#'this made me really sad hold on lemme grab my sad glasses'

[sundrykitsch]

freshened up my fursona while i was at it

[vannybarber]

Rude Boy

Summary: You're practicing a dance routine at Chris' house and you can't get a move down, so he helps you out ;)

Chris Evans x Famous¡BlackReader

(Imagine you're on Beyonce's level of fame. You can sing, rap, dance, act. All that 🥰.)

Warnings: SMUT, cursing, spanking, tiny fluff.

Words: 2.8k

S/N = Stage Name

"Chris pleaseeee" you say, literally on your knees in front of him.

"I don't know if I'm qualified for that. I mean you're S/N." He rubs his face and sighs. You hate when he talks down on himself like that.

You were currently in his living room, begging for him to critic your choreography for your upcoming performance this Sunday night at the Teen Choice Awards. Its nothing different from what you've done before, but you like the feedback. Chris was nominated for 2 awards and also is attending with Scott.

"Stop acting like I'm better than you. Can you please do this for me? Please boo?" You beg him once more, using the nickname you developed for him over the time you worked together.

You met him in the beginning of both you guys' career when you both got casted for Not Another Teen Movie. Then worked together again in Infinity War after the Russo brothers discovered your years old string of tweets begging to be in a Marvel film. You both vowed to never lose touch again after that.

He smiled to himself at the nickname and finally agreed. You clasped your hands together, squealing like a 2 year old. You get off your knees, grimacing at the slight pain on the pads. Grabbing your phone and speaker out your bag, you run to one of his large spaced rooms in his house and hook up your Bluetooth.

You were ready, but hearing his feet shuffling behind you, it was evident he had no intention of speeding up. So you run to him and grab his thick arm and pull him the rest of the way.

"Alright alright I'm comin' " he chuckled at your excitement. He picks up his pace so you don't pull his shoulder out his socket. Finally making it back to the room, you grab a chair for him and make him sit in it.

He sits, getting comfortable and you quickly walk over to your phone and start the music.

Tonight I'ma give it to you harder

Tonight I'ma turn your body out

Relax lemme do it how I wanna

If you got it, I need it and I'ma put it down

You start the dance, lipsyncing the lyrics. You already have great breath control, so you don't have to worry about messing up your vocals.

Buckle up, I'ma give it to you stronger

Hands up we gon' go a lil longer

Tonight I'ma get a lil crazy, get a lil crazy baby

You swirl your ass up in the air, in doggy style position. You look up at Chris and see him looking at your butt. You just smirk and keep going.

Going into your last verse, the nastiest one, the one move you've been struggling with is coming up.

I like when you tell me kiss you there

I like when you tell me move it there

So get it up, time to get it up

You say you want rude, boy, show me whatchu got now

Come here right now

You catch his eyes and wink. He winks back playfully. You guys had flirty exchanges, but they were all joke based. One of the great parts of you guys' relationship.

You lie on your back and prepare to do the move.

Come here rude boy boy can you get it up?

Come here rude boy boy is you big enough?

You attempt the move and mess up for the 50thousandth time. Sitting up on your knees, you bring your hands to your face and groan. Frustrated, you rise and bring the music back to the last verse.

Chris gets up and walks to your side, wrapping his huge bicep around your shoulder. "Hey what's wrong, bean?" He dips his head down to look at your scrunched up face. Like he ain't just watch you fuck up the move.

"I can't get the move right. It's the one part I'm struggling with." You stomp your foot on the brown hardwood floor and fold your arms.

"Well how about you just change it to something you already know" he suggests, but you're not hearing it.

This move is perfect for the song. The move is like you're riding an invisible dick. You have to roll your hips twice and jump back up on your feet, ass in the air, right away. But your rolls are so mechanical and stiff. And you need to do it so you can go into the next move right after.

After you explain this to him, you sit down feeling defeated. He comes over and crouches infront of you, hands on your thighs. You stomach twirls a little. You haven't gotten any in like 2 years, so simple touches you riled up. It's honestly sad.

He scans you from your legs, stops at your lips and up to your eyes. You narrow them at him and wiggle your eyebrows smiling, lowkey wondering why he's checking you out. He smirks and speaks.

"How about I help you with the move?" So many thoughts and images of him riding an imaginary dick on the floor evade your mind and has you giggling like an idiot.

"You gonna get on the floor with me?" You question half jokingly and half serious.

"I have a better idea." Confused, you watch him rub his big hands up your slightly bigger thighs. He reaches your hips and squeezes them, making you squeal because you're ticklish. He stands up and bends down to your level and looks you in your eyes.

"I want you to ride me, Y/N." Your body moving faster than your brain, you get up and walk to the window and stare at it. Hands against the glass you just watch the trees blow in the wind, wide eyed. You hear him laugh behind you and you turn around.

"Chris what do you mean 'ride you'?" You asked the dumb question, knowing exactly what he meant, but you needed to hear it from him. You needed to know exactly what you just heard.

"Honey, you know exactly what I mean. Can we just be honest here? We both are sexually attracted to each other, but push it aside for our friendship" he counters, walking up to you, rubbing your sides again. "Might as well admit it."

You were definitely attracted to him, but him attracted to you? Like that? The flirty jokes you guys shared with each other and the playful touches didn't really mean anything though. Right?

You didn't have time to think about that as you come back to reality and hear him calling your name.

"Y/N? Y/N, you there? You alright?" He grabs your face and checks your eyes. You slap his hand away and look at him. He's so annoying, but so beautiful. Its not fair.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this. I don't want to pressure you into sleeping with me. You're my friend." He backs up and shakes his head. "I'm sorry bean."

You heart pangs a little at his words. You actually wanted to do this. I mean as long as it didn't ruin your friendship, you were cool with it. You grab him back to you and tell him.

"Chris, you're not pressuring me into anything. I want to do it. You're helping me out and plus I trust you with my body. I know you'll respect me." You smile at him and he does the exact same.

"Are you sure because-"

"You have to thumb promise me that this won't mess up our friendship" you cut him off. "I really value that with you." You hold out your thumb, waiting for him to touch it with his. He smiles widely at you, connecting his thumb to yours and kissing his thumb nail, you doing the same.

Everything happened so fast. One minute you're making out straddling his lap and next he's picking you up and heading towards his room. And now here you are, on top of his splayed body on his bed. His tongue is still dancing with yours and his hands grip the hell out of your ass.

You both pull away after sucking out 75% of each other's carbon dioxide.

" Y/N, is this your first time riding?" He looks at you for your answer and you sheepishly nod your head, covering your face out of embarrassment. In your only two relationships, you did the same old things. Missionary and all that. You never really had control or lead so you were nothing less of inexperienced.

He softy pulls your hands from your face and chuckles. "Don't be ashamed, baby. I'm gonna help you okay? It'll be good for the both of us." Giving his famous wink, he adjusts his body a little higher.

"First, let's get these clothes off of you. Is that okay?" You nod eagerly and your heart warms up with how respectful he's being. Consent is so sexy.

He pulls your black t-shirt above your head and tosses it behind you. Observing your beddable torso he slides his hands up your ribcage, around your back and to your bra clip.

"Let's get this off, yeah?" Another eager nod. The entire time, you're just smiling. Because for one, he's being so patient with you and two, you're excited as hell. It's been a long ass time.

After your bra comes off, his hands shoot straight up to massage your boobs. They actually fill his hands and he's most definitely enjoying it. You laugh outloud and lower yourself down so he can slip one on his mouth. He quickly latched on twirled his tongue around the nipple and switches over to the other, doing the same. You throw your head back and grind on his crotch area.

He sees this and teases you about it.

"Is someone ready for their lesson?"

You whine out your words.

"Yesss." He halts his grip on your boobs and looks at you. "Yes what?" You pause and register what he's asking you. He quirks an eyebrow, waiting for your answer. You bite your lip.

"Yes Daddy." He pulls your head down by your neck and kisses you sweetly. "Good girl", he smiles at you proudly. Him praising you only made your panties even more soaked. You shift your body around, removing your tights. Throwing them to the side, you lean down and kiss him again. Only this time, you were the one removing the clothes.

After getting his shirt off and reconnecting your lips, your hands run over his chest and he moans in your mouth. You grin against his lips and reach for his belt. Pulling away, you earn a whine from him too.

Someone's eager, you think smirking to yourself.

Undoing that red belt he literally was in love with and removing his pants, his boner was on full display and you were not disappointed. According to your calculations, based off your sight, he was at least 7 maybe 8 inches. His shaft was visibly thicc and wide. You were in for a treat.

He watches you gawk at his coCk and thrusts up into your hand, making you squeal. He could literally feel the excitement radiate from your body. But he was way more excited than you could imagine.

"You like what you see, pretty girl?" You look back up at him and stick your tongue out like a child. You truly could not stand this adorable puppy man child. His hand rests on the side of your face and his thumb grazes over your cheekbone.

"Take it out for me, baby girl." All these nicknames he was giving you did not help your horny predicament. You reach inside his Calvin Klein's and feel for him. Grabbing his humongous length, you pull it out and pull the boxers down and off his legs.

Absentmindedly, you stroke him, dragging your thumb over the head and collecting the bits of precum sitting. He groans lowly, bucking his hips up into your closed hand.

"Now you're just gonna get up and sink on it slowly, okay? Stop for a second if it hurts" he coaches you. Following his orders, you move up so your core is right on his tip. Slowly you sink on him.

The slight pain does not go unnoticed as he stretches you out. Ignoring it, you push down a little more.

"That's it, sweet girl. You're doing so good for me. So good." He rubs your hips encouragingly, relieving some of the pain. When you finally get him completely inside, you look at your bodies connected, shocked you even got him in so easily.

"When you're ready, just move back and forth. If it gets too much, let me know and I'll help you. Okay, pretty girl?" You let out a soft 'yes', clenching around him. After most of the pain subsides, you move on him. His heaving breathing doesn't slip past you and neither does your tiny whimpers.

"There you go baby. You're learning so fast. Just keep moving, just like that." He throws his head back gritting his teeth. The pleasure is coming in fast and you moan out his name. Hands on his chest, your hips roll against his, cock sliding in and out of you. His hands on under your butt help you move swiftly.

You speed up at his praises and a swat lands on your bottom, leaving a tingling feeling. As if you weren't already fired up, that did it for you. Your pace increases and your skin slaps against his, echoing in the bare room. A yell leaves your mouth as reoccurring ecstacy shoots through your body everytime you slide back down on him.

Chris tries to grip onto you but his hands keep slipping.

"Fuck, Y/N! You're doing so perfect. Ride me just like that. You're such a good girl"

He starts to meet your rhythm, rutting up into you. Now you're screaming and the slaps get louder, his hands coming in contact with your ass more frequent. You feel the coil in your abdomen and you aren't short of letting him know.

"Daddy I'm- Fuck I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!" You balance yourself with your hands on the sides of his head and give it your all one last time.

"Let go baby. Cum for me. Cum all over my cock, sweet girl." You didn't need to be told twice. Your eyes twisted shut and your pussy gripping around him, you cum all over his length. He thrusts a couple more times and shoots his load inside you, filling you up. Both your bodies go limp against each other.

"That was so fucking amazing" you force out, in between breathes. You raise your head to look at his fucked out state. Pride rises in your chest, knowing you did this to him. He looks down at you, giving a dopey smile.

"You were amazing. I would've never guessed this was your first ride. Hopefully it won't be your last, with me of course." Hope is evident in his voice. You take a moment to contemplate, but you already knew your answer.

"I think we could make it happen" you say tapping your fingers on your chin and a huge grin on your face.

"Then it's settled. I think you have this move downpacked." He leans down giving you another kiss. You were in for the ride of your life.

Blinded by your excitement to perform, Sunday night came quick. You were backstage watching the program as you got ready. The movie nominations were up and Chris was nominated for Movie Actor: Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Movie Scene Stealer. Hearing his name called for both awards you freak out while your make up artists Stella tries to put on the finishing touches.

Chris honestly deserves every award he is nominated for and every one he isn't. He's so talented, but people never appreciate the actual talent around here. He doesn't win many awards so this was extremely big for him. You were so proud.

You hear Maya Rudolph present you and you get into position.

Throughout the performance you were grinning from ear to ear. Excited for the move Chris helped you perfect and reminiscing on how he helped you perfect it. The part comes up and you absolutely nail it. You look at him in the front row and see his mouth a 'good girl' at you.

When the performance is over, you take in your applause, wink at Chris and head into the back. Moments later, everyone is in the back congratulating you. Chris comes up beside you and smiles.

"You did such a good job, bean." He kisses the side of your forehead. Your bestfriend comes up and asks you how you got the move down. You look up at Chris.

"Well I had a very good teacher. He taught me very well."

Glances did not fail to be thrown across the room and your bestfriend did not fail to bombard you and Chris with questions on the ride home.

Hmmm I actually liked this one 😎

masterlist

[remingtonisleithal]

Feel better

Remington leith x female!reader

Warnings: does swearing and possibly bad writing count?

Summary: reader was feeling down, and Remington takes her on an adventure to feel better, attempted fluff

@smiling-girl thank you again for the request :) hope this works!

It had been a few days since you answered your phone, too upset to respond to the calls of humanity. You'd been falling deeper down lately, struggling to be happy as things fell apart around you. Luckily for you there was a knight in shining armour; or more accurately, eyeliner and a hoodie. Remington missed your texts and calls, he knew how bad you were feeling, and he would not let the girl of his dreams suffer any longer. He arrived in full force, charging at the door to your apartment (thanking God it was unlocked) and yelling your name until he found you on the floor of the kitchen, crying.

"Oh baby," was all he said before rushing over to join you. He put an arm around you and held you tight to him, hoping that if he pulled you closer his love for you would chase your dark clouds away.

"Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"I... i don't wanna get into it. It's all just been to much lately and-" you took a deep breath and let out a sigh. He looked at you with a sad smile.

He lent forward and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before pulling his sleeves over his hands a wiping away your tears.

"It'll be OK." a pause "How about we forget about our problems for the night, hm? I say we go for an adventure." He stood up and held out his hand

You giggled. "Yeah, sure, I'll just leave the house like this, tear stained pants and a smelly hoodie. It'll be fine."

"OK then, how about you have a quick shower, then we can do anything you want."

He pulled you up from the floor and led you to the bathroom.

“Do I have to? It's safe here.” you complained.

“C'mon, it's just a little shower. You'll feel better afterwards baby.” his eyes and voice convinced you.

In record time of fifteen minutes, you had a shower, brushed your hair and got changed to go out. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that things will be OK, even if it hurts. And you walked out the door hand in hand with your boyfriend.

***

“OK, OK, but what about this? I feel like I'd look really good in this” Remington said, holding up the ugliest skirt and jacket you had ever seen. The two of you had been trying on clothes (much to the dismay of the sales assistant) for at least an hour in the massive department store full of things you knew you couldn't afford. You tried on outfit after outfit, making sure to put things back where you found them so you didn't get kicked out of the shop, and you took a million photos.

“What about this?” He held up a red lingerie set. “Not for you, for me. I would look fucking hot in this.”

“Ah yes, but that's not your size.”

“True, true. Shall we ask if they have any in the back?” you erupted into a fit of giggles, making Remington loose it too, until you were on the floor in a pile laughing so hard you were crying, ignoring the face of a lady who passed you.

“OH!” you yelled, and he turned to look at you so fast he got dizzy. “THIS! Look at how beautiful this dress is!” you were in awe at this amazing dress, and instantly ran to try it and the other clothes in your arms on.

You loved the dress... until you saw the price tag.

“Yeesh,” you mumbled “maybe we should go to a different store?” you called to Remington over the change room stall.

“Good plan.”

You opened the door and you cracked up laughing. Your boyfriend was wearing the most ridiculous straw hat on, a yellow flannel and a green scarf. A horrendous combination made even better by the multiple pairs of glasses on his face. You had to lean on the door to stop yourself from falling, knees weak from laughter.

Remington on the other hand just watched you in adoration. The way the black dress clung to your hips, the way your eyes scrunched shut in joy, the sound of your laughter. Every inch of you was perfect.

The moment passed and you left the store with a new necklace he saw you watching wistfully and a smile you had forgotten about.

“That was so fun. Thanks, Remi.” You told him.

“Was? Oh, no no no, it's not over yet sweetheart.” He said with a smirk that made butterflies flutter in your stomach.

With that he grabbed your hand and started to run, and you laughed out of a mix of joy and fear of tripping over. Winding down cement paths and through a few alleys for speed, you arrived at the train station within minutes, puffing, out of breath, and collapsing to the ground for all of a moment before a train arrived, Remington pulling you onto it.

“Where are we going?” you asked him, once you caught your breath.

“Surprise.” he said with a shrug.

***

You stood outside a hot chip shop, waiting for the man to yell your order number so you could try 'world's best burger and fries', as Remington told you. The two of you wandered aimlessly away from and into each other, tracing the lines of the cement blocks on the street. The sun was almost gone, leaving a dark yet vibrant blue across the sky, orange-tinged streetlamps lighting the scene, and a cool breeze drifting the scent of hot chips out across the empty street.

Remington held both your hands, tugging this way and that, tracing the your hands with his thumbs. He looked at you, and a smile fell onto his lips.

“You really are beautiful, you know that?” he asked you, making you blush and turn away. “Really, you're perfect. I-” he was interrupted by the man yelling for you both to collect your order. You looked back at Remington, waiting for your boyfriend to say 'I love you' for the first time, but he just smiled and pulled you closer for a quick kiss before walking over to take the bag of food, hand never leaving yours.

“Just one more destination.” he told you.

***

The park was small, with a few tall trees, a set of swings and a small structure the two of you got stuck in and had to pull each other out, laughing like you were five years old again. You sat on the cold grass and ate chips and burgers, and were in heaven. The burgers really were as good as promised, and the man beside you made everything infinitely better.

“You know, I feel like we're ignoring the swings too much.” You said, jumping up and pulling Remington over to them.

He stopped and look at them, eye brows furrowed, nodding to himself.

“Rem? Remi? Whatcha thinking?” You asked, concerned, knowing where this was going.

“I think I can climb this.”

“No.”

“Really, if I just-”

“No.”

Silence.

“Stop me.” He cried, up on the structure in record time, and hanging upside.

“HAHA I KNEW IT!” He yelled, struggling to laugh. You just sighed and shook your head, trying to hide your smile.

“Aw, come on. You had to know I was gonna do that.”

“OK, OK fine. But maybe I wanted you to do that.” You countered.

“Oh really? What for.?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“To spiderman kiss maybe?” You walked up to him, to give him a soft kiss, but laughed as the heights were all wrong and he was at a weird angle.

Jumping down he walked up to you without slowing down, and mumbled “Is this better?” before kissing you with passion. Time stopped once again as you created a world of your own. Moments, minutes or life times later, you pulled away to catch your breath.

“Race you to the tree.”

“What?”

“Race you to the tree!” Remington yelled again, and you bolted after him.

Climbing a tree at night in a park you'd never been to was not your brightest idea, but hell was it a fun one. You climbed at high as you could, making sure the branch was thick enough for both you and your boyfriend. Once you got settled, you next to the tree trunk, Remington on your left, you shivered a little at the cold night air.

“Here, lemme help.” he said, taking off his leather jacket and placing it around you. It was warm and smelt like him, and you held it tight against you.

“Thank you.” you smiled at him.

“You know I love you, right Y/N?” he asked, vulnerability visible in his voice. You breath hitched as you looked the love of your life in the eyes.

“I love you, too.” You whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

What felt like hours past, and eventually you climbed down, Remington going first, so when you jumped down he caught your waist to lower you. You grabbed your bag and he put the rubbish in the bin. Smiling, you walked back to the station.

***

At the door to your apartment, Remington kiss you once more. He left his forehead against your, looking you in the eyes to ask you, “do you feel better now, my love?” and all you could do was smile, nod and hold him against you.

*lemme know if anyone wants a part 2 (with a lil' smut)* :D

[muffindaddystyles]

Hearth.

A/N: I dunno if I've got any desi/brown/poc readers but if you're reading this I love you so much and you (us) deserve the same validation and representation others get.

Here's a blurb as to what it feels like celebrating Eid with Harry! Enjoy!

Warning: none — just loads of fluff.

More Inspos, Masterlist, Let's Talk

The night's pretty with murky clouds and thick layer of moon's brightness as Y/N cleans her flat, from scrubbing her Persian rugs to deep cleansing her vases back from her homeland. The flame evaporating from her candles scented like springs of Kashmir, flickers from her blowing sheer curtains due to the zephyr flurring outside.

She feels content, at peace waiting for Harry who promised that he'll be at her place by 11. He always comes an hour early helping her in setting the table before the iftari, they've been doing it together since the start of ramdan until today when he texted her he's busy along with a sad smiley.

It was fun. He fasted with her once or twice and would make sure she's hydrated enough once they break it, his love for rooh-afzah (it's a drink red in color made from essence of roses and some sweet herbs) will never fail to make her giggle as he'd demand for more after gulping two glasses already.

Then showing her his tummy along with his food pregnant jokes.

Her classes are online so it gave her time to experiment some cooking. They'd make samosas together and she always had an urge to hold back her cooes as his tongue used to poke out in concentration everytime his diligent fingers folded the samosa sheets skillfully.

"Did a pretty go'job here, innit?" He'd grin raising it like a summat trophy.

The moment he used to leave her flat (ofcourse after giving a tight hug before doing so) they both missed eachother terribly, y/n doesn't like the way her home falls into an abyss without his presence.

He's like a sunshine that warms her insides up.

The whistle of kettle and several raps of knocks on her door drags her from her fond memories of them together, she slings her feet down from the coffee table rushing to open it.

"Angel."

Harry says breathlessly prolly because he climbed three flight of stairs to get to her or that he's utterly flustered.

Her eyes remain struck at the thingies piled in his arms, a box of chocolates, many brown bags and stems of freshly blood ripped roses tucked between his knuckles.

He bought all of these gifts for her.

To make her feel like home.

To be her home.

What the fuck, nobody has ever done that for her —-- she just mighty cry.

Her mouths gupples like a fish too overwhelmed to react her emotions out and he gives her a sweet smile kicking the door shut with his feet -- gestures her to wait when she almost jumps like a cub to hug him and puts everything on the sofa knowing the things inside them's too delicate.

"C'mere, baby." He grins and she doesn't waste a moment falling in his embrace. Her cheeks smashes against his taught chest and she fists the hem of his shirt smiling too hard for her own sake as he sways them with his own rosy cheek squished against her temple.

"I love you so much, thank you." She murmurs gazing up at him with glinting eyes -- arms still lopped around his waist and his chin doubles adorably as he gives her his signature bunny grin kissing the tip of her nose, "Love you too bubba ... don't want ya homesick, at alllll."

The aggressive whistle of kettle parts them away, "Cuppa cha? Then we'll unwrap these pleasanteris." She points at the paper bags.

He nods flopping onto the floor cushions beside the large oak window of the balcony where they could bathe in moonlight.

"Thank you." He quips, kissing her fingertips while slipping his fingers under the handle of mug and takes it from her as she sits infront of him. He admires her for a second —- fawning over how she's looking so soft and cuddle-able wearing a baggy mauve kurta and some mismatched shalwar.

The tearing open of the stuffing tissue brings him back to focus --- this, he wanted to see this happiness dance over her features as she clutches the ethnic traditional dress he bought for her infront of her and when lifts it down he's met by overly excited eyes.

It's ethereal with golden details, handmade wire work and sheer fabric.

"It's gorgeous, pups." She squeezes his hand and he takes the sip of his cha smiling against the rim of the mug shyly, "Wasn't s' sure -- Sarah helped me in collecting stuff." Sarah's Y/N's bestfriend who was the only desi/brown in her filming class.

"No wonder she was being a lil sneak." Y/N chuckles already rummaging for what comes next.

He wanted to make sure he gets her everything they do traditionally in her culture and ate Sara's ears off to help him buy the most special thing and it's right there creating sweet noise when they touch eachother, dangling from her fingers.

"Churiyan .... " She whispers bitting down a smile. She loves glass bangles. Their colourfulness cheers her mood up and she'd always go with her Nani a night prior eid to select the most flamboyant pair of them from a bazar (market).

"This -— " She gestures to the gifts scattered around them, " —-- all of this and you, means alot to me." She sighs giving him a wet smile and he smoothes his thumb against her cheek like she's the most fragile thing to exist.

He watches her in a tad confusion when she stands up with a giggly squeal putting everything away and comes back with a tube of henna in her hand.

"It's chand raat t'night 'cos tommorrow is eid -- usually I spend it with Sarah and we apply henna to eachother, we're horrible at it honestly but now she isn't here 'm gonna bite yours ears —-" He cuts her off. Ushering her to sit back on her spot. He couldn't be more glad to spend all of his time with her whether it's just watching her make designs on her hand with henna.

"Your cha's waftin'." He shakes his head bringing it to her lips, "It's hot." She tells him drawing a circle on her palm and filling it with beautiful darkness of henna.

"Okie then ... " He blows at the hot beverage to cool it down and again brings it to her lips, "Now." He croons softly to her. She holds his wrist taking a sip from it -- he tucks the strand of her hair back and she smiles up at him making him chuckle when she takes a huge sigh as if her soul just woke up.

"What do we d'tommorrow?" He asks. Knowing most of the time they went to Zayn's house on Eids his mother used to fill the whole table with delicious dishes and the whole day was spent having fun.

"We do nothing but have loads of nice time -- I already made a dessert 'cos I know I'll be too lazy in the mornin', and invited your friends if that's okay?" She glances up at him done with her left palm.

"Perfect then," He nods, "D'ya need help with the other one?" He asks grabbing her right hand and the tube of henna from her.

"Yes, please." She shows him her hand covered with with henna and since it's wet she could do one thing wait or let him do it. The second options sounds more good.

"Not on me if it gets messed up." He warns her nonchalantly following the same pattern of her left hand. Stealing glances of her attractive face every now and then, dotting her moles with his intense gaze, he just thinks her brown eyes look more intricate – it's specks as if the forests soil on the first rains when they dilate with her racing heartbeat.

They're like an open book to him and at the same time mysteriously dark that he feels like burning a match to melt in them.

"You did it way better than me," She snorts examining it closely and turns the other way round to lay down on the carpeted floor and rest her head in his lap. He wipes his own hands watching the dark henna leaving a swipe of color on his fingertips.

He pets her hair, dimples milking into his cheeks when she raises her both hands infront of him -- blocking the moonlight that's falling on her, "When I was small I always used to end up getting it on my face and lemme tell ya. Having a yellow blotch isn't even a tiny bit fascinating on the only day you could dress up fancy."

His chest rumbles with giggles and he brings her hands closer to her lips blowing raspberries at them to get them dry early.

Comfortable silence envelopes them in to the point where they could hear crickets singing outside and moonlight sparkling on their skin —- she breaks it cuddling up into his chest.

"I really appreciate this, Harry." Her voice hushed whisper and her cherry stained lips couldn't resist but to patch kisses where his heart lays and she could sense it kicking a pace, "The fact that you did so much just for me -- is beyond my thought. I really feel like home." He let her speak. Squeezing her shoulders to convey the fierceness of his emotions he holds for her. His silken lips pressed to her temple and his eyelids flutters with each spurt of breath she inhales.

"I'll keep making you feel like home, till the day you'll allow me." Today. He for actually felt that his home was never a building or the luxurious furniture adorned inside it, but her. It's always gonna be her.

Because the moment he gets lost in those eyes all he come across is their shared laughter, their moments spent on this balcony right outside sipping onto their chas and watching the city wake up infront of their eyes, going to places he has never been to before, doing things he never thought he'd do in hundered years —- he isn't a big fan of spices but he still pretends like a big boi infront of her while eating pani puri she's oh so obsessed with.

The times she was never embarrassed to introduce him to her community or her friends, and getting soaked into rains even though they could've just used his car, having days planned to make him try new desi dishes, going to buy candles of many scent and shapes with him but then never feeling like leaving the store until he warns her that he'll throw her on his shoulder infront of everyone.

Going to Turkish markets together. He's a bread lover and so all this time he doesn't feel like leaving the shops filled with different kiln and tandoori breads. Eating Simit and drinking black tea in the amardu cups sitting outside the cafe –- he likes it with cheese while she might sound bland she just likes a bit of butter.

Them deciding for hours and hours which Persian rug to buy -- but never buying it apologising to the shop keeper.

Giving eachother head massages from the organic rosemary Morrocon oil that one of her friend gifted her, (Y/N) thinks she's one hell of a masseuse but Harry thinks otherwise —- though he would never ever break her heart so it's better keeping it a secret.

His nose creates a purring sound while he sleeps leaning against the wall, he doesn't even remember when he fell into the deep slumber with his large hand still wrapped around her wrist in a protective manner to keep her from moving.

It's cute.

Though when she stirs to regain consciousness with the birds chirping outside she feels remorseful finding him sleeping in such an uncomfy position just because of her and he wakes up with a loud wheeze —- blinking rapidly to see what just happened only to visibly relax back when she shushes him gently.

"Baby .... shit." He grogs out, knuckling at his eyes pointing at her jaw which's covered into a orangish streak, "Don't tell me." She groans bumping her head against his bicep.

A moment later they burst into fits of hoarse giggles and chuckles. She'd try to suck in air to not to snort and would do it nonetheless driving them more into belly aching laughter.

"Eid Mubarak, I guess?" He cackles loudly. Dimple coveting in to his velvet of skin. Rubs the tip of his nose against her's affectionately and swoons her in his arms to hug her warmly.

"Now -— go 'n dress up, c'mon." He cups the nape of her neck playing with the baby hair there and she whines smushing her face against his chest, "No. Lemme sleep some more."

"Heyyy none of that, c'mon sleepy girl you'll regret it later." He boops her nose smiling down at her fondly and she grumbles mumbling something in between you're so annoying or you're being so much like my mum.

He waits for her laying on the sofa with his arms folded and eyes closed. Prolly took a mini version of nap only to perk his head up grabbing the back of sofa when she returns with wet hair, soft clean face and lips tinted cherry wearing the dress and bangles he bought for her.

An enchantress from head to toe, he wouldn't even complain if she bewitches him.

He needs someone to pinch his bum because he thinks his eyelids might have struck. He takes a dramatic breather mischievously, pupils dilated cutesly and heart shaped lips parted with the sweet loving words in praise of her beauty burning at the tip of his tongue.

His fawning gives her butterflies. Expanding her chest with warmth and she does a three-sixty when he spindles his nimble in the air demanding her to show herself from every angle.

Her head falls back. An echo of happy giggles resonating in the room when he smacks his hand against his chest and flops into heaps of sofa cushions.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, a total knockout." He walks towards her with his hands spread open and takes her's to kiss the inside of her palms, "So are you." Her voice small with shyness. He sits on her on sofa and stays beside her with his chin perched upon his knuckles staring at her like she hung the moon -- as if she's a prayer come true.

"Did you get me ready to d'nothing?" She turns towards him. The curled up fringes kissing the apples of her cheeks same as his fingertips are dying to do so.

"I might sound selfish but it was a trap to get you ready early so I could admire you till everyone squeeze between us ... " He smirks and she huffs sinking deeper into the sofa throwing her limbs in air and his breath hitches when her bangles clanks together producing a beautiful noise.

"Harry!!" She whines.

"Okie, time to fill some grumpy kitten's tummy." He announces standing up to head to kitchen and she shakes her head with a silly smile trailing behind him.

All she knows is that. This Eid she'll have the best time of her life, as she could already feel his energy and love radiating in every corner of her home.

.

@harryforvogue idk why but everytime I'd sit to write this blurb you'd pop in my mind, hope so you're not hiccuping wildly.

[sxngshine]

Phobia

• Pairing: Chan x reader

• Word Count: 4.26k+

• Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

• Warnings: a bit of drinking, car sex, oral(M receiving), unprotected sex(wrap it up), switch!reader, dom!Chan idk what else but don't read if you don't like smut.

• Summary:idk how to explain without spoiling shhsshhs just read it.

• Notes: This was a long overdue story dedicated to @braveshin djsjxs. I had it half done but then went ia but now I'm kinda back so here you go🤧🤧. This is my first full/complete smut so apologies for the lack of knowledge in that part lmao. Happy reading💞! [Edited but possible mistakes lemme know if I missed smtn]

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You hadn't seen him in ages. After you both confessed to each other you thought everything would be all rainbows and peaches between the two of you. And to be honest it was. But then there was just one issue, the both of you were super awkward when it came to intimacy.

You always had the regular kisses and hand holding and hugs like every other couple. But the issue was that neither of you tried to go father in fear that the other wouldn't like it or would be uncomfortable.

That was 2 years ago. Now the both of you live separate lives without each other. He had gotten his dream job as an artist, you saw him on TV quite a lot and it made you miss him even more.

You got your dream job as well, one that allowed you to travel a lot and on the side you were a well known content creator. People admired you for being able not only work through a super busy schedule, but also create original content for your viewers.

The both of you had tried maintaining a long distance relationship, but you felt like you were drifting away from him because of your busy schedules and being unable to talk. You had enough of it one day, missing him and hating that he was never around anymore.

In the end, you both decided to stay friends but lost contact with each other in a matter of months.

There were many regrets that you had, many things you wish you had said and done but it was too late now. You never even once told him that you loved him properly and you always wished you could go back in time to tell him.

After so long, you would think you'd finally be over him, but here you are sitting in a club drinking your problems away.

You didn't really want to be here, you were on break for a few days and wanted to mope around your apartment after seeing him perform his newest album , but your friend dragged you here with a hope of loosening you up and after getting you to drink 6 shots of whatever concoction she stirred up, it started to work.

You didn't drink too much though, enough to get your mind off of things but not enough to be super hungover the next day.

You expected the night to go by with you sitting alone with your glass of whatever your friends gave you as you watched your people dance too close too each other.

What you didn't expect though, was to see him walk through the door. You were beyond shocked, what's he doing here?

It looked like his old group of friends dragged him here. You watched him discretely -or at least tried to- as he looked around the place with clear distaste in his eyes, wanting to be anywhere else except here. But the moment his eyes met yours, all those thought flew out of his head like they were never there in the first place. Your eyes widened and it was like time had stopped.

The harsh music in the background was nonexistent at this point and the other people disappeared. It was just you and him. His friends went to go find a vacant table but he made his way over to you instead.

You looked away and prayed he wouldn't come over but it was useless because in a matter of moments, you were faced to face with the one and only person you were trying to forget about.

"Y/N? Is it really you?" He asked, clear surprise in his eyes.

"Hey... Chan," you greeted, smiling nervously as you looked anywhere but his eyes.

"How're you? I haven't seen you for so long I almost didnt recognize you! You look so different," He exclaimed.

It was true, you completely changed your look after the both of you lost touch. Your once short hair was now at your waist, the once all black and baggy wardrobe was replaced with bright, slightly more fitting clothes (you were quite sad but you loved your new clothes so it was okay). You held yourself high with confidence which was foreign to him because you were normally so shy.

His eyes raked over your outfit, you wore a tight sparkly navy blue dress that ended mid thigh. Your shoulders and collarbones bare due to the skinny straps and low neck.

You couldn't help but look him over as well. He was clad in black ripped skinny jeans and a black tshirt, blonde hair untamed on his head. His chains sparkled under the flashy lights of the club and his leather jacket was doing his arms wonders. In other words, he looked hot. But you couldn't just say that.

After shamelessly checking each other out for a solid 2 minutes Chan cleared his throat.

"So uh, mind if I sit down?" He asked, giving you a small smile in which you returned with a nod.

The both of you started catching up, talking about your accomplishments and old memories you shared. You wanted to get some fresh air after a bit so the both of you grabbed your things and walked outside, the cool air sending pleasant shivers up your spine. You strolled down to the parking lot and Chan offered to drive you around in his car which you accepted.

"If you don't mind, can I take you somewhere?" He asked, after a few moments silence.

You nodded and Chan drove you both to wherever he wanted to take you. Fifteen minutes later the both of you arrived at a cliff that overlooked the city.

You remembered it being a place you and Chan visited often during the night, the city sparkling under you as the both of you goofed around. You had made many memories here.

"You still remember this place?" You asked, getting out of the car and walked over to the edge, leaning against the railing. "I haven't been here in ages!"

"How could I forgot? This was an important place to me." He answered, coming up beside you, looking over at the city illuminated by thousands of lights.

Then a silence fell upon the two of you. You didn't feel the need to say anything, just enjoying the silence and the distant buzz of the city. It was... comforting.

"I missed you Channie, I missed you a lot." You said out of nowhere. You weren't looking at him, but you could tell he was looking at you. The alcohol was getting to you but you didn't mind, needing the extra confidence.

"Ever since you left, I started regretting not doing so many things. I never got to tell you how much you meant to me, how important you were. I wish I could've told you how much I loved you and cared about you. How I never actually wanted to break up and how broken I became when we did," you felt tears form in your eyes as you poured your heart out to him.

"I said I was doing great before but I lied, I spent a good month locked in my room just crying. I was such a mess and then we just stopped talking and my whole world just broke apart and I just-" your voice cracked as tears now fell freely down your cheeks. You bent down and buried your face in your hands, sobbing hard.

Chan was so caught off guard with your confession, but he knew right now wasn't the time for him to be acting like that. He bent down beside you and pulled you into a hug, allowing you to cry as much as you needed while he rubbed your back.

When he felt like you had mostly calmed down, your hard sobs turning into small sniffles and hiccups, he released you from the hug.

"Y/N, look at me," he said, his hand coming towards your face. You reluctantly looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy with mascara running down your cheeks.

"When I left, it took everything in me not to just drop everything and stay. I was in a terrible state when we broke up, my members kept saying I looked like a literal zombie. There were so many times where I was gonna call you but backed away cause I thought you wouldn't want to talk anymore," he admitted.

"R-really?" You stuttered, trying to even out your breathing.

Chan nodded, his eyes flickering to your lips before going back to your eyes.

"Can I-" Chan tried to say but was cut off by your lips smashing into his. He wasn't prepared for it and fell back from the force, pebbles digging into his palms.

But Chan could care less, the only thing on his mind was how soft your lips felt against his. All that built up tension between the two of you had resurfaced and neither one of you were going to stop till you were relieved.

The both of you pull away after a long heated kiss, looking deeply into each others eyes.

"Wanna continue at my place?" Chan asked, breathing heavily. You shook your head and moved off of him.

"That'll take too long and I'm not in the mood for waiting." You said, standing up before lending him a hand.

Chan was surprised by your response but it turned him in even more. "Car?" He asked, taking your hand.

You nodded and dragged him to the back seat of his car, opening the door before pushing him in gently. Once he was in you climbed in after him and closed the door.

Wasting no time, you crawled onto his lap and cupped his cheeks. "Are you okay with this?" He whispered.

You nodded, whispering a small yes and kissed him again, your lips moulding together in perfect sync. You both of you have shared kisses before, but they were only light pecks, nothing more than that. If you knew kissing Chan would feel like this you would've done this a lot earlier.

Chans hands, which rested on your waist started travelling south to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into the kiss and he used the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth.

He moaned as his tongue explored your wet and warm cavern, your tongues swirling around in unison. Chan lowered you onto the seat, hovering over you as he groped your ass.

Your arms were tightly wrapped around his neck, fingers pulling at his hair. You were in such a euphoric state you didn't realize that Chans hands had left your ass and were now removing the straps of your dress.

He moved to sit up so that he could see your half naked body, dress pooled at your hips and everything else exposed for his eyes to take in and admire. "Fuck you look so gorgeous.." Chan cursed before diving into your neck, leaving dark bruises all over your throat and collar bones.

"Chan.... take it off," you mumbled, pulling on his jacket as he attacked your neck. "I don't want to be the only nude one here,"

Chan quickly sat up and began removing his jacket, throwing it to some random corner in his car. He had been distracted trying to remove his shirt, and you took the opportunity to switch things around.

Before Chan could process what was happening, you had flipped him over onto the seat and straddled his legs, looking down at him with a mischievous smirk as you ran your nails down his solid abs, causing a shiver to run up his spine.

"What're you-" he tried to protest but you shushed him by placing your finger to his lips.

"I may have seemed like I'd submit to you before , but that's not the case here baby boy. I can dom quite well too," you winked at him, licking your lips at you took in his smooth pale skin and hard muscle. "Let me show you how much I love you too,"

You're head sunk down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. "Just relax and let me do the work," you whispered into his ear.

Chan decided to obey your wish for now, wanting to see where this would go. He was becoming harder every passing second as he felt your hand trace his abs and your mouth do wonders to his neck and chest, leaving hickeys all over.

You ground your clothed heat against his covered crotch and it was driving Chan crazy. "Quit teasing me and take it off already," he rasped.

You smirked and moved away from him. "Yes sir," you whispered, softly grinding your hips to his as you took your time unbuckling his belt. Chan had about enough of your teasing and quickly sat up, pushing you down onto the seat once again.

He glared at you as he quickly pulled down his pants, bringing his boxers down with it and brought a little relief to his rock hard cock.

You gawked at how large it was and Chan sat down on the seat, legs spread. "Put that pretty mouth to use babygirl," he demanded.

You knew exactly what he wanted and moved to first remove your dress off your hips, leaving you in just your panties. Grabbing his red and hard cock, you pumped it a few times before pressing a soft kiss to the angry red tip, eliciting a moan from Chan's mouth.

You licked a stripe from the base of his shaft back to his tip before taking it into your mouth. Chans fingers threaded into your hair and held the strands tight, pushing you all the way down his dick so your nose was touching his pelvis. Chan let out a loud groan, tip hitting the back of your throat as he pulled it out then back down your throat.

You felt tears prick your eyes has Chan showed no mercy to your throat. Your scalp was sore from the vice grip he had on your hair but you liked it, feeling your core become wetter than it was before.

You felt Chan twitch in your mouth but he pulled you off before he could come, hissing to himself as he held his orgasm in. When he felt as if he could continue without cumming with one touch he quickly motioned you to lay down once again

"You can show me how much you love me some other time babygirl, but right now I'm in charge," Chan said, hovering over your body once again.

His lips attached to your breast, rolling his tongue over the hard bud as his fingers hooked around your panties. He removed his lips from you at ask you for permission which you nodded to.

Instantly his mouth returned to working its magic on your nipples as he pulled your panties down your legs. He dropped them onto the floor, fingers slowly caressing up from your calves to your thighs, ghosting where you needed him the most.

He switched to your other nipple, once again ghosting over your core and you let out a small whimper. "Chan.. please I need you," you whined.

"I don't know... I'm having fun teasing you like this," Chan mused, moving his head away from your chest. He finally looked down at your core and smirked widely.

"Look at how wet you are babygirl, and I still have yet to touch you there," Chan's pride had gone through the roof, pleased that he could make you feel this way.

Finally showing you some mercy, he rubbed his fingers against your core, cause you to moan and buck your hips against his fingers, trying to get more friction.

Chan held your hips down with one hand while the other collected your wetness on his fingers, dipping in into your entrance. You let out a gasp as you felt his finger push inside you, not used the feeling.

"Goddamn Y/N, I only put in one finger but your still so tight," chan groaned, pumping his finger in and out of you before slipping in another one.

You moaned, bucking your hips against his fingers. You were so lost in trying to reach your high you didn't realize Chan stopped moving his fingers.

"Shit- that was so hot." Chan cursed. That's when you realized he wasn't moving. Your eyes snapped open and looked into his dark ones already staring hard at you.

"Do you like fucking yourself on my fingers? Does it make you feel good?" He asked, pulling his fingers out of you.

You whined, feeling your orgasm slipping away each second he wasn't touching you.

"When I ask a question I expect an answer babygirl," Chan demanded.

"Yes! Yes I do," you replied quickly, hoping he'd start doing something again.

"Do you want my fingers to make you come?" He smirked, his wet fingers lightly rubbing your folds.

"N-no! Please Chan I need you," you cried out when he pressed his fingers on your sensitive bud.

"What do you need babygirl? Tell me," he continued teasing you, fingers circling your entrance.

"I want you to fuck me please," you whimpered, hips twitching from his agonizingly slow movements.

"You'll need to do better than that," he retorted, stopping his actions.

"I-I want you to fuck my pussy with your cock Chan- hnmf!" You tried to say but were cut off by Chans fingers being pushed into your mouth. You instinctively swirled your tongue around his fingers, sucking your essence off his fingers.

"Such a good girl..." he muttered, taking his finger out of your mouth. He lined himself at your entrance before cursing under his breath.

"Can I go in raw? I don't have a condom on me.." Chsn asked, looking at you for permission.

"I'm on birth control, it's okay," you confirmed. Your heart swelled at how he still asked you for consent rather than just going in for it.

Chan didn't waste another second, slowly pushing his head into your throbbing pussy.

"Fuck..." you both moaned. Chan slowly eased his way into you, giving you time to adjust to his thick length stretching you out deliciously.

Your jaw fell slack when he bottomed out, feeling so full with him completely inside you. He gave you a second to adjust before drawing out of you almost completely and then pushing in again, setting a slow pace with deep thrusts.

You couldn't do anything but moan, fingers clutching Chans biceps as he lowered his head back to your chest.

"Chan.. harder.. go.. harder," you panted, letting out a loud moan when he did just that.

Both of you were lost in a euphoric state, trying to chase your own highs. You felt a knot like feeling in your stomach, one that was growing tighter and tighter with each hard and deep thrust Chan gave you.

"I-I'm so close," you cried when Chan hit a particular spot that really had you screaming.

"Cum baby," Chan whispered in your ear. And that's all it took for that tight knot to come undone.

You moaned Chans name as you came all over his cock, walls clenching around him so tight that it had him shooting his hot seed deep into your womb.

Chan help both of you rode out your highs, but didn't pull out just yet. You could feel him becoming soft inside of you.

"That was amazing..." you panted lightly, a smile gracing your face. Chan stared down at you, nodding his head in agreement.

He slowly pulled out of you, cum dripping from your pussy to your ass. Chan quickly grabbed a box of tissues from the back and cleaned the both of you up.

You sat up and pulled your dress back on, not liking how quiet Chan was being.

"Chan? Are you okay?" You asked. Chan's head snapped up, turning to you.

"What- oh uh.. yeah I'm okay," he said, but you were unconvinced.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong?" You pressed. Chan just sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I-I feel like I this was a mistake. I spent so long trying to get over you. I thought I was while I was overseas but then I was pulled to that stupid club and saw you. And all that time I spent getting over you went down the drain just like that. And to makes things worse, I just fucked you!" Chan admitted, frustrated he ruffled his hair aggressively.

You felt your heart shatter. He thought this was a mistake...? You swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from forming.

"Y-you think what we did just now was a mistake?" You asked, voice cracking slightly.

Chan realized what he said and instantly started denying it. "No no no, I don't! It's just that, we spent so long getting over each other, you yourself said you're not over me. And i just made it worse for you,"

"I don't regret it Chan." You stated, looking at him with glassy eyes. "Everything that just happened, I don't regret any of it."

Chan looked at you sadly, pulling you into a hug. You buried your face into his shirt, feeling a few tears come out of your eyes and soak his shirt.

"Chan, if you could, would you date me again?" You mumbled, feeling kind of drowsy.

"Definitely. I wouldn't hesitate to ask you again," Chan answered. You thought for a second before replying.

"Then why aren't you saying anything now?" You ask. Chans brows knit together in confusion. He sits you up straight and looks into your eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's holding us back from dating now?" You asked, looking right back into his eyes.

"Y/n... I'm gonna be travelling a lot. I'm only here for the week then I'm going to be going on tour for the next 2 or 3 months. We'd never work out. The same thing that happened before will happen again and I can't go through another heartbreak." Chan said dejectedly.

"I-I'll wait for you Chan, I swear. No matter how long it takes. I was selfish before and only thought of myself. I'm more open minded now, I don't mind waiting. Just please don't leave me again." You pleaded, hands clutching his shirt.

Chan felt his own tears forming, a small smile forming on his face. He cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears from your face.

"Are you sure? You'd have to be very patient with me then. I won't be able to text often, I'll be out of town at least 3 times a week, I won't always answer your calls. I'll be tired and unable to take you out on proper dates most of the time, they'd be pretty rare. Do you think you'll be able to handle all that." He asked, resting his forehead against yours.

"I'll be as patient as I possibly can. No matter how tired you are, or how far away you are or how busy you are. No matter what mood you're in. I'll support you however I can and be as understanding as possible. I promise." You answered, a smile forming on your face as well.

"Well then L/n Y/n, will you be my girlfriend... again?" Chan asked, giggling a little. Your smile turned into a grin and you kissed Chan softly.

"Does that answer your question?" You asked after pulling away. Chan pecked your forehead and nodded.

****

Chan was driving you home, not realizing how late it had gotten. He held your hand in his while keeping the other on the wheel, refusing to let go when you told him to keep both hands on the wheel.

You and Chan caught up along the way, with Chan talking about his music and future albums and you talking about your life as a content creator and your job. Chan, much to your dismay confessed to watching your videos when he was bored or too lazy to continue working, claiming that your videos were very entertaining and creative.

"The way you were trying to get dress coded at work had me laughing like crazy!" Chan exclaimed, stilling laughing while imitating how happy you were when you finally did get dress coded.

"Everyone's worn that shirt at least once! I was determined to wear it as well. Besides you gotta break the rules every now and then," you winked, giggling right after.

The both of you were silent for a little while, simply enjoying each others presence before you accidentally snorted out loud. Chan glanced you with an eyebrow raised. "What was that?"

"Sorry," you giggled, a faint blush on your face out of embarrassment. "I was just thinking about everything that happened. We did everything in the wrong order. You were supposed to asked me out first, take me in a date and then we'd get to the fucking stage. But we went straight to fucking then you asked me out."

"We're unique. We don't follow the rules." Chan laughed. "By the way, I'll take you on a date tomorrow."

You snorted again, loving how messed up your sequence was. "Okay, I can't wait."

And from then on you and Chan found yourselves living your best lives with each other. Nothing like the first relationship you had. Rather than showing a lack of affection and communication like before, you were much more the opposite. And that's exactly how you'd perfer it to be.

Fin.

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Should I make an alternate ending or a part 2👀? I kinda wanna make y'all cry jdsjka.

[sergeantsporks]

Nowhere Else to Go

Rating: Teen, Gen

Graphic depictions of violence, Major character death.

TW: Self-harm, mentioned child abuse, emotional manipulation

Chapter 3/4: Smoke and Mirrors

Ch 1, Ch 2

The sound of shattering glass woke Lilith up.

She rubbed her eyes. Why was she on the floor in Eda’s room? Oh. Right. Hunter. Where was he?

She shuffled towards the direction of the sound she’d heard and opened the bathroom door. Hunter was sitting on the floor, coughing, holding Belos’ mask over his face. The mirror was broken in a spiderweb of cracks, and Lilith glanced at Hunter’s hand to see bruises forming on his knuckles. She slid down the wall to sit next to him.

“I never liked that mirror either.”

His shoulders shook. “I keep looking in the mirror—and it’s his face, and it’s his curse, and I—”

Lilith got up and left, returning with a blanket. She walked up to the mirror, her own face reflecting back at her in a thousand broken shards. She covered up the mirror with the blanket, using a plant glyph to tie it in place. She sat back down to Hunter, imitating his arms-on-knees position. She didn’t say anything, just sat there.

“I just—I think I remember some of it, he had this book, and he had all of this stuff, and then… I don’t know anymore.” Hunter slowly lowered the mask, setting it on the floor. “I woke up, and he was gone, and I was stuck like this.”

“Luz… Luz told me that one of the Palisman chose you. Where did it—”

To Lilith’s surprise, Hunter’s eyes welled up with tears, and he shrank back into himself, burying his face in his arms. She heard a muffled sob, and his shoulders shook even harder

“Oh.” Lilith reached out and tentatively put an arm around his shoulders, giving him a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

He made surprisingly little noise for how hard his shoulders were heaving. Lilith got up and left, closing the bathroom door. The instant she was out, she heard him start sobbing. Her hand shook on the doorknob, and she dropped with a thud to her knees, leaning against the bathroom door.

“Lilith?” her mother said quietly, poking her head up the stairs.

She got up, making her way down to the kitchen. “Good morning.”

“Is he…”

“I think… I think he’s finally had the time to process what happened to him. Got over the shock.”

“And…”

“He’s angry. Sad. Unsure of what he’s doing.”

“Ah.”

Lilith heard a thud from upstairs, and she grabbed a bottle of elixir, running back to the bathroom. Hunter was choking on the curse again, and he clawed desperately at Lilith’s hand when she knelt next to him.

“I’ve got you,” she promised, tilting the bottle of elixir down his throat, “That’s it. Easy, there.”

He coughed up the remaining slime and curled his knees back up to his chest. “Thank you.”

“Do you… need anything?”

He looked down to the side, chest still heaving from the attack. “No. Thank you.”

Lilith stood there awkwardly for a few more moments. ���Right. Okay.”

She went back downstairs. “Another attack,” she explained, “I’m wondering if they’re related to stress, or high emotion, like the owl beast is, or if they’re completely random.”

Her mother shifted uneasily. “If it’s like you said and the curse is going to kill him, it might just be that the attacks are getting worse because he’s closer to the end.”

Lilith’s hands curled into fists. “No. No, that’s not going to be his end. I’m not going to let him die because Belos decided—”

Her mother gently took her hand, uncurling the fist and holding her flat hand between her own. “Lilith, love. Calm down. Take a step back. What do we know about the curse?”

Lilith took in a deep breath. “We know Belos struggled for years to find a cure. He was never successful. We know the curse doesn’t follow a soul—if it did, the swap wouldn’t have worked. It follows a body. We know that the elixir has been staving off attacks, at least, so it must share some qualities with the Owl Beast curse.”

“That’s my girl. Keep it up—I’m almost done with breakfast.”

Lilith paced the kitchen floor. “We know it started on the outward appearance first—hence the mask Belos always wore. As time went on, it moved in on the inner organs, like it’s doing now to Hunter. But what about the palisman, where do they fit in?”

“What?”

“Luz teamed up with Hunter when the Emperor was trying to steal palisman—and Hunter had a palisman, but it’s gone now, and he seems pretty distraught about it, so I don’t think it just got lost or separated. Clearly the Emperor is destroying palisman for some reason, but what?!”

“Why don’t you ask Hunter?”

“You heard him crying, right? I don’t think he’s going to be ready to talk about it for a while.”

“He might not have a while, Sweet Flea.”

“Still. I won’t put him through it again.” Lilith leaned against the kitchen cupboard. “I… think he has nightmares. I’ve had curse-related nightmares before, and Eda said she had some—and in some of them she saw me, or at least a shadowy form of me.”

“You think Hunter might have a clue to where the curse came from in his nightmare.”

“It… wouldn’t be fun. For him to relive it. But Hootsifer sent me a letter about how Eda managed to unlock her harpy form from interacting with her curse in an enchanted sleep. If Hunter is okay with it—we may be able to find out more.”

“If he’s okay with it.”

“Who would want to relive their nightmares at full strength?” Lilith asked quietly, “But our options are closing off. If Eda hasn’t seen Hunter’s body running around, there’s not much we can do about getting that rat Belos to switch back. And even if we did catch him, I’m not sure there’s much we could threaten him with that would make him switch back to a dying body. It may be our best bet to cure Belos’ body instead of trying to get Hunter back in his. That would at least give us time to find Belos. Hunter said that the only thing Belos wouldn’t try was wild magic. He thinks that means there’s a cure in the glyphs. I’m not sure though, it might just be that wild magic did this to Belos.”

“Mmm.” Her mother handed her two plates. “One for you, one for your new apprentice.”

Lilith nearly dropped the plates. “App—mother!”

“What? I saw you teaching him magic! Doesn’t that make him your apprentice?”

“It’s more—I don’t know! He can’t do magic without help, I’m not sure that’s something I can—whatever.” Lilith tightened her grip on the plates, thumping up the stairs. The light was still on in the bathroom, and she slowly pushed the door open.

The plates dropped to the floor, and she skidded down on her knees next to him, grabbing his wrists.

“Hunter, no!”

A broken shard of mirror was in his hands, coated in slime and blood. He’d been gouging at the curse on his face, like he could somehow dig the magic out. His breath hitched in his chest, and he struggled against her, trying to get at his face again. Lilith’s stomach heaved as she looked at his face—he’d managed to cut to the bone, but the curse was already moving to cover it up. Blood dripped down his face, like someone in one of Eda’s grotesque horror movies.

“Hunter! Hunter, stop!”

Lilith managed to pry the shard of broken glass out of Hunter’s hands, wincing and dropping it as it cut her. His palms were bloody and scratched up from gripping the shard. He kept trying to yank away from her, his eyes wide and panicked.

“I can’t—lemme go, I have to—I can’t—”

“Hey—Hey, shhhhhhh. Shhhh, it’s okay—Hunter, please—”

He launched himself into her shoulder, sobbing. Blood and slime and tears all mixed on her dress, but Lilith didn’t care. She let him keep crying into her shoulder, gently rubbing his back.

“Hey. Heeeey,” she soothed, like she might for a frightened animal, “Hey, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

“I can’t keep—I just keep thinking—and then there’s the attacks, and I just—”

“Okay. Okay, I know. I know, it’s…” it was what? Okay? It wasn’t okay, this curse was killing him, and it was driving up his anxiety before it did. So she just hugged him tighter. “I’ve got you,” she repeated fiercely

He sniffed and pulled back. Lilith kicked the mirror shard away and opened up a cabinet. “Okay. Let’s take a look at those cuts.” She carefully bandaged up the slices on his face, then his palm. She bandaged up the cuts on her own hand, too, and held it up. “There. We match.”

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Nothing to apologize for.”

“I—I just—I—”

“Hunter. It’s okay. Really.”

He coughed, wiping away slime. “Ugh—I… I think…”

“I think you need a nap,” Lilith suggested gently, “You look awful.”

He gripped her wrist, his fingers like a vise. “No!”

“…Nightmares?” Lilith guessed.

“I can’t—I just keep seeing him, and then it’s me, and my palisman—” his eyes filled with tears. “It was an accident!” he blurted, “I didn’t mean to!”

“Didn’t mean… to do what?”

“Belos would sort of… drain palisman, take all of their magic. It staved off the curse, made it better.”

“O-oh. Did he…”

Hunter’s shoulders started to shake again. “I’d just woken up. I was confused. Belos was gone. I didn’t know where I was, or what was going on, and it tried to comfort me, and—” He buried his face in his hands. “I killed it! I killed—”

Almost involuntarily, Lilith wrapped her arms around him again. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said fiercely, “You weren’t trying to—it was Belos’ fault.”

“It was my friend,” Hunter sobbed, his voice cracking, “It was the only one I had! And I—”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lilith repeated, “It wasn’t.”

Hunter rubbed the bandages covering his face. “This stupid curse.”

Lilith caught his wrists again, gently pulling his hands away from his injured face. “Eda… has been able to control when she transforms. She made peace with her curse. Accepted it as part of who she is. Maybe if—”

Hunter stood up, hands clenched in fists. “Accept it?! Accept what?! This isn’t my curse! I didn’t do anything to get it, Belos did, and then just dumped it on me. I shouldn’t have to accept it!”

“I know—I know it’s not fair, I know it never should have happened to you, but until we can find Belos, or a cure, we have to figure out other ways to keep it from spreading.”

“I can’t accept it! I—”

Hunter broke off in a fit of coughing, gasping and choking. Lilith grabbed an elixir from her room and raced back down the hallway, tilting the bottle. Hunter gasped and sputtered, and panic started to sweep over Lilith like a tidal wave. It wasn’t working!

Hunter gurgled in a final kind of way, twitching and Lilith laid him flat on the ground, tilting his head back and pushing down with the heel of her hands on his chest. “One, two, three, four,” she started counting under her breath. “MOTHER! HELP!”

She kept pushing. “Please,” she murmured, “please work, please work, please work—”

Feathers were starting to sprout on her arms, and she willed them to go away. “Not now, owl beast!” she pleaded, “Not now! Literally any time but now!”

She pushed harder, tears rolling down her face. “Please!”

Hunter gagged and coughed, heaving in desperate, frantic breaths. He latched onto her arm, hacking and coughing.

“Lilith—”

Lilith clutched his arm just as tightly, although she made sure her claws weren’t hurting him. “Oh my magic—okay. Okay, okay, okay.” She took in a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

He coughed, spitting out more curse slime. “I—I think so. The elixir—why didn’t it work, it was working before-!”

Lilith yanked him into a hug. “I thought I’d lost you!” she gasped.

He tensed for a moment, but then slowly wrapped his arms around her. “I’m… still here.”

To Lilith’s surprise, tears were rolling down her cheeks. “I know, I know.”

Her mother finally burst in the door. “What’s wrong?! What’s going on?!”

“The elixirs aren’t working,” Hunter explained quietly.

Lilith hugged him tighter. “We’ll find something else.”

“…Lilith, dear, can I talk to you?”

Lilith sat back, holding Hunter by the shoulders. “We’re going to figure this out,” she promised, then followed her mother out to her room. “What?”

“… Lilith, if the elixirs aren’t working, I don’t think we have much time left. And you’re not any closer to finding a cure for this thing.”

“No! We’re going to fix this, I’m going to fix this! He’s just a kid, he shouldn’t have to go like this!”

“Sweet Flea, it’s like you said when he first got here. It might just be a matter of making him comfortable before—”

“NO!” Lilith took a deep breath as feathers started to sprout around her neck. “No. That’s not an option. Not anymore. I’m going to get rid of this curse if it’s the last thing I do.”

Ch 4

[theimmaterialplace]

holding on | emily prentiss x reader & spencer reid x reader | ch. 3: just the way you are

Chapter Summary: Spencer’s day after.

Contains: mentions of death.

Word Count: 2k

Comments: haha, uni is kicking my ass! sorry for the three weeks it took to post this, this chapter would just not write itself :( also i literally have future chapters finished but i need to get the in between chapters done before that so sorry! a lot may not have happened but spencer is seeing something here. he hasn't been able to come to a conclusion quite yet but he will soon... but will it be before the reader spills? also yeah, this story is filled with headcanons because i can't help myself! :D

i love jj but she gives off overbearing vibes and rn spencer needs some space from everyone that reminds him of emily/will only want to talk about his feelings. little does he know for that first part...

the next chapter is the funeral and after party!!! hope you enjoyed the chapter! lemme know what you think!

masterlist | read on ao3

I would not leave you in times of trouble

We never could have come this far, mmm

I took the good times, I'll take the bad times

I'll take you just the way you are

- Billy Joel, Just The Way You Are

When Spencer enters the room, it reveals relieved coworkers. JJ is the first one to approach him, eyes red and worry evident on her face. She pulls him into a hug as soon as she reaches him.

“Spencer, we were so worried when you left last night,” her whisper might as well be a scolding in his ears but he’ll take it because he never meant to worry his team, not like this. She pulls away and cradles his face gently in her hands.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t realize how bad it would seem to everyone. I… I didn’t want to make anyone worry after everything else.” He closes his eyes, not wanting to see the emotions that will only bring him to his knees.

Derek speaks up then and it’s like he knows. “Well, I’m glad you’re here, kid.” Looking at him, Spencer can tell he hasn’t slept and has cried the whole night through. If he had stayed with them, he likely would look the same. As it is, he barely got a few hours asleep, as haunted as his dreams were.

“Me too.”

His team is in shambles. It’s not just that Emily has gone away and left them, left him, like Gideon or Elle. No, she’s never coming back because she is dead, just like every other cadaver they’ve encountered in their line of work. Statistically speaking, death in their line of work was highly likely and it’s a miracle he’s managed to avoid it for so long.

Perhaps it’s because Emily has always been impressive but he’d never thought she’d be the one to die. If anything, he’d bet himself before anyone else on his team.

His team is talking to one another and Spencer can’t hear anything they’re saying. All their words are blurring into unintelligible words and the only thing he can see are their faces.

Rossi is a slab of stone being chipped at little by little into something unrecognizable. Hotch’s eyes are red and his face is pale and an ever looming cloud of guilt surrounds him. He wonders why; it wasn’t his fault she died. Morgan is much the same but there is an anger in him that he hasn’t seen before.

Morgan’s anger simmers underneath his skin; he’s frustrated that he wasn’t fast enough to save her or to catch Doyle. His sadness has become eclipsed for now but he knows it’s there, buried under the guilt and rage he feels. Perhaps it’s because Garcia takes on the brunt of it, the grief is written all over her face. She’s always worn her emotions on her sleeve and this hasn’t changed. He chooses not to look at her because if he does, he’s not sure he’ll be able to keep it together. Someone so vulnerable makes him want to do the same and he feels vulnerable enough as it is.

JJ is like Hotch, guilt and grief clouds her. She keeps sweeping her hair back and chewing on her cheek, a habit when she doesn’t want to focus on what’s plaguing her.

Their tells are obvious to him and he’s memorized all of them, every little action they’ve done is cataloged in his brain and this is no different. He had already known what they’d be like and what they’d do when he saw them.

He hears Ambassador Prentiss’ voice stutter when she asks why Hotch has called and he wonders if she already knows and wants to hear it before she comes down so she can grieve on her own time. He stays quiet and that’s as good as confirmation for her because her breath hitches and she says she’ll be down in an hour.

Emily never spoke much of her mother but she takes- took after her greatly. They share the same face and hair color. It’s like her mother had asexually produced because he sees no difference between the two; there was no bit of her father in Emily. The only difference between the two are the crow’s feet and smile lines on her mother’s face and he realizes that Emily will grow to her mother’s age because she died too young.

Hotch delivers the news, as expected of his status of Unit Chief, and Ambassador Prentiss is stoic and nods at the news of her only child’s death. She asks for details and Hotch is only able to give her the bare minimum and she only nods and thanks him and the rest of them. She goes up to Morgan and takes his hands into her own and whispers something only for his ears. He stiffens but nods and she goes away with the request that they inform her of their decision of when the funeral is and that she’ll pay for everything.

It’s a bit cold the way she all but announces how she doesn’t want to be included in the planning of her daughter’s funeral but Emily always had described her as cold and distant, loving only in private and when convenient.

The planning process takes up the rest of the afternoon and it passes him by quickly and he knows it’s mostly because he disassociated through most of it. JJ and Hotch shot him with worried glances all day and he just wants to go back to your apartment. He doesn’t want to go to his apartment just yet, not when he'll have to come face to face with the reminders of her in his own apartment.

The funeral is booked three days away and he shoots you a text and you respond a minute later with a simple thumbs up.

He tells the team he’ll be heading out and unsurprisingly JJ speaks up over this.

“Are you sure you want to go back home? I can give you a ride or you can come over. I don’t want you to be alone, Spencer.” Her voice is meant to be soothing in that maternal way she’s learned but it grates at his nerves. He doesn’t need to be babied. He knows she’s just worried about him but Emily’s death has left him exposed in a way that throws him off his rhythm.

“Thanks JJ, but a friend is picking me up. I’ll be staying with her tonight.” The team exchanges looks in a way that is meant to be subtle but Spencer has always had an eye for details so he doesn’t miss it but he doesn’t call it out.

“Oh well, okay, if you’re sure…?” He nods and she acquiesces but says she’ll walk him out. She waits with him outside while he waits for you. You pull up in your car with his favorite Billy Joel song on and he can’t help the tiny grin that spreads on his face.

You look tired but happy to see him and he knows that JJ probably wants to examine you but he really just wants to get out of here and cuts her off before she can say anything and says goodbye to her while getting into your car.

He can smell the aroma of Italian in the backseat and he knows you went to the little restaurant he frequents after a bad case because the food reminds him of when his mother used to order takeout because much like himself, she was a disaster in the kitchen. It made him happy that you remembered.

Billy Joel’s velvet voice is enough to fill the silence. He watches you as you drive, noticing how you tap your fingertips to the beat of the song on the steering wheel and how it’s obvious now that you’re distracting yourself from something. He hadn’t been able to see it before because he was too lost in his own grief but there was something off about your demeanor.

When you finally arrive back at your apartment, he finds it to be cleaner than it was in the morning and set for maximum comfort. Your couch is covered with soft, thick blankets with animals on them, cobijas, you had called them. He’s fairly certain that just means blanket in Spanish. The table that is usually in the middle of your living room is pushed closer to the couch and it’s where you set the food at so he assumes it’s where the two of you will be eating.

Your record player is playing jazz music. A compromise, you had told him one evening, appealing to his classical music needs with it’s long instrumentals and your love of their crooning and smooth voices.

“Hey, Spence, what do we feel like drinking tonight?” Your voice jolts him out of his observations and he looks towards you where you’re peering at the available drinks in your fridge, two ice-filled glasses set on the counter beside you.

“Arnold Palmer?” You hum and grab two pitchers from your fridge and set it out on the counter and he watches as you mix the two together so it’s not separated. You set the two pitchers back into the fridge and bring the two drinks to where he’s sitting, handing him one and placing the other on your coaster.

He watches as you take out the food from the bags and put his own container in front of him along with two pieces of garlic bread and his own fork and napkin.

Once you’re all done, you take a drink from your glass and open your container and take a bite of your usual order. He follows quickly after, knowing from experience how rapidly the food can get cold.

Time passes by and eventually the food gets finished and you’re both left alone with Billie Holiday’s voice filling the silence.

You’re nibbling on the last piece of garlic bread, your eyes focused idly on your bookshelf but more specifically on a collection of Emily Dickinson poems. He files away the fact that he’s seen this specific book somewhere and decides to ask at another time.

Once you finish, you lean your head against his shoulder and wrap your arms around his midsection. He shifts so that you’re in a more comfortable position that lets you rest against him while he’s able to hold onto you as well.

Spencer can’t help but think that you always know what he needs without him needing to say anything. It’s something he hasn’t had since Elle or more accurately, Emily. It’s not even been a month and already, he craves her affection. He misses the impromptu Russian talks and the book sharing and her calming presence. You remind him so much of her. It’s like you've taken on some of her mannerisms. Perhaps it’s projection but he’s noticed for months now how you’ve changed bit by bit into someone similar to Emily.

You must have seen his tell because you look up at him, hand finding his own and squeezing it gently before bringing it to your wrist.

It’s the little things you do that bring him back to reality, no matter how painful it is. He’s not sure where he’d be right now. Most likely with JJ and her family, all the while feeling like a burden. With you, he feels vulnerable in a way he doesn’t mind. He’s known you for years and not once, have you ever made him feel small. It’s always been easy with you and he hopes the same can be said for you about him.

“Stop thinking right now, Spencer. We can do that later, like tomorrow. You need a break right now. I know it’s hard for your big brain to shut down so just focus on my pulse and match your breathing to mine.” Your voice is slightly muffled by his sweater and he can only nod and follow your instructions.

“Thank you.” He says after a while.

“ Always, Spencer.” And like always, you understand.

The words are never said but he’s sure you know it and he knows you feel the same.

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Comfort and Care

𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(𝑭𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆!𝑫𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒅 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

Blurb: Dominique comes over to help the reader feel a bit better after a bad week

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: so this is very self indulgent! I haven’t been doing too well mentally and that isn’t really portrayed in the fic but I wrote this because of that... I hope you enjoy! (Also I may write more lost girls content? We will see what happens! Let me know what you’re all vibing with!)

You cried yourself to sleep. You could barely focus on your studies and you didn’t even have the strength to brush your teeth. 

You wanted it all to stop. The feeling to pass. You hated it and you hated yourself for it. 

You didn’t want to get up and move, but you knew you had to. 

—

You groaned and got up from your bed. Your reflection was sad— reflecting your current state— your hair was oily, a sign you needed to shower, Your skin was breaking out again, and your pajamas looked wrinkled and worn from you wearing them for days on end. 

You didn’t have the strength or energy to change and make yourself presentable, but you had plans to meet your friends at the boardwalk. 

You didn’t want to go. But you had to. They’d be upset you canceled on them. You hadn’t seen them since last weekend. 

“Ugh! Fuck it!” They probably wouldn’t care anyway. 

You went to the kitchen to grab the landline and dial-up the Emerson’s home phone. 

If Grandpa hasn’t wrecked it yet. 

It rang. It rang, and it rang, and it rang, and it—

—it stopped. 

“Hello?” 

“Michelle?” You asked. 

“Hey, (Y/N)! What’s up?” 

“Oh um, I don’t… I don’t feel good… I don’t think I’m gonna go to the boardwalk tonight.” 

“Okay… I’ll tell the others. Do you want Dominique to come over? She’s gonna be pissed you didn’t show.” 

A wave of guilt flashed over you. You hadn’t seen your girlfriend in a week… 

She was going to be upset, and you didn’t want to upset her, but you really didn’t want to go out.

“Um, I’ll see her tomorrow…” 

“Okay. Hope you feel better!”

“Thanks…” you put the phone back on the hook and went immediately back to your room. 

You turned on your small tv, not bothering to see what was on, and buried yourself under the covers, and tried to fall asleep to the sounds of the television. 

—

“(Y/N)... (Y/N)...” 

You groaned as you slowly awoke. “Hhhhhhhh…” You rubbed your eyes and opened them. 

Above you was Dominique. She was straddling your lap, her hand cradling your cheek. 

“You’re up.” 

“What— what are you doing here?” You asked. 

“Michelle said you didn’t feel good,” She stated. 

“Yeah, but—“ 

“I brought you snacks, some blankets, your heating pad you left at the cave, I even brought some movies from Darcy’s collection.”

“Thanks...” 

Dominique frowned, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired. Tired of everything. I’m so overwhelmed but I don’t do anything! I feel so alone all the time. Which is stupid as hell, but—“ 

“Oh, Kitten, it’s okay… I get it…” 

“It’s so stupid. I’m stupid. I wish I got to see you more often,” You frowned. “My parents are just arguing all the time and I’m worried they’ll drag me into it. I don’t know if I can take it.” 

“Where are they now?” She asked. 

“My mom went to her sister’s and my dad is at my grandpa’s. It’s just us.” 

“Come here,” Dominique helped you get up and lean against your pillow. “It’s okay. This feeling will pass…”

“It feels like it never will. I was doing fine for so long and now I’m not! It’s pathetic.” 

“No. You are not pathetic. You are amazing and strong and doing your absolute best.”  

Dominique tried to give you a kiss, but you flinched.

“What is it?” She asked. 

“I haven’t brushed my teeth today… my breath probably smells awful.” 

“I don’t care. Pumpkin, I’m dead. My breath smells bad all the time. My eyebrows disappear when I vamp out. I kill people.” 

“But still… I’m disgusting. My skin is breaking out again and I look like an oily rat.” 

“When was the last time you showered?” She asked. 

“I don’t even remember. Maybe Monday? I don’t know…” You felt so helpless. You felt so embarrassed in your girlfriend’s arms. 

“How about we take a warm shower? That sound good?” 

“Okay.” 

Dominique led you into the bathroom and helped you strip out of your dirty pajamas. “Have you eaten today?” She asked. 

“Yeah. I had some peanut butter and apple slices.” 

“Anything else?” 

“Coffee.”

Dominique frowned, tossing her shirt off and throwing it with your clothes, “Coffee isn’t a meal, kitten.” 

“Yeah, but I needed the caffeine.”

“After your shower, I’ll make you something to eat. Come on.” 

Dominique stuck her hand out to see if the water from the tub faucet was warm enough. When she decided it was, she pulled the diverter valve, letting the showerhead run. She held your hand, helping you into the shower. 

You stood directly under the showerhead, letting it beat down on your hair. Dom grabbed your shampoo bottle, squirting some product into her hands, before lathering it into your scalp. 

Her body pressed against yours. It was cold. Her hands in your hair were just as chilly. 

You had become used to the feeling, but you still shivered. She was a stark contrast against the hot water coming down.

You rinsed out your shampoo and applied conditioner to your ends. You thought about shaving, but Dominique said that could be done another time. 

You ran your fingers through your hair, washing the conditioner out of the ends when you noticed Dominique’s mullet no longer styled. 

“Oh, your hair!” You cooed. “It’s all soaked.”

“It’s fine.” She waved off. “I’ll fix it later.” 

You turned the water off and Dominique grabbed a towel for you. 

“Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” You both dried off and looked in your room for some clean clothes. 

“Here’s one of your sweatshirts…” You sheepishly handed over. “I think I have some of your sweatpants too…”

Dominique chuckled. She gave them to you to keep, you didn’t have to be so shy about it. “Thanks, Kitten. What do you want to eat?”

“I dunno…”

Dom restated her question. “What do you have?” 

“Uh, I think chicken strips…”

“Pumpkin…” She warned. 

“What?”

“You cannot eat chicken strips for every meal.”

“I didn’t! I made pasta this week, and I even had a vegetable!” 

“Good! Good, I’m proud. Sit at the counter and I’ll find something to make.” A small smile snuck its way onto your face as you got yourself an empty glass and filled it with water. You sat down, watching Dom look through your fridge and cupboard. 

“Want me to make salmon? Or was your mom saving that?”

“Oh, um, if it’s in the freezer go ahead.” 

You watched Dominique take out a baking tray, and place a piece of foil over it. She poured olive oil over it and added some spices to season the bottom side of the salmon. She cut up a lemon into thin slices, placing some on the pan and saving the rest for the top of the fish. She placed the salmon onto the tray and added more seasoning. 

“I’m going to steam some veggies too. Can you get them out for me, Pumpkin?” 

“Yeah,” You got up from your seat and opened the fridge. “We just have carrots and broccoli… um, there’s also some rice leftover from… I think Thursday…?” 

“Get it out. I can reheat it.” 

You placed it all on the counter for Dom to have access to. You sat back down and continued watching her cook as you absentmindedly sipped on your water. 

As Dom steamed the carrots and broccoli, heated the rice, and cleaned up, she just had to wait for the fish to finish cooking in the oven. 

She turned her attention to you. 

she cupped your face with one hand gently, “You look tired.” 

“So do you,” You teased. 

Dominique squinted her eyes. “Are you trying to cause trouble?” 

“No…” You had to hold back a giggle. She rolled her eyes and kissed your forehead. 

“Lemme get you some more water.” She took your cup and refilled it. 

“Thanks.” 

“Mhmm,” Dominique glanced at the oven timer. There was a little less than two minutes left for the salmon. 

“I’m going to see if it’s done. It probably is.” She opened the oven door and—

“Use an oven mitt!” You reminded her. 

Dom almost scoffed, “Kitten, my skin will heal in a week—“ 

“It will smell like burnt flesh for weeks if you don’t use an oven mitt. And I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” 

Dominique found it sweet how much you cared about her, even if it was in a minuscule moment like this. She grabbed the nearest oven mitt— yellow, with a sunflower design all over. It clashed with her aesthetic for sure, but safety before fashion. 

Dom pulled the salmon out and poked it with a fork.

“yeah, I think it’s done. I’ll take it out and let it cool. Get yourself a plate.” 

You did as you were told, and you filled your plate up with vegetables and rice and your piece of salmon. 

“Are you going to eat anything?” You asked Dominique. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

“You sure?” 

“If I want some food, I’ll take it from you later, and besides, I only need blood to survive.” She reminded you. 

“Have you drank lately? Do you need to? You can have some of my blood while we watch a movie, I don’t mind,” You told her as you took your plate and headed to your bedroom. 

“I’m fine, pumpkin.” She shut the door behind you, put a random movie in the tv’s tape player, and made herself comfortable on your bed. 

“Besides, I don’t want to drink from you right now, it will affect your mood… and I want you to get better… Okay?”

“Oh. Okay.” 

Dominique stroked your cheek, “Don’t feel bad, (Y/N). I can get blood from anyone… but I can only get one of you, and I want you to be happy. You’re my girlfriend, I care about you a lot.” 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or not. 

Dom wasn’t always the best with words, and she had a bit of trouble saying “I love you”, which you didn’t mind. She showed she loved you in other ways than just words. Like coming over with movies and blankets because you said you weren’t feeling good, or washing your hair for you, or cooking you dinner. 

“Thank you. I love you.” 

“Mhmm,” She wrapped an arm around you and kissed your forehead. 

[d1nob0nes]

i’ve spent like 5 minutes doing homework and need a break so uh. c!foolish and c!jack manifold friendship idea that was brought up in twitter groupchat that i also want to share and develop on here. it’s long so uh. under the cut ig. might turn this into an entire fic at some point

starting with the deep sea afterlife idea from @the-king-of-lemons , jack comes back and he’s got all these “friends” that he made in the ocean, all these funny looking and colorful and beautiful fish and squid and creatures. he misses them. he wants to go back to that peacefulness, the momentary calm from the constant war and conflict, the gentle lull between the pain of dying and the pain of being revived. so he figures some shit out. does some math. 

one day foolish is out late. it’s getting dark, he doesn’t want to go through the nether to get back home, so he strolls down to the hotel to stay in the room jack has rented to him. jack greets him and walks him into the lobby, and foolish notices a new door off in a corner. it’s metal, almost like a vault door, with a keycode and spinning wheel. he points it out. “hey, jack, what is that?”

“oh, that’s a project i’ve been working on,” jack replies with a grin. “you wanna see it?”

“sure,” foolish says, shrugging, because it shouldn’t take long. but when jack leads him over to the door, unlocks it with his body hunched over the keypad, it swings open to reveal a long, dark, sloping hallway that descends into darkness. there’s a minecart off to the side, perched on rickety-looking rails, and jack gestures to it. “after you.”

the trip downward is terrifying. there’s no lighting, the rails are shoddily-made and crooked, and foolish swears that a few arrows are shot their way when they fly past cave entrances. the worst part is coming to a stop--jack sticks out his arm, a flash of silver in the darkness, and grabs onto the stone walls, making a horrible screeching noise that echoes through the passage as the minecart slows. they slam to a stop in a small room, lit by a singular torch, and jack’s already out and walking around before foolish realizes the minecart is still.

“here, put one of these on,” jack says, and a heavy bundle of metal and plastic hits foolish’s chest. “you’ll need it. otherwise, your head will explode.” he grins cheerfully at foolish and starts dressing himself.

the diving suits (at least that’s what foolish thinks they are--they’re held together by willpower and hope, as well as a bit of tape and some sort of glue) are heavy, clunky, and huge. jack stumps over to a little doorway, one that opens into a rickety elevator, and says, “you’ll have to turn sideways to get in,” before shuffling inside. the elevator car dips when foolish steps in, and he has to bite back a curse.

the second descent of the night is equally as terrifying as the first. the elevator car struggles downward, dropping several feet at points and halting at others. jack just stands casually, tapping his feet, humming some song. when the elevator finally stops, hundreds and hundreds of feet down, it’s with a grinding, screeching thud.

“we’re here!” jack declares, his voice muffled by the helmet. “hold on, lemme open the door--”

he yanks and pulls at the metal door, heaving until it jerks open. foolish steps out onto a rough, uneven stone floor, turns to his left, and stops.

there’s a massive, massive glass wall, stretching up into shadows. behind it is dark, barely lit water, strands of strange looking plants, and fish. tons of fish, of all shapes and sizes and colors, darting around each other and dancing behind the glass. some glow, some flash strange colors, and foolish swears he sees the tail of a shark whip by before disappearing into darkness.

“cool, innit?” jack declares. there’s a weak strain of pride in his voice, a subtle shake, but he stands straight and tall with his hands on his hips. “took me a while. i didn’t sleep much, but i got it done.”

“what--” foolish starts, but then jack is running up to the glass (running as best as he can in the massive pressure suits, at least) and pointing. “look, look,” he calls. “this is my buddy, this is long lad. i couldn’t think of a name for him, being the stringy fuck that he is, but look. he’s a bigfin squid.”

foolish can’t see much, other than several long, ghostly pale tentacles drifting through the water. jack is beaming inside his helmet, and he darts across the tank to point at another creature. “this, this is bella. she’s a giant isopod. i read up on these things, y’know, when i came back, to figure out what all my buddies were.” jack watches the pale, bug-like thing tumble off a rock and land gently on the muddy floor. “isn’t she pretty?”

“jack,” foolish finally spits out, “how--what--why did you make this? where the hell did you get all these animals?”

jack’s smile fades a bit. “well, i died, right?” he glances at foolish, almost shamefully, then turns back to the glass. “and wilbur, wil had his train station purgatory. tommy was in a void of some sort. me, well--i actually died. i didn’t have a ghost hanging around, or some sadistic fuck with a book ready to pull me back. i actually died then.

“everyone has a different afterlife, apparently,” jack continues. “my headset says some weird shit, and that’s something i’ve heard from it, and i believe it. my afterlife,” he says, turning to look foolish in the eyes, “was the deep sea. i was laying in the silt, in the dark, for a while.”

“oh,” foolish says. 

“i missed them, a lot,” jack adds on. his voice is rough, cracking, angry. “i had nobody to welcome me back to the living. nobody noticed, or cared, that i had died, and they were my companionship. they kept me company, and it was nice, and it was peaceful.” he gestures weakly to the glass wall, to the swarms of fish and shadows that shift through the water. “i wanted to replicate it, i guess. hence the big jack manifold aquarium.” he laughs, and it’s so full of hurt and pain that foolish grimaces.

there’s a moment of silence between them, as they stand in the weak blue light watching the sea creatures swim. something with a long neck, bioluminescent and flashing, moves slowly between the seagrass. a sperm whale covered in barnacles drifts out of the shadows, then retreats.

“i think it’s pretty awesome,” foolish finally says. “this is really cool.”

“you think?” jack laughs, and the tension and sadness lifts slightly. “hey, look at this one. i call him big bastard, because he tried to take a bite out of me a few times.”

there’s a massive shark swimming by, slow and steady, and foolish squints at it. jack’s going on about it, talking about how it dive bombed him in the afterlife, how it’s such a bastard motherfucker and jack hates it but in an endearing way, and then something sparks.

“jack,” foolish says, “that’s my great grandma. that shark.”

“what?”

---

yo if you made it this far thank you for reading :3 the deep sea creatures coexisting in a tank, as well as the descent and pressure stuff, are very scientifically inaccurate so apologies !! uh yeah lol haha whip nae nae i hope you liked it. anyway back to my homework and twitter i go bye

[tchallasbabymama]

The Temple- Chapter 1/?

N’Jadaka x OC

A/N: I thought this was going to be a two parter, but now it’s looking like maaaaybe 3? I’m just now getting back into my writing and forgot how longwinded I can be lol. Enjoy! 

CW: short mention of suicidal ideation

Previous chapter: Prologue

3256 Words

N’Jadaka’s eyes blinked open and he was met with yet another day in Wakanda. This one was a little different than all his other mornings there because it was the first time he got to wake up in his own bed in his own quarters (outside of that one day he was king.) N’Jadaka had spent the last three months in a psychiatric treatment facility working on his anger and mental health issues. When he woke up after the civil war he caused he was livid. He had wanted to die on that mountain and unfortunately the feeling didn’t leave him until about a month into his treatment. He felt he had nothing to live for since his entire life’s work had gone up in flames before his eyes. He accomplished his one goal in life only to have it snatched back from him a day later. Everything important to him in his life had been taken from him and he felt he had nothing else to live for, so his cousin, King T’Challa, arranged for N’Jadaka to spend some time at Ithemba Center for Mental Wellness. 

He would never admit it out loud, but N’Jadaka was scared to go to Ithemba. He thought his stint as king would have turned Wakandans against him, but it did the opposite. The royal family had decided that transparency was the best policy and did a press conference explaining the entire situation to the people. T’Challa explained what had happened between his father and uncle, what the prince’s life had been like up to that point, and the fact that while he did usurp the throne he did it the right way according to Wakandan law so he wouldn't be charged with treason. The people of Wakanda were shocked, but welcomed their new prince with open arms. He wasn’t aware of the new developments because he was still resting in a healing pod in Shuri’s lab at the time, but when he went to Ithemba he was surprised to find out that everybody already knew him and was more than willing to help him. N’Jadaka hadn’t received that much care and attention since he was a child and he didn't really know how to handle it. It took him weeks to learn how to open himself to others, and it wasn’t until his last month of treatment that he even began opening himself up to the other patients in group therapy.

N’Jadaka’s main therapist was a woman named Ife. She reminded him so much of his mother that he had almost no choice but to open himself to her, crying in her lap during their first couple sessions. Ife had been incredibly patient with the emotional yet emotionally repressed prince, allowing him to work through his overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, and hurt. 

His time with Ife and the other patients at the center had been incredibly healing and he felt like a new man. He still felt like he had a ways to go, and he could tell he needed something, but couldn’t figure out what. His healing didn’t feel anywhere close to being done.

A knock at the door interrupted his morning laziness.

“Ngena.”

In walked the king of Wakanda flanked by two of his Dora Milaje, who he politely dismissed to stand outside the door. He walked across the room and sat in the plush velvet wingback chair by the full bookshelves.

“Sup man?” N’Jadaka barely opened his eyes to speak to his cousin. The bed was too comfortable.

“My apologies cousin, did I wake you?”

“Nah I’m up, this bed just won’t let me go.”

T’Challa chuckled at his cousin’s laziness. He completely understood, the beds were the most comfortable beds he’d experienced in all of his travels and time abroad in school. 

“I just wanted to formally invite you to attend breakfast at 9. It’s casual, just family and whatever few friends are staying in the palace with us at the time. M’Baku will be joining us today.”

“The gorilla nigga?”

T’Challa tried and failed to stifle his laughter, which quickly spread to his slightly younger cousin.

“Yes the gorilla nigga.”

“Ooooh I’m telling M’Baku you said that. Better yet, I’m telling Auntie.”

“I’d really rather you not.”

N’Jadaka chuckled and wondered if this is how it always would’ve been if they had grown up together. The thought was more bitter than sweet, so he pushed it aside for the time being. 

“Maybe just this once.”

T’Challa grinned at his cousin and he also wondered how life would’ve been had they known each other their whole lives.

“Thank you. Oh and get up, it’s already 8:30” T’Challa stood and walked towards the door.

“These damn beds…” N’Jadaka shook his head and reluctantly flung the sheet back and swung his legs over the side of his bed, completely forgetting he slept naked. He rushed to cover himself in the king’s presence.

“Shit, my bad, man.” 

“For…?”

“Nigga I got my dick swinging!”

“You’re sorry for being naked? Wh- oh that’s right. We aren’t puritanical like you are used to in America. Nudity isn't scandalous here, it’s just a body. But I will leave and let you get ready. See you, umzala.”

N’Jadaka stood there shocked. He knew of Wakandan culture, but experiencing it was going to be an adjustment. Just how different were they? They were never affected by colonization so the oppressive white supremacist ideology wouldn’t exist there. He had a lot of unlearning to do and a lot of questions to ask his family.

He eventually shook himself out of his thoughts and made his way to the en suite bathroom. He turned on the shower using the touchpad and the water fell from the ceiling like rain. He scrubbed down in the vanilla chai body wash he had requested and afterwards he covered his skin in shea butter. He walked into his enormous closet and stood there overwhelmed at the choices. His inner child wanted to throw a fit for everything he’d missed out on, but N’Jadaka took a deep breath to center himself before walking over to the section of clothes that he recognized. He was so nervous about breakfast he almost dressed to impress, but then he remembered T’Challa’s words and casual outfit. He grabbed his Lost Tribe hoodie and threw on his favorite black jeans and his Timbs. He swooped all his locs to one side of his head and threw on his gold glasses. N’Jadaka took a deep breath and walked towards the door.

“Chill out...it’ll be fine.”

The guards stationed outside his door directed him to the dining room where he was met with the smiling faces of his family members. Ramonda was the first to notice he’d entered the room..

“Mholo, umtshana!”

She met him for a hug and kissed his cheek. He smiled so hard his dimples looked deeper than ever and he hugged her back.

“Mornin, Auntie. T, Lil Bit, Charlie’s Angel, Big Man.” N’Jadaka greeted his cousins, Nakia, and M’Baku.

Yet again, T’Challa failed to stifle a laugh, which he tried to play off with a cough. Nakia lightly backhanded his chest and sucked her teeth at him. 

“Little bit? Don't start with me, bubble wrap!”

“Who is Charlie and why am I their angel?”

“That is not my name.”

Shuri, Nakia, and M’Baku spoke over each other.

Thankfully the queen mother was there to settle the children down right as the food was being brought out. N’Jadaka looked at the table and was surprised to see that Ramonda was seated next to T’Challa and that the only empty seat was at the end of the table. 

The king noticed N’Jadaka’s nervousness as he watched him sit down gingerly and take in his surroundings. 

“So N’Jadaka, how was your first night in the palace? Our beds are the most comfortable in the world.”

“Auntie, I almost didn’t come to breakfast. That bed had a hold on me.”

“You must come visit my people sometimes. If you think you sleep good here, wait until you have the crisp mountain air-”

“Nah lemme stop you right there. Crisp is code for cold, and I don't do that shit. Sorry Auntie.”

“I don't do that shit either. When I was staying there I shivered the whole time, even with the beautiful furs and blankets! I’m just not built for the cold.”

N’Jadaka grimaced at the mention of his time as a burgeoning world dictator. He was thankful nobody noticed.

He was also thankful for the large platters of food the kitchen staff came and sat in front of them. They passed the food around the table and soon enough there was silence as everyone dug into what N’Jadaka would later describe as the best meal he ever had.

After breakfast, the three men retired to T’Challa’s office while the princess hurried off to her lab, Nakia disappeared, and Ramonda tended to her garden. 

“So, N’Jadaka...I wanted to talk to you about a few things-”

“Then why is Mighty Joe Young here?”

M’Baku rolled his eyes.

“Again, that is not my name. Who even is this person?”

“It’s a big ass gorilla.”

“Oh- well in that case…”

T’Challa cleared his throat.

“As I was saying. Before anything, we need to address your crowning ceremony. Obviously you are part of the royal family, but by Wakandan law, all royalty must be officially crowned to be able to hold a title. If you would like to be Prince N’Jadaka son of Prince N’Jobu we must have the ceremony.”

N’Jadaka’s voice caught in his throat and his eyes got misty.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

M’Baku put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you, brother.”

“Good to be here.”

T’Challa fought tears of his own.

“Ok so uh, that’s that. We can hash those details out later. Now, the second thing I wanted to bring up with you is this: M’Baku and Nakia have offered to show you around the merchant tribe here in the city, the river tribe, and Jabariland. Shuri will get you acquainted with the mining tribe, and I will take you out to the border tribe on Wednesday.”

“Aight, sounds like a plan, but I don’t want the surface-level touristy shit.”

T’Challa chuckled.

“Noted. Now, lastly,” T’Challa pulled up a projection of a futuristic yet somehow still modern building next to a basketball court. 

N’Jadaka’s stomach dropped.

“What is this?”

“I want to open our borders to the ‘Lost Tribe’ as you call it. Maybe to the rest of the world eventually, but at the time they are less of a concern. In addition to that, I-”

The king was cut off by Nakia entering the room.

“Perfect time, love.”

“Sorry for being late, this baby runs my life now.”

“I’m getting a baby cousin?!”

Nakia looked at him dryly.

“Yes, N’Jadaka, you are getting a baby cousin.”

He peeped her attitude and settled down. If there was one thing he knew in this world, it was never piss of a pregnant woman.

“So the Outreach Centers, yes. I had actually had the idea for a while, but it took the country almost burning down for this idiot to see I was right. T’Challa had the idea to use your old apartment complex as the first Wakandan Outreach Center. Hopefully if it goes well, we could expand to-”

N’Jadaka zoned out staring at the projection. His vision may not have come true in the way he thought it would, but this would certainly be a step towards the betterment of the lives of Black people everywhere. N’Jadaka couldn't help but grin. 

“I think we lost him…”

“Cousin!”

He snapped out of his daze.

“Yeah I-I like it. Thank you, this really means a lot. One thing though?”

“Yes?”

“I want it dedicated to my pops.”

T’Challa smiled and zoomed in on the name above the door. It read “Prince N’Jobu’s Wakandan Outreach Center”. Then he took them on a 3-D tour of the facility, ending with the memorial to N’Jobu in room 1401.

N’Jadaka nearly broke down in tears.

“Cool. Thanks, man. For everything. This is…” N’Jadaka took a deep breath. “Just, thanks…”

The other three Wakandans smiled back at him fondly, an occurrence it seemed he would have to get used to. 

“I’m glad you like it. Now if you three will excuse me, I have work to do.”

Nakia kissed T’Challa’s forehead and left the room.

 “Aight, I need something lighthearted. A nigga is tired of crying. Oh! Actually I got some questions…”

“Ask away.”

“So earlier you mentioned how free and open and shit yall are here...I’m single and haven’t had any in like 6 months so where can I go to find some pussy. Since I’m a prince do I just like, I don't know, have concubines brought to me? I don't know how this works”

M’Baku snorted.

“Clearly.”

N’Jadaka flipped him off while T’Challa answered.

“No, we do not have ‘concubines’ though we do sort of have sex workers, which we can discuss later. You know, it would do you good to read some Wakandan history books...and maybe even some of our sex education material.”

“Ay man, I already know all that.”

“Not the way we teach it. Plus our birth control is better here.”

“More effective?”

“And no side effects. Trust me, you’ll want to visit the library at the end of the hall, cousin.”

N’Jadaka considered his suggestion and made a mental note to check out the library later that day.

“Yes, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two,” M’Baku chimed in.

“My guy, I know how sex works! I’m just curious about the culture surrounding sex. T, you said y'all aren’t puritanical like America...expand on that.”

“Well the list of books I just sent to your beads would be able to cover this in greater detail than I can at the moment, but basically every preconceived notion you have about sex, gender, attraction, etc. has been tainted by colonialism as a means of control over the population.”

“Hanuman…”

“Yeah I know that, I guess I just can’t really conceptualize a world without all that sexism and homophobia and shit.”

“What is homophobia?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused. The cousins answered at the same time.

“When people hate gay niggas.”

“The hatred of, or at least the disdain for, those who are attracted to their same gender.”

“And we ain't even getting into the people who aren't men or women, that shit blows people's minds.”

“Why?”

The cousins continued to explain the outside world to M’Baku for what felt like hours. T’Challa looked at the clock and stood.

“Well gentlemen, as...depressing as this conversation has been, we must get to the council meeting.”

“I need a drink after that. The strongest Jabari mead!”

“Yeah imagine living with that shit for 30 years then coming here. I’m not gonna know how to act.”

“You’ll learn.”

The three made their way to the council meeting and N’Jadaka had never been so bored in all of his life. He started nodding off at one point and M’Baku elbowed him in his side when he started to snore. When it was finally over they parted ways and N’Jadaka headed to the library. He had plenty of reading to do.

He started with the Wakandan history books reading about the lives of his ancestors. His fathers stories had given him a good foundation to build on, but what he found in the books blew his mind. 

Wakandans can trace their history for thousands of years, all the way back to the time of the great Bashenga, the first Black Panther. Growing up as a Black American, N’Jadaka had no connection to his mother’s family history because there was no record. When the Lost Tribe was enslaved and brought to the west, they were recorded as cargo, not people. The enslavers didn’t care about their names or where they came from, and when they got to shore their families continued to be ripped apart and sold to the highest bidder. They weren’t allowed to play drums and congregate, they weren’t allowed to read, they weren’t allowed to marry. There was no written record of his people, and the most they could go on was family bibles which almost never went back before the mid 1800s. 

N’Jadaka was overwhelmed with the information, so he decided to switch to something else and come back to the history books later. He picked up “Intimacy and Sex” by Ami Nbunda and flipped through the pages. He skimmed the table of contents and was surprised by what he saw.

The first chapter was on anatomy, but it actually included intersex people instead of just focusing on male and female bodies. The next chapter was about loving and respecting yourself and others, but not in the slut-shaming way of the outside world. The next few chapters were on the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, and the last few were on birth control, sexual health, attraction, healthy communication, and more resources. 

The prince couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he flipped through the pages. He stopped on a full-color photo of a vulva with all the parts labeled.

“This is for kids? Damn, we really living in two different worlds. America would never.”

He turned the page and saw a to-scale model of the entire clitoris, and his eyes bugged out of his head. 

“That shit’s a whole wishbone…”

He continued to read through the pages in awe. M’Baku was right, he was learning a thing or two.

N’Jadaka spent the whole day in the library reading book after book on everything he could get his hands on. If it hadn’t been for his guards alerting him to the time, he would’ve missed dinner. He grabbed the last two books and went to drop them in his quarters before heading to dinner.

“Umzala, have you been in the library this whole time?”

“Yeah man, it’s a lot to take in. I might have to take that sex ed book back to the states.”

“We plan on doing just that at the Outreach Centers. Comprehensive sex education is a necessity, and since your government prefers to keep people in the dark about how their own bodies work it will be our job to educate those who come through our doors. All but the last chapter, of course.” 

T’Challa winked and N’Jadaka felt like he had missed something.

“You mean the resources? Makes sense, those books wouldn't be available outs-”

“Not the books, dear, the Temple.” Ramonda chimed in.

“The what? I ain't got that far yet.”

Shuri rounded the corner and N’Jadaka expected the conversation to stop, but no.

“Remember earlier when you asked about concubines and I said we have sex workers?”

Ramonda cut her eyes at N’Jadaka as he nodded.

“Well that term doesn’t quite encompass what they do. They are sexual healers blessed by Bast herself and they reside in the Temple of Healing on the outskirts of the city near the Land of the Dead. They are known as the Daughters of Bast.”

“Now I feel bad for calling them concubines.”

“You should.” Ramonda said as she slapped him upside the head.

“Ow Auntie, damn”

T’Challa was thankful that his mother had someone else to fuss over, and he chuckled.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to pay them a visit. They are healers, after all.”

Next Chapter

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

HOLD ME

Alexander “Tig” Trager x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: about suicide and drugs. Angst.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Your phone rings in the middle of the night, palming the nightstand sleepy to hook off the call.

“He—Hey, my sunshine…”

Pulling it somewhat away, you check the hour.

“Good god, Alexander… It's four”.

“Yeah, I'm so—sorry. I just wanna hear yo—your voice”.

“Are you drunk?” Rolling over the bed you used to share with him, you rub your eyes with two fingers leaving a heavy snort on air.

“More or less”. Chuckles by the other side of the speaker.

“I'm gonna han—”

“No! Listen, lis—listen… Listen, how was your day?”

“Alexander, I'm tired. And I was sleeping”.

“I kno—I know. I'm sorry, baby”.

Everytime he calls you by that pet-name gives you chills. You still in love with him, after almost seven years with that man and all its ups and downs. It's been six months since he fucked up what you had together and it's the first time he calls you, even if you have seen him before at Teller-Morrow, sometimes, when Jax had needed you.

“I'm sorry f—for everything I've done to you”.

Your heart is racing so fast that you're starting to think it's going to jump off of your chest.

“I hurt you and you didn' des—deserve it. You're the love of my life. I'll alw—always love you and I want yo—you to remember it, okay?”

That sounds bad. That sounds pretty bad. Sitting up on the bed and turning the light on to take away the sheets, you place your feet on the floor walking close to the chair where your clothes are.

“Hey, Tiggy, listen. You've revealed me, uh?” You're trying to keep calm, because you have never heard him talk like that. “Where are you? I've actually had a ba—”.

“Shh… It's ok—okay, baby. Don't worry”. Hearing some coughs while you're wearing a pair of jeans, supporting the phone between your ear and your shoulder, you try to find the keys of your car. “I just ho—hope that you can find som—someone who loves you as I do… But never hurt y—you as I did”.

“Tiggy, come home”.

“Go back to sl—sleep, everything is go—gonna be okay”.

Before you can say anything else, he hangs up the call. You try to call him again but the phone is off. Running to your car, you type Jax's number by heart impatiently, turning on the engine.

“What's up, (Y/N)?”

“Is Tig there?”

“No”. He just say.

“Did you fight?”

Silence. Nothing. No words.

“He called me. Drunk. Telling me… things that sounded really bad, Jax. We need to find him”.

You can hear a snort.

“I beg you, Jax. Help me to find Tig”.

“Check the cabin, Chibs and me are on our way to his house. Call me back”.

Throwing the phone above the copilot seat, your press the gas as hard as you can. You're praying all you know to reach on time, before he can do something stupid. And the road looks like it's longer than never, even if you're driving over the speed limit. Lucky there's no police to stop you. A bunch of possible ideas dance in your head, which worse than the last, knowing well that Jackson should told him something about all the bad things he did. Starting by your relationship. And you were conscious that he wasn't well after leaving him. Tig just collapsed after understanding what he had done.

Car headlights illuminate the wooden facade and the black motorbike parked next to the porch. Stepping out of the car faster as you can, your legs burn running towards the door. You hit it with your palms, screaming out his name, for some long minutes. But there's no answer. The windows are covered by the curtains, disabling the view inside. Going downstairs out of the porch, you run again to the backyard, checking the other windows in case they're unlocked. Nothing. Wrapping your fist in the hoodie you're wearing, you hit the glass of the back door, hard enough to break it and slide your hand inside to open it.

“Alexander! Alexander! Tig!” You shout desperate turning all the lights on.

He's not there, but you find empty bottles of whisky lying on the carpet and some white dust scattered on the table, close to a small picture of both. Together. He's breaking your heart more painfully than six months ago.

“ALEXANDER!” You scream again running all over the cabin, going upstairs and stumbling an instant along the way.

All the doors are opened, peeking into each room till you finally find him. Your heart stops. Swallowing saliva you take a step with a hand raised to him. Tig is lying on the bed with the gun barrel pointed at his left temple.

“Tiggy… pull it down”. You whisper, trying to calm him in some way.

“No… No… Leave, baby…” He sobs loudly, shaking his head as the tears are running down his cheeks. “Leave, please…”

“I'm not leaving. Pull the gun down”. You take another step closer to him. Just two more and you can reach his feet.

“I do—don't want you to se—see me like that”. The man cries out somewhat loud. “Leave!”

“I'm not leaving, Alexander! Put the damn gun down!” You shout at him losing your mind. “Do you think this is the best way to fix it?!”

“I don' wan—wanna hurt you anymore”. Shaking his head again, he puts his gaze away from you.

“You're doin'et now”. You assure trying to breathe calm, leaning above the bed in slow motion by your knees, sitting on your heels. “I can't… live without you”.

Slow, so slow, you raise a hand straight to him.

“Give me the gun, my tiger”. You beg looking for those blue eyes you can die for.

He hesitates, finding yours in the middle of the dark, nodding somewhat gently. Looks like an eternity, an agonic one, watching him moving his hand close to yours till the cold steel touches your palm. You hold the heavy gun, locking it and throwing it to somewhere over the floor. His crying becomes louder and more bitter, as you crawl the mattress next to the Son'. By a side, you hold his neck wrapping it with your arms and forcing his head to rest on your chest. The mental breakdown that it's hitting his whole tensed body opress your breath, feeling him trembling under your grip.

“I'm so sorry, baby… I'm so sorry”. Tig bewails licking his chapped lips holding on the arm it's surrounding his throat.

You know he needs to treat himself about his alcohol addiction. That's the shit that always gets him in trouble. The same shit that fucked up what you built together through the years. Kissing dearly his head, you pull him closer, with the same pain that it's squeezing his heart like yours.

“Lemme take you to the shower”. Using a soft tone of voice, you get up from the bed with extreme care tangling your fingers with the longest.

He nods again, trying to put on his feet and supporting half of his weight on you. Placing an arm on your shoulders, you walk step by step, slow, to the bathroom some meters away from the main room. Turning on the light and sitting him down on the toilet, you begin to undress him starting by the sweaty shirt smelling like whisky. Continuing by his boots as Tig rests his back on the marble wall, you pull them by a side to unzip his jeans. So, when he's already naked, you help him to sit inside the bathtub using the cold water to wet his body. The man curls his knees against the chest, surrounding it with both arms and resting his head on it. He's not crying anymore, being somewhat shocked in complete silence.

When you think it's enough, you turn off the tap leaving some soft caresses on his back and kissing his kiss again. Getting up of your knees to grab a big towel hanging on the door, putting it in your shoulder so you can help your, yet, husband to lift his heavy body up. Wrapping him into the fabric, he gets out of the bathtub sitting back on the toilet.

“Stay here, okay?” You ask him caressing his cheek, as he nods with the head down. “I'll be back in a minute”.

Walking downstairs you call Jax, enough seconds to tell him you found Tig. Not how. Not where. Not how long ago. Only that you found him. Hanging up the call, you come back to the bathroom. The man still in the same position you left him. Making him kneel in front of the toilet, you open it.

“Open your mouth”. You just say, tucking two fingers in it until you press his throat.

Sometimes you ask yourself who else could do something like that. You love him too much to let him die. It's not his time. And of course, it's not the way. After several retching, he vomits.

“Throw it all, Tiggy”. You mutter pressing a hand on his abdomen and the other, after cleaning it on your own shirt, supporting his forehead.

He coughs some times, and smells pretty bad, but you should do it. Not as if it were an obligation, but a promise you made to him, even if he didn't fulfill his. Leaving him some seconds, you put the plug locking the sink to let the cold water run and fall on it like a cascade.

“Come're”. You whisper this time, getting him up and closing the tap.

He sinks his face inside it, breathing the water enough to clean his nostrils and his throat, until he drowns a little. Drying him with another towel, looking at you sad and distraught. Turning him by his shoulders and guiding his steps back to the room, as if he was a statue, Tig having a sit on the edge of the bed lets you dress him with a clean pair of boxers.

“Lie down”. You ask him putting a hand on his chest, to make him do it. And when you're about to come back to the bathroom, he holds your wrist.

“Don' leave, please”. He begs you with a broken tone and a painful gesture because the effort.

“No more drugs, nor alcohol”. You sigh, closing your eyes for a second feeling his fingers touring your skin till he tangled them with yours.

“I'll do wha—whatever you ask me to”. Cleaning his throat as he coughs again, pushes you closer. “I don' wan—wanna lose you again”.

You sit on the bed, turning above him to rest your free palm on the other side. Leaning forward over his chest, you leave a soft kiss on the man's forehead, pulling back some black wetted curls.

“You are the on—only thing I have loved in li—life. Nobody else. Noth—Nothing else. Only you”.

“I know”. You just say, pulling yourself away to lose yourself on his ocean eyes.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

Sitting at the table and having a spoon full of Fruity Loops, you have the box in the other hand reading the clues for the crossword. It's a sunny day of a June morning and you're enjoying your free weekend in complete silence. Till the main door gets opened, followed by heavy steps crossing it. Tig appears in the kitchen with a hug smile draw on the corner of his lips. But there are no words, turning around the table and placing himself by your back. With a hand supported on the wood, the man puts somewhat like pocker red chip between the bowl and you. Looking at him a little confused and a raised eyebrow, you pull down your gaze again, taking it with two fingers.

“One year”. He just say with somekind of happiness in his voice.

He infects you that big smile on his face, sitting by your side and resting an arm on the top of your chair.

“'Am clean”. He adds then, poking the chip softly.

You can't believe a whole year passed by after that tragic night, when he almost ended up with his life. Jax told you to leave him at the clubhouse, but you knew it was the worst idea ever. So you brought him to the house you shared for seven years, hoping that it would help him to heal and redeem himself for all the wrong he did. He stayed at the closest room towards yours, being by his side. You fight with him the need he had of getting high, of getting drunk; forcing him to empty the bottles and throw the drugs inside the toilet before moving with you, to your house. And you also forced him to assist to every party SOA had. No whisky, no beer, no cocaine, no weed and no sex. Nothing for a year.

“I wanna make the right thing with you”. Tig says freeing your hands to hold them with his. “Give me a chance. A last one. No compromise. Just… think 'bout it and tell me whenever you want”.

Leaving a sigh and pulling away your eyes on nowhere, you end up nodding.

“Okay, but…”

“I'll not”. He interrupts you before you can finish the warning.

[lilbabycee]

chanel & cartier // steve rogers 💎

↳ request: Ok I know I'm greedy keep coming back to you! But can I request a hc/drabble with daddy Steve getting bratty reader diamonds or chanel or something to make it up to her 👀 @donutloverxo​

↳ relationship: steve rogers x reader

↳ word count: 1.6k

↳ author’s note: i am emotional and i liked writing this maybe a little too much ;) enjoy! x

your body is shrouded in darkness as you lay underneath the covers of you and steve’s shared bed, the remnants of your tears leaving wet stains on your soft cheeks

you know that you’re probably overreacting and but that’s okay because he promised (pinky swore!) that he’d never raise his voice at you without reason, yet here you are

the door is closed though not locked because as much as you want to keep him out, your subconscious is waiting for him to walk in and curl you into his strong body and tell you that everything’s okay and he’s sorry

but it’s been four hours and twenty-six minutes

(not that you’re counting)

and he still hasn’t come in to remind you that you’re his baby and he’ll do anything for you, which is why he’s so sorry that he broke his promise

this is not going in the way that you expected it to and you can’t help but be a little angry 

you know it’s unwarranted and you have no right, but it upsets you regardless

it sounds stupid but you just wanted some attention, to bask in the sun rays of your golden man for the day

but work keeps him busier than you’d like, which means that leaves little time to spend with his girl (that’s you, his girl) and you make your discontent known

“honey, you know i have get this done by tonight,” he groaned as you came to stand behind him and circle your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to the stretch of exposed skin and nuzzling your face into the space between his neck and shoulder

“but daddy,” you whined, pouting because he couldn’t see it (you knew you’d get a dumb punishment for that, not even anything fun like a spanking), “i miss you.”

“baby, i’m right here,” he replied distractedly, typing away at something on his laptop.

“yeah, but you’re not paying attention to me,” you huffed, twisting your lips to the side. you rested your head completely on his shoulder so you could stare at the side of his face before you thought better of it

instead, you walked around to his front and climb up onto his chair to place yourself right on his lap which made an exasperated sigh escape his chest

“y/n,” he said warningly while narrowing his eyes at you. “i don’t have time to do this today and i’m serious. once i get this report to tony, i’m all yours, hmm?”

you frowned because you still didn’t like it so you shook your head, holding onto his shoulders and shifting on his lap

“why not now, daddy?” you blinked your eyes wide at him, hoping that this look alone would make him cave but he remained stoic. if anything, he only seemed to get more annoyed

“no,” he said firmly, hands landing on your waist with the intention of removing you but your own hands settled over his

“please, st-”

“i said no, y/n! god, not everything is about you all the time,” he exclaimed, running his hands through his hair while those hurtful words slapped you in the face and made you recoil, your head jerking back in surprise as your eyes started to glass over

in truth, you know you were being a brat but he’s usually able to handle it better than that. you know that he’s stressed and high-strung because he’s had a series of meetings this week with people he doesn’t care about and the end is nowhere in sight

but that doesn’t mean that his words upset you any less

ashamed and dismayed, you quickly scrambled off of him and made a beeline to your room

cut to the present: it’s been four hours and thirty-three minutes of you moping without any intervention from your boyfriend

you assume that he’s probably tired and not in the mood to deal with you, a concept that sets your heart on fire in a way that makes you rub at your chest

so you think that you’re imagining it when a quiet knock comes at the door

“come in,” you speak almost inaudibly, your voice raspy from all your crying, but if it’s who you know it is on the other side, he’ll be able to hear it no problem

the door slides open slowly and your steve - just like you thought - stands on the other side, sheepishly hiding his hands behind his back and staring at your tear-streaked face

“sweetheart,” he coos, walking towards you with an unmarked bag in his hand that you don’t think too much of before he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, right next to your cocooned body

“m’sorry, baby,” he strokes your cheek slowly, thumb wiping away the stray tears on your face before he presses a kiss to each cheek, your forehead, then the tip of your nose

you sniffle dramatically, avoiding eye contact with him although you know that he’s putting out that fire in your heart with the comforting coolness of his touch

“babydoll,,” he coaxes. “look at me, baby.”

you roll your eyes before locking them onto steve’s and you know that you’ve already forgiven him because he’s so pretty and he looks so apologetic

“there’s my girl,” he grins, dropping a chaste kiss on your lips. “my pretty girl. i love you, doll - i’m sorry i let my work get in the way. i didn’t mean to make you cry - i hate it when you cry. but i’m all done now, though, so we can still hang out if you want?”

the offer is tempting but you shake your head no, still choosing to pout and lay there pitifully, trying to milk his sympathy to its limits

steve laughs, fully aware of what you’re doing, and shakes his head, a fond smile gracing his full lips

a knowing spark in his eyes makes you narrow yours at him skeptically because you’re terrified that he’ll try to lie on top of you or something and suffocate you with his supersoldier body

“what if i said i bought you somethin’?” 

you cannot for the life of you resist the urge to shoot up from the bed, so you give in

you sit yourself up so that your back rests against the headboard, suddenly no longer sad, and eye him expectantly, waiting for him to get the apology present that you’re owed 

“ah, ah,” he tuts, smile stretching wider across his face. “if you want it, you gotta ask me nicely, sweetheart.”

there it is: the catch

but you don’t hesitate in putting your pride aside (not before sucking your teeth loudly) to tell your boyfriend to get his ass in gear and bring you your gift

“please, stevie, can i have my present now please?”

he doesn’t move, just looks at you flatly before arching an eyebrow

so you correct yourself, leaning into his body to touch his forearm and bring your face closer to his

“can i please have my present now, daddy?”

it’s stupid how much joy you get in seeing the way his face lights up but he reaches for the bag and hands it over to you, hands clasped together as he waits for you to open it

you pull out a thick matte black box that makes you squeal when you see the white letters printed on the front

“really?” you virtually bounce up and down. “all for me, stevie?”

he nods, gesturing for you to open it but you don’t do so until you grab his face between your hands, pressing a lingering kiss on his cheek

a light dusting of pink - the same color as the chanel bag you pull out of the box - covers his nose and the apples of his cheeks and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling too hard

the squeal of pure elation that comes out of your mouth is borderline deafening but steve would listen to that sound everyday for the rest of his life if it meant that he could keep you this happy forever

it’s not even as if this is the first chanel box he’s gone and purchased after you fight - in fact, he thinks it might be the ninth, but every time, watching your reaction when you open them is as exciting as the first

“i love it, daddy, thank you!” you exclaim, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight embrace. he chuckles, crushing you flush to his body before lifting you and settling you on his lap like you were a few hours ago

“you’re very welcome, sweetheart,” he cups your jaw and kisses your cheekbone. “but that’s not everything-”

he doesn’t even finish the sentence before you’ve pulled the smaller box out of the bag

it’s the color of fresh cherries and the word ‘cartier’ written on the front makes you scream right into steve’s ear

he doesn’t even flinch but he does have the passing thought that his heart might explode because you take up all the space in there and he doesn’t know much, but he does know that he wants to love you for as long as you’ll let him

“daddy- stevie, baby,” you gasp, hand flying to your bare neck. you’re staring at a diamond necklace with a little four leaf clover pendant on the end

you’re speechless and you can’t say that often

“lemme put it on you, pretty girl,” he offers, taking the delicate chain out of the case and swiftly fastening it around your neck

once it’s secure, your hand immediately comes to touch it, enthralled by this caring man in front of you

“you’re so gorgeous, honey - my good luck charm,” he gushes, thumb caressing the column of your neck

“does that mean i should make you mad at me more often?” you tease, not letting him answer because you grasp his face and press quick little kisses all over it that send him into a fit of giggles

“maybe you should,” he shoots back, breathless and on his back now, your body resting comfortably on top of his

“love you, daddy,” you quip, capturing his lips with your own for a brief kiss

“love you too, sweet baby.”

tagged: @literaturefeen​ @donutloverxo​

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Hello!! I like your hc so much! So i was wondering can i request the rfa+v, and saeran with an mc who is really insecure with her body so she starve herself on accident? If you’re not comfortable than you don’t have to!! Thank you tho :)

Hey there! Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoy them😊I hope it’s okay but I mainly left out the eating part/made it brief. I’m really sorry, it’s just a bit of a delicate topic for me to write about but I really hope it’s still okay for you.

Just a reminder that it’s okay to feel insecure, but remember that you are not defined by your insecurities. I also don’t believe that there is one definition of beautiful, nor do I believe that thinking you are beautiful is vain or arrogant. Please be kind to yourselves, and if you are going through a rough patch with your body image or self-love, then I sincerely hope this can be a comfort for you and, if you can, I encourage you to reach out to someone or talk to a professional. My DMs are always open, if you ever need a chat or to rant then I’m here to listen. You are welcome and loved here💛

***

RFA with an insecure MC

Zen:

❤︎ now, if you’ve done his route, then you know that this man understands

❤︎ and we also know that his looks are very important to him, so he completely acknowledges your feelings and in no way invalidates them

❤︎ but that being said, this man worships your body

❤︎ if you guys weren’t together he would be the best wing man because he LOVES to praise you and lift you up, even if you aren’t feeling particularly insecure

❤︎ you got a new outfit? “YES GIRL YOU WORK IT” you do your makeup different? “YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND ARTISTIC YES” you’re in your sweats and your hair’s a mess you feel totally gross? “THAT’S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE WOW YOU ARE GLORIOUS”

❤︎ he’s very vocal about his love for you and his love for your body

❤︎ sometimes it can be a bit embarrassing and usually comments on your appearance can make you feel uncomfortable/self-conscious, but for some reason when he does it it gives you a lil confidence boost <3

❤︎ we’re no stranger to the fact that he is hot as fuck

❤︎ honestly makes a little mad like who gave you the audacity to look like that hMMM?

❤︎ so when you first started going out, your confidence plummeted

❤︎ and it didn’t help that, whilst the majority of his fans loved you and loved the relationship, there were a few that really got to you

❤︎ they would post some not very nice comments about you on the forum

❤︎ they were just jealous fanatics, but you didn’t know that and took what they said to heart

❤︎ you started working out a lot after that, probably a bit too much

❤︎ Zen picked up on this, and he was all for exercising with you but bbygirl you’re over doing it and you really don’t seem to be enjoying it

❤︎ so he decides to teach you how to dance!!!!

❤︎ that way, you still get the endorphins from exercise, but you also learn a great skill which gives you loads of confidence because guess what!!! you’re a natural and you look gorgeous when you dance!!!!

❤︎ teaches you that working out doesn’t necessarily need to be done for aesthetic purposes, and you can have loads of fun with your boo whilst you do it!

Yoosung:

★ bit like Zen, he kinda understands how you feel

★ he often expressed it in the chatroom that he was jealous of Zen’s looks, so I think this boy is also a little insecure

★ poor lil chicken nugget you’re beautiful too

★ but when you chose him over Zen?? oh boy the confidence boost

★ it was then that he got to appreciate that his looks didn’t mean everything, and he was grateful that he got to learn that from you

★ so when he found out you were insecure, it made him sad because??? you’re literally perfect????

★ he noticed that you were always second guessing yourself

★ you would always try on and so many outfits/do your hair over and over until giving up and throwing on whatever, but you always looked so defeated

★ he made a note from then on to always show you off to his friends like yeah bitch this is my hot ass girlfriend who also happens to be the most amazing person on earth what about it?

★ his social media is flooded with candid photos of you and the captions were always about how beautiful you were and how lucky he was to have you

★ however, he was still a little suspicious about your insecurities

★ when you were together and he asked if you want to grab something to eat, you had always “already eaten”, which started to seem unlikely especially in some situations

★ so whenever you came over, he would cook you SUPER delicious food

★ this boy is a cooking GOD

★ he also tried to make sure they were fairly healthy and balanced meals so you wouldn’t feel guilty about eating

★ little by little, your relationship with food became healthier once you discovered how good it could be when you cook properly

★ but also insecurities and bad eating habits don’t go away over night

★ so he always leaves post-it notes around reminding you to eat and take care of yourself, and also one’s that tell you how much he cares and loves everything about you

★ he’s so damn cute somebody hold me

Jaehee:

☞ GIRL SAME

☞ i know i’m repeating myself but this lady gets you

☞ we know that when she started working for Jumin, he made her cut her hair and wear fake glasses, and even though she looked HOT AS HELL (yes baehee work it) she just felt wrong and uncomfortable about her appearance

☞ so she could pick up on the fact that you were insecure from the get go

☞ she noticed how you would shy away from pictures, and you always wore clothes that would hide your body

☞ well that just won’t do

☞ something must be done

☞ you wILL FEEL THE LOVE MC YOU WILL

☞ organises a shopping trip for you to try on some hella cool outfits

☞ invites Zen along because, as stated above, he is very vocal with his praise and is just really good at hyping you up

☞ pretty sure everyone in the shop hates you because Jaehee and Zen do not hold back whenever you come out of the changing room lmao

☞ you may have been kicked out of one shop but let’s not worry about that

☞ you came home with some pretty fire outfits that were really flattering on you and just made you feel great ya know?

☞ Jaehee is usually pretty shy when asking you personal questions

☞ but she wants to help you, so one night over dinner she manages to get you to open up to her

☞ and man Jaehee is a good listener

☞ as a woman, i feel like she is able to understand where you’re coming from more than any of the others, so you’re in good hands :)

Jumin:

♚ this man…

♚ he just doesn’t get it i’m so sorry

♚ it’s not that he doesn’t care about your insecurities or thinks you are ridiculous for feeling that way, not at all actually

♚ looks were just never something he really thought about it in general

♚ he knew he was ‘good-looking’ and he knew what was considered ‘good-looking’, he just never cared about it much

♚ at first he was just like??? but you’re literally MC??? what is there to be insecure about???

♚ you had done pretty well at hiding your insecurities at the beginning of your relationship

♚ which was helped by the fact that Jumin would never assume that you had anything to dislike about yourself, so he never looked out for/noticed the signs

♚ it took a whole year guys damn

♚ it had been a year since you got together, so he wanted to take you out for a lovely meal

♚ but he also bought you a beautiful dress

♚ haha…

♚ this was where it went tits up lmao

♚ you were so grateful for it, it was a really stunning dress and you were actually pretty excited to try it on

♚ and so was he hehehe

♚ but when you came out of the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror, he noticed that your eyes were welling up and boi your face did not look happy

♚ Jumin’s like: ??????

♚ Jumin.exe has stopped working

♚ instantly takes you in his arms, shushing and cooing you as he rubbed your back

♚ “My love, what is it?”

♚ after a few sniffles, you knew you just had be honest with him

♚ “I’m sorry, Jumin. It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen but I just ruin it…it belongs on someone else, not on me.”

♚ holds you so much tighter and even starts to feel tears prick his own eyes

♚ he takes a different approach to compliments

♚ he finds a way to compliment your appearance without sounding superficial or fake

♚ instead of “you’re beautiful”, he goes for “your smile lights up the room” or “you carry so much warmth and kindness in your eyes”

♚ it’s his way of letting you know that he thinks you’re the most gorgeous thing to walk the planet, but while also telling you that you are so much more than what you look like

Saeyoung:

☀︎ hoo hoo boiiiiii

☀︎ i’m just gonna cut to the chase

☀︎ he found out during some ~sexy times~

☀︎ i’m not going into graphic detail it’s not that kind of post ;)

☀︎ things were getting hella heated like damn

☀︎ so he started to ya know like…unbutton your shirt

☀︎ why am i actually getting embarrassed while writing this i need to get a grip

☀︎ spot the virgin lmfao

☀︎ but then you stopped him and he’s like P A N I C

☀︎ terrified that he crossed a line bby chill for a sec

☀︎ but then you ask if you could turn off the light and he starts to suspect that you don’t want him to see your body

☀︎ he’s so gentle about the topic it’s very sweet

☀︎ he wants you to know that he loves every fibre of your being, but he also doesn’t want to push you if you’re uncomfortable

☀︎ “MC, I adore every part of you, including your body. If you want me to turn off the light I absolutely will, but if you let me, I want to show you just how much you mean to me.”

☀︎ you hesitated, but eventually agreed to leave the light on

☀︎ and JESUS CHRIST HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT

☀︎ Saeyoung has an incredible attention to detail, as well as patience

☀︎ and he took his sweet time with you lemme tell ya

☀︎ you’re pretty sure he kissed every inch on your body whilst also whispering his praise as he did so

☀︎ he honestly made you feel like a Goddess

☀︎ everything he said was sincere and he just treated you with so much care and love and that shit is contagious

☀︎ ever since then, he was more physically affectionate with you until eventually you didn’t even think twice when undressing in front of him

☀︎ hello yes i would like to order one Saeyoung pls thank you

☀︎ actual love of my life

V / Jihyun:

❁ he asked you to be his model for one of his paintings

❁ and you were like ummmm……okay maybe it won’t be too bad????

❁ but this man has no chill

❁ he wanted you to be semi-nude and you were like h e l l  n o

❁ he was also Confused™

❁ you tried to make up some excuse but it was hopeless

❁ so you just told him that being nude in front of him was already difficult for you, but for you body to be on display for others to see was just too much

❁ this sweet man

❁ his heart broke

❁ it hurt him so much to know that someone with such a kind soul ever doubted her worth, especially because of something like your looks

❁ you were absolutely stunning to him, but he wanted you to believe that yourself

❁ he made a deal with you that if you modelled for him and were still uncomfortable with the outcome, then it would only ever be seen by you two

❁ you reluctantly agreed, and he made it his mission to make you see yourself through his eyes

❁ it took him a while to complete, but when he did oh man

❁ you full on started sobbing

❁ OH SHIT HE MADE MC CRY PANIC PANIC

❁ someone help this man

❁ you managed to tell him that you weren’t crying because you were upset, but because you never thought that you would ever see yourself as beautiful

❁ but the way he painted you GOOD G R I E F

❁ he made you look ethereal, and you couldn’t believe that this was how he saw you

❁ you didn’t even focus on the parts of you that you would usually hate because he made them look so heavenly and like,,,they belonged there???

❁ “Jihyun, you made me look so lovely.”

❁ “No, my love, that’s just what I saw. Everything you see here is you, nothing else.”

❁ okay great he made you cry even more goOD jOb jIhYuN

Saeran:

☽ ha ha ha ha ha

☽ you thought Jumin was bad?? oh i am so sorry my guy

☽ he just has no clue

☽ “What do you mean? Why do you care about how you look? You’re not ugly or anything.”

☽ gee thank you Saeran

☽ but also you are not helping in the slightest

☽ he’s REALLY not good at expressing his affection okay pls give him a break

☽ but he’s not heartless come on now

☽ it took him a while to fully understand where you were coming from, and even then he struggled to find a way to help

☽ Saeran is a very quiet supporter

☽ it’s hard to spot to the naked eye, but you know when Saeran cares for you because you feel it

☽ the first thing he notices is your body language

☽ and since he doesn’t really know what to do, he kinda just...adjusts you

☽ for example, if he sees that your body language is very closed off, almost like your trying to hide your body, he’ll silently move your shoulders and fix your posture so you are more open

☽ and if he sees you bow your head or try to block your face, he’ll silently lift your chin up

☽ but the most important part is that when he does this, he always smiles at you

☽ now Saeran is very careful with expressing his emotions. so when he does show his feelings, you know he means it

☽ so you started to hold yourself with more certainty and confidence, because it made him smile to see you not hiding away

☽ ‘fake it til you make it’ is a very real thing, and eventually it became natural to embrace every part of you

☽ when he became more comfortable, he told you that he was proud of how far you’d come and how he loved to see you feel good in your own skin

***

Thank you anon for the request, I hope you’re doing okay. Once again, anyone is welcome to message me if you’re struggling and need a friend to talk to <3 x

[spookysmujer]

His Girl pt.2 // Sad Eyes

Summary: Your relationship with Sad Eyes is now known but Spooky loves to mess with his little sister. A sweet and sultry end 🍒

warnings: mild swearing, s m u t 🥵 18+

word count: 2.4k

A/N: twice in one day, who is she? LOL a follow-up to His Girl. Spooky finding out about his little sister and right hand man being a thing! Who else has protective siblings? I hope to see more people write for Sad Eyes, such a stud muffin and we need more gifs. My next fic includes 🧊+ 🎰 with Spooky. Let’s just say what happens there? Stays there.

When you were in 8th grade and Spooky a freshmen, it gave you a little freedom, finally. It meant that you didn’t have to sneak around the hallways to wave to that boy you liked. But Spooky being Spooky had figured it out soon enough. Just as he had figured out now about you and Sad Eyes.

“Snitches get stitches!”

Is what you said that night you found your brother and lover standing outside of your window before shutting it. You all but hoped that he would be a little understanding and give you shit for brief moment but that wasn’t the case. He gave you shit, shit like you were a teenager again.

“What made you think I wouldn’t find out?” Oscar asks you as you sit in silence during breakfast. Cesar has kept his head down the whole time.

You play with the food on your plate, ignoring the comments your big brother has been making since you woke up. This must be hell I’m in? You ponder.

“Didn’t seem to have a clue for the last 3 months..” You say under your breath, Oscar stares at you with a scowl.

When one of his homies mentioned that the summer had been going hard with all these rucas outta high school, someone commented how Sad Eyes was going soft and claimed a ruca before getting a real taste of summer vibes. When asked who, someone slipped ‘your sister’. Sad Eyes never felt holes burned so deep into his skull. When Spooky asked, he had no words. There was rage of course, but if anyone were to date his little sister, who better than is right hand.

But of course, being Spooky, he couldn’t resist giving you shit. Especially for hiding it from him.

“Hm.. well I hope you enjoyed it. No más.” He lights a cigarette, you look to him finally. Your mouth agape, “You heard me.”

“What... I-I’m not a kid!” You slam your hand on the table and he furrows your brows, telling you to calm down,” No, I won’t calm down! I get that you think me dating a Santo isn’t safe but you are my brother for fucksake. Everyone knows it!”

He laughs to himself at your outrage. Oscar continues to eat, you want to flip the table. The Diaz temper present in all 3 of you.

You push yourself away from the table and stomp out of the kitchen and into the your room, slamming the door.

You scroll through your contacts and call him, desperately hoping your brother hadn’t murdered him himself or send the other Santos on him. Despite a few attempts to get in contact, to no avail. Oscar is going to get it, he wants to give you hell? You were gonna give him hell.

It didn’t take long for Oscar to bring home a hyna. You sat in the living room one night when he enters with her.

“Hm, jumping back in the game quick?” You comment, sipping on a coffee. He glances at you briefly, as he pulls the girl through the house. He stops and sees Jasmine in the kitchen, she waves and the hyna gags. Egg salad.

“Um, maybe I’ll call you.” She pulls her hand back and exits the house. You are dying of laughter, the silent kind of laughter. Head tipped back and tears falling.

Oscar gives Jasmine a look and then turns to stand in front of me, “You serious?”

“Oscar, 1. Y/N, 1, bitch. You gonna learn real quick who ran this shit while you were gone. You fuck with my dick intake and I fuck with you hyna intake. Goodnight, mano.” You push past him to join Jas in the kitchen.

Your brother seethes in anger. If you two were in high school, he’d do as he use to and pull your ponytail to fight you on the ground. You have the scars to prove all the physical fights you got in.

☹☻☹☻☹☻☹☻☹☻☹☻☹☻☹

You and Oscar were petty with each other like old times. He couldn’t help it but he has bigger fish to fry now so he green light to Sad Eyes.

“Com’n, we’re going to pool.” Oscar tells you as you lay in your room, you roll your eyes but agree to because of the heat wave that rolled in.

You get changed and head to the pool with your two brothers.

It’s a nice day at the pool, perfect for tanning. You lay on your back, sunnies on.

“Hola mami.”

You hear a familiar voice, peer over your glasses and rest on your elbows, you see a shirtless Sad Eyes standing in front of you. He set his things down beside you nodding to your brother. Your brows furrow.

“Puto!”

Sad Eyes grabs his shoulder that you hit and laughs. He knew that meant that you understood exactly what that head nod meant. No phone call or texts, Oscar reminding you for the past couple days who runs the ship now, all the shit you’ve been given!

“You think you two are soooo funny, hm?” You can hear Oscar laughing in the pool. “Puto I fucking swear.”

Sad Eyes laughs a little more before kissing yourcheek, “Lo siento, mi amor. I had a couple runs I needed to do and he thought it would funny to just mess around with you. He gave me some hard shit for keeping us on the DL. But all in all he thinks it’s better than dating some pendejo.”

You roll your eyes, flipping over onto your stomach. His eyes go to your ass, sharply inhaling air. He missed his mujer.

“Too bad because it seems I am dating one.” You turn your head away. “You realize because you think this is so funny that you get it twice as bad, right? So your 3 days times 2... 6. 6 days you’ll spend being ignored by me. And my kitty and my mouth.”

He laughs at you pettiness. You hear the sunscreen bottle cap and turn to see him rubbing the lotion on his tan skin. The devil in you is forcing you to watch. You can’t look away.

“Need more?” He asks you. You shrug and move your hair over your shoulder. Sad Eyes takes some in hand and rubs them together. His hands smear the lotion on your backside, massaging it into you skin. Oh man, you haven’t felt his hands on you in days.

No! Don’t fall for this!

It’s when his hands move over your ass that you jump. He lets out a breathy laugh and massages for a second before removing his hands.

“Brave.” You comment.

“Yearning.” He slaps your ass and you squeal, looking towards the pool to see Oscar distracted.

After needing to ask God to control your body before jumping his bones right there, you and your brothers head home and get things going for the weekly Santo gathering.

“So he really doesn’t care?” You ask Sad Eyes as he sits against the headboard of your bed, smoking a blunt. He nods as he watches you get dressed.

“The black one.” He says as you look between two blouses. You hold it against your chest and licks his lips. “Hm.”

You set it down and untie your robe, letting it fall from your shoulders. You can hear the moment Sad Eyes loses his breath. Your black lace thong and matching bra clinging to you body so perfectly. He feel himself strain against his shorts.

“New set, like it?” You turn and let him see your ass. His eyes does all the speaking. “Too bad we got this party tonight.”

He stalks over to you as you stand in front of your body mirror. Towering behind you, he steps extra close to you, “I don’t know, mami. Heard that shit is going to be lame.”

You restrain your grin as he pulls your back against his chest, hands on your hip. Your push your ass into groin area and he groans into your ear. His breath hitting your neck as you watch him loosen him.

“Hmm, I don’t know. My mans pissed me off and I wanna show him what he missing.”

“Fuck him.” He pushes his hands down your thighs, using his knee to hit your legs apart. You feel a tingle hit your core immediately.

Sad Eyes steps back and pulls his shirt off and sits on your bed. You give up, once that damn shirt is off there is no resistance. You walk over to him and straddle his lap, feeling his broad shoulders and pushing him down. He watches you with complete lust in his eyes. Those 3 days away from his bebe has been torture.

“You really pissed me off you know, not giving me a heads up about your run. I thought my brother literally killed you.” You push his hands up from where they were resting and hold them above his head. He bites his bottom lip as your boobs hover over his face.

“Forgive me, mami. Lemme make it up to you.”

He lifts his head to plant kisses on your chest, licking your cleavage and earning an involuntary moan from you. He smirks at this and takes the opportunity to overpower you and flip you two over. He sits on his knees and kisses your torso, slowly. Inching down closer and closer to where you want him most. You watch as he does so, his eyes locked on yours.

Your hips can’t help but squirm, yearning for friction. The man is a complete tease and loves to see you whine for his touch. His breath hits against your inner thighs followed by longing kisses.

“Stop teasing,” You close your legs to trap his head which makes you smirk. He pulls your panties down and tosses them over his shoulder. He listens to you and dives right in. His tongue hot in pursuit on your clit.

The moment he makes contact, your back arches off the bed. You grab a pillow and hold it over your face to suppress the moan that you have no control over coming out. Sad Eyes pushes your legs up at the base of your ass to have nice view and space to put in work. His tongue is lathering your sensitive bud as well as teasing your entrance.

You moan and move, feeling the sensation build. God, how could you have stayed mad at him? He makes you come undone with his mouth, his touch, his body and even a just look most of the time. He set off new things you never felt, physically and emotionally. Though you two never formally spoke of being together nor did he openly claim you, you didn’t see end to being with him.

“Mhmmm,” He hums, sending vibrations through your core and nearly having you cross eyed.

You push yourself on your elbows to watch him. Eyes locked and nothing but sin staring back at you, “Fuck me already.” He licks one last swipe and comes up to kiss you, tasting yourself on his tongue. His hand finds your hips to tell you move up. He taps your ass for you to move on your knees. Face down, ass up his favorite way to have you.

He pulls your ass to press against him. You can feel his erection and how bad he is about to give it to you, “Please, papi.” A hiss escapes you as he lands a smack on your ass. Then another. You finally feel his fingers spreading your arousal to prepare you for him. He soon replaces his fingers with his cock. For a minute, he pushes himself through your folds to get him slicked up too. This alone is enough to send you into oblivion.

You are growing impatient but before you can speak up he slides himself deep into you to the hilt. His impressive size stretching you, a burn starts but pleasure continues. You both groan as he stays in place to get you comfortable. Sad Eyes has you in his control and you are not complaining.

“So warm, all mine. Hm? Tell me.”

You gasp when he pulls your hair back as your skins slap together, “I-I’m yours, only yours, Papi.” He pulls your hair harder to get you to sit up. Your back is pressed against his chest, still getting pounded. He still has his grip on your hair, your cheek pressed against his. Sad Eyes grabs your face to turn you to look at him, his mouth covers yours and you kiss roughly. Tongues fighting for dominance.

The sensation that has been building up is nearing a release. Your moans sound in the room without your control as if he has a control on how your body reacts. Thankful for the music blasting outside and inside your room to muffle the sounds of you both slowly coming undone.

“Oh shiiiit, fuck.” He releases the grip on your hair and lets you fall forward, gripping your hips now and he is pounding into you relentlessly. He pulls out and strokes himself before pushing back into. He does so a few times before he started to pound you again. The pace picked up meant that he is close to release too. You’d be lying to say you were both about to cum together but you ride out your orgasm for him to reach his.

He reaches under you to rub your clit to help intensify your orgasm. And nearly instantly, your body convulses. The pleasure exploding inside you. You are gasping and releasing inhumane sounds from the bliss your body is feeling.

“Fuck.” He says as he pulls out just in time for his seed to spurt on your ass.

Fuck a workout, all you need is this. You’re trying to catch your breath as he gets off the bed and reaches for towel hanging to wipe the mess from you as you still lay with your ass in the air.

“I can’t move, help.” You laugh and he helps you. He pulls you flush against him, your orgasm has your legs weak. Kissing you while feeling your heated body.

“I’ll never get use to this, you know. Not just the fucking you senseless. Just being with you.” He holds your face in his hands. His eyes glint with adoration.

You blush and look away before puckering your lips for another kiss. He complies, “Mmm, good. I don’t wanna get use to it. I wanna have long days and nights with you. For a while.”

He smiles and nods in agreement, “Mi mujer.”

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 11: Discharge Plan

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: The highs of Shane and Sy’s first weekend as a couple are followed up by some big news from Sy, leading to our couple’s first fight.

Don’t miss a session! Click here to catch up on this story or explore my other works!

Word Count: 2.7

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, sort of unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, angst, alcohol consumption,

Author’s Note: First off, I wanna talk about the word “victuals.” I’ve loved this word for a long time, even though it makes no sense, phonetically as it actually rhymes with the “fiddles” or “riddles.”(It’s true, look it up!) It’s very pastoral and somewhat archaic, so you don’t hear it too much anymore in current writing about the present, but I just felt like Sy would say it. Secondly, it was really hard for me to put my darlings through the argument in this chapter. I want them to have only happy times…but that provides no tension or motivation for story development…and I want to keep writing them more than I want them to be happy… I guess I finally understand why authors torture their characters! Lol! It might take a bit of time for me to sort out what their relationship looks like adding the distance factor, but I have some ideas that might work. Also, it might be an opportunity to do a bit more of Sy’s perspective, which I thoroughly enjoy, and may go back and fill in some blanks for him in between chapters I’ve already done. I hope you all enjoy this installment of the Treatment of Captain Syverson! Feedback in any form is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

The rest of the weekend was spent in blissful relaxation. Sy went to his place to feed Aika and bring her over at Shane's insistence. The dog had been slightly standoffish with her, but Sy assured her that it was in her nature to be aloof, and that she needed to be engaged or instructed to behave more doglike.

"It's her training. She's still a soldier. It's hard for us to shake those habits. Like me calling you 'ma'am' at first."

"She's another die hard. I respect that." she chuckled, scratching Aika behind her perked ears, and eliciting pants of contentment from her.

Sy's skills with a spatula were unmatched. That was to say, he made the best pancakes she'd ever had. They almost didn't need syrup…almost. They ordered an obscene amount of Chinese takeout which lasted them about three meals each. Sunday evening, though, which had a gloom to it no matter the circumstances, required some comfort food. They agreed on pasta, so Shane made up some of her famous alfredo sauce and probably twice the recommended portion of pasta for two humans to consume. There were no leftovers. Sy had three helpings, himself. Three heaping bowls of it. Shane couldn't handle more than one and a half servings, even though she wanted to gorge herself. She knew too much would make her ill.

When they weren't eating, the were cuddling on the couch, or in Shane's bed. They watched more Parks and Rec, and a few other films and shows that Sy requested, just to break things up. Their bodies were constantly wrapped in each other, leading to frequent bouts of making out, fooling around, and sex in almost every room of the house.

Her favorite had been the shower. She insisted on getting cleaned up, but Sy had objections.

~~~~~~~~

"I'll be less than ten minutes, come on, I reek! You can't wanna kiss me when I smell like this!" she said, trying to shut the bathroom door on the human mack truck before her. Broad and formidable.

"You smell like sex, and…me, darlin. I've never wanted to kiss you more," he said, backing her up toward the shower doors. "but I guess if you must. Lemme help, though." he pulled open the glass door, forcing her into his captivating kiss, and maneuvering her backward into the walk-in, stone tile shower. He pulled off her tank top, capturing her breasts in his hands and mouth for a moment before kneeling to remove her shorts and kiss her thighs. He pulled himself away too quickly and started the water flowing.

"Sy, you're fully dressed!" he was barefoot, but otherwise, in jeans and her favorite of his tees. The letters DILLIGAF across a skull, black on red. She always laughed on the inside when she saw it. Because although Sy often had to put on a calloused and brusque act when he'd been an officer in the Army, he was terribly soft and sweet when the occasion called for it. The irony being that although he didn't look like he gave a fuck, he actually did.

"I've got more clothes in the truck and you've got a dryer." he maneuvered her under the pulsing stream of the showerhead. "Gotta get you wet." he let the water run through her hair as he reached for her shampoo, a coconutty concoction that reminded her of summer, squeezed a bit into his hand, and lathered it up. He worked the suds into her wet hair gently, raking his nails across her scalp in a way that excited and ignited every atom in her. She sighed at his touch which made him groan with need.

He tilted her head back to rinse the lather out and reached for the conditioner. He was a bit more generous with it than strictly necessary, but she didn't protest. He pulled her hair forward in two sections, one over each shoulder and worked the emollient into the strands. His hands slick from the product, he ran them over her breasts and her abdomen and hips…between her legs. There her own arousal was primed to combine with the tropical unction. She gasped as he worked his fingers over her, slow at first, but speeding up, only to slow again. When she finally whimpered in frustration, he undid his jeans, and backed her up to the stony grey wall, not giving a fuck, as his shirt had suggested, that he and his clothes were getting soaked. His only care now apparently, was to satisfy the simpering cries of "yes, please." from Shane.

His first few thrusts were slow and measured, knowing that she was still adjusting to his size. But it didn't take long for him to lose control. She wasn't sure what was making him like this, but she was not complaining in the least. The texture of his jeans on her bare, wet thighs was a sensation she wouldn't soon forget. She gripped at him, holding onto his shirt for dear life as her climax built to impossible heights.

She was loving the way he lost himself in the ferocity of the act. And his release led to hers immediately. She wrapped herself around him in blissful embrace, and whispered his name as a prayer.

"Sorry, darlin,' I meant to…"

"It's okay. I'm on the pill and I'm not at a particularly dangerous time in my cycle."

He kissed her tenderly and reached for her bath puff and some body wash. "Well, let’s get ya cleaned up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only good part about Monday was that she'd be treating him. Although, he was scheduled in the afternoon. Her morning would drag on eternal.

He greeted her with a typical "hey, susnshine" and she led him into the gym, feeling his gaze on her ass, wanting, even though they'd just left each other quite satisfied that morning. He was freshly showered, beard well groomed, and his hair growing back in very nicely. He'd asked her weeks ago whether he should keep the buzzed look or not, and she had been entirely for growing it out. She wanted something to run her hands through. She'd be fine if it was at least shoulder length, but she wouldn't push that on him.

They did their normal warm up on the bikes, followed by some plyometric drills, which made him scowl at her in a way that lit her up like a firecracker. But the fact that he was able to jump up onto the box was encouraging. He couldn't have done that a month ago. He was progressing so well and was so close to his long term goals and discharge. It almost made Shane sad. It wasn't as though they wouldn't see each other, but having him break up the insanity of her day three times a week for just an hour was invaluable.

As they were doing their usual end of the session stretch in her treatment room, and she noted the improved range of motion he was getting, he broke the amiable silence with a question.

"Hey, can I bring a pizza or somethin' over for dinner tonight after you get off?"

"Sure!" she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. She prodded. "Everything okay? You've been a bit…off today."

"I'm good. Just a little distracted." he deflected by touching her hip, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She swatted him away.

"Not here, Sy."

"But that makes it fun!" he pouted.

"No, that really could get me fired! Getting frisky on company time!"

"Mmmm, I'd love to frisk you right now." he reached between their legs to try and grab her again, but she thwarted him and pinned his wrists at his ears.

"Cool it, cowboy, or your last two sessions are gonna make you wish you'd never met me." she threatened.

"Ain't nothin', nothin' on God's good green earth could make me wish that, sunshine." His stunning blue eyes softened her resolve and she let go, continuing to stretch him.

"Still…cool it." she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd just had time to change into some comfy clothes, wash her face, and put her hair up when her doorbell rang.

Sy stood smiling under the porch light, a modern white knight, carrying a large pizza from Pizza Hut and a six pack of Miller High Life.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! And it's nice to see you too, Sy!" she laughed, teasing him.

"Should I leave the victuals and go?" he asked, mock concern on his sarcastic brow.

"Get in here, soldier."

She got out napkins and paper plates because as horrible as it sounded, she just couldn't think about doing dishes tonight. She was even glad Sy had brought drinks in disposable or recyclable containers, and not wine, which she tended to prefer. She was exhausted, but not upset, which made the silence they ate in bearable. Sy still seemed to have something on his mind, though.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about tonight, Sy?"

"Kinda, yeah, uh…it's kind of a big thing for me, and I know this is new, what we have, but…well, I'll just tell ya."

"Go on." she encouraged, worried.

"I…I talked to my old CO about jobs in the private sector. He referred me to a company that…well it's sort of an employment agency for vets. Mostly security for private companies and individuals. I had a phone interview with them this past Tuesday. I just got a call this morning that they want to meet me in person to finalize everything. Mostly a formality. When I go for that, I'll also have to stay there a couple of weeks to a month for training."

"Where is this…gig?" She said, flat affect hiding the feelings brewing under her skin.

"The offices are in Charlottesville…Virginia. And there may be some cross country training there in Shenandoah National Park."

"Cross country…by that do you mean survival training?" She was still cool, but getting more livid.

"You could call it that, I guess. But it won't be a challenge for me. I'm more worried about the technical stuff." His bravado and flippancy about the whole endeavor was enraging her. The thought that he'd be in the wilderness alone, was only a fraction of the big picture. He was going away for a month? And he had known about the job for a week now. A week in which so much about their relationship had changed, and shifted. How could he think she'd just accept this without a bit of raging.

"You waited until after we slept together to tell me this. You did it on purpose, Sy." that was the biggest problem, she thought. The fact that he seemed to be hiding it from her. It brought back old trauma that she thought he'd never have subjected her to.

"Yes and no, Shane. I wasn't intentionally keeping anything from you, I just didn't wanna bring it up until somebody bit."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark about something you were excited about? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I didn't wanna get your hopes up or mine. Honestly."

"Saying 'honestly' doesn't make it honest, Sy. I've told you about everything that Elliott put me through. The lies. The secrets. This puts a bad taste in my mouth. You have to see that. Can't you?"

"Oh, sunshine, I--"

"No, please. Do not do that right now. Don't call me sunshine when all I can see is the night."

"I'm so sorry. My intention was not to make you feel in any way like that asshole ever did. Please hear me when I say that. I want to be the opposite of him in your mind in every way, darlin.' Please believe that."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, now nearing tearfulness that she felt he must be telling her the truth. She nodded. But was still apprehensive about the nature of the job and the training.

"But…what if you get hurt again?"

"I won't. You've all but fixed me, Shane. I'm stronger than ever."

"Can't you just…find a safe job? Here?" She was being selfish. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew she might regret it.

"Sit at a desk, ya mean? Deliver pizzas?" he indicated the box between them on the table. "Call people and ask them if they're happy with their cable services, Shane? Is that all I'm good for now?" he was angry.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, of course not. You're a PT. That's what you were meant to do, right? Well, imagine if you couldn't do that no more. Something or another, an injury, perhaps, or just plain ol' shitty situation, left you in a position where you couldn't go back. Couldn't do your dream job. Couldn't fulfill your purpose." he spat. "Wouldn't you do anything you could to be some shadow of what you were meant to be?"

She couldn't speak. Because he was right in so many ways.

"Because right now, I'm nothin'. I'm not doin' anyone any good. I'm a drain on my country, the one I swore to protect with my very life. It's like I've broken an oath. And it's fractured my soul."

"I see that. I truly do. But I need you here. You do ME good, Sy. I'm already half dreading d/c'ing you. I don't wanna have to say a goodbye, too." it was her truth. But it hit him very much sideways.

"So…what is it, Shane? You only want me when I'm broken? You only want me so you can fix me?"

"No, of course not! That's not what--"

"Am I a charity case to ya now? Is that why ya finally gave in and let me in your bed?"

"Sy, no!" she was crying now. It had hurt so much to think that he could have gotten that from what she'd said.

"I think if you can have feelings hurt about this situation then so can I."

He stood to leave, but she caught him by the wrist.

"Shane…you know I would never, ever harm you. But please… don't test my limits. Let… go." She did.

She was still quite a bit faster than him, so she ran ahead and blocked the door.

"Move." he insisted. She didn't.

"Hear me out, and then I'll let you go."

He crossed his arms and nodded, his gaze still one of cold steel.

"Sy, I didn't mean to make this job that you're clearly excited for into a source of anguish or to make it about me. I'm thrilled that you're going to get to do something you want in another field. I really am. I just…being with you has made me realize how good life can really be. And even if you'd told me before we slept together, I would have said the same thing. It was selfish of me to haul my baggage into the conversation when you aren't, have never been, and could never be Elliot. His best couldn't compare with your worst. And I will do my best in the future to think about who you are before I complain about the work you find to do."

"It's like I said about Aika before. She's a soldier. Hard trained. And so am I. It took a lot of hard work for me to get where I am, so much that it fundamentally altered who I am as a person. Now, in my opinion, those changes were for the better. I was kind of a shit before I became a soldier, thought the sun rose and set with me. I got some perspective and met some good people…lost some, too. Saw some shit I can't unsee. Some of it haunts me to this day, and I figure it always will. But I reckon if I can keep fighting the fight somehow. Keep protecting people in whatever way I can, my training and experience won't be a total waste."

"I understand and respect that, Sy. And I will back you in any way I can. I'll water your plants, I'll keep Aika whenever you're gone, I'm here for you."

"Oh, shit! I wasn't even thinking about having to leave my dog behind! Maybe this WON'T work!" he chuckled.

"Second fiddle to another woman already. I knew you were gonna break my heart, Captain Logan Syverson."

"Never intentionally, sunshine." he hugged her, tight, and with his whole body. Their argument in the past and their future an exciting mystery. Shane had never felt so safe and loved.

Up Next: Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: A3! Anime Blu-Ray & DVD Volume 3′s Drama CD Bonus “SEASON SUMMER EXTRA EPISODE vol.01″

Tenma goes on a journey to look for grape juice after losing a game with Yuki. (Thank you to @bishounenpalace for sharing the audio files with me!)

You can buy the item here.

Yuki: Good work today~. *sighs* It's finally over.

Muku: Nice work, guys. Today's rehearsal was pretty tiring, huh, there's a lot of things we need to remember.

Tenma: Hey, why did you sound so defeated over this much? Will you be okay?

Listen, since our show is fast approaching, we've gotta--.

Yuki: Yeah, yeah. Just save the rest for the theater troupe's blog.

Tenma: What did you say--.

Kazunari: Good work, Tenten!

Tenma: Urgh...! Don't hug me, Miyoshi!

Misumi: Kazunari and Tenma get along so well~! Lemme join too!

Tenma: Argh, stop it! That's enough!

Muku: I'm sorry!

Yuki: Why are you apologizing?

Muku: It's because I made complaints soon after our rehearsal… I truly am just a weak, useless, slow and stupid bird…

Tenma and Yuki: No one said that.

Kazunari: Now, now, guys. It's also thanks to Director-chan's strict coaching that we've all improved this much.

Misumi: Yup, yup! We've got a full triangle score for today's rehearsal~.

Yuki: What kind of score is that?

Tenma: Ugh… I'm going back first.

Muku: Where are you going, Tenma-kun?

Tenma: Huh? I'm just returning to my own room. You have any problems with that?

Yuki: You're heading to the entrance, though.

Tenma: Ugh…! I-I know that much…!

Kazunari: Don't tell me you're…

Tenma: No! I just had something to do at the entrance.

Yuki: Hmm? Elaborate please.

Tenma: Huh? Uhh… That's… I wanted to make sure the door was locked...and our shoes… In any case, I have a lot to do!

*steps away*

Misumi: *sighs* He's gone~.

Muku: It's kind of surprising.

Kazunari: Tenten is so cwutee!

Yuki: What is that hack doin' trying to look cool like that?

***

Tenma: 62...63...64…

Yuki: Hey.

Tenma: 65… What?

Yuki: I don't mind you doing sit-ups here, but… Don't put your legs on my side.

Tenma: Huuh? It's not like I can't help it, y'know? Our room is small. And it's not like I can have my own room.

Yuki: All I'm saying is you need to be mindful of your surroundings a little bit more, hack.

Tenma: The he… Which part of me is a hack!?

Yuki: It's the fact that you can't read the mood, you don't have common sense… and the fact that you're de…

Tenma: Enough! In that case, I'll prove to you that you're wrong.

Yuki: Hmmm? Shall we have a Shiritori game to see how much common sense you have?

Tenma: Shiritori? That's easy.

Yuki: Easy? Since you say so, can I decide on the theme? If you lose, you've gotta bring some juice at the kitchen here.

Tenma: Fine. Got it.

Yuki: Alright. Let's go with needlework as the theme.

Tenma: Needlework? ...F-Fine.

Yuki: I'm going first. Pattern paper. (Katagami)

Tenma: Pattern paper? Mi… Mi…

Yuki: What? Losing already? It's the one you use when you make clothes.

Tenma: Oh, I get it! Hmph, I knew it. This is so easy! Sewing machine! (Misin)

***

Yuki: Get me grape juice. The one with some soda in it.

Tenma: Why are you treating me like a gofer…

Yuki: You lost the game. I'm thirsty, so hurry up.

Tenma: Urgh…!

*slams door*

***

Muku: Ahh… the weather is nice outside~. Even the sky looks pretty. ...Hm?

Tenma: The kitchen… should be here… right?

Muku: Tenma-kun?

Tenma: …! Huh, it's just you, Sakisaka.

Muku: What are you doing in front of the bathroom? I don't think the water is warm enough around this time.

Tenma: Bathroom? What are you saying? This is…

*door opens*

Tenma: A bathroom.

Muku: Oh. Are you perhaps… lost?

Tenma: WHAAT!? N-No! There's...There's no way I'll get lost in the dorm, you know!

Muku: Y-You have a point! U-Umm… So what are you doing, Tenma-kun?

Tenma: I'm just… grabbing some juice.

Muku: Uhh… In the bathroom?

Tenma: U-ugh… There are some, you know! I saw it when I was filming a scene in a public bathhouse late at night!

Muku: W-Well, I do think there are juices in the public bathhouse, but… Shall we go together to the kitchen, then? I also want to go grab some drinks.

Tenma: I… I'll tag along if you say so.

Muku: Okay!

***

Muku: Hmm… Guess I'll drink the barley tea. How about you, Tenma-kun?

Tenma: Grape juice, with some soda in it.

Muku: Do we have that here… Umm, nope. Do you want any other juice instead?

Tenma: No.

Muku: But the other juices are just as delicious…

Tenma: I've made a promise with Rurikawa, more or less.

Muku: Oh, I see. It's for Yuki-kun. You're so kind, Tenma-kun.

Tenma: You've got it wrong! It's because I lo… No, I mean, things happened. Why should I willingly do something for Rurikawa, anyway?

Muku: You two are close, huh. I'm jealous.

Tenma: HUUH!? H-How!? Why should I get along with him when we don't even click? We just happened to be joining the same theater troupe and aiming to make this play a success.

Muku: You see, I'll be so happy if all of us in the Summer Troupe can spend joyful and sad time together.

Tenma: Rather than us as a group… we should be working hard on our own, you know. No one will save you if you fail on the stage.

Muku: You have a point, but…

Tenma: Hmph. I'm going out for a bit, then.

Muku: Huh? Where are you going?

Tenma: Buying the grape juice, of course. We don't have it here.

Muku: He should be fine with other drinks, though.

Tenma: No. A promise is a promise. Besides, I'm just going to a convenience store nearby.

Muku: Do you know where it is?

Tenma: Of course I do! I've seen it countless times when Igawa takes me around by car.

Muku: Umm… In that case, it should be alright… I guess.

Tenma: Hmph. Of course.

***

Tenma: Hmm, it's farther than I thought.

Kazunari: Ooooh! I found Tenten!

Tenma: Oh, hey, Miyoshi. What are you doing at such a place?

Kazunari: Such a place… This is near our dorm, you know?

Tenma: What!? No way! It's been around an hour since I left the dorm!

Kazunari: Look behind you, Tenten.

Tenma: Huh? Behind me?

Kazunari: Can you see Sumi's big triangle roof right there?

Tenma: Y-Yeah. Hey, what's happening here!?

Kazunari: Umm.. Maybe you're going the same way over and over again? Where are you heading, anyway?

Tenma: I just want to go to the nearby convenience store…

Kazunari: Let's go together, then! Going to a convenience store with a celeb is surely something else!

Tenma: Ugh… I've told you, don't hug me! You can just tell me the way--.

Kazunari: But we're friends, right!? Don't say such a thing! Let's go together!

Tenma: Ugh… Fine, fine! Get off me!

***

Yuki: *sighs* I got so thirsty because of that hack.

Muku: What's wrong, Yuki-kun?

Yuki: I wanna drink some juice since it's hot.

Muku: Hmm? How about Tenma-kun?

Yuki: I should be the one asking that here. I told him to bring me some juice but he hasn't come back ever since.

Muku: Huh? Tenma-kun is not back yet?

Yuki: I should have expected the oh-so-great Tenma would not keep his promise.

Muku: I don't think that's the case…

Yuki: I dunno about that. Maybe his pride is just so high he can't forgive the fact that he lost a game.

Muku: But Tenma-kun said, "A promise is a promise." Maybe he's still looking for your grape juice outside.

Yuki: What? He can just take any juice. I get tired of waiting.

Muku: Let's try waiting a little bit longer.

Yuki: I'm thirsty, though, and I want to drink this juice.

Muku: I’m begging you, Yuki-kun! Believe in Tenma-kun!

Yuki: *sighs*... Why do I have to go along with that hack… Fine, I'll just have to wait, right?

Muku: Thank you, Yuki-kun!

***

Kazunari: As expected of Tenma! Celeb sure is different, huh~. They got so excited when they saw your face!

Tenma: *sighs* I usually wear sunglasses, though.

Kazunari: Why aren't you wearing it, then?

Tenma: It's because I left in a hurry. I even forgot to bring my phone.

Kazunari: Lemme give you nose glasses to help you disguise yourself next time!

Tenma: Don’t! ..But thanks for today.

Kazunari: Don't mind it! We're fellow Summer Troupe members, after all! We're friends!

Tenma: We're not friends! Fellow troupe members…well…

Misumi: Whoah! Kazu and Tenma!

Kazunari: Sumi! What are you doing?

Misumi: Looking for triangles~. Look look, this is the eldest of three triangle brothers!

Tenma: Ugh…! Where did you find those dolls!?

Misumi: They gave me these since I kept staring at them~.

Kazunari: Whoaah, that's so cool! Which one is the second son? It must be the one that… Hey, Tenten, where are you going?

Tenma: Dorm. I got what I find.

Kazunari: Huh, but…

Misumi: The dorm is this way, not that way.

Tenma: I just made a lil bit mistake! I'm going home!

Kazunari: Hold on, hold on! Let's go home together!

Misumi: Me too~.

Tenma: Do as you like.

Misumi: Oh, right! Lemme tell you something great~. You won't get lost if you make triangle clouds sign on your way. Triangle~ Triangle~.

Tenma: I-Is that so?

Kazunari: Tenten… So you really have a bad sense of direction?

Tenma: …! N-Not really. I just can't remember direction quickly. I’ve always had people take me around since childhood, so I don't have much chance to go out by myself.

Kazunari: Well, it can't be helped. Your parents are actors, after all. I'm sure you'll get used to it soon enough. 

Misumi: Ah! See, if you follow this triangle cloud, you can see our triangle roof!

Tenma: …! I have no idea the convenience store is this close…

Kazunari: You might be bad at it right now, but I'm sure you'll be fine once you remember the direction little by little. We're also with you, after all.

Misumi: Yup! We're all friends~.

Tenma: Ugh… Well, you're right.

***

Kazunari: We're home~!

Misumi: We're home~.

Tenma: We're back.

Muku: Ah…! Welcome back, guys! Yuki-kun, Tenma-kun is home.

Yuki: I can't believe it took you this long… You really are a hack.

Tenma: Hey.

Yuki: What? Do you have anything you wanna say?

Tenma: Here, your grape juice, with some soda in it.

Yuki: ….

Tenma: Hmm? What now? Complaining again?

Yuki: Yeah, yeah, thanks.

Tenma: I've gone to the trouble to buy the juice--what's with that response!?

Yuki: Huuh? Do you know how long I wait for you? Besides, I've never told you to bring the exact juice I want.

Tenma: …! I-In that case, let's have another game! And then we'll settle…

Yuki: I refuse.

Tenma: But why!?

Yuki: Because you're annoying, and a hack.

Tenma: Which part of me is annoying!? And I'm not a hack!

Kazunari: You two sure are close!

Tenma and Yuki: In what way!?

Kazunari: See? You're in sync!

Muku: Ahaha.

Misumi: Tenma and Yuki are close!

Tenma and Yuki: We're not!

Kazunari: See!? Hahaha.