#'test' is in quotes so it should go up front when I post.

[neverendingford]

.

[ace-oreos]

Dar Reads Lady Knight: Ch. 3

Finally back at it! This chapter covers a lot of ground considering it's fairly short, so I will probably have more to say than I did for the first two. As usual, commentary/favorite quotes are below the cut.

Love the Alanna and Neal moment on page 49... the whole "good question, next question" conversation. It would be super cool if we got a little short story of Neal's time as Alanna's squire. I can only imagine what that was like given their personalities.

"He said last night you're a bear for vegetables - Sir Nealan, that is" (pg. 50). Tobe's only been with Kel for a short time and Neal is already teaching him well, haha.

Cleon makes his entrance. I have to be honest, I'm happy with the decision Kel makes re: Cleon. She doesn't feel the same way she once did, and she knows it wouldn't be fair to either of them to try to continue the romance, Cleon's impending marriage aside. I was never a huge fan of Kel/Cleon, but I was glad Kel got to enjoy a healthy relationship while it lasted, considering how some of Alanna's relationships went.

"She didn't want Cleon as a lover now, of that she was sure. There was work to be done. She wanted no lovers until she had settled the Nothing Man's account" (pg 51). Not gonna lie, I really, really like these lines. There is work to be done, and devotion to duty has been the foundation of Kel's philosophy since day one.

I should note that I don't dislike Cleon as a character. He's doing the honorable thing by marrying someone in order to provide for the people he's responsible for as lord of Kennan.

I love the scene when Tobe asks Kel why she's crying, and her explanation: "It's not the war, Tobe. I've been shot at. I can bear it. I'm crying because my friend is unhappy and everything is changing." First of all, relatable. Second, I love the respect that already exists between Tobe and Kel - his first reaction isn't to make fun of her, but to sympathize.

Kel asking Duke Baird how he can still go and do his duty even after seeing the brutality of war firsthand makes me feel things. And his response that all he can do is his best. Ugh. Feels.

Baird asking Kel to keep an eye on Neal if they are assigned to the same post alsdkfj. Kel and Neal friendship 2kforever.

Owen's back! Gotta love Owen. The way he tries to be as formal as Wyldon trained him to be while still being irrepressibly Owen is so funny. What a gremlin.

Poor Kel, being worried that Wyldon doesn't trust her ability as a knight after all. If I were in her position, I'd probably feel the same about the possibility of getting a "safe" assignment. Especially since she knows that people will say she's not cut out to be a knight if she's not out on the front lines.

Kel and Wyldon's dynamic. Amazing. Wyldon has come so far since First Test, and Kel is willing to see that. I think anyone else would hold a grudge against Wyldon for the way he treated Kel if they were in her shoes, but she's willing to see past that.

Kel's going to do her duty if it kills her. This girl. I wish I could properly express what she means to me.

Mistress Fanche makes her entrance when Wyldon is showing Kel the refugees. Considering what she's been through, I don't think it would be fair to dislike her for her attitude.

"[Wyldon]'s happy, she realized, stunned. Training us - that was his duty. But he didn't like it. He's comfortable here, in the dirt and the cold, with people to defend" (pg. 70). I wonder if Kel realizes how similar she and Wyldon are when it comes to duty. She'll do whatever he orders, even if she privately disagrees or dislikes it, but at the end of the day she's happiest when there's hard work to be done.

The Kel and Owen moment at the end of the chapter. Kel's right - Owen is growing up well. They are 100% ride or die, and I am here for it. When Owen says he would do anything to help her, he means it. Kel hasn't had a lot of experience with that so far, what with several of her peers trying to sabotage her during her days as a page, so I imagine Owen's genuine loyalty must mean the world to her.

[darsynia]

Shipping and Handling Chapter 3 Sneak Peek

(Stucky x Reader slow burn, Steve x Reader fast burn, Friendship all around)

SERIES MASTERLIST | STORY MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

Summary: There’s a chance you and Steve aren’t the only people dealing with the strange chemical bond from Mistress, so you agree to submit to daily tests that should help Dr. Banner figure out what’s happening, and maybe how to stop it. The problem? Seeing each other every day brings a new set of side-effects that both of you hide from each other and Banner until things come to a head– not just for the two of you, but also for the man who has to deal with you: Bucky Barnes. Length/Warnings: around 600 / sexual situations

Tags: @munstysmind @ronearoundblindly @chickensarentcheap @themaradaniels @tiny-anne @deepbatched @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wolfstar-marvelsfan @icequeen1371 @chibijusstuff @brooke0297 @caplanreblogsfics @hails270105 @venusfalling @zzz000eee @eralen @mrsevans90 @myinconnelly1 @thorinsmistress @cjand10 @wckedheart @samfreakingwinchester @blind-devil @sanniegirl1214 @karimac @dispatchvampire @beautifulchaos723

Thanks for your patience everyone! It was QUITE a summer. To recap, this scene is in the middle of the next chapter, named Gravity, hopefully posted in the next few days. The reader has been exposed to the aphrodisiac Mistress, causing secondary transfer to Steve. She's in a wheelchair for physical-stability safety, no actual injury or incapacitation.

“Alone?” you whisper, sounding miserable.

Steve crouches down in front of the wheelchair, his heart clenched into as much of a fist as the hand he’s gripping the armrest with. His high-minded resolutions not to influence you have been shredded by the look on your face.

“Not alone, not if you don’t want to be. The third option is for me to stand by what I promised in the restaurant. To finish what we started, out in the car.”

Your breathing had been quick and distressed since he’d wheeled you out of Bruce’s lab, and as he watches, you struggle with your words, pulling in a breath only to let it out in furrowed-brow frustration twice. Finally, you let out a huff of a laugh and let your hands drop like you’ve given up trying to be diplomatic. 

“Are we coworkers, thanks to all this? Am I allowed to ask you exactly what you’re offering, or would that get lawyers involved?”

“Oh, I’m sure Tony would love to get lawyers involved,” Steve groaned, “--but this is just between us. No surveillance and no pressure. The limo is parked in a private garage, it has tinted windows, and Stark’s AI guards all access. It’s the safest place I could think of without a chance of being interrupted or--”

“Yes.” Along with the fervent assent, you throw your head back, your whole body going through a kind of delighted shudder of relief that has Steve standing and walking a short distance away so he doesn’t do anything rash.

After a few deep breaths, he says, “I’m going to wheel you into the elevator, but if I’m honest, I’m not sure you’re in any condition to agree to this.”

“At least as much as you did, the day we met!” Your laugh sounds manic, but when Steve turns around, he catches you letting out a deep breath, your hands in fists on your lap. “If--” your voice falters, but you clear your throat and continue. “If you really think that, I can’t do this to you. I’ll… go up to the apartment.”

His own disappointment at that option slices through his inhibitions, and Steve hastens to refute the necessity of your offer. “Don’t do that to yourself. You won’t be able to fix this without me.”

“I know. But you should have the choice.”

He hits the elevator button and the doors open right away, offering a distraction from responding as he wheels you in-- but Steve Rogers isn’t much for avoiding tough things.

He ignores the part of his brain that points out that this isn’t tough at all.

“I do have the choice. Bruce said, and I quote, ‘I’ve never seen you walk away from someone in distress, and I don’t expect you to start now.’ He’s right.”

Steve forces himself to count to twenty as the elevator takes the two of you to the sub basement, but his veneer of control is shattered when the doors open and he looks down at you. You’ve leaned your head back to look up at him, desire etched across your features-- but equally present is an expression of utter trust.

It’s as much of an intoxicant to him as Mistress.

He walks around to block the door of the elevator, turning to hold a hand out for you. No way is he going to wheel you to the limo for what’s about to follow. Your immediate, confident grasp does a lot to assuage his concerns. The way you stumble into him right afterwards is just a symptom of the malady he knows just how to fix.

The empty wheelchair in the elevator will do nicely as an indicator to whom it may concern.

[pokelolmc]

The Ultimate Enemy is a Disappointment (and How I'd Fix it) (Part 4)

Clockwork is one of the biggest problems with TUE. Change my mind. (Third biggest, specifically, behind Dan and the CAT).

I feel a little guilty, trash-talking fan-favourite Time Dad, but that’s okay—his character concept is really interesting, and I like him in fanon. But canon Clockwork, on the other hand...the writers fucked him up.

Writing a wise, all-knowing (or extensively foreknowing) character is challenging, and they put none of the thought required into it. They try to portray him as sympathetic in the ending--but everything that came before it accidentally implies he's negligent, morally unsympathetic and/or incompetent. And I don’t see ANYONE talking about it.

I still have some say about the Observants at the end, but there's just not as much on them. They appear less, and seem to be deliberately portrayed as incompetent, so their faults are bit more excusable.

(Like section 2, this'll be the criticisms and the fixes will be their own post. I have some very interesting ideas for Clockwork/Observant lore).

(Part 3), Part 4, (Part 4.5)

Part 4--A Wrench in the (Clock)works--The Ultimate Enemy’s failure at writing foreknowing/near-omniscient characters.

Clockwork behaves inconsistently with an all-knowing character. Rather than actively preventing Dan’s existence, he only pushes the events of Dan’s timeline along. And he makes statements/assertions in the episode that are factually wrong.

Given the quote above, and his ability to see the alternate future as he pleased, it’s openly possible that he had access to everything in both timelines, at any time he wanted in the episode, from the time window. So he could know of all the major events of The Ultimate Enemy itself in advance.

While I won’t say this with absolute certainty, I will criticise the writers for establishing this idea in the first place without putting any limitations on his character (to eliminate the possibility of complete foreknowledge). So assume that as just the upper limit. The actuality might be somewhere in the middle.

And this leaves some MASSIVE holes in the writing.

For an apparently wise/all-knowing “Master of Time”, Clockwork makes some terrible decisions.

He wants to demonstrate to the Observants that Danny “won’t grow up evil because he cheated on a test”. So he decides…to give Danny the answers (by orchestrating an “accident”), and see whether he’d cheat or not. This makes no sense and is entirely pointless (if he's as all-knowing as the episode treats him).

He should should already KNOW how his "test" will turn out. If it he didn't need it for himself, but was just trying to prove a point to the Observants, it’s still redundant. There's no reason to tempt Danny to cheat, when the response he already knows is coming won’t prove his point.

If Danny was going to come to the idea of cheating on his own, all Clockwork had to do was sit back and wait. All he ends up doing is make Danny “cheating” happen faster.

He also indirectly leads everyone at the Nasty Burger to their would-be deaths by enabling/facilitating all of the episode's time travel in the first place. The only reason everyone ends up at the Nasty Burger for the explosion in canon is because of the trio and Dan’s time travel (see part 3). Clockwork is the one who obliged the Observants' request to attack Danny. He sent back Skulktech, which gave the trio access to his tower--and to the alternate future, which prompted Dan to go back to the past to railroad his timeline into happening.

Which is something Clockwork should’ve been able to see coming, and did nothing to prevent—not even when he explicitly saw Dan meddling with the past in front of him.

How was the trio able to get behind the back of someone as knowing and powerful as Clockwork (to get the time medallions and hop into the future)? Why did he get so carelessly distracted by Danny? The only explanation is either Clockwork is actually incompetent enough to get outwitted by three (two and a half) human teenagers, or he allowed them to go.

Perhaps everyone still could’ve gone on their own, without future knowledge (not that the episode gives us any options for how that would happen—again, see part 3) but he still made everything worse.

And there’s no reason Clockwork couldn’t check Dan’s timeline ten years back and see the fusion. But he still spends the entire episode acting as if Danny and Dan are the same person. Which is factually incorrect.

We could assume he secretly knows, but just pretends not to--except his actions otherwise are still highly questionable.

He could’ve been cooperative and transparent—just used the ghosts he sent after Danny to get the trio to his tower to talk (foreseeing them hitching a ride with Skulktech), while still complying with the Observants on paper. There, he could’ve explained, “There’s an alternate future where you and the other halfa fuse into a powerful monster; he’s brought the world to ruin and the Observants put a hit on you because overkill…”

(Yeah, remember this? If he's acting, he's sure as hell getting into it for no good reason...)

But instead he tells Danny “I’ve been tasked with eliminating your future, so [Dan] doesn't happen” and acts like a threat to the trio when it would’ve been much more efficient to talk things out!

Claiming that "Danny's future is sealed" because he chose to keep the answers is just blatantly wrong, and he should know better as a guardian of time himself. And cheating on a test is too petty for someone of his scale to consider so morally significant.

2. The episode doesn’t establish/justify why Clockwork didn’t just deal with Dan himself, and spare everyone else the unnecessary strife/trauma. The entire episode can only be possible because of his negligence.

For all the ominous hype about Dan being “inevitable” and “Danny’s going to turn into him”, he really…really isn’t. He’s more so the opposite, given the circumstances are so hyperspecific. The domino effect that leads to his birth is so causally fragile that one small change could completely wipe him off the map.

(like...literally fucking ANYTHING?! It's your call, dude! I'm not the Master of Time!)

Clockwork didn’t even need to be powerful enough to win against Dan one-on-one. He could’ve interfered in Dan’s past by giving information to other characters to change their decisions (steer Lancer and the Fenton’s away from the Nasty Burger via Jazz, keep Danny away from Vlad, etc). If Dan was really that big a threat to both worlds, then he has all the moral justification (for the sake of efficiency) to do so to prevent harm!

And yet, he doesn’t. There's no explained character reason he doesn't interfere--either why he can't or why he thinks he shouldn't. To use a dominantly time-travel series as an example--Doctor Who created lore on time having special "fixed points" that can't be altered without damaging the fabric of time itself. It also had moral/character conflicts exploring the Doctor choosing not to interfere with historical disasters.

But with Clockwork, we don't even get a line. Whether it's a throwaway line on not having the power to interact with regular time directly, or about how he's already tried to prevent Dan's birth and failed (and now thing are in the last stretch). The closest we get are lines such as "things are how they're supposed be" (implying he has a standard of how events should happen), but that's just window-dressing to make him sound mysterious and impressive. There's never an explanation of what does or doesn't count.

If he really couldn’t stop The Ultimate Enemy from happening in the first place, then see point one: Openly allying with/fully informing the trio from the start is more efficient and helpful than letting them treat you like an adversary and stumble in blind. Why did Danny have to go to Vlad to learn about Dan’s origin when Clockwork was right there?!

Tons of people experience trauma (or even die) because of Clockwork’s allowance or inaction. The trio, Jazz, Danny's parents and Mr Lancer (though technically they never remember), future!Valerie and her dad. Even everyone who died because of Dan in the alternate future (because Clockwork could’ve stopped it from ever reaching that point if he tried. If I can come up with ways to prevent Dan's birth, the all-knowing Master of Time can!).

And if he had the power to undo ALL of the damage to the timeline all along (rewinding time to save Danny’s loved ones) …why does anything that happens in this episode matter, at all (outside of the memories of three people)?!

Why couldn’t he have done that when the alternate timeline went awry in the first place?!

Sure, it could be said that Danny learned something from the experience...but I doubt any lesson he could've been "taught" is morally worth the apocalyptic destruction of another timeline and forcing Danny to fight as powerful a threat as Dan unassisted.

Lessons like moral honesty had already been taught in far lower-stakes ways than TUE. Since he didn’t really “become Dan” or do anything actually evil, there was nothing specific he could’ve only learned from Dan’s existence other than "don't create a fusion with Vlad". Dan's wide-scale harm was unnecessary.

3. After sidling all of this bullshit on a fourteen year old kid, Clockwork doesn’t even make up for it properly.

If he wanted to give Danny fair “second chance”, he could’ve sent him back to before any of the time travel happened—the moment in the kitchen before Boxed Lunch attacked. This would’ve undone all the alterations to the timeline and given Danny time to study—especially since he was responsible for the ghost attacks that robbed Danny of his last study days. The boy just had several massive fights and watched his loved ones blow up!

But no. His idea of a “second chance” is dropping Danny off RIGHT before the CAT! To take the blame for Dan opening the answers! All for the purpose of a little triumphant “Danny’s learned his lesson” moment for a half-assed anti-cheating message, when Danny never even cheated! In canon, he couldn't just tell Lancer “a ghost from another timeline opened the answers”—but that wouldn’t have been necessary if Clockwork just sent him further back in time! He basically ripped Danny off.

4. Why does Clockwork even listen to the Observants? What power do they have over him? Why did he oblige their request to go after Danny in the first place?

Clockwork seems to suggest that they see time in a more limited fashion than he does—perhaps with causality in a stricter order, or one-way with less alternate possibilities (based on his parade analogy)…but we see them observing Clockwork at the time window. He essentially shares access to it, so why couldn’t Clockwork just show the Observants Dan’s origin story? That’d raise the same problem with ill-informed decision-making that I already discussed.

And the episode doesn't make it clear what power the Observants have over Clockwork, and why he has any reason to listen to them. If he was right and had the better way of doing things all along, why not just outright refuse the Observants and prove himself right to them with his results? Why entertain their irrational backseating?

[marinacourage]

unpopular opinion but i want Way to get shot while saving Babe but not die and then episode ending with Pete sitting beside Way in hospital. Man is redeemed for everything he did to babe. ( I think it won't make much sense for him to fall for Pete so fast when few days ago he was still pining for his 10 year crush. I want him to take some time. )

And season 2 , I want him to go real apeshit.

Like the way all these hate posts about him make him sound 1000 times worse than he actually is.😑 I mean I fully agree he's has done some very creepy bad villainous deeds lying, manipulating but man Tony, the actual child trafficker doesn't receive 10 % of hate of what Way recieves.😒It's sad and unfortunate but jail doesn't exist for lying and manipulation but child trafficking is serious punishable offence. I have no idea of omegaverse constitution but since Babe have super senses and haven't failed dope test of car racing, so I guess using senses for manipulation also doesn't land you in jail there. ( not my fault, talk to omegaverse lawmakers 🤷‍♀️).

But like people wishing death ending for him, judging him irredeemable, making him sound like some heinous horrible psychopathic serial killer or serial sexual crime offender. 🙃As far I remember even Vegas haven't received this amount of hate when in front of him, Way is a very tame villain. Way does deserve hate but not this much amount of biased hate. 🙂

With the kind of powers Way possess, the world could be in his control. But He manipulated his friend to come to him whenever there's a problem and kept him from having relationship ( even without Way manipulation babe couldn't be in healthy lovely relationship before Charlie because "SMELL"🤢) . I agree Way is definitely very bad person here but I mean he could have been worse. Though that definitely doesn't make him good person, there's a difference, it gives him chance of redeeming himself.

But no, since no one cares, fuck therapy and good guy image. In season 2 , Babe is out of his life ( vacationing somewhere with Charlie and kids) and Way has saved him from death once so their chapter close. Since he experienced almost death once so now it's like a new birth, new life for him, where he's seriously considering his life choices. When he looks in mirror and realises people should go to war for this face.😳 ( yes i read your previous post ) And so this time he should fully unleash his inner mean bitch, go fully unhinged while falling obsessively, possesively for Pete, where he gives no single fucks about anyone except Pete, no babe, no alan, no one else. Just Pete.

Man has been sad and cried enough for 10 yrs. Enough he has kept things in his mind and smiled fake. Now Way doesn't care about etiquettes and keeping faces but spit mean true facts straight on people faces. 😈With the powers he have everyone should be scared of him. Like I want Way to Show them how crazy in love he can be and how far he can cross the lines when he so so deeply falls for someone and that person accepts him. What it actually means when he abuses his powers fully on others with sole reason to keep them away from Pete. What it actually means when he is really possesive and obsessed and how he actually gaslit, gatekeep, girlboss. Him getting on the nerves of every single person and they could do nothing.

I'm not Way apologist, neither I have suffered second lead syndrome from him in beginning. AlanJeff are my bias but I truly enjoy Way character too. But some of the hate posts really annoys me. I don't know what he deserves or not deserves for what he did to Babe, but i really want to see him go crazy batshit for once and fully unleash his inner lunatic bitch in love potential.😌

you almost quoted me with the “getting shot by saving babe waking up in hospital with pete by his side” since that’s exactly how I see their finale and I wrote it yesterday as an answer to a post here on tumbler 😅

honestly I don’t see too much hate towards way, maybe because I’m not looking 😅 i want to believe that many people see where his obsession is coming from, the manipulator manipulated into some pathetic deeds by a more powerful force. what pushed me to empathise with him were his words that went something like “I hoped that if I do what Tony says it will be over” because I can see how a person would be so out of their mind because of constant pressure that they’ll do even violent and disgusting things if it would make it easier on them. I might be wrong of course, I might see the situation wrongly too, but those are my thoughts so far.

i actually don’t believe that way is inherently evil. for me he’s a mean girl that needs a person who will like him and love him for who he is, and not despite who he is. as of now he’s never been fully honest with anybody but pete so even if someone liked him they liked the illusion of him and not the broken sad obsessed failure of a man with gorgeous eyes he is.

I’m almost sure there will be no season 2 but in my mind way will leave racing and lean more into the customer service in the car dealership he works at if I remember correctly. use his talents in a less evil manner let’s say 😅 and ofc pete will be slowly breaking him out of his shell and prove to him that he can be loved in a very sincere way, and Pete’s love must be strong as hell. they are 100% gonna be that one couple that exists in their own world even surrounded by other people.

as for possessiveness I actually believe it would take way lots of time to realise he has the right claim pete in any way, I have a hc that when way finds out that kenta was/is in love with pete he will withdraw severely because he wouldn’t dare to compete, he’s not worthy, same old.

but when in established relationship way would certainly recover his bad bitch persona and be the legendary trophy wife pete deserves.

wow that was a long ass reply 😅 i wonder if you’re the same anon as the previous ask :)

anyways, very interesting discussion, holding out for Friday now ✊

[thedeviljudges]

ok so maybe a tl;dr kinda post. it's me just writing down my thoughts about the apartment stuff.

tagging @clawbehavior @technitango in case yall wanted an update too!!

so i technically started my apartment hunt last year when i thought i was moving, and while i did realy love two places (owned my the same company so the floor plans were the same) - mainly bc of the amount of light it had from window set up, for the amount of sq ft you got for the price, it just didn't and still doesn't make sense.

but with those in mind and also touring apartments with my friend who was planning to move in this month, there's been a lot to choose from. there's another apartment on my list that another friend lives at, but i think ultimately it's similar to the two above where the price you get for the space isn't the cheapest, especially for what i need.

which led me two the last two apartments i toured today. starting with the second one:

the price is fantastic for the space (ideally need a 2 bedroom or a 1 bed with den/study; i'm hybrid for work). the place was fine. gated and really close to a major area of shops. the biggest issue is the visitor parking - it's all at the front of the complex, and there's only about 25 spaces to which the leasing agent said they're full most of the time. i also didn't get the wow feeling with it. it was just okay. i really wish i would've loved it bc on paper, it would've been great.

but the first place we toured? it's the apartment that had a great unit for the perfect pricing that someone snatched up two days ago (that i posted about a few days ago), and i'm so upset about it because this place is perfect. that unit was a 1 bed with study, but there's no more available so my next option is a 2 bedroom. i can afford it, technically, but it also means with utilities, my car note and other expenses, i won't have much left over each month for casual spending, etc.

which isn't necessarily a bad thing. so many people are in that position right now given the economy. and this wouldn't be that expensive if i didn't have my car note - so my options are to suck it up and go for the space and just be extremely frugal for awhile - with the intention of moving my banking to a credit union and try to apply for refinancing there, which would hopefully lower my interest rate and loan payment on my car.

i'm also inclined to go for this space because i truly fell in love with it. it's exactly what i need; the community is great. it's gated and safe, and i love everything about it, and it's one of the only properties that i truly felt i could live there and enjoy it. i'm also someone that is very intuitive, and this just feels right - like deep down i think i know i won't really be that happy anywhere else. and i hate to hype it up so much bc i know i could move in and end up hating it, but i truly think this may be it?? i'm just so hesitant because of the price. i feel really stupid for even considering it because i feel like what i should be doig is being more sensible, find a smaller place and save money - especially bc if i go with the bigger unit, it also leaves me with not very much to put into savings.

i have a quote, but i've seen the prices online fluctuate, so i'm going to test my luck to see if it'll drop down to a lower rate. if someone nabs the unit before me, then i'll probably forfeit the need for a bigger space, go smaller and then see if i can move into a bigger unit the following year. i would hate to do that because i really want to separate my work from my personal space (this is a big deal for me given my last toxic work environment), and it's easier to do that with a den/study or two bedroom, but i really love the place enough to consider a year there with a smaller unit and then potentially move within the same complex. like, it will suck not having the space i want and not being able to completely remove work (my desk would either have to go in the living room or bedroom, and bc my desk is in my bedroom right now, that's also a big no. i highly do not recommend putting work where you sleep). but i think i could hold out for another year bc i think i'll just be excited to have my own space.

so that's where i'm at right now tbh. i think i'm set on the apt complex; now it's just choosing the unit.

*i should also note that if i got a 2 bedroom unit on the 2nd or 3rd floor, that would be cheaper. my ideal is the first floor bc i've lived on the first floor in my current place, and i'm so used to it. i could possibly do a 2nd floor unit since it'd be less stairs to climb, but it's also not ideal.

[iconuk01]

I've responded to this sort of post before, so if it was one of your's my apologies, but I feel that, though this is a valid statement of Jedi philosphy, it's an abominable explanation to give to a nine year old without any understanding of what they really mean, and it does support my ongoing belief that the Jedi Council were appallingly bad communicators to those who don't already share their core beliefs.

They add no context to their statements, so what they heck else is Anakin going to think except that it's his fault he's scared and that IS bad.

He was an uneducated slave until "n" days ago (where "n" is a very small number), taken from the only environment and family he's ever known by a weird space wizard and a random princess and then IMMEDIATELY plunked down in front of this presumed assembelage of the great and the good, who immediately start testing him, and are not impressed.

Within minutes they are saying to him "Welp, you're showing fear, so you're on the fast path to the Dark Side.

No one thinks to say "Fear is natural, but we can help you see beyond it, and move past it" or "I was fearful on my first day in the academy too, but here I am now, and you can be too, with our help".

YODA : Afraid are you? ANAKIN : No, sir. MACE WINDU : Afraid to give up your life? ANAKIN : I don't think so.

What the hell kind of question is that for a grown ass man to ask a lonely, scared nine year old he's never met before?

From the bit you quote:

ANAKIN : I miss her. YODA : Afraid to lose her..I think. ANAKIN : (a little angry) What's that got to do with anything? YODA : Eveything. Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering.

Yoda never explains that it's the specific "fear of losing his mother" that is the concern, not the fear itself, and Anakin has absolutely no reason to think that it's anything other than "fear is bad" because nobody tells him anything else

Not a ONE of them shows KINDNESS to the scared child, a word of understanding. They're dismissive of him as a person. They talk to him in statements, or demanding questions.

When they tell him, two scenes later, that he is not to be trained, they talk over him the entire time. They reject anything to do with him. If Qui-Gon want's to keep him around as a ward, then that's his business, but he won't be trained and they seem quite clear they don't care about anything that happens to him beyond that.

The scene after that, Obi-Wan says to Qui-Gon; "The boy is dangerous...they all sense it. Why can't you?" WHILST WITHIN EARSHOT of Anakin! And Obi-Wan is the tactful Jedi?

These are NOT people who should be in charge of a child!

Basically, if you can't explain your "peaceful co-existence and justice" seeking philosophy in a way that doesn't scare a child, then either it's a bad philosophy, or you are explaining it REALLY badly.

You know why the Jedi are right in this scene? Because it's literally how the Force works, this moment is undivorceable from the very basic worldbuilding fact that: The Force works based on their emotions. That is part of everything to do with the Force in the movies, that is the very first layer of the foundation of how it works! If they use the Force while they're afraid, that is straight up a path to the dark side, that's not just what the Jedi say, it's how Star Wars' worldbuilding functions. “Once you become afraid that somebody’s going to take it away from you or you’re gonna lose it, then you start to become angry, especially if you’re losing it, and that anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Mostly on the part of the person who’s selfish, because you spend all your time being afraid of losing everything you’ve got instead of actually living. [....] So that is ultimately the core of the whole dark side/light side of the Force.” –George Lucas Fear is the path to the dark side. It doesn't matter if the fear is justified or not, it's not necessarily a moral or value judgement, but it just is how the Force works. So, the scene in The Phantom Menace goes like this: Yoda:  "Afraid are you?" Anakin:  "No, sir." Yoda:  "See through you we can." Mace:  "Be mindful of your feelings." Ki-Adi:  "Your thoughts dwell on your mother." Anakin:  "I miss her." Yoda:  "Afraid to lose her, I think, mmm?" Anakin:  "What has that got to do with anything?" Yoda:  "Everything. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." The Jedi are repeating Lucas' explanation almost word for word in this scene, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, this isn't what the Jedi decided was how things work, it's how the Force works as decided by the guy who created the Force, they're absolutely, 100% correct about it. And that's why it's important that Anakin isn't acknowledging his fear here, that it's not that he's afraid that's the problem or what the Jedi are saying is the problem--the Jedi express emotion all across the movies! that whole "there is no emotion" thing is NOWHERE in the movies or TCW! that is something Lucas himself never put in ANY of his canon!--but that he won't even be mindful of his feelings. Being mindful isn't immediately purging them, it's acknowledging that they're there, working through them, eventually letting them go. "But it's normal for a nine year old to miss his mother! How can they say he's bad just for--" They're not saying Anakin is bad. Nobody is saying Anakin is a horrible person for missing his mother! Nobody is even saying that Anakin is a horrible person for not being mindful of his feelings! Nobody is saying that it's Anakin's fault that he doesn't have the tools for better emotional regulation! But they are saying that he's not a good fit for the Jedi. And they're right! He's not a good fit for the Jedi! Not one single Council member even so much as implies that this is any kind of judgement of Anakin as a person or that he's bad for it! They're saying he doesn't have the rock solid foundation that a Jedi needs because that's how the Force works--and they're right. Every commentary Lucas ever makes about Anakin's fall is that he didn't want to regulate his feelings, he didn't want to let go of things.

The Jedi never once say or imply that that would make Anakin a bad person or that he's a failure because he didn't magically have things he wasn't taught, but they're saying that it would make him a bad fit for being a Jedi and they can already feel--given that they're psychic space wizards who can sense others' feelings--that he doesn't really want to change. ("He's nine! You can't judge a character at that--" Girl, it's a fairy tale meant to illustrate Lucas' personal philosophies about emotional regulation via fairy tale logic, not hyperrealistic examinations of characters, come on now.)

Which doesn't make Anakin a bad person or that he's in the wrong for being scared and not having the tools to deal with it. The Jedi can say "He's not a good fit for what we need to be because of the way the Force works." and not have it be any kind of condemnation of him as a person. His later actions, once he has the training and support to know better, sure. But nobody's saying the nine year old is at fault. They're saying the nine year old doesn't have the foundation he would need, which it doesn't matter that it's not his fault, it's still quite literally how the Force works, that you need that foundation.

[cuttoothed]

So what’s the consensus on Ed’s “there’s no escape”/”there’s always an escape” switch during episode 9? 

Obviously we know why he decides to escape: he’s newly in love and has just had his affection reciprocated, and he’s excited and wants them to run away and have a life together. But what I don’t have such a good understanding of is why he told Stede there was no escape prior to that.

The basic bitch surface reading is that Ed is being kind of deceptive. He’s decided he doesn’t want to escape and is going to go with the flow, and he isn’t going to change his mind just because Stede is eager to get out of there. Now obviously he doesn’t owe Stede to help him escape, especially considering all he’s just done to save Stede’s life. But there’s a big difference between “I don’t want to escape” and “there’s no escape” to someone who you know will take you at your word when it comes to pirate-y adventure-y stuff, and I can’t help wondering if Stede ever got caught up on that thought later? The idea that Ed always knew they could escape, and lied to him about it, and would he really have let Stede spend a decade working for the British government if they hadn’t kissed on that beach?

Of course I don’t think it’s nearly as simple as Ed straight up lying to Stede because he doesn’t want to escape (because nothing about this show and these characters is that simple), but I can’t quite find a theory that explains it definitively for me. Here are my main contenders:

Ed has previously reacted to a seemingly hopeless situation by going passive, in episode 4 when he realizes it’s not a full moon. He stops trying to think his way out of the situation and resigns himself to dying. Maybe he does see this as a hopeless situation at first, especially with the shock of leaving behind his ship and his crew, and losing his beard, the symbol of his identity. Sure he expresses this as a positive when talking to Stede, but it’s still a huge, sudden shift that might have left him completely off kilter and unable to perceive any way out. His conversation and kiss with Stede galvinize him to start thinking about/hoping for the future again, and then he’s able to envision an escape plan. 

Simply, he sees this as the best way to protect Stede. Stede isn’t made for the pirate life, he’s almost died at least four times since Ed met him (once at Ed’s own hand) and seeing him in front of that firing squad terrified Ed more than he thought possible. Going to fight against the Spanish isn’t exactly a safe occupation, but it might be safer than piracy—and at least Stede won’t have the British trying to kill him. Later he gets swept up in the emotion of that moment between them, and decides that the best way to keep Stede safe is to take him all the way to China, where nobody can find them. 

Coming right off episode 8 and “I don’t like who you are”/“you were always going to realize what I am” I wonder if he was “testing” (quotes because I don’t think he was doing so knowingly) whether Stede would like this version of Ed (He folds things! He has a sort of respectable job working for the British government! No beard!) better than the rowdy, violent pirate version. And it seems Stede does like this version better, because he kisses Ed back and says that Ed makes him happy, so of course they should escape together, now that Ed knows who he’s supposed to be for Stede. (And then that version of Ed gets rejected as well ouuuuuch…)

All that said, I’m not sure I 100% buy any of these reasons, though possibly some combination of them might start to get me towards an explanation. If there are any good meta posts out there about this I would love a link, because I really want to get my head around Ed’s mindset during this episode.

[momoshin]

give in — ryujin

“where’ve you been? you reek” all of the members look up at you as yeji starts when you enter thru the door, and she’s right. you smell of sex and sweat not to mention your bra is missing, the zipper of your jacket is undone and your hair is no longer perfectly straight but tucked messily into your beanie and hood.

“just out” you breathe, you hear her hum and watch her nod into her book and everyone else resume their positions before walking to your shared room with chaeryeong to grab a change of clothes and shower, something you hadn’t been able to do in your friend’s apartment considering her roomates would be there soon.

you were ready to go to bed. so tired from all the practice and the extra curricular acfivities you had been up to today, it’s only 9 pm but your bed sounds so good right now you wouldn’t mind sleeping enough to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, even if it meant having to make breakfast for the others. sadly, your members had other plans, because chaeryeong peeks her head into the room and says a simple “meeting in yeji’s room” before leaving, the door ajar waiting for you. 

you groan and sigh and curse softly before walking out, wondering on your way there why in her room and not in the kitchen like usual, and the answer that receives you when you enter the leader’s room makes you regret slamming your room’s door when you got out. yuna’s not there, probably sleeping, and you’re in trouble, most likely.

“hey guys” you start, chuckling nervously as you sit on ryujin’s bed. “yuna’s birthday isn’t for another 11 months”

“we actually wanted to talk about you” lia starts from her spot leaning against the wall, chaeryeong on yeji’s bed, with ryujin and yeji just standing there looking at you with her arms crossed.

“uh,, sure” you try to look as calm as possible, waiting for any bombs to drop from their lips.

“who were you with, the truth this time” as expected, it’s yeji who asks, her gaze hard and intimidating as they all wait for you to respond.

“unnie i told you, out” shrugging, you roll your eyes “walking, if that helps”

“y/n, im being serious. where were you, who were you with? you were obviously doing something or someone if you didn’t tell any of us beforehand”

“since when do we announce our individual outings?” you start “all of you have gone out alone and not once have you told me where, and you don’t see me interrogate you for that”

“yeah but we don’t come home smelling of sex and looking like we were hiding from the paps” it’s chaeryeong this time, your roomate, your closest friend out of the five to throw you under the bus, and she’s no longer beside ryujin but next to yeji, her eyes also demanding answers and explanations.

“what the fuck chaer?” you sigh, rubbing your temples “yeah, i was out having sex tonight, that what you wanted to hear?”

“with who” yeji pries, arms still crossed over her chest. ryujin hasn’t spoken all this time, and lia scoffs at your answers every now and then, her arms mirroring yeji’s as she stays further back, one of her legs posted to support her on the wall.

“with a friend” you shrug again.

“just tell us who y/n” lia groans.

“im not telling you who it is!” it’s not funny, girly, gossip. it’s them furiously prying because they’re worried you getting caught might hurt the group.

“why not?” chaeryeong yells back at you

“because!” you sigh, exasperated, before getting yourself together and lowering your voice “we made a deal, i wouldn’t tell my members and neither would they”

“so it is an idol” yeji nods at your slip, as if she knew this whole time.

“oh fuck off�� falling back on the mattress, you cover your face with your hands and curse at yourself for being so stupid and letting them get to you.

“is it a sunbaenim? a woman? or a boy?”

“oh my god” you groan at lia’s persistent voice, promising yourself you would not crack this time and would stand your ground. “im not saying anything else”

“it’s not a guy” chaeryeong says, and the four of you look at her because, how the fuck does she know?

“how do you know?” yeji reads your mind.

“she just looks different. we don’t really notice if she’s been with a guy she just tells us” and she’s right, not that they know of all your sexcapades, and not that they know most of them are women, but they’ve never noticed something’s off when it’s been a guy.

“oh” lia and yeji nod slowly, taking it all in. “so, is it a sunbaenim? from twice? a soloist? trainee?”

“actually that’s gross. the fact that you think i’d fuck a trainee” just at the thought, you shudder, or maybe it’s the thought of that one time, at her group’s mention, you can’t help but remember that time you had nayeon’s legs around your head... her pus— no, there’s no time for that right now. you shake the dirty memories out of your head, and rub your legs together to release the growing tension between them, and look up at them, already thinking of how to avoid their next question.

“we’re not gonna stop until you cave” yeji shrugs

“well im not” you lift your chin proudly, crossing your arms.

“yeah, you will.” lia starts. “because if not we will tell on you with manager-nim”

“you wouldn’t” gasping, you uncross your arms.

“don’t test me” she shrugs. you knew she would, but she couldn’t know you were bluffing. “so come on. spit it out”

“unnie, im being careful!” you raise your voice a little, already upset at the fact that they wouldn’t give it a rest.

“that’s useless y/n. every single person who’s ever been caught doing something wrong has been ‘careful” yeji says, quoting the word careful with her fingers.

“loona” and like you called her name, ryujin’s head snaps up, her mind already making up a million scenarios of you fucking the few friends she had in that group. what’s worse? she enjoys every single one of them. she wishes she could’ve been there to at least watch. though she quickly vanishes them from her head when she notices your members looking at her for the same reason, her friends.

“i didn’t fuck heejin, or hyunjin” you clarify, wanting to bring them peace or at least ryujin, but only the other three slump their shoulders in relief at your confession. “but, im not telling you who i did.” letting your hands fall on your thighs, you get up and closer to the door. “goodnight”

“where are you going? we’re not done” she catches your wrist before you can swing the door open, pulling you back to where you were before, in front of her and a little bit closer to ryujin.

“are you kidding me?” you scoff at yeji. “none of you wanted to fuck me, so i went out and found someone who did, it was good so i kept going back. you’ve never noticed until today and if you didn’t no one else did. im good at what im doing. hell! i’ve fucked half the people in this industry and none of you knew until i just said it!! leave me alone”

but before you can actually turn around and leave, ryujin quickly stands up, surprising all five of you when she smashes her lips against yours. one hand on your hair and one on your ass, squeezing expertly. the other three are just in shock as you are, but she tastes so good and her hands feel good against you, even when she sneaks one up your tshirt to rub at your already hardened nipples because of the cold, and you try to hold it but you can’t, eventually moaning and melting in her hold, that was rough and heavy but in a good way, making you wrap your arms around her neck.

“guys- what the fuck-“

“get out” ryujin groans against your lips, her hands tightening on your ass and tits, lips no longer on yours but so close that if you leaned just a little bit you could taste them again, you’re shameless really, and tomorrow you’ll probably hide from them all because you don’t think twice about your members in the room before joining your lips with hers again in another wet, hot kiss.

“ryujin that’s not a good-“

“she said she wanted to be fucked. so i will. get out” the words are barely mumbled, because she’s too busy getting back to your lips to care if they understand, because she’s too eager as she puts the other hand inside your pijama shorts feeling the lack of underwear and then your wet folds, throwing her head back and breaking your kiss to groan at the feeling. “fuck— leave”

you don’t expect them to actually, and you don’t really notice, you’re too preoccupied with the feeling of the pads of her fingers on your clit slowly making circles to notice, and its only when you hear a loud scoff and the door slightly slam closed that you realized they did leave– after all, if the door slam woke yuna up they probably would find a way to distract her from going in the room.

“was it good? hm? was she good?” you gasp, because she’s roughly turned you around to press her front against your back, her hand wrapping around your neck before the other goes back into your shorts, her fingers too slow for your liking as they dip in to gather some of your slick to spread around your lips and clit. “i asked you a question”

throwing your head against her shoulder, you bite your lip before taking a deep breath to answer, letting out a much too soft “yea” to her question

“do you think she could be better than me?”

“i dunno, you’ve never touched me” rolling your eyes, you turn your head to look at her now that her hand has stopped moving.

“is that what we’re saying now?-“

“we were trainees ryu. you said it was a mistake” you sigh, already thinking this was not going where you thought it was “are you going to touch me or should i go get myself off?”

“hm” she chuckles, kissing your cheek dangerously soft with her grip on your neck and jaw tightening slightly. “you’re never going back to her after im done with you.”

“i hope that’s a promise you keep”

“shut up” her voice is rougher, not sweet and playful like usual, just rough. “bend over the bed.”

you do as told, wanting to get back on her good side. it’s quite a sight, watching your shorts ride up enough for her to see your asscheeks falling out of them. she’s too comfortable, for a ‘first time’ but at this point, neither of you care, you want her, you have for a very long time, you’re too desperate to go over basics. you’re so desperate, that just her fingers running from the back of your thigh to your asscheek makes you shiver and gives you goosebumps.

“you’re dripping” she points out the obvious. “i can see it through your shorts.”

“so touch me ryujinnie, please” you’re backing up into her hand, begging for something, anything at this point.

she hums, finally pulling your shorts off your legs, immediately salivating at the sight of your pussy glistening, clit swollen at the lack of attention. “look at you, what do you want?”

“you, please” she chuckles after that, and you wonder if she even heard you with how small your voice had turned.

“are these hers?” she asks, hands pressing against recent hand prints on your ass, making your hips buck forward, startled.

“yeah” you sigh, wanting her to go over them at least once. “didn’t hit me hard enough”

“can i try?”

“please” that’s all it takes. she rubs circles on one of your asscheeks before her hand raises and falls with a heavinly burn against your skin, eliciting a louder whimper out of you. every spank leaves a sting more enjoyable than the last, and you’re soon backing your ass up against her hand for more.

“what do you say?” she holds her hand at a safe distance from your ass, waiting for you to answer correctly before slapping the red skin

“t-thank you” a gasp is what you let out when she strikes her hand against your ass once again.

“good girl” she smiles, full of pride. “now turn around and spread your legs for me”

you stumble across pillows on the bed and such, too eager to be careful right now, and position yourself on your back, legs wide open for her with a hand going down to spread your wetness around your lips

“don’t do that” she slaps your hand away, getting on her knees to be face to face with your pussy. she only spits on it, as if you needed more lubrication, spreading it with two of her fingers, too slow for your liking.

she watches the way you sigh and whimper whenever she grazes against your clit or hole, the way you lift your head from her pillow and plead with your eyes for her to give you what you wanted. and her standing up to retrieve a pretty pink dildo from her drawer wasn’t what you expected, not that you didn’t want it. the black straps only surprise you more, and the sight of her tightening the straps and positioning the toy where she wanted it was making your wetness grow tenfold.

she rests the tip of it and taps it against your clit repeatedly, only making you sigh in between relief and want, your eyes sparkling and lashes fanning pretty to lure her into finally fucking you like she had promised. the look on both your faces as she slowly pushes in is priceless, you’re too overwhelmed to react and she’s too turned on, salivating at the way your lips swallow the pink toy slowly and fully. “next time, you come to me” she grunts, hand squishing your cheeks together while the other squeezes your side, her hips starting to slowly thrust in and out, pulling out entirely just to fill you to the brim with the plastick cock “no more sneaking out and worrying us sick just to find out some other girl has been fucking this pretty pussy, yeah?”

“mhm” your eyes are shut tight, your mouth wide open, you’re probably even drooling, her lips around your nipple suckling and her teeth digging into your skin in a delicious pain that has you gasping and pushing your chest further into her mouth, hands wrapping around her neck, and you whine when she inevitably pulls away

“good” she hums, tongue running over her lips as she fucks you...”gonna fuck you stupid baby” and her hips speed up, she’s intimidating in some way and it’s so fucking hot, the way she looks down on you, smirking because she knows she has you eating from her hand. she takes her time, speeding and slowing the thrusts of her hips, playing with your clit and sensitive nipples, teasing you when at the edge of your orgasm, edging you over and over again because she liked to see you suffer. “should i let you cum?”

“p-please.” your voice is so soft, so whiny, and she adores it, the fact that it’s all because of her.

“i dunno, it’s not like you earned it” her strokes are so slow, yet so hard. she tickles your g-spot with the tip of the toy every time, it feels good, but you want more

“i’ll make u-up for it. please just let m-me cum”

“you gonna go back to her??”

“n-no. never-r” your voice is broken, and you hope it expresses how much you need to cum right now. and if you were to take a guess by the way she’s speeding up, torturing your clit as well. it did. the sounds of skin slapping soon floods the room and the air reeks once again of sex and sweat. it’s hot, but you’re for some reason shaking, maybe it’s the approaching orgasm, and how it’s so much stronger because of her edging you, making you shake and whine, hands on her abs as if pushing her away to prevent her from keep fucking you through your orgasm.

she’s chuckling, kissing your temple and cheek, nose and lower until she reaches your lips, catching all your breathy moans and whimpers as you finally calmed down. ryujin pulls out carefully, finally pressing a cheeky kiss to your clit that makes your body jolt and stutter..

[katy-kt-katie]

Truth Serum Chapter 2

Skinner needs Mulder and Scully to test a truth serum post "Fight the Future," what could go wrong?

Rated: Explicit

Read COMPLETED FULL STORY now on AO3: LINK or chapters posted here daily.

Mulder stopped by his house, changed into some basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and got an overnight bag. He secured a bag of tacos and found himself at Scully’s door. He knocked twice and she answered with a smile, looking adorable in sweatpants and a light purple tank top.

Damn and I have to play truth games with her all night looking like that, he thought smiling like an idiot as she waved him inside.

“So, here is the serum,” she said, holding two vials of liquid up for him to see. “Should we just drink it, or did you want to eat first?”

“You tell me, doc,” as if it wouldn’t be hard enough to take a truth serum with his partner of five plus years, doing this in her apartment while she was dressed so casually felt incredibly intimate. But she seemed very comfortable, and her relaxed affect eased his mood too.

“Let me have a taco and then I’ll drink it. I’m so hungry and it smells so good,” she giggled, grabbing into the bag. He loved that she wasn’t ever afraid to eat in front of him like so many women he’d spent time with previously.

The tacos hit the spot, they were crunchy, hot, and delicious. As Mulder bit into his, some of the greasy taco meat shot out dribbled down his chin and landed on his Knicks t-shirt.

“Damn,” he chuckled and before he could do anything about it, Scully had grabbed a napkin and was tenderly wiping at the corner of his mouth.

“Mulder, let me put your shirt in the washer so the grease doesn’t stain it.”

He appreciated her concern but grew worried realizing he’d brought his dopp kit and his Navajo blanket but not an extra shirt.

“I don’t have an extra shirt, Scully.” He said, tentatively.

“Oh,” she paused for a moment, he caught her eyes on his chest, “It’s fine, I’ve seen it all before, Mulder.”

She had; they’d seen each other naked during cases, but the thought of hanging around her apartment sans shirt was a whole new concept. Nonetheless, if she was okay with it, he was too.  He pulled his shirt over his head and handed it to her with a smile. He thought he caught her blushing as she turned to head towards her washing machine.

She returned a moment later, “All set,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” he grinned back. Taking this truth serum tonight could go really well or horribly wrong, he thought as he stared into her blue eyes. There is so much he wanted to know and so much he was terrified to share.

She discarded their taco mess and held the vials up again. “Mulder…” she started to say, and he could tell she was collecting her thoughts. “…I just want to say, no matter what happens tonight with this ‘truth serum’” she did air quotes to demonstrate her questioning whether this would actually do anything at all, “I promise it won’t change how I feel about our partnership…about you.”

She was staring at her bare feet a bit nervously; she looked beautiful, and he thought how he may be in love with her, at this very moment. “Scully me too, I trust you…us…together. This will be fine.  No secrets, right?” he said nervously, realizing immediately how stupid it was to refer back to their game of chicken from earlier, but it felt right in the moment like some kind of odd camaraderie.

They moved to her couch and sat at opposing corners, each with one knee propped up to face each other.

“Okay well…” she handed him a vial, “bottoms up.”

He took the truth serum like a shot of whisky, and it burned a bit just the same. “9:02, Scully. We should probably make a note of that; note when we took it and when or if it takes effect, and when or if it wears off.”

“Already on it Mulder,” she giggled as she held up a sheet with columns and times she’d prepared.

“Of course, you are,” he chuckled.

“I think we should start to ask each other to disclose our ‘Skinner secret’ once every minute? Until something happens,” she suggested.

“What’s your Skinner secret, Scully?” he said. She shook her head no.

It seemed like this serum might not actually work; both of them easily resisting their tell. But after just seven minutes, after she’d vehemently denied the serum having any effect just the previous time he’d asked, Scully let the cat out of the bag.

“What’s your Skinner secret, Scully?” he’d said at minute seven.

“Skinner had a pony named Buttercup as a kid,” as she said it her hand flew to her mouth to cover the secret. Clearly some part of her brain knew she should resist, but another part forced the secret to tumble right out of her mouth. “Oh my God! It’s like I had no control whatsoever of that thought coming out,” she exclaimed.

Mulder was amused at how cute she looked, embarrassed that she couldn’t hold this secret in any longer.  

“Ask me then,” Mulder said.

“What’s you Skinner secret, Mulder?” He shook his head no. The serum wasn’t affecting him.

“Maybe it only works on women,” Mulder wondered.

Three minutes later, Scully barely had to ask him; mid question his answer spewed out of his mouth like a volcano erupting, “Skinner took tap dancing classes in college. Remind me- we need to make him show us some moves,” like a mirror to Scully’s earlier reaction, his hand also shot up to cover his mouth.

“Oh shit, Scully. You are right, I had no control over that, you asked, and I couldn’t keep from answering, and honestly couldn’t even get control of how I said it, it was like my inner monologue just came out,” he shook his head. “I wonder why it took longer to work on me.”

“Probably has something to do with metabolism or body weight,” she said, scientist Scully coming in full effect. While this version of her sometimes shot down his ideas, he couldn’t help but admit to himself how cute she was when she turned into a lab rat. “So, on average 8.5 minutes,” she continued, “Let’s try to determine a little more about how it works.” He nodded and she continued her scientific examination. “I wonder if you need to be asked a question directly or if the serum can just make you blurt something out that you don’t want to say?”

“Well, why don’t we each think of something we really don’t want to tell each other and see if we can just stare at each other and make it come out,” Mulder suggested.

“Okay,” she said. He thought about what he would be embarrassed to tell her; so many things , he thought. But he landed on how he’d secretly placed tracking devices on her phone and in her purse once she had been returned from her abduction.

Scully nodded at him, indicating she’d thought of something.  They stared at each other intensely, trying to see if the secret would jump out of their mouths. But nothing happened.

“I’m sticking with my theory that a question needs to be asked. So, what are you thinking about that you don’t want me to know Mulder?”

Just as Mulder felt himself willing the secret to stay within him, he caught his mouth moving and the words already coming out, “Scully I’ve been low jacking you since after your abduction. The Gunmen helped me place tracking devices in your cell phone and the lining of your purse. I can find where you are at any time. I should have told you, but I thought you’d say no and it’s only because I worry about you so much.” He paused and cringed. “Are you mad?”

She gasped, “Mulder! I should be. That’s so invasive. But Mulder that’s so incredibly sweet…no invasive!” Mulder had asked her if she was mad, and it was clear the truth serum was battling her thoughts for the right answer.

“I’m sorry Scully, truly, but I feel like it’s the right thing to do, to keep you safe.”

“How often do you check on my location, Mulder?”

“I only do if I’m worried you are in danger,” his answer, “or if I’m bored and thinking of you,” the truth serum’s answer. “Shit, I’m sorry Scully,” he said, hanging his head.

“It’s okay Mulder. I think we should try not to get mad at each other while this thing is still in effect.”

“Okay, Scully.” He was distracted, feeling bad and almost forgot he could ask her what she didn’t want to tell him. “Scully, what were you thinking about that you didn't want me to know?”

“Mulder, I don’t think your mom treats you well. Actually she is just mean. My mom loves you so much, she asks me if we are getting married everytime I talk to her.”

His eyes felt like they were bulging out of his head in surprise. “She asks about us getting married? That’s kind of cute,” he laughed. “But I’m surprised she’d jump to that since we aren’t even together . Is that something you’ve talked to her about or thought about Scully?” Mulder asked, shocked.

“I guess I’ve thought about it…maybe someday. Shit, Mulder, you asked me a question back. I can’t help it. Has the thought ever crossed your mind?”

He felt an unintelligible babble leave his lips as he struggled to fight what was coming out of his mouth, “Yeah, Scully it has. You are my best friend, and we are single. Maybe someday,” he smiled awkwardly and shrugged.

“Wow,” she said.

“Yeah. Wow,” he agreed. That they both thought about being married someday, implied that they both thought they’d eventually end up in a relationship and he was mind blown.

She smiled and paused for a beat, ignoring the awkwardness by returning to the lab rat version of herself, “So I guess we know a question needs to be asked to prompt the sharing, but once asked, we have no control over spewing out our thoughts, and no regard for how they are shared either; it comes out a little raw. The only other thing we don’t know is how long it lasts.”

He nodded and they sat in silence for a while, stealing glances at each other. Skinner had told them the effect could last for hours and the experiment part of this little mission was just about complete after less than twenty minutes.

“So, what should we do now, Dr. Scully?” Mulder teased.

“I want to ask you all the things I’ve always wanted to know, but couldn’t ask,” Scully smirked, he could tell that was the serum talking, she hadn’t wanted to say that thought out loud. He chuckled.

“That sounds horrifying, Scully. Are there things you really want to know?” He replied.

“Yes! Aren’t there things you want to know, Mulder?”

He shook his head no while his mouth said, “There are things I really, really want to know.” He had no control over his response to her request.

She was staring at him hard. He wondered what she was thinking. He could just ask, but he chose another question that had been plaguing him for weeks.

“Scully, did you see the spaceship in Antarctica? Do you believe in aliens now?”

“Of course I did, and of course I do, Mulder!” Her eyes shot wide.

Mulder jumped off the couch and pumped his first in the air, “HA! I knew it. Why are you always denying it?”

“Because the science doesn’t make sense. But aliens are real, you are right,” she said, burying her face in her palm in embarrassment. 

“Scully, this is a breakthrough; we can go to Roswell together or Area 51, and you can help me break down the physics of spaceships…”

“Mulder, sit!” she yelled. “I admit to what I saw, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I am not joining MUFON!”

“Okay, Scully.” he said, grinning like the cat that got the canary as he reclaimed his side of the couch. I knew she saw the spaceship!

He saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath. Without even opening her eyes and without warning, she fired a question back at him.

“What’s the nature of your relationship with Diana Fowley?”

“Colleagues. Just colleagues. We used to date and work together. Don’t worry about her Scully. She’s nothing compared to you.” 

She was quiet for a beat. Mulder didn’t feel reluctant to answer questions for her at the moment; he didn’t feel the answer about Diana struggle to come out; it was the truth, and he wasn’t ashamed to say it. Apparently, Scully had been reluctant to ask. “Scully, Is that all you want to ask me?”

“Mulder this seems dangerous,” she giggled at her own apparent mischievousness. “But I don’t want to stop asking you questions. Should we take a break? Physically separate from each other so we don’t say something we regret?”

“Scully, no,” he whined. “I don’t like to be apart from you, it makes me sad. That’s why I call you so much.” Fuck, the serum has me acting like a sad puppy , he thought.

He saw her immediately blush; he was sure he was blushing too. She scooted toward the middle of the couch and touched his shoulder, seeming to calm his embarrassment.

He took a deep breath and focused on her. “Okay. Maybe one more question each for now, Mulder I’ve been wondering,” she leaned her shoulder against his, giving him a playful little bump as she asked, “All you said to me in the hallway, how I kept you honest, made you a whole person. Did you mean that or was that just an attempt to have me stay?”

“Oh Scully, I meant every word,” he sighed. “I’m sorry that you had to ask me that while I’m taking truth serum. I guess I’m not so good at sharing my feelings sometimes. You are the best, most incredible partner.” He stared into her ocean blue eyes, “I love you.” 

Mulder closed his eyes, not wanting to see the reaction on her face. He knew she’d assume he meant platonic love and that’s probably for the best.  Hopefully she wouldn’t ask him what he meant by saying he loved her, because if she did, he’s sure the serum would have him saying something ridiculous like I’m so in love with you I can’t concentrate sometimes .

He heard her sniffle a bit and opened his eyes, finding her softly crying, overcome with emotion. He wrapped his arms around her, and she hugged back into his bare chest.

After a beat, Mulder realized he still had a turn. He realized he might cross a line by asking this, but he couldn’t help himself, especially while her face was pressed into his chest. He couldn’t stop thinking about how close they had gotten to a shift in their relationship. “Scully,” he whispered into ear, “what if you weren’t stung by the bee? What would have happened in the hallway?”

“I would have kissed you until we were out of breath, and then I think we might have had sex.” He realized she had closed her eyes in embarrassment, but the truth kept coming out, “God, I wanted to. I love sex but I can’t imagine doing it with anyone other than you, so I’ve been a little lonely for years.” She gasped and nuzzled her head deeper into his chest. “Mulder this is so embarrassing, that’s probably not what you were thinking in the hallway, was it?” she whined.

“Are you crazy, Scully? I imagined you being reassigned and how I’d never kissed you or gotten to show you how much I need you; how badly I wanted to make you come.” 

She giggled against his chest, “I guess I’m not crazy, because I thought about how good you would look naked and aroused. You look so hot right now with your shirt off. Are you even attracted to me, Mulder?” she pulled her face back to find his and winced in embarrassment.

“Scully, you are so hot. I don’t even watch my tapes anymore, I just think of you, your perfect little ass, and your perky breasts. God Scully, I’m so sorry for being so blunt…it’s the serum. Do you think I’m an asshole?” Mulder rolled his eyes, betrayed by his own mouth.

She hugged him, consoling, but her sweet gesture was a contradiction to what the truth serum forced her to say, “Mulder you aren’t an asshole. You sound like a healthy man, with a good sexual appetite and a big dick too, I just wonder if I’ll ever get to see it aroused?” she slammed her head back against the couch, incredulous.

“I want to show it to you, Scully. I want to feel you. I bet your pussy is so tight and warm. Don’t you think about it…us?” He growled, his erection growing by the second. 

“Yes, but aren’t you scared, Mulder? What if having sex messes up our partnership?” That was some truth coming out of her, for sure , he thought.

“I’m scared too,” he said, as he tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear so he could see her face still mostly buried in his chest. “But I can’t imagine being with anyone else and I’m so lonely sometimes, please can we try? I’m begging,” he growled in frustration, “Fuck this truth serum is making me sound pathetic.”

She pushed herself away from him, not in anger but in desperation. “I want to kiss you, but we can’t,” she started marching towards her bedroom and appeared to him like a person being physically pulled somehow forward and backward at the same time. She struggled but made it to her doorway. “Let’s separate for thirty minutes and then we will see how things are. I really want to jump in your lap and ride you, but it will be for the best if we separate, okay?”

Mulder stood from where he was watching her on the couch. “Scully, you want to ride me? Come back, don’t leave. Are you mad at me?” he said, sounding like a little kid who was having his toy taken away.

“FUCK!” she exclaimed. “We are fine, I’m not mad. We have to stop asking each other questions! I’ll come out in a bit,” she said as she slammed her bedroom door.

Mulder laid back on the couch; a full gamut of confusing emotions running through his head. He was so embarrassed for confessing how badly he wanted her, but she wanted him just as much. Despite that realization coming to surface, he remained completely unsure about what might actually happen with them. The truth serum was forcing confessions but forcing them in an awkward and overly blunt way. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind when he heard her door creak open.

“Mulder,” she whispered.

“Yeah, Scully. What’s on your mind?”

“Come in here so we can talk; so we can have sex.”

He looked up in time to see her hand fly over her mouth again, embarrassed. She motioned for him to join her in her bedroom, and he did.

He sat on the side of the bed and looked at her, she was standing several feet away, looking a bit guarded.

“Mulder, why haven’t you told me how you felt before?”

“I was scared it would ruin things and I didn’t think you felt the same way. Scully, why haven’t you told me what you wanted?”

“I really didn’t think you felt the same way, in fact I thought you were sleeping with Diana again. You are positive nothing’s happening with her, Mulder?”

“No. I could fuck her though, she’d let me in a heartbeat,” he winced, the serum still had the controls. “But I just want you. I want you so much.”

Scully smiled and took a step toward him but put her arm out to prevent him from grabbing her, she wasn’t finished talking, “Here’s how I see it Mulder, we are both interested in exploring a physical relationship. The truth serum has brought that to life, but it isn’t affecting our judgment. I feel well with in my abilities to consent to sex, in fact, the truth serum will actually force us to give full and truthful consent if we just ask each other.”

“Okay Scully, do you want to have sex with me tonight?”

“I want to have sex with you right now more than anything. You are so hot, it’s so distracting, sometimes I think it would help me focus better at work if we were doing it,” she mused. “What about you, Mulder, do you want to have sex with me tonight?”

Mulder grinned, bigger than he’d grinned in years. “Scully, the answer Is yes. I want to give you pleasure; I want to explore all of you…can we?” he reached for her, and she stepped closer allowing him to graze her hip with his knuckles.

“Okay, one thing though,” she paused. “We need to avoid asking each other anything else, the truth serum might make it awkward, like imagine you stick it in and ask me how it feels, and it hurts because…you are big.”

He chuckled. He was big and he didn’t have any issues with that bit of truth.

She shook her head again so embarrassed, “And normally maybe I’d just work through it, but if you ask me how I feel, I’d probably say ‘it hurts’, I don’t want to mess up our first time with those kind of awkward truths. Can we just stay quiet?”

“Quiet sex…I’ll try. I know you’ve noticed over the last five years I don’t shut up much. Can I kiss you now?”

She laughed at his bluntness, realizing he was still forced into the truth too. “You have to kiss me now, or I feel like I might hyperventilate,” she said.

Truth Serum Experiment

Skinner needs Mulder and Scully to test a truth serum post "Fight The Future", what could go wrong?

Rated: Explicit

Read COMPLETE FULL STORY on AO3: Link, or chapters here daily.

Betas: ❤️❤️ @tofuttim and @agent-troi ❤️❤️

CHAPTER 1/4

“Please take a seat, Agents,” Skinner said motioning to their customary seats across from his desk.

Mulder nodded at Skinner and snuck a glance at Scully. They didn’t know why their boss wanted to talk to them. They’d been on thin ice lately; ice being the operative word to describe their chaotic summer which included a trip to Antarctica to save Scully from an alien virus.

The talk amongst the Chief Directors had shifted away from Scully being transferred, but decisions about their roles and the X-Files remained unresolved.

“The Bureau needs your help with something kind of delicate ,” Skinner said, the last few words in a whisper.

“Anything, sir,” Scully replied, immediately. While Mulder usually admonished her willingness to take orders blindly, he was actually in alignment here, being asked to do anything at this point was better than being completely ignored like they had been in recent weeks.

“How can we help sir?” Mulder added, to show his support.

“Well, there is a chemical weapon. Defense has gotten their hands on it, they won’t disclose how or from where, but it’s designed to act as a sort of truth serum. Supposedly, when administered, you can get someone to tell you anything; they cannot withhold the truth.”

Mulder nodded and glanced at Scully as she nodded too. “Okay, why involve us?” He questioned.

“Defense wants to have someone try it, see if it really works as well as they’ve been told. The trouble is, everyone is reluctant to try it for fear that they will overshare or embarrass themselves.  I was asked to consider if we had any partners at the FBI who could try this. You two make the most sense, for one, Scully is a doctor so she can monitor if there are any concerning physical effects.

“Sure, I could do that. Do they believe there are any dangerous side effects?” Scully wondered.

“No, they don’t,” Skinner replied. “And the second reason Agents; I know you two have no secrets from each other. So, you shouldn’t have to worry about oversharing or embarrassing yourselves. You two are the closest partners I’ve ever supervised; you know each other better than anyone else.”

The room fell silent for a moment. Mulder didn’t have any little secrets from Scully. She knew about his porn collection, she knew his shitting schedule, she’d even seen him naked during medical emergencies.  But he did have some big secrets; like how he was falling for her, how he never watched porn anymore because he spent most nights thinking of her.

He looked at Scully to try to get a sense of what she was thinking. She smiled, but Mulder quickly realized it was a fake smile.

Skinner broke the silence, “You two don’t have any secrets from each other, right?”

Mulder didn’t want to admit to Scully that he had thoughts so embarrassing that he kept them from her. He was certain she had the same concerns; he knew she guarded herself from him.

It was like a game of chicken, who would admit first that this potential situation made them uncomfortable? Who would admit they had secrets? Not me , Mulder thought.  He’d seen Scully interrogate witnesses and he did not want to endure questions about what secrets he was unwilling to disclose.

Scully must have been thinking the same thing, because almost in unison, like two perfectly matched secret harboring partners they both said, “No sir, no secrets.”

“Great,” Skinner said, seemingly relieved. “Here’s the suggestion, you two lock yourselves into one of your apartments. We can’t have you wandering around and risk someone asking you something about FBI business and you blurting out confidential information. Take the phone off the hook too. They don’t know how long the effect may last, but it is temporary. You may be tired after too, so you should plan to be locked up together for a full day or overnight.”

Mulder turned to see Scully nodding with her mouth ajar. She looked overwhelmed.

“I’ll tell you each an inane secret separately; once the truth serum kicks in, the other can interrogate and see if the secret is revealed. We will not only want to know if it really forces you to tell the truth but also how difficult it is to get the truth out.”

“Okay sir,” Scully said, meekly.

“However, we can help,” Mulder said, matching her tone.

“Agents…can you do it tonight? This is kind of time sensitive. Sorry it’s a Friday, hope you don’t have plans.”

Mulder saw Scully nodding, “Yes sir, we can do it tonight,” Mulder said. His only Friday night plans lately had been hoping to get Scully over to watch a movie.

“Great, I’ll get the serum from DOD and you two can get it from me at the end of the day. Thank you for doing this, it should go a long way in pleasing the brass.”

“Okay, thanks sir,” Scully said meekly, before standing up and heading out of Skinner’s office.

Mulder followed behind her. They stepped into the elevator and found themselves alone. “Scully, you seemed a little worried in there. Are you sure you want to do this? We can say no.”

“Mulder it’s fine. I have no secrets from you whatsoever,” she said directly, the game of chicken continuing. Neither wanted to admit they harbored hidden truths.

“Right. Me neither. Open book for you, Scully,” he teased.

“Let’s plan to do it at my place after work, since I have a bed and a couch.”

“Okay, Scully, sounds good.” Mulder said, feigning confidence.

They sat in near silence the rest of the day, shuffling through paperwork. They weren’t allowed to take any new cases until decisions were formally made about the future of the X-Files, but that didn’t stop the bosses from burying them in expense reports and case summaries. They were separately called by Skinner and told their ‘secret’ for the purpose of their mission.

Mulder kept catching Scully with dazed expressions. He wondered if she was lost in thought, considering the same things he was. He had a million secrets from Scully, and they were secrets for a reason. They were either incredibly embarrassing or about her.

As the morning grew into the afternoon, he couldn’t help but focus on the secrets he’d be most embarrassed to share with Scully, sometimes I’m so lonely I call a phone sex hotline just to talk to someone ; and the secrets he is most nervous to disclose because they are about her, I think I’ve been in love with you for a while and I don’t know what to do about it.

Near the end of the afternoon, Arlene had called to tell them the serum was ready to be picked up. Scully agreed to go retrieve it, and Mulder was going to grab his overnight bag and pick up food for dinner.

As she stood to leave, she turned to Mulder and sighed. “Okay, well…I’ll see you in a little bit then.”

“Okay, I’ll be over shortly. Don’t start without me,” he teased, trying, and failing to break the tension as she left their office.

[red-jaebyrd]

Good Talk, Headmaster

This fic is based on this post by @nightwingthebooty. Thanks for the inspiration

There was an awkward silence that hovered over the three occupants in the spacious office of the headmaster of West-Reeve Academy. Bruce could feel a tension headache starting to rise behind his left eye radiating to his left temple. The person responsible for said tension headache was sitting the a chair right next to him with graceful aloofness.

“What are you doing here?” Bruce asked, through gritted teeth.

“Excuse me, I can’t have an interest in my son’s ‘education’?” Talia answered, making air quotes as she said the last word.

“You’ve never shown an interest in anything regarding our son,” Bruce retorted. “Why start now?”

“I do when certain decisions interfere with my child’s wellbeing.”

“Since when?” Bruce challenged, turning in his seat to face Talia.

“Since now. Honestly, Bruce, this is the best you’ve decided for our son?” Talia argued, gesturing toward the Headmaster. “This mediocre institution is stifling our son’s potential.”

“Ms al Ghul, if I may interject. This is the best private institution in the East Coast; and Damian is excelling in all subjects,” Headmaster Adams said, gesturing at the open file in front of him.”

“If that is the case then why are we here?” Talia sneered, tilting her head.

“It is a matter of your son’s behavior and actions toward other teachers and fellow students.” Headmaster Adams said, squirming under Talia’s glare.

“What happened?” Bruce asked, fighting hard not to sag his shoulders in defeat.

“Numerous times Damian has interrupted a professor mid lecture to argue and inform the teacher that and I quote…” Adams paused to direct his attention to the sheet of paper and read from it. “…your inaptitude to accurately teach the true events of this particular moment in history is a direct reflection of the limits of your mediocre and outdated education.”

“He said this to a teacher?” Bruce asked, sitting straighter in his chair. Bruce was taken aback by this new information. They had discussed on many occasions that challenging the professor was acceptable. Insulting the professor was not.

“That is correct, Mr Wayne. Damian made him cry. Took a whole day to get Professor Axel out of his office.”

“Was Damian, at the very least, correct in his assessment of the subject matter being discussed?”

“Talia, that’s not the point,” Bruce countered, placing his hand on his head in exasperation. He took a breath and addressed the Headmaster. “I will discuss this matter with Damian –“

“Why should you? There is nothing to discuss if Damian was correct. He was taught by the best tutors money could buy when he lived with me.”

“That’s the problem, Talia. He never should have been living with you in the first place,” Bruce retorted.

“I’ll have you know that while he was living with me, he was –“

Headmaster Adams loudly cleared his throat.

“If we may continue, there is also the matter of Damian’s interaction with other students,” Adams continued, clasping his hands together.

“Oh boy,” Bruce muttered, scrubbing his face harshly. “Whose nose did he break this time?”

“No, no. Mr Jefferies has steered clear of Damian since their altercation on the grounds at the start of term. No one will even come near Damian now, except the Kent boy, but he talks to everyone,” Adams cleared his throat again. “Anyway, regarding Damian, he’s quite protective of the younger students and he also helps many of the other students with their homework.”

“Where is the concern?” Talia asked, crossing her arms.

“We also discovered that Damian was helping a number of our high school students with their homework. Some had him help them with college entrance exams.”

“And by ‘helping’ do you mean providing them with the answers and doing their homework?” Bruce questioned, slowly starting to sag in his chair.

“No, nothing like that; he was charging a fee for his services. A very sizable fee if I’m being honest.”

“As he should,” Talia remarked, sitting back and gazing at her nails. “Considering the staff you have employed here your students need all the help they can get.”

“Talia, you’re not helping,” Bruce hissed, leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees.

“He even drummed up a contract,” Adams said, producing a piece of paper and handing it to Bruce. “By the looks of it he had it notarized.”

“As he should,” Talia remarked, pulling out a glass file from her purse and filing her nails. “My son is not an idiot.”

“So he wasn’t cheating, just tutoring and essentially helping older students prepare for college tests,” Bruce inquired, handing the contract back to the professor.

“Yes, but we can’t have him charging money for those kinds of services,” Adams reiterated, folding his hands in front of him.

“Why not? These students’ parents would likely pay for the same services to an outsider. How convenient for these students to find someone ‘in house’,” Talia challenged, taking the contract from the desk and looking it over. “T-T, you are worth so much more than this, my son.”

Bruce snatched the paper back from Talia and placed it back onto the professor’s desk. He didn’t want to admit it. Fuck he hated that he agreed with every single word she just said. The worst part was having to admit it out loud that Talia al Ghul was finally right about a matter concerning their son.

“She’s right, Professor,” Bruce said, sitting up straighter in his chair. “Damian wasn’t cheating or breaking any laws or school policies. He was providing a service to students to help better their education. Are any of the parents complaining?

“No.”

“Are any of the students complaining?” Bruce asked.

“No.”

“Then we are done here,” Talia declared, picking up her handbag and standing up.

“We are not done here, Ms al Ghul,” Adams squeaked, straightening himself in his chair. “The issue at hand –“

Talia set her handbag down on the chair and walked closer to the desk. Holding her glass file in her hand as she addressed the Headmaster.

“Do you know who I am, Headmaster?” Talia inquired in a low tone, reaching over the desk and closing the open file on Damian.

The Headmaster glanced at Bruce, but Bruce kept his face neutral, sat back in his chair and got comfortable. The Headmaster swallowed thickly and nodded in response to Talia’s question.

“The only issue I see here are the fragile egos of second-rate teachers at an overrated institution,” Talia continued, keeping the tone of her voice low. Bruce was familiar with the tactic. Talia used it to intimidate executives in business deals. 

Talia moved back toward the chair and sat down. Depositing her handbag on the floor. 

“There was a lack and my son saw an opportunity to fill a need. Plain and simple,” Talia reiterated, continuing to file her nails. “If it makes you feel any better I will have him redistribute the money back into the school so that you may invest in better resources to help your students flourish. Does this arrangement suffice?” 

The Headmaster was speechless. His mouth kept flapping open and closed like a fish out of water. He kept glancing at Bruce, but Bruce wasn’t going to ruin this moment for Talia. She didn’t need him to interject one bit.

“Good talk, Headmaster,” Talia ended the conversation, gathering her handbag and exiting the office. She waved her hand dismissively. “Until next time.

Bruce got up from his chair and couldn’t hide the smirk on his face. They had finally agreed on something concerning Damian.

“Until next time, Headmaster,” Bruce repeated and held out his hand for the Headmaster to shake.

[ddarker-dreams]

Yandere Behavior: Shigaraki Tomura

→ Yandere MBTI type: CDMS. (Cruel, Delusional, Manipulative, Strict).

What makes Shigaraki distinct from other yanderes is that even though he’s utterly whipped for you, he still finds a way to mess up on every front imaginable. He’s stalked you for too many hours, read all your social media posts, and has even gone out of his way to demand information on you from those in your close circle. All of this information in his head would lead one to believe he could secure you should he play his cards right. That’s even what he believes. Unfortunately for him, his plans never go as seamlessly as he hopes. 

Shigaraki believes himself to be acting sweet on you. In comparison to how he treats others, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say it’s true, but it’s not by regular standards. Intertwined with his compliments are words that sound like threats. Hints of what he could do should you not comply. There’s no opportunity to relax when Shigaraki is around, he’s like a ticking time bomb. He’s made an oath to never kill you, yet you can’t bring yourself to believe in the authenticity of a villain, even if he’s being honest. There’s no trust to be had.

Small, insignificant acts of kindness are misinterpreted as shows of affection. That time you held the door open for him, when you ask about his day out of politeness, stuff like that. Shigaraki takes this as a surefire sign that you’re returning his interest. Any attempts at disputing these claims will not end well. He’ll either claim you’re in denial, or get violent with his surroundings. 

Shigaraki’s form of manipulation ranges from guilt tripping you into giving him affection, or outright threats. He’ll come into where he’s holding you captive and speak about his long day. Looking at you expectantly, believing what he wants from you to be obvious. While he has a hair more patience for you than he would anyone else, it’s still not a lot. It’d be in your best interest to give into what he wants before he gets upset.

Your living conditions won’t be the best. It’s not out of a lack of care on Shigaraki’s behalf... it’s just that he believes a mattress on the floor and some snacks is all you really need. The League of Villains can’t stay in one place for too long, so you’re always on the move from one abandoned building to another. Any attempts to implore Shigaraki for more items you want surprisingly works well. He might grumble about it, but the thought of pleasing you is far too tempting to turn down. You have him wrapped around your finger. 

Though he’s not an idiot. Should you push your luck, he’ll ask with an uncharacteristically solemn expression if you’re taking advantage of him. Thus dealing with Shigaraki is a game of balance. You have to always be on your guard, thinking two steps ahead. He can be unpredictable, yet after a while, you pick up on what to do and what not to do. A result of the extreme situation you’ve been forced into. 

Shigaraki spends a lot of time with you. Most of this time consists of him either sitting and staring at you, or speaking about a wide variety of topics. Video games, what his cohorts have been up to, the latest things that he finds frustrating, and even his future plans for society. He’s surprisingly talkative in your presence. For you, he’ll listen, hanging onto every word that leaves your lips. Should you entertain conversation with him he’d be over the moon. Shigaraki is just... extremely lonely.

He doesn’t know how to properly showcase the love he holds for you in his heart. Through trial and error he discovers what works best, perceptive on how you respond to his different methods, and taking mental notes of everything. You realize that Shigaraki is more observant than he leads you to believe. He’ll recall offhanded comments you mentioned weeks prior, or give you trinkets that align with your obscure interests. It’s just his methods are unconventional.

You’re not going to be given any shots at escape. Shigaraki is beyond paranoid of you leaving him, and goes to extremes to prevent this worst case scenario. Bars over the windows in your room, multiple locks on the door, reinforced steel walls, and even shackles should you test him. It’s not just your escape that he fears. The thought of a hero coming to your rescue makes him sick to his stomach. For them to put their dirty hands on you, promising to take you to safety, someplace far away from him. Shigaraki will never let that happen. 

On rare occasions, he’ll accompany you to the roof of whatever abandoned building you’re staying in. The night sky in the less populated areas of Japan is unmatched in its beauty. Although, anything beats having to stare at a ceiling that’s on the verge of collapse at any second. He’s staring at you the entire time -- not that you’re not used to it at this point -- muttering under his breath. 

Quotes.

“You like this game, don’t you? I’ll let you play it, on one condition. You have to sit on my lap. A fair trade, right [First]? I went through so much trouble to get it, after all.” 

“I understand you. I know everything there is to you know about you, every dark secret and dream. Tell me, [First]... could anyone love you as much as I do? It’s not possible. No, this is something only I can do.” 

“A while ago you mentioned wanting this. You should feel lucky, I’m not this generous with anyone else.” 

[cactusradical]

keeping yourself safe while dating: avoiding redpill and pickup artist tactics

I thought I'd put together a quick list of the most common tactics predatory men use to gain access to women and abuse them. if you're attracted to men, please have a look and keep these in mind. as soon as you're able to spot them it becomes so much easier to avoid these toxic men. this is not intended to be a post about abuse in general. if you would like more information about all stages of abuse including early red flags, explanations of behaviour, and exit strategies, I would highly recommend lundy bancroft's 'why does he do that?'. links to free pdfs are widely available, including on my blog.

negging

a backhanded compliment in order to gently lower your self-esteem, intended to make you try harder to 'prove yourself' to him, and be more likely to accept his male attention for the sake of validation.

an example of this would be 'you're pretty for a ______' (generally directed at ethnic minority women and fat women). you can see that while he is calling you 'pretty', he is also denigrating your ethnicity/weight, making you eager to prove that you're 'one of the good ones'. a similar example would be 'you're not like other women'.

if he does this you should probably just leave him there. coming up with a 'witty' comeback is pretty pointless and a waste of your valuable time.

touch escalation

men will sometimes try and create a false sense of intimacy with women they barely know by gently touching them in innocent places, such as on the arm, hand or back.

this is supposed to 'ease you into' more intimate touching (ie sex) and test your boundaries.

if a man does this, be attentive and remain firm in your boundaries. try and create physical distance. if he remains persistent, he is not safe to be around.

date-prolonging

if you are on a first date with a manipulative man, he may prolong the date by asking you to stay longer than planned or by moving locations (eg you planned to meet for a coffee, but then he wants to go to a bowling alley and then go for dinner). this is used to build intimacy unnaturally quickly in order to obtain sex, as well as to gain more information about you

do not allow this to happen, and if a man becomes upset at you asserting this boundary, he is unsafe, especially if you are refusing to go to an isolated environment such as his home.

hot and cold behaviour

this is pretty self-explanatory, and is done to create a heightened emotional state so that you become addicted to the attention. a person who is genuinely interested in you will never give you mixed messages or be this fickle. if a man does this, do not pursue a relationship with him.

triangulation

this is an obvious one: men will make themselves look like they have many 'options'. they may frequently bring up their attractive exes, regale you with stories about women who are 'obsessed' with them, flirt with other women in front of you or have an inappropriately intimate relationship with a close female friend. this is intended to make you feel like you have to compete for his attention. again, avoid men who do this. they do not respect you.

love-bombing

a man will shower you with excessive praise and attention to make you dependent on him. he may say he loves you inappropriately early on, ask you to live with him inappropriately early on, and begin discussing your future together inappropriately early on. this creates a stronger emotional bond in your mind and makes you more dependent on him. this is also often an early red flag of future abuse.

dread

this is a series of techniques employed by these men to 'keep you in line' in a relationship, especially when they feel they are being denied sex. it includes ignoring you, conspicuously flirting with other women or threatening the end of the relationship/divorce. it is incredibly manipulative and a form of abuse. please, please listen to me: if your partner does this, leave him.

this stomach-churning post goes into disgusting detail on the process of doing this. one illustrative quote: 'after yet another sexual denial just look her in the eye and say something like: "You know I need to have sex with you to have a relationship. You understand this is a biological need for men, right?"'

[spencers-renaissance]

I found my way home

Summary: After Spencer tells Hotch about his recent autism diagnosis, he expects that to be the end of it. Somehow, though, it keeps coming up, and Hotch keeps proving himself to be the best father figure he could have asked for. 

Tags: autistic spencer, protective hotch, hurt/comfort, fluff, paternal hotch, team as family

TW: mentions of ableism, one small instance of ableism & homophobia 

Pairing: Gen 

Word Count: 4.1k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

This was borne from my conversations with @criminalmindsvibez about the lack of autistic spencer fics and her amazing headcanons. While I'm not autistic, Emily is, and helped me to portray Spencer's autism as accurately as possible. That said, please feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong :)

Spencer had made an effort to get into work even earlier than usual today. He’d ridden the metro through the city, dipping his hand into his messenger bag every few minutes to compulsively check that the slim letter he’d received in the post the other day is still in the front pocket where he’d safely placed it that morning. He brushes his fingers over the paper once more as he enters the near-empty bullpen, the letter cool from the winter air.

It’s still so surreal to him that this is where he works. After years of dreaming of working for the FBI he’s finally here, and even though it’s been his place of work for almost two months now, he’s still not used to it. The warm offices are a nice reprieve from the wintry December wind, and he can feel himself relaxing as he heads to his desk. Leaving his coat and messenger bag on his chair, he pulls the letter out of the front pocket and runs his index finger along the edge. He finds himself biting his bottom lip as he tries to work up the courage to go and see Hotch. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he marches determinedly up to Hotch’s office, entering as soon as his knocks are answered. 

“Reid,” Hotch says pleasantly as he takes a seat opposite his desk, realising belatedly that he probably should have waited until he was invited. “You’re in early. What can I do for you?”

Nervously, Spencer hands him the letter he’d couriered across the city so carefully. He’d taken care to open it neatly with his letter opener but the return address on the back has been stamped at a crooked angle, and it bothers him every time he notices it. He can’t stop looking at it now as he taps his fingers anxiously against his leg in the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence, a safe and familiar reassurance played out by his nervous fingers. He watches apprehensively as Hotch pulls the letter out of the envelope, unfolding it and skimming his eyes down the page, taking in the news Spencer’s been so anxious to share with him.

Diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome

God, it had been a long process. He’d had to seek out a doctor in DC who diagnosed adults, paid for all the consultations and diagnostics himself — his insurance certainly wouldn’t cover it, not that he’d feel comfortable using his cushy FBI insurance for something so personal anyway — and the whole process had taken far longer than he’d expected. Finally, though, the envelope had arrived in the mail, and he officially had a diagnosis. 

Of course, he’d had his suspicions for years, especially after one of his professors during his second PhD had casually asked whether he’d ever been tested, planting a seed in his brain that led to many late nights in the library, reading all the literature available to him. It’s why he’d found it strange that it had felt so validating to finally receive that letter in the post. But it had.

The label made sense, and now that he had a diagnosis from a medical professional he felt comfortable to share it with others; he’d been far too paranoid about being questioned, not being believed or lectured about the evils of self-diagnosis no matter how he was confident in himself. He didn’t tend to be an insecure or self-conscious person, but after years of bullying and trauma surrounding what he now knew for sure to be his autistic traits, he couldn’t help but feel almost protective of his affirming label. 

Now though, it’s an irrefutable statement. Dr Spencer Reid has autism, and the first person he wants to tell is Hotch.

“I had no idea you were getting tested, Reid,” Hotch says, a hint of surprise bleeding into his voice. “Is there any specific reason you wanted to share this with me?”

“Well… I felt like someone on the team should know,” Spencer starts carefully, afraid to give too much of himself away, “and I thought that someone in a leadership position was the best option. Gideon has never been very… supportive of my autistic traits or behaviour, so I thought that you— that you would be the best option.” He feels awkward, fidgeting in his chair as he watches Hotch’s serious face and kind eyes absorb the information. 

“That trust in me means a lot, Reid,” he says, a rare smile making its way onto his face. In that moment, Spencer knows he made the right decision. “How can I make things easier for you? Is there anything you need me to be doing differently?”

“Uh—” He hadn’t really been anticipating that question and it catches him off guard: he’d predicted a quick nod of acknowledgement, a request to photocopy the letter so it can be put on file followed by a swift dismissal, but the letter is now sitting on his side of the desk: clearly, Hotch intends on keeping this between them. This is far from what he expected.

“Why don’t you start by telling me about autism and how it might affect your work?” Hotch corrects himself, recognising quickly Spencer’s need for specifics. “I’ll admit I don’t know much beyond some probably rather unhelpful stereotypes.”

Spencer nods. He can answer that question. “As everyone knows I often go off on tangents,” he begins, “and that’s because my special interests — or hyperfixations — often coincide with our work, so I know a lot about the topics we’re investigating. If I do that, just redirect me to the case and I’ll be fine. It’s also really hard for me to have to present myself in a certain way all the time. Vocal stims and gestures are the most satisfying to me but I often have to mask them, which I’ve never been very good at anyway, and it’s fairly exhausting. That’s why I often excuse myself; I go to the bathroom or a secluded hallway and stim on my own. My doctor also told me I tend to overcompensate in social situations and over-perform emotion. Those are the basics, I guess, but it’s a very complex disorder and since it makes up me as a human being, I can’t exactly explain all of it in one conversation.”

“No, that’s fine, Reid, you’ve given me a good picture of what to expect, thank you.” Hotch smiles at him, fondness in the crinkles around his eyes and the softness invading his usually stern expression. “First of all, you never have to feel like you need to excuse yourself to stim. Do you think it would be helpful if we told the rest of the team so they know what to expect? I’m assuming vocal stims are saying certain words or making sounds…?”

Spencer nods. 

“Okay, so if you needed to do that we could just continue the conversation while you get it out of your system. Gestures certainly wouldn’t be a problem. How do you feel about that?”

He hadn’t really considered telling the rest of the team but it seemed sort of intimidating, like he’d be opening a vulnerable side of himself to people he didn’t even know that well. On the other hand, they’d all been so understanding of his quirks and odd behaviour so far without even knowing the reason behind it. He���d never once been made to feel the way he used to at school, forced to either pretend to be someone else completely or be isolated and ostracised. 

He settles for, “I’ll think about it.” 

“That’s fine. There’s no pressure,” Hotch assures him. “I’m very happy you told me, Reid. I hope you know you can come and talk to me about anything, whether it’s about this or something completely different.”

Spencer leaves his office with the letter back in his hands, no notes or copies having been made, feeling almost elated. Never in a million years would he have expected that to go so well. 

⭐️

He doesn’t really expect it to come up again. He’d told Hotch so that he could understand him a bit better, and also because Hotch had quickly assumed a protective, almost paternal role in his life and he wanted to share the piece of news with him whether he was leading his department or not. That was supposed to be it, though, he didn't think anything would materially change, especially since he decided not to tell the team about the diagnosis just yet.

But almost immediately after he’d told Hotch his diagnosis, his rambles began to be gently redirected back to the case, sometimes without him even noticing. He wasn’t rudely cut off by anyone anymore, Hotch always steering him back on course before anyone else can jump in and hurt Spencer’s feelings. It’s so… kind that it almost feels foreign, and he finds himself gravitating towards the older man more and more, sitting next to him on every jet journey and staying glued to his side during cases. 

His newfound protectiveness over Spencer is only demonstrated more clearly a few months after their conversation in Hotch’s office when they’re on their way to New Mexico for a case. The second he spots that the murder victims had all been found with different Fitzgerald quotes scrawled on sheets of paper found in their own personal notebooks, ripped out and left for investigating officers to find, he launches into an info-dump to rival info-dumps. 

He can’t help that literature is a special interest of his, made all the more intense by the fond childhood memories of reading to his mother in her bed. Fitzgerald had been her favourite author of the Modern Era, and he’d spent hours analysing significant passages in his novels as a child, so he starts explaining the literary merit of each of the quotes left at the crime scenes. 

Apparently, he doesn’t hear the first two times Hotch tries to direct him back on topic, but he hears it when Gideon shouts, “Spencer! Long and unnecessary tangents are not conducive to actually solving these cases. Get back on topic. Now.” He’s loud enough to briefly knock him back several decades to memories of his father screaming at his mother’s schizophrenic babbling, when she’d become convinced that the villains of her favourite novels were trying to break into the house.

Spencer stops mid-sentence and stares at Gideon, who is staring right back. Everyone’s watching the two awkwardly, but the short moment of silence is quickly broken by Hotch. “There is absolutely no need to be that rude, Jason,” he says disapprovingly, while he lays a hand on Spencer’s arm in a light, absent-minded sort of touch. “Reid may have been off-topic but he deserves respect just like everyone else on this team. Nobody needs to be shouted at like that.” He directs his attention back to Spencer. “Why don’t you tell us how those Fitzgerald quotes could help us solve the case, Reid?” 

He gives him an encouraging look, and when he looks around the jet, everyone else is, too. Carefully, he starts speaking again, a little afraid of being cut off again, but after a few sentences of relevant explanation he regains his momentum. It’s more than a little vindicating when it’s his ‘unnecessary tangent’ that ends up being the key to cracking the case. 

⭐️

Soon after Hotch’s split from Haley, he approaches Spencer one evening when they’re the only two left at the office with a dinner invitation. Within the hour, they walk into a nice, low-key Italian place in the city and take a seat in the far corner of the restaurant. 

“Is everything okay?” Spencer asks a little uncertainly, confused as to why his boss is suddenly taking him for dinner. 

“I had this idea almost as soon as you told me about your autism,” Hotch explains, knowing by now that preambles and niceties only frustrate Spencer instead of setting him at ease. “I wanted to take you out for dinner every week to try and give you a space to ramble about all your special interests and not feel like you have to mask around everyone. But when I was with Haley, all my personal time was obviously spent with her and Jack. Now, I have the time to dedicate to you and all the incredible knowledge you’re hoarding in that brain of yours.”

“Really?” Spencer asks excitedly. The idea of uninhibited space to talk about the recent knowledge he’s acquired and not have to feel insecure or worry about performing social skills he doesn’t see the point of is everything he’s ever wished for, and something so wonderful being provided by Hotch only makes it better. 

“Really.”

Spencer wastes no time. He dives right in. “I was just watching a documentary the other day about volcanoes and their ability to trigger lightning storms with their voltage,” he begins. “Basically, magma rises toward the volcano’s surface, its water rapidly turns to vapor, which shatters the molten rock into tiny particles and creates charged particles. When the ash plume erupts into the atmosphere, the densely packed particles collide, driven by momentum. Friction then affects their electrons, becoming electrically charged. Positively and negatively charged electrons separate in the ash plume which creates a charge imbalance that builds an electric charge strong enough to trigger a lightning storm.” 

“That’s incredible.”

“I know,” Spencer says excitedly. “If the ash plume rises high enough in the atmosphere ice forms, and when ice, hail, and supercooled liquid droplets collide, the rates of lightning explode, it’s crazy.”

They’re briefly interrupted by a waitress taking their orders, but as soon as she leaves, Hotch gets him to jump back in. “What about that lecture you attended last week… the literature of 18th Century England or something?”

“19th Century English Lit, yeah!” He’s so eager to finally share this with somebody who will genuinely listen to him, and he can’t help it when his arms start to flap excitedly. Remembering where he is, he doesn’t try to mask it, pin his arms to his sides and simply deal with and suppress the innate urge to stim, he lets his body do what it wants to. Instead of eliciting a strange, sideways look, Hotch just smiles fondly.  

“The lecturer had this fascinating theory on Dickens. I’ve always seen him as a pretty straight forward author of picaresque fiction, obviously combined with facets of melodrama. And it’s common knowledge that he was inspired by the novel of sensibility, of course. But I’d never thought about the stylistic and lexical choices in his works beyond standard analysis, and this lecturer went on a deep dive into his use of collocation and it opened my eyes…”

He spends the whole evening stimming to his heart’s content while detailing every current interest of his to Hotch, who simply listened intently while eating his meal slowly, dragging out the meal for as long as Spencer needed. “Let me give you a lift home,” Hotch insists after footing the bill, leading him out into the warm evening air.

“Oh, I don’t mind taking the metro,” he replies truthfully. 

“I know. But it would make me feel better to drop you home safely. It’s late and seeing you into your apartment building would give me peace of mind.”

“Sure,” Spencer agrees happily, he’s still buzzing from such a nice evening and the least he can do for Hotch is let him rest easy tonight, so he climbs into the passenger side of his car. A few minutes into the car ride home, he realises he should probably actually verbalise just how much he enjoyed dinner. “Thank you, Hotch. I don’t think anybody’s ever done something so nice for me before.”

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” Hotch replies, smiling even though he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. Spencer very much likes it when Hotch uses his first name, and he’d been doing it all evening. He doesn’t really understand why it feels so nice, just that it makes him feel… special, maybe.

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he repeats, before freezing as he realises what he’s said. He’s got so used to not masking all evening, he’s not in the right rhythm and mindset to suppress the urge to repeat Hotch’s words. He’s been so nice the whole evening, the last thing Spencer wants is for Hotch to think he’s mocking him. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hotch reassures him, tapping his arm lightly as he smiles encouragingly. 

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he says again, repeating it a few times in relief before the itch is satisfied. He really does have the best boss/friend in the whole world. There’s no doubt about that. 

⭐️

Rossi’s initial reaction to Spencer had admittedly been a bit rocky, and having Hotch undeniably on his side was the only thing that made those first few months bearable. He never let them go off on their own; never put Spencer in a position where he’d have to be alone with him. Gradually, though, Rossi adjusted to his quirks and he became almost as protective of Spencer as Hotch.

That doesn’t bode well for the local sheriff when they’re on a case in North Carolina. He’s been prickly since they arrived, being as stubborn and uncooperative as possible, slowing down their progress on actually solving the case, and Spencer’s noticed him being a little extra rude to him in particular. It doesn’t massively bother him — it’s not exactly like someone’s aversion to him is a novel concept — but he can feel some sort of tension coming from the others. It happens a lot more now that they know about his autism and are more aware of themselves and others.

He tries to ignore it the best he can; he puts his head down and focuses on the geographical profile, going wherever he’s sent. Besides, the sooner they solve this case the sooner they can get out of North Carolina and back to DC. On their third day on the case, he’s working quietly in their designated corner of the police department alongside Hotch and Rossi while the others are out investigating in various different places. It’s a nice environment, and even though both men are his superiors, he feels more relaxed in their company than in anybody else’s.

It’s a relatively pleasant morning — considering the whole trying to catch a brutal serial killer thing — until they need to ask the sheriff a question. He saunters over, a tense and angry expression on his face, and Spencer can’t help but feel a little off, the confusing tension in the air that Spencer can’t quite identify making him anxious in his inability to properly decipher it. “Gentlemen,” he says, already frustrated. Spencer suspects it’s a pride thing; not many police departments like being shown up enough to have the FBI called in.

Eager to know the answer to their question, Spencer’s the one to jump in and ask. “Sheriff, we were just wondering whether the town gets much traffic from the local university or—”

He’s cut off by the sneering, towering man. “I’m not taking any questions from your kind,” he says aggressively. 

“I’m sorry?” Spencer squeaks as Rossi and Hotch both prepare to say something in response.

The sheriff cuts them off before they can get their likely diplomatic and calming words out. “Homo retards aren’t welcome around here.”

“Hey!” Rossi shouts as he leaps out of the chair, grabbing him by the collar as he’s helped by the element of surprise. “You don’t fucking talk to Spencer like that, you hear me? Weak, cowardly men like you—”

“Dave,” Hotch says placatingly, putting a hand on his shoulder and diffusing the situation. “Listen, Sheriff, we are only here to help you. But if you can’t respect my agents then we’re going to have a problem. Either you’re civil to Dr Reid, or I’m reporting you to the NC Sheriff’s Association. You hear me?”

The sheriff’s pride is clearly wounded, but he at least nods before giving them all a scornful look and walking away. 

“We didn’t even get to ask the question,” Spencer says anxiously, suddenly feeling out of his depth, like he can’t quite get enough air. 

“Dave, try and get an answer,” Hotch directs, taking charge of the situation. “Spencer, come with me.” He takes him into a secluded hallway for a little privacy, sitting him down on the cool linoleum before sinking down next to him. “You’re okay.”

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Spencer whispers over and over to himself as he rocks backwards and forwards, trying desperately to self-soothe.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Hotch asks. He’s been in enough of these situations with Spencer to know he’s usually in two very different headspaces: he either longingly craves the grounding touch of a hug or a hand on his back, or he needs complete space. He’s also learned that asking outright is the only way to get an direct answer. 

“Yes,” Spencer replies, before repeating it over and over again as he’s wrapped up in Hotch’s arms, head pressed against his chest, his hand pressing gently against the back of Spencer’s head. He starts to calm down as he manages to breathe to the heat of Hotch’s calm, steady heartbeat, the comforting touch of someone he trusts with his life also helping to bring him back down to earth. A good ten minutes after the altercation with the sheriff, he’s feeling much better and brings his head out of it’s safe cocoon between Hotch’s chest and hand. 

“Come on,” Hotch says kindly. “Let’s get back to the case, yeah? You can just sit and work quietly until you’re ready to hold a proper conversation again. How does that sound?”

Spencer nods tiredly, knowing that work will perk him back up again, and being surrounded by his team will make him feel safe, asshole sheriff or not.

⭐️

Over the years Hotch helps him through any hurdles that come his way, learning the exact nuances of Spencer’s characteristics and requirements, making sure to accommodate him in every way possible.

He brings an extra, super-soft sweater in his go-bag in case Spencer ever forgets his and needs something gentle on his skin but tight enough to make him feel secure. He buys him stimming toys, dropping them on Spencer’s desk before he even arrives at work and lets him use his office whenever the lights and noise of the bullpen get too much, drawing the blinds and giving him the space he needs. Rossi doesn’t even question it anymore when Hotch shows up with a stack of paperwork and moves into his office for the morning. 

It wasn’t until Hotch made a concerted effort to make his life easier that Spencer realised how hard it had been fighting through life on his own. So when he realises Hotch’s birthday is coming up, he decides he wants to show his gratitude. It’s never been easy for him to express emotions, especially since he’s never really found it rude when people don’t thank him, but he knows that for most neurotypical people, appreciation is important. 

So he talks it over with Derek and on Hotch’s birthday, he comes into work to see Spencer waiting in his office with balloons, a cake, a card, and a present. He’d spent hours trying to find the right words to explain how he feels, to find the right words to show Hotch just how much everything he’s done for him means, but eventually he’d settled on something simple:

Caroline B Cooney wrote: “I found my family. I found the right thing to do. I found my way home.” 

I found all of these things when I joined the BAU, but more specifically when I walked into your office, hands shaking, clasping a letter I’d been waiting for all my life. Thank you. 

Hotch reads it with tears in his eyes before taking in the cake, a classic birthday cake Spencer had bought at the store, the words “Happy Birthday Dad” written in blue icing. He didn’t really understand why the cake had stood out to him, or why he associated the word ‘dad’ with someone who wasn’t related to him at all, but he’d trusted his gut and with Derek’s cheerleading, he’d bought it. 

“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says tearfully. “Can I hug you?”

Feeling only mildly uncomfortable at the visible display of emotion Spencer doesn’t know what to do with, he nods and steps into Hotch’s comforting embrace. “This means the world to me,” Hotch murmurs quietly as he stands, hugging Spencer for as long as the younger man can stand it. 

Spencer’s still not completely sure why he’s managed to make him so emotional, but at least he can trust that it’s a good thing, that Hotch is happy and pleased and reassured. And if he can make him feel even a smidgen as happy as Hotch has made Spencer over the years, well. He’ll consider his long and boring trip into the city to buy the cake, present and card worth it.

Quick Note: Spencer is diagnosed with Asperger’s because that part of the fic is set in 2005. These days he would be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @strippersenseii

[theredconversegirl]

I love your blog. I have three questions for you. What made you start to ship sasusaku? What do you like about both characters? What is your 5 favorite sasusaku scenes?

Hi nonny,

Thank you so much! 💕🤗

When I read your questions, memories of a 14-year-old-self-Flah came to the surface and that helped me answer your questions. 😁

So, let's go:

What made you start to ship sasusaku?

Ok, I stumbled upon Naruto (classic) a long time ago and the first time I saw Sakura and Sasuke interacting was in the Land of Waves arc.

Two scenes made me fall in love: Sasuke moving in front of Sakura to protect her and Sakura crying over him. I got some star-crossed lovers vibe right there. 😍

When she ran towards his supposed lifeless body, my heart clenched for her. 😭 I was just chanting in my mind "nononono this can't be true, they didn't even begin! It's not fair!" something along those lines.

By the end of that heart-wrenching scene, I just knew they were meant to be together. The misunderstood bad boy needed the soft-ball-of-sunshine good girl beside him. 🥺💕

After that arc, I started watching the anime from the beginning and I was already shipping them without even knowing what shipping was.

But if we are summing up, I would say: the subtle way Sasuke cares about Sakura, always protecting her, and how Sakura cares/worries for him, trying to provide him the warmth and support of a family, sealed the deal for me. 😄

What do you like about both characters?

🍅: Sasuke's loyalty to his family (he was misunderstood, misled and lied to, but all the time he wanted to honor his family). His bluntness (ok, it might hurt to hear the truth sometimes, but many times we need to and I don't know, I feel this doesn't happen as often these days). His way of caring for his precious people (Sasuke cares too much - and not too little how people think - and he doesn't need to parade his feelings to show that. No one needs spectators intruding in those moments. He shows his love through the little things and when/where is most important).

🌸: Sakura's determination! (check that post, it's amazing). Her character development or should I say it, her glow up! (also - confession time here, her pre-teen years were kind of relatable 😳). Her kindness (she's so good!) and intelligence: the scenes where she creates an antidote for Kankuro? 🤯 And she finding Kakashi below in the second bell's test? 🤯 And figuring out things during the fight with Sasori? 🤯 She's a real strategist! And last, but not the least, Sakura never giving up on Sasuke and wanting to save him from his darkness. 💕

What is your 5 favorite sasusaku scenes?

This was so hard 😭 why only five? Why did you do this to me?🤣 After some time, I settled for these 5 scenes:

1. Forest of Death: The moment they squeeze hands and Sakura helps him through the exorbitant pain. The whole sequence from when they are alone until Sakura takes him to somewhere safe pulls at my heartstrings.

2. Land of Waves - I talked about that scene on the top of the post, so yeah. The moment Sasuke realizes someone cares if he dies was significant to me.

3. Back to Forest of Death - Please... Stop...

I'll quote the Databook 1 for this scene, because it says everything:

「呪印の影響で暴走するサスケを身を挺して鎮めるサクラ。サクラのサスケを想う心が、邪な力を包み込む。」(translation by Nobusaki) (Databook 1 RAW can be found here)

"Sakura who [voluntarily (bravely)] calms the rampaging Sasuke under the influence of the cursed seal. Sakura’s heart that thinks of Sasuke devours the malevolent/wicked power."

4. The Bench scene - Because it's a pivoting moment and I'm a sucker for confession scenes. Guys, he could have ignored her and left like fifteen minutes ago, but he's hesitating! Also, his eyes are shadowed/hidden, he's not showing Sakura his feelings because he's resolute in leaving.

And here's when we get that fundamental quote from Databook 2:

「孤独だった自分の存在を愛情という想いで満たしてくれたのがサクラだった。だが、その想いに応えることはやはりできない。サスケは、ただ一言の感謝の言葉を、別れの言葉として告げることしかできなかったのだ。」 “The one who filled his lonely existence [for him] with the emotion called love was Sakura. But, as expected, Sasuke cannot respond to her feelings. Sasuke was only able to leave a single word of thanks as word of parting."

I was going to choose the war scene, featuring that chef's kiss catch and SasuSaku eyesmex for my top 5, but I couldn't because...

5. The Poke - nothing better than Sasuke canoninzing SasuSaku, huh?

Ahhh this might be my longest post ever (that is not a list)!!! I hope you enjoyed reading my answers. This took me longer than I expected to put together but I had a lot of fun re-analyzing all the 🍅🌸 moments and remembering when I saw them for the first time. 🥺❤

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! 😊

See you next time ;) 👉

xoxo

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 142

Another late chapter... I’m really batting a thousand lately, seems like.

So, work has been insane, but @baelpenrose reminds me to post when I forget, thankfully. And this is SUCH a fun chapter.  I hope you all enjoy!

I dropped into a seat in Mess Hall Seven with a groan, so exhausted that I barely managed to get soup and a grilled cheese from the console.  Tyche yawned and nodded in agreement before poking at her sushi bowl idly. It was six Von-days after the last drill, and between coordinating increased training schedules for Shelters Three and Seven and helping Charly plan kink-night at the Undine, we were wiped.

“People are ungrateful,” she muttered before managing to barely balance a piece of salmon into her mouth.

I muttered something that hopefully sounded like agreement before I scooped up a bite of my soup with one wedge of sandwich, too lazy to even bother with the spoon. “Remind me why we don’t have Vati and Hannah handling the practice schedules?”

“Because they are handling the extra evacuation drills with Jokul and Arthur.”

Personally, I thought they were getting the better end of this deal, but since the raging success of their first Food Festival, it really was only fair. “And the relocations for those who need it,” I admitted. “Except mine.”

“Conor may actually strangle one of them if any of your plants don’t make it,” she pointed out, gesturing with her chopsticks for emphasis after having given up and using her fingers to eat her lunch. “Not to mention I wouldn’t wish packing with Maverick on anyone.”

“He’s letting me pack the books and textiles.” I shrugged in acceptance after taking another bite of soup-dipped sandwich.

We picked at our food in silence after that, grateful for something resembling a reprieve, before we were interrupted by a flurry of grey hair and enthusiasm landing in one of the nearby chairs with a heavy thunk. “Good afternoon, Madams Reid.”

“Hey, Jokul,” I muttered as Tyche just waggled her fingers at him. I really think I liked it better when he was trying to kill me. Right now, I might even let him do it.

“I know you are both on your meal period, but I wanted to test the waters on potentially scheduling a community activity,” he rushed out.

Tyche guarded her lunch with an almost feral aggression, having heard what happened the last time Jokul had interrupted my lunch. “That should really be something you run by Al-”

“Worthington, yes, I know,” he interrupted. “However, I know you are both quite busy and I wanted to be respectful of your time. As such, I will make this as brief as - ow!” He snatched his hand back away from the other half of my sandwich, rubbing where I had slammed my spoon down onto it.

“I have no idea where the food stealing comes from, but don’t,” I warned him.

“Rude, got it,” he nodded in a terrifying impression of Charly’s normal demeanor. “As I was saying, I recently learned a new type of game from Terra, from the Before.  It involves teamwork, and encourages creativity and escapism, and I think it would be a very good community activity - “

I surrendered to my urge to groan. “We are not doing a redux of Settlers of Cattan. Arthur stabbed someone last time.”

“I didn’t press charges…” Jokul pouted, glancing at the scar on the back of his wrist briefly. “Besides, it was only a fork. Clearly he didn’t mean it, there were four knives in arms reach counting my own.”

Tyche cocked an eyebrow at me. Seriously?

I pursed my lips and wrinkled my nose in response. Yep.

“So what game is it this time?” I asked hesitantly.

I was reward-bombarded with a grin. “It’s called Dungeons and Dragons! Somewhat like a video game, but with more people, and using writing implements and paper. Oh, and different kinds of dice, very important. One person is something of the narrator, to give the game a kind of structure, while the other players act as characters in the game… Ivan introduced me to it, and it is quite challenging with the right people.  The dungeon master - that is the narrator - has to re-evaluate the story based on the actions of the other players, but the players themselves don’t know what the dungeon master is going to do. It is very much a social diversion, and there are many classes….”

As Jokul continued to gush, he was rather oblivious to the fact that Tyche and I were stuffing our faces as quickly as possible to avoid interrupting him or laughing. We had both played when we were younger - in fact, we had been introduced to the game by our mother.  There had even been a very overwhelming pop-culture movement in our youth around the game, which further emphasized just how far out in the boonies Jokul had grown up.  As shocking as it was that he was just now discovering the game, it came at exactly zero surprise that he enjoyed it so much - it was right up his alley of interests.

About fifteen minutes and two more grilled cheeses into his retelling of the campaign he was part of, Charly and Arthur squeezed in with us, their own lunches in tow.  As seemed to be a growing trend, Arthur reached over and snagged one of my sandwiches before I could react, shoving half of it in his face.

That was apparently enough to snap Jokul out of his story. “Hey! Why didn’t you hit him?”

“His deathwish, not my problem,” I shrugged.

Around the remains of my lunch, Arthur managed to enunciate. “Told you, Noah fissed the dairy allergy.”

“Bleargh,” I gagged comically. “It’s okay, think I’m done anyway.”

Jokul’s hand swatted Arthur’s out of the way to steal the rest of my food. “As I was saying, Ivan was quite clever with his resolution to deal subdural damage to the player who was very much ruining the storyline by insisting his character was immune to magical sleep…”

“Oooooo! I love tabletops!” Charly squealed, bouncing in her seat. “What setting are you playing in right now?  My favorite was always Exalted…”

“Miss Harper, I think we are discussing different activities.” Jokul sounded supremely confused, but my heart broke a bit.

Arthur shook his head. “Maybe not Exalted, but what about Ebberron? Swordhaven, maybe?  Just tell me it isn’t Ravenloft… I know you haven’t been fucking around in a Dark Sun, but I beg you to tell me you aren’t playing Ravenloft.”

“I’m not sure what those are… Ivan introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons. There is only one setting.”

“So… Greyhawk or homebrew,” Arthur nodded. “Best place to start, get the basics down.”

Jokul’s head pivoted toward me and Tyche, squinting in annoyance. “You knew, didn’t you? And you let me prattle on…”

“You were so… happy….” I explained plaintively. “We didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

Tyche nodded. “We both remember how fun that first campaign is. And honestly? We’ve been having a kind of crappy day.  It was nice to hear someone be excited about something that isn’t work related.”

“But I came to you to discuss making it a ship activity…”

“Originally, yeah,” I shrugged. “That was maybe the first thirty seconds.  After that, you were doing what literally every tabletop roleplaying person has done since the beginning of time… telling stories about the fun, dramatic, and frankly stupid shit the people in your party are doing.”

“Says the two-foot eight halfling rogue,” Arthur scowled.

“I rolled it at random, it was fifteen years ago, get over it!” I threw my hands up dramatically. “At least I wasn’t mated to a frickin’ deity.”

Charly giggled uncontrollably while Jokul goggled at us. “Exalted is broken in all the fun ways.”

“You literally sacrificed, and I quote ‘all of your fucks to give’, for necromancy.”

“That was your idea!”

Jokul turned toward Tyche, waiting for her to say something. She just held up her hands defensively. “I was a murder monk-bunny.”

Arthur snorted. “You were the Black Rabbit of Inle….”

“Well if my wife would have just stopped dying…!”

“At least none of us were the Platinum Knight who pissed his pants every time he confronted his favored enemy,” I laughed. “He never did live that one down. Every. Single. Dragon. He would crit fail his roles.”

“Oh, please,” Arthur intoned drily. “Did I ever tell you about the time one of my players managed to make ‘Notice me, Senpai’ into the most terrifying in-universe warcry imaginable?”

Charly choked before swatting his shoulder. “Not in front of my pasta. Please.”

Jokul, however, looked both horrified and intrigued, egging Arthur on. “Barbarian whose entire clan worshipped a god named The Senpai…. Just imagine, a barbarian in a rage, bellowing ‘NOTICE ME, SENPAI!!!’ before just scything down thirty men with a broadsword.”

At this point, I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. “Please, please tell me there was a kilt and pigtails involved….”

Jokul touched his own hair, before straightening as seriously as possible. “They are warrior’s braids, Councillor.”

That was it, I couldn’t take it anymore. I just put my head down on my folded arms and waiting to either pass out from laughing so hard or from exhaustion.  A few deep breaths and a spinning head later, I managed to wipe my face on my sleeve and realized the conversation was continuing without me.  Just as I was clearing my throat to let Jokul know he should be fine to start organizing something and to send me a rough outline, Arthur dealt the final blow.

Leaning over, he whispered over my shoulder. “By the way, the barbarian’s name was Drystan of the Doki-doki tribe.”

I was proud that I managed to get up and dash into the hallway before collapsing against the wall in maniacal laughter.  I barely registered Hannah’s voice behind me asking everyone at the table if I needed medical assistance, and that did not help.

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