#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]

[keeps-ache]

gonna keep it shmoovin man

[stabbyfoxandrew]

I'm not forgetting today! Happy WipW Aerie!!

I mean, you know what I'm gonna ask for. Angel Neil? Or Vampdrew? Pretty Please?

Have a great week <3

WIP Wednesday (9/11) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 176)

When Kevin holds out his hand, Andrew's eyes are instantly drawn to the shallow cuts Neil managed to claw into his wrist. Each of them is beaded with quickly drying blood and it's glistening red, like strawberry syrup. He finally drags his gaze back up to Kevin's face. "What did I just say about tempting me?"

"This wasn't on purpose. It's just there," Kevin says, his hand still dangling in front of Andrew's face. "Either you take it or I'm going to wash it down the sink. I know how you feel about wasting."

Andrew's ears twitch as he checks for movement in the rooms around them. It doesn't seem like anyone is on their way into the hallway. Good. Andrew gently takes Kevin's hand and pulls it closer. His fangs drop when the smell hits his nose and he sighs around them. He's actually thirsty now, what with all the excitement. Or ignorance. Whichever way you slice it, Kevin and Neil's little fracas has wet his appetite. But he won't be using his fangs now.

"Close your eyes," Andrew says, to Kevin's immense disappointment. He says it mainly because of the way Kevin is staring down at him with lidded eyes. They're already half-closed so what should it matter? Besides, Andrew doesn't need an audience.

"Do I have to?"

"I'm not giving you visuals of me licking your hand, Kevin. Especially after you've pissed me off," Andrew snaps. When Kevin flinches, Andrew squeezes his hand. "Close your eyes, Kevin."

Kevin lets out a pitiful sound but complies, letting his eyes fall closed. His eyelashes flutter like he wants to open them again. But he won't. At least, he's trying hard not to. Before Andrew can instruct him to, Kevin raises his other hand to place it over them.

"Good," Andrew says. Then he licks along one of the scratches on Kevin's arm. They extend from the middle of his forearm up to the back of his hand. Neil's a fighter, Andrew realizes. Even unable to breathe, he was able to deal this much damage. It's good to know, but Andrew isn't sure why because his brain is reduced to jelly when Kevin's blood is in his mouth. 

He savors each and every drop, lapping languidly at Kevin's perfect blood until at last it's all gone and the scratches are all healed up. The advantages of magical vampire saliva are truly endless. Before Andrew lets him go, he brushes his lips against the back of Kevin's hand in a barely there kiss. A cheap replication of the kiss Kevin gave him earlier. 

He can manage nothing more without giving away his pathetic emotions. He passes his tongue over the back of Kevin’s hand, licking away the kiss and trying to pass it off as a cleaning gesture instead of a caring one. Finally, he takes Kevin's hand away from his mouth and carefully lets it fall to his side. Kevin drops his other hand and his eyes pop open a second later.

"Done?"

[radioheadyaoi]

sometimes, i feel yellow

jjpope fanfiction. angst/fluff. second/first pov. pope centric, jj backstory. taglist: @dreamypope @pope-obx @drspock @playitaagain @bipopeheyward @ronnieweasley @pluto-the-planet1 @shipperssafehaven @jjbaymank (let me know if you want to be added!)

You are on a swing. The world is pushing against you. You are becoming one with the sky, your bones falling to the ground.

This is what what dying feels like. It feels good for a moment, all high and light, then, you swing back down and hit rocks. Everything shatters. Your feet crumple first, the your legs and suddenly your body folds into nothing.

You get back on the swing. You know nothing but infinity. It starts again.

For a moment, you can smell your mother's cooking and you forget you don't have a mother.

There is a hole in your body bandaids cannot fix. You are only a boy, so empty, so drained and filled with nothing. Everything echos inside you and you can't figure how you got so hollow.

Calloused hands, sleep deprived eyes, aching stomachs. This is not living.

It always feels like its about to rain but it never does.

Your lips are chewed raw and there is blood under your nails.

Sometimes you feel a little whole but mostly, it feels broken.

Snapped twigs abandoned on sandy shorelines and gravel paths with entrances marked with war aged trees.

A camera is smashed into the pavement, no more memories.

Everything is licked by fire. The flames don't go out.

You are on a swing. The world is forcing you into the blank sky. Your skin melts and your skeleton is left out to dry.

Everyone has a silhouette. Not you. You leave no mark. You are nothing, as they say.

You can see your childhood home in the distance, behind the garden, close enough to touch but leaning away from you. It does not want you no matter how much you want it.

Your fingers are sticky and for a moment you can't figure out why until you remember you are scratching your skin until your body is covered in blood. Small wounds let out waterfalls.

You can't get off the swing. Your teeth hurt from gum you don't remember chewing. Your mouth tastes like dry clementines and medicine and ash.

The swings stretch for miles but there is only you. (You are utterly alone.) For a second, you wonder whether you can move to another swing. (You stay put, don't bother trying. Maybe next time, when the sky is lighter.)

The air smells like round pasta and tear drenched line paper. Smiles across the skies and mountains that groan in the mornings.

You tumble off the swing, into the wet dirt. You get back up. You start again.

All you know is infinity.

---

JJ smiles when it’s just us.  All happy, too sweet to ignore.  

I feel so slow.  Everything feels so slow.  Neil is trying.  He is smiling, talking more than he always does, making sure I’m not hungry, not cold.

No, I’m okay.  I’m fine. It’s alright.  Don’t worry about me.

He is trying too hard.  He is doing what he thinks I want.  I don’t want that. I want him.

He doesn’t understand.  I want to love all of him.  All the pieces he loves, all the pieces he hates so much he locks them away.  Those pieces deserve love too.

Sometimes I feel yellow.

I am standing in the kitchen, hands on the counter, staring out the window at the sky.

Thick soupy yellows and watery ones that spread far across every little thing.  Corns and suns and sand at the bottom of the ocean. Nail polish and wide skirt dresses and pens and cereal your mother buys.

The oven is beeping.  JJ shuts it off.

He comes in and stands behind me, wraps his arms around my waist, puts his head on my shoulder.  I can feel every breath he breathes out, every sigh. He fits perfectly into me.

I don’t know why I feel this way, nobody else does.  JJ doesn’t ask why.

He is making me see stars.

Him.  Him. Him.

I wanted him to be angry at me for feeling like this. His calm was angry. I wanted JJ to shout, hate me a little in his soul. This was JJ. Only angry sometimes, never at me.

He kissed the palms of my hands and held them tight.

"Its okay," he says. "To be upset."

I hate this feeling that's inside me. I hate his calm.

My body slumps and I fall into JJ. My cheeks are all hot. The room is too hot. He doesn't try and kiss me but I wish he would. He tells me to breath instead.

One two three. One in one out. Again again again.

JJ cares. Its strange to think how someone like JJ, drowned in loss and broken things, can try again just to love me. Hold me tighter tighter tighter, trying. (That's the wonder of it, isn't it? He tries.)

He is fixing my broken pieces.

---

There are three freckles on his hip bone. Three small boats in an ocean of skin. I kiss them all.

He traces over the crescent scar on my back. JJ is all fuzzy around the edges, cheeks flushed from the wine we shared. He gets like this, all soft and lazy, tired, eyes barely open, mouth slightly closed. I kiss all the giggles off his mouth.

"Where did you get this," he asks.

"My grandfather's stupid fucking dog," I say. He laughs.

Love is not all knowing. It tries to be. It is all naked, trying to understand all the mysteries under skin and veins.

There's a scar on his wrist. I don't want to know where it's from

(Before, when I couldn't sleep, I would stare up at the ceiling, out the window, go downstairs and listen to the kitchen shake. Now, I can turn into JJ and let him hold me. Love has made me soft.)

I cannot sleep.

"What's this," I ask JJ, pointing to the almost round scar on his cheek. Its impossibly small but I'm surprised I never noticed it. There's one by his ear too, that I didn't see before this.

JJ smells like sunken ships devoured by waves and clean bed sheets. (This is my favorite smell.) There's dirt under his nails. There's a lake in his eyes.

JJ smiles all sad, like rain, shrugs the best he can. That's all I get.

Everything feels like a secret.

"Can I show you something?" JJ asks. I nod. I wasn't sleeping anyways.

He pulls me out of bed. He's wearing my sweater.

---

Everything is covered in goosebumps.

In the clearing of trees behind the house, there is three gravestones, one brand new, the others crumbling with time. The crack in the forest opens up to new winds. I shiver. This feels like an unhealed wound, glowing red, on cold skin.

There's a tombstone for someone named Molly. Aged eleven.

JJ says nothing. I turn to the other grave. The leaves crack under my shoes.

"My father died after Molly did. He had been dying a long time but she finished him off." No sadness in his voice. I can taste the spice from dinner on my lips and wonder, only for a second, if JJ can too.

"My mother died just after I met you." I can't figure out why he's telling me this, especially now, when I am trying to find sleep. The urge to vomit bubbles in my throat, I fight it back down into my stomach. He grabs my hand and I grib it tight. I wish I had a coat.

We stand there. I turn, kiss him. I can taste the wind in his mouth.

---

I dream. I do not want to.

Are you drowning in the ocean or in his eyes?

There's a cake on the table, perfectly decorated. I sit down, take a bite. The icing cracks and the floor breaks.

I need to grab something. There is nothing. Something creaks, I don't know what. The sky is black, the dirt is orange. I vomit. Flowers sprout.

There is no JJ, only the jacket he likes. I put it on. I am warm. The ground steadies, just a little. My head stops spinning.

Running. I am running from something.

I stop. There is nothing behind me.

A girl is sitting by the pool. Long hair the color of the stars, her dress dipping into the ground. She smells like cherry ice pops and watermelon juice. She smiles. Her voice sounds like thunder.

"Are you drowning in the ocean or in his eyes?"

I can see the freckles in his hip, the three little boats.

In his eyes, I think.

---

I wake up.

I remember, when I first moved in, I did not love him because I did not know him.  I loved what he did for me, the risk he took by letting me in, letting me stay.  We fell into routine. He made dinner on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. I made dinner Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  We went out on Saturday and ordered in whenever we felt lazy. I did laundry at the end of the week and he did his smack dab in the middle.  His clothing mixed into mine and we did it all in one load. He let me pick whichever room I wanted and stay up as late as I wanted and drive the car, all I had to do was ask. 

Everything finally felt good.  

We mixed well together.

I remember when he took me out, finally, after waiting for so long.

Halfway through dinner, JJ had spoken up.

“Would you like to go on a date?”

There’s a bruise on his cheek, a brown flower, that wasn’t there last night.  

Dinner is soup.  My turn. I didn’t go out to get another and there wasn’t much in the kitchen.  We needed to go grocery shopping.  

“With you?”  He nodded. I stuttered.  “Sure, where?”

JJ had shrugged  “I can figure something out,” he said   “Unless you have an idea.” I shook my head.  I’ve only been on one or two dates. I don’t know what people like to do.  

I didn't say anything else.  He said: “Are you free tonight?”  I can only nod. This whole interaction is so odd.  It’s not the kind of thing I would ever expect from JJ, or anyone else.

I lied.  I’ve never been on any dates.

JJ smiled at me then, a real one.  A rare occurrence, but always a welcome one.  

I don’t want to spend the rest of dinner in silence so I say:  “We need groceries.” JJ nodded.

“Anything specific?”  He asked.

“Well, I had a few ideas for my days, and then whatever you want.”

Jesus Christ.  So domestic, like a married couple that still loves each other.  “Make sure to get two loaves of bread. We eat them too quickly.”  He smiled. I offered a half lipped smile back, not reaching my eyes, though I pray he doesn’t notice.  

He goes off, talking about a book, something that happened, I can’t tell.  He laughs and I join in, only half alert of the story he’s telling. He throws up his arms to gesture to something and I nod.  He feels so alive.

I had never wanted to be loved by anyone more.

We're disasters, him and I.

---

I go back to sleep. I dream. There is a corn maze.

---

I walk to the maze, take a deep breath and step inside.

Every outside sound disappears.  I can only hear the plants moving in the wind and the sound of my own breath.  The wind feels a little colder and something clicks in my head. It’s an ocean of calm, the fields grown high enough to frame the sky.  It’s just you and heaven. Alone.

(I don’t like alone.  But I like this.)

This is not fall.  This is winter in an orange coat.  Autumn is thick with family. Winter takes the long path home, all alone.  Everything smells like dirt.

Everything everything everything.  This is the only word I know.

Go home, the wind is saying.  What is home. Is it JJ or is it with Mom?  Is it the town? Does it not exist?

I go home.  Wherever that is.

---

It's morning. All I can think of is Molly. Why he never mentioned it, and why then.

JJ smiles. He is made of secrets.

He is homes and I am drowning in his eyes.

[ageofevermore]

the full moon is coming videos here , here

other miscellaneous irl blurbs here

enjoy 6k+ words of me getting carried away, then abruptly ending this blurb

Emma was slightly uneasy, fueled with maternal anxieties as she sipped on a chilled water bottle. She had swiped it from Sprayberry's clutches minutes ago, and the poor boy had yet to realize it. They were all severely jet-lagged, hardly awake yet but managing with their ever growing excitement. Her hand was clutched in Ellery's, a grin on her face as the two of them chattered endlessly. They had caught the same flight over to France, but even spending so many hours in a confined space proved to do them no harm. Dylan had tuned them out hours ago, using the baby as an excuse to be distracted. Emma hadn't fought him much on that, thankful to have a few hours to herself while her best friend and Dylan fussed over the five month old.

To say that luxury was short lived was majorly overlooked. The minute they landed Dylan and Ellery were ushered off to another section of the airport, Emma and Logan being led to customs. The baby had been fussy for hours after that, and despite Logan tagging along to help out, nothing had calmed Everly besides her mothers attentive touch. Emma was officially running on four hours of sleep, and she wasn't sure how her eyelids even managed to stay open.

She had left Logan and Everly in the hotel room just a few blocks from the convention center earlier that morning, pre-ordering her friend a coffee as a gesture of thanks. Not every twenty-year-old jumped at the chance of taking a fifteen hour flight to France only to be a babysitter.

"Makeup did a good job." Ellery teased, laughing when Emma dug her fingertips into her sides, a taunting grin on her face that had them both in fits of delirious laughter. They pulled apart quickly after, rummaging through the pile of French candies and snacks.

When they got the two minute signal, both girls grabbed a handful of hard candy, letting it fall into their mouths without much care. Dylan had witnessed it occur, rolling his eyes at his sister and his best, maybe more then friend, friend.

They had a steady thing going since well before Everly's birth, but only after did Dylan truly prove he wasn't just in it for the chase. He had stayed over on nights when Emma had begged him to just go home and be a normal kid on her behalf. He had changed diapers at three in the morning, and sat through breastfeeding's at four without complaint. He had been her rock for months now, and steadily both of them were craving more.

"How are you late?" Emma asked Holland around a mouthful of pastel candy, "Isn't your hotel the closest?" Holland wrinkled her nose at the sight, painfully accustomed to Emma's delirious habits.

"We got lost." Holland exclaimed, "Took a left when we should have went straight, and then when we should have made a right we went straight."

Emma rolled her eyes, swallowing the mouthful of candy before bringing Holland in for a tight hug. She hadn't seen much of the redhead in recent months, being cooped up in her apartment with Dylan and occasionally her friends from back in Jersey. She was taking her time settling into the whole parenting routine, but she would never miss an opportunity for fan interaction.

When they were lined up to start heading out, Sprayberry had finally noticed Emma clutching his water bottle, the sharpie painted cap rubbing off on her fingertips as she fiddled with it. He snatched it back, taking a swig, before handing it back.

"Could've just asked." He teased.

"That wouldn't have been as fun. Besides, you're oblivious when your tired." Emma concluded, cheekily taking another sip of the water and finishing it off. She threw it out, having just enough time to smooth down her shirt before they were being called out on stage.

Ryan went out first, then Dylan, Ellery, Megan, Emma, Crystal, Holland, and Shelley. It was a line-up of one badass women after another, which didn't happen very often in the land of teen wolf conventions. The show wasn't totally male dominated, but the numbers were slightly uneven when it came to promotion.

Emma took her seat between Crystal and Megan, smiling widely at the two. Crystal gave her hands a few squeezes before dropping them and grabbing the water bottle given to her by a stagehand.

Emma pulled out her phone, sending Logan a text as the moderator asked Crystal, Megan, and Ellery about their experience and exposure to France. She was answered immediately with a picture of her munchkin. The bright blue eyes of her baby were slowly earning speckles of darker blue and brown, but her large gummy grin was still the same even behind a pacifier. Her tan onesie decorated with skin tone colored rainbows was undone at the bottom, a recent habit Everly was getting into.

Crystal had leaned over just in time to see the picture, cooing in Emma's ear as she typed out a response before putting her phone away, giving the fans her undivided attention. She looked up at Crystal with a grin, glad to be reunited with the girl.

It wasn't long before they were getting into fan questions, and the interpreter was listening intently. "She wants to know what you miss the most."

"The long hours of work. I miss that, seriously." Dylan exclaimed after a moment of his drawn out um, "I miss having purpose." He joked, Emma couldn't help but roll her eyes at him, although she did miss the long nights. Anytime you created relationships on set and then put them to the test during fraturdays or fifteen hour shoots was always exhilarating.

"People." Holland sang, "I think you miss the people, I miss JR and Ian acting like they're an old married couple." Holland paused when the crowd erupted into screams, a smile breaking her lips. "Right, you know what I'm taking about? I genuinely actually miss that."

Emma grinned, nodding her head at the many memories of JR and Ian's bickering.

"I miss school. During night shots, taking math tests at three in the morning. It sounds like absolute torture, and it was, many tears were shed in that room, but it was always unofficial crackhead shit. I think I gave Spray a concussion one time." Emma grinned, biting down on her bottom lip when laughter arose at her answer. Sprayberry didn't miss a beat though, having been waiting for this moment for at least three years.

It was nearly four in the morning during season six, the both of then were slowly finishing up their senior year, and through delirium they'd decided yoga would be a good idea. They had gotten half way through the first pose before Emma slipped off of his shoulders and the both of them tumbled to the ground. Jeff hadn't let them in the room together for nearly a month after that.

"You did! I was out of choreo for a week." He fed into the microphone.

"It wasn't a life threatening injury, you're fine." She rolled her eyes, before looking at the crowd who. The majority was teenage girls, and they were all collectively giggling at the banter. "He's fine."

Emma turned her head, sticking her tongue out at Sprayberry before she fell back in her seat laughing. Their dynamic had never changed, though being surrounded by old friends had brought out a spark that had been slowly fading with time and adulthood.

"Shelley, would you like to say something?" The moderator questioned, taking Shelley's elaborate hand gestures as her wanting to say something. Emma grinned at the shocked expression on her face before she covered it up.

"The people." She mused, "I miss the people, I miss catching up with them. I miss you guys." Shelley smiled earning cheers to go around the room.

Emma looked down at her phone, seeing the screen light up beneath her leg. From the way it was positioned she could see that it was Logan sending her pictures, she could only assume Everly was being a little shit and using her time away from Emma to meet new milestones.

"Hi, um, what was your favorite scene to film?" A fan asked. Emma had missed this, it hadn't been too long since she'd had this kind of exposure, but it wasn't as painfully frequent as it once was. Emma could never find a medium she liked, always bending more towards a side then a middle.

"My favorite scenes to film were also the worst scenes to film, whenever we had huge ensemble because they would take forever. But it was also fun because everyone was in the scene, so there was a lot of goofing off and having fun. But you would shoot certain scenes for weeks, it felt like, at least days, but your at least having fun with the same people, just like up here. We can all have fun when we're not being professional."

Dylan leaned over the look in his blue eyes gleaming as he knew his voice wouldn't be carried far into the audience because he didn't have a mic, "Do you know how to be professional?"

It was a joke from years ago, one that hadn't been brought up in at least a few months. Emma grinned leaning forward just the same, the glint in her eyes dangerous with energy, "I'll cut your balls off."

The both of them laughed as they leaned back. They weren't sure why that had been so funny, but filming season four had lead to it's creation one morning between Tuesday and Wednesday. Emma was pretty she had been nearly asleep with her head in Sprayberry's lap when he made the joke, and her groggy response had been a tad violent.

Megan was still laughing when she started explaining her answer, being handed a microphone from Holland so the audience could hear her. Crystal glanced over at Emma, sharing a meaningful look with the girl. She was always very put together during panels, the least likely of the cast to go off on wild rants of what happened behind the scenes.

"Yeah that being said, I love to do all my own stunts. Although, that being said, I don't do all my own stunts, my stunt double was amazing, but I kind of love being physical especially because most of those scenes are at night, so it wakes you up it makes you be very aware. But, yeah, those were my favorite scenes. The stunt work, and also, so this question comes up a lot and were asked a lot, and every single time that I'm asked I feel like my scenes always change, and I just thought about the scene in the pilot Holland with you and Emma, at the lacrosse game?" Crystal smiled, at the memory that resurfaced. The pilot was so long ago, filmed nearly nine years ago, but memories were still so vivid.

"Oh yeah." Holland grinned, Emma smiled at the memory.

"You were so brilliant in that scene." Crystal grinned, "But it was the first time that we got to hang out as like normal people. I don't know, it was a great scene with you guys." She grinned, making heart pumping motions with her hands when the crowd awed.

"During that scene about lacrosse I was just talking about getting fired before i had basically even been hired, like, i just hope i make it for a second season, you don't understand, you don't understand. So that's what we were -- that's what I was complaining to Crystal and Em about in the bleachers during that scene." Holland laughed, "But yeah that was a fun scene."

"It was cold too!" Emma added, "Holland and I were in mini skirts and booty shorts."

"It was so cold." Holland agreed, "And, this is a zinger, Atlanta hadn't had a lot of production at that point so there's certain tricks when your filming in cold weather to wear like under lays, and we didn't have those under layers. So we were so bitterly cold during our pilot." Holland looked over at Crystal who was nodding along to her story, a smile breaking her lips when another memory struck Holland, "And our trailer caught on fire, hair and makeup, so we had to get the hell out of dodge."

Shelley grabbed the microphone from Holland a blank gleam in her eyes, "Shit, I was listening to you guys I haven't been thinking. I really enjoy, I'll say since it's who I basically started working with, Dylan O'Brien--" The crowd went up into cheers at just the mention of his name and Emma grinned, "Yeah, that was really my first taste of Teen Wolf and he was just a great scene partner, and obviously we had so much fun, to much fun. I think we laughed, you know,  mostly when you're not supposed to. But you know, our scenes always turned out different then I think either of us expected, and there was always some cool, weird thing that would happen, I don't know." Shelley waved off her answer, clearly having initially pulled it from her ass with being on the spot.

"Ellery, Emma, do you have anything?" The moderator asked so she knew if she could begin translating what what already been said.

"I like the scene in Motel California with Ro, Posey," Emma stressed, she had referred to him as Ro, or Rosie multiple times before, but it wasn't an obvious give away that she was referring to Tyler and that often slipped her mind. "When Ellie says she loves him, that was a sweet moment. I don't know that's the only one I can remember, I blocked the first three seasons out and then season six was overrun with spiders."

Ellery had started talking before she was even offered a microphone, her soft voice picking up when Dylan shoved on into her hands. "We had to do a scene in my episode, where we were like fighting. We had to like, get in each others face, I don't think you got it, but it was like really funny."

"Like real life." Shelley interjected.

"Yeah. Exactly! Cause we don't really fight," Sprayberry shrugged his shoulders, and Ellery rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Maybe a little bit, maybe sometimes. It was fun though, cause we actually felt like real siblings."

Dylan grabbed the microphone from Ellery, his lips pinching upwards in a smirk. "We never feel like we're siblings unless we're on a TV show." Emma rolled his words, knowing full well that Dylan adored his little sister more then anything else in the world, although she had an itching suspicion that her baby was beginning to take Ellery's place. "Yeah that was fun because they let us improve a lot which was cool. Um, my favorite scenes are the easy ones. No, uh, the i fell in a hole scene is really popular, I guess. That's one of my favorite scenes that i did film because that started a whole new part of my character, and that opened up the comedic side of my character because before that I was just playing angry, and emotional all the time, and it got kind of tiring, and if by doing that it allowed people to see my character in a different light..."

Emma had tried to follow Spray's words, but she drifted off in thought when he phone buzzed again. Was it Everly? She was sure Logan would have called or gotten into contact with her PA for the day, but she couldn't help but worry. She had taken Everly all over, but never had they been separated in a foreign country. Mom guilt was beginning to eat her up inside, but she forced a smile onto he lips and took a peak down at her phone. She breathed out a sigh, seeing that it was just a picture of Everly, her hands and knees pressed to the floor as she mastered the art of crawling.

"If there had been a season seven, would you have wanted to be in it?" The moderator translated. It was a unanimous answer instantly, heads bobbing and yes's being mumbled into the microphones.

"Do you have any new projects?"

Dylan looked around, seeing that everyone was busy in their own little side conversation so he began to mumble before finding an answer, "Do you guys know Hulu?"

"Light as a feather!" A girl yelled from the audience, attempting to do an American accent but sounding overly southern. Emma giggled, pushing a few strands of hair from her eyes before looking over towards Dylan.

He went over what it was, looking between Ellery and Ryan every few words. He never was good at press, which made Emma wonder why he ranted and raved about it after every convention.

"Anybody else?"

Emma accepted the microphone from Shelley, "I have a movie called After out next year. That's all I can say."

The stage went silent once more, the remaining actors around Emma all either happily our of work or actively looking. "Anyone else have new projects they would like to talk about?"

"No." Shelley exclaimed, "We're retired."

The moderator began to translate when Emma pinched her eyebrows together, turning towards Megan with a small frown, "You have a project." She nudged her gently, her lips turning upwards into a smirk when Megan began to fiddle with her fingers.

Megan had collected a rainstorm of applause for her new gig on Charmed, and Emma smiled, poking at the girl with a taunting grin. Megan laughed and the two fell into each other, whispering about nonsense while the panel moderator directed attention to Shelley.

"Ryan just reminded me about a role I've been on hold for, um, but it's to play a former beauty queen and former addict, so fingers crossed."

"True life story." He mumbled into the mic, watching Shelley's cheeks heat up.

"Miss Teen USA 2004." Emma projected, grinning widely when Shelley flipped her off. That had been a constantly running joke between them for years, she couldn't help but break away into little giggles and grins.

"It's based on my life." She admitted, "I'm not a former addict though." Shelley mimicked downing a glass of alcohol and Emma laughed loudly, mumbling an apology as she giggled into her knees.  

The next question was about their preferred favorite season, and the audience had gone into a fit of sadness after Crystal answer 3b. Emma frowned as well, recalling the hardships they had all went through while filming and bringing to life such a traumatic event. Her own character, Ellie, had been a wreck for nearly an entire season to follow. It was an arc Emma loved playing out, having been in that position one to many times before facing the death of a multiple loved ones, but it had also put a pause on the independent women her character was becoming.

She had answered with season four, for that exact reasoning, and than handed the microphone off to Megan. She laughed when Megan answered with season 3b and 4, and then went on about how those seasons were the tipping point when the fandom hated her for taking Derek away.

Dylan grabbed the microphone from Ellery after she answered season 6b by default. "I swear to god, if you don't say season five!" She warned.

"I liked doing 6A and 6B." Emma gasped at his answer, leaning forward to grab at the the small multi-colored hard candies, pelting them towards him aggressively. They showered down on him and Ellery, and the latter of the pair laughed loudly.

Dylan threw the candy back at Emma, his smile wide and taunting as the girl flipped him off with a playful glare. "Why season six?" She demanded to know. "It was literally full of spiders."

DAY 2

Emma had gotten more sleep tonight, thankfully. She hadn't gone to the party with the rest of the cast, instead turning in for a quiet night in her hotel room with her baby and best friend. Logan had been more then happy to have Emma with her as the two of them watched Disney movies, hardly caring that although their excuse for watching children's movies was the baby in the room, Everly was more interested in her feet then she was Tinkerbell and Elsa.

She was in between Holland and Sprayberry for the group panel that morning, sipping on a Starbucks refresher while the moderator asked about the party. Logan had gotten up with Everly just before six thirty, surprising Emma with a few extra minutes of sleep and a refreshing wakeup call.

Dylan reached for the cup, eyeing the light pink liquid. He had ordered for Emma many times before, usually supplying the younger girl with a strawberry lemonade but her drink was evolving by the month it seemed. Emma rolled her eyes playfully, handing the cup to Dylan and watching as her quizfully took a sip. He scrunched his nose up at first, but went in for another gulp and decided it wasn't as bad as he initially thought.

When asked what their favorite line was, the answers were immediate without any need to think, "Deer." Shelley exclaimed.

"A girls gotta eat."

"I fell in a hole."

Emma couldn't help but giggle at the memory, grabbing the microphone from Dylan's hand, "Always." She turned to give the microphone to Holland, sending the redhead a wink considering that line was almost always directed towards her.

"What the hell is a Stiles."

"We protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Ellery's answer was lame, but in the blondes defense she had only made an appearance in one episode. Emma just grinned, to busy making weird faces at Dylan through her impressive fit of energy. She had slept great considering the three am feeding, as well as being in an entirely different country and a hotel bed.

The two of them weren't paying as much attention as they should've been, breaking out into grins when they finally pulled their attention from their moment of weird expressions to listen to the moderator.

Froy had answered the question first, not missing a beat when he lifted the microphone to his mouth and claimed that in his free time he liked to do auditions for other projects. Shelley praised his efforts, her and Emma sharing a mutual distaste for the audition process. Most actors hated auditioning, feeling unnatural and like a ridiculed prop, but it was a necessary evil most times. Emma was convinced there was no better news then when her agent calls and tells her about a role she would only have to chemistry read for.

"What we like to do?" Ryan asked, "I like to get drunk and play with cats." He easily shrugged at the answer and Emma had to hide her grin. She had witnessed a hungover Ryan playing with animals on many occasions, and the sight never failed to be adorable.

It was no shock to Emma when Ellery answered wrestling and Crystal answered cooking. It had been a few weeks since she'd managed to take the drive to Crystal's place, but almost every night she was sent a new recipe that she said she would try and almost never did. Crystal knew this of course, but she also knew although Emma lied through her teeth about commitment, she enjoyed the texts and thought of somebody having her on their mind.

"Reading, hiking, I like the outdoors, the mountains in particular. So, I'll do a lot of audio books when I hike, and I camp. I love camping, so that's usually where I am." Holland grinned before handing the microphone off to Emma.

"I love sleeping." She exclaimed, a goofy grin on her face at the idea. "Usually, I'm hanging out with my baby, or this goon. Sometimes I'll take a random dance class." She nudged a thumb at Dylan, the two of them practically roommates. It wasn't often that Emma spent the night alone with Everly, having to force Dylan back to his own house so there was at least a small reason for him to be paying monthly bills and utilities.

She handed the microphone to Dylan, smiling softly at him before taking another sip of her drink. The way Dylan was sitting looked either genius level comfortable or completely horrible for his joints. She wouldn't be surprise if in a few minutes he'd start complaining about his tailbone or his back, but for the moment he was completely spaced out thinking of an answer.

"Um, I like doing Muay Thai, and wrestling, and I like reading. And um, spending time with this goon." He returned the favor, his grin sheepish when he snapped his gaze to Emma who was playfully rolling her eyes and kicking at his leg with her vans covered foot. Neither one of them missed the way Shelley excitedly gasped at their answers. The pair couldn't go a day without Shelley asking if they'd made it official yet.

Emma was sure she wouldn't say no if Dylan asked, but the guilt of tying him down with a kid at twenty-years-old was a lot of process. She was still only nineteen, they had so much life to live.

Megan took the microphone from Dylan, "Exercising. I just got into yoga, I also just got into Barry's bootcamp which is some intense stuff, and I also just also, also just also, I'm really tired, um, I got into cooking as well, I got into hors d'oeuvres, just getting all into that. And yeah, auditioning. I hate it, but it's what I do in my free time."

"Lucky." Shelley exclaimed when she grabbed the microphone, Emma laughed, shaking her head at the girl. They'd spent many nights curled up on Shelley's bed, or in Emma's, just talking about what the future held for them creatively. It wasn't like their opportunities were limited, rather the work offered way dry. It was either to far fetched from themselves, to boringly similar, or a role to close to one they'd played before. "I love to dance, and uh, I mean, Spanish, duolingo my app."

Emma and Dylan were once again in their own world. They were energized on sleep, Dylan getting an extra boost from the coffee he sipped tenderly. Emma had never really gotten into drinking it, though Holland had tried on multiple occasions to pass her an americano while on set. Kicking at him a little to hard, Emma flinched when she missed his leg and instead rammed her foot into the leg of his chair.

Sprayberry doubled over in laughter whilst Emma pouted, attempting to nurse the ache in her toes but distracting herself with the Starbucks refresher in her hands. She hadn't been kicking him all that hard, just little taps that would become annoying, which was her goal, but apparently the chair had other opinions of her pestering.

The next question was about what era they'd like the live in. Emma's answer hadn't changed since she was seven years old, the nineties being a time she would have liked to experience, or at least remember, because she couldn't deny that she did technically live during them, although it was as an infant.

"The sixties." Shelley answered.

"Considering my ancestry, right now. For free." Megan exclaimed and Emma couldn't help but giggle, though the weight of her statement weighed true and was something Emma thought about too frequently. She was a person of color living in America, but despite her mixed heritage she wasn't called out as often as her dark-skinned colleges and friends, but that didn't mean she was free of any racist interactions.

"Now might be the best time." Dylan agreed, "Um, I would say the nineties, what no! Like the early nineties, when nirvana was a big thing. Like I wish I lived in Seattle when those bands were all around because they were all friends and I would have liked to be apart of a band like that. Now all music is shit. Let me know how it was, yeah." He laughed.

"Is it cool if I say the nineties too? I don't have good reasoning, I just want to know what the hype was about Blockbuster."

"Did you never go to a blockbuster?" Ryan asked, leaning forward in his chair so his voice traveled to Emma.

"No, it was a, here's Netflix, kind of thing."

"When were you born?" His eyes were wide in shock now, clearly interested in the upbringing Emma had considering she hadn't even visited a blockbuster.

"End of ninety-eight." Emma grinned at his exasperated face, "So I have probably been to a blockbuster, but not that I can remember."

Holland had a blissfully teasing glint in her green eyes when Emma turned towards her and offered her the microphone. It was a given to be picked at because of her age. Being twelve and working with twenty and thirty-year-olds just came with the teasing territory. She didn't mind though, usually because Holland always came to set the next day with random products from the nineties, claiming it was to further educate Emma, when really it was just to give her an excuse to buy them on amazon at two am.

The next question wasn't as light hearted, a girl standing up and asking what advice they had for somebody that's sad. Emma had figured out from personal experience that when a question like that is asked it's never for somebody else or conspired out of the blue, it's somebody that's going through a hard time and needs to hear something other then their own internal monologue.

Froy and Ryan had given inklings of advice whilst Emma was in her own head, trying to find words that could soothe. She had faced depressive episodes that lasted weeks and months, and she had felt sadness that lasted days. The two wore different faces, but often they were confused and shoved into the same category. It was a category that not many social outlets or people liked to touch upon.

"I think it is important to realize it is completely fine to feel sad, it's not a bad thing, in fact it only feels really bad when we try to actively push it away. Some of the most beautiful literature, and poetry, and art, and exploration has come from people feeling sad, and in fact if we didn't feel sad we wouldn't know what it would be to feel happiness. If we didn't have heartbreak we wouldn't know what extreme love would feel like, sadness is apart of our human experience and it's something we need to experience, and I think that when you accept okay, I feel sad today, and you don't try to actively push against it lightens it. I think it's just important to realize we actually need it, and it can provide great perspective if you let it, and learn from it."  Crystal spoke, her words hitting Emma deeply. She knew the feeling of denial all to well, and pushing aside what she was actually feeling had been a default reflex since before she could remember. It had gotten so bad at one point, there had been a time when she couldn't even name what happiness was. She had pushed everything away to the point where she felt numb.

Emma accepted the microphone from Holland after the girl shared, her heart heavy at the topic they were touching at, "I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was eleven and depression when I was thirteen. I think what helped me the most was looking at it from the perspective that shit happens. I think it's so ignorant when people assume you're incapable of functioning with a mental illness, or being medicated is the only way to deal with it. Letting yourself feel anything that's not happiness has such a negative stigma in society, and you're fed bullshit by so many outlets. I just take a step back from it all. When I have the time to stay home, I stay home. Sometimes I sit in silence for days, and I don't talk to anybody. It's just about finding what works for you."

Emma didn't think twice about handing the microphone off to Dylan. She had never been opposed to talking about her own struggles, but it was a conversation controversial to some, and her emotions were so heavily guarded it was hard to express them at times. Sprayberry offered Emma a genuine smile before he tried to find his own remedies at the tip of his tongue.

She didn't really listen to much to what her other former cast-mates said, busy picking at the skin around her nails and starring off into the audience. Miniscule details were catching her attention, her heart beating in her ears. She wasn't good at being vulnerable, or listening to other people being vulnerable. She had gotten better at it, but it was still able to make her antsy.

That was the last question of the panel, and happily Emma accepted Dylan's hand when he helped her down the stage stairs. His touch had brought her out of the distracted daze she'd fallen into, but the topic still weighed heavily on her. She pulled her phone from the waistband of her pants, frowning curiously when she noticed that Logan hadn't sent her any messages.

When they rounded the corner to a green room, Emma was slightly taken aback to see Logan smiling sheepishly. Her baby was wide away, suckling on a pacifier and playing with her fingers, no sign of a nap in her wide blue eyes.

"You left with my phone." Logan held up the phone in her hands, proving to Emma that the phone she'd been checking all morning hadn't been her own. She hadn't even realized that the case and background was different, to caught up with everything else going on. "And I couldn't get into yours, because you changed the password, again."

Ellery and Dylan both made an advance for the baby at the same time, glaring at each other childishly. Everly didn't mind the attention though, soft coos falling from around her pacifier.

"Did she nap at all?" Emma sighed, switching Logan's phone for her own when she came close enough to the blonde. "I swear if you leave me with an overtired baby later, I'll have your head."

Logan rolled her eyes, "Princess here decided she wanted to sleep until ten this morning." Emma gaped at the news, looking over at her baby with a betrayed gleam. Dylan had her cuddled up into his chest, hands softly caressing's her thin and fragile hair.

"Ten?" Emma whined. She was lucky if Everly slept in past seven. She had quickly learned how to do basic house chores with a baby on in her embrace. "You going to head back to the hotel?"

Logan had mentioned a trip to the shops yesterday, so Emma wouldn't be surprised if she came back to the hotel later and her daughter had an entirely new wardrobe. Logan didn't even need to answer for Emma to roll her eyes. "Don't buy all of France, please." She bargained.

"I'll try not to babes." Logan reached for Everly, hardly bothered by the teary gleam she received. "Say bye to Mommy." Emma pressed a kiss to the babies head before Logan and Evie were gone again, off to spend too much money on tiny shoes and clothes.

Her mood had improved greatly, turning to give Dylan a wide grin and pull him over to the large stack of sweets. Shelley was already rummaging through them with Froy, extending a chocolate covered wafer to Emma the second she approached.

This was exactly the place she wanted to be.