#( on one hand i know i get better because i cringe at my past blogs )

[gloireceleste]

did i forget michael literally went baby shopping? i knew he was trying to find one to raise with jack, but i almost forgot HOW he was trying to find one. i'm dying. goodbye. this archangel needs an adult. he's so dumb.

[duffslut]

Don't cry

Axl Rose x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 580

Warnings: Angst!

Taglist: @guns-n-roses-gal @a4tumnvenice @used-to-love-her-06 @changbinsdummythiccahrms @guitarsfan @em-21 @their80smichelle @svrgs-blog @rocketttqueennn @wiifitboard @unknownperson246 @fxcethestrange @lovergirl4slash @rottoneggs01 @metallical0ver @brunette-barbie4562 @appetiteforattitude @prettypersuasion @gyaas @nenynra @brezeblog @damianodavds @ch3rry-earrings @1-800-meth-blog @hauntedrosie @inkieink @rocketqueen1989x @rafesgirl7 @thatsoversace @maverickman5k @metallicaloverrr @xoxytoxinx @queenoftheundergroundscene @beebemarie @yourowngirlie @impuls1ve

- Hey... - You heard Axl's voice approaching you.

It was late at night, past midnight, you had left your boyfriend's house and simply couldn't go back home, you didn't want to have to face your parents in the situation you were in, so you went to the beach and just sat on the sand, watching the sea and letting the tears run down your face. It was cold and windy, but nothing could be worse than the throbbing pain you were feeling in your chest, the anxiety almost stopping you from breathing.

You greeted him Axl with a sad smile, cringing even more as he sat down next to you in the sand.

- How are you doing dear? - He asked in his deep, concerned voice, taking off his jacket and placing it over you, caressing your back with his hand.

- I... - You tried to speak but the tears came even stronger and you turned your face away. - It's all over.

Saying those words made your mind go back to a few hours ago, when you finally got the courage to break up with your boyfriend, and the scene repeated itself in your head, it was the best thing to do, but you didn't know it would hurt so much.

- Don't cry Y/n. - Axl said, touching your chin turning your face carefully towards him, drying your tears with his fingers. - Please, I hate seeing you like this..

You had called Axl because he was your best friend and the only person who could help you at that moment, he always knew the right thing to say, just having his presence calmed you down, he had that power, it was one of his many qualities.

- I'm sorry about this, Axl... - You said sniffling, looking at the redhead next to you. - I shouldn't have bothered you...

You let out a deep breath, Axl took your hand and held it lightly, warming your cold skin.

- I would come to you any time Y/n. - He said. - You know that, right? Things will get better.

You tried to believe him, but none of his words seemed real since you no longer had your boyfriend with you, who had promised the same things, but still had broke your heart.

- I don't know... I feel alone, lost. - You said, and noticed Axl's eyes sadden.

- You're not alone sweet girl, I wish I could make you believe... - He looked away. - I know exactly how you are feeling inside.

You couldn't decipher his gaze as he stared out to sea, you didn't say anything, you snuggled into him in a hug and closed your eyes for a few minutes, absorbing his scent mixed with the scent of the sea.

- Can I sleep at your place tonight? - You asked, opening your eyes and accidentally looking at him - I can't go home.

Axl nodded in response and you both got up and walked to his car.

You had already slept at his house several times, but it was the first time you actually lay down in his bed, your eyes red from crying began to close automatically, letting sleep take over your body, Axl watched you standing next to the bed, stroking your hair and saying things that sleep didn't allow you to understand perfectly, but something inside you felt that he was being the most sincere he had ever been.

- You're the most special girl in the world...

I will never leave your side...

I hate to see you cry...

I love you...

[amberjazmyn]

dr spencer reid one shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - prehaps one day

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - literally none, it's fluff, it's cheese, it's cute and it's love

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - five times the bau think spencer has proposed to reader + the one time he actually has

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - the title is horrendous but if anyone has any better name, please tell me cause this name gives me all the cringe. also, i've seen so many of these but my favourite one is from the blog fromeden and you should def check it out!

masterlist

---

one

penelope was certain, absolutely sure, completely convinced that spencer, your boyfriend, popped the question. she was like, ten million percent sure. although she wasn't a profiler but the techncial analyst, she started to pick up what she thought were tell-tale signs that gave her the impression that spencer had put a ring on it.

the technical analyst was so sure of herself that, she told derek and david. telling them both that the proposal must have happened over the public holiday. the public holiday that, obviously, everyone but the bau and rest of the fbi had off.

"...just look at them, derek! i swear to god, 187 has proposed," penelope squeals, watching the way you two were all over each other

"come on now, penelope. you could be overreacting--"

"--in fairness, look at her left hand, she's clearly covering it. it has to be a ring," david inserts, causing a slight scare for derek and penelope, worrying that you and spencer could have overheard

"and how would you know, mr three wives?" derek sassed, penelope's eyes widening as david chuckled

"isn't it obvious, derek? her left hand is hidden because she wants to tell us rather than us finding it out beforehand," david touches his nose which makes derek and penelope giggle

however, it wasn't until jj walked past that shut down the rumours of a potential bau wedding on its way.

"you guys are crazy. the reason why she's hiding her left hand is because, if you guys were good at profiling each other, you would know she has always rested her right hand over her left one. she isn't engaged and spence hasn't proposed to her. y'all are crazy sometimes i swear," jj chuckled, shaking her head which made penelope and derek down in the dumps whereas david just chuckled

it wasn't until after you and spencer finished the paperwork that you realised that the entire time, derek, penelope, david and jj had all been bickering. bickering about what they thought was your proposal that they had completely missed because it was done in secret.

in which, to clarify, did not happen. jj was right, the "tell" of you being engaged because you were hiding your left hand was false. you have always hidden your left hand by covering it with your right hand if you leave it resting on a table.

two

it was a wednesday, middle of the week and the team were all getting ready to finish up their work day. pleading for at least a full three-day weekend of rest. although spencer was normally always flustered, this wednesday, he looked even more flustered then usual. it felt like he was running around like a headless chicken looking for something.

"you good, reid? whatchu looking for?" derek questioned, his head poking out from a wall as he was leaving the office

"uh, yeah, i...um...i'm taking y.n for a weekend trip and i printed off our booking for it but, i can't seem to find it," he mutters as he continues to look for it

"ooh, that's exciting. where to, any particular reason why?" derek teases as he moves to lean against the wall

stopping his search for a second, spencer sighed in agitation, "down by the mountains cause i know she's always wanted to go there for ages. i booked a loft, i printed the booking info like moments ago and now i can't find it!" he was getting angrier and for once, derek didn't want to instigate him

derek smiles, noticing it was at a completely different printer, "this booking info?" he says as he picks it up and hands it to the younger agent who breathes a sigh of reliefe

"thank you so much, morgan! i l...you are my favourite person in the world right now other than y.n!" spencer feels himself calm down which is when, of course, derek instigates him with hints of a marriage proposal

"sooo, with the holiday getaway this weekend, what's it for...you know, anything special other than just because y.n's never been before?" derek teased as spencer turned back around and gave derek what would be classified as a "stank face"

"umm, no...no...we're going because y.n's genuinely never gone to the mountains and i thought, we have the time and the money so, we're going for the weekend...why are you asking?" spencer gave a look of confusion as derek just nodded his head embarrassment

derek started backing away when spencer ran after him, the booking for the holiday in his hands, "why are you asking, morgan? stop running away!" thankfully, derek hadn't run too far as he laughed slightly

"umm, i just thought you guys were gonna come back with a special announcement but, don't worry, it's clearly not that and i apologise for jumping to a conclusion that is obviously not happening. have a great vacation you two. make sure you send us some photos after knowing that you won't be texting or calling us at all," derek chuckled as that seemed to satisfy spencer and he smiled back, nodding

"will do, derek. the photos will be sent from y.n's phone not mine. have a good weekend yourself, don't do anything i wouldn't do," spencer smiled, his bag across his body as derek smiled back

"i will, thanks. see you monday, hopefully tuesday but, we shouldn't be too sure because, as we know from past situations, criminals and serial killers don't typically like to take vacations!" derek chuckled as spencer nodded his head before leaving whilst derek didn't

and that was because, hidden away behind the wall where derek was leaning against, was penelope and david, all waiting to see if derek got the information about the "proposal".

"and, derek? what did he say? will there be a ring on y.n's finger when they come back?" penelope tried, a look of hope in her eyes as derek just shook his head, david chuckling

"nope, sorry baby girl. just a vacation in the mountains because y.n's never been. and, before you ask, yes, i did subtly ask but, no, there will be no ring on her finger when they get back..." derek trailed off as penelope growled in annoyance as derek and david's eyes grew wide in shock

"...oh come on! i really thought it would be this time!" penelope was truly devastated that her best friend wouldn't be getting proposed to as derek and david, again, giggled

"sorry baby girl but, i think pretty boy's waiting for a specific day if he has even thought about it," derek shrugged as david nodded his head and left, leaving derek and penelope with one last thing

"and if he is, we shouldn't be pushing it or hounding him over it. he'll do it when they are both ready for it!" david says whilst walking out of the office

penelope and derek share looks of, even though they hated it, they couldn't help but agree with david's statement. if it hadn't happened this time and the time before, it's clear that it's not happening just yet. because, one, either spencer and y.n haven't talked about it yet or, they simply aren't ready for it.

three

by the third time that derek, penelope and david thought that spencer proposed, jj, emily and now aaron was even watching, looking for any new tells. new tells that could possibly tell them if spencer had proposed yet or not. and, obviously, because it's the bau, there is at least three different bets going on all at the same time. which makes no sense clearly but, to them it makes sense.

this time it was emily that noticed something that could have been possibly a little off for spencer. he had a little bag on his desk. whilst it wasn't out in plain sight, it wasn't being hidden either. so, emily just decided to go for it and straight up ask him what it was.

"hey, spence, what's in the bag?" emily questioned, a little giddy glint in her eye

spencer smiled, making eye contact with emily, "oh, um *shy chuckle* it's just an anniversary gift..." he trailed off nervously, hoping she wasn't close by

emily felt her shoulders deflate. she knew she should have felt a little sad that it wasn't likely an engagement ring but, she still couldn't believe that it had so quickly got to their anniversary.

"what is it? some jewellery? what number anniversary is now, spence?" emily no longer cared about the bet or the possibility of an engagement and wedding

she just cared that spencer and y.n were still so head over heels in love with each other. even though she knew they'd never fall out of love with one another.

"oh, just a matching necklace and earrings set. we've been dating. for like, four years now. i remember overhearing from someone, it may have been jj or even will that you never gift a partner a ring unless you plan to marry them. so, i decided to get her a matching emerald necklace and earrings because y.n's already got so many rings, not just her own but also ones that my mom has gifted her," spencer smiled shyly as emily's face lit up

"aw, that's so sweet. and happy four years, spence. four years is amazing. you and y.n should be so proud of that. and, good on you for deciding to not get a ring as i know so many people at the four year mark who would have gotten a ring and it turn out that they weren't ready to be married. you're really a smart man, spence. i'm sure y.n'll love the present," emily smiled, ruffling his hair in pride for the young boy genius as spencer chuckled, fixing his hair as emily walked away

curious, of course, derek and penelope, gave her the look. and, emily, with a sense of pride, shook her head no. again, derek and penelope were saddened but, when emily explained, they felt a sense of pride wash over them. the same pride that washed over emily that he knew not to gift y.n a ring if it either wasn't a promise ring, engagement ring or a replacement ring for one that broke.

however, it was at this point, the third time that the team thought that spencer was going to propose that, he actually started planning it. obviously, it doesn't take long before rumours start to travel throughout the office. so, it wasn't long before spencer and even y.n began to hear of the rumours of the two young agents getting engaged. and, that was when the couple started to talk about it. because, like thought of as one of the reasons why it hasn't happened yet, spencer and y.n just hadn't spoken about it. not because they didn't want to marry each other, they just hadn't spoken about it in proper detail. until now when they did start a conversation on it after a day of paperwork in the office on their four-year-anniversary and they were each gifted four gifts each. and now, with the knowledge of his girlfriend's ring-size, he decided to ring up hotch, because, like most people, spencer would not have guessed that hotch was in on all the rumours and the bets so, he asked him for advice.

let's just say that it was a struggle for hotch to keep a straight face when spencer asked him if at some point during a free day of work that he could help him in finding an engagement ring for y.n. yet, hotch managed to keep his cool and, obviously, didn't tell the rest of the team who were in on the rumours and bets about it because, one, he didn't want to break spencer's trust and two, whilst he did participate in team rumours and bets, he would never rat out to the betters if he was on the other side.

four

it's a quiet and slow day when out of nowhere, like, complete nowhere. everyone, except for spencer and y.n, rush into penelope's bat cave. worrying that something bad had happened like someone had been killed or arrested, it was confusing when they just all saw penelope basically hyperventilating.

"...are you alright penelope?" jj questions with worry, wondering why penelope was literally hyperventilating if no one had died or been arrested

"i...i think it's the day!" she struggles to say as the team all look at each other in confusion

"what? you think it's the day? what day? it's a monday, penelope, what could be so exciting about a monday?" emily then questioned as penelope bursted with another round of excitement which scared everyone

"but that's just it! i think it's happened! i really think pretty boy and pretty girl are engaged!" penelope screeches with excitement as emily shakes her head, derek, jj, david and aaron smile

"and why do you think that, baby girl?" derek speaks up as penelope squeals yet again

but, she doesn't say anything and aaron's eyes widened, "what did you do, penelope? what did you hack into?" he was worried that she had somehow found out about the conversation he had with spencer about him helping spencer out with finding an engagement ring

"the hotel that they will be staying in for their belated three-year-anniversary..." penelope backs up, trailing off of her sentence as no one notices the breath of relief that aaron breathes out

"...wait, so you think he's gonna propose to her at a hotel, baby girl?" derek questions in confusion

however, that was when you walked in and let's just say you were beyond confused.

"umm, who is going to propose to me where?" you blurted out as everyone's eyes widened

and no one spoke up. that was, until david did and let's just say, he truly saved the day here, "oh, no one darling. we're just talking about the time i proposed to my second wife in a hotel however many years ago it was..." he trailed off and everyone just hoped you believed it

and...you did. you didn't even question it and you should have cause you're a profiler but an amazing one at that. so, it confused the rest of the team when you didn't question it.

"...oh, okay, cool, sorry, my bad. well, umm, if anyone's interested, spence has bought all of us some coffee so, we'll be waiting for you guys in the conference room with it when y'all are ready!" you smiled as you left penelope's bat cave to spencer who waited in the conference room

as soon as everyone knew you were out of sight and out of hearing range, they all let out the heavy breaths that they had no idea they were holding on to.

"holy...lord jesus christ, how on earth did she believe that lie, rossi?!" penelope bursted out as giggles followed as did head shakes of shock and wide eyes

"i truly have no idea but, well done me i guess!" david chuckled as everyone shortly followed after him as he left for his morning coffee that was waiting for him in the conference room that for once, he didn't pay for

"yeah, well done you, david! i seriously thought she wouldn't believe it but it shocked me more that she didn't question you," aaron chuckled in bewilderment as david patted his unit chief's shoulder

afterwards, the team realise that, whilst penelope did "hack" into the hotel that you and spencer were booked into for that night and the following weekend, that it wasn't because he was proposing to you. it was genuinely because you guys didn't get to celebrate your four-year-anniversary that was the third time that they thought a proposal was happening. so, instead, you guys were going to celebrate it on that friday and saturday instead.

five

it's this day, the fifth time that the team thinks a proposal is gonna happen that it's hotch that teases the group. sending the team back at quantico his location that he was in with spencer.

"you guys will never guess where i am!" hotch sniggers cheekily which earns some confusion from the team who were basically bored out of the minds

with so much paperwork to fill out, derek almost groaned at his unit chief, "oh, i don't know, hotch, are you by any chance, bullying a spoilt child?" he replies which earns a laugh from aaron but also from the rest of the team, including y.n, although it's obvious she wasn't paying attention

only laughing because everyone else was, hotch knew it was the perfect time to tell the rest of the team, "i'm at the jeweller with spencer, and it's a fancy one," he smiles over the phone

"gold thanks, hotch, silver makes me look discoloured," emily jokes, shockingly not realising the situation after she started to pull away from the bets of wanting spencer and y.n to get engaged

"good to know prentiss but, i'm here with spencer because ages ago, when you guys thought for a third time that he was proposing to y.n for help in my opinion on a certain piece he was looking to buy,"

that was when it clicks in emily's but in everyone else's heads, penelope slipping out of the chair, "wait, is this finally the day that it happens?" she just about whispers with her eyes wide and her hands already starting to perisperate

"i seriously think so guys. well, reid's walking back over and i can tell that y.n's attention is turning back to you guys so, i'll talk to you all later," aaron hangs up and focuses back on spencer

seeing that aaron was about to uncharacteristcally freak out, spencer spoke up, "and, yes, it's the time to do it hotch. it's why i asked you back those few weeks ago when everyone thought i was gonna do it for the third time i think *chuckles*..." spencer trails off as aaron's eyes nearly fall out of his socket

he nearly chokes on his own saliva, "wait, you weren't joking when you were asking me for advice on an engagement ring?" hotch whispers, realising just how honoured he suddenly felt to be given this opportunity

"yes...i want you to help me and give me advice on an engagement ring for y.n. i was being serious that day when i came to you and asked. i know she loves emeralds because of the emerald necklace and earring set i gave her for our four-year but, i don't know if that's her style in rings too..." spencer trailed off, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and stressed, grateful that he had hotch with him

overcome with emotion and seeing spencer overcome with emotion, hotch had to fight himself to not give the boy genius a huge hug. resisting however, hotch takes in some deep breaths which causes spencer to watch and copy so he could calm himself down as well.

"well, whilst y.n loves to wear emeralds on necklaces and earrings, do you know if she has any emerald rings? cause that's a start and if she does have emerald rings and wears them quite often, then, yes, that would be the choice of engagement ring you'd buy. but, if she usually wears a different stone more than the emerald then go for that one, alright?" aaron advised as spencer smiled and nodded his head, feeling more confident

as a smile overcomes his face, he pulls out his phone and goes straight to his photo album of you. majority of the photos you are wearing a specific ring with a specific stone and whilst it wasn't an emerald, it was a green sapphire ring that you got given by your mother that you always wore on your ring finger. you would wear it until the day you would then change it for the real life green sapphire engagement ring you'd get when you'd eventually get proposed to.

looking at aaron's pride-filled face of how, just like figuring out an unsub, spencer quickly figured out that the type of engagement ring you wanted. and how it was the exact same as the one you had been wearing ever since your mom had given it to you. except, whilst it would be similiar, it would be different because spencer made sure that whilst the stone was sapphire, he still made sure that there was obvious engagement ring bling on the ring so it was obvious it was an engagement ring. and not just a replacement for the one you already had because, that sapphire ring hadn't broke, it was just being replaced for the real deal.

and, of course, spencer didn't really need aaron's opinion on the actual ring itself, he just needed the help in figuring out what stone and whether it was emerald or sapphire. so, when aaron helped him in figuring it out by asking him if there was a specific stone that you wore more often then the other then, that was the stone of choice.

"hotch...thank you for coming with me and helping me. i'm glad you were able to come with me," spencer thanked his unit chief, pure sincereity seeping from not just his words but his body language

and aaron smiled, "my pleasure spencer and, don't be thanking me, it was an honour to help you find the right one for y.n," aaron replies, not stopping himself from hugging the boy genius this time. making the young agent sincerely chuckle, he welcomed the hug wonderfully

feeling pride and like a father to the young agent, aaron couldn't help the urge of a sudden flood of tears that had started to well up in his eyes as the two agents reached the suv.

the one

"...hey guys, what are you all doing on the 30th of june?" spencer asks, completely out of nowhere since it was another paperwork day

"that's like, nine months away, you really think i plan that far in advance, spence?" jj questions, nevertheless checking her calender at the same time, her concentration from her paperwork fleeting for just a second

"to be fair, i was not expecting for that reaction," you smiled devishly, clearly hiding something, smiling at spencer, "let's go once more and if they don't get this, i think i'm just gonna throw it at them. penelope, emily, jayje, would you like to be apart of my bridesmaids?"

just when you thought you were going to have to throw the ring at them, a delayed and very loud gasp falls through the room as everyone turns to stone. it's penelope that is the first one to regain her composure, "wait, what are you saying?"

with a joking roll of your eyes, you hold up your left hand and wriggle your fingers...oh and the new, upgraded sapphire engagement ring, "aren't you gonna ask where i got the new upgraded sapphire ring?" you pretty much cackle like an evil witch, surprisngly enjoying the reactions

aaron then stands up, since he wasn't in his office and pushed his chair away, "you actually did it?" he's soft in his question to spencer

"i did it," the boy genius nods, his smile wider than ever before

"you've broken the team, spence," emily chuckles, looking all around her to see everyone still frozen in their tracks on their seats

however, not for long as penelope, jj and emily jump out of their seats and rush over to you, "why didn't you tell us the second you asked her, spencer?! of course...of course i'm free that day and even if i'm not i'll make myself be free! and, excuse me, how dare you ask me to be your bridesmaid with the insinuation that i'd say no, I'D LOVE to be your bridesmaid!"

nearly toppling over you, penelope smashes into you for a hug as you couldn't help the laugh that erupts from your throat. after penelope's over the top reaction, the guys, derek, david and aaron stood up out of their seats and also crowded around you and spencer. of course then came all the congratulatory hugs and face squishes and wanting to take a closer look at the upgraded sapphire engagement ring.

and, obviously, the next day and then actually the next couple of weeks, penelope and jj and emily, everyone really, starts to bring in little cakes and muffins and things to keep the celebrations of the new bau engagement up and continuing. because, now that the engagement had happened, that meant it was now time to plan the wedding. but, you and spencer didn't care, you just loved that after waiting for so long, the team that is, they finally got their moment to celebrate their two little bau babies be engaged because not only were you even more in love with your now fiancé but you just felt like you were being attacked with love at every angle and you loved it and you embraced it.

oh, and, remember that bet that was going around? yeah, it was actually hotch that won all of them so, he got all of the money. shockingly, he managed to correctly predict the exact date of the proposal without even being given the date from spencer. because, even though aaron helped spencer in figuring out the ring was a sapphire and not an emerald, that didn't mean he asked nor was given any other information about the day of the proposal. only that the ring was a sapphire so, it was pretty funny and a shock to the system that hotch predicted the exact date without knowing it. and he didn't get the day before or the day after, he got the exact day on the dot. for a while, certain team members were a bit suspicious (derek and penelope) but a couple of days later and they just found it amusing and amazing that hotch was such an amazing predicter and was then asked to predict the day that the bachelorette party was going to be on. but, that was obviously when hotch drew the line and made his team go back to their paperwork. because, crime unfortunately doesn't stop just because two federal agents get engaged.

---

this was so much fun to write and i have always wanted to do one of these but have always been too scared to but i'm glad i finally decided to just do it.

ok bye ily xx

wc; no idea soz

[stxrmylxve]

Hi, I came across your blog while I was checking out fics with the Kazutora tag, and I read a few of your works, and LOVED them! I'm still new to TR, but so far from what I've seen of Kazutora, you really capture him well!

I was wondering if you'd be open to writing something along the lines of Kazutora having a date over for a movie, but he seems like he's trying to keep distance between himself and said date, even to the point that he's left space between them so their legs won't touch. But his date has known him for years, even before he was locked away for 10 years, and really wants tk be close to him, so they scoot closer and lean their head against his shoulder, resting one of their hands on his arm. I'd love to know how you think he would react! I'd be fine with this being either a headcanon or a one-shot, honestly! It's just been on my mind since Tora brainrot settled I'm. 😅 I also wonder how his past self would have reacted, but whether that is written too or not is totally up to you if you do decide to take on this request, since I know he was like...15 during the 2005 timeline.

Regardless of what you decide, I love your work! ❤️

A/N: ahh thank you bb! I’m honored, I don’t get many of these compliments on here and it always brightens my day :) And I don’t mind doing both timelines, enjoy!

Pairing: kazutora x gn!reader

Notes: kinda slight spoilers (of his timeline), tw mentions of panic attack (kazutora), mostly just fluff and comfort

2005-2007 timeline:

“Was juvie harsh?” you ask, the movie almost sounding mute as kazutora looked over at you with wide eyes.

“.. How so?” he counters

“Well, I don’t know. You seem more.. distant.” your eyes wander back to the tv, momentarily taking in the scene before turning back to kazutora to speak once again.

“It’s because I am. Something horrible happened, you can’t just forget things like murder, y/n.” he says a matter of fact, not even sugar coating the unspeakable acts he had committed, regardless of whether he wanted to admit he did or to blame it on someone else again.

A small laugh slipped past your lips as you scooted across the couch and rested your head on his shoulder, taking him by surprise as he peered down at you between his golden locks.

“True, but in some ways, you have become a better man.” you say as your hands rests near his, looking over the many scars scattered along his hands and wrists like ornaments.

“You really think so?” he asks after a while, hesitantly taking your hand into his for the first time in ages.

“Yeah.” you say with a small smile.

2017 (i think) timeline:

The tv’s light flickered in the dark as an awkward kissing scene came on again, making both you y’all cringe and to look other places. Your eyes landed on Kazutora’s slim figure, frowning at the large gap in between you and him.

“How was work?” you ask, trying to pull anything for a small talk as he turned to face you with his golden yet curious eyes.

“Fine, busy.” he replies, his response matching perfectly with the tired eyebags hugging the bottom of his eyes and his slightly slumped-over figure.

Your head tilted sideways slightly as you studied his face. You shruged to yourself before moving over towards him, catching his attention as now he was cornered with you extremely close.

“I don’t have an illness Kazu, loosen up.” you joke, a small laugh escaping your lips as he averted his eyes elsewhere in the room.

“Still hung up on the past, I see.” you sigh as he looks at you again, catching a small dissatisfied glare from you as he too sighed.

“I’m not any different than I was 10 years ago, y/n.” is all he says as he gazes out the window, his eyes not settling on anything in particular just looking away from your eyes that stared him down with that typical mom-look.

“You are. Juvie and everything else aged you well, kazu.” you say hopefully, patting his shoulder as he turned to meet your gaze, small tears forming in his eyes unexpectedly.

“I don’t want to hurt you. Please. Just… move.” he says, almost pleads, as he tries to scoot away himself. Your hands quickly found his as you looked into his eyes with full warmth.

“Hey it’s okay, you’re not hurting me. You didn’t know, remember?” your smile lightened the darkness in him as your gentleness flooded his senses, forcing him to nod as his mind began to slow down again.

Your hand found his and intertwined, a small squeeze coming from your hand to show him that you were actually there for him, a small smile forming on his face. Yeah, you were a keeper.

[voxvaughn]

i can connect anything to my selfships (lyric re-interpretation addition)

ascensionism // rain (LONG analysis under the cut!!!)

CW FOR THE HEAVIER THEMES ASSOCIATED WITH VOXVAUGHN!!! Valentino is mentioned (negatively, he's Vox's abuser), and themes of emotional abuse, internalized biphobia (Vox), feeling neglected, and generally Rough start of relationships due to improper communication between two troubled men is discussed. please proceed with caution and nuance!

i NEVER get to analyze & reinterpret lyrics the way i like to when i listen to music ANYWHERE and then realized i could on my blog where i specifically AM cringe but free. i'd love to do lyric associations with other people's ships sometime, too, if this post is well received :-D! anyways, onto my brainworms.

Ascensionism by Sleep Token is a song i've established to have associated with VoxVaughn before, but it is a Vaughn-centric perspective on the relationship. Vaughn comes from a life of neglect, petty crime and hustling to get by, both in life and before dealing his soul to Vox, so theres an emphasis on the "filthier" aspects of the relationship ("Lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails" & "..rose-gold chains, ripped lace, cut glass / Blood stains on the collar means just don't ask") because that's all he knows as he enters the relationship. Being thrust into a life of disposable money and power that came from being so closely associated with The Vees ("...a black-lit paradise, Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky") is a complete 180 of the lives Vaughn had lead before, and he doesn't know how to process it healthily at first at all.

This is escalated by how on-and-off again the initial romantic partnership between him and Vox was (and this was due to Valentino guilting + threatening Vox out of getting "too close" to Vaughn for a while, but Vaughn isn't aware of this at first. Miscommunication is so sad to see.); so Vaughn perceives himself as an escape for Vox and is torn between his genuine attraction to Vox and Vox's assumed disinterest ("Well I know what you want from me. You want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception; setting you free." & "Make it real, 'Cause anything's better than the way I feel right now" ). He hates the idea that he's nothing but a "getaway" but he's so genuinely enamored and in love with Vox that he puts up with the "lie".

There's clear adoration for Vox's presence and his appearance throughout the song, emphasis on technological aspects and influence ("Half algorithm, half deity / Glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream" and even more directly "Digital demons make the night feel heavenly") and more subtle references to how he monitors Hell ("With one eye on the door, other eye on a rail / Other, other eye following a scarlet trail"), but most importantly the yearning of just wanting to know Vox and wanting to be known and seen by him the same way ("Won't you come and dance in the dark with me? Show me what you are, I am desperate to know." , "Who made you like this? Who encrypted your dark gospel in body language?" and "Tell me you met me in past lives, past life, past what might be eating me from the inside, darling") haunts the track.

The feeling of conflicted melancholy and want to be in a genuine relationship is carried over to Rain, another track by Sleep Token. in this context, this track is an a parallel to Vaughn's Point of View in Ascensionism; focusing on Vox's train of throught and interpretation of the beginning of their partnership. To Vox, Vaughn's presence in his life is refreshing, like a breath of fresh air ("And just like the rain, you cast the dust into nothing and wash out the salt from my hands"). Vaughn is firm about protecting his peace, and is insanely headstrong despite the threats he gets from demons with far more power than him; and that reckless resilience is so inspiring to Vox.

This is especially true at the time of their proper meeting and soul contract proposal; Vox was receiving the worst of Valentino's anger and frustraion about Angel Dust moving into the Hazbin Hotel, causing Vox to shut in on himself. Vaughn's arrival in Hell and the actual threat he posed to the Vees as an outsider was eye-opening to Vox. It made him realize he didn't need to be as complacent in his misery as he was, despite being in Hell. ("For so long, I have waited / So long that I almost became just a stoic statue, fit for nobody. And I don't wanna get in your way, but I finally think I can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me").

Even after realizing this, and acquiring Vaughn's soul, he's hesitant to be fully dedicated to Vaughn and cut ties with Valentino. Partially because he tries to reason that it's "purely a business endeavor" to have Vaughn's soul (it's not), but also because he feels like he deserves the abuse from Valentino (who also threatens Vaughn's safety when he notices Vox's interest in the "lesser demon"). Vox was a cultist in life, but he died in the 1950's, and is convinced his sexuality played a part in his arrival in Hell due to the upbringing of his time period. He's not ready to confront that it's possible to be in a healthy relationship with another man, and that's part of why he took shit from Valentino for so long; "serving [his] eternal punishment" or whatever. ("I know, I know, the way that it goes / You get what you give, you reap what you sow")

At first Vox tries to ignore his attraction, but it starts consuming him. He always smiles more when Vaughn is in the room, the workload feels less straining when Vaughn gives it to him, he laughs more, and he doesn't know how to process it. He wants there to be more, it claws and tears at his chest that the time they spend together always has to end. It drives him crazier knowing it doesn't have to. ("It's that chemical cut that I can get down with / Up like the moon and out like the hounds. A dangerous disposition somehow refracted in light, reflected in sound / I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent, tangled in your trance and I'm certain you have got your hooks in me." , "I know, I know, I am what I am / The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb / So darling, will you saturate?" and "Nobody can say for certain if maybe it's all just a game / When I open my eyes to the future, I can hear you say my name")

TLDR; Vox and Vaughn were both a insanely mentally ill and traumatized at the start of their relationship with each other in different and complicated ways that makes their eventual growth and understanding of eachother so much more beautiful . that & i can process anything through my selfships .

[mystic-helena]

hello! can i request a kuroo x reader where kuroo and the reader are childhood friends but he doesn’t know how to tell her he loves i love your blog by the ways its really cute ok have a great day bb hope you’re doing well ♡︎

Childhood crush ft Kuroo!

a/n: I FORGOT TO POST THIS ITS BEEN SO LONG I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE HOW SORRY I AM OH MY GOD IT ISNT EVEN GOOD

Kuroo had always been there for you and you’ve been always there for him.

Since the beginning of times—okay, maybe not the beginning of times, but the beginning of your life—Kuroo has been there, it could be laughting at you when you fall after helping you get up or simply existing beside you on a sleepover at a half past eleven when you both should be sleeping—because for twelve-year-old kids that is pretty late according to his parents—but are instead looking at the bedroom ceiling and forming constellations with the glow-in-the-dark stars he has over his bed.

Right now, as strange as it may be for you, Kuroo isn’t glued to your side...

...because he’s talking to his reflection in your bathroom.

For the past twenty minutes.

His hands are on both sides of the sink, upper body leaning towards the reflective surface, brown eyes digging holes into it, as if starting too hard would magically put his ideas in order.

“Tetsuro, we both know how the childhood best friend never gets the love interest—he said while pointing at the mirror, eyes fixed in his own face—, but, we also have advantage because our fate isn’t written as if we were mere characters in a book. Wait, maybe that’s even worse”

“Tetsu, you’ve been there for forever, come out already” you practically yell, cheek pressed against the coffee table in your living room “you know I promised I won’t laugh-”

Oh, right. He almost forgot about it. The reason why he was at the bathroom.

“-if you finally admitted you are shit putting make up on and finally let me help you.”

Many ‘make up stuff’ as he named it, was untouched in front of him. All of it belongs to your cousin, who also implanted the idea of downloading tiktok in your head. Which is also the reason why he was supposed to make himself look like one of those people who had glitter almost all over their faces, imitating the Euphoria series look, thing he agreed to do just because you asked him with the only reason of him being ‘pretty’ and having perfect skin. And yes, his heart skipped a beat when you called him pretty.

“I’m done y/n, just give me five more minutes” he says as he rapidly tries to find the ‘black thingy’ they used on videos to ‘paint lines on their eyes and look like a cat’. He thinks he should have paid more attention when you were telling him which thing does what. But five seconds prior that you called him pretty. Not handsome but pretty, how is he supposed to feel about that? He has mussels, has a deep voice, is tall and is very intelligent. Why would you call him pretty? I mean, being called pretty is better than not being called pretty. And now he’s back to staring into his reflection.

With much difficulty he steps out of his spiraling thoughts and finds the eyeliner—that’s what it’s called, he celebrates—and tries to paint a straight line on top of his eye. It’s comes out pretty decent, he’s glad his hands are steady. He goes for the other eye. This one is a little bit wonky but probably you won’t notice, he thinks as he puts down the eyeliner and looks for the glitter. He’s gonna regret this later, glitter gets everywhere when he opens the little container. He coughs and closes the glitter container.

“Are you ok over there? You sure you don’t need help?” you sound concerned and he cringes when he looks at the mirror and sees the glitter got into his mouth. How did he do that? Shit, that will be a pain to take off. Well, another problem for future him, he shruggs and thinks a way to stick the glitter to his face and make it look good. The lipgloss is looking at him and he’s looking back.

Kuroo opens wide the door—he was in there for more than 5 minutes—and looks at you. You were about to fall asleep on the couch but bolt right up at the sound of the bathroom door slamming against te wall.

“Took you long enough” you wipe your eyes and stare at his face for a couple of seconds. He stares back and hopes he’s not turning red, why are you staring at him? Did he fuck up that badly? Are you amazed by his make up techniques? Maybe he should say something. “Take a photo, it will last longer” he winks at you and smiles when he sees your eyes widen for a second.

What were you thinking in that moment? You looked shy for a moment before smiling wide and getting up. You walk towards him and grab him by the wrist and drag him to the couch. Kuroo sat and watched as you did the same next to him, and he knows he should be thinking about what to do on the tiktok you were about to do but instead he was getting distracted by how close you are. Maybe one day he would tell you how he feels but for now being your best friend was more than enough.

[44-thehearteccentric-44]

♛ HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE PLACE WHERE SHAMEFUL STATEMENTS AND ODDITY GATHER TO DANCE AND FLUTTER AND CREATE A SCINTILLATING CRINGE, WORTHY OF A LIFETIME OF REDDIT KARMA! ♛

My name's AXYER! But over here, you may call me Heart or Chimney. :)

I should clarify, I'm wording everything on this blog as carefully as I possibly can, if I am uneducated please politely re-inform me! I am likely just uneducated and I promise you I will easily change my mind if you correct me!!!

I personally see kinning in the otherkin sense and the relate-to sense as two separate things; personally, I feel like there should be a term to separate the two better, as I understand that otherkin is a DISTINCT experience from simply relating to a character in a way that you see yourself as them; as such, in my Carrd and here please do not mind the term "kinning" being used for the latter, I am very open to a better term being used as I wish to respect everyone I can, and I find "relate kinning" can be very beneficial to someone, but deserves to be classified as something distinct.

Synpaths. The term you're looking for is synpaths, Axon.

Personally, identifying as an otherkin is a means for me to cope. Nope, you're Heart Axon, in the flesh. You are just him. It's okay, you were taking baby steps.

I don't see myself as Heart in a past life nor Heart spiritually in-general, rather that I am something along the lines of Heart reduced to a human form, or something like that, but do use them as an integral part of my identify and identify as it for personal reasons.

Update to this ^^^^ I identify as an alternate universe of a villain version of Heart, in some sort of Tumblr ask blog-multifandom-palooza-type deal. I am Heart, just an AU of him where he's human and everything's just slightly off and he desperately wants to be himself again because he knows he needs to be.

I might also vent on this blog, so just be mindful!! (Update: trying not to anymore)

My kintypes:

-Idkin, ids are a fictional species that are essentially parasitic organisms that parallel the Host species and have lots of bizarre inhuman qualities! (update: kinda????? It's weird)

-Heartkin, goes hand-in-hand with idkin, I identify as Heart from Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium! I think of myself as an alternate universe version of my AU version of Heart from Untitled Chonny Jash AU. :)

(NOTE: THOSE WHO IDENTIFY AS HEART IN ANY WAY DNI PLEASE! I WILL BRING THIS UP A LOT I AM NOT COMFY WITH OTHER HEARTKINS AND I WILL BLOCK YOU FOR MY OWN WELLBEING! IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL, TRUST ME!)

-The Robber from Ain't No Rest For the Wicked (Chonny Jash's version), this kinda goes hand-in-hand with being Heart as they're kinda blended into one kintype for me. I liked to rob people lots and be evil lots.

-Stick figurekin, a very popular fictional species dictated by skinny bodies, really long legs, shoe feet, and a love for art and fighting!

-Grimmchildkin, I like to think of myself as a Grimmchild that's "human" form is Heart! Or, alternatively, Heart's "furry" form as Grimmchild!

My DNI is right here!! (epic dead link fail) If I follow you first, you're free to interact :) (with few exceptions). Obviously don't interact if you're against otherkin/kinning, and DNI whatsoever if you identify as/with any character from a certain stick figure comic with a black stick figure with lightning tendrils that torments a sad white stick figure with a tie, DNI if you're just a fan of it period, and ABSOLUTELY DNI if you ship said black stick figure with the tie stick figure or his brother, like omg get out you're disgusting.

Also DNI if you or any part of you identify as Heart, just a personal reference! However, PLEAAAAAAAASE interact if you identify as/with Soul or Mind, or even Looks to the Moon from Rain World! They're all massive comforts to me, and I would be overjoyed to interact with any of you! (edit: Hollow Knight kins also please! Especially Ghost, Grimm, or White Lady!!)

Oh, and Nightmarionne kinnies too…… he's been a big comfort to me for a weawwy long time, I just love imagining him as a robo-dilf.

I'd prefer it if only I interacted with fictionkins/otherhearted of these characters interacted rather than any other type of identification, just a personal preference and yk wanting to stay with people I can relate to.

Tags:

#not kinning - Not related to kinning!

#bb [insert kin here] moment - Post relating to kinning the character!! You will most likely see this the most with Heart, as he's the main one I identify as a fictionkin with. :)

#the blues and greens - Favourite posts, usually just ones that make me happy or have my kins in them that I really like. :3

#palpitations be among ye - Me acting as Heart… or a stick figure… maybe a kinshift… who knows… not God… he doesn't even know where us ids come from……

#iblings! - Friends posts. :)

#exchanging spiders - Talkin' about otherkin/kinning stuff with other people.

#imprisonment is all that I earned - Venting. :( When it comes to venting, validating my feelings is what I like the most! Agreeing with me and how I feel really helps, I prefer that over advice. :)

#when harmonia shines - Grimmie

#*bites chew toy* hee hee my teeth - Reblogs!!

Finally updated this during August of 2024. I've discovered lots more about my identity since then. I hope to be less pandery-to-people-in-fear-I'm-kinning-wrong now.

[toxicnorn]

i didn't really do this for the sake of nostalgia but i was looking through some past blogs and internet IDs of mine

i'm a very different person from who i was when i originally joined tumblr. i approach writing in a very different way. my opinions on a lot of things have changed a lot. i really cannot give two shits about most discourse nowadays that i used to have opinions on.

when it comes to creative work, i had a lot more energy and confidence, but this was a double-edged sword because for a long period of time, i was single-handedly focused on rp as a distraction from some real heavy shit irl and my fandom stuff wasn't necessarily healthy for me. this is something i've struggled with on and off over the years because i tend to latch really hard to fiction and characters when things are bad. i wrote some really good sentences though and some good characters. i keep trying to recreate the same feelings by recycling characters, but they're different each time because nostalgia's a false thing and you can't just make the same thing twice but different and expect it to be the same.

my latest attempts at fic and rp are trying to come from a different source, which i think is healthier in the long run.

i was like super depressed from 2014-2018 and then the election pummeled me into a different funk for two years, which was better in some ways but worse in others. around 2019, i was finally able to move out of my parents' house for some time. it wasn't very far but it did help me clear my head a bit.

then 2020 happened. i moved back in with my parents for a few months and it was kind of awful, but then i moved back and things were actually better on my end for a bit, but i was still very weird and squirrelish.

2021 happened somewhere along those lines and i don't remember most of 2021 because it was a hell year of going to doctor's appointments until the very end of it. i moved across the country in 2022 to be with my gf (hey bb love you very much if you are reading this) and for the first time maybe ever, i feel like i'm in a pretty good place. i know that there is a still a lot of work ahead of me to figure out How to Be A Person 101 and get over my hangups but i'm really happy.

anyway, when your creative output has been based entirely on distracting yourself from blue moods up until now, it's a bit wild trying to readjust your brain to go "hey, actually, it's okay to like things just to like them, you can fuel yourself with other emotions, having characters that live in your head is not cringe or something." i'm having fun though, even if i can't manage the output that i'd like to.

this isn't me gloomyposting btw. i think if anything, it's the opposite because things are pretty okay. i might have issues that creatively frustrate me and i might have flaws i'm trying to work on and of course learning How To Social is always an ongoing effort and we aren't even getting into the ongoing saga of Getting My Bran To Work On Medication (on one hand, it's been great because i have the least amount of anxiety than i have ever had in my life; on the other hand, my brain feels like it's two feet out of reach more days than i'd like it to and i'm really frustrated by the fact that i cannot make the connections between thoughts and actions, like my brain just stutters before comprehending that ii should do very basic actions), but all in all, things are great and i'm excited for the future.

there are a lot of people i've lost track of that vanished off tumblr after 2018. i realized a small handful of people were assholes. some of the people i used to know seem to have fallen off the fact of the internet entirely and i doubt i'll ever learn what happened to them. at least one of my very early internet friends died, klim. i don't really know what happened to most of the people i knew in those days when i was on gaia online but i hope that they're doing well. i was a very different person when i was on that site but i was also 16, so of course i was.

anyway, i talk different now. i communicate differently. my internet voice has changed. i used to use random caps for everything. i don't capitalize shit anymore and you can't make me.

i don't really want to get back into the mindsets of me of years prior, but i do want to be able to tap into that well of creative potential because it seemed like i had so much energy for writing, for talking about writing, for sharing and brainstorming and thinking. i know that i am a person capable of writing a novella in the same of a few weeks so i want to regain that.

but i want to have more fun with it this time. i want it to belong to me and not belong to various plagues and maladies. i think deep down, there is a part of me that misses being nine and thinking i had invented fanfiction and talking about my zelda fic with all my friends without a hint of self-consciousness, but, like, with less 1999 going on because the 90s normalized a lot of shit that's not great.

anyway i don't really know where i'm going with this, so i am going to rotate characters in my mind before i go to bed

[acourtofthought]

I know I shouldn't let others influence my thinking, but e/lriels have made me dislike elain in the past where I used to be pretty indifferent due to her underdevelopment because 1) of what vile bullies they are (it's always the Nice characters those people flock to for some reason) and 2) the odd ways they choose to interpret her character is so hugely unappealing to me (they either want her to be a carbon copy of her sisters/gwyn, or remain a blank slate uwu baby girl without a personality for them to self insert on for smut, which I get but like... c'mon) I just wanted to say you and a handful of other eluciens are turning me around to her and are making me excited for her book where I wasn't before. I love your analysis's of her character and how you want to see her grow 🥹 I still see things that make it hard for me to look at fan art of her but every time I feel gross I come back to your blog and that settles my spirit lol I'm pretty sure y'all are the only ones that actually care about her character development and WANT her to succeed and grow.

Messages like this make my day, thank you ❤️ And you're right, there are way too many versions of Elain out there and some of them really are cringe worthy. If Elain's character was meant to be read a certain way then I don't think we'd have the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) references to how different she is from her sisters. How Nesta was born "Illyrian" and "Elain is Elain". Meaning Nesta was someone who had it in her to be in a place like the NC so they felt frustrated she wasn't living up to her warrior potential while Elain is someone different. How Nesta wore the Illyrian leathers in the war AND immediately took a dagger while Elain was against both things and only accepted TT after Feyre's reassurance (then walked away without looking back). (It's noteworthy that Gwyn too had no issues wearing leathers). How Elain declares she's part of their court but the color black sucks the life from her while Night Court black on Nesta brings Cassian to his knees and causes him to remark how Feyre looks like a goddess. How cruelty bothers Elain yet we never have that mentioned in reference to her sisters or Gwyn. How her own sisters consider her merely a pleasant companion and not someone they'd turn to first or loyal like a dog. How Elain, at her best, was thriving in a social setting, hosting balls, talking to everyone yet some try to pair her off with the most aloof character of them all who doesn't enjoy talking to others all that much. Some readers might not feel there's much to go on about Elain just yet but there are definitely things throughout the series that do form a picture and I'm not sure what good it does for anyone to ignore them. Predicting an endgame ship will only work when you take an honest look at who the characters are as individuals and I find that too many ignore the actual things SJM has told us about Elain's character (and no, I'm not talking about the things Elain is currently trying to convince herself of) just so she's a better fit for a male and that's actually really sad. That they have to erase parts of her in order to make E/riel make sense.

[sheltershock]

It occurs to me now that we’re past February 22nd in 2024, which means it’s been an entire year since I started a little fan-comic project… that I never finished. I quit somewhere around June for a number of reasons and I even posted some wips on my blog for it, but I never said anything about stopping. I still have no idea why anyone would reblog those. But even if I didn’t finish it, I think it made me a better artist.

I would set up my phone camera to take my own reference photos, but I didn’t have a tripod or anything so I’d prop it up with things I had on hand and try to get the angle as close as I imagined it. I think drawing poses I was making myself helped. I set my expectations super high though. I’d never done a comic before, even though I wanted this to be really good. I had set that standard for myself. But starting out I didn’t even draw the borders for the panels! I just starting drawing stuff and thought “oh I’d draw the box later.” I figured it out pretty quick, don’t worry. I even drew blueprints of the rooms the characters would be in and drew in little “cameras” to properly visualize how the background would look from specific angles.

I started paying more attention though to comics whenever I’d see them. Seeing how the panels flowed and how they were cut. Mine looked nothing like that but I wasn’t even planning on drawing the boxes so yeah that checks out. I did a second attempt on a different comic that I would have never finished because it would be way too long- but I had more fun coming up with ideas for panel layout. Having the different shapes and flow tell the story. It was cool. I really liked it.

I’d been thinking every couple of months of going back to that comic project, actually finishing it. Once I opened it up and almost immediately died of cringe. The earlier stuff was nowhere on par of the later stuff, so I’d thought I’d have to redo it. But actually, with how terrible the layout is, I’d have to redo the entire thing anyway at the foundation. I like to think I’d make it better.

But I haven’t drawn people in months. I’m scared to honestly. People are complex and complicated, I don’t want things to look bad. And I don’t know how to color, but I want so badly for my stuff to be in color. None of the stuff on my blog is in color, just black and white with no shading or with like a cream aura to it. I’m worried about getting back into drawing again. But I want and have been meaning to. I want to draw my own characters and nice little illustrations and I’ve been wanting to make a new pfp for months. The one I have now is one I had done back in October of 2022 and that took so long because I wanted it to be good.

I want to, I really do. But it’s hard to sit down and knowingly make something that’s going to look horrible in a couple of weeks or even days. It’s not impossible, but it’s hard.

[judasisgayriot]

🎸💞 Hey, I hope it's okay to send you something kinda... personal/venty related to FOB?

I think I mentioned that I listen to and like their music, they've just always been (pre-your blog!) one of those bands you enjoy but don't look much deeper into. So American Beauty/American Psycho had just come out and I'd just gotten my first smart phone capable of running Spotify. I'm very shy and my best friend had dragged me to a party with her theatre friends (extremely NOT my scene but I wanted to support her.) I got a drunk and announced to everyone that FOB had a new album and I was going to play it loudly from my phone, come dance with me! (*head in my hands* OMG, I'm cringing 😂...) Surprise surprise, none of them wanted to, lol. I announced it a few more times while the album played, singing along loudly to Centuries on my own. Eventually, my friend came and took my arm in front of everyone and said I should give it up because the songs were shit anyway. I was so embarrassed and it left me feeling really sad.

 It probably sounds stupid, but because of that experience, I had this sad/bad association with the album, so I stopped listening to it. Every time I thought about playing it, I would just (1) cringe at what an ass I made of myself in front of her friends and (2) feel bitter about her "betrayal" (lol) saying the songs were shit (especially because, a few months later, she started listening to that album!!! Not so shit anymore, huh?!)

However, I think I have a happy ending :) I've been thinking of sending you this message for a while, because I do genuinely believe you'll care. While I've been typing this, I've had the album playing for the first time in years. (It's awesome!!) Writing this was therapeutic, and I think nine years is enough time for me to get over this extremely silly and not even that bad thing 😉

Thank you for reading this!

Hi!!

Awww thanks for telling me this, it might sound silly when you look back on it but stuff like that really can affect how you feel about something, like I can see how that left you feeling tainted about the whole thing…(that’s shitty by the way, and if they couldn’t recognise that ABAP is a MASTERPIECE of an album… smh lol)

And you’re right I do care!! and I think it’s super cool that you’ve revisited it and feel better about it now and if my silly blogging made that partially possible that’s so awesome haha. I’ve genuinely loved hearing about your FOB journey as I’m going on my own descent into madness about this band that I’ve loved for a long time but never been this insane about until last year haha

I keep being like sorry I involuntarily dragged you into this with me lol but also I’m happy if it helped you do some healing from past cringe haha! I say embrace the cringe, embrace the madness, embrace the LOVE and the LORE and keep letting me know your reactions to it all 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[lovelyjj]

blurb request here!! something where reader is napping somewhere in the chateau while the rest of the pogues are just in the main area talking and whatnot. reader wakes up kind of grumpy and grouchy, bc she was woken up, and just goes to jj and just hugs him just because, and everyone's just gushing ab how cute they are, etc? i love ur writing <33

when I was editing my blog and I decided to put requests in my ask box, I literally thought no one would ever request. So I really appreciate you. It means the world to me that you think of me.

Goodmorning Sunshine

sleepy!reader x jj name a better duo<33 

pouges x platonic reader :)

word count: 1,935

a/n: I haven’t posted any of my writings in months, I had every intention of fulfilling requests in a timely matter. I started them as soon as I got them. Lots of things did come up in my personal life where I just couldn’t write. I have a ton of WIPS. I hope to get back to them soon. Thanks for being patient, and I’m sorry this took so long.

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Your cheek was pressed against the back of your hand as you slept. The afternoon air surrounding the château was warm as you napped. You were peacefully sleeping as the rest of the pogues talked quietly on the porch.

JJ stood leaning against the wall talking. When a particularly loud laugh or shout would occur JJ would shoot his friends a glare. Because obviously his girl was just inside, and she needed her beauty sleep.

Your glasses were still on during your slumber. They were disheveled and pressed on the bridge of your nose and near your eyebrows.

Sarah came in through the screen door to use the bathroom when it slammed shut. She cringed with her eyes crinkled shut. She carefully opened one eye and glanced at you as you whined and started mumbling.

"shit shit shit." Sarah muttered.

"I'm sorry y/n." she whispered and speeded down the hall.

You took all the sleepy strength you had in you to sit up. You palmed over your face causing your glasses to fall off over your head and land somewhere on the mattress. You frowned staring off into space when John B came in looking for another pack of beers.

"Oh no! who woke the princess?" John B smiled.

"Shut shut UP!" you grunted as you threw your pillow at him.

"Where's-" you began. To no surprise, as your first thought after your slumber tends to only be of him.

"Don't worry your boy is right outside, ok?"

You only nodded slowly in reply and squinted around the dimly lit room in search of your person.

When Sarah and John B returned to the porch they all start giving JJ worried looks and shifty eyes.

"What?" he asks.

"What did you do?" Kie asks frowning at Sarah.

JJ's body tenses and whips his head around at your entrance. His body came off from against the brick wall to face your direction.

You struggle at first with the screen door, then with a grunt, it swings open. And there you are making your way towards him and mumbling how your gonna take care of Sarah later.

It was almost zombie-like, the efforts you made to get to him. You hung your head low, pushing past the rest of the pogues and sauntering over, arms swinging at the ready.

JJ watched with adoration at your sleepy figure. It was an almost dive into his chest. You came stumbling over to him. Your face found home on his shoulder as you smoothed your arms around him.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you. Like he always does. He watched as you sank into him and found shelter in his embrace.

"You gonna say hello, or just make a pit stop here?" JJ asked as he ran a few fingers over your head of hair.

In response, you simply pushed your face into his collarbone and mumbled something along the lines of, "I found you."

"Always been just right here." JJ comforted.

You gave a weak hum in response, signaling you heard him. You started swaying a little in your hug. And he hugged you back a little tighter, holding you to him.

Kiara commented to the other pogues, "I thought she was going to be grumpy."

"I don't know, she looks pretty content in JJ's arms," Pope said making note of your peaceful demeanor.

Sarah who was expecting revenge smiled, "I mean look at them, It's like they're made for each other."

You felt your body relax, and your breathing started to get slower. The sun was shining on you and you felt safe. Safe leaning against him.

JJ felt your change in movement. The way you melted into him.

"Are you sleeping on me?" he asked.

You lifted your face away from his neck, "I don't know, I just-" you let out a sigh then continued, "need you. Needed to be close to you."

He took your face from resting against him and gently held it in his hands. He looked into your eyes, gazing at them like you were his only priority.

You felt the measure of his stare, and squinted right back at him.

"Or your just really comfortable and I haven't fully woken up from my nap." you poked fun.

He stroked both your cheeks delicately with his thumbs. Then with one hand holding your cheek, he carefully moved his thumb up under your eye and up against your nose. The pad of his thumb brushed the bridge of your nose.

He put his tongue between his teeth as he concentrated.

He than took his other hand and using his index and middle finger smoothed over the red patch over your eyebrow.

It was JJs turn to bust out a laugh, "These from your glasses?" He questioned smoothing over the red indents on your skin.

You whined and pushed your forehead into his shoulder, "Stop it, I was sleeping" you grumbled.

He bent down and placed a kiss to your nose, causing you to scrunch your face.

You stood up straight in his hold, moving your arms to be tossed around his neck. You bumped your nose with his. You rubbed them together and whispered over his lips, "how about another?"

JJ lips turned upwards in a ghost of a smirk, before he slowly placed them on yours. You both smiled into the kiss. It was slow and sleepy and you felt sparks.

One of JJs hands moved up and slid into your hair, cradling your head. As yours stayed loosely around his neck. JJs other hand gripped your waist.

Before the kiss could go any deeper, John B threw a empty beer can that nearly hit the two of you. It hit the wall you and your boyfriend were nearly making out on with a loud smack. It then spun around and landed by your feet.

"Hey lovebirds! Quit it will you, we don't wanna watch you suck your faces off!" John B shouted.

You turned around and shot daggers at John B. You were about to respond when JJ beat you to it.

"Oh John B your one to talk, don't act like you don't mack on Sarah any chance you get. We always have to watch." JJ then proceeded to raise his middle finger at John B.

John B was about to resort when Kiara stepped in, "It's true, you and Sarah do it more than them."

Sarah gasped while you smirked at her, "ha."

"I'd like to remind you that you and y/n just committed the crime of public displays of affection." Pope voiced and directed the attention back to JJ.

JJ put his hands up in defense, "Alright my bad, I admit it. The PDA police got me, take me away officer." He then put his wrist together and held them out towards Pope.

You laughed at JJ and his antics. Truth be told he'd do anything to make you laugh and to see your pretty smile. He was in heaven with you grinning at him like that.

"You'd go to jail for me?" you questioned softly.

He turned to you and nodded his head before he turned back to Pope and called out, "Pope! Am I under arrest?"

Pope looked around, "Yes you are, and I have three witnesses to prove it."

Sarah leaned her head on John Bs shoulder as she laughed and Kiara smiled at Pope.

"And my girl? She ain't going to jail. She didn't do anything. She's innocent, innocent I say!" JJ continued spewing testaments. That he would go to jail for you, even if a kiss was a two-person crime.

Pope got up from his seat to go mimic taking away JJ.

"Alright, If I'm going to jail anyway gotta make it worthwhile," JJ spoke in a much more calm matter.

He went to where you stood watching him with hearts in your eyes and planted a kiss on your lips. He then trailed up to your cheeks. He kissed your nose twice and peppered more kisses on your forehead and chin.

He held your face as you giggled and gasped out of breath "JJ! Stop please. JJ! I mean it."

JJ did let up on peppering your face with kisses when he kissed your lips one last time, and went down to your neck and left one single kiss there.

"JJ" you warned as his breath fanned over your neck where he just kissed.

"Don't" you pleaded, "Later."

He reclined and became face to face with you, and he whispered so only you could hear, "You'd let me go to jail for a kiss on your lips, but you won't let me give you a hickey in front of our best pals."

You looked at his twinkling eyes, and reciprocated the same tension he was giving you. You bit your lip still staring at him and nodded.

"Later." You whispered.

JJ cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips, "right" he answered.

Meanwhile, The others sipped their drinks and averted their eyes. They gave one another an eyebrow raise and a double glance from you and JJ and than back to each other.

Kiara jokingly rolled her eyes at the pair of you and went back to her conversation.

Sarah decided to get back to talking about your relationship, "I love them honestly."

"Even when they get a lovey dovey?" Kiara questioned.

"Yeah, I thought she was going to come out here and tell me off for waking her up." Sarah took a swig of her drink as she kept talking.

John B laughed.

"But she just made a beeline to him, and look at her. She so calm and relaxed." Sarah finished declaring happiness for her besties.

"Although I am a little grossed out by their lovey dovey stuff as Kie calls it, I've never seen them so happy except when their together." Pope said providing his input.

"Couple of fools in love, if i ever saw it." John B commented.

"A pogue in love with a kook, If i ever saw you and Sarah," Kie spoke directed at John B.

"Ouch. I guess I deserve that." John B got knocked down a peg.

"Excuse me," Sarah exclaimed. She started throwing her chips at Kiara.

Kie just laughed. "I'm only joking. Cut it out." throwing her hands and legs up to dodge the attack.

John B stood up for her, "She can be a pogue at heart."

Sarah gave him a tight-lipped smile and showed him, love, through her eyes.

"It's really hard to hate them when I hear the way y/n talks about him," Kie mentioned

"What really what does she say?" Pope questioned.

"Yeah, sometimes I forget she's talking about JJ when she opens up to us" Sarah added.

You had confided in your best girlfriends Kie and Sarah as they usually want the juicy details.

Kie nonchalantly replied to Pope, "Just that she's in love with him, and she's never met someone that loves her like he does."

Pope glanced at you and JJ standing up and having your own conversation. Your arms were tangled around his torso and you gazed up at him like he hung the stars in the sky.

JJ was smiling as he talked to you. He knew his friends were having their own conversation, probably about him. However, he didn't think to join in, maybe later. Right now he was with you. The only person he could ever need, ever love. His person. You.

Pope looked back towards the group, "I believe it."

[amberjazmyn]

perhaps one day

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - perhaps one day

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - literally none, it's fluff, it's cheese, it's cute and it's love

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - five times the cast of supernatural think alexander calvert has proposed to reader + the one time he actually has

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - the title is horrendous but if anyone has any better name, please tell me cause this name gives me all the cringe. also, i've seen so many of these but my favourite one is from the blog fromeden and you should def check it out!

masterlist

---

one

jared was certain, absolutely sure, completely convinced that alex, your boyfriend, popped the question. he was like, ten million percent sure. although he wasn't equipped with "evidence" per se, he started to pick up what he thought were tell-tale signs that gave him the impression that alex had put a ring on it.

the "veteran" supernatural actor was so sure of himself that, he told jensen and rob. telling them both that the proposal must have happened over the public holiday. the public holiday that, obviously, everyone but actors in vancouver had off.

"...just look at them, jensen! i swear to god, alex has proposed," jared almost squeals, watching the way you two were all over each other

"come on now, dude. you could be overreacting--"

"--in fairness, look at her left hand, she's clearly covering it. it has to be a ring," rob inserts, causing a slight scare for jared and jensen, worrying that you and alex could have overheard

"and how would you know, rob?" jensen sassed, jared's eyes widening as rob chuckled

"isn't it obvious, jensen? her left hand is hidden because she wants to tell us rather than us finding it out beforehand," rob touches his nose which makes jared and jensen giggle

however, it wasn't until gen, jared's wife, walked past that shut down the rumours of a potential supernatural wedding on its way

"you guys are crazy. the reason why she's hiding her left hand is because, if you guys really paid attention, you would know she has always rested her right hand over her left one. she isn't engaged and alex hasn't proposed to her. y'all are crazy sometimes i swear," gen chuckled, shaking her head which made jared and jensen down in the dumbs whereas rob just chuckled

it wasn't until after you and alex finished what it was you were doing that you realised that the entire time, jared, jensen, rob and gen had all been bickering. bickering about what they thought was your proposal that they had completely missed because it was done in secret.

in which, to clarify, did not happen. gen was right, the "tell" of you being engaged because you were hiding your left hand was false. you have always hidden your left hand by covering it with your right hand if you leave it resting on a table.

two

it was a wednesday, middle of the week and the cast of supernatural were all getting ready to finish up their work day. pleading for at least a full three-day weekend of rest. although alex was normally always flustered, this wednesday, he looked even more flustered then usual. it felt like he was running around like a headless chicken looking for something.

"you good, alcal? whatchu looking for?" jensen questioned, his head poking out from a wall as he was leaving the bunker set

"uh, yeah, i...um...i'm taking y.n for a weekend trip and i printed off our booking for it but, i can't seem to find it," he mutters as he continues to look for it

"ooh, that's exciting. where to, any particular reason why?" jensen teases as he moves to lean against the wall

stopping his search for a second, alex sighed in agitation, "down by the mountains cause i know she's always wanted to go there for ages. i booked a loft, i printed the booking info like moments ago and now i can't find it!" he was getting angrier and for once, jensen didn't want to instigate him

jensen smiles, noticing it was at a completely different printer, "this booking info?" he says as he picks it up and hands it to the younger actor who breathes a sigh of relief

"thank you so much, jensen! i l...you are my favourite person in the world right now other than y.n!" alex feels himself calm down which is when, of course, jensen instigates him with hints of a marriage proposal

"sooo, with the holiday getaway this weekend, what's it for...you know, anything special other than just because y.n's never been before?" jensen teased as alex turned back around and gave jensen what would be classified as a "stank face"

"umm, no...no...we're going because y.n's genuinely never gone to the mountains and i thought, we have the time and the money so, we're going for the weekend...why are you asking?" alex gave a look of confusion as jensen just nodded his head in embarrassment

jensen started backing away when alex ran after him, the booking for the holiday in his hands, "why are you asking, jensen? stop running away!" thankfully, jensen hadn't run too far as he laughed slightly

"umm, i just thought you guys were gonna come back with a special announcement but, don't worry, it's clearly not that and i apologise for jumping to a conclusion that is obviously not happening. have a great vacation you two. make sure you send us some photos after knowing that you won't be texting or calling us at all," jensen chuckled as that seemed to satisfy alex and he smiled back, nodding

"will do, jensen. the photos will be sent from y.n's phone not mine. have a good weekend yourself, don't do anything i wouldn't do," alex smiled, his bag across his shoulder as jensen smiled back

"i will, thanks. see you monday, hopefully tuesday but, we shouldn't be too sure because, as we know from past situations, our crew don't typically like to take vacations!" jensen chuckled as alex nodded his head before leaving whilst jensen didn't

and that was because, hidden away behind the wall where jensen was leaning against, was jared and rob, all waiting to see if jensen got the information about the "proposal".

"and, jensen? what did he say? will there be a ring on y.n's finger when they come back?" jared tried, a look of hope in his eyes as jensen just shook his head, rob chuckling

"nope, sorry buddy. just a vacation in the mountains because y.n's never been. and, before you ask, yes, i did subtly ask but, no, there will be no ring on her finger when they get back..." jensen trailed off as jared growled in annoyance as jensen and rob's eyes grew wide in shock

"...oh come on! i really thought it would be this time!" jared was truly devastated that his best friend wouldn't be getting proposed to as jensen and rob, again, giggled

"sorry buddy but, i think blondie's waiting for a specific day if he has even thought about it," rob shrugged as jensen nodded his head and left, leaving jared and jensen with one last thing

"and if he is, we shouldn't be pushing it or hounding him over it. he'll do it when they are both ready for it!" rob says whilst walking out of the office

jared and jensen share looks of, even though they hated it, they couldn't help but agree with rob's statement. if it hadn't happened this time and the time before, it's clear that it's not happening just yet. because, one, either alex and y.n haven't talked about it yet or, they simply aren't ready for it.

three

by the third time that jensen, jared and rob thought that alex proposed, gen, danneel and now rich was even watching, looking for any new tells. new tells that could possibly tell them if alex had proposed yet or not. and, obviously, because it's the supernatural cast, there is at least three different bets going on all at the same time. which makes no sense clearly but, to them it makes sense.

this time it was danneel that noticed something that could have been possibly a little off for alex. he had a little bag on his director's chair. whilst it wasn't out in plain sight, it wasn't being hidden either. so, danneel just decided to go for it and straight up ask him what it was.

"hey, alex, what's in the bag?" danneel questioned, a little giddy glint in her eye

alex smiled, making eye contact with danneel, "oh, um *shy chuckle* it's just an anniversary gift..." he trailed off nervously, hoping she wasn't close by

danneel felt her shoulders deflate. she knew she should have felt a little sad that it wasn't likely an engagement ring but, she still couldn't believe that it had so quickly got to their anniversary.

"what is it? some jewellery? what number anniversary is now, alex?" danneel no longer cared about the bet or the possibility of an engagement and wedding

she just cared that alex and y.n were still so head over heels in love with each other. even though she knew they'd never fall out of love with one another.

"oh, just a matching necklace and earrings set. we've been dating. for like, four years now. i remember overhearing from someone, it may have been gen or even jared that you never gift a partner a ring unless you plan to marry them. so, i decided to get her a matching emerald necklace and earrings because y.n's already got so many rings, not just her own but also ones that my mom has gifted her," alex smiled shyly as danneel's face lit up

"aw, that's so sweet. and happy four years, alex. four years is amazing. you and y.n should be so proud of that. and, good on you for deciding to not get a ring as i know so many people at the four year mark who would have gotten a ring and it turn out that they weren't ready to be married. you're really a smart man, alex. i'm sure y.n'll love the present," danneel smiled, ruffling his hair in pride for the young actor as alex chuckled, fixing his hair as danneel walked away

curious, of course, jensen and jared, gave her the look. and, danneel, with a sense of pride, shook her head no. again, jensen and jared were saddened but, when danneel, jensen's wife, explained, they felt a sense of pride wash over them. the same pride that washed over danneel that alex knew not to gift y.n a ring if it either wasn't a promise ring, engagement ring or a replacement ring for one that broke.

however, it was at this point, the third time that the cast thought that alex was going to propose that, he actually started planning it. obviously, it doesn't take long before rumours start to travel throughout the cast. so, it wasn't long before alex and even y.n began to hear of the rumours of the two young actors getting engaged. and, that was when the couple started to talk about it. because, like thought of as one of the reasons why it hasn't happened yet, alex and y.n just hadn't spoken about it. not because they didn't want to marry each other, they just hadn't spoken about it in proper detail. until now when they did start a conversation on it after a day of filming in the bunker set on their four-year-anniversary and they were each gifted four gifts each. and now, with the knowledge of his girlfriend's ring-size, he decided to ring up misha, because, like most people, alex would not have guessed that misha was in on all the rumours and the bets so, he asked him for advice.

let's just say that it was a struggle for the misha collins to keep a straight face when alex asked him if at some point during a free day of work that he could help him in finding an engagement ring for y.n. yet, misha managed to keep his cool and, obviously, didn't tell the rest of the cast who were in on the rumours and bets about it because, one, he didn't want to break alex's trust and two, whilst he did participate in cast rumours and bets, he would never rat out to the betters if he was on the other side.

four

it's a quiet and slow day when out of nowhere, like, complete nowhere. everyone, except for alex and y.n, rush into jared's trailer. worrying that something bad had happened like someone had been killed or arrested, it was confusing when they just all saw jared basically hyperventilating.

"...are you alright jared?" gen questions with worry, wondering why her husband was literally hyperventilating if no one had died or been arrested

"i...i think it's the day!" he struggles to say as the cast all look at each other in confusion

"what? you think it's the day? what day? it's a monday, jared, what could be so exciting about a monday?" danneel then questioned as jared bursted with another round of excitement which scared everyone

"but that's just it! i think it's happened! i really think alcal and y.n are engaged!" jared screeches with excitement as danneel shakes her head, jensen, gen, rob, rich and misha smile

"and why do you think that, dude?" jensen speaks up as jared squeals yet again

but, he doesn't say anything and misha's eyes widened, "what did you do, jared? what did you hack into?" he was worried that jared had somehow found out about the conversation he had with alex about him helping alex out with finding an engagement ring

"the hotel that they will be staying in for their belated four-year-anniversary..." jared backs up, trailing off of his sentence as no one notices the breath of relief that misha breathes out

"...wait, so you think he's gonna propose to her at a hotel, jared?" jensen questions in confusion

however, that was when you walked in and let's just say you were beyond confused.

"umm, who is going to propose to me where?" you blurted out as everyone's eyes widened

and no one spoke up. that was, until rob did and let's just say, he truly saved the day here, "oh, no one darling. we're just talking about the time i proposed to mollie in a hotel however many years ago it was..." he trailed off and everyone just hoped you believed it

and...you did. you didn't even question it and you should have cause you basically knew everything about all of your cast members. so, it confused the rest of the cast when you didn't question it.

"...oh, okay, cool, sorry, my bad. well, umm, if anyone's interested, alex has bought all of us some coffee so, we'll be waiting for you guys in the bunker set with it when y'all are ready!" you smiled as you left jared's trailer to alex who waited in the bunker set lot

as soon as everyone knew you were out of sight and out of hearing range, they all let out the heavy breaths that they had no idea they were holding on to.

"holy...lord jesus christ, how on earth did she believe that lie, rob?!" jared bursted out as giggles followed as did head shakes of shock and wide eyes

"i truly have no idea but, well done me i guess!" rob chuckled as everyone shortly followed after him as he left for his morning coffee that was waiting for him in the bunker set lot that for once, he didn't pay for

"yeah, well done you, rob! i seriously thought she wouldn't believe it but it shocked me more that she didn't question you," misha chuckled in bewilderment as rob patted his best friend's shoulder

afterwards, the cast realise that, whilst jared did "hack" into the hotel that you and alex were booked into for that night and the following weekend, that it wasn't because he was proposing to you. it was genuinely because you guys didn't get to celebrate your four-year-anniversary that was the third time that they thought a proposal was happening. so, instead, you guys were going to celebrate it on that friday and saturday instead.

five

it's this day, the fifth time that the cast thinks a proposal is gonna happen that it's misha that teases the group. sending the cast back at vancouver his location that he was in with alex.

"you guys will never guess where i am!" misha sniggers cheekily which earns some confusion from the cast who were basically bored out of the minds

with so much waiting around to do before filming, jensen almost groaned at his fellow cast member, "oh, i don't know, misha, are you by any chance, bullying a spoilt child?" he replies which earns a laugh from misha but also from the rest of the cast, including y.n, although it's obvious she wasn't paying attention

only laughing because everyone else was, misha knew it was the perfect time to tell the rest of the cast, "i'm at the jeweller with alex, and it's a fancy one," he smiles over the phone

"gold thanks, misha, silver makes me look discoloured," danneel jokes, shockingly not realising the situation after she started to pull away from the bets of wanting alex and y.n to get engaged

"good to know mrs ackles but, i'm here with alex because ages ago, when you guys thought for a third time that he was proposing to y.n he asked for help in my opinion on a certain piece he was looking to buy,"

that was when it clicks in danneel's but in everyone else's heads, jared slipping out of the chair, "wait, is this finally the day that it happens?" he just about whispers with his eyes wide and his hands already starting to perisperate

"i seriously think so guys. well, alcal's walking back over and i can tell that y.n's attention is turning back to you guys so, i'll talk to you all later," misha hangs up and focuses back on alex

seeing that misha was about to uncharacteristcally freak out, alex spoke up, "and, yes, it's the time to do it misha. it's why i asked you back those few weeks ago when everyone thought i was gonna do it for the third time i think *chuckles*..." alex trails off as misha's eyes nearly fall out of his socket

he nearly chokes on his own saliva, "wait, you weren't joking when you were asking me for advice on an engagement ring?" misha whispers, realising just how honoured he suddenly felt to be given this opportunity

"yes...i want you to help me and give me advice on an engagement ring for y.n. i was being serious that day when i came to you and asked. i know she loves emeralds because of the emerald necklace and earring set i gave her for our four-year but, i don't know if that's her style in rings too..." alex trailed off, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and stressed, grateful that he had misha with him

overcome with emotion and seeing alex overcome with emotion, misha had to fight himself to not give the young actor a huge hug. resisting however, misha takes in some deep breaths which causes alex to watch and copy so he could calm himself down as well.

"well, whilst y.n loves to wear emeralds on necklaces and earrings, do you know if she has any emerald rings? cause that's a start and if she does have emerald rings and wears them quite often, then, yes, that would be the choice of engagement ring you'd buy. but, if she usually wears a different stone more than the emerald then go for that one, alright?" misha advised as alex smiled and nodded his head, feeling more confident

as a smile overcomes his face, he pulls out his phone and goes straight to his photo album of you. majority of the photos you are wearing a specific ring with a specific stone. and whilst the stone wasn't an emerald, it was a green sapphire ring that you got given by your mother that you always wore on your ring finger. you would wear it until the day you would then change it for the real life green sapphire engagement ring you'd get when you'd eventually get proposed to.

looking at misha's pride-filled face of how, just like figuring out a specific scene, alex quickly figured out that the type of engagement ring you wanted. and how it was the exact same as the one you had been wearing ever since your mom had given it to you. except, whilst it would be similiar, it would be different because alex made sure that whilst the stone was sapphire, he still made sure that there was obvious engagement ring bling on the ring so it was obvious it was an engagement ring. and not just a replacement for the one you already had because, that sapphire ring hadn't broke, it was just being replaced for the real deal.

and, of course, alex didn't really need misha's opinion on the actual ring itself, he just needed the help in figuring out what stone and whether it was emerald or sapphire. so, when misha helped him in figuring it out by asking him if there was a specific stone that you wore more often then the other then, that was the stone of choice.

"misha...thank you for coming with me and helping me. i'm glad you were able to come with me," alex thanked his cast member, pure sincereity seeping from not just his words but his body language

and misha smiled, "my pleasure alex and, don't be thanking me, it was an honour to help you find the right one for y.n," misha replies, not stopping himself from hugging the actor this time. making the blonde sincerely chuckle, he welcomed the hug wonderfully

feeling pride and like a father to the actor (who everyone also said looked like misha), misha couldn't help the urge of a sudden flood of tears that had started to well up in his eyes as the two actors reached to the car

the one

"...hey guys, what are you all doing on the 30th of june?" alex asks, completely out of nowhere since it was another day of blocking

"that's like, nine months away, you really think i plan that far in advance, alex?" danneel questions, nevertheless checking her calender at the same time, her concentration from her paperwork fleeting for just a second

"to be fair, i was not expecting for that reaction," you smiled devishly, clearly hiding something, smiling at alex, "let's go once more and if they don't get this, i think i'm just gonna throw it at them. danneel, gen, briana, would you like to be apart of my bridesmaids?"

just when you thought you were going to have to throw the ring at them, a delayed and very loud gasp falls through the room as everyone turns to stone. it's briana that is the first one to regain her composure, "wait, what are you saying?"

with a joking roll of your eyes, you hold up your left hand and wriggle your fingers...oh and the new, upgraded sapphire engagement ring, "aren't you gonna ask where i got the new upgraded sapphire ring?" you pretty much cackle like an evil witch, surprisingly enjoying the reactions

misha then stands up, since he wasn't in his costume yet and pushed his chair away, "you actually did it?" he's soft in his question to alex

"i did it," the blonde nods, his smile wider than ever before

"you've broken the cast, alex," gen chuckles, looking all around her to see everyone still frozen in their tracks on their seats

however, not for long as briana, danneel and gen jump out of their seats and rush over to you, "why didn't you tell us the second you asked her, alex?! of course...of course i'm free that day and even if i'm not i'll make myself be free! and, excuse me, how dare you ask me to be your bridesmaid with the insinuation that i'd say no, I'D LOVE to be your bridesmaid!"

nearly toppling over you, briana smashes into you for a hug as you couldn't help the laugh that erupts from your throat. after briana's over the top reaction, the guys, jensen, jared, rich, rob and misha stood up out of their seats and also crowded around you and alex. of course then came all the congratulatory hugs and face squishes and wanting to take a closer look at the upgraded sapphire engagement ring.

and, obviously, the next day and then actually the next couple of weeks, briana and danneel and gen, everyone really, starts to bring in little cakes and muffins and things to keep the celebrations of the new supernatural family engagement up and continuing. because, now that the engagement had happened, that meant it was now time to plan the wedding. but, you and alex didn't care, you just loved that after waiting for so long, the cast that is, they finally got their moment to celebrate their two little supernatural babies be engaged because not only were you even more in love with your now fiancé but you just felt like you were being attacked with love at every angle and you loved it and you embraced it.

oh, and, remember that bet that was going around? yeah, it was actually misha that won all of them so, he got all of the money. shockingly, he managed to correctly predict the exact date of the proposal without even being given the date from alex. because, even though misha helped alex in figuring out the ring was a sapphire and not an emerald, that didn't mean he asked nor was given any other information about the day of the proposal. only that the ring was a sapphire so, it was pretty funny and a shock to the system that misha predicted the exact date without knowing it. and he didn't get the day before or the day after, he got the exact day on the dot. for a while, certain team members were a bit suspicious (jensen and jared) but a couple of days later and they just found it amusing and amazing that misha was such an amazing predicter and was then asked to predict the day that the bachelorette party was going to be on. but, that was obviously when misha drew the line as everyone was needed for costuming. because, tv unfortunately doesn't stop just because two actors get engaged.

---

this was so much fun to write and i have always wanted to do one of these but have always been too scared to but i'm glad i finally decided to just do it.

ok bye ily xx

wc; no idea soz

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

Spring Fever

Raphael x Fem!Reader

I really REALLY don't like my writing but thanks to @turtleweens I have like six new 'Spring Fever' wips. So here is a gift! Go check out their blog 😭 it's one of my favorites

Warnings: 18+, angst and fluff

-----------

"I need to go-"

"No."

"And you need to go, too."

"No."

Her sigh was hardly heard over the rain against her windows. Struggling against the large turtle's grip to get out of the numerous pillows and blankets, it was to no avail.

"At least let me get ready, Raph."

"No." he buried his nose in her collar bone, pinning her to the sheets.

"Okay, this stopped being cute, like...five minutes ago."

His embrace loosened just enough to free her and she kicked away the covers, ignoring his hand slipping from her arm and stumbled to the bathroom. He didn't follow, his quiet growl swallowed up in a pillow, his giant frame hidden away in the box of shadow provided by the windows on either side of her bed.

As the minutes ticked away silently, she glanced more and more at his quiet figure as she pulled herself through morning routine.

He'd usually be on his feet, poking her side as she brushed her teeth, attempting to keep her cloths out of reach or kissing her neck, begging to join her in the shower.

Guilt pulled at her. But she heard Leo's voice clear as day. Lecturing them both for leaving the apartment too close to sunrise. For being reckless- for endangering each other for no reason- he'd ask for a stupid explanation they'd never give him. 

Raph needed to go home now if he was going to leave at all. She tried to relax, quenching the urge to snap at him.

Especially now. Because it was not the time to be short with him.

He was a big boy. It was an overcast day, and he wasn't exactly a stranger to daylight travel. So he wasn't incapable. But..."Be home by sunrise." They all said it. All the time. For good reasons. Fear for her boyfriend's safety was the only thing keeping her from marrying the doofus in Time Square, somedays. 

Raph wasn't moving. If she didn't know better she would think he'd fallen back asleep. 

This temptation to join him was...overwhelming. 

She felt nobody in her shoes would blame her. Sure, this dating a giant turtle thing wasn't new, anymore, but it was young. Their one year anniversary was coming up. It hasn't always been easy, like- sure, no duh. 

But it's been one hell of a ride this past week.

The term spring fever had been something tossed at her once. She had dismissed it; innocently imagining it was something to look forward to. A week of her boyfriends undivided, perhaps obsessively possessive attention. She cringed now.

She always knew Raphael had a heart bigger than his skin. Felt it about him immediately. But this week...man, this week was- crazy.

Sometimes it was like she held everything he was, is and ever will be like it was something she could break in half at any moment.

She first noticed how affectionate he's suddenly gotten. Well- openly affectionate. Thumbing her ear and kissing her cheek infront of his brothers, going up to hug her from behind in the kitchen as if he suddenly no longer cared who saw.

She's gotten him to smile the biggest she's ever seen. Got him to laugh hard enough that it got her laughing too.

Then their argument twenty four hours later was the worst they'd ever had. And it was over...her forgetting to check in? They had both been tired. Him especially. He'd been worried and scared and an absolute jerk to her.

His apology the next day was the very first time she had ever seen him cry- watching him struggle to communicate around his immense embarrassment and guilt and frustration that he just couldn't say any of this right- God, she'd never seen it like this and her heart broke.

Then she had laid awake in shock after the best night of sex they've had yet. Her boyfriend holding her tight amidst the pillows and blankets; breathing her in slow and quiet like she was life itself. 

Rollercoaster much?

She didn't want to leave his side today. At all.

The very thought she was about to walk out of this door to sit at a desk for hours without him... This rain storm and miles of distance between them- the loneliness stung even now.

She knew he'd probably rather die than admit it. And that it was completely untrue-

But she felt he needed her; and that she needed him.

She blinked, realizing she had stopped moving to stare. At the blue and grey shadows dancing on his battered shell, at the red mask in the far corner, at the mismatched, dirty armor all around the room, the stuff he would usually be scrambling to pick up right now.

This silence, man. It grew to be too much. 

"Hey," she whispered, resting a hand on his arm and sitting at his side. "We have to go."

"...yeah."

It was whispered back. Defeated. Sad but sad like he was hiding it. Voice low and gravelly. His hazels slowly blinked open, those third eyelids making a brief and rare appearance. His breathing was forcibly even, big arms wrapped around the pillow under his head. 

The memory of how he had looked at her with shame and distress as he got out that, "I'm sorry." as if she was gonna kill him for it- it burned.

She had rushed to his rescue at the first hint of glossy eyes- pulling off his stupid mask and holding his face as she gently forgave him for snapping at her, those tears only falling. Sure he had been an asshole. But with how he kept telling her she didn't deserve any of it...it as if he was now apologizing for so much more than a stupid petty argument- the build up of fear and hope he held for this relationship was hitting him so hard it hit them both.

It had hurt like a bitch.

Her fingers now brushed the old brand on his shoulder, the old scales catching her skin as she glanced outside, biting her lip. Debating.

"Sorry, babe." he reached up to rub his eyes.  "I'll get goin'-"

"No." She decided. "No. Wait here."

He watched her leave the room, his glowing eyes twinkling in the shadows of the headboard.

It was several minutes before she was back in the room, Raph's expression puzzled.

Afraid to break the rainy silence, she slowly took out her earings instead. 

His silver eyes narrowed, their connected gaze never wavering. But when she hunched to pull off her socks- man, watching his expression drop like, "No way, is she really-?" It was like watching sunlight break through clouds. 

She smiled, walking to his side of the bed as she began to unbutton her shirt. 

The bed creaked horribly under his weight as Raph pulled his legs under himself, reaching to help her. "Are you serious?"

Those eyes, like, c'mon- "Don't look at me like that," she whispered, his sweet smile too contagious. 

"Are ya gonna get in trouble cuz' of this?" 

"A little," she sighed. "Don't expect it every year, okay?"

"Okay."

"What are you going to tell your brothers?"

"To go fuck themsel-"

"Raph." She snapped. 

"I'll text them in a second." Raph tossed aside the bra, pulling her in bed to help with her dress pants. "I'm kinda busy."

"It needs to be soon," she glanced outside, struggling to help him. "They'll be worried-"

The kiss was as humble and thankful as much as it was insistent and hungry- but it isn't often she felt him smile into a kiss.

[batboyblog]

Things I like about Tumblr, 2022

first off, Tumblr isn't perfect, it's full of people, and people in general and on-line can be pretty crap, but in a rare move for me I'm looking at the good.

you are not expected to post under your own name/face. In fact people would think you were pretty freaking weird if you did. To the Best of my knowledge only one person posts under their own name with their face as a profile pic, Hi Neil Gaiman! If we keep this up Tumblr will not become a semi-work space like twitter

No one knows your follower count (and honestly you shouldn't know it either) The level of brain rot I see on twitter around having a big follower count is so embarrassing, "help me get to X million!" is so very cringe, much like blue checks its a meaningless thing and we're all better off not knowing who's "popular" there are popular posts not people.

I have a very popular post about the long term nature of Tumblr so I won't go too much into it other than to say that it's nice that we can have long term jokes and memes on here, because we're able to reblog things from the past without any shame and judgement and so a culture and in jokes and yearly (or weekly) events happen here in a way I don't see on more "now! now! now!" social media.

You can do whatever, linking to #1 because we're not a semi-professional webpage where people are selling their "brand" etc there's little to no pressure (outside of yourself) to stay on topic or theme, you can and should reblog that gif set of a funny show from 10 years ago, that moody art shot of a field before a storm, and that short video of puppies falling over, wild out.

You decide if people see your likes. How many times did people get busted for having porn in their Twitter likes, where here no one can judge you, again we're not a work space so if you like that picture of a man in jock strap, go for it reblog that shit, but if you're shy don't worry you can enjoy what you enjoy without having to share with the class.

We hate crypto, we hate NFT, we always have we always will and thats very sexy of us

you can (still) say what you like. The need to make platforms safe for advisors and influencers has lead to "unalive" and other ways to try to get around using bad words. On Tumblr I can say that Elon Musk sucks a whole bucket of monkey shit and I hope he's pushed down the stairs at Twitter HQ.

Tags my beloved, tags are funny, lovely cool little notes, a way to add a joke, say something heart felt etc without worrying "is this needed?" and guess what if the answer was "yes it was" someone will screen shot them and add them to the post for you, win win.

Long form thought, I know this is a semi-jokey list but like no joking I think having all our politicians, journalists and "thought leaders" spending all day on and mainly communicating through a webpage with a very small character limit was/is very bad for our society. Tumblr (as you can see) you can write an essay (I don't think those people should come here, but I never run out of characters)

there's nowhere better for formatting gifs or picture sets, I honestly can't imagine trying to post a series of gifs or pictures on Insta or Twitter and having them all folded up rather than laid out in order all visible at once (and not cropped down, well most of the time)

There's no algorithm, everyone says it but it needs to be on the list, there's no real hand holding pushing you to this or that, there's nothing boosting or hiding your post, you pick what you like and follow it, and then those blogs do something weird and different and thats chill and you keep on.

we're the gay trans sex website, pretty much no where else on-line can you find this much dumb, non sequitur queer humor or as supportive of the trans experience, yes there are TERFs but they are more fringe here than basically any where else.

we just don't matter, back to #1 we are not a place where you can market yourself or your brand or whatever, as such things are just not that serious, this is a social media website made for fun, to enjoy TV, books, and movies mainly but really whatever you do enjoy.

negative I'd like to address before I go, the on-going porn ban, I'm not in favor of porn itself on here, I don't think we need gif sets of studio porn or whatever. But once Tumblr was a safe space for a lot of queer performers to spread their self made work. It also was a safe space for Queer art, both photographic and drawn, to express sensuality and sexuality. And a safe space for Queer artists to draw art of characters totally fucking the shit out of each other. It was a place where enjoyment of the human form and sexuality could be mixed with all the other parts of life as normal. There were for sure problems, however in an ever more censored and sex negative world I think a freed Tumblr is more needed than ever, so I hope we figure that out soon.

[captainseamech]

//I mentioned a few days ago that I had some things going through my mind and that I was building up courage to tell you guys that and... I think this is finally the appropriate time for such. It's nothing against anyone here, I promise you that. It's more about myself, really.

This post is written with small text font to make it faster to read (since I typed a lot), but if you want me to leave it all on a regular font feel free to tell me so and I'll fix it. And if there's any misspelling or grammatical error bear with me since I do be a bit sick still and... I might fix later (if I remember to do it) so my English might be worse than ever in this post. I'm sorry in advance.

.... for the past couple days since New Years hit us in the face I've seen my mutuals just... moving blogs and all that to start fresh aside from ships, relationships and the like and honestly, that kind of motivated me to do such since I'm... frankly unhappy with how this blog is looking recently, but I'm also in quite a big dilemma since I hate making choices and I wanted to be more open with you guys for a moment. Again, I've been thinking deeply on whether making this post or not but I think it will be worth it in the end (or I just wasted some of my time typing, who knows.)

On one hand it'd make me feel better and refreshed to move from here, starting with a theme, carrd and all that fancy stuff; especially with a better organization of my tags from the beginning since I feel my tags are... all over the place as of currently in comparison to my other blogs; as well as I'd have a way better sense of making my verses since I just... well, kind of hoarded lots of them with some that I barely dont use (if not straight up abandoned behind one starter call and/or headcanon post since I made them specific to one 'dead' fandom or whatnot). And also that I, somehow, get some quite mean/meaningful intended anons here for things that I did or not so hopefully moving places would make them disappear or even just appease them.

But on the other hand... this blog of mine has so much memories!! This is my oldest blog (November 2017!!) on this website, old peeps that were mutuals with me that still lurks in my followers list because the good times!! I had with them in the past!! before my hiatus are just!!!! And like, recently a few old mutuals of mine have been coming back to this site on a way or another with their older tumblr blog, or even just!! Keeping them there!! For the memories!! I put so much hard work on this blog and my writing over the years, especially with Cat (@/faultfindingfirebot) being such an old mutual of mine and developing our characters together!! All the memories with that ship is just!! Lurking here!! Everything is here!! With a simple mouse scroll through their blog tag!!

I know that moving blogs doesn't necessarily mean having to delete this blog, but still!! All the memories (even the cringe ones) are here and I just!! Don't want to lose this treasure y'know? I started on tumblr with this blog and I hoped to die on this hill still here! Maybe I'm just unnecessarily being emotional over this clusterfuck of a messy blog, but still! There's development from both me and the way I write my character with so much joy and not carrying much about fancyness! But apparently fancyness has become a major point in every rpc, to the point of really making me feel legitimately scared and/or hesitant to approach because some writers really despise mobile writers somehow... and it doesn't do wonders to my anxiety honestly.

So... Again, it might sound stupid of me to be emotional over this blog instead of quickly moving on like normal people should but as I mentioned repeatedly before... The memories that lures around this blog are one of the most important things that I could've asked for and this is why I'm opening up to you guys because I want to establish more communication with my mutuals publicly since I always sucked at keeping a stable conversation with each and everyone.

I reckon it might sound straight up weird for me to feel attached and just not do it like a normal person would and move blogs already without letting one's mind out but... I really, really cant help it at all. And I just couldn't stop it from happening too, even though I tried my best to avoid it. But scrolling back on this blog sometimes to see all the good and bad things me and High Tide has gotten through is just... developmentally nostalgic in a way, and sometimes I like to relive the old times no matter how cringe it seemed with both new and old time mutuals.

TL;DR: Should I just stop whining around and move on to try new experiences or stay here where I always belonged?