#'if you give me six hours and an axe to chop down a tree
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Do you feel, like, constantly overwhelmed? Unable to focus on tasks and self-care like showering? Have I got the tip for you
I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.
You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.
But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.
"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."
For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.
This stupidly simple journaling technique (which doesn't even feel like journalling to me) has caused me to go from being chronically overwhelmed to feeling like, even just for a little bit, everything is going to be okay.
#coping#life hack#coping techniques#mental health#mental illness#ADHD#Autism#neurodivergent#actually autistic#actually adhd#actually dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#in case you want to know the story behind the name#it was about abraham lincoln#and how once he was like#'if you give me six hours and an axe to chop down a tree#anyway it's been a certified lifechanger for me :)
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The Importance of a Good Foundation -- This Week in Hunting Darkness
"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln, reportedly
There's some Dutch incoming here, which I am told is not a real language, but stay with me and you'll see how an elevator sign re-inspired me to stick to my favourite writing practice, Landscape Architecture.
Two days ago, I went to the ZZP CafĂŠ held by Van Lanschot in Rotterdam with my partner, Luca. ZZP stands for "Zelfstandige Zonder Personeel". This literally means "Independent Without Employees", something both Luca and I are.
The point of this "CafĂŠ" was to give ZZP'ers some information on how to work towards building a decent retirement fund without having an employer who does that for you (and of course sell Van Lanschot's product for this purpose). That's not what I want to get into, though.
The event was held in the Unilever building. When I entered the elevator, I quickly noticed this:
This sign means that if you need a bathroom with access for, say, a wheelchair, you need to go to the basement. That already has some fun implications, especially in a building with 9+ storeys, but then I also saw this:
If you wanted to join the ZZP CafĂŠ but weren't able to climb stairs, tough luck! Now, I could get into Unilever being shit here, but this sign got me thinking beyond that.
In 2001, Dutch philosopher Bas Haring published his book Kaas en de evolutietheorie, or "Cheese and the Theory of Evolution", in which he explains evolution and its implications in ways that even I, as a young child, could fathom and enjoy.
In it, he remarks how evolution, by its nature, has to work on what came before it. He compares this with Microsoft not being at liberty to do anything they wanted with new Windows software, because it has to work on existing hardware and play nice with the software already in existence. He further explains that should we discover, for instance, that trains can run much more efficiently with their wheels a further 4 inches apart, we would be doomed to know that without being able to implement it, because the existing rail network isn't built for that.
These examples came back to me while looking at this elevator sign. Obviously, they've tried anticipating for people who can't climb stairs and who need more room in the bathroom. However, they did this after the building had been built, dooming them to unpleasant compromises. The intent was there, but it's implementation came too late, hampering possibilities.
This, in my view, is directly applicable to writing. If you simply burst off writing, you might find your first draft is so flawed that the only way to salvage it is to tear it down and start over. This may work for some, but to me, that's extremely demoralising.
Thus, it's better -- at least in my view -- to make sure you've covered your bases before you start writing. Prevent inescapable plot holes by mapping the plot in advance. Sharpen your axe before you start swinging it.
Of course, this is just tapping the Architect vs Pantser debate, but really it's my own personal reaffirmation that I enjoy being that third option, which I've heard called a Landscape Architect: I plan everything in advance, and then I allow it to grow as naturally as possible.
Kind of funny to get that sort of affirmation of my approach to writing from an elevator sign in a flawed building.
Daan
#weekly blog#writing discussion#writing craft#writing advice#writing practice#architect#vs#pantser#landscape architect#my writing#from the bay of fangs#hunting darkness#dark bear productions#accessibility#evolution
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The intersection of climate work + climate school
Abraham Lincoln once said: âgive me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axeâ. Climate action at times feels like this quote, like a slow build of ideas and efforts gradually culminating into big change. The issue of climate change is so complex that unlike the tree in this metaphor it would take several people working consistently on the strategies that allow the tree (climate change) to be tackled from every possible angle at the same time because the threat of a warning planet is imminent.
Today in Applications class I believe many students (including myself) felt vindicated to hear the alumni panelists say that after you leave school and go work in climate it's a constant effort of (re)assessing your positionality, making sure you're operating in the "right" space(s), and being gentle as well as patient with yourself to have longevity in your career. I learned that many paths can lead to the same destination and that although everyone's individual climate pathway will look somewhat different, ultimately the end goal of climate action is the same net zero.
The two pathways that resonated most with me were Madeline's because she brought what I felt sounded like a more climate finance angle to a post-C+S career, and I work at the intersection of a climate, environmental, social, and financial industry. Also, she mentioned some very interesting options for reputable institutions that have opportunities in energy. In addition to this, Rashawn's journey was interesting because he is doing so much on education which is not my focus area but is one that I truly admire. I also really liked his honesty about expectations vs. reality of the first day at a new job, but how it gets easier with preparation and perseverance.
Lastly, there was a question from the audience about the challenges of switching from full-time study to full-time work, and while I cannot relate to it because I've been studying and working full-time since the start of this program, I realize this is also my 4th degree and so I've had time and experience to adjust to both the world of work and the world of academia, compared to those soon embarking on their first work experience. I hope that next year (as many other students said) I can talk from the other side about this relatively unique experience of working and studying at the same time to encourage the small percentage of students in a similar boat.
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5 Steps to Learn Woodworking | woodworking skills | woodworking free | beginner
đłâGive me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.â -Abraham Lincolnđ¤
Woodworking is a timeless craft that allows individuals to transform raw pieces of lumber into functional and artistic creations. Whether you're dreaming of crafting your own furniture, building custom cabinets, or simply honing your woodworking skills as a hobby, embarking on this journey begins with a solid foundation.
In this comprehensive guide, we'll walk you through five essential steps to learn woodworking. From understanding the fundamentals of wood selection to mastering the art of safe tool usage, these steps will empower you to embark on your woodworking adventure with confidence and creativity.
here are easy and first 05 steps to get you started.
đRead books about woodworking đ´Take a few courses (online or in-person) đľWatch videos đ´Get tools đľPurchase material And more..!
steps in more detail below.
Remember : The order of these steps is important. You donât want to purchase tools or materials before youâve studied and found out what you need. tempting to rush out and buy gadgets, but without proper planning, youâll get easily frustrated.
đ´ Read Woodworking Books
Books are a great way to get detailed and, usually, reliable information. You may want to purchase several books to have them as a reference; however, you can always check some out at a library. đżStart with the Basics Begin by understanding the fundamental concepts of woodworking, including different types of wood, grain patterns, and the properties of various wood species. đżTool Knowledge Learn about the different woodworking tools and their uses. This includes hand tools like chisels and planes, as well as power tools like circular saws and routers. đż Safety Precautions Study safety guidelines thoroughly to ensure you know how to use tools safely. This includes wearing appropriate safety gear and keeping your workspace well-ventilated.
@
#wood#basicwoodworking#woodworkingidea#woodworkingprojects#typeofwood#kindofwood#woodmdad#wood crafts#wooden#natalie wood#woods and fields
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uh. been a minute. super kids playing dodgeball. bnha s3e17-21
who is this kid with the teeth they keep showing in the intro
oh yeah, the Ninja Clan Hidden in the Teletubby House 'XD -- "Team TeleNinja is blasting off again!"
Not much to say about Momo outsmarting Princess Mind Palace. yeah. that was things, that was cool
if this weirdo with the hat turns people into blobs but those blobs somehow don't have the targets on them any more⌠how exactly does he win?
blinks âŚthat was a whole episode, huh. welp, next
I keep expecting the first beats of the last OP. this one ain't bad either, tho.
oh, everybody has six pokeballs each. thought they only had three for some reason.
"If I were given eight hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first six sharpening my axe." Knowing me, I'd spend the first seven and a half doing fuckall and then cut my own arm off trying to use a rented chainsaw.
you with the hat. why haven't you just passed the flippin test already? assuming you can un-blob people, and kirishima hasn't just been killed off out of nowhere, how far up your own ass do you have to be to not just un-blob a couple people and take your license? presumably, they're more than a little discombobulated when they come out of it, so they should be easy pickings.
It's time⌠to D-D-D-D-DANCE! (idk I couldn't think of any other D words to do with being zapped)
okay, and I guess laserguts is sending up this beacon for⌠some kind of reason?
and nobody wanted to tell kota that that mask makes him look like howard the duck.
"yay, I can take a nap now!" -- oh. there's still another test left. of course.
huh. Cousin Itt's polite.
"we know it's a rescue training mission, but we gotta give bakugo something to do or we'd have to fail him"
âŚa filler episode in the middle of what's sort of a filler arc? -- all might with regular eyes still weirds me tf out
so, it's a recap of the movie? or a prequel to the movie, or, something
âŚwhat is this sposed to be and why is it here
still can't get over how much all might's villain costume makes him look like caiman from dorohedoro
why is this crammed in the middle of a completely unrelated arc tho
pffft 'XD oh come on, they just assumed all might was corpsing because he's not a good actor
if this is sposed to tell you about the movie, then after this do I get to bitch about them uncanoning melissa's gauntlets? âŚwait the current arc hasn't even wrapped up yet, the continuity here is just beyond fucked.
huh. so windy guy is just if syndrome had taken it differently and just tried to be a angy hero instead (also if heroes hadn't gone underground I guess).
Hair guy is pretty cool
ain't really that late, but I think I'mma leave the last four episodes of the season for next time.
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Easy Ways to Get a Great Job Sooner
Youâve seen so much advice on getting a job that youâre overwhelmed. Whatâs going to get you into the job you want, fast? The following are the ways to get a job youâll love as efficiently as possible.
#1: Donât fly blind: study up on job search. Start with an up-to-date âresume how-toâ. If you have an online course certification in that domain, then apply. Also, read up on cover letters and start networking with the current employees in that firm.Â
#2: Look at how far youâre leaping. Do you need a new career, a new industry, or just a new job? If you have decided to pursue a new career, then it's better to get some online courses with certificates to get well-versed. It is always better to know what you are getting into.
#3: Embrace LinkedIn. LinkedIn is the most valuable social platform for most job seekers. You can showcase your great profile with your skills, any online course with certificates that bring recruiters directly to you, and provides an excellent opportunity to display recommendations.Â
#4: Offer social proof. LinkedIn recommendations are among the least understood and underused job search tools. It is one of the first places recruiters look in your profile, so make sure they are impressed. Apart from adding your qualifications and experiences, you take help from LinkedIn networks and then fully use them. Moover, looking good on Facebook, Twitter, etc. wonât hurt either.
#5: Sharpen the saw. As Abraham Lincoln stated, âGive me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.â Â When it comes to job search, your most important âaxeâ is yourself: your mind and body. It is why career coaches often advise their clients to exercise. Exercise is a better solution for depression than medication, and it boosts confidence, makes you look better and keeps your energy level up.
On the other hand, sharpening the saw also means enhancing your job skills, like doing online course certification on Python or more.
#6: Prepare well for interviews before you get one. Packing at the last minute isnât the best way to prepare for successful interviews. Donât wait until a recruiter calls you, because that phone call is a crucial interview and another call like it could happen any time. Are you ready to impress the recruiter?
#7: Have a âcurrent occupation,â even if youâre unemployed. Even if you donât currently have a job, you still have a profession, and there are ways to reflect this in your online profiles. Meanwhile, keeping busy with consulting/freelancing, pro bono work, or online certified programs to cover the gap shows the strong work ethic and professional enthusiasm employers want to see.
Conclusion
A smart job search along these lines isnât just about getting a job faster. Itâs about getting a good job that gives you satisfaction. The best opportunities tend to get snapped up by people whoâve made extra effort like online courses with certification, internships or so. A so-so jobâmaybe itâs low paying or the manager is someone people donât want to work forâis more likely to get thrown out to the job boards.
Therefore, develop a daily routine that puts these best practices into routine, organized action. Build it, and opportunities will come. Youâll get a better job than those who ignore this advice, and youâll get it faster.
Are you looking for any online certifications?
Unschool is here to take you one step ahead toward employability. It is the best e-learning platform for students who want to become the best version of themselves. Apply now to know more!
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How To Grow Your Business
What is the most important thing to run a business? Business training? Advice from relatives and friends? Business tips? A business coach who can help you out? Yes, these may be required when you want to scale your business but there is one more important thing. Always keep in mind that your business can run only and only if you have sales. Without sales, your business wonât survive. Your business needs sales, customers, prospects and if have all these, your business problems would be reduced massively. But what are these business problems that can be reduced by sales and customers? These problems could be related to purchasing, inventory, manufacturing, employee management and a lot more. Every businessman is stuck in these kinds of problems from morning till evening. So, in short, your business needs sales to reduce the burden of your problems.
Now how to get these sales? By doing hard work? No, just doing hard work may give you results in the beginning phrase but in the later stages, with hard work you need something else also. You need more of mind work in the later phrases than the hard work. A lot of brainstorming is needed to come up with ideas for improving sales and achieving the target. You have to take your business to a higher position really smartly.
How to grow your business or sales?
Here are 3 ways by which you can grow your business by improving sales and getting more customers.
Create an ecosystem (Win-Win)- Create an ecosystem such that it is a win-win situation for everyone- you as a business owner, your clients, your customers and your employees. Creating such an environment/ situation would help you grow your business. What does a customer want? A customer wants that you should be able to solve his problems and help him reach his goal. If you are able to do so, the customer will be your agent forever. If you are not able to do so, then to make a sale, you will have to lower the price of your product. So, you will have to do either of these two things. Think from the customerâs point of view, think about what he wants from you. If your customer is benefitted, you and your employees will be benefitted too. To do all this, you must invest some amount of your earnings and time on yourself, on your development. Abraham Lincoln said, â Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.â The same funda goes for a businessman that he must invest on himself, on his own development. The more you develop yourself, the better you would be able to understand your customer and his needs.But developing this ecosystem may not be an easy task. You may be able to develop it within 2-3 years or you may take 10-15 years which is too long a time period. If it takes this long, you must think f changing your business. For example, Ritesh Aggarwal, owner of Oyo Rooms started in2012 and his worth today would be more than $1 billion. He could do this because he developed his ecosystem really fast and is able to maintain it.
Solve the problem quickly-Â You may face many problems in creating an ecosystem but you must find the solution to these problems very quickly. These problems should be solved by you, your team and your expertise. You must come out of your cocoon, your comfort zone and do a little more than you usually do to succeed. Never give up and if you give up then donât expect to win also. Keep a stopwatch with yourself and tell yourself that you must solve the given problem within a particular time frame. Donât try too hard to go into each and every detail or be a perfectionist else it may take a lot of your time. Solving the problem is more important than being a perfectionist in it. Without delaying it, just do it.
Concentrate on the small market-Â Start your business by catering to a small market first. Make customers in a small area, make name and goodwill in this small market and once you think you have made good customers and reputation in this market, start spreading in the nearby markets, take small steps and expand gradually. Dominate a small market first and then look for other markets. This would also tell you where you have a better scope of your products. If you try to do everything in one go, you will end up getting nothing. Make yourself an expert in a few things and focus on them. Donât divert yourself by indulging in too many things and not having an expertise in any.
To summarise, you must create an ecosystem (Win-Win situation), have the ability to solve the problems quickly and begin by concentrating on small markets and then expand progressively. By taking these three steps, you may be able to grow your business and take it to the next level.
#publicspeaking#anuragaggarwal#anuragthecoach#motivationalspeaker#business courses#business#https://businessandpublicspeaking.in/blog/#https://www.anuragaggarwal.com
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The Warrior and the Wildfire
Chapter 3: Oath-Breaker
Sorry for taking so much longer than I thought I would! But I hope it was worth the wait! Please let me know what you think- your comments are seriously what keeps me going. love you all sm â¤ď¸
word count: 4108
Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter
It was fresh, and completely unmistakable. Within the past few hours, Lorcan Salvaterre had passed by Mistward, heading for the sea.
Rowan immediately swooped low, following the scent to where it meandered over the forest floor, his heart pounding in his chest. The trail skirted around the edge of Mistwardâs perimeter, following a path that was just out of their sightline, but close enough that in the morning, the scouts would find it immediately.
It almost felt like a message.
Rowan shifted in mid-air, landing hard on his heels and already drawing the wind towards him from all directions, searching for anything, any whisper of a dark form, flitting between the oaks, quick as a shadow â
But there was nothing. Only the memory.
Rowan began to run, following the trail westward. Even though Lorcan had passed through these trees barely a few hours ago, the wind couldnât sense him. He was already gone, miles and miles ahead. Out of the reach of Rowanâs wind.
As the trail solidified before him, Rowanâs stride lengthened, his footing becoming more sure with each step. And he longed to be able to shift again, to use the wind to propel him over the land.
He could fly so much faster than he could run, but then he risked losing the scent â a chance he could not take. So instead Rowan dug his feet into the earth, tearing through the forest mists. A predator on the hunt.
Only one thought in his head.
Why in rutting hell was Lorcan Salvaterre trying to get his attention?
¡¡¡
Fenrys wasnât there when she found out.
He was out on a run, hunting through the forests around Doranelle. Chasing down after whispers of the forest-spirits. He knew they were here: the elemental beings, as ancient as the very stones and mountains and valleys. Older than history â than time itself.
Fenrys would hear them in the night â sounds of crashing rock and tearing metal, the felling of trees when no wind blew. Still fighting their ancient wars, either uncaring or ignorant of the affairs of lesser beings. But Fenrys had never seen them, nor did he know of anyone who had.
Every now and again, he would glance a fairy or two. One of the Little Folk, going about their little-great-deeds. But it was never when he was looking for them.
It was something he and Connall used to do as young ones â charge through the forest, hunting for fairies. For the heroes of the tales their mother would tell them, over glasses of sweet fruit juice on lazy summer afternoons. Stories of battles and warriors and the hidden magic of the land. To this day, Fenrys didnât know whether the stories were true, or if she had made them up herself.
He knew it was only purposeless distraction, and one that he would likely pay for when he returned. But he just had no idea how much.
So no, Fenrys wasnât in the palace when Maeve found out.
But Connall was.
¡¡¡
The trail was nearly a straight shot through the woods, barely deviating for trees and boulders. Lorcan was really hauling ass. And as he drew closer and closer to the coastline, and the little market town that was waiting for him there, Rowan felt his suspicions begin to grow.
It was nearing evening when Rowan finally began to hear little signs of approaching civilization â the neighing of horses, the soft thumps of an axe chopping wood. But the trail pushed on, breaching the edges of the trees, following over the cobbles through the market, out towards the end of the main street, until it came to a stop. Right at the end of the long wooden dock.
Rowan stood at the brink, right where the path met the sea. And he could feel fury coiling in his gut.
Lorcan had left. And Rowan thought he might be able to guess where his former commander was headed. But before he decided anything, before he made a plan, he needed to be absolutely sure.
Rowan turned on his heels, headed back into the village. His cloak was pulled high over his head, hiding much of his face. He let his body fall into a slump, hiding its powerful shape. Evening was coming on, and if he kept his movements sloppy and wide, he could be just another traveler, coming to wet his throat with watered-down ale.
Outside the pub, a young maid was lighting the lamps, her hair neat and apron clean. When she looked up at him, Rowan caught the glint of sharp eyes. Maybe he wouldnât even need to go inside the tavern.
âHello miss,â Rowan said, ever so slightly shifting his accent, letting the words fall from his mouth like marbles. âMight you be able to tell me where I could hire passage on a ship?â
Her face twisted shrewdly, and she gave him a quick once over as she straightened and said, âDepends on where youâre goinâ. And how much coin youâve got tâ spend.â
Rowan nodded, making sure to keep his clothes hidden with the cloak, knowing that an accidental glint of silver from one of his hidden blades might be enough for her to call for help from inside the tavern. And that last thing he wanted was trouble. âWhen was your last ship headed for Adarlan? And when will you be expecting the next one? It doesnât have to be fast, or comfortable.â
Her expression tightened, but she answered reasonably enough. âWe get a fair few ships headed to the western continent this time oâ year â the sheepâve just been shorn and ships head that a-way bearing wool to trade for furs from the north, and steel from the south. Iâm pretty sure we had a ship go through this morning.â
âAnd the next?â Rowan prompted, his expression schooled into neutrality.
âIf you ask around the dockyards, Iâm sure you might find another ship headinâ that way â once the tide comes in. And if not, then Iâm sure thereâll be another come tomorrow.â
âThank you.â Rowan slipped the girl a coin. âBy chance, you didnât catch another traveler come through here today, heading the same direction â asking questions? Tall, dark hair, harsh look?â
The shrewd look fell into a scowl. âMaybe. Either way, my answerâll cost moreân just a copper.â
Rowan slipped her another couple of coins, and she pocketed them. But her scowl didnât soften.
âI mightâve seen your man. Came through around mid-morning, in a massive rush. Massive man, at that. Huge. Musta been six, nearly seven feet? I donât think Iâve ever seen a man that tall. And he nearly knocked me over coming in the pub to ask after passage to Rifthold. Kept his face covered though, so I couldnât be sure.â
Rowan nodded again, but before the maid could turn to leave, he asked, âOh â and do you happen to know a place where I could send a letter?â
âIf you give it to me, I can get it to my mother and sheâll give it to the courier when he comes âround in the morninâ. You gonna come in for a pint?â
The maid held open the door, and Rowan followed her in, thinking it much easier to just go along with the girl, and far too wrapped up in his thoughts to come up with a polite refusal that wouldnât leave her even more suspicious than she already was.
The tavern wasnât bustling, but it was far from empty either. A few farmers sat at a table in the far corner, enjoying a few beers after a long dayâs work, while a few younger boys, perhaps their sons, were laughing and joking across the room. There were a few other individuals â travelers like himself, or people who lived and worked in the village. But the majority of the bar was filled with sailors â teasing and joking and climbing all over each other, celebrating their last night on dry ground for many weeks to come.
Rowan headed for a quiet corner, flagging down the waitress and settling onto a creaky wooden bench. He ordered some bread and ale, which she had brought over in mere seconds, and he began to pick at it mindlessly.
There could be no doubt. Lorcan was heading for Adarlan, for Rifthold. For Aelin.
Maeve had sent him to go after Aelin. And she had ordered him to pass by Mistward, Mistward specifically, so that Rowan would be drawn into the conflict. Maybe they were planning on using him to get to Aelin, to follow him in order to find her.
The question was, why only Lorcan? Where were the twins? Gavriel? Vaughan? Would they follow Lorcan? Were they already headed for Adarlan?
Rationally, Rowan knew that Aelin was safe. That she was still somewhere in the middle of the ocean, on her way to Rifthold. But it took all of his self-control to keep himself from shifting right there, in the middle of this tavern filled with mortals, and fly out into the ocean skies to find her.
What really worried him was the idea that he would get there too late. That even if he got on a ship right at that moment, he would get to Rifthold after she had already been found, taken, overwhelmed. The idea that there were already forces there, waiting to seize her.
And no matter what, Lorcan would arrive in Rifthold hours or days before Rowan would be able to, and well before Aelin could read any letter he sent. Not that he even knew where he could send a letter. All he knew was that she used to own a hidden apartment in the slums, and that for the past six months, she had lived in a stone tower in the castle.
It seemed unlikely that she would return to either. Both were compromised, the castle being an obviously insane choice. Unless of course she had something hidden up her sleeve that she had kept from Rowan. Which felt distinctly possible. And Arobynn had to know about the apartment. She had nowhere safe to go, and Rowan had nowhere safe he could send a warning.
So the only way he would be able to tell her about Lorcan would be to go there himself. To break his oath.
Rowan knew that he could, and without much difficulty at that. But it still felt wrong â a violation of trust. If he left Wendlyn without being told to by Aelin, he would be going against her wishes. He would be taking advantage, both of the flexibility of their bond and of her trust in him.
And it definitely didnât make things any easier that he so desperately wanted to leave in the first place. It felt like he was exploiting the opportunity to be close to her again, no matter how rationally necessary it might be. And there was a chance that she might not forgive him for it.
But no matter how much that might sting, he couldnât live through following her requests to the letter, and Aelin dying because of it.
So, Lorcan was headed for Rifthold. And soon, Rowan would be heading there as well.
Rowan tore into the bread, newly reinvigorated. He didnât see any reason to return to Mistward, there wasnât anything there worth sacrificing another day for. But he did feel bad about leaving without any notice. Deserting Emrys and Malakai, andâŚLuca.
So as he ate, Rowan dug out a piece of paper from his pack and began to write.
Emrys,
Iâm sorry. Something came up. Tell Luca to remember to practice swings off his left side just as much as his right, I donât care if they hurt more.
When I see her, Iâll tell her you say hello.
Then he folded up the paper and sealed it, leaving it unmarked. Hopefully, even if someone â such as that suspicious maid â opened the letter to see what it said, what he wrote would be meaningless.
He spent the rest of the evening listening to the sailorsâ conversation, until he heard mention of a crew headed for Rifthold. The barmaid hadnât lied â it was a ship bearing crates of wool heading to Adarlan to trade for steel. This was their last night ashore, and they were setting sail sometime in the early morning, just before the tide shifted.
So Rowan waited a few minutes more, then left the waitress his fee, gave the maid his letter, and walked out into the lamplit village, his jaw squared and his shoulders set. Determined.
¡¡¡
Fenrys returned to broken furniture. Splintered wood and broken glass. Twisted metal and shattered stone. That was the first thing he noticed.
The second thing he noticed was the silence. It stretched its fingers through the walls and corridors and archways, until it brushed through to his skin. Until it was the only touch he could feel.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Where there should be sound.
The third thing he noticed was the bodies. Their touch was even colder than the quiet. There was no red, no black. None of the usual gory signs of death. Just nothing. An absence.
Fenrys worked his way through the wreckage, his hands empty of feeling, his heart a stone in his chest. His intestines resting somewhere near his toes.
Until he reached their rooms, and found Connall in a dark huddle across the sea of space, and he was still breathing and it felt like Fenrys could breathe again too, but then Connall spoke and sound returned to the world, âWhy did he leave? Why did he leave us?â and his voice was so full of fear that Fenrys felt tears sprout from his eyes like wings.
âWho?â Fenrys asked. âWho, Con? What happened?â
But then the palace stones began to thunder, and the questions that had seemed so important only a moment ago fell from his mind on a scattered breeze.
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Rowan flitted into a dark alleyway around the back of the tavern, and once he was sure there was no one there to see, he shifted into his hawk and flew out over the small village.
From his eavesdropping earlier, he had learned that the ship headed for Rifthold was an old galleon vessel near the edge of the docks, bearing white and yellow flags. It had a large enough cargo bay that hopefully Rowan would be able to find a place to stow away, but wasnât so large that the journey would take even longer than it should. Which was already far, far too long for his liking.
Rowan circled high above the ship a few times, making sure that he appeared as nothing more than just another sea bird, hunting for its dinner. Although most of the crew, including the captain and first mate, appeared to be drinking away their pay on the floor of the tavern in the village, the ship wasnât completely empty.
His winds told him that at least three men were asleep below decks, their rumbling snores echoing through the wooden beams. But a few lamps still shone, and with their light Rowan could see a few flickering shadows just beneath the upper deck that made him think not all of the sailors were yet asleep.
So Rowan would have to be extremely careful in making his approach.
He waited for long minutes for those lights to vanish, and shadows to disappear. And the second they did Rowan was sailing down among the rigging, twisting and turning around the sails and masts until he could be absolutely sure that there werenât any watchful eyes to mark his presence.
Then Rowan was swooping down into the maze of rooms below decks, making sure to avoid the various sleeping quarters, kitchens, and officersâ cabins. Heading towards the hold at the very bottom of the ship in as straight of a path as he could.
Rowan found a dark corner behind a case of flour and barrel of barley, and then shifted back into his Fae form. Once they passed the halfway mark between Adarlan and Wendlyn, magic would stop working, and he wouldnât be able to move between forms. He had to find a place he could hide in during the day that was large enough for his Fae body. A task far easier said than done.
A ship like this had a crew in the dozens, and quarters were cramped all to hell. Every piece of available space was used, from every corner to closet and even the toilets. Only the captain would have room to stretch his legs, and even then, it was barely by a few feet. Nothing like the space he would need in order to not attract attention.
Rowan looked over the hold once again, scanning for anything that could possibly be large enough. Then he nearly huffed a laugh when he realized exactly what he needed to do.
¡¡¡
When morning came, Rowan was crammed into a wooden case lined with wool. The back panel carefully pried out and its nails removed, but then leaned carefully back into place to allow him a quick exit. And the majority of the wool was now taking a trip down the coastline.
He had spent an hour or so that night carefully removing armfuls of the fiber and tossing it overboard, using his wind to propel it from the shipyard and out to sea, leaving only just enough room for himself. It was crammed, scratchy, uncomfortable, and smelled like sheep dung, but it would do.
Now, as the ship slowly meandered its way through the reef and out into open ocean, with the occasional shouts and curses of the sailors toiling above, Rowan had nothing to do but think.
For the next month.
It might just be the longest month of his life. At least he couldnât complain about not having enough time to plan.
Aelin certainly would have a strategy, and by the time he reached her, she would have been working away at it for nearly two weeks. And while he could only guess at her aims, he knew that when he reached her, he would do whatever he could to help her reach those goals.
The question was, should he reach her at all?
Rowan knew he needed to warn her about Lorcan, but once he was actually in Rifthold, that could be done in many ways â not just by contacting her in person. And deep in his bones, Rowan knew that Lorcan had dragged him here on purpose. That the male had wanted him to follow, to pursue. There were faster ways to travel from Doranelle to the sea than to go by Mistward.
So wouldnât it be playing right into Lorcanâs hands to join up with Aelin? Giving him exactly what he wanted?
Lorcan wasnât familiar enough with Aelinâs scent, nor with the city of Rifthold, to track her down by himself. He would be digging in the dark â except for the trail that Rowan would give him, as easily as handing over their lives like so much coin.
Perhaps Rowan could go to Rifthold, warn Aelin anonymously, and track down Lorcan by himself. And the faster he rid himself of his former commander, the sooner Rowan would be able to reunite with his Queen.
The pain of that future made him physically flinch.
And it wasnât only the idea of being in the same city, or even just on the same continent, as Aelin and not being beside her. It was the thought of Lorcan, Lorcan, his commander of nearly three centuries, someone he had almost once thought of as a brother, or even a friend, Lorcan, as someone he needed to dispose of.
Someone who was his enemy.
It was a heavy, uncomfortable weight. It felt strange, and wrong, to have someone he had so trusted become such a dangerous enemy. No matter how necessary he knew it might be, Rowan couldnât really think of killing him.
It would be like destroying a part of himself, an old part, but a necessary one.
Without Lorcan, he wouldnât have become the person he was today, wouldnât know the things he knew, or understand what he now did. About war and sacrifice and leadership and teaching.
Lorcan had been a pillar in his life when he needed one. And while Rowan hadnât loved him, he had respected him.
And now they were enemies.
Rowan scowled, the crate somehow becoming even more uncomfortable.
What he did know was how Lorcan worked, how he operated. If Rowan did decided to reunite with Aelin, then he would have to keep his distance. Because Lorcan was expert at finding pressure points, and using them to his advantage.
Lorcan already knew that Aelin had turned Rowan away from Maeve, knew that Rowan had chosen her over his oath, over his life.
Idiot. He was such an idiot when it came to her.
If Lorcan found out that there was anything more, that there were other, deeper feelings â
No, Rowan could keep his distance. He could keep those thoughts under control because he had to. Not only because they did no good, but because they might get Aelin killed. Or worse, captured and taken back to Maeve.
But Rowan knew that he wouldnât be able to deal with Lorcan without her â that he wouldnât be able to return to Rifthold without reuniting with her. No matter how much easier it might be to keep her safe if he stayed away.
The only thing that was keeping him sane was the thought that at the end of this journey through hell, stuffed in this tiny rutting box that smelled like dung, unable to lay down properly for weeks, was an image of Aelinâs face. Even if she wasnât happy to see him, even if she didnât forgive him breaking his oath.
For the first time in weeks, he was heading towards her, instead of away.
So Rowan curled up and turned on his side, and tried to get some sleep, as the shouts of the sailors above him faded into the rising dawn.
¡¡¡
Across Wendlyn, Emrys was stirring a large pot of rabbit stew, listening to the potatoes crackling as they fried on the stove. It was a lot of work, feeding this many people each and every day. But Emrys loved it, caring for this large family of his. Making sure they were all fed. Taking in strays.
Aelin Galathynius had been such a stray, and he couldnât say that he didnât miss her. But he knew that she was where she was meant to be, doing what she was meant to do. No matter what that prince said, or how much he tried to hide, Emrys knew that Aelin had survived her encounter with Maeve, that they both had escaped. Together. And now sheâd moved on to other â perhaps even greater â foes.
Even when she was all the way across the ocean Emrys was worried about her.
The old male just sighed, then shuffled over to the counter to begin chopping scallions to add to the stew.
But before he could start, he was interrupted by the afternoon courier, bearing a letter for him â of all people.
Emrys wiped his hands off on his apron, and took the letter from the boyâs fingers. It was unmarked, but the paper was old and worn. As if it had lived in someoneâs saddlebags for some time.
Emrys ripped it open, then read through it. Unable to keep a smile off his face.
That scoundrel.
He began to untie his apron, then headed out of the kitchen to go find Luca. Emrys couldnât really find it in himself to be disappointed in the prince, even if he had abandoned them. Had left Luca with his grief and his guilt.
The boy had finally told him and Malakai about what had happened, and they had talked and cried together into the wee hours of the morning. Even so, Emrys had really hoped that Rowan might be there to help Luca through that grief. He knew that Luca had too.
But it was not to be. Perhaps they might see each other again, in years to come. Perhaps Rowan might even be their king one day.
Emrys almost wanted to laugh. He could already see the scowl that would twist Malakaiâs face when he told him the news. Rowan, gone off to chase the future. Leaving them to tend to this little piece of the present.
When Emrys told Luca what was in the letter, the boy smiled too.
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Klaine Advent Drabble 2020 -Â âTo Tree or Not to Treeâ (Rated NC17)
Summary:Â When Blaine tells Kurt that they're going out to "get a tree", Kurt never imagined they'd be trekking up a freezing cold mountainside to chop one down. (2820 words)
Notes:Â A re-vamp for the @klaineadvent Drabble Challenge 2020 prompt 'farm'.
Read on AO3.
âOh. My. God!â Kurt groans, hopping out of his SUV and sinking up to his ankles in snow. âI thought you were kidding about this!â
âNope.â Blaine rounds to the hatch of Kurtâs Navigator and pops it. He unzips a duffel he brought with, one Kurt had hoped was filled with fun surprises like a picnic lunch that they could enjoy in the vehicle with the heater blasting before they braved the weather to get their Christmas tree from a quaint but upscale tree farm, the kind that smells strongly of cinnamon pine cones and which offers customers plastic flutes filled with sparkling cider as they pass over the threshold into an idyllic Winter Wonderland lit by twinkling white fairy lights beneath the cover of a gigantic canopy.Â
Heâd dressed entirely in brands that Vogue recently featured in their center spread and had planned on snapping a few shots for the website - kill two birds with one stone. Heâd even lent Blaine a few pieces heâd squirreled from The Vault. He could see the whole layout in his head. Behind his eyelids, the slideshow of images he had planned was fabulous.
But no.Â
Disturbingly, Blaine pulls out a wood-handled ax, along with a pair of safety goggles; thick, brown gloves; and some rope. He holds them up for Kurt to see. âTotally not kidding."
âDo we really have to cut down a tree?â Kurt asks, watching Blaine gear up, a one-man wrecking crew, leading Kurt to the conclusion that he should stay at the SUV and let Blaine go on this ridiculous errand alone.Â
âYes, we do.â Rope looped over his arm and dangling across his chest, Blaine hoists his ax over one shoulder and begins the journey, carving a neat path up the slowly rising incline as Kurt follows behind, contemplating his options. He has the keys. He could definitely implement the stay behind and keep the heater company fantasy. But there is the small matter of he loves Blaine. He would be miserable and lonely waiting hours in the SUV without him. Besides, considering how well Blaine fills out those North Face pants and Carhartt jacket, Kurt sees how he can make this work in his favor. The new outdoorsman, who can go from big city to big country in the blink of an eye (courtesy of the right separates).
Heâs not married to that headline, but he can hash it out as he goes.
âYou do know thereâs a Christmas tree farm right there,â Kurt points out, raising his voice to be heard over the howling wind. When Blaine peeks over his shoulder, Kurt throws out an arm in the direction that they came. Past the snow-covered asphalt lot, where Kurtâs SUV is currently one of five cars parked, stretch miles of evergreens, cut down and mounted onto wooden stands, waiting to be plucked, flocked, and paid for.
âCutting down a tree has been a tradition in my family since before I was born,â Blaine says.Â
Kurt looks at him sideways. âI ... didnât know that.â
âYup."
"How did I not know that? We've been married for three years!"
Blaine turns a full circle as he walks and gives Kurt a wink. "I guess I'm just full of surprises."
"You're full of something," Kurt mumbles under his breath.
"It's a tradition," Blaine continues, unaware of his husband's grousing. "One I want to hand down to our children someday.â
âCanât we get them a pony instead?â
âI recommend not stomping up this incline,â Blaine advises, changing the subject, âor youâre going to exhaust yourself. Iâm not sure I can carry you and a tree back down this mountain.â
"Hmph. Not with that attitude, you can't."
Itâs a crisp December day, almost too cold to bear. The difference in temperature between the city and where they ended up is so drastic, itâs hard to believe theyâre still in the same state. A perfect day to sit by the fire while binge-watching Netflix, with a cup of hot cocoa beside a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Kurt had everything he needed to make that happen, too, except the tree.Â
Kurt and Blaine had yet to have a day off together to pick one out.Â
So when Blaine came home, tossed Kurt a coat, and said, âGrab your keys! Weâre getting a tree!â Kurt had been ecstatic! Until he discovered that Blaineâs idea of âgetting a treeâ wasnât a simple matter of driving to a tree farm and picking out a decent six-foot Scotch Pine.Â
No.Â
Blaine had Kurt drive over an hour away from civilization to a place where there are no Starbucks, spotty WiFi, and no doors on the bathroom stalls.
The snow on the ground at this altitude is deep, becoming deeper as the slope of the mountain rises. And as breathtaking as the world looks from this elevation, Kurt hates everything about this. He hates the snow getting into his boots, soaking his three pairs of socks. He hates the wind that seems to purposefully sweep down the mountain straight into his face. Blaine walking ahead, right in front of him, does nothing to provide a barrier from the wind.
Thatâs because Blaine is loving this. And as a reward, the wind must be going right through him.
Blaine leads them deeper into woods that climb higher and higher. Even though the man who greeted them at the entrance, dressed in head-to-toe red flannel and brown corduroy, directed them up the mountain, saying this was the place locals preferred to get their trees, Blaine and Kurt donât see anyone else past the tree line. The air gets thinner. The sunlight off the snow is brighter, blindingly bright, but it doesnât offer Kurt or his rapidly chapping cheeks any warmth. He folds his arms over his chest and shoves his gloved hands underneath his armpits, but it doesnât help thaw the tips of his fingers, which he canât feel anymore.
âThere are trees everywhere up here!â Kurt complains.
âYeah! Isnât it great!â
âPick one! What are you doing?â Kurt gripes when they pass a swath of gorgeous trees and yet keep walking.
âI'm searching.â
âFor what?â
âIâm looking for the perfect tree.â
âAnd what constitutes the perfect tree, in your opinion? Because from what I can see, we passed over two dozen perfect trees getting here!â
âWhen you see the perfect tree, youâll know the perfect tree.â
Kurt has no idea what the heck that means but decides not to ask for clarification in an effort to get them off this frickinâ mountain and home quicker. Home equals warmth, comfort, and not succumbing to hypothermia. âWell, what about this one?â Kurt asks, pointing to a tree on his right.
âOoo! Thatâs a good one!â Blaine says.
âReally?â Kurt asks, surprised that he got it right on the first try. Maybe he has a knack for this, like his knack for fashion. He does have an eye for aesthetics. âSo this is the perfect tree?â
âNope.â
Kurt stumbles. "Oh." He did not expect that answer. Eager to prevail, he points out another one. âThis one?â
âNo.â
âO-kay, what about this one?â
âNot quite, but good try.â
Kurt would throw his hands up in frustration, but his arms are locked in place, hugging his chest.Â
âHow did you become the tree authority?â
âYears of practice.â
âIf youâre the one with the tree picking knowledge, what am I doing here that I couldnât do at home where we have eggnog and cable?â
âYou get to marvel in awe at my magnificent strength and skill.â
âI canât help but remind you that I could be marveling at your strength and skill at home while you hold me up against the wall in our bedroom and make love to me.â
âTrue. But seeing as we did that all of last night and Mr. Mulroney has the night shift tonight, I thought it would be nice if we let the poor man sleep.â
âThe walls in our apartment are thin, arenât they?â
âThey really are.â
They pass through a tight cluster of trees and enter a small clearing, coming upon a scene right out of a Hallmark Channel movie. God rays shine through the foliage overhead, lighting a single tree in the center. In the quiet of this enclosed glade, Kurt canât hear the whistling wind, and he immediately begins to feel warmer. All they need now are cartoon animals bringing them presents and an angelic choir singing carols and theyâll be starring in their own Christmas special.Â
It would be ideal, Kurt thinks, considering heâs a motherless child and heâs standing beside an elf. He puts a pin in it, with a plan to write up a treatment as soon as they get back to their apartment.
Provided he doesnât lose any of his fingers before then.
Blaine tosses the rope aside. He walks reverently up to the center tree and stops in front of it. He opens his arms wide, ax clutched in his right fist. âHere,â he declares. âHere it is.â
Kurt looks at the tree in front of them, then at all the identical trees surrounding it. âHere what is?â
âOur perfect tree.â
âAnd what makes this tree any different from the sixty or more trees we passed hiking up here?â
âThis oneâs fuller, more symmetrical, with an almost pyramid top.â When Kurt doesnât immediately agree, Blaine motions to the tree more vehemently, trying to get his point across. âItâs just more ⌠more tree than those other trees. More Christmas âŚâ Blaine turns to his husband standing off to the side behind him, arms crossed, head tilted. Blaine sighs. âYou obviously donât know your Christmas trees. If you canât see why this oneâs superior, I donât know how to explain it to you.â
Kurt shakes his head. âSorry.âÂ
âYouâll see the difference when itâs up in our apartment.â Blaine grips his ax with both hands and gets into position. âOkay! Stand back!â
âYou donât need to tell me twice. I love you, Blaine, but I have no intention of getting anywhere near you and that instrument of death.âÂ
Kurt takes a step back, then three more as Blaine hoists the ax behind him. Kurt fishes his iPhone out of his pocket, preparing to document what is either going to be the sexiest thing Blaine has ever done, or evidence for the investigators who might try to pin Blaine's grisly death on him. Either way, watching Blaine attempt to chop down a tree might actually be worth wet socks and a nightmare case of the flu.
Kurt holds up his phone with the camera app accessed, ready to film as Blaine takes his first swing, which, surprisingly, buries the blade a respectable depth into the wood. But itâs the pullback that gets Kurt, the way Blaine locks his feet in the snow, bends at the knees, and dislodges the ax. Kurt canât see Blaineâs back through his coat, but he imagines the play of his muscles, the rise and fall of his shoulders, the cut of his delts showing through as they strain with effort. Kurt has seen Blaine naked over a hundred times, has watched the man make love to him in videos theyâve made. He envisions everything going on beneath Blaineâs clothes as he swings that ax ⌠and the frigid air around him doesn't feel quite as cold anymore.
âMmmm âŚâ Kurt hits record and focuses his camera on his husbandâs assets. After a minute of chopping, Blaine realizes Kurt has stopped commenting. He lowers his ax and takes a breather, catching the tail end of his husband's complimentary hum.
âMmmm what?â Blaine turns, curious to see what Kurt has been doing thatâs kept him quiet this whole time. He raises an eyebrow when he sees the phone in Kurtâs hands. âAre you ... recording me?â
âMaybe,â Kurt says, biting his lower lip. âYou know, now that I get a good look at it, you did find the best tree on the mountain. And watching you cut it down is becoming a massive turn on. You being all lumberjack-ish is kind of hot.â
Blaine grins, leveling the ax over his shoulder. âOnly kind of?â
âWell, yeah.â Kurt switches off his camera app and puts his phone back in his pocket, seeing a make-out break forthcoming. âThe walk up the mountain took a lot out of me.â
Blaine leans his ax against the trunk of a tree and saunters up to his husband. âWell then ⌠perhaps I can put something in you.â
Kurt snorts. âOkay, thatâs cheesy as hell ... but I wish you would."
With a suggestive smile on his frosty lips, Blaine wraps one arm around Kurtâs waist and pulls him closer, his other hand reaching between them to fondle the bulge growing in the front of Kurtâs jeans. He tugs at the buttons of Kurtâs fly, and Kurt knows Blaine has more on his mind than kissing. He shoots an anxious look around their private nook. âWhat? Here?â
âWhy not? Weâre alone. Thereâs no one else around. No one will see us or hear us. You can scream all you want.â
âWhen you put it like that, it sounds like we're in a horror movie!"
"Is that your only objection?"
"No. I'm objecting because itâs freezing!â
âCome on âŚâ Blaine takes off his gloves and begins unbuttoning Kurtâs wet coat, starting at the middle and working down. âIâm not going to strip us naked or anything. Besides, youâll warm up in no time. You know what they say about body heat âŚâ
âThis reminds me of one of those bad amateur porn videos on the Internet. The ones that try to have a storyline, but the acting is so awful it turns into a comedy?â
âAs a professional actor, I think I take offense to that.â Blaine nuzzles past Kurtâs icy jaw and into the warm skin of his neck. âWhat videos are you watching anyway?â
âI can show you. Maybe we can ⌠you know ⌠watch one or two ⌠when we get home âŚâ Kurt stutters, shivering when Blaineâs cold lips connect with his flesh, then melting beneath the heat of his husbandâs tongue. Blaine walks Kurt backward, away from their half-chopped pine to the shelter of a different tree, moving them a safe distance on the off chance the poor thing decides to finish itself off without their help.
âOh, God! Kurt!â Blaine moans, warming his hands by wedging them between the soft skin of Kurtâs groin and his growing erection.
âBlaine,â Kurt murmurs as his husband sucks a mark into the sensitive skin of his collarbone, âI just ⌠I just want you to know that ⌠if we freeze to death ⌠or get eaten by a bear ⌠Iâm blaming you entirely.â
Blaine grabs Kurtâs trembling hands and brings them to the zipper of his pants. âFair enough.â
***
âWelp. That was less than memorable,â Kurt grumbles, trying to re-button his jeans with numb fingers. âI hope that doesnât become part of the tradition.â
âFor the ninth time, IÂ slipped!â an embarrassed Blaine says, teeth chattering, rushing to help Kurt do up his now useless coat. âI didnât mean for us to take a nose dive into the snow!â
âWho would have thunk that fucking on ice would be dangerous!?" Kurt says sarcastically. "Christ! I must look like a wet French poodle!"
"That's ... oddly specific."
In an attempt to salvage the look he had going, Kurt tries combing his fingers through his hair but hits resistance. âUgh! I think Iâve got sap in my hair.â He tugs and tugs, abandoning his attempts with a huff after he manages to get his fingers free ⌠along with a sizeable chunk of hair.Â
âFucking on ice,â Blaine repeats with a chuckle. âThat sounds like an X-rated skating show.â
Kurt glares at his husband, unamused. âYeah. Hilarious. Can we go back to getting our perfect tree now, Grizzly Adams?â
âI donât know âŚâ Blaine looks at the tree theyâd been fucking against before his enthusiastic thrusting caused them to slip and take a header into the snow. âI think I like this one now.â He pats the trunk, shaking loose a minor avalanche from the branches that contains more needles than snow.
Kurt steps back, making a face as he judges the less than spectacular tree. âWhy?â
âWe had sex on it. That makes it ours.â
âThis isnât a department store, Blaine. I donât think you break it, you buy it applies here.â
âI think this falls more under the guidelines of I licked it, now itâs mine.â
âI understand the sentiment, but this oneâs got a dent in it.â Kurt snickers. âA dent shaped like your ass.â
âThatâs a good thing,â Blaine says, walking off to retrieve his ax. âWeâll know which side to face toward the wall.â
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Puppets - XXII - Recoup and Rearm
The sun is beginning to disappear over the trees by the time Massachusetts returns to the center of camp. Ute creates a firepit with a circle of stones and dry leaves and plant matter thrown into the center.
"What do you think we should do now?" Russia asks.
"We shouldn't travel after sunset. You should stay here for the night. We can find the road tomorrow after sunrise," Ute says, retrieving two stones and striking them together. Sparks flew, and the leaves ignited.
Canada throws some small twigs into the fire, and Ute looks up. "Russia, can you take one of the states and collect some larger pieces of wood. I have an extra ax in my Tepee that you can use," Ute says to Russia, gesturing briefly to the Tepee that was the most separate from the group of tents. Russia nods.
"I'll go," Louisiana volunteers.
Russia agrees, and after some careful snooping, he locates the ax and pulls it out. The tomahawk is small, with a handle around the size of Russia's forearm, but the blade is sharp enough to draw blood.
Popping out of the tent, he raises the tool in the air and calls, "this?"
"Yes, that works. Try not to scuff it," Ute responds.
"Thank you," Russia says before turning to Louisiana with a nod.
"Wait," Massachusetts calls, causing Russia to pause and turning back to the fire, "don't go too far. The protection spell I cast isn't very large, so try to stay close to us."
"You got it, Massy," Lousiana says.
Russia starts toward the treeline, Louisiana, walking next to him, keeping pace. Russia begins scanning his surroundings for any large, dead trees that would supply them with wood. After walking out a short ways, he turns, and he and Louisiana circle around the camp. They aren't able to see the fire but can both still hear Texas' booming laughter.
Dusk lights up the trees in shades of orange and pink, and the sky begins to grow darker.
Finally, Russia sees a large, bare tree surrounded by brown pine needles near the cliff edge. He points to it with the tomahawk. "That will work," he comments to Louisiana, who hums in agreement. Russia gets to work, cutting out a wedge from the trunk that reaches to about the middle of the tree. Then, he circles the tree and begins chopping away, separating it from the roots.
Once the tree falls, he chops off the branches to collect manageable logs to take back with them and hands them to Louisiana to hold. Then, he spots a branch that catches his eye. It's a straight branch, with a uniform diameter, that would make a good baton. He hacks at the base and chops off the other extending branches. The remaining stick is around six centimeters in diameter and just short of a meter long.
Placing the staff aside, he chops enough wood to sustain the fire for at least a few hours. He grabs the staff and some of the larger logs, the tomahawk tucked under an arm. Louisiana and Russia walk back to the camp.
A few minutes into their journey, Russia heard Louisiana fall, and he spins around to see what had happened. She has tripped on the skeleton of a large animal. Most bones had been broken for the marrow, but a few of them still seem intact. Louisiana stands and collects herself before examining the carcass. She hums to herself before picking up the largest of the bones, steadying it in her hand.
She swings it through the air, grinning. "This would make a good bat. What do you think, Russ?"
Russia chuckles. "I think we should get back to the camp before it gets too dark. You can take it with you if you like."
Louisiana nods happily and collects the wood she'd dropped along with the bone. Walking quickly, they made it back to the campsite before dark. Louisiana dumps the timber she was holding onto the small pile next to Ute, and she plucks the bone from the heap. She turns around with a smile and hands it to Texas.
"Here ya go, Tazzy. I know you loved your bat, but this would be a good substitute," she says.
"Really!?" Texas exclaims happily. He hops up from his spot, taking it from Louisiana. He swung it experimentally before pulling her into a brief hug.
"Yup. It's all yours, little bro," Louisiana says once Texas releases her.
"Thank you!" Texas says, happily swinging it around.
Massachusetts ducks. "Will you watch where you're swinging that thing?!"
"Oh. Sorry Massy," Texas apologizes, lowering the bone to his side. Massachusetts rolls his eyes at the nickname.
"Anyway, I tried to fix your crowbar, but it too busted to be fixed," Massachusetts says apologetically, kicking at a mangled bar of metal toward Russia.
Russia shrugs, but he internally wishes that he had some weapon as a replacement. He hands the tomahawk to Ute and drops the wood into the pile. He then takes the shaft he found and looks at it contemplatively.
"Good find," Ute comments over his shoulder. Russia jumps, and he turns to look at Ute curiously. Ute holds out a hand. "Here. Give it to me," Ute says, and Russia complies, a little confused. Ute takes it and disappears into his Tepee for a few moments before reappearing with a knife, strands of what looked like string, the stick, and what seemed to Russia like an arrowhead.
"That's a great idea!" Canada says excitedly.
"Do you want to do it?" Ute asks, walking over to the fire.
"Only if I get to keep it," Canada says. Ute shrugs and hands the supplies to Canada.
"Just return the knife when you're done," Ute says before taking his seat by the firewood.
Canada begins carving into one end and makes a spear with a sharp, metal tip. Russia would admit, it makes him feel a little jealous at his own lack of a weapon, but he bites his tongue. It must have still shown on his face because Ute hands Russia the hatchet he had used earlier.
"Isn't this yours?"
"I have another. This is the right size for you," Ute says, insisting Russia to take it.
"How do you know it is the right size?"
"It is the size of your forearm. It was always too large for me," Ute comments.
"Thank you."
Eventually, Massachusetts tells the others that he would keep watch. Russia falls into a fitful sleep. He wakes up a few hours later and walks out to the fire. Massachusetts is sitting in the firelight, reading a large, beaten book, using a small ball of light in his hand to read. Russia sits down next to him.
"Why are you up?" Massachusetts asks, not looking up.
"Couldn't sleep," Russia answers.
Massachusetts hums and sets his book aside, dismissing the ball of light. Massachusetts looks up at Russia, and Russia feels startled by how lost the teen looks.
"Do you think my Dad is okay?" Massachusetts asks.
Russia is quiet for a moment. "Your father is stubborn. He is also very strong. He will be alright."
"I hope so," Massachusetts says before leaning against Russia's arm. "I miss him. I know I'm one of the older kids. I got to be stable for the youngsters, you know? But I'm really f***ing scared. We've already almost died, and we found nothing. F***ing nothing! Sorry. I shouldn't be screaming. I just want to find Dad and make sure he's okay."
Russia wasn't sure what to do, but he felt the need to comfort the state. He wraps an arm around Massachusetts, and Massachusetts turns to hug him back. After a few moments, Massachusetts lets go, and Russia pulls his arm back.
"Thanks," Massachusetts mumbles.
"I will take the rest of the shift. You should sleep," Russia says. Massachusetts stays for a few more minutes before grabbing his book and retreating into the tent.
"Good night," Massachusetts says with a wave before disappearing into his Tepee. Russia sits up for the rest of the night, simply waiting for the sun to rise.
~
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If Only In My Dreams (Fraserâs Ridge Christmas)
Rating: General Audiences
Also Read On: AO3
Summary:Â Jamie and Claire spend their first holiday together on the Ridge, and Claire teaches him a bit about modern Christmas.
Authorâs Note:Â Merry Christmas to all the readers who celebrate! I've wanted to give you all a little Fraser's Ridge for a while now, and this was the perfect time to do it. Thank you so much to my wife who read it first, who reads all my fic first and encourages me when I'm not very sure of myself.
Also, thank you so much to @smashing-teacupsâ for quick reading this before spending the day with her family! I'm so incredibly lucky to have friends in this fandom that mean an incredible amount to me. Thank you all for being here and for reading!
If Only In My Dreams
Their first winter in their first home sees Jamie chopping wood more often than not in order to keep the fire going. The fact that itâs a holiday doesnât matter; they still need warmth. But after splitting logs for over an hour, Jamie takes a break, letting his axe rest. Eyeing the horizon, he absently rubs one hand over his shoulder, rolling his neck and deciding to consider himself finished for the day. Once heâs loaded his tools and a bundle of wood onto Clarence, they trudge home together, snow lightly falling. The closer they get, the easier it is to detect the smell of something good and hearty cooking, and Jamie clicks his tongue, quickening his pace. Christmas Eve, and all that he wants is to be home now with his wife.
He and Claire hadnât ever managed to spend Hogmanay at Lallybroch, but here, they can celebrate holidays in the home he built for them, for her, and she can teach him the different ways his daughter enjoyed this time of year. Heâs thinking of her as he drops his bundle of firewood by the side of the house, then leads the donkey back to the small stable. Customarily, walking up the front steps of his home would have him removing his boots at the door, but tonight, his wife is waiting. That in and of itself isnât unusual, but the fact that she doesnât move to embrace him is, along with the sly grin on her face as she stands just behind the threshold, beckoning him in.
âWelcome home,â she innocently announces, taking a very measured step backward.
For a brief moment, Jamieâs sure sheâs about to ask him to remove his boots, but when she doesnât, an eyebrow arches, one foot tentatively stepping inside their home, damp sole and all. âYe seem verra pleased to see me, Sassenach,â he begins cautiously.
Barely out of the doorway, Claire reaches out, yanking him down into a hard (and quite thorough) kiss. Without missing a beat, his arms wrap around his wife, yielding to her tongue until he finally parts from her with a shallow gasp.
Itâs quite an ego boost, she realizes, to make him breathless with just a kiss.
âNoâ that I dinnae appreciate being greeted this way, but what have I done to deserve it?â Typically, a kiss that torrid is immediately accompanied by trying to undress him.
She grins, then simply shrugs innocently. âDo you need to have done anything in particular?â
âWeel, no, but âtis a rare day when ye let me on yer floors wiâ muddy boots. Either Iâm dreaming, or my birthdayâs come sooner than I realized, and I ken I was born on May the first.â Even if he couldnât remember the date, heâd met her the day after his birthday -- a belated gift he hadnât even known he wanted, then.
At the mention of his boots, the spell seems to be broken and she shoos him back to the porch. âAlright, youâve had your time inside with them. Off!â
âWill I receive another kiss when I come back inside?â Jamie asks with a cheeky grin, sitting to unbuckle his boots, then tugging them off.
âWill you?â Leaning against the door frame, she tries to keep a neutral look of uncaring on her face, losing the battle to a grin that wants to turn into happy laughter.
Rising from the chair, Jamie begins unbuttoning his coat as he walks inside again. â I think I verra well might, even if I still dinnae ken exactly whatâs gotten into ye. Iâm noâ sure I care.â
Sheâs laughing when she kisses him again, though this one is much tamer than the last, and when she pulls back, her nose nuzzles lightly against his. âMerry Christmas.â
He hums softly, finding her lips again before stepping back to remove his coat and close the door behind him. âThis is a Christmas tradition, then? Cannae say I dislike it myself, but...does everyone participate?â
It takes half a second for Claire to realize he means Brianna. âWe were under the mistletoe,â she informs him as she points up at the doorway. âYouâre to kiss who youâre with, but, a kiss to the cheek will suffice.â Heâs such a father without even meeting Bree, and it makes her heart ache for a moment.
âIâve heard of hanging it in homes. Weel, that druids do, to ward off evil and bring good luck. I dinnae recall stories of anyone kissing under it, but I enjoy it. Anythinâ to have a reason tae kiss ye senseless.â
When he takes a moment to do just that, Claire gladly allows him to take the lead, melting against his chest until the sound of his stomach growling pulls her out of it. âCome sit down and eat, Jamie. Is it my turn to do the entertaining?â On the evenings they feel up to it, they take turns telling stories over supper; fictional or real, sometimes anecdotes from the past twenty years, and other times they share dreams of the future.
âAye, though Iâll take my supper by the fire, if ye dinnae mind. My bawls feel about the same as when ye press yer cold feet to them.â He keeps going, even at the look she gives him. âMy shoulderâs aching a bit, too. Noâ to mention my hand.â The cold weather isnât kind to his body.
Claire shifts gears immediately, her face softening as she pulls a chair closer to the fire. âIâll rub your shoulder while you eat,â she offers. âAnd your hand, after, if holding the bowl and the heat donât loosen it up first.â She gets him settled, a bowl of stew placed in his hands before quietly tucking a blanket around his legs. Then, she moves behind him, taking a moment to drop a kiss to the top of his head. His curls are still cold, but she lingers a moment before beginning to rub his shoulder.
Quietly, Jamie eats (rabbit stew, one of his favorites), then takes note of the wreath on the back of their door, the red bows and garland over the mantle. âI like the way yeâve decorated,â he praises. âIâve seen some of the same in town, âtis all bonny. But I enjoy even more that things are the same in your time, that Brianna would ken what all of it is.â
âThereâs a bit more, like chopping down a pine tree and decorating it with lights and ornaments,â she explains softly.
âIâve seen the trees in town,â Jamie perks up, recognizing what she means, but as he looks around their small home, he realizes why she hasnât asked for one.
âIn a year or two, Sassenach, yeâll have a grand place to put a decorated tree,â he promises.
As her fingers find the place she knows bothers him most, she massages his shoulder, smiling to herself. âWhat I like about all of this, is that now I get to share these things with you.â Something she dreamed of for years, but never thought would or even could happen.
Jamie hums in the back of his throat, a note of acknowledgment. âWhat sort of things did Brianna do for the holiday?â he asks, taking another bite of warm, hearty stew.
âWell, we would take care of the tree, then hang stockings over the fireplace to fill with small gifts,â she recalls, still rubbing his shoulder idly.
Jamie imagines it quietly before his eyes narrow and something from long ago clicks. â...Stockings. A nighean, do ye remember three evenings after our wedding, our camp was ambushed?â
Claire looks down as she thinks, mostly recalling their inability to keep their hands off one another directly after their marriage. Sheâs touched though, that he recalls things from so long ago. âI think so. You said the horses were spooked.â
âJust before that, yeâd said stockings would be hanging by the fire for the Yule. I thought ye meant for laundry but now I ken ye meant somethinâ else.â
Letting out a bark of a laugh, Claire leans down to kiss the top of his head again, pleased to find him warmer now. âYou have a memory like a bloody elephant. But youâre right. Itâs tradition to find an oversized stocking and hang it on the mantle. The idea is that Santa Claus will come down the chimney and fill it with small toys and candy, you see.â
âAh, aye, the jolly fat version of Saint Nicholas,â Jamie says dryly. âDid Brianna believe in such a thing?â
âWhat, Santa?â Claire squints in thought. âNot for long. Sheâs very clever, our daughter. The first year she was onto it, she was six and tried to stay awake all night. The next year, she very nearly caught me putting presents under the tree, but luckily, seven-year-olds donât know much about stealth.â
âClearly she wasna getting anywhere by trying to outlast ye through the night,â Jamie says as leans down to put his mostly empty bowl on the floor beside the chair. âIâll wager the next year, she did something different.â
For a moment, Claireâs struck by how well this man knows a child heâd hardly had time to realize existed before losing her. But then, heâs only thinking of what he would do, and itâs not a leap to assume Bree would have the same train of thought.
âShe did, she outsmarted us. She wrote a letter listing everything she wanted and gave it to me to send to the North Pole.â At Jamieâs baffled expression over his shoulder at her, Claire clarifies. âItâs where Santa lives, you see.â
âIâm noâ sure why it matters, but Iâm following,â he tries helpfully.
âWell, really, that letter was a list so that we knew what Brianna wanted for Christmas. What we didnât know was that sheâd already written a letter at school that was supposedly sent to Santa.â
âShe wrote two different lists?â
Claire grins at Jamie. âShe wrote two different lists.â Sighing contently at the memory, she shakes her head. âBrianna does love Christmas, though. She loves decorating and all of the baking.â
When she goes quiet, Jamie lightly tugs at Claireâs hand to beckon her around, guiding her to sit on his knee. He pauses, not wanting to encourage the sadness, only memories. âWhat were typical gifts for her?â
Letting her fingers play with his curls, she hums in thought. âToys, when she was younger, mostly. Clothes here and there that she was only interested in with age.â At five, clothing items were the most boring, but at fifteen, she never minded new clothes for the new year. âWhen she was older, she would ask for bigger things. One year, she asked for roller skates. I was worried sheâd do nothing but break an arm or leg.â
âA dangerous gift?â
âWell, roller skates are a novelty thing for fun. Theyâre like shoes, but with wheels on the bottom, so that you glide on the ground.â
âOch, Iâve seen such contraptions, now that ye say as such.â Theyâre not a new concept, but theyâre uncommon enough that Jamie has never seen them in action.
âWhen she was even older, all she wanted was money to go buy whatever she wanted, or to spend time with her friends.â And then, things were much quieter, just the two of them. Sheâd been at a loss for what to get a young woman who missed her father dearly, and so had settled on simple things, nothing truly sentimental.
Perhaps if sheâd known their Christmases were limited, she would have tried harder.
Quiet for a beat too long, Claire clears her throat and meets Jamieâs eyes again. âShe was always grateful. Thatâs the important thing.â
âI ken ye miss her all the time,â Jamie murmurs softly, thumb gliding along the apple of her cheek. âBut it must be even worse, right now.â
Absently, Claire begins to rub Jamieâs hand, her thumb massaging his palm. âFrom October to January she was practically glowing with excitement when she was a little girl. She loved playing in the snow, even if her favorite activities were in the summer.â Claire could keep going at length about Bree, but she worries, sometimes, that it hurts Jamie, to hear of all the moments he couldnât be a part of. She tries to pull back a bit, to make a connection between him and his daughter.
âShe always laughed and yelped when I stuck my cold fingers into the collar of her coat to get to her neck,â she recalls with a smile. âJust like you do, when you arenât swearing,â she finishes with a tease.
Jamie smiles softly to himself, leaning back in the chair to look up at his wife. âDid ye always like this time of year as well? Even before Brianna?â
âI only ever had a proper Christmas a handful of times,â Claire murmurs, her thumb gliding along his jaw idly. âI donât remember any holidays with my parents. And with my Uncle, we observed whichever traditions were celebrated wherever we happened to be.â
And she hadnât really gotten to celebrate a Christmas with Frank during the war, though she doesnât mention that.
âSo, it meant more to ye then, after Brianna,â Jamie notes.
âShe made everything mean more.â The first Christmas especially, when Claire was only just coming out of a black hole of grief. Leaning forward, she presses her forehead against Jamieâs. âAnd now, I get to spend my holidays with you.â
âAye,â he acknowledges, raising his lips to her forehead to press a soft kiss there. âI miss her, but itâs noâ the same. Ye have the memories, the moments to miss.â He only has the idea of them.
âIt might not be the same, Jamie, but it isnât any less. You love our daughter as much as I do, I know it.â Letting out a soft breath, she closes her eyes and lets go of one more thought.
âI wish there were a way for her to know weâre alright. That you and I are together, and that weâre well.â Brianna wouldnât even know to look for any history in America. As far as she knows, her mother is in Scotland.
Jamie has no good answer for her, but unprompted, he speaks quietly. âI tried to guess the best I could when yeâd be having our bairn. Couldna move or do much of anything while I was healing, after Culloden. I realized the wean would be born a bit after your birthday. I chose a day and I prayed each year, tried to imagine what our child had accomplished already.â
Of course he tried to calculate their childâs birth, and Claireâs heart breaks all the more with loving him. She kisses his cheeks as he exhales, then nuzzles her nose along his.
âHer first Christmas, she was barely a month old and still so small. I was always worried about her being too cold, that winter. New mother nerves, I suppose. I always held her in my arms, so bundled up that she was more blanket than baby,â she chuckles softly.
âWhat about that last Christmas?â Jamie asks, thumb stroking her hip idly over her skirts.
Claire takes a deep breath, then lets it out softly. âYou mean the hardest one of my life?â She looks at him, eyes soft.
Abandoning her hip, Jamie reaches out to cradle her face, quietly tugging her closer until he can press a soft kiss against her forehead. The crackling fire in the room is the only sound filling the silence until he finally speaks once more.
âYe gave up so much for me Claire,â he murmurs huskily. âIf I could find a way to give ye all ye wanted, I would. I would bring you our daughter--â He stops abruptly, clearing his throat.
She knows if either one of them begins to cry itâs over for both of them.
âYou gave me our daughter. And she gave me back to you. Iâll have a hard time topping that Christmas gift,â she says in an attempt at humor, though her own voice is suspiciously thick.
âYou were able to give her a good life, Claire,â he murmurs, nuzzling her cheek tenderly. âI enjoy hearing about it, about everything ye were able to do for her.â
Sitting up straighter, Claire reaches out to tug at one of his curls tenderly, sighing softly.
âDo you want to know something else about our daughter?â She doesnât wait for his answer before continuing. âShe would be cross with us for being gloomy right now. She would say âMama, you and Jamie are together and youâre wasting time being sad when Iâm totally fine.ââ
âTotally,â Jamie murmurs, though the corner of his mouth turns up in a smile.
âJust like that. Only less Scottish.â
She makes him chuckle, and once more, their foreheads press together as he breathes her in.
âThank ye for remembering her wiâ me.â He plants a kiss on Claireâs shoulder tenderly. Looking up, he meets his wifeâs gaze. âMerry Christmas, Sassenach.â
Leaning in, her lips press to his in a soft, tender kiss.
âMerry Christmas, Jamie.â
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Stalking Jack
Hey, look what I found on an old flash drive! I guess that counts as âwords Iâve lost - and foundâ I donât even have a place to post original fic any more. Might as well put it here. I wrote this when I was very depressed. I still think itâs *interesting* if not necessarily *good* CONTENT WARNINGS: suggested child abuse, hints at sexual abuse, suggested violence. -----
  "My real mother would never make me do that," you say to me.
  All children tell themselves secretly that they have other, better, parents somewhere -- kinder, grander, more exciting -- or so I have heard.  I never did, but then I was never one for daydreaming.  Not like you.  Most children are not brave enough, cruel enough, to speak that story aloud.
  You, however, stand before me, your eyes now level with mine, your father's broad jaw jutting forward, and cross wiry arms against a chest that is no longer quite so thin. You repeat, "My real mother would allow me to stay."  To hide the trembling, you push your hand through that ragged straw hair with its gleam of sunrise, covering your eyes so I do not see the hurt.  O my careless burden, my Jack, your words slice my heart in two, and it falls empty to the dirt floor between us; but no blame spills out, no blame at all.
  How can I blame you for denying me, denying this the home I made for you?  We are dirty and dark, rough and ramshackle, no place for you, O my shining youth, my shame, all sunlight and softness and the sweet drone of summer bees.  Surely you could not have sprung from between these splintered thighs, slipped from this chinked womb. Â
  "Good.  Then ask your real mother for food and a fire," I say harshly.  Like this hovel, I have no shelter left to offer, and the Spring turning is still many weeks away.  "Go and find work, for there is nothing more for you here."
  Your eyes, molten gold, flow away from mine. "There's still the cow.  I could take her to the knacker's yard."
  "What?  She is all that I have left from..."  I do not finish. I do not think of the time before.
  "She is too old.  She is useless.  She requires feed and water and gives no milk in return."
  "She is not yours to sell."  This is true.  The cow had been a gift to me, a calf then, with eyes as warm and whimsical as a promise of faithfulness and fertility.  It is also true that she is now withered and dry.  I am still not ready to let her go.  "You would kill her to purchase a few more days of idle scribbling?"
  At that, your eyes flash.  "I am not idle!"  You shake your hand at me, still gripping the stick of charcoal you use to etch your fancies on scraps of wood and bark.  "You have never understood.  You have never cared about what is important to me!"
  No, I do not understand you, O my strange one, my changeling child.  How you drink tales and eat stories, how you exhaust yourself from your pretend battles and lie spent, bleeding words from a thousand invisible cuts.  But still the ice in my chest melts before your fire.  "See that you get a good price for her, then," is all I say.
  But when you return the next evening, you bring me no cheese for our supper, no wood for our fire.  No copper coins to purchase a few more tomorrows.  Instead, you show me a fist filled with foolish fancies, and your mouth drips with dreams like poisoned honey.  A strange man, you tell me, a man with flaxen hair and the eyes of a lion, met you on the forest path and offered you great things. You traded my cow, my past, for his promises and plans.
  I say nothing. You chatter on nonsensically, but I cannot hear you over the howling in my ears and I cannot see you for the darkness in my eyes. I take your folly and fling it out the door, scattering your daydreams like dirt in our yard, and you fall silent, and I think that now the rage in your heart will choke the hunger in your belly. Â
  Maybe this time your stories are true.  Maybe you are not my son.
  In the morning you are gone.  You have followed this stranger's ensnaring lures, I tell myself.  Trapped in the clinging vines of your own imaginings, you climb them into the clouds of fairytales, the fog of let's-pretend.
  I hope that someone will feed you there.
  As for me, I search beneath my pillow for my small bag of precious things:  a faded blue ribbon, a crumbled flower wrapped in a yellowing scrap of lace, many tiny ivory teeth that tumble onto my hand, biting into the palm.  There is also the ring, the one your father gave me six months before you were born.  I use my own teeth to pry out the stone, sparkling topaz, like his eyes, like your eyes. It glitters like the deceitful endings of your magpie daydreams, and I close my fist tightly. The Travelers will come by soon, when the Winter rains end.  Perhaps they will trade me supplies and seeds for the empty silver band.
  Weeks later, I am digging in my new garden with a stout sharpened stick.  You return to me, your golden eyes blazing like the sun reflected in the puddles all around me. Sitting in the doorway, you watch me kneel in the mud, and spin me fantastic tales of a giant's mansion, filled with amazing treasures. No, you did not see the giant, you admit; but you met his woman, a delicate, fragile, timid thing.  She pitied you, you say.  She fed you, and cosseted you, and hid you when the giant returned, his voice like thunder.  The woman told you to run, and you did, ran all the way back to me.
  "And look what she gave me!"  Your voice cracks like ice with excitement, as you shove a small purse into my hands. "Gold! Jewels! She says that all the giant's fortune shall be mine!"
  I look inside, and my eyes see only the dull gleam of brass buttons and bright shining beads.  O my besotted fool, my dreamer.  When have you ever seen real gold, real jewels, so that you should recognize them?  But then, when have I?
  I say nothing.  Instead I give you hot soup, made from the wild onions and cattails I have gathered near the lake.  You eat three bowls' worth, scowling all the while, comparing the meal to the rich scraps from the giant's table.  "But you shall eat such food now, shall you not?" you tease me. You insist that you must go back on the morrow, to fetch me more wealth from the giant's store.
  When you have left, I pull out my last set of spare sheets.  The cotton is soft from many washings, but still not worn through.  I boil the cloth with the onion peelings until it is the color of ripe wheat, of new butter, of your father's hair, your hair, shimmering under the smoking tallow-dips as you struggle to soothe your frantic fantasies to lay quivering, flat upon the page. I cut and pin and stitch it into a fine dress, such as an alderman's wife might wear, and sew the buttons you brought me down the front and sleeves.  Tomorrow I will bring this into town, and see if I can trade it for an iron trowel. Â
  It is only two weeks later when you return again. I am searching the ground for fallen sticks to burn; although the days are warmer now, it still grows cold at night. "My father!" you shout as you rush to me. "The giant's woman told me of my father!"  Your words spray out like stones from beneath a cart wheel.  I flinch as they strike me.  Your father, you say, your real father, was a great man, a fine lord, a king! Indeed, he was the true owner of the grand house where you have been hiding for so many days. The giant came and slew him, and cast you, his infant heir, away into poverty and filth.  Surely, you ask me, it is your duty to reclaim all that should be yours by right?
  My duty is to feed you.  I grind acorns dug from the beneath the bracken and set to boil for hours.  They taste bitter and flat, so I stir in a handful of dried berries and the last of the windfallen apples.  You wolf down the porridge and grimace, but then you grin at me, like you are hiding the most delicious secret.  "Look at what I brought you from the giant's house this time!"  You thrust an odd bundle of carved sticks and wires into my hands, fingers stained brown and purple from cooking.  You tell me that this is a harp, that I can hang it in the doorway, and the wind will make it sing with marvelous, magical tunes. You say that it will make me less dull, make my days pass quickly and my sleep more restful.
  I say nothing.  You are so pleased with yourself and your gift.  O my heartless poet, my clown, what need have I now for music? Your father whistled haunting melodies to me once, when I was young and lovely, and I would hum them back to you as you suckled greedily at my breast, to put you to sleep so your father could have his turn.  If I want songs I can go listen to the senseless yammerings of the forest birds. My days are too short and my dreams too empty as it is.
  When you are gone the next morning, I turn the little device over in my hand, recalling your tales of talismans and triumph with a sour smile. I take the beads you brought me, and string them on my old blue ribbon, wrapping it around and around the delicate wooden frame.  A few early jonquils stuck here and there give a festive look.  The blacksmith believes me to be a hedge-witch, and has been pressing me to supply him with love charms.  Surely he will exchange this pretty bauble for a sharp axe.  Who knows, it might even work.
  You return to me again, only eight days gone. I am chopping at a dead tree with my new axe, pleased to depend no longer upon finding sticks on the ground. You are running through the trees, pale hair streaming behind you, something clutched against your chest.  "The axe!  Give me the axe!" you shout, shoving a squirming hissing bundle into my arms.  Snatching the axe, you whirl about to face the path to our house.
  I look down and see that I am holding a goose. It pecks at me.
  "She betrayed me!" you say, voice raw with fury and hurt.  The goose? No, the giant's woman.  She had assured you that everything in that fine house should be yours.  That you should eat at the giant's table.  Wear his clothes.  Sleep in his bed.  She took your hand, you tell me trembling, and brought you to his rooms with silk soft words, promising to uncover his most secret treasure. Â
  O my wounded innocent, my dupe.  I hear the axe sing like a harp as it slices through the air, chopping your story into slivers. You asked her instead to take you to the giant's larder.  So that you might share his delicacies with me, foraging too long in the dirt and the muck. The giant's woman flushed red and hot and sharp, answering that she'd as soon give you a goose that laid golden eggs as provide a feast for the harlot of the woods. Â
  Your eyes flicker with hot angry flames as you repeat her words. Do you believe that they shall burn me?
  When you asked to see this goose, she laughed at you. She pointed to the kitchen gardens, where the chickens wandered foolishly, and she laughed and laughed, and then the giant returned.
  Stop thief she shouted, and he lunged for you. You ran, you say, and you ran, and as you ran she grabbed shrieking at the giant, and you ran.  In the yard you saw the goose, the golden goose, and you snatched it and you ran. And now the giant is running too, running after you, coming for you.  Coming for us.  Down the forest path to our little hut.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you cry, "I will protect you," and O my brash brazen boy, my hero, you are weeping and angry and confused and terrifying, and I lift the axe from your hand.
  I say something.  "Take this wretched bird into the house and shut the door." And I turn and I wait for this giant.
  I stand ready, axe held level.  I shall chop down that strangling vine you have been climbing.  I shall hew it out, root and branch, and no clinging tendril shall remain to claim you. I shall bite deep with my blade until the sap gushes out sticky and wet, and washes away any hidden thorns.
#
  When I come back inside the little house, you sit still and huddled on your bed.  Your eyes, your golden eyes, are bright and full of tears and terror, not dark and empty like your father's are now. "You were a great lady once, mother," you whisper to me. "You were a queen in a splendid castle."
  I say nothing. But I nod, and hold you close until you fall asleep against me.  When your breathing is slow and soft, I go back to my small garden, and finish weeding among the pushing green that reaches already to my knees.  Later tonight I will take my axe and strike the goose dead.  It would be wiser, I suppose, to keep it for the eggs, but I can render the carcass for the good yellow fat instead.  I will make you many dip candles, O my treasure, O my song, O my prince, my son, and they shall burn clean and bright; and you shall scribble out your stories by their golden glow for many months to come.
  Besides, goose broth will taste well with these beans.
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The One-Stop, Interview Prep-Shop for Video Interview
If youâve ever wanted a one-stop, interview prep-shop, this is IT.Â
From an in-person meeting or a video interview, we're here to help.Interviews can be the most intimidating thing in the entire world. A close second could be asking someone on a dateâin real life. You know, not through an app. Swipes aside, weâre aiming to lay out the prep work for a fantastic interview.
 The kind that feels like youâre floating on air afterwards or the kind where you hear the cash registerâs KA-CHING after an eloquent and to-the-point response.
Weâve outlined:
Interview homework: what to do to prepare for the (video) interview
During the interview: what to expect, what to avoid, and what to deliver
The interviewer's 3 essential questionsÂ
Interview Homework
Like a quote on Pinterest once said, âProper preparation prevents poor performanceâ. Abraham Lincoln may not have said it, but if he had a fondness for alliteration, he probably would have. After all, he is the figure that said, âGive me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axeâ. Preparation is where you win the interview. The interview is where you show the interviewer you won.
Research the Company
The first line of defense is a good offense, a well-known military strategy. The same goes with an interview. Researching the company is essential to create a positive impression. It shows youâve prepared well, take the opportunity seriously, and may possess a few ideas on how to contribute. Not all research is created equal. Itâs important to land on a few key areas. These areas will prepare you to freestyle if any unexpected questions arise; they also showcase how thoughtfully youâve considered the company, its industry, and its potential roadmap.
When researching, find the answer to these questions:
How do they view themselves?
What sets them apart in their particular niche or field?
What are keywords that showcase their uniqueness?
What are some ways that their intention may fall short of the reality?
If possible, learn about these areas:
Recent news and/or highlights.
You can find this out in the PR/News section of their websiteâcompanies love to brag about themselves understandably. Check out their social media channels, including their Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook for news. For negative things (or less-glamorous news), ask ye olde search engine, Google. Type in the companyâs name and hit âNewsâ and a slew of information will be listed.
Most famous client and/or project.
Check out who their customers are and check out whether these organisations are small, mid-sized, or giant corporations. Youâll be able to get a grasp onto who their audience is, giving you information on what their potential business goals may be. Additionally, it sheds light on a specific companyâs niche: they may be selling accounting software to airlines or FitBits to dog food companies. If theyâve historically been selling FitBits to dog food manufacturers but also landed a big project with an agricultural firm, this could give you ideas about youâre a great fit as they expand.
Know the Job Position
This may be the most âDad-likeâ adviceâahem, obviousâbut itâs an important point to thoroughly investigate. Look over the job description, and take some notes. A little exercise might be helpful:
Print out the job description
Pick a colored marker or pen and circle skills or areas you have direct experience in, that was your main âjobâ.
Pick another colored marker and circle skills or areas you do not have direct experience in, but have been related. ie. you ran a companyâs social media, but learned to create infographics.
Write down how youâve developed and/or learned these skills, like attending a webinar or an online course.
Your âdirect skillsâ education
Your ârelated skillsâ education
Write down why this job position stood out to you personallyâdo you have a particular passion about the product, the industry, etc? Why are YOU drawn to it?
Know Why Youâre a Fit
Use the earlier job description analysis to help you build a story in your mind about why youâre a fit. This is the time to reflect on possible questions or concerns the interviewer might have, âYou worked as cosmetics store manager and now you want to work as a Data Scientist at our company?â Highlight how you taught yourself, took online courses, and always had interest in computers (your thesis was on how cybersecurity after multi-stakeholder organizations). Donât be ashamed of your past; this is your story: own it and then construct the narrative.
Practice Talking About Yourself
Now that you know youâre a fit and youâre taking control of your narrative, itâs practice time. Another quote coming your way: âPractice makes perfectâ. Interviews are often a nerve-racking affair. However practice is the proverbial shot of Vodka to interview anxiety. It makes things a bit better. Youâll know what to expect and how to answer. Use the list of common interview questions below to make flashcards or have a friend interview you. Research by Rice University and Michigan State University shows that "deliberate practiceâ or âengagement in structured activities created specifically to improve performanceâ as the biggest predictor for success and performance improvement.
What is deliberate practice?
Deliberate practice is purposeful and systematic; it requires focused attention over a period of time. A famed golfer, Ben Hogan, broke down each section of the golf game and studied how to master each section.
Similarly, deliberately break down each step of the interview process:
the introduction/overview,
insight into skills and experiences
the âchallengesâ faced
odd-ball questions (questions about industry, position, random trivia)
availability
closing questions.
DURING THE INTERVIEW
Show up on time.
If youâre a person that has a habit of arriving late. Make it your goal to get there 30 minutes beforehand. Being late to an interview puts you on the weaker foot; remember YOUâRE the prizeâfinding dedicated and skilled talent these days is getting tough. When youâre running behind schedule, you forfeit that hand. Now you just look like the genius who is a jerk. Avoid being late at all costs. If you're lucky enough to be having a video interview (video interviews means worrying less about road traffic), still make eye contact and be on time.
Always Call Casual Cannibals Into Pink Washpots
Donât worry, you wonât have to call a cannibal anywhereâitâs a pneumonic device to help you remember 8 essential characteristics to exude in an interview: be authentic, concise, confident, interested, passionate, and warm. The (video) interview should be a pleasure to hold, both for you and your interviewer(s). These traits are guideposts in what important feelings to project, from the moment you shake their hand till you send a follow-up email. With a video job interview, you may want to emphasize body language, eye contact, or vocal pauses or a bit more. In video interviews, sometimes the camera may disengage, so be sure to make the potential employer can see you emotionally connect with questions.
Authentic
No need to be anyone else but you, boo. Really. You got this interview, so be the best version of yourself. The real âyouâ may be a person who prefers to observe and stay silent or be a slob at home. At an interview, youâre showcasing how youâll be at the workplace, what kind of colleague youâll be. Remember, job interviews are meant to assess fit between the organization and employee. This experience, an in-person interview or video, should be unique and mutually beneficial. Being authentic is one way to assure a match.
Concise
Youâve practiced your responses. Great. Be sure to keep responses under 90 seconds. That doesnât necessarily mean taking the whole 90 seconds, but in general keep your answers to the point. Add emotion to them, if appropriate. In video interviews, be sure the camera is capturing your expressions.
Confidence
Keep things upbeat and positive. Remain confident in outlining how your skills align perfectly with the job requirements. Donât feel ashamed or anxious about gaps in your resume; be confident in how you present them and how hard you worked to make up for any deficiencies. Employers want to see people who know their skillset is solid, but also confident to highlight their weak points and how theyâre addressing them. In interview videos, be sure to come across sincere with marked pauses, emphatic head nods, and at least one ear-to-ear smile.
Passionate
Employers receive several applications for a position. If youâre interviewing for big corporations like Google, they receive thousands of applications. Share what excites you. Tell why this job aligns with your personal values and goals. Passion is one of those traits thatâs difficult to hide or fake..
Warmth
Your hands may be a little clammy from nerves, but keep the conversation warm and easy-going. How to show warmth? When youâre doing prep work, jot down some potential warmth-inducing stories. Even if it's not in-person interview, a candidate story creates a special memory for the interviewer.
âTell Me About Yourselfâ
This may be the most dreaded question in an interview. âUmâŚI studied Chemistry and like bread?â Itâs a tough one as its encompassing and open-ended. This is simply an introductory question; as the interview progresses, theyâll be able to learn more about you from your later responses. To assist you in answering this, examine yourself:
What am I good at?
What do I enjoy?
What is the unique way I approach a problem?
Give an example of how that happened in the workplace
 The Interviewerâs Secret 3 Questions
At the core, a potential employer has 3 essential questions. The questions that interviewers wish they could ask, but try to answer for themselves:
âWhatâs it like working with you?â
Theyâre trying to answer whether youâll be a cool person to work with. Again they know theyâll be spending considerable time alongside you; they donât want to hire a jerk or someone that doesnât contribute to a team project. The more you share, the better picture theyâll gain about working with you.
âAre you a willing learner?â
Are you a person that is teachable? Do you have a good attitude about trying to learn new things? Or are you a person that doesnât really value trying to learn new skills as needed? Most employers understand if you donât have the tools necessary for the job; theyâre looking for someone who is an eager student.
âDo you take the initiative?â
No one wants a team member that waits for instruction. Are you an individual that has taken on new challenges and projects because thatâs what your past employer neededâeven before the employer realized it? Highlight your initiate with an example or two. Show the interviewer you can âpull your weightâ, while still always trying to contribute to the larger teamâs success. Self-starters are a great addition to any team.
Any other special tips if it's a video interview?
Interviewing videos and in-person interviews differ by only one variable: creating the best setting for a video interview. Luckily that's one variable within your control. Video interviewing is very much a candidate-centric approach to interviews. It gives a candidate and those scheduling job interviews a range of conveniences. For a video interview, you may want to keep these key choices in mind:
Use a well-lit space
Interviewers want to see your face; video interviews with good lighting goes a long way. Itâs a little odd when peopleâs faces are in the dark. That may be the primates in us speaking, but we donât really tend to trust those in dark lighting. Find a room or corner that has natural light that hits your face. Be sure that the light is not behind you, otherwise your face will be in a shadow.
Eliminate a distracting background
A video interview may be an excuse to clean up your living space. Clear out any distracting pieces of artwork, clothes, or anything else that may make an interviewer go, âWow, thatâs a little messyâ or âThatâs a bit inappropriateâ. If you have any questions, stray on the more conservative side. If your prize, mounted stuffed pig head seems a bit too much, just take down for the video interview.
Check your tools (camera, phone, connection, etc.)
Double check that your Internet connection is fast and reliable. You may want to check out Speedtest.net the day before an interview. As a broadband speed testing tool, it assists in measuring how quickly your connection is. If you do it the day before, chances that connection will crash minimizes. Be sure your camera is up and running. You may want to do a test call with a sibling or friend. If your video interview is on-the-go, make sure your phone is charged, or have a charging cord nearby.
Dress simply
In a video interview, an employer typically sees only above your shoulders via the camera. Which is great if you're just wearing pajama pants. Focus on wearing non-distracting clothing. Sometimes even the most fabulous outfits don't translate that well on video. Wear a simple blouse or collared shirt for video interviews that will allow them to concentrate on you.
Interviews, video or not, donât have to be intimidating. Itâs a conversation where you get to showcase your professional narrative and interject what makes you so special.
Retorio is a video-based behavioral assessment powered by AI. It uses facial expression, language, gesture, and voice to create a Big 5 Personality profile. Companies like BMW and Lufthansa, leverage Retorio's AI to support their own talent management teams.Â
LEARNÂ WHAT MAKES ELON MUSK, ELON MUSK?
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Casablanca
Just a very short captivity drabble for Danny/Nate! I havenât done much Danny stuff lately and Iâve had this kicking around in my Google Docs for a while! I wrote out the third part of the Rescue but it needs some more work, so... captivity drabble it is!
CW: Discussion of forced stitches/violence, blood, referenced/implied noncon, captivity, restrained
Tagging: @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @finder-of-rings, @whumpywhumperâ @special-spicy-chicken, @pumpkinthefangirlâ
âH-hey.â
Too close, the whisper is too close. Still, Danny has learned to let even the softest noise shatter through his sleeping mind - itâs too dangerous not to wake up in time, you canât make Abraham call you three times or thatâs breaking a rule.Â
Heâs been drifting uneasily in and out of dreams, shifting around to try and take some pressure off his throbbing left shoulder. There are thick black threads sewn in an uneven line from above his collarbone down nearly to his bicep, surrounded by angry red skin. It's a reminder after the last defiance, the last rebellion.
Donât worry puppy, Bram had murmured, petting into his hair and along his neck as the knife dug deeper and deeper and Danny tried so hard to be good, so Abraham would forgive him for breaking the gift he had brought back from his last supply run.Â
It was the worst fucking thing Abraham had brought home to use on him so far. Danny had stared at it and thanked him for it, waited until Abraham was in the bathroom showering, and then taken it outside and smashed the fucking thing to bits with the axe.
 Abraham found him surrounded by chopped-up shreds of wires and plastic and metal and batteries, snarling at the wreckage he had made.Â
Abraham hadnât yelled. His expression had been calm. He moved without any particular speed as he came closer, the air colder with every step, and Danny had only laid the axe down next to the stump, turned, and dropped to his knees to wait for his punishment with his head held high and his eyes burning a bright and defiant blue.
It wasn't like Danny could run - where would he even go?
Abraham had told him that if he didnât scream, he would only cut for a minute. Just sixty seconds and no longer.
So Danny kept his scream behind his teeth and let the tears blur his vision until he couldnât see icy eyes so clearly any longer. Eventually the pain turned his world to gray and then to fog and finally to nothing at all.Â
He had come back to consciousness to the sight of blood everywhere and the sound of Abraham's pure and purring delight as he got out thick black upholstery thread and a needle, Nate with shaking hands beside him as Abraham held a needle over a flame on the gas stove.
Donât worry, sweet thing. Nate's going to make sure this scars nice and deep so you never, ever forget. Then Abraham had jammed a thumb into the wound he had made and said, softly, you can scream now, little Red.
The whole thing had been a lesson for Nate, too - heâd protested the punishment (âB-Bram, this is t-t-too much, you didn't w-warn him first, you h-h-had to know he wouldnât w-w-want thatâ) and so heâd been forced to do the stitching afterward. Heâd been right-handed before Abraham broke the bones so long ago, so he had to sew as best he could with his awkward left hand... after Abraham blindfolded him.
All Danny had been given for the pain was shot after shot after shot of the good whiskey Abraham kept in the cabinet and the cold of the fingers that gently petted through his hair, pressed into his jaw to force his mouth open for more.Â
The whiskey wasnât enough, but it left the world spinning around him, and eventually heâd passed out cold from that or the shock on the kitchen floor, his back stuck to the plastic of the tarp Abraham had laid him on to catch all the blood. Nate must have bargained something, because heâd been given the rest of the day on the mat to recover (and throw up, and be hungover) before he had to get up the next morning and do chores one-handed and with agony radiating out from his shoulder.
Whatever Nate had done⌠Abraham had given him a whole week where he barely touched him. Seven days, six nights.Â
Danny chooses not to think about what Nate had to give away to earn that kind of break for him - itâs not worth it, because itâs probably the same things he gives away to earn a few days of peace for Nate.
Thereâs always a choice. Thereâs always a test, or a game. And Abraham always wins.
âRed? Wake up.â
Canât let him call three times. Danny lets the dream - something soothing and largely formless except for the sense that he was climbing trees with his brother and he was a kid, just a kid, safe and easy - break like glass.Â
He gives Ryan away again.Â
He is always giving Ryan away, here, and praying that the next time wonât be the last, when Ryan is finally gone from his thoughts forever.
(you shouldnât even dream about anyone but me)
âPlease,â Danny whispers, not quite begging, without opening his eyes. âPlease, please let me sleep a little more. Iâm good, Iâm good, let me sleep, pleaseâŚâ Danny curls up tighter, digging his fingernails into his own head to try and block the blow that heâs sure will follow the words. Puppies donât get to decide, they wake up when their owners say. His scalp still aches from Abraham pulling on his hair last night when he moved too slowly, and thatâs nothing compared to the bruises littering his hips and thighs. The plastic mat crinkles and shifts under him as he moves, trying to bury himself in the thin blankets, so that only a bit of wavy red even shows.
That makes his shoulder hurt again, and he hisses softly, wishing fewer parts of him ached all the time. He canât remember the last time he moved without pain.
If I donât open my eyes, it wonât keep happening, it wonât be real
A hand touches his shoulder, hesitantly, and he holds himself very, very still for it. Heâs good, he doesnât flinch or pull away. Heâs so, so good. But then he thinks⌠Abraham never hesitates. His hand starts to relax away from his scalp, pulling back, and he cracks open eyes that feel nearly glued together to stare up between his fingers.Â
âHey, Red,â Nate says softly. The older man is still rumpled from sleep, too - heâs thrown on a sweater but itâs inside out and Danny can see the seams running down along the outside of his shoulders and arms. Heâs wearing the thick warm flannel pants heâs allowed to wear, and Danny breathes out, jealous of how warm he must be.
His own fingertips, toes, the end of his nose - it all feels like ice.
âWh⌠whyâd you wake me up?â Danny asks, pulling his hand the rest of the way away, carefully rolling to push himself up using his right arm, holding his left close to his chest so his shoulder wonât move any more than it has to. âItâsâŚâ His eyes go to the window, the pure and perfect darkness outside. It was cloudy all day, there isnât even any starlight or moonlight to see by now. They might as well live in a tiny little pinpoint of light in a void. âLooks like the middle of the night.â
âI think it is, ah-... actually. You w-were making sounds in your sl, sleep. I didnât want you to w-w-wake Bram up.â Nate glances back over his shoulder at the closed bedroom door. Dannyâs eyes follow his and he shudders.
Itâs freezing cold out here, like always, but he hadnât tried to barter for the bed tonight. He⌠he couldnât. Not tonight, not after earlier.
Heâd rather be cold tonight.
âThanks, thank you for that,â Danny says softly, with real feeling. Heâs woken Abraham up before - and his reactions tended to range from irritated to furious depending on how much sleep heâd gotten beforehand. He sits up the rest of the way, getting his bare feet under him, feeling the chain attached to his ankle shift a little.Â
It doesnât quite make enough noise to matter. Dannyâs an expert at maneuvering without the chain scraping by now. When Nate stands and offers him a hand, he takes it, pulling himself to his feet. Nateâs hand is warm, and dry - heâs never cold, not even in the middle of the night in winter.
âYour hair l-l-looks ridiculous,â Nate says, voice and flash of smile both soft as feathers in Dannyâs mind. Nate reaches out, casual as anything, to ruffle Dannyâs hair, smashed down on one side and sticking straight up on the other. He smooths it down, and Danny shivers a little at the way it feels so much different when Nate touches him.
He lets him do it for just a few seconds longer than absolutely necessary, and then Danny swats him away as best he can, rolling his eyes. They both pretend Dannyâs face isnât flushed a little red, burying some of the freckles and scars under the rush of blood. âLike yours looks any better, you jerk.â
Perfectly normal conversation between two perfectly normal men - as though one of them werenât chained to the wall and the other hadnât just spent the past several hours sleeping with and then next to the person who locked them up here in the first place.Â
âNo,â Nate says thinking, his eyes drifting back to the mop of wavy red - long, since it was towards the end of winter, and Abraham liked his hair longer when it was cold, so he could twist it around his fingers and pull on it. It fell past his ears, curling at the ends, and Nate reached back up to twist one wave into a curl. âY-yours definitely looks beh⌠better.â
Danny became suddenly deeply and entirely aware of every inch of his own skin, and of the slight pull of his hair when Nate stretched the curl out straight. And very aware of Nateâs deep green eyes, the focus and consideration in them, the way they looked over Dannyâs face without even batting an eye at how thoroughly the muzzle had ruined it.
If we werenât here, if I wasnât this⌠I think I would want you, anyway.
Danny never says the words, but he thinks them more and more, and he worries endlessly that Abraham knows he is thinking the words, knows but for some reason lets them rest in Danny, doesnât beat or cut or burn them out of him.
Abraham knowing something like that and not hurting him over it more terrifying than any pain he could cause because of it⌠because it means either heâll wait to use it against him in some new way he canât predict, or⌠or it means feeling like this is something Abraham wants. That even Dannyâs smallest, most private defiance is just part of Abrahamâs plan.
âDid you want to watch a movie?â Danny asks, ignoring the pulsing ache in his shoulder, simply pushing it to the side of his brain where he puts all the pain when Abraham isnât actively causing it.Â
Nate smiles at him, pulling at the little scar on the corner of his mouth, and Danny fights the urge to lean down and kiss it, just there at the corner where it makes his smiles seem a little one-sided. âY-Yeah. Dâyou w-w-want to have m, movie night? I want to l-look at your, um, your cut and put something it, so it d-d-doesnât get infected. C-Casablanca?â
âYou always want to watch Casablanca.â
âOf c-c-course I do.â Nate almost laughs, and just catches himself, looking nervously back at the closed bedroom door. âYou s-say all the words.â
âSo?â
âSo...â Nate looks back at him, and for a second Danny doesnât feel the chain on his ankle at all. âI like when you s-s-say all the w-words.â
#whump#captivity#restrained#conditioning#tw: blood#tw: stitches#defiant whumpee#tw: implied/referenced noncon#tw: implied/referenced dubcon#Daniel Michaelson's story
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The Camping Trip
Words: 1484 Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x OC Prompt:Â âOur friends dragged us as third and fourth wheels on a camping trip and they keep arguing and we may have run off AUâ Prompt Credit Via @dailyauâ Summary: Reader agrees to go on a camping trip with her best friend, Tessa, and Tessaâs boyfriend, Bucky. What she doesnât know is that Bucky also invited his best friend, Steve. Reader and Steve soon become unwilling allies when it seems Tess and Bucky canât stop fighting.Â
â[Y/N]!!â Your best friend, Tessa, came running over to your car excitedly. Youâd just parked in her driveway where your car would be resting for the weekend. You got out of your car and were immediately encircled by Tessaâs arms. âIâm so glad you agreed to come with us this weekend! Itâs been forever since weâve hung out!â
âItâs been too long.â You nodded, ending the hug. âSo, is it just me, you and Bucky this weekend?â You asked, opening your driverâs side back door and reaching for the camping equipment youâd packed.
âHey [Y/N]!â Bucky, Tessaâs long-term boyfriend came over to help you load your bags into their car. âHave you met my friend, Steve?â
You looked up to see a mountain of a man lurking by Buckyâs SUV. He was at least six feet tall, with a muscular build. You thought for sure one of his biceps was the size of your head. As you approach the SUV, Steve offers you a hand to shake. You accept his hand a give it a stern shake.
âNice to meet you, Maâam.â He says politely.
âItâs [Y/N] please.â You insisted, looking up at his ocean blue eyes. âItâs nice to meet you too Steve.â
âSo [Y/N], are you an avid camper?â Steve walked to the driverâs side back door and opened it for you.
âNot exactly.â You laughed. âI just get dragged along on a lot of Tessaâs adventures.â Steve shut the door. You clipped your seatbelt in and Steve joined you in the backseat. âThe last time I went camping with Tessa we were in college. I got eaten alive by mosquitos and vowed Iâd never do it again.â
âYet here you are!â Tessa chirped, jumping into the passengerâs seat of the SUV.
âOkay, last chance for everyone to use an actual toilet. Anyone have to go?â Bucky warned starting the car. âGoing once...twiceâŚsold.â Bucky changed the carâs gear to reverse and rolled his SUV down the driveway.
âI created a bumping playlist for our drive!â Tessa announced. She plugged her phone into the aux cable on the SUV. The first song that played was obviously not Bucky or Steveâs taste it was loud booming pop music with shrill vocals. The next song that played was similar and the next fifteen after that. After an hour of this Bucky turned the volume down.
âDo you have any other music you could play?â Bucky asks with a hint of irritation.
âI worked really hard making this playlist!â Tessa pouts. You steal a glance at Steve. From his expression you guess that he too has witnessed his share of arguments between Tessa and Bucky. By the sound of things the happy couple were winding up for another legendary disagreement.
Bucky and Tessa argued over the music the remainder of the car ride. When you arrived at your campsite the situation didnât improve much. First they argued about where to set up the tents, then they argued about how to set the tents up. Even worst, it turned out one of the tents was missing its poles.
âHow do you not remember to pack tent poles for the tent?â Tess complained as Bucky dug frantically through the back of his SUV.
âI just assumed that when you used it last month for your yoga retreat you would have put the poles back in the bag with the rest of the tent.â Bucky snapped at her.
âItâs alright, I brought a spare tent just in case.â Steve offered. He reached into the back of the SUV and pulled out the tent. âIâll start setting it up.â
âDonât worry about it, Steve.â Tessa told him in a sugary sweet voice. âBucky left the poles at home so Bucky can set up the backup tent.â She took the tent bag out of Steveâs hands and tossed it at her boyfriend.
âTess!â You scolded your best friend. âEase up, you could have checked for the poles yourself.â
âHey, [Y/N], Iâm gonna go look for firewood. You want to come with?â Steve asked. He held an axe in his two hands. You were very aware again just how muscular Steve Rogers was.
âYes!â You agreed quickly. You followed the guy youâd just met deep into the woods to avoid listening to another argument between your best friends. âYou know, I feel like I should apologize for Tessa. Sheâs not usually soâŚâ
âDisagreeable?â Steve laughs. âMaybe I should apologize for Bucky too. Heâs never been one to backdown from an argument. They make quite a pair.â
âYeah.â You agreed. You whistle low and looked around the forest floor. âI guess we should start gathering wood and get back there before they kill each other.â
âI mean I could swipe Buckyâs keys when heâs mid-argument and we could drive off with his SUV. Leave the two of them here to sort things out.â Steve suggests. He steps a safe distance away from you and starts chopping at a nearby tree.
âYouâd do that to your best friend?â You asked gathering small sticks and twigs that youâd need to start the fire.
âIf you told me that you wanted to get out of here, I wouldnât blame you and I couldnât subject you to their arguments anymore.â Steve told you.
After a little while you both hoped enough time had passed that Tessa and Bucky had stopped fighting. You helped Steve load up his arms with as much wood as he could carry. You held a fistful of sticks in one hand and the axe in the other. When you returned to the campsite Bucky and Tessa were sitting on a log embracing each other and making out. You immediately looked away and Steve cleared his throat loudly. Tessa and Bucky broke apart at the sudden sound.
âSorry,â Bucky apologize. âWe didnât know when you guys would be back.â
âWhile you were gone, Bucky and I were talkingâŚâ Tessa said. Steve got to work building the fire. You crouched down next to him and tried to help.
âI think you were doing more than that.â You pointed out.
âAnyway, we were thinking,â She nuzzled up close to Bucky practically climbing into his lap. âThat maybe instead of doing guys and girls tents it would make more sense for us to share a tent and for you and Steve to share another. I mean weâre all adults.â She shrugged innocently.
âSure.â You knew that Tess would get what she wanted one way or another, so it was easier to just agree from the jump. âWhat do you say, Steve?â
âUh, sure. If youâre comfortable with it.â He nods, looking slightly uncomfortable.
âOMG yay!â Tessa exclaimed excitedly. âSo later tonight if the tent is a rockinâ donât come a knocknâ, know what Iâm saying?â She winked suggestively before leaning over and nibbling on Buckyâs ear.
âWhy did we agree to this trip?â Steve whispered quietly to you.
âActually,â Bucky stood up holding Tessa in his arms. âI think weâre gonna hit the hay right now. You two gonna be okay?â Steve responded by waving Bucky off towards one of the tents.
It didnât take long for Steve to get a fire started. It turned out Captain America was quite the outdoorsman. You found marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers in the SUV and made a few smores. As the sun went down it started to get cold. You shivered at the gentle breeze. Even with the fire roaring, you wished youâd brought more layers.
âWind is picking up.â Steve observed. âItâd be warmer in the tent and I brought some extra blankets too.â
âI could call it a night.â You yawned. You and Steve went into your tent. There was enough room for the two of you to retreat to opposite sides, but Steve offered you two spare wool blankets heâd packed. âWonât you be cold?â You asked.
âIâve slept in worst places.â He shrugged.
âWe could, ah, share?â You suggested cautiously. The last thing you wanted to do was make Steve uncomfortable. âWe could use our sleeping bags as mats for extra padding, and cover up with these.â
âIâd hate to make you uneasy.â Steve hesitated.
âWell, Iâd hate for you to freeze to death on my account.â You took the two blankets and spread them over the two of you. You laid down pulling the covers with you. âWeâll both be warmer this way.â You told Steve. âShared body heat and all that.â
âYou could snuggle a little closer and youâd be even warmer.â Steve invited you into his arms. You scooted closer and rested your head on his muscular shoulder. You wrapped an arm around his waist. Steve held you in his arms. As you drifted off to sleep your heart fluttered. You couldnât help but think that get stuck sleeping in a tent with Steve Rogers wasnât exactly the worst place to be.
#Steve Rogers#Steve Rogers x Reader#Steve Rogers Reader Insert#Steve Rogers FF#Steve Rogers Fan Fic#Steve Rogers Fan Fiction
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#inspiration
#selfgrowth #followyourself #changefor yourself
1. BE PROACTIVE
We spend too much time worrying about things on which we have control, stuff that we can nothing about. instead, focus on things we can change. And do it proactively, before we are forced to do something about it. expand the circle of influence.
2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
If we dont know where we want to go, how we ever get there? Envision your future using both logic and imagination. Let it be based on principles. Write down your own mission statements. Imagine what your friends, family, colleagues, community will tell about you in your funeral. What would you want them to say? Write it all down.
3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
List down everything you want to do. Yo will see that they fall into four categories.
> Important and urgent
> Important and nol urgent Not >important and urgent Not >important and not urgent
Once you put them in the matrix, you know what to do.
4. THINK WIN WIN
Sooner or later, we realise that we not only owe a lot to the society we live in, we also understand that our success depends on others success. Life is not a zero sum game. When we make it a habit to see how others also can benefit from our actions, from our decisons, we are better off for that. The world is too connected for us to think win:lose.
5.SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Even when you are arguing with your opponents, it is a good form to first understand their arguments and try to express them even better than they can. It is even more important when we are interacting with our friends, colleagues and other collabosators. Listen, understand, and only then, open your mouth.
6. SYNERGIZE
Synergy changes the conventional math. 2 and 2 is not 4, but 5 or 6 or 7. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. Teamwork If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, team up.
7. SHARPEN THE SAW Abraham Lincoln said: Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. Your axe is your body, mind and soul. Run. Exercise. Study. MeditateSEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Even when you are arguing with your opponents, it is a good form to first understand their arguments and try to express them even better than they can. It is even more important when we are interacting with our friends, colleagues and other collabosators. Listen, understand, and only then, open your mouth.
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