#( WHY DID I THINK GERALT WAS A GOOD FC )

[dullweapons]

♫ i know we have a playlist already but what new music have you listened to lately 👀

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 . ❪ open ❫

tonight ( demo ) - amira elfeky

hypnosis - sleep token

i want to live - borislav slavov

halfwolf - aviators

strangers - city and colour

[shade-without-color]

Camp Nano 2019 Preparations part 2: Facing insecurity and just getting over the self

Well hello again! So I am going to talk about the block, and me tackling some notes. Mind if I am a little rambling and silent as I wanted to get some things off my chest.

Recently work has been tough for me as I have this looming doom, as I can describe Mozart’s Don Giovanni seeing the statute of The Commandrate, which *spoilers* this is the dude he murdered years ago for a woman (Yes I watched that yesterday, which I am conquering my fear of Mozart operas due to a past incident ) telling you that you really screwed up on your work tasks. I would disclose all details, but yes this feels extremely shitty AF.

How does it relate to writing, to some extent, there are certain voices that tell you that you are not enough and frankly no one gives a shit about that. I think we all think that fantasy is all about the big quest but in fact, they did not focus on the smaller aspect of things like human relationships and incidentally there is a lot. 

Let me give an example of the Drago and Cecily arc (I called it The Loves arc), I realize now that I am much older (and wiser) there are things which I am not comfortable, which there is a lack of consent and of course the agency is not as prominent as I wanted, and maybe because it is very personal as I poured myself into these characters. So I was like what the hell am I doing? I am going to screw things up and whatsoever, yes I have my Commandrate’s ghost staring at me at the face, instead of me denying that that like poor Don Giovanni. I just thought back of Jane Austen which incidentally I pitched my plot to be like Jane Austen set in a fantasy universe (There is like a lot of things I described for crying out loud), and I was myself a sceptic of her works until I watched the 2005 Pride and Prejudice which I never understood why everyone gives a shit about Mr Darcy (Frankly I took Colonel Brandon as my favourite Austen male but the same thing) and I recalled online that Mr Darcy allowed Elizabeth personal space which is pretty novel to 18th century England- and he changed his persona to be more comfortable with Elizabeth

There I thought of Persuasion, which is pretty similar to my arc that there are two persons separated by circumstances, trying to understand themselves and each other, and each took its time to reconcile itself. Of course, I took that plunge to plan like a four-page outline of them falling in love and finding themselves again. (Does it reminded me of Geralt and Yennefer from the witcher cycle? no surprise I borrow that inspiration from them)

So I lead myself to struggle with the next arc which is Auberon’s downfall, how do you emphasise a person of great glory to its downfall 

KING: Stock. Good husbandry. Do you know what they call me? PRINCE OF WALES: What do they call you, father? KING: Farmer George. And do you know what that is? PRINCE OF WALES: Impertinence. KING: No, sir. Love.

So I thank Mark Gatiss (Incidentally my FC for Drago) for introducing me to this devilish play-the Madness of King George by Alan Bennett which I have a good laugh, and I love that humanity he brought to King George. Plus the dialogue is brilliant. I just really hope that my country brought the NT live adaption to my country as I loved it so much, though Nigel Hawthrone is so good in that role which must be a difficult candle to uphold. What I can borrow it to put it to my novel, is, of course, the sharp observance of interactions whenever it was the stark bitching between George III and his son or maybe the strictness of the doctor. Well, I observed much things in years working in retail, so I am hoping they can be emphatic at things.

And oh I challenged myself to read the Canterbury Tales, which is the most important piece in English Literature (I read myself Sir Gawain and the Green Knight), I would recommend the version with Peter Ackroyd, as it is much easier than doing the academic take of it. Of course, I loved the prologue and it is translated so well in Ackroyd’s version which I may try that for my original novella and maybe I could add some, like the humorous tales or the fantastical. And the way how they narratively flow is so good that I want to read again. 

Good news I found myself two beta readers who wanted to read that book. Maybe that idea is something that hopefully will tell people not to treat retail people pretty terribly. Maybe my idea can be translated in real life which can be messy at times like Auberon facing disappointment in real life or Drago in heartbreak. Maybe writing from personal experience is best, as I can show that it is not all doom and gloom.

Maybe I should channel like Florence Welch screaming out Shake it Out XD.  

“Just be yourself”. It is harder to be done than said but I am sure I will end this journey well.

[xenoblade]

2016 in gaming

So I saw Mom Steph do this and hek, I thought it'd be a nice way to start off the new year! 

(of course bless Backloggery for keeping track of all my beaten games because otherwise GOOD FUCKING BYE)

Tales of Zestiria

lol funny how this one is the first game I finished last year? Anyway I can't deny I *DID* like Zestiria but I also have a lot of mixed feelings about it :/ Characters were okay and the OST was great (THOSE GO SHIINA TRACKS, BOI), but I had a lot of framerate issues so my overall experience was... meh. Here's hoping Berseria turns out better?

Ys: Memories of Celceta

AW YIS MEMORIES OF CELCETA! I got a Vita just to play Ys and it was a great ride and I 100% recommend it! I don't have much to say about this also because everything Celceta does, Lacrimosa of Dana (more on this soon) does better so... GET BOTH

Xenoblade Chronicles X

Boy. BOY. I started this game over a year ago and I already have a lot of nostalgia over it?? Some of the best 300 hours I ever spent went in there. It's not Xenoblade (Chronicles), but I managed to find a lot to love here

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky Second Chapter

Rarely I enjoyed sequels more than their originals... UNTIL SECOND CHAPTER. Holy moly FC was GOOD but SC has all the plot twists and a faster-paced story that I found it impossible not to love it? FC builds up the story like a traditional coming-of-age RPG tale so that when SC comes along, it pulls out the big guns. YEAH

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD

I loved TP for a number of reasons (apparently I'm a minority? lmao) and I didn't think it could get any better seeing it all in HD

Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright

I'm glad I managed to beat at least Birthright before I ran out of fuel and drive to play all of Fates? Game was great, the OST had some pretty great stuff, I really liked some of the characters, but I just couldn't get past Corrin as a whole ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Plot was also okay (for FE standards at least), but apparently Conquest and Revelation have it even worse which is why it will be a looooong time before I beat either one

The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel

THERE IT IS, ONE OF MY GAMES OF THE YEAR! I completely, utterly and totally fell in love with this game! The cast is GREAT and I love how the plot starts easy and progressively gets all political and complicated, what with terrorists, nobles, different agendas and all that. I'm not too much of a fan of school settings, but it fits this one and I love how the game takes its time so it can tell you a grand story of an empire. PLAY THIS GAME

The Witcher

It took me a year to finish this game because of technical issues (lol I had to start it 3 times) but I'm GLAD I made it at last. Dialogue here is GREAT, Geralt is great and so were some parts of the story (the investigation). This regularly goes on sale on Steam for $4 (together with Witcher 2), so yeah, you have no reason to not play it.

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana

THERE IT IS. MY ULTIMATE GOTY OF THE YEAR. I JUST CANNOT STRESS HOW GREAT THIS GAME IS. It looks great, it plays great, characters are great! This game is a joy to look at and play so if you enjoyed Celceta, you will LOVE this one! Also I know it sounds like obvious from a Falcom game, BUT THE OST IS ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS! I can't wait for it to come to US/EU because EVERYONE needs to appreciate this game!

Odin Sphere Leifthrasir

In time for this list, this is yet another game I LOVED. I have a PS2 copy somewhere, but I could never get into it because of clunky controls and the difficulty. Thankfully I got this as a birthday present and boy. BOY. I loved EVERYTHING about this game. Aside how great it plays and how good it looks, I found myself falling in love with the characters and the plot: I loved every single character (INGWAAAAAAAAAAY) and the story was so old-school and reminded me of an epic play that. aaaaaaaa. BOY I'M IN LOVE (also yes I cried at the end)