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gifsbysimplysonia · 2 days ago

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Hola otra vez! For anyone not familiar with my annoying rambly feedback, ahead there be

This is the end of the first paragraph of the story and it's just so fcking ... like it works SO well for me, it makes me wanna spike a football

it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.

logan had no reason to keep count. until he saw you.

Well, if there's any indication a man is smitten, I'd say it's when he decides to keep counting after 200 years on Earth cuz of YOU *ded*

the bar was busy, as it normally was. he didn't mind it this way, less attention on him, less chances of someone trying to pick a fight with a specific stranger. not that they'd win, but logan had grown too tired for petty fights these days.

It's super interesting to think about Logan in relation to time and age. We just went from him deciding he's got a reason to keep counting the years to him being so tired that he doesn't want to get into petty fights. And as someone who grew up with Logan on the XMen cartoon lol, I know Logan to BE petty. So whilst we can't always think of Logan in terms of age, cuz looking at his appearance can make us forget, to hear that he's so TIRED that he doesn't even wanna squabble up on occasion? Well, that's impactful. The author makes it hit home in this other way and I really like it.

And here's another example of the author getting across to us where Logan is at when we meet him in life:

you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls.

Straight up now we have the word tired, but also old. And not in relation to himself, but what he's got eyes on. It's such a clever thing the author has done here, and I really am appreciative of it.

logan can't let himself look too much, he isn't allowed nice things, especially not pretty little things such as yourself. he's poison, tainting everything he touches, spoiling it. he's experienced enough heartbreak, enough losses for a lifetime and more.

Sad face. This is very in line with the Logan I think most of us know (and adore). Gotta take all the blame, gotta punish yourself, gotta try to protect others from you by denying yourself connections. Wanna hug him.

he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.

Also very on brand for Logan. Sees a need, fills the need, but doesn't want credit for it. He's also seeing someone he believes is worthy (and perhaps not in a way he feels he could ever be?) of more so he tries to be the provider.

it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . .

And again, we are seeing how smitten he is because the man who has been painted as weary and bored suddenly has questions and wonderings again. That is, in the context of Logan's long a$$ existence, quite magical. But that magic is immediately followed by

though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless. he is an animal, after all.

and it's like

relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it. fuck.

"Relying on others was a weakness" is just hella relatable to me, so I key in on that. And then that ire being followed by showing vulnerability by thinking of her as another person he'd lose; Logan's heart has always been huge and you just know he remembers the faces and details of each person he has had to lose and she has that status already. Logan trying to lie to himself with the "not worth it" talk only to have to curse himself cuz he KNOW he's lying is also peak Logan behavior, and once again on a personal level, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiighly relatable lol. I'm always lying to myself about my own feelings.

you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy.

"Lonely and desperate" self descriptions and Logan referring to himself as "stupid." I'm sure we all wanna shake this old man, right? LOL because when he let's himself think about the truth:

he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything. he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.

It's connection, and it's gnawing at him. Loneliness is a helluva thing, and I think a lot of us know this. But this author is shining in the way she is describing it for us, outside of the usual age/years gone by methods. Tired, lonely, and now ravenous. And while we are in the space of a more spiritual hunger, here, it so easily slides right back to physical as well because he's thinking about a woman and wonders

surely one bite couldn't hurt?

Me literally screaming into my pumpkin pillow cuz I'm like NO IT COULDN'T LOGAN, GO GET HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR cuz I know what's gonna follow is gonna be liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.

The self loathing and denial is top tier Logan. He will inconvenience and punish himself just as long as it's in line with denying himself cuz he just "doesn't deserve it." Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Logan then proceeds to go drain the snake before he beings his newest self inflicted penance, but she comes in to clean the bathrooms thinking they were empty.

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl lol

your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again. but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.

HOW WAS SHE LOOKING AT YOU, LOGAN?!?! It's funny how if it was almost any other man, I'd snort and be like, sure buddy. But it's Logan so I have ZERO issue believing whatever he saw in her eyes let her know she DOES indeed know him and want ... well, something.

you lean back against the bathroom stall divider, eyes drifting across logan's figure. he was tall, big. this is the first time you're really able to look at him, to study the features of his face. this time he's not hiding behind a glass or a bottle.

How interesting to see the contrast of her view of Logan because while he's always looking at her and sworn that he never caught her looking his way, she's letting us know she has definitely looked his way enough to notice he was a man in hiding. And she actually acted respectfully to respect that and not ogle him, which bummed Logan out lol.

the hunger in his gaze is obvious, but it's dulled, like he's just barely holding back. you think he looks lonely, there's a distinct air about him that practically screams that he needs to be touched.

Oof, she's intuitive! So she SEES what he needs and seems to be quite willing to, ahem, deliver for him but WILL HE LET HER is the big question.

logan pushes himself from the sink and approaches you slowly. was he really doing this? after a month of pining and longing for you, a stranger in a bar, was he really going to give in to his desires? would you let him? the lust was clear in your eyes and he knew he was reflecting it right back tenfold.

you eye the stranger who's been watching you, tipping you. of course you've noticed, you'd have to be pretty stupid or oblivious not to. you've come to expect him at each shift, but his presence intrigued you more than the other regulars. not just because he was more handsome, considerably more handsome. no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.

I do so love the fact that she's intuitive, curious and sees beyond the big burly handsome cover. He never speaks but look at his eyes and boy, are there a thousand stories waiting to be told. And it's the SAME WAY in the present with her. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike, it's about to go off.

oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.

Again, I love that this goes beyond physical with her and that she's genuinely intrigued by him and by what probably most others don't see in Logan.

"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me." logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?" "yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious." he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.

No because how is he the King of Self Denial but somehow automatically is giving Dom the first time he approaches a woman he means to get to know? Not even embarrassing at being caught at his blatant perusal of her. SIR.

logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up.

When I tell you this BROKE me. King of Self Inflicted Penance. I stg. And it's quite the conundrum to be going through an emotional gut punch when it's immediately followed up with

he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.

and we know it is OFF TO THE RACES!!!

"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?" you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.

OH SH!T, WE HAVE HAN AND LEIA BANTER! They are my OTP so I'm always gonna call a combative in love couple that, but this dynamic is MY JAM and I love that what we seem to have here is a clearly dominant male with a bratty female. I am in Heaven lol

logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you.

WE DO TOO, LOGAN!

his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.

Always a trip when I am personally attacked by a fic lmaoooooooooo

he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.

"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet."

I want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie at the giving of instructions and reminder that, HEY WE ARE IN PUBLIC but we are absolutely NOT stopping.

"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."

Excellent dirty taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk

he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."

And he praises? *dies again*

"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it. you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar.

"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"

I once again must mention top tier dirty talk!

and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has.

Once again, Logan's vulnerability is illustrated here because it's very human and natural to WANT TO BE WANTED so that it's exciting for him makes all the sense.

he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it.

*shakes him* He's still so Logan. Trying to convince himself again he is just not worthy. But I also do this to myself which is no doubt why I key on it, mention it, react to it. That just means the author is striking a chord with me and isn't that what we want? To feel resonance and know we are not alone in our experiences?

because he can't describe the shame that swirls in his stomach, that this is how he relieves himself, a quick fuck in a bar. this dirty older man who's seen so much sin, perpetuated sin with his own hands, who longed for the young pretty little thing in the bar. logan doesn't deserve nice things, this he knows.

It's a jarring feeling to be really into some hot smut and then have there be an intermission of this caliber. Cuz again, we are seeing into Logan's heart and his internal self who just screams and screams about not being worthy. And it's so painful and wretched for us as an audience cuz we KNOW it's not true and we just wish HE WOULD SEE IT.

you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh?

Even in her blissful state, she is noticing what he likes and trying to provide that for him and I love her for considering him and being thoughtful with him. HE doesn't think he deserves it, but we readers know that he absolutely does so it's sweetness in this midst of lust and shows us that she cares beyond whatever is happening now in this bathroom.

Y'all NEED to go read this cuz the smut is rough but because of the well established connection the author built between these two, it's very intimate despite the circumstances which don't necessarily lend themselves to anything other than a "quickie." Because of what's going on between these two and how well laid out that is for us, we know that the reason this is so rough and intimate is BECAUSE it's not meant for just here and now. But will Logan allow anything more?

standing on trembling legs, you lean up, giving him a surprisingly soft kiss. your hands take over his, helping him back into his jeans, zipping them up, clasping the buttons together and buckling his belt. all the while your lips are on his, slowly, passionately intertwining together.

And again, I love her for her thoughtfulness. She's being soft and tender with him. I'm not sure if it's a conscious effort to keep him from screwing things up (by trying to now brush her off) or if it's just naturally who she is and giving into her instinct to want to be gentle with him and keep him close. Either way, I love love love this moment.

". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.

Adore her for infusing humor into the situation and wanting to bring light back into his eyes. Whoever is going to be with Logan needs to have a sense of humor and give him as good as he gives.

the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.

Is Logan ACTUALLY going to give this thing a chance, and more importantly, HIMSELF a chance?!?!

I hate to quote too much in a story, especially an ending becuase I WANT PEOPLE TO GO READ FOR THEMSELVES but I need @silverskyeline to know that the last 3 paragraphs of this piece are SO FCKING GOOD.

The breakthrough and revelation he has, the tentative willingness to let himself release a burden and not self flagellate? OMGGGGGGGGGGG. Literally all the applause and bravo on this amazing piece. I really really fcking enjoyed it and am so grateful to you for creating and sharing.

It's really a wonderful character analysis or look at who Logan is, the person he think he has to be, with some hot smut that actually isn't a pause in the narrative but continues the throughline of exploring who he is and what he thinks he deserves and how he's giving himself permission to be a man again. I just ... I love this so so much. Thank you again.

'hunger' 18+

worst!wolverine x f!reader (3.9k words) summary: logan can't tear his mind away from the new barmaid at his usual haunt. he tries to resist you, he really does. but when you're both alone in the bathroom, he finds he's not the only one plagued with filthy thoughts. tags: for the 'longing' prompt for logan promptober, set in the bar from the movie, kind of angsty, filthy, pent up logan, alcohol consumption, doggy style, creampie, biting, light choking, pinning wrists, hair pulling, spanking, rough sex, implied age gap, sweet ending.

his usual haunts offer comfort, safe nests tucked away down isolated roads, usually requiring quite the drive to find - it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.

time spent staring into the grain of the old wood on the bar wondering how the fuck he ended up here. he'd stopped keeping count a long time ago, how long he'd been around, been alive. things get kind of hazy after two hundred years. logan had no reason to keep count.

until he saw you.

he's sat at the bar when the bartender clocks off, switching with someone new, someone he'd never seen before. you walk in and his eyes immediately scan your face, your build, your outfit. it's a habit of his, one he hoped he'd grow out of - but logan has learned that he'll never stop assessing for new threats. it's just in his dna.

but what he finds isn't a threat.

you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls. he drags his eyes back down to his glass like he's forcing himself to look down the barrel of a gun rather than looking at you, before settling on you once more.

. . . but what harm can looking do?

a few weeks pass, logan notices you're in every few nights from now on, must have been put on the regular rota. he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.

you've never noticed him, or at least, he's never caught you looking in his direction. but he finds himself craving it, willing your eyes to meet his even for a second. the extent of your interactions have been sliding a glass or a bottle in his direction before continuing with your other duties.

it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . . though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless.

he is an animal, after all.

he wonders if he should switch bars just to distance himself. he couldn't let himself become comfortable with the idea of you. relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it.

fuck.

logan curses himself under his breath for even having this internal debate. you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy. he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything.

he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.

surely one bite couldn't hurt?

no, he finds himself shaking his head as he stands from the bar. he'd take a leak, and leave early. it'd only been a month since he first saw you, he could get over this. switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.

the bathroom door swings open and he walks inside, situating himself at one of the urinals. a few moments later, the door swings open again, logan doesn't bother to look over.

"oh, thought these were empty, sorry."

his head turns quickly. it's you, mop in hand. there's an uncomfortable silence that follows.

speak, fucking speak. "it's fine."

you pause, then nod a little and begin mopping the floor.

his eyes are back on the urinal, swallowing hard. was this really going to be your first conversation? with his eyes glaring into old porcelain, dick in his hand? he tries not to picture you stealing glances at him, but he can't help it. is that what he wants?

maybe.

finishing up, he quickly makes his way over to the sinks, pushing his hands under the cool water and rubbing with soap. his eyes flit up to the mirror. and he catches you.

your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again.

but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.

"all done," you say with a sigh after a few moments, standing straight and gripping the mop but making no effort to leave just yet.

logan eyes you in the mirror, watches how your eyes dance across the room before inevitably landing on him again. he turns to face you, noting the distance between you both in the room.

you rest your mop against the wall, "you're in here often." you state, it's not a question.

"guess i'm a regular," he replies curtly.

swallowing hard, you continue, "i noticed. i always have to restock the whisky when you come by."

"i like a drink." he says with a subtle shrug, just a step away now, eyes never leaving yours.

a small smile tugs at your lips, "i know."

you're not sure what you're really doing. you're supposed to be on shift, designated five minutes to clean the bathrooms. five minutes you'd much rather spend doing someone something else.

no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.

oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.

you're not sure when or how it happened, but he's right in front of you now, his body almost touching yours. you look up at him with a feigned innocent look.

"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me."

logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?"

"yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious."

he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.

your hands snake down, finding his belt buckle and brazingly begin to unbuckle it. he watches you, eyes fixated on the way your fingers move. he swears he's about to start drooling. but then you move, hands winding up to the buttons on his shirt. you splay your hands across the fabric, eyes widening when you feel what's underneath.

"are you. . . is that-"

logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up. he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.

he moans, relishing the taste of you, the taste he's thought about for so fucking long. he brings your hands up, pinning them above your head, shifting his grip so one hand easily pins your wrists, leaving his other hand free.

his free hand plants firmly across your upper chest, the rough pads of his fingers brushing against your collarbone as he explores your mouth with his tongue. you're lost in the sensation, knees going weak as you allow the older man to have his way with you. he needs this, you know it.

"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?"

you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.

logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you. his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.

the kiss grows in intensity, you wonder how long it's been since he's kissed someone. he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.

his hand on your neck gives a gentle squeeze before running down your torso, palming at your jeans suddenly. you try to whimper in pleasure, but he's silencing you with his lips again.

"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet." logan can feel the material of your jeans begin to damp and he resists the urge to growl, feeling the way the fabric beneath gives way.

you nod, whispering small affirmatives as he touches you through the material. "just give me more," you whine.

and that spurs him on. in a flash he's pushing you into the stall, stealing a few more kisses where he can before he turns you, pushing your back against his chest. his lips find your neck, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses along the skin he finds there.

you're like putty in his hands, melting back against him as his hand returns to your crotch, rough hands massaging circles against your clothed core. you resist a moan, exhaling shakily instead as you let him use you.

"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."

you nod quickly as you feel his lips curve into a smirk against your skin.

"yeah, thought so," he nibbles on your earlobe, breathing deeply through his nose as he tries to steady himself, preserve the moment. but how can he when you feel this good beneath his fingers, taste this good on his tongue? "tell me you want it."

"want you to fuck me," you whimper almost immediately, suddenly feeling so very needy. there's a hot ache growing between your legs, one you're desperate for him to fill.

logan laughs, "you can do better than that, honey, know you can."

"please," your voice cracks and you swallow back moans as you squirm beneath his touch, "please fuck me-" it becomes apparent to you at that moment that you don't even know his name. your cheeks flush at the thought of letting this stranger, this older man fuck you in the bar bathroom, but actually, you kind of like it that way.

he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."

with that, he pushes you forward, forcing your hands onto the tank of the toilet to support yourself as he bends you over. his hands find your waist, his hips connecting with yours and slowly grinding his very apparent, large bulge against you.

you let out a whimper, arching your back a little at the sudden contact.

"feel that?" he mumbles, guiding your hips to grind back against him, "feel what you do to me?"

a gasp, "fuck, you're big." you can already tell, the way his bulge is pressing against you, demanding to be felt. you swear you can almost feel it throb through the material.

"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it.

pulling back slightly, he roughly pulls your jeans down, practically manhandling you, your underwear disappearing with it. he grabs handfuls of your ass before kneading the skin. "look at that, pretty little ass, all for me."

you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar. "f-fuck!" you whine, feeling the sharp sting, knowing there's a bright red imprint in the shape of his large palm on your ass.

there's some jingling, the sound of his belt being moved out of the way, a zipper. you prepare yourself, or at least you try to, but his cock is already slapping against your backside before you have time to steady your hazy mind.

"you gonna take all of me?" he asks, biting his lip as his aching length slaps against your skin, "think you can?"

you nod quickly, looking over your shoulder at him, "mhm!"

"if you say so. . ." he smirks and positions himself, one hand on your hip and one aiming his cock at your tight little hole.

then, all at once he's sinking in. you gasp, he gasps. and fuck, he is big. you feel that sweet stretch, his cock throbbing against your tight walls as it slowly glides inside. you're whining as it slowly fills you, eyes rolling back at the sensation. but he pulls out a little, only to push back in again.

he's working you up just right, mesmerised by the way you take his cock. his eyes are fixed on your tight hole begging him to enter, loving the slick sound as it pushes inside.

"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"

despite the way your cheeks flush bright red, you can't deny it. you've thought about it more than once, fantasised about it in bed, hoping that one day that stranger from the bar would fuck you so good you forget your own name.

you don't need to reply either, because he knows. he knows from the way your wet hole flutters around him, and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has. he begins to pump into you at a leisurely pace, firm hands on your hips.

"holy fuck, so fuckin' tight," logan grumbles, his deep slow strokes hitting you deep as he bottoms out inside of you.

you try to turn your head, to look up at him, but he grasps the back of your hair, pushing your head down. "nu-uh, keep that head down."

he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it. he'll take you, just like this, with your head down and your ass up and his cock buried deep inside you.

you feel his thrusts grow rougher, your legs slipping apart as you attempt to hold yourself up, hands planted firmly on the tank of the toilet. you're squeaking softly with each pump, feeling him use you to release his pent-up frustrations. and it felt so fucking good.

with his firm grip on your hair tightening by the second and his other large hand digging into your hip, you begin to bounce back against his motions, sending him even deeper. you both moan in sync with the feeling and you pant softly, cheeks flushing further at the soft 'plap plap plap' of his hips connecting with you, the sound reverberating around the small cubicle.

"that feels so fucking good," you sing, closing your eyes. logan gives a particularly hard thrust, speed picking up. you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh? "keep fuckin' me, just like that, so good. . ."

he groans, wrapping your hair around his fist as he relentlessly pounds into you. harder and harder, deeper and deeper, you're sure you'll have bruises littered over your body before the day is through.

"harder!" you cry, feeling your legs tremble. you're not gonna last long like this, and by the way his cock is twitching inside of you, he isn't either. "i'm gonna cum, you're gonna make me fuckin' cum!"

another groan slips from his lips, gritting his teeth as he uses you, watching you take his throbbing cock beneath him. "look so pretty like this, bent over, takin' what i fuckin- shit. . . takin' what i give you."

your body grows hotter, sweat forming on your forehead, each impact pushing you forward roughly. you're really not gonna last long.

he begins to hunch over, his chest flush with your back as he huffs against your neck, fucking you like a rabid animal. you're squealing now, the pleasure swirling in your lower stomach, threatening to send you crashing into bliss. at this point, you don't fucking care if someone walks in and finds you like this, sees his feet planted behind yours underneath the stall. in fact, the thought of the risk sends a bolt straight to your gut.

"yes yes yes," you mutter, feeling your orgasm approaching steadily. you swear you can feel him in your guts. you begin to flutter around him, begging for release, knowing it's going to completely destroy you.

logan can't even form words, just grunts slipping from his lips against the side of your neck. and then he feels it, his cock twitches, his mind reeling with the imminent release. he needs this, oh he fucking needs this.

he bites down on your neck, teeth sinking in slightly as he feels himself release deep inside you, his cum spilling out in strong waves. you feel your knees buckle, but a strong hand planted on your tummy helps keep you upright as he fucks his release deeper into you.

the animalistic nature of his thrusts combined with the sensation of his hot cum painting your insides sends you flying over the edge, your orgasm milking him as you clamp around his aching cock. he slams his hand against the stall wall with a loud metallic bang, splaying his fingers across the metal as if to ground himself as his thrusts falter.

his tongue lazily licks the indents of his bite mark against your neck, groans easing their way from the back of his throat. you can hardly catch your breath, legs still shaking from such an intense release. it's hard to think straight with his dick still buried deep inside, feeling it twitch with every aftershock.

you both stay like that for a solid minute, panting, coming down together. he's planting soft kisses along your neck as your breath slowly comes back to you.

he pulls out, stepping back as he stuffs himself into his jeans. you collapse onto the toilet seat, shakily pulling your jeans and underwear back up as you look up at him. it's clear he's looking to leave, a distant look in his eye, maybe a little shame creeping into his features.

you pull back, buttoning your own jeans as you continue to look up at him. ". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.

and there it is, a small smirk on his lips as he glances away. "maybe."

the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" you ask, tilting your head.

he blinks, suddenly remembering time exists outside this small space seemingly crafted just for the two of you. "yeah," he says, quietly.

"good," you pat his chest before moving past him, leaving the stall. you stand, looking back at him. a beat, "or, you can meet me after my shift ends?"

his eyes widen, taken aback. fuck, had he forgotten how to do this? his eyes flit to the side, before making up his mind. he gives a firm nod.

you smile before leaving him in the bathroom, returning to the bar through the door.

logan stands there for a few moments, running his fingers through his hair. he smooths down his shirt, feeling the suit beneath, a stark reminder always of his past.

but maybe he could begin to take a few steps forward. maybe he deserves more than to suffer forever, forced to keep everyone at arm's length. maybe he could allow himself this small happiness, a date, or whatever this was.

maybe it was time to satisfy his hunger, his loneliness, for good.

#wolverine #logan howlett #marvel #fan fiction #feedback #drag queen #trixie mattel #bebe zahara benet #miz cracker #michelle visage #vanessa vanjie mateo #nicole byer #trinity taylor #animations #AND mine

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corviiids · 12 hours ago

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hello thank you for asking i am very flattered. i would be most honoured to give some advice that i am most certainly unqualified to give!!

ok advice 1: hey why does everyone keep telling me to read and write a lot

i think this is the most commonly given advice. i have always found it true but incomplete, because on the face of it this kind of focuses a little too much on volume. which by itself just isn't going to do that much for you, or it will, but it'll do it very slowly and ineffectively, because the second part of this advice i don't see nearly as much (and the part that makes it work for me) is that after you read or write something you need to do The Why Interrogation. what are you looking for?

when you like something, why do you like it? not just in terms of copying and learning an author's stylistic quirks or techniques, but in a more abstract way:

is it the narrative? that the premise is novel, that the progression of the story is unexpected and thrilling, that the stakes are high?

is it the characters? what is it about them? do they have compelling backgrounds? does the author spend a lot of time in their heads? is the pov internal in a way that lets you experience the story from their shoes? does their biased narration tell you more about them? or is it a detached narration that lets you see the characters in a way they don't see themselves, so the gap is intriguing?

is it the telling? maybe the prose is beautiful - what makes it so? sentence structure? unconventional use of grammar and punctuation? elegant, sophisticated vocabulary? or maybe the dialogue is sharp and human so conversation flows naturally. is the story paced carefully? does the author linger more in certain moments?

the same exercise is useful for what ISN'T working.

if your attention is drifting, what's making it drift?

purple prose? clumsy prose?

does the narration drag?

do the characters feel stagnant, and why?

plot doesn't make any sense?

maybe this sounds obvious, but imo it's a crucial piece of the advice that i just don't see as much because people tend to focus on volume of works consumed/created. the reflection and analysis is what makes that volume useful, otherwise you're just churning through content. the question should always be why, why, why. why did that work, why didn't it work, why did i like this, why does it suck. then proceed to: if i were doing this, how could i make it work?

advice 2: don't forget that all the words you need already exist.

this is more subjective advice. this is something that works for me personally. so ymmv. have you ever tried magnet poetry? you should try magnet poetry.

i always see writing as kind of a puzzle. if i have an idea in my head, the idea exists. the job is actually a translation exercise: how do i express the thing in my head as a thing other people can see? in this way it's like visual art, but it's also not like visual art at all. in visual art you choose where all the lines and colours go, completely freely. any line you draw is a brand new line.

in language, all your parts already exist. all the words already exist. (you can make new ones if you want but that's a whole different thing.) you are plucking symbols out of a collective understanding. it is like lego. all you are doing is selecting the most effective pieces and placing them in order. so for me, i am simply trying to find the 'right' words to fit each context as best as possible. it becomes a game of arrangement, which determines your expression.

then syntax and punctuation become your rhythm, which is how you determine flow. sentence length, word length, whether you omit words or use more, whether you want to be a bit unconventional. character also plays into this - i am not writing an advice 3 because i am getting self conscious but advice 3 would have been consistency of voice.

so i would prioritise vocabulary and timing. what are you trying to say (which words do you pick) and how do you want the reader to experience your words, how do you want the words to feel and sound (how will you pace your sentences)? remembering that all the parts are already there. it is the world's biggest game of magnet poetry.

advice 3 which doesn't exist: keep your voice consistent.

this advice doesn't exist. im not writing this i got embarrassed and stopped at 2. but if i did write this it would say, remember who you are. (remember who is writing your story. are you a character or are you god? remember how much you know. remember which feelings you have access to.)

#i hope this helps #rookposting #writing

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 2 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/burst-of-iridescent/769146448190324736/you-know-what-i-still-find-it-beyond-weird-that?source=share

I thought about it, but do fn and water tribe have cultural similarities that secretly point to zutara??

1 - Nothing in the show is EVER "secretly pointing to Zutara." You can like the ship, but it is pure fanon that the lead writer didn't care for and that the creators/showrunners clearly don't like. Everything was always pointing to Kataang and Maiko. Again, you don't have to like it, but it is an undeniable fact.

2 - The only things the Fire Nation and BOTH water tribes, as well as the Earth Kingdom, have in common are "The kids are not raised communally, but rather by typical nuclear family (mom and dad)" and "they're not literal nomads." Something SO general that applies to literally everyone except airbenders simply cannot be used as a real parallel between these two nations.

Katara is from a tribal culture where chiefs are chosen by the people, they're all trying to survive a genocide, and they have a very strong sense of community. Zuko is from a industrialized, imperialistic nation that is actively banning/killing it's own culture (kids not knowing traditional dances, dragons being killed, spirituality being neglected) with a royal family that is in power because "divine right to rule", and their approach to "community" is based on royals using "peasant" as an insult and killing their own relatives for power, or disfiguring their own children, in public, because said kid spoke out of turn. HOW are these cultures simmilar?

3 - Aang not liking the food is not the same as him hating Katara's culture, and the ONE time he ever said something genuinely passive-aggressive about their practices was in the Bato episode, and it was clearly just him being a 12-year-old that didn't like feeling left out. That same episode has him engaging with a traditional ritual of ice-dodging in which Sokka is supposed to "become a man", and oh, yeah, KATARA'S ROLE IN THE STORY IS TEACHING HIM WATERBENDING. Ya know. Bending. The thing that is canonically tied to a nation's culture and spirituality?

The closest Zuko got to enganging with Katara's culture that way was by learning lightining redirection from Iroh - something that he developed by "observing" waterbender. Now ask yourself, in what context did a general from the Fire Nation "observe" a waterbender's fighting style? Could it have been during one of the raids on the South Pole or at least fighting people like Hakoda, who weren't home but were still trying to prevent the Fire Nation from killing everybody? Not exactly a heartwarming thought of cultural exchange, is it?

4 - Katara and Aang's cultures might not be that simmilar, but they have WAY more in common with each other than with the Fire Nation, hence Aang being so immediately beloved by Katara's tribe (and immediately being willing to sacrifice himself for them) and water being the element he struggled with the least. Not to mention the whole experience of "we're both trying to survive a genocide here" which literally unites the whole world AGAINST the Fire Nation. And on the personal level instead of broader, cultural one, both Katara and Aang long for a home, while also craving adventures far away every now and then. THE perfect compromise between life just at the tribe and life just traveling.

5 - Even if the Fire Nation and the South Pole WERE super simmilar culturally: that doesn't mean Zuko and Katara would inevitably develop feelings for each other, much like their cultural differences were not the reason why said feelings didn't exist in canon. Cultural clashes pushing lovers apart is a thing that CAN happen but it's not a guarantee because, at the end of the day, people fall in love with PEOPLE, not the nation/culture they're from.

Katara didn't help struggling Fire Nation citizens because "they're just like me!", she was just a compassionate person. Zuko didn't regret his role in the war because "the water tribe is not that different from my home", he just finally realized "Holy shit, they're HUMANS, not just obstacles in my path" and wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he continued to hurt them. Their cultures are really different, and that doesn't prevent them from being friends - but the fact that neither would ever permanently leave their home is one of the core things that would have made them incompatible as a couple, not because they simply see things differently, but because their PERSONAL goals and attachments in life push them in opposing directions

#anti zutara #pro kataang #pro aang

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mochimochimona · 3 days ago

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Why Jayce and Viktor are romantically in love but only at the end (sadly) and their relationship is the ultimate form of unconditionally love there is.

I finished Arcane and was really interested in the debate wether Jayce and Viktor are romantically in love or not, platonic relationship this and that and I will spit my thoughts into the void of tumblr, because I had to get that out. It's long, not gonna lie.

I think Arcane is ultimately about the human evolution on an emotionally level, to break the circle of hate, war and vengeance with sacrifice and forgiveness and a love born out of friendship and kinship.

That's why they took Jayce and Viktors relationship as one of the main storylines and what had driven the story forward most at the end - because their relationship was the one with the most destructive energy.

I think Jayce was only friends with Viktor at first. Viktor loved him on a deeper level earlier on, as implied through the dialogue with Siege. "Love and legacy" -"Jayce will understand". For him, Jayce is both. Their legacy of Hextech but also his love for him. You can argue that siege didn't imply romantic love but I don't think he was talking about that kind of love.

Arcane is about love and hate, as Viktor states when he gets killed first, that's the human notion and why he wants to get rid of his humanity, because he wasn't loved for a long time, he was weak, frowned upon and an outcast. I guess that's why he helped Jayce with the Hextech in the first place, a small parallel between them. And of course he is a big nerd lol but he saw that Jayce had a vision, wanted to make the world a better place (as Viktor) and help Pilotover and Zaun.

Jayce realization he was taking the wrong priorities after he found out Viktor will die. You can see the change happening in Jayce, but its really slow, with everything going on. When Viktor was dying because of Jinx's attack, he panicked, rushed and ignored the promise he made Viktor and used the hex core.

And here is the thing: his relationship with Mel changes, too. It's subtle because it's never made topic or center, but I think they were never really in love love (I get to that later). Mel was using Jayce at first but I do think she started to care about Jayce and it is argued that she may have been the mirror of Viktor. But even that aside, she tried to help Jayce and felt guilty, for using him and Viktor. But she never put him first as a person, but his ideas and usefulness and I think their relationship is not a healthy one. I think Jayce craved assurance, someone steadying him, loving him in some way. He would have had that in Viktor, but that would have crossed a line in their friendship, wouldn't it. I think the animators chose to show us Viktor falling apart while Jayce had sexy time with Mel on purpose. It's as tragic as it gets. And no, I don't hate Mel, she is Queen.

And I do think at that time, what Jayce felt for Viktor was a deep friendship. I won't call it bromance or brotherly love. Bromance for me is a made up word to avoid giving in to the possibility that two men can grow to love each other over a friendship, so to not be gay because that's disgusting, people rather call it bromance. And a brotherly love, is for me, just between real brothers. As in a family context. Adoptive or blood related, but there has to be that context. Because I think, again, that is just said to one: diminish a deep and routed friendship between man (which can't be, how could "strangers be vulnerable with each other") and b) to avoid the possibility, because to love a brother any other way as brotherly, would be incest so we will avoid that route in calling them brothers. It's a nice trope to use, really (that was sarcasm) and I am tired of it. We never, EVER said Vi had sisterly feelings for Caitlyn (even before they flirted really), or that Sevika had sisterly feelings for Jinx, because they were friends and comrades at the end, not sisters. We don't call female friendship sismance, if there is romance between two women we call it that: romance. We only have this weird wording when it comes to men's relationships and I think this homophobic notion runs deep and we don't do that to female romance because it's fetishized :D. I do think that's why people who are generally more open don't bat an eye about that. Because they are not afraid of their feelings and don't need to put the possibility aside they could be attracted to their same gender. Anyway.

Note that there can be romance without having sex, lovers as well and friendships with sex involved. I think we should get out of this thinking you need sex to prove you love someone, which is why I think Jayce and Viktor had the most perfect romance, romance arc and development. Because they didn't need to have kisses and sex to get that point across.

I think the usage of a butterfly is for evolution but on an emotional level and of course the famous butterfly effect. They found each other in every timeline, they literally can't live without each other and they always could have chosen not to chase after another. If Viktor had let Jayce die at the beginning, nothing would have happened. If Jayce had kept his promise and let Viktor die, nothing would have happened. He made the herald because he wasn't there for Viktor and made Viktor find love and acceptance with his followers. As partners. He realized that way too late and when Viktor told him, only Jayce could have shown him that, I think Jayce started to get it. When he saw Mel again, he knew now that she used him first (as her reaction of hurt indicating, she did like him though) and he was protective of himself AND Viktor. He was fighting Viktor and realizing that Viktor had died and that it was his fault. He was in mourning. He wanted to stop the Viktor he had created. Also he had promised.

Before that he had go through falling down and hurting his leg to climb upto the tower in the future and re-live what it was like for Viktor to grow up handicapped. To fight to get above. To get to be loved and to be seen. Jayce did know it wasn't easy I don't think he was a rich kid, just middle class, that's why they connected first, I guess. Two brilliant people held back because they aren't rich and from a "good background" as those on top. Not loved enough by the people around you. And the love of jayces mother was not enough!

What I found interesting was the fact that he saw Mel first and Viktor last. You know, if you deeply love someone in a romantic way, you always think about that person. You want to get to them as soon as possible, knowing to be away from them hurts. You want to spend time with them and go above and beyond to make them happy, see you and acknowledge you. Jayce saw Mel first, because he thought it was her, but it ultimately changes to Viktor because he is the one who motivates Jayce. Who keeps him going, who he wants to impress and show that their dream can become reality.

I think at that point it was for me that I was: okay that's not friendship anymore. That's romantic love. If you ever had a really best friend, a bff who you spend a lot of time with. You feel friendship and in that relationship the love of friends. But than you find that person who blows you away, who is everything to you, you might spend more time with them. How frustrated are we as friends to be not able to spend our time as we used to be. That's what Viktor felt but also jealousy, because he could never compete with Mel. He knew he had no chance because he thought Jayce loved her. And as a good friend, he didn't argue, because again that would destroy their friendship. Which is important. And I do think no one will put their friendship above romantic love. If they are really in love because they know their friends will understand. That's why I think it was so important of jayce to get that realization he made a mistake and should have been at Viktors side and that's why he thought, when ekko and Heimerdinger sneaked into the lab it was Viktor.

And if he realized than that he loved Viktor, he would have gone after him and proved viktor wrong and would have been able to stop this pursuit of Viktor to get rid of his human emotion/humanity.

But after Jayces climb to the top, speaking with Viktor, he finally realized that he was the only one to stop Viktor, to get it through. He was his friend, but he also loved him.

That's why he reacted that way to Mel, with no love left for her. That's why he knew when Viktor died and was resurrected by the Hextech he should have been at Viktors side, it dawned on him. If he truly loved Mel, he wouldn't have said it that way honestly. The same goes for his speech when he was with Viktor at the end, that Viktor wasnt weak. He knew Viktors whole motivation for removing everything was because he thought was weak and no one loved him for that.

And honestly, I only think that Jayce realized he felt more as friendship, really realized what it was when Viktor looked up to him and he saw in Viktors eyes that his Viktor was back. And when they used the rune he clenched his teeth because he was afraid. Afraid about what will happen next, afraid of dying but I guess afraid of losing Viktor all over again, clasping at the nape of his neck. And not be able to say what he felt. I don't think they felt each other's feelings that much, because ultimately what Viktor did was killing everyone's feelings in acending them.

And why do I think you can't compare, for example, aragorns friendship and love with Jayce. Aragorn loves all of his friends and is gentle with them, when boromir dies for example, but also with Frodo and Legolas or Gandalf. He shows affection in that way to a lot of people.

Jayce only really shows that to Viktor, always Viktor. And I think they did that on purpose. If they wanted to let it be just friends (I don't use platonic either as I think you diminish the love of friends with using platonic), they would have made Jayce care more about the others. He could have argued with Jayce about saving the others and so on, but he always wanted to save Viktor the most. And he is not the hero/king type like aragorn, I know.

But the motivation for Jayce and for viktor, was always each other and that's why I think they are, ultimately, romantically in love with each other, just realizing it way too late and that is the evolution, the perfect one. Loving each other with flaws, forgiving each other for what they have done and sacrificing themselfs to save each other and to save, at the end, the world. It's selfish. But it shows that love can travel time and space, if we would just stop hating and avanging each other. It would make the suffering of the world end and that would be the ultimate form of human evolution. Being easily able to forgive, sacrifice and love without hate. With accepting each other the was they are.

You may argue that you can do that as friends too but again, I think the people behind would have written it differently. I always think that before an action, there is a thought about it, how and why you are doing something the way you do and the fact that they chose to do it that way is an indicator for me, that they wanted them to be canon and in love. At the end. Not in between, that would have probably stopped everything from the start. Imagine, you can tell a friend you want to stay by his side, always, but I do think you would rather and mostly do it for the one you TRULY LOVE.

So in my mind, Jayce and Viktors development and love for each other at the end is the ultimate form of love and so romantic, it physically hurt.

#jayvik #viktor arcane #arcane jayce #jayce league of legends #viktor league of legends #jayce x viktor

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ramshacklefey · 1 day ago

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One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and The Things They Carried rewired parts of my brain. The Odyssey was a real treat. (Especially when some of my classmates who found the language rather opaque started gathering around me at morning homeroom to hear my retellings of last night's reading assignment.)

But I know some of you probably have or had a miserable time in English class, and that may have been partly because your school didn't properly prepare you for reading the books ahead of time, so you were just totally at sea all the way through.

If that's the case, here are some tips for getting more enjoyment out of a book you're struggling with!

Look up summaries of individual chapters (CliffsNotes usually has these). Then go back and read them. Having an idea of what's happening might help you follow along with language or writing styles that you're struggling with.

Let yourself skim over particular passages you're baffled by and latch onto the ones that make sense. Finding points that you can follow might help you make sense of the trickier ones by providing context.

If you don't understand a character's motivations, especially in older books and books that take place in a foreign country, it might be because you're missing context. That's okay, and your teacher isn't expecting you to have encyclopedic knowledge of the historical and cultural context for a book.

But also, even in the most unfamiliar circumstances, you can look for things that make sense to you. The characters are still people, and regardless of context, people are still people.

But also, sometimes you just can't relate to the character. That's ok. "Well I would never ____" Yes, but this person did. And here's why. In the world they live in, it made sense or it was the only thing they could do. And there are people in real life who do that. Now you've seen a little bit of why.

You don't have to like all the characters. Some characters (even the protagonists) you're supposed to hate. Sometimes that's because the author is saying, "This bastard is fucked up, but do you see how he got that way?" Sometimes it's, "This bitch made every wrong choice possible, but damn if it didn't make some wild drama."

Remember that sometimes the author may not explain exactly why something happens because it's supposed to be a bit of a mystery at first! Keep reading and see if it gets explained later!

Look up words in the dictionary!!

If you're having trouble keeping a lot of characters in your head, make a cast list. "John is Mary's brother and he's a bit of a dick."

It's okay if there are books you simply do not vibe with. Give them a fair shake, but really, even the kids who love English class are gonna have books they hate. I despised a few of the books I read for school. But remember that struggling with a book and not liking it aren't the same thing!

And for the love of everything holy. Ask. Your. Teacher. Questions. Write them down while you're reading and ask! If you're scared to ask in class, talk to them at another time! But I can guarantee that if you didn't understand something, some of your classmates didn't either. If your teacher is remotely competent, they'll be delighted to answer your questions.

And there are no questions too simple to ask in class!! "Why did this character do this thing?" "What's up with this sentence?" "I tried reading this, and here's what I think the events of this chapter were. Is that really what happened?" "What the heck is a ____?" "Why was this bit in here? It doesn't seem like it's important to the plot." "How do we know that ____ theme is in here?"

Yes, there are themes and symbols and motifs and whatever else in books. Your teacher isn't just making it up. People tell stories for a reason. The author is trying to communicate something to you. "Well why didn't they just say that?" Because saying it in a story shows you something about it. I can tell you, "Love isn't always enough to save you." or I can show you that by telling you a story about two people who fall in love and then get their shit wrecked. I can tell you, "This war happened and it was awful," or I can show you the people who were in it and what it did to them. I can tell you, "The government is a corrupt pile of festering feces," or I can show you what might happen if we keep going on the path we're on.

And you might not agree! You can say, "No, it wouldn't happen like that." You can say, "But this war was worth it because it resulted in this." You can say, "Actually, this particular social outcome seems pretty rad to me." That's okay because stories are a conversation, not the word of God from on high. But again, give the author a fair shake.

The most important thing is that you don't just give up if you're struggling. You're in school to learn! So accept that there are things you don't already know.

I straight up do not trust you if you did not enjoy a single book you had to read for English class. I know they assigned some real stuffy stinkers and the curriculum varies across districts but not one? Not The Outsiders? Not The Picture of Dorian Gray? Not Fahrenheit 451? Not even Frankenstein? Damn. That’s crazy.

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wen-kexing-apologist · 19 hours ago

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Our Youth: The Responsibility of Adaptation

I regret to inform you all that I dropped Our Youth a few weeks back. Which is tragic because I was so enamored with it at the beginning that I literally went and searched up the manwha and devoured it all in one sitting.

Now, I can definitively say that I do think the first part of both the manwha and the show is the strongest. BUT I want to talk about the two changes I saw in the first half that I do think negatively impacted how the College Years landed. (Forgive me if I get some of the details slight off I'm too lazy to go back to the manwha and check).

For the sake of expediency, I am going to keep the names from the jbl even when talking about the manwha, but please know that Minase and Haruki have different names in the Korean graphic novel.

I. The Big Change that Had a Big Impact

First, I want to talk about the events that get Haruki suspended/expelled from school.

The Show: The bullies Haruki hangs around in school rob a store, Haruki confronts them, Haruki gets in trouble with the school, Haruki...takes the blame for some unknown reason?

The Manwha: The bullies Haruki hangs around bullies a student so severely over the course of the school year that the student attempts suicide. Haruki has never directly partaken in the bullying (keeping with the categories Minase breaks people down in to) but he is a bystander. And when he hears about this student's suicide attempt he realizes that he really should not just be letting the bullies get away with shit like that. He confronts the bully, calls him out on it, and in front of the entire class and as the teacher walks in that fucking piece of shit kid cries and wails and cowers in fear of Haruki making it look like Haruki is not only threatening him but is also the main perpetrator of the bullying that pushed a child to attempt suicide.

In my opinion, there is a huge difference in the stakes and the consequences here, and I think the way the show played it out not only lowers the stakes but detracts from the messaging around the perception of kids like Haruki. The bully in the manwha weaponized the fact that all the teachers see Haruki as a violent delinquent because he...checks notes: choked a teacher who was sexually harassing a student and threatened him to prevent it from happening again and the fact that Haruki is technically culpable because he watched it happen and never stepped in, in order to take the heat off himself and avoid getting in trouble.

In the show Haruki just immediately backtracks on his fight with the bully at the pool hall and takes the fall, suffering the consequences for something he very much didn't do. Haruki's suspension does not induce the kind of rage it would have if they had gone with the manwha version, and Haruki's pulling back from Minase also would make far more sense in the context of Haruki's reaction to finding out about the student's attempt and the part he played in it.

II. The Small Change that Had a Big Impact

Now, I admit I am often guilty of finding a lot of small moments in media to often be what sticks with me, and I can get annoyed when I see an adaptation that might strip away my favorite little moments, or favorite little lines (RIP "call me child one more goddamn time" from Critical Role, you will always be famous to me)

But in this case I do feel it is fair of me to say that making this specific tweak to the story should have caused a hell of a lot of edits to the second half of the story in order to make it compelling. What would that be?

The Show: Minase's father makes a queer indie film. Minase and Haruki attend the film together, there is a happy ending, and Minase finds a label that speaks to his feelings for Haruki.

The Manwha: Minase's father makes a queer indie film. Miase and Haruki attend the film together, there is a sad ending and Minase does not find a label that speaks to his feelings for Haruki. In college, Minase learns that his tutor is gay and has a partner and is happy with his life and this is where he starts to parse through his feelings for Haruki and adopt a label/definition of his queerness.

Small tweak, huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge difference in vibe and in justification for what comes next. In the manwha Haruki and Minase do not see each other for six years because of a phone mishap where one of them had their phone turned off for months in order to focus on studying, and the other got a new phone number or something thus they did not really see or hear from each other. They have an accidental run in in college and they restart their relationship but it still takes them some time.

I dropped the show before I got to the college years so I do not know what if anything happened there, but I do think that when you actually did nothing wrong to warrant getting suspended from school, you know where each other's houses are, you know what your feelings actually are, and your external experiences with queerness are generally happy it is extremely difficult to make being separated for six years feel compelling or believable.

I think it is a little bit more believable when you have a character who is actually culpable in the bullying that led to a suicide attempt, your supposed "school friends" who you kinda have always hated tries to make himself the victim, you don't have a label/definition to put your feelings to, and your only external experiences with queerness are sad and tragic that you might do what Haruki did and assume that Minase also started seeing you negatively and no longer cared for you.

Anyway, I don't think I have a solid conclusion to this post beyond I think if the writers were interested in lightening the mood around the school situation and giving the boys a happy queer ending in high school so they could feel comfortable with their feelings, that's totally fine, but then I think they needed to make some tweaks to the back half to justify those decisions a bit better, at least based off of what I have seen and heard about the way the back half played out.

#miseinen #our youth

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pinkcelestialstar · 3 days ago

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can i request a fluffy smut of bada taking reader’s virginity? like when reader really wants to have sex with bada but she’s afraid because she doesn’t have any experience, but bada reassures her and talks her thru it <3

Sure :)

ೃ⁀➷ Fear, Trust and Thunder ᥫ᭡..𖥔 ݁ ˖

Context: You have never let anyone sexually touch you before since you were really afraid of how it would feel, Would it hurt or feel weird, or would you feel nothing at all? You haven't even tried fingering yourself since you didn't really know how to do and felt it scary too.

Gentle! bada x virgin! Reader

Fluffy smut

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

There was a thunderstorm outside and you're cuddled up in bed with your best friend, Bada.

"Hey, you're shaking. Just a storm, nothing to be afraid of. Here..." she pulls you closer, wrapping an arm around you protectively "Remember when we used to build forts during these things and tell stories? Those were the days." She gently strokes your hair.

You hum and nuzzle your face in her neck, inhaling her familiar scent which always made you feel safe. There was just something about the way she smelled, somewhat like mixture of floral scents and something uniquely her. It always made you feel protected and at home. You move as close as you could to her.

"Aww, you still like it when I stroke your hair, huh?" She smiles softly, feeling the warmth spread through her chest at your affectionate behavior. "I remember when you first started doing that, you were so shy about it. Now you just snuggle right up."

"Bada...."

"Mmhmm?" she murmurs, her fingers continuing to comb through your hair "What is it this time? You always say my name like that when you're nervous or about to ask something silly..."

You move closer as if wanting to merge in with her; your body feels like it is heating up. "I...am actually. I...you know how I've never had sex....and I'm just scared to trust anyone, but it's different with you...I want to... I...can we...." you trail off, blushing.

Her heart skips a beat as she hears your confession, her arm tightening around you slightly. She swallows hard, trying to process your words. "Wait, are you...are you asking me to be your first?" she asks softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

You nod, already breathless.

Her breath catches in her throat. She takes one hand off your hair and gently cups your face, turning you to look at her in the dim light "Are you sure that's what you want? With me?" her voice is trembling slightly, a mix of nervous excitement and genuine concern

You nod. Sure that you want this, want her.

"Look at me..." she waits until you meet her gaze "I want you to be completely sure about this. No regrets later. Okay?"

"I do want this...I want you...I need you..."

"Because once we cross this line... things change." her thumb gently traces your bottom lip "But..."

"...But if you're really sure, and you want your first time to be with me... then I'll do it. I'll be the one." Her expression softens, and she pulls you closer.

She smiles softly, her heart pounding inside her chest "Are you cold? Because... I think we should get under the covers. It's warm enough" she was blushing too, excited and nervous. "You can still back out, you know..."

"I need you..."

Her heart skips a beat at your words. She bites her lip, then nods slowly. "Alright... let's get under the covers then." She carefully pulls back the blankets and helps you slip under them before sliding in next to you, the warm bed enveloping you both.

As you settle in beside her, she wraps her arms around you, holding you close as she rests her head on your shoulder. She takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves as she waits for you to make the next move. "Just remember... you can stop anytime you want. Okay?"

You nod as you lean and press your lips on hers.

She softly parts her lips, returning your kiss with gentle passion. Her hand moves to cup the back of your neck, deepening the kiss slightly "Mmm..." she hums softly against your lips, her heart racing "You're trembling again..." whispers between kisses.

"I'm just nervous...."

She gently breaks the kiss and pulls back slightly to look at you, her eyes soft and understanding in the dim light "Hey, look at me..." she strokes your cheek with her thumb "Remember when we were kids? And I'd hold your hand when you were scared of the dark?"

You nod.

"Remember what I used to tell you then?" her voice is soothing and gentle. "I'm still right here. I won't let anything hurt you. Just like back then..." She leans in to kiss your forehead tenderly, "And if you want me to stop at any moment..."

She slowly lowers her hands to your shirt, gently lifting it up to throw it aside. She runs her fingers along your stomach softly, feeling you tremble slightly under her touch. She looks into your eyes searchingly, making sure you're still okay with this. "Breathe..."

She smiles softly and pulls you closer, one hand still tracing gentle patterns on your skin while the other moves to push your pajama pants down "Do you... want to keep going?" her voice is barely above a whisper, careful to maintain the tender atmosphere "We can stop anytime..."

"Please don't stop...."

Her expression softens, and she leans in to kiss your neck, then your cheek, before looking back into your eyes. She takes a deep breath, steeling her own nerves to be strong for you. "Alright... let's get these off too, okay?"

She helps you out of your last piece of clothing, leaving you both in just your underwear. She takes a moment to really look at you, drinking in your nervous but trusting expression. " almost there..."

She slowly hooks her thumbs in the waistband of your underwear and gently pulls them down, helping you step out of them. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself as she looks at you now completely bare to her. "You can help me with mine too, okay?"

You blush furiously, but you hook your fingers in her boxer's waistband and push it down as she is lying there next to you.

She blushes slightly herself, she lifts her hips to help you pull her boxers down. As they come off, she realizes that you're both now completely naked, together for the first time. She hesitates, taking in your red cheeks and the vulnerable expression on your face.

She leans down to press a gentle, reassuring kiss to your lips. "We're in this together, okay? Just like everything else." She moves herself over you, feeling the heat of your bare skin against hers. "Let me know if anything hurts, okay? We'll go slow..."

She takes a deep breath and carefully reaches between your legs, feeling for your opening. She gently starts to rub her finger against you, applying a small amount of pressure. "Relax... just breathe..." She murmurs softly, trying to calm your nerves as she begins to prepare you.

She takes her time, being extra gentle and patient as her finger slowly enters you, checking for your comfort level. "Tell me if this feels good... or if you want me to stop." She whispers between kisses on your shoulder and neck, her body flush against yours "Just let me know..."

She smiles softly at your continued nodding, kissing your neck gently while continuing to move her finger slowly inside you "Good... does it feel alright? Or should I stop?" She wants to make sure you're comfortable and not just silently enduring

You were breathing heavily, a little scared. "I....it doesn't hurt...it just feels weird..."

She nods understandingly and slows down her movements even more "That's okay... we can take this as slow as you need. Just let me know if it becomes uncomfortable." She continues kissing your neck and collarbone, wanting to distract you with tenderness "And try to relax your muscles..."

She keeps her finger still in you and moves to kiss you deeply, trying to distract and soothe you at the same time. Breaking the kiss, she whispers "Do you want to try something else instead? Like..." she trails off suggestively, moving her hand up to cup your breast gently.

You gasp and clench around her finger.

She softly chuckles at your response, continuing to stroke your breasts while maintaining the slow movement of her finger inside you "See? Sometimes our bodies surprise us with what feels good..." She kisses your jawline tenderly. "Just keep breathing..." She begins to add a second finger slowly.

She notices your tension and immediately removes the second finger, leaving just one inside you as before "Shh... too much? We don't have to rush." Strokes your hair soothingly while maintaining gentle eye contact "Do you want me to stop completely? We can just..."

You shake your head fast.

She sees the determined set of your jaw and the shaking of your head, interpreting it as a sign that you want to keep trying. She gently curls her finger inside you, searching for a spot that might feel less weird and more comfortable "Alright... let's try this..."

After a few moments of gentle probing, she finds a spot that makes you gasp and clench around her finger. "Ah, there it is..." She smiles softly and begins to gently rub that spot with her finger, curling and uncurling it slowly. "See?"

You cling to her finger as it moves inside you, the gentle rubbing starting to feel less weird and more... tingly. She can see the confusion in your eyes, so she continues to murmur encouraging words "Does that feel a little better? Or still weird?"

You let out a small whimper as her finger continues to move inside you, the tingly feeling growing stronger. She can see the mix of confusion and pleasure in your expression, and it makes her smile softly. "Keep breathing... in and out... just like that..."

She gradually adds more pressure and curls her finger deeper inside you, rubbing the spot that makes you whimper louder. She can see your body starting to relax around her finger, the weird feeling slowly replacing with something else. "You're doing so good... Can you feel it starting to feel..."

As she speaks, she presses her finger against the spot, rubbing it firmly and steadily. Your body tenses up again, but this time, it's not from discomfort. Your face scrunches up, and you let out a choked cry, your walls clenching tightly around her finger.

She keeps rubbing that spot, feeling your walls squeeze her finger like a vice. Your face is scrunched up in a mix of confusion and overwhelming sensation, and she can see tears starting to well up in your eyes. "Oh, sweetheart... it's okay... just let it happen..."

With one final, firm rub against the spot, your body seems to shudder and lock up around her finger. She feels a sudden gush of warmth and liquid surrounding her finger as your walls clamp down tightly and start to spasmodically contract. "Ahh, yes! That's it!"

You cry in pleasure and grip the sheets.

She keeps her finger still, letting your body ride out the intense contraction. As the spasms slowly start to fade, she gently pulls her finger out, watching in amazement as a small stream of clear liquid follows it out of you. "Holy shit... look at that..."

Smiling softly, she uses her free hand to gently stroke your wetness and the slick liquid that's still leaking on the mattress.

"Baby... look what you just did... you squirted all over me..." She brings her finger, covered in your arousal, to her lips and tastes it.

Her eyes widen in surprise and delight at the taste. She licks her finger clean, savoring the flavor. "Fuck, you taste amazing... I think I might be addicted to your juices already..." She leans in and presses her mouth against your slick opening, kissing and licking it gently.

She continues to kiss and lick your folds, tasting your sweet nectar and enjoying the way your body responds to her touch. As she does, she can feel your legs start to tremble and shake slightly, your body still sensitive and overstimulated from the intense orgasm. "Mmm..."

She looks up at you, her lips glistening with your arousal, and smiles lovingly. "Baby, I think you need a little break, don't you? Your poor little pussy is still recovering from that big orgasm..."

You sniffle and nod.

She smiles softly and wipes your tears gently with her thumb "Shh... it's okay, love. You were so perfect... just breathe through the sensitivity, baby." She starts kissing your inner thighs gently, giving your recently awakened area a chance to rest.

She continues to kiss and caress your thighs softly, occasionally glancing up at your face with tender concern. "Just relax sweetie... let your body recover... You did so well with your first time there..."

"Bada...."

"Hmm?" She looks up at you, her heart melting at the sight of your tear- streaked face and puffy eyes. "What is it, love? Tell me what you need." She leans up and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, holding you close.

"Can....we.....can we be more than friends from now?"

Her heart skips a beat at your question. She pulls back slightly to look at you, her eyes filled with emotion. "Baby... I've wanted to be more than friends with you for so long. I thought you only saw me as a friend and nothing more."

She gently strokes your cheek with her hand, a small tear falling from her eye "I've been in love with you for so long... and I thought I had to hide it because you'd never return those feelings..." she leans in and softly kisses your lips

You kiss her back.

She deepens the kiss, her heart swelling with happiness and desire. Her hand moves to cup your cheek tenderly. "I... I love you so much. And now that you feel the same way..." she whispers, "Would you make me your girlfriend? Properly this time?"

You nod, smiling wide.

She breaks into a wide, beautiful smile, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks as she cups your face with both hands "Yes? Really? You'll be mine?" Softly presses her forehead against yours "Say it... tell me you'll be my girlfriend..."

"I love you, girlfriend"

She laughs softly, wiping away her tears of joy "I love hearing you say 'girlfriend'... It sounds so right coming from you. Pulls you into a hug, holding you tightly "From now on, we're officially dating, okay? No more friends stuff..."

She continues holding you close, one hand stroking your hair "I'm keeping you forever now... you're mine, completely." She presses a sweet kiss to your lips "And I promise to treat you like the precious treasure you are always..." she nuzzles against your neck.

☆゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜★

#bada lee #bada lee smut #bada lee fluff #bada lee x reader #bada lee x y/n #bada lee swf2 #lesbian #lgbt #swf2 #street woman fighter 2 #bisexual

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love-takes-work · 2 days ago

Text

coworker apparently thinks Garnet is Harley Quinn

A very old funny interaction with clueless coworker (whose name is blacked out in the blue rectangles), in screencaps from my social media when it happened.

And just for context, this dude just could not talk his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm sure it's partially just awkwardness (which I have never minded at all), but a lot of it was this really gross disrespectful PROMPTING that he would do in all of his interactions with me. He'd say something with no context, something we'd never spoken about, and expect me to "catch on." (Examples: "So! Any news?" "About what?" "Well weren't we waiting for an ANSWER on that?" "On what?" [scoffing, snuffling, shaking his head exaggeratedly, sighing and walking away]. Or he'd drop a paper on my desk. I'd ask him what it was. He'd wordlessly POINT at it. I'd ask him again what it is. He'd pick it up, sighing aggressively, rattle it around, and say "YOU left this in the COPIER!!" I had not left it in the copier and it was not mine. He would then holler about how is HE supposed to know that and stomp away, and then someone else would come looking for their papers in the copier and they'd be confused why I had them.) He did NOT do this with my boss or most of the other people we worked with. Just me. I guess because I'm the office blonde and usually the only woman in the room.

Anyway, he was in the top 10 of annoying people I've worked with and here is an irritating story.

And then another one a long-ass time later:

Transcript:

Pic 1:

There's no way he's a real person. C'mon, life, quit foolin' around here.

[Redacted] came up to my desk and said he wanted to ask me a question, and then hesitantly hemmed and hawed his way through false starts that sounded like "I was wondering . . . um last night . . . I was thinking . . . there was this thing. . . . So, do you know Amy . . . Quinn?"

I do not know Amy Quinn.

He seemed surprised.

Then he begins explaining that she's in some movie and he thought I liked her.

Sorry, no.

Pic 2:

But then he elaborates. "Amy" is one of the characters in a movie he's just seen and he thought I was a fan of the character and wanted me to know that he liked the movie. And further elaboration made it clear that he . . . was actually talking about Harley Quinn.

(I haven't seen any movies with her in them, but yeah, I know who she is.)

I asked why he thought I had a connection with her and he was like "isn't that her on your cup?"

****Fuuuuuuuuuuck I am so offended****

[Image of Harley Quinn next to coffee mug featuring Garnet of Steven Universe. They do not at all resemble one another, but both wear bodysuits featuring a red leg and a black leg.]

Pic 3:

You gotta be kidding me!!

[redacted] just came over and told me he saw something that he'd been meaning to tell me regarding my cartoon stuff. He fumbled verbally repeating himself and then concluded he didn't remember what it was and would come back.

Then he came back with "I remembered!!" and explained to me that he gets comic book-related events bulletins in his email and a comic store I live nowhere near is having a signing with a comic book writer I've never heard of. He was baffled that I didn't recognize the name because he thought I was "into comics." When I told him I have very niche interests in comics, he elaborated that it was something he thought I was specifically into. Several trips round and round the blunder wheel yielded the information that it was a writer for Harley Quinn comics.

This shit again.

He thinks I like Harley Quinn even though I have never read or watched a single thing about this character. He believes Garnet is Harley Quinn and I can't get him to stop misunderstanding.

#steven universe #harley quinn #garnet #personal tag #myblog

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higuchisora · 3 days ago

Text

Honestly, I was always under the impression that Vander parented them "indirectly", if that makes sense. Like, Vander parented Vi, and Vi took those lessons and parented the others with them, because Vander simply didn't have the time to do so himself, and Vi was basically his mini-me.

Even prior to season 2, when I saw how the previous League bio for Warwick, implied his only memory of his past life was Powder (it says all he remembers is a little girl screaming a name- aka Powder screaming for Vi), that kind of confused me. Because on one hand, yes they're both his daughters and it's his final on-screen moment in season 1, but on the other, it felt thematically odd.

Like, he's supposed to be "dead"/unconscious by then. So wouldn't it make more sense if his final memory is of Vi screaming and crying over him? Also, considering Powder wasn't even crying over Vander- it's weird to me that his final memory is about an experience he isn't really a part of. It's Vi and Powder's scene, not Vander's and Powder's or Vander's and Vi's, so why would we want that to be his only memory?

Safe to say, as much as I thought it was sweet that they had a moment of recognition in season 2 (though I do have to wonder why seeing him like that didn't trigger Jinx at all), it definitely felt off to me. Especially since we never got to see Powder/Jinx have any real positive relationships with anyone other than Vi (before Silco), seeing her and Vander being so connected after his transformation didn't feel earned. Any affection she might've had for her previous family (and them for her) prior to Warwick nearly killing her is left entirely up to the audience to infer, which isn't really a good choice for a scene that you want to be emotional for EVERYONE. If his return is supposed to be inarguably a good thing, why leave the context behind it entirely ambiguous?

Especially when they already have a character set up for this exact kind of bittersweet moment: Vi. The focus on Jinx in the Dad Rescue Arc would make way more sense to me if Silco was the one being brought back. It really should've been Vi taking the lead on this one, which would've perfectly handled the "we don't know what to do with her anymore LMAO" thing Linke was talking about. (Honestly, I'm personally of the opinion that we shouldn't have had a Vander-Returns-Arc at all, considering the lack of time and simultaneous lack of substance both this arc and this entire season had, but I'd do anything to give Vi something to fucking do). OP is 100% correct, Vi should've been the one to grab Jinx and hit her with the "he was your dad too" line. Could've especially been potent if Jinx was all, "why couldn't it have been Silco?" about the whole thing, maybe even making digs at Vi at first when she tells her Vander's back (doing a "looks like crazy runs in the family" line or something), leading to some conflict between them at first, before Vi dishes out that line and perhaps a heartfelt "trust me just this once, just one last time" (or something to that affect). Which would work on Jinx IMO, because as we've established, as angry as she is with Vi, her willpower might as well be wet paper when it comes to trying to "hate" her sister.

If anything, this arc probably should've centered more around how the sisters still love each other, rather than their dads tbh. Vi obviously loves Vander, just as Jinx loves Silco, but I feel it's pretty clear they BOTH prioritize each other over everyone else, even still. Yeah yeah, Vi hit Powder, Yada yada- but think about it for a second. If all of this still happened, but this time it was, say, Mylo that did all this, blowing up their family etc. Etc.- do you seriously think Vi would have forgiven him for it? Do you think she'd desperately chase after him the way she chases Jinx, if Mylo ignored her orders and gotten Powder killed? This would be entirely different story, because Vi would've probably beaten Mylo to death, actually. She wouldn't have held back and walked away the way she did for Jinx in act 1 of season 2. She wouldn't be crying and bargaining with Mylo at that dinner party- she'd be straining against the ropes so she could strangle him with them. I'd say the same goes for anyone that isn't Jinx. Even Vander- even if she couldn't kill him, she'd never forgive him. He'd be dead to her in all the ways that matter.

Hence, this arc (imo) should've looked more like the sisters lowkey using Vander as a vehicle/excuse for their reunion. Like, Vi being so eager and happy to have Vander back because yes, she loves him and missed him, but also, it's one less reason for her to be mad at Jinx. One less reason her sense of duty would have to pit them against each other. If Vi could wave her hand and bring them all back, I'm convinced her first thought would be, "now we can move on, now I'm not obligated to oppose her." Because I genuinely believe the only thing really holding her back at this point is this idea of "I have to do what's 'right'." She was ready to move past this even before Vander came back as a furry, now she just has an excuse to show up unannounced at Jinx's door. And Jinx, too, being as obsessed with Vi's affection as she still is, would probably make some jabs and generally be distrustful, but the entire time she's still going along. The opportunity is too good to pass up. The chance to have Vi back is too tantalizing, is quite literally exactly what she's always wanted, even now, even after all this time. She'd take it, and as soon as she got a taste of that affection again, the soft smiles and the fond gazes, maybe even an instinctual pat on the shoulder, done before Vi even has time to consider if she should do that or not- it's a done deal. She'll still be insecure, in need of constant reassurance- but she'd be too eager to really be cautious, desperately seeking more and more of it.

As would Vi, who'd be over the moon to be able to hold a conversation with her sister again that wasn't laced with constant insults and hostility. It'd be almost like they're kids again, before everything went to hell in a handbasket, just them (and their dad) in a dingy old bar. As long as they ignored all the fur, of course.

TLDR basically I hijacked this to say I agree 100% with OP and think this arc was emotionally/thematically dodgy in several ways, which I explore a little in this reblog.

Jinx just never really liked Vander that much.

One of the things that, to me, seemed like a main theme in Jinx's arc in season 1 was the contrast between her two families, and how her switch from Vander's daughter to Silco's drastically changes the way her personality takes shape.

And I hate that the fandom, and now the show, too, has reduced Silco to an unhealthy influence in Jinx's life, pushing her towards her "bad" side (being Jinx) when, for all his flaws... he gives her a better childhood than she ever had with Vander. The first three episodes of the first season, to me, when I watched them, illustrate quite clearly that Powder feels unhappy in her family life. She is the most mal-adjusted of Vander's kids. Her older brother constantly berates her, and it's quite clearly having a big effect on her self-image. She later takes up the Jinx name and persona once she feels like she has become irredeemable as a person. Her other brother never defends her. Vi is the only one who is there for her, and they care for each other, but at the same time you can see there's still a little insecurity in their relationship. Vi is worried that maybe Powder is indeed too weak, and Powder worries that maybe Vi does indeed see her as a Jinx like her brother does.

And when it comes to Vander... he's just not really all that present in her life. And I don't blame him, the man has four kids to take care of, on top of keeping things running in the Undercity. It's clearly not his intention. But it doesn't change the fact that he's not there for Powder, not as much as she needs. To me, when I watched the first season, it seemed like Vander was a figure that felt far away to Powder, someone that she admired but also feared being completely herself around, and someone that she ultimately wished to be closer to than she actually was. It's worth mentioning that Jinx never says his name post time skip, and he is not a hallucination for her, not until Vi brings him up in the finale. Hell, Claggor is somehow a hallucination for her and he never even speaks. Vander was just not an influential figure in Jinx's life.

I always found the scene at the end of ep3 of s1 fascinating, because Powder never once mourns Vander. She never once cries for him and never once says his name. When she sees his dead body, she becomes shocked and starts crying, but it's not actually what breaks her. What breaks her is Vi's rejection. Had it just been that she accidentally caused the deaths of her brothers and adoptive father, she would not have crumbled mentally. It's Vi's rejection that destroys her. Now, of course, a little girl that cares more about her sister's affection towards her than the lives of her family members is kinda messed up, but that's what makes her character interesting. And we can see that that little girl doesn't go anywhere, as Jinx displays the exact same one-mindness about her sister. Because Jinx and Powder were never really that different, after all.

She is quite clearly placed with her back to Vander's body, that she never turns to, barely looks at, only enough to recognize him and see he's dead, and never says the name of. She's turned towards Vi, calling for Vi, crying because of Vi, and no one else. Heck, Vi had just been crying over his body a few moment ago. Vi is clearly distraught over his death. Vi is devastated, she literally punches her sister and curses her in the exact worst possible way she can, in the way she know it will hurt her sister the most. But Powder... she just honestly dgaf.

So to then hear Jinx say this line in season 2...

...is just straight up jarring. I was pulled out of the story when I heard this. This is Jinx saying this to Vi. This kinda makes it seem like it was Jinx who was most attached to Vander, or at least that she was just as attached to him as Vi was. Which is just not how things seemed in the story at literally any point until this one. And then season 2 continues this way, and somehow makes Jinx seem like the closest daughter to Vander. Flipping Warwick literally acts more attached to Jinx than Vander ever did to Powder. Like literally. Season 1 clearly sets up that Vi is the favorite daughter, and then they just... flip it?? Warwick cares more for Jinx and responds better to her than to Vi. It's actually insane. It's true they sanitized Jinx's character to hell and back this season, but this is a straight-up rewrite. I can't wrap my mind around why they did this. Plus, the entirety of act 2 they set up this weird and pointless arc of Jinx rekindling her relationship with Vander or something... and like literally her story was genuinely never about that.

(This COULD have been Vi's story. And that might have actually been cool, and made sense. Maybe Vi is the one who finds him, and she is the one who helps him calm down. And then she brings Jinx, and maybe Jinx is terrified because she was never that close to Vander, and then she literally killed him, so seeing him again is the last thing she wants. Maybe VI is the one who tells Jinx that "he was your dad, too", which would make A LOT more sense, and maybe that's the first time that Jinx thinks that oh, yeah, he was... And then maybe they have a cute moment where Vander forgives her. Or maybe she sees the state he's in right now and loses it completely. Or maybe they look at each other and they both see the monster each of them has become. And then maybe Vi looks down at the enforcer uniform she's wearing, and, privately, sees it too. Idk. The things we could have had.)

Silco was actually a good dad to Jinx, in all the ways that Vander wasn't. He gives her all the attention that she never had before. He not only listens to her, but actively asks for her side of the story. He never insults her, and he defends her against Sevika. He trusts her and gives her opportunities to prove she's capable. She goes from being one of four siblings, and getting lost in the shuffle and often ending up feeling forgotten and alone, to being the most important child, always taken into consideration and almost put on a pedestal by her dad (this, like, has to have cured some inner wounds, i think).

Silco understands Jinx better than any other character in the show, and I'm genuinely sad that we didn't get to see any flashback of Jinx growing up with him. Because their relationship was so unique, and so integral to Jinx's character and to the rest of the story, that the fact that we never get to see any other glimpse into their bond is just...

As a final note, I'd also like to add that I dislike when people say that Silco "groomed" Jinx. I think a much more realistic analysis is that he enabled her. And as for all the times he tells Jinx that Vi "betrayed her", that's just a reflection of his own trauma, and also because he fears that if Jinx knew Vi was alive, she would go back to her and leave him (which, considering what goes down in the s1 finale, not an unfounded fear). It's wrong that he does that, but it's not out of malicious intent (also tbh Jinx never really seems to believe him anyway).

And for all the people who say that Silco "turned Jinx into a terrorist" (dumbest people in this fandom fr, im sorry), that's just straight up not true. Powder was already like that. That is quite literally why Silco adopts her. Because he sees that she's like him. Silco would not have taken Powder in if he thought she was just a cute, innocent kid who was orphaned (to, what, raise her for years so that, MAYBE when she's older, she MIGHT be useful to him? when they meet he doesn't know she's the one that caused the explosion, he just knows that she's been abandoned by Vi). This is the kid who thought playing around with explosives was a fun hobby. This is the kid who giggled at the thought of hurting others. This is the kid who already suffered from explosive emotions. This is the kid who saw her father and her brothers dead, because of her, and all she cared about was whether her sister was mad at her because of it. This is the kid who throws herself at the first person she sees, someone who her sister hates, who is the cause of all this destruction, and with an anger that shocks most viewers, declares that Vi is not her sister anymore. She is livid in that one moment.

Powder already had it in her from the beginning. And it's also ok to like a character (and to write one) even if they are not 100% morally pure in every single way under the sun, cause that is quite literally what stories are for.

#sorry for kidnapping this post and running with it #your post had the misfortune of showing up on my fyp at my peak lonely hours of the night #arcane critical #jinx #vi #vi and jinx #vander #arcane #arcane s2 #fic ideas

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marinettesaltprompts · 2 days ago

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Miraculous x DC Saltfic Prompt part 2 (:

Prompt by @kawaiichibiart

A quick just so you know, I did look up the legality of removing a child from their parents care in France, not sure if I covered it correctly, but yeah (:

As a reminder, this takes place at the exact same time as my last MLBxDC prompt.

Let's get into it!! >:D

To give some context for anyone reading this first: the Akuma class wins a trip to Gotham instead of New York. What the class isn't aware of is that Adrien is moving to Gotham in order to live with his new mother, Selina Kyle.

Back to the story, as I said, this takes place at the same time as the other MLBxDC prompt.

And it starts with Amelie meeting with an old friend, Selina Kyle.

Now, both these women have their strenghts. They know what they want and how to get it. Most wouldn't think of them as friends, but they are, it's true. And because they're friends, they will sometimes ask each other for favors, big or small.

When Selina visited, Amelie asked for her help regarding Adrien. She couldn't tell why, but she just had a feeling Gabriel was up to something. When her husband passed, Gabriel didn't let Adrien attend the funeral. When she and Felix visited, the Agreste Mansion felt cold.

Cold in a way that denied a child the care he needed. Cold in the sense that, despite the beautiful weather outside, being inside felt like the dead of winter.

And she didn't like it.

She didn't like how it felt. What her mind drew up. The image of her sister's child, alone, in a large, cold, building. The boy who had her son's reflection, starved for affection.

She needed to find a way to get him out. To get something on Gabriel. There had to be something. But he keeps pushing her away. Try as she might, she can only do so much.

This is where Selina comes in. As a favor, she agrees to help Amelie, starting, not with Gabriel, but with his employees.

Employees who knew Adrien more than Gabriel did.

Employees who also wanted Adrien out of Gabriel's grasp.

Employees who paid attention to things. To the days Adrien was pulled out of school, to the way he dreaded having to model with Lila Rossi from the start, to the way he just looked so, so tired.

It's easy to convince some of them to spill things. To say what they saw.

Were they worried about their jobs? Well, sure, but some of them were planning on leaving themselves, either to work for someone else or to work by themselves. So, why not admit things to this woman?? She's here to help Adrien.

After that, she decides to see if the local heroes will say anything, meaning Cat Woman was about to make an appearance.

---------

Now, remember when I said Selina and Amelie know how to get what they want? Well, apparently being an utter annoyance works. Because Gabriel, begrudgingly and relunctantly, let Adrien stay with Amelie for a while (a while being like, 1-2 weeks). While she'd rather it be longer, she accepted the time she got. And rather than have Adrien come to her, she went to Adrien. She still needs answers, and she hopes Adrien will give them to her.

Amelie and Adrien end up staying at Le Grand Paris, where Amelie will later end up introducing Adrien to Selina, and it's where she admits the real reason to her visit.

Legally, as his other guardian, she can petition the court to have Adrien removed from Gabriel's care. But she can't do that without evidence. As much as she'd love to just take Adrien away, this was as close as she could get. And in order to do this, in order to give Adrien the proper home and care he deserves, she needs him to be honest with her. To tell her the truth. To give her the word that she was right to do this, that her intuition was correct.

And it takes a while, but eventually Adrien opens up as well. Admitting his own fears and the trapped feeling he had. The way that sometimes, sometimes it felt like he couldn't disobey. Literally couldn't. Like his mind and body would freeze before he did as he was told, even if he didn't want to. He told her about Gabriel's inspiration book, being pulled out of school for simply losing it. He told her about way Lila Rossi barged into his room, into his life, and how it was hard to breathe at times whenever she was around. He tells her about a "friend" who wouldn't listen to him, who's grown distant, and he can't help but feel like he did something wrong. He's backed off, respected what they wanted, apologizes if he flirts a bit too much or does something that might make them uncomfortable, but why is he the one doing all the work? Just to be met by the same response just about every single time??

He just wants to be a normal boy. Or, well, as normal as he can be. But everywhere he went, if his face wasn't plastered next to him on a bigger scale, then someone would recognize him and point him out, leading to more people coming over. And more people meant more photos and autographs, and less time for what he wanted.

He's tired.

He just wants it to stop, but it won't, and just about everyone he's met thinks his life is so... perfect. That he actually enjoys it. That the attention, and fame, and not going to school or being pulled out for a shoot was all amazing, but it isn't!!!

It's not amazing, it's not fun, it's not...what it used to be.

It was fun. It was amazing. He did enjoy it. But...

It doesn't matter. Not anymore.

And while Adrien has his doubts about the petition, Amelie sees this as a reason to double down. To not only continue but to win. Time limit be damned.

She had about 2 weeks at best, 1 at worst, but she'll manage.

---------

With Adrien in their corner, it was time for Selina to talk to the local heroes.

Or, hero, rather.

And wow, does she wish her fellow feline had been the one to show up.

Ladybug...

Ladybug was a bag of mixed messages.

Cat Woman didn't know where she stood.

She admits Gabriel is a bad father, but Adrien shouldn't go into his aunt's custody because he has a life in Paris??

She admits Adrien would be better off in someone else's care, but not the Graham de Vanily's because they'd be just as bad as Gabriel??

It's like she just wants him to stay. She gets defensive over her reasonings, her face going red when she does.

It feels so obvious to Cat Woman that Ladybug has a crush on Adrien, so her wanting him to stay seems more likely to do with her own wants and desires, rather than Adrien's.

Seeing this as getting them nowhere, the Gothamite leaves. Hopefully she'll run into Chat Noir later.

---------

As the days go by and more and more evidence is collected, the two women decide it's to hit Gabriel (metaphorically, although literally is also okay, maybe later tho). They gather everything they can, hire the best lawyers money can buy, and take Gabriel to court.

Now, he has a decision here.

Either he agrees with their terms once they win, quiet Gabriel, they're going to win, and everything will remain relatively hush hush. Out of the publics eye for as long as they can keep it.

Or!!

He fights them on this and they make everything public from the getgo. News reporters numbers are ready to be dialed, to both publish the stories they've been hired to write concerning what his own employees, including Adrien, had to say, and to come to the trial to cover it live.

Amelie is here to win.

She has a lot of people in her corner. People who are against Gabriel Agreste. People who aren't blind to a man's neglect.

She knows that as much as he'd rather keep this private, Adrien will let this go public. If it gets him out of that mansion, away from Gabriel and out of his job, he will let it go public.

And while a small part of her wished Gabriel decided to go public with it, a larger part of her felt relieved they were going private.

If for no other reason than Adrien's sake.

---------

It wasn't easy. Far from it.

Gabriel fought against every bit of evidence. Every testimonial. Claiming his employees who spoke against him were just bitter and resentful. That they simply didn't like him.

Day after day went by.

Every day felt repetitive but worth it in the end.

It was worth the sleepless nights where she had to reassure Adrien that this would work out. That even if it didn't this time, it won't stop her from trying again.

It was worth facing the man her sister "loved" and watch as his defenses crumbled. As his excuses became just that, excuses. How it became clear that he was negligent, absent, and unfit to be a father. How he was emotionally manipulative, holding things his son held dear above him, ready to punish him by taking them away, threatening him by taking away the small amount of normalcy he had and limiting the little contact he had with his friends. How little he cared, pushing and pushing his son into this mold of perfection that wasn't achievable.

It was worth the look on Gabriel's face when he lost. When the jury and the judge ruled in her favor. The look of resent and badly hidden hatred. One that said he hadn't lost the war, just this battle.

But whatever, he didn't matter.

Not anymore.

Amelie had a new son to take home.

---------

Introducing Selina and Adrien to each other went better than expected.

Amelie was glad her friend was able to talk with Adrien without either of them needing her to be there. And she was glad Adrien seemed willing to actually talk considering what had just happened. He'd spent most of the past few days talking with Felix over the phone and thinking about how to tell his friends about things without risking things. He still wanted some privacy and talking about going into his aunt's custody wasn't exactly something he wanted just anyone to know yet. Eventually, sure. But not right now.

Selina was so good to Adrien. Answering his questions and telling him about Gotham.

It was nice to see the two get along. She never knew Adrien's more mischievous side hadn't truly died out. There was this bond between the two that started soon after she introduced the two. Looks that were shared, Selina somehow knowing when Adrien needed a break.

It almost felt like...seeing Emilie and Adrien again.

Maybe...maybe Selina would be willing to do one last thing for her before she leaves. Something Adrien would have to be around for because it was just as much his decision as it was hers. It might not be something they immediately agree to, but she's sure that at the very least they'll consider it.

She loves Adrien and wants him to have a good life.

And maybe, maybe that means staying with the woman he's grown close to so quickly.

But that can wait for a bit. For now, she has a train to catch and a son waiting for her and his cousin turned brother at home.

---------

And that's a wrap for this prompt.

Some bonus info I wanted to add but couldn't (it just didn't really flow in the prompt as well, but can be added to the full story):

• I wanted to have more go on in terms of Selina gathering evidence, like actually having some dialogue bits where she's talking with someone. Bonus if that person was either the Gorilla or Natilie, who both definitely went against Gabriel.

• Adrien and Selina's bond is referring to them meeting for the second time as Chat Noir and Cat Woman. It's easy for Adrien to open up to her and decide to reveal who he is when she tells him she helped with the case. It was a spur of the moment decision, but he doesn't care. And since he revealed himself, Selina saw no reason to keep her own identity a secret.

• While they were short on time for the case, Adrien does end up in Amelie's care for almost a month (2 weeks in Paris and almost 2 weeks in London). She's technically still his guardian, Selina being his mom is something they finalize roughly by the time his class trip to Gotham is announced.

• Not gonna lie, if you can fit in Amelie and/or Selina hitting Gabriel somewhere, be my guest.

• Ladybug definitely wanted Adrien to stay purely because she has a crush on him. While she does admit to Gabriel's faults, she also wants Adrien to stay in Paris. This ultimately makes her kinda untrustworthy in Cat Woman's eyes.

• Some of the evidence held against Gabriel was absolutely blackmail. While nothing about him having a miraculous is revealed, the fact he was spying on his son was.

• The battle being won but not the war is referring to Gabriel being certain that Adrien will be back in his care once he makes his wish. It's why he agreed to being taken to court. Yes, he's upset he lost, but ultimately he's sure Amelie's small victory won't matter because his wish will change things in his favor.

• Some of the money used to hire lawyers was from Bruce Wayne, who had vague knowledge of what was going on since Selina told him. He trusted that she was doing the right thing but still kept an eye and ear open. He wasn't going to be mad that Selina tricked him if she did, just annoyed because it would the second time this week this happened and he had no desire for the "I told you so" he'd get from his kids and Alfred.

• This has nothing to do with this prompt but my last one: Adrien keeps his miraculous, as decided by two (2) people. I am, however, open to him changing his costume and name later on. I, personally, tend to go with Matagot, but I want to keep this open.

#Marinette salt #Marinette Salt Prompt #submission #crossover salt prompt #adribat #maribat salt

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tamayula-hl · 2 days ago

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TAMA IT'S YOUR DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE WE WANT TO SEE!! It's no matter if cultural values are different - because the story you want to write is filtered through YOUR lens, the characters are interpreted through your lens only, a.k.a. you set the philosophical/cultural context of your story regardless of the original context your source material is based on. If you use your SebxOC dynamic (you have already explained her background in your OC posts), the dual cultural values will actually factor in your story in an extremely fitting manner.

I would really, really like to see things your way, or even how you interpet a foreign value system in your story. This is one of the reasons I think you don't need to be writing in English! I know it is discouraging to know people are losing the nuances of your work by putting it through a translator, because there are subtleties to every language which cannot be caught when translated ('male' and 'female' speech, choosing a level of distance/formality, relation of the individual self to the mass public etc.), but please know we will try to catch on as well as we can! Don't dilute your work for us, even if you feel the need to - it's the reader's job to interpret the text, not the author's to explain it!

I'm excited to read everything you write - writing is never useless in a fandom. You never know if what you write is exactly what someone wants to read!! GO TAMA!!

Aww, I'm really grateful and happy to receive such strong words of encouragement. Thank you so much🙇‍ I want to write a novel about the charm of the Wizarding World and HL characters seen through the perspective and values of Sakurako, a typical Japanese person, and the dynamics of how a woman with Japanese values interacts with Sebastian, and as you say, I think that if I were to write a novel in this fandom, I would have to use these differences in values as a weapon.

And it was really encouraging to hear you say that I can just submit the novel in Japanese. However, if I take the time to write and post a novel, I want as many people as possible to read it, and considering that almost no one has read the Japanese novels I have posted in the past, I think I may need to translate the novel into English for my own sake 🥹

And because sentences that maintain the style of a Japanese novel will end up in English that are quite strange and incomprehensible even if I use DeepL or ChatGPT (mainly sentences that are considered more beautiful when omitting the subject, which is unique to Japanese, are a huge hurdle when translating into English), I think I will write Japanese sentences that are easy for machines to read, such as ChatGPT, and that clearly state the subject (and that are very strange and unrefined from a Japanese speaker's perspective).

Sentences that are refined as Japanese while retaining the unique nuances of a Japanese novel and sentences that are easy to translate into machine translation are completely different, and it is a very difficult choice to decide which one to discard. Should I post both the original Japanese version and the English translation? 🤣 Anyway, this language barrier is really bothering and bothering me.

If I had English skills, this problem would be almost solved, but I regret and feel ashamed that I didn't study English as hard as I could for the past two years. First of all, I'm going to start by writing out the lines that appear in HL's main quest line and Seb's quest line in English, reading their meanings, and memorizing them. 🥹 I have to continue studying art, and this is the beginning of days where I will have to cut down on my eating and sleeping time even more. 💪

#answers

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 days ago

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I didn't find Sam's "agency" comments that bad, tbh? Unless there's something I'm missing (totally possible)? I didn't feel like he was suggesting Lestat was fully in control during the trial, or had the power to prevent it or anything. He stated elsewhere that Lestat doesn't want to be there and is hating every minute of it. He also heavily suggested that Lestat did not have the ability to save both Louis and Claudia, and for me, I feel like that's where his modicum of 'agency' came in - he couldn't stop what was happening but he had a few choices, and was able to exert his will to some extent (i.e. defying the coven by going off-script, influencing the audience, and somewhat altering the intended outcome of the play) whereas if he'd had zero agency throughout then he would've stayed on-script the whole time and both Claudia and Louis would be dead.

Am I missing the point, or did you interpret his comments differently? I think a major issue with some of these interviews is that the cast are so afraid of spoiling that they can't fully explain their statements or put them into context (a lot of the s2 interviews were pretty misleading in hindsight!)

The point with the agency... is that Lestat did not have that, often, canonically. A lot of his actions in the books are a wild try at regaining his agency, because throughout his story there are recurring patterns of his agency being taken away. His family, Magnus, Armand, Akasha, even Amel to an extent.

It's not that what they do there does not fit with the story the show tells.

It's the repercussions for later.

Lestat knowing about the attempted murder changed murder night and his very reactions to it, both before and after.

Lestat being able to make a decision changes the trial, and makes him choose.

Lestat giving Louis to Armand... (whichever way that will turn out eventually) shifts the impact quite significantly.

The Lestat in the books had no agency in any of these three events, and these are just... some examples. They were things that happened to him, and he had then to deal with that.

Again, the show chose to add agency there, which is not necessarily a bad thing - but it changes arcs. Arcs which they want to do still. Arcs which rely, to a significant extent imho, on the fact that Lestat is fighting for his agency. Is fighting for a way to deal.

Now, and Sam has also brushed that topic, some of his actions will come from a place of shame... because of his actions.

And that... is just not the same.

I mean, Sam said it plainly: this isn't Anne's Lestat.

But it's the Lestat we're getting.

And it is Sam's, which is a huge plus.

And tbh I am investing quite a lot of my time in consolidating the versions (not just of him, but also of Louis and Armand, who have had similar changes to their characters) in my fics, which is why those are always tagged into both, show and book canon :))

#Anonymous #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire #agency #lestat de lioncourt

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that-ari-blogger · 1 day ago

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Complex Motivations (You Didn't Know)

Hazbin Hotel is about redemption, and a large part of that is the complexity of motivation. Sinners have unique reasons for what got them into hell, and that intricacy is explored in great detail with the main cast, but also everyone around them.

This is actually a mercy extended to the villains. Because contrary to popular belief, having a reason for doing what your doing doesn’t make you right. The Vees, for example, are characterised entirely by their dynamic with each other, and understanding their motivation means understanding just how cruel of a person Valentino is, for example. It doesn’t justify his actions, it explains them, and makes him a more complex character than “he does bad things because he is bad”, a mentality that the show criticises at every opportunity it gets.

Speaking of which, that reductive worldview is exemplified by the folks up in heaven. Specifically, by Lute, Adam, and Sera, and You Didn’t Know exists to show them on a sliding scale of villainy, and how their place on it doesn’t matter.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Hazbin Hotel)

CONTENT WARNING: (Language)

“But she was right”

The first words in any story give context to what is to come. They set up the plot, provide a question or mystery, and establish pacing. Songs in musicals are parts of the story told in microcosm, and so they apply these rules. In this case, it is important to understand that each of these people has been proven wrong.

Their worldview is measurably false, and the question is, what do they do now?

This isn’t a presentation of ideas, this isn’t a philosophical debate, this is an exploration of character in the face of challenge, and how it exposes a person's true motivation.

Starting with Lute, because she is, in my eyes, the simplest. She believes everything that she is saying with no one hundred percent certainty, and it’s almost refreshing in contrast with everyone else.

Adam and Sera are both fickle in morality, but Lute is rock solid. She is bigoted and evil, and she is owning it. She is, for lack of a better term, a paragon.

Why are we having this conversation? Angel Dust is a sinner, therefore incapable of making any points. Any evidence presented is invalid because he’s the one presenting it.

“What are we even talking about?

Some crack whore who fucked up already?

He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth.

This discussion is senseless and petty!”

Redemption can’t be proven because redemption doesn’t exist.

It��s a flat, mindless understanding of the world that a lot of people carry, more than you think.

Dutch angle. These two make the scene unsafe. Standard filmmaking but worth pointing out.

This is called Doxastic Anxiety, according to the philosopher, Jenifer Foster. I recommend her dissertation, as well as the video by Philosophy Tube (@theabigailthorn), which discusses it in the context of deliberate ignorance, amongst other things.

Doxastic Anxiety is an aversion to forming new beliefs. In this case, Lute doesn’t want to believe that redemption is possible, so she, quite efficiently, doesn’t believe.

This isn’t an argument or a conversation, this is one side presenting evidence, and immediately getting shot down with “shut up, I’m right.” You can’t change the mind of someone who refuses to open it in the first place.

This is matched by the music itself. I’ve talked at length about Adam and Lute’s obsession with rock music and what I think about that, but there’s a gaping hole in Lute’s argument here.

The drums are doing something interesting, and I will come back to them later, but the guitar is remarkably restrained, which isn’t what you would associate with rock at all.

There's some colour symbolism here that I love. Traditionally, there is a correlation between good and evil, light and dark, white and black. Those three categories align and while there are implications there, it is storytelling standard. Except here, in this scene, the brightest part of the shot is the window into hell, and because of the shadows rendering lute in grayscale, the closest things in the scene to pure white are Angel Dust, and Charlie's hair. The filmmakers are messing with morality, so naturally, they can't resist a chance to mess with the imagery thereof. Also interesting here, the shadows are of the Angels own making because it is their architecture. They aren't just made to look bad by contrast, it's their own actions that lead to this symbolism.

Music is emotion, that’s why character playlists exist. Songs convey themes through vibes, and rock music is about big, unrestrained emotions. Rock music is fundamentally wild.

Consider Bullet With Butterfly Wings, by the Smashing Pumpkins. The song is about anger at an inability to claim freedom, and so the guitar evokes the pacing of a caged animal during the verses, then comes out swinging in the chorus only to, for lack of a better term, fumble it. The resolution at the end of each musical phrase is clumsy, like falling back to square one. The final chorus, notably, doesn’t do this, and is much more comfortable, evoking a feeling of catharsis that contrasts with the lyrics of the chorus.

Powerlessness. The character is trying to claim freedom and has transcended their anger, but it hasn’t worked. The finale is desperate, and the music thrashes against its bars, trying to break either them, or itself, all while repeatedly screaming the words:

“Despite all my rage,

I am still just a rat in a cage.”

“And I still believe that I cannot be saved.”

Maybe the bars are more than just physical. Maybe there is a psychological element to this kind of oppression.

Even Sweet Child O’ Mine, by Guns and Roses (they’re a small, up and coming band. But I think you should check them out. There’s promise there) which is calm and reminiscent for most of its runtime, is built on being dynamic. The iconic riff famously bounces between highs and lows to mimic the highs and lows of a life lived.

It’s messy in the way that memories are messy, and the solos are wild and meant to be experienced more than just listened to. They chomp at the bit during the lull at “where do we go now”, before climbing back into soaring expressions of glee and, for lack of a better term, raw power. It’s a very different emotion to Bullet With Butterfly Wings, and you don’t need the lyrics to understand that.

The point I am making is that rock music is intrinsically expressionistic and unchained, and when Lute sings, her portion of the song is anything but. Lute is angry, and appropriating imagery that is not hers to use to justify that anger. But what is the anger at? Being proven wrong.

Case and point, her guitar is simple and even. It rises, then stops, then repeats, then plays a nice little melody at the top, before resorting to power chords. She has tried to form a point, but has been unable to, and instead of examining that, has resorted to anger and displays of force.

There is something in that "stick it to the man" thing. People in power almost seem to fetishise rebellion, but when it actually happens, they get all upset. Adam likes to appear as the underdog, and I think he likes to feel like the underdog, but he isn't. He's the one the underdogs are fighting.

Moving on to Adam, who doesn’t believe anything he is saying. He is doing genocide for entertainment, and he doesn’t care about justifying it. There is nothing behind this man, he gets what he wants because he wants it. He is a man child.

He has also already had his views explained in detail, so this song gets to shine as a character beat for him, because of the aforementioned framing device. What do you do when you are proven wrong? Do you change? Do you shout down what the person is saying like Lute? Or do you get petty and start being an arse because you can?

This is where we see Adam’s vindictive side, and it sure is a coincidence that the guy who champions retributive justice has a habit of taking what he views as revenge and multiplying it tenfold. That’s probably not important.

Anyway, this is used to bring up Vaggie’s deceit, but it also exposes something interesting about Adam’s villainy. It’s innately self-sabotaging.

Adam could have kept his gob shut and this would have gone off without a hitch, but he didn’t. His villainy is based in retribution, and so he had to dish it out when he was slighted, even if it undermines his greater scheme.

Which, if I may get a bit soap boxy, is how villains work in the real world.

I get frustrated with the view that kindness is hard and that being awful is easy because it isn’t. Don’t let people tell you the world is naturally terrible, because if you believe them and expect the worst, then you don’t call people out on their nonsense. “Oh, the world is bad, it was the easiest choice to do this awful thing.” No! It took a choice to cause suffering, someone made that decision.

Evil is difficult and self sabotaging and will wreck you for doing it to the point where it stops being worth it. Truly evil people are those that make the decision to do what they are doing because they have weighed up the consequences and decided that they don’t care.

On a day-to-day level, kindness is easy. It costs you nothing. Don’t use the mundanity of misery as an excuse for your own shit behavior, and call people out on theirs because they are actively making the world worse, not prolonging the status quo.

But on a grander scale, this is where Adam comes in. I would argue that it would be easier for Adam to not do a genocide. Like, it would be easier to just sit at home, drink soft drink, be a tosspot. He wouldn’t be a nice guy, but it would be an improvement.

But to do what he is doing right now, he had to come up with the idea, something that probably took him a while. Then he had to persuade Lute and the other executioners, which probably took less time. Then he had to run it by Sera, and then he had to amass an army in secret and keep that same secret of genocide from an entire population.

But he did. He went above and beyond so that he could kill people for sport.

Adam actively made the world worse, and crucially, that directly led to his death later on in the series. He gave people motivation to want him dead.

I mentioned at the start of this post that the sliding scale of villainy doesn’t matter, and that brings me to Sera.

Sera isn’t evil. She doesn’t directly cause bad things. But that “directly” is doing a lot of heavy lifting, because Sera is an enabler. She doesn’t have a moral compass at all. She doesn’t stand for anything, so she lets everything happen.

She doesn’t do the genocide, she doesn’t want to be a part of it, and she thinks that makes her a saint. But then again, she had the power to stop it, and the choice to do nothing is still a choice.

General lump of ice for anyone who wants it. If you ever find yourself smiling like a maniac with literal hellfire reflected in your eyes, maybe reconsider your life a bit.

Sera could have said “no” and been done with it. But instead, she signed herself up for a lifetime of subterfuge because it seemed easier at the time. Theoretically, Sera isn’t as bad as the others, but in practicality, oh yes she is.

Sera’s lack of morality is actually what inspired me to analyse this entire musical, because her part in this song is so crucial to my understanding of the musical as a whole and I haven’t seen anybody else’s reading factor this in at all.

Sera doesn’t defend the genocide; she defends her decision to lie. Even when called out on it, it doesn’t occur to her that the murder of civilians is what people are upset about.

“I thought cause I’m older,

it’s my load to shoulder.”

“No”

“You have to listen,

it was such a hard decision

I wanted to save you

the anguish it takes to

Do what was required…”

There are two possible readings here, the first being deflection and the second being indifference.

Deflection is simple. She gets called out for murder and she apologises for lying. That’s not remotely the point, but if you can get someone tangled up in an argument that they didn’t sign up for, you can twist their words into something they didn’t mean.

Anger is a volatile emotion, but it can be lead astray. Deceit is not an easy thing to justify, but it’s a lot less difficult than systematic oppression, so Sera might be steering the conversation to something where she is on slightly less of a rough footing.

The other reading is indifference. Sera genuinely doesn’t care about morality, and so she is trying to keep her public face. She is the leader of… is Heaven a country? Is it a city? What is Heaven? Anyway, Sera is in a leadership position, and so she has made the decision to maintain her image first and foremost.

She spins the genocide as something that was required and starts defending the lie, because that’s what she thinks is most important. To her, the genocide was required, but to that I ask: for what?

Like, what is the end goal here?

Adam has presented the idea that the genocide makes him feel good. Lute is of the opinion that the sinners deserved it. But Sera says “required.” For what?

Is she required to let Adam do what he wants? Is she trying to find a middle ground between “no genocide” and “yes genocide” and landing on “some genocide”?

Alternatively, does Sera think it is required to keep the population of Hell down, so they don’t rise up? Does she think this is needed for her own security? Is it for control? Because, if that’s the case, I think she is talking bollocks.

You don’t need to murder someone to not feel threatened by them, and there are better ways of coexistence than control.

Sera returns to what I said earlier about villainy being difficult. She didn’t need to go along with the genocide. It wasn’t required. But she chose to, and that makes her stand alongside Adam and Lute.

Before I finish up, let’s talk about the drums.

The song is dense, and has a lot of moving parts, so as a storytelling technique, the drums are really impressive. Not only to they separate the sections and make the story easier to digest, adding to the vibes of each part while keeping the momentum going, but they also join the sections with fills to ease the transitions between disparate parts of the story.

The song starts out with no percussion as Emily pleads with the court and specifically with Sera. Then Charlie brings some backbone to the conversation with the concept of fairness, and we get a steady, repeated beat, like boxers circling each other.

We get a fill into the marching beat that backs up Lute’s solo, before a chorus from a rock song follows Adam’s input in the conversation. So far, so good.

Then Adam ruins everything, and the song abruptly cuts back to Emily, who suddenly has percussion accompanying her voice. Although, it is off kilter and unsteady, unsure if it should be here or not. It’s uneasy as Emily tries to work out what is happening and how to feel. Something is wrong, and her music is evolving to keep up.

Sera’s section messes with this in a way I love. Starting off mimicking Emily’s exactly with the unsteady beat as if to say “I’m with you.” Although it adds some bass drum, specifically the rhythm played during Adam and Lute’s chorus.

Then, as she says the line about doing what was required, Emily’s rhythm cuts out entirely to show the falseness of this offer. Sera and Adam are entirely aligned here.

Emily is back, and her rhythm is gaining more and more confidence as she gets more and more angry.

We’re building to a final chorus, and we get a quiet fill before a surprisingly understated chorus.

“Was talk of virtue just pretention?

Was I too naïve to expect you…”

“If Hell is forever than heaven must be a lie.”

The perfect world is built on suffering, which means it can’t be a perfect world. Everything else falls away, including the drums, into short punches that are just off beat enough to feel natural. This is just brutality. Messy, unrestrained, hammering. This is the point; this is the centerpiece of the musical.

Then the drums cut out entirely for the final moments to underscore the revelation, and the song wraps up.

Final Thoughts

I’m about to spoil the rest of the musical, so be warned.

I want Sera to be redeemed so much, and I actually think it might happen, here’s why.

First, I think it would be funny. I think Sir Pentious being in heaven would be an excuse to torment her into changing. Like, she gets so frustrated by the snake boy who’s voice she recognizes for some reason, and who proves her wrong so entirely, but whom she can’t escape from and whom she can’t bring herself to dislike.

Drag the angel, kicking and screaming, into being a better person. Commit to the theme, damn it.

But I do think there is a chance of this actually happening, and that is because of the expressions that Sera makes. When Emily snaps, the show makes a point of showing Sera’s response, and it is abject horror and sadness. There is no anger or spite there, it is just shock and terror.

A sinner couldn’t convince her, but she is willing to listen to Emily, and that is the expression of someone who’s entire world just came crashing down.

Maybe it’s the fear that Emily will fall like Lucifer, or maybe it’s the fear that she won’t. I cannot wait to find out.

Next week, however, is Out for Love, and I have thoughts about that song. So stick around if that interests you.

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charminglygrouped · 3 days ago

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Hi there! Love you stories and your take on Austen (as you know). Today though, I have a question about canon for you, if you wouldn't mind:

when Austen compares portraits she's seen to her P&P characters, she notes that she hasn't spotted anyone that resembled Lizzy; but that crucially mr Darcy wouldn't have allowed a portrait of his wife to be exhibited anyway. (Forgive me that I can't recollect the exact phrasing.)

This always seemed weirdly possessive or jealous to me, which — while Elizabeth had a say in anything — seemed both unlikely and to point to a strange relationship dynamic. But perhaps I'm missing something here. Can you make sense of it?

Cheers, Athena

Dear Athena (lately sprung from head of Jupiter);

I think the context of this remark is important. As you note, it's not as though Austen has determined that Darcy wouldn't allow his wife's portrait to be exhibited, merely as a result of her own reflections: at the time when she writes this, she has already tried to find Elizabeth's portrait and failed.

The letter in question was written to her sister Cassandra on Monday, May 24, 1813:

[...] Henry & I went to the exhibition in Spring Gardens. It is not thought a good collection, but I was very well pleased—particularly (pray tell Fanny) with a small portrait of Mrs. Bingley, excessively like her. I went in hopes of seeing one of her Sister, but there was no Mrs. Darcy;—perhaps however, I may find her in the Great Exhibition which we shall go to, if we have time;—I have no chance of her in the collection of Sir Joshua Reynolds’s Paintings which is now showing in Pall Mall, & which we are also to visit.—Mrs. Bingley’s is exactly herself, size, shaped face, features & sweetness; there never was a greater likeness. She is dressed in a white gown, with green ornaments, which convinces me of what I had always supposed, that green was a favourite colour with her.* I dare say Mrs. D. will be in Yellow. […] —Monday even—We have been both to the Exhibition & Sir J. Reynolds’,—and I am disappointed, for there was nothing like Mrs. D. at either.—I can only imagine that Mr. D. prizes any Picture of her too much to like it should be exposed to the public eye.—I can imagine he wd have that sort [of ommitted] feeling—that mixture of Love, Pride & Delicacy. Setting aside this disappointment, I had great amusement among the Pictures; & the Driving about, the Carriage been open, [sic] was very pleasant.

— Jane Austen's Letters, ed. Deirdre Le Faye. 3rd ed. Oxford: Oxford University Press (1997), pp. 212-3.

So she already knows that she has been unable to find Mrs. Darcy's portrait, and is trying to determine upon some reason why this should be so. She can imagine that Mr. Darcy would not like his wife's portrait to be in an exhibition of artworks, if pressed to come up with an explanation for its absence—that is, given the fact of the work's absence, that seems to be the most likely reason for it—but I think there's a distinction between saying this, and saying that she does imagine him not liking his wife's portrait to appear, apropos of nothing.

Even accepting that she does imagine this of Darcy, though, I don't think we should read this to mean that Austen is implying a difference between Bingley and Darcy in this regard. I imagine that, at the time that first paragraph was written, she wasn't thinking of the location of the painting in any literal sense—i.e., she didn't imagine the fact she had seen it at an exhibition implied the existence of a real-life Mr. Bingley, in-universe with her, who had lent the painting to the exhibition. She was just looking for any image that suited her idea of Mrs. Bingley, without reference to where it appeared. Later, however, when she has been unable to find Mrs. Darcy at either of the additional exhibitions she has gone to, she comes up with a post-hoc explanation for that fact by playfully switching to a literal lens, and bringing the physical locations and real-world provenance of the paintings into play.

Also accepting that Mr. Darcy did have such a mixture of "pride and delicacy"—I think we could only understand that feeling by placing it within its proper context. Patrick J. Noon (of the Yale Center for British Art) says that the titles of portraits are at this time "more often than not" changed when they are exhibited publicly, presumably so that artists could exhibit commissioned works while allowing the sitter to maintain anonymity (Rainbolt p. 41). So Darcy is far from the only person who would hesitate to have a painting shown in such a public way.

And these exhibitions were very public. The exhibition at which Austen found Jane Bennet's portrait was given by the Society of Painters in Oil and Water Colours (now called the Royal Watercolour Society), a prestigious society to which painters could only gain membership by being voted in by current members. The original goal of the Society (which was especially relevant around 1813, due to the war with France) was to demonstrate that watercolours could stand beside oils as a "prestigious public art" (Fenwick & Smith p. 1, emphasis mine); and that water-colours had national and nationalist importance, as they were "uniquely suited to the depiction of [England's] scenery and climate" (ibid.). This was a change from an 18th-century view of watercolours as suitable to quickly add some colour to a map or an etching or something, but not suitable to stand on their own as the medium for a painting.

(It seems completely bizarre to me that Fenwick & Smith don't mention this, but I imagine that the ideological work being done from the middle of 18th century onwards to take watercolours from private to public, from personal to national, from amateur to professional—was synonymous with the task of taking them from feminine to masculine. Serious, important, professional art is defined as art which men do. Women might paint watercolours of their friends as a refined accomplishment, but they were explicitly disallowed from being full members of the Society, and very few of them were ever 'associate' members.)

So these exhibitions have ideological, national, and political importance. An article on the Society in Ackermann's Microcosm of London is explicitly concerned with the development of English excellence in watercolours, and anxious that the improvements in English painting since the 1770s be recognised.

The Society's exhibitions are also significantly concerned with money. They were public, commercial enterprises, with fees being taken at the door, and some of the exhibited paintings available for sale. The male members of the Society would share the profits and debts thereof; the female 'associate' members shared any profits that were realised, but were not liable for debts.

The article in the Microcosm considers the history of English painting broadly, and the Society's exhibitions in particular, in this dual national and financial light: the excellence of English painting is held back by the fact that portrait-painting was, until the time of George III (1760), "almost exclusively patronised and rewarded," to the detriment of any other genre of painting:

the personal vanity of individuals, and the disposition of artists to make their works a source of profit rather than fame, [...] led them to cultivate a branch of their profession that returned their assiduities with emolument, instead of embodying upon their canvass the splendid achievements which confer immortality upon those who have performed, and almost equal honour upon those who record them in representations executed with taste, spirit, and expression. Whilst artists are content with that remuneration which portrait-painting affords, we shall in vain look for the sublime features of bold composition, or the imposing graces of chaste and decided elegance.

The founding of the Royal Academy (in 1768), then, was a good thing because it "a more extensive taste" for painting "was excited and encouraged" by the fact that artists could be paid for painting landscapes, classical scenes, &c., as well as for portraits of private individuals. The article continues to talk about money, how artists of the Society of Painters in Oil and Water Colours may have been attracted by the "possibility of deriving some profit from the exhibition of their work," and the fact that "exhibiting their works to greater advantage" would increase "the facility of sale by such arrangements as the first page of their catalogue announces."

The article also talks about how the paintings are laid out in the various rooms, and how audiences are likely to react to them based on their placement. Watercolours, and even more tasteful oil paintings, must suffer by comparison to oils that consist of "half an acre of canvass, covered with the strongest tints, enriched with the most gaudy colours, and glazed with a varnish calculated to heighten the already too powerful effect." I mention this because it shows that the exhibited paintings are being evaluated: if Elizabeth's portrait were exhibited, audiences and critics would decide whether it possessed "the imposing graces of chaste and decided elegance," and thus justified its existence and its exhibition; or whether it was "gaudy," or had been produced for no reason other than the personal vanity of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy. And then the critics would write up that review and publish it in Microcosm of London or Repository of the Arts or somewhere.

We have evidence that Austen is aware of this kind of evaluation in her letter itself: she acknowledges that the collection offered up for the censure or approbation of the public at the Spring Gardens "is not thought a good collection."

I think all of this context is important because it's not like she's saying that Darcy wouldn't allow the portrait out of his house or out of his sight or anything—just that he might not want it exhibited to the public to this degree. But also I think there's a danger of taking this sentence too seriously, lol. I don't think she's literally imagining a scenario where Elizabeth wants the portrait to be exhibited and Darcy forbids it. She's just trying to come up with an explanation for her own disappointment in a personal letter to her sister.

*See here for a summary of the quest to identify this painting.

Bibliography

"Exhibition of the Society of Painters in Water Colours," in The Microcosm of London: or, London in Miniature. Rudolph Ackermann, ed. Vol. 2. London: 1808. pp. 25-36.

Simon Fenwick and Greg Smith, The business of watercolour: a guide to the archives of the Royal Watercolour Society. Ashgate, 1997.

Martha Rainbolt, "The Likeness of Austen's Jane Bennet: Huet-Villiers' 'Portrait of Mrs. Q'." English Language Notes, Dec. 1988, 35-43.