#( here u want books? i got u books. )
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my favorite bookworm
#ok as u can tell (like everything I post here) super rushed and scribble bahahahahahahahahah#trying to get likeness without many lines & as fast as possible…🥲#I hope I get better😆#today all I did was art#my hands have finally stopped shaking so much since I had Covid for a whole month (🥲) and I started tattooing a lot#but lots of practice bc it’s been so long🥲🥲🥲#I love how the tattoo turned out though#then I did an acrylic underpainting for an oil self-portrait I’m going to do tomorrow#bc the last one was in 2021😳 I posted it to my Twitter if u want to see#and then I went and bought LOTS OF BOOKS for my 2 year old nephew…need to get him started early😆#and then I got home and I had…15 min for this little scribble#idk I wanted to post it even though it doesn’t look like him#but the last eloise drawing I did didn’t look like her either😆😆#anyways bookworm Sebastian supremacy#I love the posr so tbh I might redo it sometime soon but like. actually good#and I need to do the next illustrstion for my fic I already have it sketched out and everything!!!!!!!!!#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart
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i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.
the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.
the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.
and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.
hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.
and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.
and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.
and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.
and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.
that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.
i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.
if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.
#corey talks:)#this has been in my drafts forever but i saw something that made me have feelings and so i finished it and here take this iuygfcvghuij#i justgod the books are SO GOOD and barely anyone knows theyexist#and i think that's what makes me the kost upset#or some [people chose to ignore they exist or don't give them a chance bc... i don't even know why. ppl are just so quick to dismiss them#the books are so important to me (literally got a httyd book tattoo) and i get most book fans also like the movies#but it sucks bc i can't go through the httyd tag without being bombarded with movie stuff#i'll even look up 'httyd books' and half of it is still about the movies.#i'll look up snotface snotlout and only finds movie stuff even tho ig they changed his last name in the movies???#i'll look up camicazi and find it filled with astr*d. WHAT.#i'll look u toothless and only see the freaking nightfury. not the original.#like god movie enjoyers at least tag correctly. i get you want ppl to see your posts but the more i see movie stuff in the book tag the mor#i hate the movies lol like the movies are so much more popular than the books let us have our tags okay#sorry if any of this sounds bitter also i hope it doesn't sound like i want to argue or fight#this is just my opinion and i have feelings and i just want ppl to know there are books#also i am not shaming anyone who likes the movies like i already said you do you boo just don't come at me for doing me#bc yes that has happened to me multiple times :) which is one reason why i get so upset :)#i just personally cannot separate the two. i know some ppl can and i'm glad! but i can't and that's okay too#httyd#httyd books
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✮ DIVINITY ✮
HI GUYSs!! how r u babbiz doing😋😋 i’m going away again after this😔😔 art production has been very scarce…..i sadly only pick up a pen on a random good day n it usually is just a doodle. how r my moots!! haven;t been catching up on ur art lately will get to that i promise!! idk what else 2 put here blueh but i hope u guys r well!!
#DIVINITY#<- title?? i have no idea what to name this hwjws#i’m pretty proud of how i made cyrus 😋😋😋 what was i on how is he so pretty wtfs😔😔#i read greek mythos again n i;m planning to get the book circe!! that’s probably why i made god ocs x>>#no lore for these guys yet because i made them solely out of impulse#i’m thinking of writing the lore for these guys like greek mythology too#tales; but never a specific storyline#i want the tale to be like origins: we call them ��alamat’ here in my country it’s practically like the origins of everyday things / objects#BUT I AM HERE TO SAY THE LEGATON LORE IS FINISHED AND YUMI IF UR SEEING THIS HMU I HAVE TO SPILL THIS#got 2 go again sadly😔 i’ll be back latr😍😍😍 probs????#as of now i’m so going 2 spam post of whatever i made 2 feed u all#ily all!! plis take care mwa mwa!! xx#ocs#oc art#cyrus#arif#azalea#vendetta#arnav#kronos#palomian mythology
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i am going to wind up on team #justiceforarmand but it's going to be so situational. justice for armand specifically during the period of time louis is all "oooh who needs labels." a very different kind of justice for armand on matters pertaining to claudia.
#usually i would be like 70 years???#that's just your husband. sit in your choices as u might say#obsessing over your first love isn't going to change anything about what you decided to do and who you decided to do it with#but in light of claudia i'm forced to be like hm. well if you just wanted to torment him by dangling yourself in front of him for decades#that would be valid. like you should probably do more and worse but the time for that was before he did the atrocities to your child#so. here we are!#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#the thing is i love claudia in all mediums she's my girl#but this version is so vulnerable and actually desperate for louis to see her and choose her#whereas while that's not absent from book!claudia she is notably higher on both louis and lestat's list of priorities#and i think more of a player. not that show!claudia isn't shooting her shot but u would never catch book claudia joining the bad news cult#because she's that desperate to be loved#book!lestat genuinely wanted her to stop being mad at him for cursing her to exist in the way they do and go back to playing happy families#evil of my evil etc#louis is sick of their mutual misery but armand really had to fuck with his head to bring the madeline situation about#also i am faintly annoyed that we don't see her souring on the possibility of making friends within the coven more directly#like did she conclude they'd turned too inward to be friends the moment she got that dress?#anyway. regardless. does she not deserve love? and mass murder?
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tagged by ko @tofumilanesa for wip wednesday! big shout out to writevember for making me feel like i can actually call any of these works in progress… your guide to my emoji code under the cut
wip!
🪻🐈⬛ - the doc title is still just. YOWLING but i am like 7/8 of the way done with omega yamo fic and hopefully salem isn’t reading this so i can just drop it over a year later with no warning <3
🫃2️⃣ - DEWEY^2 P2!!!! she is almost done (i am lying) but she is so close i can almost taste it. sorry to my pwp that grew its own feelings baby
😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜) - rip i’m not telling you about this one until it’s posted but it IS complete aside from being ao3 formatted and the eight billion edits i inevitably do right before full-sending it
☁️💧 - cloud petey fic, which exists mostly as an embarrassingly large tag on a different blog and is condensing into a narrative about as well as water at 30° N/S. the time loop fic also falls under this description
eternally in progress (short list)
🌑🐕 - tyler borzoituzzi exists… there is an index of scenes/plot points… it plays like a movie in my head…
💯❕- fantastic! ‘verse
👁️👻 - stevie brandon seeing ghosts au, which has eight different (now nine i guess but you haven't seen the mustache adam post yet) plots. sorry
just. rotating like a microwave
🍎 - because they didn’t have a pomegranate emoji, this is what i used for the fic that feels like it should be a 50k connor bedard character study hanif abdurraqib/cathal kelly thesis about legends and mythmaking in sports and eating your young. yes i know pomegranates aren’t actually pomes and apples are but it’s fine
🦈 - the one cat da fuck they doing over there meme but about the sharks just like. in general. more on this at five
tagging @colap1nto, @songsandswords, @whitenikes, @gordiemeow, @acheronist, and anybody else who wants to share!!
#i regret to inform the public (beloved mutuals who read my tags) that we have hit the doldrums re: creativity.#got SO excited because i had no prep for tomorrow and got out unreasonably early and proceeded to do nothing 🤩 zero motivation/inspiration#anyway. being a big baby. have looked at dewey^2 for too long and now hate it which makes me sad because i was on SUCH a roll solving plot#and really i just need to pick something else from my (looks at smudged hand) 10000 other documents but none of them are calling my nameeee#maybe i’ll ao3 format 🕒 -> 🕜 or maybe i’ll read wandering stars (did finish a book this morning) and then hope something strikes me#preferably very aggressively like with the force of a train? OHHHHHH YOU GUYS MAYBE I COULD MAKE SOMETHING FOR HOLY JUMPING MACKEREL FEST#because you know what DID hit me upside the head like a 2x world champ coming from behind with the steel chair WAS BERGY & JOE GUESS WHO#joey first of all did not deserve to lose those games and second of all i am SO immensely delighted i don’t know if it’s on here yet i am#so sure at least one of my beloved drw moots (beth and nik are likely culprits but all of u would) has it on here yet BUT THERE’S SO MUCH#BERGY VERY BLATANTLY CALLING JOE A NERD BC HE KNOWS ALL ABT HIS TEAMMATES &LOVES THEM!! BERGY NOT KNOWING A SINGLE FUCKIN THING ABT ANYONE!#the absolute unsurprised yet still heartbroken disbelief & disappointment of joe saying ‘he uses black tape!’ oh that’s rent-free forever#anyway.#liv in the replies#p.s. it's fic friday now don't worry about how late i am#as always ask away ask about anything in post tags y'all know i love to yap u are always welcome in the inbox or dms#i was trying to be slightly less mysterious about all of these but i am a secret-keeper sorry and also you need to live inside my brain#in order to understand half of what i'm referencing sometimes. sorry.#also there are some un-hockey fic projects i want to do but i have. so little time in my life for anything sometimes that we will make do
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Heritage implies age, these aren’t heritage posts they’re just posts you like
you aren't wrong, i've just decided that maybe that's okay tbh
#not a heritage post#ask#anon#i am fully aware of this. three reasons some of the posts on here are pretty new:#a) season 2 just came out and tumblr's search function sucks. most of the posts i'm seeing after literal *hours* of searching today are new#b) some of those^ posts have got like 20k notes in 24 hours. they may not be old but they're already iconic (ive seen them reposted already#c) it's my blog so im ok with some of the posts just being posts i like :)))#if u want to see older posts then filter the blog for “GO1” or “book omens” and you will get all the ones i've found so far!!#but yeah. idk if there are widely accepted universal criteria for what makes something a heritage post. until someone shows me the rulebook#i am making them up as i go :)))#anyway SORRY im rambling just thought id put that out there until tumblr makes it easier to search for stuff there will probably be at leas#some new posts on here and if u just wanna see the older posts then search for the respective tag on the blog :)))
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Top five mangas?? 👀👀
thanks i'm gonna include manhwa too tho bc i read it more often :)
semantic error made me unlock hitherto undreamt of levels of fun that can best be compared to the profound enjoyment a hetero woman experiences when watching a really good self-indulgent romcom. i previously thought i'm only into exceptionally fucked up bl but this manhwa taught me i'm not above very basic romance if it's well-written, hilarious and sexy and frames weirdness as something that can be appealing and awaken desires
killing stalking was the first bl manhwa i ever read and what an introduction to the genre it was! it's very good but very dead dove do not it so i wouldn't rec it to just anyone. for me, it was very fun binging the whole thing overnight bc why sleep when you can instead plunge deep into the darkest corners of human psyche while scrolling cartoons
twittering birds never fly has the audacity to maintain that slowburn since *checks wikipedia* 2011?? what the fuck?! if semantic error is a romcom twittering birds is a soap opera with no end in sight - and it has me in a chokehold. yashiro is one of the most characters of all time, i hope he admits his feelings for doumeki sometime before i turn 50 but it's still fun to watch him get into increasingly dramatic situations in order to avoid doing just that lol
painter of the night is just self-indulgent. i don't think the plot is any good at all and i don't particularly like the main character but i'm sufficiently compensated for these flaws by the historical setting and yoon seungho. the joseon period costumes are just so fun to look at - at one point i went down a rabbit hole researching those fascinating gat hats. more bl should be set in the past tbh but it probably takes more time and research for the creators. and yoon seungho is just your classic bad boy you want to fix and do in fact fix. the drrrrama of it tho!
the cornered mouse dreams of cheese / the carp on the chopping block jumps twice is probably the least well-known on this list? this short two volume manga was recced to me by a friend and i really liked it bc it features a protag struggling with his sexuality in a way that to me read very aro. it's also about the quarter-life crisis so. all the themes very near and dear to my heart lol
#book tag#i got another ask just like this so i hope you can see the answer anon#ik there are more historical bl manga/manhwa out there so give me recs please if you know some good ones#ooku is on my 2024 tbr#the honorable mentions that didn't make the list:#the pawn's revenge (killing stalking but less fucked up)#here u are (semantic error but not as good and sexy)#love or hate (this is for if you really like soap opera and juicy drama)#just recently read the summer hikaru died and it has great potential but i can't tell for sure till the whole story is out#it's definitely the most creative out of all of these#there's also this ace manga i want to check out - i want to be a wall
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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Books of 2024: A SHINING by Jon Fosse.
Reading this next! It's a shortie (to the tune of seventy-four (74) pages), and the whole thing appears to be one (1) unbroken paragraph, but, hey: at least there's punctuation, I guess? It's about a guy who's driving directionlessly, gets out of the car at a forest, and wanders around on foot as it starts to snow, and when he inevitably gets lost, he meets some weird glowing....entity. The jacket copy calls this "strange, haunting, and dreamlike," which. yeah. I'm here for that. Will report back on how this goes!
#books of 2024#books#book photography#a shining#jon fosse#and for those of u who know: yeah i did in fact acquire this as Driscoll Adjacent don't @ me#i've already read the first page and it seems. Readable. which is good.#like it's not too syntactically strange and esoteric#it is however translated from uh. norwegian i think??#norwegian confirmed#anyway i'm here for Man Lost In Forest Experiences Weird Shit Liminal Flavored#i'm ALSO here for shortie books rn i want a dopamine hit#so this is both writing adjacent and dopamine adjacent >:)#i've got like four stories left in OTHER TERRORS so i might annihilate this one on saturday after birds#oh this also came in my translation box and i love that :D
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y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???
#oh u solved the problem#urself!#like its not even about bing right or wrong its just about literally communicating & i think im doing it BAD#IM NOT AFRAID OF BING “H8ED” ON I JUST#i think i just dont like having the chance of making ppl feel bad?#or soemthing aloong those lines?#theres a line a vry easy line 2 cross#like expressing a comic book opinion right? bc its super easy 2 sway a bunch of ppl#but if ur saying smth u dont like it while some1 does it has the possibility of making that person feel bad#& I H8 THAT...idk y it makes me feel like shit????? @ the possibility???#this feels like smth i should bring up w/a therapist LMAOOOOOOO#but like same thing when i was in class right? giving a presentation i got RLLY SCARED 2 do it bc i was giving an opinion or a fact BUT I#COULD B WRONG ON THE FACT!! which is y i just never did them bc i would cry lol but its just#it kinda feels the same way#its weird bc im fine w/getting shit wrong. its only when i share an opinion when i feel stupid??????? ok not stupid just mean? i think? yea#this is possibly the reason y i get nervous sharing hcs or aus. bc it wont b “canon accurate” & then will like fuck up some1s perception id#its not like any1 reads this lashfkj i just hmmmmmmm theres defiantly smth i should b discovering here i just am not...#i want 2 share my opinion bc its a fucking opinion theres nothing wrong w/it bc its not a fact EXCEPT in the way its a fact of how i FEEL o#THINK?? like its just its strange. i think this has a lot 2 do w/me never bing listened 2 as a child LOL uhhhhhhhh hmmmmmm yeah prolly akj#I FIGURED IT OUT I GOT IT ALLLLLL UNLOCKED#god i hhhhhhhhhhh some1 make a clone of me so i can talk 2 me like a therapist or smth#this is y i cant do therapy actualyl its bc i just keep yapping then by the time im done the therapist always went tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#srry ramblings
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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Let me share my cringe connection with you all
#text#no reblogs because its embarrassing but i dont want to look for the discord message every time i want to#remember the panels i picked out . Ok. so its going here . Look away#If u care about how much i liked the book itself i think its fine all it got out of me was thinking about mitski though#thoughts
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i must be a little tumblr baby born in the tumblr cave cuz i am Not understanding how twitter works
#qktalks#hate this place . whatthe hell is going on#i don't understand the hashtags. i get that it's an organization thing i got that part#but i also see plenty of art posts Not tagged w anything#and yet they're rly popular and have tones of notes. likes? whatever they're called#so how did people find that. the algorithm? how did the Algorithm know to show them that if the post isn't tagged#what is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#not that it matters very much that i don't understand i'll never once post anything here#i just wanna browse art. i have done more blocking of reimob freaks than browse art tho so#wonderful sign. twitter is full of normal people that i don't want to maim#also there's no icon next to names to let me know i follow them which sucks#normally that wouldn't be a huuge problem but rn i'm following mainly japanese accounts#and i <3 can't read their names. or memorize them. they r in a different language w complicated little characters i don't understand#i sound like such a boomer .bury me in the yard#edit actually i rly like following exclusively japanese accounts bc it means whatever text is on my feed i cannot read#this is like looking thru a picture book. i cannot hear anybody's dumbass takes. bliss on twitter? more likely than u think
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you know that joke thats like cw: this game contains scenes?
tfw you have an oc that is just. he just Is a content warning at this point
#toy txt post#i try to be somewhat specific and ill be fucked if he ever gets out to a wider audience who doesnt have any context for#cw headloose but like i really. he really is just. like#his cws always contain so many question marks as i try to figure out how to categorize and quantify his particular brand of fucked up#its very funny but also. save me#its literally always just like. idk. ig gore? hes an oc that cant be killed and he can shapeshift and reconstitute his body as needed#but gore doesnt feel quite right for like. he wants to be turned into a literal pulp and then his body does some horror shit cos hes#fully sentient while thats happening and its turning him on. i wont. go into more detail than that here. theres something deeply wrong with#him. i hate him (lying) hes so fun. until its deeply cursed. inflicting psychic damage on the entire group chat and also myself#some of u would love whatever the fuck he's got going on probably#but alas i cant share him too candidly. sorry. even if censorship wasnt an issue. thats Scary#if i ever make a comic or book or whatever of the oc universe hes from ill have to print zines of it at home myself and hand deliver it to#members of the groupchat in person cos i aint sending him thru the mail#simultaneously oh its not that bad but also more fucked up than u could imagine or whatever idk#idk hes having fun. im suffering for my art.
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its 1am. that means its 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 YEARN O'CLOCK 🥁 everyone is sleeping so i cant get up to write in my Yearn Notebook ™ so i will yap on toober 😁👍
#OH LOVE WHAT A CRUEL WAY TO DIE#Shakespeare could never#yk sometimes i think i too couldve been something similar to Shakespeare had i been born in a time where literature was appreciated#had i been born in a time where good books was the most interesting thing to happen#but we've got AI and subway surfers amd shit now#who will read shit written by a 16 year old girl who just wants to be loved#anyways#does anyone even read the tags?#reply to this with: the cacti are blooming if you read the tags#idk or dont idc#um#its late now#im probably gonna watch a movie but idk what to watch#rec me some movies if u read till here?#moon rambles
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i cried in the car today and then bought items online<3
#i want to tell u about the iteams#here goes i got#a phone case a case for my steam deck a mousepad some chains for my glasses a frieren standee a yoimiya plush some marbles#and 7 books only 1 manga the rest are info books and i also bought my vitamins and got a netflix subscription and got some tape#i got orange tape to put on my piano#text
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