#( it's not as in detail but lowkey? sumi's mental health is NOT doing the hottest but it def could be worse )

[etherbonded]

I feel the urge to explain on / write about how Sumire's mental health, while getting better, also became worse in the same breath post third sem so I might delete this later but uhhh ramble under the cut

GENERAL CONTENT - bad coping with mental health, third semester, bad medical and therapeutical practices, sumire not telling people about her therapy and her issues, dissociation and more.

Her mental health gets better, she's unlearning a lot of the things she developed as Kasumi and now she's making it her own. Hell, she's even learning how to cope even if it's not in the best way. She's beginning to feel happy with herself again. She feels alive, she feels like SUMIRE and they accept her for it, she feels so loved and cared for. ...But she has reluctantly also noticed the signs that something is wrong with her by some degree. She's noticed her paranoia spike up for no apparent reason, along with how intensely she feels and how she's needing more alone time. As if being around the ones who're helping her are also sapping the energy from her.

But she chose to actively ignore the the SIGNS that something is wrong for a good few months post third sem. until it hits a sharp peak, when she was home alone. When reality itself seems to be messed up and she cannot understand WHY which freaks her out due to the fact she feels as if she's suffocating. It's as if the world itself has decided to fuck with her even though she's HEALING, she's getting better with accepting herself. But before she knows it she swears that she can hear Kasumi's voice vaguely call out to her and then sees Kasumi's silhouette briefly down the hallway before it walks off. Something she follows but is roughly greeted by her father asking her what in the hell is she doing, and when she tries to explain, she realizes.

Kasumi was never there. It was her mind playing tricks on her, AGAIN. And by this point, her father has had enough and practically forces her to go to a therapist ( something she was not really ready for then ). But the good thing being, this therapist seems to listen or at least understand that a diagnosis would be a DEATH SENTENCE for her career. Her therapist, although by technicality she shouldn't due to Sumire lacking diagnosis, has proscribed medication. It's truthfully helped her quite a bit with the dissociation she experiences along with some of the other issues but she only takes it once peer week. But, she's learned to keep that private from others, because she quite frankly doesn't want to deal with other people asking about it.

And on the days where she knows it's going to get bad? She chooses to lie and say that she's being told to come home by her father if she's hanging out with anyone when in actuality, she's stopping by the Funeral Parlor to breath and isolate herself from most others. For the lady who runs it always seems okay with her staying around, someone who took her in after her father kicked her out for being "too much for him to handle" ( he only just sends her money now ). Her and her father now only act okay in public otherwise, and she hasn't had the courage to tell her friends yet about those issues.

Not even Akechi nor Amamiya.

As for her suspicions to what has caused these new found issues, she firmly believes that it was because of the fact she had believe she was Kasumi for a good while until they had snapped her out of it. Afterall, you can only mess with a person's cognition so much before something bad happens.