#'you've always known you can't go back to the start / and so you live inside the moment when it all fell apart'

[crimsonbubble]

arrogant ceo yunho who gets knocked down by his cute little intern

He works his employees to the bone, forcing long, gruelling hours and unnecessary overtime. He finds it amusing how easily anyone bends over backwards to please him. He loves knowing how many people hate him but can't afford to lose their jobs, so they never formally complain. You've been dealing with this for months, just trying to get through your internship without pulling your hair out, yet Mr. Jeong always finds a way to add more to your plate and make you redo reports.

Everyone has a breaking point, so when your recent report gets flagged, again, you can only purse your lips and turn to your computer to redo it—until you get called into his office. You swear you could feel your eye twitch, your nails digging into your palms as you clench your fists in an attempt not to break everything on your desk.

You march to his office, throwing open the door without knocking or waiting for approval. "Do you find joy in making your employee's lives miserable?" His door hadn't even been closed when you started in on him. Mr. Jeong quirks a brow, a scoff leaving his lips as he pushes reports aside on his desk. With a clenched jaw, you stalked over to his desk, wrapping his tie around his hand and yanking him forward.

His eyes widened as a staggered gasp left his mouth at your incredulous action. “Do you think… this is a laughing matter, Mr. Jeong?” Your voice is hauntingly smooth as you tug on his tie again. “I can terminate your contract for this stunt.” He internally groaned at how shaky his breath was as he talked. You chuckled dryly. “You won’t, though.” You stare into his eyes, glazed over with bottled emotions. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you know I do this job better than any employee here,” You tightened your grip on his tie. “And you’d be damned to lose me.” His office suddenly feels a lot hotter, his throat dry as he tries to focus on the fury in your eyes and not your soft lips that are pulled taut.

Mr. Jeong's lips press together, his eyes locked onto yours, trying to reclaim the authority that has suddenly slipped from his grasp. You can see the conflict brewing in his gaze—indignation fighting with undeniable acknowledgment. He knows you're right. You’ve always known. That’s why he pushes you the hardest, testing how far you'll go, seeing if you'll break. 

For a moment, he’s speechless, his bravado slipping as he struggles to find a response. “This—” he starts, his voice wavering slightly. “This is unacceptable behaviour.” But you don’t let go. Instead, you lean closer, and you can feel his breath hitch. He’s always been untouchable, but right now, he’s caught—like prey staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

You feel something snap inside you—a dam breaking. All the pent-up frustration, all the swallowed rage. “You know what’s unacceptable?” you say, your voice low and laced with contempt. “Being treated like a machine. Expecting loyalty without respect. You think your power gives you the right to treat us like we’re beneath you. But not me. Not anymore.”

His face flushes, and for the first time since you started here, he looks unsure. Vulnerable. It's as if you've shattered the carefully crafted mask he wears every day. You can see him wavering, his confidence fraying like a thread about to snap. You’ve never seen him this way—off-balance, unguarded. There's a strange thrill in watching him come undone, knowing that you've managed to pierce the armour he hides behind.

“Let me be clear,” you say, loosening your grip just enough to let him breathe but not enough for him to pull away. “I will finish this report, and I will do it perfectly like I always do. But from now on, you're going to treat me with the respect I deserve—or I walk. And believe me, you will feel it when I’m gone.” 

He’s silent, the room thick with tension. Slowly, you release his tie, smoothing it back down against his chest. His breathing is uneven, his eyes wide, but he doesn’t stop you. He watches you like he’s never really seen you before, and maybe he hasn’t. Maybe you've been just another employee to him until now, another cog in the machine.

“Get back to work,” he says, but the command lacks its usual edge. You turn to leave, not bothering to wait for a dismissal this time. As you step through the doorway, you don’t slam the door shut. You leave it slightly ajar, knowing he’s still staring after you, something in the atmosphere between you changed forever.

Back at your desk, you start the report again, your hands steady, your mind clear. There's a new feeling thrumming in your chest—an unfamiliar, heady sense of power. For the first time, you think he might be the one who’s afraid to lose you. 

And that realization? It makes you smile.

-

Yunho sat in his office, staring at the office door you walked out of. His breathing came out hot and heavy, his heart racing in his chest. He knows he shouldn’t, but your fire is eating him alive. He can feel it crawl into every crevice of his being, lighting him up from the inside out. He leans back in his chair, trying to will his mind to be anywhere other than his pretty little intern.

Wait.

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His pretty little intern…

His mouth fell agape, wondering where the audacity of his own thoughts was coming from. His attempt to think of anything but you was futile; no matter what he did, his thoughts found their way back to you. He ran a hand over his face, a dull throb in his head as he paced around his office. He shook his head with a huff, striding over to his door.

His eyes are scanning the cubicles and desks, watching as all employees avoid eye contact. He walks with a purpose, making his way to your desk. You nonchalantly sip on your coffee, holding a hand out to stop him before he can speak, opting to finish typing out the email before hitting send. He stared at you with disdain, his tongue poking his cheek as he sighed out his frustration. You turned in your chair, cocking your head. “My office. Now.”

“For what reason?” Yunho quirked a brow, taking notice as other workers stopped their work to witness the scene upon them. “Oh? Already forgot the stunt you pulled in my office?” Yunho leaned his hands on your desk, lowering his head to yours. “The only one pulling stunts is you, Mr. Jeong ‘never leaves his office for anything or anyone’ Yunho.” The other workers whispered among themselves, silently applauding you in your stance against your big, bad boss.

Yunho pulled out a folded paper from his jacket, straightening up before throwing it in front of you. “Alright then, here’s your final assignment. Appear in my office in two minutes or face termination.” A ghost of a smirk tugged at his lips as he put his hands in his pockets, making his way back to his office. You eyed the folded paper, scoffing at his absurdity. He actually handed you a termination letter.

You clutched the paper tightly as you got out of your seat. You threw it into your desk trashcan, grumbling as you made your way into his office. He sat against his desk, his hands still in his pockets yet his coat was off this time. He briefly took a hand out of his pocket, beckoning you over with a finger. As you stood in front of him, you could smell the cologne waving off him; a mix of earthy tones and sweetness.

Yunho waited for the click of his door, ensuring that it was closed before he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into him. His lips found yours with ease. His kiss was rushed, fueled by the emotions from earlier. “You have no idea what you do to me.” His voice is hushed as he whispers against your lips. His hands stay busy on your waist, tugging your hips closer. You smile into the kiss, letting Yunho’s hands explore your body like he’s done many times before. You slide your hands lower, palming over the obvious bulge in his slacks.

“Fuck, I need you now.” Yunho turns you around, moving you to bend over his desk. He unceremoniously tugs your pants down your thighs, groaning as he eyes the lace trimming of your panties. Yunho shoved your panties to the side, letting his leaking cock bump against your clit. You jolt against his desk, clawing at the wood. Yunho leans against your back, taking your hands in his. The ring on his finger catches against your matching one.

“Gonna be good for me, honey? Be a good girl for daddy, huh?”

[wonwoonlight]

in this time or the others / choi seungcheol

notes: 1.3k // nothing but pure, sweet people in love lol // seungcheol brainrot. happy bday to the only man ever 🖤

[ ❀❀❀ ]

Oftentimes you would look at Seungcheol and wonder what you did in your past lives to deserve the chance of being with him.

You don’t know if your time with him is borrowed or not, and you’re not sure why your love for him seems to be the most secure of all kinds of love that you’ve experienced throughout your life, romantic or not.

It doesn’t make sense how steady your feelings are for him, unchanging (unless when it’s getting deeper) and never stopping, almost like you’ve always known how to love him. Like breathing. You just know how to do it without anyone ever teaching you how to–it’s natural and you can’t be without it. Quite literally at that, too.

You’ve never been this secure when it comes to relationships–what with your mostly bad experiences with them and everything–but it’s easy to fall in love with Choi Seungcheol even before he starts loving you back. It’s easy to drown in his eyes and get captivated in his existence. If this is how love is supposed to feel, like a dream you don’t wish to wake up from, then you hope you’ll be stuck in this feeling forever.

That word doesn’t even scare you anymore. Thinking about forever with Seungcheol only brings smiles to your face, even though in your life prior to him it scared the shit out of you due to its uncertainty and the insecurity your head would fuel your head with.

“Why are you smiling to yourself?” Seungcheol interrupts your thoughts, handing you a mug of hot chocolate as he takes his seat next to you. Always right next to you.

“Just… thinking of something.” You try to dismiss the topic, though Seungcheol narrows his eyes at you and demands you to explain.

“Something else?” Oh, that’s the kind of mood that he’s in. You grin at his antics, letting him continue. “Not me?”

On any other day, you would’ve played along and tried to get a reaction out of him, push his buttons and kiss the pout off his face. But there’s something about today that makes you feel a little cheesy, so you look into his eyes and smile, enjoying the confused look he’s sending you because he’s expecting some witty comebacks that you’d always throw his way.

“Always you.” You whisper like it's a secret as you find yourself drowning in the universe reflected in his eyes, holding his gaze as if it's the first time you've ever looked into them. He’s flustered, of course, having not anticipated you to react this way. “I think I can't go a day without thinking about you, really. Can anyone? I personally think we're all here to revolve around you. When you're not around, I cease to exist and kinda just not do anything until you step into my subspace again.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He groans, his palm covers your face in a desperate attempt not to let you see how flustered he actually is at the turn of your words while you simply laugh through his fingers. “I knew you wouldn't just say shit like that.”

“So rude.” You pout at him, knowing how much it annoys him when you do it at times like this. “Can't believe that's how you speak to your girlfriend.”

“You–”

“And they say you make people's hearts flutter. Do they know you're this combative with someone you love?”

“That's not–”

“I've fallen into your trap, haven't I?” You match his usual dramatics, feeling a little annoying as much as you are all soft inside. “I didn't think–”

“Shut. Up.” He repeats, pulls you into his lap, and strangles you into a cuddle because he couldn't ask you like a normal person.

You settle happily into his neck, leaving a kiss on his jaw before he maneuvers you into a more comfortable position. There's a happy hum flowing throughout your body, as if telling you that it's happy that you're where you are. That this is where you belong.

“I really was thinking about you, though.” You continue your prior topic, your tone more calm and relaxed, much like the rhythm of his heartbeat.

It's funny, really. He used to think being in love means butterflies and fireworks, a series of heartbeats skipping through its tempo, or a constant flutter in his stomach. After finding you, he realizes it's not just about that. It's the way he calms at the touch of your fingers, the way his eyes follow you everywhere you might be, the way his heart fucking melts everytime you gazes into his eyes and breaks into a shy smile.

He doesn't get fireworks in his chest when he kisses you. He gets a constant buzz of electricity throughout his body that keeps him afloat.

He doesn't get butterflies in his tummies when he wakes up next to you in the morning. He gets reassurance that this is what he wants to see every morning of his fucking life.

“Yeah?” He kisses the top of your head, asking you to elaborate. “What about me?”

“Do you think we've met before?”

A laugh slips past his lips before he pulls away and looks at you, searching for your face.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, I don't know. In another lifetime?”

Seungcheol blinks, not expecting the conversation to steer this way.

“I feel like I've always known you.” You continue, seemingly lost in your thoughts. “Like I've always known to love you?”

His breath actually stops at your words, his heart beating so hard it echoes all the way to his ears, and his arms tighten around you like a lifeline.

“I wouldn't say it feels like a deja vu. It just feels like… ah, I'm so bad at this. But it feels like I've always meant to love you?”

It takes a while for Seungcheol to manage the words out of his mouth, overwhelmed by his own feelings and how out of nowhere you spur these on him.

“I'm stealing that for our wedding, just so you know.” He says without thinking, and you two spend exactly seven seconds (he counted) looking into each other in flustered bliss, registering what Seungcheol has just said.

“What?” You almost choke on your word, and it's your turn to have your heart beating throughout your entire body.

“What?” He chooses to play stupid, like he didn't just bring up the W word even though it's been his wildest dream since the moment you let him take you home three years ago that feels like, well, another lifetime.

“I–”

“I feel the same, if you're wondering.” He cuts you off, not ready to actually talk about it even though it's simply obvious–dare he says–you'd marry each other. But he doesn't want to talk about it right now, when he's struggling to think straight because of the fuzzy feelings engulfing his entire being. “Like I've always meant to love you.”

Seungcheol could've sworn there are traces of tears in your eyes that you stubbornly and successfully blink away. But he can't tease you about it when he's currently trying to stop his trembling lips to stop himself from fucking crying.

“Perhaps we did meet before.” He suddenly answers your question that starts the discussion to begin with. “In another lifetimes.”

“Lifetimes? Plural?”

“Can't imagine a life where I don't have you by my side, really.”

“Hmm. And in our next one?”

“I'll probably meet you again.”

“Yeah? And what will you do?”

“Sweep you off your feet again, duh.”

“Arrogant bastard.” You grin, though not so opposed to the idea of meeting and loving him again in every single one of your lifetime. “I don't know. I think I'd want to try dating Wonwoo.”

Seungcheol makes a sound from the back of his throat that immediately throws you into a fit of laughter; and before he can say shit and actually get upset about your little joke, you slot your lips into his and shut him up. He's still putting on an act of being upset, but you don't really care because you just know he'd smile into the kiss in a matter of seconds. And when he does, you can't help but return the gesture before you two end up giggling to yourselves for no reason at all.

It is so easy to love Choi Seungcheol.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 – 𝟏𝟑

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞

⤥ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤥ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔

⤥ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐.𝟕𝐤

⤥ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐦𝐚/𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐦.), 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟. 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫/𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐭𝐰

⤥ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲'𝐬 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤.

Sunghoon has always struggled with his emotions. He knows it's because his father never allowed him to live, express or even feel any type of emotion, yet the older he gets the angrier he becomes whenever he realises just how difficult it is to handle everything that's going on inside of him.

There are quite a few things he can't put a name on, but if there's one he's known and stood behind for over a decade now then it's the fact that he hates you.

He can't even remember what it feels like to associate you with anything else besides that burning rage in the deepest parts of his chest. Your voice, your eyes, your face, your mannerisms, your body, everything about you irritates him. Even your choice of words makes his blood boil to the point where he feels deeply uncomfortable whenever he has to listen to you speak for longer than necessary.

He's grown so used to his hatred for you, Sunghoon has actually started finding comfort in his anger and frustration.

And maybe the fact that he's currently tiptoeing on the line of his comfort zone is the reason why he's so angry over the rock hard bulge in his sweats.

You're not supposed to turn him.

This is not how things are supposed to be.

He hates you. There's never been a person he's despised and disliked with the entirety of his heart the way he does with you.

So why the fuck has he not stopped thinking about the way you taste for the past two weeks?

Sunghoon has lost count on how many times he's had to force himself to watch something – anything to push you all the way into the back of his mind just for you to be the one and only thought in his head every single time he comes all over his fist like some horny teenager.

He just doesn't understand how a single moment of sex with you could have possibly altered his whole way of thinking about you to the point where he physically can't stop himself from moaning your name into his pillow.

He hates you.

You made him go through the worst and most gut wrenching experience he's ever had to endure, yet he'd do anything to get another taste of the sweetest pussy he's ever had.

Sunghoon's been trying so hard to understand his body, his train of thoughts, his emotions and yet every attempt turned into a failure because despite his efforts, he always found his way back to you.

At one point he's managed to convince himself that the reason for his body's reactions is the fact that he's been around you more often than he's initially been used to. Before you became the team's manager, he's had to endure your presence maybe once a month or every few weeks because of a mutual friend's birthday.

But now?

Now you're everywhere he goes.

Whenever he walks into the trainer's office at the ice rink, Hoon catches himself eyeing your body up and down, flashbacks to the way you felt, sounded and tasted washing over him every single time. The fact you've been wearing less and less to practice with each day passing by definitely plays a big part in his current state of frustration but no matter how much he tries to deny it, deep down Sunghoon knows it's because he still wants you.

No, it's actually gotten even worse than before. His attempt to "fuck you out of his system" has failed miserably and never once in his life has he regretted anything as much as listening to his body's urges on the day of Heeseung's birthday party.

If only he didn't ignore the rational voice inside of his head that day, maybe he wouldn't have to fight the urge to fuck his fist to the memory of your perfect pussy every god damn day.

Sunghoon's been in absolute denial the first few days after he had gotten his first taste of you, but after his third tinder date had gone wrong because he simply couldn't get it up, his body gave up and his mind quickly followed.

That's how he's come to accept his fate.

And just as usual it doesn't take long for jolts of heat to rush through his veins as soon as his eyes scan the picture you had posted in your story.

It's feels like you're taunting him but Sunghoon knows he broke you with his reaction to the aftermath of your intimacy. He purposely chose to hit you exactly where it hurts because he wants you to be in emotional pain. Everything he says, every comment he makes, every little thing he criticises about you is said and done with the simple intention of hurting you.

There's no point in responding to your stupid yapping if it doesn't end with a blow right under the belt.

Hoon's never played fair when it came to you, simply because he doesn't care. He never cared about you. Not after what happened almost a decade ago, so why would he care about you now?

To say he doesn't care feels like a lie, because someone who claims that would never follow and beat up said person's disgusting boyfriend just because he felt like it.

But to Sunghoon it makes sense. You and your existence are not of relevance to him. The only reason he puts up with you is because of his boys, that's it.

For a moment the thought of just going to the gym and taking his frustration out in the healthiest way he knows crosses his mind but it'd be the fifth time this week and his muscle would give up on him, regardless of how badly he wants to do anything but actually do what he knows his body is craving.

Hoon can't really remember how many days it's been since he came and he doesn't want to anyway, because whenever he remembers how confused and surprised the cute blondie he had matched on tinder with looked when he had decided to leave after giving her head, he just wants to dig his own grave and sleep forever.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't even enjoy the oral intimacy the way he'd usually do, the reason behind that being the fact that never once has a woman reacted to his touch the way you did.

You were so wet, so ready, so needy for him. It was like your pussy had been waiting for him and his touch all this time. Of course he'd never, ever tell you about these thoughts because he'd rather jump off a bridge than tell you just how good you felt but the frustration has slowly been catching up on him.

Within just a few seconds the pain of his erection has left him in a state of actual panic because Sunghoon's been denying himself the relief to your memory to protect his own dignity, but the sight of your body clad in that tiny piece of cloth you dared to call a skirt was enough to drive him into insanity.

Before the rational part of his brain can even fight its way through the thick fog of arousal, Sunghoon has already pushed his grey sweats down his tense thighs, a deep groan escaping his throat as soon as the cool air of his room hits the wet tip of his hard cock.

After what feels like an eternity, Hoon finally decides to give in. He's a victim to his own pleasure and he hates himself for it, yet the feeling of stimulation sends the sweetest waves of relief through his body, leaving him utterly confused and lightheaded.

For the first time since he's gotten a taste of you, Sunghoon doesn't force his mind to focus on other things, he actually indulges in the sweet memory of how good you made him feel. He doesn't even have to do much as his thoughts wander to the sound of your moans and whimpers, to the warmth and wetness of your cunt.

One thing in particular that has yet to leave his mind is the mental image of the way you didn't even hesitate to obey him, quickly parting those pretty lips and sticking out your tongue like you've been waiting to please him.

Every time he closes his eyes and strokes his cock just a little faster, Sunghoon thinks of the way you swallowed his spit and whimpered his name, your pussy dripping wet and ready for him and him only.

With every single minute passing by, Hoon's grip around his phone tightens, a screenshot of your most recent instagram stories on full display for his hungry eyes, something he's not quite proud of but is too fucked out to even think of in that particular moment.

With sharp movements of his hips, Hoon continues to thrust his cock into his tight fist, in desperate hopes of recreating the sweet tightness of your perfect cunt, only to let out a deep grunt of frustration when he realises his failure.

Why did you have to do this to him? Why did your pussy have to be the best he's ever fucked, the sweetest he's ever tasted?

Life has never been good to him but this feels too much. Sunghoon feels overwhelmed and frustrated, yet relief and pleasure continue rushing through his veins with every stroke.

As the young man catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he hates how much he likes what he sees because to his utter shock and displeasure, he's never actually seen himself as ecstatic as in that very moment.

Bleached hair falling messily into his flushed face, a thin veil of sweat covering the entirety of his skin as moan after moan falls past his bit swollen lips.

To his luck Jaeyun had decided to go on a late night snack trip with the other boys, leaving him enough privacy to be as vocal as possible. The worst thing about this, however, remains the fact that Sunghoon has never been the type to make that much noise.

He still remembers how Jakyung had always asked him to be a little bit more vocal about his pleasure, yet for some reason he never had the urge to, whereas now he can barely hold himself back.

Every time his eyes roll into the back of his head, Sunghoon thinks about your little whimpers and high pitched moans.

Mental images of burying his face in your sweet cunt suddenly start overwhelming him, turning into his new favorite thought as he remembers just how hard you kept clenching around his tongue.

It's been almost two weeks since you let him eat you out upon revealing your lack of oral intimacy to him, yet the taste of your sweet juices still lingers on his tongue like it happened yesterday.

The first few days Hoon was convinced that he had gone crazy. His mind was playing tricks on him as he tried to erase your menory with other girls but no matter what, at the end of each and every single hook up, he found himself with his forehead pressed against the wall of his shower, hand as firmly wrapped around his hard cock as he's currently doing, only for your name to fall past his lips the second he reached his sweet relief.

"S-Sunghoon. Please, I need to cum. Don't take this away from me."

That line has turned into a mantra that stupid voice in the back of his voice has been chanting for the past two weeks, driving him into absolute insanity.

But he physically can't deny just how much he liked the sound of his name coming from your lips.

Every time he sees you at practice, he has to force himself to stop imagining how good you probably looked as you begged for his cock, for his tongue and his fingers. For him.

The loud noise of his fist hitting the bare skin of his thighs mixes with his deep grunts and guttural moans, a few whimpers of the nickname he had given you all these years ago, the one you hated with your entire being, easily filling the emptiness of his room.

As Hoon tightens his grip around his cock to simulate the tightness of your perfect pussy, his head falls against the headboard of his bed, jolts of hot pleasure blurring his vision the closer he gets to the relief he's been chasing for what feels like hours.

And Sunghoon knows it's because he wants to spend that much time and even longer just pounding you into your mattress. He hates how badly he wants to watch the way your stupidly beautiful feature contort in a mixture of pleasure and light pain from how much his big cock is stretching you out.

But fuck, does it feel good to just let those thoughts and fantasies fill his head.

And every time his brain reminds him of the fact that you're currently out with some random fucker, hoping he'll give you what only Sunghoon is capable of elicits a row of moaned profanities to leave from his lips.

But in the same moment he won't allow his brain to think of the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you're still as indifferent about him as you were before he fucked you.

To stop his raging boner from dying, Sunghoon shifts his attention back to his phone screen, his soft whimpers echoing in his room as he zooms in on your bare thighs, reminding himself just how good it felt to have his head between them.

There's no way any other guy could ever make you cum as hard with just his tongue, Sunghoon simply refuses to accept the mere possibility.

Your cunt was made for him and him only.

And as he continues to dwell in the sweet memory of your juices dripping out of your tight hole and coating the entire of his tongue like actual honey, Sunghoon has to put his phone down.

Before his brain can even register what his body is doing, his hand finds home in his now slightly damped hair to pull on the thick strands with force, knowing it's exactly what he needs to finally cum. Just like you had done it that night.

With his head full of images of your annoyingly pretty eyes and your dripping cunt, Sunghoon throws his head back with a loud moan of your name and stumbles right into his orgasm.

Waves of pleasure overwhelm his body as he cums all over his bare stomach, coating his flushed skin in three thick stripes of white, yet not ready to stop his hand from stroking his overly sensitive cock.

"F-Fuck", Sunghoon grunts, lets his eyes roll into the back of his head and his lips stretch into a lazy smile when his body finally relaxes underneath his own touch.

His heavy breathing remains the only sound for about five minutes as the blood slowly stops thrumming in his ears and his vision clears up again.

Never once in his life has anyone ever managed to make him cum so hard to the point where actual tears have threatened to fill his eyes and the fact that you, of all people, are the reason behind his current state is something Sunghoon will take to his grave with him.

Yet, he's determined to turn his fantasies and memories into reality, certain you're craving his touch as much as he does with yours.

Sunghoon knows this isn't one sided. There's no way in hell you didn't like fucking him just as much and even if you forgot about him already, which he highly doubts, he's determined to remind you what only he can make you feel.

Because no matter how much you hate each other, at the end of the day your bodies will always betray you.

No matter how hard he tries to deny it:

He wants, craves and needs your body.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: here it is, just as promised 🫠 ngl i havent written a fist fuck scene in so long so pls bear with me 😭 thank you so so so much for all the love and support my angels, i love and appreciate you all so much!🤍🫧 feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @en-happiness @lhsvibez @dammit-jjk @heerinnie @primroselover @jungwon-xo @szkstay @lostwonderwall @hoonieluv @certifiedmoa @doodlelibrary @ikeuizm @kpoprhia @sleeping-demons @jongszn @imtoanonymousforyou @lalalovejay @ineedsomezzz @xrr-s4sha @ariadores @viagumi @electrobutterfly @mimikittysblog @blurryriki @heelcvr @wonkifangirl @joonzseoulmate @kwiwin @hoondiors @seuomo @zerasari @love-you-twice @aloverga @marz-mars @velvtcherie @niniissus @abrazosolorcereza @ddazed-lhs @acphengene @skz-streamer @kshoshi @tya0 @yizhoutv @jebetwo @myheelody @seokgyuu @blockbusterhee @l0vee-l3tters @luvkpopp

[fbfh]

thinking about making eddie munson a daddy. specifically loud simp!eddie, just fuckin living the dream with you after high school. it's the early 90s, corroded coffin just finished their first world tour and are working on their fourth album. Eddie's a little older now, maybe mid/late 20s. His hair is still wild, it's even a little longer now, and he has a little stubble that tickles when he kisses you. or yk. does other stuff. anyway you're running some errands with Eddie and your 2 year old daughter Rose. He has even more sweet ol' tatties now, too. tucked right in next to the demon on his chest, he has a rose for your daughter, and your birth flower right over his heart so he can always keep you close to him. You're nearing your third trimester and your second baby is growing beautifully inside you. Eddie is so obsessed with your bump, always holding it for you, playing metal hits in headphones and kissing it. He tells it stories every night, too, right out of his dnd books. Rosie sits in on all of them, of course. She can't stand normal bedtime stories and only wants to hear about how the tieflings and orcs settled their age old dispute over the kryptgarden forest I don't play dnd don't come for me if this is inacurrate- Baby number two's nursery is almost done, you just need to pick up a few more cans of paint and some last minute decorations and additions. You're wearing a snug little maternity cami that shows off your bump and gorgeous figure, the one that drives Eddie crazy, and a pair of loose overalls with paint smudged on the side and cuffs. Rosie is wearing her favorite sundress, and Eddie has regretably left his leather jacket at home in an attempt to combat the hazy summer heat - but his vest isn't going anywhere. His hair is tied up all messy and a few stray curls have fallen out, brushing the neck of his cut off corrorded coffin shirt. He still can't believe his band actually has shirts, even though he sees you sleep in them every night. Rose wants to look at a music box for the baby, and since you're not allowed to pick up any more than 15 pounds on doctor's orders, Eddie scoops her up to take a look while you flip through paint swatches.

You're rudley interrupted by a grating voice you thought you'd heard the last of at your high school graduation. You look up as your name is called again at one of the bitchy girls you went to school with. You never thought you'd see her or any of her rude, cliquey, mean girl friends again, and you know exactly what you need to do.

You look at her blankly.

She keeps saying your name and introducing herself until finally mentioning you went to school together.

"Oh," you nod, ensuring no lightbulb of recognition goes off in your eyes. "Right."

You've only just started to take the wind out of her sails, and you look through paint swatches as she talks, and you remain completly bored and uninterested.

"You look... different!" She says with a fake kindness that she mircaulously hasn't grown out of yet. You hum in response. Right as you're about to exit as gracefully as possible, Eddie walks up the aisle behind you, Rosie on his hip. He's playing some little game with her, making her giggle like he always does. To this day, it astounds you how good he is with kids. You look back up at your former classmate, and have to bite back a laugh. She is totally checking him out. The irony of the situation - the exact type of girl who made your life hell and absolutely would have terrorized Eddie if they'd known each other back then - is now pushing up her boobs in her shirt and putting on the same pick me flirting face she apparently still uses.

"Hey there, sweetheart." Eddie says, gazing at you so warmly that his love for you is palpable. One look, and anyone can tell how head over heels crazy he is about you. He kisses you in a way that makes your stomach flip - and hers, both with longing and jealousy - then crouches down to your belly.

"And hello to you too, little dragon." Eddie chuckles, kissing your bump. Baby number two had earned the nickname from all your intense cravings for spicy food early on in your pregnancy, along with jokes about how Eddie wouldn't be surprised if the little guy can breathe fire when they pop out. He puts Rose in the baby seat of your shopping cart and reaches down to hold up your belly, swaying and kissing your cheek - and maybe nibbling your ear a little, just enough to make you laugh. He rests his head on your shoulder when he finally notices your former classmate.

"Oh," you say, like you just remembered she was there too. "How rude of me, Eddie, this is..."

You trail off, gesturing to her with the hand not on your cart for Rose to hold. She definitley takes after her dad, her love language has been physical touch since day one. The silence grows awkward as you're unable to recall her name, and after a painfully long wait, she finally relents, introducing herself.

"Right." You nod, chuckling. "Pregnancy brain. Anyway, we went to... high school... together." You say, like you're unsure if that's right. She nods, growing agetated that her status as popular girl and runner up prom queen doesn't extend into the real world.

"And this is Eddie. My husband." You look up at him lovingly as you say it, a warm gaze he returns. He takes your hand and kisses it.

"The luckiest husband in the world." He says sincerely, pressing another kiss to your temple. Her face sinks as she realizes you got married before she did.

"Oh," She nods, then tries to recover quickly. "Okay. Well, let's see the ring."

She says it playfully, but you know she's committing every detail to memory, looking for anything to scrutinize, and you're sure you'll hear about her gossiping about you from one of the kids you went to school with - you know, the nice, non-shitty ones. You extend your left hand despite the tacky nature of her question, and you wish you could have gotten a picture of the look on her face.

The ring and wedding band you wear are actually the second set of wedding rings from Eddie. The first one, the ring he proposed with, is actually one of his. You still wear it on a chain around your neck - it was always way too big for you, but you never wanted to resize it. When corroded coffin signed their first recording contract six months after you'd eloped, the first thing Eddie did with his signing bonus was buy you the biggest diamond he could find. The way you reacted with such genuine surprise, and still loved the old one too much to stop wearing told Eddie with more certainty than ever that he could not have made a better choice in handing over his heart to someone.

"Wow..." she says, trying to keep her face neutral. "Looks like you're ready to pop any day now too, huh?"

the backhanded comment rolls right off you as Rosie speaks up in her endearing toddler babble.

"I- I'm- mommy's making me a- a baby brother for us!" She says excitedly, "Or- she maybe baking a baby sister. Maybe." She emphasizes, repeating what you and Eddie told her about being surprised if it's going to be a baby brother or baby sister. You chuckle at your daughter, and Eddie looks down at her.

"That's right sweet girl. You're gonna have to teach baby how to fight dragons and be a big strong paladin, just like you!" He pokes her playfully and she starts giggling her head off again. You can't get over how much they look alike, she really could be Eddie's twin. Before you can find a graceful exit out of the conversation, a group of a few people freeze a few feet away. You're used to this sort of reaction by now, you have people from 12 to 45 shaking and crying at the sight of Eddie - dubbed the number one guitarist in the last decade by Rolling Stone - much less getting to meet him and take a picture, which Eddie always loves to do.

Your former classmate watches in shock as the guys walk over nervously, asking if he's really Eddie Munson, like the Eddie Munson. He confirms playfully, and you accept their cameras to take a few pictures for them. He offers to autograph their arms or notebooks and starts patting his pockets down for a pen. You beat him to it, pulling out a perminant marker from your purse. He chuckles sweetly, caressing your face.

"You really are always one step ahead, aren't you sweetheart?"

He signs some pages and shirts and even a forehead before they go, thanking him profusely the whole time.

"I'm sorry-" Your classmate interrupts. "What exactly is it that you do?"

One of the guys, still straggling to get a few more glances at Eddie scoffs, personally offended by her question.

"You don't know who that is?" he demands. Thankfully, you manage to slip away to finish your errands while he lectures her on the genius of corroded coffin. Once out of ear shot, Eddie says softly, intimately close to you, "Was she the one from the prom dress story?"

"Oh yeah," you nod. "She was a real bubhosh." Eddie laughs at your middle earth insult - roughly translating to dung heap - that the two of you used to substitute any words you don't want Rosie picking up yet. Eddie is glad you pulled him away when you did, cause if he was around her much longer, he probably wouldn't have been able to resist roasting her to a crisp. Then again, with someone as incredible as you it's pretty easy to make anyone else look bad in comparison.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Home Is Where The Heart Is.

Synopsis - They say home is where the heart is. Your heart belongs to four guys you call your best friends. Also known as - four important times the boys told you they loved you.

Pairing - Frankie Morales, Will Miller, Santiago Garcia, Benny Miller x Female Reader.

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5k

Author's Note - is it weird that I have sort of compared each boy to a room in the house? maybe! but we're rolling with it, because it worked in my head. this is the first of a few fics like this, much like Tethered, Time and Tranquility - I have a few different TF boy comparison ideas. love these babies so much. <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

You follow the laughter floating down the hallway into your backyard. Standing against the doorframe, you watch as the boys double over in amusement while Benny reenacts the time Frankie fell in your pool. Their faces are illuminated by the golden glow of the fairy lights adorning your deck, moonlight shining down.

"And none of you helped me! Hermosa had to come and rescue me! At least I know who loves me the most," Frankie chuckles, tilting back in his chair to catch your eyes.

You make your way over and kiss him on the cheek, standing behind him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I don't think there was ever any debating that. You've always been my favourite," you coo, ruffling his hair gently.

"Give us a break," Benny teases. "We all know I'm your favourite, sweetheart."

Santiago scoffs and jabs Ben in the ribs, yelping when the younger man elbows him in retaliation.

"Cariño, put them out of their misery. Tell them I'm your favourite."

You catch eyes with Will, who's grinning at you across the table. He doesn't even have to say anything. He raises his eyebrows and winks at you, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. You can't help but smile back.

"I mean, Will is currently very high on the list, because he built this table for me today."

Everyone groans as you and Will laugh, knocking on the table to check his handiwork.

"You did a good job," Frankie praises, kicking at a leg to see if it holds.

"I built your couch!"

"You can't build a couch, Ben."

"He did! It needed assembling!"

Benny blows you a kiss, thanking you for the assist.

"I did most of the painting," Santiago chimes in.

"Until your weak ass knees gave in," Frankie laughs.

Santi shoots daggers at him, both of them chuckling.

"Me and Hermosa tiled her bathroom. That took fucking forever."

"Frankie, I told you that I'd call a guy for that, and you told me you were the guy."

"You can't tell me those tiles aren't gorgeous."

You shrug, squeezing him tight.

"You're right. They are. I admire them everytime I shower."

"Ooo, tell us more," Benny teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"Pervert," you and Will say in unison, both shaking your heads.

You settle into the chair next to Frankie, popping the cap off your beer.

"I honestly don't think I'd have any furniture without you guys. This house wouldn't be a home if it wasn't for you."

All of their attention is on you, focusing as if you're the only girl in the world. You feel like it sometimes, when you're all together.

"I can't believe you've been moved in for an entire year," Santi muses. "Feels like only yesterday we were helping you unpack all those boxes."

"Time flies when you're having fun," you beam at him.

As the evening settles and the sun begins its descent, you start to think about just how many parts of the boys live in your house. The furniture, the paint, the lights. At least one of them helped you with basically every single element. You think of all the memories filled with happiness and laughter that have happened here over the last year, and your eyes well with tears. You meant what you said, earlier. Your house wouldn't be a home without them.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The Living Room. Benny.

You're tangled with Ben on your newly assembled couch, a cheesy romcom acting as background noise. We have to test it out, he'd said. Just in case.

So here you are, nestled into his side, strong arm slung over your shoulder to pull you closer. You sip your drink, paying virtually no mind to the movie. You're making a mental list of all of the things you still need to do for the house - tile the bathroom, buy a lawnmower, paint literally every room. But the couch is a start.

"I can hear the cogs turning in that brain of yours," he laughs, pinching your side. "We're supposed to be relaxing. You know, really getting a feel for the couch."

"Right, right. Sorry," you chuckle, nudging him with your shoulder in retaliation. "Just thinking about all of the shit I've gotta do."

"Hey, we've got plenty of time. And you've got four guys ready to do whatever needs to be done. There's no rush."

Exhaling loudly, you realise he's right. There is no rush. Yes, you may have a never ending list of things you need to get done, but there's no time limit. You can take each job as it comes.

You turn your attention back to the movie, discovering that it's actually half decent. By the time you're an hour into it, you and Benny are laughing along. It's a sweet coming of age story, two teenagers falling in love for the first time.

You watch as the two characters share a kiss, all clumsy hands and unsure touches. You smile, and start to think.

"This bringing back memories, Ben?" you tease.

"Oh yeah. First time I ever made out with a girl, I couldn't get her bra undone. I was trying to give her a hickey at the same time, and I snapped the clasp against her so hard I made her bleed. Safe to say, we didn't make out again."

Both of you are crying with laughter, vibrating the couch with it.

"I can see the image so clearly. Teenage Ben with his frosted tips and his puka shell necklace. Bet you broke some hearts, huh?"

"Shut up," he chuckles. "I got tonnes of girls back then."

"I'm sure you did," you joke, pinching his cheeks.

He pinches your thigh and pulls you closer, settling back into the cushions.

"You know, I've never had one," you say after a while.

"Had what?"

"A hickey."

Ben pulls away and turns to face you, looking at you incredulously.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Never got one as a teenager. Now I'm a grown ass adult, I always warn my partners not to leave marks. Guess I just missed out on the whole hickey thing."

Ben smiles at you, mischief rife in his eyes.

"You want one?"

You quirk your brow and turn your body towards him, putting some distance between you to look at him properly.

"What game are you playing, Benny Miller?"

He laughs, and the sound makes you smile so wide it's blinding.

"No games, baby."

"No?"

"I believe getting a hickey as a teenager and having to figure out how to cover it up in embarrassment is a rite of passage. And I'm weirdly sad you missed out on it. So, I'm offering to give you that experience."

"Out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Exactly. Because I am a kind, selfless, giving guy."

You pause for a moment, watching his face carefully.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you laugh. "Show me what you've got, makeout king."

He chuckles at the nickname, but grabs your thighs to pull you closer. Benny plants a knee between your legs and leans over you, using a strong hand to hold onto your jaw. You tilt your head to the side, and brace yourself for his lips.

Instead, he takes his time. He noses up your neck, and then traces the path with the tip of his tongue. He blows onto your heated skin, making you shiver. Humming at your reaction, he leans in again, and connects his lips to the spot underneath your ear, kissing it softly.

"Benny," you breathe. "Don't tease."

"Whatever you want, baby."

Benny picks a spot on the side of your neck and sucks. When he's satisfied, he grazes his teeth over the mark, and uses his tongue to soothe the sting. Your eyes roll back, and you cant your hips into his knee between your legs.

You both lose yourself in the moment, chests heaving and breath panting. You separate yourselves to look at one another for a moment, neither of you breaking the gaze.

Suddenly, you burst into a fit of laughter, unable to stop it escaping. Within seconds, Benny joins you. Before you know it, you're both crying tears of joy, sides hurting and abs aching.

"Oh shit," you choke out between giggles. "How the fuck am I gonna cover this up?"

"That's half the fun, baby!"

"I hate you," you chuckle, smacking his side. "You're the worst."

"I love you too," he grins. "You're the best."

And when the rest of the guys ask what happened the next day, you and Benny discover that you make good improv partners. No one questions your elaborate story involving the couch and a runaway screwdriver. Benny winks at you cheekily, and you can't help but smile.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The Bathroom. Frankie.

Repeated knocking at your front door breaks you out of your reality TV induced haze. You check your phone for the time. 8:34pm.

You swing it open to be met with the sight of Francisco Morales. He has Ava perched on his hip, fluffy pink backpack held in his other hand.

"Hey, you guys. You okay?"

"Hermosa, I'm so sorry for just dropping in with no warning. I have a favour to ask."

"Anything."

"Can I bathe Ava here? We're having some sort of plumbing emergency in our bathroom, and we can't get a guy out until tomorrow. I want her to have clean hair for when I take her back to her Mom's."

You wink at Ava, who sticks her tongue out at you cheekily. You mimic her and smile, glancing back to her Dad, who looks like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders.

"Of course you can," you assure, reaching over to grab Ava from Frankie's arms. "Come on, baby girl. Let's get you clean!"

Frankie exhales a sigh of relief, and follows the two of you upstairs, locking the door behind him.

"Frank, did you bring shampoo and stuff, or shall we just use mine?"

He unzips the backpack and pulls out a couple of bottles.

"I have shampoo, and conditioner, but no body wash or anything."

You root around in your cabinet, finding a bottle with a label that contains words like sensitive and hypoallergenic.

"Vanilla and chamomile. Is that satisfactory for you, my princess?" you tease, grinning when Ava beams at you at the nickname.

You turn the water on and start to run the bath, trying to ignore the way you can feel Frankie's eyes on you as you bend over the tub.

"Bubbles, or no bubbles?" you ask, already knowing the answer. "Right. Stupid question."

"These tiles are hideous," Frankie says from behind you.

"Thank you, Frank. Appreciate it," you tease. "I'm gonna call a guy about getting it all retiled."

"What?"

"What?"

"Don't call a guy!"

"Why not?"

"I'll do it."

You look at him in confusion, before realising he's very serious.

"Do you... know how?"

"Hermosa, it's not rocket science. We can figure it out together."

You deliberate for a moment, looking at him carefully.

"Okay. As long as you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't."

You smile at him before leaving and disappearing downstairs for a minute, trusting Frankie to watch the water.

"Where did you go?" he asks on your return.

"I just put a towel in the dryer, so it's warm when she gets out of the tub."

Frankie steps over to you and cradles your face in his hands, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. He's always been good at that - saying so much without saying a word.

"Princesa, you need help?" you ask, laughing as she struggles, head stuck in her shirt.

Soon enough, Ava's sat happily in all the bubbles, splashing around in the warm water. You and Frankie sit on the floor next to the tub, legs tangled and bodies pressed together. You lean in and rest your head on his shoulder as he throws an arm around you.

"Thank you for this. Seriously. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"It's no problem, Frankie. I love seeing her. Wish I saw her more."

"Me too," he says quietly.

You look up at him, and grab his chin so he meets your eyes.

"You're a damn good Dad, Francisco Morales."

He goes to protest, but you cut him off.

"You are. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're doing a good job. I mean, look at her. She's happy, she's healthy, she loves you so much. What more could you ask for?"

Frankie stares at you for a moment.

"You're right."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Shut up," he laughs, dipping his hand into the bath water to splash you. You splash him back, and before you know it, the three of you are completely soaked. Completely happy.

You eventually get around to cleaning Ava's hair, shampooing and conditioning as carefully as you can. She loves the fact she gets to use your body wash, and slathers herself in it, making you both smile.

You wrap her in the dryer warm towel and sit her in your lap on the floor, rocking gently as she snuggles into your chest. Frankie pulls you both against him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. The three of you sit for a while, peaceful and content.

"I know I don't tell you enough," Frankie murmurs. "But I love you."

"You tell me everyday, Frankie."

"I do?"

"You don't always have to say it out loud, but I know. The way you smile at me across a room, the way you always have one eye on me when we're in public, the way you trust me with Ava. You tell me you love me in a million different ways, every single day."

"I love you," he says again, surer this time.

"I love you. Both of you. So much."

When Ava falls asleep in both of your arms, you convince them to stay the night. The next day, she can't stop telling everyone about the best sleepover ever, with her Dad and her best friend.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The Kitchen. Santiago.

You're completely in your own world. An upbeat, catchy melody hums from the radio and radiates around the room as you slide across the tiles in your socks. You grab your mixing bowl from the cabinet, picking up the bottle of vanilla extract too.

Your hips are swaying, head nodding, feet tapping along to the beat. The sunlight is beaming through the kitchen window, keeping the room bright and warm. There's flour covering every possible surface, sugar sprinkled over the counters. An array of bowls, cups and spoons litter the worktops - a visual representation of your efforts. You've barely even began baking, only just having measured your ingredients. You've set yourself up for an entire day of preparation, ready for the exciting occasion.

You're humming away to yourself, completely oblivious, when two hands plant themselves on your hips from behind. You shriek and throw your elbow backwards, connecting with the person's ribs. You spin around to face your attacker, only to be met with the sight of Santiago Garcia hunched over.

"Fuck!" he groans, clutching at his side.

"Shit! Santi, fuck. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Welcome home to me, I guess," he laughs breathlessly.

"Are you okay? Fuck, I'm so sorry, Santi. I thought you were an intruder or something. You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow!"

He smirks slowly, before winking at you.

"Surprise."

You finally calm your rapid heartbeat down enough to register what's happening. You grin at him, before running and jumping into his arms, holding onto him as tight as possible.

"I missed you so much," he breathes into your hair. "Four months is too long."

"I've been counting down the days," you whisper into his neck. "We all have."

He finally puts you down to take a good look at you.

"You look good, cariño. This dress is real pretty."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

He knows what.

"Looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"You're just full of questions today, aren't you?"

He laughs, twinkle in his eye. The sun has kissed his skin while he's been away. He looks tanned, glowy, alive.

"Last time you looked at me like that, we ended up naked in your hot tub."

"Good times, huh?"

"I hate you," you chuckle, smacking him on the arm.

Santi looks around, and takes in the scene before him. Ingredients scattered, bowls full, oven preheated.

"What are you making, cariño?"

You survey the kitchen quickly before answering.

"Nothing."

He smiles, Cheshire cat style.

"Nothing? You've measured everything out. The oven is on."

You're trying to figure out a way to cover this up, to make up a lie as fast as possible, but it's no use. He can see right through you. You might as well be transparent when it comes to the boys.

"I'm making you a cake," you mutter quickly under your breath.

"What was that? Hmm?"

You roll your eyes and scoff, but give him what he wants.

"I'm making you a cake."

He looks genuinely surprised, gentle smile gracing his face.

"You are?"

"Yeah. I wanted to do something special for you coming home. Tomorrow."

"Sorry, cariño. I didn't know I was coming back early. Thought I'd make the most of it and surprise you."

"Well, now your surprise cake and your surprise party aren't a surprise anymore."

"There's a party too?"

"Shit."

The two of you laugh as he slings an arm around your shoulder.

"Thank you, cariño. You didn't have to do all this for me."

"I wanted to. I'm so excited that you're back, Santi. There's so much I've missed doing with you."

"I made a list."

"Of?"

"Of things I wanted to do with you when I got back. It's what kept me going - thinking of going to that lunch spot with the sandwiches we like, our annual road trip to Cali. It kept me sane."

You turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You lean up and press your forehead to his, both of you exhaling. You stay tangled together for a long moment, enjoying each others long awaited company.

"You know what was on the top of my list, though?"

"What?"

"Painting your goddamn kitchen."

You laugh, pulling back to look at him incredulously.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly. This colour is fucking awful."

"It's not that bad."

"It's terrible."

"Fine, fine! Whatever you want, Santi. You can paint my kitchen if that's what your heart desires."

"It is," he grins. "I can think of nothing I want more. We'll do it this weekend."

"Okay," you smile. "Now, about this cake..."

"Can I help you?"

"I can think of nothing I want more."

"I love you," he tells you, stroking a thumb across your cheekbone.

"I love you too. So much, Santi."

The two of you spend the afternoon baking Santiago's cake, singing and dancing around the kitchen. You turn a blind eye to him licking the spoon and sticking his fingers in the icing. You're just glad to have him back, annoying you again.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The Bedroom. Will.

"Can you pass me that screwdriver please, honey?"

You would, but you can't take your eyes off the man currently kneeling on your bedroom floor. His chest is glistening with sweat, warm in the morning sun. The light illuminates the room in balmy hues of gold, shadows dancing across your faces.

You and Will agreed to dedicate today to building all of your flat pack furniture. You've been sleeping on the floor for weeks, and it's finally taken a toll on your back. So, Will showed up bright and early, ready to tackle your bed, dresser, nightstands, desk, and whatever else presented itself. You were barely awake, still in your pyjamas, sleep heavy in your veins. But the sight of Will, toolbox in hand and smile on his face? That's enough to motivate anyone to assemble furniture all day.

"Honey?"

"Shit, sorry. The green one?"

"Please."

He smirks at you like he's reading your dirty thoughts. He probably is, knowing him. If anyone you knew turned out to be telepathic, it'd be Will. You're convinced he was some sort of psychic in a past life.

"You okay over there?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You need a hand?"

"Come hold this up for me while I screw it in."

You shuffle over to sit next to him, leaning over to hold the piece he's gesturing towards. He's trying desperately not to look down your shirt, and you're trying desperately to ignore the way he smells like heaven.

"C'mere," he murmurs under his breath, scooting backwards so you can get closer to the bed frame. He grabs your hips and pulls you so you're sat between his legs, holding onto the wood steadily. He wraps his arms around you from behind and gets to drilling, placing the screws in perfect rows.

Every now and again, he stops to press a kiss into your hair, or onto your cheek. You smile every single time, heat creeping across your chest. He eventually changes his path, trailing the kisses down onto your neck, shoulders, back. You're breathing so heavily you wonder if you're about to pass out.

"I like this colour," he whispers into your ear.

It takes a moment for your mind to register what he said.

"...Hmm?"

"The colour on your walls. I like it."

"Oh," you murmur. "Santi helped me pick it. He was only gonna do the kitchen, but then we were on a roll, so we ended up painting every room in the house."

He chuckles, tightening his arms around you and encouraging you to relax. You lean back into him, resting your head on his firm shoulder.

"This place is really beautiful, you know," he says lowly. "It's so... you."

"Is that a good thing?"

"The best thing. Beautiful house for a beautiful girl."

"You're a smooth talker, Miller."

"I learned from the best."

The two of you sit intertwined for a while, reveling in the comfort the other person brings. After a while, Will speaks.

"Okay, strong girl, you wanna help me put the mattress onto it?"

You flex your biceps, making you both laugh.

"I mean, I could do it single handedly... but sure, I'll help you."

"That's my girl."

You both make light work of the mattress, picking it up and throwing it onto the frame effortlessly. Will helps you put on your sheets and pillows, standing back to admire his handiwork.

"We did a good job."

"You did a good job, Will. I just sat over there and stared at you the whole time."

"Thought I felt eyes on me," he laughs.

You don't know where it comes from, the sudden honesty. It creeps up your throat out of nowhere, clawing to escape.

"I'm always looking at you."

Will turns to look at you, confusion written across his face.

"No matter where we are, or what we're doing. The most interesting thing in the room is always you."

His features soften, gentle smile tugging at his lips. He strides towards you and cradles your face in his big hands.

"I love you," he tells you so sincerely it makes you want to cry.

"I love you, William Miller. My love for you is just so... overwhelming. Some days I just want to scream it from the rooftops. I don't know what else to do with it."

"Give it to me," he says without missing a beat.

"What?"

"All the love. Don't throw it into the abyss. Give it to me. I want it."

You grin at him, a bright, blinding thing. He reciprocates, before leaning down and smashing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Your knees give out from the sheer love he's kissing you with, both of you tumbling to the floor.

You pull his shirt over his head, exposing his gorgeous, sun soaked skin. He's so broad it makes you clench your thighs together. He tugs your shirt off and throws it across the room, paying no mind to where it lands. The two of you don't separate your lips for more than a second.

He's rutting his hips into yours, the friction making you dizzy. You try and push his jeans down, fingers fumbling with the button. He takes pity on you and shoves them down himself, adding them to the pile of clothes scattered across the room.

Will wastes no time, throwing his boxers behind him and pulling your underwear down your legs. He pushes into you with effortless ease, both of you ready and eager. You unanimously groan in relief, panting rapidly. You claw at his shoulders, leaning up to connect your lips.

"I love you," he whispers against your mouth, hips gliding into yours.

"I love you," you gasp, resting your forehead against his. "I love you I love you I love you."

Will slides a hand down your body to rub quick circles between your legs, dipping his tongue into your mouth as he does it. He's swallowing your moans, licking the whines from your lips. He can't get over how sweet they taste.

"Come for me, honey. Give it to me, good girl. That's it. Atta girl."

You back arches off the floor, nails scratching down his back. Your vision goes white, stars clouding your view. Will groans, deep and low, spilling into you. You both ride out your highs while Will murmurs sweet sentiments into your ear, against your skin, into your mouth.

He collapses onto you, smothering you with his weight. You don't mind. Every part of your body is touching a part of his, and it still isn't close enough. It'll never be close enough. You could sew yourself into his ribcage, and you'd still want to be closer to his heart.

The only sounds that can be heard are two sets of heaving lungs. When you've snapped back to reality, you thread your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails across his scalp and smiling when he leans into your touch.

"Will?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Why did you just build me a bed, and then fuck me on the floor?"

He takes a moment to register what you've said, before breaking out into contagious laughter. He's vibrating against you, both of you high on each others company.

"I didn't even think," he wheezes. "Fuck, we're idiots."

"You can say that again," you chuckle. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Will rolls off and lies next to you, linking his fingers with yours.

"You ready to keep building?"

As much as you'd happily stay where you are forever, it would be nice to have actual furniture in your bedroom.

"Let's do it," you say as you sit up.

You scramble around for your clothes, both of you beaming at each other as you get dressed. You walk over and wrap your arms around his neck, looking up at him.

"I can't wait for you to move in."

He grins at you, pecking your lips.

"I can't wait either. Two more months and my lease is up. Then you're stuck with me forever, honey."

"I wouldn't say stuck. More like the luckiest girl in the world."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Shut up," you laugh, grabbing the toolbox. "Let's build our furniture, shall we?"

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"You've made this place really beautiful, you guys."

"Beautiful house for a beautiful girl," Will grins at you across the table.

"Ugh, I hate when they do that," Benny complains.

"Do what?"

"Look at each other like that. It's like they're communicating through their minds, or something."

"We're silently talking about you, dipshit," Will teases, jabbing his brother in the side.

"Before the Millers kill each other, we bought you a present, hermosa. Think of it as a one year housewarming gift."

Frankie hands you a large rectangular parcel, wrapped carefully. You rip open the paper, discovering a large, ornate picture frame. In it, is your favourite picture in the world.

You and Will's first dance.

Frankie had taken the picture, unbeknownst to the two of you. You're both swaying to the music, arms wrapped around your husband's neck, completely lost in each other. Around you, the lights twinkle as your closest friends and family look on in awe.

"Frankie," you breathe. "Thank you. All of you. I love it so much."

"We thought you could hang it above your fireplace," Santiago offers. "In that big empty space."

"It's perfect," Will agrees.

"It's like the final piece of the puzzle," you whisper. "Now our home feels complete."

You trace your fingers over the frame, overwhelmed with adoration for the four boys staring back at you.

"I love you all," you tell them, glancing around the table. "So much."

"Love you, hermosa."

"Love you too, cariño."

"Love ya, baby!"

"I love you, honey."

The chorus makes you beam so bright, you're convinced your smile can be seen from space.

@kmc1989 @modernperplexity @sia2raw @pimosworld

[tainsan]

misfits XI

⇥ pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

⇥ warnings: mentions of suicide, mentions of therapy, self deprication, mature scene but it's not crazy

⇥ word count: 9.5k

⇥ a/n: okay i know you have all been looking foward to this chapter, it is an intense one and i hope yall finally enjoy some much needed romantic tension ;-;

⇥ this chapter is for my wife @l0vetiny, ilysm!!!

⇢ masterlist ⇠

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--- THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

Resting in your room, you stand at the crossroads of your emotions, torn between the familiarity of cherished friendships and the allure of a potential romantic relationship. The idea of taking that leap excites and terrifies you, as it means venturing into uncharted territory with people you've known and admired for years.

Whenever you look at your group of friends, you can't help but feel a tinge of envy towards their popularity. They seem to effortlessly navigate social situations and grab attention wherever they go. Would you be able to handle the spotlight that inevitably comes with being associated with them in a romantic capacity? You know about their jealous fans, and the attention you would most definitely receive upon starting a relationship. Not to mention the rumours and bad words that would be spread once someone finds out you aren’t just in a relationship with one of them, yet all of them.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you know that building it anew on different grounds will be a crucial step. In the depths of your heart, you yearn for something more with them, to explore a connection that goes beyond friendship. Their laughter, the inside jokes you share, and the way they understand you have always made your heart skip a beat. Yet, the fear of jeopardising your bond keeps you hesitating, wondering if you can afford to risk what you already have.

You battle with your own insecurities, questioning whether you're ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that a romantic relationship might bring. Are you enough? Can you handle the weight of their expectations? The prospect of letting them down frightens you, and you're afraid of losing not only a romantic partner but also your close friends.

The truth is, you think you want this relationship, yet you acknowledge that timing is everything. The decision weighs heavily on you, and you need to be certain in your heart before taking the plunge. You owe it to yourself and to them to be genuine, vulnerable, and ready to embrace the changes this choice will bring.

You decide to step away from your bed for a moment, feeling the weight of your emotions overwhelming you. Making your way to the bathroom, you start your nighttime routine, pausing for a few seconds to look at the bottle of moisturiser, bringing a flood of thoughts of Yunho to your head. 

Yunho has changed so much since the day you first saw him in the kitchen. His transformation has been quite remarkable. You can't help but reflect on how he's evolved since your trip to the store for your moisturiser. Initially, he appeared rude, his demeanour shrouded in a kind of icy reserve. It was almost as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

However, as time passed, you noticed the shift in his demeanour. When you went to the furniture store together, it was like the walls he'd built around himself were slowly coming down. Yunho's newfound warmth towards you is reminiscent of the time from your high school days, when you sought refuge from the troubles at home and found peace in the warehouse, where he discovered you alone.

Back then, you were both navigating the challenges of adolescence, and life had already presented you with your fair share of hardships. It was in those moments of solitude, away from the chaos of your respective lives, that you forged a unique connection. Yunho, with his quiet strength and understanding, had become a source of comfort and support during those difficult times.

The memories of those moments still linger, etched in the corners of your mind. Now, as you both find yourselves facing the complexities of adulthood, it's heartening to see that the genuine care and compassion that existed between you during those formative years has resurfaced.

Since the heart-to-heart conversation in the kitchen, where the weight of secrets were finally lifted, Yunho has transformed before your eyes. He's become someone almost unfamiliar to you, but in the most delightful way.

It's as if the depths of your conversation unleashed a new side of him, a side that perhaps he had kept hidden or hadn't fully embraced until now. The Yunho you're getting to know is a true gentleman, a man who takes the time to say sweet things to you, even if his cheeks and ears turn a delightful shade of crimson in the process.

Shaking off the thoughts you look into the mirror, peering at your reflection with a mix of uncertainty and self-doubt. As you gaze at yourself, a flood of insecurities surfaces. You scrutinise every detail, the lines on your face, the curve of your lips, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. Negative thoughts swirl in your mind like a tempest, questioning whether you're worthy of love from such amazing individuals.

You wonder if they see the same flaws you do, if they'll be disappointed when they look at you more closely, or if they'll realise you're not as perfect as they might have thought. It's a daunting prospect to believe that someone could genuinely care for you, especially when surrounded by a circle of friends who seem to radiate charm and confidence.

The fear of rejection and judgement gnaws at you, threatening to sabotage the happiness you yearn for. You can't help but compare yourself to them, feeling like you're an outsider in their world of popularity and allure. It's as if a little voice inside your head tells you that you'll never truly belong, that you're not good enough to deserve their love and affection.

Tears blur your vision as you try to silence the self-criticism, the lingering doubts that seem to echo through your mind. You question whether you'll ever be ready for a relationship with them, wondering if your insecurities will push them away, destroying the friendship you hold so dear.

Moving yourself from the bathroom, you attempt to find a moment of peace to collect your thoughts. Finding refuge in the comfort of your bedroom, you close the bathroom door behind you and sit down on the floor in the centre of the room, feeling the weight of hesitation settling upon your shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, you're confronted by a flood of thoughts about your mental health issues, trauma, and the complex needs you carry within you. The struggle with anxiety, the lingering effects of past experiences, and the emotional scars that sometimes feel too heavy to bear; they all come rushing back, demanding your attention.

In the midst of this emotional whirlwind, a surge of doubt grips you. You begin to question if the boys you have grown to love, who seem to have it all together, would truly be capable of handling the intricacies of your mental health journey. Would they understand when anxiety creeps in, leaving you paralyzed with fear? Could they be patient and supportive when the shadows of your past cast their long shadows over your present?

It's an agitated storm of self-doubt, wondering if your needs might be too much for them to bear. The fear of burdening them with your struggles gnaws at your heart, and you find yourself grappling with the thought that you might not be deserving of their love and care. You so desperately wish to be happy, and the happiness you feel when you are around the boys is stronger than you have ever felt before. You definitely need to talk to Jisung about this, his advice always seeming to relieve the pressure off your heavy heart.

Today you only expected to confront the eight men about the past, finding out answers and you seem to have got more than you bargained for. One part of you is glad you know their affections towards you, yet one half is torn from having to make the decision.

With your room being shrouded in darkness, the only source of light being the faint moonlight filtering through the curtains, you try to relax on the floor, your knees pulled close to your chest, surrounded by the whirlwind of emotions swirling within. You know you should be getting to bed, sleeping for the next day which holds lectures withholding important information. Time seems to stand still as you replay the heartfelt words spoken by the eight men. 

Amidst the turmoil of your mind, there is a sudden knock on your door. Startled, you glance at the entrance, your heart pounding in your chest. Hesitating to answer, the door slowly creaks open for you, revealing the silhouette of Seonghwa standing there, his expression mirroring the same restlessness that is keeping you awake.

“Can I come in?” Seonghwa quietly asks, scared to be turned down, yet as he sees the gentle smile and nod cover your features, accepting the invitation, the man makes his way in. Stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, his presence brings both comfort and a further storm to your heart, as the confession resurfaces in your mind.

"Mingi and I just got back from managing the bar, but I can't sleep," Seonghwa says softly, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

His honesty only deepens the emotional turbulence inside. You are grappling with the same uncertainty, the same fear of what the future may hold.

“Come sit with me,” you say, hoping he will relax next to you.

As he settles down beside you on the floor, there is a moment of silence, both of you lost in your own thoughts. The room is filled with a mixture of emotions – the lines of friendship blurring before your eyes.

“You don't find it weird do you?” Seonghwa says breaking the heavy tension that suddenly coated the room.

“Find what weird?” You question, not sure as to what Seonghwa is asking.

“Us being together, as nine.”

You realise Seonghwa is inquiring about the group's dynamic and relationship. 

“Not really…” you start, not knowing if you should disclose your worries with Seonghwa, yet when you see the pleading look on his features, you feel your walls breaking, “honestly I'm just worrying whether I'll fit in, you guys are so close. I don't know if I will be able to be good enough for you guys.” You admit, feeling slightly embarrassed to be admitting such information.

“___,” Seonghwa says your name softly, feeling awfully upset you would even think you weren't good enough to be with them. “You are perfect for us, you don't need to worry about anything. There is nothing you could ever do that would make us think you don't belong with us. If anything, we don't deserve you. The kindness you have shown us, despite the rumours, despite everything has shown us enough. Whether it is with us or not, we just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy.”

Gently, you cast a grateful glance towards Seonghwa, feeling a rush of emotions as his words wash over you. They bring both comfort and solace, embracing you in a tender embrace of understanding and support. It stays silent for a while as you let his words touch your heart. 

“I’m doing better…” Seonghwa says, once again breaking the silence and you wonder as to why he suddenly uttered those specific words.

When you shoot him a perplexed glance, Seonghwa responds with a soft chuckle, sensing your confusion. He then proceeds to clarify his statement with a reassuring tone.

“Back when you found me on the rooftop…” Seonghwa trails off as he sees the way you hold your breath reminiscing the night, he relaxes slightly as you nod at him to continue, ignoring the sudden surge of negative emotions clouding your vision. 

“The boys encouraged me to seek help. I was feeling so lost and overwhelmed, like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But I took that first step, and it changed everything. My therapist helped me understand myself on a level I never thought possible,” Seonghwa pauses, trying to gauge your reaction.

“I’m so happy for you Seonghwa, truly. That is amazing.” Seonghwa helping himself, becoming better and finally feeling alive truly brings happiness to your soul. 

“When I heard you were in this school, I was really nervous at first, I was scared you were going to see me as the guy from high school who was constantly bothering you.”

Seonghwa huckles along with you, the shared laughter carries the weight of old memories and newfound understanding. You can't help but reminisce about the times when Seonghwa would follow you around school like a loyal companion, a testament to his friendship, even if it did sometimes border on being a little bothersome.

“I was worried you were going to be a different person completely, but when I saw you again for the first time in years, even though you have changed physically, you were definitely still the same.”

“What do you mean?” You question, not sure what his words mean.

“Your laugh, your voice, your humour, your kindness, your eyes. They are all the same as back then. But your eyes, they are brighter now, happier. You are just as, if not, even more, beautiful.” Seonghwa admits, “I don’t think I can lose you again.”

Silence falls upon the two of you as you let the tender words of the man in front of you sink in. The words of love play with your heartstrings, making your end decision even more daunting.

"I don't know what to do," you finally whisper, your voice breaking and Seonghwa immediately realises you are speaking of the confession and proposition, “I like you, all of you, yet it just seems so fast, so new.”

Seonghwa listens to your confession and when he senses the depth of your reciprocated feelings, a whirlwind of emotions engulfs him. He feels like he's floating on cloud nine, as if he's on the brink of something incredibly special and profound. Your words have touched him in a way that nothing else ever has. It's a feeling of euphoria, knowing that the person he cares about so deeply shares those same sentiments.

However, beneath this elation, he also senses the subtle undercurrent of fear and hesitation in you. It's completely understandable after so many years of being apart. The prospect of starting a new chapter, especially one as significant as a romantic relationship, can indeed be daunting. Seonghwa empathises with your feelings entirely.

Yet, despite the uncertainty and the challenges that lie ahead, he can't help but yearn for your affection and the chance to call you his own. The connection you share, one that has spanned years and endured the test of time, is something he cherishes deeply.

In Seonghwa's chest, his heart beats with a mixture of excitement and patience. He knows that these things take time, and he's willing to take it one step at a time with you, ensuring that you both feel comfortable and secure in whatever path you choose to explore. For now, he's content with the knowledge that the feelings are mutual, and he's looking forward to seeing where this newfound chapter of your connection will lead.

Seonghwa instinctively reaches for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring, yet as you remember the confession once more, the action of affection makes your reaction extreme, your cheeks heating up, your heart racing faster than usual. 

"We don't have to figure it all out right now," he says gently. "Let's take our time. We'll figure it out together."

“It’s just… I’m still trying to process that you guys are still alive, now I have something else to think about, it all seems too much.”

Seonghwa continues to listen to you and he can almost feel the waves of unease radiating from your very being. It's a raw and vulnerable moment, and he wishes deeply that he could find a way to ease the emotional storm surging behind your eyes.

Unconsciously, his fingers begin to play with yours tenderly. It's a small, comforting gesture, a silent reassurance that he's here, he's present, and he's ready to support you in whatever way you need.

At this moment, Seonghwa isn't focused on any hurry or pressure to define your relationship. Instead, he's fully attuned to your emotions, your concerns, and your hesitations. He knows that sometimes, the most valuable thing he can offer is his patient understanding and unwavering support.

“I’m sorry for not finding you sooner.” He finally speaks, his voice starting to break as he feels his throat tighten up, “I was so lost without you.”

The moment Seonghwa utters those words, you can hear the raw emotion in his voice, and you can see the sincerity in his eyes. His admission that he was lost without you hits you deeply, and it's impossible not to feel the depth of his emotions. The warmth of your touch is a silent reassurance, letting him know that you understand that you've also carried your own share of longing and uncertainty.

"I'm here now," you say softly, your voice filled with understanding and compassion. "Sometimes life takes us on different paths, but we find our way back to the people who matter most."

Seonghwa's eyes glisten with unshed tears, and he nods, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. In this moment of shared vulnerability, you both find comfort in each other's presence, knowing that the past is behind you and the future is filled with possibility.

“Seonghwa,” You begin to call the man’s name, recognising the way he is starting to succumb to his emotions.

“There is not a single day that went by without us regretting leaving you. We just had to make sure it was safe for you before we came back.”

His heartfelt words pierce your heart, leaving your mind a mess.

“It’s okay, I’m here now. I won’t leave you, any of you.”

In the hushed stillness of the room, you raise the hand that was resting underneath his, to delicately caress Seonghwa's cheek, cupping it tenderly. Your touch is gentle, like a soothing relief to his heartache. With a soft stroke of your thumb, you wipe away the tears cascading down his beautiful face, a gesture of comfort that speaks volumes.

When you reach your other hand to cup his entire face, the sensation sends shivers down his spine. The tenderness of your touch makes his heart race with a mixture of emotions. It feels like it has been an eternity since he felt the warmth of your hands on his skin, and in this moment, it feels like an unsaid accomplishment, a connection he had yearned for, an action he has only seen in his dreams, finally being a reality brings warmth to his entire soul.

Tears continue to fall from his eyes, but your presence, your touch, makes him feel seen and understood in a way he has never imagined, yet he no longer knows if the tears are from sorrow or pure happiness. It's as if the weight of his emotions can finally be shared, knowing that you are there to offer solace and support. In the quiet intimacy of this moment, he finds himself silently thanking fate for bringing him to your room tonight.

The world seems to fade away as Seonghwa places his hands gently on top of yours, his touch sending a rush of warmth through your entire being. In this tender moment, you become highly aware of the intimate proximity between the two of you. Your faces mere inches apart, and as you lock eyes with him, time seems to stand still.

Despite the urge to move away, your body seems to have a will of its own, keeping you locked in this position. It's as if the universe conspired to bring you together in this moment, and you find yourself unable to resist the magnetic pull drawing you closer to him.

The softness of his gaze, the way his eyes seem to hold a world of unspoken emotions, leaves you captivated. In this delicate embrace, you feel a sense of vulnerability, as if a barrier that once separated you has been lifted, allowing your hearts to commune in a profound and intimate way.

The air around you is charged with unspoken desires and untamed emotions. Your heart races, torn between the familiarity of friendship and the allure of something more. There is a soft tension in the air, like a dance between two souls on the precipice of a love that has been silently blooming.

Continuing to gaze into each other's eyes, the depth of your connection becomes undeniable. It's a moment of reckoning, where you know you must confront the feelings that have been swirling within you both. Yet, in this suspended moment, the fear of the unknown fades, replaced by serene acceptance of the present.

In this captivating scene, you allow yourself to be immersed in the depth of your emotions, knowing that there is also beauty in the uncertainty, in the uncharted territories of the heart. As you share this intimate space with Seonghwa, you feel a sense of wonder, a willingness to explore the unspoken desires that have led you to this enchanting moment.

As the air crackles with unspoken desires, a gentle breeze seems to sweep through the room, carrying an air of anticipation. Neither of you can deny the magnetic pull drawing you closer, and in this intimate moment, you both surrender to the unspoken feelings that have been lingering between you.

“____,” Seonghwa calls your name softly, gazing deeply into your eyes, “I don’t know if I can live without you.”

Staying silent, you aren’t too sure how to respond, the heaviness of the confession making you too flustered to respond.

“You don’t have to say anything, I just needed you to know.”

Seonghwa's hands remain atop yours, his touch a comforting anchor as you lean in ever so slightly.

“Hwa.” You catch the man’s attention with the old nickname, making his heart race even quicker in his chest. Feeling confident, you slowly start to close the gap between your lips, until they are just a breath away from each other. 

“Can I…” Seonghwa begins before taking a deep, nervous breath in, “kiss you?” Seonghwa whispers, centimetres away from your lips. It takes you less than a few seconds to reply, even though your heart is beating out of your chest, you gently accept. 

With a mix of nervousness and excitement, you close your eyes, savouring the tingling anticipation that courses through your veins.In this suspended moment, time ceases to exist as your lips finally meet in a tender kiss. It's a soft and hesitant exploration, as if both of you are testing the waters of this new intimacy. The touch of his lips against yours sends a quake of delight down your spine, igniting a warmth in your heart that you can't quite put into words. His lips are soft as they move slowly against yours, testing the waters, seeing what you are comfortable with.

Instinctively your bodies draw closer, seeking relief in each other's embrace. The world outside fades away as you lose yourselves in the intoxicating taste of his plump lips. Finding yourself getting drunk off of the way his lips feel against yours, you hesitantly pull away, scared that you will fall in too deep, or make Seonghwa uncomfortable with the sudden rush of love and lust that you begin to feel.

Pulling away, your eyes meet once again with Seonghwa’s brown ones, and you are shocked by the sight. His usual round, soft eyes, now blown out and hooded, an indescribable emotion coursing through his veins.

Before you can utter a single word, you find yourself enveloped in Seonghwa's embrace, his strong arms securely wrapping around your waist as he effortlessly lifts you onto his lap. Your legs settle on either side of his body, the soft carpet cushioning your knees as your chest presses flat against his. The closeness of your bodies sends a surge of electricity through you, and yet, there is an overwhelming sense of comfort in this intimate position.

Gazing into Seonghwa's eyes, you see a mix of desire, lust and tenderness reflected in his gaze. He's careful to gauge your reaction, making sure you are comfortable with this new closeness. Without hesitation, you offer him a reassuring smile, your heart pounding with excitement and anticipation.

When his lips find yours once more, and this time the kiss is less gentle, Seonghwa’s tongue poking at the entrance of your mouth, and you feel an unspoken longing and passion. It's a connection that feels natural and familiar, as if your souls have been searching for this closeness all along. The way his warm lips caress yours is powerful, and you find yourself melting into the embrace, savouring the sensation of being so close to him. The kiss becomes messy as you allow his tongue to enter your mouth, dancing together as you press your body closely against his. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around Seonghwa’s neck, tilting your head to further deepen the intense kiss.

Seonghwa's arms encircle you, holding you close as if he never wants to let go. The world around you seems to fade away, and all that matters is the intimacy of this moment and the way his lips fit so perfectly against yours, the way his touch makes you feel cherished, adored, and hot, so hot.

As the kiss deepens, the boundaries between friendship and something more blur, and you realise that this is a connection that goes beyond labels and definitions. It's a love that defies explanation, a bond that has been quietly growing between you for years.

Seonghwa's touch ignites a fire within you, and you find yourself craving more of his affection, his warmth, his love. It's a feeling that is both thrilling and comforting, like coming home to the one person who understands you in a way no one else can.

His arms begin to rub up and down your back, gently passing underneath your night shirt and landing on your bare hips, gently caressing the bare skin. The warmth of his hands causes a small gasp to emit from your throat, jolting you slightly, making your hips rub gently against Seonghwa’s crotch.

“Fuck, angel.” Seonghwa's low groan reverberates through both of you, the sudden nickname sending shivers down your spine, straight to your core. The way he pulls you even closer, wrapping his arms, still underneath your shirt, tightly around your waist, creates an intoxicating sensation that leaves you breathless. Your skin pressed against his feels like a perfect fit, as if you were always meant to be in this embrace. The raw intimacy of the moment leaves both of you feeling lost in a whirlwind of emotions and sensations.

Seonghwa pulls away from your lips, and you are about to protest, yet the complaints die in your throat as his lips trail to the curve of your neck causing your heart to race, your senses heightened by every touch. He peppers small kisses down the curve of your neck, gently nibbling on the flesh.

The world around you fades into the background, and all that exists is you and Seonghwa. His hands explore the contours of your body with a gentleness that contrasts with the intensity of his desires. Every caress and every whisper of his breath against your skin ignites a fire within you, and you find yourself surrendering to the passion that courses through your veins.

“Seonghwa,” you whisper, your voice almost getting caught in your throat.

“Yes, angel?” Seonghwa mutters against the skin of your neck.

Unconsciously, the nickname causes you to move your hips against the males, desperately wanting a reaction from him. The deep groan that reverberates from his throat leaves you both satisfied and craving for more simultaneously.

“___,” Seonghwa stutters out, the sudden boldness of your movements leaving his head spinning, “we should stop,” 

Pulling away slowly, you give him a worried look, hoping dreadfully you haven't crossed a boundary. Seonghwa gently chuckles at the cute look on your face.

Pinching your cheek softly, he speaks again, “we just started, I want to take my time with you.”

Seonghwa's statement washes over you like a gentle wave, stirring up a delightful mix of excitement and nervousness that sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Without hesitation, he draws you close once more, enveloping you in a comforting embrace that radiates warmth and affection. As you rest your head in the crook of his neck, you find yourself basking in the tender intimacy of the moment, cherishing the precious connection you share.

“You should get to sleep, we are going shopping early tomorrow.” Seonghwa’s deep voice reverberates in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Are we going shopping?” You question, feeling a sudden rush of sleepiness overcoming your senses. 

Nuzzling your head even closer into the crook of Seonghwa's neck, you sense the gentle thump of his heart escalating, mirroring the accelerated rhythm of your own. Although you can’t see it, Seonghwa’s cheeks are a blazing hot shade of red as he tries to calm himself from going further. He realises that pushing you to do something when you're already confused is not the right option. As much as Seonghwa wishes to take you, claim you right here, like he has been dreaming for years, he waits patiently, not wanting to overwhelm you. The lingering effect of the shared kiss intensifies the moment, making it all the more electrifying and unforgettable.

"Let's get you to bed, angel," Seonghwa whispers tenderly, his hold around your waist tightening as he firmly presses your body against his own, lifting you both effortlessly from the floor. Your legs instinctively coil around his waist, and as he carries you towards the bed, the red blush intensifies on Seonghwa's cheeks, his heart racing with every step. The intimate closeness and the warmth of the moment leave him adorably flustered, but his focus remains on ensuring your comfort and care.

Tucking you in the blankets, he sits by the side of your bed, watching your weary form with a violent blush  and a wide smile covering his entire face. 

"Goodnight, Seonghwa," you mumble softly, settling into the cosy embrace of your pillow. Witnessing your endearing gesture, Seonghwa feels his heart swell with affection, amazed at how he could fall even deeper for you, a feeling he once thought was impossible. As he watches over you, he can't help but feel grateful for the precious moments shared and the special connection that continues to grow between the two of you. With a gentle smile, he lingers for a moment, savouring the sight of you before finally whispering his own goodnight, his heart full of fondness and admiration. Departing from your bedroom with a satisfied smile on his face, Seonghwa heads straight for his bathroom, desperately needing a cold shower to calm his thoughts of you situated in his lap, looking so pretty. He definitely needs to clear those thoughts before he finds himself running back to your bedroom.

----

The soft morning light gently filters through the curtains, causing you stir from your slumber, a warm and blissful feeling spreading through your entire being. You can't help but smile as the memory of the tender kiss you shared with Seonghwa last night floods your mind, filling you with a sense of giddiness and butterflies in your stomach. The way his lips touched yours lingers in your thoughts, leaving you feeling loved and cherished.

With a contented sigh, you stretch your limbs beneath the soft sheets and sit up, the room enveloped in a soft glow that seems to match the radiance in your heart. You can't wait to see your roommates, to share the joy of this morning with them and bask in the warmth of their presence.

Getting up from your bed, the floor feels cool against your feet, contrasting with the warmth in your heart. You take your time getting ready, savouring each moment as you brush your hair and wash your face. There's an air of excitement and anticipation building within you, eager to embrace the day ahead and the company of your dear roommates.

Making your way to the kitchen, the aroma of breakfast fills the air, and your senses are treated to a delightful feast. To your delight, all eight of your friends are gathered at the counter, and you can't help but notice that they all look particularly handsome today, their smiles radiant and welcoming. You aren't sure if it is because of their confession yesterday, or if they always look this good, but something has changed. The sight of them all waiting for you warms your heart, and you feel a mix of gratitude and affection for each member of the group. It's a feeling of belonging and togetherness that washes over you, reinforcing the deep bond you share with them.

Unconsciously, you gravitate towards Seonghwa, the events of last night still at the front of your mind, who beams at your approach with that charming smile that has a way of melting your heart. His eyes light up when he sees you, and the affection in his gaze makes you feel like the most cherished person in the world. 

When you get close to him, he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, causing a small yelp of surprise to leave your mouth, the action catching you off guard making you feel awfully warm in the face.

What surprises you is that neither of the seven men around you even flinch, though they send a questioning look to Seonghwa who just gently shrugs, an amused, smug expression gracing his features as he holds you close to him, addicted to the way your body feels against him. 

Unbeknownst to you, yesterday night was very difficult for Seonghwa. In the quiet hours after your time together, his thoughts were consumed by an intense longing. The memory of your closeness lingered, and his yearning for the touch of your body against his became almost overwhelming. Throughout the night, a compelling desire took hold of him, urging him to find any possible way to feel your presence once more. 

He found himself on the brink of leaving his own room multiple times, his heart urging him to seek the physical connection he so deeply carved from you. Each time, he would pull back, reminding himself of the boundaries and the need to respect your space. It was a struggle that played out repeatedly throughout the night, a battle between his longing and his determination to be patient and considerate. Yet now you are here, with your consent, he doesn't feel the need to hold back, wanting to touch you in any way possible.

When you take your seat at the counter, you can't help but notice a bowl of your favourite breakfast waiting for you, a thoughtful gesture from Wooyoung that fills you with warmth. The gesture speaks volumes of the care and consideration your friends have for you, and you feel incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by such loving and attentive individuals.

“I hope it tastes nice.” Wooyoung says, a shy tone to his voice that has you surprised, wondering where his usual flirty, playful self is.

"I'm sure it's lovely, Woo," you reply with a playful tone, using the endearing nickname that sends delightful shivers cascading down Wooyoung's spine. The affectionate term fills his chest with pride and joy, revelling in the fact that you chose a cute name to address him. The sweet exchange between the two of you leaves Wooyoung with a heartwarming sense of happiness and admiration for you.

Munching away on the food, you allow yourself to completely relax as the flavours of the food warm and caress your tongue.

"Are you coming to the mall with us today?" Yeosang is situated on the other side of you and asks in a hushed tone, his eyes filled with hope as he awaits your response. Meanwhile, the other seven members are deeply engrossed in a somewhat serious yet lighthearted debate about whether butts are considered as two or one. Despite their lively discussion, Yeosang remains focused on your answer, eager for you to join them on the outing.

"Yes, I think so. I desperately need some new clothes," you reply with a smile, feeling the warmth of Yeosang’s undivided attention as he turns his entire body towards you, clearly focused on your words. The genuine interest he shows in your plans for the day brings a sense of connection, making you even more eager to spend time with the group. Excitement builds as you look forward to the fun outing with your friends, hoping it will be a memorable day spent together.

Yet something suddenly nags at your mind, causing you to feel a little vulnerable. “Aren't you worried about being seen with me in public? I don't think people would be happy with me being around you.”

“We don't care what people think, you are one of us.” he says, his tone soft as he peers at your flustered reaction, a smile graces his face.

You feel a rush of flustered emotions as you notice Yeosang's gaze lingering on your lips before returning to your eyes. The memory of the kiss shared with Seonghwa last night briefly crosses your mind, sparking curiosity about what it might be like to kiss the others. However, you quickly push those thoughts away, not wanting to get carried away and get your hopes up too high.

Yeosang, seemingly pleased with your reaction, gently smirks before turning back to the group. Little does he know, his actions have left you feeling even more flustered. As you watch him, you can't help but wonder how he might flirt with you and what that could lead to. The possibility of such interactions excites you, but you also remind yourself to be cautious and not read too much into it.

In his own silent moment, Yeosang decides to take some pointers from Wooyoung on flirting, hoping to make you smile and blush like this forever. The prospect of seeing your cute flustered face becomes a delightful goal, one he can't wait to achieve.

----

The late morning sun casts a golden glow on the bustling streets as you and your roommates step out of the white house. Due to the large shopping mall being a short walk away, the nine of you decide to walk there to enjoy the warm sun, the excitement in the air is palpable. You had mentioned that you needed some new clothes, and the eight men were more than eager to join you on this shopping adventure.

Walking to the mall turned out to be quite the amusing experience. As the group strolled along, you found yourself at the back, flanked by Wooyoung and San, who adamantly refused to let anyone else take their spot next to you. Their sweet insistence brought a warm blush to your cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel flattered by their attention.

Seonghwa and Mingi, not ones to back down easily, bickered with Wooyoung and San, each vying for the chance to be by your side during the walk there. The friendly competition for your company added a playful dynamic to the group, and even Hongjoong couldn't resist getting involved, trying to mediate the situation.

In the end, Hongjoong managed to calm the playful dispute, promising Seonghwa, Mingi, and the others that they could take turns to walk with you on the way back home. Although the rest of the group may have been sulking slightly at not being able to be next to you now, they all understood the importance of sharing the time with you and were happy to have their chance later.

Arriving at the grand entrance of the shopping mall, your eyes widen in awe. The place is massive, with countless stores, boutiques, and displays that promise a shopping experience like no other. You are not able to contain your excitement and feel a flutter of anticipation in your chest.

Strolling through the mall, the group seems to split into smaller clusters, each one of your roommates offering to accompany you to different sections based on your fashion preferences. 

“Are you guys sure you don't need anything?” You question for the third time as they refuse to look in any shop that you walk past.

Upon hearing a chorus of playful "no's" filling the air, you can't help but roll your eyes with a mixture of amusement and affection. Their stubbornness to stay by your side, despite knowing it makes your heart race, only serves to make you appreciate their care and attention even more. It's endearing to see how much they value being with you, and while their determination might fluster you, it also warms your heart to know how cherished you are within the group.

When you reach a particular clothing store, which you usually shop at, you are happy to see they have sales on a lot of clothes. Making your way in, you giggle at the way the eight aimlessly follow you in. They disperse slightly, looking at many different clothing racks, searching for something that would suit you, or something they would like to see you wearing.

Wandering through the racks of clothes, you notice Wooyoung seems particularly focused. He keeps scanning the dresses with a determined expression, occasionally pulling one off the rack to examine it closely. It's clear that he's on a mission, and you can't help but wonder what he's up to.

"Hey, Wooyoung, find anything interesting?" you question, curious about his intent.

Wooyoung turns to you with a mischievous grin, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Oh, just looking for something special," he replies cryptically.

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by his mysterious response. The boys exchange knowing glances, clearly in on whatever plan Wooyoung has hatched. It seems as if they have a small mission in their minds.

A little while later, Wooyoung finally emerges from the racks of dresses, triumphantly holding one up for you to see. "Look! This would look stunning on you," Wooyoung, exclaims, holding up a beautiful black dress that caught his eye. It definitely isn't your style, so you wonder as to why he would ask you to try it on.

You examine the short, form-fitting dress that Wooyoung kindly offered, you realise it's not your usual style, and you feel hesitant about trying it on, especially since it's on the sexier side and not something you'd typically wear. Before you can politely decline, San appears at your side, expressing his agreement with Wooyoung's suggestion. He wraps an arm around your shoulder in a tender gesture, encouraging you to give it a try while also assuring you that it's entirely your choice.

Touched by their compliments and support, you gently accept the dress, feeling grateful for their thoughtfulness. With a slightly doubtful smile, you make your way to the changing room, and to your surprise, you notice that all of them follow you eagerly, clearly invested in how you'll look in the dress. 

“Guys you don't all need to come.” You exclaim, chuckling at their eagerness, “it’s just a dress.”

“We have never seen you in a dress before,” Mingi replies, an adorable pout on his face, the others agreeing with him. Chuckling again, you turn around to walk into the changing room. Inside the changing room, you slip into the dress, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. You realise this must've been their plan and you chuckle to yourself at the thought of them conspiring for this very moment. It gives you a boost of confidence knowing they are eager to see you dressed up nicely.

Standing in the changing room, you find yourself struggling to reach the zipper on the back of the dress, you let out a small groan of frustration. You contemplate taking the dress off and giving up on the idea of trying it on. However, in that moment, a mischievous idea crosses your mind, and a playful smirk appears on your face.

Deciding to have a little fun with the situation, you poke your head out of the changing room, leaving the zipper undone deliberately and you see eight faces waiting patiently. 

You gently call out to the men outside, "Hey, I might need a little help here."

San, Wooyoung, and the others glance your way, and their eyes widen when they notice your insinuations. Instantly, they catch on to your playful game, and a mischievous glint appears in their eyes as well.

Wooyoung quickly volunteers, stepping forward with a grin, "I'll help!"

The others slightly grumble, falling back into their seats as you allow Wooyoung to make his way into the changing room, where you hold up the dress with your arms. Noticing the way Wooyoung's eyes are chasing your form up and down, you feel a surge of confidence rush through your body. Maybe trying on this dress wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

With a teasing smile, you turn around, allowing Wooyoung to reach for the zipper. As his fingers brush against your bare back while he gently pulls up the zipper, a shiver runs down your spine, and you can't help but exchange a knowing look with him through the mirror. When his eyes meet yours, you notice the dark look coating his eyes, making your knees feel weak. 

“How does it look?” You whisper, suddenly feeling a little insecure at how tight the dress is. 

Wooyoung's fingers glide slowly from the zipper of the dress to your hips, where he gently pulls you closer against his body, his chest now pressed against your back. The proximity between you two sends a shiver through your body, and your heart races with a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

His hands gently massage your hips, and Wooyoung can't help but revel in the sensation of your touch against his skin. The way your bodies fit together creates a warm and intimate connection that has him feeling drunk off of your touch. He suddenly feels immensely grateful that you trusted him to come into the dressing room, along with letting him see you in the dress first. 

“It looks amazing,” Wooyoung whispers in your ear, his lips brushing your earlobe, he continues, “You’d look better without it.” His words cause another shiver to ripple through your body, the insinuations of his words has your head spinning.

“Wooyoung, behave.” Hongjoong’s authoritative voice sounds from behind the curtain of the dressing room and you realise that the seven on the other side must have heard what Wooyoung uttered.

Playfully rolling his eyes, Wooyoung reluctantly moves away from your body, grumbling under his breath. Once the curtain opens, you turn around to face the group, playfully twirling in the dress, feeling a newfound confidence and excitement. 

Emerging from the fitting room, you're greeted by a symphony of reactions from your roommates. Mingi and Seonghwa’s expressions border on awe, their mouths hanging slightly agape as they drink in the way the dress contours your figure. Yeosang and Jongho, aware of their own reactions, quickly avert their gaze, trying to avoid any obvious signs of their appreciation for the dress on you.

Yunho and San's widened eyes trace your silhouette, an unspoken admiration evident in their glances. They want you to feel comfortable but can't help conveying how striking you look, their stare piercing you. Hongjoong, known for his unreadable demeanour, studies you intently, his features carefully neutral. When your curious gaze meets his, he raises an eyebrow in a challenge, his lips curling into a smirk as he openly checks you out.

In a playful move, you send a teasing wink his way, a side of you he rarely witnesses. The effect is immediate, causing a noticeable flush to creep up Hongjoong's cheeks. His eyes widen slightly in surprise at your flirtatious gesture, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his mind. Your unexpected action has triggered a shift in his usually composed demeanour, stirring a rush of thoughts and feelings that he's unaccustomed to.

The contrast between your usual innocence and this unexpected flirtation leaves Hongjoong's heart racing and his mind aflutter with indecent notions. Your playfulness has caught him off guard, and it's evident in the way his cheeks continue to heat up. The dynamic between you two has shifted momentarily, and the lingering effects of your flirtatious exchange are bound to make the day even more interesting. 

"You look stunning!" Mingi exclaims, his eyes bright with admiration.

"You were right. This dress is perfect for her," San chimed in, his eyes not leaving the dress hugging your body.

“I’ll go pay for it,” Hongjoong says, getting off the chair he was comfortably resting in. 

“What? No, I'll pay.” You insist, trying to chase after Hongjoong, who just sends you a sweet smile before heading towards the exit of the fitting rooms. 

“Bring it to me when it's off, love.” he says before turning away to walk off, yet he stops and quickly turns around to meet your eyes again, swiftly he looks you up and down, before smiling again, “you look beautiful.” 

Once again, Hongjoong moves to the exit, some of the others following him, not before glancing at you one more time, to make sure the image of you in the dress stays in their minds. You attempt to follow him, not wanting him to pay for something like this. Yet, Wooyoung, who is still in the changing room, swiftly grabs your hand,  gently pulling you back into the cubicle.

“He likes to pay for things, it’s how he shows his affection, amongst other ways…” Woooyoung trails off and you can’t help but wonder what he is implying, “now, do you need help taking it off too?” 

“Wooyoung.” It is San whose voice sounds this time, causing Wooyoung to playfully roll his eyes.

It's just this dress, you tell yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, a pair of eyes diligently observes your every gesture from across the expanse of the clothing store. A faint scowl adorns their features as they take in the scene playing out before them. Arched eyebrows frame their intent gaze, as they persist in their scrutiny, trying to think of where they've encountered you in the past. Curiously, the sight of your seemingly contented presence among the group of eight men evokes an unease within them. Finally they have found Ateez, yet they are extremely unaware as to who you are.

As the day wears on, you notice that your friends seem to be going out of their way to impress you. They help you find the perfect clothes, hold doors open for you, and even sneak in small gestures of affection, like stealing glances or offering gentle touches on your arm. Seonghwa skillfully manoeuvres his arm around your waist as the two of you walk side by side, gently tugging you closer to his side. His touch creates a sense of intimacy. Resting his chin on your shoulder, he conveys a silent closeness, a shared moment of connection that transcends words. The warmth of his body against yours and the weight of his chin on your shoulder create a comforting sensation.

"Wait, this sweater looks so cosy. You have to try it on!" Jongho insisted, handing you a soft, knitted sweater that looked like it would be perfect for chilly evenings.

"And these shoes! They would go perfectly with that dress you tried earlier," Yunho adds, bringing over a pair of elegant black shoes.

Continuing the shopping spree at the large mall, you can’t help but be flattered by their attention and affection. Every time you pause to admire an item for a little too long, one of the eight men would quickly grab it off the rack, insisting on buying it for you. It was both endearing and overwhelming to see their determination to spoil you  with gifts, no matter how hard you try to protest.

Trying on each item, you can't help but marvel at how well your roommates know your style and preferences. Their attention to detail and the effort they put into finding clothes that suit your taste makes your heart swell with gratitude.

The more the shopping bags pile up, the more you protest, telling them that they do not need to buy everything you like. Alas, your roommates are insistent, assuring you that they want to spoil you and show their appreciation for your presence in their lives.

During a quick break at a coffee shop, you find yourself sitting next to Yunho, who has been rather quiet this entire trip, it seems as if there is something on his mind, bothering him. When you look over to him, you notice he is peering at you with a fond expression. He takes a deep breath, as if he is gathering the courage to say something important, the tips of his ears turning a dark shade of red.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that... I really care about you," he begins, his voice hushed, soft and earnest , the traces of nervousness evident in his tone. The abrupt confession momentarily leaves you in a state of astonishment, as the unexpected display of affection from him causes your heart to quicken its pace. 

Throughout the day, you've been consistently taken aback by the sudden surge of affection from every man. Normally, the casual slight flirting is something you’ve become accustomed to, but now it has escalated to an intense level, and the realisation that there are deeper emotions beneath their words leaves you feeling light-headed and in a perpetual state of fluster.

"Later, can we talk, one on one, just us two? You deserve an apology and an explanation for my behaviour." Yunho continues.

“I’d love that Yunho.” You smile at the man, who looks exactly like a puppy as his eyes light up with happiness.

His confession leaves your heart pounding in your chest, and before Yunho can respond, Jongho approaches the two of you with a smile on his face. "Don't forget about me," he says playfully, though there is a hint of sincerity in his eyes. "I feel the same way. You're truly special to all of us."

Their sincere words have a profound effect on you, causing a rush of warmth to spread throughout your being. The honesty in their expressions and the depth of their feelings touch you deeply, leaving you unable to hide the telltale signs of your emotions. Your cheeks flush with a gentle heat, the emotions swirling within you.

When the day draws to a close, you leave the mall with bags filled with new clothes and hearts full of cherished memories. Realising that you are indeed fortunate to have such incredible people in your life who love you so deeply.

Making your way home, arms laden with shopping bags, you feel an overwhelming sense of happiness and belonging. The affectionate gestures of your roommates have touched you deeply, and you know that you are truly surrounded by people who care for you. In the end, it wasn't just about the clothes or the gifts; it was about the love and warmth that flowed between you. Settling back into the house, you can’t help but smile as you look around at your roommates, each one beaming with happiness. 

“I am going to put all this stuff away,” you exclaim, announcing your short departure.

"Hey, just so you know, dinner will be ready in about an hour or two," Yunho calls out to you as you busily move the numerous bags into your room. With a quick thumbs-up in his direction, you respond in a light-hearted manner, before disappearing behind your closed bedroom door. Your actions prompt a soft chuckle from him, finding your response quite endearing and cute.

Alone in the quiet of your room, you take a deep breath, attempting to steady the rising tide of anxiety that threatens to engulf you. Today had been a day unlike any other, filled with warmth that had, for a fleeting moment, lifted your spirits. The kindness and affection of the boys had been a balm to your soul, enveloping you in a sense of belonging that you hadn't felt in a while.

Reflecting on the day's events, you're struck by a poignant realisation – it was indeed one of the best days you've had in a long time. Laughter, shared moments, and the genuine care of your roommates were woven together to create memories that you'll treasure. And yet, despite the joy that had enveloped you, a shadow of apprehension had loomed over the day, casting a veil of unease over your experience.

The sensation of being watched, the lingering feeling that someone was trailing your every move, had been a constant presence in the back of your mind. It had woven its way into the fabric of your day, colouring even the happiest moments with a sense of discomfort. The weight of someone's presence, real or imagined, clung to you like a second skin, refusing to be shaken off.

Her face was everywhere and the worst thing is, you feel like you’ve seen it before.

---

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2am ⤿ itoshi rin

⤿ it only makes sense that most people wouldn't open the door for anyone at two in the morning. for you, though, rin would.

⤿ w.c: 1.0k

⤿ warnings: reader isn't doing well, but no reasons are specified.

it's two o'clock when rin opens the door to his apartment. two in the morning. it doesn't look like he just woke up, but he's clearly tired. or maybe it's just what you enjoy calling his signature resting bitch face, but you can't tell for sure through your blurry eyes.

either way, you're thankful he doesn't shut the door on you even though you'd knocked on it at illegal hours. instead, rin leans against its frame, arms crossing his chest as he sighs. "what is it this time?"

you're certain any other human right in their mind would - even with your terribly timed self-invitation - think that's a cruel, most disheartening reaction to your best friend being upset ever. to you. it's not.

you're his best friend for a reason. he's your best friend for a reason. you've learned to read him like the back of your hand, and what to others may seem like a heartless response rings in your ears like the genuine concern one would hold for their best friend - hence why you start crying, actually bawling your eyes out, to the point where you can't speak between choked out sobs.

another sigh escapes rin. pushing his weight off the frame, he grabs the hand that isn't covered in snot and wiped-away tears to pull you inside, "get in for now. if the neighbors wake up, i'd rather not cause misunderstandings."

you've been to his apartment countless of times. you could walk yourself in it in pure darkness, yet he doesn't release his hold around your hand yet, guiding you through the space and frankly, you don't mind at all.

the living room is dimly lit. you're quick to figure out he wasn't asleep after all, seeing as his usual yoga mat is laid out in the middle of the floor, a bottle placed nearby. okay, you now know you didn't wake him up.

you're leaving the room just as fast though. it's briefly dark when you enter next one, but with a flip of the switch the lights turn on and the kitchen you're oh so familiar with greets you warmly. "sit down."

a comfortable silence falls over the kitchen. it's vaguely broken by the sound of your sniffles, that of rin shuffling around in the kitchen and water soon boiling. the turmoil within you isn't letting up really yet. you know it won't, but having left your home that felt painfully lonelier than usual and instead find yourself in a different type of safety puts you at ease, if even just a little bit.

you're brought out of your thoughts when a cup is placed on the table right in front of you. along with the steam that it lets off, you quickly recognize the scent of the tea bag. one that rin doesn't like, but still keeps a package of in his cabinets because you like it.

you're amused by the thought that he never forgets to buy a new package whenever there's none left of the previous one. you're also amused by the thought that he, despite that, somehow always forgets whether you drink it with or without sugar and has to ask each time. "are you going to cry or grin? decide already."

"sorry," you puff out in something between a sob and nasally laugh. "with."

not too much later, rin sits by the other side of the table with a cup of his own preferred beverage. one leg bent over the surface of the chair. the other leg curled up, pressed to his chest. his elbow rests on top of the knee and against its respective knuckles, he rests his head. his shoulders are somewhat slacking now, and he has overall picked up a form that's relatively lazier than the one he's known for as a soccer player. that's itoshi rin. athlete rin. this is rin. just rin. best friend rin.

best friend rin that has an odd impact on you, because you soon subconsciously pick up his exact form as well.

"so?"

"just... the usual."

rin scoffs. "the usual, my ass. if it was the usual, you'd be crying yourself to sleep right now, not walk all the way here in the middle of the night."

"can you sugarcoat it at least a little? damn..." you scoff back. he raises an eyebrow in return, though doesn't go on. patiently, he waits for you to explain-so you do, you explain that it really is the usual, but with sprinkles of new additional factors that, in all honesty, you didn't need in a situation that already was bad enough as is. you explain that it simply got too much tonight, an amount of too much that wasn't within your control or ability to calmly register.

from start to finish, rin listens. he notes the puff of breath you let out at last, as if emphasizing the end of your miserable story.

"for starters..."

this time, you listen, from start to finish. he's not necessarily offering solutions, but rather helping you make sense of what doesn't; matter-of-factly pointing out what parts of your situation is receiving far too much of your attention than they deserve; threading in strings of logic around what you can do; bluntly sharing his thoughts to an extent just on the verge of brutal, though you do appreciate it.

"either way, the world isn't going to stop spinning for your sake."

"now, that, was unnecessary."

"well, it's true."

"ass."

rin merely sticks his the tip of his tongue out at you before getting up on his feet, beginning to head out of the kitchen as you ask him about it. "getting you some clothes. i can't let you go home this late." while his back is still facing you, a small smile finds its way to your lips before you, too, get up to wash the now empty tea cups.

in the middle of it, you feel a light lump of something settling on top of your head; the sleeve of a t-shirt and strings from a pair of sweats hang to cover your eyes, accompanied with words that make you feel like everything will eventually get better.

"by the end of the day you've survived worse times. you'll get through this too," rin speaks in one last sigh, an almost uncharacteristically soft one, "so let's go to sleep already."

[joshfutturman]

'blonde'

✭ jhutch promptober prompt 1 - blonde oneshot - derek is struggling to figure out his identity after surviving the beekeepers attempt to hunt him down. with his life falling apart, losing his money and his reputation, he attempts to bleach his own hair. (1k words) pairing - derek danforth (the beekeeper 2024) + gn!reader tags - established relationship, reader lives with derek, angsty, derek tries to cut and bleach his own hair, kinda fluffy at times, not trying to excuse dereks actions in the movie but reader comforts him.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

it was rare for silence to fall upon derek's penthouse. he wasn't a quiet man, this you knew. the times he was quiet? that's when you worried. the anxious silence that surrounds him, the fidgeting with objects he finds to fill his shaky hands - you know derek like the back of your own hand, you can recognise when he's on edge. and he has been, almost constantly lately.

so the silence fills you with dread as you wipe the sleep from your eyes and drag yourself from his luxurious sheets. after the beekeeper incident, you'd often awake to find him scanning the horizon from his balcony, knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the metal. it won't be long until this apartment is ripped from him too, the one he'd come to love, treated as his sanctuary - it was where he'd go to escape with you. his money? gone. his reputation? non-existent. his relationship with his mother? that wasn't worth mentioning.

derek had nothing left.

nothing except for you.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

you approach the en-suite, running your hands across the wooden frame of the door as you peer inside. that's when you find him. your shoulders dip when you see the small bundle of hair in the sink, eyes drifting up to meet his in the mirror. you've never seen him trim his own hair before, he'd insist on only the best salons, the best hairdressers, only ever the best.

but now, seeing him in his bathroom, blonde curls delicately falling onto the white porcelain. . . you can't help but feel like you're looking at the shell of a man you once knew.

he's wearing gloves, the bleach is already mixed, you can see his phone on the edge of the sink with what looks like some sort of tutorial playing.

he's attempting to bleach his own hair.

you walk over, noting the way his gaze flits from you back down to the task at hand like he doesn't care you're seeing him this way. . . except he does. this wasn't what you signed up for, he knew that. the endless stream of gifts stopped the moment his bank accounts were frozen, and though you say you don't care, he doesn't believe you. he wants to spoil you, to drown you in luxury like he always did.

because, after all, who is derek danforth without the fortune? without the penthouse? without the successful multi-billion dollar enterprise? without the yacht or the entourage?

who is he, but just another successful man who has fallen from grace? he should have known he was doomed to this path the moment he was born.

derek's not sure he knows who he is anymore, the one constant in his life being you. and man, is he grateful. you're the first thing he searches for in the morning when his eyes flutter open in the early hours, they find you and for a moment, he savours the feeling that things might just be alright - even if only for the period of time that he holds you.

and here you are again, approaching him from behind. you wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek to his bare back as you relish in the close contact. you feel him exhale deeply, a gloved hand coming down to steady himself at the sink and the other finds yours on his stomach.

he looks at himself in the mirror, meeting his own gaze. derek can feel tears coming as he glares down a man he hardly recognises, but he wills the tears to stay at bay. if he starts, he doesn't know if he can stop.

you see him like this, yet you stay. you see him desperately trying to retain some semblance of the identity he came to wear like a freshly pressed suit, slipping through his fingers. . . but you're there to gently take his hand in yours, guide them away from clawing at the walls to escape the hole he's put himself in.

you're there to love him, to acknowledge his mistakes and to let him own up to the consequences of his foolish actions. you'll be there to help put him back together again, in whatever way that might be, however he comes out the other end of this.

". . . thanks," he mumbles, voice shaky and unsure, like he wasn't quite ready to talk but felt it was important you heard it.

you smile, and he feels it against the smooth freckled skin of his back. "anytime," a beat, "let me help?"

derek feels you remove yourself from the embrace and carefully begin to remove his gloves to put them on your own hands. he watches you as you gently strip them from him, he notes the tenderness in your actions.

"i love you," he half whispers in a tone that sounds both apologetic and deeply sincere, like he's sorry you love him. his expression breaks your heart when you pull your attention from the gloves, watching as his eyes trace over your features, a frown pulling at his lips.

it doesn't matter to you if he has the money, if he has the look, the blonde curls or the house. what matters is the way he looks into your eyes as if you're everything he's ever dreamed of, no amount of money or gifts can ever give you the same feeling that does.

you smile softly, "i love you too, babe." you say, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, as if it's the easiest thing in the world to you.

and he smiles, closing his eyes as your hand cups his cheek in a comforting gesture, one to let him know that you're here and you're not going anywhere. you couldn't. because you love him - you love the man you fell in love with, not the image he projects, not the one he presents to the world.

you just love him. you love derek, the one standing in front of you now, hands shaking as he eyes the blonde curls in the sink.

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th Girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Some chances are taken too late. You only realise what you've lost when you're starting to lose them. Goodbyes are hard, especially when you've just started.

===

Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST, turn back now I'm warning you, goodbyes, intimate scenes, MAJOR heartbreak, swearing

References to Call Me By Your Name

===

===

Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

===

It was hot that morning. I woke up in a layer of sweat, windows exuding heat, hair clinging on my neck, my blanket on the hardwood floor.

George sits on the window frame, taking the heat opposite of how I was.

I get up, groaning with a slight headache. I place my feet on the floor, keeping my eyes closed for the time being, trying to relax and gain back my senses.

There'd been a feeling in me this whole time, but as I woke up, it felt so much more evident. A clench in my chest.

I don't know where it came from or when it started, but I felt it there. It never really took my attention. Maybe it was from whatever position I was in. Or if I hadn't eaten or drank enough.

Summer is just around the corner, but I don't want it to start. It was always something I looked forward to.

Dipping into cold waters under the heat of the afternoon sun, eating fruits with their juices spilling over countertops and silverware. Tanning, sunburns, dry mouths from salt water. Then winter comes and you wait for summer again.

It's probably because I'm expecting something I know won't be there. But what is it? I have a summer job now, and I'm headed to Paris. What else could I possibly want?

I know exactly what. It's not that I'm afraid of it. It's because I can't change it. And it hurts.

Summer is when I'm supposed to be happy. He's ruined all of that now. I've got to get a grip, too. He won't care, so I shouldn't. But I care. I care a lot.

This isn't something I should think about. I'll forget him as soon as I get to Paris. I'll forget anything that's happened between us, even if nothing really did. I'll forget, and I'll forever have that feeling that I felt now. That something's there, and I'm not giving it attention.

Because deep down, I know what it is. And, it hurts.

××《☆》××

The walk to school was short-lived and ordinary. Nothing special happened. It was just brighter; which didn't really match my mood.

I was also a bit late. Most of the students were already heading in, and the bell rang as soon as I stepped through the gate.

I make my way up the staircase, keeping my head downcast and not paying anyone any mind.

All throught class it wasn't special. We did assignments, lectures, and all common school things. But the sound of pages being flipped, ink on paper, pattering of floorboards, it comforted me. I knew those sounds would stay with me throughout my life. People don't.

When class was dismissed, I took my time. I might not see this school again. I might move back to Paris. I might not see Michèle or Simone as much. And I won't, more so refuse to see Joseph ever.

It was afternoon now, so everything's brighter than this morning. And everything's hotter, too. I shade my face with my hands, squinting to see Callum's well-known car on the side of the road.

He's outside leaning on the door, smoking. I'm guessing his third cigarette today. He still has his wide smile on, and I wonder if his cheeks ever hurt.

"Good afternoon, pretty girl." He says as he patches his cigarette out. "How are you?"

"Hot." I shrug, going around the car with Callum as he opens the passenger door for me. I get inside, him as well after doing another roundabout the car.

"Well, love how you state what I already know." I think about that sentence for a while, sensing it was off. I realise what he meant, and I smack his arm.

"Oh, what now? Let me be funny!" I roll my eyes as he starts the car, a faint smile on my face. One thing I know for sure is that Callum is one of the people who would stay with me throughout my life. He was the reason I'm going back to Paris, the reason I have somewhat of a career. And I'm glad I met him, even with the circumstances of difficult feelings.

Whilst I talked about my day to him, I had realised nothing special happened because I didn't interact with Joseph. The day felt gloomy. It felt so underwhelming, so boring, because he wasn't involved.

"And it's so weird because we hadn't talked since that dinner." I tell Callum, who's been listening to me this whole time. We decided to go to a lake to cool off. It was a bit well known, but not too crowded since the school season isn’t off yet.

I made a quick pick up in my house, including a goodbye to George.

Going back, Callum nods. His hand flexes on the steering wheel.

"So, let me round this up. Joseph's mother invited you to dinner, then teased both you and him, then when he walks you out to their place, some girl-"

"The girl from the alley."

"The girl from the alley pops up from nowhere, fully dressed up."

"Exactly."

"But, why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean, sure, I've never met her, but who could compete against you?"

"Okay, Callum, whatever-"

"No, I mean, how stupid can Joseph be to pick anyone but you?" This makes my breath catch on my throat.

"Don't call him stupid, Callum. He's fucking brilliant."

He quiets down, smile fading just a bit from my serious tone.

"Sorry." I had apologised.

"No need. It's fine. I just... you know what I meant."

"Yeah, I knew what you meant. Just... instict, you know?"

"I get that. You're in love, so you're defensive." He shrugs and starts to smile again. He's holding in a laugh.

"Shut up." I glare.

"Not gonna happen." I don't want it to happen.

××《☆》××

The next morning was the same. It was hot, I took a longer shower, got dressed, said goodbye to George, and headed to school.

This time, I met with Simone. I ask her about Michèle, getting worried that she hasn't come to school for two days straight. Before she could respond, she stopped in her tracks, seeing Jean Pierre across the hall.

"I- I'm sorry, Y/N, but I really need to talk to Jean Pierre. Stay here, please?" She scrunches up her face in guilt, but I simply shrug it off, knowing that if she wants to talk to someone, I shouldn't stop her. Especially if that someone is her boyfriend. Or whatever he is.

They go ahead to talk, me staying at the same place she left me, keeping a close eye on them. I lean against the wall, the hallway now a lot more quiet than when the bell rang a few minutes ago.

Their conversation lasted for only a bit because I saw Jean Pierre walking away. I head to Simone's side.

"So, what did you talk about?" She's still, and there's no emotion on her face. I worry.

"He just broke up with me." Oh. I pull her into a side hug, not knowing whether she was devastated with the news or if she was okay with it. She looked like both but neither at the same time.

I nod towards the stairwell, deciding for the both of us we should head to the courtyard to have our break. Or the bathroom for a quick cry.

We pass by a group of boys, and one of them keeps his eyes on me. Then, when I turned to glance at who it was, I realised it was just an eye.

In that moment, everything in me faded away. All the hate towards him, all the sadness, all the misunderstanding. I just wanted to talk to him again. For one last time. So I did.

"Joseph," I stop in my tracks. I tell Simone to keep going, that I'm fine left alone. She nods in acknowledgement and walks down the staircase.

I turn around to meet his stare. My breath catches in my throat, not having this kind of interaction in a while.

I walk towards him, a bit slow. "Can I talk to you?" I pause. "Alone?"

His friends tease him and push him around lightly, but his eyes are still as well as his whole body. I fear his heart might be, too.

He simply nods and silently eyes his friends to go. We're left alone near the window and take a seat in the space.

"You must be wondering why I'm talking to you again so suddenly." He stays quiet, looking down.

"Joseph..." I scoot closer. I bring both my hands up to his cheeks, only hovering above them.

He stays silent. I bring my hands back until he leans forward and into them, gently grabbing my wrists and holding them still. I feel the air come out of his nose as he exhales, body slumping down.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Ignoring you was one of the most stupid things I've done. Being angry was second." I tilt my head to see if he's opened his eye, but he keeps them closed. His thumb rubs one of my wrists.

"You should be with anyone you want to be with. It shouldn't matter to me. But, it did." He lifts his head, peering an eye. His mouth opens, then closes again. I keep going.

"I missed you. I've been missing you. I miss all the times we weren't mad at each other." I caress his cheeks, and he leans into my touch.

"I was never mad at you." Joseph says, but I shake my head.

"You were. And that's fine. It's okay to be mad at me. I get it." He furrows his brows at me.

"Don't say that. I was never mad at you. I've never been mad at you."

"But what about all those times you shouted at me? Those times in the streets?" He sighs deeply, not as relaxed as before.

"I was mad at myself, but I was letting it out on you. And I'm sorry about that. But trust me, I could never be mad at you."

We just stare at each other after. The silence fills the air, and it's the first time it was like this in a while. I had to tell him.

"I'm leaving." I feel his breath stop, and it's so nauseating.

"What?" He mumbles out.

"I'm leaving." I repeat.

"For the summer?" He squints, the gears turning in his head. I wish it was only for the summer.

"No," I look down. "For good."

He pulls away from my hands, sitting straight again.

"No..." He shakes his head. "Don't lie to me."

"I would never." I look him dead in the eye, not wanting him to think that I would ever do.

"Exactly. I know you'd never. So why are you lying to me now? This is some joke, right? Like a cliffhanger for next year. Right?" I simply stare at him.

"Y/N, please tell me you're lying. I'll let it slide. Tell me you're lying." He begs, grabbing a hold of my dropped hands.

I don't move. I don't look at him. I don't say anything. That was enough of an answer.

"No..." He whispers. He does it all over again as he gets up and paces. He rubs at his eye, and I get up and say "Stop."

He stills. I see the tear stains reflect off his cheeks from the sunlight outside coming in. His head is down as it was before. I sigh deeply, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Come here." I pull him in, and he immediately engulfs me in an embrace. He sobs desperately, and I try my hardest not to join him.

A series of "please don't go"s spill out of his quivering mouth, and my brain goes numb. He's shaking. His heart is pounding. His mind's all over the place.

I hush him, rubbing his back like I do with a baby, whispering nothings into his ear. When he stops, his body is still slumped down to hold mine.

"We wasted so many days. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asks once we're sat back down the window.

"I tried. I promise. We were still mad." He laughs, and it's been such a long time that my brain got nostalgia.

"Fuck. I'm gonna miss you all over again." He bites his lip as he looks down, fiddling with the inseam of his pants. I purse my lips together.

"We'll keep in touch." He shakes his head.

"You'd be everywhere."

"I'll call your home phone."

"I'm not gonna be home in the summer."

"I'll call wherever you are."

"Thank god you thought of something for that because I was ready to start sobbing again." He laughs again, and the suns back in his eyes. Like it left and came back.

I grab a hold of his hands, stopping him from fidgeting. I make him look back up at me.

"I promise I'll phone you every day. I'll send you letters, postcards, and pictures. I'll even send you some magazines I'm in." I shrug, and he smiles.

"I don't think you have to do that last one. I'm keeping my eye on every magazine booth here on out." We chuckle together. We stay quiet again, then Joseph tucks my hair behind my ear.

"You're beautiful, Y/N Pardine. You'll do great out there. I'm only a phone call or a pen away." I flush at his bluntness and smile sweetly. He does, too.

××《☆》××

The party happened. We spent almost the whole time together. We had even danced.

An American song called "At Last" plays in the background as Joseph holds me, dancing slowly.

His hands cup my waist, my arms wrapped around his neck, his forehead against mine. I play with the ends of his hair as he caresses my body.

We laugh, we drink, we talk, and we glance. We do what we missed. We held each other. We absorbed one another.

There was a time in that party that happened between Simone and Jean Pierre. Thank god he finally said something of the truth, because that breakup was a straight lie.

Anyways, the night ended, but nothing happened. I don't know what I was expecting, but there was a feeling something special could've happened to me. Like a string tugging on my insides.

Something to do with pretty pink lips.

××《☆》××

The next morning, I woke up with his arms around me.

He smelt of fading whiskey, cigarette smoke, and expensive cologne. Just as he always did.

His eye patch was off, his hair a mess, and his jacket's on the floor. His shirt is wrinkled, he's breathing evenly as one does in their sleep, and there's a small snore coming from him. It's adorable.

When I get up, or at least try to, his grip on me tightens. Not in a way that hurts, but it's strong enough for me to come collapsing on his chest. He's warm again.

"Five more minutes." He groans, and I sigh deeply. Five more minutes will be alright.

Ten minutes pass, and only then do we get up. I hand him a towel and some clothes, my father's again, then one of my own, then usher him to the bathroom. I fix our bed, pick his jacket up off the floor, and fold it neatly.

Once I hear the shower turn off and the door creak, I try my best not to turn and just... stare. It's creepy, I know. But, who could blame me? I mean, I was leaving for good.

Right. Leaving for good.

I feel his arms wrap around my waist, his head tucking into my neck, his nose poking at some sensitive spots. I squeal silently, and he chuckles to himself, the vibration of his chest spreading around my back.

"Want some breakfast?" He whispers. George lies by the windowsill, watching the both of us in embrace. His tail moves around, eyes blinking slowly. He's glowing from the sunlight hitting him.

"If you don't mind. Please, and thank you." I turn my head a bit towards him. He nods, pressing a kiss to my hair. I smile to myself whilst I check things off my list last minute.

He's done with breakfast by the time I finish my quick shower. I'm fully dressed now. The only things missing are my coat and my suitcases.

Joseph sits across from me. We were in this position before.

"So, how's Callum? Still a prick?" He says as he stabs on some of the eggs he made. I finish my bite before answering.

"Callum's doing fine. I don't know why you've always been so off about him. He's a good guy." I shrug, tilting my head for an answer. "What's got you like that?"

He sighs, dropping his utensils gently on the table top. I place a hand over his, and he turns it to hold mine.

"Felt like he stole you from me." He mumbles, but it was clear enough for me to hear.

I purse my lips at this remark. "No one's gonna keep me away from you. Except that girl that actually did." I laugh as Joseph groans.

"I already told you, I didn't even know her." From this, I kept going.

"Well, then why did you basically call me a slut?" I raise my eyebrows in amusement, as to show that I moved on from it. Still, I was curious.

He pauses. For a long time. I begin to worry, thinking he actually meant it. I try to pull my hand away, but his grip turns firm.

"No." Joseph whispers out of desperation. He's taking deep breaths. I can tell he's overthinking. But I need to know the truth.

"You've got to tell me, Joseph. Otherwise, we'll shrug each other off again. Do you want that?" I push on him. He needs to tell me. I need to know.

"No. I don't want that. Just..." He closes his eyes, readying himself.

"The boys wanted to talk to you. I couldn't let them. I knew how they meant. And I'll just put it simply that they meant badly. So I had to tell them things about you that weren't true so they could get pushed away from the idea of you." He cups my cheeks from across the table. I lean into his touch.

"I don't want anyone to take advantage of you. Thank whatever god is up there that I found out because if I hadn't..." He breathes in deeply, caressing my face with his thumb. "I don't even want to think about that. Okay?"

I nod. I get up from my seat to give him a hug. He remains seated, his face pressed up on my stomach. I rub his back and comb fingers through his hair.

He stands up slowly, hands still attached to my hips. They roam up to my wait as he hovers over me, and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. He's so close. His nose just bumps into mine. He's looking down at me. At my eyes. At my lips. His breath is haggard.

"Callum's probably waiting." I whisper, my breath fanning over both our lips. Our lips only an inch away from eachother.

"Let him wait." His voice is low. He's starting to make my knees buckle.

A loud crash is heard throughout the flat. I yelp away from him. Now we're feet away from each other, cheeks flushed and hair tousled. As if we did something. And we didn't even.

George meows on the kitchen counter, staring at us innocently with the keys now on the floor. I sigh deeply, walking towards him and picking him up.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind, but," I hand George to Joseph. "My baby's yours."

His eye widens in surprise, then he switches his gaze from me to the cat, then back to me, then back to the cat.

"I can't..." I shake my head, smiling.

"He's yours, Joseph. That's final. He already loves you more than me. It's alright. Plus everytime you see him, you think of me."

He flushes, demeanour relaxing. "I already think of you too much."

It's my turn to flush now. But I respond. "Good."

××《☆》××

We arrive at the train station. I bid a thank you and goodbye to Joseph's mother, hugging her for a short while. Joseph carries all my belongings.

I spot Callum at a bench.

"Callum, you remember Joseph." I nod to Joseph. He drops my things next to Callum's.

"Of course I do. The infamous lover boy. It was nice meeting you, man." Callum shakes Joseph's hand. Joseph purses his lips tightly, gripping on Callum's hand.

"I'm still not sure about you... but she trusts you, so I should, too." Callum nods firmly. They let go of their handshake.

"Well, I better get our things in. Say your final goodbyes." He moves to go in the train. Me and Joseph are alone again.

"Got your pretty things intact?" Joseph teases, and I simply laugh.

"Yes, I do." I look up at him. He moves closer, hands on his hips.

"One day, I'll hear those words again." There's a feeling in me. Like dejavu, but a feeling from the future. I couldn't explain it, but what he said made sense. Like I knew, I would say those words again, too.

We stand in silence. I walked closer, embracing him for one last time. He leans down, his hands tight around me, his head over mine. I feel a lump in my throat.

We held each other for one last time. We smelt each other for one last time. We absorbed each other one last time.

I try to pull away, but he pulls me back in. The lump grows bigger.

When we finally pull away, my eyes start to sting. I palm my throat, trying to push that growing lump down. His hands are on my shoulders. He lets go.

"Goodbye, Y/N Pardine." He mutters, his voice breaking.

"Goodbye, Joseph Descamps." I mock him with a smile on my face.

I turn around and walk on the train. Joseph follows me, guiding me up the steps. His hand holds onto mine. I hang on the pole.

The train blares its horns, and it starts to move very slowly. The tears escape my eyes. He wipes it away.

"Y/N," he says. "I love you."

I sob. I laugh. It's a bit ugly.

"I love you, too. So much."

He stands on his toes and kisses me. His pretty pink lips are finally on mine. I grip the trains pole harder.

The trains blares again, and my kisses become more desperate. The train moves faster and faster, and Joseph starts to run. His lips start parting from mine, tears dropping even more.

"Come back to me, Y/N!" He shouts. He's still running. He's laughing now. And he's crying. He's beautiful. He gets farther, farther, and farther.

Then he's gone.

××《☆》××

End- Chapter eight: Joseph, Joseph, Joseph

Next- Chapter nine: ______

××《☆》××

I'm actually crying omfg. This hits so diff w the song in the background. Its short but omfg the angst. Help me. Hahhahahahaha.

[takochan-writes]

Don't Make a Sound - DBF!Javier Pena x f!reader

Pairing: DBF!Javier Pena x f!reader

W/C: 900

Tags/Warnings: 18+ MDNI, DBF (Dad's bestfriend), pwp, p in v, creampie

A/N: sex with fireworks view on your bedroom window? HELL YEA 'MURICA! Lmao. It's not even the 4th of July… but fuck it, right? It's STILL July after all lmao

Summary: Your family is hosting a party for the 4th of July in your family house until midnight. But, a certain someone comes into your room to have some alone time with you.

It's the 4th of July and your family decided to invite their friends and neighbors to have some barbeque in your family house. It's a big day for them, but you can't help it to wait for someone special that you know he's gonna come tonight. It's your dad's best friend, Javier Pena.

And you're not even going to lie, Javier is one of the most attractive people on this planet. You have known him since you were in middle school. When your dad invites his best friends to look at his new car, he introduces you to all of them. But, you were smitten by him, because of his broad shoulders and that handsome face of his. His tight pants and those beautiful brown eyes keep you on the edge every time he comes over to your family home.

You've been thinking about him ever since. You think that he's taken an interest in you too. You always catch him looking at you with…. hungry eyes. Like a predator trying to keep an eye on his prey before anyone or anything else can catch you before him. Every time you catch him looking at you, he'll look the other way real quick. But, you noticed him every time.

But today was different. Today, you're excited to go see the fireworks, especially him. Your parents and their friends are already on the porch, barbequing, drinking, and having some fun talking about their lives. They seem busy with what they're doing. You finally catch his eyes in the crowds of people. You both start a starring contest for a while with flirty eyes. But, you suddenly break the eye contact to wink and start walking to your bedroom upstairs. You hope he got the hint.

So here you are now, sitting on your bed in your white nightgown, waiting for Javier to show up with all your hopes and dreams riding high in the air. Finally, Javier knocked on your door and started making his way inside your room.

He walks into your room like he owns the place and closes the door. "You waitin' for me, darling?"

You just nodded and gave your best puppy dog eyes.

He chuckles lightly and pulls his shirt off. You gasp quietly, watching him take his pants off and then lay them down somewhere on the floor next to his shoes and shirt. He turns back to face you and gives you a devilish grin.

"Are we going to do things or just stare at each other?" He raises a brow and you giggle a little.

He got on top of you and your breath hitches when you feel his hand rest on your hip as you close your eyes. You open your eyes to find him smirking at you. He didn't let you wait and slowly slide his cock into your wet cunt. You groan as you feel the head stretching you.

"Shhh, baby girl, shhhh.. It won't hurt so much if you stay quiet"

You close your eyes and just enjoy the feeling of having him inside you. But the feeling of him stretching you was almost too much. You have enough experience with sex, but you didn't expect him to be this big. You start to whimper and cry a little bit because of the overwhelming feelings you experienced.

"Shhh, babygirl. Don't cry. I know it's too much for you, huh? My cock is too big for your cute little cunt? Just breathe in, honey. You're taking me so well. I'm almost all the way inside of ya, honey"

He keeps his body as still as possible to let you adjust to his bulbous head before he thrust forward and pushes his full length inside of you.

"God dammit, honey. You're squeezing me so much. I'm trying so hard not to fuck you like a fuck toy that you are. Do you like this, babygirl? Huh? You like my cock so much that you squeeze me this hard to keep me inside of you? I know you fucking like this because I can feel you dripping all over my balls, honey"

Soon enough you feel the familiar wave of pleasure washing over you and you cry out loud. You hear Javier moan loudly along with you. He finally, slowly thrusting into you.

"Oh fuuucck… that's it, babygirl. You've taken all of me inside of you. Fuck, you squeezing me so much, babygirl. You feel so good, so warm. I'm so proud of you, honey. You are my perfect little toy, huh?" he murmurs against your ear and you just whimper in response.

He starts thrusting into you fast. As he hits the spot that you need, you start screaming his name. You can hear him moaning as he pumps his cock faster. The waves of pleasure are crashing and crashing over you and your legs are shaking uncontrollably. You feel his cock twitch in your tight pussy and you feel him fill you completely. A few seconds later, you finally reach your climax and he comes deep into you. He grabs you tightly with his arms and collapses on top of you.

"I love you, babygirl. I love you so much," he mutters and pulls his head from the crook between your neck and shoulder and kisses you passionately.

[yuff7e]

So I imagine a Reader and Bakugo are neighbours and their parents are friends so she’s known him since they were children but he dosent really care— anyways going to the future, reader confessed to Bakugo in middle school however since he dossnt get much attention from girls since they always ignore him he didnt know what to do and just reject her harshly, little did he know he started to develop feelings and it got worse when they both moved to UA💀.

How do you think he would handle the crush thing and treat the reader before or after the war?

˗ˏˋ 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃 ´ˎ˗

𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

hey everyone!! sorry i've been a bit inactive lately; things have been a bit hectic. but i'm back!! i hope you all enjoy this short one-shot of our favorite 💥 boy finally realizing he has feelings (what a shocker, i know). hope you're all having an amazing day or night, wherever you are! :) ఌ︎

♬♪ -> lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıı the url isn’t working ? :(

the sky was painted with the warm hues of the setting sun as bakugo katsuki walked back to the dorms of ua high school. he had just finished an intense training session, his muscles aching in a satisfying way. but his mind was far from the usual satisfaction he got from pushing his limits. instead, it was occupied by thoughts of you, his next-door neighbor and childhood friend.

he remembered the day in middle school when you confessed your feelings to him. the memory was etched in his mind, clear as day. he had harshly rejected you, not caring about girls or their feelings. back then, his only focus was on becoming the number one hero. he had told himself that relationships were a distraction, and besides, girls were usually scared of his brash personality.

yet, as he walked, he couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed. you had changed. he had changed. it started slowly, almost imperceptibly. a lingering glance here, a flutter in his chest there. at first, he chalked it up to irritation. you were always hanging around, always smiling, always making him feel things he didn't want to acknowledge.

but now, years later at ua, those feelings had only intensified. he found himself seeking you out, looking for your approval, your laughter, your presence. it frustrated him to no end. he was bakugo katsuki, damn it! he wasn't supposed to be distracted by anyone, let alone a girl he had once rejected so callously.

arriving at the dorms, he saw you sitting on the steps, your face illuminated by the fading sunlight. you looked up and smiled as you saw him, and he felt that familiar flutter in his chest. he scowled to hide his discomfort, but it was a poor disguise.

"hey, bakugo," you greeted him warmly, standing up and dusting off your skirt. "long day?" he grunted in response, avoiding your eyes. "what are you doing out here?" you shrugged, your smile never wavering. "just enjoying the sunset. it's nice to take a moment and relax, you know?"

he didn't respond, his mind racing. how could you be so calm, so unaffected, when he was a storm of emotions inside? he clenched his fists, the frustration bubbling up. he had to say something, anything, to clear his mind.

"why are you always so damn happy?" he blurted out, surprising even himself. you blinked, taken aback by his outburst. "well," you began slowly, "i guess i just try to find the good in everything. life's too short to be angry all the time."

"that's stupid," he snapped, but there was no heat in his words. he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "you... you're always around, and it's... annoying." you raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "annoying? how so?"

he groaned, hating how he was fumbling with his words. "you just are, okay? ever since middle school, you've been this... this presence. and i can't get rid of you." you chuckled softly, and the sound made his heart skip a beat. "well, i live next door, so that's kind of hard to avoid."

he took a deep breath, his frustration giving way to a strange sense of vulnerability. "that's not what i mean," he muttered, looking away. "i mean, you're always in my head. i can't stop thinking about you, and it's driving me so damn crazy."

silence stretched between you, and he dared to glance at you, fearing your reaction. but your eyes were soft, understanding, and a small smile played on your lips. "katsuki," you said gently, using his first name, which only made his heart race faster. "are you saying you have feelings for me?"

he bristled at the directness of your question but couldn't bring himself to deny it. "yeah," he admitted gruffly. "i guess i am." your smile widened, and you took a step closer, your hand reaching out to touch his arm. "it's about time you realized it."

he stared at you, dumbfounded. "what do you mean?" "i've always had feelings for you, katsuki," you said softly. "even after you rejected me. i never stopped caring about you."

his heart felt like it was about to burst. he had been so blind, so focused on his goals, that he had overlooked what was right in front of him. but now, standing here with you, he felt a sense of clarity. "i was an idiot," he admitted, his voice low. "i didn't see what was right in front of me."

you laughed lightly, the sound music to his ears. "it's okay. you're here now, and that's what matters." he looked into your eyes, finding a warmth and acceptance that he had never known. slowly, almost hesitantly, he reached out and took your hand, holding it tightly.

"i'm not good at this," he warned, his voice uncharacteristically soft. you squeezed his hand, your smile reassuring. "we'll figure it out together."

as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the world in twilight, bakugo felt a sense of peace he had never known. with you by his side, he knew he could face anything. and for the first time, he allowed himself to embrace the feelings he had kept hidden for so long.

requests : open

[ritualofcirice]

Could we get a letter of sup-port for our dear FrauGwinska? She's a wonderful person who needs to hear just how amazing she really is. She's been nothing but a positive example in the HH Fandom, and I know I'm not the only one who can attest to that fact.

Thank you so much for doing these, by the way. It's so lovely to see people lifting others up when hate has been all to prevalent lately.

🐑 ♡ Here's one letter fresh from Sup-port, addressed one delightful author ♡ 🐑

Dear @fraugwinska,

What an honour it is to be able to write a letter to you! From electrifying Vox smut, to the carefully constructed world of Gem, you're stories intrigue and capture the hearts of those that read them.

Not only that, but you've provided a space for other writers to feel seen. You have made a space where people can go to share with others and talk amongst friends.

That's why you've been nominated for a letter! We want to give back all the support you have given us. Inside and outside of the server, we all want you to know that it is just as much a place for you to be seen, appreciated, and loved. This goes for both you and all your heartful stories. Thank you for sharing them with us, and thank you for all that you have done for the fandom!

Wishing all the best, and sending all of our love,

The Sup-port Team xo

Let's see what other letters arrived for you!

From @hazelfoureyes ♡

Mein Frauchen, very often I read things that make me feel inadequate as a writer. Several times it was things you’ve written, you talented bitch (I love you). I know good art doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves, but I hope you truly believe me when I say you’re skilled in many areas and your efforts are always appreciated. The first time I read your work I almost got too intimidated to talk to you anymore haha but I did! Somehow! ♡ I’m unsure how to lift your spirits, but please know no matter how you choose to exist in our fandoms we all share together that we are better for your presence.

From @macabr3-barbi3 ♡

"Frau is one of the most genuine and heartfelt people I have ever met- she was one of the first people in the Hazbin fandom to welcome me, which was honestly wild because I was already a fan of Method to Madness and was just baffled that she was not only such an amazing writer, but an amazing person all around. When we started chatting after a frankly mortifying initial interaction on my part, I was so happy to find that we were so similar and that she was so fun to talk to and conspire with. So many of my ideas have come from the inspiration she brings me, as a fellow writer and as a friend. She is endlessly patient, empathetic to a degree I've never seen, and so so so supportive and encouraging of everyone that she interacts with in the servers we share. She is funny and charismatic and sweet, and I've grown closer to her faster than I've ever bonded with another person before. It hurts to know sometimes that she doesn't see herself the way that myself and so many others in the Hazbin community see her- an integral and important part of the fanfiction community and in all of our lives. It is one of my greatest privileges in life to not only be here to support her writing and her work but to call her one of my absolute best friends, and I can't wait to see how much further she grows."

From @kewpikayo ♡

Kindness. Warmth. Inspiration, A powerhouse of talent and a genuine soul. Those words, among countless more positive things, are but a taste of who Mama Frau is. I may have only known Frau since the latter part of 2024 but I can just tell she is the type of person who would travel oceans for people just to let them know she cares. She is so sweet, a motherly soul, and so very creatively inclined. To say I appreciate her is a complete understatement. She is a treasure, a precious “Gem”, and to know her is such a gift. The way she weaves her stories with intricate detail and just enough suspense to keep her audience’s intrigue is commendable and a remarkable skill. I am thankful beyond compare for you, Mama Frau. And I am so excited to get to know you even more as we walk further into 2025 and many years to come hugs

From @startissuu ♡

"Stop being so darn pretty before Chef is forced to travel to Germany and get down on one knee"

Tagging Backup:

@melodyonthewireless, @tarokitsu, @bapple117, @redvexillum, @redfoxwritesstuff, @minkdelovely, @hyuccubus, @reinthechaosdeer, @jurijyuu, @primsgirl89, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @6esiree, @lumikello24

Want To Write A Personal Letter?

Frau's official Sup-port tag is #fromsup-port2fraugwinska

♡ Is it your first time picking up mail at Sup-port? Find out what we're about here ♡

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Come Back to You | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Jungkook is going off to war but you can't let him go without telling him... Pairing: Reader x Soldier Jungkook Word Count: 670 because I cried the whole time and wanted to stop. Warning: Explicit language and angst :( a/n: Yeah no I didn't think I would cry as much as I did after seeing Jungkook's/the last BTS live until Jin comes back so yeah I figured I would channel some of that into writing really quick. Obviously written in one sitting and idk it's kinda shit but oh well lmao.

"Get out of here, just go"

"Please just let me explain" he begs chasing after me into my apartment building. "You had plenty of time to explain and instead you decide to tell me that you're leaving in the morning and you're not sure if you're coming back" I say getting even more upset. "How was I supposed to tell you when you kept ignoring my calls and messages and then when I finally got the chance to see you it would only be in places where we couldn't have private conversations" he explains. 

"Oh, so now it's my fault?" I question as I unlock my door and leave it open, still letting him in even though all I want to do is shut him out. "That's not what I meant" he says softly, closing it behind us and lowering his voice since he no longer has to chase after me. "Then what did you mean Jungkook? That you felt like you had no choice but to leave things left unsaid until there was no going back? Jungkook I love you" I yell, tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall. "I love you too" he reciprocates. 

"No Jungkook, I'm in love with you" I say now with a softer voice as well, hating that he had to find out like this. "I know I've always said we're just friends and that's all that we were ever going to be but I can't keep saying that because I am suffocating" I admit, finally letting some tears fall and quickly wiping them away, mad and sad and embarrassed and heartbroken and a whole other range of emotion that a human could possibly go through in moments like this. 

"I've been in love with you for years and you've known that all this time. Why didn't you tell me when you realized that you felt the same way?" he says trying to take a step towards me but I in turn take a step back. "I didn't realize it until now. As much as I fucking hate to say it, you never know how much you love something until it's gone" I say, letting the tears fall freely, mad that I let myself be so immature, keeping all of these emotions inside of me for too long. 

"I won't be gone forever though" he says trying to take another step towards me and me again taking another step back. "Jungkook you're going off to war, you can't just say things like that" I let out, trying to keep my voice level. "People go off to war to serve and come back safely all the time. I don't think it'll be any different for me" he says, his voice soft and reassuring. 

"And what if you don't huh? What if this really is the last time I see you?" I say, getting frustrated with him all over again. "But it won't be" "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT" I yell, all of the anger and frustration built up inside of me bursting at the seams. Not caring about my want for space anymore he rushes over and pulls me in, almost crushing me from his tight embrace. "I don't want to lose you" I sob, my whole body losing it's strength as he guides both of us onto the floor and has me straddle him so he can hold me closer. 

"Shh, shhh" he soothes, tears of his own starting to fall, losing the strong resolve that he had tried to keep up for my sake. "I love you" I sob, hoping that this will somehow make a difference in the outcome. "I'll come home as soon as I can. I promise" he says running his hand along my back. "What if you can't make it back? What if they keep you there for years and you stop putting in the effort to come home?" I say, breaking even more if that's even possible.

"I will never stop trying to find a way to come back to you"  

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[blood-injections]

what if the Phoenix Witch but... horror. horror of the loss of self. body horror. you know how i do all my Creature Witch art? That. but what if she wasn't always inhuman? no, at some point in war and radiation and prayers to make it out alive feathers started sprouting, her bones started shifting and soon she became something completely unrecognizable- and then somehow the creature she turned into became something to be worshipped. and if she remembers who she was at all, if she's mourning that- how do you deal with the malformed Thing you've become being known and loved more than the Person you were?? how can you possibly cope with being forgotten and reinvented against your will? And how do you follow through with it? okay, so you're seen as holy, now how can you possibly become that? since you can't go back. since you cant be what you want to be anymore, since you're not even human anymore, well, you might as well become what everyone sees. but even if you've sprouted wings and are the definition of an angel, how can you be happy as that, when in your extra eyes, you're the most unholy, wretched thing to ever exist? you could try to pretend that you're not a monster, but you can only pretend for so long. you're not human anymore but you are. you've lost your body and your smile but at your core you're still a person even if you don't think that anymore. you're not human but just as miserable. and you're mourning. you're mourning yourself and the world and the life you lived, the life you should still be living. you're a monster but you still have a human heart beating somewhere inside you and you want to become what they all see but you cant do that without shedding your humanity, without becoming the abstraction, the all-knowing, selfless god they see. and how can you do that when even if you don't think so, your humanity is all you have left. and how can you distance yourself from your inherent personhood when you're so scared still?

[evermourning]

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - bang chan

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: fluff, comfort, slice of life, based off "must be love" by laufey

wc: 0.8k

warnings: neck kisses (non-sexual), use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), language

now that you had someone you could call your own, it was like time stopped.

you were used to not much going your way, like the world had it out for you. it was some sort of sick fucking joke, like a dark raincloud hanging over your fate and covering up all that was good. you learned to code with it. that was how you lived.

until chan came along, of course.

he was the warm ray of sunshine you needed to push the melancholia inside you away. immediately, you could tell something was different. this guy was just full of so much love, it seemed surreal. intangible.

now, months into a relationship with the supposed man of your dreams, you missed him miserably. he sat absorbed in his work, the studio forming a impenetrable fortress that took away any means of self or time...and you sat in traffic.

whenever you were with him, the bad things faded out of view, and when you weren't near his remedial presence, they quickly made themselves known once again.

however, your boyfriend had taught you to appreciate the little things in life. you were composed, calm as you settled into the remotely soft car seat and looked out your window. the sky was like a canvas, warm colors with hues of reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows danced across the dimming sky as the sun bid its final goodbyes...until it would return joyously the next day, like clockwork.

when you finally arrived home, much later than anticipated, you opened the door to the smell of spices and a delicious and piquant scent wafting from the oven, and your boyfriend hard at work in the kitchen.

"you're back!" he said, grinning. carefully setting down the wooden spoon, making sure not even a single drop stained your counters. "i was beginning to worry, you didn't even send me a text..." he faked a pout, only causing your smile to widen.

"i'm sorry, the sunset was so mesmerizing tonight, baby. and i was stuck in traffic." seeing his incredulous glance, you let out a tiny chuckle. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry! in my defense, i thought you were holed up in your studio again, so i assumed you wouldn't even be here..."

"can't do that as much anymore," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. "my baby would miss me too much."

you laughed softly, closing your eyes and feeling yourself get lost in the moment as chan pressed soft kisses along your collarbone and neck.

the little moments like these were the ones where you let yourself go, succumbing to the tranquility of the time spent with him.

you'd fallen so hard, you realized. sometimes you couldn't even believe he was your lover, feeling more akin to some silly school crush whenever you'd get all tongue-tied from his rampant flirting.

this was something more than a crush, though. this feeling of a blooming flower, spreading its vibrant petals far and wide throughout your heart was new. and you...liked it.

...

"where the hell have you been? you're almost alway busy nowadays!" your friend nagged on the phone. "don't tell me that no-good boyfriend of yours is monopolizing all your time...." you tuned her out as her incessant cacophony of yapping made your ears ring. instead, you chose to focus on your boyfriend's eyes, two serene pools of melted chocolate, filled with an elixir of love only for you.

"you're so damn pretty." he commented, staring at you, his lips stretched into a goofy little grin. "i wanna write another song about you."

"another?" you asked, hanging up on your friend. the silence felt heavenly. "you've been writing quite a bit recently, sweetheart...don't you think your fans will start to notice?"

his grin widened.

"see, that's my master plan. i keep all the recordings on my special laptop. therefore, i'll have them without the fans knowing. just for the two of us." he cooed, giving you a quick yet loving kiss. "you should go see ms. screech owl, now. i don't want to prove her point and monopolize your attention...although i really wish i could."

his words played on your heartstrings like a talented violinist, as usual. nowadays, he conducted an entire symphony inside your heart, driving you absolutely crazy.

nearly every waking moment, you felt euphoric, stuck inside a wonderland just for you. chan inhabited every waking thought of yours, and you just couldn't shake him. when he wasn't with you, it felt like a piece of you wasn't there. when he was with you, you felt like you were on cloud nine.

this wasn't normal, you concluded. there was only one possible answer to the scenario you'd entangled yourself in.

this was love, wasn't it?

[mochinon-yah]

— YOUR LOVE.

(Alhaitham x Reader)

Your love was as passionate as the golden light shining through the open windows as you and your lover both lovingly look at each other in the morning. It was like this every single day. No amount of anger, fights, and pettiness could dissolve such wondrous moment from both of your life. You loved him, and he did too. He alone believed that it was an unbreakable fact.

He also remembered how much you loved every other little things in the world. The way your eyes would shine brightly at the sight of a cat. Your cat, to be exact. You always said that its grey fur reminded you of him, even the cat's stoic-like personality was similar to him as well. It was funny, really. He never liked it when people speak nonsense, just like what you did then, but oh boy, did he fell deeper in love with you after you said that. It was truly funny. Love had always been such a foreign concept, yet he tried to learn it as best as he could. He wanted to love you as much as you do to him. But with you now gone, who will be the one to teach him?

He can't let another have a go through his heart. You were already enough. It was only you who could fill that empty abyss of a heart. Knowing that there was no way of bringing you back, he fell into a lonely road of remembrance. He missed you all too well. He missed you every time his consciousness returned after being woken up from his slumber. He missed you. Your warm embrace was now left with him only trying to gain warmth from the sun's light.

From the start of the morning till the end of the moon shining, he missed you. It was just you, you, and you in his mind.

You just loved too much, and it hurts him. The blues, the greens, the greys, and even him. He, who you said was one of the most insufferable men that you've known, was loved by such a charming person. He was loved by none other than you. So, with you now gone, he couldn't quite imagine how hard the pain would inflict itself on him. Ironically enough, it went beyond the imagined.

Maybe that was why he stayed coop up inside his house after the announcement of your death. Maybe that was why all the mirrors inside his house was thrown away into the storage room. Maybe that was why he couldn't look at himself normally anymore. He, himself, reminded him of you. The way you would always compliment his cat-like eyes, his grey hair, and his cold yet warm approach made him stayed in that particular past—not wanting to move into a future where you did not exist. He did not want to exist.

All he wanted now was to be by your side, yet that was impossible. After all, he promised you. He promised to live well, even if you were gone now.

"I tried to live as best as I could, love, but it's hard. With you gone, I feel like the whole world has stopped working too. It was all too sudden, and I was forced to try and accept it. But, I just can't. Now, I'm sitting here on our old couch, looking through the window as the light of the sun hits me once again. Yet, there's something missing. After looking around, i found the problem. It's you, my dear. You are not in my arms, and it pains me to realise that. I cannot live without you, but you made me promise that exact reality. I have to go on living in this pathetic world with you not in it. Ah... I miss you, love, and I miss your love."

- Alhaitham, your beloved.