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rjmhereunderprotest · 2 years ago

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Crossed Paths & Tangled Webs: Why I Ship SpiderCat

This is gonna be a controversial one through no fault of my own... but also it's all my own damn fault. A confusing contradicting statement to be sure, but when you're talking about Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy, that statement seems to ring the most true. Two people who are as perfect for each other as they are imperfect. In love through no fault of their own... and completely at fault for being so.

My poll for another ship to cover picked this... I'm more than happy to talk about it but we're dealing with volatile stuff right now. As I write this, Spider-Man and Black Cat actually ARE in a relationship with each other. Peter has recently stated that he no longer feels romantically for his long-time love-interest, Mary Jane, calling her more akin to a sister. MJ was apparently stuck in some post-apocalyptic Narnia situation where enough time passed for her to have kids with another guy. And if that wasn't enough... Mary Jane may be about to join Gwen Stacey in the fridge, if you get my meaning. As Zeb Wells is teasing the most shocking Spider-Man story since Gwen Stacey's death and the solicits for the story afterwards say Spider-Man is about to suffer a terrible loss. Felicia is on the covers of at least one of those issues. So unless it's a complete fake out and Wells is going to kill off a relationship he has stated he both prefers and spent a ton of time setting up at the expense of the preferred romance among fans... yeah it's not looking good for MJ. I mean he might kill off Aunt May again, but... well there's no guarantees in comics... ever.

This is a strange time period to be a long suffering SpiderCat shipper. I have held a torch for these two for such a long time it feels like almost second nature. I see Felicia, I want to see her with Peter. No one else, man or woman, will do. (Yes she's Bi, shut up, it's canon) Yet right now, a SpiderCat shipper is now writing the Spider-Man books and everyone seems to absolutely hate Zeb Wells' execution of it all. I've gotten what I wanted, at last, but fans are outright rejecting it. Not so much for Felicia and Peter being together mind you, as much as they're annoyed MJ is being thrown under the bus.

Which I get actually, I may have wanted this ship over Peter/MJ, but not at her expense. I don't want her DEAD or badly written. And given how Marvel has basically treated MJ and Peter over the years, it's hard to argue that these reactions are anything but justified. Even decades later, One More Day's shadow still looms large. Marvel has constantly teased and poked and prodded and snickered about the possibility of Mary Jane and Peter Parker becoming an item again. If not married, at the very least dating. But Marvel seems insistent on this point. "The Marriage was a mistake, we're never going back to it. And anything that is even remotely similar to that status quo is not allowed. Ever." The inability of Marvel's Spidey writers to craft a compelling happy marriage between Peter and MJ has been an albatross around the neck of the ship forever! Even when they did it in an ongoing, it had to be a different universe! One where the Civil War comics event wasn't a thing, so that was also a plus. And MJ had to get Spider Powers too in order to smooth over the whole thing for writers.

So, yeah, MJ's been blamed for making Spider-Books dull and kept at arms length from Peter as much as possible. Because if Spider-Man is EVER TOO HAPPY that can only spell DOOM for the character. His world must always revolve around misery. Linkara of AT4W has said it time and again, in the eyes of Marvel, Spider-Man can never be allowed to be happy.

And yet, despite all that, I still hold true to this maxim, Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy are made for each other. If I ever had an OTP, if I ever had a ship I'd die for, if there was ever any romance I was forever evergreen invested in... it was SpiderCat. Despite whatever the world says, that it can't work, that it's a bad idea, that they don't need each other, that it will never be the way Peter/MJ were once... I don't care. I reject all of that and state proudly, without shame, every time that Spider-Man and the Black Cat are and always shall be perfect for each other.

So Let's Talk about Why that is...

Usually I'm inclined to give brief synopsis points about both characters in separate sections. But Spider-Man is so well known and Black Cat so simply explained in their initial set ups it feels almost... pointless. When you can describe at least one half of the shipping dynamic with a theme song from a sixties cartoon it's hard to honestly come up with anything new or original.

So yeah, Peter Parker, nerdy wimp who gets bitten by a radioactive spider, doesn't get cancer from this, but super powers. Thinks about using these great powers to enrich his life, but after letting a criminal get away because it's "not his problem" he learns a harsh lesson about responsibility. His uncle dies at the hands of said criminal, it's all his fault, and Peter proclaims that as long as he has these powers he will use them to help people.

And as a result, Spider-Man is the hero that always gets up because he has to, he needs to. Because people, strangers and loved ones, depend on him. This comes at the cost of a great deal of things that would make him personally happy. Because if Spider-Man is about anything, it's about personal sacrifice and responsibility. It has been a running theme since his first comic and will continue until the heat death of the universe. If you know nothing else of Spider-Man, this is the most important fact about him going forward for the rest of this essay. Spider-Man is Responsibility and Self-Sacrifice Personified. Whenever he doesn't live up to either aspect of himself, bad things happen, to him, to the people he cares about and New York City at large.

On the other side of that coin, Felicia Hardy, aka the Black Cat. Infamous thief. While her origins are more fluid throughout her incarnations, her general story is pretty much the same. Felicia is a thrill seeking thief, who lives for the daredevil rush only a well-executed heist can accomplish. The Black Cat persona is that of a femme fatale thief of the highest order. There's no question that she shares more than a few similarities to Catwoman of Batman fame. Save for the fact she might possess a slight passive power that causes bad luck to her opponents.

Different character of course, but that's just to establish that it is a superpower. Felicia uses it mainly to steal whatever she wants and get away scot-free. She, in general, tries to avoid personal consequences for these actions. While her motives may vary from one story or universe to the next, ultimately her purpose in life is the same. To live for herself, for her needs and how she wants. The Black Cat persona is just that, a means to indulge in her wants and desires to the fullest extent. She is, inherently, self-serving and selfish whereas Spider-Man is selfless.

On the surface this presents a dynamic akin to oil and water. Spider-Man is an avatar of personal responsibility. The Black Cat is the personification of independent self-interest. They are such opposites, such contradictions, that they should just not work. They should be enemies... and that is how they started.

Amazing Spider-Man #194, Black Cat's first appearance where she and Spidey come to blows over her illicit activities. Felicia has contracted a crew for a job to spring her terminally ill father from prison. Spider-Man tries to stop her, only to end up buried under the rubble of the exploding prison wall. Black Cat flees the scene with a quip about crossing her path and Spidey with a bad arm post-fight. The next issue sees Spidey deduce Felicia's real identity and that Felicia only broke her father out so he could spend his dying hours with his wife and her mother. Spidey and Cat come to blows outside arguing over the merits of what she's done. However in the struggle Black Cat starts to fall off a roof into a surging river below. Spidey catches her with his bad arm, trying to stop her fall... but can't hold on as Felicia seemingly falls to her death. He tries to return to the Hardy residence, only to see Felicia's mother in grief over the death of her husband. Not wanting to add to it... Spidey leaves.

Of course, this isn't the end for Felicia, issue #204 sees the Black Cat return. She's actually been watching him it seems, taking photos of him swinging around town. They get reacquainted at the museum where Cat manages to slip away again after another fight with Spider-Man. Felicia is annoyed though that he keeps fighting her, not understanding why she's doing this. And by the next issue it's revealed, the art pieces Felicia stole were meant to symbolize what she thinks of Spidey. Namely, that she has developed a crush on him. No doubt because, despite trouncing him almost every time they've fought, she's clearly enjoyed all of it. And Spidey hasn't exactly helped in that regard as he has routinely flirted with her. He can't help it, she is hot. Felicia claims she wants to leave thieving behind, at the behest of her mother and she would like Spider-Man to help her reform. Seeing a similarity to a current situation with a girl he's instructing, and that Felicia might be suffering a bit of a mental break as a result of her father's death, he promises to get her help.

These introductory stories set the stage for Felicia and Peter's on again off again relationship for years to come. Felicia is self-servingly selfish, desiring things that aren't hers. Yet her motives are more complicated than pure greed, it is always based somewhat around her emotional state. Her need to give her father and mother some closure before she passes, her desire for Spider-Man to lead her out of a life of crime, as per her mother's wishes. She isn't evil, she has noble intent, she just goes about it in very self-centered ways. Spidey, in the meantime, is selfless to a fault. He'll keep chasing her down, he'll keep trying to set her straight, keep trying to stop her crime sprees. He is drawn to her by his selflessness and sense of responsibility to prevent her from just getting away with whatever she wants. But he does genuinely want to help her and he will not take advantage of her fragile emotional state, even if he himself is somewhat into her. Hell, the first thing he thinks about when he first sees her is that he hopes she isn't a criminal because he'd like to ask her out. He is clearly drawn to Felicia, even if it only starts out as pure infatuation, but he will not take advantage of her interest in him because he knows better than to try to exploit that for his own self-interest.

Of course it's a lie, well partially. Felicia faked being crazy to more easily escape a psychiatric hospital than a prison. But she is indeed in love with him. After her escape, she invites Spidey to a masquerade ball via a sky writer. Ultimately revealing that she lied to him about her mental breakdown in a selfish bid to escape consequences for her actions. But she wants to make up for it now, because this masquerade ball is being hosted by mafioso she stole from and says Spidey can now arrest them all! Crime is too easy she thinks, superheroing is her next thrill seeking adventure and she wants to do it with him. And despite being tricked and more than a little bribed into this, Spider-Man decides ultimately why not give it a try? If she really does want to go straight for him... isn't the responsible thing to do with her to help her out even if her motives are a tiny bit selfish?

This is how their romance starts and sets up the ultimate tug of war dynamic. Spider-Man does want Black Cat, but is wary of her desire to push him into a more selfish mindset. Black Cat actually desires Spider-Man, but can't get over her compulsive selfishness. In this story alone she has to sort of trick Spider-Man into coming to a date that's actually a mafioso party that he can break up. It's a highly manipulative plan that appeals to her selfish infatuation and Spider-Man's selfless heroism. It is a constant push and pull between them at multiple points. By all accounts, they should not work and a good deal of comics past this point go on and on about why they can't work.

I could cover the lengthy relationship between both characters throughout the 80s, Spidey was actually dating Felicia for a long time during the Black Suit days, even after he gave up the Symbiote. And for the most part this dynamic does not entirely change. Peter wants to help Black Cat be a better person before he can truly commit to her. Felicia wants to be a better person and make things work with Spider-Man, but she has a hard time wrapping her head around selfless action over selfish indulgence. It's the roadblock between them truly working as a couple. And there are a ton of moments during this time period I could talk about, but frankly, they are ALL before my time.

None of them really prove my point either, all I've done is just explain why their dynamic as a couple is riveting. It's not exactly like Batman and Catwoman's, but its of a similar vein. The key difference is Spider-Man, being who he is, isn't as opposed to the idea at first as Bruce is with Selina. Catwoman plays a lot harder to get for a lot longer than Black Cat, she also doesn't become Batman's superhero partner. Felicia and Peter by contrast are much younger though, so their reasoning is frankly more in line with their age demographic. They're just quicker to jump in than most people. The only thing holding them back is Black Cat and Spidey's diametrically opposed ideologies, even though we'll see those two viewpoints somewhat crisscross soon enough.

If you want to know however where I actually came in on this, we need to hop over to another universe. The one firmly positioned in the decade that defines the pop cultural wasteland... the 90s.

In an effort to compete with DC's Batman cartoon, Marvel fast tracked a Spider-Man show into production. While not on the same technical/narrative level as the landmark Batman: The Animated Series, Spider-Man: The Animated Series still did a tremendous job at capturing the essence of the character and is still a good series in its own. Even on a recent rewatch, I was surprised to see how well-thought out and true to form the series was. Yes, it's overuse of repeated animation and various other shortcuts was annoying, it certainly wasn't perfect, even by 90s standards, but it deserves recognition where it counts. Part of that was, in my opinion, the dynamic between Felicia and Peter Parker/Black Cat and Spider-Man. It certainly wasn't a slamdunk, I'm going to talk about where the writers fumbled it, but when it worked it worked and I think those parts where it worked so well were what cemented the idea in my head that this relationship, fraught as it was, COULD become something everlasting.

There's no hiding that Felicia's story is completely different from the comics. She actually knows Peter to begin with before she even becomes the Black Cat. They actually date for a while and despite the fact Peter is poorer than dirt, she is clearly interested in him and remains so for a good portion of season one. Peter's first kiss in the series is Felicia in fact. Even when MJ is in the picture, Peter is still torn between her and Felicia.

You might think we're dealing with a Betty and Veronica situation, but it never really materializes as such. Felicia and MJ never really meet this early and Felicia herself isn't really the rich girl stereotype. She's not particularly girlish or whinny. She doesn't really look down on anyone for their status. In fact she more often than not tries to rebel against the stereotype. She does a lot of charity work, she shows concern for the good of New York's citizens and she gives credit to those who deserve it, not just because they flatter her. She also gives Peter a lot of chances despite seemingly screwing up with her. She is reluctant at first to go out with him, but is not embarassed to be seen with him. The issue that arises is, from her perspective, Peter is never around when she gets in major trouble... but Spider-Man is. This become important later, but the thing to note is she is still close friends with Peter for a good amount of time and shows an interest in hm.

The only reason Felicia doesn't get with Peter is, again, Peter's terrible luck as a result of his responsibilities as Spider-Man. He accidentally stands Felicia up one too many times and she... ugh... ends up falling for Michael Morbius. Yes... that Morbius. No, we're not doing the meme. I only bring it up here because its one of the flaws in the show, Morbius as Felicia's love interest feels so incredibly out of place. It exists purely to prevent Felicia and Peter from getting together because nothing about it works. Morbius is hardly charming, he's somewhat of a creep, he's rude, abrasive and his petty rivalry with Peter just makes him unlikable. Its this petty bullshit rivalry, in fact, that causes Morbius' transformation into a Vampire monster in this continuity. Peter tries to claim responsibility for it because it was caused with his radioactive blood, but Morbius was an asshole and did it to himself. He's at fault and he sucks... pun not intended, not entirely. But because he's doing all this to stop a plague in his home country, and he saves Felicia this one time when Peter doesn't show, we're supposed to buy that she's smitten with him. And I do not buy it. In fact, I'd argue the show's writers didn't even buy it and were somewhat forced to do this so they wouldn't step on the iconic romance with Peter and MJ.

Morbius' subsequent flight into exile, as he basically becomes a mutant bat monster, starts an ongoing subplot with Felicia, the fact she has seemingly terrible luck with men. Early on, after Morbius has left her life, Felicia begins to develop a crush on Spider-Man, as at this point he's been there for her more than most other men in her life, saving her or her mother. Spider-Man, as a result, has become a very huge constant staple in her life, more so than any other man as far she can see. Peter, despite his messy love life, does care for Felicia, and is very quick to jump in to help her whenever she is in trouble. Partially because of his connection to her, partly because he still blames himself for Morbius' transformation. So Peter is spending a lot of time as Spider-Man with Felicia at this point, more so than MJ even who is dating Harry Osborn for a while. As far as Felicia is concerned, Spider-Man has become something akin to a knight in shining armor who is always there for her. She can't help but fall for him.

She reveals this by suddenly kissing him on the balcony, pulling up the mask half-way and everything. Peter, however, says he can't reciprocate, as much as he probably still has feelings for Felicia. He says he can't have a girlfriend though because it would put her in danger. It's bunk of course, he's still trying to be with MJ even though she's currently with Harry, but I imagine it plants an idea in Felicia's head. Regardless, for now she's crestfallen and this leads her into the arms of another man, Jason Phillips Macendale, a rich well to do playboy-type. Even still, she retains her feelings Spider-Man throughout their relationship. There is a scene at a carnival where Jason wins a stuffed Spider for her, which she remarks she finds spiders cute while he acts rather annoyed and jealous over it. Despite the fact she very clearly still wants Spidey to be with her, Felicia does agree to marry Jason when he proposes.

At the engagement party, which Peter attends with MJ as she has dumped Harry at this point, he changes into Spider-Man to spy on the Kingpin and Osborn over some business with the Hobgoblin. Annoyed he has to leave MJ to deal with this problem, he's interrupted by Felicia.

She asks if he's here to wish her good luck and Peter fumbles his words in saying as much. Which leads to this exchange:

Spidey: Do you really love this Jason Phillips guy?

Felicia: And why should you care about that? Unless you got a better offer?

Spidey: (Thoughts) This is crazy, I can't have one girlfriend as Peter Parker and another as Spider-Man! (Speaking) No, I don't... I just want you to be happy.

As Spidey swings away, Felicia mournfully says "So do I." It's a very clear statement, she's settling. Jason is rich and powerful and the person she's expected to marry due to who she is, but she's not really sure about it, or happy. Because the man she wants is currently swinging away. It's obvious that, in Felicia's eyes, she's missing something in her life that makes her happy and Spider-Man seems to be that something. Likewise, Peter, the paragon of self-responsibility, knows he can't abuse his secret identity to cheat on MJ, even though he seems very tempted to admit that he still has feelings for Felicia. But in the end, all he cares about is her happiness and if she can find it in this Jason dude, who is he to ruin that?

Well, he doesn't have to ruin it. Because we find out, shock of all shocks, Jason is the Hobgoblin and the revelation shakes Felicia to her core. The fact that this person she was dating, this man who she decided on because she couldn't have Spider-Man was a fraud, a criminal, a liar... it's a terrible thing to realize how poor your judgment is. Almost reaffirming that this was the wrong choice from the start.

Spidey of course once again comes swinging to her rescue and defeats the Hobgoblin. But Felicia has questions for her former fiancé. Jason relents that he used crime to create everything he is and get everything he has, including her. She's just another possession to him. What she deep down probably feared going into this, why her heart wasn't in this, why she wanted Spider-Man to give her a way out and save her again.

Felicia: I have to know, did you ever really love me?

Jason: I don't know. I love things about you. Your wealth, your beauty, your refinement.

Felicia: That's not love! I've experienced true love... and it's nothing like that.

And we don't get a flashback to Morbius, as this show constantly does because it's very not subtle, we don't see her talk about bat boy at all. She looks directly at Spider-Man as she says this and the camera zooms in on him as she speaks those words. This overtly informs the audience what love means in Felicia's mind. Love in Felicia's mind is being there for someone, who Spider-Man has been for a long time now. And more importantly, it's about wanting that person to be happy, which was all Spider-Man said he ever wanted. Spidey never asked anything of Felicia, he was just there for her and perhaps, in Felicia's mind, the reason he can't return it is because she can't be there in the same way. She is after all a damsel who he needs to keep saving and Spider-Man made it an issue that they can't be together because she'd be in danger.

In fact, this incident has given Felicia a complex that alludes to her future. "Every time I give my heart to someone, disaster strikes!" She sobs to Spider-Man. "I'm like a Black Cat spreading bad luck to everyone who crosses my path! Including my own."

By the next season things have taken a turn for the tragic, Mary Jane has vanished into realms unknown after mirroring Gwen Stacey's fall from a bridge into an interdimensional portal. As far as Peter knows though she's just gone, maybe forever. They can't say dead on this show, you know how it is.

This would probably leave the door back open for Felicia, but Peter is in no mental condition for another relationship right now and Felicia is smitten with Spider-Man, not Peter. Although he does wonder if she could help him with his grief as he swings over to her apartment. Not to say she doesn't care for Peter, but her heart belongs to his masked vigilante persona. In fact, so much so that she proclaims that Spider-Man is the only good thing in her life during that same visit. (Granted this is after an attack by Doctor Octopus, but the point stands) It's obvious that Felicia is now clinging to Spider-Man as one of the few constants in her life at this point, what with repeatedly being placed in danger by monsters and maniacs. The lack of control and helplessness is eating at her terribly.

However, this does lead into what we've all been waiting for, Felicia's transformation into the Black Cat and the start of the multi-episode season storyline, "Partners in Danger."

Felicia's father isn't just a cat burglar anymore. It turns out he got a peek at the formula for the Super Soldier serum back in WW2. He was almost tricked into giving it to the Nazis but managed to evade them. He was a kid at the time and was on the run for several decades. He's been in SHIELD custody for the past few years, until now when the Chameleon breaks him out only to hand him over to the Kingpin. Soon after, Doctor Octopus kidnaps Felicia and brings him to Fisk to reunite her with her father. And basically blackmail her into performing crimes for Fisk to test out the Super Soldier formula.

Yes, the Black Cat in the 90s Animated Series is basically a super soldier thief. It is suggested its not a complete process, but it grants Felicia more capability than she used to have. As the Black Cat she's now stronger, faster, more agile, versatile and has heightened senses. She's basically a mini-Captain America sans shield and a less patriotic aesthetic. Also, the Serum allows her to completely alter herself, her hair turns white and grows longer, while she also becomes more ripped and taller. This is so people won't really recognize her, an important detail for later.

While it's obvious Felicia hates being forced to go along with this to protect her father, she doesn't hate the new powers she's been granted and seeks to use them to eventually turn the tables on Fisk and save her dad. However, for the time being she gets in more than a few scrapes with Spider-Man, one of which leaves him knocked out in front of her. She considers pulling off his mask, but decides against it, preferring him to do it for her himself. She does plant a kiss though, the first of many as the Black Cat. The sequence is clear, Felicia is no longer the damsel but Spider-Man's equal and she hopes that this means things can change.

True, Felicia still gets into trouble and Spider-Man has to save her before the episode is out, but they actually do come together as partners by the end and effectively work together to defeat Fisk and save her father. Sadly, he has to return to SHIELD custody, of his own free will, to prevent the secrets he knows from ever getting out. I'd kinda like to to think they would give him a more witness protection situation than imprisonment for the guy, even if he did become a thief. It's SHIELD though, it's kinda expected they don't always do the sensible thing.

However this sets up the dynamic for the next few episodes as Black Cat and Spider-Man work together more and more. Spider-Man is reluctant at first, still mourning Mary Jane, but Black Cat manages to shake him out of that stupor. Reminding him not to close himself off in his grief. And Spidey himself remarks, as he and Black Cat work together, that he's actually having fun for once as Spider-Man. This is something to keep in mind, Black Cat actually challenges Spider-Man more often than not throughout their time together. Pushing him to remember why he does this job, stopping his pity parties cold, reminding him to not see his power as a burden that he so often does and as a gift he uses to help people. Even if she's not the same self-serving Felicia from the comics, as the Black Cat she embraces the liberated self her persona grants her. She's finally being able to do the things that her position as a rich socialite kept from her. Her stance is that Spider-Man can afford to think about what he wants and what makes him happy as much as his own responsibilities.

Frankly, it gets through to Peter. As time goes on, Spider-Man becomes more receptive to the idea that he should move on from MJ and be with Black Cat, a fellow crime fighter, on his level who can look after herself as much as him. This has been the problem Spider-Man has faced for a while, being able to protect the people he cares about despite his powers seemingly always getting in the way. In the same vein, Felicia's newfound abilities enable her to be Spidey's equal. Allowing her the opportunity to see him as a person and not just the superhero who saves her. This gives her the ability to challenge, as well as compliment him, as pointed out.

Their dynamic frankly rings more true and honest as a relationship. Even MJ never pushed Peter in the same way Black Cat pushes Spidey to be better. That's not to say MJ was a bad girlfriend, but on the show... she frankly resembled the comics version of Gwen Stacey personality wise. Black Cat may have been in love with Spider-Man, but that never stopped her from telling him off when he got something wrong. She had her own opinions and views on how this relationship worked and despite clashing with Spidey, they always seemed to be getting closer and more intimate every time she crossed his path.

That is until the goddamn Vampire comes back and ruins it all, because Felicia still has feelings for Morbius, I guess. In fact, he comes back so soon and suddenly, just as Peter is thinking of committing to Black Cat as Spider-Man, that it again feels like a mandate from on high. They're getting too close to each other, we can't have that, break them up by making Morbius a thing again. And quite frankly it feels forced because the only thing that seemingly prevents Spidey and Cat from sealing the deal is that neither of them have guessed at who the other is.

This is despite the fact that the Black Cat is obviously Felicia, given her very close relationship with Felicia's father that she doesn't even try to hide at all during her introductory episode. But Spidey has been consistently dense when it comes to secret identities, he couldn't even figure out Matt Murdock and Daredevil were the same person under similar circumstances. Using excuses THAT HE HIMSELF USES to cover his ass as Spider-Man. For being so smart, Peter is incredibly slow on the uptake when it comes to guessing Black Cat's identity despite how damn obvious it is. Not that Felicia is honestly much better, as both before and after this there are a number of clues to Spidey's true identity. Like... she kissed Peter AS Peter, she should know that mouth!

But the fact is, and this is where the forced editorial mandate thing comes in, that if they ever found out who the other was... that would be the end for any possible Peter and MJ relationship at this point. Felicia would finally realize why Peter seemed to never be around when she was in trouble, it's because he was Spider-Man. And given that Felicia's reasoning for being in love with Spider-Man is, again, the fact she feels he's always been there for her, she'd realize her most long standing intimate REAL relationship was with Peter all along! Peter in turn would realize that Felicia, the girl he first had a crush on, the one he was most conflicted about getting with before MJ vanished, a person he still has strong feelings for, is also the person who taught him to love again after MJ vanished. A friend he cares about who is now on his level and has also been there for him! There would be no way they couldn't get together at that point, or at the very least it would be very hard for Peter to decide between her and MJ from then on.

But no, the adventure with the returned Morbius leads to Felicia deciding to go with the creep Mutant Vampire and Blade to hunt other vampires and leave Spider-Man behind, just as he was about to be with her. Of course, Peter doesn't put two and two together that Cat is leaving with Morbius because as established he's an idiot when it comes to this stuff. If he was smarter, he'd have figured it out right now and probably revealed himself to her, and that would create a conflict and probably make her question this frankly boneheaded and nonsensical decision. So no, Felicia and Peter never find out each other's secret identities and she goes off with Morbius leaving Peter alone for no really good reason other than this felt like the fastest way to break them up so MJ could slide back in.

And MJ does slide back in, not long after this episode in fact and Spider-Man quickly fast tracks to proposing to her, revealing his secret identity, the works. However, Felicia isn't out of his life as MJ still keeps getting into trouble, constantly. At the wedding, Black Cat returns to make sure Peter's big day doesn't get ruined, because she does care about Peter even if she isn't with him. She does this again when MJ is seemingly kidnapped, first comforting Peter as Felicia reassuring him during a moment of hopelessness and then becoming Black Cat again to track down MJ for Peter.

And she admits aloud that she's doing this because she doesn't think she made the right call to follow Morbius and Blade, she still has feelings for Spidey, even though he's loyal and committed to MJ. Again, Felicia does not put two and two together given how gung-ho Spidey is for finding MJ. This also marks the only time MJ and the Black Cat meet, it's very quick, Peter has to answer a few obvious questions. After all that, Felicia decides to head back to Transylvania and once again Peter doesn't put two and two together that Felicia and Black Cat are back in town right at the same time. Because he's stupid like that.

What's important to note is that Felicia will drop everything for Peter, which suggests to me, on some subconscious level, she knows who Spider-Man is. And the fact she's still playing mental support coach to Peter, even outside of their secret identities, speaks volumes for their bond and connection. Even outside of the Black Cat persona and without directly knowing it, Felicia is there for Spider-Man when he needs her, just as much as he was for her.

But of course, all of this is for naught concerning Mary Jane's fate. Because... this is not Mary Jane. This hasn't been Mary Jane since she returned at the end of last season and conclusion of "Partners in Danger." Because we've been doing a random ass Clone Saga deal this whole time! This MJ, the one Peter married, shared his secrets with, probably most likely banged... wasn't his MJ. She was a clone created by Miles Warren who can use frickin water powers like Hydro Man because Hydro Man is an asshole ex who is obsessed with MJ and wanted his own version of her. But she wandered off, blah blah blah, point is her clone stability is breaking down and she's gonna evaporate. Cue one of the most gut wrenching screams in animation history.

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So yeah, Peter never got the real Mary Jane back, only to be set up for heartache all over again. One could argue he probably loved this Mary Jane more. Sure he thought she was the original, but everything he experienced with her were steps he was unwilling to take with the real one. Similar to how Felicia has been feeling conflicted, one has to imagine Peter is even more so at this point on several other levels. Not that he has much time to mourn though. Madame Web has returned after a long absence from the series and she has war for him to fight, a Secret War.

In a very loose adaptation of the original Marvel Comics Event, Spider-Man is tasked by the Beyonder to lead a team of superheroes to liberate a planet that has fallen to villains he's plucked from Earth. This becomes a bit of a crossover between pretty much every Fox Entertainment Marvel Cartoon running at the time. From X-Men to Iron Man to the Fantastic Four, not Hulk though, Hulk rights are always a problem. But even after he's picked all the heroes he can afford to recruit, like any Gamer he can't resist modding shit to give him more stuff. And of all the heroes and allies he could pick to increase his ranks... he chooses the Black Cat.

It's a fairly odd choice honestly. Spidey has worked with a lot of heroes, maybe not as extensively as the Black Cat, but he's fought beside Doctor Strange, he knows other X-Men who are on Storm's level or at least just as capable. But he picks Black Cat. He picks her despite knowing that Madame Web knows the Real Mary Jane's location and promises it as a reward if he helps her. He picks Black Cat, despite knowing she is currently with Morbius and Blade. Makes one wonder... why?

Felicia isn't happy with this herself, because she just got pulled away in the middle of a vampire slaying fight. Don't worry, they're fine. It's Blade he'll manage without her.

...

What? Oh Morbius, yeah I guess he'll survive too just by being in close proximity to Blade. Have I mentioned I hate Morbius?

Anyway, the point is Black Cat is none too happy get pulled into Spidey's adventures against her will, like he can just do that on a whim. She's kinda right to be angry at him and she is for a good portion of the episode. When Spidey explains he picked her because he needs her support and they work good as a team, Felicia rightly says that he can't just rip her away from things because he needs to hold her hand. She'll be more than willing to do so on her own, he doesn't need to ask, he just shouldn't force her. It's a surprising role reversal, with Spider-Man being a bit more selfish than usual and Black Cat outwardly demanding to know when Spider-Man is gonna grow up. A question many comics fans wonder themselves to this day.

Spider-Man's ultimate ulterior motives are a bit more obvious though when he gets pretty jealous over Captain America and Black Cat bonding over her having the super soldier serum. And it doesn't help that Cap keeps kinda outshining him constantly when he saves Felicia a few times. But to be fair, Steve Rogers does that with everyone.

After the mission that topples the Red Skull ends, Spidey does apologize for taking Felicia against her will into this war. But she's no longer angry. Taking part in a mission bigger than even vampire slaying is important, a big deal, and if there is one thing Felicia has wanted its to not be left out of a fight for something bigger than herself. Plus, she get's to do it beside the greatest hero of all time. Spidey thinks she means Cap, but she corrects him, she's talking about the Web Head. Despite not being as perfect as Captain America, Spider-Man did prove himself out there as a leader to her and she admits she wouldn't want to miss this action with him for anything. Despite not wanting to be here initially, Felicia ultimately can't get over the fact Spider-Man wanted HER here with him. And given their last meeting had him coldly rejecting her advances, it says to Felicia that Spidey still feels for her and she clearly does too. Black Cat then kisses Spider-Man... and it's the last kiss he'll ever receive in the series. That's right, Peter's first and last kisses on this show come from Felicia. How do you not expect anyone to read into that?

No matter what lame line Morbius tries to give at the end of the episode, Felicia's heart doesn't really belong to him. It is very evident, crystal clear, painfully obvious, to anyone paying attention, that Felicia and Peter, on this series at the very least, were specially connected. Maybe not at first, but Felicia became someone who could match Spider-Man, physically and mentally, in many ways. And it's undeniable that, regardless of anything else, Peter held feelings for both Felicia and her Super Thief persona. Their banter was perfect, their partnership was top notch, the chemistry was amazing. The only thing keeping them apart was a story writing mandate from on high that they could not be endgame. Even though the writers took every chance they could nab to put them together. To shove Felicia back into Peter's life, even after she went off Slaying it up with Morbius. When I rewatched the series, it became painfully obvious who the writers seemed to prefer Peter with. None of this is to knock MJ as a character, on this show or in the comics, but it's hard for me to buy that there wasn't some kind of bias towards Felicia given everything that happens in this show.

Or maybe they just wanted an excuse to keep bringing Jennifer Hale back, I don't know! But I still choose to think that someone on that writing staff wanted a different endgame. It's been known to happen, creative teams aren't immune to shipping. Avatar the Last Airbender apparently had an ongoing tug of war between the executive producers and some of the writers over whether Katara would pick Zuko or Aang. It honestly feels like something similar happened here and as a result it comes across as the best evidence in my mind that this relationship could work. And the insane reality that less than a decade after Spider-Man TAS concluded, a show that did everything to ensure Spider-Man never got with the Black Cat because Peter/MJ were too iconic to not happen... One More Day drops and Peter has barely been with MJ for more than a single run out of several writers since. Said single writer being Nick Spencer, the Hydra Cap guy! Possibly in an effort to redeem himself from being the Hydra Cap Guy.

But I digress, as one can plainly see concerning this short retrospective of the series above, the 90s Cartoon has been over for a long time. Next year, it will be thirty years old. I can point out how it could've worked in that show, but that does nothing to prove Felicia and Peter ever have a chance now. All it shows is that I have a nostalgic attachment to this pairing because of an animated series. One with a highly different set of canonical circumstances between Spidey and the Black Cat that were crafted uniquely for this show alone. Circumstances that are worlds apart from the comics.

And that's because, as loathe as I am to admit it, Peter and Felicia's relationship has always had roadblocks in every piece of media involving them before and since. And I would be remiss if I didn't address any of those before I can start proving its viability now. If I don't I'll just have to do it later anyway. We'll look at how SpiderCat appears in other works as we go through this, but we need to head back to comic book land if we're really going to lay down what's actually keeping these two apart, and it's not the very weak contrivances preventing them from figuring out the obvious like in the 90s cartoon. No, it goes deeper than that. As you can see here.

90s Felicia wanted Spidey to unmask for her, but Comics!Felicia has had a hang up about that for a long while. This is the crux, the problem, with their relationship. The thing that always comes up when SpiderCat shippers argue for it. Comics!Black Cat loves Spider-Man... not Peter Parker. And mixing the two is too much for her to bare. This is what put strain on their relationship, Felicia didn't want her fantasy ruined by knowing the man behind the mask. Peter being an ordinary guy shatters her illusions about his prowess and ability. The phrase "Anyone can wear the mask" comes to mind and as long as Peter wears it for the Black Cat that is true. Take it off and Peter's normality leaks into things.

As a result, the main problem is Felicia can't love a man like Peter, who has a normal life outside of his superheroing. Felicia doesn't want normal, she likes what she is, who she is, doesn't want to go back to it. She wants to be the Black Cat because as the Cat she can do and get whatever she wants. Peter is, again, weighed down by responsibilities. While Felicia, once again, desires her independence from everything, including responsibility. Felicia would rather Spider-Man give up being Peter and just be the hero who swept her off her feet full time. To forever chase her across the rooftops and do what they want whenever they want. She's fine if that means fighting bad guys... so long as they're not tied down to normality. But Peter can't do that, he can never do that, not as long as he has ties to his life as Peter. And that's probably why Wells is considering severing a pretty big tie to that in order to make sure SpiderCat can't be reversed so easily. Can't really blame him for that though, given how comics are in constant flux. (Remember This)

This sort of issue is constantly reinforced. In the Spider-Man 2 video game, based off the Sam Raimi sequel, The "Spidey's loss of his powers" sub-plot is replaced by Black Cat trying to seduce him away into forever crime-fighting as his relationship with Mary Jane becomes strained due to her upcoming marriage to Jonah Jameson's son. Their dynamic matches the comics pretty well... and that means Spidey eventually breaks it off with her, saying he can't abandon his real life to forever play superhero with her. He needs a balance and that means he can't see her anymore. She leaves amicably, but it's sad to see happen.

In the Spider-Man: Web of Shadows game, Black Cat is revealed to still have feelings for Spider-Man and wants to be back together with him. This is pretty bad timing given the symbiote invasion going on. As the game is using the then popular trend of multiple choice endings there is one where you can have Black Cat be with Spider-Man at the end. It requires you basically healing her after a fight with your black suit, turning her into a Venomized version of herself. You can still pick the good ending after this where you defeat the Symbiotes, but all you know for sure is that MJ and him are on quits. You only see Felicia again if you pick the bad ending where Spider-Man breaks bad fully and decides to lead a symbiote army with Felicia by his side. Further emphasizing the idea that Peter can't pick being with Felicia without abandoning everything that makes him who he is.

There's also Spectacular Spider-Man, the other beloved Spider-Man animated series. Shorter-lived, but just as impactful. Where Spidey and Black Cat seem to hit it off during the start of Peter's whole symbiote storyline. Their banter is great, the chemistry fits, Felicia and Pete seem destined to be star-crossed opposite sides of the law lovers. However, when they meet up again Felicia is breaking her father out as she usually does... but the twist this time is Felicia's father is the one who shot Uncle Ben.

Naturally this completely wrecks any goodwill concerning Black Cat and Spidey's second meeting. As from here on out he's adamant Felicia's dad is not getting out. While it turns out Dad doesn't want to leave either and he decides to sacrifice his chance at freedom to stop a mass jailbreak of supervillains, that changes little. Spider-Man does not forgive Felicia's father and Felicia blames Spider-Man for infecting her dad with sentimentality. Even knowing he took an innocent life, all Felicia sees is her dad rotting away in jail. She declares she'll never forgive Spider-Man for this and rushes off in anger. The series ended shortly thereafter and this was never resolved. Greg Weisman, the show's creator, says if it had continued the relationship would've been "fraught." And once again this is the typical line concerning the fact Felicia's selfish desires run up against Spider-Man's heroic responsibility. And letting a criminal get away, especially one that killed his Uncle, is just something he can't do.

And I could go on, there are a ton of examples of this very problematic element of the relationship. It's the thing Marvel has consistently used to explain why Peter and Felicia aren't the right fit. Any romance would require either character to make sacrifices they are incapable of. Namely Felicia's independence and Peter's Responsibilities. Marvel itself decided to set this in stone to a degree with the usual question they ask... "What If?"

"What if... Spider-Man Married the Black Cat?" is the second part of a longer What If storyline answering what would happen if Peter and MJ did not get married. (HA! After OMD, one cannot help but laugh!) And as much as that cover paints wedded bliss... it's anything but. Felicia and Peter come to blows repeatedly, unable to reconcile their differences. Their goals are far too distant from each other overall and they just can't find common ground. By the end of the issue, Felicia lies dead, Spider-Man heart broken and the grim reality that this romance could never work is cemented in stone it seems. "What Ifs" aren't definitive statements about the only possible outcomes for the Marvel universe. But they are definitive statements from Marvel itself, a decree from on high that the current continuity, for all its faults, could be so much worse and we should be happy for what we have. And while the issue is loaded with nice panels that any SpiderCat fan would adore, the end result is still plain as day. Felicia and Peter are too oil and water to ever mix. And the end result would be the destruction of one or both.

How do you overcome the dreadful reality that your ship is declared doomed forever by the very company that in some sense set it in motion? Not just because Spider-Man can never be happy, but because the Black Cat is just too toxic a girlfriend to ever truly make him happy. Everyone argued that MJ and Peter's marriage was boring but they didn't want him to get with the next best option either because they think it's non-compatible, that they're just too different and of opposing thoughts to ever reach common ground.

And Marvel has tried to permanently set that in stone in canon once. To forever place SpiderCat as beyond possible, to sever their connection as decades long allies... and all because of an octopus in the brain.

The image above is not that of Peter Parker fighting the Black Cat. This is Doctor Otto Octavius, piloting Peter's body after jacking his mind. This is the Superior Spider-Man, and he does not care about Peter's past infatuations. He's here to prove he's the better Spider-Man and that means apprehending all criminals. In an otherwise re-affirming storyline that proves Peter Parker is the true Superior Spider-Man, Otto failing to live up to his lofty ambitious boasts, this scene... this one bloody scene, leads to the absolute low point period for all SpiderCat Fans. I call it the "Bitch Be Crazy" Era, an offensive title for a frankly offensively disgusting sub-plot in the Spider Run post-Superior.

Peter Parker informs all his Superhero buddies that Doc Ock had taken over his body for a long time, explaining his shitty behavior for the past year or so. Most everyone's response is "Oh, yeah, that's obvious in hindsight." Not Felicia.

The tables have turned, now Felicia has broke bad, but for real. And there is no way to describe what she becomes but extremely out of character. She doesn't accept Spider-Man's explanation, she doesn't even care. She is now obsessed with becoming the next Kingpin of Crime, a murderous, merciless mob boss who pulls the strings of supervillains, all in a bid to destroy Spider-Man and all he holds dear and it's absolutely, completely, stupidly, idiotically terrible. No matter how selfish Felicia can be, this is NOT her. Felicia has never shown any desire to be a crime boss, to be feared. Her desires have always been thrill seeking, shiny things and not being told what she can and can't do. She might be violent, but she is not a cold-blooded killer. She might be cynical, but she is not this petty. Every element of this terrible subplot makes no sense unless she's absolutely lost her mind or been replaced by a Skrull.

The only fun thing in this whole mess, was that Gwenpool's first in-universe story took place during this sub-plot and she crossed paths with her. And then did this.

I guess that justifies putting a Gwenpool tag below somewhere. Win for me!

Suffice to say, no one liked this change. Everyone hated it, even more than Superior Spider-Man. People came around on that, no one liked Felicia the Big Black Cat of Crime. Dan Slott could never justify it because it made no sense that Felicia would care this much about street cred because Spider-Man beat her up. As if there isn't a single crook in New York at this point who can claim Spider-Man hasn't knocked out one of their teeth. Others tried to explain it, to give it a more sensible face. There was an explanation in the Silk comic, but it didn't really stick as something that would drive her to this extreme. Regardless, it was a dark time for SpiderCat Shipping Fandom. And it took way longer than it should've to fix it all.

But it did get fixed and that brings me the counter to ALL of this stuff that stands in Peter and Felicia's way. And that is that no matter how much things stay the same, comics always inevitably change and so do the characters in them. We like to pretend that the way we see a lot of the characters in comics now has just always been them. But no, they're not. Batman used to carry a gun in his early days, Superman didn't always fly, Captain America, a WW2 Veteran, claimed he never killed anyone for a short time, Deadpool didn't always break the 4th Wall and Starlord used to be a lot more of a straight edged serious space hero and not a rock music lovin' dancin' fool of a rogue Han Solo. Tastes change, writers change, people change... and so has Felicia.

Felicia hasn't always been honest with Peter, she's tricked him into chasing her, played him to get away with a score, gotten superpowers from Kingpin in an effort to keep up with him which led to their first break up, she even dated Flash Thompson trying to make him jealous. But if one thing has been consistent, it's that Felicia can't help but cross back into Peter's life. And in the process, because she cares, even loves him, there are things she's had to accept, to admit to. And chief among them is Peter Parker is Spider-Man and Peter Parker's life is as if not more important to him than just being Spider-Man. She hasn't only loved Spider-Man for years at this point, for a long time. She loves both. and she is willing to accept both. If there is any problem, it's Peter accepting Felicia for who she is... which is a better person than even she gives herself credit for.

Spider-Man wouldn't be partnering up with Felicia so often if he didn't believe there was more to her than just a shallow thief. And the influence has affected Felicia, she's admitted as much. Maybe her shift to doing good was set off by a crush, but she owned that change and she kept pushing herself. She'll never have a strict moral compass, but she does know what the right choice is at the end of the day, what feels right. And when Spider-Man needs an ally, he can call on her as much as anyone. Spider-Man being in her life has only been a net positive for Felicia, Peter being with her has only been a net positive. And that brings us back to her time as a lame crime boss and how they fixed her. Because there's a better, deeper, actually meaningful reason for their schism besides Felicia's loss of street cred.

She forgot the man she loved and changed for.

Yep, we're factoring One More Day into this thing proper like. After an adventure with Venom and Spidey, dealing with some symbiote nonsense, Felicia is convinced to hash it out with the Wall Crawler. And she admits to him that she lost something, his face. When Spider-Man made the world forget who he was under the mask it affected Felicia too. All her memories, all the time spent with Peter post reveal, everything that she knew about the man behind the mask... it was either gone or in a fog. She can't remember all those times that Peter trusted her with who he was and it has been eating her up inside for years! And Spider-Man never thought about how that would affect her, a person he's loved, been intimate with, and at least now cares about. That was an important time in her life and it's just gone now. And it may be selfish to want all of it back and even demand it back... but she's right. Those memories were hers and Spidey took them away. And Spider-Man, being selfless as he is, can't just let that stand anymore.

Everyone says Felicia only loves Spider-Man, but that's not true. She may love the Spider... but she changed for the Man. She cherishes that time she had with that Man. And it's hard to believe that she doesn't love the Man as much as the Spider because, ultimately, they are the same person. That's the other difference between this and Bruce/Selina. Bruce Wayne is the mask for the boy who died in that alleyway, Batman is who he's been since that day. Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, it's why he can't leave either persona behind. And Felicia has long since accepted that, and that has never changed how she feels about him until she lost who he was beneath the mask. Now it's all back, the highs and lows of that tumultuous time in her life when she fell for a Spider and came to love the Man. It doesn't heal everything, but it repairs the bond that was broken so long ago and so unintentionally.

There is, however, another argument being floated around these days I have to address. That even if Felicia can accept the man beneath the mask, do either really NEED each other? I'd point to all the stuff above that shows how that's simply not true, but there's more to it than that. Love isn't always about what you need, it's just as much about what you want. And I'm not talking about a person or thing, not something material. What does Felicia want? What does Peter want?

Felicia wants to be more than what she is, always has been. She wants thrills, she wants to be her true self and I feel Spider-Man brings out those qualities more than any of her other boy or girlfriends, especially since he started her path to change and growth. She stops being selfish and reacts more selfless. His influence on her is undeniable and she knows as much as anyone. She'll never be a good girl, but she'll at least be a better one than she is without him in her life.

Peter wants to be at peace, to be happy with who he is, to not always feel burdened. Felicia has always been one of the ways he's released that burden, he's been happy with her. Sure he's been happy with others, but Felicia has met him on a level that none of them could, she's been able to be in the thick of it with him. She's been able to share the burden. She's been able to be an active participant. With her around, Peter's world as a superhero doesn't feel so lonely. And maybe, if Felicia could accept the man as much as it seems she has, so too could she accept Peter's regular life.

In Taylor Swift's song, Anti-Hero, she reflects on how exhausting for her it's been that she hasn't seemed to learn anything and keeps making the same mistakes over and over. And if you pay attention to the lyics enough, they start describing Felicia Hardy pretty well.

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

However, just as much of it can sorta apply to Spider-Man as well. His heroic selflessness is frankly a very long depressing slog of him being unable to forgive himself for letting down Uncle Ben, placing all the blame on his shoulders and then repeating that process whenever his great power can never live up to his great responsibility.

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving And life will lose all its meaning (For the last time)

When it comes to Spider-Man and the Black Cat, a lot of the things that make them unhappy are self-inflicted. Lewis Lovhaug of "Atop the Fourth Wall" Fame has argued that the problem with Spider-Man in a lot of modern stories is that he never learns from anything. He hasn't done enough to improve himself as Spider-Man or as Peter Parker, he just keeps feeling sorry for himself that one gets in the way of the other. And frankly, the same curse has affected Felicia. Because a lot of what has prevented her from being with Spider-Man has been herself. Ultimately both will, as the song says, always look towards the bright sun of what they think they want, but never in the mirror. They'll hurt themselves, never realizing that they're the source of their own dissatisfaction with how their lives are. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero, especially when its yourself.

Maybe Peter and Felicia don't need each other, but they do need someone to set them straight and get them to stop believing their own bullshit. To make them stare away from the sun and into the mirror. Because they are each exactly the kind of person who would do that for the other, in fact they've been doing it for as long as they've been together. Their bond is stronger than people give it credit for.

Early on in their relationship, Black Cat was badly injured and has to be rushed to a hospital. Helpless to really do anything, Peter could only stand by her bedside and hope she'd be okay again. For all his power, once more, he can't do anything but just stay with her. And actually, that's enough.

But come now, would Felicia ever do the same for Peter you ask? Well... during a recent story event, Spider-Man was badly injured and slips into a coma. But there was one person constantly by his side throughout it.

This isn't derogatory, Felicia is clearly lamenting the fact that someone so good who does everything so selflessly despite no thanks or praise, is so constantly placed into situations like this. It's unfair to her. It's why she's here now, like he was for her. And just like before...

It's Felicia who gets the first response out of him. Claim all you want that Felicia doesn't need Peter, that she's moved past him, that Peter and MJ are too perfect for each other, that the Black Cat can't ever settle down like Peter probably wants or that Peter can never really be there for Felicia in the way she wants. But I don't buy it. And stuff like this is why.

No matter how much bad luck she is, Spider-Man wants and in some ways needs the Black Cat is in his life. And no matter how much she can try and say she's over it, The Black Cat will always find a way to cross paths with her Spider.

In the recent PS4 Spider-Man game, Felicia came back after a stint of going straight to prepare for a major strike back against Hammerhead and the Maggia families. She coerces Spider-Man into another of her games where she steals $50 Million worth of stuff and forces him to chase her around the city to find it all. She leaves the loot behind though, because it was all trick to break into the police evidence lockup and snag her old gear. But she did leave Peter a cool new suit, a reference to the time when Felicia made a new black suit for Peter after giving up his symbiote. You know, so they match.

Felicia's little game comes to fruition when "The Heist" DLC comes out. Felicia strings Spidey along, pretending Hammerhead has her son, strongly implying its his. Ultimately this is revealed to have been a lie of course, another game. Because this, to Felicia, is basically the perfect date night. Spider-Man chases her, they team up, she gets what she wants and runs off into the night. In this case the entire wealth of the Maggia after double crossing Hammerhead. This gets a target on her back instantly. Spider calls her to warn her, leaving Felicia more than a little surprised.

Felicia: I just conned you and here you are trying to save me. How can you be so damn nice all the time?

Spidey: It's not about being nice, it's about doing the right thing! You have so many talents, I wish you'd use them to help someone other than yourself.

Felicia: Yeah well, you should know by now that's not how I roll.

Spidey: People can change, Felicia.

Felicia: Love you, Spider. I'll miss you.

Felicia's penthouse explodes and she appears to die. But eagle eyed players would notice the puff smoke just before the bomb goes off. The Black Cat fakes her death more than Doctor Doom uses robots. Felicia got away, scot-free, with all the money she could ever need or want. She conned Spider-Man, Hammerhead and everyone. She won hands down and can do whatever she wants from now on. No one will be looking for her. Hammerhead's plans to utilize weapons of war to take over the city isn't her problem.

And yet...

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Felicia comes back to help Spider-Man, knowing it will basically put her on the radar again given everything she's stolen. She doesn't stay, but she saves him and gives him the means to take Hammerhead down. No matter what anyone thinks of Felicia, especially herself, she is not nearly as incapable of being selfless as one thinks. And this is true of most of her incarnations. Perhaps because the Black Cat will do anything to get what she wants, even if it means turning over a new leaf for her Spider. It's how this all started after all. Selfish Selflessness, it's probably the best middle ground Peter can hope for. But at least it means he can count on her, to be selfish. And that's why she'll always be there for him. Felicia doesn't like to lose the things she has.

I think it also says a lot that many players felt that Peter and Felicia's chemistry was loads more interesting and compelling than his relationship with the estranged version of MJ Spidey has to deal with. And frankly, Felicia being in those stealth sequences would've made a million times more sense. There are some who have even speculated, with no real proof mind you, that Felicia was lying about lying about having a son. That she DOES have one, he just wasn't in danger. But of course, that's unlikely. For the same reason Peter remains hung up on Mary Jane in this game despite the fact most players seem apathetic to them getting back together. Spider-Man being a father out of wedlock is something that Marvel is not really prepared to sign off on. Just as much as they resist him being with someone other than MJ in other media, despite not wanting him to be with her in the comics.

It all seems so arbitrary to me, that they just can't be together because of the iconography of Peter and MJ. Or because she can't love the man the Spider is, which isn't true. Or Spider-Man can't change her or trust her, which also isn't true. If there has ever been a more consistent, sustainable, supportive and bonded character to Peter Parker it has been Felicia Hardy. Romantically or platonically, Felicia has dropped things to be there for Peter. And the idea that they are toxic for each other has never rung true. People can change, and this romance proves it. They just need to be given the chance to do so, and have the right person along for the ride. And the forced separation feels more arbitrary when you take into consideration, that Marvel has kept MJ and Peter apart for over a decades worth of comics and has never bit the bullet on simply just letting Felicia and Peter be together until now.

Some have claimed the new romance is out of the blue, that Spencer was setting things up to undo OMD, and that Wells just pulled this off out of nowhere. Well... no. Because those scenes where Felicia brought Peter out of his coma, the re-unmasking, the re-entry into his life through a number of adventures... Spencer either wrote those himself or they were written in conjunction with his run. People have confirmation bias, I'm no different, I don't claim to be. However, everyone has wanted OMD to be undone since the storyline first concluded. Marvel has played with fans' heartstrings that it will do so and it has prevented Peter from moving on because if he's not in a committed sustainable relationship, there's always hope that Mephisto's deal will be undone! And it has not helped anyone in the slightest to keep buying that horse crap.

The fact is I'm honestly sick of this "will they won't they" garbage from Marvel on undoing One More Day and I think more people should be by this point. Let me make this perfectly clear, even if they undo the deal... they're not getting remarried. Marvel simply is not interested in going down that road for Spider-Man again. Even with the new Spider-Verse movie showing Peter B. with a kid. Because the problem has never been they won't let Peter be married to MJ. The problem is they won't let Peter grow. The problem is they won't let him move on and change. They stick him in a misery spin cycle and just never let him out.

Why not just end the charade? Let Peter grow. Let Felicia grow. They both already want to. They both already desire to. And they both have already done so for the other. Felicia has been there to challenge and push him, while also protecting and supporting him. And Peter has undeniably changed Felicia as a person. She may never have the same moral compass, but she's no longer as lost as she once was. Her selfish cynicism is kept in check when it comes to Peter. And his selfless self-destruction is held back thanks to Felicia. Why deny them the chance to both be truly happy? Especially when they make each other better people. Why deny chemistry that is so perfectly balanced in its contradiction?

I don't begrudge people for preferring Mary Jane being with Spider-Man. I'm more or less at peace with the reality that some pairings are just thought of as the default and nothing is really gonna change that. I prefer Rogue with Deadpool, that doesn't change the fact she'll always be with Gambit. What I wanted to stress with this isn't so much an argument to ship it so much as the ultimate reason I simply can't let these two go.

For me, SpiderCat speaks on some primal level, more than wish fulfillment, but the idea of growth. That love can hold you up in your worst moments, or change you for the better. That it can make you look in the mirror and ask, who do you want to be? What do you want? What is worth changing for? Felicia found her answer, a nerdy, selfless, eternally tormented wall-crawler, who should know better than to go chasing her trying to save her from herself... but does it anyway. How could she not return the favor and be there for him? It's hard to say whether he caught her in his web, or if she just loves walking across his path. What is certain is they are bonded to each other, in one way or another. And that's the only thing about either character that I don't think can ever truly change.

Well this was a long one, and probably a lot more introspective and personally relatable than I thought. I think now have a better understanding of what has always drawn me to these two. And also now think I have discovered the song that describes them both so... thanks Taylor Swift! Whatever future this rekindled romance holds in the comics, we'll see how it shakes out. But I can enjoy the ride even if some of it has been rocky. Not the first time I've had to deal with that.

If you're still here, congrats, you've made it to the end. And I hope I didn't completely bore you all with this fairly overly comprehensive look at a pairing spanning various mediums and continuities. But I like to be thorough. So I hope you can appreciate the amount of work I put into this whole thing for you all. If I ever do this again I can only hope it won't be so... all encompassing. But I make no promises.

One thing I know though, I'm probably gonna be riding and dying these two forever. The Cat and her Spider, the Self and Selfless. Beautiful in the mess they are apart and the whole they are together.

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seth-shitposts · 1 year ago

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So everything I want to work on atm are all multichap fics or long fics and they're all so fun. I'll take breaks on em to so one shots here and there, I still have prompts saved that were given to us that we look forward to completing as well.

But I do wanna share some of the long au's and multi chaps real quick because I so very much thrive off of interaction & reaction & such. So here:

Obviously, the current WIPs that are in the front line are Conversationalist (set to have 8 chapters plus a bonus) & Jealousy, Ft. Lando (🔞) (set to have a total of 5 ish chapters).

And we haven't forgotten about Force User Zeb, we just haven't had the opportunity to pick it back up. We do have a lot planned for it and look forward to taking it out of its hiatus, we just do not know when that'll be.

There's the defectors au with Ezra and Kallus.

For that one, we plan on writing quite a bit of things for the years that Kallus is fostering Ezra and is growing into a friendship with the Bridgers as they slowly help him see the empire for what it is. There's a lot of complex things that'll go on there.

And I also look forward to working how that changes things during the canon events, how different things will be. But you can bet your ass that the parallels will be plentiful.

There's also The Renascence of 264, which will be a multi chap follow up on the courier droid that had temporarily helped the ghost crew.

Essentially, (fulcrum) Kallus finds the droid and reboots him, recognizing him as the courier droid that had helped the ghost crew. Kallus had intended on simply freeing the droid, smuggling him off the outpost he had been discarded our from and to a different planet, maybe giving him the chance to meet the rebels again or find a place he can be happy in. He's surprised when the droid insists on staying with him.

And, so there's a common (ish) headcanon of how zeb has poor facial recognition. Actually horrid. I enjoy the headcanon, but also. In the rebels comics, Zeb very quickly recognized 264 as the droid they had nabbed and that had helped them. So I find humor in the possibility that Zeb possibly had poor facial recognition when it comes to non-droids, but is able to recognize every droid he has ever met, even if it was only once.

And yes, 264 is going to immediately get on Kallus’s case on asking the handsome rebel out. (264 is enamored by both Kallus and Zeb for being some of the first ones to praise him in a long time. He immediately gets very protective over the both of them. But at the same time is ready to send them out the airlock if they keep doing a silly little dance around their feelings.)

And then, there's the prompt by @canonkalluzeb I utterly ADORE it so much and I already have like 7 pages of notes complied. I added to it just today. I am so excited about working on it.

I'll link the post, but it's Kallus oversees a prisoner transfer and he’s shocked and disgusted to find that the dangerous criminal is a toddler, a 3y/o lasat child.

He steals her and sets out to find Zeb, knowing that he probably knows of a safe place for misplaced lasat, but it's several months before he finds them.

Last, but not least,

The Aphelion Waltz

(Not everything that is stated in the linked post is set in stone, much of it is still up to change)

My baby. I'm putting so much work into this fic. I shake the bars of my enclosure daily because of this fic. It's going to be a while before we are able to start posting the story, and its going to be a long one with so much moving plot. There's main plot line, sub plots, dozens of characters, slow burn, murder mystery, politics, romance. And this one is going to be explicit, but we might make a lighter version after we completed the main story. But this fic is going to have so many heavy contents. It's probably going to be one of our most complex endeavors, but I very much look forward to it.

---

I'm down for answering any questions about any of the fics at any point in time.

#star wars rebels #swr #alexsandr kallus #kalluzeb #garazeb orrelios #star wars #zeb orrelios #ezra bridger

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aceofstars16 · 4 months ago

Note

1-3, 5-7, and 27-30 for the Star Wars Rebels ask, please?

Well I forgot to answer this but I saw it now and my brain isn't giving me the writing vibes (even though I want to write) so I will finally attempt to answer! xD

Also apparently I can't just put 1. without it making it a list so...uh...that's annoying...

One: What is your absolute favorite episode of the show?

Oh man....it's been so long hnnng, I might go with Flight of the Defender...that's the one where Sabine and Ezra steal that ship in S4 right? Though a lot of season 1 makes me happy so...honestly a lot of those could fit too...there are too many good episodes xD

Two: Which episode did you not like at first, but grew on you after one or more rewatches?

I cannot remember the name, but the Purgil one, I didn't love it but then my sister just...it's the only episode she remembers and she just says "the space whales one!" and I just...really like it now xD

Three: How do you feel about the Ahsoka show being live-action Rebels season 5?

Ha....haha...ha...I don't really like it...first, it should've been animated and second I...I think the Sabine being force sensitive is the stupidest idea ever I'm sorry but not actually sorry.

Five: If you could change one (non-death-related) plot point in the show, what would you change?

*eye twitches in still annoyed by what they did to Kanan* but aside from that...make Kanera less...weird in the last season, just...have them be secretly married this whole time, because that just...makes more sense than them being awkward

Six: What are your two favorite ships from the show (canon or not)?

HAHAHAHA I'll just...

And Kanera side from the weirdness of S4, but yeah...Sabezra ALL the way, like...if you knew me back in the day...I wrote SO MUCH of them lol

Seven: Who is one character you feel isn't appreciate enough by the fandom?

Uhhhh...bro I actually don't know lol I mean I like Jai so....maybe him? Or Zare cause he had that book series that was actually pretty interesting

Twenty Seven: Which plot point do you wish the show had expanded on?

It's been a while but...probably the loth wolves and...all that, like S4 had so much that was just like "what?" and then we never saw it again

Twenty Eight: Favorite recurring character?

Hahaha....I'm going Hondo cause I love that space pirate xD

Twenty NIne: Favorite piece of music from the show?

Hold on, I gotta find it..."Journey Into the Star Cluster", it's not even my fave episode but like...one day I had it on and it was raining and I literally felt like I was in a Nancy Drew game it was just, amazing

Thirty: Most under-rated episode?

The way I want to say the Purgil episode again lol...but maybe the third episode? When Ezra and Zeb steal the tie fighter? I don't know that one is just fun and I love how the tie comes in at the end of the season again haha

#enjoy....it was fun to take that trip down memory lane #the amount of swr that is still in the back of my mind surprised me ngl #but it was my thing for...like a few years so xD #a message from fulcrum #lol like even my ask tag is from it pfft #swr

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abelunwilling · 2 years ago

Note

For the ask game. I'm intrigued by these two:

“thicker than water” [Kallus/Zeb SW:Rebels]

“lucky” [Echo/Rex/Fives SW]

wip game thingy!

Thank yooou! \o/ Let me think...

thicker than water

I don't remember where exactly the original idea for this came from but the basic idea concerned Kallus post-war getting a message from his family, who are being tried for their role in the Empire. This would've caused a rift in the present as he's trying to start his new life on Lira San with Zeb. I was really enjoying writing a lot of the domestic stuff with Kallus learning to speak Lasat, worldbuilding for Lira San itself... but weirdly the family stuff got a bit too real for me so I decided to put it on hold until I felt more ready to articulate it. I'll probably pick it back up at some stage! I was really happy with what I had so far. :) (Also, I called Kallus' mom "Karyn" because I thought it would be funny for him to be literally descended from a space-Karen... so there's that. xD)

lucky

Basically, Rex/Fives is a thing and Echo assumes Fives is making it up because Rex is obviously out of his league; Fives plays on Echo's own lil thing for Rex and... stuff happens. I know I'll probably never finish this one now because while I used to not mind it, Echo/Fives is just... really not fun for me any more. :( No shade or anything, I just know I can't pull it off now. I kept it in my drafts just in case the mood ever strikes again though!

I put a little excerpt from "thicker than water" under the cut, wheeee~~ I really enjoy writing these two and their dynamic!

thicker than water

“Zeb,” Kallus laughed lightly. “I wanted to come here–it’s not like you forced me. I don’t want you to have to leave just to meet my parents.”

Zeb scoffed. “I’ve gotta meet them at some point, right?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Why?”

Zeb’s ears splayed out, his facial fur bristling slightly in embarrassment, and he was quiet for long enough that Kallus almost thought he was going to drop it.

“I dunno, they’re your family. So I guess... they’re part of you?” He turned his face a little. “Wish you could meet mine.”

Without thinking, Kallus reached out for his hand. His fingers looked laughably small, curled over Zeb’s. “Oh… I’m so sorry.”

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” Zeb smiled sadly as he looked back at him, nudging Kallus with his shoulder. “I do, though. They’d like you.”

“Me,” Kallus scoffed.

“Yeah, you.” Zeb put his other hand over Kallus’. He paused, then: “I like you.”

Kallus felt a flush starting to creep up the back of his neck, and tilted his chin up proudly to compensate. “Obviously.”

“Hey.” Zeb’s voice hardened a little. “’m serious.”

By now, that flush had reached Kallus’ ears and was threatening to engulf his entire face. “I–I know that.”

“Right.” Clearing his throat, Zeb withdrew his hands clumsily. “Karabast, I didn’t mean–”

“Ah, wait–” Kallus grabbed for his hand to draw it back, swallowing hard to be rid of the lump in his throat. “Don’t be sorry. There’s really no need.”

“I just don’t wanna make this weird,” Zeb said, insistently. “I–I probably misread–”

“No,” said Kallus, his grip on Zeb’s hand intensifying. “I mean–if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, then–you didn’t exactly…”

They looked at each other helplessly as he trailed off.

“…What are you saying?”

Zeb paused, then squeezed his hand back with a wry smile. “I’m saying how the hell have we still not had this talk?”

Feeling a heavy burden lift off his chest, Kallus laughed, and leaned in so they were pressed shoulder to shoulder, his head tucking against Zeb’s neck. Zeb pushed his weight into him firmer, cheek resting on top of his head.

“Heh. We’re useless.”

“Very,” Kallus said, quietly. “I betray a Galactic Empire and move halfway across the galaxy for you, and yet I can’t tell you–”

And for a moment, he still couldn’t, even though the feeling screamed from within his ribcage. Zeb’s worried expression returned and he pulled away a little.

“…That I might… have feelings for you,” Kallus finished, determinedly. Zeb’s eyes widened, his ears perking up. “And I think I have for a long time, but I didn’t know how to–”

In the next moment, he was yanked against Zeb’s chest with one firm arm, and kissed so hard and so long that he thought that it might be some time before he could entertain the thought of breathing again. That seemed less important, anyway–was his most lucid thought, before Zeb flopped onto his back, taking Kallus with him in a warm tangle of limbs. A blunt fang snagged clumsily at his lip as he eventually pulled back, flushed.

“You… I… oh.” Kallus cleared his throat, only just registering that he was lying on top of Zeb’s chest, his arms flung haphazardly around his neck. He did not, however, attempt to move.

“Yeah. Oh.” Zeb averted his eyes. “Well… that’s out there, then.”

After another kiss, this one languid and tender, Kallus simply said, “I think we might have been doing things a little out of order.”

Zeb snickered, his chest bouncing slightly where Kallus lay against it. “What, because we already have a joint bank account?”

“I told you, it’s practical, and safer in emergencies,” Kallus retorted, before immediately realising his point. “Maybe because we already have a joint bank account.”

“You are so weird.” Laughing, Zeb pulled him into another hug. “You don’t know how long I–”

Kallus kissed him again, firmly. “Oh, I think I do.”

Zeb’s hand slid up the nape of his neck, keeping their faces close. It seemed that now they’d started, it was more difficult not to kiss each other; Zeb’s words were coming between increasingly firmer, warmer kisses. “Sure, it’s–not the–best–timing, but...”

That, for once, didn’t matter to Kallus–in fact, he had almost forgotten why it might have been considered bad timing at all until Zeb began to roll them over, causing his hip to bump their all-but-forgotten suitcase.

“Ah...” Very reluctantly, he disentangled himself from Zeb and dusted himself off. A few puffs of short, purple fur wafted into the air; Zeb’s winter coat was still shedding. “We’ll be late if we don’t get going.”

Zeb sat up with a groan, rubbing his head dizzily. “Ugghh. Transport doesn’t leave for two hours.”

Kallus felt it would take much longer than an hour for the heat to leave his body, but he forced himself to be responsible and pointedly took the handle of the suitcase. “You’re not accounting for security–and did you pack your comb?”

“Ye–oh, wait, nah. Thanks for reminding me.” Smiling, Zeb put his arm around his shoulders, hugging him into his side again with a little hum in his throat that was almost a purr. “Such a hardass.”

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breedaboyd · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for Writers

I was told by my friend, @the-broken-quill, to do this meme. So here it is. There's a lot to get through so let's get going. And I'll stick it under a cut so people can skip past if they want.

But first, have an aesthetic Donnie gif. Courtesy of me.

How many works do you have on AO3?

As of today, I have 220. Phew.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Oh, God, I'm scared to look... 1,515,823 words. Yikes. I wonder how many of those are 'cock'.

3. What fandoms do your write for?

Hmm... Kind of anything and everything. If you look on my fandom list, there are 187. But, at the moment, I'm mainly writing for the Sandman, Indiana Jones and other fandoms that involve Boyd Holbrook.

4. What're your top 5 fics by kudos?

Those would be: 'Keeping Up with the Madrigals' ✑ 1,606. 'Dead by Moonlight' ✑ 408. 'Various Spiderman One-Shots' ✑ 358. 'Finish Him!!' ✑ 321. 'Mirror, Mirror' ✑ 314.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but sometimes if they're just like 'nice', there's only so many times you can respond to it. 😅😅 I try my best to though. Had a couple of people wanting to collab/commission me and on both counts they've been very weird and predatory (not you, ZEBS) so like stay safe out there, guys.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a purveyor of smut, see, not angst but...I do like a twist ending. 'Start Fresh. Begin Again.' has angst all the way throughout but a more positive ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I try to end on a high-note so most smut fics have happy endings. Maybe 'Second Chances'? It's not a smut fic, it's just all about recovery and a little bit of falling for one another. It's very, very fluffy because Pinky deserves it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes. I've had to leave a couple fanbases because of this. *Cough, cough* Walten Files.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oomph. Pick your poison, bud. We got vanilla stuff, oral, anal, breeding kink, toy stuff, public stuff, lactation, face-fucking, magic stuff, anatomically impossible stuff... The list literally goes on forever.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really a big crossover person because I feel like that would require a lot of world building but ZEBS and I have done a Mortal Kombat/Evil Dead crossover RP.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Why would you?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe so but I can't remember which one...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yepski! My friend, ZEBS, and I have written quite a bit together. I've also done a little bit with an old friend, Brana, but the bulk of it is me and ZEBS.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

They're all OCs but Corinthian/Alistair, Klaber/Wolf and Cap/Theo. I've put so much time into developing them. I love them so much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There are waaaay too many WIPs that get started and then get left behind. Go through my works and drink every time you see a work where I was too optimistic with the chapter count. You will die.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, of course. Specifically, dirty talk?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

World-building and scene-setting. I'm really impatient and enjoy getting right down to business.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Obviously, I'm in favour. Wolff speaks in German and Hungarian and I frequently have to put translations in the end notes. I think it adds a little depth of character if it makes sense for said character but, if you're just doing it for the fuck of it, I feel like it takes you out of the scene.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

That would be Dorian Grey, particularly the 2009 film.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Maybe not my favourite and maybe not one, single fic because it's all different fics smushed into one but I'm really proud of myself for Boydtober this year (I'm currently putting it out day by day). I've tried to complete Kinktober 4 different times and every time I've given up and gotten down about it. This year! I've prepared and completed it and it's 120k+! I'm so excited to share it with everyone!

Whew! That was a lot. Now I'm supposed to tag a bunch of people but, honestly, I don't know that many. I'll tag @the-broken-quill but then, if you see this and you wanna do it, do it.

I'm gonna peace out with my favourite gif of my favourite cowboy.

Lookit that smile! 😘😘

#misc: not boyd

0 notes

laurfilijames · 2 years ago

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UGH this poor girl. My heart bleeds for her, sitting and stewing over all the "what if's" of the situation, and feeling she had to gussy herself up so he wouldn't make comments about her appearance.

Her goddess spirit woke up!! So sweet. (also dead curious what goddess she is, or just wanting to know more about her in general!)

I love love love how you write the interactions between Anders and Michele SO MUCH. It's so fluent and natural.

hahahaha oh Michele is just NOT having any of Axl's friends and I am here for it.

Anders watched you silently, telling himself that Michele didn’t know what she was talking about; about whether or not you were into him, and about whether or not he could satisfy you.

I could if I wanted to, he thought defensively.

MY HEARTTTTTTT. That's right you could Anders!!!

God I love Ingrid so much. I wish I had her available when I'm feeling low.

NOOOO. I hate that she was drugged. What an awful thing to happen, but thank gods nothing worse did and Anders stepped in to save the day.

Zeb tho hahaha “Your brother did that Bragi thing on me again.” Perfect.

Oh the whole bed scene!!! It was so sweet. What a confusing situation for him though.

I really loved this chapter bb. So many feelings came into play and you painted it out so perfectly for us. I really hope they can talk more, and actually manage to speak their truths about it, rather than all this miscommunication and assumptions on both ends. I know you'll make them happy in the end, so until then, I'll enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions and shouting at my screen hahaha

I am so eager to see what happens next!!! (and would NOT be mad if this turned into a Lofn.....)

Pretend to Be Nice - 2 - Not a Monster

For the @deanobingo 2023 event!

Prompts: Anders Johnson - Nightmare, Jealousy, In Vino Veritas, "Come with me."

The Almighty Johnsons - Anders & female Reader 5551 words

Summary: You've avoided Anders since your unanswered confession, but when Axl invites you to a party at his place, you force yourself to attend. Anders pretends not to care what you're up to, but can't help but get involved.

CW: Alcohol consumption, drugging, vague mention of hookups. Angsty? Slow burn I guess? (This is a multi-part story.) Part 1 here.

Weeks passed.

You hadn’t told anyone about your forced confession to Anders, and you assumed - based on the lack of harassment from the others - that he hadn’t either.

He also hadn’t contacted you at all; a far cry from his usual texts and invites out. You took this to mean he had no desire to be around you and encourage your pathetic infatuation; that he had no interest in you as a partner or a friend.

Mortified after your confession, there was no way you were going to reach out first, and you’d been happy to avoid everyone while you tried to kill the stupid feelings.

That hadn’t gone especially well.

The complete lack of response from Anders felt like it could only be a rejection, and yet it lacked any closure, so you found yourself obsessing over it. You’d replayed the gobsmacked expression of his in your mind so much that you’d started to have dreams about it; dreams where he’d answered you.

Sometimes in the dreams, he’d pulled you into a passionate embrace, confessing that he felt the same. Other times he’d told you not to feel that way; confirmed that there was no intention from him to change how things stood between you.

Naturally, your other godly friends had tried to get you out to the usual gatherings, but you’d been fortunate enough since then to have completely legitimate conflicting plans - between work and mortal-friend commitments - to get you out of them. Nobody had to know you’d sought them out specifically to avoid Anders and his brothers.

No such luck this week, though, so when Axl’s personal invitation to a party at his flat came by text, you were hard-pressed to think of a good reason why you wouldn’t be there.

You knew you couldn’t avoid the Johnsons forever, and no matter how much ribbing you expected to get from Anders, you told yourself it was better to try to get back to normal as soon as possible.

Maybe if he’s really awful to me I’ll get over him faster.

Still, you didn’t really fancy getting told how ugly you looked, so you spent a little longer perfecting your hair and makeup than usual, donning a skintight dress similar to ones that Anders had praised in the past.

At least if you were unwanted by him, maybe you could hook up with one of Axl’s little friends to make yourself feel better.

Axl lit up when he saw you arrive. It had only been a couple weeks since he’d seen you, but after Anders’s odd comments about you not wanting to go out with them, he had noticed your absence on the club nights and at the usual weekend get-togethers.

He’d personally invited you this time, hoping that a request from Odin might hold more weight. He hoped that if you came, he could get Anders to apologize to you, or at the very least sort out why you were upset with his (admittedly rude) older brother.

“Hey, you made it!”

You couldn’t help but return Axl’s wide grin, letting out a small laugh as he pulled you into a tight hug.

“I did.” “We missed you.” “Missed you too. Just been busy of late. But- here now.”

You had missed them. All of them, Anders included. As soon as you were in Axl’s presence, it was like your goddess spirit woke up, happy to be around her kind.

“Most of the others aren’t here yet, but my schoolmates are.” He gestured down the hall to where you could see Axl-aged dudes chugging cans of beer. “Fancy a drink?”

“Chur.” “Keen.”

You followed Axl toward the kitchen, thinking it was awfully sweet of him to be so happy to see you, and feeling a stone of guilt for avoiding him and the others.

Anders arrived fashionably late, refusing to cut short his work dinner for what he knew was going to be a shitty party with young mortals in attendance.

After greeting Axl he made his way toward the kitchen to find some piss.

He spotted you straight away - standing in a corner, batting your lashes at some tall lanky mortal he’d never seen. You looked like sex on legs, and he wanted you to take off your dress for an entirely different reason than that one time at Michele’s.

Still he feigned not to notice, taking a breath as he approached the chilly bin.

Michele, who was standing nearby, however, didn’t fail to catch him looking in your direction. She stepped forward and took a beer right after him.

“Now that all the Johnsons are present, something's sure to go awry,” she greeted him.

“Such a friendly goddess. Can’t imagine why Colin dumped you.”

Michele gaped, amusement joining the offense in her voice. “I dumped him, you prick. As you well know.” “Mm, to bag my older brother who you wanted to make a sacrifice as I recall.”

She shrugged. “Well that was then.” “Go easy on him.” “Where’s the fun in that?”

Anders met Michele’s smirk with a smile of his own. He didn’t really care about them dating so long as nothing bad happened to his brothers as a result.

Michele surveyed the scene, frowning. “We’re really slumming it tonight, eh?”

He held his hands as if weighing two points. “Free piss. Distinct lack of viable bedmates.” “Depends on your standards.”

Michele gestured toward where you were twirling your hair, flirting with some guy who was eating it up. “Speaking as the most attractive person in the room-”

“Second most,” Anders interjected. You being the first.

Michele flipped him the bird without looking. “-he’s just acceptable for a mortal. She can do better.”

Anders put a hand to his chest in mock-defensiveness. “I’ve tried going there, but she turns me down,” he joked.

It was true that he’d initially tried it on and been rebuffed, but that had been before you’d really become friends with the Johnsons. It hadn’t crossed his mind seriously again until your spontaneous confession the other day, but he’d imagined it several times since. Now he really wasn’t sure where you stood. Why confess only to tell him nothing would come of it?

“Don’t even think about it, Bragi.”

Anders bristled at the way Michele sneered his godly name.

“She deserves heaps better than you.” “What the hell does that mean?” “That while you may brainwash mortals into a night of fun, you’re not capable of keeping a goddess satisfied.” “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Just remember that we goddesses stick together.”

“Ooh.” He shrugged. “Scary. I think we’re past all that, don’t you?”

Michele shrugged, feigning a lack of concern. “Not that she’d ever go for a pig like you anyway.”

He assumed that Michele’s comments meant you hadn’t told your little goddess friends about your supposed infatuation with him. He almost corrected her, but decided to keep your privacy instead.

“You don’t know that.”

Michele sized Anders up, remembering your comments about not pursuing your feelings, and let out a derisive snicker before walking off. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Anders turned his attention back to you and the young mortal you were flattering. “Right, just look at my insurmountable competition,” he quipped lightly.

Michele laughed, agreeing that Axl’s friend was hardly a great catch.

Anders watched you silently, telling himself that Michele didn’t know what she was talking about; about whether or not you were into him, and about whether or not he could satisfy you.

I could if I wanted to, he thought defensively.

Did he want to, though? Your rejection had been a blow to his ego, and instinctively he wanted to prove Michele wrong; but did that mean he wanted to pursue you?

He pursed his lips as he watched you place your hand on the mortal’s arm, batting your lashes as you smiled up at him. Nostrils flaring, he looked over the crowd, wondering where his brothers had ended up. If he had to watch you fawn over the loser much longer he thought he might chunder.

Not that he was jealous.

“Oh thank god,” Michele murmured, watching you excuse yourself from the mortal they’d been assessing on your behalf.

She flashed you a grin when you spotted her, and you smiled back, then fought to keep your expression light as you spotted Anders standing near her.

You pretended like it didn’t burn a hole in your stomach as you walked over.

Anders noted your empty beer bottle, and by the time you’d placed it on the counter, he had a fresh one opened that he pressed into your hand.

“Ta,” you managed, throat feeling dry. You couldn’t quite maintain eye contact with him, the double judgment of knowing that both Anders and Michele were aware of your feelings for him making you feel extra scrutinized.

“Have to take care of my favourite goddess.”

Michele snorted, but you felt the heat rising in your cheeks, so you took a swig and turned your attention from Anders to Michele.

“You can do better,” Michele quipped, and you caught that she also meant it about Anders and not just the guy you’d been chatting up.

“Seriously,” Anders piled on. “No offense to Ax’, but his friends are not Auckland’s finest.”

“Well I’m not shopping for a husband, am I?” You tilted your head to rub at your neck as you looked over to the kid in question. “Sometimes it’s just nice to feel wanted,” you commented lightly.

You didn’t see the way Anders’s expression flickered, all three of you immediately distracted by another of the Tech students walking up behind you and Michele.

“Ladies.”

You and Michele both turned to face him in confusion.

Michele gave him an instant lookover, her face quirking into an unimpressed expression.

“Hello,” you offered, trying to be polite.

Anders tilted his head at the guy and loosed his Bragi tones, wincing in second-hand embarrassment. “They’re both way out of your league, mate.”

The stranger gave a dazed nod, then turned to walk off.

You hugged yourself, feeling awkward, while Michele raised her brows and cocked her head at Anders.

“Oh- I’m sorry- Did you want him, Michele?” he asked teasingly. “I didn’t think Mike was the sort to share.”

She flashed him a bemused smile. “He’s not.”

The next thing you knew, she was wrapping her arm around your shoulders. “Come on, you. I haven’t seen you in ages and we have catching up to do.”

“Right…” You glanced at Anders, feeling like maybe that was a rude way to walk away after having a group conversation with him.

He gave you a quick nod of goodbye, then turned away, giving you the impression that he wasn’t all that bothered by it.

In truth, Anders didn’t want to appear to have been affected by Michele’s insults or whatever was going on with you.

Once Michele had steered you out the back door to the deck, Anders leaned against the kitchen counter and stared into space as he contemplated the situation.

He knew you too well to think that your comment about feeling wanted was in any way a jab at him. It had been too off-the-cuff and honest; almost like you’d forgotten he would hear it, or that he might view it through the context of your weird confession weeks earlier.

He had been avoiding you, secretly grateful for your absence the last few get-togethers, unsure how you would behave around him. Lovesick mortals were an annoyance, but one Bragi had easily handled many times. A goddess, though; that was more complicated.

Seeing you here had made him realize how much he’d missed being around you. If anything, he was a bit hurt that you were acting almost like that conversation had never happened. You’d seemed so torn up about it, looking at him like you were hurt… and now you were barely looking at him at all.

For all he knew, you’d already moved on. That thought probably should have comforted him, but it was worse, somehow, than someone not having loved him in the first place.

He chugged the rest of his beer, then walked off to find one of his brothers.

If you were going to pretend like nothing had happened, he could too.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of the backyard fire distracting your mind until Ingrid’s firm grip on your hands grounded you.

You were seated cross-legged before her, sitting on a blanket she’d stolen from the house and wrapped in a second one, Michele standing over you both, refusing to join you in your lowly seats.

Ingrid let out a long hum, then let go of your hands to start rubbing some crystals together.

“Alright, you can open your eyes,” she advised.

You did so to see her peering at you suspiciously.

She reached out, seemingly plucking at the air around you. “You’ve got so much… buzzing. Your mind must be a nightmare right now.”

She let out a small laugh, but when you simply pursed your lips, she offered you a pitying expression, holding her hand on her heart. “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

You shrugged. “No, you’re right. I’m- having a bit of a hard go of it. But- it’s fine. She’ll be right.”

“Well not to worry.” Ingrid put her hand on yours. “We’ll get you sorted.”

Michele kept quiet as she observed, though she had little faith in most of Ingrid’s intuitive fluff despite her status as an oracle. Instead she smiled and sipped at her beer, happy to see you distracted by something other than Anders. She had noticed the way you couldn’t make eye contact with him, quite abnormal given how chummy you usually were with him. She wanted to encourage that distance; give you a chance to move on.

“You just sit there and I’ll see what comes up.”

You watched as Ingrid shuffled a deck of oracle cards that you’d seen her use a handful of other times, wondering if she could actually help you with them.

Unless they can erase memories, I already made an ass of myself…

You wondered what Anders thought of seeing you flirt with the students at the party. It probably seemed pretty pitiful. It occurred to you only then that he might have thought you were doing it to make him jealous, and you felt your stomach turn.

He must think I’m proper pathetic.

Ingrid let out a low hum, an overly serious look on her face as she stared down at the five cards that she’d laid out between you.

“That bad, eh?” you lamented.

“There’s something you don’t see clearly, or… There’s something… you think-” She shut her eyes to try to put words to the overall message being conveyed. “You think it’s one way, but it’s not. You follow the path before you, but later you’ll realize it wasn’t what you thought. It’s all spilled milk and confusion…” She opened her eyes to squint at you. “Or sabotage?”

“Well that’s fucking cheery, Ingrid,” Michele lamented.

“Oh- no! It’s good, though. A warning, that things aren’t as they seem, for better or worse. So be careful.” She reached around you again, carding her fingers through the space around you in an attempt to clear your aura. “There’s something pulling the wool over your eyes.”

You finished off the beer Anders had handed you earlier, then sighed. “I reckon I know what it is.”

“Here.” Ingrid pressed one of her smooth stones into your palm. “Take this to strengthen your intuition and inner wisdom.”

“Ta.” You looked down at the translucent purple stone, touched by Ingrid’s sincerity.

Anders walked down the hall after a conversation with Olaf and Ty in Zeb’s bedroom, stopping where it opened to the living space to scan the crowd.

It took him a moment to spot you, holding a nearly empty bottle and chatting up yet another loser friend of Axl’s now in the corner of the kitchen.

You looked munted, your eyelids heavier than usual as you smiled almost-vacantly at the bland mortal before you. Your new friend, on the other hand, was practically fucking you with his eyes, clearly chuffed to have your attention.

Before he could question why he felt the need to interrupt it, Anders walked over and greeted you by name, pointedly ignoring the guy you were trying to talk to.

Your dazed expression morphed into a dumb grin. “Anders! Hi, Anders.” You reached out to grip his forearm, grateful for the extra support to keep you on your feet. Shouldn’t have worn heels, you thought.

Anders snickered at your reaction to him. He spoke to you with amused patronization as he steadied you with both hands. “Yeah, hi again. You having a good time?”

You shut your eyes to nod, the plastered smile not leaving your face as he gently held you in place. “Mhm.”

“Don’t think maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink?” “I barely had three beer.”

Anders frowned. You weren’t that much of a light-weight. He’d seen you drink several times that amount and not act this out of sorts.

The other guy put his hand on Anders’s shoulder. “Hey, we were talking here-”

“Piss off.” Anders glared up at the younger man, watching as the power of Bragi’s words washed over him. The other man blinked and walked off, leaving you alone in the corner.

Anders tilted his head as he turned his attention back to you. “You partake in something else then?” “No.” “Are you sure? You’re not feeling unwell?”

You tried to consider the question seriously, but as you closed your eyes to concentrate, you felt a pleasant sleepiness fogging your brain.

“I’m a bit tired,” you answered at last. “Yeah?”

“I’ve become an old lady.” You whined and stepped forward to rest your face on his shoulder.

You wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed now, but you didn’t have the wits to get yourself there.

“No, I don’t think that’s the issue.”

Anders held you up, frowning as he mentally eliminated other explanations for your behaviour, eventually convincing himself that all signs pointed to you having been drugged. He looked around for the guy who had been talking to you, but didn’t see him anymore.

He tucked his lower lip under his teeth. You needed to rest. “Maybe we should call it a night, eh?”

You hummed in mild agreement, smiling against his suit jacket as you enjoyed the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his arms supporting you.

Before the two of you could make a break for it, though, Mike approached and tapped Anders’s shoulder.

They shared a tense glance, Mike looking you over and clearly questioning what was going on before deciding not to comment on the fact that you were in an intimate position. None of my business, he decided.

“Family meeting. Axl’s room. Now.”

Anders pursed his lips, nostrils flaring, but nodded. No sense arguing, but he didn’t want to leave you unattended in this state, either.

As Mike walked off, Anders spotted Zeb coming into the kitchen to grab another beer.

“Hey, you.”

Zeb raised a brow, pausing with his fingers on the pull tab of his beer. “Me?”

“Got a job for you.”

Anders stepped over, expression stern despite the compliant attention Zeb was giving him. He pointed at you and slipped his voice into his low, echoing Bragi tones, making Zeb’s head fuzzy.

“You stay with her until I say so. There is nothing more important than making sure nothing bad happens to her tonight. Understood?”

Zeb blinked slowly, but nodded. As the dominating pressure lifted, he eased and turned his attention to you. “Fancy a drink?”

“She’s had enough,” Anders called, already walking toward the hall to join his brothers.

It took nearly two hours for the Johnsons to wrap up their crisis, meaning that by the time Anders returned to the flat with Axl, the party had died out. They stepped into the quiet house, and Anders frowned to see most of the lights were out.

“She probably went home,” Axl muttered. Anders had told him he planned to give you a lift home after seeing how munted you’d gotten, but Axl found it hard to believe you were that pissed given how often the three of you went out on the town together. “Or- not.”

They found you asleep under a blanket on the couch, your head in Zeb’s lap as he watched an old kaiju movie.

Zeb flashed Axl an easy smile. “Ah, you’re back.”

Axl rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Bit of a wild night.”

“I await your tale in the morning my lord. For now I’d like to be relieved so I can catch some zeds.”

Anders nodded and stepped over. “Alright, rise and shine.”

It took a bit of coaxing from Zeb before you blinked awake, yawning as your eyes focused enough to take in Anders and Axl standing in the room with you.

“I fell asleep,” you murmured, disoriented.

“Yeah, you did-” Anders grabbed your hands to help pull you off the couch. “Come with me. I’ll get you home.”

You nodded, leaning into him a bit as he started guiding you toward the hallway. “Mm, kay.”

Axl stifled his laugh, amused by how out of it you were, and happy to see you and Anders getting along just fine.

“See ya.” “Night.”

“Bye Axl, bye Zeb,” you managed.

Zeb stood beside Axl and waved as you and Anders left out the front door.

He turned to look up at Axl. “Your brother did that Bragi thing on me again.”

Axl winced. “Sorry…” he croaked.

Meanwhile, Anders was struggling to get you to his car - not because you weren’t being compliant, but because you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes open to watch where you were going.

He had to hold you up as you ambled beside him, clinging to his jacket and leaning into him.

“I’m so tired.” “And you can sleep when you’re home. Just- gotta get- to the car.”

You made a happy humming noise. “You’re so nice, Anders.”

“That’s not what you usually say.”

You let out a sleepy laugh.

He propped you against the side of the vehicle to get the door open, and when he moved to help you inside, he froze when you put your hands on his cheeks.

“Everyone thinks you’re rude when you’re being funny, but you’re really a good man.”

He swallowed, unsure how seriously to take a comment like that, given your condition. Your voice and expression were full of genuine affection, and he caught the way your eyes trained down to his lips.

“You’re wonderful,” you continued.

He kept his face neutral, hands off you. “Get in the car, goddess.”

You gave a hum of easy assent, and he stood immobile as you got yourself into the seat and fumbled with the seatbelt.

He shut the door and made his way around the back of the vehicle, wiping his hand over his mouth roughly. What am I supposed to say to that?

A while later Anders laid back against his pillow and rubbed his eyes roughly. He blinked up at the ceiling, shoving one arm behind his head, assessing the night’s events.

This wasn’t exactly what he’d imagined when he’d tossed around the idea of taking you to bed.

He glanced to his right, the sight of you completely passed out a mild solace to the anger he felt in his gut. Someone had drugged you, and he didn’t know who.

Someone connected to Axl, it seemed, which was going to upset his brother, of course. Moreover, a mortal had wronged a goddess, which he knew would piss off Michele, and he had half a mind to tell her if it meant retribution on the fucker. Mike could probably find them right away, if he asked.

Anders wasn’t a fan of date rape in general, but he’d be lying to himself if he couldn’t admit that it happening to his friend was really what was pissing him off. If someone had done the same thing to Dawn, he’d react just as strongly… Right?

Well, that was his working theory, anyway. Despite entertaining the idea of bedding since your last chat, it wasn’t like he thought of you the way he thought of the chicks he usually had fun with.

He saw you as important somehow. Worthy of respect and protection. That meant you were some other category of woman. Dawn was the closest he could match that feeling up with, so that must put you back into the realm of ‘friend’.

But you don’t fuck friends.

Chicks weren’t usually into that sort of thing, and based on what he knew of you, you were more of the boyfriend sort than the quick root sort most of the time. Maybe if that last guy hadn’t been such a jafa, you wouldn’t have even fallen for Anders, and then none of this would be on the table, and he wouldn’t have to question how he felt about all of it.

He watched you wince and groan in your sleep, wondering what sort of dream you were having.

“Shh, you’re safe as houses,” he murmured, not noticing his own Bragi tones as he reached out. He pulled the covers higher up your body until you were tucked in securely.

Why did you have to tell me?

If you didn’t want him, why say that you loved him? Was it better to know, or not know?

He huffed and rolled over to face away from you, a heavy feeling in his chest he couldn’t name.

---

You woke the next morning, blinking to clear your confusion as you looked around the strange bedroom you found yourself alone in. Sitting up, it seemed vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t place it.

Did I hook up with someone…?

Then you registered a familiar scent, and suddenly you remembered when you’d been in the room before.

Months earlier, you’d met up with Anders and Axl at Anders’s flat before a night out, only to have Anders send you into his bedroom to grab something he’d forgotten.

Why am I in Anders’s bed?

You looked yourself over, heart racing, but you were fully clothed in what you’d worn the night before - jewelry and all.

You slowly got up, adjusting your clothes to look as presentable as they could after being slept in. Something didn’t feel right, though, and you reached into your bra to find a small purple stone had been pressed inside, the memory of Ingrid handing it to you flashing vaguely through your mind.

You put it back in place, then walked cautiously out into the living area, relieved when you saw Anders sitting at his dining table having a coffee.

He looked up attentively. “Ah, you’re up! How you feeling?”

You hugged yourself, stopping beside his kitchen island. “Confused, mostly. Why am I at your flat?”

“You weren’t feeling well at the party. Tried to take you home, but you couldn’t tell me where that was.”

You frowned. You couldn’t remember much after getting to the party. You’d had a few drinks and tried to be friendly to Axl’s friends, but then… “It’s a bit of a blur, to be honest,” you murmured, rubbing your temple.

“I think you might have been drugged.”

You looked up to see Anders with a strange expression on his face. There were hints of anger in his tense features, but his eyes met yours with concern.

Something pulling the wool over my eyes, eh?

“You should eat something, drink some water.”

“Uh- sure. Ta.” You turned and grabbed a glass from his dish rack to fill at the sink. “If I was drugged then..-”

“Nothing happened to you, don’t worry. Zeb was with you, then me. Safe as houses.”

Zeb, right. You had a hazy memory of laying in his lap. You knew him too well to think he’d drug you, so it must have been one of Axl’s other mortal friends that you’d been availing yourself to all night.

“I’ll have to thank him.” “Mm.” “And- Thanks to you, too, Anders. Sorry I’ve been causing you so much trouble lately.” “No trouble.”

“Mm, you say that, but…” You rolled your eyes, thinking it was awfully pathetic to need his help after how awkward everything had gotten. “You really didn’t have to go to all the fuss of putting me up.”

“What was I supposed to do? Leave you with those dickheads at the party? Despite what Mike thinks, I do actually believe in fun being consensual.”

You shrugged. “It just- wasn’t really your problem, that’s all.” “Codswallop.”

You raised a brow.

Anders glared back at you with offense. “I may not be your boyfriend, but if you think I’d just sit back while something happened to you, you’re wrong. I’m not a monster.”

“Sorry.” You looked down.

You’d never thought he was one, but it felt pathetic to be getting his help when you felt the way you did about him and knew he didn’t reciprocate.

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that you were still acting a bit strange around him, but it hurt him a bit to think you didn’t want him looking out for you.

Weren’t you… friends? It occurred to him that he didn’t have many of those. Maybe he’d misjudged it.

“I wasn’t trying to imply…” You took a deep breath and glanced up at him as you put down your glass. “I’m gonna head home.”

He got up and followed you toward the door. “Are you sure you’ll be right? I can give you a lift.”

You gestured dismissively as you stepped into your shoes. “No worries. I don’t live far.”

You caught the way his brows slightly raised. “Oh. Good.”

You hesitated in the doorway, then met his gaze, voice earnest. “Thank you for looking after me.” “Of course.”

You turned to leave, but he put his hand on your forearm.

“Hey-”

When your eyes met his, you read a vulnerability in them that you weren’t used to, his furrowed brow making you worry.

“We’re friends, right?”

You felt the knot in your stomach ease, reassured that he still wanted a connection to you despite your pointless confession.

You offered him a genuine smile, shoulders relaxing. “Always.”

Of course a friend would step in in a situation like this. If he still saw you that way, then maybe you could go back to seeing him that way, too.

He couldn’t help but return your smile as he let go of you, then stood watching you for a beat as you walked down the hall before he shut the door to his flat.

He was relieved at your confirmation - of something he’d never had to put into words before - and hoped it meant that things could eventually go back to normal between you; that you’d stop acting so uncomfortable around him.

He emptied your water glass into the sink and huffed.

The idea that one of Axl’s idiot friends had drugged a goddess still wasn’t sitting well with him, so he grabbed his keys and put on some shoes to go get to the bottom of it.

I’ll figure out which dickhead it was, and then Bragi can have a little chat with him.

Anders had spent the morning dealing to the mortal who’d wronged his friend, feeling quite noble about his use of his powers for once.

That afternoon he sat at his desk, staring into space as he ran his thumb over his lower lip.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

The tortuously sexy dress you’d worn to flirt with Axl’s idiot friends. The way your face had lit up to see him while you were drugged. The relief he had felt to see you safe and asleep in his bed. Your saccharine smile when you’d affirmed that you’d always be friends. And the heartbroken, apologetic way you’d told him that you’d fallen for him.

It wasn’t fair, he thought, that you’d put the idea in his head like that. To make him question what it might be like to be really loved by you, when you’d rejected him in the same breath.

How can you want me and not want me at the same time? Am I not good enough?

He held his head in his hands and let out a long sigh.

“Anders, are you alright?”

“The most beautiful goddess in Auckland is in love with me, of course I’m not alright.” “What?” “What?”

Anders looked up in concern, but Dawn gave him a look he couldn’t interpret, tilting her head.

“Someone’s in love with you?” “No.” He shook his head. “Nevermind.” “Are you sure…?”

He scowled. “You know, it’s not a good look to be nosy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’m sure I don’t want to know anyway.” She tossed the folder she was holding onto his desk. “Here are the reports you asked for.”

“Thank you, Dawn!” He opened the folder and enthusiastically started looking through them, grateful for the distraction.

“Thank god,” he murmured.

A/N: Thanks for reading this, if you did! I feel like I haven't been finishing as many WIPs as I'd like, but I'm determined to keep this story to the current outline so hopefully it won't grow like Lofn did (I'm close to the next chapter of that being ready, too, I promise it's in the works!) and you'll get the rest of it shortly. Special thanks to @laurfilijames for putting up with my ramblings about this fic idea since its inception.

Tags: @the-poldarkian @i-did-not-mean-to @the-butterfly-blues @laurfilijames @midearthwritings @feeweeeee @ichoosechoasandbeingqueer @missihart23 @spngingerbread21

As always if you'd like to be added or removed from tagging (for a specific character/fandom/everything) just let me know any time!

#deanobingo2023 #deano bingo #anders johnson #anders johnson x female reader #the almighty johnsons #the almighty johnsons fanfic #dean o'gorman

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locitapurplepink · 2 years ago

Note

For the writing requests, Kanan and Ezra with the “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” prompt?

Let's see what can I do with this one @cassie-fanfics

Storm of Memories

Kanan and Ezra

Kanan and Ezra just finished doing their supply mission but when they were on the way back to the Ghost, the phantom suddenly broke down.

The worst past was during they fixed the ship, there were a dark clouds appeared. Kanan sighed "I have a bad feeling about this.."

5 minutes later, the rain came down and Kanan took cover inside the phantom. Meanwhile Ezra enjoyed feel the rain drops which Kanan was unpleased and counfused at the same time.

"We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain ?"

Ezra laughed "Uh yeah, It's not often happen here. Besides, I could have the best part of this." He immediately showed Kanan with splashing on him.

Making Kanan's clothes was wet "Hey !" Ezra chuckled "What ? You're scared, old man ?" He teased.

Kanan shook his head as scoffed "Oh, you want that ?" He kicked a water puddle to splash on Ezra. Ezra jumped away from that splash as he said "Game begins !"

Kanan and Ezra had fun with splashing each other until their body totally wet but the thunder appeared "Looks like our game's over. Come on, Ezra... "

He was shocked that he wasn't outside. He checked inside the phantom. Kanan found Ezra sitting on the seat as hugged his legs tight.

Kanan noticed that Ezra was so scared of his shaking body. He sat besides Ezra and rubbed his back. "Ezra ?" Ezra didn't stare at him as Kanan reassured "It's okay to afraid. Everyone's afraid."

"I'm such a baby." Ezra spoke. Kanan gave him a hug "Hey, don't say like that. I know you've been survived for 8 years and now, you have me. If you need some company, you can come to me, okay ?"

Ezra started to calm and stared at him "Okay." He whispered but then the thunder appeared again which Ezra screamed and hugged Kanan tight and Kanan rubbed his back.

"Shh... It's okay. I'm here... "

The thunderstorm was taking for a whole night until Kanan and Ezra fell asleep. The next morning, Sabine noticed them fell asleep as cuddling.

"Hey, Zeb, come here." She called in whisper.

Zeb came to her "What ? Oh.. "

They smirked watching Kanan and Ezra "Hera will be happy to see this." She thought. "I'll call her and Chopper."

...

Hope you like this one.

#star wars rebels fanfic #star wars rebels #rebels kanan #rebels ezra #kanan jarrus #ezra bridger #kanan and ezra #writing post #writing requests #sabine wren #garazeb orrelios

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laurenmm62017 · 4 years ago

Text

Kalluzeb Appreciation Week day 3!

Happy Kalluzeb Appreciation Week day 3! I'm a bit late, but I got it out! I chose the prompt: Adopting children.

From the first time I watched "The Honorable Ones", I knew that these two dorks were meant for each other and I so glad I got to write them. I hope you enjoy!

@kalluzeb

How Will We Spend Our Lives?

Having kids was never the highest priority for Kallus, right up until baby Jacen was born. It’s a couple days after Hera gave birth to the cutest little Lima bean he had ever seen. Then again, he was never known for being a caretaker, even before he had left home and joined the Academy. He genuinely never gave children another thought, even when he and Garazeb began to get more serious.

Hera had invited them all to see the baby after a couple of days of rest in the medbay. It was a pretty small room, so Zeb, Rex, and Alexsandr allowed Sabine and Chopper to go in first.

“I’m real happy for Hera.” Rex said, smiling faintly. “She has a part of him forever now.”

“Just hope this little womp rat doesn’t have his powers. Can’t even imagine all the chaos that’d bring.” Zeb laughed.

“Please don’t say that, Zeb. You’re going to make it come true somehow.” Alexsandr smiled, leaning against his partner, while Rex stands across the hall.

“I never thought I’d see the day we would have a baby Spectre come into the galaxy.” Zeb said, smiling down at Alexsandr.

“Neither did I. I-”

They were interrupted by the door to Hera’s room opening, and Sabine and Chopper gestured for Zeb and Alexsandr to go in next. They pushed off the wall together and entered the room.

There’s Hera, lying in the medical bed, with a tiny bundle of blankets in her arms.

“Hey, boys.” She still sounded tired, which isn’t a surprise. “Here to meet our newest crew member?”

She shifted the blanket to the side to reveal the tiniest face they had ever seen and tufts of bright green hair. The baby’s eyes were still closed and appeared to be sleeping.

“This is Jacen Syndulla.” Hera smiled down at her baby. “7 pounds even.”

Zeb leaned down to get a closer look while Alexsandr walked to the other side of the bed and placed a comforting hand on Hera’s shoulder.

“He’s beautiful, Hera. I’d say he looks just like him, but I don’t know what he looked like as a baby.” Zeb joked, making a funny face. He just couldn’t understand how small babies were. Lasat children were born to climb their parents and trees.

Alexsandr chuckled and asked, “The birth went smoothly, I heard. I expected nothing else from General Syndulla.”

“Kallus, I’m naked with a tiny baby on my chest; I’m the farthest thing from a generalat the moment. I just want to be a mother for now.”

“Of course, Hera. Sorry.”

“Do either of you want to hold him?” Hera suddenly asked. Both Zeb and Alexsandr were taken aback. Hera looked at them expectantly, then gently pulled Alexsandr closer and began to slowly transfer the little bundle into his arms.

Alexsandr’s eyes widened, his hands immediately moving to hold the baby rather awkwardly. One hand was supporting his head, and the other was holding the body, but Zeb snickered quietly as Alexsandr tried to get more comfortable.

Alexsandr ignored Zeb and Hera talking quietly. He stared into this tiny being’s sleeping fade and he felt a surge of protectiveness, like he will never let anything bad happen to him.

That night, Zeb and Alexsandr were lying in bed, about to go to sleep. They were both lying on their left sides, Zeb’s back facing Alex while their hands were tangled together over Zeb’s stomach.

“Zeb?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever… wanted that?”

“Wanted what, Alex?”

“A child. A family of your own?”

Zeb hummed, and turned over to face Alexsandr. He cupped his face in his hands carefully and tilted Alexsandr’s face up.

“I’ve never really given it thought. I always just assumed I’d stay the uncle of the Ghost crew. I never thought of having a child of my own. But I can tell that you have, Alex. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I… I also haven’t given it much thought in the past. Not until Hera got pregnant. I think… when this war is over… when things finally settle down, and we aren’t fighting for our lives. I want that. I want a family together. We could adopt a child or two. We can finally have peace.” Alex covered Zeb’s hand with his own and squeezed it as he spoke. “Sorry, I’m rambling on.”

“No, it’s fine, Alex. I love hearing you speak so freely. I love the idea of spending the rest of our lives together. You have to know that, right?”

Alex nodded.

Zeb smiled and continued. “It's a bit early to think about children, but I wouldn’t mind a little ankle biter running around the Ghost with Jacen.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

They smiled at each other and slowly fell asleep together, dreaming about the present and about the future.

#kaw2021 #Kalluzeb Appreciation Week #garazeb orrelios #alexsandr kallus #kalluzeb #star wars #star wars rebels

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midnight-raven · 4 years ago

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Rebels/Disney One-Shots: Show Yourself

Based on my Rebels/Disney AU: Show Yourself

Recently I've been suffering from Writers' Block and couldn't conjure the inspiration to continue a lot of my stories. To pass the time, I began thinking of moments with the Rebels/Disney AU's I created and decided to make it a thing.

I will be writing my favorite scenes from each prompt, and take requests from your favorite scenes as well.

To start off, a Musical Number!

Ahtohallan was more beautiful than Ezra could have ever imagined. The large glacier stood tall over the large frozen Dark Sea.

Ezra stood on the frozen-over ocean, just in front of the large river of ice.

For so long, he wanted to know why he was born this way, with his abilities. And now that he had a chance to find out… Ezra was scared.

Trust yourself, Kanan's voice echoed in his mind.

Oh, how he wished the man could go with him, but Ezra knew that this was a journey he needed to take on his own.

“Ahh-ahh, ah-ah” the beautiful angelic voice of Ahtohallan sang out, reminding the young Ice Conjurer why he was there in the first place.

Closing his eyes, Ezra took in a deep breath and slowly started walking into Ahtohallan.

“Every inch of me is trembling but not from the cold,” the boy sang softly, his voice echoing across the ice walls, “Something is familiar; like a dream, I can reach but not quite hold,”

As Ezra stepped further into the large glacier, he rubbed his hands together. A nervous habit he always had.

“I can sense you there; like a friend I've always known. I'm arriving, and it feels like I am home,”

For so long, he searched for the answers behind himself and who he was meant to be.

Now he’ll finally find the answers.

“I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside. You have secrets, too, but you don't have to hide,”

“Show yourself; I'm dying to meet you. Show yourself; It's your turn,

Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself; I'm ready to learn,”

Ah-ah, ah-ah!

Just then, the angelic voice appeared just behind him.

“Ah-ah, ah-ah,”

Turning on his heel, Ezra saw a secret entrance, with four bright lights glowing inside the ice wall.

Just then, the lights flowed further down the ice, guiding the boy further down into Ahtohollan.

With a bright smile, Ezra raced to catch up with the lights.

“I've never felt so certain, all my life, I've been torn!”

As the path continued, Ezra sprints shifted into a sliding motion, his feet gliding across the icy grounds.

“But I'm here for a reason, could it be the reason I was born?”

Further ahead in his way, Ezra saw that the path ended at a cliff… But Ezra wasn’t afraid, not this time.

Kanan's advice echoed into his head, Don’t be afraid of who you are.

With his confidence bursting through his body, Ezra leaped off the edge of the cliff into the open air.

“I have always been so different;

Waving his hand in the air, a tall pillar of ice suddenly grew from the ground, catching Ezra before he could fall.

As the boy continued leaping through the air, more pillars grew until he reached the next side of the cliff.

Normal rules did not apply,”

Upon landing on the path, the four lights behind the walls appeared again to guide him.

“Is this the day? Are you the way?

The lights trailed to another doorway, however, the entrance was blocked by fallen ice pillars.

I finally find out why,”

Ezra only smiled at the sight.

“Show yourself!”

Thrusting his arms out wide, Ezra pushed all the pillars upwards so the doorway was opened once more.

“I'm no longer trembling!”

As he walked further into the room, Ezra continued lifting pillars one-by-one until his path was no longer blocked.

“Here I am, I've come so far!

You are the answer I've waited for, all of my life!”

Ezra finally reached the end of the room, to a small area that was filled with a thick mist.

“Oh, Show Yourself!”

With a wave of his wrist, the mist disappeared, granting the boy entrance.

Let me see who you are!”

Stepping through the entrance, Ezra was confused by the empty room.

“Come to me now,

Just then, a bright green trail of light began swirling around Ezra, embracing him, and then the green silhouette of a young woman walked beside him.

Ezra's eyes brightened as he recognized the woman; Hera, the Air Spirit.

The green lights then formed a giant green crystal in front of the boy, with the Air Element symbol engraved on the front.

Open your door,”

Just then, dark blue lights rose from the ground, like the sea waves. As the waves got bigger, a strong-looking man rose out of the waves just in front of Ezra.

The man was Zeb, the Sea Spirit.

The blue lights also shifted into a large crystal with the Element Symbol of Water.

“Don't make me wait,”

A purple & pink mix of a young girl's silhouette suddenly walked up from behind Ezra, fire danced at her feet as she walked.

Sabine, the Fire Spirit.

Like the others before, a crystal formed from the lights of the silhouette with the Fire Symbol.

“One moment more,”

Finally, a large dark green silhouette of a wolf walked out of the darkness and past Ezra. Walking beside the giant wolf was a man holding a large staff, small patches of grass grew out from where they both walked.

It was Kanan, the Earth Spirit.

The fourth crystal formed in the air, completing the Four Spirits of the Enchanted Forest.

“Oh, come to me now, open your door!”

Just then, the four crystals slowly began descending from the air until they landed on the dark icy ground, putting Ezra in the center.

“Don't make me wait, One moment more,”

With determination, Ezra stomped onto the center of the crystals. More lights appeared until it formed a large blue & white snowflake in the ice.

In the blink of an eye, the lights surrounded Ezra before shooting upwards in the sky. In a bright white explosion, images began forming across the ice.

Memories of Ezra's past appeared all along the walls of Ahtohallan.

Memories of his childhood with his parents, the years Ezra spent isolated in his Ice Palace, first meeting his new family in the Enchanted Forest, and embracing his powers.

As more memories appeared, the voices of the past began singing out to the boy.

“Where the North Wind meets the Sea

Just then, a certain memory caught Ezras’ eye.

It was his parents, long before he was even born.

They were in the middle of the chaos in the Enchanted Forest he heard about from his friends. His father was on the ground with an injured leg.

Just then, his mother sang out into the open air, in response to her voice, a powerful wind lifted them into the air and carried them out of harm's way.

There's a river, full of memory,”

Ezra smiled up at the memory. Just then, a familiar voice sang out from behind the boy.

Spinning on his heels, the boy was shocked when he saw an image of his parents, looking down happily at him.

“Come, my darling, homeward bound,”

Tears formed at the edge of the boy's eyes as a wide smile stretched across his face.

“I am found!”

“Show yourself! Step into the power!”

Suddenly, frost and ice began spreading across his body, constructing a new outfit as Ezra finally embraced who he was meant to be;

The Fifth Element; the Ice Spirit.

“Grow yourself! Into something new!”

Ezra faced his parents once more to see them beaming with happiness and pride.

“You are the one you've been waiting for,”

“All of my life!

All of your life!

“Oh, Show Yourself!”

#Star Wars Rebels Disney Au #Rebels/Disney One-Shots #Show Yourself #Frozen Au #Song Fic #Star Wars Rebels Au #Star Wars Rebels #Ezra Bridger #Kanan Jarrrus #Hera Syndulla #Garazeb Orrelios #Sabine Wren #Starting something new #bc i'm tired #enjoy!

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laurfilijames · 2 years ago

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Another wonderful chapter of an amazing story!! I am so loving this series and regret not having read this earlier. I needed an Anders fix today and knew this would cure me 🥰

Seriously the way you write Zeb is so on point I'm obsessed. Him getting all defensive that he would've looked after her anyway 💗

Your dialogue between any and all characters is always incredible and I adore the multi-character scenes so much!!

The thought of all the Johnson's working together to protect you and prevent an asshole like that from doing something so vile again is just so good.

I would've loved to see Anders punch him 🤤

"A friend." It seems so final. Ugh.

I totally feel for both of them, being confused and unsure where to go now.

Tyyyyyyy. Yes, he's the only one to see logic lol they're all completely missing the whole love point.

The whole exchange between Ty and Anders was so well done. Again, and I know I say this heaps but, you wrote it so perfectly it read like a scene in the show.

"I dunno, you think like a chick." 🤣🤣

Godddddd i love them.

Everything’s back to normal, he told himself, even as he kept constant contact with you.

😈 me grinning like an idiot. Yes, keep touching.

Whatever you were saying, he’d lit up, and Anders found himself smiling softly as he watched Axl duck down slightly to give you a hug.

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 YOURE IN LOVE ANDERS!!!!

He had ditched his jacket at some point, the top buttons of his collared shirt open and sleeves rolled up.

Ugh you kill me with these descriptions bb.

She pinched your chin.

“Don’t forget that. You are a powerful, beautiful goddess. And too kind for your own good.”

I love Michele being a good friend, or trying to be, and even more so for apologizing when she's wrong.

I adore it whenever you bring Ingrid around, I really just want to sit and chill with her, and I smile and feel so comforted whenever I read a scene with her in it!

Anders all high and buzzed and dopey and happy to know he's "bathed in love and good will" 😍😍😍

I really feel for reader though about the next night, I'd struggle with that so much and honestly don't think I could bear to watch it and be around it. Here's hoping they end up rooting each other in the bogs 🤞🤞🤞🤞

Pretend to Be Nice - 3 - Bathed in Love

For the @deanobingo 2023 event!

Prompts: Anders Johnson - Smoking

The Almighty Johnsons - Anders & female Reader 5098 words

Summary: You find out what Anders did to deal to the mortal who'd drugged you, and try to get back to normal as 'friends'. Anders tells himself that that's all you are, despite asking his brothers for insight into your previous conversations and being unable to stop touching you.

CW: Alcohol consumption, marijuana use, mention of hookups, mention of drugging. Angsty? Slow burn I guess? (This is a multi-part story.)

Part 1 here Part 2 here

You took a deep breath as you climbed the steps to the front door of Axl’s place. In the bright, warm light of the early afternoon, the house had a cheery, welcoming look, despite what had transpired the last time you were there.

You knocked on the door and chewed your lower lip as you waited for an answer.

“Oh hey!” Axl lit up when he saw it was you, then tilted his head, gesturing in confusion to the case of cold beer in your hand. “You brought piss?”

“Yeah, I- I was actually hoping to speak with Zeb. Is he in?” “Oh. Yeah, come in.”

Axl ushered you down the hall toward the living room, where Zeb was laying on the couch playing a video game.

“Zeb, you have a guest.”

“Oh- hi!” Zeb paused his game and scrambled to sit up.

“Hey. I just- wanted to thank you for looking after me the other day.” You put the case of beer down on the coffee table, then stood awkwardly beside it.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that. Y’know, I totally would have done it even without the Bragi orders. I’m always happy to help the aesir.”

“What?”

Axl sat down in the chair closest to where you were standing and looked up at you with mild discomfort. “When Zeb was tending to you, that was ‘cause Anders ordered him to.”

“But I would have!” Zeb repeated defensively. “Totally at your service.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I’m sorry, Zeb. He shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, it’s fine.” “I suppose the beer is more of an apology, then.” “I really don’t mind.”

You moved to sit on the couch opposite him. “I’m causing trouble everywhere I go these days.”

“What? Of course not.” Zeb pulled a beer out of the case, cracked it, and passed it to Axl, before offering the second one to you.

“Er- ta.”

“I’m really sorry Garrett did that,” Axl offered, his voice low with guilt. “I never thought he’d- well he said he hadn’t before, but-”

“Wait, you know who it was?”

Zeb’s brows raised. “Didn’t Anders tell you?”

“No…?” “We dealt with it.”

“Yeah,” Zeb enthused. “Mike and Anders came by to tell us what happened and get intel on the guests. Then Mike tracked down Garrett using his hunting powers.” Zeb’s eyes shone with awe. “Axl totally told him off, and Anders used his powers on him to make sure he didn’t do something like that again.”

“Oh.”

Axl shrugged. “It was.. sort of the least we could do.” Especially when I was the one who wanted you to come out.

“And the best part was-” “Zeb-” “-when Anders punched him! It was awesome!” “Zeb.”

Zeb looked between Axl and you, finally noting the way you’d gone still, staring at the table and trying not to cry, vision blurred.

You had been trying not to think too much about what could have happened, or why you were drugged in the first place, telling yourself that since you didn’t get hurt, it wasn’t a big deal. But knowing that they’d all gotten together to sort the guy out made it feel more real, somehow. Their insistence that he be stopped from doing it to someone else highlighted the luck you’d had this time in a way that made you feel ill.

You took a deep breath and focused on Zeb. “Anders what?”

Zeb grinned. “He punched Garrett in the face!” Axl shifted uncomfortably. “He was… pretty mad.”

You winced. “Well, I gave him a lot of trouble, it seems.”

“Really?” There was a laugh of incredulity in Axl’s voice.

“Yeah, I guess I was really out of it. Honestly, I don’t really remember.” You sipped at your beer. “But, uh… it’s nice, knowing you all had my back like that. So, ta.”

“I’m surprised Anders didn’t tell you.” “Yeah, usually he’s keen to brag when he does something good for once.”

“Maybe he’s had his fill of me,” you suggested lightly. “Nah. No way.” You were startled by how quickly and adamantly Axl denied the idea.

Zeb nodded to himself. “Probably just wanted to give you some space.”

“Yeah, I was kinda nervous to text you, if i’m honest,” Axl admitted. “Why?” “I thought… you might be cross with me? Since it was my mate, and my party…” “No. I know you’d never do something like that. Or approve of it, or what have you.”

You turned your gaze to Zeb, remembering how you’d immediately ruled out that he could have had a part in it.

Everyone’s always looking over me.

“Thanks again, eh?” “Of course, any time.”

Ty stepped into the lobby at JPR to find Anders sitting on the edge of the long table, sorting through various ad mockups as he rubbed at his chin.

“Hey.” Ty held out a black box with an envelope taped over the front. “Special delivery.”

“You’re giving me your package, bro?” Anders snickered as he took the box, surprised Ty wasn’t trying to get Dawn to sign for it.

“Sign here, dick.”

Anders did so, then nodded to Ty when he turned to leave. Dawn and Ty made eye contact, but he rushed out without another word.

Anders pulled the envelope off and chucked it on the table as he whistled at the label on the box.

“Now that’s a bottle of whiskey.”

He set to work opening the box to pull out the hefty bottle inside.

Dawn scooted over from her desk and swiped the envelope from the table. She opened it up to find a card that she read out loud.

“Anders, Your brother told me what you did. Thank you. You’re a good friend and a good man.”

Dawn snorted and looked at Anders incredulously.

Anders paused, looking past the bottle and into space as he realized this was a gift from you. Thanking me? ‘A good friend’, eh?

“Not signed,” Dawn noted. “Mm.” “So… Who’s it from?”

Anders plucked the card from her fingers and tucked it away. “A friend.”

She raised a brow, suspicion lacing her voice. “If they’re a friend, why not just bring it themselves? Why courier it to you at work?”

Anders frowned. It was a fair question, but he understood somehow. Your confession had put an unfamiliar wall between the two of you. Even he felt strange when he thought of calling you directly now. If you were really friends like you’d said, then he shouldn’t hesitate to treat you as he’d always done.

“There’s that nosiness again,” he chided her, instead of answering the question honestly.

“Well, the last time you had a mysterious friend couriering you things at the office, we ended up running Colin’s mayoral campaign.”

Anders snickered. “Fair cop.”

A few days later, Anders found himself standing in Ty’s living room, drinking beer with his brothers and grandfather.

“-and so we went our separate ways,” Olaf concluded, wrapping up a story about a former lover.

“You ghosted her, you mean,” Mike amended.

“No?” Olaf squinted at his eldest grandson. “She was quite alive.”

“Okay. So, hypothetically-” Anders shifted his weight and gestured. “A woman says she’s in love with you, but then refuses to sleep with you. What’s that about?”

“Virgin?” Olaf guessed.

Ty groaned.

“Or Christian,” Olaf amended, grimacing.

Anders shook his head. “Neither, I’d reckon.”

Olaf gestured, squinting. “Non-Christian vow of celibacy.”

Anders rolled his eyes. “She’s not a virgin, grandpa.”

“But she doesn’t want to root?” Axl snickered. “Isn’t that all you do?”

Everyone had a good laugh while Anders huffed. “What I’m saying is- why tell me if she’s not up for it? I mean, isn’t that the point?”

“Maybe she wants to feel loved in return?” Ty offered. Anders looked at him with confusion. “You know, not just a root, but a relationship? You do know what those entail, right-” “Okay, no need to be sanctimonious.”

“I think what Ty is saying, Anders-” Mike interrupted, putting his hand on Anders’s shoulder. “Is that maybe this woman has seen what you’re usually like with women?”

Anders tilted his head up, stroking his chin. “Charming, irresistible, desired-” “Dismissive, easily distracted, unloyal…”

“I’m saying-” Ty interrupted, knowing Mike’s harsh tone was going to irritate Anders. “Maybe she’s only interested in pursuing a serious relationship.”

“Bad luck falling for Anders, eh,” Axl quipped.

Anders narrowed his eyes as he looked between his brothers, not really disagreeing with them but unhappy about the situation all the same.

“Did your Bragi powers not work on this mystery woman?” Olaf asked suddenly, a teasing glint in his eye.

“I didn’t use them on her.” Anders shook out of Mike’s touch. “She dumped her feelings on me out of nowhere, and then announced that nothing would come of it. I hadn’t even considered it before.”

Axl laughed. “And now you want her ‘cause she rejected you?”

Ty grimaced, rolling his eyes. “Don’t take that as a challenge, Anders.”

“Ty’s right,” Mike agreed. “Best to let it go.”

“Maybe it was reverse psychology,” Axl suggested.

Anders hummed dismissively. “Doesn’t seem the type for that. But then why tell me at all?”

Olaf shrugged and pulled out a joint. “Women are the eternal mystery.”

“Aw, grandpa- Not in the house,” Ty complained.

Olaf tilted his head and gestured to convey his deference. “I will take it outside.”

Just then the doorbell rang, and several more guests arrived.

A short while later, Anders was helping Ty move beer into a chilly bin while everyone else was outside.

Anders paused, looking over at his brother with a guarded expression. “You’ve been in love before.”

“Yeah?” Ty pulled another case of beer out of the fridge and placed it on the counter.

“So, when someone says they’re in love with you, what does that- actually mean?”

Ty raised a brow and turned to Anders. He’d thought they’d finished with this topic, but clearly Anders was still bothered by this mystery woman’s confession.

“To- be in love?” “Well, how do you know?” Anders gestured with his hands. “Is it just- do you wanna root, or-?” “Oh.”

Ty licked his lips and contemplated it seriously. It wasn’t the sort of thing he usually discussed with Anders, but his brother was being surprisingly earnest, so Ty decided to respond honestly.

“Sure, yeah, that’s part of it. But it’s not only that. It’s like- Well, for me, anyhow, I just… Want to be around them, because that makes me happy. And I want them to be happy. Even if that means not being with me. It’s… caring about the other person enough to put their needs over your own, even when you really just want them to yourself.”

He met Anders’s contemplative gaze and shrugged. “Though I reckon it’s a bit different for everyone.”

Anders chewed his lip for a beat. “What about… a friend? That you also want to root?”

Ty hesitated, unsure how to respond. “Sure? That’s… similar? But there’s a difference between a friend and a partner. Being in love is more like a partner feeling than a friend feeling.”

“Like your friend Dawn?”

Ty scowled. “Like your friend Dawn?”

Anders frowned. “But I so don’t want to go there.”

“Good.”

Anders looked at Ty in annoyance. “But if I did, then that’s what being in love is like? A friend you want to shag?”

“No, it’s- It’s more complicated. Sure, maybe you want to- shag- but it’s more than that. It’s something you- you should just know, when you feel it.”

“Okay, so then what about the chick that told me she was in love with me?”

Ty shrugged, sighing as he realized that Anders really was stuck on the whole idea. “I have no idea.”

“Does she see me as a friend she wants to bone?” “How would I know that, Anders?” “I dunno, you think like a chick.” “Okay, very funny.” Ty rolled his eyes and got back to his task.

“But she said she was in love with me.” “Then she’s in love with you.” “But she also said nothing would come of it.” “Then- don’t worry about it.” “So why tell me?”

Ty sighed in exasperation. “You’d have to ask her, I reckon.”

Anders grimaced. Fat chance.

You laughed as Stacey and Olaf argued over her driving his car.

You were sitting in Ty’s backyard with them and Ingrid, passing a joint back and forth that Stacey was abstaining from.

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t drive high. Last time you hit like three rubbish bins.”

You stilled when Anders sat down next to you, so close you were touching, his thigh and arm pressing against yours.

You took a long drag of the joint, then offered it to him, feeling your pulse in your neck as you watched him casually puff at it before passing it to Ingrid.

The others continued the conversation, and after a moment, Anders turned to you. “Got your delivery.”

You met his gaze, unsure what he thought of it. “And?”

“It’s mint, but if you’re trying to get in my pants, I’m actually a cheap date-”

You let out a groan and rolled your eyes. “That wasn’t what I was-”

“I know.” He let out a humming giggle, chuffed to have gotten such a reaction from you. Even if part of him was confused why you didn’t want in his pants.

The joint made its way back to him and this time Anders blew the smoke out his nose while smirking at you.

You shook your head at him. “I was just trying to thank you.”

You took your toke and passed it off again.

“You didn’t have to thank me.” “No, I did. It could have been a lot worse than it was.” “But it wasn’t.” “Thanks to you.”

“Mm.” Anders put his hand on your knee and gave you a serious look. “I would never let someone hurt you if I could help it.”

On some level, you already knew that. Anders always protected the people close to him.

“Well, ta. You’re a good friend.” “And yet you don’t call, you don’t write.” His slightly teasing air was undercut by the genuine concern you read in his eyes.

“Well… After Michele’s,” you hedged, not wanting to directly reference your confession. “I thought maybe I should leave you alone. I didn’t want to annoy you.”

He flashed you a slightly stern look. “You never annoy me.”

“Bullshit.” “I annoy you, and then you laugh it off.”

He poked at your side until you elbowed him to stop, laughing despite yourself. “You’re such a dick.”

He smiled to himself as he took the joint back from Ingrid. You might have called him a dick, but the way you’d said it couldn’t possibly be interpreted as an insult, amused and affectionate.

You took another puff when he was done, then leaned over to hand it back to Olaf.

Anders joined in on the conversation the others were having, and as you did the same, you found yourself relaxing somewhat, falling back into the easy chemistry you’d always had. It felt nice to know with certainty that he wasn’t trying to avoid you. That he didn’t seem to think less of you for having been honest about your misguided feelings. That he was willing to be nice about it and pretend you’d never said so.

He turned to you as the conversation topic shifted to something he didn’t care about, lowering his voice. “Hey, come out with me and Axl tomorrow.”

You pursed your lips, contemplating it.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun.” He lowered his head and raised a brow. “You do still know how to have fun?”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled as you felt yourself won over by his playfulness. “Oh, fine.”

He tried to contain his grin as he took the joint back from Ingrid, quite pleased with himself.

Everything’s back to normal, he told himself, even as he kept constant contact with you.

Some time later, you and Anders were standing inside debating which of the clubs you should hit up the next night. There was a new one you hadn’t been to before that you were suggesting, but Anders wanted to go to his favourite spot, knowing he’d get lucky there.

He was making his case, leaning in toward you as you found yourself glancing at his lips a little too often. Standing this close, you basked in having his undivided attention, the smell of alcohol on his breath not enough to overpower the lingering notes of cologne on his warm neck.

“We already know the layout, and the bar always runs us a tab. Plus they have those fruity shots you like.”

“-Is he bothering you?”

Michele’s voice startled you out of the spell you were under in Anders’s presence, suddenly making you aware of your surroundings again.

You shrugged and smiled at her, signaling that everything was fine. “No, we were just making plans to continue the Frigg hunt.”

Michele winced, knowing exactly what sort of Frigg hunts you ended up on with Anders and Axl. “More like planning another night of filthy shags in the bog.”

Anders grinned, expression caught between offense and amusement. “I thought it was Ty making things cold in here, but I see it was just your usual warm personality.”

Michele laughed. “Because you’re known for your congeniality?”

“Most women find me quite charming, actually.” “Mortals. Using your powers to trick people into overlooking your being a prick isn’t exactly saintly behaviour.” “I’m not a saint, Michele, I’m a god.”

You rolled your eyes, not interested in listening to the two of them bicker, even as they continued to do so.

It hadn’t been as bothersome before, but now that Michele knew about your feelings for Anders, it seemed more like she was purposely putting him down in front of you, and you hated it. Almost as much as you hated thinking about Anders rooting around Auckland. He can do whatever he wants, you tried to remind yourself. He’s a grown man, and not mine.

You listened to them spar a few more seconds, then decided you’d had enough. “Fucks’s sake,” you muttered as you walked off.

Anders turned his head to watch you, unsure why you’d gotten fed up. Usually you’d jump in to defend him, or at the very least change the topic. It was you he’d been wanting to talk with, but Michele seemed to be extra pointy with him these days and he could never stop himself from sniping back.

Michele caught the confusion in Anders’s expression before he forced his usual aloof air again to turn his attention back to her. She made eye contact with him long enough to sneer as she started walking away herself to find Mike.

Anders gestured in mild offense and confusion at having you both just walk away from him mid-conversation. And they call me rude.

He shook his head and looked over to see that you had instead struck up a conversation with Axl, who was towering over you with a chuffed expression. Whatever you were saying, he’d lit up, and Anders found himself smiling softly as he watched Axl duck down slightly to give you a hug.

A moment later he approached you both with three open bottles of beer.

“M’lord,” he greeted Axl, offering him one. Axl snorted as he took it.

Anders turned to you with confidence, and you caught him giving you a lookover before turning on the charm. “Goddess,” he purred, holding out another bottle.

You hesitated, caught in the blue of his eyes even as you reminded yourself that you weren’t going to take open drinks from men anymore. But it was Anders. “Ta.”

He sucked on his lower lip briefly as he watched you take a sip, then turned to Axl. “Band’s back together.” “Right! She was just saying we’re all going tomorrow.” “Should be fun,” you said with forced enthusiasm.

In truth, you weren’t really convinced. It was difficult to say no to Anders, and Axl had looked over-the-moon when you’d told him, but you knew the reality of watching Anders try it on with women all night was going to make you sick.

Anders caught the lie in your tone, and assumed you were worried about a repeat of Garrett’s actions.

He placed his hand on your back, voice soft. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.” He tilted his head toward you. “Always.”

“I’m fine, really. You needn’t worry.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, unconvinced.

You lightly batted at his chest with your free hand. “I mean it. Don’t be weird.”

He raised his brow in mock offense - lips curling up betraying his amusement and relief that you did seem to be alright - and his hand slid up your back to squeeze your shoulder. “It’s weird to watch over my friend now? You wound me.”

You smiled and looked up at Axl. “The focus is meant to be on finding the Frigg.”

Axl nodded. “Several dozen women down, several million to go.” “That’s the spirit.” “D’you think we could bring Zeb?” Axl suggested.

“Oh, sure-” you started to answer. “Absolutely not.” Anders scowled. “Three gods together, that’s something the Frigg might take notice of. You and your weird flattie? Not the right look.”

“Don’t call him weird,” you complained softly.

Axl scowled. “Hey, Zeb’s a good mate.”

“Irrelevant. A Frigg-magnet he is not.” “Well- I don’t want the Frigg to be into him anyway-” “He brings down the whole vibe.”

“Anders,” you chided. “That’s not nice.” “I’m not trying to be nice, I’m trying to be a god.” He gestured at you with his beer. “You just want him there because he’s got a crush on you.” “What?”

“I saw how chuffed he was to have you in his lap that night. Not that I blame him- You’re probably the hottest chick who’s ever said more than three words to him-” “Don’t be a prick, Anders,” Axl interjected. “Zeb’s really sweet. You shouldn’t say those things.” “Why not? They’re true.” “Because I like Zeb.”

Anders’s fingers pressed into your shoulder slightly where he was still holding on to you. “Oh, is that what you go for now? Spindly mortals who’ll follow you around making moon eyes?”

You’d caught the mild offense lacing his mocking tone, but couldn’t help but feel like he was making fun of you. You looked down at your beer. What I ‘go for’ hasn’t changed at all.

“I’ve just had a gutful of hearing shit-talk about people I care for, that’s all.”

Before Anders could crack a joke about you caring about Axl’s flattie, Axl gestured. “Yeah, stop talking about him like that. He’s my best mate.”

Anders raised his brows and ran his tongue over his teeth, seeing he was clearly outnumbered on the issue, despite not thinking it was all that deep.

He was quiet for a beat, then, hoping their offense had subsided, piped up. “That aside, my point remains.”

“Fine, I get it. Just gods.” “And one goddess.”

Anders squeezed your shoulder, shaking it somewhat until you met his gaze again. When you did, he flashed you a smile that you couldn’t help but begrudgingly return.

“Yeah, yeah.”

The rest of the night passed in relative ease, drinking and laughing with the other gods and goddesses.

Whenever Anders was around, he was on you; sitting or standing so close you were pressed against each other, his hands finding reasons to touch you. It wasn’t completely abnormal for him, but it was more than you were used to, and you told yourself not to read anything into it despite your feelings.

If anything, most people would be hands-off after an undesired confession like that, but you wondered if he was trying to reassure you that it was fine. He’d seemed so relieved that you still wanted to be friends when you’d left his flat that day, after all.

The sun had long set when you were sitting on the couch in the living room, Anders on the floor in front of you, his shoulder against your bare leg. He had ditched his jacket at some point, the top buttons of his collared shirt open and sleeves rolled up. Ingrid was sitting across from him, getting ready to do a tarot card reading for him.

Anders had always thought it was bullshit, but a bit drunk and a bit high, he was open to anything entertaining at this point.

Ingrid pulled a few stones from her pocket and rubbed them against each other, but after a moment she frowned. She looked up to you hopefully. “Do you still have that amethyst I gave you?”

“Oh-” You dug around in the pocket of your shorts while Anders turned to look at you with surprise as you produced a smooth purple stone from it. You’d been carrying it around ever since, but if she needed it back, you were more than happy to oblige. “Here.” “Thank you, dear.”

Anders grinned to himself as he stared at your chest, getting a great view as you leaned over to hand it to Ingrid, but had the sense to turn his attention back to Ingrid before you would notice.

“Yes, that’s much better,” Ingrid murmured, waving the stones around in front of her, eyes shut.

Anders watched her in great amusement, excited to see what was going to come of all the woowoo hippie posturing. Was she going to tell him how many hot chicks he was going to bed that week? What sort of client the next big campaign JPR landed would be?

Michele walked over, tilting her head at you. “Can we talk privately for a mo’?”

She turned her attention to Anders as you nodded your assent. “That’s a good spot for you. On the floor, like a dog.”

Anders grabbed one of your bare legs and ducked under it, hugging your calves against his chest on each side of his head. “I’m quite comfortable between a woman’s legs, actually. As I recall, so are you, eh, Michele?”

You shoved Anders’s head with both hands, making him laugh as he let go to fall away from you. You scrambled to your feet, shaking your head at him as you followed Michele away from the living room.

Standing just inside Ty’s bedroom, Michele gave you a worried lookover.

“I just wanted to see how you were, with the Bragi situation.”

You shrugged defensively. “What do you mean?”

“You avoided us for a while, and now you’re all over him again.” “I am not.” “No, you’re right; he’s all over you. Like grabbing at your legs just now? But what’s worse is you’re letting him.”

“What am I supposed to do?” You hugged yourself defensively. “It’s never been an issue before, so I can’t just get cross with him out of nowhere.”

“You can, actually. Just tell him you don’t want his perverted little hands all over you.” “Right, except that I actually do, and he doesn’t mean anything by-” “Ah! That!” She pointed her finger at you accusingly. “You’re letting him get away with it because of your feelings for him.” “And I don’t mind.” “You should mind. He’s a wanker.” “Could you stop?” “No, not until you come to your senses. He is a lying, conniving little pervert who-”

“Stop it! You know I care about him, so just-” You took a step back, gesturing. “You can think whatever awful things you want, but I don’t want to hear it. You’re as bad as he is.”

You turned to leave, but stopped when she reached out to touch your forearm.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed heavily. “I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all.”

Too late for that.

You debated telling Michele that you’d already confessed, and that nothing had come of it, but you worried that would only make her hate Anders more. He didn’t owe you anything, and the idea of her harassing him over it was even more pathetic than the rejection itself. Wanting to protect Anders, you decided to continue keeping that confession a secret, just as he seemed to be doing.

“She’ll be right,” you said finally, defeated. “He’s just handsy with friends. I’m not an idiot. I know he doesn’t want me that way. ”

Michele’s shoulders eased, expression softening as she realized it was already too late to protect you from being hurt by the situation.

“That’s because he’s an idiot. Any man in Midgard would be lucky to have you on his arm.” She pinched your chin. “Don’t forget that. You are a powerful, beautiful goddess. And too kind for your own good.”

She let go of you and sighed, looking away. “And since you’re my friend, I’ll try to go easy on that wanker when you’re around.”

“Thank you, Michele.”

You stepped forward to hug her, and she tensed up, fighting her instinct to push you off.

“Yeah, no worries,” she managed between gritted teeth.

Back in the living room, Ingrid was softly clapping her hands together as she examined the cards that she’d spread out on the floor before Anders.

“Well, this is a very auspicious reading! How lovely.”

Anders wasn’t sure what to make of any of the strange images on the cards himself. “Oh?”

“Yes, a time of great social well-being. Basking in the warmth of those closest to you. Good time for getting along with family and friends.”

“You saying I’ll make heaps of new friends?” He smirked as he imagined a pile of blondes joining him in his bed. Maybe our night out will be even more fun.

She hummed. “No, more like… the ones you already have will be extra kind to you. Those closest to you.”

Your face came to his mind first. Then his brothers and grandfather. Then Dawn.

He tried to think if anyone had been particularly kind to him of late. Well, they hadn’t been as unkind as usual, at least.

She looked up at him and gestured around his head, running her hands through his auric field. “Bathed in love and good will. How nice.”

“As I should be.” Ingrid let out a small laugh. “Yes, quite right.”

Anders snickered to himself and finished off the rest of the beer he’d been nursing before leaning back against the couch, wondering where you’d gone off to with Michele, but too munted and pleasantly tired to get up to find you.

Bathed in love… Whatever the fuck that means.

---

A/N: This chapter originally was supposed to be mostly their night out... but ballooned into this... so please look forward to next time, haha.

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