#((THIS HURTS MY HEART WAUGH))

[acr3ss-the-cosmos]

Eros was never late when it came to seeing his sister. When it came to visiting the Luofu in general. Even if he liked to surprise her, his schedule was almost always the same. And he'd always go to see her first. She was the one that came to greet him and pick him up, after all.

But this time, he wasn't on one of the star skiffs that arrived. Not among the crowds that came into the Luofu. And if she tried to call him there would be no answer. No text returned beside an automated 'out of the clinic' message that popped up when he was in between his runs. When service wasn't available.

And it would remain this way. No answer. No former high elder coming in on a star skiff.

Nothing.

Unprompted. Always accepting! @draconicfool

...Where is he?

This was but one of many questions that swirled around in Chenhua's mind like a raging cyclone as she sat alone on her living room sofa, her knees tightly drawn to her chest and her tail wrapped close around her body. All of her messages and calls to Eros had been left unanswered, and he hadn't stopped by for a visit in many, many months. It was completely unlike the Vidyadhara to be so silent.

It was as if he just vanished off the face of the universe without a single trace.

"I... I don't know what happened to him, Cosmo." Chenhua choked out as her faithful Diting whined beside her, her hand stroking his back as a form of comfort for him as well as herself. "He could be hurt somewhere and can't answer me, or--" She stopped, gasping sharply. She couldn't continue, refusing to even say the words out loud, for fear that it just might be the truth. The horrible, ugly truth.

A soft sob left her lips, then another, as tears began to freely roll down her cheeks in waves. Hiding her weeping face behind her knees, her mind continued to roil in its turmoil, the total uncertainty of Eros' condition leaving a heavy weight on Chenhua's heart. She didn't know. She just. didn't. know.

"Didi... please be ok. Just please... be ok..."

[tazzomi]

I need to ramble to u about my Wild Life Scott. Waugh

Beloved Creaking hybrid!!!! Since a Creaking's particles lead u to the heart theyre tied to his lead to Jimmy bc im not over those two they r in love trust me

Also he would pls like to b picked up. Perhaps even thrown over Jimmy's shoulder and carried around

YES YES YES ACTUALLY AAAAAAOUGH CUTE

I'm a lover of flower husbands ofc ofc but I also super love the new(old) team and keep thinking of creaking Scott giving each of them a piece of his heart as a literal representation of his trust in them because he loves them so much and they're so found family you know what I'm saying ggg is my most important group ever and I will never forgive double life fandom for making Scott and Pearl enemies as their most common interpretation (half a joke I love double life and their divorce arc but last life they were besties and it HURT TO SEE THE FAN FAV INTERPRETATION) okay now I'm rambling but let it be known I agree and also also am actively drawing Imp and co. with creaking Scott

I'm so sorry I jkust took over this to ramble about galaxy duo tbh I want them to hold each other while scott rants about how hot Jimmy is when he's giant thanks for coming to my ted talk

[nerdygaymormon]

Favorite LGBTQ movie and TV quotes

“Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated… I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense?”

— David Rose, Schitt’s Creek, Season 1, Episode 10

“That felt so good to say. I feel like I just solved an escape room I’ve been trapped in my entire life.”

— Fabiola Torres, Never Have I Ever, Season 1, Episode 5

“Look, I’ll be hurt either way. Isn’t it better to be who I am?”

— Eric Effiong, Sex Education, Season 1, Episode 7

“Everybody’s story is different. There’s your version, and my version, and everything in between. But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words when your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s coming next. That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended, and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

— John, Happiest Season

“The good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them”

— Ellie Chu, The Half Of It

"When I'm with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I've tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm just too tired. I have to just be me."

— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 3, Episode 7

“Now, there is a long and honorable tradition in the gay community, and it has stood us in good stead for a very long time. When somebody calls you a name…you take it and own it.”

— Mark Ashton, Pride

“So I'm bisexual. So what? It's LGBTQ for a reason. There's a B in there and it doesn't mean Badass. Okay, it does, but it also means Bi.”

— Callie Torres, Grey's Anatomy, Episode 1105

“We’re standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, City of Brotherly Love, the birthplace of freedom where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don’t recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal.”

— Joe Miller, Philadelphia

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F*** the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks."

— Armand Goldman, The Birdcage

"Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you're the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want."

— Emily Spier, Love, Simon

"The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves and sharing that. Sharing our truth is what will make us strong. So here I am. I am both human and alien. And I am a trans woman."

— Kara Danvers, Supergirl, Season 4, Episode 19

"But I feel more when I look at a picture of Kristen Stewart than I do when I kiss him."

— Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time,

"You can’t change it. You can’t fix me. Because I’m not broken, I don’t need to be fixed, OK? I’m me!"

— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Season 5, Episode 12

"Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life."

Eliot Waugh, The Magicians, Season 1, Episode 1

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you."

—Raymond Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 5, Episode 10

"I might be…bisexual, and you guys know I hate labels, but this one feels important right now to own the space I’m in and to make sense of it."

—Kat Edison, The Bold Type

[lumii-nosity]

i finished the raven king two days ago and now my heart hurts. WAUGH. I MISS THEM ALREADY.

[eliotqueliot]

Rainy Day Quentin, Art series, Art 1

For @eidetictelekinetic! Thank you so much for the beautiful scene! It lives in my heart. Thank you also and always for all the amazing Magicians fic.

The first painting for this series is below. However--for those who'd like more details & better resolution, please see Rainy Day Quentin (with Art) - EliotQueliot - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Here's the inspiration for this project (thread started by PanBoleyn). Please visit the actual post to see the full thread--and get a hint of what other scenes I'll try my best to illustrate.

Rainy Day Quentin (with Art) (58 words) by EliotQueliot Chapters: 1/4 Fandom: The Magicians (TV) Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh Characters: Quentin Coldwater, Eliot Waugh Additional Tags: Rain, Quentin Coldwater Lives, Physical Kids Cottage (The Magicians), Comfort No Hurt Summary: An art series imagining a post-returned Quentin enjoying the simple wonder of being alive…and Eliot's concern. Includes rain and cuddles.

[ragathashairdresser]

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.

cawn we honestwy e date? you’we so beautifuw. Uwu awways make me waugh, uwu awways make me smiwe. Uwu witewawwy make me wawnt tuwu become a bettew pewson... I weawwy enjoy evewy moment we spend togethew. My time has no vawue unwess its spent with uwu. I teww evewyone of my iwws how awesome uwu awe. Thank uwu fow being uwu. Whenevew uwu need someone tuwu be thewe fow uwu, know thawt i’ww awways be wight thewe by youw side. I wove uwu so much. I don’t think uwu evew weawize how amazing uwu awe sometimes. Wife isn’t as fun whewn you’we nowt awound. Uwu awe twuwy stunning. I wawnt uwu tuwu be my souwmate. I wove the way uwu smiwe, youw eyes awe absowutewy gowgeous. If i had a staw fow evewytime uwu cwossed my mind i couwd make the entiwe gawaxy. Youw pewsonawity iws as pwetty as uwu awe awnd thats saying something. I wove uwu, pwease date me. I am nowt even cawwing iwt e dating anymowe because i know we wiww meet soon enough heawt ok i admit iwt i wove uwu ok i hecking wove uwu awnd iwt bweaks my heawt whewn i see uwu pway with someone ewse ow anyone commenting in youw pwofiwe i juwst wawnt tuwu be youw giwwfwiend awnd put a heawt in my pwofiwe winking tuwu youw pwofiwe awnd have a wawwtext of uwu commenting cute things i wawnt tuwu pway video games tawk in discowd aww night awnd watch a movie togethew but uwu juwst seem so uninstewested in me iwt hecking kiwws me awnd i cant take iwt anymowe i wawnt tuwu wemove uwu but i cawe too much abouwt uwu so pwease i’m begging uwu tuwu eaithew wove me bawck ow wemove me awnd nevew contact me again iwt huwts so much tuwu say thiws because i need uwu by my side but if uwu dont wove me then i wawnt uwu tuwu weave because seeing youw icon in my fwiendwist wouwd kiww me evewyday of my pathetic wife.

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

Do you guys ever think about the people you will never see again. Haugh. Waugh. My heart hurts

[rorykillmore]

watched a video essay earlier about arches + the dead selves you can never get back after something traumatic happens to change you and my heart has been hurting ever since waugh. pieces of media so painfully close to my heart.

[gerrydelano]

DANNY GOING 💥 ANON HERE. HEWWO. I AM SO GLAD THIS ISN'T CANON

this is perhaps??? the 8th time im rewriting this??????????? but i keep coming back to it. you're one of my favourite authors period so i HAD to just fuckging. absorb all of this so i could process it correctly.

okay okay so

1. widower tim breaks my fucking heart. like really there is no way to properly convey this to you over the screen. like. his whole thing is love, right? it's why he's the witness in literally every iteration of the gtcu. so for him to have to actually Witness gerry's death and be the most broken i have seen him across three aus where the world ends in every one of them breaks me. beyond belief. you and ren made him my favourite (next to danny) and then some. waugh

1b. 'a spire in the fog' A LIGHTHOUSE WITHOUT A LIGHT, YOU COULD SAY?

1c. i don't remember the ronologue it was exactly but it said that marriage wasn't a serious consideration but wife is a nickname that gerry loves?

2. pink is jon's honesty colour. he is wearing a pink kurta. i am going to sob.

2b. the description of the sunny day that gerry died on makes me wail.

3. MELANIE'S EVERYTHING. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE IDEA OF HER MAKING A MEMORIAL VIDEO FOR GERRY FEATURING ALL THE STATEMENT GIVERS WHO WE HELPED. TIMOTHY HODGE. CAROLINE. CALLUM.

4. divishah and the cocoa. god. actually rewinding a little to say that i made it to 'no more estrogen' before crying. sasha did lose a sister!!!! HER BROTHER DIED AND SO DID HER SISTER. FUCK

4b. okay back to the cocoa. that was really kind of her to come all the way down to the archives just to bring them all a treat i love her so much.

4c. SASHA LIKE. REVERSE WITNESSING TIM? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT GOD. GOD GOD GOD /pos

4c(i) sasha and tim's sections ending the same then danny's ending as the inverse of that. they are the siblings 4ever.

5. DANNY. DANNY!

5b. okay i am really fucking pleased because i think i figured out a through line here. I will put it in a second ask because i need to back (9th time now!) to make sure i am correct so i will leave my miscellaneous observations here

danny only names himself in his dialogue once he recalls coming back when gerry can't

he calls himself the bull and Martin the tamer like how the contortionist did

tim standing in the doorway and blocking him out reminds me of hlm when danny comes to tims house the first time and tim refers the black out curtains he had to get bc of jon's stalking? that's like. the loosest connection ever lmao but it's a parallel and it hurts. (warm and solid vs cold and intangible...)

seconding this by the description of tim's eyes being the same way as the 'nothing. and nothing hurt' that keeps popping up in rtd.

also thanking you for letting danny cry? that sounds weird but it's nice to see a moc that just. is allowed to let it out. i am rotating him (all of them really) in my head

BOOM ANOOOON i'm so glad to see you! you really did just Infiltrate My Brain with that ask and i got completely overtaken and it feels like it's been more than 5 days ngl. thank you So much for the inspiration, i did have a lot of fun with this exercise, it was a challenge to kill my favorite LOL.

cracks knuckles here we go

1. widower tim breaks MY heart! "his whole thing is love, right?" you GET IT! his whole thing IS love! i can't see him as anything other than the witness at this point, even if pbr!witness is extremely different and Much Wetter than the original rtd!witness. him witnessing gerry's death in here is actually just fucking awful because he'd subsist on it in a very specific way; the arrangement renders it a suicide just as much as a murder. writing him this broken was so painful but so satisfying djhfkjdf tim is a worthy favorite to have! he's always been my favorite of the original archives crew, if it wasn't Blatantly Obvious by how much we center him LMAO.

1b. a lighthouse without a light.... you're krilling me, boom anon. shrimply krilling me.

1c. i believe it was the one about gerry being a transfem gay man!

2. pink! is the jon honesty color! yes!!!! he's been quite forthright this whole time i think, they're all really just. wondering what the point would be in anything else.

2b. i neeeeded that anachronism there so badly, just. it's a bright summer day! it's never actually raining or dreary when things like this happen (unless you recall that it was raining in venice when tim was drowned. that time it rained.) but generally, the world goes on. i think... i also just wanted that sunny day to be a little reminder of the kind of person gerry was at his core. symbolism etc etc.

3. i was SOOOO STUMPED ON MELANIE for a WHILE before i remembered she was a youtuber and then i exploded on the spot. her video is titled "the long overdue absolution of gerard keay" and she works for six months to make it perfect and it gets a lot of bad attention and skeptics but mostly condolences and maybe even a few people who had their own experiences but didn't recognize who he was until they saw a picture of him smiling. she'd include selfies they'd taken together as proof of her knowing him. i'm crying a little.

4. sasha losing a sister is a phrase i had a hard time with because there are so many ways to read it, like. that was her best friend's wife, and so kind of her sister that way, but also just. a sister. no more estrogen. no more joy.

4b. divshah is a sweet and thoughtful little bee girl and i am so sorry to her forever because people definitely make fun of her but GERRY NEVER DID! GERRY NEVER DID!

4c. sasha reverse witnessing tim GUHHHH yep! yep! her whole corruption thing is about grief, too, it crosses lines! they all have to do with loss in one way or another!

4c(i). YES YOU NOTICED THE INVERSE YESSSS my work here is complete

5. DANNY INDEED! FUCK!

5b. 9 times jhbfkjnfkjn wildman! i'm crying again!

observations:

YES I AM SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THAT TOO i didn't want him to name himself much in his pov section but i needed to use it there and GUH. you are the most observant and you made my night jdfhbdk

always comes back to the bullfighter and the bleeding man dunnit

that's a fun connection to make tbh!!!! i was saying to ren today "you know what'd Suck the most? if tim didn't even let him in the house and they just talked in the doorway" and they were like "then you have to do it. if it sucks the most that's what you have to do." and YEP! it sucks the most to me!!!! for precisely that reason!

tim's eyes also hurt me like hi mr. spooky man maybe work on that a little bit please g-d you're gonna scare a small child like that. very good connection to rtd though you are NAILING IT and i am over the MOON.

danny crying is extremely important to me for that reason too yes g-d. like. all the other men cried in this, too (especially tim YIKES, MAN) but something about letting danny just weep openly and in such a human way felt like. g-d he's needed this for such a long time. so much longer than anybody is able to count. he needed to let that out and be held through it and he needed to accept that comfort and it's not the first time, really! i try not to be too restrained with letting characters cry because there are a thousand reasons that somebody might like, feel good about seeing it just play out naturally and without shame.

thank you so much for your observations and your enthusiasm and just, everything, jfhbkjnfkjn gosh WOW thank you!

[hazyaltcare]

Hi! i hope you're having a good day, could I request some positivity?

so like... i'm chiaki nanami from SDR2. but my timeline was way different from the game in the sense that i was the mastermind behind the killing game. kind of? i was basically manipulated into running it by junko. i don't quite remember what it was, but she was holding something over my head that i would have died to protect. and oh my fucking god i feel so guilty. i loved everybody there. and i was literally part of the reason that the majority of them died, it wasn't a simulation in my timeline. i basically murdered over half of my best friends, the people that had my entire heart. and now i cant even interact with like danganronpa material without feeling so guilty. without the reminder of what i did. and i want to try and find sourcemates because i miss all of them so fucking much but i feel so bad about thinking about that because i don't deserve to reconnect with them, even if they weren't from my timeline i still hurt them!

waugh im so sorry for this :(. tysm and i love your blog btw!

hello, thank you so much for your well wishes! (✿◡‿◡)

you have nothing to apologize for, i promise. this is one of the purposes of this blog.

anyway, i'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through all that. being manipulated into doing something against your will and your values (much less murder!) sounds traumatizing, and it's completely okay to be stressed out about it. you're not a bad person just because you've come from a fucked up timeline, and you don't deserve to be punished in this world for it. this life shouldn't have to be spent with you apologizing for your other life, and you shouldn't be judged by anyone for it... including by yourself.

your worry about your friends shows that you care about them, their well-being, their feelings. the way you regret your actions (you were forced, manipulated, it was barely a choice) shows that you wouldn't hurt them again if you can help it.

however, your being reminded of your actions whenever you see danganronpa media is valid and normal. what happened was traumatic and you don't have to move on immediately, you don't have to pretend it was okay. you are allowed to express your struggles, you need to be supported for having them. you deserve to have your needs met, including be supported in healing from these events.

but you're still allowed to want to, and to find, sourcemates. it's okay, and very common, to miss people you've known. it's okay, and many can relate, to wanting to meet people who understand. i can relate.

sourcemates shouldn't be judging you based on your other life. it wouldn't be fair to assess you as a person without interacting with you beforehand. moreover, you didn't hurt every single danganronpa folk. you've only hurt the ones in your own timeline, not the others. you've never met or even known them, you can't have hurt them. not even by accident, because they're literally from other worlds, other lives, other timelines.

regarding the people from your own timeline, i believe you do deserve to reconnect with them. even if they don't forgive you, i think knowing that you didn't do it out of your own volition (that means you were not the mastermind, Junko was) would make them at least understand why you did what you did.

also, as a person who's done the same thing as you back "home" (though under different circumstances), what helps me is the fact that being the perpetrator of something does not undo my being the victim of something else. this is the same for you. your murders of your friends does not undo the fact that you were manipulated and blackmailed. please try to remember that.

last but not least, thank you for loving our blog! we do try our best to provide a respectful, accepting environment. i hope you have a good day, too. take care and stay safe out there.

mod vintage (🍇)

[cavaliersecondary]

thinking about eliot waugh too much makes my heart hurt. my boy :(

[falsemilkbun]

So people's assorted possessive grudges against Mithrun have made this one of the weirdest fandoms I've yet observed in terms of things like gender presentation.

Do I think it's *all* shipwar grudge? No, I'm sure plenty of it is also a widespread insecurity over effeminate and/or androgynous male characters, or just effeminate characters in general.

Waugh, gender and art and SA chatter under the cut, please open only if you're in the mood to read Alla That.

Mithrun before he's traumatized puts on the same sunny, unbothered disposition as Everyone's Favorite Ambiguously Trans Beast. He's so radiant and sweet that it literally hurts poor Milsiril's eyes, and she resents him for it. She doesn't like him at all until she sees the dungeon he's built and realizes that their pains are similar, that they could have been friends.

And as for his pain, I've seen it argued that the 'masc' (flat affect, depressed, suicidal) Mithrun is 'real' and this one is 'fake.' To this I say: What is more Girl, more Mitski-coded, than putting up a syrupy front that everyone can love because your absolute deepest fear is being discarded?

I think if Mithrun was a female character the fan energy around her would be pretty different. You can't portray a girl like this

and not have a majority of people feel at least an inescapable societal pressure to perform sympathy for her. To talk about this as having 'fixed' her by making her less of a fake bitch would get you flayed. People would call you an incel. This is not about how people respond to SA survivors in reality, which is generally awful and exploitative, but how we respond to it in art and stories.

Mithrun when he's doing everything he can, whittling himself down to nothing if he's not kept up after, in the express interest of fully discarding himself is not more real than the way he learned to behave to ingratiate himself to people even when he feared them and didn't respect them. I see these people as the same, as different expressions of the same fear: That he's not worth having (so he'd better do everything to convince people that he is/so he might as well die) and that's. A very effeminate anxiety.

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best -MARINA

pretending that mithrun wasn't designed as androgynous character is honestly a bit silly on the surface, but reveals some deeply ingrained beliefs that i don't wanna unpack. i wanna say though, it's interesting. as someone who also draws and designs characters sometimes, i can say, it's clear to me the way kui draws mithrun, the way she portrayed him is very thought-out and has specific feelings she wanted to invoke in minds, just like with all the other characters.

if she didn't want readers to be a little "confused" about his gender at first, she wouldn't make him use "watashi" as a pronoun. the uniform he wears was clearly designed for him, because he's the only character who looks really good in it (she even said that she tried to make it more fitting for others, but it looks a little weird on other dudes) and it has a skirt and thigh-high boots, and it's something that manga constantly puts in focus during the scenes where he fights. if kui didn't want to create gap moe or let you think about mithrun as "cute" in general she wouldn't make him wear clothes that are too big for him and a scarf tied into bow, clearly connecting him to characters like izutsumi. yes, his face is also pretty, but it's not all of it, it's not just an art style.

saying that his tallman's form is how he's actually supposed to look is a bit silly too, it was a joke that could only exist if mithrun's main design was cute and dainty enough to create that funny dissonance. and when you think about it, mithrun's tallman's appearance isn't exactly a true portrayal of his personality, is it? on the same page where he's revealed to be this cool-looking buff tallman, he's also revealed to be just as silly as he's been all this time. he's still the same guy who'd tell you all the gossips. he looks strong because he trains a lot, he trains a lot because he thinks he wants revenge, being physically strong is not some inherent truth about him that puts him in some labeled box. the force of his will is much more important for his recovery, for example.

it's fine to acknowledge that mithrun is elegant and cute and funny but also strong, cool and straightforward to a fault at the same time. it's not a dichotomy, these are just traits of personality that can coexist. and it has little to do with how he looks, but since he's a character and not a real person, there are some thought-out reasons for him to look like he looks. it's fine to redesign characters for your own art style and sometimes it's a good idea, but i don't really understand why people always redesign mithrun to fit more into what they perceive of him. kui is great at character design, so i wonder what's the problem here.

[eliotqueliot]

Mosaic Haiku, Chapter 15

This chapter of Mosaic Haiku is dedicated to exploring the theme "Warm Up" for the 2024 micro Magicians fanworks challenge hosted by @magiciansfanworksextravaganza "The 'warm up' theme could include vibes that are warm, cozy, related to winter, being hot (in any sense of that word), warming up or preparing for a big event, just starting out in something like magic, or any spin you’d like to put on it!"—Warm Up, Dec. 1-7, 2024

--------Mosaic Haiku Intro--------------

Welcome! I'm writing a series of haiku about the Mosaic! Disclaimer, I don't own any of these images (they're from the TV series adapted from Lev Grossman's series, The Magicians, which aired on SyFy). I'm just writing about them, ekphrastic style (seeing the image is an important reference when reading the poem, so I wanted to group them together). To read more about the project, the form, my author's notes (including a few more haiku), and to eventually see the paintings and drawings I'm making of these scenes (often with greater visibility/lighting or other small changes), please visit the page for this chapter at AO3 (link below). Note: I'm slowly making the art, so please stay tuned for that as each piece is done! Either way, I hope you'll enjoy these reflections on the best episode of TV (The Magicians, Season 3, Episode 5, “A Life in the Day”) and my favorite ship, Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh!

Mosaic Haiku (with Art) - Chapter 14 - EliotQueliot - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

(Please also find some cool images for "A Life in the Day" at Getty and SyFy.)

We're best friends. That's why we work, why I waited, why we'll be happy here.

Had to go slowly: stakes too high. It's you, it's me: can't risk losing this.

Went to Fillory, fell in love with my best friend. A life worth living.

Fires smoldered all year: be careful; seize your moment. Torches. It’s go time.

* * *

Will you be mine when— —We go home? —Find the beauty of all life? —Right now?

* * *

“Are you cold, honey?” Wrap me up all night: arms, legs. You’re the best blanket.

* * *

Warm summer evenings: nights under the stars, our quilt soft as I love you

-------------------------------

Eliot

“What are you doing?” My heart breaks with yours: brave Q, love of my life—twice.

I acted so cold. Inside, heart I buried deep raged against the light.

The pain of waking: everything’s so real it hurts; such beauty brings tears.

Thaw melts my façade. It’s not spring: more like the fires of hell: I ran away

From a heart so dear. Dared not admit what I’d lost: warmth of home. Love. You.

You’re the lighthouse: love shining from your face. I need that door back to you.

You smiled, asking me. Sunny, soft, such warmth. A kiss wakes love burning bright.

Door creaks, leaking light. Can't leave you; but I must, to find you. My heart melts.

-------------------------------

Sizzling. Smoking hot. Your touch so warm we ignite. Hot as hell, baby.

-------------------------------

Eliot: The Quest Begins

The Great Cock takes time to say Q and I belong: two parts of one whole.

My life’s warming up; not just king: man with a heart, and it goes with Q’s.

-------------------------------

This airplane’s purring! Engines warmed up, we lift off, soaring on joy, love.

So much laughter: it's not tedium, just sameness with purpose: this quest,

Our lives together. Tile-game serves as canvas For our love. Big win.

Best part of each day: teasing, playing between tiles, this warmth between us.

-------------------

First step of the quest through the clock, do you feel it? Magic! It's starting!

World feels fresh and new: it's all possible, even fairy-tale romance.

Warmth surging through us: touch the magic, touch me: your embrace warm, tender.

We leap with our hearts: seize your partner, celebrate with this soul-deep hug.

------------------------

To read all the chapters of Mosaic Haiku on Tumblr or check on which AO3 chapters have paintings or sketches posted:

If you'd like to leave comments/kudos, or see the art I'm making in place with the haiku (highly recommended! Much greater resolution/details for the art on AO3; also, please view on a larger screen if possible), please come back and visit:

Mosaic Haiku (with Art) - Chapter 15 - EliotQueliot - The Magicians (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

[kuinshi]

“What happened with Kamski?” He asked quietly, his necessity to discover the truth overcoming every other obstacle. Gavin lowered his eyes, and tried to brace himself for what he was going to say.

Connor deserved to know. It was the least Gavin could do.

“He’s my twin brother,” he choked out.

Connor came a little closer to him, and Gavin let him. Let him wrap his arms around him gently, let him close his eyes and listen as he held him.

Gavin held him back.

But I guess that’s love (I can’t pretend) - Chapter 9 by @99millionmilesaway

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Correct, I am incredibly feral. Feral enough to start writing a reply and then forgor 💔

Definitely think Demetri and Eli should...slurp each other's blood, if you know what I mean 👀

WAUGH ANGSTY VAMPMETRI MY BELOVED, HE IS SO DEAR TO ME!!! And I probably will, because the slayers are coming for the poor man and you best believe my dumb ass is getting in the way!!! I would take a stake for him 💕💕💕

Demetri feeling so ashamed and guilty about what he is makes my heart hurt :( Especially since, knowing him, this very definitely was not something he actively chose for himself. He was probably either scammed/tricked into it (he DOES strike me as that gullible, unfortunately XD) or force-transformed somehow. So he's stuck in an undead hell, and wants to save the boy he loves from it 💔 But he can't!!! Because Eli loves him too much to let him go through his shit alone!!! And I am so unwell!!!

Eli really has perfected the art of Big Soulful Baby Cow Eyes, and by god, it will be Demetri's downfall XD

"But it would be beyond selfish, beyond the damnation he was already subjected to, to bring Eli into this life--or lack thereof." The way he would definitely feel like this though ;_____; Like he loves Eli so, so much!!! Of course he wouldn't want to subject him to what he views as the same empty, torturous existence!!! Unfortunately, Eli has other ideas...and very convincing puppy dog eyes 👀

Eli you seductive little shit XD Hey, man, that's cheating!!! You know your mans can't resist vampire dirty talk!!!

Eli throwing a fit about having to look two whole weeks older is so in character honestly XD

I wonder who turned Demetri??? Headcanoning John Kreese hired an army of vampire hitmen to finally win the war against the cursed Miyagi Dos XD Probably everyone else got away, but Demetri got got 💔 The hitmen vampires were like "hey man, you seem cool and smart, can we take you to this secluded location so you can teach us how to code??? We'll be WAY better friends than that guy who ditched you for the snake dojo, we promise..."

ROSE THIS ATE 🍴I WILL reblog all your hawkmetri content if it's the last thing I do!!!

Tis I, the Hell Yeah anon!!! If you're still looking for halloween prompts, could I get the ckhalloween prompt "monstrous transformations" for Elimetri?

hey, sorry this took me so long, but i'd never not take a prompt from the elusive "Hell Yeah!" anon ! here's a 400 word drabble for you with vampire!Demetri

(@ckhalloween22 if you're still reblogging stuff? no worries if not i know it's way past halloween lol. and @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends because, well. you're feral. in the best way :-) )

warning that this one's a bit suggestive in the way that all vampire blood drinking = metaphor for sex is, but it's not, like. too sexy, ykwim

"You don't wanna be like me," Demetri whispered into the crook of Eli's neck, pressing a kiss to the skin there. They were laying side by side on Demetri's bed, and Demetri could feel the shame, heavy like an anchor pulling him deep within the depths of waves. The guilt behind it all licks like flames to his insides; it's the warmth of Eli's skin. And the bitter chill of his own.

"I do," Eli insisted. "More than anything. I wanna live forever with you, Dem. Don't you want me to live forever with you?" he asked, and his eyes were so soulful and human, then. Like the baby cows they saw on the road trips. Like honey, warm in the sun. Everything human, with none of the restraints.

But Demetri nodded. What he wanted more than anything was exactly what he had now, with Eli. They could travel across the country, live in small towns for a few years at a time until people got suspicious. But it would be beyond selfish, beyond the damnation he was already subjected to, to bring Eli into this life--or lack thereof.

But he met Eli's eyes, and they were begging. He brought his hand up, letting his thumb rest on Demetri's slightly open lips. "Don't you want a taste?" he tempted, voice low and daring.

"I do," Demetri whispered, because he could never lie, not to Eli. "You know I do, but I--" his breath hitched as he breathed in his scent, testing his resolve to the best of his abilities.

"I wanna see it, when you do," Eli continued, knowing exactly what he was doing to Demetri. "I wanna see my blood on your lips, I want--"

"Eli," Demetri practically whimpered, feeling about as flushed as he could manage given the circumstances.

"I want to satisfy you. And I want you to tell me how good it tastes. Yeah?" Eli asked, grinning smugly at Demetri's loss for words.

"Mm-hm," Demetri nodded. "But...after graduation."

Eli groaned, his act slipping away in an instant. "But that's in two weeks! I'll look two weeks older than I am now!"

"I think it'll be fine," Demetri grinned. "You'll look just as beautiful as you look now. And then...we'll spend an eternity together..."

Eli nodded, burrowing into Demetri's arms. Demetri had worried about this ever since he'd been turned two years ago--being lonely. But here, with Eli. They were inseparable, and Demetri would never be lonely in all the centuries they both would live.