#'wait is oc supposed to mean of course??' NO. I FULLY MADE THAT UP 100% RIGHT NOW TO PROVE A POINT

[crimeronan]

the actual empirical reason why "ofc" means "of course" and always has is because you could use it on neopets when the term "lmao" was banned circa 2006 to 2009ish. anyone who decided it means 'of fucking course' did so within the last decade and is using revisionist linguistics. Know Your Internet History. Do Not Cite The Deep Magic To Me Etc

but it's also because fucking nobody uses "oc" to mean "of course" so if someone types "ofc" that's..... because it means "of course." because if you want to abbreviate of course, you don't use oc. because oc is not an understood linguistic abbreviation.

and if you mean "of fucking course" then that's fine. however if you insist that the acronym always means that and always has, then my question is: what abbreviation do you use to mean 'of course,' HMM. oh, it's NOT oc?? but i thought the f in ofc was for the Fuck word?? so surely we should be writing 'of course' as oc if we want to abbreviate it???? CURIOUS 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐

[jiminspjm]

Seins + M. Yoongi

❋ “my boobs look like mosquito bites.”

⇢ characters : demon!min yoongi x oc [established relationship]

⇢ rated: [m] mature audiences

⇢ genre: angst, fluff, smut, slice of life, action, slow burn, fantasy, humor

⇢ glossary: unprotected sexual intercourse [dont be silly wrap ur willy], nipple play, dirty talk, slight dom!yoongi [he is actually a softie shh], slight tit slapping, spanking, grinding, oral [f recieivng], piercings.. ahem, squiriting, this is basically just filthy, impregnation kink [slight], rough-ish sex, cum, cum & cum, creampie, is that it?? oh aftercare too lol

⇢ index: 5.4k

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You wouldn’t call yourself an insecure person. Not even when Lily Yang said your chest looked like ant hills in the seventh grade, or when Lee Hyun said your ass was flatter than a piece of paper your freshman year. Children are brutal. You probably did squats for a year straight until genetics kicked in and you actually got an ass, and Lee apologized and you told him that his dick looked like a shrimp. Anyway, genetics graced your ass but sadly your boobs looked like a deflated balloon. Honestly if you could, you would get a boob job. Yoongi said no, and his reasoning was because he didn’t feel like sucking on plastic. But also because your nipples are so sensitive and he thinks its cute that your tits fit in the palm of his hand.

Okay, so maybe you were insecure every time you went to the beach and you saw girls with perky boobs, all bouncing and bubbly, and eyeing your boyfriend like a fresh piece of meat. You try not to show it because Yoongi said he will spank you until your ass is bright red anytime you comment something about boobs. It's a win win, in some situations. But god dammit you can’t help but feel insecure when your boyfriend is sex on legs. You are deep in thought as you sit with your best friend Cho at your favorite café on a particularly hot summer day. A thought comes to mind causing you to look at Cho who is sipping on her coffee.

“Cho what if I got nipple piercings?” You said, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, looking at the baristas bustling around the café.

Cho choked on her green tea latte, short coughs came from her mouth and she tried to choke down the liquid. You started at her, stirring your straw in your iced mocha.

“I-I’m sorry, what?” she finally got out, a rasp in her tone and she held her hand up to her chest. You looked at her, eyeing the dark hair that fell from her ponytail.

“Yeah. I mean, I dunno, what have I got to lose?” You shrugged, bringing the straw up to your lips.

“Uh, how about a nipple?” Cho said, smacking her palm on the table, eyes wide as she looked at you. You held back a snort, as you leaned back in your chair. Your eyes wandered to Cho’s supple chest, constrained by her white tube top. “Babe I really don’t understand why you’re so insecure…” Cho mumbled, bringing her drink up to her mouth.

Rolling your eyes, you pouted at her. “I’m not. Well maybe. It’s just my chest is small. I don’t know what difference having nipple piercings would make.” You spoke truthfully. Cho sighed, placing her cup back down on the ceramic plate.

“I mean, that's the point, what difference would it make. if that’s But what you want. You’re a grown ass woman,” Cho spoke, picking at her nails. Your eyes widened, surprised she actually encouraged you to do it.

“You’re serious?” You asked incredulously. Leaning across the table. She nodded, poking your nose.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. I’m sure Yoongi will like them,” Cho said, a smirk rising to her face and warmth seeping over yours. You quickly parked your bottom back on your seat, the legs scraped quietly across the scuffed wood flooring. You thought of your boyfriend Yoongi, who was currently running errands in hell.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Min Yoongi, first in line to the throne in hell, successor of his brother Kim Seokjin. Bleached hair, tattooed, piercings, no filter, but really the softest baby ever. You practically look like my little pony next to him. It wasn’t an odd occurrence for supernatural beings to roam the earth, in fact Cho was speaking to a friend of Yoongi, someone by the name of Kim Taehyung, a water nymph.

You were surprised when Yoongi asked you to be his girlfriend, of course you said yes. It’s been 4 years now, and you two are still putting up with one another. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Cho typing away on her phone.

“Shit, I’m meeting up with Tae, gotta run babe. Tell me what you decide!” Cho says, standing up from her seat, tossing a bill on the table and dropping a kiss on your cheek. You heard her heels click across the floor, as the bell dinged and she was gone.

You blew a loose hair away from your face, crossing your arms in front of you. Leaning forward to drink the rest of your watered down coffee, your phone dinged.

[big scary ᵈᵉᵐᵒⁿ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)]

4:37pm: gonna be home late petal, don’t wait up, loveyou. xo

[you]

4:37: ahh :( okay, loveyou more! c:

Chucking your phone in your bag, you slung the strap over your shoulder, before proceeding to walk out of the café. Pushing the oak door open, the bell dinged quietly as you exited.

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It has been a week since you spoken to Cho about the nipple situation and long story short you got them pierced the day after. Honestly you were really debating about it, that night when Yoongi came home you were gonna ask him about it, but you decided to suck his dick instead.

So basically it’s been a week and he still doesn’t know that you have barbells going through your pert nipples. Your excuse for not having sex was the good old period trick. You would think that since he is a demon blood wouldn’t bother him, which is technically true. But, if blood is coming out of your vagina he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Unfortunate.

Anyway, you aren’t sure if your little white lie was working or not due to the fact Yoongi is a supernatural being, and he can sense any smell in a ten mile radius. That is besides the point though because today is supposed to be the last day of your “period” and the piercings are nowhere near healed. You swear air could hit your boob and your nipples would immediately start throbbing and you wanted to die.

You were this close to going back to the piercing parlor to get the barbells removed, if possible, but you decided to tough it out and take some Advil and a nap. Luckily you could sleep with no shirt since Yoongi wasn’t supposed to be home till later that night.

Or so you thought.

Yoongi came home about an hour into you nap. The platinum haired man yawned as he tossed his keys into the bowl on the table by the front entrance. Slipping off his sneakers, Yoongi ruffled his hair as he walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

“Petal?” Yoongi shouted into the apartment, as he reached into the cupboard. The tattooed man furrowed his brows as he grabbed the cup and placed it on the counter. Yoongi waddled into the common area before hopping up the small flight of stairs to enter your shared room. Pushing the large door open, a blast of cool air made goosebumps form along his arms. Of course you kept the apartment cold so you had an excuse to cuddle him.

Upon opening the door Yoongi saw you laying on the king sized bed, the white silk sheets pooling around your body. Fully opening the door, he walked up the end of the bed. A smile graced his face as he saw your flushed cheeks and messy hair buried into the pillow. You were lying on your back, chest rising and falling as one hand fell off the side of the bed. Yoongi was about to close the door when he noticed you shifting around in the bed. Stopping in his tracks, he watched as the sheets fell off your chest as you moved around to lay on your side.

His eyes widened as he saw the glint of metal on your nipple. Yoongi swear his dick just fell off as he quietly walked over to your side of the bed, and peered over your body. Instinctively, large black wings extended from his back. Another t-shirt ruined. But Yoongi could care less as he hovered over your body. He internally screamed as your body shifted again to lay on your back again.

Fuck.

His eyes went to the silver, barbells that pierced through your perky nipples. Yoongi was 100 percent sure his dick fell off, as he quickly retracted his wings and got onto the bed and straddled your sleeping figure. On his hands and knees, he got real close to your face. Your nose began to twitch as you felt hot breath fan over your face.

Why does it smell like raspberries and mint? You thought in your sleep, as you furrowed your brows unconsciously. Bringing your hands up to your face, you rubbed your eyes slowly.

“Wake the hell up, _ _ _.” Yoongi practically growled above you, his hands digging into the sheets next to you. Stirring in your spot, your eyes began to flutter open slowly.

“For fuck sake,” Yoongi grumbled as he leaned his body down to take one of your sore nipples in his mouth. You jolted as you felt his cold tongue piercing swirl around the abused bud. Eyes open completely now, you looked to see your boyfriend sucking on your sore nipples.

“Y-yoongi, when did you get home-!” you groaned, as he began to swirl his tongue over the bud. Ignoring you, Yoongi took his fingers into his hand and sucked the skin before pulling at the other nipple while he continued to suck on the other.

“Nggh, Yoongi, please! Shitshit, I’m still soree-!” you were cut off with a moan once more, as Yoongi sucked a bit hard before pulling back, but still rubbing one bud between his fingers. You looked up at him through your lashes, his mouth had a slight sheen on it as he smirked at your dazed expression.

“So, baby when were you gonna tell me that you got your cute, little nipples pierced?” Yoongi questioned, leaning down to peck kisses on your jaw. Your jaw went slack as he began to twist both nipples at the same time with his thumbs gently.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to be-,” your cut off when Yoongi gently slaps your tit, immediately soothing the sore skin with his palm.

Yoongi speaks into the skin of your neck, “I didn’t ask for an apology petal, I asked you a question,” he teases, prodding at your neck with his mouth. Your jaw is slack as he gently begins to rub circles around your nipples.

“I, fuck, I don’t know! I know you hate it when I talk b-bad about my chest, so, fuck, I thought this would make a difference!” You manage to get your sentence out, kicking your legs around Yoongi who is still straddling you.

Yoongi hums, still tweaking your nipples with his fingers as he looks at your face contort into pleasure. In all honesty he didn’t care that you got them pierced, if anything it made him want you more. Pulling his hands back from your chest, you let out a shuddery moan as Yoongi leans back on his heels to look at you.

Breathing harshly, your eyes wander to the tent that begins to form in his pants. Yoongi follows your eyes, to his pants, a slow smirk forms on his face as he brings his large palm over his pants.

“See something you like, petal?” Yoongi drawls. Your eyes widen as he squeezes himself. Shaking your head up and down slowly, Yoongi chuckles lowly. Getting up from the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head exposing the ink that swirls around his toned stomach and chest. His tan skin has a slight sheen of sweat as he completely pulls the grey t-shirt off. Sitting up, you begin to crawl over to him slowly.

Watching your movements, he looks down at you, your face level with his stomach. Peering up at him, his eyes are pools of obsidian, drowning you as he brings his fingers up to your mouth. He drags his fingers around your lips, gently tapping the smooth skin. He hums as you look up at him with your mouth parted.

“Ah, your mouth would look so pretty wrapped around my cock, is that what you want petal? Hmm. Your lips wrapped around my fat cock?” Yoongi spoke smoothly.

Nodding your head vigorously, Yoongi chuckled and withdrew his hand. Looking up at him still, he slowly dragged his hand up your neck, gently squeezing the skin under your jaw. You kept eye contact with him as he kept squeezing gently and then releasing.

Before you could ask him to stop teasing you and to fuck you, Yoongi brought his hand in front of him, swiping it in an upward motion. Your body jolted as you were thrown on the bed and your hands pinned above your head. Yoongi and his fucking telekinesis.

“Okay asshat was the really necessary?” You asked, raising a brow at your boyfriend and looking up at him.

“Yes, it was, I’m a demon what do you expect.” Yoongi smiled, as he crawled onto the bed to boop your nose.

Rolling your eyes at your boyfriend, you looked at him as he caged your body beneath him. His eyes trailed down your body once more, particularly to your chest.

You couldn’t help but blush under his intense stare. Yoongi gently brought his fingers up to prod at your puffy nipple, gently circling the skin.

“So what’s the real reason you got these hmm?” Yoongi asked genuinely. Sighing, you looked at him before groaning and laying your head on the pillows.

“We have been over this, Yoongi. You know my chest is small I look 12, and-,” Yoongi wasn’t having any of it as he slapped your sore tit

“Fuck!” you cried, as he immediately began to soothe the red skin. Tears began to well up in your eyes, as the skin throbbed slightly.

“Shhh, petal. I’m not doing this to hurt you,” Yoongi murmured, removing his hand from your boob to cage your body. He rubbed his thumb under your eyes to sweep away the tears. “I’m doing that because you don’t need to be so insecure. I’m not in love with you because your of your ass, even though that’s a plus-,” you snorted a laugh and kicked his thigh. Yoongi smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your eyelids. “I love you because your beautiful, and generous and you put up with my shit, stop doubting yourself. I love you and your body with or without the piercings.” Yoongi’s voice was low as he stroked a thumb across your cheek.

Tears began to well up again as you nodded at his words.

“Can you remove your damn telekinesis so I can hug you?” You laughed through teary eyes. Yoongi grinned at you, rosy gums peeking through his lips. Swiping his hand through the air, you immediately felt the release of weight on your body, as you immediately sat up and hooked your arms around your boyfriend's neck.

“Oof,” Yoongi groaned, as you trampled him on the bed, his arms immediately latched around your waist. You felt his warm breath fan across your bare chest.

“Ow! Yoongi not so tight,” you whined as he squeezed you tightly, burying his head into your neck. Pulling back slightly, you pinched his neck, “... i’m still sore asshole,” you mumbled, letting go of his neck to straddle his waist. Yoongi laughed, letting go of your waist to lean back on his legs, a slow grin began to overtake his face.

“Why don’t you let me help you…” his voice began to trail off as he leaned upwards to latch his mouth onto your nipple. You sighed, tilting your head back, as his he rolled his tongue piercing along the skin. Slicking the puffy skin with saliva, his hands trailed down your bare back to grab onto your ass. Squeezing the fleshy skin, he roughly pulled you forward, making you squeak. Before you could scold him for being abrupt, you felt something particularly hard poke at your center through your athletic shorts.

Stuttering over your words, Yoongi chuckled against your chest, the vibrations made wetness gush at your core. A lewd pop resonated through the room, as Yoongi detached from your nipple, to take his thumb into his mouth. Looking up at you, he sucked at the skin, before rubbing your nipple gently.

“F-fuck,” your moan came out broken as he returned his mouth to your chest, along with rubbing your other nipple.

“Mmm, I can smell you petal. You’re practically soaking through your shorts,” Yoongi spoke quietly against your chest, as he gently bit into the side of your tit.

You nodded, as you threw your head back in pleasure, not even processing his words. Hands limp at your sides, as Yoongi fondled you.

“Be a good girl and grind on my cock? Want you to cum before I sink into you, would you like that petal? My fat cock stretching your tight, wet hole?” Yoongi asked you lightly, biting the skin of your neck. He gently jutted his hips upward against you.

“Yoongi p-please, yes.” You opened your eyes slowly, watching as Yoongi removed his hands from your chest. Your arms began to work as you grabbed the collar of Yoongi’s shirt, to bring him into a heated kiss.

Your teeth clacked against one other, as you sucked on his tongue, not caring as saliva began to wet your chin. Yoongi blanked for a moment at your abruptness, before growling against your mouth and jutting his hips against your clothed center once more. Whines came from your mouth, as you continued to suck his lips. Trailing your hands down his neck, you hooked your fingers behind his neck, and began to grind against him.

You felt his bulge hit your clit, making you pant against his mouth.

“Yoongi, it feels so good,” you whined, moving your hips back and forth. Yoongi growled before taking both his hands up to your chest and running his palms back and forth against your nipples. Tossing your head back in elation, you bit your lip as your sopping cunt grinded against him.

Unhooking your hands behind him, you pushed him down to lay flat on his back and then took his hands above his head. Yoongi panted, as you held his hands above his head, grounding your hips into his.

“Oh, oh, ffuck, Y-yoongi,” you kept whining as you moved against him.

“Fuck, that’s it baby. Rub your cunt on my cock,” Yoongi growled, before leaning up and taking your nipple in his mouth. The simulation of the grinding, and his tongue piercing against your sore nipples was all it took for you to scream and throw your head back, as you released. Garbled noises came from your mouth as you released Yoongi's hands. Quickly he sat up and threw you down on the bed as you came down from your high. You huffed as your body hit the foam.

Yoongi wasted no time ripping right through your shorts and undies, exposing your sopping center to his greedy eyes. Amber bled into his pupils, as he gripped your legs and pulled you to him.

“Yoongi wait, I’m s-still sensit-!” you didn’t have a chance to push him away as he ran his tongue flat against your center, his piercing spiking pleasure that shot into your toes.

Obscene slurping noises came from your center, making a deep blush seep onto your cheeks.

“Taste. So. Fucking, Devine.” Yoongi growled, pulling back and licking your arousal with his tongue. His fangs were protruding, indicating he was most definitely turned on.

Your chest heaved as you watched him begin to shuck his clothes off quickly. His shirt, jeans and boxers came off.

As Yoongi pulled his boxers off, he sighed as his fat cock flopped onto his taut stomach. The rosy head weeping with cum. Your mouth watered as you saw the protruding vein run under the shaft. You would never get used to how big his dick was; body shuddering at the thought of your center stretching over his bulbous head.

But the thing that has your center dripping more than it already was, was the barbell piercing that went through the head of his cock. Long story short it was a dare, and demons have a low pain tolerance first of all. And Yoongi, being Yoongi, obviously doesn’t back down from a dare so he got the piercing.

To be honest at first you were worried that the piercing would rip your vagina in half, but since we are here right now, we can all agree that it didn’t. But hey, that’s one way to go, getting split in half by your demon boyfriends monstrous cock, topped with his dick piercing.

Nice.

You were brought out of your thoughts as you heard Yoongi’s low grunts, looking at him between your legs, you watched as he jerked his hand slowly down his shaft.

“Like what you see?” Yoongi winked at you, making you roll your eyes at his inflated ego.

“Hmm not sure,” you teased, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. The mattress creaked slightly as Yoongi situated himself between your legs. You sucked in a breath as he took his cock in his hands once more and nudged your clit with his tip.

You both groaned simultaneously as he began to slick his length in your arousal. Yoongi swore under his breath as his hands came to grip the pillow beside your head as he rubbed you with his cock.

“Fuck, look at you dirty girl. Not even inside you and your soaking my c-cock, are you gonna cum like this?” Yoongi’s dirty words made your center cream, as he pressed kissed against your slick skin.

“Y-yoongii, please, please,” your moans came out garbled as he picked up the pace, grunting lowly in your ear. Pulling back he looked you in the eyes, flecks of amber coated his pupils as his fangs began to protrude once more. He took your hands in his to hold them above your head.

Arching your back, you felt the knot in your stomach begin to tighten quickly as Yoongi rubbed his cock against you.

“Mhmhm, it feels good,” you whined, as Yoongi leaned down to take your nipple into his mouth.

“Then cum. Soak my cock with your juices so I can fuck them back inside you. Be a good kitten and come for me,” Yoongi whispered against your chest.

His dirty words was all it took for you to topple over the edge in pleasure, as the knot snapped and you released all over Yoongi. Throwing your head back, you felt your cunt clench around nothing, as Yoongi continued to rub his cock against you.

“Oh f-fuck look at that! Squirt all over my cock, you dirty girl,” Yoongi pulled back to look at you release, a bit too hard, all over the bed sheets and his cock. Your legs twitched as you laid on the bed, skin slick and cunt sore. You heard Yoongi breath heavily over you, letting you relax for a moment. Not even caring that your were sensitive, you pulled yourself up and pulled Yoongi to your body.

Smashing your lips against his, you clawed at his back as you pushed him onto the bed and grinded against him. You felt his hands grip onto your waist tightly, before you felt his head prod at your center. Swirling yourself around him, you wasted no time sinking onto him slowly. You both shuddered as your center popped over his fat tip, before completely sinking on to him.

You immediately began to bounce up and down on him, his piercing hitting your cervix each time. Yoongi was mesmerized by your tits bouncing in the slightest, the piercings reflecting off the setting sun that poured in through the blinds. He took both his hands up to your boobs, squeezing the flesh before tweaking your nipples between his pointer finger and thumb.

Groaning at the painful pleasure, you rested your hands on his chest as you bounced on him.

“You feel that? My cock deep inside you, hitting your cervix? That’s where I’m gonna shoot my cum, make you nice and full that it seeps out of you. And everyone will know your mine.” Yoongi kept his voice steady as he tweaked your nipples.

“Yes! Yoongi, I’m yours please, want your c-cum. I love your cock, its so big.” You whined as you clenched around him, milking him slowly. You could feel yourself creaming his cock, as you bounced repeatedly on him.

Not wanting to be below you anymore, Yoongi gripped you by the hips and tried to flip you over. You being stubborn didn’t want to, which resulted in you two rolling around on the bed. He pulled your hair, as you sucked bruises into the skin on his clavicle. Eventually the fighting for dominance led to you two tumbling off the bed, silk comforter wrapped around your sweaty bodies.

Your shriek turned into a moan as Yoongi’s body broke your fall resulting in him being below you, causing his cock to sink even deeper into you.

“Fuck!” Both of you moaned simultaneously, as his cock sunk deeper into your wet heat. Your nails made deep indents into his strong chest, as you felt yourself clench around Yoongi’s length.

Yoongi dug his hands into your ass, before slapping the skin hard. Making you clench around him, as you groaned into his neck.

“You better fucking come, or you’re getting a spanking.” Yoongi growled below you, lifting your body up and slamming you up and down on his cock.

“I’m close! Please Yoongi!” You cried, as you blindly grabbed his hand and guided it to your tits. Yoongi obliged, taking your nipple between his fingers once more. Your mouth hung open as he rolled the puffy skin between his fingers. He tweaked the piercing back and forth, making your nipple even more sore. But even with that you were so close but couldn’t get there.

“Y-yoongi, can’t,” you mumbled, feeling the muscles of your thighs burn. Ignoring your cries of frustration, as he grunted below you. You felt your body becoming limp as Yoongi fucked you, his cock making your walls burn in pleasure.

“You. Will. Fucking. Take it.” Yoongi punctuated each word with a thrust, making you scream as you scratched your nails down his chest. Again, you felt the knot form so tightly you thought you were going to implode. Digging your face in Yoongi’s neck, you felt his pulse as his breaths came out harshly.

Yoongi was becoming impatient, so he gripped you by the waist and laid you down on the sheets that covered the floor. His cock never left your center, as he hooked your legs around each side of his waist and sat up on his knees.

Your arms were spread out by your head, as Yoongi gripped you by the waist and began to thrust into you once more. At this angle you swore his dick was going to penetrate your cervix. Your mouth was open in a silent moan as you watched his dick slide out of you. It was coated with your creamy release, and you could feel his piercing hitting your center as you clenched around his bulbous head.

“Feels, Nggh, good Yoongi-i,” your words were slurred, completely fucked out by his cock ramming into you. Yoongi licked his upper lip, which was slick with sweat. Platinum hair dripping with sweat, as he leaned over your body. His tattoos were slick with sweat as he continued to thrust into you, his dick pulsing at the thought of you creaming him.

“Look at you. Completely wrecked around my fat cock.” Yoongi snarled at you before he leaned down and took your nipple in his mouth. You felt your arms twitch as he licked your nipple, his hot mouth encasing the sore bud.

Licking it a few more times, he pulled away, then gripped your hips once more and began to fuck you thoroughly.

“Fuck, I can see my dick budging inside you. That’s where my cum will be. Would you like that petal? My cum making your insides nice and sticky?” Yoongi’s words came out breathy, as he held your body up to thrust into you.

You nodded, as you felt your body bounce. You felt your body beginning to become sore, and your orgasm was approaching rapidly.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna cum? Yeah, give it to me baby. Cream my cock like a good-,” His words were but a distant voice as you felt yourself finally come undone. You screamed, throwing your head back as you creamed Yoongi’s cock. Gripping at the floor, Yoongi fucked his way to his own orgasm, filling you up with his cum. You felt his hot seed seep into your hole, mixing with your squirt.

“Fucking, shit. Squirt all over my cock, that’s right. I own this cunt.” Yoongi went feral as he continued to slide in and out of you. He slid out completely, making his seed spill out of your abused hole. Swirling his tip around you a few times, he gathered his release before pushing his head back in.

You felt tears well up in your eyes as your core popped over his bulbous head, along with his piercing. Yoongi breathed heavily as he brought his fingers up to his mouth and then moved them around your aching clit.

“Y-Yoongi s-stop,” you whined, as your hips stuttered causing his head to push in further. You groaned as he pushed your mixed arousals back into you, before pulling out completely. You felt your body decompress as your eyes fluttered slightly. Soreness began to seep into your bones, as you laid on the hardwood floor. Yoongi was being a little shit, making sure to overstimulate you and rub the head of his cock against your sore pussy. The cool piercing made you jolt against him.

Weakly you lifted a hand, attempting to slap his abdomen. “Yoongi, little shit, stop.” You groaned, making him chuckle and retract his dick.

“I’m sorry, are you alright? I know I went a bit rough today,” Yoongi spoke softly, gripping your hips to pull you onto his lap. You shake your head, wrapping your sore arms around his sweaty shoulders.

“Mm, I know, mmm sore.” you mumbled, lips moving against his neck. Yoongi chuckled, running his blunt nails across your back. Leaning into his touch, you allowed him to wrap the sheets around you and pick you up from the floor. Your eyes fluttered slightly as he stood up and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“C’mon let’s go clean you,” Yoongi spoke gently, pressing a kiss to your hair. You smiled, pressing your lips to his shoulder as he walked into the master bathroom. The evening sun was shining through the large window next to the tub, stores and skylines visible through the fairy lights strung across the balcony.

Yoongi set you down on the marble counter, before pressing a kiss to each of your cheeks and walking over to the porcelain tub.

You stifled a yawn as you pulled the silk sheets tighter to your body, and leaned against the mirror, not caring if it smudged or not. The sun was reflecting right on you, causing a satisfying warmth to seep into your skin. The sun showed all your lines, freckles, even that scar on your jaw from when Min Holly scratched you by mistake. You didn’t even register that Yoongi was filling up the bathtub, or the fact that he was just staring at you.

“You’re beautiful. You know that,” Yoongi spoke over the flowing water. It was a statement, no room for argument. Your eyes opened to look at him, squinting slightly due to the sun. You smiled at him, something warm seeped over your cheeks, and it wasn’t the sun.

Yoongi shut off the tap to the tub then proceeded to walk over to you, he pulled you by the hips so that he stood between your legs. A defined jaw, but also puffed cheeks looked up at you.

“Cheesy,” you softly spoke, resting your forehead against his. He grinned at you, looking in between your eyes.

“Only for you petal.” Yoongi spoke, leaning back to press a kiss on your cheek. 

---

Hi hello! Yes this is a repost, for personal reasons I decided to take down seins for a few days and its edited now haha, but i hope u all enjoy! pls leave me feedback, i really wanna know what you guys think :( all my love! xx also updated my wips hehe.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sweet Spot - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Sway: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6  / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

All I Want For Christmas / When I See You Smile / Good Woman

@mandy23b​ @wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​ #mendotagsquad

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: Haha - So, this Midweek is my Sway Anniversary, and to celebrate this, I uhm... came up with an Anniversary fic for your Mendo Midweek-!! 😉

That’s literally all I wrote this for but I hope you can still enjoy it for what it is! 😁

Sweet Spot - Kim Petras ❤

Disclaimer: Bloodline characters not mine / All OCs are from Sway but you don’t necessarily have to know who they all are at all. / lyrics + gifs not mine!

Premise: Danny is always full of surprises - but it’s your anniversary today, and you wanna surprise him. If he doesn’t get too mad with you first!

Words: 2774

Warnings: Swearing / Drinking...sorta. / sexual connotations

____

See you dancin' like you wantin' my attention See you dancin', see you dancin' Now your body's movin' into my direction My direction, my direction

Baby, what you waiting for? You got the green light Don't you hold back no more Let's live our best life Everybody wants to leave here with somebody Everybody, everybody Time of night we start to dip into the candy Give it to me, give it to me

Baby, what you waiting for? You got the green light Don't you hold back no more Let's live our best life

So baby don't stop, don't stop We're getting to the sweet spot, sweet spot Baby it's a sure shot, sure shot We're getting to the sweet spot, sweet spot

I wanna with you, I wanna with you I wanna with you, I wanna with you 

---

Anniversaries weren’t supposed to start with fights; but yours did. You completely understood why, he wanted to spend the day together. It couldn’t happen; unfortunately the reason that Danny was able to spend all of today with you was also the reason that you were able to get away to execute on your plans, or rather, couldn’t stay with him. Danny had shut his restaurant – he could have taken the day off but no, he’d given everyone a break -  that was just the kind of man he was. You had other ideas. He didn’t like this; and whilst you didn’t really expect him to, you thought Danny might be a little more understanding than the argument you now found yourself in the middle of. “Baby, I’m sorry-!” “Are you kidding!? I’m taking the whole day off from work for this--! The restaurant is CLOSED for you!” for us you mean! But you held your tongue, Danny was hurt, but it really wasn’t your fault – as far as he knew! You tried your best, but placating him wasn’t working; “I know-! I know! And you’ve been excited all week but-” “Can’t you just tell them you can’t do it!” “Danny, if I could, then you know I would!” “This is fucking ridiculous! It’s a Saturday.” “At least it’s not travelling…!” That didn’t help things, and Danny scowled before dragging his cigarette packet off the kitchen table and slamming the balcony door closed behind him. What you had told him this morning was that work needed to pull you in on something. The truth? You were about to meet your parents, Nolan, Danny’s best friends (and coworkers!) Javi & Jason, and your best friends Amanda & Evie down at Viva Caputa and decorate for a ‘surprise’ anniversary party. Surprise only for Danny of course. But right now, you’d be lucky to get him out for it. You sighed gently and followed him outside; “Baby…” touching his shoulder delicately you rubbed soothing circles. When Danny didn’t turn to you, you pulled yourself into him. “Baby, I’m so sorry…” His breathing was deep and Danny took at least three drags of his cigarette before he spoke. “I know. I just can’t believe this is happening today.” “Danny, please look at me?” He turned, and gathered you in his arms, brushing your hair back from your face. He was trying his best not to look super pissed, but you supposed he wasn’t really angry with you. “I’m sorry, baby girl, it’s just… It’s not what I wanted.” “Me either, you know that. God, Danny, I wanna be here with you so bad…” You leant up, brushing your lips to his. He chuckled, deepening your kiss, tasting like smoke. “What if you skipped out?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping that he was joking with you. Danny’s smiled faded, “Right. Okay.” You held him closer running a hand through his tangle of curls, “Just stay here, relax, okay? God knows you deserve it. I’ll pick you up later and we’ll go out for dinner.” “At this place you won’t tell me about.” “Why ruin a good surprise?” You realised the double meaning of your sentence and grinned, “I promise it’ll be worth the wait.” He took a double meaning of his own from that; “OH, I’m assured it will be!” You kissed him once more, “I’ll be back soon, I promise.” “Yeah, yeah! Go on! Leave me!” He might have put on a pout, but you were almost positive that he’d be sulking all day. As you waved goodbye part of you wanted to race back to Danny and tell him everything. You couldn’t. For this to work you couldn’t.   *** You’d hidden your dress of choice and a bunch of decorations in the car, and as you pulled into the parking lot everyone was already waiting for you. “Happy Anniversary!” “Oh no!!” You held your hands up, kissing Nolan gently on the cheek as he came over to help you remove the boxes, “Not when my man isn’t here, and NOT when he’s already pissed at me!” “For what!?” Javi raised an eyebrow “Well I’m at work, as far as he knows.” “That’s typically Danny.” Jason scoffed, “He’ll be fully in love by tonight!” “If he’s not, this Anniversary is gonna turn into a funeral-!” “Yours?” You narrowed your eyes at Jason and had half a mind to slap him, considering his amused little smile, instead just shoving a box into his arms; “No. YOURS!” *** Despite Danny not being here, you made sure to keep messaging him every spare moment you had. Danny wasn’t a texter, but keeping him up to date with what you were up to was important. You called him during your lunchbreak only, he seemed pretty fine – and didn’t complain once, which you thought was good of him. But Danny certainly wasn’t in high spirits; hopefully you could change all that quickly. It was a lot of fun, helping everyone else put up decorations. As you did so they all kept shouting random questions at you about your relationship, wanting you to tell stories and talk to your favourite memories. To which they all added running commentaries or their own anecdotes – either on things Danny had said about you when you weren’t around, or, if they’d been a part of any of the situations, their own personal take on it. Towards the end of your decorating Amanda paused and turned back to you, it dawned on her – much as it had your own mind – what exactly this was for, and yet your participation in it. “Wait, shouldn’t we have been doing this for you!?” You shrugged “No. I mean you could have! But, the amount of stupid surprise parties that Danny has thrown me in here?” You pointed around the room, “That all of you were all in on, I 100% need to throw him one this time! Even if it is for our anniversary…” Then you smiled, “Which uhm, reminds me, I guess I best be saying thank you!!”

On the other side of Miami, Danny Rayburn was growing more and more anxious. It was getting later; about the time you should really be getting home, or at least picking him up. Yet he’d heard nothing, not a text or a call. Danny was ready: nice shirt, smart pants, he even had a jacket. He wasn’t exactly sure where you were taking him, but he could guess that you’d like to sweep him across town and into a 5-star restaurant with views of the Pacific. Danny would roll his eyes and say you were paying too much, and you would smile and say he was worth every cent; and he wouldn’t be ungrateful, Danny would surely enjoy every second of your company. Even more so now he’d been bereft of you all day. Now he was pacing, and sure that you wouldn’t make it - at the rate things were going you definitely wouldn’t be on time! – he’d already had a few cigarettes to attempt to calm himself in vain, Danny didn’t dare have another. Alternating between staring at the door and the phone; which one would alert him first? Turned out it was his phone and as he scrambled to pick it up, Danny was disheartened to find it wasn’t even you on the other end of the line, but his head waiter, Javi: “Danny you need to get down to the restaurant there’s a problem.” If it didn’t sound so urgent Danny would have left a longer pause; what else could possibly go wrong today? He didn’t dare ask that question out loud. “You’re fucking with me right!? I’m waiting to go to my anniversary dinner, everything’s already ruined because my girl got dragged off to work. Now there’s something wrong at my restaurant!?” “Danny we need you!! We NEED you!” Javi did his best to sound panicked, “But she… she’s gotta be on her way back by now… I can’t just drive down to ya!” “Y/N left you for the day man, that’s on her! Just get down here!” Javi shot you an apologetic look but you waved him off. All he had to do was get your partner to his destination, it didn’t matter how. Heck, for leaving Danny all day you probably did deserve some slander. Hopefully it’d all be worth the pain. “Okay. Okay. Just, hold on!”  Danny cut the line, sighing, well this was just GREAT. He scribbled a little note to you, hardly believing that after you left him this morning he was now going to have to apologise for this. In the state he was in though, Danny never stopped to ask the question; If everyone was off for the evening, what was Javi doing at the restaurant in the first place? *** Danny couldn’t pull into his parking space fast enough, Javi’s car was the only other one here (you’d all moved yours into a parking garage to keep from ruining the surprise until the last second.) and yet the restaurant didn’t seem occupied at all. “What the hell?” Danny muttered to himself. Locking his car, he sprinted to Viva Caputa’s front door, wrenching it open as soon as he could get the key in. Stepping inside he peered around in the pitch darkness, reaching for the nearest light switch; “Javi, I swear to GOD-” Danny didn’t get a chance to flip them, as the lights were thrown up from the other end of the room. All your collective friends and your family standing there. “SURPRISE!!” Banners and balloons and streamers decorated nearly every surface, and the more culinary skilled of the little group had clearly been busy at home. He quickly noted signature dishes of both your mother’s and Jason’s. Danny’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. He just stood in stunned silence and shook his head, before his hands came up to his face and his eyes settled on you. No longer in the clothes you’d left in this morning, you’d changed into a gorgeous dress, standing in the centre of the restaurant with a glass of champagne in your hand; “Happy Anniversary Danny!” His hands came away from his mouth; “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D PUT ME THROUGH A DAY OF HELL FOR THIS!!” Yet as he laughed and everyone joined in, Danny stepped quickly forwards, throwing his arms around you and pulling you into a tight embrace “THANK YOU!!!” “About time I threw you a surprise party, huh?” “Oh, baby girl…” He placed his forehead to yours, “You didn’t have to!” before kissing you to a room full of cheers. *** Nolan got the music going, a playlist you’d helped him put together, and the party started getting into full flow. Although Danny and yourself were the centre of attention, it was nice to lean back against him as he sat on a bar stool - arm around your waist and drink in his hand - and observe all your friends chatting amongst themselves and having a good time. “Sorry this isn’t the anniversary you expected.” He rubbed his hand over your hip and chuckled; “You don’t need to be sorry, I like this. Right here with the people most important to us...” Danny looked up to you with a smile; “As for this morning, you CAN take me to a 5-star restaurant to make up for it.” You shook your head at his cheekiness, but knew he probably deserved it, as you bent to kiss his forehead, “Okay, baby, it’s a deal!”

With the music up it was no surprise that eventually Danny took your hand and suggested you make your way to the middle of the cleared space. “If you’re gonna stand there in a good dress, and you and Nolan built a playlist, it’d be a shame to waste it!” You couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled you out; “Just be careful, this isn’t a dancefloor in the middle of Little Havana.” “Oh, I think I’ll save that for back home.” You raised your eyebrows, with a small smirk at his suggestion; “That better be a promise, Danny Rayburn.” “Oh, you bet!”

You weren’t sure if shuffle wasn’t working, or the fact that Nolan was smirking and standing relatively close to the music player with Beth, Evie and Amanda had something to do with your realisation that it was slow song after slow song. Probably was your best guess – your friends would certainly love the opportunity to control the playlist. It didn’t matter to either of you; Danny held you strong, one hand in yours and one supporting your waist - everything about it respectful, perhaps even delicate. Danny cared about you more than anything and you knew that; his body close and tight, back sloping to fold into yours; head resting against your own as he spun you slowly around the floor. Every so often you’d catch his smirk as the lights glittered on your ‘D’ pendant - and that look on his face persisted as he continued to hold you. Sometimes you really did love that Danny made it so obvious, and you pushed up against him a little harder just to let him know you knew exactly what he was thinking about. As you did you Danny gave you a little look; ‘I’m trying to be proper here!’ And you laughed, ‘Yeah right!’

 Eventually others joined you, your parents, Jason and his wife, and you and Danny even persuaded Javi to stop making eyes at her from across the room, and go drag Amanda onto the dancefloor. When everyone’s eyes weren’t solely on the two of you, you were able to relax a bit; and his hands fell a little lower on your waist as you looped your arms around his neck. You still gave him your best ‘careful’ warning look, yet Danny’s little cheeky smile let you know that he’d heed your words, but only for a time. If he thought that he was going to get away with it, Danny was absolutely gonna get a little inappropriate tonight. It was your anniversary after all!

 You were in your own little world, that much was for sure. People were aware of what this meant, and let you have these quiet, private moments together - when all that mattered was each other. Danny grazed his lips to your forehead, and cheek before he chuckled: “You know maybe we aught to stop celebrating every special occasion here.” “You’re the one who doesn’t like taking big days off!” You were specifically referring to Valentine’s Day, but Danny’s look was sharp and you laughed, embarrassed. “Today is hardly the day to complain at me for that. Thank you for the surprise, all the same.” “You’re welcome, you deserve it... Happy Anniversary Danny!” He accepted your kiss with a sweet smile; “Happy Anniversary, baby girl...” You looked around at all your friends but none of them were paying attention, all in worlds of their own too; “Maybe we should make this tradition?” “Oh yeah, gone are the days of good meals out, it’s all about hanging at Viva Caputa!” Although his voice was purely sarcastic, Danny couldn’t help that little smile he flashed “Something like that...” You smiled back, kissing him gently again. Then Danny laughed; “I have to say though, considering your antics you’re lucky we got an anniversary at all-!” “Oh what, c’mon! Danny!” “You just wait until we get home, you’re in BIG trouble.” You weren’t sure you trusted the suggestive look on his face, and you tipped you head curiously. Danny however was under no illusions that you weren’t hopeful; “Good trouble?” “VERY good trouble.”

Danny pulled you into his body, and you locked your arms around his neck as he kissed you. That wasn’t a sweet ‘Happy Anniversary’ kiss, and his hands ran way lower than the respectful line of your waist as he kept you as near to him as possible. That only made you smirk into the kiss as he grazed his tongue over your bottom lip. The dancing had paused; and no wonder. You allowed him what he wanted, Danny hummed in approval as sweet and short became fiery, hungry and passionate. You were in half a mind to ask him to abruptly cut your own party and take you back home right now.

You wouldn’t; because this was just Danny’s way of teasing you. Merely a taste of what was in store when you closed your apartment door to the world tonight and the lights were off.

Very good trouble was damn right. And you couldn’t wait.

---

Thank you for reading *possibly* the most self indulgent thing I’ve ever written 😅

[darkgeminisworld]

This is gonna be a rant about a probably toxic friend so if you don't wanna read it, this is a heads up.

Okay so for several reasons, most of them being that I need to move on, I decided to write this lengthy rant about a friend I'm pretty sure will not be a friend of mine for much longer, which sucks bc he's almost my only irl friend but also feels good bc he's exhausting and I'm pretty sure he's also toxic.

I've met this guy like 6 and a half years ago, and we pretty much bonded over shared interests pretty fast. The first thing that bothered me was that he'd always be late, which would be absolutely fine if he'd been honest about it. But writing that it's five minutes until he's there and then showing up 30 minutes after that, or writing "I'm on your doorstep" and taking another ten minutes to show up, almost every single time, isn't, especially since I strained to be on time the first months (meaning I'd be too early bc my brain only does too early or too late, nothing in between). And his being late wasn't just 20 or 30 minutes, several times he was over an hour late. Oh, and once when we had agreed to meet he legit wasn't home and I waited around 2 hours, which I really should have held a grudge for back then and been way more pissed at him.

The second thing that bothered me was that he was way too nosy. He'd ask if I'm free to meet and play video games or whatever and whenever I said no he'd ask what I'm doing and if I can't manage my time another way to make time for him. And the thing is, not only did I not ask several times after he told me that he's busy that day, but I actively told him, several times over the course of about the last two years, that it bothers me and asked him to tone it down. My problem here is only that he didn't stop after I asked him to, bc before I told him and asked him, how was he supposed to know.

Coming out to him went well, though he did ask me whether I'm into him, which... No. Obviously it could've gone a lot worse, but still.

The next is more a small annoyance, a small itch, although it might have been a warning sign. He couldn't handle defeat very well. In most video games he was better, but he low-key aggressively denied it when I pointed out the win-lose ratio in my all-time favourite video game series and he'd try to cheat at other games. If it was only about him being competitive I'd understand, but that doesn't mean trying to rewrite the past by blatantly lying about it and ridiculing me for pointing out that that's bullshit, especially since it's only games, played for the fun of it.

We also went to the cinema sometimes, though if it had been up to him it'd have been way more often and that's another point where he really didn't let it go after getting a no. Whether he wanted to watch a horror movie after being told, several times, that I really don't like horror movies, or just the general question of whether we'd be going to the cinema, he'd ask again and ask what I'm doing, why did I not want to go, would another time be good, couldn't I ask my parents for money (which, to be fair, I could have. But I preferred not to bc back then it was really stressful bc we had to move and renovate and I just didn't wanna add more frustration if that makes sense? Plus I wanted to get my hands on some things, which required to save up) etc. Almost every time we did end up going, it was he who initiated it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wanted to see some of the movies just as badly as he did, but... And if he can't even accept "no" from a friend of several years (also a 100% guy friend as far as he is aware bc I didn't start to address gender issues with him), I'm worried about other contexts with that word. Also we did some kind of text role play (just texting back and forth with OCs inserted into several fantasy works like the Inheritance Cycle, who would parttake in the storyline, no set rulebook or anything) and his characters did some questionable and even outright deplorable things and when I wanted his character to suffer consequences, he always wanted him to get away with it. Like, his idea for one of his characters "pranking" mine in reaction to a prank which in itself was a retaliation to his character's pranks was kidnapping and waterboarding my character. And he kept defending it as a prank and demanded that my character should just forgive his character, like... It really made (and continues to make) me wonder and worry just how much of his darker thoughts I don't know about. And I don't know how accurate it is but I once saw a post with a quote that went along the lines of "man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." (btw I couldn't think of a satisfactory way to phrase it so I ended up looking up the quote and apparently it's from Oscar Wilde)

So I spent a fair amount of time arguing with him over that and trying to explain to the best of my ability why it was wrong, and for some time it went better.

Fast forward a few months to the blm protests or more specifically news coverage of it and info I sent him. He defended cops and blamed the protestors and even justified the atrocities of the cops, so that was the first instance where we had a huge fight. I practically drowned him in links and videos etc and some weeks into that I thought I'd managed to get through to him (Spoiler: I didn't really get through to him) so I kept it in mind but continued to have contact with him and everything (bc at the time I didn't know that I didn't really get through as much as I thought).

From there on it pretty much went downhill. We had been thinking about doing a trip to London for a few days (his idea but at the time I really wanted to go, it was around 2 years ago when I still practically worshipped that one author, she who must not be named) and to this very day he's not letting it go completely. Even though the pandemic puts lots of obstacles in the way and I have more important things to worry about, namely final exams and applications. Even though London is expensive as shit and I still have no way to earn money atm. And about the vacation, I finally canceled last summer (and gave the aforementioned reasons) and he completely lost his shit and got super aggressive, insulted me and tried to guilt-trip me into taking that back and agreeing to still go on that vacation with him. Then we got into another fight where he wanted me to cancel the vacation with my grandparents, which was already planned and booked and everything in order to make time for the vacation I'd already said I don't want to go on with him anymore and aggressively demanded (he didn't ask, he sent a demand and bombarded me with exclamation marks) to know when exactly I'd be going on vacation with them. Then he went offline after I refused and ignored the next few messages I sent him and only replied when I asked "what I'd I reconsidered my stance on the trip?". I mean, baiting him with that definitely was shitty of me, but the result showed that that was basically what he wanted, pressure me into still going on that vacation. That specific conflict had been going on for weeks, bc despite me telling him that it's counterproductive and detrimental to my mental health to increase the pressure and therefore my anxiety about getting a job to pay for the trip, he kept pressuring me while acknowledging that he's giving me lots of pressure and anxiety and even using that against me.

He also didn't acknowledge that most times we try to meet, he goes offline for hours before replying and disappearing again. That would be absolutely fine if he didn't accuse me of doing that, which btw is his standard technique and it took me a long time to realize that. He always tries to shift the blame to make me look like the one at fault, and he always, always demands that I apologize when we had a fight via WhatsApp.

And when I started enforcing my boundaries and telling him to stop asking again and again why I can't meet, what I'm doing, or demanding other explanations, he started to attack me for the kind of language I use, so when I'm ever so slightly sarcastic he immediately latches onto that and creates a new conflict.

But this still isn't all, oh no. He's also basically an ecofascist, and is fully okay with sacrificing social justice to save the environment, completely choosing to ignore that the people he's protecting are the ones at fault and that the ppl who contribute the least are the ones experiencing the hardest ecological consequences.

He's said multiple times that he thinks both sides are equally bad, in the context of left and right in general as well as antifascism and fascism and that he doesn't "condone the oppressed defending themselves with any means necessary" bc that, too, would include violence. He's defending the "right to free speech" even when right-wingers say really disgusting shit, he disagrees with prohibiting demonstrations of ppl who think that Corona is a hoax, he has zero empathy for ppl who are affected, who suffer long-term consequences from infections, not even for ppl who die from it (he literally said "people die anyway, that doesn't justify imprisoning everyone else") and somehow still thinks he has the moral high ground.

And the last bit he did was explaining to me, from his endocisallohet white guy perspective, how I'm "not discriminated against" bc gay ppl in my country can get married (only since 2017 btw) and when I, despite the fact that I shouldn't have had to and that it was a real blow to my mental health, wrote him a message that was almost the length of an essay, he calmly started to question my replies with the detachedness of someone who's discussing whether pineapple belongs on pizza and demanding further explanation. To top it off, he said that marginalized ppl have to always reply to everyone calmly and politely, no matter if it was offensive bc the person asking might be unaware of that. Otherwise, he said, everyone would be right to stop listening to us. Like, he literally said that we don't deserve human rights if we're not licking the boots of our oppressors if that way of thinking is followed through to the end.

I almost forgot, he also thinks that white ppl should have a say in whether something is a racist slur, or whether something is racist in general (we're both white, but at least I'm trying my best to unlearn what my upbringing taught me instead of being the cliché of the white person who goes "how dare you call me racist, I've never been more insulted in my whole life!", which is basically his reaction)

So up until this last fight, I conceded some ground to him to end the fights and keep him as a "friend" not only bc I feel horrible when I imagine losing one of my only irl friends but also bc I was hoping I could get through to him and educate him, to the best of my ability, on how to be a good ally to marginalized people. But the disregard with which he treats my explanations why the way he talked (wrote) about marginalized people is absolutely not okay and the fact that he just told me that he genuinely doesn't see how he did anything wrong even after I explained it to him in detail is just too much to bear at this point.

Oh, and while looking through the chat to prove him a liar I found that apparently, to him a promise is a promise, no matter whether it was given under pressure or voluntarily, so do with that what you will.

[belphegor1982]

How about the first chapter Tommy appears?

[Pick any passage from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail/submission box. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!]

Thanks a lot!! (Also I answered this kind of ask about a passage from chapter 2, if you want to take a look - it’s all spoiler-free!)

Here’s Thomas Sean Ferguson’s grand introduction, then :D Oh god, it’s kind of awkward, because like with Blake there’s a certain amount of early installment weirdness. Also I go on and oooooooon (sorry about that). But let’s go!

_________

Quite lost in his thoughts this time, [Jonathan] barely registered that he was walking past the Museum (where Evy is, right now, negotiating the Cairo Museum “lending” the Diamond of Ahm Shere to the British government - which kickstarts the plot) before somebody knocked into him, hard enough for both of them to crumple, breathless, on the ground. It took Jonathan thirty seconds to get his lungs in working order again and, instinctively, check his pockets for anything missing.

A lot of this commentary risks being “this used to be [thing] before I tweaked it in the rewrites”, and a lot of it is because I’ve gained some insight in the past twelve years. Jonathan’s first thought being checking his pockets (which - and I made it explicit in the second or third paragraph of the story :D - comes from his being a skilled pickpocket himself and knowing how it works), however, was there from the very beginning.

“So sorry I bumped into you, mate, didn’t mean to,” came the voice of the attacker. Jonathan’s eyes widened at the sound of this voice and he squinted up at its owner.

And cue Tom Ferguson :D He wasn’t my first OC, far from it (that dubious honour would probably belong to the buttload of OCs I created for my Marauder era story which died when Order of the Phoenix came out), but he was the first I got to really explore and develop, and he ended up one of my favourites ever. Em, I answered an ask of yours way back in 2015, “introduce us to two of your OCs” :o) The first was him, the second was Marguerite LeBeau.

“Tommy? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”

The diamond is the reason the O’Connell-Carnahan gang goes to Egypt, but without Tommy, there’d be no plot. Hamilton would probably still find a way to “retrieve” the diamond from the museum, only without Evy and her family getting personally involved and then having to go back to the UK saying she failed her mission. and then cue the end of the world about a week and a half from there, but shhh - spoilers!

The fellow shook his head, still looking a bit dazed; then his own eyes, round and brown, (so he’s the opposite of Jon in almost every way, physically speaking. Like I said in the aforementioned OC ask, I designed him as a foil for Jon, fundamentally different in some ways but very similar in others. Physically speaking he’s basically Sean Astin (with some James Corden thrown in) with brown eyes, blond hair, and a Liverpool accent.) went even rounder as he stared at Jonathan. “Jon! What the hell are you doing ‘ere?”

For the longest time Tommy used to call Jonathan by his last name here (and Jon’s earlier line used to be “Ferguson? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”). I changed it quite recently. I think I wanted to convey the idea that school friends at the time often called each other by their last names; but since he calls Jonathan “Jon” 100% of the time - and is the only one to do so, which I have Feelings about - I went back to correct it.

“Glad to see you too, old chap,” laughed Jonathan, standing up and dusting himself off before offering a hand at the man on the ground, who accepted it gladly.

Heh. Look, one of the staples of Mummy fanfiction was and still is the old school friend of Evy’s who follows either the siblings (TM time) or the whole family (TMR/post-TMR time) to Egypt and falls in love with Ardeth Bay. I’m not throwing stones here; I’ve read a couple I really liked. There’s the odd Jonathan/OFC romance, too. What I set out to do as a baby writer (I was 21 at the time!) and unsuspecting ace was to write something completely devoid of romance (except the odd Evy/Rick snuggle and, of course, all-encompassing love for each other). And then, as I reread the story for rewrites a decade and a half later, I became more and more convinced that Jonathan and Tommy used to be more than friends, and then when Elizabeth came along the three of them got together as a thruple and very happy for a while. (For some reason I couldn’t work this explicitly into FTaH, though - it felt too much like hinting at this huge story I was never going to write and might have made FTaH much too crowded. So it’s up to the reader to decide, really. Personally, I like both options.) So here’s 37 year old me shipping Jon with a female OC and a male OC, and quite enthusiastically, at that. *chuckles* Wonder what my 21 y-o self would think of it…

He hadn’t seen Thomas Ferguson since some time after the end of the war, what felt like ages ago. They’d made quite a pair at Oxford, the two of them – the scrawny, foppish Southerner with the quiet grin and the sticky fingers, and the broad-shouldered, round-faced Scouser with the laughing eyes and the deceptively innocent face. They’d rowed for the Dark Blues for a bit, got properly pickled on Boat Race Nights, and helped each other out of many a tight spot. Oh, for the halcyon days of youth.

One of the reasons I picked up FTaH again is because the second half of 2019 was very, very British for me. I saw (and read) Good Omens for the first time in early June and my feelings exploded; July was very much about discovering the delights of P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster (TV show and books). Halfway through that month I remembered my everlasting fondness for the characters of The Mummy and realised the protagonists and Bertie were the same generation, more or less, and I started imagining a crossover. By the time August rolled in I was fully into TM/TMR again, reading fic and my fingers itching to at least correct some iffy parts of FTaH. This last sentence, about Jon’s and Tom’s Oxford days, would never have come out that way if I hadn’t read Wodehouse.

As soon as Tommy was on his feet he was wringing Jonathan’s hand with all the energy he’d been famous for as a boy. “Sorry, Jon, mate, I was a bit stunned –” After all these years, he still retained some of that accent, too! “– En’t everyday you bump into a pal from Oxford in the middle of Cairo! How’d you get here, for starters?”

…Tommy’s accent. *sighs* I’m not a fan of writing accents phonetically in the first place. When I write Newkirk (Hogan’s Heroes) and his Cockney accent, there isn’t much except the odd “me” for “my” or things like “d’you”. I did have to make it obvious Tommy had an accent, though, if only because later Jonathan is surprised when he tones it down to speak with the curator. (This is something his 18 year old self found incredibly difficult, btw.) @thisstableground oversaw the first chapter and gave me very valuable tips, including “en’t” (// “ain’t), which was super helpful in giving Tommy’s accent its own specificity and meant that I didn’t need him to drop “h”s and “g”s all over the place. (which he does do, but hopefully not in a way that takes you away from the story.)

As for why he’s from Liverpool as opposed to, say, Manchester or the East End of London, the answer is very simple. I’d discovered the Beatles a year or two prior and they remain one of my favourite bands in the whole world ♥

“Well, I followed my sister,” Jonathan replied, grinning. In fifteen years or so, he had not realised how much he had actually missed this accent. “She’s giving a hand to the curator of the Museum of Antiquities – she’s something of an authority now, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh aye? That’s fantastic. I en’t forgotten how you’d talk about her, y’know. On and on and on. I’m curious to see what she looks like.”

Somethingthat didn’t change after rewrites is the idea that Jon was verysecretive about his Oxford years. Tom and Evy never met before this,and Evy hadn’t even heard about Tom before.

Jonathan stole a glance at the entrance steps of the Museum, and turned to Tommy with a smirk. “Really? Well, if you really want to, I suppose I could…”

His sister had just appeared on the stairs, accompanied by the curator, an elderly man with greying hair and whiskers. The curator, Dr Fahad Hakim, has a somewhat larger role later on, but this is just a cameo to let you know he exists :o) There’s another mention earlier, too. Tommy followed Jonathan’s gaze and looked at them, goggling at Evy in particular.

“Jon – are my eyes mistaken, or is this gorgeous woman Doctor Evelyn O’Connell? I’ve read about her, she’s famous in my line of work… According to what I’ve read, she was one of the first people to make it out of the City of the Dead alive –”

He doesn’t say what his “line of work” is, but we (and Jonathan) can infer it has something to do with archaeology or Egyptology. And, incidentally, I’m setting up the first alarm bells here because, as Evy points out in the following chapter, at the time her name was “Carnahan”, so how come Tommy didn’t seem to make the connection between Jon’s bookish sister and this English librarian with the same name? The answer is: because he’s nervous (because he’s in Cairo on secret Chamber of Horus business) and as delighted as he is to see Jon again after so many years his brain went “YOU KNOW NOTHING” then backpedalled and went “…OKAY, YOU KNOW SOME THINGS.”

Jonathan’s grin widened as he nodded. “Yes, that’d be her.”

Tommy rambled on as they walked closer to the stairs, “That’s bloody amazing! I thought she’d look, you know, like in the pictures in the paper, the bookish type with glasses – your typical Southern spinster,” he added with a wink. They waited for the curator to bid her goodbye, and Jonathan, greatly enjoying the situation, crept up on his sister to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hey there, old mum – how’s your day been?”

Evy started, then her expression shifted from slightly irked to a smile at her brother’s laugh. She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Jonathan, the things that amuse you…”

SIBS!!! I love writing siblings, and those two in particular. One of the things that I find amusing/endearing is how comfortable they are with each other, physically (and emotionally) speaking. It’s all gentle touch here, light slap there, running hand in hand, lots of things you wouldn’t expect from two Very English siblings from the first half of the 20th century.

“You’re just miffed that I startled you. C’mon, I’d like you to meet someone – an admirer,” he added with a grin to Tommy, who stood there, his eyes wide. “Thomas Ferguson, an old school friend of mine. Tommy – Evelyn Carnahan O’Connell, my famous baby sister.”

There’s a couple of instances where someone introduces Tom as “Thomas”, or Tom introducing himself as such. Most of the time, though, he’s “Tommy” - until chapter 9, where we spend some time in his head for the first time and see he thinks of himself as “Tom”, and when we go back to Jon’s PoV in chapter 11 Jonathan made the mental switch to “Tom”, as well, to separate the boy from his youth from the man he’s become. I actually spell it out in chapter 17: “A lot had happened since that late afternoon in Giza when his friend had pointed a gun at him and stopped being ‘Tommy’. ‘Tommy’ was a warm memory of loud laughter, daring escapes, bright eyes over pints clinking in the comfortable darkness of a well-loved pub. Tom, on the other hand, was a fairly decent man chucked into a complex situation, who had a wife he loved dearly but lied to about his job, who had not wanted to bring harm to an old friend but had done so anyway.”

Evy held out her hand, which Tommy grabbed and shook heartily. “So you’re the old scoundrel’s sister? No wonder he talked about you – though you don’t quite fit the description now…”

“What exactly did you tell your ‘school friends’ about me?” asked Evy, warning in her voice, though the twinkle in her eye did not quite disappear. Nevertheless, Jonathan preferred to ignore her question, earning a hard nudge in the ribs.

He bragged, actually. A lot. Since he thought Tommy and Lizzie would never meet Evy, Jonathan considered himself free to speak quite enthusiastically of his baby sister’s achievements and how bright she was. Of course, he also complained a good deal, because even at 12 Evy had a penchant for being bossy that came out even in letters.

“So, what did you say your ‘line of work’ was?” he asked Tommy.

“Well – don’t laugh. I work at the British Consulate in Cairo, specialising in antique stuff. Oh, I’m sorry, Dr O’Connell,” he stammered with a glance at Evy who had an eyebrow raised, “I mean I’m one of the chief agents in the British Antique Research Department.”

No he’s not! He’s actually a secret agent, kinda :D And not remotely close to a “chief agent”, at that. Tom Ferguson is deeply in love with his wife and nothing will ever change that state of affairs, but he might have a little intellectual crush on Evy, which leads him to… wanting to impress her a little bit.

“I’ve heard of you!” exclaimed Evy. “At least of that Research Department. They’re gradually cutting off public funds – encouraging individual financing – but that won’t do any good for scientific research! Such a stupid decision is only going to –”

“So you lot are the ones she kept fuming about for half a year!” Jonathan snorted. The infamous Ferguson rotten luck struck again.

I still regret I didn’t find more opportunities to showcase how ridiculously unlucky Tommy could get sometimes. Ah well.

Tommy looked dejected. Evy must have seen this, because she bit her lip and said, in softer tones, “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. But as my brother said, I’ve been… rather upset over this. There’s been some pressure on the British Museum lately by private patrons who threatened to pull out their funding on some… sensitive collections. Without the Crown to back us up, we might have to cave in to their ridiculous demands.”

Before the rewrites, Evy’s speech used to be a lot more “private funding is bad” without much nuance or justification. I changed it to something that hopefully makes sense and justifies her previous outburst. 

“I’ll – I’ll tell my superiors about it,” said Tommy, still looking unsure. “See what I can do. I’m sure it won’t be much, but… Well. I’ll have tried.”

“That’s nice,” Evy said cheerfully, taking Jonathan’s arm and starting to walk. See what I mean about physicality? She doesn’t even ask him with a look, just takes his arm and that’s that. And he lets her, because he’d do the same thing. “Look, the two of you – I’ve had something of a rough day, so I’ll go home, if you don’t mind. You can –”

“Brilliant idea!” said Jonathan, flashing a grin at his sister. “I thought of going to the Sultan’s Casbah, but you might find it a tad – let’s say – dingy, my good friend.”

The Sultan’s Casbah, in the novelisation of the film and my personal headcanon, was the bar Jonathan patronised the night before the first time we see Evy and where he stole a valuable-looking puzzle box from an unsuspecting drunk American. 

“Worse than the Turf?” Seeing Evy’s puzzled look, Tommy explained, “Sorry, private joke. I mean the Turf Tavern, that’s where I saw him for the first time. Me family didn’t ‘ave much money, so I used to work there to pay for my studies. Very nice pub, didn’t deserve the reputation.”

The Best Beloved and I took a trip to Oxford in the spring of 2003 (by bus - 20 hours to get there, same to come back home) and while we were so broke we had to settle for a soup and some rice in a lovely Thai restaurant we did go for a drink at the Turf. I remember a dimly-lit room with dark wood, and I think either they changed a lot of it or my memory isn’t that good because it doesn’t really look like that on the Google Maps pics. Still, I liked it, and when I needed an Oxford pub for the story it’s the one I worked in. Incidentally, there was a lot of illegal gambling going on in there in the 19th century, hence Tommy’s mention of the pub’s bad reputation.

“I’m sure you did indeed see a lot of my brother there,” Evy slipped in slyly. Jonathan threw a mock glare at her.

“To think you are almost my only family. What a shame.” Then, as Tommy looked uncertain, he added, “Carry on, Tom.”

“All right. So I was one of the only students who needed a job, and there were some others who thought that it was – how’d they put it? – a ‘disgrace’ to our university.”

“Preposterous,” said Evy sternly. “As if money could take you further than talent.”

Jonathan bit back on the cynical comment that crossed his mind. Sometimes Evy’s naïveté baffled him.

“Right,” said Tommy uncertainly, glancing at Jonathan. “So, one day, a little bunch of lads come in, and Jon here was sometimes hanging with ‘em at the time –”

Because Jonathan likes to gamble with people with deep pockets :P

Evy glared at Jonathan in advance, and he threw his hands in the air. “Don’t look at me like that! I haven’t done anything!” Evy’s gaze softened, and Jonathan finished, “…Yet.”

That earned him a playful slap on the arm, and a laugh from Tommy, who went on, “Anyway, one of the blokes orders somethin’ or other, and starts to poke fun at me. Well, I was used to it, so I let them be. Then they continued, and I finally noticed that skinny lad in the corner who was makin’ fun of them for making fun of me. Didn’t quite understand what the hell was going on – oh, sorry, Dr O’Connell – what was happening.”

While John Hannah is not “skinny” by any stretch, he is rather svelte, and one of my unimpeachable headcanons for Jonathan is that he was skinny as a rake in his youth - until he went through basic training (then WW1) and his shoulders filled out a little. It’s more or less what happened to the Best Beloved, so I feel quite secure in this headcanon’s plausibility. Plus, picturing 18 year old Jonathan as a mix of awkward gangliness and skinny limbs and aristocratic poise is just funny. (and I find the comparison with Tommy - who at that point was soft and a little chubby but already had broad shoulders - rather endearing.)

Evy smiled. “You’ll have to watch your mouth in front of my son, but otherwise it’s fine. And please, call me Evelyn.”

Tommy beamed. “Right, uh, Evelyn. So, uh –”

“What he didn’t know at that point,” interrupted Jonathan, “was that I had my eye on that fellow – what’s his name – Farbow. He owed me quite a bit of money, but wouldn’t repay me. So I was looking for a way to get him back for it.”

“And get the rest of his wallet in the process, of course.”

“Evy, he owed me seventeen pounds. (Which used to be £70 until I did some research and saw that £17 was A Bloody Fortune a the time.) And he was not what I’d call a ‘decent bloke’ – nasty, disdainful piece of work he was, and his little friends with him. Always a dirty word about the Scouser who worked at the Turf Tavern, just because he didn’t belong to his snobby little world. I did the community a favour, really.”

What he doesn’t say is that Edwin Farbow also had a lot to say about “half-Egyptian mongrels” who thought they belonged in those ancient walls. Too bad I couldn’t find a way to work it in this particular fic. If I ever manage to finish at least Tommy’s part of One-Step, Two-Step, Waltz, the first chapter of Pirouette features the whole scene.

“Don’t push it, Jonathan,” warned Evy.

Tommy carried on. “Well, I was glad there was at least one person who didn’t think like Edwin Farbow – nice change. Then Farbow said something – I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember it made me really angry, really. An’ it’s not a pretty sight when I’m really angry at someone.”

It’s always the quiet, genial ones, isn’t it.

Jonathan remembered, but thought it wise to keep his mouth shut.

Both because what Farbow said was pretty damn offensive to Tommy’s character, background, and lineage, and also because Farbow’s rant included “It’s bad enough they let inpeople like Carnahan, who only exists because a glorifiedgrave-robber shagged some darkey and didn’t even have the decencyto pretend otherwise –” and he really doesn’t want to bring this up in front of Evy, who’s had to deal with her own share of this kind of racist bullshit and doesn’t need a reminder.

“An’ – an’ I just lost it, y’know? I dropped his tea over his ‘ead –”

“I say, that one was pretty funny,” Jonathan said, smiling widely at the memory. The strangled yelp that had followed had definitely been one of the best parts.

“So they all leaped for me, obviously – began to punch me, the five or six of them – hey, I still managed to get back at them!” Tommy added quickly, as if defending his honour. Evy hid a smile, and it occurred to Jonathan that that last sentence had something very Rick-like about it. “But I en’t a fool. I know a losing fight when I’m in one.”

“Don’t tell me. Jonathan bravely threw himself into the fight to take on as many attackers as possible.” There was mischievous laughter in Evy’s voice, and her eyes were twinkling. If anyone other than her had quipped that way about him, Jonathan would probably have taken offence, or at least pretended to. But they knew each other enough not to cross the line.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Well, that wasn’t quite Jon’s style – I don’ know, might’ve changed since then. But yeah, he did. One moment I was squashed under five or six, the next I found out we were two on the floor.”

This was perhaps the biggest suspension of disbelief I’m asking the reader to make - which, in a story where governments have secret agencies to keep an eye on magical ancient artefacts and a diamond has magic powers, is saying something. Jonathan throwing himself into a fight because someone he loves (ie. four people in the whole world that we know of) is in danger? Yep, that checks out, that’s what he does both in TM and TMR. But an (almost) complete stranger? I needed one hell of a justification. Which ended up… 60% Farbow’s money and 40% Farbow being a giant arsehole who had no business making decent bartenders look like that.

Evy began to laugh. “Why, Jonathan? My Jonathan, in a fight, for someone he barely knew?”

At that Jonathan cleared his throat, a mite embarrassed. “I told you, I was looking for Farbow’s wallet. That was the perfect diversion – you should’ve seen that twit looking in every corner for his lost wallet afterwards. It was three months before he gave up.” And it’s lucky you didn’t see me then. I was a bloody mess. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.” Evy smiled. “You never told me that.”

To be fair, there’s a LOT of things he never told you, old girl ;o)

“Should I have?”

“I don’t know, it’s – it was nice of you to do that, even for the wrong reasons. I’m proud of you.”

Jonathan felt an unexpected lump rise in his throat. Not a very big one, but enough to keep him from talking for a few seconds. It was always like this whenever she said something really nice to him. It caught him off guard each and every time.

Look, it took me years to realise it, but I’m a sucker for validation. Sometimes it bleeds out on characters I write.

After a little while, Evy stopped in front of a door and announced, “Well, we’re home.”

“Nice house,” commented Tommy, taking in the sand-coloured neat front and the curtains at the windows.

“Our ‘old haunt’ since the family moved to Egypt,” Jonathan said, opening the door and stepping aside to let his sister in. “Evy wasn’t even walking then.”

In the first film, Evy, Rick, Jonathan and the remainder of the American party go straight to Fort Brydon, and the next thing we see is Evy emptying her suitcase while Rick tries to fill it. Since both Carnahan siblings actually live in Cairo, I thought they would live in an actual house, and from there I extrapolated that the family had one house in England (the manor we see in TMR) and a smaller pied-à-terre in Cairo.

“I do believe I was,” Evy protested.

Jonathan snorted. “Oh, you weren’t. You crawled.”

si b l i n gssss ♥♥ And like, you can always count on a big sib to remind you that you could be ridiculous as a kid. I should know, I’m the big sister :D

Evy seemed to resist the urge to slap her brother and walked into the living room, her nose in the air. She was greeted by two simultaneous voices:

“Mum!”

“Hey, hon.”

Rick’s first words in this story, and it’s greeting his wife ^^ I didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s. Y’know. There.

Jonathan waited a few seconds, then walked into the room in turn, and grinned at the sight of his nephew looking genuinely eager to see him. He was not fooled, however – as soon as Evy wasn’t looking, Alex mouthed the words “Got one?” and frowned as his uncle shook his head. No, he still had no present for Mum’s birthday.

Evy’s birthday mainly originated as a device to get characters (especially Jonathan) moving. It’s the reason he’s roaming the streets of Cairo just before he bumps into Tommy, and why he and Alex go to the bazaar in chapter 5. It also pops up further on in the story, but I’m not saying anything because spoilers.

“Uncle Jon? Who’s that?”

“Who, him?” Jonathan pointed at Tommy behind him, looking uncomfortable at the family reunion, and Alex rolled his eyes. “Tom Ferguson, he was in class with me at Oxford. I ran into him by chance today.”

Tommy stepped past Jonathan and held out his hand to Alex, nearest to him. “Hi – glad to meet you. Jon’s nephew, eh?”

“Yeah,” said Alex, eyeing him with all the suspicion of a ten-year-old who’d seen what he had seen. Behind him, Rick’s eyes spoke loads about his own distrust. But mistrust towards Jonathan and everything related was par for the course on his part, and, admittedly, reasonable.

Alex has Seen Things. This may sound tongue-in-cheek, but it’s true. After what happened in TMR, he’s 100% entitled to being suspicious of strangers. As for Rick, I took my cue from one of his first lines to Jon in TMR being “What did you do this time?” implying that the weird shit happening right now, with the men in red and the sexy lady waving snakes around isn’t exactly unheard of. Hence the “and, admittedly, reasonable”, which I added in the rewrites.

“Thomas Ferguson, British Antique Research Department,” said Tommy, holding out a hand towards Rick, who shook it slowly, still reluctant.

“Rick O’Connell.”

“So you’re Dr O’Connell’s husband? Pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m impressed, you’ve no idea.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Impressed?”

“It seems I’m rather famous in the Research Department,” said Evy, laughing.

“Make that infamous,” quipped Jonathan.

“The Department owes your wife a great deal. She was the one who uncovered a huge amount of our information about some obscure periods of Egyptian history, as well as the major part of serious knowledge we’ve got on Hamunaptra,” Tommy pointed out, and Evy blushed. “She’s a legend – one of the original three who managed to go to Hamunaptra and live to tell the tale! But… I assume you’re another one?”

Oh, Tommy. MATE. You’re saying you know three people made it out of Hamunaptra alive, one of whom a woman with the exact same first and last name as your best friend’s sister who had a passion for ancient history, but you had no idea he was one of them as well? 

Incidentally, the early installment weirdness I mentioned earlier mostly consists in Tommy being a lot more energetic and innocent-looking than he later proves to be (which is a little more grounded and pragmatic than Jon). In fact, he and Jonathan’s first couple of scenes together give the impression that he’s the red and Jon’s the blue in the “Bue oni, red oni” trope, when later chapters show Jon as a little bit more of a disaster while Tom struggles to make better choices and be more sensible. Which in the end would make them shades of purple, really.

“Yeah,” said Rick, looking a bit nonplussed. Jonathan definitely didn’t regret bringing Tommy in. Seeing Rick O’Connell confused was a very rare occurrence, too rare to be missed.

“I never knew – who was the third one?”

Jonathan was now struggling to keep a straight face. Rick blinked, and pointed at his brother-in-law. “That was him.”

“You!?” God, the look on his face was priceless. “You were at Hamunaptra?”

“Yes,” risked Jonathan, laughter rising in his voice. “And believe me, it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Oh, by the way, there were four of us, not three.”

Meaning Ardeth, of course. My take is that Tommy - and by extension the Chamber of Horus - know about as much about the Medjai as Evy knew about the Book of Amun-Ra prior to the events of TM: a non-negligible amount of information, but all of it second-hand and some of it a bit dicey.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Rick roll his eyes and grinned, undaunted. This was proving to be a fun evening.

Make the most of it, people, because it’s all going to go downhill fast…

Thank you ♥♥♥

[canaryatlaw]

okay let’s go. today was good. same deal, woke up, ended up getting stuck waiting in court for both the client and a translator and I literally waited 3 fucking hours for court, by the time we finished it was like 12:30 and I was so done with everyone. it’s the same judge I’ve spoken to the past few days and I’m like trying to gently help her along when I can but the first case was like mass chaos and of course the client spoke Spanish so I couldn’t even like have a private conversation with her (for the record that’s because she’s not my client, I’m just covering it for my work buddy while he covered another one of mine (and oh that one ended up being fun) so it was a mess and we just ended up like okay everybody leave now goodbye!!! and I had to casually wait and be like oh hey I have another case up haha and have them get the file, this case is like super old and was supposed to had a hearing in last JANUARY so it’s been way too long, and I swear the OC is really nice but the like 6 or 7 times the case has been up like every time he calls me the morning of and we decided on a next date and I cover the case for the two of us because he has a bunch of other shit to do lol. to be fair he did say this morning that he has something like 100 cases going on right now which is fucking nuts given we generally go for like 20-25 (though overall numbers have gone down with us accepting less cases) so I’m sure he is really fucking busy lol it just amuses me. we ended up finally setting a hearing date for the end of April, so hopefully we can get that accomplished then. the rest of the day I didn’t really have much to do, a bunch of my cases ended up finishing quickly and now I have like, 12 active cases, and I mean there were still tasks to be done but I was at a point with all of them that I couldn’t do anything further on them right now for one reason or another so I ended up like volunteering myself to help with clinic haha and of course then I get asked to find my certificate from the 40 hour DV training I did in June because it was needed for a report (grants and complicated stuff like that) and I knew it was somewhere in the pile of things on the floor and basically ripped up the whole room trying to find this damn thing. and of course when I’m in the middle of it, the clinic supervisor, who today was actually my boss emailed me and my other coworker who was actually on back up asking if we could review some paperwork and I was like.....I gotta find something but I’ll be back and thankfully I found it not too long after and then started reviewing the papers. I wasn’t like involved with the case at all but it was just sad, and I mean I’m aware that all of our cases are sad (duh) but I just felt a lot of empathy for this girl who had just turned 18 like a month ago and was being abused by her mother and her 26 year old boyfriend (so chances they were dating while she was underage, pretty fucking high, huh?) and hopefully we will be able to help her with both things, I just felt bad for her. anyway. I did what work I could manage until a bit after 5, I had two envelopes to mail so I attempted to go to the mailbox.....my legs had been kind of randomly shaky today but I mean who knows what’ll happen so I try to get down the steps and I’m like halfway on this one spot holding onto the railing where they just start like fully spazzing out and making my whole body shake and my grip on the railing was the only preventing me from being like shaking on the floor. the thing was this had happened before when I fell down the stairs, it had started like this on that step and I attempted to throw myself backwards to where there was a landing, but I didn’t make it there smoothly and fell down the stairs instead. but I also know more now that it usually passes after a few minutes, so I just stood there holding on for like 3 minutes until they’re like gradually stopping shaking and I can actually make it onto the landing and go the rest of the way up the stairs from there. ugh, I hate this. friend was coming over though so I started making the apple cider donuts we had discussed and I’ve made already not long ago. I almost had them in the oven when she arrived, we wanted to get panera because it hadn’t previously been on a delivery platform for us, but ubereats was doing the whole “no couriers nearby” thing which probably makes some sense because the location is like north of us, so that’s pretty far north. but we’re able to get it done on postmates, and it just took fucking forever haha but we got the food and it was very good. I got one of their new flatbread pizza things and they described their sauce as “tomato bell pepper sauce” and I was kind of like meh cuz I don’t really like bell peppers but I was like well okay I’ll give it a try, but then when I went to order it there was like a remove sauce option so I just hit that and they ended up calling and asking us if the order was right because it apparently got written that I wanted no sauce and no cheese, which I assured them was not the case lol, it was entertaining. when it came there was a big circle of my order on the receipt that had “call client” written next to it which I thought was amusing. but yeah, friend went home eventually and I watched two episodes (I think) of Chicago Fire, I’m like a few episodes away from when my favorite character is supposed to leave and like break up I think?? and they’re starting to have like the stupidest fights and they better give me a better reason than that for them just to call it quits, I’m just saying. but yeah, after watching some of that I went to shower and start getting ready for bed and now I’m here and it’s just past 1:30 am so good time to go to sleep. Goodnight friends. Happy weekend.