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rwmhunt · 4 years ago

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Leviticus, Chapter 26

1. It's my training- I find With polarizing factors- In essence, they are Attentional. And lo, we're on to how pandemics End, And where I say that I find it normal To see false flags on everything. The victims Are disseminators In isolation stasis, As believers are cast into many Disparate factions- desperately seeking Their own audience and fracturing Reality in their processes. They plead the cause of a deepening iniquity As to a factor for relief, But maketh of ye here, no idols, no bones about it; And rear thee up no columns, No analogue that might measure or mock me with restraint; No feat that might inspire ye to fall, For tis ME. And all of you Need fear More Than hope Now.

2. And here Moses might only be seen In the reflected beam Of his own headlamp, As by it he travails into The little that it casts, For, tis about time we said Goodbye to Sinai, And, having toyed with the pretence, Admit that it is no place to biggeth of a home. But, let us first cut our losses With the aforementioned, spurious Sacrifice.

3. Then walk in My statutes, And in effect, I will take the lot. From Exodus through Numbers, Leviticus Shall appear in the role of Mose's malignant, Functioning as something of a priest in prototype, Here, used for example of what is otherwise superfluous.

4. Thus shall he chafe, at first, against the thing at work- Twas the people who provoked him into the begetting Of a golden idol, whence he went before them and said, - For whom does it end, and who as so doth get to decide? I'll give ye the reigns to such a season as they be deigned for, And hence hath he tapped into some rural frustration, By atleast pretending to pay an attention Unto those who'd’ve had it That they were deserving of an attention, And hitherto presuming That they were getting not of it, Because it was a given that it be going unto others.

5. And, warming- Threshing Shall verily reach unto the vintage, No timescale shall lie upon our dessert, And thence, that it should there suffice And be so furthered of a surfeit also- Sick and tired of winning. There’s an uncertainty about the path That goeth forward, which was always there, But masked By Mose's exceptional approaches from god, With troubling things to report From the frontiers of the rhyzome As dictated by him from a distance; Be it tented or from way up on Sanai. More to the point, with Aaron found in a position Where the idol he created is out of his control, Mose is perhaps more eager now than ever To retain his grip on the base, so To the top of the Mountain, where he again Is lolling with a god who has legacy to defend, And from where he’s tolled upon the god, Who now hath a record of statutes Which need be ramified over time to maintain The same supplication from the base hereunto- By a means that looks increasingly precarious;

6. And still he blew- I can cause evil beasts to cease your path, And slope away, out from the land, So be it a safe space for thinking, yet, Even before Mose had left Egypt, Aaron was charting a course that would bring his horn to clash In conflict with the legacy his brother hath sought As that from up on the mountain. - He, without standing- Made Manifest Destiny As Aboriginal Calamity; Lo, that He should speaketh Only through ol' measly Mose, It’s sick. It’s a sick joke- that’s what it is, And it’s not a joke as far as I’m concerned, It's April the first.

7. And Mose, as responding to winds only when forced to, Is always leveraging to give away the wiggle room For people to interpret his position however they would. He’ll say things vaguely enough to send one message Unto his base while maintaining deniability when questioned By Dr Moloch, with, - we were able to pivot, _, But here, defending himself publicly against his former compatriots, Who had criticized him as a “rogue” and a selfish coward- And of Denver Riggleman hath he chastened as an enemy unto the good, That he shall fall before you as from a sword; where swords believe not... Because sometimes a little bloodletting...

And he trails off...

8. But, as marketing hath recently divined unto Me, In allowance that there shouldst be For a different kind of people to be present at storytelling- The national need for experts in critical languages and other regions- Go thither - that it shouldst not always be Mose, As effective a spokesperson as he fairly is- - We wouldst be able to pivot, deep Into a different frontal cortex and through The past year, shew how powerful our mind could have been, So Denver giveth five of you wriggle room to chase a hundred, And a hundred of you are now chastening of ten thousand; As so shall I up thee thy ante, And my enemies will fall before you as by a sword, For I thought it funny- that there could be no room For anybody who should come As would be so dumb as to think it real, But, lo... it's complicated. When ideas are swords, there broods a tribal metaphor, Absorbing the recondite and thus blooming the tribe, trained To a stream of algorithmy on a fact-immune, ignorant, Analytic white paper.

9. Lo, and compliant with the photograph, I shall have respect as unto you, And make a fruitful of you, and multiply the effect of you; And shall establish My covenant as parley with you; However, with you there, shall I stop- And if you shouldst know of an influencer, That goeth as amongst you, It is upon you, to cut them off, And cast them from the convention, To leave them afloat In the void of their influence; Know me, you are not missing out. And they looked at each other

10. And carried on through A buildingsite for hackers, unto The streaming platforms, as linkethed up Among these sealed back channels, deep In amid online influencer culture, As aideth escape from our antibodies Who deeply infringe into the working of others, Which I see no incentive in trying to dispel, Saying- ye shall eat old-store pottage long kept, And ye shall bring forth such vintage from before the new; The seed shall be my seed and my seed only; me a monothe, find There are plenty of such who want this pandemic to continue; - 'Exactly.' ...But it's not us. - 'Exactly. Thanks to you, Dr Moloch.' And away I rode As quick as I could.

11. Lockdown is as a low gloss and of loss- Gratitude, thank you, thank you, 80 neg 95 from the day before, My soule shall not abhor you In these toxic patterns thrash, For even though there's darkness, Let it be as such that is found exhilarating; For there's nothing like a sword to save us.

12. I will walk among you, And lo will I figure the triggers That allow keeping it alive in a tiny form. A worldly preserve from a range of exotic, begotten In order to find what goes on in the yard; As without ever leaving The bold tent of meaning, Where the project itself shall take care of me. I must not run out; The shelf of ideas must not be let empty.

13. When people ask, ‘When will this end?,’ They are asking about the social conclusion, Where the real answer Is very close To the wrong answer. But you’ve all been doing it, in various ways, And that's evinced as an important reminder Of what we are yet culpable for. Go upright- the answer Affects us all; Differently.

14. But! lo, A better question might be About the so-called-end, Dr. Moloch, he sayeth, - For withdrawal Is a-talkin' 'bout affect- Oh, pay no attention to changes.

15. If, enervated in heat, Wounded with guilts, Stained with sins, An image without a caption, so advanced That all she could offer were comfort care; An hour later, declare the epidemic as so over- Here, as memories are going to be difficult to archive; For the seed hath been sewn by the hackers, Where hackers had shewn a new level of stealth, For they had bade a solitary star, As softly warn on solar winds, To infiltrate networks, take The footprint far, far from Babylon, Raise columns and fresh idols- With such malware attached As may still be working.

16. Then I will appoint terror, same, Death be a-killing people- Catenated, then moderated, then killed off: Lost in the entropics of cancer That so maketh the eye to fail And the soul to languish; Thus, this incident with the Golden Calf , The incident as so nearly brought God To deracinate intrigue, where nobody new Walked in on our room for all our wide length of time; Who- who would escape the crime for a role in the affair ? Aaron was not the teflon idol-maker his resilience, Built, as of an impossible Self-reliance, should determine him to be; Aaron is eroding. And he shall sow your seed in vain, For my enemies shall maketh a relish of it; Then needst I seek for your polluted replacement; Catenated, then moderated, then killed off: The human condition shall not save itself, Ellis said; I find it normal.

17. We are told to use a common inference to decide Whether an aggadah be taken as lateral or vertical; And once you've come to smelt the rood, Drempt of the chundering of swords, Quietly dumped the lot that was- The wild dream, thus superseded With a totem dream- you turn, bearing An unforgotten, felt as a missing, As so make you up to grab of it back- Loss.

18. The calvary the calvary- To characterize this away from me, If amorality be light years over the sky-effort of casting an opinion onto everything, As all be bedraggled before the judgment Of its own rhyzomic scruples, Then I'm not passing nothing; I don’t do horses, ok, Should the fox be all of one beast You me, as the cavalry Charge Decidedly, then seven times worse- Know of our own action, a fiction; I wouldn't say we'd be comfortable In the skin of it today, or ever. If.

19. And I will bust the pith of your power; And I will glove your heaven with iron, And your earth will be rung like brass. Why not? Nobody’s coming round my house. We kept moving, flashing in at the high post. Sparks of titanium came over in a shower, Mose was feeling plangent And understood that the rituals of hegemony Were both ridiculous and necessary; filled, If pulled and scrubbed of reference to _, It was a lot to deal with- Open it, he said, whatever it is. - Did not convince them.

20. Entropy. A runner with beautiful legs- Unsure why I was called here: I can't see any questions You haven't attained a ransom for; Is there reason to speak If it isn't with answer or question?

21. And if ye walk cater-cornered unto Me, And will not hearken to My rune; I will bring seven times more plague Upon your, as-yet-unvisited, doom, Each according to your ills in the manner apt as I see them; Why, lo! Me? Sanctimonious? Is it a sin? - It's ridiculous That you should think To hear the voice of god, Opined Leviticus, - When you don't even know What I've come to mean. - If I am deluded, And I am speaking counter-wise to my meaning, Then who is it who is speaking? And if I walk contrary as to myself, And I am deluded, Who is it that should so moveth, as within me? Nae, you are deluded- You were not deluded, and You have not reached the threshold of paradox; Someone is coming to help.

22. As i stood on Bilston roundabout, No chance of a crossing- Cars Fast revveth they past- I smelt the sting Of their kind of damage; I looked into their eyes, They had an inkling To what's going on. The Golden Calf- Loss.

23. But they're just hire vans Picking up wood and what have you. So Belisha was a beacon on the road to captivity, I fear for the understanding and the regard Of increment and consequence, Now endentured within the culture, And exhibiting an inordinate amount of animus To conventionally pollute the landscape; I too have proved dependent On lorry drivers. Still no?

24. Then I'll do the crab, And I'll drop you again, A fulle seven times deeper in, Among the analogue of what Streamed out of the book of Leviticus- Manifest Destiny, Aboriginal Catastrophe, Rout the field; the rave plague- Widescreen monoculture; No one's coming for us.

25. So hear The horror At harvest time- Of produce Being plunder, A proof Upon the alter That poses itself As a given Which isn't to give.

Your past is unintrudable. Until that they come.

26. By suggesting an invalid value As to the nature of the work, I pool you into the conceit via the threat of its loss; There, lost, found budded and blossomed, Producing the taste of ripe almonds, It's base near the solar wind farm, Whispering soft that shepherd is a crook. And, woe is me! but, worry not, I aim to set it up as something, for a while. Where bread of bread be broken and never enough, Even though all women bake forever at once. Exodus hath let his rod turn unto a snake, Then stretch itself out in order To bring on the first plagues; May hey go pound sand.

27. Still? Really? I defy you, Creeping normally over Hebron In fear for the understanding and regard -As I told you- Of consequence and increment, Endentured in the culture; An inordinate amount of animus exhibited- And a swordly sword upon you- saying you're gone When you're not even off the sacremount. A vengeance of a covenant I'm unsure that you've ever agreed to, But the veil has been bought over- Pestilence and loss.

28. Furious, me, Seven times seven times seven times worse. i.e. as optimized to amplify outrage, unearthed, although, I'm not sure I've invoked enough dimension to illustrate All of what should be press-ganged unto the frontal lobe.

29. Eat your children. There- that's me. I'm my own actress.

30. And I will devoid your high places, And cut down thy sun-pillars, Leave you a skeleton crew to a ghost ship, Intemperately adrift.

And so the carcass wore on, And so hath foundered against the carcasses of idols; And so His soul hath fairly abhorred me.

31. Loss, loss, I'm not sniffing. Slowly go back, A little bit broken, Caution is the easiest option; A draggyness will reinforce a positive While performing an unintended habit; It’s not enough to treat either of us with the end of the week- Make sure the reward is something i experience as of when you are amid your behaviours. No, I'll say it, Die at the tent of an open market, Between repetition and habit formation, I shew correlation, that is not causation — Not with the repetition, for lo, I'm emotion- I will always be idiopathic- Think it a divine dispensation. So tired of the restrictions I declare the end over, And, that the virus continue to smoulder, All characteristics in being so mutable- Then Moses stood in the door of the tent, Amid multiple failed predictions, - I deserve the ability to return to my life.

32. There is a number we can all be comfortable with. Have it then, So bad as to make your enemies feel some for you. And who goes looking for replacement? Speak, and he spoke, That "something big" would partake; That a truth would emerge "next week". Some of those watching the mountain from afar Came to consider, at the end, - That, looking back, we have a weak narrative. - We have a weak narrative.

33. Scattered among the nations- waste-spaces. Some say a prediction of entropy is as the general theory Of a safe bet. What may be looked upon from within The tent of meaning to be a magical, Mystical voice of secret wisdom, As sayeth we needst people push'd unto an inflection point, Where that they pick up a stone, find another and thither lay hands- That, as a weird snake, goeth crazy and kill Itself, Aaron became spokesperson for a fish oil supplement Made up of sophisticated spies who spoke foreign languages and travelled, Which, when filled, if pulled and scrubbed of reference to a golden calf, Could descry my covenant of such that We're determined not to be, By our psychological nor pathogenic ends, But by the primary given of our socio-political twin-set, As ever, we, ridiculous, replacement and necessarily, Can go pound sand.

34. It's all about sevens, in sabbaths- I warned you, you owe me a desolation, Old saying, “Spy one, ring one, leave one.” For a sabbath is my parle with dust. Should you push back against the notion of endings, What are you thinking to be, as thus pushed back against? What are you claiming when you say, No, no it isn't ending?

35. Desolation is rest, Even the rest of a draggyness, And like most things will be, Twas named twice- Once in ignorance And once in knowledge, Which it got not on your busy weekends, when ye dwelt, While otherwise engaged, upon it. If the Act gets signed, It’ll be today; Or tomorrow. Not a day later; Before we hang up, he mutters, - Twas a smuggler what done it, And needst be taken out In the name of Babylon;

36. For I shall send a faint unto the heart of the remainder In the lands of those jaded by you; and the sound of the driven leaf Shall give chase; so away do you flee, as one fleeth from ideas of a sword Or a satellite-controlled gun in the sky, Where no terrorists are present on the ground. And so shall fall they, when none pursueth, as by the draggyness Of where we're OK with a god watching over us, Because he might maketh protection of us, By shewing no incentive as to try and dispel, And by this, the virus hath gained Our blueprint for its future, Where Dr. Moloch just said - This is this sort of conflict now- That each epidemic amplifieth the next, From where all epidemics begin, anecdotally- In China.

37. And they shall stumble, one upon the other, And so through a very depressing time, when Everything is read about, and only of how Everyone's at loggerheads And nobody's cooperating with anybody. So hie, on Trump Time? But! That’s then, The suspected culprit, be it Hackers and their alleged paymasters, The smuggler what hath done it Or more malign actors- it's No reasonable person. No reasonable person should be found liable. No reasonable person should be found liable to believe it. - Did not convince them.

38. Here Aaron hath a parting message for those who might still be caught upon the roiling forums of this sort of carcass, as he once was, - Don’t leave your habits to chance, To be a derision among My enemies— It is not real- I did not think, until the very end, that it was necessarily for me to maketh the call On whether to blow it all; lo, Tiny Habits. Twas a wonderful opportunity to be deliberate. Easy, it is, to fall in line with peace and society and be so mindful. Where the lights returneth to the eyes, That at this moment, remaineth dormant. Perish, and I shall eat you up.

39. No, pine away; with thy fathers pine inside of a tree. There's a need here, so be ok With a god that watcheth over, because he, Before he role-played the insurrection and ransacked the seat of the tent of meaning, Said that the human condition cannot save itself, That our memories are going to be difficult to achieve, So now we're lost to workshops, listening sessions, A training in equity, inclusion and cultural awareness- As unto the host, the producers and the skeleton crew, And here the real answer Is close within The carcass of the other; The parody to the tragedy, Closer than is comfortably recorded By the ummim, the thurim, The uncomfortable fascinator- The wriggle out Did not convince. Focus on the wrong.

40. So to the Sacrifice, Which is short, and for a sacrifice of well-being, Sins of the father and of their own as, finally, confessed- - You’ve been killing yourself for the rest of your lives By going after the big calf, even in jest; I don’t think we’re meant to do a life alone, While community support can be really empounding. Then Aaron invoked the analect of What was hitherto only alluded after- Lord shew mercy o'er the soule Of poor olde Martin Elginbrod, As He would do, as He is god and You, but Martin Elginbrod. Nae, no sacrifice- god can furnish himself.

\/\/\...Major disruption expected until end of service... Someone is coming to help.../\/\/

41. If your intelligence... Doesn't move... At the speed of your lips... ... Then... That's not to say... And so ... won't be said... I suppose... It's not hard to... Overflow... U's address- - It's outrageous; who gets To claim the end? As Dr. Moloch skewered, - Where U's Without wiggle room; then Why would you release this information if it wasn't true? - It intrigues my botherance and no more.

42. There's a vacuum at the top that can always Be rendered to the service of sociopathy- So Aaron had reached the merrye age of 123 when on his back, Forking it over, he remembered the covenant; How transacting with God had always left him feeling dubious- At once on the bum-end of a raw deal and at the same time, A confidence trixter; that he was present only as a matter of course, As would allow for the whole to happen and what else? I got a shot of the obligatory handshake- it looked obligatory. I will remember the land.

43. Lo, for the land, the land as she lie Forsaken, shall late enjoy, in finding Return on her sabbaths in desolation; And they shall repay of the crime by iniquity- A draggyness, and then an emptiness, A peace and a solemnity. Oh my sabbaths, my covenant of sevens, Leave you me memories, On remember the land, How pandemics End, For they who to decide, And as go pound sand, Because, even because of thee and thy Rejecting of My ordinance, and then all souls abhorred, All lost, for The attention economy Where holes get called into question, Then provoked, Beyond their outskirts Flash.- I used to run. Leave me you memories. And the land- lyrical several hundred miles westward went we. Where failed mechanisms Are left to turn as ever Then, by the cypher, Reprise to page one, But my sky bolts- They are not regular And cannot be relied upon With your imperfectly leaky recall, Unqualified insight and inadequate processing- Tis an inapt power.

44. Still, for all that, I'm with you, yeah- Why, if I sell you a pipedream That will last you out your days; Which, smiled at, across your ashes, As with a wink, so with a nod, And then that, with a fondness, thus wains;- Will it not do? A 'freewill', as a given, unto you, As also upon the universe, Whereby bestowed Within a periodic Doubling to chaos, As might interpret the efficiency Of its instruments and Deny you the myths; Let to live among bad ones. Might.

45. The weight of a human collapse Is quite light, And leaves not a trace in the ground. I lie on the bank, benign Beneath the long, lean, slantage of the sun. So Moses disposes Of my properties from here; It's good bye to the Umim and to the Thurim. My brother writes my will best, As he once bade sacrifice of me; So smite him, for I'm still a grudgeful god, Still, mostly, I'll be thinking about Egypt, I find it my Culloden, In other words, An end can occur not because We grow tired of the mode And learn to live with the damage, But, In moping that fate should be The brighter star, Get on.

46. The cave closed behind Mose On his retreat from Aaron's bier, through the thickening air; And what of the Urim and Thummim- stripp'd When he wenteth so, as before the store? Aaron's memory was left for people who came after him, The pillar of cloud which proceeded in front of the van As god disallowed, disappeared with Aaron's death. Coincidences of events form the structures of time-space and give, In inference, to the retched conundrum Of how to respond- the 'you are the same of a different Stage in the only narrative there goes to tell' notion- Sinai. At another site gazelles were found At the feet of several burial mounds- - Why'd you bury them there? Enriquez enquired. - Has to be a reason. But a hypothesis is An implicit bias to begin; Hard as it be To set off without one; a return to the rushes, To the brushes- Been moiled among words For a little too long. The angel's death march On the day of revelation; the path of obsolescence To an end of ministration; god actively bows, And then obliterates the lot of them.

Why bow? He ponders. Ponders? Never. Sorry.

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savannah-lim · 4 years ago

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You Gotta Be Squidding Me || Savannah & Winn

TIMING: Present LOCATION: Savannah’s office SUMMARY: Savannah meets with Winn to discuss Agent Sterling’s death and gets more truth than she bargained for. CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of murder and body horror

Savannah had no idea how she was supposed to put any of this in a report. Dr. Kavanagh had directed her to a gentleman called Winn Woods because she remembered she had seen something in a dream. Great. Excellent detective work, Agent. That doesn’t sound crazy at all. At this point though, Savannah was prepared to try just about anything. The Bureau had supplied her with a small rented office downtown so she at least didn’t have to interview people in a messy hotel room or keep going to the police station. She preferred not to have people looking over her shoulder. The buzz from the door told her Mr. Woods had arrived. Right on time. At least he was punctual. “Come in, have a seat. Would you like coffee or tea or anything?” she asked, closing the door after him.

It was one of those White Crests days where everything felt ominous — gray clouds overhead and a weird chill in the air, both typically foreign to August. Winn’s nightmares the night previous had been plagued with visions of the abomination, of the twisted corpse of Sterling ambling towards him, an inevitable end to what little of his life he’d managed to salvage. It was a wonder he’d managed to sleep. Since that day Sterling had washed up, Ulfric had done his level best to keep the body concealed. But ‘missing’ wasn’t much better than ‘dead’ — especially not where a federal agent was concerned. They’d both known it’d come back to bite them. And while Winn was a fine actor, one gift his mother had left him, there was no masking his unease. Human. Javier Sterling had been so painfully (pitifully?) human — until he hadn’t. Winn would tear his throat out again, spare him the indignity of his body, warped as it was. But that wasn’t the question, was it? “Coffee’s fine,” Winn said, noncommittal. It would give him time to think through a game plan. Smalltalk. He could do smalltalk. “How have you been liking White Crest, Agent Lim?”

“Coffee it is,” Savannah said, brewing a fresh pot. “Although the government doesn’t exactly offer generous funding for amenities, so I can’t promise anything about the quality.” She poured herself a coffee as well. Though she maintained a casual air about her, Savannah was already assessing the young man. His nerves were obvious, but that wasn’t necessarily an indication of guilt. If someone wasn’t nervous about being interviewed by a federal agent, there was something wrong with them. “I like it very well. It’s bizarre, which I find frustrating but also oddly comforting. I’m intrigued by things that are unusual. Something Agent Sterling had in common with me, I’m led to believe.” She handed Winn his coffee. “Did you know him well?”

“I think the first coffee I had was on the Hill. Representatives bring their own coffee, or suffer whatever their interns thought sounded good at the Trader Joe’s on Pennsylvania Ave.” Winn cocked his head. “Don’t know how much time you spent at y’all’s headquarters, or if you’ve always been on-assignment?” He took a sip from his coffee, ignoring the heat dancing across his tongue. Still too hot, but the pain helped to ground him in the moment. He’d dealt with government folks for most of his life. Could Agent Lim be discreet? It wasn’t as if the FBI was known for being bold and brash, not when subtlety could better pave the way to an answer. Winn wished, in that moment, that he had been close to Agent Sterling. Agent Lim’s hints that he’d been investigating the unusual… Could always tackle it the White Crest way, right? “Unusual?” Winn asked, more chipper than was probably wise. “Honestly, I barely knew him. Pointed him in the direction of a shop on Amity, but that was really the last time I ‘spoke’ to him.” Do not joke about Natalia killing Javier. Do not joke about Natalia killing Javier. “I can’t remember ever meeting him in-person, though.” Technically, not a lie.

"The Hill?" Savannah repeated, unsure if she was impressed or actively cringing. "Interesting. You didn't strike me as the political type." He'd struck her as a sort of empty-headed party boy, but then, there were plenty of those in politics too. "I did my training at Quantico, and spent most of my career operating around the New England area." She picked up her own coffee, sipping it. "But this isn't about me. Unless you just want to be impressed by my credentials. I might not have them much longer if I can't solve this case." And the more she looked into it, the more unsolvable it seemed. Winn's name had literally been given to her by someone who said she'd seen it in a dream. "That's interesting," she nodded, "because an anonymous source told me you might know something about his disappearance."

“Representative Delacour. Or former? Figure she’s still up there; I try not to keep up with politics. I wasn’t up there often, just enough to figure out that there was better coffee in the world.” Winn shrugged, another sip from his own cup. Talking about his mother wasn’t his favorite recreational activity, so he was more than happy to drop the subject. He tried not to flinch at Agent Lim’s suggestion, a frown flickering across his face for just a second. Getting a federal agent involved in whatever was happening in White Crest, getting a human involved in all of this. Was that fair? No. It wasn’t. But less fair was keeping her in the dark, letting her wander into getting herself killed. Or, worse, the same thing happening to her that had happened to her former co-worker. Winn tried to think of how a hunter would describe what happened to Javier, Adam’s talk of mutations and infections coming to mind. Winn couldn’t even be sure that was what it was, but something about it rang true. Javier had changed so suddenly… “How much do you know about Cordyceps, Agent Lim?” Winn said, slowly, not letting even an ounce of fear slip into his voice.

“Well, we’ve got that in common,” Savannah scoffed. She knew just enough to make informed decisions at the voting booth, but when it came down to every single representative, Savannah was pretty clueless. Winn could have made up any name and she wouldn’t have known any better. She narrowed her eyes curiously, wondering where exactly he was going with this. “Cordyceps? Isn’t it a virus or something that affects insects? The thing that makes stuff grow out of their ugly little insect heads?” Fascinating, no doubt, but she had no idea what that had to do with her case. Javier Sterling wasn’t a caterpillar.

Winn wrinkled his nose at the reminder of what the fungus did to wasps, ants, and others. Planet Earth had been a staple of insomnia-fueled nights over the last half-decade, so Winn knew the metaphor didn’t stretch all the way out. There hadn’t been anything (yet?) to suggest Winn or Ulfric had been infected by Javier. “Fungus, but yeah. They take over the host body and direct it towards a purpose. For Cordyceps, that means gettin’ up somewhere high and poofin’ its spores as far as they can go.” Winn still had more questions than answers, but… Shit, would it be nice to have someone to bounce shit off of. It wasn’t like he was good for anything more than a helpful sniff or slashin’ someone’s throat. “Damn, almost wish you could read my mind. Would make explainin’ this easier.” He drummed his fingers along the arm of the chair. “Agent Lim, I need you to take everything I’m about to say at face value, alright? I won’t lie, not if I can help it, but I’m gonna sound like I’m off my rocker. If you’re not gonna believe me, this ain’t goin’ anywhere productive.”

“Fungus. Right.” Savannah focused on him, eyeing him as he spoke, determined to figure out exactly where this conversation was going. It wasn’t often someone took the lead on her interrogations, but she figured the more talking he did, the more he might slip up and tell her something useful. God, nobody had given her anything useful in weeks… “Alright, I guess now I don’t need to watch National Geographic when I go home.” She chewed the inside of her lip. “People say that sort of thing when they’re about to say something nonsensical,” she sighed. “But nothing in this case has made sense so far, so I suppose let’s start with ridiculous and work backwards.” She gestured vaguely with her hand for him to go ahead.

Winn almost laughed at the suggestion of nonsensicality. C’mon, Agent Lim. All he was askin’ was for her to believe her co-worker turned into a squid-man hybrid, and spit out a wackadoo language, before tryin’ to kill the werewolf sittin’ in front of her! It all made perfect sense. He groaned, leaning back in the chair. If it wasn’t so close to the new moon… But naw, no werewolfing it up. “I can do ridiculous,” he said, confident. “Javier Sterling washed up one morning while I was fishin’. Took me a minute to realize it was him, ‘cause somethin’ had happened to him. See, your boy had been infected with a— with a virus, if you like. I don’t rightly know what it was, but I can tell you what I saw. Not a fungus, but somethin’ from the ocean. I’d call it a growth, but then I’d have to rationalize the tentacle that wrapped around my arm. And nothing,” Winn wet his lips, “about this is rational.” Winn paused. “I’m not done, but figure that’s a lot to take in. Take, uh, take your time. It only gets weirder.”

“Fishing.” Savannah scoffed. “Yeah, okay, go on. My co-worker washed up on shore and had a… a what? A weird fungal infection from the ocean? Are you saying it was a natural death?” What exactly was he confessing to? It didn’t make any sense. But then she remembered— “Was there a red-headed man with you?” she asked. “Covered in tattoos? Big beard?” She’d seen it in her dream too. Maybe what Regan had said wasn’t so crazy after all. Except that it was, and this whole thing was absurd. Her superiors were going to laugh her reports right out of the office if she tried to go back to them with this.

Winn squinted at the perfect recitation of Ulfric’s description. There hadn’t been anyone around that day. As far as Winn knew, only one person even knew of what had happened to Javier Sterling, outside of Ulfric and Winn themselves. There were few explanations and Winn was eager to narrow them down. “Yes,” he said, evenly. “I’m keepin’ his name out of this.” No need to bring in Ulfric. ‘Sides, Ulf was out of town, last he heard. One phone call, and one of them could tell him to stay out of town. Winn had dealt the killing blow, even if Ulfric had made sure that Javier wouldn’t get up. “An anonymous source, huh? That sure is unusual,” he said, tone almost acerbic. “How much do you know, Agent Lim?” Whether she’d intended it or not, Winn’s hackles were raised, and he was just barely stifling the low growl in the bottom of his throat.

Savannah scribbled down a jumble of notes. Not that she’d have any difficulty remembering this, of course. “I’m not at liberty to reveal my sources,” she said. “And if I tell you what I know, I can’t be sure that whatever you tell me is genuine knowledge that you came to independently.” She sighed. “Would it help if I say I saw it in a dream? Would that be more or less asinine than whatever you wanted to tell me?” She was losing her damn marbles, and she might be about to be threatened by a frat boy. “I hardly know anything, okay? Is that what you want to hear? That’s why I’m asking.”

A long, long exhale of breath. “A dream?” Winn echoed, urging himself to calm the fuck down. “Naw, that sounds about par for the course… for White Crest, anyway.” Okay, Winner. Rewind. Back to square one. “Like I said, really, I’m happy to help. But so long as you’re withholdin’ your sources — and I get it, I do — I’m goin’ to keep back the name of our ginger friend.” She hardly knew anything. That was good and bad. Technically, Winn could lie his ass off. If he wasn’t a man of his word, he’d take that as an easy out. Funny thing ‘bout bein’ a counselor? It was easier to console folks, to let ‘em know it was alright to feel their own emotions than it was for Winn to get across his point, sometimes. So, an answer. “Agent Javier Sterling is dead,” he said, evenly. “He was dyin’ when he washed up, but I don’t know what got a hold of him. We were tryin’ to help him, and he attacked my friend. I moved quickly, because otherwise my friend would have died. I cut Sterling’s throat open. My friend grabbed a knife and gutted him. It was, I hope, less painful than what the infection would have done to him.” A pause. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Fine,” Savannah sighed. “Don’t tell me who the red-headed man is. I don’t care.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she was primarily concerned with finding out what had happened to Javier. The names of everyone else involved could come later. She froze momentarily when he announced Javier’s death. It wasn’t exactly a surprise. She’d suspected it from the get-go, but there was something chilling about the confirmation. “Right, dying from, um… ocean fungus?” She didn’t mean to sound so cavalier, but the whole thing was so hard to believe. If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she’d have dismissed him out of hand. Her eyes widened and she stood up from her chair at his confession. Her body was stiff, her gaze trained upon him, as if he would disappear like a thief in the night if she so much as broke eye contact. “Did you just tell me— you killed Agent Sterling?” Savannah stared at this man, dumbfounded. “I think I’m supposed to arrest you for manslaughter,” she said, but somehow, she didn’t. She didn’t even move.

“Oh. The fungus was a metaphor. Probably more like an ocean… demon? Honestly, I was real close to dyin’ last month, so I haven’t had time to do any ‘investigating.’” Winn swung his legs up under him, crossed, and cocked his head. His body was loose. There’d be plenty of time for him to agonize over his decisions in whichever afterlife he ended up in, but this one? No. “I mean no disrespect here, Agent Lim, but d’you really think those charges’d hold up? C’mon, you’re smarter than that.” Winn hummed, taking another sip of his coffee. “I wouldn’t be convicted by any human court. The marks on Agent Sterling’s neck,” Winn raised his hand, eyeing it with faux-disinterest, “were made by claws, for one. I was actin’ in self-defense, like I said, for the other — which is, unless Maine’s laws are weird as fuck, I’m pretty sure’ll get me out without gettin’ charged. And for a third, I’d argue,” Winn sighed, “that I’m not the one who killed Agent Javier Sterling. I killed a monster using his body for somethin’. For what, I really don’t know.” Winn’s gaze turned hard. “And none of that’s goin’ to matter, ‘cause no one would believe a word either of us said.”

Savannah didn’t believe in ocean demons. Why would she? Ocean cordyceps had been hard enough to wrap her head around. This nice, respectful young man had just confessed to her as if it was just another damn August afternoon. Nothing to see here, folks. White Crest was the most bizarre place she’d ever experienced. “No, no, I don’t think they’d hold up. Where’s the evidence? Is there a body? A murder weapon? Or did you dispose of all that too?” She scoffed. Maybe she could get him on destruction of evidence, of covering up Javier’s death, but even that was a long shot. Yes, it would be her word against his, but since her story made no damn sense either, it was going to be tough to do anything at all. “I don’t know if I even believe you,” she said firmly, like that would give her some kind of one-up on him. “There is no such thing as people-possessing ocean monsters,” she said. This whole town seemed as if it was playing one huge joke on her. She folded her arms across her chest. “Take me to his body.”

Winn was quiet while Savannah ran through her litany of questions. There were only so many ways to bust open a mind, let someone know the world was much, much bigger than they imagined. Unfortunately for Agent Lim, Winn hadn’t had to explain himself — or the supernatural world at large — to a garden variety human in, uh, ever. But leading with Javier’s death had been the only option, right? Otherwise, what, shift in front of her? Naw, too dangerous, and he didn’t have spare clothes on him. “Thing about the truth? You don’t have to believe me. As for a body? Doubt it’s there, anymore. Enough flesh-eating things in our rivers that the corpse was destined to get snacked on. But, look, I get it. Evidence.” As much as he loathed to admit it, another journey through his memories could be the easiest solution here. It’d take time, time that Agent Lim didn’t necessarily have. “I want answers, same as you. But it might take some doin’, and it’s gonna require you to trust me. Trust that I want to—” fight? destroy? “—bring to justice whatever hurt Agent Sterling. I said before, I won’t lie to you. And I might be able to give you something to work with. Teamwork’d be better than workin’ against each other, right?” Winn stood, holding out his hand.

Savannah's head was spinning. There was so much sincerity in the man before her. He was just honest, kind even. She wanted to scream, as if yelling would make all this go away, somehow make it easier to digest. She could yell over and over that this wasn't true, but she somehow felt the reality of it, no matter what kind of scepticism she might have wanted to win out, somehow she just knew that Winn was telling the truth. "You know this is the fucking weirdest buddy cop duo ever," she sighed, but extended her hand to his. "I'm going to need a drink."

#paras #with: winn

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myaekingheart · 4 years ago

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103. Sage Advice

Sakura chewed her lower lip as she focused hard on her chakra. She could feel it pulse beneath her hands, growing unsteady, as her vision blurred in and out. She hated how off she was today. She could not afford any setbacks. Beside her, Ino rambled on.

“…and so I said ‘of course that’s not your job! And Sakura, when I tell you, he got so red in the face!” Truthfully, Sakura had hardly been paying attention but it wasn’t very hard to figure what Ino was on about. It was the same subject every day: the further adventures of Ino Yamanaka’s love life. The only thing that changed were the names and faces.

It was hard not to notice Ino, for better or for worse. As the pair traversed deeper and deeper into puberty, it was clear that Ino was far more physically mature. Sakura tried not to be bothered by it. She tried not to focus on what she lacked but it was so hard to ignore. Sakura snuck a glance at her colleague and her heart leapt into her throat. Ino’s hair was always shiny and straight. Her skin was lucid and clear. She had curves in all the right places and her clothes hugged them flawlessly. No wonder she captured every boy’s attention.

Sakura huffed a stray lock of hair out of her face. Her skin, in contrast, had grown far greasier than she preferred. She could already feel a third pimple forming on her broad forehead. Her strawberry milk hair was long and unkempt, her bangs constantly falling in her face as she tried to work. Her chest was unbearably flat an her sides were too straight and her arms and legs were growing too muscular to be lithe and feminine and beautiful. Deep down, Sakura yearned to be beautiful. She wondered if anyone would ever think of her as such, but quickly swatted away the thought. She knew they wouldn’t. Not when girls like Ino were around. And besides, she knew she only really cared about one person’s opinion of her, anyway. Someone whose heart she would never get to hold. But Sasuke meant nothing to her now. Not anymore. Sakura’s focus faltered. She cursed under her breath, knowing that she could not lie to herself.

The door creaked open just as Sakura’s vision blurred again. Tsunade stepped inside with a proud smile. “You girls have really been busting your asses in here” she commented. “Why don’t you both take the afternoon off? Go get some fresh air, relax for a little while. You definitely deserve it.” Here, she glanced to Sakura specifically, who stared back at her with wide, uncertain eyes.

Normally, Sakura would protest and insist she needed to continue working but all things considered, today she felt far too dizzy and chaotic. The room was caving in and her mind refused to shut up. Before Tsunade could say another word, Sakura had already shed her lab coat and raced out the door.

Ino blinked, brow cocked and eyes wide. She met’s Tsunade’s equally confused gaze, pondering, “I wonder what’s gotten into her.”

Sakura’s feet pounded against the ground as she weaved through the afternoon crowds. The ache in her chest urged her further, overflowing with a desperation to catapult into bed and cocoon herself within her blankets. To completely disappear from the world. Become an effervescent cloud of vapor, invisible and fleeting. She could feel the weight of a thousand eyes, a thousand passerby, scrutinizing her. A million invisible ants crawled across her body at their fictional stares. She needed to get out of here. She needed to go home.

The people around her suddenly became a blur as a thud to her chest snapped her out of her daze. It took all of two seconds to realize she was on the ground with someone else’s groceries scattered around her. “I-I’m so sorry!” Sakura stammered. She automatically crawled over to help pick them up, cradling onions and carrots and cups of instant ramen. All the while, she kept her head low, unable to look the unfortunate victim in the eye. It was for the best, anyway. Her overgrown bangs helped to hide the fact that she was on the verge of tears.

“Hey, it’s alright” a voice, strangely familiar, replied. The woman reached her hand out for the same pack of wasabi peas that Sakura had reached for, and that was when she saw it: an engagement ring. Golden and delicate with pearl inlay. Sakura understood in a moment. Rei.

Ever since that night she had stupidly tried to woo her sensei, Sakura had felt an overwhelming anxiety toward Rei. She wondered if Kakashi had told her what happened between them and if that disaster had influenced Rei’s opinion of her. She was embarrassed to have ever thought that what she was doing was okay or healthy or helpful at all. She was embarrassed because Rei was strong and capable and within the appropriate age range—all qualities that Sakura knew she would never possess.

Truthfully, it was not that Sakura was in love with her sensei. Rather, she was in love with the idea of being loved. The idea of being desirable by someone, of being thought of as beautiful and capable and strong. Kakashi just so happened to be the easiest target. He had proven himself skiled and knowledgeable and therefore his judgment was unmatched. Sakura was jealous, she quickly realized, not because she wanted Kakashi for herself but because she wanted to be the type of person that someone like Kakashi could admire. She wanted to be loved in the same capacity that they loved one another, committed to and protected and revered. She wanted maturity and respect. The ideal romance.

Sakura willed her heart to steady as she croaked out a halfhearted, “Your ring is beautiful.”

Rei’s cheeks immediately blushed, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Thank you” she replied wistfully. “To be honest I’m still trying to get used to it all.”

“I can imagine” Sakura whispered. As happy as she was for them, this did not excuse the fact that this all seemed so abrupt. She wasn’t sure why, but it had felt like someone had punched her in the gut. Hard. “Well, congratulations” she blurted, jumping to her feet. Her hands were beginning to shake. She needed to get out of here as soon as possible. “I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.”

Rei stood alongside her, cocking a brow. Sakura’s anxiety was nearly palpable. “Hey, wait, before you go” she said, reaching out to gently brush Sakura’s forearm. Sakura froze and that pesky lump rose higher and higher in her throat. The ring glinted in the sunlight and for a split second, Sakura wondered if she would ever be the type of person to get married herself. If anyone would ever love her so much as to commit themselves to her for the rest of their lives. The thought nearly made her vomit. Rei’s brows furrowed. “Is everything okay?”

Sakura blinked and then swatted at the air dismissively, recoiling from Rei’s touch. “What? Of course! Everything is just dandy!” she lied.

Nodding slowly, Rei replied, “Alright, I just wanted to make sure. You, uh, you look really tired.”

Sakura’s cheeks burned. Yet another imperfection added to the list. The fact that it was Rei pointing it out made it that much worse. “I’ve just been working a lot lately” she said. “At the hospital.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Rei exclaimed. She shifted the weight of her grocery bag to the opposite hip. “How have things been going with that? I’ve overheard Lady Tsunade talk about how dedicated you’ve been. Seems she’s really proud of you.”

Proud. That word didn’t sit right with Sakura. She wasn’t sure why. “It’s really not that big a deal” Sakura said, dropping her eyes to the ground. This conversation was dragging on for far too long. She felt the weight of it all caving in on her, trapping her. There was no escape in sight. With a sharp sigh, Sakura finally snapped. “It’s just a lot of hard work and and takes tons of concentration and I’m on my feet all day and my head constantly hurts and it all wouldn’t be so bad if my stupid hair wasn’t constantly falling in my face and distracting me so much that at this point, I’m about ready to just shave my stupid head!”

Sakura’s outburst had, unfortunately, attracted the attention of various passerby. She was growing deranged and unhinged. She was transforming into a metaphorical beast, claws sharp and mouth foaming. Hugging her groceries to her chest, Rei blinked as she processed the situation. Then, after a few moments of awkward silence, replied, “I could cut it for you.”

Sakura froze, brows furrowed. “…huh?” she murmured. At first, she didn’t evn comprehend Rei’s response. When it finally hit her, it didn’t make an ounce of sense. Sakura could not bring herself to believe that there was any reason for Rei to be kind to her, especially in a moment like this.

“Your hair” Rei replied. “I can cut it for you if you want.”

“A-are you sure…?” Sakura asked.

Rei grinned and gave a confident nod. “Mmhmm. I’ve been cutting my own hair for years” she said, huffing the long bangs out of her face.

“I mean, I wouldn’t want to impose” Sakura replied, wrapping her arms across her abdomen. The thought of being within Rei and Kakashi’s home almost felt unclean, as if she was invading some sacred adult space where children like her were not welcome. Glimpsing their domestic life terrified her.

Rei chewed her lower lip, picking up on Sakura’s uncertainty. “If it means anything to you” she said, “Kakashi is away on a mission for the next few days so it would just be the two of us. Not sure whether that scares you more or less, though.” Here, she added an awkward little laugh—the kind that attempts to lighten a steadily intensifying mood.

Rei was not going to lie and pretend like her and Sakura knew each other deeply. She didn’t expect Kakashi’s pupil to feel comfortable in her presence alone. Yet in such a vulnerable state, being around a man may be just as uncomfortable if not moreso. Besides, this presented an interesting opportunity. Deep down, Rei wanted to grow closer to Sakura. If Kakashi was her mentor in the technical aspects, Rei felt compelled to be her mentor in the womanly aspects. In how to navigate this rocky, horrifying journey of adolescence within the ninja world. How many others did Sakura have to depend upon? Her parents were happily married, yes, but if Rei knew anything about teenage girls, it was that their mothers were the last people they confided in. Or at least that was true of Rei and her own mother, but perhaps Sakura was different. Perhaps she didn’t need anyone else’s support. And yet Rei was smarter than that. She could tell in the way Sakura carried herself, the anxiety pulsing through her aura, that she was alone and insecure. That she could use a confidante, a sister, a friend. If Rei was capable of fulfilling that role for her, then so be it.

Sakura chewed her lip as she considered the proposition. Rei’s eyes were so unkind, her voice so soft. The way the sun shone upon her, Sakura could argue that she almost even looked angelic. Some shinobi savior come to rescue her from her petty, adolescent depression. And then an “okay” was spilling from her mouth before she could further overthink it. They set the date for that Thursday at two in the afternoon.

Sakura retreated home in a daze, barely saying hello to her parents as she floated upstairs and flopped into bed. She would have three days to chew over her circumstances and consider backing out. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to. But she was never really sure of anything anymore. Burying her face in her pillow, Sakura sucked in a deep breath and broke down.

Rei rested a hand upon Toshio’s head as, the following day, they strolled through the village. Overhead, the cherry blossoms were on the verge of blooming. All the while, Rei thought of Sakura. Rei had a responsibility to her now. She knew that Thursday was going to be about more than just hair. But how was she supposed to guide and assure a young girl? Rei had no experience. She wanted to do this right, to ensure that she was providing Sakura with the best possible support and resources. The longer Rei chewed over the matter, the clearer the solution became. There was only one person she could depend upon for help in this. She patted her thigh and picked up speed as she raced toward the old apartments on the other side of town. In a second story window, a stained glass lamp flickered.

Chikara was just settling down for her afternoon tea when Rei knocked on the door. No matter how times she stepped foot in her sensei’s apartment, Rei was consistently taken aback by how unreal the aura of the place always felt. The windows were adorned with heavy brocade curtains turned back by thick, golden rope and large armchairs upholstered with lavish florals were angled just so in front of her round wooden table, set with a lace cloth and fine china. A fancy little teapot whined on the stove and the whole place smelled like lavender.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to stop by” Chikara replied, ushering her student inside. “It seems your engagement is the talk of the town.”

“Apparently so” Rei blushed. She slowly sank into one of the armchairs as Chikara poured her a cup of Earl Grey. It wasn’t necessarily Rei’s favorite but she sipped it as a courtesy anyway. She knew that for Chikara, it tasted like home.

“Well, let’s see the ring then” Chikara said, taking a seat herself. A small smile touched her lips as she poured her own tea. Rei extended her hand out across the table, the ring glinting in the afternoon sunlight. A satisfied smile touched Chikara’s lips. “Who knew Kakashi had such fine taste?” she jested. “It’s truly beautiful, Rei. I’m incredibly happy for you.”

Rei drew her hand back and smiled sofly. “Thank you, Chikara-sensei” she replied. “It’s so weird to think how far him and I have come. I never thought this day would happen.”

“I know you didn’t” Chikara replied. She set the teapot down on a dainty potholder and took a small pastry from the platter in the center of the table. Raspberry jam oozed from the center as she took a bite. “I always did, though” she added.

Rei blinked, pausing as her teacup just reached her lips. “You did…?” she asked.

“Mmhmm” Chikara nodded. “You know what they say about that red string of fate” she hummed. “I knew Kakashi’s life was far too intertwined with yours for you to ever end up with anyone else. It was bound to happen. Besides, Minato and I were very close friends once upon a time. You’d be surprised what senseis say to each other behind closed doors.”

The thought of Chikara knowing something that Rei didn’t heightened both her anxiety and her curioisity. That suspicious smile on her face sent shivers down her spine. “Do I want to know?” Rei croaked.

Chikara chuckled and swatted at the air. “Don’t get so panicked, Rei” she dismissed. “It was nothing you wouldn’t expect. Just the relaying of some childish gossip.”

“Like what?!” Rei exclaimed. Despite Chikara’s casual demeanor, this realization did not help quell her nerves. Her curiosity was far too strong. Not that it even mattered what Kakashi had said about her ten years ago, but he had been so distant back then. She was not involved in that part of his life, so to know of whatever fleeting thoughts he may have had about her made her feel desperate. Toshio rested his head in her lap, and Rei fed him a crumb of plain cake.

Chikara wiped a smudge of jam off her lip and shook her head. “If you must know, I only really remember one instance in which a young Obito Uchiha mentioned something about you to him during an argument. Minato had said that the minute he heard your name, Kakashi’s face turned red and he got rather defensive. Told Obito to never bring you into things, that he had no business and that you were not a part of this or something to that effect.” She tried to remain as casual and flippant as she could, to make it seem as if it wasn’t a very big deal, but it was to Rei.

At first, there was shock. An uncertainty. And then that warm, tingly joy bubbled up from the center of her chest. Rei’s cheeks blushed as she clutched her left hand to her chest and giggled softly. “Well, thank you for telling me that” she said. “I know it doesn’t really mean anything now, but it’s still nice to know. I’m glad he still cared about me back then as much as I did him.”

Nodding, Chikara smiled and replied, “It was exactly that sort of thing that made me confident that all of this was destined to happen.”

A wistful expression crossed Rei’s face then as she swirled the tea in her teacup. “But god, there was no way of really knowing back then, you know?” she laughed. “I know I definitely didn’t have any faith in it. I was so annoying back then…fuck, how did you ever put up with me?”

“A lot of patience and faith” Chikara replied. “You girls were certainly not easy to raise.” Here, she laughed softly to herself, getting caught up in her nostalgia. She thought of Naru and her incessant gossiping, of Sekkachi and her quick temper, and of Rei’s physical weakness. They were up against so much, and yet they all had a dream that they worked so hard to reach. “I think I did as good a job as I could have” Chikara gave a definitive nod.

“You did an amazing job” Rei reassured. “That’s actually part of the reason why I wanted to talk with you, by the way.” Chikara cocked a brow, her curioisity piqued. With a flourish of her hand, she urged Rei to continue. “The next generation needs some of your wisdom.”

Approaching Kakashi and Rei’s apartment was daunting. Sakura stood before the front door for five minutes contemplating whether to knock or run. Even if, physically, Kakashi was absent, his presence still loomed over the whole place. He was there in the books on the shelves, his dirty clothes in the hamper, the way he’d leave little pieces of himself scattered around the house. Sakura sucked in a deep breath before rapping her knuckles against the door—fast, fearful, frantic. Toshio’s rabid barking only further heightened her anxiety.

Rei answered the door with a soft smile, tender and cautious enough for treating fragile young hearts. She ushered Sakura inside, apologizing under her breath for Toshio’s enthusiasm. “Just let him sniff your hand and get used to your scent” she suggested. Sakura limply hung her hand out in front of her so the dog could take a whiff. He moved slowly at first, as if studying her every move, then pressed his nose to her palm. His whiskers tickled against her fingers, his nose cold and wet.

As her and the dog got acquainted, Sakura looked around the apartment. For such a small space, it was filled with incredible light. Rei spread a large sheet out across the living room floor, then dragged a kitchen chair into the center. On the coffee table sat a brush, a comb, a pair of scissors, and a regular shaving razor. The kitchen counter was cluttered with various snack bags, half empty and fastened shut with clothespins. Puffs of fluffy white hair were scattered across the floor—an unavoidable hazard of owning a large dog. A blanket was draped carelessly over the couch with a small stack of books and an empty mug. Rei smiled sheepishly back at Sakura. “Sorry for the mess” she said. “Kakashi usually keeps me in check when it comes to housework.”

Sakura laughed nervously and gave a single nod. It was jarring to see just how messy Rei was. Not dirty, but cluttered in an almost cozy, comfortingly imperfect manner. She had never expected Kakashi to be attracted to someone like this but if anything, this was the first of many frays on the thread of her expectations. This, of course, then slapped her with the realization of what she had expected for him: someone who was flawlessly domestic, almost plastic. The novel housewife. She wasn’t quite sure why. And yet in the moment, this made so much more sense. Of course Kakashi would love someone like this. Someone who was relaxed and peaceful, who could make a house into a home simply by living there.

Once Toshio was finally comfortable with Sakura’s presence, Rei motioned for her to sit down. Sakura obliged, settling in with hands folded in her lap. “So what kind of cut do you want?” Rei asked, grabbing the scissors. “Not that I’m super experienced at this or anything but if you had something specific in mind, I can see what I can do.”

“Just a trim is fine…” Sakura replied quietly. She shifted slightly as Rei grabbed another sheet and draped it around her shoulders, clasping it at her neck with a clothespin. Then, with a single nod in understanding, Rei grabbed the scissors and began assessing Sakura’s hair.

Sakura watched as Rei circled her, pursing her lips and furrowing her brows. She felt like a specimen in a lab and began to wonder what parts of her, specifically, were under scrutiny. Rei held up a lock of hair between her middle and index finger and asked, “Is this length alright?”

“Um…sure…” Sakura replied.

“Because if you want it longer or shorter, don’t hesitate to tell me” Rei said. “It’s your hair, you have the final say in it.”

“Well, um…” Sakura stammered. She couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact. “What length do you think would look good? I want something that can flatter my, um…figure.” She wrapped her arms insecurely around her flat chest and Rei quickly got the idea.

Nodding once, she replied, “I think something short would be good. I know you said you got sick of your hair getting in the way when you were working. Maybe shoulder length would be alright? Something kind of like how you had it before, maybe?”

Sakura’s eyes grew frantic as she asked “But isn’t that going to make me look younger?” The last thing she wanted was to look like a child.

“I don’t think so” Rei replied. “From what I’ve heard, a lot of people say that short hair makes you look more grown-up. I mean, if that’s what you’re going for.”

“Then chop it all off” Sakura abruptly replied. Rei chuckled under her breath before getting to work. Sakura watched as each lock of hair fell to the floor, long strands cascading down onto the bright white sheet. With each sharp snip of the scissors, she felt herself spiralling deeper and deeper into her own internal madness. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe she didn’t really want her hair cut. Maybe she wasn’t prepared for this kind of change, for the exposure and vulnerability that came with a transformation like this. “That’s a lot of hair” she whispered, voice shaky.

“Don’t worry” Rei smiled. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”

Sakura tried to believe her but with how much mess was on the floor, she feared she would be bald by the end of this. She regretted lamenting a few days prior about shaving her head. Bald really wasn’t a good look for her. “Hey, Rei…?” Sakura asked after a few more moments of silence. Rei peeked around at her, cocking a brow in curiosity. “Can you leave my bangs kind of long?” she requested. “I just, you know…would rather cover up all of this.” Here, she awkwardly pointed to the patch of zits on her broad, shiny forehead.

Rei gave a single nod in understanding as she finished carving out layers into Sakura’s hair with a razor. As she skirted around to the front, she replied, “You know, I heard azuki beans are good for acne.”

“Really?” Sakura asked.

“Mmhmm” Rei replied. “I tend to break out a lot during, you know, that time of the month but a friend of mine told me about how exfoliating with azuki beans can help. She’s chock full of weird home remedies like that. She’s always been super organic and shit when it comes to food and wellness.” Rei chuckled softly at this, wondering what Sakura thought of that sort of thing as a medical ninja herself.

As Rei stepped back to survey her work, Sakura dropped her eyes to the ground. The scrutiny made her anxious. And then, with a melodic hum, Rei disappeared through the bedroom door. She rooted around in the bathroom cabinets for a moment before reemerging with a handheld mirror. “I hope I did alright” she said, handing the mirror to Sakura. The young kunoichi took it carefully and held it up to view her new hairstyle. It was practically the same as she used to wear it, and yet there was something distinctly different this time. Perhaps it was that her face no longer looked as round and childish as it did before, or that her cheeks were no longer as cherubic and blushed. Or maybe it was the way her eyes had already grown weary and dull. Regardless, something seemed off and she wasn’t sure what to do about it.

“It��it looks great” Sakura croaked. She could hardly bring herself to lie about it. And truthfully, it wasn’t the haircut itself that was bad. Sakura was actually quite impressed with how skillful Rei was with a pair of scissors. Sakura’s general displeasure was impossible to hide from Rei, though. The redhead immediately spun around, a look of quiet panic in her eyes.

“You hate it” she deduced. “What is it? Is it the length? Should I have kept it longer? Or did I mess up the bangs? Maybe I can fix it. I really don’t want you to leave here unhappy.” The thought of having upset this young girl terrified Rei. She knew there was a reason why she didn’t cut other people’s hair. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sakura shook her head, swallowing back the urge to cry. “No, it’s fine. Really” she insisted. “I guess it’s just…a big change.” Rei’s face softened as she sunk down onto the arm of the couch, reaching the threshold of relief. Sakura unclipped the sheet from around her neck and let it fall to the floor, running her fingers through her hair so as to shake away the stray pieces. Feeling how short and light it was brought her right back to those days of her youth and a sob forced its way past her lips.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry” Rei replied, clapping her hand over her mouth. “This was a dumb idea. We never should’ve done this. I knew I’d fuck up. I’m so sorry. I never meant to upset you.”

“I-It’s really not that!” Sakura frantically assured her. The look of panic in Rei’s eyes was jarring. Sakura had never expected her to be so self-conscious. And knowing she was at fault for such distress only worsened Sakura’s mood. I really can’t do anything right, she thought to herself. “It just feels kind of weird” she muttered. “I’ve always felt kind of weird about the short hair.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” Rei asked. “You were allowed to say no.”

“I-I don’t know” Sakura replied. “I didn’t know what else I wanted but…I never know anything anymore. It’s just all messed up.” With a soft sob, she buried her face in her hands. “I just…I don’t know, I never feel like myself anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Rei cocked a brow, nodding slowly. “I think it’s normal for girls your age to feel like this, you know” she said.

“Well, if it’s so normal then why is stupid Ino always flawless and confident and beautiful?” Sakura suddenly snapped. “Why does she have so many guys falling all over her and asking her out? Meanwhile I can’t even get one boy to look at me like that! Not that he’s even here to begin with!”

And then suddenly Rei knew exactly what was going on. She fought the knowing little smile threatening to creep across her lips. “This is about Sasuke, isn’t it?” she asked.

Even the mention of his name sent Sakura spiralling. She froze, her heart pounding in her chest, before slowly staring back at Rei like she had just ripped the head off an infant. “W-what…?” she finally whispered, her voice hoarse and strained. Was she really that transparent?

Rei leaned her elbows on her knees and replied, “Kakashi told me what happened at Ichiraku. I know how much you’ve been struggling with Sasuke’s deflection and honestly? I understand what you’re going through.”

Sakura blinked, unsure what to do with this information. At first, she was furious. How dare Kakashi-sensei tell others of what happened that night. But of course he would tell Rei. They were engaged, after all. They likely told each other everything. And then her fury transformed into defensive confusion. Her mind lingered on that one sentence: I understand what you’re going through. Sakura recoiled, frowning. Rei could never. How could she? She had everything she could ever want. She was strong and attractive and had won the heart of the man she loved. She was one of the lucky ones.

“You don’t believe me” Rei said, catching on Sakura’s offense. A light chuckle broke past her lips and in that moment, Sakura could’ve punched her. Or at least she would have if she could.

“I’ve seen the way Kakashi-sensei looks at you” Sakura muttered. “He’s always loved you.”

“And what makes you so sure about that?” Rei smiled. “Things haven’t always been that simple, you know.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “I doubt that.” Rei pursed her lips as she watched Sakura reach up to toy with a lock of hair. She twirled it around her finger and tugged at it so that a few individual strands floated down into her lap. “I’m so stupid” she whispered. “You could never understand.”

With a determined grin, Rei leaned forward. “Try me.”

Sakura hadn’t expected Rei to suddenly become so fiercely confident. That glimmer in her eyes told Sakura she had challenged the wrong person and she considered just running right out the door. But, again, there was also this magnetism. A little voice telling Sakura that it was okay, that Rei was safe. Toshio scooted nearer and rested his massive head in Sakura’s lap. She stroked his silky ear and sighed. “I’m just…so tired of wasting my time trying to impress other people” she murmured. “I should be doing things to impress myself, but…but I don’t even like myself to begin with. Everything just feels so messed up in my head and I’m constantly so self conscious and scared and uncomfortable in my body.”

Rei frowned, her eyes brimming with sympathy. “It’s so easy to compare ourselves” she said. “I’ve fallen into that same exact trap and it fucking sucks.”

Sakura cocked a brow in suspicion. “You have?” she asked.

“Only every day of my life” Rei laughed. “I mean, do you think I wake up every morning and think of myself as some sort of love goddess? Absolutely not.” Here, a small laugh escaped both her and Sakura’s lips. Despite the ring on Rei’s finger, the thought of being sexy and desirable to someone—espeically Kakashi—still seemed outrageous to her. It didn’t feel real. Rei locked her gaze on her left hand and sighed. “I wasted a lot of time comparing myself to other people, too. People I thought were more beautiful or skilled or worthy than I was. I mean, I’ve got crooked teeth and messy hair and this dumbass scar across my face. I always thought I looked like some ugly hag. I couldn’t imagine how anyone could find me loveable. Sometimes I still don’t.”

“Well, whatever. That doesn’t matter anymore” Sakura replied sourly. “No matter what you might think about yourself, you have Kakashi-sensei. Clearly he must find you loveable if he’s asked you to marry him.”

“And what makes you think you’re such a lost cause, hmm?” Rei asked.

“Because no one will ever see me as desirable and I know it!” Sakura replied. “Especially not Sasuke.”

Rei nodded slowly. “I mean…for what it’s worth, Sasuke is…well, he’s kind of going through something right now.” And you are likely the least of his priorities, Rei thought to herself but she knew better than to say so aloud. It would only make Sakura feel worse.

“I’ve been trying so hard not to think about him” Sakura replied. “I honestly hate him. I hate him so much. But then I say that and I feel so dirty and disgusting inside because I know that’s not true!” Sakura furrowed her brows and groaned in frustration. “I’ve tried to pour all of my energy into training so I can distract myself but that just leaves me even more tired and moody than I was already was. I just can’t get him out of my head. Why did he have to leave? Why couldn’t I make him stay? I can’t stop wondering where he is and what he’s doing and if he’s okay. Hell, for all I know, he could be dead right now! I just…I just want him to come home. I just want him to come back to the village and for everything to feel normal again. I don’t even care if he never loves me back. I don’t think he ever would, anyway. I’m nothing. I look at people like Ino and I just feel so ugly and disgusting. She was going on and on the other day about all of these boys who are interested in her and of course they are! She’s beautiful and charismatic and kind. Why can’t I be all of those things, too? Why can’t boys look at me that way? And want me? Is there something wrong with me?” Sakura brushed the hair out of her face and sucked in a deep breath, her voice growing shakier with each word.

“Hey, look at me” Rei insisted. “There is nothing wrong with you, okay? You have so much going for you, Sakura, and if a guy can’t see that then maybe he’s not the right person for you because you deserve someone who thinks the world of you, you know?”

By now, the tears were streaming down Sakura’s face but she didn’t even care. She had held back for so long, she couldn’t be strong anymore. She felt pathetic. “Kakashi-sensei told me that I shouldn’t measure my worth in the opinions of a boy but it’s so hard to not feel worthless compared to people like Ino, and it’s not even just that she has guys falling ove her, either. She’s so gorgeous no matter what and I just…I don’t understand. I want to be beautiful, too. Why can’t I be beautiful, too?” Sakura’s sobs overtook her again and this time, they were too strong to let her continue speaking.

Rei’s heart broke for her. It was clear that Sakura was truly in so much pain but not only that, she was also incredibly lost and angry and scared. “Oh, Sakura…” Rei murmured, rising from her seat. Then, without even a second thought, she approached to wrap the young kunoichi in a big hug. In any other context, Sakura probably would’ve felt uncomfortable and uncertain but now, so vulnerable and distraught, she fully accepted Rei’s comfort. She buried her face in the crook of Rei’s neck and held her tightly, sobbing into her shirt. Once Sakura had calmed down a bit and was able to breathe, Rei leaned back and brushed the hair out of her face. “Sakura, I’m sorry that you feel the way you do” Rei replied. “But Kakashi’s right, and I’m not just saying that because I’m his fiancée. Your worth is not defined by a boy, nor is it defined by anyone but yourself, for that matter. And you need to believe that you are worth something no matter what. I know that’s easier said than done but…but it’s true. You have so much potential, Sakura. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. I just wish you could see yourself the way that I know so many other people see you: as a strong, beautiful, talented young ninja.”

“Do you really think that?” Sakura asked, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

Rei grinned and nodded. “I really, truly do” she replied.

Sakura shook her head. “You’re being too nice to me” she said. “I don’t deserve it. Why are you being so nice to me, anyway?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Rei huffed and tried to organize her thoughts. “You know, you kind of remind me of myself when I was your age. I guess I’m telling you all the things I needed someone to say to me back then.” Sakura pursed her lips and averted her eyes, sniffling as she tucked her hair back behind her ear. “Can I tell you a story, Sakura?”

Sakura looked back at her with a confused but curious gaze. “Y-yeah, I guess…” she muttered.

Rei settled onto the edge of the coffee table and gave a single, definitive nod. A part of her was actually terrified to open up to Sakura like this but if it could help her feel less alone, then the anxiety of her own vulnerability was worth it. “When I was six, I enrolled in the academy. No one wanted me to become a ninja except for my grandmother and Kakashi. They supported me when no one else did” Rei began. She could tell Sakura was unsure of where, exactly, this was going. “I became a genin when I was ten and by that point, Kakashi had been through a lot of sadness and heartbreak. He completely rescinded his support, would tell me I was too weak to be a ninja and that I should just give up. He pushed me out of his life and barely spoke to me for over ten years. I was heartbroken. I couldn’t wrap my head around how he could do this to me. It didn’t make any sense. I was so angry, so you know what I did?”

“What?” Sakura asked, eyes wide.

“I channeled all of my energy into my training. I thought that if I wasn’t good enough for him, then I was going to bust my ass to prove to him that I had a place in this career. And honestly, it was for the best. If I had never worked as hard as I did, Kakashi and I never would’ve been reunited and we never would’ve gotten to where we are now. And I think you should do the same. I’m not saying to better yourself for the sake of Sasuke, but you need to put yourself first no matter what and take care of what you have going on with yourself. Once you take care of yourself, everything else will fall into place exactly as it’s meant to. I promise.”

“R-Rei, I had no idea that all of that—” Sakura started, but Rei stopped her before she could finish speaking.

"I know” she said. “But that’s all in the past now. It’s not important. I understand now why Kakashi did the things he did and as much as it hurt in the moment, I respect him for it now. He was only trying to protect me. The ninja world…sometimes things can get very complicated.”

Sakura laughed sarcastically under her breath, muttering, “That’s the truth.”

“But, Sakura” Rei continued, resting a hand on her shoulder, “I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, I’m here for you no matter what. I support you and I care about you.”

“Well, thank you…” Sakura replied. Then, after a moment of silence, “But…why?”

A soft smile touched Rei’s lips then. “Because being a woman in this profession means becoming part of a sisterhood. We kunoichi have to support each other and take care of each other. No one else is going to do it for us.”

Sitting there, face to face, in the dusk sunlight of that cluttered little room, Sakura felt within herself something she had never quite known before. She couldn’t put a name to it until she was returning home, shuffling through the evening crowds as merchants closed up shop for the day. She wondered if this was what it was like to have a sister, a mentor not necessarily in trade like Tsunade but in life. What had she ever even done to deserve such unwavering support? All of the thoughts and fears that Sakura had previously felt toward Rei had completely vanished. In their place, all that was left was warmth and comfort and light. As she settled into bed that night, Sakura drew the covers up under her chin and let herself appreciate the softness of her bed, the plush of her pillow, the hum of the fan above her. A soft smile touched her lips as she closed her eyes. For the first time in a long time, Sakura was at peace.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

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882.

5k Survey IX

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you? >> It was not. 402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try? >> I can’t think of anything that fits that description. Generally if I’m encouraging someone, it’s because they brought up something that they wanted to try and are anxious about it or something. 403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen? >> Man, I love Mel Brooks movies, I think he’s hilarious. Meanwhile I’m not sure if I’ve seen any Woody Allen movies but I did see a clip from A Rainy Day in New York (think that’s the title) that went viral here on tumblr and it was just... abysmally bad. I cringed the whole length of the clip (to the point of physical pain, lmao). So that’s now my frame of reference for his movies. 404. When was the last time you were up all night? >> About 2 or 3 years ago, I’d say. I remember being up all night on stimulants and ended up writing a weird Person of Interest fic (it’s definitely one of those fics that I would have dreamed of writing but would have talked myself out of writing if I’d been sober, because I would have thought it was too weird or stupid... so I’m glad it got a chance to exist), and that would have been around 3 years ago. 405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank. >> I don’t know, man.

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized? >> People are definitely way more complex than their categories would suggest, but I don’t think that means the categories are fundamentally useless. I think it’s important to keep in mind that categories are only useful to a point -- for quick communication or community-finding, for example, or for legal purposes -- and that it’s best if one doesn’t identify too strongly with one’s categories at the expense of experiencing their full complexity and mercuriality. 407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as ‘outsiders’? >> I mean, “race” to me is a pretty wack concept as a whole, so I think being proud of something like “race” is wack too. Now, if you’re proud of your culture, your ethnicity -- the specifics of your upbringing and community, not just some catch-all term that doesn’t really mean shit like “white” or “black” -- then that makes more sense to me. Even then, I’d have to hope that pride doesn’t come with a superiority complex and a system of exclusion. 408. What fictional story would you like to live through? >> I did that once. It both started and ended badly for me. To be fair, I didn’t exactly choose the story I was born into, but, you know. 409. Are cats or dogs smarter? >> It doesn’t make any sense to me to categorise animals like this. Cats and dogs both have instincts and cognitive processes that suit their species and their level of domestication, I’d assume. 410. Have you ever guessed someone’s password and broken into their diary? >> No. 411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life? >> I had a teacher in fourth grade that gave me the silent treatment for half of the year (literally. another student had to act as go-between for any communications), and that was pretty affecting. Also had a teacher that took me to court for “assault” (what I actually did was inappropriate but it definitely wasn’t assault) and got me put on probation for a year. Definitely affecting. 412. Are you more easily bored or excited? >> I’m way more easily bored. It takes a lot to get me excited. 413. What’s the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done? >> I’m not sure. 414. “What’s the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?” (- Adam Ant) >> Obviously, something is worth taking if people are willing to take a risk like that. This is a silly ass quote. 415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want? >> You act like I don’t already eat my breakfast in or near my bed. 416. What do you do only when you are upset? >> I don’t know, most of the things I do when I’m upset can intersect with other emotions. Like crying, which I also do if I’m just emotionally overwhelmed (but not necessarily in a bad way). 417. What’s the oddest CD in your collection? >> --- 418. What’s the best diary name you ever saw? >> --- 419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you? >> I don’t know. 420. Who owes you an apology? >> No one owes me anything. 421. Who deserves an apology from you? >> Can’t think of anyone I should be apologising to. If someone wants an apology, they’d better ask for it. 422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you? >> That is a list a mile long and I’m not about to get into that right now. Especially since it’s all hypothetical, since I’m not having children. 423. Which do you like best: 60’s, 70’s or 80’s fashion? >> I don’t much care for any of these. 424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you? >> --- 425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature >> I don’t know which of these words describes me. None of them seem particularly appropriate. 426. Do you own a record player? Do you use it? >> I do own one, but I rarely use it. The novelty wore off really quickly. 427. How easily do you make friends? >> Not easily. 428. What is the difference between having character and being a character? “Being a character” makes me think of someone who is a class clown, and “having character” makes me think of someone with good characteristics, like being kind, helpful, responsible, etc. <-- Sure, let’s go with that. 429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? >> I mean, I’m not usually in a situation where I’m presented with an animal to touch... outside of, you know, the normal domesticated creatures. So I don’t know if there’s any animal out there I wouldn’t ever want to touch. 430. Do you care about your weight? >> I care about it in an unhealthy, dysmorphic way. 431. Did you/will you go to the prom? >> I went. 432. Have you ever wanted to date twins? >> No. 433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could? >> I’m not in high school anymore, so I don’t care about changing it. 434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? >> I can only imagine what it would say. A lot, probably. 435. Are you artistic and creative? >> At some points, sure. 436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year? >> I don’t know, man. Probably not too much different from what I’m doing right now. 437. What are you obsessed with? >> I can never think of an answer to this question. My capacity for obsession has been greatly diminished over time, probably thanks to trauma. 438. What was the last compliment you received? >> I don’t know. 439. Do you have any brothers or sisters? >> No. 440. Who would you like to be alone with right now? >> Myself, thanks. 441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer? >> I don’t actively push people away, I’m just incredibly distant and avoidant because I don’t know how else to be, and people respond to that. 442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage? >> I’m sure for some people, it’s necessary, or else it wouldn’t exist as a thing. (Also, let’s not even get into the fact that marriage as ~romantic~ has really only become a thing in recent eras, so a prenuptial agreement is actually more traditional than anything else...) I’ve never been anywhere near that level of wealth, so, you know. It’s all irrelevant to me and my life. 443. Do you lie your way out of things? >> I don’t really need to do this, like, ever. 444. Are you better at talking or listening? >> I find listening to be way easier than talking a lot of the time. 445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime? >> Well, death, right? Not counting symbolic and metaphorical ones. 446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? >> No. 447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you? >> *shrug* 448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)? >> Nah, I’m good. 449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading? >> I did once, in fact. It was pretty cool. 450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers? >> Er.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

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pamphletstoinspire · 7 years ago

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EPISTLE OF ST. PAUL, THE APOSTLE, TO TITUS - From The Latin Vulgate Bible

Chapter 1

PREFACE.

Titus was an uncircumcised Gentile: we know not on what occasion he attached himself to St. Paul. It is however certain that he was a great utility to St. Paul in the government of the Church. --- St. Paul having preached the faith in the island of Crete, left his beloved Titus there to finish the work which he had begun. Afterwards the apostle, on a journey to Nicopolis, a city of Macedonia, wrote this epistle to Titus; in which he directs him to ordain bishops and priests for the different cities, shewing him the principal qualities necessary for a bishop, also gives him particular advice for his own conduct to his flock, exhorting him to hold to strictness of discipline, but seasoned with lenity. It was written about thirty-three years after our Lord's ascension. (Challoner)

Chapter 1

What kind of men he is to ordain priests. Some men are to be sharply rebuked.

1 Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of the elect of God, and the acknowledging of the truth, which is according to piety:

Notes & Commentary:

Ver. 1. According to the faith of the elect of God; that is, of the Christians, now the elect people of God. --- Truth, which is according to piety: because there may be truth also in things that regard not piety. By truth, St. Chrysostom here understands the truth of the Christian religion, as distinguished from the Jewish worship, which consisted in a great measure in the figures and types of truth. (Witham)

2 Unto the hope of life everlasting, which God, who lieth not, hath promised before the times of the world:

Ver. 2. Who[1] lieth not, or who cannot lie, being truth itself. --- Hath promised; that is, decreed to give life everlasting to his faithful servants. --- Before the times of the world.[2] Literally, before secular times. (Witham)

Note 1:

Ver. 2. Qui non mentitur, o apseudes.

Note 2:

Ver. 2. Ante tempora sæcularia, pro chronon aionion.

3 But hath in due times manifested his word through preaching, which is committed to me according to the commandment of God, our Savior:

Ver. 3. Manifested his word. St. Jerome understands the word incarnate; others, the word of God preached, which St. Paul says, was committed to him, &c. See St. Chrysostom, p. 383. (Witham)

4 To Titus, my beloved son, according to the common faith, grace and peace from God, the Father, and from Christ Jesus, our Saviour.

Ver. 4. To Titus, my beloved, (in the Greek, my true and[3] genuine son,...grace and peace. In the present ordinary Greek copies is added mercy, which the Protestant translators followed; but it is judiciously omitted by Dr. Wells, as not found in the best manuscripts nor in St. Chrysostom's Greek edition, nor in the ancient Greek and Latin Fathers. (Witham)

Note 3:

Ver. 4. Dilecto filio, gnesio tekno.

5 For this cause I left thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and shouldst ordain priests in every city, as I also appointed thee:

Ver. 5. That thou shouldst,[4] &c. The sense cannot be, that he was to change any thing St. Paul had ordered, but to settle things which St. Paul had not time to do; for example, to establish priests[5] in the cities, that is to say, bishops, as the same are called bishops in ver. 7; and, as St. Chrysostom and others observe, it is evident from this very place, that the word presbyter was then used to signify either priests or bishops. If St. Jerome here meant that bishops were only placed over priests by ecclesiastical and not by divine institution, as some have expounded his words, his singular opinion against so many others is not to be followed. (Witham) --- That the ordaining of priests belongs only to bishops, is evident from the Acts and from St. Paul's epistles to Timothy and Titus. It is true, St. Jerome seems to express himself as if in the primitive Church there was no great difference between priests and bishops, yet he constantly excepts giving holy orders, (ep. 85) as also confirming the baptized, by giving them the Holy Ghost by imposition of hands and holy chrism; (dial. contra Lucif. chap. iv.) which pre-eminence he attributes to bishops only. To assert that there is no distinction between a priest and bishop is an old heresy, condemned as such by the Church. See St. Epiphanius, hær. 75.; St Augustine, hær 53.

Note 4:

Ver. 5. Ut corrigas, epidiorthose, ut supercorrigas.

Note 5:

Ver. 5. Per civitates presbyteros, presbuterous. St. Chrysostom, (p. 387) tous episkopous.

6 If any be without crime, the husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of luxury, or unruly.

Ver. 6. Without crime. See the like qualifications, 1 Timothy iii. (Witham) --- These words if taken in their strictest meaning, do not seem to have all the force St. Paul meant them to have. For it is not sufficient that a bishop be free from great crimes; he ought, moreover to lead such a life as to draw others by his example to the practice of virtue. (Calmet) --- If we consult all antiquity we shall find, that if in the early infancy of the Church some who had been once married were ordained to the ministry, we shall find that after their ordination they abstained from the use of marriage. See St. Epiphanius, lib. iii. cont. hær. and lib. ii. hæres. 59.

7 For a bishop must be without crime, as the steward of God: not proud, not subject to anger, not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre:

Ver. 7. Not proud.[6] The Greek word is of an extensive signification, which the Protestants have translated self-willed. The Latin interpreter (2 Peter ii. 10.) for the same Greek word has put, pleasing themselves; as it were never pleased with others, the unhappy disposition of a proud man. (Witham)

Note 6:

Ver. 7. Non superbum. St. Jerome says, non tumidum, me authade. See Cornelius a Lapide and Legh's Critica. (2 Peter ii. 10.)

8 But given to hospitality, gentle, sober, just, holy, continent,

Ver. 8. Continent:[7] though both the Latin and Greek word signify in general, one that hath abstained, or contained, and overcome himself: yet it is particularly used for such as contain themselves from carnal pleasures. (Witham)

Note 7:

Ver. 8. Continentem, egkrate. The Protestant translate the verb, (1 Corinthians vii. 9.) If they cannot contain, let them marry.

9 Embracing that faithful word which is according to doctrine: that he may be able to exhort in sound doctrine, and to convince the gainsayers.

Ver. 9. No explanation given.

10 For there are also many disobedient, vain talkers, and seducers: especially they who are of the circumcision:

Ver. 10. For there are also many. St. Paul here alludes principally to the Jews, who were of the circumcision, from whom St. Paul suffered much during the greater part of his life. They constantly enforced the necessity of the new converted Gentiles observing the law of Moses, and of their being circumcised, if they wished to be saved. There were many Jews of this description in Crete; to resist whom, St. Paul here tells Titus he ought to appoint bishops remarkable for their zeal and learning. (Josephus; Socrates, lib. ii. chap. 38. Hist. Eccles.) --- Especially they who are of the circumcision; which shews who were chiefly the false teachers. (Witham)

11 Who must be reproved, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake.

[Ver. 11. Whole houses.[8]

Note 8:

Ver. 11. Universas domos, olous oikous.

12 One of them, a prophet of their own, said: The Cretians are always liars, evil beasts, slothful bellies.

Ver. 12. One of them, a prophet of their own.[9] He does not mean a true prophet, but as the pretended prophets of Baal were called prophets. St. Paul understands Epimenides, a poet of Crete, who by some pagan authors was thought to know things to come; but Aristotle says, he knew only things past, not to come. The ill character he gave of the Cretians was, that they were always liars, evil beasts, slothful bellies, addicted to idleness and sensual pleasures. (Witham)

Note 9:

Ver. 12. Propheta, prophetes. Cretenses, semper mendaces, malæ bestiæ, ventres pigri; Kretes, aei pseustai, kaka theria, gasteres argai. Aristotle, lib. iii. Rhetor. chap. xvii. Epimenides ille de futuris non vaticinabatur: peri ton esomenon ouk emanteueto, alla peri ton gegonoton. --- Kretixeiin was proverbially used for uttering falsehood, and it was a received adage, and very illiberal on the inhabitants of Crete, Cappadocia, and Cilicia.

Kretes, Kappodokes, Kilikes, tria Kappa Kakista.

13 This testimony is true: wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith,

Ver. 13. This testimony, or character, says the apostle, is true, by public fame of them, and therefore they must be rebuked sharply,[10] their condition and dispositions requiring it; which, therefore, is not contrary to the admonition he gave to Timothy, to be gentle towards all. (2 Timothy ii. 24.) (Witham)

Note 10:

Ver. 13. Durè, apotomos; a metaphor from surgeons cutting.

14 Not attending to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn themselves away from the truth.

Ver. 14. Jewish fables, and commandments of men. False traditions of the Jewish doctors, which were multiplied at that time. Calvin pretended from hence, that holydays and fasting days, and all ordinances of the Catholic Church were to be rejected as null, because they are the precepts of men. By the same argument must be rejected all laws and commands of princes and civil magistrates, as being the precepts of men. Fine doctrine! He might have remembered what St. Paul taught, (Romans xiii.) that all power is from God; and what Christ said, (Luke x. 16,) "He that hears you, hears me," &c. He might have observed that the men the apostle here speaks of, had turned[11] away themselves from the Christian faith. (Witham)

Note 11:

Ver. 14. Adversantium se a veritate, apostrephomenon.

15 All things are clean to the clean: but to the defiled, and unbelievers, nothing is clean, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.

Ver. 15. All things are clean to the clean. That is, no creature is evil of its own nature; and the distinction of animals, clean and unclean, is now out of date, as are the other ceremonies of the Jewish law. And that to these unfaithful, defiled men, nothing is clean, because their consciences are defiled when they make use of them against their conscience. (Witham) --- St. Paul here tells Titus, to be particularly on his guard against those who wished to introduce among Christians a distinction of meats, and to preach up the necessity of divers purifications prescribed by the Mosaic law. All kinds of meats, he says, are clean to those who preserve their hearts free from sin; it is not what enters into the body defiles a man; it is from the heart that proceed wicked desires and wicked counsels: those defile a man. But to eat with unwashed hands; to eat swine's flesh, or meat that has been offered to idols: these things in themselves are indifferent actions, though particular circumstances may make them criminal. (1 Corinthians viii. 4, 5, 6, &c.) (Calmet) --- But to the defiled, &c. On the contrary, the man whose soul is defiled with sin, or who lives in infidelity, never can possess purity of heart; whatever legal washings or purifications, whatever sacrifices or ceremonies of the law he may make use of, all these cannot wash away the stains of the soul. (Estius; Menochius; Tirinus)

16 They confess that they know God, but in their deeds they deny him: being abominable, and incredulous, and to every good work reprobate.

Ver. 16. They confess that they know God. He speaks not therefore of those who were properly infidels, without the knowledge of the true God; so that it is foolish to pretend from hence, that every action of an infidel must be a sin. (Witham)

#epistle of st. paul to titus

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skrub-ttrpg · 8 years ago

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The Aspects as in Skrub

here is the complete explanation of what Homestuck’s Aspects mean in the tabletop Game Skrub, ripped straight from the rulebook. if these seem interesting to you, and youve ever felt the desrie to play through Sburb with your friends, come check this game out!

7.2.2 The Aspects

Painting metaphors have been used before, so I will continue with that. Aspects are the media of the painting, and each aspect is like a different color (as compared to the Classes which are like different painting techniques).

But truthfully, that's an oversimplification. The Aspects are a metaphysical system, in of themselves they are Abstract concepts. This means they are the fundamental structure of the universe, and that they are not directly physical. You can not simply walk about and find ‘Breath’, you can only find things that represent Breath. More specifically, aspects are the Metaphysics of a Story. They are the sum of the fundamental concepts that make up a story. Each of the aspects opposes another, which means their purposes compare and contrast each other.

But how do abstract concepts make a story?

Through the use of Symbols. [Rose’s apple speech that symbols hold all the power]. A symbol is something that represents something else, it’s meaning manifest. Symbols can be as simple as a physical object like a pumpkin, and action like a kiss, an emotion like anger, a game mechanic like ~ath, or more complex things I call themes, like Love. A Symbol is the means to the Aspect’s end. But, interestingly enough, since they are only a means to an end that is perceived and thus subjective, a Symbol in its performance may produce multiple ends, it might unintentionally represent many aspects. This is why most people have such a hard time differentiating the aspects in the story, because they are looking at things that are being used multiple ways. It is better to look at aspects in what they are trying to accomplish rather than what they are.

This guide is organized like this;

The binary between the next two aspects

The Number; I have associated on a d12, the Aspect itself and its Trait

The Meta; what the aspect at its metaphysical core

Themes: complex concepts that don’t have specific mechanics to express them, and exist in general in the story, but still are used to support the aspects

Interaction: direct actions of the aspects, often what has to be done in order for the powers to take place

Objects: what physical objects are direct symbols

Strife Component: the in-combat representation

Status: what Emotions support them

Ultimate: the ultimate status of each aspect, and the greatest physical symbol in the Medium

Talents: talents that can be used to support the aspects

Space & Time, the basic building blocks of a story. [Screenshots of Calliope explaining space like the pages of a book, time is the turning of them]

12, Space, Imagination

Meta: the Setting.

Space is where everything takes place. The here, the there, and what's there. Its the set of the play, the buildings and props and the colors painted on everything. Anywhere that is Anywhere is Space (if you're nowhere, its void)

Themes: Creation, art, possibility, beginnings, Location. Space without time is the beginning of everything, its looking at the stage and all the props before the start of the show, nothing has had time to do anything yet, it is the setup, infinite potential of all the thing that could happen to it before whatever does happen happens. Pure space without time is simple being without action, change, cause or effect.

Interaction: moving from place to place, touch, setpeice movements.

Objects: art supplies, any physical location, plants

Strife Component: the Chess board that represents where everything is

Status: Weird, Lonely, creative

Ultimate: Noblebright, (space is omnipresent, but either Skaia or Bilious Slick could work)

Talents: Art, Dream, Science, Cartography, Fashion

1 Time, Pulchritude

Meta: the Plot

Or more specifically just the chronology of the plot, the fact that event occur one after another, and that they continue to keep occuring. Not why they occur, or the specifics of what occurs, or how they relate, just that they do.

Themes: storytelling, Destruction, music, eventuality, endings, progression. There is a later section called Timelines (itll be at the end of the pdf, cause its a mess) that explains the horribly convoluted hell that is Timetravel in this game.

Interaction: letting time go by, playing music

Objects:instruments, clocks, metronomes

Strife Component: timing in combat, turn order, Actions

Status: aloof, entropic,

Ultimate: Grimdark

Talents: rhythm, fashion, nonchalance, dance, roast

Breath & Blood, [ i dont know how to describe the relationship between Direction and Investment]

9 Breath Adroitness

Meta: Story Direction

Breath is the why to Times when. Breath is moving to what's next, where you are going, what you are doing. New, unexpected events that are introduced that push the story towards a conclusion.

Themes: the mail, flying, goals, motivation, freedom, being let loose, not tied down, New Things

Interaction: anything touching the air or wind, moving around, breathing

Strife Component: Movement, Initiative, Absconding Strife

Status: flighty, confident

Ultimate: [free? Off the Railroad], The White Queen

Talents: ride, prank, rant, nonchalance, cartography, lift

4 Blood Vim

Meta: Investment

Do you give a shit about what's happening? Blood is if and how much you care about the story and characters. Your connection to it, your bond.

Themes: Relationships, Drama, Intensity, Family, Duty, Class Structure

Interaction: contact/ submersion in a liquid, especially with blood, bleeding, grappling and holding on

Objects: blood and other liquids, Rings,

Strife Component: Teams and Leaders, Being stuck in Strife

Status: <>,<3,<3<, c3<, angry, burdened

Ultimate: Stuck. The Black Queen.

Talents: Grip, Ship, Rant,

Light & Void; Relevance

8 Light, Sagacity

Meta: Importance

Even though there a literally trillions of bits of information streaming at you at every second, you only focus on a few sparse details. This concept is utilized very visually in stage shows, you can hardly look at everything on the stage, instead, our eyes tend to be led by a tool, the spotlight. This is the role of Light, it's the way the story signifies what is important, be it objects, locations, actions, or even the players themselves.

Themes: Luck. Fortune. Agency, Sobriety. Knowledge. Attention.

Interaction: anything illuminated, in the light of some object, but especially in the light of Skaia

Strife Component: Focus, Crit Success, revealed areas

Status: Lucky(unlucky), conscious, illuminated, Smug

Ultimate: Enlightenment. Skaia.

Talents: Snark, Judgement, Wiles, Gumshoery

5 Void, Adroitness

Meta: Unimportance

If light is what is under the spotlight on a stage, then Void is what is everywhere else. Void is where you aren't supposed to look, it allows the stage crew to move around the set, because if you can't see (or hear or perceive the event in some way) it's like it doesn't even happen. But thus goes deeper than just light and shadows, it's about attention. The street magician doesn't use magic, he keeps your attention one place, and in the void that creates he performs his magic and switches the cards around.

Themes:

Objects:

Interaction: any space where light is dim or nonexistent, especially in direct shadows

Strife Component: negative Focus, Critical Failure, Non Action, hidden areas

Status: Shy, unconscious, (lack of a status afflictment)

Ultimate: Nirvana. The Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.

Talents: Creep, Ride, Prank, Nonchalance, Lie

Hope & Rage; the suspension of disbelief

11 Hope, Pluck

Meta: Suspension of Disbelief

Hope is accepting something as believable. It is saying yes, this fits, this is explainable and justifiable in the setting and tone it is present in. Hope never needs to provide an explanation why, the answer is that when you believe in magic, anything is possible!

Themes: Belief in Magic, Romantic Crushes, Imagination, Shonen Heroism, Idealised Sexuality/bodies

Interaction: in dreams

Objects: globes, white stuff, phallic symbols

Strife Component: Dealing Damage, amount and note

Status: Hopeful, ( <3 and <3< but only when they are unrequited)

Ultimate: Magical. The White King.

Talents: Pester, Dream, Ship

2 Rage Vim

Meta: Contrivance

Breaking the suspension of disbelief. Rage is the realization that no, it doesn't fit, there is no believable explanation. It is complete and utter bullshit. Things that simply do not work, that are utterly impossible and unforgivable. And Rage is the reaction against this, screaming out that something is unacceptable, or reveling in the fact that it doesn't have to work, that its simply absurd and there is no changing that.

Themes: Disillusionment, Absurdity, Reality, Real human sex/bodies

Interaction: in nightmares, when things are in pain

Objects: clowns, game Glitches,

Strife Component: Deafness Resonance, Taking Damage, Response Actions

Status: Angry(calm), Afraid, Entropic

Ultimate: Berserk. The Black King

Talents: Rant, Lift, Lie, Science, Hack

Life & Doom; Tone

10 Life Pulchritude

Meta: Light Tone

Life is about having fun! Doing silly things, remembering to laugh, doing things that excite you, not always following the silly rules we make for ourselves. Rewarding yourself to a slice of pie, the sweetest pie called life.

Themes: Fun, Enjoyment. Endulgence. Growth. Power and the will to obtain it. The power to not have worry about the rules, to laugh without fear of retaliation, the power to afford sugar. The kind of power a monarch feels as they stare down upon the ants that are their subjects. The power to enforce their will upon the world.

Imagine an eagle as it swoops down to pull trout from its watery home. Imagine the strength it must feel, the rush of excitement as it swoops down from the sky, the power it feels knowing no other birds can compete, and the satisfaction it feels with the fish meat in its stomach. That is raw, unadulterated Life.

Objects: Organic structures, food, eating utensils

Interaction: consuming something, making a Joke

Strife Component: Vigor, Refill, Vitality Gel

Status: Sweet, Sour, Excited

Ultimate: Trickster. Prospit

Talents: Roast, Wiles, Fashion, Prank,

3 Doom, Sagacity

Meta: Heavy tone

Doom is Serious business, quite literally. It is the gravity of the situation, the weight that says right now is really not the time to be making a joke.

Themes: Rules. Law and Order. Structure. Should and shouldn't or Morality. Karma. Limitations. Sacrifice. Punishments. If Life is splurging and eating the entire ice-cream cake, then Doom is eating nothing but unsweetened, bland food for a diet.

When Life is the predator, Doom is the prey.

Interaction: Dying. Following the rules. Suffering from an Ailment

Objects: Dead things,

Strife Component:Despair, Decay, Ailments, ~ath,

Status: Bitter, Salty, Afraid, Paranoid, Ailments

Ultimate: Doomed. Derse.

Talents: Snark, Gumshoery, Hack, Judgement, Grip

Mind & Heart; the Self

7 Mind, Imagination

Meta: Choices.

What the player gets to decide for themselves.

Themes: Free Will, Pure rational Insight, Politics

Interaction: words, ideas, and concepts read or heard, anything that causes a thought

Objects: clothing, Coins, Synapses, Hats

Strife Component: Strife Techniques

Status: Confused, Pretending(Mind cheats by making any feeling a Mind status, but only if the player is pretending to feel it)

Ultimate: Fake. Denizens.

Talents: Lie, Cartography, Dance, nonchalance, Judgement

6 Heart Pluck

Meta: The person playing the game

Heart is the Ultimate Self, which is literally the person playing the game. Heart represents thing’s character, what they are regardless of choice. The character traits that make up “you”. The things that you were born with.

Themes: Capabilities/Talent, Preferences/Taste, true Love, True Friendship, Desire, Intuition

Interaction: touching, especially a kiss, direct eye contact

Objects: Shoes, player symbols and color, Hats

Strife Component: the players inherent stats, Talents, Weapon Quirks

Status: (heart cheats as well by making any feeling a heart status, but only if the player is honestly feeling it), <>,<3,<3<, c3<

Ultimate: Real. Denizens.

Talents: Pester, Ship, Lie, Dance, Dream

#Aspects #homestuck #homestuck rpg

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nostalgiaispeace · 7 years ago

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626.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 36

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking? depends on if they’re good at it. 3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice? if they’d be willing to listen. 3403. Where does peace begin? starts with you. 3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches? If yes when and where? If not, why not? LOL 3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said? If yes, isn’t this a form of closing yourself off to new ideas? depends.

3406. In what ways are you closed minded? probably about some things i’m sure, but i’m learning and growing so. 3407. do you prefer beans or rice? rice. 3408. who’s a better tv dad?–dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner? - 3409. detroit or new york? NY 3410. What’s your favourite Star Wars movie? none. 3411. What’s your favourite Star Trek movie? none. 3412. How about Batman? The Dark Knight. Indiana Jones? none Lord of the rings? none harry potter? order of the phoenix. 3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be: Saddam Hussain? idk George W Bush? why’d you do 9/11? John Lennon? can we write a song together? an alien? how bad does Earth suck? God? why? Someone you knew who has died? are you proud? Steven Spielberg? can you cast me in a film, please? JD Salinger? who are you? 3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)? no If yes, what were the beings at the end of the movie? Do you see this as a possible future for humanity? What’d you think in general? 3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells ‘relief’ how do you spell: love? happiness? evil? sexyness? yummy?

WTFFFF 3416. Have you ever been to a Broadway show? no What one? - 3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)? doesn’t matter 3418. How are your family get togethers, loud and rambunctions or quiet and formal? louddddddddddd 3419. Would you be able to survive shipwrecked alone on a desert island? i don’t know. probably not. 3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his? don’t care. 3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack? Inception. 3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms? If yes, what ones? i did. random ones 3423. Is english your first language? yes. If not…How you say hello in your language: another word in your language + english translation: boob in your language: 3424. Make up a religion (make it up): no. what would it believe: 3425. Create your own country- Name of country: no. Ethnic background: Language (make it up): Other details: 3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Magic circles day: Be bald and free day: National mole day: Sylvia Plath day: Increase your psychic powers day: Waiting for the barbarians day: Air day:

WTF 3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue’s Clues: wasn’t it drugs? 3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics? neither 3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz and said, “Hey, that's a good idea!” nope. 3430. - Have you ever covered yourself in blood and laid down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident? You don’t know what you’re missing. um no 3431. Can you flare your nostrils? yes. 3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of Gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter? no 3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months? nope. 3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy? i don’t know. 3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them? idk 3436. -do you like the idea of 'like father, like son’? no. it’s not factual? 3437. Put the following musical acts in order from best to worst by numbering them..(1 for best, 2 for 2nd best, etc… 20 for worst). Avril: 2 Ashanti: 1 Joan Jett: 7 David Bowie: the Bee Gees: The Doors: 19 Tool: 5 DMX: Iggy Pop: Creed: Weezer: Ministry: Thursday: Kittie: Adam Ant: Rancid: the Clash: 6 Led Zeppelin: 20 Moby: Tom Waites: 3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member? sitcom family member. 3439. What is the wave of the future? technology. 3440. What’s your favorite old movie (before 1990)? hmm..that’s hard...Singin’ in the Rain 3441. When someone tells you that their significant other lives Really Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up? no 3442. Alaska or Hawaaii? neither 3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC? easier to fit on the sign? 3444. What is there no place to hide from? myself 3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them? not gonna lie...getting. 3446. What can you never have just one of? i dunno 3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan? nothing 3448. What would you be the patron saint of? LOL 3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid? yes. 3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!: why does my back always itch? 3451. When was the last time you ate too much? - 3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine: Oliver Sykes 3453. What have you seen that’s…bizarre? um..i dunno 3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that you boycott? What and why? Amazon. they treat their employees like shit 3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control? um no 3456. Are you too tense? probably. 3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum? still here 3458. Why aren’t comic books popular anymore? i’m pretty sure they are. 3459. Think of one friend (who?): Jordan When is the last time you saw each other? my wedding Do they smoke? no Do they believe in God? no When you first saw this friend what was your impression? i can’t remember. we were super little. Their age? 26. The top five things you think they think about? boyfriend, books, work, family, kitty. 3460. Do you say what you mean? Do you mean what you say? probably not well; yes 3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself? no 3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability naw 3463. Complete the sentence. When a problem comes along You must: cry and figure it out. 3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food– fast, cheap, tastey, healthy cheap and healthy 3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise): um..i don’t know? 3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question. KITTENS ALWAYS 3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible? i hope not. 3468. Do you get emotional watching movies? depends on the film. 3469. What makes you feel nostalgic? a fuck ton of things. 3470. Do you feel like you’ve been misplaced? yes 3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun? no 3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush? music. 3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them? i don’t know. 3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring: drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 2 taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 3 having great sex: 6 winning the lottery (one mil): 8 getting followed home by a stray animal: 4 meeting someone interesting to talk to: 5 seeing your favorite band in concert: 9 seeing a Broadway show: 7 halloween: 1 3475. Can you keep a secret? yes. 3476. Where is the tenderness? soul? 3477. What’s one song you REALLY like from the: 30’s? 40’s? 50’s? 60’s? 70’s? here? 80’s? 90’s? 00’s? 3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera? digital camera 3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision? kinda. 3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable? Why or why not? seems to be. they aren’t keen on ending it any time soon. 3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play? don’t play video games. 3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children? no 3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony? music 3484. Name four things that are AWESOME: music. sleep. harry potter. books. 3485. What’s the most creative/funny answer you can come up with for this question: What are you doing? nothing.... 3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you? yeah 3487. Are you the only person who really exists? no 3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination? no 3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination? no 3490. Can you prove you exist? How? yes. my birth certificate. 3491. What do you Have to get off your chest? none of your business. 3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them? yes 3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you? Who? maybe; i dunno 3494. Are you in therapy? yes 3495. Do you go shopping on black friday? sometimes 3496. What is the bane of your existence? humans 3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack? weird science 3498. Who’s the big winner? Lana Del Rey 3499. What are the 3 funniest: music videos? Movies? songs? 3500. Guess what? no.

#me #survey

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