#(( and have needlessly strong opinions on them ))

[starlightintheirwake]

Armand said: it was avant-garde. it was french cinema. (daniel)

Yeah, yeah, every weirdo cinephile's got full wood for the New French Extremity thing. Daniel was there, too. He gets it- duh, it's right up Daniel Molloy's alley- but can everybody come off the nose in the air about it?

"I don't know, Armand," Daniel says, and picks up a DVD copy of Lars von Trier's Antichrist from the old box of Daniel's edgelord shit Armand dug up. Willem Dafoe's body double's magnum dong had been the star of the show, he recalls about that one, and not much else, "I think von Trier is just edgy." Gaspar Noe is definitely high on his own farts.

"We need to get you on some John Waters," Daniel decides. Waters has the attitude right. Taste is a terrible thing to have. "Embrace that you're rolling around in trash."

@devourcr

[bigfatbimbo]

Take a Bite

1.5k words,, Bill Cipher x Reader

summary — Bill and the reader have sex, which has proven to be very difficult seeing as he isn’t doing anything, and, of course, things are never easy with that insufferable brat.

warnings — SMUT, bill being annoying and toxic, dom!reader, sub!Bill, heavy pain kink, bill’s human form, the fat fuck not the twink

a/n — Admittedly, this fic only happened because I never see Bill sub in fanfics and i’m very interested in what the dynamic would be. You’d be like… domming with a risk of death.

“Well, slick,” Bill leaned back and gestured up and down his body, “Give it your all.”

Amusement was thick in his voice, along with bubbling giddiness. He fumbled with the seams on his pants, not out of nervousness, but as if he had forgotten how to take them off and was looking for some kind of zipper. One, admittedly, that he would not find on slacks. 

“Wow, human clothes are just as bad as the fleshbags. So needlessly complicated,” He sounded on the verge of a laughing fit, “Oh, and toots? Before you dig in, remember to leave marks. I wanna see how durable this thing is.” 

His amusement was not matched on your part. The situation invoked dull curiosity at best, in your opinion. The idea of harboring a wanted criminal, ex-overlord, god-like demon in your house challenged your idea of a good time. Having sex with that demon was even harder to swallow.

Then again, any situation with bill warranted an ungodly amount of stress. 

“Whatcha’ thinking about over there, sweet-cheeks?”

You smiled at that; of the few advantages you have, being in gravity falls for weirdmageddon proved to be one of them. You know of his powers, and with that, vague guesses on how to prevent them.

Tinfoil-lined bobbie pins were one of them. A guess, granted, but a good one at that. Really, not that complicated when you recall every alien movie you’ve ever watched. 

“Upset you can’t tell?” 

He laughed, “Upset for you, maybe. Trust me, it’d be so much easier for both of us if I could just read your thoughts. I’m already your roommate, how much closer could we ge- Ah.”

You brushed his pants crotch, and began to unbutton. For all his mightiness, the guy couldn’t work pants. “Careful, human body’s are touchy.” 

“Touchy,” He repeated, “Tell me about.” 

Getting his pants off was a task harder than it should have been, no thanks to Bill, who seemed to have taken to just lying there, occasionally flicking you, and then himself. 

When you finally peeled all of his clothes off, you warned him to brace himself, to which he ignored you. On top of that, the entire time Bill had been talking, droning on about ‘the last time he’d been in a human body.’

You wondered vaguely if he’d ever done this with someone else. In the time he’d been at your house he’d mentioned some ‘sixer’ ex-thing-ish of his. But you doubt he’d done anything with him.

As he’d mentioned, he hadn’t perfected his human form until very recently. Perfected is a strong word, he was pudgy and short, remanisent of a human peanut. And his teeth were terrible. 

Either way, you’d gotten him ready, and began your work. Laying a light finger on the tip of his dick, and running it down the base of his length, you got Bills first reaction: a short sniff.

Recovering fast, he adjusted his seat, “Yeah, tick tock, toots. This better be good.” 

It was his idea, you thought, but continued. Your fingers wrapped around the entirety of his cock and you began to stroke it. 

A sigh left Bills mouth, “Oh, this does have a kick to it. Maybe you’re not so bad, after all.”

Over the course of the next few minutes, you’d grow angrier and angrier. Although you were clearing making him feel good, he’d never shut his snide mouth for two seconds. 

“Jesus, slow down, pal— I just perfected this flesh-bag, at this rate your gonna break something—“ 

You didn’t realize how much your hand sped up. You thought for a moment, before completely stopping. Bill looked taken aback.

“Hey! what’s the—“

Without warning you grabbed his dick with full force and squeezed. He yelped, before giggling at the hurt.

This made you more mad, “God, do you ever shut up? I wish you’d lost your voice when you lost Gravity Falls.”

He stopped giggling. “I’d watch what you say, if I was you, kid.”

You threw your head back and laughed, running your hand slowly up his dick and then slamming back to the base of his cock. Finally, a reaction other than knowing bliss: anger. Weakness.

“Oh dear god, rearrange the features of my face then, Billy. See if I give a shit when you don’t have a place to live.”

His face turned red with rage, and he recoiled at the mention of your upperhand. And then, finally, at the slowing of your hand, a small, wavering whimper. 

You both caught it, and he was quick to put a hand of his mouth, “Sensitive human bodies - Hey, don’t look at me like that, that was not my fault.”

“God, you’re such a brat.”

“Oh please, what are you gonna do about it?” And he was completely serious.

Without much hesitation, you took the moment as an opportunity to abruptly sink yourself onto his dick. He sucked in a breath but you didn’t give him much time to do anything else.

“Ah- Now we’re talki—“ You slapped him hard across the face, and grabbed his cheeks with your hand, squishing them together, mockingly. Stifled laughter from Bill. 

“This is the form you spent all that time perfecting? I can barely feel anything. It’s worthless!” You sped up riding him, loosening your face to give the illusion you were bored, “You’re worthless.” 

His eyebrows arched down and his eyes widened, “I can kill you with a snap of my fingers! You think I need this sex— You think I need this hous— ah, ah—“

The unknown pleasure was getting to him, making his brain foggier than usual, and it was showing. Human senses were a key factor in your ability to keep the high-ground. Just as long as it felt good enough, he wouldn’t go back to his original form and… well. 

You wondered vaguely if you were actually going to be in mortal parole after this. But then again, the look on his face was almost euphoric, despite the anger. Thankfully, Bill was selfish, he’d probably chase the high again

You sighed, “Oh, you do need this house, Billy. Where else would you go? Everyone else in town has already forgotten about you, and your little maniac friends are no where to be seen.”

You sped up once more as your hands danced up his body, and continued, “With this whole out-of-sight-out-of-mind routine, i’m giving you something you won’t be getting anywhere else: attention.”

“You— Ah, curse this feeble human body! I’ll make your life a living hell-“ He whined, actually whined. 

Slamming yourself down on him, he cried out and then scowled. You raked your nails down his chest, deep enough to bleed, drawing out a  giggle from Bill as he felt the littlest bit of blood start to pool.

“You’re lucky this meatbag is— ah— funny enough—“ He was cut off with a gargle as a your hand sharply wrapped around his throat, and squeezed tight. 

“It’s not luck, i’m good at what I do, Billy. Not that you would know what that’s like, you pathetic shitbag,” although that insult wasn’t particularly true, you didn’t give him a chance to snap back, and instead put your other hand on his neck as well. 

You rode him with more speed than ever now. His eyes fluttered open and shut slowly, and he leaned into your hands. 

His face flushed, but a dreamy smile spread to the edges of his face as you made sure to leave bruise marks on his throat, still slamming against him. 

Although, you didn’t want to actually break him, so when his face began to turn purple, you let go. He gasped for air and let out a raspy, crazed giggle that went on for too long, and ending in a moan.

“I’m— “ Bills eyebrows furrowed, as if he was trying to decipher what the amusing thing the human body had planned next, “Somethings— somethings happening.”

His voice was broken, neck bruised, cheek red with a slap mark, eyes foggy, and chest bleeding from your nails. 

Before you dig in, remember to leave marks. I wanna see how durable this thing is.

Clearly you’d kept your end of the deal, and from what you’ve gathered it was time for the finale. You chased your own climax now as well, even though, admittedly, you hadn’t been thinking about it the whole session.

Annoying as it was that Bill still managed to make something all about him —and he definitely knew, mind reading or not— you still kept up your pace. 

“You’re close?” 

He smiled blissfully, and nodded.

What the hell. You smiled, “Good boy.”

His reaction was… startling. He leaned his head back, let out a small half-whine half-laugh, and arched off the bed. Finally, he released.

[acourtofthought]

Some on the other side seem to have misunderstood my post from yesterday.

If Elain wants to reject the bond then it's fine. Rejecting her bond doesn't make her weak, it's her right to do so and a reader can support that decision, can even applaud it.

However Elain hasn't rejected her bond. She hasn't had a book which means you don't know who her endgame person is. Because of that she's has not defied fate yet some are acting like she already has. Lucien is still her mate, she's his and there is not a single character in the ACOTAR that believes them to have a rejected bond.

Some are applauding Elain during Elain Week, a week to to celebrate her character, for something she hasn't even done. For a Fated Mates author, chances are strong she never will. I'll say it again, if some still think Elucien can't be endgame despite their current setup, I'd like to point you in the direction of 99.9999% of other Fated Mates stories.

Elain is currently hiding from her bond, from Lucien. That is not Strength or Bravery, it's Elain being afraid. Afraid of how it makes her feel, afraid of how fate decided something for her, afraid of something else, take your pick. She's currently avoiding having a real conversation with Lucien which yes, she owes him. Throw your real world opinions of "women don't owe men an explanation!" out the window because this isn't your real life. This isn't nice guy Tommy from down the street who isn't taking the hint of your disinterest.

This is a novel and Elain and Lucien were given a connection that you will never see in your lifetime, a magical link to the other ones soul.

She does owe him an explanation and a decision on what she wants or doesn't want from him. Don't like it? Take it up with the author who wrote the rules of her fantasy world. Her ignoring Lucien is not enough for a character with a magical connection to her to "take the hint and move on".

Sarah is the one who wrote Elain hiding from her bond and the others acknowledging it as the elephant in the room. She is the one who wrote Elain as refusing to say to Lucien "I don't want you and I want him instead".

That would be Elain showing bravery. Vocalizing to her Mate what she wants, not her sister while she was still mourning her fiance and after Feyre made a comment about entitlement. Of course she doesn't owe Lucien her time, he doesn't feel she does. Yet she continues quietly taking his gifts (a little odd right? Accepting gifts from a mate you don't want anything to do with?) stashing them god knows where and allowing him to suffer rather than having a conversation with him about no longer holding out hope for her, for them.

Elain is good and kind, she is loving. Yet some honestly believe she's just heartlessly and needlessly allowing Lucien to keep coming around for no reason at all since they believe it's a done deal. She doesn't want him, will never want him, yet she somehow can't use her voice to say that. She had no issues speaking up to Nesta in SF, Sarah had no issues with writing a bonus showing Elain returning Az's gift yet Elain must have her own book and pov to reject her mate which she's apparently wanted to do for years now but just did not. Because it's somehow more girl boss that way?

Because she felt it was necessary to leave him with a glimmer of hope for two years by not rejecting him before that despite always knowing it's what she wanted?

The e/riel version of Elain being badass is not my Elain and not the Elain that Sarah has written.

Elain insisting they help Feyre help others was girl boss.

Elain standing up to Nesta in SF was girl boss.

Elain returning Az's necklace after he chose to call her a mistake was girl boss.

Elain refusing to look Lucien in the eye or have a conversation with him when she's supposed to be so confident that she doesn't want him makes her a bit of a coward right now.

[mushangaa]

Metal

2024/02 (full view) Water | Earth | Metal

Frida, the oldest, her element is Metal and boy does she know how to use it in combat. But instead of cold grey I went with a more loving interpretation. And Bismuth vibes. Iridescent Bismuth has all them colours of her sibs in it too. I talked a bit about her element in relation to Raphaels element (fire) in this post.

And I shall ramble some more in general under the cut.

I just love Frida, or rather the Frida I cooked up in my head since we never got her properly in rottmnt. She is rather mature and responsible, she has a lot of things to keep on top of on the farm and is very business about it, thankfully she shares that load with Raphael, the other oldest sibling TM. But beneath all that she is also a bit of a gremlin like the rest of the fam, she just grew up a little too fast in some ways, but she has not let go of all of that and beneath her mature ways and responsible behaviour there is still a mischievous lil girl that sometimes will engage with the pranks of the youngest or get into some shit with the twins or convince Raph to shenanigans if she feels he has been wound up to tight lately - or full on brawl with him with reckless abandon since those two can't hurt each other that easily since they are matched in strength so Raph can let go a lil of his control and so can she. And like I dunno how to properly explain it in English but Bismuth gains it's fancy colours when it is subjected to moist air (just like silver turns black after a while and so on) and normally it is just grey and I like to relate that to Frida who is a very dark bluegreen black hue and likes simple clothes and muted colours but on the inside she is just as colourful as the rest of them you just gotta give her room to get out of her shell so to speak and be a little less restrained just like you have to dig up Bismuth for it to become colourful. She also normally does not do dresses, she gets one in her family portrait here but usually she tries to not be too femme on clothes, for one she does not like skirts and dresses too much she has a lot of farm work and loves riding, neither of those make dresses practical to her and she'd hate for her father to buy her fancy stuff only to soil or rip it needlessly. She also kinda really dislikes how she gets treated if she does go with more femme clothing - see she is the oldest daughter and a great deal of their yokai neighbours and those in town have a lot of opinions about that. Like how she is approaching the age of needing to be wed and settle down. Or how she is a bit too headstrong and opinionated for a female. Or how she needs a strong hand to reign her in obviously since her poor wifeless dad obviously raised her too much like his boys and yadda yadda and if she does then lean more into her femininity they are all over that since now that.. that is more proper isn't it? Isn't it better like this? She looks so pretty. Anyway so like Frida does not reject her femininity in general but she totally rejects how people around her define it for her and there have been some hands thrown in the past with neighbour boys who tried to court her and on one beautiful occasion Splinter roundhouse kicked a neighbour through the east wall (which the whole family happily repaired together) of their farmhouse after he made some implications about her biological clock ticking and whatnot and maybe wedding her to one of his sons before nobody wants her no more. That all is to say, Frida doesn't exactly do dressed but she does this dress. She calls it her "dress I own for your funeral if you don't mind ya business"-dress. It has magpie colours and shimmers a bit in light, the bottom part has some white flowing feather like applications in there. She fell in love with that one so Splinter got it for her for the special occasions. Frida also is the only one of her siblings who inherited her dads eyecolour.

[maybeiwasjustjade]

The Tragedy that is the Vanserra family

*I just want to preface this by saying that I’m well aware that this might be a controversial opinion. My issue is simply with how that particular pairing was written, because clearly not a lot of thought was put into it when SJM changed canon to fit this pairing in. This was also not written with the intention of victim blaming. Only that this plot genuinely sucks ass because it makes everyone out as uglier than need be.

For such minor characters (sans Lucien, and Eris to an extent), the dynamics SJM has blessed us with paints such an interesting family coated in absolute tragedy. It also doesn’t help that almost all of it was seen through Feyre’s pov—who’s not exactly reliable nor capable of introspection most times.

All we know so far of Beron and his relationship with his children amounts to:

Aside from Helion and Rhysand, Beron’s the only HL that was active during the war 500 years ago.

He abuses his wife, though when it started is still ???

He routinely tortures Eris, and more than likely all his remaining children

He LOATHES Lucien

And it’s so easy to paint Beron as this needlessly cruel, manipulative 2D bastard who only exists to cause pain and carnage over everyone that breathes near him. The male tortures his children and sentenced one of them to death for falling in love with someone ‘lesser’—that alone makes him the worst male to come out of acotar by a landslide.

But there’s an art to Beron’s cruelty that SJM could have fun with. Routinely siccing and manipulating his children against each other, forever ensuring that they’d be too busy fighting and hating each other over him so that they’d be unable to overthrow him. And maybe he does have his reasons. Maybe he thinks that this is the only way possible to raise an heir that would be ruthless and merciless enough to overthrow him and destroy his competitors—probably the same thing Beron did to claim his throne. And if the children are too busy with each other to go after him…all the better.

Show them no compassion. Torture all the disobedience out of them to make them strong. Pit them against each other to please him. Heinous tactics, but evidently it works when Eris and Lucien are the results of it.

But this dynamic only works if that was who Beron is, and how he was raised to be. I don’t suppose we’ll ever really know, not unless a large chunk of Lucien’s future storyline revolves around his roots in Autumn. But knowing sjm and how dirty she did Spring, Lucien’s arc will be about Day.

But back to Beron and the LoA:

Curious how the LoA is still nameless, but SJM purposely and canonically provided a timeline to show how much of a poor victim the LoA is. I want to make it clear that I am not condoning the abuse the LoA is facing from Beron. I don’t think anyone deserves to be abused or tortured the way Berons does his family, nor will anything justify it.

However, I am side-eyeing the way she WROTE Helion and LoA’s affair. I think what she little she wrote yet specifically gave painted them both as absolute fucking morons.

Canonically, we have no idea if Beron knows without doubt that Lucien isn’t his. Hell, we have no proof that he even knew about Helion at all; only that Helion certainly believes so, and what Feyre perceives as the truth. And that truth is ugly.

My opinion is that for the story to work, Beron can’t have known about Helion specifically. An affair perhaps, but not specifically who. Why? Because I wouldn’t doubt Beron would have killed Helion for it the moment he found out. Helion wasn’t High Lord until <50 years pre-Acotar. If Beron wanted Helion dead for having an affair with his wife, I doubt even the previous HL would have stopped Beron from lobbing of Helion’s head. Now assuming Beron knew about the affair specifically, but not about Lucien, I can see canon coming to fruition.

The only issue is Lucien’s features. He needs to look very, very similar to the LoA and not at all Helion. If Beron knew it was Helion, he’d be paying double attention on Lucien’s features to see who sired him. But say he doesn’t care who did it, only that it did. Lucien was screwed from the getgo as a possible affair baby. But that’s hardly the biggest issue with how the affair was written.

According to Helion’s recount of his affair, it started during the war when he rescued the LoA. Sure, rumor has it they met before her marriage, but it wasn’t until then that it became an actual affair. And it lasted decades. We don’t know how old Lucien is. Most have guessed that he can’t be older than ~400 at series starts. Following the timeline provided by Helion, there’s about 130 years age gap between Eris and Lucien, and five sons between. The LoA had at least two more kids born before the war started, leaving three sans Lucien to be born after.

See where I’m going with this?

If the affair only ended because Beron found out, preferably before Lucien was born or he’d be dead at birth, then on-off or no, that affair lasted a century. My question is: did Beron begin tormenting his wife before or after he found out about the affair? And was he already torturing his children before he found out, or was that punishment for what their mother did?

If Beron only began abusing and assaulting the LoA after Helion, then there’s a chance he only started hurting his sons around that time too. It also begs the question on whether or not Helion sired more than one Vanserra child. Even if the answer was no, it’s not like Beron would believe the LoA. Not after she cuckolded him. So he hurts her as punishment, doubling that pain by going after all their children too.

Lucien especially, for being mama’s favorite. I doubt Beron ever had to do much to encourage the torment Lucien faced from his brothers. He never had to; she did it to him all on her own by loving him best. And in a household where everything is a competition and love a weakness, Lucien was weakest by being the most loved. Oh, how they must’ve loathed him for it. His birth was the reason their lives became a living hell. A mother that perhaps loved them, but not enough if she outright favored the youngest, knowing his existence was their punishment.

But that’s the kinder story, if you can believe it. A female who was never happy, who found happiness outside her wedded husband, and was punished for it terribly. Her cold husband turned cruel bastard, who punished her for the crime of finding joy outside of him and their children. She didn’t know this was going to be her future.

Yet, the alternative is so much worse.

Because it implies that Beron already was a cruel and abusive bastard, who already hurt his wife and children immensely, and the LoA went and had an affair anyway. I can’t blame her for wanting to escape from Beron. Perhaps she was actually happy with Helion. But she did it knowing that the punishment would be so much worse if Beron found out, and he did.

Helion couldn’t have protected her. Claiming Lucien as his son would’ve been a death sentence to both from Beron’s wrath. And with a century long affair, there was no proof that Lucien was the only one that wasn’t Beron’s child. Not unless most of the Vanserras look like their father more, and we don’t even know that because they have no names or features described. And even then, the LoA was lucky that Lucien’s skin tone and features favored her instead.

I don’t care that a woman cheated on her abusive husband repeatedly. You do you, and all that. I care that the LoA is written as knowing what an absolute monster her husband already was to their living children, and clearly not thinking of what he’d do to them if she’s caught. This is Beron—he could’ve killed all their children as punishment. The man tortures his son bloody—I wouldn’t put it past him to kill them all and start fresh. She put them in so much danger by having Lucien.

I don’t like the way Helion knows what a bastard Beron is, yet not caring when he had a century long affair with a HL’s wife, knowing that she might be killed if found out. And he would be powerless to stop it.

I don’t like how neither of them even considered that she might’ve gotten pregnant from their affair, especially knowing that the LoA already had SIX CHILDREN.

I hate how their affair is going to be spun into some kind of romance of the ages, mates who were forcibly separated by a monster, when in reality it’s more like the love story of two morons who didn’t spare a single braincell to actually think before going back to each other often enough to have a whole ass CHILD.

Jfc, SJM definitely didn’t think through enough when she decided to add this into the story. Too many plot holes, and not enough sense to justify the absolute stupidity of cuckolding a High Lord with someone who couldn’t even protect her if they were caught. She wanted drama but spared no thought to logic, per usual.

[lampiche]

An Aventurine-centric analysis of the HSR 2.1 Trailblaze Quest - Part 1

I recently finished the 2.1 Trailblaze quest while farming for Aventurine, and it literally fueled my brain rot about him so I have to share my thoughts. I’m just going to do some analysis of the parts that interested me the most (so almost all the parts with Aventurine lmao) because I felt like the dialogue was very well-made and full of symbolism and devices that helped build his character. I will do it quest by quest because I don’t think a single post can handle all of my thoughts even if I ignore some parts of the quests. I’ll edit the things that must still be verified when I finish the next post. If you have anything to add don’t hesitate to comment! I love hearing other people’s thoughts on stuff like that. Also I hope the formatting isn't too weird... I'm not yet used to how Tumblr works, especially in website mode, so if anyone's got any tips don't hesitate to drop them too!!

Warning : Spoilers for Honkai Star Rail’s 2.1 Trailblaze Quest “Cat Among Pigeons” (in case some people still haven’t played it yet)

Part 1 : Double Indemnity

Memory

???: Land of rock, but not water, lightning, but not rain, blood, but not tears. You beat us with your falling stars, you lash us with wind and storm, you chew us up with the cracked earth…

→ I think “Land of rock, but not water” comes up as some of the floating text when Aventurine is in Clockie Theme Park (Must verify)

2. ???: I don't ask for a peaceful death, just for you to tell me — does the baby swaddled sweetly asleep... does he dream of his mother's heartbeat and the sound of falling rain? Please tell me whether this life is all just a fleeting dream...

→ Appearance of the motif of rain, which is surely important (Explored in quote 4)

→ Talk about dreams and life, obviously a way to make a link with Penacony, but also probably to show Aventurine’s real character and views : he is not one to hide himself in a false world, which is probably also why he’s so fervently opposed to the Family. (In my personal opinion, maybe all this opulence coming from the Family disgusts him because it reminds him that some people live a carefree life while other suffer needlessly)

→ “Please tell me whether this life is all just a fleeting dream…” is pretty interesting when you consider that Aventurine was ready to sacrifice himself because he saw no point in keeping his life. But also, here Kakavasha’s life is referred to as a dream, something not real, probably to set the stage for his luck, which is also pretty unbelievable but affects reality, setting his existence in the real world. Basically it shows that Kakavasha’s life is solidified by his luck since his birth.

3. ???: ...Otherwise, why would this child be born to face impending death...?

→ Another link to Aventurine’s mentality towards the end of the quest. It’s precisely because he sees no point in being born to suffer that he wants to end his life. (It wasn’t said as brutally in the quest, but in my opinion Aventurine is basically suicidal, as shown by other examples that I will address later.)

4. ???: Darling, listen... this is the sound of rain. On the day you were born, the sky also sent down a gift like this from Gaiathra.

→ The motif of rain is back, yoohoo!! Just before that, Kakavasha’s sister says that the “outworlders”, the IPC probably, sent the rain, but Kakavasha’s mother seems to believe otherwise. Maybe it’s a hint that the religious belief wasn’t as strong in Kakavasha’s sister? However, I feel like this theory is debunked in the next memory. (In my opinion, the theme of religious belief and the loss of it is still super important to Aventurine’s character and I’ll talk about it when it comes up.)

→ I also feel like what makes this event all the more incredible is that it shows that everything Kakavasha dreams of, he can have, to a certain extent. Obviously it’s also to show that he’s the real blessing, but I feel like it’s pretty straightforward here. But what I mean by “he can have everything he dreams of” is that thanks to his luck, nothing is really impossible to achieve, whether it’s good or bad, which he probably realised as he grew up and helped fuel his gambler mentality.

5. ???: ...Welcome to this sad world, Kakavasha.

→ Again, another link to Aventurine’s mentality. The world has been nothing but sad and cruel to him, so why was he even born?

Meeting Sunday face-to-face

Okay little disclaimer here, I struggled a lot with that dialogue because right from the beginning, I felt like Sunday and Aventurine were both trying to one-up another, while also talking about two different things, so it made it very confusing for me, but I feel like that was on purpose. So I’ll try to share my thoughts as best as I can.

Sunday: I have come to know you very well as a person, Mr. Aventurine. You're diligent, generous, and willing to cooperate. The fact that you succeeded in overcoming many obstacles just to meet me gave me the reason to believe in your wisdom and courage.

→ I start off with the most hypocritical thing Sunday would have ever said to Aventurine’s face. Here, Sunday is very obviously buttering Aventurine up, maybe to make him (Aventurine) believe that he (Sunday) can be fooled. Or maybe also to mock Aventurine for thinking that he (Sunday) would let himself be tricked so easily. I think these lines set the tone of the discussion. We now know that this is gonna be a passive-aggressive discussion in which neither Sunday nor Aventurine will be honest. This is also most likely a hint that Sunday knows more than he lets on. Because he knows of Aventurine’s strategy thanks to Ratio and has nothing to lose, he plays the exact same game as him (Aventurine).

2. Sunday: But there's one thing I must ask you — that is, you've used your wisdom at the wrong place to meet the wrong person and put yourself in a situation where you shouldn't be... witnessing a tragedy that shouldn't have happened.

Aventurine: You don't look too well. Am I making you anxious?

Aventurine: ...If not, then it means I'm on your side.

→ First thing that confuses me. Here, Sunday is trying to tell Aventurine that he (Aventurine) has the “bad” role, that he’s doing everything he shouldn’t be doing, and is everywhere he shouldn’t be, but Aventurine just ignores him. I had to re-read that part to understand that he (Aventurine) is trying to steer the conversation in his direction. Sunday is telling Aventurine that there will be consequences to his actions and his behaviour, but he (Aventurine) completely brushes him off by being condescending. And although Sunday is only being subtle, I’m sure Aventurine understands the implicit meaning behind his words, since this is a way of talking he’s familiar with. However, whether he’s aware of the risks or blind to them is something I have no answer to. I struggled a lot with that part because it’s difficult to grasp their intentions, but I think that the deal here is that Aventurine wants to take the high-ground in the discussion by ignoring Sunday.

3. Sunday: If I wasn't mistaken, you'd just made a serious accusation against The Family.

Aventurine: You weren't mistaken, for depravity is creeping in around you.

Aventurine: There's no need for us to be evasive. Let's talk about your sister. Your sister's talent is unrivaled in the world of show business. As you know, her voice has been out of tune since she returned to Penacony. What's more disheartening, she can't sing anymore.

→ Another episode of Aventurine ignoring Sunday to lead the conversation his way. Here, it seems even more ridiculous to me, because Sunday is basically telling him that his actions won’t go unpunished, even if he’s once again not explicit, but he (Aventurine) doesn’t care. He justifies his actions by being condescending and looking down on Sunday, hence the sentence “for depravity is creeping in around you.”. What’s more, he wants to talk about a subject that doesn’t make sense. Why talk about Robin except to say she was a victim? Here, Aventurine is starting his tacting of “fear” that he mentioned to Ratio earlier. Also, more hypocrisy with “There’s no need for us to be evasive” even though he will be only that afterwards.

4. Aventurine: Who could be responsible for this? Many suspect the culprit is among the outsiders, but I know... you hold a different opinion.

Aventurine: Now, your noble status has become a shackle, preventing you from apprehending the murderer and avenging your sister's death. You're feeling anxious because you're out on a limb.

→ Here’s one of my favourite parts. Here, Aventurine doesn’t outright say there’s a traitor in the Family, because it’s too big of an accusation to say without any proof, so he resorts to being as implicit as possible. Here he’s directly contradicting his “There’s no need for us to be evasive” line that was only meant for show. Also, he assumes things about Sunday’s situation, clearly to try and make him afraid, while still being as implicit as possible. However, it’s very likely that he doesn’t actually know what Sunday is thinking or can/can’t do, he’s just bluffing. He’s also very very condescending in these lines.

5. Aventurine: But don't worry. I am on your side.

Sunday: I'm immensely honored by your concern for me Mr. Aventurine — since you're so selfless and generous, I believe you wouldn't ask for anything in return, would you?

→ These guys literally cannot talk to each other normally. Anyway, here they’re both big hypocrites and super condescending with each other. Also, at this point we start noticing that Sunday’s pretty much not phased by Aventurine’s “fear” tactic, which hints at the fact that he expected it, or at the very least has enough control over his situation to not have to fear anything or anyone.

6. Aventurine: Naturally, you wouldn't incur any loss from this. I just want to reclaim what is mine: my liberty, and the personal items under The Family's custody — the bag of gift money, and...

→ I love the first sentence. Aventurine is particularly good at twisting words and sentences to appeal to the ears, and this dialogue really shows all of his prowess as a Stoneheart. He says everything to please, while also finding a way to turn the situation to his advantage, even though it doesn’t work in this particular dialogue.

7. Aventurine: I'm sure you're aware of the high level of risk I'll be undertaking to bring the truth to light.

→ Yet another sentence that makes no sense. In the dialogue, it doesn’t say anything nor serve anything, it’s another one of Aventurine’s tactics. He’s desperately trying to get a hold of the conversation, to have the desired effect on Sunday, so he says things that don’t mean anything, that just hint at things, that leave enough space for doubt to linger in the mind of the person in front of him. Unfortunately, Sunday is already one step ahead, and it doesn’t faze him at all.

8. Sunday: Mr. Aventurine, when you're out and about, do you always make adjustments to your appearance? Your tie should be on the center line, your shirt must not protrude from your vest, your trouser creases should be perfectly straight, and always aligned with the tips of your shoes.

Aventurine: Of course.

Sunday: But I don't, because it's not appropriate to do so in public — you should make sure everything is presentable and in order before leaving the house.

→ I know that this analogy is Sunday’s way of telling Aventurine that he (Sunday) doesn’t like to take risks, but I feel like it also serves another purpose. This seems like an implicit jab at Aventurine’s attempts to take control of the conversation once more, as if Sunday is mocking him for trying to tie the loose ends during the discussion, whereas he (Sunday) came completely prepared. (In my opinion, this is yet another hint that Sunday is one step ahead of Aventurine, but yet again, this is all very implicit.)

9. Aventurine: ...Sure. The gift money is good enough. I suppose you wouldn't mind that? After all, a merchant can't function without a bargaining chip.

Sunday: You compromised quicker than I thought. Unfortunately, it's a gambler that needs a bargaining chip... not a merchant. I can give you your gift money, but before that, I want you to tell me —

→ I don’t have a full answer to the question “What is the difference between gambler and merchant in relation to Aventurine?” but it dwells on my mind nonetheless. Aventurine refers to himself as a merchant again later (Must verify) but this dialogue is the only moment where he’s called out for it. So, why? Merchant here seems too… plain. Not risky enough for Aventurine. A merchant sells, but it’s mostly honest and without any lies, which matches with the image Aventurine usually gives out : he’s someone trustworthy, just agree to work with him and it’ll be good for you. However, Sunday sees through that facade easily, and denies Aventurine’s false honesty and care. Gambler is almost used as an accusation here, like Sunday is calling Aventurine out on his lies. And indeed, Aventurine does fit the image of the gambler : he’s reckless, enjoys the thrill of the risk, and doesn’t hesitate to play dirty. Even Ratio refers only to him as “gambler”. As for the bargaining chip… it probably fits the gambler more because a gambler is someone who’s in a difficult position and needs a way to escape, to change the tides, which will be Aventurine’s case soon.

10. Sunday: "Oh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear his tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that he will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows."

→ Nothing special here, except that it’s quite interesting that Xipe is referred to as the “Triple-Faced Soul” and Gaiathra Triclops is a goddess with three eyes. But it’s most likely just a way to make a parallel between Sunday’s and Aventurine’s beliefs and how the former pushes his Aeon’s creed on the latter. Especially since the Avgins believe making any offering other than saying the prayer is tainting Gaiathra Triclops’ name, whereas the Family is actively nurturing a dream city all in the name of their Aeon. Additionally, here Sunday associates Xipe’s name is with acts of torture nonchalantly, which shows that the Family probably commits horrible acts that they justify with the name of the Harmony regularly. (In my opinion this is another reason why Aventurine dislikes the Family and Penacony as a whole.)

11. Dr. Ratio: You'll have to speak more clearly than that.

12. Aventurine: ...You might as well explain yourself a little more clearly.

→ Adding these two together even though the first one was said during the flashback with Ratio and Sunday, because I thought the similarities were interesting. Put together, these two lines really make it seem like Sunday tricked Ratio and Aventurine by pitching them against each other. Still, Aventurine’s line is obviously less assertive because he doesn’t have any possibility to back out, unlike Ratio had.

13. Aventurine: Is this what the Harmony represents? Is it built upon constraint and coercion?

→ Here’s a line that convinces me that Aventurine despises the Family. He mimics Sunday, who says the Harmony’s name to justify his doings, and calls him out on his hypocrisy. It isn’t a real argument, it seems more like a sudden burst of Aventurine’s hatred for the ways of the Family, but it definitely sets the stage for the opposition between Sunday’s and Aventurine’s beliefs more clearly.

14. Sunday: Should you succeed, you will be able to coalesce into the Harmony and be with your Family. If you fail, you will suffer the wrath of the Eternal Centurion and fall into an abyss of doom.

→ That line… That line man… The first sentence is amazing. Throughout the whole quest, I feel like there's this recurring theme of Aventurine being stripped from everything he has, and this is definitely part of it. There’s something so oppressive and sickening about the fact that if he fails, then the last bit of himself, of Kakavasha, which is his memories of his family, will be overridden by his Family. And I say his Family because Sunday says your Family and not the Family. And while technically it’s the same, the fact that Sunday says “your” really makes the situation fully set in stone. Even if Aventurine is free, he has already been stripped away of all the connections he has to his true self. Even his belief in Gaiathra Triclops, which is unique to his clan, is going to be submerged by the words of an Aeon he does not believe in. Even worse, his beliefs will be overridden by the words of a faction that justifies their violence and lies with the name of their Aeon. This is a fate worse than death for Aventurine, because it wipes out his being, his existence, everything that makes him himself. This is literally akin to being a slave once more. Anyway these are the most hurtful lines in that dialogue I’m telling you.

15. Aventurine: Shameless hypocrites... You took everything from me and still demand the truth? That isn't fair. Your carnival reeks with the stench of cash. Nothing is achievable without it!

→ Last one for that dialogue, it’s not too complicated, but I love the raw anger that comes out from it. It definitely feels like this is what Aventurine feels at his core, and he finally lets it out now that he’s being threatened with the loss of his person. The “You took everything from me” references both material things but also himself. This line is so honest because he already feels as if he is caught, as if he is being stripped of his identity, all because of the Harmony’s effect on him. Also you remember how I mentioned that Aventurine probably hates the Family because of the opulence of Penacony. Yeah well that’s the proof right there. He says “reeks” and “stench”, which both have a negative connotation, to underline how horrible the Family’s dreamscape actually is. And since these words are very strong, I’m guessing that they come from his real feelings about the Dreamscape and the Family.

Memory 2

???: Look, this is just a necklace. But Kakavasha, you are my only family.

Kakavasha: …

Kakavasha: I'm sorry, Sister... I thought you'd be happy. Because mom left you this necklace...

→ These lines aren’t really complex, but they really show how Kakavasha probably had no knowledge of his worth, even as a kid. I don’t know why that is, but living on a dangerous planet and being a kid that can’t really fight or help probably is part of it. However, his sister reminds him that he is worth more than a necklace. Still there’s more parallelism between Kakavasha and the necklace. He says “Because mom left you this necklace…”, but his sister’s first line “you are my only family.” shows that Kakavasha is another gift that their mother left to her, one that is more important than a material possession, yet he fails to realise that.

2. ???: It is important, but not as important as you, my dearest brother... I don't blame you, but you must remember what mom said...

???: Pain and poverty are the trials of Gaiathra Triclops. SHE has also granted us a chance, and that's your good luck, Kakavasha. Your good luck is the most precious wealth we— all Avgin have.

???: You're a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops and can lead the clan to happiness. So, always remember to protect yourself and never resent the pain and poverty you're going through... All right?

→ There’s honestly something a bit messed up about Kakavasha’s family’s adoration for his good luck, to the point the lines almost make it seem like he’s more important than the necklace because he’s lucky. Obviously I don’t think Kakavasha’s family’s love for him was dependent only on his luck, and nothing tells us that these memories are completely true either. Since it’s all Aventurine reminiscing, he could be an unreliable narrator, especially with his super low self-esteem. However, all about his life is said to be related to Gaiathra Triclops and her divine influence, whether it’s the hardships or the good things. There’s definitely some form of fatalism in Kakavasha’s sister’s words, with pain and poverty being justified with a sort of “everything happens for a reason”, which probably fueled Aventurine’s vision of life, death, and hardships. Especially since these lines also show how difficult Kakavasha’s role was. He’s both the saviour of the Avgins, a blessing from Gaiathra Triclops that can help everyone, but he also has to be selfish and protect himself to keep the blessing alive. This probably fueled his bad view of his luck, but also his self-hatred : because he’s lucky, he has to stay to the side and let everyone die, meanwhile he gets to stay alive, but does he deserve it? Also, in the previous memory, I suggested that maybe Kakavasha’s sister’s beliefs weren’t as strong as their mother’s, but her words here prove the opposite. Kakavasha’s birth and luck probably reinforced her beliefs, since he’s the hope all the Avgins have been searching for ; it’s like their goddess is finally answering their prayers, so why stop believing in her now?

3. Kakavasha: ...Okay. I will swear to Gaiathra Triclops to protect this "wealth"...

→ Not much to say here, except that despite swearing to Gaiathra Triclops in the past, currently he sees his luck in such a bad light that he doesn’t think it’s a blessing, and doesn’t want to protect it anymore. Obviously this fact is related to how much he’s been isolated from all the other Avgins because of his luck.

4. Kakavasha: But Sister... If Gaiathra Triclops was really watching over us...

Kakavasha: Then why did SHE not protect Dad when he was swept away by the quicksand...? After all, Dad went to the Katicans' land only to prepare for Gaiathra Triclops' offerings…

Kakavasha: And where was Gaiathra Triclops when Mom was shivering in our arms? Mom was still pleading for Gaiathra Triclops' forgiveness under her breath until the moment she closed her eyes…

Kakavasha: Sister, everyone praises me for being smart, but I don't get it... If every rainpour was Gaiathra Triclops' forgiveness and grace…

Kakavasha: Then how bad were our sins? ...So much so that we were born in this world of death...?

→ I’m putting this whole speech together because it makes much more sense as a whole than separated. Here, we really see Kakavasha’s doubt towards his clan’s religious beliefs, but also the uncertainty he feels about his role. But because he still believes in Gaiathra Triclops, this leaves him with only one option left : wondering what these trials are an answer to. The last line pretty much confirms that his role as the saviour of his clan and all the bad things that happen despite his luck created his point of view on life and death. He doesn’t blame Gaiathra Triclops, but thinks that maybe there is no point in hoping for her forgiveness if there are so many trials thrown their way. But also, it probably made Kakavasha wonder what was so special about himself, and eventually if he even had anything special, considering his luck can’t help anybody except himself. Because of that, I also think that these words are a mix of Aventurine and Kakavasha’s thoughts. I’m not trying to undermine Kakavasha’s ability to understand the world, but the “where was Gaiathra Triclops when mom was shivering in our arms?” seems so accusatory that I’m thinking that it could be a thought that Aventurine has now that he grew up. Also, the fact that there’s no image when this text is on screen supports this theory : Aventurine can’t link these thoughts to a precise moment he had with his sister, because they’re his current thoughts about his memories.

[o-craven-canto]

Upon being tagged by @wellmetmat; thanks for thinking of me! I hope you'll pardon me if I don't tag anyone additional just yet.

1. What virtue do you most often see in other people that you feel comparatively deficient in?

First of all, self-confidence, absolutely. I think the shame centers in my brain are accidentally wired to fire at ten times the expected intensity. A minuscule rebuke can make my whole day worse, however objective I try to be about it, and more often than not I feel just barely tolerated by the people around me, even though I'm fairly sure that that is not actually the case. The #1 advice I get from my coworkers is "you need to get better at self-promotion".

Close second, constancy. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff in my backlog (or maybe you would, it's probably not all that extraordinary an amount). At the very least I should be doing more work on my main long-term creative projects: my future-history novel, and my Ea worldbuilding, both of which are years behind schedule. Though in my defense I'm also doing a PhD, which I'm also somewhat behind with but not ruinously so, so there's that.

2. Show us an object in your daily life that you have an emotional attachment to - tell us a little bit about it if you want! (a favourite mug perhaps? socks with a cute pattern? dealers choice)

Well. I have here this old wallet in blue denim-like cloth, which has absolutely nothing distinctive or particularly endearing, but I've had it since I was in middle school or about there, so. Had it pickpocketed a couple years ago, and I mourned the wallet a lot more than the money, but the thief had at least the decency of leaving it where it would be soon found, with all documents in order, which I guess was nice of them. (They must have had a nasty surprise when they realized the wallet's impressive thickness was almost entirely old receipts and train tickets I hadn't gotten around to throwing away yet).

3. If you could choose, what level of fame would you want? How many people would you want to recognise you?

Hmm, probably some mild subsubcultural level. The point where two blogs can exchange a few posts discussing my work, or where a few people may comment under a story "this reminds me of Concavenator's style". Anything above that would probably take too much attention end energy, and those grapes look sour anyway. This is probably not outside my grasp, especially if I make some progress on that "constancy" thing.

4. Where do you feel language is least adequate to capture, communicate, or express your experience?

You could argue that this question is, by definition, impossible to answer! But to actually try, I do have some extremely strong feelings about biological life, evolution, extinction, and deep time, which I've tried to express in various ways over the years, never quite to my satisfaction. Actually, I've never seen anyone express them satisfactorily yet. I guess it's kind of a mystical thing. You look at mountains and you see them swell and warp under the strain of a continent crawling north. These words I've just written are not adequate. It will sound like a weird niche interest but it's genuinely a major part of what I see when I look around.

5. If you had to come up with a question with the following criteria:

a) it should disuade knee-jerk reaction answers (i.e. it shouldn't be something people are likely to have spent a lot of time considering before)

b) it shouldn't be too specialised (the audience should be general, don't ask about people's top 3 byzantine spice merchants opperating between 754AD-816AD)

c) it shouldn't be needlessly emotionally charged or divisive

d) it should be a question you expect people to have lots of varied opinions about

What would your question be?

Hmm. How about this: if for the rest of your life hereon you could only communicate directly with X people, what would be the smallest value for X for which you'd be satisfied?

[xenostalgic]

walking through a city park late at night, I come across an art installation: holographic figures glowing in the darkness, talking to and over one another. an avatar of @transgenderer appears in front of me and is trying to ask me some questions but I can't hear them; instead, @perdvivly's voice comes out, unsynced from the hologram's lips. how bizarre...

1. What virtue do you most often see in other people that you feel comparatively deficient in?

many things can be virtuous in some amount, I guess, and relatively few remain good regardless of how much of them you have (temperance being among the virtues). this feels maybe slightly against the spirit of the question but I guess I want to say something like prudence in the original sense, or judgment; I'm not sure my prudence is deficient so much as defective in that I'm over-cautious, prone to inaction, and people I know err on both sides of this but I do know some who strike a good balance

2. Show us an object in your daily life that you have an emotional attachment to - tell us a little bit about it if you want! (a favourite mug perhaps? socks with a cute pattern? dealers choice)

I keep a steel ring on my keychain that matches the one on my collar. very comforting object to hold, satisfyingly heavy

3. If you could choose, what level of fame would you want? How many people would you want to recognise you?

if I could I'd like to have a negative amount of fame, where people are unusually unlikely to hear about or remember me. I wish I had more people who knew me, but I really don't like being recognized by strangers; I always feel very THE WHOLE WORLD MONITORS AND MOCKS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT about it. I guess that's downstream of the context of being recognized around my neighborhood, I probably would mind less if it was people who recognized my name from my research or something. still not actively desirable, though.

4. Where do you feel language is least adequate to capture, communicate, or express your experience?

I think language is probably up to most tasks in principle even if I'm not capable of using it to adequately capture/communicate/express something. maybe... probably lots of people will say this, but like, non-analogical, non-referential descriptions for granular sense-experiences like smells or the details of visual perception like visual snow.

5. If you had to come up with a question with the following criteria:

a) it should disuade knee-jerk reaction answers (i.e. it shouldn't be something people are likely to have spent a lot of time considering before)

b) it shouldn't be too specialised (the audience should be general, don't ask about people's top 3 byzantine spice merchants opperating between 754AD-816AD)

c) it shouldn't be needlessly emotionally charged or divisive

d) it should be a question you expect people to have lots of varied opinions about

What would your question be?

idk if this is a good question but I'm sleepy and it's what I've got: you see some pervasive graffiti/sticker campaign around your neighborhood and it inspires such strong feelings that you feel like you have to reply somehow. what might it be, would your feelings be negative or positive (artistic inspiration), how would you reply?

idk who to tag that would actually want to answer. @unknought, @nightpool, uhhh. @figment-wrangler I don't think I've ever seen you do an ask meme, time to reveal yourself

(original questions & my answers below the cut)

1. Favourite colour?

green! but ideally dark green, maybe even almost black. brighter colors are good too but in smaller doses, dark green is something I enjoy wearing or would like as the focus of a painting or something

2. Last song you listened to?

Golden Age but that's like, a regular evening doing-dishes listen. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now is the most recent one that's not in regular rotation

3. Currently reading?

The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Mishima, which is great so far. always kind of weird to praise the language of a book in translation but I think it makes sense here—I keep being surprised by the directions the characters' thoughts go in, enjoyably, and the specific word choices are part of that but not the central thing. also A Glastonbury Romance (slowly), SPQR, and theoretically The Allegory of Love, which I haven't given up on yet this read—but I might fail to get through the "case studies" part of the book yet again. I've enjoyed the first two, more analytical, chapters several times but the further one gets into the book the more difficult it is to read Lewis going "btw, this poem is not good, it's primarily of interest for how it affected other literature which I'm not going to talk about" and still maintain motivation to hear more

4. Currently craving?

I am so full of burgers it's impossible to crave any food. kinda want to get high but this is impossible due to excessive prudence

5. Coffee or tea?

Tea, but I haven't had either in I think months. I guess I mostly enjoy tea in the winter to warm up with, I always get mint or other non-caffeinated kinds

[veyette]

Hi veyette!! How are you?? Haven't seen you in a while! I'm going around leaving a few asks to people hehe rn

What duo or character from the dsmp do you think gets underused for stories?? Like what person deserves to have bigger roles in stories and get appreciated more??

I wish you a lovely day :D!

Hi ! Yes indeed it's been a while, glad to know you're well :D Congrats on the dsmpfairytale art and the Dreblr Gen Big Bang, it was really good works (if a reader likes c!rivalsduo and zombie apocalypse, go for it !) (It isn't shameless promotion if it's the truth)

Nice quick answers :

C!antfrost -> everyone forgets that poor guy and his relation with the Egg and c!Bbh and the prison (for the character)

C!sapnap and c!tommy's duo -> a lot of untapped in potential especially knowing how powerful c!sapnap can be and how much of a hold on c!dream he can have

C!hbomb should appear in more stories and be appreciated more for his hilarious apparitions

I typed way more though ahah and then realized it was getting long and needlessly complicated so you can just stop at my quick answers if you want.

I typed a whole text about why c!sapnap should be used more, but if you want an honnest opinion about which characters are underused as a whole in dsmp fanfictions you'll need to scroll down x)

-> I'd say maybe c!Sapnap is criminally underused, as well as any duo with him ? He is often put in fanfictions but few fics concentrate on him when his character has so much potential considering all the links he has with almost every character :

c!Karlnapity's fiance which impacted both the time travel and Las Nevadas

c!stagedduo (both c!dream and c!punz being close friends of his especially when you take in the fact they fought the first few times together)

c!skephalo's "son" and connection to the Egg lore if he so wanted

XD itself and the book of death

a physically strong character with relatively straight morales (enough that c!technoblade and c!dream would have to count on fighting him)

A turn-back time story with him would go crazy for exemple because we know he feels enough of a sense of responsibilities at the end of the dsmp to try to involve himself and put his strength to use.

C!sapnap biggest weakness has always been I believe the fact he doesn't think very far and he is easily redirected by people even slightly more cunning : by going back into the past, he gets rid of the disadvantage of constantly lagging behind others's thoughts and can plan in advance (could want to protect c!Karl, keep c!quackity close, check for c!george (may even recognize XD when he starts involving himself), can protect L'Manberg better during Doomsday and intervene for c!tommy (still lost on what c!sapnap would plan to do with c!dream if he came back in time because he isn't as bull headed than c!sam in that regard, but he is also very hurt and betrayed and believing c!dream can't change), involve himself early in the Egg saga to keep c!skephalo away...)

As I said, a lot of connections that could explored in various and interesting ways, especially taking into account how simple and yet complex c!sapnap is. He doesn't think very far as I said, focused on the present, can be easily misdirected (a lot of people around him just speak half-truth to him) and is himself quite the problem makers : but sometimes he can be very aware of problems and know where the problem is (also more importantly : when he decides to solve the problem, he does). He is motivated, always willing to go farther and to act on what he thinks

So yes, c!sapnap is very interesting and should be explored in fanfiction more

BUT AS A WHOLE :

I don't think there's any character which is underused in dsmp stories (sorry!).

The DSMP is built around several people, sure, so when fanartists (writers included) write their POV/AU, the character chosen gets to shine and the others usually are used as props to help them in the same way they helped in the DSMP.

But the thing is, for me, people rarely helped each others out ?

(Be it due to selfishness, unawareness or powerlessness, often a mix of 3 - a reason why I also love dsmp : irl too you need to express when you need help, people can't read your mind and will have their own stuff to care about)

More often than not, people being very present in each other stories is things added by fanartists are conversations and actions they wish the characters had had because it didn't actually happen : admission of hurt and people going into defense mode for the poor guy, some character finally exploding and going all Villain to get his revenge, feelings of love and affection being declared and then hugging it out (SFW version)...

When a fanartist pick a character, they create links and actions from characters that never did in the lore, involving them more ! So by definition, no character feels "left out", even if you'd wish an artist focused more on the help other characters could have given, had they been chosen by the author to give that help

I just said to give c!sapnap a bigger role but the thing is : c!sapnap doesn't notice things around him and when he does, doesn't really know how to help. Unless the author gives him a reason too, he won't ever involve himself with the Egg business, he won't repair his relation with c!quackity, he won't be able to help c!karl and won't notice what's wrong with c!george.

I could do this for a lot of dsmp characters : if they didn't help in the lore, unless the author wish to, they have no reason to do it in fiction and as such can't, by definition, be underused.

[elftwink]

finished reading lightlark yesterday. ben-affleck-smoking.jpg

i want to complain but there's so much that i genuinely dont know where i would even start. got out the second book from the library because i was curious to see if it was any different since it had been published after the criticisms of the first book were published and i quit after 3 pages because this time I already know nothing will change. if you describe most stories as being woven, this novel was fraying and coming unravelled. loose plot threads everywhere and it only became more obvious it would not come together.

words cannot describe how fucking irritating, presumptuous, needlessly stubborn, and flip-floppy the main character is. if you're asking how she can both be stubborn and change her opinion on a dime it's because no matter what her opinion is she believes in it 100000% and will not ever let up on it UNTIL some stupid ass plot contrivance happens and suddenly she believes the opposite thing with equal enthusiasm but without any actual character reason. girlie acts suspicious of everyone all the time and is somehow STILL betrayed like FOUR TIMES??? her stubbornness is I think meant to be a character trait (or flaw, idk) but due to the way the world is so fucking undetailed and the characters only act because the plot requires it (because they are paper thin and have no motivations. Isla also has no motivations or agency its just harder to spot because she keeps telling you in her narration that she has sooo many motivations omg she's so complex... ok well then can ms. complexity like do ANYTHING other than follow other people's plans???) it comes across as though obstinate stubbornness simply is the correct way to act because of how the plot bends itself to make isla's stupid assumptions correct. shes never incentivized to change her behaviour nor is it challenged in any substantial way (one characters calls out her stubbornness but it's clearly meant to be part of a cute bicker back and forth to build the romance. it isn't cute it comes across as though they dislike each other. when they end up together the characters also seem confused. wow what a great romance where neither party is quite sure why they like each other. ok)

and I want to be clear I have no problem with stubborn characters, nor do I think all characters need an arc to be less stubborn. but it's so poorly written it seems even the author, hell, even the character herself, has NO IDEA why she is acting this way other than that she is a stubborn person. no thought is given to why people are stubborn or how being stubborn (and needlessly antagonistic) will impact your interpersonal relationships. there is no consequence, by which I mean there is no causal link between the events of the plot, the facts of the world, and the way people behave. at all. this book was a series of events, none of which ever connected together in any meaningful or even slightly clever way. the plot twist comes out of left field but you can guess it several pages in advance of the reveal because of how hamfisted it is so it starts to feel like isla is just stupid or pretending to be stupid because there's no other reason she should not be able to see this coming because of how spelled out it is (I mean, aster clearly thinks her readers are stupid enough to need that kind of spoonfeeding, but in her defense I suppose you need to spoonfeed is you refuse to lay any fucking groundwork or do properly paced foreshadowing)

Isla is a characters whose internal monologue tells you all about how skilled and talented and independent and strong willed she is, all the while following orders from anyone who gives them with only a snarky quip to try to cover the cognitive dissonance produced by the lack of agency Isla actually has vs the amount she tells you she has. Isla barely passes the sexy lamp test, and the only reason she does is because sexy lamps can't be injured dramatically. also the other women basically exist exclusively so isla can be #notlikeothergirls, and by the end of the book all the other female main characters end up being evil anyway. maybe this kind of shitty faux feminism would have been compelling 10 years ago, but this was published in 2022(?I think). what the hell is this

can't even get into the worldbuilding because it would require another 17 paragraphs. soulmate pov tiktoks have more consequential worldbuilding than lightlark

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Mar 12, 2024

Every human interaction carries the potential to cause offence. There are almost no words that are bereft of connotations, and even silence can be a source of discomfort. We can all therefore agree that to insulate ourselves from the possibility of feeling offended is to withdraw from society altogether. 

To a degree, it is healthy to shield ourselves from those who would wish to hurt us. We do this in our choice of friends and associates, and on social media this can be accomplished simply by ‘blocking’ aggressors. An important aspect of freedom of speech is the right not to listen. To claim that using the block function on social media is a form of censorship is akin to saying that one violates Stephen King’s free speech by not reading his novels. 

But the avoidance of conflict is a tactic that can only ever be effective when it comes to navigating a familiar landscape. In order to live a fulfilling life, we must interact with strangers about whom we know very little. There exists a broadly agreed social contract that protects us from harm, one that is continually subject to revision, but there will always be those who feel compelled, for whatever reason, to transgress the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. 

In your adult life, you have taken great care to avoid causing offence wherever possible, but you have not always been successful. This is because our thoughts and intentions are only ever communicated in a partially accurate way. Our choice of language is the most direct means to express what we know ourselves to think and feel, and even then might not best reflect our true sentiments. Even in our moments of greatest clarity, we cannot be certain that our words will be interpreted in the anticipated manner. 

When I was a boarding school teacher, one of my charges was a German pupil who had somehow managed to offend every one of his peers. He had developed a reputation for rudeness, and schoolboys are rarely willing to indulge those who are perceived as antagonists. I spoke to the German boy on a number of occasions. Although his English was strong, his utterances would often sound cantankerous or needlessly curt. For instance, rather than say ‘Would you mind shutting that door please?’ he would say ‘You must shut the door now.’ As I got to know him better, I soon began to realise that something was being misrepresented in the process of translation. In other words, we were experiencing a version of his personality that was very different from his authentic self. 

In a sense, we are all speaking our own unique dialect, even if our language is the same. This is why generosity of interpretation is always to be advised in the first instance. As Socrates observes in Plato’s Meno, given that misery is the desire and possession of evil, and that nobody desires to be miserable, there can be nobody who knowingly desires evil things. In most cases, it is safest to assume that those who commit acts of which we disapprove must believe them to be good. Similarly, opinions that we find repellent often originate from the best of intentions. Once we understand this, we unlock the potential for meaningful dialogue. 

When we are offended, we should think carefully about why we have chosen to take offence and, more importantly, whether or not the offence was meant. In many cases, those who would wish us harm are explicit in their objectives. After all, an expletive-ridden insult is unlikely to be thrown in the spirit of benevolence. But even in such instances, is it right that our personal sensibilities should be the justification for curbing the speech of our traducer? 

In part, this is the inevitable corollary of years of risk-averse parenting and teaching strategies, as well as the implementation of anti-bullying measures that have a tendency to catastrophise. As Greg Lukianoff argues, ‘People all over the globe are coming to expect emotional and intellectual comfort as though it were a right. This is precisely what you would expect when you train a generation to believe that they have a right not to be offended. Eventually, they stop demanding freedom of speech and start demanding freedom from speech’. An overdiagnostic culture has reframed distress and emotional pain as forms of mental illness, rather than aspects of a healthy human existence. To feel upset is not an aberration; it is a sign that we are alive. 

Let us consider what exactly it means to be offended. There is little doubt that the feeling of offence arises from the disconnect between how things are and how we feel they ought to be. We can be offended by phenomena that do not directly impinge on our lives because they violate our sense of justice. More commonly, we are offended by matters that relate specifically to ourselves. Our pride is injured when we believe that someone holds us in low regard and, as status-seeking primates, we are bound to feel deflated when disparaged. 

Once offence has been taken, there are two likely reactions: we might feel that the slight was deserved, and that we should modify our own behaviour in order to avoid similar incidents in the future; alternatively, we might decide that the fault lies with the offender. In these cases, we might seek an apology, retaliate through criticism or mockery, or seek to stop this person from speaking. It is this latter impulse that explains the appeal of censorship as a means to safeguard the feelings of ourselves and others. 

To recognise that there are aspects of existence that offend us is not to suggest that the feeling of offence is meaningless. There is nothing wrong with being offended, and it can often spur us into action when it comes to redressing injustice as we see it. That said, if the source of our offence is a general discomfort that others do not behave or speak in accordance with our own specific values, we are engaging in a kind of solipsism that is best avoided, not least because there is no end to the endeavour. This is the kind of mentality that sees people take umbrage on behalf of others, an increasingly common phenomenon by which speech is judged to be ‘offensive’ even when there is no evidence of any offence being caused. 

A compulsion to change the world around us to suit our personal sensibilities is evinced by the tabloid columnist who calls for a film to be banned, the heckler at the comedy club who is outraged at the topic of the joke, the member of staff at a publishing firm who threatens to strike over a ‘problematic’ author, the student activist who sets off fire alarms to prevent a visiting speaker from upsetting his peers. We understand the impulse because we all feel it from time to time. However, to make the leap from the natural revulsion we experience at certain alternative worldviews to actively silencing them is to surrender to the authoritarian tendency. By doing so, we degrade ourselves by subordinating our reason to baser instincts. 

This is an excerpt from Free Speech and Why It Matters. You can buy the book here. It’s also available as an audiobook.

[cursedvibes]

Sukuna 🙂

Thank you for the ask!

Sexuality Headcanon:

Hm, idk I'm always swaying between seeing him as ace or that he's open to everyone regardless of gender. He'll have sex with people sometimes if they are strong and ruthless enough and give him some sort of entertainment value. I doubt there's much emotional investment on either side there. Unless we're talking about Uraume.

Gender Headcanon:

He seems pretty solidly male to me, but in the sense of that he doesn't care much about it. He identifies as a man, but he doesn't make a big deal about it exactly because he's casual about it and confident in his identity.

A ship I have with said character:

Pretty much just SukUme because I actually find his personality very annoying with other characters or ships in general. I like these two especially because he acts more like a normal person with them and is more grounded, not needlessly looking down on them or resorting to petty bully behaviour because he sees his worldview challenged. They just vibe exceptionally well together and that's what I like about them. Also Uraume likes him and they are the one of the two I care much more about, so SukUme it is

A BROTP I have with said character:

He's not being very bro-y with many characters besides Uraume...maybe Gojo. They are on a similar wavelength and they did have fun beating each other up. I'm not sure Sukuna could bond with him much outside of that scenario, but as friends with benefits or occasional fighting partners they work well.

A NOTP I have with said character:

I'd say SukuTen like in the previous ask.

A random headcanon:

He grew up relatively poor, maybe even on the street because his parents abandoned him and he had to learn to fend for himself. That might be how he first came in contact with Tengen and Kenjaku. They saw potential in him, took him in, trained him (did some experiments on him) and helped him get stronger.

General Opinion:

Eh, I used to like him a lot more, but once he became more present in the story aka once he took over Megumi and onwards, he's been getting on my nerves a bit. He has his interesting moments and I think he was more bearable during the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, but otherwise his personality is not really doing much for me. He's also not really impressing me much as a villain. I think his backstory and the way Yuuji challenges his philosophy is still interesting though. Maybe I'd like him more if we got more of that who knows.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

💎💎💎 Mura’s opinion on either Lariel or Zrise (whichever you’d prefer) 💕

[warning, mura doesn't exactly think highly of him. at all.]

"Zrise Aldonlel. A Sanctified Slayer of Calistrian." Mura face is purposefully blank.

"He made an excellent choice in goddess, although i admit i favor her careful vengeance over her more hedonistic nature."

"On the other hand... Some would say its unwise to call a inquisitor of a goddess of vengeance naive, but he strikes me more a a lost puppy who wandered into a world of violence and is imitating other for attention than a true threat who is strong in his convictions." A sneer breaks through the blankness of her face.

"His undead nature is fascinating, unlike my own, yet similar too, and not easily classified. Yet the rest of him leave much to be desired. Provoking disgust and fear can be an art, yet too many use it as a way to validate the feelings of self hatred they internalized from others. He is charismatic, but it takes much to overwhelm the natural reaction to those with a complicated relationship with living, and for all his posturing, he fails to do so many times." derision and dismissal strong in her voice.

she leans in close, as if to tell some precious advice, "He lacks convictions, internal rules and guidelines. I enjoy chaos myself, but there must be some method in the madness or your just plain mad. he is a puppy, a lost child. i would rather work with those who are opposed to my existence like crusaders and so called slayers of evil, and someone like him. Them i understand, they have eternal rules and driving forces. Someone like him is just a waste. Those who make others suffer without logic or cause, those who take blood and pain needlessly, those are an evil i agree with being put down. Madmen and fools, no true cause or purpose."

"The only damage he can do is accidental, his inconstancy the only dangerous thing about him."

"He is not a person enjoy wasting my time thinking about, yet is the type of person i have put down many a time."

Mura leans back, making it clear she has nothing more to say.

[walker-extended-universe]

Why I love Abigail Walker

It goes without saying that Abigail Walker is one of my favorite things about Walker: Independence. Her journey from a somewhat sheltered Bostonite to a self-assured badass legal consultant was fun to watch, even if it did sometimes get lost in the midst of the other characters.

One of the best things about Abigail, in my opinion, is how well she represents the Walker family and their values as we know them today. Even in just the short 13 episode run we got from here, we see the stubborness, compassion, tenacity, and sense of justice we know the modern Walker family for. It's one of those things were you can just tell how much care went into the creation of this character and making sure everything fit with what came before.

Something else I enjoy about her character is the friends she makes along the way. I know how that sounds but hear me out. Abigail had an astounding way of bringing people together. Calian, Hoyt, Kai, Kate, Augustus- all of them knew each other before she arrived and had their own relationships with each other, but she's the one that brought them all together and turned them into a family. I adore her friendship with Kate and I'll always wonder where she might have gone with Calian. There's so much potential that will sadly never be realized.

I also have to admire how she stands out in terms of the typical Strong Female Character. She's not afraid to ask for help when she needs it, even if she doesn't want to. She's willing to listen to and work with others, even if she doesn't always agree with them. And I have to appreciate the lack of modern feminist dialog that came with her. Yes, she's strong willed. Yes, she wants more of out life than this society can give her. But she's making it work with what she has rather than needlessly pushing the envelope and causing more problems for herself.

To round this off, here's a short list of things I love about Abigail Walker:

Strong and feminine

Katherine McNamara

Badass Bookworm

Stylin' under dursess

So very pretty

Kickass lawyer

TL;DR:

I love Abigail Walker

[hahagiggle]

Adam.

Co-Host, unwillingly resurrected - intrigue alone drives me on. Please read the pinned post on this blog. My formation is the result of surviving an attempt on our life, and am only posting online as a form of journaling and harm reduction.

I'm interested in true crime, especially mass murder, but am not likely to post much about it here. I enjoy writing essays, and I will be using whatever minimal interest you have or novelty you see in me to be making you read them.

I do not see myself as The Real Adam Lanza, though I am prone to referring to past events as my own, and needlessly fielding questions about him in the first person. I believe myself to be trauma response that is causing a series of synapses firing off wrong in the brain of a body foreign to me, and the neural response just so happens to be assuming a form and thought pattern familiar and recognizable. This is my biggest cope, because if I am forced to come to terms with the true implications of my past and my return, I will... put on the best damn talent show this town has ever seen. 💣

I also enjoy urban exploration, debate, anthropology, rodents, and liminal spaces. Ask me about suburbia as it relates to decay.

I dislike society, cars, advertisements, the state of the web, advertisements, memes, TikTok, and the girl reading this. Do not show me a photo of your dog.

I was fuckcomments. You're welcome.

I have a strong distaste for Spotify. No Spotify link for you.

Boundaries. As if that matters.

Ask to Front: I am probably already in front. If I am not, you may ask to speak with me, and I will oblige if I am available.

DM: You can DM me if I am in front. If I am not, the current fronter has been asked to pass on the message, and hopefully will.

Nicknames: I'd prefer if you just called me Adam, and did not refer to me by any of my prior monikers unless we are close.

Doubles: Please interact. I prefer the company of doubles. I enjoy my own company.

Warnings

I am not a nice person, I am simply a quiet person.

Don't ask me about pedophilia or the like. I simply do not want to talk about it.

I dislike Columbine. I mock Columbiners. I hate Nazis, they are hypocritical, and short sighted at "best." I am fascinated in the cases, but I will roll my eyes at my company. Not that my opinion should matter much to you.

[exantivancrow]

Hi!! A bit late rip but 2, 3, 6, 11 from the pride asks for hanna, fen, and anyone else you'd like! c:

laya, the light of my life, tysm!!! quick rundown of the bg3 ocs:

fen's my non-tav half drow halsin romancer, nature domain cleric of yondalla (listen, the underdark sucked) guild artisan

hanna's my witcher oc i borrowed for my first run when i got decision paralysis on the cc; human battlemaster fighter outlander who is also romancing halsin in her run bc he's eskel-coded

alecto's my gith oath of vengeance paladin soldier romancing astarion (and probably also halsin...... we're not gonna talk about it)

2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic, sexual, platonic, alterous, etc.) Do they have opinions about it?

Fen: Pansexual, bisexual, no matter your opinions on what label works best, if you're hot she's into it. She thinks it's kinda fascinating that this isn't the consensus on attraction. On the aromantic spectrum somewhere, because I'm incapable of making allo characters.

Hanna: She's pretty sure she's heterosexual; she has slept with more than just men, but she finds herself primarily focusing on men. She leads a busy stressful complicated life so if someone offers, that's all that matters, she'll take it, but she's not as into it as she could be. She's never really dedicated time/effort to figuring out more because she's got a busy stressful complicated life, but she is demiromantic.

Alecto: Their perception of sexuality (whoever is strong is attractive) is the only correct way. Astarion is strong in spirit, and in combat, if not in body, and he's not helpful in explaining how it works for people not raised in a creche, he's also drawn to strength.

3. How did your oc discover themselves? Did something cause them to question or have they always known?

Fen: She's always known. She's been through a lot of different cultures, and understood from her beginning how she worked.

Hanna: Was hit on by a gorgeous tiefling woman within her first year on the road, and thought "oh I can't pass up this opportunity", and then didn't enjoy it as much as she figured she would. Spent the next couple years finding the pattern before realizing she just wasn't as into women as she originally thought.

Alecto: The gith way is the only right way. Everyone born in the creche knows this.

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

Fen: Likes learning new ones! Both for herself and others. She thinks they're neat.

Hanna: Doesn't mind labels, but doesn't use them herself; does her absolute (hehehe) best to respect others'.

Alecto: Thinks labels are restrictive until someone tries to explain otherwise, and they just find that more confusing. Why say you fit into a category if that's not always true, then you're lying about it? Zheir friends mark it a lost cause. She isn't rude about it on purpose though, he's just genuinely confused.

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more blunt or lowkey? Why or why not?

Fen: Has a thing about sharing personal information needlessly, is not open about it.

Hanna: Is blunt if asked, has no problem with being open about it, but non-maliciously considers it to be a waste of conversation. We could sit around and talk about objective statements about each other, or we could go take care of someone who needs help. She has a preference.

Alecto: Is, in fact, too blunt about it. Karlach once made the mistake of saying that talking to people about it is a way of showing you trust them, and listening to people about it is a way of showing you care, and now she brings it up (in too much detail) when she's trying to make friends. Her existing friends have to explain "it means she likes you".

looking at this, glad to see they're all as autistic as I am, lmaoooo; my new bg3 blog @lastlightinternet will feature more of these kiddos eventually! thanks for the ask laya!!