#( i'll have you know my laptop died right after i wrote this )

[calbeloved]

Trick or Treat!!!!

I'm going to ask about my guy Johnny, but knowing that's unlikely Arthur is the backup <3

hiiii factorial :333 just for you a little thing about johnny i wrote specifically for this AND a wip of an arthur pov from a Thing (that i haven't worked on for. a long time now. it's also an au. obviously.) i hope i did johnny justice shsh he's such a guy i adore him

---

In retrospect, maybe working for the Order did give him something good. No matter how it came along… a reason to live; some task he has to do before he dies is what he was looking for.

…technically. Relatively.

It… maybe was?

But in his defense, there really isn't a lot an orphan with nothing to his name can do after being kicked out of a place he once called home on the day of his 18th birthday.

Johnny was good in the Order. Not perfect (oh, he was far from that) and not the best and a lot of times more of a burden and an annoyance than not, but… He did his job. He saved some people. Pushed some civilians out of harm's way.

He just wasn't good enough. He understands that. He knows that was always how it was going to end. Too much blood on his hands, too much stupid things he said without thinking, too much impulsive decisions, too little work done correctly.

He's just surprised they only moved him to do undercover work.

He should be dead. Or fired. Or… whatever the Order does with their ex employees.

Instead, he's sitting in an apartment (a nice, warm place without any mold- maybe it shouldn't be as surprising as it is, but Johnny still dreams of a room too small, filled to the brim with little kids sleeping all around him; so overwhelmingly hot yet so cold, with the cold breezes of wind coming in from windows that could never truly close) on a bed, in a room that's his.

It's still weird to think about. Naluti is still cooped up in his own room (two whole rooms are inside the apartment!); even when Johnny was cooking dinner, he didn't come out. Just murmured something from behind his door that Johnny took as a “I'll make my own food later".

That's whatever. It's not like he cares about the guy. They just have to work together. Just like he did before with every other person in the Order.

…and yet.

On the laptop open in front of him is a tutorial on how to make a flamingo in origami. Around him are countless other origamis; unfinished works that he deemed unsalvageable and paper cranes and butterflies and fortune tellers…

Is it embarrassing? He doesn't know. It probably is.

His hands shake and he knows… Ruben? his housemate doesn't like it when he keeps his hands occupied with a gun, and all online articles say to do something repetitive and calming and how hard folding paper can really be?

…it is a little bit.

Most of the papers around him are not in his hands because he messed up with them.

But he'll be damned if this flamingo doesn't come out perfect. He's been rewatching the tutorial for hours and the pink scraps of paper on the floor are telling just how long he's been on it.

…maybe he could give it to Rubens (Natuli /Rubens,/ that's the name, he /knew/ he could remember it) when he's done. No point keeping all of this to himself, right?

---

^ (inspired by me getting into origami again... id like to think he'd enjoy it and maybe do some with rubens when they'd get closer.... they're just sooo)

----

and have a littleee piece of the wip of arthur now; it's an au where gal is imprisoned in the order but shrinks into a child instead (simply because i like time stuff) and one of the things im very 💥💥💥💥 about

---

There's now a commotion behind him- someone screams something, someone runs out of the room, someone does something, someone, someone…

Arthur does not pay attention to it. He drops to the ground and with wide eyes (where, where, where-) looks.

…Under the bed is a child. It's a small child, chest heaving with sobs while trying to make themselves as tiny as possible. They're bleeding, covered in bruises, and-

Oh God.

And then- hands on Arthur's shoulders, pulling him away; screaming again, so much screaming-

There is a child on the floor, crying and trying to hide away, they're hurt and- he needs to help, why are people pulling him away, this isn't right, this isn't-

“Stop! Stop, stop, wait-!” He screams- sees the child flinch, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, just wait-

It's Dante. Of course it's Dante. Gray hands dig into his skin, dragging him up and away- “Arthur! What's going on?!”

But he cannot answer, he can't- this kid needs him, why are they hurt, why are they here-

Somewhere further away, someone shouts. “Where is he?!”

Footsteps on the floor; running… That's Joui, Arthur knows Joui…

And there's a gun- there's a lot of guns, a lot of weapons-

“Stop! Just stop! Be quiet!”

They do- at least enough for Arthur to think, even through the fast breathing (just Dante, he can always recognise Dante…) in his ear.

He shrugs out of Dante's grip, crouches down again, ignores Joui- he's so angry, so, so angry again…

“Hey, hi,” he half whispers, half saps out. Kids. He knows how to deal with kids. Kids are easy. “I'm sorry, everyone here is very loud, huh? You're okay, nobody is going to hurt you…”

The kid looks at him; teary eyes, bloody nose, biting their hand to keep quiet…

Joui crouches down next to him. He takes in the sight and glances at Arthur with wide eyes. “Arthur.”

There's something that he's supposed to get from that tone. He knows that. But… there's a kid, how can he focus on anything else?

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

tips for editing novels i wrote instead of editing

these are mainly targeted to people who find it hard to focus on editing (like yours truly) but really helps for anyone.

work section by section. i started doing this and it wasn't working because i kept reading on to the section after instead of focusing on editing the one section so what i did is copy paste the section (each should be no more than like 1000 words) onto another document and work on it there. read it over and over again until it sounds the way you want it to sound that copy paste it onto the other document and move on to the next section.

sit somewhere quiet. absolutely quiet.

no music.

turn off the wifi on your phone and on your laptop.

to get the emotion right in a scene, listen to music that embodies it. can't catch me now (olivia rodrigo) and east of eden (zella day) are what i'm listening to right now. of course, i can't write and listen to music at the same time because that's the kind of person i am but before you start writing, listen to the music and really get in the feels because emotion is what drives a story forward more than plot

i actually saw an author say this, i can't remember who, but it's good to have a song that evokes emotion so you can write the emotion properly

THESAURUSES. lifesavers. i can't come up with the perfect word to describe something because i have poor memory but the thesaurus always remembers (am i even spelling it right?)

drink water. (now. stand up. if you don't istg i'll find you.)

change the cliches. don't say it was a dark and stormy night. say it was a starless night that smothered even the smallest lamp lit in the little window of a small store at the edge of the abandoned town.

don't tell me what happened, tell me how it felt. it was not cold. her nose stung and her fingernails turned blue, she stamped her feet to keep warm, she shivered despite herself, her teeth chattering.

i think the trick is to search for every time you used the word 'was' and change it to a feeling

read aloud. do impressions. make your annoying character sound like your social studies teacher from 11th grade. have fun with it. just make sure the dialogue doesn't sound stiff and make sure the sentences flow well.

as a rule, shorter sentences flow better and are easier to understand

add more internal monologue, have your character try to reason things in their heads, don't have them just observe what's happening.

this is something i struggle with but if you have a mystery with a grand reveal in the end, keep track of what your readers know and don't know. reveal tiny clues that only fit when you finally see the full picture. be as evil with it as you want.

for motivation, reread your favorite scene (mine is the mc and love interest being adorable)

also, imagine the book being published. who would you dedicate it to? how many people would make tumblr posts analyzing it, how many people would make memes, who would the fandom ship?

finally, unrelated to editing, but if you must kill off characters, don't do it just because you want something dramatic and you need the plot to move forward, only do it for two reasons:

a) it completes the character's arc (i.e. they were afraid of death but when someone they truly loved was in danger they jumped in front of a bullet to save them)

b) they're going to come back to life later as a metaphor for phoenixes rising or something

personally, my favorite thing to do is to leave the death ambiguous. no one will know if the character really died or not (not even me)

[thatonebirdwrites]

6 & 15 :)

6. Show us a bit of a WIP! The Rojarias fic:

“What do you read?” Sam pulled up the LIDAR program and keyed a command to send to the drone. She needed a few test runs before she plugged in trajectories for the drones to focus upon. Lena had drilled that into her. Best to find mechanical issues before the arduous mapping project started. A fault like that could ruin a scan easily.

Andrea shrugged with one shoulder and settled in the dirt next to Sam's makeshift desk. A waft of her fruity perfume drifted between them.

“Likely far beyond your reading level.” When Sam shot her a glare, Andrea smirked. “Archeology and biographies. What did you think I read?”

“I don’t know, historical romance?” Sam said, her nose wrinkled in irrritation. “Or the Great Gasby or something.”

“Boring.” Andrea flicked her fingers. “Prefer a good shooter to that.”

“What do you have against romance?” Sam didn’t mind reading it. If she was honest, she was a bit of a romantic herself. Dreaming of meeting her soulmate, where they’d live happily ever after. She'd written many a poem about it, ones that will never see the light of day.

“Fools fall in love,” Andrea said with a disdainful sniff. “And the pointless tropes. A dog could write better fiction.”

Sam turned back to her drone and keyed in another command. It flew higher and began to move along Sam’s ordered trajectories. How could someone dislike romance? Sam thought of Lena and how she fell in love with Kara. Lena definitely wasn't a fool, but it didn't seem worth contesting Andrea's wild claim.

“I happen to like all sorts of books,” Sam said as calmly as she could. “Even romance. Love, unlike most emotions, requires work to keep it alive and healthy. Sharing that tale? Dwelling in such vulnerability? That's gorgeous." Sam smiled as she thought of what it'd be like to have that bond with someone. "Everyone has a story, you know? And that’s beautiful in a way.”

Andrea stared at her for a long moment.

Sam kept her gaze on her laptop, though she did check her periphery when the seconds changed to minutes. Seemed her tactic was working. Killing her with kindness.

“What are we looking at?” she said finally, while gesturing to Sam’s work.

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

I suppose it has after decades. When I wrote my first novels in high school, my prose was riddled with adverbs and far too much purple prose. I was pulling a Tolkien, but my descriptions didn't hold enough of the five senses.

I learned that trick when I was in college. It was the one good thing I got out of the creative writing course I took. Though I never continued in the writing program at my university because they had a vendetta against science fiction, and that was literally all I wrote (well, I did dabble in pure fantasy sometimes).

So then I found some writing communities online (one I remember fondly was LookingGlass, but after it died in 2009, I found Legendfire, and the admins/mods there became my chosen family. We still game together every Thursday). They taught me how to properly critique a work, but with kindness and encouragement while digging into the meat of it. This helped me better understand how to edit my own works. I suspect that also influenced my style.

So although I still write novels -- my Korrasami fanfiction is over a million words spread out over several "books" and my Supercorp fanfic is already past 200,000 words -- I have found a better way to immerse the reader. Engaging all the senses when appropriate, digging into specific POVs, being consistent on whose POVs I detail, and doing intense research became more my approach.

That's filtered into my style I think. I've had people say they are impressed with my immersion and world-building, which is a lovely compliment and makes me feel like I'm on the right track.

Perhaps someday my original fiction will be published, but until then, I'll keep experimenting and growing through the fanfiction I write.

Thanks for asking! :D

[feyjisung]

so, what do you think? in another, simpler life, could we be real friends?

it’d be a lie if jisung had never thought of this question before, he spent a lot of time around jaeyong and there are moments when he would forget what the older was—what he was, for a peaceful moment in time. jisung always longed for the past. it wasn’t perfect, there are still hardships that he had to go through, but everything made sense. just another human, trying to survive living, without having to worry about the full moon or hunters who want to do more than kill.

a simpler life, where he doesn’t need to raise his guards up so high around jaeyong whenever they’re in the same room, where he can talk to jaeyong naturally, without having to pick out every word and figuring out whether he’d be setting himself up or not. it doesn’t feel real, feeding a delusion that will only hurt him in the long run. but no matter what jaeyong is, human or hunter, jisung had been genuine when he found the older cool, strumming his guitar among a crowd of fans as he did way back then.

he still does now, as exuberant and rowdy as jaeyong can be. the complete opposite of who jisung is, encouraging the bloom of what could have been an unlikely friendship.

it’s nice.

“i don’t know.” it’s not a world he wants to dwell on for too long, seeming too good to be true—maybe a little boring to some, but it’d be like salvation to jisung. there are too many wrongs that he wants to correct in that other world, too many possibilities that he couldn’t explore in this one. but in a world where the both of them are edgy band kids with a contrasting dynamic—could they have been friends?

the answer isn’t difficult to come by. “i’d like us to be,” jisung says, a sigh he wasn’t aware he was holding leaving him. there’s no use fantasising, such a dream will never come true in this lifetime. he’s the one pulling himself away from jaeyong, putting up a wall of defence because if he were to die, he wants to be the one to choose how it’ll happen—not have jaeyong, a hunter, decide for him. still, he’s not happy about it. at the end of the day, jaeyong is a valuable member of his band, someone he would have liked to befriend, if he could. 

“after all... i don’t hate you,” jisung adds, his voice a little softer this time. “not even in this life.”

mentioned: @feyjaeyong

[enchanted-sorcery]

Wash the Memories Away

fandom: marvel (mcu)

pairing: peter parker x gn!reader

warning(s): NO WAY HOME SPOILERS!!, angst (?)

word count: 0.7k words

date of post: december 25, 2021

author's note: HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND (for those who celebrate) MERRY CHRISTMAS :D!! i watched spiderman: no way home a few days ago and- i can't. i can't. this fic is my response to the movie. i was in tears by the time the post credit scenes played. if you read, i'm just going to say- we suffer together. also my laptop charger broke so i wrote this on my phone 😭.

masterlist

you never really liked the rain.

it had been raining when you got the call. the day was supposed to be one of much deserved relaxation, doing nothing but having take-out in your pajamas and watching shows on streaming sites. college was a bitch, and it was finally the beginning of break. then, your phone rang on the coffee table. seeing the number coming from your hometown, you decided it wouldn't hurt to answer it.

maybe you shouldn't have.

"it's with deepest regret that maybelle parker was found deceased in the early hours of the morning. she had succumbed to injuries after an explosion. i'm so sorry for your loss."

you heard something fall to the floor, most likely your phone, but you were in too much shock to care. the next thing you knew, you were on the next flight out to new york.

"how did you know her?"

"through spiderman."

you felt like you were intruding something as you walked to your aunt's grave. you knew you shouldn't have, as you had every right to be there. she's your family. the only family member you had left after your parents and uncle ben died.

well, she was the only one you had left, anyways.

the tears weren't noticed until a breeze had passed, nibbling on your skin. you quickly wiped them away with your free hand, the other tightly gripping the bouquet of flowers you bought. you moved closer to where your aunt rested, not paying much attention to the two also present as you set the bouquet down.

the older of the two looked at you, asking you the same question you heard him as earlier.

"she was my aunt. well, technically adopted but-" you shook your head and smiled sadly before returning the question.

"we were briefly seeing each other before, you know…"

"oh, so you're happy?" you remembered may mentioning a new boyfriend once while you two were talking over the phone once.

happy nodded.

you then turned to the other person there. he was younger, around your own age. he had his hood up, so you couldn't make out much.

it was a few more minutes before the stranger turned to walk away. you couldn't help but watch him go, seeing the awkward shift he made as he seemingly pondered the idea of staying. despite not speaking, he seemed so familiar, but you couldn't place your finger on it.

why did he remind you so much of someone?

not being able to answer this bothered you. it didn't leave your head, even after you left the graveyard with happy and eventually for your apartment. unlocking the door, you heard something drop in the halls. out of curiosity, you looked over- only to see the stranger from before, a box on the floor in front of him.

"is everything okay?" you asked.

the young man nodded.

there was a more or less awkward moment of silence between the two of you. after who knows how long, the brunet spoke.

"i'm peter," he introduced himself. "sorry for not saying anything earlier at the- anyways, just moved in-" the stranger, peter, paused, looking in the direction you had come from. "right across from you." a faint smile appeared on his face. he held out his hand.

it took you a moment before you realized his actions were initiating a handshake. you stated your name as you took his hand.

you thought you felt peter tense, but he had relaxed his muscles too fast for you to confirm it.

"guess i'll see you around, peter."

over the weeks, you noted a few things about this peter person. he was a bit nerdy, shy, quiet. he was a big fan of the science-fiction genre, often making references towards it. but what really stood out was the fact that there was always a look of what you could only describe as pain and guilt when the two of you talked.

you thought that seeing peter often meant you'd be able to hopefully find out who he reminded you of. for reasons unknown, he reminded you of aunt may. his smile mirrored hers, and they both fidgeted with whatever was in their hands when they were thinking. but no, it couldn't be her peter reminded you of. but other than may, you couldn't think of anyone similar to your neighbor. the mystery bothered you- sometimes even going as far as keeping you up at night, your only company being the rain dropping onto your windowsill.

you never really liked the rain.

[isabellehemlock]

hi Kat! going to be greedy here: 🛠, 🤗, and 🧠 for Nile, if you would be so kind

Hi Bee! Thanks for the ask 🤩

🛠 What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

Google docs all the way!  Love organizing everything - some of my fics have gotten the full treatment with color coded folders and everything lol.  And honestly I love being able to quickly check something or add a note if something popped in my head between devices - very useful when I'm in between appointments.  But it never served me better than when my laptop finally died - just booted up the new one, signed in online, and there was everything :)

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Oh good one!  Let's see, I'll likely sound like a broken record but my first bit would be, "don't do it for popularity."  And don't do it for friendship either (AO3 is not a social app, so if you're looking for community, there's other avenues to explore for that - plus far less time consuming ways to make friends online lol).  Honestly some of the people I have talked to the most online in fandom spaces have never read one of my stories, and I've never thought anything about it, because hey, I wrote my stories for myself.  And seriously, when you do it for yourself, then whatever comes after is just a wonderful bonus.  But yeah, give yourself some self examination time to ask: why do I want to write?

As for the "What should I write" aspect that tends to follow right after deciding to write, my advice is the same one I read years ago that has shaped my own decision making process when I encounter my WIP folders: "write what you would have loved to have read as a teen."  Because it'll either be a healing thing to see a message that you would have wished you had growing up.  Or, it will be a joyful, fun thing, that simultaneously serves as play therapy.  Either way, it can then become a truly healing experience (at least it has for me), and for all you know, the very thing that brought healing and/or joy to you, might just do the same for someone else. 

And don't sweat the stats too much, it's natural to want to validate hard work and see numbers that reflect it - but when it comes to fic, the story will find who it's meant to at some point.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them - for Nile

Oh!  For Nile, my favorite fanon is that she'll remain Christian, bond with Nicky over their faiths (have I written this? Yupppp).  But also, she'll bond with Joe over all the art things :)  With Andy, she'll bond over fighting lol, and with Booker, I ship the same as most people in that she'll be the one texting him the most just to casually check in.

Of course that's all post canon, when it comes to her character and backstory, I identify so much with her character - both as a Christian, military brat and though my father has not passed, became a wounded vet when I was 17.  It's not something I'd share the details about or expand on in this fandom in a public way (both for my privacy and for his), but I have all sorts of feelings about her that I don't mind discussing in private, just from that aspect of a daughter of a soldier :)

Thanks for the ask love ❤️

[lilacwineandthesinkingsun]

Always feels like Summer

AN. - I really want to take this slow. When / If giving feedback please note that i wrote this to deal with my problems in my life. This writing doesn't made with the purpose of entertaining, i just simply post it on here. However i welcome any HUMANLY told feedback. If you do not like it, or you couldn't say what you want to say without being hurtful, then please just scroll past this. Nor me, nor you would benefit from attacking anyone. I do not consider myself as a snowflake, but words have weight, and i will not tolerate attacking my integrity or anything just for the sake of it. Just so you can hurt somebody.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Pairing: none yet but we'll see

Warnings: cheating, family issues, drinking, language

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Summary: You are starting it over, from zero. New city, new apartment, new neighbours. You moved across the ocean just to get away, to be able to get a real clean start. Will your past let you leave though?

If someone would've said to me 3 months ago that i will move to America all alone, just leave everything behind and rent a small apartment all to my own, i would've died from laughing. I had the (for the outside looker) picture perfect life. Big villa, handsome fiancé, financially all sorted since i had my own business, while he was a hotel mogul. Perfect life, perfectly planted all over social media, until that one night. That one faithful night when i decided to surprise him on our 3rd anniversary. With a bottle of champagne i opened the door to his office, thinking his secretary is already on her way home, all finished for the day.. Well turns out she really likes to put in "the extra mile" when it comes to her work. The bottle fell from my hand, alerting them of my presence. I should've been screaming, tearing her and him apart, but somehow i didn't want to do any of that. I took off the massive diamond ring with a straight, emotionless face, walked to his desk where i placed it, turning our engagement photo face down, then left. I have memories of him talking to me, begging, then shouting, but it is all just white noise. I dodged a bullet there.

Truth be told i don't think anything ever hurt like that night before or did it actually hurt at all?.. I couldn't cry. After all i know that i will never be enough, i knew that i'll never be pretty or smart or succesful enough. I am not someone that is loveable. No matter the little acts of love, no matter the sacrifices, I will never be enough. Not just for him, i know my family would still take his side as well. Telling me things like let the man have his fun... he might not be faithful in bed, but you're the one he'll marry. Yeah right, i scoffed while driving to the airport.

I am a well-known webdesigner, i even published books on the subject, held classes in colleges, gave interviews encouraging women to build their own career.. I am sure i'll manage elsewhere. I bought a one way ticket to the first plane to Boston. I had 2 hours until my flight, so i spent that with getting a small apartment in a seemingly quiet area... I honestly never thought i'll ever move out of Sweden. I left everything behind, literally only having my purse and my laptop, and the neccessities.

Finally it was time to board the plane.. Great i will now be smashed to the window the whole flight since i happened to get the only ticket left...next to this huge hunk of a man. I have to admit at any other time i would've been glad to sit next to a handsome, bulky stranger but right now it was the least of what i wanted. I excused myself and put on the eyemask they provided.

The next thing i remember is a smooth but strong hand gently shaking me, a sweet voice telling me to wake up.

-C-Curt? - i mutter, still half asleep.

-I'll have to disappoint you ma'am but it's just me. - he said with a kind smile. - We have arrived in Boston.

I sat up straight looking out the window.

-Well i guess i was really tired. Thank you for waking me up. - I tried my best to offer him a smile, but of course i couldn't not fake it. He scratched the back of his head then got up, letting me out.

-Ma'am! Do you not have luggage? - he asked not understanding why did i start to leave the plane without any kind of suitcase.

-No, i don't - I say, then leave.

I was one of the few people who couldn't get a taxi, or at least for the next hour, so i got a coffee and sat down at a bench just outside the airport. It was rather windy, but sunny day regardless. The rays of the morning sun caressed my face in the light wind. This was the first when i really believed i could do it. I could start it all over. On my own.

Just moments later a car stopped right before me. That man again, from the plane. I looked at him questioningly and tilted my head to the side. He rolled down his window and smiled at me.

-There's a storm coming, there won't be any more taxis here for the next few hours. Where are you headed ma'am? I'm sure i'm able to take you some of the way, if not all.

I stood up, walked over to his car, bending down to the window to be able to talk to him.

-Let's just quit the ma'am thing, i'm not anywhere near that old, and i don't think a day this sunny will end in a storm, but i'll take you up on the offer.

He gave me that damn 2000 watt smile, while opening the door for me to get in.

I fasten my seatbelt, then nod at him.

-So where are you headed? - he asks.

-Hmm, let me look it up. - you said as you opened the email to search for your new address. You put it in the gps and show him. -There.. I'm heading there. It is okay if you cannot take me all the way, i don't wanna mess up your schedule. I'm sure you have places to be.- i said with a small and somehow sad smile.

He nods then gives me my phone back.

-Do you not need the navigation? - i giggle.

-No, i know the area pretty well.

-Oh, i see, is it... like... safe?

-Yes it's a nice neighbourhood. More like a little town of it's own, except it's kind of in the middle of Boston. Everybody knows everybody there. Are you visiting?

-No.. i.. i'm moving there actually.

-Oh so you're the one Sarah talked about.

-I'm guessing you live there too?! - i asked while looking out the window, taking in my new surroundings.

-Yes, i do, matter of fact that - he says as he points at my phone - that makes you my brand new neighbour.

-Such a small world... - i mutter under my nose, hope he doesn't hear it.

He somehow knows he shouldn't pry into the why's of the lack of luggage, and the reason of my move. He let's me adjust to the car, to his presence, and to the new surroundings. An hour later he stops before a nice looking apartment complex.

-This is our stop. - He says with a smile.

With a sigh i get out of the car, and look back at him, before shutting the car door.

-Thank you for taking me home, and sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice day. - I didn't wait for his response, just shut the door, and headed for the main etrance.

It was a nice apartment. It had a little balcony and big windows. Perfect for sunny, warmer mornings, to work, or just to have coffee. It barely had furniture, i'll have to fix that rather sooner than later. But for now I'll settle for a long bath and some take away.

One hour in, and i hear the doorbell ring. Did the press already find me? Is it Sarah? I wonder while quickly putting my robe on, and twist my hair with a towel. As i open the door, i see a suddenly flustered man. The very same one who brought me here from the airport, and i realize i still don't know his name. He coughs, then hands out a bag to me, and he's holding a box of pizza in his other hand.

He has this boyish smile while trying hard to look me just in the eye.

-I...i - he stammers - I brought a few beers and a pizza over. You didn't have luggage, and this flat was empty for 4 years since Buck moved to NYC so i thought you'll need some food maybe some company...

-That is so kind of you! Please come in.. i'll be back in a second.. i'll just.. put on some... clothes first.

He sets the food on the coffeetable while looking at my hurriedly retreating back.

-Please make yourself at ho... yea no problem with that. - I tease him as he's currently getting all comfortable on the couch.

-Oh i'm.. um sorry. I used to spend an awful lot of time in this apartment, i guess it is kind of a second home at this point.

-Well, you're welcome anytime.

-Thank you... um.. Why do i not know your name yet? - He smiles at me confusedly, and i feel a giggle emerge from my throat.

-Because you never asked.. I'm (Y/n). - i say as i held out my hand.

-Steve.. - he says, and his hands linger just a second more than a simple handshake should last.

-So what brings you to this side of the city? I never heard an accent like yours before.

-Um.. i'm from Sweden. I'm kind of.. um.. starting over i guess.

-SHit.. sorry, i didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

-No it's okay.. I guess i'm just not really ready to face the reality of the past few days.

He doesn't ask about it any further. If i'm ready, i'll probably tell him about it all, but for now i'm just happy i'm not spending my first night here alone.

-So tell me about this apartment.. what should i know?

-Well it's in great condition, if you ever see flooding then thats probably the Barton kids upstairs. They like to fill not just the tub, but the whole bathroom as well.. Next to them is Sarah and Sam, siblings. Your neighbours are Nat and Wanda, then on the other side it is me. The wall are rather thin so.. um.. yea there's that... and what else... - he starts to think - oh yea, the door to he balcony is stuck, but i'll come and fix that one for ya.

I look at him with a smile, while open another beer. We spend the next few hours talking, but mainly it's him doing the talking, telling everything i need to know about my neighbours, and the community here. Soon enough it is time for him to leave cause he has work tomorrow.

The next day, i feel rather depressed, so i decide i'll go on a walk. Kind of like a tour of the surrounding area. I found a small coffee around the corner, which i really appreciate right now, since i still don't have a coffee maker at my new home.

When i open the door the scent of freshly brewed coffee hits my nostrils, and i honestly feel a bit happier from it. The chiming of the door alerts the barista who is a red haired girl with a kind face.

-Hi, how can i help you?

-Hello, i would like a cappuchino please.

-Coming right up! Please take a seat, and i'll bring it over right away.

I couldn't help but smile at how kind she is to me. Feel like starting over in a place with kind people like this barista and Steve will be easier than i thought.

-Thank you very much. -I say as she put the coffee down before me.

-You're new here. - She says with a smile, sitting down at the table.

-Is it that obvious?

She giggles - Well i know a swedish accent when i hear one..

-I should practice my english, shouldn't i? - i say laughing.

-No, i really like it. If my old neighbour would still live here he'd be head over heels for you just cause of that accent..

-Thats exactly what my new neighbour said about his friend.. Are you like... a cult?

-That depends on who is your new neighbour really.. -she says smiling at me playfully.-Are you by any chance the new tenant 2 streets down from here?

My eyes are open wide, i don't even need to answer that question, her smile grows 10 times bigger.

-I'm Wanda! Glad to meet you sweet sweet neighbour!

-(Y/n), guess it is a cult then huh? - I ask as we burst out laughing.

She has this aura around her. I know from the start that she's kind, but over my cappuchino we became somehow friends even, and she made me promise that i'll go to the bar with them on Friday. As it is their weekly "cult-meeting".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Between getting furniture, trying to get clothes and stuff i need, and managing work alone, i find myself being kind of late from the friday cult meeting with my neighbours. Don't get me wrong, i really appreciate that they invited me out, and that they want me to be a part of the gang, but i am just so swamped. I honestly havent left the apartment in 4 days, and i only opened the door to get food, or packages and furniture delivered. Then around 8 a knock on my door startles me.

Greasy, messy bun, and sweatpants, all my glory, i open the door, only to find Wanda and another red-head on the other side.

-Why are you not ready yet? - asks Wanda cheerfully.

-Oh yea, i guess time flies, i'm rather swamped with work and stuff. Still need to get my visa sorted out too.

-I can help with that - said the red-head.

-Shit, sorry, i'm Y/N. - i said as i shook her hand

-Nat. Nice to meet you.

-So you said you can help with the visa thing? I have a fcking degree in design and i can't seem to get a simple working visa right...

Nat and Wanda looks at eachother before laughing.

-What? - I look at them confused.

-Go and take a shower, i'll rummage through your closet and we'll be good to go in no time.

-Yea, that's the other thing i forgot to mention... My closet is pretty much empty still. I moved here with just that. - I said, pointing at my laptop and handbag. I'm telling you... the pure horror on their face was the best thing i've seen all week.

-This is an emergency.

-No it's not.. i can always wear what i came in.

-No you cannot! Jesus, we're going to a bar, and we're gonna dance. - said Wanda.

-I also heard that the boys will be late cause they need to collect mister NYC from the airport.

-Wait.. Mister NYC? Do i already need to look for a new apartment?

-No, (Y/n).. He'll be living with Steve just as before...

-Before what?

-Before Dot?

-Before Who?

-Dot.. his um.. well i honestly don't know what they are at this point, but seeing as he moves back here, and with Steve i guess i'd call them exes.

-Oh nice. We'll have two sulking singles, two bisexuals, and me. - said Nat with a hint of sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes as i headed for the bathroom. I heard the door click shut, assuming they have left to find me some probably too revealing dress or something.

When i came back out i found Nat looking around the flat.

-So why on earth did you leave Sweden? That country is awesome.

-Oh yea well.. It is awesome, i just needed a change of scenery.

-Man problems?

-Bingo. - You said with a sad smile. She walked up to you to hug you.

-Men huh?! - was all she said. Just then Wanda marched trough the apartment with a pair of burgundy heels, and a little black dress. Not too revealing, except for the legs part, but it will be okay, with my leather jacket of course.

Soon enough i was entering the bar behind the girls. I felt great. The dress fit perfectly, and somehow Wanda even got my shoe size right, hair over my shoulders, in nice, loose curls. I felt like when i was in college, when I met that asshole for the first time. Confident, pretty, dressed to kill. Although I felt none of that right now, I still felt better than in the last few days.

Nat put a hand on my waist ushering me further to a box, that had 4 men in it already, one being Steve. All 4 of them were looking at me like they either saw a ghost, or the prettiest woman alive, and i honestly doubted it was the latter.

-And that's your Visa sorted honey. - Nat winked at me, earning a giggle.

Everybody introduced himself, and i decided to sit between Steve and Wanda. I felt most comfortable with them anyways. The conversations we had, all the laughs, teases, drinks felt good. I felt free, and for once in my life i felt i belong. If this is a cult, i'm sure as hell would like to be a part of it.

The girls wanted to dance, but i was just ready to go home and sleep, tomorrow i have a big day, meaning i will be building my bed, and then work all day again. Wanda pouted at me, but no can do. I am drunk enough to know i need to go home before they bring me another shot, cause then i'll lose it and either bring some random guy home, or cry all night in the toilets. And i didn't really wanted either of those.

Steve and as i know now Bucky were heading home as well, so it was convenient we walked there together, and honestly i was thankful for that, cause three shots two beer Y/N was not known for her good navigating skills.

By the time we reached my front door, i got to the state of the - i am horny - but i will cry shamelessly over my ex - stage. And i know i need to get inside the apartment fast, or this would be a short friendship with them.

We said our goodnights, and i tried to open my door. They were nearly inside their apartment when they heard me curse while sobbing a bit.

-Shit... FUCK THIS.. - i cried as i threw the keys on the floor, and sank down the door.

Bucky turned around, leaving Steve at their door.

-Hey... shh doll. Whats wrong?

-I can't get this stupid door open..

-Yea, sometimes it's stuck a bit, here let me help you.

-WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DAMN KIND TO ME?... - i cried even harder.

He bent down to gather little old drunk me in his arms when his scent hit me, and somehow calmed me instantly. I mean i am drunk, i am in this small black dress... Maybe i'll just... yea, i'll just cuddle him a little now that he decided to take me into my apartment. i thought as i laid my head on his chest, with a hand in his neck as he carried me in princess style, and i kind of pretended to be asleep. Getting the cuddles without the cringy talking. BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

When he notices that i am "asleep" he smiles, and goes for the bedroom, only to realize i have nothing but boxes, and a matress on the floor. He puts me on it carefully, pulling my blanket on me, then he caresses my face as he says - i know you are not sleeping doll, and I don't know who or why hurt you, but i can promise you you are safe with us.

-Please stay, - i murmured, reaching out a hand to him... gosh i am drunk.. - only until i fall asleep.

He looked to be hesitating.

-I don't ask you to fuck me Bucky, i just don't want to be alone.

That makes him chuckle. I feel i can be truly myself with them, and that means running my mouth as well.

-Yea sure doll. - he gets on the mattress nex to me, but far enough for us not to touch.

-So why did you leave this awesome apartment? - Look i was drunk okay? And i ran my mouth.. he didn't seem offended though.

-Well i.. I thought i found somebody that's worth leaving everything behind. Do you know what is the most absurd about it? I only realized i wasn't in love to begin with, when finding her with her boss in our bed ...didn't even really hurt me that much.

I shot up from the bed, looking at him laying one hand behind his head on the other side of the matress.

-Jesus i am so so sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Jesus, and i'm a fucking stranger.

-Chill Y/N it's all good, as i said it didn't hurt, i wasn't in love anymore. I guess never being enough just ruined it all huh. - he reminisinced.

-That i can agree with. - i said and now he was the one looking at me with wide eyes.

-You?

-Me.. - i showed him the subtle tan line where my ring supposed to be. - In the office.. with his secretary.

-Was he stupid or just retarded or some shit?

-No why ? - i asked him giggling.

-What the fuck is more attractive than someone with humor, someone who's intelligent and has her own fcking business that she built out of nowhere without the help of daddy or her boyfriend and has awesome personality and is even so fucking beautiful i thought i'd cry????

-Highheels, skimpy lingerie, and red lips i guess..

-Or the fact that you were just too good for him?

I shoved his shoulder lightly before laying down again.

-Dont put me on a pedestal Bucky. - was the last thing i said before falling asleep on his shoulder, holding his arm as if it was a plushie or something.

The next morning I wake up with a headache, and noise and giggles coming from the kitchen. There is something heavy on me that is surely not my blanket. I turn to look slowly as i see a sleeping man. It takes me a moment to realize that it's Bucky, whom i asked to stay. I quickly take a glance under the blanket, only to see all my clothing still on me. Good. Horny- drunk me didn't get the best of me.

I snuck out to find where the noise is coming from. Only to hear whistles and the giggles of the girls.

-Can you keep it down? My head is gonna explode.

-Suuuure, so i assume you have your visa sorted out?

-What are you even talking about Nat? - asked Wanda

- Well my dear.. Buck sure as hell didn't sleep at Steve's last night.

I mentally curse her for suggesting something that did not happen, while Wanda is looking at all of us wide eyed.

-Chill, nothing happened. Drunk old me just needed a good vent session and he happened to be at the wrong place and time.

-Good i still got a chance then. - said Sam with a toothy grin.

-Hey, i brought her home from the airport, i had dibs first. - pouted Steve

-Jesus, no dibs guys. - You laughed as Bucky emerged from your room, then it was his turn to get the whistles.

-So when will you tell us how you got in this town? - Wanda looked at me with big doe eyes.

-I'm not gonna get away with just sulking i gather.. Okay okay... fuck.. i need coffee first.

Then i proceeded to tell them how we got together, and how it ended, about how my family reacted. All of it.

-How are you not crying now? This broke my heart and i known you for a week. - Asked Wanda whispering to me next to the coffeemachine Steve lent me, while looking over the rest of the team on the couch.

-Yea, well.. Someone told me their own story, and i realized it didn't hurt nearly as much as it should cause i was never happy there to begin with. And how could i cry when i suddenly have a cult of friends that break into my apartment while i'm in my room sleeping with a stranger..

[pretoriafics]

Russian Roulette - Pt. 2

In this series, you will find Alternative Universe, Soulmate plot, Angst, Fluff. In this chapter, you will find: You met the creepy man from the black car, finally! But things began to get weird for you. Word count: 1.560 Pairings: Reader x Derek Original characters of this chapter: Bennie, your host mom; A weird ginger lady Warnings: English is not my main language <3 Yeah, it was based on Russian Roulette by Rihanna Russian Roulette series: Chapter One | Chapter Three RUSSIAN ROULETTE MASTERLIST TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

You were without a sign of clues.

Well, you were pretty sure that the creepy guy who was talking with Scott and Stiles that day at the school had the answers you were asking for. However, you don't even know his name, and do this question to Scott and Stiles wasn't a viable option. They will never tell you anything about it. You have just one choice: To stay alert and watch things as close as you can.

But, you know, sometimes things happen funnily. The universe has a weird sense of humor.

You were driving through the city in the afternoon, going to get the girls from ballet, and thinking about a plan or something that you could do. Beacon Hills was a tiny city, so if you find out the name of that guy, you could look for a few pieces of information about him. Actually, you were so absorbed in your own thoughts that you just didn't saw the traffic lights become red. The car in front of you stopped, but you didn't stop the car. In fact, when you saw the red light, your eyes got wider and you stepped into the car brake. The loud sound of the tire sliding in the asphalt echoed through the entire street, and your car crashed in the back of the car in front of you.

God, you were so fucked up! You had just screwed the car of your host family! Sebastian and Barbara will be so upset with you!

Immediately, you come out of the car with your face red with anxiety and anger. How could you be so inattentive? But when you saw a man coming out of the car, the color of your face changed from red to white in fear.

You'd just hitten in a black car. A Camaro, you thought without sure. The man was that creepy guy, who you saw talking with Scott and Stiles. Oh, God. You felt your stomach fell in fear, and you froze. He will take a gun to point of you, you are pretty sure about it!

But instead of it, he just looked at you, watching you attentively. His face still looks serious.

"You okay?"

Well, at least he is a polite criminal. Which market does he work at? Is he a drug dealer? A killer? Or he's some kind of... pimp? But why Scott and Stiles would get into a deal or something like that with a pimp?

He doesn't sound like a pimp for you. Actually, he seems like a killer. Maybe he is a killer and a drug dealer...

You breathe in deeply and finally replies him.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry! I don't have so much time with a driver's license. You okay?"

"I noticed that." His eyes become narrowed, and he gave you a discreet smile "Don't worry about me, I'm okay."

He looks at the damage done, and you follow his gaze. Fortunately, you stepped into the car brake soon enough to get just a little smash on both cars. Of course, your low speed helped to minimize the damage.

"Oh, God." You complain, letting out a long sigh. "Wait."

You went back to your car and took a pen and a post-it from the glove compartment. You weren't giving him your phone number just for being fair with him about the accident. It was just an excuse to, finally, find out his name. Quickly, you wrote your name with your phone number and gave the post-it for him.

"Could you give me your phone number? I'll fix your car, don't worry." He told you the numbers, slowly, and you could make the one million dollar question. "Okay. What's your name?"

"Derek Hale."

Oh my gosh, now you know his name! You would finally find out what the heck is going on.

"Alright. I'll send you a message to talk about the car. And sorry!"

Well, you were a lucky Au Pair. Your host family didn't get angry with you. Actually, they were happy you were okay and said that you don't have to worry about the car fix costs. It was great because 200 dollars per week as a salary really wasn't too much money. They just asked you to be careful while driving.

After taking a look at the girls, you ran to your room on the second floor, the last room in the corridor. Quickly, you took the laptop and begun to search on the internet about Derek. You found a piece of news, who was talking about a fire in a house. Reading that news, you found out that it was his house. Almost everybody died, except for Derek and his uncle, Peter, who is actually hospitalized in a clinic, with his whole body burnt.

Well... Maybe you were being unfair to him. It is such a sad history! But you need to continue your search. You need to prove yourself he isn't a criminal or some sort of it because, in the end, you need to protect your boys.

The next day, you were at a restaurant, lunching with Barbara, your host mom, and boss. You call her lovingly Bennie, and she was born and raised in Beacon Hills. If there's one that probably would know about Derek, that person would be her.

"So, Bennie... What about the car fixing?"

"Oh, dear, don't worry about that." She looks at you with a soft smile. "I'd talked with Hale about it. Everything is solved."

"Uh, really? That's great! And what do you know about him?"

Barbara was more than a boss. She was your friend, your second mom. And, sometimes, like every mom, she had the power to let you embarrassed. She was doing it right now, looking at you suggestively.

"Oh, you're interested in him? Why you didn't tell me before? I would talk with him about you! I don't judge you, I mean, all that bad boy kind... Wow! Don't lose this opportunity, girl!"

Bennie has the amazingly cringe-worthy manner ever: she loves to show you a few guys, telling you to call them to date. It wasn't being different now that you're asking her questions about Hale.

"Gosh, Bennie!" You laugh "Luckily Sebastian is not here."

"Well, I met Derek's mom once. He reminds me of her... You know, with all of that 'sweet' personality." Bennie gave a soft smile for you. "But she was a good person. Her name was Talia. Derek was out of the town since a few time ago but seems he came back. I didn't know about it." Bennie narrowed her eyes and gave you a large smile "And you know what? I think Talia would love to meet you!"

"Jesus Christ, Bennie, stop!" You hide your face with one of your hands, blushing while Bennie laughs about your reaction.

"You!"

A female voice came out of nowhere. A ginger woman, with a red dress, approaches you and Bennie. She seems so... Impressed. And she was looking at you.

"Can I help you?" You said, confused.

"I know what are you looking for, (Y/N)."

You froze. How did she know about your name? You had never, ever seen that woman in your entire life.

"...I'm sorry, I don't know-"

"Look for Haytham." She took a pen from her bag and wrote an address on a napkin from the table. A cold shiver ran down your spine when you noticed that her eyes were so empty and distant as a dead body's eyes. "He's a priest. But look at me, child: You are in a decisive moment of your life. You have two paths to choose from. If you continue to look for answers, you will know the truth and the truth is not what you're expecting. This truth will change your life forever, and your life will become a truly Russian roulette, girl. But if you give up on the call of Selene, and give up on your search, your life will be peaceful, but you will spend the entire life knowing that you lost something and you will never know what it is. You will look for something for the rest of your life that you know it's yours, but you will never find it. The choice is yours."

At this moment, you were so terrified, that you have cringed in the chair. Bennie was equally scared, and she was already looking around for some help. Everyone was looking at the table you were on.

Suddenly, after look at you with her dead eyes, the woman fell to the floor, unconscious. Bennie got up from the chair while everybody was looking at the woman, terrified and worried. Bennie instructed you.

"Call an ambulance!"

Terrified and with your hands shaking, you followed her ask while Bennie was watching the lady. As a doctor, Bennie could give her first aid until the ambulance comes in. But when Bennie took the woman's wrist, she contracted her lips in anxiety. Immediately, Bennie put her hands in the woman's chest and...

Oh, Gosh, she was trying to resuscitate the woman.

Bennie was doing a few chest compressions on the woman, which is obviously wasn't a good sign. After a few trying, Bennie shakes her head negatively. Nervous, you asked for her.

"She will be okay?"

Bennie contracts her lips.

"No, (Y/N). She's dead."

[mccnglade]

many reasons; dazai osamu

DAZAI OSAMU X READER

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part...

WORD COUNT: 1.8K words

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, abuse (not reader's), angst (if you squint), fluffy ending. MILD SPOILERS FOR BUNGO STRAY DOGS SEASON 3

(e/c) - eye color

A/N: sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky!! i'm posting this on mobile because tumblr doesn't work on my stupid, old laptop.

this fic is really super, self-indulgent because dazai is my favorite in bsd and i love when situations like the one in this one shot happen in anime, so i combined the two things and wrote this. this was actually going be a scene in a dazai fic i'm thinking of posting on my wattpad, but i decided to scrap it and write it as a oneshot. i hope you all enjoy reading this!!

Also shoutout to @neonghxst who wanted me to finish this one shot hehe. thanks to her, i got the inspiration to actually write this and finish it.

"Are you sure we should have left him like that?"

You fiddled with the ends of your coat sleeves. Upon hearing about Atsushi's new case and the end result, you immediately wanted to give the boy a hug and never let him go. He had been through so much these past few weeks and hearing about the death of that abusive headmaster of his old orphanage must have been incredibly painful.

But Dazai had promptly pulled you away, after saying exactly what needed to be said. (He always knew what to say in any kind of situation and that made you feel jealous a lot of times)

"Things like that are meant to be dealt with alone. Atsushi-kun will manage," Dazai answered with a cool tone. "You worry too much, (Y/N)-chan."

He tried to ruffle your hair but you slapped his hand away with a huff.

"I have every right to worry, you know," You crossed your arms, angrily staring at the ground. You and Dazai had already left the port area and now were back in the city, walking next to each other. "He and Kyouka just...I just wanna give them both a hug and adopt them as family."

This time, Dazai successfully managed to ruffle your hair."You are very funny, (Y/N)-chan."

"I'm not being funny! I'll actually adopt them, just you wait and see."

"As amusing as that would be, I'm gonna stop you there."

"Why?"

"Well, it's nighttime now. And we are almost near the river. The moon's pretty bright today. Which means one thing and one thing only."

"What, Dazai?"

"It's the perfect time for a double suicide!" 

Dazai suddenly grabbed you by the waist and spun you around. You felt your face grow warmer as he kept his hands on your waist, meanwhile going on about the benefits of a double suicide.

"D-dazai! Let go!" You physically tried to struggle out of his grip, knowing that your Ability was useless in this situation. "Just let go, dumbass!"

"Nope, not gonna." 

Dazai let go of your waist, but then immediately grabbed your hand. But you managed to pull it away. He stuck his tongue out at you. "You are no fun, (Y/N)-chan."

You glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you no, you bandage squandering idiot?!"

"Ahh!! You sound so much like Kunikida-kun! Why didn't you tell me you were so great at impersonating others?"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?" You went to shove his shoulder but he dodged it,  jumping aside with his annoying (endearing) laugh. You tried to hit him again, but he dodged this time too and started running.

"Oi, Dazai! Come back here, you idiot!"

You ran too, trying to catch up to him so that you could, at least, flick his forehead before slapping him. Why was he so annoying, you always wondered. 

'Isn't this why you like him?' Your heart whispered to you.

'Shut up,' You told it.

You kept on running. Even as you did, the sun had almost set, taking its red and orange hues and replacing it with the dark, navy blue of the night sky. The running brought you to the river bank, a spot where both you and Kunikida had to drag Dazai out of. For some reason, he declared this spot and drowning as his top favorite for a double suicide.

It was incredibly annoying, but at the same time, also incredibly saddening and you wished you knew more about why he was like this.

Finally, you caught up with him. 

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part. 

Both of you stumbled down the river bank, holding onto each other because there was nothing else to grab onto. The slant river bank ended and they were on flat ground again.

But...but, both of you were in a rather compromising position. 

Usually, you were a pretty confident and self-assured person. But when it came to situations like these (or any romantic situations)…well, you were still pretty inexperienced. So inexperienced actually that you hadn't kissed anyone in a long while, almost two years to be exact. Relationships had always seemed like a waste of time to you, but being in such close proximity of the man you currently yearned for was doing wonders for your heart. (In a good way and a bad away)

Dazai's arms were on your shoulders, pinning you to the ground. He loomed over you, his brown eyes staring right into your (e/c) ones. 

You swore you could detect something there before it was hidden behind his mask again. 

No longer were you able to keep the warmth away from your face. You knew you probably resembled a tomato right now. You wanted to get out of this position quickly, but deep down, your mind and your heart both resisted. And you felt like agreeing with them this time. You wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

So you decided to speak.

And immediately regret it.

"Your eyes are pretty," The combined forces of your heart and mind make you say something stupidly embarrassing and you immediately want to cover your face. But you can't. So you continue.

Even the darkness of night couldn't keep the redness of your cheeks hidden. 

"I mean, they're not just an ugly brown color. They have this amber-like quality to them. And everytime light hits them, they almost shine and it makes them more beautiful than I ever thought. Like seriously, you have really beautiful eyes. Personally, your eyes are your best feature and they're one of the many reasons I fell for you."

(You wanna crush your own stupid heart for that last bit.)

"Oh?" That was all Dazai said, that stupidly endearing smirk on his face. "Many reasons? What are they again?"

"Um, uh," You hesitated, turning your head to the side. This was more embarrassing than any other situation you had ever been in. There was nowhere else to go and while you could have kicked Dazai away with ease, truth be told you really didn't want to do that. How many chances like this would you ever get? "I don't even know when I started liking you. And maybe it's a stupid thing because nothing is ever going to come out of it, but yeah. I have feelings for you, Dazai Osamu. Truth be told, I can sort of understand why you ask women to commit a double suicide with you. You want someone to be by your side, right? You don't want to be lonely when you die. I guess I can understand that, though I wish I could show you the joy in living. But I don't think I'll ever be able to change your mind."

You laughed nervously, looking anywhere but at Dazai's face, where his smirk had been replaced by a more serious look. "I went on a totally different tangent there, didn't I? You can forget that last bit but to sum up everything, I have feelings for you. I don't expect you to return them anyways so...yeah."

Now, you looked at Dazai. His expression was unreadable. You couldn't understand what emotions were written on his face. You didn't even know what he would do next. Would he reciprocate your feelings? Would he reject them? What would he do? You wanted answers and you weren't getting them.

Then again, it was partly your fault also. You suddenly sprung these feelings on him. You shouldn't expect him to answer quickly. 

(Secretly, you also thought that Dazai wasn't the type of person who'd ever truly  love someone. It was just your stupid luck he was the person you fell for.)

Unexpectedly, Dazai suddenly moved off you, giving you the opportunity to finally sit up and contemplate your next moves.

'Should I just run away?' You thought, thinking about the pain of rejection. You'd deal with it. Somehow. 'It's the coward's way out. But what more can I do?'

"If you're thinking of running away, don't," Dazai suddenly said, meeting your eyes with a stare so intense that you swore he could read every single thought in your mind. 

"That was not what I was thinking," You clearly lied, crossing your arms. 

"You know, I can tell that you're lying, my Belladonna," Dazai put his hand on your cheek, his slender fingers brushing away the stray strands of hair on your face. "You are not a very good liar."

"D — wh-what?" You froze up completely. Because as much as you would like to deny, even an action like this left you wanting more. His hands were inexplicably warm and strangely soft. You couldn't even think about running away now. Dazai put his other hand behind your back, pulling you close to him. Close enough that your noses were almost touching and you could see the little flecks of amber in his pretty brown eyes. 

"D-do you also h-have feelings f-for me?"

What the hell was wrong with your voice? You wanted to ask your question again, but your words died in your throat. 

Instead, your heart chose to speak. You tilted your head slightly, barely brushing your lips against his. Even this small action sent volts of electricity coursing through your body. But then, your courage fizzled out and you tried to move back. 

Key word; tried. 

Dazai put his hand at the back of your head and pulled you closer, finally,  freaking finally, kissing you. 

You wished you could describe what you were feeling, but you really couldn't. Your mind was completely shut down and all you could really think was, that you were floating. And since it was your one of the few kisses you had in your life, you didn't know what to do. So you kept on pressing your mouth against Dazai's, trying to have more; trying to feel more of him. 

It was strange, it felt so strange. But kissing Dazai felt incredibly…amazing. Yeah, amazing. Just him and you and nothing else. You felt like you could touch the stars now and you didn't want it to end. You wanted to keep on doing this forever, or as long as both of you could. 

But then, Dazai suddenly ended the kiss, pulling back with a lazy grin.

You stared at him, breathing heavily. And then, you let your head fall onto his shoulder, grabbing onto to the front of his cream-colored trench coat. 

"Does that answer your question, (Y/N)-chan?" He asked with a sing-song voice, suddenly hugging you. 

"So you do like me?" Your voice was muffled by his coat, but you knew he heard you clearly. 

His lips were pressed onto your neck, moving with his answer. You understood it immediately. Releasing his coat from your hands, you hugged him back.  

You knew this moment wouldn't last very long, but you would revel in it for now. 

It was going to be the only thing on your mind for a very long time.

a/n: i hope this was a fun read! with this quarantine, i've been thinking of attempting to write more character x readers because they are good practice for writing a multi-chapter fic. so you might see more bsd, haikyuu and bnha content on here. I might also post about DC so let's see.

My wattpad

[mereth]

Writing updates and musings.

I'm jittery and less than inspired to write so you get ramblings about writing and everything else while I'm at the metro. Jesus has this week been as long and as shitty for everyone as for me? The "bad" part is that, at an strictly personal level, it isn't going that bad, just you now *waves around* everything else. Sometimes you just want to move to a deserted island or to the moon. I also looked at the synopsis and what I got from Twitter after reading @werepartofthemasterplan post about Merlí and *rolls eyes* I think I want to watch the final scene, be pissed off and that's it. I'll check youtube later. My feelings about MSA are right now at that point when you break up with someone, you know it should be a clean break and process the good and the bad and be done, but you just can't help going back to what ifs and remembering grievances. And this isn't a good mindset to write specially when you are in the middle of a tricky chapter.

As I said I'm not inspired about Merlí and feeling down about *waves around* everything doesn't help either. I dealt with Wednesday and its suckiness at politics, channeling my frustration into fluffy fic and afterwards my inspiration died. You can read the fic here (in Spanish). I wrote it while commuting and trying to not miss my stop so there'll be mistakes. It feels it can be a bit longer so I'll probably end up continuing it and posting the finished version in AO3. I'll warn you if/when it happens.

About Maneras de Amar, I feel like I'm stuck in ch. 7 . To be honest it's more like I'm going to be stuck. I more or less know what I have to write, but I don't know how. Being jittery doesn't help with my focus (is it anxiety? is it my meds? I don't know but I hate not being able to focus). I probably just need to sit and spend time in front of my laptop until I focus and unstuck myself. Sadly I don't have a lot of free time right now and my weekend is going to be busy so I won't get it then either.

The brightest part of my week it's that it's coming to visit one of my 2 favourite Catalan people and (one in my 10 favourite people ever) so at least I'll disconnect. I'm usually the one who goes there (I don't know at what point you stop being a tourist and become a visitor, like a relative you see from time to time, but I reached it even before I lived at Barcelona) so this change of pace is something I look forward to.

Let's hope a weekend of friends and nerdiness non-Merlí related help me to get back into writing. Now I just have to survive work today 🤣😅

[aliceaddellheidde]

Fatum

A/N: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club  Lucky in love. March 15 - In The Cards.

WORDS: 1458

WARNINGS: talking about sex

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x reader (eventually) {Soulmates AU}

DISCLAIMERS: Endgame happened, but only Thanos and his peasants died. English isn´t my first language so sorry for mistakes.

Moi, Rai and Parca are genderless & are using they/their pronouns.

This is soulmates au. When you get tattoo, your soulmate gets it as well on same spot. It glows when you touch.

This is multi-chapter story. 9/19

I took a bath with robo fishes (cuz I'm 5 😅) and got ideas 🤯

Pic from here (I had to 🤤)

Divider by @rainbowkisses31

Bucky had no idea why you screamed at him. Why were you angry? He did nothing. He wasn't happy you were dating Declan, but he was sure it wasn't his fault that your date went bad. He could hear you crying in your bedroom but was afraid to go there. What he would say to you anyway?

He was waiting for his bacon to be done when smiling Sam ran to him. „Look Buck, look!” He turned around and Bucky just now realized he didn't have a t-shirt. Then small white tattoo caught his eyes. „You got yourself a tattoo?” „No man, it appeared during night! Here, take a pic of it so I can send it on soulmates page.” „Take a what?” Sam gave him his phone. „Press that white button and take nice picture. C'mon man, it's not that hard.” Bucky rolled his eyes. „Fine, I'll do it but don't call me Buck. Only Steve can do it.” „Yeah, yeah. Hurry up.” Bucky clumsily took pic. Sam said his thanks and ran to his bedroom.

Bucky turned to his breakfast in the pan only to be interrupted by Steve and Natasha. Both laughing and clinging to each other. He tried to ignore them. „Good morning Buck.” said Steve, making coffee. „Hi.” he mumbled. „Do you know why was Sam so happy?” „He found out he has a soulmate. Got a tattoo.” Steve stopped in midway of mixing his coffee and looked at his friend. „Really? That's great! How does it look like?” „Bird.” „Like a falcon?” Natasha asked. „Don´t know. Don’t care.” Bucky took his plate and cup and walked away from the kissing couple. Before he walked into his room he saw Y/N going out of her room. She looked tired, oversize t-shirt on, pale face and unkempt hair. He wanted to hug her, but she totally surprised him when she said good morning to him with small smile as she was passing him. „Hi.” he replied. He watched her until she turned behind the corner.

After your breakfast you changed and ran to Sam´s room when he screamed. „What's the problem?” He hugged you and turned around with you. „Absolutely nothing. I just have a date with my soulmate!” You were watching him in shock. „How?” „It happened last night.” „Can I see it?” He lifted his t-shirt and turned his back to you. „It´s beautiful.” „I know, right? Now I have to get ready.” „I'm leaving anyway.” „Going to make things right with Declan?” You blushed. „Maybe.” „Good luck.” „You too.”

It took you fifteen minutes to get into cafe where Declan was waiting for you with two coffees. You said awkward hellos and sat down. „I'm glad you said yes to meeting me.” „Sure.” „Look, I know that our last date wasn't good and I´m sorry I made you feel guilty. But I have my fair share on that night too.” „Because you … .” „Yeah.” You nodded. „It happens sometimes.” „I know. Mine was from different reason.” He pulled out his phone and showed you picture of beautiful butterfly tattoo. „You found your soulmate?” You felt small pang of jealousy. „Uhhm.” His face was red now. „Actually it happened when we had sex. That's why I … you know. It was shock for my body. When you left I went to shower and found it.” „That's amazing.” You smiled through pain. „Do you know who they are?” „No. I uploaded it only this morning. No answer yet.” In that moment his phone vibrated. He read the message and his expression changed. „Her name is Vanessa.” he said to you with beaming smile. „Is it ok with you if I write to her now?” „Go ahead.” He quickly wrote something and then turned his attention back to you. „And what about you?” „What about me?” „Did you speak to Bucky?” „No. Nobody knows what happened.” „What if he's the one you are looking for?” „I doubt it.” „Why?” „I got my memories about him back thanks to you and our accident.” „Wau! It´s good, isn´t it?” „Kinda. We were not that good friends. Mostly pulled pranks on each other.” „But you have to feel something more for him when our sex brought memories back.” „Even if, it can´t work.” „Why?” „Because he's idiot! Always in my face, thinking he's batter than me, showing off his skills and other stuff. He makes me so angry sometimes.” „My mom would sit you in same room until you would figure it out. You should try it.” „Not gonna happen.” „I forgot how stubborn you are.” You both laughed. „We almost kissed twice.” you whispered. „And my besties think we would be nice couple.” Declan finished his coffee and looked you in the eyes. „And you still underestimate it? You are crazy.” „I don’t think he wants someone like me anyway.” „Just don’t be surprised if one day you both will have same tattoo.” he smirked. „I have to go now. I´m happy you let me explain that night to you. At least we know it wasn't our fault.” „Yop. Good to know.” „Oh, I almost forgot. Got your coat.” „Thanks.” You said your goodbyes and you went back home with smile on your face.

You knocked on Bucky's door. He opened after moment. „Can I come in?” you asked nervously. „Sure.” He let you in and you sat on his bed. „What's up?” „I want to apologize to you. I shouldn’t scream at you last night. You did nothing wrong.” „I knew it. Did Declan something to you?” „No. But something happened and I have my memories about you back.” You smiled at him. „Really? That's great!” He was more excited than you expected. „I'm sorry it took my so long.” „Don´t worry doll. It´s not important now.” He hugged you and lightly kissed top of your head. You didn't even noticed. „Does it mean I can pull pranks at you again?” „Don´t you dare!” You pushed him away. „Be ready. We are starting tomorrow!” „Fuck you Borky!” You left his bedroom, laughing. „I would rather fuck you doll.” he said to himself.

Steve was cooking lunch while Bucky was on his laptop. „Sam called. He will come with his girlfriend for dinner. I hope you will be in better mood.” „I'm great Steven.” he said sarcastically. „Y/N has finally back all memories about me.” „I told you Buck.” „Yeah, yeah.” „At least now you can be happy. Declan wasn't her soulmate after all.” „How do you know?” Bucky turned his head so fast his neck cracked. Steve laughed too much for his friend liking. „I told him.” said Natasha when she walked in the kitchen. „Of course.” Bucky rolled his eyes. Girls tell each other everything. „It´s your time to find someone old man. Only you, Bruce and Y/N are still single.” „What do you expect of me? To go to tattoo salon right now?” „Yes!” „Not a chance!” „Oh Bucky, don’t you want it?” He was quiet for a minute. „I don’t know for sure. Who would like to be with someone like me?” „Everybody has a soulmate. I feel yours will show in near future.” spoke Wanda as she came with Vision and you. „What are you now? Prophet?” He was a bit harsher then he wanted to be. „Sorry Wan.” She nodded and sat next to her boyfriend. You sat next to Bucky, but he was deep in his thoughts. Why did Wanda say it? Does she really know something? Is he ready to let someone in his life? What if his soulmate will not accept him?

After lunch you stopped him before he could disappear into his room and gave him plastic box. „Have fun.” you smiled. He opened it and found few robo fishes he gave you when you were sad to bath with. He had no idea why you did it, but he felt warm feeling in chest from it.

You all were nicely dressed, sitting in living room. Sam walked out of elevator hand in hand with beautiful woman. He smiled at her and they both walked up to you. „I wanna introduce you my soulmate, Aderyn.” She looked nervous. You introduced first and others followed you. During dinner you found out she's zoo worker with birds of prey. „No surprise your tattoo is a falcon.” Steve smirked. You were having great time and was happy that Bucky seemed relaxed.

But as soon as Aderyn left Steve and others couldn’t stop talking about their soulmates so you and him rather ran away. You said good night to him and after long two months you fell asleep with head full of Bucky.

Next chapter 18.3.2021

What was I listening to while writing this chapter 🤣 (not in English)

[fairytales-of-yesterday]

My Lonely Days Are Through

A/N: okay so I finally wrote a fic! this is my first fic in like,, 4 years or so? so be gentle with me I guess lmao

I am pretty content with this though! I'm soft as hell so,,, here we go :)

@gardnerlangway this one's for you, lovely

(no editing we die like men)

A yawn escapes your lips as you stretch out and then curl back up. Tim's heart flutters as he watches you rub your nose, your brows furrowed. You're currently curled up on his couch, fast asleep. It's a typical Friday night for the two of you, one spent together. After meeting Tim when you started working in the museum a few months back, the two of you had built up a routine around each other. You would eat lunch together on your break, stay after hours working and keeping each other company, you would even go grocery shopping together on weekends. Today was no exception to your intertwined schedules. Upon leaving the museum for the day, you had grabbed a late dinner and ended up back at his apartment. You had started the night working, but the stress of the week and your recent lack of sleep had taken its toll, and you dozed off relatively quickly after 2am hit.

The soft light of the television dances colors across your face as Tim looks on in complete adoration. Your eyelashes cast tiny shadows on your cheeks as your chest rises and falls steadily. You had borrowed a shirt and some shorts from him, you both agreeing it would just make sense if you spent the night, and his eyes couldn't help but wander to where the tshirt had ridden up to expose a bit of your stomach. His breath catches in his throat as he finds himself thinking about what it would feel like to hold you there. What it would feel like to just have you close. To run his hands along your soft skin and-

"Okay wow, Tim." He quickly looks back at the bright screen of his laptop in order to rid his mind of these compromising thoughts. But, as his eyes make their way back to you, he runs a hand through his hair and breaths a quiet laugh. "I really do have it bad, don't I?"

He quickly covers his mouth though as he sees you slightly stir, not wanting to wake you. He had seen the effect the last week had had on you, his heart slowly falling more and more as each day you seemed to become a little more quiet, a little less peppy, and a little less yourself. The project you had been working on was one you were very passionate about, but it had become quite the endeavor. Though you had been thrilled to take it on, the universe had not been on your side, with people forgetting to follow through with their promises, paperwork getting mixed up, and even artifacts getting misplaced for a bit due to the lack of a proper cataloging system when the museum first opened. It nearly broke Tim's heart to see you become so unhappy with something that had made you so ecstatic before. He had done all in his power to keep you smiling, with funny stories, bad jokes, and any help he could offer, but you couldn't help still being discouraged. He had even mustered up the courage to give you a little kiss on the forehead as he left your office at one point, and the smile it brought, along with the blush that rose to your cheeks, was definitely worth the ten minutes he spent panicking over whether or not he should even attempt it. Just the memory of your flustered face makes him grin.

A small whine draws him from his thoughts. He looks up to find you rubbing your eyes and slowly pushing yourself to a sitting position. He tries his best to maintain his composure as you sleepily pull down your shirt and run your hand through your hair.

"Good morning," he chuckles quietly. You look at him in sleepy confusion before realizing what happened.

"Oh nooo," you groan, putting your face in your hands. He laughs a little louder this time, scooting over on the couch to bump your shoulder with his. You smile into your palms, your face flushing pink at the contact. He bumps you again, drawing your face away from your hands. Peeking through your fingers, you can see the soft but wide smile on his face.

"Have a nice nap?"

It's teasing, but you can see something resembling concern in his gaze. You just nod in response, running a hand through your hair. "I don't think I've ever seen you fall asleep this fast," he cautiously approaches the subject, "have you slept this week?"

The laugh that escapes you in response only makes his concern grow. He asks again, softer this time, and you look up at him with tired eyes.

"I uh... I think I got ten hours this whole week."

"Ten?"

You wince slightly at his tone, cursing yourself for not adding a few hours to make him feel a bit better.

"But that's like... two hours a night! You've gotten ten hours of sleep this whole week?" You can't tell if it's shock or sadness in his eyes. Maybe both.

"Eleven if you count the nap I just took?" You joke, trying to calm him a little. "Tim, I'm okay I promise, I've been through a lot worse, honest."

"Worse?!"

Okay, so that didn't help. But before you can say anything else to try and defend yourself, he wraps you up in a tight hug. You tense up for a second, taken by surprise, but quickly you melt into him. You don't even realize you've started crying until you hear Tim trying to comfort you.

"I'm- I'm sorry," you hiccup into his shoulder, tears beginning to stain his shirt.

He rubs your back slowly, quietly shushing you, and telling you that it's absolutely okay, and you have nothing to apologize for. You shiver at his touch, burying your face in his neck, breathing him in. You stay like that for a few minutes, you trying to stop your ragged breaths and the tears spilling from your eyes, him rubbing your back, occasionally switching to run his hands through your hair, whispering words of comfort. However, eventually you pull away with a pitiful laugh.

"Sorry about your shirt," you whisper, trying to simultaneously brush your tears off of his shoulder and wipe your eyes.

"Hey, it's completely okay. I know this week has been rough. You have every right to be upset. But, it's over now, okay? Next week'll be better, yeah? I'll make sure it is."

He's relieved to see a watery smile grace your lips. No, that's an understatement. He's almost on the verge of crying himself, never having seen you in this state before. He brings his hands up to cradle your face, wiping the still falling tears with the pads of his thumbs, somehow not noticing the deep shade of red you're turning. With his hands still around your face, he tilts your head so you're looking up at him.

"Now, what do you say I pop some popcorn and you turn on something you like?"

A breathy laugh escapes you and you nod, not really trusting your voice with him this close to you. You can see the masked worry in his features as he smiles, and you mentally kick yourself for stressing him out. But, that thought leaves you as he stands up, giving you a chaste but firm kiss on your forehead. You're eternally grateful that he goes to the kitchen immediately after bc you can't stop the blush that rises to your cheeks.

"Dear god, that boy's gonna kill me," you whisper, wrapping yourself up in one of the blankets that had been resting on the back of the couch.

You start to flip through the channels, eventually landing on a documentary, and you hear a chuckle behind you. You turn to find Tim with a bowl of popcorn in his hand, looking at you in what you could only describe as fond adoration. You flush again, and he laughs fully now, plopping down beside you. You lift the blanket, inviting him in, and he gladly accepts, scooting over close enough to bump knees with you.

You fall into a comfortable silence, both of you enraptured by the bright images on the tv. Every now and then your hands brush when trying to reach for popcorn, and you mentally curse yourself for getting so worked up over cliches, not knowing that Tim was doing the exact same thing.

You're the first to speak.

"Thank you."

It's a quiet whisper, accompanied with a shoulder bump. He bumps you back and gives you a lopsided grin.

"It's the least I could do."

“What?”

“Y/N, you've spent the last few months I've known you being so amazingly kind to me. You bring me food, you save me seats in meetings, you laugh at my jokes, you-”

You cut him off very seriously, “Okay they're good jokes, Tim.”

At that he laughs, breathlessly.

“Not good enough for you to cry in the middle of a meeting! I was trying to be quiet and you almost spit your water everywhere!”

Now you're both laughing, remembering that stupid planet joke and how you just about died of embarrassment, and before you can think or stop yourself, you say it.

“God, I love you.”

It's like all the oxygen leaves the room. Both of you are immediately gasping for breath, as if the air had been knocked out of your lungs. Before you can sputter out an apology, anything to make things go back to how they were before you blurted out what had been your most well-kept secret, Tim manages to get out,

“You… you what?”

His eyes are wide, and you're sure yours are as well. You're in love with him. You're in love with him. You had never even said it to yourself before. It had always just been little sighs, thoughts of him basically all the time, or little whispers to yourself about how bad you've got it. Never an outright, ‘I'm in love with Tim Murphy.’ No, the first time you said it just had to be right to his face.

You start to say ‘sorry, no, wait,” to say, ‘hold on I shouldn't have done that,’ but then you stop. And you look at him. Tim. Tim, with his sweet words and his brilliant mind. Tim, with his adorable laugh and beautiful smile that he had come to trust you with. Tim, with his tight hugs that make you feel safer than almost anywhere else. Tim, with his strong arms and gorgeous face and Jesus Christ his HANDS are just about the hottest things in the world like oh my god the things he could- you've gotten off track. The point is, you don't want to apologize. You don't want to take it back. You love him.

So you say it again.

“I love you.”

And then it's quiet. He looks honestly shell-shocked. You can almost see his gears turning behind his eyes, trying to figure out what to say after that. Immediately, your brain jumps to the worst possible scenario, and you begin to backtrack.

“I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just- you're so lovely, but you can completely ignore any of this just hap-”

And then he's kissing you. It's a short kiss, just a sweet, small one, but you're out of breath when he pulls away. You open your eyes to see him in a similar state, his face completely flushed. But he quickly finds his voice.

“I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that.”

All you can do is laugh, still trying to remember how to breathe.

“The feeling is mutual.”

He blushes and gives a bashful smile, then hesitates again, opening his mouth, then closing it, once more unable to speak. However, he manages to regain his composure enough to ask,

“Can… can I kiss you again?”

Not even bothering you answer, you close the gap between you. You feel Tim smile against your lips, and you can't help but do the same. You don't know how it happens, but somehow you end up on his lap, straddling him. Your hands are on his chest as your lips move in sync, slowly, but desperately. Passionately. His hands make their way into your hair, and you whimper quietly into his mouth as he gives it a slight tug. Your face heats up immediately, but you just keep going, pretending it didn't happen and hoping he missed it. He definitely heard it though, and you feel him smirk against you.

Shit, that's hot … everything he does is hot.

You roll your hips experimentally to retaliate, still on top of him, and the moan that leaves his lips is one of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard. It goes straight to your core, and you let out a groan yourself. You start to roll your hips once more, desperate to draw that sound from him again, but his hands come up to your waist and stop you. You can see he’s panting, and his hair is all disheveled.

“Okay, as much as I want to do that, and I really wanna do that,” he pauses as you giggle, “you just told me that you got 10 hours of sleep this week. I promise we can continue another time, but right now, you need to sleep.”

You pout, knowing he's got a point.

“Okay, but only since you promised.”

He helps you off his lap, letting you use him as support, and gently guides you to his bedroom. He makes a big, dorky show of tucking you in, making sure you're comfortable, offering to make you a glass of water. Finally, he gives you a soft smile, says a quiet goodnight, and gives you a quick kiss on the forehead. Your face immediately flushes, and you whisper a soft goodnight back as he turns to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

He turns around, confused.

"The couch?"

You give him a grin, suddenly a bit shy, and wordlessly lift up the covers next to you. He stares at you for a moment, still sporting that confused expression, and then suddenly it's like a lightbulb goes off in his head.

"Oh. OH! You want..?"

You giggle sleepily at how flustered he is. Just a few minutes ago you were about to rip each other's clothes off, and now he's getting stuttery about sleeping in the same bed as you.

"I hope you like to cuddle."

At that, he smiles sheepishly, and nods without a word. You watch as he changes into pjs, his boxers and an old band tshirt, and it takes all your willpower to not start anything again. After turning the lights off, he slides into bed next to you. There's a moment of hesitation, a moment where it seems like he can't quite decide what he wants to do, but then you feel him move closer to you, and suddenly, he's holding you. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and you can feel his smile against your skin. He presses a tender kiss to your shoulder, and you turn to press one into his hair. You both sigh, more comfortable and safe than you've ever felt in your life.

"Goodnight, Tim."

"Goodnight."

A beat.

"I love you."

You smile.

"I love you too."