#'make no attachments' but LOOKS AFTER ALL THE FAILURE CATS!! GET FUCKED!!

[whatyoutaughtwasfear]

did we know that the qsmp eggs were failed bird hybrid experiments? bc that feels huge and i havent seen anybody talking about it

[neonnoir-ao3]

Caine and Pomni falling in love in the Circus and making it out together only for Caine to realize how warped all their personalities were compared to who they actually are in reality, but especially Pomni’s.

Okay literal train-of-thought word salad from here on out, prepare yourselves accordingly.

• Like he knows Pomni as an anxious little jester but they love each other and she’s cute and funny and affectionate and all that fun stuff. But once they’re in reality he follows her like a lost puppy because he has no idea how this place works and gets to see how she actually lives.

• Pomni is basically an accidental femcel when it comes to vibes. A complete girlfailure, if you will. (socially isolated, chronically single brunette with glasses, you get the idea)

• A “nice relaxing night for her” is playing a random YouTube video essay that’s like three hours long while lounging on the couch and not wearing pants, eating an entire bag of chips and probably hitting her bong. She gave up on dating in college due to failure after failure so she’s accepted that she’s gonna die alone… or rather she says she has. (She read that “I’m not doing to be loved in this lifetime, am I?” quote in a TikTok slideshow and proceeded to down an entire bottle of wine that night while sobbing)

• She wanted to get a cat to ease the loneliness, but she doesn’t feel good enough— a cat deserves more than just a shitty apartment with a wreck of an owner in their mid-20s.

• He goes back to her apartment— it’s dingy and shitty but it’s the closest place to the office that she can afford. Her half of her pantry is ramen she bought in bulk. She’s medicated to high heaven and her kitchen counters look like a pharmacy.

• Pomni is either so fucking embarrassed when Caine sees how her life is in reality or the Human Depression™ in her Human Body™ has already set back in by the time they get there and she’s just miserably accepting of it. There is no in-between.

• She showers for the first time since The Incident (she didn’t need to bathe in the DC, her clothes were literally attached to her body there/hygiene was a total nonissue in that world) and she just breaks down and spends a good 30-40 minutes taking a scalding hot shower (as all the depressed girlies do) while sobbing her heart out. It’s cathartic as fuck to be able to lose her shit for once without the threat of abstraction, but it also hurts so fucking badly at the exact same time.

• Something about mental illness in real humans versus their digital avatars really messes with Caine. At the very least he could create a zany adventure to get their mind off of things, but then there’s some days where Pomni just stays in bed all day and doesn’t say a word. This world is so harsh and dull and colorless in comparison to the world he was made for, and there are fleeting moments where he wonders if it would’ve been better if they had both stayed there.

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt. 2

Synopsis: just even of YN and Harry fighting and making up in a civil over icecream

Series Masterlist | More of my work

Kayla was in the kitchen when she heard the front door being slammed shut, next thing she saw was YN barging into her room.

She was quick to follow her best friend in. YN just broke down crying. This whole thing has already been taking a toll on her emotionally and her mother pressuring her from back home. She regrets ever sharing it with her mother.

"YN, what happened darling?" Kayla asked, confusedly, "come here!" She pulled her best friend in a tight hug.

"It was my fault, right?" She sobbed, "it has to be my fault. I wasn't being careful. I slipped. That shouldn't have happened. I would have been done with it quicker. I just want to go home, I feel sick."

"I know, I know." Kayla shushed her, "but it wasn't your fault YN, trust me. It wasn't."

"But I slipped. I lost the babies. There were two of them." She shared, "both of them."

"What?" Kayla was in utter surprise. "You were going to have twins?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"YN, babe trust me, it wasn't your fault. And these things have higher rate of failure, you've got to trust me."

"I know, but it still hurts." YN admitted, "you know I told myself I'll not get attached to this baby or babies, but I failed on that too. I just couldn't save them. And I've always wanted to be mother, guess I shouldn't now."

"YN, you don't have to so hard on yourself." Kayla sighed and pulled her away from the hug, "look at me. You're doing god's work here. You're willingly helping someone have a baby, which is a blessing. You're literally blessing someone with a bundle of joy. And I know for sure when you're a mother, you're going to be a badass mother. And you know I want you to be god mother of my children one day. I wouldn't trust just anyone with my kids. Hell, I don't even leave my cat alone if it's not you."

"Stop, you're just saying it because you're my friend." YN shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm not. YN you know how blunt I am and I don't think twice before saying whatever comes to my mind." Kayla scoffed to punctuate her little warning, "what happened today? Did it work this time?"

"Mhmm." YN nodded again.

"Oh my god! That's good news!" She asked, "can I see the pictures?"

"I don't have them," YN plopped down on her bed.

"Dick!" Kayla muttered, "you know what? You sit here, I'm going to go make us some tea, we'll do face masks and watch The Notebook. I'll see if Julia can join us. We'll kick Josh out of the house for the night."

"Thank you Kay, but I think I want to be alone." YN sniffled, "I am tired and I've been so emotional lately."

"It happens, you're pregnant. You get all emotional-- I've experienced way worse with my mother she was pregnant with my brother-- and you have all the right too. Harry Styles is fucking dick wad, asshole."

"Kay!" YN sighed trying not to laugh. "Don't call him that. I'm overreacting."

"Admit it!" Kayla squinted her eyes at her friend. "And you're not overreacting. I'm gonna go make me a tea if you don't want any."

"Kay, I really want to sleep in. Please?" YN requested, "I am very tired. And I have a dinner to go to later."

"Okay. I'm home if you need anything, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

......................................................................

Harry decided to take stairs to the third floor than wait for the lift, panting her raised his hand to knock on the door but it opened up to reveal a blonde girl. It was one of YN's friends.

"What are you doing here, asshole?" She asked.

Wow! Her friends hate her after that night at his bar, don't they?

"Is YN here?" He asked.

"Yeah!" She said obviously, "whatever you did to her, you're asshole for making her cry!"

"I'm sorry." He said, "can I please come in and talk to her." The girl just shrugged and stepped aside.

"Kayla is home, and I swear if you hurt her feelings again!" The blonde warmed him before she was rushing out as she glanced in her phone.

Harry shut the door behind him as he took off his shoes to the side and padded his way down the hallway to YN's bedroom. He saw Kayla making tea in the kitchen. He could also hear small sniffling from YN's room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kayla asked.

"Please let me see her. It's important." Harry walked to YN's room anyway.

There she was lying on her bed facing the wall buried under her blanket, crying. "Kay, I told you I want to be alone please!"

"Hey it's me." Harry spoke softly as he shut the door behind him, "YN, look I'm sorry. I am bad with my words, I didn't mean to hurt you. Was just trying to look out for you that's all."

"I am not a baby." She sat up on her bed, her cuddle bear in her lap, "It's been eating me out inside, that if I could be just more careful. It would all be over sooner. It was my fault that I lost both the babies. I don't want another person making me remind that."

"No, I didn't mean to." He crouched next to her bed, "like I said I was just looking out for you. You were in pain for three hours, YN, and I couldn't get to you fast enough. That is eating me out inside. I, I, I don't- I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault at all. Accidents happen, everything is fine now."

"You clearly don't trust me,do you?" She shrugged simply, "no one does to be honest, I don't know why I'm so surprised right now."

"YN, I do trust you." He was borderline begging her now, "you know, I will not stop looking out for you just because I trust you. You I have my regrets."

"Okay."

"Okay?" He asked, "that's all you're going to say?"

"You're going to disregard what I say anyways, like everyone else." She got back in her bed, "I'm tired I want to sleep, if you're done."

"Do you want anything?" He asked, "anything to eat or drink?"

"I just want you to leave, please." She answered, more bluntly than she expected it to come out. He just nodded and walked back to her door but he stopped.

"You know, I am not a heartless person, YN. I was worried about you because I knew it might have not worked the first time around." Harry shared, "I find it hard to open up to people. But I am surprised I can say I can trust you, you were a complete stranger. With something no doubt I would die for."

"Then why did you even bother to go with me? You could have asked anyone you know, who's not a stranger to you, Harry. Why me?"

"Because I read through your entire application." He walked back to her and took a seat on the edge of her bed, "they don't let you meet the interested surrogate in some cases, but yours said you wouldn't mind being in touch with the potential parents just because you feel they should be able to be there every step of the way. Not many do that. I knew it you did it because you were in need for financial help. You could have taken advantage of that but you didn't. I've not met someone as selfless as you in a very long time YN. In fact the only selfless people I know are my mum and my sister. I don't know what else to do to make you feel any better. I'm sorry."

YN sat there in silence, so he continued, "I want you to know it's not your fault, whatever happened YN. There were chances it would have happened. But here it is, it worked the second time. It will work out, I-- we will try our very best to make it work this time yeah?"

She sniffled taking in a deep breath. She isn't selfless, at all. "I'm not selfless, Harry. And I'm sorry as well. I overreacted."

"It's okay now."

"Amd why did you wanted me to stay at your place?" She asked.

The first day she sat down to sign an agreement with him, there was a clause she made him change which asked her to live with him for the time being. She somehow convinced him to change that. To at least until eight months into pregnancy, just so she have someone until she heals and stuff postpartum.

"That's because I live barely five minutes away from my office, YN. I can get to you with in minutes. I can run back to my flat if I have to." He shared, "I asked you to quit your second because I want you to be comfortable, because I know how hard it can be waiting tables and dealing with rude customers on weekends and deal with teenage kids on week days."

"You worked at a cafe?"

"Mhmm. I worked at a restaurant before I had all of this, and I used to be a teenager once." He shrugged. "I understand why you don't wanna move in with me. But that doesn't mean I don't trust you. I do. Very much!"

"Okay." She nodded, wiping her face with cuffs of her shirt.

"I promise, I'll try to be good friend to you." He continued, "it will take me some time. But I promise I'll try my best."

"Okay." She repeated, "and I'm sorry, again. I've just been a mess lately. I cry over every little thing." And tears rushed out of her eyes again.

"I know, I know, and it's normal. Very normal for you to feel all these things." He carefully reached for her hand, leaning closer to her as much as he could, "I'm here if you need me. Always!"

Well, that always is going to come an end as soon as he gets the baby.

But it's comforting to YN in that moment.

"Hmmm. But please tell me when I'm being too much, okay?"

"I will." He assured her, "now you still wanna take that nap?"

"Yeah." She took a deep breath watching him be too close to her, her heart was jumping in her ears.

"I'll call you at six, I'm your escort to Jeremy's house for tonight." He whispered as there was no need to talk louder than that. Gazing to her mouth and back to her eyes he continued, "mean while I've got a meeting to attend in an hour."

"Harry I--"

"I know, you told me, but I am invited too. So let's save your hassle, yeah?" He said simply, "I am trying to be friends with you here, please?" He pulled away, it seemed reluctant.

"Okay." She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding back after he left shutting her door closed.

He did not!

......................................................................

YN was just getting ready to leave with both her best friends sat in her bathroom as she did her hair. Julia sat on the closed toilet lid as Kayla took a seat on the edge of the words smallest bathtub which was in YN's bathroom. YN was of course telling them everything that happened.

"What? He's definitely got a crush on you." Kayla said, teasingly.

"Definitely!" Julia agreed, "I cussed at him yet he wanted to go talk to you, that says something!"

"He doesn't care if you cuss at him or throw red roses of sweet words at him Julia, he's going to go back to square one tomorrow. Just wait... and watch." YN gave her little speech and finished up drying her hair. "And weren't you two just just hating him to his guts?"

"Meh, this changed our minds." Kayla shrugged simply.

"I'll admit he's got a pretty face and he's hot." Julia commented, "this seriously looks like he's got a crush on you. I mean he wants you to be baby mama!"

"Not baby mama, I won't be seeing this child after I give birth to it." YN sighed as she turned around to look at her friends, "he's spotted with a new girl every other weekend. What do you expect from a rich white man?"

Harry's got this public image if this play boy from past four years, that all YN did digging on him, well, he'll at least be a good father. Or it is all rumours and nothing is true. She was just curious and nervous when she fell down into rabbit hole of information about him. Apparently he started his business at the age of eighteen and here he is twelve years later with a multi million dollar textile company and fashion house. He even owns a butt ton of bars around the city.

"Why are you helping him then, if he's so bad?" Kayla squinted at her best friend.

"He lent me thirty thousand pounds, Kay. That's like three hundred thousand Indian Rupees for me to return him." YN explained.

"So you're paying your debt with this baby?"

"No, of course not!" She exclaimed, "no, I need time to pay him back. I have a family to look after now. My dad can't go back to for well over two years now. He's inevitably going to loose his job. I have to look after them."

"I get it about your brother and your dad but why that lady? She's not even your mother. She's been nothing but bitch to you!" Julia reminded her.

"She's still wife to my dad. And my culture teaches me to be respectful to my elders."

"Fuck them elders." Kayla scoffed, "you know she's rhe one who pushed you into this. Tell me, does your dad know about this? I mean she knows, and she was blaming you for loosing the first baby."

"No he does not, and he can not Kay, not until I decided to tell him!" YN warned both her friends.

"Look I don't know what is going on between you and this Harry dude, I just want you end up getting hurt." Kayla hugged her.

"I promise, I won't." YN assured her as she hugged her back. She ushered Julia into a group hug.

"If he hurt you, you guys are helping me hide a body." Julia announced. YN sighed in defeat, grabbed her bag.

"I'm going to go now. Julia please don't burn down the house."

"Come on, that was once and it wasn't even bad!" Julia groaned.

"Sure, the fire alarm went off and they had to escort every single out of their flats." Kayla laughed.

Julia was apparently making some french fries in the new air fryer they all chipped in to get. But it somehow caught on fire, luckily Josh knew how to use the fire extinguisher. It really wasn't bad but the fire alarm went off and it alerted the fire department and the police department because none of them knew how to turn it off. That was the little back story.

"Girl, put on some make-up." Julia reminded her.

"I don't want to. I feel icky today, I'd rather not have anything on my skin." YN explained as she grabbed her chapstick and put away her stuff quickly.

"Okay, be careful." Kayla said, "amd text me of you want a ride back."

"I will thank you." YN gave both her girl friends kisses on the cheek before she left.

"Harry and YN sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Julia sang taunting YN for what she knew exactly. Even Kayla joined her.

YN's got a crush on Harry. It's very obvious because everything he does to push her away hurts her way too easily. Well, it should wear off when the baby is out of her and he's out of her life. She's got her family to look after!

She wasn't going to wait for Harry's text because she doesn't want her day ruined no more. She knows he will ruin her day some way ot the other.

......................................................................

Harry on the other hand, he went straight to his mum's place. His sister was there too.

So far they all knew about him trying to have a baby via surrogacy. Which they supported because he's been wanting it so bad. He is completely capable of taking care of another human.

"Maa!" He announced and ran straight to the kitchen, "it worked! It worked this time!" He yelled in excitement as she showed the ultrasound pictures to his mum.

"Oh my!" Anne, his mum was surprised, "I-- oh I'm so happy for you!" She pulled her baby in a tight hug, he buried his fave in her neck. "You're going to be an amazing father, darling."

"Thank you so much mum," he nuzzled his face in his mum's neck, "I can't believe it. They're so tiny, just look at it!" He was being so excited and he didn't realise he was crying. "Gemma--"

"I heard." Gemma interrupted him, a huge smile on her face, "I heard I'm going to be Aunty now. Come here!" Even she hugged her baby brother, she was crying too. "Can I see the pictures?"

"Yes, yes," he sniffled pulled away he showed his mum and sister the ultrasound pictures and where the baby is.

"They're the cutest little blob I've seen." Gemma chuckled to hide her crying making Harry laugh in attempt.

"How are you feeling?" Anne asked.

"I just feel ready." He pursed his lips tightly not wanting to sob like a baby when he's going to have a baby himself now, "feel like, I can take over the world with them. I just love them so much already Mummy, so much!"

"I know you do." Anne was so happy for her son he was finally starting to be himself again.

Harry sat there for a while, had a cup of tea with his mum and sister and talked about his baby. He needed some advices from his mother as well.

She said, he could never be too ready to ve a parent.

According to her, she's still learning new things whilst her own kids are well in their early thirties and late twenties.

Harry rushed back home to get ready, change into something casual. He put on a pair of jeans a button down blue Bode shirt with a black jacket to keep him warm. He pulled on his trainers before he was out the door.

Half an hour early, he was about to text her and see if she ready to leave but he saw her walking out of the building. Walking in the direction of the Tube station. He pulled up right by her side.

"Hey, where are you headed to?" He asked catching her off guard there.

"You scared me!" She gasped, stood on the pavement as he got out of his car.

"I didn't mean to." He cooed, "you didn't answer my question..."

"Oh, I, I was going to go get bouquet of flowers for Jeremy's wife." She shared stuttering, "it's, it's rude to go to someone's empty handed."

"Why didn't you wait for me then? Come on I'll drive you there." He offered, "I am your personal chauffeur today!" And he opened the door to the back seat but she helped herself in the passenger seat.

He smirked and walked around the front to het into drivers seat. He made a stop at the flower shop down the street from her place. Picked out a bouquet and left for Jeremy's. Completely silence. Eerie silence.

"You were going to take the train, weren't you?" He asked breaking the silence. YN sighed looking at him.

"Look, Harry I have been on my own and I don't like being what to do and what not to. So I would appreciate if you stop doing that." She decided to cut to chase, "I can take care of myself. Yes, I am clumsy, but I know very well how to take care of myself."

"I know you can YN, you don't have to lie to me next time. Just tell me you don't want to see. I respect your privacy." He shared, "I'll get you a cab back to yours after dinner, yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Can, can I please take a picture of those ultrasound prints?" She requested, "It's, it's fine if you don't want to let me take a picture of it."

"It's fine with me." He answered, "I don't have it with me now, I'll you send you pictures when I get home."

"Okay."

......................................................................

"Priya!" YN gasped seeing Jeremy's wife. "I am so happy I met you, I feel so left out here! Thank you for having me over!"

Harry was confused as he took off his jacket as to what YN and Priya and were saying to each other, except little Thank you YN said. He also took off his outdoor shoes because he saw YN take off hers. He just wants to be respectful.

"You know what are they saying?" Harry whispered to Jeremy.

"Trust me, I've been married to Priya for thirty years, you'd know when they're plotting a murder." Jeremy joked as he followed the ladies inside.

The dinner table was basically split into four teams. It was Priya and YN on one side, then it was Harry and Jeremy on the side, then it was Jeremy, YN and Priya and there he was, the loner boy in one team. And Harry was being force fed by Priya.

But he enjoyed seeing YN so happy there. That's what friends want for one another, right? It those three are family and Harry is the new neighbour who's invited over for dinner on a random day off.

Priya knew about the whole surrogacy thing apparently, which he's fine with. She's like a family, just the same as Jeremy. Though he's not planning to tell anyone else about it.

"Now let me bring out the sweets!" Priya announced as she walked into kitchen. Harry was dying of food coma still trying to eat up all the rice on his plate.

"YN made some amazing Gulabjamun, she brought in today." Jeremy announced.

"Oh did you!" Priya seemed surprised, "I just made some strawberry and raspberry cobbler. I'm not that great of a cook."

"Oh my, are you kidding me Priya. The food was amazing!" YN exclaimed, "don't ever say that."

"Well then you'll have to teach me what is the magic trick behind making Gulabjamun." Priya set a casserole on the table so everyone can help themselves. "Harry?"

"Oh no, I'm good." He sighed taking a forceful sip of his water, "I think I'm gonna pass on dessert tonight."

"Awh! That's okay I'll pack you some." Priya chuckled. "Did you enjoy the food?"

"Of course I did." He smiled, "it was amazing, thank you having me over tonight."

"Oh please, you're welcome anytime." Priya went on, "anyway you kids these days don't eat well."

YN on the other hand was fascinated by something else. A cat jumped up on her lap as she ate her cobbler. The cat seemed especially smitten by her and she was smitten by the cat.

"Hello," she whispered, "you're so handsome!" The cat started purring loudly recieving scratches behind his ears, his blue eyes shutting closed. She placed a kiss on his head.

"Coco what are you doing here?" Jeremy caught everyone's attention, "he's very shy around new people usually."

"He's very cute!" YN cooed.

Harry noticed she was letting the cat bite on her fingers. Does she have a cat? Well, he's seen a litter box at her flat. Maybe she does.

......................................................................

The entire night Coco didn't leave YN alone. Kayla's cat, Noodle is really going to think she's cheating on her after tonight.

Harry walked to YN his car mean while trying to call a cab for her on his phone. She felt bad for earlier today. She shouldn't have done that, trying to basically run away.

"Hey Harry?"

"Yeah?" He turned around but his gaze was still fixed on his phone with a frustrated look. YN took in a deep breath before speaking again.

"Can you drive me back home?" He finally looked at her, "please?" Her heart was thumping in her ear all over again. That made her mind to wander when he was going to kiss her.

Or was she just imagining it? Maybe she was imagining it. But what the fuck was that!?

"Sure," he nodded and opened the door to the passenger seat for her.

"I'm sorry about earlier." She couldn't bring herself to even look at him.

"It's okay, YN, we're not little kids to hold grudges." He sighed as he buckled up before pulling out of the parking spot. "Anyways I've given you enough reasons to hate me. It's all fine."

"So... there is a we now?" She asked, suspicious of what he was trying to say.

"You and I are friends now, so yeah there a we." He shrugged, "unless you don't want there to be a we between you and I."

"Okay..." She dragged the word, "how about we go get ice cream? My treat."

"I am so full, I'll literally throw up!" He whined, "Priya was force feeding me!"

"You needed that."

"Ouch!" He gasped making her chuckle.

"I'm serious, come on let's go get ice cream. You don't have to eat any." She jumped on her seat trying to convince him.

"Alright, alright."

......................................................................

YN went for the biggest scoops of strawberry and mint chocolate chip flavours. Doesn't sound that appealing but she's been craving it, even though she has never had the mint chocolate chip flavour before.

That was weird for her. The craving part.

But as she looked for her purse in the mess which was her bag Harry had already paid the bill. He was ushering to an empty table whilst he got her ice cream for her.

"Here." He placed the paper cup in front of her and himself on the chair opposite to her.

"I was going to pay for it Harry." She reminded him.

"But I did." He was sat there with his elbow on the table and chin propped. "You like that?" He watched her take first bite.

"Yeah!" She looked surprised, "I didn't know I'd like this flavour, I've never tried it before!"

"You've tried mint chocolate chip icecream?" He fake gasped. "This used to be my favourite when I was ten. That's all I ate."

"Here you want to share?" She offered, "I'll get you a spoon--"

"Thank you YN, but I'm good." He stopped her grabbing onto her wrist gently.

"Okay." She shrugged.

"Hey, look," he pulled his chair closer to hers as if he was about to share a secret, "I can't say this enough, but I am so grateful that you're helping me out. Thank you so, so, so much for doing this."

"You don't have to keep thanking me Harry." She chuckled awkwardly because his constant thanking is making her feel like she owes him something or it's the other way around.

"I have to." He admitted, "this was the only option left for me."

"I'm, I'm sorry, but Harry why do you want a baby so bad?" She blurted out without thinking twice, "I, I mean you don't have to answer it."

"I tried to adopt first. But because of my image in media, I'm not even the last candidate they'd go for. I mean, I, I do have everything." He stuttered with his voice getting heavier as he spoke, "I can provide a child with everything under the sun. It's just that I got tired of hearing I can't be there for a child I were to adopt emotionally. Which is complete bullshit because they don't know me well enough. I, I, I just want someone to share this with. Share all the love I have and everything I have. I tried for, for two and half years, which I know isn't long enough some people wait longer than that. But, I, I think I don't have the patience for it."

"Oh Harry!" She pulled him in a hug, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Too surprised but he hugged her back, burying his face into her hair. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"I shouldn't be worrying you with my problems." He pulled away from the hug and watched her face grow with expressions of co concern, "I have a therapist for that."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that." She chuckled sheepishly, "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's alright." Harry cracked a smile, enough so his dimples popped. Taking his hand closer to her face, he tucked the stray strand of hair behind her ear, "I know I can be a dick, can't help it sometimes."

"Why? With great money comes great responsibilities to be a default dick to people?" She joked. Well, kinda. He laughed.

"No comments." He pulled himself back, reluctantly again as he leaned back on his chair. "Your ice cream is going to melt."

"Oh, yeah." She realised as he pointed out.

She doesn't know what's going on with her. They hugged for the first time just five minutes ago. Well, she's got a habit of developing fleeting crushes on people. The other day she had a crush on this guy who came to the cafe she works at. And not to mention, Doctor Jones!

God, she needs to grow up!

"I think we should leave." YN suggested.

"Why? I'm having fun here." Harry said, "my therapist said it's good to be vulnerable."

"Oh come on, now you're gonna taunt me everytime?" YN groaned in defeat rolling her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." He said with a firm tone, eyes squinted in her direction.

"I say things I don't mean to when I'm angry or frustrated, okay?" She shared reluctantly, "it's my weakness. Get my temper from my father, or at least that's what everyone who knows me and my dad says."

"I think I'm going to keep this weakness in mind." He joked but he doesn't want her to know, "might come handy someday."

"Well at least you know I don't mean any of it." She shrugged stuffing a spoon full of icecream in her mouth. Harry looked surprised, "I have a little brother Harry, I know how to pick up on jokes now come on!"

"Well, works on my sister everytime."

"Oh, Harry Styles, is so scary!" She mocked him making faux-scary noises.

"Stop it!" He whined.

"Okay, my social battery is running out. I need to go back and sulk in my room to recharge. Please can we go?" She requested, "I have my final thesis to work on!"

"You're in a PhD programme?" Harry followed her out.

"Yep!" She nodded.

"What? What's your major?"

"I have majored in many things, you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you everything anyway, I love to brag." She shrugged.

"As you should!" He quickly added because he likes to brag too sometimes.

"I know right!" She gasped and continued, "have a master degree in Business Administration with Finance major, then I got kinda bored so I went for Marketing for another master's whilst working, did it online from the same University as right now. Took a break for six months and got back to the academics. I'm completing my PhD in Management Science. I've been here for well over four years now."

"Seems like you want to be a professor, eh?"

"That's right!" YN nodded.

"What made you choose London for your PhD dissertation?"

"Why? Are you offering me a job?" She countered.

"Just curious." He shrugged.

"So was I." She admitted, "I hated being back home... for umm... for a few reasons, I don't like being told what to do and what not to. Wanted to get out of my dad's house. Do something for myself. I didn't know even with a strong resume I'd have to work two jobs!"

"Hmmm, kinda don't want you coming for my job with your strong resume." He unlocked his car, the treck down the car park seemed way too short for his liking.

"Oh, I think I'm going to keep this in my mind. Might come handy someday." She winked at him before she got into the passenger seat.

"Hey!" He whined making her giggle.

......................................................................

"You don't have any if the symptoms, right?" Harry asked as he parked right in front of her building. "Do you want me to get you something before I leave?"

"I'll be fine Harry. And no, I don't have any of the symptoms." She assured him.

"Well, please call me if you need anything. No matter what time it is, okay?"

"I will, I will." She grabbed her bag.

YN waved him bye before she made her way inside her building. The first thing she did was change into her PJs and get comfy in bed with a cup of tea and jer laptop to work on her final project. It was done and almost approved by her professor, she just needed to change a few things and add a few here and there. It took her barely two hours.

Her finals and then convocation and she's a Doctor of Philosophy!

Just as she was about to go to bed, her phone chimed with messages.

Harry had sent her pictures of the ultrasound on WhatsApp. With little messages.

- You asked for these.

- You also need to upgrade to iPhone! Had to download WhatsApp for you.

She chuckled at his message.

- How inconvenient of me.

- Too bad, can't sell my Kidneys for next 34 weeks to buy and iPhone

He was typing, it showed under his name.

- Please don't do that!

- Now have a good night, YN.

She liked his message and left it that. She even made the pictures he sent her, her lockscreen before she was off to sleep.

......................................................................

"YN, look at this!" Julia gasped.

They were out shopping for their convocation day. YN was looking for a dress looser at her tummy. She was already looking pregnant, especially when she's had a big meal.

Julia seemed to find some dresses for herself so YN followed her to the trial rooms. She gave her best friend a little fashion show. Which was short lived because Miss Blondie found her perfect dress!

"I love this!" Julia exclaimed.

It fit her perfectly. A green dress, hemmed with ruffles just above her knees, tie-up bodice with long sleeve and same ruffled cuffs. It brought out the green in her eyes and complimented her blonde hair.

"It looks perfect on you, Julia." YN smiled. "Are you sure you want to get this one and not look around for more?" Julia had changed out of the dress and was gathering her stuff.

"Yes, I am sure!"

"This dress it is then, blondie!"

"Yup!" She grinned, "let me go pay this and we'll look for your dress together now."

"Oh, can we go eat first?" YN suggested, "then I have to go work in three hours and I won't get to eat."

"Okay."

YN and Julia headed to the food courts to get something to eat. Both of them decided on different things, YN went to her fast food restaurant and stood in line to order. It was another weekend, it was fairly busy at the mall.

"Hey, I know you!" YN heard someone talking to her there. It was Dr. Jones.

"Yes you do, Dr. Jones." She smiled. It was awkward.

"Yup that's me." He said proudly, "so how are doing now YN?"

"I'm doing great, thank you Dr. Jones." YN took a step further in the line.

"Please, call me Michael or Mike." He said, "so what are you doing here."

"I'm here with my friend, shopping." She said, "what about you, Michael?"

Okay, this is getting awkward!

"Having a day out my niece and nephew." He shared.

God his voice is so deep! His accent!

"Nice." YN nodded. "It's my turn now." She saw the person ahead of her was done with their order so she went on with hers. And awkwardly walked to her best friend with her receipt.

"Oh my, my, who is that?" Julia gasped in awe, "he's so fucking hot!"

"He's the doctor who checked me the other day because Dr. Wilson was on a vacation." YN shared. "And I know, he's hot!"

"You agree!" Julia celebrated. "Are you going to ask him out?"

"Isn't it unethical for him?"

"Oh come on, he's not your doctor. He checked you once, not a big deal. Now tell me what did he say to you?" Julia squealed in excitement.

"He said he's here with his niece and nephew. That's all."

"Oh I hoped he's a dilf, but, eh, close enough!" Blondie leaned back on her chair in defeat.

"You're annoying." YN rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to ask him out?"

"What? No!" YN scoffed, "he seems to be a little bit older than me."

"So what? You're an adult, he's an adult I don't see anything wrong."

"I know you're trying to be my wingman, J, but I'm fine. I don't want to see anyone right now." YN looked over her shoulder to see if her food is ready. And it was, a perfect queue to change up the subject.

After their little food break, the girls headed to look for a dress for YN. She found a couple of options but nothing she liked enough to wear on a memorable day, even though it's going to be covered with her graduation gown.

"J, look at this—" she tried to take the dress on rack she liked but someone else was reaching for it too. "Oh I'm sorry!"

"No, no it's alright." The girl said, "you can take it, I just wanted to have a look."

"No, I'll go for something else." YN made an exception, "Looks like this is the last one."

"Trust me, you can take it. I don't mind." The hazel eyes girl smiled, familiar dimples denting in her cheeks.

"Alright." YN smiled back.

Julia followed YN to the trial rooms, "oh my, what a day of encountering hot people today!"

"You find just about everyone hot Julia." YN laughed, "lemme go try these ones okay? Help me pick one."

"Okay." Julia sat down on the little ottoman by the first dressing room. It didn't take YN long enough to put on the dress she almost gave away to that girl. She walked out to give a little to her best friend.

Julia whistled flirtingly, "you look so fucking sexy!"

"Stop, tell me if it hides my tummy?" She was anxious, just to hide her tummy from her dad as she is going to send him some pictures as he won't be there with her.

She fears her dad, okay! Even though he's like a human version of golden retriever but when he looses his temper he's just like her.

"That looks so good on you." The girl from earlier came around the dressing rooms with her own chosen pieces of clothes to try on.

"Oh, thank you." YN looked down smoothing the fabric on herself sheepishly. "You sure you don't want to try this one."

"I'm sure." The girl said, "I'm Gemma by the way."

"YN, nice to meet you." YN shook hands with her. "Thank you so much for letting me have this one."

"Yeah, this girl in the other store was so mean to us." Julia rolled her eyes making both the other girls giggle. "You're very kind."

"Why, thank you!" Gemma seemed flattered, "looks better on you YN."

"Thanks." YN smiled as Gemma headed into the other dressing room.

YN tried on the other dresses just to be sure but ended up sticking to the black cotton dress. Black is a very forgiving colour, it was loose fitted with puffy sleeves and a semi deep v-neck line. The fabric was light and breathable.

"I think I'm going to get this one." YN picked out the dress she had first put on.

Well, that was easy!

She paid for it and Julia dropped her off to her work, and left but not without a black coffee. The girl is addicted to caffeine.

Two hours into her shift, he can a visitor. Or visitors she should say. It was Harry, with the girl Gemma YN met at the store. Her heart dropped to her stomach.

"YN?" He was surprised to see her there, "I didn't know you worked here as well."

"Yeah, I told you I work two jobs." She shrugged, "what can I get for you?

"A plain black coffee for me, please." He said, "and a soy milk latte and a vegan blueberry muffin for my sister please."

Emphasis on sister was intentional.

"Sure." She felt embarrassed in the moment as she jot down his order in the system. "Your name will be called."

"Okay." He smirked before he walked back to his sister.

Wait... Does he knows?

......................................................................

N O T E:

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[dzpenumbra]

2/5/23

I haven't really been looking forward to this, to be honest. When I sit in silence and let my mind wander, it just goes right back to my loss. How could it not? I lost my former service dog to aggressive and out-of-nowhere cancer in June, and my cat over a nerve-wracking stretch of a week that led to organ failures. And I moved in between. It's hard to not be utterly disoriented.

This year has really just been nothing but grief. Mourning. And the transformations, the major redirection of life through massive loss. Like removing a giant boulder from the middle of a stream, it affects everything.

I don't know if I'm ready to talk about my loss. Part of me is being self-protective of judgement, which is flat-out fucking stupid. But most of it is genuinely not feeling okay engaging with those feelings at the moment, a.k.a. needing a break from that tingling vacuum feeling in the core of my heart chakra. So... maybe I can take this time to address why I feel like it's not okay to address those feelings. And the judgement. The tangential aspects of how this major loss is affecting me, rather than discuss the loss itself.

For context, I got Max when she was about 2 months old. She was born in the city where I live now, less than a mile away, which was a big part of why I decided to move here. I got her in the summer of 2006 (I think, I'm fairly certain), after I got back from the shitshow that was "living" in Littleton, Colorado. I might be getting my timeline wrong, it might have been 2007, either way. A long fuckin time. We got through a lot together.

I have been tempted to post on support group forums on reddit to... kinda just find people to talk to at a time like this. I told my mom yesterday, after a pretty big misunderstanding, that I really just wanted/needed to be around people. To not be alone, right now. But that's way too much to put on one person who's already very overwhelmed. Needing to be with people is a very strong feeling, and very alien to not be sharing my living space with a living being. I am, to the core, an animal person. Perhaps more than most people that even apply that label to themselves. I have been most of my life. Though at times I may have been naïve, childish and misguided as an adolescent - Kristoff Krane and I share a similar mournful tale on that front - I have tried to view all animals as peers. Peers who simply communicate in less complicated ways, and think/function/live in less complicated ways. We are just a more complex version of the same thing they are. I don't know if that makes sense to someone who didn't divine this concept from its inception, but... yeah. I learned pretty young, in my huge amounts of time alone with animals, to communicate with them in their language. Through their vocalizations, their body language, eye contact, etc. Sure, I'm not an expert behaviorist who has the accumulated training and knowledge of generations... but --- a group of young people is making a bunch of noise in the hallway... it's 1 AM... But, it's a Sunday, so I can chill on that grumpy old man shit. XD --- I don't have a doctorate in animal psychology or behavior, but I've always been pretty good at finding common ground. Maybe it's something I'd like to study, maybe dog training and that kind of thing could be a well-paying thing I do. I definitely have the experience. I was even going to do it... way back in like... 2012? Something like that? And live in a family friend's barn while they trained me in North Carolina... but it just... didn't pan out, I guess?

Why am I talking about this? The kids distracted me... Um... attachment. Yes. Bonding. There it is. Okay, so since I actually... have full-on conversations with animals... and I've spent the majority of my life, the majority of my social interactions with... animals. Not humans... I have built up very close bonds with creatures that people in my own family view as... lesser life forms. Like livestock... Like... living furniture or something. And I deeply struggle with that objectification. I understand that it serves a purpose, but... I do not like it. It inhibits my ability and opportunities to express love, to bond. Merely at the benefit of my own personal emotional protection. And the pain I feel right now, it is because I bonded with her - with both of my girls - at a very deep level. We were family. Through and through. With all the ups and downs, cherished memories and shameful regrets, that come with family.

And yet, I fear speaking in a public forum, asking for support in dealing with this... because I fear someone is going to go... It hurts me to even give this sentiment a voice... "It's just a cat, dude." I've heard it a thousand times. I don't even want to see it written hypothetically here. It makes my stomach turn. And the feeling that would come from reading that? The emotion and sensation that I'm feeling a mild grade of right now? I don't want that. I'm avoiding that. It's like... disgust and anger and peer-pressured shame all blended up into a shitty smoothie. It's like... the opposite of what I'm looking for. So... I've held off. I know it's stupid, really, but... I have. It's been that important for me to avoid that feeling... and knowing what I know about PTSD, it's likely the shame aspect I'm avoiding the most.

I scrolled up to check what else I was going to talk about, to explore. It was the judgement thing... but there was a second thing. I guess it was the avoidance of exploring my loss, her death, here tonight. A big part for me is... kinda trying to control my dream-mindset. My dreams the night before her death were insanely powerful. My dog, Cerry, visited me, she was so surreally vivid. I don't remember the narrative and I really do wish I had written it down, but... it's okay. It's not really a habit anymore. But I know very well how intense reliving that moment that happened just yesterday would be for me. And I do have pretty severe PTSD already. And I'm a very sensitive, emotional person. And I live alone. And I don't have any friends, or anyone to call. So... yeah. With that, I try to be... gentle, and try to not avoid or repress, but gently and kindly redirect to different thoughts, allowing myself to engage with my grief at a different time. I just really need to make sure I have that different time.

The sleep thing I'm being very protective about - I say at 1AM, I really need to go to bed like... ASAP - because I have that doctor's appointment intake on Monday. 8AM. Last night, I fell asleep watching Twitch, then didn't get to bed-bed until... about 4:30. Now it's 1. Sleep has been a bit rough. So... I just... I'm gonna do the best I can, but getting my ass in bed before midnight is just... super rare. So I'm really trying to preserve quality of sleep the best I can, to improve my chances of making that appointment.

A lot of these sacrifices, and strategies, etc. are adaptations to extended periods of isolation. Like... if I had a girlfriend... and I woke up from a night terror bawling my eyes out, like I do sometimes, especially when grieving... I would feel much more okay with that. She would comfort me, and hold me, and we would find the good and the love in the haunting memory. And take a painful moment and transmute it into love, into bonding. And of course I would do the same for her. But. When you wake up from a night terror alone? When there's no one there? That's another monster. Especially when you don't even have anyone to call. It's just you waking up and crying, scared, mortified, wanting to scream in anguish. And just... being in that moment. Like... a survivor in a post-apocalypse movie. God... like... I Am Legend, right? I only saw it once, wasn't that part of it? I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, so just skip to the next paragraph it you don't want spoilers but like... didn't his dog die? And there was like a whole grieving process, and he's like... completely alone now? THAT is the kind of thing I've been dealing with for like 5 years now. Sam, right? I remember the emotions around having watched that, despite being much more detached from my emotions back then. I looked up the Wikipedia entry for it and yeah, it's pretty spot on... in an exaggerated way, but like... same effect. I just have to take a more... "endure until the emotional storm passes, process, figure out what to do now" approach than... flying off the handle and seeking vengeance. Especially when you can't just go hunt down angiosarcomas and get revenge, you know?

This whole... avoiding dealing with traumatic thoughts until the time and place is right... that thing? It can turn into OCD real fuckin quick. But yeah, I have some pretty clear-cut examples of avoidance rituals in my family. I'm not perfect, but I've made insane progress considering where I came from. The things I'm struggling with the most are... the bathroom bath mat. Where she was hiding and spent most of the day on her last day. And when I'm doing yoga, I keep expecting to feel her nose up against me. There's that sinking vortex in the chest feeling again. Grief. Loss. Mourning. I don't cherish the bathmat memory, that one is very hard and I have to encounter it every time I pee. That's my ghost in the dark haunted bathroom. The yoga one is more cute, like a Casper ghost. But still hard.

That's as much as I want to talk about that right now. It's just too fresh, honestly. I want to fondly share her memory, I love her so so much. But it's still very recent, and the scary and disturbing images from her last moments come back a lot too right now, so... I really don't want to go there right now.

I'm going to go to bed. But real quick...

I always loved horror movies, especially psychological horror and supernatural horror. Like... Donnie Darko, and Coherence, and Triangle, Paranormal Activity, stuff like that. And post apocalyptic stuff too. I think in a lot of ways I found it... relatable. Even if I didn't know it at the time. Those movies/stories are always - and I've been saying this for like... over 15 years now - about the human condition. Night of the Living Dead was never about zombies, it's about the survivors. Paranormal Activity isn't about the ghost/demon, it's about Katie and Micah. Coherence isn't about time fuckery, it's about the choices the characters made in that world, in that situation. These are tales about how people choose to act in difficult situations. Perhaps advisory, perhaps cautionary. Maybe just... observational. It's really up to you what to do with them, what they mean to you. And these horror movie allegories have helped me a lot as metaphors to make sense of a lot of my mental health. When you've lost everything? You're a post-apocalyptic survivor. Check out those movies and look for a good role model, and beware the bad ones, which can display common pitfalls we can sink into in those situations. When you're grieving? Watch a haunted house movie. Sometimes you're the ghost, sometimes you're the one living in the house. The vibe is just... usually very familiar. Like... Mike Flanagan's ghost movies are super vivid and accurate representations of grief and loss, often like... blatantly obvious. And I have found them helpful.

Maybe it would be good for me to try to write a short horror piece of some kind. A short story? A graphic novel kinda thing? Maybe it could be a good way to process my grief. I'll put a pin in it. 1:30 means late for bed.

[savemesomenachos]

Hii I'm not sure if you're taking any requests right now but I would love to request Sebastian Stan meeting the reader's cat for the first time (I know he's allergic to cats in real life but let's pretend he's not here 😊). And the cat seems to get attached to him and cuddles with him whenever he's around.

Thank you 😊

So I have a cat and I would love if Sebastian Stan got cosy with her🤌🏽✨To honour my little fluffball, imma name the cat Molly.

Cat Heaven

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x GN! Reader

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 793 (sorry it’s so smol)

*here’s a picture of my catto for visual aid and frankly because this picture is so cute🤷🏽‍♀️*

Y/n’s POV:

“How did I not know you have a cat this whole time?” Sebastian says, already slipping his shoes off as Molly saunters over to us with her tail swishing high in the air.

“Well, you’ve never come over and I didn’t think you like cats to be honest,” I say, tossing my keys into that ugly bowl near the entryway that I got for Christmas.

“Yeah, me either. Until of course, I saw her,” he says, plopping down on the with Molly sniffing his sock clad feet. Her tail doesn’t stop swishing nervously the whole time but once I give her a soft scratch on the head, she nuzzles into Sebastian’s knees.

“Aww look, she likes you,” I say, cooing at the sight of both my babies, cuddling on the floor of my entryway.

“Of course, she does. She has good taste,” he says, his fingers inching towards Molly at a slow pace to not startle her. She looks at his hand with apprehension at first and with a final swish of her tail, she walks away.

A pout takes over Sebastian’s lips which makes me giggle so hard, I bend over to clutch my stomach.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it off. She’s going to love me eventually,” he says, climbing to his feet, poking a finger in my ribs as he passes by.

“Yeah, she will,” I say, pushing his fingers away with a lingering smile on my lips.

~✩☾✩☾✩~

“Seriously? The Princess and the Frog? Again?” Sebastian asks, settling next to me on the sofa, pulling my feet across his lap and draping a throw over both of our bodies.

“It gets better every time Bash, I promise,” I whine, grabbing a handful of popcorn and stuffing it in my mouth.

“Will you slow down on the popcorn? The movie hasn’t even started yet,” he chides playfully, his lips pulling up into a smirk.

“But I want to sing the songs and I can’t do that if I’m eating popcorn,” I say, grabbing another handful anyway.

“I don’t even know why I fight it anymore,” he says, turning to face the TV again with a sigh and a smile on his lips.

I tilt my head up and press a grateful kiss on the corner of his lips and whisper a soft ‘thank you’ in his ear. He chuckles lightly and wraps an arm around my waist while cuddling me closer into his chest. The movie begins to play, and I notice Molly in the corner of my eye, making her way towards us. She hops up on the arm of the sofa near Sebastian’s hand and I try to stifle a giggle as his hand twitches with the need to pet her.

“Don’t move. Let her do her thing. If you make sudden movement, she’ll leave,” I whisper in his ear as she leans forward to nose at his popcorn coated hand. After she’s had a sniff of his hand, she leans further into his body and starts to sniff at his sweater.

“Oh my god Y/n, it’s happening!” he squeals in my ear with all the excitement of a child. I muffle a laugh behind my palm but compose myself when he glares.

‘I’m sorry! Your excitement is so cute, I couldn’t help myself,” I say, wrapping an around his waist.

Before he could respond, Molly hops onto his lap where she settles with a yawn. She nuzzles her head into his sweater and with a final stretch, she drifts off.

“Oh my fucking god, this is actually happening. Pinch me,” he whispers aggressively in my ear which makes Molly shift an inch.

“I’m glad both my babies like each other. I was nervous at first, but I guess y’all are going to get along just fine,” I whisper back, planting a kiss on his stubble laced cheek.

“I did tell you she has good taste,” he says cheekily, pressing a kiss to my hair.

“She gets it from me. Obviously,” I say with a roll of my eyes which he reciprocates with a chuckle.

“Hey,” he says suddenly, after a while of quietly watching the movie. With a free hand, he tilts my head up to his. “I love you.”

My lips pull into a smile and a blush engulfs my cheeks in red while I nuzzle into his shoulder.

“I love you too. Both of you,” I say, carding a hand through Molly’s soft fur.

“I don’t think Molly and I are there yet Y/n. Seems awfully fast to say ‘I love you’ after only one day spent together. I mean this is our first cuddle fest and so many things could go wr-”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

“Ummm rude… Still love you though.”

“Yeah, me too.”

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[katsukikitten]

Time spent with Todoroki.

Warnings: This is a Pro Hero aged up AU, think late twenties. Adult themes such as sex are to follow. Please enjoy

Shoto was by far your favorite sugar daddy. He showered you in lavish gifts and gave you the pipe often. He checked your bank account and made sure it never fell below a certain amount and paraded you around town like the Princess you were. But most importantly he was stoic. Doing nothing more than wiping you up with a warm rag once the two of you were finished, never clinging to you with desperate hands like many other sugar daddies had. Hoping their money would make you giddy and buy your love. Maybe it would have, had you not already run out of love for people. Your heart broken one too many times by a long term relationship causing you to vow that money was your only love. 

People were just too disappointing. 

Your contracts with Shoto were medium in length, anywhere between three to five months mostly because he likes to keep his "options open." Which filled you with pure lust for him, knowing you could get away with your kinks without worrying over some man falling for you. 

Still, it was difficult for the Pro hero not to fall for you, at first he had no interest in love. Having sworn it off mostly for fear of failure thanks to his dysfunctional family. It was the main reason he started looking into sugar baby websites, he saw your profile picture and your bolded No strings attached. He liked the idea of that, loved it really and yet, he became tangled in you after the renewal of your second contract. He tried to suppress the warm feeling in his chest, he found it difficult more times than not. 

Especially now, with you on your knees with his guicci jacket spread out on the tile of the bathroom floor as your lipstick clad lips wrap around his cock. Your cheeks hollowed and your eyes looking up at him with enchanting lust. He fists your hair shoving you further on his cock. Your eyes water as you gag softly and Todoroki is just thankful your makeup is waterproof. 

The sight and the sounds make him groan while your manicured nails dig into his bare thigh. You rub your thighs for friction, moaning around his cock, it's enough to send Shoto over the edge. Hot ropes of cum hit the back of your throat as his grip on your styled hair tightens. 

"Fuck Princess…." He moans bucking into your mouth, sharp eyes look down at you. Seeing a powerful man come undone for you is enough to keep you content for now. 

"Sir will take care of you after the gala okay?" His cheeks are still a little red as he runs his hand over your hair. Lifting you off the floor before fixing himself. He gives you a light spin, making sure nothing scuffed your gorgeous designer dress before he exits the stall. Pushing back his long hair while you retouch your lipstick with a knowing smirk. 

The two of you waltz back to the party, sans his jacket, abandoning the designer garment without a second thought. The price of it was barely a drop in his bucket. It could have been half of his bucket for all he cared, his mind always swimming with thoughts of you.  He places his hand on the small of your back as he guides you back to the table, dinner half forgotten once your hand wandered towards his crotch for a tease. 

"F...find the bar okay?' Izuku asks as you take your seat, your sly hand going for your wine. Uraraka blushes when you give her a wink. 

"Just fine." Shoto says sipping his whisky. 

"So who's won awards so far?" You ask with gleaming eyes, Izuku smiles. 

"Kaachan for most villains caught. Kirishima for the safest feeling hero, myself for rescue ratio." He holds up his small little trophy, "And you, Shouto, for most mysterious." 

"What about the rankings? Did we miss that?" 

"No they are about to announce it!" Uraraka exclaims, eyes glittering with excitement and wine. Her chestnut eyes slide over to her emerald eye date, hoping for the best for him. 

The announcer steps to the stage, his sapphire blue suit catching everyone's eye as he takes the center. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a night filled with congratulations and cheer but now is the moment you've been waiting for, tonight we will reveal the top three heroes. Voted in by a strenuous board appointed by the fans, we finally present the BIG THREE!" 

Some tables erupt in cheers while the host takes his dramatic pause, when the sound dies down the host brandishes the golden envelope. 

As he announces your hand wanders again, playing with your favorite toy, Shouto's face gives way nothing as the host drags out the awards. Explaining how long the winner's speeches should be. Soon Shouto cannot ignore your hands creeping on his clothed cock that throbs beneath your fingers. He knows he can't wait through what's bound to be a half an hour. He rises excusing himself dragging you with him before you're being cornered against a wall in some random closet. 

"So impatient, princess." He bites out, kissing your throat, sliding down to your exposed collar bone while his hand ventures between your thighs. Calloused pads circling your puffy clit as you let out a loud moan that's swallowed by the cheering of the gala room. Impatient himself he undoes his pants, stroking himself with his free hand while you cum on his fingers. 

After the coil in your stomach snaps for a third time he's satisfied, kissing you as he aligns the tip of his dick to your quivering entrance.

"Fuck, Shouto. Fuck me please, sir!" You beg, making his head spin, alcohol mingling in the small dark space. 

"Be patient kitten. Sir will fuck you right baby." He grunts, sheathing himself into your soaking core.  You cry out, clawing at his back through his shirt. The smell of biting cold hair mingling with the hearty smoke of a bonfire engulfs you as you press your face into his chest. He lifts both of your legs, strong hands grabbing onto thick thighs as he fucks into you with a deadly pace. Slapping skin and lewd wet sounds echo back to the two of you, encouraging his pistoning hips. 

"Listen to those sounds Princess, your pussy sounds so pretty." He bites at your ear as you endlessly moan and whimper into his chest. Cunt clenching as he drives over your spongy spot, the head of his cock going deeper with each thrust. Soon it all becomes too much, your vision spots panting as you cry out in ecstasy, body ridged and arching to meet him. 

"Cumming on my cock already?" He coos, fucking you through your next orgasim as your legs shake around him. Toes pointed in your red bottoms as you attempt to hold onto him for dear life. 

"S..sir! You cry out, "I'm gonna...nnngghhh." 

He ruts into you, pressing you further into the wall as he frees up one hand to play with your throbbing clit. Rubbing harsh circles as he loses focus on his precise thrusts that turn sloppy. His eyes too focused on you as you cum, milking his cock. Your eyes flutter, desperately attempting to hold eye contact as one hand palms your breast and the other scratches at the skin at the nape of his neck. Your tongue lulls out just a bit as your mouth makes a sinful O shape, a few tears of over stimulation fall down your cheeks as he continues to fuck into your wet cunt. The sight makes him explode into you, warm spurts of cum causing you to whimper and clench in delight as he ruts until he is done.  He sets his sweaty forehead against yours, panting as words claw up his throat. 

"I love..." He whispers, catching himself just in time, "Your tight cunt." 

He kisses you, hoping you don't think anything more of it. 

After a few minutes, and Shouto's cock softens, he withdraws. Wiping you up with a wipe from your purse as the two of you check the other for fluids. A drunken cat smile plastered on your lips as you reapply your lipstick, wiping away the stains on his dark grey shirt and collar. 

The two of you step into the hall just in time as the doors start to open. Quickly and calmly you grab for your pack of cigarettes, your normal alabi, placing the stick in your mouth. Shouto, much like a gentleman, lights it as you inhale to keep the tip a burning ember. Gently blowing the smoke over his clothes, careful to avoid his face as you waft the burning stick around yourself as if it were an incense. Knowing good and well the smell of smoke always hides the salty smell of sex. Quickly you extinguish it on an ice cube that Todoroki provides, you toss the cube in the closet and the half of a smoke into your burkin slamming it shut just as a small group of sidekicks approach. 

"Shouto! Wow! I can't believe it was a three way tie this year! Congrats to you, Deku and Dynamight!" They drunkenly cheer, "It's crazy how that happened." 

"You're so secretive, your manager accepted the award on your behalf even though you were here tonight!"

A stream of people dot on your date as you cling to his muscular arm while you harbor a secret of your own. Cum dribbles between your thighs as you think of his sweaty head against yours. It feels good to be a Pro hero sugar baby. 

"You staying the night again?" Shouto asks as he presses a cold water bottle to your palm, your body covered in a sheen of post sex sweat from a week's worth of fun. You give him a small smile as you sit up, tits bouncing as you readjust entirely. You can feel his icy hot gaze as it rakes over your body, feeling the goose flesh prick along your skin as it does with the threat of an oncoming summer storm. 

"I wanna discuss the renewal of our contract. Plus we have a final date per the expiring one." He says as he rises, heading towards the luxurious ensuite to start a shower for you both. 

"Hmmm guess I could. How much longer do we have left?" You never really paid attention to this things, always being satisfied with whatever Shouto gave you. 

"Two weeks." He returns back from the bathroom, grabbing his wallet from his bedside table. Pulling out his onyx black card, he places it in your hand. His eyes holding yours, you give a devilish grin. 

"Sir has a lot of paperwork for the agency to do today. Buy a dress I want to fuck you in and anything else you want to match okay baby girl?" He leans down to give your forehead a kiss while you giggle. Unable to hide the giddy that bubbles beneath your skin, you wrap your arms around him. 

"Thank you sir!" You exclaim, pepper his cheeks with kisses as you pull back, "Do I get to pick the date again?"

"Mmhmm." He encourages, running his hand up your bare bare as you squeal with delight.  You rush to the bathroom before he slowly follows behind. While under the hot stream the two of you make out for far too long, tongues fighting as the two of you exchange laughs before you add a playful statement that stays with the two toned hair man as he sits in his boring home office. 

"I'm going to get a dress so classy and sinful you'll fuck me on the spot!" 

His eyes wander to the photo on his desk, the one of your first date. The one you insisted the two of you take after a month of late booty calls since he paid for the "girlfriend" package. The two of you are bundled in warm coats, you cling to his firey side as you laugh and he just barely smirks. 

Looking back he thinks this is when he started to fall for you. You had never been ice skating before and insisted on going while the two of you were in NYC for important PR interviews for the cold and mysterious hero. Because that's what people did in the movies while in NYC, put on their skates at the Rockefeller rink to glide along the ice beneath the sparkling lights of the giant Christmas tree. It was busy, he opted for no skates, as he did better without but he helped you lace yours. Being ginger for the first time in his life as he helped you onto the ice, after demanding a moment of independence you had fallen straight onto your ass. Giving Shouto second hand embarrassment but instead of yelling, crying out or giving up, you laughed. Genuinely laughed as you reached for his steady hand, captivating the whole rink for a moment. It felt like magic had washed over the ice, as snow slowly danced into your hair and the colorful lights danced across your eyes. Just like that the spell was broken with a flash of light. A stranger approached to give you a small tip on how to skate and the polaroid he had taken. You thanked them with a smile placing the photo into your coat pocket leaning into Shoto to share a secret. 

"Now we have our first 'date' immortalized!"  You had giggled, gliding across the ice as if you were ethereal, hands outstretched for Shoto to join you. 

He wonders how you're doing at the shops. He occasionally gets a text or two from you. Sexy pictures of you in the changing room as you obviously buy lingerie as well. 

He fists his cock enough times he gets no work done and by the time he convinces himself enough is enough you come home. 

Wearing that damned devilish smirk. 

And so another week passes in the four walls of his bedroom. Your bank account as stuffed as your pussy as you bounce on his heating and cooling cock. 

"Fuck, baby fuck." Is all Todoroki can say as you chase your own high. His blunt nails clawing at your thighs as your tits bounce. Your mouth opens into that gorgeous O as you seek out that delicious friction on your clit. The coil in your stomach snaps as your humping becomes erratic and sloppy but still enough for your tight cunt to spasm wonderfully over Todoroki. So nice is the sight, sound and smell of you that Todoroki pumps his hips up into you twice before he paints your velvety walls, his eyes focused on you. 

"Fuck." He presses his sweaty head into the silk of his pillow case. Two toned hair clinging to his forehead. You lean over and kiss his cheek. 

"Thanks for the ride Pro hero." You wink before you dismount. Stretching towards the sky once your feet hit the warmed hardwoods, you begin to make your way towards the bathroom. Phone in hand. 

"I wanted to talk about extending your contract." Todoroki says, staring after you, "At dinner tonight." 

"It expired tonight right?" You say, looking over your shoulder while your phone lights up with an alert, "No need for dinner." 

"What do you mean?" He calls to you as you start the shower. 

"I mean, I think we should let the contract expire. Keep things fresh you know? Keep our options open?" 

He jumps to his feet and begs the urgency to die in his step. Calmly with somber steps making his way to the ensuite. He finds you already in the shower, water washes away the smell of sweat. The smell of him as your phone glares up at him. He taps the screen and your recent notifications wave at him as he stares down. 

Reading one of them in horror. 

Todoroki isn't sure why he feels this way as he looks at your phone on his vanity. As if the world fell from beneath his feet. His throat burns as he stares at the illuminated glass, spiraling as steam clouds his vision that begins to blur. He knew what he signed up for, he wanted this. 

This detached, heart hidden exchange in hopes of choking down the loneliness 

But he never expected that when this ended it would feel as if his heart had been ripped out, stepped on and crushed beneath the heel of one of your red bottomed shoes. 

"Come on aren't you joining me for our last shower iced cutie?" 

"Uh yes I'm coming." He steps into the shower as the push alert on your phone burns into his brain. 

"Kirishima Eijirou has put in an offer." 

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Severus Snape being an awesome teacher and human being

Au Volant - Elsa & Emilie

He makes sure to let students work on their own when they brew Amortentia. They only have to pass in a list of things they smell and he draws little smiley faces on them because he knows a lot of kids are very insecure about their feelings. (Once a kid passed in a list that just said, I’m sorry Professor but it doesn’t smell like anything, and on their paper Severus drew an ace and aro flag and a time for the student to be at Mcgonogall’s office that weekend for tea, along with a smiley face and an O grade.) (The student was Newt.) (Hailee’s just read, People are gross and if I fall in love with one I want you to kill me, to which Severus responded, Valid, and drew her a picture of a turtle.)

He makes fake batches of Felix Felicis and gives one to every student secretly before their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s so they feel extra confident going into the test but aren’t actually cheating.

He knows his area is Potions, but he teaches defense spells to students who come after class or report bullying anonymously. Severus Snape does not fucking stand for bullying in his classroom or outside of it. If you dare to pick on one of his students, he will burn you so hard with his mere words that you will wish you were dead. Do not fuck with Severus Snape’s kids.

On parent-teacher day, he drinks different batches of Polyjuice Potion to imitate certain students, all of whom hide away in their dorms after drinking a fine batch of invisibility potion. He then follows these select parents around and endures their horrifying, demeaning remarks about their “failure of a child” so his students don’t have to. He makes sure to give these students glowing praises to their parents when it’s his turn to offer feedback (after making up an excuse to go to the bathroom as the student), and takes mental notes of the parents’ most prominent criticisms so he can be sure to compliment those parts of his students during their next assignments (and also just because).

He brews sleeping potions for students he knows stay up all night studying and sometimes slips it into their drinks if they refuse to take it willingly. He then gives them back their (usually almost flawless) tests with the note that if they want a full O they need to sleep more.

He invites kids he knows don’t have many friends to have dinner and lunch and breakfast in his classroom whenever they’d like. He tries to make friends with some of them too, hoping to make their lives a little less lonely than his was.

He keeps an eye out for abusive home situations. He does his best to come up with excuses for those unfortunate students to stay at Hogwarts over breaks or to visit often over the summer. He tries to find them friends that will help them the way James helped Sirius and Regulus, and speaks to Mcgonogall about opening a home for these kids on campus. He does his best to be the parent he knows these kids don’t have, and is open about his own horrid past in hopes of getting some of them to fess up so he can help them better than he can without hearing it explicitly from their mouths.

He uses his Pensieve to collect happy memories of and for his students to reflect on when they need to and they sit in the corner of his classroom. (Among them are his wedding day to James and Lily, the day Harry was born, a couple playdates with the other Marauder children, Sirius and Remus’ wedding day, studying with Remus, pranking James with Sirius, Sirius and James asleep cuddled together with Remus on the couch in ugly Christmas sweaters, his son and many nieces and nephews playing dress-up, reading with Hermione and exploring with Luna and Newt, dancing with Draco (he likes to dance but was always ashamed to do it at the Malfoys), going on long drives with Regulus, the Blacks’ funeral (Regulus and Sirius performed a very gay stripper dance on top of their graves, it was beautiful), and many, many more.) Sometimes he can see his saddest students watching them and smiling, and their sad eyes twinkling make him smile.

He brings in a box of small kittens, puppies, and bunnies one day and lets them wander around the classroom. Some kids start crying because they haven’t felt this loved in years. After an incident with a bad potion and a rainbow puppy, he stops bringing them all out during class, but they’re there on the weekends and whenever a student needs to hug one (or borrow one, much to Mcgonogall’s chagrin).

He works to break down House biases and help students develop inter-House relationships and friendships. He wants every student to be proud of their House and not to treat anyone differently because of theirs. He creates (with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Regulus’ help) an annual House Pride, in which every student dresses up in their House colors and has their nails and skin painted and everyone is smiling and laughing and waving flags with their House emblems in the air. Even the teachers get in on it.

He stresses the importance of friendships, communication, and choices. He urges students not to make his mistakes by treating their friends well, talking about their feelings even if they’re ugly, and making the right choices in life for you and your loved ones, even if those choices are hard. He invites Lily in to talk about this too sometimes.

He sends out his Patronus every night to wander around the school. Often it comes back to him with nothing, but sometimes he can hear a student crying through it. He’ll instruct his doe to sit with the student until he gets there, and then he’ll walk around the castle, pretending to “accidentally” happen upon the crying student. He’ll sit with them until they’ve calmed down and listen if they want to talk and then take them to their dorm, bidding them goodnight and get well soon.

He gives students hugs when they want them. He didn’t want to originally, but Harry would greet him every class with a hug, and then one day Draco came in crying and attached himself to Severus like a sloth, so he patted him on the back and continued to hug him. Not long after, Hermione couldn’t figure out a potion and burst into tears out of frustration, turning and burying herself in his chest. After Luna wrapped her stick arms around his neck for no reason, Severus just accepted his fate and let his students hug him.

A lot of first years get scared in the hallways, since the staircases move and everywhere is incredibly crowded and they are oh so very small. Severus will often hold the hand of the most anxious ones for the first few weeks and walk them to class. Eventually they become more confident with the castle and themselves and stop needing it, but the occasional sixth year will slip their hand into his just because sometimes.

He walks around campus with students sometimes. He can tell when they’re nervous or sad or angry and he takes them on walks around the outskirts of campus and lets them vent. He also teaches them how to throw curses at the Whomping Willow just because (it’s for Remus but nobody’s gonna say it out loud).

He teaches students how to walk dramatically (as he should). He puts on student drag shows in the Great Hall with James’ help (who always kisses him way too enthusiastically because of it) and Dumbledore’s permission (so long as he gets to be the finale). The students work with Sirius on their drag looks and Sirius and Remus both join in the drag show for the opening act. Sirius’ job is to design and create the students’ looks while Remus tells them they look pretty and tames their stage fright. Severus just sits in the audience smirking while Lily screams in delight. (Regulus also shrieks with excitement eventually, though he does usually spend the first half trying to look disinterested.) (Peter’s job is to get the cookies and sweets (and underage alcohol).)

He turns into his snake Animagus form sometimes without warning when his students aren’t looking and just slithers around the classroom scaring the crap out of people. His favorite students are the ones brave enough to pet him. Harry and Newt are the only ones brave enough (and allowed) to wind him around their shoulders. Severus and Harry sometimes have conversations in Parseltongue.

He invents spells to help with dyslexia and other learning disabilities in his spare time. When he’s done with that he plans to try looking into some cures to mental illness. He’s thinking possibly a potion that treats PTSD by replacing traumatic memories with pictures of puppies, unicorns, bunnies, cats, and parrots. What do you think?

He tries hard to come up with solutions and modifications to his lessons for students with ADHD. He often talks to James about what the best steps to take are because James has ADHD. (So does Sirius, but his insecurities are bad enough that he won’t talk about it with anyone but Remus and James.)

He plays the violin sometimes during tests and uses Sonorus to make it echo throughout the classroom. Occasionally he cancels class and just plays until most of his students fall asleep. Those who want to work on extra work can, but he tries to keep their stress and general teenage angst to a minimum. (Though he encourages the emo phase.)

One of the first things he does after the Prank is get to work on a lycanthropy solution for Remus. After a couple years he invents the wolfsbane potion, but it doesn’t quite do the trick. Eventually he manages to figure out the cure, and when Remus finds out he cries so hard he can’t breathe right for days. (Sirius also cries. So does James. And Peter. And Lily and Regulus and Mcgonogall. Seriously, everyone cried and everyone hugged him and Severus tried to get away by transforming into his snake form but toddler Harry just grabbed him and refused to let go, so that didn’t work.) (He also helps Remus become a wolf Animagus when he asks almost a year later.)

He teaches certain kids Occlumency and Legilimency after school. It’s strictly for kids he knows come from abusive homes, whether they’re open about it or not, so they can tell when it’s going to be a bad night and get away or protect themselves. He teaches Occlumency for those who need to hide things from their parents (like Sirius and Regulus used to) and Legilimency to all, just in case. He focuses on stealth and untraceable versions of the craft to earn the kids as much time and protection as he can.

He figures out how to remove the Dark Mark from his own arm after the war. The next person he calls is Regulus, whose he also removes. He writes down the entire process and when the war starts up again, he keeps an eye out for students suddenly wearing long sleeves. He speaks with those he does find and helps them to make the right choice and join the right side of the war, starting with removing that horrid tattoo. (Draco bawls uncontrollably when Severus removes his.)

When they do the lesson on Veritaserum, he’s extra careful to make sure students don’t test it, especially on themselves or their friends. It, along with Amortentia, is the most guarded potion in his stash. The only times he uses it is when a student from an abusive home is too scared to tell him what’s going on, in which case he finds them somewhere private, asks them if they’d be okay with it and if so which teacher they want to be there to ask the questions (usually Remus, Sirius, or himself), and then administers the potion and leaves or begins to ask yes or no questions. It’s helped a lot of kids escape their families.

He tries to ease trepidations about himself early in the school year, since he’s aware he can be intimidating and the rampant stories regarding his time under Voldemort (though entirely as a spy) do not help. His friendships with Remus and Sirius often serve to alleviate students’ fears though, as they tend to tell embarrassing stories about him from their own Hogwarts days that make him seem more human (and make him want to strangle them, but that’s neither here nor there).

Every year, he works with Remus and Lily to arrange Muggleborn Pride. It’s an incredibly popular event with tons of Muggle inventions and artifacts floating through the air over students’ heads. At any time they can reach up and pull one down to study it. Many students dress as their favorite Muggle icons and characters. Because of this, Muggleborn students are more comfortable being who they are than ever before. (Some have even reclaimed the word Mudblood by setting up mud pits during their Pride.) (They also have more Slytherin Muggleborns now than any other time in recorded history.)

He tells Regulus’ story to every class of students, to teach them what true bravery is and how love and family, even if not blood, can change the course of history. Regulus survived his encounter with the Horcruxes and worked to destroy them and eventually Voldemort, but now lives away from the public eye in a secluded part of Muggle London. He and Severus are friends and visit often, and Regulus will occasionally come back to Hogwarts to say hello to his brother and mum (Remus), but for the most part he keeps his life intensely private. He allows his family to tell his story because he wants other kids to know they are not alone and that there is a way out, and that you are not a bad person for things you did in your childhood. Severus does his best to do it justice.

He has incredibly loud arguments with Dumbledore until he finally agrees to implement sex ed as a mandatory class at Hogwarts. Severus works with the other Marauders on the curriculum and they try to include multiple angles and identities in their lesson plan. At first they try to trust Remus with it, but Remus doesn’t go anywhere without Sirius who is less than tactful and Remus himself has some deadpan sarcasm and a lack of shame to rival James Potter’s, so. They try Lily. She can’t stop giggling. Finally they beg Regulus to come back and teach it. He’s surprisingly… perfect for the job. (He steals parenting books from Amir, that’s his secret.)

When James visits, everything becomes chaos for a bit. While he mostly hangs out with Sirius and Remus and causes trouble with them, he certainly seems to enjoy sitting in the back of Severus’ classroom and bothering him during lessons. The only way to get him to leave is to turn into a snake and wind himself around his shoulders, which makes James shriek and sputter and run away (James has always had an irrational fear of snakes; odd that he married one then, innit?). But when James isn’t causing chaos, he’s following Severus around adoringly and grabbing at his hand, whispering jokes in his ear and kissing his cheek. Despite all of the times he’s a pain in the ass, there are always these little moments that remind Severus why he fell in love with him in the first place (entirely unwillingly and with much stubborn pride on both ends, but, well. It is what it is and they got here eventually, so that’s all that matters).

When Lily visits, everything is calm. She reigns all of the Marauders in and forces them to have picnics under the tree where they all used to do homework. She often holds Severus’ hand and dances with him there, turning his insides to useless goo. She’s always full of laughter and fairy bells, and though she makes every student question their priorities and life decisions, she’s a favorite of them all. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t pull him aside and say, “You’re a lucky, lucky man.” (Or, in James’ case: “Fuck, love, how’d we bloody manage that?” (Severus just shrugs. It’s not like he knows.))

He helps kids with autism feel more like they belong. He also works to educate non-autistic students how to better socialize and respect those who are, and takes extra care to dispel myths about autism and its causes, effects, and characteristics. Lily helps when she can.

Above all, Severus tries to give his students the education he never had. Anything he can provide for them he will. He’s been given a second chance and by Merlin is he going to bloody use it.

[gretavanbitch]

Tangled up in blue- 2

warnings- drugs lol 

One month and six weeks prior- 

Keeping herself busy when Josh was gone was no easy task for Penny. She tried her hardest to focus on work, sitting in front of rows of developed film, feeling burned out. There was no good reason for this feeling, simply that she was lonely. Sighing, she thought of the only thing to relax her and calm her mind without Josh, weed. 

Her bare feet padded across the hardwood floors of their loft softly, overalls rustling slightly as she made her way to their bedroom. She walked to the brown cabinet next to her side of the bed and pulled out a small encrusted gold box. This box was opened probably too often when she was home without Josh, but also when he was there. She pulled out a filter, and papers. Then taking a bunch off the gram, she grinded it slowly, closing her eyes and wishing she was somewhere else. As her hands moved absentmindedly, she imagined what the boys were doing right now. They were probably on some tour bus or green room getting drunk, which sounds a lot more fun than getting high alone. She imagined Josh, sitting in some plush chair with some extravagant jumpsuit on, smiling and laughing with his friends, without her. She decided to shoot him a text, just some reassurance that he was still there. 

Penny: Hey babe, Jake try to murder you yet? 

Sent: 8:23pm 

She sat, licking the joint closed and waiting eagerly for a reply from Josh. After five minutes, she decided that she would put on a record and smoke, just to pass the time. Joni Mitchell’s Blue started to reverberate off the walls of the apartment, causing her to smile softly to herself. She remembered back to the first road trip she took with Josh, playing this album over and over again until they reached the other side of the country. His hair would run wild with the windows down, and a smile never left his face that week. Snapping back to reality, she brought the joint to her lips and lit her lighter, inhaling deeply and falling back into the couch. After the record had run through both sides, she felt like she needed to do something with her day other than smoke and miss Josh. 

Once again, the rows of film stood daunting before her. It was as if they were the royal guard for an impenetrable force in which her motivation was protected. With a hazy mind, she started flipping through the photographs of the recent week, smiling wider with each one. Your favorite was one that you took of Josh outside of a cabin in Washington. He stood away from the camera, but was smiling straight at it, teeth shining and bandana around his neck. That was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen, the purest form of natural beauty. Nothing like anything, ever. She also chuckled to herself as she flipped to one of Sammy biting Josh’s hand, and Jake posed dramatically against a boulder.

She loved the way that the light reflected with the camera lens, and the way that it interacted with the subject. Just as she was about to write down a title for the series, her phone buzzed on the table next to her, lighting up with a notification from Josh. 

Josh: Hey mama, just got off stage, it went great. I wish you could've seen it. How did the film come out? 

P.S, Jake has tried to stab me sixteen times already. 

Sent: 12:34AM

Penny: It came out great, here see. 

Attachment: 3 images 

Sent 12:35AM 

Josh: Beautiful, my love. You have a gift for manipulating the light, it's amazing. Can we talk or are you too tired? 

Sent: 12:36AM 

The thought of talking to Josh without seeing his face and expressions change with each word, caused her chest to hurt with want. So instead, she clicked the Facetime button rather than call. 

Her phone vibrated for a few seconds, panging in her ear loudly. Yet within the blink of an eye, she was greeted with her favorite pair of brown eyes staring onto the screen in front of him. She smiled, and floofed her hair to make sure it didn’t look too trash. 

“Hey pretty lady,” he smiled at her. Josh was laying on his back on a bed, presumably on the tour bus. He was lacking in a shirt, but the beads that always decorated his neck hung down past his chest. His hand was stretched above his head, and the phone was angled up from his stomach. 

“Hey pretty boy,” she responded, positioning the phone in a more comfortable position on the couch, “watcha up to rockstar?” 

“you know the usual, living the life, but I really really really wish you were here, everybody does.” His eyes blinked slowly, showing signs of tiredness, but he would never reveal that to you right now, your time was too precious. 

“I do too, trust me its so fucking depressing here with just me and Marely,” she sighed, reffering to the tabby cat that her and Josh adopted together a few months ago. 

“aw how is she?” He asked, smiling into the phone. Penny moved the camera to her right, displaying the cat that was curled up by her hip. 

“She is great, but wishes she was living the rockstar life,” Josh chuckled to Penny’s response. 

“Okay but seriously Pen, can’t you just call sick for one week, say you got really bad food poisoning,” he pleaded. 

“If I say that, then I feel like I will accidentally manifest that I will actually get food poisoning for a week,” she laughed into the phone. 

“fair point, but it’s not the same without you here, I’m not the same without you here,” his tone shifted to a more serious one with every word, looking straight into her eyes through the screen. 

“I mean technically I’m on studio time right now, so they wouldn’t know if I came with you for a week or two...or they would fire me,” she scratched her chin, thinking out the possibilities in her head. 

“If they fire you, then just go freelance, they never fully understood your work anyways,” he smirked at her, knowing that she always complained about the company she was hired by, repeating their failures for understanding creativity. 

“Alright Kizka, you drive a hard bargain,” Penny smiled. 

“Is that a yes?” Josh’s eyes widened at the blonde girl through the screen. 

“it is not a no.” 

“fuck yes, so I can book you a plane ride to California for tomorrow?” He now got up from the bunk, excitedly running to his computer. 

“Mhm, just tell me what time.” 

“Ok here’s one, leaves Nashville at 8, gets in Cali at 10,” Josh said, calculating the time difference in his head. 

“you are such a bad influence, Kizka,” Penny rubbed her forehead tiredly. 

“I will see you tomorrow my love, get some sleep okay?” he smiled at her tired expression, kissing the camera of his phone sweetly. 

“see you tomorrow.” and with that she hung up the phone and exhaled loudly. What just happened? One conversation with Josh and she hits the road. It makes her think back to when she didn’t have anyone, and spent years alone in her little studio apartment, taking photos of walls and birds. Now she would drop everything with the snap of his fingers. In her heart she knew that her dependency on him for happiness was not right, but she was too deep in. Her head was stuck underwater, surrounded by the cool rush of his love. The flaws went unnoticed by both of them in fact, just simply mistaking it for head over heels infatuation. 

As her head hit the pillow, she thought that the emptiness of the room was less significant as it was a few hours ago. Maybe it was the excitement of the idea of not sleeping alone tomorrow, or just the few minutes of hearing his voice. Whatever it was lulled her softly to sleep. 

In a hazy dream, she remembered her and Josh’s first kiss. It was outside of their favorite bar after their second date. He stood next to her, shoulder pressed to hers, and hand interlacing with her own. He was wearing his usual attire, a white long sleeved shirt and tan pants. Yet he looked extravagant, his energy was inherently outgoing. As he says, the Kizka’s have a “flair for flair”. The cool wind seemed to push the pair together, jostling her hair softly as he looked over at her. His eyes were slightly hooded, closed just a slightly against the wind. Her glances fell down to his cupids bow, admiring its shape, then to his lips where she wished she never had to leave. He noticed the shift in her gaze and did the same himself, smirking at her. She smiled, tugging his chin towards her. His hands laced through her hair, smiling into the kiss. Their lips met, and they fit together like they were made for each other, and no one else. 

Her alarm forced her out of the wonderful image that played in her sleep, jutting her eyes open to the harsh sunlight of the morning. She quickly packed an old leather suitcase with a few pairs of jeans, shirts, and dresses, knowing that she would be stealing jewlery and sweatshirts from Josh. In what seemed like five minutes she was at her gate, coffee in hand, and camera stowed in her carry-on bag. She decided to text Josh that she was about to board the plane, knowing that he was probably still asleep. 

Penny: Hey, boarding now. I’ll text you when I land

sent 8:05am

She then put her earbuds in, deciding on listening to the new album, just so she was prepared to sing alone at the shows. It wasn’t like she hadn’t memorized it the night it came out, but she always felt bad listening to it with Josh, it just felt odd to her. The first song to come on shuffle was Light My Love, and she nearly cried remembering the fireside performance she witnessed a not too long ago. 

The plane ride went by in what felt like minutes. Her mind was racing with so many thoughts, most about getting in trouble with work, but others about Josh and how excited she was to see him and the rest of the band. The tires of the plane landed in California with a jaulting thud, and she was brought out of her dissociation. 

She knew that Josh expected her to uber to the venue, after all he was probably just waking up now. So she called an uber, standing outside of LAX clad in an old Janis Joplin shirt, flare jeans, and her classic high heeled leather boots. Penny looked straight out of the 70′s, but Josh felt like the 70′s, a pair who perfectly complimented each other. 

The uber ride was bumpy and seemingly and hour too long. She finally reached the venue at 11:46, hastily thanking the driver and sauntering to the tour bus parked behind the stage. She knocked a few times on the door, and after the third time, she finally heard a groggy “what do you want” 

She smiled, pushing the door open with her foot and walking up the stairs, she was met with a pool of long brown hair and a very naked Jake laying on one of the bunks. Josh was nowhere to be seen. 

“Oh hey Penny, what are you doing here?” Jake asked casually, ignoring the fact that he was naked. She was not phased by the latter twins actions, after all, she spent a fair amount of time with the band and often felt like she was equally as close with all of the members. 

“Just lookin for my loverboy, any idea where he is?” She answered, leaning against on of the seats camly. 

“I think I remember him saying he wanted to go hear the acoustics of the empty stage, so maybe he’s there,” Jake answered groggily. 

“thanks,” she said as she made her way, now at a faster speed then before towards the back entrance of the venue. The staff didn’t seem to bat an eye at her as she hastily walked hallway after hallway until she reached the back of the stage. Then she saw him, standing with his arms out wide, silently absorbing the feeling of the empty arena. 

“babe?” she said, accidentally making it sound like a hushed whisper. 

The curly headed man then turned his head over his shoulder, smiling. His smile widened nearly ten fold when he saw the girl to his left. She looked amazing, her hair seemingly always falling in just the right way, she paused for a moment, reaching for something in her bag. 

“don’t move, and look forward again, just like you were before,” She smiled and clicked the shutter of the camera, knowing it would be beautiful, every photo with Josh in it is. She then put the camera away and ran into his arms, collapsing into his embrace. He hugged her tightly, moving his hands up and down her back. 

“I missed you so much my love,” He said into her hair. 

“I missed you more lover,” she replied. 

Hey pretty people! I hoped you liked this chapter, I may or may not write another either tomorrow night or by sunday! Asks are open for Jake or Josh imagines BTW!

[smutkuna]

Paralyzed in Lust | Sukuna x F-Reader

Part 1

Urban legends always seemed to intrigue you, but that’s all they were. Just legends. You’ve seen enough horror movies to know that practicing those rituals never ended well. Your college friends seemed to have the opposite idea, however.

 They loved to go to abandoned areas and attempt some of the rituals posted online. Safely, of course, but how safe is it? They talked about salt circles, protection wards, sigils, and protection amulets or crystals but is that enough?

 They would mention that attempting to summon a demon is dangerous, but here they are in your studio apartment, talking about calling forth a demon from an urban legend that seemed to pop out of nowhere.

 The urban legend about Ryomen Sukuna, a four-armed demon that no one could seem to invite. You didn’t understand why anyone would want to summon a demon, but you guess curiosity killed that cat.

 You sat on your twin-sized bed lined up against the wall while your friends sat on a two-seater bench situated in front of your bed, underneath the long window. Your studio apartment held all the essentials for a financially struggling college student.

 Entering the apartment, you would be met with a small hallway. On your immediate left is the door to the bathroom, while on your immediate right is a small storage space. Farther in, you’re met with the small space for your bed on the left with a walk-in closet that shares the wall with the bathroom.

 Facing the entrance is the bench underneath a horizontal window with a view of the busy street, covered by some window shutters to give you some privacy. These shutters were currently open, letting in the remaining light from the sunset, but were slightly blocked by your friends.

 To the right of the hallway entrance behind the storage, is your kitchen. It had enough space to fit a bit of counter space, fridge, sink, and dishwasher. Adjacent to your kitchen, across your bed, and near the bench was an L-shaped divider hiding a portable washer and dryer.

 “[Y/n]!” your friend, Nobara, exclaimed. “Will you finally join us for this ritual? I know you’re not really into these things, but it’s safe, I swear. We even have our protection spells and everything.”

 You hummed in apprehension. “I’m not sure I’m ready to do those yet.”

 Megumi, your other friend, nodded his head. “Okay, but just let us know whenever you want to join us or if you end up doing it on your own...” he grabbed some of Nobara’s amulets and his salt bags. “Here, I’ll lend some to you in case you change your mind.”

 He placed the items in your bag.

 “Thank you. When are you both planning on doing the ritual?” you asked them.

 “Ah, maybe tonight? We have nothing else planned, and we’ve been itching to try this ritual out ever since we saw it on a forum.” Nobara replied. She pulled out her phone and scrolled for a while before handing it to you. “Everyone’s been talking about it, but no one’s been able to pull it off.”

 Megumi then spoke. “Yeah and no one’s sure about where this urban legend came from anyway so we don’t know if it’s real or not. That’s why we want to see for ourselves.”

 You took a peek at Nobara’s phone and read parts of the forum out loud.

 “Ryomen Sukuna... Four-armed demon… To begin the ritual, cut the pads of all your fingers until blood oozes out. Bro what?” You looked at your friends in confusion. They simply shrugged and told you to continue reading.

 “Soak your bloody fingers in a large bowl of water until the water is stained dark red. Remove your hands from the bowl and do this hand sign by connecting your thumb, middle, and ring finger pads while your index and pinky fingers are bent towards your palms. What in the summoning-jutsu is this?”

 You attempted the hand signs after you had placed her phone on your bed. Megumi lightly laughed and showed you how to do it properly.

 “Girl, you watch too much Naruto.” Nobara snickered.

 You rolled your eyes and smirked. “I’m not the only one simping over Kakashi and Itachi. You’re just as guilty.”

 “Here [y/n], continue reading the rules.’ Megumi said, handing you the phone.

 “Say ‘Domain Expansion: Malevolent Shrine’ after performing the hand sign and dunk your face into the bowl of water and blood. After this, Sukuna will appear. To properly end the ritual, thank him for his time and say ‘Cleave.’ This is critical. Failure to do so will leave you with cursed energy around you. **For extra protection, perform an exorcism.”

 You sighed after reading the rules of the forum. It seemed easy enough but you weren’t sure whether it was worth the risk to have cursed energy if it failed and did you need to perform an exorcism?? Wasn’t that a bit too much? Plus, you wanted all the luck you could get since you just applied for an internship for the fall quarter.

 “Well, if you both decide to do this, please be safe,” you told your friends.

 Nobara smiled and grabbed her small backpack. “Don’t worry, we’ll text you what happens. We were thinking of recording it anyway, so we’ll send that to you later tonight after we try it.”

 She hugged you and started walking to the door followed by Megumi.

 “You can keep the rest of the pizza. It’s not easy for me to digest,” he said, as he double-checked to make sure you had the amulets and salt bags. You smiled at him, eyes showing appreciation because you had very little food left in your fridge.

 “Thank you, Megumi. Good night, you two. I’ll see you both tomorrow after work.” you said, waving to them as they left your apartment complex. Once they were out of your sight, you closed and locked your entrance door.

 You grabbed your laptop and made your way toward the kitchen, putting it on top of the small counter space you had. You sighed as you put away the leftover pizza in the fridge. Being an avid horror fan, you enjoyed the paranormal, but partaking in anything of the sort in real life made you nervous.

 The urban legend of Sukuna intrigued you, even if the ritual was slightly strange. Wouldn’t you faint from losing so much blood? Plus, who the fuck is Sukuna anyway? What made him so special for people to want to do this sort of thing?

 Facepalming, you opened a web browser on your laptop and did a simple search. Who is Ryomen Sukuna?

 You scrolled through countless forums, talking about the ritual and how it didn’t work. No one seemed to be able to conjure Ryomen Sukuna. The problem was that no one knew who he was. Only that he was a strong demonic entity that holds a lot of cursed energy and has two faces and two sets of arms.

 Two sets, huh? What, does he have two dicks too? You laughed to yourself, but then rolled your eyes and groaned. You needed to get laid.

 Further throughout your research, you decided to take a break and looked over to the clock on the wall above your washer and dryer. It was 11:56 PM, indicating that your friends left three hours ago.

 You took a glance at your phone that was charging next to your laptop and noticed that Megumi and Nobara had sent an attachment to your group chat. Unplugging your phone from the charger, you unlocked it and strode over to the bathroom.

 Your group chat read:

 “Hey [y/n], we finished the ritual but nothing happened. Bummer, I was looking forward to summoning one of the most difficult demons to conjure up.” Nobara sent at midnight.

 “Oi, here’s the video,” Megumi replied, with a black screen video attached after his message.

 Oh wow, they actually recorded it. You thought, adding some toothpaste to your toothbrush. You pressed on the video and let it play while you brushed your teeth.

 You watched as both your friends performed the finger-bleeding step and you couldn’t help but gag a little. That’s a shit ton of blood. It took a while considering each of their fingers had a small cut, and the bowls were large. After a couple of minutes, Megumi and Nobara removed their hands from the bowl and performed the hand sign.

 “Domain Expansion: Malevolent Shrine.” You heard them chant once and then watched them dunk their head into the bloody water as you spit out your toothpaste and rinse your mouth.

Standing in front of the mirror and sink, you stared at the video, watching your friends and waiting for something to happen.

 In the video, you saw Nobara and Megumi look at each other and shrug. You fast-forwarded the video a bit, looking for any sign that the ritual worked but the video ended with them thanking Sukuna and saying “Cleave” before anything appeared.

 Exiting out of the video, you sent a response to the group chat.

 “I’m sorry nothing happened, guys. I know you were excited for something to happen.”

 “It’ll make us feel better if you tried it yourself hehe” Nobara replied with a smirk emoji.

 You stared at her message for a while, contemplating what you should do. Preparing for your night routine, you stripped and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run down your back, massaging your aching muscles.

 You had a long day at work, and now you were stuck on whether you should do this ritual or not. Nothing has been happening to anyone anyway, so most likely nothing will happen to you. This ritual was probably a hoax, just a trend since people were bored. Right?

 Please conscience, what do I do? AH FUCK IT.

 After you had finished your shower, you hastily applied your lotions and pajamas which consisted of a tank top and lace underwear. You grabbed your phone from the bathroom and reread the forum on what to do, sending another reply to Nobara saying that you’ll do the ritual.

 You grabbed the essential items you needed: salt, amulet, a large basin of water, and a pocket knife. You released a large breath you seemed to be holding and read the text you just received from the group chat.

 “AYE, that’s my girl!!” Nobara sent with a grinning gif.

 “Be safe [y/n]. Text us if anything happens and don’t forget to use the salt and amulets.” Megumi responded.

 “I’ll record myself and send it to both of you once I finish” 

 You balanced your phone on the foot of your bed, pressed record, and placed the ritual items on the floor beside you, grabbing the amulet first and placing the tie around your neck. 

 Please protect me. You thought as you gripped the amulet and placed some salt in a circle, trapping yourself within it. 

 You steadied your breathing and positioned the bowl in front of you. 

 All right. Let’s get this over with.

 Slicing the pads of your fingertips with the pocket knife, you held your fingers over the large basin, watching the blood drip into the water. 

 God, I should’ve played some music in the background. The silence is killing me. I swear to God if that fucking Tip Toe Through the Meadow song from Insidious plays on a radio, I’m going to burn this building down.

 The water rippled as each blood drop collided with it. Your nerves were on high alert, but you were too scared to glance around your room. What if there was a shadow at your doorway or a ghost in the mirror? WHAT IF it was right behind you?!

 You cried internally and tried to rid your thoughts of anything horrific. After what seemed to be forever, waiting in agony, the bowl was painted crimson. You released another breath and tried to remember the next step of the ritual.

 Ah right, the jutsu sign.

 You formed the hand sign and said out loud, “DOMAIN EXPANSION: MALEVOLENT SHRINE.” 

 Cringing, you dipped your head into the bowl and stayed there until you needed a gulp of air. 

 This is disgusting, why am I doing this again?

 Your face was tinted with blood and you carefully looked around your room without the blood dripping onto your laminated floors. Your hearing was heightened due to the lack of light in the room, but you heard nothing. You felt nothing. 

 It probably didn’t work. Thank you, God. I can live to see another day.

 “Ryomen Sukuna, if you’re there, thank you for your time. Let’s not do this again, please and thank youuu.” you sang. “CLEAVE.”

 You grabbed your phone from the footrest of your bed, ended the recording, and texted the group chat.

 “I just finished. Nothing happened to me either. I guess it is just a hoax.”

 “Damn. What if we did something wrong? Let’s try it again.” Nobara said.

 “My face has my blood dripping from it, no thank you.” 

 “You said ‘Cleave,’ right [y/n]?” Megumi questioned.

 “Yup. I’m gonna go clean up and try to sleep. I’ll see you both tomorrow. Good night!” 

 Bidding each other good night, you swept the salt circle and drained the bloody water into the bathroom sink. You rinsed your face of any remnants of the ritual and reapplied your moisturizer. 

 Plopping onto your bed and hiding under the covers, you glanced once more at the clock. It read 2 AM. 

 Damn, I have class in 6 hours. Note to self: stop registering for 8 AM classes in case you decide to do rituals late into the night.

 You closed your eyes and attempted to sleep, but you couldn’t stop tossing and turning. Something didn’t feel right. You felt suffocated like something was watching you. You were too scared to open your eyes and hid further into your covers.

 Sure, [y/n]. They’ll never know I’m under here.

 You kept tossing and turning for thirty minutes because you just couldn’t find that comfortable spot. Suddenly, you felt a sensation on your limbs. 

 What the fuck?

 You froze. You felt like each of your limbs were grabbed by one… two… FOUR HANDS?! You didn’t want to believe it. You couldn’t believe it. No fucking way the ritual worked. Counting to three, you screamed and punched into the air. 

 Nothing was there. No one was there. You were alone.

Part 2: https://smutkuna.tumblr.com/post/655579886704017408/paralyzed-in-lust-sukuna-x-f-reader

[thiswasinevitableid]

Hii uhhh this is for mermay, but it's not one of the fills so please feel free to ignore this if it doesn't catch your interest!!

Idea;; within a mostly-canon setting, Duck is turned into a merperson (probably while they're trying to deal with one of the abominations, but that part's flexible) and has to deal with it while still trying to like,, function. He gets a magic disguise, but hijinks ensue.

Here you go! I attached this to "Summer rain" and another mermay prompt. It's SFW

The last time he went flying through the air and into the water while fighting an abomination, he almost died. So he’s none too pleased when he surfaces from being chucked in Lake Brahe.

“What the fuck Indrid?!”

“I’m so sorry” Mothman flaps above him, both sets of hands tapping together anxiously, “I promise this is for the best but I’ll admit the exact process might have been overkill.”

“You fuckin’ think??” Duck kicks towards shore, grabbing his hat as it tries to float away, “the others are still back there with that thing. And I fuckin hate bein’ chucked into things without warnin.”

“I don’t think there are people who do enjoy such things.” Indrid alights on the shore Duck is swimming towards.

“Well then don’t fuckin do them.”

“It is for your own good, Duck Newton.”

“Yeah, heard that one before.” He hits shallow water, wades to shore trying to shake his hat dry, “now c’mon, fly me back so we can-”

His legs crumple, sending him face first into the lake. Crawling is no good, his whole body contorting and shaking, his throat and lungs burning. He claws at the pebbles and sand, coming away with fistfuls, grabbing for something, anything, to pull him from the water, as if reaching shore will free him from the pain wracking his body.

The world is coming in photo negative now, flashes of color that don’t make sense, the crack of his bones filling his ears. He might he crying, the pain is too deep to tell what else he’s feeling or doing.

“Help” he rasps into the night air.

Human hands cup his face, guide his aching head down across bony legs, “It will not last much longer.”

“Am” he gasps, feels the Sylph turn their bodies for some unknown purpose, breathing easier after he does, “am I gonna die.”

“No. And before you ask, your powers would not have done much for you if you still had them.”

“Fuck” he whimpers.

“Agreed.” Indrid strokes his hair, “five more seconds. Four, three, two, one.”

Duck passes out before Indrid can say anything else. He’s roused by the footfalls of combat boots and wingtips down the beach.

“Duck, Indrid-OH HOLY SHIT!”

“He’s not-”

“No, Ned, he is very much alive. Had I not moved him when I did, he would have suffocated before you could get him to any water.”

“Thank god.” Ned must be by his head.

“Aubrey, can, can you, it hurts-”

“Ummmmm” His friend sounds like she’s trying to come up with a comforting explanation, “which part of your tail hurts?”

Duck sits bolt upright, then falls back into Indrid’s arms, staring at the deep green and silver tail where his legs should be.

“Well….fuck.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

“How are you doing?” Indrid, red glasses glinting and pink and yellow sweater hanging off his tall frame, perches on a rock.

“Great. I’m a regular, breakable dipshit who turned into a fuckin merman without warnin, I had to have Barclay call work and tell ‘em I got a flu so they won’t fire me for disppearin, anything my friends bring me to eat gets soggy, and I ain’t seen my cat in three days.”

“So...not good then?”

Duck raises an eyebrow. Indrid smiles, not his usual confident, casual one. He looks unsure, which is in and of itself kind of unnerving.

“No, Indrid. Not good at all.”

“Ah. Apologies, I sometimes have trouble parsing certain tones.”

Duck swims closer, “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright. You have every reason to be angry and upset. Even with me.”

“Pretty sure you didn’t curse me.”

“No. But had I moved faster, gotten to you all sooner, you would not have been in it’s path at all.”

It’s so matter of fact. The same way Indrid talks about anything troubling.

“Certainly my most newsworthy failure”

“Had you not arrived at the cottonwood, it would have been rather bad for me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about the eye. It hurt, but I have felt far worse.”

“And I have yet more bad news; while I can make a charm that will allow you to be in your human form for up to six hours at a time, the properties of that abomination mean eventually you’ll have to return to water.”

There’s a flicker in the smile, so swift Duck wonders if it’s only because his eyes are no longer human, slit pupiled instead of round, that he sees it at all. Or if it’s because this is the first time they haven’t been surrounded by heat, noise, or danger.

“Indrid, you know I don’t blame you, right?”

“Of course, Duck. I was merely being thorough in my apology.” Now it’s his normal, wide smile, but too tight across his teeth.

“He was before my time.” Vincent grins as he sets the DVDs on a well-dusted shelf, “though if Woodbridge is anything like he is now, I doubt they got along. The other ministers say he was...determined when he left. Like he could conquer any challenge earth presented during his quest."

Indrid’s glasses slip down his nose and he pushes them up before Duck gets even a glance at his eyes, “Now, where did I put that pin…” He pats his pockets, freezes when Duck manages to set a hand on his shin.

“Indrid, I mean it. Didn’t blame you then, don’t blame you now. Hell, from the sound of it you saved my ass, big time. So, uh, what I’m tryin to say is thanks. For lookin out for me.”

He squeezes in what he hopes is a friendly fashion. Indrid chirps, once, face losing all trace of eeriness. Then he schools it back to normal.

“You’re welcome. Punching aside, I’m quite fond of you. I’m going to use this for your charm, if that’s alright.” A souvenir pin from the Monongahela's tenth anniversary sits between slender fingers.

“Holy shit, I been lookin for that for ages. I, uh, I try to-”

“Collect them, yes. I saw that in a conversation between you and Juno. I was going to give this to you anyway, goodness knows it took awhile to find it in the trailer, but now it can serve a greater purpose.” With that, he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Duck’s image unfolds before them, Indrid smoothing it out and setting it on the rock as he begins working. Duck watches with interest, notices the process is much slower than it was when Indrid disguised Billy.

“Am I harder to get right than Ryan Gosling?”

“Yes. Well, not technically, no, but with Billy I just needed him to look human. I need you to look like, well, you. Such a fine specimen requires the utmost care.”

Duck’s about to toss back his usual line he gives to guys who compliment him, then realizes flirting with the Mothman might be weird, or that Indrid may not have meant it as anything more than some clinical, Sylph observation of humans. He tries to distract himself by swimming, but his tail still won’t do what he wants much of the time.

“You’ll have greater success on your back.” Indrid says without looking up.

He’s right, and Duck manages to swim without difficulty, tail shimmering in the sunset. The one time he glances at his friend, Indrid is staring at swaying and rippling in the water.

When the Sylph finally calls that he’s done, Duck speeds to the rock, let’s Indrid pin the charm to the collar of his undershirt that he keeps wearing because he’s still a human, dammit, just one with an inconvenient tail and he’s not gonna start skinny-dipping in a national forest. Again.

Duck flails when legs replace his tail, Indrid’s hand grabbing his a moment before he needs it to and helping him onto dry land.

“Satisfactory?”

“It’s fuckin perfect!”

“Wonderful!” Indrid claps his hands together, “what would you like to do? I may need to escort you for the first day, to be certain there’s no flaw in the charm.”

Duck studies the pink light tracing the angles of Indrid’s face, “Wanna meet my cat? She looks like a bobcat that lost a bar fight, but she’s sweet as can be.”

Indrid’s grin turns genuine for the first time all day, “I would like nothing better.”

The mothman becomes a staple of his life after that. With the charm, he’s able to help the Pine Guard track and slay the abomination, go to work, look after his house, and generally convince anyone not in the know that he’s totally fine. But he has to return to the lake every day, spends his mornings and nights there, even his lunch breaks when he knows he needs to give the charm a break then. It’s far enough away that he’s in no danger of being seen by civilians, but at least once Indrid had to fly him to it before they ran out of time (and Aubrey had to teleport them there, which made him nauseous).

Indrid keeps him company, sometimes with the others and sometimes on his own. He finds waterproof cards and games, listens to Duck talk about work and tells him about his travels. At first he worries Indrid is only doing it out of guilt, but as the weeks go by he comes to see that Indrid likes him. He laughs at his jokes, gives him as close to his full attention as he can, even scratches his scales with his mothed-out claws when they start driving Duck crazy with itchiness.

His friend always goes home to sleep, which is why, as Duck is drifting on his back, half snoozing and half star-gazing, the red eyes high in a tree come as a surprise. He’s on the other end of the lake, doesn’t seem to see Duck as he spreads his wings and flaps into the air. Then he nosedives, pulling up before he hits the water and then skimming across it in broad strokes. He shoots upward, spins, and then repeats the routine.

Duck’s seen him fly during fights and to escape the Cottonwood. Never like this, never so free and graceful. It’s such a joyful sight, makes Duck wish he had wings of his own so he could join him, dance across the stars and their reflections.

He swims towards Indrid, begins mirroring him on a whim, twisting, diving, and leaping as best he can in time with the cryptids flight. Pushes his tail to carry him faster, farther, all for the sake of keeping pace with the beautiful monster in the sky.

Surfacing after a particularly giant splash, a voice lilts down from the sky.

“Race you to the other side.”

Duck loses, but only just, cackles when Indrid buzzes him so closely he can feel the tickle of his feathers. When the mothman finally lands Duck swims to him, scooting up on land so he can watch Indrid fluff and clean his feathers.

“I come to this lake to practice flying without fear of being seen. I assumed you were asleep but, ah” his antenna twitch, “I’m glad you weren’t.”

Duck stretches, moans happily when Indrid gently glides his claws up his tail, “Me too.”

“Same time tomorrow night?” Soft hope flutters between them.

“Yeah.” He grins up at the cryptid, “bring your A-game, I’m gonna carb load tomorrow mornin so I can kick your butt.”

“I look forward to it.”

----------------------------------------------------

It’s been a month and a half since he transformed, which puts them smack in summer thunderstorm season. Duck’s used to it, though he’s more than a little nervous about what will happen if lightning hits the lake. Luckily, tonight it’s just soft summer rain instead of electricity and drops the size of robin eggs.

Indrid isn’t faring as well. The rain droops his antenna, compresses his fluff until Duck can see he’s still a twig under all those feathers. He shivers, chirrs in discomfort and shakes off his wings, but stays put on his favorite rock.

“There a reason you ain’t just turnin human? Could put on a raincoat that way.”

“I” Indrid sneezes, “I want you to feel comfortable. It can be so unpleasant, feeling like the only non-human in a place.”

Duck swims to the rock, flicking his tail up and down as he float, “You’re always changin form to make me comfortable.”

“Yes. Because I want you to not be unnerved by me.”

“But what about what you want?”

A feathery shrug, “That doesn’t matter.”

“Drid-”

Red eyes glare at him, “I am well aware of how I look, Duck. What people think of me. Would you have spent even a fraction of the time you have with me if your transformation had not forced it?”

“Y-fu-uh-I mean not no?” He sinks into the water as resignation becomes visible on Indrid’s inhuman features.

“I’m glad for our friendship, Duck. And I don’t doubt that you’re fond of me now. But please don’t pretend I was your first choice for company.”

“I mean...you weren’t. But that’s because we barely knew each other, hell, you only got back to town three months ago.” Duck takes the hand nearest him, “if this happened to me now? You might be the first person I’d want lookin out for me.”

Indrid chirrs, dips his head down to rub his cheek against Duck’s hand. Suddenly he wants nothing as badly as he wants to get Indrid warm and dry so he can run his fingers through every inch of those feathers.

“May I turn human?’

“Of course. Means you can come swimmin with me.”

Indrid, now in a tank top and yoga pants, cocks his head, “Why?”

“It’ll be fun?”

“My kind are not the strongest of swimmers.”

“Good thing I got a tail and gills, then. Besides, you’ll stop feelin as sticky from the humidity if you’re in the water.”

Indrid pulls off his shirt and pants, revealing duck-patterned boxers, and cautiously wades into the lake.

“Ooohhhh, that is so much better” his sighs, too blissed-out to notice the sudden drop, and only just manages to grab his glasses before going under. Duck zips forward, hoisting him easily into an embrace as he splutters.

“Blechhh, I despise the taste of lake water.” He clings to Duck, skinny legs teasingly tense around his tail.

Duck rubs his tail up and down his inner legs soothingly, “you, uh, want somethin to get rid of the taste?”

“Please.” Indrid smirks, clearly expecting a goof. When Duck tips his glasses up his forehead, he goes stone still.

“Can I kiss you?”

“This was not in any of the timelines.”

“Just came to me now. And that ain’t an answer.”

Indrid nods, tips his face forward to bring their lips together. Duck sighs, floats lazily backwards as Indrid slips his tongue between his lips. When they part, there are more stars in his eyes than in the whole milky way.

“Do you want some good news?” Indrid nuzzles his neck with an adorable trill.

“Lay it on me.”

“The futures just shifted; Aubrey and Janelle will have a cure for your condition tomorrow.”

“Hell yeah.” Duck flips them upright, Indrid “eeping” and holding tighter, “can’t wait to stop worryin’ about whether I’m gonna start suffocatin on land. And, uh” he nips Indrid’s lower lip, forgetting about his sharpened teeth until the Sylph lets out a little moan, “if you ain’t busy tomorrow night, like to take you on a date.”

Indrid beams, “I’d like that so very much. Though I will admit, I’m going to miss how this looks on you.” He squeezes his thighs around Duck’s tail.

“You can always whip me up one if we wanna, uh, relive the fun parts of this experience.”

“True. And with that in mind, my sweet; how do you feel about wings?”

[threeletterslife]

Don’t Look Back [Request]

→ summary: It’s friends with benefits and no strings attached—the strings are burned and the ashes are swept and hurled into the sea where all evidence of love drowns in the depth of the waters.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-15

→ genre: angst | mafia!au

→ warnings: gun usage, gunshot wounds, blood, pain, mentions of sex and multiple partners, profanity

→ wordcount: 2k

→ a/n: my first request! i may or may not have cried writing this fsdfsdl let’s see if i’m just an emotional bitch or if this is aCTUALLY tear-worthy

♫: Once Again by Mad Clown & Kim Na Young

cr.

This, this is your end. Though you would never admit it out loud. Nor would Seokjin as he, with trembling hands, struggles to locate where the bullet had penetrated your skin and lodged itself painfully into your leg. You hiss sharply when he grazes over the gushing wound. It's impossible to see the scarlet-red blood gushing out—it's too dark out at night. But you can feel the viscous wetness of it pour out of the gash, continuously. There is no promise of it stopping any time soon.

The harsh sound of gunshots ricochets off the suffocating night air behind you and Seokjin. He's scared too, but he would never admit it. You're struggling to breathe; to you, your panting is louder than the thunderous bullets flying through the air.

"You'll be alright," Seokjin whispers so quietly that you barely hear him over the guns in the distance. "I'll get you out of here." He presses his hand against your bullet-wound on your thigh, attempting to stop the steady flow of blood. But it's no use. And when you start to whimper, clawing at his hands to stop him, he's left with no other choice but to pull away.

"You can't do this, Jin..." you whisper. "You have to go... You have to leave me."

"Seokjin! Get the hell over here!" Jimin yells. He's ahead of the two of you, already running off from the murderous scene. "Come on!"

It had been an unexpected ambush. A mission failure before the mission even really began.

"I'm hurt like you, Y/N," Seokjin says urgently. "I have to stay. I'm not leaving you."

Tears sting your eyes as you bite your lip to transfer the pain in your leg to somewhere else. "You got nicked on the arm, Jin," you say as your hand reaches up to touch the sleeve of his jacket—a bullet had scathed his skin just barely, but it had left a hole in the cloth. Your hand falls limply to your side as you cast your head down, watching the black blood ooze out of your wound. The puddle underneath you begins to creep down towards the rest of your leg, soaking your jeans with blood. "Seokjin... I can't even walk."

"No..." Seokjin whispers. "No, Y/N..."

He watches as your eyes flutter as if you would slip from consciousness at any moment—as if you were fighting to hold in the torturous agony.

It's nearly midnight and it's pitch black outside, the darkness had made it easier for the enemies to attack. And now the dark tenebrosity was the only thing keeping you and Seokjin from being shot. They couldn't see you now.

But you've always been afraid of the dark. Even when Seokjin first met you. It was strange. You were a fierce and independent woman—the only woman to enlist a career as a hitman. You did not demand respect but you earned it from every male in the hitman crew the moment you walked in and bulls-eyed every single target in your path. You were the type of woman who didn't need any man to hold open the door for you. You'd be the one to open the door yourself and slam it shut in their faces. You didn't flinch at the sight of bloodbaths, either—after all, it was part of your job to make others shed blood before your eyes. It was a part of you to watch people die.

Yet behind that serious façade was a girl who was still afraid of the dark. The girl who insisted on having the lights on during sex because the gloom of a black room scared her. The girl who would grit her teeth and momentarily ignore her intense phobia when she was forced by her Boss to take on missions at the devil's hour—the tense dead of the night. You were a girl who liked soft kisses over heavy making out; a girl who loved making love over fucking; a girl who loved praise and whispers of sweet endearments rather than name-calling and degradation. A girl who would never leave anyone behind because—even though you never admitted it—the hitmen were like a family to you. You were—are—a girl who would fight to your last breath to keep everyone on the same page.

Seokjin's heart shatters into pieces when he sees your exterior had broken down. You're crying, sweating, hair in a frenzied mess and bloodstains on your face. You shake so hard in his arms that he feels cold.

"G-Go," you keep pleading at him. "Leave."

Again and again, he shakes his head, refusing to leave you. The others are yelling at him too, but Seokjin can hear nothing but you. He wishes it weren't night. He wishes he could see your face. He wishes it were morning so you had one less thing to be afraid of. Most of all, he wishes he had more time. After all, he never even got to tell you that he loves you.

Love is never good in this type of business. It's always friends with benefits and no strings attached—the strings are burned and the ashes are swept and hurled into the sea where all evidence of love and care drown in the depth of the waters. You've probably fucked every single damn hitman under your current Boss. But Seokjin's the one you keep coming back to. Because with him, you feel appreciated, welcomed, cared for, loved. And not used.

He's loved you for five years, but he couldn't tell you. Nothing was worth ruining your friendship and maintaining a business-like exterior. You were his closest friend out of the hitmen. Though his loyalties shifted every time he worked for a new boss, his loyalty stayed with you. Seokjin knows everything about you.

You love reading cheesy romance novels in the morning while consuming too-salty hotdog sausages and drinking mixed berry smoothies with extra sugar and ice. You love having your lamp on by your bedside before you turn off the lights in your room to go to sleep—so it wouldn't be completely dark when you snuggle under your covers. You love, absolutely love cats and you've always wanted one. Seokjin was going to buy a kitten for you too, but that's all in the past now...

"Jin..." you breathe shakily. "You have to go."

"I can't leave you."

You push him away, gritting your teeth when your leg shifts position. "Yes, you fucking can, you bastard. I'm fine!" you yell over the shooting in the background. "Move before I make you." You're trying to sound intimidating, but there's a tremor to your voice that Seokjin can't ignore; your eyes are watery from the pain, the fear—Seokjin doesn't know—and there are wet streaks running down your cheeks.

"You can barely walk," he answers. "Get on my back. I'll carry you, then."

"What the fuck, Kim! Hurry up before we all get killed!" Jimin yells at him again.

Seokjin ignores him, peering into your eyes to convince you, somehow, not to give up.

"Get over here!" Namjoon shouts. "Seokjin!"

You shake your head. "Every moment that you're spending with me, you're wasting time. If you take me with you, I’ll slow you down. Jin, I'm not worth saving. Not when the risk is so high." On cue, a bullet flies past your heads, almost grazing Seokjin's ear.

"N-No," he stutters. "No, Y/N. They're gonna get you. They're gonna torture you."

You force out a mischievous grin, clenching your fists tight against your body as you keep your pain to yourself. "I'm a good liar. I'll say I'm not part of the gang. Here," you say, handing Seokjin your handgun and dagger from your boot. "Take my weapons so they don't suspect me."

"Y/N... You'll be defenseless."

"Maybe it'll make my lie sound more convincing," you argue, biting your lip. "I'm serious, Kim Seokjin. Leave." You try to push him away again. But tears spring to your eyes when your leg shifts once more. "Please..." you beg him. "Leave."

"FUCKING LEAVE HER, MAN!" someone screams in the back.

"YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!"

Seokjin turns around to see the others frantically waving at him to go. He lets out a deep breath and gives you one last look before he stands.

You smile. "That's it... Just, leave me..."

But your voice is so quiet, he can't hear you over the gunshots that are heightening in volume as the seconds fly past.

You mouth something to him—so softly, so delicately that he misses it.

"What?" he says.

Your lips repeat the motion, but the sound does not come out. Your eyes are bloodshot, and your head begins to lull to the side. Still, you repeat the inaudible phrase over and over again until the motion of your lips is ingrained in Seokjin's mind. He will never be able to kiss them again.

"W-What?" he tries again, but it's no use. Someone's got a strong grip on his arm, and Seokjin feels himself being tugged away from you.

He never breaks eye contact. It's so dark that even though he's only a few feet away from you, he can't see your face; but he can hear you cry loudly.

"GO!" you suddenly shriek. Your voice sounds ragged in the edges, stern but so full of misery and pain. "DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING LOOK BACK!"

Seokjin nods. He nods at the barely-visible figure that you've become. His hands, clothes are drenched in your blood. He can't remember the last time he's seen your face in the light. When was the last time you'd kissed him during sex? When was the last time Seokjin dreamed that one day, you and he would break the oath and leave the mafia for good? When was the last time he fantasized that he'd confess his love for you and then you would scream happily and tell him you love him too? He can't remember anything except for the last movements of your thin, cracked lips, whispering the same phrase over and over again.

After hesitating and Jimin urgently dragging him away, Seokjin finally turns his back to you, letting out a shaky breath. He was never supposed to abandon you. He feels the urge to look back—at least see your face one last time. But it's no use. It's too dark.

He closes his eyes, his legs moving against his will as he lets his friend take him away from the scene.

You would've stayed with him if it were Seokjin who was bleeding to death. But he's selfish because he'd listened to you—it's too late now. If he turns back at this moment, he'll be shot dead before he can even get near you.

His eyes sting from tears, but he keeps them shut. In the pitch-black darkness beneath his eyelids, he can visualize your face—though blurry in the dark. He can see your lips; he watches as they move, repeating the inaudible phrase over and over again.

Suddenly, it clicks.

He almost chokes on the night air; being alive has never felt more torturous.

You'd told him you love him.

I love you, you'd said over and over again. I love you. I love you. I love you.

You love him.

And he was never able to give you the relief you deserved by saying it back. Seokjin bites his lips so hard he can taste blood. The wound in his arm hurts less than the pain in his heart. You're going to leave this world without knowing that he loves you.

That all the times he'd kissed you in bed, he'd meant it. That he wasn't just being nice when he checked up on your health in the middle of the night and helped you with target practice at the break of dawn. That he was supposed to confess to you.

But you'd done it first.

Tears flood down his face as he sobs. But no matter how urgently his heart tells him to turn around, he can't. He won't look back.

He can't. Not when guilt consumes his body and eats away at his mind.

He loves you, and you had loved him back. But it's too late now. You're dead. And Seokjin won’t look back.

masterlist

[vanillacupcake]

Too Much Flour

A/N: So I’ve been fantasizing about this forever. This is also my first fic on here, so feedback would be appreciated!

Pairing: Tom Holland x (F)Reader

Summary: Tom can’t cook to save his life. You, on the other hand, are known for being quite the chef. So, when he tries and fails to make cookies, he calls you up for a favour. Who knew it would end up changing your lives?

Warning: Fluff, Tom being a terrible cook, SMUUUUTTTTTTT, Tom is a dirty-talker, unprotected sex(use a condom!), Hamilton references.

Word Count: 1.9K

You were sitting in your flat, watching some kinda trashy wannabe-Halloween horror movie and cuddling with your cat, Jessie, absentmindedly stroking her fur. About 40 minutes into the movie, your phone goes off next to you, startling Jessie and making her jump out of your lap. You grumbled, pausing your movie and looking at your phone. A small smile crept on your lips as you saw “Thomas Jefferson”, Tom’s contact, show up on your screen.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, hi,” he started, his voice making your heart flutter “Um, I’ve made a mistake.”

“Oh god, what did you do?”

“Well, I tried to bake cookies, but they didn’t spread and they look raw, even though they feel cooked.”

You chuckled. Tom was never known for being a great cook, but whenever he told you about his failures when attempting to cook it always made you crack up.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” You say, already turning off your tv and heading to your room to change.

“Thank you, Y/N!”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem. See ya.”

“Bye.”

You got dressed and headed out the door, hopping in your car to go to Tom’s flat. You and Tom met a few years ago when you guys sat next to each other while seeing Hamilton, hence the name on your phone. He noticed you singing along to all the songs and started humming along with you. Oh, you remember it like it was yesterday.

————

You had somehow managed to score tickets to Hamilton. In the best seats in the theatre, no less. You’d been a fan since it came out, and seeing it live was your biggest dream. You sat down in your seat with your popcorn and drink, ready for the greatest moment of your life. You heard someone sit down next to you, and you briefly glanced at them before turning your attention back to the stage.

You didn’t fully register who it was until you looked back. You saw an attractive looking man with curly brown hair. He looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t figure out who he was. Didn’t matter, the show was starting.

It wasn’t until The Schuyler Sisters came on that you noticed him again. You didn’t realize it but you were singing along. You heard a hum next to you, and you looked to see that he was humming along, looking at you. You blushed and flashed him a smile, which he returned. You kept exchanging glances at each other throughout the whole show.

Next thing you knew, he was running up to you asking for your number. You gave it to him gladly, wanting to see him again. That’s how your friendship began.

————

You sighed. Even after two years of friendship, every minute of them spent with you in love with him, he’d never see you in that light. After finding out that he was famous, it just solidified that he would never return your feelings. Pulling up to his flat, you put your depressing thoughts away and rushed up into his place. You opened the door using the key he gave you, and you were met with the smell of cookies.

“Y/N, thank god you’re here!” Tom sighed when he saw you.

You rushed over to the oven, where you saw a sheet of poorly done cookies. You looked at him, scolding him with your eyes. He gave you an apologetic smile. You touched a cookie, and true to his word, it looked raw but felt completely cooked.

“Oh, I see what you did wrong,” you said “how much flour did your recipe call for?”

“2 cups.”

“Did you just dunk the measuring cup into the bag and pour it in?”

“Yeah?” He said with a confused expression.

“Then you used too much flour. You have to scrape the excess off with a knife.”

Tom rolled his eyes, but then smiled at you. “Can you show me how to do it?”

You smiled and nodded. He pulled up the recipe and you started gathering ingredients. He stared at you, as if in awe. It took you clearing your throat for him to snap out of his trance.

“Alright, let’s get started!”

—-Time skip cause I’m lazy—-

You took the cookies out of the oven, and you and Tom looked at them with pride. Five minutes after pulling them out you moved the cookies to a rack.

“Let’s try one,” you said, picking up a cookie, breaking it in half and handing it to Tom.

“Cheers!” you guys said in sync, lightly tapping your halves together before eating them.

A soft moan escaped your lips, making Tom’s eyes snap on you. You stared at him, waiting for an answer as to why he’s looking at you. He just stands there, eyes looking into yours.

All of a sudden; you’re caught off guard as he drops his cookie and pulls you into his arms, lips crashing onto yours. Your eyes go wide, taken aback before dropping your cookie and wrapping your arms around his neck, finally kissing him back.

The desperate kiss goes on for what feels like forever. Soon, you have to part in order to breathe. You just stare at each other, breathing heavily.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Tom says, breaking the silence.

“Me too,” you admit, making him smile.

Without skipping a beat, his lips are back on yours, kissing you eagerly. You immediately correspond this time, no longer afraid. Your hands go to caress his hair, lightly tugging on the soft curls, causing him to moan into your mouth. You take that as an opportunity to slip your tongue in, exploring his mouth. His tongue glides over yours, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your waist.

You suddenly feel a pool of wetness between your legs, making you squeeze your thighs together. Tom notices, lips separating from yours and smirking at you. You stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before his whole demeanour changed and he picked you up in his arms, carrying you to his bedroom.

The second he’d put you down and shut the door, his lips were attacking your neck, leaving hickeys all over. He led you to the bed, lightly pushing you down and landing on top of you.

“Y/N, do you want this?” He asked, his hand holding the seam of your shirt.

“Yes, please Tom,” you begged.

That was all he needed to hear, roughly pulling your shirt over your head. He let out a groan as he saw your black bra, hands immediately going to unclasp it. He kissed down your body, leaving marks along the way. Once he reached your shorts, he looked up at you, eyes searing yours for permission. You nodded, and that was all he needed, roughly pulling your shorts and panties down.

“So wet for me, baby,” he signed, his breath hitting your pussy which caused you to moan.

“Please, Tom.” You begged. You didn’t care if you sounded desperate, you needed him.

He sat there, looking at your pussy for a few, excruciating seconds, before taking you by surprise and diving his face right in. You moaned loudly, grasping his hair as his lips wrapped around your clit and began sucking harshly. You pulled on his hair lightly, making him moan which only furthered the sensation.

You were getting so close to the edge. He knew, and he took his mouth off of you. You were about to complain, but your words got cut off when his tongue dipped inside of you.

“Ohhh, fuck, Tom,” you gasped, his thumb rubbing your clit.

Your words only made him more determined as well as turned on. He starts flicking his tongue faster and rubbing your clit more harshly. Your loud moans filled the room as you came, your thighs squeezing his head.

After you’d calmed down from your high, he pulled out and looked up at you. You could see your juices all over his mouth and chin, making you horny all over again. He took the back of his hand and rubbed it on his face, getting everything off then licking it.

“God, you taste so good.” He said, making you groan.

“Come on, fuck me.”

“Gladly.”

He tugged his shirt off as well as his sweats, leaving only his boxers, which were covering a very obvious bulge. You bit your lower lip, eyes trained on his dick and you sat up, your hand going into his boxers. You pushed them down eagerly, his cock flying out and hitting his stomach.

He was hard, the tip red and leaking pre-cum. You wrapped your hand around him, making him moan softly when it moved up and down. He pushed you down and fell on top of you. You let out a soft moan when his lips attached to your nipple, his hand playing with the other one.

“Come on, Tom,” you begged, not caring if you sounded desperate.

He smirked at you as his lips detached from your chest. “You want my cock? You want me deep inside that pretty little pussy?” He purred in your ear, making you groan.

“Please,” you whimpered.

Tom smirked, lightly pushing into you, looking at you to make sure you’re comfortable. You nod, and he pulls almost the whole way out before slamming back in, your moan and his hiss filling the room. He picked up a pace slow, but firm.

“FUCK! Tom!” You moaned when he grazed your spot.

He picks up on that location, pounding into it over and over, your heart rate going up. His thumb goes to your clit, rubbing circles, making you scream, your walls clenching around him.

“Come on, Princess, come for me,” he groans, so close to his high.

That pushes you over the edge, making your juices cover him as you reach your high. Your orgasm triggers Tom’s, him groaning and hissing loudly as he fills you up.

You stay like that for a minute, coming down from your highs before he pulls out, lying down next to you.

“So,” you said “that just happened.”

“Yeah,” he says, still out of breath.

You scoot over, lying your head on his bare chest, lightly kissing it before resting your cheek on it. You stayed there in silence for a bit, before you finally spoke up.

“Do you think this can happen again?” You said hopefully.

“Yeah, if you want,” he kissed your head.

“Is this gonna be just…” you start, before he interrupts

“I hope not. But if you don’t want-”

“No no no, I do. I want it so much.”

“Good. Me too. I really want you, Y/N.”

“Likewise.”

You giggled. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss.

“Do you want to go get some cookies?” He asks.

“No, I’d rather taste you.” You tease.

——————

[gayoperatorgunclub]

For the ultimate ship meme, Lion and Doc? I'm sorry, I'm LionDoc trash-

it’s all good!! whenever someone sends in an ask, i get an excuse to talk/write about one of my interests! really, it makes me so happy to be able to create content that people hopefully enjoy!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - until the end of time, babey

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight but then they started talking i do think it was some form of ~interest~ in one another at first sight, but then all that drama and lack of communication happened so they didn’t really allow themselves to even dream about the possibility of a relationship. HOWEVER! once lion joined rainbow and they talked their shit out like people who know how to cope, there was a period of a few months that is now referred to as The Four Months of Pining™, during which glaz did a lot of paintings where the subject (who usually bears an uncanny resemblance to doc or lion) is staring at something (or someone) longingly. he calls it his french period. when they finally get together, a LOT of money changes hands. and goes straight into sledge’s pocket (he was the only one who bet that it would take them this long). diana gets a brand new collar (handmade), bed (handmade), dish (handmade), and many new toys (some handmade, some store-bought. sledge’s craftsmanship can only get him so far) 

How was their first kiss? - you know how the french are supposed to be super suave and confident??? and how gay people are trying their hardest but they’re just Not Good at things????? (i know these are stereotypes but stay with me). well, with their 5/8 french blood (i hc one of doc’s parents is fully algerian while the other is half french, half algerian), and their 4/4 gay blood, they have an 81.25% chance of success in matters of the heart. sadly, that 18.75% chance of failure came into play during this situation. picture it. doc and lion. romantic, home-cooked dinner. le festin is playing in the background. they’re holding hands over the table. suddenly, doc’s cat goes into labour. all hell breaks loose. lion is getting flashbacks to his son’s birth, so now he’s hyperventilating. doc carries him to the couch and turns on the fan so he can cool off and catch his breath, before carefully moving his cat, Rayie (arabic for gorgeous, pronounced rye-ah) to the living room in his handmade Birthing Box, then grabs a pile of blankets and a heat lamp and situates himself on the ground nearby so he can help her if she needs it. once the kittens are born (they’re twins!! Sadiqi is the boy, and Amirti is the girl!!!) doc makes sure they’re nice and warm and that Rayie is recovering, and gives her pets while she cleans her babies. once the happy family is all settled in for the night, doc walks over to the couch and just. lays down on top of lion. once he’s gotten over the adrenaline of the birth, he takes lion’s face in his hands and says “promise me you’ll be more calm if we ever decide to have kids” and gives him a BIG smooch while lion’s just short-circuiting like “does he know i have a son???? did i forget to mention my son?????? also what about these kittens??? are they not sufficiently childish to count as children????? DOES HE WANT KIDS????? does he want to marry me??????? wait why is he getting so clo-”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - lion. it was the day of their two year anniversary (yes i AM saying they got together the august after outbreak don’t @ me) and they were on vacation at doc’s family’s Secret Beach House. they were vibing on the balcony, watching the sunset, when lion suddenly clears his throat. doc turns to look at him and finds his boyfriend down on one knee, looking like he might flee to Bermuda. he’s reaching for something in his pocket. doc starts laughing. lion, completely misunderstanding his reaction, flushes and stammers out an apology. doc sees this, and immediately stops, though he’s still smiling gleefully as he catches lion by the biceps, then reaches into his own pocket and pulls the ring he was going to give olivier. they exchange rings, giggling like little kids, and spend the rest of the night making out on whatever surfaces are available. 

Who is the best man/men? - for lion? montagne. (his son is the ring bearer and doc’s niece is the flower girl). for doc? rook. he’s so happy he gets to participate in his dad’s wedding

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - for lion: finka. for doc: twitch

Who did the most planning? - both of them!! do you know how hard they worked to ensure the ceremony was valid in the eyes of both of their religions

Who stressed the most? - s e e  a b o v e

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - lion’s parents. they tried to call him during the reception but doc’s grandma grabbed his phone and started cussing them out, talking about dishonor and how they tried to disown him so they’re not his parents anymore, and besides, his new family absolutely adores him, so really, it’s their loss. once she hangs up, she pulls lion into a hug and he calls her his favorite, if only, grand-mère

Sex:

Who is on top? - who’s topping? lion. but sometimes doc gets bitchy so he gets to set the pace if you know what i mean

Who is the one to instigate things? - they are both lowkey horny 24/7 so 👀👀👀

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (only because they do get to see each other fairly often. if one goes on a long mission without the other, once they get back they will bump it up to a 10 real quick)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - idk long enough ig. maybe longer if someone feels they’ve been left ~unsatisfied~ they might go a few more rounds ;))

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ok it depends on what they’re doing but usually it’s one or two each, but on ~special~ occasions it’s either doc getting edged and denied for hours, OR doc getting forced to come over and over again until he’s begging for something, whether it be more or a goddamn break even he isn’t really sure. either way he’s crying and lion is consistently asking if he needs to safeword and otherwise checking in because they may like it rough but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - unless someone’s hormones and organs get fucked, zero

How many children will they adopt? - probably none?? idk they’ve already got lion’s son and they’re both busy enough with work so

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - NEITHER!!!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!!

Who is the stricter parent? - god i wanna say both. like lion and his attachment to rules??? but doc and his Mom Friend energy????? but ig lion BUT HE’S NOT STRICT TO THE POINT HE’S A BUZZKILL OR ANYTHING HE’S JUST RESPONSIBLE (he will NOT allow his husband and son to go vandalize the property of some islamaphobic brits, as much as he agrees with the sentiment) 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - doc will only allow vandalism if it’s in the name of righteousness. meaning, he’ll allow their son to spray paint the walls of a goddamn walmart with shit like “eat the rich” and a portrait of robespierre and a guillotine, but it is a HARD NO on defacing places like the library or community center (unless he has a good reason to do so). lion spends his time praying and making sure his son knows which acts of civil disobedience are acceptable and which are distorting their goal 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - doc. he (privately) dreams of retiring (eventually) and living out his lifelong dreams of being a househusband. so

Who is the more loved parent? - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS. but ig lion??? BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS KNOWN HIM LONGER. doc is half Dad and half Cool Uncle Who Gives Me Spray Paint And Tells Me To Make Myself Heard (to clarify, i know doc is a pacifist, but im kinda projecting my own sentiment of “we’ve tried to be peaceful but you wouldn’t give us the time of day. now that we’ve “acted out” we’ve gotten your attention, and rest assured, things are going to change.” he won’t hurt anybody, he’s just tired of having to be everyone’s “muslim friend” and educating people on things they could google themselves)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - it used to be lion out of necessity, but when people started asking about his “wife” he was really torn between telling them that he and his son’s mother separated, but now he has a partner and his son seems very happy about it. when doc finally attends a meeting with lion, people really struggle to hide their shock. a few clunky but well-meaning “we support you”’s and “we’re sorry for everything that’s been going on”’s later, doc has used his charm to make friends with literally everyone. from then on, he is on pta duty on behalf of lion and his ex

Who cried the most at graduation? - lion! his parents purposefully didn’t show at his, so it’s a big deal for him to show his son just how proud he is. doc tears up a little too, but manages to mostly keep it together so he can support lion, who spends most of the day heave-crying about how proud he is into his husband’s shoulder. gustave just pats him on the back and tells him that they’ll run out of donuts if they don’t get to the concession stand soon

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - doc. civil disobedience, baby!! he has never been caught. lion fears the law after his youth, so he tries to avoid any visits to law enforcement. he also can’t stand to see his son behind bars

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - doc. househusband, remember?

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - doc, but only because he can be a bit of a spice supremacist. he has to get his ingredients from these very specific farms and markets or else his great grandmother will begin manifesting in their house to curse them

Who does the grocery shopping? - doc, bc he does NOT trust lion to not just sweep all of the microwave ramen and kraft mac n cheese into the cart then sprint to self-checkout

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever possible. doc and maestro live by the philosophy “don’t do anything halfway” if they’re going to go through the trouble of making a meal, it will have multiple courses. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - doc is more of a salad eater but only for ease of consumption with halal laws. he adores filet mignon

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - lion! maestro enlists himself as assistant head chef after walking into the base’s kitchen one day to find lion covered in flour and lying facedown on the floor, crying

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also lion! though he’s memorized doc’s order at all of their favorite restaurants, so he usually just gets take out and puts on a big show of being a “tired housewife who works in the kitchen all day just for this one meal” and setting up the table so it’s all nice and romantic

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - lion. he tried crème brûlée once. never again 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - lion. organization is everything to this man. doc helps with laundry and such, but for the most part he leaves organization to lion and his systems (think leslie knope levels of planning and organization)

Who is really against chores? - neither! they both understand that teamwork makes the dream work, baby!!

Who cleans up after the pets? - doc, since lion’s already asked him which color hanger should represent “clothes i can tear off my husband before we fuck” and he needs a Moment

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither. they don’t own a broom

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - lion because of the deep-seated catholic urge to appear perfect in front of others, and doc because people will gossip, olivier!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - lion. he immediately called doc into the room and asked “is this your stash of drug money?” doc, who had been asleep because it was 3 in the morning on a saturday, just stares at him

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - it is so bold to assume they don’t shower together to “cut costs”

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lion is known in their neighborhood as the man who walks cats. there is a facebook page where people post pictures of him walking his cats. vigil is an admin

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - LITERALLY EVERY HOLIDAY GETS DECORATIONS. lion makes his own for the muslim holidays since there really aren’t many “of good quality” in stores. when they first started dating, doc came home to find his house covered in ramadan decorations, and lion standing precariously on a ladder, trying to string up fairy lights while learning how to pronounce important arabic words. needless to say, doc cries

What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual joy and contentment!!!! 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - doc. he’s sleepy

Who plays the most pranks? - lion, but they’re stupid ones like replacing certain pictures with danny devito. doc gets back at him by replacing pictures of jesus with ewan mcgregor, and putting yoda into his nativity scene. lion doesn’t notice

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 94

94

Lance had fled. The cow crapped in his living room and that was that. He’d made it very clear Matt and Rieva were to scrub the floor clean or they wouldn’t be joining them all for dinner. Pidge and Hunk had a few things to finish up as it was, provided they’d get over the hilarity of Matt and Rieva gifting him a stolen cow. Naturally Hunk didn’t find the cow theft itself funny, only the absurdity and randomness of their now being a cow in the house... which was kind of funny, because no normal person would “relocate” a cow.

The rest of his presents had been marginally better. Rieva proved to be an okay gift giver if you didn’t think about the cow. She’d gifted him non-relocated plants, herbs for his garden and cat grass for Blue. Clearly her idea and not Matt’s who’d given him a “voucher” to join them in bed if his heats got too much. He’s tried to throw it out, but Matt rescued it for “safe keeping because you never knew”. Hunk normally gifted him garlic knots and cookies, a standard and tasty gift, that didn’t happen this year now that Hunk knew he was a vampire. His poor ray of sunshine gifting him a voucher to a department store in Platt, seeming guilty over not knowing what to give him. Lance didn’t mind. It was a practical gift, and lately Rieva and Matt had been wearing off on him. His bed turning into a mound of blankets and cushions, Rieva teasing him about nesting. He didn’t know what nesting was, only that he felt safe in his mounded up bed and seeing it was his house, he could do as he pleased. Pidge declared herself the best gift giver ever. He loved his gremlin, but could only groan at her present. She’d brought him a “vampire hunting kit” online. She was so proud of herself, thinking it hilarious. Lance did not. Trust pop culture to get a hunting kit wrong. There was some major eye rolling at the polished wooden stake in the box... God only knew what was in the enclosed vials that came with the kit, probably dye and water... though the crucifixes were pretty, so that was nice.

Lance didn’t think about the next predicament of what to do now that’d arrived in Platt so early. Dinner wouldn’t be until 6:30pm, so he’d head over to the nursing home around 5pm to spend some quality time with his Mami. It was a little after 11am now, meaning he couldn’t head to VOLTRON given they’d all be getting ready for the mission and he’d be underfoot. That didn’t stop him from parking in front of the bookshop out of habit. With three spare hours, he wanted to see Keith so badly it hurt. Pulling out his phone, he nearly screamed when someone tapped on his window, Krolia all smiles as if she hadn’t taken 10 years off his undead life.

Rolling the window down, Lance wasn’t sure what to say to her. All plans to get her and Keith on the same page hadn’t eventuated. His boyfriend struggling so hard with figuring out how to feel about his mother. It sucked. Lance wanted to take all that pain away, but the only one who could do that was Krolia herself

“Keith hasn’t come in yet, if you’re looking for him”

No. His boyfriend was probably still at his apartment but Lance didn’t want to park up out the front and make a scene

“I was going to give him a call... see if he wanted to get lunch or something before the mission”

“So he told you? Oh... that’s right, it’s your birthday today... Why don’t I take you to lunch, my treat”

Ummm... what?

“You don’t have to go out of your way...”

Lunch with Krolia didn’t seem safe... He didn’t want to step on Keith’s toes, or meet with Krolia behind his back

“Nonsense. It’s no trouble at all”

“I should let Keith know...”

“He’s the reason I thought we should talk. I don’t want to make things complicated between you... but he won’t listen to me. I just want to know how my son is doing”

Lance knew he was fucked. His fierce love for his Mami, and his family, made it impossible to say no. If he was estranged from his Mami, he could picture her asking his friends about him

“You know I can’t say no to that”

Krolia did. Her smile hadn’t wavered at all

“Excellent. I’ll let you choose the place, you know this city better than I do”

Please lord don’t let him be murdered for this... by Keith or Krolia... maybe Krolia... yeah, he’d rather be murdered than cause a misunderstanding between him and Keith. Fuck. His Mami always told him to be polite... and his Mami had hit it off with Krolia...

“Jump in. I think I know a place”

Lance was still quietly hoping for murder as he and Krolia sat inside the dimly lit pub. It was the same place they’d come as a group after the others had learned his secret. The pub itself wasn’t that poorly lit, but he’d tried to pick somewhere kind of unnoticeable from the door. Sitting on one side of the booth, Krolia slid herself in on the other side, picking up the menu

“You look tense. Don’t worry about Keith”

He was pretty sure worrying about Keith was now a default setting, right up there with over thinking

“How can I not? I feel wrong meeting with you when he’s still trying work out his feelings”

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?”

Lance supposed it wasn’t as obvious to Krolia... in fact, she probably thought it was weird

“Very much. That’s why... I don’t want to get between the two of you”

“Keith has made it clear that he doesn’t want to know me”

What kind of crap was that?! Keith was dying to connect with Krolia

“That’s not true”

“Let’s go ahead and order. Do you... eat?”

“I can and I do”

“Excellent. Now, what’s deep fried and covered in grease?”

Lance ordered a salad, with a nonexistent appetite, it was something he could pick at. Krolia ordering a steak burger so raw the meat reminded him of his new cow... that wasn’t his cow and he was in no way attached to. Her plate loaded with fries, and her drink of choice a chocolate milkshake. Not what he expected

“Do you want a fry? You’re staring”

He didn’t mean to stare. No one told him that his birthday was going to take this unexpected turn

“I’m fine, thanks...”

“Then loosen up. You might be a stiff but don’t tell me you have a stiff sense of humour?”

“My sense of humour is fine. I’m just not sure what I’m doing here”

“I want to get to know the man my son’s dating”

“If you want me to break up with Keith, that’s his choice to make”

Krolia dipped a fry in her milkshake, sending drops flying as she shook it

“Whoa. Hold up. Okay. No. Keith is well and truly able to make his own choices... I’m making a mess of this”

He couldn’t talk to Krolia like she was a regular person. The Blades were all weird. He needed to remember Keith’s initial social weirdness and work around it

“No... no. I’m being cranky. I feel like I’m breaking Keith’s trust and it’s not a great a feeling. Your son... he’s amazing. He really is. He’s so smart and funny. He’s complicated and awkward, but he’s so... You’re missing out. He wants to know you, but he’s scared of being alone. He gets scared when he feels out of control and lashes out. Thinking that it’s better to push everyone away before they get to see how much he’s hurting. He gets lonely really easily. And he’s so sweet. Even if our first date was a bit weird, he’s always trying his best”

Lance gushed. Word vomit came easy when he thought of all the ways that made his boyfriend made him happy. Keith wasn’t a perfect human, he had many flaws, like his failure to work without coffee, but Lance wasn’t perfect either. That was the thing about love though. They both knew they weren’t perfect but together they were muddling through it, while working on themselves as they did

“Do you want to see something?”

Lance had no idea where that question was going

“Okay?”

Pulling out her wallet, Krolia passed it over. Lance taking the silent hint to open it. Finding a well worn piece of paper in the back, his fingers shook as he pulled his out. A happy family staring back at him. Krolia, so in love with her partner, a mother’s smile on her lips at Keith, bundled in his father’s arms

“We don’t keep a lot of personal items being Blade members. The newer generation does, but we’re all prepared to die. Every mission I’ve been on, that photos waited for me to come home to. Giving them up broke my heart. It took everything I had not to go back. I really thought Keith would have a better life if I wasn’t there”

“Have you shown him this?”

“No. He wouldn’t listen if I tried”

“Then you need to keep trying”

“Maybe...”

Whatever Krolia was thinking was wrong

“My family isn’t happy. I know what it’s like to have distance and it fucking sucks. Keith... he always feels like no one sees him as anyone other than your son or Shiro’s little brother. He wants... he wants to be accepted how he is and who he is. Krolia, he’s such a good man. He really is. I always kept a distance. I never ever thought something like me could have the love of someone as amazing as him. He wants to know about you. About his dad. What you like. How you became a Blade member. He wants to be closer to you. I shouldn’t be saying any of this because I don’t want to be in the middle of it, but I will always, always be on his side. I can’t forgive you if you hurt him. I can’t. I can’t even cope with him liking me because he’s just... he’s just Keith and he’s amazing how he is”

“I don’t know how to tell him. He was so cute as a child. He had this purple hippopotamus that he’d carry everywhere. His father couldn’t send me updates on him, but... He was the sweetest little thing. He loved that hippo so much. He loved riding on his dads shoulders... he... he was so cheeky, so happy... he’d probably hate the memory if he knew that hippo came from me. You know, his dad named him. I wanted to call him Yorak, but he wouldn’t have it. And I wouldn’t have Keith any other way”

Keith wouldn’t hate the memory. Any memory Krolia could share with him was a memory Keith had lost along the way. Krolia really did love Keith

“I know it’s old and cliche, but if you can’t find the words write them down. And this photo, this photo would bring him so much comfort. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know he’s lost most of the memories of his dad”

Krolia went silent for a bit. Lance had really meddled too much. He’d said more than he wanted to, and this meeting really was hurting his heart because he felt so guilty that Keith didn’t know about it

“Maybe”

Her reply didn’t give him much

“Can I call Keith? I really don’t feel comfortable”

“Yeah. I only really wanted a chance to meet you alone to see what you thought of Keith and if you were serious with dating him. He’s precious to me. Leaving him has broken me like nothing else ever has. Anything else is a bonus. I’m glad my son has someone who sees him... even if you’re old enough to be his father”

“Don’t remind me. I have no idea what he sees in me”

He was dead. Old. Grumpy and didn’t like crowds... he didn’t have much to offer

“I think I have some idea”

Shiro answered Keith’s phone, explaining that Keith was busy. Quickly Lance unloaded on him that he was at lunch with Krolia and wanted Keith to know so there wouldn’t be a misunderstanding. Shiro sounded surprised, then understandably nervous about telling Keith.

Half an hour passed before Curtis, Shiro, and Keith arrived at the pub. Keith ready to explode into a fit of rage

“What the hell?!? What do you think you’re doing?!”

Lance flinched. Yep. This was why he was scared of...

“I’m sorry...”

Huffily, Keith crossed his arms. Lance unable to look at him. He’d known this was wrong. He felt physically sick...

“I wasn’t talking to you. I know this had to be mum’s idea”

Krolia defending him had Lance sliding down in his chair

“Don’t be mad at him. The whole time he was here he wanted to call you”

“Maybe he should have done that to begin with, or maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped my fucking boyfriend”

“Babe...”

“No. I know you would have agreed because you’re too nice. I’ve been stressing all morning and now you’re having lunch with her”

Lance didn’t mean to turn on the waterworks. Keith was lashing out and every comment felt like a hit to the gut. All he’d really wanted was a nice simple day with Keith on his birthday

“Keith, I think that’s enough”

Placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder, Shiro seemed to know how Lance felt. He knew that Lance didn’t want to be here and how much it hurt to feel like he was betraying Keith

“I’m sorry... I know. I know. I didn’t want to be in the middle of you and your mum. I know I fucked up”

Sliding out the booth, Lance blindly pulled all the bills out his wallet, leaving them on the table before slipping past Keith. This was another bad birthday in a long line

“Lance”

Keith called his name softly, Lance looking at his boyfriend through a fresh wave of tears

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry I hurt you”

Once again he was fleeing... with absolutely no place to go other than to his Mami because he’d really done it this time.

*

Keith knew he was acting out. He knew and the words still came out. What was his mother thinking taking Lance to lunch like this?!

“This is the part where you’re supposed to go after him. He only met with me because I wanted to talk about you, and get to know him better”

“You had no right”

Yeah. Keith knew this. Lance couldn’t say no because he had a stupidly big heart. That’s what made him such an idiot crumpet. His boyfriend was trying to let them work this out for himself but Keith couldn’t.

Pushing her empty plate towards Lance’s barely poked at salad, Krolia twisted to face him properly

“What am I supposed to do when you keep shutting me out? I want to be in your life. I want to learn about you from you. I thought maybe we could have a nice lunch and talk. That’s all. That man seriously loves you. He said repeatedly he didn’t want to meddle and you should have heard how he talked about you. You need to go after him and apologise”

Like his mother would be the first one he’d listen too about relationship advice. He already knew he had to apologise. He didn’t need her telling him

“What would you know?”

“Because I know how devastating it is to miss your opportunity!”

Keith didn’t know what to say to that. Shiro’s hand was digging into his shoulder now. They all had regrets. Things said and left unsaid... He shouldn’t have blown up at Lance. He knew he shouldn’t have. Triply so on his boyfriend’s birthday

“I don’t know where he could have gone”

“He was parked in front of VOLTRON when I ran into him”

Keith shook his head at his mother

“Lance knows we have a mission today and wouldn’t want to be in the way”

“Where else would he go?”

“I talked to Pidge before and he wouldn’t be going back to Platt. Rieva and Matt stole a cow and Lance wasn’t happy at all over it”

So his boyfriend was already having a bad birthday before Keith made it worse

“Perhaps he went to Miriam? If he knew he couldn’t see Allura or Coran at the moment?”

Curtis was a genius. Lance had to be headed to see his Mami

“Shiro, I need your keys”

“I don’t know if I should let you drive...”

“Give me your keys or your collectables get tossed”

Shiro’s eyes went wide as he pulled away

“You wouldn’t. Not my limited collectables...”

Fuck the stupid things. He had to apologise for being a douche canoe

“I would for Lance. I need to... I need to see him”

Shiro pulled his keys out, passing them over

“Don’t forget you need to be at VOLTRON at one”

“I’ll be there”

As Shiro passed his keys over, his mother cheered him on

“Go get your man!”

*

Keith felt awkward about visiting the nursing home without Lance beside him. The staff kind of recognising that he’d been there, so all it took was a quick explanation before he was signed in and shown through to the garden area where Lance was cuddles up with his mother. This felt like a terrible idea on his behalf. Lance probably never wanted to talk to him again. He was so fucking good at ruining things. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Keith slowly walked over to the pair. Miriam holding Lance as Lance cried softly against her shoulder. Shit. What if Miriam hated him for making Lance cry? He hated him for making his boyfriend cry.

“Mijo, you have a visitor”

Miriam offered him something that wasn’t a smile, nor was it a frown. All Keith could describe it as was a “mum look”. Yeah. He’d fucked up, and she knew that he knew, and he knew she knew and now he was expected to do something about it

“Babe...”

Lance clung to his mother. Miriam sighing at him

“Mijo, you can’t ignore Keith”

“He wants to break up because I hurt him”

Miriam glanced at him around Lance

“That’s the clearest he’s been since he showed up. Would you like to explain what happened?”

Keith sighed. He really wanted to sit on the other side of Lance and cuddle him until he calmed down

“My psychotic mother kidnapped him for lunch and he was too nice to say no”

“Lunch sounds like a lovely idea”

Was Miriam messing with him, or did she think he and Krolia were suddenly going to besties

“It would be if it wasn’t my mother’s attempt at meddling”

Miriam smile fondly, moving her hand to pat the spot behind Lance

“It’s a mother’s job to meddle within reason...”

That was Miriam meddling. Sitting on the edge of the bench, Keith’s stomach was a pit of nerves as he rested his forehead against Lance’s shoulder, hand moving to rest just past Lance’s elbow

“I deserved to be punched in the dick”

Lance sniffled loudly, hiccuping as he wrestled his tears under control

“I don’t want to be in the middle. I want you two to work it out together. I know it was wrong... but she wanted to know if you’re okay... and I got to see a photo of your dad... she really fucking loves you and I don’t want to pressure you... and I don’t want you to keep fighting. I want you to be happy. Stupid Matt and Stupid Rieva stole a cow. Pidge dressed as a vampire. Hunk didn’t give me food because he thinks I don’t like eating normal food. You’ve got a mission. Our whole night was changed. And you were so mad at me”

That was a lot of “ands”. Lance didn’t seem to be having a good day at all, or everything he’d been trying to laugh off he couldn’t cope with now Keith had messed up. He was mad. Mad. Scared. Confused. Hurt. Betrayed. And a dozen different words that made his heart race at the sight of them together at the pub

“I was... am... I just don’t see why you’d go out to lunch with her, or why you didn’t tell me sooner. You can’t let her bully you”

Smooth. Real. Fucking. Smooth. Maybe he could go on his mission and just not return? Perhaps the ground would swallow him whole so stopped being such a dick?

Lance placed his hand over Keith’s, still talking at mami’s chest rather than Keith

“But she’s your mum. I... I want to know more about you and her. I’m 19 years older than you. I’m not cool, or hip, or rad, or whatever the word is these days... I know you hate having to talk everything out... and I know you both are awkward as hell... but you’re hurting and I hate it”

“That’s not your pain, babe”

“It is because it’s yours. I want to be the one you lean on, not the one you feel you have to keep secrets from. I know it’s hard for you, and I felt so rotten that I couldn’t tell you before we talked”

“I’m the one who overreacted. I know you’ve got a good heart and I shouldn’t have snapped. It really hurt seeing you able to talk with her”

“I could barely say anything right. Please don’t be mad. I told her if she can’t find the right words to say to write them down. It doesn’t make up for her leaving, and what she says isn’t my business. I’m not trying to force you to talk her. You’ve got to move at your own pace and be ready when you do”

Keith knew that. He knew Lance respected him enough to handle this on his own and that his boyfriend only wanted what was best for him. It was a little early, but he really wanted some time with Lance before the mission

“Mami, do you mind if I borrow Lance?”

“Heaven’s no. You two make up properly or neither of you get dessert tonight. I must say I’m looking forward to dinner”

“I hope you don’t mind. When I organised it, it was supposed to be just the three of us”

“Lance isn’t very good at handling his birthday... or his friends. Don’t worry about me, as long as you two work this out”

“We will. I’m sorry I upset him”

“Couples fight. Making up is the fun bit”

Lance snorted wetly, Keith didn’t know what kind of face to make when Mami was hinting at sex so openly

“Mami!”

“Go have a good time with your boyfriend. I’m very proud of you, Mijo. Happy birthday, my precious little boy”

“Mami, I’m 45”

“And you’ll always be my precious little boy. Go on. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with Keith”

Lance seemed lost as they walked back to where they’d parked, Keith finding a spot across from Lance. Almost shyly he asked

“What do you want to do?”

His boyfriend was too cute

“I’ve got the hotel key... I know it’s early, but I’ve still got time before the mission. It’s your birthday, and I really want to spend some time with you”

“You haven’t even said it”

“That’s because I’m waiting until we’re at the hotel. You want to lead and I’ll follow? You’re probably better at finding this place again...”

A smile finally crept across Lance’s lips

“You do have a habit of getting lost”

“Directionally misplaced. Get your phone out and I’ll send you the address”

“Sounds good... babe... I really am sorry”

Keith couldn’t not hold his boyfriend. Wrapping his arms around Lance, he melted into the hold

“I’m sorry too. There’s no excuse for how I acted”

“I get it... I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, babe”

[chaosride]

A Divine Appointment (x7)

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” — Franklin P. Jones

Their next weekly Wicked Grace night was interesting. Anders had tried to beg off with the reasoning of not wanting to leave the kids alone all night at the clinic, and Varric had easily told him to bring the kids with him. Anders had expected Norah to run them off, as the owner had made it clear that the Hanged Man was a place for drinking and gambling. However that night Norah had just waved them through towards the stairs to Varric’s quarters. At Anders’ questioning look, Norah shrugged.

“New management,” was all she told him.

It was really all the explanation needed; the Hanged Man changed hands so often between the shadier figures of Kirkwall’s underground that they were under new management every other week it seemed. It was something that made Varric rhapsodize about how the Hanged Man deserved a better owner, someone who knew what they were doing and deserved her. It was no secret that the someone the dwarf had in mind was himself. Anders hoped he wouldn’t be too irritable about it tonight- it made him ruthless in cards.

Varric, however, was cheerful as ever when they got to his room. Hawke, Fenris and Isabela were already there. Aveline was going to come later after her patrol and had asked to bring Donnic along. They chatted as Anders settled at the table with them, allowing the twins to sit in his lap when neither would tolerate being put down. He rolled his eyes as Isabela cooed at them but allowed Cahir to go to her regardless. Primarily because he knew who the boy was really wanting to go to. He chuckled when Isabela called Cahir a traitor when he immediately began squirming in her hold, trying to get to Fenris. The elf let out a very put upon sigh but he was smiling when he took Cahir from her.

“You are very determined, I’ll give you that,” Fenris told Cahir.

The boy had settled down once in Fenris’ lap. Anders determinedly did not stare at them together; Cahir was skittish and didn’t like to be held by many people. He sought out even fewer as actively as he went to Fenris anytime the warrior was around. The sight of them made Anders want things to be different, despite the fact that he had more than he ever expected to. So instead he determinedly pulled the tie free from Cat’s hair and rebraided her curly red hair so it was away from her little face. Anders had learned if he didn’t she would pull at it until it came out in clumps in her small fists.

The mage had worried that the kids would get bored, but he supposed he should have known better. The entire group had learned to sit still and entertain themselves in order to avoid unneeded attention. Even the twins, young as they were, seemed to have learned it, sitting quietly with them at the table and watching them play with curious eyes. Tanner, Rosalyn and Bree had settled on the open stretch of floor a little away from the table, talking quietly amongst themselves as they played some game they had created with pebbles Tanner had produced from his pocket. Raelnor had sat with them at the table at Hawke’s merry invitation for him to join the game.

Anders had thought the entire walk over that he should bring something for them to do but he didn’t have anything. At the clinic they normally chased each other around or played games together but unlike other children they didn’t get loud or unruly without his attention on them really. The older of the kids had become quite adept at entertaining their younger siblings when no adults were around to mind the toddlers, and with them occupied were happy to sit quietly together all evening.

In the end they hadn’t even made it through an entire round before it clearly bothered Varric too much to continue. He laid his cards down despite it being his turn and stood up.

“Y’know, I got a cousin who owns a toy shop, I’m sure I’ve got some of his stuff around here,” he had said.

To anyone who didn’t know him, it would have been a convincing lie but Anders knew there wasn’t a single member of Varric’s family with any such business. The lie was confirmed with how quickly the rogue located the box of toys he presented to the children to go through. Raelnor was watching him with the same puzzled face he used to direct at Anders; bafflement at someone doing them a kindness with no expectation of anything in return.

Bree, the sweetheart that she was, had brought over a small selection of toys for the twins to choose from, showing first Cat then Cahir the ones she had thought they would like. Cahir had latched onto a small rattle drum which he clumsily waved until Fenris gently corrected his grip and showed him how to roll it between his palms to make the small beads hit the drum more consistently. Cat’s choice had been a carved wooden horse with wings and little wheels attached to its hooves. As she rolled it back and forth on the table in front of him, Anders resigned himself to picking it up a thousand times throughout the night as she lost her grip on it. Once content that the twins had gotten something as well, Bree returned to Tanner and Rosalyn. The dwarven boy was showing Rosalyn how to make the top spin with a practiced hand, and gave a proud grin when the girls exclaimed at how long he got it to spin.

Pleased with himself, Varric retook his seat and took his turn. He shrugged his shoulders amicably at Anders’ knowing look without a hint of shame. The healer wasn’t going to complain; he knew the kids needed toys, they just weren’t expenses he could afford. Technically he couldn’t afford to feed himself and seven kids but he was making it work. Mostly.

“So, you had any luck?” Hawke asked Raelnor, who had been sullenly studying his cards.

Raelnor had been moody and temperamental since he had lost his job at the docks. Burgess had been upset that Fenris had interrupted the fights. He had even accused Raelnor of setting him up since someone had massively outbid him at the last moment before the fights and took the entire betting pool in result.

Raelnor had pointed out that he didn’t exactly have the money to place a big enough bet to more than double Burgess’ bet, which was what it would have taken for the mystery gambler to take all the winnings from the betting rather than just a portion. He had bit his tongue to avoid mentioning that without Burgess setting the rule of the whole pot going to the top bet if it was more than twice the second highest bet to benefit himself, he wouldn’t have lost everything. Of course, he had been correct but it hadn’t helped him keep his job.

Anders couldn’t blame his sour mood- Raelnor had spent years knowing he had to make money for any of them to survive, the only one besides Delilah remotely old enough to work a regular job.  Every person that turned him away was a personal failure to Raelnor, no matter how Anders told him they would figure it out. The assurance that there were people around now who would make sure the kids didn’t starve only served to make the teenager complain of feeling useless, like deadweight.

Anders mourned the childhood the boy had clearly given up in favor of caring for the younger children. He wished he could tell Raelnor not to worry about money or finding another job even as he knew logically they needed the extra income for food and necessities for the kids.

“Nothing yet. The only place willing to hire Fereldans, much less one as young as me, is the Bone Pit-”

“I would rather pay to not have to go there,” Varric said.

“Bad news, that place,” Isabela agreed.

“Yeah, don’t take that,” Hawke told him.

“But my overbearing mum told me I would not be working there under any circumstances,” Raelnor finished. He scowled at his hand of cards and set it down face up to show he was folding.

“Yes I did,” Anders told him. “I would rather you not be turned into mincemeat by giant spiders or blighted dragons, Rae,” he began, which the boy waved away dismissively. It was an argument they had revisited a few times since the subject came up.

“Yeah, yeah, like I said mum here said I couldn’t take that one so I’m still looking.”

“Well, that’s good, then,” Varric told Raenor. “It would mean you can’t come to work for me. Think you can handle serving food during the day here?”

“What? You can’t seriously be offering to pay me to come run and tote for you all day.”

“Well, Norah works nights here and they’re going to start serving more meals during the day.”

“Ah, Varric, I know you basically run it but I don’t think you can just offer him a job here.”

The dwarf grinned, the kind he only wore when he was especially proud of whatever trickery he had managed. Usually when one upping petty criminals or raining fire on unsuspecting enemies with Bianca from the backlines.

“Oh, I didn’t mention? I recently came into possession of a little something that gives me a bit more say about what happens here than before.”

Oh, Anders thought, remembering the look Norah had given him earlier when he came in with the children.

“You’re the new management.”

“Aw Blondie, why did you have to steal my thunder? I wanted to deliver it all dramatically,” Varric pouted. When Anders just raised an eyebrow he chuckled and confirmed, “yeah, I’m the new management.”

“Good on you Varric!” Hawke praised.

“Now you can stop bringing it up to Aveline,” Fenris said.

“I know, she was no help.”

“You’re who out bet Burgess,” Raelnor realized.

“The bookie who he had working the fights is an old friend of mine, he was happy to tell me how much he bet and lied about who I betted for. Figured he wouldn’t give you a fair cut even if you did take the dive for him. Sorry if I caused any trouble for you, kid.”

For the first time since being fired, Raelnor’s laugh was raucous and sincere.

“He only scheduled me for that fight because he figured he would kill me. Fuck that blighted nug-”

“Rae, language,” Anders scolded, mainly because all of the younger kids would no doubt repeat what he said, all eager to emulate their older brother. He tried to ignore how Fenris stifled his chortle into his drink he had been raising to his lips.

“Sorry, mum,” Raelnor said, still beaming. Varric winked at him.

“Can you start tomorrow at noon?”

“Yes sir!”

“Good to hear, you’ve got the job, on one condition.”

Raelnor hesitated, his eyes flicking to Anders then Fenris and back to Varric.

“Which is?” he asked nervously.

“No more fighting for money.”

“Done,” Raelnor said immediately. He had already promised Anders (and a tearful Bree) the same thing the morning after his last fight.

“Alright, I’ll show you around tomorrow. Welcome aboard.”

“Anders, we found one of your kids on our patrol,” Aveline called as soon as she and Donnic arrived. Delilah waved at them meekly at the mage when she followed the guardswoman in, Donnic bringing up the rear.

“I thought you were staying at the Rose tonight?” Anders asked her.

Delilah had a bunk there along with some of the other girls where she usually stayed after her shift. She would usually come to the clinic around midmorning to spend time with the kids, taking them out into town or bringing them odds and ends she thought they needed. She had been steadfastly stubborn about not needing anything, to give to the kids instead.

“I changed my mind, was hoping you wouldn’t mind me bunking with the kids tonight. I was fine waiting at the clinic but, uh,” she floundered, and looked at the guard-captain.

“Aveline,” the redheaded woman provided kindly, smiling. “I insisted.”

“Thanks Aveline. Delilah, you can stay whenever you like,” Anders told her.

“You know how to play Wicked Grace?” Isabela asked her.

“Boy, do I.”

---

Delilah continued to stay her nights at the clinic once she was off work. Working at the Blooming Rose usually meant she crept in during the early morning hours. The first few days she looked surprised to find that Anders had waited up for her, but after a few times she seemed to grow used to it. They had established a tradition of sorts; Anders would stop working on his manifesto for the evening when she arrived and they would brew tea and discuss their days before both going to bed.

It was a nice routine, and Anders hadn’t had quite enough of those in his life. Delilah had been very polite and distant at the start, even offering to pay Anders for watching the children. He was just glad she seemed to be warming up to him.

She seemed extra tired tonight though. It was later than she normally got home and Delilah was walking favoring one leg. Anders had noticed that something seemed to be going on with her; something that had made her stop feeling safe enough to sleep at the Rose and jump at corners. He wasn’t sure it was his place to push her though. The other children had been all but officially adopted as his charges. Even Raelnor had come around.

“Sorry, healer, you didn’t have to wait up for me,” she told him softly.

“I didn’t even realize how late it was,” Anders lied. “Here, come sit down and I’ll make us some tea.”

Her smile was weak but sincere. Anders put the lid on his inkwell (improvised, a necessity with kids running around and bumping into the desk) and put his work and quill away. He gave his knee a brisk rub before he got up. From how it and his elbow ached, it was going to storm soon. Delilah watched him as he gathered the tea pot and filled it with water.

“Healer, I can do it,” she said, getting up.

Anders flapped a hand at her and continued with making tea. Rather than the normal tea he normally made, he dug out the last of the mix he had made to help with pain. It was a little bitter but it did the trick. He winced when he stepped wrong and felt the bolt of pain shoot all the way up through his hip.

“Healer,” Delilah protested but Anders was already leveraging himself to sit in his chair in front of the fire beside her, the water coming to boil hanging in the fireplace.

“How many times have I told you to just call me Anders?”

“It just feels weird,” Delilah admitted.

Anders rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Delilah had tried to call him messere or serah at first but he had finally got her to stop doing that. Maybe one day she would refer to him by something other than a title but every step closer felt nice regardless.

“Guess you could be calling me mum instead,” Anders conceded.

Delilah giggled and glanced towards the back of the clinic where the rest of the kids were resting. Her expression was fond, if not a touch sad. She got up to get the teapot from its hook before Anders could once the water inside could be heard boiling. Delilah poured their cups with a practiced hand and set the tea in it to steep.

“Sorry if that bothers you,” she told him once she had sat back down. “Rae means it in a good way. His dad was terrible and wasn’t around much but he had his mum, even if she spent more time drinking and wailing on him than taking care of him. She’s basically his only concept of a parent, he probably never even considered calling you anything else. He just calls his dad William.”

“It doesn’t bother me. My father… wasn’t the best, usually so I understand that,” Anders admitted. He picked up his cup but didn’t drink from it, content to let its warmth leech into his hands.

“What… ah, you can tell me if it’s out of bound, but what was it like growing up?”

She asked so hesitantly that Anders found that he wanted to answer more than he wished to avoid thinking about his parents or the life he had had, all those years ago. Usually remembering it made him feel lonely and like he was twelve years old again, cut loose and thrown to the wolves.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-” Delilah began to backtrack, her dark brows furrowed.

“No, sorry, it’s fine. I’m an only child, my parents moved out of the Anderfels to a small Fereldan village when I was very young, and we had a farm there. My mother was a caring soul, and she wanted more children but couldn’t have them. My dad was from a large family that was mainly still scattered all over the Anderfels. He was… bitter a lot because he was homesick. I remember I tried to learn his native language, and called him Táta when I was younger. I thought maybe it would make it… easier. It would be something special we shared, like my ma teaching me about healing. Eventually he told me to stop calling him that and just call him father. I think I disappointed him. His only son, flamboyant and more interested in cats and my mother’s garden of herbs than anything he considered boyish. He was the one who turned me into the Templars. I guess I should have just been happy that I had evaded the Circle as long as I had.”

Anders took a sip of his tea even though it was still much too hot for his taste. It helped force down the knot in his throat even if he still felt a bit like crying. He always felt like this when discussing his father; wistful for what could have been, if Anders hadn’t been so… Anders, shamed that he had not been enough for his own father, mournful and angry in equal measures with the cold, distant man who had wanted to love him so badly. His father had been sad under it all, plagued by darkness Anders could not have understood. More than once as a child when he had gone to his father in search of affection or comfort and had been turned away. Anders had sworn he would be a better father. As he had grown, Anders realized that perhaps his own father was a sign he shouldn’t be one himself. He often drowned in his own feelings of helplessness and desolation, he didn’t want to risk a child suffering for it.

Delilah reached to him and carefully tugged one hand from his cup to fold in her own.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. For him to turn you in, Maker it’s awful,” she whispered. “I was lucky in some ways I think, since I never knew who my da was. I was just another brothel brat, and all the girls looked after all of us kids as their own.”

“Is that how you and the kids found each other?”

She shook her head, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Our village avoided the worst of the blight, it was kind of out of the way, but a horde of Darkspawn were pushing in. The… Andraste, some of the villagers got the idea that if they locked the gate from the alienage to the rest of the city and set it on fire, everyone running out the other gate onto the road into the village would draw the Darkspawn that way and they could defend the village.”

“Did it work?”

“I didn’t stick around to find out. I just remember seeing some of the kids running and jumped the gate. Raelnor and I grew up together and he followed me over when he saw me go. We saved what kids we could and ran. Bree and Rosalyn ended up staying with us, we were going to get them to safety but that… didn’t end up happening. We met Tanner when we were passing through Denerim. He asked for help because he didn’t know where to get milk that was safe for babies to drink. The twins had been abandoned outside the local chantry with a note that just had their names. But the chantry didn’t have space for babies or the resources, especially after how hard the blight had hit them and Tanner… he refused to leave the twins even when everyone else in his travelling party moved on. They told him they didn’t have the money to take care of them so he stayed and did it, as best as he could. His parents were killed by Darkspawn, he ended up with other refugees from his village. In the end, we wound up on a boat here looking for some of the people he had been travelling with who said they were coming to Kirkwall but we never found them. Everything else is kinda history I guess,” she shrugged. “I know a lot of people think I’m stupid for staying here and taking care of them but I couldn’t just leave them. We’re a family now, after everything.”

Anders smiled and squeezed her hand. “Yes, you are a family. All those who think you’re stupid are the dumb ones. It’s admirable to do for others with no ulterior motive. You have a good heart, Delilah.”

She blushed and looked away from him.

“I wasn’t thinking about anything other than how little they were. Bree was so small then. I mean, she’s still small but she was tiny. I picked her up and she weighed basically nothing. I just… couldn’t stand by and watch it happen. I wasn’t trying to be a good person, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to them.”

“Because you’re a good person, sweetheart,” Anders told her.

She smiled some to herself before carefully pulling her hand back and taking to her own tea. They finished their drinks together, the silence comfortable and contemplative. The warmth from the tea seemed to fill him at his core and slowly the pain ebbed away. He hadn’t even realized the heat of the fire on his skin and the familiar hissing crackle had lulled him into a light doze until he felt Delilah’s lips touch his forehead.

“Night, ta, thank you,” she murmured before creeping away.

He listened to her as she got things settled before slipping back into their sectioned off sleeping area, a smile he couldn’t fight off gracing his face. The healer had planned to get up and bank the fire before turning in for the night himself. Instead when he awoke it was the Cat squealing in joy the next morning. Someone had covered him with a blanket and couldn’t even be upset about being woken up when Tanner was so apologetic about it. His kids were worth more than any amount of missed sleep.

---

It was inevitable that Hawke would need him for an overnight trip. She had agreed to look into demons that were coming from one of the caves near where the Sabrae clan had set up. With how long of a trek it was, they had never managed to make it back before nightfall and always had to make camp along the path back. But Hawke wanted a healer along with them and Anders needed some of the rarer herbs that only flourished on Sundermount.

Of course, that didn’t make it any easier to leave the children. He had given Rosalyn the key to the clinic so they could lock up if they left and had told them where to leave it when they went to bed so Delilah could get in. He had asked Varric to check on them and even accepted Aveline’s offer for Donnic to swing by during his patrol to make sure they were alright as well. He had made sure Tanner and Rosalyn knew where they kept the extra coin stashed in case they needed it. None of it eased the anxiety of leaving them to fend for themselves without him.

“Go, ta, we got it,” Tanner had assured him when he mentioned telling Hawke he would send her with extra healing potions, that he just couldn’t go overnight. He considered asking about the new nickname the kids (except Raelnor) had adopted for him but let it slide. At least they had stopped just calling him healer.

Varric knocked on Fenris’ door in the late afternoon. When he first saw Varric waiting for him his heart had rabbitted in his chest, sure that something was wrong. He couldn’t think of another reason for the rogue to come calling for him when Hawke was out of town for the night.

“What’s happened?” he asked immediately.

Varric chortled at him and raised his hands in a soothing gesture.

“Calm down Broody, there’s no fire. I just figured since I’m going to check on your children you should come along,” the dwarf cajoled.

“They’re not my children, they’re the mage’s children,” Fenris answered, but stepped out of the mansion to follow him regardless. He hadn’t even considered the logistics of where the children would be while Anders was away. Just another reason they weren’t his children; he wasn’t suited to looking after others.

“Whatever you say, elf.”

Fenris had expected they would go to the clinic and find the children inside, or perhaps playing on the landing just in front of it as they often did. They met Donnic coming down from Lowtown, apparently given the same task as them by his wife. The man didn’t look too put out by it though, laughing and joking with them as they made their way through the slums.

Rather than the sound of Rosalyn’s distinct tinkling laughter or Bree shouting or even one of the twin’s excited baby talk, there was the sound of a child crying. Fenris heard it first and took off in a run, hearing Varric’s surprised shout at his sudden departure and the clattering of Donnic’s armor as he hurried to catch up.

When he rounded the corner, his heart calmed some to see all five of the younger children sitting against the wall just outside the clinic’s doors. Rosalyn’s face was buried in her knees as she wailed, Tanner rubbing her back with a contrite expression.

Cahir was the first to notice Fenris approaching and called out, “Da!” to him excitedly just as Donnic and Varric rounded the corner. Varric complained about how fast he was when they caught, practically panting. Fenris made a note to tease the dwarf about being out of shape later.

Once he knew what was wrong with his kids. The mage’s kids, he meant.

“What’s wrong?” Fenris asked Rosalyn when she looked up at him with wet eyes.

Her face scrunched up again before she could speak and she let out a small hiccuping sob. The warrior found himself wrong footed and unsure how to proceed; danger and fighting were more his forte, crying girls and children not so much. He wasn’t sure what to say to calm her but clearly she was upset and needed something. Fenris would have given her anything to wipe away her devastated expression.

“It’s okay,” he said gently. “Tell me what has happened and I will do what I can to rectify it.”

“T-the healer gave me the k-key to hold onto but I lost,” she choked out before sniffling miserably. “It’s his only one, he’s going to be so mad. He told me he was giving it to me because he t-trusted me with it and-” she sobbed again.

“Well that’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Donnic told her.

Rosalyn looked up at the guardsman.

“B-but I lost it, and…”

“No one’s hurt or dying, the sky isn’t falling, the clinic isn’t on fire, and all of you are together,” Donnic told her in a calm voice. He knelt and ruffled her hair.

“If you know about where you lost it we can ask around and see if anyone found it, if not we can retrace your steps and look for it,” Fenris offered when she looked at him.

“Even if someone did pick it up they would have no way to know which door in the city it opened,” Varric agreed. “Not to mention I can just pick the lock to let you in and replace the lock.”

“Oh! We know right where it is we just can’t… uh… get to it,” Bree told them. “You’ll help us, right da?”

Fenris looked to Varric and Donnic, unsure who the girl was addressing only to find them both aiming what Fenris could only describe as shit-eating grins at him. Oh, she means me, he recognized. Looked like he would probably be best keeping his taunts about Varric’s stamina to himself for a bit.

"Yes, we'll help you," he told Bree, already resigned to his fate.

“How ?”

Fenris felt a little bad for his incredulous tone when Rosalyn hiccuped and sniffled behind him but really how she had managed to drop the key where she had eluded Fenris. Over a wall and down the side of the steep rock Kirkwall was built into and on top of, of all things. The kids hadn’t been wrong; they had taken them straight to the key. It taunted them from a jutting section of wall built out to take the brunt of the waves that crashed against Kirkwall’s walls. Occasionally the light winked off it whenever the clouds weren’t hiding the slowly setting sun.

“Cahir saw a bird,” she offered meekly.

All three of the adults stepped away from the low wall they had been leaning over to peer down at the key to turn and look at her more fully. Ironically they were within eyesight of the clinic’s door still.

“Cahir… saw a bird…” Fenris repeated slowly, feeling his eyebrow raise in question against his will.

“He’s been fussy all day and didn’t want to be carried, but if we let him down he ran off. There was a bird here, and he saw it and tried to grab it. Tanner was holding him but he was so wriggly that when he jumped Tanner couldn’t catch him. I did but I forgot… I forgot I was holding the key and it flew out of my hand. I just panicked! I… the spikes, and no one else was close- I had-”

“I see,” Fenris said, nodding. “Things happen, we will figure it out. Cahir is more important than the key,” and he didn’t even want to imagine the boy managing to land on the rusty spikes that lined the outer half walls of Darktown’s walkways.

“Told you,” Tanner told her, “Cahir would have gotten really hurt, I knew they would listen and not be mad, Ros.”

“No, you didn’t, you just said we might as well tell the truth because they would find out.”

“Shh,” the dwarven boy said but wouldn’t look at any of them. “You could have told them I dropped it, I told you.”

“No one’s in trouble,” Fenris assured. “We just have to find a way to get the key now, alright?”

They weren’t going to be able to get the key. It was too far down with no real path to get to it. The three men had stood for a long time discussing ways of getting it before they had given up on the idea. They had discussed trying to hook with something or even getting a boat and going at it from the water. In the end, none of their ideas got them any closer to the elusive key. They had nothing that they would use with any accuracy to snag it and pull it back up, and any boat they would have been smashed agaisnt the rocks around the outcropping of rocks. Their plan of picking the lock itself and simply replacing it was dashed too as one by one Varric broke every lockpick he had in it, growling and cursing the entire time.

“If we got some rope one of us could rappel down to it,” Varric suggested.

“Are you going to go down after it?”

“I know us dwarves are small but we’re dense. There’s no way I would get down without falling, not to mention back up. Donnic? Dashing rescues are supposed to be your thing, just pop on down and grab the key.”

“I’m in full plate armor, I’m pretty sure the rope would snap if I tried. Fenris could go, he’s the lightest of us.”

“I’m able to pass through solid objects, not scale vertical walls,” Fenris informed them drolly when both the rogue and the guardsman looked to him. They stood in silence for a moment and Fenris glanced back at the clinic door. “I can kick that door down though.”

Varric considered it for a moment, tapping his index finger on his chin contemplatively.

“I got a guy that can replace it today,” he agreed.

Donnic perked up. “We have spare locks at the Keep we can install. They’re replacements for the ones on the main entrance to the Keep, so they’re sturdy. And come with more than one key.”

“Okay, so new plan,” Varric said and clapped his hands before giving out orders.

The new door looked almost too nice as it set into its new frame, out of place in dingy Darktown, but there was no questioning it was sturdy. Much more secure than the one Anders had had previous, and could be locked from the inside instead of just the outside, unlike its predecessor. To lock up for the night, Anders had rigged some kind of bar and chain across the door from the inside.

“Sorry about all the trouble,” Rosalyn told them all over dinner. Donnic had left to finish his patrol after helping them install the new lock but had returned for supper and had even brought sweets back for the children to have for dessert. They had all been ecstatic when presented with them, something Fenris made a note to bring them more of.

“We’ve been harping Blondie to change that door for months,” Varric dismissed, “really I should be thanking you for giving me a reason to just take care of it.”

Rosalyn smiled some down at her food and allowed Bree to pull her into whatever the kids were discussing so seriously. Fenris half listened to them, mainly happy that they were all at ease again and there were no more tears.

“Oh, were you two there when Aveline said something to Isabela about the dinner party? She was pretty hurt about her not coming and said she told her about it but I’m not sure I believe her. You know Ave,” Donnic asked them once it was clear the children were absorbed in their own discussion.

Varric snorted. “Oh man were we. Your wife can be ruthless, told Bela that if you two ever had kids together who asked what a slattern was, she’d just point at her and tell them ‘that’s a slattern.’ In the middle of Hightown.”

Donnic’s laugh was startled and boomed out of him.

“Yeah, that sounds like her,” he agreed.

“What’s a slattern?” Bree asked innocently, her head cocked to the side.

“Uh, nothing you need to worry about,” Varric said at the same time Donnic said “you’ll find out when you’re older.”

Both answers just made Bree pout but she dropped it anyway. Fenris hoped she didn’t ask Anders about the word later, as the mage had been persistent about them not cussing around the children. Evidently hearing Tanner call something “absolute blighted nugshit” had been a bit of a wake up call to how much they listened and repeated what the adults said.

After dinner, Varric had said his goodbyes and mentioned he would send Raelnor home with his own key once he got back to the Hanged Man. The boy had been enjoying his new job, especially since he got tips on top of his hourly wages. Donnic mentioned that he had to get home to clean before Aveline got back the next day. Before long it was just Fenris and the children. The elf was tidying up the clinic and trying to convince himself to leave for the night as well when Bree tugged on his shirt.

“Will you stay tonight, da?” she asked him. He wanted to dissuade her from calling him that but couldn’t bear to say anything when she was looking at him with wide earnest eyes. “Please?”

“Yes, fine, but you need to start getting ready for bed. It’s getting late.”

“Okay but you have to tuck me in!”

Bree grinned and scurried away to do as he said without waiting for an answer. Fenris sighed and surveyed the cots available to sleep on for the night. He supposed he should have guessed that he wouldn’t have the heart to return the mansion and leave them alone for the evening. He was just starting to put bedding on one when Raelnor came in and regarding him with a confused face.

“Just sleep in mum’s bed, it’s not like he’ll mind,” he had told Fenris, “those cots are tiny, you’ll never sleep on ‘em comfortably.”

“Da! I’m ready for bed, come tuck me in?” Bree interrupted. She tugged at his hand and Fenris followed her back to the children’s makeshift room, Raelnor’s chuckle following him as the teenager sat at their little table with his own dinner.

Rosalyn was sitting on the edge of the twins’ cot with a book open in her hands. She looked at him in surprise when he came in.

“Da’s tucking us in tonight,” Bree informed them and clambered into her own cot.

“Oh, did you want to read to us then?” Rosalyn offered, and held out the book. It looked well worn with it’s yellowing pages and cracked spine.

“Sorry, I can’t,” he told her.

“O-oh, right, sorry. We’re not your kids, um, everyone say goodnight and thank you,” she said even as her little voice wobbled with tears at being turned away. Fenris laid a hand on her skinny shoulder even as he refused to look at any of them.

“I wouldn’t mind reading to you, I just… can’t. I can’t read,” he admitted, something he had taken pains for even his friends to not know coming out easy when he knew it would comfort the girl. “I will stay and listen though, and I believe I did promise to tuck everyone in.”

He settled down in the rickety chair that was undoubtedly there for Anders to sit in and read to them nightly. Fenris wondered what he sounded like, reading to the children every night. With his expressive face and array of voices, Fenris imagined Anders was a good storyteller for children’s stories.

Rosalyn read a chapter to them from the book, something about a princess escaping a curse from what Fenris caught. The twins were asleep by the end of the first page, and when Rosalyn softly closed the book Fenris looked around and realized that all of the younger kids were out like lights. He tugged Bree’s blanket up to her chin, tucked Tanner’s more firmly around his feet and made sure the twins were not at risk of rolling out of their bed in the middle of the night while Rosalyn extinguished their lantern.

“I can teach you,” Rosalyn whispered to him as she got into her own bed, the book safely put away with a small collection of other books and toys shoved into the corner. “How to read, I mean. I used to teach the kids in the alienage, and some of their parents too. If you want, it’s okay if not, you may want someone else to teach you or-”

“Ros,” Fenris said to get her attention. He knelt beside her cot and brushed her hair back from her worried face. “That sounds very nice, thank you. I would love for you to teach me.”

If I am teachable, Fenris bit back. Rosalyn smiled at him and laid down. He settled her blanket around her shoulders and smoothed her hair back before standing and sliding out from behind the curtain.

Raelnor had put away the bedding he had set out on the cot and jerked his thumb at the door to Anders’ cupboard of a room. He didn’t go back to his cot with his siblings until Fenris had slipped into it and abandoned the thought of sleeping out on the cot.

“What happened ?” Anders asked as soon as he saw the new door the next day.

“Cahir saw a bird,” Bree told him sagely. Around her the other children nodded with serious expressions on their little faces and Anders could only sigh. At least the clinic was cleaner than it was when he left, he supposed.

(leave kudos and comments here please ♥)

[lo-55]

Shattered Chains or Fate Ch. 6

Isle of Towers, Glass, and Stone

     The answers might lie within.  

   Great. Now the problem is, how does he find those answers at all? How does he go ‘within’ when most of the time he’s going ‘outside’ of his body. Projecting his soul was one thing. He’d done it a dozen times, if not more. Going inside of it? Or his mind? Or whatever within the cryptic asshole of a mage had suggested, was a totally different matter.

   “Fucking everyone’s so damn cryptic all the time,” Ichigo scowled, pacing around the house. The cat was still there, watching him with her tail twitching back and forth.

 Ichigo still doesn’t know who she’s working for.

   There’s about three mage families in the country that are prominent. Tohsaka’s work with gems, the Matou are mostly fallen, and he doesn’t know anything about the other one. Ichigo should probably be more concerned, but he’s got bigger things to worry about right now.

   Mainly, figuring out how to find his answers on the inside.

   Inside.

   Ichigo kept walking in circles, trying to figure it out. Over and over, he walked around and around. In a spiral.

   Finally he sat hard on the floor and leaned back.

   Jeanne would pray. But she was guided by a god, and an Agent of Counterforce (or some approximation of it).  Sanzang followed the voice of buddha/her future self. And Ichigo…

   Ichigo has an ever cryptic sage telling him to look inside himself for answers, like something out of a bad movie. Hell, his life at this point might as well be just that. Who else gets into these kinds of situations constantly?

   Just him, that’s who.

   Ichigo tilts his head back. He’s spent time outside his body. How will he get inside it?

   “A backwards… Rayshift?”

   Is that even possible? It’s the best idea he has. Ichigo closes his eyes and thinks of Rashifting. The first time it had happened, he had been on the verge of death. Mash had been all but a corpse at his side. Fire had licked across them and CHALDEAS had glowed bloody above their heads. It had vanished, the red turned blue and bright and the fire clearing for a few brief seconds between Chaldea and Fuyuki.

   Ichigo breathes, focusing on that.

   On the blue, the soft light and the feeling of being weightless. On the knowledge that someone, even if it wasn’t Roman anymore, was out there looking after the integrity of his soul. He breathed in, tasting the air, tasting no ash.

   Ichigo breathed out.

   He thought of the feeling of Rukia’s gloved hand pushing him out with a rough pop. He thought of the feeling of Kon, sliding into his limbs and chest and head until he was squeezed with no room and no place to go but out.  

   Ichigo felt the swirl of the shift, the gravity, the whirlpool of energy.

   The swirl to the halo of the past. Out, out, out.

   Ichigo breathed in and pulled the whirlpool with him. He inverted the spiral of blue and white and light and gravity and twisted it not out of himself but      in    .  

   It was the feeling of falling. It was the feeling of flying. It was a pull that he didn’t quite understand, the tug of his instinct dragging him out of danger.

   It was the feeling of cement under his feet. It was the feeling of glass against his cheek.

   It was a pale blue sky, with smokey puffs of rain clouds floating high above him.

   *

   “The fact that you are not more afraid of this man really only leads credibility to my idea that you are insane . He’s at least ten times stronger than all of your companions.”

   Ichigo glances sideways, and Kyo. He leans against the wall, watching Karna with something like respect, or maybe admiration in his gaze. Ichigo can understand. Even from as far away as they are, he can feel the heat radiating off of the son of the sun god. It blooms against his skin, but doesn’t scorch him. Not yet, in any case.

   It feels strange. This Karna is not the Karna that Ichigo had met and fought against and within his dream of Trifas. They were the same, at their core, but this one didn’t know him. This one wasn’t his friend. This one hadn’t fought a vampire and a near endless supply of false Servants with him.

   Instead, this one was here to stop him from going to Edison. To stop him from forcibly beating sense into the insane american presi-king.

   It would have been intimidating, but even now Ichigo can tell that Karna doesn’t actually want to kill them.

   Like all of those heroes born in the Age of Gods, Karna is insanely powerful. Before him Ichigo is little more than an ant to be stepped on. This Hero of Charity is a legend in every sense, and his reputation is earned. The spikes on his collar speak of danger and death. The spear in his hands pulses with the power and radiates heat like pavement on a summer day.

   Karna is the child of a god, and they are, in the end, little more than human.

   Kyo isn’t. He’s strong, Ichigo knows that too. He’s at least as strong as some Servants, and Ichigo is certain he’s stronger than he’s letting them think he is. Not only is he strong, he’s smart, and good as playing at being harmless. Even if Ichigo is the only one who can see him regularly, he won’t drop the fake smile on his lips.

   How annoying.

   “You should withdraw at once!” Nightingale calls to their foe. Ichigo has no intention of letting him stay an enemy, but for now he can’t do anything. They have to beat him first, and then beat Edison over the head.

   “Perhaps you’re right. I am infected by an illness called ‘loyalty’. Figuring that out so fast, is it because you’re a nurse?” his head cocks just so.

   Nightingale huffs. “No. You’re just easy to understand.”

   Ichigo watches Karna deflate, looking upset. “Oh no, we ruined his mystery,” Ichgo couldn’t help teasing.

   Mash looked equally put off. “He seems somewhat depressed…”

   “Thank you for pointing that out. But no matter. He asked for my help first, and that is all I need to know. The king of inventions knelt before a worthless man like me and asked my help. Besides,” A smile, as warm as his magic, spread across Karna’s face. “He reminds me of a friend. And I am only human, don’t forget.”

   “‘Only      human’    says the demigod,” Ichigo mutters to Kyo, who snorts elegantly. “We should get this over with.”

   “You can’t hope to win,” Kyo argues, but he’s clearly getting used to ichigo’s stubborn nature.

   “Fucking watch us.”

   Ichigo draws up, prepared to fight-

   And Karna turns and walks back down the hallway, called away by Edison.

   “Huh. So it’s going to be a trap?” Ichigo muses.

   “ ‘ow can is be a trap, if ya know i’s gonna happen?” Cu asks, propping his elbow on Ichigo’s shoulder and leaning on his master. Ichigo scowls at him and shoves him off, but it’s more playful than anything else.

   “If it is a trap, it’s wiser for you not to spring it,” Kyo ads.

   “Okay, fine. You’re invisible. Go in there and see what we’re up against.” Ichigo points towards the high door to the throne room, at the end of the hall. Kyo just gives him a look.

   “Do I look like a servant?” Kyo arches a brow at him regally, and Ichigo shoots him a baleful glare. “Fine. But I expect you to do something for me, in return.”

   “Oh joy,” Ichigo rolls his eyes as Kyo walks through the walls, towards the presi-kings throne room. Now he owed a dead man a debt. Just once in his life couldn't one of these people be cooperative? He’d kill to have Chad here with him, even if it was just as emotional support in all this madness.

   “Poor master,” Mash mourns. “You look rather mad when you stand there talking at thin air.”

   “Hmm?” Medusa cocks her head. “I don’t know, the longer I’m attached to him, the more I think I see faint shadows about where he’s talking at. But that could be my imagination…:

   “It could make sense,” Ichigo admitted, “I have poison resistance thanks to Mash. Maybe you guys get to see dead people.”

   “Master,” she says slowly, “      We     are dead people.”

   Ichigo scowls. “Don’t be a smart ass.”

   “It’s better than a dumb ass.”

   He jumps when Kyo’s voice comes from behind him, smooth and full of amusement. Ichigo turns to scowl at him, but the man is unphased.

   “It does seem like it will be a straightforward confrontation. My, you must all be terrible at assassinations.”

   Ichigo smacks his arm when Robin winces, missing the fact that Robin must have been able to hear the jibe at his failure. With a frown at Kyo, he leads the way to battle.

   * *

   He’s laying on a building. Sideways on a building, if he wants to be picky about it.

   Ichigo sits up, slowly, looking down at the streets. It’s not the weirdest thing to ever happen. But still weird. Below him looks like a small Karakura town, and outwards are other skyscrapers, and towers of stone and glass. He can recognize turrets of castles that crash haphazardly into pillars of a familiar roman theatre. A flag with a fleur de lis floats in the distance, small atop a dusty building of the Old West. Between some wind long mountain roads that hitch into the metal and stone unnaturally. He can’t see the street, it’s flooded with water and dark shapes move beneath the surface.

   Ichigo stands, slowly, trying to focus on staying attached to the building he’s on. He doesn’t dare jump. He might die.

   He might actually be dead for all he knows. Did he just accidentally kill himself? This doesn’t look like any afterlife he’s ever heard of…

   It was certainly not Kur. Ichigo hopes he hasn’t died. He has promises he needs to keep, and dying would be a conflict of interests right now.

   All around him are remnants of places he’s known, of his home and the lands he’s seen. The sky scrapers reach high into the sky, like the fingers of some great giant trying to grasp the clouds themselves.

   Ichigo turns his face to the sky. There’s no sun, and far off in the horizon storm clouds brew in dark, angry shades of grey.

   “Okay. This is not great,” he says at last. “Where am I?”

   Something ruffles the back of his neck, like wind only the air is still and he spins around on his heel, until he sees something dark and flicking behind him. A person. A man, in a black coak that billows around his ankles. It’s edged in red.

   “Hey, old man!” Ichigo spins to face him fully. “Who are you?”

   “Who am I? I am _____”

   Ichigo stares. He couldn’t hear him. He heard every word but his name. Why? What cut it off? There’s no wind, no sound, nothing that would do that.

   Even though the strangers face is largely impassive, Ichigo can still see the slightest slanting of his eyes. His disappointment.

   “I see. How sad, even now you can’t hear my voice. You, who knows me better than anyone else.”

   “What are you talking about?” Ichigo crosses his arms over his chest as the man walks down the pole he’d been standing on and onto the side of the building in front of Ichigo. The distance between them feels like a chasm. “I’ve never met you before.”

   Snow flutters around them, small flakes that stick to nothing. It’s just a playful flurry, flickering cold across his skin before it disappears again.

   “You’ve known me all your life, even if you don’t know it. And I have known you. I know why you’re here. You’re looking to become another Shinigami, aren’t you?”

   Ichigo pauses, but nods in the end. Who is this man? How does he know this? He does feel familiar. More familiar than Chad. More familiar than Mash, even. Why…?

   “The old man in the hat said it’s possible, but I have to die. And I can’t do that. I have a promise to keep, so I have to stay alive and save Rukia before I fulfill it. And to do that, I need power I don’t have. Rukia lent me hers, but that’s gone now. There’s no one else anymore.”

   No Rukia. No Mash. No Medusa, or Cu. No Romani.

   Just him.

   “I have no one else to rely on. I have to stand on my own two feet. I have to fight with my own two hands.”

   “That’s not true.”

   The man walks towards him slow, his heels clicking on the glass of the building.

   “Rukia’s power may be gone, but Urahara Kisuke was no wrong when he declared that you have your own Shinigami powers. And you do not fight alone, Ichigo. I fight with you. I always have.”

   There’s a vicious vow somewhere in his level voice. A yearning that Ichigo almost misses.

   “I don’t understand. Who are you?” Ichigo shakes his head, trying to make sense of everything that’s happening.

   The man looks at him, and opens his mouth to repeat his name.

   “I am _____”

   * * *

   They’re the only ones awake.

   Ichigo is used to late nights. Sleep is hard to come by these days, and he usually only gets it when he’s too tired to even think, or when Mash’s solid shield lays beside him. The others are doing better than he is. They’re heroes and legends and myths. They have stronger hearts than he does.

   Ichigo walks quietly, not so far from the camp that he’ll get himself killed, but far enough that his movements won’t disturb his friends. Medusa is on watch at the perimeter, and she tosses him a somewhat concerned look, but doesn’t try to interrupt him when he sits beside Kyo.

   He’s got questions. About a million of them about the afterlife, but he doesn’t really have time for all of them at one time.

   And one top of questions about the afterlife, he has just as many about Kyo himself. He’s a mystery. He’s not a heroic spirit. And really, he has no reason to be following Ichigo around besides the fact that Ichigo has forcefully dragged him along.

   Not that Kyo couldn’t get away if he wanted to. Ichigo is no fool. Everyone here could kill him with a napkin.

   Kyo doesn’t acknowledge him when he sits beside him. Instead he keeps his eyes on the sky. On the stars haloed by the light in the sky. Even with it, there’s a thousand stars in the sky that Ichigo would never be able to see in Karakura. There’s too much light, even in a small city to be able to see this many stars.

   The whole milky way stretched across the sky, a painted band of blue and white and pink towards the edge of the horizon.

   “Is it the same?” he finds himself asking. Kyo makes a sound of question in the back of his throat, so he elaborates. “The sky. Is it the same where you’ve come from?”

   “Seireitei,” Kyo says the words slowly. “The stars are the same, but that’s about it.”

   “How do you mean? Isn’t it supposed to be a paradise? Like, Heaven? Elysium? Tian? Valhallah?”

   “Are you going to keep listing off afterlifes until I give you a real answer?” Kyo cocks his head, looking somewhat amused.

   Ichigo shoots him a crooked grin. “I absolutely will.”

   “My, you’re a pest.”

   “And you’re rude. Fields of Yula, asphodel, f      olkvangr-    ”

   Kyo claps his hand over ichigo’s mouth to finally shut him up, and Ichigo scowls at him without heat and with smugness.

   “Soul Society isn’t exactly like those stories,” Kyo’s smile is somehow soft and bitter and sad at once. Ichigo doesn’t know what to make of it.

   “So it’s no paradise,” Ichigo surmises.

   Kyo’s brow pinches and his mouth twists. “No. Not quite.”

   “Is there some rule saying that you’re not allowed to tell me?”

   “No,” Kyo says slowly,” But it is, ill advised. We are taught to tell the souls to pass on that they will find a good place in the next world. A paradise. So they don’t fight us going into a world not so unlike their own. “

   “Wow you make death sound inviting,” Ichigo says dryly. He manages to startle a laugh out of Kyo before he sobers again, looking to the stars.

   “The closer to the seireitei you get, the better the quality of life. In the first few districts people generally want for nothing, and are elbow to elbow with nobility and their retainers, if they aren’t one of those things already. Most nobles live in Seireitei itself, safe in their walls. But further away…”

   “Further away you find the poor, the downtrodden. Poverty is prevalent. Rukongai is separated into districts. Past the fifty ninth districts, most people can’t even afford sandals.It’s violent and bloody out there, and the people who have the most power are the ones least likely to help.”  

   Kyo’s hands curl and his mouth twists.

   Ichigo leans back on his hands. “You should get tips from Robin for overthrowing governments.”

   “I couldn’t do that,” Kyo shakes his head, but there’s a light in his eyes that makes Ichigo think that the idea has already crossed his mind at least once. “This is actually my first trip to the human world. I was supposed to arrive in Kyoto, but something went wrong, and now I’m here.”

   “It’s probably because Kyoto no longer exists,” Ichigo figures, solemnly, “The only land that exists at this time is here. The United States. Everywhere else has been completely obliterated.”

   They had to reverse that. They had to stop this war.

   * * * *

 They’re caught between a rock and a hard place. Literally.

   Ichigo and his Servants, minus Scathach who’s gone ahead of them, are cornered by monsters only Ichigo and Kyo can see and touch.

   Kyo is strong. Incredibly strong. He’s already cut down more of the swarm that Ichigo would have ever imagined, and blasted even more with fierce spells of blue and red energy. Yellow chains, and dark crescents. But they just keep coming, and now there’s even stronger ones ripping their way through the sky. They’re smaller and more distinct than the first wave, and as powerful as fifty of them combined.

   Even Kyo is struggling against the dozens of them that rip through the sky.

   Then it happens.

   One of them targets Ichigo and Kyo appears in front of him, striking it down. A second comes screaming in from the side and tears into Kyo’s sword arm.

   Blood splatters against Ichigo's cheek.

   “Kyo!” Ichigo lunges for him, but Kyo puts up his good hand, stopping him.

   “Stay where you are! You’ll only get in the way if you can’t fight. Damn, why are they all here at once?” Kyo grits his teeth and lifts his left arm, shooting off more spells, but without his sword, he’s struggling more to keep up.

   Ichigo burns with the feeling of being helpless. He can’t stay there and do nothing.

   So he does the only thing he can do.

   He shoots forwards, to Kyo’s back, and claps his hand on Kyo’s shoulder. He pours all the spirit energy he possible can into Kyo’s body, until he’s glow with it, blue and white. Kyo looks back at him, stunned.

   “Don’t just stand there!” Ichigo barks. “Hit them!”

   Kyo nods, once, looking dazed, and lifts his arm at the monsters closing in on them.

   “      Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens.”  

   Blue swirls in front of him, a ball of raw power that flashes and lashes out at the edges, dragging burn scars into the ground and drawing blood off of Kyo’s arms.

   “      Hado seventy three! Soren Sokatsui!”  

   It tears away from Kyo and Ichigo in a devastating force, ripping through the ground and shredding all the monsters in front of them into nothing more than burnt husks.

   Ichigo has time enough to register Kyo looking at him with a new light in his eyes before he falls to the ground, the world going black.

   * * * * *

 “I see.”

   The disappointment is back in the man’s face, and it makes Ichigo’s skin crawl. He doesn’t know why. This is a perfect stranger, he shouldn’t care so much what he thinks about him. But he does. It feels gross, a bur under his skin that he just can’t shake.

   “You still cannot hear me. Very well then. Perhaps you will hear my voice once you have unlocked your Shinigami powers.”

   “Uh huh. I don’t suppose you have a key for that, do you old man?” Ichigo asks, crossing his arms over his chest. The man cocks his head ever so slightly. His hair waves in time with his coat and he taps the window beneath him with the toe of his shoe.

   “This world exists inside of you. Inside of your mind. Inside of your very soul. Somewhere in here, somewhere in all these windows and bricks and everything else you’ve ever made a home for in here, you will find what you seak. You will find your shinigami powers somewhere here. Somewhere within.”

   “Just like that man said…”

   Ichigo is glad for the opportunity, but he doesn’t want to be the one to tell Merlin he was right. The Mage of Flowers will be even more smug than he already is, and Ichigo does not need that at all.

   “Fine. I just have to find it then.”

   He had no idea how he would do that. If this was inside of him, what would happen if he broke something? What would a shattered window do to he himself? He could only speculate, and he didn’t like any of the things he thought of. So he’d have to go by it delicately.

   Was that possible? The only way into the buildings would be through doors that are now thoroughly covered in water.

   Needle in a haystack much?

   Ichigo runs his fingers through his hair and tilts his head, closing his eyes in thought.

   If he was shinigami powers, where would he hide?

   Nowhere in the brackets of mountains. Nor in the theatre, or the tall castle towers. Nowhere that he was a Mage.

   That ruled out a lot.

   This guy said he’d always been with him. Did that mean he was a shinigami this whole time? Why hadn’t they come to him earlier? During the wars? In Kur?

   On the banks of the Karakura river.

   Ichigo shook his head and opened his eyes again. The old man was staring at him. Waiting. Watching. It was a little creepy. Ichigo’s hair brushed his shoulders when he turned his head to the side, looking down at the water.

   Somehow, he had to find his Shinigami powers.

   It had to be somewhere in these blue buildings. Maybe…

   Ichigo knelt down, knocking at the window under his feet curiously. It was totally solid. There didn’t seem to be so much as a hinge to open it. But inside, there, something white fluttered around.

   “...fuck it.”

   Ichigo punched his hand through the glass, ignoring the way the shards bit into his arm, and grabbed it. When he pulled his hand back he found a ribbon in his grasp.

   White ribbons. Like the ones Uryu had shown him before.

       That's it!  

   Ichigo jumped back, as high up as he could. He landed on the air, the way he had as a shinigami. This was it. This was how he could find it. He scoured the building, the windows, looking for anything that wasn’t blue and white. Anything. It had to be somewhere.

       C’mon. Red, red, red-  

   Ichigo drops back onto the building, understanding dawning. He makes his way over to the strange man and reaches out, grasping the straight sword he’d been standing on before. He pulls, and in his hand comes away a red ribbon that wraps around his wrist. As he pulls the sword from its sheath it flashes with pale blue light, until he’s holding a massive sword almost as long as his body.  

   Ichigo grins sharply at the old man, a name blossoming on his lips. They speak as one, voices merging.

   “Zangetsu.”

   Ichigo swings the sword to the side. It feels effortlessly light despite how large it is. It isn’t the foreign feeling of Rukia's power. This is his, and his alone.

   When he looks down, he’s wearing Shinigami clothes again. If Kyo could see him now.

   “Congratulations, Ichigo. You are, again, a Shinigami.” His voice is low and even. Ichigo glances at his eyes, half hidden by sunglasses.

   “Thanks. Although to be honest…. I was kind of hoping I’d be a Quincy, like my mother.”

   He doesn’t miss the startled jerk of Zangetsu’s head.

* * * * * *