#( so i hope everyone understands and still wants to write either on discord or just non ship related things )

[leadxxr]

So I need to make a bit of an announcement. As much as I’m worried this might upset some of my ship partners, I genuinely think this is the best route for me to take with Dwight since he’s developed such an intense connection with a specific character that it’s really difficult for me to channel muse when we wind up projecting onto each other so strongly; he gets jealous even if it's not the same verse, and as a result that projects onto me and vice versa. Sounds kinda silly but it legitimately does feel that way because in the back of my head, he’s brooding, he’s upset, and I can’t really write other things when my muse is feeling that way. I don’t really have control over it and he just projects so hard his feelings since I'm a huge empath, even if he's a fictional character. I still channel his voice in my head. Because whereas I enjoy reading others’ threads, he absolutely cannot stand it when I come across the shippy ones.

That being said, I never thought I’d do this, but Dwight is going to become exclusive with Danny ( @ferociium ) from this point forward.

The only romantic/sexual ships I will have on this blog now will be for the following:

Danny Johnson: @ferociium

Literally the love of Dwight's life. Something that started out extremely toxic until he was somehow able to get through to Danny's core, exposing the very real human side that still existed, even if in such a small quantity. A mutual obsession and devotion to each other that admittedly does end up being a little codependent and somewhat unhealthy, but as far as they're concerned, they will never ever part from one another.

Adriana Imai: @condxmnxd

A toxic "ship" in which Skull Merchant actively takes advantage of Dwight in the same verse as his relationship with Danny - please note that this can be an extremely triggering relationship as it will use non-con tags. Please blacklist these things to protect yourself from potentially triggering material.

All of this being said, I am still open to writing shippy things with others on Discord in a private server !! I don't want any of my writing partners to feel slighted whatsoever, but I'm tired of losing muse any time I come across something that triggers him in my head.

Anything NSFW will also be moved to Discord. The only NSFW threads I will have on dash will be with the blogs mentioned above. I've had a lot of fun exploring different dynamics and the like, but it's time to let Dwight settle down with someone because admittedly, I am kind of losing track of dynamics/they seem to be blending together, making characterization a bit difficult to maintain.

[lornaka]

Thoughts on TBB s2 finale

Spoilers under the cut. Most of this is a compilation of thoughts I’ve previously expressed on twitter and discord so nothing new to some of you perhaps! Disclaimer: I still love the show with my whole heart and greatly respect the hard work of everyone who worked on it, so please don’t hate on the show in replies and comments to this post. Either keep it to relevant constructive criticism of the narrative and thoughtful analysis/discussion, or make your own posts, thanks

Idk I was just left.. hollow after s2 finale of tbb, like, there were no upsides/positive stimulating moments? It didn't leave me with an excited feeling for what's to come, more like "this is very bleak and miserable, I want s3 purely in the hope of it getting better somehow". I really was expecting some sort of catharsis from tbb s2 finale but got the complete opposite. It's a tell that something didn't work for me when I got no inspiration to draw anything tbh. S1 finale was confusing and not all that happy too but it left.. idk, something to be hopeful about, something affirming to it, amidst all destruction and separation.  I wonder what s3 will look like with this sort of a cliffhanger. Unless they somehow resolve it in the first few episodes of the next season, the whole format would have to be changed, no more one-off adventures between the main plot heavy episodes etc. Regarding Hunter and his complete lack of emotionality and motivation outside of his relationship with Omega, at this point I seriously can’t tell if the writers are purposefully writing Hunter in a way that makes him come off as, well, failing as a brother and a leader. All I know is that after each finale, s1 and s2, I’m left with a desire for him to own up to his mistakes to grow. I love Hunter a lot and I enjoy flawed characters with good hearts. But when they mess up, I want the narrative to frame it such, and for them to grow from there. Otherwise it’s just inconsistent writing. At this moment, I feel like Hunter needs a “redemption” arc as much as Crosshair, as far as family drama and letting each other down goes. This is why I was so happy when it seemed like they’d finally go to rescue Crosshair specifically (welp.) They needed to do that imo, Hunter most of all, he needs to own up to leaving his brother behind once and for all and actually *do* smth about it. Was it understandable when they had to flee and couldn’t come back for Cross before they knew about the chips and arguably after? Absolutely. Doesn’t change the fact that Cross was left behind and got hurt, doesn’t make it better. So even if Hunter’s decision is justified, his lack of regret over his brother getting hurt in the process is not. I can see him repressing it all bc that’s Hunter, he is the king of repressing his emotions for the sake of moving forward, but his issues do not excuse him, and I want him to gain awareness and grow past these issues.  And speaking of Crosshair. It’s so weird, structurally if nothing else, how the previous few episodes built up all these emotional stakes over Crosshair, specifically his withstanding intense torture from Hemlock meant to break him just to protect his siblings, only for the finale to completely drop the ball on it. Tech sacrifices himself on a mission he specifically urged Hunter to go on because “Crosshair is still our brother” and then Hunter is like “yeah let’s not waste Tech’s sacrifice and forget all about Crosshair, okay?”. It made no freaking sense.  S1 finale left me confused & unsatisfied with the way characters reactions didn’t fit some of their previously stablished experiences and narrative arcs. S2 put things in perspective for me somewhat, so my best hope is that s3 does the same to resolve my confusion over s2 finale.  When it comes down to basic story break down, the core theme of TBB gotta be either about a family coming together, or it is about a family separating, one way or another. Until s2 finale I was convinced it was about coming together but now.. “We don’t leave our own behind” seemed like a clear set up for the coming together theme. Now it feels almost like a misdirection, an ironic twist to subvert our expectations or mb to explore how old convictions/priorities of these characters crashed against new realities of life.  And now that they’ll never truly be able to be a whole family again (allegedly), my hope for the main theme to circle back to a family coming together in a satisfying way has been critically diminished tbh. I think it could still work with someone dying, but def not like this. Even if everyone else survives and sticks together and Cross comes back, he’ll never have closure over Tech’s absence, for example. There will be no satisfaction for us as the audience in his brother’s sacrifice on a mission to save him, no pay-off. Then what is the point?  A character death is a very powerful tool within the story, so when it happens, it needs to be done extremely right to hit the right emotional chords and not just cause frustration. What frustrates me, personally, is not the factual death of a character in the canon version of the events, but when the presentation and use of it makes no sense to me in the story but the writers are trying to sell it to me as if it should. Then I feel like I’m being emotionally manipulated and nothing makes me feel more betrayed tbh. I can come up with an infinite number of explanations for Tech’s survival. It’s incredibly easy to suspend my disbelief and just say “somehow he survived”. But if the creators themselves actively try to beat me over the head with their insistence that no, it happened and I should be sad over it, nope. That’s telling, not showing. If you want me to feel strong emotion, make me, don’t tell me that I’m supposed to be sad over a character dying just because you decided to kill them to make me sad. As for Tech’s status, the whole Schrodinger Tech situation is exactly the same as Cross’s chip in s1 finale. Everything in the narrative (Hemlock bringing his goggles is sus as hell, 100% reads as hints at him recovering Tech and then lying to Hunter to manipulate him) points to it being one way (Cross’s chip still affecting him, Tech surviving) but knowing the writers, my gut tells me it’s exactly what they say on the surface with their words and he’s gone. I hope I’m wrong because the way this death was handled is meaningless and closes so many possibilities, like I mentioned above with the family coming together in a satisfying way etc. It just doesn’t work for the story beyond cheap emotional shock value imo.  So here we are. I decided to chill until s3 and hope things will make sense as the story progresses and the intentions of the writers become clear. Right now they sure as hell aren’t. 

[birb-boyo]

I can’t make everyone stories so you can all have this instead for a late Christmas thingy

@trippygalaxy TRIPPY🥰 not gonna lie…I forgot how we met. I think it was over some Time simp content, but I don’t remember. But knowing you has been awesome. You always make me smile or laugh and just genuinely happy. I also have no idea why you, an amazing and known artist and writer married, even if it is platonic, me, some random mediocre writer🤷‍♂️ my mom would disown me if I was you and we were married irl🤷‍♂️

@vio-starzz I don’t know if you’d rather Moss or Z or Buzzy but, ’m gonna be honest with you, I used to be scared of you. Your art and writing has always been amazing and then you were mutuals with other cool/scary people so then I thought you were also scary. And then I was dragged into the pall weople and really met you and found out that you were far more cooler than scary. Like with Trippy, why the hell did you marry me? Even if it is platonic, I’m a sopping wet mess of a person and blog so like…why? It confuses me that someone like you, a artist who’s art is damn near if not mesmerizing and a writer who’s writing can make people laugh or sob, is married to a sopping wet dog🤷‍♂️

@mushr0oms-and-m0ss MUSHROOM we’ve been beasties since January💀💀💀 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR ALL BECAUSE OF A MAN ABOUT TO BITE THE DUST but seriously, you are literally the best sibling and you’re so cool and nice to talk to and your art be very yummy and I’m sorry if this sounds weird but I have trouble pitting my emotions into words😅

@cal-the-duende CAL you have no idea how amazing you are and how helpful too! It’s why I talk to you when I’m overwhelmed with my emotions. You make me feel very wanted here and thank you for talking to me, the weird socially awkward dumbass

@baileyboo2016 BAILEY I’m guessing we’re siblings or something? Me don’t know, but either way, you’re really a light out there! I mean, when I see you on the discord or in general, you’re making me laugh or just happy! With either your zing-a-dings or your random Lanayru pictures or just you screaming RULIE, it always makes me at least smile

@nancyheart11 NAN, I genuinely have no idea why you still talk to me💀💀 you are SO cool and VERY patient. I feel like I have to emphasize that patient part because you deal with everyone in the palls while being a functional adult. But anyway, I hope to write like you one day, maybe then people will actually like my writing💀 your writing is just-😌 and you are older sister material and I’ve adopted you as my older sibling btw😌

@fingerfuck-the-function KATNIP you are also my older sibling by a looooong shot…minus the flirting…but anyway, you are an amazing listener and you understand too and I really appreciate that and it makes me happy when people understand how I feel because I usually don’t understand- you make me very happy and I love talking to you, flirting and genuine talking alike

[the-blackest-spider]

This is me right now.

I'm in a state of limbo, sort of. I'm trying to figure out how to live life without having someone who needs 24/7 care as a part of it and not really having anything I need to have an escape from reality wise. It's an odd sort of struggle... I want to write, I still very much have muse and such, I think about the ooc and ic relationships I've cultivated here, more importantly those behind the characters who have been there when I've needed it the most even if they had no idea at the time.

I feel like I'm learning how to live each day all over again, and this is coming from someone who had one hell of a personal brush with death. I'm trying to finally take care of myself and learning how to do that...

Does that mean I'm never coming back here?

Truthfully I don't know...

I wish I did either way, but right now I'm figuring things out, and I don't know how long that is going to take. I wish I did, but it's one of those things that just you can't predict.

Also I have this really strong desire to have most everything fresh and new, as well as smaller and more simplified. I have no plans to remake Nat's blog, if I return to tumblr, it will be here, but I'm wanting something I can take wherever to do that with, so I need to figure that out, and get things (finances) back in order so I can (most importantly I need a new damn mattress, which kind of effects my being here too in a way).

I guess I'm realizing I need time... how much? I don't know and I really can't predict it or even ballpark it. In light of that, I completely 100% don't blame anyone for moving on, don't feel like you have to wait for me, if you do great, but I understand if you can't. I need to brush off Discord and whatnot, tho lately these days I seem to gravitate towards Facebook, which if we've talked a lot, you're more than welcome to ask for even if it's just to use their messenger deal. I'm also always ok Skype, though lately it's been questionable with reliability, but yeah...

I'm just stuck in figuring shit out limbo and wading through A LOT.

I hope everyone is doing good, and I'll make updates when I can, when I know fully what I'm doing besides the necessary basics of adult life aka sleeping, work and all that, with some exercise tossed in, since I am trying to take better care of the whole package here mental and physical, and I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves too as best you can.

[jandjsalmon]

2023 FFRC - September🍂

Hello friends! I hope you've had a wonderful September. We've started my daughter's senior year with her choosing to join the high school football team instead of the soccer team (to the shock of everyone - including her soccer coach). Therefore, we've been spending every Friday night at the field - and she scored a touchdown in her first game - so that's exciting.

My 2023 @fanfic-reading-challenge is nearly complete. The challenge has various completion levels - and if you're looking for something to help motivate you to read new things or expand your range - or even if you just want to challenge yourself, you should join us. You don't have to wait until the new year to start - and there are a bunch of us on the Discord server and it's a really nice and encouraging place to be.

–*–

September 2023

I read 58 new stories this month - and nearly 300 chapters. I'm closing in on 17 million words, so my year-long goal of 20 million words still isn't out of the realm of possibility. I also did a few podfic recordings... and was highly critical of all of them so I didn't post them. Maybe after I get more practise. lol.

Anyway, I’ve gathered a couple recs. I hope you enjoy them. 💖

–*–

before i knew which life was mine (3 fic series) by @smc-27 (Harry/Allie - The Society)  Summary: She’s got this weird feeling that everything with him is so natural and normal that there’s no way to imagine them not eventually ending up friends. Which is a fucked up thought, because prior to all this, all they had ever shared were barbs back and forth, or her calling him out on being a jerk to her sister. Notes: Okay - so this series is three separate fics that feel like they're unconnected - but really they are completely connected. They're like different dimensions or universes where Harry and Allie were friends (and they don't stay just friends). These are the "other worlds".

–*–

The Percy/Jenna Anon Collection by Anonymous (Percy/Jenna - RPF - All E) Fic 1 - Howlin’ For You - A night of drunken UNO leads to explicit actions between two friends who have been secretly sleeping together. Fic 2 - Lonely Boy - A surprise visit between two friends, a phone call, and a splash of angst. And sex. Fic 3 - Gold on the Ceiling - When Jenna tells Percy it’s over she’s not sure what that means for either of them. And she doesn’t even begin to understand the gravity of her choice until she’s forced to put work on hold for the actor’s strike. Has she even been living? Or merely existing.. Light angst, heavy sex? But it’s introspective? Notes: Okay - so RPF isn't for everyone. It is for me though. This series was written by the same Anon author (it's very clear that it's the same author) - I don't know who it is, but they deserve a huge cookie. I cried during the third one. And then had to fan myself. It's an odd conundrum. The writing is amazing. I would read a million more stories by this author - rpf or fandom or whatever. If I can only figure out who they are. 😉

–*–

three conversations about one thing by @imreallyloveleee (Bughead - T)  Summary: He’d known there would be consequences when he made this decision. But he hadn’t realized how quickly they might steamroll right over him. (Jughead & Veronica & Cheryl & Betty & memories of the future. Set post-7x19.) Notes: An absolutely lovely post-script on the final season of Riverdale.

[jamiesfootball]

In these trying Ted Lasso times I am reminded of the quote-

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”

Now the first time I ran into this quote it was mistakenly credited to Roger Ebert. However, I’ve held onto it as a useful analytical tool when it comes to engaging with stories and media.

Because there are two sides to The Unmet Need: the personally fulfilling and the technically fulfilling.

If a story is only personally fulfilling, it can be a mess of a plot, have bad acting horrible writing lazy pay off, and it can still have you going ‘well yeah it’s hot garbage but I like it!’ You can ignore some technical mistakes if you’re still having fun.

If it’s only technically fulfilling, but it left an ache or anger in you, then you can understand it even if you personally gain nothing from it. It can be ‘yes I know it’s technically good and the story is solid and the acting is great but I still don’t like it’. You can dislike a thing on principle, but still acknowledged the craft that went in it. And sometimes it’s more of a ‘meh’. In fact a lot of times it’s a ‘meh’. Some things are just fine, for other people, and that’s alright.

If it’s BOTH technically and personally fulfilling, it can feel like a goddamn miracle! It’s probably you’re favorite thing! It satisfied an ache in the heart, and your brain was so happy it thought it had a heart too.

But if it’s not technically or personally fulfilling?

The criticism of the finale the main debate comes down to this.

People who are technically satisfied have identified what ticks their box for a satisfactory ending, and given passing marks. Everyone does this to an extent, and the Ted Lasso finale passed their level of what they needed from the show. Their needs are met.

People who are technically unsatisfied have mostly criticized the wrap up of the storylines. They have been struck with the haunting of unsung melodies that never reached their crescendo before the end. They will have to finish it themselves. Some of them may find in time that what sounded discordant later sounds pleasing, and their needs will be met. For the others? They are unsatisfied.

People who are personally satisfied have had an enjoyable experience and found cathartic release. Their needs are met. They found enjoyment. They can move on.

But for people who are personally unsatisfied, that is a different beast. Two beasts, actually:

One of the beasts is the hungry beast. It craved the meal at the end of the hunt. Their hopes were high and they chased and they chased and in the end there was no food. Some of them followed trails that turned out to be just space between the trees, and they never found the end of the trail. It’s upsetting. Who wouldn’t be upset to learn a race had finished without them? Who wouldn’t be angry to be led astray in a forest without a even a morsel?

The other beast- this is the kicked beast. The kicked beast is visceral. It lurks in the pages and pages of notes, and it’s the breath that fills the capslock. It’s the burning anger that some things came to be, because why would they do that? Why would they do that to that character? Don’t they realize how much that hurts? Don’t they realize how much we didn’t want that? Don’t they realize that I cared?

And that is the hardest criticism to overcome, because what it’s actually saying is, ‘From the bottom of my soul, I would never do that in my story. This is not okay.’

The important thing to note- you can not use technical arguments to soothe the beasts.

The tragic expression of an unmet need is never that the beast exists; it’s that the beast is hungry, and kicked, and it hasn’t enough stories to soothe either ache.

The other thing to remember is empathy, because you too will meet the beasts one day.

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

((I'm going to keep this succinct because if I say everything I want to say I know I'll just end up feeling frustrated (to put it both kindly and lightly) and I, ultimately, want to go forward on a positive, healthy note. That deserves to be the focus and drive rather than any deep seated frustration or upset.

With the exception of one thread (and the applicable tcol threads that are being moved over to my other blog or have been moved already) I'm going to be dropping all interactions here and permanently archiving this blog.

This probably disappoints some of you but I've dealt with all of this long enough. This blog isn't a safe, healthy or good place for me to be in; in all honesty it hasn't been for over a year now, and no matter what I do to express myself, no matter how I try to accommodate others either ic or ooc, no matter what I offer or suggest, no matter who I speak to or how I reach out it just..... doesn't matter. Despite all efforts on my part I've either been ignored or, worse, sent hate message after hate message for reasons I cannot even begin to comprehend. And that's not fair. That's not fair and it never has been fair and I'm tired. I've put up with all of this for far too long when I could be somewhere better instead, like my new blog, or just..... anywhere else besides here. I hate to say that, I really do, but it's true and I should've realized that sooner and maybe I shouldn't of fought so hard, I don't know.

I'm tired of not being listened to and that includes listening to myself and so I'm going to leave and do what's best for me even if it feels a little 'too late' for comfort.

I will continue to rp on this platform (and maybe that's stupid of me; who knows) but I don't know when I'll be making a new variety blog. Creating a new blog from scratch is an incredibly stressful thing for me and I've already had to do exactly that incredibly recently as everyone here knows but..somehow I'll do it. Somehow. I know I'm going to and I know that I'll be musing pretty much all of the characters featured here (like Danny, my eternal beloved bias, he'll undoubtedly still be the face of the blog lol) and I know that I'd like to see some of you there and that I still want to write with you it just..... can't be here. Not anymore. I don't know when I'll make a new blog but... hopefully it'll be soon. It'll be a completely different url and such, I can tell you that much. I'll also be even more severe about who I follow and who I don't for reasons I..... shouldn't need to go into if anyone has been paying attention.

My inbox is completely disabled and my IMs are disabled as much as they can be so please don't attempt to contact me here. If you want to interact/write with me in the meantime you can find me on my other rp blog @constellationcrowned and if you want to chat ooc, potentially get a link to the new blog whenever I make it, etc, that's what discord is for. If you already have my info that's great and if you don't (and so long as we're mutuals) you can ask me for it privately on the appropriate blog. If I'm slow to respond to people regardless of connection please don't be offended and understand that this is incredibly hard for me to do, process, etc, but it's necessary if I want to not only continue writing but to continue enjoying writing on the whole. I have my tcol blog to help with that, thank fuck, but I still love the muses here and want to write them too.

It was fun while it lasted and I hope to see some of you on my new blog (and if not that's okay too, I understand if there are hard feelings or things you can't reconcile and I won't hold that against anyone) and you know where to find me in the meantime. I'll update this pinned to something more general/concise whenever I have things set up. I hope things go better next time.))

[nightcolorz]

Hi! I just want you to know I really admire how in you fic Millennia’s gate you have caught the voices of today’s “internet gossip” in a way really fews author who use media to narrate a story manage to! 

I have commented on ao3 but I wanted to reach out on Tumblr to (hope I am not annoying you). 

You also caught the specific way in which people speak on Tumblr lmao, which is very different than others social media. 

I also appreciate how you both write humour and crack but also treat dark and complex thematics.

The whole cult shit with Armand’s discord gave me chills. But I found it a perfect way to adapt the Satanic cult thing that he went through in the canon. 

I also liked the continuous switch of the “internet population” between hating him or idolizing him. 

through the characters of Armand, you caught (in a crack fic!) not only how human can be complex and layered and victims can be imperfect and very, very flawed, but also how the “stan” culture on the internet deny this complexity wanting to reduce their influencers to either idol or demoniac figure. How people are only interested in putting others people into boxes, here the victims, there the villains, and if someone doesn’t perfectly fit the first box in the way they think he should or if someone happen to fix both the boxes in different situation, they get attacked and thrown in the trash. No one wants to UNDERSTAND Armand, but everyone want to be his judge. 

I also liked how Armand, like the little shit he is (affectionate) learn to use the hype around him, to attack Lestat and transform his feud with him in a big show for everyone to watch. 

It’s so in character for Armand, how he is put in the middle of a situation in which he is uncomfortable, with people trying either to victimize him or going through his dirty laundry to expose him, and instead of crying and fearing of being cancelled he learn how to use and manipulate the situation in his favour. I also find interesting and in character that he internet hate seems to electrize and galvanize Armand, who almost seems to like the devil-ish imagine people seem to attribuite him (at least more than when people call him a victim) and who is stronger and more malicious when people are trying to cancel him, while it break and devastate Lestat, who was on the internet in hope to being *loved*. Or, well, adored. So the hate from his followers devastate him. 

Through Lestat’s character and his background, I think, you showed well how, once someone is a public figure, their emotional turmoil and pain, even their worst moments, become all a show for entrateinment. Lestat struck me as one of those people who originally WANTED his life to be a show but because he wanted to be loved and adored, not because he wanted his pain (and, more important, the pain of the people around him) to be consumed by the public for entrateinment. But once you put your life o and inferiority on display, there is no guarantee about what the public will do with it. And this is a sad, sad lesson to learn. 

Also, David Tabloit can choke on himself- I stand by Armand in that. So can Marius. And I am curious of whatever Armand and Louis had a fling (while Louis was still with Lestat officially??), of how the Daniel and Armand’s story will continue, about what really happened with Claudia, about when and how Louis will have a more prominent role (can’t believe that he has managed to stay away from the drama until this point lmao) and I think there are others things that happened to Armand’s life in the past BEFORE Marius (like in canon? Idk the way in the first chapter he esitated before saying that a common “friend” introduced him to Marius was super sketchy and suspected). 

OMGGG absolutely do not apologize I love ur comments and ur ask so so much ur commentary absolutely made my day and I am so eager to get home so that I can write ch6 of millennia gate!! ur passion literally invigorated me lmao I'm so excited to write hehehe. U l get me ur analysis is perfect, ur comment on a03 gave me life. Ur reads of the characters and the themes r exactly how I think about them it’s incredible. Tysm for ur comments they r everything to me. I thought that u may enjoy (if u haven’t seen it already!) this post I made speaking a bit about my own thoughts on the subject: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/735003495452852224/just-want-to-say-i-enjoyed-millenia-gate?source=share

[hdsouta]

↺ ... INTRODUCING : TRAINEE 093 ; ITO SOUTA .

𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐄 ▸ BORN ON MAY 11, 2003 IN NAGASAKI, JAPAN. SIGNED EXTENDED TRAINEE CONTRACT UNDER 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂 ON AUGUST 2020. NOTABLE SKILLSET(S) INCLUDE DANCE / VISUAL.

penned by bon for hydra labels.

CHECK OUT HIS STATS, PLAYLIST, AND PINTEREST.

hi everyone! i go by bon! i'm 25, in the est, he/she/they, and a full time student with a full time job. still, i'm sure i can be around a lot if not enough ok... also feel free to follow me on pinterest and i will follow back haha also ignore how ugly and messy my whole account is because i have too many FUUUUcking muses. thanks! i will also eventually have a playlist on spotify so tune in for that ok.

anywho, i'm here to introduce my new bean, ito souta, who i made specifically for this rp on a whim because i really wanted to join it... i've been eyeing it for a few days, so i'm so glad i got in today! well, i'll go ahead and write some stuff about him below:

basic stats.

full name: ito souta.

nicknames: soda.

age: nineteen.

birthday: may 11th, 2000.

gender: male, he/him.

quick personality tl;dr. (very original, i know.)

positive traits: supportive, cheesy, loyal.

negative traits: ruthless, vulgar, pressuring.

likes: dancing, music in general (specifically pop punk and hip hop stuff), sports (specifically basketball), pvp video games, uhm idk yall this is hard CRIES

in general, i like to think that souta is very egotistical yet somehow also very charismatic and outgoing. he probably gets annoying when he gets too far up his own ass, but it's how he deals with the hard work he puts in to be an idol without results (or so he thinks). he finds himself losing a bit of hope every new day because he's been doing this shit for so long... and with an injury he got when he had just started training, which almost impacted his future career.

in some of his very first few weeks of being accepted into the company, he fell on his shoulder doing rec activities during some down time (or however it works lmao), which gave him an injury he had to basically force himself to work through. due to this, it's definitely not healed right, but it's good enough in order to keep him thriving in the company and working towards his debut. still, it hurts on and off, and he tries his own physical therapy for it, but you know, it be hard sometimes ya feel.

uhmmm... i think otherwise he's a hotshot. i like to think he's the one that's always searched up on pinterest or when people scroll the profiles of groups, they always stop to double take him. that's part of his ego ish, because he knows he's hot shit and people turn heads at his appearance. it sometimes gets in the way of his logical thinking, but you know, he's a kid... so what do you expect?

on another note that i wanted to mention... he used to want to be a basketball player, and if he didn't go into the idol industry, he would have 100%

i'm kind of just spewing stuff and i think i will either edit this or make a new like info post whenever i get some real solid shit for him!!!

otherwise, i will say a little bit about me. i am 25, in the est tmz, prefer he or they pronouns, and you can call me bon or bonbon. the loml is ateez, and i would d*e for them in a heartbeat. i also love block b, omega x, and a few other groups. i'm always open to talking about things even if they aren't rp related! if you'd like to add me on discord, just lmk <3 i can give you my tag!

i'm going to get some FOOD now because i'm hungry and then i will reply to people as well as fish around a bit more. i can't wait to write with everyone and please excuse me if i seem a little off or don't understand jlskdf it's been a hot minute since i've been on tumblr to rp as well as been in an idol group (it's been YEARS since this one).

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Hi! I hope it is not too weird to ask, but I am really trying to understand - I totally get that it is not ok to post something private about Pedro himself and treat disrespectfully him and his private life, call him daddy and seek for his reaction to it.

Although, I've seen people here that say the same but also post fanfiction/gif posts where Pedro characters can be called daddy and/or lot of thirsting takes place. You write fics yourself. I mean, is it different because Pedro boys are fictional characters and the whole point of fic is to be fictional story we'd like to imagine? It's still Pedro impersonating them and people thirst over Pedro's appearance and etc, not somebody else's, while reading those. It's unavoidable to imagine him there, playing the character.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you, in fact I actually love your writing) it's more like I question my morals, as I love Pedro for being sunshine and pretty man who brings joy, but I do love smutty fics with Pedro boys. Many people do, as I see. So I started to think about morality in this. I don't like to read fics about Pedro being a real person, it feels intrusive/disrespectful/inappropriate, as if trying to guess what's he like in bed. Just no.

Sorry for long read, but I am really curious what do you think. Have a nice day✨

Hi!

I will try to answer this the best I can. I have a weird english day today (this morning i thanked someone for his injury instead of his inquiry in a work email and I've been trying not to carve my own eyes out ever since)

I have thought a lot about morals in the last years, it's a big factor of why i stopped writing RPF (let me tell you, meeting the actual person you wrote smut about is the weirdest fucking thing ever).

I feel like in the last years the line between what is normal (boundaries!) and what is not got very blurred? It seems to me that people have no filter, get very invasive and just shout out everything into the void that has become the internet. (and media is not helping with that either)

Like I wrote in the tags earlier today the thing some years back with people finding it totally normal to share the private address of Keanu Reeves to a point that people just showed up at his house (seriously, what is wrong with people?)

There seems to be no boundaries anymore and I hope it never gets to that point with Pedro. Part of me is relieved he has no twitter anymore cause holy crap the things that must be happening over there...

I only see what happens in reblogs. I'm not on tiktok. I only follow like 60 people on here. My instagram is even more dead. And I am glad about it lol

The only place where I really "thirst" is on discord and that's more or less private. To me it's a difference if I say things in private or post them online for everyone (and the media) to see.

And with fanfiction...

Yes you could argue that writing smut about an actor's character is sexualizing the person itself too. But personally I don't think of Pedro as a person at all when I write or read about his characters. I think about what he brought to the character. Yes, they might share his face, but everything else is fiction. Does that make sense? In my head it does.

The last thing I would want from Pedro is to do anything I wrote with his characters about. I would take him out to eat a cupcake and then gift him a spa day so that he can get a massage for his back and after that a good night of sleep. It's really werid if you think about it. His characters could probably have me on my knees with a snap of their finger but Pedro would not get more than a hug lol

Pedro is just the newest person to be hyped on the internet (and with that always comes an influx of people) and after S3 of the Mandalorian things will die down again (mark my words) but i am genuienly concerned for where this will be going in the meantime

[bruisedknuckledbuckshot]

Rules

Lets get down to the Basics:

I love shitpostings but it also extends out to muse drama, violence and gore.

If you are not sure about something just ask me, I hardly bite.

AUs are more than welcome but it kind of depends on if Angel will fit into something like per say ‘Coffee shop AU’ or ‘Collage AU’.

I am a ‘single’ ship blog. So when I say Angel is taken, he’s taken. I am not into multishipping unless poly. Nor will i engage with someone that multiships one muse for romance.

Please note that chemistry for either family, lovers or friends is a must.

When it comes to shipping I will not judge on what and who you ship with. To each, their own just do not expect me to ship something you do and vice Versa. I have my own “questionable” ships but last time I checked I know reality from fiction

I should probably add that in the case of shipping I do not care if YOU multi ship. I am just not too into it (unless a trio) considering I really do not want Angel or any other OC of mine to be another line up of “conquests”. Friendships and crushes are more than okay. But otherwise it makes the bond feel a little artificial to me if that makes sense. And after a few private dramas and my own messy feelings I am not freely into it much anymore. If there is a relationship that does not work out that’s great too. I am mostly here for character development and growth

I don’t always follow back everyone, so please take no offense I appreciate follows it just things clog my dash or your muse just might not be the type my muses would interact with but don’t feel too say to hit me up even if we are not mutuals. Interactions through asks are fine.

As I have said I RP with just about anyone, these are multiverse muses, OCs are welcome obviously. Just please have a bit of a background history so I can understand what kind of characters they are. Please have some rules so i know boundaries.

I would be happy to interact with more than one version of Canon characters, Au or not and such.

I AM open to constructive criticism about my OC.

Definite Noes:

Please do not just abruptly kill my muse out of nowhere. Its rude. At least ask.

Having scuffles and fights can be spontaneous. If my character pisses yours off feel free to take a shot at him. Expect him to react the same way vice versa without hesitation.

Angel IS a trained mercenary, and has a habit of getting only more enraged the more injuries he sustains. Don’t expect him to go down after one hit unless critical injury.

No Godmodding or try to OP my muses right off the bat. Unless it is a thing your muse can do as a power just give a head’s up.

Do not force my muses into a relationship unless both parties agree and there is chemistry. That means just because one ships it the other mun might not. Crushes and unrequited love are just as great.

I won’t RP mature situations with minor RPers and muses below the age of at least 18 so don’t ask. It does not mean i won’t RP with you otherwise.

New rule added that if we do not interact, IC or OOC at any point in time  from a full month or three I will unfollow, simple as that. Unless said person disappears I’ll give it a while first before it seems they are not coming back then proceeded to do so.

I wont RP smutty or suggestive things with minors- Or smut with just anyone- So please don’t lie about your age.

New Note that I am uncomfortable with RPing with people younger than 18-20 as I feel like a total creep otherwise.

About Mun: 

Mun is a 25+ year old female. As far as I have been RPing at least 10 years by now My writing can still get crappy due to dyslexia that seem to be worse on some days. Please excuse any grammar mistakes as I will try to make sure they are correct. Though as of late my details have been lacking due to health issues and family things, so if I sound off or does not make sense let me know and I will try to clarify.

I also RP on Discord.

I hope I do not appear intimidating as I am actually a nervous cluster of anxiety, so i am more likely to be shyer than you and hope to make friends.

Your length is my length so it can go from short to long and detailed as i can get. But something of substance is great. One liners are mostly for crack RPs.

Mun has NO triggers besides political crap. Here for fun- not IRL drama. Please at least tag those or I will unfollow if spammed.

[bruisingrose]

Guidelines

Down to basics:

First warning- this blog is heavy with hints/undertones of abuse, brainwashing, Stockholm and obsessive behavior. That being said if this unnerves you then please do not follow.

I do RP about anything that could be brought up. From shitposting to full out violence, gore and so on.  

If you are not sure about something just ask me, I hardly bite.

I will tag some things at times while some will be put under a readmore if too graphic.

I love AUs and other things alike though if there are to be crossovers it will depend I am not too picky. Does not mean I don’t want to RP with you otherwise.

I am a ‘single’ ship blog. So when I say muse is taken, they are taken unless broken up or so on.

Chemistry for either family, lovers or friends is a must. Though good luck with my stick in the mud.

When it comes to shipping I will not judge what and who you ship with. To each, their own just do not expect me to ship something you do and vice Versa.

I don’t always follow back everyone, so please take no offense I appreciate follows it just things clog my dash or your muse just might not be the type my muses would interact with but don’t feel too say to hit me up even if we are not mutuals.

As I have said I RP with just about anyone, these are multiverse muses, OCs are welcome obviously. Just please have a bit of a background history so I can understand what kind of characters they are.

I would be happy to interact with more than one version of Canon characters, Au or not and such.

I AM open to constructive criticism about my OC, I am always looking to improve and correct errors.

No nos:

Do not kill my muses without having talked about the situation. [AKA like a surprise headshot, just let me know first] Try to give a fair fight. You can fatally injure obviously.  It would be rather rude to flat out kill my character out of the blue.

Having scuffles and fights can be spontaneous. If my character pisses yours off feel free to take a shot at them. Expect the same reaction vice versa.

Don’t expect them to go down after one hit unless it is a killshot

No Godmodding or try to OP my muses right off the bat. Unless it is a thing your muse can do as a power just give a head’s up in the tags or PM.

Do not force my muses into a relationship unless both parties agree and there is chemistry. That means just because one ships it the other mun might not. Crushes and unrequited love are just as great.

I won’t RP mature situations with minor RPers and muses below the age of at least 18 so don’t ask. It does not mean i won’t RP with you otherwise.

New rule added that if we do not interact, IC or OOC anywhere from  a full month-3 months I will unfollow. simple as that. Unless said person disappears I’ll give it a while first before it seems they are not coming back then proceeded to do so.

About Mun:

Mun is a 25+ year old female. So in case of things needing to be “legal” there you go. But I wont RP smutty things with minors. I am uncomfortable with it unless close friends. So please don’t lie about your age.

New Note that I am uncomfortable with RPing with people younger than 18-20 as I feel like a total creep otherwise.

As far as I have been RPing at least 9 years by now but my writing can still get hazy due to dyslexia. so excuse any grammar mistakes as I will try to make sure they are correct. Though as of late my details have been lacking due to health issues so if I sound off or does not make sense let me know and I will try to clarify.

I DO RP in the PM box as well as discord. so if things seem to skip that is why. If you prefer to use one of the alternatives to RP then that is fine.

I hope I do not appear intimidating as I am actually a nervous cluster of anxiety, so i am more likely to be shyer than you and hope to make friends.

Your length is my length so it can go from short to long and detailed as i can get. But something of substance is great. One liners are mostly for crack RPs.

Mun has NO triggers just don't bring up IRL politics.

[velvetyshu]

ouuu yayyy! im excited for your vacation, even though it isn't mine 😭 honestly idk why i was operating under the assumption that everyone was on vacation the same time as me,,,

ok but lucky for you i know little to nothing about roblox so im in no position to judge 😶 also you cosplayed columbina??? that sounds so cool!!!

also if you don't mind me asking, how did both of your veins burst?? 😭 that lowkey sound painful...please make sure to rest adequately!

and yes, i am alright, just a bit busy because christmas is right around the corner! how are you, besides the usual? are you doing anything particularly exciting? i know you said you've been writing,,,and trust me, im very, very excited for the day when you finally post 👀

also!!! i have a discord but i haven't touched that in months 😭 the people on there got a little too creepy so i sort of deleted all my contacts...but i know you said you had it so if you're willing, you can give me your username and i can text you there (or vice versa) if you're willing!

It’s not that special really.. it’s just 2 weeks even though I wish I could’ve gotten more. More importantly I still have to study and take notes during break since our history teacher left it for us. Not what I wanted 😭

Cw needles, blood

Last week on Wednesday I went to a hospital clinic since I was having pain in the lower part of my stomach, so they had to run some tests. One of those tests was about draining my blood to see if everything was okay, but the nurses couldn’t find my veins at all so they tried using the needle twice. Even though they managed to locate one by touching my arm, as soon as they put the needle, It was a very painful experience so I had a bad feeling about it. The next day, both of my arms had veins so visible and purple that it hurt a lot- only then to realize that my veins popped and were internally bleeding inside 💀 still in current recovery but all I can do is apply fucking ointment. Trust me I’m scared because this can affect me but there isn’t much I can do.

Im okay I guess, just going through a lot of things currently. My week’s been packed with assignments and final exams, my mental health on the line, etc. I’m not really excited of Christmas due to bad experiences but hopefully I get to be in my room, and get the rest that I need. And thank you! I hope I don’t disappoint you when I release the final products.

That’s understandable! You don’t have to friend me if you don’t want to, since I know there are a lot of people who can either be fake or a total pain in the ass. Like being weird- I mean. But if you’re completely fine with it, my username is Shu.#2413! Don’t forget to add the period after shu. I’ll be sure to accept your request when you are done. That way we can talk more whenever you please!

[arckyy]

Day 35

You said you texted me on discord but i never received it. It didnt appear for you either. I was waiting to hear from you for a long time. It's only 5 days but it felt like eternity for me. I said this "And the more i think about it, The more i questions myself why. Why would u reject something healthy just to start something new with someone who is toxic? Ur used to toxicity. You and my sister are the same. Her husband beats her up, She's not happy with it but she still stayed because she loves him but she lives to question herself every single day. Sooner or later, She'll fall into depression. Nothing i can do about that too. I gave you everything. Everything was handed to you. Everything i told you wasnt a lie. But you chose to not believe me. You chose to overthink. Those times that i was overthinking, I didnt say anything. Worried you might leave me the moment i open up my mouth. Im a straight forward person. But im becareful with what i say because i know ur fragile. I am even more fragile than you are. You made mistakes, I blame it on myself. You overthink, I made it my problems and still blame it on me. I loved you more than anything else in my life. Now im suffering. Havent paid my r1 installment also. I didnt tell you i needed money because you had alot on your plate. I cared for you. I defended your name when everyone else wanted you out of my life. I couldnt live without you and i told atiq something which made him super upset. I told him im sorry but months or years down the road if she wants me back, Im gonna accept her no matter what. That's the love i have for you. Because this is really my last. Im not moving on. I gave you my all but you break me in two. You chose to believe things that isnt true. Whatever you said, I read it through properly and know that ur overthinking but again, I put the blame on me. No matter what you did, I let it slip and loved you again and again. But you dont believe anything i say because ur overthinking. I didnt do anything to put us at risk. I did everything to make everything right including throwing people away. Now im stuck here forever.."

"Communication is key but only when you understand it". I understood it. I just couldn't be away from you for too long. I just wanted to talk to you. Know how you're feeling. Even though you wanted to be away from me for a little while. I mean no harm..

I didnt mean it in a bad way again. The reasons why i blamed it on myself, is because i hurt you in the first place. I told you before that whatever pain you're feeling, I was gonna put myself in that too. But i guess you misunderstood me. I didn't mean that I'm blaming you for becoming like this. I was just trying to understand why you did what you did and at the same time telling you to know what i've done too. Scared you're overthinking thinking that there is someone else again. I told you what i did because basically it's just me telling you indirectly that there is no one else but you. That i mean when i say i'll break when you're gone. I understand what you're going through. I understand that you want to be alone. But i just can't let you be. I've grown so attached to you. I'm obsessed with you..

You've deleted discord or i think you did. You unfollowed me on twitter. You unfollowed me on instagram. You blocked me on facebook. Normal call and text messages are blocked. You've blocked me on telegram too. There is no way i can find out how you're doing now.. It kills me..

I dont know if you're reading this. If i stopped writing, It means that i'm gone. It's not because of you. It's because of me. No one will ever replace you, D. I love you till the end of my days and when there is no hope left for me, I'm sorry sayang. I will wait for you as long as im still here. Before i bury myself 6ft deep and 2ft wide, I hope they keep my hands to my heart. Imagining you and azka are in my hands. I'll watch both of you from above. Keeping you both safe at all times. If i get to heaven first before you, I'm saving you and azka a seat. Till then my baby, Take care <3

Take your time little one. Im still here. It will be okay

[tackytigerfic]

tacky i think you're an absolute treasure in the community. i obviously don't know you personally but i absolutely adore the gem of a human being you are and i hope you always always get the best of what life has to offer. you're so sweet and understanding, and despite not being in the right headspace at times, you're still always willing to help out in any way you can and i think the world of you. and i completely agree with @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm in the way that i believe you deserve great things. i'm scared to approach you directly because i think i might underwhelm or bore you but i just couldn't keep in how much your kindness and wonderfulness have overwhelmed me. every interaction i've had with you (as small as it was) made my day and i want to thank you so much for being so lovely. your writing is fantastic and i don't have enough praises to sing for Modern Love but right now i believe i should direct my admiration to you and only you. i hope reading this made your day a little better, and i think it's high time we return the favour you do us by simply existing and making our lives better. if the world was an oyster, you would definitely be a pearl- no question about that. i know i am teetering on the precipice of sounding very creepy but i love you as a human bean (i swear i'm not a creep) and i hope everyone acknowledges what a beautiful person we all have amidst us in this fandom. i'm pretty sure you're the kind of person, when you walk into a room, you light it up.

i just wanted to say, you're super talented and your new story is coming along amazingly, so just trust the process and i know it's going to be nothing short of a masterpiece (just like all your other works)!

hope you have the best day, week, month, year and life ever! <3

Debated replying to this as it's actually so lovely that i wanted to keep it cradled to my heart forever and just reread it whenever i needed a cheer-up, but as it's anon i would never be able to say thank you properly if i didn't post. Also I just wanted to say, i love to chat to people and would always welcome you dropping in to say hello! Though in fact I am myself extremely dull - i do very little other than moan about how tired i am and talk about my dog (she is the Best Dog though, to be fair). I am absolutely rubbish at replying to messages though (partly because my discord is playing up constantly) but am genuinely grateful for every positive interaction i have on here, and very joyful at all the brilliant friends i've made, either via DMs or in discord servers or just on here in tags and reblogs.

And finally Anon, you say all these nice things about me (which i will treasure) but you yourself are obviously a very generous person and i'm sure a treasured friend to those you love. thank you for your kindness today, you have given me a real boost and i appreciate it so much.

[radfemwritersgroup]

Hi, i’m @bbqwoman. I’m someone who is very involved in the tumblr radical feminist community. But I’m also a writer, specifically a playwright although I do jump about with format from time to time. In fact it was my experience in the uk poetry scene that made me become a radical feminist - but more on that another time.

I’ve been wanting to create a writers group on Radblr for a while now. And it sounds like a lot of women are also really keen on this being created so here goes. I think womens writings are so essential to understanding our place in the world, and so so key to imagining a world separated from male domination.

I used to write a lot of solarpunk narratives (narratives that imagine a hopeful future where we have solved / are solving climate change). These narratives have done so much already for encouraging green ideation! We can do this for womens lib!

But we don’t have to positive either. We can be angry, we can scream, we can shout, we can tell the truth, we can lie, we can resurrect our maternal ancestors and tell their stories :)

What is important to note:

1. You do not have to be a ‘good’ writer to get involved. Art is for everyone.

2. If you have any ideas for workshops or exercises, or how you want this to work, tell me! I am one woman with severe adhd - I will always welcome help!

3. Let’s see where this goes, okay?

Task for you:

Comment below telling me:

- Your name (if you like, I’m still trying to decide if I want my name out here, or just ur username :)

- what kind of writing do you do? What kind of writing would you like to do?

- what kind of format would you like this to take? Zoom workshops? Posts & responses? Discord server?

- any rules that you would like to put in place before we start?