#( a little something to kick me back into being here :'] )

[nightingale-prompts]

Godling-DCxDP prompt

Many don't understand what it's like to gaze into the abyss. To truly know the haunting moment it gazes back. Even fewer can see still stand to throw themselves into that abyss.

Tim never understood why cultists worship monstrosities, being that promised the end of everything for nothing in return. He had seen the remnants of human sacrifices, rituals gone wrong, and man-made horrors beyond human comprehension. Part of him regretted agreeing to partner with Constantine to solve these cases. But another wanted to know more.

After searching through another half-destroyed tome he found something. A location to a summoning circle, an ancient one that these cultists were searching for. The one they needed to finally successfully summon their god.

But they got there too late. The cult had finished their ritual and the "god" they had summoned stood before them.

That god was...perfect. Disgustingly perfect, dreadfully beautiful, and horrifyingly enchanting. His mind etched every detail in his memory. It felt like his mind had conjured this person from his dreams, day and night. It was like looking at an illusion. But his eyes were a hellishly bright Lazarus green.

The cultist bowed to him and his smile, his perfect unnaturally white smile was full of soft warmth. Tim understood at that moment why they worshipped him. Their minds couldn't escape this web of divine energy. They were so enraptured by finally seeing prove of the divine.

"You all have done enough. Your souls will come with me. To the abyss." He said calmly as he waved his hand and each cultist dissappeared.

He sighed softly as he turned his gave to Tim and John.

"You offed 'em? I thought they were your followers." Constantine said gruffly.

"I have no followers. These souls have caused so much damage to this world. They can't be allowed to stay here."

"So you decided to rapture them?" Constantine raised an eyebrow.

"It's complicated. Yes, they did horrible things but if they hadn't discovered the tomes of the old king they wouldn't have ended up this way. Have pity on them. They are just mortals scared and confused searching for meaning. Like I was. I have sent them to the abyss. Their souls with dissipate into the void. There will be no pain. No eternal punishment. Just an end. They will be at peace, I promise. It is what they want." The god's voice echoed, his features rippled as he moved showing afterimages of alternate forms he used.

It was odd. Every fiber of Tim's being screamed for him to bow, to worship, and to give himself to this being. Yet, his feet remained stubbornly planted on the ancient dusty floor.

"Don't look directly at it," Constantine whispered hissed.

Right. You probably shouldn't stare at the otherworldy being that likely has mind warping abilities. Especially one that just said he erased his own followers from existence and saying it was a good thing.

"I'm really sorry. I should make it up to you. Clockwork will be pissed enough that I interfereed so I have to do something to at least make up for this mess."

"You can kick off by doing one and buggering off" Constantine said immediately.

"So cold. How about you? What do you want?"

"I think an explanation would help," Tim said only to get elbowed by Constantine.

"You ain't gotta know nothing, mate. The more we know, the dodgier it gets." Constantine said firmly. "Whatever you are, you need to bugger off. You’ll wreck the noggins of everyone around you."

"I don't mean to. I don't ask people to become obsessed with me or worship me. Mortals have such weak minds they cave at my presence. But I can't help it. I lost my human body recently and can't turn this off."

The being groaned but to human ears it was similar to a purr.

"Seriously, everything I do is filtered through some sensory thing that makes you little mortals think its the greatest thing ever no matter how simple. Touching you would probably melt your brain with how good it would feel. So the trench coat man is probably right."

"You said you lost your human body. How?" Tim asked still staring at the floor as he felt the godling came closer.

"A bad fight. My mortal form wasn't indestructible but saving my family made it more than worth it. But...I haven't seen them since. Im still getting used to this while thing. I just wanted to reach out and find some answers so i reached into this universe and well...you can probably tell what happened next. I just wanted to make it right and fix it. The other ancients said this was the best option and..."

Every moment he spoke the less godly he seemed.

Constantine still wasn't willing to help and had to drag Tim away. When Tim actually tried to look up the fodling was gone.

"Never do that again." The brit said sternly. "Now help me clean this mess up."

[omgiamwish]

Snowmen and Such

@mp100secretspirit Here is my present for @smoarchok! I hope you enjoy it <3

About 1800 words of pure fluff. Read below, or on Ao3

Shigeo rests his arms on the wooden railing, leaning his weight against it and letting it hold him. Snowflakes fall in big clumps to join the expanse of white already carpeting the landscape. The sky is a soft gray, as far as he can see, and the light is dim despite only being late morning. Except for the soft static of snowflakes landing, the whole world is quiet.

“Hey!” Tome-san’s voice pierces the silence, but it’s not at all unwelcome. He turns to her as she joins him. “You forgot your earmuffs in the room.”

“Oh.” He takes them from her with a smile and puts them on. He hadn’t noticed how cold his ears had gotten. “Thank you, Tome-san.”

“What’re you doing out here, anyway?”

“I wanted to… to watch the snow, I guess.” He looks back to it, eyes catching on individual flakes in their descent. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much at once. It’s really pretty.”

“Reigen-san said it snowed on the company trip you all went on last year…”

“Not this much. I’m glad I decided to come after all.”

Tome-san leans on the railing next to him. “Even though they didn’t even need you?”

Shigeo considers that. “Maybe even more because of that. And it was nice that Shishou asked if I wanted to come this time, instead of just… expecting I would.”

They watch the snow in silence for a long moment. Shigeo imagines laying down in it and letting the falling snow cover him. How long would it take? Until he was just another lump or indent in the frozen landscape? Although, as peaceful as it sounds, he probably wouldn’t like having that much snow on his face.

Tome-san thumps him on his back, breaking him out of his thoughts. “I feel like building a snowman. Wanna help?”

“Oh. Yeah!”

They leave the sanctuary of the porch and wade out into the snow. It’s only a few seconds before Tome-san gives up making her own path and walks in Shigeo’s footsteps. He doesn’t blame her; the snow is knee deep, making every step effortful. By the time they get to the flat area of what might be a lawn in warmer weather, Shigeo is breathing heavily and verging on lightheadedness. He flops onto his back like he’d imagined doing only minutes earlier.

“Hey.” Tome-san kicks his shoe. “You’re not giving up already, are you?”

“No,” Shigeo wheezes, staring at the sky and blinking hard when a snowflake lands in his eye. “I’m just… resting.”

“You’re not slacking off in your club, are you?” She kicks his shoe a few more times. He moves to kick back and she steps out of range. “Letting Sagawa do all the work?”

“I placed twelfth in this year’s marathon, you know.”

“And then you slacked off so hard, you lost a year’s progress in like. Two months. I see, I see.”

“No,” Shigeo protests, laughing. He sits up and brushes snow off his face.

Tome kneels down and starts packing together a snowball. It takes her a few tries before it stops falling apart when she tries to roll it and she laughs in triumph when she finally gets something bigger than a baseball.

Shigeo watches her push the ball around, packing snow onto the sides to keep it a little more even. He picks up some snow and tries to pack a ball of his own. It takes him a lot longer to get it rolling than it took Tome-san, and by the time he has a ball as big as his head, she’s already got a second ball of about the same size.

“Hey Mob-kun!” she calls a bit later. “Come stack these for me! Oh, and bring that over, too. That can be the head!”

Shigeo picks up the ball he’d been working on and walks over to Tome-san, taking the path she’d made with her work.

The first ball she’d made comes all the way up their hips, and the second is maybe about half that size. Shigeo puts down his own comparatively meager sized snowball and tries to lift the smaller of Tome-san’s. It takes him a few tries to get a good grip and then for the next few moments, his entire focus is on Not Dropping It. He clutches it to his chest. Leans back to distribute the weight. Staggers the few steps to his goal. Heaves it into place and holds onto the whole thing for a few seconds to make sure it won’t fall as soon as he lets go.

Then he collapses back into the snow.

Tome-san kicks his shoe.

“That was kind of impressive actually. I thought for sure you were going to use your powers. You should definitely use them for the next one, though.”

“Next… one?” Shigeo pants. Snowflakes tickle his eyelashes.

“Yeah. I want to see how big of a snowman we can make.” He hears Tome-san move around and the crunch of snow. “This one isn’t even as tall as me.”

Shigeo huffs a laugh. For awhile, he just listens to her pushing snow around. Then he sits up and looks at the snowman they’ve already made. Tome-san put the head on and packed snow into the places where the snowballs meet. It looks kind of lopsided and lumpy, stained with dirt and grass, not at all like the perfect white spheres you see in cartoons.

He kind of likes it.

Tome-san is making some weird noises, though, so he stands up and walks over to where she’s pushing ineffectually at a… very large snowball.

“Do you need help?”

“Come over and help me push!”

“With my powers?” Shigeo rests a hand on the ball. It’s about the same size as the bottom one of the complete snowman.

“No, that’s cheating.” She shifts around, digging her shoulder into it, shoes slipping on uncovered grass. “You have to- have to roll them naturally, or it doesn’t count.”

“But it’s okay to use psychic powers to stack them?”

Tome-san glares at him. “Are you going to help or not?”

He kneels beside her and braces himself against the packed snow. On three, they push together. It rolls over easily. The next few rolls are progressively less easy. They keep at it until, even with their combined efforts, they can’t get it to move.

Panting for air, they lean against the snowball, legs sprawled out before them. Shigeo is half sweaty, half freezing. Tome-san opens the top of her coat, so he expects she feels about the same.

“Do you… do you think… we can make the next one… just as big?”

Shigeo laughs, a stuttering, breathy thing.

They cannot, in fact, get the next one as big.

They get close, though, and Tome-san directs Shigeo to stack the two extremely large snowballs next to the first snowman. She rolls a third snowball for the head, no bigger than the head of the other. It sets Shigeo off to giggling.

“Wait, hold on. Look, look.” Tome-san pulls off a glove and digs her thumb into packed snow, drawing the shape of a tie on each snowman torso. “It’s-” She wheezes through laughter. “It’s Reigen-san and Serizawa-san.”

Shigeo makes an embarrassingly high-pitched noise. Shaking with renewed laughter, he packs together a snowball and places it at the feet of the snowmen. “D- Dimple,” he explains.

They both collapse into laughter, Tome-san howling with it.

“What’re you kids laughing at?”

Shishou approaches, walking in the trench of their foot prints that the still-falling snow had been working to cover and thus far only softened the edges of. Ritsu trails a few meters behind.

“Well, I guess those are some funny looking snowmen. Why is that one so much more shitty than the other though?”

“That one’s you, Shishou.”

Tome-san, who had almost regained composure, bursts into laughing again. Dimple pops into visibility to join her, and even Ritsu barks a laugh. Reigen-shishou gapes at him, baffled, or maybe betrayed, but Shigeo just grins, unrepentant.

“What the hell. Who’s the other one, then?”

“Serizawa-san, of course,” Tome-san answers, fighting giggles.

“And Dimple,” Shigeo adds, nudging said snowball with his foot.

“Hey,” Dimple complains, without heat.

“That’s kind of cute, actually,” Reigen-shishou decides.

“Nobody asked you,” Dimple mutters.

“But if you kids are getting up to this kind of stuff, you’re definitely in the mood for a snowball fight, yeah?”

Tome-san raises her eyebrows, then looks to Shigeo. He tilts his head, considering. “I don’t know Shishou, Tome-san and I are kind of tired.”

“Nonsense.” Reigen-shishou scoops some snow from the ground and starts packing it. “You kids need to lighten up. How often have you seen such great snowball weather?” He pulls back his arm, clearly aiming at Shigeo. “It’d be a shame to waste-”

A snowball hits Reigen-shishou in the head, disintegrating into a white halo. He stumbles forward with a shriek, almost face-planting in as-of-yet untouched snow.

“What’s wrong, Reigen-san,” Ritsu calls, gathering another handful of snow. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Reigen-shishou whips around and throws the snowball he’d intended for Shigeo at Ritsu. Ritsu doesn’t need to dodge the poorly aimed throw and doesn’t bother to. The next two snowballs hit Reigen-shishou in the chest, despite his attempts to dodge.

“Mob, Tome-chan, help me out here.”

Three snowballs hit Reigen-shishou at once.

Tome-san laughs. Her laugh cuts off into a shriek when a snowball hits her chest, right where her coat is still open.

“Mob, what the hell!”

She lunges toward him, scooping up snow to let loose over his head. He scrambles away, flinging loose snow behind him. He'd opened his own coat a bit, in the last efforts of making the snowmen, and she wastes no time in tackling him and shoving snow down his shirt.

They keep that up for awhile, shoving snow into each others faces and hair and clothes. Making to get up and run away, only to slip on the snowy ground or be tugged back down with the lightest pull. It’s Tome-san who finally calls a halt, breathing too heavily to laugh, but still smiling.

“That- that’s enough. It’s way too cold to keep doing this. Let’s go in.”

Despite her words, she doesn’t make any move to get up from where she’s sprawled in the snow. Shigeo doesn’t either, only rolling a bit to the side to get out of her personal space.

“Are you alright, Nii-san?” Ritsu calls.

“Mm.” Shigeo looks around. “Did Shishou go inside already?”

“Yeah.” Ritsu smirks. Then he steps closer holding out his hand. “We should, too. Your clothes are wet, and you’ll get sick if you stay in them too long.”

Shigeo takes Ritsu’s hand, accepting his help up. Tome-san stands by herself, brushing snow off her clothes. Dimple hovers around their heads, commenting on the fight. Together, they head inside to the warmth of the building, Serizawa-san’s questions, and Reigen-shishou’s complaining. Shigeo can’t stop smiling.

[heartzfromel]

Anges is a detective and must work with his ex?Reader must make a suspect speak and play a little of his charm Agatha sees red (happy ending)

i love you, i’m sorry

detective!agnes x fem!ex wife!reader

tags; agnes and reader kinda hate each other, touchy agnes, possessive agnes, arguing, rio being nosy, making out, drinking, jealous agnes, idiots in love, happy ending, reader teasing agnes, detective reader

“oh, and agnes?” the chief of westview’s police department spoke, propped up against the detective’s office doorframe.

“uh-huh?” she replied, not fully paying attention as she flicked through her case file for what seemed to be the eight hundredth time today.

“since the murders have been happening in both westview and eastview they wanted to bring someone from eastview over to assist with your investigation.” he explained, almost carefully.

“yeah, fine, whatever.” agnes answered, expecting him to leave, but the chief made no effort to move.

“something wrong, chief?” she asked, confusion and irritation lacing her tone, she really wanted to get back to her work.

“not exactly, i’m just not too sure you’re going to be too happy with who’s been sent over.”

“and why would that be?” anges pressed, shifting in her seat.

“well, it’s just, she’s-“ the chief began, struggling to find the words.

“right here.” you smirked, clicking your tongue as you finished his sentence for him.

the chief left the room instantly, and you kicked the door closed behind you, making your way over to the woman in front of you.

the look on agnes’ face was priceless. her jaw seemed to drop just about as much as her stomach did as she stared at her ex wife for the first time in a year, and she fought with herself to show some form of composure. you wouldn’t be surprised if she got up and started looking for cameras, wondering if vidal was up to her antics again, trying to play some sick joke on her.

“agnes, been a while.” you spoke, maintaining eye contact as you sat yourself onto her desk. as you got comfortable it became painfully obvious that the skirt you had chosen was absolutely the wrong one to wear today. you could’ve sworn it was longer when it was in the wardrobe this morning. agnes’ breath hitched, as she shifted in her seat, leaning back slightly. you bit your lip as you watched her eyes trail down you, and then all of a sudden she seemed to realise what she was doing, and her eyes were on yours once again.

“y/l/n” she answered, dropping eye contact as she attempted pick up her file again, freezing as she accidentally grazed your thigh when she picked it up.

“what has gotten you all worked up, detective?” you teased, smirking as you took the file from her hands, before giving it a read yourself.

“all the fresh blood,” she started, looking back up at you once again, “all the pretty young things like you who think they can control the whole investigation because they did good on one case that, as it just so happens, was a fluke. that’s what’s got me all worked up, detective.” she spoke, as she leaned in closer to you.

“mm, agnes, don’t you worry about me trying to control anything, we both know that’s your area of expertise.” you answered, your noses almost touching.

agnes took a deep breath as she pulled away from you, taking the file into her hands once again. “we’re going out.” she exclaimed abruptly, grabbing her coat and waiting expectantly at the door for you as you hurried to keep up with her. you couldn’t help but smile, as it reminded you of this time last year, where “we’re going out” meant that the two of you would sneak out of work for food or just an hour of time together. you missed that. you missed her.

working with agnes so far had been hell, and you weren’t shy about letting her know. it was either constant bickering or total silence at all times, and she always had to know more than you, because obviously you were stupid and she wasn’t.

you had been working together for a week now. “agnes, can we stop at the gas station on the way back?” you asked, trying to be as civil as possible with her.

“and why would we be doing that?” she replied, fingers tapping on the wheel. you couldn’t help but admire them as she glared at you, expecting an answer. it took you a total of eight seconds to realise you were staring.

“i gotta get my dinner,” you began, “the motel has terrible cooking appliances so i just get what i can from the gas station instead.”

agnes suddenly felt a pang of sympathy go through her. “you’ve been eating gas station food all week in that dusty motel?”

“i mean yeah, its the police department, not the fbi, we don’t have the funds for luxury.” you giggled.

“come over tonight.” agnes blurted out, eyes never leaving you.

“i- what?” you stuttered, her words shocking you.

“i’ll make dinner, i mean.” she rambled, realising the implications of her words, “no one should be eating anything out of that gas station, its disgusting.” she joked.

“okay then.” you answered, smiling a real smile for the first time since you left eastview.

if there was one thing you never forgot about agnes, it was how rancid her cooking tasted when you first started coming over. but that was over five years ago, and you had helped her improve over time. now whatever she made was cooked to perfection and tasted incredible. you couldn’t help but smile as she unlocked her door, urging you inside. it reminded you of when you were hers, you missed it. if only she knew how you still longed for her, how she was the only thing you ever thought about, how whenever you were with other partners you’d imagine it was her, because no one ever made you feel the way she did.

“make yourself at home.” she spoke, you could tell she was nervous. you smiled sadly at her words, sitting on the couch you used to sit on every night, whilst she pattered about the kitchen organising ingredients and acting like you’d never lived there. like she hadn’t had you on the kitchen counter every night, like she didn’t kiss you for the first time at her front door, like you hadn’t slept in that bed with her every night and woke up with her every morning, like she hadn’t proposed to you on the very sofa you were sat on right now.

all the reminiscing seemed to have taken more time than you thought it would, because agnes was now putting two plates on the table, along with a case of beer. “dinner’s up.” she smiled as you sat down.

you watched her eyes widen as you popped open one of the beers and began to drink it. she knew you hated the stuff, but you knew damn well you were going to need it tonight. “thirsty?” she smirked as you practically guzzled the stuff. “mm” was all you could reply with.

you slowly brought the spaghetti that she had made up to your mouth before tasting it. you made a sound of pleasure as you had been hungry for the last two hours, and that did not go unnoticed by agnes, her eyes widened and she shifted around in her seat, before taking a swig of her own beer.

��good?” she asked you, fidgeting with her hands.

“incredible.” you answered, smiling at her.

“learned from the best.” she grinned.

after you had finished up, you both sat on the couch, the tv on for background noise, the pair of you swigging beers. there was now only one left in the case, and both of you were getting tipsy. you don’t remember when it happened, but you were both incredibly close to each other. deciding to test the waters, you rested your head on her shoulder. you felt agnes let out a sigh as she draped her arm around you. you leaned into her, looking up at her face as she looked down at yours. there was a long pause as you both began to realise what was happening.

“agnes.” you whispered.

“yeah?” she answered softly.

“what happened to us?” you asked, the tone of your voice clearly doing something for agnes, whose pupils were now fully dilated.

“i don’t know, honey, i don’t know.” she answered, stroking your hair.

you don’t know how it started happening, but the two of you both began to lean in. your lips brushed together slightly before you hesitated, but agnes didn’t have the ssme self control as you, as she grabbed your face with her hands and pressed her lips against yours, sighing in what seemed to be relief. she started out soft with you, but soon enough she was kissing you hard and rough. her hands slid down to your waist amd before you knew what was happening she had pulled you into her lap. she gripped your waist hard with one hand and dragged the other up your body soft and slow.

she bit your bottom lip harshly, and your mouth opened slightly, her tongue slipping in as she swallowed the moan that left yours. her lips began to trail sown your neck as she bit under your ear, causing a shiver to run up your spine. needing more, you rolled your hips against her.

“agnes, please.” you mumbled against her lips, causing her to let out a loud groan.

“baby, we can’t, you know we can’t.” she whispered, her hands now on your face.

“why not?” you whined.

“because, look at the state of us.” she pressed. she was right, neither of you were in your right minds right now.

“let’s go to bed, hm baby?” she suggested, hands steady on your waist.

“okay, lets go.” you mumbled, as she lifted you from her lap.

not sharing the bed wasn’t even a question, and you were glad. you were glad that she still felt comfortable around you.

“goodnight, y/n.” agnes whispered softly.

“goodnight, agnes.” you replied.

the next morning, you woke up with possibly the worst headache you’d ever had, made worse by your phone alarm blaring in your ear. much to your disappointment, the bed was empty. on the nightstand was a glass of water aspirin, which you took gratefully and got dressed for work. you were glad you always brought extra clothes with you everywhere, or some questions would definitely be raised at work. as you went to get a look at your hair in the mirror, you gasped at the sight of yourself, hurrying to grab your makeup bag in order to cover up the mess agnes had made of your neck. thankfully, you were particularly skilled at that sort of thing, and now no one would be any of the wiser.

when you got downstairs, agnes sat waiting at the kitchen counter.

“took you long enough. we’re gonna be late.” she spoke. you would’ve teased her or made a joke but her tone was telling you she was not happy today, so you just apologised and made your way to the car. she didn’t talk to you for the whole car journey, and didnt even acknowledge you when you got to work.

you were supposed to be interviewing a suspect today, some creep who was particularly into lady cops who fit ypur description, so you weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the thought, but whatever got the job done. you fixed your lipstick and undid a few buttons on your shirt before throwing your hair around, shooting one last glance at agatha, and her colleague, rio vidal, who gave you a reassuring smile, before walking in.

the whole interview, you got to the point with your questions, whilst also acting like a total klutz.

it was going fine, you were flirting with the suspect, landing little touches on his arm and giving him the eyes the whole time. vidal had to hand it to you, you were quite the actress. she smirked to herself as her eyes found agnes, who seemed to be seconds away from running in there and hitting the guy. you had decided to make the mistake on glancing at the glass, your eyes meeting agnes even though you couldn’t see her, and then leaning over the suspect, subtly showing a little chest to get him to talk. that was it, apparently. you heard a loud bang outside, which just so happened you be agnes slamming her hand on the table, before the door jolted open.

“that’s it!” she spat, grabbing onto the collar of your shirt and dragging you out. vidal smirked, raising her eyebrows as you yelled at your ex wife and she just grunted in protest, dragging you into her office, slamming the door behind you.

“agnes, what are you-“ you began, but were quickly interrupted.

“what the hell was that?” she spat, seething as her grip tightened.

“what was what, agnes?” you yelled back at her, confusion painting your features.

“that little stunt you pulled with the suspect.” she replied, looking at you as if you were stupid.

“i’m doing my job agnes.” you answered in shock.

“oh and showing yourself off like some prize is your job now, is it? i’ll tell you, if i checked the protocall for interrogations i doubt i’d find that in there, y/n.” she began, yelling at you by the end of the sentence.

“why do you care so much, agnes?” you yelled back.

“because you’re mine.” she answered, teeth gritted together as she walked you into the door, leaving no space between you as she leaned into you.

“agnes, stop.”

“why? you were begging for it last night.” she mumbled. you knew she was too far gone already, and you had to snap her out of it, but you couldn’t help the noise that escaped your throat at her words.

“agnes.” you spoke, timidly as if not to upset her.

“hm?” she answered, eyes meeting yours as she removed her head from resting on your shoulder.

“stop,” you spoke, voice firm, as you pulled her face into your hands, “we can’t keep doing this.” you whispered, as much as it pained you to do so.

“yes we can.” she answered, leaning into your touch as if she hadn’t had any for years.

“no we can’t.” you told her, as one hand went to her hair, in muscle memory. she put her hands on your waist as she slowly guided you over so she could sit down. you were now standing in between her legs as her hands ran up and down her sides.

“why are you just throwing this away, y/n?” she whined, pulling you onto her lap once again. you couldn’t find it in yourself to protest, she knew you wanted her just as much as she wanted you, she could see right through you.

“i didn’t throw anything away, agnes. you threw everything away when you left me.” you mumbled, shying away from her tough as her hands reached your neck and face. this had seemed to calm her down.

“and it was the worst thing i’ve ever done.” she confessed, avoiding eye contact.

“what?” you whispered, pulling her face so she’d look at you.

“i mean it, y/n. leaving you is my biggest regret. i hate myself for it, and i’m so, so sorry.” she rambled.

“agnes, don’t apologise, work was stressing you out, and we wanted different things, it happens.”

“it shouldn’t have happened to us. i’m so sorry i ignored you, and i’m sorry that the only thing we seemed to do together was fight, and i’m sorry-“

“agnes, stop. it’s in the past now.”

“what i’m trying to say is that i don’t want us to be in the past. i miss you, y/n, every day.” she was looking at you like you were everything she had ever wanted, and you believed her.

“agnes, i-“ you began, but you were quickly cut off.

“last night was the first time i felt truly happy since i left. you know that, right?” she whispered, both hands rubbing your neck.

“agnes…” her name came out strained, as she pressed down slightly.

“please, y/n. one chance.” she begged.

“i promise, baby, i’ll never leave you again, i p-“

you melted at the nickname, and your lips were on hers before she could finish her sentence, leaning back as she repositioned you on her lap, her hands gripping your waist, hard. the kiss was different from the ome from last night, fuelled with more passion and emotion.

“mm, agnes.” you gasped, her swallowing your moan, “i missed you.”

she laughed lightly into the kiss as one hand travelled further down, “i missed you too, baby.”

she was about to get you up onto the table when the door burst open, vidal storming in.

“you happy now, o’connor?” she yelled, not paying attention to anything that was happening.

“you have really got to get your priorities straight, she was doing her job for god’s sake, and- oh my god.” she whispered that last part as she suddenly took in her surroundings, “i am so sorry.” she giggled, leaving the room as quickly as possible. agnes let out a sigh as you giggled into her, arms wrapped around her neck as you placed a peck to her lips.

“lets finish this at home, shall we?” you smiled, as she shook her head, finally letting out a laugh.

[psychoticfemmm]

over my shoulder

pairing: frat!jj maybank x reader

summary: At a wild frat party, you get frustrated with JJ for ignoring you while he hangs with his frat brothers.

The party was in full swing, music thumping loud enough to rattle the windows, red Solo cups everywhere. You weaved through the throng of people, trying to keep up with JJ as he stopped every five seconds to fist-bump someone, down a beer, or laugh obnoxiously at some inside joke with his frat brothers.

“JJ,” you tugged on his arm, leaning closer so he could hear you. “Can we just hang out for a bit? Alone?”

He grinned at you, but his eyes darted to the pong table across the room. “Just a sec, babe. Gotta crush Pete and Logan real quick. I’ll find you after, okay?”

Before you could respond, he was gone, swept up in the chaos of his fraternity’s party. You exhaled sharply, annoyance bubbling in your chest. Rolling your eyes, you spun around and headed toward your friend, Riley, who was standing near the kitchen.

“JJ ditch you for his bros again?” Riley teased, handing you a fresh drink.

“Shocker, right?” you muttered, taking a sip.

As the two of you talked, a guy wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of JJ’s rival frat strolled up to you, a cocky grin plastered across his face. “Hey, haven’t seen you around here before. You a Chi Alpha girl?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Nope. Just here for the beer pong champion who’s too busy to hang out with me.”

“Ah, classic Delta Nu. They’re always like that,” he said, leaning a little too close. “Maybe you need someone who actually pays attention to you.”

Before you could respond, you heard a familiar voice cut through the music. “Hey, buddy, back off.”

You turned to see JJ storming over, jaw tight and eyes blazing. He shoved the guy back a step, beer sloshing out of the guy’s cup.

“Seriously, JJ?” you snapped, folding your arms.

“He was hitting on you,” JJ said, glaring at the guy.

“Maybe if you weren’t too busy for me, I wouldn’t have to entertain myself!” you shot back.

The guy smirked, clearly enjoying the drama. “Looks like you’ve got some issues to work out, man.”

That was the wrong thing to say. JJ lunged at him, but a few of his brothers grabbed his arms, pulling him back. “Not worth it, bro,” one of them muttered.

JJ huffed, clearly still fuming. He turned back to you, and before you could protest, he grabbed you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.

“JJ! Put me down!” you shouted, pounding your fists on his back.

“Nope. You’re coming with me,” he said, ignoring your protests as he carried you up the stairs to his room.

Once inside, he kicked the door shut and set you down on his bed. “Alright, princess, let’s talk.”

You crossed your arms, still fuming. “Talk? Now you want to talk?”

He stepped closer, his hands on either side of your hips. “I’m sorry, okay? I was being an idiot.”

“Yeah, you were,” you said, turning your head when he leaned in to kiss you.

JJ chuckled, clearly amused by your defiance. “Oh, you’re mad mad, huh?”

“Gee, what gave it away?” you deadpanned.

He cupped your face, forcing you to look at him. “I’m really sorry, babe. Let me make it up to you.”

“How?” you asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

His lips crashed into yours before you could say anything else. At first, you resisted, but his hand slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him as his tongue grazed your bottom lip. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that escaped, and he took full advantage, deepening the kiss until your frustration began to melt.

When he pulled back, his lips brushed against your jaw as he murmured, “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend tonight, but let me show you how much I hate when you’re mad at me.”

You swallowed, your annoyance quickly giving way to something else entirely. “This better be good, JJ.”

He smirked, his voice low as he trailed kisses down your neck. “Oh, babe, you won’t be thinking about anyone else by the time I’m done.”

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

let me know if I should do more au's like this⋆. 𐙚 ˚

[fast-burn]

Maxiel + 14. Sloppy seconds !!

i think this is maybe my most requested kink 😂 but you gotta give the people what they want! hope you don't mind if i add background garage gangbang into this (and also cw for drug use reference, off-screen)

kink list here

XXX

Generally Daniel tries not to live with regrets, but he's a little miffed that the whole thing with Max's mechanics began after he left Red Bull. Granted, it couldn't have started before. The concept of Max coming off his first race and his first win getting gangbanged within an inch of his life is something Daniel avoids thinking about like someone might avoid grasping a hot poker. That whole idea is just--well yeah, better not.

Still though, it's like Red Bull didn't start having real fun until Daniel was out of the picture. Not that Daniel would have joined or anything, but it would have been nice to have the invitation.

Daniel is in the hotel lobby, late, buying chamomile tea from the bar instead of room service because--he doesn't know. Better to put a couple euros on his credit card rather than charging it to the team? He's just in time to see GP and Calum walk in with Max propped up between them. They each have an arm around his curved waist. Max moves sluggishly, but he seems happy. Downright blissful. They carry him to the elevator and Daniel holds out his AmEx to tap it against the machine.

It takes maybe three minutes of Daniel being back in his own room before he's texting Max.

you good?

yes very good is Max's reply, almost immediately.

Daniel bites his lip. His mind is blank.

wanna come up and watch a movie or something? can't sleep

lol netflix and chill? Max asks, and well that's not-not what Daniel meant. He totally gets if Max is too tired for it. Hardly a big deal.

He says up to you, we can just hang if you want, and then rm 1220.

Daniel sips his tea and then goes to brush his teeth. He's rearranging his curls, trying to make them look fuller, when finally Max knocks on the door.

"Hi Daniel," he says, leaning in the doorway, eyes half-lidded, body swaying like he's drunk. He isn't drunk. He's probably taken a ton of poppers, but now he's genuinely just tired, the effects long since worn off. Daniel scoops him into the room.

Max is easy to direct to the bed, and as soon as he lays down he starts kicking off his shoes, toes prying down the heels before he flicks his ankles and nearly launches them at the goddamn TV. He smiles up at Daniel, the stretch of his mouth a shiny with a smear of lip balm and sore-looking in the corners. He makes grabby hands until Daniel crawls on top of him. Cute. The last time they did this, Max said he always wanted a breather after it all, but once he cooled down he wanted the weight of something anchoring him. Daniel isn't particularly heavy, but he's happy to provide in whatever way he can.

"I don't think I can come again," Max says, rubbing his face against Daniel's neck. His stubble is so scratchy-rough-good, dragging against the grain of Daniel's own beard, that Daniel shivers over and over. "But I'm not ready to sleep yet."

"Lucky me," says Daniel. "You wanna talk about it?"

Max makes a vague noise, but then he gives Daniel the post-gangbang report in broad strokes. They put several big packing blankets down on the garage floor, they took turns, they made sure his holes were always full, they cleaned him up when they were done. Daniel is hard when Max finally snuffles into Daniel's collar and says, "That's all, just the usual. Pretty simple stuff."

The pictures flashing through Daniel's mind aren't simple at all. It's like that guy with the painting of the staircases, tangled up in all different angles. He grinds his dick against the bed in the soft, open vee of Max's legs.

"I don't think I--" Max starts.

Daniel interrupts him. "No. No, I know."

"You would be very nice, Daniel. It's not you that is the problem."

It's twelve to fifteen guys other than me, Daniel thinks to himself, then chastises himself for being jealous. They're not a couple, and Max loves these nights. It makes him feel connected to everyone. It makes him feel so satisfied that he has to be hand-delivered back to the hotel, poured into Daniel's bed to sleep it off for eight hours.

"Can I just take a look?" He asks instead, and Max nods, twists in Daniel's arms until he's flat on his stomach.

"I won't fall asleep," Max promises.

"You can if you want. It was a big day." Daniel tugs Max's soft pants down: Red Bull-branded sweats. It was probably impossible to get him back into his tight jeans, afterwards.

The skin on Max's arse and thighs is red-hot, spanked all over, but nothing looks bruised. Daniel skims his hands across, barely touching but Max still squirms against the sensation. The mechanics clearly love Max so much. They give him exactly what he needs and nothing more, always working together like a well-oiled machine even when said machine is a train they're running on Max.

Daniel slides his thumbs between Max's cheeks, starting from his taint and un-zippering upward, spreading Max so Daniel can inspect the damage. Someone has cleaned him up, got him all sorted out. His hole is like a halved cherry, like Max's lips when he's been biting them, all puffy and used and raw. Daniel can't help but press his face into it.

Max whines lightly when Daniel licks across his hole. He tastes like antiseptic and aloe, and beneath that copper and salt and the undeniable flavour of latex. "Everybody wrapped up?" Daniel asks, almost directly into Max's arsehole.

"Yes, of course," Max says. "It would be too messy if they didn't."

And there's another thought Daniel shouldn't have: Max so full of sperm that he's leaking down his crack and across his balls, all of it mixed together into a mystery sludge, and Daniel could suck every drop out of him.

"You can come on me, though, if you want," Max offers then, and Daniel doesn't need to be told twice.

Daniel kisses up Max's spine and shoves his hand into his own pants, pulls his dick out and strips it fast. He can't be bothered for finesse, suddenly on the edge, totally desperate. "They really got you good, huh?" He asks, mouthing Max's shoulders, his neck, the shell of his ear the same colour as his slapped arse.

"Mm hm," Max murmurs, face mashed into Daniel's pillow. He's gonna pass out any moment. "It was so lovely, Daniel. I wish I could just get fucked like that all the time, but then it wouldn't be special. I can still feel them all, inside. Like they are still doing it. Here, feel," he says, and pulls Daniel's free hand back to his hole just in time for Daniel to feel it pulse and throb against the tips of his fingers, a needy little mouth. And Daniel feeds it, striping Max's back and thighs and arse with his release as he comes.

[birlemsbae]

────୨ৎ──── bring home the babies .ᐟ

someone requested this a WHILE AGO and i never did it … (deepest apologies to that person 🙏)

────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ────

finding out you were pregnant was not on your bucket list for this year.

you were twenty-two, still in college trying to get your degree, paying for you and matt’s apartment through a minimum wage job. you barely have time for matt, how the fuck were you supposed to take care of a kid?

matt was over the moon. he had always dreamt of being a dad. having a mini him was just something he always wanted. you too, honestly. you wanted to becomes a mom so bad.

having a daughter was the best thing you could ever think of. having a mini you running around that you could teach everything too was just something you wanted so bad. you even could dress her up in cute outfits!

however, at twenty-two you’re just getting started with life. so when you and matt found out you were pregnant, you weren’t the happiest. at first at least.

the first three months of your pregnancy, had to be the worst things you could possibly go through.

morning sickness was just kicking your ass. throwing up your guys was just something you didn’t know if you could do everyday. and it was everyday. you didn’t know you had enough stomach fluid to even throw it up and then regenerate it back.

matt was there through your every move. he would hold your hair back whenever you’d throw up. he’d rub your back and tell you that everything was okay and he was there.

he even went as far as to watch a tutorial on how to braid hair so he could braid your hair at night so it wouldn’t be in your face in the mornings.

“matt, please you don’t have to do this.” you would protest, but he would never let you win.

“i’m doing this, you’re gonna thank me in the morning, babe.” and you sure did. everytime.

it’s one of those moments where you’re extremely grateful for matt. he just tries his hardest to make you genuinely happy. he loves seeing you happy. whether he’s surprising you with flowers, or braiding your hair at night. the little favors he does, mean the world to you.

you had your gender reveal in september. you and matt had already known it was a boy for the longest time but your entire family was hard at waiting.

you had the most beautiful scenery. white tulips every where, the grass was the perfect shade of green for the fall time. it was just perfect. it wasn’t cold but it wasn’t hot outside it was just perfect.

when you did reveal to everyone that you were having a boy, everyone went ballistic.

“i’m really gonna be an uncle to a little boy!” nick exclaimed with excitement.

“i’m gonna teach it how to pick up all the girls with my nasty pick-up lines.” chris said.

“alright buddy, let’s at least wait til his here to do that.” matt would clap back.

marylou and your mom were so excited they got you so many gifts for the baby. they got you diapers, pacifiers, clothes, everything you could’ve asked for.

when it came time for birth, no lie, you were actually so scared. you didn’t know if he was gonna rip your vagina like you had seen with these other moms. where they had to get stitches and other work done. you laid in the hospital bed with those exact same thoughts.

“what if he rips my pussy in half?” you asked matt.

“what? babe your overthinking again. i promise everything is going to go totally fine. your not gonna rip in half. and if you do, it’s two more holes for me to fill, hm?” he smirked.

“oh my god, you can’t take anything serious!!” you laugh at him and nudge his shoulder.

labor wasn’t as bad as you thought. you had gotten the epidural and you couldn’t really feel anything. just the way you liked it. your baby boy was born on october 27th, at 9:21pm.

holding your baby for the first time was a different kind of love. you held him like he was a fragile trophy and everything about him was perfect.

the nurses scurried him away to get cleaned and changed and you were just excited to get away from all the pain. your first meal was your favorite, and matt made sure to get it as soon as you asked.

the nurses brought him back all cleaned and changed into his first outfit. a navy blue newborn onesie with elephants on it.

“oh my god, he’s perfect.” you looked up at matt, who was already looking at him and pointing at all his features.

“he has your beautiful eyes.” he said. “and god look at all that hair.”

“guess all that heartburn was worth it.” you laughed.

a few days after he was born, everyone came to see him. your mom, marylou, nick, chris, jimmy, justin, all your friends and family. everyone. and everyone kept asking the same question.

“are you gonna tell us his name already?”

you and matt just looked at eachother and smiled and knew today was the day.

“alright alright. we will tell you his name,” everyone looked at the both of you with listening ears on. you nodded for him to proceed.

“his name is oliver james sturniolo.” matt said. everyone was ‘oooing’ and ‘aaaaaahing’ at the name.

you and matt knew you made the right choice then.

days and days went by in the hospital and you thought you were in there forever. until it was time to go home. you could finally bring your baby home.

“alright little man let’s get you in this car seat.” matt said to the baby while you packed everything up.

“let’s go, little ollie.”

“ollie?” matt asked. “already got a nickname for ‘em?”

“yes actually!” you said and he just laughed.

the car ride home was peaceful and quiet. “he’s definitely not a crier.” matt laughed.

“thank god.” you replied.

opening the doors finally. not pregnant but with your newborn and your faithful husband.

[kateschi]

silent watcher, louder heart

synopsis: there’s something about the way you move, the way you hold your daughter, that leaves katsuki wordless.

pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader

⊹ ࣪ ˖ notes: nothing makes me happier than dad bakugou and happy new year everyone

the soft rustling of leaves outside filters through the cracked window, mingling with the faint cries of a baby—your baby.

the sun dips low in the sky, casting a warm, golden hue across the living room, where you sit cross-legged on the floor, gently cradling your child.

the sight is mesmerizing, even to him—a man who’s seen explosions tear through buildings, fire rip apart the darkness, and yet nothing compares to this.

katsuki leans against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, his sharp crimson eyes fixed on you and your baby.

he doesn’t say anything—doesn’t even clear his throat to announce his presence.

he just stands there, silent and steady, watching.

your fingers move deftly, smoothing out the soft folds of your baby’s blanket. your voice is a quiet murmur, a melody only meant for the tiny ears that listen so intently.

“there you go, sweetie. all cozy now, aren’t you?” she gurgles in response, kicking little legs as if to agree.

you giggle softly, the sound light and airy, and katsuki feels something in his chest tighten.

it’s been months since the two of you brought this tiny human into the world, but he still isn’t used to the sight of you like this—radiant, tender, an embodiment of warmth and care.

he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it. not that he’d ever say it out loud.

“y/n,” he finally says, his voice gruff but not unkind. “you’re spoilin’ her, y’know.”

you glance up, startled at first, but the sight of your husband leaning in the doorway makes your lips curve into a smile.

“and who exactly taught me how to spoil her, huh? wasn’t it you, bakugou katsuki, who bought her that ridiculously overpriced onesie with the baby dynamight logo?”

he scowls, the tips of his ears turning red. “that was different.”

“of course it was.” your teasing tone makes him bristle, but he doesn’t move. he stays rooted in place.

d/n lets out a small coo, her tiny hand reaching up to grab at the air. you shift her in your arms, guiding her chubby fingers toward one of her toys.

she babbles happily, her eyes wide and curious, and katsuki feels his heart stutter.

how the hell did he end up here—married to you, father to this perfect little bundle of energy?

“she’s gettin’ big,” he mutters, stepping into the room.

his heavy boots make the wooden floor creak, and he almost winces, instinctively lightening his steps as he approaches.

“she is,” you agree, not taking your eyes off your little girl. “she’s growing so fast. I feel like I’ll blink, and she’ll already be running around, causing trouble.”

katsuki snorts, settling down onto the couch. “if she’s causin’ trouble, that’s definitely your fault.”

“oh, really? because I’m the troublemaker in this relationship?” you glance at him, raising an eyebrow.

“damn right, you are.” he leans back, arms draped over the backrest, but his eyes stay on you.

“don’t think I’ve forgotten how you were always stirrin’ shit in high school. sneakin’ into the common room to steal snacks, callin’ me an idiot every time I told you to quit it.”

“hella ironic coming from you house-arrest, and I wasn’t stirring anything,” you protest, feigning innocence. “I was keeping life interesting.”

his brow twitches. “yeah, well, you’re passin’ that on to her,” he says, nodding toward the baby. “she’s got your attitude, y’know.”

“oh, so now she’s my responsibility when she’s being difficult?”

“she’s always your responsibility,” he shoots back, smirking. “you’re the one who decided to marry me, remember? you signed up for this.”

you roll your eyes, but there’s no heat behind it. “and yet, somehow, you’ve manage to make it worth it.”

the corners of katsuki’s mouth twitch, the beginnings of a smile threatening to break through.

but instead of replying, he focuses on d/n, who’s now clutching her toy with surprising determination.

“she’s strong,” he says, his voice softer. “got a good grip for a runt.”

“she gets that from you,” you reply, brushing a kiss against your baby girl’s forehead. “I think she’s going to take after you in a lot of ways.”

“hope not,” he mutters, his gaze clouding for a moment. “don’t want her growin’ up with my temper.”

you frown, sitting up straighter. “katsuki—”

“don’t,” he cuts you off, shaking his head. “I’m just sayin’. she’s better off with your patience.”

you pause, studying him carefully. for all his bluster, katsuki has always been his own harshest critic. he sees himself as flawed, rough around the edges.

but you’ve never seen him that way—not for a second.

“she’ll have the best of both of us,” you say firmly, holding his gaze. “and she’ll be okay because she has you as her dad.”

he doesn’t respond right away, his eyes flicking down to d/n instead. she’s staring at him now, her big, innocent eyes locked on his face.

katsuki reaches out, hesitating for just a moment before gently brushing a finger against her tiny hand. she grabs it immediately, her grip surprisingly strong, and he lets out a quiet chuckle.

“feisty little thing,” he hums.

he then leans back against the couch, watching as you lift her onto your shoulder, patting her back in a soothing rhythm.

she lets out a small yawn, her tiny body relaxing against you, and katsuki feels that familiar warmth spreading through his chest.

it’s moments like these that remind him why he fights so damn hard—why he throws himself into battle with everything he’s got.

because at the end of the day, he gets to come home to this.

to you. to her. to a life he never dared to dream of.

kofi — navigation — masterlist

do not copy, translate, or plagarize

[jellybeanium124]

"Hey," Stede said awkwardly, shuffling out onto the back porch where Zheng was smoking from her pipe.

"Hi," Zheng replied, turning towards him, surprise apparent in her eyes.

Stede knew why she was surprised. They weren't exactly best friends. Their relationship was deeply awkward, and she was the one person he almost dreaded seeing whenever the crew stopped by to visit him and Ed. Sure, Jackie had threatened to cut off his nose the day they met and was technically involved with the English plot to get him killed, but Jackie let bygones be bygones and didn't have a socially awkward bone in her body. Her charisma, plus her pulling him aside once and telling him that she couldn't've picked a better man for Ed if she tried, made even their relationship feel smooth as silk. Zheng on the other hand? She had an awkward streak in her that ran deep, and Stede wasn't sure she'd ever fully forgive him for everything that happened, or even wanted to be his friend.

But Stede was the kind of person who wanted to be friends with everyone, if he could. Unless that person was an asshole, then fuck 'em.

So, he was going to try. Because he didn't like the idea of dreading someone's presence, especially someone as cool as Zheng. She and Ed got on like a house on fire, and Stede hated feeling like an awkward third wheel around them.

"So... how are... things?" Stede asked.

Zheng sighed. "Things are fine, Bonnet. What do you want?"

"What do I want? Nothing."

Zheng rolled her eyes. "Course you want something. Why else would you come out here and bother me?"

Stede pursed his lips. "I wanted to apologize, actually... for my behavior, the night that the Republic fell and you lost your entire crew."

Zheng's face grew more thoughtful.

"I was a complete thickheaded pig. You kicked my arse just like you should've. And you saved me more than once! And I was completely insensitive about the fact that you thought your aunt was dead. I was horrible. I'm sorry."

Zheng looked down and fiddled with her pipe. "I forgive you, Stede. I'm sorry too. You were really going through it, and I didn't care. Me and Ed talked about it since... I totally get why you acted like a bit of a thickheaded pig. You lost your boyfriend, and you thought you were about to lose your friends too. I didn't really get how you worked as a captain. Obviously I had no idea about what happened with Ed, and frankly I thought it was bizarre that you seemed to feel so entitled to your current crew. Olu and Jim explained to me after that that's not really what it was at all. They called you family, you know."

Stede blushed a little.

"Oh, well, um, yeah. Olu was one of my first real friends, from before I even met Ed. Jim was a lot quieter then, but I think they count too. I forgive you too, you were well within your rights. I just... I don't want things to feel so awkward between us."

Zheng crookedly smiled at him. "Well, I'm down to try and make it feel less awkward if you are."

"Yes! Please."

Zheng gave a friendly sock in the arm. "Alright, Bonnet. Let's go back in and hang out with the group, huh?"

"Alright! Yes!"

Zheng waked in and Stede followed her happily. It felt good to get that off his chest, and it went better than expected. He hoped Zheng would forgive him, but he hadn't thought she'd be so understanding and empathetic. He had been miserable that night. He still thought apologizing was the right thing to do, but it felt good to be understood. So far, Ed was the only person he knew who ever really understood his emotions. The idea that people besides Ed might be able to understand his feelings made him feel... hopeful. And like there wasn't something wrong with him.

Someday, he and Zheng would be much better friends, and Stede would learn that he could express when he was hurting without being attacked.

Maybe a bit selfish but I wish someone could have noticed how much Stede was hurting in the scene where he antagonises Zheng. Ed left him and suddenly part of his crew wants to go with her?? He feels like he’s about to lose his family!!!

[nicoleanell]

Still on my kick of meta-ing about IWTV season 2 a few months too late. LOUMAND FIGHT TIME. I gotta be sad about something real quick.

There's definitely a thing in the Armand-apologist side of fandom (the street where I live) where it's often brought up that nothing Armand says in that argument is quite as vile and monstrous as the "groomed me into a little bitch" line. My obligatory disclaimer IN FAIRNESS TO LOUIS: (a) it's certainly not a one-sided fight and they do both get some very ugly hits in, (b) Armand was the sober one (I don't actually think that's much of an excuse but worth pointing out he immediately forgot what happened and apologized even BEFORE any mind-meddling), and (c) holy shit the rest of the episode exists and nothing that preceded Louis' suicide attempt was a justification for the way Armand reacted after it. Cool? Cool.

But still - yeah. That line is gross and extremely Not funny to me. It crosses such a huge line so fast there's almost nothing either of them could say to de-escalate from that. (In fact I'd argue it crosses a line FOR THE AUDIENCE more than it even registers as that bad to Armand, which in itself is kinda sad. Like… his instinct in that moment is laughing and throwing trauma insults back in a stupid Southern accent. He was - I cannot stress this enough - more upset by being called boring.)

I think there's something interesting about the fact that in universe the way Armand responds by mocking Louis' brother's suicide is just as horrible - because Paul's death is meant to be something that was formatively traumatic and life-changing for Louis - but I'm not sure that it fully hits the audience as viscerally terrible on the same level as making fun of Armand being raped by his daddy-vampire and others as. a. child.

But anyway, with the understanding no one came out taking the high road there... the thing that actually kills me about that exchange is we KNOW in that moment, watching them hurl these horrible horrible words at each other: these are things they opened up to each other about in the past. These are things they told each other. They've been together for decades already. This isn't a "digging into your head and pulling stuff out" kind of thing, like some fuckin' Daniel or whatever. This isn't common knowledge of their backstories just because the audience knows it already. They're both acting like "this is a thing you whine about all the time" when they've whined about it to vanishingly few people in the world, actually!!

Armand brings up Paul and Grace because Louis has talked about them, and he listened. Louis has told him about watching Paul step off the roof, about Grace at the cemetary. And Armand told Louis everything about Marius, and Louis filed that away in his brain with some extra words that Armand didn't use. At one point or another, they both unpacked the heaviest shit that ever happened to them and said "have this, I think it's why I am the way I am", they shared these things with each other in moments of intimacy and vulnerability and said "don't hurt me with this, obviously, okay?" And now they're here, unloading it all back onto each other as mockery. Yeah, I've heard you say all that stuff about your damage, and it's fucking pathetic and hilarious actually. It's not just like "I'm trying to hurt you by bringing this up", it's also "you've always sounded ridiculous to me when you talked about this stuff, you know that, right? I pretended to feel bad for you and I truly could not care less."

Like one of the reasons I think that scene is so jaw-dropping is there's so much intimacy and familiarity with each other implied and also shattered by it. And man how DO you ever get back from that. I would start the memory-erasing from that moment forward for sure.

[goodlucktai]

Now that 2024 is coming to a close:

1) Of everything you've made this year, which ones are you the most proud of?

2) What are a few of your favorite things (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

thank you so much for the ask ! i'm going to do my best, but i just know i'm going to leave something out and kick myself for it later

regarding my own stories from this year, i would say the archer au raised on little light and my rise movie remix now the darkness comes alive are the two that i'm the most proud of. but coming in right behind them would be my orphan leo au till you can breathe on your own and post-movie rise splinter study a bigger heart grew back

as for other people's stuff from this year:

everything @remedyturtles and @dandylovesturtles writes is deserving of accolades and a million dollars each, but specifically stare directly at the sun (i say, surprising no one) and Firefight by rem, and I May Be Invisible... and emotional support water bottles by Dandy

@mykimouser wrote You could make this place beautiful which changed my life, and Forget-Me-Nots which ruined it /pos

You can have three wishes... (as well as the rest of their rise fics honestly) by @mad4turtles

London Bridge has Fallen Down by ParvumAutomaton is their latest in a line of amazing rise fics, and as always i went back for an immediate reread the first time i finished it

everything by @angelmichelangelo but definitely the brothers au !

Pod Save Manhattan by CaveDwellers is such a feel-good turtle soup for the soul type of story, i loved it immensely

two lies and a truth by TheFifthPevensieChild hurt !! a lot !! but the resolution more than made up for it

Keep the Nightlight On by @liketheletter-l is a comfort fic of mine if i'm being so honest and so is tuck your head under the covers by lasanya539, i reread these when i need to feel a shrimp emotion

The Neon Void by sugarpastels was very intense (and it gets worse before it gets better) but i just adored the ending

Martry's Mother Tongue by @mangogreent is something i will never stop thinking about (and that is a threat)

Power Up by @pickledcarrotsandradish gave me 12 brand new mental illnesses, radish knows what she's done

Growing Pains by TwiceTheTrouble is one that i've enjoyed following, the characterization of everyone in it is just chefs kiss

@soldrawss' It Keeps Us Dancing AU is so special to me and her art is beautiful and she also created an animatic for my son gio in the archer au that i have literally watched 306 times

Here There Be Turtles ( @heretherebeturtles-comic ) by @theelvishfiddler has been absolutely INCREDIBLE, the skill is off the charts, i look forward to every new post !

@wickcipher's comic You've Been Portal Jacked! is another one that's definitely worth checking out, the art style is so colorful and shaped /pos

quick departure from tmnt into one piece to add @fluffyartbl0g's fishbowl comic here because i have never been and will never be the same after it

Water is Thicker Than Blood by @where-does-the-heart-lie has brought so much joy to 2024, the character voices and the art style are so SO good

@swordsmans is an incredible writer and also bookbinder ! they are an absolute master of their craft(s) i live in healthy awe of them

and they aren't specific stories or AUs but @charcoaldustonmyfingers, @miniyunart, @irestotles, @dying-marshmallo, @lallelol, @cupcakeslushie, @notsotinyblob, @kiingbiing and @koolaidashley are artists whose work i've really enjoyed recently !

[emwritesstuff]

as the world caves in | ch. 11 | bucky barnes x reader

synopsis: You are a ghost story. A former Air Force pilot who had her plane shot down by Germany in 1945, but here you were in 2023, alive and frozen in your 25-year-old body.

You haven’t seen Bucky since the 1940’s, before his fall, before you went on a suicide mission only to come back alive. You aren’t sure reliving those memories – and being a living memory of everything the man has lost – is the best for him.

But you and Bucky won’t be apart for long.

masterlist | AO3

notes: :') We've come to the final chapter. Short and sweet. I still want to write an epilogue (yes I've seen the Thunderbolts* trailer) but this is the official ending of the fic! Thank you for riding this ride with me. (warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of death, depressive states, wwii) (word count: 1.9K)

eleven: sunrise

The most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

His best friend, in a sundress, his jacket around her shoulders.

Bucky had dutifully ignored all of Sam’s quips and eyebrow wiggling as much as he could, but he couldn’t ignore this. As a familiar, melodic tune filled the summer air, his feet carried him half against his will to where she was sitting, his hand offering something he wasn’t sure he could deliver.

He hadn’t taken a girl to dance in seventy-some years.

But alas, a song was playing and he could feel the warmth of her body as they began swaying along the dancefloor, danger and elation wrestling for the main spot in his chest but finding no room. She’d taken all of it.

While they were like this, muscle memory kicking in as Bucky led them as a pair across the dance floor, it was like 1945 and beyond had never happened. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier, or the ghost of it. She wasn’t a WASP WWII hero with too much baggage and responsibilities. Just a boy and a girl, how it should’ve been if things were simple and fate wasn’t cruel.

He could’ve found the courage to ask her to dance, again and again, and ruin their friendship with a romance. They’d have a little house by the coast to go for the summer, and she’d laugh at how much sand he’d gotten in his shoes. Jimmy Barnes would’ve given her his last name, and by 2023 they’d both be not much but memories in their grandchildren’s heads.

“Buck.”

Her voice brought him back to a reality where two people who should be memories from the past were still alive and kicking. And what a blessing it was, to have her be more than just a memory or a photograph.

What a curse, to want to kiss her so badly and spoil the one good thing he’d gotten out of all of this bullshit.

He took Sam’s interruption and ran with it, literally, leaving her standing alone on the dancefloor as shame and self-consciousness creeped in. Because he could handle losing everything else, but not this. Not her.

Seventy-something years and Bucky was still a damned coward.

He reflected again on this many hours later, staring at the rising sun as if it was mocking him. A new day so he could do exactly what he’d been doing: eat around the edges, careful not to take too much but never really savoring anything.

He’d almost done it back at her house, her having the grace of smoothing over the awkwardness like the good diplomat she was. It was like he never learned; here we was again, being pulled in her direction like a magnet, his body aching and his insides burning for her in a way he didn’t remember ever feeling.

What used to be a sweet teenaged infatuation evolved into a ground-splintering love, not for the girl she used to be, but for the woman she was now.

It’s what drove Bucky up the stairs, leaving the laughing sunrise behind him, as if a new day wasn’t to come and the chance of his world being shattered wasn’t imminent.

He should be content with the bickering and the gentle, lingering touches; he should be fine with meeting once in a while to catch up on each other’s lives, admiring her from afar as if she was a star he could only wish upon. He wasn’t.

Bucky wasn’t content with much, lately.

Any doubt was vanished when he stepped into the corridor of rooms 302-316 and found her still standing there, wide eyes mirroring his, wet with longing and desperation.

In the spam of seconds, he took her face in his hands and did something he should’ve done seventy-something years ago: he kissed her.

Your fingers found his wrists, seeking leverage from them as a lifetime of fantasizing turned into reality and threatened to make you float away. Your name fell from his lips in a shaky whisper and he almost dared to pull away, but you didn’t let him. You should’ve kissed him that day in English soil, before you both died to the world and the time you belonged to. You kissed him in the present for your younger self, as if you were running out of time.

You weren’t. You knew you weren’t. But rational thinking could not reach you, not there in between his arms. You kissed him for your present self, who loved him so quietly for so long you forgot how loud your heart could be. He took it in stride, tangling his fingers in your hair and making you sigh.

He whispered your name again, pleading, but you shook your head, unsure what you’re denying him of; you tasted the salty tears before you could feel them on his face, or yours, it’s all the same at this point.

“Sugar, please look at me.” He said, still holding your face and planting kisses over your closed eyes. “Please,”

You looked up at him and his silver-rimmed eyes, your own spilling over despite his effort in wiping the emotion off your cheeks. “Bucky—”

You needed to tell him that you could not bear to have him explain himself; that you understood, that you would never hold this moment against him, but he didn’t let you. He ran his thumb over your trembling bottom lip, and you quietened.

“I should’ve done this such a long time ago. I’ve been so afraid to lose you I couldn’t bring myself to tell you how much I love you. I love you like crazy, because that’s what I am,” You’d be ready to disagree but sobs filled your throat, your hands fisted on his shirt the only thing tethering you to earth. “So much has changed but not this— never this. If anything this only grew. I’ve loved you for a lifetime, so please, please, be mine.”

Your hand reached up, tracing the line of his brow, his nose, his lips. He leaned into it, free from any previous inhibition. You’d been so blind in your fear. In your denial. Bucky Barnes now laid open on your palm, crying like the boy he once was and asking you to do the very thing you’ve been doing all of these years.

“There hasn’t been a single minute in this in this life where I haven’t been completely yours, James Barnes. I’ve loved you for a lifetime,” His shoulders sagged in relief, and he smiled brighter than the rising sun. Brighter than two suns, even.

Early morning bled into afternoon. The heat of the New Orleans air made your bare skin feverish and sticky, but neither you nor Bucky could bring yourselves to untangle your tangled limbs or move. His metal arm was the only solace against the heatwave, running up and down your back and making you shiver.

“This feels like a dream,”

 “I don’t think we’d be so sweaty if it was, Sugar.” He tightened his arm around you. “This is real. ’Sides, it’s so much better than any dream my fucked-up head could have concocted.”

You hummed a protest, raising your torso to look at him. “Don’t say that.”

“Mean it,” He cupped your face with his human hand, and you sighed. “I’ve got permanent damage. There is going to be bad days. This is why it took me so long. I just don’t wanna be more trouble than I’m worth,”

“Bucky…”

He insisted.  “I know you’re stubborn enough to stick around, I just—”

“I spent two weeks in bed when you resurfaced as the soldier.” You blurted out, sitting up fully. There was concern in Bucky’s eyes, and he kept you in place as you searched for a piece of clothing to cover up. Your eyes burned with the promise of more crying. “I’ve worked for S.H.I.E.L.D for decades and you were right under my nose,”

Your voice broke, then you finally found the shirt Bucky discarded early on the floor. “I took orders from the people making you a slave. I couldn’t find you because they kept you from me. Peggy, Howard, everyone. If I’d known—”

“None of that was your fault.” He said, urgent hands reaching for you to get back in bed with him. “You were just as much a weapon as I was. I never held that against you and I never will,”

“I felt like a fraud. Steve had to come and help me bathe, eat, brush my hair.” You mumbled, wiping the stray tears with the back of your hand. “I felt like I didn’t deserve the privilege of having you in my life again. And I was terrified that you wouldn’t want to be. I’m so sorry, Bucky.” He shook his head, sitting up with you. Leaned close so he could rest his forehead against yours. “And I was a coward for not saying I loved you before you went on that fuckin’ mission in ’42. Acting like a prick because I was too scared to lose you.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad I didn’t listen.”

If you had, you wouldn’t be here. You’d never take the serum, and both Bucky and Steve, your boys, would be too further in time for you to catch. You’d be nothing but a face in each other’s memories.

“You never listen…”

You both chuckled, a pathetic, half-drowned thing on your end. “Exactly. So quit saying I’m too good for you. We’re exactly the same,”

Bucky shook his head again but gave in, kissing you sweetly then placing a kiss on your shoulder. You doubted he’d truly let that go, and you were ready to argue with him about it for the rest of time. He wrapped his arms around you and you did the same, staying like that for a while. Doing nothing but breathing in one another and allowing the past and the guilt to dissolve away.

“That’s why I’ll still complain about your terrible coffee.” Bucky scoffed at that, tightening his hold on you as if it was a punishment and not the best thing ever. “And make fun of you for being terrible with technology. Help you through the bad days and enjoy every minute of the good,”

“My coffee’s not that bad,” He grumbled, not addressing anything else and knowing you’d read between the lines. You both laughed.

“Just because this is going to be a long, winding road, doesn’t mean I don’t want to walk it with you, James.”

“’Till there’s two suns in the horizon?”

You hummed.  “I don’t think this world is caving in anytime soon. You know it, people’ve tried.”

He grimaced. “Yeah.”

“Then let’s live, Bucky Barnes. You and me. Just… live.”

Bucky’s eyes were warm under the dim lights of your motel room. This moment wasn’t the world wasn’t at its end. It probably never would.

This… this was just the beginning.

He smiled. The crooked, perfect show of teeth Bucky brought from the past just for you. “We ain’t getting any younger, Sugar.”

[prepareforspamcalls]

Keep Your Eyes Open

(Lilli almost dies. Tw: suicide mentioned and child abuse.)

Peeps: @myluckymoon @city-of-c0rpses @star-tb

Dear Poor Xena,

I believe I might be joining you soon. You see, today is the 1st anniversary of your "disappearance". Can't you believe it? A whole year has flown by with you gone. Everyone still thinks that you're missing or that you ran away, but I know the truth. Only I know that your body is hanging somewhere on an old tree up north, far away from here.

It's been a whole year without you. A whole year where you finally got away from him. Do you feel free? Are you satisfied with your decisions? I hope so, because this whole year without you has been difficult. To me, at least.

While the others are in denial, waiting for you to return, I silently grieve to myself. Ever since you left, nothing has been the same for me. I can't stand to look at my so-called "parents" anymore without feeling sick inside. I'm disgusted by the mere glance of father's face.

This is all his fault. I know it is. You wouldn't be gone if it wasn't for him! You could have stayed with me if only father didn't drive you into complete madness!

This isn't fair at all! You didn't deserve this! You were just a kid.

It's his fault. It's his fault. Always has been, yet why does he keep getting away with it all the time? Why do we have to suffer while he gets to walk all over us?! It isn't fair!

I'm so tired of things being unfair, Xena. I'm tired of forcing myself to meet their expectations. I'm tired of the yelling and the beatings. I'm so done with it. But that's all getting to change soon, I promise.

I may not be 18 yet, dear Xena, but I'll be joining you soon. I'm going out with a bang! I'm not going to leave this world with father still in it to hurt the younger siblings. No, no, no, I'm taking him down with me. I don't care if I die, I don't care if I have to take the whole family down with me, just as long he is dead!

Then I'll be satisfied.

It was going all so well! All so perfect for me! Dinner was over, father was alone upstairs busy with his own work. No one could help him. Mom was outside, the guards were downstairs, he was unguarded. I HAD THE CLEAR SHOT!!! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME SIS?! I WAS THIS CLOSE TO KILLING HIM! I COULD HAVE ENDED ALL OF OUR SUFFERING WITH MY PLAN!!! I COULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED!!!

So why didn't it work?....

One thing lead to another and I fucked everything up. I missed. I missed my shot, and now I'm suffering the consequences of my mistake. Before I knew it he was yelling at me, strangling me.

I felt invincible and careless earlier, but I'm scared. I feel scared, fear kicking back in. No, no, no this wasn't meant to happen! I was supposed to kill him! How could have I messed this up?!

Panic, all I could feel was panic. My legs kicking at him, screaming at him to let go as his hands tighten around my neck. His yelling hurting my ears where I had to use my ability to block him out. Please, I'm sorry, let go!

Despite my efforts, I couldn't break free. It was hopeless. I might actually join you tonight, Xena. Just unsatisfied knowing I didn't get to kill father. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

There was something jammed to my side, an antagonizing pain firing straight through. I could yell out in pain, but I was such in a state of shock that everyone went dark. There were faint sounds of yelling for my name, I couldn't make out who....

Now, here I lay in this cold bed, sleeping through the pain. Sleeping through the disappointment. I don't want to wake up. Being spared.... I don't know. I don't know how to describe anything right now. I'm ready to join you Xena-

Or so I thought, until some warm entity curled up next to me. I could barley open my eyes. I believed it was one of our younger siblings, but I couldn't make out who. But they were so warm. They're here for me?...

No. I can't die now. It would be wrong of me to do that to them. I'm sorry Xena, but you're going have to wait a little longer for my arrival.

I have someone to live for.

Love, Lilli, your dear sister.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

105 for 🐓:

---

Funny enough, it goes just like it used to. 

“You’re selfish and impulsive and have zero concern about anyone else.”

“You think it’s funny, just disappearing like that? Not answering your phone?”

“You’re not a child anymore, Evan, but you still act like one.”

As a kid, he had cried. As a young teenager, he’d taken pride in their anger. Scorn. Like good, feel something. As an older teen and young adult, he’d fought back. But now, he just stands there in front of him, letting the whole thing wash over him. Like he deserves it. Maybe he does. Deserve it. He didn’t as a kid, but maybe he does now. 

“Sorry,” he eventually mumbles flatly. “I just thought all my moping and sulking wasn’t doing enough to ruin Christmas. Had to figure out a different way to steal Maddie’s attention, you know?”

Instead of seeming embarrassed that he obviously overheard them shit-talking him, they seem enraged that he would bring it up. The lecturing continues. 

“Incredibly shallow and self-centered…”

“...Don’t know how we can ever be expected to have any sort of relationship with someone this vindictive!”

“We have tried!” 

And he understands their meaning. They’re done with trying. The farce is over. They can all stop pretending this has ever intentionally included him. It’s always been about Maddie and access to their grandkids. Maybe that will be a relief, at the end of the day. No more pity invites. No more trying to curl himself into a tighter, more acceptable shape. He can simply be unbothered, alone. 

“Okay,” he says quietly. “I’ll go in the morning, then.”

“We’re not kicking you out,” Margaret sighs. “Don’t make it sound like that’s what we’re doing.”

“Okay,” Buck agrees. “But isn’t that what you want?”

They deny it. But it takes a little too long for them to respond. They have to actually consider. And the thing is, Buck doesn’t. He doesn’t have to wonder at all what the hesitation is. 

“I’ll be out of your hair in the morning,” Buck says, then he turns around and stomps upstairs. 

⬅️

He showers quickly and quietly. He stares at the white bathroom tiles until his eyes hurt. He feels like garbage. Not just body wise. He just feels like garbage. Period. 

He can’t fall asleep right away, so he deals with his flight. The layover will suck, and he won’t get home until the middle of the day on Christmas, but whatever. He changes it. He’d rather be alone than here. And, maybe… Maybe Bobby’s offer still stands. 

Eventually, he puts the phone away, but he still can’t sleep. He finds himself crying. Even though he feels sort of dehydrated and like crying is probably unadvisable. 

He thought he was being quiet, but apparently not so much. Because around three, there’s a soft knock on his door. At first, his instinct is to fake sleep. To avoid his parents at all costs. But he’s not a kid anymore. They’re not going to check on him or tell him to sleep. So that leaves only one realistic option.

The door cracks open.

“Buck?” Maddie says quietly. 

Buck sits up in bed but doesn’t even bother turning on the light. He can picture her easily. Standing there in pink, snowflake print pajamas, the beginnings of a baby bump concealed by the loose fabric, worried expression on her face. 

“I’m fine,” Buck rasps, lying. 

“Well, we can hear you crying, so…”

Buck groans. “Sorry.”

“Not the person whose crying I expected to wake me,” Maddie admits. She walks over and sits on the edge of Buck’s bed. “But it’s okay. Hard to get back to sleep after Mom and Dad’s yelling, anyway.”

Buck doesn’t say anything. She heard it all then.

“I’m sorry,” Maddie says. “I wanted to keep an eye on you over the holidays, but this… This just made everything worse.”

“I’m an adult, Maddie. I could have said no.”

He did, after all, have a warning and another option.

“I should have…” Maddie struggles. “I don’t know. Prevented this.”

“I overheard what they said to you and Chim,” Buck says. “I can’t win, Maddie. I didn’t do anything. So it doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re not really leaving are you?” She asks.

“Already changed my flight,” Buck explains. 

“I’m sorry,” Maddie says again. 

Buck sighs. “Maddie, I knew what I was doing when I came here.”

“What does that mean?” She asks.

“It means… It means I knew they only invited me, through you, because they wanted you to come. It means I know they don’t like me, and don’t really love me,” Buck says. “Or, maybe they do… But, they really don’t like who I am. They try, but they don’t. And it’s… I guess it’s the confirmation I was looking for.”

“Of what?” Maddie asks. 

“That I’m not really what anyone wants around. Not for long.”

[cvnntagious]

new years appreciation !!

as the year comes to an end, there are a few specific people on here that i'd like to thank ! in my little time on here, i've made some amazing friends, and i want to really show them some love <3. i highly encourage others to hop on the new years appreciation train, no pressure whatsoever, using the '☆ sturntumblr '24 closing .ᐟ ‧₊' tag—highlighting a few of the friends you've made this year and/or kept from previous years :)

@mattscoquette — we don't talk often, but when we do, i throughly enjoy our conversations. you were one of the first people outwardly express your liking for my writing, and i'm convinced it has lead to a lot of the successes i've had on here thus far. not only did it mean a lot to me at the time, but i also still hold what you probably thought was such a simple compliment so dear to my heart. you're one of the sweetest and most genuine people i've met... all in all, i just love you

—☆

@eph3merall — you're so fucking creative, always coming up with ideas for aus i couldn't have even thought up in a dream.. i actually strive to have your imagination dude. also, i'm in love with you?? like, you're so actually so funny and easy to talk to. i usually feel soo awkward talking to people on here but i literally never felt that way talking to you... and omg thank you soso much for constantly uplifting me, i take every kind word you've said to me to heart. you're so cute it makes me wanna sob

—☆

@sturnioz — after our first real convo, i felt like i'd known you for much longer than couple minutes. you’re honestly one of my closest tumblr friends, despite not knowing each other for long, and i’m sooo lucky to have met you. you were the first and only person i followed for a while when i was new to tumblr, so when you followed me back a few months later, i genuinely jumped for joy. you're so insanely talented, in every sense of the word, and i genuinely hope you consider pursuing some sort of writing career cs your shit is so.. like, i'm dripping every time (still kicking my feet at you genuinely enjoying my content cs that was so not expected). you're actually hilarious lmfao, even if you don't mean to be. also, why are we literally the same person? we have the same thoughts, sometimes at the same time, and the same/similar takes one literally almost everything we’ve talked about so far. i was genuinely sitting there in disbelief when i was talking to you... anyways, cory forever !

—☆

@submattenthusiast — you're probably the best thing that's happened to me on here, if i'm being honest. i'm soo lucky to have you in my life. you're so sexy and silly, like, ughh i just wanna eat you all the time. i enjoy literally every conversation we have with each other and look forward to talking to you every day. i'm honored to be able to call you my girlfriend, even though you piss me off most of the time... i know you're insecure about your writing but omf, whenever you say you don't like something you've written, it makes me wanna grab your shoulders and shake you until you're dizzy. you're so fucking talented. i love everything you write, and will read anything you put out (maybe not a piss kink fic but um.. ykwim). you're literally always there for me when i need you, and i hope you know i'll always be here for you as well. if i could, i'd talk to you every second of every day, but i can't, and that really eats at me ☹️ still, i wish to spend so much more time with you for as long as i possibly can

this will be my last real post of 2024 before i begin my au special in a few days ! i love all of you guys so very much, especially my mutuals, even if i don’t talk to you often/we’ve never talked at all. see y’all next year :)

no pressure tags : @sturnsrecord @ariestrxsh @55sturn @chrissturnsfav @hoes4matthew @sweetshuga @cupiidk1lls @secretlocket @ifwdominicfike (much love to all these wonderful tagged moots) + anyone who wants to participate

-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!

[late-to-the-party-81]

If everything changes, will it stay the same?

AN: Here’s a little thing for @stuckygeekevents bingo, Square L3 - Howling Commandos. It’s a bit angsty, but I hope you enjoy it.

Beta'd by @zenaidamacrouras1

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and mood board by me.

Join my tag list here

Master list

Summary: After Steve’s one-man assault at Azzano, Bucky takes time during the walk back to allied territory to try and make sense of, well, everything. 

Relationship: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

WC: 2k

CW: Trauma, Bucky Barnes has PTSD, Confused Bucky, Worried Bucky, The Howling Commandos are good bros, The Howling Commandos know what’s up, slightly insecure Steve, bittersweet ending (cos we know what happens next), smoking.

All he had to do was put one foot in front of the other. Easy. Something he’d been able to do since he was 11 months old apparently, but, at this moment, it felt so goddamn hard! However, there was no way on God’s green earth that James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was going to ask for help. He’d walked into this war on his own two feet and he’d walk out of it too, torture or no torture.

Sergeant James Barnes. 32557038.

Rifle in hand, he scanned the group of men a few feet ahead of him, easily picking out the newly gigantic form that was Steve. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. What had those military pricks actually done to him? 

What had been done to him?

A hand clapped down on his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts, and Bucky turned to look up into the grinning face of Dum-Dum. There’s nothing like serving in the same regiment with someone else to speed up the friend-making process. Especially when you end up as POW’s together.

32557038.

“So that’s little Stevie, huh? You told me that you hadn’t had any head injuries prior to joining up.” Dum-Dum’s tone was light and teasing and Bucky couldn’t help but flush.

“Ah, fuck off. He was when I left. Not my fault some wacko military scientist pumped him full of super-steroids and turned him into Charles-fucking-Atlas.”

Dum-Dum snorted. “Guess it’s gonna take you some getting used to, though?”

Bucky shrugged, trying to give off an air of nonchalance. “Won’t make any difference to me. As long as what they did didn’t give him any brain damage, he’ll still be the same old Stevie underneath.”

Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own.

“Hate to break it to you, sport, but the way he came charging into that hell-hole? Well doesn’t seem like a man in full charge of his faculties to me.”

Now it was Bucky’s turn to snort. “That? That wasn’t nothin’ new. That was classic Rogers - running in where angel’s fear to tread. The only difference now is that he’s apparently strong enough to not get his ass kicked from here to Sunday.”

“Well,” Dum-Dum conceded, “it must be a weight off your mind, an’ all. Gonna go check on some of the others, Barnes. Don’t push yourself too hard. Though suppose you do, little Stevie could always carry you.” His expression split into a shit-eating grin at the jibe and he ducked away before Bucky could gather himself to punch the guy in the arm.

Bucky’s lips twisted up wryly and he shook his head. Fuckin’ Duggan. Guy was a shit-stirrer of the highest magnitude, which coming from him was saying something. He had a point though, about not pushing himself too hard. To be honest, he wasn’t actually sure how he was still walking, given everything. To top it off, his brain still felt as though it had been chopped up and poured back into his head. 

32557038.

He tried to remember what had been being done to him, but it was a hazy blur of sleep deprivation and pain. He thought there had been needles. And a creepy little man with a round face and round glasses talking about hopefully ‘this one’ would survive the procedure.

Sergeant James Barnes.

He plodded on, keeping an eye on Steve as he walked ahead, but also trying to keep that gaze above the waist. The guy was wearing tights, for Christ’s sake and now he actually had an ass on him. It hadn’t been as bad when Steve had still had a pair of fatigues on over the top, but he’d loaned those out to one of the other survivors who’d had the misfortune to fall in a puddle. The pair of them definitely needed to have a talk, as soon as they got a semblance of privacy, but how Bucky was supposed to concentrate when all of that was gonna be standing in front of him, he had no idea.

“Sarge!”

Bucky whipped his head round at the sound of the familiar voice and tried not to groan. Morita jogged up to him, a grin on his bruised and dirtied face. The guy was great, even if he was sometimes a little too much.

“What is it, Morita?”

“That guy,” he jerked his head in Steve’s direction, “is really your… umm… friend?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said with a small smile. “He’s my friend. Grew up like brothers, I suppose you could say. Why?”

“Because he’s Captain-freaking-America.” Morita’s voice had dropped into a theatrical hiss. Bucky had often thought the guy could easily get a job on stage, once they all got out of here, of course. “And,” he continued, a small wheedling tone creeping in, “I wondered if you could ask him to autograph something for me to send home. My girl would be over the moon if I could tell her I knew him.”

“I’ll see what I can do, Jim. I don’t know if he does stuff like that. It’s not like we’ve had the opportunity to really talk yet, what with escaping and all.”

Not without you!

“Oh, yeah,” he replied, slightly chagrined. “Well, if you get the chance to ask. But no rush, or anything. How’re you holding up, anyway?”

“Alright, I suppose. A little achy and a lot tired, but I’m alive, so that’s the main thing, right?”

Morita reached out and squeezed Bucky’s forearm. “That it is, Sarge.”

Sergeant James Barnes.

They walked together for some time in companionable silence, and were eventually joined by Jones, who was carrying three cigarettes he’d managed to obtain from somewhere, and passed them both one each. Bucky shouldered his rifle and lit his, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as the nicotine hit him. “Damn that’s good. Thanks, Gabe.”

“No problem, Barnes. I think we all deserved one. Probably deserve a boat load if truth be told.”

“Damn straight, “ Morita chimed in, before blowing a plume of smoke into the air.

“You spoken to your buddy yet?” Gabe enquired.

“Umm, not really. I’m still a bit in shock, to be honest. Asked him for some space, and as loads of others were, are, buzzing round him like flies round shit, it wasn’t too hard to get away for a bit.”

Morita elbowed him. “He keeps looking over his shoulder at you, Sarge. Think he’s making sure you haven’t disappeared. Looking a bit like a lost puppy when he’s doin’ it too. I think you should go and walk by him for a bit.” Bucky thought Morita should just shut up…

“Yeah, Barnes. He did become a one-man army to save you. Least you could do is say thanks.” Gabe’s bright grin split his face as decided to join in with the ganging up. Fucker.

“It wasn’t just to save me guys. It was to save all of us. That’s Stevie through and through - always championing the underdog and doing what’s right, regardless of the rules. He hates bullies.”

“If you gotta tell yourself that, then you do so, but we all know it was ‘cause you was in danger that put a rocket up his ass. So with all due respect, Sergeant Barnes, go talk to your boy because he’s quickly becoming the most pathetic white man I’ve ever seen. And considering I shared a cell with Dernier, that’s saying somethin’.

Bucky took one last drag on his cigarette. “You two should go fuck yourselves, you know that?” He flicked the butt into the bushes as his two comrades just grinned at him. Then, with an eye roll, he stalked forward, catching up to where Steve was leading the rag-tag group of men back to the allied encampment. 

Steve’s smile as he realised it was Bucky coming towards him was so warm, Bucky felt as though another sun had risen into the sky. He barely noticed the others walking with them melting back into the main group of men.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said shyly.

“Hey, yourself.” Bucky felt just as awkward as Steve looked. During the rescue itself, Bucky had thought that what he’d been seeing was a drug induced fever-dream, but in the cold light of day, with his adrenaline levels returning to normal he could really take in all of the changes that had been wrought upon Steve. 

I thought you were smaller.

However, he wasn’t looking for those changes. No, he was trying to see beyond them to find the tell-tale signs of his Stevie. 

There was that familiar crooked nose, no weird science could apparently fix that. And Steve’s cow-lick - that lock of straw blonde hair that just wouldn’t stay in place, no matter how much of Bucky’s pomade Steve had stolen. However, the most important thing was Steve’s eyes. Deep blue with flecks of green, a colour he wanted to drown. His hand itched to take hold of Steve’s and interlace their fingers, but they couldn’t. Not now. As much as some of the others may suspect and tease him, there were some things that were definitely private. And that was assuming that Steve still wanted to hold his hand.

“You doing okay? You’re not too tired are you?” There was concern in Steve’s voice and it was enough to make Bucky laugh through the awkwardness of the situation.

“That used to be my line,” he joked. “But somehow, you’re now the motherhen. All two hun’red and sommin’ pounds of you. You better not get into any fights now, ‘cause there’s no way I’m gonna be able to carry your fat ass home.”

Steve went beet red - a look that was also familiar. “You think my ass is fat?” he whispered, aghast.

Bucky smirked. “ Well it sure ain’t skinny anymore, that’s for sure.” He received a glare and a set of pursed lips in response. “But, yeah. I’m okay. All the better for seeing you, pal, even if you won’t fit under my arm any more and you could probably bench press me.”

They walked next to each other, silence falling between them and Bucky was at a loss of what else to say. What were you supposed to say when the person who’s not only the centre of your world but who’s also supposed to be safely across on the other side of it, is actually standing by your side, having rescued you with his dramatically altered body. Nothing inside any of the fantastic stories Bucky had read in his youth had prepared him for such a mind-bending situation. “How are you doing?” was the only thing he could say.

“Buck…” Steve tried to speak, but his voice almost immediately cracked and he had to suck in a few deep breaths. “I was so scared,” he continued in a hushed tone. “So scared that you wouldn’t be there, or that you’d be…” He tailed off. He didn’t need to say it. Bucky was certain if Steve had been even fifteen minutes later there wouldn’t have been anything of him to save. He couldn’t comfort Steve the way he wanted, couldn’t hold him and pull Steve’s head into his own neck and let the pair of them cry the way they wanted, but he could lean a little bit to the side and let the back of his hand brush against the back of Steve’s. 

For a heartbeat their pinky fingers hooked together before falling away from each other again. However, that gesture was enough to both reassure Bucky and get his heart racing, just a little, before a sense of foreboding settled upon him again

“Everything’s changed, Steve,” Bucky mumbled, downcast. “And think you’re the least of those changes. I didn’t know it was going to be like this. I suppose everyone thinks they know, but nothing can prepare you. Not really. It’s brutal, in a way you can’t imagine, Stevie.”

32557038.

Bucky bit back a sob, and opened his eyes wide, willing the wetness gathering there to dry out. He wasn’t going to fall apart, especially not when he had Steve by his side, something he’d resigned himself to never having again.

The clap on his shoulder from Steve was nothing like the one from Duggan earlier. He could feel the warmth of Steve’s hand through his ragged top, his lean, artist fingers gripping him with surety.

“It’ll be alright, Buck. I got you out, and I’m right here with you. Til the end of the line.”

And as they continued to walk toward safety, Bucky just had to believe that was true.

Tag list: @christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @doasyoudesireandlive, @galactusdevourerofworlds,

@crayongirl-linz, @mightstill, @nicoline1998enilocin, @king814318,

@scram1326, @km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989,

@kombatfather1796

[inhurtandincomfort]

Settling In

Part One / Masterlist

CW: Kidnapped, captivity, [past] abusive relationship, intimate whumper, unpredictable whumper, very brief, very lightly referenced noncon - I don't know if it even reads as such, but considering it's where the series will go at some point anyway I'd rather play it safe.

After being kidnapped by his abusive ex-boyfriend Lukas, Kieran finds himself reliving the fear he thought he'd left behind. Tonight is just about settling in; the real fun hasn't even begun.

He was led to an underground basement, a dark, dingy place with musty smell from a lack of ventilation. A single light bulb flickered weakly, not quite stretching across the entire room, it's warm glow unable to touch the gloomy atmosphere. A metal bed frame that looked like something from an old hospital sat in the middle, head against the wall with free space either side save for one wooden table, chipped and stained. An ancient mattress sat atop the frame, with little else. A wooden chair sat nearby facing the bed.

It was like something from a horror movie, Kieran thought, as he followed Lukas tremulously, another man trailing close behind to make sure he didn't run. Not that he'd get very far if he tried; he didn't get the chance to look around, but what he did see were lots of trees, a dense forest spanning miles and miles. And they still had their cars, to boot. He wouldn't have a chance.

"Your new home," Lukas proudly announced, spreading his arms like it was a grand reveal. "It's not much, I know. You're not gonna be given everything on a silver platter this time, Angel. You'll have to earn privileges, such as nice food, clothes, and a better room. Until then, you'll have to ask me or Saskia when you want to use the bathroom - there is a bucket for emergencies." He kicked a bucket under the bedside table.

Kieran's skin crawled, shame creeping up him like a vine piercing his flesh. This is what his life had come to? Even a dog was afforded better conditions.

Lukas stepped in front of him and Kieran flinched, shrinking back from his hovering hands.

"Relax. I'm just going to take the gag off. Though if you want to keep it on, that can be arranged…"

Kieran shook his head frantically, forcing his posture to lighten. Lukas chuckled, reaching around to untie the fabric.

"That's what I thought." He paused before taking it off fully, "Don't scream. No one's around to help you anyway, but I will find it very annoying, and you don't want that do you?"

No, he didn't want that at all. Kieran bowed his head in a gesture of submission. He didn't have to look have to see Lukas' smirk. But it was a relief to be rid of the rancid taste of the fabric. Kieran worked his jaw, stiff from hours -days?- of misuse.

"What-" He tried, but it came out more of a croak.

"Shh. I'll give you some water in a minute. Come over here, and then you can ask your questions." Lukas placed a hand on his back, steering him over to the bed, or more like a cot. His fear must have shown on his face, for Lukas laughed, gently pushing him down to sit.

"Relax. I'm not going to do anything. Tonight's just about getting you settled in." Lukas pulled out a switchblade and sliced through the ropes that bound Kieran with ease. He automatically went to rub his sore wrists, but the relief was short lived as Lukas instead procured a pair of handcuffs, attaching one end to Kieran's wrist and securing the other around the bedframe. Kieran tugged, the metal clinking together, but they wouldn't budge.

"Sorry, but you can't be trusted," Lukas said lightly, as if this was all just a game. It probably was, to him. True to his word, he handed Kieran a plastic bottle of water, removing the cap before passing it to him. Kieran drank greedily, not even stopping to question whether it was safe. It tasted alright, though, and frankly it was either drink what was offered or eventually die of dehydration anyway. May as well take a chance.

After a moment Lukas took it back, "Easy, not so fast," He chided, screwing the cap back on and placing it on the nightstand. "I'll leave it there, if you behave. Now, it's about time we had a little catch up, don't you think?" He turned to the two men standing guard by the stairs. "You two can go," He made a shooing motion, "He's not going anywhere now."

As their heavy boots thudded up creaking steps, Lukas pulled up a chair, resting his head in his hands as he watched Kieran almost eagerly, looking at him with such utter devotion that perhaps would have been cute in another situation, from someone like Abi. From someone like Lukas it was terrifying.

"I'm sure you must have much to say. Go on; you can speak freely for now."

"Why are you doing this?" Kieran tried to sound bold, but he couldn't hide the tremble in his voice. He was used to being afraid; he'd spent many nights tiptoeing around the apartment they shared, scared to even breathe too loudly for fear of getting on Lukas nerves. One step out of place had the potential to send Lukas into a rage, every minor error a cardinal sin in his eyes. Maybe Kieran didn't clean well enough, or maybe he wasn't enthusiastic enough in his responses. He was always either too loud, or too quiet. He was too pushy, or he didn't care at all. Everything he did was wrong. Every word a potential spark on the fuse.

Lukas carefully moulded Kieran into what he wanted him to be. A toy, a trophy, there to look pretty and show off in public only to cast him aside at home. He smiled. He laughed. He tended to Lukas' needs while he himself drowned. He was never a lover, not to Lukas; he was just a plaything.

Kieran had tried so, so hard to break free. But here, now, it all came flooding back so easily. He was never free. Not really.

Lukas brow furrowed. "Because I missed you, silly. How else was I supposed to bring you home? Didn't you miss me?"

"I…" Kieran swallowed. "It's been so long… Didn't you move on? I found friends, a job, built a life. Didn't you build a life without me?"

A shadow flashed across Lukas' face. "How could I? You were everything to me. With you gone, I fell apart. I wasn't a nice person without you around, Angel. I lost my job. Lost my friends. I lost myself." Kieran jumped back as Lukas lurched forward, his fingers digging painfully into Kieran's arms. "You left me." Lukas sounded… genuinely upset. His voice rose, wracked with tremors like a volcano preparing to erupt. "You left me, abandoned me! Threw me out like I was trash, like I was nothing after all I did for you!" His last words came out in a growl, and he shot to his feet, kicking the chair aside. He paced the room erratically, running a hand through his hair. "Do you have any idea how it feels? To came home to an empty house, all your belongings gone, a note on the table. No way to contact you. Was I not even worth telling in person!? Hell, not even text! No, you just went ahead and blocked my number. Well just fuck me, right!? Two years meant so little to you?" He stopped in the middle of the room, closing his eyes with his head tilted back.

He took a deep breath. His next words were calmer, more controlled but no less dangerous. "It's okay, though. I forgive you. You hurt me, you hurt me deeply, you ruined everything - but I forgive you. We'll fix this. We'll make it right again, the two of us."

Kieran's heartbeat thrummed in his ears as he stared at Lukas with wide, terrified eyes. His hands were cold and clammy, slick with sweat. His whole body quivered violently, fear gripped his throat tightly like a leash around his neck. This was just like last time. This was worse than last time, at least last time they pretended he had freedom. Now he was literally chained to bed in a fucking serial-killer basement. Icy dread gnawed at his insides, clawing it's way to the surface after so long in the darkness. Whispering in his ear a fatal truth he didn't want to believe.

He wasn't going to make it of this alive.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed please consider reblogging, it really helps the reach! And don't be afraid to leave a comment with your thoughts, we authors love hearing them :D

@thataquaticwhumper this was so long ago but you wanted to be pinged for part 2, sorry it's so late!