#( he probably listened to Back to Bedlam a bunch of times )

[downs1de]

I believe that unironically Sam is really into James Blunt

[rhapsodynew]

#classic rock news📌

Pink Floyd

Pink Floyd sold the rights to the music catalog of their songs. The deal with Sony amounted to $400 million.

The deal includes the rights to the band's name and portraits of its members, which allows Sony to sell related products (clothing, souvenirs, etc.), as well as produce films and television programs. And, of course, the rights to publish music in various formats. The copyright remained with the musicians.

This deal became another in the list of high-profile purchases of Sony Music that have already taken place, in the summer of 2024, it managed to acquire the rights to the Queen group's music catalog for $ 1.27 billion.

James Blunt

British pop-rock artist James Blunt promised on his social networks that he would change his name if the anniversary reissue of his first album Back to Bedlam (2004) again took first place in the British charts. According to the musician, fans will be able to choose a new name for him.

In 2005, 2.4 million copies of Blunt's debut album were sold. In 2009, their number reached 3 million, which made the longplay the best-selling in Britain in the 2000s. The release includes hits such as You're Beautiful and Goodbye My Lover.

Back to Bedlam will be re-released on October 11.

Tom Hamilton

Life after Aerosmith continues.

Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton said on social media that his new band Close Enemies will give their first concert on October 11 in Nashville. The band also includes drummer Tony Brock, vocalist Chasen Hampton, guitarists Peter Stroud and Trace Foster.

In his post, Hamilton wrote:

"Hi, I need to tell you something about a band called Close Enemies that I play in. We have a bunch of good songs recorded. We are going to release one of them very soon. Meanwhile, on October 11, we are performing in Nashville at an institution called the Eastside Bowl. Please come!"

Later, the bassist also added that the band rehearses a lot: "The songs sound amazing."

A book about Bon Jovi will be released for the band's 40th anniversary.

Genesis Publications and Bon Jovi have announced the book "Bon Jovi Forever". BON JOVI gave Genesis unprecedented access to their entire archive to create an exciting journey through 40 years of the band's history, during which she created 16 albums.

Jon Bon Jovi says: "I never planned what I want people to feel when listening to our songs. But when you compose, it's often the songs that are closest to you that pass the test of time and turn out to be closest to others. If the song is written from the heart, and not just 'worked out', there is a high probability that the listener will find something important in your story."

John himself and his colleagues actively participated in the work on "Bon Jovi Forever", so the publication will have the status of an official one. The exact date has not yet been announced, but it is already known that the book will be available both separately and as part of a box set, which will also include an exclusive seven-inch vinyl record.

The trailer for the documentary "Elton John: Never Too Late" has been released.

"The film follows Elton John as he looks back on his life and the amazing early days of his 50-year career on this emotionally charged, personal and inspiring journey," the synopsis says. - As he prepares for his last concert in North America, at Dodger Stadium, Elton takes us back in time to talk about the extraordinary highs and heartbreaking lows of his early years and how he overcame adversity, violence and addiction to become the icon he is today.

The documentary, directed by R. J. Cutler and David Furnish, premiered on September 6 at the Toronto Film Festival. The world premiere will take place on December 13 on Disney+.

Legendary Yes and King Crimson drummer Bill Bruford, who worked as a liaison with music for 15 years, returned to the stage as a special guest of the British jazz band Pete Roth Trio.

The band's website uses the phrase "jazz without borders". The musician is comforted that "they are creating jazz for a new worship of music that is free from the usual jazz stereotypes."

Bruford announced that he would start recording and releasing soon, on January 1, 2009. His last public concert with Earthworks took place on July 31, 2008. After retiring, Bruford earned a doctorate in music from the University of Surrey and wrote an autobiography, "Bill Bruford: The Autobiography. Yes, King Crimson, Earthworks and More”, which received many positive reviews.

With the exception of a brief participation in the Ann Bailey's Soul House cover band, Bruford's single foundation for the drum kit took place in 2023 at a concert in memory of John Wetton, who participated in the song "Let's Stick Together".

The British band The Cure

She confirmed rumors that their album "Songs Of A Lost World" will be released on November 1. The longplay will be the first for the artists since 2008.

The band also presented the first track from the release of "Alone". According to The Cure's frontman Robert Smith, the nearly seven-minute song helped him understand the focus of the entire album.

The full-length album was recorded at Rockfield Studios in Wales. The gloomy, minimalistic cover was created by a long-time colleague of the team, designer and photographer Andy Vella. The work depicts the 1975 sculpture Bagatelle by Slovenian Janez Pirnat.

Ozzy Osbourne named the most favorite song from his repertoire.

"I have a real weakness for the ballad Mama, I'm Coming Home. The lyrics were written by Lemmy — but I described to him exactly what I wanted to say in it, that is, I set the content," says Ozzy in an interview with Classic Rock. "But I'll tell you what, I don't really have a personal favorite. People always ask me which is my favorite album that I've made — and I don't have one! All my recordings reflect either the fun and chaos or the terrible circumstances that happened to me. Each of them is a reflection of me at that time."

The song "Mama, I'm Coming Home" was released as the second single from the album "No More Tears" in late November 1991. It was one of two collaborations with Lemmy on the album, the other being "Hellraiser".

In an interview with Classic Rock in 2013, Lemmy recalled how he came up with the lyrics of the song.

"I came up with this song," said the late Motörhead leader. "He sent me a text about what he would like to sing, and I think he gave me the title, but that's it. I'm good at it because that's how I write our songs — I come up with a title, and then I write a song based on it. Later, Ozzy and I were doing an interview in the same tent at this festival, and one guy asked: "The song Mama I'm Coming Home is the most personal thing you've written. Was she a big jerk to you?" And Ozzy just said, "He wrote it!"

The frontman of the British band Coldplay, Chris Martin, sang one of the new songs of the band in a karaoke bar in Las Vegas under the guise of another person.

Chris Martin took to the stage in a baggy suit, wig, glasses and with an inflatable balloon in his hand. In a local bar, the musician performed the song "All My Love". This track will be part of the band's upcoming album "Moon Music", which is scheduled for release on October 4. There will be a total of ten tracks in the longplay.

In August, Coldplay's "Music of the Spheres" tour became the highest-grossing rock tour of all time. Before that, the record belonged to Elton John.

Ringo Starr announced the cancellation of concerts in Philadelphia and New York due to his illness.

According to the artist's representative on social networks, Ringo caught a cold and the doctor advised him to rest. Starr played a total of 10 concerts before falling ill. His All-Starr Band now includes Steve Lukather, Colin Hay, Warren Ham, Hamish Stewart, Gregg Bissonnette and Buck Johnson.

We wish Ringo to get well and hit the drum again 🥁

[venzilanddeathcult]

BELATED NEW YEARS LIST OF COOL ALBUMS I DISCOVERED IN 2023 OH BOY THIS POST IS GONNA BE LONG

2023 was without a doubt the year ive listened to the most music in all of my life, so there's quite a hefty bit of albums to list, and i'll try to put them in a loose order of when i listened to them, but no promises!

I will limit it to one album per band, while noting the other ones i could have listened to within the text

Sadly, i didn't get around to hearing The Beggar by SWANS yet, so it won't make this list. that said heres the first one lol

SPIDERLAND

(By Slint)

Also known as the "how the fuck did a bunch of dudes in their early 20s make something this fucking great" album

I first listened to this one at a friend's house since he had it on vinyl, and halfway through the album i was losing my shit and repeatedly exclaiming loudly how fucking amazing the album was

It's very hard to put into words just how fucking good this album is, it's definitely one of the albums that put me onto Post Rock as a whole, and changed the way i view guitar playing pretty significantly

Every song feels immaculately constructed (the weakest one being the short instrumental that comes right before my personal favorite, Good Morning, Captain, the final song of the album that's linked above) and the raw emotional output won me over pretty early into my first listen. It is now my second favorite album of all time, good shit, i urge anyone reading who hasn't listened yet to give it a shot

Give their first album a listen too!

THE POD

(By Ween)

Not much i can say about this album i haven't said before i think, so here are the notes i took about it while listening to it for the first time (on a plane ride)

"Listened to this album during the plane ride Might be one of Ween's best It's so noisy and shitty and gross Only enchanced by the plane ride nausea and the very low energy feel the altitude gives It's Like if the Best album of all time got recorded on the shittiest hardware ever i'm Gonna listen to it a lot I can tell The noisiest part of the [referring to the last song here] song started on the most turbulent part of the ride And I was all for it"

I was already a Ween fan by this point, but hadn't listened to their earlier stuff, especially The Pod since every attempt at listening to it made me genuinely nauseous for some reason, but damn did braving through the album pay off. it's one of my favorite Ween albums and every time i get a fever i put it on to at least find some comfort in the wooziness. big recommendation

OCTAHEDRON

(By The Mars Volta)

I've been a Mars Volta fan since very early 2022, but i didn't get around to exploring their full catalogue until after the release of their comeback album later that same year, with Octahedron being the last of them (the rest i gave first listens to in 2022)

It's a decently strong change from their previous album (The Bedlam in Goliath), which was probably their most intense and chaotic album, although it definitely fell flat in a few aspects (Weirdly produced, some filler that could have been cut out that makes some stuff sound samey, something that wasn't much of an issue with Volta albums up until that TBiG)

It feels like it sort of harkens back to their earlier albums such as Frances the Mute and Tremulant while also going forward in a direction that makes sense considering 2012's Noctourniquet.

It's still not something as well constructed as their earlier albums, but it's a seriously good effort and worth listening to at least once, some seriously catchy and memorable songs in here

IN TIMES NEW ROMAN...

(By Queens Of The Stone Age)

I've been a fan of Queens Of The Stone Age for basically as long as i can remember, which only intensified in the pandemic as i would spend my days listening to Era Vulgaris on loop for hours and hours

There was not a single album from them that i didn't love, something about their entire style is extremely appealing to my ears, and when i heard they would release a new album i damn near shat myself and eagerly awaited for news

Then Emotion Sickness came out, with it's Era Vulgaris-reminiscent sound, ESPECIALLY the chorus and i couldn't be happier, there was absolutely no end to my hype

And thankfully, once the album came out, i realized these motherfuckers STILL have it in them to make a really fucking solid rock album, it seems they shed the slightly more polished sound of Villains and went back to that good old rougher sound they used to have, while not ditching some of the bells and whistles that made their reunion records work

Seriously solid album and i'd recommend it to anyone that enjoys this style of rock. good stuff

Church goes here

CONTEMPORARY MOVEMENT

(By Duster)

Shed away all of those memes about Sisyphus featuring a song off this album and underneath you will find a really emotional slowcore album with such an immaculate vibe i can't help but just. sink into it as i listen, if that makes sense

Before listening to this album i was a big fan of that Experimental Dust bootleg, but had never listened to their other stuff until i did

Almost every song is just oozing with this unmistakably Duster sound that is so perfectly melancholic you cant help but just be right there with them, it's some seriously great stuff, lovely album.

I also listened to Stratosphere, but i didn't listen to it much so i don't feel like it fits in this post, but rest assured it's a damn good time as well. Great album, very sad, should probably only listen to it in a good headspace but you do you

WISH YOU WERE HERE

(By Pink Floyd)

Enough said. its peak

same applies to Animals

A FUCK TON OF ALBUMS

(By SWANS)

No, really, just in 2023 i gave first listens to:

To Be Kind

The Seer

White Light From The Mouth of Infinity

Love of Life

Greed

The Great Annihilator

The Burning World

It's too much to talk about, but SWANS is one of my favorite bands, and honestly, if you're really curious, just shoot me a DM for thoughts on any of these albums haha, i'm always overjoyed to talk about music with people, especially SWANS.

loveless

(By my bloody valentine)

One of my biggest regrets is not listening to this album in full earlier than i did. It's seriously such a fucking incredible experience from start to finish that i can't even find much to say about it that hasn't been said before, just give it a listen

MT EERIE

(By The Microphones)

Sorry kids i havent listened to the glow pt 2 yet cant talk about it

I randomly discovered The Microphones on my youtube recommendations one day while listening to completely unrelated music, but clicked due to the artwork catching my interest and was completely enthralled by their melancholic acoustic sound followed by real intense percussion in some songs, and the flirting with experimentation that goes on throughout the entire album, it's seriously great and it touched me in a way not much music has. Big recommendation

IN RAINBOWS

(By Radiohead)

It's hard to say something about this album that hasn't been said already, so i won't.

Give it a listen, even if you're not a fan of their usual stuff, this album still stands out as a pretty interesting project and i enjoy it quite a lot

Also listened to from them this year: OK Computer and Kid A, heavily enjoyed both but In Rainbows remains my favorite

DOOLITTLE

(By Pixies)

Now for my most listened album of the year, spawned from the same night that got me into Spiderland (my 2nd most listened to album...go figure)

Having listened to Where Is My Mind? upon watching Fight Club, that was sadly the only Pixies song i stuck to for a while, but once i heard this album i kept on digging and digging through it to finally get what it is that made me enjoy this band's sound

It actually took me quite a fucking while to fully "get" this album, but the album slowly earned my full appreciation and became something i'd spend days listening to on loop, enjoying the ride from start to finish, it's a seriously good album, and if you wanna hear where some of that 90s rock dynamic came from, this and Surfer Rosa are considered some of the most notable precursors to it, so there you have it. give it a listen!

CLUBE DA ESQUINA

(By Milton Nascimento & Lô Borges)

LINK TO "Tudo O Que Você Podia Ser" FROM THE ALBUM (10 VIDEOS PER POST LIMIT LOL)

I struggle to choose a singular song to link, because every part of this album is crafted with such intricate musicianship and mix matching of Brazilian tradition with a foreign, beatles-esque flavor which is so smoothly and lovingly woven into the entire record. It's an absolute must for anyone interested in the music of Brazil, and one of my absolute favorite albums of all time. i recommend this one to every person i discuss music with, it's a seriously outstanding achievement of an album. give it a listen.

CENTER OF ATTENTION

(By InI)

LINK TO "No More Words" FROM THE ALBUM

I am a HUGE fan of the Jazz Rap style developed in the east coast during the 90s, and InI's shelved debut is one of those crowning examples i now look to when introducing people to the style. Right from the start the album sets you in it's laid back vibe, with it's nice groovy beats that tastefully sample old jazz records in a way that really adds to the album's whole atmosphere. Great album, give it a try.

DUMMY

(By Portishead)

LINK TO "Sour Times" FROM THE ALBUM

While regrettably not having listened to the rest of their output, this album still manages to blow me away every single time i listen to a song off it. There's something so lovable about the gloomy atmosphere paired with those spy movie ass guitars and absolutely breathtaking vocals. every member plays such a strong part in the album's atmosphere to the point you can pay attention to just one component and still be interested the whole way through. this album is so fucking good. give it a listen

SPEAKERBOXXX / THE LOVE BELOW

(By OutKast)

LINK TO "Church" FROM THE FIRST SIDE OF THE ALBUM

LINK TO "Love Hater" FROM THE SECOND SIDE OF THE ALBUM

Outkast has always been one of my favorites in rap, but i never took the time to listen to their biggest project, the double album Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, which is kind of two solo albums from Big Boi and Andre 3000 (in that order) packaged as an Outkast album, but god damn, they made it work really well.

EVERY single song in this album is a fucking banger (GhettoMusick being one of my favorites), the only thing holding it down are some skits that, while some of them are pretty funny, still leave you just wanting to get to the next track, but anyone who's listened to enough rap albums already knows how this stuff goes (first wu-tang album, anyone?)

One of my favorite rap albums, give it a shot, i guarantee at least 3 songs from it will be stuck in your head after.

PAUL'S BOUTIQUE

(By Beastie Boys)

LINK TO "The Sounds of Science" FROM THE ALBUM

Another one of such cases where every song is a banger, the songs are all so fucking awesomely creative i can't help but have a wide smile on my face every time i listen, the crazy amount of samples in this album really makes it quite a unique listen, especially as a Beatles fan which means The Sounds Of Science is enough whiplash to give J.K. Simmons a run for his money

Really fun album, give it a shot

MELLON COLLIE AND THE INFINITE SADNESS

(By The Smashing Pumpkins)

LINK TO "Tales Of A Scorched Earth" FROM THE ALBUM

I've been a moderate Smashing Pumpkins fan since i was a kid, with Siamese Dream being a favorite, and Drown being one of my favorite songs of all time at that point, but i never took the time to listen to the album that followed it, partly due to it being so massive, but once i took the plunge i spent the next 2 hours sitting in my chair absolutely floored by every song that came my way. This is a seriously impressive album from start to finish and it's one i'll cherish for years to come, every song feels like it's earned it's place, with both the soft and hard songs being equally interesting and ear catching.

Outstanding album, give it a listen.

THE FAT OF THE LAND

(By The Prodigy)

LINK TO "Breathe" FROM THE ALBUM

I'm usually not much of an electronic music guy, but this album really caught my attention after watching Dario Casali's playthrough of Half-Life of all things, where he said he would frequently listen to The Prodigy during development, so i decided to give it a shot, having heard some of their music (Particularly in the film Kick-Ass) and i spent the next week or so religiously listening to this album on loop, it's so endlessly replayable and just fun to listen to that i instantly became hooked. Aside from that, there's not much to say, it's a very fun, energetic album, give it a shot.

THE ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM OF A DOWN DISCOGRAPHY

(By...yeah)

LINK TO "Soil" FROM "System Of A Down"

LINK TO "Prison Song" FROM "Toxicity"

LINK TO "Fuck the System" FROM "Steal This Album!"

LINK TO "Radio / Video" FROM "Mezmerize"

LINK TO "Vicinity Of Obscenity" FROM "Hypnotize" (not sure why people dislike this one?)

Same deal as SWANS, too much to talk about, shoot me a dm about it if you're really that curious, i don't mind.

ALL OF IT IS FUCKING GREAT. GIVE THEM A LISTEN. ENOUGH SAID

F♯ A♯ ∞

(By Godspeed You! Black Emperor)

LINK TO "East Hastings" FROM THE ALBUM

It's hard for me to put into words what listening to this album for the first time did for me. It's one of the most atmospheric, wonderful things i've ever had the pleasure of listening to, all 3 songs in this masterpiece keep me entranced until the very last second, including the very unnecessarily long silence at the end of Providence for the hidden song. I have yet to listen to their next album, which i've been told by a mutual is even better, so i'm very excited for that. Give this one a listen.

MARQUEE MOON

(By Television)

LINK TO "See No Evil" FROM THE ALBUM

god i am not a fan of this album cover

that being said, this album is a pretty nice, post punkish record which reminds me a lot of 80s Talking Heads, but i don't have much to say about it. it's simply a good album, and i recommend it heavily. give it a shot

THE UNNATURAL WORLD

(By Have A Nice Life)

LINK TO "Guggenheim Wax Museum" FROM THE ALBUM

I fucking love Deathconsciousness, but stayed at that album for a while, until, for whatever reason, during my initial playthrough of Dark Souls 1 (great game, by the way, enjoyed it lots) i decided to give it a spin and wound up listening to it for basically the rest of the game. It has this gloomy vibe HANL is known for, but it feels like its played a lot more straight than Deathcon, it feels darker, i dunno.

Very good follow-up, even if i think the previous album is overall stronger, this one is still a great listen

LEAVES TURN INSIDE YOU

(By Unwound)

LINK TO "Radio Gra" FROM THE ALBUM

I regrettably struggle to find much to say about this album, which is a shame because i really do love it a lot.

It has this sound that is at times reminiscent of Slint, which made me immediately fall in love, while still standing out as it's own thing, it's a very good fucking album from start to finish, but that's all i can say about it really, i need to listen to it more, and Unwound's other stuff.

Big recommendation right here

FRANKENCHRIST

(By Dead Kennedys)

LINK TO "MTV - Get Off The Air" FROM THE ALBUM

Dead Kennedys is one of my favorite bands (Old Testament DK anyways, Dead Kennedys without Jello is kinda wack, sorry!), and their previous album, Plastic Surgery Disasters remains one of my favorite punk rock records to date, but i had not yet listened to the latter half of their discography, something i now regret, since it's equally as good.

Frankenchrist is a bit of detour from PSD's VERY harsh sound, sounding a little more rounded, less noisy if that makes sense, but Jello Biafra's biting social commentary and witty writing remains intact through it all and makes for an album as entertaining and awesome as the rest of their work. Seriously great, listen to it.

MAGGOT BRAIN

(By Funkadelic)

LINK TO "Maggot Brain" FROM THE ALBUM

Having started my musical ambitions as an aspiring Funk guitarist (part of why my right hand strums so loosely haha), Funkadelic was always on my radar, with their debut album being one of the albums i listened to the most and looked for inspiration in during the pandemic, but for some reason, i never opted to listen to Maggot Brain until this year, which, as is per usual for albums i dont listen to, was a big fucking mistake, since this album is filled with bangers from start to finish. I love it to death.

An absolute must-listen to any funk rock fans

AT ACTION PARK

(By Shellac)

LINK TO "Crow" FROM THE ALBUM

Being a fan of Steve Albini's work both in production and with Big Black, listening to Shellac eventually was a no-brainer, but i procrastinated on it until a particularly lengthy hospital visit where i had enough time to kill and listened to this album, being taken in by that noisy goodness until the album finished. I struggle to find something to say, but the song structures in this album are so weird and they don't hesitate to stay longer than usual and linger on some chords which gives songs this really punchy vibe i can't describe. Great album.

AND FINALLY....

UNDERTOW

(By TOOL)

LINK TO "Prison Sex" FROM THE ALBUM

I'm a huge fan of TOOL, but never listened to their debut until i saw it on a mutual's top albums list, which convinced me i should give it a shot, and so i did!

...On the fucking last hour of 2023

I shit you not, the album ended in the last fuckign MINUTE of the year. 23:59. Finished listening and immediately got up to await the countdown.

That aside, you can really see how they went from this to Ænima, as it has a lot of the harder parts of that album, with less...esoteric(?) peculiarities inbetween, while still being a really good fucking album and enjoyable from start to finish, there wasn't a single song that had me bored. A worthy album to finish the year with...and this list!

FINALLY finished writing this absolute behemoth of a post, and i hope it at least gets one person to check these albums out.

Here's to a great 2024 for all! Thanks for reading!

[angelaiswriting]

Children (3 of 4) | Michael Gray x reader

[original picture: probably pixabay but i honestly forgot]

✏️ Pairing: Michael Gray x wife!reader

✏️ Summary: Michael and his wife have been invited to Polly’s for a family dinner and have a bomb to drop: they’re expecting their fifth child. (Requested by Anonymous)

✏️ A/N: the prompt I was given was “Could you stop getting her pregnant? Or I’m going to have to get a bigger table for family dinner”. I tweaked it a little to fit the conversation, hope you don’t mind. I’m posting this earlier than my usual posting time because I might have to go visit my aunt soon.

✏️ IMPORTANT NOTE: do NOT send me spoilers about season 5, and do NOT strike up a convo about S5 with me bc only God knows when it’ll be availabe in Italy. Don’t tell me anything about S5, please and thank you 💛

✏️ Warnings: just fluff (and probably more kids than Polly is willing to look after right now)

✏️ Word-count: 2,511

<< part one: children <<  |  << part two: anna and john <<  |  PART THREE: A BIGGER TABLE  |  >> part four: warhorse >>

There is something indescribably peaceful in the sight of his pregnant wife, even when she’s not showing much yet – or, at least, this is what Michael Gray thinks as he helps his daughter anna with her brand-new red polish shoes. He helps his daughter but his eyes are trained on his wife as she secures the twins in their tiny navy blue coats.

His mother has invited them over for another one of her family dinners and has caught the occasion with both hands to celebrate Anna’s fourth birthday one more time – it doesn’t matter that they’ve thrown a party last week, because if Polly Gray decides to take it upon herself to spoil her only granddaughter rotten, then there’s no stopping her.

Michael, on his part, is not complaining, either, not when his mother has so kindly – for Shelby standards, that is – proposed to keep the children over for the night. It’s a blessing, if he has to be honest, and it’s not because he doesn’t love his children, but rather because he’s in desperate need of a peaceful night of sleep. This is the one thing he hasn’t been able to get in a while and despite the fact that the twins have turned two just the months before, they’re already following in on their brother John’s path.

“Daddy?”

He picks Anna up in his arms when he’s done tying the laces of her shoes and he pecks the tip of her nose as he hums in answer.

The girl’s arms are wrapped tightly around his neck before he has the chance to tell her to hold on tight and the second later, she’s pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

“Think Nana will let me sleep in her bed tonight?” she asks and the look she gives him makes him chuckle.

He doesn’t know where this trait of hers comes from, whether from the Gray or the Shelby half of the family; all he knows is that his princess is able to use it to her advance. All she needs is the right look in her eyes and a slight pout on her lips and even the fucking King would do what she says. If she ever ends up working for the family business – he reasons as he puts her down on the ground after the couple of minutes spent sitting on the table of the big room –, she will be a great addition to the team. Clever eyes, even smarter and sharper tongue already at this age, he’s sure there’s nothing she won’t be able to achieve if she sets her mind on it. She had the unyielding stubbornness of the Grays and the blind courage of the Shelbys, and both traits are paired to his wife’s wit and kindness and that’s all Anna will need to succeed in life – or to fall, but Michael is not thinking about it now nor will he think about it later on in life.

“You give her this look,” he simply suggests with a chuckle, “and I’m sure she will. Now go call John, it’s time to leave.”

After that, two-year-old Henry is in his arms while Paul is in his wife’s. It’s always so beautifully weird, to look at his two youngest sons and see them one the carbon copy of the other. They have his green eyes and his wife’s hair and when they laugh, they have his cousin John’s chuckle.

“Michael?”

Y/N is looking at him with the brightest smile on her face when he turns to the side to glance at her.

She’s fucking glowing – he wants to tell her this much. Wants to tell her she’s his fucking star, the light of his life. And he knows it’s her usual pregnancy glow, but she’s so fucking beautiful, so fucking perfect his knees always wobble a little when his gaze lands on her. And he wonders what he’s done to deserve someone like her – to have the chance to fall in love and have a family of his own with her.

“You shouldn’t encourage her.” She’s chuckling, his wife, and all he wants to do is close the distance between them, cradle her face as he holds his son to his chest and kiss her – fucking take her breath away and make her weak in the knees as he pours all he feels for her into the kiss.

“She doesn’t need my encouragement,” he shrugs.

And it’s the truth – whether he tells Anna to use her doe eyes and pleading pout on the next unfortunate soul or nor, his daughter would always do what she thinks is best to reach her goals. At that, she’s a young Polly Gray at heart and Michael often thinks this is the reason why his mother has decided to spoil her, to bend the knee and give her what she wants. She is probably the one truly encouraging her in her antics, seeing more potential in her than she does in her nephews.

Y/N answers with an amused shake of her head and a smile, and Michael knows she agrees with him.

Then, before she has the time to speak, Anna is dashing down the stairs with John at her heels and they’re both laughing. It’s that kind of laughter that fills your belly and your heart even if you’re not the one currently laughing and it still – and always, without the shadow of a doubt – makes you smile. It brings you back to a childhood forever gone and it reminds you of the weight that has settled on your shoulders growing up. And while that weight is still there and always will be, it’s suddenly lighter, not that heavy to carry as you end up chuckling.

“Children!” His wife doesn’t need for her voice to boom in the hall of their mansion, for their children always listen to her. They just know it’s better to listen to their Mummy rather than to displease her. “John, take your sister’s hand,” she says, shifting Paul on her other hip. “And Ann, you can play hide-and-seek with your brother and your cousins when we get to Nana’s house, yeah? Not before.”

Unsurprisingly, the siblings listen and as Michael watches John take his sister’s hand in his hold, there’s pure, scorching pride bubbling up in his heart. He looks at them and the only thought – the only prayer – in his mind is: please, don’t grow up.

All he wants to do is stop time and enjoy his children’s childhood – their laughter, their games, even their cries in the middle of the night because they’ve just woken up from some unpleasant dream. He wants for John and Anna and Paul and Henry – and even his fifth unborn child – to remain young forever, to not know the shadows that lurk in the daylight, to not feel unsafe because Daddy and his family have made themselves moronic enemies.

Sometimes he thinks of Esme when this wish comes up and he wonders where she and the kids might be. He wonders whether they’re safe, alive, happy as both Shelbys and Grays are still stuck in sticky quicksands.

*

Polly’s house is a bedlam, even though a much quieter one now that the children have been fed and are full, playing in the living room as the adults still sit at the dining table.

It’s quiet and the smoke of his cigarette seems to tickle Michael’s skin as he inhales it. The cigarette is light between his fingers, but it’s also an anchoring weight that keeps him tied to this world as he floats in his own, private bubble of fatherhood happiness.

Anyone that looks at him sees his glow just like he can see his wife’s. He’s not as heavied-down as he used to be once. His step is lighter, his smile is brighter and there’s a contagious twinkle in his eyes that just wasn’t there before John’s birth. It just gets bigger and brighter the more children he has and right now…

Right now he wants to scream from the rooftops that another one is in the oven, slowly baking, and that he loves his wife so much that he’d have ten more children with her. Boys, girls, twins – it doesn’t matter, it never does. He just wants to give her the gift of motherhood one more time – and then, one more time – and to be given that of fatherhood again and again and again.

He lives for his children. Sometimes, he truly does. He wakes up in the morning and they’re his first thought and when he has to leave for work early in the morning, when the house is still floating in slumber, he presses a kiss to each of his children’s forehead and he looks at them for a second or two with a dreamy smile on his lips. And he knows – he just does – that his day is going to be okay.

They’re also his main concern – as it rightfully should be. And he wants to give them the best life he can afford. And if they asked, he would give them the moon because he’s just so utterly theirs that his heart aches and warms him up from the inside.

And when he looks at his family – at Tommy, finally smiling; at Finn and his lovely girlfriend; at Arthur, finally happy with Linda at his side, and then at his mum, glowing as bright as the sun as she sits there, with the people he loves like her children –, he feels at peace. There are no enemies here, no dangers, just a bunch of probably dysfunctional but nonetheless still happy people drinking and smoking because fuck, it’s so good to have a family these days.

And it leaves his lips before he realizes the words are there, pressing behind his teeth.

“Y/N and I are having another kid.”

His voice is soft and faint, and his heart is even lighter. He almost feels high – almost – and it’s the warm ecstasy of something far better than cocaine. And despite the confession not being loud, all conversations stop and hang in the air as all eyes turn to look at him.

The silent is buzzing and in the background, playing in another room, everyone can hear the children laugh and talk together as Anna – the only girl – tries to organize some game where she is the only commander.

“Is this a plan or…” Arthur’s question fades into silence as his cousins and sister-in-law and mother process what Michael has just said.

That Y/N and I are having another kid feels almost like a bomb dropped when nobody was expecting it and the deflagration confuses the ground for a moment before life starts breathing again.

“The doctor says I’m eight or nine weeks in,” his wife answers.

Michael takes his cigarette from his lips with his left hand and shifts his right on the table to take his wife’s hand in his. He loves her – he looks at her and that’s his only thought. Love bubbles up beneath his skin, love buzzes through his veins, love fills his belly and his heart alike and he feels light, peaceful, at ease.

It takes Polly a while to talk, to form words in her mind first and in her mouth later. And when she eventually breaks the trance enough, Tommy has already stood up to wrap his cousin into a hug.

“Another one?” There’s clear shock and surprise in his mother’s voice as she looks up at him from her chair, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Michael shrugs and his wife chuckles as she stands up to let the men kiss her cheeks in their usual congratulatory manner.

“Are you… Are you two competing with John, by any means?”

John is still a sore and delicate button, one no one ever pushes, but today’s different. Today John’s death isn’t as painful, and his blood on his pristine shirt isn’t as crimson. It’s a throbbing pain in the back of their mind, sure, but it’s not the mind-shattering, heart-stopping memory it’s used to be for a while.

“The more of us out there, the fewer problems we’ll have, right?” Michael jokes, pulling his wife into his side and planting a sloppy kiss on her lips.

Y/N beams, eyes closed and smile wide as she melts in his arms and he can’t wait to be back home. He can’t wait to be back home alone with her and show his wife how much he loves her all over again – how much he loves her and their children and their slowly-growing (or quickly-growing, as Polly would insist) family. How much he loves his domestic life and his warm wife and the rascals he has for kids.

What damage could one more bring?

They all chat away happily as they take their seats and Polly is the only one who’s silent. No one pays her any attention for a minute or two, but when the take her silence in, all chatter stops.

“Don’t you think it’s time to… take a step back for a while?” His mother is downing her drink when Michael looks at her. “You know, take a break, enjoy peace for a while before going for another?”

He’s surprised. And sort of scared. He never thought his own mother would be against him becoming a father one more time, but now that she’s talking like this… His blood slowly turns cold, the grip he has on his wife’s hand turns tighter and he’s suddenly too terrified to move a muscle.

It’s like his happy bubble bursts – it flies too close to a thorn and the second after, there are only minuscule droplets of water raining down.

Polly grins then, though, and she chuckles and when she does, the blood starts flowing again in his veins. Relief washes over him and it all happens in a fraction of a second: one moment he’s tensing up like a violin’s string, the next his back is relaxing against the chair and he turns to glance at his wife with a look in his eyes that can only mean oh, thank God!

There’s a third moment to that quick metamorphosis of events: Polly pulls him up to his feet and has his face in her hands in a second before she kisses his cheeks. And he’s never seen her this happy.

“For fuck’s sake, Michael!” She’s laughing and nothing has ever felt sweeter than the sound of his mother’s laughter in this moment. “Stop getting Y/N pregnant or I’ll need a bigger table for family dinners!”

They all join in on her laughter when Arthur adds a “Or a bigger house” and the happiness is contagious and scalding and for once they all laugh like Michael’s children when they play with each other.

Michael and his wife are planning to have one more kid, though. Don’t tell Pol and the Shelbys!

Feedback and PB requests are welcome! ❤️

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ask)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892  @mblaqgi

Peaky Blinders: @whimsylavender @thethyri @friendleyneighbourhoodvillain  @flowers-in-your-hayr @oddsnendsfanfics @medievalfangirl

People that might be interested: @sweetvengeancee @kellydixon01

[aesop1]

clumsy [3]

pirate!chanyeol x reader

a/n: hello! sorry for the wait, school has really been something lol. thank you for your patience, i wanted to go into a different sort of route from other pirate stories, but here i am going through the same typical fairy tale route. please enjoy!

word count: 4.7k

warnings: more cursing, implied smut (?)

(i do not own gif)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

----------------------

the sun bathed your skin in a warm glow, the tall grass licking at your legs as you pounced through the flowered fields. your giggles filled the dreamlike atmosphere around you while you bounded forth into the sea of flowers. you yelped as you tripped, tumbling to the ground with no mercy given from gravity. luckily, the soft bunches of flowers cushioned your fall, causing no damage to your delicate self. however, that didn't stop you from bursting into tears. as quickly as you started, you stopped when you felt arms hugging your body.

"aww, sweetie," a soft voice cooed to you, rubbing your back and coaxing the tears to stop. you sniffled as you heard the woman's voice hum to you in a comforting manner. "you're alright, no need to cry." your eyes slowly began to close as she rocked your dazed form back and forth against her, her voice fading away into a distant whisper. "mommy's here, she'll never leave you."

the first sensation you had felt was the throbbing sensation thrumming against your skull. your already closed eyes shut tighter as you winced in pain, grumbling aloud and turning over onto your side. you tried to go back to sleep, but the agonizing pounding in your head grew too much. painstakingly slow, your eyes cracked open to find yourself in a room of medical equipment, illuminated by the sun's familiarly bright rays shining through the porthole. various surgical knives and ailments littered the tables bordering the small room, and two beds sat opposite one another. seated at a desk in front of the opposite bed sat yixing, someone you haven't had a conversation with yet.

"you're awake," he stated into the still room, turning in his chair to face you. you felt a sense of relief and he gave you a tenderhearted grin; the same grin you'd give to passerbys on the street. he stood up with a sigh and walked over to your side. you stared up at him helplessly, your head swathed with pain and what appeared to be bandages from my peripheral vision. he cupped your jaw, turning your head side to side and humming. "it's only been a few hours, but I should check your stitches. so, I'm going to--"

"my stitches?" you shouted in disbelief, about to shoot up on the bed, but collapsing before you could make it even a centimeter up. "what do you mean stitches? what happened to me?" yixing stared down at you in amusement, chuckling and shaking his head as he cautiously unwrapped your bandages.

"you seriously don't remember your fall on deck?"

"I fell again?" you gaped up at him. he nodded, crumpling the used bandages into a pile in his hands.

"I didn't see the whole fiasco. I was down here when I heard a rather sickening thunk above me, so I went to check it out and I saw you dangling by your ankle on the sail post." he tossed the bandages aside and assisted you in sitting up. "you were unconscious, so i brought you down, but you had lost a bit of blood from the split in your scalp."

"I split open my head?" you questioned, voice monotone in dread of your near death experience.

"you did indeed," he patted your scalp with a cloth, causing you to wince every few taps. "no need to worry though. I stitched you up and you're good as new. I didn't even need to shave that side of your head so you're welcome."you would've fainted right then and there if it weren't for the day flinging open and a disgruntled pirate barreling into the room.

"yixing, we need to talk," the man announced. upon closer inspection, you discovered it to be minseok, the eldest on the ship.

"minseok, I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times; just because I'm the doctor of the ship doesn't mean I'm your psychologist either. I could care less if you fall into bedlam from one more day on this ship."

"I can't take this isolation, I'm going mad," he collapsed onto the opposite bed, apparently not noticing your poor state. "there's no where to go. everywhere I look is the same godforsaken blue I see everyday of my life. I've never hated a color so much, it's everywhere. I look up and it's a blue sky, I look down and it's a blue ocean."

"uh huh," yixing mumbled as he wrapped my head back in clean bandages.

"the closest excitement we've gotten is the girl, but I haven't seen her all day so now I'm back to my thoughts, and that's never good."

"well, it's your lucky day," yixing turned away from you to toss your older bandages into the trash bin. before minseok could question him, he spotted you.

"oh hello," he bowed his head respectfully to you, giving you a wide, gummy grin. "I'm minseok."

"I'm (y/n)," you nodded your head towards him, cringing at the incessant throbbing reminding you of your incident from earlier.

"what happened to you?"

"I'm not sure. had something to do with me falling again and cracking open my skull basically." at that, he let out a laugh before clamping his mouth shut.

"I apologize, oh my, I'm so sorry." you smiled, remembering how frantic he had been when he first entered the room.

"no need, I fall a lot," you continued, keeping the conversation flowing and trying to get his mind off of his predicament by telling him about your various incidents. eventually, he had grown so comfortable, he began telling stories about himself to you. somehow, yixing joined in the mix and the three of you were easily tossing banters around like old friends.

your bonding time was abruptly cut by the opening of the door. in peeked a head of black curls, a dead giveaway to the captain of the ship. he scanned the room with his large eyes before landing on you and squinting.

"you've been hiding in here all day when I specifically commanded you to meet me on the deck after breakfast?" he had a rough and unnecessarily angry tone to his voice while he stared daggers at you.

"I did go to the deck," you answered simply, your enthusiasm from before washing away with his presence until you felt like a student trapped in a lecture. "then I nearly died and I've been here recuperating."

"you nearly died?" his jaw dropped and his expression contorted into that of confusion mixed with shock. "how does that happen? I've been on deck all day."

"well you weren't there this morning when I left the kitchen." you snapped back, clenching your jaw tighter and tighter the more he spoke to you.

"you're telling me," he pushed the door open fully, stepping in and never taking his eyes off of you. "that in the 5 minutes I went to my quarters to find a hat." he took a large step towards you, standing right at the edge of your bed. "you somehow got into some freak accident that nearly cost your life." he jabbed his finger onto your forehead, causing you to hiss out in pain at the close proximity to your actual cut. for a second, you could've sworn you saw a foreign emotion cross his eyes. remorse perhaps? it was too soon to tell before his stoic expression came back and he turned to yixing. "alright, incident report."

"head fracture," yixing pointed to you, then over to minseok. "pain in my ass."

"real humorous, you good for nothing doctor," minseok huffed out and leaned back into his bed, closing his eyes as if he were about to rest.

"minseok, you're on lookout."

"yes, captain," he begrudgingly stood on his feet before lugging his body out the door and up to the mast. chanyeol turned to yixing, pointing downwards towards the floorboards.

"I need inventory on all of our ammunition."

"sure thing, captain. you've got a bad feeling today?" chanyeol sighed through his nose, arms crossed over his chest and peering out the window.

"I hope my hunch isn't true today." with that, yixing exited the room, leaving you and chanyeol alone. chanyeol remained by the window, eyes darting to and fro over the waves of the ocean, the same ocean which somehow made a pirate go mad. "scale from one to ten, how painful is your injury?"

you hesitated for a moment, trying to process the aching in your crown, but found yourself distracted. you've only been here a day, but you've never seen chanyeol like this. his lips were pursed into a thin line, eyebrows frowned and probably wrinkling his forehead beneath his bangs. what a strange look for a pirate. let alone the fear that was written across his face, but the soft and fluffy curls which rested atop his forehead and nearly hid his large, mahogany tinted eyes. his eyes were rather expressive, like a window displaying everything hidden behind his cold exterior. nonetheless, you had to admit he was undeniabley handsome. almost boyish in a way. you could definitely see yourself falling susceptible to his charms if he were an ordinary customer to your father's saloon. would he have been sweet? gentle? easy going? or would he remain this heartless, assertive dictator who tried to shoot fear into every person's heart?

"I asked you a question, I expect an answer," he spat out, finally turning to face you.

"7," you quickly sputtered as you shook yourself from your thoughts.

"fine, you may stay here until you reach a 6. then find me," he began making his way to the door before halting. "try not to kill yourself this time around, bungler."

your heart collapsed at the familiar sting which followed that damned name. heat rose to your face, your hands trembling as memories of your tainted childhood flashed through your mind. before you could stop yourself, you were on your feet, stomping out the room. you were blinded with a haze of anger, and you knew this wasn't the real you, but you couldn't stop the hand that grabbed at his shoulder and yanked him back to face you.

"listen to me," you seethed, finger jabbing at his chest much like he had done to your forehead a few moments prior. "I can deal with your superiority complex, and I can deal with your useless tasks, but you never, and I mean never, call me that again."

chanyeol was taken aback to put it simply. this was the second time you snapped at him, speaking to him like a mere nuisance rather than the captain he is. the first time it, your outburst rubbed him the wrong way. he was more vexed than he had ever been, and you were supposed to be his slave. this time, it still left him fuming, but with a tinge of something else coinciding with your outburst.

something stirred within the depths of his stomach, like a single match lit in a tundra. his feeble flame sparked into a torch when you sneered at him, a low growl emanating from your chest. with no answer on his part, you pivoted and marched back to the infirmary.

the flame continued to mock chanyeol, tormenting him with thoughts of you and visions of you. it began as general notions about you; what job to give you next, your intentions with his crew, your injury. flashes of you began appearing in his mind. your full locks of hair, the glint in your mischievous eyes. the flush of color across your cheeks the shade of coral, the light freckles dusting over the bridge of your nose. the gentle plump of your lips, the curvature of your thighs. your hands shakily slipping your shirt off, his hands roaming the expanse of skin open to him. him swallowing your moans whilst coaxing you closer and closer to your peak--

shaking his head, he tried to clean his mind of his sinful thoughts, clearly finding himself vulnerable to the only woman on board. yes, he'll decide to blame his train of thoughts on his lack of attention. he made a mental note to visit the brothel once they reach land. they were slowly but surely making their way back to civilization, to recuperate from their long expedition and give them a day off the sea. chanyeol was sure he'd meet his demise to none other than minseok if they don't get off the ship by the end of the week.

a churning in his guts reminded him of his earlier concerns, and he stared out past the horizon, scanning the general vicinity yet seeing nothing out of the blue. his nerves didn't settle.

"are you okay?" the voice of junmyeon sounded behind the conflicted man, breaking him out of his subconscious. "yixing told me you were having that feeling again."

"yeah," chanyeol sighed and leaned against the wooden railing, picking at the stray splinters jutting out of the old work. "I really don't know what to think anymore."

"why's that?" the older man stared out into the ocean, admiring the depth of the blue before him, parallel with the depth of the ocean itself; vast in every aspect. junmyeon always compared himself to the ocean he's submitted his life to, and always finds serenity in the fact that the waters have given him a life of no worries. glancing over at his captain, however, showed the concern deep within his troubled soul. "you've rarely been wrong before. we should be worried about the potential of other pirates nearby."

"you're probably right," the tension in chanyeol's forehead remained as stressed as before. junmyeon pursed his lips and twiddled his fingers.

"is it the girl?" at those words, chanyeol's neck snapped towards the man speaking. "I figure she must be the case because she's the only variance in our day to day life, besides your gut feeling." there was a brief silence that settled between the two, comfortable with only the sounds of the ship cutting through the currents. the mention of your presence brought a fresh shade of scarlet on chanyeol's cheeks as his confusing feelings resurfaced again that day.

"I don't know what I'm feeling," chanyeol explained, planting his forehead on his clasped hands. "I should hate her. she snuck onto my ship, she's yelled back to me; for all I know, she could be turning my men against me right under my nose."

"and yet?" chanyeol turned to look at junmyeon who was giving a knowing grin to him.

"look, I haven't been with a woman in years. that's all this is. just a simple case of loneliness." junmyeon snickered at this, facing the boards of the deck beneath him and shrugging.

"whatever you say, captain." another series of silence made its way between the two as they allowed their conversation to ingrain itself into their memories for safe keeping, away from the ears of the others. junmyeon didn't know much about you, but he did know he's never seen kyungsoo and sehun so happy to be awake at breakfast. you truly were having affect on the others, and he hoped it was for the better.

"captain!" a voice hollered from the top of the mast. the two men looked up, spotting their eldest peering out with his eye buried in a brass monocular. "ship south bound!"

chanyeol whirred around, rushing to the opposite side of the vessel and squinting out where minseok stared. in the distance, there was a small black speck in the otherwise tranquil state of the ocean. his heart sped up at the possibility of his feeling being correct. if so, disaster would present itself to the crew of exo.

"as steady as she goes," he called out to jongin manning the wheel. "let's not go into a frenzy for a potential supply ship."

"I'll keep watching," minseok announced, keeping his watchful eye on the boat. chanyeol, kept staring, trying to spot the two vertical trapezoids on the flag, but having no luck.

"do you think it's bangtan?" junmyeon asked from behind him.

"let's hope not," chanyeol replied, voice solemn in worry. "keep the girl in the infirmary. I don't want her anywhere on deck."

-------

you lied on the bed, humming the same tune over and over again as boredom continued to seep into your being. there wasn't anything to do in the infirmary, absolutely no sources of enjoyment anywhere. at this point, you were willing to go to chanyeol to start working if it weren't for the nonstop pain emanating from your head. you must've had a concussion now from falling off the roof of your restaurant, into the ocean, and on the deck. either that, or you just have the thickest skull in existence. nonetheless, you were determined to stay in bed to avoid chanyeol.

you despised the way he spoke to you. you knew you were suppose to be a slave, that you were supposed to owe him your life since he didn't just let you drown the first time you fell over, but you just couldn't stop hating him.

why did he force his own man to risk his life for yours?

you shook that thought away, continuing to broil away with your anger. you hated how he always wanted to exude dominance over everyone, as if you'd fall victim to his charms instantly. you scoffed internally at that. he really did think you would just succumb to his good looks. curly black hair, piercing obsidian gaze, broad shoulders, tall stature, pouty lips. you could just throw up looking at him. you'd rather be found dead than willingly in the arms of that man.

how inviting his arms looked, though; so secure. his chest must be so comfortable to lie on. he must just exude warmth from how large he is.

the click of the door opening shocked you back into reality, sitting up and staring at the person walking in. you sighed in relief when you were met with the face of junmyeon until you realized the only reason he was here was to send you up to chanyeol.

"I'm not healed yet, so tell chanyeol to mind his own business for the day," you snapped, burying your head into the pillow and facing the wall.

"I'm not here for that." you hesitantly rolled over just as he sat in the chair yixing once sat in. he seemed resolved, yet not exactly at peace. he met your scrutiny with a smile. an understanding and trustworthy smile one would give a friend. that was enough for you to give in and leave him be. "I'm here to keep you company."

"why?" you questioned him, an unnecessarily hostile tone slipping through. to this, he shrugged and began small talk with you. you were still weary of his intentions, yet you proceeded to accept his company.

it felt like time barely passed as you and junmyeon continued to get to know each other. he was very easy going and polite, listened to every word you said and gave thorough and thoughtful replies. somehow in less than an hour, he had become a brother to you. maybe you were trusting him too quickly, but how could you not with how genuine and open he was with you.

giving one last laugh at the story just told to you, you rested your cheek on the feathered pillow beneath you, sinking into its plush comfort. closing your eyes was a grave mistake as a flash of chanyeol appeared in the darkness, a radiant smile he's never given you before somehow perfectly conjured in your psyche like a portrait. this had your eyes shooting open in am instant to see junmyeon still giving soft giggles at his memory.

"why are you here?" you asked again, expecting an answer this time.

"what?" he asked, still delusional and happy from the conversation.

"why did you come here? why are you keeping me comfort? what's your motive?"

"motive? I have no ulterior motives to being here with you," he answered, as always never showing any sign of anger.

"junmyeon, please be honest with me," you mumbled out, voice as soft as possible as if trying not to startle him away. there was a long moment of silence as he analyzed your facade, trying to formulate an answer.

"chanyeol sent me here," he replied before he could stop himself. "he didn't want you on the deck."

"why wouldn't he want me on the deck?" you asked, a sliver of hope piercing its way to you. hope for what, you had no clue. all you knew was you were anticipating his answer.

as junmyeon opened his mouth, a deafening bang echoed through the halls. junmyeon sprung up from his seat, flinging the door open and shutting it. you followed along only to get stopped by the door which was now locked.

"junmyeon?" you called out, hearing the loud commotion from the floor above you.

"stay in here," he ordered. his footsteps faded away as you kept yanking at the door, a useless attempt on your part since it was definitely not opening. another bang, and more clamor following. backing away, you scanned the room for anything useful. you grabbed a small scalpel to pick the lock, but failed for to your lack of knowledge on locksmithing. you tried kicking the door to no avail due to your lack of me strength. at this point, you couldn't feel the pounding in your head from the adrenaline injecting itself into your bloodstream again.

with no other choice, your eyes fell upon the porthole bringing light into your dim predicament.

-------

"what's going on?" junmyeon shouted as he reached the deck, seeing his fellow crew mates running about in a frenzy. easily spotting the giant meters away, he rushed over to him.

"status report?" he asked, spotting the ship from before, but significantly closer.

"it's a royal naval ship of Loicasum," chanyeol explained.

"we're in no man's land, they shouldn't be chasing us."

"I know," chanyeol pulled out his own spyglass and aimed it at the ship. "fuck, it's bangtan."

"bangtan?" junmyeon sputtered out. "how did they get their hands on a naval ship? not only that, the fastest one of that country."

"I haven't the slightest idea." chanyeol ran over to the wheel where a frantic jongin stood. dismissing him, chanyeol took the reigns of the ship and began turning it as quickly as possible. "sehun, jongdae, hoist the main sails."

"what are you doing?" jongin asked, more calm now that he didn't have to control their direction.

"I'm going to lose them."

"how are you going to do that?"

"I do not know. I've never sailed these waters here." jongin choked on his sharp intake of breath, coughing at the words just spoken by their supposedly wise leader. "what are you--"

jongin whipped his head over to the gasping body climbing onto the deck soaking wet.

"(y/n)?" baekhyun ran over to you, hoisting you up into a standing position. "are you alright?"

"I'm fine," you heaved out, breathing erratic while you tried to recuperate from your swim and your climb. you turned your head and spotted an enraged chanyeol steering the ship whilst glaring at you. already knowing him by now, you made your way over to his station.

"how did you fucking get out," he hissed out through gritted teeth, staring ahead of him.

"I crawled out of the porthole and seam over to the ladder on the side of the ship." chanyeol wanted to yell. he wanted to personally lock you in one of the cells of the lower levels to ensure you never get out. he wanted to shield you from the dangers lying outside, yet here you were, sopping wet for the umpteenth time since he first met you and with a head injury just to defy him. he couldn't argue that he thoroughly admired your determination and will. he'd never met a more obtuse, thick headed girl like you, and he never fell for someone as quickly as he had for your soaking form.

"chanyeol, you're headed straight for the Sereno," jongin alerted the stupefied man who quickly turned his head to find he had already sailed his crew into the densely fogged area.

"what is this place?" you asked quietly, an eerie stillness to the atmosphere as if all time had stopped.

"this is the Sereno," jongin explained.

"this isn't Sereno, okay," chanyeol berated, continuing to go through the wall of mist.

"then what is it, chanyeol? because it's really looking a lot like Sereno." jongin rasped out.

"what is Sereno?" you asked again, more weary due to jongin's quick temper. neither of the men spoke, just merely staring out into the abyss. you felt a gentle tug on your arm and stumbled into sehun.

"Sereno is a mythological fog the Spanish say brings evil upon those who enter it." sehun explained briefly. "again, it's mythological. but I have no explanation to why there's just a cloud of fog in the middle of the ocean so suddenly."

"how do you know this?"

"I read a lot of fairy tales, there's not much to do when sailing."

everyone was quiet as chanyeol persisted through the unknown. it was practically night time from how dense the fog was, absorbing all sources of light like a black hole. sehun kept a grip on your elbow, making sure to not lose you to whatever may lurk in here. no one spoke a word, and no one could hear the ship railing them before. the Sereno had saved them from one danger, only to put them into another.

eventually, sharp rocks began sprouting from the murky waters, gradually growing in height and width. you found yourself clinging to sehun as fear began nibbling away at your resolve. you buried your head into his shoulder when the ship abruptly stopped besides one of the towering stones, resembling a watch tower of sorts. appearing from a window in the tower was a man in black cloaks, face obscure from the lack of light.

"where are we?" chanyeol asked the man. he responded to chanyeol in a voice too low for you and sehun to hear from your distance. chanyeol replied back, confusuon apparent in his faded tone. a moment later, chanyeol's silhouette retreated to the center of the deck where you and sehun were, the rest of the crew gathering. "he says we've reached some Isle of something. past this point, there's a land where we can recuperate and restock."

"that sounds great, and we can hide away from bangtan." minseok clapped his hands together, ready to plant his feet on stable ground.

"no, not great," sehun whispered out, causing everyone to turn to him. "this is the Isle of Lusresmo. it's the land of ancestral beings. in books, it's basically Tartarus except these Titans at very much so living."

"are these your stories again?" jongin groaned out.

"yes, they are," sehun sassed out, pulling you closer to him for reassurance. "and I know they're real now that we've gone this far."

"and this is as far as we'll get," chanyeol added. "even if we wanted to face these ancestors, we can't get passed. he says only 'marked ones' may enter."

"oh yes the marked ones," sehun nodded, understanding exactly what chanyeol was talking about. "each ancestor has one emblem which passes down from one descendant to another. they're not necessarily birthmarks since they're actual pictures. they kind of look like tattoos."

"by pictures, can you elaborate?" yixing asked, suddenly very interested in the topic at hand.

"oh it can be really anything, most typically animals, but they can be other things like boats, instruments, weapons."

"okay, that's all I needed," yixing extended his hand out to you, grabbing your bicep and pulling you from sehun's grasp.

"what are you doing?" chanyeol quickly asked, following after you two as yixing stepped up to the cloaked man. he spun you around so you could face him and smiled down at you. his hands reached for your hair and pushed it aside, revealing the back of your neck to the man. a moment of silence passed, tension thick in the air as you waited for a response.

without any sort of warning, the ship pushed forward, continuing it's trek through the dense fog.

-----------

taglist: @serendibidibidis​ @mrinalexo

[ghostssona]

Dr. Vincent A. Bedlam

Name: Dr. Vincent Azazel Bedlam Date of birth: 31st October, 1862 Date of death: 21st August, 1887 Age when they died: 25 Cause of death: electrocution/shrapnel damage (technically the electrocution only knocked them out, they actually bled to death because of the shrapnel) Are they in Button House, or a different location?: yes; rented and lived in the attic before they died. (If they live at Button House) What are their thoughts on the ghosts there?

Pat: very much appreciates his kindness and the fact that he lets them talk about their experiments a lot!! at is a gift

Thomas: loves his poems! lovely chap that thomas, just a shame he tends to startle him so much

Fanny: lovely host! very lovely! the screaming at night is a bit much though but its fine!

The Captain: technically messed about with the radio a lot while he was alive because they were so fascinated by it. nice enough chap though! even if they dont talk too much

Kitty: Enthusiastic Friend! almost as enthusiastic as him, even if she doesnt always seem to understand what hes talking about (neither does he sometimes)

Robin: GOOD GRIEF that man is from times beyond living memory that is FASCINATING

Mary: they think shes quite nice! granted they havent talked to her too much, but she is very nice!

Julian: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Humphrey: Fascinated by the whole ‘detached head’ thing, would ask more questions about it but that seems to be a bit rude around here

The Plague Ghosts: lovely bunch! they understand modern heating more than they do thats for sure! 

Jemima (the little girl): frequently tells her fun facts about science, generally gets along with her like a kooky weird uncle whose a bit strange and loud but generally wellmeaning

Do they have any special ghost powers?: can mess about with electrical things and make them do weird things If they could be seen by a living human, what would their response be?: elated evil-sounding cackling, “AT LAST! IT WORKED! TRULY THIS IS A FANTASTIC DAY FOR SCIENCE” What do they look like?: bright green eyes, giant burnt electricity scar on the left side of their body. short-ish, unkempt brown hair with a white streak going through it. wears an old howie-style black labcoat, underneath which is probably a plain white shirt, black slacks, heavy steel-toe boots and suspenders. possibly a bowtie. definitely sort of dishevelled. goggles and thick gloves. a bit burnt and covered in shrapnel wounds but its fine! Which of the Friends would they insist they were?: more interested at poking around and seeing how the tv works than watching the actual show Other Headcanons:

-switches between they/he pronouns because science doesnt need a gender

-originally a lord’s child, estranged because of their strange morbid fascinations. and the whole 'being trans’ thing. they chose their entire name themselves!

-dr vincent a. bedlam might have an evil name. and an evil laugh. and an evil aesthetic. and just a generally creepy evil vibe about him. but genuinely he Is very nice and loves sharing his ideas and knowledge with friends/anyone who will listen to him for more than five minutes. he just, uh, comes off a bit strong a lot of the time

-dreadful posture, but Terrifyingly Tall when stood up straight. goes from 5'6ft slouched over to 6'3ft standing up tall

-after witnessing a seance, he was pretty much like “god. i could do this SO MUCH BETTER with SCIENCE”, and then set out to make a machine that could talk with the dead! and i mean. technically it worked in the sense that it blew up and made them dead so now they, being a ghost, can talk to ghosts. 

but like for a while afterwards they were like convinced it has worked so well that not only can they now see and talk to ghosts, they can also phase through objects like a ghost! amazing! just wait until the scientific community hears about THIS, fuck you edison you cheap hack IM the cool one now nobody has the heart to tell them for a bit frankly he figures it out after a while and like. mopes for a bit but then springs back like “WELL! seems like my new goal is to communicate with the living! any living idiot can be a scientist but to be both a ghost AND a scientist at the SAME TIME will be revolutionary!” -absolutely fascinated with modern technological advances. was floored when the radio became a thing. lost their goddamn marbles when the car was invented. nearly died again from excitement when the tv was introduced. still not over fancy coffee machines. please dont show them the internet/smart devices they will go more feral than they already are

[weeklyhumorist]

Joey Chestnut’s Yelp Review of Nathan’s Famous, Coney Island, July 5

Ugh, has this place gone downhill.

I don’t usually write reviews but I just had to let people know about this place, given how horrible my experience was compared to the day before.

When I ate here just one day ago – July 4 – this place was full of energy. There were hundreds of people excitedly cheering and shouting. There were TV cameras. A guy announced my arrival over the PA system like I was a UFC champion. They placed an endless buffet of hot dogs in front of me – that’s what I come here for, always – and it was bedlam.

But today there was none of that. When I tried to run up to the front of the restaurant, people yelled at me like I was doing something unethical. I actually had to go back and wait in line behind a bunch of other people just to get my hot dogs. Ridiculous.

The woman who greeted me at the counter, Luca, said “may I have a name for your order, please?” Really? That’s no way to treat a customer, Luca. I don’t know if you read these reviews, Nathan’s, but this woman deserves to be fired.

When I told her to just bring me as many as I could eat, she said I had to order a specific number of hot dogs. Excuse me – Is there some kind of hot dog shortage in America right now?  Was it a “bad year” at all the wiener farms? Guess I missed that news story on CNN, LOL.

Not only that, but they made me give them money. As in, I couldn’t even eat the dogs until I paid for all of them up front, like some sort of criminal racket. Citibank, I’ll definitely be protesting the Nathan’s Famous charges on my credit card.

I decided to buy eight hot dogs. It came out to 45.52, before taxes. I guess that’s not a bad deal, if you think about it. But yesterday they were free. I wish they’d give you a little heads up when they decide to change their pricing structure like that.

Because the vibe was so blah compared to the day before, I sat at my table and ate pretty slowly. I must have lost track of the time, because when I finished my dogs I looked at my watch and realized I had been at the table for a minute and 12 seconds.

It was creepy how chill it was in there. Instead of hearing thunderously loud chants of “GOOO JOOOEEEYYYY!” I had to listen to the woman sitting next to me tell her friend about how it’s harder to make an appointment with her dermatologist than it was six months ago. TMI, lady, TMI. It was so hard to eat in that atmosphere.

Yesterday, there would have been a cute smiling girl standing behind me holding up a sign that said I had eaten 8 hot dogs, but not today. It’s just not the same. They must have had a round of layoffs last night.

Normally, I dip my hot dogs into a big bucket of water so that the buns are thoroughly soaked when I eat them. Today, no buckets. I had to buy a bottle of water. A guy saw me pouring my water out all over my second hot dog and he said “there’s mustard over there, you know.” I don’t know where the dude was from, but literally nobody puts mustard on hot dogs in America. It makes it so much harder to eat. Who has time for that, anyway?

Normally, when I leave Nathan’s, I’m on a high. My heart is racing. Right after I get back to my hotel I vomit my brains out. I literally wretch uncontrollably several times, sometimes even clogging the toilet or making it overflow. Today, after only eating 8 dogs, I went back to my hotel and just felt gross. Has anybody else had the experience of feeling gross after eating only 8 hot dogs? Nobody in my friend group, for sure.

So overall, a terrible experience. I will probably still go back, because the hot dogs are that good. But if you’re going to cut back on all the fanfare and excitement, Nathan’s Famous, maybe offer a side salad. I think that would make me happy.

  photo by loozrboy

Joey Chestnut’s Yelp Review of Nathan’s Famous, Coney Island, July 5 was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[junker-town]

‘College GameDay’ guest pickers, sorted by how much they make sense

From Katy Perry to Charles Barkley and everywhere in between.

Every week, ESPN’s College GameDay invited guest pickers to come onto the show and pick winners and losers. Over time, you start to see certain genres of guest, ranging from really great fits for the school at hand to the delightfully random to the ... just random. For organization’s sake, let’s put a bunch of these pickers into groups.

Obvious fits

Former players and other alumni make this list, for the most part.

Charles Barkley

The Auburn and NBA legend was one of the first unofficial guest pickers in 2004, when he picked Auburn to beat Tennessee.

“When Charles Barkley first did it – it was probably ten years ago – he was the first one on the show,” Fitting said in 2014 via Sports and Entertainment Nashville. “He was a big Auburn fan. He picked the games and was great at it. So it was probably about five years ago when we decided on doing [celebrity predictions] every week. We had Lance Armstrong, Bill Murray, Bo Jackson, Olympian Lolo Jones, Darius Rucker and Bubba Watson. Kenny Chesney was one of our originals.”

Props to the shirt he wore that last time he was on:

“A few years ago, it was the Kick Six. Today, it’s gonna be the Kick Ass,” he said before the Tigers went ahead and beat Alabama.

Bo Jackson

The former Auburn running back came on for the 2011 Iron Bowl.

Phillip Fulmer and Steve Spurrier

The former Tennessee and Florida head coaches were co-guest pickers in 2016 for the Florida-Tennessee game in Knoxville. The HBC out-picked Fulmer.

Jack Nicklaus

The golf legend was a guest for 2017’s Penn State-Ohio State game — Nicklaus is also a Buckeye legend, having golfed there from 1957-1961.

Rickie Fowler

Speaking of pro golfers, the Oklahoma State alumnus was the guest for Bedlam in 2016.

Phil Knight

The Oregon alumnus and Nike founder was the picker for 2009’s USC-Oregon game.

Celebrities that might seem random, but who have school ties

Will Ferrell

Everyone loves Ferrell, right? He went on the show for 2010’s Oregon-USC game, and unforgettably fought the Oregon mascot and Lee Corso with a giant-ass Corso head:

Ferrell graduated from USC in 1990.

Joel McHale

The actor and comedian was the guest for 2016’s game between USC and Washington. Although you may not know it, McHale walked on at Washington in 1992. He never played in an actual game, and ended up just a year and a half on the Huskies’ scout team, He told ESPN in 2012.

Tim Matheson

In 2018, the Animal House co-star was the guest picker ahead of Stanford-Oregon. The movie was filmed on Oregon’s campus in Eugene, so it was a pretty unique connection.

Bob Baffert

Yes, the famous horse trainer you see on TV every May — this guy.

Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Baffert was the guest for Arizona’s 2015 home game against UCLA. He’s a Zona alum, having graduated from the school’s Race Track Industry Program.

Luther Campbell

Before the 2017 ACC Championship game, the Miami rapper — famous for his association with the glory days of “The U” in the 1980s and 90s — was kind enough to give the guys some turnover chains:

Make sense strictly in a geographic context

Dale Earnhardt Jr.

He was the guest picker before the 2016 Virginia Tech-Tennessee game that happened at a racetrack. So Dale Jr., as a native of NASCAR Country, was an obvious choice.

Aaron Rodgers

The Packers QB was on hand for 2016’s LSU-Wisconsin game at Lambeau Field.

"Eddie Lacy told me to pick Alabama." Guest @CollegeGameDay picker Aaron Rodgers listens to his teammates. pic.twitter.com/U5rD28X35V

— ESPN (@espn) September 3, 2016

LeBron James

James was still in his first stint with the Cleveland Cavaliers when he was the guest for the 2008 game between Penn State and Ohio State. James is a Buckeyes fan, too.

Alex Rodriguez

He’s from Miami and picked games ahead of 2017’s Notre Dame-Miami game.

Alice Cooper

The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer was on hand for Ohio State-Michigan State in 2014. Cooper is a Detroit native. He arrived to the desk in style, too!

Lil Wayne

The New Orleans native was on for the 2016 Alabama-LSU game.

Lance Armstrong

The Texas native made picks for a 2009 Texas Tech-Texas game.

Chipper Jones

The longtime Braves third baseman handled a 2009 kickoff game between Alabama and Virginia Tech. The game was in Atlanta.

Willie and Jace Robertson

The Duck Dynasty folks. Ahead of Ole Miss-LSU in 2014, the Louisiana natives picked games.

Comedians!

Keegan Michael Key

The Penn State alum has been on the show three times, the first in 2016. He’s also known for his famously too spot-on impression of Nittany Lions head coach James Franklin.

Frank Caliendo

Although the Big Ten Country native didn’t have obvious ties to Washington-Utah, he’s been doing impressions of guys like John Madden, Todd McShay, and Jon Gruden for years for ESPN for awhile now. His GameDay appearance had a ton of impressions:

Jeff Dunham

The comedian picked games before 2015’s Oklahoma-Baylor. Dunham is a Baylor alumnus. He also did some schooling at Texas Tech.

Little connection to an involved school, but great anyway

Katy Perry

She’ll go down as one of the show’s greatest guest pickers for her efforts surrounding 2014’s Alabama-Ole Miss game. First, she literally hit on OU quarterback Trevor Knight on-air:

And of course this:

“When Katy arrived playing music and we showed her arriving and the production truck was literally bouncing,” GameDay producer Lee Fitting said in 2016 via AL.com. “There were teenage girls screaming and crying and there were old men screaming and crying and there were old ladies screaming. It was a crazy, crazy scene.”

And after Ole Miss upset Alabama in Oxford, this gloriousness happened:

(Her manager is an Ole Miss fan, and that was the reason offered for her appearance, but I don’t think anyone really needed a reason.)

Ric Flair

Just look at this damn entrance by the Minnesota alum and Michigan fan for a game between two different Big Ten teams:

Rick Ross

At Bama-LSU, he picked Memphis to win because of his many Wing Stop locations in Memphis and shared some pears with Lee Corso, a tribute to Ross’ own body type.

Kind of random!

Jim Cantore

Yeah, that dude who’s always standing in the middle of hurricanes on The Weather Channel. He made guest picks remotely from Greenville, South Carolina ahead of Clemson-Notre Dame in 2015, a game played in heavy rain, at least.

He picked Clemson for this very smart reason:

“This girl Hayley I met at the bar last night said Clemson was gonna win.”

Ken Griffey Jr. and Brett Favre (though Favre didn’t make it)

The two were guest pickers ahead of Florida State-Notre Dame in 2014. The two don’t have any real connections to either school, but it paid homage to the 1993 FSU-ND game, when both stars were in their primes.

Roman Reigns

The WWE Universal Champion picked games ahead of TCU-Ohio State in 2018. Joe Anoa’i (that’s Reigns’ real name) played at Georgia Tech, so uh, not sure why he was at this game, but oh well!

The Chainsmokers

The EDM-pop duo was easily one of the worst guests in GameDay history ahead of Wisconsin vs. Michigan in 2018.

Craig T. Nelson

If you don’t know who this is, that’s normal. It’s this guy:

The voice of Mr. Incredible picked games ahead of the Michigan-Wisconsin game in 2017. He doesn’t have any apparent connection to either school, even though he wore a Wisconsin sweatshirt. He’s more of a Minnesota State guy.

Bro country singers who probably have some loose affiliation to a school, but I’m just gonna run through these dudes

Toby Keith

Brad Paisley

Eric Church

Kenny Chesney (technically, he has an affiliation with EVERY school)

Tim McGraw

Luke Bryan

Sam Hunt (yes, I know he’s a former UAB quarterback, but I don’t care.)

Eric Church

Can we please stop trying to make country music and college football a thing, for the love of God.

Generally, ESPN does a really good job finding guest pickers for the show.

Other than the country boys.

[revpanikbedlam]

Normally Patricia and her friends would actually go to the drive-in on Saturday night. Lizzy's uncle owned the place and he'd always let her bring a carload of her friends in for free since they usually made up for it buying concessions. But Lizzy's steady Jack knew about a happening party just outside of town at the abandoned Kensfield farm. So instead of hitting the movies like Patricia told her parents they would, she sat in the back seat smiling as they blew past the city limits sign and a cool night wind whipped her long hair about her head.

Pat was glad she didn't have to suffer through a double feature of Dr. No and From Russia with Love. Mason had liked the spy thing and was constantly talking about James Bond and John Drake, and always had a cheap paperback in his pocket with a girl in silhouette holding a gun on the cover. But after they broke up a few months ago just after the spring dance, she really had no interest in spies.

“Spies are liars,” she muttered, watching shadows flitting past under a clear sky of stars. A little bit of country air and some beers that Jack's older brother got them sounded way better than indulging in a testosterone-driven male fantasy about secret documents and space lasers.

“Maybe you'll meet someone there, Pat,” Lizzy shouted over the wind. “I heard from Ruth that a whole bunch of people from out of town are going to be there.” Liz paused just long enough to take a hard slug off her beer. “It would be nice if you found a guy to help you get over Mason, then you could go double dating with me and Jack again. I always prefer going out as a couple of couples, it feels more grown up that way.” Trying to drink in between words, Liz drank too much at once and began coughing, but continued to talk anyway. “Not that we mind you tagging along or nothing.”

Jack grabbed the beer from an indignant Lizzy and he finished it in one go. He tossed the can out the window, looked back at Patrica over his shoulder with a wink and said, “Yeah Pat, we don't mind. I kinda like having you hanging around when Lizzy is going down on me, it gives me something pretty to look at.”

Patrica blushed a little, but Liz was quick to punch him in the shoulder and shouted, “You pig! That was only once and I was drunk! It wasn't on purpose, I forgot Pat was there.”

“Don't lie! You're one of those lady perverts! You're one of them girls who likes being watched while you're making it; like the women in those dirty books you're always reading.”

Lizzy responded to the accusation with some degree of moral outrage, and the two continued to banter loudly but she was soon playfully chewing on Jack's ear instead. A few minutes later the car swerved unexpectedly before drifting back into its lane, leading Patrica to assume that Liz's hand had successfully made its way into Jack's bluejeans. Patrica pretty much tuned out what Liz and Jack had going on in the front seat and decided she was more interested in drinking her beer.

Jack had a foul mouth when he thought no one important was listening, but she knew the come on was mostly him joking around. In her opinion, Jack had always been good to Liz and stuck by her when they had a scare. She would have been embarrassed to admit it but she usually didn't mind when Jack and Liz fooled around in front of her. She thought they were both very attractive and actually had spied on them once or twice when they didn't know she was there. A spy herself, just like Mason. She felt lousy to think about it, and it made her sad to remember.

The Kensfield farm was at the end of a long dirt road, and although there was a chain hanging between two posts at the end of the private drive which wove up the hill, there was enough space on either side to drive around the minor barricade. They slowly rolled their way up the path until they came to a field with several large lilac bushes and overgrown crabapple trees. Patricia noticed that there were several cars parked behind these trees so they couldn't be seen from the road. Jack parked in the deep grass with the others and turned off the car.

“Hey Pat, why don't you take the other six pack up with you to the house and we'll catch up in a minute,” Liz said as Jack stifled a grunt.

“Sure,” Patrica said and grabbed the beer. Once out of the car she lingered for a moment to catch a peek, but immediately felt guilty, and with a blush-red face headed up the last little climb before reaching the house at the top of the hill. It was said that old man Kensfield vanished one night about ten years ago and it had been abandoned ever since. A lot of people had said the place was haunted but Patrica never saw anything. When she dated Mason, kids would have parties up here all the time and the four of them would come out here for some fun, but it had been a while.

As she came up to the house she saw more people there than she ever had before. Normally it was maybe ten to fifteen kids at most, but tonight there were closer to thirty people hanging around. She saw a couple of her friends but she was surprised at how many people she didn't know.

Not only did she not recognize many of them, but a lot of the ones she didn't know looked really wild. She had seen pictures of hippies and stuff in the news, but she lived far and away from where most of that sort of thing went on. It was strange to see so many people dressed in such outrageous outfits. Of course, it had been a big local scandal when Jim Harper and that girl Stephanie drove out west together. They were apparently into that whole counter-culture thing, and this was the sort of place that that sort of person did their best to run away from.

“Hey, man! Check it, you have beer, far out!” said a girl with long braided hair and pink sunglasses that she wore despite the dark. “Hey, be cool and give me one before you go in there. The guys in there are animals. They drank all the beers we came with and are working their way through all our reefer. Do me a solid, give me a beer and I'll split a cig I got with you. It's a real one.”

Patricia smiled, pulled the tab off a can and handed it to her saying, “Cheers!” Then she opened one for herself and sat down next to her on an old bench by the front door. “A cigarette sounds great.”

“Man, you're all right. I was worried you would be a square coming out here dressed like Donna Reed, but you're all right,” the girl said, taking a deep swig. She pulled a weathered and bent Lucky Strike from behind her ear and lit it. After a few puffs, she passed the cigarette to Patricia. As Pat took a long hard pull the girl said to her, “My name's Starlight.”

Trying not to laugh, Patrica found herself coughing up a huge cloud of stale tobacco smoke before she struggled out the question, “Starlight? Is that actually your name?”

“Naw, but I decided after I ran away from home that I didn't want anyone calling me Bertha anymore and I thought Starlight was pretty. A boy I was with at the time told me it was hep so since then I've been Starlight. What about you?”

“Patricia,” she said, handing back the cigarette. “My friends usually call me Pat, but I go by either. I think it suits me.” She drank a bit more of her beer and then asked, “What are all of you guys doing out here? If I were a hippy, I really don't think I'd come around here. This place is mostly farms and older people. Even in town there really isn't much going on, just a drive-in, a diner, and a dance hall.”

Starlight snickered at being called a hippy and then said, “Yeah, that's probably true. We drove through earlier and it didn't look too happening. No offense. But some girl we met at the gas station named Reba or Ruby or something, told us about the 'Flower House' on the edge of town. We totally wanted to check it out. And when I saw it, man. I mean, just dig it, it's totally crazy! I never saw anything like this before, do you know how it got this way?”

Patricia had to admit the Kensfield house was pretty strange. Everything was covered indoors and out with a rich, thick sheet of bright green moss which was spotted with the sprouting of pink and white clover. Deep purple morning glories and vines of green grapes coiled around every surface. Even things in the kitchen that were left behind by old Mr. Kensfield were pulled under the carpet of greenery.

“No one knows really,” Patricia said. “I mean there are all sorts of ghost stories about it, but no one knows for sure. It used to belong to a farmer who had kinda become a bit of a hermit after his wife died. Some people say he went a little crazy and would harass people in town, but most people just dealt with him. Well ten years ago or so, people heard a loud shout ring out one night and a few gun shots. His neighbors, wanting to help, rushed up the hill, but it was so steep it took a while for them to get up here. By the time they did, no one could find him and his house was filled with plants. It was like it had been empty for a long time.”

“Far out, this chick is onto what's real! That's totally spooky Dracula stuff,” said a tall and lanky guy with a scruffy beard, long hair, and no shirt. He was followed by a few other guys from inside, but had lurked in the doorway while the girls were talking. As predicted by Starlight, they grabbed the beers up without asking and

proceeded to make fast work of them. No-shirt continued, “If you're into the supernatural we have some stuff that lets you see into other dimensions. I got a whole sheet when we were out west and I have a few tabs to spare. You know, if you want to come feel some love in this spooky flower house.”

Some of the other guys started whooping and dancing around at this. Some guy with a guitar came from inside, immediately falling down on the lawn, and after a moment of fumbling began strumming out some awkward chords. Patricia suddenly felt a little overwhelmed and the guy looming over her made her especially uncomfortable. Starlight smiled at him and said a line of nearly unidentifiable obscenities, to which he responded by smiling back. Then he put a square of paper on her tongue, turned to Patricia and said, “So what about you, Chicky?”

She squirmed at the offer, but lucky for her Liz was running up the path. She was being followed by Jack, who was walking a bit further back with a satisfied grin on his face. “Hey, Patty! What's going on?”

Starlight answered for her without hesitation. “We're having an Acid Test! If you're friends with Pat here, she's my girl and we'll hook you up. Right, Owl?” she said, gesturing to the shirtless man.

Owl frowned at first, but then seeing Lizzy bounce up to him with her shirt half open from parking with Jack, his expression changed and he said, “Yeah sure. Any friend of Patty. She's our chick.”

“Wait! Acid Test? You mean like LSD? Wow! I don't know.” Liz said with a bit of a drunken slur of excitement, “I probably shouldn't. Jack? I shouldn't, should I? Oh, what the heck. You only live once.”

Before Jack could stop her or even respond, Owl had placed the sacrament in her mouth. If Jack was going to say something, Owl decided it was better to keep the peace and offered him a tab as well, which he reluctantly took. Patricia used the moment of excitement to slip away, figuring that her friends could handle themselves.

She was less curious than Lizzy and didn't want to see what acid really did. Jim Harper had claimed to have dropped acid, and though he did seem different after he wasn't crazy or anything. He seemed liberated, or happier, or free, or something like that; and maybe that was what Patricia wanted. But not tonight, and not with that group of people. She had finished her second beer so she crept back to the car to see if there were any more left and was happy to find two. She was feeling pretty drunk but didn't want to have it wear off so she opened one and put the other in her purse and headed to the ridge that overlooked the house.

When she got up there, Pat was surprised at how far away they were, feeling distantly detached as she looked down on them. They had built a fire in an old tire rim, and someone began pounding out a beat on a small bongo that one of the hippies had with them. Between the drum and the guitar, it was enough music that a few of them started to dance. She could smell them smoking weed as the wind carried the odor up to her, and it was about an hour later after Patricia had begun work on her fourth beer when it seemed like the acid was kicking in for the folks below.

Starlight started dancing very erratically, and then took off her clothes to an enthusiastic applause from the guys who were in the general majority. It wasn't long before a few other girls from the group joined her, and Pat was surprised to see Liz among the nude figures circling the fire. Patrica was actually a little surprised at herself at how much she was staring at them all from her perfect perch, watching in silence. Suddenly, several of the men began dancing around naked as well, and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. She tried to look away but couldn't.

It didn't take long before they began breaking off into groups of three and four, rolling in the grass and moaning in the flickering light. Owl and two of his friends seemed to have kept a close eye on Lizzy and had waited for a moment where the mood would be right before showering her with attention, first taking turns and then as a group. Patrica was shocked to see how much Liz liked what was happening; but then again, even if Liz wasn't enjoying it Pat was far enough away she really wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. She looked around to find Jack, presuming he would be furious at his steady getting defiled by all this free love. But when she was finally able to pick him out of the crowd, she realized that Jack was rolling around on the ground with Starlight.

Patricia started getting hot watching, and without thinking her hand moved down and up under her skirt. She watched her friends and the strangers as she moved her hand in small circles and rocked back and forth. But before she was able to get there, she was filled with a tremendous shame.

“What am I doing? I'm spying again!” She stood up but had trouble keeping her feet under her and stumbled back. “A spy, just like Mason. Peeping in where he doesn't belong, lying when it suits him, and running off when there's trouble,” she muttered to herself, tears in her eyes.

It was true, Mason had done all that. She should have known when she caught him watching her mother get changed into her bathing suit during a summer pool party, sneaking a look at the bedroom door. Boys just being boys, she had told herself at the time. When she suspected he was two-timing her, he soothed her worries saying she was his only girl, although she found out later that he was dating another girl at the school on the West End. Not only that but when he finally convinced her to let him be her first, he told her that if anything happened he'd make her an honest woman. But when she was a few days late he dropped her, telling Pat it was her problem to deal with and ran off with the other girl. It turned out that she was wrong and that she wasn't pregnant, but it showed her who Mason really was. Not just a spy, but a no-good, traitorous double agent.

Stumbling through the trees and across the hilltop, she realized she was lost and couldn't hear her friends. Drunk, and with eyes full of tears, she sniffled and dabbed her eyes with a tissue from her purse. She tried to stay calm and get her bearings among the pine trees, but she couldn't tell one direction from the other.

Then, out of nowhere, she heard music softly drifting through the air, and though it echoed all around her she seemed to be able to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. She made her way out of the forest and back onto the farm, but she had somehow taken a long loop around and found herself on the other side of the property. It was near where they had driven in, but a ways off from the dirt road.

She wandered around the isolated grove of crabapple trees looking for the music and found a boy sitting on a blanket underneath one of them. He had one of those portable record players and she recognized the album as The Zombies with its refrain “Please don't bother trying to find her, she's not there,” whispering hauntingly out of the little collapsing case.

She stared at him as he sat there in profile, his features were soft and beautiful with pouting lips and long lashes. His dark hair was a bit long in comparison to the crew cuts she was used to the local boys sporting but much shorter than the locks of those shouting beatniks having their orgy up on the hill. It actually reminded her of how those chic French girls in the magazines would cut it into short, spiky bobs, but he had slicked it high and to the side to give it a rock-and-roll vibe. He wore a simple outfit that made him look powerful despite his elegantly thin frame: a motorcycle jacket, white t-shirt, and a pair black denim jeans bloused into a set of high gaiter jackboots.

The record ended and he sat in silence for a moment, then without moving a muscle he said to her, “If you like the Rolling Stones, I was going to put Aftermath on next. You can join me if you want.”

His voice was sweet and feminine but assertive, and Patrica found herself drifting dreamily through the grass to sit down on the blanket next to the boy. “They're all right,” she said meekly.

The boy grinned a little grin as he swapped the records placing the Zombies back in its sleeve and a few minutes later “Its not easy living on your own” was singing out of the small speakers as the player hummed. Without looking her in the eyes he said to her, “Do you smoke?”

“Sometimes, sure. I smoke,” she said nervously. She paused for a moment and then blurted out, “My name's Patrica, but you can call me Pat.”

“Hey Pat,” he said with a sly smirk as he pulled a twist of paper out of a metal cigarette case and lit it. He took a few quick puffs to get it started and said, “Most people call me Ed.” Then he took two long drags and passed it. Somehow she didn't realize it was a joint until she was already halfway through a hard drag. Coughing uncontrollably she became embarrassed and tried to quickly hand it back to him. He smiled and finally caught her eye, gesturing for her to take another puff. “Hit it twice and pass it. Just hit it lightly this time. Sometimes it's better when you're gentle.”

She did as he said and quickly began feeling high. She had smoked some about a year ago when a friend of Lizzy got a hold of a 'funny cigar' but all that had done was make her feel dizzy. Something about this was different as it made her feel weightless, she was carefree, and she knew she was beautiful. As they passed it back and forth she began to stare into the mysterious boy's deep green eyes. With a deep sigh, she breathed the words “I'm in love,” and was immediately surprised that she had said her thoughts out loud. She started to apologize, but he hushed her softly with a finger on her lips, and then leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.

Mick Jagger's voice sang, “It's not easy! It's not easy!” as they kissed.

Patrica had never been so suddenly taken with a boy. Mason hadn't been that attractive or smart, just persistent in trying to get her to like him. Once they were dating he was never really nice except when trying to get her to put out. She didn't actually want to be with him, it had just seemed convenient; a person to double date with Jack and Liz. But barely even knowing this strange boy's name, she wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything. He was as beautiful as an angel and he kissed like the devil.

He put an arm around her as she leaned in close to him, and she swooned at his embrace. Her hand pressed against his stomach feeling firm muscle underneath, and she immediately wanted to feel them directly so she slid her hand under his T-shirt. Her body felt hotter and hotter as she drew her hand over his abs and slowly pushed up his shirt revealing a subtle washboard from under his black jacket. But when she reached his chest there was a moment of sudden confusion, a soft and subtle curvature and she stopped kissing to look down and confirm with her eyes what she felt with her hands.

A set of headlights shot across the field as a car pulled in behind a nearby lilac bush, and for a brief moment illuminated a small but distinct pair of breasts that had been hidden under the 'boy's' shirt. Patricia was caught off guard. “You have boobs!” she exclaimed in a gasping whisper.

“So?” Ed said nonchalantly as she cupped them in a fleetingly sensual moment before pulling her shirt back down and adjusting her jacket. “Is that a problem?”

“But that means you’re a girl, doesn't it? I mean, you said your name was Ed, that's a boy’s name!”

“I suppose boobs can mean you're a girl, but not always. Besides, Ed is short for Edna, just like Pat is short for Patrica. I'm not trying to claim that you tried to trick me.”

Patricia gaffed at Ed for a few moments, looking at that 'pretty boy' face with its green eyes. Ed might have been a little boyish, but now as Patrica looked at her she realized just how androgynous her face was and realized she could pass as either a beautiful man or beautiful woman depending on what mood struck her. Not knowing what to do Pat simply sat there blushing as the record ran out and the sound of crickets replaced the rock music.

“Pat,” Ed said after a few moments, “I didn't mean to upset you. I have to admit, I was taken with you too. How about I flip the record and you bring your lips back here so I can get back to kissing them.”

“But Ed, I hardly know you. I mean we just, just met, and you're nothing like what I first thought. You're...” Patrica paused. “You're like a spy.”

Ed laughed. “Like a spy? Pat, I have way more secrets than a spy. But if you trust me enough, I'll tell you all of them one at a time. Give me a chance and I'll show you every secret I have.”

“Secrets like what?” Patrica asked reluctantly.

Ed's face became a giant toothy smile. “Secrets like these,” she said as she lifted her shirt to show Pat her chest. “Why don't you show me your secrets,” she said playfully as she began crawling across the blanket towards her.

At first, Patrica tried to back away, but as Ed began to kiss up and down her neck she began to giggle and gave in. She found herself rushing to unbutton her blouse and with a snap unfastened her brassiere. Pat was not particularly endowed in the chest but when compared to Ed's modest bust she felt like they were large and voluptuous. Her breasts heaved heavily and warm as she pressed them against her boyish lover. She began kissing her wildly, more excited than before.

Everything in that moment seemed right in the world, but then Patrica heard a sudden familiar voice shout her name and her blood ran cold. There was no doubt, it was the last person she wanted to see at this moment: her ex-boyfriend Mason shouting, “Patrica! Patrica!” from the dirt road.

“Patrica?! Holy shit! Is that you?!” asked Mason, obviously already drunk from drinking on the ride over. She hadn't seen him in months and suddenly here he was, come out of the woodwork for the big party at the old Kensfield Farm. If he had shown up at a normal party drinking around a small group of their shared friends it would have been bad enough, but this was worse than she could have imaged in her worst nightmare.

He was bigger and more oafish than she remembered, and he stood there staring at the two of them with his big cow eyes; their shirts pushed aside and concealing nothing. His jaw was slack, he drooled luridly at what he saw, and then he stammered. “I thought I saw you in my lights when I pulled up. I thought you were fooling around with some guy in the bushes, so I came to see what sort of loser you were giving it up for. But then I got close and saw! I can't believe it! I never expected you to turn dyke.”

As he spoke he began laughing like a braying ass. Patrica pulled her blouse shut and struggled to button it up, but Ed just crouched down and glared at him. Mason continued to laugh and said, “I guess once you have the real thing no other man could do the job, huh? I bet you'd like a little reminder of what you gave up." He chuckled and began to unzip his pants.

Ed snarled like an angry dog and barked, “Don't you dare! Don't even try. You'll regret it. I'll make you regret it!”

“You left me, ran off to be a spy,” Patrica muttered softly. “I never left you, you ran off when I needed you. I didn't even want you, but you had to have me, then you left.”

Mason didn't give either of their words much regard as he drunkenly struggled to pull himself out of his pants. “You miss it, don't try to lie. I'll give you what you want then give your butch lesbo friend a taste. I mean she kinda looks like a boy but I bet she still has the right parts. I bet she'd still like a taste. Huh? How about it, you want a taste of me?”

For a moment, all went perfectly quiet and everything was absolutely still. Then Ed said, "Fine. If you insist.”

It all happened fast, and Patrica was in such shock to see it she barely believed that it occurred at all. Looking back on it, she remembered how quickly Ed was at his neck, and she saw her teeth grow sharp and rip into his throat.

A hard sucking sound filled the air, like an old garden hose struggling to drain punctuated with popping and gurgling shrieks. Pat watched Mason's skin grow gray and tight across his bones until he looked like those pictures of withered mummies she had seen in National Geographic. As Ed pushed the corpse away from her it looked black as burnt wood and as it hit the ground it crumbled into a pile of dry pulp.

As soon as the heap of dust that had been Mason was on the ground, plants immediately slithered to the spot like snakes and grew in a wild instant. The ground exploded with a verdant roar of clover as blankets of moss piled about. Tangles of vines poured through the spontaneous unfurling of tall grass, and a fully formed crabapple sapling erupted from the very spot where Mason had stood moments before.

Ed turned to Patrica and wiped a film of soot from around her mouth, pulled her shirt down, and she licked the last of the blood from her fangs before they receded into her gums.

“This is one of my secrets. I would have liked to tell you about it in my own time, but here it is. I think it's probably time for me to get going, this party is kinda played out and the mood has gotten weird." Ed tried to smile as she spoke, struggling to make a joke, but her frown was impossible to hide.

Ed gestured over her shoulder with her thumb. "I'm thinking of taking this prick's car and driving west until I find someplace I like. I'm sure you're probably scared, but I would like you to come with me. I'm going to get my things and then go so you have a few minutes to decide.”

Patricia looked around as Ed grabbed a green duffle bag from under the tree, gathered her records and her blanket, then put them in the car Mason had parked behind the lilac bush. As she stood there trying to decide what to do, a still nude Lizzy ran down across the field in the dark of the night holding hands with an equally naked Starlight.

“What's happening, Pat!” Liz shouted looking around with huge dilated pupils.

“I'm trying to decide if I want to go on a trip with someone I just met.”

“Me and Starlight are going to go on a trip too!” Liz declared with excitement. “Me and Owl and Starlight are going to a drive to a place to see a band play. We all just realized we're in love with each other and want to go on adventures. I also think that we all might be birds so we might go flying also because that's what birds do.”

Starlight cut in and said, “Yeah, we're totally birds. But I think Owl knew that already. But we're going to do a bunch of acid and do whatever we want whenever we want, and we'll all live forever!”

Pat looked at the two of them, both naked as day and holding hands while Jack and Owl both yelled for them to come back, neither of them wanting to leave the light of the fire. She smiled and hugged them both. “I hope you do! I love you both. Have fun on your adventures. I have to get going.”

Liz watched as Pat ran over to the car and kissed Ed long and hard before getting in and driving off down the dirt road. She then turned to Starlight and said, “I'm so happy that Pat found a new boyfriend. That guy is way better looking than Mason. Plus Mason was kind of a crazy idiot.”

Starlight laughed. “Man, too many guys are idiots.” She stopped to pick several of the beautiful flowers that had just grown from nothingness moments ago. Then she turned to Liz and said, “She's probably lucky to be rid of that other guy, her new guy seems really sweet.” Then the two went back up the hill to dance around the fire until the sun came up.