#'see! see! this man hates women! he wants to kill his ex girlfriend! pay no attention to the racism behind the curtain'

[constantvariations]

I find it curious that you're willing to examine the racism plot only insofar as it pertains to your favored character while not giving any grace of thought to the plot's literal face

There are so many problems with Adam Taurus's writing that each point would need its own presentation complete with diagrams and scheduled bathroom breaks, but it all comes back to the fact that two whites dudes thought they could allegory the racism and did absolutely zero things to make it respectful

Because of this, Adam is barely a character and he certainly isn't written like one. Everything he's done since he was truly brought into the plot has been less about what someone would actually do in that situation and more about what would make the audience disregard him blindly. He's a hate sink, plain and simple

Which he shouldn't be. In a topic this heavy and sensitive, there needs to be nuance to everything, especially if you're on the outside. Adam should have been Blake's counter, his violence to her peace. They should have had dialogue, actual proper dialogue about their ideologies: why they believe their method is the best way, how they came to believe so strongly, and, considering their long history, maybe try to get the other back on their side

Instead we have "violence good >:)" and "violence bad :'("

Riveting.

This discussion over protest methods becomes especially damning when you consider who has which views

The Belladonnas live in a spacious mansion on an overcrowded island, complete with servants and round the clock bodyguards. They're a whole and loving family, supportive and forgiving of one another

Ilia lost her parents in a mining accident while hiding her minority status to go to a high class school. Her classmates laughed at the tragedy

Adam has no family to speak of and nothing to hint at his past besides the Schnee Dust Company initials branded over his eye

I don't blame them for choosing violence. I do blame the writers for flattening the entire argument into a neoliberal circle jerk while throwing several of the show's highest potential characters to the wolves. Everyone deserved better than this

The White Fang Arc Is Racist

I'm saying this as someone who really, genuinely adores RWBY as a show: The way the White Fang arc was written is racist.

(Note: I'm not saying the writers are racist, I'm saying that the story they wrote, as it stands, has racist elements. Describing people as racist is usually less helpful than describing actions or choices as racist.)

Remember:

Simply put: They should have either a) introduced Sienna Khan much, much earlier, and made it abundantly clear that Adam was going rogue, or b) not killed her off, or c) both.

The problem with Adam Taurus isn't that he's a villain, an abusive piece of shit, or that he ended up being killed by Blake and Yang. The problem is that he's taken as the be-all and end-all of violent Faunus resistance to human persecution. In the show as we have it, Adam's White Fang is the only example we have of Faunus rights activists who are willing to use violence. The show polarizes between the Good Activists who never use violence and instead try to Set An Example and Earn The Humans' Respect, and the Bad Activists who are siding with Salem, who blow up cities and unleash Grimm into schools and cut off Yang's arm - and against whom violence by Team RWBY is therefore justified. This implies that violence against Faunus rights activists is OK as long as they're Bad Activists, but violence by Faunus rights activists is not, because that would make them Bad Activists.

And this is, I think, why they tried to backpedal by introducing Sienna Khan. She is, in my opinion, a great character. Ghira's speech in V5C3 made clear that while he, as a character, doesn't approve of her violent methods, her goal is that of equality. She's a good person with just goals who also uses violence where necessary - the same as Robyn Hill, or Team RWBY themselves.

But she should have been brought up much, much, much earlier. By casting Adam as the leader of the White Fang in Volumes 2 and 3, the entire White Fang is cast as villains who are working with the known evil of Cinder. If they'd even mentioned Sienna Khan earlier - maybe had some White Fang grunts express reservations about going behind her back, or have Adam lie to her about his plans - it would have made it clear that Adam is going rogue and acting on his own personal bullshit.

But they didn't do that.

So V4 rolls around, and Sienna is mentioned by the Albains, only for them to be revealed to also be working for Adam. Bleh. Finally, Sienna appears in V5 - much too late - and dresses down Adam for his bullshit. And this could have been the point where Adam fully goes rogue, splits off on his own, and tries to go after Blake. Hell, he could still have launched a coup, and we could have gotten a season of Sienna and Ghira having to put aside their differences to stop him - since, as Blake points out in V5, Haven falling wouldn't materially help the Faunus at all. It's a plan wholly composed by Salem to get the Relic. That story could have ended with Sienna retaking control of the White Fang, maybe with her and Ghira having both learned from the situation - Sienna learning not to allow the conditions that let someone like Adam's influence grow unchecked, and Ghira learning that sometimes violence is the only viable option. They could both renew their commitment to Faunus equality, and to working together in the future to get it.

But no, they don't do that. Instead, they kill Sienna off, and flatten the nuance back down to Good Activists Who Are Peaceful vs. Bad Activists Against Whom It Is OK To Be Violent (and OK to inflict police violence towards.)

Adam is a good villain, a perfect representation of someone who's decided that justice is impossible, so the next best thing is revenge. But without Sienna Khan present in the story to provide important nuance, Adam's presence as a villain makes him representative of all violent praxis, and in condemning him, the story also condemns that praxis.

And that's racist.

[holeintheboat]

The Outsiders Mafia AU (Headcanons)

!!WARNING: This may contain some spoilers!!!

-Johnny loves Jazz (blues are a close second)

-Darrel is called ‘Superman’ because he once stopped mid getaway to help a woman cross the street

-The entire mafia group worships Frank Sinatra

-Tim got his scar in a violent one-on-one fight with Dallas, which also led to him losing the eye

-Johnny is a FANTASTIC cook, and shares his love through food

-Ponyboy used to watch a ton of Mafia/Secret Agent movies to ‘study’ for his future job

-The Shepherds are all from Sicily, and lived there for most of their teen years

-Johnny learned to speak several languages so that he make international deals

-Angela puts hours of efforts into her curls, and once killed a man for trying to run his fingers through them to flirt

-Curly prides himself in his height, he grew to the same height as Tim just a year before the events of ‘No Permanent Death’ and loves to remind everyone

-Johnny actually has a hatred for alcohol, but drinks it (or pretends to) to make himself seem older

-Tim will only ever drink beer

-Dallas became an assassin because he wanted to be like Charlie Chan and almost quit when he realized the man was, in fact, not an assassin

-Johnny has faked his own death about six times, and has gotten creepily good at it

-Darry hates swearing, and only does it when he’s very very upset

-Darrel is the only Curtis who can speak more than just English, He learned Italian so he could understand exposed messages within the Mob

-Dallas has actually run into the Shepherds several times, he never realized Johnny was Bambi because usually the boss doesn’t participate in the fights

-The socs do exist in this universe!! Most of them are businessmen/women who the mob has killed :P

-Sylvia also exists!! She is Dally’s ex-girlfriend, she left him after she figured out he kills people for a living

-Soda and Steve are still dating Evie and Sandy in this verse. Sandy isn’t aware of what Soda does, Evie actually is also a member of the mob and often helped out Steve at work

-When Mr.Shepherd died, all of his jewelry was given to Johnny because he was taking his place. The only thing he kept was a ring (a thick, gold, engraved ring with a red ruby) the rest was given to the Shepherds to disperse amongst themselves

-The Shepherds each got one ear pierced when they were teens to be more like their father

-Johnny sees the Shepherds as his equals, which is the reason they all dress similarly. This is also why it doesn’t occur to someone that he is the boss.

-Angelas callsign “Bella” comes from the word Bello: which means Beautiful in Italian

-Johnny once shot a very important client just because they shoved Curly

-Curly is actually really bad at his job, but gets away with it because of pure luck

-Soda got the name ‘Dice’ because he's known for taking chances on the job

-Johnny called Tim ‘Scarface’ after he lost his eye in an attempt to raise his spirits, and the name just stuck

-Tim has a glass eye, but often takes it out because he thinks its funny how grossed out his coworkers get

-Johnny wanted to be a musician, and can play the sax and guitar (he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be Louis Armstrong or Chuck Berry lmao)

-Curly wholeheartedly thought he and Johnny were related for most of his life, because he wasn’t on the mission where they found him

-Johnny gives out most of the nicknames, he was actually the first person to call Darry ‘Superman’

-The Sicilian Mafia is usually very specific about only letting in Italians. Johnny called bullshit on this, and that's how Steve(slick) and Buck(comma) got put in

-Steve used to work at the DX, he got invited in to the mafia because he was the only one who was willing to take Johnny’s car (all of his former coworkers thought a scruffy child with a century old car wouldn’t pay well)

-Buck got invited in after Tim and Johnny saw a man throw a drink on him (he beat the man to a pulp and Johnny said he had good enough aim to work for them)

-Angela LOVES compliments (She forces her brothers to hype her up 24/7)

-Johnny holds large dinners with everyone who works under him once a month to get to know them. The reason so many people are willing to take orders from him is because they know he’s the kindest boss they’ll get

-Tim is incredibly well-versed in dressing wounds, it's become somewhat of his job

-Curly cannot aim for shit, and has repeatedly just handed the gun to someone else

-The Curtis’s used to have a dog before Ponyboy was born, but they had to get rid of it to be able to pay for his upbringing

-Curly is known for full-on tackling people in fights, which actually works incredibly well

-Johnny is a horrible driver and has hit several pedestrians, animals, and trees (and got very upset after each one)

-Ponyboy has a binder that he uses as a dairy, he had pages dating back to his parents death

-Curly once tried to tackle Darry on a mission, Darry then simply pulled him off and tossed him out of the room

-Darrel refuses to do any work that involves a woman, and has lost to the Shepherds several times because he wouldn’t detain Angela

-Soda once drove a getaway car straight into the side of a building, and it almost got him and Darry killed

-Johnny paid for Steve to get braces, and he had the nickname ‘Lock Jaw’ for a VERY long time

-The Curtis’s often have movie nights!!

-Johnny refuses to hurt children, and often makes someone take the kid to another room if they do anything violent

-Ponyboy LOVES the arts, and his knowledge of Italian literature and art has saved him many times

-Angela is an excellent baker, and often tries to get her brothers to help her (they fuck it up every single time)

-Ponyboy still has nightmares in this universe, and has climbed into Soda/Darrys bed several times

-Darry hates that Pony often sees him as the bad guy, but knows he has to be to keep him safe

-Johnny is known for having an odd sense of humor and it has almost gotten him killed a million times

-Tim has “la famiglia” tattooed on his right bicep, with three little hearts under it (very similar to the one his father has on his neck)

-Though Steve doesn’t have and important role in the Mafia, him and Johnny are very good friends

-Tim is what's known as the ‘consigliere’ which means he serves as an adviser to the leader and resolves disputes within the family. (Johnny refused to make anyone the underboss because he didn’t like to think of any of them beneath him in rank)

-Ponyboy is a stargazer

-Johnny was been confused for a girl several times due to his long hair, but he refuses to cut it

-Tim gets very upset when people flirt with Angela (he’s the definition of a over-protective older brother)

-Johnny has never dated anyone- he knows whomever they are will be put in danger, and he doesn’t like the thought of people he loves fearing for their lives

-Soda once got a concussion because he ran into a wall during a chase with Curly, Curly only remembers him as ‘the wall kisser’

-The Shepherds all have a violent hatred for Ponyboy because Johnny told them about what happened in the first chapter (though Johnny has never spoken about him with even an ounce of malice)

-Darrel has been shot many times, so much so that the hospital knows him by name

-Johnny can’t stand hospitals because his parents once left him at one for three weeks. So even if he is on his damn deathbed he will NEVER go to one

-Just about everyone in the Mafia is not proud to be in it, but they all know it’s the best thing they can do with their backgrounds

-Buck and Johnny are rather close, and Buck often makes him fake drinks (ones without alcohol) because he knows how much the boy hates it

-Darry and Soda are both REALLY into cars. it’s actually helped them a lot in car chases, because they can always remember the make and model of the car

-The Shepherd Family was actually not very well known until Johnny took over, but he still worships Mr.Shepherd as if he’s the most famous man on earth

-most named characters has been to prison at one point (aside from Angela, Curly, Ponyboy, and Darrel)

-The job as Boss is incredibly stressful, and Tim has taken over for Johnny on several occasions

-Tim taught Angela, Curly, and Johnny hand-to-hand combat. He’ll often brag about it to anyone who will listen.

-Johnny goes by the Shepherd name, and only signs ‘Cade’ under important documents

-Angela has the best aim out of her entire family

-Tim actually was very upset when Johnny got his job as boss, but got over when he realized just how much the job SUCKEDD

-Two-Bit and Dallas worked together when they were rookies, but Dallas eventually moved on to do bigger and better things

-Ponyboy loves August weather, but feels he can’t enjoy those months becuase that’s when his folks died

-Two has run into Angela several times and made several (failed) attempts to flirt with her

-Johnny and Dallas have actually had several conversations in this universe, But Dallas never thought he was worth killing

-Sometimes random pastries/foods would appear on the Curtis doorstep during the Great Depression, they never knew where or who it came from but it helped them to survive (take a wild guess who made them lol)

-Johnny used to play the guitar while Angela sang to help Curly sleep <3

-Darry has never once touched a cigarette, but will drink jus tan out anything put in front of him

-Pony LOVES Italian food, but refuses to eat it because it just feels wrong to him

-Red is Angela’s favorite color, which is why the whole group is forced to wear something red (she picks out their clothes literally every day)

-Mrs.Shepherd died while giving birth to Curly, so Johnny and Curly have both never met her

-The Shepherds love spring because it reminds them of Sicily

-Bucks original nickname was FAG (Funny Accent Guy), given to him by Curly

-The Curtis brothers were all relatively short as kids, but shot up the second they hit puberty

-Tim tried to kidnap Louis Armstrong for Johnny's birthday (it did not work.)

-The Mafia has two main cover restaurants. One being a bar (that we see in the first chapter) and the other being an off-brand Italian place (Whenever someone fails an important job, they are banished to work at one of these two places)

-Johnny is the shortest person on his team, so he’ll often just step on their feet when they upset him

-Darrel is an avid people watcher

-Johnny actually looked up to many of the agents, and will excitedly tell people whenever he gets in a fight with one of them (even if he completely beats their ass he's still a total fanboy)

-Dallas has a really good memory, and can easily recall every fight he’s ever been in

If you have any other things you want me to write into the story, but them into the comments :D

[berkmansimagines]

champagne problems

A/N: Just wanted to write something short & sweet! This was fun to write 🍾🍾🍾🍾

Summary: You swipe an expensive bottle of champagne from a job and share it with Barry.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!wife reader

You kinda fucked up at work tonight. You killed a prospective client during a meeting. You let your anger get the best of you. Your handler, Diane, is pissed at you for ruining the deal and missing out on a big pay day. But you have no regrets.

It all started when Diane set up a meeting between you and a man named Logan. Logan was your typical millionaire asshole. You met him alone in a nice office. He had a bar cart full of expensive alcohol, including some bottles worth more than your monthly rent. He offered you a drink. You declined.

Logan was being fake nice to you. He was trying to wine and dine you in order to get you to do a job for him, but you could tell he was a massive prick. You did not take him seriously. 

Then Logan told you about the job. He wanted you to take out his ex-girlfriend. He made this huge public proposal for her in front of all their friends and family. She turned him down and ended the relationship right then and there. Logan was humiliated, heartbroken and hateful.

"She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head,” he said.

Everything about the job request pissed you off. The people you usually take out are bad dudes, like complete pieces of shit. Logan’s ex-girlfriend did nothing wrong. All she did was turn him down. Women shouldn’t die because they tell a man “no”. You refused to do the job.

When you turned down the hit, Logan cussed you out. He told you that he was going to find a guy that would do the job better than you. You were fuming. You couldn’t let Logan get away with murdering an innocent woman. 

And that’s when you snapped.

You bashed Logan’s skull in with one of his bottles of Dom Pérignon. You hit him repeatedly and expected the bottle to break at some point during the attack, but miraculously it didn’t. You took that as a sign that the expensive champagne shouldn’t go to waste. You decided to take it home to share with your husband. There’s still blood on the bottle but you can destroy the evidence of your crime after you finish drinking the champagne.

Barry is still at acting class when you arrive home, so you pop the champagne bottle yourself. While waiting for Barry to get back, you go out to the balcony to have a cigarette. You bring the champagne with you. You’re drinking directly from the bottle. You stand leaning against the railway, watching the night sky. You’re trying to find a star but it's difficult with all the LA smog.

You hear the sliding door open and turn around to find Barry stepping out onto the balcony. Your face lights up when you see him.

“Hey babe!”

Barry spots the bottle of champagne in your hand.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Just a little something I brought home from work,” you coyly answer.

You give Barry the bottle before moving around him to ash out your cigarette in the ashtray. Then you plop down onto the seat. You nod at your husband to come join you.

Now that Barry is holding the champagne bottle up close, he can finally see the blood. You notice Barry eyeing it. You quietly shrug, brushing it off.

“You don’t want to know…”

Barry simply nods his head and sits down beside you. He changes the subject - 

“This looks like a nice bottle. I bet it’s expensive.”

“I know! It’s some fancy shit, right? It’s like $300 per bottle,” you tell him.

Barry raises his eyebrows.

“Fuck! So that’s how the other half lives,” he sighs.

He gives the bottle back to you.

���Lived,” you correct him and take another sip of champagne, “It even tastes expensive.”

You hand the bottle back to Barry before sliding over to sit on his lap.

“Wanna get drunk and fool around?” you ask suggestively.

Barry smirks, looking you up and down. 

“Oh yeah.” 

Your husband wraps his arm around you and takes a swig from the champagne bottle. Then he leans in close and kisses you.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

WandaNat x Reader : Inhale pt. 2

Summary: She never ceases to surprise you.

Warning: Smoking, Cursing, One Suggestive Joke

Word Count: 1,998

Part 1

* * * * * *

The white paint stares back at you as you lay on your bed. Your view of the ceiling is obscured by the red ball you toss up into the air. It gets slightly smaller as it moves away from you, then larger as it falls back down. 

Your hand catches it and throws it back up into the air, repeating the same process as the tv plays on monotonously from the corner of the room.

Boredom has been washed over you for the past few days. Your girlfriends went on a mission last week. You were able to pass the time during the first week, keeping yourself distracted by hanging around the team, training with Steve, going for a run every time your fingers twitched towards the cigarettes you had hidden in your closet. All of that was failing to work right now.

It seems, though, that you don’t have to suffer through it much longer. F.R.I.D.A.Y chimes up after hours of quiet with an alert that Natasha and Wanda were back and heading to the room. 

You instantly perk up, pushing yourself to a sitting position on the bed and glancing at the door frequently, ready for your girls to walk in. Except they don’t.

The gleeful, happy to be home, response you were expecting is replaced by their clearly upset demeanors. A frown sits on Wanda’s face like you’ve never seen and Natasha’s expression remains neutral. 

They don’t acknowledge you save for a glance in your direction. Both of them go into the closet and quickly change into more comfortable clothes. In an instant afterwards they’re leaving out. And you’re left beyond confused.

With the possible reasons for their behavior and clear attitudes in your head, you don’t take offense to it. You give them some time to cool off, going back to tossing your ball in the air and catching it as you watch tv. 

Around an hour or two later you decide they’re fine now, or at least fine enough to talk to. So you get up, heading first to the kitchen to grab a bottle of cold water and then to the general training room. 

The sound of familiar huffs and the pounding of fists against a leather bag let’s you know your assumption was right. Your redheaded love is off to the fair side of the gym, headphones in her ears as she beats on the punching bag. 

You smirk at the sight of her. Not only do her yoga pants and sports bra look great on her, you always find her focused and slightly aggressive expression kind of hot. She glances at you as you approach and you know she can hear you despite her headphones.

Stopping behind the bag, you lean on it, showing off your smirk to the woman.“ If you really want to work off your frustrations I can think of a good way to do so.” Natasha grunts, rolling her eyes and focusing on punching the bag. 

With a sigh, you move to her side, gently taking her taped up hands and moving in front of her. Forest green eyes look into yours and you give her your best encouraging smile. She knows what your silent question is and sighs.

“The mission went south. We suffered a civilian casualty and others got hurt.” Her expression and tone remain neutral but obviously she’s upset about this. It isn’t her first time dealing with this kind of thing from a mission but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate every bit of it. 

“I’m sorry to hear that baby.” You raise your hands to her arms and gently rub them, squeezing a little in between.

Natasha’s heart warms at your soft comforts.“ I’ll be okay. Wan is more torn up than I am. She-” The woman shakes her head,“ she blames herself.” 

You frown, prepared to ask for more details. Then you figure you can ask the girlfriend who’s more deeply affected by it. 

“I’ll go talk to her.” Natasha nods at your words.“ You gonna be okay?” A teasing smile forms on your lips.“ I know you’re my super tough ex-assassin but I’m here if you want to talk.”

Her lips tug up in the corner at your teasing words, but it quickly becomes a sincere smile when you offer your ear. Slowly reaching up, she runs the pad of her thumb along the apple of your cheek.“ I’m okay detka. I’ll let you know if I need to talk. Or your other services.” 

You chuckle softly and nod. Leaning forward, you press a soft, quick kiss to her lips and part, heading off to find your other girlfriend. The not so tough witchy one you love just as much. 

Finding the woman proved to be a little harder than you thought it would be. She wasn’t in any of the places you thought she would be in: the library, the theater, the common room. You wrack your brain for ideas as to where she is and when the last place pops into mind, you can’t believe you hadn’t thought of it first.

It’s a quick jog to the elevator and an even shorter ride up to the top floor. From there you take the stairs up to the roof. 

She’d stolen this spot from you a few months after you started dating. She and Natasha found you up there smoking once and through the year and a half she would find you up here, sometimes sneaking a smoke when you shouldn’t be. 

Her long brown tresses fall down her back freely, the rest of her beauty hidden as she faces away from you. Though you still find her insanely cute that she’s in your hoodie and some stretch pants. 

The long slow straightening of her form clues you in on her deep breath, her body relaxing as she lets it go. You only get a little confused when she pauses and does it again. A thought that you’re unsure of, but the physical cues make you curious. The familiar movement of her arm, the deep breath, the pause. 

“Wan?” You call with an indescribable look on your face. 

Your brunette girlfriend’s shoulders drop and she turns to you. Immediately your eyes focus on the small cylinder in between her fingers, watching as it rises and rests between her lips. 

She takes a quick pull, pauses, let’s a little smoke go, then it all comes out in a straight shot that disperses in the air. It’s such a smooth combination of actions that leaves you wondering if she’d done this before. 

Deciding to hold your comment on that until after she’s completely calm, you take a different route. Approaching her still pacing form, you cross your arms and ask,“ was it that bad?” 

A snort leaves her lips and she takes another drag.“ Worse.” 

“Tell me.” Your hand reaches for her free one and you pull her towards you as you sit on the ledge of the roof. 

Her hand squeezes yours. Your eyes drop from her green ones to her lips as they wrap around the cylinder again, cheeks caving a little, then her lips puckering slightly as she pushes the smoke out. 

“I heard Natasha get hurt,” she starts, fingers once again tightening around yours,“ I looked away for a split second and he got away. We caught him but not until after he shot the tires out on a car. It flipped and crashed into another one.” Her jaw clenches, eyes glossing with tears.“ He hurt a man and his son and- and killed a woman.”

A heavy sigh leaves your lips and you stand, pulling her a little closer to your form. You’d been down this road a number of times. Being on the Avengers team since the beginning almost, you know exactly what it’s like to make a mistake and have others pay for it. It was a deep hole that never ceased to make you hate yourself. But you didn’t want Wanda feeling that way. 

“Hey,” you reach a hand up to cup her cheek, looking into her eyes,“ I know that it hurts. And it’s easy to blame yourself. But it’s not your fault. He made the choices that resulted in that woman losing her life, not you.” 

“But I’m supposed to be the hero. I’m supposed to save people. And I didn’t.” Her accent thickens as she gets choked up, eyes glossing over.

You sigh, taking the cigarette from her hand and putting it out on the ledge, then pull her into your arms. Her head rests on your shoulder and her hands slip up to your shoulder blades.“ You are a hero. A great hero. However, you’re not a perfect one. None of us are. It sucks in situations like this but you can’t save everyone no matter how much we want to. It doesn’t make you a bad person or any less of a hero.”

From the flicker of emotions in her eyes, you can tell it’s still going to take some time for her to cope with this. Still though you see a glimpse of that soft look and you can also see that she believes you to a certain extent.

Raising your hand, you gently push the corner of her lips up. She whines and turns her head away, noncommittally pushing at your side. It makes you laugh and she presses her forehead against your chest.

“Wanna tell me where you got that cigarette from?” You ask. 

She pulls away, producing a pack of cigarettes. Brows furrowing, you flip the top up and count the cigarettes inside. There were four missing.

“Did you smoke four whole cigarettes before I got up here?” An incredulous tone laces your words, disbelief flooding your system. 

Has your habit rubbed off on her? You know she and Nat found it attractive but did that lead Wanda to try it? It’s a terribly unhealthy habit, which is why your girlfriends wanted you to stop, and you certainly didn’t want Wanda getting into it.

“No, I didn’t smoke four. I got these from your boot in the closet,” she tells you.“ Which means you smoked them.”

“I-” you try to think of what to say.“ That was over the course of a few weeks. I haven’t had one in months though.” You know you didn’t need to give her an explanation but you wanted her to know you were still doing well. 

Wanda and Natasha were very well aware of your progression towards quitting. They could even tell the difference in your behavior. Both women were incredibly proud and admittedly you were proud of yourself as well. You had confidence you would be able to completely quit in the fairly near future. 

The younger woman smiles softly at you,“ I know you haven’t. And you don’t have to worry about me starting. It’s actually very nasty and I didn’t feel it did anything for my stress.” 

“Good. I don’t want you forming an addiction and I don’t want to die if Nat found out you’d started by smoking my cigarettes.” 

“She knows now.” 

Nearly jumping a foot in the air, you turn around to see your other girlfriend smirking a little at you. A nervous chuckle leaves your lips and you scratch the back of your neck. 

Rolling her eyes, Natasha steps to the side to stand beside you and Wanda. Her hand slipping into yours, the other held up towards Wanda. 

Wanda sighs and places the pack of cigarettes in Natasha’s hand. The redhead pockets them then takes the younger woman’s hand.“ Neither of you smoke again.” She states plainly. 

Looking at Wanda, you both nod.“ Never again Miss Romanoff.” You and Wanda say simultaneously, bright smiles shown to Natasha.

It’d be harder than that for you but not impossible. Especially not with the support and encouragement of the two women you loved and needed the most.

* * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows​ @natasha-danvers​ @blackxwidowsxwife​ @yumusak-yastik​ @b-5by5​ @fayhar​ @lostandsearching​ @iliketozoneout​ @ecruzsalaz

[fuckthesworld]

FREEDOM TO DESIRE

CEO MITCH RAPP AU

MITCH RAPP x Reader

Warnings: SMUT and unprotected sex!

Rapp Corporation was the leading marketing firm in the world. Companies like Disney, Sony and Southwest paid millions of dollars to be associated with it. It represented actors, athletes, business moguls and small businesses. While it was in high demand it was also reasonable - sponsoring schools and nonprofit organizations around the world.

The single person driving the reigns to the crazy international kingdom that resided in London was Mitch Rapp . That’s right. He was part of a decade of strong, successful businessmen.

And he was your boss.

You had literally stumbled into the job of personal assistant. Literally. You were walking out of a coffee shop, resumes in hand when you ran into his large, hard frame. You landed on your ass and when you were able to recover, you were looking into the deepest chocolate eyes you had ever seen. His bright white teeth clashed against his tan skin, his dark locks perfectly framing his face.

Then you remembered that you had spilled coffee on one of the most powerful, young bachelors in the world.

You had also spilled coffee all over your resume and you groaned in realization, the expensive fresh pages coated in thick lakes of coffee. He had helped you pick up the lost keys to your future, taking a second to read over your resume and offered you a job. He was on the way to meet someone about being his personal assistant and you did just get your masters in public relations. You could intern while still making money and if you showed promise he promised to promote you.

Sometimes life really does work out in your favor. Sit in that for five seconds then remember that your boss is one of the sexiest, most successful young CEO’s in the world.

Not only is he attractive but he has the work ethic of an ox. And it made working for him damn hard. Probably harder than managing the clients he had. He was constantly in meetings, constantly leaving early in the morning and late in the evening. Going to galas and charity events, charming new people. He opened up smaller chains in areas in the world stricken by poverty to try to help increase job opportunities. He volunteered at schools and hospitals. He spent his Thanksgiving and Christmas and any other holiday of giving providing food for those in need. Always. He’s always been like this.

Mitch wasn’t just a CEO. Wasn’t even human.

He was a goddamn saint sent from heaven to wreak havoc on earth.

It was on such an occasion that he had asked you to attend one of his events - a large gala celebrating 50 years of business with his father and grandfather.  The whole legacy under one roof. You didn’t understand why you were asked to attend. As his assistant sure you had to manage the media and who visited him. But that had been hours ago. The night was now thriving off the rich and famous drunkenly dancing and teasing each other. Mitch never drank more than two glasses of anything at events like these so you didn’t have to babysit him. But you also wanted to go home if he didn’t need you and that he refused.

You watched him as he laughed along with two of his most trusted partners, Scott Mccall and Derek Hale as they sipped expensive champagne and spoke lowly among each other. Mitch was wearing a tailored blue suit, his white  button up popping against a black tie. His slight beard had grown since he shaved it these past two days and was now a short beard and all you could think about was how it would feel between your legs.

You shook your head, returning your eyes to your blackberry. You had to get it together. Everyone teased you that he had a thing for you. He never had women assistants. Preferred men to ensure that things stayed professional. Never offered people jobs on the spot either.

There was just something about you they would tease.

Well he sure as hell wasn’t making a move so until he did it would have to stay a mystery.

“You’re still working for him.”

The soft voice takes you off guard and you jump a bit, breaking from your thoughts as  your eyes fall on your assailant. Standing in a dark red gown, her pale skin contrasting with her perfectly coiffed dark hair is Katrina Mendes. 

Ex-girlfriend of Mitch Rapp.

She takes a seat beside you, the soft smell of Chanel wafting off her skin as she continues.

“Didn’t think a fragile little thing like you would survive a man like him.”

You knew what she was doing. Her younger sister, Annika , had warned you about this months ago. When you had accidentally ran into her at a golf tournament with Mitch. She loved him still. Despite the fact that she married someone new, moved across the world, she still loved and wanted him. Didn’t want anyone else to claim him.

You were a threat. You were beautiful,  intelligent. charming and apparently upon Scott’s teasing, he spoke about you a lot. Katrina hated you. And reminded you every time she saw you.

“Surprised you’re here. Thought you’d be back in America with your husband. Oh wait, he’s in Japan with his mistress of the month.”

It was no secret her husband cheated on her. She even laughed about it but deep down you knew it killed her inside. Killed her that she chose a man like that over a man like Mitch. It made you even empathize for her…until she opened her mouth and you were reminded that karma was real.

She narrows her eyes at you before deliberately taking the large flute of champagne in her hand and slowly tilting it on your dress. On your $3,000 dress you had charged on your credit card that you had planned on returning tomorrow. You had only bought the navy blue gown to try to impress Mitch, hoping he would be charmed by the way it looked on your body.

It hadn’t and now, on top of rejection, she had ruined it and put you $3,000 in the hole.

“Have fun returning your De la Rented dress.” she smirks at you as you stand, the champagne trailing down the front of the long gown. You try to bite back tears, try not to bring too much attention to yourself as you pat at he gown down with a napkin before looking at her.

“I really hope you’re happy making other people’s life miserable Katrina. Because from what I hear, you used to be an awesome person and now, now you’re just a lonely bitch.”

You don’t notice the crowd of people who have been crowding around, watching the small scene unfold. Don’t see Mitch head toward you as you make your way down to the hallway to the family restroom. You don’t realize the tears that have been falling down your cheeks until you feel him grab your arm, turning you gently toward him.

“Y/N…” your name sounds different on his tongue and the way he’s looking at you has you sobbing harder. You try to push him away as he draws you to him, his large sculpted arms surrounding you as he whispers,

“Just let it all out.”

You don’t know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve wasted $3,000 on a dress that had made little impact in your life. Maybe its because you’ve been up since 4:30 because of him, trying to make his night perfect. You missed having a social life. Missed your mom and dad and siblings. Missed your small loft in London.

Missed all of this because of him and he didn’t even give a damn.

The thought drives your sobs deeper and his grip tightens around you as you cry harder, his large hands rubbing your back. His mouth hushes you and he rocks you before you start to calm down, your sobs tampering off and you pull away, shaking your head. You want to apologize for your unprofessionalism and you also wanted to tell him he could take his assistant job and fuck off but then his left hand is hooking under your chin as he tilts your head up to you.

“I can pay for your dress. I’m sorry she ruined it. But holy hell Y/N what did you expect when you wore something like this?”

His right hand that has never left your body tampers down your back as he pulls you closer to him.

“You’ve been driving everybody mad wearing this,” he eyes are shifting now, darkening around the pupils as he licks his lips. “It should be a condemned sin.”

His voice has dropped an octave and the deep bass draws a shiver up your spine. You give your lip a light bite and he gives a short groan, the pad of his thumb brushing over the exposed skin. His hand tightens around your waist as he whispers,

“You should be a condemned sin.”

You’re looking up at him confused, trying to register what he was saying. He watches you back, trying to get a read on you before he straightens, pulling from you.

“I hope you’re feeling better.” he croaks, backing away as he takes you in one last time before he turns on his heel. You stop him, your hand shooting for his arm. You walk around him, his hair covering his pinched eyes as you whisper,

“What do you mean by that Mitch?”

He doesn’t look at you as he manages out,

“I’ve drank too much. I shouldn’t…” he looks at you and groans. “You just, I should have asked you out and not have offered you a job.”

The words takes you off guard as he takes a deep sigh.

“You’re so goddamn sexy and smart and I felt terrible ruining your resumes,” he was referencing your encounter months ago. “That offering you a job was the best I could do. I thought you’d get burnt out and quit and then I could ask you out but you’re so damn good. So damn good at everything you do so I’ve been stuck pretending I don’t care when all I want is you.”

Your dumbstruck as he looks at you and groans, shrugging out of your embrace.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. We can leave, if you want.”

He’s looking past you and you’re trying to process it all.

He really did like you.

You grab his neck, drawing him down to you, your lips pressing against his. It catches him off guard for only a second before he’s registering your actions, his hands grabbing your hips as he pushes you flush against a wall. His kisses are needy and desperate as his tongue teases your mouth open and you are consumed by him. Your hands move to his hair, his beautiful dark tresses getting tangled in your delicate fingers as he moans in your mouth, pushing his hips into your naval.

You moan feeling his erection brush against you and he pulls away, his eyes frenzied with lust.

“Not here.” his voice is hoarse and deep as he grabs you and basically drags you into the family restroom you were seeking out earlier. He shuts the door, locking it before grabbing you and slamming you against the door. He lifts you, your long gown getting lost around him as your legs hooks around his waist and his mouth is on your collarbone, sucking on the skin.

“You are so damn gorgeous,” he mumbles along your skin, his mouth nipping at your neck. “Do you know that? Do you know that you’ve been driving me fucking insane in this dress” his hands trail up your gown, his hot fingers clashing with your cool thighs and his mouth has found yours. “Drove me insane the moment I picked you up and you were wearing this.” His hands ghost over your center and you give a small yelp, as he pulls back to look you in the eye.

“You’re not wearing any underwear.” he bites his lips as he glides his fingers up your wet folds and you shiver as you stumble out,

“I always run out of clean underwear and you came so early to pick me up I couldn’t go and buy a pair.”

His hands slowly traces up and down your pussy and he watches your face twist in pleasure.

“How many times have you worked with me without any panties on?”

“Honestly?” you bite down on your lip as his thumb slowly starts to tease against your clit and your hips rock against his finger. “Like most of the time. You don’t give me enough time to do my laundry.”

Your words are soft, barely coming in a whisper and he growls, sticking a finger into you as he begins his slow assault into your tight walls.

“You are so fucking wet,” he whispers as he looks at you, a wicked grin on his face. “Are you always this wet for me princess?”

You give a weak nod as he inserts another finger and you buck against him, your hands digging into his shoulders.

“I thought I smelled you the other week when we were at dinner.” You knew what he was referencing. He had taken you out for dinner after a long day at the office at a trendy sushi spot. He had been talking to you as his nimble fingers gracefully picked up one sushi after the other, the raw fish placed carefully in his mouth. You don’t know why it turned you on but it did. You wanted to know what those fingers would feel like in you, his mouth over yours.

Now you knew.

“Did I smell you princess?” he whispers a grin gracing his face and you give another weak nod and he growls, inserting a third finger in you. You arch your back against him, hands stuck in his hair as his mouth attacks your neck again.

“Tell me what had you so turned on so much?”

You give a weak mewl in silence and he pulls his fingers out, causing you to whine. He looks up at you with hooded eyes shaking his head.

“You have to use your words princess.”

“I was thinking about you finger fucking me.” you manage out, biting your lip as your cheeks flush over. He smiles as he sticks his fingers back in you, watching your face contort in pleasure again. His fingers curls up and hits you in that sweet spot and you feel your body tensing, clawing for release.

“Were you?”

You give a quick nod and he chuckles, his mouth getting close to your ear. His fingers are merciless know, pumping into you faster as his thumb brushes against your clit and you can feel that tension in your stomach build up.

“Wanna hear a secret princess?” he whispers against the shell of your ear and you hum, your body starting to give in to the pleasure he was delighting you to. “I’ve jacked off to you every night since I’ve met you, cumming all over my body from the thought of my dick being filled to the rim in you.”

That was all you needed. Between his fingers and the image of him jacking off to you your screaming his name, your fingers tangled in his hair as your walls flutter around his fingers. He groans, coaxing you through your climax as he watches you before he pulls from you, inserting all three of his fingers in his mouth. He gives a low moan as he sucks your essence off and pulls his fingers out with a pop before your leaning into him for a kiss.

He shifts, carrying you to the bathroom counter and slamming placing you down. He yanks at his suit, pulling down his pants and boxers as his cock springs free.

“Tonight I’ll make love to you the way you deserve,” he promises as he lines himself up at your entrance. “I’ll have you begging my name by the time I’m done with you but right now I just need you.”

His cock is teasing your folds as you look up at him, your eyes darkening as you thrust your hips forward. He stops you, something dark flickering in his eyes.

“What do you want princess?” he whispers and you moan as your hands pull at his shoulders.

“I want you.”

“You want me to what?” a satisfied smirk sits on his face and you rub your folds against his twitching cock.

“Want you to fuck me with your big fucking cock.”

He groans as he slowly thrusts into you, grabbing your hands and intertwining them with yours as he raises them above your head. His head falls in the crook of your neck as he bottoms out in you, his hair tickling your shoulders and you both give a satisfied moan. You rock your hips against him, enjoying the way he fills you to the brim and he moans as he pulls from you, his hips rocking out of you before slamming back in.

“Goddamn you are tight..” he whispers as he lifts himself enough to look at you, then his mouth is hot on yours as his body claims you.

His hips snap into you, desperately chasing after your orgasm before he lifts your leg and you’re getting hit in that special spot that has you screaming out his name.

“That’s right princess. Want you to cum all over my big cock.” he whispers, his hips in a frenzy as he watches you unwind underneath him. His finger finds your clit and flicks the sensitive area and you’re screaming his name again, your body shaking as you find sweet release. His hips are sloppily slapping against your as your walls tighten around before there milking him  his body shaking uncontrollably as your arms find your way around his body.

You wait a beat before saying,

“Soooo…I’m guessing I have to quit. This is the highest level of conflicted interest if I’ve ever known one.”

He chuckles, his face tucked in your shoulder before pulling away and kissing you.

“I don’t want you to quit.”

“Wouldn’t that be -”

“Unless you want to. You’re free to work in any of our departments. You’re way too good to be an assistant.” he’s rambling, something he does when he’s nervous and you chuckle, leaning up and kissing him. He relaxes as you pull away, his lips tugged between your teeth before you whisper.

“Let’s worry about it tomorrow. I should at least get a year under your belt before we talk about commitment.”

He chuckles, wiggling against you and there’s a soft knock on the door and you both freeze before you hear Scott’s voice.

“…….so uhhh, I don’t mean to interrupt you two but ummmm,” he clears his throat though you can hear the humour in his voice. “Your dad is looking for you Mitch. For a photo.”

Mitch groans and you laugh, giving a lock of his hair a tug.

“Give us a minute Scott. We need to….make ourselves decent.”

“Uh huh.” You know he’s smiling as he walks away and Mitch’s eyes are glinting at you mischievously.

“How long do you think he’s been standing out there hearing you scream out my name?”

“Mitch! That’s your best friend!” you say in mock surprise and he laughs, shaking his head.

“Scott’s always had a thing for you.” he nuzzles his face in your neck before muttering. “Besides I have another round in me.”

His shimmies his hips against yours and you gasp at his dick hardening in you.

You both make it out of the bathroom thirty minutes later.

[truglori]

Homebody (Ch.2)

Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick Black OC

Warnings: Language

“Girl and when did all of this go down again?”

Amiyah laughed as she told her best friend , Kelley, about what took place between her and Erik. Kelley was someone who she met when she first started working at the boutique at the age of nineteen. She was only two years older than her. One day they decided to go get lunch together and found themselves hitting it off and have been inseparable since. Now they were two years strong into their friendship.

“I told you about three night’s ago. You would’ve known earlier if you would actually come to work.” She replied smartly while placing a jacket back on to the rack.

“And why am I just now hearing about this? You act like you can’t call me or text me.”

“Well that’s because I wanted to tell you in person to see your face when I tell you this part...He said that he was going to try and start approaching me more because we don’t speak to each other enough.” Amiyah couldn’t contain her smile.

“Are you serious?” Kelley’s mouth dropped. “Wait where was your brother during all of this?”

“Oh um I think he was in his car. Why?”

She shook her head. “Mmm that explains it.”

Curious to know Amiyah stopped folding the shirts. “Explain what?”

“That niggas only want to get bold when they get you alone. Never tough enough to do that shit in front of people. You know that was one of the reasons why I stopped fucking with Tony.” She spoke about her ex.

“First off you and I both know that Erik is nothing like Tony. That nigga was different and I don’t think he’s scared to say it in front of everyone...it’s just you know how my brother can be.”

“Overprotective.” They stated in unison.

“I know you like him sis but just be careful. You know dealing with his situation. Can’t be running around here being nobody’s side piece no matter how fine they are.”

“I’m not anybody’s anything. I’m just telling you what went down between us and you don’t know how someone relationship look like behind close doors.” Amiyah expressed becoming offensive.

Kelley playfully rolled her eyes dropping the topic while taking snap chat pictures by the register. Our manager, Rhonda, walked out of the back office with a clipboard catching her in act. She went up to her taking her phone pointing it at her.

“Kelley I don’t pay you to sit here on your phone lil girl. Do some work now before I make you clock out and send you home.”

Placing the phone down in front of her, Rhonda went back to doing inventory check.

“Not you acting like you my mama.” Kelley mumbled before going over to help Amiyah with the last of the restock.

They both mocked her words before silently laughing amongst one another. It wasn’t too long before they heard the bell on the front door signaling that there was new customers coming in. They turned their heads to see who it was.

“Hello, welcome Bella Ella’s ladies. If you need help finding anything don’t be afraid to ask these young women over here to help you.” Rhonda smiled at the group of four before disappearing back into her office.

Walking over to stand next to Amiyah, Kelley whispered in her ear.

“Aw shit ain’t that ole boy girl?” She turned to face her best friend finding the answer she was looking for by the expression on her face. She shook her head heading back to the register.

It was Alexis. Erik’s somewhat “girlfriend”. No she didn’t think that out of jealousy because there was some truth behind it. From all the conversations that she eavesdropped on between her brother and Erik, Alexis didn’t really hold a title like she thought she did. According to Erik she was just ‘fun for now’, whatever that meant. Alexis wasn’t anyone new around the block. She had her share of men who had some money and power to go along with it. With the pretty face that she had and the body to match it wasn’t hard for her to climb her to the top where the money was. Most niggas in the hood would love to be seen with a girl like her on their arm.

“Yeah.” Amiyah spoke softly to herself as her mood shifted a bit.

“Y’all need to help me find something. Tonight is date night with Erik. We do this every Thursday.” Alexis held up a sweater crop top as she spoke to her friends modeling it in the mirror.

Placing the last shirt on the shelf Amiyah picked up the empty box along with the plastic contents inside. Walking to throw it out in the back she was stopped in her tracks when she heard her voice.

“Amiyah? Right?”

She turned facing Alexis who had a huge smile on her face showing her pearly white veneers.

Amiyah smiled putting her attention on her. “Yes, how are you?”

“I’m good girl I’m just here because me and my baby are going out on a date tonight and I need to find something fast. I heard a lot about this store and I came through to put it to the test. Please tell me y’all have something.” Alexis clasped her hands together in hopes that her mans best friend sister could find her a fit for tonight.

“Sure. Do you know if you guys are going to be out and about or staying in one location? The weather keeps dropping these days and you don’t want to be cold.”

Putting her feelings aside Amiyah went to work helping her.

___________________________________________________

It was around two in the afternoon when Erik got a call from his friend to meet up for lunch. Checking his fit his eyes met with the gold chain resting on top of his crisp black tee paired with black jeans and a pair of white and navy blue Nike 1’s. Throwing over his long gray fleece he sprayed on his Mont Blanc Legend before heading out the door of his condo.

Twenty five minutes was the time it took for him to pull up at the restaurant and meet up with Durkio, who was already enjoying an appetizer. Walking past the hostess he gave a head nod assuring that he was taken care of, he greeted his friend.

“Damn nigga you had to start without me huh?” Erik dapped him up before taking off his jacket and sliding in the booth.

“Nigga that’s because every time I call yo ass it take you a whole hour to get here. I hate that shit. I don’t know who’s worst you or Miyah.” He stated going back to eating his mango grilled shrimp.

Erik smirked shaking his head.” Anyways what’s up with you?”

“Nigga I got a fucking problem that’s what’s up.” Durk finishing the last of his food before pushing his plate aside. He grabbed his napkin wiping off the remnants of the quick meal.

“Oh yeah with who?” Erik turned towards the waitress giving her a small smile after she sat down his water.

“Can I get you started with anything?” Clicking her pen she prepared to take his order.

“Not right now sweetheart, thank you.” Erik gave her a smile revealing his deep dimple.

Flustered from his looks she nodded quickly putting away her pad. “Alrighty, let me know when you’re ready.”

“Damn nigga you tryna fuck on her too or sum?” Durkio smiled sipping his cognac.

“Don’t worry bout where my dick go and tell me about this problem you got.”

“Aight so check it out. You remember how I was telling you how I’m trying to get more products right. Like I’m really gonna be out here next up on a different level and shit. I found a connect who need a distributor in this area.”

“Okay so what’s the problem with that?” Erik sat up waiting to hear what’s going on.

“The problem is Shawn and his people already moving some shit out here. Just found out today. I was been supposed to take his ass out but I been to busy looking for a plug. But that’s not the case. Ole boy Don put me up on game where that nigga stash at. Word is he holding a million somewhere not to far from here.”

Erik figured where this was going once he heard his best friend say he was already thinking about taking someone out. He wanted him to hit a lick for him. That was the reason for this whole meet up. No, Erik wasn’t a drug dealer but he wasn’t clean either. This is what he did from time to time to make money. He would rob people. It wasn’t something that he was proud of but it was a job that kept him well fed when he was out on his own by the age of sixteen. He started out doing a few here and there with one of the boys, Tray, who he met in foster care then eventually Erik found himself doing them alone. With his quick skills and knowing how to tote a gun it became second nature for him.

Which after a while got him caught up but was also the reason he met Durk when he was just only twenty years old. Erik was out doing a job one night that Tray told him about. It was supposed to be some quick in and out job but turned out to go in a different direction.

Erik began putting the ski mask on his head so that it would be easy to pull down for when it was time to go. He sat on the passenger side of an all black Nissan waiting for the right moment. It was about two in the morning.There was three guys sitting on the front porch smoking. He knew that in a minute they would go back inside for a rotation after keeping watch on them for the last three days.

“Listen lil nigga..get yo ass in and out. I don’t need you getting no extra shit like the drugs, leave that there...get the money and bounce.” Tray watched him while he took a pull from his blunt.

“Why you act like I ain’t been doing this shit for years now. Just stay right here I’ll be back in ten.”

He took the safety off his Glock 19 as he exited the car walking towards the house. He pulled down his mask to cover his face. Walking up to the front he took one last glance back to see Tray pulling off.

‘What the fuck.’ He thought to himself as he turned around to see about seven niggas now standing on the porch pointing everything from a glock to an AK-47 at him.

He threw his gun down on the grass in front of him with a certainty that this was his last day on Earth. He knew eventually that it would catch up to him but didn’t think it would happen like this.

“Wait this the young nigga that’s been hitting up all the traps?” Durk stepped down the steps laughing eyeing up and down Erik who couldn’t have weighed no more than 175 at the time. “Nigga take yo mask off.”

Erik lifted up the ski mask not showing an ounce of fear staring him down ,which Durkio saw and knew he had to get him on his team.

“If you gon kill me do it now cause y’all niggas not bringing me no where to be tortured or some shit.” Erik stated getting ready to fight to the death of him.

Durkio smirked. “Nah nigga I ain’t gon kill you. Ima help you.”

From that day on Erik went to work for Durkio and getting at least 8 out of 10 of his jobs done with no problems. Erik shook his head reminiscing about his first time meeting the man who could’ve took his life but became his best friend instead.

“Nigga you over there in wonderland. What you gon do? You gon help me?” Durk asked in need. He knew that there wasn’t no one better for this.

“I don’t know. You know I haven’t did a job in almost two years.” Erik sipped his water.

“Aw shit. Listen bro I know you not trying to get into this shit anymore but you know if I’m coming to you about it, it’s serious. I mean if you don’t wanna do it than fuck it what can I do...but if I die that’s yo ass nigga.”

Erik shook his head. “Nigga stop speaking that over ya life. Told you bout talking like that.”

He was serious. He knew that what you say about yourself can truly be spoken into existence. He experienced it at first hand.

“Yea yeah I heard you-“ His phone rung cutting him off.

“Hello.”

..........

“Yeah y’all need me?”

..........

“Aight say less I’m there.” He ended the call. He looked at the time cursing to himself. “Shit I gotta take this. I need a quick favor.” Durkio slid out the booth putting on his jacket. He threw a hundred dollar bill down.

“Wasup?”

“Pick up Amiyah from work and bring her home. I was supposed to get her almost an hour ago. Don’t let her talk you into taking her anywhere else bring her ass home.”

Erik looked down at his watch and saw 3:35 pm. He still had plenty of time before he got ready for his date with Alexis.

“I got you bro go do your thing.” Erik got up following him out the restaurant.

“Yo Erik let me know what the move is before next week.”

He nodded his head and dapped his friend up one last time before going to his car.

_________________________________________________

“Why won’t you just wait until I get off and I’ll take you home?” Kelley stated while chewing on her ceaser salad.

“Why would I wait that long and you have to close the store. Kells I’m sorry but I am tired and ready to go home. I been here since six this morning and my dumb ass brother know I get off at two thirty.”

Amiyah threw her bag next to her on the bench as she grew frustrated. It was going on four o’clock and her brother still wasn’t here. This was the main reason she wanted to get her license. She wouldn’t have to depend on anyone and could come and go as she pleased.

Scrolling on her phone she gave him another ten minutes before she would just get an Uber which she dreaded . It was something that didn’t feel right to her trusting a complete stranger to bring her home.

The bell on the front door dinged as it open. She looked up finding Erik at the door. Looking over at Kelley she had the same surprising look as she did while remaining to eat her food.

“Hey your brother asked me to pick you up. My bad I’m late. It was last minute.” Erik walked up to her and reached for her hand to help her get up.

She accepted the helpful gesture as she bend over to collect her belongings.

Amiyah timidly looked him in the eyes. “Thank you.” Her hand still connected to his.

He showed his dimples as he sucked in his bottom lip before looking down releasing it. He let her hand go as well.

“I’m parked right here.” Erik walked to the door opening it and waited for her to walk out first.

“Bye girl.” Kelley interrupted their moment clearly witnessing some chemistry before her.

Her shy nature exposing itself due to the fact that her crush was right there, she gave a half wave to her friend. Erik following her view finally noticing the brown skin beauty at the register. He saluted her as well and then left behind Amiyah.

Walking up to his Inifiniti Q60 she reached for the door but was stopped. She looked down and saw Erik’s hand on top of hers.

“You don’t gotta worry about reaching for one of these around me.”

She lightly giggled covering her mouth with her finger tips. Not because anything was funny, she did it to cover up her nerves as much as she can. No man aside from her brother showed her this much chivalry.

“Okay.” She got in making sure she was secured before he closed the door. She watch as he jogged around to his side and got in.

Erik rubbed his hands together warming them up as he hit the pushed to start button. This was his first time with her in his car and second time alone with her in all. He looked over and watched her as she was making contact with every thing else but him.

“You good?” He questioned trying to see what’s up as he leaned back in his seat while pulling off.

She nodded smiling showing her pretty whites.

“Damn what happened? I thought we was on speaking terms now?” He joked with her trying to make her comfortable. She was too shy around him.

“I just didn’t know you were picking me up. It took me by surprise.” She finally spoke up as she wiped the sweat off her palms on her pants.

“Yeah me either but I’m cool with it.”

“Well thank you.”

“It’s not a problem.”

It seemed to her as if his voice became deeper and raspier within three days.

“So how was your day?” She wanted to make small talk to try and make this car ride go by fast. Thankfully the didn’t live no longer than ten minutes away.

“It was good...had met up with your brother not too long ago then I have somewhere to be in a few.” He checked his watch.

Amiyah knew where but she wanted him to say it. “Oh yeah, what you have plan for the night?”

He glanced at her before focusing back on the road.

“You tryna keep track of me?” He smirked licking his lips.

She rolled her eyes looking out the window. “No it’s just that I saw your girl at my job today. She was looking for an outfit for tonight.” She let him know that she had put two and two together.

Arriving at the building he put the car in park. Leaning back into his seat somewhat facing her. “Who’s my girl? Hm?”

He wanted to put her on the spot to see what she know since she felt it was within her rights to question him.

“I don’t know what’s her name again? Amber or Ashley? Something like that.” She was being petty now.

Erik laughed picking up the jealousy that she was dropping. But he was going to play along.

“Nah her name is Alexis.”

“Oh yeah her.” She tried her best to make herself seem unbothered.

“You help her find something nice for me?” Erik knew what he was doing, he just wanted to see how far it would go.

“I don’t know you’ll have to wait until tonight. Bye Erik. Thanks for the ride.” She grabbed her purse reaching for the door when she felt his hand grab her forearm. Facing him she saw that his eyes were on her.

“Why you seem upset all of a sudden? What I do?”

“I’m not upset I just want go inside. I’ve been up all morning.” She stated somewhat telling the truth.

It wasn’t a secret to Erik that Amiyah liked him. He caught on to that very fast. It was her body language that always gave her away. Whenever he came around her she would tense up. She could never hold eye contact with him longer than ten seconds and she would always make herself quiet the moment he made himself known. There have been times when she didn’t know that he was around and he would hear her speak but when he’d show his face she was on mute. He knew that her experience with being around men that wasn’t her brother was low. She didn’t know how to express herself correctly so instead she would try her best to become unnoticeable. But he noticed her, he noticed everything.

“That’s not my girl. We just be fucking from time and time but I never put a title on her.” He spoke honestly wanting to leave her with some information she didn’t have to spend days trying to figure. As long as it came from him that’s all that matters.

Amiyah glanced down to see his hand had left from her arm. Crossing her arms she sat up straight. “Why you telling me this?”

Erik shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe that’s something I want you to know. Something I can share between just me and you.”

“Okay.” Going back into her timid state she looked down at her thighs.

Noticing this Erik nudged her chin with his fingers making her look up at him.

“I gotta go. But I’ll be around.”

She nodded her head.

He got out the car and opened her door.

“You want me to walk you up?”

“No I’m okay. I’ll see you around.” She smiled.

Before he could stop his actions he found himself grabbing her hand and pulling her back wrapping his arms around her waist for a hug. He felt it was something she needed. Hell he needed it.

He bent his head down smelling a mixture of blueberry and peppermint oil on her neck. That with the feeling of her soft breast pushed on his chest made his dick jump. It was something about her touch that felt different.

“Damn you smell good.” He mumbled but knew she heard him.

Just the feeling of his arms wrapped around her waist alone Amiyah wanted to moan so badly. When his hand swipe the small of her back she bit her lip. She didn’t know the meaning of what it felt like to be touch starved until today. Never would she have thought that a simple hug would make her feel thumping coming from her clitoris. His hands made her feel so safe and protected she didn’t want the hug to end. But of course all good things must come to an end.

Finally separating from each other she looked up at Erik who was staring down at her with low eyes with that bottom lip tucked in and his left dimple showing.

“ Gimmie ya number.” What came out more as a command than a question he reached in his pocket grabbing his phone. He unlocked it for her facing it in her direction.

Out of habit he kept his head on swivel checking his surroundings while he waited for her to make sure they were safe.

Without hesitation she logged her digits in his phone. Trying her best not to show the shakiness in her hands as she wrote her name and then placing a purple heart emoji next to it. Purple was her favorite color.

Erik checked it smiling at her boldness.

“Oh you got an emoji already. Most people gotta earn that in my phone.”

“Well I’m not most people.” She spoke under her breath.

He’d let her get away with that one.

“ Aight I’ma call you soon. Pick up when I do.” He gave her one last side hug before walking to the driver side.

“Wait but I don’t have your number how I’m supposed to know it’s you?”

“You gon know it’s me.”

__________________________________________________________

Part Three

Tag-list!

@supersizemeplz @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @hearteyes-for-killmonger @artisticestheticreads @uzumaki-rebellion @blowmymbackout @chaneajoyyy @thehomierobbstark @thiccdaddy-mbaku @curls-and-crosses @madamslayyy @goddessofthundathighs @eriksjournal @erikslulbaby @wakandamama @wawakanda-btch @wakandas-vibranium @wakandaforeverwrites @ghostfacekill-monger @killmonger-dolan @killmongerkink @migosis @raysunshine78 @alookintohersoul @popcorn803 @just-juicee @mllover260 @kimmyblckswan2 @koriiii @tchallasbabymama @toniilaney @marvelmaree

[magalidragon]

fire on ice | a crackish Jonerys drabble

Soooo... @moggett reblogged this post and well I felt compelled to write a drabble for one of those prompts so I give you this crack fic-- a funeral home meet cute!

I give you....FIRE ON ICE!  And this is also partially @youwerenevermine‘s fault, lol, because we literally had same idea for one of the prompts.

“Thank you so much Mr. Snow.”

Jon nodded politely, solemnly, his gray eyes the perfect amount of sympathetic, sad, and he hoped the right amount of ‘normal’— lest people think him a total fucking creep—while he shook the hand of the Greatjon Umber, whose son Smalljon Umber had unfortunately encountered the wrong side of a chainsaw while out trimming trees.  

Greatjon began to go into a tale about his son—who by all accounts had been a horrible person—speaking like he was the second coming of Aegon the Conqueror for all his ‘talents’ and ‘successes.’  “Hmm,” he murmured, walking him slowly to the door.  “He sounds like quite a man your son, thank you Mr. Umber, we will speak later regarding tomorrow.”

“Of course, thank you again Mr. Snow.”

The door shut loudly behind him, Jon slumping against it, relieved.  He glanced at his cousin, who had emerged from the basement, shaking her chopped bob out of its messy little knot atop her head.  “He gone?” she demanded.

“Aye.”

“I had half a mind to sew his arm on backwards.”

Jon closed the doors to the viewing room where Smalljon rested in repose until tomorrow when he’d be taken to the Karstark’s castle for the final funeral and ultimate burial in the crypts, as was custom for the Northerners.  He clicked his tongue.  “Arya, be nice.”

“Remember when his wife died, and he squeezed my arse?”

“Aye, I remember.”

“Thought so.”  Arya checked her phone.  “Your beloved texted me.  We have another on the way.  This one fell from the Wall.  Ygritte said he’s a fucking mess.”

He made a face; he hated that she referred to his ex-girlfriend as his ‘beloved.’  “Will you stop calling her that?”

“She works for the morgue Jon, what were you thinking?”

“It’s hard to find women in this line of work.”  He heard the bell ringing on the other side of the old stone house that served as their place of business and home—the five-floor monstrosity he knew people in town referred to as ‘Castle Black.’  He did wear a lot of black.  Came with the territory.  He waved off Arya.  “Just make sure you finish up with Mr. Lannister before the end of the evening.”

“The rich dude who died on the shitter?  Yeah, no thanks, that’s all yours.”

“Do you want to take this one?  Where the fuck is Robb anyway?”  Robb was the master of this shit, not him.  He was better with the dead.

Arya walked away before he even could try to play ‘Dragon, Wolf, Lion’ with her or answer as to where her eldest brother happened to have gone off.  Guess it was all him.  He caught his reflection in one of the mirrors in the hallway, adjusting his black tie at his neck and raking fingers through his curls.  It did nothing to tamp them down. He schooled his expression, solemn, and pushed through the dark wooden doors from the funeral home side of the floor to the entry way.  He let them swing back and folded his hands in front of him.  

“Welcome to Three Wolves Funeral Home, may I help you?” he asked, voice gentle; you never knew who might be waiting to speak with you on this side of the building.  He’d been accused too often in Robb’s post-services discussions of being too cold.

The woman standing in a dark red dress with long black overcoat was not someone who appeared to be in mourning, but then you never really knew, some people were good at masking emotions.  Her silver hair was in an elegant, braided knot at the back of her head and she had large black sunglasses folded in her hands, gazing at the table with various brochures for caskets.  

She turned, blinking wide violet eyes at him, her lips crimson, face pale.  “Good afternoon,” she greeted him, eyebrow arching.  “I’m inquiring as to your crematory services.”

“For yourself?” he blurted, before he realized how it sounded.

She smirked, while he flushed, thrown off by her stunning beauty.  He tried to school his expression again; she could very well have been there for her husband, boyfriend, or other, he did not need to stumbling through this.  He wished Robb was there.  “That would be interesting, wouldn’t it?  Well, I can assure you I’m not here to burn myself alive, but you know…” She inspected her hand, a couple rings on them glittering gold.  She grinned up at him.  “I have heard stories my ancestors were immune to flame.”

His throat constricted.  “Apologies.  Can I help you?”

“Your crematory services?” she wondered again, walking by him and into the showroom, running a finger over an ebony casket.  

“Ah…I am afraid Three Wolves does not offer such services.  We can, however, assist with selecting one, urns, and preparing a memorial service.”  He wondered what she was doing; she was now leaning down to look underneath a massive white casket.  No one really cared what the underside looked like.  He gestured towards the office.  “We can speak in private, if you wish?”  

The woman shook her head.  “No I’m fine, thank you.  Just doing a little bit of research.”

“For a relative?”  

“Something like that.”  She wore very high heels, which clicked loudly on the hardwood.  She glanced sideways; eyes shrewd.  “Are you one of the Three Wolves on your sign out front?”

“Yes, Jon Snow, I’m the mortician.”  It sounded so creepy like that, but it was the truth.  Robb handled the hand shaking, the business side.  Arya was their resident makeup artist—she could do wonders with faces practically taking them on and off—but he was the one who handled everything else.  

“Hmm, yes I heard of you.”  The woman offered her hand.  “Dany.”

“Jon,” he repeated, like an idiot.  He was put off by her beauty, rather disarming.  He swallowed hard again.  “Nice to meet you.  Is there…”

“This was enlightening Mr. Snow.  I’ll be back.”  Dany wiggled her fingers, waving, striding out decisively.  “See you later.”

What the seven hells was that about? He spun on his heel, about to ask her what else he could help her with, when the front door slammed shut, bell ringing on her exit.  He heard the door from the services wing open, Robb walking in.  He scowled.  “Where were you?”

“Talking with the Umbers, heard it went well, did we have a customer?” Robb adjusted his tie, eagerly seeing dollar signs.  “Where are they?”

“They left.”  

“Damnit Jon!”

He rolled his eyes, storming by.  “I’ll be downstairs.”

“With Tywin Lannister?  Better make him look good, the Lannisters are paying through the nose for this.”

“Aye,” he said idly, heading downstairs and to his ‘lair’ as Robb referred to it.  He shook his head, preparing in the locker room, putting on scrubs and his protective gear.  When he tugged on gloves, walking over to the block of freezer drawers, he rolled his eyes again, making another face.  He was better with dead people anyway.

-----

A couple of weeks later, Jon saw the beautiful silver-haired woman again, this time from the front step of the funeral home, while Arya sat on the railing, Robb in shocked horror as the sign went up across the street.  

Dracarys Funeral Home and Crematory Services

“How did this happen?  We had the run of things here!” Robb exclaimed.

Arya cracked her gum.  “Want me to get info?”

The silver haired Dany waved from the front step of her home.  “Hello Starks!”

Jon shook his head, appalled.  “I thought she was just asking because someone died…like they all do.”

“You didn’t think that she was scoping the competition?” Robb shouted.

“I told you I’m better with the dead than I am the living!”

“Oh leave him alone,” Arya chided.  She rubbed Ghost’s ears—his great white wolf—gazing across the street again, shrugging.  “Maybe we can make this work.  Jon, you were the one who met her, maybe you can get some more info.  They do crematory, we don’t.  Maybe we can make a deal or something.”

Robb nodded, poking his shoulder.  “Go over there, find out more.”

Jon sighed.  He really didn’t want to do this. “I have that Wall guy to deal with.”

“Jarl will keep, go find out more.”

He slid away from the column, clicking his tongue for Ghost to follow him, the two of them crossing the street and up to Dracarys.  He entered into the front room, seeing that everything was a shade of black and red.  He glanced at Ghost, who was scanning the space with his bright ruby eyes, white fluffy tail wagging slowly.  “What do you think?” he mumbled.

The walnut wood stairs creaked in the back, drawing him towards the door leading away from the showroom and sitting area.  He peeked into another part of the old house, just like how their business was set up, with a viewing room and seating area.  He moved to another door, which was open, leading down a set of stairs.  

A massive black cat yowled from a sunbeam near the door, hissing at Ghost and running off.  Ghost didn’t bark but took off after the cat.  He sighed, calling out.  “Please don’t kill her cat!”  

He went down the stairs and pushed open a set of swinging double doors, pausing at the sight.  It was state-of-the art and he scowled at some of the fancy equipment he’d been trying to convince Robb to upgrade to for the last year.  He ran his tongue over his teeth, arching a dark brow at the woman who had been wearing head-to-toe designer when he’d met her and now was in black scrubs and protective gear, leaning over a dead man, a kit of makeup and brushes next to her.  

“Jon Snow,” she called.

“Daenerys Targaryen.”  He used her full name.  The proprietress of the competition, he would not refer to her as Dany.  “You could have told me you were moving in across the street.”

“And you would have shown me around?  I think not.”  

He stepped closer, curious at what she was working on.  His eyebrows flew to his forehead.  “Greyscale, huh?”

“Hmm,” Dany murmured.  “Yes.”  She looked up, grinning.  “I saw you coming over, decided not to stop you from finding me.  You’re not squeamish.”

“No I’m not.”

“They call you the King of the Dead.”

It wasn’t the worst thing he’d been called.  “And you are?” he retorted.

“The Dragon Queen, I suppose you could call me.  Or at least, that’s what they called me at mortician school.”  She selected another brush, grinning.  “I’m offering a service that your busines does not Jon Snow, that’s all.”

“The North doesn’t burn their dead.”

“I know, but many in the South do.  There’s plenty of them moving up here.”  Dany stood and pushed the gurney with the greyscale man into the freezer, closing the door.  She removed her gloves and gear, walking by him, and began to wash up.  She tossed a serene smile over her shoulder.  “I think we can make this work Jon Snow.  Don’t worry about it.”

“Robb isn’t used to competition.”

“And you?”

He shrugged.  “I work better with the dead.”

“So do I.”  When she finished, she studied him for a few seconds, which unnerved him.  He tore his eyes from her, wondering what she was doing.  She approached him, hands on her hips.  “Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”

He frowned, nose wrinkling, surprised.  “Coffee?”

“A hot beverage, sometimes served with milk and sugar?  Other times with various accoutrements like cinnamon or chocolate?” Dany’s smile softened.  He saw then how gentle she actually was, how soft.  It was comforting and he wasn’t even grieving.  She must be very good at her job, he thought.  He was numb, unsure how best to reply.  She patted his arm, stepping by him.  “Come on, I’ve got a lovely blend from Braavos.”

In the kitchen on the third floor of her house, where he assumed, she lived, she prepared the coffee.  He wondered where Ghost had gone.  “This how you get all the competition?” he managed to get out.  “Ply them with coffee?”

“Just you.”  Dany sat down across from him at a small bistro table in a large bay window, with a beautiful view of the mountains in the distance.  She passed him the mug of coffee and used a small ceramic pitcher to pour milk into her coffee.  Lifting it to her lips, she smiled again, warm and eyes dancing.  “You intrigue me.”

He sipped his coffee—it was very good—a small smile on his lips.  “You are an interesting one, Dany…if that is your real name.”

“Only my friends can call me Dany,” she mouthed.  

“And we’re friends?”

“Well I hope we’re not enemies.”

Jon figured he’d have to wait it out and see for certain, but he didn’t think enemies was the best word for it.  He was not good at this sort of thing, so he chose to continue drinking his coffee.  He set the mug down on the table, sighing and cocking his head, a slight furrow to his brow.  “I’m not good at this.”

“I know,” Dany shrugged.  “But I am.”

Well that was that then, he figured, smiling at her.  

-----

“So where did you two meet?”

Jon wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, as one of Sansa’s friends from King’s Landing had cornered him, trying to get info on Robb.  “Where did I meet…?” he echoed, playing dumb.

Margaery Tyrell frowned.  “Where did you meet Daenerys?  Sansa didn’t tell me.  In fact, she’s being really weird about things.  Won’t even tell me what Robb does for a living.”  Her eyes lit up.  “I like a challenge.”

“Um, well…”

His wife of the last two hours emerged at his side, looping her arm through his.  “We met at a funeral home,” she said, smiling at Margaery’s wide-eyed, horrified expression.  Dany gazed up at him, love shining from her beatific face.  “In fact, we contemplated holding the reception there, but figured everyone might think that a little weird.”  She smiled even wider.  “Also in the future, please keep the Fire on Ice Funereal Services in your thoughts for any funereal needs!”

Jon stifled a snort, glad to be rid of the odd questions.  He smiled down at his beloved.  “We didn’t actually consider the reception there or…did you?”

“No of course not, I don’t want to mix business and pleasure.”

“Isn’t that exactly what we did?”

“Nah, I came to scope out the competition and this really cute guy who couldn’t look me in the eye without blushing wandered in.”  Dany rose on her toes, pecking his cheek.  She patted her hand against his chest.  She beamed again.  “Best decision I ever made.  I could have sent Viserys.”

At the mention of her annoying older brother, Jon shivered.  He squeezed her close.  “Very well then.  Let’s at least try to figure out a better story, you’re scaring people.”

“Well it is the truth.”  

Jon shook his head, but smiled anyway, his arm around her and hers around him, both of them walking off into the crowd of guests.  He even thought that he overheard someone say the King of the Dead had found his queen.  He kissed her temple, sighing.  He certainly did.

THE END

[lassieposting]

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

[queen-of-the-avengers]

He’s Nothing Like His Brother

Characters: Loki Laufeyson x bodyguard!Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 2,906

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, blow job, kind of fluff?

Summary: You’re Loki’s bodyguard, tasked to protect the youngest Prince of Asgard. You go wheverver he goes, and you make sure he’s safe at all costs, ven if you have to open fire in the middle of a crowd to do it. Loki is arrogant, manipulative, smug-face, and expects women to fall to their knees in front of him. One day, you’re alone with him inside a limo, and the tension is thick. There’s only one way to fix that, and that means one of you are going to be on your knees...

Squares Filled: royaly for my second card for @avengersbingo​ // enemies to lovers for my first card for avengersbingo // it takes one to know one for @as-the-saying-goes-bingo // testicle fondling for @mcukinkbingo

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

The limo ride is silent since there is nothing to speak about. As soon as the royal princes were old enough to go to public events, the King of Asgard required each of them to have at least one bodyguard with them at all times whenever they left the castle. Your family comes from a long line of assassins and bodyguards, so they picked you to be with one of the princes. You are close together in age, so the King thought you would better connect with him.

Oh how he was so wrong.

Loki is one of the most selfish and arrogant people you have ever met—and you’ve met all of Asgard. He throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way, he plays all kinds of sick jokes on you, he always manages to be late for every single event you drag him to, and he can’t ever seem to keep it in his pants. At least once a night, you have to pull him away from some Asgardian woman that he deems will be his toy for the night.

He doesn’t want to stay in bed at night, you see him wandering the castle at random times, and you’re always the one to take down his pranks against all the staff and his family. He’s just so mischievous and greedy that you can’t fathom why anyone would like him as much as he says they do.

Sometimes you think you’d be better off if you’d gotten stuck with Thor. He’s not much better, but at least he’s polite about it. There are a ton of people in your family, yet, they picked you for the job. It’s not all bad, as much as it pains you to admit. There are times where Loki is thoughtful and careful around you, but that’s only when you find him sitting in the library alone. He’s most himself when he’s reading, and you’re thankful for those rare times.

This is not one of those times.

Out of all the times you’ve escorted Loki around Asgard, this is one of the most docile times. There have been times where you put your life in front of his even though the bastard doesn’t deserve it. Though, if anything were to happen to him while on your watch, the King and Queen would have your head. There have been a few times where you needed to use lethal weapons, and you remember them quite clearly.

The first time is when you and Loki were first seen out in public together. You’re not sure who was firing at you or why they were doing it, but if you had to guess, it’ll be because of an angry ex-lover. Loki seems to have a lot more of those than actually fucking enemies.

“I’ll have you back in the castle in no time. You don’t trust me?” you ask with a scoff.

“No.”

“As your fucking bodyguard, that hurts. The Queen requested that we get you some new suits, and I can’t do that if you’re not with me. We need to have you fitted. Now shut the fuck up and pretend like you don’t want to kill yourself.”

“You know, as my bodyguard, you shouldn’t talk to me that way. I can have you arrested for it.”

“Go right ahead. We’ll see who wants to put up with your arrogant ass when I leave,” you scoff.

You know Loki won’t do shit about you for two reasons: One, he likes the challenge of someone talking back to him and calling him out on his shit. It’s a change from everyone else fawning over him or walking on eggshells around him. Two, he realizes no one else will want to be with him. You’ve been with him for so long that it’ll just be a pain in his ass to get to know someone else. He doesn’t realize it, but you know him better than anyone else on fucking Asgard.

You two walk in comfortable silence. He’s almost likable when he’s not running his mouth. Every single person that you two pass just stares at you as they bow for the prince. You don’t pay any attention to them as they don’t mean anything to you. You see the place where you’re meant to do the dress fitting when you hear it.

You hear it before you see it.

The whoosh of the arrow as it races toward Loki. He’s not paying any attention to his immediate surroundings for he is absorbing all the attention from every female that he passes. Unfortunately for them, you’re on high alert. All those training sessions you’ve had with your family taught you to be stealth, have threat reflexes, and to never trust anyone. The arrow whizzes through the air, and you wait for the exact moment before reaching for it.

Loki doesn’t even see the arrow since he’s so busy talking to some female Asgardians, but you’re ready for it. You grab the arrow right before it hits Loki, and the woman screams when she sees this. Loki turns his head to you just as you take out the gun holstered to your side. Knowing the general direction where the arrow came from, and calculating the speed and angle it came at him, you’re able to determine exactly where the assassin is. With precise aim, you pull the trigger twice, alerting everyone what is going on. The second bullet hits the man, and he falls from wherever he’s hiding.

“Come on, Prince,” you sneer. “We got a fitting to go to.”

The second time when you had to kill someone in order to protect the arrogant prince is when the King and Queen were hosting their annual ball at the castle. It’s where one night of the year, people from all backgrounds are able to attend a ball and celebrate a successful year in the kingdom. Well, one particular year, that wasn't a good thing.

Instead of joining the party down below, you’re high above in one of the secret rooms closed off to the public. You’re watching everyone below having fun, especially Loki. The way he sweeps every woman off their feet is something that makes you want to barf. He thinks that just because he winks at them, tells them how pretty and special they are, and gives them even a lick of attention, they will fall to their knees in front of him. It bugs you how much he manipulates to get what he wants. Sometimes, you think he would do so much better if he were like his brother.

Loki dances with his fourth woman of the night, and you canvas the area for potential threats. There are a few suspicious people lingering around, but they aren’t suspicious enough to warrant immediate action. You’re about to give yourself a water break when you see it. An older man walks in wearing a black suit and tie. He opens his jacket to reveal a gun. His eyes are set on Loki, and you take immediate action.

You’re ready to aim and fire, and you don’t hesitate to take the shot. The man goes down, and panic breaks out. Screams are heard and people run, but you have one clear goal in mind.

“Saunders! Marcus! Head to the east wall! We’ve got a break in,” you say into your ear piece.

You rush down to the party in search of Loki. Thor has his own security as well as the King and Queen, so you have only the youngest prince to worry about.

“Loki! Let’s go!” you yell and grab his hand.

Being Loki’s personal bodyguard, and you’re not going to lie here, is eventful. While it is always chaotic, there is never a dull moment. Sometimes you want to strangle him in his sleep, but that’s a personal issue. One of your girlfriends thinks that you have a crush on him, that you're jealous of the girls he talks to. You’ve called her out on her bullshit before because you absolutely do not have a crush on him.

Would you have a crush on him if you dreaded going anywhere with him? Do you have a crush on the way his clothes fit to form his body? Do you have a crush on how blue his eyes are? Yes! No! Shut the fuck up and do your job. If Loki knew the kind of things that went on inside your mind whenever you looked at him, he would be on another level.

“What are you thinking?” Loki asks with his hands clasped in front of him.

“Excuse me?” you ask.

“You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes. Now I could just look inside your mind, but I feel that would be a violation of privacy.”

“Thanks for your thoughtfulness,” you say sarcastically.

Loki remains silent which is kind of out of character for him. He just sits there and closes his eyes as if he’s thinking or resting. Loki never does this because he loves bugging you too much. You frown and watch him for a few seconds before speaking.

“Loki what the hell are you doing?”

“My oh my, Y/N. Such naughty thoughts for someone you claim to hate,” he smirks devilishly.

“Stay out of my fucking mind, Loki,” you glare.

“How can I when I now know you’ve been wanting to s—”

“Okay, Loki, stop it.”

“Stop what? You’re the one that’s been denying what you truly want. All I’m saying is… I’m right here.”

“Excuse me?” you ask with your eyebrows raised.

“Why deny what’s right in front of you? We’re an hour away from where we need to be. That’s all I’m saying,” he shrugs.

You’re not sure how it happened, just that you know you were seated in your own seat for a minute and now you’re on his lap. Your fingers thread through his silky hair, and your lips mash against his. His hands grip your waist so tightly that you know there will be bruises even underneath your clothes. Loki is the kind of man to take charge even if you are on top.

His tongue swipes against your bottom lip, but he doesn’t wait for you to open up. He shoves his tongue into your mouth, and you moan in appreciation. He’s from an icy planet, but his kisses are hot. Being the God of Lies, he has a silver tongue, and you can taste the lies right off it.

There is no time to waste, and it’s not like you’re here for anything else. You move your hips against his own, and you can feel his erection poke into your clothes center. He may not be as big as Thor (you accidentally saw his cock, and that’s a story for another day), but he is definitely big.

“Let me please you,” you whisper against his lips.

“I’m all yours darling,” he drawls.

You smirk and pull your lips from his only to attach them to his jaw. He’s got ice cold skin, but the heat coming from your mouth is enough to warm his body. You leave a trail of small kisses down his neck until you try to find the one spot that will melt his insides.

“Good luck trying to find it. Many have tried, all have failed,” he chuckles.

That only encourages you to keep searching. Your tongue licks wet stripes across his skin, marking your path for later. You get to the bottom of his neck where it meets his shoulder, and you unintentionally bite down on his skin. He tenses, surprised and shocked you actually found it, but he hopes that if he doesn’t say anything, then you won’t know you found it. However, you know exactly what his body is telling you, so there is no point beating around the bush. You suck the skin into your mouth and nibble on it, sure to break the blood vessels beneath it.

He doesn’t make a sound, but his cock grows beneath you, so you know he enjoys it. Once you’re sure you left a mark, you pull away and kiss up to his ear. You give one lick on the shell before whispering to him.

“I found it,” you smirk.

All you get in response is a grunt, and that’s your cue to start heading south.

“You think you’re so slick, huh? Let’s see how you do wrapped around my cock,” he suggests.

“I can’t think of anything better,” you retort.

You slide off his lap and onto the floor of the limo. Your hands are already at his belt buckle, but he’s already using his magic on himself. In a soft gold shimmer, he is stark naked for you. Damn, people don’t realize just how lean and toned he actually is. Whenever he’s standing next to his mountain of a brother, it’s hard to tell just how strong Loki is. He’s pale as fuck, but that makes him more attractive.

His cock stands at attention for you, and despite his milky skin, the tip is raging red as a dollop of his come is dripping down the side. Your mouth waters at the sight, and you don’t waste any more time. You wrap your fingers around the base and lean down to press a kiss on his tip. His hand immediately goes to your hair and fists it. He gently but firmly lowers your head down, but you don’t deny his need. Your mouth envelopes his cock, and you press your tongue to the underside as you take him fully. He hits the back of your throat, and you gag lightly.

He shifts down just a little so his feet are firmly planted on either side of you. He takes this opportunity to thrust into your mouth, and you slack your jaw wider so he can move freely.

“Fuck, you look absolutely stunning,” he moans.

All you can do is moan in response, and it sends vibrations through his whole body. His thrusts get deeper but less often, which can only mean he’s either looking for more stimulation, or he just needs a tighter fit.

To stimulate him further, and to help him reach his end, you reach down and cup his balls. He jerks as soon as your hand makes contact, but you don’t back away. Instead, you grip him more firmly and begin to fondle them. His thrusts become sloppy, and you know he’s nearing his end. You give one hard squeeze, and he comes undone.

He throws his head back and lets out a loud grunt as his load shoots into you. It hits the back of your throat, and you try your best to swallow it down. His grip on your hair loosens until he is no longer touching you. You swallow every last drop before popping off him.

“Mmm, I didn’t know you’d taste that good,” you grin.

“I bet you taste better,” he smirks and pulls you up.

“I’d rather feel you stretch me out,” you whisper seductively. “Think you can handle another round?”

“Darling, you have no idea what I can handle,” he smirks, and uses his magic to shimmer away your clothes.

You’re already wet and ready for him, so you when he slides inside you, it’s very smooth. You’ve never been with a man like him before. He fits perfectly, and you have a hard time believing that you’ve never done this before.

He holds you close to his body, and with his feet planted firmly on the ground, he starts thrusting up into you at a high speed. You toss your head back and let out a loud moan, but he doesn’t seem to care. His pace is brutal, but you’re more focused on the pleasure he’s giving you.

“Fuck! Loki!” you cry.

He doesn’t want all of Asgard knowing what he’s doing to you, so he grips the sides of your face to bring you into a kiss. His lips are bruising, but you like the thought of him marking you up however he wants to.

“Are you going to come for me… pet?” he asks.

The use of the pet name is what brings you over the edge. You don’t even give him any warning before you release all over him, and he holds you to his body tightly. There isn’t any time to do another round, so he forces himself to calm down since he’s got a lot more stamina than you even realize.

With one deep thrust, he moans as he shoots his load into you. He’s never been with a woman that makes him feel the way he does. He really needs to keep you. Maybe you being his bodyguard isn’t such a bad thing.

Once you two are spent, you get off him with shaky legs. Loki uses his magic to replace your clothes as well as fix both of your hairs.

“Why haven’t we don’t that before?” you chuckle breathlessly.

“Because you’re stupid,” he smirks.

“Takes one to know one,” you retort. “From now on, I’m the only woman you use. Got it?”

“You don’t know what you’re signing up for, my dear.”

“I think I do. I get you, don’t I?”

“You do.”

“Then that’s enough for me,” you chuckle. “Just don’t let anyone compare you to your brother because you are not your brother.”

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[medea10]

My Review of Rent-A-Girlfriend

How did I get into this anime? Let’s just say due to a few websites I frequent around decided to be little whore-ish, I became curious by this particular title. Let’s just say they were mentioning this one at least every other day prior to the premier. So out of natural curiosity and knowing nothing of what I’m getting into, I decided to add another Friday anime to my watch list. I guess Fridays are my busy day for watching anime!

Kazuya Kinoshita is a 20 year old college student. Life seems to be going well for him until his girlfriend decides to dump him.

Not even 30 seconds into this anime and this sad-sack gets dumped!

SERIOUSLY! 18 SECONDS! NEW FRIGGIN’ RECORD!!!

So after Kazuya gets dumped, he ends up on a website and before you know it, he’s made arrangements to go on a date with a rented girlfriend! Yes, these are very much a thing. You can go to a website and pay a woman to go on a date with you. Apparently, Japan has a lot of these services and it does get a little ewwie with it so I’m gonna move on with the synopsis.

The girl he ends up going out with is named Chizuru Ichinose. The first date seemed to be going well, but Kazuya felt off by this girl. He just thought Chizuru was just playing with her clients hearts, plus he’s still a little heart-broken from his previous girlfriend, so he gives her a bad review. So when they go on their second date, Chizuru’s cutesy, sweet act is replaced with someone who is tempermental and sassy.

Just then, Kazuya gets word his grandmother collapsed!

I know it’s weird in the synopsis, but just go with it!

With word of his grandmother in the hospital, Kazuya ends up taking Chizuru to the hospital with him. Turns out Kazuya’s family jumped to the obvious conclusion that this girl is his girlfriend and they went nuts. Mostly at the fact that their son actually got a cute girlfriend! Add another layer of WTF to this cake, Chizuru’s grandmother is in this exact, same hospital as Kazuya’s grandmother. And both ladies are over the moon that these two are dating (even though that’s far from the truth). Chizuru hasn’t even told her family that she’s working at Rent-a-Waifu! Well, let’s just break things off and let the family down easy.

Oh, look! They both go to the same university. Oh look! They’re also next door neighbors. I smell shenanigans!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: At this moment, the only one streaming this series is Crunchyroll. A few weeks into the premier, Crunchyroll started airing a dub. As for the sub, this is my first time really listening to the main lead’s seiyuu, Shun Horie. But the rest of the cast has a nice mixture of memorable voices like Aoi Yuuki, Rie Takahashi, Sora Amamiya, Gakuto Kajiwara…oh fuck!

DAMMIT ASTA, STOP HAUNTING MY EAR-DRUMS!

As for the dub, Crunchyroll is currently publishing an episode once a week. The dub is just okay in my opinion, really nothing to write home about. The only thing I can say is that Aleks Le did a fairly-decent job voicing Kazuya. After voicing Zenitsu last year, he’s got a knack for voicing wimpy twats. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kazuya is played by Shun Horie

*Chizuru is played by Sora Amamiya (known for Toka on Tokyo Ghoul, Aqua on Konosuba, Miia on Monster Musume, Akame on Akame ga Kill, Elizabeth on Seven Deadly Sins, and Yachiyo on Magia Record)

*Mami is played by Aoi Yuuki (known for Iris on Pokemon BW, Madoka on Madoka Magica, Kayo on ERASED, Yuuki on SAO II, Tatsumaki on One Punch Man, Tamaki on Fire Force, and Kinako on Inazuma Eleven GO)

*Ruka is played by Nao Touyama (known for Chitoge on Nisekoi, Koga on Bunny Girl Senpai, Nii on Blue Exorcist, Akira on Kono Oto Tomare, Momo onAi Tenchi Muyo

ENGLISH CAST: *Kazuya is played by Aleks Le (known for Zenitsu on Demon Slayer and Ake on Shield Hero)

*Chizuru is played by Lizzie Freeman (known for Cardinal on SAO: Alicization, Iwanaga on In/Spectre, Trish on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 5, and Felicia on Magia Record)

*Mami is played by Laura Stahl (known for Ray on The Promised Neverland)

*Ruka is played by Sarah Williams (known for Sayaka on Madoka Magica, Felix on Re:Zero, Nonon on Kill la Kill, Mirai on Boruto, Lisbeth on SAO, and Puck on Berserk 2016)

DISLIKED CHARACTER: And now, a poem…

Roses are red Mami’s a cunt…

That’s the poem.

SHIPPING: I can honestly say I didn’t expect the Rent-a-Girlfriend and the Ex-Bitch to meet each other in the second episode. Even after going on a few dates with Chizuru, Kazuya still finds himself “beating his meat” to the thought of his ex, Mami. Only for the girls to beat your meat to change places just a few episodes later!

Oh yes, it’s that kind of series! Kazuya jacks off quite a bit.

Kazuya x Chizuru: At times it feels like Kazuya is really falling for Chizuru for who she really is and not the façade she puts up as a rental girlfriend. But I guess the number of awkward setups and situations these two have been thrown in throughout the series can do that to Kazuya. I mean, how else do you expect Kazuya jacking it off to Chizuru when he’s trying to think of his ex?! Yeah, he’s lied to his family, Chizuru’s grandmother, and all of his friends about this relationship and this relationship is as fake as a three-dollar bill. But there are a few genuine moments that show these two care for each other. Kazuya was ballsy enough to jump off a moving boat to save Chizuru when she fell overboard. And Kazuya felt concerned when Chizuru was thinking about leaving the rental girlfriend profession. Though that could be Kazuya being a pathetic sack of shit and wanting to continue this farce relationship and paying a girl for some attention! It’s so hard to say something kind about Kazuya wanting this relationship to work. But for what it’s worth, I like the farce ship better than the next thing I’m going to speak about.

Kazuya x Mami: I don’t like this bitch and I hate this ship. From the get-go you go in hating this succubus. And when we see her again in episode 2, bitches be bitches! Getting drunk in a public setting and making fun of Kazuya not being man enough for her (in the sexual sense). Then, we get Mami trying to go home with Kazuya when Chizuru is gone. But we don’t stop there, she’s trying at every opportunity to make Kazuya drop everything and fall in love with her again. She’s the one that dumped him, but can’t stand seeing Kazuya with anyone else (no matter the awkward circumstances). It’s clear that Mami has severe jealousy issues. I mean, Chizuru is prettier and nicer than Mami. Meanwhile, Mami is a manipulative scum-wad with the charm of a poisonous snake.

Kazuya x Ruka: Ruka was a rental girlfriend from a different agency and was on a double date with Kazuya, Chizuru, and Kazuya’s idiot friend that sounds like Asta. But due to several misunderstandings between Kazuya and Ruka, turns out Kazuya is the only man to get her heart rate up. So Ruka cuts ties with the idiot friend who hired her and has set sights on Kazuya. And she will fight for her man no matter what. She’s even ballsy enough to interrupt Kazuya’s family celebration of New Years by coming in like an asteroid to fuck things up. At this point in the series, Kazuya’s grandmother is dead-set on him marrying Chizuru. Any other girl is shit compared to her! But Ruka will continue to do her thing. Even applying to the same job that Kazuya works at!

Kazuya x Sumi! You expect me to say something about this? They had one bleeping date! And she’s barely seen outside of the opening and ending themes. If there’s more interactions in season two, holla back at me because this ain’t happening. Although, I’ll support the fuck out of this ship over Kazuya x Mami!

BIG SIMPIN’: So being an older millennial (or X-ennial as I’m currently classified under), I am not hip to the lingo of these youngins. Because of Kazuya, the internet uproared by calling him a phrase known as a “simp”. Well, I don’t want to seem like some out-of-touch boomer. So I’m just going to look up this “simp” term and see if this is legitimate. Let’s see what the Slang-tionary says.

“Simp is a slang insult for men who are seen as too attentive and submissive to women, especially out of a failed hope of winning some entitled sexual attention or activity from them.”

Okay. I think it’s time for the rap interlude of this review.

I don't know what you heard about him But a bitch will get every dollar out of him No cherry-poppin’ as you can see That he’s a motherfucking S-I-M-P

ENDING: Being a rental girlfriend isn’t something Chizuru wants to do, but this gives her practice in what she really wants to do, which is become an actor. And as of recently, Chizuru has been thinking about quitting the rental girlfriend agency. So what would happen if Chizuru quit being a rental girlfriend? That’s a question for another day and another season!

So only a few people have learned about Kazuya and Chizuru’s relationship being the most complicated farce in anime history. Halfway into the series with Ruka’s introduction, she caught on about Chizuru being a rental girlfriend. And because of that incident, Kazuya decided to come clean to his idiot friend, Shun. When Shun hired Ruka to be his rental girlfriend, dude was on top of the world. But when Ruka exposed what he did in front of Kazuya, Shun got severely depressed. Kazuya decides to pay for Chizuru to take Shun out on a date. That’s when Shun finds out that Kazuya hired Chizuru after Mami dumped him.

You know what? I have to spring this up! How long did you think Kazuya was going to hide the rental girlfriend thing to his friends? He’s friends with a bunch of stinkin’ virgins. Lonely, stinkin’ virgins! Plus, if Chizuru is rated #1 on a Google search for top rental girlfriends (as it was established in episode 10), I’m surprised no one else caught on, including the grandmothers. Kazuya’s grandmother is constantly playing on her smart phone. Shun is on the internet all the time. I’m surprised there isn’t an annoying pop-up ad in Japanese Google that would flash at them at any point saying, “Meet legal Japanese chicks in your area” redirecting them to the rental girlfriend website. Followed by giving you a gnarly computer virus!

Well, we’re 10 episodes in a 12 episode series. Why not finally introduce the fourth girl that we’ve been seeing in the opening and ending themes all season?! Chizuru asked Kazuya for a favor to go out with the new rental girlfriend at the agency to help boost her confidence. Enter, Sumi! The best way to describe this silent, moe-blob is a less busty version of Mikuru Asahina. Kazuya and Sumi’s date went over somewhat okay. Kazuya saved Sumi from a bunch of thugs. And while Sumi was silent throughout the entire date, she managed to squeak out a thank you at the end. So not a bad date, right?

Unfortunately, during the date, Mami saw them and trailed them. And it went down just as you would imagine! Mami confronts Kazuya, Kazuya comes up with some bullshit lie to Mami, Sumi is still silent, and Mami is up to no good after she leaves.

Because Mami learned Sumi’s full name, she went to the internet to find a profile or something on a social network. That’s when Mami learned that not only Sumi was a rental girlfriend, but Chizuru as well. It’s not so bad that Shun knows about Chizuru, but if Mami finds out, game over. Game over, Kazuya! So what happens next?

Mami catfished Chizuru by calling her out for a date using the rental girlfriend website! Then they go to the karaoke bar Kazuya works at for their “date”.

GAME OVER KAZUYA! GAME OVER! You lost all 5 lives. Please return to world 1 and may God have mercy on your simpin’ ass!

Kazuya watched their date from a distance (and this time he didn’t get caught eavesdropping like the last time he followed Chizuru). And after a cute mention of the singers to the opening and ending theme to the series, Mami and Chizuru end their date with an exchanging of words. All this proved is that Mami is still a jealous bitch with a dead look in her eyes and Chizuru likes Kazuya. We think! Either Chizuru meant what she said to Mami or she’s a really good actress. When Chizuru came back to the apartment complex, Kazuya met her outside and thanked her for what she said to Mami followed by a confession.

Ah yes, a confession of love! As the credits roll, we see flashbacks of the past 12 episodes and end the series on a cute note and a possible opening to an OVA and we can end from…

Oh wait, there’s more!

Kazuya says he wants Chizuru to continue being his rental girlfriend. Because he knows she’s planning on quitting the rental girlfriend business! So he smooths that over! Both played this off with a wary poker face, but behind closed doors, they are sweating bullets.

OH, and season two has been green-lit. Fabulous!

This anime was addicting to watch. I don’t know if it was as addicting as Uzaki-chan. Then again, I picked to watch Rent-a-Girlfriend over Uzaki-chan. But this was an addicting train-wreck! Watching this dumbass try to fool his family and friends that he really was able to get a cute girlfriend for a full year! How the hell could anyone fall for that mess? People still watched this dumpster fire of a relationship right, so why bitch about the stupidity of Simpy McSimperson over here? I am glad we’re getting a second season because we really didn’t get a chance to see much of Sumi. I know she’s no contender when you put her next to the great Chizuru, but good golly, give this girl some screentime aside from the one episode she got. They made her seem like she was going to be a big player in this anime, but only getting a bit role. I also want to see if Mami is going to redeem herself from the cunt we saw since 18 seconds into the series. I seriously doubt it, but it just gives me more reason to cuss at the computer, calling her every horrible name in the book. And as for Ruka…there’s nothing to say. She’s just gonna be second best no matter what the fuck happens.

As addicting as this anime was, I can’t ignore how many times I had to facepalm at every, stupid action done by Kazuya. I mean, several times per episode, butt-for-brains does something stupid that makes us say, “Dude, WTF” or “Bruh”. Lying to your family, lying to your friends, giving a bad review to your rental girlfriend for giving you great service, jacking it to your ex when you’re clearly hot for Chizuru, following a guy around because he spends the day with Chizuru, and it just goes on and on! You want to root for this twerp in hopes he gets the girl of his dreams in the end, but at the same time, you’re like, “This guy is a total dink.”

Oh, let’s see what season two has to offer…whenever that comes.

In the meantime, if you’d like to check out Rent-A-Girlfriend, Crunchyroll has all 12 episodes available in both sub and dub.

[theliterateape]

Why Keep Giving Facebook My Business?

By David Himmel

It was the day after Christmas, 1996. I was a senior in high school on winter break. My friends and I piled into Brad Feely’s red Jeep Cherokee—me in the trunk because there weren’t enough seats for all of us and I was the smallest and cramming into a car too small for the passenger load is what high school kids do. We were headed to the mall to return ill-fitting gifts and fuck around because fucking around at the mall is—was—what high school kids do.

Brad had some things to return or exchange at Abercrombie & Fitch. He was at the checkout counter with the young woman making the exchanges. The rest of us wandered around the store. I started throwing on shirts, coats, hats, scarves, and such and acted out a runway fashion show. My friends giggled. I went bigger with my one-man flash mob fashion show. Other customers stared, some laughed, some ignored me. I went bigger. My friends laughed harder. Other customers laughed harder and tried to ignore me. I had achieved my goal. I’d fucked around in a store and made people laugh.

I took off the clothes, placed them back on the racks and shelves and walked up to Brad still at the counter. The employee had stepped into the back to retrieve something.

“Almost done?” I asked him.

He whispered to me, “You won’t believe what this girl just said about you.”

“What.”

“She called you a ‘dirty faggot.’”

“What!?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re sure.”

“One hundred percent. She said it under her breath, but, yeah. I heard her say it.”

I waited there for the young woman to return. A few moments later, she did. She finished up Brad’s exchanges, handed him his bag of stuff and said, “Have a nice day.”

“Excuse me,” I said to her, leaning in so as not to make a scene. Because this scene wasn’t going to be funny. But I was sure not to be too quiet about it since I did want the store to know what was going on. “Did you see my fashion show?”

“Um. Yeah?”

“Did you like it?”

She smirked uncomfortably. “Sure.”

“So why would you call me a ‘dirty faggot’?” Her face went white. Blank. Her eyes wide. Mouth agape. She’d been caught. “Yeah. My friend here heard you say it. So my question to you is this: What was dirty about what I was doing? And what about what I was doing made me a ‘faggot’? And if you thought I was being gay, what’s wrong with that? And why would you refer to a gay person as a ‘faggot’? Seems a little hateful.”

“I… I…” she stuttered, still pale faced and surprised.

“Doesn’t seem like the best customer service, does it? Insulting your customers—or their friends—with homophobic slurs.”

“I… I…”

“Yeah. Mind your mouth. Don’t be such a hateful, homophobic asshole. Especially in a store filled with photos of what have to be the gayest modeling shoots in retail history.”

People were watching and I took the cue to go louder. “That’s right, everyone. This woman, this Abercrombie & Fitch employee called me a ‘dirty faggot’. Just know the kind of person you’re buying your clothes from.”

I saw one guy drop whatever was in his arms and walk out. My friends and I followed suit.

✶

I never stepped foot in an Abercrombie & Fitch store after that. And I’m proud to say I never owned or wore a single item of theirs after my impromptu fashion show. Yeah, sure. She was a bad apple, but still. It had turned me off to the whole brand. Fuck ‘em.

Did my not buying their mostly ugly clothes—country club grunge?—hurt their bottom line? Did it send a message? No. Certainly not. Did it change the mind and behavior of that employee? I have no idea. Maybe. Maybe she’s a super-duper social justice warrior today. Maybe she doubled down and tried to Stop the Steal. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I experienced an insult to the customer and a group of people, and chose not to give that company my money.

I don’t shop at Hobby Lobby because of their treatment of workers—denying them birth control through their benefits program. I don’t eat Chick-fil-A because they oppose marriage equality and used to fund activities to suppress it. I wring my hands every time I order something on Amazon because I’m worried the worker filling my order might piss or shit themselves trying to meet their quota with my order. Or worse, get hurt doing so. Because we all know that Amazon treats its warehouse workers like demented mules instead of actual human beings with physiological limitations and full bladders.

It’s principle. I try to spend where my money will do the least harm because I know, in most instances, my spending won’t help much other than to keep someone employed at a shit job and make the owner that much richer.

So why haven’t I quit Facebook yet? Same reason I haven’t quit Amazon: It’s too convenient.

Also like Amazon, but far worse, Facebook is a monster. It was from the start. I joined under duress in 2008 because it was part of my job. When that job laid me off in the wake of the Great Recession, I killed the account. But Facebook gained more and more traction, and it seemed that I was missing out. Plus, it was a great way to promote the shows I was writing and producing. And I reconnected with old friends from lives past. Fun!

It became a reflexive way to procrastinate. Instead of standing up and stretching or reading a news story or going for a walk, I’d scroll mindlessly. Still, it was fun. It became a habit I wasn’t even aware of.

And it’s still fun, sometimes. I enjoy being easily—reflexively lazy—connected to those old pals I don’t see every day and probably wouldn’t communicate with if not for the ease of Facebook. But Facebook is bad. And when I say Facebook, I’m including Instagram, which I rarely use. (I have no issue with WhatsApp but I also only use that maybe once every two years.) They both suck. So it’s bad for our brains, bad for our body images, bad for democracy, bad for discourse, and so on. None of this is news. And this week’s whistleblowing of how actively evil Facebook leadership is reinforces the fact of how bad it apparently wants to be. And that’s insulting to all of its users and even non-users.

Because Facebook could still make millions of dollars a week and take active measures to be a better corporate citizen, a better steward of human decency. Like, has Facebook even added a pink ribbon to its logo for Breast Cancer Awareness Month? I don’t think so. Evil.*

I don’t need Facebook. The community groups are nice. And I really do like seeing those old friends I wouldn’t otherwise communicate with. And I take joy in the possibility that ex-girlfriends might occasionally poke through my profile and see how awesome my hair is. But I don’t need it. If I want to promote something, I can place an ad anywhere else. My god, what did we do before Facebook? And there are so many other digital ways to share our bullshit.

If I leave, will Facebook feel it? Nope. Just like Abercrombie. My aversion is less than a pebble drop in the ocean. But I’ll feel better. Right? I’ll miss my friends I wouldn’t otherwise talk to, but if they mattered that much to me, I could make the effort to text or call. But I won’t. Because the apparent truth is that having them as friends on Facebook is more about the voyeurism. So wait, are we even friends then? Jesus. Facebook has even warped our sense of friendship. 

I don’t know if I’ll leave it. But it’s been on my mind for a while now. Maybe I won’t go cold turkey, maybe I’ll start by deleting the app from my phone. Or maybe it’s best to pack up all my shit and walk right out. That’s the advice I’d give to someone else in an abusive relationship.

 *Just so we’re clear, this whole going pink in October thing that companies, local police departments, sports organizations love to do is dumb. It’s the bare minimum at best and limp virtue signaling at worst. If you really care about breast cancer, do a better job of caring about women. So, you know, pay better wages, offer childcare, don’t shoot them in their homes. Take your pink ribbon and shove it. Do better.

[youralternantpersonality]

Gaslighting

OC x Reader then Embry x Reader

Warning: abusive tactics are used in this first part.

Part 1: “Gaslight” by Snow Tha Product

Part 2: “New Me” by Ella Eyre

Part 3: “Falling for You” by Tamia

***

“Gaslighting: (verb) to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their sanity.”

Being young and in love has its perks and downfalls. Isaac and I have been together for about a year and a half now and everything was fine at first, until a few weeks after he asked me to officially be his girlfriend in the beginning.

Oh you a big money spendin' Man who gets the women Big bill droppin' Want it, then you got it Rollie face wearin' If she lookin', then she starin' If she starin', then she carin' But can't put a finger on it

He was supposed to be saving up for college. We had both planned on going to Washington State. Well, he had planned for us to go. I wanted to go to the nearby junior college since I had no idea what I wanted to do. I figured I would save a ton of money getting my basics out of the way by paying half of what I would at a University.

But instead of saving his money, he was buying random crap and flashing it to everyone. I’m talking about new shoes, chains, brand named clothes. Stuff that he could buy later, stuff that wasn’t necessary right now. He was strutting like Instagram influencers—the same people he hated the most and promised to never be like.

You a big game talker, every ex's your stalker You ain't ready for no relationship, but can talk to her You just want some company Every bitch you fuck with either crazy or amazing Then you shady as can fuckin' be

I would catch him constantly flirty and texting random numbers. When I called him out on it, he would call me crazy and make me feel bad for not trusting him. And of course, I’d feel bad and apologize even when he was in the wrong. I loved him after all.

You can't commit and that's your greatest talent Claim you're breaking hearts like back to back Deep inside there's somethin' less than average 'Bout the bitches that you claim to bag Somethin' 'bout the bracket that you at Maybe all the practice that you have Wouldn't do you any good where I'm at Class ain't somethin' you can pay to have

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

Our break-up and make-up game lasted throughout Junior and Senior year. My friends constantly coming at me for not seeing his player ways. Me, not seeing the manipulation he was playing on me. The more I called him out on his bullshit, the more I was crazy, which made me angrier and more depressed.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Oh you a fuckin' Prince Charming out in public I'm like "Yeah, yeah, yeah" Lead me on, then they leave Then it's back to never there Throw the blame out everywhere "No one can compare" yeah, yeah You just never wrong, but here's your problem Now, I don't care

It was a game with him. Everyone told me to stay away, but no one knew him as I knew him. No one knew the side of Isaac as I did. Behind those deep silver eyes and freckled face, you wouldn’t believe how much of a softy he was. It was like he would pull a 180 on everyone.

But that was the thing. No matter how many times you pull 180’s, you’re still doing a 360. And eventually, you’ll get dizzy and fall apart.

You playin' with my mind, somehow every time Pretty lies come right out your mouth, and that ain't right Gotta fuckin' draw the line I've been just your type Prey on any insecurity you fucking find Got me questionin' my memory You're a narcissist, intensity You startin' off the problem, causin' drama Then you got me second guessin' me And I don't give a fuck which house your Moon is What sign you are or how you grew up You're a fuckin' adult and you got to get it together You're a dick and you're manipulative as fuck, ugh

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

“What the fuck Isaac! Are you serious?!” I yell at my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Out in the open at school, making out with Francesca DeLaurentis, the bitches of all bitches in the school. The look of shock on his face couldn’t describe how he felt.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Mad that your ex finally has something worth living for?” She laughs as if that was my problem. I ignored her.

“Really?! You couldn’t have the balls to at least break up with me first before sleeping with the known walking STD of the school?!” that seemed to snap him out of his trance.

“Seriously? That’s the best you got. You know what, fine. I should have, but guess what chubs, I didn’t. Plus, I don’t know why I even bothered staying with you. Look at you, why would someone like me bothered staying with someone like you. Look at you, why would someone like me, who can be with this fine ass here” slapping Francesca’s nonexisting ass, “be with someone like you? A sloth. You’re lazy, you don’t bother to present yourself, and really, could you at least put on make-up. Give me something to look at.” He said as if I was the one holding him back and I was the problem.

“Fuck you!” I said, before knocking him in the face and storming off. Lousy piece of shit.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

After that day, I threw everything of his that wasn’t worth money away. Sold what I could (thankfully his dumbass left a lot of valuable things here) and kept up with school. As soon as graduation was over with, he’d be gone and a thing of the past. And I couldn’t be happier about that.

It was painful, to be honest, but throughout that time “with” him, by slowly stepping away from him emotionally, it became easy leaving him for good.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Pulling up to the school the following week, was like a ton of weightlifting and falling on my shoulders. It was both painful and satisfying. Painful because I had to endure my ex, satisfying because my support group was here. Graduation and summer is only 2 months away and I couldn’t wait to start a semi-new life.

“Hey! Y/n!” Clair, my best friend, called out to me.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Did you hear the big news?”

“Francesca finally got pregnant?”

“No, well, maybe. But no,” she looks over my shoulder and smiles, “Someone had a nice glow-up.” I looked at her with questionable eyes and followed her eyesight. And boy was I glad. Embry Call struts the hallway as if he was a piece of gold crafted by God. He’d always been adorable, cute, and charming. Quiet and conservative among his friends.

“Hot damn,” I said under my breath. And it was like he heard me; he looked at me straight in the eyes and stopped in the hallway. At that moment, I felt warm and fuzzy—it was weird. His mouth opened a little and a grin grew on his face. His friends, Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote nudged him and followed his eyesight. They looked at each other and started laughing and pushing one another. Embry looked at them and said something before they started shoving each other.

“What I’d kill to be under anyone of them,” Clair said.

“I call dibs on Embry,” I said looking at her. She looked back at me and smiled then shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s fine, give me Paul for the night and I’m good.”

“Gasp! What about Quil? Your future husband and father of your kids.” I say dramatically and quietly to ourselves. She smiles and rolls her eyes.

“Oh, he’s still my baby daddy. I just want to try him for a night.” She says, like the hoe (metaphorically) she is.

“As long as I get Jared, I think we’ll be okay.” Kim walks up to us watching the rowdy 3 boys in the hallway. The bell rings, signaling the warning before class starts.

“Well girls, let's get our asses in there,” I said with faults determination. I look back and see Embry watching me. I smile and turn away. Unknowing to either one of us, another set of eyes was watching closely nearby.

[viva-la-fangirl]

Yesterday Part 4

yall got every right to be mad at me. end of the semester was crazy, holidays were crazy and then i jumped right back into my job. BUT I have part 4 here! 

And as always: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

warnings: bad grammar, misspelled words, cursing, mentions of previous abuse

IF YOU ARE HAVING DOMESTIC ABUSE: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233

words: 

The next weeks were a blur of anxiety, sleepless nights and paranoia.

Your mind revolved around your ex. His black eyes always raking over you. The feeling of him kicking you in the alley behind the restaurant where you decided to leave him. You begging him to stop.

There were times where you forgot about him. You went about your day and thought of you and Roger. The tour happening. Planning on which cities you would visit.

Then something would take you out of it. A smell, a sound, a tone of voice from someone passing by and it all came rushing back. Your skin crawled at every thought of him. Even with Roger in bed, with his arm protectively wrapping around you- you would lie awake for hours and wonder if your ex was trying to find you. Roger and the boys had been especially diligent about keeping the paparazzi away from you over the past weeks. Roger nearly yelling at anyone who looked at you for a little too long or even tried to attempt to bring out a camera. It made your heart flutter seeing Roger all protective, but it sank just as fast when you remembered the reason why.

“(Y/N)?” Roger asked. It was morning, the sun was barely up and hidden behind thick gray clouds. You refused to tell him you’d been up for at least an hour, two at the most. 

“Yes?”

“Nothing,” Roger mumbled before pushing his face into your neck. His warm breath making your hairs stand up and your body relax. He had been so good recently, not staying out too late, inviting you to band practice and being attentive, ordering food and going out whenever you needed something. 

You hated it.

Well, not totally. Admittedly you liked the extra attention. Usually during an album you were getting less attention than his drumsticks. It was nice to see a different side of Roger. 

But then again. You hated being paranoid. You hated putting Roger out in the middle of recording. You hated being scared to go out. You hated being scared. Secretly, as you would never ever admit this to Roger, but you wished your ex would find you already and hurt you- just enough to put him back in jail. It was an ugly thought that tainted your mind but, being scared just to go to the grocery was killing you. You missed a time when it was only paparazzi to watch out for instead of a man that beat you enough to break some bones.

It felt as if you were in your own personal horror movie. Walking around just waiting for the boogyman to jump and get ya. 

You laid with bed with Roger steadily breathing beside you, one arm draped around you as protection from the world. With one breath you snuggled closer to Roger who pulled you in tighter. At least for the moment you allowed yourself to feel safe.

If only that safe feeling lasted.

It was a cold day when the world dropped from under your feet. You had convinced Roger to finally let you out of the apartment to go for a hair cut. Truthfully you hadn’t been keeping up with your usual hair routine and it showed. Split ends with lack of color made it look greasy and lifeless. No way you could go to the boys concert tonight looking like this!

The wet but crisp air was welcomed. After being shuttled around from place to place for the past couple of weeks, outside felt like a stranger and the air welcomed your presence. Your lungs relished in non-apartment air drenched in remnants of cigarette smoke or cologne Roger loved. 

“You feeling good love?” Beatrice asked. She ran her fingers through your hair, and massaged your head. For a second you forgot where you were, always a sucker for a good head massage. “(Y/N)?” 

“Oh yes!” you brought yourself out of the trance. “Better than I have. Thank you,”

Beatrice was an old and trusted friend of your from your university days. You weren’t the bestest of friends but she was a reliable one and a killer hair stylist. She could make a raccoon look like Cher. 

“Oh love you should have come in weeks ago!” Beatrice fiddled with your hair. “This is absolutely dreadful- sorry darling,”

“No I know,” You admitted. “Can you help me?”

“Of course darling,” Beatrice smacked on her gum. “Might take longer than normal but you’re talking to the master,”

Beatrice went to work right away washing your hair. The next two hours were filled with mindless talking and laughs. Beatrice went on about her sisters tacky wedding and the silk bridesmaids dresses that resembled bubble gum. You told of you and Roger, how tour was starting up soon and they had a local gig just to break the routine. It was the first time you felt normal in weeks.

While the day to day wasn’t bad, the topic of your ex seemed to always linger in the background- just waiting to pounce. While you trusted Beatrice, you know bringing up your ex would welcome a flurry of questions you didn’t want to answer. For just a few hours, you wanted to be a Roger Taylor’s girlfriend getting your hair done. Not some girl who was assaulted by he ex. 

“I think we’re about done sweetie,” Beatrice smiled wide between her purple lipstick. 

You looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. Beatrice had really outdone herself. Your hair gained it’s color back. It looked fresh and healthy. Beatrice had even styled it for tonight.

“Oh Bea,” you fluffed your hair. “I can’t thank you enough,”

“Roger Taylor’s girlfriend deserves the best!” she exclaimed. 

After paying Beatrice and a couple more goodbyes you walked out the door feeling better than you had in weeks. 

Then came his voice.

“Hey (Y/N),” 

You froze. Keys in hand just about to open your car. Your blood ran from your face and immediately turned to ice. You turned to see him standing a few feet away. He looked worse than he did the last time you saw him in court. He had obviously gained weight. His beard was untidy and his hair was greasier than ever with streaks of gray sprinkling the sides. His snake-like eyes ran up and down your body, it was like a rusted knife threatening to pierce the skin. 

“What no hug?” he pouted. 

“You stay away from me Harrison,” you hissed. Blood pumped in your head so loud you couldn’t hear anything besides the words spoken between you and the guy who had beaten you so viciously you couldn’t remember some of that night. 

“Common hon,”

“Don’t call me that,” you wedged a car key between your fingers just encase. “How- how,”

“How did I find you?” Harrison flashed his yellowed teeth. “Humans are creatures of habit. You always went to Beatrice before a big event and with Queen’s gig tonight- I knew it would be a big event for you,

Queen gig. He knew about you and Roger.

Of course he would you idiot. You’re on the front of every tabloid from here to tin-buck-too. 

“You’re a real piece of shit you know that?” Anger took over. How dare this man come back into your life, a life you had overcome so much for, a life you loved with a man you loved. 

“Harsh words coming from someone who was going to marry me,” 

“I was manipulated into loving you. You hurt me. You belittled me. Then when I wanted to leave and said no to your proposal you beat me,”

“A little misunderstanding is all. I mean you could be a little over dramatic,” Harrison gas-lighted. “I lost my temper one time and you throw me in jail. Now how is that fair?”

“You hurt me. That’s not love.”

“And you think you have love now? With that Roger Taylor?” Harrison sneered. He said Roger’s name so grossly like he was thinking of something disgusting. “I mean common- I might have been a little angry but at least I never cheated on you,”

“Roger has never cheated on me,” You yelled as strong as you could. Before you and Roger got together you knew about his flings and girlfriends. Freddie had ranted about another one of Roger’s girlfriend’s flying off the handle after catching him in bed with another women. You knew about his past. 

“I won’t do that to you,” he promised. 

“How do I know that?” you weakly said. Roger had been asking you out consistently for the past 2 weeks. 

“Because...” Roger stopped. “Is saying you’re different too cliche?”

You laughed hardily. “A little,”

“Then call me Romeo because it’s true,” Roger stepped so close you could smell the strawberries you too had shared while watching a movie. “I know I’m not the best man, I fuck up a lot, I’m impulsive, I’m stubborn, I’m-”

“Roger,”

“Oh yeah. But the one thing I’m not is someone who is going to hurt you. After seeing you in that hospital, seeing how someone who claimed to love you could hurt you that badly- well it made me never want to see another tear from your eye,”

You melted and agreed to start seeing Roger. It was a slow processes but worth it. 

“So you ignore the magazines with him and a bunch of girls around him. Basically begging to be fucked by him,” Harrison shouted.

You had seen. It made your stomach turn but above all you trusted Roger. 

“What you and I shared is a fraction of what Roger and I do.” You stood up straighter. “I’m going home now and if I ever see you near me or Roger again I’m going to call the police,” You quickly opened the car and started it. Your hands shaking so much you could barely hold on to the clutch. 

Backing out Harrison peered into your window and with the radio blaring and a ringing in your ears you didn’t hear him say. 

“See you tonight,”

Tagged: sorry if i forgot anyone i’m not the best at this 

@alexfayer @marveley @mrsmazzello @frenchieswiftie  http://leahluhve.tumblr.com/ @yasnooshka24   @anita-e-taylor @benhardycult @jennyggggrrr​

[curlyhairallday]

Bumps and Dumps - Part 6

Harry and Hattie were best friends and fuck buddies until she got knocked up. Her life was becoming one big mess and even though her best friend had finally admitted his feeling but she believed it is only because of the baby.

Harold: Him…….

Hatters: We were just friends Harry and he actually seems to care about me and he didn’t have to knock me up to realise.

Harry kept rereading the text he finally realised how bad he had screwed up his chances with her. He had always known she liked him for the most part he never realised though that one day when the universe had made it clear he can be selfish he can have her she would no longer want him. He had spent the whole of the SNL after party looking at this photo of her and fucking sink boy. Aj had been his only real threat and now he was playing the role of Dad to his unborn baby, he should be rubbing her back not him. Ever since that skit all he thought about was them going to birthing classes, getting the nursery ready in the new house and talking to her bump. Harry had been getting updates from Gemma apparently Hattie had the tiniest bump which more looked like she was bloated but only they knew it was their spud.

He tried to type her a message several times and gave up. He just kept looking at that photo he went onto twitter to see what his fans were saying. He knew Jeff would come over and try and come up with a plan to diffuse the situation but he also knew Jeff wouldn’t care as after looking at his fans tweets everyone was speculating he was going to become a Godfather to Aj’s baby all he wanted to tweet was it’s mine. Most people had assumed she had just drunk a few too many and was paying the price. Harry was so wrapped up in his phone he had forgotten that he had invited his mates to the after party including two of his exes Kendall and Camille.

“What you looking at Styles.”

Kendall quickly grabbed his phone away, Kendall had never quite known what was going on between him and Hattie but she herself thought they were meant to be together. Kendall had realised shortly into her fling with Harry that their was another women and she had never disliked Hattie the two had got on well. They were not best friends but that was because they were opposites Kendall and Camille were both slightly vain and their lives were hollywood. Where as, Hattie dreamed differently something Harry found intriguing she hated the spotlight and anything glitz and glam she craved a different lifestyle she loved fighting for people to get their attackers behind bars and helping men and women to prosecute their other halfs for domestic abuse. She didn’t need attention or money she needed to help. Where as, Camille and Kendall spent time and money on the latest clothes to look cool which is something them and Harry had bonded over, Hattie spent most her time around the house in his hoddies or merch. He tried not to compare them to Hattie when he had dated them both as he knew no matter what they would always fall short. Even when Hattie lectured him on the dangers of drug use or how he shouldn’t smoke or allow Camille to smoke in the house because his lungs wouldn’t work very well and he wouldn’t be able to hold the high notes, Hattie was a goody goody in that sense and Harry loved her for that. Now she would save her lectures for court when she realised that her child was better with Aj as a father than this fuck up. He downed his drink to help with the sorrow.

“So Harriet is having fun, wow look her new boyfriend is hot.”

“Of course.”

“Come on Styles you are normally the first to admire a man's good looks.”

“I’d admire them if he had any, she could do better.” Harry grumbled.

“By better do you mean you? I must admit thought you two would finally end up together, I was surprised you and Camille lasted so long didn’t think you could stand to distance yourself from her.”

Harry knew she was right they had cut multiple trips short during there time together because Hattie had a big test or she was stressed or he just missed her.

“I heard my name.”

Camille kissed Harry on the cheek as she joined him and Kendall.  Him and Camille were on good terms even though at the end it had hurt but he always knew he was trying to make himself love someone, when that place had already been filed.

“H, why are you so sad you just killed SNL.”

“Capital is saying you’re going to be a Godfather, is that why you’re so sad missed because you missed your shot?”

Kendall exclaimed while looking through the twitter feed.

“Harry wouldn’t care about that. When is she due? I am surprised she didn’t tell you first? Wait is she still living with you?”

Camille fired question after question at him, Camille was lovely and intelligent but she was one of those people who never wanted her ex to move on almost like a power move. In her mind Harry would have never fancied Hattie as he should still be into her. Harry quickly downed his drink he had been trying to stop drinking to fill a void but he was currently failing.

“Styles tell us what’s going on? so we can cheer your miserable ass up and get the fuck out of here and celebrate.”

Harry looked around at all of his friends in the room they were all so Harry and here to congratulate him.

“It’s mine.”

“What’s yours H?”

Camille stroked his arm and glanced at Kendall waiting for her to answer, she normally understood Harry.

“Whats going on over here?”

Jeff joined the group kissing both the girls on the cheek before looking at his mates solomon expression. Harry grabbed another drink of a waiter and downed it. Kendall passed Jeff Harry’s phone.

“Harry mate slow down a bit. I will sort it have you called Hattie made sure she is ok?” Jeff tried to reason knowing that Harry wasn’t handling his transition into parenthood the best mainly due to the baby mumma issues. He also knew one of Harry’s rules was protect Hattie so even though this would blow over in the press it probably wouldn’t have made it there if she hadn’t been friends with Harry or caught with the future CEO of one of the most prestigious law firms in the Country.

“The baby its mine.”

“Wait what?” Camille laughed out not believing him.

“She’s nearly twelve weeks, I am going to be a dad.”

Jeff was busy texting someone probably to get the press under control about Hattie.

“So why is your girlfriend with a random guy at 6am?”

“We aren’t together she doesn’t want me. I screwed it up by ignoring her for other people. Her exact last text was basically said I only want her because I knocked her up.”

“Let’s just have fun H.” Camille gave him and kendall both a glass.

The rest of the night was a blur until he woke up the next morning to five missed calls from Gemma and two from Anne. He could barely open his eyes the hangover was that bad.

“Hey Mum, sorry I was out last night?”

“Harry you need to call Hattie. She is devastated they told her that the no longer required her at the firm. Said the press photo was not a good look for the company having a employee throwing up at 6am outside Starbucks. Apparently clients won’t take her seriously and she did sevre damage ”

“Wait what? Did she say she’s pregnant?”

“Gemma has tried to comfort her but she’s distraught. She did they already knew she thinks that’s why they did it. She said to Gemma is was a possibility.”

“I can’t come home mum I have the late late show and my interview with Apple.”

“Harry you need to do something? Honestly Gemma called me panicked as you weren’t answering Hattie tried to call you of Gemma phone apparently her pregnancy hormones caused her to throw hers at the floor the other day.”

“Mum I am going to go.”

Harry layed there trying to figure out what to say, he couldn’t get out of work these things had been booked for months. Maybe he could convince her to fly out here for a break I mean he was sure his record label could use a solicitor but knew she hates that bit of the law.

“Gemma pass me to Hattie” He cut of his sister hello he was in a rush.

“Hattie, I am so sorry baby. You’re amazing.”

He could hear her hiccuping back her tears this was her dream job she had been through shit to keep this job and now she had lost it thanks to him.

“I wo-r-ked sooo …. Hard Harry.”

She began sobbing again he knew how hard she’d worked.  She was a robot at uni trying to get a first and not settling for anything less.

“Hatters baby, come to LA.  I have to be here all week but we can figure stuff out ok. I promise I will make you feel better.”

“I can’t even get drunk to numb this pain.”

Harry chuckled a drunk Hattie was a scary sight .

“Get on a plane now I will pick you up myself we will get ice cream and cake or anything spud will stomach.”

“I can’t Aj said he could get me a interview at his dads, In the family law section it’s not perfect but it’s something. I was really helping people though H they took it away because of spud. I am not going to resent spud though it’s not his fault or hers. It’s his mummy’s for being a whore.”

“Hattie what the fuck? You are not a whore.”

“That’s what twitter is saying and the people at work said I get around.”

She began crying again and selfishly all he cared about was the fact that she would be working with Aj and that made his blood boil. He also still had the hangover from hell and was struggling to not vomit.

“When is this interview?” He calmly asked so to not upset her.

“Later today.”

“Ok after I will book a flight this evening. You need a little break we can spend the rest of the week together I only have to work today and tomorrow. I can selffishly get my best friend back and hopefully you will feel a bit better.”

“I think I like that, I am sorry for being a bitch recently it’s hormones and also I couldn’t hold in my feelings.”

“We can talk when you get here.”

Hattie was annoyed with herself for apologising she was still mad at him but she wanted him bad. She had the interview and Aj had helped her a lot they had offered her a job and she was so thankful for Aj. If not she would be a pregnant singleish mum with no money at least she lived with Harry so she wouldn’t be on the street. She was excited to start next week mainly because Emily had been distant with her recently so Aj was all she had friends wise who wasn’t somehow linked to Harry. She had packed light for LA not wanting to take a lot as the morning sickness had made her feel very weak. She was surprised that she was willingly seeing Harry but she needed to. They had never spent this long without constant communication she was also excited for him to hold her as she still couldn’t believe she had lost her job and managed to get a new one in a 24hour period I guess it goes to show how important it is to know the right people.

She spent the whole flight passed out in front of the toilet or with her head down it being sick. She was convinced this baby hated her.

Bump and Dumps Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs: BBC Atlantis 1x03, “A Boy of No Consequence”

Welcome back to the BBC Atlantis liveblog! Previously introduced:

THE HERO: Jason. Originally from Atlantis, raised on Earth and recently returned. Confused as hell about everything. Killed the Minotaur and now on the royal shitlist. Daddy issues and a mysterious macguffin amulet. Shirts optional. 

THE LANCER: Hercules. 'Nuff said.

THE SMART GUY: Pythagoras. The triangle guy. NERD. I love him.

THE BIG BAD: King Minos and Queen Pasiphae, rulers of Atlantis. The Minotaur is supposedly Minos's fault, but so far the show has been mum about bull-fucking, so it's not clear how true the show is going to stay to the myth.

THE LOVE INTEREST: Ariadne, daughter to the above. Smitten with Jason on account of his good looks (because let's face it, they haven't had much time to talk yet). Maybe she and Jason can bond over daddy issues?

SOURCE OF CRYPTIC EXPOSITION: The Oracle. Knows more than she's telling Jason... for his own protection. Prone to cryptic utterances and killing chickens.

ATLANTIS: A city that is NOT under the ocean, despite the fact that Jason traveled there in a sub. (I really hope it was called the Argo, but I forgot to check.) Has no leash-laws for two-headed dragons, an abundance of watermelons in the marketplace, and guards with surprisingly good aim--also, hunting lions, because why not?

I had to skip episode 2, so this is going to be fun. Let's see what I missed!

In the marketplace, Herc is crushing on Medusa [introduced in the last episode] and Pythagoras and Jason are trying to bring him down gently. They stop to help an old man with an overturned cart, and an Asshole Authority Figure I don't recognize shows up and smacks the old man around for blocking his way (just in case we were wondering whether we were supposed to like him). Jason intervenes and they fight, but the other guy has guards, so Jason gets arrested. Just another day in Atlantis!

All of the credits are still backwards and I hate it, but at least there's an actual opening sequence this time!

Cut to Pythagoras and Herc standing in the jail along with Jason. Pythagoras introduces the Asshole Authority as "Heptarion" so I'm forgiven for not knowing who he is. He's Pasiphae's nephew.

Cut to the three of them kneeling in front of the throne in chains, and Ariadne's standing there watching, and I think... she finds this hot. Minos and Pasiphae are all like "You again?" because this probably is going to happen every episode.

Minos threatens Jason with a death curse. Jason yells, and it doesn't go well. Herc tries to explain Jason's a tourist and doesn't know any better, and then calls on the whole Minotaur business as a chance for mercy. So Minos claims he's going to leave it to Poseidon.

Pasiphae asks if Ariadne likes Jason. Ariadne lies, and Pasiphae calls her on it. Ariadne says "You're not my mom," and OH SNAP, this explains A LOT, ACTUALLY. Ariadne's promised to Heptarion, so this is SUPER AWKWARD. Ariadne asks if Pasiphae would intervene with Minos, and Pasiphae punts and says it's up to the gods. Ariadne says she'll pray for Jason, then.

Herc claims that was the last time he'll ever help Jason, but he is a LIAR and also a HUGE SOFTIE, so I call bullshit.

IT'S THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS. Or at least of some sort of matador thing in a ring with a giant bull and people leaping over it with epic leaps. Everybody on a "team" has to survive in order to be free. Pythagoras talks about probability, because he is, as I've mentioned before, a NERD.

Their other team members are an African warrior who gives Pythagoras the side-eye and a girl who doesn't want to eat her food, so Herc steals it. There's also a random dude who picks a fight with the warrior.

Heptarion and Pasiphae meet for plotting and gossip about Ariadne and Jason. The team practices leaping over a practice bull. Herc trips and doesn't make it over, as Heptarion and Pasiphae watch. Pythagoras says that the queen is rumored to be a witch. Jason leaps perfectly, and everyone's amazed, no less Jason. Heptarion realizes his rival is harder to kill than he thought, but Pasiphae plans to help.

The girl cuts Jason's hair while he sleeps, which the random dude on their team sees. VOODOO MAGIC TIME.

The next day, the team watches someone get killed in the practice ring. The random dude baits the warrior, and we learn he's a Nubian prince! Jason tries to play peacemaker and suggests they band together, but nobody's buying it. They go into the ring and Jason tries to strategize but nobody listens.

Jason calls the bull to him and it LISTENS. Jason does his run thing and falls to the ground. The girl yells at the bull  and so do the others to keep him from a fallen Jason. TEAMWORK. Pythagoras and Herc carry Jason off the field and it turns out it was all a ruse to get the team to work together. Jason, you little schemer.

Herc hides under the table rather than let his ex-girlfriend catch sight of him. The Nubian prince says he has 3 wives and 7 kids, and he wishes he could go home. Jason tries to talk to the girl who won't eat and give her food and a pep talk. She starts to spill the hair thing and then runs away. Pasiphae does some VOODOO MAGIC.

The random dude, Cyrus, confronts the girl about the hair thing. The guy in charge interrupts before she can tell him anything. Cyrus tells the guy in charge what he saw, and gets stabbed for his trouble. So I guess there's only gonna be five people on the team?

(Note: all of the other characters have names, I just can't always understand what they are without subtitles.)

The trio know foul play when they see it. Jason goes to comfort the girl, and she confesses what she did in exchange for her freedom. (I assume they're going to double-cross her and kill her, because that's what happened to Cyrus.) Pythagoras has to explain the whole voodoo thing to Jason.

Herc mocks Jason's tase in women, specifically Ariadne. Jason protests they have barely talked, and I agree, but those long soulful gazes SPEAK VOLUMES. Herc calls Pythagoras "a fool with no knowledge of women" and this show is really not helping with the slash shipping here.

Heptarion tries to chat up Ariadne at the dinner table and it fails because Ariadne is such a killjoy and doesn't enjoy watching people die in front of her. You know, she's a weirdo like that.

Pythagoras suggests enlisting Medusa to steal the hair back. Herc objects because Love. Pythagoras has another idea, and it's Herc's ex-girlfriend! Herc chats up his ex, and convinces her to take a note to Medusa. I guess people can read in this show? News to me, but okay.

The next morning, they go out to the ring. Jason's not wearing a shirt, because... reasons?  Medusa sneaks in to the queen's bedroom and there's so much furniture I'm pretty sure that's not period, only to get nearly caught by the queen. But she does spy the secret ritual room, so there's that.

Epic sandal montage/power walk into the bull ring with the Squad. No, Jason is not wearing a shirt, why do you ask? He and Ariadne make eyes at each other, as Minos makes a speech about how this is totally not rigged. They chant the ritual phrases and get to it. PLAY BALL.... or PLAY BULL, rather.

Pasiphae stabs the voodoo doll and Jason crumbles in pain. The Nubian prince does a badass leap! And he's not even the protagonist! Herc yells at the bull to keep it away from Jason and does a less badass leap... but he does make it, and the crowd cheers anyway. The girl distracts the bull and leaps! The crowd cheers. The guy in charge looks pissed.

Just as Pasiphae is about to stab Jason's head, Medusa makes a noise / sets something on fire? Pasiphae runs out, and Medusa grabs the poppet. Now Jason is better! Jason gives Pythagoras a pep talk, since he also has to leap in order for them to win. Pythagoras's leap has no grace whatsoever, but he does it... which is better than I would do under the circumstances, let's be honest. He's so thrilled!!

Of course, Jason goes last because DRAMA. His flip is the best, because he's the LEAD, but I argue that the Nubian prince is more impressive because he's actually, you know, PRACTICED, instead of being just MAGICALLY TALENTED AND ALL.

They win! Ariadne loves Jason even more! Group hug for the five members of the team! Atlantis loves them! Minos tries to put a good face on it. They're free! Medusa yells out to Hercules and waves. She saved them all and didn't get caught! Nice!

Pasiphae tries to be nice to Ariadne, and she's not buying it. Pasiphae's all like, This is why being nice never works.

The Nubian prince is going to return the girl to her village and then go home. He invites the trio to visit, so I guess we'll see him again?? I hope so, I like him. The marketplace is still full of watermelons and Herc is convinced that Medusa returns his affections because she saved their lives and... sigh. Okay, then.

Anyway, all's well that ends well (I guess), but I have so many questions. Do any of these characters actually have jobs? What do they do for money? Are they going to get hauled before Minos and Pasiphae for not paying rent in the next episode? What does the Oracle think about all this? What happened to the two-headed dragons? Where are all the watermelons coming from? Does anybody in Atlantis actually buy them or do they just sit on that one dude’s cart and that’s why it’s always so full? Are the main characters going to go back to square one by the end of every episode or will the plot actually build on something? Will Jason and Ariadne actually talk to each other, or will they continue to gaze soulfully across the throne room while Jason’s a Very Naughty Boy Who Must Be Punished?

Apparently, the preview for the next episode makes it very clear it will be A BABY EPISODE, so we’ll see how many of these questions are answered.

[avengerscompound]

Legacy - Chapter 2

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  1800ish

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @marvelfluffbingo - Neighbor AU

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 2

You’d spent the week at Clint’s place before you were able to set the next door apartment up enough that you could actually live in it.  In that week a whole slew of things happened that you had felt would break you but somehow didn’t.

First thing was, was Richard was let out on bail the following morning.  He’d come back to the apartment block fuming and when he saw the notice of eviction and the locks changed he’d come storming upstairs and bashing on the door.  Clint had told you to go wait in the bedroom with the kids.

Richard had bellowed at Clint.  He called him an interfering asshole.  Screamed at Clint that it was none of his business.  That he had no right to lock him out.  That he was a fucking piece of shit nobody and that's why he couldn't cut it as an Avenger anymore.  Clint had just calmly taken it all.  Never once raising his voice.  That's when Richard had snapped and from the spot you'd taken peering through a crack in the door, you'd seen Richard swing at him.

You had then gotten to see exactly why Clinton Francis Barton had been taken on as an Avenger in the first place.  He had stepped aside and using Richard’s forward moment, he elbowed him in the middle of the back and knocked him to the ground.  Richard raised his head and saw you and you slammed the door closed.  There was a fight.  You could hear fist hitting flesh and things being broken.

When Clint called to you, he had Richard pinned to the ground with several of the neighbors there as witnesses.  The police had come and arrested him again.  It turns out, attacking an Avenger - even an ex one - was a lot more serious a crime than attacking your pregnant girlfriend.  Somewhat akin to assaulting a police officer or something.

Which led to the second thing that made you nearly breakdown, this time in relief.   He didn’t get bail.  Reoffending immediately combined with attacking an Avenger meant he had to stay in prison until his trial.

Following that, you had then been set upon by people in the building.  Bringing you things they no longer needed to help furnish your new home.  Just between your neighbors, you received linen, mismatched dinnerware, silverware, and a couch that was a little ratty and worn but still very comfortable.  They also bought food.  Dishes and dishes of it.  Until the small freezer that came with the apartment was filled to the brim and most of the fridge was too and it bled over into Clint’s.

Then Clint had said he’d just buy the other bigger things you might need.  When you had argued with him over it, he said he could always just rent the place as furnished later, or if you really wanted to, you could pay him back but you couldn’t live there with no bed.  So he’d taken you to Ikea and gotten the last few things you needed to move in.

Finally, after everything he’d already done for you, when he didn’t even really know you, he’d organized to have an interview at Stark Industries.  It wasn’t a job, but just that starting point when you’d been out of work for months thanks to Richard, was the foot in the door you desperately needed.  You worried.  You had the experience, but you were pregnant.  You weren’t exactly going to be able to keep working for long.

Which was worse?  Being in an abusive relationship or being completely alone?

It had been a full week and it had led you here, sitting on the couch with Clint.  This near stranger who had just changed your life.

“You can get your bed back tomorrow.”  You said.

“Mmm… that will be nice, this couch has been killer on my back.”  Clint teased.

“I can take the couch you know.”  You said.  “You’ve already done way too much for me.”

He shook his head.  “Laura would kill me if she found out I let a pregnant woman sleep on this piece of crap couch.”

“I don’t… Thank you.  I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t decided to help me.”  You said.

He gently touched your shoulder.  It was funny just one week ago if he’d tried that you would have flinched away from him.  Now, it was actually comforting.  You welcomed it and leaned into him a little.  “You don’t have to keep thanking me, you know?”

“I know but…”

He raised his eyebrow at you as if to say ‘seriously’ and you chuckled and shook your head.

“But…”  You continued.  “I just don’t know why you’d do that.  I keep expecting you to hit on me or something.  You know, that this is a transactional help.”

Clint frowned.  “He really fucked with your head didn’t he?”

You nodded.  “Yeah, he did.  But I’ve been with him for a long time.  No one else has ever even asked if I was okay outside of asking me what happened.”

Clint sighed and pulled away from you.  It was almost like he was ashamed of his reasonings and thought if you heard them, you’d judge him for it, even after everything he’d done.  “I guess there’s a couple of reasons.  When I was a kid I was pretty badly abused by my dad.  I guess that’s a big one.  No one ever really did anything to help me when I was trapped with that.  I don’t think I can just look the other way.”

You reached over and took his hand, and he linked his fingers with yours.  It was a reflex action.  At some point in his life, when Clint Barton had struggled, someone would take his hand and now when a hand slipped into his, his fingers closed around it without thinking.  You wondered if that had been his ex.

“You know when everyone died I lost my kids and my wife?  Cooper should be 18 now.  That’s so fucking weird.  Seeing that 13-year-old boy who’s just starting to get the starts of the man who he’ll be when he should be at college or some shit.”

He paused and let out a breath, shaking his head.  “I went crazy.  I couldn’t understand how my three innocent kids and my wife who had done nothing except support me even when I wasn’t the best husband in the world, had died just like that.  I didn’t even see it happen.  I was there teaching Lila archery I turned around and it happened while I wasn’t looking.  I didn’t know what was going on.  And we live in the middle of nowhere.  I thought they were pranking me and I looked and I looked.  I think something inside me broke.  When I finally found out what was going on I was so angry that they could be taken and yet the world was still full of complete scum.  I went around killing as many of the people I decided didn’t deserve to be alive as I could.”

He wouldn’t look at you as he spoke so you just sat stroking your thumb over the back of his hand, hoping that you could reassure him.  Let him know it was okay.  He swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing.

“My friend, Natasha.  Black Widow, you know her?”  He asked.  You nodded.  Obviously, you didn’t know her - know her, but you knew who she was.  Everyone knew who she was.  She was one of the Avengers that was lost.  While Tony Stark had tributes everywhere as large and vibrant as he had been.  Natasha Romanoff had been remembered in quieter ways.  Small shrines set up in cities in dark alleys and secret spots.  “She came and got me.  Pushed me back on track.  We had to … Fuck... I don’t even know how to explain it.  There was a point.  One of us had to die.  I tried to be the one.  She stopped me.  She wanted me to live so I could go back and take care of my family.  Only everything was different for me now.  Wasn’t it?  I’d become this monster while they’d stayed the same.  I don’t know if it was just in my head or what but it was just wrong.  Ya know?”

He turned his head and looked at you, with such pain and guilt written on his features.  You did know though.  Right now half the world existed having lived with the trauma of losing what had felt like everything.  So much had changed since then.  For you, it had meant moving forward.  For many others, it had meant stagnating in trauma.  There were children who had lost parents.  Parents who had lost children.  People had died from fall out.  Planes crashing because the pilot suddenly disappeared.  Power plants exploding because they’d suddenly lost half the people who were manning them.  People died during operations because their surgeons turned to dust on them.  The world had been in mourning for five years and then everyone had reappeared and they were lost and confused because the people they had loved had changed and grown and they were still the same.  You’d kept thinking about people like Clint whose kids had not grown.  Or worse the kids whose parents had come back to find them adults now.  Or twins where one was still small and innocent and the other was grown and hard.  You knew.  Of course, you knew.  A lot of families had not been able to survive people coming back.

You gently rubbed his arm.  “Yeah.  I know.”

“I failed her.  She gave up her life so I could be with my family and I couldn’t keep us together for her.”  He said.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t have ever just left you, but maybe before I would have just convinced you to go to a women’s shelter.  Now?  I gotta try and do something with my life that might actually mean that Nat’s death wasn’t a huge fucking waste.  And I hate that.  I hate that her death is what’s making me feel like this.  I should just be this person.  I wish I could go back and have it be me.  She would just be good because she was good.”

You wrapped your arms around him and held him as he melted against you.  “Clint, you’re still here with your kids.  The world has changed.  You still get to see your kids grow.”

“I know.”  He said quietly.   “I just… I had to help.”

You pulled back and gave him a friendly shove. “Well just know, I appreciate it and I'm really glad I get to be your neighbor.”

He smiled at you.  “I’m looking forward to it too.  It’s been nice having you here.”

You smiled and curled into his side.  Something you hadn’t felt comfortable doing with anyone in a long time.  He wrapped his arm around you and turned on the television.  You had been wondering this whole week which god you had to thank for sending Clint Barton to you.  Turns out her name was Natasha Romanoff.  You decided then and there you would watch out for him for her.  Her sacrifice was not going to go to waste.

// NEXT