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amarayys · 2 months ago

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DRDT CHP 2 EPISODE 15 REACTIONS - SO OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS

disclaimer - this post is quite long. like 12 doc pages long. so yeah

in this post, i predicted that the culprit would be ace. and, well....yeah! IT WAS!!! AND I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT THAT!!!! AND IM REALLY HOPING THAT THE FACT THAT AREI'S MISSING GLOVE AND THE MISSING SCRUM DEBATE DONT MEAN ANYTHING!!!

....i got it right.

I ACTUALLY GOT IT RIGHT??? NO FUCKING WAY???

Anyway, I'm gonna make a short post (post editing amari here - this post is in no way short. why did i think it would be???) of my reactions to the episode. And trust me, there were reactions.

Ace: You're going to call me the murderer just because Eden said so?! That's so inane I don't even know where to start!

...I feel ashamed to admit I had to google what "inane" means. Basically, it means "Lacking sense or meaning," which, true, actually! I can't deny suspecting Ace JUST because of Eden's crying is a little weird. Not to say that Eden is malicious or something, though.

J: I'm not saying Eden did it, but are you sure the killer is Ace?

This line isn't insanely relevant or something, I just wanted to point out that I was pretty confused here. Why is J defending Ace??? Uh???

Eden: It was him! (Ace) He was the one stalking me!

Aha, I thought so! I've seen a few people theorise that the person "stalking" Eden was the culprit, and I agree. It just makes the most sense - so I'm glad we were right!

Teruko: Could it be that Ace switched targets from Eden to Arei? (paraphrased)

Oh, I didn't even consider that! We see later in the trial this isn't true, but I'm surprised that nobody (to my knowledge) brought this theory up. Though I don't really see why he would switch targets.

Ace: S-so?! Nico could have taken it or lied about the fish disappearing. (paraphrased)

100% True! But Ace seems to be using this argument solely to accuse Nico...which he sure does a lot. While screaming. A lot.

*discussion about ace making a murder plan after nearly being murdered*

Teruko makes a good point here - He could have made the plan the day following his near-murder.

Teruko: Most people wouldn't like going back to the scene of their almost-murder. (paraphrased)

...Teruko, you're projecting. Hard. Like, really hard.

Ace: ...

Ace: Y-yeah! Exactly! There's no reason for me to take the tape unless I made a plan to kill her in a few seconds. (paraphrased)

Hesitation spotted! And a stutter! I freaked out over this on call for no reason, but that is VERY suspicious, dude.

Arturo: Who uses non-medical tape for first aid? That's sickening.

Teruko: It's not that weird, I do it all the time.

...AUWVGGHHHHH. Teruko you make me ILL. This is probably referencing how she didn't have money for medical supplies in the regular world so she had to use regular tape for wounds, since her luck hurts her often, which cannot be good/safe for injuries. I nearly cried here, because I'm very dramatic when it comes to Teruko. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Ace: What is this, some sort of Devil's Pubes?

...What the fuck?? What??? I am not kidding when I tell you I was drinking water during this line and fucking choked. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? HELLO?? CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT HE MEANT??

Ace: Everyone is always attacking me for stupid reasons. (paraphrased)

He's not wrong, actually. Everyone is always attacking him - Though not always for stupid reasons.

Ace: Do you even hear yourself right now? I'm a murderer because of my "personality"?!

I've got to agree with him here - that's a pretty stupid argument to make. As much as I don't want to slander Min, did her personality seem like the type to murder?

Teruko: Show me your neck scars.

...That's a little invasive, no?

*discussion about scratched neck*

I also believe some people pointed out Ace's bloody fingers, but I haven't seen anyone mention scratches on his neck! To be fair, that is a VERY small detail that's quite easy to miss.

Teruko: But you probably never forgot. After all, you have to live with your scars every day. Even if you've been pretending it's fine, it still hurts, right? (paraphrased)

...Ohmygod she's projecting again. Is she insecure about her scars?? Or do they just remind her of bad situations? Teruko, I love you so so much you make me SOB.

Ace: I thought I was supposed to be the stupidest one here! What the fuck is this?!

...He just called himself stupid. He is NOT beating the idiot allegations.

the whole veronika spiel**

Well, yeah, I'd imagine being almost murdered is somewhat traumatising.

turpentine, jockey and strangling arguements:

This post is going to get VERY long soon, so sorry for the massive skip lmao.

Turpentine: Correct - How would have Ace kept Arei unharmed apart from her neck wounds without her being unconscious due to turpentine? I really don't have any clue.

Strangling: Strangling her?? I didn't see THAT coming. But yeah, I suppose it works. I really don't have much to say here, tbh.

Jockey: Basically, Ace is stronger than Eden and can therefore knock her out. True, I suppose, but it's a shaky argument based off assumptions.

Charles: Ace was trying to imitate Nico's murder.

I can see this being the case - Ace using that to frame Nico. Ace HAS been blaming Nico quite a bit, huh?

Ace's injury argument*

Good points made by both Eden (for some reason??) and Teruko. Yes, Ace was bleeding out and in a lot of pain, but the wound was not severe enough to limit either his speech or his movement. The murder might have hurt, but he'd be able to do it.

J: Isn't Ace...too stupid?

I burst out laughing...that's quite direct, J! But also mean. Ace is literally right there. Also, that is not a proper argument!

Ace's whole dignity thing*

Jeez, I used to despise Ace, but I'm liking him more and more. He has some really funny lines, and his development is REALLY good.

I think it's super interesting that ACE, who everyone believes is dumb and rude and unable to take criticism, is letting himself be called stupid for the sake of being declared innocent. It really shows how his character is more than just "I'm rude and I hate you all!" DRDTDev, your writing is so good.

Charles' explanation*

Now, I'm split on this part.

For one, I agree that his IQ would not have much to do with how Ace carried out the murder and is irrelevant. However, the whole argument of "Ace rides horses, he is strong!" thing isn't really accurate - in chapter 1, he describes how he never actually practices jockeying.

**also, the acevi fans are in pain. i see you looking at how levi said ace wasnt dumb. I SEE YOU

Non-stop debate with ball of clothes as bullet*

I was WONDERING WHEN THE CLOTHES WOULD COME IN!! Again, I'm not original, so I've seen theories regarding the ball being thrown over the railing. But...the railings pretty high. I don't think you could just throw it.

Bullet is used*

Oh, so Teruko is using the "ball of clothes was thrown" argument? It still seems very high up..

Ace: How could I have thrown it up that high?

Aha, so they are addressing that issue! I'm glad.

Ace tangent*

Again, I'm sorry for having to reduce this AMAZING character development down to a "tangent", but this post is already WAYYY too long.

He definitely has a point, though. Just because he's a jockey doesn't automatically make him the murderer. Just because he's somewhat athletic doesn't mean he could've thrown the ball of clothes.

And, as much as I REALLY don't want to admit this...Teruko's reasoning for siding with Eden was a little shaky. At first, Teruko believed Eden because Eden believed her in the first trial. Adorable, yes, but you could argue that was unfair towards Ace. However, there is definitely concrete evidence against Ace at this point and Teruko is valid for siding with Eden at this point in the trial.

Not to say I don't understand why Teruko sided with her - I totally understand. And she did say she'd keep an open mind. I still love how this was all done - Teruko siding with Eden was a nice touch.

Argument Armament or however the fuck its spelt.*

Wait what?? I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING\??? that AA came out of absolutely nowhere but i am here for it! The art is fantastic as always - i especially love the horse!

Final blow; using a sling shot*

...I'm sorry? What??

OH! THE FITNESS BAND!

I knew it must've come in somewhere! This trial has been so satisfying so far...God I love this fangan.

So, Ace tied the fitness band around the...bar things in the playgroud and flung the ball of clothes up. ...I still don't really get it, but it's definitely better than just yanking it up there!

Teruko, interrupting Ace: SHUT UP, ACE!

...eh? EH??? TERUKO??

Teruko: Do you even understand what this class trial is? Tell me, how do we decide who's the murderer? We determine who lives and dies by a majority vote. YTTD REF?? In other words, the opinion of everyone who *isn't* you.

I...woah. I didn't see that coming. Like, at all. Let's see what else she has to say.

Teruko: Who cares where you stored the water jugs? That doesn't matter. (paraphrased)

Um...I'm pretty sure it matters, Teruko. Though I can see where she's coming from - she wants this trial over with and she thinks discussing minor details is a waste of time.

This line makes you seem like the culprit, but she has protag privileges, so yeah. Just Teruko going off again.

Teruko: The point of the trial is to determine who the killer is, not to determine every single little detail of what happened.

Aha, so I'm correct. She doesn't want to discuss "minor details".

Teruko: It doesn't matter that you're not convinced. It's not going to help you, nor change your fate. No matter how you feel or what you think, nothing will change.

You think that your whining and screaming is going to change our minds? That if you call us all stupid and wrong, we're going to magically decide to not vote for you out of the goodwill of our hearts?

...Okay, so. I think she's projecting here. Again. She knows that screaming wont do anything for him - It never did anything for her. She knows that people vote stop deciding the culprit's you out of the goodwill of her heart - They didn't do that for her.

Maybe I'm reaching, who knows.

Teruko: Come on Ace! Don't you want to live?! Defend yourself!

Oh, she's desperate. She really wants to be wrong here, huh? She doesn't really want him to be a culprit.

Ace: I'm such a piece of shit.

...is that a confession?? IS IT??

Ace: Yeah, you're right. There's no way I'm making it out this trial alive.

Okay this could still be interpreted as him just giving up on trying to find the actual culprit but-

Ace: I killed Arei. That's exactly right.

....OH. I...WHAT??

That...wow. I don't even know what to say! Before this point in the trial, I was kind of suspicious he was an accomplice, but hey...that's a confession for sure!

Ace: I was scared of dying. That's all.

Yeah, I've definitely seen a theory on that somewhere. And it fits his character - But jeez. I'm gonna be sad to see him go.

Ace: I'm fucking terrified of dying! I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking about how I'm going to die young in this goddamn killing game! I didn't want to die!

Ace: Live, and escape this killing game, and go back to my shitty life where I can't do anything on my own because I can't control myself.

Ace: Back to that life where I can't do anything but a sport that I hate because I suck shit at everything else.

Wow, it sounds like he really didn't think he had any way of enjoying life, whether in the killing game or not. I feel so bad...We knew from Chp. 1 that he was quite the scaredy-cat, but to make that a motive into killing? Like...I'm not sure what to say. /pos The character development is SO good though I am HERE FOR THIS!!

J: So what? Get over yourself.

...J?

J: Murder is unacceptable, no matter what.

Oh! I see what's happening! This is a super interesting way for a character to think. This makes me think that sometime later on, a murder will be done on accident in some way, (maybe by herself - THAT would be a twist for sure) but she still refuses to forgive the culprit. I really love J getting character development!

Ace: Arei…she was a piece of shit too. Just like me. Eden if she said all that nice bs to Eden, there was no guarantee she was actually going to change. (paraphrased)

…Ow. “Piece of shit” really is becoming the new “Good person”, huh? /hj

And, I suppose Ace is right in that there wasn’t any way to tell if Arei *was* going to change for certain - But I think she was genuine!

Ace: But at least she (arei) was trying. And I can’t change even one thing about myself. Not my shitty job, nor my shitty personality, nor my shitty life.

OH OKAY OUCH AUGH. This…is painful. Here’s my (not very good) interpretation of this:

Ace doesn’t trust that people will be able to change. Sure, there’s a chance - but no guarantee. However, he applauds Arei because at least she was trying to be better. He thinks it’s pointless for him to try to be better - everything bad in his life, he cannot change. And that scared him, and that is what led him to murder.

��...” said by Levi and Nico*

Wow, going to the two people who have the most to do with his character right after he says that is crazy. /lh

But yeah, I can’t even imagine what was going through their heads… The person who reprimanded them for killing others (and in Nico’s case - trying to kill him) actually ended up being the killer of Arei - and intended to kill everyone in order to escape the killing game. It sure must be a lot to process, huh?

Ace: Just vote me already! Put me out of my damn misery!

…Damn. This really hurts…

He’s obviously terrified of dying. He probably wants it over with. He doesn’t want to wait in anticipation for his death. He just wants it over with…I feel SO bad.

Teruko: Before we do that, allow me to go over the case one more time, to confirm we all understand this murder.

Ace: Why? Why do you have to remind me of the fucked-up shit I did? I already feel like crap. I don't... I don't want to think about what I've done. Not now, nor ever.

Ah, so there’s also guilt involved. I mean, of course he’d feel guilt - but he probably felt killing Arei and escaping the killing game was his only option, excluding death.

Teruko: …

Teruko: Sorry, but it has to be done.

AGH. Teruko feels bad for having to make him relive his murder…dangit this cast makes me ILL /pos

Teruko: Confront the mistakes you've made. Then accept death. That's the fate of everyone who chooses to participate in this killing game.

I meannn…she isn’t wrong. But I still feel horrible for Ace.

**Closing argument**

Oh cool!!! Here we go - I can’t wait!

GIRLKISSERS!!! oh, and ace ig. /j

This is probably my favourite cg from the closing argument. It’s just….Idk. Arei’s expression is sort of funny to me.

The way Arei’s hanging body appeared in the middle and lifted up slowly…that was disturbing. But in a really, really good way. DRDTdev is super creative with these closing arguments!

Cut her free…with what, exactly??

Also, Teruko calling the carousel a spinner is hilarious to me. Not even a spinny thing anymore - just a spinner.

I burst out laughing at this cg…because I DIDN’T EXPECT HIM TO BE UPSIDE DOWN??? I giggled a lot at this, it’s really not that funny - but I didn’t expect him to go full monkey style in order to tie the rope.

And…there it is. Sorry folks, but I really doubt Ace isn’t killer after getting the “trial close” screen and the…end of closing argument cg??? Thing??? I have no clue what it’s called.

Wow, this episode was a rollercoaster ride. I love love love love LOVED it. I can’t wait for the next one!

Before this episode, I really didn’t like Ace. At all. I just found him annoying. But DRDTdev did his character arc SO well - he’s really grown on me! Now time to see him get executed…oh.

Also, I realise I forgot to comment on the new cgs,,, whoops. They’re all super good though - I LOVED Teruko’s.

Anyway, I think that’s all….this took SO incredibly long lol. I don't really know what to say in order to end this post. So. Yeah.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #despair time #teruko tawaki #fanganronpa #drdt theory #drdt spoilers #ace markey #eden tobisa #levi fontana #nico hakobyan #charles cuevas #arei nageishi #j moreno #teruko tawaki the things id do for you #<333

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dandeliicnsarchived · 2 years ago

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Small PSA -

When it comes to Rosalie and Nathaniel, if yall wanna ship them with your muses ( at least romantic ), I have no issues with it; I'd just like to discuss and plot about it in some detail since for their main verse they are MARRIED, but if you guys wanna do like a Rosalie x ( your muse ) ship or Nathaniel x ( your muse ) ship we can.

Just talk me about it, how you want to go about it, so on and so forth. A good example is @trepidatiionsx 's character Mattheo, he's shipped with Rosalie and the plot is really cute but angsty. So it goes to show that I am comfortable with it, I just want to plot major key points!

#♥︎ ┆ ❝ gather around for your safety brief ❞ ⇢ psa #( im gonna do some editing later on in the evening for my google docs - because I am opened to ALL dynamics )#( just some need mroe plotting than others ya dig? )

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mqfx · 3 years ago

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omg how did you make the epub version when it cant be copied? dont tell me u really typed all that out?? asking because i wanna make one for golden stage :( reading it on phone when you cant even bookmark where you left off is a pain

i have good news and bad news and then good news again!

good news 1: there is already a golden stage epub! :D a few enterprising fellows this side of sideblog have it somewhere (if they'd volunteer in the noats for anon)

bad news: i don't have a copy of it on google drive and idk how to transfer something from my phone to the laptop! :(

good news 2: i will now share some epub secrets to u <3 don't tell the google this and don't rb (im shy) but here's my steps and things to keep in mind

step 1: open up the google doc that u wish to transcribe. u see how the url says /edit at the end? replace [edit] with [mobilebasic] like so:

step 2: click the reading mode icon. now it is copy-pastable! copy-paste onto a text editor of choice. keep doing this until u have the whole thing, but i recommend starting a new doc for each link. don't put them all in one yet bc it's gonna be a bitch to edit later aahaha :| then edit to ur discretion. i recommend editing each section Before copy pasting to the epub maker of choice

step 3: i used Pages on Mac but i think there are other epub makers. this is what i did to make sure everything was its own section. u have to format each "Chapter [n] - [title]" with the Chapter text type so that the ebook recognizes them as separate chapters. then when you're done, make an empty page before the first chapter, go to Insert > Table of Documents > Document then add one there

optional: footnotes turn to endnotes when u convert to epub but the effort is worth it :3c

ta-dah! ask me more questions if u need help and i shall get to them! and if u still can't find the epub i'll see what i can do. good luck anon hope u find what ur looking for!

#asks #anonymous #hewwo #but fr if someone else asks u how u didn't hear it from me!!!!!!

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trans-mink · 2 years ago

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Istg these writer questions are all too good I want to ask you every single one but that'd be a lot so...17, 22, 34 + a question you'd really like to answer!

im so sorry this took a while things been all over the place on my end, this is going to be very all over the place but anyway

17. talk to me about the minutiae of your current wip. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

uhh so i got several wips that are v much on a break but I started reworking an old arcana self insert fic of mine from 2019 cos tbh the writing is ass and I can make it sound a lot better now idk how that bitch has so many kudos on it, its not good!!

the plot is basically that the MC (reader) has chronic joint pain in the winter when its cold and Julian helps to look after them. The inspiration was that i have chronic joint pain that's way worse when its cold and i wrote it as a comfort thing lol. its still up rn in its original state but will be updated soon hopefully

my other main wip is my dmmd fic that i worked on p much all of last year but now i have burnout so im taking a break rip.

its kinda a re-write of the reconnect game but with more characters and set in my own universe but i think once i get over the bump of the main story line its gonna be more slice of life/ romance focused as a change of pace to the first half. Unlike the reconnect game i also focus on other characters that arent the main character's love interest because if i was a reader i'd wanna know what everyone else is up to post canon. It basically feels like a sandbox for me to write my character head canons lol.

22. how organized are you with your writing? describe to me your organization method, if it exists. what tools do you use? notebooks? binders? apps?

everything is in google docs, i have notes pages and a loose colour coding system going with how I edit things e.g green= published, orange= needs work/ to be changed, purple= notes about canon/ in fic lore.

Sometimes if i feel my work is getting cluttered i'll move it to a separate doc so i end up with about 3 documents that are different editing stages of the same chapter.

Theres also a "cutting room floor" doc where i put stuff that didnt make the final cut in case i wanna refer to it later and its not lost to the back space button.

34. thoughts on the oxford comma, go:

fam I dont even know what a oxford comma is, I just be putting them shits wherever feels right. Like a granny adding seasoning to her cooking.

Ok i just googled it and I dont tend to use it i dont think but honestly do whatever u want, who give a shit. language and grammar are fake.

extra question picked at random :D

12. if a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current wips into lorem ipsum, i don’t make the rules

first wish is to know how characters feel in response to whatever is happening to them, my biggest thing rn is being unable to put myself in their shoes and i think it would help a lot.

second is to consistently remember HOW to write well, cos i have bursts of knowing wtf im talking about but will suddenly lose it even if im in the middle of a work

third is knowing the exact word or phrase to describe scenery, emotions and facial expressions. I struggle with those the most for some reason.

#tysm for the ask i didnt forget about it i was just busy and distracted #ask

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ohh-baekhyun · 6 years ago

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Just For One Night | 2-4

✨Foreword: Baekhyun has always been carefully platonic in his interactions with his best friend’s little sister. He resolved to keep her at arm’s length despite his attraction towards her. But one night, one kiss changes everything.

✨Genre: romance, fluff!

✨A/N: Hiii, since a few anons told me that they can’t access my google doc so here you go :) I didn’t edit this like what I did to the first chapter so uh you know what im gonna say I keep repeating myself haha! BTW, the FINAL part is out too!

Last night felt too good to be true; like a dream I wished I would never wake up from. But I did. I woke up the next morning feeling in dismay knowing that I had to face reality. Our time together was over and everything between us would return to where it used to be. Baekhyun would see me as nothing but his best friend’s sister. Tears burned in my eyes because more than I’d realized, I’d been waiting for someone like him. Sadly, he wasn’t mine. I stared down at his strong arms winding around my waist, enjoying the feeling of having him close for one last time. Last night, he’d woken me up for another round of sex. When we’re done, he’d kissed me goodnight and hold me to sleep. He hadn’t let go ever since, not even once. The feeling was kind of beautiful, and I wished we could stay like this longer. I made a stealth move to twist my body around in his arms and tilted my chin up to look at him. His eyes were closed, his chest rose and fell with every breath that he took. I’d never seen anything quite so peaceful before. Watching him sleep, being in his arms, my heart squeezed with a longing so deep I can’t help the tears from falling. He was someone I wished I could wake up to every morning. I lifted my hand up to cradle his face and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. Baekhyun made a low humming sound in the back of his throat as his arms tightened around me. I froze against him, my heart rate picking up. But a few seconds later, his hold around me loosened. Relief moved through me and I let go of the breath I was holding. I debated if I should wake him up before leaving. Part of me wanted to stay, but a bigger part of me didn’t want to have to deal with the awkwardness. So I figured it would be better if I leave. We could pretend last night hadn’t happened, move on with our lives and keep our relationship as platonic as it was before. Maybe that was what Baekhyun wanted as well. After all, he’d only proposed one night. I peeled his arms away from my waist, shifting to the side of the bed then sat up and swung my legs off the mattress. I looked over my shoulder to check on him before rising to my feet. My muscle was aching all over. I glanced slipped on my clothes before quietly made my way out of his bedroom and his apartment. I checked my phone in the cab, and was hit by a reminder that today is Kyungsoo’s wedding.

Baekhyun will be there too.

Oh Crap.

When I stepped foot into the sitting area of my shared home, I found my best friend lazing on the couch with a cup of Greek yogurt in her hand, her attention fixed on the TV in front of her. She hadn’t noticed my arrival. “Babe,” I called. Since she didn’t answer, I moved closer so I was standing in front of her, blocking her view. She glanced up, her eyes rest on my face for a fleeting moment before drifting down and back up again. Her brows raised curiously at me, “Where were you last night?” “...” My best friend knew me so well she could tell from my silence that something was bothering me. “Come sit.” She scoot over and pat on the empty space next to her. I flopped back against the couch, turning slightly to look at her. She cast me a worried look, “Tell me what happened.” “Baekhyun and I...we,” “Baekhyun and you what?” She probed. “We might’ve…slept together.” “Oh God.” She gasped, disbelief written all over her face. “How?” She gripped my arms, shaking me. “How did it happen?" “We were talking on the couch…and then somehow, we were all over each other. I tried to stop it but––“ “But what? What happened next?” She urged, looking so engrossed. “––He told me it’s only for a night so I said yes, then we went at it.” I blushed. “Like animals” “I’m not surprised.” Her lips twitched as if suppressing a laughter. “Those hickeys say it all.” My cheek felt so hot it could cook. I had noticed those bite marks in the cab on my way home. I just didn’t care to cover it because there’s no need to. Soyeon and I were as comfortable around each other as two married couple should be. We were like sisters and I trusted her with my secrets, just as she trusted me with hers. “Do you think Baekhyun would be mad that I left without telling him?” I asked. “You did what?” Her lips parted in shock. Her reaction didn’t make me feel good at all. “I just...I wasn’t sure If I should wake him up.” “You should have!” she raised her voice, shocking me. “He's not just a guy you pick up at the bar to hook up with for God sake, what were you thinking?” My guilt tripled in an instant. I hadn't meant to treat Baekhyun like a one-night stand. He meant so much more than that. “I don’t want any awkwardness between us. What if he wakes up and regret sleeping with me?” She shook her head. “I doubt that. This is Baekhyun we are talking about. He cares about you too much to hurt you.” “How could you be so sure?” My best friend looked at me like I was stupid. “How could you be so blind? Anyone with a pair of eyes could easily tell that Baekhyun loves you. Have you seen the way he looks at you?” “He looks at me the same way since I was little.” Soyeon gave me a long stare, then she sighed as if giving up. “Whether you believe me or not, Baekhyun is going to be so disappointed when he wakes up and finds that you’re gone.” I slumped back against the couch, groaning in frustration. “What do I do?” “Call him,” she says. “Apologize.”

I decided to take a shower first before calling Baekhyun as I needed time to think of what to say. All I knew was, I should apologize. And then what? Do I tell him how I feel about him? What if he didn't feel the same way? Worst, What if I scared him away? OR What if Soyeon was right? That Baekhyun indeed harbored some feelings for me? I sat in the bathtub, hugging my knees to my chest while my mind drifted to last night. And the words Baekhyun had said to me ran through my head. Any man would be lucky to have you... That probably meant nothing....he must have said that to all the girls he had dated before... I think about you for every damn second of the day. Did he mean that in a romantic way or was it purely sexual? Maybe its the latter...or maybe not....God, I'm so confused For the next one hour, I sat there thinking about all those maybes and what ifs. I was getting drowsy. Without me knowing, my eyes fluttered close and I drifted off to sleep. I hadn't realized my head was sinking underwater. Sleep left my brain spontaneously, and my eyes shot up in shock when I felt a pair of hands gripping my arms, pulling me out into the air. "What the hell are you doing?" a male's voice boomed across the small space of the bathroom. I saw Baekhyun through my blurry vision as I rubbed away the water that got into my eyes. He was squatting next to the bathtub, looking all horrified and worried. He reached for a clean towel on the cabinet below the sink, "What were you trying to do??" he fumed, dabbing the towel over my face. I was too dumbstruck to even form a word. Not to mention I wasn't wearing anything......I was naked........naked......wait? naked! Awareness crashed into me and my hands moved up instinctively to cover my chest, "Why are you here?" I snapped. His face twisted into a frown, "Were you trying to kill yourself?" "Kill myself?" I mimic the frown on his face, but mine was of confusion, "What are you talking about?" "Answer me!" "You answer me! What are you doing here?" Baekhyun answered with a loud grunt and then he bent forward and dipped his arms into the water to spoon me out of the bathtub. "Baekhyun!" I squealed, folding my arm over my chest as if it would help to cover my nakedness. Why did I even bother? he had seen me naked anyway. He carried me all the way out into my walk-in closet and placed me down on the marble countertop, water dripping down from my drenched hair and skin. "Explain." he demanded as he leaned forward to rest his palms on the space next to my hips. My forehead creased, still not understanding what he was fussing all about, "What do you want me to explain?" "Why were you drowning yourself in the bathtub?" I shot him an incredulous stare. Did he really think I was trying to kill myself? "I did not, Baekhyun. I fell asleep." "You fell asleep?" he asked as if he couldn't believe what I said. "Yes, I fell asleep," I confirmed. "It happens sometimes when I'm tired." "Oh........" he muttered, embarrassment was evident in his expression, "Okay......" "Guys, what's wrong, why is it so loud in-." At the sound of Soyeon's voice, I brought my head around. Our eyes met and she was standing frozen in the doorway of my walk-in closet, "Oh dear," she turned around, "I'm so sorry....I didn't mean to disturb.....you guys can...you know....continue do your thing....whatever it is........" she babbled. "It's not what you think it is," I corrected her immediately. "Have fun!" she shouted teasingly before fleeing the scene. "Great, now she's going to think that we-" I trailed off as I turned around and caught him grinning at me, making my heart rate sped up. His gaze made its way down my bare skin and in a nanosecond, the air around us was charged with tension. I cleared my throat and he brought his gaze back to my face with a low hum. "What brings you here?" I asked softly. “We need to talk.” "About what?" I asked, feigning ignorant. “You might want to wear your clothes first…I'm loving the view, but its pretty distracting, baby." He suggested with a grin. Heat pervaded my cheek. "Can you wait outside?" I asked, trying to buy myself some time to think. He nodded, and in a heartbeat, his lips were on mine for a quick kiss. "Don't take too long," he said against my lips. And then he walked away, leaving me hopelessly confused by the kiss.

When I stepped out into my bedroom, Baekhyun was on my bed. I caught a glimpse of my journal lying on a pillow next to him. He was staring at it, and as his hand started to move to reach for it, my legs acted on instinct. I strode forward, stopping before him and snatched it away. Baekhyun's head snapped up at my sudden presence. It was a relief he hadn't gotten a chance to open it. This diary held too many secrets I'd been keeping to myself all these years. It was an outlet for my feelings for him since I was little. "What is that?" he asked. “My journal.” I slipped the diary under my pillow and lowered myself on the bed. I turned to him and asked, “What do you want to talk about?" The air changes again. "You weren't there when I woke up this morning," he muttered with a tone laced with disappointment. "You were still sleeping. I didn't want to disturb.” which was true. I wasn't lying. "And you think it's okay to leave without a word?" he said with a slightly raised voice this time. "I'm sorry. I was..." I paused for a bit of a second and then I admitted, "I was confused." A muscle in his jaw tightened, "So you're confused, and that gives you the right to treat me like a hookup you use for a night and get rid of the next day? Do I mean so little to you?” I flinched at the tone of his voice. Growing up, Baekhyun had barely gotten upset at me. But If he did, means I had really done a huge mistake. And this time, I knew I did. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." “Am I just a rebound?” He asks sharply.

“No. Of course not,” I deny.

For a moment I was uncertain how he was going to respond to that. But slowly, the tension in his face eased and I saw understanding in his eyes, "Next time you’re confused, we talk. You don't have to run away." Next time? Will there ever be a next time? There was a deep silence before my soft voice filled the room, "I guess I left because I was scared.” "What is there to be scared of?" "I was afraid that you'd wake up and realized that being with me last night was a mistake." tears pricking my eyes as I spoke. "I don't want you to regret anything because last night meant something to me." He held my gaze with his gentle one and his hand reached out to cradle the side of my face, "Last night meant something to me too." he confessed, "Being with you wasn't a mistake. It will never be." My heart throbbed at his confession, I almost felt like crying.

"I never regret any second of it.” he continued, "I'd do anything I can to make you mine again.” And with that, tears rolled down my cheek. Happy tears. Baekhyun scooted closer, tugged me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. My heart throbbing harder in my chest. "Are you still confused?" he asked as his hand brushed at the back of my head. "I'm not sure if last night changes anything." Baekhyun answered with a chuckle, "Of course it does, sweetheart." I leaned back and stared up at him with a question in my eyes, "What changes?" "This." he said before his lips crashed down into mine. A startled gasp slipped from my lips. My hands moved up to hold onto his arms as our lips moved against each other in a long ardent kiss. When he pulled back, he whispered, "Now I get to kiss you whenever I want to." A blush spread across my cheek, "So," I said, chewing on my bottom lip, "Does it mean we are a couple now?" The side of his lips curled up, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" If he could read my mind, he'd hear me screaming a loud yes. But feeling playful, I shrugged instead. "I'll think about it." A warning flashed in his eyes. Two seconds later I was pushed back against the pillows with him hovering over me. "Think faster."

We spent the remaining of the afternoon in my bed. My back leaning against his front and his arms hugging me from behind. We were sometimes talking and sometimes just quietly enjoying each other’s company. Unlike the relationships I had before, being with Baekhyun felt real to me. He gave me butterflies, he made my heart flutters, he gave me tingles and many other beautiful feelings no man could ever give me. Most of all, he showed me love even before he said it to me. It might be a wishful thinking but I'd like to believe that perhaps Baekhyun felt the same for me too. “Should we tell your brother now?” Baekhyun asked. I looked up and cast him a troubled look, “Now?” “What's wrong?” “Hypothetically speaking,” I said. “If my brother disapproved of our relationship, what would you do?” I wondered anxiously while waiting for his answer. “Hypothetically speaking,” he imitated, “If your brother disapproved of our relationship, would you run away with me?” That was surprising. Knowing how much he treasured his friendship with my brother, I’d assumed he was gonna say let’s end this…“Where are you taking me to?” “Anywhere you want,” he answered. “Just you and me.” Loving the idea, I showed him my expectant smile, “Let's go to your grandmama’s home.” His brows rose up and he gave a quiet chuckle, “I’m starting to think you are obsessed with my grandmama’s home.” “I am,” I admitted simply. “Would you take me there, please?” “Anything for you, sweetheart.” he lowered his head so that his nose brushed along mine. Baekhyun’s grandmother lived in a vacation home at a beach called The Dolphin Island. I’d never gotten a chance to visit as I was on my internship when Baekhyun and the rest planned a trip there last summer. I'd heard from my brother of how beautiful the place is. He told me that the sky would turn pink during sunset and that dolphins would appear swimming across the ocean too. I could only imagine how surreal it felt to witness such a breathtaking view…. Feeling elated at the thoughts, my face beamed with blissfulness. “I can’t wait to be there!” “You make it sounds like we are really running away.” “Aren't you the one who suggested the idea?” “It was a hypothetical question, my dear.” My brows drew together, “So you weren’t serious about it?” Sensing my disappointment, Baekhyun let out a sigh, “I wasn’t kidding when I said we’ll run away if your brother doesn’t approve of our relationship. But first, I’d like to try my best to convince him to let me date you. ” he explained. “I will fight for us no matter what." The die-hard romantic in me was melting into mush. I turned myself around so that I was straddling him, and then I kissed him. Earnestly. “I will fight for us too." I whispered as I pulled back. His lips quirked in amusement, “Really? What are you gonna tell your brother then?" I pondered for a brief period of time before answering honestly, “I'll tell him that I had a huge crush on you since I was ten and that I'd rather die than not be with you." Two brows rose at me in question and surprise, "You've been crushing on me for so long and I didn't know about it?" “Because back then, I was only Chanyeol’s little sister in your eyes,” I muttered. Regret veiled his expression. "I'm sorry." I assured him with a smile as I shook my head lightly, “I don’t want you to feel sorry. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that.......it has always been you.” That made him smile. While keeping his loving gaze on me, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. My cheek felt warm and my heart palpitated. I knew if I didn’t break the silence, we’d end up kissing again and I had a feeling it might even lead to something else. As appealing as it sounded, I wasn't going to do it in my shared apartment especially not when the room wasn't soundproofed. If Soyeon heard us, I swore she'd never let me live a day without her teasing. "You know," I broke our gaze and leaned over to slid my hand under a pillow next to him. His eyes followed my hand as I pulled a diary hidden under it. "I've been writing about you ever since the day I met you," "You were only seven when I first met you." Stunned that he remembered, my face lit up, "And you were fourteen." I said as I handed the diary to him. "These are all about me?" he asked while taking the book in his hand. "You might want to skip the first few entries. I wrote them when I was five. It's mostly about Disney princesses and my Barbie dolls." Chuckling, he flipped to the very the first entry. "I want to read everything." July 20, 2000. Dear Diary, Today, everyone is not happy. Mommy and Daddy are very angry at Chanyeol because he bring baby mouse back home from school. Mommy say we cannot keep baby mouse at home because it is dirty. But baby mouse is very cute and my brother say baby mouse is hurt so he want to take care of it. Mommy and Daddy want to throw away baby mouse. Chanyeol is very sad because baby mouse is gone, and I am sad too because I don’t like to see my brother being sad. November 3, 2001. Dear Diary, Today is a good day because I made a new friend! He's my brother's best friend and his name is Baekhyun. He is very kind just like my brother and he makes me laugh a lot. I hope to see him again soon. August 14, 2002. Dear Diary, Today, Baekhyun teaches me how to ride the bicycle. I am still not good at it yet. I kept falling and cried because it's so hard. But Baekhyun told me it’s okay because he used to fall many times too. He said I shouldn't give up and If I keep trying, I will be able to ride the bicycle soon. May 1, 2003. Dear Diary, Today, As I got home from school, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were hanging out in my room. They were talking about a boy in their class. I don’t think they like him very much but I'm not sure. They repeated the word asshole a few times. I didn’t know the meaning of those words and they wouldn't tell me because they said I am too young to understand. I was so curious that I went to Mommy's room to ask her. Mommy got so angry at me. She told me that is a bad word and warned me to never say it again. Then, she went to my room to reprimand Baekhyun and Chanyeol. I felt guilty because it was my fault they got into trouble. When Mommy left the room, I thought they were going to be upset but they laughed at me instead. I am really confused. And I still don't know what asshole means. For the next half an hour, I sat next to Baekhyun as he read each page and laughed at the most of them. It was until he turned to the entry I wrote when I was seventeen that he stopped and turned to me with a frown. June 24, 2012 Dear Diary, I think I might have my first sexual awakening today. I nibbled my bottom lips with a bashful smile. It was a relief I didn't include the details of my "sexual awakening" in my diary. It would be more embarrassing if I did. "Did I.....?" he guessed

"Yes, you did, my friend." His brows puckered, "I don't know how to feel about it. It sounds a bit.....pedophile like." I giggled at his discomfort, "Come on. It's not like you were attracted to my boobless and buttless teenager body. Plus, you were still dating Jaesi at the time." I was referring to his ex-girlfriend whom he dated for seven years. The two had an on and off relationship before they finally decided to end it a month ago. "Good point. But, what did I do to spark your....uh....sexual awakening?" he queried. "Promise me you won't make fun of me if I tell you?" "I promise." ".....You didn't do anything actually," I said. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I did walk in on you shirtless." His lips curled into a slow and smug grin, "I've always thought you were innocent." "I was seventeen.....you know.....hormone and all." "Didn't know you're such a pervert." he mocked. Embarrassed, I snatched the diary away from his grasp, "Shouldn't have let you read it." "Hey, I was just joking." he coaxed as he nudged my arm with his elbow. "Let me read the rest of it, please." his face was now nuzzling in the crook of my neck, making me titter at the ticklish sensation. "Fine fine...But....Only if you tell me when did you start seeing me differently." I bargained. I've always been curious and now was the best chance to ask him about it. "What do you mean differently?" "When did you start seeing me as a woman?" I clarified my question. He threw me an are-you-serious look, like it was such a wrong thing to ask. "I'm not telling you that. It's a guy thing that will probably creep you out." "I won't. I promise.” I pleaded in a sweet way that managed to waver his resolve. He let out a defeated sigh, "Okay.." "This is fun!” I chirped. He shook his head at my excitement before he started speaking, "You were nineteen. It was during one of the weekend gatherings at Kyungsoo's villa." "Oh my god, I remember!" I interjected, "No wonder you were being such an overbearing ass that night." He clucked his tongue in annoyance, "Do you want to listen or what?" "Sorry." I gave him an apologetic smile, "Go on." "You brought a date with you. I couldn't remember the asshole's name. I think it was something Sook.." "Seok-jin." I supplied while trying my best to suppress my grin. He was clearly jealous. "Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "You know I wasn't in the best mood that night. I needed some fresh air so I went outside to the park nearby. And then, I found you and the asshole kissing under the tree and-" As the memory of that night returned vividly to my mind, my eyes widened, "Oh my god! So it was you who threw rocks at us while we were kissing." I deduced with a loud voice as if I just solved one of Sherlock Holmes mystery. Baekhyun treated me with another stern look for interrupting his speech. "Last warning." "Sorry." "I was suddenly feeling so jealous and turned on at the same time," he confessed somewhat gruffly as his eyes lingered on my mouth. "My mind started to imagine how your lips would feel against mine, how you'd taste like when I......." his voice trailed away as our eyes locked in another heated stare. My breathing became heavy as the air around us thickened. His lips were moving closer to mine and half a second before we closed the distance between us, Baekhyun's phone rang, interrupting our moment. He made a low scowling sound under his breath. I sighed inwardly as he pulled back and shoved his hand into his jeans pocket, I peered over to look at the caller id and my forehead creased as I saw Aera's name written on the screen. Aera was Kyungsoo's twenty-year-old cousin who had a crush on Baekhyun. "Why is she calling you?" As if he something struck him in the head, he cursed again. I became more curious, "What is it?" "I've promised Kyungsoo that I'll be Aera's date for his wedding tonight."

I was smiling on the outside, pretending that I wasn't at the very least affected by the news that my boyfriend was going on a date with another girl. But on the inside, I was livid with jealousy. I knew there was nothing to worry about since Baekhyun had zero feelings for Aera. He was just doing a favor to his best friend. Still, it was a little difficult to accept the notion that I had to share my boyfriend with someone else. Especially since we had just made our relationship official less than an hour ago. Baekhyun had repeatedly asked me if I’d liked him to bail out. But, how could I possibly say Yes when I knew the girl had been looking forward to this day. Plus, Aera was a nice girl and I actually liked her. I’d be an evil witch if I ever ruined her dream date with Baekhyun. “Are you sure you are okay?” "Yes I'm okay," I told him for the umpteenth time, "I know you are just doing a favour to Kyungsoo. I completely understand." "You really sure?" he tried again. Forcing a wider smile, I spoke through my gritted teeth, "Yes Baekhyun, I am 100% sure.“ "See that fake smile?" he pointed at my lips, "You are so jealous." “I told you I'm not." I denied. "Yes you are." he insisted. My smile faltered and my forehead creased, "Why can't you just drop it?" I groaned. "Fine," he rolled his eyes, "It's actually good that you are not jealous because you know....a date involves holding hands and-" "No." I shot him a death glare, “No holding hands.” He gave me a smug smile, "Are you finally admitting that you are jealous?" Too tired to argue, I reluctantly admitted, "I am jealous..." my voice sounded almost muted. "I know that." "No holding hands!" I reminded. “I won't. But what if she holds mine first?” he said with a smirk I wasn't sure what for. "Do I push her away?" Part of me was tempted to say yes but I knew how much it hurts to be pushed away by a guy you like. “Don't push her away.” I said as I scooted closer to him, “You can link arms with her like this,” I slid my hand around his arms as a demonstration, “or this,” I reached down to hold his hand with a loose flimsy grip, “Just, not like this.” I clasped his hand tightly with interlaced fingers, “This is how you hold my hand.” A low chuckle left his lips, “Are you always this possessive, sweetheart?” “Would you let another guy hold my hand like this?” I quipped. Baekhyun’s grip tightened around my fingers in reflex, “No other man touches you but me.” he said hoarsely. "Understand?" "Are you always this bossy, Mr. Byun?" "Do you understand?" he repeated, warning in his tone. "Okay okay...." Men are such a caveman sometimes. "But you are not allowed to touch another girl as well. No hug, No kiss, just holding hands. Deal?" "There's no woman I'd rather touch than you." Liking his answer, a pleased grin formed on my lips. “We're good then." I said, "Oh...And....please don't flirt or tease her like you always do to me." I added, "You know your mouth can be quite uh....powerful." Baekhyun was flirty by nature and we all knew just how good he was with words. Those who didn't know him well might mistake that he was genuinely interested. False hope sucks big time. “My mouth? Powerful?" he asked. "Like how?" I shrugged, too embarrassed to explain, “I don't know.” “You mean like the time I made you come so hard with my mouth?” he muttered casually. God, how could someone be so blunt? "You really need a filter for your dirty words.” I said, shaking my head. An evil smirk spread across his lips. He leaned down so that his mouth was sitting next to my ear. “From what I recall," his voice lowered to a whisper, "your wet pussy enjoyed my dirty words just fine.” “Oh my god! You filthy bastard!” I pushed him away, feeling a flush of heat spreading across my cheek. At my flustered reaction, he burst into deep laughter, “You are such a prude.” he joked. I stared at him with an unamused expression. And as his laughter fell away, he stared back at me silently. "What?" Slowly, a feral grin formed across his face, hinting me that I was about to be attacked by his filthy words again. Oh no….no more.... "I....I have to get ready for the wedding." I muttered before crawling to the front edge of the bed to get away from him. But I could only go so far when Baekhyun hooked his fingers around my ankles from behind. I looked over my shoulder with a frown, "What are you doing?" Without a word, he pulled my legs back, causing a surprised squeal to escape through my mouth. My bent knees were being straightened at the tug of his hands that I dropped on all four. Next, his body fell on my back, pressing me down against the soft mattress with his weight. “Get off me! You are so heavy.” I let out a feebled cry as I struggled to move under him. And all he did was laugh, gloating over my helpless state. I moved my free hands behind and attacked his waist with soft tickles. It's his weak spot, I knew. When his body wriggled above mine, I took the opportunity to shift under him, but, he was so quick to pull me back into a tight hug. “Got you!” his arms and legs circled around me as he pressed my back against his chest. Having no strength to move any longer, I relaxed into his hold, "I can't believe you are twenty-nine." I panted. Baekhyun dropped his head on my shoulder, "I can't believe you're mine." It took me seconds to register his words and then the rhyme behind it. And as I did, I fell into uncontrollable laughters. As he laughed along with me, he planted soft kisses along the bare skin of my shoulder up to the side of my neck. The rumbling sound of his voice did happy things to my heart. His lips made its way up to my ear and when his teeth pulled at my earlobe, I hissed at the sudden sharp pain. “Does it hurt?” he asked, sounding a little sorry. “A little." I murmured, "But I like it." Baekhyun chuckled, the rumbling sound of his voice did happy things to my heart. "You're funny." he nibbled my ear again, gentler this time. Time melted away quickly when we were together. When I glanced up at the clock, I realized we'd been laying here for nearly four hours. "Baekhyun," I called out softly and he hummed in response. "You need to leave now else you'll be late for the wedding. We're supposed to arrive earlier remember?" “I know,” he breathed gently into my ear, “Let’s stay like this just a little longer."

Baekhyun had finally left my apartment to get himself ready for the wedding and well….his date. And I was left alone in my room as I changed into the dress Jisoo had specially designed for the bridesmaids. The dress was strapless with a sweetheart neckline, and the upper half of the bodice was embellished with a few sparks of glitter, not too shiny, but just enough to make it glow. There’s a thin sash fitting around the waist, and then, the tulle fabric fell like a waterfall from the waist down to the floor. Oh and the color. Sky blue. Just like the color of Cinderella’s dress. I stood before the dressing table and stared down at the display box where I stored my pieces of jewelry. I was looking for a necklace to match my dress but my eyes caught a glimpse of something and I picked it out. It was the Dior pearl earrings Baekhyun had gifted to me for my birthday. Smiling, I looked up at the mirror and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. While I was struggling trying to fit the sharp end of the stud into my pierced earlobe, someone knocked on my door. “Yeah?“ I responded. “It’s me. May I come in?” a male's voice met with my ears. “Sure. Come in.” Through the reflection in the mirror, I watched as the door eased open slowly. Soon, my brother entered the room and I turned around. He was wearing a single-breasted jacket in black and a grey silk tie knotted around the collar of his white dress shirt. His face beamed up as he saw me in my blue dress, “Look at you,” he admired, “You look stunning.” Have I mentioned that I loved my brother? “Thank you.” I gave him a self-deprecated smile. "You don't look so bad yourself." He walked over to my side and gave me a hug. As he pulled back, he looked down at the earring in my hand. "Need help with that?" I nodded, passing him the tiny piece of jewelry that looked a lot tinier in his big hand. I couldn’t help but grin at the delicate way he handled the earrings. When he was done with one ear, he proceeded with the other. He did it so effortlessly that it amazed me. “How could you be so good at this?” I wondered. “I practiced a lot,” he grinned, “on the girl next door.” He was talking about Soyeon, and I wondered where she was. “Have you seen her?” I asked. He shook his head. “She’s still in her room. She wouldn’t let me come in.” “I think she’s probably freaking out right now,” I said as I giggled, “She seems to have a phobia of dresses.” “How the hell do you wear this stupid dress?” See.... My brother and I turned around to find the owner of the voice. And there she was, standing near the doorway, holding the blue sash she couldn’t figure out how to tie. My eyes sparkled at the sight of her in her bridesmaid’s dress. It was almost as similar to mine, but hers was designed with a Sabrina neckline, making her collarbone looks more prominent. I’ve always thought Soyeon looked naturally beautiful without makeup. Even wearing just her usual t-shirt and jeans—the casual girl-next-door style she preferred—she looked gorgeous. But this….this is just perfect. She’s perfect. And as I moved my gaze to Chanyeol who was standing next to me, I was struck speechless by the way he looked at Soyeon. His eyes were gleaming with so much affection as though she was the most precious thing in the world. I swore no man could possibly be more in love than my brother. “You must be the luckiest guy on earth,” I said in a soft whisper. “Don’t ever lose her.” “I know…” he smiled. And while keeping his loving gaze locked on his confused girlfriend, he whispered back to me, “I’m going to marry her someday.” My my…he had got to be the most romantic man in the universe. “You better do.” I murmured, “Because I’m not letting you marry anyone else besides her.” And I meant what I said. Growing up as siblings, Chanyeol and I had always been protective of each other. I’ve seen a few women come and go in his life. Some betrayed him and some just wanted him for what he had. At the end, he was left broken-hearted. As a sister, all I ever wanted was the best for my brother. And I knew he wanted the same for me too. I loved him so much that it broke me to see him hurt. Someone like him deserved much better than a woman who could never see him beyond his good-looks and his wealth. There's more to him than that. This man had the biggest heart that was made to love and he deserved to be loved as much too. With Soyeon, I knew I wouldn't have to worry. She loved my brother truly. She made him happy. In fact, I’ve never seen my brother happier than he is now. They had to stay together. Forever. “What are you guys whispering about?” Soyeon voice brought our attention back to her, “Can someone help me with my dress?”

I arrived at the venue two hours before the ceremony started. Soyeon and Chanyeol had to use the washroom and I was asked to go ahead without them. The moment I entered the hall, my eyes wandered over the vast space that could possibly hold a capacity of five hundred seated guests. Standing at the entrance, I spotted the other bridesmaids and groomsmen crowding around the front seats. They were in the middle of a conversation, incognizant of my arrival. I walked right down the aisle, underneath me was a red velvet’s carpet that led from the entrance towards the altar. Suho, the eldest one of the group and also the best man, was the first to notice me as I approached. At the sound of his voice calling my name, the other shifted their attention to me and I greeted each one of them with a friendly hug. These people were my closest friends, meaning, each one of them knew about my recent break-up with my ex and they were very very concerned. It was honestly a little tiring for me to convince them that I was alright. But, still, I was grateful to be surrounded by kind people like them who cared about me. A couple of minutes later, Chanyeol and Soyeon arrived at the hall and we were left with Baekhyun and Aera. While waiting for them, the guys started discussing a work-related topic, while the girls raved about the lovely wedding decorations. I, on the other hand, was more interested in the music ensemble that was currently having a soundcheck. The string quartet was playing the instrumental version of Elton John’s Can You Feel The Love Tonight. I made my way up the altar and took a seat on the vacant grand piano bench. While I sat and listened attentively to the music, I noticed something was missing. The melody. The strings were only playing the accompaniment without the melody. I wondered if Kyungsoo had hired a pianist or if the grand piano was here just for display. While I was immersed in my own thoughts, I felt a gentle brush of a hand across my cheek and a familiar low voice saying ‘You look beautiful’ to me. My heart skipped a beat and I looked up. Standing there was my boyfriend, Baekhyun, in his black suit. He was staring down at me with those warm eyes that had never failed to mesmerize me. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Will I ever stop feeling this way? That feeling of giddiness and excitement whenever he was around. God...I hoped not. “Thank you.” I smiled up at him. “You look fine too.” More than fine actually, you look perfect…. "Scoot over," he instructed, and I shifted to the side to make some room for him to sit. We were sitting side by side on the bench with our arms and our thighs touching against each other. Such simple contact caused my heart raced. All of a sudden, his fingers gripped my chin, turning my head so I was facing him. He made quick glances from left to right, looking almost suspicious. I was wondering what he was going to do until he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine for a quick kiss. Gasping, I leaned back, “What if someone sees us?” I said in a loud whisper while shifting my gaze to the group of people down the stage. I felt a surge of relief when I saw that they were still occupied with a conversation among themselves. And I’d also noted the absence of his date, “Where is Aera?” I asked, looking back at him. “She's in the toilet,” he answered. “Why are you sitting here all alone?" My bottom lips jutted forward in a pout, "Because I'm sad that my boyfriend left me alone for another girl." "Sweetheart," his face hardened, suddenly turning serious, "You just have to say the word and I'll ditch my date for you." Shaking my head, I reached up to brush my knuckles across his cheek, "I was just kidding, my love." In a matter of seconds, the tension on his face dissipated, "Say that again?" he said, as though he couldn't believe what he just heard. "Say what? I was just kidding?" "No. The last two words." "My love?" His face lightened up and he hummed in satisfaction, "I like it." I chuckled, "I can see that." "Say it again." "My love." He looked so happy that it amazed me. Did he realize how endearing he is? I'd say the word over and over again just so I could see that smile on his face. "You fascinate me, Baekhyun." I told him sincerely as I ran my thumb across his cheek in a soft caress. He lifted his hand and placed it over mine, "You do the same to me too."

Final Part is here.

#baekhyun #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun ff #exo smut #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun x reader #baekhyunx reader smut #baekhyun angst #baekhyun x reader fluff

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xx-obliviousfantasy-xx · 5 years ago

Text

Roasting Myself

Quick note:

Okay so bc I'm writing this on my phone, I can't take a photo of the document history to show you the stupidness. I apologise for that, but just try to imagine the fricken like... Stupidness.

Edit: The original version is on Wattpad still so nvm I'll be adding both Wattpad and Google Doc screenshots, but I did not have as many dates on Wattpad so only for some sections will I use Wattpad.

Edit: My photos keep going to the bottom. Idfk what to do whatever I hate Tumblr with a burning passion.

~~~~

So, I gotta vent about my stupidity.

Okay so the time frame I set back in 7th grade for this book idea I have is completely stupid. What I wrote didn't make any actual sense because I contradicted it. Which makes sense, because I was stupid. But doesn't, because now that I'm older, I should've caught it.

The story is called 3044(Destined Stars). I definitely stole that last part from something. I thought it was the game Mystic Messenger but it's not. The more I think about it, the more it seem like it though.

The problem is that with how far away 3044 is, it doesn't even make sense for humans to be how they are then, or even be alive tbh. I'm pretty sure they'll be extinct by then. I don't even know big we'll last 200 more years tbh. Or even 50.

Another problem, is I still do that thing where I fucking forget there's a bunch of numbers in between and skip up. So basically, with how I write the dates, I made the years really far apart with the dates and shit. Like REAAALLLLY. Like from being 10-ish years apart to skipping ahead nearly 1,000. Because I am a dumbass and didn't think "Wow this doesn't make any effing sense. This makes some of your events very insignificant because of evolution, and your characters old as dinosaurs."

(But I'm just now remembering I did day Humans live longer, which, could be taken to interpretation but besides the point.)

To better understand:

I literally had the dates like 2070, 2080, 2090, to then, 3000, 3010, 3015, 3025.

Like... That jump was so fucking huge but I didn't realise.

But because I was attached to the makeshift title I gave it, because it came from my friend's favorite number (but because I have issues with flipping numbers I found out was wrong later in after naming the story. I have still kept it that number though even years after),

Instead of doing the easy thing, I wrote in the stupidest, most confusing, complicated thing ever.

And then, after reading through my dates again and actually doing the math, it was like "Wait a second, this doesn't make any sense because this event started before this character (Hyacinth) was born, but after this one (Aleya) was two years old" or something like that. Idk. Like... It's wonky because my characters are certain ages in the story, but, by the date I set things, they happen waaaay too before they were born which would mean they'd stop mattering so much.

But thankfully, I thought recently, why don't I just f-ing make the dates that date? What's the reason for all of the complicated stuff?

(Also, I think I was gonna change the date again which is why it still makes no sense.)

( But then something happened. Idk. I honestly might bring the ages down again bc it makes sense. Because... The time still doesn't make sense because I'd have to age Hyacinth up.)

Generally, I just placed some events out of sequence. Like, I said space cities finished construction before they even started building them. Idk, it was a fucking mess and one of the first things I wrote confused me a lot because I was like "Did I delete something?"

It also made Aleya reaaaally older than Hyacinth because I set a significant date in her birth 15 years before the date of the story so it either

Aleya is 24 and Hyacinth is 20. It was 18 and 21 before,

I just- Oh my God. So, I'm deleting that, and going to make it better. Also I accidentally made the Earth 3044 years old, when, that's absurd. I said the Earth aged faster in that Universe, but that's too fast. Like- I just- wtf?

But the year is also 3044.7b2? Is that for the universe? See it just doesn't make sense. Idk how it made sense in my head. The Earth is 3044 years old but the Earth is not the age of the universe right now so why would the Earth be the age of the universe unless the Universe reset itself entirely and made everything come back at the same time?

And then I said that after that war, the first alien race I talked about plus some other planets, created a treated together.

I think I remember that at first a lot of planets were sucked into a black hole but spit out and made again but faster? Idk. It's so confusing.

(That's when I wrote it on Wattpad and how it was before the rewrite below)

Then there is this dumb contradictory mistake I made again because I said a certain race of aliens with a very awful name was first to contact the Earth at a certain time and helped them and create a treaty,

It's just so messed up and it's because I:

1) Didn't check some of my SEVENTH GRADE WRITING EVEN THOUGH IM IN NINTH NOW,

However I then wrote a different one with a less awful name did before that and went to war with them. As seen above and below.

2) Didn't check my Math, and-

Also apparently the whole story is being told but a space child who created Earth by accident and has grown find if her creation. Also one of the things I changed that made it complicated was saying that 3044 was the number of times Earth restarted. But I forgot that part because I constantly skim over that part.

3) Am still writing it in a bad Tumblr/Wattpad fanfic manner instead of a genuinely good writer pov.

Like... It's genuinely so bad that idk how it didn't click in until now. Maybe it's because after watching a nearly 2hr video about how bad Yandere Simulator and Yandere Dev is, and then two reviews of Onision's books I've already seen, I began to be very afraid of being on the same level as them in terrible production of anything.

I'm going to to fix this and re-plot it and then re-writes it because this is horrible, even for a first draft.

My incompetence a m a z e s me.

My understanding of math scares me.

#obliviousfantasy633 #obliviousfantasy #writer #writing #rant #criticism

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danisnotofire · 7 years ago

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Do you have any advice for writing? I used to do it all the time but then I just didnt have time for it anymore. And now I want to get back into it and I keep trying to write, but Im hit with this overwhelming doubt/anxiety that it sucks. And I dont plan on posting my writing anywhere so I dont understand why Im so nervous about writing to the point where I want to cry and cant do it. And I really want to work through it but its just so difficult. Any advice? -🌳

i’m not sure how good i’ll be at giving advice on this, because i often feel the same way!!!

but ig that leads me to my first point, anon, and that is, you have to understand that that anxious feeling never really goes away. sometimes you feel better about it, sure, and sometimes you’ll write something and know you were meant to write it, but 98.7% of the time you will be screaming and crying into ur document and thinking you’ve been a failure and faking any ability to write this whole time. you have to understand that that’s all part of it. but you have to understand: it doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. i really think you have to internalize that if u ever wanna write anything.

the best thing to get over feeling awkward and robotic is to separate yourself from what you’re writing. when i got back into writing fic (it’d been like, legit 4 years lmaooo) it was hard to put myself aside and stop feeling weird about writing it. i felt that same stiffness/awkwardness when i started journaling too. the best thing you can do for it is just understand that nobody is going to read it unless you want them to. it’s not going anywhere. the only person who’s gonna judge it is you.

once you get over that, write as much as fucking possible. it doesn’t need to be a lot. it can be a sentence. it can be a few hundred words. it can be a fuckin novel. just write something. the only reason i’m VAGUELY good is because i’ve been doing it for a longass time.

i’ve been writing creatively on and off since like,,, third grade. i’m now a sophomore in college. you just gotta churn out as much content as possible. i promise you, eventually it will be good.

if you can, i think writing classes are actually super helpful for this. i used to kind of shun them and look down on them because i thought somebody teaching me how to write would take away my own style. it actually helped me refine it, mostly because it got me into writing again after going so long without it. i was forced to write every week for a whole semester, and it kind of became a habit that i continued all through the summer.

fun fact: i don’t think no such mirrors would exist in the form it does now if i hadn’t taken that class!!

BUT: I get that classes aren’t always available to you. there are definitely ways u can get urself in that habit!!! you can do nanowrimo (which i did my freshman and sophomore years of high school, where you write 50k in 30 days just to pretty much see if you can. i CANNOT recommend nanowrimo enough. up until no such mirrors, that was my proudest artistic accomplishment)

FIND TIME TO WRITE WHENEVER, WHEREVER YOU CAN. you are going to have to sacrifice certain things to find time to write, but that’s all part of it. i struggled in doing this when i started school this semester because i went from having mostly my entire week free to having like, zero time to write, which is why it took a month for no such mirrors to update. it also sucked because writing makes me feel better about myself, because it helps me be a more productive member of society or something, and so, although it was hard, it became super important to me to find a time to fit that back into my schedule (i ended up carving out a few hours after my last class of the day on MWF, which happened to be my english class with a prof whomst i ADORE, so i always left feeling super inspired. and now i usually go to the silent floor of the library for a few hours and pound out a few thousand words. it’s not ideal, and ofc i’d rather be taking a nap or decompressing from class, but at least it’s something!)

i know this is harder to do, but i really do think posting your work helps!! i love writing fic because you get INSTANTANEOUS feedback on your skills, and it helps you develop them in a (largely) positive and supportive atmosphere. the people who are reading fic are the people who WANT to like it, who are just desperate for any content they can get. it’s such a good space to learn and grow as a writer (i started writing and posting fic when i was like, 12 years old. my percy jackson days. pre-tumblr. lmao #neverforget)

i know this is SUPER FUCKING CHEESY, but another thing that helps you become a better writer is to read as much as possible. read anything. read fanfiction from authors you admire. read YA novels. read children’s books. read the classics.

and then, (and this is something i will shamelessly do lol), pick your favorites, and try and mimic their style as an exercise!!! i recently read james joyce’s “a portrait of the artist as a young man” for class. it’s now one of my favorite books. and so what i did was go to google docs and pound out a few hundred words just trying to mimic the style. it ended up being a weird 1500-word-wip. most of it is garbage, but i wrote lines i’m really fucking proud of.

obviously don’t like, plagiarize. but what i’ve come to understand is that you can learn something from everything you read. whether it’s a certain type of metaphor, or a kind of characterization, or the art of simplicity, or a way of writing dialogue, or a stylistic thing. and by mimicking that style as a writing exercise or using their style as inspiration for your own work, you help refine what you like, and what your style is.

i will never be james joyce. that’s pretty obvious. but my version of james joyce is its own style of writing altogether, and it’s not necessarily bad! it’s its own style that i can then learn bits and pieces from later on. to me, writing is this weird ungodly mix of natural ability/learned style and compiling what you like about other authors into your own work. it’s a messy process, but eventually you will churn out something you like. and that’s what matters: producing content that you enjoy. everything else will come in time. (did i think anybody would read engagement sequence? uh, no. i hoped they would, and honestly i do wish that fic was recognized more than it was (bc any author who says they don’t care about feedback is LYING) but mostly i was writing it because i had SO MUCH FUN writing that fic. i’m probably most proud of that piece of writing out of everything i’ve ever written. it came from me combining poetry and prose into this weird pseudo mix of both)

another thing that’s easier said than done: DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER AUTHORS. this is something i CONSTANTLY struggle with (to the point where i get SUPER down on myself if i’m not getting the same amount of anons asking about my work or comments or kudos or fuckin’ whatever). it’s something i CONSTANTLY have to work on, but it’s so so important, and the sooner you start working away from this habit the better off you’ll be.

if anything, USE these authors as people to learn from!! ask them questions about their process!! read their works and take note of what worked really well and how they executed it, so maybe you can incorporate that into things that you write later on.

IMPORTANT: COMMENT ON WORKS. COMMENTING ON WORKS DOESN’T ONLY BENEFIT THE AUTHOR, BUT IT ALSO BENEFITS YOU AS A WRITER. commenting helps you specify and work out EXACTLY what you liked about a certain piece. even if you don’t think it does anything, it actually puts words to specific things that you like, which then helps you incorporate it into your own writing. also?? long, thoughtful comments make an author’s fuckin DAY. someone once left like an 8 paragraph review on my fic, and i could. not. stop. rereading. it. for the better part of a week. TRULY.

take yourself less seriously. honestly. as much as it kind of sucks, writing is supposed to be fun and ultimately, it’s supposed to be rewarding. let yourself experiment with style and dialogue and characterization. who fucking cares? i wrote 300 words about spaghetti steam as a metaphor for jeremy’s parents’ divorce the other day. it doesn’t matter! nobody will read it!! that’s what editing is for.

it also might help to talk about your writing process!! i know i love doing this, and i see loads of other authors do it too. it’s so, so, so fun to complain about writing, because writing is really fucking hard. even the pieces that come easiest to me are still a pain in the ass to write. 99.99% of the time i write, i would rather be doing something, anything else. who wants to sit and cry into a computer screen? nobody in their right mind. ya do it because you love it, and you love the final product and you love seeing what you’re able to do, what you’re capable of creating.

if you’re having trouble starting, pick literally the first thing that comes to mind and write as much or as little as you fuckin’ want. remember, you’re in control! you can do as much or as little as you want. when i started writing no such mirrors, i had NO IDEA it was gonna become what it was. i started the fic with jeremy throwing a baseball up in the air and some random dialogue. i didn’t know what role everybody else was gonna play. i didn’t know it was gonna turn into an actual fucking novel. i had no idea! i just had the idea of jeremy laying on his back and tossing a baseball into the air repeatedly. why? i legitimately could not tell you! but it worked. it felt right and natural and easy, and here we are 72k later.

that being said, IT’S NOT ALWAYS GOING TO FEEL RIGHT AND NATURAL AND EASY! you’re just gonna have to write through that! it’s gonna fucking suck a lot of the time, especially with longer works! i fucking hate certain chunks of no such mirrors, to the point where i can’t even bear to look at them.

this leads into another point, which is….

you’re going to feel like you’re faking it. that’s okay. keep writing. i doubt in my abilities every. goddamn. day. i reread my fics probably daily and can’t understand why anybody would like them, half the time. i feel like the characters’ interactions are forced and awkward and unnatural, i think the dialogue is boring, i think their feelings don’t feel real and i don’t feel like their motivations have depth. i feel like the plot is hanging on with masking tape and thread. every author will feel this way at some point or another. i know that sounds fake, because i’ll read posts like that from my favorite authors and can’t believe they would write anything except perfection. so you have to remember, it’s in your head most of the time.

however, that’s not to say you’re perfect. you aren’t. there’s no such thing as a perfect writer. sometimes it’s healthy to listen to that voice in your head to try and improve. you just can’t let it become the loudest part of your writing process.

so yeah! those are my writing tips!! that was a lot and im really sorry if it was all cliche and cheesy bullshit, but i promise they work, or at least help a little bit!!

i hope you can get out of ur slump, because i love writing so much and hope i never stop doing it (even if i say i hate it l o l) and i really hope you can get to the point where you feel comfortable saying the same

#writing advice #writing tips #writing #Anonymous #I'M SO SORRY TO MOBILE USERS #long post //

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