#(( either as autumn queen herself or to give it to ruhn

[crownednight]

amaya couping einar when

[sofiasjornal]

House of Sky and Breath Review 🌙

I’ve been in a real battle over how to rate this book. Until I reached half of it I was entirely convinced this would be another five-star book but a few things irritated me enough to lower the rating a little. So here we are:

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ and a 90%! 

So let’s begin with the things that irritated me. First, the whole Danika thing. How many things can Danika hide from her supposed best friend until Bryce realizes she doesn’t know her at all? I understand why she hid the whole “we can end the Asteri” thing. But why hide Braxian and who her father is? I’m sure Bryce would’ve also preferred to hide the fact she was the autumn king's daughter. In HOEAB, Danika’s secrets were compelling enough to move the story, but in HOSAB, I thought it went overboard. Every time Bryce said “Danika would’ve told me/ she would not hide this” I really wanted to scream. Let’s hope this changes in HOFAS.

Another thing was regarding the references to Aelin. Like I said while I was reading the first two books, Bryce reminds me a lot of Aelin. I’ve felt the same with Rhysand in ACOTAR. I don’t how to explain it but I feel these two are very much connected with the Queen I love so much. What pissed me off was when her references started to be lampooned by other characters. Lidia saying “Liar I might be but at least I’m no fool” really and royally pissed me off. Aelin is Aelin. Lehabah’s “I'm not afraid” is much easier to accept because she was sacrificing herself, a parallel to Aelin’s entire existence. But I think it’s time to give it a break. Either put Aelin in HOFAS and let me be happy or let her rest in Terrasen. 

With that being said, let’s go to the good things! Everything I said about the first book applies here. I still wished we saw a little more of Ruhn outside the group and his romantic involvement with Lidia (that I knew was Day from the fucking start, so points for me!). I hope HOFAS changes that as well. For the next book, I think it would be really interesting to see the story or some parts of it from Lidia's pov! I’m assuming she will be the one that helps them all escape but we’ll see. 

Also, Hunt, Ruhn, and Braxian being prisoners of the Asteri really didn’t surprise me. Bryce is the key to everything so she couldn’t be the one to get caught and made prisoner. Hunt, I was almost certain because there’s something about himself he was still to figure out- the whole thing about him being bred for something else. Perhaps finding this out will be the key to escape and bring down the Asteri with Bryce? We’ll see! Now Ruhn was a surprise because I don’t see a purpose for his imprisonment other than the connection with Lidia. He has trauma enough, even though it’s rarely mentioned, so it can’t be to give the character some depth. We’ll see that as well! 

I want to fucking kill Celestina with my own two hands! I was so right about not trusting that bitch! So much love for Hypaxia, how will she explain she was partly responsible for them being caught and betraying them all? If Hypaxia doesn’t leave her crying on the ground I will!

Now, the best part of the entire book is that last chapter! I felt my heart racing through all of it! I ran from spoilers like they were the plague so I really wasn’t expecting this at all! Before Bryce was caught and she was looking over the map, I thought maybe there would be a reference or an indication about Acotar’s world or togs, but nothing. So I thought maybe there was nothing there. BUT THEN! Then Bryce goes through the portal and falls into the grass! Hell doesn’t have grass (I think!). And then “the demon” appeared with his black wings. And I started screaming! Because we know who has those black wings and scarred hands! That’s Azriel! And then all of them started to appear and my brain turned to mush. And that ending… “Hello, Bryce Quinlan. My name is Rhysand!” I SCREAMED! 

I’m very curious to see how this falls into the ACOTAR timeline but before I go into my theories I really need to reread this last chapter again to really set it into my head before starting HOFAS! 

But what an ending!! 

[rufousnmacska]

Secrets and Confessions Part 5

A Crescent City Ruhn-Hypaxia fic

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

*****

Part 5

*****

Ruhn was in the process of sorting through a pile of probably useless tech when the knock came at his door. Expecting Bryce, he yelled, “No one’s here.”

The door opened to reveal Tharion Ketos, wearing a tailored suit and a smug grin.

“Fuck,” Ruhn grumbled. “What the fuck do you want?”

Ketos walked in as if he owned the place, pulling out a chair and taking in the room with curious eyes. The books on the seat were moved to the desk, atop a precarious stack of papers. “Hello to you too. Do you always swear so much?”

“All the fucking time,” Ruhn said, not bothering to return the greeting. He left the junk and turned to face Ketos. “Who let you in?”

“Your band mates.”

“What?”

Ketos wrinkled his brow. “Aren’t you three in a band or something? The way you all dress made me think-“

Ruhn growled. “What. Do. You. Want.”

The mer held up his hands in a peace offering and leaned back in the chair. “I’m here to discuss some things.”

“This better be Aux related because if it isn’t, I’m throwing your ass out.”

“Well I’m in luck because it is about your Aux unit.”

He hoped Tharion couldn’t see the disappointment on his face. He’d heard nothing from Hypaxia in the last few days. And he was too much of a coward to contact her, even though his control was eroding. He was embarrassingly close to calling her. Signaling for Tharion to go on, he sat on his bed, willing himself to concentrate.

“How many of your Aux unit would follow you?” the mer asked. “Hypothetically. Rough numbers.”

“To overthrow the asteri? Or to overthrow my father?”

“Both.”

Ruhn barked a laugh as Ketos was apparently done with the bullshit. He held the male’s sharp gaze as he thought about it. Just a few weeks ago he’d wanted to be involved with the rebels. Had even considered this very question, on many occasions. His Aux unit was comprised of the best of the Valbaran Fae. The strongest and smartest. All of them would follow him against the asteri.

Against his father though …

“Are they mutually exclusive?” He didn’t give a shit about his father. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready to lead a coup either.

“Not necessarily. If you can suggest a way to do one without your father becoming an equally bad replacement, I’m all ears.”

“Shit.” He really didn’t need to say anything else. The rebels might not know the extent of his father’s plans, but they had to have a good idea. They’d be idiots to not have a plan for the power vacuum if they were successful against the asteri.

Tharion stood and straightened out his suit jacket. “You can think about it. Let me know.” He headed for the door, and just as Ruhn was about to break and ask about her, Tharion said, “She wanted to tell you. Since the Summit. I know you understand why she couldn’t.” He made a vague gesture in reference to the ever-present cameras and recordings throughout the city. “And I know you understand that it was for your safety as well as for ours. Now, I can’t speak to anything personal between you two. But Hypaxia is the last person in the world to manipulate someone. Even for this cause. She’s the moral compass of the operation. And if you can’t get over whatever bullshit betrayal you’ve concocted in that pierced head of yours … Well, I guess it’ll be your loss.”

Ruhn said nothing as Tharion opened the door and started out. But the mer wasn’t done. With a wink, he said, “Your loss might be my gain.” And before Ruhn could throw something at him, he shut the door, yelling back, “Call her you fucking idiot!”

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. “What the fuck just happened?”

A buzz came from his phone and he rolled his eyes. The evening check in.

Did you clean your room yet?

For fuck’s sake Bryce. What’s with this obsession about cleaning?

It’s a good distraction when you feel like shit. Believe me. I know.

The truth in that made his annoyance fade. And made him feel bad for wallowing in self pity for so long. She’d survived much worse than a break-up. Considering where they’d been less than a year ago, barely speaking, fighting when they did … He smiled, glad that she was hounding him.

He sent her a photo of the progress he’d made, which he thought was pretty good. She disagreed and told him to get back to work.

As you wish your highness.

Don’t fucking call me that.

Ok your highness.

If you keep it up I’m coming over to supervise.

He sent a princess symbol with a heart. The heart always worked to end her tirades.

Laying back on his bed, he stared at his phone, wondering if he should take Tharion’s advice.

Tomorrow, he thought. After I straighten some shit out.

In the meantime, he went out into the hallway and shouted for Flynn and Dec. They came up after getting rid of the drunk fae and shifters they’d had over. Luckily, Dec was stone cold sober, and Flynn was close enough.

“How many from the unit can we trust?” He didn’t need to go into more detail. They knew everything he did about his father. Hel, they knew everything about him.

Everything except the truth about the Oracle’s prophecy. Which now seemed like it might be a good thing. If ending the bloodline meant ending the threat posed by his father, then Ruhn had no problem with his destiny. He’d proudly sacrifice his title if it led to a meaningful peace for Midgard.

His fingers itched to call Hypaxia and tell her exactly that.

But just then, Dec began rattling off names. Tristan nodded along, a far off look in his eyes that meant he was planning. And so Ruhn began planning too.

*****

The room was much emptier than Hypaxia had been expecting. Instead of a table surrounded by all the upper echelon rebels and their seconds, a lone figure sat at the far end. There wasn’t a single ashy blonde hair out of place on Jesiba Roga’s head, and her eyes were as unforgiving as the sharp edged nails she tapped on the table.

“You’re early,” she said by way of greeting. Hypaxia almost let out a breath of relief, thinking that meant there would be more coming. But the witch had seen, or sensed, her reaction and said, “It’s just us today.”

Sitting a fair distance away, she said, “I was told the full group would be meeting. Did I receive incorrect information?”

Jesiba didn’t answer, just took a drink from a glass that held a golden brown liquid. It looked like scotch, but Hypaxia didn’t know for sure. And she wouldn’t, as the witch didn’t offer her anything, alcohol or otherwise.

Hypaxia was tired. Already tired of the political bullshit required not just in her role with the rebellion, but as queen. Technically, regardless of what she’d renounced and who she now claimed to serve, Jesiba was one of her subjects. Hypaxia wasn’t stupid enough to order her to do anything. But for Cthona’s sake the witch could show a little respect. If not to her queen, at least to another person.

The grin that twisted Jesiba’s mouth made her remember where she was. Remember her place. Queen or not, she wasn’t in charge here. But she’d be damned if she played the good little witch to this sorceress.

She suddenly thought of Ruhn, realizing his fondness for cursing had rubbed off on her. Ignoring the pang in her heart, she returned Jesiba’s smile.

“I assume you are aware of the various prophecies at play here,” Jesiba said, the unspoken “girl” successfully conveyed in her condescending tone.

Refusing to be baited, Hypaxia simply said, “I am the Witch Queen.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Which means you’re aware of what role your lover is to take. Or, is it former lover? I’m afraid I haven’t kept up on the state of your affairs.”

Wanting to roll her eyes at the stupid double entendre, she let it and the insult go. “Of course I am aware. That is why I want him recruited.”

“Still?”

“Still.”

Jesiba ran her finger around the lip of her glass as she studied her. It made a wavering, melodic sound that left Hypaxia thinking of Ruhn again, and his sensitive hearing. She’d never considered herself a good singer, but he adored her voice. Whether she was speaking or singing, humming or moaning, he would sometimes close his eyes in appreciation.

“The union of the sword and blade is not something to be left in the hands of the fae. The Autumn King is a fool if he thinks otherwise.” Jesiba’s brusqueness tugged her out of the soft memories.

“The Prince is not a fool. And he is not a minion of his father.”

Those cold gray eyes were like shards of ice and Hypaxia felt her skin prickle. She knew Jesiba was skilled in all kinds of power. Witch magic as well as whatever ghastly practices she’d learned from the Under King. But Hypaxia had been taught by her mother, by the wise, old witch elders, and by the other ancient beings hidden in their mountains. Jesiba’s attempt to enter her mind would not work.

“I have nothing to hide Ms. Roga. Why don’t you just ask me your questions and we can both return to our work.”

The witch smiled that knife-like grin again, giving off a fleeting look that Hypaxia thought might be admiration. At her ability to keep Jesiba from shuffling through her thoughts or her bluntness, she wasn’t sure.

After another drink, Jesiba said, “Danaan is necessary. I don’t like it, but he’s necessary. As critical to our goal as his sister.”

At the mention of Bryce, Hypaxia caught another quick expression on the witch’s face, like that of a parent worried for her child. She’d seen it often enough on her own mother’s face to recognize it.

Jesiba continued. “Mirrors of the starborn siblings begot by Theia. Both of Theia’s daughters inherited their mother’s power, but not equally.”

Hypaxia wanted to argue that Ruhn had more to him than met the eye, perhaps even his own eye. But she didn’t. Those powers were his to wield. His to understand and develop. He’d kept them hidden for a reason and it was not her place to reveal them.

“Bryce is the horn,” Hypaxia said, knowing the prophecies as she’d already stated and hoping to shorten Jesiba’s lesson. “She will open the rift so we may dispose of the asteri and then seal it.”

“It’s not quite that simple.”

The previous disdain in Jesiba’s tone had returned. Her own annoyance bubbled close to the surface. Hypaxia knew damn well that it wasn’t that simple. The asteri were ancient, immensely powerful beings. “So why is the prince necessary? Beyond the sword?”

“The sword isn’t his.”

That stopped Hypaxia and she couldn’t help the shock that settled on her face. “What do you mean? He pulled it from the stone in Avallen.”

“It calls more strongly for Bryce. For her starlight.”

She held Jesiba’s icy stare, thinking, remembering the prophecies and the visions she’d just claimed to know. Running through all the arcane knowledge passed on from her mother. When it hit her, she felt her eyes widen. And saw another brief look of approval cross the witch’s face.

“He is the blade,” she whispered.

The approval disappeared as fast as it had come. Sorrow, genuine and unexpected, met Hypaxia’s gaze now.

Despite all her training, this had been a detail left unexplained. Either unknown by her witches, or unspoken.

The blade did not truly exist. Not literally. It was a metaphor. And like Helena’s sister, Theia’s lesser known daughter, the blade was to be the sacrifice.

Prince Pelias had killed the younger sister himself with the Starsword, joining her fractional amounts of starlight to his own to ensure the rift was sealed.  

Jesiba had known.

“I am sorry to be the bearer of such news,” Jesiba said, having the grace to continue looking sorry.

Hypaxia sat, silent and unmoving. Ruhn was to die for this rebellion to succeed.

She’d been under no illusions that most of them, or even any of them, would survive this. She wasn’t foolish. And yet, she’d allowed herself to fall in love with him. Let him become such a huge and necessary part of her life, that she didn’t want to imagine her life without him.

“He knows,” she croaked. “About the rebellion. He caught me meeting with Tharion and he overheard …” She trailed off. Jesiba wasn’t reacting. Which meant she’d already heard about it from Tharion. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”

“Against my better judgment, I like you. I will never recognize you as my queen, but … I am pleased that you are leading the witches.”

Hypaxia didn’t reply, not sure if the admission was a veiled slight against her mother.

“Hel,” Jesiba went on with a harsh laugh, “I even like Danaan. You two are a good match.”

“Then why? Why refuse me every time I asked to bring him in?”

“I should think that is clear. Though, maybe my reputation has outgrown itself. I may be a coldhearted bitch, but I’m not entirely heartless.” After a pause, she said, “I knew you were growing close to him. Even if his role in this won’t be borne out for several years, making you live with that knowledge was not my first choice. With the loss of your mother still fresh, I didn’t think you should have to deal with another death.”

Another death.

Unbidden, a memory of her mother consumed Hypaxia. It was from shortly after she’d been diagnosed with her illness. Queen Hecuba didn’t look sick, which made the news harder to bear. And she didn’t seem concerned about the death sentence she’d just been given. Instead, she was calm and cool, like always, smiling at her daughter.

You will get through this, her mother had said, insisting on comforting others instead of seeking it. There will be worse to come. More battles to fight. But you will prevail. And at the end, you will not be alone.

At the time, she hadn’t considered that what her mother was saying might be prophetic. But now, she knew. It had been a vision. And while the words seemed vague, to a witch’s ears, they were anything but. From a mother to a daughter, the deeper meanings were obvious.

She blinked to find Jesiba still staring at her. Still examining her. There was no attempt to probe her mind again, just genuine curiosity. And anticipation.

“That’s not going to happen,” Hypaxia said forcefully, expecting some sort of dismissal. But Jesiba just smiled. What Hypaxia had once seen as contempt on the witch’s face, she now saw as respect. It was still that of an elder towards a student, a superior to an inferior. But it was there, genuine and appreciated. And it made her sit a little straighter.

“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear,” Jesiba said. “Bring him in. And do whatever the Hel it takes to get around that damn blade prophecy and make sure he lives. I’ll get you access to all of my resources.” Seemingly without thinking, Jesiba added, “You’re not the only one who would be devastated by his death.”

Bryce, Hypaxia realized, feeling stupid for not making the connection sooner. The only person Jesiba seemed to care about, despite her ridiculous threats to turn the woman into whatever low creature struck her fancy.

Jesiba rose to leave and reached the door as Hypaxia said, “Wait. If he agrees to become involved, I’m not hiding anything from him. He will be told everything.”

The witch shrugged. “That’s your call.” But her eyes narrowed and the air seemed to crackle around them in warning. “Telling Bryce is mine.” And with that, she was gone.

Under her breath, Hypaxia said, “You could have at least given me an idea of how to tell him.” Then, with a deep sigh, “Fuck.”

To be continued...

*****

Tagging @itach-i @queen-of-glass

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[rufousnmacska]

Secrets and Confessions Part 3

A Crescent City Ruhn-Hypaxia fic

Things have just begun to settle down since the demon attack on Lunathion. But nothing is back to normal. Two archangels are dead and the asteri have yet to name successors. Certain House leaders and lower members have been making plans of their own as a rebellion against the angels begins to form. The mer, witches, shifters, humans, even some from Hel are secretly in contact with each other. All are wondering if and how to involve the fae. The newly crowned witch queen knows a certain fae prince that she thinks can be trusted. And might be vital to their success. The fact that his father hoped to arrange a marriage alliance between them, or that he is distractingly handsome … well, those shouldn’t interfere with her work. No, not at all. 

Part 1 (only on AO3)

Part 2

***

Part 3

***

Ruhn woke to the sound of a shower running and a song being hummed. The melody was unfamiliar, but the occasional words and the long, low notes made him think it was an old song. Perhaps some ballad only witches knew. Smiling, he lay still, listening to Hypaxia’s voice resonate through her small apartment. He felt no rush to move, though the thought of joining her entered his mind. If not for her busy day ahead, he would have.

A few months had passed since their first dinner. And while she’d been away for days at a time during those weeks, whenever she was back in Lunathion, he’d spend the nights here. They made due with their phones when they were separated, texting and talking.

He hated the constant leaving, but he found he enjoyed those interactions over the phone. It felt like they were taking things slowly, like he was getting to know her on a deeper level. And she was drawing things from him that he probably wouldn’t talk about in person. All this despite the fact that he was with her almost every night when she was in the city.

Looking around her bedroom, sparsely furnished with simple pieces and a subdued color scheme of greens and blues – to remind her of the forests where she grew up? – Ruhn cringed at the thought of Hypaxia in his house. Even if he had it cleaned from floor to ceiling, had all the damage from parties repaired, something about having her stay there felt wrong. He didn’t think she’d care. But he would. He was starting to care about a lot of things he never gave a thought to before.

Mostly his drinking and the drugs. He hadn’t given up those vices completely. And she hadn’t asked him to. It was just … this feeling he had that he wanted to try and be better in some ways. Hypaxia wasn’t the only force behind this new leaf. Reconnecting with Bryce was making him want to change some things too.

The downside, to both relationships, was the thing he was caring too much about. The Oracle’s prophecy that he’d be the end of the royal bloodline was haunting him more and more often these days. He fucking hated wasting time on it, but it always popped up, gnawing at him during the most unexpected times. Like right now. 

Hypaxia turned off the water but continued humming.

Should he tell her? Or did she already know somehow? If he did tell her, was that implying he saw a future with her? She’d told him at the Summit that wasn’t something she was interested in. Had her mind changed? Or was this just a fling to her? What was it to him? Besides something new and exciting. And, increasingly, a big part of his life …

Sitting up and running his hands through his hair, he swore under his breath. He was acting like a teenager for fuck’s sake.

Hearing her walk back into the room, he regained his composure and turned to find her wearing only a big blue towel. He should have gotten in the shower, the Hel with her meetings.

As if reading his mind, she smiled apologetically and said, “I’m running late. You’re bad for my normal eight hours of sleep.”

Ruhn just laughed, thinking that he might be getting more sleep now than he used to. She turned to her closet and began to pull out clothes to change into. Noticing the time, he jumped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. “Tea or coffee?”

“Oh, I suppose coffee today,” she called back.

After starting the coffee, he rummaged through the refrigerator to pull out some jam for the muffins he’d brought with him the night before. He sucked at cooking food, but he was great at buying it. He’d even tracked down a little shop that sold cloudberry jam, something that was hard to find outside the Heliruna Mountains. She came out a few minutes later and sat at the little table where he’d set up her breakfast.

Taking a sip of still steaming coffee, she moaned and said, “You’re forgiven for keeping me up so late.”

He leaned against the counter and watched her eat.

“Aren’t you hungry?” she asked.

Ruhn didn’t hold back on the grin he gave her, loving the sight of the red blush that crept over her cheeks. “I’m fine,” he said, deciding against taking her back to bed. She was a queen after all. It would be bad form for her to show up to an important meeting with the angels twenty minutes late. Or an hour. Or two.

That was one way this arrangement was frustrating. When she was in the city, her days were full, either in her role as queen or as a medwitch. She still kept the clinic open, though only for appointments. He wished they had a few days just to themselves. But he understood. His schedule for the Aux allowed for little free time.

Hypaxia ate quickly. As she gathered her things, he said, “I don’t like that you don’t have a security detail. You’re royalty. Surely there’s a queen’s guard.”

She gave him a smile that he couldn’t read. “There was for my mother, and now for special events. But for every day, I can handle myself.”

He knew that. She had her own set of magical skills aside from her already impressive ability to heal. That didn’t mean he liked it. Things were calm right now. But he knew, they all knew, it wouldn’t last. There still wasn’t an archangel in charge. Isiah was fine, keeping things in order and making sure the city ran smoothly. But he was a temp, waiting each day for the announcement about his replacement. None of that really bothered Ruhn, except there were rumblings that a rebellion was taking shape. Dec had dug around, unsuccessfully, for any intelligence that might suggest who was involved. Even Flynn’s spy network came up empty. When he had to give his father updates, he was sure to keep the annoyance off his face. The Autumn King was pissed by the lack of intel only because that left him out of the loop, which left him unable to control everything. His father wasn’t quiet about his desire to rule instead of the angels, at least around his son. Ruhn was pissed because he wanted to help. Not to hand the city over to his father. No fucking way would he take part in that. He just wanted the angels, the psychotic ones anyway, gone. Micah and Sandriel were a huge first step. But they were child’s play compared to the asteri.

“Dinner?” she asked.

Ruhn sighed. “I’m on duty tonight.”

Hypaxia’s brow creased slightly as she leaned in to kiss him goodbye. “Be careful.”

“I can handle myself, your majesty.” She wrinkled her nose before smiling. “I know this really talented medwitch I can call if I get into trouble.” He kissed her again, then watched her leave.

*****

As Hypaxia unlocked her door and entered her apartment – empty, dark, quiet – she realized how quickly she’d gotten used to Ruhn being here. The thought bothered her.

Not because she’d come to see they were a good match. And not because she was scared of her growing feelings for him.

His absence was a problem because it reminded her of how precarious this situation was becoming. For some reason, the other rebel leaders were still dragging their feet about bringing Ruhn into their ranks. With each day that passed, each week and then month of keeping this secret … all the while falling for him … The guilt was beginning to weigh upon her, more heavily than even her mother’s crown.

This time, the thought that sprang to mind made her smile. The cloudberry jam Ruhn had brought here for their too few breakfasts together. She’d never told him it was her favorite, and he likely got it because of the red and gold crown she wore for official events. Like so many other things with him, he’d probably guessed. But he guessed right.

Her magic and premonitions told her the connection building between them was not a thing to be taken lightly. Which made her deception all the more difficult.

A part of her kept saying he’d understand. Ruhn was intelligent and politically savvy. He would understand why her involvement with the rebellion would be risky to discuss. Even with him.

But another part, the part that was growing ever louder with each passing day, was worried he would only see it through a lens of trust. From their late night conversations when she was traveling, she’d quickly gathered that letting people in wasn’t easy for him. Learning she was deceiving him, even if it was at the order of the other leaders and not by her own choice … she didn’t want to imagine his reaction.

Just as she was about to get something to eat, her phone rang. She found herself smiling, expecting his face on the screen. But it wasn’t Ruhn.

“Can you meet tonight? In the usual spot?” Tharion asked.

They all had a complex web of spellwork on their phones to keep prying eyes and ears away, but they still had to be careful. The “usual spot” was near the River Gate, so that Tharion wouldn’t have far to go out of the water. And it was a public park without a lot of cameras  leaving some rare blindspots in this city of constant surveillance. Hypaxia hesitated for a moment, wondering where Ruhn’s Aux duties took him in the city.

“Hello?” The mer sounded annoyed, which didn’t bode well for a quick meet up.

“Yes,” she said, trying not to return the mood. “Half an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

She glanced at the half empty box of pastries as she turned toward the door. And made a decision. To Hel with it. She trusted Ruhn, and needed his help. Tomorrow, she would tell him everything.

Hypaxia was at the small park before Tharion arrived. Pretending to be on an evening walk, she found a secluded bench and sat, waiting while she pulled out her phone. She didn’t need to pretend to look busy. She was still getting used to the countless red tape and little fires that needed to be put out that came with being queen. All the years of training and education, which she was immensely grateful for, had not prepared her in every way for ruling. Many of her mother’s advisors had continued on to serve her. But there were enough empty positions that needed to be filled that some days felt as though she’d been drowned in paperwork. The bureaucracy of the angels was an entirely different headache. As she scrolled through her messages, she allowed herself a short daydream about a day off.

The dream was indeed short lived, as Tharion appeared behind her and sat close by.

Their conversation was terse and quiet, exchanging only necessary details and updates. Some new shifters had joined the cause, and the rebels would be meeting next week to consider making inroads into the human groups fighting on the far continent.

Hypaxia couldn’t hide her annoyance. These were things that could have been sent by coded messages. It didn’t warrant an in person meeting. Letting the stress get to her, she asked, “And what about Ruhn? When can we bring him in?”

Tharion frowned. “My queen says no. Jesiba said no. I’m still working on them.”

She swore under her breath. “This is ridiculous. We need him. The prophecy says-”

“I know what it says. I know what they all say,” Tharion countered. “I’m trying. I don’t know why they’re resisting. Maybe because of his father. But it’s clear to me, he’s no lap dog to the Autumn King.”

“No, he’s not.”

The deep voice that was not Tharion’s froze her to the core.

Hypaxia spun around to see Ruhn only a few yards away.

“Fuck,” Tharion growled, standing and moving to block her from the hellish glare emanating from those normally kind blue eyes. “Danaan, this isn’t what you think.”

Ruhn barked out a humorless laugh. Despite the presence of the large mer between them, Hypaxia still felt his stare. Cutting and cold and hurt.

“I overheard enough to know it’s exactly what I think it is,” Ruhn said. “What I’m unclear about is why? I don’t have shit for magic. I’m apparently not trustworthy.” Tharion tried to interrupt but Ruhn told him to fuck off. The mer shut up but didn’t move.

Hypaxia was still frozen and silent. And she knew that was making things infinitely worse. If this had been some sort of lover’s tryst she’d been caught in, she didn’t think he’d be as upset. But this betrayal … this cut Ruhn deeper than anything else that could have happened.

Regaining her thoughts, her surroundings, her self, Hypaxia stood and walked around Tharion. She wasn’t prepared for the full force of his anger, and flinched away from it. His face fell even further at her reaction. She knew, through her healing abilities, she could sense his emotions, and knew what was coming.

You’ve been using me.

It wasn’t a question. And those were the words she’d feared since this all began. Since she’d thrown all her sensibility and caution to the wind and told him to call her.

Keeping me close, leashed like a dog, for when you needed me. For another fucked up prophecy.

No! Please Ruhn.

Her eyes were filling with tears as she tried to decide if she should tell him the truth, that she was falling in love with him. Or should she let him go? For his own good.

Tharion was staring back and forth between them, clueless about the telepathic communication, and unwilling to give them any privacy. His knowledge of their growing relationship was minimal, but he wasn’t an idiot. He’d seen the way Ruhn watched her at the Summit. Had even kept a tally of how often the starborn prince looked her way.* She didn’t want an audience, but he refused to leave.

That’s not true. I’m not with you to trick you into anything. I care about you.

“Bullshit,” Ruhn said with another dark laugh. His face seemed to clear of all emotions, a calm, uncaring mask put firmly in place. Before turning to leave, he said, “Don’t bother calling.”

Before she could say anything more, he disappeared into shadows and was gone.

As her legs threatened to give out, Hypaxia went back to the bench and practically fell onto it.

“Shit,” Tharion said, over and over, with other curses mixed in. When he turned to find her looking as if she’d been punched in the gut – more like her heart – he ran over. “Sorry.” She sniffed and wiped away some tears. “Shit,” he repeated. “I didn’t know you and him were …” He had the grace not to continue.

“He and I,” she said, twisting around to stare into the darkness where Ruhn had just been standing.

Tharion swore again, then said, “Okay. Let’s get you home. Give him a little time and then ignore that part about not calling him. He’s mad, but he’s not stupid.”

Hypaxia nodded her head numbly. What the Hel had just happened? She felt shell-shocked. One minute, she was imagining where she and Ruhn might go to escape all their responsibilities, if only for a day or two. And the next … her chest was cracked open, she couldn’t breathe, and she had no one to blame but herself.

Tharion was right. Ruhn wasn’t dumb. Which was why she knew he would not answer, no matter how many times she called.

*****

He’d been useless the rest of his patrol, keeping himself apart from the others so he wouldn’t explode in rage at them. Ultimately, unsurprisingly, he’d failed at that, blowing up at Declan when he innocently mentioned the rebels.

Alone in his room, empty bottles around him, smoke hanging in the air, chasing a high that might pull him up from this endless bottom, Ruhn couldn’t get her out of his head. Every word, every look, every expression ran on a loop. There was a faint voice telling him that in this state, he could analyze each second he’d spent with her and she’d look guilty as Hel.

“Fuck you”, he told it, turning his music up louder.

But the voice didn’t melt away with the rest of his senses. It just started unloading more truths.

He was a rare starborn fae with hardly any power for light. Instead, he dealt in shadows and mind-reading.

He would be the end of his family bloodline. By choice, by violence, by rebellion, he didn’t know.

He was chosen to wield the starsword but it called to his sister. Had their shared blood attracted it to begin with? Was it using him to get to her?

Just like his father used him. Never treated him like a son. Never loved him.

And now Hypaxia.

He refused to let that thought continue. Refused to think of the L word in association with her.

Ruhn laughed, deep and without humor, the sound foreign and chilling him to the bone.

They could use him all they wanted. None of it fucking mattered since he wasn’t really the Chosen One anyway. He was powerless, a blight on his family, a placeholder. A fucking idiot for thinking himself worthy of her.

Finally, the drugs seemed to take hold and he felt himself falling, floating, spinning. Cranking the music up, he concentrated on the freedom of no longer caring.

*****

My fanfic master list on tumblr and my writing on AO3 (mostly manorian with a little nessian)

Thanks for reading! If you’d like to be tagged, let me know :)

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*Full disclosure - Tharion counting the number of times he caught Ruhn watching Hypaxia during the summit was not my idea. It’s from this post by @sarcasticbookdragon and I love it!