#( elif002 )

[pitymisskitty]

With: @cantfightmoonlight (Elif) Where: The Den

Kitty didn't come to the Den too often. Typically on full moons or if she was feeling like she was going to shift, she'd stop by, waste some time before it was time to go out into the woods. If it wasn't a full moon, she'd hope that being at the Den would allow her to calm down. If it was, then she'd do the wolf thing. She was trying to get better at doing the wolf thing. It sucked to feel like she was going to wolf out every five seconds. She was trying to get passed that. So, Wolf Den. Kitty was pacing in the communal kitchen, wondering if she should just give up and head out for a run. She turned when someone walked in, startling her enough to stop worrying about shifting, at least for the moment. "Oh! Uh, hey, Elif," she said, feeling a little sheepish.

[itsronniebish]

Closed starter for @cantfightmoonlight (Elif)

In New York, with Cain, Ronnie remembered the constant taste of blood in her mouth, always fresh, always warm. It filled her up, kept her warm, just like it did now, her mouth attached to a stranger's neck, drinking in deep. The first few times, Cain had pulled her away, snarling at her to stop, to quit making a fucking mess, to quit leaving a trail. Taking too much was the reason she was there. Learn from his mistakes. So she was learning, pulling away with blood drip, drip, dripping down her chin. She didn't stop because she cared if the stranger lived, not really. But she couldn't leave a mess. They'd find her, and they'd kill her, just like they killed Cain if she left a mess. Still, her hands lingered on their shoulders, pulling at something in their life force. It felt like when she'd fed from Bex, all of that energy that she wasn't quite sure what to do with. Her body wanted it, though. Needed it. She let it pull at her stomach, even if a sound behind her made her stop. Ronnie turned around and brightened. "Elif!" she said. Elif was so pretty, and fun, and all Ronnie wanted right now were pretty, fun things. She licked her lips, tasting blood but not bothering to clean up the mess. "Hi."

[itsronniebish]

Ronnie just blinked at Elif, unable to fight off the confusion as she watched the other woman strip in the cold and tear off a piece of her shirt. Confusion didn't stop her from appreciating the view, though. "It still heals pretty fast," she said, a lazy smile on her mouth. "But that's sweet." Still, she let Elif wrap her hand and press a kiss to her skin. Confusion and something else, something soft, something that she didn't currently have the words or the capacity to understand. "Yeah, it's... it's better."

There wasn't guilt at being caught in her musings but instead a hint of petulance as Ronnie frowned. She couldn't bring herself to regret anyone she killed, innocent or not. It wasn't like she was asking questions back in New York. Hey, how's it going, I'm really hungry, are you a good person? If you're not, I'm going to eat you. She doesn't know anything about the bodies in her past, and she doesn't know anything about the one she'd fed on tonight, even if he was still living. "I just think it's a win-win situation, right? Criminals off the street, I get to eat." There wasn't any guilt now, but that seemed even better. She groaned, but she agreed. "I don't want to be a vampire parent," she muttered. She let Elif help her, the two of them shouldering the guy's weight easily between them. "I don't know where my place is, currently, so your place is probably best."

Elif's eyes widened as she took Ronnie's hand in hers. "Well, here," She said, moving to slip her leather jacket off of her shoulders, so that she could yank her top off over her head. Standing in the middle of winter in a lacy bra and jeans wasn't ideal, but thankfully the wolf ran hot and, after pulling her jacket back over her shoulders, she used her strength to rip one of the sleeves of her top up into stripes. Taking Ronnie's hand back in hers, she wrapped Ronnie's slowly healing wound. "There," She reasoned. Happy with her quick fix, she press a light kiss against the outside of her makeshift gauze before shooting Ronnie the smallest of smiles. "All better?"

"Well, in that case, I promise I'll make it up to you. Just say the word and-" She found herself teasing back. Only for her brows to scrunch once more as she caught Ronnie's murmur. "That's not an excuse to go looking for criminals, you know? Though, if you can't help it, bad people are easier to cope with. Not that I'd know from experience or anything." She totally did, but she felt like that was pretty much a given at this point. "And he can, but he's also human and if someone were to feed from him and not stop, then, well, we'd have a baby vamp on our hands, now wouldn't we?" She pointed softly out. "Here, let me help," Elif, said, moving to stand herself as she took offer to take some of the weight off of Ronnie. She knew they both had super strength and could likely carry the human with ease, but it felt weird just standing there watching Ronnie try to balance a man twice her size. "Yeah, we can, we can go back to mine? Nico kinda got himself a place with Jas, so he shouldn't swing by."

[nicocastillo]

·✥·

"Hey, hey, hey—" He caught Elif on reflex, returning the hug even as he picked up on the panic in her voice. Words spilled out in a rush and he focused on staying upright as she clung to him like a very distressed but extremely buff koala. "I thought I saw the Reeds when all hell broke loose, yeah," he murmured under her onslaught of information, feeling numb as fear constricted his heart. This was the first confirmation he'd gotten that Jas had fallen into whatever this was, too. Absorbing that, he almost missed the mention of an injured human, his brain skipping right to the next item before swiftly rewinding to catch it. Still locked in the hug, he nodded into her shoulder. He managed to get some air as she pulled back, and took a moment to hold her shoulders and look her in the eye. "I'm so damn proud of you, Eli. You're brilliant, and so brave, and I don't even need to know what happened to know that you've got nothing to be ashamed of, okay? And we will find Batman's toilet, I promise." He had no idea what she'd meant by that, but his conviction didn't waver. "After we're done saving lives." He reached for his med bag. "Lead the way."

@nicocastillo

"Nico-" Her voice choked up on his name. She barely got the word out as her feet carried her forwards. Flinging her arms around her best friend, she pulling the other wolf in, giving him the tightest squeeze imaginable as she felt herself breaking down. She had been doing as well of a job as she could holding it together after the night she had just had, but the moment she had caught sight of him and saw that he was safe, something took over her. She practically feel her eyes tearing up in relief as she refused to let him go from the hug. "Jas- Jas is under whatever the hell this is. All of the Reeds are and, and, I tried to help get as many people to safety as I could, but- I couldn't stop all of it. There's a human a few blocks away whose loosing a lot of blood and I lost the batman toilet seat and felt slut shamed and I'm just so glad you're okay. Today sucks. But," She cleared her throat, finally pulling back just enough to ask him, "Do you have your paramedic bag on hand, because if so I could really use your help. I can show you the way?"

[pitymisskitty]

Kitty's mouth hung open for a moment. "You... are intentionally putting words into my mouth," She said. She couldn't help but nod. Yeah, yeah, she understood that. She knew she was responsible for at least one fucked up thing. The most fucked up thing. She had no idea what had come after that. Once she started chaining herself up, she felt okay, but that first night. She laughed a little breathlessly. "Control's never really been my strong suit. In, like, life. Or anything. I appreciate it, I do. I'm doing better! Uh, I mean, I remember more of my shifts than not, these days. Which is better!" She'd appreciate help. She didn't know how things could help. A lot of her issues were about her. Kitty didn't have a problem with werewolves, just her being a werewolf. It was weird. She barked out a laugh, tilting her head back. "Damn, should I bet a free meal or cash? This kind of sounds like easy money."

"So you do think I'm a ten then?" She asked, a smile breaking across her lips as she sat up a little bit. Only for it to fall as easily as it appeared at the mention of the first shift. "It's not stupid," She jumped in without missing a beat. "I don't remember my first handful of shifts either. I'm pretty sure I blacked out for most of them? And honestly, I really don't like to think about them still to this day. I think I'm responsible for some pretty fucked up shit, but its almost like the not knowing makes it worse in a way because I'm not even entirely sure what all I did? So, no. You're really not stupid. The farthest thing from it actually. But, the more you shift, the more you can control it and, now, being a wolf means that I can protect myself and everyone I care about. It's makes me strong and, after everything I've been through, I think really need that, you know? And if you want, I can help you learn control? I may not be the best teacher. I'm no alpha, but I can try my best and can at least help make sure that you don't wolf out while at work or anything like that," She promised her. "And he is, but that is precisely what you can use against him," Elif teased. "Trust me, bet Nico to a race. Winner gets a free meal and then fill his heads with thoughts of Jasmine as you race to the finish line and you'll be a shoe in, but don't tell him I told you that. Promise?" She asked as she held her pinky out towards Kitty as if to shake on it.

[pitymisskitty]

"Cruel!" Kitty repeated, laughing. "Woah, woah, woah, where'd numbers come into this, huh? I never said you weren't a ten." Because Elif was very, very pretty, and Kitty wasn't blind. "I don't remember my first shift, or, like a couple of the ones that came after, which is really fucking stupid because I was on the road for some of them." Trying to get to Lunar Cove. She'd packed up pretty quick after everything that happened with Parker, and she hadn't really known how to deal with anything. She still didn't. She sighed. "I feel like if I don't turn soon, I'm gonna do it without meaning to. It's probably better to do it when I want to than, like, in the diner somewhere." The worst part to Kitty was the not thinking. Sometimes, she didn't think so hard that she blacked out. And that was never fun. She wrinkled up her nose. "Oh, gross, I don't wanna be in Nico's head. He thinks about Jasmine so loud sometimes. Definite sap. Way too sappy."

"Cruel?" Elif feigned a gasp. "How dare you! I'll have you know I am a ten okay? You should be so blessed," She teased, giving Kitty a light nudge. "You still seem pretty confident to me, but I get it. Becoming a wolf was sort of the first time I ever truly felt strong in my life, but it doesn't come without its faults. Whether you're bitten or turned, with the first shift, our bodies go through something really traumatic and it's hard trying to cope with it all. And then add the fact that, with the shift, there are times when you can hardly recognize yourself in more ways than one. It's a lot. But, you're not alone and no one says you have to be okay right now, either? And you don't have to go out there if you don't want to. We can just exist here. But, if you ever do want to learn how this new version of you is, I'd be happy to help. Honestly, the best part for me about being what we are? When I'm out there, I don't have to think. I don't have to be alone with my own thoughts or insecurities. I can just exist. No expectations. There is no wrong way to be. No where to be. No one to be. You're just there. A part of nature. A part of the world. That and sometimes it is kinda fun to ease drop into the boy's heads. Nico's a completely sap. He's fun to tease."

[pitymisskitty]

"Cruel," Kitty muttered, directing her eyes up to the ceiling as a small blush stained her cheeks. It was a little comforting, though, the teasing, the reassurance. "I used to be a lot more confident," she mused. "I thought I'd still be confident, after. But now it's like I don't even know my own skin." She used to be so self-assured. She used to know she wanted more. And then she got it, and then it hurt people, and now she felt lost. "I thought I'd like being a wolf. I chose this, you know? I wanted it. I wanted to feel good and powerful and a part of something. And now I..." Now she regretted it. Now, she didn't like the way it made her feel, sometimes. "It's not all bad! Being a part of the pack is nice," she said, managing to smile.

"You welcome. Gives me a chance to give you a strip tease later when we go back out there," She joked. Only for her playful demeanor to soften as she told Kitty, "You're not being weird," She promised her. "What we are isn't always easy. So, I get it. For me shifting is like breathing in a way? I mean it still hurts like a bitch, but sometimes it easier for me to just run and not look back. While being human is often far more complicated? But, I know for others, they'd give anything not to have to shift or having to have us all in their head and, honestly that's probably the more normal opinion? All I mean to say is that you're not weird. You're just you and, human or wolf, it's nice to have another girl in the pack," She admitted.

[pitymisskitty]

Kitty laughed a little, too, though the sound was significantly more awkward. Again! No problem with nudity! She was very pro-nudity! To a very normal amount! But sometimes she felt very awkward. "Thanks," she said, scratching at the back of her neck. She gave a shrug. "I mean, I don't know." She didn't like that she felt like she needed to run. Like, she should run because she wanted to, not any other reason. It was kind of shit, that Kitty had so many hang ups. She would have loved being a werewolf without them. "I'm just being weird, I guess."

“You can look now,” Elif let out a light laugh as she slipped her oversized t-shirt over her head. She had no problem being naked herself, but covered up for Kitty’s sake. That and it was sort of awkward having a full conversation without being able to look the other in the eyes. “Why wouldn’t you want to?” She asked innocently enough as she plopped down into one of the arm chairs in the Den. Peering up at her fellow wolf as she gave her an eased shrug, “but no, I’d be happy to go with you.”

[itsronniebish]

Ronnie looked at the person on the ground and then back at Elif, confused. She did something bad. It was tugging at her, at the corner of her head and her heart, digging in like nails into flesh. She did something bad. This wasn't the first time. She hated how this made her feel, the guilt of it all, the way it pitched all of the good feelings she'd had before into the garbage and left her feeling like shit.

The first night after she'd been turned, she'd killed someone. Cain told her off, helped her hide the body, and the second night it went very much the same. Death. Except she was a little less messy, a little more careful, and she hadn't needed help cleaning up. She'd even figured out how to fee without killing. But there was a reason Cain had been caught, there was a reason that Cain was dead, and a part of it had to do with death and overindulgence on both their parts. She probably shouldn't have escaped. There was certainly no logical explanation from it except that she'd ran, desperately fighting off the most agonizing pain, like she was dying with him. What she felt now wasn't painful, but it was a different kind of agony. She missed not feeling it. She wanted to pull away from it. Pull away from Elif, too, her sad eyes, her pleading voice. So it wasn't hard to look away from Elif and lean back down, some of that inky darkness already swirling back into her eyes. She didn't care about the person bleeding out, but to leave them there wouldn't be good for her, she imagined. Even feeling like a god, she didn't want to end up on the wrong side the vampire clan's leader, as terrifying as she could be. Ronnie did still care for her own life, after all.

Biting her wrist, the blood came out sluggishly, the wound not healing as immediately as normal. "You asked if he did something," she murmured dully, lifting the strangers head and making sure that blood got into his mouth. "Hurt me. If he was bad. If he had been, could I have finished?" She looked back up at Elif with those perpetually wide eyes clouded and black, any sort of emotion unreadable. She hadn't wanted more like this since she'd first awoken as something no longer human, raw and hungry and craving something she'd never even thought about.

I-- I-- I did something bad, didn't I?

Six words cut far deeper than Elif would even know how to begin to admit. "H-hey, hey, hey, no, no, no, I know, I know," Elif could feel her voice breaking. Her hands visibly shaking as she reached up to cup Ronnie's face in her palms as if the small act of her thumb brushing across Ronnie's cheek could act as a lifeline for both of them. It's going to be okay was what Elif wanted to say but as she glanced down towards the person barely clinging on for life at their feet all she could see was the blood.

Twelve years ago, Elif stood in a nearly identical situation to this. Only she was alone. The sun seeped in through her drowsy eye lids, waking her up to find her cold and bare body curled up against the hard pavement. She was naked and far too exposed without the slightest idea of how she had ended there or why there was another body beside her that had been clawed apart by what she could only imagine to be the likes of some animal. But, deep down she knew. She knew that she had done something bad again and now here she was. Back on some dimly lit street corner wanting to convince herself that it was going to be okay. That neither of them were bad people despite the bad things they had both clearly done and might still do if they didn't save the person Ronnie had just fed from before it was too late. "Not yet, but I- I need your help, okay? I need you to bite yourself which I know won't be pleasant, but Ronnie, Ronnie, if you feed them your blood, they'll live. There is still time to save them. I don't have the ability to heal people like you do. So, please? Please don't be me, okay? Please?" She pleaded, knowing that there was no going back and stopping her newly turned wolf from mauling those other students, but if there was one thing she could do, maybe she could prevent this.

[pitymisskitty]

Kitty averted her eyes, glancing at the ceiling before looking out the window rather than being caught staring. Listen, she was plenty comfortable in her own skin, and she'd never had a problem with stripping down, but there was a lot of nudity at the Den. A lot. More than she was used to, even growing up with a big family. It still took a bit to get used to. "I'm debating it," she said, glancing at the clock before looking back at Elif. "You don't have to join if you don't wanna. I'm, like, even still figuring out. if I wanna, you know?" She didn't, not really, but want and need were not the same thing. Necessity needed to win out, in the end.

"Oh," Elif's eyes widened as she entered the Wolf Den having just shifted back into human form from where she had been sun bathing out on the front porch. Unlike a lot of the pack, Elif felt at peace when she was shifted. It was one of the few times she didn't hate to be left alone with her own thoughts. Maybe in part because, while in the pack, she wasn't alone with them. She could pick up bits and pieces of other pack members conversations and run as fast as she could without having to look back. For her being a wolf felt freeing. It was the shifting back into human form that was the part she found herself putting off more and more these days. "Hey," She gave Kitty a small smile as she made a move to where she had tossed her clothes over the couch, not that she exactly felt the need to cover herself. "You going for a run? Because I know I just got back myself, but I'm happy to join you?"