#('this hand is mine now')
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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(Source)
This image suddenly feels very relevant.
#kathryn hahn#agatha all along#agathario#tv: agatha all along#death's hand in mine alright#she's a menace (affectionate)#I’ll see myself out now bye
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parasol
#wonder if there are tteokbokki in space asdjha#making my own AU taking them away from the damn show#they are mine. they r safe in my hands now#master sol#jecki lon#lee jung jae#dafne keen#star wars#the acolyte#my art#I wish you all the love in the world AU
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Surprisingly enough, there was something similar to perfection about the two.
#bsd#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk#skk fanart#soukoku fanart#chuuya#dazai#no top ship of mine is immune to the hands drawing#done this with wenzhou hualian haikaveh and now soukoku#my art
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Also I can't think about it too hard without getting so fucking emo about it but. Brennan giving Emily the hint of an out during that convo with Zara. He knows she was on the fence about playing Fig this season because she felt like her story was wrapped up in Sophomore year but he convinced her to play Fig again because he knew the pay off about Porter would be worth it. But in that conversation with Zara he was giving her the chance to let Fig go off and have adventures with Ayda and not have to feel tied to that character when they do a senior year season. And as both a DM and a friend that is so kind of him to seed into the story, and especially in the episode that he knew the Porter pay off was going to happen- even though the idea of not having Fig in a fhsy season absolutely breaks my heart
#its 1 am and im sososo emotional about Emily axford and her pcs i need to go to bed#first my post about moonshine and now this. head in hands.#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#fig faeth#txt#mine
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♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫
(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dc robin#batman and robin#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#bruce wayne#lyrics are ofc from American Teenager by ethel cain#the lyrics are a bit too specific to specifically be a damian song and the verses talk about like. christian church and substance abuse#but thag chorus???? ohhhh baby#its also stephcore btw. to me at least#ANYWAY this took. forever and i did while feeling sick/off in the run up to my period so frankly it's a miracle it got finished at all#but yknow for now im fairly happy w this one. played around w the colours and challenged myself to really put my all into the linework#there's some details here n there that r wrong (failsafes design is. all kinds of wonky) but like. who give a shit#anyway my brain and hands are on vacation for the next few days <3#btw the blood on damians hands is a reference to the upcoming B&R cover (for 11 or 12 i think?) where damians-#-beating the living daylights out of bane. B&R has mostly been chill n slow so far but these issues...ohhh i am SEATED#uhh anyway yeah <3#OH WAIT#mine#< haha. art tag i always forget
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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skybound megatron when i catch you.... when i FUCKING catch you...............
#ILL KILL HIM WITH MY OWN HANDS IDGAF IF HES A GIANT ROBOT ALIEN THAT LEADS THE DECEPTICONS#“you know the limits of my power�� YOU HAVE A CANON ON YOUR ARM WTF DO YOU MEANNN ����😭😭😭😭#sighhhh i was laughing at star's interactions with the humans like 1 page earlier and then bam they hit me with this...........#“what you desire matters not you are mine now” this killed me#user ironladders found dead in a ditch cause of death transformers comics 100% true not clickbait#god i have soo many thoughts abt this issue#sorry to the ppl who follow my spam twt bc i am going crazy over it rn#transformers#starscream#megatron#skybound spoilers
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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happy and proud!!
✷(print shop)✷
#mine#original#sm how managed 2 miss pride month....but its pride month every month in this house hold#ive read two bad YA books so far this month as a break from th 2nd farseer book but now.....i am back.........i am reading th 3rd one#its gna make my brain explode i can feel it#n then idk what i will read. maybe th hands of th emperor#could i read smth other than 800 page epic fantasy pls#the YA books werent too bad for YA but they hve that YA cringe 2 it. idk how u people read it constantly#if i hve 2 read th word 'heck' one more time#also theres always like. disney channel vibes. like i read gay YA romance n its so sanitised n vanilla. its so superficial#like i get this is for 16 year olds but were is the longing. the yearing. these guys are fanfic tropes stuck 2gether 2 glue.#also. what is with nearly every mlm romance / fantasy being YA not adult fiction. whats up w that#anyway hve a good evenin im gna do knitting!!!!!!!!!!!!
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alex ± always needing to touch henry
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex x henry#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#userninz#userveronika#chrissiewatts#usersteen#usernuria#userlang#usermaloune#userclara#mine*#godd they make me sick#the first gif drives me crazy bc of how alex really doesn't know what to do with his hands#like... okay this is happening right now i have to touch and put my hands everywhere to Make Sure its real#its the need for them to always near/touching each other for me - it can be so personal#something something touch starved what about it. huh.
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Falin has been nearsighted since she was little, and has a habit of squinting when she's looking at things. —Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible
she should have been at the optometrist's
(ID in alt text)
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#marcille donato#laios touden#doodles#mine#falin's closed eyes canonically just being squinting is one of the funniest word of god additions to a story ever#noticing how she started keeping them open post-rez n being like ''wow that's such a cool way to introduce a disconnect between the falin w#heard of n the falin we're meeting now. i wonder how this plays into the dragon thing'' and it's just. it's just. She Can See Now#i do think if she ever did get glasses they'd be no use bc she doesn't like wearing them. marcille has to wrestle them onto her face#after wrestling them out of laios's hands#protip: they're in their flashback designs bc that chapter is burned into my brain permanently. laimar one-sided enemies to besties +#farcille cheek-pinching as a love language 5ever
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huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.
(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)
it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.
love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)
such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?
one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.
follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.
through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#illario#dragon age meta#*sighs and climbs back down into the dellamorte family feels and horror mines yet again right after breakfast* it's a living#when you're barely even getting to play the game because your brain is a boiling cauldron of feelings that need to be processed#between every time you can take anything new in fhsakjhfsda#head in hands. we do need to get him out of there is the thing. I think we kind of do need to do that. in some kind of way#(I do feel that the only thing that might drive him more than the fear of disappointing caterina is the fear of losing rook again#when romanced. so you know. there's every reason to hope. he has a solid support network of godkilling maniacs now#and some spaces he can go to to like. think and experience things that aren't all in her shadow. I think he'll get there)#lucanis greatest fears: 4) harding's cooking#3/2 shared place): bellara's fun little 'oooh but what if *worst thing that could ever happen to you illario fakeout betrayal and death#scenario* would that be fucked up or WHAT. (god.) 3/2 shared place) truly disappointing caterina and telling her no. 1) tfw no rook :'(
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Lilia reversing the reversed Tower card in the end though is going to live with me forever, not just because it was a stunning piece of witchcraft, the shift from divination to affecting the physical world, not just because she understood what it would mean for her,
but bc they've been in the Tower the whole time.
Not just Billy... all of them. The Witches' Road to this point has been the Tower reversed for the entire group: resisting change, calamity, disaster, upheaval. For Lilia to be the one to see it! For Lilia to be the only one to see the only path forward is to stop resisting! For Lilia to know what the calamity is, and to flip the Tower anyway -
(Because she had been the one resisting - because she was exhausted of seeing Death - because being alone and an outcast was better - )
and to let go - into Death.
#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#i'm! in my emotions!#Lilia loved being a witch!#she loved her coven and she loved the things she'd all but renounced!#look i screamed when I saw the title for this one was 'death's hand in mine' bc i'd been waiting for it to pop up#and i'm screaming now bc this is not what i was expecting#and i love that despite being the episode title character#Rio isn't there in the end - we don't see her. she's not for us.#lilia calderu#my meta
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OUTLANDER: 100th Episode Celebration with Sam, Caitriona, David and MBR onset(x)
#outlander#outlander cast#outlandercastedit#outlander: s8#outlander: behind the scenes#caitriona balfe#sam heughan#samcait#jamie x claire#david berry#mathhew b. roberts#gifs#mine#THIS IS ALL I HAVE BEEN YELLING ABOUT ALL DAY AND IM GONNA KEEP YELLING ABOUT IT#LOOK AT THEM SO HAPPY AND ALL SMILES JUST GLOWINGGGGGG#I would absolutely risk it all for them your honor#also my favorite thing about this is the fact that their hands stayed touching with no room for jesus#and Cait's arm wrapped around Sam's waist the whole time and Sam's arm behind his back most likely holding onto her <3#SO NOW I GOTTA GO CRY AND YELL ABOUT IT SOME MORE
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🔪
#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino#the noise#noise#arts#mine#peppino is like#i fucked up this fucking trust fund brat with my bare hands; hes lucky I didnt have a fucking shiv on me#its just funny to me#peppino is amicable with literally everyone now#and if not#just a little annoyed but tolerant#but the noise just pokes and pokes at this bear (hehe) in such a way#that makes peppino want to bash his skull in#so now everytime the noise wants to be a little menace and sneak around the pizzeria hes gotta stay on his toes#bc whenever he THINKS peppino is busy; theres a fucking weapon being flung at him from nowhere
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