#( look it works because i say so damn it )
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kageyama tobio | haikyuu
reference photo: link to the japanese website
model: Ran Takahashi, photo shot by 矢島康弘 (Yasuhiro Yajima i think)

#my art#kageyama tobio#haikyuu#to continue my thoughts from the previous post#look. i used to ship kagehina HARD. i still find them cute. i still find a lot of other haikyuu ships cute#but when i see people *seriously* saying that “everyone in this anime is incredibly gay” i feel so damn confused#the main reason i love haikyuu is precisely because it doesn't have any ambiguous male-on-male fanservice like “free” cough cough#and i feel uncomfortable when i see a huge amount of people scream GAY at every nice interaction between men#but obviously everyone is free to interpret a work of art the way they want#it'll be a cold day in hell when i tell someone they have no right to interpret a work of art a certain way because it's “unethical”#this was just some food for thought#thanks for coming to my ted talk#traditional illustration#pencil illustration#hq
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I've never done a poll before, so good luck
Who do y'all think Time'll handcuff to him be with for his group in the dungeon? I've seen a lot of people say he will try to control who goes with who since he's scared for their lives rn (valid)
The options are the individual boys, just go with who you think is most likely to be in his group I guess?
Anyways like I said I've never done a poll so it might be messed up or make no sense, should be fun :D
Let me know if this doesn't work. And yes I know it's not well organised.. it's ok. right?
I think that unlike when they split in the Divine Dark Reflections arc, they might try to stay in bigger groups, and I think Time would probably want to have as many close to him as possible (his group have three or four), but I uhh didn't know how to incorporate that.
It's silly, but right now I can't stop imagining a scene where they reach the central room and everyone sprints off into the groups they want before time can argue.
Anyone who goes with legend will survive physically and anyone who goes with four will survive mentally.
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#just. scatter thoughts it's fine#I never thought I would think this but Wild might end up as the most mentally stable in a group if he's with time or twi#I struggled to find and say a reason for hyrule but. he's important ok. a very powerful magic cave boy#looking forward to legend stepping up since time is out of it and wars will walk in the wrong direction half the time#<a prev tag I wanted to include#this poll should be done in time for us to be proven wrong in the next update! :D#this is terribly put together and that's ok... right? yeah...#tell me if it doesn't work!! I don't know what I'm doing! :DD#I haven't posted in a bit because damn yall#I was waking up to so many hundreds notifications a day#I waited till it's died down a bit but I'm counting on this post to get five notes max#except I have no idea how polls work. lol#sorry my words are terrible I can't even tell rn. is 'most probably' proper grammar? if not that is not fair
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really not loving the way intellectually and physically disabled people keep being used as shields against criticism of the way in which companies implement incomplete and dishonest ai
#'it makes things accessible! do you hate accessibility???'#cool i dont respect anything you have to say about the topic because you are missing the point#i do not want companies praying on individuals looking for tools to help them read or create art!#who are then sold a janky model which has to be actively corrected by overseas workers and is Also sucking up power#like a damn hoover#also no you dont get a pass for using a tool that harvests uncredited images from other artists bc of your fuckin cerebal palsy#thats not how that works!#'oh the technology isnt there yet but itll get better'#genuinely why would you release an unfinished product to the public that has been documented hallucinating information constantly#if not for pure profit#they dont want to spend the years itll take making it a viable product so why should i fucking use it#why read an essay you couldnt be bothered to write why buy art you couldnt be bothered to make
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Wanna ramble about a moment/character in ninjago you think people need to talk about more?
I don't know who you are anon, but I'm glad you asked!
I am desperate for people to character-analyze Wu. I'm desperate for a lot of character analysis including Nya but since I got a lot of my Nya feelings out with some lovely folks the other night (edit: the other night was a month ago dw about it. this took a minute) I'm going with Wu this time
Master Wu to me is such an interesting case of a character who it is so easy to ignore the bits of the show that hint at his wider issues and traumas. He is a man defined heavily by his family and by his past. A lot of criticism he gets, I think, is due in part to that.
I've mentioned before that I've been rewatching S1 with a friend of mine and intermittently pausing to infodump on them about interesting character things I notice from that season. A lot of that has been Wu-focused because despite having seen RotS dozens of times throughout my life (watching it on CN, watching it on Netflix when only it and Legacy were around, rewatching it with friends) I have only just started noticing the seeds of character written in.
I might also just be reading too much into things, but hear me out
In S1 (and by extension, the pilots), Wu is characterized as your typical old wise teacher. In the first few minutes of EP1: Rise of the Snakes, he is chewing out the Ninja for playing video games instead of training. The line he uses? "Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today."
It's a line that gets repeated throughout the series. In fact, it gets repeated that very episode when the ninja go (pun not intended) to fight the Hypnobrai and a literal pre-teen. At first, it seems to just be a piece of wisdom. Some old proverb Wu's picked up over the years, possibly one he even coined himself. However, in EP7: Tick Tock, Wu tells the story of who, possibly, first told him this.
(Source: Tick Tock/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom, highlight added.)
It was Garmadon. Now, I'm not gonna dwell too long on Garmadon, if you spend five minutes talking to me you'll learn he was the first character whose story I obsessed over and I want this essay to be about Wu, but I think he plays a role in Wu's overall story, as does Wu's family as a whole.
Prior to this, Wu and Garmadon's relationship has been more of a sibling rivalry taken to a good vs. evil extreme. We didn't know why Garmadon was evil and we didn't know about Wu and his relationship as kids. However, this scene establishes the backstory. They were, as Wu puts it, "the best of friends." That is, until Garmadon gets bit by the Devourer going to get the katana Wu lost.
Now, I know the Devourer bite was destined to happen because of the Overlord or some shit, but Wu doesn't. As far as he's concerned, Garmadon getting bit was a direct consequence of both his mistake and his cowardice. He lost the katana. He was too scared to get it. Garmadon went over instead. Garmadon got bit.
The scene goes on to show the FSM tending to Garmadon in the aftermath. Wu is watching from behind the door, likely told to stay back, but concerned. And in his POV, we get this intense moment, where Garmadon turns, looks directly at him (his eyes turning bright red for the first time), and says "It's all Wu's fault!"
(This clip should begin at the start of Wu eavesdropping. If it doesn't, skip to 0:58. I highly recommend also paying attention to Wu's body language during this scene.)
The camerawork does a great job of showing how this probably felt for Wu. It zooms in, Garmadon's voice echoes, and the background blurs. We see in the flashback that this is a moment Wu has etched into his memory. Not to mention, he was likely a very young child when this happened. LEGO characters' ages are weird, but Wu in this scene has the Big Eyes, which always seem to be used for characters under 12. We don't know exactly how much older Garmadon is to my knowledge, but he doesn't have the Big Eyes, so he's probably closer to 12 and a few years older than Wu for sure.
Imagine that. Being in elementary school and your older siblings gets hurt. They're acting strange. They're lashing out at your father. Then, they blame it all on you. They're hurt because of you. Wouldn't you internalize that?
I could go on about Wu's relationship with Garmadon, but again, I think I've spent enough time on it and I don't want to only focus on that. It's an important part, but there are others.
Let's talk about Wu's relationship with his dad.
Now, I have not yet read the Spinjitzu Brothers series. I cannot speak to any development of Wu and the FSM's relationship in there. I have, however, read The Book of Spinjitzu and blogged some of my thoughts on it here, including some of what it says about Wu.
For those who haven't read it, first, there is a Google Drive folder floating around with all of the canon spinoff books/graphic novels in it. Here's the link if you wanna read them!
The FSM is an... intriguing figure. I mean, in the series he's basically god? He made the entire world. That's already a very high bar to live up to. Then, in Book of Spinjitzu, there's a few specific parts that, when I read them, signaled that Wu internalized a specific message when he was young.
(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 3).
Wu does not want to disappoint his father. It is up to him (and Garmadon until he turns evil) to "uphold the legacy of Spinjitzu" and, by extension, his family. He says he was "very young" when this was explained to him. Considering he seems to already be training at an elementary age, "very young" means VERY young.
(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 16).
Here, we again see Wu being very aware that he has some large burden to carry. Something else interesting here is that the thought of the Green Ninja Prophecy is already weighing on him too. His considering if he might be the Green Ninja is of extra interest because of how the Green Ninja Prophecy and the--I wouldn't call it obsession, possibly fixation?--with who it is factors into his later actions, but we'll get to that later.
(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, Page 19).
This one in particular gets me because it comes after Wu mentions Garmadon becoming more evil. It is a statement of power. Wu knows that the legacy of Spinjitzu now rests in his hands alone. He cannot let himself fall the way Garmadon did. He cannot disappoint his father. Whether or not the FSM intended it, Wu always knew the fate of the world rested, at least in part, upon his shoulder. He knew this from the time he was a young boy and it remains in his mind to this day.
Now, these quotes are indirect, but they all point to one clear idea: As a child, Wu internalized the idea that he alone is responsible for keeping Ninjago safe. He will play a pivotal role in its history.
There's not evidence in this book that the FSM's was a bad father, per se. However, just because one doesn't set out to harm their children, doesn't mean they won't. I often say Wu has an "Atlas complex," which I have no idea if it is an actual concept but use it to refer to this idea. Wu feels as though he is responsible for holding up the world, much like Atlas. He must keep the balance, he must solve the Green Ninja prophecy, he must make his father proud.
(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, page 61).
I'm going to get further into what this means for Wu as a teacher to the current Ninja Team, but for now let's look at Wu's first foray into teaching.
Morro. Wu's Biggest Mistake.
That might seem like an overstatement, but it's not.
(Source: Ghost Story/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom)
Okay he says regret, not mistake, but I was paraphrasing.
Let's turn back to his quote about his destiny. Wu writes, "Is my life's mission to be the Green Ninja? Or maybe it will be to find the Green Ninja and protect him (or her)??"
From a very young age, Wu was not only aware of the Green Ninja but prophecy but also thinking about his place in it. We see this again when he takes Morro in and trains him.
(Source: Ghost Story/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom, highlight added)
A big thing Wu is criticized for here is making Morro believe he is meant to be more. That he is the Chosen One. And Morro, being a young homeless orphan just now given some semblance of power and protection, latches onto that. And I can see it, but when you take into account the above that he was trained from (likely) a younger age than Morro and given a similar level of responsibility, it becomes more understandable. Wu is just doing what he was taught. He doesn't believe that he is harming Morro until it is too late.
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This is the entire story, but I'm specifically going to be discussing 1:36 onwards here. I also wanted to add that rewatching this scene made me lay down on the floor! What the fuck! But I digress.
There's a lot going on in this scene. For one, Wu washing his hands of Morro in some ways, but not others. He turns his back on Morro when he tells him that destiny has decided, but looks at him again when Morro storms out. He goes to save Morro from the Grundal, but decides that he cannot "teach those who would not listen." Most importantly, when Morro leaves to go find the Tomb of the FSM, Wu leaves the door open. He waits for Morro to return, but never goes after him. And Morro never comes back.
Wu gives Morro's fate a dismissive response at the end of his ghost story ("I am saddened he was banished to the Cursed Realm") but it's clear he still cares deeply about him in the finale of the season.
youtube
Wu's VA in this is phenomenal btw. That "Please Morro!" and "MORRO!" make my heart ache.
Morro believed Wu stopped caring, but he didn't. Even after all he's done, even after trying to destroy all of Ninjago--destroying what Wu had spent his life trying to protect--Wu tries to save him. He begs for Morro to come with him. Morro refuses, Wu watches him perish.
Someone else Wu is close to is gone. Wu again considers himself responsible. Everything is his fault.
And finally, we reach Wu today. A cautious, secretive man. He loves his students, this much is clear. Even as early as the pilots, he drops his wise teacher persona to joke around with them.
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As with Morro, he trains them like his father did him. He even uses the same methods his father used when he trains them.
(Source: The Book of Spinjitzu, page 32)
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While he is hard on the Ninja, wanting them to succeed and training them to help defend the Realm, he lets his guard down more than it seems he did with Morro. He also learned a valuable message from his experience with Morro when he hides the Green Ninja Prophecy from the Ninja, getting angry when they start to push themselves in the same way Morro did upon learning about it. It's clear he doesn't want a repeat.
Now, I can't speak for later seasons (I will eventually) but this fear of repeats, his students going down a dark path because they're tempted by power or greatness, losing someone else, likely drives Wu not telling them other important information. That is just a passing thought though.
Final notes:
I'm currently in the process of rewatching S7: Hands of Time. I actually got this ask right after finishing EP68: Scavengers, which opens with Wu having a nightmare. In it, he and Misako are walking outside of Yang's temple. While walking, Misako delivers this line in response to Wu reminiscing about the time they've spent together:
(Source: Scavengers/Transcript | Ninjago Wiki | Fandom)
This line, to me, is Wu's subconscious trying to tell him something he needs to hear. It's hinting at what might be his greatest flaw. Wu is haunted by his past, by his mistakes. He finds it difficult to tell others because of both his guilt and his desire to not put that worry upon them. In this very season, he makes the mistake of trying to face his past on his own, and he nearly dies for it.
In the same episode, you see Wu trying to make sure Lloyd doesn't make the same mistakes.
(Source: Prev)
Wu stresses the important of the team. It's as if he sees Lloyd blaming himself for what happened to Wu, sees him doing the same thing Wu has, and is trying to prevent him from doing the same thing. This is further emphasized when, after Wu falls asleep (well, fakes falling asleep), Lloyd says "Wu's mistake was going in alone. So was mine."
Master Wu is, like many characters in this show, someone who is more complex than meets the eye. He is not just a wise, old teacher. He is a man who, throughout his life, has made mistakes and carries the weight of each of them on his shoulders. He is a man who tasks himself with making up for those every day. He is a man who wants better for his students, his family.
Until the day he dies, he will guide and protect his students. And possibly? Even after death too.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#master wu#long post#anon tag#this made my day i looooooooooooooove character analysis#i know a lot of what i post about it may not encompass the full series but i just think that makes it more fun tbh#i'm working with what i have and later i may come back to this and add even more things#i'm also very passionate about wu analysis as a former wu hater because i think the fact that his character stuff is so buried#leads to a lot of the hate#Why didn't he tell the ninja things? well he told morro things and look how that turned out#he grew up believing the weight of the world was on his shoulders#in one way or another#i won't lie and say the man does not make mistakes#but like i mention in s7 when he does he is fucking haunted by them#he is not breaking the generational trauma but he is damn well making an attempt for someone who probably doesn't realize he has it#p.s i tried to add image desc to each ss to make it more accessible but if i messed it up please let me know!#i spent way too much time on this#somebody do a word count i'm curious but too tired to copy this all into docs#falls over#part 2 of this is just the dark island trilogy but i think i'm gonna wait to do that#this took so long and the words are now refusing to words#thank you for reading#i need to take a nap after writing this I feel physically spent#please enjoy another rook branded ramble disguised as a comprehensive essay#other essayists bring you professionalism and academic vibes#i scream into the void and put way too many links o7#happy birthday ninjago!!!! i finished this in honor of you hopefully it is worthy
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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Books of 2025: February Wrap-Up.
As it turns out: Rereading your own novel manuscript twice (once for the original NaNo and once for the most-current-frankendraft) dramatically slows down the Reading Published Books train, which is fine! I had fun on all fronts! And I did a bunch of knitting, too, and everything I read this month was Good, Actually :D
Photos and/or reviews linked below:
THE LANGUAGE OF THE NIGHT - ★★★★★ Essays on writing, science fiction, and fantasy! Wound up loving this, per my Le Guin Usual, had to bust out the flaggies to mark passages. My favorite chapters were "Introduction to City of Illusions" (which I must track down a copy of immediately), "Talking about Writing," "The Stalin in the Soul," and "The Stone Ax and the Muskoxen."
METAL FROM HEAVEN - ★★★★★ Y'all this was SO FUCKING GOOD. It's pitched as for fans of Gideon the Ninth and The Princess Bride, because it's about messy lesbians and one in particular's quest for revenge against the industrialist who had her entire striking family killed. Personally, I'd also throw an Arcane comp in there for the class warfare and aesthetics and weird magical substance. Significant review linked, PLEASE go check this out, it was very excellent.
ODD THOMAS - ★★★★ Reread, to go with my own manuscript-rereading (this book was an Inspiration for my project, as was WtNV). I still love Odd so much. Fucked up, weird, funny, tragic book--if you've ever been curious about Koontz, try this one.
WHEN WOMEN WERE BIRDS - ★★★½ Received this in my nature writing subscription box, started it without meaning to on a random Tuesday, accidentally read the first three chapters because it sucked me in. Parts of this REALLY hit right for me and parts of it were just Meh--definitely depended on the particular Variation on Voice. The opening chapter is the author receiving her mother's journals, collected over a lifetime, and they're all blank. If you like memoirs, and feminism, and environmentalism, and birds, and writing, and Mormonism, or any combination thereof, check this out! Short little book, does neat stuff with white space.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½, which is really only applicable for me at ★★★ and up). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2025#books#the language of the night#ursula k. le guin#metal from heaven#august clarke#odd thomas#dean koontz#when women were birds#terry tempest williams#also. just realizing.#it was both the le guin book AND the williams book that referenced abortion and roe v wade.#which. hits significantly differently in this the year 2k25.#ouch lmfao#anyway! i really did read all good things this month!! just. slowly.#and my own nano wasn't actually bad tbh#and my own frankendraft actually has pretty damn good spots#and i think i have IDENTIFIED WHERE IT FALLS APART#and i think i KNOW HOW TO FIX IT#we're having a great reading month all around it just. doesn't look like it on the shelf lol#i really did mean to put the binder and the nano notebooks next to the books for photo purposes but i forgor#(also i say frankendraft affectionately but. girl she's a mess.)#(it's like. partially a polished fourth draft but 2/3 a messy third. and it's all in one manuscript currently (printed))#(i threw in the towel at a weird spot of revisions back in [TIMEPOINT REDACTED] so i'm left with a messy in between draft)#(it is. fitting. because the working title is IN BETWEEN.)
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Okay, let me transcribe *exactly* word for word what I wrote down in my journal for you all (Again, bear in mind that my bestie and I have NOT finished the game yet, so this isn't the full list, I will be adding more):
(The whole dialogue exchange between Henry and Brenner when Henry's getting his tattoo touched up and calls Brenner a parasite because *chef's kiss*)
Orange for Lunch??
Freedom in mind void to ability suppression
Windows
Russian Spies?
Losing Control of the hivemind?
Eleven makes him emotional?
Control over the hivemind is fickle?
"Creepy Henry" by the other kids
Mind Flayer bullies him
Using the hivemind to hunt for Eleven
"Obsession is how you love"
Eating dinner away from the rest of the family as a child
Comic books
Eggs?
Flies around like Spider-Man with the vines
Corpses = Trophies
Spiders = Muse
Mind Flayer communicates to Henry with Brenner's voice
"Most human thing about him" is feeling time
"Tied down like your mother" ??
Physically inside brains?
Obsession with the past
Obsession the only way he can connect
Influence only goes as far as the corruption
Ants? Spiders eat ants?
Chapter 2 says November 1983
Mind Flayer wants to devour everything
Will the key
Chapter 3 The Possession of Will Byers
Vecna in communication with Will
Manipulates Will's memories?
"I understand you more than anybody else"
Can possess technology?
Sows seeds of doubt
"You'll finally matter to someone, Will"
Fascinated by environment (nerd)
Mind Flayer absorbs Henry's memories
Studies Henry
Brenner said he'd take the chip out
Stole some of the Flayer's power?
Mind Flayer is a DICK
Keeps escaping Mind Flayer's influence
Rewarded for hurting things
Saw Eleven like a sister - "Alice"
Eleven was the "replacement?"
Mind Flayer deadass pulls out a "rate your emotions" chart
Henry corrupts the Upside Down
We stopped in the middle of the memory nexus loop since the headset was dying and it was getting late, but that's what I've written down so far. I'll update this once we finish the game and then maybe come up with a more comprehensive analysis post.
#as you can tell my train of thought is interesting#the notes don't accurately portray the wide array of thoughts I had but I tried#i'm so excited to finish the game but it likely won't be for a couple days because 'somebody' has shit to do apparently#i'd have written down more visual details but the stream feed was like looking at a damn mosaic picture it was so grainy#also here's where i'm gonna choose to praise jcb's voice work becayse GYAT#sir you did not need to say some of those lines the way you did this shit's gonna get clipped so hard#i'm upset that i got butterflies so much#anyways#fishgills speaks#anonymous asks#stranger things#stranger things vr#st vr#stranger things vr game#st vr spoilers#stranger things vr spoilers#stranger things spoilers#henry creel
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alright i'm back
some shitpost (even if this took 3+ hours to make)
vargas by @zarla-s
also credits to mysillycomics on twt (that one ".... peach time ah so sorry" pic)
#sunny's art#zarla s#edgar vargas#vargas#this took so long and it doesn't make any sense because this is something simple#jake#i love jake so much man#like i keep saying this everyday but i just love him#and drawing him is so much fun too#i have a bunch of ideas about things like this but i don't really have time to draw them#drawing the blood stains on his face like “poor man”#also i drew him with his glasses at first and then i remembered he didn't have them#alright umm#damn poor man#also i know that this is the first time they've actually met on the fanfic but i don't care#they have done so many things but they don't know it#i honestly love them so much#i really like this ship#ohhhh jake#jake is so dreamy#giggling and kicking my legs#what a nice man honestly#i don't know how tumblr works#would it be weird if i said this actually made me feel kind of sad#idk just edgar looks so tired then he finds jake and he feels a bit better almost immediately#man i love jake#i really really really love him#i just realized i forgot the bandage on his neck ughhhh ughhhh
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Additional game card art!
#pixel art#pixelart#ref#indie game#indie#card game design#card games#mbti#mbti types#mbti personalities#Ello! I finished my course. Can't lie not much has changed since I was on it... But I appreciate my free time more now??#What you're looking at above is 64 of the cards from the game I'm makin. They are all programmed in and done. I've done another 32 since.#You may recognize the bottom row as elves from beasties of greenhollow. They aren't as central to the story#But I frankly adore the game mechanic they provide. I don't think any card game has done what they do#Flatmate loves when I give him a new version to test. He will sit and experiment with every deck I've made#I've taken a little break from it. We went to Amsterdam together a week ago and loved it. Well in hindsight anyway.#I was frankly stressing out about every little thing. But I got some nice photos.#First time organizing a holiday with a friend... that wasn't just to Arran. We did that and it was miserable. sorry.#Really it was only because of the state I was in emotionally. But also there isn't a lot to do there.#I recently got back to walking. I took a break over winter because my shoes got DEMOLISHED from so much use.#And I had to use my backup ones. Today I walked for 3 hours and felt damn good after. I might get even fitter this year.#Work hours are down. I'm doing okay though. Frankly I want more time to work on this game.#ALSO I SAW NELWARD LIVE!!! I was so fucking excited. He signed my record sleeve. I'm kind of collecting them.#It's far more of a “normal” hobby to collect records than digimon cards or japanese ps1 games. Maybe I'm growing up????#I'm really proud of what this is forming into. The story is forming up and it's linking everything together beautifully.#I just need to actually finish it. I've proven with BoG that I can actually finish what I start and I'm really proud of myself#But it turned out far less than I wanted it to be. I'm not at liberty to say what went wrong but let's just say I'm glad I'm solo for this.#I'm eating a good bit better too. Until amsterdam I stayed off sugar for like almost a month#Not too much to complain about. I am content
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Silence his demons and you'll hear his angels sing.

#you know#if I wasn't into kreon I'd say Krauser could have been Leon's dad#especially when I look at a curates photo like this#I feel like the handsomnesd in their traits is so easily similar#look at those lips and tell me they don't ressemble ID!Leon#the blond hair and light blue eyes are a non brainer of course#especially when you give even more special attention to the fact Krauser have a stead long mane for his age#which speaks of very good hair genes#what else Ah the defined cheekbones 🥺#so they won't be having the same nose? well I guess I can work with that#they don't need to be carbon copies#damn... handsome men attract handsome men I guess#krauser is definetly a hot specimen of a men much like Leon because of this#and this make think I don't even know if I could handle a young version of him#.... holy shit... a spin off centered around Krauser's...!!!#resident evil#jack krauser
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What did I decide to do as I’m waiting for the new episode of The Pitt to drop? I decided to rewatch the episode of ER where Carter and Kem loses their baby… because I hate myself apparently…
Me every time I watch that episode:

#Nicole watches stuff#Nicole watches ER#now I’m watching the episode where Jing Mei gives birth to like full the ache of the other episode#but it also made me sad because he’s so good with her during her labour and he looks so happy to be there to support her#even if he’s tired he’s great#and then I thought about the way he had to be strong for Kem as she was giving birth even when his heart was breaking#they really did say fuck you Carter to him a lot huh#lost his brother when he was a child his parents were absent especially his mum#his family isn’t super happy that he’s a doctor even when that is clearly his dream#then he loses his grandparents who seemed to be more like his parents than his parents#then he gets stabbed and his colleague/friend dies and he blames himself#he gets addicted to drugs and is sent to rehab he later has a relapse although he throws the pills up it’s still a relapse#he goes to Congo during a war and that whole thing takes a toll on him#then he goes back to get Luka’s body and goes on a quest but that at least has a happy ending because he finds him alive#then he loses his unborn child his girlfriend leaves#then he leaves the show ofc to be with her#and when he gets back he’s back because he needs a kidney transplant because the only kidney that was working is shutting down#he gets the transplant which is ofc good but he didn’t feel like he could call his damn wife to tell her about it#because they’re on their way to a divorce even if he doesn’t want that#she then shows up at the opening of the medical center named after their son and he thinks that there is still hope for them#but she kind of turns him down and it’s like???#give my boy a break Jesus Christ!#I don’t even know if I remembered everything…#anyway looking forward to most likely be emotionally devastated by the Pitt in like an hour 🥳
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age
#like when i have to talk to ppl my age irl they sound old af 😭 and im like are they old or just actual adults?#like i know when to act mature but when in the same age group i feel like i should have my adult voice on#like a customer service voice but more casual???#like for this get together i’m fear i might be one of the youngest ppl there besides like the children of everyone else 💀 like i can go#can’t***#hangout w them and later ima go see my friends and it’s more relaxed but it’s not like we talk about random shit#like we don’t listen to the same music watch the same shows or movies anymore#or they say oh i don’t have time for that or i don’t watch/listen to that many more#????? what do you do? and they’re not on social media besides fb or twt#like unfortunately i’m part of the chronically online 💀💀💀 but i can’t just be like oh im knitting this or crocheting that because that’s my#old lady hobbie i picked up in hs and they were like that’s old ppl shit#they talk about work but i find that so boring idc about what i do everyday that shit stays the same 😭#like it’s interesting to listen to them because i don’t do it but my job it’s same day in day out#and if we talk about fitness it ends up at oh i gained some weight or i lost x amount that means i can have a xyz and not care ….#we are mid to late twenties when tf did you get heartburn 😭 and wtf is that ??? i’ve heard about it but what do you mean??? when did that#start??? like yeah old bones and body aches but damn another meme post about it 😭 stop#like what did i miss when did i stop looking where did yall learn all this#at this point i think im just immature#like my random shit is gonna be ceo/luigi and sk then what i can’t bring up rap kpop spotify wrapped anime my excitement for some local yarn#how i don’t think lady gaga is a good actress or that im lowkey upset about the wicked movie#or that there’s gonna be an american psycho remake like they’re not gonna care#and i can’t be like tf is an appetizer ? that isn’t just restaurant and tv show shit ?#I CANT TELL THEM ABIUT MY PERIOD SHOES I FEEL LIKE THEYRE TONNABNOT LAUGH#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain#progress maybe complain about grocery prices 😭😭😭#omfg wtf am i supposed to where to the get together with appetizers FUCK#is it chill to go in shorts and a tshirt ????? i’m sure they know we’re the ones smoking outside they can just assume i’m too chill#let’s hope someone has a baby and i can distract them w my ability to somehow charm babies 😭😭😭😭#omg what if their kids are blaming us for the weed smell !?? like imma not narc but i’ve seen them out there too#like idk if they’re college age but i don’t think they’re open about it and im the freak taking walks past midnight 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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