#( you know .. the time Thomas accidentally shot Rey )

[feveredbcnes]

"Rydw i yma/I'm here" - Rey & Thomas

Original prompt: [x]

‘I’m not going anywhere. Hold on, kid. Rydw i yma…rydw i yma.’

         Thomas’ assertive voice drowned amongst the ringing in his ears, but he was able to make out the terrible Welsh pronunciation. Was he that bad at teaching him? It was enough to make him smile – though it was more of a grimace with the amount of pain he was in. He appreciated the effort; it was a comforting gesture. And it did a perfect job of calming him down, despite how hard his heart hammered against the inside of his heaving chest. He needed that reassurance. Somebody to simply tell him that they were here – that they were right by his side. Reynardine was always an optimist by covering up his true emotions with a sunny disposition, but he struggled to disguise the distress upon his face this time. It was evident in his blown pupils and tight grip on Thomas’ hand, trying to focus on the many callouses the man earned through his job as a hunter. But they were difficult to feel when softened by fresh blood. His appearance was horrendous, forearms covered half-way with a dark maroon stain, and clothes completely ruined from where he leaned over the younger male. It was hardly important right now. They could easily be replaced, but Reynardine could not. 

           “Is it bad, Ewythr Thomas?” It felt bad. There was a burning sensation running down the length of his right side, exploding outwards in a spiral pattern. It matched the scatter of shotgun pellets. His skin was hot enough for a fever, but he failed to retain any warmth; an uncontrollable shiver took hold of his body. And he was clearly terrified, because it was the first time he actually called the man uncle. There was no doubt about his place in their lives, fitting quite nicely in as a member of their little family over the years. It was more than enough for somebody who had nothing to begin with. He left Barrow Hill with a backpack full of what small belongings he could grab in a hurry, but now he was never without amenities. He was always well fed and watered, courtesy of their generosity. Every so often, his wanderlust sent him travelling to different places for days on end – but he always came back to the bar. It was his default safe haven. His second home where he was greeted with excitement and declarations of how much they missed him. Well – a certain blonde did. But Thomas had a way of saying it by offering the werewolf a warm smile that reached eyes highlighted by wrinkles, followed by a solid shoulder shake and a comment of–

                         ‘–welcome back, son. Shit, you worried me for a second.’

          The edges of his vision blurred, telling Reynardine that he must have drifted off for a moment. He was pretty tired. It temporarily disorientated him, Thomas’ face drifting in and out of focus; he felt drunk. But this was far from being fun for the both of them. Fun was usually reserved for their many road trips to pick up supplies, or the numerous times they were persuaded into being taste testers for Lillian’s experimental recipes. Those times involved easy conversation and laughter, not soothing words and panic-invoked curses spilling from a normally composed man. This was another category altogether. He wanted to experience those fun moments again, however, but it required staying awake. And right now, he wanted nothing more than to rest. His eyelids felt incredibly heavy, forcing him to blink rapidly in a bid to keep them open. There was nothing wrong with closing them for a second – his hazy mind helpfully supplied. But that one second made a huge difference. It was a risk that he was far too young to take.

           “’m sorry. Are you mad at me?” He had worried Thomas multiple times before. Between coming home late, to disappearing a day more than he stated, he constantly kept the man on his toes. All Hell broke loose whenever Reynardine returned with injuries, but the anger was superficial. It was never real. He doted on the boy too much and any stern words sent his way derived from the overwhelming relief of seeing him alive and well. Although Thomas bristled at the question, ready to give the young male a piece of his mind, he found himself unable to even try. There was a time and place, and right now, Reynardine needed his support not disappointment. So it was exactly what he did. He reminded him about how often he was mad at him, and that would never change so long as he kept giving him reasons to be. But he also pointed out that his reaction was what came with being family.He was allowed to fret, to fuss, and fear about him; it was his damn job at the end of the day. 

Part of that job was making sure they both returned unscathed after a hunt, as well. Safety was his number one priority, but sometimes, there were outcomes he never could have predicted and prevented. Reynardine wearing his heart upon his sleeve was one of them. He should have known. There was never a time where the young male refused to help others, always putting others above himself – even at the risk of danger. He proved that exact point tonight. A hunt had its bad days; supplies ran out, steps were miscalculated, or an enemy proved tougher than they thought. But this one was going to haunt Thomas for a while, perhaps even forever depending on whether they received help in time. It was supposed to be a simple werewolf pack hunt, but miscommunication changed the course of the night with a split-second trigger pull. A fully transformed Reynardine had seen one of their friends struggling and ran towards him as a means of protection, but with too many werewolves to keep track of, the hunter failed to recognise their usual ally. 

                                     Thomas’ warning came too late.

           Now he was holding onto his boy, waiting for somebody to assist him. It felt like nobody was coming at all, despite the numerous messages coming through to his phone, telling him that help was on the way. Each ping made him even more irritated. He wanted people, not updates. Time was moving slowly, but Reynardine was losing strength quickly – and those frightened eyes remained staring up at him. It drove a guilty dragger straight into his heart. He promised Lillian that he was going to keep her friend safe and he was not going to break it. As the werewolf concentrated on Thomas, whether through blinding pain or sheer trauma blocking out reality, he wondered what they were waiting for. Confusion settled in, trying to comprehend why the other seemed frantic. His mind switched off for a moment, but loud shouting from a distance immediately brought him back. He remembered what happened now and his shaking hand gripped Thomas’ own even tighter, afraid of letting go. What words of comfort given by the older man was met with a choked out sob, a single question being asked:

                    “Can we go home now, please? I want to go home.” 

-- response by @shiningstages --

There's this part of Thomas that makes it hard for him to look Rey in the eye. That barely speaks when spoken to; that barely touches him or even get close to him in this state. As if scared the younger could shatter under any simple graze of skin or ginger poke. Things happen - Thomas knows that better than most - but this...He had felt his heart and soul shatter like that in a long while.

"He'll have to recuperate at home for awhile," wasn't supposed to be a sentence that jabbed him in the heart, but it did. At home. They were supposed to be a safe haven for the man; a place to find solace away from the lonely roads; a union of laughter and warm smiles and a family founded though hardship. A family - Christ, the thought twisted the knife. He almost killed his family...So many years of learning and bonding between them all almost ended in accidental bloodshed.

It takes all of Thomas' willpower to face him while Lillian is away. The girl was practically his bedside nurse otherwise, and no one batted an eyelash at her clinginess with him. Nearly losing her best friend - a brother figure and person she promised to be there for no matter what - took such a mental toll on her. Sleepless nights, constant visits to him before he was well enough to come home, and then staying by his side whenever possible at the bar. She of course knew she couldn't be a bother to his recover, but that didn't mean shed couldn't silently do all of her homework and huntress research in his room. Nor that Rey couldn't be her food taste tester, the amount of cooking as well as baking skyrocketing ever since he was well enough for full, solid meals. Whatever she thought she could do for him, she did. Whenever she felt she could be around him, she was there by his side. No one would dare separate her from Rey, and no one even thought of trying.

Thomas especially so, mainly because he knew Rey was getting properly cared for by her. But she had to go to school at some point, and Thomas had to venture into his room one day. It wasn't like he could avoid the guilt building up in his chest forever. Not when Rey, even as awkward as he could be during tense moments, tried to lighten the mood whenever the older man brought him food or new clothes. Remarks on the remnants of Lillian left behind during her rushes to school helped the most - passing thoughts on her behavior, comments on her food, chuckles at her attempted ideas to cheer either of them up. Of course, the latter wasn't too explored by Thomas. He knew that, at the end of the day, his niece never blamed him for what happened. Even though she hadn't looked at Thomas the same for days afterwards, eventually she held him and cried in his arms when she knew Rey was going to be okay, and Thomas couldn't help but cry with her, the few times such an emotion was visible to her. Her heart was too kind; her love for both men too strong that, when all threat of death was cleared, she couldn't help but try her best to support both of them. It made Thomas worry that she was pushing herself for the umpteenth time, but he couldn't exactly be the best guardian when he himself couldn't properly get over it either. So he let her be, both to save his heart from aching too much during the day, and for his niece to heal in her own way.

But, outside of that, Thomas just couldn't face the boy. Making minimal comments about if he was eating properly, the bare minimum of scolding while helping him change into fresh clothes - until the other could properly do it himself - asking if he needed, anything else, and then leaving the room. His senses were heightened throughout the day to hear for any ruckus from Rey's room, even when the bar's crowds started to form outside his office, but other than that he barely ventured to see him. The threat of bringing up that night at all - opening up those still fresh wounds and seeing the visions of his bloody nephew cradled so tightly in his arms outside of his night terrors - was enough to make the room feel like a danger zone every time he walked near it. Even if talking about it relived the tension in the air; even if having a heart-to-heart could solve all of their problems, Thomas refused it. Whether it was stubbornness over wanting to somehow repent for supposed sins, or just not wanting to feel so much pain burst from either of them over their feelings, or a combination of them both, Thomas' heart had gone back to the locked cage it had been for the younger male all those years ago.

...Though it couldn't stay like that forever. With Lillian in the middle of a busy school day, it was up to Thomas to bring Rey his lunch. A light sandwich, homemade applesauce curtesy of the girl, and a bit of homemade kettle chips that Thomas could manage to fry - All brought up on a tray to Reynardine's room. Hesitation before a deep breath, a light knocking at the door, a wait for a response...Nothing. More hesitation, Thomas starting to shake but then instantly calling himself a coward, before awkwardly opening the door so none of the food fell to the ground. Seeing Rey's eyes closed made his heart stop for a moment, but seeing the gentle rhythm of breathing made him then sigh in relief. Tiptoeing with such care, putting the food down on the desk gingerly, and pouring fresh water into the boy's empty cup without any loud splashing at all. Hearing movement makes his eyes go back to the boy, seeing him toss and turn a little in his sleep before settling again, face turned towards the hunter - mumbling with the smallest smile on his face. A sight that makes the weight on his chest lift, before all his thoughts make it choke the air out of his lungs again. His grip on the water pitcher tightening before he remembers he has to put it down, clanging more than he'd like, but only producing another mumble from the boy. Then fists go into his pockets, as if Rey could see how he tried to keep his shit together, staring down at him with a gaze swimming with emotion. "What are you dreaming about to produce a goofy grin like that, huh?" It an amused whispered that almost verged on condescending, venom only meant for himself regrettable mixed in; something the Thomas swallows down. Yet he can't stop looking. He even gets in closer, crouching by Rey's side as the boy turned his face near the edge of the bed, as if the distance would solve every question in his mind. He looked so peaceful, like a dog wagging his tail in his sleep while dreaming of food. The thought makes the hunter chuckle, and he wants to say it out loud, but he knows he can't...

It only brings about an instinctual gesture: a hand coming up to pat Rey's hair without a second thought. Once his palm feels that tangled mess is when sense comes back, frozen in place with that image of him comforting the boy in his arms, trying so desperately for the gesture and his voice to keep the light in his eyes. His screaming for help mixed with choked out reassurance, rain hiding both their tears of vastly different pains, wishing for so many things that all the magic in the stars should've burned out to grant him all the things he needed. Curses mixed with affirmations mixed with words he barely knew...

"Rydw i yma..." He whispered out. He was there for Reynardine. Always and forever; he would always...He catches himself before a sob can escape. Before he could accidentally grip Rey's hair too tight; before he could wallow in those visions for too long. Yet he couldn't stop his tears, silent waterfalls streaming down his face as he looked at the boy...So he closed his eyes, as if that would get rid of everything. All the feelings, all the bonding, all the hurrahs and heartache - He thought he would only ever feel pain for Lillian, not actually expecting anyone else to enter his life that he would want to care for and dote upon so much. In their own way; in their own partnership - He was Ewythr Thomas now, too.

If Rey were to die...He'd want to die with him.

"'M sorry...I'm so sorry..." It's a whisper pushed through clenched teeth, touching his forehead to the younger man's and ruffling his hair, "None of this would've happened if I...if I just..." A growl of frustration rumbled in his throat, holding back every urge to yell and pound the ground with his other fist. What was done was done, and he knew that. In the pouring rain and the dead of night, his visibility was shot to hell when he pulled the trigger, and he knew that. Reynardine was just as kind as Lillian in that he probably couldn't fully blame him for that night, and he knew that. Thomas just...Couldn't accept it. He wanted to get gunned down a million times; eaten alive or clawed into a million pieces; drowned in anguish and sorrow for a million years. Even if the world forgave him, he could never accept it properly, nor could he ever forgive himself.

[kaiisers]

OTHERS ꒰ mix ꒱

꒰ buddy daddies ⸱ fairy tail ⸱ free! ⸱ fruits basket ⸱ kuroko no basket (soon!) ⸱ spyxfamily ⸱ trigun stampede ꒱

none of the following works belong to me. credits to rightful authors. contains mature content, aimed for +18 audiences. reader discretion is advised. most of these works are f! or afab! reader. ALSO! minors + blank + ageless blogs will be blocked.

⿻ last updated: may. 01, ‘23

babying kink. ──── enji, thoma, itto, kaeya, ushijima

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need to know. ──── ukai, keigo

cw. fem!reader, dilf!ukai, coach!keigo, threesome, manhandling, throat fucking, tag team oral, black coded, sweet / nasty talk, headcannons?, impact play, overstimulation, edging, choking, unedited.

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𝐁𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒

meeting his daughter. ──── rei, kazuki

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ SUWA REI

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⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ Rei Suwa some how accepted advent of Miri in his life, had made peace with the presence of his partner, Kazuki long before Miri walked into their life. He was not willing to do it anymore, not under any circumstances but hearts does not align with our minds, does it now?

cw. undertones of fluff cuz i love miri, f!reader ( s!her pronouns ), canon typical violence, death, murder, profanity, mention of smoking, alcohol, sexual tension, mutual pinning,rei is so fvcking oblivious that I wanna bang my head on a pillow. characters include :: Kazuki Kurusu, Kyutaro Kugi, Miri Unasaka, Anna Hanyu.

pay attention to me!

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ you hope rei doesn’t expect you to just watch him play games all day, you’ll have him wanting to watch you instead.

cw. f!reader, thigh-riding while he’s gaming

tub time. ──── 1.9k

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⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ Spicy time in a tub

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cw. fem reader, cockwarming, degradation, dumbification, overstimulation, creampie

𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋

short s/o. ──── natsu, gray

cw. gn!reader, fluff, crack

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ NATSU DRAGNEEL

accidentally hurting you.

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ natsu accidentally injures you during a job

cw. gn!reader, one or two curse words, angst + bit of fluff

a knight’s first kiss.

cw. Natsu Dragneel x f!reader, SFW, fluff, suggestive behaviour, cute adorable interactions, knight AU, Natsu is simply delicious, first kiss, mentions of arranged marriages

period pains.

cw. 18+ there's no smut but it is suggestive, tw for periods, sickness, and medical issues

pride.

cw. boxer!natsu x gn!reader, modern au, sfw

general nsfw headcanons. ──── 716

cw. afab gn reader, overstimulation

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄!

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ MATSUOKA RIN

all his. ──── 679

cw. fem!reader. dark content, pseudo incest, face riding, oral (f. receiving), veeeery slight edging

sweatshirt. ──── 0.9k

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untitled.

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𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ TACHIBANA MAKOTO

cuter.

cw. breeding

𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐓

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ SŌMA HATORI

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𝐒𝐏𝐘𝐗𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ LOID FORGER

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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃𝐄

bounty. ── vash & nicholas ── 1.4k

cw. vash/f!reader/wolfwood (trigun stampede) 1.4k, poly!au, wild west!au even tho it's hard to tell in a fic this short lol, bounty hunters, this is an equilateral triangle of a relationship, fluff but suggestive, wolfwood calls reader 'kid' as a petname

bliss. ── vash & Nicholas ── 3k

cw. poly!au, wild west!au, bounty hunters, smut, oral (f!receiving), fingering, masturbation (m), cum eating, finger sucking, wolfwood calls reader 'kid' as a petname, there will be a part 3 where nico gets his moment i promise!

thoughts. ──── vash, nicholas

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ just some thots about the trigun boys enjoy <333

cw. gender neutral! reader, mentions of sm*king, praise, oral, I think I forgot smth but we die like men ig

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ VASH THE STAMPEDE

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⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ vash has never fallen in love—not before you, that is.

cw. mutual pining, slightly jealous vash (of nicholas), confessions, fluff

bittersweet. ──── 7k

cw. heavy on the wild wild west core here, light angst, smut, fingering, needy vanilla sex, domesticity, mentions of alcohol/alcoholism, boot-throwing related violence. 18+ NSFW MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

this is wrong, right?

cw. male masturbation (vash), imagined sex?? (basically vash gets off thinking about reader), reader has tits and a vagina, voyerism (kinda)

scars. ──── 0.7k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ you wonder how vash smiles so easily with all his scars, and he shows you

cw. fluff, mentions of scars

vash is sweet.

cw. n/sfw, mdni, bf!vash x afab!reader, oral (afab!receiving), marking

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ NICHOLAS WOLFWOOD

flustering wolfwood.

𖨂 ⸱ ꕤ ⸱ MILLION KNIVES ⸱ NAI

human.

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ nai can’t bring himself to hate you—until you almost make him feel human, that is.

cw. gn! reader, slightly suggestive but also not rly, fluff if you squint but also idk if it’s rly fluff, kissing and all that good stuff lolz

[youremyonlyhope]

The Force Awakens

Almost 4 years ago, I started my Star Wars rewatch by watching the original series in preparation to watch the Force Awakens. Then I rewatched the prequels before The Last Jedi. And now I’m seeing Rise of Skywalker on Sunday, so it’s time to rewatch the 2 other sequels.

I’ve rewatched the Force Awakens a couple of times since I first saw it, so it should still be fresh in my mind. As for the Last Jedi, I have not been able to bring myself to watch that one because of the ending. Not because I hated it, I loved it, but because it hurts.

Also, this gives me a distraction so I don’t get spoiled for Rise of Skywalker. Again. Can’t believe I’ve been spoiled twice already in just 2 days... luckily it was the same spoiler twice. One that was vague and I hoped it wasn’t right, but then the other one was a gif of the scene so now I know it’s true. Ugh...

This is super long and I apologize in advance.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...” I didn’t see the Force Awakens in theaters. I saw it at home nearly a year later (after getting spoiled for all major plot points during that year). So I can’t IMAGINE the pure joy that people felt when they got to see the opening title crawl for the first time in 10 years. I wish I had seen it in theaters. Ok. I don’t like that I can’t pause Disney+ with the spacebar like other streaming sites let me... or maybe it’s just my computer. ANYWAY. I forgot that the opening crawl literally says “Skywalker, the last Jedi” in it, accidentally telling us the title of the next movie. Yeah so I can already tell I’ll be pausing every like 2 seconds. But I love this opening shot of a ship blocking out a MOON. Oh and NOW the spacebar works to pause. One of those stormtroopers is Finn. Awww. BB8! I didn’t realize he’s (they’re?) the first character we see (that we know is an important character since at this point we don’t really know which stormtrooper is Finn). Poe! Giving a message to a droid... so I know we like to think of Poe as the Han of the sequel trio... but honestly he’s the Leia. Yeah I mean... a friend (or at least co-worker) smearing their blood on your face with their hand as they die is definitely traumatizing enough to make you rethink your life. Finn, I don’t blame you. I started this scene like “Oh we’re gonna get the Knights of Ren and Kylo freezing the blaster ray using the Force” then I got so into the scene that I forgot Kylo was going to show up at all.

It’s not a Star Wars rewatch if my grandma doesn’t call and interrupt at least once. This time it was right as Kylo came out of the ship.

Kylo’s powerful. I’ll give him that. Holding that blaster ray for as long as he's about to. I love Poe looking back at it. Poe’s first lines to Kylo are joking about who gets to talk first, when Kylo’s literally still holding a blaster ray in midair and knows Poe has the map he wants. And people say “General Hugs” during a battle was out of character. GENERAL PHASMA! GWENDOLINE MY QUEEN! Poor baby Finn. [BB8 moans softly] BB8 NO DON’T CRY. Oh poor Finn. But yay first time we see his face! It just hit me that now I’m the same age/older than John and Daisy when they filmed this... great.... AND REY! I remember when we first saw footage of her climbing around, I said to my dad “I think that’s supposed to be Han and Leia’s daughter.” So far I’m wrong. I’ve been holding out hope for years that maybe just maybe there will be a twist and I’m right. I’m fine with her parents being nobodies, but I kind of want to be right. I’m probably not. The scale of that ship behind her... The shot of her speeding across the desert has such... original trilogy vibes. It never registered to me that Rey has some wilting flowers. That brings new meaning to the “so much green” scene later... Awwww the practical effect bread... Ok. I’m being nit picky, but they drained it just a split second too early. If it’d drained just a millisecond later, it would have been perfectly timed with the inflation of the bread. But that’s just me nitpicking for no reason. It’s an impressive effect. “Classified? Me too. Big secret.” LOL even at the time I knew the fandom was making a big fuss about that line for nothing. Too on the nose for it to truly be a big secret she’s keeping from the world. I figured she meant it was a big secret to her. Of course... then people got mad that they wasted their time analyzing that... it’s their own fault really. I forgot that they actually eventually get the location of the map out of Poe. Oh and hi General Hugs! “This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape.” Yep Poe is Leia. She was initially being rescued, but then ends up having to help rescue her rescuer(s) while they’re trying to rescue her. “Because it’s the right thing to do.” If Finn was raised as a stormtrooper, even just to work in sanitation, he wouldn’t necessarily have a moral compass since he wouldn’t know what’s right... at this point I think he just knows he doesn’t like killing... Like how Zuko didn’t realize he wasn’t good because he was taught something else was good. (YES. Finn is closer to Zuko) “You need a pilot” “I need a pilot” Ok see so it’s not necessarily what’s right, but he knows this is how he can get out. Sorta selfish, but not really. Oooooh yeah! It’s Thomas Brodie-Sangster! Forgot he was in this. Wilhelm Scream! Poe naming Finn. Aww. Ok see. How does Kylo know Finn’s identification? Did he ask Phasma “who was the one with the blood on his helmet?” right after they got back on the ship? Because otherwise, he’d have no way to tell them apart in that moment, I don’t think they have their names on their armor unless I never noticed, and even then Kylo would be too far away to read it. There’s a picture of little baby Finn... he was so young when the First Order took him (I assume they took him, I’d hate it if his parents sent him there) OH WOW. ANOTHER WOMAN! Oh and it’s whats-her-face, she was in Deathly Hallows Part 1. (IMDB says Kate Fleetwood) See, back in the day the Empire had no women in their ranks. This is the only thing the First Order is doing right, equal opportunity to be a space Nazi. I forgot that the wreckage gets sucked into the sand... that sucks. Here’s where Poe would have died if Oscar hadn’t been so charismatic. Also, do we ever find out how he survived this? I forgot about the explosion afterwards that just adds insult to injury. Was that necessary? Was that supposed to be funny? If it was, why are people criticizing the Last Jedi’s humor if this moment tries to make us laugh at a character dying... I hope that wasn’t meant to be funny... My poor baby... stranded on a strange desert planet... alone... with the First Order looking for him... I love this giant hippo thing. I want one.

Whiny fanboys: Rey’s a Mary Sue! She can’t know how to fight already! Rey: *Been fighting creeps at the market since she was born*

And I love how she caught Finn. Oh nooo BB8 no don’t cry! Finn, babe, why would you just tell Rey about the map!? Babe! I get that you want to seem reliable and credible, but baby! No! The way Rey was sort of horrified by Finn holding her hand... makes me really wonder what she’s been through. “Stop taking my hand!” Aww and how she offers her hand to him. “The garbage will do” Oh how I wish I hadn’t been spoiled that that was the Millennium Falcon reveal. But that line did create a meme so that’s fun. Wow the Millennium Falcon has been through a LOT. That dramatic zoom in as they fly into the ship (I’m sorry, I do not have ship names memorized) was very Torchwood. The sudden, almost shaky and unnecessary zoom. That upside down shot though. Amazing. And also terrifying. “You’re ok. He’s with the Resistance” *BB8 gives Finn a pointed look* I am DEAD. Oh and the Powerpoint style transitions between scenes. Very necessary. Vital to every Star Wars movie. Kylo. You’re like 30. You should not still have temper tantrums. Grow up. Awww BB8. The internal battle. Followed by the thumbs up. Adorable. Literally for a second I was like “How could the First Order override the controls of the Millennium - HAN!!!!” HAN AND CHEWIE!!!!! I will never forget watching the Force Awakens trailer for the first time with my dad, and nearly sobbing over “Chewie... we’re home.” Also what the hell, Chewie has been through SO MUCH and he’s STILL around! He was protecting Yoda in Revenge of the Sith! And then ends up enslaved and being fed people before Han meets him in Solo!?!?!? What?!?!?!? AND had a whole family before all of that!?!??!?!?!?

Also, watching Solo and realizing that Chewie’s been forced to eat people literally shattered my heart into a billion pieces. I wanted to cry seeing him covered in that mud and trying to kill Han.

Aww, Han and Chewie know the hiding places. I’m not even a third of the way through and I’ve written way too much.

Finn: Han Solo, the Rebellion general? Rey: No, the smuggler! Finn: Wasn’t he a war hero? Chewie: *Grunts and shrugs ‘I don’t know’*

That says so much about all of their characters. Oh god the 12 parsecs thing. I was legitimately MAD when I was watching Solo and realized that they had actually figured out a way to make the 12 parsecs thing make sense. That they actually solved and fixed George Lucas’ mistake, when he was literally just trying to find a cool word and didn’t care about the actual meaning. I am still so angry they managed to fix it in a way that made sense. I started raging once I realized that they were doing it. Awww Han in the cockpit. Ok Finn there you go again, telling everyone about the map to Luke. You’re lucky that Han’s one of the few people it’s good to tell. It could have gone so wrong with Rey. That subtle Binary Sunset piercing my heart. Hey it’s that kid from that Eaters of Light episode of Doctor Who. And when I watched that episode I was like hey it’s that kid from the Force Awakens. He looks familiar to me, but those are the only two things I’ve seen him in. “I got a bad feeling about this” He said the thing! Yeah the Rathtars are gross. Aww and he grabbed her hand again to run. I just noticed that they made the camera lens blurry on the edge, like some of the goo got on it. “That was lucky.” Rey’s so modest. I forgot that they hyperspeeded through the Rathtar... also did that happen in the original series too or am I just remembering it wrong? Anyway, Admiral Holdo did it best. 2nd mention of the last Jedi. Also, LOL remember when everyone was theorizing who Snoke was? My favorite theory was that he was Mace Windu. That was a WILD conspiracy theory. “In the hands of your father... Han Solo.” Oh the dramatic reveal. Awww BB8 running away from Chewie’s roar. Awwww the hologram game! And it’s still stop motion! “It’s true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it.” I forget what video I was watching, but they pointed out that this was Han’s arc. Learning to believe in the Force. I guess in that way, he has a satisfying ending. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy” I remember people saying that Han’s face is basically him thinking ‘...oh no... looks like I gotta adopt this kid.’

...It’s hitting me that we’re going to see Leia in this movie... and I’m gonna be emotional...

...AM I JUST NOW REALIZING THAT CHEWIE’S STRAP OVER HIS CHEST IS A STRAP TO A BAG? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST TO HOLD AMMO OR SOMETHING?!?!? I’ve been a Star Wars fan for HOW many years and I’m just noticing this?!!? Also, in an alternate universe, Han survives and Rey goes off with him and Chewie and they have smuggling adventures and everyone’s happy and alive. Catina music by Lin Manuel! Yay! WOLFMAN! THEY PUT THE WOLFMAN IN THIS! WOW. Look at them shading George Lucas’s rerelease edits. ...Ok so Maz is definitely Force sensitive if she knew Han was there right away, right? Also, Maz is an example of how before Rose Tico and whoever Naomi plays in RoS (I will not google her character name because I know I will get spoiled), we very rarely see AND hear women of color, we get just one or the other. They’re either in the background with no lines or playing a character that isn’t a human if they have lines. The only exception coming to mind is the Queen of Naboo who took over after Padme, Jamillia. Ok I forgot that the lady who rats them out to the First Order actually gets a line and isn’t painted green, so good for her! I love her costume too. Too bad she’s evil.

See. We hear the breathing of Vader, because Ani is so done with his idiot grandson worshipping him that he’s sighing in defeat in the afterlife. Ani needs to Force Ghost himself over to Kylo and be like “DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I THREW A SITH LORD DOWN A HOLE THAT IT MEANT I WAS TURNING AGAINST THE DARK SIDE? DID THAT GO OVER YOUR HEAD? DID MY ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC GO OVER YOUR HEAD??” Please, what I want most from the Rise of Skywalker (besides making sure Leia gets the proper send off she deserves) is Hayden coming back as a Force Ghost and knocking some sense into Kylo.

Oh Finn. The captions tell us who was talking during the vision... and there WAS a lot of Obi-Wan dialogue... Also poor Rey. She probably definitely remembers her parents, but just blocked it out. Now. If after the endless lines of soldiers, the podium with a giant red and black flag behind it, and the arms rising up still make the space Nazi thing go over your head... then we just can’t help you anymore. HEY! WAS THAT WHATSHERFACE?!? Ghost from Ant-Man and the Wasp? Was that her? Yes! IMDB says it was Hannah John-Kamen! Look at you girl! Too bad you’re evil too. Ok. I will admit that I blanked out for General Hugs’ speech because who wants to listen to a space Nazi. But, has the Star Destroyer been mentioned before this point in the movie? Because I literally can’t remember. If Hugs said it then I probably let my mind wander. Oh and I do appreciate these two dudes who were like “Yeah sure Finn, come with us, work for a bit, and we’ll help you get far away” and were going to let Finn come along with them. They seem nice. Also. Here’s the girl who’s not Freema Ageman. Not every black girl is Martha Jones. The entire internet was like “Martha was in Star Wars!” then I watched the movie and I was like “...that literally was not Freema what are you all on about?” IMDB says she’s Maisie Richardson-Sellers, she’s also in Legends of Tomorrow, which is something I do hope to watch one day. So good for her. The ion engines sounded like the TARDIS for a split second and I was VERY confused. “How did you get that?” “A good question for another time.” Ok JJ you gotta stop with all these unanswered questions that you pose. I get that that’s your thing. And that you have some term for it. But there’s too many now. This one better get answered in Rise of Skywalker. That behind the back shot though. I’m convinced Han’s Force sensitive too. Not even convinced, I think it’s canon. LOL remember when everyone named that stormtrooper who recognized Finn TR-8R.

Finn: *Manages to function using a lightsaber even though he’s only trained with blasters* Fanboys: *Silence* Rey: *Fights with a lightsaber well since she’s fought with sticks her whole life and it’s a similar concept* Fanboys: MARY SUE! SHE CAN’T BE THAT GOOD THAT FAST!

Oh my god it’s the Resistance FINALLY. POE!!!! Yes, I did just scream “Poe!!” out loud. Now, I’m not sure where these forest scenes were filmed, but if you told me the same forest where half of Merlin’s forest scenes were filmed then I would not be shocked. Merlin had some scenes in a similarly narrow trench/valley/pathway/thing. No but seriously, yes the plants look like they’re more tropical than whatever forest Merlin filmed in in the UK, but the trench looks so similar. Oh god the second we saw Leia I froze. And then Leia’s Theme played and I had a sad smile. And then C-3PO popped up and I laughed. Awwww. I love C-3PO so much. There’s so much that body language can convey. Oh no. While watching Finn and Poe reunite, I suddenly remembered that fanedit that put Helpless from Hamilton as the background of the scene. And i laughed. Oh 2015. When all we cared about was Star Wars and Hamilton. That lip bite. Oscar stop it. Billie Lourd! So I’ve realized over the years that R2D2 kind of sucks. Not that I don’t love him. But he spends the entire original trilogy lying by omission, when he could have just told them everything he knew from the prequels (since he WITNESSED everything and didn’t have his memory erased like 3PO did). And now, he just sits back while everyone scrambles to find Luke and does nothing, WHEN HE HAS THE ANSWER. Yes. I get that it’s deeper than that. But still. It’s funny to think that R2 just wants to sit back and watch the drama unfold while not telling anyone that Vader is Luke’s dad or that he has Luke’s map. (Unless I’m remembering it incorrectly and R2 doesn’t have it. If that’s the case R2 gets a pass this one time.) [It wasn’t the case, R2 doesn’t get a pass] “It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data.” C-3PO are you sure? Because I’m not. I think low-power mode means R2 wants to relax and watch the soap opera that is Star Wars unfold. “There’s still light in him, I know it.” For your sake Leia, I hope there is too. But Kylo is going to need a hell of a redemption arc in tRoS. See, and I can’t remember when I found this out, but the ashes that he puts his helmet in are the ashes of people he’s killed. Kylo Ren SAVES the ashes. He has a TUB of them in his office. What is WRONG with him!??! Yeah so him reading her mind about the ocean was just plain creepy. I just... don’t understand Reylo shippers. “You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” And he’s right to be afraid! Ani eventually had the strength to turn himself around! Kylo Ren could never! I won’t believe it till I see it! And even then I might not believe it! I think that people forget that Kylo’s supposed to be like 30 years old. I will say that Adam plays the role in this first movie like Kylo’s very young with a hint of a tiny possibility that he feels like he’s in over his head. Really he only plays it that way when the helmet’s off. So I get that he seems younger, but Adam was like 30 when he filmed this too. So why do so many fans coddle Kylo when he’s a grown man? A grown man who’s killing people. After a certain point, you can’t blame Luke or his parents or Snoke... if the guy is literally worshipping his grandfather and ignoring the fact that even Ani turned back to the light side... then the guy has issues. Rey failed twice before getting the Jedi mind trick right. Also, I love that Daisy’s face kind of sorta softened with less fear before she said the command and got it right. I’ve seen the scene of the stormtroopers literally going “Nope” and turning away from Kylo’s tantrum many times over the years, but I didn’t realize that Kylo screams “GUARDS” as he does it until I saw the caption just now. So not only are the stormtroopers like “I don’t want to get into that” they’re like “Let’s act like we didn’t hear him scream for us and let someone else get into that.” Which is even more hilarious. Ok it’s Starkiller not Star Destroyer. Whatever. I was close. But I knew that Luke’s last name was originally Starkiller, so I honestly should have guessed Starkiller in the first place. Whatever. Hey Admiral Akbar! The guy talking about the thermal oscillator looks familiar... was he in Night Shift... IMDB says he’s Ken Leung and yes he was in the Night Shift! Good for him! Awww that was the last time Han and Leia ever saw each other... “That’s not how the Force works.” The captions are telling me that the stormtroopers Rey is hiding from are just talking about how much their new weapons suck. That’s hilarious. “Is there a garbage shoot? Trash compactor?” Oh Han, I see what you did there. Wow, I didn’t notice that the walls of the base are rock, that it’s literally built INTO the planet. Awwwww Finn gave Rey his jacket! I was thinking she must be cold in just a t-shirt after living in a desert. Because I rewatched the last half of RotJ after Force Awakens, I was able to realize that this scene of Han and Chewie planting the bombs was a reference to RotJ, but only because of watching Force Awakens earlier that day. Really, I should have gotten the reference the other way around. “We’ll meet back here.” NOOOOO BUT YOU WON’T. THIS IS THE LAST TIME! Wait, did we not know his name was Ben before this? Was that the moment we all realized he was named after Obi-Wan? (Also, never really got that since Han and Leia knew Obi-Wan for only a couple of days at most... but whatever) Chewie keep going! Keep going and planting bombs while they’re distracted by Han! Come on! Ok I wanted to mention it earlier, but there was a lightbeam hitting Kylo when Snoke’s hologram disappeared, and that was after Snoke told him to be careful of going back to the light. Now as Han walks towards Kylo, there’s another lightbeam. It’s all very literal, but still. I like it. UH OH. I forgot about the light from the sun going away. Now Kylo’s literally in the darkness. We’re getting super literal now. (Also, I now realize that Poe’s line of “As long as we have the light we have a chance” was also a on-the-nose reference to light vs. dark and not just exposition about stopping the Starkiller, though it was also exposition.) I like to think that Han sorta knew that Kylo would kill him, and that he hoped it would eventually lead him to the light in some way and be worth it. But wow seeing Han fall hurts. OH AND LEIA. I FORGOT ABOUT LEIA KNOWING IMMEDIATELY AND JUST SINKING DOWN. OH I HURT. See. Finn’s literally just using a lightsaber like any other sword. Just hit your target with it. Because anyone can do that. Yes Rey! Summon that lightsaber! Earn that Binary Sunset! Trench run. Because Star Wars. Ok I gotta replay all of that because I was too busy getting lost in my mind about something and got distracted. Why is the Starkiller base falling apart? Ok got it, Poe hit a bunch of stuff that exploded. Cool.

Ok see. Some of the fans think fighting with a lightsaber is like a integral part of being one with the Force and being a Jedi. But literally, you just need to know is how to fight with a sword or a stick and you can fight with a lightsaber. The Force just means you’re better at predicting your opponent’s next moves, sensing the danger, knowing the best move to make, etc. That’s why Rey started winning against Kylo when he said “Join me and let me teach you the ways of the Force.” Before that, she’s just fighting like she would with her stick and all that’s doing is helping her survive and keep Kylo at bay, but she’s not winning. Being reminded that she’s Force sensitive let her tap into that and start incorporating that into the fight. Now she’s using the skills she already has, and using the Force to help her predict Kylo’s moves. She’s not magically good at using a lightsaber, she just already had skills that were easily transferable to a lightsaber and using the Force to enhance it.

I don’t think we’ve lost any arms yet in this movie, besides C-3PO off-screen.

OH. AND SNOKE SAYS KYLO NEEDS TO COMPLETE HIS TRAINING! He’s not even a full Sith Lord yet! He’s still being trained! So no, Rey did not just defeat a powerful Sith Lord, she defeated a Sith Lord in training. And she barely defeated him, he was already injured, she just fought hard enough to bring him to the ground. Then the ground literally separated them. Basically, I’m tired of people being mad that Rey has skills, she already had them. Plus, she’s not magically the most powerful Jedi ever like Ani was, she’s just strong. So go critique Ani for being literal space Jesus.

Oh Chewie. He’s alone saving Finn and Rey. My heart is breaking. All teams, Poe? You mean you and the other two who are left? Ok fine, there are a couple more X-Wings behind the Millennium Falcon. You and the other 6 who are left. Playing the Love Theme one last time. I am hurting. OH. NOW YOU WAKE UP, R2D2? NOW YOU WAKE UP? AFTER HAN DIES, YOU WAKE UP? Aww BB8′s like “Dad! Give me the map! I wanna put the puzzle together!” So I was right to be mad at R2D2. Literally sitting back, watching the drama, then at the end is like “Oh by the way, I have all the rest of the information you needed.” (Yes, I realize that I guess we’re supposed to infer that he spent all those years in low power mode trying to find the map, but whatever.) “May the Force be with you.” Oh Leia. Oh Carrie. Oh R2D2 NOW you’re excited. If you wanted to see Luke so bad, you should have found the map faster. You just know Luke knew they were coming, so he was like “Let me get my cloak out and stand on the highest point all mysteriously.” since he too lives for the drama (as we saw from all the flips in RotJ). Oh I love that ending so much. Some people think Last Jedi ruins the suspense of the ending. I love it. I love that Luke takes a minute to just stare at Rey and the lightsaber before deciding to chuck it over a cliff.

I’m watching the credits, and I noticed that Harrison gets first billing. I literally just said out loud “Why does Harri- ok no fine actually” since I realized this was his last Star Wars movie, so give him first billing. He deserves it.

So that’s the Force Awakens. Very enjoyable. I forget where I heard/read this, but the Force Awakens and Rogue One are like Star Wars comfort food. Super full of nostalgia.

And I do agree at least to an extent. Especially since the Force Awakens is like A New Hope all over again. A droid with a special message. Evil character with a spherical base that destroys planets. The evil Empire’s gone, but the evil First Order has taken over. And the Rebels are now the Resistance and are not that much better off than they were before.

But I LIVE for the nostalgia. Throughout the entirety of the prequels, I said that the best moments were the callbacks/references to the original series. The sequels do that better, so I really enjoy them.

Also I don’t actually hate R2D2. But the theory/idea that R2 is secretly a horrible person because of the fact he seems to know everything but never actually tell anyone what he knows is hilarious to me. And I never realized how well the Force Awakens fits into that theory. So it’s super funny to me.

Now hopefully, I can watch all of The Last Jedi tomorrow. I have a bit of a day... and this rewatch took like 4 hours since I literally paused every 2 seconds to write something. For the Last Jedi, I need to try to write less so I can pause less and finish the movie.