#((So if you don't like hearing me talk negatively about the show... I probably repeated myself a lot; probably best to just not read this.))

[submissive-wifey]

𝙏𝙤 𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙈𝙚 Stop Crying Ft. Husband Scaramouche

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Warning ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

ᰔ afab! reader ᰔ mentioned of both female and male reproductive system ᰔ overthinking ᰔ implied cheating ᰔ implied non con ᰔ nsfw! under the cut

So, I am currently having a mix feelings since before and a hundreds of negative thoughts was crossing on my mind about what if my husband don't love me anymore, what if he got tired of me or he find me just a bother? I know that he's busy since he is the 6th Harbinger of the 11th Fatui but I couldn't help but to think such things.

Maybe, what if he is already having a love affair? What if there is another woman..?

Those thoughts made me feel like I was stabbed straight to my heart and I decided to go to his office to check him out if he's doing alright.

I knocked on the door softly and heared unfamiliar feminine voice, my heart skips a beat before opening the door and saw him sitting on his chair with another girl standing in front of his table wearing a very short skirt.

"What do you want?" He said with his husky voice in annoyance. I gulped in nervousness since my heart skipping every other beat but I still keep my cool because of that girl, she had a face as pale as porcelain and looked like a ghost except for her light short green hair and her hazel eyes which seemed to bore into my soul and gave me the creeps with how cold they were while she stood in front of him with a frown on her disgusting lips. She glared at me as if she has some beef with me and I don't even know her, but why is she in my husband's office?

A thought suddenly strikes me about my overthinking that what if I'm right? What if he was actually having a love affair with a seductress?

I mean, she looks like a whore.

My brain helpfully supplied and I shook away these thoughts. No one's sleeping with my man. It wasn't like he was a virgin. That girl probably just wanted some sex with his money. But that didn't mean she should be here. Her presence alone makes me feel so uneasy.

"I just wanted to check if you're doing alright since we've barely see each other." I replied softly with a fake smile on my lips, I felt a bit guilty that I couldn't get my hands off of my dress. I felt like such a fool for thinking my husband would cheat on me and I was trying to act nonchalant about it and keep up appearances when I really wanted to cry right then and there. I had this horrible feeling that my husband cheated on me by being with another woman while I sat at home and waited for him like an idiot.

"You do know that I'm busy, Y/N" He inhaled deeply and crossed his arms as leaned against his chair, he looked like he wants to say something but stopped himself before saying anything."Yes, I know you have a lot of work, I can see it from your office." I said looking around and saw that there was a disorganized documents on his table and some papers scattered on the floor.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about-" "No" He cut off my words abruptly. His face had a stern expression and his indigo eyes with a bold red eyeliner glistened as they focused on mine, but there was something about them that sent chills down my spine. I felt like his eyes were staring straight into my soul and could read my every little feeling. They also held an unknown emotion and I was unsure of what was going through his mind at that moment.

"No?" I repeated. He took in another deep breath, exhaling slowly and let out another sigh before leaning forward with both arms resting on the surface of his desk. He stared at my chest which he knew by now that I wore a simple tight black dress that showed my toned legs with a v neck which reveals my cleavage, but I didn't wear any shoes. He was still gazing into my eyes intently as he spoke again,"I said no."

"But you didn't-" He cut me off again, "Y/N, I am busy. I told you already that I don't have enough time to spend with you lately.""Why not?" I questioned curiously. I know I shouldn't ask those questions, but his stare made it hard for me to control myself,"Because you are an absolute nuisance. You keep spitting unnecessary things." "That's impossible. You always tell me whenever I have a question. Now, answer me this, is my husband cheating on me?"

I heared my heart pounding loudly in my ears when I ask him my question and gripping on my dress to ease the emotion I felt. He then grit his teeth as he close his eyes in irritation before turning his gaze back to me. "GET OUT!" He shouted as if he's commanding me to get out of the office. He then pointed at the door with anger shining in his indigo eyes. I felt like crying. But instead of letting tears come out, I just ran out of his office.

My heart couldn't accept what he said to me and I immedietly stormed straight to my room and lock the door as my tears started flowing.

I threw myself on the bed and burried my face on the pillows to minimize my sobs.

And at the present moment, I continued sobbing for the past 2 hours. Hoping he is not cheating on me with that girl, wishing he would remain faithful to me but he is sophisticated and attractive man that would eventually the ladies will try to seduce him.

I only wished him to cuddle with me but then he shut me out with his hurful statement.

I hug my pillow tightly as my heart continue to bawl out. I never knew that such things existed but I was too dumbfounded and scared to ask about them. He was a professional person who rarely gets involved with the women's industry because of his integrity. He wouldn't cheat on me right? I asked myself that. Maybe he was just jealous that other women got ahead of him but why didn't he confide in me?

And suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. I didn't respond to it and hoping that person who is knocking on my door will leave since I am currently crying. The knocking continued to grow louder as the moment continued to pass by, but I choose not to pay attention to it.

I sense my door opened and a footsteps echoed inside my bedchamber. The empty space of the bed dips with the heavy weight that I assume belongs to my husband. I didn't bother to look at him but remained burrying my face on the soaked pillow. The mattress sinks in the place where my husband should rest his head.

"I didn't mean to shout at you.." He whispered softly with his husky voice, he sat beside me and he wrap his arm around my waist and kissed my hair lightly. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body, but his cold touch sent shivers down my spine. He pulled me closer to him and nuzzled his face on my hair.

"No." I tried saying a single word with a neutral tone to avoid quavering. "Look at me." He commanded with a stern voice as he tried to cup my cheeks but I push him instead. He fell down on the bed and he let out a loud groan, looking at me in disbelief and I burried my face back to the pillow.

"I see how it is.." He rolled me over and pinning me under him as he grab my wrists, forcing them above my head. "What are you doing!?" I shrieked as I squirmed and struggle to get away. It seems that the way to deal with me was just to pin me down and make sure that I'm under him until I finally calm down.

"You're throwing a tantrum which gives me a headache and I refuse to listen to your damn crying! You're going to give me something in return for taking your stupid emotional outburst!" He yelled at me with a furious tone of his voice and I flinched. It didn't take long before he pinned my legs together making my breath catch on my throat and I could feel tears streaming down my face.

He leaned down and he start giving me light kisses on the side of my neck, leaving a row of a light bruises and kiss marks on it. He then continued leaving an array of light markings on my neck as if he starts to enjoy himself at the taste of my skin as his kisses making their way down to my collarbone that made me gasps softly.

"Now, are you going to stop your damn crying, Y/N?" He asked me sounding rather amused and satisfied at the same time. My cries slowly stopped after he left a few more light bruises on me. "Good." I hear him mumble. Butterflies started to ramble on my stomach as he continued his bold actions on me and I started to feel my cheeks burning at the sensation of his markings.

"S-Stop.." I gasps softly since he is now activating my hormones. "Why should I? I deserve a reward for putting up with your constant stubbornness." He move up to my ear and whispered those words with his husky voice and a goosebumps crawls on my skin.

I bit my lip to avoid making those sounds he was trying to trigger and struggles to remove my hands away from his grasps.

"Ah... Ah.." He grumbles as he tightened his grip on my wrist, moving his kisses to the base on my neck before sinking his teeth into my soft delicate skin as just hard enough to leave a light possessive mark. "No biting, You will not hide the sweet sounds you make."

"S-Scara..." My breathing became shallow as soon as I felt his teeth on my skin and I let out a soft moans as the shivers running down to my spine. "So, you finally decided to stop crying." He says while removing his lips from the sensitive part of my neck, leaving behind two wet red trails that makes me shudder involuntarily.

"S-Scaramouche.. Please.. Stop.. " My body went stiff once his hot breath hit the sensitive spot causing me to shiver even harder. My heartbeat started getting irregular with each passing second, as all thoughts were gone except one: 'I want it.'

"Maybe if your moans get loud enough, I might think about stopping." He whispered on my skin as he gave the new mark one more lick before moving to the other side of my collarbone. I let out a muffled scream at the pain that he inflicted on me. His kisses were starting to be too much and it felt like my whole body was going to melt if he keeps doing this. And yet his lips weren't on mine yet. I didn't dare to open my mouth, not wanting to give him the satisfaction knowing that I was enjoying this torture.

I then averted my gaze from him to hide the blush on my cheeks and he grumbles as he places his fingers under my chin, forcing me turn my head back to face him again. "Now, who told you to look away from me? You will stop holding your moans back and make those lovely sounds for me." He demanded in a low demanding tone and my eyes widen at the sudden order. "Don't be so disobedient.." His finger trailed along the edge of my jawline. "Please..." I whimpered helplessly and he laughed before sinking his teeth once again into the base of my neck leaving a dark, harsh looking bite mark on the skin as he feels another shaky breath from me.

He lift himself away from me for a bit and moves his leg before looking at me dead in the eyes as his leg brushing against my cloth entrance. His breathing grows heavier as he sees my legs shaking causing me to arch into him as I hold the blanket tightly on both sides of me.

"Mhmm.. S-Scara..!" My breath hitches when he added more friction and angled his leg properly on my sensitive spot. He groans in response when I called out his name as if he's unable to hold back the sound that wanted to make its way from his throat.

"I need to hear you say those words.." He whispers between his heavy breathing as he move his leg in a circular motion against me, my breathing grow more shallow as I continue to shake for him. He pant quietly as he leans in even closer, leaning down and starts to trail kisses along my jawline.

"Hahh... I'm.. I'm yours.." I looked at him with a bawdy expression before inhaling deeply while moaning sofly. His breathe hitches in his throat as he hears me give him the answer he wanted. I could feel a satisfied smile growing on his face as he hears the words fall from my mouth, his body started shaking a bit from the heat that had taken over. "That's a good girl..." He praised as he move his head away from my jawline, looking down at me with his eyes shining and a sinister smile appeared on his lips. He started kissing my face repeatedly before placing his mouth on the soft spot below my earlobe while his hand travels to my core. He caresses my wet folds through my panties as he rubs slow circles over my swollen cloth clit. I squirm and gasp loudly as my body started reacting to what he's doing to me and I can't keep myself composed any longer.

He close his eyes and bites down on his own lip as he feels the heat of my body through his clothes. He leans in and plants a soft kisses on my lips and moving his hand on my thigh that was circling on my cloth folds before, brushing two fingers on my inner thigh that made me feel all tingly inside and my breath hitch and I started trembling uncontrollably.

"I'll show you how much you can take of me." He said in a hoarse deep voice. I let out a moan just like he wanted as my body is already preparing to get ready for him. Feeling hotter and hotter.

His other hand moves up to my breast making me let out a small moan that only fuels him further and he lets out another husky chuckle before his thumb started rubbing around my hardened nipple and my eyes closed as I tried to relax myself but it's impossible. His movements were slow and deliberate as he continues caressing my heated body.

"Please, S-Scaramouche.. I couldn't keep up any longer." I whined as the feeling of his touches intensified and he laughs before he slowly lifts his own hips as he pushes his pants and underwear off his legs and letting it land somewhere on the ground. Shivering as I feel his own body getting even warmer than before. I look up to him, feeling slightly dizzy and a desperate expression can be seen on my face. He was breathing shaky and heavy, "Are you ready...?"

I nod quickly without a word and he smirks playfully at me before he slowly move the hem of my dress and taking off my panty, he then grab my legs and pulled them apart until they are wide opened. He grabs one of my legs and placed it on top of his shoulder, I felt so open and vulnerable in front of him especially when he is staring at me intensely like I am his prey. As soon as he starts teasing the center of my opening, my whole world gets turned upside down and I can't help but cry out loud with pleasure as his fingers started digging inside my wet velvety walls.

"Ahhh... Ohh... S-Scara... Ahhh!"

He groaned lowly, moving faster against me as my cries grew louder and I wrapped my legs tighter around his shoulder. I felt my body start to get weak and he chuckled before wrapping my legs around his shoulders again and continuing the action. "You're so wet..." He moaned with his mouth near my ear causing my already tight core to tighten even more.

At the part where I'm about to reach my climax, he stopped. The feeling of emptiness spread all over my body as I felt a wave of disappointment washed over me. I breathe heavily and look at him curiously, wondering why he stopped, I saw him smirk evilly before pulling out all his fingers from me, making me whine in frustration. His eyes shifting to look down on my legs as he positioned his body in between them, he stares at my hole, licking his lips lightly as he started pushing my legs to spread even wider. He looks at me with a smirk, "Ready?~"

My husband's member is so huge and veiny almost bigger than my entire body. He is still coated with pre cum, which makes me wonder just how long it takes before he came. It seems like it doesn't take long at all since he hasn't started thrusting his thick member yet. He wrap his fingers around his shaft, stroking it slowly and I watch causing sparks of electric feelings to fly around on my stomach. My heart rate quickened at the thought that he could just thrust real hard, deeper inside of me. I feel so hot and aching in just an instant.

"Mhmm... Yeah.." I answered breathlessly as I bite on my lower lip. Watching how he stroke his shaft up and down with his fingers in anticipation. And with that, my eyes rolled at the back of my head before I threw my head on the bed board and released a loud moan, gripping onto the sheets tightly because of the intense pleasure I felt out of a sudden entrance of his massive cock.

Author's Note :

[ I got the art icons from pinterest ]

I'm falling in love with this first POV writing style ahhh!

Request are open btw!

[ Reblogging my post appreciated! 🍷💕 ]

[bbanghiitomi]

| lukewarm.

synopsis: you're neither cold nor warm, neither mad nor happy. you don't hate minji, and no — don't get the wrong idea, you definitely love minji even if you tell yourself you don't anymore.

— nonidol!kminji × nonidol!vballplayer!fem!reader

ʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ

"nice shirt, i noticed you have a lot of those." yeeun pointed out to minji as the tall girl pulled the hem of her shirt to fix the creases on the fabric. minji laughed and took a seat on the couch inside their friend's living room. "yeah, i do have a lot of these but i can't wear them for now." minji replied, looking down then scratching her nape with a sheepish expression.

"why not?" yeeun asked, leaning on the couch, hanni entered the living room with three cans of soda and placed it on the table. minji looked at hanni then to their classmate. "some of my clothes are still inside y/n's room." hanni laughed, covering her mouth. minji sighed as hanni tapped their classmate's shoulder. "hey, go on drink!" she said, pushing a can on the girl's hands.

"oh, i didn't know you two broke up." yeeun stated, opening the can as the sound of fiz rang inside minji's head, reminding her of the sound y/n's favorite drink makes.

"they did quite a long time ago." hanni piped in, looking at yeeun with the signature look on her face that said "can you believe that?" yeeun nodded but minji rolled her eyes and sighed. "not quite, it's only been two weeks and a half, remember when we presented our research? we've already broken up at that time." minji corrected.

"so it hasn't been that long huh?" yeeun muttered and chugged the drink. hanni shook her head and waved her hand. "well, that has to be at least the longest, because i remember when they broke up and it only lasted for like 2 days." hanni received a chuckle from yeeun and a groan from minji.

"you're so weird hanni." minji scoffed.

"but it's true, right? you act like you're not hoping to make up with her — but she's been ignoring you for days, on repeat." hanni nudged her friend, yeeun shrugged and spoke. "i did hear hiyyih mention that you once broke up with her and then got back up after a few days." yeeun remembered during one recess where hiyyih was talking with friends and mentioned your argument with minji.

minji nodded. "technically, that's true. but it's different now, it's not just a burst of negative emotions, she's serious this time. and i'm starting to think this isn't gonna get better anytime." hanni sighed. "well friend, guess what? it's not gonna be just her being moody, you can't just fix it with a date on a saturday morning."

"i never said i can. i literally saw her shitting on me on her twitter account — she even blocked me on her instagram." minji pushed her hair back and rolled her eyes. "that's probably what being sick of each other's faces gets you." she added.

yeeun looked at hanni then to minji. "well what happened? is that why you were moody after we got scolded during our presentation?" yeeun asked, placing the cold can on the table. minji nodded. "it's not really just that but mostly yeah, remember during the festival at our school?" minji asked yeeun.

it was the day after she lied to you about staying out at a classmate's house late at night for their class' stall. in reality, she was indeed helping out but most of the time was spent on drinking. she told you she was going home at 11pm and asked you to sleep — you were convinced because hell! she had you on a video call, showed you the surroundings, table and there was no fucking alcohol to be found, you even asked her classmates, specially the closest mutual; kim jiwon.

jiwon's answer was: "honestly, i don't really know — but they did go there to continue building our stall, i was informed by yeeun that they were there for a couple of hours."

so you were convinced, but it only took you two days to realize — you had a conversation with jiwon's friend during your volleyball training; naoi rei, she mentioned that she was tired from that night, that she had to come home at between 1am and 2am, they stayed over late because they weren't able to finish the stall up until 1am due to the fact they got drunk.

you were fucking pissed, you realized that was the reason minji came to school late that festival, was literally sitting behind their stall asleep, drunk 3 cups of coffee to stay awake.

and she even had the nerve to come to your class' stall and "support" you.

during the night before the research presentations, you had a conversation with her. that's where you poured out all the hidden anger you've been bottling up lately, you don't care how much she spent time watching you play volleyball — you know damn well she's doing that because she's done something stupid.

then, you started ignoring her — heck, even your homeroom teacher and hers had to get in between for the tea.

everyone, including her classmates and your classmates were surprised, you were the IT couple of the batch and it was all poured down the drain because of one stupid night.

"well, yeah. you got drunk the night before right?" minji slapped a hand on her face when yeeun mentioned it. "yes, and fuck she got so mad." yeeun scratched her head. "i thought everything was good, you even ate lunch with her the day after the festival."

"she found out i lied, and i seriously thought it was not that serious but she just bursted out mad at me." minji added, rubbing her face. hanni scoffed and hit her friend on her shoulder.

"you're lucky she just screamed at you, i would've punched you in the face, scumbag!"

yeeun laughed. "wow, no wonder she went out with wonyoung instead after they won the volleyball match."

"yeah and that's why i didn't ask you to watch, because imagine if she just spiked the ball at my face." yeeun couldn't help but laugh harder, hanni scoffed. "so what now, loser? her parents are still attached to you and the school ceremony for top student's next week, wouldn't that be awkward?" minji stared at her friend with a stone cold expression.

"i haven't even gotten my clothes yet."

hanni threw her head back and frowned. "but minji! you can have all the time to get those things back, we know y/n would return it but… dude does your parents even know what happened?"

yeeun winced. "ugh, that'll be hard."

minji nodded. "yeah, i don't think she's ever mentioned anything about it. her parents are pretty strict and care more about her education, i'm even shocked they let her be with me. i feel like she's only told them about our break up, nothing more than that."

"well good luck then." hanni stated.

minji sat by one of the chairs surrounding a round table, her eyes are on the people mingling around people, wearing smart casuals. it's the ceremony and her mom isn't somewhere to be seen, she said she'll be talking with the other guests and left minji. minji sighed.

you on the other hand preferred being with your friends, wonyoung and yoona. you really never expected anything surprising other than seeing the face of your stupid ex, you spot minji sitting beside yeeun and hanni, the two talked but minji sat there with a frown.

you snickered.

everything is supposed to be okay, until you saw your mother with minji's mom, they both approached minji and you couldn't help but wince, turning your back against the view, refusing to even get yourself involved on your mother prying over your relationship.

"minji! i haven't seen you in a long time." minji looked in front of her and saw your mother and her mom. she stood up quickly and greeted the older woman. "good evening,"

minji's mom laughed. "ah, minji's been busy doing her own stuff. by the way how's y/n doing?"

"she's joining the varsity for volleyball, i signed her up and she's getting more training than before. it's a shame really, minji would've been there to watch over my daughter."

minji laughed sheepishly. "y/n's a big girl already, don't worry i'm sure she can handle herself."

"i'm so proud of her! she's been excellent lately, i wish minji would join extra curricular activities, just to boost her qualifications for the future!" you have always been excellent, even before you had minji, even after you lost her — in the end, minji had to say it was her loss, never yours.

she had been distracted a lot after you broke up with her, meanwhile you used that as a motivation to be better than minji — you are just very petty.

she hated and loved that part of you.

so competitive.

"hey minji, visit our place anytime you can alright? we really miss you." your mom smiled at minji and patted her shoulder. "but what about y/n? it's awkward." minji spoke, scratching her nape with an airy laugh.

"don't worry about her! she's just playing hard to get, try harder maybe you can have her back." your mom winked at minji and laughed.

okay, maybe she should?

kim "idiot" minji

hey

hope you don't mind if i visit your place

i'm gonna go get my clothes and things i left

:(((

seen.

you rolled your eyes as soon as you spotted the familiar pair of shoes on the doorway, you entered and saw minji sitting on the sofa with your brother. you ignored them and walked your way to a corridor, then inside your room. minji saw you and stood up.

"hey, i'm just gonna fetch my clothes in your sister's room." minji smiled at your brother, and the younger boy shrugged. "good luck then."

it felt like throwing oneself inside a lion's den, as minji stood in front of your door, she didn't have any idea what she should say — she knows it isn't a great idea, but there are no ideas left, if she'll only be able to claim her things back, or if she'll have your heart — it would be better if comes home with both.

chances are slim of course, her image has been tainted, even with that one mistake — still, you didn't really know if your decision of breaking up with her is for the best; a part of you screamed for her to leave you alone — and the other part wished you could've had more time to get your shit back together.

you don't know whether it's too late, but you had her things already packed in case she comes back looking for them.

you heard a knock and you took deep breaths before stomping your way to the door. you found yourself shaking as you held the cold door knob, not knowing whether it's you or the air inside your room. why is it freezing cold? why are you nervous? you chose this path.

twisting the knob, your eyes met minji's round ones, her thick eyebrows that stood so prominent, catching your attention as it furrowed. minji cleared her throat. "hey, y/n… i'm sorry for barging in. i was just — i'm here to get my things that i left." you nodded at her and opened the door wider for her.

"go on, i already packed them for you." minji nodded and made her way inside. goddamnit, the smell, it hit her that she might not be coming back to this room anymore, the room she had been even before you became her girlfriend, and after everything. it's sad, she spotted her clothes, hoodies, even the notes she left packed in a box.

minji wished you hadn't done that, because first, even if you hated her, you're just way too nice — second because she wished she had more time in your room to get her shit together and think of something, just something to convince you to come back to her.

"what are you waiting for? are you just gonna stand there?" you asked. minji took deep breaths and closed her eyes before turning around to face you. "hey, y/n can we please talk about this more? i know i only came here for my clothes but — bro…" you wanted to laugh, but that'll be too mean.

you rolled your eyes and shrugged. "is there anything else left for us to discuss? i thought you said you're tired of explaining."

minji rubbed her face with her hands and groaned. "i know i did, i'm sorry that's so fucking stupid of me. but please, we were both mad and upset that time, if we were both calm, you know we can discuss it better, right?" minji pleaded, walking towards you, you scoffed — looking away from her.

"you're the only one who thinks that way, minji. and i don't have time in this world to accommodate your stupidity." now you're getting mad again. minji took deep breaths, you looked at her and frowned. "calm down—"

"shut up." you cut her off.

it was silent for at least 5 minutes, you were thinking, twice — if you would listen to her ramblings, give her a chance to redeem herself, you wanted to you just can't accept that you actually want to give her a chance because if you didn't want to, you could've kicked her out already.

you regained your posture. "say what you want to say then, before i get pissed and kick you out, throw your things on the road."

minji nodded. "thanks! i know i lied, i'm sorry, i know it hurt you, sorry for not trusting you because you really did trust me a lot and i broke it. i lied because i know that it was wrong, i was scared you might get mad at me now i learned my lesson! was there another time where i lied to you? if yes — i'm so sorry y/n please forgive me! i'll do anything just to have you back, even if i tell myself that i'm fine without you. i know i'm not! and i admit that it's my loss, that you can live a life the same way, even better without me — but it's the opposite for me."

no, minji has never lied to you other than that time — because you're a very petty person okay? you hold grudges for over a long time, minji knows that, you remember when someone did you wrong; you'll take that to your grave, swearing to never forget. maybe that's why it's serious for you, because she built your trust over the time, you loved her because you know she would never, and she had never lied to you; that time you found out, it didn't make sense because why would she lie?

"i know, you never lied to me other than that time — but that's why i felt that way right? i don't understand why you lied, because you never did before and there is no reason why you should! i can't explain it, because i never imagined you to be that type of a lover, so when reality hit me that if you got the chance again, you'd make me an idiot again. and i wouldn't want that to be my cycle." you had a lot of pride, because in all honesty, you can proudly say you have never lied to her.

minji knows your schedule, you always tell her what you are up to, your plans — when you stay out late, you exactly tell her what for! and when she demands that she takes you home, you allow her.

there's no reason for you to be scared of what clapback minji has; because she has none.

"i can still be your honest lover, i swear! and no promises, but you can always remember what i'm saying right now. i would never lie to you ever again. mark my words, kill me if i do again, i'll let you." you laughed, minji was serious — but you laughed, because you know you will seriously kill her if she does lie again.

"don't worry i will." you scoffed. minji smiled. "i'm sorry, babe?" minji didn't hesitate, you gave her a blank stare as she gave you those puppy eyes. you huffed and turned around, you had your bacm facing her you let her be as she embraced you in a hug, resting her chin your shoulder while gently rocking you.

"i'll get back at you okay? we can study together here for the whole month." minji pouted, you looked at her and shrugged, a blush creeping up on your cheeks. "whatever." minji chuckled and kissed your cheek. "i love you."

you sighed. "hmmm… yeah me too."

at the end of the day, you still love minji, even if she's a huge idiot, sometimes an asshole — you have to admit that you had a burst of emotion that night you broke up with her, you still think it's valid though. but yeah, minji is a good lover, you just hope she doesn't do something stupid ever again.

minji snuggled close to you, holding you with her big hands. you're still putting up a wall though, she's not gonna get the satisfaction of seeing you all over her again for a week or two.

you have to show her who's the boss.

and it's you.

[darklinaforever]

"For Sylki is obvious: toxic, toxic and they're basically the same person"

Is it crazy how people can be so off base ? I don't know in what aspect Sylki, who actually bring out the best in each other is supposed to be toxic… ?!

This word is used so much today without people seeming to understand the definition, that's when same crazy…

Oh and the delusion of Sylki being the same person, is, I already explained, completely false.

The series and the creators have been very clear on this subject, yet people persist in saying the opposite which annoys me deeply.

Here is my post where I dismantle this idea of ​​Sylki being the same person :

In it there is even passages which roughly explains how Sylki is a good relationship :

Then I forgot to specify it in this post, but as much as Sylvie helps Loki to accept and love himself, the opposite is also true with Sylvie who opens up much more to the fact than her basic identity is that of a Loki when they are both facing death in episode 4 (while wondering what it really means to be a Loki). Essentially, she no longer internally denies this part of herself, without ceasing to be the person that she chose to be : Sylvie.

I would like to understand how this relationship is toxic ?! Once again, I'm tired of seeing people use this term loosely, simply because they don't like a fictional relationship. Is the Sylki relationship complicated ? Yes. Undeniably. But complicated doesn’t mean toxic.

It's like people who insist on saying that the Sylki romance is not the center / driving force of the plot… :

"I just wanna talk about the show without seeing 16379490405 posts about how “uwu he loves him/her so much, he/she is his new glorious purpose 🥹”. Like. That is SO NOT the point of the show, guys."

When it is in fact the case, the series shows it the contrary, and the creators confirm it.

Loki is in love with Sylvie and their romantic relationship is the fucking center / driving force of the plot, confirmed again by the creators themselves. The Sylki romance is the heart of the story, whether you like it or not. (Most of the interviews from season 1 and 2 will confirm this. Even if I am of the opinion that in season 2 they actually put this relationship aside, with the character of Sylvie... Probably because negative reviews about it in recent years)

Also... Sylvie was literally compared to Loki's new glorious purpose in season 1, in a fucking dialogue from episode 5, and yet the antis or the neutrals still make fun of the pro-Sylki for daring to say, that indeed, Sylvie was in some way Loki's new glorious purpose. As if films were being made when it was literally in a dialogue from season 1 ?!

I mean, Loki absolutely wants to return to the TVA, and we spectators know that it is to find Sylvie. (The last thing he did before ending up there, was literally trying to confess his feelings to Sylvie...) Much more than bringing down the Time-Keepers... Like he said later, he would go where she goes.

Even though the other Lokis don't know why our Loki want to return to the TVA so badly, when one of them asks if Loki wants to return in it because he left his glorious purpose there... and Loki replies that is something like that... What do you think that means ?!

Loki's glorious purpose in season 1 was simply Sylvie, whether you like it or not. Damn, once again it’s literally in the dialogue ! What ?! You think Loki just wants to return to the TVA to bring down the Time-Keepers and have his own time stream to control ? When Loki says that in truth he has no idea what he will do and that he and Sylvie could figure it out together ?!

This dialogue on Loki's glorious purpose is even essentially paralleled with the suggestion that Sylvie's only good memory is Loki... Personal questions that they are asked in the same episode to which they respond vaguely and to which only the viewer can understand the answer...

But no, I imagine that all these people who think they are more intelligent think that the only good memory of Sylvie is something off-screen never mentioned, and that Loki's glorious purpose is only to play the hero and become king...

Also, I don't see why I should moderate my comments and clarify that all of this is my interpretation to avoid offending people.

They do not hesitate to assert their opinion as the right one in a condescending and or downright rude manner.

I understand that everyone is free to have their opinion on a fictional story, but after a while, that doesn't mean that every opinion is really valid in the canon story, especially when there is nothing to support it. I'm tired of seeing antis and neutrals shaming people who really understand the story being told and its messages.

Because yes, once again whether you like it or not, Sylki is not the same person, incest / autocest / selfcest. Sylki is a romance, which is the very heart of the story of the series, and yes, in season 1, Sylvie was associated with Loki's glorious purpose. All this, I maintain, are facts, and not fucking interpretation.

And probably the thing that annoys me the most is everyone who dares to put their clearly denigrating opinions in the tag dedicated to Sylki, instead of the anti one. Honestly, don't you have anything else to do ?! Do you think you are mature ? Clever ? You are just pathetic.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

hiiiii lu beloved <3 6, 20 + 37 :3!

HIIII ATLAS ILY

6. A song that reminds you of a place you’ve been

ok this is probably weird but I literally have a playlist named after the Anchorage AK airport because I spent a NOT insignificant part of my childhood there (I grew up in AK until I was 16 and most of my extended family is from the Midwest so we flew a LOT when I was a kid). one of the songs I listened to a LOT while sitting at gates under big windows in the middle of the night, waiting for redeye flights, was Run by Addison Road so now I always associate it with ANC and the weird, dreamlike feeling of being there as a kid

20. A song that you’ve listened to on repeat recently

I've had City In A Garden on loop pretty much since my 2ourdust show bc a girl there traded bracelets with me and she have me an "I ❤️ u Chicago" one so every time I see it I get the song stuck in my head and it's SO good like wough I forget how good Lake Effect Kid EP is but it goes SO HARD.

37. A song that helped you through a difficult time in your life

I promise I don't rb music ask games just as an excuse to talk about FOB on main but genuinely Fake Out. all of SM(F)S but especially Fake Out. my brother and sister in law are my best friends, pretty much, and they moved away at the end of last summer and I cannot tell you how many times I listened to Fake Out on loop, laying on the kitchen floor and crying the night before we sent them off. I think if I looked back at my Spotify Wrapped that would probably show up as the day with the most listens lol.

but really... my pinned post over here is "the window was already open" bc the "but" in Fake Out is SO important to me. like I'm such a pessimist by nature, to hear "buried alive inside my dreams, BUT" is so important. bc that's what the inside of my brain is like. everything seems awful and downtrodden and depressing but that ISN'T THE END. there's a but and it's not the truth! my perceptions, my negativity, are not the truth!! there's a but and the window was already open!

[xitty]

Thank you HappyEle and Akira, the fine event made me feel so many things. I'm looking forward to be able to read it thoroughly and think about it more. But for now:

I loved that Tori was even more adamant about the other fine members not to treat him like he's a fragile being who can't hear unpleasant things because it makes him feel like they leave him out. This isn't the first time (look at Primavera for example), but he was really upset this time. But it fueled him to show them. And I loved how he said to Wataru that he wants to be like them because loves them (fine). They've come so far from Flower Fes. <3

And Wataru, oh Wataru. I feel really sad that people turned their backs on him even on theater course. He really was alone and drifting before the War. And then, his thoughts on negative emotions... It's okay to focus on positive things but man, he's bottling them up too much. Stop with the toxic positivity! Let yourself feel them, Wataru. He also wanted to be help Tori grow and even though he ended up adding to Tori's hardship in a way he didn't mean to, it was fine in the end. And it made him face some of those negative emotions but Tori told him he'll be there to listen. Yes, Wataru, Tori and the rest of fine will support you too! I will probably have more thoughts when I read the whole thing. But just... waaah, there were quite many sad things. Wataru, I hope you'll be okay, trust your friends. <3

I also was thinking how this is a second recent event where people tell someone to be NOT like Eichi. Natsume in Altered and Tori in this story. And yeah, it's a solid advice, we don't need Natsume to repeat War or Tori being as willing to throw people under bus for the sake of efficiency (and it's good for him to realize Eichi is also just a flawed human like all of them). But how Eichi said again that he dislikes himself... that made me sad. How everyone, himself included, often focus on his mistakes etc. I know it's hard, but try to love yourself a little more, Eichi. <3

Yuzuru... He had very much a supporting role here but I hope he'll soon get a really good story. They hinted about his family a few times, maybe a story relating to that? He also provided Yuzuru funnies with being a little murderous, haha. Yuzuru is the steady presence they need. Give Yuzuru more love. <3

And all the little fun and sweet things, Wataru eating with Yuzuru and Tori, Eichi writing messages and emails like an old man, Yuzuru eating seafood flavoured ice cream, Eichi assuring Wataru there's nothing besides friendship between him and Amano, Tori and Shinobu talk... and probably more that were not mentioned yet. The first part sure made me, and many others, nervous but part two gave context and wonderful things, even if some of them were sad. Sometimes life is sad. But they have each other, they tell that to each other again and again, so guys, please remember that.

[cerenemuxse]

So i finally watched BWBA (Season 24)

My very useless review of BWBA Season 24

Please make your own opinions. Don't be like me (way before this) and base yours off of everyone's else. That's why I put useless, because it is if you hadn't made your own.

Surprisingly, this season was in plain sight, as well as other T&F seasons.

Emily's Best Friend

I hated it. I still hate. Sorry, but the 2-12 interaction could not save it. I still love that moment though. To me, Emily is OOC.

Thomas' Fuzzy Friend

Wholesome filler episode with a ref to Thomas the Babysitter, which is one of my all-time favorites. I love it.

The Great Little Engine Show

Eh- i like the mention of the model engines. Don't have anything against it but it doesn't stick out. .3.

Thomas and the Forest Engines

I like it. :D I like the storyline about why certain engines are allocated to certain places.

Emily to the Rescue

Peak Emily moment. I love it but why did it take so long for her to get her number??? 😭 Oh, well. I still love it.

I love that bring out her caring aspect. It's like her intro episode. (I finally watched it and MAN, i wish I got that Emily growing up 😭 she just came off as a bossy big sister /neg)

Shankar's Makeover

Shankar's like me. /srs I like this episode for addressing situations like this. Stage fright, not wanting attention, and being someone who keeps to themself. Nice episode.

Nia and the Unfriendly Elephant

The references are nice. I love Nia's love for animals and her assignment to the park. Before, her job wasn't permanent. Also, Belle is here. I love her. I love them. I like it. :]

Until I watch all of Nia's episodes, I won't be commenting on how she supposedly repeats learning things from Kenya all the damn time.

However, I do have a problem with the argument being made. It feels like it dimisses that different cultures interact like this most of the time, bringing up the ways they handle certain situations. From my expierence, i hear where these differences come from all the time, even if I know the person well enough.

I just don't see the problem with Nia bringing up how things different are between her old home and Sodor. It feels relatable, despite the fact that I'm Hispanic (Mexican), and it makes sense.

James the Super Engine

I ADORE THIS EPISODE. I've talked about it before but in short, I love how James is portrayed. Could've EASILY written him as a hero who gave up and didn't bother checking up on Rebecca when she yelled for help. But no, they went the right way. James IS caring but considering the environment he's had to work in for so many years, you can see why he doesn't show it. But here, HE DOES.

And when he realizes that Rebecca is in trouble? Its his normal voice, whereas before, it was his superhero voice.

My honest reaction whenever i watch it:

Thomas' Not-So-Lucky Day

Eh- I think the lesson is pretty good about getting those good things by thinking positively and working towards them instead of letting luck be the decision maker.

Ace's Brave Jump

I dont care.

Nia's Bright Idea

W Nia for being resourceful and bringing things together. I like it.

Cleo's First Snow

I like it.

Sonny's Second Chance

I like it.

Thomas and the Inventor's Workshop

I dont care for Ruth but I like it. Its decent.

The Inventor's Bridge

That bridge is going to fall over but there's probably physics that I don't understand that makes it make sense. At the end though, i could care less.

Yong Bao and the Tiger

I've seen it before.

I initially didn't like it due to the dynamics of the story. Like why is a massive engine like Yong Bao shunting in the yard?

However, i like it more now. I can dismiss the dynamic.

Gordon and Rebecca, Coming Through!

I've talked about it before. Its confusing, especially with its placement. Would've worked better as the episode following 'Confusion Without Delay".

Despite this, i like their dynamic.

Gordon's behavior is tiresome. I usually ignore it but i've seen enough of CGI TTTE that im getting sick and tired out of it. I've heard that his character growth was forgotten but i havent seen enough to have a say.

Kenji on the Rails

Mixed feelings on this one because Hiro's leaving. :( Stop writing off my favorite characters.

In my second, I noticed Hiro's "konnichiwa" and got thrown off completely. Odd how they're JUST now bringing out Hiro's first language. I don't remember seeing this brought out before BWBA.

Not really a review because of that. I'm sour about it.

Cleo the Road Engine

Ah, the intro episode. I thought it was in season 23. Its just Thomas and Bertie rewritten but Cleo is avoiding her jobs. No, it somehow didn't destroy my liking to her.

Thomas' Animal Friends

I think its cute but Thomas would've straight up ignored Gordon.

Overall impression: Not as shitty as its made to be. It has its good moments and bad moments.

I'm so glad that I wasn't bombarded with fantasy sequences with this one. Those are just plain ridiculous, for the most part. In some episodes, it fits like James the Super Engine and Thomas' Animal Friends. The one in Emily's Best Friend made me cringe but I enjoyed it because its Edwad and Emily.

Listen, I'm desperate for 2-12 content, man, and I've been ignoring model era for a good while because I just dont want to.

Uh, that's it.

[fireemblems24]

You don't need to respond to this right away since this is a bit of discourse. When Jeralt dies and the lord look out for Byleth they all have their differents ways to comfort Byleth (except probably Claude), a lot of people in the fandom agrees that all of their ways are due to their experiencies with grief but a common complain that I have seen with Dimitri is that he makes it about himself when he opens up to you, what do you thing?

There's some hot tea down towards the bottom, fyi.

When I first came across this ask, I was really confused where on earth this idea even came from.

What I remembered from Dimitri's response to Jeralt's death was a cathartic "someone finally cares!" His response was so powerful to me (especially having just experienced Edelgard's and Claude's) that it actually caused me to feel anything for Byleth for the first time and led me down the path to trying to understand and appreciate his/her character rather than just writing them off without a chance because "self-insert."

It hit me personally too. As someone who's struggled a lot in the past about refraining from showing emotions and internalizing that crying is weak, hearing the opposite put so bluntly really reached me on a personal level too.

So I had to rewatch the scene. And I still didn't get it. So I asked my Fire Emblem playing friends what on earth you were talking about. Apparently it's Dimitri bringing up that he lost his parents? That line, to me, seemed less like "me, me, me" and more "I can understand on some level, because I've been through something similar too." When my dog died not too long ago, when others shared their stories about losing pets my first thought definitely wasn't "wow, way to make it all about yourself," but "you've experienced this too, so I'm not alone." Especially since Dimitri follows it up with, "and this is what helped me out." and "if you need some time off, I can cover for you." It sounds more like advice and empathy and less like self-centeredness.

Alright here's the promised tea. Bolded for anyone who wants to skip.

You want the tea about what I really think? I think a lot of people responded to Edelgard's and Claude's reactions the same way I did - negatively. I think they both got criticized, and Dimitri didn't. So someone came up with "he made it about himself" and everyone who doesn't like Dimitri or is really far into a different lord's "team" now parrots that to make things more "even" in fandom discourse. I'd also be willing to bet that if those same people lost their job, and someone else said, "I did too, [insert quick story], here's what helped me deal, I can help you on your resume, if you want" would never say "way to make it all about you."

I could be wrong. But is this repeated a lot whenever this Jeralt stuff comes up? Because, in the past in fandom, whenever there's a hot take like this that's repeated ad nauseam, it's usually something like what I said above.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Let's Analyze - Alec in CoFA

So, I’ve been seeing plenty of discourse on two of my mutual’s blogs about this topic… so I thought I’d sit down and write another analysis post about my beloved Alec Lightwood cause people are still giving him shit for a book that came out ten years ago 🤦‍♀️

This is gonna be in two parts, and I'm putting both under the cut:

PART 1 - ALEC’S INSECURITIES 

So, the first part - how Alec’s insecurities drove him to saying stupid things in CoFA

A quick disclaimer - I’m NOT blaming Alec alone for his and Magnus’s break up. What happened was pretty complicated, and the blame cannot be put on one person alone. 

That said, let’s start with Magnus and Alec’s early ‘official’ relationship, in trsom.

These scenes are taken from only the first part of the book, but I’m pretty sure they’re more than enough to get a sense of Alec’s insecurities and all the chinks in their relationship. Throughout the entirety of trsom, we see more bits and pieces of Alec’s insecurities about Magnus’s sexuality, and his past and all the people he might have known - and that’s okay! Insecurities happen, cause brains are stupid like that.

But all of Alec’s insecurities could’ve been laid to rest with a simple conversation. But the conversation never happens. Magnus tends to deflect and change the topic every single time his past is brought up. I understand Magnus’s reasons for hiding his past, of course, but it doesn’t help his relationship with Alec. Magnus hiding a good chunk of his past will inevitably lead to Alec questioning himself - why is he so secretive? Why is he not telling me anything? Does he not trust me? ...and so on.

And when Alec is already feeling insecure in this relationship, this happens - (sorry about the terrible cropping btw)

And then later, while Magnus is talking to Camille,

Now… when people are insecure about something, they get irked at the smallest of things. I’m saying this as an insecure person myself. So now, you've got Alec, who's insecure as fuck, and his vacation with the person he loves got cut short by his ex who refuses to talk to anyone but him, and when they get there, his lover and his lover's ex seem to have obvious chemistry, he gets hit with the reality that his lover has dated several, probably even hundreds of people before him; and he has to leave them alone in a room so they can talk, and then he hears the ex basically just list all his shortcomings - i.e, his mortality, his appearance is compared to some random dead guy (sorry, Will) whom your lover had a crush on, which is just weird, and when you've had enough and open the door, it's to see your lover and his ex, standing close as fuck, and he's! touching! her! face! and! looking! into! her! eyes!

*takes a sip of water* yeahhhh... Alec was straight up having a bad day.

And at this point, a) Alec is still in his first relationship. He didn't get to navigate romance when he was younger, and while there's nothing wrong with that, there weren't exactly cutesy presentations titled 'how to keep your relationships healthy' floating around the internet. Heck, he didn’t know the internet. He didn't know that he had to communicate with Magnus, and it doesn't help that boy avoids conversations about feelings like the plague. And b) at this point, Alec would be facing several negative emotions - insecurity, obviously. Hurt. Helplessness, because of his mortality. Fear, that he might not live up to Magnus’s past lovers. Jealousy at seeing Magnus and Camille so close.

Negative emotions like these often tend to show up as anger or sorrow... and in Alec’s case, that would be anger. Which leads us to THIS- (🙈)

*sighs in second-hand embarrassment*

*drinks more water*

*this is gonna be so hard aksjakak*

So. Alec dealt with his insecurities... by being a mean, mean bitch to Magnus :/

Let's break this scene down, slowly, bit by bit.

First, Alec cuts into a conversation between Magnus and Jordan, when Magnus mentions Woolsey Scott, followed the rest of that particular page. To Alec, he's just a figure from Magnus’s past, and a possible lover, though in Alec’s defense Woolsey Scott WAS Magnus’s lover. This is the first instance that we see in which Alec lashes out at Magnus. It seems like he's trying to make a point to Magnus - "I don't know anything about your past, and so I don't know who you've had romances with, but I want to know." Except he makes his point in the worst way possible and ends up slutshaming Magnus.

The "What's true?" line, in response to Jordan saying "so it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" is pretty obvious. Alec is clearly not liking the idea that this random werewolf might know about warlocks, and in particular, his Warlock boyfriend.

Next... ooh boy... Alec basically snaps and in the next few paragraphs accuses Magnus of wanting to flirt with others which... is not a good look on ya honey 😕. These lines are the ones that get him accused of being biphobic... but is he really? I'm gonna talk about that in part 2.

So, in the first paragraph, where Alec makes the comments about Jordan, I find his choice of words pretty... interesting, seeing as 'messy-haired', 'broad-shouldered' and 'chiseled-good-looks' are all used to describe Alec in the series. Not sure if its relevant, but definitely interesting.

And in the next one, where Alec says, "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" The 'apparently' makes me curious. In rsom, Alec mentions that he's only recently heard of the term bisexual, and there's plenty of time between rsom and cofa, so Alec should be absolutely sure of atleast the basic meaning of bisexuality. But I'm pretty sure it's just inconsistency on cc's part, since if rsom didn't exist, this book would be the first time Alec learns about Magnus’s bisexuality. (Which is obvious when you look at the scene after Magnus reveals that Camille is his girlfriend.) And as for the second sentence, I feel like it's a fallback to earlier in the book when Magnus says (I'm just gonna write the dialogue from memory), "I've dated men, women, warlocks, faeries, vampires, werewolves and even a djinn or two." Here, Alec is angry, and he takes the knowledge that Magnus has dated a variety of people and once again, lashes out.

Looking at all of it together, Alec’s insecurities are definitely a factor in all of this. We know Alec has pretty low self esteem in tmi, and he keeps having irrational thoughts about someone else grabbing Magnus’s attention, like in the trsom scene I've posted above. And he ends up taking out his insecurities on Magnus.

Was it wrong of Alec to say all those things to Magnus? Yes, absolutely. But looking back through all his scenes in cofa, it's easy to see how he could've fallen into the pit trap of emotions.

And before anyone says "but it wasn't addressed in the later books", it was, in CoLS. I’ve hit the image limit, so I'm just gonna type it out -

"[Magnus] said it would be better if he didn’t come. Apparently him and the Seelie Queen have some kind of history."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows.

"Not that kind of history," Alec said irritably. "Some kind of feud. Though," he added, half under his breath, "the way he got around before me, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Alec!" Isabelle dropped back to talk to her brother....

So, there. Alec makes yet another slutshaming comment, Isabelle overhears and is clearly not happy about it, and it's clearly implied that she talks to Alec about it. And Alec doesn't make any more slutshaming comments since then. Boy now knows what he did was wrong, and makes sure not to repeat it again.

Although, I do wish we had more than this. I wish we had more of Magnus and Alec talking about this argument, heck, even about all their arguments and the reasons they broke up, but you can't get everything you want, apparently :(

And now onto the next part...

PART 2 - IS ALEC BIPHOBIC?

The short answer, uh, no, not really.

The long answer.... would be complicated.

So, back in the day, when this discourse was at an all time high, I remember reading a bisexual person's essay about this topic, and they said that this comment from Alec - "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" - would be a biphobic microagression.

According to Google, a microagression is "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority".

And in Alec's case, IF his words were biphobic, they were completely unintentional. They were microagressive. Which is... still bad, of course, but it's more complicated than that.

If you look back on Alec's supposedly biphobic statements, they're more about Magnus’s hypersexuality and promiscuity than anything else. Yes, even the line i mentioned like two paragraphs ago. At first glance it may seem like a direct attack on Magnus’s sexuality, but think over the explanation I gave for the line and it will make sense. And a lot of people know that the whole 'bi people fuck around a lot and are cheaters' thing is a stereotype.

Now, it may seem like I'm going off topic here, but bear with me. I couple of days ago, I watched this video by chance. (Tw for the aids crisis and lots of biphobia, not from the narrator, if you wanna watch the video). Basically, back in the 1980s, bisexual men were scapegoated for spreading aids to the straight community and were vilified by popular media as being promiscuous scepters who would cheat on their wives with gay men and then give aids to their wives. (Yikes 😬). And since bisexuality was practically unheard of before all this (several bisexual activists have stated that all this shit, though unfortunate, pulled bisexuality out of the closet), it's safe to assume that this is how those stereotypes came to be - through 1980s propaganda.

But living with this propaganda is... a very limiting experience. The people who leaned and unlearned and fought against this propaganda are mostly US Americans who grew up with it, either the actual propaganda itself or passed down by their parents. But like I said, it's a very limiting experience. US is but one country out of many, and even for those living in the USA there's a chance that they grew up in a very hush-hush environment. People who grew up hearing all these stereotypes will see it as biphobia, while people who didn't - like Alec, and me, and several other people will not. A lot of people grow up with absolutely no knowledge of the queer community, and chances are that they'll be incredibly confused when a stereotype is pointed out to them, and they often get no more explanation than 'this is a harmful stereotype'. Queer experiences aren't the same for everyone, and while I respect the people who see this as biphobia, they should recognize that there are many people who won't see it that way.

I have seen bisexual people say that Alec's words were biphobic, and I've also seen bisexual people say that they weren't. Thus, there is no clear consensus about whether or not Alec was being biphobic. And like I said earlier, Alec grew up far, far away from mundane anti-queer bigotry. He was essentially a clean slate when it came to knowledge of eer microagressions of any kind, because microagressions and stereotypes are often incredibly specific, don't have anything to do with a person's race/sexuality/gender, etc. and will make zero sense unless you know the history behind them. To Magnus, who lived through the anti-bisexual scapegoating, the words would've definitely stung, but Alec didn't even know the implications he would be making with this words! Of course, the impact is greater than intention, and I imagine Magnus would sit Alec down one day and talk about all this history with him.

And idk if I can even blame cc cause the history of bisexual men is RARELY ever talked about, atleast on the internet.

Also, this scene in cofa is the only instance where he can be interpreted to be biphobic. Nowhere else in all of tmi, and even tec, do we see Alec express hatred or disgust or microagression towards bisexual people. If this was seen in a repeating pattern from Alec, one could argue that he's biphobic... but he isn't. Some might point to some of his internal thoughts in trsom to argue otherwise, but I believe that actions are superior than thoughts.

There's also the thing about unlearning prejudices, but in Alec's case there was hardly anything to be unlearned. The only prejudices he did pick up on were against himself, through vague homophobic comments from Robert.

P.S if you've read this far, I am legally entitled to compensation for thinking of cofa Alec for 48 hours. Put your favorite Alec moments in my askbox cause I wanna focus on his good side now. 😎

But yeah, the main thing here is that Alec has grown from his mistakes, apologized, and hasn't repeated this behavior at all.

And lastly, I just wanted to add - I don't think all this was unintentional on the author's part. She's grown up with the us American queer community, and has mentioned that she has bisexual friends, who have no doubt faced prejudices because of these stereotypes. I think she was trying to condemn making such statements, but a lot of people don't read between the lines and end up misinterpreting it and make both the character and her to be biphobic.

So... TLDR; was what Alec said biphobic? Maybe. It depends on who you're talking to. Is Alec, as a person, biphobic? Nope. Not at all. 😌

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[sonic-nyoom]

My Definitive Opinion on Sonic Boom

I noticed that most of my Sonic Boom opinions were spread out amongst multiple posts, so I thought it would be best to have one big post to direct everyone to for all my thoughts. I’ve had plenty of time for all of them to sink in and, while they’re mostly negative (precautionary warning there), it’s not likely to change anytime soon. If you disagree, that’s fine, but this is just how I feel.

To keep things nice and organized, I’ve separated everything into very broad categories so I can go into each one without getting sidetracked and lingering on multiple topics forever.

Starting with...

The Plots

An obvious place to start, the plots in Sonic Boom are very basic. That’s not a bad thing, but it becomes a problem when the show goes on for, say, more than one season, because it means either sticking to very cliche plots, or trying to be creative and failing due to having to force it.

Even sadder is when the plots are predictable. In all the times I’ve talked about Sonic Boom episodes that I haven’t liked or have downright hated, the word ‘’predictable’’ came up a lot, because it’s a killer of storytelling for me unless I’m excitedly anticipating that thing happening, which was very rare in this show.

As an example for killing any and all expectations I had for an episode, Designated Heroes. The very second that Sonic laughs at his friends (whether he has a reason to or not), I could anticipate the entire rest of the episode. Obviously Eggman isn’t going to show up, obviously Sonic is going to fall asleep, and obviously the rest of the disloyal crew are going to come by and rub it in his face despite the fact that they were so sure they could beat Eggman before too. Even if I had believed with 100% certainty that Sonic deserved punishment for what he did, that is ruined when such an obvious plot point is thrown my way. To make a simpler comparison, I go on rollercoasters for the excitement of the twists and turns, not to ride for eleven minutes in a straight line because the person who made it got lazy and decided that it was passable enough to be called a rollercoaster. Sure, it functions, but it’s not stimulating in any way.

On another note, while I would like to say that the best plots to come out of Sonic Boom were the interesting ones, honestly, it was almost completely random which ones I found fun. I even tried to calculate if it was the writers or maybe the characters used by the writers, but it really just came down to the episode itself. The only consistent thing I noticed was that episodes that tried to inject some heart (The Sidekick and New Year’s Retribution) while still being funny had the best chance of sticking with me. Unfortunately, Sonic Boom has very few of these. Most episodes center around the comedy alone, and while that’s enough for some people, it’s not enough for me because it just leaves the show as very one note. The only episodes I can think of that I find very memorable while still being one note are Battle of the Boy Bands, The Meteor, and Eggheads, but all of those did fairly crazy things and had a fun time with it.

And if you just want to talk about canon? Look, I get that the show shouldn’t have to explain everything. I understand that. But, when I see Sticks suddenly having a crossbow or Sonic riding in his fancy new vehicle with no introduction and no explanation, I just have to roll my eyes. If the writers don’t care about what they introduce into their world and if it makes sense or not, then why should I?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Sonic Boom is not meant for someone like me. While I do indeed watch comedies, I prefer to have at least some substance there, and doing anything less than that makes me turn away because it means that the show is doing the bare minimum. Essentially, I’m saying that Sonic Boom only does what it has to, sometimes goes the extra mile, but mostly just sticks to the one thing. And, if that one thing fails in my eyes, then there’s no reason for me to keep watching the episode because I know there won’t be anything else to look forward to. To give an example, even if The Sidekick had failed completely at making me laugh, I would at least still watch it for the dynamic between Sonic and Tails. There’s something else there even if one element failed.

The Comedy

Probably the most divisive thing I’ve noticed being talked about when referring to specific episodes, the comedy in Sonic Boom is extremely hit-or-miss for me, and part of the reason is that most of the characters cover a very short range of comedic angles. Because most of them are widely stereotypes with few new things, it often means that they only cover one type of joke. That’s not always bad, but after a while, it can start feeling boring.

The characters who avert the trope of being one note for me are Sonic, Eggman, and Amy. Though, on the flip side of only covering one kind of joke, I think Amy covers too many, and it becomes cluttered.

Eggman is a mixed bag, either making me laugh a lot or not making me laugh at all. I’ll talk more on it later, but sometimes, he was just too much and it ruined the jokes for me.

Sonic is the only one in the show who could make me laugh consistently, and it only partly has to do with how much I enjoy his character. He just covers a range of comedy without being too much (typically the straight man, pun boy, and general fun guy) while also playing off the other characters in varying ways depending on the situation.

The Characters

What you see is what you get. The characters in Sonic Boom are basically all stereotypes, barring a few exceptions.

The characters I enjoy watching in Sonic Boom out of the main cast are Sonic, Eggman (sometimes), Orbot, and Cubot. Orbot and Cubot mix up their personalities enough to keep me invested in their characters. They occasionally seem to care about Eggman, but aren’t against making fun of him, which makes sense because he orders them around like they’re nothing. And, when he’s doing that, I can’t really get invested in his character. The moments where he’s relatable/awkward are more my thing.

I’d talk about the rest of Sonic’s crew here individually, but there’s really no point, because they all cater to one stereotype, as opposed to Amy who caters to multiple (doesn’t help, by the way, in my opinion).

Let me make it clear; there were moments where I liked these characters. There were times where I laughed at one of their jokes or gave them some slack for something they did. On a few occasions, they actually stepped out of their boundaries and did something slightly different.

The problem, however, is that these characters are still stereotypes. They exist to follow their small range of humor and fit into exactly what you expect them to. It is not to pleasant degrees.

To delve into just one of them, I’ll pick Knuckles, because he’s my least favorite out of the entire bunch.

I have no problem with Knuckles being stupid. It was a sensible leap from the original character. My problem is when he’s forgetful, because that is not stupidity. Even stupid people can remember things that are important to them. If Knuckles was commonly forgetful - as in, that was one of his character traits - I wouldn’t complain, but it makes him very irritating. Why should I care when he’s trying to be good friends with Sonic if I know that he could turn at any time and forget Sonic’s name or even who Sonic is?

No matter how the characters change - no matter how they try to be developed - it will not carry over into other episodes unless the episode is a sequel to the episode where the development took place. Now, that’s not entirely a bad thing, but only if the characters are interesting from the get-go. Unfortunately, these four are not.

Now for the big question: what makes Sonic so different from the other characters that I actually like him?

Firstly, keep in mind that while, yes, I’ve typically favored Sonic in the past, there have also been Sonic that I don’t like. Satam!Sonic and Adventures!Sonic have both been Sonic I haven’t enjoyed watching.

And, there have been things with Boom!Sonic that I haven’t been 100% okay with. However, I could only count these moments on one hand and I don’t expect Sonic to be perfect.

One reason I enjoy Boom!Sonic is that he doesn’t completely follow a stereotype. The closest stereotype for him is the ego stereotype, but he mixes it up with his love of puns, his straight man routine, and his rare silly antics. Also, he’s not a jerk, as most ego characters are. He’s usually a pretty good guy.

Now, what about the times where he isn’t, however rare they are? Well, that brings me into my next reason.

Depending on how a character is treated by the other characters, I tend to give them slack on things they do. If Sonic is being treated poorly by everyone around him, I’ll naturally be more understanding if he’s acting in a way that isn’t perfect, because he’s not being treated fairly anyway. Or, if the writing is being unfair to him or shifting things against his favor, I’ll be more forgiving if he does anything ‘’wrong’’. Using Late Fees this time as my example, I don’t care that Sonic is procrastinating on getting Amy’s book back to the library because one, obstacles are put in his way before he’s even done anything wrong, and two, Amy has forced this task upon him without warning instead of returning the book herself like she should.

And, I also can excuse Sonic because he clearly isn’t used to friendship. He’s been a loner and not open to having friends; of course he’s not going to have social interaction with them correctly. He also doesn’t know the cores of friendship (though he has many good traits of being a great friend), so if he’s being treated wrongly, he doesn’t really know that he is and, during the few times he does something wrong, he might not even know that it’s wrong in the first place (I’m sure sometimes he does, but on occasion, he’ll give a look or response that seems to suggest that he doesn’t understand), because he was alone before. He hasn’t had any experience and obviously can’t improve if no one tells him what he’s doing wrong.

Which brings me to my final point...

The Treatment

Throughout most of my time watching Sonic Boom, regardless of how much of a fan I could say I was, there was a lingering feeling that started at around Episode 15 (Aim Low) and then continued as I kept watching the series.

A feeling of unpleasantness.

Looking at it purely from Sonic’s perspective, this is not a group of friends that I want to have. This is not a friendship that I want. They change sides on him without warning, simply to follow the narrative. He deserves better.

I’d like to shrug my shoulders and just pass episodes off when they do such things, but I can’t. I can’t settle with the knowledge that Sonic could have a good relationship with his ‘’friends’’ in one episode, but have it change with no warning in another.

Characters should not have to work around the story. The story should have to work around the characters. If that can’t be accomplished, then the story means nothing and is only a fruitless attempt to make a plot with characters who don’t fit.

And I know that there are episodes that are not meant to be taken seriously. Technically speaking, none of the episodes are meant to be taken seriously.

What does that really mean? From that standpoint, all of the characters mean nothing. They’re there only to serve the comedy, and I’m sorry, but I think that’s a really lousy way to treat characters. It’s also a huge factor on why I tend to laugh less than the average person does at this show. If I’m not attached to a character, I’m a lot less likely to find them funny, and most of the characters in this show change whims in the blink of an eye.

See, I can’t let go of these episodes because they are canon. Unless stated otherwise, every episode is canon to the character’s personality and story.

Take ‘’Alone Again, Unnaturally’’ as an example. In this episode, Sonic’s crew are trying to help him go faster and come up with crazy schemes that Sonic is understandably unsure about. They don’t put his safety first, opting for their own and blatantly ignoring him when he tells them to wait.

Now, obviously, this was done for comedy. You’re supposed to laugh at Sonic’s screaming and pain.

I don’t, so let’s take that into consideration. What changes in this story if I did find it funny?

Nothing. Whether I laughed or not, the plot remains the same. What the characters do to each other remains the same. These pieces of the story are incapable of magically disappearing. They happened, no matter how much you laughed or didn’t laugh and regardless of if it was intended for comedy or not.

And moments like that impact my view of the characters as a whole. Even if they acted like saints in a future episode, that doesn’t change the fact that they did what they did and weren’t even sorry.

When they made Sonic feel so bad that he went to Eggman for help? Not sorry.

When he nearly drowned because they forced him to go into the water? Not one apology.

When he finally got so upset at everyone’s lack of respect for him that he quit, only returning because of a twisted strategy concocted by someone who was supposed to be his friend, meaning they knew he’d be too nice to not help? Not. One. Bit.

Of course it bothers me when the villagers are rude and saying bad things towards Sonic when he does nothing wrong, but I can usually pass it off because the villagers are supposed to be a mob. They’re meant to be wild cards, capable of doing whatever the writer needs at that moment.

The actual main characters should not be that. They should never be that, at least for me.

Whenever there’s a hint of sympathy between the characters, it can all be thrown to the wayside immediately for another scene or another piece of dialogue that really makes it seem like no one cares what happens to Sonic. Any potential with these characters that I would legitimately love to see get developed is left and forgotten just to revel in how stupid one is or how crazy another is, or even to have a subjectively tasteless Sonamy joke that honestly means nothing and only exists to pander to fans and bring in more viewers. The double standard that one character can do something without judgment but Sonic cannot do the same without someone judging him will never go away. Nothing matters.

The villagers, and even Sonic’s crew, don’t want him because they like his personality or enjoy having him around. It’s because he’s useful, and anything that he does that goes against that is either irrelevant or annoying to them.

There is a way to give a character an ego and not make it seem like everyone constantly wants to strangle them. In fact, the Archie comic series already did it.

But the stuff going on in Boom? It won’t change. It’ll never change. It’s honestly not even limited to just Sonic, but he is the prime example. If anything ever happens down the line that changes that, I will gladly take my words back, but I just don’t see it happening.

Unless you’re not supposed to feel anything for the characters (as in, they’re all meant to be complete jerks with no redeeming value), I don’t think any show should ever have to stoop to singling a character out and neglecting them when they don’t deserve it. In my opinion, doing so is a disservice to both the characters and the world created around them.

And that is how I feel about Sonic Boom.

[otterskin]

Thoughts on Loki Episode 4

I have been pretty positive about the series so far, with a few reservations. But this episode...oh no this episode.

I don't want to put negativity on people's dashes and I assure you I am still reserving judgement for the final episode and then T-Minus 1 week to think about it but...oh noooooooooooo....

There were many enjoyable ideas and scenes, but it all hung under the shadow of the...you know what it is. The...why. Why why why...

I'm just trying to...are they...they are. Aren't they? I mean that's...I mean I'm sure Reddit is having a field day, but I'm having a bad one.

It's a pet peeve of mine that 'romance' with a woman fixes a man. I don't think that's a healthy message to send and I've been glad to see more modern stories do away with it.

"Oh, but Otterskin!" I hear you say. "What about THOR? You love that movie. Doesn't that do it?"

I don't think it did. Thor's mostly on a journey of self-awareness. His empathy for Jane having her life's work stolen by SHIELD (a government with no oversight doing as it likes) does help him tap into a better understanding of what it's like to be powerless and therefore understand what a crashing bore he'd been. But at no point is she his goal, or his motivation. He spends plenty of scenes talking to Selvig as well and has similar epiphanies. And finally, the scene that precipitated his biggest shift in perspective was Loki's Lie when he was captured - the one about Odin being dead and it being his fault. That was what really got him reeling and changing, not romance.

As for this...I...Jane is at least not a weird quasi-twin-sibling. Like...this is not what it means to love yourself. Dear god. Dear...god. What do they want me as the audience to feel about this? Am I meant to cheer it? Am I meant to make crass jokes? Am I meant to laugh at what a narcissist Loki is? What did you want me to feel, writers, director, etc? Because 'nauseous' is the likely outcome of that twisted idea but it's probably not what you should be hitching the whole emotional arc of the show to.

And don't get me started on the overuse of the word narcissist. I know it's overused IRL to a point of personal irritation, but a narcissist is someone incapable of self-reflection, empathy, self-recrimination or awareness - that's just colloquial, mind, not the actual disorder which I am not qualified to diagnose. To say Loki is such a raging narcissist that he could only romantically love himself is just...wrong. And I'm tired of that word being applied willy-nilly. To be clear, I love a lot of characters that definitely can be called narcissists, so I don't object on that score. But to call Loki one just doesn't sit right with me. He doesn't belong in those ranks and to make such a joke out of it is disturbing.

Finally, putting all that to the side - and it is a big thing, a potentially series-ruining thing for me - there's the technical problems that have been piling up for awhile now.

The writing often has very good ideas (I loved the Sif time-loop). But too often, scenes meander, go nowhere, and do only one thing and that thing is usually repeated exposition. Scenes are supposed to be doing at minimum a few things at a time (see Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl for a great screenwriting lesson on that), but so many just go on and on accomplishing very little. And this from someone who lives for long conversations in fiction without break! (But The Two Popes this is not.) On top of that, the dialogue is just clunky, half-baked and lacking nuance. The hand-holding I sensed in episode 1 has been cranked up to 9, nearly as bad as latter-season WandaVision. I'm not allowed to interpret, to think, to wonder. Everything is spoonfed in the most obvious and dictated dialogue that can be conceived. It's all very...amateurish. Say what you will about Branagh and Waititi (I personally have very good things to say about both, they were directors I admired a lot before they were ever attached to Thor), but they edited their work very carefully and infused a lot of personal flavour into it. That refinement is what's missing here, although there is at least still a fair amount of passion.

And Mobius...what did they do to you, new favourite character? I did love the scene with Ravonna, it's probably the best in the episode. But everything else was just rushed. I did appreciate his anger and his desire to control and punish in retaliation made even more explicit, but then he heel-turns so quickly afterward that it jars. They failed to show us his process to change and once again just told us instead of putting in the work and convincing us. You can blame lack of time in this 6 episode run, but many movies sell an arc like that in far less.

There are many good things. I still really liked episodes 1&2 and mostly 3, though the writing problems really started rearing their heads there. I don't want to be a toxic person. I promise this won't be one of many angry posts, I just needed to get it out of my system. I welcome responses to this that disagree. I'll still do a ton of meta about some interesting background things.

I still have hope for the rest of the series. I really do. There's a lot of good here, even if I feel like this one very, very sour note might've made me incapable of appreciating them.

I honestly feel like I'm back in the theatre watching The Dark World for the first time again. Which was not a good evening for me. Except now it's gonna be a whole week and maybe longer. But maybe, maybe they can still pull out of this nose-dive. Maybe they can say it's not a romance, that's just another twisted thing Mobius threw in Loki's face to manipulate and shame him. Maybe Loki really does feel a special bond to Sylvie that is not romantic but something else. But if that's what they're going for, they did a terrible job of framing it in this episode.

Thanks for letting me rant.

P.S. I hope they go somewhere interesting with that Elmo spoiler Gif above.

[the-laridian]

OTP questions, 8 for Rowan and Max please

I remembered the name of an old TV show and thus our good buddy M. Callahan is in here too. Name of the fic is as close as I could make it match with coffee. Also this is the first time I have written a coffee shop AU that was longer than 75 words. Rowan & Martin's Latte-In "I don't think this is going to work," Martin droned. "It... probably will," Rowan said. "If we don't get some sales, we don't get tips, we're out of a job - " "I hate your pep talks," Martin said. He adjusted his mascot head. "How do I look?" "Like the walking embodiment of our corporate mascot," Rowan said, and it was true. He didn't know why Martin was assigned to mascot duty; Martin's delivery tended to scare people off. "Good luck."

Whether Martin was bringing in customers, Rowan didn't know; people bought Moonbrew coffees no matter what, because it was everywhere and standardized. Like McDonalds, Rowan thought, with the coffee as mass produced as anything else, given the meaningless label "gourmet" and - damn, he'd better pay more attention. At least he wasn't the only one behind the counter. The morning rush slowed, Martin was still out there, and Rowan, Ellie and Parvati got a chance to clean and catch their breath. "I'm goin' out for a smoke break," Ellie announced. "See, if you guys smoked, you could get extra breaks too." "That's not how it works," Parvati said, wiping down the counter. "Why d'you think Martin likes that mascot job? It's so he doesn't have to work in here. Even if the suit smells like someone peed in it." Ellie went out the back door. "Rowan, can you handle register for a while? That one Karen - " "Yeah, sure. Go take a break if you want. It's quiet, I can handle things, or I'll scream if I need one of you," Rowan said, and tried to smile. "Thanks," she smiled back. "Oh, hey, it's your regular!" she chirped, in a way that sounded very staged. "I'll be back in two shakes of a cat's tail!" "That's not - forget it," Rowan muttered as Parvati also went out the back door. His regular? The only person coming in the shop was that administrator guy from the college. "Welcome to Moonbrew," Rowan began, "where every flavor - " "Yes, yes, you don't have to repeat it," the customer said. "Cafe Americano, two shots." That's right, Max. Maximum caffeine, zero sugar. "Anything else, sir?" "What do you recommend from those?" Max pointed at the display of pastries and other baked goods. "Uh... well, they're all trucked in, none of them are made on site." Why was he even saying this? "But - " Max didn't have sweet coffee drinks, might not want a sweet pastry? "If you want something that's actually good for eating, like to save for lunch? I'd go with the eggs and cheese box lunch. The hot ham and swiss is good, but if you have to wait, the box lunch is better." "The box lunch, please." "Yessir." Rowan wrote "MAX" on the drink even though nobody else was here. (What were Ellie and Parvati doing, anyway? Girl talk?) Rang up the customer's total, "Here you go." "Thank you, Rowan." No surprise that Max knew his name, everyone had name tags, but it was nice to hear someone refer to him by name. "When is your lunch break?" "Me? Uh..." Do not say anything negative about employment here. "It's... whenever. You know." Rowan waved a hand vaguely. "Then eat this whenever you have that time." Max handed back the box lunch, picked up his coffee, and left. Rowan looked at the box in his hands, confused. Max had just bought him lunch? Did Rowan look that bad off? Well... he couldn't put it back in the fridge now, if he didn't eat it, he'd have to throw it out. "Hey, dingus, how'd it go?" Ellie was back, smelling of smoke. "How'd what go?" She rolled her eyes. "The guy who's so into you. Did you talk to him this time?" Rowan had no idea what she was talking about. But - Max had bought him lunch. Was that supposed to mean something? Other than being nice? "Whatcha got there?" Ellie pointed at the box, like she couldn't tell what it was. "Lunch. For me, I mean." "Livin' the high life now, huh? Go eat before the next crowd comes in."

[thoughts-from-k]

How to make your friends turn away from you 21+1 tips and tricks

0. Find someone who likes you. It should be a "problematic" person., makes it easier to criticize them later, and show off your perfection (you support and accept every kind of people, and you say it often enough).

1. Tell them how desperately you wish for someone to give you help/advice/constructive critique about something you do. When they do it, turn them off every single time - without exception - telling them you disagree, and you wanted to do it the way you just did.

2. Tell them you wish to find people for things you like doing. If they go with you, and try, criticize them at every single opportunity. Make them really feel how their efforts are worthless, highlight yourself explaining how you do it (so much better, and how much more effort you put into that activity).

3. Try something they would like to do, and say you don't want more of it, because it isn't interesting for you. Find something you can point at as a reason, for example: you are not competitive, they are, and they do it to compete with you. [Ignore your behaviour in 2.] They are doing things wrong (how they organize a club or something) . Say it, even if they followed the advice you gave to them.

4. Be offended if they don't watch your 40 hours game videos, but when they mention you a book they liked, find superficial information about it, form a negative opinion, and tell them how you's never read anything like that. Generally do your best to break down their motivation and enthusiasm about anything they might like.

5. Be demanding. Demand information (more than you actually need), feelings (yep, you really want them to feel certain ways, if they can't they are not true friends). Above all! demand complete access to their private life, otherwise you have to believe they are hiding things from you, and you cannot trust them.

6. If they keep some privacy, or don't want to constantly argue with you, and don't say everything they think, then tell them you can't trust them.

7. If they defend themselves, or argue about your attitudes towards them always say: - you didn't say anything wring to them - you don't remember saying those things. Always come out of the fight as "the victim". Don't apologize! Never admit you did something wrong.

8. Tell them how badly they treat you, and how much you tolerate from them.

9. If they say you are angry, say you aren't, they can't make you angry. (In other words, they can't reach you, you don't care enough about them to take it seriously.)

10. Never admit you did something wrong against them, but if they confront you with a mirror, saying you think you are too perfect, then say: you are aware you aren't perfect, and make mistakes, and sometimes you say rude things to others purposefully in anger. (never admit you're doing this to them too, it's important)

11. After some fights, if you made them apologize a few times, and made them feel awful friends, you can start the next phase.

12. Tell them you can't talk to them about anything, because you are afraid of their reaction. If they say the same about you, call them idiots, and cowards.

13. Repeat it enough times, you don't trust them. You don't want them to think you changed your opinion about them.

14. ALWAYS - very important - in every conflicts they have or ever had, take the opposite side. Don't forget to point out they caused it all to themselves. And don't offer any help to heal from these.

15. After doing so, complain a lot about it how nobody supports you, and all you want, a caring friend.

16. Ignore them a lot. If they bring it up, say you thought they didn't need as much attention as your other friends.

17. Complain about lack of friends again.

18. Call them your friends, but continue to behave the same way. If they ask why you are with them, if there is anything you like about them at all, then respond with confusing silence, and don't give any clear answers, avoid the question. If they say something positive about you, you just nod, saying it's same on your side too.

19. Make them feel guilty about everything: about treating you bad, about not doing everything in life they "could" (according to you), not wanting to know about your sexual life... everything you can think of. Criticize them for everything you hate in yourself. But deny if they say you share that trait.

20. If they try to discuss the friendship problems, never take the blame for anything. But demand change from them. (5. + 10. combined)

21. Throw them away if you are sue they will come after you, trying to make peace with you. But you never go after anyone to apologize, nobody is important enough for you.

+1 If they reach the point of human endurance, and leave you behind, then show their messages to your still existing supporters, and make them pity you, and boost your ego. You'll be fine in no time.

Note: Sorry for the bitter humor. I had bad luck, I knew more then one of this type. In those friendships, even if I saw the person's value, I constantly found myself defending, explaining myself. Nothing was ever really good enough for them - except when they had bad times, and I was there to listen and help. And sometimes these people - because they are not monsters - actually helped, and I felt gratitude. And that made me stay around them longer than I probably should, because I felt it would be a betrayal. But there is a point, when it just doesn't work anymore and falls apart. Things happened like this: I shared common hobby with them, art. And if I didn't manage to say what they wanted to hear, and obviously I didn't, then at one point they said they hate my works, I shouldn't show them anything I created. Let's say I liked the landscape painting more than their character drawing. Or liked their own drawing more than their hobby translations. Or with one of them it was difficult, because the person really have a lot to improve and I didn't want to be too harsh, so just pointed out a few things... for the person's request. And the reaction was complete rejection, this friend said it was purposefully like that.

We played it a few times, and then I gave up. I am not an art teacher, I tried to do something good, in a gentle way, but even that didn't work. Soon the same person started to complain about the lack of support and constructive criticism. Tried to push me into giving critique again, and when it didn't work, I got the: "I hate commenting on your works" and ignored my works. I tried to be friends with a certain community. I didn't fit it, some thought it's fun to mess with my emotions, being rude. I grieved my father too, everything just came at once, and I talked about it to my friend. For a few moments the person said it was unfair, but then I could say something my friend didn't like, and then the opinion changed to this: I caused it for myself, that group's reaction is understandable. That's how dynamics change with this type. And if someone is more emotional - like me - it's likely they/we react to that, confront the friend, and then there is fight over fight until one has enough brain to leave it all behind and close the friendship. No other options left.

If you feel like you're reading about one of your relationships, then let it be a warning sign. If you are the one doing such things to your friends, then it's a mirror for you. Please stop doing it. Thanks for reading!

[jfcspencer]

PARA: big surprises!

WHO: journey smith @journey-j-smith & spencer stone.

WHERE: jo's house.

WHAT HAPPENS: jo is pregnant!

JOURNEY

Journey sat on the floor of her bathroom. She probably bought the whole shelf of tests this morning after dropping the kids off with her brother. Spencer was on his way over, like always, and she was so excited to tell him about at the same time she was scared. They joking talked about their future together and Jo had some truth being her words. She wanted everything they ever talked about. And now one of them was happening. She walked down stairs in her short shorts and bikini top just as she heard the door open. “There’s my sugar.” She called out as she hit the last step

SPENCER

this week, spencer was kid free so he was able to spend some more time with his girlfriend journey. on his way over he grabbed them a small six pack of beer to just hang out and chill around as the summer was coming to an end. when he got there. he opened the door and called out, “jo! i’m here!” he smiled before shutting the door behind him. when he saw her at the end of the stairs he placed the beer down on the couch and made his way over to her. “you know my birthday isn’t for awhile but look at this sexy present,” he winked, placing his hands on her waist and kissing her lips. “i brought some beer so we can just chill today.”

JOURNEY

She smiled softly as she kissed him back. “Well I’ll remember this outfit for your birthday then. But I was thinkin’ y’all would want me in a lot less.” She joked as she looked over at the beers. Oh how he knew his weakness. “Great! Let’s put them in the fridge for now. I have something to show you.

SPENCER

“hm, i would like to be surprise but you in anything is a great present,” he winked at his girlfriend. he felt his hands on her hips before nodded his head. his body moved to grab the beers and heading his way to the kitchen. “so,” he chuckled out opening up the fridge and put them in there. “what do you plan on showing me today?” he questioned, looking over at the beautiful blonde near him, closing the fridge. “a present?” he teased her, pressing a kiss to her lips a few times. “like an actual present because you didn’t have too babe.” hummed out the man, pushing her hair back from her face.

JOURNEY.

“No…not a present. A surprise I guess……” she thought for a moment. She let out a sigh and took his hand. “Just come with me.” The blonde lead him up the stairs. Feeling her heart beat start to race which each step. How was he gonna react? Was he gonna be happy? Or mad? As she walked into the bedroom she dropped his hand. She walked over to the bathroom and gesture inside. To the sink that had about 10 positive pregnancies tests sitting in it. “There…” she said in a small voice. The feeling of her about to cry welled up in her stomach

SPENCER

“a surprise?” he questioned, arching his brow up a bit while he listened to her for a short moment. he followed her up the stairs, he had no idea what he was going to walk into today. he never knew if this was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. was it like a break up talk or something? he wasn’t sure. when spencer saw her gesture for him to come into the bathroom, he followed slightly confused until he came face to face with the many pregnancy test on the counter. they had talked about having kids, they have been together this whole time. he loved kids, he didn’t mind having more at all. “holy shit,” he chuckled out, wrapping his arms around journey. “i know we talked about it a lot so i guess we saw this coming,” he chuckled, kissing her forehead. “are you ready for this? me forever? a big head baby?”

JOURNEY

The blinked up at him before bursting out into tears. Covering her face before hiding in his chest. She was just so happy and relieved to hear his words that she lost it. Bitting her lip she looked up at his with tears still rolling down her face. “I’m ready for everythin’ and anythin’ with you suga.”

SPENCER

spencer was taken a bit back when she burst into tears and burried her face into his chest, he quickly wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "why are you crying, baby?" he asked her in a quiet voice, his hand kept rubbing her back gently. "well, i'm glad we're on the same page about this little nugget here." he kissed her hair softly. "so i guess i brought beer at the wrong time then." chuckled out the man, looking down at her with a kind smile.

JOURNEY

She sniffled. “I don’t know. I recon y’all be mad….or,or upset.” The women sniffled using her hand to dry her face. “I was just scared.” The women said softly with a hiccup. “But I’m happy now.” The singer giggled lightly and shook her head. “No no. It’s the perfect time. You get to celebrate!” Journey smiled happily at him. In the past she really didn’t get the moment to tell her late husband that she was pregnant in person. It was always over the phone. And besides Lux, it actually didn’t go well at all.

SPENCER

the man stepped back, cupping her face to wipe her tears with his thumbs. "i could never be upset. we talked about having a kid, shit, if it came out negative i would pull down my pants right now." he laughed, trying to get her not cry and put a smile on her face. "i grew up by myself and i always wanted a big family. we're gonna be a family," he smiled, kissing her nose lightly. spencer wrapped his arm around her, walking them down to the kitchen. "i agree, a celebration beer is in need! i mean for me, we can get you whatever you want like a milkshake or something." he chuckled out.

JOURNEY.

The women couldn’t help but laugh at his words with her head in his hands. She never felt more safe then with Spencer. A dumb smile grew on her face. “We’re gonna have a baby.” The women followed him to the kitchen and pulled out a beer for him and popped it open. “For ya, sugar. You’re gonna be a daddy.” Journey said getting tears in her eyes.

SPENCER.

“we’re going to have a baby,” he repeated smiling down at her. spencer leaned down to kiss her lips a few times. he thanked her before taking the beer and bringing it up. “you’re going fo be a mommy,” he cheered out before bringing it to his lips to take a swing of if. he set it down and chuckled out. “baby, dont cry,” he wrapped his arms around her again. “id start crying if the kid comes out looking like me.” he laughed out.

JOURNEY.

She shook her head and wiped her face. “I’m just….” Journey sniffled and looked up at him. “I’m just so happy. This is the happiest I’ve ever been.” She beamed. “I’ve honestly never been this happy and felt this safe with anyone else. And I love you.” She smiled big and stole a kiss from him. “I can only wish to have a child like you.”

SPENCER.

spencer placed the beer down, taking journey's hands in his. his thumbs ran across her smooth skin, smiling down at her. "well, i am so very glad that i could make you this happy, jo. truthfully, i love you and you really do make me so fucking happy. i'm with you, this is the happiest i have been in such a long time and it's because of you," mused the blonde, resting his hands on her waist but slowly went to her stomach and rubbed it gently. "i love you too," he hummed leaning down to meet her kiss. "trust me, you don't." he laughed out, shaking his head. "lyric is just like me and i had to apologize to my mum."

JOURNEY.

“You make me happier then you will ever know.” She hummed softly at him. “I think we were that the other was waiting for all our lives. The missing piece.” Journey placed her hand on top of his as it rested on her stomach. “No I do. I really do. I wanna watch them grow up and become just like you. Having a little you is nothing I’ll ever regret.”

SPENCER.

"i agree with you, baby. i think we needed to go what we needed to go through so that we could meet each other in our lives," he told her, keeping his eyes on her and his hands on her stomach. his smile grew feeling her hands on his. "why are you so fucking cute?" he chuckled, pressing a kiss on her lips. he was sure that he had heard those words before but it never mattered until right hearing it from journey's mouth. "well, i hope they're just like you. kind, sweet, and with the most beautiful soul."

JOURNEY.

To out side world, Journey looked like she had a great life before meeting spencer. Married her high school sweetheart who became a war hero with beautiful kids. But Jo was never this happy. Felt this perfect. This love before then. She sniffled before nuzzling into him. “I think we have rethink our living together timeline.” She giggled

SPENCER

it was no surprise that spencer had been linked to many people in his career. some of them he did care for and loved and others were nothing but random hook ups. this relationship of his was different, he had never met anyone like journey before who quickly changed his whole mood, his life, his heart. she had this insane impact on him that wanted him to be a better person. “moving in huh? i can do that. we do got a tribe so we better house hunt soon for one huge ass house.”

SPENCER.

She giggled. “Swim-up bar!” The blonde cheered happily. “That was a requirement I believe wsaid while in Vegas. We can also just build one.” She said and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her tears drying slowly. “Big house. With room to grow. I just moved into here and I don’t wanna move again and let’s be real. We’re gonna have a big family because I’m one of 11. I think I need to hit at least 9 or 10.�� The women only kinda joked. She was gonna have a big family

JOURNEY.

the man laughed and nodded his head. "i do believe we were in talks of having a swim-up bar. i don't know these terms of 'we build one' because i'm just going to hire people for that," he chuckled out, rubbing her back gently. he was happy to see her so joyful to be pregnant and start this future with him. now that he was with journey, he couldn't picture a life without her. it was so strange how quickly she just came into his life and completely changed it around. "big house, noted. big family so you hear that down there?" he pulled back to look down at his pants. "we got some work to do," spencer teased out. "nine or ten, huh? we got six already with the tribe. i can do maybe two more but if it happens later in the future then i'm so here for more with you."

JOURNEY.

She shook her head. “Y’all such a city boy. It’s cute.” Journey walked over and grabbed a water bottle for the fridge and found her way to her normal spot. Right up on the counter top. Her eyes rolled at him. “I mean….I can go for more but I know that’s a lot to ask. I mean….y’all took on the dad role to my kids already and I feel like that’s already asking for to much.”

SPENCER.

"you could never catch me building anything. i make music, not anything else. well and babies because ya know," he chuckled pointing down to his pants once more. he went over to grab his beer and bring it to his lips for a sip of it. "hey, i love your kids. i love all kids. as a dad myself, it's natural to me. i love them very much. plus our kids are the same ages and so yeah," he chuckled softly.

JOURNEY.

Again she shook her head. “No, Spencer it’s different.” She said. “Their dad is gone….and he ain’t coming back. And they’re probably not gonna remember him when they get older. Lux never even met him. But they know you. And they’ll know you as their dad.” She looked at him. “I mean I’ll never let them forget Andrew but…..your here. It’s not like step dad….You’re their daddy already in their eyes. And I feel like that’s a lot to ask of someone…”

SPENCER.

spencer stood quiet while journey speak to him about the kids. he could never replace andrew, he never want too. he wasn't sure what to even say, what could he even say about that? he reached over to take journey's hand and squeezed his hand gently. "then we won't let the kids forget him at all," he whispered out.

JOURNEY.

She smiled and gave a half hearted laugh. “We?” She looked at their hands for a moment. “All that being said, I am so happy they have a man like you in their lives. Because they’ll never know life without a dad.” Journey smiled back at him. She knew her kids, and she knew what they thought of Spencer. They loved him, so much. Her oldest daughter had already made the slip of calling Spencer daddy already and she wasn’t exactly sure how he would feel about that.

SPENCER.

the man looked over at the fellow blonde and nodded his head. "yeah, we," he playfully nudged her shoulder lightly. "i mean, we did talk about getting married and starting our lives together so i want them to know who their dad is." he took the hand that he released her hand and brought it up to wrap his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "so let's make sure they never forget." he told her, smiling down at her.

[beerecordings]

How do we recognize ableist content like that? I've never been in situations like that, so something that look pretty harmless to me could be in fact quite shitty. I don't want to share stuff like that and be unaware of it, how do I learn?

well thank you for asking!!! but the first thing I’d like to do is make it clear that while I do trust myself to recognize many common ableist errors/choices, I do not pretend to be an authority on this issue any more than anyone else who’s done some research, talked with other people, and worked to recognize things. I need help sometimes too! Also I’d like to reiterate that I am able-bodied and people with disabilities are free to correct me.

The second thing to notice is that SOMETIMES these things are context-dependent. For instance, while I usually gag to see Jameson made into like the son of somebody the same age as him, if you’re actually writing an au where Jameson and maybe another character or two are actually children to another character, that can be pretty cute!!! In that case an adult is not being infantilized and he is not made into a child because of his disability - he’s being made into a child because he’s a literal four-year-old and that’s the premise of the story (and he still can’t talk). Alternatively, maybe Jameson needs extra attention and love and protection from older brothers after a traumatic event - but at some point, that Jameson should begin to regain his independence, should still experience a wide range of emotions, and should not be condescended to about his emotions or ability to function alone. However, please be careful with this… don’t use context to make excuses if you’re actually pulling ableist shit.

I think that list I gave in the post I made is a good (but not comprehensive!) starting point for some of the things to look for that are offensive to people with disabilities (some of these are specific to mutism). Let’s take another deeper look at these points:

Before reblogging something with Jameson in it, for instance, ask yourself - does this infantilize the character?

Is Jameson unable to function alone in society beyond the reasonable limitations we would expect of a person with a disability? Is Jameson babied to a ridiculous degree by the other egos? Does Jameson only experience basic emotions? Does Jameson ever stand up for himself or display “unpleasant” and unromanticized emotions such as anger, desire to isolate, desire for violence, ugly grief and sorrow, etc? Disabled adults are still ADULTS. Don’t treat them like little kids!!! If you want to portray Jameson’s trauma reactions - and you should!! he’s been through a lot!! - make sure this is more complex than just reducing him to a sweet needy baby who needs a hand to hold twenty-four seven. He should have ugly reactions too and be more complex than sad sometimes because he’s disabled and needs more attention. Otherwise you are infantilizing his mutism and romanticizing his trauma.

Does this erase Jameson’s disability completely or partially?

I have had people tell me it’s okay to erase Jameson’s disability because “they just wanted him to have a cute British accent.” I have had people to tell me to “chill out” because it “isn’t a big deal” that people erase his disability. I’ve heard people say “I couldn’t really get into Jameson for some reason, he just wasn’t my favorite character - so I decided to make him my own and give him new powers and let him talk and now I like him a lot!”

FUCK OFF M8

DON’T WRITE HIM IF YOU AREN’T WILLING TO INCORPORATE HIS DISABILITY AND YOU HATE DISABLED CHARACTERS. WHY ARE SOME OF U LIKE THIS. HOW DARE YOU qUITE FRANKLY

DO NOT SUPPORT CONTENT WITH A SPEAKING JAMESON UNLESS ANTI IS ABOUT TO SHOW UP AND CUT THAT BOY’S THROAT OR MAYBE IT’S AN AU WHERE SOMEBODY ELSE HAS THE DISABILITY BUT I’M NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE ABOUT THAT ONE -

When you erase Jameson’s disability, you are telling every disabled person who might come across your writing that there is something wrong with being disabled and that they need to be fixed, as well as warping your own perception of the disabled people you will meet in your life. Do not use magic spells to erase Jameson’s inability to vocalize. Do not just decide you prefer a vocalizing Jamie.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of a character who cannot vocalize?

If you are not disabled, you probably should not write pieces deeply exploring his relationship with his disability, because you just can’t do it right. I’m tired of seeing people write like ten thousand words of whump about how sad Jamie is about being disabled and how he longs desperately to just be normal like everyone else!! If only he didn’t have to sign!!! And he never seems to make any progress at accepting himself, he never seems to have any righteous anger at the people who treat him like shit, he always seems to let himself be comforted by other people telling him how to perceive himself instead of coming to terms with it with the help of both others and his own internal development. Incorporate his disability, and yes, it’s okay if it upsets him that other people react poorly to his inability to vocalize sometimes, but avoid stories which focus on him dealing with his disability exclusively if you are not disabled. If his disability is the only thing that ever makes him sad or makes him experience a negative emotion, you have fucked up again and you are using his disability for whump points like an asshole instead of seeing him holistically. I get upset sometimes because I see people will get prompts about JJ and it will be like… “job interview!” so they write one where Jameson gets turned down for a job because of a disability or it will be like “mourn!” and it’s about how he mourns his lost voice and “spell!” is about Marvin trying to fix him and just….. I guess it’s okay to write that stuff every now and then, but it’s a BIG RED FLAG if someone takes every single prompt or thought about JJ and makes it about him being sad about his disability.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of sign language?

Please be aware that Jameson speaks BSL, not ASL! I think most people mess that one up just because they don’t know, not because they’re ableist, so it’s great to spread awareness! If you are writing something about Jamie, though, you really should know. You should also try to learn a little about the way people sign and just do some research! Also, when writing Jameson, be aware of the signing. If he is in another room than Jackie, then remember that Jackie can’t “hear” him. You just forgot he couldn’t talk! Double-check your work or ask someone to beta and this one is avoided easily. Be open to someone pointing out “actually, Jameson couldn’t do that, he was downstairs!” and work to accommodate him.

If I were unable to vocalize, would I be offended by this representation?

Many of us have disabilities of our own. Think about the things that bother you and how they apply to mutism or even other disabilities like Chase’s depression. One thing that always helps me (though I am not in a wheelchair!) is comparing this to people in wheelchairs. Would it be okay for me to write a fic where a person had their legs magically fixed after a lifetime of not being able to walk and then everybody liked them better and they finally found purpose? Would it be okay for me to write ten snippets in a row about how sad they are they can’t walk? Would it be okay for me to just decide they can walk now because I’m annoyed when I have to write in their wheelchair? Is it okay for me to say that they can’t wheel themselves around or that they use magic to move at all times and would not be able to move at all if someone were not pushing them or they lost their magic? Is it okay for everyone to treat the person like a helpless baby because they can’t walk? Honestly, I think we know more than we think if we take a moment to critically examine. Trust your gut.

Does this contain common problems in portrayal of characters with disabilities/mutism such as derision or lamentation towards sign language, making the character defined entirely by their disability (always a cheerful character except when reminded of their disability, for example), having other characters explain things about their disability to them, or treating the character as childish, needy, and unable to function in society because of their disability?

Pretty self-explanatory, but well worth repeating.

Do not show derision towards sign language (though a villain might, if it was clear that they are the villain and doing something wrong!). We have already discussed the complexities of lamentation and I suggest that you avoid that as well, especially if you are going to make his character flat. If you are not disabled, you really can’t portray it well, and it’s ableist to focus so much on the disability that you do not give the character any other complexity. Do not make the disability the “tragic backstory” of the character’s life. Complexity is important because it means you are seeing the person as more than their disability! You should know things about the character other than “they are happy and sweet and sugary and never get angry or make mistakes!! except sometimes… they are sad because they can’t talk uwuw poor baby” you look that shit in the eyes and you tell it to fuck off, you hear me? It’s great to have a sweet, nice, sugary baby brother Jameson as long as he is more complex than that, with real independence and abilities of his own and complex emotions and character! His disability should not be his one weak spot or his tragic backstory or some shit!

ALSO DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT REFER TO JAMESON AS “THE MUTE.”

like dude even “the mute man” is pretty fucking shifty because why do you feel the need to define him by that??? but definitely not “the mute moved down the hallway” i will block you on sight and you will deserve it that is SO offensive would you call a person who can’t walk “the cripple???”

Don’t have a speaking character explain things about disabilities to characters with disabilities. Speaking characters should not be condescending towards the character about much of anything, really, or else you’re infantilizing - if you need someone to explain things, obviously that’s okay, but do it in a way that recognizes that this is a mature and independent adult.

The character with a disability should be able to function in society past the limitations that are to be expected. No, Jameson isn’t going to magically start talking, but if he wants to go on a walk alone, he can. Let him do things like writing or texting. Don’t be afraid to give him a cool job and awesome hobbies. Let him have independence. If you can’t imagine JJ living on his own because he can’t speak, you’re doing it wrong. Look for signs that Jameson is capable of things other than making tea and kissing his brothers good night.

It’s okay to have a Jameson with a slightly childish personality, and I love it when he’s a sweet boy! But there should be more to him than that. I’m just going to say it - you know when Jameson is being treated like a baby. You know the difference between infantilization and a nice friendly man with sweet cute hobbies and interests. You can see it. Trust yourself. Don’t buy it when you see it and if you’re writing him, make sure there is complexity instead of just sugar-sweet with a sugar-sweet filling. He’s an adult. Remember that and remember that it’s harmful to pretend otherwise.

Geez, that was a rant and a half. Again, I am not the perfect authority. But there are some tips.

Does that help at all?

Feel free to add on to that if you have seen specific things in the fandom that I might not have seen or you have a disability and have experience with being discriminated against.

[asexualalienn]

There are so many labels and definitions out there, but all I know is that I don't fit any of the most known labels. I tend to feel very different and wrong about who I am, especially when friends talk about boy/girlfriends/sex, and movies, music etc are always on repeat about the same sex/romance stuff. I feel frustrated and sad as I'm often reminded that I'm different, weird and people don't get me. How do I deal with this kind of situation? What can I possibly do to not feel this way? Thanks!

I can't give you all the answers, I would if I could, but what I can do you give you advice and tell you what worked for me! For a while, I felt the same way that you do, and it took me a long time to figure out how to make myself feel ok about all the romance and sexual content that seems to be everywhere you look. What helped me is deciding to just say screw it, I'm different, and it hurts sometimes and the world isn't always kind to people like me, and favors others over me but who cares? I definitely don't, I'm different and that's what makes me, me! My struggles, my pain, everything I've gone through has shaped me to be what I am, for better or for worse. I see stuff on a daily basis that reminds me that I'm strange to others, that my experience isn't what most people go through, and there's nothing I can do about that except put myself out there, and support the people that do have the same experience. If I hear a love song, why not give it my own meaning? The love song that talks about a partner to everyone else, could talk to me about the feelings I get when I watch something special to me. The show that has what is probably way too many sex scenes in it is now funny because, oh look, the writers are at it again! Making things awkward and embarrassing for so many people watching it together. (I mean, really, are people actually able to write a sex scene and go “Yes, this is good. I'm not embarrassed or uncomfortable in the least!” it doesn't make sense in my mind)

Your different, and that's ok. If you weren't, you wouldn't be you! You're special in your own way, and that's how its meant to be. Would life be as fun if we were weren't asexual? I really don't think so. I have so much extra time because I'm not focused on sexual or romantic stuff, what's important to me is different because I don't have the same thoughts as others when it comes to sex and romance (which is more important to a lot of people than you would think! It takes up a decent amount of time from what I've noticed from friends and family) 

I have walked with my cousin to a girls house, 7 miles in the dark because he didn't want to walk there alone, just so he could go and have some “fun” with her. 4 hours of walking. Aren't you glad you don't feel the need to do something like that? I sure am! So many people with sexual attraction and romantic attraction talk about how important and nice it is and that it's sad that we don't feel those things, but it's not important or nice to all of us. Sometimes we feel like we're missing out because of what we’re told, but in all honestly, we really aren't missing out. Yes, we have a different experience but that doesn't mean we're missing something. I spend my time with my cats, or watching entertaining shows or reading or playing games, and all those things fill me with more happiness than any sexual attraction or romantic attraction ever has (i experienced both a long time ago, even though I no longer do, I promise it's not as great as everyone says, at least to me)

And on the topic of your friends, if its really bothering you, you have the right to ask them to not talk what bothers you when they're around you, at least for a little while so you can figure out how to handle your feelings. What helps me with stuff like that is that when my friends ask for advice, I can give them something other people cant. My view on boyfriends and girlfriends and sex is different from what most people think. Were different and in certain situations that can make what we have to offer more important. Our judgment seems to be a little bit less clouded when it comes to stuff like that, as long as we don't feel strongly about it positively or negatively, were more neutral, and can offer opinions and thoughts that others can't. It's a good thing that your asexual, your unique and can give your friends something special, and can have a completely different life than what's expected. Being able to help my friends makes me feel better, even if I don't like what they're talking about, maybe it'll help you too!

Try to remember that even though a lot of what we see in our day to day life can make us feel like we're wrong and that we're missing out on something huge, we’re just like any other person when it comes down to it. We love different things, we care about different things. There's no hole in your heart that needs to be filled by having romantic or sexual attraction, that spot in your heart is just meant for something else!

Most people won't understand you, and that's not their fault (unless they just won't listen to what you're trying to tell them) they dont deal with your feelings and your thoughts, they deal with their own. You won't understand everyone else, it's a two way street. But, you can always find people that understand you, or are willing to listen and try. It can seem so impossible, and after all this time I'm still have trouble finding people that can understand me or are willing to listen, but it's possible. You can do it, you're not alone, there will always be people that understand you, even if they're hard to find.

If none of what I've said helps you at all, then try to think of stuff like this. Would you hurt another person that feels like you do? Would you find them weird, or gross, or wrong because of who they are? If the answer is no, then why would you treat yourself like that? Your just as important as others, you deserve the same respect and kindness, especially from yourself. 

I'm not sure if this is the kind of response you wanted, or if I even answered everything you wanted answered in the right way and I kind of feel like I just repeated myself over and over again?? But, I hope this helps you, I'm sorry if I didn't respond how you wanted!! Please take care of yourself, your special, your important, your not gross or weird and its ok to feel differently than others!!

- Mod Raven