#'i only like women' sure jan

[bidokja]

WHERE ARE MY FELLOW BISEXUAL GREED TRUTHERS??? RISE RISE RISE

[sucresanguine]

The problem with all the barbie movie interpretations I keep seeing is they all end up being the most cishet things I've ever read in my life

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Hurts Like Heaven

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: You and Jamie were nothing more than friends with benefits…then Jamie realizes that the way he feels for you is more than friends.

A/N: inspired by the song I Think I Like You by The Band Camino

You and Jamie had been friends for a few years. You met through Keeley and he'd tried to get into your pants after they'd broken up. But girl code meant you don't sleep with your friend's ex unless they say it's okay.

Years later, he and Keeley still aren't together. It originally saddened Jamie, however, he learned that he valued her highly as a friend and he eventually lost feelings for her.

That's when you came in.

Jamie didn't feel ready to get back into serious dating, but he also didn't feel like going back to random hook ups like his early days. That's when you suggested a friends with benefits relationship.

The suggestion surprised Jamie, especially since you rejected him a few years ago.

You rolled your eyes at him, "Yes, but I've gotten Keeley's permission to sleep with you if I chose to do so."

His brows rose, "I'm sorry, what? When did this happen?"

You shrugged like it was no big deal, "Like a year ago."

"So you're telling me we could've been fucking for a year now?"

You snorted, "I didn't think you'd still be interested."

He grinned at you, "Oh, I'm still very interested."

It was nice. He thought the arrangement would change things but it didn't. He still texted you about the things Jan Maas said or a new song that Dani introduced him to. You two would facetime for hours while he was at away games until you both fell asleep. He used to be a man of not many words, but he found himself never shutting up in your presence.

You grabbed lunch or dinner when you could and instead of going your separate ways, either one of you followed the other to your respective homes and you had sex.

Some days, you didn't have sex at all. He'd come over with take out and you two would watch a movie. Or he'd help you cook dinner while you're both singing Harry Styles' lyrics at the top your lungs. He felt so happy and at peace with you.

It was great. It was nice...until you told Jamie that someone had asked you on a date.

"It's fine. We're not dating or nothing, so why would it matter?" he asked you when you broke the news.

You shrugged, "I dunno. Guess I-nevermind. I'm going to cancel our movie night on Friday then."

"What? Why?"

"That's when my date is. Unless...I cancel it?" You looked at Jamie like you were hoping for...something. What you were hoping for he didn't know, but he shook his head, "No, no. It's fine. Could probably go to the pub with the lads or something." He then pointed a finger at you, "But you let me know if he does something that makes you uncomfortable. I'll pick you up. Just say the word."

You nodded and give him a smile, "I know. Thanks, Jame."

________________

It's the night of the date. Jamie has been on edge the entire day and he's not exactly sure why. You'd sent him your outfit for the date and you...you looked beautiful, sexy, gorgeous. There was a pit in stomach when he realized that you'd never dressed up for him like that. Why would you? You two are only friends who also sleep together. Nothing that would warrant you to put much that effort...but Jamie wanted it.

Fuck, did he want you to dress that way only for him, to take you on dates and call you his girl.

Holy fuck, why did he have to realize this all too late?

Even when he went to a club with the lads, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He kept checking his phone every five minutes to see if you'd messaged him. The last thing you sent was you telling him the restaurant you were at and he'd sent you a thumbs up.

He stood at one of the standing tables, nursing a beer and just watching the crowd. His teammates were drinking and dancing with women, except for Colin who was dancing with his boyfriend, Michael.

Getting a bit anxious, he pulls his phone out again, looking at the thread of texts between you and him.

"Are you alright, Jamie?" Sam asks above the club's music.

Jamie sighs and pockets his phone, "I'm gonna step out for a bit!" he shouts back and Sam responds, "I'll come with you!"

They take their beers and head out to the back patio of the club. The music is still loud but not as much.

Jamie lets out a deep breath, letting the cool air encompass him. Sam nudges him, "What's going on?"

Jamie chuckles to himself, "Think I'm in love, Sam," and then winces.

Sam cocks a brow in confusion, "Why do you look so pained then?"

Jamie sighs and runs a hand through his now brunette hair, "It's complicated."

"Is it Y/N?"

Jamie's head whipped to Sam's direction, "How the fuck did you know that?"

Sam can't help but laugh, "You don't hide it very well when you're with her. You're...happier with her."

He scoffs, "'M not so happy now, am I? She's on a date right now."

"Why?"

"Some bloke from the IT department asked her and she asked me how I felt about it and I said it was fine. That her going on that date doesn't matter 'cause we're not exclusive or nothin' and now I fuckin' regret it 'cause I fuckin' love her!" after his mini rant he looks back as a smug looking Sam, "What?"

"I think the solution to your problem is very simple, Jamie."

"Yeah? And what's that."

"Tell her."

He's immediately shaking his head, "No. No. I can't. I can't. It'll ruin everything."

"I don't think it will."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, but I have a strong feeling it'll be okay."

Suddenly, his phone is buzzing and your contact photo is staring up at him. He looks up at Sam and his teammate is grinning at him, "Tell her," he says before patting Jamie on the back and heading back inside.

Jamie nods and answers your call, "Hey, you alright?"

"He was a complete prick! He yelled at our server because his pasta wasn't al dente and complained about me eating too much bread."

"Pft. You love bread."

"I love bread so much!" you sigh, "I'm having uber me drop off because there was no way in hell I was getting in the car with him again."

Jamie frowns to himself, "You should've told me. I could've picked you up."

"I texted you ten minutes ago and you didn't respond!"

Jamie curses and pulls back his phone going to the text thread to see you had texted him, "Shit. Sorry, love."

"It's fine. You can come over after your night with the boys."

"I'm leaving right now. Wasn't very exciting anyway. Want me to grab some food?"

You groan, "Yes, please. That meal wasn't satisfying enough."

Jamie finds himself smiling, "Alright. I'll be over in a bit. Get comfy for me."

"Waaaay ahead of ya. Tossing the dress in the hamper as we speak and pulling out my comfy clothes. Shall I pull yours out as well?"

"Please."

"Got it. See you in a bit, Jame."

"Right. Bye." After he ends the call, he heads inside to say his good-byes to his mates. Sam is giving him a knowing look and a "Good luck" as he walks out of the club.

___________________

Half an hour later, Jamie is letting himself into your place with the spare key that you gave him. He places the takeout on the coffee table in front of you.

"Go eat. I'm gonna change."

"Thank you!" you holler as he walks down the hallway to your room and where you've laid out a pair of joggers and a t-shirt for him. He quickly changes and heads back to your living room where he sees you shoveling your face with the food he's brought.

He's smiling wide as he sits beside you, "Good?"

You nod, "Soooo good!"

He grabs your remote and plays the movie you picked, "Guess we ended up having our movie night after all."

You snort, "Shout out to Liam for IT for being a prick, I guess."

Jamie stills. His brows furrow and you see he's thinking hard about something. You set your food down, pause the movie, and turn to completely face him on the couch.

"What's going on?"

"I realized something."

"Okay...is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Depends on how you take it, I suppose," he turns to face you as well, "I...I think I like you more than I should."

"Meaning..."

"I'm in love with you. I think I have been for a while now but it just didn't hit me until you were out with that prick-"

"Liam-"

"and all I could think about tonight was losing you. I hate that you looked absolutely gorgeous for someone else. I hate that it was him taking you on a date and not me. And I hate the thought of someone else being where I should be."

You chuckle, looking away and shaking your head, "Jamie Tartt," and this is when Jamie prepares to be rejected by you, "took you long enough."

Oh. Oh. That's not something he expected.

"So, uh, so you-"

You lean in pressing your lips against his and when you pull away you're smiling, "I love you too."

"Oh. Great. Cool. That's-That's good."

You laugh, "Did I break you?"

"Maybe?"

You laugh more and he's smiling again. Your laugh is music to his ears and it's filling him up with so much warmth and love.

You pat his knee, "Alright, loverboy, let's continue this movie night , yeah?" you press play and you grab your food. You curl up into Jamie's side and he relishes in your warmth while you feed him some of your food.

A day later, Jamie posts a picture of you sitting across from him at the same restaurant you went to with Liam, with the caption: Dinner with me girl <3.

His comments littered with applause and congratulations from his teammates and fans. They all love you, but Jamie loves you the most.

[centrally-unplanned]

Saw this really cool post of a 1982 "SF" (Science fiction but in Japan that included things like anime, manga, tokusatsu, etc at the time) magazine that did a survey of active fan groups/circles at the time - ~woo, precious data! Lets see what we got:

Love to see a good gender breakdown - as is often the case in these things, while it is of course majority men the number of women participating is very strong. You do notice the age imbalance there - many women in their teens and college-aged, but it drops off quickly. I suspect that this is primarily because this survey is right in the middle of the first wave of the "pop SF boom", where more approachable works like Gundam and new manga subgenres were rapidly growing the community. So the older cadre was more heavily men, while the new group is more balanced. However, this is the early 1980's - it might just be that when a woman graduates college she was expected to marry and "settle down" still, inhibiting participation in these kinds of groups. I think it is primarily the former, Japan had pretty rapidly changed in the 1970's and female creative types were commonplace by then, but I won't pretend the latter players no role.

The writing on this page just contextualizes the piece, not much to report, though it does note that "3 people replied 'other' for gender...as a joke!" Sure, jan!

Anyway, on to page 2, what is our poll question of the day...

ロリコンについてどう思いますか? What do you think about lolicon?

....*siiiiiighs* guys I didn't, I didn't look at the second page before typing this up! I just wanted to report the gender data! This just happens to me, I swear -_-

But I can't back out now I guess:

It actually splits the question by gender - men are asked "are you a lolicon" while women are asked "what do you think of guys who are lolicon" - sexists, way to erase the female lolicon. Not actually joking there, it is a quite a thing due to its overlap with rape and dubcon fetishes - but I won't pretend I have expertise on the prevalence of that in 1982 Japan's SF community, even if it you see it today. Anyway, most men are not lolicons (the tallest line), though others fall on a spectrum from interested to "graduated", certainly a choice of words one could make.

Funnily a good dozen say they are called that by others, but not themselves - I believe that is related to the vague line between loli & shoujo aesthetics at the time. Which is important to emphasize, as I always do on this topic - sometimes the word lolicon just means "youthful" or "cute", sometimes it means like high schoolers, and sometimes it means real-deal underage stuff, and you won't know without context.

Meanwhile two women label lolicon men as "cute!", good for those two living their truth, while others are broadly tolerant but have Opinions. Which is fun, because the rest of the page is people sharing said opinions, sorted into "good" or "bad"! Some choice ones:

★ It's a symptom of modern civilization’s sick parts, but also an inevitable phenomenon. It’s better than having a rabbit or cat complex. Don’t lay hands on young girls. Lolicon must remain platonic. (♂/19/)

You see this theme a bit, "symptom of modernity", the new sexual fetishes are a product of a changing world. Certainly up for debate, but also very "in vogue" for the 80's & 90's to worry about that sort of declinist narrative. Then again, guy is a catgirl and bunnygirl hater, not sure we should listen to their shit taste.

On the flip side you get the "natural way of things" types, of which this is my favourite:

★ There’s nothing abnormal about having a dream involving an uncontrollable urge towards pre-teens. Even Romeo and Juliet would have made Romeo a lolicon given Juliet’s age (14), but people don’t think of it that way. Only at that age can girls love and respect men without ulterior motives. (♂/19/)

That last line, you are telling me so much about you with that one!! You can see how this is discourse, right? Like if one side says you are a "symptom of modernity" you ofc respond with "this is how all guys are" and with callbacks to traditional culture.

The "bad" side has a lot of ruthless condemnation, with more than one call for the lolicons to simply die or labelling them worthless scum. The magazine's writers do try to keep the tone breezy but I do think this topic being actually contentious in the community pokes through here. Though this serious one really did undercut herself a bit at the end:

★ I can understand why one person of the same gender might feel admiration or affection for a child or young girl, but for a man to only be able to love much younger women? That’s a mental illness! If they aren’t willing to fix themselves, they might as well die. They’re enemies of women. It's not going to turn out like Nabokov's Lolita. (♀/20s/)

I mean they did also kill jesus Humbert Humbert in Lolita. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill the Lolita guy.

There is an editorial at the end, and it echoes something one of the comments also states; that the lolicon boom was seen as coming from "hard" SF fans, the people who did the really nerdy stuff. There is a word they use actually which is neat: 根暗/Nekura, meaning someone with a "gloomy root". It began seeing use as a slang for hyper-serious, boorish people in the late 1970's and became a fad to use in precisely 1982 - here is a live record of that! They associate "hard SF" fans with these sort of gloomy types who can't take a joke or appreciate hanging out with the buds at a bar, that kind of thing. From there, and here I am reading between the lines, these fans like a sort of "idealistically sterile" world, and lolicon as a preference (in comparison to Real Adult Women) flows naturally.

I mention this because astute readers might be going "oh, like otaku?" and that word was only just buzzing around at this time - it is typically dated to 1983. The editorial writers note that these nekura-types are nowadays proud of that fact, wearing it like an identity:

A: I’m not really sure why, I don’t fully understand the inner workings of the SF world, but it’s like, out there, hardcore SF fans are considered gloomy. Maybe that’s why there’s this connection to lolicon? B: But surprisingly, everyone’s actually pretty cheerful. In today’s world, the 'dark and gloomy tribe' is trendy. It’s like they’re enjoying calling themselves gloomy, almost as a fashion statement.

So yeah, I can totally see proto-otaku discourse going on at the edges here.

There is a third page but it continues in a similar vein. A bunch of mentions of Hideo Azuma, who I am growing increasingly convinced was more of a lodestone for the lolicon boom than is currently appreciated - he is the ur-reference everyone makes. More discussion of girls in sailor uniforms as a gateway drug, yeah yeah, "is fine as long as its fiction", of course of course, one of the magazine editors remarking he wants "a wife for practical uses but a daughter as a pet" yeah okay we can call it we're done here, no more survey data anyway.

Not the topic I expected to find, but still this is really valuable "primary source data" - you can't trust the literary class fully on these things, having first hand quotes from community members on otaku culture in the era is always valuable.

Sorry if you got tricked into reading this - in my defense I did too!

[memories-of-ancients]

Early American Presidential Elections Were Way Different Than They Are Today

It's election season again, boy it sure is. I can tell because I now get daily texts from Joe Biden asking for money which is interesting because I never gave him my phone number and Trump has been sending me enough ads through the mail that it clutters my mail box if I don't empty it more than once a week. So in celebration of this great competition between two philosopher kings and elder statesmen I wish to detail how different presidential elections were in the opening decades of the United States compared to today. And I can tell you, elections back then were totally different, almost unrecognizeable.

First, most people could not vote. Early American elections were not democratic by any means. Of course women couldn't vote, so automatically half the population was ineligible by that fact alone. Also men who belonged to a minority groups couldn't vote. However, if you were a white man, odds were you were still ineligible to vote. All of the states had wealth and property requirements for voting, which made it so that the only men who were eligible to vote were wealthy white males. As a result, until the 1830's only around 2-3% perhaps 5% at most of all people were eligible to vote.

Secondly, you did not directly vote for the president at all. Presidents were not even listed on ballots. When you went to vote, you voted for your state's electors, the presidents weren't even listed on the ballot. In George Washington's diary entry for Jan 7th, 1789 he wrote that he voted for "Doctor Blackburn and Colonel Stuart", who were the electors he voted for in his district. The following is a surviving ticket from the 1789 Maryland Presidential election held by the Smithsonian ...

This was of course if you lived in a state where popular vote was used in presidential elections. According to the US Constitution it's up to the states to determine how electors are chosen. At the time many electors were chosen by state legislatures, or appointed by state governors. In the very first election (1789), only Maryland and Virginia used popular vote to choose electors. Incredibly New York failed to appoint electors altogether! In the next election, (1792), Massachusetts and Pennsylvania tagged on. Gradually other states did the same until by 1830 most states used popular vote to decide elections. The results are goofy looking popular vote maps like this (election of 1796), the gray areas being places where popular vote was not used, or there were not enough wealthy white men to vote.

Today we still use the Electoral College to elect the president, although there is a pretense of direct elections. When voting for president you are actually still voting for your state's electors, but it's generally agreed and expected that if your state's majority votes for a certain candidate, the electors will likewise vote for that candidate. And of course popular vote is used in every state to choose electors, for a state to do otherwise would be a national scandal even though it would be technically constitutional.

Finally, president and vice president were not on the same ticket. Today, for example, if you voted for Joe Biden, you are also voting for Kamala Harris as vice president. Until the passage of the 12th Amendment in 1804 the way it worked was the candidate who was runner up became vice president. So today if we used the same system, Joe Biden would be president, and Donald Trump would be vice president. Likewise in the previous administration, Donald Trump would be president, and Hillary Clinton would be vice president. I suggest we repeal the 12th Amendment.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

hi, I was re-reading some of your posts about anti-male sexism in the prison system (from jan 22nd), and was wondering if you could elaborate on your arguments some more? While I do understand how men tend to receive harsher sentencing, I don't think that they are treated worse than female prisoners necessarily? Both experience different forms of sexual and physical violence, but I'm not sure how this demonstrates anti-male sexism? I do really want to know what you think in good-faith; I didn't know how women were over-represented in prosecution which is kind of eye-opening

first off i should correct a confusion: women are not over-represented among cali prosecutors; prosecutors here are female at about the same rate as attorneys generally (~45%). the reason i brought this ratio up was not to suggest women play a particularly important role in this disproportionate incarceration of men, but that it is not the exclusive work of men, which is a common way of dismissing allegations of misandry: "its just men doing it to themselves!"

i think that gets to one difference between how i think we should understand misandry and the strawman that a lot of misandrists keen to denounce the concept bring up: its not an "axis of oppression" (which is not imo a particularly helpful lens by which to think about the world) but a societal prejudice. men are, overwhelmingly disproportionately and even when similarly situated, treated as dangerous and unclean and predatory and disposable, in need of being kept away from ppl whose safety and purity fetches a higher price

disproportionately severe treatment at almost every stage of the criminal process is one obvious manifestation of this, historically much higher rates of quasi-carceral psychiatric confinement pre-deinstitutionalisation is another.* im not sure why you dont consider this in and of itself a form of injustice, going to prison in my country is just about the worst social fate i can imagine for anyone, and the fact men are not only far and away more likely to be condemned there but more likely even controlling for similarity of criminal circumstances seems like an obvious knockdown argument for the horrifying reality of misandry

these are obviously extreme examples, but i think similar patterns play out in most ppls lives very regularly. which is why i can be reflexively hostile: this all seems so obvious to me i assume it must be to others as well, so my first instinct is to assume malice

idt these prejudices are unique to women, liberals, leftists, or feminists. similar fundamental distrust of men is talked about just as openly on the opposite end of the political spectrum. but i think the way ppl dismiss these concerns in communities friendly to feminism is both pretty unique and quite bad

*(some ppl in the thread were complaining about how this doesnt hold for contemporary inpatient hospitalisations. this apples/oranges: large mental hospitals in their heyday played a very different and harsher role than being forced to spend a couple of weeks in the psych ward, and ppl blithely comparing one to the other are just parading their ignorance. state mental hospitals, the actual direct institutional successors to the madhouses of yore, are basically nowadays adjuncts to the carceral system itself, and thus skew overwhelmingly male; see p. 10 here)

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Hello, hope you are doing well, I have a theory.

Remember when Camila said she had sex for the first time with that old dumbfuck idiot?(LMFAO). Anyways, this makes sense. Not because it is true of course not, it’s false because 1) that was PR 2) Camila will never fall for his dumbass 3) Camren was actually together during the PR ( AMA, 2018! And number of indirects which were not coincidental) 4) this is subjective because I believe Camila is a lesbian. It makes sense because the narrative made by her team is that she was never in love before Matthew and then again changed it to Shawn( lmfao, they can’t keep it consistent) C being a romantic hopeless fell in love with Matthew and “gave her virginity to him” (🤮) and then she always had a crush on Shawn and ended up being with him after dumping Matthew. That didn’t work out, she tried to move on with a dude who made an app or something (don’t know don’t care) Shawn and C tried again didn’t work out again because he is a person who needs help( lmfao, he does need help with singing especially) and now is in a era of basically just being happy with herself and exploring.

Now, this is interesting(I think), basically the narrative is saying she didn’t explore her sexuality until she was 20( funny how it also destroy the myth of those leaked texts between her and Michael from 5sos) this could be potentially used when she will come out of the closet. Saying, “ I am exploring my sexuality now and I discovered I like women too so I am bi/ pan(whatever her team thinks suits her better)” this also just proves( at least for the GP) there was nothing between Camren back in the band days (sure, Jan), leading to the future where they could come out as a couple without exposing their past. (If they are still together). I believe this for one more reason as recently in an interview, Lauren said “I was the only queer in the group….AS FAR AS I KNOW” I think it is self explanatory why that is important. Another thing is how much Gaymila has been out. I could be wrong, but then again nothing is coincidence with these two. What do you think?

Hey buddy, I'm going well 😊. I liked it. I'm not sure if It would be just as you mention, but I like your theory. I don't know where Camila will go with her image from now on, but I hope that at least she can free herself with time, she needs it.

The part about Camila dating Lauren doesn't fit, at least not as a couple, but as friends who reunite after "years" of not seeing each other. I'd like to see that.

[daeneryseastar]

hotd episode three thoughts:

episode was titled ‘the burning mill’ for the battle of the burning mill and we only get to see the aftermath. no black aly, no bloody ben, just pain and suffering.

“i can’t fault him for upkeeping his oath.” is such a lame excuse, since he tried to kill her last episode, they could’ve just had her say she wants to honor erryk and his sacrifice by allowing him to have peace with the brother he still loved despite everything.

i went from ‘i still kind of care about you even though i’m not a big fan of the changes’ in regard to rhaenys to full on dislike. good job condal!! “maybe you can talk peace with alicent (she has proven time and time again her demon spawn will not listen to her) 😜 luke taking aemond’s eye started the war (a 7 year old defending his brother 6 years ago caused the war, sure jan) 🤪 im gonna imply you being practical about the war’s inevitably will cause me to stop supporting you 😋 just in a silly goofy mood 😛😛”

i liked mysaria and rhaenyra’s conversation, and appreciate the setting up for addam claiming seasmoke.

gwayne fucking hightower had more speaking lines than jace. glad to see he pissed his pants when confronted with moondancer however.

baela>>> arguably best part of the episode. dany’s theme playing over her and moondancer’s entrance is reaffirming my fancast <3

corlys whining about joffrey only being six and knowing nothing of the sea is honestly hilarious since that’s how most heirs start off as? also not surprised he doesn’t consider rhaena good enough to be his heir when he’s proven time and time again he’ll only support women in power if it benefits him. can’t wait to watch greencels bend over backwards and claim this is rhaenyra’s fault once again !

actually the way rhaena was treated this episode is just major ick vibes. the writers have this obsession with making every non-dragon rider targ a liability to their family? which makes no sense at all, but they couldn’t even include one line of rhaenyra saying she was sending rhaena to the vale for her safety to? i’m glad she told her upfront she was entrusting the future of their house to her (an omen for morning? i’m not holding my breath) but still.

you mean to tell me aemond’s biggest adversary in life wasn’t his toddler nephews??? but instead his big brother??? who has no redeeming qualities and proves he’s willing to hurt him to feed his own ego??? shocked, i tell you. absolutely shocked. ‘true brotherhood’ defenders are going to lose their shit when aemond attempts to kill aegon next episode (apparently twice? for once i’ll be on his side i guess).

the showrunners brought dyana back just to have her serve the man who raped her and be sexually assaulted again, what a feminist take!

had to see a dude get sucked down in the same scene. now i need luke to take my eye(s) out too.

i did NOT need to see aemond’s dingaling what the fuck

baelon’s… bastard… son? the same baelon who was head over heels in love with alyssa? the same baelon who never took another wife nor even looked at another woman after her death? the same baelon who’s sister couldn’t even convince him to take her to wife? vaegon having a bastard would be more believable.

helaena apparently doesn’t give a shit about jaehaerys! more absolute bangers from the writing department. instead of going mad over this loss and deliberately throwing herself out her window she’s going to see a really pretty butterfly that she must have and accidentally tumble over the balcony.

rhaenys praising jaehaerys is so fucked, he’s the reason you’re not queen right now, and he laid the groundwork for the greens to have any claim at all EAT MY ASS

why is alys american.

daemon’s harrenhal arc seems very interesting -so far- it was great to milly’s rhaenyra again (also am i the only one that thought she was holding a baby, jace or a hypothetical ‘what if daemon married her to begin with’ and not sewing up jae’s head) also “you will die in this place” is peak foreshadowing honestly.

alicent continues to pull the ‘i didn’t think the leopards would eat MY face!!!’ “i have perhaps been unkind but never dishonest” copium much??? you deliberately made rhaenyra and her kids life’s a living hell bc she managed to find happiness in her situation and you couldn’t stand that.

that sept scene was dumb as shit but at least rhaenyra has exhausted every single option possible for no war and her antis can shove it and be reminded that she’s the only monarch that gave a shit about the destruction about to happen. ‘team neutral’ team fucking idiot more like.

episode is rated 2/10 for baela, rhaena, jace/joff/aegon/viserys crumbs, and house blackwood mention.

[jamiesfootball]

lol TL gang goes to Pride lol

Roy - immediately breaks off from the pack and finds a group of drag queens. “RHONDA! How the hell are you, mate? You look incredible”

Keeley - has beef with 18 different lesbians who she KNOWS will be there and has enlisted Rebecca’s help as a human shield to hide behind

Rebecca- is flattered. Wore matching outfits with Keeley. Spends all of pride making a variety of women and men say, ‘god I’m gay’

Isaac - announced himself as the czar of outfits for the whole team. Did a very good job, which in this case means they are sadly understyled. He also won’t admit to anyone that he is wildly uncomfortable and nervous (they all know). Colin is patient and loves him anyways

Colin - also won’t admit to anyone that he is wildly uncomfortable and nervous (Isaac and Michael know. They are patient and love him anyways)

Jamie - planned to spend the day helping Isaac talk up Colin. Has been optimistically offered every Pride flag sticker under the sun by every gay, bi, trans, ace, aro, queer person under the sun. Is wearing them all to be ‘a good ally’

Beard - “RHONDA! Your wig looks better- did my guy help you?"

Moe - is trying to hand out new genders to the team like a drug dealer

Richard - ”this would be better if we had gone to pride in Paris”

Jan - has been to pride before. Dressed in normal t-shirt and shorts. Blends in. They have lost Jan Maas in the crowd.

Dani - shirtless! having the time of his life!

Thierry - also shirtless! Partying with Dani!

Jamie - is hiding from Moe’s very convincing argument that he try new genders ('this is like the astro-teleportation all over again') and has gone to hide behind Keeley. Joins Rebecca as art of The Wall because yeah, he knows who this Mariah is and Keeley is honor bound to fight her if she sees her. Yeah, it’s non-negotiable, they’ll just have to make sure Keeley doesn’t see her.

Rebecca- is speaking to jamie for the third time ever but an airhorn goes off before we can hear anything. Together, the three of them win some sort of couple’s prize. They are all flattered but not surprised

Later on Jamie finds Roy and says, ‘I think one of these stickers apply to me.’

Roy, who has been drinking with drag queens since 11am and is on the sort of level of ascension that only absinthe brings on, says, "Yeah that makes sense"

Jamie: ???????

Roy, condemning himself to 6 months of confusing text messages and non sequiturs because he will not remember this tomorrow: I mean it’s kind of obvious

Jamie: Huh. Well, don't tell anybody yet, yeah? I'm still figuring it out.

Roy, unsure of where the sun is and seeing in the fourth dimension: Yeah, sure.

Trent: "Rhonda! Hello, it's so good to see you. How are things at The Independent?"

[footballffbarbiex]

Good morning :) I'm trying to get back into writing so I thought I'd give you a little update where I am. I'm currently finishing my patreon requests so that's one section ticked off and I forgot how good some of these are 😩

In terms of those requests we have:

Antoine Griezmann - her teasing of his comparisons to Charles Leclerc leads to sex like no other and he's determined to make sure he's never compared in her mind again.

Dominik Szoboszlai - learning Scouse is different to learning English but she's there to help him learn - fluff

Dušan Vlahović - he's always been open about his sexuality and what he likes in bed but what he's not expecting is to enjoy no longer being in control.

Jack Grealish - she's the Man City women's GK. being plus sized, she thought friendship is the only thing Jack would want or need from her, but when they're forced into the same facilities, the needs always come out.

Leon Goretzka - her team kicked Leon's out of the champions league. when he refuses to let it slide, he's going to have to take matters into his own hands.

Mats Hummels - they're in the same book club. he's insufferable and he knows it. bookworms to lovers.

Mikel Arteta - lads locker room talk about squirting leads Mikel on a mission to separate the fiction from reality.

Paulo Dybala - they've been away from each other for far too long and the meeting between the sheets is needed - if they can make it that far

Rodrigo De Paul - he buys her new lingerie and though he's fantasised about seeing her in it, he now can't wait to take it off her

Rodrigo Riquelme - she's the teams SM manager and they've been hooking up secretly. a quick one before training wouldn't hurt….would it?

I think we have a good mix of players to read and so these will be posted one a week until they've all been uploaded - please note these will not be coming here.

Then I will work on the series, and a few more normal request one shots. If you've got the teaser link, you'll be able to check how it's going. The first of the series I'll be completing is the next few chapters of So....Teach Me.

A few non requests I'll be working on is the Devil!Domi fic, and a switch around where she's the devil and a player will give anything if it means he gets his career to take off. I'm just trying to think who I want this player to be.

I'm also going to write a self indulgent mini series about the Atletico Madrid boys which will be smutty. I'm thinking Anto, De Paul, Jan, Correa, Gimenez, Hermoso, Llorente and possibly Riquelme. Thoughts?

Anyway, that's enough of a writing update, I hope you're all ok and hopefully I'll be bringing something to your screens soon that you'll enjoy :)

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ POV: Seokjin

After a successful day of scheming, Seokjin calls his favorite plaything to join him and Hoseok for a little fun. 

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

❗ THIS IS A CHARACTER POV CHAPTER!!!

if you do not wish to perceive any POV that is not the main character, please feel free to skip this one!

🗡️Seokjin x Hoseok

🗡️ word count: 7.2k

🗡️ mafia au, dishonest characters, established relationship, bdsm, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit, 21+

🗡️ warnings: top Seokjin with mention of bottom Hoseok; top Hoseok & bottom Seokjin; scheming; mention of the use of heroin; use of the word "whore" not meant derogatorily, but not always kindly; allusion to puppy play; talk of manufacturing and selling drugs with the purpose of getting people addicted; shower play; enema play; light humiliation; ass eating & fingering; Seokjin is...morally grey at best.

🗡️ notes: mc is referred to in 3rd person (she/her) pronouns for this chapter! listen: Seokjin is not the nicest person, so please take the way he speaks with a grain of salt. it is hard to put everyone's full intentions into the POV scenes because i still need there to be surprises later on!!! but i feel like this is going to really help to solidify the way many of you feel about this character hehehe. i hope you enjoy!

🗡️ early draft beta read by @blog-name-idk - with minor unbeta'd edits done since.

🗡️ posted march 2024 - originally jan. 2023 | read on ao3

"She's not going to go for it," Hoseok teases as he reaches around Seokjin's broad shoulders from behind and straightens out his burgundy satin tie. 

Seokjin's tie matches a fitted burgundy Armani suit, which he wears with a cream undershirt. His hair is pushed off his forehead, bringing together the look.

He has a meeting at House of Cards with some investors who are looking to build near the Shin territory just outside Busan, in a smaller port city, and Seokjin wants to make sure those men are on Yoongi's side if push should come to shove. 

But first, he plans to make a stop by the mansion to discuss something with Yoongi's little pet. 

"She doesn't have to go for it," Seokjin responds, watching Hoseok's reflection with adoration swelling behind his lungs. Recently, Hoseok has been letting his hair grow out, and he looks devastating with dark brown waves falling past his eyes and longer bits tucked behind his ears.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow and cocks his head, done with his task and letting his arms hang over Seokjin's shoulders. Seokjin spins on the balls of his socked feet and wraps his arms around Hoseok's waist, pulling him close. 

"I am merely planting a seed. I want the actual idea to be hers when the time comes."

Hoseok grins. "Elaborate."

"Well," Seokjin says, "for starters, the plan is terrible. Shipping her off to Busan for a week—or whatever the span of a vacation may be—is hardly enough time to turn her into an informant. She is smart enough to know that much. But I will pose it to her that way, insisting Yoongi cannot know, which will force her to stew on it. I know she wants revenge for the recent attack on Jimin at Paradise, and if Shin sends any more men to try to shake us up, it will only fuel her fire."

"And you want her to do this, because...?"

Seokjin chuckles. "Because, my love, Ryujin has always responded best to the friendships and authority of women. As sweet and empathetic as Hyunjin is, she has not gotten as close to him as we hoped. Yoongi's wolf cub, on the other hand, is the perfect bait. Not to mention, she comes from the honey bee ring, which Ryujin will sympathize with."

"And if Ryujin recognizes her from Serendipity?"

Seokjin pouts, sticking his lip out and down-turning his eyes. "Seokie, baby, you pretend I haven't thought of absolutely everything, and it wounds me."

With a roll of his pretty eyes and a soft giggle, Hoseok says, "Then humor me, love."

Seokjin rubs the tip of his nose against Hoseok's, then places a soft kiss, making Hoseok smile widely. "All we have to do is spread a rumor that Yoongi has harmed or upset her in some way. Nothing too damaging to his reputation, just a simple whisper. Ryujin may be hesitant, but, given her feelings about Yoongi, I think she will fall for it."

Hoseok leans in and mimics Seokjin's motion, rubbing their noses together, making Seokjin's heart pound just a little bit harder. "And if Ryujin doesn't believe the rumors? We don't think Yoongi was abusive to her at any point?"

"Not abusive..." Seokjin drifts off, squinting slightly while he chooses his words. "But when his parents died, he went off the deep end with drugs. All the voices have to whisper is the word heroin, and her ears will perk up."

Hoseok purses his lips, thinking over what Seokjin says but looking unconvinced.

"And anyway, she's competitive," Seokjin continues, gently kissing the tip of Hoseok's nose, "even if she doesn't buy the rumor," Seokjin kisses the apple of Hoseok's cheek, "Ryujin might still take her in, thinking she can convert her to actually become part of her family."

"Or, she might kill her," Hoseok responds with a pointed gaze.

Seokjin places a kiss on Hoseok's other cheek as he shrugs. "Sometimes, the cat must wet its feet, no matter its dislike of water, in order to eat fish."

A soft, pretty chuckle comes from Hoseok, who presses his lips against Seokjin's and then mutters, "Idioms to describe a human life, Jinnie bear? Tsk tsk."

Seokjin hums, says, "Sacrifices need to be made for the greater good," and licks over Hoseok's lips until his partner parts them, pulling him into an eager but soft kiss. 

Time comes to a halt in Hoseok's arms, and Seokjin holds him tight, kissing slow and deep, savoring each taste, touch, and sound. There is nothing in the world quite like being in his lover's arms. Even the joy of watching the light die in his enemy's eyes pales in comparison. Seokjin thinks that he would do absolutely anything for Hoseok.

"Join me?" Seokjin asks. "She may be more comfortable with you around; you seem to have made a better impression on her, anyway."

"Fine," Hoseok mutters. "But I do not condone a plan that may get her killed, just so we're clear." Seokjin playfully rolls his eyes, and Hoseok smacks him on the shoulder as he continues, "I do like the idea of her running off to Busan for a while. For her sake and for Yoongi's."

"Oh?" Seokjin asks with a curious cock of the head, studying the microexpressions that tug gently at Hoseok's lips and eyes. To the untrained pupil, one would hardly notice these quirks, but Seokjin sees everything. Hoseok is nervous.

"Namjoon thinks he's becoming unhinged again," Hoseok finally says. "Slipping from reality. He's worried about another bender...so your plan to tell the voices about heroin use seems more grounded in reality than you realize."

"And you think taking her away from him won't just make him worse?" Seokjin teases, bending at the knees to smack a kiss on Hoseok's chin. 

Hoseok nibbles on his bottom lip, considering his words. "I think she needs to spend more time out of the house, and out from under Yoongi's shadow. He is still very controlling, despite her willingness to stay, and whenever she's not directly in his line of sight, he gets paranoid and on edge."

Seokjin mulls it over. "I have noticed he is on edge more when we are away from home for extended periods."

"He needs to break out of that loop. We can't have a mad king on our hands. Especially one who could raze the city to the ground."

"So, we need to somehow get him to grant her more freedom, in a way that does not cause Yoongi to completely lose his shit," Seokjin clarifies.

Hoseok nods. "I'll talk to Namjoon about it."

"Good plan."

And with that, Seokjin presses one more kiss against Hoseok's lips, then releases him, linking their hands together as they make their way out of their bedroom, through the hallway, and down the stairs. 

"And what is our excuse for visiting the mansion?" Hoseok asks as Seokjin sits on a charcoal grey chaise lounge beside the front door, reaching for a pair of black wingtip shoes. Seokjin slides his feet into both and begins tying the laces on one after the other. 

"I am either going to catch Yoongi before he leaves for the day and discuss what he would like me to say to the investors this afternoon," Seokjin sighs, "or I will message to let him know that I was trying to catch him before he left, yadda, yadda, yadda."

As Seokjin stands and rubs his hands over his slacks to straighten them out, Hoseok pulls his black shirt sleeve back to reveal an elegant black timepiece. "He should be home for another fifteen minutes, assuming Namjoon is making him punctual and not late."

With a pleased hum, Seokjin offers an elbow and says, "The weather is nice. Shall we walk?"

The weather truly is beautiful, and the two of them take their time, walking hand in hand along the gravel path. Seokjin does not like to be nostalgic, but it is hard not to smile as he remembers the years spend in this secluded stretch of trees with Hoseok, before there were mansions on the property, and they would steal away to be alone.

As timing will have it, Yoongi and Namjoon are just about to leave when Seokjin and Hoseok arrive. Seokjin can hear the two of them laughing on the other side of the bulletproof door and opts to use the large brass knocker rather than scan his retinas, and all that. 

The door swings open to Namjoon's tired but smiling face, and he walks outside, followed by Yoongi. They are in their standard black outfits, and Yoongi wears a cardigan rather than a blazer. Seokjin wonders what the two of them may be up to; Yoongi only mentioned meeting with some people concerning the mess Jeongguk recently made—which, Seokjin thinks, is a very flippant way to address a killing spree. 

"Gentlemen," Yoongi calls with his arms held wide, "to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Looking sharp, Jin," Namjoon mutters, making Seokjin grin. 

"My reason to visit today is twofold," Seokjin begins. "I was hoping the chef was in so I could have a plate of his fabulous eggs benedict.

"Of course," Yoongi responds with a smile. 

"And, I wanted to let you know that I will be meeting with the Choi brothers about their desire to open a casino near Busan."

Yoongi hums and then nods. "The chef is in, although, I am surprised you haven't perfected the recipe on your own."

With a shrug, Seokjin lies, "There is something about his hollandaise sauce that I cannot quite nail, but he refuses to give me the recipe." 

The truth is that the chef adds horseradish rather than dijon mustard, and just a dash of dried ginger, giving it more of a bite. Seokjin figured it out almost immediately, but he likes that the chef can whip it up on a whim, saving him the trouble of purchasing the ingredients and doing it himself.

"And the men?" Yoongi asks as he reaches into his front pants pocket, pulls out a metal cigarette case, and opens it, revealing a row of perfectly rolled joints. 

"Shall we offer to buy them, or shall we threaten them?" Seokjin simply asks.

With a smirk and a shrug, Yoongi pulls a joint to his lips, muttering, "Offer first, threaten second?"

Seokjin nods, watching as Namjoon pulls a lighter from his pocket and ignites Yoongi's joint, feeling glad that the two of them are finally able to be together once more. Yoongi needs a lapdog more than anything, and Namjoon is the perfect fit. 

"Excellent," Seokjin says with a small bow, "then I will be on my way to the kitchen. Shall I order an extra serving for the wolf cub?"

Yoongi takes a long drag of the joint, holds it in, and then slowly lets it out, creating a plume of skunky smoke between them. "I doubt she'll be up for another hour or so."

Perfect, Seokjin thinks; he actually was hoping to be fed. "Sounds good."

The front door hadn't been closed completely, so Seokjin enters the mansion easily, stepping aside to remove his shoes while Hoseok does the same. They close the door tight and make their way toward the kitchen. 

"You're so hot when you lie," Hoseok mutters, leaning in close enough for Seokjin to smell his cologne.

Seokjin twists and bends to place a kiss on Hoseok's lips, saying, "As are you, my love."

* * *

Despite having to wait more than thirty minutes on the balcony for Yoongi's darling to wake up, Seokjin considers their little meeting a success. He was certainly able to get into her head and could tell she was not ready to completely write off the idea of taking a trip by the time they made their exit, giving him just enough time to get into town on schedule for his meeting.

House of Cards is a raucous place even in the daytime when fewer men are around to throw away their money. The machines ding and play loud soundtracks, and televisions blare with various sport and fighting events. 

Seokjin enters through the main doors after leaving his sedan with valet, and he walks past all the drunks and coke heads with a straight face, making his way to his decoy office on the main floor to meet with some men whom Namjoon claims are going to be good for business if they can manage to keep him on their good side, and bad for business if they do not. 

Frankly, Seokjin could hardly give a fuck about what is good for business—Yoongi has inherited one of the oldest families in Korea, and by far the wealthiest. House of Cards brings in money simply by existing, and he hardly has to do any actual work. The boxing nights were Jeongguk's idea because he likes watching men fight to the death, and the wealth gained from those simply fuels the family's more expensive drug habits. 

The Shins in the east hardly have a stronghold on their own docks, and the Songs in the south are happy to form an alliance when the price is right, showing loyalty to no one but their own pockets.

Rumor has it the Song family turned down the Choi men because they do not wish to be in the business of entertaining tourists, and a casino might bring in the wrong crowds. Let the tourists flock to Jeju, they say, and Seokjin agrees. The Shins, on the other hand, are desperate for anything they can get their fingers on, and more or less offered them a stretch of land. 

All Seokjin has to do is offer the Choi brothers more money and an illusion of influence. Seems like the easiest thing in the world. The only variable he thinks that could possibly make those men want to side with the Shins would be an old family bond or rivalry, and as far as he can tell, these men have neither. So now, all he has to do is meet with them and find out what he can find out. 

Seokjin has a way with men. A look, a gesture, and a veiled threat are all he needs to get them talking. He has no doubt he will be able to make these men sing. 

* * *

Seokjin barely manages to light a cigar before his phone rings. The Choi brothers left mere minutes ago, and Seokjin had been hoping for a moment of alone time, but it is his informant who has been living with the Shin family, which makes this call potentially very important.

"Hyunjin, darling, what's the news?"

Seokjin sits back in his large, black leather chair, listening to the shocks whine as he leans, bending the springs a bit too far. He is in his real office on the second floor, and has a cigar between his teeth, slurring his words around it while he holds his cell phone to his ear. His informant, who works on Ryujin's drug-running team, sighs. 

"She plans to intercept Yoongi's next shipment of pills. Apparently, one of his dock men was bought. A man by the name of Kang Daesung is going to steal the shit."

"Fuckers," Seokjin mutters, spit flying from his lips. He takes a puff from the cigar and holds the smoke in, then lets it out with a bitter huff. It feels lackluster now, and he gently stubs the cigar out on a golden ashtray, then sets it aside to let it extinguish itself the rest of the way. 

Shin has really been coming for the drug operations, which has Seokjin feeling concerned for Jeongguk's safety. And his sanity.

"I am also one of the only people who knows this information, so now that I have passed it along, I have put a target on my back."

Seokjin hums and considers his options. 

"You want to come home, or hop off the peninsula for a while?"

Another sigh comes through the line, and Seokjin gives him time to consider. Hyunjin has been with the Shin family long enough that leaving the country may be his best bet, but he does have a family of his own, which could complicate things. 

When Hyunjin does not respond, Seokjin says, "We can get your little girl into a prestigious American school. Or Australian; there are plenty of Koreans in Australia. And we could assist with getting you and the wife nice jobs." 

"Yeah," Hyunjin says. "Yeah, you're right. I'll think it over and talk to Jisu. Maybe Australia would be good."

"Let me know," Seokjin says as he thumbs through his files, opening a folder that reads "Hwang Hyunjin'' and pulling out documents. "Your passport is current, and I have a burner identity on the books with a line of credit. I can have you on a flight within an hour, any time, day or night, alright?"

"Thank you, Seokjin-ssi."

As they end the call, Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. He hates giving Yoongi bad news. This will also put another man in Jeongguk's crosshairs, and Seokjin really hopes that hunting him down will not also include killing fourteen of this man's closest friends. 

Seokjin dials Yoongi and is surprised he picks up on the first ring. "Jin."

"Yoongichi, bad news." 

Yoongi sighs and hums, and Seokjin continues. "Hwang called. Says Kang is planning to switch teams and sabotage the next shipment of pills."

"She bought him, eh?" Yoongi asks. 

"Yup."

"Fuckers."

"Yup."

"What about Hwang?"

"I offered him an out, and he said he would think about it. Considering Australia."

"Sounds good. I may call everyone to meet later. Taehyung has an engagement until nine, so it will be a late one if I do."

"Alright. I'm headed home soon. Should have my hands full for a few hours, so after nine is perfect."

"Thanks, Jin."

"No problem."

At least Yoongi's tone was pretty flat; no reaction from Yoongi is the best reaction. Especially if Namjoon is worried about him falling off the rails. 

This bump in the road aside, Seokjin considers the day a win, and he lifts his cigar, fits it between his lips, and lights it back up before locking up and heading out.

* * *

Seokjin My winning streak continues. This calls for celebration.

Hoseok In the pink dollhouse room?

Seokjin Of course, baby. Where else?

Hoseok ETA?

Seokjin 1 hour. Going to make a pitstop. I called Puppy, and he will be there in 20.

Hoseok  I'll be home to get our guest ready.

Seokjin Thank you, baby.

Hoseok  Anything for you, Jinnie bear.

To celebrate, Seokjin calls Hyungwon—his and Hoseok's favorite whore—to join them in one of the dollhouse rooms. Hoseok is home to get him ready while Seokjin stops at one of the boutiques to buy him a white leather muzzle that is shaped to fit a dog, with pointed ears on top and a pretty pink bow in the center. 

The pièces de résistance, however, is a bar inside the muzzle for Hyungwon to bite down on, ideally making a mess of himself with drool. 

One of Hyungwon's favorite toys is an anal plug with a long white tail, and Seokjin wants to see him with a pretty new accessory to match it. And, although Seokjin has plenty of items like this in his puppy playhouse room, this muzzle is a gift specifically for his most special whore. He is feeling rather generous tonight.

The drive home is short and sweet, and when Seokjin arrives, he is pleased to see a motorcycle parked in the driveway and light shining through the sheer white curtains of the first room on the second floor, confirming that Hyungwon has, in fact, already arrived, and that Hoseok must be getting him ready. 

Seokjin always finds it incredible how the man can strip down from all his worn, thick leather and stand in the prettiest pink lingerie, and he laments briefly that he was not home to witness the transformation. 

When Jimin first hired Hyungwon at Paradise, Seokjin thought that, perhaps, the heavens had opened up and shined just for him. He has a cold indifference to him that makes Seokjin want to break him apart and make him sob. And he does.

Hyungwon is the only man who allows Seokjin to do every little sadistic thing he desires, then leaves at the end of the session with a soft kiss and a promise to return. Seokjin treasures him dearly. 

Many whores blacklist him for less. 

Of course, now that Jimin has returned to their bed, Hyungwon may have to take second place, but that is a discussion for another time. Seokjin is eager to make Jimin sob again and again, but he worries about coming on too strongly and scaring him off. Jimin has always been quite sensitive, which Seokjin will never understand, but he does his best to respect it.

Seokjin takes his time exiting the car, grabbing the black paper shopping bag with an expensive monogram on all sides. He knows the men have heard his car pull up, and he wants to draw out the anticipation and make them wait. 

Hoseok, in particular, hates to wait. His temper is as explosive as the incendiary devices he so enjoys crafting, and Seokjin takes pleasure in pushing his buttons.

As he punches the hex code of his partner's favorite shade of sunshine yellow into the door and waits for the device to scan his retina, Seokjin takes a deep breath and allows a hint of a smile to creep over his face.

Things within the family have been a bit of a mess lately, but everything seems to be going fairly well, aside from their drug runner turning heel. Men on the lower ranks tend to chase money, after all; they are no stranger to these types of incidents.

If he can ensure the Choi brothers remain loyal and convince Yoongi's darling to leave town for a while, everything might even be perfect for some time. Seokjin hesitates to dwell on the thought.

Once inside, Seokjin closes the front door as quietly as he can and has a seat on his chaise lounge to remove his wingtips one at a time, placing them carefully beside the rows of footwear. Then, he takes the handles of the bag gently in his fingers and creeps up to the second floor, stalking like a tiger in the hope of catching the men off guard. 

He can hear their voices coming from the room, though what they are saying is difficult to make out. Hoseok has an excited lilt to his voice, and Hyungwon is speaking too softly to be detected clearly. Hyungwon is often quite soft-spoken—another thing Seokjin enjoys about him. 

As Seokjin gets to the top of the stairs, he forgets that the landing step is particularly creaky, putting down his weight as the wood whines beneath his toes. He lets out the breath that he had been holding, dropping his head in a defeated sigh as a tuft of brown hair shoots out from the first door on the right, and Seokjin spots his partner. 

"Gotta get that step fixed," Seokjin complains as he straightens his posture and smooths down his burgundy jacket. 

Hoseok grins from ear to ear, and he stands in the doorway to the pink dollhouse room with his hair disheveled and the top four buttons of his dress shirt undone. The sight of exposed sun-kissed skin has Seokjin's heart thudding behind his ribs, and he lifts a brow, playfully assessing the sight. 

"Did my puppies begin without me?" he teases as he approaches with his shoulders hunched forward to give Hoseok the impression that he is stalking his prey.

Hoseok chuckles, and Seokjin can tell he is feeling shy from the accusation as he bites his lip and shakes his head. "Hyungwon messed up my hair because he wanted you to think we had started without you. But we are being good puppies, I promise."

With a hum, Seokjin stalks further, watching Hoseok become increasingly antsy the closer he gets. "And is he all ready for me?"

"He is," Hoseok beams, taking a step back to allow Seokjin to enter the room. 

Seokjin, however, pounces, pressing Hoseok into the far side of the door frame and caging him in with his arms, giving him nowhere to go. With a hand on the dollhouse room wall and the hand holding onto the shopping bag on the hallway wall, Seokjin towers over his partner and gazes down at him hungrily.

"But are you ready for me?"

A silly question, since a stipulation to being Seokjin's lover is to be ready at all times. Hoseok cleans himself every morning, and he inserts a plug every time Seokjin is expected to be home so that there is very little need for prep and Seokjin can take what he wants. 

Of course, Seokjin is no monster; if they are unable to engage in play, Hoseok simply removes the plug—or gets himself off and then removes it—ensuring that it does not stay nestled up inside him long enough to cause any kind of complications or health risks. 

But Seokjin tries to be very clear about his expectations, and they communicate their schedules in order to make sure Hoseok can be ready for him at the drop of a hat. Seokjin's appetite is insatiable, and it is not unusual for them to fuck five or six nights a week. One of the reasons they invite so many whores to play dress up and join them is to give Hoseok a little extra help. That, and whores tend to come pre-used.

A plus side of fucking Jimin back in the day was when he would come home from the club, already stretched from his clients. Even when he would whine about being sore and sensitive, he would be such a good, pliant boy for Seokjin. Not a day goes by that Seokjin doesn't dream about the sweet sounds Jimin would make, becoming an overstimulated, sobbing mess long before either of them would reach their first orgasm. 

Hoseok's smile falters ever so slightly, and Seokjin already knows what he is going to say. He must have assumed that, because they have a guest for the night, Hoseok would not be expected to be stretched. He should know by now that when Seokjin calls with good news, that a victory fuck is in order, whether or not they are tending to a guest for the evening. 

And this, Seokjin thinks, is the danger of falling in love. Years ago, Seokjin would plot ways to punish his puppy for being so short-sighted and disobedient. But now? Staring into his deep brown eyes, downturned beneath a knit brow, all Seokjin wants to do is kiss him and tell him everything will be alright. His heart has become soft. 

Before Hoseok can excuse his bad behavior, Seokjin plants a soft smooch on the tip of his nose and grins. "I'm kidding," he assures softly. 

"You're not," Hoseok groans as relief paints his face. 

"I'm not," Seokjin admits, taking a step back and allowing Hoseok to breathe. "But I am in too good of a mood to make you cry."

"Lucky me," Hoseok teases with a wink. 

Seokjin leans in and places a kiss on Hoseok's forehead, then enters the room. The walls are all painted cotton candy pink, and there is a large bed on the left with plush pink bedding and a white wrought iron sleigh frame with beautiful spiral designs at the head and foot—perfect for attaching restraints. 

Hoseok's favorite addition to the room is a pale pink sex swing that hangs from the center of the space, with vines wrapped around the long arms that stretch to the ceiling. Seokjin is partial to the vanity with a large mirror that is very sturdy and perfect for humiliation play. 

The wooden furniture and wainscoting are all painted pink with gold accents, the floor is covered in pink carpeting and large, white cloud-shaped rugs, and every light fixture is a giant, white orb. In the corner of the room furthest from the bed is a chair in the shape of a giant pink high-heel, and when Seokjin enters, that is where he finds their guest. 

Hyungwon is breathtaking in sheer pink babydoll lingerie with little ruffled sleeves that hang from his shoulders, and a skirt that falls just above his thighs. He reclines on the shoe chair with one knee bent, bare foot adorned with pretty silver chains and rings, perched delicately atop the chair, and the other leg down, spread slightly to accommodate for the chair's width. His hair is long enough to be styled behind his ears—straight and black as a raven's feather—and he wears a thick silver choker of shimmering zirconias and a glittery lip balm.

"Master Seokjin," Hyungwon states as he moves from his reclined position—which Seokjin assumes he only sat in to be a tease, in the first place—and slowly lifts his leg, leaning forward and getting onto his hands and knees. "You look ravishing tonight, sir."

Seokjin turns to Hoseok with a puzzled expression, then back to Hyungwon, "Baby, did you give our pet permission to speak?"

"I did not, sir," Hoseok responds simply, standing near the wall with his arms flat at his sides. "But you do look ravishing tonight, sir."

How in the world Seokjin wound up with two disobedient puppies, he will never know, but he cannot bring himself to be upset when they are so devastatingly pretty and so good to him. Seokjin reaches to tap the underside of Hoseok's chin with the pad of his finger—a playful gesture that also tells him to keep that gorgeous fucking mouth of his closed unless he is asked to open it.

Hoseok smiles, winks, and does not say another word.

"I got you something," Seokjin beams as he turns back to Hyungwon, closing the gap between them. 

He reaches into the bag, pulls out the leather dog muzzle, and holds it up. Hyungwon's eyes widen, and a soft smile plays on his lips. If the man truly is excited, Seokjin has no idea; all he cares about is that he acts the part, as he is paid to do. And Hyungwon, as always, is a brilliant performer.

* * *

The shower down the hall in the guest bathroom runs as Seokjin pushes a hand through his hair, walking from the dollhouse room to his bedroom. His cream shirt is unbuttoned and hung open, burgundy pants are undone, and he is covered in a sheen of sweat. 

Hyungwon practically needed to be carried away when Seokjin was finished with him, and Hoseok is currently assisting with washing him and tending to his various marks with creams. Seokjin was not too hard on him, but his nails did break skin a couple of times, and he spanked him until both cheeks were tomato red. 

Although it is getting late, Yoongi has called to request everyone to congregate at the mansion at the top of the hour. It gives Seokjin thirty-five minutes to change into a black dress shirt and slacks and see that Hyungwon is able to get home on his own or has a suitable bed to sleep in for the night. Ordinarily, Seokjin is not as kind to his whores, but after what he did to the guy's ass, he takes pity on him for driving out on a motorcycle. 

The sound of the shower shutting off is followed by muffled voices, and Seokjin shrugs out of his shirt, dropping it into a hamper near the closet door, and grabs a black shirt from a hanger. He attempts to listen for the men—to get a sense of whether or not Hyungwon will need to stay—but all he can make out is Hoseok's bright, happy laughter. 

Seokjin loves it when Hoseok laughs loud and unabashedly. It rings like music to his ears. 

"Baby?" Hoseok calls down the hallway. 

Seokjin takes a step out of the closet as he buttons his shirt and shouts, "Bedroom," then returns to the racks of clothing and wiggles out of his slacks, picking them up and placing them into the hamper, and then reaching for a black pair to slide into.

"Ah," Hoseok says as he rounds the corner and finds Seokjin dressed in all black. "Yoongi called."

"He did," Seokjin responds. 

"For all of us?"

"For all of us."

"Hyungwon should be good to drive, but I'll go check on him."

Seokjin flashes Hoseok a smile. "Thank you, love."

Once he is ready, Seokjin switches off the light and exits his and Hoseok's massive closet, then he leaves the bedroom and makes his way down the hall, to the pink dollhouse room. The dark wood wainscoting and blood-red walls adorned with pretty brass sconces is such an abrupt change of scenery compared to the pink playroom, and from time to time, it makes Seokjin chuckle softly when he leaves one atmosphere for the other. 

Hyungwon sits on the edge of the bed dressed in blue jeans, a blue and white flannel shirt, and a black leather jacket, with his hands in his lap. Hoseok stands before him, dabbing a salve to his lip, which Seokjin split from slapping a little too hard once the muzzle came off. To Seokjin's credit, Hyungwon was the one who begged him to hit him harder. 

As Seokjin enters, both men turn to him with smiles, and Seokjin leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"How is our puppy feeling?"

"Amazing," Hyungwon responds, always saying so no matter which state he seems to be in. 

"Good. And I take it your ass isn't too sore for the bike?"

Hoseok shoots Seokjin an incredulous glare, which he pointedly ignores. 

Hyungwon chuckles quietly. "No, sir. Not too sore."

"Good. I will be downstairs, then." He turns his gaze to Hoseok. "Join me soon?"

Hoseok nods and screws the cap on his balm, then leans to place a soft kiss on Hyungwon's forehead as Seokjin takes his leave and goes downstairs, to the kitchen, to have a few shots of whiskey before heading out to Yoongi's place. 

It does not take long for the others to join him, and they bid Hyungwon farewell with kisses to his cheeks and forehead, then link hands and take the long way to Yoongi's property, up toward Taehyung's place and cutting through the gardens. It is eerie out here at night with low lighting and tall, dark shadows. They walk all the way around the mansion, to the front door, and find Taehyung and Jeongguk on the stoop, smoking a cigarette.

"Fellas," Seokjin calls, and everyone lifts their hand hello.

"Is it just us?" Hoseok asks, and Taehyung shakes his head, saying, "Jimin is inside."

Seokjin takes a puff from Taehyung's cigarette, then goes inside, happy to find Jimin and Namjoon seated on the couch as he takes his place on the far end. Seokjin assumes Yoongi would be upstairs and is surprised to see him enter through the front door with Taehyung and Jeongguk. Once they are all seated, Yoongi begins. 

"We have two orders of business, which are somewhat related. The first is that Jeonggukie has been working with a team to formalize a new type of ecstasy that contains amphetamines, to give the user more of an upper-type high. It will be smoother than the shit the Americans sell, which contain meth, and the users will crave the experience, ideally getting them hooked on it."

This news comes as somewhat of a surprise to Seokjin, but he does not show it, keeping his expression stoic. He is curious when Yoongi decided to pivot into selling drugs for the purpose of creating addicts, and thinks perhaps the man really is losing his mind. He sounds like his late father, which is no compliment.

Yoongi continues. "So far, the trials have been pretty positive, and we should have those on the streets within the next month, or so. Let Jeongguk know if you would like samples."

Yoongi sits up and sighs, "And for our second order of business, it seems our main dock man Kang has been bought, and he plans to fuck with our next shipment of pills. I will be orchestrating a hit some time this weekend."

"I can go," Jeongguk offers, and Seokjin is pleased when Yoongi holds his hand up, turning him down.

"I need you to stay here this weekend. I want us to start going to the range again, and there are some other things I want you around for. I'll put Changkyun on the job."

Jeongguk opens his mouth to complain, and Yoongi cuts him off. "Ggukie, we have men hired to carry out hits. Let me utilize them."

Silence falls, then Namjoon clears his throat. "Is there anything anyone else would like to share?"

Seokjin cannot believe everyone was called over for this, and he crosses his arms over his chest and glances around. When nobody says anything, he shrugs and says, "Guess that's it."

"Alright," Yoongi says as he slaps his palms over his knees and stands with a sigh. "I thought this would be more of a conversation, but it seems pretty cut and dry. Thanks for coming by."

Seokjin studies Yoongi as he stands, curious about what Namjoon sees that makes him so paranoid. There are bags under his eyes, and he seems quite tired, but he does not seem jittery or pale, or any of the other symptoms Seokjin tries to remember from his last bender. 

It could be his more recent shift in seeming colder than usual. Prior to the pet moving in upstairs, Yoongi even went so far as to have a nasty little violent streak. Still, violence is not an indicator of drug abuse.

Yoongi has always been good at hiding shit until it is really bad, however, and he has always been quite unreadable, wearing parts of himself on his sleeve while keeping the rest locked away. He hopes that Namjoon's suspicions are false, but nobody would know better than him.

With that, everyone stands to leave, including Yoongi. In fact, the only person who seems to hang back is Namjoon. They say good night, everyone begins to head back to their homes, and Namjoon locks up the mansion as Yoongi slides his hands into his pockets and sets off in the direction of Namjoon's home.

Something is definitely amiss, but Seokjin does not feel like asking. The warmth of Hoseok's hand pulls him from his thoughts as he is tugged in the direction of home.

When they return from the meeting that could have been a conversation via group text, Seokjin sits with a huff on his chaise lounge. He bends his leg to lift it in order to untie his shoe, but Hoseok drops to his knees and places a hand on Seokjin's foot, guiding it to the floor. 

"You seem off, baby," Hoseok mutters sweetly. "Let me take care of you."

With an affectionate smile, Seokjin crosses his arms over his chest and lets his posture droop in a sigh. "Always taking care of others."

Hoseok's eyes shine as he mutters, "I live to serve."

Seokjin chuckles and sits up straight as Hoseok removes one shoe, then the other, and places them neatly aside. "We both know that is untrue."

"Yes," Hoseok responds, also laughing. 

Seokjin leans forward, takes Hoseok's chin in his hand, and pulls him close. Hoseok strains to get near enough, sitting high on his knees, but Seokjin stays just out of reach as he says, "You can still take care of me, though."

He revels in the way Hoseok's tone drops as he asks, "And how would you like me to do that, baby?"

Seokjin begins to think of all the ways he would like to make Hoseok whine, but Hoseok continues, "It's been a while since you've submitted to me and completely let go of control."

It has been a while. Probably months. Seokjin mulls it over with a squint of his eyes. There is nothing in this world that he likes more than pulling sweet sounds from Hoseok's lips, but he knows that Hoseok also enjoys being in control. However, relinquishing power does not come easily to a man like Seokjin.

"You are correct," Seokjin finally responds. "It has been a while."

Hoseok's eyes glimmer with mirth, and even if Seokjin had not been considering it before, he would certainly cave now. With a nibble of his bottom lip, Seokjin leans close enough to kiss Hoseok. 

"I'll let you fuck me tonight. Give me twenty minutes to get ready?"

With a pout, Hoseok shakes his head. "I want to get you ready."

"Oh?"

"Please."

"Enema play, Seok? Really?"

Hoseok shrugs. "I want to watch you tremble and whimper as the water falls out."

Seokjin, admittedly, gets it. "Alright, let's go."

Hoseok is gentle as he takes Seokjin's hand and leads him up the stairs and down the hall to their master suite. He is gentle as he undresses him and leads him to their shower. Gentle when he bends Seokjin over—hands splayed on the white tile bench that runs along one wall—and inserts the nozzle of the enema. Seokjin gasps from the sensation; he hasn't done this in quite a while.

When Hoseok takes Seokjin by the hair and lifts his head, pulling him into a standing position, he is less gentle. Lifting the bag, which is full of tepid water, so that it can enter his body makes Seokjin gasp, sending a shudder through him. 

Hoseok holds his chin, firm and not very gently as he says, "Eyes on me," and slowly pulls the nozzle out, releasing the water to the floor of the shower. 

Seokjin keeps his eyes on Hoseok as the water rushes from him, a sensation that he thinks should not be in the least bit erotic. Hoseok knows that this is mildly humiliating, which, Seokjin thinks, is the reason he is insisting on it. 

Hoseok inserts the nozzle two more times, sending water rushing from Seokjin's rectum, holding him in place while they stare into one another's eyes. Warmth covers Seokjin's face in a mix of embarrassment and arousal, and when Hoseok bends him back over right there in the shower to eat him out, Seokjin practically blacks out. 

"Fuck, feels so good," he whimpers as Hoseok teases his hole with his tongue, circling the rim and prodding inside. 

"You like it, baby?" Hoseok groans, biting Seokjin's buttcheek and circling a finger over him, gently pushing inside and pulling out, making Seokjin sigh and tremble from pleasure-pain. 

"You know I do," Seokjin whines.

Hoseok groans. "Too bad I won't let you cum until you're begging and sobbing."

Evil. Pure fucking evil. Hoseok loves making someone like Seokjin beg. He whimpers before he can stop himself, and Hoseok chuckles and crashes a hand over his ass with a loud, wet smack.

"Come on, big boy," Hoseok sing-songs "Let's tie you to the bed and make you scream."

Seokjin already fears for his life, knowing that Hoseok will edge him for hours. But the earth-shattering orgasm that tears his world asunder, followed by Hoseok's sweet, pretty smile, makes everything worth it. How could he possibly resist?

*

THANK YOU FOR READINGGG!!!

i didn't give Hyungwon a relationship tag since he's not a main character in the story, nor does he appear again. for those of you who aren't monbebe, this is the man i was talking about:

i also remember being too exhausted to write a smut scene when i was putting this POV together, which is why we don't get to experiencing these three together hahaha. i think i wrote Hoseok and Seokjin back to back.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD OF THIS SITE, BUT LIKES ARE ALSO SUPER APPRECIATED!!! THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one! if you would like to be tagged in this fic, please let me know!!! 💜💜💜

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[onlymurdersinthebuildingreblogs]

Only Murders In the Building Season Four Finale Thoughts While Watching

WARNING SPOILERS FOR ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING SEASON THREE FINALE AND SEASON FOUR!!!!!! INCLUDING THE KILLER! AVOID IF YOU ARE NOT THAT FAR INTO THE SERIES, IF YOU AREN'T YOU BETTER, IT IS SO GOOD!

Note: I lost track of the day of the week and didn't realize the episode had aired until I was in bed.

Pre-Watching:

I wonder if the plot holes Sazz had found were unrelated to her murderer, Marshall/Rex. Set up for the next season.

I hope Theo appears, I really like his character. I also think he's good for Mabel.

I'd also like to see Lucy. I really liked her character.

Watching:

1:07-1:27 -- Oh, so they have filmed for Brazzos!? At least, Sazz got some more time with Charles.

1:16 -- "TAP IN!"

1:27 -- Isn't Sazz a little too old for stunts like that? Jane Lynch is 64 years old.

1:46 -- Osteoporosis! That sounds like a disease. Is that a disease!? (One Google Search Later) Google: "Osteoporosis is a bone disease that weakens bones, making them more likely to break. Osteoporosis occurs when the body breaks down more bone than it replaces, causing bones to become less dense and more porous. This makes bones more fragile and susceptible to fractures, even from minor bumps or falls. Osteoporosis is often called a 'silent disease' because people may not notice any symptoms until they break a bone. Osteoporosis is the leading cause of broken bones in older people and postmenopausal women." Me: YEAH, APPARENTLY SHE IS! "MINOR BUMPS OR FALLS"!? SHE JUST DID A FLIP AND JUMPED FROM A STORY-TALL BUILDING! "I'M GOOD"!? DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT!?

2:10 -- "Hey, Sazz, you okay!?" Aw, at least, Charles is making sure she's okay, even if she's kind of lying to him. She's making sure he's okay.

3:06-3:14 -- Not related but accent letter choices, why can't they have that on laptop keyboards, instead you have to know like shortcuts and then some laptops don't have those shortcut buttons. Like my old laptop had a numeric keypad so if I wanted to do the em dash, I would hold "alt" then push 0151, but my new laptop keyboard doesn't, so I can't make that dash and I use it more than you think. Look at the lazy double dashes, I've put.

3:18-3:27: "Every time we solve a murder that's when the next body drops. It's like when one murder door closes, someone we know either gets stabbed, poisoned, or shot." I guess that's kind of true? Jan stabbed herself and then poisoned you. "Glitter Guy" attacked Mabel and she stabbed him like the awesome girl she is. (I would say bad*** but I don't like to curse. So what's the age-appropriate way to say that?) Charles pretended to be stabbed by Alice. I don't actually think that happened last season though. There was when Donna poisoned Ben and nearly killed him and then Cliff pushed him down. I guess, Cliff nearly committed suicide. Also he already killed Glen.

3:28-3:35 -- "Why would you say that? You know my wedding is tomorrow. Loretta's on her way now, here to the murder building." That didn't occur to you when you picked this place as the place your wedding would take place at? Your podcast is called "Only Murders in the Building".

4:02 -- It's always kind of annoying when the villain is like "do this or I'll kill you" like they're not going to do that anyways.

4:15 -- Oh, I'm so hoping Mabel beats him up! She is not the kind of woman you want to mess with!

7:02-7:27 -- They're gonna go on the ledge. I don't like height so I don't think this is going to go well for Charles.

7:47 -- Oh! Nope! Nope! Too high! Too high!

10:20 -- I know the feeling! Every time I'm on a high place, I feel like I'm tipping forwards. Ever since when I was around eight, when I was on top of a lighthouse, looking down over the railing and my brother picked me up to take a picture without telling me and I suddenly felt like I was somehow falling over the ledge and I started panicking and he had to put me down before he dropped.

10:54 -- "Are you on this ledge, because I'm moving to New Zealand?"

11:52 -- And now they're dancing on a thin ledge several stories up.

11:55 -- How is no one seeing them? I once sat on the window sill of a second story building and apparently someone called the cops because of that!?

12:22-12:45 -- Marshall, you're doing a terrible job at being causal. You're switching accents from southern to Scottish.

12:49 -- Vince and Rudy are barley doing a better job. "Whatever you have is what we're looking for."

18:46 -- "I'm gonna fly to New York to see Charles make his Broadway debut." Aw. I never actually considered the though that she had seen the play.

22:05 -- Oh, she knew Charles would find him!

23:07 -- Jan to the rescue!? Didn't see that coming! I thought it'd be Rudy or Vince.

28:40 -- Finally, Will comes back! And oh, Dickie, I didn't expect to see you, I forgot about him.

32:07 -- Is Uma going to be the next victim?

32:14-32:54 -- Season five set up?

32:32 -- What did Nicky have to do with the building?

32:54 -- Oh, Sophia's going to be the next body, isn't she?

34:32 -- There's blood coming out of the water fountain's mouth.

34:48 -- LESTER!?

35:10 -- "72 emergencies ahead of you" Are you kidding me!? No wonder podcasters are the only ones who seem to be able to catch killers!

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Brotherhood, Pt. 5

We cut to the following day where we find McKay, Allina and Sheppard on an excavation with the others further away. It's not early morning so again, we are missing time from between the two scenes. Maybe Sheppard and McKay discussed it further, maybe they didn't, but here we find Valentino "more on his game". Which is to say, seemingly crashing and burning.

The previous night, McKay accidentally let it slip to her that they are not Atlanteans or descendants of the Ancestors like she had thought, but that they had come from Earth only a little while ago. Or he just straight up told her the truth, never having intended to lead them astray. Either way, it's this discovery that has changed her disposition toward McKay, not anything he did or is doing here.

As mentioned previously, her whole life has been dedicated to the service of the Ancestors and it seems like it was as the representative of Atlantis that she was crushing on McKay, not as an actual human being. Given that she got a version of Best Behaviour Rodney, she doesn't even really know what he is like. And now that it appears these newcomers have just taken on the mantle of the Ancestors undeservingly, she's not as keen on him (she, of course, does not know that Earth is the First World from which the Lanteans had originally come to this galaxy and to where they eventually returned so there is an argument to be made for their rightful inheritance of Atlantis, but that's besides the point).

The mainstream interpretation is that McKay is trying to score now that he thinks Allina wants him, the incorrigible hound dog that he is, and that Sheppard is watching him crash and burn from the background to amuse himself. Sure, Jan. Sure.

He might be failing because he is simply inept at talking to women and doesn't know what he's doing, but alternatively he's failing on purpose. And if he's failing on purpose, there might be any number of reasons for it, starting from the fact that she's an alien from an underdeveloped society, they're on a job that's pretty important and it would be morally dubious to start romancing what is actually pretty close to being an alien priestess, as he himself pointed out just a while ago. To belabour a point, McKay displayed zero interest in this woman the day before when they spent all of it on a dig together. She barely interested him enough to look at her. He had to be told that she has a crush on him. He had to be told what to do about it. It's much more likely that his attempt to engage here was designed to fail, whether on purpose or subconsciously. And looking at the dialogue, on purpose seems to be the name of the game.

McKay has obviously chosen a moment when they have some privacy to initiate this discussion. And Sheppard's presence, to him, seems to count as having privacy. It's either that he wants and prefers for Sheppard to be there, or he does not mind that Sheppard is there. Either way, Sheppard seems real interested in how this is going to go down. He's clearly willing to jump in as needed even if you interpret him as just wanting McKay to strike out because he's being a dick, or what ever the mainstream interpretation is. Fact is, what they're doing on this planet is way too important for Sheppard to be dicking around just 'cause, so it's much more likely he is doing this for an actual reason like to help the man who asked for his help last night.

McKay and Allina are looking over the stones:

Allina: It doesn't look much like a map. I guess I was wrong. McKay: Mm, possibly. Although, um, well, you know, just because you originally thought it was a map doesn't make your initial assumption bad or incorrect. Well, incorrect, yes, but it was a good guess. Allina: I'm sorry? McKay: You're… very, very smart, and, uh… and attractive and whatnot, and, um… You've got a lot of things going for you even when things don't— Allina: Is everything all right? McKay: Everything's great. Everything's really… Why wouldn't it be?

She's pretending like she hadn't been throwing herself at him previously. It's not in response to his approach, it's in response to his accidental confession last night. But the thing is, McKay isn't even hitting on her. He calls her attractive and smart, yes, but that reads a lot more like someone trying to let a person down easy. He tells her, you've got a lot going for you. He is trying to be kind. Yes, he's embarrassed to be doing this because having this kind of conversation is mortifying (and were it not for Sheppard, he wouldn't be doing this; and that's a fact regardless of how you interpret their relationship). He also doesn't actually think she's smart, not in the way that matters. For one, we can compare this with him finding out about Sheppard's Mensa test later. Sheppard being able to solve a puzzle that he couldn't means something to him.

He looks at Sheppard as he's trying to think of what to say to her. To make sure he's not watching him making an ass of himself? Maybe. But he has to look at Sheppard before he can come up with something to tell her. He glances at Sheppard, and then comes up with "You're very very smart, and attractive".

Both are things that Sheppard is, very smart and attractive. John Sheppard has a lot of things going for him. Why do you have to look at your man to be able to come up with something nice to say to a woman? Besides which, they look awfully similar.

And further, we've seen how he behaves around smart women. The smarter they are, the more condescending he is. If he thinks that you are smart, he will try to make you feel dumb because he has poor self-esteem and because intellect has been his battle field. It does not seem like he comes from a wealthy family which means that he has had to fight to earn his place in Academia. He has had to prove that he is the smartest (and hence, that other people are less smart) to get scholarships, to get his foot in the door. He thinks she's smart like a golden retriever, not smart in the sense that she should ever challenge him in any way that matters.

He just does not care about women enough to see them as distinct personalities that might require individual approaches. He's also saying that her initial assumption, that he would be interested in her, was incorrect. He's flattered, sure, but not into her like that.

Sheppard, who has been symbolically between them the whole time, comes to his rescue. He steps in because he can see by the way McKay is using his hand that he is getting agitated which just, again, is a testament to how well he knows him. And Sheppard gets him off the hook by changing the subject:

Sheppard: You're sure we're in the right place? We've almost doubled the size of the dig site, and we haven't found anything yet.

He's not making fun of McKay. He is playing it perfectly straight, like he saw nothing going on, nothing out of the ordinary. It's all business up in here. And McKay seems relieved because figuring things out, trying to solve something is so much more up his alley--and this is also the reason why Sheppard approached him with a question in the first place. He knows engaging McKay's mind is the best way to help him get over his agitation. We see Sheppard do this continuously, consistently, over the seasons. Here, he's not doing it because they're in some kind of trouble, he's doing it out of kindness.

Relevant to what happens next, we see Sheppard look McKay in the eye and wrap his lips around his canteen while holding it in a firm grip. There are so many suggestive shots in this episode.

They discover an entrance leading underground, a hole in the ground, as it were. McKay is mirroring Sheppard in case anyone had any doubt where his physical interest lies.

What they uncovered is supposed to be the "forbidden chamber" to which only brothers (of the Brotherhood) should enter. That also seems awfully suggestive but the killer is McKay's next line:

McKay: So, who wants to go first? Seems sort of like a Sheppard thing.

Going down first seems sort of like a Sheppard thing. Going down first seems like the sort of thing that Sheppard would do.

Now, the thing is, McKay intends no double entendre, he's not making innuendo. He only means to say that Sheppard is the dashing heroic type. He thinks that what ever is down there, Sheppard would be the best and most capable person there to face it first. He's saying that going down a dark hole freaks him out enough that he certainly does not want to go first, and he would feel much better if Sheppard went in first to make sure that there is nothing dangerous down there.

But Sheppard certainly hears a double entendre. You can see it on his face. We have already seen that he appreciates innuendo (cf. Hide and Seek, S01E03), cannot resist the opportunity to turn something into a sexual reference. Jesus Christ, McKay. They were supposed to be being careful, keeping a low profile. Not making jokes about him eating dick right there out in the open.

He appreciates a good dick pun especially because he clearly likes thinking about dicks (I refer you to the time he canonically cannot take his eyes off of a whale dick pic in Echoes, S03E12) but this is awfully bold of McKay. But note that while he looks up at McKay, he doesn't protest, at all. So he likes dick. So he's enthusiastic when going down on a guy. So McKay knows this about him. He'll go down to the forbidden chamber of the brotherhood first but he probably has to bite down on his tongue not to make a more obvious reference in response. There are times for escalating and this isn't it.

Sheppard is on his goddamn knees while this goes down. McKay makes a reference to Sheppard going down first while the man is on his knees in front of him, looks up at him from that position. So that's a thing that actually happened on this show.

Continued in Pt. 6

[khaopybara]

Ok so we are in agreement that may definitely knows that ai-oon is not oom right? Like even if she somehow managed to avoid seeing the news of the accident our girl oon is NOT doing well acting like someone may has/had been dating lol.

But also I love them so i am more than willing to turn a blind eye to all the sus behavior 😆

ALSO we finally got PhimPang and they are ICE COLD!! I wanted to like Pang soo much because of ciize but Pang is the WORST! I was so mad when she pull oon away from may so that she could basically make sure that May was blind. WHO DOES THAT!? 🤬🤬🤬 i know we’re only on ep 2 but at this point i am all for PhimJan!

Really i am praying to the GL gods for a true triangle! Give me PhimPangJan or give me death!

AND ANOTHER THING that grandma is on thin ice

Ok what else….planetarium dates was adorbs and the the cockroach scene had me dying 😭

-🤫

miss famous lawyer who's studying to enhance human rights and went to a meeting in geneva to create a roadmap to help with her mission most definitely knows something is up. i think i got spoiled about this whole situation, but i'm not 100% sure how trustworthy people's vague commentaries and my deduction skills are. either way, oon is now the love of my life. she is adorable and she needs a very tight and good hug, and for now, may seems like she's doing it quite well (tho i must admit, my heart hurts for oon every time may calls her oom).

LISTEN! i love my girl ciize. i adored her as alpha in 23.5, and i was so looking forward to see her in pluto (still am, don't get me wrong, i think this plot line will give us so much), but from the moment ciize said, yeah you know, pang has had this crush on oon since forever but never made a move bc she didn't know oon liked women, too, but now that she knows that's an option for her, you know, she might go for it. never mind this relationship i have with this other stunning officer who lives with me. it's like having war flashbacks of raymew in only friends, tho they are very different characters in very different circunstancies.

the thing about pang tho is that she's very logical. ep 1 pang telling oon, hey girl, i know a lot has happened in the last week of your life, but you're really taking the side of a girl found out existed just the other day and you met literally once. get a grip. iconic behaviour. i was saying the same thing. but ep 2 pang make me feel she does all of that out of misplaced jealousy and sense of ownership over oon's time and presence which is not really nice. i hope we get to see more of the phimpangjan triangle thing soon, because as i said, it's gonna be juicy~ (also, jan is so much more loyal and driven than i thought she would be. from the pilot trailer, i thought she'd be just a jealous wine lady who'd get in between kapookciize, but she's sweet so far).

grandma clearly has favorites (or so we think. at least this part of the story is from oon's perspective, after all, and we know we can be biased when telling a story), but @suppaloscurse talked about it in this post and i agree with a lot of that. oon not only is the older twin, she's also the one who needed to be strong and support her younger sister. it's not fair of grandma to pick favorites so blatantly, but i feel like it's what oon has always expected. she was sidelined bc her sister's fragile health, oom went to a private school, and then as adults, oom became a flight attendant while oon works in delivery (pls know i'm not putting more value in one more than the other) and then, also married rich. namtan talked about how grandma is pivotal in oom's story and is the reason for the granddaughter's growth, so i'm looking forward to figure that relationship out, too.

also, THE SAPPHICS OWN THE SPACE. THAI GLS TAUGHT ME SO. and, props to the cockroach that gave us the classic falling on top of you scene. i've said this during ploy's yearbook when namtanfilm's character found themselves in a similar predicament that if they were dudes, they would have kissed on the lips back then, and we almost had it in today's episode. fingers crossed i still can get my cliche from them.

[camrensrealbish]

Hello, hope you are doing well, I have a theory.

Remember when Camila said she had sex for the first time with that old dumbfuck idiot?(LMFAO). Anyways, this makes sense. Not because it is true of course not, it’s false because 1) that was PR 2) Camila will never fall for his dumbass 3) Camren was actually together during the PR ( AMA, 2018! And number of indirects which were not coincidental) 4) this is subjective because I believe Camila is a lesbian. It makes sense because the narrative made by her team is that she was never in love before Matthew and then again changed it to Shawn( lmfao, they can’t keep it consistent) C being a romantic hopeless fell in love with Matthew and “gave her virginity to him” (🤮) and then she always had a crush on Shawn and ended up being with him after dumping Matthew. That didn’t work out, she tried to move on with a dude who made an app or something (don’t know don’t care) Shawn and C tried again didn’t work out again because he is a person who needs help( lmfao, he does need help with singing especially) and now is in a era of basically just being happy with herself and exploring.

Now, this is interesting(I think), basically the narrative is saying she didn’t explore her sexuality until she was 20( funny how it also destroy the myth of those leaked texts between her and Michael from 5sos) this could be potentially used when she will come out of the closet. Saying, “ I am exploring my sexuality now and I discovered I like women too so I am bi/ pan(whatever her team thinks suits her better)” this also just proves( at least for the GP) there was nothing between Camren back in the band days (sure, Jan), leading to the future where they could come out as a couple without exposing their past. (If they are still together) . I believe this for one more reason as recently in an interview, Lauren said “I was the only queer in the group….AS FAR AS I KNOW” I think it is self explanatory why that is important. Another thing is how much Gaymila has been out. I could be wrong, but then again nothing is coincidence with these two. What do you think?

😅😅 he does need help with singing especially 😭

I love you 😅

Thanks for submitting this, I had a great time reading it. And yes, I think your theory is correct.

Speaking of one more thing that doesn't make sense in this timeline, Camila wrote "Camila" before Matthew. She sings about sex there, and not in a metaphorical sense or whatever nonsense they are trying to call it now, and I'm pretty sure she was talking about it in interviews at the time (Zach Sang interview if I'm not mistaken).

Coming back to your ask, they've been covering the grounds in case she decides to come out one day since 2019. They can keep advising her against it, but ultimately they can't stop her from coming out if she decides to do soq. So they made sure it doesn't turn against them (Epic, managers, etc.) when she does. Lauren saying multiple times by now that there might be other 5H members who weren't queer back then but might be now (literally why would you say that 😅) is a big clue for us that they're planning for this eventuality that Camila might come out.

I think she's a lesbian too, but if/when she does come out it will be as bi, to fit all her PRs and everything people know about her so far into this story. And this way it's less risky too, because it doesn't alienate straight people as much 🙄. They really care about seeing themselves represented in media 🙄🙄🙄.

The thing is, I'm not so certain she wants to come out anymore. She definitely doesn't seem as keen on it as she used to be. But I truly hope she does one day, simply because I'd like to see it 🥹.

[tornadotree]

What I think the casualty characters feel about football

Since casualty is not on tonight, here’s what I headcanon the characters feel about football because I have THOUGHTS!!!

Ian

Proper footie fan.

Absolutely loves football.

Feel like he supports Sheffield Wednesday and has a season ticket, even if he can’t go to many games because of work.

Will try and travel to Sheffield to see them at home.

Always makes sure to catch up on results and watch bits of the matches whilst at work.

Loves the England national team.

Absolutely singing Sweet Caroline and Mr Brightside all night long.

Tries to like the women’s teams but just doesn’t have the same passion for it as he does the men’s.

Will absolutely slander someone if they slagged off the women’s game though.

Prefers women’s national football to women’s club football.

Tries to play FIFA but struggles…a lot.

Jan

Supports the men and women’s Welsh national team and that’s it.

Does not care for any other football.

Loves Gareth Bale and owns a Welsh shirt with his name on.

Started crying when Wales made the semi-finals of the Euros in 2016.

She came into work the next day hungover for the first and only time.

Hates Ronaldo.

Teddy

A Manchester United fan.

Cried when Sir Alex Ferguson left.

Football massively affects his mood.

If his team does badly in a match (very common with Man Utd) you will hear about it from him.

He will spend the next day arguing about it with whoever (more like ranting).

Alternatively, if his team does well, he will be on a high all day.

Started watching women’s football when the Manchester United Women’s team was created.

He grew to love them just as much as the men’s team.

He supports the men and women’s Welsh and England national teams but prefers the Welsh teams.

Loves talking about the Wales teams with Jan.

They both sing the Welsh national anthem together whenever Wales are playing in a major tournament.

Prefers the women’s England team over the men’s England team.

Has fantasy premier league. He tried to teach Ian about it but his old ass did not get it.

Plays FIFA and football manager games.

Has a bunch of obscure football games on his phone that he plays when he is bored.

Jacob

Casual football fan.

Supports both men and women’s Chelsea.

Cares less for national football.

Doesn’t get heavily invested, so if his team fumbles something he doesn’t get majorly upset.

Likes to play fantasy premier league after Teddy taught him about it.

Plays FIFA.

Dylan

Does not care for football.

Will drop random obscure football facts casually in conversations when football is being discussed.

Likes to weigh in on VAR decisions.

Probably really good at football manager games.

Hates England fans.

Stevie

Does not care for football.

However, she does make a point to say she supports BOTH the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland because she believes in Irish reunification.

This usually leads onto a long speech about the Irish political landscape.

Will deck someone if they start slagging off the women’s game.

Gets irrationally annoyed when Americans call it ‘soccer.’

Faith

Hates football with a passion.

Loves to absolutely shit on Scottish fans when they get their hopes up and said hopes are inevitably and quickly destroyed.

Is more lenient with the women’s game but still hates it with a passion.

Always, without fail, asks why the women’s shorts are so short whenever women’s football is on or being discussed.

Her kids made her play FIFA once and she ended up scoring five own goals in one match.

Calls football ‘soccer’ to annoy Stevie.

Siobhan

Actually a massive football fan, both men and women’s.

She tries to downplay her interest, but when somebody is watching football with her, it becomes apparent to them that she is not a casual fan.

She’ll scream, cry, shout, chant, throw things, swear etc.

She’s an absolute menace.

Will deny her passion for football if you confront her about it.

Jamie

Does not know or care much for football.

He tries to support England in major tournaments for social sake.

When England lost to Italy in the Euros final he made the mistake of saying to a group of hardcore England fans in the pub that it’s “only a game, lads!” and “There’s always the next one!”

He had to run for his life that day.

Cam

Does not like football.

May engage in Euros and World Cup talk around others for social sake.

Avoids pubs when games are on.

Hates how loud England fans are.

Hates how vulgar some of the chants are.

Jodie

Likes football.

Doesn’t watch much but enjoys it when it’s on.

Doesn’t support a particular club.

Generally watches whatever is relevant e.g. big competitions or title decider matches.

Played FIFA once and was pretty good at it.

Rash

A casual fan.

Supports (women’s and men’s) Arsenal.

Supports the UK national teams in major tournaments, but doesn’t care much for national football.

Doesn’t celebrate loudly when his team scores, he either nods his head or claps.

Tariq

A bigger fan than Rash.

Supports Arsenal too and is a massive England fan.

Like Ian, he is chanting Sweet Caroline all night long.

He loves the social side of football AKA having a pint in the pub and screaming at the TV.

He’ll watch the women’s game but he doesn’t go out of his way to watch it.

Definitely plays Fantasy Premier League and is quite good at it.

Plays FIFA and is awful at it, despite pretending he is not.

Shouts “suiii” sporadically in random everyday situations.

Rida

Loves football.

Feel like she supports West Ham and all the UK national teams.

Gets really passionate about both club and national football.

Loves chanting random shite and heatedly debating.

Will say things like “______ washed,” “Pessi,” “Penaldo,” “oil club” etc.

Gossips about football player drama like it’s a soap, especially with Jodie and Rash.

Prefers the women’s game to the men’s.

Always gets into arguments with Tariq over football.

Bullied him mercilessly when Arsenal bottled the title two years in a row.

Plays FIFA and is amazing at it. Always destroys Tariq on it.

Nicole

Die-hard Newcastle United fan.

Has a season ticket even if she can’t attend a lot of the matches because of work.

Usually games she does attend are when NUFC are away in the south because they’re easier to get to.

Tries to watch all their matches.

Is loud as fuck when watching football.

Loves chanting complete bollocks.

Prefers the men’s team to the women’s team, but only because the reason she is so passionate about NUFC is because of her upbringing.

She still loves the women’s team.

Argues the politics of football often, talking about money’s influence in the game.

Hates Manchester City with a burning passion, even more so than Manchester United.

When she met Ngozi, she started getting an increased interest in local football like her.

Watches major (men and women’s) national tournaments, but does not care much for the England team.

Ngozi

Loves football, with an emphasis on the unity it can bring.

Prefers local level football over big club football because she believes it’s more authentic (believes money ruins football).

Watches the (men and women’s) Nigerian leagues and England leagues.

Doesn’t really support one team.

She likes the Premier League, but she prefers the lower leagues like the National League, Sky Bet League Two etc.

Watches all the playoff games.

Feel like she likes obscure, smaller leagues in different countries as well.

Loves Afcon.

Supports men and women’s Nigerian team, but she loves Afcon more as a whole.

When she moved to the UK, she got more into the Euros.

Heavily dislikes the men’s England national team fanbase.

Loves watching the devolved nations and the Republic of Ireland.

Hates France.

She started supporting Newcastle United more because of Nicole.

Both like going to the men and women’s matches together when they can.

Is a bit disturbed when Nicole starts joining in bizarre chanting and often has to ask what half the words mean.

Watching Nigeria teams makes her a little sad now because she misses it, but she loves talking about the teams and Afcon as a whole with people, especially Nicole.