#( character study ) / * 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭-𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐳 .

[hstoryhuh-a]

what color is your name ?

tagged by: stolen from my multi. tagging: @goldenboybarracuda, @westwingsolo, @fatedtruths ( henry ), @alexahndar, @unbound-tales, @bcffooncry ( nicolas ), @lovepurposed ( francis ), & anyone else that wants to do this

[hstoryhuh-a]

hands in his hair? yes. alex loves it.

[hstoryhuh-a]

how do you best like to be loved?

laugh with me long and loving

jokes   are   simple   and   easy   to   comprehend,   and   laughter   helps   with   all   that   tension   in   your   belly.   you   just   want   a   break   from   the   other   stuff,   and   if   someone   makes   you   laugh,   then   that   means   that   they   care,   in   some   way,   about   your   happiness.   especially,   if,   after   making   you   laugh   the   once,   they   try   and   do   it   again.   if   laughter   is   the   greatest   medicine,   then   you   can   share   it   and   no   one   has   to   be   sick.   it   is   contagious,   and   free   to   give   and   receive.   there   is   never   too   much   of   it.   there   is   never   too   much   of   you.   i   hope   when   you   laugh   you   speak   it   from   your   belly.   that   you   use   your   muscles   and   let   it   fill   the   room.   that   you   know   the   sound   rings   like   a   bell   and   is   lovely.   i   hope   that   when   you   smile   you   show   your   teeth.

craft me a cunning creation

the   power   of   'i   made   this   for   you'   is   enough   to   make   your   heart   ache   in   the   good   kind   of   way.   the   knowledge   that   someone   sat   down,   and,   with   you   in   mind,   they   Created.   they   painted,   they   knit,   they   sculpted,   they   folded.   they   Created   for   you.   it   is   something   tangible.   something   that   will   remain   when   they   have   to   leave   for   the   night.   something   that   lingers.   you   can   look   at   it,   touch   it,   and   you   can   know   that   you   were   cared   for   enough   to   inspire   creation.   you   were   the   source   of   someone   wanting   to   make.   you   were,   and   you   are,   and   you   have   proof   of   it.   you   have   proof   that   they   think   of   you,   proof   that   they   thought.   and   you're   worth   it,   love,   you're   inspirational.   i   hope   you   have   an   entire   shelf   or   bookcase   filled   with   proof   of   being   thought   of   and   remembered.   filled   with   tangible   evidence   of   consideration.

tagged by: @firstscn & @magikborn ( thank you! ) tagging: anyone that hasn't done this yet.

[hstoryhuh-a]

how strong do you like your coffee?

i want it to show up on a drug test.

[hstoryhuh-a]

thanks to @westwingsolo, it’s been confirmed that alex will walk around naked at home without shame.

[hstoryhuh-a]

this is 100% alex and liam. no one can tell me otherwise.

[hstoryhuh-a]

romantic gestures.

( bold = applies to your muse. italicized = maybe. repost, don't reblog. )

holding hands (in public) · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold · kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love · long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photobooth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favourite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to their parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them their favourite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to their apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) · joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb ("i love you") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · grant them the last bite (from meal)

holding hands (in public) · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold · kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love · long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photobooth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favourite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to their parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them their favourite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to their apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) · joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb ("i love you") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · grant them the last bite (from meal)

tagged by: @surgcns ( thank you! ) tagging: anyone that sees this and wants to do it ( tag me so i can see your answers! )

[hstoryhuh-a]

What emotion are you?

longing .

your   longing   is   like   a   ghost,   a   haunting   presence   that   follows   you   wherever   you   go.   it   is   a   feeling   that   slips   in   and   out   of   your   mind,   a   reminder   of   what   you   have   lost;   what   you   will   never   have.   don’t   you   wish   to   feel   their   touch   again?   it’s   too   late,   so   let   me   guide   you.   you   can   resist,   it’s   expected.   the   passion   of   your   heart   is   like   a   wound   that   never   heals,   a   scar   that   won't   fade.   not   even   you   can   stop   it.

anxiety.

anxiety   is   your   companion,   the   shadow   that   hangs   over   you   like   a   storm   cloud.   It's   a   voice   that   whispers   in   your   ear,   telling   you   all   the   things   that   could   go   wrong-   echoing   and   bouncing   inside   the   walls   of   your   mind.   it's   a   feeling   that   clutches   at   your   chest,   making   it   hard   to   breathe.   it's   a   cycle,   a   never-ending   loop   of   worry   and   fear.   i   wish   i   could   turn   it   off   for   you,   silence   the   doubt   in   your   mind,   but   it's   always   there,   lurking   in   the   corners   of   your   thoughts,   ready   to   strike   when   you   least   expect   it.

tagged by: @goldenboybarracuda tagging: anyone that hasn't done this already!

[hstoryhuh-a]

when do you gaze at your soulmate?

when they're dancing.

you're not sure if they know you're there or not. you're not sure if it matters. you watch them sway to the music, watch as they twirl around and smile for no one but themselves. they're free and laughing. they're alive and vibrant. they're everything you might never be except when you're with them. so full of life it makes something in your chest tighten. there are frown lines at the corners of your mouth but your lips are smiling right now. rare. and often, only for them. they have light in their hearts and some days you fear the darkness in you might swallow it whole. but they'd never let you walk away. so make sure the darkness inside you keeps all the other monsters away from their tender heart.

when they're getting ready for the day.

this is all you've ever wanted. you and them and the promise of a future. you should be getting ready too. but you lay in bed for a moment, still feeling the traces of their warmth on the sheets, their scent on your skin. you watch how carefully they choose their outfit for the day. you watch as they pair the colors. you memorize that face they make when they stand at the mirror checking every detail. you savor how routine it is. you savor it because you both earned it. there is something precious in the domesticity and you vow to never take it for granted.

tagged by: stole it from the dash. tagging: @goldenboybarracuda, @princedickhead, @royalbred, @mecwmellc, @westwingsolo, @shadowbrn

[hstoryhuh-a]

what kind of herb are you?

cumin.

you   see   yourself   so   clearly   that   you   can   see   the   gaping   hole   inside   you   where   you   lost   a   piece   long   ago.   it's   there   and   it's   ragged   and   painful   and   bleeding   and   you   don't   know   how   no   one   else   can   see   it   when   it   takes   up   so   much   of   your   awareness.   you   run   from   it,   fight   it,   try   to   find   it   but   nothing   bandages   up   that   hungry   mawing   void   inside   yourself   and   when   you're   tired,   uninspired,   you   swear   it   grows   and   grows.   you   promise   yourself   you   want   to   be   alone,   promise   yourself   that   you   want   to   be   different,   want   to   be   special,   love   having   this   hole   inside   you   and   point   it   out   in   words   or   song   or   jokes   and   stories   and   take   pride   in   that   pain,   in   your   uniqueness   in   this   world   of   grays   and   storm   clouds.   you   are   5   am   rain   on   asphalt   roads   and   sputtering   street   lamps.   you   are   petrichor   musings   and   messy   guitar   chords   and   a   thousand   contradictions   wrapped   inside   a   quiet   cry,   an   evening   of   coffee   and   jittering   hands   and   a   promise   that   you're   okay   or   that   you're   fine   until   you're   falling   apart   in   someone's   arms   or   messages   and   pretend   you're   alright   in   the   morning.   you   taste   so   strongly   but   sometimes   you   wonder   if   all   you   are   is   ash.

ㅤㅤ

garlic.

you   leave   an   impression   wherever   you   go.   your   heart   is   so   strong,   so   determined,   so   willing   to   go   after   whatever   hole   you   see   in   the   world,   whatever   wound   you   need   to   fix   next.   you're   there.   you're   justice,   hot   red   and   pure   gold,   fairness   incarnate,   a   paladin   in   shining   armor   come   to   protect   and   cleanse   and   heal   and   yet   sometimes   you   wonder   if   you're   the   most   corrupt,   dirty   being   in   the   world,   a   fraud,   a   monster   in   hero's   clothing.   the   world   is   so   intense   and   you   are   so   small,   so   fragile,   and   no   matter   how   hard   you   try   you're   never   good   enough.   you   want   to   be   good.   you   want   to   be   good   enough.   you   try   so   hard   and   yet   the   world   is   so   dark   and   angry   and   cruel.   perfection   is   always   just   out   of   reach   and   you   want   things   to   be   okay   so   bad   you   bleed   with   it.   you   just   want   things   to   be   right,   to   be   good,   to   be   fair,   but   you   don't   know   if   they   ever   can   be.   if   you   can   ever   be.

[hstoryhuh-a]

[hstoryhuh-a]

how are you color coded?

red

a   study   in   being   in   love   with   the   thrill,   the   ticking   of   a   broken   clock,   and   hearing   your   heartbeat   in   your   ears.   you've   become   addicted   to   the   thrill   of   danger   and   living   life   recklessly.   you've   managed   to   make   people   believe   that   you're   untouchable,   that   you   live   life   so   dangerously   and   yet   so   precisely   that   the   world   revolves   around   you   and   only   you.   but   it   doesn't.   it   moves   without   you,   it   will   continue   to   move   when   you   stop,   and   it   will   always   move   on   when   you   never   move   again.   the   world   is   uncaring.   and   you   have   to   match   that   energy.   you   can't   stop   moving,   or   you'll   end   up   dead.

yellow

a   study   in   wildfires,   honeycombs,   and   summer   rain.   everyone   sees   you   smiling   and   laughing,   happy   in   all   the   ways   but   the   way   that   you   know   is   true   to   you.   everyone   believes   that   nothing   bad   could   happen   to   you,   that   you   live   life   so   freely   that   you'd   never   miss   a   beat,   even   if   something   bad   did   happen   to   happen   around   or   to   you.   but   you're   as   miserable   as   the   rest   of   them.   you   might   be   warm   and   gentle,   when   you   need   to   be,   but   at   the   end   of   the   day,   you   have   long   since   accepted   that   fire   is   like   you:   best   to   be   admired   but   never   touched.

tagged by: stolen from my multi tagging: everyone that wants to do this

[hstoryhuh-a]

which tarot card are you?

the tower

where is the line between awakening and self destruction? is it thin? are you walking toward it? on it? already too far gone? there is nothing more disheartening than trying to find yourself, only to learn that you detest the person you've been looking for. can i tell you a secret? you are allowed to love yourself. required to, even. how can you go forward without it? make no mistake– it is not easy. but it is essential. you will get there, and it will be warm.

NUMBER: 16 UPRIGHT: sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening REVERSED: personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster

[hstoryhuh-a]

MUSE DEMEANOR & MANNERISM GUIDE

EYES: avoids eye contact when nervous, maintains eye contact when nervous, avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent, enjoys eye contact as a means to read and convey emotion, looks down when emotional, looks up when emotional, cries openly, wipes tears quickly, suppresses tears, wandering gaze when lost in thought, holds gaze while thinking, seeks out eye contact for reassurance, seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations, eyes move constantly during conversation, expressive eyes, emotions only evident through eyes, uses eye contact to intimidate, looks up while thinking, looks down while thinking

HANDS: clasps behind back,  rests in lap,  fidgets with clothes,  twiddles thumbs,  chews at nails,  pushes back cuticles,  draws patterns on table/counter surfaces,  animated gestures while speaking,  only gestures to emphasize,  utilizes sign language,  speaks only through sign,   callouses,  scars,  smooth,  wrinkled,  worn,  soft,  delicate,  boney,  slender,  thick,  veiny,  touches others while speaking,  reaches out while laughing,  reaches out to comfort others,  reaches out to seek comfort,  places face in hands when exasperated,  places face in hands when exhausted,  places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed, rests chin in hands,  taps fingers when impatient,  taps fingers when nervous,  taps fingers while thinking,  scratches scalp,  strokes chin,  rubs back of head,  toys with objects around them,  runs fingers over surfaces while walking by

MOUTH: chews lip, chews at inside of cheek,  licks lips,  bites tongue,  chews on straws,  resting frown,  resting smile,  neutral resting expression,  resting pout,  grinds teeth,  flexes jaw,  covers mouth when laughing,  covers mouth when shocked,  covers mouth when concerned,  hands to lips while thinking,  covers mouth when chewing,  chews with mouth closed,  chews with mouth open,  smirks,  grins,  subtle smiles,  wide smiles,  sad smiles,  intimidating smiles,  menacing grins,  openly smiles,  tries to suppress smiles,  bares teeth when angry,  lips quiver when emotional,  stutters,  speaks quickly,  speaks slowly,  good pronunciation,  poor pronunciation,  moderate pronunciation,  purses lips,  sucks in lips,  holds mouth open when shocked or confused

LEGS:  bounces leg when nervous,  draws knees to chest when sitting, draws knees to chest as a means of comfort,  sits on knees,  sits with legs criss crossed,  sits with legs spread open in chairs,  crosses legs when sitting in chairs,  sits with one leg folded under the other, places feet on furniture,  never places feet on furniture,  sits on counters,  sits on desks,  sits on tables,  sits on edge of seat,  sits hunched over with forearms on knees,  arches one knee up,  sits on the arm of chairs/couches,  feet on dashboard,  swings legs back and forth when sitting somewhere elevated,  wiggles toes when nervous,  wiggles toes as a general tick,  shuffles feet,  kicks foot into ground,  stomps feet,  loud footsteps,  quiet footsteps,  silent footsteps 

HAIR:  runs fingers through hair,  tugs at hair,  picks at scalp,  chews on hair,  twists locks of hair while thinking or nervous,  smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous,  prefers hair out of face, prefers long hair,  prefers short hair,  wears hair back,  keeps hair down,  smooths back hair,  plays with other’s hair while talking,  plays with own hair while talking,  strokes hair to comfort others,  likes having hair stroked for their own comfort,  braids others’ hair while talking,  braids own hair while talking,  flips hair out of face,  pushes hair out of face,  leaves hair alone even when falling into face

tagged by @arachnidiots ( thank you! ) tagging anyone that wants to do this

[hstoryhuh-a]

bake a cake from scratch | ride a horse | drive a submarine | speak a second language | dance | catch a fish | play an instrument | throw a punch | build a deck | ice skate | roller skate | unclog a drain | program a computer | change a flat tire | fire a gun | sew | juggle | play poker | paint | fly a kite | sculpt | write poetry | change a diaper | sing | shoot a bow and arrow | ride a bike | swim | sail a boat | do a back flip | play chess | give cpr | pitch a tent | flirt | stitch a wound | read palms | use chopsticks | write in cursive | use an electrical drill | braid hair | make a campfire | make a mixed drink | do sudoku puzzles | wrap a gift | give a good massage | jump start a car | roll their tongue | magic tricks | do yoga | tie a tie | skip a rock | shuffle a deck of cards | read morse code | pick a lock

BOLD what your muse can do. italicize what they can do to some extent.

REPOST, don’t reblog.