#( I haven't gotten over I want something sappy about them but also now I wanted to work on angst on them )

[ao-xingyume1987]

" Is it true? You've been feelin' sort of low these days Just don't have a place to go these days Must be bringin' you down If it's so Then come on, give this loverboy a try I'll put the sparkle right back in your eyes What could you lose? "

( x )

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

I got to thinking about what goes on between durge and Astarion at night for him to know and understand their nightly torments. And it turned into a very fluffy little fic lol I used my durge Ellie and I have so many feelings about these two. The whole enemies to lovers trope is a popular one for a reason lol. Anyways, enjoy my sappy thoughts <3

Ellie's soft auburn waves were always pinned to perfection in a half updo every day. She wouldn't leave her tent without having her hair and face looking immaculate. Except the night she was bombarded with nightmares.

A sea of crimson and gore with her as the only living being. A lonely soul in a dead world. A final sacrifice to, something, she never knew what. She plunges a dagger into her heart and then, nothing. Silence. Dreadful, lonely silence. All that carnage for what? Was this a memory? Or a prediction?

She has had this same nightmare for days. Astarion has been watching her rest since they met unbeknownst to her. Partially due to his nocturnal tendencies but also to make sure the camp is secure. He has noticed her struggles but didn't want to pry. They have gotten much closer in the past weeks though.

But gods, if Ellie tries to seek comfort from him she won't hear the end of it. "oh is princess having bad dreams?" she can practically hear his mocking voice in her head now. And, she hardly looked the part. Her bed head a mess of waves and knots, her face bare and pale. No. She couldn't.

And yet, if there is even a small chance of her getting rest tonight it would be with the safety of knowing someone is there. She's not as close with the others and she has the feeling they wouldn't be too happy about being woken up. She has to swollow her pride and make her way to his tent. Moving with a cat-like silence and stealth she glides over to Astarions tent. Noticing a faint glow from within. He must be awake reading.

"Astarion?" She whispers, barely able to get his name out at all.

"Oh, hello Darling. It's quite late for you isn't it? What can I do for you?".

Astarion had noticed her get up and attempt to fix her hair and squeeze her cheeks to get some colour in her face before walking over. But of course he would never let her know that.

"I'm sorry Astarion I just, I can't be alone right now".

"Ah I see, you're looking for a little...Company?"

"No! Nothing like that I assure you. I just-". She hangs her head in resignation.

"I haven't been resting well these past days. My trance is haunted by visions of red and death."

"I see. Well Darling, your hair is a mess. Would you like some help?"

Ellie is a bit taken back by Astarions lack of mockery. No jokes, no quips. Just understanding? It's not like him at all.

"Really? I mean yes but, you seem unsurprised by my presence. I know it's late and I don't mean to bother you"

"Have you considered that I might actually enjoy being around you, Princess?"

There's the sarcasm. He has called her princess since they met. It was initially used to mock her. But now it seems the meaning has shifted a bit.

Astarion grabs an ornate comb and gestures for Ellie to sit in front of him. She tentatively sits cross-legged between his legs. "I don't blame you, you know. I know what it's like to be haunted by nightmares. If I was having a rough time I have the utmost confidence you would do the same for me".

He speaks softly, while gently brushing the comb through her hair. "Astarion?" Ellie croaked. "Yes, Darling?"

"Thank you, really".

Astarion lets out a low chuckle. How much they've changed in these past weeks. Not even a tenday ago they were at each others throats about helping the tieflings. And now he's brushing her hair in his tent.

Ellie doesn't speak for a while. Astarion can't see but he can tell her eyes are closed. He gently untangles her waves with expertise and puts them into a soft loose braid. It's only a matter of time before he notices Ellie falling backward onto his chest. Poor thing has finally fallen asleep. He can feel the heat of her skin and the pace of her breathing slow.

He's unsure what to do. Does he wake her? It would seem almost cruel. Instead he slowly pushes her forward to get leverage, picks her up and places her on his bedroll. Covering her up with a few blankets.

He grabs some pillows to prop himself up to lie next to her. He gets his book and blows out a couple candles so the tent is slightly more dim. He's used to the dark he has no problem reading in low light.

In the silence he can hear Ellie's soft breathing. Her chest slowly rises and falls in deep rest. He's almost jealous. But the jealousy is overwhelmed by his longing to be close to her. As soon as he thinks it, Ellie sluggishly rolls over to rest her head and hand on his chest. Astarion is frozen. Was it the tadpole? Did they connect and he accidentally revealed his desires? No. She's deep in trance. Astarion shakily closes his fist then rests his hand against her shoulder. Holding her close without waking her. He's not sure what this is, or what they are. But he knows one thing. This? This is nice.

[schmafs]

where the heart is turned one year old today!!

keeping my sappiness under the read more (and if you haven't checked the comic out yet, you can see it over on @wthicomic or on comic fury)

posting this comic has simultaneously been one of the scariest and most rewarding things i've ever done and i seriously can't express how grateful i am to everyone who's supported me so far. where the heart is is a story that i've been cooking up for six years now (some of you have even known me from before i started working on it, which is so wild to me) and overall it means a lot to me. the characters are incredibly near and dear to my heart and it makes me so happy that i've gotten the chance to share them with people :,) .

when i first started posting it i honestly worried (and still worry to a degree) about whether it was a story that would mean much to strangers i'd never talked to, but over the past year across comic fury, the tumblr mirror, and (most likely, anyway–there's no way for me to track who uses this) the rss feed, there are at least 80 people who read wthi. that's absolutely insane to me–that's like. multiple classrooms full of people. i was amazed when i reached 25, so 80 has completely and utterly floored me. if you've read wthi at any capacity, thank you so much. it means a lot to me that, at least for the time being, it's something people have enjoyed reading as much as i've enjoyed creating it.

i also want to express gratitude for the people who have physically interacted with the comic by commenting on it or telling others to read it. with regard to the former, i think it's easy for artists and writers of any kind to struggle with feeling like they know what they're doing, so comments mean so much to me. with regard to the latter, i don't do much advertising for it in general! so it's very safe to say that if it weren't for you guys i wouldn't have gotten this far this quickly :,) .

anyway! yeah! thank you guys!!! that's all!!!! hope you have a great rest of the day wherever you are!!

[darkestrellar]

Bringing back an old ask meme: 'talk about us' with Blanc ✨

Svern tells your muse...

What they define their relationship with your muse as:

"Oh! That's easy!" Svern claps his hands together, a bright smile on his face. "You're my friend! You know, we've known each other for a pretty long time now, Blanc. Time sure flies, doesn't it? Somehow you haven't gotten sick of me yet. What a longsuffering person you are! It's honestly quite admirable, even if I do have to pity you for it."

Something they like about your muse:

He makes a show of thinking, tilting his head to the side and looking upward, tapping his index finger on his chin. "Well, there's a bunch of things, naturally! You're a decent cook, your clothes fit me pretty well. That's convenient! Your cupboards are always stocked. Also convenient! You haven't kicked me out of your house yet, how kind! Your couch is comfortable, and so is your bed."

"Not to mention you're awfully cute, 'specially when you're flustered."

Something they dislike about your muse:

Svern reacts by dramatically doubling over, as if the mere thought was a punch to his gut, his hands clutched in his hair. "Nooo! That's a terrible question! How could there possibly be something I dislike about my good friend Blanc? How am I even supposed to answer this?!"

He mutters in a pained voice, "Negativity is bad for you..."

Give him a few seconds, then he'll straighten up again and answer in a deadpan voice with a face devoid of any discernible emotion:

"There are a few things about you that vex me, it's true. There's no such thing as perfect in this world. Still, I'd rather not talk about it."

Their first impression of your muse:

Ah. A question that warrants a serious answer.

"...you were dangerously close to being roped into something that you would've been better off staying out of. Just some teenager sticking his nose into something that he shouldn't."

"Do you remember, in Pinwheel Forest? I told you to keep out of the business with Plasma, or you'd end up regretting it. Looking back, knowing what I do now, I guess you didn't really have a choice."

"I will say I didn't think much of you at first. Nor did I warn you out of the goodness of my heart. That was merely common sense; plus, I thought you might complicate things for me. In the end, things were going to play out how they did regardless of what either of us did."

Their impression of your muse now:

The cloud passes over, and Svern's usual demeanour returns. Talking about the present is much more pleasant than dwelling on the past.

"Look at this recluse! He lives in a haunted forest full of ghosts and shadow people! I have to go 'round to his place constantly and drag him out into the world again, because if I don't, he'll forget what real people look like!"

That's a bit mean.

"I also understand now that you're just really unlucky for some reason. It's not fair, I don't think you deserve that. I'm not helping much, though."

How they feel about your muse:

"Positive, moreso than average! That's as specific as I'm going to get, sorry! There'll be no further elaboration on feelings from me."

Something they are hiding from your muse:

Following the rules of the game, Svern should give an answer. It would be easy; he just has to provide filler, say something small and inconsquential that's technically true. He's done this type of thing a thousand times before. He knows how to say something while saying nothing.

But he doesn't feel like playing that game with this particular question. Instead, Svern holds up a finger and makes a tutting sound, then leans in close, his voice lowering.

"Come on, now. If I'm hiding something from you, then I'm not going to tell you about it, am I? Even if you ask super nicely. Where's the fun otherwise? If you want to know my secrets, go look for them yourself."

Something they wish they could tell your muse:

The last question. He supposes this is where most people would say something embarrassingly sappy, or something shockingly mean, or really anything that they would normally keep to themselves.

"Something I wish I could tell you? Usually if I want to say something, I'll just say it. If I don't say it, I never wished I could say it in the first place. I don't really do the whole 'I secretly wish I could tell you' type of thing."

Is there really nothing? Surely Svern can spare something here. He already gave an evasive answer to the previous question.

His expression suddenly goes blank. It's like someone pressed a reset button inside his brain, but anyone who knows Svern at all knows there's no such reset button at all, and if there was, he'd be the one pressing it. The way he looks at Blanc afterwards is crystal clear and serious, and there's no false brightness in his eyes or in the few words he says.

"I'm glad I'm here with you."

[ohnomybreadsticks]

Ao3 WIP Tag Game!

I was tagged by @itshype - thank you for including me in your tag list <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 160! Which is an absolutely wild number to think about, tbqh

2. What's your AO3 word count? 917,682, although some of those aren't mine due to some of my longest works being shared RPs I posted

3. What fandoms do you write for? I have works mostly posted for Detroit: Become Human and the Witcher Netflix, but I've written a few for others, like Transistor and LotR. And now I have 2 that are original works!

4. What are your Top 5 Fics by Kudos?

Starting with most kudos:

1) More Than Enough (Witcher, E)

2) Alike in Both the Heart and Mind (DBH, E)

3) What's It Going to Take for You to Feel Good? (DBH, E)

4) Too Tired to Ask, but Not to Receive (Witcher)

5) In Which Gavin Learns to Love an Elder God (DBH)

shocker lmao, almost all of these prominently feature smutty sections!

5. Do you respond to comments? Always! If a reader has made a comment, I'll make sure to reply, even if it's just to say 'thank you' :) It just might take me a while to get to it sometimes

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? There Are No Atheists in Foxholes (DBH, E)! Can't get much more angsty than MCD lmao (altho does it count if he comes back in like 300 years?)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I am a fluffy gal usually lmao, almost all of my fics have happy sappy endings!

8. Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully no, I've never gotten any hate on my fics. Very grateful for that, but I'm very much not afraid of the block button.

9. Do you write smut? LOL I've written my fair share. I've got 41 E rated fics on AO3, and 17 M rated fics, so that's a decent amount of the spice. Lately though I haven't been feeling that vibe as much, so much so that the last bit of smut I wrote was quite difficult!

10. Do you write cross-overs? Mmmmmm not sure if I've written a traditional crossover, where characters from both franchises interacted... But I popped some Witcher characters into a LotR setting, and some DBH characters into a Witcher setting at some point!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, but I've had podfic made of my fic, which was incredibly flattering <3

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yep, several times.

13. What is a WIP you would like to finish but doubt you ever will? Mmmm...I don't tend to abandon WIPs, even if it takes me a long time to return. The few chaptered fics that are 'unfinished' on AO3 are the only ones I'll never return to

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? I could never pick while I was in the trenches lmao, and now that I've been kind of out of my fandoms for a while I don't have an opinion either XD

15. What are you writing strengths? Folks always tell me my descriptions are engaging, which makes me happy because that's something I work very hard on. I hope my characters and their relationships are a strength as well

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Probably niche-ness lmao. I love to create a hyper-specific scenario that only I enjoy, so it doesn't reach any kind of audience. I also know I'm very bad at writing action sequences, which is why I never write them lmao

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm not a fan, tbh. Unless it's a language you're really familiar with, the chances of getting it wrong are too high. And the clunkiness of putting it in the fic makes it...oof.

18. First fandom you wrote for? For my own sanity I'll pass on this one lmao. My first AO3 fic was most certainly DBH

19. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Also hard to choose...Privately I'm very fond of Let Me In (i'll be good to you, i swear) - any of my prairie-based fics hold a special place in my heart

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day? Hard question - right now I'd have to say none! I'm very much a 'when it's done it's done' girlie

Tagging: @catoeirienind @sinclairsolutions but no pressure <3

[sagau-fruit-bowl]

Request 'Can I get an event love letter from Kaeya in the imposter AU when he was the first to recognize the reader?' 

Absolutely! Please enjoy! (Also I'm sorry if he's a bit ooc)

LOVE LETTERS TO YOUR GRACE

I truly hope this letter reaches you soon, My Grace.

I know you don't quite like when I'm away but unfortunately, duty calls.

Now then, past all the sappy I'm sorry I can't be there for you stuff, and the Oh how I wish I could return from this cold nights at work and simply make sure every dream that visits your mind each night only consists of what will be and not what has been, I'd like to be honest about what I wrote this letter for.

We haven't gotten the chance to speak in a while, have we? As soon as they realized just what a fake that thing was, they switched the hunt from you to them and I haven't seen you since they took you away from me.

Is being in a palace more comfortable than my bed? I don't think it would be, especially not when surrounded by fools who don't even seem to realize their very presence makes you shudder in disgust, rage, and fear.

They also deny me the right I have to see you, a sad thing to be honest. The only way this letter will get to you is if I convince Jean to bring it with her, but I can be very persuasive, you've seen that.

But I'm getting off topic again. I sat to write this letter with one goal in mind and my brain is jumping around almost like yours did when we first met, probably complete with the same amount of panic

Do you remember when I took you to Storm Bearer Point? I told you I used to sit there to watch the stairs and pray to you and only you that I would be yours, your vessel, one of your chosen servants once more. 

You smiled for the first time that night, when I grabbed your hand and used it to point out my favorite constellations, you also seemed a bit too embarrassed to look me in the eye but I promise I won't hold that over your head forever… just until I die;)

Do you remember something else I told you that night? I told you all about how unsure I was for your future and mine. Now your future is guaranteed, and you deserve it. After everything they had put you through, after the state I found you in, after all the work I had to help you, to save you! You're now guaranteed safety, but you shouldn't have safety with those whose very presence leaves you uneasy.

So I'd like to make a request. Come visit me. Come visit me because I want to know that you're Alright, come visit me because we've been apart for so long

Come visit me because I adore you, not as the creator, not as Your Grace, but as you. As [Name], as this shining and caring soul I got to meet when we worked together to push away the dirt and grime and horror of what you went through.

I adore you, [Name]. 

If that word makes you uncomfortable then I'll say it straight out, I love you.

Please visit me, we have a lot to talk about.

-With love, Kaeya, Calvary Captain of Monstadt and your waiting but not very patient admirer.

[for-kh]

on anger

okay so I swear I thought I was a more mature person but, even in your impaired state, seeing you texting, calling, messaging girls from your past fills me with inexplicable rage. Of course I'm not going to question or get angry with you now... that's the last thing you need. But I think that's what makes it so hard. I wanna talk about it with you and just laugh it off and accept things and let them go. But right now I can't!!! So my thinking-too-much mind is just festering with some truly hurtful thoughts!

And the things you've said... like how you think you like your ex better than me. And that part of you wants to break up with me. I know this isn't you being fully aware of your surroundings and that you still have some healing to do before everything feels normal to you again... but hearing you say that in your own voice with a dead serious expression pierces me. I think I am a strong person but, still, my heart is pretty soft.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the dumb flings. Everyone wants to have a bit of fun now and then. But the emotional things are what feel like little steak knives stabbing me in the chest.

The messages you showed me on your phone where you'd send PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs of your writing that I enjoy so much but directed towards another girl only like a month before we met?? telling a girl she is the first thing you think of when waking up weeks before we started dating?? I mean... isn't that some real feelings kind of stuff?? you've never told me that I'm what you think of when waking up. And the girl ended up not responding to you. So together it feels like I'm just a second choice. Frrrrrriiccckk that hurts to think about.

And the fact that she didn't even respond. Like, what you wrote was truly something touching and honest. But she didn't even appreciate that! That angers me!! How can she not see that?? Your ability to express your emotions through art, writing, films, whatever, is such an attractive, rare, precious thing. I saw this long ass message you wrote from your heart to her and the way she ignored you made me just go.......

There's this weird storm inside of me that is made from retrograde jealousy, insecurity about my body, and also a strangely high sense of dignity that comes out every now and then. This is so dumb to admit but I just want to be honest with you. I want this blog to be my honest feelings and thoughts through all of this.

Just to every girl in your past (except the nice ones where it ended well and you are still friends maybe)... they can go shove a sharpened pencil up their pee hole..

Anyways I know it's not your fault, baby. You're dealing with so much and your brain is still healing and rebalancing and becoming more and more aware so I know you're not doing these things to intentionally hurt me. After all you're commitment phobic yet you wanted to be in a relationship with me after one date. I know you care. Seeing those ocld messages and you trying to dial them up and such just unleashed a primal monster of envy in me.

I feel better already having typed this mess all out.

[PMS edit a week later:

I think PMS is making me really emotional right now and I haven't talked to you or your mom today so I'm just feeling a little sad and worried. It's making me think about this stuff again and I didn't wanna make a whole new post on it so I'm just gonna ramble a bit more here cause it felt good to let it out last time.

I was thinking about talking to you on the phone a couple days ago. You told me more about your exes. I'm not sure how much of it is true or not but really... I couldn't change the subject. Part of me still wonders if the things you said are true even if you are still waking up, like how truth comes out of a drunk person's mouth.

Telling me you want to break up with me multiple times...i keep hearing that in my head. You told me I had the same name as your ex and showed me on your phone a Gabriella?? I wonder if that's why you insist on calling me Gabe. Maybe that's not even your ex. Who knows. I keep asking you who these girls are but you can't really give me an answer.

Is this dumb?? Is it dumb for me to be crying over this? I had a bit of a selfish moment in the hospital when I was there last time. I'm sorry, I got a little upset. I don't think you noticed, though. I kept trying to talk to you, to get you to look at me, but you just kept dialing this girl you had a one night stand with or something. And then liking all of this one girl's photos on Instagram (lol) that you seemed like you knew. You kept just doing that and talking about your exes I just got overwhelmed.

I think the combination of seeing you stuck in the hospital and doing and saying these things about your past relationships and barely noticing me there (even though this is not your fault and not intentional) just kind of broke me and I teared up a little. Your mom wasn't there, don't worry!! I won't make her worry about such silly stuff as me!

Do you still like me? It's hard to imagine. I want to be there for you through all of this, and I will be. I can't help but think it was all some sort of cosmic coincidence that you asked me to be your girlfriend just a week before this all happened. But it's not just something I feel like I have to do... it's something I want to do. I feel so attached to you. In like two weeks you made a place in my heart. It sounds sappy to you I'm sure but it's true!!

I know it's likely that you still, well, like me. But it's hard to even imagine when you say your ex was better than me. I'm really trying. Even though it's hard I'm really trying to not take these things too personally. You're not a mean person. You wouldn't say things like that to me directly. But my fear comes from wondering if there is a grain of truth in any of it.

But, really, I feel strong. I know you are strong and I know so am I and so is your family. There's bound to be things in this process that make us feel like we're stumbling, or doing something wrong, or that we've gotten lost. I think that's all part of this craziness. One of my challenges is gonna be coping with the stuff I've written about in this post. I'm up for it.]