#'look at them hanging out!! having so much fun-

[leclercsluvs]

LN4 | Our Forever Moment

an: i still don't really know how much i like to make written fics, but i have ideas for them so i'm going to continue to try and write them, i think. my first language is NOT english, so sorry if there's any mistakes <3 pairing: lando norris x fem!reader, vasseur!reader (this is gonna be fun, lowkey not important, gets mentioned like a few times because i forgot) warnings: swearing (like twice) inspired by: mine - taylor swift word count: 6.2k

As she’s being dragged to another race, she wonders when her dad is going to realize she's always running off and never in the garage of his own team, she doesn’t know that he’s fully aware she’s never there. She’s been welcomed by everyone she’s visited though, which does make him happy. She mostly goes to Mercedes and Red Bull, but lately Mclaren has been looking quite interesting. 

“Are you going to stay in the Ferrari garage today? Or am I gonna have to send someone over to Red Bull or Mercedes to find you?" Fred looks at yn with a playful smile.

“I didn’t think you noticed.” She's quite shocked. He always seemed to switch off being a dad whenever they stepped into the garage, so it never even occurred to her that he even wanted her there.

“Who do you think sends someone after you at the end of the day?” He turns back around as they get closer, “I think you, Charles and Carlos would be great friends if you gave them a chance,” they turn and walk into the Ferrari hospitality. “Oh speaking of boys, have you found a boyfriend I need to approve of?” He quickly looks back to see her surprised face before he turns back to see where he’s going, even though he could probably navigate it blindfolded.

“Well first of all, you wouldn’t need to approve of him, this isn’t the middle age,” yn lets out a small laugh, “and second, all of my relationships have failed, you’re partly to blame for pulling me to almost every race, and then I guess I’m just not girlfriend material.” She follows her dad around, because even if she does get pulled to all races, she usually doesn't hang out here for more than 5 minutes before she’s off to find Max or George. 

“Chérie, anyone not willing to spend the short time you're home isn’t worth your time,” he stops in his track turns around and puts a hand on her shoulder, “and I’m not sure if I ever said it, but if you truly would prefer to stay home and only travel to a few, that is fine. I would understand.”

She gives him a reassuring smile, “I know. You wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of the house if I didn't truly want to be here.”

He gives one quick smile before continuing walking, and before she knows it, she’s left to herself because he’s needed for something important.

~~~

It doesn’t take long for Charles to spot yn, sitting by herself, because apparently everyone else is busy today. “Yn? what are you doing here? I thought you’d be off doing something with Max?” Charles looks around to see if Max is around and he just hadn't seen him, but it’s a lost cause, which he should have realized, Max wouldn’t be seen anywhere near anything related to Ferrari. Except for Charles of course.

“No he’s busy. Everyone suddenly got busy.” She looks back down at her phone and the messages between her and her friend, however it would be rude to text back while Charles is in front of her, so she turns it off and stuffs it in her pocket. “I don't really remember the last time everyone, well except for you I guess, was busy at the same time.” 

“Well, I’m meeting Lando and Oscar for lunch, do you want to join us?” Charles asks with a smile, flashing some cute dimples. Not that anything could ever happen between the two. As attractive as Charles may be, her dad was his boss, and nothing good was going to come out of that. 

“I think I’d like that,” she smiles back as she picks up her bag with her essentials, “it’s nothing fancy right? I didn’t really get dressed for something over the top.” She looks down at the ripped jeans and the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. Not exactly the cutest outfit.

~~~

“So you still live with your dad?” Oscar asks curiously, they all seemed fairly happy she was invited by Charles. And Oscar, who she hadn’t really spent any time with, has been asking a lot of questions. 

“I do. I may be 21, but living at home is just a little easier. And I like spending time with my dad, even if I run off to other teams at the first chance I get.” She answers as she takes another bite of her food. Lando has been awfully quiet and it didn’t go over yn’s head. She was fully aware of how glued his eyes were to his food. 

“Is it weird? That your dad is responsible for a Formula 1 team?” Oscar almost forgets to eat, because of all the questions he’s asking.

“It was in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it by now,” she takes a sip of water. “Is he always this quiet?” yn looks at the way Lando is poking his food “and is he always just poking his food?” She questions, making Lando's eyes move up for just a split second and then back down to his food.

“No. He’s usually pretty chatty, maybe he’s just nervous for tomorrow," Oscar says, finally eating some of his food. “He doesn’t usually get like this before a race though,” Oscar leans his head a little to the side as if thinking about it, before poking a finger in Lando’s side making him jump a little. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Oscar asks.

“Maybe he’s got a new crush,” Charles jokes, taking a bite of food just as Lando suddenly coughs and gulps down water.

“Are you okay?” Yn asks as Lando suddenly gets up from his chair avoiding any and all eye contact.

“No, I’m actually not feeling so great. I think I’ll have to cut this short if I want to be good to go by tomorrow.” He quickly gathers his things as everyone looks confused. “Bye!” And then he’s out of there.

“Well that was weird.” Oscar says as he goes back to eating

“Do you think it was me?” Yn looks at the rest of the men sitting around the table, a little sad that she may have ruined their lunch.

Charles smiles. “Yes,” he says, looking at yn, “but in a good way. I think I might be right, even if it was just a joke.” He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure there’s some truth to it.” He goes back to eating, and so does yn, deciding that maybe she’ll talk to Lando in private.

~~~

On his way back to the hotel, Lando struggles to figure out his emotions. Of course yn is absolutely gorgeous. But considering she’s Fred's daughter he wouldn’t dare to think of her as anything but a friend. He may not race for Ferrari, but he still has a lot of respect for the man. And Lando knows about his reputation of not being able to keep his relationships going for long. Hopefully he can just subtly ignore her. Because the feelings, and thoughts he had during that lunch were not friendly. And before he even considers anything, he needs to make sure his feelings for her are romantic, and not just him finding her pretty.

~~~

Lando spent close to 4 months avoiding yn to the best of his abilities, and when he wasn’t ready and she caught him off guard he made up some weird excuse about needing to look at data, test the car, try some new Mclaren merch for photoshoots. Yn usually knew they were lies, and wondered why Lando was so set on avoiding her. To be quite honest, it brought down her mood, and she spent more and more time in the Ferrari garage and hospitality. Her dad sensed something was wrong. She was rarely there and suddenly she never left? Something was going on and he was going to get the bottom of it. 

“I see you’re spending time here today,” Fred sat across from yn. She was eating lunch. Alone. That was how she spent most of her time lately. All alone. Lando had unknowingly made her really anti-social.

“I guess.” She poked a little at the salad she had bought. She didn’t really want it anymore. 

“Did the others have plans?” Fred asks, looking around.

“I’m not sure.”

“Is something bothering you?” Fred asked, concerned for her daughter who used to have a lot to talk about. A lot of people to talk to, and who never spent time at lunch alone in Ferrari.

“Nope.” Fred sighed. He wasn’t going to get any answers. If it was because she genuinely just didn’t feel like talking today or if there was something wrong, he wasn’t sure. But he was gonna ask Max, or maybe Lewis to talk to her. He didn’t want her to be lonely. He got up from his chair. He had to get this started immediately. 

Fred’s quest to find Lewis was surprisingly easy. He found the soon-to-be Ferrari driver hanging out with Charles and Carlos near their own garage. “Lewis! Can we talk?” Fred called out before he reached them. Lewis just nodded and started walking towards Fred.

“Is it about my contract?” Lewis asked cautiously. He knew he hadn’t been performing that great in the Mercedes this year and was afraid Fred was going to only make it a year so he could be finished with him.

“No. I need you to talk to yn. She's suddenly spending a lot of time with Ferrari, but alone. Which, as you may know, isn’t where, or how, she usually spends her time.'' Fred looks really concerned, and it’s like it’s transferred to Lewis immediately. He’s known yn ever since her dad started dragging her along. She would usually spend time with George when she went to Mercedes, but sometimes when George wasn’t there and she just wanted to be somewhere else, Lewis and yn would play some games. Usually chess. Lewis was definitely better than yn but she still loved it. They could often lose track of time and suddenly one from the Mercedes team would come and get Lewis to either do some media related stuff or because it was time to get ready for a race.

“Of course! Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her around Mercedes for quite some time now. I’ll see what I can do, if I can't figure it out, I'll have Max ask her. They’ve always had quite a special bond I don't understand” Lewis gives the man a reassuring smile and a clap on the shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll get her back to her talkative self very soon.”

“Thanks Lewis,” Fred looks relieved, but only for a second when his eyes widen. “Do you think Max did something to her? To make her feel this way?” He looks around as if he's scanning the surroundings for Max. And good thing he isn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a good outcome.

“I doubt it. He’s always been nice. Especially to her,” when he realizes how that may sound to the man in front of him and the way his eyes narrow, he quickly adds “as a friend. Not romantically. I’m pretty sure he’s actually in a relationship.” Fred seems to almost relax at those words and gives Lewis a quick pat on the shoulder

“Hurry up and get my daughter back. I miss her.” and with that he walks off. Hopefully not to find Max. And if so, Lewis sure is glad he isn’t Max right now.

~~~

When Lewis finally finds yn sitting just on the outside of the track he’s surprised she was allowed. But then again she probably just mentioned being Fred's daughter and she was allowed. “Hey there. Looking cozy. Mind if I join you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just sits down next to her on the grass.

“What do you want?” She asks. Not really feeling the company right now.

“You haven’t been spending much time with George lately. Have you been spending more time with Max?”

“No.” Straight to the point. But not really the point Lewis was looking for.

“Have you been spending time with Charles and Carlos? Since you’re spending so much time with Ferrari at the moment?”

“Would that be a crime?” She looks at Lewis, and he sees something different. Her eyes don't look as alive as they usually do. They’re missing the glow that makes yn herself.

“Yn, is something wrong? You know you can talk to me. Or Max,” he waits for a second, not sure if he should continue, but as she starts plucking at the grass without answering he decides she needs to know. “Your dad is worried about you.”

“Oh.” She answers, plucking a few more grass straws

“Did something happen?” Lewis asks, trying a different approach.

“I don't know. Maybe you should ask Lando.” Lewis is unsure what Lando has to do with this entire situation, but he promised Fred to get to the bottom of it, so he will.

“Did he do anything?” Lewis is ready to fight Lando. “If so, I’ll gladly talk to him”

“Well, maybe he’ll talk to you,” yn shrugs and gets up from the grass. “I have no idea what I did to him. He seemed happy enough about me being invited to join him, Oscar, and Charles for lunch a couple months ago, and then during lunch he was so quiet, barely looking up from his food and then he suddenly said he wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave.” Yn turns around and looks at Lewis, tears starting to form in her eyes. “He has ignored me ever since. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him he either runs away or makes up some dumb excuse to get away from me,” she wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, shakes her head and turns around again and starts walking away. “I shouldn't have put all of this on you. I'm probably just overthinking it anyway.”

"Wait!" Lewis is quick to get up from the grass and gets a hold of yn’s arm, ”I’m glad you told me. Let me talk to Lando. See if I can figure out why he’s avoiding you. Maybe there’s a reason,” yn smiles a small smile, but it’s better than the empty expressions she's had lately. “Nice to see you’re still capable of smiling.” Lewis returns it with a smile of his own and guides her towards the Mclaren hospitality. “Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”

“Thank you. Not just for this, but also for always putting up with my bullshit.” Yn looks straight ahead. She wasn’t exactly planning on saying any of that, but oh well. It won’t hurt anyone. 

Lewis just laughs and pushes her lightly. “You should be grateful. It's impossible to keep putting up with it.” If he wasn’t laughing while saying it, she would have been hurt, but she just laughs with him and follows him, to hopefully get some answers from Lando.

~~~

Lando was not expecting to see Lewis, so he wasn’t able to run off as quickly as he usually does, and when he spots yn behind Lewis, he tries to make up some excuse about having to talk to an engineer about a possible car problem but Lewis stops him. “Lando. That’s enough.” He puts a hand on Lando's shoulder before he gets a chance to run off. “Why do you keep running away from yn?”

Lando sighs, he can’t run away from it anymore. “I kinda would prefer for this conversation to happen between just me and yn.” He runs a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

Lewis looks back at yn, then at Lando, then back at yn, “are you fine with that?” He asks, while she nods and follows Lando into his drivers room

“So.” Lando starts, not really sure how to get the conversation going.

“Why have you been ignoring me for the past 4 months?” Yn asks, wanting to get this solved as soon as possible. “Did I say something that upset you so much during lunch that day?” Yn can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but she would like to get through this conversation without crying.

“No! Oh my god. Not at all!” He turns around because he’s not sure he can look at her while telling her this. “I think I might, sort of, have feelings for you.” The room is filled with silence. Lando is almost afraid she ran out of the room, If it wasn't for the fact he could hear her breathing. 

“So you decided the best action was to avoid me?” Yn asks, with a playful grin. If she had known this was all it was she would have had someone talk to him earlier. 

Her playful tone makes Lando turn around with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you or run off every time you tried talking to me. I was just afraid I would end up spilling a full love confession, and I’m not sure your dad would be too happy with that.”

“Well he doesn’t get a say in my love life.” Yn closes the distance between her and Lando. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Lando takes a step forward, making the distance between them smaller.

“So are you going to be doing anything about it?” Yn tilts her head slightly.

“When I have planned it,” Lando smiles and takes a step back as he feels a vibration in his pocket. “Damn, I actually do have to go now,” a text from his engineer asking him to come back for a meeting. Lando grins and walks towards the door, “but you're totally free to stay here until I’m back. And trust me, I’ll be spending the entire meeting planning the perfect way to ask you out.” He flashes a quick smile before he's out of the door and yn is left alone in the room. But this time being all alone is different. She doesn't feel all alone. She’s the happiest she’s been in four months.

~~~

“I have the perfect plan.” Lando and Oscar are doing a track walk just to have something to do and make sure the track is fresh in their memory for the practice the next day. 

“Yeah?” Oscar isn’t really sure it’s going to be as perfect as Lando thinks it is. “Are you totally sure about that?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, while taking in the surroundings of Monaco.

“I’m 100% sure.” Lando nods. He knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s in fact not going to ask directly. He’s made a fun little game, and got a few drivers in on it. “Just promise me to not ruin it when she comes to you.” Oscar sighs. He obviously isn’t going to spoil it.

“How are you going to ask her? If you aren’t doing it directly.”

“That’s a surprise.” And no matter how much Oscar pushes, Lando doesn't tell. Just smiles and shakes his head.

The next day when yn arrives at the paddock Alex greets her as soon as she’s arrived. “For you.” He says and hands her a letter.

“For me?” Her face is full of confusion as she opens the letter. 

“Dear yn, I’ve made a little scavenger hunt for you. I hope you’re going to have fun. At the end you’ll find a surprise. Here’s the first clue.”

That’s the end of the letter. “So what's the clue?” If anything she's even more confused now, it doesn’t even say who it's from. It could be from George. But she doubts it. He’s never done anything like this before.

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Alex rushes and pulls a small lego car from his backpack. more specifically a Mclaren lego car.

“So I'm guessing I have to go to Mclaren?” She questions and looks at Alex who just shrugs. So that’s where she heads to next. Who knows how long this is going to last. She does think it’s going to be fun though. She’s always loved clues.

As she gets closer to the Mclaren garage she finds Oscar standing looking around holding a letter in his hand. As he notices her, he walks towards her. “Here. From a mystery man.” He says, hands her the letter and walks off trying to look mysterious.

Yn laughs and opens the letter. This time, there’s no text. Just a card. “Happy fathers day.” She reads out loud. That’s all the card says. “I guess that means i’ll have to go to my dad?” She wonders out loud. Would this person involve her dad? Would her dad want to be involved? “Hm, probably just ferrari.” She says as she notices the card is mostly red.

She walks over to the Ferrari garage but can't find anything and decides it might be at the hospitality. As she enters the building she notices Carlos standing with a smile on his face and a whistle in his hands. “Here you go.” He hands her the whistle as she reaches him. 

“That's it? Not a letter? Anything to guide me more than-'' she looks down at the whistle now in her hand, “a whistle?” She looks back up at Carlos who looks around.

“Consider the first letter of the whistle.” He whispers and quickly walks off, whistling. 

“The first letter of whistle is w. So..” she thinks for a second. “Williams?” She laughs and quickly walks over to the Williams hospitality, but to her surprise finds no one, and decides it must be their garage then.

Here she finds Logan happily holding a small boat toy. “For you.” He says and hands it to her. Happy to be included. She smiles and wonders if this is the last one.

“Thank you, Logan.” She sends him a smile and walks to the dock to find a boat. Not really sure which type of boat, big or small. But she’s determined to find it. 

When she gets to the dock, she fears it’s going to take a long time, until she spots Charles casually sitting on a yacht. As she approaches she notices a full basket of red bulls sitting beside him. “I guess I’m going back to the track. To Red Bull. Their garage?” She is sure to get those 10k steps she’s supposed to get every day. 

“Yeah, if you want something to drink on your walk, I have plenty,” he pushes the basked towards yn and gestures for her to bring it, “in fact, let me join you on the way back, I was only sent here to give you the clue, and I don't drink Red Bull, so I can return it.” He smiles and gets up, taking the basket full of cans. “Are you having fun so far?” Charles starts walking back towards the track with yn following.

“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” she answers as she opens a can of the regular Red Bull, "I'm excited to see who set all of this up though” she looks ahead and takes a sip of the can.

“I can’t wait for you to see who arranged it,” he says. And that’s all he says. Yn tries to get more clues about who it is, but Charles’ mouth is shut. He’s not letting anything slip. And they arrive at Red Bull way earlier than yn was expecting so she doesn't get nearly enough time to interrogate Charles about who it is. 

“I see you’ve come to terms with the fact Red Bull is the best.” Max teases as Charles and yn are within hearing range of a normal voice. While holding a bouquet of flowers?

“Ha ha ha,” Charles smiles, as he hands Max the basket full of red bull cans, “I’m just keeping yn company, and decided to return these as I won’t be able to drink them.” Charles laughs and gets into a conversation with Max until yn clears her throat, reminding them she’s still there.

“I’m looking for a clue,” she says, begging that it's close to being over because she’s tired of walking from one side of the track to another over and over.

“Oh right,” Max hands her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She takes them in her hand and her eyebrows furrow.

“What kind of clue is this?” She looks at Max whose eyes go wide.

“I forgot this.” He pulls a letter out from his pocket and hands it to her.

“Another letter. Is this the last one? I don't know how much more walking I can do.” She looks so defeated but reads the note.

“If you received this letter, that means you figured out all the clues. I know you were just there, but you can find me on Charles’ yacht. Where the big surprise is waiting.”

She looks up as she finishes reading. “He’s got to be kidding. I swear to fucking god, if this is George and he just made me walk from that yacht, back to the track and then back to that stupid yacht i’m going to go insane.” You look back at the letter. 

“My yacht isn’t stupid.” Charles pouts as Max hits him on the arm. “Ow?”

Yn sighs, “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the flowers I suppose.” 

“Oh they were not from me. They were from him. Just hurry up,” Max looks down at his phone, “practice starts kinda soon, and he can’t be late.” Yn starts walking back towards the yacht. She can't wait to kill the man that made her walk this much.

Lando however has been setting everything up ever since yn and Charles left. Strawberries covered in chocolate, and since he doesn't like chocolate, strawberries without chocolate, candles on a small table on the sun deck. As yn gets closer, Lando walks down to greet her. “I swear to fucking god George if this is yo-” her sentence gets cut short as soon as she sees Lando. “You set all of this up?”

“Yeah. You didn’t seem to like it that much?” Lando rubs the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best planner of a scavenger hunt.

“I kinda wasn’t the biggest fan of walking all the way out here, back to the track and then back here again.” She crosses her arms, but seeing the concerned look on Lando’s face she relaxes her arms and walks onto the yacht with a huge smile. “It was still kinda fun.” 

They spend a little while on the boat, sitting with their feet almost touching the ocean. Lando is not really sure if he should put an arm around her or not. He decides not to move too quickly and they just sit next to each other. “Oh I almost forgot,” she turns and looks at Lando. “I was supposed to tell you to hurry up, practice starts soon and you can’t be late,” she looks down at the strawberries, “but you distracted me.”

“Oh shit!” He gets up quickly and puts his shoes on, “meet me at the track! I would love to spend some time with you between practice 1 and 2!” He hurries up and practically runs all the way to the track.

~~~

For the next couple of weeks Lando spends a lot of time wondering how quickly to move forward. They spend a lot of time sitting near water, almost like the first time, except they don't have access to Charles' yacht every day. Every time Lando wonders if he should put an arm around her, but he never does. Until one day, when they’ve been sitting at the end of the gangway on the dock, their feet so close to the water, if they stretched them out their toes would be dipped in the water, and Lando’s arm comes closer and closer to making its way around yn. “Just do it already,” she says and leans on him, putting her head on his shoulder, “I've been waiting for the last many weeks for you to do it.” Lando can’t help but let out a small laugh and put his arm around her. 

“I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it.” He looks down at her quickly before looking back at the water. 

“I've been waiting for you to make some sort of move, so I knew if it would be appropriate to do this.” She says, as she sits back up straight and puts her hands on Lando’s cheeks and pulls his face closer. He puts his hands on her waist and pulls her closer while making sure none of them fall into the water. Her lips meet his softly, a tentative brush that sends a wave of electricity through her body. The kiss deepened, growing in confidence, and everything else faded away. All that existed was the two of them.

When they finally break apart, Lando puts his forehead against hers, a smile stuck on his face. He would never be able to forget this moment, and she wouldn’t either. “I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that time Charles invited you to lunch.” Lando shares, not aware that yn has shared the same feeling since he shared that he had feelings for her.

“I was sure you’d do something about it sooner.” Yn lets out a small laugh and leans against Lando’s shoulder as he puts his arm around her.

“I was too afraid you didn't want to,” he says and lets out a sigh. “And I guess I just never thought to just ask.” 

“Well, you should have.” She smiles, before looking up at him, and he can’t help but smile back. They sit like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.

~~~

A couple weeks later, when they’re lying on the couch in Lando’s apartment, watching a movie, yn can’t help but smile, thinking about this moment, and how she never thought this would be a reality in her life. “Can you believe it?” She says in a soft whisper, her voice barely even audible.

“Believe what?” Lando asks, while his other hand mindlessly runs through the soft strands of her hair.

“This. Us. I never thought I’d be in such a happy relationship while traveling so much.” She says, softly tracing small circles on the back of his hand, that’s draped across her waist.

“Well I’m glad you're happy,” He says, placing a kiss on the top of her head, earning a soft hum from the woman. “You know, you could bring some stuff here. Just enough for a drawer if you don’t want to get too serious.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.

She can’t help but smile, because she had been thinking of asking. “That would be nice, especially considering how much time I spend here.” She brings his hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss there, before going back to the movie.

~~~

It didn't take long for her to basically move in. It wasn’t official, but it might as well have been. She spent more time there than she did at her own home. But Lando didn’t mind. In fact, he loved having her there. They even started spending time together publicly, whether that was around Monaco when it wasn’t a race week, or if it was in the paddock. The fans had noticed how close they had gotten, and speculation quickly began. Were they a couple? Just friends? No one knew. Did Fred? No. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to ask. But he didn’t mind, as long as yn was happy. And she was, for the first couple of months. And then it seemed like Lando had other priorities. Of course she knew racing was important to him, and she didn’t expect to suddenly be on the absolute top of his priority list, that would always be F1 and she knew that. However, that didn’t stop the feeling of neglect starting to spread through her. She knew he had a packed schedule, but she would often find herself wishing he had more time for her, yet it just seemed he got less and less time for her.

As the relationship between them progresses, small arguments make it to the surface. Usually sparked by the fact yn feels unimportant, or that Lando misses a date or an anniversary. It’s never his intention, and he always makes it clear that he loves her, but as it continues to get worse and worse, she begins to question it. She even stops believing him 100%.

It was 2 am. Lando had just returned back to the hotel after the race in Singapore. He silently opened the door to the room he was sharing with yn, expecting her to already be sound asleep on the bed, but to his surprise she was sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.

“Can we talk?” She asks, her voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability.

“Of course.” Lando quickly closes the door and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Look, I know racing is extremely important to you, that it’s everything to you, but,” she pauses for a moment, not really sure how he’s going to take this. “What about us?” She asks, her voice shaking slightly.

“I know it’s been tough, and I’ve not been the best, but I’m under a lot of pressure right now,” Lando looks up at her and he can see the way his words hurt, and he can’t help the defensive tone that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Didn’t have a choice? You’ve always had a choice! You chose to sign up for all those PR events. All the additional promotional videos. Do you know how it feels to always be the last thing on your mind?” Her voice raises a little as the frustration takes over, and she searches Lando’s eyes for a reaction, just some sort of reaction.

“I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lando sighs and looks her in the eye, he genuinely never wanted her to feel like she was his last priority. “But this is my career, it’s what I’ve worked towards my entire life.” 

“And where do I fit into that? When you talk about your future, you’re talking about your next race, the next podium, the next win. I can’t continue to just sit back and wait for you to finally have time for me. I can’t continue to just be a spectator in your life, Lando.” The hurt is visible on her face, and she turns away momentarily to look out the window. The rain is subtly falling outside, and small drops of water roll down the window.

“I thought you understood when we got together.” He says, trying to defend himself. “This is my life, my dream. I never wanted you to feel like you're not important.” His voice softens, but his tone is still defensive as he tries to avoid addressing the core issue.

“I did understand. And I’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s been months of you forgetting a date, or something else. And I’m not asking you to quit racing, I would never do that. All I’m asking is that I become a priority too. Because right now it feels like you’ve made a choice. And it’s not me.” Tears start to swell up in yn's eyes, and Lando is at a loss for words. He never wanted it to get to this point, but he doesn’t know what to say. He looks away, and that’s the last straw for yn. She swings her legs off the bed and grabs her suitcase that she packed as soon as she returned from the race, since they were planning to leave early in the morning anyway. “I’ll give you some time to think about all of this. But I won’t be waiting forever. Figure out if this is something you want. Because I can’t keep doing this.” And with those words she leaves the hotel room, and into the elevator.

She walks out into the rain, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. She stops and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want it to end between her and Lando, but she also can’t continue to just be a bystander in her own relationship. As she grabs her suitcase and is about to begin walking she hears Landos voice. “Wait!” 

She turns around and sees him walking in long strides toward her, the rain already drenching his hair. “I don't want to lose you. I’ll never leave you alone again,” he says as he reaches her. “I remember how it felt when we were sitting by the water on our first unofficial date. Every time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He places a hand on her cheek and gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbones. “Please don’t leave. We’ll make it work. I’ll make time for you. You’ll be my first priority, I promise.”

She looks up at him with an aching heart at the raw emotion in his voice. For a moment she wants to believe him, to just forget all the missed moments, but the pain is still too much. 

“You say that now, but what happens when life gets busy again?” She asks in a whisper, her voice shaking as she speaks. “What happens when I become the last thing on your mind again because something else takes priority?”

Lando’s hand trembles slightly against her cheek, but he doesnt pull away, and neither does she. The rain falls a little harder, and their breaths are visible in the cool air of the night.

“I won't let that happen.” His voice is filled with an urgency, a need, that she’s never heard before. “I know i’ve failed you, but this time-”

“”This time,” she interrupts him and takes a step back, resulting in his hand slipping from her cheek. “How do I know this time is any different?” She looks at him with tearfilled eyes, waiting for an answer she might not want. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Lando takes a step closer and his eyes are filled with so much love and hope.

“Because this time, I know what it’s like to lose you,” his voice is trembling and he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “And I can’t. I can't lose you.”

[robinsfilm]

TOUNGE TIED

PAIRING: jason todd ✗ reader ;

SYNOPSIS: hidden away in a library, you bask in seeing that pink hue on jason's cheeks ;

ANON ASKED: " Reader teasing Jason over his blushing. You can decide whether they're in an established or pre-established relationship. " ;

WORD COUNT: 0.9k ;

NOTES: took a while to get this request done, not because the writing took some time, it was just because this is my first ever time getting actual requests, so i am all over the place with this. in this work reader and jason aren't in a relationship yet. thank you anon for the request <3 cross posted on my AO3.

♯ MASTERLIST ; NAVIGATION.

A SUBTLE TINGLING OF THE BELL SHIMMERED IN THE AIR. The old smell of book pages spreads through the small library. Its rusty brick outside, snuggled between two towering buildings, had caught Jason's eye during patrol a few days ago.

He contemplated asking you if you'd like to visit the little, small haven he had found. Every time the thought crossed his mind, a warm feeling spread through his body; his cheeks felt hot and his hands shaky.

Weird, but now that doesn't matter.

What matters is that somehow you both were in the doorway of the said library.

Your eyes darted around the room laid in front of you, curiosity obvious in your gaze. The library had truly had a homey, cozy feeling to it. Your hand grazed Jason's as you pointed out a decoration on the wall next to the two of you, though Jason's mind was preoccupied by the small touch of your hand on his.

Was it silly, he thought, that even a single graze had him tripping over his words?

The same warmth spreads through him now as it did then when he thought of ways to bring you here; what do I say to them? Should I label this as a date? Or is that too soon?

He remembers mentioning the small library when you piped up and suggested both of you visited the place.

“C’mon, Jaybeans! It’ll be fun. You and me.” You and me.

You took the words out of his mouth, literally. Answer, goddamn it!

“Yes!” he says, a bit too loud. You tilt your head, a smirk appearing on your face.

Oh, he wanted to wipe that smug grin off your face. With a kiss, preferably. You'd have a field day teasing him for that as well. He can’t really seem to mind; a kiss from you seems worth it.

He's forced to snap out of his daydream when he hears your melodic voice ring out in his ears.

“Earth to Jason,” you quip, not before raising a brow, “what's got you all quiet? You seem nervous.”

Goddamn you and how well you know him and his tells.

“Nothing,” he stammers as he answers, “now, let's go in.”

The warmth of the library makes both of you feel the unforgiving cold of the Gotham weather. The freezing hands hidden in pockets slowly peeking out, faces hiding under scarves poking out.

More accurately, his face pokes out from the scarf wrapped around him. Your scarf, he should add on that.

He almost stopped dead in his tracks when you turned to him and wrapped the fluffy, crocheted by hand scarf around him.

You scolded him about dressing appropriately for the weather. He should have been listening; god knows he hangs onto every word you say, but at that moment every sound was lost on him.

The saccharine-intoxicating smell of the fabric engulfed him wholly.

You eyed him a moment then, eyes squinting as if taking every detail of him, before you muttered just for him to hear.

“It looks good on you.”

Jason feels his cheeks grow hot—too hot, his palms grow sweaty. God, when did it get so hot?

The last thing he remembers seeing is your face breaking into a proud smile.

He hopes you won't ask for the scarf back, he thinks as he gathers both of your coats to set on the rack.

The book shelves fill the entire library so much that there's barely any space for the two of you. You don't seem to mind, he notes, as you drag him down the shelves, bodies close.

He runs his hand through his hair nervously, black and white steaks getting caught between his fingers. He has styled it. Did you notice, he thinks? Does he want you to notice?

Yes, he concludes, he does.

“Hm,” you hum, “I’ve been planning on reading Emma since you mentioned it.” You remembered that? He thinks as you look through the books to find your desired one.

‘If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.’

He remembers that single quote; it rings over in his mind repeatedly.

Get it together, Jason, he scolds himself.

“It has ‘the I-am-going-to-scoop-my-heart-out-with-a-spoon level romance of Pride & Prejudice’” he muses.

“It better not be like Mansfield Park,” you puff. “Jane, I'm not mad; I’m just disappointed.”

His laugh slipped out, low and warm. You take in the sight in front of you: his laugh; his smile, his eyes smiling alongside with it; the scrunching of his nose.

It’s truly a heavenly sight.

Oh, only if you could tell him.

“You should laugh more,” you simply say. It’ll do for now; it’ll do until he gives you the okay, the okay to tell him all of it.

You'll bask in his blushes and stutters as he tries to gather his thoughts.

“What?”

“You should laugh more,” you contemplate for a second, “and blush more.”

“You—” he huffs, “just get the book.” He tries to turn his head away from you, though the red on the tip of his ears is telling you all you need to know.

You'll wait; he'll wait as well.

Because all of this is worth the wait.

© ROBINSFILM ﹕ I do not give consent for my writing to be posted or used on any other platforms without my permission and proper credit.

[yurunivo]

Hello! I really love you self aware idea! Can you please make another part? This time Can you focuse more on Mavuika and the Creator!Reader (Gender Neutral),please? (Also om how the other archons and Neuvillete would be trying to search for the reader and maybe using other organizations to help the search) if not please feel free to ignore this. Have a wonderful day!

This is my first time getting a request! Hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: hanging out with Mavuika! (And the other nations' planning to reach you) part 1

TW: Mavuika and reader's relationship is implied romantic but can be read as platonic, OOC, yandere, SAGAU imposter au, bad writing, bad grammar, english is not my first language, not beta read

Characters: Mavuika x gn!creator!reader (again can be seen as romantic or platonic), yandere Archons + Neuvillette x reader

Cleaning at bars was a tedious job. It was easy, sure, but it got boring at times. Customers always made the day fun with their gossip, so you leaned into that. It could've been something simple, like how their boyfriend cheated on them, but it was still more entertaining than mopping the floor.

However, there was always one customer every night that you were looking forward to meeting.

Always clad in a mysterious cloak that made them look like a runaway, blazing bright eyes and red hair.

It was Mavuika.

She came a bit later than usual. You decided not to worry, Archon duties are a lot after all. Yet, she came anyway, dressed the same as before. The cloak was a bit messily put on, so her hair was still visible. You sighed as you left the place you were cleaning and went up in front of her.

"You didn't have to come y'know," you fixed her cloak to hide her hair, yet she only smiled at you.

"I insist," she only replied back. You rubbed your temples at the stubborn woman. Seriously, shouldn't she be busy with work or something?

She seemed to be eager to tell you something, considering how she was holding your hand. You raised an eyebrow at her as you gestured her to speak.

"Well, want to combat practice with me later, (fake name)?" Oh no. You didn't know how to fight! Sure, you did fight against the abyss, but you barely managed to survive!

But you only nodded. Declining now would only make her suspicious, even though the fact that you were being chased around without fighting back was suspicious enough. But, you'll find out a reason later, for now, all you had to do was agree.

"Sure, but only at my day off. Maybe the day after tomorrow?" You were trying to find a lie to tell her then, but for now, you hid your feelings with a smile. She nodded, looking content with your answer.

"The day after tomorrow it is."

Your hands were uncomfortably sweaty.

The day after tomorrow being right now, you had to tell Mavuika as quick as you could to not gain suspicion. Telling her you got isekai'd from another world was obviously not an option, but you had already prepared something in your head. It was similar to the isekai idea, but it's much more believable. The execution was the only problem.

You were at the outskirts of the Scions of Canopy, where Kinich lived. She came 5 minutes later and greeted you with much courtesy.

"Hope I didn't make you wait for long (fake name)," she told with a bit embarrassment. You shrugged her off.

"It's fine Mavuika, and you can just call me (name)," you replied back. You mustered up the courage to tell her your reason not to fight. But before that, you had to ask her just this one thing.

"How did you know that I was the creator? I don't think there was any part of me that stood out," you were interested to know, after all you thought that you hid yourself very well.

She all but smiled as she pointed out the grass behind you.

"The creator is connected to Teyvat, so everything would bloom in their wake. Since you were in the nation of Pyro, where I'll know everything that's going on, it was quite easy to find out." You looked behind to see beautiful flowers right behind you. You were shocked to see this many flowers in one trail. Wait, then why did the other Archons not realize that you were the creator? Eh that doesn't really matter, what matters was that you were here with Mavuika, safe and sound. But, you took this revelation to gift her something.

You took a flower from the trail. Mavuika was interested to see what you were doing, but you hid it from her. Using the flowers and leaves, you created a flower crown for her and put it a top her head. You smiled, she did too.

"Thank you (name)," she laughed softly. But now you had to explain the fighting part. You sighed as you contemplated.

"Err, Mavuika, I actually don't know how to fight.." You mumbled and cursed your self for it. She looked surprised.

"Why not?" She asked again. You felt embarrassed for having to say the reason. You took a deep breath and prepares to say why.

"I'm.. Not the creator. Like the original one. I'm a reincarnation of them, I have no idea how to fight not do I know anything about the past," you breathed out, cringing at what you just said. However all she did was look at you with understanding, after all, she knows the pain of reincarnation.

"It's fine! But do you know anything about the previous creator then?" She asked curiously, to which you shook your head. She hummed. She got an idea to improvise, it seems like.

"How about I teach you then?" Huh?! This wasn't going as planned! You didn't want to fight at all.

"T-that's not needed, I'll j-just waste your time," you tried convincing her, but she didn't budge. Eventually though, you reluctantly agreed. She smiled and thanked you for allowing her to help.

"Just try to imagine yourself using Pyro abilities, you'll get the hang of it later." You were really trying. The amount of stress that you had to not burn yourself to death was enough to actually kill you. Still, you trusted Mavuika and her abilities, so you tried anyway. You tried and tried and tried, but nothing really came. You were visibly disappointed, but Mavuika tried to encourage you.

"How about this, you imagine something you don't like, and try to use your emotions to drag your Pyro ability out," she suggested. You seemed to find this useful, so you tried it.

Closing your eyes, you thought of something terrible happening, and instead of seeing the imposter hunt that you very despised, you instead saw Mavuika.

You were being hunted down, sure, but what was most important was that she was getting punished by the Archons for not giving up the imposter. Her face was battered and bruised, and she was slowly slipping into unconsciousness. You watched in horror, and tears started to well up in your eyes. This couldn't be! Unfortunately, you were crying in real life too, and Mavuika realized immediately.

"Okay, uhh, you don't need to think about it now," she tried comforting you, bringing you in an embrace to calm you down. Once you came back to reality, your eyes were puffy, and your face was red.

"... Sorry, can we do this another time?" You sniffled, still holding her. She was warm, and you found your self drifting to sleep. She sighed as she picked you up.

"Of course, just don't overdo anything, kay?" She smiled warmly, brushing the tears from your eyes. She wrapped you in a cloak, getting ready to start camp.

Neuvillette contorted his face in disgust. The waters tasted disgustingly sweet. The creator's happiness with another person, likely an Archon. But the waters then tasted bitter, from the creator's sadness.

If only he could just drag you out of that place and keep you for himself, but no. He'll need the help of the other nations to do so, so he sucked it up and left the Palais Mermonia. He visited Furina, just checking in on her before leaving. He'd leave some of the work for Clorinde to do, he trusted her enough to do that anyway.

Reaching the imposter's throne room, there was a long sitting area where the rulers of the nations were there. Only the Cryo, Pyro and Anemo Archons weren't there, but the acting grandmaster came for Anemo, and the director of the Fatui Harbingers came for Cryo. The Geo Archon returned to his status as the God of Contracts, and the Electro and Dendro archon were sitting in their own seats. The imposter was on the creator's throne. They were dead, blood seeping out of their head. Their expression was one of shock, as he could vividly remember the day the Geo Archon killed the imposter.

A seat was vacant. He clenched his teeth at the mere thought of the Pyro Archon. He'd get you back from her, no matter what it took.

"We all know that the creator is in the nation of war, Natlan. However, since the neither of us know its weaknesses besides the Pyro Archon being a human, we need to create a plan to ambush the nation," Jean spoke up. Everyone in the room nodded along with her, too obsessed to notice their wrong doings. However, there was one who objected to this clause.

Nahida raised her hand to interrupt Jean, turning all eyes on her.

"You all chased down the creator like a rabid dog, and now you're trying to kidnap them to do a job that they don't want? What kind of leaders are you? The creator was in Natlan for a few months by now, and since they're not leaving, they are probably enjoying a better life there than your own selfish desires," she objected.

Neuvillette all but admired the young Archon. Despite being small and weaker than the others, she still had the bravery to stand against everyone. However, this was one thing that he didn't agree with. He just stayed quiet though, waiting for someone to object the small Archon.

Raiden did. The God of Eternity looked at Nahida with disdain, preparing to answer the deity.

"And how are you so sure that the creator is having a better life in Natlan Buer? For all we could know, they could actually be running around the vast nation. And, you are one of the younger Archons after all, what use does your words have?" She asked coldly. When she was about to respond back, she got interrupted.

"It is settled, we shall find the creator in Natlan, no questions," the God of Contracts added in. Nahida couldn't speak now. After all, what power does she have to a much more experienced God?

Neuvillete glared at the Archons.

"Whoever shall get the creator first will be the one to solely have the creator in their nation," Neuvillete furrowed his brows at the Archons. They did the same, but still agreed to the conditions, not really thinking of what you want.

Now, all the leaders were going back to their nation, telling their line of military to get prepared. They had to have you all for yourself, and they will do anything for it.

Done! Hope you enjoy!

[iplaywithstring]

Post about sock yarn got me thinking about yarn physics (doesn't everyone get excited over yarn science?)

Like most spinners, when I started to spin, I made some pretty serviceable rope - so much twist in spots that it coiled up like a corkscrew before being wound on the bottom. That is what I would consider too much twist - once it's coiled like that, it's hard to manage. Unless of course, that's what you're going for - the joy of spinning is you can get the yarn you want!

But in general, high twist vs. low twist is a preference, and a whole spectrum of good yarns exists between "so much twist it's rough and unpleasant" and "so little twist it falls apart".

I figured some visuals about the difference between high twist and low twist might be useful.

I like high twist yarn, and I spin, so I have examples. This is my favourite type of yarn to spin and to work with.

I also spin low- twist yarns, but not as often. Usually when at a retreat or wanting a quicker project - lower twist happens faster (except when you spin low twist lace weight, that still takes forever....)

I was able to find three chain plied yarns to compare - since the post that got me thinking about this was talking about chain plied yarn, these were fitting. Two of them are about the same wight (worstedish?). Both are nice and squishy and feel good, but the look is very different.

Squishy high twist

Squishy low twist.

One thing to note is that while the angle of the plies is very different, if you zoom in, the actual fibers that make each ply are basically parallel within the plied yarn - that means the yarns are balanced. The twist in the singles is matched by the twist in the ply.

And some high twist sock yarn (since that was the original topic)

(it looks like two ply, I blame the flash, I even got it back out to double check, it is chain plied)

And some low twist two ply to compare

This was yarn for a lace sweater, it's merino and silk and I spun 250g of it. Lace is one place where I prefer lower twist (it makes for a softer overall look, but higher twist makes stitch definition pop!)

Again, the individual fibers are parallel, the yarn is balanced. But what if it wasn't?

One ply high twist, one low twist (full disclosure - this wasn't intentional, I changed the whorl between bobbins and didn't realize it until I started plying....oops).

you can see with this yarn, the tighter spun ply is wrapping around the lighter spun ply, giving it a wrapped look. This yarn isn't balanced - if I hang it, there's a twist in the skein (the individual fibers in the tighter ply are angled, not parallel in the yarn).

As I said at the beginning - the beauty of spinning is making the yarn you like best. Playing around with how must twist is a fun way to understand what you like to spin and to work with.

[yoshiyolotli]

To the GO Fandom ...

So ... I am not sure who will see this but I needed to write something.

I fell into the GO Fandom earlier this year after my adult son told me about his writing fanfic on AO3 (for a completely different fandom), and clicking on the link for @phoen1xr0se while reading DFAFM. Since then I have become moots with only a small handful of other fans and followed some of my favourite writers. I am even editing a fanfic! I can't forget about @deichselschwein and DYWACTG! Such a fun story that had me checking daily for updates. This story taught me about weekly updates and having to be patient.

Then @klikandtuna wrote (at some point) FTL and I learned to cry over a story and care deeply about fictional characters on a page.

I had all summer to interact because I am teacher and was on summer holidays. I have been back at work since the end of August and am missing this fandom and my daily interactions greatly. The few I do interact with have become people I look forward to reading about, seeing others leave them "Asks", and maybe even have a short text chat. I miss the way this fandom supports each other, but also allows the messiness of life.

I want it back! It's funny, being someone born in the 70s I never figured I would find a community online ... but I have - even if I am very much on the fringes of it.

This story became important to me after my sister introduced it to me. THEN I saw S1 ... well, we all know what happens to a GO fan after that! 🎣

Anywho ... this long ramble is to say, as much as I hang out on the fringes (I don't write fanfic) of this fandom, I am grateful for it. This spring and summer was the first time in close to a decade I read just for fun ... your stories were the reason why!

I will keep checking in as school finds a rhythm ... we shall see as I teach 12 year olds Maths and Science ... but I miss you all. Keep looking after each other!

[kingofbodyrolls]

For this rainbow, I finally picked up my professional camera again. The last images stored there tells me that the last time I used it was the 1st of December 2023. Wild. But I picked it up thanks to this pretty rainbow, which was actually a double rainbow. So pretty. This image is made up of three into a panorama shot, and Lightroom was a bit funky with putting them together, so please don't mind the badly processed house in the middle; no, we're not looking at that 😂

For people who want a wall of text status update, it's under the cut.

How are you all doing? I'm hanging in there. Not active much, but I still haven't gotten myself into deleting my tumblr app. So I still see and get all your notifs, even if I don't reply right away! I'm still taking time off, trying to figure out what I want to do with the blog for the future... I have not written a fanfic in some time now, but I have two finished stories that are ready to be published, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things these days... I've had dark days, written a lot of sad and dark poems (that will go on my sub blog some time in the future), and I've begun to write an original story. It's really fun; about magic, witches and mages; about good and evil and all the gray in between. It will probably bore you, but it's fun to write, even though I don't think anyone would read it except for a few friends (even though this thing might be the longest thing I'll write, turning into either two or three books lol).

Serotonin boost I get happy when I get notifs with comments and/or reblogs of my stories; it really touches my heart. To be honest, this is why I left/taking time off. I've always felt that interaction was low, and my stupid brain will not let me stop comparing myself to others, so it slowly killed my drive for writing and posting. If no one interacts, what's the point of posting? If no one interacts, what's the point of writing? But I love writing, and it's one of my creative outlets, so I couldn't let that go completely, hence I started writing original stories instead; no ones gonna read them anyway, but I can still play with characters, world building and storytelling. Those are the things I loved about fanfics---and I still do, don't get me wrong. But I feel so discouraged being on here. But I'm happy to know that a few people still care.

The Downfall This also made it quite hard for me to read; because I felt so unmotivated... I haven't read much this month at all. I tried to read a fanfic this Monday, didn't finish it and haven't picked it up since. Honestly, I've just been watching documentaries because I'm in a (tumblr) slump. I feel drained though; I feel like I've given so much, and I love it. I love making people happy, leaving lovely reviews, and it's as much for myself as it is for making another person happy---but to be honest, it has drained me. I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, but I feel imbalanced. Like I'm not being filled with much love, if that makes sense? I don't really feel appreciated, but don't get me wrong, I don't feel hated (yeah, I'm so good at being black and white), sorry---I know I sound very pessimistic. But you guess have always been so kind to me, and I love you a lot, and I have a few super lovely mutuals and friends that are lovely internet friends that I adore, so I wanted to be real with all of you. You can hate me for it if you want to. Go ahead.

I don't think I'm going to make a recommend list this month. I haven't really read anything, so it'll be really small. And I don't like the pressure of it anymore... which is why for a long time I've thought about not doing them anymore. Maybe some day I will again in the future. But I'd still love to make rec list on the member's birthdays! And I think this will help me, take some pressure off myself (that I've created myself), so I'll still read and rec, it will just be slower---whenever I feel like it, and not because I have to read to make a monthly rec list. This isn't my job, I'm not getting paid doing all of this, and the amount of time I've been spending on both reading and writing is more than 37+ hours a week, sooo. I have to slow down.

A part of me thinks that I flew too fast, too high and too close to the sun, lol. I'm still gonna be here, you can still send in asks for rec list or whatever you want, all is welcome (except hate, because then I'll simply just delete my blog, my mental health can't take that).

To post, or not to post? Should I post the two stories that I have? Both of them are for the series Friendcation.

And for the unfinished mermaid stories I still have left, I hope I'll finish them in the future; when, I don't know. Maybe one day I'll feel love for them again, to finish them. I have them all planned out, but like I mentioned before, with low interaction, I'm really not motivated to finish them, even though part of me really want to for the like five people that are so sweet and invested, and always comments and reblogs (you guys know who you are, and I love you so fucking much 🥰).

To all the stories I'll probably never write...

I still have some other unfinished but planned stories, and I'm gonna list them here, just for the hell of it. Don't know if people would have found them interesting anyway, but here goes:

Words on a Page (a Namjoon x reader, idol!au where reader is a fanfiction writer and interviewer for a magazine and has to interview BTS). Author's comment: probably never gonna write it. It has been done before, and it was just a very very silly dream I had.

Songs of The Heart (a Jimin x reader, musician!au where Jimin is a single father and reader moves into the house next to his, hear his lonely songs etc, they meet, talk, very angsty, sad and nostalgic and 'Who' coded). Author's comment: this idea came to me after listening to 'who' and then thinking about Jimin being my next door neighbor, yeah, that's it. Don't know if this will ever get written.

IT Support (a Jimin x reader, office!au where Jimin is your nerdy coworker, but a freak in the sheets, lol). Author's comment: this has honestly been on my list for years, but I never written anything for it, and I probably never will, even though I've made the banner and all.

I do have a few more, but I've already scraped those, and then there's the four mermaid stories to add to the list. I'm probably mostly excited about the mermaid stories, and those would be my priority if I ever get back into writing fanfiction again.

I swear, I'm almost finished... Okay, this whole thing has gotten incredibly long. Sorry. Before I end this post, I just want to say how happy and grateful I am to each and everyone of you. I've met some incredible nice people on here, some really caring ones. I'll never forget that. And I'll never forget each wonderful and lovely comment, some people have really helped me, motivated me when I felt low, and when I wanted to stop writing a few months back. Thank you. I kept going, and I wish I could keep going for you, making something special, for the special people I met here. I actually really wanted to do requests for you guys in hopes that it would motivate me into writing, but I just don't know. I still want to give so much back to the people who have hyped me up, so I'm going to tag a few of you lovely people--- if you have a request for a story, you're welcome to message me or send me an ask. I don't know if or when I'll write it, but in case I get a bit of motivation, I have some things I could write from, so if you want to, you can send me a request (just keep in mind the story will probably be a one-shot from 10-20k max or maybe shorter, lol, you never know with me). You don't have to send me a request, I simply want to give back to some lovely people. I wish I could hug you.

@letjungcoook7 @honeybloomyyyy @babystarcandyjk97 @minpdrecs @bobathi @allie-is-a-panda @back2bluesidex @gimeow @antisocial-mochi267

These are but just a few of the people that have supported me on there, either by commenting, reblogging, ask, messaging--you name it. I could list many others, and one day I might make a post celebrating all mt lovely mutuals, that means a lot to me. Thank you for interacting; you've (as long with others) helped me when times were tough. Thank you.

I had actually planned to open a "recommend a fic" section/box, but I'm not sure about that. I still have so many fics on my to read list, and right now I don't want to pile more onto it. Might do it in the future, when I've finally made it through my own lists.

Okay, I have to end this post for real now.

I'm still on tumblr, I still have my app. I deleted my discord app on my phone, but I'm still part of the servers I was before, I'm just not active. It's better for me that way right now, because it all got to be too much. I was just reminded of how much of a failure I feel like (no, we're not getting into that not, store it away). But you can always contact me here. I'm lurking sometimes. I look forward to reading in a more leisurely pace and hopefully not feeling pressured to make the rec lists as I did before (even though just for the completionist in me I want to finish them for just this year, lol).

Okay. If you read this far---thank you, I adore you, I love you, you're nice, keep going 💜

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

Hidden embers

Chapter 6

Chapter summary: They say drunken words are sober thoughts, and Joel is about to hear all about yours.

A/N: Hello hello, HE wednesday is back!!! Im so excited about this chapter, it might be the longest one so far. I wanted to wait until i had chapter 7 completed before i posted this but I can’t wait any longer for y’all to read this, i appreciate the comments and reposts you guys have been giving me SO MUCH, it fills my heart 🤍 anyways enough yapping, enjoy!!

Warnings: No outbreak AU, no use of y/n, no sarah, Age gap, DBF!Joel, Slow burn, a tiny bit of angst, Alcohol consumption.

Series masterlist

You're halfway down the cereal aisle, arms full of groceries because, as usual, you convinced yourself you didn’t need a basket. Just a few things, you thought—when have you ever had that kind of self-control?

You shift the items in your grasp, trying to keep them from toppling over, when you hear a voice behind you

“Oh, bless your heart, need some help with that?”

You turn to see a blonde girl about your age, her smile warm and her Southern drawl as sweet as honey. She’s holding a basket in one hand and offering you the other

You chuckle, a little relieved. “Please. I thought I could manage, but I clearly overestimated myself.”

“Here, take mine,” she says, handing you her basket. “I’ll grab another.”

Before you can thank her, she’s already grabbed a new basket from nearby, her movements quick and effortless.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” you say, feeling the weight lift from your arms.

“No trouble at all,” she replies with a bright smile. “I’m Charlotte, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m—”

“—I know who you are,” she cuts in, her smile widening. “Our dads are friends. Your’s always braggin’ ‘bout you.”

You chuckle at that. “Yeah I think he’s mentioned yours too, Bill and Frank, right?”

“That’s them,” she grins. “We live just a few blocks down from your place.” As you both walk down the aisle together, she glances over at you with a curious look. “You just moved back, right? How’re you liking small-town life?”

“I’m… taking it day by day,” you say, half-joking.

“That bad, huh?”

You let out a breathy laugh. “You could say that.”

She gently touches your arm, stopping you in your tracks. “Got any plans this Friday?”

“Not really, why?”

She gives you a grin that could charm the pants off just about anyone. “A few of us are going out. Just some drinks, a few laughs. Maybe a fun night out is what you need.”

You think it over for a moment. Sure, you’ve kept in touch with your college friends, but since moving back, you haven’t really hung out with anyone besides your parents. And, well… Joel.

The thought is enough to convince you. “Yeah, alright. I’m in.”

“Perfect! I’ll swing by and pick you up around seven. You won’t regret it, promise.” She winks and turns down the next aisle, leaving you with a lighter heart and a basket full of groceries.

It took a while, but you finally dug out the perfect black top from the back of your closet. Paired with some flared jeans and a leather jacket slung over your arm, you had yourself a killer outfit.

You hopped down the stairs, hearing the hum of Charlotte’s car idling out front.

“Mom! Dad! I’m heading out now, I’ll be back around midnight!” you call, pulling the jacket on as you reach the bottom step.

Your mom emerges from the kitchen, a towel in her hands, mid-dry. “Heading out where?”

You sigh, already regretting the interaction. “With Charlotte, mom. I told you earlier.”

“Oh, Charlie! She’s a darling. She’s doing the pageant this year, you know? Took a bit of convincing, but she’s a star. I’ve got all my money on her winning. That body, that face—she’s got it in the bag.” Her eyes flick over you then, slowly dragging up and down your own body. “Glad you’re hanging out with her, maybe you’ll pick up a thing or two.”

You’re used to the digs—decades of practice, really—but lately, it’s been harder to brush off. The grip you have on your emotions feels like it’s slipping more every day.

Still, you hold back the biting retort on the tip of your tongue. Not worth starting a third world war over this.

“Goodnight, mom.”

You turn and walk out the door, heading straight for Charlotte’s car, ignoring the sting of her words as best you can.

The car ride there flies by. Charlotte, despite your previous judgment after your mom mentioned her being a pageant girl, is beyond fun. You do karaoke the whole way there, getting to know each other a bit better in between songs. She’s not just sweet but also insanely smart. She’s finishing up nursing school and has her entire future pretty much planned out. You envy her a little for that last part.

Once she parks in front of the bar, she turns to you and says, “You ready to wild out?”

You laugh, nerves bubbling under the surface, trying to play it off. “Always ready to wild out.”

Stepping out of the car, you smooth down your top and follow Charlotte toward the entrance. The place is a little louder than you anticipated, music spilling out into the night air along with bursts of laughter. It’s a small town bar, but it’s packed.

“Come on, let’s get a drink first!” Charlotte grabs your hand, leading you through the crowd with ease, like she’s been here a hundred times before. You feel the warmth of her energy, the way she confidently navigates the room, and you can’t help but feel a little more at ease.

At the bar, Charlotte orders for both of you, flashing the bartender a bright smile as he hands over two drinks. She passes you one. “Here’s to new friends,” she says, raising her glass.

“To new friends,” you echo, clinking your glass with hers before taking a sip. The burn of alcohol feels like the start of something good, a buzz already settling in.

Charlotte leans closer, her voice cutting through the noise. “So… any cute guys on your radar tonight?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Not really here for that.”

“Oh, come on, there’s gotta be someone.” She gives you a teasing nudge, but when you hesitate, her eyes narrow in playful suspicion. “Wait. Don’t tell me. You’ve got a guy already?”

Your heart skips a beat at the question, and suddenly, Joel flashes in your mind. You try to shake it off, but Charlotte’s quick. She catches the flicker of emotion on your face, and her smile shifts into something more knowing.

“Oh, girl… you do, don’t you?”

You can’t help the way your face heats up, and you take another long sip of your drink to cover it. “It’s not like that.”

Charlotte leans in, her smile turning mischievous. “Uh-huh. Sure it isn’t. Spill—who’s the lucky guy?”

“It’s complicated,” you mutter, feeling a little ridiculous. You came out tonight to get away from these thoughts, not drown in them.

“Complicated usually means interesting,” she says, taking a sip from her own glass. “Is it someone I’d know?”

You hesitate. The thought of saying Joel’s name out loud feels… wrong, somehow. Like it’ll make everything you’ve been wrestling with real, something you can’t just shove aside like you’ve been trying to. You shift in your seat, tapping your fingers against the cool glass.

“Maybe,” you finally admit, your voice quieter now. “But it’s not a good idea. He’s older. Like, way older.”

Charlotte raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but not judging. “Well, you’re an adult, that shouldn’t be much of an issue. If the chemistry’s there, it’s there.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just that, he’s also a family friend. I don’t even know if he’d be interested, you know? It’s just too messy.”

Charlotte gives you a sympathetic look. “I get it. Messy’s never fun.” She takes a deep breath before flashing you a soft smile. “But for what it’s worth, you don’t have to feel guilty about liking someone, even if it feels complicated.”

You let her words hang in the air for a moment, absorbing them. You know she’s right, but knowing doesn’t make it any easier.

“Come on,” Charlotte says, pulling you from your thoughts. She stands, taking her drink with her. “Let’s dance. Forget about the complicated stuff for a while.”

You give her a small smile, grateful for the distraction. “Yeah, okay.”

You follow her to the dance floor, the thrum of the music vibrating through your body as you try to let yourself go, to let the rhythm take over and drown out the noise in your head.

A little while passes before Charlotte’s friends finally arrive. She spots them first, waving them over from where you're both standing near the dance floor.

“Over here!” she calls out, her voice rising above the music. “Guys, this is the girl I was telling y’all about.”

You turn to see a group heading your way—two girls and a guy, all dressed up but casual in a way. The girls reach you first, both of them with that same easy warmth Charlotte exudes.

“This is Amber,” Charlotte says, gesturing to a brunette with big doe eyes and gorgeous caramel skin.

Amber flashes you a wide grin. “Hey! So nice to finally meet you. Glad you survived a car ride with Charlotte, without any permanent hearing loss, I hope?”

Charlotte gasps, playfully smacking Amber on the arm. “Excuse me, my car concerts are a privilege to experience.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Honestly, the karaoke was the best part.”

Amber raises her eyebrows with a smirk. “See? She gets it.”

Charlotte rolls her eyes before motioning to the girl beside Amber. “And this is Josie,” she introduces, pointing to the girl with sleek black hair and striking hazel eyes.

“Hey there,” Josie says, pulling you in for a quick, friendly hug. “Welcome to the chaos.”

You chuckle, feeling instantly comfortable around them. Charlotte then glances over her shoulder at the guy lingering behind the girls—a tall, brown-haired guy with an easygoing smile.

“Oh, and this is Alex. He’s Amber’s brother” she adds, nodding toward him.

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Alex says, stepping forward with a relaxed grin. “Charlotte’s been talking about you all week.”

You can’t help but laugh. “All good things, I hope?”

He nods, his voice smooth and calm. “All great things.”

His energy is different from the girls—more laid-back—but he’s just as welcoming.

The rest of the night is exactly that—effortless fun. Laughter flows as freely as the drinks, your mind slipping into a peaceful place that you haven’t felt since you got back. It’s a feeling you cling to, desperate to keep it alive for as long as you can. Like being wrapped in a bubble where everything is light, easy, and uncomplicated. You don’t want it to burst.

But eventually, thirst creeps in, and you find yourself craving another drink. You make your way to the bar, Alex trailing behind you.

“You having fun?” he asks, once you both have drinks in hand.

You nod, smiling as you prop your head up on your closed fist. “Actually, yeah. A lot more than I expected.”

Alex chuckles, leaning against the bar, his eyes studying you in that way you’ve seen before—soft but curious. “Well, contrary to popular belief, us small-town folk know how to have fun too.”

His smile is kind, warm. It suits him. You take a moment to really look at him, now that you're out of the haze of the dance floor and the dim lighting. He’s undeniably handsome—those soft features, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he grins. He feels safer, easier. A lot more inviting and open than… fuck.

Even as you take in all of Alex’s best features, your thoughts drift elsewhere. To a man whose presence has been ingrained in your brain for the past month. The way his rough edges make him so different from Alex. How his gaze isn’t soft at all, it lingers like a weight, heavy and consuming in a way that you can’t shake off.

Fuck.

You’re sitting here, comparing this sweet, charming guy to Joel, trying to convince yourself to like Alex more. You should. He’s age appropriate, and your dad would love him. It would make everything so much simpler. But no matter how hard you try, Joel lingers in the back of your mind, refusing to leave you alone. You haven’t been able to escape him, not even with a handsome guy straight-up flirting with you at a bar.

The realization hits you like a punch to the gut. You blink, lost in the mess of your thoughts.

“Hey,” Alex’s voice pulls you back to the moment, concern etched on his face. “You alright? Where’d you go?”

You force a smile, waving it off like it’s nothing. “Sorry, just spaced out for a second.” But the truth is, you’re spiraling, and you desperately need air. Suddenly, all the drinks you've downed feel like too much and not enough at the same time. Everything looks hazy and blurry, and you just need space.

Once the bartender hands you your new drink, you turn to Alex. “I’m uh… I’m gonna go get some air. Would you let the girls know for me?”

Alex looks at you for a second, sensing there’s more to it, but he concedes. “Sure, take your time, I’ll let them know.”

With that, you step outside.

The cool midnight air hits your skin the moment you push through the doors, instantly grounding you, but it doesn’t quite settle the buzzing in your chest. You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your racing thoughts, but it’s impossible to ignore the weight that’s been sitting there for weeks.

Joel.

You hate that it’s him filling your mind right now, after everything. You should be enjoying this—cute guy, fun night, no strings attached. But instead, all you can think about is the way he makes you feel.

It’s frustrating, and you’re tired of carrying it around in silence.

You’re realizing now, with an empty glass in your hands, that this last drink might’ve been a mistake. Without fully thinking it through, you pull out your phone and scroll to his name. You hesitate for only a second before hitting the call button. It rings once, twice, then a third time before it goes to voicemail.

You should hang up—calling was a bad decision in the first place—but leaning against the wall of the bar, staring up at the sky, you can’t help the words that spill out.

“Hey…” Your voice is low, slurred with alcohol but steady enough. “I went out with a friend tonight, Charlotte. I’m sure you know her. We came to this small, crowded bar that I don’t feel like going back into, and there was this cute guy, dazzling smile, pretty puppy eyes, you know the kind. God, he used to be my type too—me from a couple of months ago would be screaming to go give him my number. But he was talking to me, and I just… I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. It was like he was missing something, a bit more of a drawl or a patchy beard or kicking me out of his house randomly ‘cause he started touching my leg.” You chuckle softly. “But it’s not just him, Joel, it’s all of them. Every boy I see now—they're all either too soft, or too short, or too lanky, too nice or too chatty. They're just… I don’t know, not you. And it’s funny, ‘cause you don’t care. I’m here losing sleep over insignificant glances and touches and whatever, and you’re walking into my house to watch the damn game with my dad like it’s nothing. Like this is all nothing. Which I guess it is. It makes me a bit stupid to be acting like there was ever something here to begin with.”

You pause, your chest tight, mind buzzing.

“It doesn’t matter. This whole thing is stupid. I should probably figure out a way to get myself back home.” You pause again, biting your lip. “Please delete this in the morning and let’s never talk about it again, okay? I’ll be mortified. Goodnight.”

Your breath hitches as the words tumble out, and you clench your jaw, suddenly embarrassed by your own admission. But it’s too late. You’ve already hung up.

Steam still clings to the bathroom mirror as Joel steps out of the shower, towel slung low on his hips. The day has weighed on him—long hours, sun beating down, the usual aches and stiffness creeping into his bones. He runs a hand through his damp hair, catching a glimpse of himself in the fogged-up glass, the lines on his face more pronounced tonight.

With a heavy sigh, he pads barefoot across the room to his nightstand, reaching for his phone. There’s a part of him that wants to just lie down and shut the world out for a while, but old habits die hard, and checking his phone before bed is one he can’t seem to break. He unlocks it, thumb absently scrolling through notifications until your name flashes across the screen, and a voicemail icon blinks at him.

He freezes.

Your name.

For a moment, Joel just stares at it, thumb hovering above the screen. He hasn’t heard from you since the other night at your dad’s house—since that awkward, tension-filled game that still sits heavy in his mind. It would’ve been easier to keep the distance if you weren’t always… there. But you were.

He hesitates.

Maybe he shouldn’t listen.

But then, with a quiet curse under his breath, Joel presses play and brings the phone to his ear. There’s a beat of silence, a soft crackle before your voice comes through, and he feels something knot tight in his chest.

“Hey…” Your voice is quiet, a little slurred, like you’ve had a few too many. His brows knit together as you continue. You start talking about the bar, about a guy. A cute guy. A pang of something ugly twists in Joel’s gut, though he forces himself to keep listening.

"...used to be my type too… me from a couple months ago would be screaming to go give him my number."

Joel exhales, hand gripping the phone a little tighter as he leans back against the bed frame, legs stretched out in front of him. He swallows down the strange burn in his throat when you laugh, your words sinking in deeper with every second.

It’s when you mention the comparisons—how no one quite measures up to him—that something flickers across his expression. You shouldn’t be saying this, shouldn’t be thinking this, and yet… here you are. His jaw clenches when you talk about him touching your leg. He remembers that moment, how he’d pushed you away, forced that distance between you both before it got out of hand. But the way you bring it up now makes his pulse quicken, heat rising in him despite his efforts to keep it at bay.

"Every boy I see now—they're all either too soft, or too short, or too lanky, too nice or too chatty. They're just… not you."

His heart pounds harder at that, the breath he didn’t know he was holding finally releasing in a quiet exhale. Damn it. You weren’t supposed to feel this way. And he wasn’t supposed to like hearing it.

Your voice wavers when you say it doesn’t matter, that the whole thing is stupid, but Joel knows better. He hears it in the way you trail off, that vulnerability you can’t quite hide when you tell him to delete the message, pretend it never happened.

The voicemail ends, the room falling into an almost oppressive silence as Joel lowers the phone. He’s still staring at the screen, his thumb hovering over the delete option, but he can’t bring himself to press it. He should. You told him to. It would be the smart thing to do—erase the evidence, keep things clean between you two, never bring it up again.

But instead, Joel lets the phone fall to his chest, closing his eyes as he leans his head back against the headboard. His pulse still thrums in his ears, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air. He knows he should forget it, but deep down, he knows it’s already too late for that.

A gnawing worry creeps in, pricking at the back of his mind. The slur in your voice, the way you sounded just… off. The mention of getting home by yourself.

He tells himself it’s just concern, that’s all. You’d been drinking, probably too much, and you shouldn’t be out alone at this hour. What kind of man would he be if he didn’t at least make sure you were alright?

But even as he gets up, throwing on an old t-shirt and grabbing his truck keys, Joel knows it’s not just that. There’s a deeper pull, something he can’t shake, and it’s not only about your safety. It’s about you, being near you, even when he’s spent weeks trying to keep that distance. The line he keeps redrawing in the sand has blurred so many times now, and yet, here he is, crossing it again.

He grips the steering wheel tight as he drives, headlights cutting through the dark, each street he passes tightening the knot of anticipation in his chest. He shouldn’t be doing this. It’s reckless, irresponsible. He’s trying to justify it—hell, he could call Charlotte, or maybe your dad, someone else to check on you. But no, he’s out here, already halfway across town, and that says more than he’s willing to admit.

Finally, he spots you. The dim glow of a streetlight casts a faint circle around where you’re sitting on the sidewalk, head resting on your arms, knees pulled up close to your chest. You look small, lost, and it tugs at something inside of him.

Joel pulls up slowly, parking a few feet away, his eyes locked on you through the windshield. For a second, he just sits there, watching. You’re still, unmoving, save for the occasional shift of your shoulders. He debates turning around, leaving before you even notice, but he knows that’s not an option. Not now.

Stepping out of the truck, Joel takes a breath, steeling himself before approaching. His boots scuff softly against the pavement as he gets closer, his heart thudding in his chest.

He clears his throat softly. “Hey…” His voice is low, careful. “You alright?”

You lift your head slowly, blinking against the bright light of the streetlamp as your eyes meet his. For a second, you don’t say anything, and neither does he.

Then your soft voice breaks the silence. “Are you really here or am I that drunk?”

He can’t help but let out a breathy laugh. Just like that, all the worries and the guilt, the pressure to do what’s right, it’s all gone in a heartbeat. It doesn’t matter. Not right now. Because you're sitting there in front of him, beautiful as ever, looking up with those glossy, wide eyes that make your usual sweetness seem even more disarming.

So he let’s go. Just for tonight, he can enjoy this feeling instead of shoving it down.

“Come on, party girl,” he murmurs, his voice softer now. “Let’s get you home.”

You try to stand, but your heels betray you, and before you can fully straighten up, you’re stumbling. Joel’s right there, catching you without a second thought, just like he always is. His hand wraps around your arm, steadying you, like it's second nature.

“I need to stop tumbling down every time I’m around you,” you mumble, slurring your words with a hint of frustration in your humor. Your brows furrow in concentration as you focus on taking the small, careful steps toward Joel’s truck. “I swear I’m usually not a clumsy person.”

He chuckles, his hand still holding onto you as if it’s where it belongs. “It’s alright. I like you tumbling onto me.”

There’s a subtle warmth in his words that he doesn’t even try to hide now.

He helps you get situated in the passenger seat before rounding the truck and sliding into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t start the engine right away, though. For a second, he just sits there, hands gripping the wheel, his eyes flicking toward you and then away, not knowing how far he’s allowing himself to go tonight. He needs to say something, move this goddamn situation forward somehow.

You break the silence first, your voice softer now, pulling him back from the spiral. “Joel… You didn’t have to come get me.”

His fingers flex on the wheel, jaw tightening. He knows he didn’t have to come. He shouldn’t have. But Lord, the second he heard that voicemail, his mind spun into a frenzy—your voice all slurred and honest in a way it never had been before. You sounded… lost. He doesn’t want to admit how incapable he felt of doing nothing in that moment.

He lets out a slow breath, rubbing his hand over his face. "Yeah, I did."

You look at him, blinking slowly like you’re trying to figure him out. He can see the alcohol buzzing behind your eyes, but there’s clarity there too, something cutting through all that fog. “Why?” you ask, your voice soft, hesitant. “Why did you come?”

He swears he hears the crack in his own chest before he even opens his mouth. Why the hell did he come? He knows the answer. He knows what you’re trying to get him to say. But he can’t say it, not without giving something away he isn’t ready to give. So he falls back on the one thing that’s easy. “Because you called,” he says, his voice low, rough. “And I—” He hesitates, the words sitting on his tongue like they’ll choke him. “I was worried.”

Worried. It’s weak, but it’s the best excuse he’s got.

Your gaze softens, and it’s like you see right through him, see all the bullshit he’s trying to keep up. “You don’t have to keep doing that,” you murmur. “Act like you’re just worried about me because of… whatever. I’m not stupid, Joel.”

His heart stutters in his chest. His first instinct is to argue, to push back, but something about the way you’re looking at him makes him pause. He clenches his jaw, trying to harden his expression, but you’ve always had this way of seeing past that. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he manages, though his voice comes out more defensive than he means for it to.

But you don’t back down. You never do. “I think I do. I think you do too.”

Joel’s heart starts pounding harder in his chest. There’s a moment where everything feels too quiet, like the whole world is holding its breath, waiting for him to do something—say something that’ll either make this all blow up in his face or force him to admit things he’s been burying for weeks. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He shakes his head, trying to break free from whatever hold you’ve got on him.

He starts the truck, the sound of the engine a relief. “We should get you home,” he mutters, trying to steady his voice, even though everything inside him feels like it’s tipping over the edge.

But as he pulls onto the road, his grip on the wheel tight, he can’t stop glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. He’s trying to keep his distance, trying to convince himself this is just him doing what’s right, being a good man. But the truth’s gnawing at him, clawing its way up, no matter how much he pushes it down: He didn’t come here just to get you home.

"Can we get something to eat?" Your voice startles him, bringing him back from the place he just mentally went to. “I’m starving.”

“Um… sure. What do you feel like?”

“Anything greasy and fast. Something that’ll soak up all the bad decisions I made tonight,” you joke, but there’s something in your voice, a vulnerability that Joel doesn’t miss.

You end up at a late-night drive-thru, ordering burgers and fries. He pulls into a quiet spot and turns off the engine, the warmth of the food filling the truck. It’s quiet for a moment, the air between you heavier than it should be.

“You alright?” he asks, turning to look at you.

You don't answer right away, staring out the windshield, your fingers playing with the edge of the fry wrapper. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “I’ve just… been feeling off lately.”

Joel’s not sure how to respond. He’s used to your bratty quips and playful banter, but this—you letting him in like this—feels different.

“You don’t have to explain,” he says, his voice low, gentle. “Sometimes things just get… heavy.”

You nod, taking a small bite of your burger before setting it down, barely touched. “It’s been weird being back home. Everything’s familiar, but nothing feels right, you know? Like I should fit here, and I don’t.”

He shifts in his seat, turning slightly to face you. “Yeah, I get that,” he says, surprising even himself with the admission. “Felt like that for a long time. Still do sometimes.”

You look over at him, really look at him, and for the first time tonight, there’s no walls between you. No snarky comments, no tension bubbling beneath the surface. Just two people who’ve been through a lot, trying to figure out how to navigate the mess.

“You? Really?” you ask, genuinely surprised.

He nods, glancing down at the steering wheel. “Yeah, really. Even when everything seems like it’s where it’s supposed to be, it still doesn’t always… fit. It’s hard to explain.”

For a moment, you just sit there, sharing the silence. It’s not awkward, though—more like a mutual understanding, something deeper than words could convey. Joel finds himself relaxing, letting his guard down more than he intended.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you say softly.

He smiles at that. “Couldn’t leave you out there like that, darlin’” he replies, his tone soft but firm.

You return his smile, small but genuine. It makes Joel feel like maybe—just maybe—this isn’t a mistake after all. It’s not about crossing lines or getting too close. It’s about being there for you, like he wants to be, like you need him to be.

And somehow, that feels right.

Tag list: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog , @untamedheart81 , @mellymbee , @wintersquirrel , @chyannealaniz , @spiderman-n-n , @ghostofzion , @sjc7542 , @yyiikes , @pedrofan @loveisacowboy @sageluvsjoel

[rosenclaws]

Rewatching Someone Like You and here to ask for any thoughts you may have on giggly sex with Eddie 🥰🥰

Giggly sex with Eddie

warnings: MINORS DNI!! fem!reader.

a/n: Just thinking about this as he me all warm and fuzzy inside lol

I think once you and Eddie have established your relationship not much changes other than him being more open to getting close to you. To being intimate.

But he's still the sweet and slighty cocky guy you've always known. He's a tease but he can have fun too. He's not always super serious with sex and the most important thing for him is that you're comfortable.

So maybe it starts out with you guys being flirty and slightly tipsy. He's taken you to his favorite bar, you know the one with bras hanging on the wall. You gave him a look when you first walked in and he just shrugged. Telling you that if you want he can hang one of your bras on the his wall too.

Anyways you're drinking a little and he's ramping up the flirting even though you're already together, he just can't help it. He loves seeing you smile and get all flustered.

He pulls the cheesy line of "Wanna get out of here?" and you roll your eyes. As if you don't live together.

The walk back to your apartment is all him sneaking kisses and grabbing your ass playfully. When you finally get back to your place he's already undressing you. Kissing you as he strips yours and his clothes off.

Your laughing and kissing and you can barely make it to the bed. Its fun and sweet and Eddie is just all smiles.

He slips his fingers into you, grinning as your laughs get caught in your throat, moans replacing them and they sound even sweeter. Your arms are wrapped around him.

He's making teasing comments until he makes you come hard around his fingers. He wastes no time in sliding his cock into you. Kissing your shoulder as he pounds into you.

Look he's pretty wrapped up in what he's doing and you're mind is pretty much melted by then that neither of you really notice that you're slowly moving off the bed. Until you fall off.

Eddie turns to take the fall and you fall right on top of him. The first thing he does is make sure your okay and then the laughs come. I mean how could you not laugh. You rest your forehead against your chest as the giggles take over.

Tangled in the sheets and in each others arms. You're just happy. Eddie's happy. You're both just happy. He presses a kiss to your forehead and whispers that he loves you.

Eventually you get back on the bed and finish what you started. Giggles and all.

[sweet-villain]

Cause I Believe~ 1~ Older E.M

Summary : You move next door to Eddie Munson, and he welcomes you with his friends.

Author's Note : I had so much fun writing this.

Older Eddie

Boxes crowd the porch as you fumble with the last big box, the air thick with the smell of fresh paint and sun-baked wood.

A figure leans on the fence in the upstairs complex, a cigarette hanging loose from his lips. Eddie Munson. Scruffy beard, long brown hair dusted with silver, tattoos inked into his skin like a personal history. His gaze lingers, unsettling yet intriguing.

" Welcome to the shit hole" His voice carries a gravely edge but he doesn't turn to glance at you.

You offer him an uneasy smile, unsure about the way he stood, " Thanks?"

The air hung heavy. He takes long drags of his cigarettes, eyes moving slowly towards you and looking away quickly.

" What's with the box? You hiding some toys or your stash or porno magazines?" He chuckled, teasing.

" Just some junk" you shrugged.

" You must have a lot of junk, then"

Before you answer him, a group calls out his name rounding the corner. Your eyebrows knit together not really recognizing them.

" Oh! Eddie's got a new neighbor!"

Dustin nudges Mike. “Think they’ll survive living next to Eddie?”

“Probably not,” Robin chirps, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Eddie rolls his eyes but can’t hide the twitch of a smile.

“Don’t mind him,” Steve nudges Eddie, “he mostly bites.”

" I'm Steve" he offers his hands out. Steve had chestnut hair, long, some strand hanging from his forehead creating a shadow like and you can see chest hair peeking out of his shirt. He sported a scruff on his face and glasses. He was kinda cute.

" Y/N" you shook his hand.

" Stop flirting with my neighbor, Harrington" Eddie mumbles loud enough for Steve to hear.

Steve chuckled, raising his eyebrow. " Aw, don't worry Munson. She's all yours." Eddie rolled his eyes.

Eddie flicks the ash from his cigarette, crossing his arms defiantly. “Yeah, right. I’m just here to enjoy this shit hole of a town."

Dustin leans in, eyes wide with curiosity. “Seriously, though. Are you settling in? Or are you just gonna stare at Eddie all day?”

Your eyes widen at his question, red appears on your cheeks. You didn't mean to stare at Eddie. But he was really pretty, he must of had all the girls in high school.

“I just… You know, boxes.”

Robin snorted."Boxes? That's your excuse?" She chuckles, her eyes glinting with amusement. “If I were you, I’d be more interested in our resident rockstar over here.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and pushes Robin shoulder playfully, " Hey, now Buckley." 

Robin sidesteps, laughter spilling into the cool afternoon breeze. “What? It’s true! Just look at those tattoos. You could practically sell tickets.”

Eddie snorts, shaking his head. " You do know I know how to play guitar and sing." “Yeah? Never heard of a tattooed rockstar that could play a mean bone flute,” Dustin quips, nudging Eddie with his elbow. The laughter crescendos around you, an infectious rhythm that sets the tone.

" Where you all friends in high school?" you asked.Mike scratches the back of his head, glancing at the others. “More like we became friends through, you know, monster hunting and—”

“Way too many Dungeons & Dragons sessions,” Dustin interjects, eyes sparkling with nostalgia.

" What did you mean monster hunting? Like hunting for animals or what?" Dustin beams like he’s about to share a great secret. “Not animals—like, actual monsters. We faced Demogorgons, Mind Flayers, all that fun stuff!” He gestures grandly.

" What?" you looked at them strangly. " What are those?" Eddie notices your eyes look wide a bit. Eddie chuckles, leaning against the fence, arms still crossed. “You probably think we’re a bunch of lunatics right now.”

“Maybe?” A nervous laugh escapes you, face still warm from the conversation.

" You all look nice and welcoming, but you look trouble Eddie.." Eddie lifts an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. “Trouble? Nah, just misunderstood.” He offers a mock bow, the cigarette dangling precariously.

" I'm sure your great, Eddie" you brushed a piece of hair behind your ear while holding the box still. Eddie's smirk deepens, a playful challenge flickering in his eyes. “Great? That’s quite the compliment. Do I look great?” 

" I mean... fasinating.." Eddie leans closer, feigning a hurt expression. “Fascinating? That’s it? I was expecting ‘incredible’ or ‘magnificent.’” His lips twitch, barely holding back a grin.

“Right! I’m Dustin, this is Mike, and that’s Robin.” He gestures to each as if presenting trophies. 

“Dustin,” you repeat, catching his infectious enthusiasm. “Nice to meet you all.”

Do you need help settling in?" Steve asked as he eyed you up and down, already developing a small crush. “Uh, sure,” you reply, eyeing the remaining boxes stacked like confounding towers. “I wouldn’t mind some extra hands.”

“Count me in!” Steve beams, as if he thrives on teamwork.

" I have things to do" Eddie says, not wanting to get close to you even though you seem nice. He didn't want to get close to you, as in a pretty girl like you.. he just can't. He never gets the girl. Eddie flicks his cigarette onto the ground, the ember glowing briefly before extinguishing under his boot. He scoffs lightly, folding his arms tighter. 

“Yeah, right. Like you’re just going to sit back and let Harrington pullall the weight around here,” Robin challenges, her eyes narrowing at Eddie with a playful fire.

"I'm sure Eddie is doing his best estimate of a rockstar," Steve jabs, nudging Eddie with a grin. 

“More like a rock!”Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve, a mock frown plastered on his face. “Rude. Rocks have feelings too, you know.”

" Some special rocks then" You laugh, the absurdity of it bubbling in your chest. “Maybe a rock that plays guitar?”

Eddie feigns a dramatic gasp. “Excuse me, that’s way too close to my personal brand.” He taps his temple, mocking a deep thought. 

" Maybe those special rocks with have an album on your shelf as a trophy"Eddie glances at you, his eyes brightening for a fleeting moment. “An album? Now that’s not a bad idea. I could call it ‘Rock Solid.’” 

Dustin bursts into laughter, slapping his knee. “

“I’d buy that album,” you shot back, your grin widening. Eddie watches, surprise etching across his face, an unfamiliar warmth creeping into his expression.

Eddie shakes his head, the charming banter swirling around him, but it feels like an echo slightly detached from his reality. 

You swing open the weathered oak door to your apartment, gesturing for them to enter. Eddie lingers behind, his lean frame silhouetted against the twilight sky. He takes a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling a plume of silvery smoke that swirls in the cool evening air. His ring-adorned fingers grip the wrought iron fence, knuckles whitening with tension.

Stepping inside, your guests are enveloped by the warmth of your uniquely curated space. The apartment exudes a cozy, eclectic charm that defies conventional styles. Vintage photographs and vibrant art posters adorn the walls, each telling a fragment of your story. A plush, well-worn leather couch invites relaxation, its cushions adorned with an assortment of colorful throw pillows. The kitchen gleams with polished countertops and neatly arranged copper pots, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air, hinting at the culinary adventures to come.

A scattering of houseplants clung to the sunlight, their leaves glistening with vitality. 

“Dude, this place is awesome!” Dustin exclaimed, eyes wide as he stepped into the cozy scene. 

Thank you, I love to design and play with colors" you tell him. “Colors really pop,” Mike nods, glancing around the living room before zeroing in on the wall hung with eclectic art. “Did you do all this yourself?”

" Yeah, most of it. My mother used to be a painter.." Mike’s eyes soften, a flicker of understanding shining through. “That’s really cool. It’s got character, you know? Feels warm here.” 

Robin eyes one of the paintings and it's you. " Did she paint this?" Your gaze follows Robin’s, landing on a vibrant portrait. You nod, the warmth of nostalgia washing over you. “Yeah, she did. It's one of my favorites. Captured me during a summer dance in our backyard.”

" I was ten there I believe. At least that was she told me. My mom alwasy thought I've held some magic when I danced, used to sing too..." you trailed. A soft smile dances across your lips, bittersweet memories surfacing. 

"Are you going to give Eddie a run for his money? Be the new musician in the neighborhood?" Dustin asked. You chuckle, shaking your head at the absurdity. “Hardly. My dancing days are behind me, and I’m no rockstar.” 

" You never know, you and Eddie could sing together one day." Steve suggests. Laughter erupts, threading through the air like a playful breeze. 

" I stopped singing when my mother died.." you glanced down at your converse. Silence coated the room like a soft blanket, the lively chatter fading into a hush. A weight pressed into the air, heavy with understanding.

" She was the only one to believe in me. She said I had the most angelic voice she's ever heard. I used to put my little sister to bed singing her a bed time song..." Steve exchanges a glance with Mike, the lively energy of their previous banter dimming. Dustin shifts awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, as if trying to find a lighthearted comment. 

" We're sorry, we didn't mean to bring anything up." You shake your head, a faint smile flickering back. “It’s okay. Just… sometimes things slip out.”

" That's also why I decided to move out, her funeral was... a month ago..." The room remains still, the weight of your words settling over the group like a thick fog. Dustin glances around, his youthful face painted with concern. 

"Hey, we totally understand," Steve says, his voice low and steady. 

“Whenever you’re ready to talk or just need to vent, we’re here.” 

You nod slowly, appreciation swelling against the ache in your chest. “Thanks. It helps, really.” 

" I hardly know you guys, too." The room buzzes with a peculiar intensity, a blend of sympathy.

“Yeah, but that’s how we roll around here,” Steve declares, leaning against the arm of the couch, arms crossed.

" We support one another" Dustin says. " We have each other's back" Robin adds. Eddie shifts his weight, the flicker of cigarette smoke dancing around him, creating an illusion of distance. Unbothered by the heaviness, he taps his fingers against his arm, a nervous gesture that breaks the stillness.

" Like a family" Eddie mumbles. Dustin leans back, nodding vigorously. “Exactly! And you’re part of it now. That is, if you can handle our weirdness.” 

Hey!" Steve plafully glared as he pouted. You chuckle, warmth spreading through your chest.

" It's just might be what I need" you mumble, " It's been a long time since I've really smiled.." Dustin's eyes sparkle, a hint of mischief swirling within. “Then we have our mission! Operation Make Y/N Smile starts now!”

You chuckle at Robin’s exasperation, the tension in the room easing a fraction. “Okay, I appreciate the enYou chuckle at Robin’s exasperation, the tension in the room easing a fraction. “Okay, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I do need to sort through this stuff.” 

" By the way, what is a dingus?" you asked. Laughter erupts again, and for a moment, the heaviness lifts.

“Dingus?” Dustin’s eyes sparkle with glee. 

“I think it’s a term of endearment,” Mike offers, grinning.

“It means youa bit of a goofball,” Steve chimes in, winking at Dustin. “That applies to all of us at some point.”

" You should get it tattooed then, Eddie" you playfully chuckled at him as a joke. Eddie raises an eyebrow, his expression shifting between mock horror and genuine intrigue. “A tattoo? Of ‘dingus’? That’s what I need, a permanent reminder of my goofball status.” He taps his chin, takingover his demeanor.

“I could design it,” you suggest, your voice light as you scan the room, feeling the infectious energy. 

"Oh boy" Eddie mumbles as he walks into your apartment closing the door. Eddie leans his back against the door, arms crossed, eyes darting around the room. He takes in the vibrant colors, the warped frames holding photographs, each seeming to whisper stories of laughter and joy.

" What's the matter, Eddie? It's not dark and gloomy to your taste?" you asked.Eddie straightens, feigning a look of horror. “What? No skulls? No velvet curtains?” He gestures dramatically around the room. “What am I supposed to do with all this brightness? Wear sunglasses?”

"That looks like more of my bedroom thing" you smirked. Eddie throws his head back, laughter erupting from him as he steps deeper into your vibrant world. “Your bedroom must be a whole other gallery, then. I’m just picturing rainbows and unicorns.”

" I don't like pink, and I am not exactly a girly girl" you glance down at your Metallica worn shirt and black shorts with green converse. Eddie raises an eyebrow, his grin broadening. “Metallica, huh? I can get behind that. At least your style has some edge.” He takes a step closer, his interest igniting as he surveys your eclectic taste. 

" Well I do ride a motorcycle. A harley" Eddie's eyes widen, a spark of genuine admiration flickering across his face. “A Harley? Now that’s pretty badass.” He shifts his weight, leaning in slightly. “What model?”

“Sportster,” you reply, a flicker of pride igniting in your chest. “Nothing crazy, but it gets me where I need to go.”

" I like you" Robin says as she pushes into your shoulder, " you're going to get along with us just fine. Another Eddie though." You chuckle, shaking your head. “Let’s not get carried away. I’m as much of a weirdo as you all are, but another Eddie? That’s a stretch.”

" Hey! I'm pretty great" Eddie puts a hand on his chest. “Sure you are, Munson,” Steve teases, leaning back against the couch with a satisfied grin. “Great at being a lovable weirdo. Best title ever.”

You open the box and it's full of your records you have collected. Vinyl records spill out like treasures from a forgotten past, their covers bursting with color and nostalgia. You can’t help but smile as you pick out a few.

“Whoa! You’ve got some classics here,” Steve says, " some of these are rare. Were you parents rich or something?" “Just lucky to find them at garage sales and thrift shops,” you explain, holding up a record with a tattered cover. “This one’s from an old-school band. My mom loved collecting vinyl.”

" Okay, stop being so cool" Eddie says. " You're going to give me a heart attack. I'm still young...well..you know what I mean..." You laugh, the sound bubbling over like a sunny stream. “Don’t worry, Munson. I’m not planning on stealing your title as the coolest in the neighborhood. That crown’s all yours.”

" Would you two stop flirting already? Get a room" Mike rolls his eyes. The teasing hung in the air like a well-placed joke, your cheeks warming at Mike’s comment. You exchanged a glance with Eddie, both of you caught off guard by the quip. 

“Flirting?” Eddie scoffed, hiseyes darting towards Mike, incredulity painted across his features. “Please. I don’t even know her last name yet.” He takes a deliberate step back, running his fingers through his hair as a way to regain his composure.

" And I'm sorta seeing someone" Eddie says, shrugging. “Sorta?” You echo, the curiosity bubbling to the surface. “That’s a peculiar way to put it.”

“Complicated,” he replies, leaning against the door, arms folded tight. 

" You can just say you have a fuck buddy" you shrug. "We aren't 12" Eddie’s smoky laughter dances through the air, a spark of surprise flickering in his eyes. “Damn, someone’s bold.” 

“Just keeping it real,” you respond, a playful glint in your gaze. 

" How about you, Y/N? Have anyone coming to swoop you off your feet?" Steve asks. The question hangs in the air, a sudden spotlight illuminating the room. A light flush creeps into your cheeks as you shift your weight awkwardly. 

" Not really, but riding a motorcycle like I have, has it's perks" you smirked. Dustin leans in, eyes wide with intrigue. “Oh, are you saying you’re dangerously cool? Like a movie heroine?” 

“Something like that.” You grinned.

Every guy I have came across, stares at my bike then at me, back at my guy and asks for my number." A ripple of laughter courses through the group, each taking turns to react. 

“Nice! That’s how you know you’re doing something right,” Dustin cheers, fist-pumping the air.

"One time I had gave this guy the number of my aunt who lives in California and she didn't understand what he said. She called me telling me some string cheese mop head was calling her in the middle of the night asking for a ride" you giggled. Laughter erupted in waves, the room brimming with shared stories and genuine delight.

“String cheese mop head, eh?” Steve cackled, nearly doubling over. “I’m stealing that one for future use.”

" He had spagetti like hair, greasy too. He didn't have enough balls either to check the name I have written down either on the paper" you snorted. More laughter erupted, the room vibrating with the energy of shared humor. Eddie leaned against the door, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Sounds like a true gem of a guy. Really raises the bar for us, huh?” 

" His zipper was undone too, I had a peek of the small carrot he had" Laughter bursts forth, an eruption of mirth that fills the room like music. Steve nearly collapses against the arm of the couch, howling with glee. “No way! You are not serious!”

" His buddy next to him, listening to our conversation forgot his pants at the bar. He had whales on his boxers, a leather jacket on and a red bandana on his head." The laughter swells, echoing against the walls. Steve struggles to breathe, clutching his stomach as if it might explode. 

“Whales?” Dustin wheezes between breaths. "What kind of guys did you attract?"

" Not just whales, when he turned to walk away, he had a tatoo that said " Mama".“‘Mama,’ huh?” Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. “Now that’s a classy touch.” “Right? I mean, who doesn’t want a walking reminder of their mom on their butt?” You feign a serious tone, and Eddie bursts into laughter, the sound deep and genuine, pulling

Dustin opened the box and gasped seeing a whole system music set up. " You'r rich!" "Rich?" You cock an eyebrow, feigning offense as you retrieve a vintage record from the box. “This is thrift-store treasure hunting at its finest. Beats any of this overpriced junk you find in stores. You just need to look harder.”

" I'm an explorer and a finder" Dustin holds up a record, eyes wide with delight. “You’re telling me you just stumbled upon this treasure?” 

“Pretty much. The thrill’s in the hunt,” you say, your smile reflecting the joy of discoveries made over years.

" I didn't have any friends so this is all I did.." you scratched the back of your head. Dustin's expression turned sympathetic but curious. “What do you mean? No friends? With all this cool stuff, I figured you had a whole crew.”

" My father..." you gulped "...he was a drunk..." you closed your eyes ".... he beat me when I was home.. so I could not show anyone the bruises..." You looked away. " I didn't want to be home, so I went to hunt the best things I could find. Brought my mom things, used my allowance just that I could see her smile." You glanced at the ground. " I was too afraid for anyone to see me like that." Silence enveloped the room again, a stark contrast to the earlier warmth. Each friend’s gaze shifted, taking in the gravity of your words.

" He would beat my mom, but I'd cover her" your eyes closed rememebring the memories. “Things got better after he died..." “...but it took time,” you finish, the weight of the past unfurling in the quiet, palpable stillness.

" Please don't look at me like that" you begged. The weight of silence pressed against you, an unyielding void that seemed to stretch between moments. A cocktail of emotions brewed among the group, each one grappling with the reality of your words.

" Please.." A flicker of concern darkens Steve's gaze, his comforting demeanor faltering under the weight of your admission. He clasps his hands tightly in his lap, wrestling with the impulse to reach out.

" I'm not a broken record" Your voice weaves through the silence, but the weight of your confession seems to hang in the air like a thick fog. 

"It's life, and I'm a survior" The silence thickens, wrapping around you like a tender embrace. You draw a shaky breath, the words reverberating through the room, knitting together empathy and understanding.

Dustin wrapped his arms around you and placed his head on top of yours. The warmth of Dustin’s embrace felt oddly comforting, like being wrapped in a blanket on a chilly night. His head rested against yours—light, reassuring—reminding you that you weren’t alone. 

“ We aren't going anywhere" He says. You lean into Dustin, grateful for the comfort of his presence, the chaos of life momentarily quieting down.

" Eddie lives next door, you can always talk to him" Dustin suggest. But something in Eddie didn't sit right. " I'm not going to be her tharipist" Eddie says. Dustin pulls away, shooting Eddie a look laced with indignation. “Come on, Eddie. That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? She just needs some support.”

" No" Eddie growled. Eddie’s voice cut through the fragile atmosphere, tension coiling around his words like a snake. His arms remained crossed, but now they looked like a barrier. 

"She has a phone" Dustin’s eyes narrowed, disbelief washing over his face. “Eddie, seriously? It’s not just about talking to people on the phone. Sometimes you just need someone to listen, face-to-face.”

"She's just a girl" Eddie continues, " She is capable of calling someone" Dustin’s eyes spark with frustration. “So what? Just because she’s a girl, she doesn’t need support? Everyone needs someone to talk to!” 

" Not me" he grumbled.Dustin’s frustration flared, his voice rising with indignation. “You can’t just shut her out because you’re scared of getting close! That’s not fair!”

" I'm not scared, why would I want to get close to her? Just because she a cool collection of music? A motorcycle? Ha!" Eddie's words hung in the air, sharp and biting. You shifted uncomfortably, caught in the middle of this unexpected clash. 

" You're being too harsh, Eddie" Robin says. Eddie shifts, jaw clenched. “I’m just saying, people have their own shit to deal with. I can’t be someone’s crutch.”

" It's fine" you mumble, " I don't need some old smoking wannabe rockstar. Don't let the door hit you on the way out" you stood up from where you were sitting storming to your room and slamming the door. Who does he think he is? The thud of the door echoed in the small apartment, a sharp punctuation to your frustration. You pressed your back against the cool wood, eyes squeezed shut as you breathed heavily.

Fuck Eddie.

The walls felt like they were closing in, each breath heavy with frustration. You pressed your palm against the door, wishing for the chaotic swirl of voices to fade. 

" That wasn't necessary, Munson" Steve says. " Shut it, Harrington" Eddie says. Silence followed your retreat, the air thick with unresolved tension. The silence settled like a thick fog, wrapping around the group. Outside your door, muffled voices began to spiral, battling against the weight of what had just transpired.

“Eddie, what the hell?” Steve’s voice cracked slightly, disbeliefundeniable in his tone. 

Eddie leaned against the wall, his head tilted back, gaze distant. “What the hell did you want me to say? ‘Welcome to the family!’? She doesn’t need me.”Steve crossed his arms. “That’s not the point, Munson! She’s hurting, and you just—”

“Just what? Became her therapist?” Eddie cut him off, frustration lacing his words. 

" Don't use your dick, Eddie" Robin says. Eddie stood rigid, swallowing the weight of Robin’s words. The air thickened between them, alive with an electric tension. “I’m not trying to be a dick! I just don’t want to get involved in someone else's mess.”

You walked out of your room pointing a finger at Eddie, " I don't need you to be my friend or my therapist. I understand now why you can't keep a girl. I get it. " Your voice sliced through the lingering tension, brittle and frayed. Eddie’s eyes widened, the surprise washing over his features like a cold wave. His posture shifted, arms falling to his sides as you stepped into view.

" So tell me, why. Enlight me, princess " Eddie spatted throwing his hands. The room bristled with tension, a standoff brewing in the thick air between you and Eddie. His dark eyes narrowed, resentment flickering like embers. 

“Enlighten you?” you jabbed, anger fueling every word. “You think you can just stand there, looking all brooding and mysterious, and expect everyone to bow down? You’re not special, Eddie. You’re just another guy lost in your own mess.”

" Yeah, princess. That's all you got?" Eddie laughs. The laughter bursts from him, a hollow sound that reverberates against the walls, mingling with the tension hanging in the air. 

"You really think you know me?" Eddie sneers, his voice dropping an octave, the confrontation pushing the boundaries of the moment like a taut string ready to snap. 

" You probably never cleaned up after yourself, you reek of cigarettes and cheap smell coming from the trash can. When was the last time you brushed your hair? Look at that too, you're already getting old with all the grey hair. You're dick is probably wrinkyl too." Eddie’s laughter died, replaced by a sharp intake of breath as your words struck deep. The room fell into an echoing silence, the weight of your insult hanging in the air like a lead balloon. 

" Listen here, you brat" he starts, his voice low and steady, a dangerous calm seeping into the intensity of the moment. 

“Maybe I don’t clean up after myself,” he continued, eyes narrowing like a predator assessing its prey, “but at least I have friends." Your heart raced, the anger ricocheting in your chest. "Friends? Is that what you call them—people who watch you smoke yourself to death and enable your miserable attitude?" 

" My health isn't your business, princess" Eddie's words sliced through the stillness, a low growl that resonated with defiance. He stood there, unruly hair framing his face, tattoos shifting against his skin, a storm of emotions flickering in his dark eyes.

"You think your harsh words struck a nerve in me? Think again princess, I've been through a lot worse.." Eddie adds. His gaze bore into you, fierce and unwavering, challenging you to flinch.

“Worse than what? Stop being so dramatic, Munson." You glared back, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

" Try again, sweetheart. I dare you" his gaze darkens. A fierce silence settled like a dark cloud, thick with unspoken challenges. You could almost feel the weight of his words hanging in the air, daring you to dig deeper.

“Why don’t you tell me then?” You shot back, your voice unwavering, defiance twinkling in your eyes. “Let’s see who can out-terrible each other.”

" I don't have time for play time" he mumbles, rolling his eyes. His arms dropped to his sides, frustration rippling through his posture as he turned slightly away, still trapped in the conflict swirling in the room. 

" Did I hit a nerve? You ran out of words to say? Oh poor me" you dramatically put a hand on your forehead. Eddie's expression hardened, a flash of vulnerability battling behind the defiance. He fisted his hands at his sides, straining against the unwelcome wave of frustration that built behind his ribcage. 

“Enough with the performance,” he say, pointing a finger, " that mouth will get you in trouble." Your laughter slipped free, cutting through the tension. “Trouble? Please, I've been living in it long before I moved in next door to you.” 

Eddie’s jaw tightened, a fleeting glimpse of vulnerability hidden behind bravado. “You are nothing but a brat." “Brat? Really? That’s the best you got?” You shot back, arms crossed defiantly.

Eddie leaned against the wall, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. “It fits, doesn’t it? You probably never had a boyfriend dick you down good." Your breath hitched, outrage mixing with surprise. The bluntness of his words struck like lightning, charging the air between you. “Excuse me?” You narrowed your eyes, disbelief draping over your features.

“ Guys, stop fighting" Dustin say. " The both of you are adults" Dustin's voice sliced through the charged atmosphere, a plea echoing in stark contrast to the tension crackling between you and Eddie. 

“Yeah, adults who apparently act like children,” you shot back, your defiance barely holding back the sting.

" Sweetheart, you're acting like you never been laid. That's your problem. "The room tensed further, air crackling as if charged with static electricity. Emotions swirled like a wild storm, and the accusation hung in the air, sharp and biting. 

" Oh god, you two are going to be the enemies to lovers?" Robin pinches the bridge of her nose. Caught in the moment, you and Eddie shot her incredulous looks, both equally infuriated and puzzled. 

“Enemies to lovers? What, am I supposed to swoon now?” Eddie scoffed. " She's nothing but a little girl that needs her pussy fucked." The room exploded with silence. You and Eddie locked eyes, the air thick with tension, his words hanging like a dark cloud over the group. Anger flickered in your chest, a fire breathing life into your indignation.

“Such big words for such a boy like you, Eddie." The sting of your words wrapped around the room, silence falling heavy. Eddie’s smirk wavered for a second, surprise flickering in his dark eyes. 

“Boy? That’s all you’ve got?” 

" I don't think you even had a relationship ever in your life, Eddie. Did you ask someone out and they looked at you and said, no thanks, he's garbage? Oh poor you, " you taunted. Eddie’s expression darkened, the smirk faltering before vanishing entirely. A flicker of hurt glimmered in his eyes, but he quickly masked it with a scowl.

“Wow, real original there.” He crossed his arms. 

" Let me guess, you find some girl in a bar or somewhere and take them to your unmade, unwashed sheets of a bed and fuck them with your little dick until they leave and your back to square one..." Eddie’s jaw tightened, the tension in his body palpable. A flicker of something shattered in his gaze—was it anger, embarrassment? You couldn’t tell.

“Wow, real clever.” He stepped forward, invading your space, shadows playing as he towers over you. You had to admit, he looked really hot right now. 

" Bite me" you looked at him with a sneer. Eddie leaned in closer, the intensity of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. “Maybe I will.” The words rolled off his tongue, a dangerous blend of challenge and flirtation. 

" If the two of you are going to fuck, please let us leave first " Steve whined. Laughter erupted once more, cutting through the thick tension that hung like fog between you and Eddie. The absurdity of the moment seeped back into your bones, laughter bubbling up unexpectedly. Steve’s face morphed into mock horror, eyes wide as he coverd his ears.

" You two are disgusting staring at each other like your ripping each others clothes off" Mike shivered in disgust. Eddie stepped back, amusement dancing in his eyes, a smirk returning to his lips. “What can I say? It’s a hot vibe we got going.” He playfully flexed his arms.

" As If I ever would sleep with him" you scoweld. " I don't sleep with small dickheads who reek of cigarettes and doesn't know what clean sheets are. Eddie’s laughter faded, a flicker of something sharper taking its place. “Clean sheets don’t do much good if they’re just going to end up in a pile on the floor.” He shifted, crossing his arms. 

" What? Are you poet now? Are going to lay down the lines now?" Eddie leaned back against the wall, arms crossed tightly, smirk returning with a hint of daring. “I could be. Got me all inspired, sweetheart.” He raised his eyebrows, a playful glint in his dark eyes.

" Look at yourself, Eddie. Your hair looks like it hasn't been brushed for days. You have drool in the corner of your mouth from looking at me too long" you flipped your hair with a smirk, " you reek and you have mud on your shoes." 

Eddie's smirk faltered for a brief second, and behind those dark eyes, you could catch a flicker of something—something like confusion, maybe hurt. But he masked it quickly, a defensive armor sliding back into place. 

" At least I don't talk too much and use my mouth for other activities" he smirks. 

" Ew! We are still here, you know?" Dustin groaned. " Eddie, I know your old and stuff but please.. " Dustin’s voice pulled the sharp tension from the room like a stubborn thorn, easing the simmering pressure for a fleeting moment. Eddie rolled his eyes, leaning back against the wall, an exaggerated sigh escaping his lips.

" Old? I have a stamina of a race horse. Just because I have few greay hairs, doesn't mean shit.." Eddie says. “Right, and I bet that ‘stamina’ is all in your head,” you retort, raising an eyebrow. Eddie steps forward, a dangerous glint in his eye. “Care to test that theory, princess?” 

" Again. We are in the room!" Steve shouts. " We don't need to hear you two." You roll your eyes at Steve, heart racing from the escalating tension. Eddie’s gaze remains locked on yours, an electric current buzzing in the air. 

Eddie hungrily looks at you, licking his lips. The heat in the room escalates, crackling with unspoken tension as you both stand toe to toe, unyielding and defiant.

" It's like we can smell you two. Sexual tension" Mike says. " Disgusting." The interruption seemed to spark another wave of laughter, but it simmered beneath the surface like an unspoken truth, charging the air between you and Eddie with an electric energy. 

" He smells like a trash can, no way he's getting near my bed or close to touching me." Eddie feigned a gasp, his hand clutching at his heart as if you’d dealt a mortal blow. “Trash can? Ouch, sweetheart. That’s cold.” 

" Go take a shower! A cold one at that!" Eddie squints, pretending to reel from your words, hand clutching his chest dramatically. “A cold shower? You’re trying to torture me now, Y/N?”

“Just trying to spare the world from your stench,” you shoot back. "God knows where your hands have been.." Eddie feigns horror, hands flying to his temples as if you’ve delivered a lethal blow. “My hands? Sweetheart, I’ll have you know they’re pristine. I only touch the finest things… like my guitar and—”

“NO! no need to hear anything anymore!" Dustin shouted putting his hands up. " I"m leaving, I don't know about you guys" he pointed to Mike, Steve and Robin. Dustin pushed through the door, shaking his head as he exited. “I can’t deal with this high school drama. I’m out!” 

“Yeah, good luck unpacking,” Steve called after him, barely containing his laughter. Robin follows knocking her shoulders into you, " I suggest you give Munson a bath yourself " she smirks. You chuckle, brushing her off with a light shove. “As if I’d waste my time on that.” The playful banter lingers, but the thick scent of unresolved tension still hangs in the air.

" You two are disgusting " Mike says. “Goodbye, Mike.” Eddie fires back, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he slides off the wall, an amused smirk etched across his face.

Eddie turns back to look at you as he stares at you with hunger and lust in his eyes. 

" Why are you looking at me, like that?" Eddie’s smirk falters slightly, surprise flickering across his dark gaze. 

“Like what?” he shoots back, defensiveness lacing his words, but the edge of tension still crackled between you two. 

“Like you’re about to devour me" Eddie leaned closer, the heat of his presence enveloping you as he tilted his head slightly, perplexity mingling with amusement in his eyes. “Maybe I am,” he murmured, his voice dropping low, teasing. 

" Eddie.." you warned. Eddie stepped even closer, the air thickening between you like a taut string ready to snap. “What’s wrong, Y/N? Afraid of a little... touch?” His smirk widened, each word laced with mischief.

“ Get your hands away from me" Eddie stepped closer, the space between you a charged battleground. His dark eyes glinted with mischief as he leaned forward, the scent of cigarettes and something inherently Eddie swirling around you. 

"Come on, don’t be scared," he says. 

" I'm warning you"Eddie leans in closer, just barely brushing against you, the energy between you crackling like electricity. “Warning me? What are you going to do? Call your biker buddies?” 

" I know karate" Eddie chuckles, the sound low and teasing, “Karate? You? Sweetheart, I’d pay to see you try.” 

“Try me, Munson.” Your voice trembles with defiance; the air between you thickens. 

His hand shoots out to brush your hair but before he does, you have hsi wrist in a tight grip. His wrist feels warm under your fingers, solid and unyielding. Eddie raises an eyebrow, surprise flaring in his dark gaze. 

" I told you" you challenged. “Damn,” he murmurs, a hint of admiration mixed with amusement dancing in his eyes. The gentle thrill of your defiance makes the corner of his mouth twitch upwards, like a wildfire igniting. 

" Let go," he pushes, but with all your strengh you push him towards you looking at him. " I warned you. Back off." Eddie's gaze flickers with a mix of surprise and intrigue. You maintain the pressure, holding his wrist firm, your hearts beating in unison, the space between charged like a live wire. 

“Wow,” he breathes. " You're something else, sweetheart." His admiration shoots through the air like a bolt of lightning, striking a nerve deep within. You hold his gaze, a mixture of defiance and thrill bubbling inside you. 

" Maybe you should think twice before challenging me" 

Eddie hums, smirking. 

" Fiesty" Eddie's smirk deepens, eyes gleaming with mischief. 

“Feisty? That’s rich coming from someone who’s about to get his wrist twisted off,” you challenge. 

" You're too cute thinking you can take me down. I'm stronger, older and faster." A sly smile curved your lips, unwavering. “Stronger? Maybe. Older? Definitely. Faster?” 

Eddie leaned in closer, his breath brushing against your cheek, a teasing smile barely contained. “I’ve got you there, sweetheart."

You gasp how close he is, scrunching his nose pushing his head away. 

" You reek" Eddie flinches back slightly, feigning mock offense, but the gleam in his dark eyes reveals his amusement. “Reek? This is the scent of a rockstar, princess. A scent of a real man, not like Harrington smelling like a laundry basket." You scoff, unable to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks. “Right, because we all want to smell like smoke and bad decisions.”

" You like me.." Eddie’s smirk widened, triumph glowing in his eyes. “See? You’re already starting to admit it.” 

“Admit what?” You shot back, crossing your arms defensively, though a smile threatened to break your facade. 

" You're into me, all of this" he points to himself. You huffed, arms crossed, but frustration battled amusement in your chest. 

“Please. This is hardly a fair trade—smoke and tattoos for sunshine and charm,” you retorted, an eyebrow raised defiantly. 

" I like my guys bigger and rougher" you add with a smirk.Eddie's laughter rang out, rich and unexpected, filling the air like music. “Is that so? Guess I must be lacking then, huh?” He straightened, feigning disappointment but the glimmer in his eyes danced with mischief.

" Guess so, grandpa" you teased. Eddie feigned a gasp, hand clutching his chest as if wounded. "Grandpa? Wow, that’s harsh. How do you even know I didn’t just fight the Grim Reaper last night for my youth?" 

" Because Eddie, you look like you lost a few battles" Eddie feigned a wounded expression, clutching his chest as if you’d delivered a lethal blow. “Lost? I fought the good fight, sweetheart. Just because I came out with a few more scars doesn’t mean I didn’t win.”

" I have deeper scars" you let his wrist go, looking away. Your gaze drifted to the cluttered floor, the assortment of boxes and memories strewn about like fragments of a jigsaw puzzle. Eddie noticed the shift, the flicker of vulnerability creeping back into your eyes. 

“ Sweetheart.." Eddie’s voice softened, the bravado slipping away, revealing a glimpse of understanding. He stepped closer, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that felt electric, almost grounding.

“Everyone has scars,” he said, his tone now measured, " but you're alive and here standing arguing with me and bantering, flirting with me." "Alive," you echoed, the word tasting bitter on your tongue. Eyes on the floor, you couldn’t shake the weight of the past. 

“Yeah, you are,” he pressed, stepping closer again, the space between you shrinking. He brushes your hair away, " I"m not a bad guy. But I am not going to let you get too close and treat me like I'm not a human being.." Your gaze flicked up to meet his, the intensity of his dark eyes holding you captive. 

" You're hiding yourself under the tattooes, the scars you say you have, the cigarettes, the music, all of it. " you tell him.

Eddie’s smirk faltered, his eyes glinting with something deeper, a flicker of vulnerability nestled beneath his typical bravado. “Hiding? Maybe,” he said quietly, the weight of his admission hanging in the air. 

" I bet if you cleaned up better, girls will like you" Eddie's brow furrowed, a flash of defensiveness igniting in his eyes. “Girls? Really? You think that’s all it takes?” 

" You would get your wrinkyl dick working" you chuckled.Eddie blinked, surprise flaring in his eyes before he burst into laughter, the sound rich and infectious. “Wrinkly dick? That’s a new one. You’re truly creative, Y/N.”

“ I mean your older than me, grandpa" you teased. Eddie rolled his eyes dramatically, able to switch from defensiveness to affected dismay with the flick of a wrist. “Older? Psh, I’m practically timeless. Can’t put a price on experience.” 

“ How many times you had sex then?" you asked, " Twice?" Eddie threw his head back, laughter erupting, rich and deep. “Twice? You’re cute, sweetheart.” 

“Cute? Wow, thanks for the compliment,” you shot back, crossing your arms. " I know your into me, Munson. That's why your still here.." "Into you, huh?" Eddie leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, a playful smirk curling his lips. “Right, because it’s not total agony standing in the same room as you.” 

“ I'd have you fall to your knees and you know it" The tension in the air shifted, electrifying the space between you. Eddie's smirk faltered for just a heartbeat before morphing into a mock challenge, his brow arching as he stepped forward. “You think so, huh? Pretty thing like you think I'm that easy?" “Easy? Hardly. I just think you’re all talk, Munson,” you replied, holding your ground, each word dripping with playful defiance.

" Oh, sweetheart. Don't play this game. Don't" Eddie closed the distance with a bold step, the smirk on his face morphing into something dangerously playful, eyes glimmering with mischief. “You’re really going to challenge me? This game you're playing? Because I play to win and I get it if you scared..." 

" I'm not scare of you" Eddie's smirk deepened, a glimmer of mischief lighting his dark eyes. “Is that so? Then why don’t we put your bravado to the test?” He stepped closer, his presence stealing the air between you.

“I think I got it..." you mumble, " You're afraid to fall in love..." you gasped. Eddie’s laughter faded, his expression shifting as the weight of your words settled between you like a heavy blanket. The playful energy morphed into something tenser, more fragile.

“Love?” he echoed, disbelief threading through his voice. “ that's stupid." Eddie scoffed, waving a dismissive hand as if your words were a filthy habit to be brushed away. “Love is just another way of getting yourself hurt.”

" Whatever helps you sleep at night" you shrugged. Eddie’s jaw clenched subtly, a flicker of something softening in his dark eyes. He stepped back, breaking eye contact for a moment, the tension coiling tighter between you like a winding thread ready to snap. 

“You think I want the puppy mushy love stuff?" Eddie asked. His voice was a low growl, underlined with an edge of frustration as he ran a hand through his messy hair, careless and wild. 

“Love is about connection and understadning-" Eddie cuts you off. " It's bullshit" he says. “Bullshit?” You echoed, incredulous. “You think it’s bullshit to feel something genuine?” 

Eddie’s eyes flickered with something unspoken, a fire behind his bravado. “Yeah, because it makes you weak." 

" Who hurt you?" You leveled your gaze at him, the question hanging in the air like a fragile thread. 

Eddie bristled, his facade cracking just slightly. “What are you? My therapist?” He shoved his hands into his pockets. 

" Your parents? Friends? High school crush?" Eddie’s eyes hardened, and he straightened, the carefree demeanor quickly replaced by a guarded shell. 

“Does it matter?” he asked, voice low. “Everyone has baggage. I don’t need to unpack mine for you, sweetheart.”

" So it's one of those" you nodded, understanding. “Good to see you get it.” His tone dripped with defiance, but the crack in his armor remained visible—a bittersweet reminder of the façade he wore.

" Do you ever let anyone in?" Eddie’s expression darkened, a mask of defiance shielding whatever fragility simmered beneath. “In? What does that even mean? Letting people in means inviting trouble.” 

" Don't you want connection? To be understood?" Eddie’s gaze flickered, uncertainty glinting behind his usual bravado. “You’re painting a pretty picture, sweetheart. But it’s hard to want a connection when everyone around you turns into lies,” he replied, a hint of bitterness.

" You really think everyone is out to get you, Eddie.." Eddie shifted, his expression flickering like shadows in dim light. “Not out to get me, no. But trust issues? I've got ‘em.” He leaned back against the wall, arms crossing tightly over his chest like a fortress under siege.

" Something we both have in common" you started to chip at your nail polish.“Common ground, huh?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, skepticism lacing his voice. “What does that even mean for you? You just moved here, and we barely know each other. What could we possibly share?”

" Music, banter, a good conversation, understanding, a rough past, parents that were shit...." His brow furrowed, surprise painting his features. “So we’re both a couple of misfits, huh? You think that’s enough to build some sort of bond?” 

" You're scared to get hurt as much as I am too" Eddie's gaze flickered, something raw threading through his bravado as he stared back at you. “Scared? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking for some buddy system.” 

" I'm not asking for frienship" Eddie’s brow furrowed, a mixture of confusion and intrigue washing over his features. “What then? A fleeting moment? A couple of laughs between two broken souls?” His voice dipped into a lower register, laced with an edge that

" Maybe.. someone to drink with when you can't sleep, someone to sit in silence with.." Eddie's expression softened for a moment, his bravado slipping. “You think I want someone sitting in my silence?” He pushed off the wall, challenging yet inviting.

“Why not?” you replied, your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside. “Sometimes silence is louder than words. It can soothe the chaos, even if just for a moment.”

Eddie sighs as he shakes his head, " You don't understand, kid.." The air thickened between you, charged with unspoken truths. Eddie’s gaze hardened like stone, but behind the wall, you caught glimmers of vulnerability.

“Kid? Am I really that young to you?” Your voice dripped with playful sarcasm.

" You have that sparkle in your eye still, you're young... and too young to play with me.." Eddie says as his eyes flash something in them. “Play with you? Is that what this is to you, Munson?” you quirked an eyebrow, folding your arms defiantly. The earlier tension felt like a tightly wound spring, ready to snap at any moment.

Eddie chuckles, " I'm not going to end up fucking you.." You scoff, arms folding tighter against your chest, “Is that so? So you think I’m just another notch on your belt, huh?” 

Eddie’s smirk loses its edge, the flicker of mischief in his eyes.

" Sweetheart, I have more expirence than you. I know what I'm doing, have you even sucked a cock before?" You scoff, heart racing at the boldness of his question. “And you think that’s all there is to it? Just some stupid experience points?” 

“I’m just saying, if you want to play, play smart,” Eddie replies, " and if you don't, then don't waste my time." Your heart thudded, each beat echoing in the charged silence between you. “Waste your time? Is that what this is to you—a game?” 

Eddie leaned back against the doorframe, the tension coiling around you both like a plague. 

" You're difficult, you know?" He opens the door. The door creaked open, framing Eddie like a chaotic storm on the other side, hair tousled and mouth curling in a teasing smirk, but his eyes glimmered with something deeper—a raw honesty attempting to break through the playful veneer.

“ Are you really not going to let me see you behind the curtain?" Eddie chuckles, " You think there is one?" 

" I think you're pretty good at hiding yourself but your too scared of the world and the people that care about you" Eddie's expression hardened, his facade tipping dangerously close to crumbling. "Scared? You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Then show me," you challenged, stepping forward, watching as his bravado flickered before your eyes.

" Show me the real Eddie Munson" Eddie hesitated, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his features as he weighed your challenge. The charged atmosphere thickened, each heartbeat echoing in the space between you. 

He scratches his head, " You don't want to deal with me, sweetheart. " “I might surprise you,” you countered, your tone steady, eyes locked with his, daring him to back down. 

" Why do you want to?" He asked. "Because I know there’s more beneath all that bravado," you responded, stepping a little closer, testing the boundaries as the air thickened with anticipation. “Everyone has layers, Eddie. You can’t hide behind attitude and tattoos forever.”

[wisteria-lodge]

Guys who Cry in the Harry Potter Books (and Why)

Men do 30% of the crying in the Harry Potter books, even though they represent 66% of the characters (and that's pretty much as expected).* I’m interested in why the crying happens though, and what it says about the characters. For the ladies, crying is neutral - they all cry, and for all sorts of reasons (tired, frustrated, stressed, emotionally overwrought...) Bellatrix, Augusta Longbottom, Ginny, Tonks… all cry. *Hermione* cries thirty separate times over the course of the books. 

Male crying though, that's something that gets mocked (usually by Slytherins.) Pansy calls Neville a “fat little cry baby,” and after Rita’s article (falsely) describes Harry crying, Draco comes in with “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” Of course there’s also “D’you think [Hagrid]’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s - ” right before Hermione slaps him. So making fun of guys for crying is bad right? 

Let’s get into it. 

1 : Crying because of a death

The most “acceptable” reason for male crying. This happens a lot, we are definitely not supposed to think any less of the guys who do it. Mostly it happens *right* at the moment of death, or maybe at the funeral. The exception is Harry, who cries in Book 3 after talking about hearing his parents dying (although the narrative voice DOES let us know that he’s kind of embarrassed about this...)

“Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.” 

Then he cries again in Book 7, while visiting his parents' graves. But it’s definitely still crying over a death. Just one that Harry takes a little bit longer to process. 

Crying over a Death: Full Breakdown: 

Amos Diggory: 1 (Cedric’s death) 

Arthur Weasley: 1 (Fred’s death)

Harry Potter: 3 (Hedwig, Lily, James)

Rubeus Hagrid: 4 (Dumbledore, Buckbeak, Aragog, Harry) 

Argus Filtch: 1 (thinks Mrs. Norris is dead) 

Xenophillius Lovegood: 1 (thinks Luna is dead) 

Fillius Flitwick: (thinks Ginny is dead) 

Ron Weasley: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral) 

Elphias Doge: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral

2: Crying because of Pain

You’d think this one would also be acceptable. But… it really isn’t? Dudley cries when Vernon hits him (but Harry doesn’t.) Peter Pettigrew cries when he cuts off his own hand, Saw style, but it gets framed as blubbering weakness. Pettigrew framed SO pathetically for the entire resurrection scene - and honestly, for the entire rest of the series.

(Which is strange when you think about it. Like objectively, Pettigrew did GOOD. Sure he only likes Voldemort because he’s powerful, but so do most of the Death Eaters, that’s nothing special. Peter found Voldemort, resurrected him single-handedly (ha.) Found Bertha Jorkins,  i.e. the reason Voldemort was able to plan his comeback. Obviously he has god-tier bluffing and lying abilities, as well as enough willpower to cut off a limb. Being able to turn into a rat would make him a really useful spy. Also his spell, the one that killed thirteen muggles and destroyed a street? Most magic we see does not have a blast radius like that. Either he’s extremely powerful, or he somehow rigged the whole street up to blow beforehand? Maybe he planted magical bombs everywhere, and triggered them after luring Sirius to the right place. Either way, Peter’s formidable. But somehow his job is to hang out and be Snape’s servant? (Is it because he’s not cute?  Is this JKR’s fatphobia rearing its ugly head? Unclear.)

Our last guy crying in pain is Book 1 Neville, after he breaks his wrist during flying lessons. He also “sniffs,” while walking into the Forbidden Forest for detention, which *might* count as crying? But really, Neville cries surprisingly little. We get a lot of “looked as though he might cry” and “on the verge of tears”... but that's not actually crying. And I think that’s because… early-books Neville, yes we’re supposed to see him as a little pathetic. But definitely not as pathetic as Dudley or Pettigrew. 

3: “Childlike” Crying

Sometimes the people who cry are literally little boys. This is also okay. No one is going to judge infant Harry for crying when Voldemort is in the house, or little Severus for crying when his parents are fighting. Interestingly, when Myrtle is talking about Draco crying in her bathroom, Harry assumes she’s talking about someone much younger: 

“There’s been a boy in here crying?” said Harry curiously. “A young boy?” 

But of course, when an adult is crying in a childlike way, it immediately becomes… pathetic. Again we have Pettigrew, who “burst into tears. It was horrible to watch: He looked like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.” In the Horcrux cave, crying Dumbledore is described “like a child dying of thirst.” Which is also meant to be pathetic, but in more of a ‘Harry has to be the adult now’ sort of way. Also, the potion seems to have made Dumbledore mentally regress back to his youth, so it’s *closer* to a literal “child crying” moment. 

(I considered putting Dumbledore drinking the potion in the ‘pain’ section, but at least in the book I think it’s clear he’s mostly in emotional rather than physical pain.)

Where this gets messy is with the house-elves. House-elves are not children, but they are presented as childlike. They are small and in-your-face, direct even though their problem-solving tends to be very convoluted/not especially logical. I like the present-tense, no pronouns way they speak, but I can’t deny it is kind of baby-talk adjacent. And… house elves are *really* emotional. Dobby, Kreacher (and Winky) cry a LOT. If I had to guess, I would say JKR likes treating house-elves as childlike so it’s more of a surprise when it turns out that one of them was behind everything. But considering that they are slaves, it is gross considering that one of the main real-world justifications for slavery was ‘slaves are childlike, and unable to take care of themselves.'

There’s also Hagrid. With seventeen separate instances of crying, Hagrid easily cries more than any other guy in the Harry Potter books. And… well… he’s also presented as oddly childlike. He seems much more like Harry and Ron’s contemporary than a peer of the other professors - which is weird, since  if he went to school with Voldemort fifty years ago, he’s in his sixties now. But still, he’s helpless in the face of criticism, he’s comically out of his depth whenever he deals with the Ministry, he’s constantly letting things slip or drastically misjudging danger levels. The first three books use “Hagrid gets in trouble, the gang has to bail him out” as a plot point, and in Book 4 his sideplot with Madame Maxime gets treated like a schoolboy’s first crush, with all these jokes about him wearing suits that don’t quite fit, and trying and failing to style his hair. Not to mention, we know she’s flattering him because she wants insider info on the Tournament. But he doesn’t know that. 

4. Crying because of Sports

Oliver Wood cries when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup. That's all.

And that brings us to our stragglers. The only non-childlike guys who cry for reasons other than death, pain, or sports are as follows: 

Harry Potter: 1 instance of crying

Draco Malfoy: 2 instances of crying

Severus Snape: 2 instances of crying

Albus Dumbledore: 4 instances of crying

Horace Slughorn: 1 instance of crying

Let’s see what’s going on here. 

Harry Potter

Dumbledore had weakened himself by drinking that terrible potion for nothing. Harry crumpled the parchment in his hand, and his eyes burned with tears as behind him. Fang began to howl. He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent hot tears spilling from his eyes

There’s a lot going on in this moment: Harry is tired, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. But even though it is a complex moment, probably the main emotion is still Harry’s attempt to process Dumbledore’s death, now that he finally has a second to do so. So this honestly could have gone in the “Crying because of a death” category. It’s just different enough that I want to specially call it out. 

Draco Malfoy

We hear about Draco crying once from Myrtle, and then see it first hand: 

Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

The narrative takes a second to let us know that he was ACTUALLY CRYING, just to hammer in that this is something unexpected and not-normal. I think I want to attribute Draco’s tendency to cry - and cry because he’s overwhelmed, scared, lonely - to the character’s slight femme coding. What can I say, he cries for ""girly"" reasons. And so does Snape!

Severus Snape 

“Snivellus” is clearly a nickname meant to evoke the idea of “crybaby,” since “sniveling” is a synonym for crying. We also get this: 

Snape was kneeling in Sirius’s old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. 

Crying over Lily’s letter could count as crying over a death… but since he’s crying over a letter, not over a grave or her body (like in the movie), I’m going to say that he’s probably crying because of guilt, emotional overload, or love (especially because he rips the ‘love Lily’ off the end of that letter.) Like Draco, Snape might be getting little bit of femme-coding here. He’s the mean-girl type of bully (versus the mean boy) He cries, he threatens to poison people, which is something we only see women (and Draco) actually doing in these books. Idk, he’s an odd one who JKR clearly has very complicated feelings about. 

Albus Dumbledore 

I was actually really surprised that Dumbledore cries as much as he does, and at such unusual times! He cries when he sees Snape’s doe patronus - because of love or just because he’s emotionally overwhelmed. He cries all through the Horcrux cave, primarily because of guilt. He cries twice during the King’s Cross Station vision-quest, once because of his complicated feelings about Harry while he asks for forgiveness, and once over … Grindlewald.

“They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends . . . to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow . . .”  “. . . or maybe from breaking into your tomb?” suggested Harry, and Dumbledore dabbed his eyes.

And okay. JKR announced that Dumbledore was gay just a few months after book seven was published, and I think she was folding in deliberate queer-coding as early Book 6. My proof of that is Dumbledore's increased emotionality - as we can see, it’s pretty unusual for men to cry in the Harry Potter books because they’re feeling “softer” emotions like love, regret, stress etc. It’s something she associates with femininity, and I’m sure she associates gay guys with femininity as well (I mean, that’s a very common thing to do.)

There’s also this interesting passage from Book 6: 

This younger Albus Dumbledore’s long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing. “Nice suit, sir,” said Harry, before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

Now, this is subtle. Wizards out and about in the muggle world often wear unusual colors like purple and emerald green. However. That adjective flamboyantly is only used one other time in the entire series, to describe Fudge’s hand gestures. But here, it is used to describe an outfit, a purple velvet suit which is honestly a little bit Oscar Wilde. And “flamboyantly gay” … those are two words often heard together. 

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this is the only opinion about clothing Harry ever expresses aloud. And, I think @niche-pastiche hit the nail right on the head when were talking about this and they said, "'Nice suit, sir,' said Harry, before he could stop himself," is SO the response of a young adhd boy in the early 2000s trying not to say "thats gay." 

Horace Slughorn

Horace Slughorn cries at Aragog’s funeral, not really out of grief for Aragog, but mostly out of a maudlin sense of togetherness, nostalgia, and camaraderie. And… I do think we have one more slightly morally ambiguous femme-coded guy on our hands? Like Dumbledore, Slughorn is very much a flashy dresser, with shiny hair and gold buttons on his waistcoat. He loves treats and candies (hey… so does Dumbledore. They’re the only adults with a sweet tooth like that.) He loves fancy dinner parties, and is well-connected without being ambitious the way Lucius is. He also (like Draco) is aligned with pureblood-supremacy, but hyper avoidant of violence and confrontation. Except for the Harry example, I think I’d be comfortable with calling all of these last few instances “Femme-Coded Crying.” 

* Methodology - My list of 208 Harry Potter characters comes from TV Tropes, which had the most complete list. I am excluding characters from Cursed Child and the Fantastic Beasts Films. 

In order to find instances of crying, I searched for the words “cried/cry/crying” “tears” “sob” and “sniff.” I counted each crying episode as one, even if crying was brought up multiple times throughout the scene. I made the fairest call I could whenever I hit a “the crying intensified” or the “the tears restarted,” but I mostly judge pretty conservatively when I’m ringing up data.

[pomefioredove]

Ah

Was going over the voicelines and references and aaa it's so fun

I think i found the snippets that were good fodder for vilyuu. some of them from the post that goes into depth for vilyuu this one -> the link ( https://jasminetl.lofter.com/post/1d5363f0_2b4c8f58d )

These ones are fun

From the camping event, outdoor wear

I know I'm beautiful but did you know i can be rugged too? Look how rugged i can be. <- vil really said i can do both actually. He didn't have to say that, he singled out yuu for that

Invitation for yoga and exercise by the lakeside

From beanfest (this one i might be just really intensely wanting to see but ahhh who knows)

So again, he's like " I'm not JUST pretty, look how cool and capable i am. I can even get dirty for this"

And again he's like "y'know being covered in dirt and scuffed from battle can look attractive. Don't you think that looks attractive??" <- vil why are you seeking so much approval??? Do you have something to say???

The more i look through the voicelines (between him and Yuu) and in other events the more i find that a lot of it really does kinda boil down to "heh, isn't this cool? Do you think it's cool 👀" subtle gauging of interest type of stuff. Trying to help, to get some hang out time (usually in excuses though not always), constantly dropping those hints. It's very funny, even more so compared to how he acts with other characters in similar situations. I'm just saying that vil very much offered only prefect his cape to hide in to protect from ghosts, and didn't really offer as such to any. He's Definitely more likely to get irked by someone else asking for his time than prefect lol.

Anyways thought to drop this in to the ask box due to that last post about vilyuu week and just like for funsies

look at this man.

he wants them so bad it makes him look stupid /ref

I think it's delightful how he has 10 billion fans and a live-in hype man but he still purposefully seeks out approval from Yuu. which could mean nothing.

I read a lot of voice lines on the wiki when I'm trying to develop a character's voice and his definitely stand out because. hmmmmm 🤨

touch

vil has mixed reactions to being touched (by yuu), I suspect a part of that is just being overwhelmed from time-to-time

like this:

"I know you want me to pay more attention to you, but it will have to wait. I'm very busy at the moment."

(okay but notice how he he doesn't say no. he says later. okayyyy mr schoenheit. making room in the schedule for your little angel huh. I see how it is)

other times he's okay with it:

"Ah, but of course. Given my radiant allure, I can hardly fault your overwhelming desire to touch me."

and other times he ASKS(!!!) yuu to touch him:

"The placement of a single hair can greatly affect the outcome of a photo. Could you fix this for me?"

>_> I'm just saying.

obvious flirting (and banter)

not including the obvious ploys for yuu's attention which he does CONSTANTLY (as you have shown in your ask!) there's a lot of. uh

"Is it the dorm uniform that leaves you smitten, or is it I? Heh..."

"Admiration nurtures the seed of beauty. By all means, fall for me."

"Unfortunately for you, you have nowhere else to turn. So you'd best resign yourself to becoming my thrall."

"I will sink my fangs right into you."

I KNOW this is the halloween event and he's only playing the part, but c'mon. come on. COME ON

"Trick or treat! But I'm not after your candy. Vampires are more interested in... Heh heh!"

why is he giggling.

then there's cute little bantery moments like:

"Where's MY souvenir, then? ...Oh, goodness. I was only kidding, but you actually had one for me. Why, thank you."

IDK the way he feels comfortable and friendly enough around yuu to joke with them... 🥺🥺 they make me want to chew metal

"You'd like to visit the Scalding Sands with me someday? Certainly-as long as you draw up an itinerary that won't leave me bored."

they're planning a date here actually. hello. I hate them so much (lying)

and whatever you'd call this

"You are the last person I ever expected to make me happy. That's a compliment, by the way. Thank you for your warm wishes."

THEY MAKE ME SICK. I read this in a mean way at first but now I think that's just his sick twisted version of flirting. "I never expected you would make me so happy but you do and I'm still partially in denial about it" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF

other stuff

these are like random and inconsequential, I just like them

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

this is literally just Shakespeare. does Romeo and Juliet exist in this universe or did he come up with that. crazy thing to say either way

anyway yeah. these are taken out of context and such so there's other stuff going on but you get my point. the OTP

[thomine]

i care more to be loved : kaveh

pair: kaveh / reader info: general audiences, consumption of alcohol (mentioned in passing), off-screen kiss scene, nonlinear narrative (numbering system in place to help make sense of time but scenes are intentionally in that order), dysfunctional relationship, canon compliant, angst (with a hopeful ending?), not proofread

summary: you don't believe you found love but you found kaveh. that's close to love, right?

word count: 5.4k links: read on ao3 / work tag notes: um. not i'm not really back from hiatus. yes that's a little women (2019) quote. you may read the author's commentary for more info.

ONE.

There should be a word to describe those like you who withdraw from social gatherings. You don't hate people so you aren't anti-social, and it's not like you don't hang out with others—forming connections is your job. You are the guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. There are just some days you cannot bring yourself to keep up, and today is one of them. While your social circle is partying at Lambard's Tavern, you sneak out of your house into the forest beside Sumeru City with a small container of snacks and some textile. A lonely picnic it will be, but loneliness is not the issue here. Neither is hunger, but you have to keep yourself occupied.

You find a comfortable spot under shade with a beautiful view of the setting sun and lay out a shoddy sheet of straw before placing a mat over it. It's a cloth given to you by your mother after scoring well, although her face when you declared you weren't joining the Akademiya made you feel she regretted getting you anything in the first place. This mat does cost a lot so you keep it pristine to honour her efforts.

The container that keeps your food warm is also a gift, one you bought yourself after years of eyeing it through windows. It is nicer when it is on display, but you don't regret buying it. It is practical and you'll give credit to where its due despite the miscellaneous inconveniences in its design.

Once you've settled in a comfortable spot facing west, you watch as the last light of the day diminishes. This is—what you like to believe—a refuge, but your worries never cease to leave you. You wonder what your friends are doing at the tavern. Probably drinking their life away while jostling and cheering. Having fun. Playing games. Enjoying the atmosphere. Putting their best foot forward.

For love.

Like artists musicians that decorate the streets on festive nights, awaiting tips and change to drop into their hats.

As your brain depressingly quips with itself, you can't hear footsteps from behind. It is only when a shadow covers you that you take note you are not alone, and also realise you have been crying.

"I hope I'm not disturbing?" the uninvited voice asks, gently. When you turn (after wiping your tears as discretely as you can), you meet a blonde man with warm eyes made even warmer with the shine of sunset. He kneels to meet you at eye level as you present your business smile. "I saw your mat and I was wondering where did you get it?"

"Oh, this?" You stand, uncomfortable with his gesture of kneeling to meet your gaze. You wear your shoes and step off the object he's interested in so he has a full view. "It was imported from Inazuma. They sell the finest textiles so I'm not surprised it caught your attention. Want to try sitting on it? Oh, but please take off your sandals."

The man seems to be half-listening as he straightens. You wonder if your eyes are puffy to give away your earlier misery, but other than his intrepid stare directed at you, he's fixed on the mat.

"And how much would it cost? Are you still in contact with the merchant? Wait, before we continue let me introduce myself." He extends his hand for a handshake. "I'm Kaveh, an architect. I'm building a large mansion nearby and will also be in-charge of designing its interior. Such a mat would look wonderful among the furniture I plan to get."

You look around, unsure why you haven't seen any construction. Was it approved or is this guy just lofty? Regardless, you exchange pleasantries. After giving your name, you add, "I'm afraid I do not have the particulars of the merchant. My mother bought this for me"—you hope you don't look constipated—"but we are not in contact so I can't help you trace the mat's source."

"A pity," he says, shoulder slouching. "Sumeru textiles would work but I really like this design."

Again, it's not that you dislike people, but you really want to be alone right now. You look at the mat, memories of a distant past weigh heavy in your throat. It would be nice to say goodbye to it once and for all.

"You can have it." Grabbing the edges, you fold the textile as he gawks. "I don't use it other than as a mat when I'm outside—which isn't frequent. Hearing what you have planned, you'll make better use of it. I'll just get another one."

"But this is from your mother, isn't it? Wouldn't you want to keep it for that reason alone?"

You pass the rolled up mat to him with a lopsided smile. "Oh, it's just a mat to me. Don't worry about it and don't think too much of this. See you."

You then pick up your barely touched food and trudge back home before he can reject your offer.

⠀

⠀

TWO.

You hear someone call your name. It's your name, yes, but still unfamiliar on the tongue of this person. The first thought that comes to you is that it is a client, but clients don't address you by your name. Only your nickname. That's how you differentiate your personal and professional circles. All personal connections eventually mix with your profession, so they handle your name like experts. Vowels and consonants wrapped in a specific tone. This is fairly… friendly.

There was someone you met recently… you try to recall that moment but it doesn't appear until you are face to face with a blonde man with warm eyes.

Ah, Kaveh.

To his luck, you are chirpier than when he last met you. With energy to perform, you smile brightly and greet him, although your pronunciation is off as one would for new names. He doesn't seem to mind though.

"Glad to bump into you," he huffs while leaning over, supporting his upper body with hands on his knees. You let out a small laugh.

"I wouldn't call you running to greet me as bumping into me."

"Don't take it the wrong way, I wasn't stalking you or anything. I just saw you walk down this street and thought I'd say hi."

This man is puzzling. First, he claims to be building something large near where you were seated, and yet with your purview of the land you see not a single construction. Then, he runs towards you just to say hi. Is saying hi to someone you barely know that important?

"Well, um, hello then," you say, extending an arm for an awkward handshake. "How's your project so far?"

"It's…" he clears his throat. "The mat you gave me was perfect. I should really thank you. Should we have a meal together? My treat."

"No need to treat. I just had lunch with my friends. I was heading back, actually."

"Do you stay nearby?"

"Relatively close. What about you?"

"Um, I stay nearby as well."

Something is definitely up with this guy.

"Is there anything else?" you ask as you place your hands on your hips. "I'm sure you're busy yourself."

"Let me treat you at least once. Whenever you're free."

You don't understand why he's so insistent, but it reminds you of desperate clients even more desperate to keep their business afloat. They always have something to offer in hopes it can gain them something of greater value. Not that you are great at weighing these deals, but emotionally, you play this game everyday. Perhaps giving him the mat was a habitual act of the same principle. You hoped giving him the mat will grow something, and this may be your chance to harvest it.

How tiring, but isn't that necessary? Condition and reward. Didn't he say he was building a mansion? You might want someone of such caliber in your books.

"I'll take up that offer for a meal, but you don't have to pay for it." You take out a paper and pen to jot your address. "Tomorrow, dinner? I'll cook."

Once again, before Kaveh can react, you make your leave. You dissolve into the crowded street, wondering what will bloom from this.

⠀

⠀

FIVE.

You still don't know where Kaveh lives after a year, but he surely knows how to make your house like his own. You did not expect to have common interests, and his philosophies intrigue you enough to not be bored. When he doesn't appear on Fridays, you are surprised, but even then you don't push for details or a reason the next time he comes over. His life is his life and yours is yours.

You know he keeps his secrets such as details of the project (which grants him highs and lows, as all things do) while you keep your worries private. To meet him more frequently means nothing, at least that's what you believe.

"What are we?" Kaveh asks one quiet evening as you tear through your dinner. He has become such a staple in your life silence feels comfortable. His question, however, rips the atmosphere like you and your meal. You tongue feels heavy as your mind replay scenes that happened last week. He tried to bring it up once too, but the moment you expressed discomfort, he surrendered. It seems the water in the kettle has finally reached its boiling point.

"What do you mean? What else can we be?"

"Do friends really do what we do?" he probes. You give him a quizzical look, daring him to be clear. "Are you going to deny our kiss last week?"

"You stayed over and we got drunk. That's all that happened." You bite your lips. You had hoped the weekend would mean he would forget everything somehow. "You were lonely. I was lonely. That's all there is to it."

"So the kiss meant nothing." He looks forlorn, slouching in his chair as his legs sprawl under the table, as if he's as exhaled like a flattened balloon. "Why do you do this to me?" he asks, voice wavering. "Are my feelings for you not clear?"

You place your cutlery down and wipe your mouth. You lost your appetite. "I'm not here to discuss this. I'm going to go for a walk."

As you stand, so does Kaveh. He gets up with such force his chair falls back. It is a chair he bought for himself after he ruined yours. Not his fault. The chair was going to give way anyways. This chair, though, is handpicked by him to match whatever miserable mess of furniture you have. It isn't costly, but no one sits on it other than Kaveh.

He walks towards you and grabs your wrist. You flinch but do not pull away.

"You should head back home and sleep too. Maybe you just aren't in the right mind," you mumble. "You did drink yourself dead because of stress so you should rest."

"You kissed me. I can't just wake up next day and pretend everything is fine. You know how I feel about you."

"I already told you I was lonely, okay? Do you really want to be with someone who uses you because you're conveniently here? And it's not like you actually like me either."

"Why do you keep saying that? You don't know how I feel."

"I know. I know the game we play. If I didn't give you the mat that very day I would be a stranger to you even now. If I didn't show you any kindness you would have hated me. Don't you get it Kaveh? This world is based on conditions, and every condition I've set such that you'll like me. I've trapped you like a rat and I let you delude me to believing lies."

"What are you talking about?" Kaveh's voice is as scratchy as sandpaper. It doesn't sit right to see such a a pretty face this distressed. "If you say I'm stressed you must be too. Nothing from your mouth makes sense. Tell me, what's bothering you? We can work it through." He grabs your hands and intertwines his fingers with yours. A gesture you've gotten used to—indulgently. He first held your hand like this when you were sick. How comforting it was but now it repulses you, yet not enough to reject his warmth still.

"Kaveh, listen to me. The moment you don't get what you want from me, you're going to walk out of this door. You don't love me. You love the conditions I set. It is like a prey falling for a predator's tricks."

"Then say you don't love me."

You swallow.

"So by your logic the reason you kissed me is because I helped you through your loneliness. Have you wondered maybe you caused it upon yourself? You keep such a distance with your friends, they don't even know about me."

"What are you implying?"

"Maybe you do love me. You can treat me as you do with your friends. Avoid me, isolate yourself, but you invite me even to your pity parties. Can you really say I'm a prey, or am I someone who willingly walked into your den for I know you aren't the predator you believe you are."

"Kaveh, please stop. You don't know me. I'll give you away as quickly as I gave the mat. You do not want to be involved with me."

You jerk your hand out of his grasp. As usual, you leave Kaveh faster than he can react. After your hour trek through the forest you return to an empty house with an empty heart.

Pity party? Pft. You definitely don't host pity parties. The moments you choose to be away from your friends are moments you regain your energy to fight the world. It is difficult to keep having to present yourself as lovable. To have someone like Kaveh accompany you through these times means nothing.

It doesn't mean anything.

⠀

⠀

SIX.

You were right. Kaveh doesn't return the next Friday, or the Friday after that. As if you've unplugged a lifeline, he doesn't exist. You don't even see him around the streets he normally hangs around.

"You seem upset," a friend of yours say. She is the owner of a small cafe situated in the bazaar. A friend from your youth you know you have to maintain good relations with. Her coffee isn't to your liking but they have won awards. In fact, brewing coffee is not her only strength. She is good at gathering intel.

"Am I?" you force a laugh. "Must be the lack of sleep. Work has been piling up as of late."

She sips her tea as you observe the stillness of yours. Rich brown liquid. Warm to touch. Memories of Kaveh's hands wrapped around yours ignite your chest with sorrow. You swallow it with your drink.

"I heard that you seldom visit the bazaar to buy dinner," your friend inquires. Of course she will turn her tricks to you. "I'm not saying you can't get your food anywhere else, but I do recall you recommending Jut's dishes. Fast and delicious for anyone working over time."

"Have you met him? I told him of your recently opened store and he said he would drop by. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a collaboration between the two of you?"

"You know when to find a business opportunity when you see one. As expected for someone who scored well in the exams."

"You just like to flatter people, don't you? You scored even higher. My mum never shut ups about it, and I believe she'll still bring it up even now."

"But my networks aren't as wide. You truly know how to rope people with that smile of yours. Not to mention you're always too kind for your own good. Thanks for the free sponsor, by the way."

You ease a laugh, glad to have the topic changed. "Oh don't mention it. It was a discounted deal anyways." You finish your drink and decide it is time to leave, but your friend's next words hold you prisoner.

"I was wondering if you've heard of Kaveh?"

"…What about him?"

"So you do know him."

"Bumped into him once. Said he was working on a big mansion in the forest. What about him? Are you going to ask if I can help you connect with him?"

"Not really. Not professionally at least. I think he's charming… he stopped by my store once"—of course, because you told him to give her stall a try—"and was so nice. He's so pretty, don't you agree?"

You pull your head back as you force a laugh so she can't see the way your eyes wrinkle with remorse.

"If I can get in contact with him, I'll let you know. I have to go first though." You gesture to your finished drink. "Thanks for the drink."

She stands with you and edges close with arms open. You lean to give her a hug. Before she can remember to ask for anything more, you're out of the bazaar.

⠀

⠀

THREE.

You truly are a person with no qualifications other than a disappointed mother and an award-winning smile. You put on masks and play pretend, trying to inflate your credentials so others will believe you are lovable. You can be loved. You will be loved.

But what if you're just a singular person who stares at sunset with a container of home made food while you let your thoughts powered by self-deprecating rot and doubt to run wild? Will you still be lovable then? It is a question that grips you even more than death itself.

You are a beggar at the mercy of those that pass by. Your hands empty and shivering. Love me, you cry. What I give is the feeling of superiority. The feeling that you're doing something good. In return I want you to love me.

Can you really say, then, that someone will love you for who you are? Would there not be this underlying feeling that they chose you out of pity?

You know people will be at your funeral, but will it be for you?

"So you were crying the day I met you," Kaveh says as he appears from behind. You have invited him to join your picnic, but he's late and your thoughts have grown to be a beast that demands your tears. "Sorry, that's not a good entrance. I didn't mean to be a busybody."

You wipe your wet eyes, uncaring of being discrete as you have been caught. Kaveh brought along more food. He unpacks them on your new plain mat.

"No, I'm thankful you didn't say anything that day," you note. "I don't think I wanted you to point it out. Would have ruined my mood even more."

Kaveh takes the spot you've prepared for him, leaning on his hand positioned behind to get a good view of the sky. He's still a stranger—in some sense—but a very welcoming one at that. There is something about the way he treats you that makes you feel you can trust him with your secrets. Not that you will share it with him. He's only come over for dinner the past month. Your friendship with him is developing faster than you'd like, but when he does things like randomly send you letters because something reminded him of the conversation over dinner or when he buys your favourite ice cream because it was on sale and he remembered you, it's hard not to grow fond of him.

In your area of business you should return such gestures, but he somehow makes himself indebted to you. You've never have the scale balanced when it comes to him. Perhaps inviting him into your private moment is your attempt at leveling what he skewed. Maybe this is part of his greater plan—he'll count these blessings as a means to an end, but for once, you aren't doing business. It never feels like it with him.

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" he asks after a moment of silence. You shake your head. "Fair enough. Sitting down to watch the sunset is already easing my own stress."

"You really didn't have to do all of this, by the way," you motion at the food he bought and laid out. So much for trying to make things even. "I told you I was going to cook."

"But it's to celebrate!"

"Celebrate?"

"To us being friends. You've helped me so much and now you're inviting me to a picnic? Surely this means we're getting closer. Plus, look over there." He points to something in the distance. You move closer to him to see his line of view and notice bright colours poking from the canopy of the forest. "That's my project and we've finally started construction. Surely this is a moment to celebrate."

"I'm really happy for you."

You lean your head against his shoulder briefly, like a nudge. The smile on your face is small, but it's sincere.

⠀

⠀

FOUR.

Kaveh is acting strange. He is outside the door but he has yet to knock. He's mumbling things to himself and you feel tempted to open it just to scare him as a lesson to not talk to himself outside your door, but you've yet to clean the living room. He comes in like a storm and places his things everywhere. It's not that you mind though. It's just embarrassing to have him know you keep the house as he left it as evidence that you aren't alone.

Finally, his long-anticipated knock comes. You yell for him to wait as you finish the final touches and swiftly open the door. Tonight, you cooked The Endeavour in hopes to rival the one he made for you last week. It is an intricate piece of art disguised as the dish Fatteh. Only he can come up with something as extravagant as that, so you're not trying to beat him in presentation but taste.

You open the door, anticipation bursting in your eyes.

"You won't believe what I—"

"I love you and I—"

You blink, staring blanking at your favourite flowers covering your view. When you push it down to see Kaveh, his face is flushed. His eyes avoid you, and he seems to have regretted saying anything at all with the way he bites his lips.

"Did I ruin it?" he mumbles, free hand covering his face as the other pushes the bouquet into your arms, as if to say he wants you to carry the embarrassment away. "Was this bad timing?"

You gingerly take the bouquet and usher him in before he decides to run away.

"Let's… have dinner first."

You place the bouquet on the table in the living room as you bring out dinner.

"What was it you wanted to say?" Kaveh fidgets with his hands, voice strained with worry. "You sounded really excited."

"It's this," you say with less enthusiasm than you expected. "I loved what you brought me last week and I wanted to try making it too. It can't rival your presentation, but I hope it's edible."

"It's lovely." The compliment doesn't reach his eyes. Not that he doesn't believe what he's saying. They're just busy with other emotions as they intrusively search your expression. You try to keep it normal.

"Dig in," you chirp, pointing towards the dish that, when you think about it, is a poor rendition of what Kaveh gave you. "Let me know what you think."

He takes a bite and slowly the conversation buries his confession. You're back to laughing while he's rambling. The bouquet of flowers sits on the table without water—withering, if you may put it—while you and Kaveh's relationship continues to grow.

That night, you lay in bed wondering what his words mean.

What have you done?

⠀

⠀

SEVEN.

"The Palace of Alcazarzaray has been destroyed by the withering." News headline reads in bold. You stare at the paper, wondering why the name of the mansion rings a bell. You read on and you gasp when you see his name.

"…the architect, Kaveh…"

Your eyes dig into the words to extract every piece of information you can. Although he never told you the details of the project, it was undeniable how much passion and love he had for it. Talking about the project was always a gateway for him to share about his past, present, and even future. He told you of his time at the Akademiya, his parents, his dreams and aspirations. To have this project fail broke your heart knowing his has been broken.

Is that the reason he has been avoiding you? Was that the reason he arrived at your house multiple times looking worse than before? The reason he drank so much that night which you half-joked was because of the project really was the reason. Your kiss must have caused his mind to enter a flurry that pulled him under.

What have you done?

They say love does not make you think straight. Can you blame it on love or is this solely your selfish doing?

You don't wait for the answer as you scramble out of your door after grabbing your essentials. You have to find Kaveh, figure out how much he owns and how he's doing. You have to help him in one way or another if not who knows what will happen to him—

But you don't find him. He finds you instead. He's a few meters away from your door, approaching you with bloodshot eyes. You sigh, an act of relief but also concern, as you walk towards him.

"It's been long," you say after greeting him, unable to meet him in the eye. "I heard about the project. I want to help."

"No."

"What?" You raise your head and look at him, dumbfounded. "Why not? If you need money, I have some."

"I know you'll say that, but I cannot accept it."

"Why not? I don't want to see you"—you gesture towards all of him—"like this." For someone who tries to keep himself well kept, he is disheveled beyond recognition. Hair a mess, attire robbed to a plain t-shirt and pants that cover him decently. He looks pathetic, like a beggar, and who loves to see someone in such a state? Saviour complex or not, you know you can help him, and you will. "Come inside. Let's discuss it there. You look famished. I'll cook up something for you and—"

He calls your name. You still remember the first time he reached out to you on that busy street. How different your personal name was on his tongue compared to others. That friendliness has never left. In fact, it grew fonder over time. You should have noticed his feelings before he announced it, but maybe you were hoping it wasn't true. Now, he says your name dripping in tenderness and you want to scream.

Don't do this to me, you think as you drag him in your house regardless. I don't need you to remind me of your feelings. Of how I hurt you.

Once the door closes, as you're about to leave to prepare him a warm cup of coffee, he grabs your hand.

"I'm here to let you know I'm not accepting any help from you, and my feelings will remain."

"You're crazy. What are you going to—"

"You said that I only like you for your kindness, for the things you did. I'm here to let you know even if you don't show me an inch of kindness, I'll still love you."

"You shouldn't do that. That's stupid. That's illogical—"

"But it's your logic." He leans closer, almost putting his entire body weight on you. It is at this proximity you smell the faint scent of alcohol. "If I can't prove it to you with my logic then I'll have to use yours."

"You're not thinking straight. Look, Kaveh, remember the great girl who runs a coffee shop in the bazaar? She wants to meet you. She can make better coffee than me, is more beautiful and smarter. Her business is expected to skyrocket after marketing and maybe you can get your funds from her too. You'll find better, more amazing people. You shouldn't waste your time trying to prove to me that you like me. You don't even have to prove to yourself you like me."

Kaveh stays quiet. He stops moving too. You would think he is dead but you've handled a drunk Kaveh more often that you'd like to admit. Thankful he stopped his thrashing. You drag him onto the sofa and begin making preparations for when he wakes. Medicine, food, maybe some contract for him to be your roommate.

However, when he wakes, he is even more adamant on his stance, and more logical to argue for it too.

At least he drinks your coffee and eats the meal you prepared for him: a simple bowl of cream soup. He devours it almost in an instant, and you wonder how long he's not eaten. Given his new skinnier frame, you're betting at least a full day.

"I'll make seconds." You take his bowl and turn to head to the kitchen but he denies you once again by grabbing your arm. You hate how difficult it is to shake him away. You hate how a part of you is happy he wants you to stay.

"That's enough. I am not a baby. You of all people should know this."

"Yes, but in your current state? I wouldn't say so."

He releases his grip and you return to your seat. He sits upright on the sofa, a good distance away from the flowers he bought for you now kept in a small vase.

"I know you're worried about me," he starts as he rests his hands on his thigh and looks at the floor.

"Yes, it isn't a very nice situation to be in." And I probably made it worse.

"But I have a plan. The overseers of this project will not abandon it, and I sold my house but I met up with Alhaitham who I will live with in the mean time."

"See? You never know when you'll need to pull strings with people you dislike."

"I don't dislike him. At least, him as a person. Just his views of others."

You chuckle. "Same thing, isn't it? What is a person without their views? Their passions? Their aspirations? That's who they are."

"Their flaws as well." He looks at you, warm eyes intense like a burning flame. You shy away from his gaze. "Thank you for your help," he clears his throat, probably embarrassed he fell on you like that while drunk. It's not the first, and you hope it's not the last.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?"

"It's fine. I will deal with it myself and I'll show you what I mean."

Another question sits on your tongue. Will you continue to ignore me and only come to me during your drunken stupors?

But he beats you to it.

"I know this is a silly question, but why do you want to help me so badly? If you believe I was lured by your kindness, then why continue being kind to me?"

"I don't deny I'm selfish," you start as you look at the floor, tucking your feet closer to your body. "I do kind things so people are tethered to me. I don't want you to leave."

You give him a side glance, expecting some sort of disgust or distaste, but instead he looks solemn yet shocked. It's better than being judged or disgusted.

"I'm sorry, Kaveh," you whisper. "I don't think I'll ever love you the way you want me to. I don't know how that works."

"Then that's even more reason to not accept your help. I won't give up."

Silence except the ticking clock in your room. This time it's unnerving, but not in a bad way. You are aware of your breathing—chest rising up and down—while your heart rate quickens as heat gathers at your face. When did he have such an effect on you?

"Visit me even if you're in a pitiful, sorry state. Even if it's unbearable to see you the way you are right now. And even after that, when you've got your bearings, I still want to have dinner with you."

"I will be back," Kaveh announces as he stands. He smiles, satisfied.

author's note: as always thank you for making it until the end. this story came to me in a whirlwind of inspiration. whether you agree with reader's point of view or not, i do hope you come to realise that love, as tricky as it is, is also fairly simple because it is everywhere around us. it may not come in the form that we want but we shape the love we receive with our hands by changing ourselves. stay strong fellas (i am loosing my brain cells as we speak).

[ravers8fantasy]

Punch out locker room mishaps: world circuit💥🤑

The world circuit locker room would be bougie af, im talking like proper yknow

Super macho man is abbreviated to SMM cus no way am I doing allat

Sandman feels like he is baby sitting half the time because of the amount of bs that happens in the world circuit locker room

SMM has a double door locker (hell yeah) with photos of himself hanging inside of it

He calles it the 'super shrine', the other boxers think its the stupidest thing ever and soda takes the photos and puts them in the toilet cus why not

When Aran first joined no one knew what the flip he was saying, especially bald bull so he just told Aran to shut up whenever he spoke

Soda is too tall, the W.B.V.A had to install signs to the top of door frames because he kept walking into them

Sandman has watched Aran try break into his locker so many times now its become a normal sight for him

Every one is tired of Aran, bald bull has literally started a fist fight with him which ended up with Aran getting locked inside a locker for 2 hours

Sandman tried making peace between all the other boxers by making a group chat

Aran left it after bald bull kept thinking he was English, SMM thought it was a spam from crazy fan's and sent some stuff before leaving, bald bull said "fuck off" and left as soon as he saw SMM send a thirst trap and Soda was never added because he doesnt have a phone

Aran has to be searched and patted down before walking into the locker room before a match because of all his cheating scandals

When little Mac joined, Aran LOVED to not only make fun of his boxer name but also harrased him pranked him like taking his towel whilst he was using the shower and hid his stuff

Sandman made the others do a temporary alliance to beat up Aran and get poor Mac's stuff back

SMM loves the floor length mirrors in the locker room, his whole social page is full of just him flexing in that same mirror

One time he accidentally got sandman in the background looking absolutely unimpressed and it became a meme for a while

He also caught the fist fight between bald bull and aran in the background of one of his thirst traps as well

Soda's locker is full of 'juice' cartons, he doesnt need space for a gym bag because he's hidden it somewhere underneath the floor tile's somehow

Aran once head butted a wall at full force whilst trying to pick a fight with sand man

Not only did he knock himself out but he also managed to break through the dry wall and left a massive hole in the wall

Soda blasts russian hard bass/techno whilst showering and shouts the lyrics, everyone hates it.

"hell yeah bro's, I was like-

"U SO SEXY RUSSIAN GIRL Прыгай в мой фургон-танцпол"

"uh anyway yeah like as I was saying I totes like hit-

"ABSOLUT HARD BASS. RUSSIAN PARTY IN KAMAZ"

"oh now what the flip. What the flip brah thats so not cool"

Aran often crashes SMM's interviews, and shouts random things in the background (these are all being recorded by the way)

The last time it happened he shouted "OI SUPER MACHO MAN, I KNOW A SECRET ABOUT YOU MATE THAT PEOPLE MIGHT CALL A COMING OUT" (heh nikita mazepin and george russel f1 reference wait wrong fandom-)

Bull and sandman are pretty chill with eachother (on a good day which is once every couple of months), Sandman offers contructive critisism which helps Bull in the long run

Soda also gets help from sandman, Soda then tries to use the tips he heard from sandman in the ring, Soda then blacks out from drinking too much and loses

Aran makes fun of Soda's fear of horses by wearing one of those rubber horse masks (Aran is scared of flying in planes)

When Soda saw it he jumped and slapped the horse mask full force, if you know how silly it looks then you would know why bull started cackling

SMM and bald bull made a truce once, bull trapped Aran in a headlock whilst SMM took all of Aran's cheating stuff and handed it into the W.B.V.A officials

Ya cant be mad at them they were sick of getting hit in the face with his flying rope punching glove

---------------------------------------------------

Help why did I struggle sm doing this💔 thats all the locker room mishaps done, I fear this is only the beginning I have sm more planned keep grinding chat ill see ya next time 😈😈

[beneaththebrim]

some dihua for you on this WIP wednesday

(this is from a brainstorming draft for a dihua server collab with @/sumeriasmith but it's still a bit early so many not end up in the finished product)

set in the wedding dress arc, after llh fell into the pond, playing on this fun little costume change i noticed

Di Feisheng didn’t reply immediately, just gathered and twisted Li Lianhua’s hair into a rope to squeeze it out and let it hang over the barrel. After retrieving a towel, he circled around to face Li Lianhua. He didn’t have much inner force at his disposal what with the Asura grass, but warming a towel was nothing to him. He extended a hand out. Li Lianhua’s eyes flicked up to meet his own. He smiled fondly, and took Di Feisheng’s hand as he stepped out of the bath and into the warm fabric in his other hand.

“I never would have imagined Di-mengzhu had it in him to be such an attentive rival. You really know how to treat a man.” He tilted his head, showing off the bruise on his neck—the one Di Feisheng had made—and shot him a mischievous look.

Di Feisheng raised his eyebrows. Li Xiangyi was really piling it on for someone who’d just been fought to the ground and had his clothes torn off, who’d been subsequently manhandled, restrained, and fucked raw on that same hard ground.

He picked up an oiled comb and began working at Li Lianhua’s dripping hair, using the same gentle, steady stream of inner force to dry it.

“When I fuck you,” he clarified, “You go somewhere I can’t follow.”

“Oh, perhaps Di-mengzhu would learn from taking it up the rear himself.”

Li Lianhua had only been teasing him casually, but Di Feisheng’s breath involuntarily caught in his throat, and a profound, instinctive sense of repulsion overwhelmed him.

“No.” he blurted. “Never.”

Li Lianhua shot him a look. “Suit yourself, but don’t look down on me.”

Di Feisheng continued to carefully comb and dry Li Lianhua’s hair.

“Will you answer?”

Li Lianhua sighed. “A distant shore.”

He didn’t elaborate, and for a moment, Di Feisheng felt an ominous clenching in his chest. That sweet old wound again, telling him what he already knew about that disengaged, glazed look. That insistence that he was already gone.

He kept combing, used the repetitive motion to push away the ache.

The last of the moisture on Li Lianhua’s body steamed up. He was entirely naked, but his expression was so thoroughly cloaked he may as well have been draped in a veil, virginal as a promised bride.

Even still reeling from his previous climax and staving off this Lianhua-flavored dread, Di Feisheng had to keep his body from reacting too strongly. He put down the comb.

“It’s good?” he prodded.

Li Lianhua’s eyes flashed with sardonic amusement. “Would I seek it out otherwise?” He reached for the bruise ointment. “A-Fei, if I keep letting you at my hair I suspect we’ll be here for another half-shichen. If you want to help, be a dear and fetch dry clothes for me.”

He was right. Di Feisheng reluctantly left his side and made for his rucksack.

A distant shore…

Judging by Li Lianhua’s clothing choices, he took himself for a clump of seaweed.

Just as Di Feisheng was thinking this, however, a flash of red caught his eye. He raised an eyebrow. He rummaged past the sea of frumpy greens to get to it.

His lips curled into a smile.

So Li Xiangyi still kept these colors on him…

Di Feisheng thumbed over the vermilion fabric. These little flashes of color, he’d have to cultivate them however he could. He concealed the red robe in a pair of more innocuous white inner robes and trousers.

Li Lianhua had already finished putting his hair up by the time Di Feisheng doubled around to hand him the clothes. He stood to the side with his arms folded, watching Li Lianhua get dressed.

Li Lianhua immediately noticed the choice of clothing, but merely sniffed and gave Di Feisheng the stink eye before accepting his fate. Di Feisheng returned his glare with a smug look of satisfaction.

It was then that Di Feisheng noticed another, somewhat more purple flash of red.

“Only the side of your neck that hit the rock has the ointment on it.” His smirk stretched wider. “Are you saving my marks on you?”

Li Lianhua finished tying his belt and looked up with a mischievous sparkle in his eye.

“Let’s call it detective practice for Young Master Fang.”

[average-ravnican]

I know I have talked shit about the guilds, I should probably give some of my gripes, with them, huh?

Gruul: they just tear shit down, and cause chaos, which is fun for a few days, but they never stop. Also, if you’ve ever been in a mosh pit with one, they will intentionally throw elbows and hands trying to start a brawl.

Golgari: I don’t like bugs. I have a phobia, and unfortunately it makes the entire guild suck. Also, if you buy anything off them, it’s definitely laced with something. 100% of the time.

Boros: part of the issue is the whole persecution of the Guildless, part of it is the fact they’re a guild full of cops, and part of it is the fact they have literal angels in the guild so they feel justified in their shitty takes.

Azorius: what I said about Boros being cops? Yeah, that except the cops are also legislators, actively voting for the police to be more powerful. Also, they FINED ME FOR EATING

Orhzov: Ghost capitalists. I don’t think I need to say much more, other than that for some reason we literally allow them to enslave ghosts and we’re cool with that??? If anyone enslaved a living person, we’d be pissed, but if they’re dead it’s cool?

Rakdos: other than the murder, I guess they’re fine. But it’s like hanging out with your friends from school who got really into music and drugs and never got a personality.

Izzet: other than being a dragon’s cult of personality, and having a literal murderer as their current leader (am I the only one who remembers when Ral killed the Izzet champion of the maze? So he could go instead? He did that in front of a crowd.) and the fact that a disproportionate amount of goblins have “research” accidents on their watch, its being surrounded by gifted kids who need to be the smartest in the room.

Dimir: for self preservation reasons I will not say anything about house dimir.

Simic: similar problem to Izzet, but they also just want to stick tentacles or crab claws on everything. I had a friend who transitioned with the combine, and she’s happy, but she also does glow in the dark.

Selesnya: I won’t get into the personal reason I dislike them, y’all aren’t ready for that story, but it’s almost a joke. “We prefer unity and harmony and peace and will FUCKING MURDER ANYONE WHO GETS IN THE WAY OF IT” (looking at you Trostani)

Not all of these organizations are bad, I just don’t understand why our government is run by all of them.

[canadiannationalfox]

Murder Drones - Tessa x J Drabble - The flight before returning to the cage

(continued from here)

The sun's light grew golden around the Elliott Manor. The crickets were already starting their evening symphony, the fireflies began their cosmic dance in the tall grass along the edge of the garden which lead to the cemetery path Above all of it, sitting on part of the roof, was the heiress to the JC Jensen brand, and her ever-so loyal drone, Serial Designation J.

They had discovered they were in love with each other a day ago, and today had essentially been them having fun and making memories, capping off the day now by watching the sunset and listening to the last songs of the birds in the garden.

"I am sad that our freedom has to come to an end, Jaybird," Tessa mourned softly, tears dropping from her grey eyes like glistening pearls rolling down her face.

J hugged Tessa from the side, taking the girl's left hand in her right. "We had a wonderful day though, and next time your parents go out, we can do all of it again," she responded lovingly, pausing before saying with a slight laugh, "Aside from breaking a vase."

The ebony haired girl giggled a little, wiping away her tears with her right hand. | She spoke in an Aussie accent, yet her voice was gentler than an angel's wing, "Oh, J, you always know how to make me feel better." Resting her head on her drone's, she asked, "Would you want to go on a walk with me, before mother and father get home?"

Serial Designation J smiled as she nuzzled into Tessa's hug. The usually very stern drone responded in a gentle voice, "I'd love to. Where do you want to go?"

"The graveyard, actually!"

"You went there on Thursday to find more hair after Cyn gave herself a pixie cut again," J inquired, letting out a laugh, "God though, we need to keep Cyn away from scissors, kind of like you.."

Tessa laughed a little, and nodded in agreement to J's statment. She sighed happily as she let go of J, holding a section of her hair that was secured at her waist by a bow. "I was thinking of cutting off some again, anyways."

J looked worried, she smoothed her hand over her girlfriend's onyx tresses as she scolded in a warm and caring tone, "Tessa, no, you know how much trouble you'd get in."

Tessa responded back with a giggle snort, "I'm not gonna cut it short-short, I wouldn't dare... I was thinking of taking some weight out by adding some short layers at the very back," she twirled at one of J's silvery side bangs and teased, "It would make the tangles easier to tame... I know how much it stresses you out when it's all knotted."

J couldn't say no to Tessa. She sighed as she relinquished her attempts to make Tessa obey, "Alright... but I'm going to cut it then, I can't risk you making it obvious that you've been playing hairdresser on yourself like you did around 5 years ago." which caused her beloved to giggle. Tessa stood up, helping up her protectress drone maid. "Alright then, let's go." She asked as she and Tessa headed back inside through the attic window, "So are we going on the walk first or doing your hair?"

Tessa responded thoughtfully, "Maybe we could cut my hair in the forest, then the birds could use it to build nests." She giggled happily, "I know I say to not be wasteful, but is it really wasting it if the birds get to use it?"

The silver haired drone smiled a little at Tessa's reasoning. She found it sweet that all these years later, she still cared about the birds. "Alright, I'll meet you downstairs, I'll go get what we need from your dresser." She headed down the attic stairs and ran to Tessa's room while Tessa made her way to the back veranda.

Tessa and J made their way along the garden path, through the hedge arch, past the patch of clovers and the rose bushes. They walked over the slight hill and through the ankle deep grass, and past the stump where Tessa liked to practice playing the harp. They walked through the long hanging branches of the weeping willow, where the songs of blue jays trilled.

And once they were through an iron gateway, they were in the graveyard. The limestone mausoleums and tombstones glittered in the summer twilight glow, making the usually scary place feel almost magical.

The girl, who was now in a black velvet dress adorned with a pink bow at the back, hopped up and sat upon a short tombstone, crossing one leg over the other before pulling all the tied-back sections of her hair over her shoulders. One by one she untied the ribbons and let the length cascade over her shoulders until they hung down her back.

J ran her hand carefully across the silky onyx waist-length curtain of slighty wavy locks. "And to believe this is the very same hair my wig is made of." Her internal compressor kicked on, making her breathe. "Are you sure you want me to do this for you, Princess Tessa?" J asked as she pulled out of the pocket of her apron a pair of scissors and a comb.

"Don't be scared, Jaybird, it's just hair," the young lady trilled reassuringly as she sectioned away the higher tresses, draping them back over her shoulders leaving the hair that hung from between her nape and the mid-ear area hanging down.

J took a breath and ran the comb through the hair gently, detangling the section one last time before she'd cut it. "How high did you want it, Princess?" J inquired lovingly, taking a break from the brushing to use her right index finger and thumb to rub Tessa's earlobe gently.

The ebony haired lass glanced back to J and suggested, "Maybe to about my shoulders? Then I can hide it easier in the length if I flat iron it."

J teased to Tessa, her nerves nodes were still going off, "I guess this time I have to be your brave girl, huh? Your little Jay bird is a little scared." She mustered up her courage, gathering in her hands a chunk of the soft ebony waves. She brought out the glistening silver sewing scissors, their blades shining in the sun's warm glow. She opened the scissors, slid the section into their sharp jaws and sliced through. "SHIK!"

J looked to the chunk of beautiful hair in her hands. The drone's fear melted away as she heard the voice of her love. "Keep going Jaybird, you can't go back now. Make me feel pretty."

J reassured lovingly, "Oh Tessa, you're always the most beautiful." J watched as she let the section of hair fall to the forest floor, drifting down like feathers from a molting crow's wings. She positioned the scissors again and sliced off another chunk, letting it too fall.

Tessa relaxed her shoulders, enjoying the sound of the blue jays in the willow nearby as well as the snipping of the shears and the slight hum of J's internal motor. She reached back and ran her fingers through a freshly chopped section. She reveled in the feeling, exclaiming eagerly, "J! It's so soft, feel here!"

The maid drone who stood behind Tessa reached her free hand up and ran her fingers through the shoulder length sections of hair. "That is really soft," she assessed before playing with the waviness that had appeared now that the weight was lessened on it. She twirled at it, almost causing the section to form a very loose ringlet, like J had in her ponytails. "You have such beautiful hair, Tessa."

Tessa sat tall, feeling proud. "At least you notice," she teased lovingly, her tone changed softer as she lovingly cooed, "Thank you, my lovely J."

J resumed her handiwork, snipping away section after section, making ebony ribbons of keratin fall into the grass. "Kind of funny, usually the ones who get haircuts in this part of the property are dead people," J joked, trying to find humour in Tessa's morbid hobby of graverobbing.

Tessa couldn't help but laugh a little at her Jaybird's joke. "I guess you're quite right." In that moment, each snip of the sewing scissors, and Tessa's head feeling lighter, she felt a sense of control and freedom. She felt trapped by her life, like Rapunzel in the ivory tower, but the fact she had some autonomy right now, by getting J to change up her looks a little, it made her feel free as a dove.

J looked to the almost finished shoulder length layers, she took the last section and pulled it straight but not taut. She closed the scissors around the section and pulled it away from the now severed ends. She looked at the glossy hair in her hands and slipped it into her pocket where she had put Tessa's hairbows. The maid drone wanted to keep a lock for herself, because she loved Tessa so much, so she'd have a little token of their love even if they were apart ever. J remembered what to do next as she point cut into the bluntly chopped layers to give it a more textured and natural look. "Almost done, Tess."

The ebony haired girl in the black dress giggled in delight. She ran her fingers through the hair that was draped over her shoulders, "This is exciting! I can't wait to see how it looks."

"And how are you going to? It's getting too dark to see your reflection in the pond, and there's probably no mirrors-" she was interrupted by her beloved human girlfriend.

"There's late Aunt Margaret's mirror in the mausoleum," Tessa stated, she laughed a little.

J responded as she put the scissors away once the haircut was perfect in her opinion, "Leave it to Little Miss Elliott, the graverobber."

Tessa hopped off the tombstone, and pushed the long sections of hair back over her shoulders, before she headed to a mausoleum. She walked over to a shelf with an urn, grabbing a fancy gold plated mirror. She held it up, fluffing up her hair as she admired her modified hairstyle. "Oooh, I look really good!" she marveled joyously, "I love it, Jaybird."

J came into the mausoleum, she kissed the back of Tessa's hand like the knights in the fairytales she used to read to Tessa. "You're always the most beautiful girl, I'm just happy I could help you feel as beautiful as you are already."

Tessa squealed in delight, she set down the mirror and lifted J off the marble floors. She held the drone close by her waist, spinning around holding the silver haired bot. "Oh I love you! I love you so much!" she sang excitedly before setting down a slightly dizzy J. Her joy fleeted a little, she sighed as she remembered that her parents would be home in an hour, "I guess we should head back to the house."

J offered gently, "Do you want me to tie your hair back into it's normal style?"

Tessa kissed J on the forehead gently. "I think I'll wear it loose this time, I mean, yes it'll hide your beautiful work a little, but, like you said, it's best if I don't get caught." She got down to J's level and kissed the drone on the lips.

J counted the seconds silently as she kissed back, praying for time to be a little longer in that moment. She wrapped her arms around the neck of her human girlfriend, leaning into the kiss more. The beautiful Elliott girl eventually broke the kiss after 15 seconds. She fanned herself with both her hands and giggled in excitement, "That was effervescent!"

"You still won't give up those vampire romance novels, will you, Tess?" J giggled back.

The two headed back to the house, the sky now turning a deep teal with pink outlined clouds and stars starting to appear above.

---------

J sat in the landing pod, she ran her thumb over the chunk of ebony hair in her hands. It was still as soft as that lovely summer evening. She held it one hand by the little bow holding the chunk together as she used her right index finger to twist and twirl until the lock of her late lover's hair had become curled.

"I... I need to do something... I need to do something," J muttered to herself, glancing over to the control panel. A small microchip glowed a beautiful pale blue, she had found it in the snow as well as some bone fragments from Tessa's remains. She knew what she had to do. She had to find drone parts and put them back together. She said under her breath as she put down the chunk of beautiful ebony hair in a gentle manner, as if it was an angel's feather, "I will put her back together...."

The End?