#'i wanna fuck the ones i envy'
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i risk my life just to exist in this world. i'm not someone you can mess with.
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#gg testament#guilty gear xx#guilty gear testament#art#testament#*23#mine#the epitome of gender envy btw.#its like they were tailor made for my liking.#the day testament was announced for strive was both a day of grief and celebration. on one hand testament. on the other... victorian goth#sorry i hate victorian goth. its overrated.#someone mistook sierra for testament and it reminded me to actually draw them#i kinda wanna buy him for strive but last time i played it i had to wait 40+ mins for a fucking lobby? it was weekend evening. how.#tbf it was a year ago so maybe the lobby situation on ps is better. i gotta check it sometime
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Yknow the farther out from BG3's initial launch we get the less interested I am in Astarion as a romance option. Like I know, what the fuck, I'm a Therion stan I should be In Love with this morally ambiguous thief twink but he's just not my type I don't think lol. I'm still fully here for Wyll and Karlach and Halsin and am still fucking mad about how dirty they did Wyll. They didn't even give him a sex scene. What the fuck
#spitblaze says things#its a fun game. too bad about the racism though#in my defense my interest in therion is less 'he is hot' and more 'he is interesting' anyway#ALFYN is the one i wanna fuck (and also project gender envy onto)
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nika & romance
thinking abt that alia + romance thing @lavampira did and as it would seem that today is nika romance day (since it's all i can think about) so i'm taking inspo, i hope you don't mind <3
silvairre
minor crush back when he was in gridania. nothing truly exceptional. they're not really in contact anymore, although they bump shoulders sometimes.
minfilia
first love. when nika first joined the scions, he was largely aimless, aside from wanting new materials for his songs; minfilia gave him a sense of purpose, even if the key part - part where he too deeply cares for eorzea and does this out of selflessness - didn't really show up. they became friends, and eventually nika fell in love, though minfilia never really returned his feelings. instead, he was glad to simply serve wherever she sent him, and that was enough. her happiness was enough. unfortunately, by the end, nika started feeling used, yet nurtured his love for her for long enough to swallow his feelings on the matter.
his feelings may have even become more intense simply because he knew, deep down, that he had no chances with her. he never tried anything, never bothered her about it, it just floated unresolved for years before her death. she's still a sore spot, and he isn't really sure whether he will ever entirely finish grieving for her, even if he allows himself some measure of anger she left behind. but hey, what is grief if not love persevering? there is no world in which nika does not love minfilia, in whatever capacity.
lyse
a small crush that would have been if there wasn't artoirel. a love that would've gone very sour, very quickly. best left at a single hookup.
artoirel
another case of nika catching feelings for someone he can't, initially, have. nika's equal in a lot of respects; honest to a fault, not very nice, competent yet reserved. nika doesn't begrudge artoirel for trying to get him killed at first. there's a lot of ease in accepting each other, faults and good qualities, between them. artoirel, thus, began to feel like a certain safety. they bonded greatly over their shared love of music and their shared grief for haurchefant. artoirel doesn't ask anything of nika the same way minfilia did, nor does nika himself look for a superior, even though artoirel outranks him by far. to him, artoirel's rank isn't something that matters all that much, just as nika's status as the warrior of light doesn't matter to artoirel after a while.
instead, what they end up being for each other is a partner and an equal, because brothers doesn't quite cut it. it's the one place in this star where nika doesn't have to be the warrior of light, where he can simply be himself, and vice versa, where artoirel isn't the count de fortemps. they're just two guys of equal yet opposite vibes, and at some point, they allied to try and make sense of their respective lots in life. sense is nowhere in sight, but they're too bound together to undo that alliance now. at least they have each other's company on the road.
#nero plays ffxiv#nika perseis#nika x minfilia#nika x artoirel#wolship#wol x minfilia#wol x artoirel#minfilia warde#artoirel de fortemps#not commenting on lyse and silvairre bc they're simply in passing. reverie. envy. 'do i wanna be him or fuck him.'#but they should be mentioned#would've mentioned estinien but that's for a nika & friendship post#there are no romantic feelings between nika and estinien#and a lot of interesting contrasts between his relationships with thancred and estinien respectively#how he idolizes thancred in his youth and then accepts estinien as he is when he's a little older#and how all three of them are angry jaded and bitter#gahhh i love nika's relationships with people. esp other men. they're fun to write about#bc he gets along with women just fine as a general statement. if said woman is one of the rare few PEOPLE he likes#but men are a whole other ballgame bc well nika does have a lot of toxic masculinity and one of his major themes is masculinity so
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im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak
#mine#i feel less ashamed for being hornee abt shin tsukimi do u understand. how humiliating that is.#literally dont even perceive me this is my greatest sin ok AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE#THEY LITERALLY DO ALL THE MOST HEINOUS SHIT IN THE ENTIRE SERIES NEXT TO KIMBLEE#AND THEY /BOTH/ GET OFF ON IT TOO WHICH MAKES IT WORSE#BUT THEYRE JUST SO PAINFULLY GENDER IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST#i want their voice. i want it so bad it's so painful i hate them so much. but i also adore them. and hate myself for that#she was targeting ME SPECIFICALLY when she made them frfrfrfr#fma#i hesitate to even put this in a tag but i feel like other trans ppl will get it. right. u get it right or am i just a lonesome fool#also. js. i hate kimblee. i fucking DESPISE kimblee actually. worst piece of shit ever in the whole series.#i actually got mad bc i forgot just how long he lasts in the series. FAR TOO LONG IF U ASK ME.#& also. i. feel like. i should get points too bc envy is rly the only absolute irredeemable piece of shit i actually enjoy#bc usually. i am a sheep. & i HATE them. but. i am also a sheep. to gender envy. sooooo. unsurprising exception.#but like otherwise unless u wanna count like my man dracula from castlevania which i feel like is not comparable bc he was VALID#envy is the only villain i actually truly like. any other 'villain' i like is more... morally grey. or. understandable. u know. u get it.#anyway. dont ever perceive me for this im ashamed#& also no the irony of having the mention of jealousy/envy as a my most strict boundary & yet having the literal embodiment of envy#as one of my fav characters in my favorite anime of all time is not lost on me. i am a walking contradiction we all know this#at least they're not THE favorite. u can take a very predictable guess on who that title goes to
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#nick#nick falco#nick envy#i dont wanna tag his full ass name because he only has it in one place so#also i needed this to be the first post on here#i fucking love this picture of him
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Damn where did this fandom go
Also McCool is my fave along with Jimmy, Gina and Cheech
I like Cheech cuz of the one-liners btw everyone else is explanatory
#IF ONLY I CAN GET THE HANG OF DRAWING JIMMY AND CHEECH#My Gina sketches still needs work tho lmaoooo sawrry little gal IM TRYING HERE#Fugget About It#Fan art#Strait McCool#Special Agent Strait McCool#yeah fuck that just stick to the first one if y’all wanna create content bout the guy#also I have to tag this with#Pog’s AU#cuz it has my#Tadashi Hamada#in it sooo Sawrry if the other fandom sees this#AU Tadashi#also dw McCool is hella oblivious despite having a schlong horses envy
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Unpopular opinion, mostly a joke: if Crozier just bit the bullet and fucked the rat man, there's a 50/50 chance that the result would either be fixing everything and thus sating Hickey's desperate need for approval, or making everything unfathomably, cataclysmically, world-endingly worse. And it IS 50/50. A coin toss.
strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree
Look. I’ve been around the horn. I’ve seen some fics. Being a violent Crozier enjoyer and deeply concerned about the mental state that could provoke such a decision in him, I can’t condone. And tbh I remain fully convinced that hickey’s little puppy sickness can’t be fucked out even by the daddiest of daddies (which by my own unpopular opinion crozier isn’t quite that. He’s had his moments sure but that’s not the whole of him and honestly I think he’d puke if anyone ever called him that). But I think the souls who explore that in fic are very brave and I wish much prozac upon them in their future.
#at the same time I can’t talk bc I’ve had a post in my draft for weeks#saying there’s serious untapped trans crozier/hickey potential#but that’s a knock on the door and the devil will answer situation and I do not wish to be responsible for that#see this is my problem I fall into fucked up fic holes and then ask why am I depressed like???#girl I just wanna get back to lady terror and francis being besotted with each other in the middle of a survival situation#which by the way I’m happy to anounce that hickey has what I like to call pussy envy in regards to her. never let it be said that I don’t#cover all my theoretical bases even in my silly little self insert scenarios#ugh. i need an advil and a nap#maybe a good cry as well. it’s been a day#ask games#now lets see how many people block me from this one
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i will not stand green team in my house. i swear to god.
#its really funny to me bc ive seen mfers be like wow rhaenyra used her position and power to r*pe crispy cola cola man which no???#he could've said NO and yknow what he wouldve been backed up because he is 1. a man 2. a part of the king's guard bc he serves to THE king#NOT NYRA#but he got with her bc he HAD the chance and then got pissy because he wanted to marry her#and not only bc of honor as he says but because he feels emasculated that he cannot have power of nyra as a husband#also think abt what hes implying there for one moment: take her out of the world she already knows to a world HE knows very well#like he doesnt love her he only wished to possess her#something something how the 'alpha' male types act when they find a bad bitch but then want her to stay at home mother same vibes here#he wanted to make her dependent of him despite already having a BIG thing over her head#also then to have the nerve to NOT call him what he is a MISOGYNIST bc alicent apparently backs him up???#when like alicent uses the patriarchal system to HURT rhaenyra at EVERY single turn#alicent ruined rhaenyra's life out of spite and envy and jealousy#worst part is that rhaenyra TRIED to amend their relationship#MORE than alicent ever did with her#she gets harwin killed her monster kids get her childrens killed#and ALL the pass deeds that were trying to put her down#also how cole and her both of them killed the lovers of laenor and nyra which mind you#people they loved#and both laenor and rhaenyra knew this and they were okey with it but apparently you gotta ask permition to alicent and cole first#like fuck off#also laenor said im the father which PER IRL MEDIEVAL LAW THAT MAKES THEM LEGITIMATE#and also vyseris saw them as legitimate#and thats it#they ARE legitimate and like Vyseris is slow but not blind (yet akjsdbflak) he knew that Rhaenyra's kids were Harwin's but he literally#did NOT care and it was PRETTY clear that he still made them legitimate#the only time i've seen rhaenyra pull rank its when laenor is like noooo haha i wanna go to war pweaseeee let me go to war#like she literally was just vibing and alicent and cole we're mad and seething
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when am i gonna stop fuckin the men i wanna look like
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woe. krang loaf be upon ye.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#krang#rottmnt krang#rise krang#my art#artists on tumblr#ask to tag#kraang#rise kraang#rottmnt kraang#why the FUCK do i get gender envy for the rottmnt krangs???#i had one dream where i turned into one and now i guess i wanna be them?? okay brain
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something people don't understand about me being bisexual is like of course I like cute girls but i also like nasty old men and evil blood soaked women and silly fellas and fucked up shitty guys (gender neutral) and also weirdo lil dudes (also gender neutral)
#uuuuh i believe it was shakespear who said 'i wanna fuck the ones i envy'#sorry im going thru it rite now#in pain mentally and physically#dupree
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Feelin' hot as fuck today
#All you bitches either wanna be me or fuck me 😘#I can do one of those~#envy's thoughts#envy the jealous#envy
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HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!
#im so tired of not knowing what i look like and not knowing What i wanna look like#i wanna look girly i wanna look masculine#i wanna be strong i wanna be curvy i wanna be hot in a girl way i wanna be hot in a boy way#i just wanna be Desirable to Everyone and thats so annoying of me#like bitch stfu about what others like#what do YOUUU want?!#I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!#i actually do not know#do i wanna look like pretty girl or a pathetic man#having different gender envies that is so far from one another is so fucking annoying#can i be normal for FIVE SECONDS#can i not change my mind for FIVE SECONDS#mon contenu
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🔥💎🌠🏘️ :-]
HI TED TY
🔥how many special interests do you have at the moment?
dracula and arthuriana! arthurianas going into its second year anniversary while draculas heading for its first (i may start labeling my dracula fixation as a gothic literature special interest depending how frankenstein j&h and dorian gray go lol)
💎when and how did you discover your special interest?
arthuriana-had an oc named after mordred for funsies, tried looking into actual mor for oc basis purposes, fell into rabbit hole instead of paying attention to class
dracula-was reading casually and then renfield got introduced next
🌠whats a past special interest?
pokemon digimon barbie and whatever gorey anime youtube would recommend me were some kindergarten and elementary icons lol
🏘️what was your first special interest you can remembered?
either hello kitty or ppg cuz i have photos of very early birthday parties for those! tho i remember watching pokemon before i was even going to school lol
#ik barbie wasnt very early#bc my mom didnt want me getting into it cuz of like#either bc she didnt wanna buy me expensive dolls (fair i started a collection.) or bc she felt it was too girly (what the fuck.)#anyways my dad was like ^v^ ok and got me a wedding barbie for my like#fourth birthday? i think?#i loved her to bits but my cats ripped her head out and we put them in an outside storage so its possible my collection molded#atleast i got her dress in my closet#ask#omg does anyone remember that one early ppg pc game#based on the magician episode#i remember playing that sooo much#one of my first art style inspirations was a ppg fan comic#its#not that good but bell my beloved gender envy
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@teddybeartoji @staryukis @dollsuguru @neptuneblue
matching <3
#SOUND OF STATIC SOUND OF STATIC SOUND OF STATIC SOUND OF#OP I FUCKING CRIEDDDDDDDDDD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME#this is one of my fav pieces from you i think i’m literally melting through the floorboards#THEY LOOK SO GOOD . THEY LOOK SO GOODDDDDDDDDDDD 😔😔😔😔😔#FIRST OF ALL . they’re matching 🥺🥺#i love the details of the blue/purple… their nails and earrings ….. such a cute touch <3 even the backgrounds !!!#and just the concept of toru growing his hair out/sugu wearing glasses bc they wanna match is soooooo sweet to me#they’re the couple Ever :33#second of all SUGUUUUUUUUUUUUUU#I NEED TO BE SEDATED#HE ALWAYS LOOKS SO GOOD ….. but the glasses 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 my weakness. help me.#for once i’m actually ogling satoru more than suguru tho bc PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW#THE LONG HAIR ? THE EARRINGS ?? THERE R TEARS IN MY EYES ??????#he looks so tasty i need to eat him alive#WHAT .#i didn’t say that sorry . the parasites made me do it#also can i just say . toru’s pout . sugu’s raised eyebrow . they have 2 much power over me 😞#wahhh this is just . so cute and good i’m gnawing at my fist#thank you for the meal i worship the ground you walk on i envy the air that wraps around your frame#(also tagging my lovely moots i’m super late so maybe you’ve already seen this…. :’3 but . have it anyway <33 i’m kissing you so sweetly)#fanart ✩
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i would get so much more attention if i had a cock
#cock envy#internalized misogyny#i wanna kms#cis#no one fucking cares#transfem supremacy is misogyny
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