#clockwork was one of the worse characters in this episode change my mind

[pokelolmc]

The Ultimate Enemy is a Disappointment (and How I'd Fix it) (Part 4)

Clockwork is one of the biggest problems with TUE. Change my mind. (Third biggest, specifically, behind Dan and the CAT).

I feel a little guilty, trash-talking fan-favourite Time Dad, but that’s okay—his character concept is really interesting, and I like him in fanon. But canon Clockwork, on the other hand...the writers fucked him up.

Writing a wise, all-knowing (or extensively foreknowing) character is challenging, and they put none of the thought required into it. They try to portray him as sympathetic in the ending--but everything that came before it accidentally implies he's negligent, morally unsympathetic and/or incompetent. And I don’t see ANYONE talking about it.

I still have some say about the Observants at the end, but there's just not as much on them. They appear less, and seem to be deliberately portrayed as incompetent, so their faults are bit more excusable.

(Like section 2, this'll be the criticisms and the fixes will be their own post. I have some very interesting ideas for Clockwork/Observant lore).

(Part 3), Part 4, (Part 4.5)

Part 4--A Wrench in the (Clock)works--The Ultimate Enemy’s failure at writing foreknowing/near-omniscient characters.

Clockwork behaves inconsistently with an all-knowing character. Rather than actively preventing Dan’s existence, he only pushes the events of Dan’s timeline along. And he makes statements/assertions in the episode that are factually wrong.

Given the quote above, and his ability to see the alternate future as he pleased, it’s openly possible that he had access to everything in both timelines, at any time he wanted in the episode, from the time window. So he could know of all the major events of The Ultimate Enemy itself in advance.

While I won’t say this with absolute certainty, I will criticise the writers for establishing this idea in the first place without putting any limitations on his character (to eliminate the possibility of complete foreknowledge). So assume that as just the upper limit. The actuality might be somewhere in the middle.

And this leaves some MASSIVE holes in the writing.

For an apparently wise/all-knowing “Master of Time”, Clockwork makes some terrible decisions.

He wants to demonstrate to the Observants that Danny “won’t grow up evil because he cheated on a test”. So he decides…to give Danny the answers (by orchestrating an “accident”), and see whether he’d cheat or not. This makes no sense and is entirely pointless (if he's as all-knowing as the episode treats him).

He should should already KNOW how his "test" will turn out. If it he didn't need it for himself, but was just trying to prove a point to the Observants, it’s still redundant. There's no reason to tempt Danny to cheat, when the response he already knows is coming won’t prove his point.

If Danny was going to come to the idea of cheating on his own, all Clockwork had to do was sit back and wait. All he ends up doing is make Danny “cheating” happen faster.

He also indirectly leads everyone at the Nasty Burger to their would-be deaths by enabling/facilitating all of the episode's time travel in the first place. The only reason everyone ends up at the Nasty Burger for the explosion in canon is because of the trio and Dan’s time travel (see part 3). Clockwork is the one who obliged the Observants' request to attack Danny. He sent back Skulktech, which gave the trio access to his tower--and to the alternate future, which prompted Dan to go back to the past to railroad his timeline into happening.

Which is something Clockwork should’ve been able to see coming, and did nothing to prevent—not even when he explicitly saw Dan meddling with the past in front of him.

How was the trio able to get behind the back of someone as knowing and powerful as Clockwork (to get the time medallions and hop into the future)? Why did he get so carelessly distracted by Danny? The only explanation is either Clockwork is actually incompetent enough to get outwitted by three (two and a half) human teenagers, or he allowed them to go.

Perhaps everyone still could’ve gone on their own, without future knowledge (not that the episode gives us any options for how that would happen—again, see part 3) but he still made everything worse.

And there’s no reason Clockwork couldn’t check Dan’s timeline ten years back and see the fusion. But he still spends the entire episode acting as if Danny and Dan are the same person. Which is factually incorrect.

We could assume he secretly knows, but just pretends not to--except his actions otherwise are still highly questionable.

He could’ve been cooperative and transparent—just used the ghosts he sent after Danny to get the trio to his tower to talk (foreseeing them hitching a ride with Skulktech), while still complying with the Observants on paper. There, he could’ve explained, “There’s an alternate future where you and the other halfa fuse into a powerful monster; he’s brought the world to ruin and the Observants put a hit on you because overkill…”

(Yeah, remember this? If he's acting, he's sure as hell getting into it for no good reason...)

But instead he tells Danny “I’ve been tasked with eliminating your future, so [Dan] doesn't happen” and acts like a threat to the trio when it would’ve been much more efficient to talk things out!

Claiming that "Danny's future is sealed" because he chose to keep the answers is just blatantly wrong, and he should know better as a guardian of time himself. And cheating on a test is too petty for someone of his scale to consider so morally significant.

2. The episode doesn’t establish/justify why Clockwork didn’t just deal with Dan himself, and spare everyone else the unnecessary strife/trauma. The entire episode can only be possible because of his negligence.

For all the ominous hype about Dan being “inevitable” and “Danny’s going to turn into him”, he really…really isn’t. He’s more so the opposite, given the circumstances are so hyperspecific. The domino effect that leads to his birth is so causally fragile that one small change could completely wipe him off the map.

(like...literally fucking ANYTHING?! It's your call, dude! I'm not the Master of Time!)

Clockwork didn’t even need to be powerful enough to win against Dan one-on-one. He could’ve interfered in Dan’s past by giving information to other characters to change their decisions (steer Lancer and the Fenton’s away from the Nasty Burger via Jazz, keep Danny away from Vlad, etc). If Dan was really that big a threat to both worlds, then he has all the moral justification (for the sake of efficiency) to do so to prevent harm!

And yet, he doesn’t. There's no explained character reason he doesn't interfere--either why he can't or why he thinks he shouldn't. To use a dominantly time-travel series as an example--Doctor Who created lore on time having special "fixed points" that can't be altered without damaging the fabric of time itself. It also had moral/character conflicts exploring the Doctor choosing not to interfere with historical disasters.

But with Clockwork, we don't even get a line. Whether it's a throwaway line on not having the power to interact with regular time directly, or about how he's already tried to prevent Dan's birth and failed (and now thing are in the last stretch). The closest we get are lines such as "things are how they're supposed be" (implying he has a standard of how events should happen), but that's just window-dressing to make him sound mysterious and impressive. There's never an explanation of what does or doesn't count.

If he really couldn’t stop The Ultimate Enemy from happening in the first place, then see point one: Openly allying with/fully informing the trio from the start is more efficient and helpful than letting them treat you like an adversary and stumble in blind. Why did Danny have to go to Vlad to learn about Dan’s origin when Clockwork was right there?!

Tons of people experience trauma (or even die) because of Clockwork’s allowance or inaction. The trio, Jazz, Danny's parents and Mr Lancer (though technically they never remember), future!Valerie and her dad. Even everyone who died because of Dan in the alternate future (because Clockwork could’ve stopped it from ever reaching that point if he tried. If I can come up with ways to prevent Dan's birth, the all-knowing Master of Time can!).

And if he had the power to undo ALL of the damage to the timeline all along (rewinding time to save Danny’s loved ones) …why does anything that happens in this episode matter, at all (outside of the memories of three people)?!

Why couldn’t he have done that when the alternate timeline went awry in the first place?!

Sure, it could be said that Danny learned something from the experience...but I doubt any lesson he could've been "taught" is morally worth the apocalyptic destruction of another timeline and forcing Danny to fight as powerful a threat as Dan unassisted.

Lessons like moral honesty had already been taught in far lower-stakes ways than TUE. Since he didn’t really “become Dan” or do anything actually evil, there was nothing specific he could’ve only learned from Dan’s existence other than "don't create a fusion with Vlad". Dan's wide-scale harm was unnecessary.

3. After sidling all of this bullshit on a fourteen year old kid, Clockwork doesn’t even make up for it properly.

If he wanted to give Danny fair “second chance”, he could’ve sent him back to before any of the time travel happened—the moment in the kitchen before Boxed Lunch attacked. This would’ve undone all the alterations to the timeline and given Danny time to study—especially since he was responsible for the ghost attacks that robbed Danny of his last study days. The boy just had several massive fights and watched his loved ones blow up!

But no. His idea of a “second chance” is dropping Danny off RIGHT before the CAT! To take the blame for Dan opening the answers! All for the purpose of a little triumphant “Danny’s learned his lesson” moment for a half-assed anti-cheating message, when Danny never even cheated! In canon, he couldn't just tell Lancer “a ghost from another timeline opened the answers”—but that wouldn’t have been necessary if Clockwork just sent him further back in time! He basically ripped Danny off.

4. Why does Clockwork even listen to the Observants? What power do they have over him? Why did he oblige their request to go after Danny in the first place?

Clockwork seems to suggest that they see time in a more limited fashion than he does—perhaps with causality in a stricter order, or one-way with less alternate possibilities (based on his parade analogy)…but we see them observing Clockwork at the time window. He essentially shares access to it, so why couldn’t Clockwork just show the Observants Dan’s origin story? That’d raise the same problem with ill-informed decision-making that I already discussed.

And the episode doesn't make it clear what power the Observants have over Clockwork, and why he has any reason to listen to them. If he was right and had the better way of doing things all along, why not just outright refuse the Observants and prove himself right to them with his results? Why entertain their irrational backseating?

[jeagerism]

wish you were here

✒ word count : 4.2k

✒ characters : park jimin x reader

✒ warnings : sadness, like hella sadness im sorry, break up!au, reader just misses him lots, small amounts of fluff, cursing, seeing the person you love with someone new, first dates, moving on, crying

✒ summary : You're sitting in your bathtub eating marshmallows at 3 in the morning three weeks after the break up, and you're doing fine, you really are. But then, all of a sudden, you're crying and realising how much you miss him.

✒ author's note : as i wrote more and more i was like...hmmm. jimin. here is the completed fic im scared to post this didusissj but if i don't i might die so. hope u guys like dis one xoxo it's my first jimin imagine pls do not hurt me im trying :o

It's 6 p.m. on a Saturday when it happens.

The curtains are open slightly in the living room, rays of golden sunlight reaching just past where your feet rest on the couch. You're typing up an essay when Jimin slips through the door, toeing his shoes off. Five-fifty, just like clockwork. The coat he wears everyday goes on the same hook - third from the left. He shuffles over to the couch and presses his lips to the crown of your head, just like always.

It's easy to fall into routine.

Another episode of Sex Education plays in the background, long forgotten after an hour of staring at the same screen. You're pretty sure your brain is fried. But you'd made a promise to yourself that you'd finish this essay today, so you make due. 

"Hey." The way your lips stretch into a smile is hard to control, even more so when he copies your actions. He falls onto the couch beside you, leaning into the cushions with a hum. He smells like the strawberries and honey body wash in the bathroom.

You let your eyes study him for a few seconds, then go back to typing, and it's quiet, just like always. It feels normal. Nothing's different. 

Until it is.

"I think we should break up."

Of the five years you've known Jimin, you've been through a lot. And while most of it had been dealing with things much bigger than yourselves, bigger than romance and first kisses, you'd had your fair share of relationship issues.

But things were good. He would come home every day, smiling, press that same kiss to your forehead. Sit right beside you, leaning into your side, his warmth seeping into you. Sometimes he'd play with your fingers, a thing that kept him occupied and calm. You knew Jimin, you knew all his habits, what made him tick, how he acted when he was sad, or happy, or angry.

"Y/N?"

"I can't", you breathe out, so softly it's barely audible. And you wonder if he can even hear you. If he can hear the way you're trying to gather up everything you're feeling right now and trying to shove it down, down, down. "I don't understand? I need, can you-" 

And as much as you know Jimin, he knows you all the same. He knows you're panicking, and normally, he'd grab your hands and help you breathe. In for three, out for three. In for three out for three. He doesn't do that this time. He doesn't even look at you.

"I'm just not...happy. I'm not happy and I don't think I make you happy anymore, either."

But you do. He does, Jimin makes you so happy that sometimes you forget how to breathe. He makes you so happy that you love everything about him, even the things that drive you insane sometimes. So happy that you pick up the clothes he leaves on the floor after his shower, or place his shoes back neatly, or cook his favorite food for him whenever he asks.

These are the things you want to tell him. You want to tell him it all and more, but the only thing that comes out is :

"Okay."

Because what else can you say? He's just said that he's not happy with you anymore, and he's so close but farther away than ever, and he's not even looking at you.

In for three, out for three. But you still can't breathe. And this time, as his words fall on near deaf ears - something about "my stuff" and "sometime later" and "you stay, I'll go" - and he slips his shoes and coat back on, and it's quiet, it's not because you're happy.

You can't breathe because it hurts. You're not sure of how long you stay on the couch, computer running hot on your lap, a "Are you still watching" message on the tv. But when you finally look up, it's dark. 

And you take a breath. Dragging yourself to Jimin and your bedroom - your bedroom - takes more of an effort than you'll admit, but you get there. The pillow is cool against your burning cheek. You allow your eyes to close tight, because his side of the bed is never this cold.

All you can do is breathe. In for three, out for three. Something you'd learned from him, with him. 

It's all you can do to keep yourself from breaking.

He takes you on your first date in September.

It's bowling, which is a stereotypical first date, but it's him, so you don't really mind. 

Park Jimin is nervous. It's evident in the way he wipes his hands on his pants before he holds your hand. The way he gets quiet after laughing at one of your jokes, as if he's afraid of being too loud or happy.

"No fair!", you call, speaking through a pout. "You've got like, superhuman abilities or something. You're obviously gonna win." Crossing your arms, you shake your head. "I think we should label this as cheating."

Jimin chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not trying, though." 

You make a noise of protest. "That's even worse!" Leaning closer to him, a furrow in your eyebrows, you huff. "Are you saying I'm just plain ole bad at bowling, Park?"

"You said it, not me." It's the first joke he's made all night. You laugh, eyes closing just from the force. "I could, uh, I could help you? If you want. Since I'm so good and everything." The last part is said teasingly, and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You stand, ruffling his hair with a smile. "Teach me then." By the time you've grabbed the ball you've been using the entire time, he's right behind you. Sticking your fingers in the holes, you twist it around lightly. 

"I see why you're so bad now." You turn, opening your mouth to defend yourself. "You're not even holding the ball right, you know."

"Well, I'm sorry I was never taught bowling ball holding basics. I didn't even know you could hold one of these-"

He interrupts you with a hand on your waist, delicate and soft. His fingers rest just above the top of your jeans, brushing against soft skin. "Like this", he murmurs. Jimin's other hand adjusts your own. "And then this." He keeps his hand atop yours, and brings your arm back, helping you swing it forward. You're so focused on how close he is that you don't notice you still need to let go of the ball.

Lips brushing against the side of your cheek, Jimin hums. You shiver. "You know, this doesn't actually work unless you let go of the ball when you swing, pretty girl." 

You feel like you're going to combust. Park Jimin just called you pretty. Park Jimin, the boy you've had a crush on for months. Called you pretty. Blinking, you swing your arm back with him again, and let it go when it comes forward. Not caring if the ball hits the pins or not, you rotate, until you're face to face with him. All soft, silky hair and lips that look as soft as pillows. 

"What?" He raises an eyebrow, another pretty flush spreading over his cheeks. 

"Can I kiss you?"

The noise that comes from him mirrors the shock on his face that quickly morphs into timidness. "Like you even have to ask, Y/N." 

His lips feel even softer than they look. You've had a first kiss before, but this is the only one that's felt right. Something in you tells you that means something. When you pull away, you're smiling, breathless.

"Hey", Jimin whispers, nodding his head behind you. "You knocked down all the pins."

As he walks you home, he holds your hand.

"I'm glad we got to do this", Jimin says, and his eyes don't meet your own until you squeeze his hand tight. You think about how he'd wrapped you up in the extra sweater he'd been wearing when he'd noticed you were cold. How he'd pulled you closer when walking down the sidewalk because people were bumping into you, and had held you that way the entire way back.

"Me too." You grin, watching the pink on his cheeks spread to his ears and down his neck. His smile mirrors yours regardless. 

Jimin sighs. "I'm, um, sorry if it was lame. I know bowling is kinda...well, kinda bland for a first date-"

"It was perfect." You let your fingers detangle as you back up. "Best first date I've ever had." 

His cheeks swell with a big, boyish grin. "Next time I'll take you to the arcade downtown." A smirk. "Maybe that time you can beat me in something."

You always thought that if Jimin ever left you, you'd cry.

Not that you thought of it often, but it still came up once or twice. Every time it did, he was always right there, with soothing words and soft lips pressed against the tip of your nose. 

So, the fact that you don't cry surprises you.

You don't cry, and a part of you thinks that, if you did, it would never stop. 

Your sadness turns into anger at every reminder of him around your apartment. There's traces of him everywhere, a forced memory no matter where you step. So you keep breathing. You take a breath. 

You take a breath when you see his lunchbox he took to work with him every day. When you visit your friends and they ask how plans for the yearly Halloween party you'd always throw with him are going. When you see a news article about him and the boy's album release. You breathe.

Because you are angry with him. Angry for making you waste your time, making you think that it was you and him. That he still loved you, and that you knew him.

Going back in your head, everything had seemed fine. The two of you hardly fought, you told each other I love you every morning and every night. You still had your weekly movie nights every Friday. You laughed together. 

Nothing had changed, right? You knew him, right?

A week after he's been gone, it hits you that you never knew him that well at all.

You didn't even know him well enough to tell that he was falling out of love with you.

Two weeks after the breakup, and you no longer feel angry. You feel the dragging feeling of sadness creep up on you again. The anger probably would've stayed, but he'd come to get his stuff earlier in the week. 

He forgets a few things, but you don't say anything. Why don't you say anything?

Getting used to life without him is a process. You forget that you don't have to buy those off brand crackers he likes. You never wake up in the morning to his humming in the shower. Things...change.

The bed was never this big, was it? It always seemed small, small enough that the two of you always crowded together, legs tangled together, arms around waists.

Now, it's massive. You pull the blanket up to your chin, and even though you probably shouldn't, you press your cheek into his pillow. 

When you fall asleep, you dream of him.

His skin is bathed in moonlight, pale and soft. The two of you sit in the big clawfoot bathtub, the one you both loved, empty and fully clothed. He's quiet, and anyone else would think that's because it's nearing three in the morning, but you know him. You recognize the subtle shaking of his hands, the sweat beading at his hairline even though it was freezing inside the apartment, the way he taps his fingers together in rhythm.

You know him.

"Hey." It's the first word spoken since you'd sat down. He's facing you, curls going every which way from attempting to sleep earlier. Holding up the bag you'd snagged before you'd followed him in here, you grin. "Want some marshmallows?"

Jimin's lips twitch into a smile, and even though it disappears as quickly as it came, it's something. Massive hand plunging into the bag, he grabs a handful and proceeds to shove a few in his mouth. You settle for popping them in one by one; the small, colorful bits melt on your tongue. 

The bag empties faster than expected, so soon you have nothing to occupy yourselves. As you start to suggest opening the other bag in the pantry, he speaks.

"It's happening again", his shoulders rise up to his ears. His hands rest in between his knees, tangled together, fidgeting.

With a heavy sigh, you lay a hand across his own. "I know." Jimin's eyes meet yours, honey colored and exhausted. The bags under his eyes are more prominent than they have been, and although it's not as bad as the last few times, it's still bad.

"I don't want it to happen again."

And well, you don't quite know what to say to that. Because you don't either. This feeling was always with him, always simmering underneath the surface. It never completely disappeared, but it did get easier to deal with. It was bearable, almost nonexistent at times.

You know it hurts him, and him hurting makes you hurt. He deserves so much good, he is too good, to have so much weight on his shoulders. To be plagued with so much anxiety and pain, and for what? You don't even know the answer.

No one is perfect, as living with him for this many years often reminds you. He's definitely not. He leaves his shoes in the middle of the floor. He forgets to replace the tissue when the roll runs out. He's never had a plant that's lasted more than a week, because he's either not here or just forgets. 

So no, he's not perfect. But you know damn well he's the closest thing to it you have.

"I'll be here." You swallow, fingers slotting in between his. "I am here. No matter what, rain or shine, you know that." Jimin lifts the side of his lips into a smile. "I love you."

Switching in his spot, he turns, leaning back against your chest, rejoining your hands soon after. "I know." He brushes his lips across your knuckles. "I love you, too."

Your other hand combs through his hair, twirling curls around your fingers like thread.

The two of you don't retire to your bed until the sun begins to peak over the horizon.

You wake up with sweat beading at your hairline.

In for three, out for three.

You ignore the phantom taste of marshmallows on your tongue. A shaky hand pushes the blankets off of your body, and you're taking the familiar path to the kitchen before you can really think. There's a bag of mini marshmallows where they always are. You grab them, tearing a whole in the top as you walk towards the bathroom. 

When your back meets the familiar chill of the tub, you can feel the way your throat begins closing up. But you push it away with a hand full of marshmallows, which distracts you from the aching burn settled deep in your chest.

You've never done this alone. Every time you've sat in this exact same position, marshmallows in hand, he's been here. But there's always time for change. At least that's what you tell yourself.

You'd spent all your time in this tub with Jimin. There weren't any more of those times. No more late night baths where you just talked about your days. No more pic nics on the living room floor when you didn't feel like going out. No more hugs or I love you's or simply just seeing him across the room. 

And another. In for three, out for three. Focus on something else. Anything else but him. Your eyes switch from the wall to the bottle of soap on the ledge of the tub. Strawberries and honey. His favorite. Something else. The two towels hanging on the rack, one yellow and one red. You remember picking them out the night you moved in. It's getting harder to see with the tears in your eyes, but it's fine. It's fine.

Because you don't miss him. You can't, because the smell of strawberries and honey are fading from the pillow that's beside yours. The red towel hasn't been used in a month. There's never a box of off-brand crackers with his name on them in the cabinet anymore. And he's not here.

And you can't wish that he is. 

September is different this time.

The streets are full of people, and you're filled with a happy sort of warmth as you wait outside of a coffee shop. Rubbing your hands together, you blow warm air on them to rid yourself of the numbness starting to creep in. It's the type of cold that sets in slowly. You nudge your nose against the scarf you're wearing with a shiver.

People around you pass by with smiles, arms full of bags or holding others hands. It's peaceful.

"You're going to drop them!"

Glancing up, your eyes dart around until they find the source of the noise. There's a part of you that wishes you hadn't. A part of you that wants to shove your nose back into the fabric around your neck. 

Seeing Park Jimin is...weird.

There's a certain type of irony in the way that you see him during your first September without him. It twists and tears at you with bleeding fists.

"Jimin, let me carry some!"

The girl next to him is pretty. She's more than pretty. Jealousy ebbs in your chest for a mere moment at the smile he gives her, the way his eyes sparkle. Remembering how he used to look at you like that pours salt onto the wound. 

His hair is blond now. He looks good. Jimin had always looked good, though. There's no doubt in your mind that he's one of the prettiest people you've ever met. But he looks good. He looks like he's glowing. He looks...happy.

I'm just not...happy anymore.

"I've got it", he laughs, leaning his head back with a smile. Turning, he regains his grip on the bags, switching his gaze over, over, over. "See, like…" His eyes are sparkling. He looks happy. Is this what he meant?

I'm not happy and I don't think I make you happy anymore, either.

"Y/N?"

You quickly avert your eyes, turning and stuffing your hands into your pockets with a huff of breath you can see in the cold air. For a second, you can hear his footsteps getting closer. Of all the ways you thought you'd bump into him, it was safe to say this wasn't on the list. Seeing him wasn't on the list at all. Avoiding the problem until it went away seemed like a good enough plan.

Just as you're ready to turn around and face him, even if you really do not want to, a hand lands on your shoulder. Gentle.

The endless run on thoughts of what you're going to say become muddled as you open your eyes. 

"Sorry it took so long. Since someone wanted peppermint hot chocolate, even though they were obviously going to be running out, I had to wait a little longer." The corner of his lips lift into a grin. "Didn't mind though. Anything for you, I suppose." 

You shake your head with a smile as he hands you the cup. "Thank you." The drink warms your hands, the numbness melting away. 

"Ready to go?"

Jimin's behind you. Jimin is behind you with a girl who may not even be his girlfriend, but a girl who makes him happy. Makes him smile. 

And you think you're a little okay with it. 

You don't really have a choice, but. It's easier to swallow than you'd expected. 

You've learned to live without him. And even though there's a piece of you screaming and throwing a fit like a child that just wants and wants, you don't break. 

"Yeah. I am."

Pivoting, you walk forward. He's still relatively far away, but close enough that you can see him in your peripheral vision. Close enough that you make eye contact once more as he readjusts the bags in his arms. Close enough that you see the sparkle in his eyes.

You take a breath as your shoulders pass, mere inches of space between you. He still feels far away.

In for three, out for three. Breathe in.

It smells like strawberries and honey.

You smack your lips together as you continue on.

You're craving marshmallows.

Two Months Before

Park Jimin is scared.

Which isn't something he'd normally admit so easily. But, given the circumstances, he doesn't think too much of it.

Filling his cheeks with air, he gnaws on his bottom lip in thought. He's been chewing on it for so long he'll probably tear a whole in it, but he can't help it. Thinking back on the conversation he'd had hours before scares him. Leaves him with an unsettling feeling in his stomach. Anxious, deadly butterflies.

"How're things with Y/N?" Taehyung sits back, sipping from a stark white coffee mug. "Not that we don't see you guys every two weeks, but, you know."

Jimin laughs, shaking his head. "They're good. She's good, amazing." He's smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. 

"God, stop looking like a lovesick fool", his friend teases. He tilts his head, scoffing. "Propose already." Jimin must look as lost as he feels, because Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "You okay?"

He blinks, rolling his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm good. I guess I just...never thought about it. Marriage and stuff. I mean, I have, I just…" He shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. "Never really thought about it too in detail." Why does his stomach feel like this?

"Do you want to marry her?"

"Yes." The answer is instant. Something hidden underneath, but something all known. 

Taehyung smiles. "That was pretty fast. Are you sure you've never thought about it?"

Jimin wets his lips, clearing his throat. "Guess it just...doesn't make sense with anyone else. It makes sense with her though. It feels right."

The blue haired male across from him smirks, huffing out a laugh. "Guess you'll need a ring then, huh?"

Marriage had always been a far away concept. Something to be worried about later down the line. It seemed like, without even realising it, down the line had come sooner than he expected. He's known Y/N for five years, and while every moment has been one he wouldn't give up, it's sped by so fast. 

But when he thinks about it, it doesn't make sense if it isn't her. Nothing makes sense if it's not her. If he closes his eyes and pictures his wedding day, no matter what, in every scenario, every way you look at it, she's the one walking down the aisle. Every time. It's her.

Jimin reaches into the dresser drawer beside the bed, feeling around until he finds what he's searching for. His fingers brush against the velvet box he'd shoved in there an hour earlier. When he brings it out, the butterflies in his stomach have friends. 

He wants to marry her. He wants to do it right. He wants to put this ring on her finger and watch her eyes light up. And plan the wedding with her and discuss color schemes and where to seat guests at the reception. Wants to kiss her in front of a room of people as his wife for the first time. He wants to adopt a dog and buy a house with a backyard.

Park Jimin wants to do all of this, and he wants it to feel right, and it only feels right with her.

But if she said no. If she didn't want him the way he wanted her. Park Jimin is terrifyingly in love with her. The type of love that makes him crazy. That makes him wake up early just to pull her back into his arms, because he knows how she likes being held. Because he knows her.

So if she didn't need him like he needed her, he doesn't think he'd be able to handle it. Because she may be able to walk away and find someone new, but he won't.

She's it for him. This is it for him. He doesn't think there's ever gonna be anyone else. 

He's loved her every day since the moment he met her.

The not wanting is what might tear him to pieces. Can nervous butterflies die?

The sound of keys turning in lock nab his attention, and he jumps to his feet, heart in his throat. Something in him aches. "Jimin? I'm home!"

Rubbing his thumb over the velvet box once more, he slips it back into the drawer, way in the back. He closes it, and breathes. In for three, out for three. Jimin looks up, and puts on a smile, even with this ache.

He loves her.

"Coming!"

✒ tags : @lysjeon @goldenlilyz @savageprince7

[the-desolated-quill]

Deep Breath - Doctor Who blog (New Doctor, Same Bullshit)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I was very cross going into Deep Breath back in 2014, and before I talk about this episode, I’d like to quickly address all the bullshit that surrounded the buildup to the Twelfth Doctor.

Moffat kept saying how Series 8 was going to represent a brand new direction for the series and that this new Doctor would be so different to any we’ve seen before. He even hinted at the possibility of a female and/or non-white Doctor, saying there was no reason why it couldn’t happen. Who did we end up with? Peter Capaldi! Wow! A middle aged white guy?! Never seen one of those before!

Now before @furrychimp has a go at me, I’ve got nothing against Peter Capaldi. He’s a brilliant actor and I was confident he’d be great in the role. That’s not the issue. The problem I had was that Peter Capaldi was the only actor auditioned for the role. Moffat didn’t even try to think outside the box or look elsewhere. I’m not angry because Capaldi was cast in the role. I’m angry because of the wasted opportunity here. It was a year after the 50th anniversary. A chance to break new ground and try something different, and Moffat didn’t take it. If Moffat knew a non-white, non male Doctor wasn’t on the cards, why in God’s name did he keep banging on about it? It’s like I said in my review of A Good Man Goes To War, he’s more concerned with looking progressive than actually being progressive. Anyone can say there needs to be more diversity or that there needs to be change, but unless someone within the industry actually pulls their finger out and does something about it, those are just empty, meaningless words.

‘Oh but Capaldi is a lot older than previous Doctors.’

Bollocks! He was 55! That’s not old! And besides, we’ve had older Doctors before. He’s not even the first actor to play an older Doctor in New Who, or have we all conveniently forgotten about John Hurt all of a sudden? This is nothing new or original. And while I’m on the subject of his age, good God how fucking patronising were the press at the time? Listening to them, you’d think Capaldi was a 200 year old corpse that had arisen from his tomb and was at risk of collapsing into a pile of bones by the end of the series. The whole obsession with his age was seriously odd on both sides (those who thought this was some kind of cheap novelty and those who thought Capaldi was so weak and frail that he wouldn’t be able to get around the TARDIS without the use of a motorised wheelchair).

And then there’s the promise that the show was going to get a lot darker than it was before, to the point where the BBC pushed the show further back in the schedules so that you knew how dark this was going to get. This isn’t teatime entertainment anymore. It has to be broadcast at 8:00pm because it’s going to be so much daaaaaarker. 

Well... we’ve all seen Deep Breath. We all know that was bollocks.

Seriously, how is this any different from an episode in the Matt Smith era? (apart from the fact that Peter Capaldi is less zany and more tolerable than Matt Smith was). It still has the same goofiness and forced whimsey to it (more on that later). In fact some of the humour is actually worse than the Matt Smith era’s. When Madame Vastra tricks the Doctor into forming a psychic link with her so she can put him to sleep, they actually had the fucking nerve to add a comedy cartoon sound effect when he falls unconscious. How fucking desperate can you get?!

But what really strikes me about Deep Breath is how utterly unoriginal it all is. The clockwork robots are back from the overrated Girl In the Fireplace and they’re basically just doing the same shit as they did before only with an extra helping of stupid sprinkled onto them for good measure. ‘Don’t breathe’ is basically the same gimmick as ‘don’t blink’, but whereas ‘don’t blink’ made the Weeping Angels bloody terrifying, ‘don’t breathe’ just makes the clockwork robots laughably inept. A lot of the plot is similar to The Talons Of Weng-Chiang and we’ve seen dinosaurs in London before in Invasion of The Dinosaurs. Not to mention all the lines taken straight from the classic series that Moffat is determined to grind into the dirt (I swear if I hear the ‘you’ve redecorated’ gag one more time, I’m going to scream). Is this what constitutes a brave new direction now? Rehashing plots and concepts from previous stories rather than coming up with your own ideas? Moffat, go stick one of your BAFTAs up your arse. Best place for it as far as I’m concerned.

What’s worse is that this episode has been extended to an hour and 15 minutes, most of which seems to consist of extra scenes of the Paternoster Gang being their usual unfunny selves. At this point it’s not just that they’re boring, underdeveloped and utterly uninteresting characters that bothers me, but also that they are making the Doctor’s universe too small. The man has travelled all across time and space, Surely he must know some other people who would be willing to help him. Why do we keep having to come back to the Paternosters? Strax is still fucking irritating (how can he not tell the difference between an eye and a mouth? Humans and Sontarans aren’t that different. And what was even the fucking point of that medical checkup anyway other than to pad out the runtime?), and I really take issue with how Vastra and Jenny are written. I’ve taken issue with how Moffat presents LGBT characters in his stories before, but this just takes the cake. The episode constantly finds ways to patronise and objectify Jenny while Vastra plays a ‘man with boobs’ type role. And it gets worse when Clara gets involved and we see Vastra start to morph into the predatory lesbian stereotype. Call me picky, but I think we deserve better representation that that. And don’t get me started on that bullshit ‘oxygen share’ kiss. Doctor Who has never been apologetic about two heterosexuals kissing, so why should it treat two homosexuals any differently? It’s just wrong! If they’re open and okay about same sex marriage, why are they being so coy about two lesbian partners being intimate with each other?

So let’s talk about the Twelfth Doctor. Despite my anger and frustration towards the circumstances surrounding his casting, I knew Capaldi would make a great Doctor and he does do a good job in the role for the most part. I liked the stuff at the beginning where the Doctor is really confused and was having memory problems. You could almost draw parallels between him and someone suffering from a memory disorder like Alzheimer’s and it’s genuinely unnerving to see the Doctor in such a high level of distress. I also really liked his final confrontation with the robot and the moral ambiguity of whether or not he pushed him. This is a very different Doctor from Matt Smith and I’m curious to see where they take him (remember I haven’t seen any episodes past Kill The Moon, so I genuinely have no idea what happens to him). Unfortunately all of this is punctured by the usual shit you find in post regeneration episodes. A lot of crazy goofiness and pondering over whether or not this is the same man as before. Admittedly the latter was interesting at first, and The Christmas Invasion did add some dramatic weight to it what with the Doctor being the last of his race and therefore having a more personal connection with Rose than he did with any other companion as a result, but after the twelfth time you’ve done it, you’re just bored by this point. Is the Doctor the same person as before? Er... Kind of. That should be firmly established by now considering the number of bloody times the show has asked this question. Can we move on?

A lot of times I feel Capaldi is scuppered by the humour. He can be a great comedic actor, but this sort of material just doesn’t work with him. It’s too whimsical and eccentric, like the whole sequence with the horse or him calling the dinosaur a big sexy woman. It feels like Moffat is still writing for Matt Smith and it just doesn’t sound right coming out of Capaldi’s mouth. And then there’s the painfully obvious metaphors. There’s a lot you could interpret about the Doctor from what you see on screen. The similarities between him and the robot, and how they both change and replace body parts to the point where you could argue they’re not the same people they originally were. The similarities between him and Vastra, both hiding behind some kind of mask in order to feel accepted. All potentially interesting, but what ruins it is Moffat’s need to fucking spell it out for us. How about crediting your audience with some intelligence?

I really hope Chris Chibnall doesn’t go through all this shit when Jodie Whittaker takes over. In my view, all post regeneration episodes should be like The Eleventh Hour. New body, new personality and then it’s business as usual.

But by far the worst aspect of Deep Breath is Clara. I can understand being worried about the Doctor’s memory problems and state of mind, but that’s clearly not the case at all. Clara is more concerned that the Doctor has gotten visibly older, which is beyond absurd. She’s seen all of the previous Doctors. She’s met the War Doctor. Why should the Twelfth Doctor be a shock to her? Vastra says it’s because the Doctor is no longer young and sexy and, no matter how much Clara tries to deny it, that’s pretty much the only reason I can think of why she’d be angry at the Doctor. I honestly can’t see any other alternative. It doesn’t make any sense why she would be this shocked about the Doctor’s regeneration. At one point she even asks how they change him back. It just makes her come across as really shallow and selfish (not a narcissist or an egomaniac. Seriously Moffat, try browsing a dictionary some time). But what really gets me is that the episode clearly expects you to be on Clara’s side, even going so far as to try to imply that the Doctor is so different now that he has at one point abandoned Clara and left her to die, which I didn’t buy for a second. The First Doctor may well have done that, but he’s a very different man by now. Does she have to stay as the companion? They even wheel out Matt Smith again for yet another goodbye speech to reassure her about Peter Capaldi, which was just plain silly. I suspect the BBC were a little worried that people wouldn’t accept an older, less romantic Doctor. I think the BBC need to have a bit more faith in the audience. May I remind everyone that Doctor Who lasted nearly 30 years without the need to shove in any Doctor/companion romances or snogging and people loved it?

And finally we get Michelle Gomez pissing about in a garden. Who is this mysterious and clearly crazy woman who appears to have intimate knowledge of the Doctor? Gee, it couldn’t be the Master, could it? Oh no! Of course not! The Master is a man! And besides, Moffat would NEVER do a plot twist that bloody obvious.

So what is the Promised Land? I don’t know and I don’t really care to tell you the truth. i’ve become so sick and tired of Moffat’s convoluted series arcs and endless intrigue that I honestly can’t even muster up the energy to even be mildly curious about it.

Deep Breath is an uncreative, boring and lazy start to Series 8. That being said, the Twelfth Doctor does show promise. We’ll see where they go from here.

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🥀🥀🥀🥀An Izzy Martinez Film (There's 4 Parts && Part 4 (Episodes 7, 8, and 9) Coming S00n. "Ate My Sanity;" is a film about Shawna Vandiego (i play mostly all the characters) whos mind has been twisted and turned. Every part of this movie lasts an 1hour or more. The plot changes up a lot. Thid movie is basically a less explicit version of my life. The original name i gave it was "Im Fine,No Light,No Lie" or "IFNLNL" but i changed it but its alresdy set up to be in the original title i gave this movie. Btw TRIGGER WARNING!!! Some of this is not acting xx •Definition of Im Fine, No Light, No Lie __Im Fine: Shawnas acting like shes fine so she can help others. But her life(based on mine) has been hell/trauma/Torture occurring 24/7 since from 2001-2018) x every day its a struggle to stay alive, her "im fines" are obviously lies (to some ppl) __No Light: shawna injured her brain multiple times, Ariel Marquez told her "i look into your eyes and i see nothing, no light, absolutely nothing" shes just a body with no living part of her or "dead inside". __No Lie: Shawna has split personalitys, every single mental illness, and is diahnosex "critically insane/criminally insane" && she tries to fuck the system, but Angelique or "Angel" tells her, you cry, you die. But no crime, no lie___💙 Shawna “Seane/Sean” Vandiego is a girl living life on the positive & sometimes wild side after years and her whole life full of pain, tries to live like it never happened . XxzxX she’s very misunderstood and tries to fool everybody by acting like nothings wrong. Full of life but soon starts to fade away. While Jose Vandiego, her brother tries to help her, (while having an affair with her stepmom., and bullying her 2 death) but she still can’t function x she goes insane. Her mom Erika Vandiego is clueless (she is Extremly deathly physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally abusive) When Shawna starts to act out... people notice but in the wrong way. While popping pills, acting out dangerously, and developing another eating disorder , Shawna makes a turn for the worse...Shawnas deceased father Sean Vandiego tortured her to death. Shawna Vandiego (based on my life) has been thru mostly every traumatic thing there is and experienced mostly everything and done mostly it all and shes had brutally traumatizing explicit and fucked up torture pain and bad experiences since since from 2001-2018, occurring nonstop 24/7, Her alter whilst she raises hell Tyler X Alvaro. She's so fucked up she can't function. Sandra Sanchez (played by me) is a staff at the mental hospital who gets attached to her, Shawna Vandiego caused so much trouble she still doesn't know reality. she finally meets Ariel Joey Marquez/Chavez who revived her after another near death experience, Ariel Joey Marquez is 22 years old (played by me) she was raised with an abusive mother (Elaine Marquez , played by Sasha Pierce) , her dad is deceased and Ariel ends up in a mental hospital, she meets Shawna at an unexpected time, while recovering from drugs, alcohol and mental illnesses (PTSD as well) she finds herself losing control and wants to end it all, While Shawna is in a near death situation , Ariel decides to take her troubled ways to get inside her . Amen. Seane Fiasco Vandiego is 1 of Shawna's Alters, she appears in Episode 7 of Part 4, it shows her life which the plot changes so it can show her life and how she came about. Then Sean Vandiego another one of her alters appears in episode 8. Again changing the plot. 🥀. Shawna Vandiego played by me, Izzy Martinez. Erika Vandiego played by Sasha Pierce , Jose Vandiego played by Markous Swrtes. Renee Rios, Dominic Lopez-Huerta, another patient, gets inside her head and fucks up her life a whole lot.&Jonathan "Richie" Gonzalez played by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez, Gladdis Mendoza-Vandiego played by Sasha Pierce, Ariel Joshua Marquez&Angel Manriquez played by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🥀🥀 All characters movie editing, filming by me. Movie created/owned by me. Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez. [At the end of all the parts of the film, *Part 4/4 Episode 8* there will be the afterstory. It has a total of 20 parts.] [1. Shawnas Episodes, 2. Ariel + Shawna, 3. Tyler X Alvaro Comes 2 The End, 4. Shawnas Clockwork, 5. Ace 2 Fate, 6. Fate 2 Ace, 7. Mania and Shawna Goes Inzane, 8. I’m Fine, 9. No Light, 10. No Lie, 11. I’m Not Fine, 12. I’m Not Light, 13. I’m Not Lie, 14. A Count 2 Oh No’s, 15. A To Z, Shawna, 16. A to Z, Sean, 17. A to Z Seane, 18. Shawna Vandiego, 19. I’m Lie, I’m Light, I’m Fine, 20. Shawna x Endz Under The Law x Goodnight.] Cameos Created And Performed By Me: Alex Chavez, Michael Lopez, Jonathan Mendoza, Sandra Sanchez, Ronnie Rios, Tony Rios, And Adrianna Rios. All in the last part (which I’m working on with Shawna absent and out of the picture.)~Everything Created, Owned, And Made By Me xx🥀🥀🥀🥀