#( it's even more annoying than p*rn blogs )

[mcrinmyhead]

INTRODUCTION

Hiya, my name's Dee or you can call me Dead! instead, cuz that's what my name is in Tumblr. I'm sixteen. I'm an Indian, racists better fck off. I like to draw, sing and write songs and poems. I mainly post my art here and I have two side blogs too, which are @mcrinmyheart (idk what I post there :D) and @shesacomplicatedpoet where... Er, you know it. And when I say "art" I usually draw My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon and a few other bands, but you can always leave a picture in the "Ask me?" box if you really want me to draw something that you like :). Just make sure it isn't something s!utty, cuz my parents like seeing my sketchbook sometimes, haha.

About me...

Name: Dead! / Dee

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/her

Likes: listening to music, art, singing, music bands, food, sleeping (I'm a very eepy person), travelling, reading, etc.

What kind of art do I do? Fanarts mainly.

Dislikes: peanuts (yea I don't like 'em, so if you know me irl and try to feed me peanuts, I'm gonna fcking stab you, you little shit), pedos, homophobic fcks, MSI apologists, basic DNIs, etc.

Am I single? Yes, and that's because I don't want to date anyone. Nvm, I'm taken :]

Music bands/artists I like:

+ twenty one pilots, p!atd, Bring Me The Horizon, Glass Animals, Bad Omens, Sleep Token, etc. I also liked The 1975, The Nbhd, Joji, Driver The Era, Arctic Monkeys and Chase Atlantic before, so I really don't mind if you wanna talk about them too. I'm basically a music addict who has listened to a whole lotta music genres throughout my life. But I'm currently into rock music rn. Yeah, I can't stop talking about music if I start.

My favourites:

Books: Agatha Christie's books, Heartstopper, Five Feet Apart, The Fault in our Stars, Crime/Horror/Mystery books (there are many but I can't remember them), etc.

Movies: anything horror, mystery, crime, sci-fi, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, from the 2000s and 90s, etc. (How do people actually choose a favourite movie??)

Shows: Loki, Heartstopper, Young Royals, Marvel shows, etc. (I literally like all the shows I watch)

Albums: My top 10 rn (June 2024) are like- Three cheers for sweet revenge (my chem), POST HUMAN: NexGen (BMTH), XO (LeATHERMØUTH), The Black Parade (my chem), I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love (my chem), Clancy (Tøp), A Thousand Suns (Linkin Park), Danger Days (my chem), Folie a Deux (FOB), and Pretty. Odd. (P!ATD).

Colours: (Bury me in) Black, Blood Red and Lavender.

Where else can you find me?

At home, in my room 95% of the time. Nah, just kidding.

Links:

Pinterest

Spotify

Discord: mcrinmyhead

Tags I use:

My art: #art

Asks: #asks #asks <3

Scroll down for more facts about me...

Or don't. I really don't care.

Fun facts about me ^^:

I'm a really joyful, chaotic, kind, funny and a sweet person! :D (according to my frens)

Until and unless you get me on my nerves. Trust me, That's when I go insane.

If you know me irl, hi... Uh, I know I don't talk much in person but I'm sorry. That's just who I am. But if you want to be my friend, you can start by texting me lol.

I'm a music addict who likes to annoy people by talking about music bands 24/7.

I have an unhealthy obsession over My Chem.

I'm a huge nerd (according to every person in my class) and I like Math and Science (but I don't really talk about it unless you are someone who is into math and science as much as me).

I'm also a sarcastic and sassy person. So if my words ever offend you, I'm so sorry bbg. Deal with it.

I'm a vampire (I have fangs and I will bite you to suck that blood your body holds, RAHHH).

Other than drawing and singing, my hobbies are fangirling, sleeping, reading books, travelling and sometimes even cooking.

I might be surrounded by many people who I call my "friends," but in the end it's just four people who are actually my friends.

I'm mostly an introvert, but I'm an extrovert when I'm with my friend.

I suck at socializing btw.

Yikes, this list is still going on!

But I like to annoy people at the same time.

Wait, does Tumblr have a word limit on a post?

SHALL I TRY REACHING THE WORD LIMIT???

Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention this but I'm a really curious person. I like trying out or experimenting on stuff. It's fun, okay?

I can be smart and an idiot at the same time B)

I write poems but I don't like showing them to others cuz I feel like they're stupid. Any tips on poetry from the poets of Tumblr?

I love cats. Cats or get tf out.

Am I annoying rn?

Idk.

This was fun.

Alright, that's enough fckery for today. Farewell my little kittens <333

So long and good night!

[elishortforelliott]

IF YOU ARE SUPPORTING ISRAEL LEAVE MY BLOG AND DO YOUR RESEARCH. FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Ok! Hello!! I'm making an introduction page and i dont know how to do introductions that well so I'm going with the flow so sorry if this is confusing!!! Also I have Bolded all the important text so if you want to skim just read the bolded text! :D ALSO if you follow me and you look like a bot (you have nothing on your profile have the default profile picture etc.) I will block you.

WARNINGS AND DNI UNDER THE CUT LOOK AT THEM.

THE INTRODUCTION 👋

Credit: @/burntoutuserboxes

Hi! My name is Eli or you can call me Elliott I do not care!! Either one is fine!! My pronouns are he/they and I think I'm either trans masc or bigender but I'm still figuring thing out! :D I'm bisexual and ace! and I am a minor. I'm working on improving my art so alot of my posts will probably be fanart or just random doodles. I will be working on anatomy so expect me to post huminoids with sub par anatomy and procrastinating by drawing landscapes and I am SHIT at finishing projects so if I say I'm doing something expect it to be posted in a year/hj I'm also learning ceramics!! and I'll take drawing requests!! :D (but if I dont want to do them you have to respect that.) Also be prepared for alot of me screeching about random things.

THE WARNINGS ⚠️

I am in alot of horror/thriller fandoms!! So on my blog you will see: teeth, gore, worms, insects, child murder, murder, eye imagery, clowns, animatronics, manikins, weapons, and so on if you are uncomfortable with any of these things I will be doing my best to add warnings to all of my posts that have the above topics but if you don't want to take any chances please leave.(also if there are anyways where I could improve/add any warnings please tell me.)

ALSO I may or may not reblog/post about political topics or religion (specifically Christianity) i will be putting warnings on these posts but please be careful and leave this blog if it will be harmful for you!

MY BOUNDARIES/DNIs 🛑

Okay! So these are my boundaries please respect them!

Please do not interact if you are: racist, homophobic, transphobic, abilest, proshipper, p*rn bot, pedophile, fatphobic, etc.

Please do not talk about Christianity (I have religious trama) unless I have brought the topic up. anyone who is Christian please do not interact with this blog even if you support lgbtq+ and are not just a total asshole please dont interact im sure your a great person just please do not interact.

DO NOT steal my art if you do repost it please make sure to ask for my permission first and to give me credit and if you don't ill steal your knee caps

Please be patient with me and spelling. I absolutely suck at it and auto correct is my life line. You can totally point out spelling/ Grammar mistakes I make but please don't be rude about it.

And please tell me if I have said/done/rebloged anything harmful, offensive, misinformed, annoying, or rude.

THE FANDOM/INTERESTS LIST 👁

Credit: @/burntoutuserboxes

There are alot of fandoms that I am in so this list is very big and ever expanding!!!

The Penumbra Podcast (i am still on season 3 please no spoilers!)

SIAMÉS

Fools gold DnD campaign

Nimona

Barbie

Hollow knight

Sonic

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (most shows and comics i haven't seen all of them.)

Lego monkie kid

The magnus archives (I have been spoiled on like the whole thing so spoilers are fine!)

Welcome to nightvale (I have not finished year 3 please no spoilers!)

Hello from the hallowoods( I have just started so no spoilers please!)

Malevolent (i have also just started!)

Minecraft

Stray

Last of us

The owl house

Amphibia

Gravity falls

Dead end paranormal park

Spiderman into the spiderveres

BNA

Mob Psycho

Promise neverland

Pokemon

Spiritfarer

Five nights at freddy's

Bendy and the ink machine

Detroit become human

Stardew valley (please no spoilers please!)

Hell followed with us

The girl from the other side

The crane wives

The amazing devil

Pottery/ceramics

Painting/drawing

AND FINALLY TAGS/ ORIGINAL WORKS#️⃣

I have 3 tags i will hopefully have a tag for ask soon but I am procrastinating

#my art -- This as a bunch of fanart of the fadoms I am in and just artpeices I've made

#my pottery -- This is all my pottery pieces and the progress! :D

#To Find A Home -- this is a story im making and im so excited to share my ocs!!!

Thank you for reading!!! Please talk to me if we have any fadoms in common! I want to make friends!! :D

[killbots-stuff]

Annoyed because I saw post about LGBT history which mid thread has like 5 guilt trip "____ won't reblog this" type additions, which particularly bothered me because it also just straight up contains misinformation about Marsha P. Johnson. Mainly repeating the common claim that she started the Stonewall riots, among other inaccuracies. Johnson herself has denied being the instigator during the riots, directly stating that she wasn't even present when they started.¹ ² That's not to say she isn't worth remembering (I honestly find it fucking insulting to imply the only action worth remembering was starting the riots anyways). She was a founding member of the Gay Liberation Front, ³ was an activist involved in the ACT UP movement, ⁴ and is a prominent artist in general. (also look up both of those things if you haven't heard of them, they're interesting and incredibly important in queer history (or don't, I'd recommend it though, but no judgment if you choose not to rn)). Like fucks sake can we recognize important figures in queer history without just outright lying about the things they did? I respect her 1000x more for role in the Gay Liberation Front than I would if her only action of note was throwing a fucking shot glass. It's almost downplaying what she did for the community in a way.

Literally 0 judgment if you re blogged it unless you did so to shame people for not spreading blatant misinformation. That said please do not believe anything you read online uncritically. And please, if you are going to add on some snarky guilt tripping reply to something you see, do the bare minimum to check that it's at least true. Preferably you wouldn't do it at all, but still. Not tagging this because I feel weird putting this in peoples tags, that said reblog if you feel like it, or don't. It's cool, you are not obligated to platform me or anyone for that matter. Sources: ¹ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7jnzOMxb14 ² https://www.thepinknews.com/2020/05/27/who-threw-the-first-brick-at-stonewall-uprising-riot-pride/

³ https://masculinisation.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/introduction-queering-the-non-human-by-noreen-giffney-and-myra-j-hird.pdf

⁴ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjN9W2KstqE

[dis-harmony]

Ranting on @dawo44man

Hey guys, I now have another hater that’s ruining my blog is @dawo44man who is my second hater this year. (And don’t ask questions why this guy’s name is not tagged.)

So I gotta tell you all what he did to me a few weeks ago, first of all, he spread rumors and lie to me by rebloging my posts that I’m a pedophile and saying that I’m an addict to $*x stuff. No! My blog contains 0% content of pedophilia and nsfw stuff and I would not tolerate pedophilia, prostitution, nsfw, sex appeal, drugs, and other things that has to do with adultery in this blog! What’s makes me more disappointed is when I attempt to explain to some of my friends (followers) about this, they didn’t even say anything about it, they never seem to care when they hear about it, and all they do is ignore my vents which is frustratingly hurtful. Does it because it’s too personal and makes them uncomfortable or maybe because they only care about themselves. Second of all, he is calling me names. Something that makes me really made is that he’s calling me “Miley Luong”. My name is not Miley Luong, it’s Harmony. Who tf is Miley Luong? Idk who she is. She doesn’t even exist in this site at all, does she? I guess not. Finally, what’s worse than that is that he’s discriminating against Israelites and stuff. And do you know what kind of race he likes? Nazis. @dawo44man is a spam/p*rn bot with an empty blog but bullies an innocent being like me and he is interested in Nazi stuff because he’s high af! 🤣 (okay fine I’ll stop talking about it.)

Now that the rant of this retard was discussed, I want to say to you all in this entire site out there should NEVER cyber bully on people because it’s offensive, stupid, annoying, and rude. Why? Because when you cyber bully on a person who has disabilities or unsecured, they would end up killing themselves into a millions of pieces like Amanda Todd did and I’m so sick when I see/hear people pressuring on others to suicide themselves when they’re bullied because it’s serious and we SHOULD NOT joke about this at all!

So I want to tell you haters, if you guys are not a big fan of my blog and don’t like me, that’s okay but it’s not okay to bully on a person. But if you retardant people do, you guys are just down-hards. 😐

To the people who are cyber bullied and need support is @a-star-is-here, @krasivaa, and @jewelleria. I now support the three of you who have been victimized to bullying because of these horrible people who treat you like this are just losers. And I’m glad that I’m not the only one who feels like this and you guys are awesome. Don’t let anyone get to you and I don’t want you three to get hurt by your enemies. Stay safe!

[multeasers]

oc thoughts that if i don't put out now i might never do it :p

⚫ incredibly self-conscious about the scars on his face ; if asked, he will shut down for a good long while, before coming back to whatever needs doing and acting as if nothing ever happened . There is no one in the world who currently knows the story behind them, save for himself ; it’s best to not bring their existence up at all . Any strangers who try to pay attention to them are lashed out at ⚫he is absolutely rude, but he's not exactly cruel nor evil on a strict basis . he will toe the line of the former category, and he can delve into cruelty for sure, if he feels the need to, but he is still, in the case of his story, part of the group of heroes / people who save the world, so he can and will be found doing things anyone would suspect of a person in that group ( by miracle of heaven, in his story he is never once speculated to be a villain, but that doesn't mean everyone will keep from doing so ) ⚫if u read the billions of words on the blog page u know this name but if u didn't that's fine too, but know : Aster chooses to try and get Antares to be a better person because the latter reminds Aster of himself before he, successfully, changed his own life . he is genuinely worried for the course of Antares' life and how it could go should he continue the way he does, so no matter how much Antares lashes out at him / attempts to push him away, Aster sticks with him by choice . both he and Antares knows he'd be better off if he didn't, but he doesn't give a shit . he forced his way into Antares' life and forced him to tell him all about himself, so he acknowledges that getting hurt is just the price he'll continue to pay for not leaving the guy alone . this willingness to stay despite his behaviour and actions is the why / how Antares came to see him as a father figure at all, and why he even tolerates learning how to be a better person from him at all ; go up to Antares and thank Aster for it and he might just have a conniption, though . he freaks out when his changes are seen and pointed out ⚫he isn't easy to scare and he doesn't have a lot of fears that aren't all tied into emotional / relationship bases . he's prone to acting much more frightened than he truly is, though, even when he doesn't need to be acting at all ; he just wants to know what fear is like . there's a story about how that want's based in what he was taught by Ares, but we won't talk about that rn ⚫ he is perfectly okay with being openly disliked and hated, but if you try to kill him or express genuinely wanting him dead he absolutely gets offended . what the hell . he's just standing here why're you THAT mad . he is hangin' the hell out man >> there's amusement in there too but mostly, he's just offended >> he's also kind of a coward though . any fight breaks out and he's gone, goodbye, you're eating his dust . he can fight fine, he just doesn't like to, and sure as hell barks more than he bites re : action ⚫ kinda tying into ^^^, he doesn't often act ; very much a see what goes on, react, leave before anything can happen to him type of guy . he doesn't like extending much effort into anything unless there's some type of urgency he feels about it ⚫ he will very actively attempt to annoy the absolute fuck out of you at any given moment . reaction, no reaction, it doesn't matter ; he's amused by all of it . the only way he'll truly stop is if you manage to physically hurt him, but that's not very easy because he will run away and do his best to not have that happen . he is not a willing victim . you're free to attempt all the same, though, because again : it doesn't stop until that happens ⚫ loves to be researching shit . if you want him out of your hair for any reason, tell him to go look something up . he'll be gone for hours, though, so give him a time frame if you also still need him around ; if you still need him nearby, specify that too, or he'll be gods know where for hell knows how long >> not much of a fighter . not because he can't, he just doesn't want to

[lollich0p]

"Soft confirmed lesbian" it was a deleted tweet from one writer that no other writers corroborated, it's not any sort of confirmation at all, and chances are valve probably made him delete the tweet because it was misinfo.

it's also uncomfortable that you refer to it as "straight shipping" when (if I'm telling right from the current influx of Sc*utP*uling posts in the tags rn) the person in question headcanons both P*uling and Sc*ut as bisexual, and while I can somewhat agree with the concern of it attracting the wrong people, there were better and less biphobic ways to express that.

(Words censored so they don't show up as keywords in searches, because I figure you might not want that given how some people act about this stuff, slurs and dudebros and stuff)

My public response ig. Firstly I did not mean this to be biphobic I didn't know who i was talking about headcanoned them as bisexual. if we are even talking about the same person. (one of the downsides of being vague lol)

In defense of me saying "Soft confirmed lesbian" sorry for feeding off the scraps that get thrown to me. I didn't know he deleted the tweet either. Also we don't really have any proof one way or the other valve being the ones who made him delete it, i remember him getting a bit of harassment from it back in the day so it could also simply been because of that. (sorry ik thats a big nitpick but like there are other reasons lol) Also saying that it has no weight because none of the other writers said anything about it doesn't really make the tweet more or less proof. Once again I picked my wording carefully, i referred to it as a soft confirmation exactly because he was the only writer to say it. And her being a lesbian doesn't show up solidly in any cannon content. This is like a dumbledore is gay situation but in my opinion less shitty.

And I referred to it as "straight shipping" as that was what the original discourse was called. As sc*ut/p*uling was a very popular straight ship in the tf2 fandom when i first joined, expiration date making it even bigger than it already was. So jay saying he wrote miss p as a lesbian was kind of a big deal and a lot of lesbian fans took it very seriously (myself included for a while). So of course there was a lot of arguing and drama over it. Which kinda tainted the whole ship for me. And seeing the discourse get revived live on my dash with only input from sc*ut/p*uling shippers who were regurgitating the same arguements I and i'm sure other have heard before without any voices from people who HC miss p as a lesbian was annoying so I complained.

TLDR i don't really care one way or another about sc*ut/p*uling it's just a ship and it isn't hurting anyone. I personally just think its kinda mid and the discourse surrounding it is annoying.

Once again I am sorry I didn't mean for my post to come across that way, I was simply frustrated to see a pretty watered down version of the same discourse that been happening on here for years. So i decided to complain about it on my own personal blog with what i hoped to be as little context as possible to have it be brought back to bother the op or myself.

[somewhereinchaos]

can weird personal blogs with no posts/reblogs stop following me pls..

[batslime]

God I finally deleted my main Twitter account and I wish I could do that with Tumblr but it would kill my art blog too 💀💀💀 I would hate to have to completely replicate it on a different account but I may end up doing it lmao

[turtle-ly]

even though its annoying as fuck, i gotta notice that the catra search usually has more p*rn blogs than the adora search. i love you girl you’ll forever be famous 😌

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[rrrawrf-writes]

lordy lordy loo it’s been a hot minute since i’ve made an original post, i forgot where the button was

so. some of you may have seen the stuff running around about violetvineyard and mvcreates, some of you may not have. i’m just gonna lay out my experiences here, now that other people are talking about it and now that the server has been deleted. i’m gonna try to present a fair and nuanced version; i’m not gonna include screenshots (right now) bc i’m lazy, mostly.

there are several other people who are putting up way better breakdowns than i am. i just figured i might as well toss mine onto the pile bc why not? but if you’re hoping to hear from me a story about how i’ve been wronged, per se, you won’t find much of one, because i played mainly a spectator role, and never had much trouble there. i will have a vague, lukewarm defense of some of the people involved that other people may not agree with, but again, this is all just the whole VV deal from my point of view.

@nuwuhorizons (i haven’t said how dang much i lOVE your url) and @sapiencenotes have very good receipts and breakdowns. if you want a more in-depth (and dramatic, forgive me for using the word, i’m not trying to downplay this), check them out. @time-to-write-and-suffer also has some great stuff on their blog about all of this.

all righty. so. i joined VV not right at the beginning, but soon after it was started. there was an application process, i got accepted, i was looking for a community to help me start writing more. (it didn’t help, but that’s not their fault, that’s mine.) the person who owned the server was called mina, and on tumblr, mina’s url was mvcreates. mina is a nonbinary Muslim woman of color, a professional who i believe works at harvad and deals a lot with things like infectious diseases, iirc. she was doing a whole lot of work when the pandemic came around, and so the past few months wasn’t quite as active as she had been at the start, both on the server and tumblr. 

the very first time mina came on my radar, before i joined vv, was because she had corrected someone’s typo on a post, and it stirred up a minor drama about “don’t give unsolicited criticism” and “is pointing out minor errors like that okay” and blahblahblah. i ran across that on a friend’s dash, and also ran across the promo for vv from that friend’s dash, as well, and joined bc y not.

everything was p cool for a while. it was nice to meet some new people and some of my mutuals on there. mina seemed like a fun person. she was about a year, year and a half, maybe, older than i am. the first things that kind of started rubbing me wrong at the start was how she would kind of dismiss suggestions for the server than i and a friend had, and how she kept bringing up her age - she would often say things like “well i wouldn’t do that but i’m an Old(TM) so maybe i just don’t get it” and i can’t really explain why that bothered me. i think it felt dismissive, like Younger Folks Don’t Know How Things Should Work. also, like. she kept bringing it up. as if it meant something, as if plenty of us on that server weren’t actually around her age. there was a convo on vaccinations where i wanted to make the point that a lot of anti-vaxxers should be educated instead of ridiculed and shamed, but i never really got to making that point bc she jumped in very sharply and explained that anti-vaxxers all come from a class of people who are generally educated. i didn’t bother saying anything else. 

at the start, it was tiny little things like that. i chalked it up to her personality and mine just not quite matching up. i sat down a lot and examined my own internal biases, bc i knew something was bugging me, but i couldn’t tell if it was legitimate, or if i was jealous and petty, or if i was being discriminatory towards her identity. i still wonder that a lot; i want to be careful that i’m examining her actions here, and not the person who made those actions.

because the other thing that bothered me was that she was perfect at pretty much everything. she was a decent, if not good, writer, from what i read. i thought her “art”/edits were neat, even if sometimes i looked at them going “that just looks like an edit, not your own art, but u kno, edits are art too, so i’m not gonna say anything.” she had a lot of motivation, a lot of ambition. soon, this kind of transferred over into me feeling like she acted like she had to be perfect at everything. i think this is probably one of the more “lisa is just being petty” things, rather than a judgement on her character, but she seemed to flaunt her own skills and accomplishments a lot. not that no one is allowed to brag sometimes! but it was just another layer of “this bothers me.”

then there was the hero worship.

people in the server loved mina. i liked her. i had no problems with her, even if there were a few things i was a little “ehhhh” about. vv got pretty big, pretty quickly, and i assume there was a decent amount of turnover and people who just joined to lurk or sometimes share things in the promos channel or elsewhere. but the most active folks just. they adored mina with every fiber of their being. mina could do no wrong. no one ever called her out on anything; everything she did was hailed as fantastic and wonderful. and honestly, for the most part, it wasn’t like she was doing crappy stuff. some of the praise was well-deserved, imo, but it just bordered on embarrassing for some of these people, how much they just worshipped the ground she walked on.

and she didn’t really like, discourage it. like, at the start, i think i remember her being more modest, but in general, she just let it go, and so did i, bc like. i aint that kinda jerk.

the stated purpose of violetvineyard was to have a community that valued reciprocity. reciprocity was mina’s biggest thing. there was a channel for people to post their stuff on, so the rest of us could browse and read and reblog. i, admittedly, didn’t do as much of that as i wish i did, but part of it was because i do have a life outside of the internet, a memory and attention span the size of a gnat, and because like. 90% of the stuff that people put in the promos channel were things like edits, writeblr intros, wip intros, etc etc, when all i wanted was to just read some actual writing. but that’s neither here nor there. what got hilarious to me, though, was whenever mina’s fervent admirers would talk about how mina was, quote, a pillar of the community. how vv was doing something No Other Writeblr Group Had Done Before. how Important and Special this server was.

folks. i’ve been on here for several years now. we don’t have a community. we have a bunch of little cliques who reblog from their friends and complain about people not reblogging them. noah fence, but come on. vv got pretty dang big, but it was still a small corner of a small section of tumblr. like. sorry, all y’all, but them’s the breaks.

also, this was hilarious to me bc there are several big writeblrs who have been running around long before mina and vv showed up. yet, according to these people in the server, mina had Single-handedly Brought Hope To This Desolate Wasteland.

in the end, vv became just another little clique whose members reblogged from their friends. i don’t want to devalue the good that did come out of vv. a lot of the picture being painted rn was that the majority of the server were scary dog-piling people. the majority of the server were just writeblrs looking to promo their stuff and talk about their writing. unfortunately, few bad apples, bad rep, negatives outshine positives, etc etc. but i think it did do some good re: exposure for a few folks, even tho it didn’t turn into what it could have been. 

another one of the things that was a minor irritant to me was that they eventually started archiving the vent channel, which was probably the most-used channel. that didn’t sit right to me, but as always, i was a coward had nothing to say about it, so i didn’t. the reason given was that there were often things in the vent channel that people might regret being there, so it was periodically archived and a fresh channel started.

so i’m rambling a lot about stuff that’s probably boring and inconsequential. that’s 90% of this whole vv thing, tho, you need to understand that. 

the biggest thing that bothered me about mina, i think, came about from the constant hero worship from her adoring fans. and i know there’s a whole argument to be said about expecting labor from people with marginalized identities, which is an argument i agree with - don’t expect someone of a minority group to educate you or to face trauma or to shut down bigots, etc etc. but by now, mina had a lot of followers in general, and in specific, she had quite a few people who would defend her at every single perceived slight.

she made a lot of those fun writeblr reblog games, like “send me a fruit that says this about my writing.” those were cool, i’ll admit that. but she was super into “you have to send an ask to the person you reblog from, RECIPROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!” and seemed to struggle with the fact that sometimes, people don’t follow her established rules on her posts for these games. she’d complain about it every single time that happened in the vent channel, which, again, that’s fine? that’s what vents are for, it’s annoying to not get cool fun asks when you do these games, but also, that’s life for you. she could depend on her fans to send her plenty of asks, whereas the much smaller blogs who reblogged these games would probably get f-all, half the time. if you’ve gone through nuwuhorizons or one of the other blogs i mentioned earlier, you’ll have run across the incident where mina’s friends harrassed an 11 year old for not doing her ask game right.

an eleven year old. 

and this is my biggest grief with mina. she only stopped her friends from dogpiling people... once? maybe twice? that i remember. and not only that, but there were SEVERAL occasions where she would get on the vent channel, complain about someone who had said something wrong on one of her posts (and sometimes, again, these were legitimate!), and then ask if someone in the server wanted to reply to them. reasons for such ranged from “i’m too busy rn” to “they would probably listen more to a white person than me.”

again. this, on occasion, is not necessarily a bad thing. we cannot expect labor and response from minorities. my issue was that she kept doing this. and sometimes it was fine, just someone who would drop a note on the post or send a polite anon. but this, to me, the whole asking someone else to fight your battles for you? that really bothered me. mina is a grown adult. either ignore it, like the rest of us chumps, or deal with it yourself. having friends support you is not a bad thing - if i was attacked on tumblr and my friends jumped in to defend me, i’m cool with that. but i wouldn’t ask them to, and then not do anything myself.

to me, this attitude just encourages dogpiling. this felt like she was taking advantage of the people admiring her so whole-heartedly, and using them to deal with minor grievances. (again, i don’t want to downplay some of the actual racism and xenophobia she experienced on this website, because there was some pretty sketchy stuff that did need someone else stepping in to object to. but then there was “ugh this person asked me what program i use to make my music and i don’t want to answer them bc that’s rude,” and stuff of that caliber. like, mina, you built yourself a pretty big following here on tumblr, you don’t get to complain when people are trying to ask you questions and engage with you when you set yourself up as a knowledgeable person on a subject.)

i’m going to mention @gingerly-writing because she already made a post on the subject, but there was an instance where we were in the vent channel and watched a lot of mina’s friends send anons and reblogs of a hurtful nature to one person. eventually, ginger stepped in to say “hey, i don’t think we need to keep doing this, they are a minor,” and after she did so, i also jumped in, saying something along the lines of, “yeah, i’ve seen this kind of stuff blow up in another server and end in a really regrettable situation where no one was happy, can we stop.” both ginger and i received a private message from the mods (individually) saying that we shouldn’t police the chat, etc etc. not during that message, but on the vent channel, another mod jumped in to say that the people dogpiling the blogger were also minors. as if that makes it okay, and isn’t actually extremely worrying in its own right.

after that, i pretty much took a stance of “all right then i just won’t say anything at all.” i stuck around vv because i hated myself actually really liked a few of the others in the server, including a couple of the mods who are actually really cool people, not all the vv mods are sketch, and because honestly? i lowkey knew that vv was going to crash and burn sometime, and i wanted to be there to watch what happened. due to the pandemic, and her line of work, mina became less active, and the whole server died down a bit. 

then someone reblogged one of mina’s ‘art’ posts and accused her of tracing. mina’s admirers immediately jumped into action. nuwuhorizons has it pretty well documented on their blog. there was nothing in the server about it, except one of the others said “oh man i saw that and it pissed me off,” there was some minor chat, and then i woke up and wanted to know what had happened, and was told “don’t worry about it.”

so, naturally, bc the only thing i thirst for is water and Drama(TM), i went looking for it.

found it on some of mina’s friend’s blogs, where i found who had reblogged and said mina was tracing, and followed those reblog chains, where several of mina’s followers attacked the accuser and made fun of their name and age and defended mina, pulling out progress videos and stuff of mina’s work. the accuser was trans and still a teenager, even if technically an adult, so that made things a lot worse. mina eventually posted something explaining that she was pencil tracing and had a very cheery, false-positive tone to the whole thing.

things sorta ended at that, but then maybe the same day, or the day after, user hyba made that big ol post about the Big Scary Tumblr Mirror Website Copying All Your Good, Hard Work. mina and her friends jumped on this. they threw it in the server and talked about things like intellectual property rights and “i don’t like how this makes me feel :(” and from there, went in to how tumblr was a terrible garbage site and then mina and most of the mod team decided that it was time to pack up VV and leave tumblr completely. 

pretty much everyone i know were mina’s besties have vanished off tumblr. mina made an announcement that VV was “migrating” off tumblr and discord(???) and dropped another application to join the great vv migration. i did not apply bc i just have too freaking much going on in my life and needed to get out of this for the sake of my own mental health. it was tempting as hell, tho, i will say that. 

a couple things about this - at the time, mina is also having some pretty bad things going on in her family. she was very vague on the details, but i think that really contributed to wanting to leave; on top of the pandemic and everything else, she was probably heckin stressed. but also like. she never called out her followers for attacking her accuser. she never made any sort of post talking about it. she never told her friends on the server “hey don’t do that.” she never took accountability for it, or, honestly, for anything else she or her friends have done that didn’t feel too good. the mirror sites aren’t really a big deal. 

after the server was archived, it was left up a couple days so everyone could grab contact info, etc. during this time, i was checking the ‘violetvineyard’ tag and saw someone post “what happened to mvcreates they haven’t answered my application to vv,’ and i responded with “oh, the server closed down bc of the copy cat sites.”

the same day, i got a tumblr DM from one of the former mods asking me not to give away any details about vv leaving tumblr. it was very politely worded and everything, but it was still just like

okay? vv is over? why are you asking me not to say anything. and it wasn’t like i was even spilling any hot goss, i was just repeating the excuse (and i do mean excuse) mina gave us. 

anyway, that mod is off tumblr, too, as far as i know, or else they stealthin. which is fine, u do u, buddy.

uhh conclusion time, i guess? i have a few scattered screenshots of things, but i’m not posting em bc i’m lazy and also running late for a thing. but really, for me, i didn’t have a whole lot of beef with mina or pretty much any of the other folks on vv. i thought that mina and her friends were a bit too eager for blood, and that really bothered me. i’m annoyed they shut down vv completely, because it could actually have been something great. if mina wanted off writeblr, i wish she had given the whole network over to people interested in running it; instead, what was a good thing for a lot of people is now completely gone, with no existing framework for people to build on. sure, anyone can go make their own network/family for writeblr, but now it’s just going to splinter into a bunch of different, smaller groups, and we’re all back to square one.

but whatever. i didn’t get to see the server go down in flames, instead it just ended with a hasty retreat and a few whimpers, and quite honestly i wished my staying in had paid off.

i do want to reiterate - there were quite a few people in vv who i think are great, and this does include some of the mods themselves.

i’ve also gotten a couple messages from a few other folks who had been in vv who have their own real, real sketch stories, which are making me rethink how i feel about mina and her friends, and all the good credit i gave them. i just wanted to present this bc it’s my blog and i do what i want, fight me.

and if anyone wants to chat about vv, hit me up. i keep things as private as you want them to be, and i love love love talking about this nonsense. Give Me The Deets.

[issa-me-addy]

to put it simply: if you like anything on this list, we should like... totally be friends/moots

YES THIS IS LONG AND I APOLOGIZE BUT ITS BEEN IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I FELT AS IF I MUST EXPLAIN MYSELF AND MY BLOG FOR BEING A SHITSHOW OF JUST ALL THE THINGS I LIKE

this list is also for my current followers/moots to get to know me and know what to anticipate on my blog from here on out 

i like a lot of things and obvi i post more of some things than others 

but i’m mostly making this to find new friends/blogs to follow

ALSO MUST NOTE: THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE 

I AM HERE FOR ANYONE I WILL ALWAYS RESPOND AND ALWAYS LISTEN AND DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP 

ALSO THIS BLOG DOES NOT TOLERATE ANY TYPE OF ASSHOLES 

I SUPPORT THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, THE BLM MOVEMENTS, I BELIEVE THAT NOBODY IS ILLEGAL, I AM RESPECTFUL TO ALL BELIEF SYSTEMS, WOMEN ARE AMAZING, TRANSRIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS, I BOOST POC REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA, 

AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND KINDNESS AS THE FOREFRONT OF THIS BLOG AND EVERYTHING I AM. BUT I WILL FUCK UP A TRICKASSBITCH FOR BEING FUCKING RUDE. 

also again, this post is really long i apologize

first and foremost i love the gays

i myself am a little bit gay

ok into the good stuff

DISNEY

like all things Disney, Pixar & select DCOMS

esp hsmtmts one of my many new found obsessions

also i love disneyland (los angeles born and raised baybee) 

i also like rollercoasters in general & universal studios is fun~

im a little into star wars been a slow and steady incline 

Marvel

but mostly

Bucky

Steve

Peter, both Parker & Quill

and the rest of the Guardians

ATLA

Zutara

if u shit on zutara u can go byebye idc if you ship kataang just don’t be a dick about zutara ok? ok.

also u MUST STAN APPA,TOPH,&SUKI

also huru but only pre-mustache 

all the Harry Potter things

but fuck JK Rowling frfr cos shes a nasty ass trifilin ass bitch 

the og hp books 1-7 are honestly the only relevant things shes ever produced

MUSICALS

including but not limited to

anything written by Lin Manuel including 21 Chump Street aka his best work

Heathers

Hadestown

Dear Evan Hansen

Wicked

Waitress 

Newsies

The Last Five Years

Mamma Mia

Beetlejuice

AND MANY MORE

One Direction (yes i know judge me)

but mostly Harry Styles and Fine Line

5sos minus the fandom because theyre problematic as fuck rn! 

pop punk trash

mostly State Champs

Neck Deep

All Time Low

Alex & Jack’s podcast/streamcast

We The Kings

Simple Plan

the list goes on but i’m getting annoying

also artists like

Tori Kelly

Kehlani

P!atd & Brendon

use those artists as genre/vibe reference lol

AND FINALLY SHOWS

i’m currently watching the Marvel TV shows but i can’t binge daredevil for some reason

but i am 100% in love with Mattew Murdock don’t get it twisted

i am SPN trash although i have to rewatch the last few seasons i don’t know wtf is going on anymore

NEW GIRL

NICK MILLER IS THE LOML

himym is up there

yes i’m friends trash idgaf judgey/bad vibes are not acceptable on this blog idc idc

b99

jake & amy are top tier otp

and Rosa’s very important to me

i aspire to be like the Gilmore Girls

except for rory’s probematicness at the end/in the reboot

ONE TREE HILL i will still title it the best show ever its… so good and also just sentimental to me because its the first show my sister and i really watched tg 

also watched like all of Grey’s because my mom was obsessed 

AND honorable mentions to these shows that i finished oh so long ago

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 

SMALLVILLE

i <3 the following netflix ogs

One Day At A Time (i havent watched anything since netflix released them tho oop) 

On My Block

The Get Down (i will never forgive you or netflix for letting this show die) 

Lucifer

The Umbrella Academy (even though i don’t remember jack shit about whats going on) 

Disjointed

Stranger Things

The Haunting of Hill House

i got mixed feelings ab ‘You’

started but did not finish

(edit: adding cos how could i forget) TEENWOLF

the 100

vampire diaries

the originals

Jane the Virgin

AND here r some miscellaneous bullshit things i’m into 

i do be sewing my own clothes thats kinda a new hobby though but we fucks it 

i like baking stuff… just cookies and brownies are my favorite thing on the planet 

i play a few instruments (piano, bass, uke & guitar) but i am very not good at any of them and yes i will obnoxiously sing whenever given the chance 

i am semi obsessed with makeup because my older sister is a licensed makeup artist 

which also means i love beauty gurus my current favs are 

kathleen lights

jackie aina 

& the queen herself 

mykie aka glam and gore 

so yes i also like fx makeup and creepy tingz 

another random youtube fav of mine is drawfee 

theyre very funny and wholesome i love them dearly 

AND ALSO i am… definitely a stoner 

100% a stoner 

i love the weeds

but its not a forefront in my personality cos i am much more annoying about several other things 

AND YEAH THATS ME! i think that who i am is compiled of all the things i like, the characters i relate to and the media i let flood my senses on a day to day basis– you feel? 

anyways i hope this actually gets me somewhere instead of just mad annoying all of my followers 

I LOVE YOU ALL PLEASE BE MY FRIEND 

[hongism]

okay hi. so. first of all this incredible and stunning banner was made by the talented and lovely @hobiance​! the banner at the bottom was made by the equally talented and lovely thot @franklytae​, and i’m so so grateful to both of them for helping me out with this and am really touched to have their creations on this post. now. it is absolutely unreal that i am making this post. it’s crazy to see how my blog and i have grown in the past year and a half, and im so grateful for every single one of you who follows me, whether you are an active follower or not. also this is absolutely insane because in just six months you all have made my following nearly quadruple and that’s absolutely bonkers on so many levels. while 2020 has been tumultuous for us all, i cannot argue the fact that it has been my best year on tumblr so far. 

i have been able to meet so many fantastic people, grow friendships, grow my skills as a writer, gain confidence, and i have found friendships that are so treasured and valuable in so many ways. i’m really so so grateful for this platform and for the opportunity to share my work here with you all.

i really don’t know how to verbalize how i’m feeling because on one hand, followers are just a number and it’s unimportant in the long run. on the other hand i truly am grateful for every single one off you and i want you to know how grateful i am. but i really don’t want this to be about me because i really wouldn’t be on tumblr still without the people i’ve met along the way. through tumblr i have found lifelong friends who are beautiful inside and out and i will never stop being grateful to know them and walk this path alongside them. it’s truly a blessing and i feel so so lucky to get to know them. cue the ridiculously long tags of people whom i love and cherish so so much. i apologize in advance because no matter how many times i stare at this post and try to remember and get every single person who is valuable to me, i know i will inevitable forget someone so i am very very sorry if i miss anyone.

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓂𝓊𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@hobicomeholla29 @thatmultifandomhoe @yoongi-sugaglider @strawbxxymilk @meowxyoong @blondenamjin​ @dee-ehn​ @a-tiny-8iny​ @atiny-dazzlinglight​ @atiny-piratequeen​ @atiny-wooyoung​ @kesmonster​ @theredcarat​ @enchantedyeo​ @seonghwabrainworms​ @jintobean​ @jinterlude​ @joonsrack​ @moonmintrails​ @inkedxclouds​ @koophoriia​ @kimcritique​ @moonpjms​ @daechwlta​ @suhdays​ @ppersonna​ @vivpurple7​ @ironicarmy​ @joopiterjoon​ @btsxdoll​ @btsbiaswreckedwriting​ @minniepetals​ @chillingtae​ @searchingtae​ @ladyartemesia​ @staerrylights​ and many others who i literally cannot for the life of me remember right when it’s important aoifdjjioejsoi some of you guys i only really talk to on discord, but i think that’s where i talk to people the most anyways. i know im really bad at following people so i may miss a few of you here and there, but know that our friendship through tumblr and discord is so valuable and important to me and im grateful for all of you 💕

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@yolokoo​ @franklytae

hhhhh you two little shits honestly i know i won’t be able to tell the two of you how much you mean to me because words are Hard. still i am so so lucky to know the two of you and so so lucky to be able to be friends with you two. y’all know i would swing so fucking hard for you that i would dislocate a shoulder but it would be worth in. i love you both so so much and know that no matter what paths we all take in life, i will always be here to support you and cheer you on along the way

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓀𝑒𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓇𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@hobiance @miamorjoon​

lainey within ten minutes of meeting you on discord i married you iajoidfoisdjfo. honestly that’s the boldest i’ve ever been, but i’m really grateful that i stepped out of my comfort zone and interacted with you because if not i would be missing out on such a crazy crackhead amazing friendship that’s filled with rats and roaches and annoying atlas bc we love her. sometimes it’s scary how similar we are but i love our late night crazy music sessions and your passion for cowboys 🐀🤠

atlas i honestly do Not remember how we met aoidjfoij pls don’t be offended i don’t remember how i meet anyone. i only remember meeting lainey because she reminded me of it the other day. but anyways i am super glad that we started talking because you’re one of tha craziest wackiest zackiest ladiez i’ve ever met and you really unleash the inner crazy in me (in a good way i swear). even though you tell me to shut up most of the time, you are seriously one of my fav writers out there and so knowing you and being your friend is seriously w o a h and a blessing for sure 🐀

*•.¸♡ ✧ 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓈 ✧ ♡¸.•*

@jamaisjoons @honeymoonjin @ddaenggtan @cest-la-tae​ @bangtiddies​ @mygsii @mindays @luxekook @floralsuga 

oh god i hope im not forgetting anyone hhafhiuehisuda oKAY you each are super duper special to me in your own special way and i could sit here for literally hours and ramble on about how much i love each of you. the basic fact of the matter is that each of you have impacted me and my life in some way.

sol, sora, bette - i am so lucky to have been able to meet you and work alongside you and talk to you daily. it’s normally extremely hard to work with friends or make friends through work, but i got so lucky with you guys and am so blessed to get to talk to each of you and know you ((special thanks to sol for Obey Me and 7 demon daddies)) ((another special thanks to backbone bette for having the courage to speak up when no one else does)) ((one more super special thanks to miss sora who is the kindest and sweetest ball of uwu i’ve ever known and Stan the Man the Icon and the limbless basketball game story remains Iconic))

dAIJA gahhh im so lucky to know you, you are such a valuable and incredible friend. you have a huge heart and you’re always looking out for other people. as much as i love screaming about hyunjin and victon with you, i really love just getting to chat with you in general because you’re so sweet and loving :ragecry:

e m i omg i wish i could remember when we first started talking bc i feel like it was some crackhead energy but honestly i feel like we have that crackhead energy 24/7. i really love listening to your stories because you have such a knack for storytelling which duh of course you do you’re an actress you know how to tell a story, but also you are just fun and exciting to get to talk to.

renae my lovely spiritual girlfriend you are such a wholesome sweet soul on every level w o w you have a heart of gold and you are so talented and wonderful as well, truly the whole package and a half, and you are such a good friend. somehow i only recently found out that you’re a multi but having listening parties with you (even if discord doesn’t tell us we’re listening together) is so fun and i just love chatting with you

reese omg i dont appreciate how you attack me with jisung and hyunjin but we are linked because we both switched to jungkook urls aoijsdfoij you’re such a fun person to talk to and i love getting to talk to you more and getting to know you better because you’re so sweet and loving and have a love of tea that rivals emi’s and mine which is crazy

monday mondayyyyyyy omg i remember the first time we talked was in a kakao chat about the flower shop story and i was Shook because i loVE your works and you were talking about how you liked mine and i was internally p a n i c k so bad ajflkjflk but after that we started getting to know each other better and we started the bee gang then we bonded over piercings and honestly you are just such a cool gal. like wow a queen. idek what else to say other than you are so cool i wish i was half as cool as you asoifjiof but really ily lots uwu

and last but really absolutely not least, mr. beau. wow i feel like it’s been such a long time since we met and started talking to each other. you were one of the very first people i talked to on tumblr, and you welcomed me so swiftly and with open arms. i know i can really rely on you and trust you, you are such a valuable friend, and i love being able to talk with you. i am so beyond proud of you, i know both alex and i are so so proud and happy for you, and i am so proud to be able to watch you grow into the person you are and deadass im crying rn just because im so proud and lucky to have been able to talk with you and help you. you know things about me that no one else does hehe and you are truly such a valuable and wonderful friend on so many levels. i will always always always be able to say that i am proud to be your friend and proud to know you 🤧

[byeimmoving]

How did you decide that person was terf/fash? I don't see anything on there blog about it. Just want to be sure

You can literally search a word terf on her blog and you'll see stuff like "I love terfs but I wouldn't call myself a radical feminist". You can't take this out of context who in their right mind would say that even as a joke lol. But other than that I understand that fashs and terf most of the time can be extremely hard to distinguish, especially if you're new here and didn't really look into the subject. I remember there was a masterpost about how to tell exactly if op's a fascist but I can't find it rn :( so here are some tips from a big personal experience:

OP posts tons of memes from 4chan. Blog we are talking about had a tag for that even. Images of dudes hugging their l*li (child p*rn) body pillows as a satire or smthng.

Between pictures of cute cats or landscapes you'll see leather or latex p*rn.

Also gore or animal remains.

I think they're more careful with symbolism now, but again, they love posting offensive shit disguised as funny memes. And that content or symbolism is never openly antisemitic or swastikas as you might imagine. They're very specific and sorry I can't think of a good example to bring if anyone has a good example adding it to this post will be appreciated <3.

You'll smell a fascist when you come across one when you see nothing about BLM movement on their blog. Or other social problems either. Their blog is nothing but kittens, landscapes and vore p*rn in between. The biggest red flag.

Terf are usually super annoying and you'll know exactly what kind of degenerate you're dealing with. But it's harder to tell when blog is run by a nazi and they're more dangerous because of that. You have my word that no nazi supports trans rights

[shyung-shoes]

tagged by the absolutely wonderful @kyunsies <3333 (i didnt know u changed ur url till this post!! its v cute!!)

20 questions!!

1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?

my full name is jillian but everyone calls me jill (except my family, especially my mom) i love nicknames tho but have never really had one beyond jill so if u give me a nickname ill die

2. when is your birthday?

aug 28

3. where do you live

east coast babyyyy

4. three things u are doing right now?

procrastinating on an assignment, watching a drama (while you were sleeping), and ignoring the basket of laundry i need to put away

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

apink, gwsn, astro, april!! im still very new to all these groups tho so if anyone has any content/music recs, please lemme know :D

6. how's this pandemic been treating you?

it was a lot harder at first w/ the sudden transition from college to home. i was super happy at school and it was rough on my brain to be back home. but now ive adapted more and am doing better! i cant wait to go back to school though god

7. a song u cant stop listening to right now?

gonna reveal the extremes of my music taste but uh after the bloom (alone) by gwsn and bonfire by childish gambino. also without me by eminem. idk i think ive been feeling very angry/annoyed so rap is just a good way to get it out. and ive been fuckin so hard w/ gwsn’s discography that i had to put them on here

8. recommend a movie

tune in for love! truthfully, i prefer watching tv to movies but i watched this the other day and really enjoyed it! very cute and the ending was an actually satisfying ambiguous ending which is rare i think. its on netflix :P

9. how old are u?

18- im almost always the baby among my friends :// and i think im the baby on here a lot too

10. school, university, occupation, other?

im a rising sophomore in college and currently working as a dance teacher and waiting to hear back about an internship that’s actually in my field (event managment)

11. do u prefer heat or cold?

cold! i run hot naturally so i overheat super easily and i hate that feeling of sweating and being lightheaded. winter fashion also is much more my speed with boots and big jackets and darker lip colors

12. name one fact others may not know about u

im in a sorority! i think one or two people may know on here but i dont talk a lot about it. gamma phi baby (also @kyunsies youre only 4′11?? a baby!!)

13. are u shy?

i wouldnt call myself shy, im just anxious so im much more quiet when i meet someone for the first couple times. once im comfy w/ someone, my personality really comes out for all its dramatic glory

14. do u have preferred pronouns?

she/her

15. biggest pet peeve?

almost all my pet peeves have to do w/ eating lolol cause i get really bad anxiety and sensory overload from things like chewing sounds. so when people eat with their mouths open or let their silverware scrape across their teeth frustrates the hell out of me. the last one feels very specific but it irritates me yeet

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

tsundere or dandere i guess?? when a character starts to open bc of their love interest... i love it. ESPECIALLY when that character then becomes more open w/ other people because of their love. this also probably explains my natural tendency to love scorpios i think

17. rate your life 1-10, 1 being rlly crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be

i think im a solid 7 rn! which is honestly a lot better than i wouldve given it a month ago so thats a plus. im struggling w/ some mental health things rn but honestly, im pretty content with the way things seem to be unfolding for me

18. what’s your main blog?

this one! its not my actual main blog but this is the only one i use, tumblr just wont let me make this my main bc its dumb

19. list your side blogs and wha they’re used for?

i had a voltron side blog back in 2017? i think? but i havent watched the show in years bc its problematic as fuck i just didnt realize it back then

20. is there anything u think people need to know about u before becoming friends with u?

i am an extremely inconsistent responder- i am the epitome of the will respond in 2 seconds or 2 days thing but i will always respond to your message at some point. if this is about friends irl, its that i always have an earbud in and thats not an exaggeration- listening to music always makes me less anxious so i constantly just have an earbud in in case i feel myself get jittery. so i promise i am paying attention even if it doesnt look like it- im top tier at being able to pay attention to a song and a conversation

ill tag... @wennjunhui @leexchan @iiasha @lovechwe @1of1orbit @agemnor(theres ofc no pressure!!! <33)

[aloneandunreal]

july 6, 20

i’m surprised it’s already july. for some reason time is flying, even though i haven’t been doing anything and have been bored to death. but hello, here i am with another entry although nobody reads them. which, again, is fine. this blog is for me and me only, but if others want to follow me, that’s okay too of course.

last time i wrote about feeling sad about friendships and social anxiety and overall just regrets i have about myself and my life. i am here again, i believe, to do the exact same thing. i’m not as sad as i was last time, but honestly i always have this weird sadness to me. 

any who, i’ve been thinking about my online friendships a lot lately. with someone in particular, to be more specific. i’ve had online friends for my entire life. i was always on the computer or on texting apps like kik and facetime talking to people who i didn’t even know in real life. some of these online friends were a fun time. there was this one girl i knew from a virtual game called ‘outworld’ and we met when i was about 9 or 10. we stayed friends for an incredibly long time, and she was the one who introduced me to ‘emo’ music, and got me more into it. sometimes she wasn’t the best friend, but you can’t expect too much from online friends... they’re online, after all. i haven’t spoken to her since, probably 2016 and i believe she graduated this year. it’s weird thinking about that since i knew her ever since she was 10/11. i doubt we’ll ever come in contact again, but i think of her from time to time, even though she most likely does not think of me. maybe she doesn’t even remember me. i always seem to be caught up on people and things in the past... people who don’t think of me ever. 

nonetheless, i’ve had plenty of online friends throughout the years. the time i had a bunch of online friends was probably when i was 12/13. there were a decent amount of people and i wonder what they’re doing now. there was this one kid i was friends with who i talked to mostly on facetime (though we never actually FaceTimed, just chatted). i remember when i went on vacation to north carolina that summer, when everyone was asleep, i’d stay up texting him for hours, even though i was tired. our friendship faded a bit after that. we talked on Instagram from time to time, but now we don’t talk at all. i honestly don’t really like him as a person anymore; his views don’t align with mine. doesn’t matter though, it’s not like we’ll be speaking again. he also graduated this year.

another “friend” i had was this guy who might be a bit tough to talk about. i was around twelve/thirteen when i met him, and he was eighteen/nineteen. we both liked similar music and he was a nice guy to talk to. we played iMessage games and FaceTimed from time to time. the thing was, i was hardly a teen. and he was over eighteen. why was he interested in talking to someone my age? at the time, that didn’t bother me, but now it does. our friendship was fun for the first few months, until he started to get vaguely sexual with me. he asked me to call him “daddy”, and when i laughed at him, he played it off as a joke at first. then was the time when he told me he had something important to tell me. he was addicted to p*rn. which... why the hell would he tell me that? this made me slightly uncomfortable but i went along with it. then was the huge instance, the one that finally made me cut ties with him. i’d been complaining about not having much money, and wished i could buy stuff online. he proposed the idea to me that, if i sent him videos or pictures of myself with hardly any clothes on, or very revealing clothes, he’d pay me. i actually contemplated this. but thank god i said no. i remember texting the girl who i mentioned above, and told her about him. she was like “what the fuck, block him” and so i did. blocked him on everything. that was the last time we spoke, and i remember he tried contacting me before giving up. it’s still scary how i thought this man was a “friend” when in reality it was just grooming. just because it was online doesn’t make in any less disgusting. it makes me sad thinking of it, and even worse sometimes when i kind of wish i could text him again. it’s not like i didn’t enjoy his company and texts; i did. i liked talking to him. but obviously when he asked for nudes that made me so uncomfortable for me. it makes me mad at myself for thinking like that, but thankfully i don’t do that anymore. there were other times that he said weird things like, “do you squeeze your boobs when you’re naked?” and i was like “ew no” as any thirteen year old girl would reply. i remember he said something along the lines of, “you will when you get older”. there was also this time when we were snap chatting and he sent me a picture of him smiling, with a girl in the background who he was FaceTiming. she looked the same age as me. he said he was chatting to “another one of his friends” but obviously this was just another girl he was grooming just as he did me. i of course have not spoken to him since, and never will. it’s incredibly disgusting, especially since i was hardly thirteen. which he KNEW. eighteen/nineteen wasn’t as bad as if he was like, thirty or something, but it still wasn’t right. this honestly was a big moment in my life, and i think of it from time to time. i feel so bad for some thirteen year old girl going through the same thing right now, thinking this grown man is her “friend” and “understands her”, but there’s nothing i can do about it. i guess this was just one of the many life lessons i had to experience, though i wish i hadn’t been exposed to it the way i had.

i had other online friends around the same age as this man, probably people who i shouldn’t have been talking to at that age. there was this one guy in specific who, though our friendship didn’t last for long, stuck with me for some reason. i met him on a virtual world, and he was some twenty-something guy who loved metal/emo music. i did as well at the time, so we bonded over that, and would go on this site called rabb.it (i think that’s what it was called) to share music and talk. we also talked on FaceTime (but never actually FaceTimed). he didn’t know my age, so i guess he assumed i was older than i actually was. i remember he told me he was so suicidal and wanted help, so i told him he should try and get help, which he did at one point. this is so weird to think about now; this man really took advice from a thirteen year old girl. was talking to a  thirteen year old girl, even though he didn’t realize it. our “friendship” is kind of hazy, and i don’t remember much of it, but it wasn’t long-lasting or anything like some of the others. i hope he is doing at least somewhat okay now. i don’t know why i am thinking of him.

but yes, there were manyyy different online friends i had. i smile and think about our friendships sometimes, and how some of them seriously had impacted my life, even though they were just online. more recently i guess (three years ago isn’t recently but it’s more recent than any of these other people i’ve been talking about) i met another online friend. she impacted my life as well, and we were so close that we considered each other best friends and said “i love you” so easily. we bonded over music, which is how we became friends in the first place. we began to lose touch in my sophomore year of high school, and really didn’t talk much at all my junior year. i remember messaging her a few days after her birthday, apologizing profusely because i’d missed it, and also writing a large paragraph saying i still appreciated her and hoped we could talk more in the future. she left me on seen, which i was upset about at first. i wondered if she was mad at me? after much contemplation, i messaged her again, and she apologized, saying she forgot to reply. i don’t know if this was true or not but in the moment i didn’t care. we chatted, and it was just so easy to talk with her. i missed it. our conversations went so smoothly, i felt like i could tell her anything. we didn’t talk too much after this. the only reason i’m mentioning this is because i messaged her once again on some online site, and she replied once, but then not again. either she forgot about it or was just ignoring me, which i was really upset about for some reason. i don’t want to message her again, that’s just plain annoying. she wished me happy birthday, but made me no playlist, even though she did every year before that. i know we’re not good friends anymore, but i expected a bit more, considering i made her a playlist. i’m just sad about our friendship, and with her. i’ve been trying so hard to start talking to her again, but she only comes through once in a blue moon. which is hard. i feel i’m the only one putting in effort; trying to start conversation and all. she still posts, even though my message is left unanswered. one thing she posted was something about “wanting to have a real conversation with somebody” ... wasn’t i? and she also said something like “back a few years ago i had hardly any friends on this site, but now i do :)” which hurt a bit since i thought i was at least kind of special to her. i guess not. i don’t know why i expect(ed) more, she’s an online friend after all. i just wish i could talk to her again, but at the same time wish she would be the one who messaged me first/put in effort. i don’t exactly know where our friendship is going to go. probably no where, even though i’ve tried so hard to pick it up again. i know our friendship won’t be the same as it was all those years ago, but i at least want to become better friends, and chat more, even if it’s not every day like we used to. it just hurts a bit, knowing it won’t be the same. even though i feel i’m trying so hard. i wonder if she just.. doesn’t like me? it just sucks. i don’t know what’s going to happen with us. and the funny thing is, she’s probably not worrying about this at all, probably doesn’t even care if we speak again or not. probably never thinks of me. but then look at me, thinking of her. i hate it. i probably mentioned this in my last entry, but i hate putting in so much effort and not getting the same or at least somewhat of the same amount of effort back. it’s hard knowing i’m not the #1 in someone’s life. knowing i’m nothing special to any friend - online or not - that hurts.

again, i don’t know why i am always thinking of these online friends from the past. i mean nothing to them. but for some reason i always think back on them, smiling at the memories we had, but then frowning realizing the very last time i talked to them was almost five years ago.

as for real life friends, i already spoke about that in my last entry. but one friend i thought about recently was this girl who i once called my best friend. i don’t want to get into the specifics, considering i’ve probably already spoken about her. but, originally, i did not miss her. but now for some reason i do. i’m looking at snapchat memories, seeing photos of us smiling and joking around. that was one of the last times i had a “best friend” and friend group. i don’t miss her that much, considering she was quite toxic. but we did have some good times together, i’m not going to deny that. 

another thing i’ve been thinking about recently is the fact that there’s been a few people who were interested in being friends with me, but i either pushed them away because i was focused on someone else, i was oblivious, or because i just wasn’t interested. there have been a few instances of that. first one being this girl in my ninth grade English class. she obviously wanted to be friends with me, and even said “hey i think we should hang out outside of school!” but i was too dumb and was concentrating on being friends with some other girl i thought was cool, so that never happened. we were always friendly in english, but never more than that. i saw her this year i believe in the bathroom and she smiled at me. it was over two years ago that we were in english together, and i doubt she wants to be friends. it’s was just such a missed opportunity. i became friends with the girl who i was preoccupied with at the time, but now she’s gone too. karma for me i guess? 

another person was this guy who i was friendly with in eighth grade. he texted me a decent amount that summer (before ninth grade), but upon seeing him in real life, he just... pretended he didn’t know me? his friends kept saying he had a crush on me, and that i should say something, even though i didn’t have romantic feelings for him at all. he was the one with the crush, he should be approaching me. it was a bit weird to me, especially when he digitally drew multiple photos of me, even though i never asked. his friends continued to say he had a crush on me, which i now kind of believed but wasn’t going to “make a move” because i wasn’t into him (he didn’t even talk to me in real life!) apparently, his friends made this cruel joke that he had a crush on me. i guess it was more to make him embarrassed, but for me it was quite embarrassing too. i thought this guy liked me, but i guess it was just a joke to them. i still wonder if maybe he DID have a crush on me, but his friends said it was a joke? i don’t know, it’s confusing. he continued to talk to me a bit (texting, of course), but we didn’t talk much throughout my sophomore year and not at all my junior year. he probably has lost feelings by now, if he had any in the first place, that is. but now for some reason i kind of wish we talked more, even if it wasn’t romantically. just in a friendly type of way. doubt he wants that, though. it’s such a confusing, immature thing that happened, but i just wanted to mention it since lately i’ve been feeling like i might’ve missed out on something.

speaking of ninth grade, i can’t believe this year is my last. it’s not going to be a normal year, as i well know. because of corona and all. but nonetheless it’s weird thinking that it’s all going to be over. i think about freshman year a lot, considering how terrible and depressed i was that year. at the same time, though, i had some very... interesting, to say the least, experiences. and now next year will be my last. time seriously flew. i wonder if my teachers from freshman year now, what they’d think. i remember being terrified of my english teacher for some reason, but i genuinely loved his class, even though i struggled because of how depressed i was. i don’t think he loved me or anything, but he definitely must have thought i was an interesting person. for some reason i always bring myself back to that class. back with that girl who once wanted to be my friend, fooling around, but also sleeping on my desk sometimes. i still am kind of intimidated by him for some reason, and don’t even know why i’m talking about his class. i guess because it was one of the more interesting english classes i’ve had so far in middle school AND high school. i remember specifically, in the last couple of weeks of my freshman year, seeing this one kid, a senior, come in and ask my english teacher for his autograph in the year book. i realized one day that might be me. for some reason, ever since, i’ve been waiting for the moment to ask him, even though i’m so intimidated by him. and even though he didn't even really like me. it’s so weird, and i don’t know why i feel this way. but oh well, with corona right now, it doesn’t look like i’m going to be having a regular school year. but yeah, i can’t believe it’s really almost over. i still have a whole year of course, which i’m still terrified of even though it’s my last year and i’m “at the top.” i’m just terrified of college and the real world. i want to get out of this town and become a new person, but how? the person i am now could likely never survive in the real world.

anyway, this is getting long, and it’s basically just been me rambling about things i regret and other really random specifics that i’ve been thinking about / have been sad about lately. i never really understood why i’m like this; so nostalgic and sentimental about every little thing, even if it was a bad time in my life. i guess this quarantine has just left me a lot of time to think and contemplate about my life, school isn’t here to distract me anymore from the future and from my insecurities and fears. not that it totally distracted me; but at least it was something i could do that wasn’t being stuck in my own brain. i know i said i’m making this blog to vent and also for my older self to read. if older ava ever reads this, which i doubt she will since it’s so long, well hi. i hope you’re different now. what’s the world like? what happened after high school? did the world end (well, you can’t really answer that, can you?). and remember in seventh grade when you wrote that letter to your sister asking questions about the future? and the type of person you turned out to be? i can answer most of those questions now. i guess that’s what i’m doing now - writing stuff about my current life so my future self can see it. maybe i’ll make a more private letter at some point, not on tumblr. but for now this is what i have. i actually wrote this email to myself that’s supposed to be delivered in five years. i wonder where i’ll be at. it’s scary, but also kind of exciting. in a few years from now, you’ll be reading this entry, or reading something i’ve written. i wonder what you will think. i hope things are different. i hope you’re not this sad, isolated girl. i hope you can do better. but i also remember saying the same thing in the letter i wrote in seventh grade, and the same damn thing ended up happening. still the same, sad girl i was then, except maybe worse. anyway, as i said at the beginning of the paragraph, this is getting incredibly long. i talked about a bunch of randomness in this entry. most of it was stupid, but i can’t help what i feel sad about. 

well, that’s all for now. see ya next time, in my next entry. and future ava, if you’re reading this, hi i guess. for some reason, at the end of this entry, i guess it turned into a letter to my future self. and this is also incredibly random but i’m sorry high school didn’t go how you wanted it to go. i hope that you lived out some of your high school dreams in college. or maybe you’ll never see this, because the world will end. maybe you will see this, though. please do something for yourself, future me, that the person i am now would want you to do. bye for now.