#'make eye contact WAIT NO NO ok great we just awkwardly glanced at them. fuck. what are they even saying rn we stopped listening'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

something i'm grateful for about Wally is the representation for people who love eye contact. we're underappreciated smh

[ah-ga-seven]

Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 1

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?��

Word count: 3.2K

Genre: Angst, Fluff, 

Warnings: Mentions of sex, alcohol, overall pretty tame. 

A/N: English isn’t my first language, pls don’t come for me ;) Also the first chapter sucks and is more of an introduction so pls give ch 2 a chance lmaoo, it’s juicy, i promise.

You were exhausted.  

Your second year of college had passed like a whirlwind and you didn’t even have the time to realise.

Deadline after deadline after deadline had passed and you finally handed in your last paper of the year.  

You sigh in relief. The pent up tension leaves ur body and the stress seems to fade more and more as the seconds pass. You stare blankly at your laptop screen. Still not quite realising how you managed to write ten thousand words of scientific research just 3 days before the deadline.

You feel two firm hands on your shoulders, massaging you as a way to show comfort “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry.”  

The voice and sudden skinship startled you a little but as soon as you realise who it is, you relax in his touch.

You remove your Airpods and look up at your best friend, Soobin, who sat down next to you at your favourite secluded table in the school’s cafeteria. It’s where your friends could always find you if you had work to do.  

“I just might” you sigh throwing your head back. And suddenly a huge grin crept up your face. Which worked contagiously as Soobin instantly started to smile back at you. 

“I did it. I finished all of the work.” You say putting your hand on your forehead dramatically.  

Soobin chuckled nudging your shoulder. “I told you, you’d be fine. You always manage to pull through even though you procrastinate so much.” He says as he high-fives you.

You pout at his statement. Yes. It’s a serious problem. “I just-”

You stop your sentence midway as that god walks into the cafeteria. His confident stride to the soda machine dressed in simple athletic wear made your jaw drop slightly. He was sweaty, probably from basketball practice. His chestnut hair damp, cascading his forehead and prickling his eyes. He blinked a few times before blowing the hair out of his face with his pouty lips.  

You swallow harshly at the sight and Soobin follows your gaze. You hear him chuckle, right before he flicks your forehead.

“Maybe if you stopped drooling over my roommate, you would’ve been able to focus.”  

You send him a glare, kicking his knee under the table, making him yelp out in pain, which caught someone’s attention.

Yeonjun takes out his soda from the machine as his head snaps in your direction. He smiles and approaches your table. Your heart decided to do martial arts in your chest with every step he took towards your table.

You look away from his gaze quickly pretending to be busy with your laptop.

“Hey, what’s up?” Yeonjun said ‘bro-fiving’ Soobin.  

“Nothing much, just the usual abuse from miss thing here,” Soobin says sending you a look as he rubs his knee. 

“Abuse? I didn’t know you were into that.” Yeonjun says giving you a coy smile, and you nearly choked at his words, looking at him wide-eyed.

You try your best to keep your cool, but Yeonjun was leaning against your chair, inching dangerously close, looking over your shoulder.

“Watchu working on?” he asks cutting the tension.

Oh Yeonjun, always so friendly and interested. If only he knew the effect he had on you. Or the effect he had on at least half of the female and male population of your elite college.  

“N-nothing. I mean I just finished it. It’s the paper for Mr. Davis’s class. The last one, so summer can finally start.” You ramble, not sure why you’re telling him all of these details. It’s not like he cares. 

You take a mental note to shut up, stealing a quick glance from Soobin who was awkwardly shifting in his seat.

Yeonjun let out a chuckle, patting your back. “Good job, I knew you could do it. This paper will give you an advantage next year right?”  

You look up in confusion. “How’d you know?”

“Soobinnie here told me that this paper was the reason you bailed on the party two days ago. Such a shame, would’ve been nice to have you there you know…” Yeonjun says a little lost in thought absentmindedly moving a strand of your hair behind your ear.  

Was he? Flirting?  

“I have all the time in the world now, so if you want to see me so badly, just give me a call.” You say confidently crossing your arms. You were testing him, and he seemed amused by your sudden confidence.  

Soobin rolled his eyes at the two of you. Yeonjun is a notorious fuckboy. A star player of the basketball team, rich, handsome, charming but also his best friend and teammate. You were also his best friend that he had known since childhood, which means that the two of you were a recipe for disaster in his books.  

The two of you planned to go to the same college since your parents pushed you to do so, but also because you two are joined at the hip since birth. Oh and did you mention that Soobin was the one with the full basketball scholarship, while you had to rely on your actual brain to get one?

Ever since you started college and were introduced to Choi Yeonjun, you had a meaningless crush on him. But since time passed and you got close to Soobin’s friends and vice versa, your feelings towards him seemed to escalate and you could tell that Yeonjun was into you too. You just didn’t know in what way.

Soobin always tried his best to keep you two apart because he didn’t want you to get hurt. Soobin knew Yeonjun was just going to be in it for the sex and is not ready for a relationship in any way or form.  

But Soobin also knows that if you have set your mind to something, there’s absolutely no way that he can talk you out of it. You have always had a fascination for bad boys, wanting to fix them and then crying to Soobin about it when it didn’t work out. It might be the quality he hates about you the most.

But this time it was different. This time it was between two people that Soobin genuinely cared for. So he was against the two of you having any type of relationship other than friendship.

Soobin cleared his throat, diverting the attention back to him. “That sounds nice and all, but I think y/n will be going back home for summer. Right?”

You’re confused by Soobin’s sudden cock blocking and raise your eyebrow at him.

“No, actually. I’m not. Not this year. My parents are traveling through Europe so there’s nothing for me to go home to.” You say. Soobin knows about this. So why would he mention you going back home?

“Well. That’s great. Then we can finally hang out with the whole squad without any of us bailing because of school work.” Yeonjun says smiling.

“Anyways, I’ve got to go. I guess I’ll…see you around?” Yeonjun asks staring at you intently. You just nod in response giving him a smile, which he returned to you immediately. It was more of a smirk than a smile though and you could swear his eyes wandered to your chest, but you didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.

“See you back home bro” Yeonjun said patting the younger one on his shoulder before walking off.

As Yeonjun was out of sight, your head snaps back to Soobin, who was glaring at you.

“What was that about,” you say crossing your arms, fire spitting from your pupils.

“That’s so NOT happening” Soobin states taking a sip out of his water bottle while keeping eye contact.

“Excuse you?” you say lost for words.

Soobin just shrugs, he’s visibly annoyed and you know not to push his buttons right now but you decide to do so anyway.

“Listen, I know you’re practically my brother and all. But you’re not. So I don’t see why you need to act like you are, I like him Soobin. Let me explore my feelings for him a little.” You say in a hushed tone trying not to sound too bitchy, but Soobin just scoffs in response, rolling his eyes at you.

“It’s your feelings that I’m worried about y/n, cause he certainly doesn’t care. He just wants to fuck. If he actually liked you, he wouldn’t look at you like you’re a meal. He’d look at you with affection.”  

You’re taken aback by his statement and you’re not so sure if you should bite back at him. Instead, you let him explain some more as you wave your hand at him as a sign for him to continue.

“I care about both of you. I just don’t want this y/n, because when worse comes to worst I will have to choose, and then I will choose you and everything will go to shit. I am his captain, we have the same group of friends, we share multiple classes, hell, we share a whole apartment” Soobin sighs massaging his temples.

“Ok…Ok…Jesus” you give in.

“I promise; I won’t engage” you pout.  

“Good,” Soobin says. “Please for once just…listen to me. Trust me, he’s not the type of guy to want a relationship right now.”

“Ok.” You sigh. “But this means you and your girlfriend will be stuck with me all summer then.”

Soobin looks up, confused at how easy it was to talk you out of it. He smiles at you sweetly and his eyes disappear into crescent moons as he does so. “I can’t wait to get mani-pedi’s.” He laughs sarcastically clapping his massive hands together cutely while visibly relaxing in his seat.

Suddenly your heart gets all soft at the sight of the giant baby in front of you.  In a way he is right. He’s telling you all the things that you already knew. And the last thing you wanted was to hurt Soobin for some dumb crush you had on a college boy.  

“Soobin is just the captain cause he’s the tallest” Yeonjun argues.

You giggle at his childish statement. You were at the park off-campus with some of your friends. Soobin had his arm draped around his girlfriend Mia’s shoulder while she leaned into him. They were disgustingly adorable. And every time they displayed a little too much PDA all of your friends would throw snacks at them.

Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai had also joined you on the picnic. You were sitting with your legs draped over Beomgyu’s so there would be enough space for everyone on the blanket you brought.  

All of you munched on different types of snacks. And you tried your hardest to keep your distance from Yeonjun without making it obvious.

“Soobin hyung is the captain because he’s not as full of himself as you are” Taehyun said, making everyone but Yeonjun laugh.

He gave Taehyun the glare of death and pouted afterward to show playfulness. “I get no respect in this household” Yeonjun sighs as he throws an M&M at Tae’s head, which he dodged just in time.

Your heart did a jump at the sight of his pout and as if he could sense it, Yeonjun made eye contact with you.

He smirked, looking away when you did.  

Mia looked at you, narrowing her eyes as she saw the way you two were stealing glances from each other like high school kids.  

Mia was one of your closest friends whom you had introduced to Soobin in the first year. They started dating not long after they met. And from time to time you still remind them of the fact that if it weren’t for you, they’d be sad and lonely.

Mia knew you like the back of her hand, just like Soobin did. So keeping a secret from either of them was basically impossible. The two of them tend to gang up on you a lot. Even though you know It’s out of love and concern, it’s still really fucking annoying sometimes. Especially when it comes to your love life.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you say getting up. Beomgyu reluctantly removed his arm from your leg and uses it as a supporting rod for you to get up.  

You smile and thank him, which made Yeonjun narrow his eyes at the two of you, which Mia also noticed.  

Soobin however was lost in deep conversation with Hueningkai about some Math problems he had.  

Huening was a freshman, just like Tae, but since they were on the basketball team as well, they were all pretty close. And they helped each other out whenever they could.

You admired their friendship and were happy to call them your friends as well.

“I’ll come with you,” Mia says untangling her man's arms from her waist as she tries to get up, earning a sad pout from Soobin in return. “Come back soon,” he said sighing.

“Don’t be disgusting” Yeonjun and you say at the exact same time. Earning chuckles from everyone.

You look at each other surprised and laugh like the two of you were in your own world.

This time, Soobin noticed, and you try your best to avoid his gaze.

“You two are just bitter cause you’re single” Taehyun stated throwing his head back in evil laughter.

“Well so are you, so are all of you except for them so what’s your point exactly” Yeonjun bites back giving Taehyun a beaming smile while stuffing his face with a handful of the chocolates.

“Ehm, shall we?” Mia nudged you and you nodded as the boys’ bickering became background noise while you walked off together.

“Why do chicks always go to the bathroom together” Hueningkai questioned with genuine curiosity.  

“So they can talk shit in private,” Beomgyu said wiggling his eyebrows.

As Mia and you walked further and further from your spot, Mia looks over her shoulder to determine if it’s a safe enough distance to start gossiping.

“Dude” she nudges you while speaking in a hushed tone.

“Why were you and Yeonjun literally eye-fucking each other in front of everyone.”  

Your eyes grow wide and you turn around facing her. “Eye-fucking” you repeat her, suppressing a chuckle while trying to be as nonchalant as possible.  

“I think you’re seeing things.” You say shrugging.

“Am I y/n?” she looks at you with a stern expression, and this time you’ve had about enough.

You sigh in frustration as you open the door to the public bathroom entrance.

“Look, Soobin already gave me the ‘Yeonjun is a fuckboy so stay away’ lecture, I really don’t need to hear it again.”  

“Soobin lectured you about not engaging with Yeonjun?” Mia says surprised.

You raise your eyebrows. “You didn’t know? I thought he told you everything.”  

Mia sighs. “If you like him, who’s Soobin to tell you what to do with those feelings?”  

Your jaw drops, in awe of the fact that she’s siding with you on this one. “But if he hurts you, I’ll break his ankles.” She says determined, with her psycho protective smile.  Ah, there it is.  

“Well. Soobin really gave me an ultimatum. He basically says that if things end badly, he would have to choose between us and that it’d ruin not only his friendship but the team’s teamwork and everything. I don’t want to have that on my conscience just because I’m lusting over Yeonjun.”

Mia nearly busted a lung laughing and you cocked your eyebrow at her in surprise. “What are you laughing about” you try to suppress a smile, amused by her sudden outburst.

“He. Is. So. Dramatic” she says still recovering from her laughing fit.

“He is?” you ask genuinely interested in her point of view.

“Yes, he is. Look I don’t want to be the one to push you into toxicity or anything but we know Yeonjun. He is sweet? And nice. And he has never given me an off vibe. I can tell he has eyes for you, the only problem is that a lot of girls have eyes for him too and that can become a problem. The issue is if YOU can handle that.” Mia fixes your hair while she speaks and you sigh.

She’s right. “But Soobin”

“Oh fuck Soobin, I’ll keep my mouth shut. Just live a little. What’s the worst that could happen.”  

“Did you pee out the whole lake? That took forever.” Soobin states yanking Mia back into his lap.

“I missed you,” he says nuzzling his face in her neck.

“Ok, gross.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.  

“There was a line” you lie walking over to Yeonjun’s side, sitting down between him and Hueningkai this time. This action earned a look from Soobin, who was basically cursing at you with his eyes, all while Mia smiled at you knowingly. It also earned a look from Yeonjun, he looked at you surprised but content, and he gave you a sweet smile, his facial expression softened immediately when you nudged him playfully as you sat down next to him.

The whole afternoon was spent laughing and bickering. Listening to the boys’ none sense and Taehyun making snacks disappear and appear with his never-ending magic tricks. All while the six of you were busting your brains trying to solve Hueningkai’s mathematical equations for his engineering class.  

Yeonjun inched closer to you from time to time. The both of you were in charge of the music that was blasting from your portable speaker. You compared your Spotify playlists and noticed how much you have in common with him music-wise. It was fun seeing Yeonjun becoming all passionate about his favourite artists, it certainly didn’t help the fact that you were trying to keep a distance from him. Cause his cute little mannerisms and the way he gets so engrossed in his storytelling made you fall for him even more. Face first to be exact.  

From time to time you would feel Yeonjun’s gaze linger on you. He’d ‘accidentally’ brush his arm against yours or he would touch your thigh, asking you to pass him another can of soda.

It was a lot, but you couldn’t say you hated it.

“It’s getting late” Taehyun says getting up. “We need to prepare for the party tonight”  

his statement earned hums, moans, and groans from everyone.  

“Whose party?” you asked.

“Johnny. That senior from the photography major” Yeonjun answered, looking at you with a hopeful expression. “You’re coming right?”  

You smiled at him, nodding your head. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Dude this is a disaster,” you say rummaging through your clothes while you were on Facetime with Mia. “I don’t have anything to wear”  

Mia rolled her eyes at you. “You trying to impress someone?” she said stuffing her face with seaweed chips.

You stare at her through the screen “Listen, you little shit. Just because you’re in a happy marriage doesn’t mean you get to be all sarcastic and judgy”  

She snorted “Marriage!? Oh please. You’re just trying to impress Yeonjun and that’s fine. Just wear something that covers the least amount of skin, he’ll like it.”  

“You’re a menace to society” you state, Mia shrugs at your choice of words and laughs. “But you’re right.” You give in grabbing a strappy lilac mini dress. “Then I guess this is contestant number one”

“Ooh, yes! Love that, wear that.” Mia enthusiastically exclaims giving you a thumbs up.

“Okay, that was a lot easier than I thought this was going to be, I’m gonna finish getting ready. You and Soobin are picking me up, right?” 

“Yes, we are. Be ready at 11.”  

“Alright, see you, bye”

“Bye.”

You throw your phone on your bed and hold the dress in front of your figure, looking at yourself in the mirror. You sigh, getting a rush of anxiety and butterflies in your stomach as you think of seeing Yeonjun again tonight. 

Let’s see where this goes. 

Chapter 2

[kreepykix]

Peachy (Chapter 2)

a/n: ok ok so i started this forever ago and i already had the whole thing written out but it was crap so i went back and fixed it and decided to post it! i really hope you like it and ill probably post the last chapter in the next few days, enjoy! <3

Chapter 1

For a solid week you managed to avoid Roman successfully. After that day spent with him you just felt off, he’d make eye contact with you and your face would warm, he’d smile and you’d stutter or stare awkwardly. You knew that he was quickly going to realize something was up so you decided avoidance was the best way to go. And it worked, until Roman cornered you in the stairwell at school. He was standing in front of the door, arms crossed, looking pissed as all hell. You were standing at the bottom of the stairs and debated just turning around and leaving but you knew it’d only make things worse so you reluctantly walked up, leaving a few steps between you as you stopped.

“Hey!” You smiled, plastering on a happy façade.  

His expression didn’t change, “What’s up with you?” He pressed, taking a step down towards you, his height was intimidating and you swallowed thickly. It’s just the same old Roman, Y/N, no need to freak out. You thought to yourself weakly. 

“Nothing, I’ve just been busy,” You lied with a reassuring smile that he absolutely didn’t buy but the skepticism still written on his face. 

“Okay Y/N, I’ll just fuck off then.” He turned to go but you knew what he was doing. You’ve known Roman for most of your life and you knew how he reacted when he felt as though he was being pushed away or left out, you’d seen it plenty of times with Olivia. He’d turn defensive, even aggressive sometimes and shut down, creating a divide that you knew was meant to protect him but just hurt and you never wanted to be on the other side of that divide. He meant too much to you.

“Wait!” You grabbed his wrist to stop him and he whipped around to face you, anguish and desperation playing openly on his features.  “I’m sorry, it’s just that I've been feeling a little… strange lately and I took it out on you, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me.” You swallowed, searching deep into his eyes for a sign that you were okay. Without a word he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, he had one arm wrapped around your waist and the other clutching the back of your neck. You wrapped your arms around him and just enjoyed the closeness between you two. No awkwardness or conflicting feelings in this still moment, just plain closeness. Eventually you pulled back and Roman looked down at you, concern racing through this gaze.

“How about I come over to yours after school and we can just hangout and talk, I don’t see enough of you as it is, I don’t want you running off on me.” He said with a reluctant smirk, butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you nodded with a thin-lipped smile. 

“Sounds good,” You agreed, parting ways till after school when he followed you home in his car. You pulled up in the driveway, Romans red Road Coaster pulling up behind you. You’d always loved his car, the warm summer nights spent with the top down and a destination nowhere in mind, just a road that seemed to trail on forever. The radio would blast your favorite songs and you’d sing them along together, that was back when you were a duo, not a trio, and while it was great for Roman to have another friend you longed for the days when it was just the two of you against everyone else. 

You hopped out of your car, the door closing with a slam. You heard Romans door follow with the same and you turned, shooting a smile to the beautiful boy in your driveway. His lips turned up, mirroring your own and you turned, heading for the front door. Roman caught up and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pressing a quick kiss into your scalp and something inside of you flipped with nerves. You just smiled, pushing it down and continued to walk as if you weren’t questioning every decision you’ve ever made. You pulled open the door, leading Roman in and shutting it behind you. “Hmmmm,” You heard Roman hum and you turned to see what he was up to. He took off up the stairs, running down the hall in a moment of rare immaturity. 

You followed behind, racing up the stairs as fast as you could without tripping, “Roman!” You yelled, “What are you doing?” You raced into your room to see Roman with every blanket you owned piled on and around him, just his face peering out of the mound, a strand of hair had fallen into his face and you melted a bit at the sight. You shook it off and just laughed, kicking off your shoes before you hopped in right next to him, pulling back the blankets to make room for yourself. Roman grinned at your reaction and helped pile the blankets back on. Once you were settled you turned to look at him, a comfortable smile etched on his face. 

He noticed your gaze and turned with a questioning gaze, “You ready to talk?” He asked, nudging you with his elbow.

You sighed, turning your head away, it was easier to not make eye contact. “I guess I’ve just felt… off lately, Peter showing up just changed things and while I love Peter I miss us and I just figured I’d distance myself before you could do it for me.” You sighed, part of it was true but you weren’t ready to dive into the new things you were feeling for him, you didn’t even know how you felt yet, so why bother him with the uncertainty, especially since you know he doesn’t feel the same? You grabbed his hand from under the blanket and pulled it into your lap, the size of his hand completely eclipsing your small ones. You squeezed, turning to glance at him to see his gaze already trained intensely on you. Your cheeks warmed and his thumb started to rub soothing circles on the back of your hand. “I’ve just really missed you.” You murmured softly, leaning your head against his shoulder. A lone tear slid down your cheek without warning and you moved to brush it away but Roman had already seen it. 

He frowned deeply, lines creasing his features and he wrapped his arms tightly around you. “You know I’m not going anywhere right? I’m sorry we haven’t been hanging out as much, I promise I’ll start making time for you. You’re my best friend, don’t ever forget that. I would never leave you.” He whispered the last part and you nodded, sniffling. “How about every Friday from now on will be our day?” You looked up at him with surprised eyes. 

“Really? You’d do that for me?” You asked, suspicion in your gaze. 

He looked surprised, “Of course, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” He said and you chuckled in disbelief. 

“Whatever, I’m holding you to that every Friday thing though.” You smirked, rolling your eyes. 

“Hey! Don’t brush me off!  You thought I’d forget about you!” He chuckled, rolling his eyes as if the idea were crazy. 

-

He kept his word. Every Friday for the next six weeks was spent with Roman, he’d pick you up and you’d drive somewhere or go back to his or even just stay at yours, it didn’t matter. Your friendship felt repaired, maybe even better than before and your feelings had mostly gone, mostly. You’d still feel dizzy when he’d catch you off guard with a dazzling grin and still get fluttery when he would kiss you on the cheek. 

Another Friday rolled up on you quickly and you headed towards the front doors of the school to find Roman and ask about the plans for that night. You found him on the front steps of the school, body pressed against some girl as they attempted to swallow each other’s faces whole. 

You don’t know what made your reaction so strong but you ran back inside, swinging the door to the ladies bathroom wide open as you ran to a stall, expelling your lunch into the toilet bowl. You coughed and brought your head back up, eyes watering. Maybe your feelings hadn’t subsided after all. You frowned and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe your mouth off and went to the sink, rinsing your mouth out and splashing some water on your face, looking in the mirror as it dripped down your face. You had to tell him how you felt, it was driving you crazy and you finally felt like you were in a good enough place that he wouldn’t abandon you after you confessed, things would probably just be awkward for a while. You didn’t expect him to feel the same way, you knew he didn’t but you still wanted to out yourself so maybe he would be a little less public about his infatuation with any member of the opposite sex and allow you to get over your budding feelings for him. You were crazy about him and you couldn’t stand seeing him with anyone but you. 

You patted your face dry and headed out of the bathroom and out the front doors yet again though Roman was now on his own. “Hey,” You smiled though your gut was twisting with the thought of telling him how you felt.

He returned the smile easily, looping his arm through yours as you made your way down the stairs together. “Hey, so I was thinking a chill movie night tonight, do you just wanna drive over to mine around seven?” This was the first time he had asked you to drive over but you didn’t mind, you knew he had things he needed to do. 

You nodded, “Sure, sounds good, it’s a full moon tonight, maybe we should watch a horror movie, just to add to the vibes.” You quirked your brow and nudged him in the side playfully with your elbow and he chuckled. 

“Sounds like a plan, see you later ok?” He said and you nodded, parting ways as you went off to your respective cars. 

——

That night you swiped your keys off the kitchen table, said a quick goodbye to your mom and swept out of the house, light on your feet with the prospect of spending the night with Roman. As you neared the Godfrey residence, your nerves started to flare up again. You weren’t sure how he would react to your confession, probably kick you out, but he had to know. He did, you were just trying to reassure yourself at this point. As you passed Peter's house you noticed a familiar red Road Coaster parked in the driveway and you pulled in behind him, figuring you’d just say hi to Peter then you and Roman would take off. As you lifted your hand to knock on the front door of the trailer, you heard what sounded a bit like grunting coming from around the side of the house. Curiosity piqued, you got closer and made out some voices that sounded a suspicious amount like Roman and Lynda. You turned the corner, gasping audibly at what you saw. Peter, hunched over and shaking like a tree on a windy day, his spine cracking and snapping. You watched in shock as his hands formed paws, his skin falling to the forest floor lifelessly as it was replaced with fur. You just stood there, shock encumbering your body, unable to move as you witnessed something that by all means should be impossible. You felt your whole world shift as you finally found your feet. You took a step back, stumbling on a stick you hadn’t noticed before as it broke with a snap. All eyes snapped to you in a moment, Lynda and Romans human ones along with Peters now bright yellow, animalistic ones. You were a deer caught in the headlights, eyes like dinner plates and mouth agape. 

“I…” You trailed off, at a loss for words. Roman rushed towards you but you took a step back, shocking him enough for him to stop, you couldn’t remember a time when you had rejected him. “I don’t understand.” You murmured, eyes glued to Peter as he stared at you, you stared back till he finally turned and bounded off into the shifting night. 

Roman took another step towards you, “I can explain, okay? You just have to promise not to tell anyone.” Your eyes flicked to him, betrayal stinging your eyes in the form of tears. 

“You knew about this?” You crumbled, you didn’t understand anything anymore. “You knew about this and you didn’t think to tell me or include me? You knew I’d been feeling out of place and you still didn’t think that maybe I would like to know that one of my closest friends becomes a fucking canine on full moons?!” Anger flared up in you as Roman opened his mouth to spout off what you knew was some bullshit excuse. You held up your hand, “Don’t, I don’t want to hear it.” Without another word you turned, breaking into a run for your car. You got in as fast as humanly possible and tore out of the driveway like a bat out of hell. Tears streamed avidly down your cheeks as you hastily drove back home, the headlights close behind alerting you that you had a follower. You knew in the back of your head that were definitely in denial. Your brain couldn’t process what you had seen, your breathing grew fast and ragged as you finally pulled up to your house, Roman right behind you. You let out a sob, head leaned against the steering wheel. You weren’t sure which was causing your breakdown, the thought that Peter could turn into a wolf or the fact that your best friend had been lying to you for god knows how long, probably a mix of both. You heard a knock on your window and looked up to see a concerned, desperate Roman, eyebrows raised and panic in his gaze.  You glared as you opened your car door, steeling yourself for the fight to ensue. You brushed off the tears left on your cheeks and flipped your panic into anger. 

“Fuck off Roman.” You shot out as you walked towards your front door. You heard his steps behind you and you whipped around to face him. “Please just fucking go before I say something I can’t take back.” You pushed against his chest in an attempt to get him to go but he stayed planted in front of you. 

“I didn’t want to keep it from you, it's just—“ You cut him off. 

“What? You didn’t trust me? Thought I’d tell someone because I have so many friends?” Sarcasm dripping from your words, your glare deepening. 

“Of course not, I just didn’t want to drag you into it, it’s a whole lot of shit Y/N.” He took a step towards you but you took one back. 

“Don’t, just don’t. I won’t tell anyone but I need some time… to process things and figure out where I go from here… where we go.” You turned and headed to your front door. As you put your hand on the doorknob you turned, seeing Roman still planted in the same place. “I was an idiot to have feelings for you.” You said it softly but you knew he had heard from the way he stiffened. That was as much an answer as you needed before you swept into the house, the front door closing with a soft click. You dragged yourself up to your room, collapsing carefully onto your bed. You laid there, staring at the ceiling. You had expected this night to go so different yet it still had a similar outcome. Although, the ball is in your court now. You just needed some time to let everything sink in, then have a talk with Roman. Your world had been flipped upside down and you deserved time to come to terms with that, plus the fact that though Roman had acted like everything was peachy and perfect he had been keeping a massive secret from you willingly and while a small voice in the back of your head told you you were overreacting a bit, your feelings were hurt. 

You kicked off your shoes and pulled back your covers, crawling into bed and falling into a dreamless sleep. You didn’t bother getting up the next morning, or the morning after that, or even the morning after that. You stayed in bed for 4 days, just thinking. You feigned sickness to your parents and didn’t feel obligated to get up in the morning. You didn’t want to know what was waiting for you out there and clearly no one cared if you dipped off the face of the earth for a while. On that fifth day you finally pulled yourself out of bed, dragging your feet to the shower as you peeled off your musty clothes and steam filled the room. The warm water seemed to wash away the dust that had been clouding your mind and you thought clearly for the first time in 120 hours. You could live with the fact that Peter was a werewolf, you had come to terms with that a while ago. It was Roman you were dreading. He had lied to you and you had outed your feelings. Things weren’t exactly sunny anymore. You were going to have to have a long talk before you could even begin to repair your friendship. God know what he was thinking and how he was going to behave knowing you had feelings for him. 

You turned off the shower and wrang out your hair before stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around yourself. You picked out a sweater and jeans, pulling your hair out of your face and applying light makeup before deciding you were presentable to the public. You headed to school, knowing that today would only bring chaos. 

[dreamingofmilk]

can I get 3 with Erik? please

@alittlejd ! You were our first request, so thank you for submitting one! We had a lot of fun writing this one!

We hope you like it!

3. "Ok, but first kiss me."

Synopsis: Erik had a reputation of being a fuckboy. That meant you had to be careful around him. Guard your heart. It was a solid plan until he came in and ruined all your plans.

Word Count: 3,408

Warnings: cursing

You stared quietly at your friends as you approached them from the Uber you took to the state carnival. You cocked your head in confusion because their boyfriends were with them. And never once in the three weeks of planning this excursion did they mention bringing their fucking boyfriends. 

Of course, why would they, you were the only single one and they really wanted you there and they really wanted you to not feel left out. But how could you not feel left out? Each of your three best friends had their gorgeous boyfriends and you, well let’s just say your Friday nights had become super lonely. 

As you slowly approached them you noticed a guy standing off to the side awkwardly. You immediately recognized him as Tonya’s boyfriend James’ best friend Erik. 

Fuck Erik. 

Well… not literally… plenty of women have already done that and you weren't interested in being the next notch on his bedpost, as much as it seemed like he wanted to, and deep down, in a place you'll never acknowledge out loud, you wanted to. 

You meant fuck Erik in a what are you going to do kind of way. Erik was one of those heart stopping, stomach dropping, butterfly causing looking niggas and you struggled to deal with it. Especially because he made it a point to flirt with you incessantly whenever you were around each other. 

“Hey guys.” You hugged your friends Tonya and Fiona and their boyfriends James and Trey. You smiled with heated cheeks when Erik approached you with his arms spread open wide for a huge hug. Erik wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and bent down to whisper in your ear. 

“Missed you Bunny.” His subtle cologne fills your nose and it takes everything within you not to pant like a bitch in heat. You smiled politely at him and pulled away. Turning around to glare at your friends. 

“What the fuck!” You whisper harshly. They smile devilishly and wrap their arms around you while walking to the front entrance of the fair. 

“You’re always at the dorm girl, we had to get you out.” Tonya said as she stood in the long line. 

“I already agreed to come out with you guys. I wanna know why the fuck is he here!” You quickly glanced back at Erik only to find him shamelessly checking you out. He made eye contact with you and sent you a full on smile, unashamed of him eye fucking you. 

“You stay at home too much whenever we tell you he’ll be there. He likes you and it’s clear that you’ve been avoiding him.” Fiona mentioned. 

“So we figured that we would play Cupid AND have a great time.”

“What if I don’t like him like that.” You started, but your friends were not having it.

“Bullshit. We know your pussy gets a heartbeat whenever he’s around.” Tonya utters with annoyance in her tone. 

Your jaw drops at her vulgarity. She was right. But she didn't have to say it. 

“Now go have fun. Nothing has to come out of this. Just enjoy your time with him and we will all meet up in like two hours.” Fiona pushed you slightly towards Erik, while walking towards her man Trey. 

“Wait we aren’t going to walk around together?” You whisper back. 

“Uh...no.” Tonya uttered and pranced off with James. You watched in awe and shock as your friends left you standing next to the guy that made you fucking weak in the knees and crazy in the head, and he knew it. The longer you watched your friends walk away with their boyfriends. The more you realized that they set this up for the both of you. 

“So what do you want to do first, Bunny?” Erik looked down at you, his arms gesturing that he would buy your tickets for the fair as you approached the ticket booth and entrance. His nickname for you sent shivers down your spine. 

“I’m down for anything.” Erik smirked, licked his lips and stepped forward to buy your tickets.

“I’ll remember that.” You rolled your eyes at his stupidity. Erik shyly took your hand and led you toward your first ride. 

You rode two rides together and got matching henna tattoos, you were surprised when he agreed to get one with you in the same spot. Laughter bubbled up through your throat when he tickled you to distract you when the two of you went into a haunted house. His hands rested gently on your hips, following you slowly through the house of horrors.

The two of you ran out shrieking and giggling when Erik felt one of the actors accidentally brush up against him. 

You slowed down when you passed a booth with a giant stuffed elephant, your eyes big and wide as you stared wantingly. 

“You want it?” Erik asked. You took in your surroundings and noticed the elephant was for a basketball game. Maybe it was your height but you sucked at basketball. 

You slowly shook your head no and started walking ahead of him and away from the giant colorful elephant. 

“Come on bunny, if you want the elephant. I got you.” Erik grabbed you by your waist and pulled you back in front of the game. 

“How many girls have you done this for I wonder.” You muttered. Erik rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet… again and paid the guy. He explained the game and passed Erik three balls. Erik looked back at you and gave you the sweetest smile. A fuckboy shouldn't be able to smile like that, it's disrespectful really. 

“Can I get a kiss for good luck?” You blushed and shook your head. No way! You weren't getting sucked into that trap.

“Damn, worth a shot.” Erik winked at you and turned back to the game. Crossing your arms in front of you, you sway back and forth watching Erik sink three balls easy. 

“Take your pick, bunny.” Erik smirked and turned towards you, his arms spread wide as if he wanted to offer you the world. He really did have game, no wonder so many girls have fawned over him.

You pointed meekly at your elephant and smiled brightly when Erik reached up and got it for you. 

“What are you going to name it?” Erik whispered in your ear. You shivered but smiled softly when he handed it to you. You loved it already.

“N’Jadaka.” You smirked at his shocked face and held back laughter. “Psych.” That was a close one. He looked so genuinely happy that you almost forgot who you were dealing with. You had to be careful. This guy could really hurt you if you got too close.

After winning your prize, Erik took you to the concession stands. "I'm starving. What do you want to eat?"

You shrugged, "I just want a corndog. I'm not really hungry." You were way too nervous to eat right now. It's a wonder you've managed to make it this far. But fate was a cruel ass bitch and you were her favorite victim. Right before Erik started to speak your stomach let out the loudest growl. Louder than anything you've ever heard before. Your eyes flew to the ground with a quickness and you shrunk into yourself, your face hot with embarrassment.

And Erik, the asshole was laughing his ass off. "Lying ass! Ain't no way you got ass and titties like that and you don't eat proper. I don't fuck with girls who don't eat. Makes absolutely no sense to me."

You hit his shoulder as hard as you could, but he didn't even seem to notice it, he didn't even flinch. "Oh, so you have a fetish?" You let a smirk form on your face, some light teasing will smooth over all this awkward energy.

Erik frowned, "What? Fuck no! Take that shit back right now."

"Look, I get it. Thick women are all the rage right now. Do you, buddy." You shook your head.

Erik moved in so quickly. One second you were staring at the back of his head as he walked in front of you and the next he was so close you could count the different flecks of brown in his eyes. You took a step back in shock, but he grabbed your waist and pulled you back. "First of all, don't ever say no shit like that to me again. I'm not like these weak minded niggas out here. I don't need a trend to tell me what I like. And I'm not your buddy. I'm not tryna be your friend, Y/N. I don't know how many times I need to say it."

“Ah, there he is. How many girls has that line worked on?" You smirked and rolled your eyes. 

Erik rolled his eyes, "I'm not a hoe, Y/N."

"Of course not.” You deadpanned.

You both agreed to split a corndog and a huge slice of pizza. You fought, but Erik insisted on paying for all of it and carrying it all to your table. You huffed as you sat down. 

"I could have paid for half, Erik."

He scoffed and scrunched his face, "What kind of weak nigga lets a girl pay for a date? You don't touch your wallet when you're with me Princess."

You couldn't lie, the way he said that, like you actually offended him by mentioning it at all, was a bit of a turn on. You never would have pegged Erik as that type of guy, he had fuckboy written all over him. 

While you were in your thoughts Erik cut the pizza and corndog in half and set up a plate for you. He reached across the table to set it in front of you. "Here you go, Bunny."

You just looked at him, the shock clear as day on your face. "Thank you. I didn't know you could act civilized." 

"There's a lot you don't know about me." He frowned.

You smirked, "I think I know enough." You took a bite of your corn dog and moaned quietly. There was something magical about fair food. It always tasted so much better than anything else. You heard a groan and opened your eyes to see Erik with a pained look on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

He laughed humorlessly and shook his head. "You’re killing me, Y/N." He leaned across the table and grabbed your face. You were so shocked you couldn't react, you just froze, your eyes wide. He slowly leaned in closer, like he was going to kiss you. Part of you was losing your shit and the rest of you waited with bated breath, the anticipation damn near killing you. Erik stared into your eyes, his own half lidded and seductive. After a beat, he wiped his thumb along the side of your mouth. 

"You had some mustard on your face, beautiful." Once your heart rate slowed down a bit, his words finally registered and you were pissed. There he goes playing with your feelings again. And you fell right into it. You looked over at him and he was holding in laughter. You hardened your glare and he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bench.

"Asshole." You muttered under your breath.

He worked hard to reign himself in, all that was left was the occasional snicker. "I couldn't resist. You're so cute when you're angry. Like a bunny."

You pouted and crossed your arms. "I hate you."

"You don't. You like me." He grinned. 

"That would be a negative."

He shrugged and licked his lips watching you bit yours. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Princess."

You ignored him and started looking around the fairgrounds for what to do next. You couldn't hide your excitement when you landed on the ferris wheel.

Erik followed your line of sight. 

"You wanna go on it?"

"Can we please?" You even pouted for good measure.

"Whatever you want, Princess." He smiled. 

You squealed in excitement and shot off toward the ride. The ferris wheel was your favorite. When you were a child you used to go with your dad and he'd let you sit in his lap and watch the lights. The ferris wheel has always had sentimental value to you.

While you were caught in your thoughts you weren't paying attention to where you were going. One second you were running through the fair, ignoring Erik's pleas for you to slow down and the next you tripped and were catapulting to the ground. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for impact, but someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you before you made it to the ground. 

You were spun around so quickly you lost your balance and fell into Erik's chest. He wrapped his hands around your waist and steadied you to his body. You looked up, you actually hadn't really noticed how much taller he was compared to you, you only came to the center of his chest. Erik's face was full of concern. He grabbed your face with both hands and scanned you from head to toe. 

"You ok, Bunny? Did you scrape anything?" You could only shake your head silently, you were still in a bit of a daze. You could feel the shift in the air, you felt it earlier when he wiped the mustard off your face, but it was much more potent now. The air was crackling with electricity. 

Erik pulled you in closer, his head tilting slightly. He was definitely going to kiss you this time. You closed your eyes and leaned in. Just a few more inches, a few more centimeters…

You were both startled out of your bubble when a kid ran by and bumped into you. You inwardly groaned with frustration, but you took some comfort in seeing that Erik was irritated too. That was definitely a close call. You almost got swept away. You had to be careful, Erik may be nicer than you expected, but he was still a fuckboy who would break your heart eventually. You shook off the haze and pulled away. You both made your way to the ferris wheel together, but it was different this time. You refused to acknowledge it, because acknowledging made it real, but Erik didn't let go of your hand the entire way there.

The wait in line for the ferris wheel was awkward to say the least. You could feel the heat from Erik's hand as it held yours. You tried a few times to separate the hold when your hands started to sweat, but he wasn't having it. 

He eyed you sternly after your most recent attempt, "Why do you keep trying to let go? I slaved over a carnival game and won you a prize and you can't even hold my hand? That's cold, beautiful." He pressed his other hand to his chest in playful hurt. 

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, trying your hardest not to swoon at the fact that he called you beautiful again. 

"Oh please, you have girls drool over you all the time, I'm sure you're not worried about me."

He moved forward and handed over your tickets. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bunny." Both of you stepped forward as the ride came to a stop and got into the car. You smirked as you slowly rose up as the other cars were loaded. "Sure sure."

Once you were close to the top, Erik shifted so he was next to you. His hand reached to grab yours. "I'm really happy you came today, Y/N. I hope I get more chances to spend time with you."

You turned to him and smirked to hide your internal swooning. "You are definitely smooth. I'll give you that. No wonder all those girls fawn over you."

Erik pulled back to rub his hands over his face. "Stop saying that shit Y/N! You've been taking little jabs at me all night and it's annoying! Why do you keep shutting me down every time I try to talk to you?"

"Because I refuse to be another one of your hoes who pines away for you while you're on to the next set of open legs! I'm not that kind of girl and I'm not interested in a one night stand with you!" You sneered. 

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! You've been calling me a hoe all night! Where are you getting that shit from!" He raised his voice slightly. 

You scoffed. “Practically every girl on campus. 'Erik's the best I ever had' 'Erik ruined me for other guys' 'Erik turned me out'. It seems like you've fucked everyone on campus but me. Is that why you're so fixated on me now? Because I'm the one pussy you haven't fucked yet?"

Erik's hand shot out and landed on the top of the bench, the loud sound made you jump. He leaned in closer to you, his mouth in a snarl.

"They're all fucking lying! I havent fucked any girl on campus because I've been checking for YOU!" 

Your eyes started to water. How dare he try to play you for some fool. "You must think I'm stupid. Am I a joke to you? You really expect me to believe that?" You tried to hide the break in your voice and the tears threatening to spill, but you were a terrible actress and your face was far too expressive. You looked away to stare at the lights and people down below. You needed a second to get your guard back up.

He frowned, "Yes! I'm not a liar Y/N. I've told you nothing but the truth since I met you. I had no intentions of getting with anyone when I started school, because I wanted to put all of my attention on basketball. I didn't want any girls distracting me from that. I only went to parties because someone had to drive my drunk ass teammates back home. But that changed when I saw you at one of my games freshman year. I didn't know you yet, but you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I've been checking for you ever since, trying to get your attention, trying to get to know you."

You knew you were gaping, but you couldn't help it. "I don't understand. Why would all of those girls lie?"

He scoffed, "Because I turned down so many of them, they were probably embarrassed so they tried to get clout by saying they had sex with me. I heard a few rumours, but I didn't pay it any mind because I knew they were all lies."

You paused, "So all the play flirting?"

Erik kisses his teeth and leaned back, spreading his legs out so his thigh rested against yours. "Wasn't playing at all. I like you Y/N. I've been trying to get you to give me the time of day for over a year. I want to date you, get to know you."

Suddenly all of the things that didn't make sense earlier pieced together. Erik paying for your food, his concern when you almost fell, all of the little pet names he calls you. It all added up and the realization hit you in the gut. 

"I've been horrible to you. You must hate me." You covered your face in your hands. Erik scooted closer to you and pried them away. "I don't hate you at all. Now that I understand where your head is I get why you acted like that. But that's not me, beautiful. I'm not that guy. Everything I've shown you has been genuine."

You nodded, "I know. I see it now."

He smiled and grabbed your hands, "I really like you Y/N. You're smart, and funny, and beautiful, and everything else I want. I want to make you mine, if you'll let me?"

You nodded. "I like you too, Erik. Way more than I wanted to admit."

He smiled brightly and grabbed your face. You closed your eyes as he got closer and tilted his head. You could feel his breath on your lips as he closed in, you could smell his cologne and the crisp night air. When his lips made contact you sighed and leaned into him, your hands fisting in the front of his shirt and pulling him closer. Your lips moved together like they were already familiar with each other, perfectly in sync. Way too soon, Erik pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Y/N, will you be my girl?"

You smirked, "Ok, but first kiss me."

He grinned, "As you wish."

Taglist: @aislinnsilver @wawakanda-btch @chaneajoyyy @marvelmaree

[fanficshiddles]

Caught in his web, Chapter 19

Chloe’s friends were no help in regards to her situation.

One of them had heard bad things about Loki, the murdering and some of the stuff he did for money. But another of her friends had only seen and heard great things about him, because her mum worked as a nurse at the hospital he helped fund on a regular basis.

The basic consensus was that he was rich, good looking and wasn’t going to kill her, so why not just enjoy it and spend all his money. Which she did, almost. They went shopping after the cinema and Chloe bought them all dinner and then splurged on some clothes and new make-up.

When her friends went home, she had been tempted to try running away. The train station was only a short sprint away, surely she could reach it and buy tickets before Nelson would be able to contact Loki to cut off the card…

‘Come on, Miss. Loki is home and expecting you back now.’ Nelson said as he opened the door of the car and looked at her expectantly. He saw her glancing at the station and that made him a little nervous, but he breathed out in relief when she meekly got back into the car.

When they returned, Loki was waiting for her and opened the door on her return. She carried her bags inside and turned to face an inquisitive Loki.

‘Enjoy yourself?’ He asked.

‘Yes… Thank you.’ Chloe nodded, she didn’t really know what to say or do now as she stood there awkwardly under his gaze.

‘What did you buy?’ He asked, peering at the bags.

‘Uhm… Some make-up and clothes… Is that ok?’

‘Of course. I said to use the card for whatever you wanted. Go upstairs and unpack, I will be up shortly so you can try on your new clothes for me.’ He purred, his eyes darkening a little at the thought.

Chloe cursed internally. She forgot about the way he had her try on all her clothes when she first came here. She should’ve known he would get her to do the same for anything new she got.

She rushed off upstairs, Loki grinned at the way she ran off. He turned to Nelson who was waiting by the door.

‘Did she behave?’

‘She did. I think she was contemplating making a run for it at the end, I saw her eyeing up the train station. But she thought better and got in the car.’ Nelson said honestly.

‘Well that’s good she made the right choice.’ Loki nodded, pleased with what happened. ‘Thanks, Nelson. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Loki patted his shoulder.

‘No problem. Anytime.’ Nelson smiled.

Loki went upstairs to Chloe’s room and noticed she was in the walk-in wardrobe putting away her new clothes. So he crossed the room and sat down on the chair by the window. He crossed his foot over his knee and waited patiently for her to finish.

When she came out of the wardrobe she let out a screech of fright and put her hand over her heart. ‘Fucking hell. Do you have to keep sneaking up on me like that?’ She hissed. But she blushed after the outburst, remembering suddenly who she was speaking to.

Loki just chuckled and rubbed his lower lip with his finger. ‘Come here, doll.’ He motioned her to him with a come-hither finger.

Chloe swallowed hard and crossed the room to him. He uncrossed his leg and patted his thigh while looking at her intently.

Her eyes widened upon realising he wanted her on his lap. She bit her tongue and didn’t move, but Loki tilted his head down slightly and narrowed his eyes at her, in a silent warning. That was all that was needed as she moved over to him and got on his lap with her legs bent at either side of him on the chair.

She tried not to touch him, but Loki took that option away from her as he grabbed her hands and draped them around his neck. He slid his hands to her back and moved them downwards to hold her bum, squeezing her in delight.

‘I just spoke to Nelson.’ Loki said firmly, looking into her eyes still.

Chloe felt her stomach drop. Shit. Did she do something wrong? Did Nelson notice her thinking about running away? Did he tell him that?

Loki started patting her bottom in a rather gentle manner while he continued. ‘Do you know what he told me?’

She had started shaking, Loki could feel her entire body doing so in fear of what he was about to say and/or do. But she shook her head slowly.

‘He told me that you looked in two minds about attempting to run by the train station…’

Chloe felt like she was going to be sick. How had Nelson noticed that? ‘I… I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t mean’ Loki cut her off from rambling as he continued speaking.

A gentle smile formed on his face. ‘But he said that you did as he asked and got in the car instead.’ He reached up with one of his hands and started stroking her hair in an oddly soothing kind of manner.

‘You can be such a good girl, and you were indeed today.’ He purred, his praise oddly settling her nerves a little. ‘So much so, that I want you to come along to a party I need to attend across town this weekend. There will be drink, food and lots of mingling. But I want you with me, on my arm.’

Chloe was taken aback. Loki could see the wheels turning in her head, so many questions.

‘It’s a business party, so there will be many important people there. Also some nobodies.’ Loki said flippantly. ‘You don’t have to come, if you don’t want to. But I would very much like you to. I think you’ve earned a chance to let your hair down. You can invite two friends, too.’

Chloe was really surprised and didn’t know whether to accept the invitation or not. Loki could see that she was uncertain.

‘And your father will be there, what with him having a new job now with an acquaintance of mine who is going.’ Loki added in like an after-thought.

Her eyes widened a little and Loki saw the interest flood back to her.

‘I… I think I would like to go.’ Chloe nodded.

Loki grinned widely. ‘Excellent.’ He slid his fingers through her hair and held tightly as he pulled her in close to kiss her, she just took it without any hesitation and allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth and take control of her own.

After leaving her breathless from the kiss, he leaned back and smoothed her hair away from her face. ‘I’ll take you out tomorrow, we will need to get you a nice new dress for it. None of the ones you have currently will be suitable.’

‘Is it a really posh party?’ Chloe asked quietly.

‘It is indeed. So you best be on your best behaviour, too. If you show me up at all by acting out, there will be serious consequences.’ He growled and tightened his grip in her hair as warning.

‘I’ll behave. I promise.’ Chloe said quickly to get him to release his harsh grip on her, which he did.

‘I know you will, doll. You’re my good girl. Now, go and try on those new clothes for me.’

[cocastyle]

Change - Ch. 1 | S E V E N

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 4,475

A/N - it’s been a bit hasn’t it? I’m so sorry for the semi-long wait! it’s getting near the end of my basketball season so I’ve been busy with senior night (which went great but was very emotional) and trying to wrap the season up while also juggling the mounds of homework my teachers have thrown at me. anyways, here’s an update for you all! I really hope you like it! and for those reading Wonderwall (my Steve Harrington rewrite) I’m currently working on an update for that as well!

if you all would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

C H A N G E

Change Series Masterlist

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

S E V E N -  Pictures

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

Y/N was silent as she held onto her cousin's arm, standing close to him due to the bit of fear coursing through her body. Her eyes flickered over the missing poster in front of her, the name Edward Corcoran and the words 13 years old standing out almost as much as the thick bold letters spelling out missing.

Edward had been her age, a kid just like her and all of the other members of the Losers' Club. What had happened to him was still unknown, but Y/N couldn't stop thinking about that clown that not only her, but Bill, Beverly, Stan, and Eddie had seen as well.

"They say they found part of his hand all chewed up near the standpipe," Stan muttered as he shuffled awkwardly where he stood. His words made Y/N gulp and she gave him a questioning look as to why he would say something like that as she let go of his arm. Stan only gave her a look in response, confused by what she was doing.

"He asked to borrow a pencil once," Ben commented, and Y/N felt like she might be sick. Something about knowing that they had known Edward made the situation that much more real. After all he was a boy that had used to walk the same hallways as her cousin. He wasn't the first one to disappear like this and it didn't seem like he was going to be the last.

A commotion coming from the steeet caught Y/N's attention and she turned her head to lock eyes on Richie who was currently playing one of the band kid's instruments while the kid desperately tried to wrestle it out of his hands. The corners of her lips tugged up ever so slightly as she watched Richie, her eyes then flickering over the parade going by before a movement out of the corner of her eye had her turning back to the others.

Bill was walking towards the flyer and he hesitated before gently lifting the paper up to reveal another missing flyer for a girl named Betty Ripsom. Bill sighed before letting his eyes flicker over to his friends, his gaze instantly locking with Y/N's.

"It's like she's been f-f-forgotten because Corcoran's missing," Bill said, his words making Y/N frown slightly and look to her feet while Bill hung his head and put Edward's flyer back down.

"Is it ever gonna end?" Stan questioned.

"What the fuck, dude?" Richie's voice could be heard yelling out in frustration as the band kid tore his instrument away from the boy before running away.

"What are you guys talking about?" Eddie asked as he came up behind Y/N. The girl jumped in surprise and Eddie flashed her an apologetic look as he licked one of the ice cream cones in his hands.

"What they always talk about," Richie replied in annoyance as Eddie handed the boy the other ice cream cone.

"I actually think it will end, for a little while, at least," Ben told them.

"What do you mean?" Beverly asked, everyone's eyes now on the young boy.

"So I was going over all of my Derry research and I charted out all of the big events. The Ironworks explosion in 1908. The Bradley Gang in '35 and The Black Spot in '62. And now kids being. . ." Ben trailed off as his gaze fell on Bill. He quickly looked away and sighed as he said, "I realized this stuff seems to happen-"

"Every 27 years," Ben, Y/N, and Bill all uttered in unison, Y/N and Bill both making eye contact as those words left their mouths.

It was silent as the group stood there before Y/N shook her head and whispered out, "Shit." All eyes turned to the girl who put a hand to her head almost in pain before she turned and began to walk away, the action causing them all to look at her confused.

"Y/N?" Bill called out, his voice soft and filled with concern.

"I. . .I just need to sit down," Y/N replied with a wave of her hand as she walked down the street. The others all shared a look before quickly following after her, not wanting her to be alone.

Before long, the group had ended up sitting down at a park bench set up in the middle of town. Beverly, Stan, Mike, and Ben all sat on the green bench while Richie, Eddie, and Bill were seated on their bikes. As for Y/N, she was sitting on the ground by Bill's side.

She was resting her head against Bill's leg, something that hadn't gone unnoticed by Bill or Stan, and was pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to wrap her head around everything that she had been told over the past couple of days and everything that she had witnessed since she got here.

Derry was definitely a little stranger than the last time she had been there that was for sure.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. It comes out from wherever to eat kids for like a year and then what? It just goes into hibernation?" Eddie finally asked

"Maybe it's like. . .what do you call it? Cicadas. You know, the bugs that come out once every 17 years," Stan suggested while Y/N removed her hand to scrunch up her nose and look to her cousin.

"I don't think it's that," Y/N muttered with a shake of her head. Cicadas and kids going missing were not the same thing at all.

"My grandfather thinks this town is cursed. He says that all the bad things that happened in this town are because of one thing. An evil thing that feeds off the people of Derry," Mike explained.

Y/N's stomach grew queasy again and she let out a soft groan as she laid back against Bill's leg, the boy reaching down to brush some of the hair out of her face almost automatically before the two shared a small smile.

"But it can't be one thing. We all saw something different," Stan pointed out.

"Maybe. Or maybe It knows what scares us most and that's what we see," Mike suggested.

"But I don't. . .I don't fear my father," Y/N argued.

"Did he do or say something that scares you?" Mike asked, wondering if it wasn't Y/N's father that scared her but something else that he might've done or said.

Y/N's face fell at that and a flash of pain flickering across her face before she looked down, the sudden realization of what fear her father was supposed to represent hitting her harder than she had expected. For one of the things she feared most in the world was being the reason her parents split up and for being the reason her family wasn't a family anymore.

It didn't take much for the others to know that she had realized what her fear was, but Eddie knew she wouldn't want to talk about it and was quick to speak up, "I-I saw a leper. He was like a walking infection." Everyone's gaze turned to him and Y/N gave him a thankful smile which he returned.

"But you didn't. Because It isn't real. None of this is. Not Eddie's leper or Bill seeing Georgie or Y/N seeing her father or the woman I keep seeing," Stan insisted, the others all looking down as they tried to believe Stan's words. For it was better to think that they were all hallucinating than to know that something out there was changing into their worst fears.

"Is she hot?" Richie suddenly asked in pure curiosity that made Stan scrunch his nose up in disgust and glare at his friend.

"No, Richie. She's not hot. Her face is all messed up," Stan explained with a tad bit of aggression while Richie frowned. "None of this makes any sense. They're all like bad dreams."

"Nightmares," Y/N whispered, her face pale as she ran a hand through her hair. By now she was thinking of all of her fears and what It could do to her that she was more frightened now than she had been five minutes ago.

"I don't think so, I know the difference between a bad dream and real life, okay?" Mike told them, the seriousness in his voice making them fall quiet.

"What did you see? You saw something too?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," Mike muttered, his head falling as his eyes glazed over as if he were seeing the memory before his very eyes. "You guys know that burnt down house on Harris Avenue? I was inside when it burned down. Before I was rescued my mom and dad were trapped in the next room over from me. They were pushing and pounding on the door trying to get to me. But it was too hot. When the firefighters finally found them. . .the skin on their hands melted down to the bone."

A heavy silence fell among the group and Mike let his eyes flicker over each of them before firmly saying, "We're all afraid of something."

"Got that right," Richie said causing Y/N to look to him.

"What about you, Tozier? What are you afraid of?" Y/N asked, her voice soft as she looked to the boy. He glanced down at her for a second before sighing and looking back at the stage behind them which had a clown on stage.

"Clowns."

- - -

Bill let out a small sigh of frustration as he struggled to keep the blueprints on the wall from moving as he pinned them up. Before he could yell at one of his friends to help him, a small and gentle voice said, "Here, I'll help."

Bill didn't even have time to blink before Y/N was sliding up beside him to hold the paper up while he was able to pin the blueprint to the wall. Once it was secure, the two brought their arms down and looked to each other. "Thanks," Bill whispered before the two smiled softly at each other.

"Okay, lovebirds! If you aren't going to fucking kiss then sit down!" Richie exclaimed in slight amusement and annoyance, a few chuckles escaping his lips at the sight of Bill and Y/N blushing a deep red before they walked away from the blueprint.

Mike pulled the door to Bill's garage down while Eddie flipped on the projector that Bill had him set up. The Losers then all crowded around the projector while Bill put a slide in. Y/N and Bill locked eyes for a split second before Y/N quickly turned away and sat down beside Eddie on the floor, the boy sending a small smile in her direction which she quickly returned before they looked to the blueprints which had a projection of an old Derry map on top of it.

"Okay. Look. That's where G-G-Georgie disappeared. There's the Ironworks and the Black Spot. Everywhere It happens it's-it's all connected by the sewers and they all meet up at the-" Bill began as he pointed towards the spots marked on the map.

"The Well House," Ben said in surprise.

"Well House?" Y/N questioned, not knowing what they were talking about.

"That's the house on Neibolt Street," Stan explained, his voice shaking slightly as he spoke.

"You mean that creepy-ass house where all the junkies and hobos like to sleep?" Richie questioned while Eddie began to panic. The boy quickly pulled his inhaler out and took a hit before breathing heavily beside Y/N. The girl frowned and was quick to put a hand on Eddie's back, gently rubbing up and down his back in a comforting manner and helping the boy to calm down.

"I hate that place," Beverly admitted. "Always feels like it's watching me."

Eddie was finally able to calm down enough to sit back up straight and he leaned into Y/N's touch slightly, seeking the sisterly comfort she seemed to be giving him and that he used to receive from her when they were younger.

"That's where I saw It," Eddie told them. "That's where I saw the clown."

"Tha-tha-tha-that's where It lives," Bill concluded, the statement being enough to make Eddie use his inhaler once again.

"I can't imagine anything ever wanting to live there," Stan muttered.

"Guys," Y/N said in warning as she noticed Eddie's panicking state, but the boy was already jumping to his feet and turning to look at his friends.

"Can we stop talking about this?" Eddie asked. "I-I-I can barely breathe and-and-and Y/N's not even able to calm me down like she always does. It's summer. We're kids, I can barely breathe. I'm having a fucking asthma attack and fuck doing this!"

Eddie turned around and quickly grabbed ahold of the blueprint map that Bill and Y/N had just put up and ripped it off the wall. "What the hell! Put the map back!" Bill yelled while Eddie shook his head.

Y/N sighed and quickly got up from her spot before walking over to the boy. "Eds, it's okay," Y/N assured him while the boy watched her wearily.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! How come she gets to call you Eds without you biting her head off?" Richie complained.

"Because she's not an asshole like you!" Eddie exclaimed while Richie frowned and muttered something under his breath.

It was at that moment that the projector flickered on and off, the slide changing to a blank one and causing the group to look to Bill who was staring at the projector confused. The projector did the motion again and a picture of Georgie and Mr. Denbrough appeared in the place of the map. Although this time everyone had noticed that Bill hadn't been the one to change the slides.

"What happened?" Bill asked confused as the slides moved again, family pictures of the four Denbroughs appearing before them. "What's going on?"

Eddie slowly began to back away while Y/N merely looked at the pictures in confusion before looking back at Bill. "Bill, what's happening?" Y/N questioned.

"I don't know," Bill shook his head as Mike came over and tried to stop the projector only to find that he couldn't. His eyes then flickered up to the screen and he muttered, "Guys. . ."

Y/N turned back around and watched as pictures of Bill and Georgie appeared on the screen before there was another family picture of the Denbroughs. Although this time it began to zoom in on Georgie in the picture with each click of the projector.

"Georgie," Bill muttered before the projector began to move faster.

"Uh. . .Y/N," Stan said in a panicked voice as he noticed that his cousin was still so far away from him.

However, everyone fell silent and seemed to become mesmerized as they watched the picture suddenly shift view over to Mrs. Denbrough. For a moment it seemed as if her hair was moving with each click of the projector and it didn't take Y/N or the others long to realize that it was moving with each click.

The hair quickly covered his mother's face before slowly starting to move away. With each click, the new face began to be revealed and Y/N felt her breath hitch in her throat once she realized the clown was suddenly coming into view.

It was like she was frozen in terror, the only thing registering in her head was her friends yelling out as they desperately tried to stop the projector.

"What the fuck?"

"It's It!"

"What the fuck is that?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Turn it off!"

"Yes, turn it off!"

Mike was the one to react and he quickly kicked the stand the projector was on, sending the projector tumbling to the ground. The picture appeared again only the clown was now gone and all that was left was the empty background of the picture.

Y/N was breathing heavily as she finally blinked out of whatever trance she had been in. Her body was shaking as she looked back at the others with wide eyes only to find them all looking behind her with wide eyes before Bill looked to Y/N in fright and yelled out, "Y/N, get away!"

Y/N felt her whole body tense at that and for some stupid and unknown reason she decided to turn around only to find that there was nothing there. Her shoulders relaxed slightly and she went to turn back at her friends only for the clown suddenly to appear out of no where, it's body now ten times bigger and crawling out of the projected image.

A scream fell from Y/N's lips as the clown turned to look at her and she heard Stan cry out her name among the scream of the others. That was enough to have her moving and Y/N tried to scramble away only for something to grab onto her leg.

Y/N quickly slammed into the ground and turned only to find that It had ahold of her leg. Another scream left her lips and tears were filling her eyes by now as she felt an immense pain in her leg.

It let go of her for a split second and Y/N tried to crawl away as best as she could while It just watched her in amusement. She didn't know what her cousin or her friends were doing at that moment, but for a split second she thought that they had left her and that she was going to die.

Y/N was crying as she crawled across the floor only to get trapped in the corner of the garage while It stared directly at her, his hand outstretched in her direction as he went to grab for her.

"Y/N!" Bill's voice yelled out before he was suddenly grabbing onto the garage door and flinging it up, allowing the light to pour into the garage. The clown disappeared almost immediately and the last thing to be heard was an ear piercing scream from Y/N as she huddled more into herself in the corner of Bill's garage.

Once nothing came for her, Y/N allowed her eyes to flicker open only to find the garage was now empty. This alone was enough to make her break down and Y/N began to sob as she hugged her knees close to her body, the others all standing there breathing heavily as they tried to process what had just happened.

Bill was the only one unfazed and shoved past Stan who was staring at his cousin with wide eyes, a look of pure horror on his face as he had almost seen his best friend die before his very eyes and hadn't been able to do anything about it.

Bill was in front of Y/N in seconds and the girl didn't even hesitate before lunging forward and into Bill's arms, the boy holding her tight while she cried into his shirt. He tucked her head under his chin and cradled the back of her head against his chest as he gently rocked her back and forth, whispering softly to her that she was okay while she cried in his arms.

"It saw us," Eddie whispered once Y/N's cries has quieted. She was still holding onto Bill tightly, the boy having not loosened his grip at all either, but the two turned their gazes to Eddie who was gripping onto his inhaler. "It saw us and It knows where we are."

"It always knew," Bill muttered, those words making Y/N quiet once again. Bill looked down at the girl and his mind was instantly made up on what had to happen next. He gave the girl one last squeeze and even kissed the top of her head before reluctantly pulling away from her, ignoring the heartbroken look in her eyes as she desperately tried to keep hold of him.

Bill stood up and glanced at Stan who took the hint and rushed over to his cousin before helping her up onto her feet. Bill was just about to walk out when he heard a hiss from behind him that had the boy turning around to see Y/N turn her leg for them all to see. He, along with all the others, paled at the sight of two long scratches down the back of her leg, blood rolling down her leg and making Eddie stumble back slightly from the sight.

"Shit," Richie muttered, his eyes filling with concern as he looked at Y/N and gulped.

Y/N's injury only seemed to fuel Bill's rage and he shook his head before storming out of the garage with a new purpose. "Let's go," Bill demanded.

"Go? Go where?" Beverly asked.

"Neibolt," Bill explained and, not wanting to admit his feelings for Y/N and how desperately he wanted to kill that clown for harming her or his brother, added, "That's where G-G-Georgie is."

"After that?" Stan asked appalled as he held his cousin up steady beside him. "After Y/N just got hurt?"

"Yeah, Y/N's hurt and we should help her. Besides it's summer, we should be outside. . ." Richie said.

"If you say it's summer one more f-f-f-fucking time," Bill muttered before letting his eyes flicker over his friends. Each one of them obviously wanted to stay right where they were and it made Bill even angrier than he already was. But then his eyes had landed on Y/N and his face softened ever so slightly as he noticed the utter pain in her eyes as she tried to limp forward and to him.

Shaking his head and knowing that not only would his friends not come, but that he couldn't allow Y/N to face that clown again, Bill turned around and grabbed his bike before beginning to bike away.

"Bill?" Y/N called after the boy, shoving Stan's grip away from her as she desperately tried to limp forward as fast as she could just to stop the boy from leaving by himself. "Wait!"

But Bill was already gone.

- - -

It took a minute for Y/N to convince Stan to let her on to his bike and another few minutes of convincing Eddie to allow her to leave with only a bandage lazily thrown over her wound, but the group was eventually biking after Bill side by side until they reached the Well House. Y/N could see Bill walking up the old stairs and her eyes widened before she yelled out, "Bill!"

Bill turned around in surprise, his eyes locking on Y/N who struggled to get off Stan's bike before she limped over to the stairs as fast as she could, wincing as she did. "Bill, you can't go in there," Y/N pleaded as she reached the stairs. "At least not alone."

Bill looked to the girl with surprise still evident on his face but it quickly washed away once he heard Beverly cry out, "This is crazy." Beverly and the others were behind Y/N in seconds and Bill frowned as he looked at the group.

"Look, you don't have to come in with me, but what happens when another Georgie goes missing, or another Betty or another Ed Corcoran or one of us? Are you just going to pretend it didn't happen like everyone else in this town? Because I can't. I go home and all I see is that Georgie isn't there, his clothes, his toys, his stupid stuffed animal but he isn't. So walking into this house for me. . .it's easier that walking into my own," Bill told them, his voice steady although he had tears in his eyes.

Bill then turned and finished walking up the stairs while Y/N watched him go with a sad look on her face. Her leg was on fire, but she didn't care at the moment because all that mattered was Bill.

"Wow," Richie muttered.

"What?" Ben asked.

"He didn't stutter once," Richie pointed out.

No one made a move to go after the boy and Y/N glanced at her friends before shaking her head and limping over to the stairs. It was a struggle to get up the stairs, but now that the adrenaline was coursing through her body and the initial pain of the injury was gone, it was bearable enough for her to be able to get through the pain for this.

Bill heard the footsteps before he could get to the door and he turned, his face softening at the sight of Y/N limping up the stairs. He didn't even hesitate before going over and holding a hand out for her. She took it and he helped her up the rest of the stairs before she stumbled slightly into him. Bill was quick to steady her and the two stared at each other in silence before Y/N gave him a small nod and whispered, "I'm with you."

Her words were enough to make Bill smile and his heart couldn't help but skip a beat as his feelings for the girl grew even more. He couldn't even find it in himself to tell the girl she couldn't come, for the way she looked at him dead in the eye and the seriousness of her voice was enough to tell him that she really would be by his side through this all, that she wouldn't let him do this alone even if she was hurt.

Y/N eventually tore her eyes away from Bill and looked to the others almost pleadingly and it didn't take much more than Bill's words and Y/N's pleading stare to have them start moving toward the stairs.

"Wait!" Stan cried out, instantly stopping everyone in their tracks. "Uhhh, shouldn't we have some people keep watch. You know, just in case something bad happens?"

Y/N didn't blame her cousin for not wanting to go into that house. After all, a small part of herself was telling her to grab her cousin and get on his bike before pedaling far away. But something was stopping her from doing so and she actually found herself wanting to go in there and kill that clown herself.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Who wants to stay out here?" Bill asked and everyone in the group except for Bill, Beverly, and Y/N raised their hands. Richie was the first one to notice this and sighed as he lowered his hand.

"Fuck."

* * *

Permanent Tag List

@marvelismylifffe @purplelittlepup @amberkay284 @blogforhoes @artlovingbre @the-story-of-the-tucks @you-s-suckbowers @thisismythirdblogandihatethat

Series Tag List

@starshininginthedark @luckygirl144 @tinycolorwhispers @deviantly-gayy @jacinta-lexianne @foxykatniss123 @nightbu-g @kielemarie @princessserena23 @spiritsent @scamanderhoney @pheonix-nin @aphrcditeee @wednes-day-addams @lxdyred @spiderw1tch @rosi3e @taestheticwonnie @witch-of-all-things-soft @cedricisnotonfire @theamandarenee @hawkxyes @mysteryartisticwriter @winterphoenixsposts @motleyfuckingcruee @frozenhuntress67 @tenderlyunlikelyexpert @70sgubler @welcome-to-derry @queenmizusposts @loisers

[nervous-ninja]

Untitled (for now)

Kind of a part one of a one-shot. The second part of this is currently locked on a bricked coputer that I am hoping to be able to recover before I start rewriting it. 

Forgive me, I have not written like this in a long time. This is entirely for fun so not to be taken too seriously. 

Mew was trying for very hard to convince himself everything was fine. It wasn’t fine. 

“Cut!” Pique, the director, called out. “Again please.”

Another take. Mew took a deep breath and exhaled slowly though his nose. The scene that should have easily been done in two takes had somehow dragged into double digits. There wasn’t anything complicated or difficult about it. A short and simple shot of Tharn and Type at home in the evening. Type was supposed hold Tharn’s face, “I missed you” he would say, then cue a kiss. Nothing overly intense or complicated. A scene of domesticity punctuated by a kiss to communicate the particular sense of comfort and familiarity, the way messy and clumsy passions of early relationships ebb into something more deeply rooted, familiar, uncomplicated….

“Goddamnit!” Gulf cursed and let go of Mew’s face.

“Cut!” The director called again and an audible collective grunt of frustration resounded through the set. “OK everyone, let’s take five.”

Gulf slumped over, his face buried in his hands to muffle a flurry of mild curses, his right leg rapidly tapping the ground.

“Hey…Nong” Mew began, instinctively reaching a hand to rest on Gulf’s back, but his next words stuck in his throat as Gulf recoiled from him and abruptly stood up.  Without thinking Mew grabbed his wrist. “Gulf!” he exclaimed, his voice a lot louder than he meant it to be.

The younger man hesitated. He stared at Mew’s hand on his wrist as if at some strange animal. It occurred to Mew then that the whole set had gone quiet and were conspicuously avoiding looking in their directions.  “Let go please, Phi” Gulf said stiffly without meeting Mew’s eyes. His tone so uncharacteristically cold that Mew, startled, complied. He watched wide eyed as Gulf stormed off towards Mame and Pique. 

---

For three days Mew tried to convince himself there was nothing wrong and that he simply needed to stop overthinking things. When Gulf’s responses to his LINE messages became unusually short and perfunctory, single word answers, punctuated by long, painful waiting for any reply at all that sent Mew’s stomach into knots, Mew told himself it was fine. They were busy after all. Busier than they had ever been. More and more they were each branching out on their own. Between that and the shooting starting for season 2 they barely had time to catch their break. Mew himself had been more tired than usual. That’s all it was. It had to be.

When every call made went to voicemail and every attempt to do a video chat was rejected with a polite reason through text, like:

-- Sorry Phi, still at dance practice; Sorry Phi, dinner with family; Sorry Phi, need to sleep -- Mew told himself these were all perfectly reasonable excuses. Reasons, rather. They were very good reasons.

Don’t overthink it, he told himself again and again, even as found it harderand harder to eat. You know him. You trust him. He kept reminding himself as he compulsively shut down and restarting his LINE app just in case.

If something was wrong he would tell you. He tried to convince himself even as the lump in his throat became a rock in his chest and kept him awake and tossing into early hours of the morning.  

Calm down. He urged himself even as he rewound days and weeks in his head looking for clues to what he might have done to cause this. Terrified he missed something crucial. Terrified he messed up...again. Three whole days of this.

Last night as he lay awake at 2am he tried to convince himself it would all be fine. It was just that they hadn’t seen each other in far longer than any other time since they start their roles as Tharn and Type. He missed Gulf. He was looking forward to the next few days of shooting. They were scheduled to be on set together the whole time.  Once they saw each other finally things would be like before.  He couldn’t wait to fall back into their familiar patterns: their teasing and laughter, the way they always knew what the other was thinking with a single look, the easy way they fell into and around each other and how those moments felt like home. There were other things he looked forward to, things he often stopped short of dwelling on because these thoughts lead to rooms in Mews heart he wasn’t strong enough to go looking in, like:

The way they sometime abandoned themselves to their roles until the roles just became convenient excuses for….

Gulf’s over eager, hungry kisses that Mew relished and reigned in with reluctance before he lost himself completely and….

The way his Nong shyly broke eye contact after an intimate scene because the feeling overwhelmed him and it was all Mew could do not to…

He shook his head to clear it.

It was nearly 4 am by the time he finally fell asleep. Though calling what he did sleep would be somewhat generous.

In the morning Mew dragged himself to set. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this tired. For a moment he thought only of finding Gulf and taking him into his arms. This eagerness was quickly replaced by dread when he finally found him, but instead of coming to meet him, Gulf turned around and walked out of the room. 

When they were finally all but forced to be face to face because that is what the scene called for, Gulf greeted Mew with all the warmth one might show a store clerk. Yet still, Mew told himself that he was reading too much into things.  He tried to ignore the way his head ached, and his jaw tightened and his heart lurched when Gulf stiffened the first time Mew tried to touch him. 

Whatever flimsy wall of denial Mew had tried so desperately to build up till now had crumbled into a pathetic heap as pulled away from him with again.

 Something was wrong. Undeniably, unmistakably wrong.

“Wait!” Mew shot up and quickly closed the distance between them, interrupting the conversation Gulf was having with the director and Mame. He saw them both notice the way Gulf stepped back from him when he came close and it was all he could do not to panic. “Um, can you give us a second?” He asked politely of the two seniors.

“Will you tell me what the hell is going on?” Mew demanded, as soon as he felt they were out of earshot. The pleading in his own voice surprised him. “Would you look at me, please?” he added, fighting to restrain the tremor in his voice as he fought the muscle memory to reach out to him. 

Finally Gulf raised his eyes and for a moment Mew thought he saw Gulf’s face soften before he seemed to recover himself.  

“Nothing is going on. I asked if I can have a few minutes with the acting coach.” Gulf replied with feigned ease. Then, as if remembering, “You did great today.” he added and made such a poor attempt at a casual smile that Mew would have laughed if it hadn’t felt like a punch to the gut to realise Gulf, his Gulf, was lying to him. Mew opened his mouth to speak but could find now words.  Before Mew could protest, Gulf turned and walked off the set.

“Mew?”

It was P’Mame. She looked concerned.

“You ok?” She asked “I’ve been calling your name.” She said. “You’ve just been…standing there for a solid minute.” She added carefully. 

“Oh. Sorry. Yes I’m fine.” Mew gave a quick bow. “What’s going on?”

“Did N’Gulf tell you already?” She asked.

“Tell me what?” Mew asked, running a shaky hand through his hair. He was beginning to be very tired of being confused.

“We are not going to do any more takes of this scene today. He asked if we could shoot this one tomorrow.” She glanced at her watch “Since we don’t have a lot of time left today for anything else, P’Pique wants to do a few pickup shots of you from Scene 14. Is that alright?”

Mew looked at her for a moment, his mind turning over the last few minutes, waiting any of this to make sense and for the rushing pounding of blood in his ears to subside.

“N’Mew? Are you sure you’re ok?” She asked gently, putting a hand on his arm.

“Yes. Fine. Of course.” Mew stuttered a reply.  

When Mame narrowed her eyes at him and did not let go he tried again. 

“I’m fine. Really. Just…you know…. “ He trailed off hoping she would fill in the blanks and flashed what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He couldn’t be sure, but her expression suggested that whatever he looked like, reassuring was far from it. 

“Really. Just tired.” He said awkwardly. “I’ll go change now.”

“OK. One of the PAs will get you in five minutes for makeup.” She said, resigned.

Mew was grateful that these were only pick up shots. He tried to focus on the work and fought the urge to keep looking around or checking his phone every chance he got. Gulf never came back on set. As soon as Pique called it a day Mew catapulted off, rushing through his thank you’s, apologies and goodnights. He caught one of the PAs as she rushed passed him.

“Excuse me, Phi. Did N’Gulf go back already?” he asked her.

“I don’t think so. He was back there with P’Mame watching the dailies last I checked” She replied,nodding in the direction of the editing room. When Mew got there, the room was empty. 

There were no messages from Gulf and for a moment Mew reached for anger to try and dull the ache that was quickly becoming too steady in his chest. It hurt less to be angry. It worked for only a moment. When he saw no sign of Gulf’s things in the dressing area either, the anger he was holding on to gave way to simple, clear, sharp dread.

He paced the room as he dialled Gulf’s number. The call went straight to voicemail. Fuck. Mew thought

-- Mew: We need to talk.

He quickly typed into LINE and watched the message status change to read. He waited. Deciding suddenly to sit down before standing up again almost immediately. Time seemed to slow to a crawl.

-- Mew: I can’t make it right if I don’t know what I did.  He added when he could no longer bear the wait. Seconds felt like hours.

The “read”  confirmation hung there, mocking him.

He was about to send a more colourfully worded message when he saw the indicator that Gulf was typing a response.

-- Gulf: Can I stay at yours tonight?

Mew blinked in confusion and reread the message. “Gulf.” he groaned with annoyance.

-- Mew: We. Need. To. Talk.

He replied. This time the answer came quickly.

-- Gulf: Not like this. Tonight. Can I?

Well, Mew thought, at least they were getting somewhere.

-- Mew: Yes. Fine. Where are you?

-- Gulf: In the car. I took your keys.

Mew shoved tomorrow’s call sheet into his bag and all but ran towards the parking lot.

To be continued....

Update: part 2 now available here

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Track to the Future

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: E (explicit sexual content) Word count: 7675 @spideychelleweek​

Spideychelle Week Day 6: Only One Bed

Summary: Peter and MJ board the train to the academic decathlon tournament in New Orleans as friends, but after the booking company messes up Mr. Harrington's sleeping car room assignments and they're forced to share a compartment for the night, Peter hopes there's a chance they'll be more than friends by the time they have to, ahem, get off.

“…and if anyone needs anything at all during the night,” Mr. Harrington said, finally wrapping up his thorough Spending the Night on a Train Protocol, “Mr. Dell and I have compartments at either end of the car you’ll be sleeping in while your co-captains’ shared compartment is the first in the next car. Sometimes it’s easier to reach out to a peer if you’re experiencing any feelings of homesickness or stress ahead of tomorrow’s tournament. But remember, Mr. Dell and I are here to support you.”

“Nah, don’t knock on my door,” Mr. Dell said with a quick negative slice of his hand. “I’m taking a sleeping pill, you know the drill. I’ll also be putting my headphones on and turning the volume way up to sleep in a cocoon of music. I’m trying to spend as much of this trip as possible listening to jazz. By the time we roll into New Orleans, I’ll be fully immersed in the atmosphere.”

Peter’s eyes darted between the team’s chaperones as their group of ten sat crowded into adjacent booths in the dining car. The one person he was careful not to linger on was MJ. Things had been normal between them since boarding that afternoon―meaning they’d gotten in lots of quality moments of smiling at each other and looking swiftly away―until Mr. Harrington sprung on them the fact that they’d be sharing a sleeping cabin. Apparently, the train had double-booked a room, leaving the Midtown Academic Decathlon contingent one short. Their teachers (mostly one of them, after Mr. Dell begged not to be dragged into ‘this snafu’) had decided the best course of action was to pair up the captains. Surely, these were their two most responsible individuals. That’s what Peter assumed Mr. Harrington had been thinking. That and he probably hadn’t noticed the way Peter and MJ had been dancing around each other the past few months; as long as students were present, still breathing, and had all their limbs attached, he seemed satisfied. But Peter knew that he and MJ were going to have to be the real adults here and eventually confront the fact that they’d be spending the night on top of each other. Because bunk beds.

“Yeah, come find me or Peter if you need us,” MJ chimed in. Though her expression told Peter she was reluctant, the same instinct for leadership that made her a good captain was forcing her to speak up now. “Or text or something. I’ll keep my phone on.”

“Did you pack a phone charger?” Flash asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Yes.”

“Can I use it?”

“I’m offering you emotional support, not access to my belongings. Some things are sacred.”

“Pfft,” Flash scoffed. “You just don’t want me showing up to ask for it. Scared I’ll interrupt something while you and Penis are shacked up together?”

Ned laughed loudly.

“MJ and Peter?” he asked doubtfully. “Are you kidding? Those two aren’t into each other at all.”

Peter appreciated that his best friend was trying to cover for him (he’d kept Ned abreast of his crush on MJ as it developed), but this was verging on overcompensation and it’d only make Flash more suspicious. Subtly, Peter shook his head to tell Ned to cut it out and his friend fell silent.

“Please, everyone, just go to your rooms,” Mr. Harrington implored. “I’ll be around to check on each of you over the next twelve to fifteen minutes. Don’t switch rooms, don’t get up unless you’re using the bathroom or asking for help, and please, please do not fall off the train.”

“How do you think they’re going to manage that?” Mr. Dell wondered.

“Things happen, Julius. Be thankful you haven’t seen what I have.”

“I was there for that Mysterio nonsense in Europe, remember? I’ve seen plenty.”

“But not everything…” Mr. Harrington trailed off hauntingly. Peter and Ned exchanged a look that said, is this guy ok?

On that note, everyone trooped to the sleeping car with their bags and said goodnight to each other. By the end of the car, there were just Peter’s footsteps ahead and MJ’s behind. He touched the door to open it and the two of them stepped into the vestibule between cars. There was a loud rattle of the train in motion, not muffled like it was in the cars, and it suddenly felt as though they were very much separated from everyone else. Now would probably be a good time to break the ice over them sharing a room. When Peter turned around, MJ was right there, waiting for him to press the other door and let them into their car. His mouth opened, but he froze. Giving him a look like he was being a weirdo, she reached around him and opened the door herself. Peter laughed awkwardly and proceeded.

“So, this one, I guess,” he said as they came to the door of the first room. “Should we…” He glanced at the floor, then quickly up into his co-captain’s difficult-to-read face. “MJ, should we talk about how strange this is? Us sharing this tiny room?”

She nodded slowly, giving him a tight smile.

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Peter continued.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” MJ promised quickly.

“You’re not?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, ok. Great.”

They were still looking at each other, still standing in the corridor instead of either one of them moving to open their door.

“It’s relaxing,” MJ offered after a few seconds of silence.

Peter perked up a little, pushing his shoulders back.

“Sharing a room with me?”

“Being on a train. Quiet, you know? Hey, you ever read Murder on the Orient Express?”

“No, but I’m guessing somebody gets murdered?” Peter ventured.

“That’s the gist of it,” she agreed.

Was she afraid that was going to happen to them? Had she only taken the step of reaching out to their teammates because she was the one who was scared?

“Nothing’s going to happen,” he assured her.

MJ sighed.

“You’re probably right. We’re not that lucky.”

Peter was still puzzling over that comment―was MJ saying it’d be unlucky for all of them to reach Louisiana alive?―as she let them into their room. He looked around her to take it in. There really wasn’t much of it to take in. She’d said she wasn’t uncomfortable, but he was sure his instinct to lighten the mood wasn’t misplaced. Should he joke about the small space being cozy? No, that sounded like he was trying to imply something romantic. Talk about the tournament tomorrow and completely ignore their forced intimacy? No, he was too tired to keep that up for long, especially if she offered to run through practice questions with him. Maybe rock-paper-scissors to choose bunks? Yeah, that was an immediate and practical problem that needed to be solved.

He was looking around for an out of the way spot to shove his bag as he asked, “You want top or bottom?”

“Uhhhh,” MJ replied.

“You can think about it while I go brush my teeth,” Peter offered, finding a spot for his bag, then reaching in for his pajamas and toiletry kit.

“Oh, that’s not indecision you hear in my voice. Look.”

He straightened up at her instruction. She was pointing at the wall, where what he’d taken at a glance to be the second bed, ready to fold down, was placed. He looked closer. Oh shit. It wasn’t a bed. Or, it didn’t exactly look like one. Peter would’ve investigated further, but MJ was already kicking her shoes off and climbing up to stand on the bottom (only?) bunk for a closer inspection. She flipped what was supposed to be the top bunk down and it came with a clatter and a cascade of straps.

“It’s for luggage,” she informed him.

Oh, he heard her, but he still heard himself ask, “What?”

“Like a thing you put your bag on and, I don’t know, strap it down so it doesn’t land on your head while you’re sleeping.”

“So, it’s not a bed.”

MJ clipped the not-a-bed into place, dropped back to the floor, and rolled her eyes at him. Yeah, that had sounded pretty stupid, but the comment hadn’t really been for her; it was more Peter’s way of verbally processing their current circumstances. Those being: two co-captains and one bed that looked proportionate to the room. But the room was tiny, which meant the bed was narrow as hell and probably not intended for two people, even when those two people planned to share it, because physical contact was no big deal for them, because their relationship was at that stage, because they didn’t have to look away from each other whenever they started to hold the stare just a little too long. Fuck, Peter was freaking out.

“Um,” he told MJ, flailing his pajamas and toiletries around, “why don’t you… and I’ll…” Peter jerked his thumb towards the door and, nodding like there’d been some kind of agreement made, exited their room while his co-captain gave him an odd look.

In the corridor, he almost screamed.

“You guys are first up on my bedtime check-ins list!” Mr. Harrington announced, looking up from a clipboard.

“Oh,” Peter replied.

“Yep, no pressure, but I came to you and MJ first because I’m counting on you to put me at ease. Please don’t tell me there’s anything wrong with your room,” he added, voice turning desperate.

“What room? Oh, our room? The room MJ and I are sharing? Well, it…” He swallowed. “It’s great. Small, you know, but, um, definitely has two beds.”

“Do you want me to take a quick peek inside?” his teacher offered. “I’ve led dozens of student trips and I’ve gotten pretty darn good at spotting damaged amenities, traces of bedbugs… Not that I could really do anything for you at this point. The room’s already booked and there isn’t another one the two of you could switch to. I suppose you could take my room while I slept in a seat on one of the cars, but of course, mine only has the one bed.”

“That’s ok. Everything’s good. Nothing’s broken or bedbuggy.”

Mr. Harrington was still looking at Peter like he was waiting for him to stop putting on a brave face and let the adult do a quick sweep. He should probably let him. MJ had put the luggage rack back the way they’d found it and they could pretend they hadn’t discovered it wasn’t a second bed yet. That would be the honest thing to do, and very possibly the thing MJ would want him to do. It was just that instinct was telling Peter to protect this secret opportunity. This very innocent chance for them to… bond and stuff. He wasn��t really sure, he didn’t have a plan, but all of his plans that involved MJ involved figuring out how to get closer to her, not how to run away. Figuring out how to share a single bed in a cramped room with an entire night ahead of them was basically the Chance for Closeness jackpot. If she disagreed, she could easily storm out and go to Mr. Harrington. Or slap Peter right across his opportunistic face. Or pretend to be cool with it, wait ‘til he fell asleep, and get her revenge by squeezing his entire tube of toothpaste into one of his shoes, or cutting holes in all his boxers. (He was ready to swear that one wasn’t sexual; he’d just had some very specific nightmares when their entire acquaintance was about him being wildly intimidated by her, before they became friends and he evolved to being only moderately intimidated.)

“It’s no trouble,” Mr. Harrington promised.

“MJ’s changing in there right now,” Peter blurted. It was the perfect excuse and came to him on the spot. “You could come back after you check the other rooms, but we’ll probably be fine. Anyway, MJ and I are both, um, mature enough to ask for help if we need it. No need to worry about us.”

He gave his teacher a tense, closed-lipped smile. Mr. Harrington seemed relieved.

“See you both in the morning then.”

“Yep, no problem!”

The second their chaperone was gone back into the other car, Peter opened the door and saw a flash of MJ’s stomach.

“What are you doing?” she yelped.

“What are you doing?” he shot back, hastily turning away and shutting the door of their little compartment.

“Putting my pajamas on! You just told Harrington I was in here changing!”

“Yeah, well, if you heard that then you know I told him a lot of things I didn’t think were true!”

“The presence of more than one bed may be a blatant lie, but didn’t you consider that I might actually be changing? I’m done, by the way,” she concluded in a less indignant tone.

Peter turned back around. Before he could stop himself, his gaze zoomed down her body. Her oversized t-shirt read ‘MICHELLE OBAMA’S ARMS BRAIN’ and her loose turquoise shorts just about disappeared under its hem. With wide eyes, he forced his gaze back to MJ’s face.

“Put yours on,” she suggested, eyes flicking to his and away.

Ok, this was it. This wasn’t the way he’d expected it to go. He’d though there’d be some kind of conversation first, or at least an acknowledgement of their feelings. Carpe diem, Peter guessed. He took a deep breath―probably the deepest he’d ever taken when he wasn’t dressed as Spider-Man and attempting to lift something heavy―and peeled his t-shirt off.

“Oh my god, nerd, in the bathroom, not here! Don’t make me regret staying quietly in this room while you lied to our teacher’s face.”

Flustered, Peter threw on the shirt he’d brought to sleep in and left the room without picking the other one up from the floor. In the bathroom at the far end of the car, he brushed his teeth, then stared at his face in the mirror for a minute, pausing for comprehension that didn’t come. What was happening? What had happened in that room? What would happen when he went back? It would probably have been helpful to talk this through with Ned, but MJ was waiting for him to let her know the bathroom was free. She was also most likely waiting for him to explain what the fuck his thought process had been in assuring Mr. Harrington that there were two beds, since she obviously had not been expecting Peter to start taking his clothes off in front of her. Though she’d definitely looked when he had. He’d noticed that.

This time, he knocked before entering.

“You’re done with the bathroom?” MJ checked, folding her toothbrush and toothpaste into a facecloth.

“Brushed my teeth and everything. You wanna taste the mint? Smell,” Peter corrected, blushing ferociously. “Smell the mint. Never mind. You don’t wanna do that.” He started to raise his hands apologetically as she slipped past him to open the door. “Forget I―”

He shut up instantly when his rising hand brushed her breast through her t-shirt. Shit. His eyes locked on hers as his lips parted to apologize, but MJ fisted the front of his shirt and tugged him into a quick, firm kiss. She broke it and released him.

“Probably a good idea if we talk about this when I get back,” she muttered and fled.

Alone in their room, Peter would’ve done a backflip if he’d had the space. Option B was repacking his bag and mentally cataloguing the potential lab injuries listed on his Chemistry class WHMIS test as a method of subduing the erection that had started to perk up when MJ grabbed his shirt like that. So maybe her reaction to him undressing had been more shock than anger or violation. She’d certainly repaid him for that; Peter was still a little stunned and his lips tingled like he’d been punched in the mouth. Punched very softly. By the mouth of the girl he had a huge crush on. He ran a finger across his lips as he zipped his bag back up. Then, there was nothing to do but… stand? Lean against the wall? Was sitting totally out of the question, since the one logical spot he could sit was on the bed they had yet to fully address? What the hell―he gave it a try. Immediately, his bare foot was jumping against the floor. Crap, should he have left his socks on? Was the floor of a train compartment as ready to give him nefarious foot diseases as the college residence showers May had already started warning him about, almost an entire year early? He wedged his bare feet back into his sneakers and stood with his arms anxiously crossed. MJ didn’t take long.

“Counter proposal,” she suggested as she stepped into their room and set her things on a teeny ledge that Peter didn’t know the purpose of.

He would’ve asked what was being countered, but MJ had him pushed against the wall in a second, her mouth planted back on his. Now they both tasted like mint. She was seriously not helping with his efforts to not have a boner right now. The fact that he was utterly amateur in the issue of how to hold a girl in a passionate embrace, and the evidence that she didn’t have any more experience kissing than he did (she kept catching his lip with her teeth and he wasn’t sure either of them knew whether it was intentional), didn’t actually seem to matter that much. His hands ended up on her hips, which wanted to tilt naturally towards his, and the fervour of her kisses calmed to something more enjoyable and bite-free when she appeared to overcome the way she’d surprised herself by kissing him in the first place.

“No,” she said, breathless as she drew back―his mouth might’ve chased puppyishly after hers for a second. “No, we should probably talk. I was right the first time. Counter proposal withdrawn.”

“Uh, withdrawal accepted,” Peter replied. He was dazed, his heart was kicking against his ribs, and if MJ looked down, she would see that part of him was still in favour of proceeding in a way that didn’t involve speech.

She huffed out a breath, fluffed a hand exasperatedly through her hair, and started packing away her bathroom paraphernalia. Meanwhile, he stood against the wall with a hard-on and watched her carefully seal her wet facecloth into a Ziploc bag. His brain was horniness and confusion. Finally, crouched on the floor by her luggage, MJ twisted to look up at him.

“I let you tell Mr. Harrington that there were two beds in this room,” she recapped. It wasn’t quite a question, but Peter nodded just in case she wanted the confirmation.

“You can go tell him something different.”

“Nah, I don’t really want to.”

“I could leave and you could keep this room, or maybe you could share with Betty, or―”

“I said I don’t want to,” MJ repeated. She moved to sit on the bed.

“So… what do we do?”

Peter was very curious about what her solution might be, mostly because he wasn’t 100% clear on what the problem was. If neither of them was bothered by the absence of a second bed and both of them had avidly participated in that tragically curtailed make-out session… well. He felt there were certain courses of action that would seem reasonable. But he didn’t trust himself to have a solid grip of what was going on, not when he remained semi-hard in his pajama bottoms and stared at MJ’s mouth as frequently as into her eyes.

“We… would have to share?” This time it was definitely a question and Peter nodded more slowly to acknowledge that question, rather than to agree with it outright.

“If you want both of us to stay, then, yeah. I don’t really want to sleep on the floor and I can’t stay awake all night with the tournament tomorrow.”

“And how would you feel about sharing?” MJ’s eyes darted to his face and down to her lap where she pulled her t-shirt down her thighs. It looked like she was doing it more for something to do than out of any inclination towards modesty. Also, the eye-contact avoidance said she was a little insecure about what his answer might be.

“I would feel, I would feel really good about it,” Peter stuttered out. She met his eyes.

“I like you,” MJ blurted.

“Me too. You.”

He smiled and she patted the bed at her side with an awkward, sarcastic expression. He took her invitation and stepped forward with a lurch to sit next to her. His gaze trailed down her arm to witness her gripping the edge of the bed with both hands. Her shoulders hunched, then shrugged back down.

“We’d be in pretty deep shit with a lot of people if anyone knew this was happening right now,” she speculated.

Peter laughed.

“Definitely.” He cleared his throat. “And, uh, what exactly is happening?”

MJ looked at him. Slowly, she reached for his face, turned and angled it to her liking, then gradually leaned in and, very softly, kissed him for the third time.

“Oh, ok,” he said as she drew back. “So the talking didn’t mean the kissing wasn’t going to continue.”

“I was trying to be responsible first.”

“Right. Co-captains.”

“There are expectations for our conscientiousness. And I will drop you like a hot potato if you threaten anyone’s belief in my conscientiousness.”

“You will?”

MJ smiled in a familiar way.

“You’re messing with me,” Peter realized, also smiling and rocking back slightly to scan the ceiling.

“About everything but the hot part.”

He straightened up immediately, completely focused on her.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. That’s really going to be a problem,” she said thoughtfully. Peter frowned. “For when we lie down on this thing―” MJ swatted the bed. “―and see what happens if we keep kissing.”

“I’m sorry my attractiveness is such a drawback for you,” he joked.

“I’d be better at resisting temptation if temptation didn’t have ridiculously chiseled abs.”

He puffed out a laugh and presented her with a lopsided smile, struggling between feeling embarrassed and really fucking thankful that he appealed to her in such a shallow way. For self-congratulation, he gave himself two whole seconds of side-eyeing the peaks of her boobs through her t-shirt.

“Actually, I’m not that clueless about what would happen,” she confessed. “I think it’d be pretty impossible for me to lie beside you and be chill about it.”

“That’s fine with me,” Peter promised eagerly, “but we don’t have to lie down right away.”

He reached over and let his hand hover above her knee until MJ grasped it and brought it down to rest on her cool skin. It took the shortest glance to make him lean into her space and kiss… her cheek, chickening out a little after all the talk about the obvious proceedings from the second they were horizontal together. Peter wanted that―he definitely wanted that―but he also really liked sitting in this moment with her, knowing that she wanted that too. And that she would be alright with him kissing her, if that was another thing he wanted. He did. The hand he didn’t have on her knee lightly cupped her face as Peter skimmed his lips down to her mouth. There, that was better, he thought, as MJ sighed against his lips.

Slipping his hand from her cheek around to the back of her head, he secured his fingers in her hair and pulled her mouth harder to his. She made a small sound that seemed to plunge straight down his throat and echo around in his stomach. Then, it plummeted even farther, stirring his groin. His hand tightened on her knee. Less tentatively than he would’ve expected (or had expected, in his fantasies of what kissing her would be like), MJ snuck her tongue into his mouth. At the feeling of their tongues gliding past and around each other, she became the one grabbing for him, hand low on the back of his neck. When she mirrored him by gripping his knee, Peter jumped, then smoothed his hand up her thigh as she twisted into him.

They were at an impasse for a second, or at least he was, fighting the urge to ease MJ onto her back and cover her body with his. No lying down; not yet. There was so much tension in their postures as they leaned into each other, gripping legs and necks and barely breaking the kiss long enough for a deeper inhalation. Even to Peter, it felt abrupt when he swung his legs up onto the bed. Though he had to swing them away from her, MJ understood―just like he’d expected―and climbed over to sit astride his thighs―just like he’d hoped. He was breathing stupidly hard as her eyes locked on his and she shuffled forward. His hands seized her hips, then her ass, and then he closed his eyes as they rolled back in his head because she was pressed right up against him and his fingers couldn’t trace the lines of any underwear through her cotton shorts. Something primal surged up from deep inside him and he narrowly managed to not start grinding into her.

“However this goes,” Peter panted, opening his eyes, “swear you’re not gonna murder me on this train. Or open our door to a murderer while I’m sleeping.”

“I swear. Strangely, this is better.” She smiled.

He didn’t know what was so strange about preferring feeling each other up over solving/committing a homicide. Then again, they did both kinda have a thing for violent crime.

“That’s reassuring,” he told her, hands hot on her butt. She shifted against him and he grunted.

“Sorry,” MJ said immediately. Peter choked out a laugh.

“That wasn’t a noise of pain.”

“Oh.”

Her smile returned―broader, slyer. She folded her arms around his shoulders and rocked her hips against his. When he gasped, MJ looked the most delighted he’d ever seen her. She kissed him and rolled her hips again, but this time, his hands on her ass kept her in place and he rolled his hips back, groaning as his erection rubbed against her through their pajamas. Somehow, she wriggled even closer, thighs clamped on either side of him and seemed to consciously and minutely reposition her hips. The next time they ground against each other, she went, “Unnh!” and he understood. His whole body flushed with heat.

Hastily, they started trying to take each other’s shirts off at the same time. MJ already had both hands up under the fabric and pressed to his chest by the time Peter had gotten a single hand past the drapey folds of her oversized choice. They were stuck again, neither able to proceed with the other’s hands on them.

“You want me to go first?” Peter asked.

“Better do mine first,” she said. “You’re going to have a tough time prying me away once your shirt’s off.”

He blushed at how matter-of-factly she’d said that.

“I have no idea why you think I’m going to do any better.”

“So I shouldn’t take mine off?” she checked.

“Definitely take it off.”

“You’re such a moron.”

“Mhmm,” he agreed absently, lifting the hem of MJ’s shirt as she wriggled her arms out of the sleeves. Once her hands were tucked away inside the big t-shirt, Peter tugged the whole thing straight off.

“Now you,” she said quickly, grabbing his shoulders so he couldn’t immediately tip forward and begin kissing all over her chest.

She couldn’t prevent him from staring though. He did that until MJ jerked the neck of his shirt up over his eyes and he was forced to help her divest him of it or else be blinded to anything that might follow. And he definitely wanted his sight, wanted his eyes wide open.

In the end, she didn’t let him stare that long; she got this overwhelmed look in her eyes and hugged herself to him, their chests flush. Peter imagined a kind of surface-level vibration, like what was holding them together was static cling and with every little brush, they were recharged. What to do with all that waiting energy? He put his hands back on her ass―roaming more now, curving to shape her hips and her backside―and guided her purposely against him. MJ’s thighs tensed around him as she took control of the movement until Peter was grasping without pushing or pulling. As her eyelids drifted down, he exhaled and listened to the wispy sounds of her moan-toned breaths and the clatter of the train around them, always in southward motion down the track. It was dark outside and the light in their sleeping compartment was low without an assist from the sun. Probably because, in a room this small with mysterious ledges and misleading luggage racks, they’d had a hard time figuring out where to put a lamp or a pot light that emitted a decent wattage. Whatever. This railroad mood lighting wasn’t the worst.

MJ’s fingers skated along his jaw for almost a full minute (any longer and he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from twitching away out of ticklishness) before they stilled with his face in her hands and she kissed him. Their mouths bumped and slipped, hungry and gentle. There was a note of distraction, Peter thought, thanks to their minds skipping ahead to the next part, making the kiss the bridge rather than the destination. Pressing his lips to hers was no longer the ultimate joy he could hope for. Suddenly, there could be more.

Her hands caressed down his neck, a slight quaver in her fingers, and dragged through his collarbones like she was scooping them out. She could’ve been. She could’ve run a finger along the length and blown after it, sending up blustery sawdust. Peter was no longer 100% certain that he’d had a clavicle before MJ had touched him. Moving his hands up to her waist because it felt like a more respectful place to let them rest on her and because bare skin beneath his fingertips, he kept up his end of their abstracted kissing as she explored across to his shoulders. His cock throbbed against her, impatient with her leisurely hands and lazy hips, only shallowly swaying now. When she broke the kiss with a hot pant against his lips, it was to look in his eyes while she discovered his chest, then pressed against it. He laid back like she wanted. His hands sailed down her thighs and squeezed right above her knees. Bizarrely, that was the action that woke him up to what was happening. There was no way to look up at MJ―mostly naked, straddling his lap, doing her best to keep her hair out of her face as she looked straight back down at him―except with more than a little bit of awe. He swallowed thickly.

She rocked a few times without breaking their stare, then said, “Should we get under the sheet?”

“Ok.”

It was less fumbling than it could have been, mostly because they moved so quickly. Peter was practically shaking with adrenaline after forcing himself to be still as MJ mapped him with her hands. Suddenly separate and next to one another, suddenly between two sheets like the flap of an envelope was about to be licked and sealed down over them. Send us anywhere, Peter thought. The room looked bigger like this, lying on his side with his back to the wall, but he only glanced. MJ swept across the bed like a shooting star in the sky for a kiss and they rapidly shed their bottoms. Her toes touched his, right after they’d gotten fully nude, and his abdomen clenched up, ready to support a thrust or to defend him from whatever was making him flinch like that. Well, screw that.

They kept kissing, making contact only up to their ankles, until Peter laid a cautious hand on her stomach.

“You want to keep going, right?” MJ asked, pulling back for a second. She’d tucked her arm beneath his neck and was systematically scratching her nails across every bit of his scalp, which was both comforting and erotic.

“For sure, yes, if you still do,” he babbled. He could feel her pulse hopping under his hand. He wanted to follow it down so bad.

“Alright then,” she said with a brisk nod, and grabbed his wrist to make his fingers stumble south.

Peter’s mouth fell open and part of him wanted to snatch his hand back because her expression was petrified. But then, it might’ve been that way because she was worried that he didn’t want to touch her like this, in which case removing his hand would make her feel way, way worse. It would’ve been good for him to ask for verbal confirmation here, but the part of his brain that put words together and held their hands until they’d successfully departed his mouth was broken right now. Because MJ had put his hand between the warmth of her thighs, allowing his fingers to graze and his palm to cover the intimate texture of hair. He could feel the questioning look on his face and, apparently in response to it, she piloted his hand a little lower, into the realm of the arousal she must’ve worked up grinding against him. His other hand clenched into a fist as his drive to be inside her swelled like his restless erection.

It was nerve-wracking, so much pressure not to touch her too lightly or too rough―and besides that, to make it somehow feel good for her. That he wanted very badly. Peter was out of his depth. That was when, as usual, MJ swooped in to lend him a literal hand without fuss. Her thighs parted further for him and, with her fingers directing his, he felt the soft creases and curves start to make sense. Gradually, he moved faster, dipped deeper, and nearly shouted victoriously when he accidentally flicked something that, by MJ’s sharp breath and the buck of her hips, was her clit. He ran his fingers across her entrance to wet them and flicked again, slowing to a tap, then a knead when she responded well (death grip on his wrist). Working up the nerve to probe his middle finger gently inside her came with a wealth of rewards: hitched breathing, her hand sliding precariously far down his abs, and a tight heat that his dick was longing for with more urgency than ever now that he knew precisely what it felt like.

Lying so that both his hands were down where he needed them to be wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but the way MJ gasped and then quietly moaned his name when he had the dexterity of extra fingers to offer her made it worthwhile. He could now continue fingering her from the inside while also pressing fingertips to her clit. Rewetting them after every few swipes made her gasp and writhe against his hands all over again. When she abruptly said, “Faster,” the finger inside her froze and he worked her clit double then triple time as she folded into him, forehead on his chest, and unceremoniously grasped his dick.

“You can’t do that right now,” he laughed, lightheaded. MJ’s fingers, fully around his erect penis. Avengers fucking assemble because this was not a drill.

At his plea, her hand darted to his hip instead, gripping even more firmly as, incredibly, Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man on a Train, aka Friendly Neighbourhood Third Baseman) brought her to orgasm. Her hips jerked and she made muffled hiccupping noises from where he couldn’t see her face and he thought to introduce a second finger to give her something to, holy shit, ride? He guessed? This was insane. Had the feeling of freedom from a school trip made this happen? Did people just get extra horny on trains? He was so glad the train company had fucked up Mr. Harrington’s ticket reservation to stick Peter and MJ in a single room for a night.

“We should,” she began, lifting her head with a blush of warmth and maybe self-consciousness after she’d sagged into herself and he’d removed his hands uncertainly, “discuss logistics.”

“Oh,” Peter said, surprised. “Oh, I guess, yeah. Logistics. Right.”

“What I mean is―”

He cut MJ off with a short kiss of determined pressure. Going straight into talking about logistics actually didn’t feel right, not when he’d just had her in his hands like that. This shouldn’t feel like business; it was affection. He really cared about her. Seeing and feeling and hearing what Peter had just seen, felt, and heard was monumental. Would she be his girlfriend after this? Should he ask her right now?

“Go ahead,” he urged with a smile, foregoing mention of the other stuff for the moment. It wasn’t business. They didn’t require a pause to agree on the parameters.

Plus, MJ was flustered now, which was amazing and adorable.

“I…” She trailed off when he found her hand under the sheet and held it. With a resolute tilt of her head, she took another run at her sentence, “I did not happen to pack condoms. Did you? Also, I’m not on birth control. I didn’t really know this was, um, going to happen.”

Peter kissed her again, for longer, at the vulnerable expression on her face.

“Me neither,” he promised. “Definitely a surprise.”

“So, you are equally ill-equipped?”

Instantly, he frowned.

“Technically, but it’s so harsh to say it like that! I’m not sure you would’ve been super thrilled if I had had condoms.”

“I would’ve been suspicious,” MJ confirmed, looking suspicious of him even as she spoke the words.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Do you think they sell them on the train?” Apparently, they were switching gears.

“I don’t know. Do you really want to be wandering around trying to buy condoms and have Mr. Harrington catch you though?”

“Hmm. Good point. So, what are our options?”

He was cooling down after the frenzy of getting her off and reflexively shifted towards her. The move made them both instinctually awkward, unsure where to touch and hyper-aware that their faces had never been this close before tonight. They were just existing with their faces close now, like this was their normal. Peter kept tight hold of her hand and basically willed himself to wade forward into talking this out.

“We could just not do anything else,” he suggested first, internally pleading with her not to go that route.

“Obviously, we can stop if you want to, but I’m kind of dying to see what you look like when you, you know.”

Peter was speechless for a moment.

“Uh, well, I mean…” He scratched the back of his head. “I could pull out?”

“And just… on the sheet?” She asked, avoiding his eyes (he assumed―he was kinda avoiding hers too).

“Yeah, then I’ll take it off and rinse it in the bathroom, we sleep on the top sheet and get that blanket―” He pointed to where one was tucked against the wall, ready for use. “―to put over us.”

MJ snorted a laugh.

“What is it?” he asked uneasily.

“I totally forgot we’re actually going to sleep together after this. You’re not missing the joke. That shouldn’t be funny, it just is for some reason.”

He grinned.

“Yeah, it kind of is.”

“You really bold-faced lied to Mr. Harrington, huh? The team should admire you. What a rebel leader you are. Don’t―” she added, raising a finger to his lips as he started to reply. “―say anything about Star Wars. I will definitely never have sex with you on a train again if you do.”

Peter shook his head.

“I’m not risking that.”

For a quiet minute, they adjusted their bodies to bring them even closer. He liked her eyelashes and how her mouth sloped naturally down at the corners; she seemed to be tracing the path of freckles across his cheek and over his nose.

“Do any of the people in that murder book have sex on the train?”

“Who cares?” MJ said. “They’re not real. We are.”

Their fingers slipped, only loosely entwined now, as their concentration returned to yielding kisses, lips moulding effortlessly together. Peter’s free hand stole up the back of her neck and when he shifted his weight subtly into hers, not even completely aware that he was asking, she answered, tipping onto her back.

“I’ll pull out,” he reaffirmed as her thighs were parting for his hips and he was positioning himself at her entrance by hand.

“I trust you, Peter,” she said in a nonchalant tone.

“I trust you.”

“It’s not a competition,” MJ complained and he let her have the last word because she’d probably said it out of the same nerves he was feeling as he eased the head of his dick inside her.

They both shifted slightly and settled. She laughed when he swore out of sheer bliss, pitching forward a little and drawing back, then he laughed at the sound of her laughing. Somehow, in all that, he ended up completely inside her and she pressed her hands to his back like maybe she really needed him and didn’t want him to go anywhere, even after the sex and the happenstance of a shared room. That would be really, really great.

The sex wasn’t perfect: for all MJ’s evident enjoyment, Peter didn’t have the inherent, untested talent or beginner’s luck to see her climax again and, of the two times she tried to kiss him while he was thrusting, she bonked their heads together on the first and brutally clicked their teeth on the second. They laughed some more. They were a mess. They were, possibly, each other’s.

He finished on the sheet like he’d promised and it felt wrong and gross enough that he’d be buying condoms before they did this again, but it also felt sort of hot the way MJ watched him pump doggedly through the circle of his own fingers until he groaned her name. The follow-up logistics were another mixed bag of sexy and unsexy. Peter threw his pajamas back on, bundled the sheet to his chest with the wet part deep in the center, and bolted to the bathroom to give it a hasty dip in the sink. But he returned to the sight of MJ remaking their bed in her PJs, complete with her sleepy smile. He figured out the light switch and crawled in beside her. Something unexpectedly tender in his chest squeezed when he learned that this tall, coolly critical girl took obvious comfort in being the little spoon. Her body went soft with his arm around her; he fell asleep with his nose and mouth resting against the back of her neck.

The alarm MJ had set on her phone got them up half an hour before they had to meet their team and teachers the next morning. First, Peter let his arm go slack so she could roll over to face him without leaving his embrace.

“Hey,” she said with her eyes barely open.

“Will you be my girlfriend now?”

He could only guess that she’d have given him a look that more clearly called him an idiot if they hadn’t just woken up.

“Yeah, ok.” was the response MJ went with instead.

Peter shook his head with bleary exasperation at how lukewarm her words were, but then she snuck her hand into his pajama pants and really damn quickly worked out how to give him a handjob. Long story short, they desecrated another sheet and were still on time for breakfast (only because they ran).

After everyone had finished eating and Mr. Harrington had delivered a heartfelt-yet-underwhelming pep talk for the day, they were sent back to their rooms to pack up their stuff. They’d be arriving in New Orleans within the hour.

“Are you disappointed there weren’t any crimes last night?” Peter asked with a smile as they repacked their luggage side by side.

“Well, I could say I stole your virginity,” she pointed out, nearly making him catch his hand in the zipper as he closed his bag. MJ gave him a sly sideways glance. “But virginity is a construct. And you were more than willing to give it up.”

She mercifully interrupted his ensuing stuttering with a kiss that he hoped would become a habit. (The kissing, not the stuttering.) His head was hazy with the idea as he jerked the clasp of their door and slid it open for the last time. To find Flash standing in the hall.

“’Sup, Penis, or should I call you ‘Big Easy’ after you two were somehow allowed to share a room?”

Peter stiffened, but he was hellbent on not giving anything away. He rolled his eyes and assumed MJ did the same as they pushed past Flash with their bags and opened the door to the vestibule. He sincerely, stupidly believed that dickhead was following them and that they were in the clear. But as he went to close the door behind them, he noticed Flash hadn’t followed. At Peter’s alarm, MJ joined him in glancing back into the car they’d just left. Flash had his hands braced on the doorframe of their compartment, leaning into the room.

“Wait a second! That other thing’s not a bed!”

The door closed. They stared at each other.

“Oh man, Flash is gonna tease the crap out of us. Do we run?” he asked.

“That’s a dumb plan.” She paused. “And I don’t have another one.”

Their oblivious classmates were emerging from their rooms and Peter and MJ jostled them thoroughly as they booked it down the corridor towards the front of the train.

[antiadvil]

i AIM 2 b w/ u

summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.

But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.

rating: PG13

wc: 4k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)

read on ao3 or under the cut

Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.

His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.

danisnotonfire: hey

amazingphil: hi!!!

He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.

amazingphil: what r u doing?

danisnotonfire: im never doing anything

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes u r >.<

amazingphil: guess what im doing

danisnotonfire: what

amazingphil: guess >:(

danisnotonfire: no >:)

amazingphil: pls

danisnotonfire: hmm

danisnotonfire: maybe

amazingphil: hurry up

danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one

danisnotonfire: ok

danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels

amazingphil: no u spork

amazingphil: im picking out an outfit

danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0

danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?

amazingphil: i hate u

amazingphil: i have Plans today

Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.

danisnotonfire: you have Plans?

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: what r u doing?

Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.

danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train

danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry

danisnotonfire: c u?

He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.

The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.

His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.

When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.

The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.

“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.

The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”

“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”

The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”

“What’s your name?” Dan asked.

“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”

“Dan,” he said back.

“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”

Dan nodded. “What about you?”

Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”

“Wow,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”

Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.

“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.

“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.

They were silent for a few moments.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.

Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.

Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”

“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.

He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.

It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”

“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.

Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”

Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”

Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.

He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”

Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.

Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.

“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.

“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”

“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.

Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”

Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”

“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”

“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.

“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”

Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.

“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.

“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.

When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”

Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”

Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”

Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”

Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.

“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.

Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.

Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.

“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.

Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.

Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.

Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Phil whispered back.

“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.

“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”

Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.

phil: did u make it?

Dan smiled.

dan: yes

dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good

phil: :)

phil: b safe

dan: u 2

He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.

***

The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.

amazingphil: ur back!

amazingphil: where were u :0

Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.

danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno

amazingphil: D:

amazingphil: betrayal

Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.

And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.

danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too

danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?

amazingphil: :0

amazingphil: i guess i did

danisnotonfire: howd they go?

amazingphil: good :3

danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say

amazingphil: yes :P

amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest

danisnotonfire: :0

danisnotonfire: i would never

amazingphil: good

danisnotonfire: now tell me

amazingphil: no

danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ

amazingphil: :D

amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol

amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u

danisnotonfire: impossible

danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:

amazingphil: i could

amazingphil: law

amazingphil: textbooks

amazingphil: school

amazingphil: math

amazingphil: r u asleep yet

danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz

amazingphil: c? told u

danisnotonfire: ok ok

danisnotonfire: u win

Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.

amazingphil: im kinda tired actually

amazingphil: i think im going to bed

Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.

danisnotonfire: :(

danisnotonfire: good night!

amazingphil: good night!

He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.

***

He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.

phil: hey i have some free time this wknd

phil: i could visit maybe?

phil: if ur free 2

Dan smiled harder.

dan: im free :]

dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here

phil: theres u

Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.

dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u

phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday

phil: (i miss u 2 :3)

dan: call me? :3

Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”

“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.

“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”

“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”

Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”

Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.

“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.

Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”

“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”

Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?

“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”

“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”

***

Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.

Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.

Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.

Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.

“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.

Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.

Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”

Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”

Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”

Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”

“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”

Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”

Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”

Phil pouted.

Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”

Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”

Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

Phil giggled.

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.

“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”

“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.

Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”

Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.

Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.

Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.

Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”

“Better than Starbucks?”

Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.

Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”

Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.

Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dan looked up, confused.

“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”

Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.

Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.

When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.

***

When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.

Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?

Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.

He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.

danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: im back :D

danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: i had a good day :)

danisnotonfire: that’s good

amazingphil: i was thinking though

amazingphil: u know what’s weird

amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<

amazingphil: we should skype or something

danisnotonfire: we should

danisnotonfire: when?

danisnotonfire: like rn?

amazingphil: sure

amazingphil: if u want

amazingphil: im not doing anything

Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.

danisnotonfire: give me 5

He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.

Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.

He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.

He opened AIM again, composing a message.

danisnotonfire: ok im ready

danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too

He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.

“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”

Phil blinked. “Dan?”

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.

“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.

“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”

“Yeah.”

“And also Phil.”

“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.

Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”

“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”

Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”

Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”

“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”

“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”

Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”

“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”

Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”

Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”

“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”

“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”

“Oh, blame it on me-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”

“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”

“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”

“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”

Dan had to agree that it was.

[bigcat-hanson]

Long Way From Home [Part Five] | Arin Hanson X Reader

After almost 20 years, you finally find the childhood friend that you were forced to give up, but would reconnecting now be a good thing?

Word count: 1339

TW: mentions of blood/wounds

Your head hurt, your heart hurt, the palms of your hands stung and were covered in gravel and blood. Your wet clothes allowed the cold night air to bite. You couldn’t believe the seemingly never ending lies that your parents had told you, the rest of your family, Arin… 

What could you even believe anymore? Your life started feeling more and more like a sad cosmic joke.

“(Y/N), wait! (Y/N), I-...” Arin’s voice carried across the parking lot. He sounded frantic, almost like he was panicking. His footsteps started fast, but quickly slowed to a more hurried walk. By the time he was in front of you, they were slow and careful. You didn’t want to look at him anymore. Somehow, the gentle hand that he placed on your back made you cry harder. He could barely make out your words through the sobbing.

“I’m so sorry, Arin. I never wanted this. I never wanted to move away, I never wanted to leave you behind. They gave me no choice. They lied to you, they lied to both of us. I don’t know what’s real anymore, and I’m so sorry.” 

The hand on your back remained there for what felt like hours, the silence between you cutting deeper than the wounds on your hands. 

“You’re bleeding…”

“I’m blee-... fuck…” You finally took a good look at how bad your hands really were. Your palms were almost completely red, aside from the black spots of gravel that remained stuck in some places.

“There’s probably a first aid kit on the bus,” he offered. He sounded so nervous. He had been so excited and bubbly practically the whole day before this. It was almost unsettling. You nodded and wiped your eyes on your upper arm, allowing him to help you stand. The two of you made your way across the parking lot, your arms held out awkwardly to avoid bringing them into contact with anything.

It was a bit loud on the bus. Practically the whole group was chatting loudly about the night’s event, as well as the plans for their next destination. Someone was playing music from their phone and singing along. You stood awkwardly behind Arin as you entered, not wanting to draw attention to yourself.

“Hey Vernon, pass me that first aid kit,” he cut in, gesturing to the small white box on a wall towards the back. The man you could only assume was Vernon removed the box from the wall and tossed it to Arin. “Great, thanks. I’m gonna be out for awhile. I’ll be back before we head out.”

“Two hours, homie!” you heard Dan yell from somewhere in the back that you couldn’t see. Arin gave a silent wave to the crowd of people on the bus before gesturing for you to step out. Unsure of whether you were ready to face your coworkers yet after your odd exit, you decided that going back to your jeep was the best course of action.

Despite the fact that they were covered in blood, your fingers were unscathed enough to press the unlock button and pop the trunk open. The two of you sat yourselves in the empty space of the trunk, making sure to face each other so it was easier to fix your hands. 

“Son of a motherfuck-!” Your teeth clenched together as the water poured over your hands, taking some of the blood and gravel with it as it flowed onto the ground. “God, that’s so much worse than I thought it was,” you admitted, forcing yourself to laugh. Several small, deep cuts littered your palms. 

“I’m gonna have to put pressure on this,” he pointed out. You nodded, confirming you were ready, and for him to get it over with. The thick pads of gauze pressed into your left hand, sandwiched between yours and Arin’s. His free hand brought the wrapping around your wrist and winding around the rest of your hand. The burning pain continued as he wrapped the other one. 

“What a fun night.” Arin glanced up at you, seeming to smile a bit at your sad attempt at a joke. When the last of the bandages were properly fastened, you flexed your fingers to test their limits. It wasn’t very much. “Do you want to talk about this? Or would you rather we just go our separate ways and pretend like none of this happened?”

“I mean, considering I basically chased you out here, I’d say it’s safe to assume I want to know what the hell’s going on.”

“You and me both,” you scoffed, shaking your head. 

“I really thought you were dead or something, and now I’m sitting in your car with you after you worked one of my events, like… what the fuck is- what happened to you?”

“God, where do I even begin…”

Exact details were difficult to remember. You tried to give him the bullet points, telling him how your parents sent you to your aunt’s, how you were never allowed to contact anyone but your aunt and those in your new school after you arrived, your aunt’s resentment towards you, her sudden death while you were away at college… the most difficult part to piece together was the truth about what your parents had done, and why they had done it.

You tracked the emotions that passed over Arin’s face while you rambled on about your life story. The confusion, the sympathy, the anger… none of this would’ve happened had your parents just waited three years for you to move out.

“They lied to everybody and cut you off from everyone that gave a shit about you just so they could live out their bullshit dreams of living without kids in fucking Europe? That’s actually fucking disgusting. They had a funeral for you. I grieved your fucking death. That’s a huge part of why I moved here a while after that. I couldn’t be there anymore because of what happened. I-...”

“They had a funeral?” 

The look on his face was painful to see. His expression seemed somewhat far-off, as if he was reliving those moments in his head.

“It was probably one of the worst days of my life,” he admitted. Tears started to well up in his eyes. Both of you were snapped out of your confusion and sorrow by the sudden buzzing coming from Arin’s pocket. You could hear the words ‘fucking kidding me’ muttered under his breath as he read the text. “There’s bad traffic. We have to leave early so we can make it to our next show on time.”

“Where is it?”

“Albuquerque. It’s tomorrow night, but we have a lot of prep and shit to do during the day.”

“I can be there,” you blurted out. The words were out before you had the chance to think about what you were saying. “Nope, nevermind. That’s fucking weird. Shouldn’t have said that, that’s-”

“It’s a seven hour drive, I can’t let you do that. You just worked over twelve hours.”

“Wait… you’re not like, weirded out that I said that?”

“I’m kind of weirded out by a lot right now, but getting more time with you is the best thing I can imagine right now.”

“Ok, um… maybe I can find a flight? It’s pretty last minute, I don’t know if I’d be able to get there-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll find you a flight and pay for the ticket. You worry about packing what you need to bring. Actually, shit, we have a day between tomorrow’s show and the one after that. If you have the next two days off we could… here, I’ll give you my number so we can talk more about this. I have to get back to the bus, but I really want to see you in Albuquerque tomorrow.” His last few sentences were rushed as he wrote his number on a strip of gauze with a sharpie he had in his pocket. “I’m glad you’re alive, (Y/N).”

[breakingsomething]

october tenth - part three

ok so this one is 8.7k words so be warned. tagging @beebmo for inspiring this idea!

basic summary: aiden takes guitar lessons. jack meets a man in a store. both of them keep secrets and don't communicate, as per usual.

trigger warnings: blood, alcohol, mentions of murder, self harm

aiden hadn't realized just how lacking in social skills he was until he was attempting to make contact with someone other than jack for the first time.

the door of the music store was red, with a small window on the front. it was covered in colourful flyers and newsletters, advertising various events and things aiden knew nothing about. there was a small sign that said "push" in bold black letters. aiden had been staring at it too long to feel comfortable. shaking slightly in his long black coat and beanie. too afraid to step inside.

"excuse me, are you going in or not?"

aiden jumped, not turning to look and see who had spoken but instead quickly pushing open the door open and stepping inside. the store was much warmer than the biting air outside, the lights so bright it made aiden wince. there were stacks of records and cds and vinyls, so many vivid colours and patterns and fonts. a loud song aiden didn't recognize blasted over speakers above. aiden felt his lips twitch at the corners. oh, he thought he already loved this place. was it just because it was somewhere other than jack's place? he didn't know. didn't care enough to think about it.

he glanced around for the employee he was supposed to talk to, anxiety bubbling in his chest again. it wasn't just that he was an introvert or antisocial, though he supposed those were supporting factors - but he had literally never held a conversation with anyone other than jack in his life. on a couple occasions he'd spoken a few words to others, but now… now, he was not only going to have to talk, but pretend to be jack at the same time. which he could do. maybe. in front of a camera was one thing, but…

"can i help you, sir?" said a man dressed in all black, with a nametag on his shirt. rhudy, it said his name was. "are you jack? just wondering, you look rather lost."

aiden just nodded, for all his usual cockiness suddenly rendered unable to speak. rhudy smiles, dimples appearing in his pale cheeks. "alright!" he stretched out a hand for aiden to shake. he didn't take it, swallowing hard, and rhudy retracted his arm without changing expression. "come round the back, i'll show you around. we only have a small space for lessons, hope you're not claustrophobic, ha!" he beamed, and turned to walk in the other direction, quickly weaving through the shelves.

no, he wasn't claustrophobic. he was, however, breathing very heavily and feeling rather like he needed to sit down. he wanted jack. gods, he wanted jack. with a shuddering breath - this was pathetic, he needed to calm the fuck down - he followed the other man to the back.

it was small. red walls covered in shelves, stacks of different instruments in one corner next to a large window covered with white curtains. there were five chairs in a circle in the centre of the room on top of an oval crimson rug. rhudy pulled a chair and sat, aiden very slowly following but staying as far away from him as he could. every nerve in his body was screaming at him to run.

"now, jack," the man said, running his fingers though wavy black hair, dyed blue at the ends. "my name's rhudy, pronounced roo-dee, it's great to meet you. you told me you know a bit of guitar already?"

jack had told him that. aiden nodded again, biting his tongue so hard blood welled up in his mouth.

rhudy gave a small laugh, reaching behind him and grabbing a red acoustic guitar, much like aiden's own but definitely in better condition. "do you talk, then? nothing wrong if you don't want to, just wanting to know."

aiden flushed, forcing himself to open his mouth. "yeah, yeah, course," he said, far too quickly. his fingers gripped the underside of his seat far too tightly.

rhudy blinked, then tilted his head slightly. there was a moment of silence before he spoke, his words sending spikes through aiden's heart. "your name isn't jack, is it?"

aiden was going to throw up. "course it is," he laughed nervously, voice far too high pitched. fuck, but he hated this man for making him feel this way. how did he know, how did he -

"no," rhudy said firmly, leaning forward in his seat, guitar on his lap forgotten. "it's not. and you're…" he lowered his voice. "you're definitely magic or something, it's coming off you in waves. what kind of magician are you, then?" he folded his hands. "also, what's your real name? just by looking at you, i think maybe it starts with an a." he started listing off ideas, ignoring aiden's small noises of protest. "andrew? anthony? aleksanteri? antiseptic?"

he then seemed to notice how pale aiden had gone and how badly he was shaking. "oh, oh, i didn't mean to upset you," he said, sitting up again awkwardly.

"y-you didn't," aiden spat, trying to disguise his panic with anger. he wanted to fucking kill this man, he wanted to… oh, this wasn't right, he couldn't be here, he had to go home to jack. aiden stood, pushing past the chairs and making for the door. "i think this was a mistake."

"wait, wait!" rhudy said, setting his guitar aside as he leapt to his feet and stumbled past the chairs to stand in front of aiden. "i am so sorry, i get carried away sometimes and i swear i didn't mean to -" he took a breath. "sorry, really. i'll call you jack if you want."

aiden burned. he wanted to run, he wanted to pull the switchblade from his jacket pocket and rip this man's throat out. "ok," he instead said softly. more blood in his mouth as he sat back down, rhudy following.

he narrowed his eyes, desperately trying to push through his slowly building panic attack and regain some semblance of dignity. "magician," he muttered. "what makes you think i'm a magician?"

rhudy hesitated, reevaluating. aiden hated him. "you're… you smell like magic. harsh, like fire, or an overheating computer." he snorted, trying to keep eye contact with aiden. "do you do magic?"

aiden had come here for a guitar lesson. a fucking guitar lesson. "no," he said firmly. "i don't. do… do you?"

rhudy nodded. "you don't know about… well, suppose it doesn't matter." and before aiden can say a word, he picked up the guitar again. "anyway, let's -"

"hey, wait, you can't - you can't just dump that shit on me and then teach me guitar!" aiden spluttered, throwing up his arms. "how did you know my name wasn't -" shit. he visibly winced. rhudy just smiled, eyes twinkling.

"i know things," he said, tapping the side of his head. "that's one thing i'm good at. knowing things. clairvoyance, it's called."

clairvoyance. wow, everything made sense now.

rhudy absentmindedly plucked a tune on the guitar strings, raising an eyebrow. "so your name's not jack?"

"no," aiden admitted. he didn't say anything else.

rhudy nodded. "ok, i'm calling you antiseptic then. more badass name than fucking andrew. unless that is your name?" aiden shook his head. "ok. anyway. we'll have plenty of time to talk about magic later. for now, let's just… ok. what songs can you play?"

-

rhudy was odd. rhudy was odd, and aiden did not know how to feel about him.

over the next two weeks, he explained a bit about the magic to him. from what he said, it seemed like magic was slightly more common that aiden had thought, which worried him. surely he would have noticed, surely he would have seen at some point? he'd considered the possibility that jack's creation of his magician had something to do with it, but that seemed ridiculous. bringing to life one person with magic powers was one thing, but a whole group of people? unless… unless jack was one of them. a particularly powerful magician, maybe. ugh, it hurt to think about.

aiden didn't tell jack what he'd learned.

well, he did tell jack some of the things he'd learned. the music related things, at least. jack had commented on how much he'd improved in terms of playing, and despite himself, aiden had swelled with pride.

"thanks. i guess lessons are paying off." he grinned. jack ruffled his hair as he walked by, and aiden attempted to swat at his legs as his friend laughed.

"oh, they are. i can say this now, but you were simply terrible before, aid. completely and utterly horrendous." he smirked and disappeared into the kitchen.

aiden rolled his eyes, zipping up his guitar case and preparing to head out again. "well, that's rude."

"it's just truth!"

aiden followed jack into the kitchen and stuck out his tongue. "ok, whatever. dickwad. what are you doing today?"

jack shrugged. "dunno. i've been watching dude perfect a lot, i was legitimately thinking about attempting to fly to texas and do a collab with them." he laughed at the ridiculousness of it, evidently trying to relieve the tension of making a joke like that. he knew aiden didn't like jack's collabs. "what do you think?"

aiden rolled his eyes, grabbing his boots from the shoe rack. he knew jack was only joking. "alright then, bro average."

"hey, that's so mean!"

"oh, i'm mean? you just told me my guitar was shite!"

"your guitar was shite, past tense!"

"fuck you, i'm leaving."

jack rummaged in the fridge, pulling out a rectangular bottle. "stacy, no, don't take the kids," he joked, twisting off the cap and taking a gulp.

aiden suddenly frowned. "are you day drinking, jay? seriously?"

jack shrugged and sat down at the table, pulling out his phone and adjusting his grey snapback. "this whiskey is nice. don't worry, i wouldn't get drunk without you."

"can't get drunk with me, either, if you don't want to kill me." aiden said as he tied his boots. "are you forgetting i can't drink?"

jack started, blinking like he'd just woken up. "oh… oh, yeah," he murmured softly. "yeah."

aiden didn't move for a second. then he came round the table and hesitantly placed a hand on the back of jack's neck. "jay, are you ok? you've been acting… a bit off, lately."

jack nodded, far too quickly. "yeah, yeah, of course," he reassured. "just a… i'm fine, don't worry."

aiden didn't have time to worry anyway. he was late for his lesson. he just smiled and told jack to take care of himself as he left, half jogging down the street with his case on his back.

yes, rhudy was odd. he talked about magic ever so casually when he was around aiden, and joked with him like he was an old friend. aiden was still debating killing him. but part of him thought… maybe he liked this guy. he was interesting, definitely. and he was good at guitar. and he was nice to aiden despite how rude and snappy he was. aiden couldn't understand him.

"hey, anti!" rhudy greeted him as soon as he came into the store. he had his hair back in the tiniest ponytail, curls hanging down in front of his face. he didn't try to high five aiden, either, which showed he'd at least been paying attention to his touch aversive tendencies. "good to see you, even if it it ten minutes late." he laughed, already starting for the back of the room. aiden smiled slightly. yes, he thought he did like this guy.

there was someone waiting in the back room.

"oh, is someone in here?" said the man who was sitting on aiden's usual seat. he had spiky brown hair and a long beard, a bass guitar resting on his legs. "sorry, bros, lemme move my stuff."

aiden and rhudy waited awkwardly as the man slowly packed up his guitar, chattering all the while. "no one told me this room was being used, rhudy, apologies. i thought it was free, didn't know you did lessons in here on thursdays."

"yep, i do," rhudy interrupted. "it's ok, rory, just remember that for future."

aiden got the feeling rhudy wasn't exactly fond of this man. he shifted from foot to foot, tapping his fingers on his knife in his pocket.

rory looked up at the movement, standing up straight. "well, who's this awkward looking fellow?" he asked cheerfully, and aiden's face burned. the man flashed a grin. "name's rory. rhudy teaches me too sometimes, when i can pay him." he laughed, though no one else did. "so, you any good on guitar? can't be that great if rhudy's teaching you."

"hurry up, rory," rhudy said tiredly before aiden could do anything he wouldn't regret. "we have a lesson to have."

"naturally!" rory chuckled. he clapped aiden's shoulder, causing him to yelp and rory to laugh. "oho, calm down, i won't hurt you. a bit jumpy, are we?" he waved at rhudy as he went out, and he unwillingly waved back. "seeya, lads!"

the man had his phone in his pocket. by the time he'd left the room, aiden had gotten everything he needed. he sat down next to rhudy, shaking with rage and anxiety and disgust.

"sorry about him," rhudy said sympathetically. "he's… a lot to handle. doesn't mean any harm, really."

aiden didn't care. the second he was feeling upset enough to kill anyone again, this man was becoming his first new victim. he had his address now. fuck anything else.

but then rhudy tilted his head, looking aiden in the eyes. "can i touch your shoulder?" and just the fact that he asked touched aiden enough that he nodded, and before starting the lesson rhudy gently pat aiden's shoulder and smiled, and aiden felt strangely warm for the rest of the day.

-

everything was wrong.

everything was so painfully wrong that jack felt sick. if anyone had asked, he wouldn't have been able to tell them what the problem was, but he knew that something was so off it was making him shake and cause bile to burn his throat. he pulled his knees up to his chest on the couch and took a desperate gulp of his whiskey, hoping that maybe for a second it would burn this feeling away. it didn't. in fact, it seemed to make it worse.

he should be recording. he should be making videos. he shouldn't be shivering in his living room, curled up and drinking an expensive bottle of japanese whiskey. where was aiden? fuck, he needed aiden. he was going to throw up or pass out or something. part of him hoped for the latter if only to rip this strange horrible feeling right out of him.

no keys in the lock. no knock at the door. jack couldn't sit up to look at the couch, but he knew aiden wouldn't be back anytime soon. he let out a shuddering breath and laid sideways on the couch, his bottle falling to the floor. he didn't care. he fucking hated the taste anyway.

-

"i better go home soon," aiden said, though part of him really didn't want to. he was actually having a good time. he and rhudy had stopped playing guitar long ago - now they were just talking, or really, rhudy was talking and aiden was listening. which he was fine with, really. it was easier for both of them that way.

"aw, man," rhudy groaned exaggeratedly, slumping back dramatically in his chair. "really? come on, septic, stay here, i don't have any other lessons tonight."

aiden shook his head. part of him thought about staying, if only so he wouldn't have to go home and see jack. but he was getting tired anyway. "yeah, i should go."

rhudy made a face and stood. "ok, ok. see you tomorrow?"

aiden frowned as he slung his case onto his back. "i don't have a lesson tomorrow."

rhudy gave an embarrassed laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. "oh yeah, you don't, do you," he murmured. then he raised an eyebrow. "would you like to? maybe somewhere… not here? like… out in the park or something?"

they made their way over to the door, aiden biting his lip. "you, uh, you wanna give me a guitar lesson in a park?"

rhudy nodded eagerly. "uh, yeah. a guitar lesson, yeah. just - yeah. if you want."

aiden shrugged, feeling a grin on his face. "yeah, sure, yeah. if you want."

"if you want."

"if you want!"

and despite wondering if maybe he was missing something obvious, aiden was smiling as he left the store and walked home, feeling light and warm.

that feeling immediately dissipated the second he walked in the house.

it was freezing. the windows seemed to be all open, a cold breeze blowing the curtains out. "bloody hell," aiden muttered, slamming one shut and glancing down the hall. "jack, you up?"

there was a moment of silence before aiden heard a sound that made every hair in his body stand on end. a sharp, pained whimper, coming from what seemed to be the living room.

he bolted down the hall, shrugging off his guitar and tossing it carelessly to the ground. when he came into the room, his heart dropped. jack was curled up on the couch, shaking badly, hands over his ears and blood on his face. his eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and he didn't look up as aiden dropped to his knees beside the couch, gasping. "jack! jesus shit, jack!"

jack gave a small, pathetic cry. "no, no, leave me alone," he sobbed, drawing even further into himself. "don't touch, don't hurt, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!"

aiden cursed, noticing an empty bottle of alcohol on the floor near the couch. "fuck, jay, how much did you have to drink?"

"barely anything, swear, i don't drink, i don't!" jack cried, trying to cover his face and ears at the same time. "leave me 'lone, go away, don't want to hurt anyone, don't want to die!"

aiden's blood ran cold. "jack. jack, what are you talking about? did someone hurt you? did something - shit, jay, did you make another video?"

"no, no, no!" jack wailed, tossing and turning wildly. blood trickled from his eyes and onto the cushions below. "i didn't, aiden, didn't do anything, please!"

aiden couldn't get another coherent sentence out of him for another four or so hours. by the time jack calmed and was able to sit up and speak properly, it was late at night and the room was dark. jack leaned his head against aiden's shoulder, breathing heavily and shakily but still breathing, still breathing. aiden didn't know what to say.

"i'm sorry," were the first words jack said when he could speak. "i don't know what came over me."

aiden stroked his hair, the physical contact making him shiver. "there was blood and shit," he mumbled. "like a creation. but it was - you didn't make a video."

"i didn't make a video for you either," jack said, voicing what they were both thinking.

"i… i'm different," aiden said. "and we both know it."

jack glanced over, his eyes red. "different how?"

aiden didn't want to say it. he didn't want to say anything. so he didn't.

"maybe you have some kind of epilepsy too," he eventually said. "and that's why you have those…seizures."

jack snorted. "seizures that make me bleed from the eyes and create magic clones of myself?"

aiden smacked his chin into his knees. "well, you didn't make any magic clones this time." he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. "you just drank too much, that's all."

"drank one bottle of whiskey and bled like a demon," jack said under his breath, and aiden pretended not to hear him.

they spent the night watching voyager and eventually fell asleep, jack on aiden's legs and aiden slumped over the arm of the couch.

-

aiden left early the next day.

"who are you texting?" jack teased as he walked past aiden in the kitchen. they had wordlessly agreed to put the events of last night behind them until they had to face them. "and why-y do you have your guitar with you? you don't have a lesson."

aiden flipped him off without looking up. "because fuck you, that's why."

jack frowned. "be careful, aid."

he glanced up, relaxing and shooting a small smile. "when am i not careful, jack?" he furrowed his brow. "don't answer that."

after aiden had left, jack decided to go out shopping. it was early on a saturday, and there were a lot of families with kids and such, who jack carefully avoided as much as he could. he stopped in the sweets aisle, pondering buying aiden some black liquorice. he hadn't been spending a lot of time with him lately, and figured maybe he'd appreciate it. he was just throwing a bag into his basket when someone small bumped into his legs.

he jumped, turning round quickly to face whoever it was. a young girl, no older than six, with brown hair in a ponytail and a puffy pink jacket. "papa, connor's being mean!" she whined, not letting go of his legs. "i wanted to get the tangfastics, but he said he wanted them, but i asked first, papa! i asked first, i called bagsy!"

jack was stunned into silence for a second. "uh," he eventually managed. "uh, kid, i'm not your… your papa."

the girl looked up, bright blue eyes sparkling. "you're silly!" she grinned, then taking a step back. "lift me up, i lost connor and wanna see him over all the people!"

jack was just about to start panicking when someone came through the crowd, tapping the girl on the head. "lou-ise, did you -" he started, then he and jack both looked up and froze.

jack's first thought was - "aiden?" he said, confused. "what are you…"

but no, this wasn't aiden. but the man was jack's exact twin in every seemingly possible way. messy, yellow-green hair, a short brown beard, bright blue eyes, wearing a grey snapback and black leather jacket. he was staring at jack blankly, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. jack stared right back, mind absolutely racing.

his first instinct was to run. what if this was jackieboy man or the magnificent magician, the ones who had hurt aiden? but before he could do anything, before he could race down the aisle as quickly as he could, the girl next to him spoke. "you're not my papa!" she said, skipping over to her other man and the tiny blonde boy that jack assumed was her brother. she grabbed her papa's hand and both kids joined their father in staring at jack in awe.

"holy sh- my god," the man said after a moment, sounding just like jack but with an american accent. "you look - wow, that's so unbelievably weird. you are… you're like my exact twin. and i found you in an asda. what - what the hell?" he broke into a grin, laughing at the ridiculousness of it. "are you my long lost brother or something?"

jack made several noises, struggling to speak actual words. "i… uh…" he snorted, putting his hands in his jacket pockets. "yeah, this is… weird."

"he even sounds like you, papa!" the boy cried, stepping forwards slightly. he made a face at jack, his sister giggling. their dad shook his head before letting go of his daughter's hand and stretching it out towards jack.

"sorry, uh, my name's chase," he said, still grinning. jack shook his hand, suddenly very aware of how many people were in here watching this go down. "chase brody. it's, uh, nice to meet you, even under these odd circumstances, ha."

jack forced a grin. he didn't recognize the name at all. he couldn't be the doctor either, then, the doctor was german and his name wasn't brody, it had been… schneeplestein? "my name's jack," he said. "yeah, wow. nice to - to meet you, yeah."

there were several seconds of awkward silence after that, until the girl spoke again. "are you our uncle?" she asked. "or papa's brother? why do you look like him? are you twins? do you know each other? are you his clone?"

jack laughed despite himself. "i wish i could answer any of those questions, uh…" he looked at chase questioningly.

"oh! this is louise, and my son, connor," chase introduced, tapping them both on the head in turn. "and, uh, we should probably get going, my wife will be wondering. wait a sec." he pulled a tiny notebook and pen from his pocket, scribbling something onto the paper. "i don't think this is something we can just walk away from and never think of again, so i'm gonna give you my number, maybe we can talk later." he handed the paper to jack, and he took it, both of them smiling awkwardly. "yeah. uh, good to meet you." he grabbed his children's hands again, and they both waved at jack as they turned round and started to walk off. "see you, dude!"

jack waved slowly, staring after them long after they were gone.

-

it was cold out. so cold out that no children or families were even in the park, leaving it all to aiden and rhudy. they chattered warmly as they crunched through the early september frost in the grass, making their way over to a spot in the field next to the trees and sitting on the freezing ground. rhudy had bought them food from greggs, and they ate as they talked, both guitars forgotten on their legs as they leaned against the trees. despite the chill, this was the warmest aiden had felt in a long time. it felt like easier days, like when jack and aiden had been able to get along and be friends instead of snapping and ignoring each other. it felt good. it felt happy.

this wasn't a feeling aiden was used to, but he wished he could be.

later on, they picked up their stuff and walked down on the beach. the tide was in, so they kept close to the wall, stumbling over rocks and slipping on seaweed, laughing loudly and clinging to each other. for once, aiden didn't mind the unexpected touch that he usually only accepted from jack. it felt happy. everything really did feel happy.

"come on, anti!" rhudy yelled, racing ahead of him across the rocks. aiden flipped him off, finding solid ground and taking advantage of it to run after him. he was aware of how stupid the both of them must look right now - two men in their late twenties chasing each other like children - but he suddenly didn't care. he didn't care, and he didn't know why. he was having fun. he wasn't feeling depressed, he wasn't thinking about killing himself, he was alive and it felt fucking amazing. he laughed as he tore across the rocks, almost catching up to rhudy, reaching out to grab his arm -

and slipping, falling -

"anti! anti, shit, anti!"

he groaned, bright light in front of his eyes the second he opened them. something digging into his back. sand on his hands, something sharp, his head, his head hurt - "fuck," he mumbled. he felt a pair of hands grab his, helping him sit up. "oh, oh, fuck, ow."

"anti, are you ok? shit, did you hit your head? are you bleeding? your hands are bleeding, shit," rhudy panicked. his hands were on aiden's shoulders, aiden's face. he let out a noise and leaned into the other man, his whole body aching.

rhudy ran his hands over his back. "hey, i think you're ok, i don't - i don't have a medkit, specifically, but we can go to mine and get -"

and suddenly the embarrassment of everything hit aiden all at once. what was he doing, running around like an idiot, getting so close to someone who was still mostly a stranger? he pulled back, cheeks burning in humiliation, struggling to push himself up. "i'm fine, i have to - i have to get home, my - my roommate will be worried about me."

rhudy nodded, too quickly. "oh, yeah, sure," he said. he grabbed aiden's hands again, trying to help him up, but he was suddenly just so fucking angry with everything that he pushed him off, stumbling to his feet himself. it was after he'd done that that he realized that had been a dumb idea - sand had gotten into the big cut on his hand, and it stung. he swayed on his feet, and rhudy helped steady him despite his yelp of protest.

"i'm - uh, i'm sorry you… can i walk you home?" rhudy blurted. aiden started making his way back up the beach, trying to subtly wipe sand off himself.

"i'll be fine," he mumbled. the last thing he needed was for jack to see him like this with another person.

despite that, rhudy walked him up to the gates of the park, occasionally looking at aiden like he wanted to say something but never doing so. at the gates, he stopped walking and hesitated. "anti, uh… sorry this didn't go so great. maybe next time we can go get food or something. less risk of injury." he laughed awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair. aiden eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he was mocking him.

"sure, yeah," he said, having no intention of going out with rhudy again. he'd stick with just the guitar lessons, thank you very much.

rhudy brightened, a smile spreading across his face. "cool!" he beamed. he clapped his hands together gently. "sure you don't want me to walk -"

"yes, i'm sure," aiden interrupted and left rhudy at the gate, beginning the walk back himself in silence.

jack wasn't at home.

that wasn't extremely unusual, but usually he left a note or something. aiden wandered through the house uncertainly, making sure there was really no one there, before collapsing to the couch and staring at the wall, thinking about how much of an idiot he was.

"aid-en. wakey wakey, i got you liquorice."

aiden slowly blinked, seeing a pair of bright blue eyes in front of his own. he didn't even remember falling asleep. "mm," he groaned, closing his eyes again. "thanks."

he felt a hand run through his hair, and he unwillingly let out a small, relaxed sigh. "what's up?" jack said softly. aiden heard him sink down next to him on the floor. "how were lessons with - shit, aiden, what happened to your hand?"

oh yeah. he'd forgotten. "fell," he mumbled, not bothering to elaborate. jack cursed silently.

"and you didn't disinfect it or bandage it or anything?" aiden made another sleepy "hmm" as a no. "fuck's sake. stay there, lazy bastard, i'll fix you up."

it was another quiet night for the both of them, although jack did decide to forfeit recording for a little while so as to sit with aiden, chattering and playing music loudly. and despite how his anger had faded to a soft numb burn, jack's presence was nice, and he felt slightly more alive than usual.

it was the next day that aiden noticed.

a new presence. a new electrical item in the house. that wasn't extremely unusual, but usually jack would tell him something like that, obviously knowing that aiden would recognize the change and wonder. the fact that he hadn't mentioned just made aiden more curious, and he followed the signature through the house, somehow unable to locate it exactly until late that night, when jack was recording and aiden found it in his coat pocket. a new phone. aiden hesitated, knowing he should respect jack's privacy like he'd promised and not look - but what was he doing with a whole new phone when he already had a perfectly good one?

one look. just one look. no harm could be done with just one look.

there was nothing on the phone. nothing but a text conversation to a number aiden didn't recognize.

the conversation had been initiated by jack, at two am that morning. aiden would have been asleep by then, he realized with a jolt.

hey, the message said. figured i'd message you.

the number had responded. hey there! i almost didn't think you'd text me.

who the fuck was this? a girlfriend? but why would jack have bought a whole new phone just to text her? heart racing, he kept looking.

course i did. look, i can't say much over text. can we maybe meet up again, same place we met? i want to talk to you again.

hell yeah, dude. tomorrow at twelve work for you? i gotta get the kids from school, so i can't do later than three.

sure. seeya then.

that was how the conversation ended.

ok, aiden thought. so jack was keeping secrets from him. "i can't say much over text" - hmm, wonder why that was. aiden reassembled and slumped against a wall, breathing heavily through his nose.

that fucking bastard. whoever it was he was meeting, it was someone he didn't want aiden seeing. and that was exactly why he was going to follow him and see who it was.

he thought aiden wouldn't notice if he bought a new phone? fucking idiot. it would have been easier to hide if he had just used his normal phone. did he really think aiden was stupid? he clenched his fists, biting his cheek so hard he tasted blood in his mouth. that asshole. that asshole. that fucking asshole.

by the time jack was done recording, aiden was in his room, pretending to be asleep. but in reality, he was already planning exactly what he was going to do the next day, and how he was going to tell jack what he knew.

-

"i'm going out," jack said, around eleven thirty the next day. aiden was sitting on the couch on his laptop, eating apple slices, and he barely glanced up at jack's words. "got shit to do. what are you gonna do?"

aiden shrugged, holding up a hand while he finished chewing. "can i hack into police records and find wrongly released criminals so i can kill them?" he joked once he'd finished.

jack rolled his eyes, relieved aiden hadn't questioned where he was going. "oh yeah, absolutely," he chuckled. "have fun with that, dude. seeya." the door clicked as he left and walked down the steps, putting up his umbrella to shield himself from the pouring rain.

he felt kind of bad doing this without telling aiden. truth was, he didn't want him to know about chase because he might think he was bad like that hero and magician. but even that… after leaving asda yesterday, jack had gone to the library and done some researching. the hero had been seen several times around the city, his costume constantly changing but always recognizable. he had become known as "jbm," which jack knew was short for "jackieboy man." how no one else knew what the jbm stood for, he didn't know, but what he did know was that this hero didn't seem evil. he had appeared to only do good things from what he had seen, from rescuing that girl at the beginning to saving a kid who was being hurt by his father. jack didn't understand why he'd hurt aiden like that. it didn't seem right.

he didn't want to say aiden was lying. he didn't.

but there was something more to the story that he was definitely missing.

he saw chase standing outside, a small yellow umbrella with a duck's face on it held over his head. seeing him again was strange enough - it was like seeing himself wearing a stranger's clothes - but that umbrella had to be the icing on this very weird cake. he tried to hold back a laugh as he walked up beside him. "hey, there."

chase jumped at his voice, then jumped again at his face. "christ on a bike, you scared me," he laughed, shaking his head. "i haven't gotten used to - you know." he waved his hand round his face, jack humming in agreement. "so, uh… where do you wanna go?"

jack hesitated. "you wanna go get some food? there's some places just over there, i don't mind where we go."

chase grinned. "hell yeah. you have any preferences? i'll eat anything, i don't mind."

"subway?"

"sounds like a plan."

they walked through the parking lot and crossed the street to the various restaurants across from the asda. they politely chatted the whole way there, ignoring the very obvious elephant in the room in favour of discussing chase's umbrella. "it's louise's, my daughter," he clarified with a chuckle. "i think i've lost my own one. i have gotten several strange looks, but hey, that's how it is sometimes." jack laughed, and chase held the door for him to go inside. they each ordered and sat down, preparing to finally talk.

"so," chase eventually said as they finished a casual conversation about chase's kids. "are we gonna talk about the whole… why we look identical thing?"

jack had been hoping to avoid talking about that for a while, mostly because he wasn't sure how to explain the truth without seeming insane. how do you tell someone you think you might have brought them to life? "uh, yeah. i guess. i mean… i don't really know."

"it's not even a funny "haha we look sort of similar" thing," chase said as he unwrapped his bacon and salad sandwich and took a bite. "it's like - we're literally identical. every last detail. down to the shape of, like, our eyes. and our voices are the same, just different accents." he swallowed and then puts on a very convincing irish accent. "i mean, i can do irish too."

"that is weird," jack murmured. he was starting to feel very light. "how - how did you come to be able to do such a good irish accent if you're american?"

"my family moved us to ireland when i was fifteen," he said, waving his hand in a circle. "i learned to impersonate an irish accent to fit in with my classmates, so they didn't make fun of me. dunno how it got so good." he laughed awkwardly, sipping his coke. "so we both have ties to ireland, too? damn, ok, this is getting… very weird. i think that we genuinely might be related."

jack bit into his own sandwich, at a loss for words. "uh, maybe," he said. had he really created a person with a whole backstory that he didn't even write? "yeah. yeah."

chase hesitated. "think we should do, like… a blood test or something?" he winced. "that sounded dumb. i mean, i - i told my wife about this whole thing last night and she didn't believe me, even when my kids backed me up. this is all so weird." he shook his head again and breathed out a laugh. "but, anyway! we can talk about that kinda stuff later. tell me a bit about you, i've talked about myself enough."

jack did so, avoiding all mentions of aiden and his powers, instead talking about his time in ireland and his youtube channel. surprisingly, chase told him he had a channel too. "it's called bro average," he said, picking at his sandwich and not noticing the shock on jack's face. "i do trickshot stuff, lots of athletic shit. it blew up sometime last year, i've got like two million subs. it's wild, dude, seriously!"

bro average… where had he heard those words? he knew them. he'd heard that name. fuck, but he couldn't remember where. and if it was true, this man had only been in existence for a few days. why could he remember a past, how powerful were jack's powers?

the lights flickered. chase barely noticed. jack did. he glanced up, suddenly desperately hoping it was just a coincidence.

"and you've got a gaming channel?" chase said, oblivious. "how many subs does that have? i haven't heard that name before."

"about four million," he said, face reddening as chase cheered in awe.

"holy shit! that's so cool, dude. i'll have to check it out, i'm surprised i haven't seen it." chase stirred his drink. "i think maybe we're just the same person from different lives, ha." he stilled very suddenly. "i'm joking, but also i'm really not."

the lights flickered again, much more forcibly this time. the woman preparing the sandwiches glanced up, confused.

"so… you wouldn't happen to know any other clones, would you?" chase joked, tucking a strand of hair back into his hat. "you don't seem as… surprised as you probably should be about this whole situation."

jack hesitated. "what would you say if i told you i did?"

chase raised his eyebrows and was about to say something else when he paused, looking behind him slowly. "hey, what's that… can you hear that weird buzzing noise?"

"i have to go to the bathroom," jack said immediately, standing up and nearly knocking over his drink. "be back in a sec."

he didn't even give chase time to respond. just stormed into the bathroom at the back of the restaurant and, after checking there was no one else in any of the stalls, stood in the middle of the room. "what the fuck, aiden?"

there was a loud screeching that immediately spiked jack's tinnitus, and he cried out, clamping his hands over his ears. the room sparked with colour and static, and aiden formed in front of jack, face blank.

"jesus shit, dude!" jack yelled. "what the fuck is wrong with you, are you following me?"

aiden tilted his head and crossed his arms. "you bought a whole new phone just to talk to him?" he said flatly. "and you thought i wouldn't notice? seriously? do you take me for a fucking idiot, jack mcloughlin?"

jack sighed. "i didn't -" he threw up his arms, at a loss. "aiden -"

"what were you afraid of, jack?" aiden said, very quietly. his body glitched, and his eyes melted into a solid black. "were you scared i'd be upset? scared i'd do something? scared i'd try to -" he disappeared and suddenly reformed directly in front of him, causing him to yelp and jump back. "- hurt him?"

"aiden, stop it!" jack cried disbelievingly. aiden stepped back, still glitching wildly, an amused smile on his face. "what the fuck's gotten into you?"

"you were keeping him secret." aiden deadpanned. "hiding from me. lying to me."

"because i knew you'd react like this!" jack despaired, and aiden's buzzing glitches quietened for just a second, his smirk slipping. "i knew you'd freak out and get all possessive, like you always do!"

there was no sound but the hum of static for a long moment.

"so that's how you see me, huh?" aiden eventually said. "just possessive."

jack shook his head rapidly. "aiden, fuck's sake, of course not. you're my friend!"

the smirk came back. "am i really?" the glitching suddenly picked up full force, and even the space around him began to bend around aiden. "am i? or am i just your fucking puppet, jack? here to jump when you say jump, just made to keep you from being sad and lonely?" his tone became mocking and childish at the end, and each word felt like a stab to jack's heart.

"aid-aiden, dude, of course not! what the fuck gave you that impression? i love you, you mean the goddamn world to me!"

the glitching suddenly stopped, leaving a deafening silence.

"i'm sure i do," aiden murmured, and disappeared.

jack just stared at the spot where he had been for a moment. then he splashed some water from the sinks on his face, feeling sick with dread and worry. he had never been good with confrontation, and everything aiden had said just felt… painful. the fact that he thought like that made his head spin. was he really that bad of a friend?

the word "puppet" kept echoing in his mind.

he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. he looked tired, bags under his head, hair mussed from the weather. he didn't bother trying to sort it, just left the bathroom and back into the main section of the restaurant.

chase was gone.

panic coursed through jack's body. he raced outside, swinging round the corner, only to see - his heart dropped. aiden, talking to chase as they walked quickly away from the subway.

"chase!" he called, and they both turned round, chase's eyes widening in horror as he realized. aiden broke out in a huge grin as chase jumped away from him, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"what the - what the fuck, what the fuck!" he stammered, stumbling back into a lamppost. "who - what - i don't -"

"oh, keep quiet if you've nothing good to say," aiden jeered, letting his eyes turn black. chase cried out in shock, and aiden laughed in amusement.

"aiden, get the fuck away from him," jack ordered, pushing aiden back. "this isn't a joke, aiden, stop. whatever you're mad about, don't take it out on chase."

"aw, chase!" aiden sang, rapping his knuckles on chase's head. he shrank back, terrified. "you have a name, how sweet! did you call yourself that, or did jack name you?"

"i - i - i don't know what you're talking about!" chase sobbed. his eyes flickered over to jack, who was dithering helplessly at the side, fruitlessly trying to pull aiden away. "please, leave me alone, i have a wife and kids -"

"a wife and kids!" aide crowed. he turned to jack, eyes comically wide. "you hear that, jack? he has a wife and kids!"

"aiden, stop it. come home, we can talk - i'm sorry i tried to hide this from you, ok? please, calm down, just -"

"can we talk about what the fuck is happening?" chase interrupted, looking like he was about to cry. "i don't - i don't understand, i didn't think there was more - clones, more clones, i don't get it!"

"ohhh, you didn't mention me, jack?" aiden said in an exaggerated, mocking tone, pouty lip and all. "your first creation, too?" he cackled. "why am i not surprised?"

jack covered his face, suddenly too overwhelmed to speak as chase continued panicking. "creation? jack, what - what the fuck are you on about? what have - what have you gotten me into?"

"ah. you haven't told him that either." anti turned to chase, who was trembling enormously now. "would you like me to tell you why you look so much like our jack here?"

despite it all, aiden jumped when jack put a hand on his arm. "please," he said quietly, biting his lip. "go home. or go… somewhere. or stay, if you're gonna stop being an asshole. just - stop this. please."

all the fight seemed to go out of aiden at once, and he practically deflated in front of jack's eyes. he glanced at chase, who was breathing very heavily and scrubbing at his face to try and hide the tears leaking from his eyes. he didn't say a word this time. just vanished into the air, buzzing as he disappeared.

jack and chase were left alone.

"chase," jack murmured. chase was trembling badly, shoulders shaking. "i'm sorry, i - i didn't mean - that was a lot, i'm sorry."

"what did he mean," chase said through his tears. "created?"

jack went silent.

"ok… uh," he started. a couple people walked by, and jack realized; how had no one noticed his and anti's fight? a thing to think about later, he supposed. "i… i have these… these weird abilities. aiden thinks that, maybe, it's like soul -"

"no," chase interrupted. he laughed, almost hysterically, stepping off the curb into the parking lot. "no, don't even try that shit. you're - you're insane, you're fucking insane!"

"chase, wait," jack pleaded. he cursed aiden in his mind. "please -"

chase took off running in the other direction, leaving jack standing by himself.

the worst part was, he couldn't blame him, really. he wished he too could run and never come back.

-

jack was alone all night.

and the next night.

and the night after that.

he spent the fourth night crying, out of despair, out of anger, out of sadness, out of fear. out of everything. he missed his friend so badly, so badly. but he'd ruined everything. it was all his fault. all his fucking fault.

yep, he was a terrible person.

-

aiden spent four nights away.

he spent those four nights sleeping in people's attics and such, stealing food when no one was looking and using public bathrooms in shops. he could just go home and listen to jack apologize tearfully and put all the blame on himself, which he thought would almost ne worth it - but really, he was too fucking tired. too fucking angry. he wanted to do nothing but sleep and hate himself and feel angry at everyone around him.

surprisingly, he decided to go back to the music store for his next lesson on friday. he was bored and lonely and, quite honestly, desperate for human contact. rhudy's face brightened when he saw him enter the store, and aiden hated the smile that tried to rise to his lips upon seeing him.

"septic!" rhudy cried, and without warning, threw his arms right around him. and fuck, if aiden didn't sob slightly, practically melting into the warmth. it felt fucking fantastic. he hated it. he wanted it to last forever.

"i'm sorry about the beach," rhudy mumbled into his ear. "i can see so much shit, but i didn't see - i didn't know -" he suddenly pulled away. "are you… ok?"

aiden didn't dare say a word in case he somehow burst into tears right then. rhudy took that as a sign to take his shoulder gently and pull him away from the crowd. "come round the back, you're ok, you're ok."

aiden was dimly aware that he didn't even have his guitar with him. he almost laughed at his idiocy.

"sit down. anti, are you ok? talk to me, man." rhudy opened the back room curtains, and aiden winced in the light. "you haven't been home in a while, have you?"

aiden was confused, before remembering - clairvoyance. he sighed. "no. had a fight with my - with my roommate." a shuddering breath. "i'm fine."

rhudy sat down across from him. his black hair curled round his face, stopping just above his shoulders. his brown eyes were filled with worry. "i'm sorry," he mumbled. "the other man i taught guitar to - rory - he's dead. murdered, they said. he was fucking ripped apart, they wouldn't have known it was him if it wasn't his home."

aiden forced a look of surprise onto his face. "oh, shit. rhudy, i'm sorry."

"don't be," he sighed. "it's not your fault."

aiden swallowed and looked down at the floor, nodding.

rhudy tapped his knees. "you've hurt yourself."

aiden snorted, self consciously wrapping his arms around himself. "jesus, you know a bit too much for your own good, don't you think?"

rhudy ignored him, instead gently taking one of aiden's hands and rolling up his sleeve. aiden's breath hitched at the contact, and he felt almost satisfied with how shocked rhudy looked when he saw what aiden had done. "fuck, anti, did you do this to yourself?"

not intentionally, at first. he'd just scraped his arm against the scratchy, uneven floor, then he'd liked the pain and done it again, and again. grounding himself. "why do you call me that?" aiden said, instead of answering his question.

they stared at each other in silence, rhudy still holding aiden's arm. "i don't know," rhudy eventually murmured, evidently not wanting to leave the previous topic be. "it just seemed like… your name. like it was connected to you. if - if you don't like it, i can call you something else?"

aiden considered for a moment. considered a lot of things. then he gently pulled his arm away from rhudy's and smiled up at him, an actual, genuine smile for the first time in about a week. something about that felt right. something about him felt right. suddenly, everything seemed to make sense.

"no," anti said. "i like it. i think i like it."

rhudy smiled back at him, and the world was right again.

[vicmc624]

Bad Moon Rising

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Boys save reader on a hunt. After she starts hunting with her they find out more about her past

Warnings: Past domestic violence, assault, panic attacks.

Masterlist

You huddled against a tree, shivering. You've been running through the woods for days, hiding from the pack of wolves you were trying to hunt. There were more than you expected and when your ran out of ammo you only had your silver knife. There were too many so you ran. You rolled in the mud to hide your scent but they keep catching up. You have barely been able to rest. Haven't slept or ate anything. The large gash on your side hadn't stop bleeding. You folded your flannel into a square and pressed it to the wound, using your belt to hold the makeshift bandage in place and keep pressure. You were sure it was infected, you couldn't exactly roll in mud and expect none to get in the wound. You just had to keep going. That's what you kept telling yourself. You had to be getting close to the road. You were starting to feel lost and unsure of which way you needed to go. While huddled against the tree you hear a branch snap in front of you. How did the pack get in front of you? You knew this was it. You couldn't run anymore. You heard quiet voices and when they walked out you saw two strangers holding guns and silver knives. Part of your brain said they were hunters but the other part said not to go down without a fight. You lunged at the taller one catching him of gaurd but he dodged your attack.

"Whoa, whoa, hey. Are you ok?" Sam asked.

Dean turned to look at you and opened his mouth to speak but you swiped your knife in his direction. He grabbed your wrist and easily took your knife dropping it to the ground.

"Fuck you! Wolf bastards! You finally caught me. At least make it quick."

You sink down to your knees, waiting for the claws to enter your skin but it doesn't happen.

"Are you a hunter?" Sam asks.

"You know I am, why else have you been chasing me the last few days. What's it been now, three? Four?" You chuckle. "Should have known they would send someone ahead to keep me from the road. Not as dumb as you look."

Dean takes a cautious step towards you. "Sweetheart, we aren't wolves. We are hunters like you. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam."

"The Winchesters?"

"Uh yeah, you've heard of us?"

"Duh, everyone knows about you." You try to stand up but the blood rushes to your head and you faint. Dean catches you before you hit the ground. That's when he takes a better look at you. He notices the blood seeping from your wound and the mud everywhere. He goes to lift you in his arms when he hears voices coming closer. A growl startles you awake and you struggle to stand.

"They are coming, they always catch up." You say.

"How many are there?" Dean asks.

"I thought there was only 3 or 4, turns out there were 15. I killed 8 before I ran out of ammo. There are 7 left as far as I know."

"Ok sweetheart, I'm gonna sit you down over there and Sam and I will take care of them."

"Fuck you, give me my knife, I can still fight." You stand on wobbly legs but walk over to your knife slowly bending down to pick it up. Just as you stand you see the first wolf walk out of the trees, Sam shoots it before several more come out. Sam and Dean are shooting, watching them fall but they don't see the one sneaking behind them. You hear it over the sound of gun shots. You quickly turn and it's on you right when you raise your knife, it knocks you to the ground and is holding your hair. He leans down to whisper in your ear, "you dumb bitch, you took everything, but I'm taking you down with me." He raises his claws but you are quicker even in your weakened state. You stab your knife into his chest, he collapses on top of you. The handle of the knife digging into your rib. You try to push him off but you are too weak and you feel your wound is bleeding heavily again. The belt must have shifted when he knocked you down. Dean shoots the last wolf before turning to see you. He rushes over and drags the wolf off you, pulling your knife from its chest and slipping it into his pocket. "Sam! Help me, she's really bleeding alot!"

Sam rushes over and helps shift the belt back to hold pressure. Dean leans downs and takes you in his arms before running back through the woods to his car. He slides into the back seat with you and tosses Sam the keys. They drive fast to the hospital and rush you inside. They told the nurses they found you stumbling around the woods. They think you must have been hiking or something. Dean and Sam sit in the waiting room for hours but they won't tell them anything because they aren't family. The next morning you finally crack your eyes open and look around. You were hoping to see the Winchesters but at least they got you to the hospital. A nurse walks in to check your vitals.

"Oh good you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty."

"I'm sure, you were extremely dehydrated when those gentlemen brought you in. They are still sitting in the waiting room if you feel up to visitors? They have been asking to see you but they aren't family members"

"Yes, I want to thank them. Could you send them in?"

The nurse walks out to the waiting room and gently shakes Dean awake. Sam wakes up quickly when he hears her talking.

"Ms. Y/l/n is awake and she is asking for you two. I'll show you to her room."

They follow her into your room and she sets some water on the table before leaving.

"You look much better. How are you?" Dean asks.

"Alive thanks to you both." You reach for the water and try to bring it to your lips but you are shaking and spilling it everywhere. Dean rushes up and takes the water from you and gently lifts your head, bringing the cup to your lips. The water feels like heaven on your throat. The nurse walks back in and says, "there's a gentleman out here that says he's your dad, forgive me but I don't see the resemblance."

"That's ok, I was adopted." You look towards the door as Rufus walks in. He doesn't even pay attention to who else is in the room as he rushes to your side.

"Dad."

"Peanut, I've been so worried about you." He is hugging you and holding you close. You hiss in pain and he pulls back. "You were suppose to check in 3 days ago."

"Sorry dad, my phone got destroyed and I had wolves on my ass. Thankfully the Winchesters saved me." You look over at them. It's the first time Rufus notices you are not alone in the room. Dean raises up from his seat and shakes Rufus' hand.

"Rufus, good to see you. I didn't know you had a daughter."

"Well that's because I never told you."

"Dad, come on. Be nice." You say with a smile.

"Fine, you're right. Thank you both for saving my y/n." He says gruffly. "What happened? I thought it was only 3 or 4?"

"Not so much, turned out to be 15. I killed 8 but ran out of ammo and one of those bastards clawed me. I ran through the woods, rolled in the mud to hide my scent. But they always caught up. I didn't think I would make it out of there." A tear rolls down your cheek before you quickly swipe it away. You clear your throat and looked around the room. "But I did, that's what's important. Sorry for worrying you Dad."

"Dean, Sam, I guess....you know....I mean.....I owe you one. Thank you...you know for saving my peanut."

You roll your eyes. "Dad!" You groan. "I'm not peanut anymore. I'm an adult."

"You're always my peanut. Nothing is changing that."

You roll your eyes again but smile. Sam and Dean are awkwardly standing next to your bed. You glance at them and chuckle at the look on their faces. You know your dad is rough around the edges but he saved you when you were 13 from a pack of wolves that killed your whole family while you were camping. You were the only one to survive and you told him you had no one else. You wanted revenge, you wanted to make sure he taught you how to kill those monsters. And any other that exist.

"Did you call uncle Bobby? I don't want him to make the drive when I'm fine." You say.

"He's already 20 minutes away. Sorry peanut they called him too. You made him your other emergency contact."

"Wait, Bobby. Like Bobby Bobby?" Dean asks looking at Rufus.

"Yeah and?" He says.

"How come we've never met her?"

"I didn't talk to Bobby for years. And when we got in touch again y/n was hunting on her own."

"Definitely my loss." Dean looks at you with a wink.

"Nope! Don't even think about it Winchester!" Rufus yells.

Dean looks down and sits in the chair with a smirk on his lips. You try to stay awake but your eyes drift shut. You wake up to hushed voices.

"How is she?" You recognize Bobby's voice.

"She had a deep gash on her side, lots of bruises and was severely dehydrated but she is gonna make a full recovery." Rufus said

"That's great news. What happened?" Bobby asked.

"She was hunting a pack of wolves but there turned out to be more than she thought." Rugus replied.

" You let her hunt alone!" Bobby shouted.

You startled awake and saw the Winchesters quietly sitting next to you. You looked over and saw your dad and Bobby arguing.

"You know she does what she wants! And you don't tell me how to raise my daughter!"

You look back at the Winchesters rolling your eyes causing Dean to giggle. Boy men look at you before Bobby rushes to you side.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

"Much better. You know nothing can keep me down." You say with a smile. Bobby cracks a smile before hugging you again.

You remain in the hospital for a few days before you are released. The Winchesters said you could hunt with them but your dad wasn't too happy about it.

"Peanut, I don't think going with those two is a good idea."

"Dad. Come on. You know they are good hunters and I can learn alot from them."

"You can learn from me." He says looking down.

"I've already learned alot from you. But I need to be out on my own. But at least this way I'm not alone."

You knew he trusted them and he knew you were right. He gave you a quick hug before telling you to be careful. He walked to Dean and told him if anything happened to you he would kill him, which caused you to giggle. But you knew this was for the best. You could do something greater with the boys, and that's all you wanted.

A few months went by, you felt more comfortable with the boys. You're all sitting at a diner after another successful hunt when your phone rings. You were laughing at a joke Dean made when you answer. Dean notices you face drop immediately.

"Y/n, it's been a while. You look pretty chummy with those two guys. You doing them of both now? You always were a little slut. You know you can't run from me forever. It was only a matter of time before I caught.." You immediately hang up the phone before setting it back on the table and glancing around the diner.

"Y/n, are you ok?" Dean asks. You continue to glance around and you didnt hear Dean calling your name. It wasn't til he touched your shoulder that you look at him.

"I'm sorry, what?" You ask.

"I was asking if you are ok? You look a little spooked after that call."

"What no, I wasn't....I'm not...it was a wrong number."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

Your phone signals a text message, then another. After three more you shut your phone off. You can feel Sam and Dean's eyes on you but you continue to eat. Even fake a laugh or two to calm their worries. The next day you "drop " your phone destroying it and tell the boys you need to get a new one. You let them know you will give them the new number. After you have a new phone you call all your important contacts and give them the new number. Once you are on a new case in a different town you start to relax. Everything was getting back to normal and you tried to push the anxious feelings away and work the case. You were at the bar interviewing the bartender about the case. You gave her your card and told her to call if she remembered anything. A few hours later you were in the shower and you heard your phone ringing. You wrapped your towel around yourself to head out to the room. Right when you opened the door you saw Dean swipe it to answer and put it on speaker phone. Before he could even say hello an angry voice was yelling through the speaker.

"Fucking bitch! Think you can just keep changing your number? You know I will always find it. When are you going to give up running and come back to me? I saw your dad on a job last week. Would be a shame if something happened to him."

You start shaking and sink to the ground. You can see the anger in Sam and Dean's eyes. Before the voice on the phone can continue speaking Dean starts to yell.

"Who the fuck is this!?"

"Oh I see, you must be one of those assholes she's fucking. Bet she's really good at taking you both, always was a fucking slut."

"You shut your fucking mouth. If you ever call her again I will make you regret it." Dean hangs the phone up before throwing it across the room. He finally looks over at you and sees you hyperventilating. He rushes to your side to help you get your breathing under control. When you are finally calm he asks. "Y/n, who was that?"

"Must be a wrong number." You say looking away.

"Come on sweetheart don't lie to me. I'm here for you."

You get up from the ground and head back into the bathroom to get dressed. Trying to hold back your sobbing. When you finally come out the boys are watching you, waiting for a explanation. You sit on the bed and ask to borrow Dean's phone. You quickly dial your dad's number.

"What?" He says when he answers.

"Dad. It's me."

"What's wrong peanut, are you ok?"

"I'm fine dad...I just...I...it's."

"Alright peanut just breathe tell me what's wrong."

"I just had to let you know...Matt's out of jail. He said he saw you on a job. I need you to promise to be careful."

"They let him out! After everything he did!"

"Calm down dad. Nothing we could do about it now."

"I knew I should have killed him! Do the boys know, I need them to make sure your safe."

"Dean answered the phone when he called a little while ago. He threatened you, wants me to go back to him."

"That's not happening!"

"I know dad. I promise I won't. I'm stronger than I was back then. I just wanted to warn you. I gotta go. Sam and Dean are here waiting for me to explain."

"Ok peanut, just know I'm always here. I love you."

"I know, I love you too. "

You hang up the phone and hold you head in your hands. Dean walks over and sits next to you on the bed while Sam sits in front of you on the other bed. You take a few deep breaths before looking up.

"Sweetheart, talk to us. We are here to help you." Dean says rubbing your back.

"Matt was my boyfriend, I met him on a hunt and we hit it off. Started texting and meeting up on more hunts. Then we started hunting together. Things were great. Once in a while when he was drunk he would get mad and hit me. But I stayed because I made excuses for him, it was the stress of the job, he was just drunk. He always apologized and it never happened when he was sober. Then one night we were at a bar and there was this guy hitting on me. He wouldn't stop even though I told him I wasn't interested. I told Matt and said we should leave. He said he would meet me in the car but when I walked out the guy followed me. He pushed me against a car and tried to kiss me. I was pushing him away when Matt came out. Shoved him off me and grabbed my arm. He drug me to his car and when we got back to the motel he started yelling. I told him I didn't want that guy to kiss me but he just called me a slut and started hitting me. He kicked and punched me over and over. I fought back but he was too strong. I hit him with a lamp and drug myself out the door. The people in the room next to us heard me screaming and called the cops. When I got outside the door he was back on top of me. He punched me a few times before wrapping his hands around my neck. He was in such a rage he didn't notice all the people around. The cops showed up to find him choking me. I lost consciousness before they dragged him off me."

"That son of a bitch! Where do I find him!" Dean stood up and started pacing the room.

"Dean calm down. Y/n, what happened next?" Sam asked.

"I woke up in the hospital a week later. I had a concussion, four broken ribs, my jaw was broken and had to be wired shut for a month. My cheek bone, nose, and eye socket were broken along with my wrist, four fingers and my shoulder was dislocated. He was in jail and they charged him with assault. He took a plea deal and was sentenced to five years. Looks like he got out in only two and a half. "

While you listed your injuries Dean stopped pacing and sat back down next to you. He pulled you in for a hug when you finished talking and you burst into tears.

"We aren't letting him anywhere near you. I promise."

"He has to be here somewhere. I know no one would give him my new number. He had to have gotten ahold of one of my cards, they have my new number on it. I've only given them to two people in town. The bartender and the victim's wife."

"I'll go talk to them. Find out who gave him your number, see if I can find where he is staying. Dean you stay here with y/n and keep her safe." Sam said walking towards the door. "I'll bring some food back too."

When Sam got back there was a box sitting outside the door. He brought it in with the food and set it on the table. You glanced up from your lap top and asked what it was. Dean stood next to Sam while he opened it. Inside was a dead cat along with pictures of you with the boys. There were some from every hunt you had been on for the last month. As soon as you looked in the box Sam quickly closed the lid but you still couldn't stop hyperventilating. You sank to your knees while Sam and Dean rushed to your side trying to calm you down.

"He will never stop!" You sob. Even after you could breathe you couldn't stop crying. Dean lifted you and carried you to the bed. You eventually cried yourself to sleep. After a few hours you woke up screaming but Dean was right there to comfort you. The next morning you left town a quick as possible making sure you weren't followed. Hoping to get away from Matt. Dean drove for hours barely stopping. No set path just taking random roads trying to put distance between you and Matt. You finally stopped at a motel at 2 in the morning to rest. You all slept a few hours. You couldn't sleep and when you saw the sun coming up you decided to go to the diner across the street for coffee and breakfast. As soon as you stepped outside a hand covered you mouth with a cloth that smelled weird. You dropped your purse before you lost consciousness.

Dean woke up and noticed you were gone immediately. He checked the bathroom before opening the door and he saw your purse and a rag on the ground. He picked up the rag and sniffed it. Chloroform. He woke Sam up in a panic. How could he find you, how did Matt find them? They knew no one followed them.

You woke up tied to a chair in the middle of the room. You quickly tried to break free before you saw Matt walk out of the shadows. "How did you find me?" You asked.

"Aww sweetie, I recruited a little help." He glanced over his shoulder when another figure walked out. As soon as he was in the light he flashed his eyes to black and you knew he was a demon.

"What? You're a hunter! How could you work with a demon!"

"Well spending years in jail makes you desperate. How else do you think I got out early?"

"You gave up your soul to get revenge on me? You were the one who attacked me. You were the one who was choking me when the cops showed up. How is any of this my fault?"

"If you weren't such a slut I wouldn't have lost my temper!"

"Fuck you!" You yell and he punches you in the face. He continues to hit you until you pass out.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean called Cas to help find you. After they explain to Cas what happened he disappears to search for you. He comes back a few minutes later and says he thinks he knows where you are but the abandoned building is warded against him. He can sense at least three demons guarding the property and he can't see how many are inside. That must be how Matt was able to keep tabs on you. They drive in silence to the building making a plan. Cas will help take care of the demons outside while Sam and Dean go inside to save you. Cas easily kills all the demons on the outside. Sam and Dean go separate ways and take care of the demons they find inside. Dean walks up to the last door at the end of the hallway when he hears you scream. He kicks in the door and see the demon standing there while Matt is punching you over and over. He tried to rush Matt but he is flung against the wall. The demon holds him there while he is forced to watch Matt cut you with his knife down your arm. Meanwhile Sam has been destroying the angel wardings. Before Matt can cut you again Cas pops up behind the demon and smites him. Matt turns around when he hears the demon scream. Dean drops to the ground and picks up his blade rushing to Matt and stabbing him in the chest before he can hurt you again. He quickly rushes to your side and unties you. Cas walks up next and touches your forehead. All your wounds are healed and you jump into Dean's arms.

"Thank you for coming."

"Anytime sweetheart, you better call your dad, I'm sure he is worried. I had to call him and tell him you were missing."

You take Dean's phone and dial your dad's number.

"Dean where is she!?"

"Dad it's me, Dean and Sam saved me with their angel friend. Matt is dead. Dean killed him."

"I knew that boy was good for something."

"Dad!?"

"How are you peanut?"

"Better, Cas healed me. I was pretty beat up when they got here. Matt was working with demons to find me but it's all over now."

"Well tell the Winchesters I owe them one. Another one. I love you."

"I love you too dad."

"Take care peanut, don't forget to check in."

"I will. Bye dad."

You hung up the phone and handed it back to Dean. He took it before quickly pulled you into a big hug.

"You scared me there sweetheart. Don't ever do that again." Dean said.

"I promise." You leaned up and kissed him. It started out slow before it got deeper. You forgot about everything that wasn't Dean. That is until Sam cleared his throat and you pulled away giggling.

"Let's get out of here sweetheart."

"I thought you'd never ask." You said giving him another peck on the lips before walking up to Sam to give him a hug.

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence, chapter one

Authors note: Hi ok so I’ve never done one of these before (full on fan fic virgin) so please go easy on me. I’ve got a rough plan as to what this story is gonna be, but be prepared to commit & be in it for the long haul, sorry! I hope you enjoy it, feedback is welcome encouraged & also I’d love to do requests if you have any! Thanks for reading 🖤

Warnings: Erm none I don’t think, probs just a bit of language & sexual references

I have no tags as I have no followers as I’ve literally made this blog last night 😂 But hopefully in the future, this is where my tags will go, send me an ask if you want tagging!

Spring ‘81

“That was un-fucking-believable! I can’t wait for them to play again!” Maddie yelled, jumping on my back as we left the Starwood.

“Get off”, I grumbled, pushing her off, irritated by her constant childlike excitement that never seemed to fade. “Play again? You barely saw them play this time, they were too busy fighting with the crowd!”

Maddie giggled, “well yeah, that’s part of the fun, Beth! Yanno, it’s their whole image!”

“I thought their image was tight pants & make up”, I said, rolling my eyes. I was already bored of Mötley Cr��e. I’d spent the last hour watching them awkwardly & drunkenly, stumble though their set, as well as stumble on stage in the high heels they clearly didn’t know how to walk in. They stopped every 5 minutes to fight someone in the audience or take a swig of Jack from the bottle they were sharing between the 4 of them. To say they weren’t my kind of scene was an understatement, but to my music-loving little sister, they were gods & she had no intention of shutting up about them any time soon.

“Did you see the bassist swing his guitar into that guys head?!” Maddie carried on, still riding that post-gig high. “& when the drummer dived off the stage onto the other guy?! Man, they’re so fucking metal”, she laughed.

“Um hm”, I mumbled, tuning her out & power walking ahead, until I spotted her sparking up a cigarette out the corner of my eye.

“What the hell, Maddie?! Put it out!” I yelled. “Daddy will kill you!”

She laughed, taking a long drag & blowing the smoke directly into my already angry face. “Chill out Beth, he won’t!”

“You’re right, he won’t, he’ll kill me for letting you. I’m supposed to look after you, now put it out!” I tried swiping the cigarette from smirking lips, but Maddie was too quick, dodging me. She laughed again, but noted the growing annoyance on my face &, after taking a few quick drags, she dropped it on the floor & stubbed it out with the tip of her white stiletto.

“Great, now you smell like an ash tray! I can’t risk daddy smelling smoke on you, we’re gonna have to go somewhere to kill some time until he’s gone to bed”, I groaned, thinking of the college paper I’d got waiting for me at home, that I’d already put off to accompany Maddie to this stupid gig at my fathers request. I inwardly cursed them both as I pushed open the door to the overcrowded diner. I was immediately hit by the smell of yet more smoke, partnered with bacon & coffee. The grubby dinner was harshly lit & loud, with the buzz of a Saturday night in West Hollywood. We sat down in one of the few remaining booths, just as an middle aged waitress came up & asked for our order.

“I’ll take some blueberry pancakes & a Jack & Coke please”, Maddie smiled, sitting up straighter & sticking out her chest a little, in a feeble attempt to appear older than her 18 years.

“No she won’t,” I cut in sharply, shooting her a look that told her not to keep pushing me tonight. “We’ll both just take a coffee please, thank you.” The waitress smirked at Maddie & winked, before nodding at me & walking off.

“Maddie, quit while you’re ahead”, I snapped, having had enough of her rebellion for one night. She rolled her eyes & looked away from my glare. Suddenly, something behind me caught her attention because her mouth instantly dropped open & I noticed her cheeks flush a girlish pink.

“Holy shit Beth it’s them, it’s fucking Mötley Crüe!” She whispered, her eyes growing wide & following them as the walked past our table to a booth a few down from where we were sat. “Holy shit, holy shit, I can’t believe it!”

“Mads, seriously, they’re just some guys that have played a couple of crappy shows at the Starwood, they’re not famous. Get a hold of yourself”, I scoffed. I fished in my bag for my textbook just as the waitress came over with our coffee. I thanked her & opened up my book, mentally patting myself on the back for thinking ahead & bringing some sort of study aid with me, being as I couldn’t get started on my paper tonight. I started reading, but Maddies out loud commentary on everything the leather-clad band were doing repeatedly cut in to my studying.

“Oh my god look at them! The bassist is so flirting with that waitress! What th- He’s just started bashing the drummers head on the table!” She laughed. “Beth look! Beth, you’re not looking!”

I sighed & glanced up from my book towards the foursome, just in time to see one of them with long, curly brown hair inhale a cigarette through his nose & blow it out of his mouth. “Charming”, I muttered, getting back to my studies as Maddie giggled like a schoolgirl.

“Do you think I should go over there?” She asked seriously, looking at me with eager eyes.

“Absolutely not!” I snapped, thinking of the heart attack our dad would have if he knew his precious Madeline had hung out with four drunk 20-somethings, dressed head to toe in leather & studs. I looked at Maddie, looking longingly over at this literal motley crew & knew her mind was already made up. “Mads, I mean it!” I hissed at her, as I watched her stand up, playing deaf to my protests.

“I’ll be back in a sec..” & she let her sentence trail off & she strutted over to their table.

“Goddamn it.” I shoved my book back in my bag, zipped it up, left my coffee to go cold & walked over to their table, just as one of them with teased black hair & smeared black lines on his cheekbones pulled Maddie down on to his lap. She was giggling & telling them all how great the show was.

I stopped next to her, hand on my hip & cleared my throat, a little too patronisingly. All five of them looked up at me.

“Maddie, come on, we’ve gotta get home”, I said, making sure that my eyes were conveying to her the anger that I was trying to keep from seeping into my voice.

“Calm down, doll”, the one who’s lap my sister was perched on said, “come join us for a little bit, we’re just getting to know your friend here”. He flashed an arrogant smirk at me that made my skin crawl & my knees go weak all at the same time. I watched his hand slither around Maddies waist & saw her blush once again & giggle.

“She’s not my friend, she’s my little sister & we’re heading home now. Maddie, let’s go.”

“I don’t want to!”, she whined, pouting her lips at me

“Let her have some fun!” exclaimed the beautiful blonde, who I recalled being the singer. “Why don’t you sit down?”, he said, as he grabbed my hand & pulled me into the seat next to him, opposite Maddie & the handsy one with the devilish smirk. “What’s your name?” Handsy asked, downing a shot of Jack.

“Erm, Elizabeth.” I said, a little flustered by how forward they were.

“Lizzy, pleasure to meet you, I’m Nikki Sixx”, he said, removing his hand from stroking my sisters waist & offering it to me for a hand shake.

“Beth, not Lizzy,” I replied, ignoring his outstretched hand. He smirked again, returning his hand, now to my sisters ass. “This is Vince Neil, our singer”, he said, looking at the blonde next to me, “Mick Mars, guitarist”, he nodded towards a slightly older looking man who was sipping from a hip flask before stashing it back in his leather trench coat, “& this is our drummer, To-“

“I’m Tommy, Tommy Lee!”, cut in the boyish, curly haired brunette that I saw smoking through his nose earlier. He was almost as exciteable as Maddie as he stood up & leaned across the table to shake my hand. I instinctively shook it, despite my reservations to shake Nikkis hand. I don’t know what it was, but something about Tommy just felt friendly & warm. I smiled at him as he sat back down.

“So what did you think of the show?” Tommy quizzed, practically bouncing in his seat.

“I loved it! You guys fucking killed it up there.” Maddie gushed, going pink again, as I noticed Nikki grip firmly on her ass as she praised them.

Pig, I thought.

“& what about you Lizzy?” Nikki drawled, that smirk playing on the corners of lips as he followed my eyeline to his hand, reading my mind.

“Not really my sorta thing. Too heavy.” I stated, refusing to break my glare at Nikki. They all laughed at my answer.

“Thank you!” said Nikki, that smirk plastered across his face once again.

“Beth isn’t really into this kinda scene”, Maddie babbled, “she’s always too busy studying to have any actual fun.. I don’t think she even knows how to!” I knew she was only poking fun, but her words irritated & embarrassed me all the same. I gave her a swift kick under the table, only for Nikki to jump as I realised too late that my Dr Marten had instead come in contact with his leg. I blushed awkwardly & he saw, a flash of mischief playing in those pale green eyes as he enjoyed my discomfort.

“You don’t have to play footsie with me doll,” he laughed arrogantly, “just let me know if you’re interested & I’ll swap your sister out for you.”

“Pig,” I mumbled, out loud this time, which only caused him to laugh more.

“Not a fucking chance Sixx, finders keepers.” Grinned Vince, draping his arm around my neck. He looked at me with eyes I knew most girls wouldn’t resist & he gently twisted a piece of my hair around his finger. “So babe, you’re not a fan huh? How can I change your mind?”, he purred, staring at my lips as I scoffed at his advances.

“Write better music”, I laughed. Nikkis head shot round from whispering god knows what in to my little sisters ear & glared at me. “You’ve got a problem with my music?” He snapped, not looking for an answer, but an arguement.

“Told you, it’s not my sort of thing”, I shrugged, not caring if I offended him.

“Of course it’s not”, his voice & his face relaxing slightly, “girls like you never want to admit they like our music. It’s too raw for their clean cut, I’m-too-good-for-everyone image.” He smirked.

“‘Girls like me’?!” I fired back, feeling my face growing hot. “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I know all about you, Princess. I’ve fucked enough girls like you to know exactly how it goes.” he started, that smirk growing by the second. “First you pretend my music & my lifestyle is beneath you, like you’re too good to party with us. Then you start to get bored & realise how dull your self-obsessed life actually is & you crave some excitement. Then suddenly, a bad boy in your bed seems like a pretty fucking good idea, because I’ll tell you now Princess, we might wear lipstick, but we’ll fuck you better than your preppy jock boyfriends ever could.” Nikki sat back, that smirk wider than ever, as his band mates sniggered around him. I looked at Maddie, who was desperately trying to stifle her girlish giggle.

I saw red. I was ready to slap that smug face & storm out, but that egotistical smile triggered something in me that made me feel bold & brave. I sat there & smirked right back at him. “First of all, you don’t know me. Second, I’m not ‘too good’ to party with you, more like too busy, studying to get a real job so I’m not stuck playing half-assed gigs for 20 people in the Starwood every other weekend for no pay. Second, being ‘self-obsessed’ has taught me one thing.. I fuck me better than you ever could, so what use are you to me?” I heard Tommy laugh out loud before clapping a hand over his mouth. “But yanno,” I continued without breaking eye contact with Nikki, “a bad boy does seem fun..”, I turned to look at Vince, entangled my fingers in his hair & kissed him. I felt him freeze up, then immediately relax & pull me eagerly on to his lap, holding the back of my neck & pulling me in closer. He tasted like whiskey & cigarettes. I pulled away & looked over at Nikki, that smile suddenly gone from his face. Everyone else at the table was staring at me with their mouths open, except for Vince who was smiling from ear to ear. “You’re right about one thing though Nikki.. I am bored.” & with that, I stood up. “Maddie, we’re leaving.”

I grabbed my sisters hand & pulled her up off the devils lap & strutted away, my head high & my heart racing.

“Fucking bitch”, I heard Nikki mumble.

I pushed open the door to the diner & the brisk midnight air hit me in the face. It was a welcome relief. I stood there for a second, my heart still thumping away in my chest from the adrenaline. “Cigarette.” I said to Maddie, extending my hand without looking at her. She obliged, handing one to me, her eyes wide like she was seeing me for the first time. I lit it & took a long drag, the nicotine flooding my system & calming my nerves.

“Who are you?!” Maddie whispered with a smile, finally finding her voice.

“Please, I smoked way before you did, you fucking teenager.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “I just know how to hide it from daddy better than you.”

“What in the fuck just happened in there?! You just full on tongued the fucking front man of Mötley Crüe! What have you done with my sister?!” She cackled, absolutely bursting with excitement & laughter once again.

“Hey, there were no tongues, ew!” I laughed, “Urgh I don’t know, that goddamn bassist just got to me, I didnt like how he spoke as if he knew me. I wanted to shock him or something, I don’t know..” I let my sentence trail off. In all honesty, I’m wasn’t sure why I kissed Vince. Nikkis voice was ringing in my ears, mocking me & a part of me just wanted prove him wrong.

“I don’t care why you did it, I’m so fucking proud! My dorky big sister, the groupie!” Joked Maddie, jumping up on my shoulders once again.

“I don’t think so, if I never saw that band again, it’d be too soon. Especially that Nikki Sixx.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Speak of the devil & he shall appear.” Came a velvet smooth voice from behind me. I turned to see the devil in the form of Nikki, leaning against the wall, sparking up a cigarette. He took a drag & walked towards us, fixing his eyes on mine as he walked up to my little sister. He put his fingers under her chin, tilted her head up & pressed his lips against hers. I watched her melt against him, wrapping her arms around his neck & kissing him back. Anger flooded back through me. Who does this asshole think he is? For just a second before he pulled away, his eyes opened & stared at me once again, hoping to see my reaction. Then he removed himself from my sister, flashed a conceited smile my way before looking back at Maddie.

“I hope to see you at one of my gigs soon, doll”, he murmured to her, lazily kissing her on the cheek & turning to walk back inside. “You too Lizzy.” he said.

“It’s Beth,” I shot back, irritated all over again.

“I know,” he said, smirking at me one last time before the door shut behind him.

God, I hated him.

[loove-persevering]

What It’s Like To Be You Pt 2

Description: Ok you really don’t have to read the first part for this to make sense but it would be appreciated! This is based of the song Like to be you by Shawn featuring Julia Michaels! 

Part one should be near the top of my profile!!!! Sorry I’m new and don’t know how to link it yet:(

ENJOYYY

   It had been about eight months since the night you ended things with Shawn. It had been eight long months of finding out a new way to live life, one without Shawn. The paparazzi was on me for the first two months or so after the breakup, I tried to stay in as much as I could to avoid being pictured and only went out when you knew that I would be safe and weren’t being stalked. 

  Shawn got a lot of press for the break up, him being newly single and on the market finally after almost two long years. I had seen all the questions his fans were asking about the breakup making their speculations about the situation, I had established a pretty good relationship with his fans during our relationship, commenting back to as many people as you could and liking edits of Shawn that they made. That being said some of the fans were thrilled to hear about the breakup while others were worried about how Shawn was taking it.

From what you could make out he was doing well, for the remainder of his break from tour after your break up he made a lot more appearances at clubs and as well as being linked to almost every model he was seen with. I knew Shawn and I didn’t think he would have moved on so quickly no matter what any news site was saying. It felt almost ironic to be checking up on him through the news, when you dated the last thing you looked at was the news not wanting to see all the rumors that were made about you and him. 

  Shawn didn’t try and contact you after that night, he called once right after I had left, leaving a voice message that you still had saved on your phone. Trying not to keep up with Shawn was almost impossible he was everywhere on the radio, the news, on twitter. He was back on tour now the American leg almost ending and you knew he would be coming back to Los Angeles soon after he went and saw his family. I kept in touch with Karen and Aaliyah but that became a bit more scarce as the months went on. 

I had gotten a new lease at an apartment complex and had just got back from a night out with my friends, they were there for me after the breakup when I needed all the distraction I could get. I unlock the door pushing it open removing my purse and coat throwing them on the couch. I walk into my room and change into some shorts and an old tee shirt, I was putting my hair up when I heard a knock at the door. Confused I picked up my phone walking to the front door of my apartment, I look through the peep hole and I felt my heart stop right then.

Shawn.

He was here, right outside my door. He was wearing a light brown jacket his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked good. 

He knocks at the door again, looking a bit more hesitant this time. I quickly take a step back taking a breath before answering the door, it doesn’t help it because as soon as I saw his face as I answered the door it felt like I didn’t know how to breath. 

‘‘Shawn, hey,’‘ I say breathlessly. 

‘‘Hey,’‘ He says. I lean against the door and we both kind of stand there awkwardly I look down at Shawn’s feet a nervous habit that he had pointed out when we first started dating. He said I always looked at peoples feet when I was nervous, which right now was true because I was insanely nervous. ‘‘Can I come in?’‘ He asks gesturing toward the inside of my apartment. 

‘‘Yeah, of course.’‘ I say. I step aside widening the door so he could come in. When he walks in he looks uncomfortable like he didn’t feel confident which wasn’t the Shawn I knew. He was looking around taking glances at the pictures on my wall none of them were of him, and looking around the place. I had taken half our furniture as well as a few vases for around the house. ‘‘You look great Shawn,’‘ I say his name feeling foreign coming out of my mouth. 

He turns around to face me, ‘’Yeah, you too,’’ He says reaching up clutching his shoulder. 

‘‘Uhm, do you want a drink? a water or anything?’‘ I ask him turning around to the fridge quickly grabbing myself one and him even if he didn’t say he wanted one he was getting one. I hand him the water bottle our hands almost touching but not quite, ‘’Sorry if they’re not cold my fridge doesn’t get too cold,’’ I apologize. 

He doesn’t say anything and I once again look down to the floor at his shoes, ‘’I kind of hate how awkward this is,’’ He says. 

I look up at him and let out an exasperated laugh, ‘’Yeah, me too.’’ I sigh. 

I take a seat at the table and so does he, ‘’You seem to be doing really well, I’m happy for you.’’ I force myself to say. I was happy for him but at the same time I felt I had to force myself to say it because I wasn’t any part of the reason for it. 

'’It’s bullshit,’’ He says. My eyes widen and I look up at him surprised. ‘’It’s bullshit the way you left Y/N. I didn’t want you to leave and I told you that.’’ He says his face unreadable, ‘’I knew what was best for me, and it was you. Then you go and decide for me?’’ He asks looking up at me, I can finally see the hurt expression on his face. ‘’You have no idea what it’s been like for me without you.’’

I felt my heart skip a beat, he missed me. ‘’I did what I thought was best at the time,’’ I try to explain. ‘’What else was I suppose to do? Just wait for you to realize that I was waiting at home for you and when you finally decide to roll in and love me that would be enough?’’ I say, his accusations were getting to me, I did what I did out of love for him and respect for myself. ‘’I deserved more than that, I still do. You can’t just decide to love me when it’s convenient for you!’’ I say trying to calm myself down as I could feel my voice rising. 

He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, he coughs clearing his throat just before talking, ‘’I had no idea what it was like for you Y/N. I didn’t realize it I was getting caught up in the fame and the lifestyle.’’ He admits. ‘’These past eight months, these eight fucking months have been so hard without you.’’ He says gripping his water bottle tightly. I look down at the ground distracting myself looking at the pattern of the floor. ‘’I missed you so much,’’ He says and when I look up he was crying. 

I felt the lump closing up my throat and I knew I was close to crying. ‘’I thought that-’’ I pause hearing how fragile and broken my voice sounded. ‘’I thought that it was the best thing for us at the time, but I miss you Shawn everyday,’’ I say making eye contact with him. 

‘‘But I can’t go back to living like we were, it takes both of us Shawn. We both have to work to make this work.’‘ I emphasize. ‘‘These past few months you seemed so out there, are you telling me that was all just you pretending?’‘ I ask him.

‘’Of course it was Y/N’‘ He scoffs, ‘‘I realize now that I did neglect you, but I also realized that every night no matter how long I stayed out or who I went out with I was coming home to you,’‘ He explains, ‘‘I was coming home to you.’‘

‘‘But I wasn’t Shawn, you were home you being with me made it home and you were never there.’’ I see his lip quiver when I say it. 

‘‘After you left I was so pissed, I knew you were the one who texted Brian and Geoff because that’s a totally you thing to do,’‘ He says a hint of a smile on his face as he looks up at me through his curls. ‘‘I was so pissed I remember punching the wall and I remember that I said some stupid shit,’‘ He says and I can tell it hurts him to have to recall that night. 

‘‘But after everything, all you said and what you called me out for, it didn’t make me love you any less. I tried telling myself I hated you for leaving me and that you were just to stubborn to put up with it all,’‘ He says and I twitch my eyebrow up slightly offended, ‘‘But I was lying to myself, and Brian and Geoff we all knew I was lying.’‘ He sighs. ‘‘I knew you what you wanted and I knew that begging you to come back wouldn’t do anything so I did what you wanted. I went out and got drunk and did the rest of tour, went to all the events and now I’m here Y/N,’‘ He pauses. ‘‘I still ended up right back here with you.’‘

I had no words for what he just said, none at all came to mind. I just stared at him my face blank but I could still feel the tears dripping from my cheek and down my neck. ‘’You still want me?’’ I ask him softly my voice barely a whisper, ‘’Really?’’ I ask him in shock myself. 

‘‘Just you,’‘ He says. 

I take my hand placing it over my mouth trying to hold back a sob, I quickly get out of the chair as does he and he take his arms wrapping them around my body just like how he always use to. ‘’I love you, I missed you.’’ I say into his chest, I can feel him laugh his chest moving up and down. He pulls away slightly and takes his hand to my chin tilting it up before kissing me. It had been eight months so long since I had felt his lips and his warmth. I kiss him back putting my hand around his neck pulling him in as much as I could as if we couldn’t get any closer to each other. 

When we pull away he rest his forehead on mine, ‘’Who gave you my address by the way?’’ I ask pulling away from him slightly. 

‘‘Your mom,’‘ He says smiling, ‘‘We kept in touch she told me how you were doing,’‘

‘‘Gotta love her,’‘ I say laughing. 

I look back up at him just taking him in and his new features that I had missed in the long months without him. I run my hands through his hair and down the side of his face finally feeling the one thing I had been missing and would hopefully never be again. I never knew if Shawn and I would come back to one another but I had always hoped we would, and that was exactly what this moment was everything I had lost coming back to me.

THE END!!! 

Thanks for so much love on Part one Hope you all enjoy this one just as much! :)

[cloudfiveclub]

age is just a number ➵ z.d.j.

Summary ; Zabdiel’s always had a thing for older women.

Warning(s) ; swearing

Word Count ; 2.2k+

Author’s Note ; hey everyone! this is the first part of a collab series @dimelomamii and I have written together. pretty basic of a plot with cliches, but hopefully you guys enjoy it! let us know your thoughts and if you’d like to see a continuation x

masterlist

disclaimer | these are only based on my own opinions and imagination and are purely fictitious, as such they in no way accurate or true

When the hell is this meeting going to end?

You had been stuck in this meeting for about three hours discussing the designs for a skyscraper your company got commissioned for another in Shanghai. You loved your job, but this project was just so boring. Your boss was just droning on and on about all the unimportant stuff, and the details that were crucial were not being discussed. You had tried bringing it up a few times, but it seemed like nobody was quite interested in that just yet.

“Alright everyone, we will pick up where we left off tomorrow,” your boss finally concluded. You sighed quietly in relief, gathering my materials and making a beeline for the elevator, dodging attempts at conversation from your coworkers as politely as you could. You packed up your stuff at your desk, before exiting the building, making your way to the train station nearby. It was the evening rush hour, and the subway was jammed pack with people all eagerly rushing to get home.

Along the way, you came across a poster of that one boy band your younger sister, Camila was in love with. CNCO, they were called. You didn’t know them very well, you just knew they were talented and attractive. Camila, on the other hand, was ready to die for them. She’d emphasised that fact on numerous occasions; swooning over their “ridiculously good looks”, more particularly the one with a curly mop of black hair who always wore a bandana. Joseph or Jacob or something.

Still, while you weren’t a huge fan, Camila still was, which was why you had taken the liberty of getting VIP tickets for the both of you for their concert in the city the following month. Lucky for her too it lined up right on her 19th birthday. You still remembered the absolute joy on her face when you told her she was actually going to get a chance to meet the “loves of her life”. She’d screamed at the top of her lungs, immediately pulling you into a crushing hug. She claimed you were the “best sister ever”, in which you responded that she didn’t have a choice on that seeing that you were her only sister. Nothing made you happier than seeing her happy.

You weren’t going to admit it out loud, but you were pretty excited to meet them too, even if you didn’t particularly like them as much as most of the other girls. You’d seen some interviews, and listened to a few of their songs, and they seemed like great, talented boys. You really were looking forward to meeting them, but for now, there were more important things to take care of.

Like that boring project.

-

“Just go straight to your left and you will find the room with a sign that says meet and greet and just join the queue,” the guard informs the both of you as he scans your tickets. You thanked him, and Camila and you make your way inside. She was practically buzzing with joy, excitement evident in her large eyes.

“God, I know I’ve said this a million times by thank you so much, Jen,” Camila said to you once again. Her hand gripped your arm tightly, squeezing in gratefulness, and over-excitement. “You’re seriously the best sister anyone could ask for.”

“I know,” you responded, laughing lightly.

You reached the designated room backstage, and you were immediately struck by how chattery everyone was. Girls of all ages were abuzz with excitement and talking to one another, whether or not they personally knew each other or not. You could barely remember the last time you’d seen so many fangirls in one place. This was a young people thing, you’d told yourself. You remembered coming for meet and greets and going to concerts when you were younger, but you were a grown working adult now, you barely had the time.

“I’m really nervous Jen, what will they think of me?” Camila blabbered nervously. She ran her hand through her hair in attempt to make herself look better, although she already looked perfectly fine. “Do I look ok?” she asked, turning to face you.

“You look great and don’t worry, they will love you. Just be yourself, but don’t jump onto what’s-his-name. Bandana guy. Give him some space, alright?” you tell her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. You look back up, and screams sounded out suddenly as the boys came backstage. You swore you saw someone faint, but you couldn’t quite tell from all the chaos.

“Oh my god, look at Joel,” Camila practically squeals in your ear, grabbing onto your arm and shaking it vigorously. You wince when she yells, but you laugh her enthusiasm off. “Fucking hell, he looks better in person,” she adds on, fanning herself dramatically with her other hand. You snort, rolling your eyes at her reaction. He was kind of cute, you figured.

Security calms everyone down as best as they could; slightly redundant but still a solid effort before they started the meet and greets. The two of you wait in line patiently - well, you did, you couldn’t say the same about Camila - until security motions you to pass through a curtain that leads to the stage where the boys were standing and talking to one another.

Grace and composure, you’d reminded Camila, but that piece of advice seemed to fly out of her head as she skipped over to Bandana guy and pulled him into an eager hug without so much of a “hello”. Or “hola”, since they were latino.

You trailed behind her, greeting them as Camila moved on to the other members to do her round of hugging and fangirling. Standing next to Bandana guy was a particularly tall member. She wrapped her arms around him and he returned the hug warmly, and when he looked back up to say hello to you, you swore he did a double take.

“Hola,” he greeted, his tone a little off. You raised your eyebrows in confusion, but gave him a friendly smile. You let Camila have them to herself, and you kept your eye on her to make sure she didn’t do anything particularly stupid or invasive. But in your peripheral vision, you could see the tall one eyeing you. 

Damn, was he not going to take his eyes off of you? Was there something on your face? Did you put too much blush on by accident?

You glanced at him briefly, making eye contact awkwardly for a split second before you moved your gaze over to your sister again.

A little awkward... but at least he’s good looking.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you inwardly thanked the heavens for saving you from a mildly awkward situation and instead giving you something to do to make yourself seem preoccupied. You fish your phone out of your back pocket, opening up the lockscreen to see a new text from one of your coworkers regarding work. You typed a response to her, but as your fingers were moving across the keyboard, you started to get a feeling that someone was moving towards you.

You look back up, and realise it’s the tall one from earlier making his way towards you. You stood awkwardly in place as he approached you. He wasn’t that far away, but it seemed like he was taking forever to get to you. It was like some intense scene from a movie, and you couldn’t help the nerves that had started to creep up on you as he walked towards you.

When he finally reached you, he stood awfully close. Maybe even a little too close. He had an intense gaze, and you felt instantly vulnerable simply just by looking at him. He looked even taller up close too, and he towered over you intimidatingly.

“Uh... Hi?” you said, your tone making it sound more like a question rather than a friendly ‘hello’. “Can I help you?”

Zabdiel’s POV 

“Perdona, sabes dónde está la tierra? Porque desde que te vi ando en las nubes,” I spoke as lowly as I could.

I noticed how a visible blush crept onto her face when I said that, and it definitely only fuelled my ego. It must have worked. Not one of my best pick-up lines, but if it made her blush, it means it really wasn’t that bad.

She was absolutely gorgeous, and had quite a nice looking rack going on in front. I let my eyes rake down the length of her body quickly, slow enough that she noticed it but fast enough to seem like I was merely doing a quick once over of her. I didn’t want to seem like such a creep.

She mustered up a pretty smile, though I did get a feeling she was midly uncomfortable. “I don’t really know you guys, sorry, aha,” she told me, her tone still light. “My sister’s the bigger fan,” she added, gesturing to the other girl. I looked over, and saw her sister almost draped across Joel, but still simultaneously talking to Richard and Chris. I had to hold in a laugh. Joel was always one of the more popular ones amongst the fans.

“Uh- what’s your name, by the way? And how old are you?” She asked me.

I stuck out my hand, prompting her to shake it. Her hand was small and smooth against mine, and the differences in our palm size almost had me distracted for a second.

“Zabdiel, 21. You are?”

“Jennifer and I’m-”

But before she could finish her introduction, the security guards had started guiding both her and her sister away, an indicator that their time was pretty much up and had to leave. My heart skipped a beat, panicking momentarily when I realised I only knew her by name and physical looks, and didn’t have a number or anything. I didn’t have time to ask for any of that, but thankfully her sister delayed their leave for a little.

“Wait! I didn’t get a picture!” She exclaimed. She handed her phone over to a guard, and pulled both me and Jennifer into the frame quickly, pushing Jennifer between me and Richard while she stood between Joel and Chris. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer, and put on a grin like always.

“I’d love if I could have your number, cariña,” I whispered to her quietly through clenched teeth while the guard snapped a few shots. “I’d like to get to know you more.”

“No offense, but I’m not that interested,” she whispered back. My heart dropped a little when she said that, shoulders slumping slightly. Disappointing, but I wasn’t going to pass up on an opportunity to get to know a pretty girl that easily.

“Can I at least have your Instagram?” I murmured, stepping away as the guard gave a thumbs up, indicating the picture had been taken. She looks at me skeptically for a few moments, before she nods. She gives me her user, and I fish my phone out of my pocket hurriedly to type it in and find it. It was private, so I sent in a request, but before I could thank her properly, she and her sister were ushered away.

“Gracias mamita, enjoy the show!” I shouted after her anyway.

-

Jennifer’s POV 

Goddamn, you still had zero idea what happened.

You still couldn’t quite believe your luck; having a man as attractive as that ask for your number?

Zabdiel, his name was, was performing on stage with the rest of his bandmates. And you were pretty much salivating. He was a guy who knew how to move those hips, and you didn’t understand how he could feel zero shame doing something as sinful as grinding into the air like that. It was ridiculous. Guys your age were nowhere near as good looking as him.

You blushed furiously when his eyes met yours, and his left eye dropped into a wink. The few girls directly in front and behind you went wild instantly, and you knew they were screaming because every one of them thought he had winked at them. But you knew it was directed at you. His hand moved down towards his crotch for a brief second, and he grinded against his hand and you didn’t know if it was possible, but all the girls around you screamed louder.

You could barely take your eyes off of him the entirety of the show, completely in awe and starstruck even though you weren’t a fan. Well, you were definitely one now.

The time went by way too quickly for your liking, and before you knew it, you were back home after dropping your sister at your mother’s place. You were still in a daze from what had happened, and all of Camila’s swooning and rambling went in one ear and out the other the whole car ride.

Jesus, you didn’t even have sex with him, Jen, all he did was hump the air and you’re already dying.

You huffed as you threw your keys into the dish on the table, ready to collapse into bed after such an eventful day, but before you could do anything else, you got a notification from instagram.

You opened it up, and it brought you to the ‘requests’ section in your DMs. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest when you saw who it was from. Zabdiel.

[svtskneecaps]

that damn need to please

Group/Member: Seventeen’s Wen Junhui

Words: 1558

Hogwarts AU

ok admittedly i’m not super super confident in this one but in my defense the request was just ‘Slytherin!Jun x Hufflepuff!reader’ and this is what happened. creative liberties and all that. it’s a one shot so understandably there’s not much buildup. sorry, probably a disappointment, but hey it’s long enough to meet the word count for a Written Assignment so now i can hate myself for being able to crank this out in two sittings but the other thing took like a decade and a half.

@letsseehowhappyyouare

sorry in advance here we go

Main Masterlist

You were tired.

Tired with a capital T, tired with a ™. Just- so tired.

It was the need to please, you decided. That damn need to please. And that damn Slytherin.

You were no fool. Stereotypes didn’t mean shit, you were an example. Hufflepuffs were supposed to be like the good Christian kids with a plate of cookies or whatever. Like Santa’s elves or something. Rosy cheeked and bright eyed. Meanwhile you slung curse words and downed energy drinks like you’d die if you didn’t get another sip with eye bags deep enough to carry groceries and a great death stare. That was the Ravenclaw archetype.

But this Slytherin?

Maybe you just didn’t know him well enough, but he purported like the stereotype that everyone had latched onto in the 1980s or whatever. Latched onto hardcore. You’re talking smirking, the vaguely holier-than-thou brand of confidence, the works. If you added a bit of a blood purity complex then the only thing keeping him from being the next Draco Malfoy would be the fact that he actually looked hot as a platinum blond but if anyone asked you’d immediately deny ever thinking it.

And maybe it was the damn need to please that made you so fluttery and frustrated. The damn need to please that said you should befriend the guy, who’d made it very clear that he was very much satisfied with his current crew and didn’t want jack from anybody, friendship at the forefront.

You’d noticed a commonality in your problems and almost all of them stemmed from your need to please. You were gonna throw that out, you swore.

“Why are you giving your chicken a death stare?” Soonyoung teased.

“It offended me,” you deadpanned, jabbing at it with a fork and missing, the prongs hitting the plate with an angry screech.

“No really.”

You dropped the fork, tangling your hands in your hair. “We got assigned new patrol routes this morning. I got one of the real late routes, starting tonight.”

Wonwoo clicked his tongue. “This is why I didn’t want to be a prefect.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Seokmin said optimistically. “You always say you’re a night owl.”

“Yeah but I do my homework at that time of night.” You sighed. “But that’s not all. I do part of the route with Junhui.”

“He’s not that bad.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes.

“The problem isn’t what he is, it’s what he acts like.” You dropped your head onto the table, narrowly missing a plate of mashed potatoes. “He could be the nicest damn guy on the planet underneath all the snark, but that’s still beneath the snark and I swear to god I don’t have the mental energy for the snark or for digging through the snark.”

“So don’t talk to him.”

“I also don’t have the mental energy for that.” You picked your head up a little and slammed it back down, making the silverware jump.

“How does not talking to someone take mental energy?”

“Cause then I’ll start dwelling on how quiet it is and how I’m obviously not doing my job because one hundred percent I took the whole beginning school welcoming thing way too serious and now I’m in too deep with the helpful Hufflepuff attitude.”

“You could say,” Hansol started, leaning in with a sly grin, “that the helpful Hufflepuff is harmful.”

You didn’t even look up.

The crack of fucking dawn came before you knew it. You were doing your homework in the Hufflepuff Common Room by the dying fire when the alarm you’d set for yourself went off. Loudly.

You fell out of your chair trying to shut it off.

Still lacing up your shoes you all but fell out the entrance, the barrel lid closing behind you. You probably looked like a mess, since you’d requested a neck breather to keep you on task and Soonyoung’s methods of getting you on track involved throwing things, or as he called it, practicing for his OWLs. You were pretty sure using the Banishing Charm to throw pillows and occasionally you across the room wasn’t actually going to be on the OWLs, but you digress.

Jun was waiting at the entrance to the Great Hall, none too patiently. Well, good for him. You were celebrating the little victories. Maybe you weren’t quite on time but you hadn’t tripped on the way up the stairs, so hey, that was a win in your book.

“Glad you decided to show up,” he said. Honestly, you were kind of surprised by the inflection. You were expecting Sharpay Evans but. . . you were pretty sure there was a hint of sincerity in there. Somewhere.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” you answered, a bit more stiff than you intended, but whatever.

He quirked an eyebrow. “That’s a tone and a half.”

“Thought it was high time I joined the club.” You shoved your hands into your pockets. “You have a tone issue, I’ve got a tone issue, even the score board.”

You caught him smiling, though he was obviously trying to suppress it. “That didn’t make a bit of sense.”

“Guess we know why I’m not a Ravenclaw,” you joked.

Silence fell, and you dragged your shoe awkwardly across the tiles.

“We gonna do this or wait until the sun comes up?” Jun finally asked.

“I don’t know, sunrise sounds good to me,” you deadpanned, but started walking anyway.

And patrols kind of. . . continued like that. You’d be lowkey flustered and awkward (because that damn need to please) and he’d act all collected, until somehow purely by accident you’d wear him down and suddenly he’d be cracking up at you. Like the time you were walking the Charms corridor and Peeves knocked something over and you emitted a very unflattering squeak and blew the classroom door open, completely on accident. Apparently Jun found that hilarious, and adorable, in his words even you blushed for the next thirty minutes. Every patrol he got softer faster and stayed that way longer and honestly you had no idea how you’d even been alive before seeing this boy in a laughing fit. You weren’t sure how you were alive after either..

But the weird part was, he stayed the same during the day. He didn’t say hi in the halls, or class, or the library, or in the Great Hall. You’d make eye contact and he’d just look away. Like okay Junie B, two can play at that game, and you could respect his boundaries. If he’d prefer to keep the friendship (if that was what it was) under wraps, you were cool with that.

Kind of.

You were cool with it but that didn’t mean you weren’t curious.

“Hey Jun,” you started, finally getting up your nerve like a month later, “we’re cool, right?”

He glanced at you. “What do you mean? Course we’re cool. Why?”

You shrugged, trying not to let on your blazing insecurity. “I dunno. Just, you never talk to me outside of the routes. I mean, I totally get if it’s just a convenience friendship, but- I dunno.”

“No, no way, it’s not that,” he promised, without hesitation. “Just-” He stopped. It took a couple corridors for him to find the thought, but he got it. “My friends would tease you,” he said. “And trust me, you don’t want that.”

You snorted. “Why do I find it hard to believe that anyone can tease me worse than BooSeokSoon.”

“Trust me, you’ve never seen Yoon Jeonghan when faced with romantic tension.” Jun rolled his eyes with a laugh. “He pestered Mingyu nonstop for months.”

“Romantic tension?” You got stuck on that part. Probably it would be safer to just go down the path of Mingyu’s relationship, but you were also going to eat yourself for every meal for the next month if you didn’t investigate the first bit, so whatever.

He looked like he suddenly registered what he’d said. “Um- yeah.”

“We have romantic tension,” you repeated, processing.

He sighed. “Okay I wanted to admit this in a better way, but- I have a massive crush on you.” He lifted his hands and stepped away. You suddenly registered you’d stopped walking. “There. I said it.”

You squinted at him. “How are you so at ease admitting that.”

He shrugged, somewhat awkwardly. “Been stewing over a confession for awhile?” he admitted.

“No really,” you said. “How. Because I’ve had a crush on you for like- a while and not once did I imagine any confession coming out of my mouth that sounds as graceful as that one.”

He got this cute little smile. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’m a mess.” You ran your hands through your hair in agitation, before glancing up. “Oh wait, you meant the crush bit.”

He nodded, still with that same little smile.

“Not the confession delivery bit.”

He nodded.

You fought the urge to charm yourself and run for it. It was a convincing option. Literally the one thing keeping you there was the fact that he’d gone first. And. . . it was requited.

Holy shit, it was requited!

“So,” Jun said, abruptly snapping you back, “there’s a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. Should we make it a date?”

You beamed. “Sure thing.”

You could weather the teasing if it meant you saw his smile more often.