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Bat's first agere journal entry!
A sticker chart to help me brush my teeth :3
#bat.#journal.#alt agere#age regression#age regressor#agere#agere blog#goth agere#sfw agere#agere journal#trans agere#agere community#safe agere#sfw age regression
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Amazing week. Stopped being depressed long enough to actually do things I enjoy- crazy that if you ignore your interests it just makes things worse. Got a 102 on a Greek exam I thought I did poorly on. Meaningfully engaged in every class discussion and took notes on every assigned paper and video. Put a video assigned for class on instead of background music at work and was able to focus on both. Watched some of the most emotionally devastating horror movies I’ve ever seen and enjoyed them a lot. Then listened to some of the most emotionally devastating episodes ttrpg shows I’ve ever heard. And enjoyed them a lot. Did NOT stick the landing and spent all of today lazing around and missing important appointments. I’ll do better tomorrow.
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A small post to say that my last post may be my last big piece for a while and that I'll be busy for an indefinite amount of time. Thank you guys so much for your support! Please wish me luck as I deal with some big life changes and all that. And please, my moots, have even more patience with me as I don't know how available I'll be. Ik I've been lacking in that department already, so thank you for your patience thus far. orz
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Jacksepticeye playing Until Dawn: Boy the game is really climaxing right now-
my sister and i:
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RECEIVING GIFTS
Gift-giving in her family was never a love language; She was always handed a card to buy what she wanted, even if there wasn’t a celebration. Momi found it hard to comprehend when her peers received gifts on special occasions; every gift almost always came with a card. At some point, Momi noticed how close friends would treat her differently when asked, “Did your mom gift you the limited edition bag? You’re so lucky. Did she surprise you?” and she’d answer, “No, I bought it with her card. Why would she surprise me? She doesn’t have time to shop for me. I shop for myself, which is easier, in my opinion.” The more she answered, the more friends gradually distanced themselves until she was left isolated.
“Her family is rich, but why does she act like she’s better than everyone else?” Laughter bounced off each girl as another joined in. “I know, right? I pity her.” The conversation was loud enough for her to hear as she hummed happily by them, but the sinkhole grew slowly inside her as the years passed.
(PRESENT) Momi scattered about in Dolce & Gabbana, glancing at the new collection of handbags, fragrances, and shoes. A wonderful day to be alive, Momi pointed at multiple materialist items as workers gathered everything at the counter, ready to be placed in bags. “May I have that one in pink?” She set her phone down on the counter to inspect the bag for any impurities, ignoring the multiple chimes and carefully returning the bag before reaching for her phone. “I’ll take…”
SNS: Someone is going to deliver it to your place in about 2 hours.
The scream she emitted shook the store after reading a single message, running full speed at the glass doors while workers followed closely behind. There was no time; traffic would play a big factor in reaching her destination—Momi heaved, pausing abruptly, almost forgetting how much she loathed running.
Waving down a taxi was much easier with luxury bags dangling from her arms, an easy tip for the driver whom she’d order to press on the gas as his life depended on it. Momi aggressively crawled out of the taxi, heading straight for the elevator as she waited impatiently for the number to reach her floor. “Why is it moving so slowly?” Momi tapped her foot until the elevator stopped on her floor, rushing out before the doors had fully opened and rushing to her apartment–slowing down to say hello, then returning to her original pace.
Once inside, Momi launched the bags across the living room floor, refusing to move from her spot as she faced the door with heavy breaths and very little movement. “It should be here any moment.” She stood in that position for an hour, awaiting the delivery man. The minute his shadow caught the attention of her door camera, Momi nearly ripped the door from its hinges. “Sign here? Thank you!”
The packaging was beautiful (the packaging was cardboard), but her eyes scanned every inch of the packaging. It was finally here, the bag she had waited six months for, and the tension grew as she set it down carefully on her coffee table. Momi stared at the box until her shaky fingers dared to open it, grasping the velvety protection that held the purse of her dreams, and her first set of tears began to fall.
Momi was speechless the minute her eyes settled on the custom bag, flawlessly stitched with a surreal bejeweled branded heart made from pink crystals. The delicate shade of pink leather, a darker shade inside to compliment the design–tears, more tears the longer she held the purse in her hands. The waterwork show was seating only one, and Momi had been the main attraction as well as the only attendee. Hugging the purse only brought uncontrollable waterfalls, which would alarm anyone around her, but this was pure bliss that she was experiencing.
She could never thank him enough, and no words could express her gratitude for this gift. It was very special to her, and he would never know how special it was.
SNS: You’ve made me the happiest woman alive. Thank you.
She never understood the concept of receiving a gift until today. It was a wonderful day to be alive.
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i remember my innocence as a fond thing
something i try to trap and
recreate
a willful ignoring of the more
adult aspects of my mind
trying so hard to forget the awareness
that i have
so i can exist in the bliss
of
abnormality
of childlike awe & woe
( one letter off and twisted ) / zd.
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thinking about Corinth 2.0...
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12.
Sometimes I get a little lonely. Not to the point of doing something stupid or tragic, but these are the times in which I miss you most. And I allow myself to, to miss you totally. I wonder if you have passed me by. If you linger still, if you wait and watch me or if you hate my fucking guts.
But it is absolutely freezing out and I'm huddled beneath my cozy island of blankets, warm and wanting only you, even after all this time, even still.
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LOSTBELT 6: AVALON LE FAE.
i didn’t really feel like writing out a ton of drabbles for this really long really cool lostbelt so instead, i have. Lots of notes of what yako’s up to during the lostbelt. christ ive been working on this for a year and a half, my god
PREPARATION —
There are three weeks between Heian-kyo and Avalon le Fae. Under the assumption they were to be sent to South America next, Yako spends much of this time stocking up on materials she creates, like healing scrolls and ether shots; practicing her defensive spells, wards, and purification spells; and refreshing her survival skills for wilderness exploration. But, oops, it's Britain actually, good luck.
ARRIVAL — 45 DAYS REMAINING
Upon arriving in the Lostbelt, Yako is separated from the rest of Chaldea and drawn into the Nameless Forest, whereupon she is taken in by Shub (who had been enjoying the breath of fresh air the Lostbelt gave her) as a knight of the forest, still bearing her holy sword on her hip. She spends many days there, slaughtering invasive Mors that attack the edge of Shub’s forest, before she is rescued by Connla and Kama, who remind her of her true identity. She challenges Shub’s intentions, but as always, the god is inscrutable, and Yako is eventually let out of the woods without a fight.
Asked what the nature of the forest is, Connla answers it’s a forest which takes away names and lets those within it wander until they die or are killed, permanently lose themselves and go mad, or are taken in by the village in the center - where he found himself when he woke up. He tells Yako that he had been searching for her since he remembered there was someone important he was missing. Kama had been wandering nameless through the woods when Connla found them and restored their memories, as well. There has been no sign of Cú, who would experience the most tampering by this Lostbelt due to the nature of his legends.
Reunited, Connla, Kama, and Yako set out to find Chaldea and Cú.
AWAKENING — 14 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 31 DAYS REMAINING
Yako begins her search for Chaldea in a nearby town, but opts to keep their name out of her mouth, in case enemy forces are searching for them. She leaves a note at an inn on the notice board, “To 48, From 43”, reading, “I’m safe, but I need to find my hound. I have my arrows and knife with me. We’ll meet up soon, don’t worry!”
While traveling in search of Cú, Yako, Connla, and Kama have many adventures, from rescuing travelers from Mors or bandits, to recovering treasures from destroyed villages for displaced fairies, meeting strange ladies who live in lakes, slaying vicious wild beasts attacking farmers, or freeing humans trapped in fairy-made prisons. Yako makes a name for herself among the humans of this land, who wonder if she might be their very own ‘Child of Prophecy’; she rejects this notion out of hand, not because she isn’t confident in her skill, but because she rejects prophecy and destiny, and that whatever prophecy there might be about her, she wouldn’t hear about it.
While on her travels, Yako encounters Beryl infrequently, having dialogue about what it means to live life on your own terms and the nature of goodness and heroism. He attempts to mock her, but Yako is firm in her beliefs, though she adds complexity to her understanding of herself, and solidifies her answer about what being a hero means for her. Beryl seems annoyed by these answers, and draws Mors to attack her, but she and her Servants are able to put down the threat. He leaves a hint about an impending calamity at Norwich and departs before Yako can deal the finishing blow.
THE CALAMITY OF NORWICH — 26 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 19 DAYS REMAINING
Drawn by the sound of ringing bells, Yako makes her way towards Norwich, armed with Fairy-made armor and a strengthened Calesvol. Here, she meets up again with Ritsu and da Vinci as they help evacuate citizens to shelters, and then Mash as a Calamity rises from the depths of the sea.
While Mash deploys her shield to hold off the Calamity, and Ritsu engages their Command Seals to empower her, Yako makes use of a limited deployment of Calesvol; as she’s unable to unleash all of the seals in Fairy Britain, she can’t use the sword’s god-slaying abilities, but its blade is able to cut away at the grasping hands of the Norwich Calamity. They’re able to vanquish the Calamity, saving the town of Norwich, and subverting one of the Prophecies.
Just after their victory, Mash is forcibly transferred away from Norwich using Morgan’s Water Mirror, and Habetrot joins Ritsu’s expedition until the pair are reunited. Yako learns about the prophecy and Artoria’s role in it, but declines joining Ritsu’s team to meet Morgan; her current priority is finding Cú. With an anxious but resolved heart, her party departs Norwich, certain they’ll meet again soon.
CÚ-SÍDHE — 28 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 17 DAYS REMAINING
“Those who hear the howl of the cú sídhe must turn and run, or be overtaken by terror.”
Yako hears a rumor. At night, one can hear howling from the Lake District; those who hear it are doomed to die. Investigating the rumor, Yako's party ends up near Orkney, evading Knocknarea's territory to find themselves in a misty patch of woods. There, they end up at the spearpoint of a young man dressed in warrior's clothes, a wild white hound by his side...
In these woods, Yako’s party solves the mystery of the cú sídhe, recovers Cú’s memories and sword, and make their way back on the road armed with new knowledge about the nature of fairies in this Lostbelt, and the legend of a giant beast whose body makes up the island. Cú finally reaches his third Ascension, and Yako makes a promise that she’ll let him save her—that she won’t be too proud to call on him for help when she needs it.
--- END OF PART 1 ---
ON THE ROAD AGAIN — 30 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 15 DAYS REMAINING
While Ritsu has an audience with Queen Morgan, Yako’s gang investigate the myths surrounding the Child of Prophecy, and old, forgotten stories, trying to find out more about the giant beast. Though the fairies in towns have little to say, there are fairies living in out-of-the-way homes outside of Morgan’s notice, where they speak freely of their antipathy for her and her ‘existence tax’. Occasionally, Beryl will reappear to cause problems for Yako, and she insists he drop himself down the Great Pit as soon as possible.
Residing in Londinium, the last outpost of humans in Fairy Britain, Yako and Cú learn more about the plight of humanity in this land of fairies: though Yako is familiar with their maltreatment at the hands of the upper-class fairies, she’s less familiar with the general state of humans here. They aid the Londinium guard in exterminating Mors near its borders and help repair the ramparts in exchange for food and board.
Ritsu, Artoria, and company arrive just a few days after Yako’s party does. Reunited with Chaldea, Yako shares her findings, learns more about the state of Chaldea’s mission, and spends time getting to know Artoria. From hereon, Yako rejoins the group as they plan to retake Norwich.
AFTER THE FIRST BELL — 32 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 13 DAYS REMAINING
Yako talks with the fairies often during these days, trying to get to know them, their goals, and their dreams, though her questioning yields little result. Oberon avoids conversation about himself, not that Yako notices under his smooth-talking spell. She admires his careful and clever nature, is fascinated by his stories, and enjoys learning more about his past and the fairies of Wales. Artoria is not very comfortable around Yako, which she would later find out is due to Artoria's own fear of fire - Yako's primary elemental magecraft. At least she gets along with Gareth and Muramasa...
At Londinium, the Fang Clan are beaten back, but reports come in that the Queen's army is marching on Wales - where Oberon's forest is. The crew head out with all haste, Yako using magecraft to hasten Red Hare's speed, but arrive too late; the forest burns. They split up to cover more ground; Yako tries to find survivors, but sees only ashes, corpses, and soldiers in need of a thrashing. It's all she can do to put out fires with sprays of water runecraft, but eventually Kama drags her out of the forest, Yako and the boys coughing violently and gasping for breath. Yako wants to go back in, but Kama makes her use her healing scrolls on herself, Connla, and Cú before they die from smoke inhalation.
At the edge of the burning forest, Fairy Knight Gawain greets them with an ultimatum: Submit now, or die. Artoria, Ritsu's party, and a surprise Muramasa beat Gawain back while Percival, Gareth, and Yako's Servants fend off soldiers. After Gawain is weakened, Artoria reveals her true name: Barghest, the Black Dog. The battle rages into the night, ending in Barghest's defeat and retreat. Yako stands with Percival and Gareth against the just-arrived Fairy Knight Lancelot, who leaves the scene after clashing with Percival. The forest fire has died down, leaving the charred remains of Wales behind.
Oberon, though... "...Would you give me some time alone? It's going to take some time to say goodbye to each and every one of them."
Back in Salisbury, Artoria is greeted with a hero's welcome. The group plan for their defense of Londinium and retaking of Norwich, but Yako wanders outside in the early morning air, trying to decide her own next move. Of course she ought to stay with Ritsu and bolster the team, but could she do more good helping them cover more ground? Or staying with the rebel army, helping them fend off threats?... Ahh, no matter which way she figures it, she doesn't want to be far from the action after all. If only they could make tracks in finding Mash. It's really worrying...
AFTER THE SECOND BELL — 34 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 11 DAYS REMAINING
The second bell is rung, from high atop Salisbury, adding yet another victory to Artoria's belt. The group departs for Londinium, bustling with new recruits from Norwich. Peperoncino has made the effort to show up in person and lay out the situation for Yako, Ritsu, and da Vinci: that the Lostbelt has surpassed 'a possible point in history', instead rapidly becoming a world with the same strength of existence as Proper Human History. Rather than a "Lostbelt", it's a "Lost World". The denizens of this world, being proper existences themselves, wouldn't disappear if the Lostbelt disappeared... and being fairies, born of the earth, could move outside of Avalon, unlike the humans of the Lostbelt.
"...It means there's a possible future together."
With this news, Artoria reaffirms her desire to save the fairies of Britain and follow the path of the Child of Prophecy. Yako mulls things over after Pepe leaves. If there's a way to save everyone... why aren't they searching for it? Could they have done anything differently to save the people of the past Lostbelts, while still saving their own world...? And why aren't humans a part of the world to be saved?
"...Say, Ritsu. Should we have been looking for... a different option?" She rubs her neck. "—Sorry, forget I said that. It's not like we have a lot of options here in the first place. I just..." she says, glancing up at the dusk-blue sky, "...Before, I was frustrated I couldn't do anything... and now, I'm frustrated that what I do isn't enough. There's no way to save everyone. I'm not that optimistic. But I just feel like we're missing information. I wish... I wish we weren't stumbling around in the dark. I wish we knew what else we could do..."
The attack on Londinium comes quickly as night falls. Woodwose's army strikes fast and viciously, but are driven back by Percival and Gareth; Yako and Ritsu hold the fort as best as they can. Percival activates his spear, revealing it as the Lance of Selection - blowing Woodwose into the lake, and claiming victory.
THE BALL — 39 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 6 DAYS REMAINING
Ritsu and Artoria receive an invitation to a ball held by Murian in Gloucester. After being properly outfitted by Habetrot, the group make tracks into the city. Yako, having no invitation and not being chosen as a +1, decides to spend her time looking around the city and spending time in Pepe's shop, where she asks about the nature of humans inside the Lost World while they take her measurements. (In the meantime, her team enjoy a trip out on the town on their own, to reconvene later.) Yako expresses her concerns to Pepe, who chastises her for coming this far only to get cold feet. Yako leaves the store with new formalwear and mulls around the gardens outside the castle, waiting for news (and, if Ritsu knows her well enough, some decent food.)
...It's boring. What if... The walls look easy enough to climb. There's windowsills here, some facade work there... Before Yako can tell herself if it's a bad idea, she's scaling the wall, no denizens below her to look. She hoists herself into a balcony overlooking the garden... to come face-to-face with the fallen Fairy Knight Gawain - no, Barghest, wearing a fine evening gown. Oops. "You... You're the companion of that human boy. You look like a fairy, but there's something off about you." Barghest grips Yako's shoulder, keeping her in place. Haha. Oops. Hahaha. Danger. "It's almost like you're also..." Just then, the doors open, and she meets Ritsu's gaze, then Artoria's, then da Vinci and Muramasa; they all shoot her an exasperated stare. She gives a peace sign back. Teehee. After some chatting and explaining the circumstances, da Vinci invites Barghest to try to leave for the outside world with the fairies she wants to protect; Barghest invites the group to her manor in Manchester before departing.
The group sneak around to the bell tower, and Yako infiltrates the party to enjoy some of the banquet before it's gone. After having her fill of chocolates, cake, cheeses, and steak, Yako hears a rumbling above her, faintly... Sneaking past some doors using lockpicking spells learned from her Caster, she makes her way to what seems to be a huge stage and theater seating, with fairies in masks... Not feeling like getting chased around today, Yako hides behind a curtain and watches the fight between Artoria and Fairy Knight Tristan in hiding. (Though she could swear when Beryl waved at the crowd, he glanced her way and smiled... Eugh.) It isn't long before the third bell is ringing for Artoria's victory, and Yako decides to make a speedy exit from the scene.
TO ORKNEY AND BACK — 40 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 5 DAYS REMAINING
Detouring on their way to Orkney, the gang stops by Barghest's mansion in Manchester. Yako stays behind, saying, "I'll get too angry if I have to look at her face again. I heard the death cries of the fairies in Wales. Even if they don't die for good, they're still..." She roams the town some, picking up rumors, getting into fights, and writing down her thoughts and observations. After the detour, the team make for Orkney, where they see the destroyed remains of this Lostbelt's Tree. Habetrot gives them a brief overview of the history of the Queen's Calendar, which Yako tries to listen to but loses interest halfway through. Later, while making camp, Habetrot shares an even older history, telling the story of 'six fairies, an endless sea, and Cernunnos.'
While in the Mirror Clan's territory, they drive away Koyanskaya's Mors Dragon, learn Fairy Knight Lancelot's true identity Melusine, and are led by a man taking the guise of Yako's old Caster - Sage Grim, he calls himself - to the bell's location, where they put down the lingering regrets of Tonelico and her Black Knight... and find Mash, who had been sealed away for, apparently, thousands of years. After sorting out the timeline, they ring the bell at Orkney, sort things out with Knocknarea in Edinburgh, and make their way to Oxford.
Baobhan-Sith attacks Ritsu and co., in the process trapping Artoria, Ritsu, and Yako in the "Garden of Lost Will". Yako wanders scenes from her past, facing her anxieties and fears—wandering a bleached-white Earth alone, after everything she'd done to bring her future back. Endlessly wandering, no friend or foe in sight, only white sand under her feet and blue sky overhead, she starts to give into the despair in her heart when the illusion shatters, dragging her back to reality - to the underground prison of New Darlington.
THINGS GO DOWNHILL — 43 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 2 DAYS REMAINING
Peperon, Mash, and Yako's Servants free Artoria, Ritsu, and Yako from the prison, and things get very bad, very fast. Peperoncino takes on hundreds of humans infected with Mors, receiving the full brunt of their curses; Beryl attacks, fatally wounding Peperon, but taking the brunt of the Mors curse and a severe wound, then fleeing; and the church above their heads crumbles - Yako blows a hole in the wall to escape out of. Ritsu and Yako are reunited with da Vinci and get back on the road toward Oxford, where they ring another bell. The Queen's army attacks Londinium, and it's ugly; they lose Gareth and every resident and soldier living in Londinium, even though they eke out a small victory. The nothern army bolsters Londinium's lost ranks, Artoria tolls the final bell, and the armies prepare for the siege on Camelot.
Yako wrestles with her feelings that evening, and the despairing future she saw in the Garden. Admitting to herself that there are things she still fears, and that the future is a huge unknown, she wonders if she and Ritsu haven't just sealed a terrible fate for themselves... to say nothing of everyone they've lost along the way. She doesn't dare bring it up to Mash, da Vinci, or Ritsu, or even her own Servants, out of fear of seeming like she's lost her nerve. Whatever the future looks like, they have a present to protect.
TIME LIMIT — 45 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 0 DAYS REMAINING
The day has arrived to lay siege to Camelot. Yako joins the main party and splits off in the upper districts to reconvene at the castle through different entrances. Yako fights past guards, arriving at the throne room in time to fend off attacks against Ritsu's weakened party, though her sword still won't let her attack Morgan directly. She doesn't need to, though; a proclamation from Aurora permeates the city naming Morgan the false Queen and perpetrator of the Calamities, and the fairies of Camelot turn against Morgan, ripping her to shreds. A bell tolls. Its sound is distorted, anything but victorious.
--- END OF PART 2 ---
CALAMITY — 49-50 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL
Although it's Chaldea's victory, Holmes urges the gang to prepare for the worst, as there are too many untied loose ends. Castoria elects Knocknarea to be crowned Queen, but Knocknarea is betrayed at the coronation and killed - and the killing spreads to the armies outside. Coral accuses the Chaldea party of poisoning and killing Knocknarea, and sends Melusine to attack them; the party barely manages to escape, and the seat of Queen is left empty. Many fairies are turning into Mors. There's no doubt about it: the Great Calamity has begun in earnest, and the Lostbelt is collapsing. Upon returning to the Storm Border, instrument estimates put the Collapse at 2 days, and the Calamity is arising from the Great Pit.
Their new directives: Stop the Collapse, and retrieve the Divine Construct Rhongomyniad. They have just a few hours to rest, heal up, restock, and head back out for another battle. Yako uses the materials stash to bolster her Servants' skills, and puts away her various acquisitions from the Lostbelt into a storage container in her room, ensuring the clothes she obtained from Peperoncino will not be harmed.
The world outside is burning; corpses litter the cities. The temperature in the air is in the thousands of degrees. At Camelot, a giant creature covered in curses has emerged from the Great Pit, and crushes Camelot in its wake with massive curse hands. Koyanskaya's tails fend off the hands, but she soon disappears, cryptic as ever, and the Storm Border barely escapes from Camelot, unable to retrieve Rhongomyniad. If the Calamities aren't stopped here and escape to PHH, they'll incinerate the world. Everything seems lost... until Merlin's friendly face hijacks the screens, illuminating the means for their victory.
It rests on Artoria's shoulders. She, Ritsu, Yako, Mash, and Muramasa—and only them, he adds—will make their way through Albion's corpse to the Inner Sea of the Planet, and Artoria will complete her true mission. On their way, they fight against the will of Albion, learn the truth of Avalon le Fae and the Insect of the Abyss, and arrive to a paradise unmarred by sin. Yako wonders if she ought to stay at the entrance, but Mash drags her along with the party. It's an utterly beautiful sight that etches itself in Yako's heart; she cries, grateful she had the chance to see something this stirring.
They fight against Artoria's memories, guiding her through the seasons until she reaches the Place of Selection. Once she arrives, she will become the Holy Sword, stabilize Human Order, and the Lostbelt will fade. The storm inside her heart is vicious, manifesting as the ugly truths she encountered along her journey. At the end, there is no 'Spring' memory awaiting her; no happy memories to call her own. She runs ahead. Yako hangs back, wondering what she ought to say. Muramasa implores them to leave it to him. Merlin, in the meantime, explains the process of Artoria's conversion; Yako becomes angry, then sullen, wondering why she should have to take on such a burden.
Artoria comes back. Muramasa doesn't. It's not hard to put two and two together. They obtain the Essence of the Holy Sword, the 'Star' that has been born upon the planet. Yako can even feel Calesvol crying out in joy. With Artoria's new skills and the Holy Sword Essence in hand, Merlin sends them to two hours before the Collapse, to defeat Cernunnos before it becomes unstoppable. —Of course, they have to contend with two other Calamities first. They split their forces: while Yako and Percival deal with the Red Calamity, Albion, Ritsu and Mash handle the Black Calamity, the Black Dog. Yako is finally able to turn her sword against Albion, but Percival is the one to strike its heart.
Both Calamities suppressed, Yako moves to rejoin Ritsu and Mash, who are exhausted from their own battle. She senses bad energy and creates a weak Bounded Field around them using Seimei's techniques, stopping Beryl in his tracks. While Mash and Ritsu are weakened, Yako fights Beryl with her Servants' and Douman's support, burdening him with curses. Even though her sword won't let itself be turned against Fairies, Yako's absolute conviction in her ideals lets her overrule Calesvol's restrictions, turning it into the Sword of Conviction—and letting her cut Beryl Gut's head from his body. The sword breaks in half, corrupted. Yako watches Beryl's blood soil her boots and leggings. An evil born from a heart like hers, but unlike her in every way, shaped by his choices and the choices of others on him... Silently, she prays that he finds a new start in whatever world lies beyond.
In fighting Cernunnos, Yako, swordless, stays behind to bolster Caster Cú's magical energy through her old contract's pathways as he deploys his sanctuary spells and absorbs Cernunnos's curses. It's a long and tough battle; Yako holds firm, deploying purification spells to shave off even just a few curses. "After you saved me, all I wanted... was a chance to tell you," she says, fighting through her exhaustion, "what a hero you were to me. How much I looked up to you. ...How much I still do. Your Saber says he looks up to me, too, and I don't know how to feel. I realized that you were just bullshitting things most of the time, trying to act like a little bit like a mentor. Well... Maybe I can be for you what you were for me. Pay it forward. Or back. Even if you don't remember any of this, I feel like it has meaning. It has to. So... thank you for everything. I'll carry on your legacy, whether you like it or not. I'll always wear these Command Spells with pride."
The twelve spears are deployed, exposing Cernunnos's core; Ritsu and Mash at last deploy the Black Barrel, destroying Cernunnos. Caster Cú, his duty done, offers a few words of encouragement before departing.
A DREAM —
Oberon reveals his true nature: the Insect of the Abyss, the Pit that will swallow Britain whole, Pretender-class Oberon-Vortigern. The Collapse is still on cue, with a vast fog devouring Fairy Britain. Everything, everything, falls into the void, endlessly falling. Yako falls into a nightmare she can't wake up from, though its contents are hazy. A beautiful star appears in the fog, drawing her out of her nightmare, and waking her up on the surface of the Storm Border just in time to face Oberon-Vortigern with the rest of Chaldea.
As the battle ends, Yako falls into a dream once more. It's hazy and indistinct, but smells like flowers and sweets. The storm has parted, and she's greeted with twilit colors and a figure clad in white. "That sword has done well, but being pushed past one's limitations is different for those who are created than those who are born. You shouldn't be so rough on your allies, Yako! Hahaha. Now, heed my words: Take this child to the edge of the Inner Sea, and from there, make an offering..."
EPILOGUE —
At this point, the journey in Britain is over. Chaldea’s mission is completed, and the Lostbelt will disappear soon. Yako, in the last few hours of the Lostbelt’s existence, makes a pilgrimage to return the sundered Calesvol to the Lady of the Lake at the edge of Avalon. Vivian, seeing its damaged state, purifies and repairs the blade using Yako’s own Origin—her soul—as the bridging material. The blade’s silver shines as mana streaks across its blade, and its gems change color to the brilliant crimson dye of her soul. Vivian kisses her forehead, chasing away the weariness in her body. “Fare you well, Chaldean,” she bids, “and may you find victory.” With that, she disappears at the Lostbelt’s edge. Yako returns to the Shadow Border, ready to depart for home.
HOMECOMING —
After LB6, Yako finds herself adrift back at Chaldea. Following a grand adventure, she struggles a bit to fall back into the rhythms of everyday life. She retreats to the simulation room as she does in her melancholies, often losing herself to fantasies and memories. After a few months, she’s able to find comfort in Chaldea life again, though often seems wistful and can get lost in daydreams. She's developed a new sense of herself with an unshakable certainty. Rather than someone desperately trying to attain an unreachable ideal, Yako seems much more sure of herself, and her playfulness has less neuroticism to it. She seems like she’s finally grown up.
Her swordplay improves with guidance from Merlin, Lancelot, and Bedivere, and Calesvol’s new evolution lets her imbue the blade with magical effects more easily, giving her an edge against opponents with low magical resistances and against monsters whose forms are composed of magic. It feels as though a mass of her magic circuits have become concentrated in the blade itself, like a part of her body. She can summon it to her side with a thought, letting herself use new and riskier techniques in her swordplay and magic use, but if it becomes damaged, she feels it as keenly as if it were a part of her body. Even her Magic Circuits have been given a boost in quality, letting her use magic and transfer energy to her Servants with far more ease than before. It even seems like the sword is regenerating the part of her magic circuits healed from irresponsible magic use before, though it's slow going.
With the sixth Lostbelt behind her and the final stretch in sight, Yako resumes her training in earnest. There is an end in sight, and they will see home again. They have to. They must. And yet, a bit of doubt eats away at her: What if the world... is bleached for good? What if there's no 'tomorrow' after today?... All she can do is hope that there is a sunrise waiting for them after it all.
#t: lbvi.#journal.#i had to swap back to the old post editor to be able to post this at all#dear god i hope the readmore works. sorry everyone
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I still want back my secrets……. all of them. 😔
#journal with me#journal.#life#love#writing#feelings#journal writing#my thoughts#thoughts#broke hearts#free thinking#whats meant to be will be
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Watched Possession and read a lot about the heat death of the universe.
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Ok literally worst term ever. everything I’ve written is objectively nonsensical. I’m going to have to face my supervisor after having produced nothing but drivel in the past five weeks and not even a lot of it. Like 3000 words. of crap
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I called my brother a wifeguy and he was like “what’s that” so I told it’s a man who’s obsessed with his wife, and there was a pause as he went through all 5 stages of grief in about 20 seconds, and then said, “well what do other people do??”
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Woke up from a bad dream and then stayed in bed and couldn't stop thinking about something that's been bothering me and then turned on phone and felt more bad. No escape.
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