#( smelly nohrians )

[nobilismare]

@tomestobetold​ ; continued here

These Hoshidan hot springs were quite delightful. It was a practice that Nohr really should have taken to years ago, given how frigid it was in the winters. Yet somehow, this was Nyx's first time dipping into the steaming waters.

She let out a sigh before looking to Orochi, who was grinning, proud of herself.

"Alright," she admitted. "You're right. This is marvelous. Though I still don't know how I feel about the public nudity. However, I will concede that the bathhouse is very relaxing."

There was nothing better than relaxing one’s muscles - and mind - in the warmth of these springs. All of her problems washed away and she could focus on taking care of herself after a day of hard work. And what better way to spend that time than to drag an unknowing, innocent Nohrian with her?

“Aw, is Nyxie-poo feeling a little shy?” Orochi felt confident in her body, always had been. She took good care of herself and her genes were on her side. Age was another story but that didn’t matter right now! 

“ You have nothing I haven’t seen before so there is no need to be embarrassed about your body. We were all born naked after all!“

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I wish FE Fates had used the classic manakete as the Nohrian beast unit instead of wolfskins, both Keaton and Velouria are everyday ordinary average smelly mangy trash furballs and fucking suck and probably smell like wet dog and week old shit.

The kitsune, on the other hand, was a nice addition as a Hoshidan beast unit (which are totally awesome elegant cute badass furballs and probably smell like flowers and linen).

you're just jealous velouria stole your girlfriend.

[silvershadow1711]

We Both Start Over (Gunther/Nerr drabbles)

“Ninja Turtles”

–

Normally Nerr was very active in camp, going around and taking inventory, listening to grievances, or else, just offering a friendly hello to the soldiers under her command, but today, she had been acting rather... furtive. Gunther had noticed her eyes scanning the immediate area more often than usual. When he brought it up, she simply replied, “Assassins”. It was a reason that needed no further explanation, he knew, but nonetheless, it did not strike him as the whole truth. After all, if she were so concerned about Hoshidans getting the slip on her, why would she keep sneaking away and heading to dark, desolate corners of camp all by her lonesome? Gunther knew something was afoot, but he also knew his young wife would never tell him what it was. Since he returned from the hellish purgatory that had been his prison for three long months, he'd found his once transparent liege had become closed off and secretive. She wore layers upon layers of masks, to the point he where couldn't even be sure if she was being herself around him, of if it was simply another “act”, as she called it. Regardless of her true feelings, however, his love remained strong as ever, and with it, his concern for his mistress grew.

Whatever she was hellbent on keeping secret could be nothing good. So, as the Nohrian princess slipped away from the crowd of soldiers she had been conversing with for the fifth time, Gunther decided to follow her. He stayed just close enough to keep her in his line of sight, edging along the tents and supplies that littered the camp so that if she turned around and spotted him, it would appear that he was simply straightening the weapons that lay in disarray (which he did anyway, because the sight of askew lances made his skin crawl). As Nerr disappeared behind one of the storage tents, he frowned, carving the lines near his mouth deeper. What was that girl up to? As quietly as he could manage (no easy feat in a suit of armor), he crept up to where she had vanished. There in the shadows, the younger girl stooped over something, so engrossed with whatever she was doing that she didn't notice she was no longer alone until Gunther cleared his throat. At once, she turned, and he found the gilded point of her Yato leveled with his throat. Crimson eyes, wide with fear, slowly returned to their normal size, and Nerr let out a deep sigh, dropping her blade.

“Gods, Gunther- I nearly slit your throat! You know better than to sneak up on me!”

“Perhaps I would not have to sneak up on you if you didn't skulk around in dark corners, my lady.” He said, sounding far calmer than he felt. Her full lips pursed in annoyance, and she sheathed her sword with an irriatated sniff.

“I'm not 'skulking'. Perhaps I simply wanted a moment of privacy?”

“You could get privacy in our tent. Loitering in the shadows hardly inspires confidence.” The knight frowned slightly as he noticed something covered in a blanket behind her. “What have you got there, Nerr?”

“Nothing.” She said quickly. Far too quickly. Gently pushing her to one side and ignoring her protests, Gunther bent over and pulled the blanket away, revealing a basket. His stomach chruned slightly. Oh gods, what was this? Dozens of scenarios ran through his mind, starting with raw entrails and growing more macabre from there.

“Don't open that!” She cried out, but as was human nature, her warning only made him curiouser yet. Flipping over the the lid, his expression fell. Straightening, Gunther turned once more to face his wife, who was looking at her feet. He leveled her with a hard stare.

“...No. No. More. Pets.” At once, she raised her gaze to meet his, her face incredulous.

“I'm not an idiot, Gunther! I'm not going to keep turtles as pets in the midst of a war!”

“Then why do you have them?” Of all the things to discover... he was beginning to wish there had been body parts in the basket after all. At least that he could understand. Pouting, Nerr bent and retrieved her basket, her expression softening into a smile as she looked in at it's contents.

“They were in the middle of the trail when we were marching last night. I didn't want anyone's horse to trample the poor things, so I grabbed them. As soon as we come across a river or pond, I'm going to let them go.” Gunther felt his heart melt slightly. Of course she would make a conscious effort to save turtles. But...

“Then why keep this a secret? I thought you were slowly disposing of a body.”

Crimson eyes locked on his, hard and cold.

“If I were disposing of a body, I'd be done before you noticed anything was amiss.” Glancing back at the turtles, she smiled, every trace of a killer gone at once. “We're running low on rations. If anyone found out I had fresh meat, they'd insist we kill them for food. And while I can't very well begrudge my soldiers being hungry, I couldn't bear the thought of killing something so cute. Look at him!” She reached into the basket and pulled one of the reptiles out. It was about the size of an open hand, dark green and wrinkled. Gunther recoiled as he looked into it's beady eyes, his lip twisting. “Cute” was not the word he would use to describe such a thing, but Nerr's aesthetic sense was... skewed... to say the least (after all, she called him “adorable” on many occasions).

“Yes, that's very... yes.” The princess pulled the reptile back, cooing over it.

“He's almost the same shade of green as Kaze's hair. And look at this one!” She replaced one turtle and pulled out the other one. This one looked even uglier, with dark red streaks running along it's leathery hide, and a milky white eye. “This one has one eye, like Kaze's brother. They're turtle brothers- ninja brothers! They're turtle ninjas!” Gunther sighed quietly. It had already begun. Anytime Nerr found an animal, she gave it a name and then refused to part with it. It was an undue hassle, but that soft heart of hers was part of why he loved her so. He rested his hand atop her head.

“I want them gone tomorrow, Nerr. Or you're going to be having ninja turtle soup.”

“Turtle ninjas!”

000000000000

A/N- I imagine that between the death, and hunger, and fear and jomesickness and constant sense of soul-crushing misery that follows Nerr's battalion through Hoshido during the war, there are moments like this sprinkled around, like idividually wrapped cookies buried in the overflowing dirty litterbox of life. She really loves animals, to the point that even though she doesn't like bugs, she can't stand to let anyone kill them.

Also, I had a pet turtle growing up. They are horrifying, smelly monsters, but they're so cute when they're little!

[gallant-gained]

Headcanon: Flowing Locks

As an adaptation to the cold, Nohrians are prone to growing a lot of body hair. A LOT. To the point where there are publications telling you how to spot the difference between a yeti and just a man that lives in the mountains and doesn't care about shaving.

For those that don't like the hair, grooming is a frequent and meticulous ritual, and quality shaving supplies are a huge business in Nohr.

Siegbert shaves because his activity level means lots of sweat, and sweat plus hair equals a very smelly prince. He retains body hair under his arms and on his pubic region and trims it when he needs to.

He has been considering growing a beard, but so far hasn't gotten any support on this.