#( . like. shit dude. im under tremendous mental strain rn and yet all i want is for them to get it through their skulls that i e x i s t.

[dethberri]

so, yesterday, while at work, i noticed that i missed a call.  i thought it was weird that the same number was calling again so, i picked up.  turned out to be one of my best friends i’d met on tumblr.  i hadn't heard from them in a while, even though i kept leaving them messages.  they told me they'd attempted two days back and that they’ve been admitted into a behavioral healthcare clinic.  i was floored, and after losing an irl friend to their sadness earlier this year, i was also fucking pissed.  i wanted to lecture the absolute hell out of them, but i didn’t.  i was angry because i was afraid, because i understood.

please, if you’re ever feeling despondent and like there’s no hope, find someone.  irl or not, find someone.  msg someone.  msg me.  i might not update for days at a time, but i’m always logged in.  i see all the notifs i receive.  if you're ever hitting the deep bottom of misery at full speed, i’m more than willing to set things aside, especially if you seriously don’t know who else to turn to.  and if im working — i’m not an employee who bullshits at work.  if i say something’s come up, my bosses will understand.  you’re not troubling or bothering by reaching out, you’re just being human.  we are inherently social creatures.  our brains evolved to ensure our survival, and they operate best when we interact and connect with others.  social exchanges stimulate endorphins, shit that literally makes us happy.  so, to those who have my cell, i'm a call or text away.  my discord is available, too.  inbox is always open, as well as my IMs.

again, know that i'm here to talk or distract or do whatever the hell you want.  if you wanna cope by rping, ooc-chatting, whatever, sure, i can do that.  just.  don't do stupid, impulsive shit.  don't even think about putting yourself in possible danger because you’ve gone and assumed that no one will care or miss you if you do it.  there’s always gonna be someone out there who cares, i can fuckin’ guarantee you that.