#'i'm coming back to class next week. i know i missed 12 out of 16 classes but my computer broke. now i can do the work!'

[fiona-fififi]

...

[petitelepus]

A Loner's Unexpected Journey, Part 3

Kimetsu Academy!Genya Shinazugawa X Fem!Reader

Summary: You start saving for a new game by cutting your lunch and Genya isn't that excited about it, but he has an important question for you.

Warnings: None

A/N: Modern!AU, Kimetsu Academy, Female Reader, Genya Shinazugawa

PART 1 II PART 2 II PART 3 II PART 4 II PART 5 II PART 6 II PART 7 II PART 8 II PART 9 II PART 10 II PART 11 II PART 12 II PART 13 II PART 14 II PART 15 II PART 16 II PART 17 II PART 18

Days that passed turned into weeks and you and Genya kept eating lunch together at the old abandoned classroom that the school used as a storage room. As the two of you kept meeting, you both started to open up to each other more every day.

Soon enough, you found yourself looking forward to lunchtime and Genya's company every weekday. For such a huge and scary-looking guy, he was really sweet and shy around you. For some reason, it made you happy.

You started to notice the changes that were happening to you also. Genya's company was like a healing potion. You felt… Happier with him around? You were still cynical and hated every other human being, but he was different than others and you liked it.

As you were heading towards your school, you would stop by your usual convenience store on your way there. You would buy your usual lunch and enjoy it with Genya as your company yet again that day. Maybe you should do something different though. Maybe buy something sweet also to balance the meat on the rice?

Would Genya like some? Would it be too bold to offer him some? You frowned as you thought about it, not knowing what was appropriate between friends.

Yes, you would buy the two of you some chocolate! Yes, that would no doubt make Genya happy!

Or so you thought, but on your way, you passed a game store that you glanced quickly and that was when you saw something amazing on display.

A brand new active-time turn-based strategy RPG game where you can create all sorts of different demons and monsters with different strengths and weaknesses!

You almost drooled at the sight of the new game. You loved that game series, how did you miss their newest game release?

Ah, you noticed a small note by the poster of the game, saying that the game wouldn't come out except after a couple of days on Friday. Shit.

Dammit, you were disappointed but also excited. According to the poster, tons of old and new demon classes would return or come. That was a good enough reason to wait, but then you noticed the price tag and your heart dropped.

It was expensive as fuck, but damn, you wanted that game.

That in your mind, you headed to the store to get your lunch.

The morning passed pretty quickly as you imagined what kind of adventure awaited you in the game. You also drew little doodles on your notebook as you took notes during classes to kill time.

Soon the long wait for lunch came and you rushed out of the class and towards your usual meeting spot. As you expected, Genya was already there waiting for you.

"Hi there," The young man greeted you as you stepped into the room where you always ate.

"Hi ya," You greeted him back as you sat next to him.

"Genya, I have to tell you something amazing!" You said excitedly as you grabbed your lunch, but before you could say anything, Genya raised his brow in confusion at your lunch.

"Is that all you got to eat?" The man asked as he looked at the melon bread you had bought from the convenience store.

"Yeah, it was the cheapest thing they got that I actually like." You said as you opened the bag and took a bite of the bread.

"Why? Don't you have money?" Genya sounded worried. It made you feel a little happy that he worried about you. You swallowed and smiled as you shook your head, "No, I'm just saving money for this new game that comes out this Friday."

"A game?"

"Yeah, a video game." You said, but he still looked unsure. You frowned, "Wait, Don't you have any games?"

He shook his head and you frowned, "Have you played any video games, like, ever?"

"No." He shook his head, his wild hair moving with his head, "Me and big brother were pretty poor when growing up so we never had any games."

"Oh…" Oh no, now you felt so bad. How could someone live without video games? That was just brutal! You were about to ask, but then you understood what a jackass you were being.

"Would you…" You looked at him from under your eyelashes, "Would you like to play some?"

"Nah," He shook his head, "I doubt I would be any good at them…"

"It's easy!" You grinned a little, "I can teach you if you'd like?"

"But…" Genya frowned, "I don't have any consoles or whatever you need to play the games?"

"I can always borrow you one?" You said as you grinned, "What do you say Genya? Would you like to experience an adventure unlike anything else?"

The way you asked was so innocent and genuine, it made the tough man blush as he looked aside, not daring to look at you, "L- let's see…"

You smiled as you nodded and you were about to take another bite of your bread when you noticed movement from the corner of your eye. You turned to look and saw that Genya was holding a piece of meat picked from his lunch box in front of your face.

"You gotta eat something else than just bread!" He said but he still couldn't dare to look at you. You blinked and you felt confused as you felt your chest tighten at his sweet gesture.

You thanked him as you accepted the piece of meat and you smiled. For some reason, the meat never tasted better.

The week passed and each day you and Genya would meet during lunch, he would offer you some meat and rice from his lunch and you would explain the earlier games' lore while munching on your melon bread.

The long-awaited Friday came, the game's official release day, and after school, you rushed to the game store to buy the game and you even managed to get your hands on the Deluxe Edition!

That weekend you barely left your apartment, completely focusing on your new game while still taking pauses to play with Lady the Fair kitten.

Before you knew it, it was Monday and you had been playing your game the whole weekend and you were honestly so excited about it. You decided to take the game to the school with you so you could show your different characters to your best friend Genya.

"Genya!" You cried out as you ran into the room you usually ate in and you startled the young man so badly he nearly dropped his lunch box.

"W-what was that?!" He exclaimed and you grinned as you put your bag down and took out the console you had brought with you.

"Look look!" You said excitedly as you started the game and showed him the characters you had. The young man frowned a little as he leaned over your shoulder to see what you were doing.

"Is this the game you told me about?"

"Uh hu," You nodded, your eyes glued on the console's screen as you went through your different characters. He frowned, "I don't get it."

"This is a turn-based game Genya! It's like chess but with demons and monsters of different classes and abilities!" You explained, but he still didn't quite seem to understand…

"Look!" You showed the demon wearing a blue cowboy hat to Genya, who squinted his eyes at the creature on your console, "What's that?"

"He is a demon class called Gunner! I made one and named him after you!" You said and Genya looked at you in wonder. Carefully, he asked, "You named something after me?"

"Yes!" You exclaimed excitedly as you showed the character you had created to your friend. "He is my best gun user and long-range attacker!"

Genya nodded as he listened in awe at how you explained the tactics to him, but then you took your lunch out and he squinted his eyes at you, "What is that?"

"Huh?" You blinked as you looked down at your melon bread, "My lunch?"

"Didn't you save money by eating melon bread last week?!"

"Yeah, but it wasn't quite enough so I'm still eating the bread," You replied before quickly adding, "But it's only this week! Then I'm back to our usual lunch!"

"That's barely enough!" Genya snapped but you chuckled, "What, I'm fine! God knows I could lose some weight also-!"

"No, you don't!" He snapped before averting his gaze, his face crimson red, "Y- you're perfect as you are…"

"Ah," You felt your cheeks burn after hearing him say that. You quickly averted your gaze and laughed awkwardly, "Ha ha, you jokester! You're just saying that…!"

"I- I meant it…!" He grumbled stubbornly as he tried his hardest to look at you, "In fact, I've been wanting to say something to you…!"

"What is it?"

"You have changed… You're more open-minded and happy and it makes me wonder if it's because of us…"

"Ah…" You blinked as your cheeks tingled. You thought about it and the more you did that the more you would connect Genya to the feeling of actual happiness.

"I…" You blushed as you averted your gaze from him, suddenly too shy to actually look at him now that you felt like he had realized something even you didn't know.

Genya grunted as he collected his courage to look at you properly, "So I want to ask you something…"

"W- what is it?"

"W- would you…?" He swallowed before exclaiming, "Would you go out with me!"

You blinked as you felt the world around you slow down… And the panic settled in.

"I, ah…" You frowned as you felt rippling fear crawl over your back and squeeze your heart.

"I don't really do dating…" You mumbled quietly as you felt your heart close up again in fear… But he didn't give up.

"One date!" Genya begged, "Please give me one date! Give me a chance to show you how I feel and if you don't like it then we can just be friends!"

You were so afraid, but what of? That you couldn't be friends anymore if things didn't work out? That he would end up being a jerk? That you would be the horrible one here?

…Or that you would like him back the same way he liked you?

"…One date." You finally managed to whisper, and it was like time froze around you, only thing that was moving was the smile on Genya's face.

"One date." He repeated as he nodded, "Thank you."

[niskoo]

Burrito run

pairing: rich kid! Jake x rich kid! reader

genre: fluff, crack, bff2l! AU

warnings: food, swearing, sneaking out (??)

word count: 3k words

a/n: my dumbass posted this on my nct acc omfg

this was originally for haechan of nct for my nct acc (@daegall) but i thought i could treat you guys to hehe

networks: @enhypennetwork

You had known Jake for more than half of your lives. Thanks to both of your rich ass parents setting you two up for a playdate at the age of 12, now you have found your rock and partner in crime. You know when he's feeling down, when he wants to cause trouble for no reason, when he has an eye for someone, heck, you know when and how to get him out of any situation when needed.

Like right now, as he gives you a side glance as he talks boringly to a group of men. All they talked about was business. Jake wanted to talk about that one burrito place down the block, he wants to get out of there and go get some. He wants to get out of this stupid high class party he has no part of.

He knows you do too, he knows by the way you keep glancing at the back door by the kitchen, and how you occasionally move to each group closer to the door. You know he catches up to the plan, how he also moves from group to group, excusing himself every 2 minutes.

You politely excuse yourself from the many unknown rich aunts who just questioned your love life, giving them a very passive smile, before turning to move to another group.

You don't get to go to another group, because you're already so close to the door, and Jake approaches you.

"Why, hello there, miss Y/n."

You feign shock at his greeting, holding a hand to your chest, "My, Jaeyun, wasn't it? It's been too long!"

Your best friend nods, playing along to the small skit you two have created, "About 2 hours, I think? You've grown very beautifully,"

You flick your hand at him, nudging his shoulder not-so-gently, "Oh stop."

You bite your lip to hold back a loud laugh when Jake winces at your harsh push at his shoulder, watching as his face twists in playful anger. You can't help but thin he looks absolutely adorable, nose scrunched up and eyes narrowed in a non meaningful glare, you ought to kiss his puffed cheeks.

You shake the last thought from your mind, bringing the elegant glass of champagne to your lips, sipping lightly at the sweet and slightly sour liquid. You then take a double check around the spacious room, to see if anyone is watching.

Your mother and father were chatting at the far corner with the parents of Jay, a guy you met earlier this evening. He looked just as bored as you. Jake's parents stood not too far from your parents, greeting anyone who approached them.

This was your chance.

Quickly, as Jake was mumbling something about you growing up strongly as well, you grab his arm. He yelps in surprise, as you drag him through the back door, lightly blushing at your gentle touch at his wrist.

The back door soon slams behind the both of you, and you are met with a large yard.

"Y/n! What if someone caught us?"

Giving Jake a side glare, you start to trudge down the flight of stairs to the garden, "You were too busy complaining about my guns to notice we had a chance to escape. You're welcome."

"You're weak!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

You ignore the upcoming argument you could've started, taking off your painful heels. They were absolutely stunning, but stung your feet constantly. Beauty is pain, as mother says.

"Lead the way to the burrito truck you claimed to see on the way here!"

Through the many bushes, and many guards, and even more bushes, you finally make it out the the big mansion, and into the dark streets. It's 10 in the night, you hope the burrito place is still open or your only choice left is a McDonalds about an hour away or convenience store food. Not that you minded, but you haven't had a burrito since you were 18. You had it right after graduation day with one of your closes friends who you have no idea of her whereabouts now.

The last time Jake had a burrito is about last week, the first time he met another rich kid named Sunghoon. Their parents gave them a bunch of money to go spend on expensive and top quality foods, but they both mutually agreed to get cheap burritos that would probably give them a bad stomach.

Jake takes the lead, as expected, for he was the one who spotted the food truck. He took off his blazer some time ago, you don't remember when, but with his jacket thrown over his elbow and sleeves rolled up like that, you can't help but admire.

You notice every single little thing about him, his slow, rhythmic paces, occasionally kicking stray rocks on the sidewalk. You watch as his hair slightly bounces as he kicks yet another rock, and you want to pet his hair.

There was that one time when you were 16 and you had a movie night as your parents went away for some business, he had his head on your lap, you didn't mind for some reason. At some point you had started playing lightly with a few strands of his hair, but you didn't notice. The moment you softly ran your hands through his hair, you realized, and decided to keep your hands to yourself after that. To your surprise he protested against it, claiming it was very comforting. So now every time one of you come over to the other's house, you would somehow find yourself playing with his hair, like pure human instinct.

But now as you observed your best friend more, you have a different feeling running through you as you had an urge to softly play with them once more, as if it wasn't as platonic anymore. But that was absurd. you've been friends for 10 years now, why are you just feeling like this now?

Your heart jumps in your chest when you are suddenly met with Jake's eyes, shining brightly with a slight mischievous gloss glazing over them. "Can we pick up the pace please? I'm getting pretty hungry and I know you are too."

Your heart softens as he sticks his arm out, gesturing you to come next to him. You jog barefoot to his side, instantly looping your arm with his.

It doesn't take long to find the food truck Jake mentioned, just a 10 minutes from the mansion, somewhere near the center of town. You had to drive about 2 hours to get here, and so did Jake, so it's a bit strange how he knew his way around the town so easily. You guess he just is that way.

You practically drool at the smell of savory foods that lingers in the air, sucking the saliva in your mouth.

Your best friend eyes you playfully, nudging your hip with his, "See? What did I tell you? Burrito food truck!"

You don't respond, simply grunting and dragging him to the cashier to order some food.

It takes a lot of time to decide on what burrito you'd buy, there were even tacos, and weirdly, cookies and croissants. It was your dream food truck, really. In the end, you both went for the classic burrito, nothing could beat it.

There were no seats to the food truck, sadly, so you and Jake opted to sit on the curb, legs sprawled out on the road, hopefully no cars drive by.

"You ready?" Your best friend asks you, looking at you with much anticipation. You stare at your own burrito in much more anticipation, it's been 4 years since you had a burrito. You wonder how you could survive that long.

You nod vivaciously, already opening your mouth to take a bite. Jake chuckles as he watches you take your first bite, your cheeks instantly puffing out full of the contents. You shut your eyes in bliss, licking your lips for anything left on them.

As you continue to chew, you shake your head, "Shit, I haven't had anything this good in sooo long." You exaggerate, taking yet another bite of the heavenly treat.

Jake can't agree more, he just had a burrito last week, but somehow eating one with you feels different. Especially when you don't mind him seeing and pointing out the smeared food around your mouth, simply trying to search for it with your tongue instead.

Your best friend wants to cherish this moment forever, keep it deep in his heart and laugh at it in the future when he suddenly gets reminded of it, he wants to brag about it to his friends, maybe even share it with his grandchildren, he doesn't know. All he knows is that you're it for him.

You're the one he's spent all of his teenage years with, his first heartbreak, first sleepover, first drink was with you, heck, you were his first close friend!

You know so much about him, you share so much about yourself to him, he's the one you trust. He's the first person you call out to when you're down, first person you call out to in the best of your times. It amazing how much you've been through together, and Jake thinks anything is possible, as long as it's you.

Falling in love seems so much easier than ever, especially at that moment, eating a burrito instead of the expensive caviar at the party before, just with him. And nobody else.

He wants to make you his. Not just his best friend, his lover, his soul mate, his whole world. Not that you weren't already.

"What's wrong?" you suddenly ask Jake, startling him. "You nudge your chin at the burrito in his hands, "Why aren't you eating?"

Jake flushes, realizing he's been staring at you the whole time, taking a big bite of his burrito, before looking away bashfully. "It's nothing."

You grow suspicious of his actions, watching as he swallows and bites his lip shyly. You choose to leave it there, instead bringing up your parents being out of town next week.

The conversation keeps going, from one topic to the other, swerving all over the place, but that's just how it is, talking to the person you're most comfortable with.

The conversation goes on and on until you find yourself walking along the streets blindly, fiddling with the paper packaging of the burrito you ate. You also find yourself wearing Jake's shoes instead of walking barefoot, he gave to you after you complained about walking over so many rocks, and you didn't like how your heart swarmed and beat dangerously fast as he claimed it would be better if you borrowed them for the night.

Strangely enough, his blazer he took off about and hour ago now stayed on your shoulders, keeping you warm from the cold breezes of the night. All your best friend's actions made you swoon over him, and that wasn't something you would feel often. Maybe occasionally, but not everyday.

Jake doesn't know what got into him when he took his shoes off for you, or when he draped his blazer on your shoulders, or why he took your heels and held it for you. What he does know, is that he enjoys the way your lips purse and a light shade of pink dusted over your cheeks. Or how you pull his blazer tighter around your body and sub-consciously loop your arm around his again.

You two never really got to go through the proper high school experience, your parents forced you to go to a strict school with strict rules, they didn't even have celebrations.

Jake always imagines what it would be like to go to a dance, prom, maybe? Full of fun, dancing, and definitely you. You had a similar vision. Chugging down punch or soda and dancing crazily together until you both get sick and throw up in the bathroom.

Prom was like a mutual yearning for the both of you.

God, how you would kill to have a normal high school experience.

"You know," Jake starts, "this feels like I'm walking you home after prom."

You can't stop the grin from reaching your lips, giving into it and letting out a soft laugh. Softly, you elbow his side, "Corny."

There are a few laughs here and there after that, but overall just comforting silence that goes throughout the night. The crickets that echo throughout the night are your only noises, and the few cars rushing by. You two come to a stop at a random bench by a streetlamp, settling there until you realize it's time to go back to the party.

You realize it, but you just don't want to let go of the moment.

You feel Jake hook his leg under yours, swinging them together in sync as you rest and stare into the night sky. Tonight isn't that much of a pretty night, no stars, barely a moon, but that's alright, you're enjoying the most of it.

You turn your head away from the boring black sky, instead facing the mot interesting thing you find in life. Jake is staring down at your swinging legs, smiling at the sight. He fiddles softly with your fingers, caressing and tracing them as if they were one of the most precious things in the world.

Your eyes trail from your tangled legs, to your tangled hands, all the way up to Jake's face, tracing each and every detail with your gaze. You don't remember when he matured, you only remember the fluffy cheeked bowl cut Jake when you two were still middle schoolers. Now all that cheek has become more defined, especially his jaw, you can't help but admire him. He was like a piece of art. Your favorite piece of art.

For the second time that night, you focus on his hair, and ought to run your hands through them once again. To pull him into your embrace as he rests on you, to simply relax and twirl his strands around your fingers.

It seems like whenever you're staring at his hair, Jake just startles you with his eyes, still glossy, but this time they hold something different.

They admire you just as much as yours admire him.

Slowly, as if an unspoken agreement, you lean in closer to his face. His breath close to your cheek sets goosebumps trailing your body, and his touch now on your neck warms you inside.

Your eyes flit between his eyes and lips, oh those plump, soft lips you dream of. You would never admit it, but you have had many urges to crash your own upon them.

And that's exactly what you do. Though, crash isn't the right word to describe it. They press together softly more than recklessly, pulling into a soft lock, something much more than just platonic love being poured into it. Pure bliss and love are being poured like gentle and calm rivers, the ones you find clear and beautiful in parks. It runs faster as Jake tilts your head to kiss you closer, lips wrapped up in the warmth of yours. It feels like home to him.

Jake is absolutely perfect, you decide, despite all the many nights spent together breaking down, left for each other to pick the other up, it makes him perfect.

He thinks you're the most flawless thing he's ever seen, despite all the gems and crystals he sees in most parties, you're the brightest one shining, he could never find any jewel more valuable than you.

You pull away with one last soft lock of your lips, but stay close and ghost them together. You find his eyes the shining the most you have ever seen in the 10 years you have spent with him, one different emotion fluttering behind them. Love.

You surely don't feel that big of a person when you're at these big rich parties, even if everyone knew of your name. But kissing your best friend and being the one he sees, he loves, being his, you feel like you could rule the world.

You know you're his after this. How could you not? The way he breaks out into a very bashful smile when you leave one last peck on his lips, the way he holds you so close. There was no way he couldn't be yours after this.

A week later you have a very sleepy boyfriend on your couch, his head resting on your lap as you play softly with his hair. Nothing is all that different, except for all the kisses he steals when reaching up to you. And of course, the corny lines being thrown at each other as a competition to see who can come up with the cheesiest, most disgusting pick up line ever.

"I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my baerito."

"Ugh Jake that was just straight but bad! Not even funny or cheesy!"

Jake simply laughs, and wraps his arms around you just as he claimed to have wanted to, mumbling how he agreed into your forehead.

Being in his arms, you feel like you could fight everything that would try to hurt your lover, but for now you stick to the playful pokes he gives to your stomach and sides.

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

[punchmedanny]

This is really stupid and a waste of your time, but I really needed to write this and get it off my chest. To set the scene, I'm going into my freshman year of high school. In 8th grade, I was part of a group of about 8 friends (half guys, half gals). For the purposes of this story, you need to know that K, C, W, and I are female, and L is male. K and L dated for a while till the end of 8th grade. K, C, W, and I created a smaller, closer group called KCWC (later renamed KCEC) and we are (1/19)

all super close. However, K and C are best friends, and W and I are best friends. I met W in 6th grade, but we didn't become friends until 7th grade, but we got super close. Shortly after we became friends, I (at least I think it was me, I don't really remember that well) said that we were Wifeys (hence her being called W). Ever since, we have called eachother Wifey almost every time we see eachother. Last year, in like November, she told me that she's bi. At the time, I didn't really(2/19)

know what that was, so I was kind of like "whatever". Anyway, I learned a lot about it because of her, and it opened my mind to the fact that I don't have to be either gay or straight. In Febuary, I realized that I had a crush on a girl at my school. I shortly discovered that I'm either bi or pan. W was the first person I told for a while. (K recently discovered that she's pan, but that's another story) I've never dated anyone, but W dated a few girls and guys during 8th grade. W is (3/19)

naturally a touchy/physical person, but I'm very reserved and don't like any unsolicited touching. W is the one person who I like to, even feel comfort when I, hold hands (fingers entwined), hug for a long time, and cuddle with her. Every day before, during, and after lunch, we had a routine that involved us waiting for eachother, having our arms around eachother, holding hands a lot, touching eachother a lot, and just a lot of being together. Also, before school, C and I had a routine (4/19)

where we would go to class, put our books down, then go meet W at her locker, and after school our whole friend group would meet and W and I would hug more. (We didn't have any classes together so I could only see her then) Every day, I got more comfortable around her, and we started calling eachother late into the night (I don't have and iPhone, so I couldn't facetime) and she is the only person I actually called. We shared secrets and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. (5/19)

secrets, and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. The KCWC group was all in honors chorus, so. naturally, when we went on an overnight field trip to Hershey Park for a competition, we all roomed together. K and C sat together on the coach bus and W made me promise that I would sit with her on the bus. So I did, and all 4 of us had fun (since we were sitting across from eachother) the whole trip. In the hotel room, W and I shared a bed and C and K shared a bed. We were holding (6/20)

hands in bed and K and C said they act like roommates and W and I act like an old married couple (because we were playfully bickering among other stuff) After our completion that night, we had to watch the band complete, so, ofc, W and I sat next to eachother, and since we were tired, leaned out heads on eachother the whole time (not at all unusual for us though). That night in the hotel was the best night I've ever had. We stayed up wayyy too late playing truth or truth, a game like (7/20)

apples to apples, throwing pillows at eachother (and a lamp), impersonations, and generally just having fun. Before going to sleep W told me that she had a history of cuddling/randomly draping her limbs over people when she sleeps. Also, C was warm, so she turned up the AC. I'm almost always cold, so I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold onl to find that W and I were spooning (I was the little spoon). (Before I fell asleep, I noticed that she was facing me and I (8/20)

purposely turned away rather than in so we could ~maybe~ cuddle (clue one)) In an effort to make myself warmer, I cuddled closer to her. Early in the morning, K and C tried to wake W and me up many times, but we kept going back to sleep, still cuddling. Also, the night before, K and C bet that they'd wake up and see W and me cuddling in the morning (a lot of people either ship W and me together or think we're dating) Also, I'm pretty sure that later, W said that she kept cuddling with me (9/20)

on purpose. (Keep in mind that she's the only person that I've ever cuddled or held hands with) The next day we actually went to Hershey Park, where I got W and C to finally like roller coasters. We (KCWC) all made lots of inside jokes and that day was so fun. We group- hopped eventually, and we ended up in a larger group. We were walking around the park, so W and I were holding hands (it's a big habit), K and L were holding hands (at the time they were still dating), three girls were (10/20)

all platonically holding hands with eachother, and C was skipping alone by herself (she was fine). We walked past Ms. A, my chorus teacher, who is usually the absolute best and we all love, started lecturing us on how we can't hold hands because it's "PDA" and we're not in high school yet. She also looked directly at W and me when she said that she doesn't care if it's a guy and a girl, a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl. We were all shocked because it was so uncharacteristic of Ms. A(11/20)

but we let go and muttered an "ok" before walking away. W and I still held hands walking around after that, but I was wary. On the long bus ride back to the school from Hershey right after we left the park, W was acting high and drunk at the same time, but I know for a fact she wasn't either, so I was very worried about her, so she went to the back to get some medicine from Ms. A and didn't come back till the very end, and she still was way off her game, which made me very worried and sad(12/20)

Shortly before school ended, another girl, R (who all of KCWC now dislike), tried to force things with W, and became obsessed with shoving the fact that she was holding hands with (among other stuff) W and they were now "hubbys". W seemed to feel the same way, so I got veryyy jealous because I thought that I was the only one who was uncomfortable with R around. She started to push me out and I grew more distant because I felt isolated (I have very low self esteem, especiallyyyyy about my (13/20)

social skills) and I began to worry that they all actually hated me because they thought I was as annoying as I thought R was. (I know now that's not true, after the reassurance and actions of my friends, but it was a very possible and major thing in my mind then). I had just begun to feel comfortable and happy when R started messing things up and "stealing" W. The KCWC group finally had a sleepover a few weeks before school ended (this was the first time W and I had hung out outside of (14/20)

school besides friends' bday parties because all our plans fell through), and we stayed up late ranting, throwing empty soda bottles, watching movies, playing games, etc. but we also talked about R. I can't express how relieved I felt that W felt as uncomfortable with R as I did. After that, things slowly went back to normal, though R still tried to butt in time-to-time. My friend group likes to go hang out at a local beach since a couple of us can even walk, but I was too anxious, (15/20)

awkward, and introverted to go before this year. It's kind of a tradition that on the day after school ends, a ton of people from our school go there to hang out with friends. Unfortunately, that was the last day before W moved to Texas (I live on the east coast), and she had to leave early. I still go tp the beach with the others in the friend group, but I feel much more anxious and I'm always a third, fourth, or even fifth wheel, which I never was when W was around. We still text a lot(16/20)

saying we love and miss eachother. I can't even think of her without smiling. A few days ago I opened my yearbook (in which she wrote multiple paragraphs in), played a song that reminds me of her, and wrote down a list of what I love about her before I had to stop since I was crying too hard. We also facetime rarely, since our schedules don't match up. I miss her so much and I was really counting on being able to go to high school with her. My other best friend is in another friend group (17/20)

in which I'm not comfortable with at all. I finally felt fully happy, comfortable, and not anxious when around my friends, but then she moved and it all came crashing down. Now I'm in fear (as always) that my other friends will finally realize that I'm not good enough to be their friend or worthy of their time and they'll dump me as soon as they find someone better. K and C often hang out without me and don't even think about inviting me. I'm worried I won't have any friends in high (18/20)

in which I'm not comfortable with at all. I finally felt fully happy, comfortable, and not anxious when around my friends, but then she moved and it all came crashing down. Now I'm in fear (as always) that my other friends will finally realize that I'm not good enough to be their friend or worthy of their time and they'll dump me as soon as they find someone better. K and C often hang out without me and don't even think about inviting me. I'm worried I won't have any friends in high (18/20)

school. In my friend group, I'm the fattest and the rest of KCWC are very skinny/fit. I'm extremely self-conscious about this fact and W was the one person who I felt genuinely liked me despite all my quirks and I didn't feel insecure around her.  I have a history of not understanding my feelings (or not even realizing that they're there) and W is no different. Last week when we were at the beach, K privately asked if I had lied when W and I both answered no to the "have you ever liked (19/20)

eachother" question. I immediately said no, then K said that W had told her that W lied (she used to like me) but she didn't like me anymore. Since then, I've realized and come to terms with the fact that I've liked her for months, and I still really like her. (I'm not sure like is the right word, but I can't decide what it would be otherwise) I just realized that I've been very jealous of all of her boyfriends and girlfriends and I've been very protective of her. I honestly have no idea(20/21)

[END QUESTION]

Okay, to begin with, thank you anon for being patient with me as it’s taken me several days for me to be in the right headspace to answer this!

So, starting high school is such a hard time in everyone’s life. Like, literally everyone. No matter how popular or pretty or talented or whatever they are. From a biological perspective, people’s body’s don’t make as much serotonin (aka the happy chemical) at that age as they do when people are older, so that doesn’t help anyone. I’m so sorry W moved - it sounds like you two were such cute and fun pair. It’s so nice you’ve been able to keep in touch as much as you’ve been able to and, who knows, you both might really appreciate being able to have a trustworthy outside perspective for things in your life as the school year starts.

For me personally, I made entirely new friends from 8th grade to high school. People tend to change quite a bit around then just because it’s a whole new chapter of your life and hs tends to bring a whole lot of different opportunities and challenges than what comes before it. So, while it’s so, so hard having turbulence with your friend group, that’s very normal and has nothing to do with you specifically. The fact that W left definitely changed the dynamic, but there’s a good chance it would’ve changed anyway… maybe just not as soon.

It’s good to go into high school with friends, but don’t feel obligated to stay as close to them as you were just because they’re who you already know. My hs had a lot more clubs and activities than jr high/middle school, so I’m guessing yours does, too. I was in theatre and art club then later speech and debate and that’s where I made all my friends, many of which were people I’d never even talked to before.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say hs is “the best time of your life” and I seriously question the lives of the people saying that. I’m not going to lie - I personally hated everything about hs except theatre and speech & debate and the awesome friends I made there. And like, not to be boring, but like study and stuff. Seriously, working hard on something that can help future you and give you a sense of accomplishment will probably help you feel better about yourself and is one of the few things you can control when relationships are in flux.

So, (in summary) I’d say don’t feel like any of what’s happening is your fault - it’s extremely normal for the time of your life in. Maintain the friendships you have now, but also get involved in something that interests you and meet new people who like the same thing. I hope this helps a bit

And btw, not a waste of my time in the slightest

My asks are always open if you (or anyone else) wants to talk

[faithnfrostingshop]

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[werewolfmagic]

So, here's my playlist of my life as it has been so far. I may update it, but this is what every song on it means to me as of what was on it 30 June 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9_zyjXfClT3ymeEbJNz-a3oWHgs_isWM

1. Lalasweet- So, this first area of the playlist is themed to be my foreign songs. This first one I first heard in college at Radford University. I spent a lot of my time in college walking around listening to music. This one means a lot to me because I can still feel myself walking around campus when I hear it. I see myself very clearly walking in front of the gym, heading to my sociology class in the morning with my fruity tea from Starbucks. I felt so calm back then, the pain from high school just evaporated as I listened to this song.

2. PEEP SHOW- So, this song took a lot of effort for me to find after I first heard it in college. It was written in characters and I couldnt for the life of me get it translated so I could find it on YouTube. But hey, here it is. I sang this song and the previous song to myself a lot as I walked around campus. The same image appears in my head whenever I listen to it.

3. Crossing Field- This one is a trip for me. So, Sword Art Online was my first anime way back when in high school. This is the first opening song to it. This song also got me into listening to japanese music! Sword Art still holds a special place in my heart. I actually read nearly all the books that have been published, and I've seen so much of it. Another sword art song is actually later in the playlist, and it captures more of how the anime makes me feel. This song and this anime mean so much to me. A lot of good came from anime for me.

4. Kakumei Dualism- I've never seen what this is from. But, in high school while I had to wait on my dad to pick me up, this was the first song I learned how to sing in Japanese. So, I couldnt ride the bus because people were dicks to me. I wouldnt get a seat, people would push me around and generally be assholes. So I waited in the lobby for my dad to pick me up after work every day. He got off around 5 usually, and school ended around 3:30, so I had time to kill. This song got me into trying to learn Japanese and learning how to sing!

5. Bye Bye Yesterday- Ahhhh this anime omg! The ending made me cry so hard I would highly recommend watching it. I used to listen to all of the songs from it on my way to therapy in college, so I learned how to sing this as I walked the 1 and a half mile walk I believe it was once every week after I got out of the hospital. This song and this anime give me so many good feelings and good memories.

6.Masayume Chasing- Again, great Japanese song from an amazing anime I love! I listened to this in my room a lot after my dad picked me up. I remember crying a lot while this song was on, I felt so isolated and alone. This song was beautiful to me though, and it got me into listening to BoA. I spent so many hours listening to her music in high school and college!

7. RE:make- This band was just epic to listen to. I forgot I ever found them, I just remember like jamming out to their music once I found them, and when I lost spotify premium, I sorta stopped listening to a great band.

8. Bloody Mary: I got into two bands because if Noragami. Helli Sleepwalkers was one. I used to sing Bloody Mary so often I still think I have it memorized. I sang it to myself in high school and in college, it's practically a mantra now. More on Noragami in a bit.

9. Let me hear- This is from another anime, Parasyte. Great anime, but I honestly like the band more than the anime. Two of my closest friends in high school, Rachael and Maria, I showed this song to them. I still remember sitting in Rachael's room with them, showing them this song. More on both of them when we get to some association songs, there's a lot.

10.Wagakkiband- Great band, I discovered them in high school. I actually dont know what my favourite song by them is, I cant read kanji so I could never find it. I just cried a lot to their music in high school. I would turn it up so my dad couldn't hear my cry, and I would just sob for hours.

11. History Maker- I'm not sure why, but this has always been a hopeful more lovey song to me.

12. Everything- This song means a lot to me. I discovered this band through Noragami too, I loved that anime I read so much of the manga too because season 3 still isnt out. The oral cigarettes got me through a lot, and I mean a lot. I've always actually wanted someone to sing this song to. It's a love song, I've memorized it so I can sing with the song. I've always dreamed of one day singing this to someone who means everything to me. If you ever get the chance to translate it, this song defined how I viewed love for a while. I still hope one day i can sing this song to that special someone,I just hope I get the chance to.

13. Anohona- This is a real cry song for me. Whenever I felt worthless, i would listen to this. The anime is a real tearjerker too. The line "Something must be wrong with me" resonates with me to this day. People who love each other drifting apart, and blaming yourself for it. I cried to this song for countless hours, I really feel like it defined me for so long. I'm actually listening to it as I write this and I'm already crying because of it. It just always makes me feel like there truly is something wrong with me.

14. God knows- This is a song like Everything. I really want to sing this for someone who means the world to me one day, I've practiced it so much! I hope one day I get the opportunity to sing this to who I truly love. Honestly, this feels like a song for someone who is struggling. I wish i could sing it to my love when she truly needs it most. Because yeah, "I will follow you, no matter what we go through." If you listen to this song love, please know that I feel it could mean something to you too.

15. Catch the moment- this is the other sword art song. I got to watch the movie this came from with my dad. It's one of the last things we did together before we drifted apart when I came out. We went to a super fancy restaurant that night, i had vietnamese food for the first time, and i watched an amazing movie with my dad. I really treasure that memory, and I always will. More on my dad later on.

16. Bebe- Time to change themes. These songs relate to my music career in highschool. I was in marching band, jazz band, and concert band. I played Alto Sax. I always worked towards playing this song. I got the Jimmy Dorsey Sax guide as a Christmas gift from my aunt. And I used it to get better. I never could make it to this level though. I always worked towards it but I fell short. My best in this song was the first few lines of music with no mistakes.

17. String of Pearls- My sophomore year in high school, I played the sax solo from this. It's the performance I'm most proud of. It took a lot of effort, and I fucked up when I finally did it, but I'm really proud of myself for accomplishing what I did. It made me really happy to get to do this solo.

18. Law and Order- I learned to play this on sax too! I actually wanted to perform it in concert, but I was never allowed to. This show means a lot to me. Growing up, I used to sit with my dad and watch it with him. This was way back in elementary school when we did this, and I have a lot of fond memories of watching this show with him and talking with him. It felt like we never really spent enough time together.

19. Pink Panther- I would say this song is what I'm most proud of learning on my own. I never performed it, but I did show off with it during jazz band. I was so proud of myself when I managed to growl with the song! I feel like I really nailed the style of this song.

20. Your latest trick- This is another solo I'm really proud of teaching myself! I never played it, but damnnnn I fuckin nailed it when I played it.

21. Deacon Blues- I would always suggest this song to my band director for us to play in concert. We never did do it though. I love the solo, and I spent so many hours learning how to play this song and just vibing listening to it.

22. Zoor Suit Riot- This is the song I listened to a lot during band camp one year. Band camp was always an experience, I have a lot of stories from it, but this one hurt me, and this song I associate with that pain. My dog, Jake, he was an Autralian Shepherd. He was attacked by a pit bull. He died while I was at band camp. I knew he was sick before I left, and I wanted to stay with him, but my dad convinced me I should go because if I didnt I wouldnt have been in marching band that year. I regret going. I wish I spent my dog's last day with him. He was the best dog I ever had, I raised him. My family didnt even tell me he died until a month later, they just kept saying he was with my grandfather. I really miss my dog, and this is the song that reminds me I shouldve stayed home with him.

23. Centerfold- This is the song I associate with the good side of marching band! This was a stand tune we played during football games, and I really could like dance and jump around while playing it! It was a super fun experience!

24. Radioactive- Heres the bad side of band. My junior year, there was a solo in this song in marching band. We were allowed to audition for it. I tried so hard to get an audition with my band director. He kept saying to ask him tomorrow during pre camp. I said I could come in early, or I could stay late any day, but he kept blowing it off. He said I could do it first day of band camp. I asked when I got there, he said wait until tomorrow. The next day, he gave away the solo to his favourite person, and nobody even got to audition. He just chose his favourite. That really fucked with me. My senior year of highschool, the band director picked on me a lot too. There were so many problems in band, and he always blamed me. I was yelled at because I told the drum major we had to move because the susophones would run into a car if we didnt. I was yelled at for reporting drug use. I was going to kill myself because what was my life at that point was making me miserable. This is the first time i ever cut, this was the first time i wanted to die and i was going to act on it. Maria saved me, and i quit band. More on maria below. This song just reminds me of how fucked up the whole situation was.

25. Honeybee- This is the first of my people association songs! This one is for Maria, my sister. You aren't the first person I made a list of songs for and got one from love. Maria and I had the idea first. I felt it would help us get closer as sisters! This was when we were house sitting for rachael that we did this. The first time I didnt have nightmares was when we shared a bed and snuggled together. Honeybee was one of her songs. She saved me from band. She saved me from myself. She never really understood my depression, but she always helped. Shes also who I came out to first when I came out as trans. She helped me learn how to pass as a girl, and she accepted me for me. I've always loved talking to her, she'll always be one of the people I'm closest to. Shes family. Emily is too, that's my other sister. I dont have a song for Emily sadly, but she means the world to me too. Hell, if you want to know more about any of what I'm saying or more about these people, just ask me love and I'll tell you everything. You still have my number, and you can always message me on here.

26. Mona Lisa- This is my first of two for Rachael's songs. Rachael is the second person I came out to, and she helped me along with maria. I actually ran away from home on Christmas 3 years ago. My dad's girlfriend started yelling at me and I just ran away. I texted Rachael on Christmas Eve and she came and picked me up on the side of the road. I spent Christmas that year with her family and her. I spent next christmas there too. Rachael has always helped me through a lot. She also never really understood my depression, but shes always been a good friend.

27. Fox on the run- This is Rachael's other song. She used to pick me up every morning and take me to school. We would listen to music and chill together on the car ride, and this was one of the songs. I always treasured my time with her, and I often think back on those car rides.

28.Tattered Banners- This song is for Kris. I played dnd at a shop called Mishap Games while I was in high school. Kris was one of my friends there. One of the times I ran away, she got me. I spent the night at her apartment, and she introduced me to her dad, lastweektonight, and amon amarth. When I came out to her, we traded clothes. I gave her my old boy clothes cause she liked plaid, and she gave me the clothes that were too femme for her, and it's because of her I was able to dress the way I wanted to when I came out in high school. I'll always appreciate her for that.

29. Peace of Mind- These next 4 songs are associated with my dad. This one is a positive song. I would vibe with my dad and listen to his albums when we moved out. My mom cheated on my dad while I was in high school, and I chose to stay with him. He introduced me to so much rock music. Boston was one of my favourite bands of what he showed me. I still listen to them to this day and smile and think of the time I spent with my dad. It will always make me happy knowing he chose to spend so much time with me to make sure I was taking the divorce okay.

30. Paperback writer- my dad introduced me to the Beatles too. This song struck a chord with me because I wanna write books one day lmao. I love so many more of their songs too, i had a saxophone book of their music so i can actually play a lot of Beatles on sax too!

31. Pinball wizard- Yet another good memory with my dad. He got me hooked on music from the British invasion, so the who, the stones, the animals, the kinks, so many good bands he showed me! I love the time we spent together.

32. Cats in the cradle- Heres the negative of my relationship with my dad. I feel like he never really had time for me once he met deana and before the divorce. He spent more time with me when he and my mom split up,but then he just stopped. I really hope I didnt do anything wrong. Dad, if you ever read this, I'm sorry if me resembling my mom ever hurt or anything. I'll always love you dad, please pick up and call me back dad, please? I miss talking to you, I miss my dad. I know you're busy, but please? Just 5 minutes dad, please just call me if you ever see this I miss you. I love you dad. I learned a lot from you dad. I hope I'll make you proud of me, I hope I get to see you one last time before August 14th. It might be my last chance to see you. I love you dad, I hope you're proud of me.

33. Fireflies- This is my Gillian song. She fucked me up for years. She changed me. She wanted me to be her Ashe, and Ashe wasn't me. I didnt want to be Ashe but I loved Gillian. I let her change me as a person so that I could be good enough for her, but all she ever did was block me over and over, and unblock me and insult me. I dont know why I loved her so much but I did. She just tried to change me and I didnt want to change but I did for her. There's still a part of me that struggles to remember who I was before Gillian. I hate Ashe, I hope I never become Ashe ever ever again. I really never want to struggle like that again.

34. Imitation of Life- New theme! Let's talk about periods in my life. This was the song I listened to on an up. It gave me hope surprisingly. It taught me a lot about how to approach life. If you watch the video love, it keeps focusing on different scenes going on in a clusterfuck that is life. It just looks like a normal party at first, but there's so many little stories going on as the camera focuses on different parts. This song taught me theres a lot going on I cant see, and I should approach life assuming I dont know all the details. I need to focus on different parts, and then I'll see all the little things that make life beautiful.

35. Mr. Brightside- This is another up song for me! This song really helped me learn to smile and bear it. Like, this song helped me figure out how to smile again, and that if I smile more, life gets better and better the more I smile. It was just hard sometimes. I still struggle to smile, ya know love? You made me smile again though. You really helped me love!

36. Toxic- Fuck me sideways this song. I never have been in a good relationship, and this song kinda defines that. Everyone I've been with is toxic, and I shouldn't have loved them, but I did. I just was under their control. If any of the people that hurt me read this, I forgive you. You fucked me up, but I cant hold a grudge against anyone.

37. Monster- I truly believe I am a horrible person. A monster. I have never been able to do enough for anyone. I have never been able to make everyone happy. I have never been able to help everyone. I'm a disappointment. I'm a disaster who let's down her friends. I've never done enough for people and i can never go back and fix it. I can never save everyone. I can never help everyone. I wish i could help the world, but i feel incapable of doing that.

38. Kiri- This is another cry song. I spent hours in my room after school just with this blaring and crying my eyes out. I wished someone would save me. You have saved me though, love. You saved me from myself.

39. Bad Day- Lmao this song. Every time I had a shitty day I listened to this. I listened to this song every day for at least a year straight. Every day felt like a shitty day. Every single one. I just wanted to kill myself. I'm surprised I didnt. I still dont understand how I'm alive to this day. I dont know if I'll ever know how I kept going.

40. 11 minutes- This is one of the songs I associate with being ghosted. It feels like it always happened. I would make a friend, then a week later they just left me. I felt like I would always be alone. This was my college ghosting song. I made so many friends in classes, swapped numbers, then just nothing. I never heard from any of them ever again. I really felt worthless.

41. Telephone Line- My high school ghosting song. I had so many people promise me they would stay in touch. The only people from high school that talk to me are Maria and Rachael. Everyone else just doesnt care about me. And I get it. I'm worthless. It just hurts still. One person promised we would get together next summer, then when I texted her she ignored it, and posted not even a week later how happy she was to be back with everyone from high school.

42. In love with a killer- My first of 2 link songs. It's because of him I might go to jail, but more on that below. This song I associate with the abuse from him. He held me down, and cut his name into my back. He threw me on the floor and pissed on me and made me clean it with my tongue. He beat me. He stole my phone and texted people pretending to be me and made what few friends I had hate me. I lost everyone because of him. He just beat me and belittled me. He made me use my area even though I was uncomfortable. He made me give him head on his period, this he posted on his Facebook calling me a sissy. He only referred to me as his f*gg*t or his sissy or his fairy, he never let me have friends, and he cheated on me. He told me he only married me so he could own me. I fell for him though and I dont know why. He always said if I didnt mess up he wouldnt have to hit me and it made sense. If only I was better he wouldnt hit me.

43.Designed to Kill- my second link song. I tried to leave him once before we finally ended things. He had hickies on his neck. Since I tried to escape him, he said those hickies were strangle marks. I never hurt him. Hes a fucking bodybuilder and I cant open a pickle jar. I spent a week in jail and they put me with the men because of my area. Now I'm facing felony charges even though I didnt do anything to him. I was the one being beaten. If I go to jail, I'll be going to one where the guards dont patrol. I'll be killed. I'm so scared hes going to take my life from me.

44. Because of you- This is my rape song. When I was 5 or 6 (I cant remember what age) I was molested by a high school boy named Ryan. I never understood what he did to me and I still cant unpack it emotionally. When I went to college, I was raped in my ass with a toy by a trans guy, and I was raped by a nonbinary girl. When I went to the police, they called me the rapist since a penis cant be raped, it can only rape. Someone I was with threatened to post my nudes online. This song is about all of them, and about link too. This is the song I associate with all the pain I've felt because of it, and the fear I have whenever I walk anywhere alone.

45. Call me- this is my treatment song. When I was in college, I planned to kill myself on December 15th, at 3 am, exactly 3 hours after my birthday. I planned to jump out of the window of the 5th floor of muse hall on radford campus. I told my friend mary one day and she reported me to the police. I was put under EDO and sent to a residential home. There I met some really great friends I have since lost touch with. There was a Wii with just dance there,and this was the song we did most often when we played it. That treatment place was horrible. They held me for so long, promised one on one therapy sessions every day but we never got it, and I started the worst medication. It was supposed to help me with my eating disorder by giving me an appetite. Well, I never felt full. I ate until I puked because of it. But my friends helped me, and eventually I left. I'm not sure if that place really helped me or not, but the people did. After treatment, I spent a month at Rachael's house, then a month at Maria's, then I went back to school and moved dorms. It was after I went here I was raped.

46. Bo peep- fuck this animation just made me laugh. I love creepypasta so much, and the scp foundation. Seeing my fav creepypastas made me laugh so much when I needed it. I discovered this video and song and the next one while i was with link, and this made me smile at least for a bit.

47. Bad end- the other creepypasta song. This one actually inspired a book idea! I really hope I get the chance to finish it one day, but I'm not sure if I ever will. We'll see though, right love?

48. Intergalactic- This song I just really vibed with in college. Honestly this song and the next one are grouped together. I have a hard time thinking of why i like it or what it means to me, but it does mean something to me.

49. Echo- I love this band, they wrote my all time favourite song. This is just another song I felt needed to be on my playlist but there isnt any other reason for it.

50. Drake and Josh- omg this show. I grew up loving this show! It really helped define some of my childhood and listening to this song really makes me smile a lot!

51. Take a hint- Victorious was another of those shows for me. Honestly though I included this for another reason. So, you know I'm trans. This show sorta helped me realize it when I was growing up, but I never came out or rationalized it until I talked to maria my senior year of high school. Fuck, one time growing up I was on a fashion site looking at dresses because I really loved them and thought they were super pretty and I wanted them! My brother saw and told my parents I was looking at porn. I said I was because I was embarrassed I wanted to wear a dress. I remember in kindergarten being jealous of Jaycee for wearing this really pretty purple dress. I remember growing my hair out so maybe a girl would braid my hair randomly like they did to other girls. I remember playing dress up with Samantha in kindergarten and my grandmother walking in on it and I felt so embarrassed for enjoying it. I remember wishing I could he a Disney princess. I remember taking scissors to my area and wishing if I cut it off I would be a girl instead. I remember coming out to my sister and being so afraid she would hate me for it. I felt so ashamed for how I felt. I remember being bullied when I came out. I remember being cornered in the bathroom by a group of guys and they said they would make me inti a real girl. I remember screaming and fighting until a student came in and gave me the opportunity to run. I remember going to prom and leaving in tears as people were getting dared to kiss me. I remember being driven to therapy by my friend's husband. I remember him telling me I should go back to his place cause he knows what's tr*nn**s like me like. I remember being chased to my dorm from dnd one night. I remember everyone who's ever grabbed my ass or my chest. I remember being outed to so many people by a psycho old woman and I couldnt even go pee because of her. I wish life was easier, but so many people hate me because I'm a freak.

52. Cantina- New theme! This is how nerdy I am lmao. I've always loved stuff like star wars and dnd and star trek. Honestly this song hits weird. I remember watching the original trilogy with my dad and loving it. And my best friend, colton, could play this song on clarinet. He, Andrew, and I were really close. I kinda associate this song with them. Their mom died and colton walked in on her body. They moved away and I just felt so useless to them. I could never be there for them the way they needed me, I could never help them.

53. Doctor who- I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCHHHHHH. OMG I GREW UP SO MUCH WITH THIS SHOW. This was my escape in high school. I learned how to play the theme on sax too! I just always resonated with this show and it means so much to me.

54. Moonquest- This is my nerdy theme still, but now with youtubers. I've loved the yogscast all through college. Watching their videos really helped me after I was raped. It helped me take my mind off of things. This song really makes me smile to this day because of what the yogs did for me.

55. Diggy diggy hole- this song did the same for me what moonquest did, but this group is just so important to me. I love their content and they really did help me a lot. I got to escape through their videos.

56. All the way- I grew up watching jacksepticeye, he helped me get through highschool. My Irish accent is because of him too, I still like to try and do an impression. I loved growing up watching his stuff.

57. I'm back, baby-markiplier, omg markiplier. This was my first youtuber. I subbed to him I think when I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I didnt miss a video until I lost internet after I moved to the apartment with my dad. I still watch nearly all of his videos. Hes an escape that I really appreciate. He really helps me every day, and I really wish I could meet him so I could tell him his videos helped save me.

58. Fly like a butterfly- Markiplier also inspired me a lot. He made me believe in myself, and his message really makes me want to be the best I can be. I want to accomplish my dreams, and his videos made me feel like he believed in me. I really hope I can keep striving to be the best I can be. If you've never seen his videos love, I hella recommend them, same to his other channel unus annus.

59. Everybody wants to rule the world- NSP. Ninja Sex Party. Lmao this band. It's a rock comedy group. This song means a lot to me. It felt really inspirational when I heard it. NSP also has a really wholesome message behind them, and I believe in myself because of them too.

60. Party of 3- another amazing song by them. After I was raped, I really escaped into their music. And when I had a rough go of it in high school, I escaped to their music. They've always been a sort of relaxation band for me.

61. Baby, NYC- I actually got to see TWRP, Starbomb. And NSP perform in silver spring Maryland. It was one of the last things my dad and I did together, the other being watch thr sword art movie together. This band just means so much to me. I could've only used one song from them and gotten the same message across, but they're so important I felt like I needed more than one. I hope that makes sense love.

62. Smash- starbomb also means a lot to me. I remember the mornings my dad drove me to school I would listen to them on the way there with him. Their music was always really funny to me too, and I love the games they parodied.

63. Rivers in the desert- time for my nerdy videogame theme! Persona 5 royal is my favourite game of all time. The story is really moving, the characters are really well written (yusuke is bae), and it was just such a great experience to play. If you ever get the chance to play it love, I highly recommend it. Fuck I cried so much while playing it, it just means so much to me it's so good, in my opinion it's the perfect game for me.

64. Fairest one of all- This song I heard from SCGMD4! It's a rhythm game, and I've always wanted to show this song to someone I love.

65. Hollywise- this song is from Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe either 2 or 3. It also means a lot to me. This game series got me into rhythm games, and I spent so many hours on Kongregate just playing games like this. Before steam, this was my gaming website.

66. Cat- minecraft. Oh minecraft. I have so many fond memories of doing a LAN party at a friend's house or just playing modded with my lil friend group in high school. It's such a relaxing game, I can just mine for hours and just chill talking to someone. I love building villages too!

67. Zelda theme- I can play this on sax too! I loved watching the game grumps play the legend of zelda games, and I've always had a soft spot for them. I just kinda grew up with this series.

68. Evil woman- This song I remember from GTA IV. That game got me through some shit too, I honestly loved the story in it and it made me feel really good going through the story. It felt so real in a way. I played through it so many times.

69. Top secret- I watched patrckstatic play Maize. It's a really funny game and it made me laugh so hard! I still think of it whenever I listen to this song.

70. Skyrim theme- I sunk so many hours into skyrim. It felt a little samish after awhile, but it was still a great game!

71. Halo theme- Halo 3 was one of my first ever games after the gamecube. Now, why did I include so many short blurbs from video games? I didnt exactly write paragraphs about these like my previous songs. Well, gaming was and still is how I connect with a lot of people. I made friends in Britain, Lousiana, Portland, New York, I still keep in touch with some people through games, gaming has just always been a social thing for me and I grew up playing video games with friends. This music helps me remember that.

72. Wolf blood- this is my dnd song. In high school, I ran dnd club. I taught so many people how to play! I also went to a store I mentioned earlier, Mishap Games, and I played all day, every Saturday, for about 3 years. I played online and I ran groups. I played in college at radford. Dnd was my escape from life, where i could pretend to be some hero or villain character. I didnt have to be eden, I could just play a game with friends. I felt really good playing with people! If you ever wanna learn how to play love, or play together or anything, definitely let me know! I'd love to share a game I'm in love with with you!

73. Finally, Jump Up, Super Star- This is my favourite song. I've always wanted to show this song to someone and tell them how much I loved them. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who's more important to me than anyone else in the world. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and make them happy. I want to show this song to someone I'll always be there for. I wanted to show this song to someone I wanted to jump up with, without a care, someone I wanted to go on the odyssey of life with! My first ever post was me dancing to this song. This song means the world to me love. I really want you to know I'll always be there for you for as long as I'm alive. You mean the world to me. Come on, jump up in the air. Jump up because you know I'll be there for you. Everything will always be okay. I'm here for you. I know you're going through a rough patch love, but I'm here for you.

EDIT: 74. The Last Unicorn- This is the song from the movie the last unicorn. It's my favourite book of all time, it made me cry so hard! It's an amazing fantasy book that turns some tropes on it's head. It is a fantastic read I would 100% recommend so I dont want to spoil anything it's just amazing.

Now, why did I decide to post all of this today? Well I want you to know more about who I am, and what defines me. I hope I can get some explanations on the songs from your playlist too if you're ever up for it. I just wanted to share with you who I am. And I wanted a record of how I've felt to live on after I'm gone, if I do go away in August. Maybe you'll look back on my playlist and smile and remember me? Maybe Jump up will give you hope like it gives me. Maybe you can smile and jump up and just not have a care in the world. I really hope that songs has some meaning to you like it has for me, love.

Love always,

Eden ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[liaragaming]

OC Interview Meme

I was tagged by @tel-abelas-mofo. I really liked how they put the questions in the form of an interview and decided to do the same. Much more fun that way. I’ve never written Sera before. Not sure I captured her right.

1. Pick an original character! 2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were being interviewed for an article and you were the character/muse 3. Tag people to do the same: @accidental-apostate @imaridraws @rosenrotxiii @cherryblossomaxire @thecopperkidd @just-dread-wolfing @apostatehobolife @dammit--solas @inquisitor-julia (Don’t feel obligated. I just tagged people I thought might have fun with it. Do let me know if you’ve already done it!)

“A chronicler from the Chantry would like to interview you,” Josephine explains.

“Interview me?” asks Inan. “Why?”

“With everything that was lost from Inquisitor Ameridan, the hope is having an official record by the Chantry would prevent such an occurrence happening again.”

The way the Chantry views elves, it seems very likely to her it may one day conveniently lose such a record. After disbanding the Inquisition, she thought she might finally be free of the gesturing and posturing of politics. She gives a bitter laugh at her naivete.

“Josephine, can't I–?” She's tired. It's been a long week. On top of the Exalted Counsel and the Qunari threat, she lost half an arm, and Solas is… well…

“I would not ask if I did not believe it important.” Her eyes simmer with the unspoken apology.

She gives a heavy sigh. “Fine. But I want you to be there.”

“Of course.”

“And… and Cassandra.”

“I will make her aware.”

“And Sera.”

Josephine blanches. “S-Sera?”

Inan stares at her. She doesn't have the energy to explain that if she's going to make it through this, she'll need some damned humor.

“I… as you wish, My Lady.”

They sit in corner a row of bunches outside the Winter Palace. The open air relaxes Inan. She thought she'd be locked in some stuffy room with no means of escape. She feels safer here, like she could run if wanted, though she wouldn't. She wonders if the chronicler chose this location or if Josephine talked him into it.

1. What is your name?

“Inan Lavellan.”

2. No seriously, what is your name?

“I...” Inan pauses, confused. To her left, Sera gives a laugh. “Oh, sure. She has other names. Inky, for one. Tadwinks, for another. She has all kinds of pet names.”

Josephine's eyes widen in horror from where she sits next to the chronicler as she watches him scratch a few notes on Sera's words. But she notices Inan's smile, and bites her tongue.

3. Do you know why you were called that? 

“Well, inan is the elven words for 'eyes,' or more aptly translated as 'windows to the soul.' My eye color is unusual, so… that was the name I was given.”

4. Are you single or taken?

Inan's chest constricts at the question. She has no simple answer to this.

Sera lays a finger on her chin, turning her face. “Or she's taken, aren't you, Tadwinks?” Sera stares into her face like a lover, scooting closer, running her finger down her neck to trace her collar bone.

Inan smiles, fighting hard against the laughter that rolls up inside her.

Josephine stamps her foot. “Strike it out!” she tells the chronicler, who is scribbling.

“But this is important!” he protests. “Ameridan's lady mage was all but forgotten–”

“There will be no record of and no further questions involving the Inquisitor's romantic life.”

“But–”

“Strike it out or this interview is over.”

The chronicler sighs and does what she asks.

5. Do you have any abilities or powers?

“Well, I'm a mage. I… had a Mark on my hand that…” She trails off, her mind goes once again to Solas, to his confession, how he'd kissed her and taken the Anchor away…

Cassandra nudges her shoulder, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Uh…” She rubs her stump of an elbow. “I trained as a Knight Enchanter.” She has no desire to address the topic further.

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Josephine glares at the chronicler, who raises his hands in defense. “It's on their list of questions!”

“Strike it out.”

7. What is your eye color? 

Inan stares at the chronicler. “I'm sitting right in front of you.”

“The Chantry requests that I record your direct answers to avoid any misinformation.”

Inan sighs. “They're blue. But they deepen to purple around the iris. That's what makes them unusual.”

8. How about your hair color?

Another sigh. “Blonde.”

9. Have you any family members?

“My clan is my family.” Who she hasn't seen in three damn years because of this job.

The realization crushes her, and she's grateful that the chronicler doesn't seem to notice and moves on to the next question.

10. I see… what about pets?

“I… uh…” She finds it odd she never thought about having a pet before.

“Me!” says Sera, laying her head in Inan's lap and smiling up at her.

Inan bites her tongue to keep from laughing and strokes Sera's hair.

There is no sound of scratching from the chronicler. Either he's taken Josephine's advice not to record such things, or he's decided to ignore Sera all together.

11. Tell me about something you don’t like.

“Punchy noble piss,” Sera mutters.

“Interviews,” Inan says.

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

She has to think. “Reading… and practicing. Magic or combat.”

“Combat?” asks the chronicler.

Inan holds out her hand, pulling energy from the Fade to form a magical sword within it.

“Ah,” he says.

13. Ever hurt someone before?

Josephine stares at him. “We are – were the Inquisition. What is that question meant to imply?”

The chronicler shakes his head and scratches the question out.

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

Josephine glares.

“Right,” says the chronicler, scratching with his pen. “Right.”

15. What kind of animal are you? 

The chronicler gives a nervous laugh. “I'm sure that got mistranslated somewhere.”

“I'm an elf,” she says. “A Dalish elf. Maybe I should state that officially.”

16. Name one of your worst habits.

Inan hesitates and looks to her friends.

“She can care so much about others,” says Cassandra. “Her friends and the strangers we meet, that she forgets to take care of herself.”

“She can get so serious,” says Sera. “She needs reminding how to relax and have fun.”

“In high stress situations, she can be… rash.” Josephine brings her hand to mouth, uttering a soft “oh” and glancing to the Inquisitor.

Inan smiles back. “All of those sound accurate.”

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Inan thinks for a moment. “Everyone. My traveling companions and my advisors. They all have their own strengths, and I wouldn't be sitting here let alone having lea the Inquisition or defeated Coryephus without them. I'm sorry that's not more specific.”

18. Sexual orientation? 

Sera breaks into a fit of high pitched giggles.

“Men,” Inan says simply. “I prefer men.”

19. Do you go to school?

“I was taught by my clan in the ways of magic and Dalish history. When I came to the Inquisition, there was an extensive library to learn more about politics, the arcane, history, and other areas. Josephine could live you a more detailed list if you require it.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids someday? 

“… Maybe?”

21. What are you most afraid of?

The question hits her like a punch to the chest. Inan gasps for air.

She thinks of Solas, of what he's doing, of where his path might lead him, dark roads it terrifies her think about. She takes a shaking breath, a single tear rolling down her face.

“Spiders,” says Sera. “She's afraid of spiders.”

Cassandra grips Inan's shoulder. “Next question.”

22. What do you usually wear?

“Not this,” she tugs at the stuffy Inquisition uniform. “Something simple, casual, low maintenance, with pockets.”

23. Do you love someone?

“Next question,” says Josephine hurriedly.

24. What class are you?

“Um… common? I guess?”

25. How many friends do you have?

“You need a specific number? I had nine regular travel companions and three advisors if you need that for your records. I can give you their names.”

26. Thoughts on pie?

“Pies are delicious… although I prefer cake, chocolate.”

27. Favorite drink?

Dorian Pavus always has excellent recommendations. He left me a Tevinter ale that I have to admit is quite good.

28. What’s your favorite place?

“Skyhold. I'm… going to miss it.”

29. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“A lake. Saltwater burns my face.”

30. Are you interested in anyone?

“No romantic questions!” Josephine reprimands.

31. What’s your bra size?

Josephine gasps. Cassandra's eyes widen. Sera giggles.

Inan tries to keep a straight face. “I don't wear one.”

Sera laughs so hard she falls off the bench.

32. Well, what’s your type?

“No,” says Josephine.

33. And what attracts you?

“I'll just…” says the Chronicler. “Forget that one.”

34. Any fetishes?

Sera gasps with delight.

“No,” says Inan.

“Oh, come on!” Sera pleads. “You'll laugh! You will!”

35. Seme or uke? Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive?

“No,” Inan says again to Sera's insistence.

“Is this really necessary?” Josephine asks.

The chronicler consults their list of questions, skipping to the end.

36. Camping indoor or outdoors?

Inan laughs. “I'm Dalish.”

37. Are you wanting the quiz to end?

“Thank goodness.” She stands from the bench, heading for the stairs and hoping Josephine will forgive her for leaving her to take care of the pleasantries.

[heartofheir]

Psst. You know why I'm here. Do eeeeet. :3c

fcuk

1,2 3 and 10 are done! :D

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?not really lmao

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?knitting and listening to the off topic podcast

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?my dogs and @themysteriousballetanon 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?lie down on the floor, cry and than kick their ass8: Are you close with your dad?kinda, we are both have the same kind of humour and personality which is p cool 

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?ye i smooch my doggos when i got bk from work last night

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?coffee, its got some water in it so ill be fine

12: Do you like hickeys?ye

13: What time do you go to bed?5:30am oops

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?ya

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?nah im quicker with both hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

16: Do you always answer your texts?yea unless i forget or fall asleep 

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Y U P

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?yesterday; we all went to the beach it was top notch

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?my dogs and my siblings even though they are all little shits

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?probs something about being tired af

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?i hope not….

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?i guess?

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?nope

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?i think so

25: In the past week, have you cried?yea

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?maroon

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?yea a variation of it that i cant say cause i dont wanna give my last name out to the interwebs lmao

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?possibly 

29: Do you have a best friend?yea kinda

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?nope

31: Who was your last call/text message from?my manager telling me what time i start work tomorrow 

32: Are you mad at anyone?i dont get mad i just get tired™

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yea

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?21

35: How many more days until your birthday?im not doing math go away

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?nope just working alot r.i.p me

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?ye! :D

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?yup one of them doesnt even know im gay lmao

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?ye

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?kinda?

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?if theres a giant age gap than yea it does

42: Are you available?nope! :D

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?no idea my dude

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?so many!! i wanna get an industrial, another helix ring, maybe my tongue, nipples lol, belly button and my second lot of normal ear piercings plus alot more ear ones

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?it can be awkward af but yea

46: Do you regret anything?lots of things lmao

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?im running out of mango ice tea :(

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?yea 

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?yes and no?

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?she already said yes! (miraculously) 

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?yep

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?he was an ass to me last time we spoke so no

53: What was the last thing you ate?i got one of the chefs at work to make me gnocchi it was delicious 

54: Did you get any compliments today?nope but one of my new coworkers last night said i was really good at my job!! :O

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?no where so far, but one of my friends wants to go to rottnest at some point though

56: Do you own anything from other countries?ye! my auntie went to france and brought me bk a really pretty kitty mask not a furry lol

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?i guess its even but more so guys

58: Where have you lived most of your life?i use to travel around when i was younger but now ive been in the same spot for 10 years I NEED TO L E A V E

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?i wasnt the one driving but it was when i was a babby and we drove from my hometown to perth took us 5 hours

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?nope

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?nah but our house was tomatoed once

62: Who do you text the most?it changes all the time

63: What was the last movie you saw?moana! i loved it!!

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? i dont actually know

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?none

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?nope

67: Do you curse around your parents?not on purpose it just slips out

68: Are you happy with where you live?nope

69: Picture of yourself?

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?im a jealous hoe so just monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped?no

72: What do you most like about making out?i dont think a guy being like a mcfucking vacumn cleaner counts as making out so i wouldnt know

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?yes but again i dont think it counts as making out

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?i just go ‘fuck it' and do it (but only if i know they cool with it)

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?hands and backs, also necks

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?a friend i use to go to school with

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?nah

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?pickup lines im a sucker for them

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?ye! i loves kids

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?yea

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?nope 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?fuck no

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?MCFUCKING YR 9 there was this guy who liked me since yr 7 and me and him were both in dance class at school and OF COURSE the dance teacher put us together for the slow dance performance i left dance and moved to drama cause it just got way too uncomfortable 

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?ye! im dating a furry from the internet

86: How can I win your heart?you already have ;0

87: What is your astrological sign?cancer! karkat

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?the same thing i was doing at 11pm

89: Do you cook?ye but i tend to set things on fire

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?ye

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?i dont have to wish :D

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?id prefer a monogamous relationship

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?not a clue my dude

94: Name four things that you wish you had!more garlic bread from work (we make the BEST gb), mango ice tea, unlimited wifi and a phone that can actually work

95: Are you a player?of games, yes; of people, no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?nope

97: Are you a tease?ive been told i am but i dont mean to lmao

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?i saw @miss--kiwi yesterday at work and than she was mean 2 me even after i gave her gb :

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?what even is love

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?id date the FUCK outta @themysteriousballetanon 

101: Hugs or Kisses?both! oxox

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?normally yes but sometimes ill have a rare moment of bravery lmao

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?height

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?may or may not be a kink for me LMAO

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?fuck no

106: Do you flirt a lot?i have no idea how so sometimes ppl think im flirting when im being friendly, or think im being friendly when im flirting

107: Your last kiss?sometime in September in the back of a car with a VACUUM APPARENTLY 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?nope

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?only my doggos cause they deserve all the kisses

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?my girlfriend even though im not into kissing furries :3c

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?my dogs and hopefully teanii

112: Does someone like you currently?i would hope my gf does 

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?ye!! :D

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?flings really arent that great

115: Ever made out with just a friend?ye

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?i thrive off affection so id prefer a relationship

117. you didnt give me a question to answer and ur asleep rn so imma use this spot to say ur a gotdamn cutie