#'i need to write something happy' immediate angst cues

[sophiethewitch1]

chapter 8 is done!!! wooo fireworks yeahhh!!! god that took so long someone kill me. anyways gonna edit it and then we're good to go gang :)

[hp-hcs]

Can you write a Theo x reader that’s super angsty. Here’s what I’m thinking; Theo is a death eater (forced to be by his father.) and y/n is a slytherin but joined dumbledores army with the golden trio. So it’s like they’re fighting on opposite sides- theo believes he can feed the other side information and work as a spy sort of like snape. Maybe something where during the battle at hogwarts where they find each other/ someone’s hurt etc. or Theo is found out as a spy and gets tortured or something. I need a solid cry. I lovveee fanfics but sometimes I need more book accurate stories ya know? - Tysm in advance! I followed on my writing acc. And I’ll be on the lookout! You’re the best! :)

uh careful what you wish for ig? idk what this is

requests? i have to spend the week at my parents and i just cannot 🫠

it’s too late — ex-death eater! order of the phoenix! theodore nott x gn! order of the phoenix! reader

WARNINGS: uh angst, no happy ending, graphic descriptions of character death, graphic descriptions of blood and gore, the ineradicability of hope despite the futility of effort?

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Ooh, Y/N,” Theodore waggles his eyebrows with a silly grin. “Love the outfit. You should wear my clothes more often.”

“God, I am trying to eat my breakfast,” Harry grumbles, pretending to gag.

You stick your tongue out at him and smooth out the front of your sweater, the one you ‘borrowed’ from Theodore’s trunk. You move past Harry’s chair, ruffling his hair as you pass, and head towards the kitchen to help Tonks and Mrs. Weasley clean up breakfast.

The Order had retreated once more to 12 Grimmauld Place as Death Eater attacks began to grow nearer and nearer every day. Theodore Nott, a Death Eater defector (can someone even be a defector if they never supported the cause in the first place?) was hiding out with the Order, as the group’s informant and spy.

Ron shot Theo a dirty look, frowning. It was no secret that the Trio didn’t fully trust Theodore, even despite his Unbreakable Vow to the cause. “Pass me the butter?”

Theo schooled his features into a neutral, impassive expression, sliding the butter dish across the table.

“Thanks,” Ron mumbled tersely, not meeting his eyes.

Theo nodded stiffly in acknowledgment. “Uh, anyways, there’s another meeting today. I’ll be gone this afternoon, but I should be back by this evening.”

“Meeting? There’s not supposed to be another meeting,” Remus Lupin looked up from his copy of the Prophet, eyebrows furrowing.

“No. But those Eaters that got arrested yesterday? In Diagon Alley?” Theo reaches over the table to tap to front page of Remus’ newspaper, where a large headline proclaims ‘TEN DEAD—Five Death Eaters Arrested’. “Ol’ Moldy Voldy’s pissed.”

Remus grimaces. “Should we se-”

An uncomfortable tugging sensation settles on all of the occupants’ bodies, the fizz of magic snapping and popping filling the air.

Sirius, with a piece of toast halfway in his mouth, looks up, startled. He mumbles something around his bite of food, dropping his toast and standing up.

“What was that?” Harry asks, reaching for his wand.

“The wards,” Sirius says anxiously. “Somebody’s here. Somebody with ill intent.”

As if on cue, the back door of Grimmauld slammed open, the doorframe splintered and cracked with the force of it.

You jump to your feet, wand in hand, ready to run in guns ablazing. But Theo shoves you behind him, his fingers curled tight into the fabric of your sweater to keep you from running back out into the fray.

In the doorway stands a large figure, swathed in black with a terrifyingly uncanny inhuman mask. The figure wastes no time in raising their wand, firing off a quick Crucio at Harry, who tumbles to the ground immediately.

The figure is joined by three other monstrous forms, who shove past them with alacrity. The four figures are immediately engaged in a frantic fight, ending with one of them being hit over the head by Tonks with a baseball bat portkey, two of them being Stupefied, and the last one standing menacingly in the center of the wrecked kitchen, holding their side where they’re actively bleeding from a well-aimed Sectumsempra from Harry.

You’d never seen anything like that spell before, and you watched the effects in fascinated horror.

The figure sinks to its knees, coughing loudly. It hastily pulls off its mask, wet blood dribbling from its mouth and running down its- his chin.

In front of you, Theo stiffens, his fingers clenching in your sweater.

“Theodore,” the man on the floor rasps, grinning maniacally as he hacked out more blood. “Traitor.”

“F-father-”

The man scrambles for his wand. “The Dark Lord sends his regards. Avada Kedavra!”

Theodore falls to the floor with a loud thunk, his body limp and empty. You drop to your knees beside him. It’s loud. Someone’s screaming.

You realize it’s you.

You desperately cup his face in your hands, trying to get him to wake up, to say got you! and laugh.

But he remains still.

You can barely tell that you’re frantically muttering every healing spell you know.

It’s no use.

You feel a heavy hand rest on your shoulder. Looking up, you can vaguely tell through your tears that it’s Ron, his bright red hair acting as a beacon. Ron shakes his head slowly. He says something, you can see his lips moving, but no sound comes out. Your head feels underwater; everything seems distorted.

You grip Theodore’s hand (so cold, so dead) in yours, sobbing out pleas to Merlin, to Salazar, to God, to whoever is out there.

It’s too late.

He’s gone.

~~~

“Pass me the butter? Thanks.”

“Anyways, there’s another meeting today. I’ll be gone this afternoon, but I should be back b-”

“Theo!”

He falls silent, looking up at you, confused.

“Theo, they’re coming. They know you’ve double crossed them.”

Theodore blinks.

He starts laughing.

“Y/N, hon. I think the stress is starting to get to you,” he smiles gently and presses a kiss to your cheek. “They know nothing.”

“No, it’s not! I-”

“Sweetheart, this anxiety of yours isn’t helping anyone right now,” Mrs. Weasley put her hands on your shoulders. “How about you go lie down for a bit, dear. I’ll bring you a cup of tea in a minute. Go on,” she gently shoos you from the kitchen despite your protests.

You’re ushered out into the hallway, and you can hear the click of the kitchen door’s lock. You scoff, offended and upset. You can hear the indistinct murmurs of everyone behind the door.

Why didn’t they believe you?

A now semi-familiar tugging sensation settles on your skin, the sound of warning magic filling the air.

You gasp. You run to the kitchen door, banging on it. “No, wait! Theo- let me in!”

You hear louder murmurs, then a crashing sound of what must’ve been the door splintering, just like before.

You bang louder on the door, jiggling the door handle. You can hear the sounds of the fight breaking out and you scream, hammering your fists against the kitchen door.

Then you hear it.

“Theodore. Traitor.”

“F-father-”

“The Dark Lord sends his regards. Avada Kedavra!”

It’s too late.

He’s gone.

~~~

“Theodore. Traitor.”

“F-father-”

“The Dark Lord sends his regards. Avada Kedavra!”

You tackle Theo to the ground just in time, ducking under the spell.

His head hits the ground with a stomach churning crack. His face goes blank and the light in his eyes is snuffed out all at once. Blood slowly starts pooling around his skull.

It’s too late.

He’s gone.

~~~ “Avada Kedav-”

You leap in front of Theodore.

The spell reflects off of the odd golden hourglass charm you wear around your neck.

The green burst bounces around the room like a pinball machine. It’d be comical if it wasn’t deadly.

It bounces off of the saucepan on the stove, rebounding. With no preamble, hits Theodore straight in the chest.

He falls with a sickening whumph.

It’s too late.

He’s gone.

~~~

You fall to your knees at the same time as Theo’s body hits the floor.

You sob out, clutching your chest over your heart.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why couldn’t you save him?

“Because it’s futile.”

You look up, thick tears streaming down your face.

The man on the floor, Theodore’s father, gives you a bloodstained grin. His red-streaked fingers help him claw his way across the floor over to you, a streak of blood smearing across the floor, marking the path of his slow-moving body.

He clamps one hand over your knee, squeezing with an unexpected strength. His nails dig into your skin, hard enough that dots of blood erupt to the surface. You gasp at the sharp pain, then gasp again when you look up into his ruby red eyes.

“Death is the end,” he rasps with psychotic glee, blood and spittle dripping from his lips. “You’ve changed nothing. You are nothing. You’ve failed him. It’s too late. He’s gone.”

[rat-cannibal]

i have no idea if you write for adam, but here i am

i am the ultimate angst asker, if you're okay with that

adam or lute(ilovewomenbumpersticker) x reader who does in the extermination without them knowing.

- FEED ME A BONE,

carcass

aaaa thank you so much for the request!! i am a fellow lover of women, so I will do Lute at a later date. i wasnt too sure about what you meant by 'does in'. i did give you a sad ending though, so hopefully that makes up for it!

how would adam or lute react to the reader finding out about the exterminations? Part 1

- Adam -

you and adam started dating before he started the exterminations

you're an amazing person - kind, sweet, innocent, everything an angel should be. and also everything Adam isn't.

adam is already so insecure about anything that has to do with hell bc lucifer stole his wives (cue pussy eating hand gesture)

so he doesn't even mention it when he starts thinking about the exterminations

you're suspicious, obviously, because he's going off on so many meetings and is becoming more distant

but you dont say anything because you love adam, and he would never lie to you.. would he?

when adam finally gets his extermination team approved, he's overjoyed

he comes home and immediately kisses the shit out of you

You whine as he pulls away from you, your lips swollen and your face flushed. You try to catch your breath. "Not that I'm complaining, but, uh, what exactly was that about?"

Adam grins widely, squeezing your hands. "What, am I not allowed to kiss my beautiful partner hello?" You sense a hint of deceit in his voice, but choose not to question him about it.

you and adam always sleep in the same bed at nights. you have practically since you started dating.

so when one night he doesn't come home, alarm bells immediately go off in your head

is he cheating on you? maybe he found someone else, someone better

no, you reason, surely he's just held up at work

your suspicions only intensify when he returns the following morning, hair tousled and clothing ruffled

he looks exhausted, like he didn't get any sleep. usually this would indicate a long day at work, but theres a smile on his face that paperwork could never cause

dread grows in your stomach

he greets you happily, like nothing's wrong, and you play along, not wanting to fight with your boyfriend about something that could very well have been a misunderstanding

next year, though, when he disappears again and comes back looking thoroughly satisfied, your suspicions are confirmed.

adam is cheating on you.

you're a very conflict-averse person, so these yearly meetings go on for nearly two decades (time works different in heaven ok just roll with it. 1 year = a month to them basically)

eventually, though, you come home from a hard day of work and Adam isn't there.

that pushes you over the edge. you pack a bag and store it in the closet before going back to your room.

you would look for an apartment in the morning. for now, you just want to sleep.

you wake up and join adam in the kitchen for breakfast. he looks like he always does after these meetings - ruffled, yet satisfied.

"Adam," you say simply, "we need to talk."

"Uh-oh," teases Adam, "am I in trouble?"

"Where were you last night?"

Adam swallows thickly. "What?"

You glare at him. "Where were you last night?"

"I was busy with a work thing - you know how it is, babe, they work me to the bone. It's ridiculous."

"Why do you look so happy, then, so fulfilled?" You sigh. "Look, Adam, I know you're cheating on me. I've known for years now. I guess I just hoped you'd have the balls to admit it."

adam tries to frantically explain that he's not cheating on you, that he's been leading a yearly extermination

he would never cheat on you, he loves you

you demand to know what an extermination is, and he tells you in more detail than you ever would have wanted

you listen in silence as he describes the joy he gets from killing demons - from killing human souls

you retrieve your bag and leave your shared apartment for good

adam begs you to stay, says he'll change, that he'll do anything

but you can't be with a murderer

[with-love-from-hell]

Impurity

{ft. Lucifer}

Part 4 of the Fortification Series  (based on this request)

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, some fluff

Written for a GN!MC, though the partner is written as male.

WC: ~4.9k

TRIGGER WARNING: Each part contains graphic depictions of various types of abuse, please see specific content warnings for each individual part.

Cw: Sexual assault / rape, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, depictions associated with making a sexual assault report,  negative self-talk and poor self-esteem, graphic violence and gore, mentions of sex, use of misogynistic language, Headcanon that Mammon is a SA survivor is mentioned

I know I am seemingly one-note, lol. I just love writing Lucifer beating the fuck out of rapists but I promise I will do others if it’s requested of me!! 

Series Masterlist

Note: Though I do have a masters degree in Psychology and clinical training in treating survivors of abuse, I am not your therapist, nor is this fic intended to take the place of professional help. If you are experiencing any type of abuse, please seek support from a professional. Utilize the Victim Connect Resource Center to get connected to the appropriate helpline.

“Hey...Lucifer?” You knock gently on the frame of his office door and peak your head in, having seen the light on and door ajar. You hoped you weren’t bothering him, as you knew he was a busy demon...but part of you was wishing he'd give you an excuse not to talk to him.. "Can I...Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Lucifer perked up upon hearing your voice echo just barely above the orchestral music playing over his record player. He sets down his demonus and straightens his loosened collar. “Yes, Mc. Come in.” 

He studies you as you walk through the door, taking note of your typical demur demeanor as you quickly take a seat across from his desk. He cocks his head, seeing your back hunched over in such an uncomfortable way as you try to make yourself smaller. He couldn’t keep track of how many times he had reminded you to fix your posture, trying to avoid having you deal with a lifetime of chronic back pain. You catch his gaze for just a minute, and straighten your back as if on cue. He hums to himself; perhaps he had made a difference after all. 

He smiles, returning his focus to his paperwork, swiftly scratching his quill on the parchment. “What can I do for you?” 

You sit silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. You wanted to be honest with him- to tell him what was going on with you and your boyfriend, but something akin to guilt held you back. He could get expelled if you tell on him...though that wouldn’t be a particularly bad thing. It’s not like you didn’t care about him despite all he’s done, but he’s hurt you so many times that you needed something...someone to intervene. You gulp, swallowing back the negative thoughts that had turned to fear...but what if nothing changes? What if you telling the eldest makes things worse for you? What if he tries to-

“Mc?” Lucifer lifts his gaze, becoming concerned with your obvious signs of nervousness. The sweating, the trembling, the very obvious rapid heart beat that he could feel pounding through you from where he was sitting...Something was wrong- this wasn’t just you being shy. Lucifer had begun to break through your hesitance and shyness despite all you had gone through in Devildom. His brothers began to consider you family, and he grew quite fond of you too. In the same sense, he could tell when you were especially anxious about something, and he would have to be blind to not see the pattern it followed. Whenever that piece of shit you called a partner was around you, your attitude soured. All the happiness you exhibited around his brothers was sucked out of you whenever that bastard was around, but you assured them your relationship was fine. Something about it felt off about it though, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why he immediately had a distaste for the man. Despite Lucifer not being too fond of you at first, he had an appreciation for your kindness, conflict resolution skills, and your ability to calm others around you. And that tended to be nulled when he was around. 

 You take a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you something...about- uh- RAD policies.” 

He lifts an eyebrow, abandoning his quill and putting his full attention on you. “I assume you haven’t done anything wrong to prompt this question?” 

You feel your heartbeat quicken, going so fast it feel it may burst from your chest. “What? N-no! It’s not-”

“Relax,” Lucifer extends his hand across the desk, nudging a glass of water toward you with concern painted all over his face. “It was all in jest. Now, what is you question?” 

You breathe a sigh of relief, reaching toward the glass and lifting it to your lips with shaking hands. Lucifer notices a bruise on your wrist as you reach for the glass.after a moment of silence and him staring at your hand, you remember what it was you were going to talk to him about.

“Oh- yeah...” You drop your gaze to the floor for a moment, thinking over your words.

Lucifer folds his arms, blinking at you expectantly. As you nervously meet his gaze, you felt urgency build in your stomach. He had just parted his lips to say something when you blurted out what you had been meaning to say.

“I wanted to a-ask. If someone were to experience an...uh...an a-assault. Who would they have to go to, and- uh- what would happen to the accused? ...Uh- hypothetically speaking, of course...” You manage to stutter the words out quickly before you could change your mind.  

Lucifer’s eyes widened in surprise at your question. He watches you play with your fingers nervously, waiting for his response. As his brain processes the words that tumbled past your lips, a feeling of unease grows in his chest. He leans forward, his gaze more intense as he observes your reactions. “An assault...of what nature? Were you harmed?” 

You shift your eyes away from him, gulping back the fear and emotional pain returning to the front of your mind. “I...I’m just asking for...a-a friend.”

Lucifer nods, clearly seeing right through your lie but choosing not to challenge you on it. He was concerned that you would scurry away and hide whatever was going on from him if he did. The prospect of you having been assaulted in some way sends alarm bells ringing through his system, and he needed to get as much information out of you as possible. Not only did he need to find and eliminate the scum responsible for hurting you, but he also would need to inform Diavolo so the proper paperwork could be completed. “Well, for your friend then. What happened to them?”

Your eyes dart around the room, briefly connecting with his before continuing their frantic path throughout his office. You didn’t want to tip Lucifer off to knowing this was about you and your boyfriend, so you tried your best to remain vague. “They...They were sexually assaulted by a classmate.” 

Lucifer cleared his throat, feeling as if he had been hit by a freight train. He swallowed hard, taking up his pen and a blank piece of parchment to take down a report. He tried desperately to remain calm, and tried to hide the fact that he was extremely worried about you. “That is quite a serious offense, and one that would absolutely require a report. Do you know details- Who was involved, what had happened, etcetera?” 

You shift nervously in the chair, unconsciously squeezing your legs together. “Well...I don’t think I want to say who was involved...o-out of respect for them.” 

“The accused as well?” Lucifer eyes you suspiciously. 

You hesitate, but give him a small nod. “At least for now.” 

Lucifer sighs, but returns the head movement. “I will need to have that information to make a full report, but for now we can bypass it.” 

You relax a little into the firm leather chair at the validation that you didn’t have to disclose those details right now. It felt wrong lying to him about the fact that it had happened to you, but you felt reassured by the fact that he was taking it so seriously. Lucifer scratched some words onto the parchment, the sound easing some of your tension. From your seat, you could see it was today’s date and a few details indicating what the report was about. 

"Now then, would you mind starting from the beginning?” He looked up at you briefly while scrawling, seemingly trying to read your features. “Give as much detail as you can.” 

You nod, taking a deep breath before speaking. “Well, my friend spent the night in- uh, another student’s dorm. They knew it was a bad idea, but they didn't feel like they had a choice...And he...uh- I mean, they- started touching them without their consent...” 

Lucifer nodded, quickly scrawling down each word said with precision as you spoke. The more details you provide, the more worried he became, considering he had already suspected this “friend” scenario to be fabricated. 

“Okay...and then what happened?” 

You stared at your hands as you picked the skin around your fingers, staying quiet for a moment.

Lucifer looked up at you, pen still in hand. He reached out his other toward you, catching your attention. “It’s okay. This is a safe place to discuss such matters.” 

You sigh, turning your gaze back down toward your hands. Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. “H-he forced them to have sex.” 

Lucifer felt his heart shatter, reluctantly turning his attention back toward the parchment, but keeping an eye on your trembling form. He wasn’t quite sure what to say in the moment, given that you clearly didnt want to tell him this was something that you were experiencing, but he knew he had to try to say something in an attempt to comfort you. “I’m so very sorry to the ‘friend’ who had to go through that. I’m sure it must have been truly awful. I hope that they know, as well as you, that I am going to be taking this very seriously.” 

You stayed silent, trying to fight back tears as you hugged yourself tightly.

Lucifer sighed deeply, turning his gaze back down toward the parchment as he continued on with the report.  “At what time and date did this occur?” 

You furrow your brow, trying to pinpoint an exact time frame. “Umm...a few nights ago- well, one of the incidents, that is. And-” 

“One of?” Lucifer shot his gaze up at you, feeling horrified at your assertion. “How many times has this occurred, exactly?” 

You felt your heartbeat quicken once again in a panic. Your words begin tumbling out of your mouth without having thought about them. “Uh...I-I don’t know...I-I haven’t really kept track.” 

Lucifer blinked, confused by your words. Keeping track? Dear Father... he felt sick to his stomach at the mere thought of something happening to you once, let alone so many more times than that. He shook his head, leaning forward toward you and extending his hand once more. “Mc, I need you to tell me- is this situation faced by the unnamed ‘friend’ actually referring to something that has happened to you?” 

Your face drains of color and you begin to feel your breathing become ragged. Panic seeps into every inch of your body. You stood up suddenly, mumbling an excuse about needing to go, and you bolt out of Lucifer’s office without looking back. You ran as fast as you could to your room, bypassing a few of the brothers on your way. Each looked on with mortified concern. 

Lucifer sits back in his office chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was unsure of how to process the events that just transpired before him, and he was so very worried about you. He felt sick to his stomach at the realization that someone had harmed you in such a way, and though he had a good idea as to who it was, he had no proof. He cursed under his breath, knowing nothing could be done within the realm of Devildom Law unless you decided to go into depth on what happened to you, or some sort of evidence was gathered to prove of your boyfriends abuse. Looking back, he saw all of the warning signs that he should have picked up on. The increased anxiety, the isolating, the excessive bruises and marks all over your body that you desperately tried to hide- it all should have made sense sooner. He shook his head, pushing the hindsight bias away. As he stood and exited his office; all he could think about was ensuring he was there to comfort you. 

He cautiously walked to your room, catching worried glimpses from his brothers on the way there. They all asked various questions about your behavior, and if you were okay, but Lucifer side-stepped them. It was none of their business unless you made it so- but he understood if you chose to keep the events of what happened to you to yourself. He had never experienced such nefarious encounters with anyone before, but he knew that Mammon had frequently encountered coercion with a few witches that left him feeling a similar way. He couldn’t image the amount of shame you had harbored within you, and he guessed you feared retaliation from the one who did it, given how terrified you looked. 

He knocked gently on your door, hoping you would answer. As expected, the door remained latched in place. As he leaned into the door, he could hear desperate sobbing from within your room. His chest ached at the sound, knowing you were probably in such large amounts of pain. Lucifer knocked once more before announcing his entrance, and then allowed himself entry into your room with his master key. 

You heard Lucifer enter, but were too wrapped up in your sobs to yell at him to leave you alone. Besides, part of you did want him to stay- it always bothered you how you often wanted two conflicting things at once. You curled in on yourself, not bothering to turn to face him. 

Lucifer approached your fetal-positioned body, sitting down on the bed beside you and gently placing his hand on your shoulder. “Mc, I know you're hurting...But I want to be here to support you...if you’d allow it.” 

You choked on your tears, not being able to give a verbal response. Instead, you nod, clutching yourself tighter as more tears forced their way out from behind your eyes. 

Lucifer shifted so that he had easier access to your back, rubbing circles gently around the center. He hushed you as you cried, reminding you that you were safe, and providing reassurance that he was not going to leave you to be victimized again. You cried for what seemed like hours, and every now and then Lucifer would get up to open the door, quickly shut it, and return with something for you. The first time it was a bottle of water, the second time it was tea, and the third it was Belphie’s favorite pillow.

After your tears slowed, you eased yourself up to a sitting position, but declined to meet Lucifer’s eyes. He watched you carefully, ensuring to be alert to when you needed something from him, but trying not to make assumptions at the same time.

“Can we talk?’ He asked the question in as gentle of a tone as he could muster. “I need to know more about what's happened to make sure you're safety is upheld...if you are okay with telling me.” 

You nod slightly, glancing at him once before returning your eyes to the floor. 

“Who hurt you?” Lucifer asked softly, trying his best to not come off as demanding.

You swallow, your body tensing as you try to find your voice.

Lucifer pauses for a moment before extending his hand toward you. “Here. Squeeze once for 'yes', twice for 'no'. Can you do that?” 

You stare at his hand for a moment before hesitantly taking it in yours. You give one gentle squeeze, signaling to him that this was okay.

He gives you a half smile. “I’ll try asking a different way- was your Boyfriend the one who did that to you?” 

You bite your cheek, and squeeze his hand once. 

Lucifer nods, unsurprised at the confirmation of what he suspected. “The assaults...had they always ended in intercourse?"

You wince, but squeeze his hand twice.

He sits still for a minute, giving your hand a gentle squeeze back. "Was this the first time it had gone that far?"

He feels a gentle squeeze from your hand. He waits for a moment, thinking maybe you will squeeze twice, but another doesn’t come. He nods sadly, feeling sorrowful that he hadn’t been able to help you sooner- before you had to experience something worse than what you already had been through. He felt immense guilt for having put you through what he did while you were facing so much pain already, despite the fact that you had buried the hatchet with him.

“Have any assaults happened in our home?” 

You hesitate, but squeeze his hand twice. 

He breathes a sign of relief, thankful that he hadn’t missed something while he had been around to potentially stop it. The notion eased his guilt somewhat. 

Before he could ask his next question, you decide to speak. Your voice was subdued and hard to hear, but he was able to make out what you said: “It's happened at one of Diavolo’s parties though...but most of the time it's been at RAD- up until a few nights ago when I was studying with him at Purgatory Hall...that's when he...he...” 

Lucifer turns his head away from you for a moment. He stares out the window, muttering his contempt for the man who called himself your boyfriend under his breath. He squeezes your hand tighter to reassure you that you don't have to continue talking if you didn't want to. “Have you tried telling someone else?” 

You quickly squeeze his hand twice, rubbing tears away from your eyes with your other hand. “You...You’re the only one that knows.” 

He looked down at your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to let you know he was here. He was saddened by the fact that not only did he not catch on, but no one else had at well. There were so many opportunities for someone to intervene...why couldn't I have seen it sooner...

Your voice interrupts his thoughts, before he delves too far into self-loathing. “I just...I didn't know what to do..."

Lucifer meets your eyes once again. His eyes were glossy as if he was about to cry. He tugs on your hand gently, but stops, as if reconsidering something. After a moment, he speaks. “Mc, would you care for a hug?” 

You smile weakly through the tears and nod, giving him approval. He pulls you gently into his arms and wraps you in a tight embrace. His body is warm and comforting, and you relax into the way his arms grip you firmly, but provide enough space for you to exit the hug should you choose to do so. 

The rest of the evening is spent in your room, with Lucifer re-writing your report from earlier with the new information given. He is sensitive to your limited ability to talk about what happened, providing you breaks when needed and not asking for any graphic detail. The hardest part was providing photo evidence of the scars and bruises left along your body from the most recent incident, as having to strip yourself nearly nude in front of Lucifer felt uncomfortable. He did his best to continue to make you feel safe and secure in his presence...Which was something you appreciated. 

After compiling his report, he spent the night with you. You talked about...well...anything and everything, and he provided you with physical comfort- the likes of which you hadn’t felt in a long time. The anxieties related to your ex-boyfriend’s retaliation picked up once you texted a vague message with the intention to break up and blocked his number, but Lucifer assured you that he would take care of everything later. 

-----------------------------------------------------

Lucifer shook his umbrella off in the foyer before dropping it into the decorative stand near the door. The walk home from RAD had been atrocious, but he needed to make sure you had arrived home safely. You had left RAD early with Beelzebub’s accompaniment, but a Fangol game had taken him away from your side for the rest of the evening. Lucifer was worried about you being home alone for an hour, but he reassured himself it would be fine. It was only one hour, after all.

He removed his coat and loosened his tie before stopping by the kitchen to grab some demonus. He thought about offering you to join him in his study while he worked for the evening, so setting the mood was imperative to him. As he set up the wine glasses and turned on his record player, a curious sound piqued his interest. He stepped out of his office, calling out to you once. You were the only one home, after all- so any noise he presumed was coming from you. After hearing the noise again, his heart dropped to his stomach like an anvil. 

It sounded like muffled screaming. 

Lucifer bolted up the stairs as fast as he could, cursing himself for even thinking to give an hour gap in your protection after he had filed the report to Diavolo last week. The investigation had begun, and you repetitively voiced your worries about retaliation from your ex-boyfriend...He just didn’t think the man would be so bold- under his own roof, no less.

Without losing momentum, Lucifer threw his weight into the door, crashing it open. Fortunately, the man hadn’t seemed to have hurt you too severely, despite the fact that it looked like he was trying to. He had you pinned to your bed, shirt split open with a hand around your neck. Seeing Lucifer, he panicked and pressed further into your trachea, causing you to gasp desperately for air. 

Lucifer growled and sprang forward, grabbing the man faster than he could react. He effortlessly pulled him off of you, allowing your ability to breathe to return. Lucifer dragged him out of your room by the hair, only pausing briefly to tell you to go to his room and wait for him there. He didn’t care that the investigation hadn’t yet been completed, as your safety gained priority to him...It’s not like he wanted to wait for the investigation to complete to be able to tear the man who hurt you apart anyway, and now he had an excuse to finally teach this bastard a lesson. Whoever hurt you in such a monstrous way deserved a fate far worse than death, and that is precisely what he was going to get. 

Pulling aggressively at the tendrils in his scalp, Lucifer dragged the man all the way down 3 flights of stairs and into the basement catacombs. A small chamber existed within the depths of the HOL, long abandoned as the need for torture dwindled with Diavolo’s reign and new laws were established. He threw the man into the cell roughly, relishing in the sound of his head cracking as it hit the concrete foundation to the house. 

Lucifer squatted in front of the man, ruby eyes piercing through his skull in the flickering candlelight. His voice was intense, but eerily calm at the same time. "What makes you think you could enter my home and attempt to hurt a fellow exchange student?"

The man groaned in response, still dazed from his head hitting the wall. Lucifer snorted and gripped the man by the neck, lifting him and slamming him against the wall again.

"I'm not going to repeat myself." He hissed into the man's face.

"It-its none of your business." He spat back, clearly not understanding that Lucifer was the one in control.

The first born narrowed his eyes, squeezing his throat tighter. His claws dug into his skin, producing small amounts of blood as the man gasped for air. "I believe it is my business, as it concerns the safety of the one I pledged to oversee."

The man gave a wheezing laugh, taunting the eldest brother right to his face. "Yeah. right. 'Oversee.' A-are you sure you're not just j-jealous?"

Lucifer's expression soured as he registered the meaning of his words. He slammed the man against the wall again, blood now dripping onto the floor from the back of his head.

"You've got some nerve, human." He snarled, dropping his body to the floor. The man gasped for air desperately as Lucifer paced in front of him. So many ways the human could meet their demise, but what way would be the most painful? And what method would allow prolonged torture, but get him to your side the fastest? He spotted spool of electrical extension cords on the wall for emergency use, being that the rest of the items typically used for torture were at the Demon Lords castle.

That will have to do.

Lucifer gripped the man by his hair once more, pulling rougher when the man tried to squirm out of his grasp. He pulled the cords tight around him, stringing him upside down from the ceiling of the cell. Lucifer cracked his neck, discarding his gloves and vest to the floor- his eyes never leaving the terrified man who hung before him.

"You know." Lucifer sighed, extending his claws and giving them a once over to assess their sharpness. "I never liked you in the first place, but beyond all doubt I decided to give you a chance."

Lucifer slowly dragged his claws along the wall, eliciting a high-pitched screech as he sharpened them against the concrete. The man winced at the agonizing sound trying desperately to ignore it. Lucifer smirked, continuing to drag them until he was satisfied with their razor-edged sharpness.

"To think, that I had been so foolish. Hmpf...it's not often that I admit to making a mistake, so congratulations." He cooked his head, approaching the man. Lucifer's dtared into his eyes, the deep red orbs holding a mixture of contempt, and intent to kill. He pressed a claw to his cheek as the man trembled in fear. "Its a shame you won't be around to celebrate such a feat."

"H-hey man..." he now realized his predicament, losing all of his snarky demeanor in an instant as fear took over his actions. "I'll let you have the fucking bitch, just please let me go!!"

Lucifer's nose twitched in annoyance as he let out a deeply forced chuckle. The man gulped as his laughter echoed eerily through the cell, darting his eyes around to look for an escape. In an instant, Lucifer's laugh ceased and he slapped the man hard across the face. He screamed, his body swaying from the force of the impact.

"I can have them? As if you own them?" Lucifer yelled, the room seemingly shaking with the force of his voice. He was furious at the language the man who claimed to love you was using toward you. "How fucking dare you!"

Blood oozed out of the man's slashed face and onto the floor. Lucifer tugged his body closer to his face as he whimpered. He gritted his teeth, the words he spat at the man laced with venom. "You think you deserve mercy? Tch. The Avatar of Pride shows no mercy to those who bring harm to his family."

The man's eyes widened in fear as Lucifer brought his hand up to the man's stomach. He plunged his claws deep into his flesh and dragged his claws against the man's abdomen. He wailed in pain, pleading for Lucifer to spare his life, screaming out apologies for his behavior, and praying to whatever God there was to save him. Lucifer could almost laugh at the sight, if it wasn't so pitiful. How ironic that a man who had once seen himself as above all others, even the first-born himself, was now a sobbing mess, begging for his life as if he ever gave one shred of a fuck toward anyone else’s. 

Lucifer retracted his claws, wiping his hands clean on the tail of his shirt. The man’s sobs had slowed as he became light headed from being drained of so much blood. He was just about to exit the cell when the man called out to him, urging him to look back over his shoulder. 

“W-what, are you just going to leave me here alone to die?!” He screeched, tears plopping on the floor below him as he struggled against his binds.

Lucifer smirked. His fangs glistened a brilliant white as the flickering candle light danced off of them. With a snap of his fingers, the candles were extinguished, the only small bit of light was from Lucifer’s growing red eyes. 

“Oh, don’t you worry...You’re not alone.”

Before Lucifer turned to exit, three more pairs of glowing red eyes appeared above his, along with a symphony of growls and snarls. The man stilled his movements, but his body continued to sway in the darkness. The eyes seemed to train on his swinging body despite the dark clouding most of his own vision. He began quaking with fear, as Lucifer uttered his final words. 

“Enjoy your new chew toy, Cerberus.” 

The best lunged forward with a deep roar as the man screamed. Lucifer smiled as he walked down the corridor of the catacombs, the sounds of the man’s wailing, Cerberus’s growls, and ripping flesh making him feel more calm with each step toward the stairs. With each ascension, the screams became more garbled, sounding as if the man was choking on his own blood. Gleeful yips from Lucifer’s hounds indicated that they had done their due diligence in following suit with Lucifer’s torture. 

Lucifer Slammed the door to the basement behind him, leaving the man to his demise.  He quickly jogged back up the stairs, briefly pausing by your room to confirm you had followed his instructions. He then returned to his room, softly announcing his presence before opening the door. 

You were sitting in the far corner of the room, knees pulled to your chest and tears flowing down your cheeks. After confirming the individual who entered the room was Lucifer, you bolt toward him. He barely catches you as you swing your arms around his neck, sobbing into his chest. He carries you to the loveseat across from the fire place, a roaring fire lighting at the snap of his fingers. He sits you in his lap, gently rocking you and reassuring you that you were safe in his arms, and that your ex-boyfriend wouldn’t be around to harm you anymore.  

[hiddens-eden]

The Last Tune (Emmett Cullen x Male!Reader) Pt 1

Paring; Emmett Cullen x Male Reader + Cullen Family x Male Reader (PLATONIC)

Warning: Cursing, Abuse, Tramua, Angst

Pronouns; He/Him

Spelling checked; No

Summary; Y/N is a quiet boy that's had his fair share of physical and emotional trauma, so he loves to keep to himself. He barely interacts with anyone unless needed and prefers to listen to music and sketch in peace. So imagine his surprise when some of the most popular kids in school want to be around him! They heard him singing along with his music and were immediately entranced. One of them in particular has his eyes set on him. Though, they are not the only ones who have an interest in Y/N.

A/N; Hello, my little Otaku's! Welcome to my first fic! I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated! Just be kind! I'm sorry if it seems at all rushed! On my next stories I do plan on switching PoV's so it'll be easier to write and more entertaining. Enjoy!

"Who are they?"a dark haired girl asked her friend that was sitting just across from their lunch table

"Those are some of the most popular people in school, the Cullen's. Not only are they hot as hell, but they're charming to boot! They do disappear for long periods of time, which gives them an air of mystery."

At the Cullen's table, they softly chuckled at the description the new girl was given. After all, it's only natural considering what they are. They are a being talked about in many fantasy tales. Known for their taste for blood. Vampires, a creature of the night that feasts on humans. However, they in particular don't drink human blood

They went back to softly talking to each other, but a few minutes later something caught their attention. A soft voice echoed in their eardrums. It was enchanting and beautiful, it was like nothing they've ever heard of. They all simultaneously started looking around for the source of the pleasant sound when the new girl asked about someone else.

"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to a table where a boy sat by himself

"Oh! That's (Y/N), (L/N)! He doesn't talk much, but when he does, you can't help but feel so tranquil and at peace!"

That caught the vampire's attention, and they whipped their heads to where the brunette was pointing. Noticing that that was where the sound is coming from.

"What do you mean?"

"His voice is so soft, like silk! But it has a sort of firmness to it! That's not the only thing, though. He is so kind, adorable, and smart as well! He even helps who ask for him to tutor them. His personality makes everyone want to be around him!"

That rose some questions in the vampires heads. If he is that well-liked, why is no one sitting near him?

"Then why is he alone?"

~The vampires will have to thank the new girl for asking so many questions~

"Well, whenever people come near him, he gets anxious and tries to get away as soon as possible. Someone grabbed him on accident, and he started having a panic attack, falling to the ground, and hyperventilating."

The Cullen's were a little shocked when they heard this. That wasn't normal for sure

"Holy shit. Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was sent home early. But, some students saw his face as he was leaving and said that he looked terrified. We think something is going on where he lives, though we can't know for sure" she shrugged

"Once he came to school the next day, he was wearing long-sleeves. I thought it was weird considering he never wore them before, but the rest of the school shrugged it off as it being in the winter months making it reasonable. The person apologized the next day and (Y/N) just said it was fine, and he just likes being alone, so now that's what we do"

Right when the girl finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Making everyone get up and start to throw away their trash and head to class. All except one person...

"I don't think he heard the bell" Emmett said

"Gee, none of us would've guessed!" Rosalie responded, causing the other Cullen's to chuckle

Suddenly, Jasper's sight shifted to his wife Alice because he felt her stiffening up, a tell-tale sign of her power activating. The other vampires looked at her as well, waiting for her to relay what she saw. After a little bit she came to and, slowly, turned to Emmett grinning

"Emmett, why don't you go over and tell him class is about to start? Maybe even ask him to tutor you! We all know you need it." she remarked, still grinning

Starting to understand why she was acting like the way she was, Emmett sighed, wanting to protest, but he knew Alice's visions almost always came true, or they would end at the same conclusion.

He made his way over to where the boy was sitting

"Remember not to grab him!" Alice semi-shouted from where she was standing

Emmett waved her off, still approaching (Y/N)

He gently tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, making the smaller boy jump in surprise and what Emmett can only assume is fear

(Y/N) turned his head around fast enough to give him whiplash and that's when he met the golden eyes of the person that startled him

He took his earbud out before speaking, "I-Is there s-something I can do for you?" (Y/N) asked shakily

Emmett stood there for a moment. He had never seen someone so hot and cute at the same time. The girl was right, too. His voice is the embodiment of angelic. Emmett took this chance to take in all the boys features, from his soft (S/C) skin that reflected the light of the cafeteria. To his intoxicating (E/C) eyes that he could get lost in over and over again. Emmett felt a small pull to (Y/N), and he knew exactly what it meant.

“H-hello? Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked

“I-I um…class is about to start…”

(Y/N) looked at the time and blushed

“So it is…” (Y/N) stood up and started collecting his things “T-thanks for letting me know” (Y/N) stood to leave but was stopped as Emmett stood in front of him

“I was wondering if you could help me study for chemistry? I’m currently failing” Emmett chuckled, rubbing the back of his head

"I-I don't mind, where should we meet?"

"How about the Library after school?"

(Y/N) smiled the slightest bit "Sounds good, now if you don't mind I need to get to class" and with that (Y/N) left the cafeteria heading to his next class. Emmett slowly rejoined his family, still in awe from the recent interaction.

Jasper grinned from the emotions Emmett was emulating

"It seems Emmett is very interested in that guy"

"Hell yeah I am! Did you see him?!"

"We did" Edward answered him, "But"

"But what?" Emmett asked

"I can't read his mind, same with the new girl"

"Does that mean they're a supernatural?" Rosalie asked

"No, they aren't. The new girl is a weird case, but (Y/N) seems to just have fantastic mental walls and barriers. Which is concerning..."

"Then I'll have to break them" Emmett smirked

The rest of the Cullen's let out a collective sigh as they made their way to their respective classes. Still wondering what was going on with the mysterious (Y/N).

The final bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students started to funnel out of their classes and into the hallways. Emmett was waiting outside (Y/N)'s classroom, ready to head to the library.

After waiting awhile of waiting, (Y/N) came out of the classroom books and binder in hand

"Hey"

(Y/N) jumped and turned around to see Emmett, a look of relief claimed his face

"You ready to go?"

"Y-yeah"

As they made their way to the library, they made some just talked about their interests and things of that nature, eventually arriving at their destination. After they settled in their seats with the necessary books, they started the study session.

Emmett found it cute, they way (Y/N) would nervously try and help him understand the complex formula's and equations. After a few explanations, (Y/N) sat down and started to work on his homework. Unconsciously, (Y/N) started to sing to himself, making Emmett perk up and look at him.

"You're a good singer"

(Y/N) blushed, "Thanks...but others don't think so..."

"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett stood up, causing (Y/N) to jump a little, "Your voice is amazing!"

(Y/N) blushed at the praise he was given. He'd never been complimented before, so this was new to him.

"Thank you" (Y/N) smiled, making Emmett's cold and dead heart swell with something he's never felt before

"N-no problem" Emmett said before sitting down, and starting to work again, still thinking of that cute-ass smile

Soon, the sun started to set and that was their cue to wrap things up.

"Could you tutor me again tomorrow? If you're free, that is" Emmett asked

"Sure, I should be open. Meet here after school?"

"Deal"

"Then I'll see you tomorrow" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett before walking to his place

To say Emmett was giddy is an understatement. He was over the moon. Not only did he get to be tutored by his adorable mate, but he also got him to open up and be more relaxed around him! He made his way back to his own house and entered with his head still stuck in the clouds. Unaware of the fact that the whole family was sitting in the living room

"It seems that Emmett had an amazing time" Jasper couldn't help but let out his own smile from Emmett's emotions

"Something good happen, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, intrigued by Jasper's comment

"I think he's the one"

"The One?" Esme questioned

Alice snickered, clearly happy that her vision seemed to have came true

"My mate" Emmett replied, still thinking about the fun time he had studying with (Y/N)

"Congrats!! But, make sure you claim him before anyone else!" Esme explained

"He's not an object, Esme" Carlisle chastised

"I know, but humans may not understand their feelings"

"I just have to take things slow. I don't want to scare him off"

~Next Day at School~

"Hey (Y/N)!"

"Hmm? Oh, hey Emmett!" (Y/N) smiled sweetly

As Emmett got closer to (Y/N) he noticed a very distinct smell coming from the boy. "(Y/N) are you alright?" he asked concern lacing his voice

(Y/N) visibly tensed and started to shake slightly. "U-um ye-yeah? I'm f-fine"

Emmett was less than convinced. He needed to know who or what hurt his mate, so he could end it's pitiful existence, then and there. Though, he decided not to add anymore fuel to the fire...yet.

"If you say so. We should head to to class"

"Yeah"

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"If you still want to, then yes" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett causing him to absolutely gush at his adorableness

"Yep! Totally!" (Y/N) chuckled at Emmett's response

While heading to class they just talked about whatever was on their minds. Well, mostly Emmett since (Y/N) is a closed off little bean <3. But, that didn't stop either of them from enjoying themselves. Even once they where in class they softly whispered to each other. Their teacher didn't care much because (Y/N) is a model student and Emmett is a popular kid (you know those teachers that try and get in with the cool kids? Yeah, that's their teacher). When they went their seperate way's for their second block (Y/N) though that was it, like all of the other people he's tutored. He just thought Emmett was being kind and he'd see him after school for their study session. But he was proven wrong at lunchtime.

(Y/N) was eating by himself at a table listening to music and singing along softly when he felt vibrations coming from next to him. He looked over to not only see Emmett, but the whole Cullen entourage in tow. He was shocked to say the very least.

"Can we sit here?"

Collecting himself he responded with a soft "Yeah". The Cullen's then sat down, Emmett sitting on your right and Alice on your left. She squealed and looked twoards you "I've wanted to actually talk to you for a while now! Emmett talks about you and your singing too! I hope I can hear you one day!" This, this was how (Y/N).exe has stopped working. You where an embarassed blushing mess while looking at Emmett in mock betrayal. 'He talks about me?' you thought. He just smirked enjoying your cuteness.

"Ahh!!! He's soo adorable!!" Now you were a even darker red. Only provoking Alice more as she got slightly closer to you. You were about to curl in on yourself when you felt that you were being griped by the waist and pulled into a solid chest.

"Alice, your going to make him explode" Emmett said slightly, just slightly defensive

She laughed "My my what about you then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look down, bonehead" Rosalie butted in amused

Emmett did what she said and saw you an absolute wreck. If a cherry was a person it would be you at this point-

Now he was trying to compose himself. The sight of both of you made everyone at the table start chuckling. After that whole fiasco you got to know Emmett's family and started to enjoy their presence. Something you never really had the pleasure of experiencing...

Over the next few weeks, Emmett did everything he could to be even remotely close to (Y/N). They would do studying sessions at the library, and after they would get something to eat. Well, only (Y/N) did. He thought it was weird Emmett never ate anything, but Emmett assured (Y/N) that he was eating well. They would often go to parks and just have fun too. However, all fun things come to an end. When one day (Y/N) didn't show up to school. Emmett just thought (Y/N) got a cold, but soon days turned to weeks and he was getting worried. He didn't know where (Y/N) lived so he couldn't go to his house and see if he was alright, but one day Carlise came home a little later than usual which was not unnoticed by his family.

"You're back late" Esme commented

"Well there is a teenager in critical condition. He came in with severe lacerations all over his body and what seemed to be marks of repeated tramua as well. He came in a couple of weeks ago and was in a coma until he flatlined earlier this morning" Carlise took off his doctor coat and placed it on the chair making his way to Esme. As he stood next to her he looked over to see his "children" with wide eyes

"Is something wrong?" Carlise asked a bit worried

"When did that patient come into the hospital?" Emmett asked urgently

"(Date). Why?"

With that all of the vampires stood up and started to get ready to go to the hospital

"What's wrong? Where are you guys going?" Esme asked

"That's most likely my mate" Emmett replied, making it clear he was irritated

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Esme rushed everyone out the door and to the hospital

At the hospital, they made their way to the room (Y/N) was at. Once there, Carlisle motioned for Emmett to enter first. Emmett went in and was shocked by what he saw. (Y/N) had many tubes attached to him. His body was wrapped in bandages and his breathing was hitching. Emmett walked over to the resting (Y/N) and reached out for his hand, grasping it softly. He rubbed his thumb over the boy's knuckles in a reassuring manner, then sat down next to the bed, still holding (Y/N)'s hand. He could only think about how much he failed his mate. How could he let this happen? He knew there was something going on, but he did nothing? He turned a blind eye to it all. How can he face (Y/N) when he wakes up? Emmett's thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice

"Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that" Emmett replied

"I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

With that, Emmett's world stopped. Boyfriend? How? Why? Was I to late? Emmett turned to (Y/N) conflicted, but that's when he saw the heart monitor. His heart rate was not that high a while ago.

"Can you leave me with my boyfriend?" (B/F/N) asked harshly

Emmett reluctantly stood up and made his way to the door, but not before taking one last look at (Y/N). Once he was out of the room, Emmett started walking down the hallway back to his family.

"Who was that guy that went in there?" Rosalie went up to Emmett

"Apparently, he's (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

The Cullen's looked at Emmett in sadness and pity, but they noticed something

"You don't seem that bothered about it" Jasper said

"Well, before he came in, (Y/N)'s heart rate was normal, but when he spoke his heart rate rose"

"So, you think-"

"Yeah, his 'boyfriend' must've done that to him"

"That's awful" Esme covered her mouth in shock

"We can't really do anything if we don't have proof though" Alice said irritated

"Then we'll just have to get some" Emmett smirked, making the other Cullen's nod

They made their plan's and put them on hold until you were sent home. In the meantime, Emmett came to visit whenever your 'boyfriend' was never there and if he was, Carlisle was keeping a closer eye on you than normal. He also noticed that (B/F/N) would only ever sit in the chair across the room and when he would glance at you a look of disgust would be present on his face. This further solidified his resolve to get you out of that situation.

~A few days later while Emmett is visiting you~

"We're going to help you (Y/N), Everything will be better soon" Emmett reassured the sleeping male whilst holding his hand. He then felt (Y/N) clench his hand and looked up to see those beautiful (E/C) orbs opening

"Em-"

"Shh, don't strain yourself yet" Emmett stood up and pressed the 'call' button just above (Y/N)'s head before sitting back down

"Where-"

"The hospital...can you tell me what happened to you?"

After a brief pause, (Y/N) shook his ever so slightly

"That's fine, just tell me when you're ready" Emmett smiled sweetly. He saw (Y/N)'s face contort into sadness as he started crying. "I-I'm sorry f-for worrying you" (Y/N) choked out between sobs. Emmett couldn't see him cry like this, so he started to comfort and reassure the other male. "You'll be okay...I won't let you get hurt anymore..."

A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry it took way longer than I said! I will now be working on the requests I have gotten and a new series I've conjured up ;)By my little Otaku's!!

[sunookkii]

hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

[chrys-uki]

Blood-stained petals, won't you pull me close?

!! HEADER CREDS TO ARTIST ;; ART IS NOT MINE !!

ANOTHER NOTE !! my ask box is open for the next week, feel free to requesting any pairing, prompt and/or setting, and i will write it for you asap! do let me know if you're okay with me posting it publicly <3

(Chapter 5) !! this is a fic done by me under the name tadashibean on ao3 !! angst, hurt/comfort, i like seeing vox suffer hehe ♡

!! TW !! Detailed descriptions of SH and panic attacks and blood !!

Vox Akuma x Shoto, Nijisanji EN's 4th wave; Luxiem ♡

Happy reading~

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

After stumbling down the stairs clumsily, with soft giggles bouncing off the wooden planks and walls, the pair somehow ended up in the kitchen, an amazing fragrance diffusing into the air.

Almost as if on cue, Vox’s stomach grumbled softly. The thought of food seemed heavenly to the demon, and so he immediately made a beeline for the counter, taking a seat at the barstools he bought, thanking the heaven’s he did not pass up on those stools.

As Shoto turned away to fix up a plate for him, Vox could not help but stare at his hands, watching and inspecting the dry, pale skin, edges peeling off as a sign of his withering frame. He wondered how long he would last against this disease — how long until the flowers bloomed in his chest at the expense of his life. 

A lump formed in his throat, and he felt his chest get heavier as tears filled his vision. He needed to feel something. 

⚠⚠ TW: SH ⚠⚠

He needed to feel something, and he will be damned if that something just so turned out to be glass shards pressing into his knuckles or the sharp sting of a blade running across his wrists. 

⚠⚠ TW END ⚠⚠

Vox shook his head violently. 

He needed to be in control of himself — He needed to not break down, or do anything stupid because Shoto was right there, right in front of him. His eyes darted across the room, his fingers picking at the edges and hangnails. Why was he here again? 

Oh right, Shoto brought him here.

Shoto…

Vox looked up to see Shoto turning around, the smile on the latter’s face faltering as he looked at Vox’s reduced state of misery. The demon could not tear his eyes away, even though he knew he should. 

He knew he should wipe his eyes and blow his nose, waving off the other’s concerns and say he is fine, because he is absolutely fucking peachy. He knew he should crack his knuckles, force out a ghost of a laugh and let his cheeks tug into a forceful smile, swallowing down the painful lump in his throat. 

But he could not.

It all happened too fast.

In an instant, Vox’s lower lip started to wobble as his breaths steadily increased in pace. He bit his lip to stop it from trembling, but that only seemed to instigate the nerves further. One action turned into two and Vox could not breathe. He felt the fear washing over him; fear that he did not know he had of dying, dying in such a cruel, unfortunate way. It was a good way to go, he supposed, but he did not want to die; not before he saw Shoto happy with someone else, someone better than him, more trust-worthy than him — someone who would treat him right. His chest was hurting and his eyes were burning and his head was spinning, and he absolutely hated, absolutely despised the fact that Shoto had to see him like this — so weak, so pathetic, so broken and ill and so, so messed up.

He could vaguely feel the strain in his white knuckles as he gripped the counter for his dear life, each shaky breath stabbing needles into his already bloodied and bruised lungs, and Vox did not know if he was going to live at that moment. 

⚠⚠ TW: SH ⚠⚠

He wanted to claw his throat out, he wanted to bang his head against the counter till either his skull shatters and he dies, or until he was bleeding profusely and he passes out. He wanted to dig his nails into his eyes and rip them out of their sockets, and a sensible part of Vox knew that was not what he should do.

⚠⚠ TW END ⚠⚠

His blurred eyes blindly searched the room for anything, anything he could use to ground himself, to stop himself from trembling inside and out because goddamnit these vibrations from his shaking limbs were painful and he needed it to stop, it needs to stop, he wants it to stop, please get it to fucking stop.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. He needs it to stop- he does not want to spiral, he does not.

His cheek collided with a hard surface, his hands immediately letting go of the counter to grip onto the soft fabric, his breathing shaky as he felt himself curl towards the warmth. A hand found its way to his hair and was carding through it gently, and Vox shivered as sobs wracked his frail body, his chest heaving from the weight of his sorrow and pain. A warmth surrounded him, wrapping around his shoulders and rubbing soft circles onto his shoulder blades. 

He could hear his own cries and wails echo in the kitchen, hurriedly trying to suppress the pitiful sounding cries to no avail, the plated food long forgotten and cold. He wished this warmth would stay with him for eternity. He wished this warmth could fill him up when he was empty and soothe his healed wounds and battle scars with the same soft touch that he was being administered. He wanted it, god he wanted it so bad, and it only pushed the knife in his chest to think that this would certainly never be his to have.

Vox felt like it had been hours since he was enveloped in that warmth. He sniffed inelegantly, exhaustion washing over him in tidal waves as he sighed heavily, nuzzling further into the fabric, purposely avoiding the wet patch.

Wait…fabric?

The demon jerked his head up to look at the source of the warmth, meeting Shoto’s sad yet loving gaze. Loving…?

He pressed a pale wrist to his spinning head, light-headed from all the crying as he looked up at Shoto, uncaring of how he looked. He opened and closed his mouth, wanting to find any plausible explanations to what had just happened when a pair of soft lips pressed against the skin of his forehead fleetingly, rendering him speechless.

Tears welled up in Shoto’s beautiful purple eyes, and he pulled Vox closer to his chest, fingers tangled in red-streaked black hair, massaging comfortingly.

“It’s okay Vox; I have you,” Shoto whispered brokenly against the demon’s temple, and Vox let himself have this moment, curling further into the other’s touch, gripping onto the other’s shirt so tightly he worried it might tear.   

The demon watched as tears slid down his love’s plump cheeks, staining the pure skin. His hand moved before he could think, gently cupping the demon slayer’s cheeks as he brushed the tears off lightly, making him painfully aware of the sticky feeling of dried tears on his own cheeks.

Shoto shot him a shaky yet blinding smile, and Vox felt fondness bubble underneath his skin. He tugged the other’s collar gently, pulling him down and watched, silently amused as Shoto complied immediately, inches away from the demon’s face. 

He slowly leant up, pressing his lips to the other’s forehead and pulling away almost immediately, watching as Shoto’s face bloomed into a beautiful shade of crimson. A soft squeak poured out of the other’s lips, and Vox decided that, yeah, he does want to swallow all of the demon slayer’s noises with his kisses.

He watched as Shoto leaned back, his hands still wrapped around the demon’s shoulders, eyes darting across the room. It was a beautiful sight to Vox; it was one thing to hear them, and another to see it for himself, just how adorable the other got when he was all flustered.

“Vox, the food,” the demon slayer said, prompting the demon to take a look at the plate.

There were two waffles stacked on top of each other, with chopped blueberries and strawberries adorning the top, honey drizzled enticingly over the whole dish. A simple yet fulfilling breakfast. Something itched at Vox, though.

“How did you know I love waffles?”

And oh god, Vox wishes he could burn this side of Shoto into memory. 

Red creeped up Shoto’s neck and face, reaching all the way to the tips of his ears, where the shade was more prominent. The shorter male fiddled a lot more with his fingers and pushed back sweater paws (why does that sweater look familiar-), the floor seemingly more interesting now. Pearly white teeth dug into the soft flesh of his lips, peeling the skin off of it absentmindedly, which then prompted Vox to cup his cheek once more, brushing a featherlight touch over the other’s bottom lip.

He rubbed the lip gently, causing Shoto to finally stop worrying the plump flesh. He hummed softly, gently pushing Shoto away as he stood up, stretching like a feline, his hand coming up to rub his stomach once more, warmth blooming into his joints. 

“Well, we could have the waffles with ice cream for dessert. For now though…Takeout?”

—————————————————————

i am slowly but surely perishing in the most saddest way possible /j

anyway, agenda for next post (which will be around end this week/ next week)

ANOTHER NOTE !! my ask box is open for the next week, feel free to requesting any pairing, prompt and/or setting, and i will write it for you asap! do let me know if you're okay with me posting it publicly <3

1) the lucake / luca x ike fic i've written halfway

2) the next chapter of this beautiful fic

3) maybe an aster x ren (late) birthday fic

4) psyborg fluff because i need to cure my soul

Happy stargazing, readers~! till the stars conjoin us again~

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

[plsimsuchasimp]

cheating pt. 2

part 1 here

Ft: Suna Rintarou x !gn reader, a little bit of atsumu miya x !gn reader

Genre/warnings: hurt/comfort, brief mention of fighting, panic attack, angst to fluff

Wc: 2.6k

NOT PROOFREAD!

The morning after you broke up with Suna, you wake up with a sour taste in your mouth, hugging a pillow. Momentarily disoriented, you look around your room until you spot your phone, and it all comes crashing down.

Oh no. Your chest tightens when you see 41 missed calls from Suna and 118 unread text messages over the course of the night. You'd fallen asleep with your phone set to silent, crying into your pillow at the immense betrayal.

Slowly, you unlock your phone to see increasingly frantic messages from Suna, begging you to forgive him and take him back. Ten new voicemails. You shouldn't press it, shouldn't listen to his voice. But you do.

"Y/N," immediately, your heart cracks at the sound of his voice. He sounds so desperate, so frantic, tears clinging to the words. "I'm so, so, sorry. You have every right to be mad at me, every right to hate me. I hate myself too, and I'll never forgive myself for doing that. I-I just wanted you to know that I-" the recording becomes quieter, only the faint sniffles picked up on it. "I love you."

It ends there, and you freeze. He'd never told you he loved you before, skipping over it whenever you jokingly mentioned the future. You knew he was scared of commitment, but it still hurt whenever he ignored it. A particular memory from two weeks ago floods your mind, no matter how hard you try to push it away.

You were lying on Suna's bed, resting your head against his chest as he scrolled through the videos he wanted to upload to Worldstar. His arm was slung around you, his lips pulled up in a smirk, his green eyes flicking from the phone to you and back again. It was comfortable, a lazy Sunday with the sun just beginning to set behind his curtains. You nestled further into his chest, his heartbeat regular and reassuring. You let your eyes drift closed, basking in the warmth of his affection.

Almost too soft for him to hear, half hoping he wasn't listening, you whisper "I love you." He stiffens, and you know you messed up. His heart skips a beat, and he pretends like he didn't hear you. You swallow, embarrassed that he didn't say it back, but neither of you moves until Suna gets up, saying he has to use the restroom. He doesn't come back for a while, and when he does, he mutters something about it getting late (it was barely 6 pm) and how he'd forgotten that he had to do something today. Taking the cue, you took your stuff and left, silently cursing yourself for saying it before he was ready. Things had been awkward the next few days, with him responding less and less frequently and seeming more distant and cold.

Come to think of it, it was right before he started acting strange.

oh.

Pressing a shaking hand to your mouth, you squeezed your eyes shut. Was that why?

Before you could sink deeper into your thoughts, you heard a knock at the door of your bedroom. The door opens to reveal Atsumu, standing awkwardly in your door frame. Yelping, you bring the bedcovers up to cover yourself, forgetting that you’re still wearing your clothes from last night. “How did you get in here?!”

He blushes, eyes flickering around your room and refusing to land on you. “Yer mom told me where the spare key was.”

You sighed, and he came over and sat on your bed, looking at his feet placed on the floor. “Ya okay?” he asked, voice low. That wasn’t what you’d expected. It was rare for Atsumu to be serious, rare for his brow to be furrowed so severely.

“Well, that’s debatable,” you said, scoffing a little. He nodded, eyes still fixed on the floor.

“I saw Suna last night,” he blurted out.

“You did?” Your eyebrows lift, surprised at his uncharacteristic behavior.

“I punched him,” he admits, lifting his head. “I was just too angry at him for hurting ya.”

Then it was your turn to look at the floor, not responding to this statement. What were you supposed to say, anyway? You sit in awkward silence, waiting for Atsumu to gather his thoughts and speak again.

“He’s in love with ya, ya know,” he says quietly. “That’s why it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why would he cheat on me if he loves me?” you ask, lip quivering slightly. You noticed the tense of the word; is. Not was. He sighs in frustration, shoulders slumping.

“I don’t know.” Seemingly debating on whether to say something, he decided to anyways, “He just let me hit him.”

“What?”

“He just stood there when I punched him, didn’t even punch back or anything. He just looked so sad, ya know?”

“Sad?” you scoff. “He was the one who decided to do it.” He nodded, knowing you’re right.

“I don’t really know why I came here,” he admitted. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Aren’t ya missing class right now?”

“I’m not going today,” you mutter. He understood. Silently, he got up and left the room, and you heard the door shut short afterward, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

It wasn’t raining anymore, but the clouds still clung dark and heavy, low to the mountains and shrouding the distant buildings. Puddles shone on the ground, the leaves outside your window glistening with raindrops.

It hurt. It hurt so badly, the confusion and anger and sadness all combined. The truth was, you still loved Suna, and apparently, he loved you. Falling back onto your pillow, you felt like crying, but the tears wouldn’t come. Your eyes were dry, the pain finally internalized. The good memories of your time with Suna came then, flooding your mind and squeezing your heart.

The first time you two kissed, in a parking lot of a 7/11  at two in the morning. His lips tasted like soda, the sweet fizz almost intoxicating. It was a quick kiss, feeling him smile against your lips and seeing the smirk on his face when he pulled away.

Watching the stars together from the roof of a building on a moonless night, offering you his jacket when he noticed you were cold. You fell asleep in his arms that night, the cool winter air brushing your cheeks and inciting him to hold you just a little bit closer.

The playful insults exchanged, the banter slowly turning into backhanded compliments, and then sweet nothings whispered in your ear.

The warm, enveloping hugs, although somewhat rare- he would hold you, one arm on the small of your back and the other caressing the back of your neck.

The skeptical look on his face when you took him to the grocery store, fully intending to make a new dish you’d seen on TV with him. Not noticing the softness in his eyes as he watched you, your excitement contagious in his smile.

The teasing he endured because of you. The day you walked into the gym, bringing him a homemade bento, the boys had teased him relentlessly. He didn’t mind, because it made you happy.

All of that was gone now, and the miserable aching in your heart was a constant reminder of it. You let sleep take you away again, the pain in your expression being smoothed away by the gentle lull. When Suna slipped into your room using the same key Atsumu had failed to properly hide, he saw you curled up, hugging a pillow in your sleep, a small crease marking your forehead. He always said you looked angelic in your sleep.

“Suna…” you murmured, shifting slightly, and his eyes grew sad at how you grimaced slightly at his name.

He made his way to your desk chair, sitting down silently and grabbing a piece of paper from the desk along with a pencil, beginning to write.

When you awoke to the sound of a pencil scratching paper, it took you a second to register that there was someone else in your room. You screamed, clutching your pillow until you recognized Suna.

His eyes found yours, and the guilt and shame in them were almost overwhelming. You looked away, clenching your jaw. The pencil fell from his hand, seeming to fall in slow motion until it hit and bounced off of the floor, clattering once, twice, and then three times before rolling away from his foot.

“Get out,” you whisper.

“Can we just talk about this-” he rushes, standing up and impulsively moving closer to you.

“I said get out!” You yell, flinching away from his touch as if it’s some sort of deadly disease. His face falls, and he withdraws his hand, swallowing hard. “What is there to talk about? You cheated. It’s not a mistake. It’s a choice, and you chose to break my heart!” You look at him, anger and pain mixing in your eyes, and he finally gets it. You’re not coming back. He ruined it with an impulse decision, a reckless choice in the face of his fear of commitment and the overwhelming feelings that he didn’t know how to deal with.

The day you told him you loved him, he froze only because he didn’t know what to do. He’d gotten up, gone to the bathroom, and sunk down the door, back straight and head tilted towards his knees. This had never happened to him before- every time he’d been with a girl, he’d never felt like this. Was it love? He already knew he messed up by not saying it back, but his emotions were confusing, distracting, almost frightening. He’s taken his mind off of it by falling into a stranger’s arms that night, reassuring himself that he was still the same old Suna, the one who didn’t need anyone.

God, how he hated himself for that. Tears welled up in his eyes against his will, and he stared down at the floor.

“Why are you still here?” You spoke, back turned to him, “I thought I told you I didn’t want to talk to you.” Your words stung, you knew they did, but you didn’t really care. The paper in his hand fluttered to the floor, almost inaudibly brushing across the wood. His bottom lip quivered, and the tear that clung to his eyelash slipped silently down his face, making his green eyes appear even brighter than normal.

Thunder crashed outside your window, and Suna froze, his sharp intake of breath making you turn. He looked petrified- his entire body seemed to be shrinking into itself, his hands trembling and clenched, his eyes wide with unmistakable fear in them.

“Suna?” You got up from your place on the bed, curious as to what was happening, then remembered. Suna had a crippling fear of thunderstorms. “Suna. Suna, hey, look at me.” You waved a hand in front of his face, but he just started shaking harder, his breathing getting faster. Gripping him by the shoulders, you gently pushed him towards your bed and helped him sit down, your brow furrowing. “Can I touch you?” you asked gently, receiving the smallest of nods in return. You sat beside him and started rubbing his back, gently holding him closer to you. Thunder triggering a panic attack had only happened twice before, but you were familiar with how to help him through it. “I’m going to go close the curtains now.” Almost methodically talking him through your movements in an attempt to distract him from the thunder growing louder outside, you went to close the curtains and turned on your bedside lamp. “Tell me how I can help.”

He struggled to speak, his breath turning into short hyperventilations until you sat down next to him and started breathing loudly and evenly, hoping he would hear you and try to match his breathing. To your surprise, he turned to you and hugged you, burying his face in your chest and huddling close to your body. Stiff at first, you slowly wrapped your arms around him and rocked back and forth, whispering into his ear that it was almost over and he would get through it. You could feel his back shuddering, trying to maintain control of his breathing and failing. Out of instinct, you rested your cheek on his shoulder, staring at the picture of you two that still rested on your nightstand, and you felt his breathing gradually slow. Soon, he stopped shaking, but he still clung to you as if you were his life raft in a tumultuous storm.

It wasn’t until you felt wetness on your shirt that you pulled back, concerned, only to see tears dripping down Suna’s face. He instantly missed your warmth, your smell, the feeling of you holding him, but he knew it would be selfish of him to try to pull you back in.

You didn’t speak, eyes flickering from him down to the blanket underneath you. Your anger was gone now, and as hard as you tried to hate him, looking at the vulnerability displayed on his face melted the resolve you had.

“You look terrible,” you say, eyes wandering over his disheveled hair and puffy eyes.

“I didn’t sleep last night,” he responds, and you instantly feel awkward.

“I-I’m sorry,” you mumble, unsure of what to say. He just shrugs, gazing downwards.

“About what I said in the voicemail.” At these words, you freeze. “I meant it, and I’m so sorry for not saying it earlier.”

You turn away from him, eyes burning, as you feel a lump in your throat. “If you love me, why did you do it?”

His words die in his throat because that’s what he’s been wondering this whole time. If he loved you, why did he do it? “I-I did it because I was scared.”

“Scared?” you spit, pain lacing your words, “Scared? Do you know how terrified I was to tell you? I know that you’re scared of commitment, I know that it’s hard for you to express your feelings, but do you have any idea how many hours I spent wondering if you even liked me anymore? If you even cared at all?” Hot tears spill down your face, your lips quivering as you tip your head back and stare at the ceiling. Quieter, you say, “Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep because of you? No, you don’t. But I still believed in us, I really thought it could work, and you threw it all away because you were scared?”

You shook your head, and he stared at you, hating that he made you feel like this. “I had no idea,” he rasps, voice husky from the breath caught in his throat. “When you told me you loved me, I realized I loved you too. I’d never felt like that before, and I was scared of my own feelings, so I wanted-” He stopped, unsure of how to continue. “I needed to distract myself.”

Each word stings, a knife stabbing into your back, as the tears fall harder and faster. You look up at him and see there are tears streaming down his face too, the shame too much for him to bear.

“I would do anything for you to come back.” His voice breaks, becoming breathier as his shoulders begin to shake again. “Please.”

In one swift movement, you pulled him close to you, and it was your turn to huddle into his chest as you sobbed. Just for a second, just for a moment, just to feel his touch again, but he wrapped his arms around you tightly and didn’t let you go. Clinging to each other, you shared the pain.

“If we can move past this,” you mumbled, face pressed against his shirt, breathing in his scent, “you can’t ever do something like that again.”

“No, no, of course not,” he assured you, voice thick with emotion, “I promise I’ll be so much better. I’ll try to give you everything you deserve.” 

He pulls away and looks at you, drinking in your face, before pressing a soft, hesitant kiss to your lips. When you reciprocate, he kisses you harder, with more passion, holding you as if he can’t let you go. “Thank you,” he mumbles against your lips, and you feel the pain and anger and worry seep out of him.

It was going to be okay. a/n: i’m not really sure about this one, but i hope you guys enjoyed! sorry for the major angst, lmao also tiny reminder my requests are open even tho i kinda suck at them

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [1] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, super duper mild angst, slice of life, josei, bad comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, very,very mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT BECAUSE NANAMI DESERVES HAPPINESS)

Notes: after repeatedly giving you jjk angst, i have been very happy to announce that i am able to write something fluffy now. Yay! (Anyways this is based on the manga sesame salt and pudding, yall better read that. It’s just *chefs kiss*) also this may or may not be written ebcause of the amount of smoll nanami content i’m seeing around this site hmPH 

masterlist  || taglist || [next  ; updates every friday]

The sound of your alarm blared at the crack of dawn, making you immediately jerk up in an unfashionable manner, you shouldn’t drink on Sunday nights. Good lord,  why did you even do that?-

Your thoughts are cut short though when you feel something, better yet, someone, next to you. It’s dark but you could definitely tell that whoever this stranger is, had settled himself quite comfortably by your side. You blink once then twice then slowly reached out to switch your lamp open to get a good look on who was next to you.

Thankfully, you’re still in your clothes from last night.

Also, who the fuck is this?

Your brows are furrowed together as you try to remember who this person was. Blonde hair and jaw so sharp that it could probably cut the vegetables on your kitchen counter, some fine lines littered his face as he wrinkled his forehead in his sleep.

The tie on his neck is loose as you slowly peered to observe him even more and for some odd reason that made your ears turn bright red as you check out his rather lean figure (he wasn’t overly muscular, he was just right)

“Oh shit.” You mumbled, snapping out of your daze, you had to focus! This was a stranger for crying out loud, “Who the-”

Before you could even say anything more, his eyes shot open and you’re greeted by chocolate brown eyes. You try to stutter out a reply, clearly in your frazzled state the only thing you could let out was, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” his voice was deep and quite raspy, and daresay, it suited his rather sharp appearance.

Was this stranger awake this whole time that you were gawking at him under the dim light? Your ears turn even a brighter shade of pink. Was it just the heater or was this room getting hotter than it should be?

Yet despite your flustered state though, he thankfully remains oblivious, “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Despite his bland facial expression, there was a certain warmth in his tone and that made your heart beat quicken. It wasn’t everyday that you’d wake up to find a good looking older gentleman next to you after all, “I’m good…” You shyly replied, the confidence you had moments ago while you were cursing him was gone when you heard his soft tone, “I- sorry but who are you? What happened?”

He stares at you for a moment and purses his lips, “Nanami Kento.” he introduces himself briefly. From the likes of it, he seemed like a professional, “To be honest, I don’t have much recollection from last night due to the alcohol. When I woke up a few moments ago, you wouldn’t let go and I had no choice but to lay there and wait for you to wake up.”

You paled just a bit at his explanation and turned bright red right after, how embarrassing! Not only did you just embarrass yourself in front of this older gentleman awhile ago, you did something so unlike you last night! Thank god this ojisan was a lot more calmer than you. He didn’t even look that perplexed or annoyed by your state at all.

He runs his hands through his soft blonde hair after and lets out a low groan.

“D-Does your head hurt, Nanami-san?”

“Yes.”

“I-would you-” you tried to stammer a few words out yet you're immediately cut off by his phone ringing.

Right, boundaries. You shouldn’t overstep them since you already did so much last night to disturb him despite you two being so out of it. You watch him as he answers his cell phone in a quick and suave manner, all traces of hungover gone, “Nanami speaking.” He greets as soon as he answers the call, “I understand. Please try to help them out and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He ends the call and stands up, tightening his tie. Despite him spending the night here, he still looked orderly and it’s so unfair because right now, you knew you looked like absolute shit with the alcohol and booze in your system.

“I have to take my leave now. I apologize for intruding.” he bows down formally.

You’re pretty sure you were the one who intruded, his actions makes you immediately stand up despite the throbbing headache which was definitely a wrong move because the moment you did, you felt your legs giving out.

Great.

“I-sorry, I would bow…” You tried to stammer out an apology, ears bright red once again, just how much could you embarrass yourself in front of this gentleman?  “Sorry for the intrusion too Nanami-san.”

He leaves without saying anything much to your relief and as soon as you hear your front door close, you scream right at the pillow.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You muffled at the pillow.

Thank God you wouldn’t be seeing him ever again!

“L/N-sensei.”

You turn to find Maki and Megumi standing there, they were members of a rather elite family in Tokyo, Most often you avoided bumping shoulders with Megumi’s father since he was, well, quite a tease and although you do admit that Toji Zen’in is a very good-looking and fine man from a very good background, you couldn’t look past the fact that you taught his kids mathematics and there was a good fifteen year age gap between you two, “Hi there.” A warm smile dances on your lips, “Is this about the earlier math problem again?”

The question was directed to Maki, Megumi wasn’t one to ask questions about his lessons since he wasn’t fond of academics.

“Actually, it isn’t. Toji-ojisan says you should come to his birthday.” Maki shrugged, “He says his 40th birthday wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t there.”

Ah, that’s why Megumi didn’t want to go alone. The young boy’s cheeks are painted pink, clearly embarrassed by his father’s antics, “Ah,” You laughed, trying to play it cool. Despite his father’s relentless teasing, he had never made you feel uncomfortable. If he hadn’t been asking you out a few times, you’d consider him a friend, “Your otosan does love to joke around a lot doesn’t he, Megumi-kun?”

“I could deck him for you if you’d like, sensei. I swear that old man needs to realize that you’re way too young and good for him.” He mumbles the last part, clearly annoyed.

“Oh have you gotten married, L/N-sensei?” Maki cuts her younger cousin off suddenly, clearly surprised, “I thought you never had a boyfriend..or girlfriend...or a lover…”

“I- excuse me?” You sweatdrop, “Married, where?”

“Am I mistaken? You have a silver band on your ring finger at your left hand.” Maki points out, “Congrats sensei! It seems like Toji-ojisan won’t be bothering you anymore!”

You were too much in a frazzled state this morning that you hadn’t even noticed the ring band on your finger. You weren’t married, heck, you haven’t dated since college but where in the hell did you get this ring?

“L/N-san?” You’re snapped back to reality by a coworker, “We have two new enrollees, would you mind handling them since they’ll be added to your section?”

“Right,” You smile, “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll get going now. Enjoy your snack time.”

Before Maki could say anything more about the silverband on your ring finger, you scurried away to the faculty room, shaking that weird feeling off since you had to get back to work. 

Job first, ring later.

As you went in, two abnormally bleached pink hair stood out and you could immediately tell that they were going to be the new kids that you’d be teaching. You walk closer, realizing how much they looked alike despite the markings on the other.

“Hi, Good morning.” You greeted kindly, “You must be the new kids.”

“Ah,” the one with tattoo markings on his face gloated, “Aren’t you too bright?”

“Sukuna, shut up.” his twin frowned, “Sorry Sensei, My brother isn’t feeling so well since our ojisan had told us off before going to school.”

It seemed like the other twin would be a handful, nevertheless, you were still going to be his teacher so you let out a small smile, “It’s fine.” You waved off, “We all have bad days, don’t we? I’m L/N-sensei and I’ll be your homeroom and math teacher.”

“Hai.” The one without tattoos replied, enthusiasm leaking on his tone, “Itadori Yuuji and this is Itadori Sukuna, please take care of us.”

You watch Yuuji force his twin to bow down to show a sign of respect. For a high schooler, Sukuna and Yuuji’s parents seemed so lax, bleached hair and tattoos? That was definitely a first one on your list. You take a look at the data they passed and a small frown settles on your lips, it seemed like you had to take back the words you said earlier.

Both their parents had died a few years ago.

You cleared your throat and tried to put on the smile and enthusiasm from earlier, “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the class right after break and since it’s your first day I’ll be lax but please try not to go in late again.”

Yuuji’s grin remains the same as he agrees enthusiastically while Sukuna still looks mildly uninterested, something that you realize oh-so quickly that you’ll have to get used to.

After introducing the twins to the class, you settle on your desk at the faculty and peer at the ring on your finger. The only conclusion you could come up with was that this was from the older gentleman from the night before but why would he even give you a ring?

It didn’t even look cheap and it was surprisingly just your size, meaning it was definitely for you.

You inwardly let out a groan as you placed your hand on top of your eyes. God, you definitely needed to lay off the alcohol next time. You feel the phone in your pocket start to ring, peerlessly glancing at the unknown number. People really need to lay off the scam calls.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m not-”

“Yo-ho, is this Y/N-chan?” The voice on the other line is so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Is your husband with you?” the voice sounds so playful and teasing that you almost ignore what he had just said earlier.

“E-Excuse me?” You sputtered out, cheeks turning red, “I don’t have a husband.”

“Huh…” the playful voice switches to disappointment, “Don’t tell me you forgot what happened with us last night, L/N-chan.”

You feel something bubbling on your stomach, oh no, this definitely didn’t sound good!

“I- wait, what? who are you? What do you mean? what happened?” countless of questions started to pile up in your head and out of your mouth, panic immediately engulfing you because for a prank call this guy sounded way too legit, confirming your irresponsibility the night before. 

“Silly Y/N-chan. How could you ever forget me? I’m such an important person! I’m Gojo Satoru, your witness from your wedding!” 

taglist (if crossed out, i cant tag u im so sorry ack ;-;)

 ; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil​  ; @shephard17895​   @kristineyoshaii​ ; @airybnb​​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ;    ; ​

[sunshine-on-my-mind]

Home, finally

one-shot

pairing: Andy Barber x Reader

description: Andy find comforts in someone when almost the whole world is against him. The bond grows stronger between them.

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: ANGST!! Fluff, Emotional infidelity (??), age gap (not specified) talk of divorce, crying, broken marriage.

a/n: I have worked hard on this one, hope you all like this, do reblog if you enjoy reading this. Any feedback is appreciated. This is my second work so I am not even sure if I am doing an okay job but I somehow got this idea and just wanted to write about it.

i do not own the characters Andy, Jacob and Laurie.

PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK OR POST IT ANYWHERE.

I made the moodboard and the divider.

The knock on the door brings back Andy to reality, in a way it saves him from his thoughts. “Sir, are you busy?” her voice calms him, he asks her to come in. “Sir, it’s pretty late, maybe you should call it a day?” It is pretty late, how did it slip his mind? Maybe because his mind is a hollow place right now and ironically filled with so many thoughts.

“Right it’s late, I was actually going through these files” he picks up the file closest to him “Those?” she worries about him, she approaches his desk. “Yeah these, i-“ she interrupts him “Sir, that has been solved at least a month ago”. Andy doesn’t know what to say, well it’s not like he needs to say anything, she understands. Even though Y/n has been his assistant just for a year, she has learned a lot about the respectable ADA Andy Barber. Although the recent turn of events have changed everything. With his son, Jacob been accused of murder and the trial going on, Andy is hardly himself. Each passing day he seems to lose himself gradually and everything else. She genuinely cares about his well-being.

After a minute of silence Andy looks at her, “You should have left, it’s pretty late.”

She smiles. Such a warm smile, Andy feels good for a second, that smile seems like sunshine filled with hope, a reassuring smile.

“I wouldn’t be a very good assistant if I would leave when my boss is working so late, right?”

“I am sorry I didn’t even check the time” The truth is he doesn’t want to check the time, he feels like a failure, and going home will just remind him that. Is it his home anymore though? Doesn’t feel like it.

“You should go home now Y/n”

“What about you? It’s pretty late you should go home too.”

“I think I’ll stay here a little longer”

“I- I don’t want to leave you alone”

Andy doesn’t know how to react, recently he has been so stressed, so self-critical that one ounce of kindness and care seems unbelievable to him. But she, she cares for him, besides being a great assistant, she is a kind and supportive human. Andy thought she may leave the job as his assistant, but she didn’t, sometimes her words ring in his mind - ‘everything will be alright’. Sometimes he just re-plays that in his head.

“Alright then” Andy gives a barely there smile, “I’ll wrap up everything and then we can leave together” She nods and goes out of his cabin to wait for him. Andy is about to leave when his phone rings. It’s Laurie.

“Yeah” Andy says. On the other side, Laurie asks about him being late, says she is scared and nervous and Andy is being very irresponsible. “Listen I got caught up” He tries to stay calm. Laurie scoffs saying what can be more important than his son and his trial. “What do you think I am doing huh? All I do is think about Jacob, try to investigate things on my own as much as I can, I constantly worry about him okay? I may not be the best husband but I try my best to be a good father. I am trying everything I can.” He almost yells. Y/n can hear the muffled voice from outside. Before huffing and hanging up the call, Laurie doesn’t fail to mention that he should have been a better father. He bangs his fist loudly on the desk, he cannot take it more, he- “Sir? are you okay?” she comes without knocking, she got scared. Andy stares at her. “Do I- do I look okay? no. Am I okay? no. Does it matter? no.” He says a bit loud, she stands near the door. “Sir, I-I just want to help. I am sorry” and with that Andy tells her to leave, before she could say anything he repeats himself. “Go home Y/n” She nods and leaves his office.

She is standing outside, trying to book a cab, it’s difficult to find one now, it’s pretty late, it’s too dark to walk home alone. She is trying to think of a solution when Andy comes and stands next to her. “You don’t have a car I know, I’ll drop you” she has to take up this offer even though she doesn’t want to trouble him anymore.

The car ride was silent. When they are almost close to Y/n’s house Andy finally breaks the silence, “I am sorry, I am sorry for snapping at you, I shouldn’t have, I know you’re just trying to help, I lost my cool and I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s alright Sir, I understand.” why does she? Why does she understand? When almost everything is going wrong, when he feels so alone, why is there? She shouldn’t have to deal with him and his messed up life. She can get a better job, and a better boss.

“So that’s me” she says, Andy stops the car.

She hesitates to ask the next thing, she shouldn’t overstep but she just can’t see her boss like this, he seems miserable. “Sir, I am very sorry if I am overstepping but um- would you like to come in? Have some tea? Or-“ "Is there something with alcohol?” he looks at her. “I may have a couple of beers. And I have some wine, not something fancy though” Andy says that will work. So there he is at his assistant’s house having a glass of wine. Surprisingly enough it doesn’t feel awkward, in fact the atmosphere is pretty calm.

“I am sorry that I can’t be more helpful sir, I understand you are going through a lot but please have some faith, everything will be alright.” Andy can’t help but be in awe with her right now. “You are doing so much, you have no idea. I cannot thank you enough.”

“Sir please don’t thank me, I am trying to be a good assistant, I understand things are difficult and maybe not a lot of people are in your corner right now but I am. I have faith that things will be better soon. I am here for you.” He can cry any moment now, with his life being a complete mess, with him feeling so alone, Y/n is giving him hope. The moment is interrupted by Laurie’s call. Andy just picks up the call and stays quiet. Y/n can hear all the screaming and yelling from the other side. Andy just listens. “I am sorry but I am not coming back tonight, just give me this night, please.” He hangs up. Y/n doesn’t know what to say. “Don’t worry, I’ll go back to the office and spend the night there.” She cannot let him stay alone, it doesn’t feel right “You should stay here tonight, the only problem is that you will have to sleep on this couch.” Andy too doesn’t want to leave, but he doesn’t want to trouble her. As if she can read his mind, she immediately says “It’s alright, I’d be happy to know that you’re not alone tonight.” It’s true, after a long time he doesn’t feel alone, he isn’t alone tonight.

“I know I am being selfish, I know I should be with my family but I need just one night off you know? I am going crazy and if I go back tonight chances are it’s going to be a yelling competition between me and my wife and that won’t be good for anyone, especially Jacob.” He finishes the rest of the wine. “I am not saying my wife isn’t going through a lot too, but even if it is selfish I just need one night, a little time, I-I-“ he cannot finish his sentence before breaking down into tears. He hides his face with his hands and just keeps on crying. Y/n thinks about rubbing his back and soothing him but hesitates. She shouldn’t but she wants to, she cannot see him like this. She gently, very gently places her hand on his back. He is shaking. She can feel it, she can feel all his pent up emotions and stress slowly being let out with those tears. “Sir, as much as I hate to see you cry, sometimes it helps to let out pent emotions, it’s okay, let it out, I am here” Andy cannot stop crying, her words affecting him. Her hand radiating warmth.

After about two minutes, he looks at her, she gradually removes her hand and places it on the couch beside him, making sure not to touch him, he misses the contact of her hand but doesn’t say anything. He wants to say so many things right now but he doesn’t, just says, “Call me Andy, at least outside work.”

“I just want you to know you’re not being selfish, I am seeing you work hard everyday, trying your best, as you said I am sure your wife is going through a lot too, so is your son but then again so are you. You all need to stay functional too and for that do not let all those thoughts take over you. So recharge your self tonight, get some sleep, you have to fight a little longer unfortunately but I have a strong feeling the results at the end will be good. Just hang in there.”

Andy holds her hand. “Thank you for letting me stay and everything else. I am grateful to have someone as kind as you by my side.” She is about to stand up when she realises he is still holding her hand. As if on cue, he leaves her hand, he didn’t want to, she too misses the contact. How can she? What is she thinking? No, no this is nothing but her calming down her boss who is extremely troubled right now. He should sleep now and so should she. Andy too doesn’t exactly understand what is happening, all he knows is that her presence is calming him. Her presence feels like- feels a lot like home. “Alright then, good night, sleep well.” she stands up, about to leave. “Good night Y/n” Is her name actually that good or is it him saying it that makes it so much better. It’s better not to think about it.

“Thank you” Andy thanks y/n for the coffee. The trial is coming to an end in some days and after a long time things are looking minutely positive for them, with Andy’s dedication and to some extent desperation, and with y/n being there as a reliable assistant, they were able to get some evidence that proved to be helpful. Even though y/n has been his assistant for quite some time, after that night, they have grown closer. Andy who used to keep all his worries to himself, gradually let his guard down in front of y/n. They have become friends. He knows he can rely on her, she knows he is trustworthy. “You’re welcome Sir” she smiles.

“Hey y/n?” she turns back and faces him. “Are you free after work today? I was thinking we could go grab some food at the diner? My treat.” She looks confused. “Is there an occasion Sir? It’s not your birthday I know that.” Andy cannot help but smile.

“No I just wanted to give you a treat, after everything you have done for me. I thought this can be like a small gesture of appreciation.”

“Sir the fact that you thought about this gesture is more than enough, I am sure you’re busy with the trial coming to an end, I wouldn’t want to take up your time.”

“Well I am not busy, and you deserve a little break too, you have been working hard, so let’s go to the diner if you’re free. I know you like milkshakes.”

She smiles, he remembers? She may have said once or twice that she loves milkshakes. “Well I can’t say no to milkshakes, alright then.” Andy nods to that.

“This burger is so good.” Y/n said with food in her mouth. Andy chuckles at that. She is so cute. “I am glad you like it.” she nods and slurps her milkshake. Andy has a constant smile on his face, he is happy to see her so happy with just burgers and milkshakes. Y/n is happy, definitely because of the tasty food but mainly because of this gesture. She won’t admit how much this actually, truly means to her. “So Y/n you’re such a good assistant, you know a lot about me, but look at me I haven’t even tried to get to know you much.” She looks up while slurping her milkshake. “No sir-“ He corrects her about calling him by his name. “Sorry, Andy you do know me, besides I have heard how bosses can be super rude and unpleasant so I think I got pretty lucky with you. You’re kind and nice and sweet. Also hey you do know I like milkshakes.” Andy has that smile plastered on his face which now morphs into a laugh. A laugh, after so many days, she smiles at that, she is seeing him laugh after a long time. “Yes I know that, but what else do you like?” She likes making him smile, not that she would say that. “I like cooking, watching movies. I have very few friends, sometimes we go out, but personally I like staying in more.” Andy nods. The next thing he is about to ask, he isn’t sure whether he should, he doesn’t want to cross a line, but somehow he really wants to know it. “Are you dating someone?” She wasn’t expecting that. “Um no, i haven’t even been on many dates actually, the last time I was supposed to have a date and I got stoop up. I have an ex but i don’t even know if he ever considered me his girlfriend. I-“ she stops midway, realizing she has babbled a lot. “I am sorry to hear that, I mean I am little shocked actually, you are so nice.” she looks at her food, fidgets with it. “Yeah well nice isn’t good enough for guys to like me. Anyway that is something I have stopped thinking about, I don’t think I’ll get anyone.” Andy cannot believe what she just said. She is wonderful, caring, sweet, funny and beautiful. how can she think like that? “You really think that? You’re so wonderful, you’re funny, you’re talented, caring, sweet and b- well you are great! really, I think what you are saying doesn’t make sense, I am sorry that you have encountered some jerks all this while but I am sure you’ll get someone who will love you, cherish you and respect you. Besides, don’t get me wrong, most guys your age are stupid.” She smiles, she doesn’t usually get so many compliments. That last line is true, maybe most guys her age are kinda stupid. Maybe someone older, someone more matured will realize her value? “That’s very kind of you Andy.” She cannot help but look at him. She admires him, a lot. Every time she starts feeling anything other than respect for him she constraints herself immediately. He is married, has a kid, and he is totally out of her league. Granted he has had some troubles recently in his marriage but she hopes everything gets solved so that he can be happy. Y/n really wants Andy to be happy. “Well maybe I am not the best person to give relationship advice, considering how my marriage has fallen apart, but I truly believe you are wonderful and deserve someone great.”

“Andy, don’t say that, with time people can grow apart and the sad part is maybe not either is at fault, it just happens. Life changes everything at times, it changes people, changes feelings. What works for someone may not for someone else. There isn’t any right or wrong relationship advice I believe. Although when people say love is complicated, I disagree with that a bit, I feel love is very simple, we make it complicated.” How is she like this? Andy admires the way she thinks.

“Again you didn’t have to drop me but thanks a lot” She is about to step out of the car when Andy calls her name and she faces him. “Look I know recently I have shared some personal information with you, and obviously we have grown closer, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. It’s just I don’t have a lot of people to talk to and you make me feel so comfortable. If you think I am crossing a line do tell me.” She gives him a reassuring smile. “Andy I am glad you can trust me.” That’s all she says. Andy looks at her, maybe he was expecting her to say something more. But she doesn’t. “Y/n i - i think I will get a divorce after the trial ends and when the situation is better. I respect Laurie too much and I know she has gone through a lot and I feel that getting divorced would be better for both of us and for Jacob too. We have fought a lot recently, and I don’t like Jacob seeing that. Plus maybe we all need a fresh start. I love my family but Laurie is now just the mother of my child. I have tried to feel more but I can’t, not anymore.” She doesn’t want to read between lines, doesn’t want to make out some other meaning behind this. She loses her train of thoughts when Andy places his hand on hers. “Y/n if you’re wondering why I am saying all this right now, then I don’t know how to answer that, maybe because I don’t know why I said it.” she is about to say something when Andy cuts her off “Or maybe I do know.” He looks into her eyes. There is so much to ask, so much to say but they choose to sit quietly in the car and look at each other. The atmosphere in the car is gradually changing. “I should go” She says, Andy removes his hand and nods. She steps out.

“Thank you An- Sir for the treat, I had a great time.” He doesn’t correct her this time. He smiles and says “Thank you for spending time with me.”

Y/n cannot stop thinking about that conversation, neither can Andy. Andy is scared he crossed the line. He cannot lose her trust, her respect. He cannot lose Y/n. Maybe he shouldn’t have said all that, maybe it was too much for her. She is not dumb she understands the situation. What does she think though, what does she feel? Andy stares at the ceiling of the guest room and keeps on thinking. It has been months since he is sleeping in the guest room. He picks up his phone, it’s late, he wants to text y/n but he doesn’t want to make things worse. What should he do. Before he can grasp his emotions his phone blinks.

It’s a text. From Y/n.

Y/n: “I am sorry for texting at this hour. I am sorry for stepping out of the car like that without saying much. I am not very smart when it comes to these things but I just want you to know that I respect you very much. I admire your work and dedication and how much you care about others. I have seen you doubt yourself as a father but if my opinion means anything to you then trust me when I say you’re an amazing father. You care a lot about your family. Sir I understand feelings may change but sometimes some relations are worth giving more time. It’s not really my place to say any of this probably but I personally don’t want you to regret something later. You were talking about a fresh start, maybe you all can take a fresh start as a family, together. Again it’s your life and I am no one to say anything. Sometimes things are better the way they are, even if the excitement of ‘what could happen’ or ‘what if’ makes us curious, it can be troublesome. Sorry if this makes you feel bad in anyway, I truly admire you and respect you for the person you are Andy.”

She has sent the message with a lot of courage. The conversation in the car changes a lot of things. It’s not that her heart didn’t skip a beat in the car when Andy said all that. But she respects him too much and doesn’t want him to make any decision that he may regret later. He is married, he has a son, he has a family. Y/n someday wants her own little family and to think that in any way she can anyway stop a family from being happy just breaks her heart. Specially Andy’s. After all his happiness means more to her than her own. After all she- well it’s not like she will admit it. Some things don’t need to be said.

Is it possible that Andy is getting more and more mesmerized by her? She is so pure, so kind. He types back the reply.

Andy: “Y/n, thank you for being so understanding, thank you for taking care of me when no one was there. I know I have thanked you before but I really cannot thank you enough. All I can say is that I am always here for you, if you ever need anything. That being said, the fresh start you are suggesting, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I had talked to Laurie too, we think we need a separate fresh start. I am lucky to have met you Y/n, like you said I don’t want to regret something later.”

Her heart seems a little less heavy after reading this. Wait why is she smiling like a teenager? She is blushing. She quickly sends a reply.

Y/n: “I just want you to be happy and I hope you know I am always here for you too.”

Andy: “I know you are and that makes me happy.”

Y/n: “Good night Andy. Sleep well”

Andy: “I will now, good night Y/n”

Andy loves the colour blue. A blue tie would be a great gift for him. Y/n gets a blue tie for his birthday. The Barbers are having a small get together for Andy’s birthday. Joanne, Jacob’s lawyer suggested them to seem as normal as possible, anyway the case seems to be in their favour now and the trial will end in a few days. So they shouldn’t behave like a guilty family. Andy has invited a few friends and colleagues and Y/n is invited too.

“Happy Birthday Sir!” Y/n says as she gives Andy his present. Andy thanks her and welcomes her to his house. With her here it feels a little more like home. She can make any place feel like home. He introduces her. “Jake, this is my assistant Y/n and Y/n I think you have met Laurie before.” They exchange greetings. Laurie is so beautiful. Jacob seems like a great kid. It’s very sad what he had to go through. What they all had to go through.

“Come on Dad, it’s time to cut the cake!!” Jacob ushers Andy over and asks him to blow the candles. Andy does. He wishes for Jacob’s safety and that they win the case. He had another wish but seems like that may have already been granted. He looks up at her, she is there clapping with others, but she is the only one who has been with him in this difficult phase unlike others. He cuts the cake and cuts out a small piece and feeds Jacob. That’s when it happens, Laurie kisses Andy. Andy is taken aback for a second but then he kisses her again. Right that is how married couples behave don’t they? He is still married. Then why are tears forming in Y/n’s eyes? What has she been thinking all this while? This is the reality. Andy is married and seems to have a great wife. She excuses herself and Andy doesn’t fail to notice that. He quickly goes to find her. She is standing in the lawn trying desperately to hold back the tears even though crying because of this seems so wrong.

“Y/n?” she composes herself. “Sorry sir I- I was- I got a call, had to take it, you have a great home by the way.” Andy moves closer to her but she steps back. “This doesn’t feel like a home anymore Y/n. It’s missing the warmth.” She suddenly unexpectedly snaps at him. “Really? Didn’t seem like that just few minutes ago.” Andy keeps quiet. What has she done? It’s wrong. “I am so sorry Sir I-“She gets cut off by Andy. “We are supposed to act like a loving family. Jake’s lawyer thinks that publicly we have to appear as a normal loving family since a troubled family would ruin Jacob’s image even more. There is a belief that troubled families have ill effects on kids. So we are portraying ourselves as a happy married couple but we aren’t. I don’t love her anymore Y/n. I lo-“ She stops Andy from saying anything more. “The lawyer is right. Troubled families do have ill effects on kids. Jacob has already been through a lot. You should give this another shot, Laurie seems wonderful, and she is so beautiful. You all should talk it out. Family is everything Sir, family comes first.” Andy tries to protest but she doesn’t let him. “Sir, sometimes some things just aren’t worth it. I’ll head home, happy birthday again. Goodbye.” she leaves, Andy wants to stop her but he doesn’t, right now things would get more complicated if he did. He wants to scream out, why? Why is this happening? Yes he agrees with her concern about Jacob’s well-being but he and Laurie won’t be able to stay together like a happy married couple for long, it won’t work out and that will probably affect Jacob even more. All of a sudden that ‘goodbye’ hits him. Goodbye? Is it? Did he lose her?

Y/n kept crying for two days even though she felt disgusted with herself for crying because of this. That unfortunately didn’t stop her from crying her heart out. Andy texted her, she hasn’t replied yet. Andy is so tensed he hasn’t heard from Y/n for two days. When a message arrives it shatters Andy’s heart even more. It’s not a text message, it’s an email. Her resignation letter. She says she will clean out her desk after some days. She didn’t fail to wish him luck for the end of the trial though. And finally the day comes, Jacob is proven innocent in front of law. The Barber Family is happy. Jacob hugs Andy and Andy feels good, he has been so stressed about this case, so much has happened during this time, finally all their efforts have been successful.

A series of “congratulations” and “I knew Jacob was innocent” keep on coming to them. Even though most of these people weren’t even beside them during the actual troubled time. Jacob doesn’t want to look back, neither do Andy and Laurie.

Andy receives a text. It’s Y/n “Congratulations, take care” Andy is about to call her when Jacob calls him and asks him they should go out for dinner to celebrate.

It has been two weeks. Y/n is looking for a new job. She didn’t go herself to collect the things from the office, requested a friend to go on her behalf. She too needs a fresh start. She makes her self some coffee and goes through some job openings.

A knock on the door. It’s Andy. “Can I come in please? Please.” She steps away from the door and he comes in. Andy doesn’t wait any time and gives her the paper in his hand. Divorce papers. Signed by both. “Before you say something, Jacob suggested the divorce. I love my son the most and always will, but things are different between me and Laurie. We all sat down together and had a talk and he suggested us getting a divorce before we even said that we were planning to. I was so proud to see how my son has grown so matured. He said he loves us both and he realizes that us staying together won’t make either of us happy and he wants us to be happy.” Y/n couldn’t stop her tears this time. Andy rushes closer to her takes her smaller hands in his. “Look at me please.” She does, still sobbing. “I know you deserve better, but if you give me a chance I promise I will do my best to make you happy. You make me so happy you have no idea. You feel like home Y/n. I love you so much.” She hugs him, she cannot control anymore. “I love you Andy,” Andy wraps her tightly, brings her as close as possible. She pulls apart and he wipes the tears with his thumbs. “I just didn’t want to be the reason to break your marriage. I want you to be happy.” He kisses her forehead. "I know sweetheart, I know. But you didn’t break my marriage, it was already broken, for quite some time, the recent incidents just gave me a chance to realize that. I was broken too, but you fixed me.” She looks up at him. “You make me feel so safe Andy, you feel like home too.”

He kisses her softly on the lips and both of them smile against each other’s lips. They are home, finally.

[lilacsandwhiskey]

I’m currently obsessed with tiktok and tom holland so I’m obsessed with imagines about both. i think it would be cute if you do a tiktok trend with the boys but like the world doesn’t know about reader and Tom so people are shipping her with one of the guys? like from the tiktok? Tom maybe gets jealous or something ? idk i’m rambling haha

Thanks for the request anon :) I hope this was okay!

Heartbreak Anniversary

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pandemic and COVID, cussing, maybe suggestive at points???, angst, jealous Tom, uhhh sucky writing and no proofreading so bare w ya girl n kinda longer than I anticipated but here we are :)

Notes: italics = flashback

If someone asked you how you managed to get a life as crazy as your’s, you’d simply reply “just meet Harrison and become best friends.” You almost couldn’t fathom what your life looked like right now - you sat in the kitchen with your two friends, Harry and Tuwaine, who had fallen into the pits of TikTok with you, while Harrison, Sam, and your beloved, Tom, sat in the living room, screeching at the television as they watched a game. All of this, while in the middle of a worldwide pandemic.

You didn’t officially live with the boys, but you might as well have. Your apartment was only minutes away, but with how communal your living situation was, Tom simply talked it over with his brothers and best friends, who didn’t even hesitate to scream yes when he asked if you could stay there. It was “safest,” he explained when he begged you to come stay for a while. So you did.

How did we get here? It all started with a little project, Harrison Osterfield, and him playing cupid.

——————————

“Clumsy, are we?” Harrison managed to balance you as you tripped over your own two feet, walking into the studio. “What makes you think that?” You huffed back, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Just get that vibe.” He replied, shrugging with a smile.

It didn’t take long for you and Harrison to practically become the best of friends. He soon was inviting you out to drinks with his friends, who immediately accepted you. Though you and Harrison’s friendship was strictly platonic, you found him itching to find out about your relationship status. “Should I even wonder, Harri?” “I mean, no. I’m just curious.” “I thought I told you before I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” You said, glaring at him with a smile. “I didn’t ask that, I was just curious. So anyway, are you coming to the pub tonight? I’m dying for you to meet my friend, Tom.” The excitement in his voice was too much to understand, but instead of questioning, you just replied with a yes.

There you were, walking through the doors of the pub at 8pm sharp. Your eyes finally spotted familiar faces who were calling out to you. You followed suit, inching your way to the booth at the back. “Y/N!” They called, urging into hugs. “Hi everyone!” You replied, taking a seat. Tuwaine was already scooting over your favorite drink towards you. “Told you we’d always take care of you! Anyway, we’re celebrating tonight. Tom’s back home!”

Your eyes landed on the curly-haired boy who had a gentle smile playing on his lips. “No need for anything big, I’m just glad to be surrounded by my favorite people.” Tom said. “Nice to meet you finally, Y/N. Glad to finally put a face to the name.” Tom held a hand out, gripping tight to yours as he shook it. Little did you know, Tom was well-aware of what your face looked like. He hadn’t been able to stop scrolling through your social media pages after Harrison had posted a picture of you, him, and Tuwaine on his story during a night out.

———————————

“So who’s this girl you’ve been posting?” Tom said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible during this conversation with his bestfriend. “Y/N, I thought I’d mentioned her to you.” Harrison said through the phone. “I don’t believe you have, are you like…” “No, no, dude, you know I’ve been talking to Grace.” “I know, but I was just worried my best friend had moved on without telling me!” “You know I would. No, she’s just a friend, we met during a project. Grace actually loves her, and so does everyone else - including your brothers. Have they not told you about her?”

Tom tried to think back to his conversations, only briefly hearing mentions of your names when he’d ask what they’d been doing. He couldn’t help but scroll through your pictures, soaking up every aspect of your life, well, only what you displayed. You had a dog, bingo. You seemed to be funny by the way you captioned your pictures, good. You seemed to have fun, love your family, and live a life that perfectly reflected how Harrison had described to him after he had came to the realization that Tom had already began crushing on you just by what he’d started telling him and the way you portrayed yourself.

Tom begged Harrison to be his wingman. Harrison practically scolded him the first few times. “I don’t want you to mess up this friendship.” “She’s not just a fling, Tom.” “Can’t you just be friends first?” Tom would settle for the last comment. “Fine, introduce us.”

————————————

Your conversations with Tom seemed so effortless that night. With too much alcohol in your system, you found yourself completely flustered by how pretty he was with his glazed eyes, rosy cheeks, and the constant giggles escaping his lips.

Though nothing ever happened that night, you found yourself spending more and more time with Tom in the coming weeks. Harrison didn’t mind as his relationship was truly flourishing with Grace. Weeks later, Tom had finally kissed you out of the blue and it changed everything. He was leaving for a few more weeks for filming, and instead of gaining the guts to make it official that night, he waited until he came back. It was the first thing he asked you when you reunited.

But, it wasn’t as simple as that. The logistics, the orchestrating, there was so much planning involved with what felt like should just be simple. Tom had fans, and sometimes they weren’t so nice. Tom wanted to protect you in every way possible. Though it was obvious you’d been hanging with the guys, since some of them had posted you, you had just figured that if you went out in public, you’d all go together and you couldn’t spend too much time just next to Tom. Posts were limited, it was all planned to a T. But you didn’t mind, because Tom made you happy and you knew it was for the best.

For a while, you did long distance. Your relationship had been based off of late night or early morning FaceTime calls, quick calls in between breaks, and short text messages throughout the day. It was hard but worth it. But this last time didn’t last near as long as others.

When word of COVID swept through the news, the world became frantic in all aspects. When everything began going into lockdown, Tom was sent straight back home from filming.

———————————

Laughter erupted between Harry, Tuwaine, and you. Tuwaine had showed you a both a video on TikTok he came across of a girl dancing in the midst of her friends to the song Heartbreak Anniversary. Though her coordination was obviously great, it was the reactions and how aggressive she was doing the dance that made it so funny.

As if on cue, Tom, Harrison, and Sam walked into the kitchen, Harrison mentioning that they couldn’t hear their program over their laughing. That’s when they found themselves gathered around the phone, joining in the laugher.

“I think we should recreate it. I think Y/N should learn the dance and be in the middle. It’ll be too good.” Harry said. “Me?” A nervous laugh escaping your lips. “For sure, we learn dances so fast, you’ll have it down in no time.” Harry was right - over the last few months, you’d formed certain hobbies with each of the boys. You had became just as close with them as Tom was, and one thing you and Harry found yourselves doing often was learning dances in the backyard, most likely disrupting the neighbors from your obnoxious cussing and laughter.

After protesting the dance, the guys had won and you were now practicing the dance. You felt so dumb, you couldn’t help but laugh. You didn’t allow the boys to see it so that when you videod, it would be their fresh reactions. And that’s what it was -

The boys circled around you, ready to endure the dancing. Right before, Tom had pulled you aside and reiterated not focusing that much time on him, though he wanted you to. You agreed, understanding the circumstances considering the world still was unaware of your relationship. To everyone else, you were just some friend that came to hang out every now and then.

So when the music started, you kept that little rule in the back of your mind. You tried to spend enough time with each, trying to make them laugh which definitely worked. You added your own flair to the dance, leaning back towards each of them, causing them to spit out laughter. You still found a moment with Tom, because it’d be too obvious that you were not trying to be obvious if you didn’t (haha).

Afterwards, the guys laughed over your shoulder as they watched their own reactions. “You killed that!” Sam exclaimed.

Hours later, you all sat in the living room, engrossed in your own thing - television, telephone, reading, someone was doing something. That’s when Tuwaine busted out laughing. “Shit, these comments are ruthless!” “Hmm?” You said, not even thinking to go check on the video you’d posted. When you opened up the app, Tom was looking over your shoulder to look for himself.

“Yeah, Harrison and Y/N are def fucking”

“Y/N and Haz 👀👀👀”

“Look at the way Haz looks at her 😍 obvi in love”

The comments continued. You cocked your head, watching back at the video. There was nothing much different between your interactions other than he was laughing the most - but that was just Haz. You shook your head, laughing as everyone but Tom joined it.

“Dang, Y/N, didn’t know we cared so much about each other!” Harrison said, giggling. “Right, just so in love!” You jokingly fell back into the couch, but soon noticed that Tom was barely participating in the jokes. Instead, he was leaning back, barely cracking a smile, even when you tugged his arm. You tried to shake off his reaction, not expecting him to actually be upset.

—————————

“I think I’m going to shower, wanna join?” You pulled out some sweatpants from the drawer that you’d claimed. “Why don’t you go ask Harrison?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Excuse me?” Tom stayed silent. A nervous laugh escaped your lips, in hopes that his words were only joking but the straight face he was giving, along with no eye contact, made it clear that he was not joking.

“Are you being serious right now?” You asked quietly. You felt yourself beginning to get upset, considering you had never given him a reason to believe that for one, you’d ever cheat, and for two, that you and Harrison had ever had sex. He was well aware of the friendship that you had before Tom came along, and not only was it strictly platonic, but Grace had been in the picture the whole time.

Tom finallt replied with a shrug, which elicited rolling eyes from you. “You’re unbelievable.” You slammed the door to the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door across the hall. It may have been absurd, but in that moment you honestly were shocked. You and Tom had never really argued about something like this before - it just never showed itself as a problem. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been rumored dating each one of the boys before anyway, you didn’t know what was different.

Harrison had obviously heard the slamming of the doors, including the other boys who surrounded him. Sam pushed the television, looking around at the group, who was already exchanging looks. “Nose goes.” Tuwaine said, instantly pinning his finger to his nose, the rest of the boys following. Harrison was the last to reach his nose. “Aw, come on. You know this is probably about me.” Harrison whispered. “Guess you gotta find out.” Harry replied, shrugging.

Harrison slowly made his way to Tom’s room, slowly knocking before opening the door. Tom was laying on the bed on his phone, seeming that he was not phased by the events that seemed to have just occurred. “Tom?” “Hmm?” “What’s going on?” Harrison asked, inching closer to the bed.

Tom laid his phone on his chest with a smirk. “Why don’t you go find out?” “Seriously, Tom? Are we twelve right now?” Harrison huffed back, crossing his arms. When Tom didn’t reply, Harrison felt like tugging his hair out. It wasn’t very often that the two lads argued, but Harrison honestly couldn’t believe that THIS is what the argument was about this time.

Harrison made it clear time and time again before Tom and you had started dating that you two had been platonic from the beginning. Harrison loved you like a sister, but never anything more. Tom was well aware of that - so he didn’t understand why he was lashing out?

“Look, mate. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, but I can guarantee you, that if you keep on, Y/N isn’t going to like it. You have no right to take it out on her. You know she wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, hell, you know I’d never do that to you in a million years. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, though you have no true reason to be. Fans make assumptions all the time. You can’t possibly be upset when you’re the one who continues to vow her as a secret to the world. You orchestrate every plan with her to make sure that it looks like you’re not dating, so yeah, people might get skeptical. I’m sorry that you’re feeling insecure right now, but you have no right to accuse her of anything.” Harrison had no intentions of giving a speech, but he knew that it had to be said. Tom just looked at him, and for the first time, Harrison couldn’t get a read on him.

Harrison made his way out of the room, almost colliding with you as you came out of the bathroom. Harrison gave you a sympathetic smile before going back to the living room. Confused as to what had just happened in Tom’s room, you took a deep breath before opening the door. There was no doubt that you were still upset, but you also were bothered about the fact that this came so suddenly. Or had it? Had he been so skeptical before and you’d just never caught on? How could he not trust you?

As you walked in, Tom laid on his side away from you. You let out a small sigh, placing your dirty clothes in the hamper and walking over to the bed. “Tom?” No answer. “Can we talk?” Though you couldn’t see around him, Tom squeezed his eyes shut at those words. He finally turned over. “Hey.” You said. “Hey.”

You assumed an apology would come after that, but it never did. You tried to be reasonable. “I get it.” “Hm?” “I get it. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I can’t say there haven’t been times I’ve gotten a little jealous or scared or insecure when you’re miles and miles away. But I’m right here. You have nothing to worry about.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.” “It’s okay, but you have to trust me. We’ve been together over a year now and this conversation has never came up. Why now?”

Tom took a minute to gather his words. He let out a slow shaky breath. “I don’t know how to put it into words. When I’m away, I long to be back home with you. It seems so simple to know that I get to home and you’re here for me. So, now that I’m home for longer than a week, I recognize that you have developed these amazing friendships with people who can be here for you more than me, and sometimes it just feels unreal that I have you - like I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much that the thought of you being with someone else ever hurts me, and I think that’s why the comments got to me so much this time. Y/N, I think I’m ready to tell the world. I’m tired of keeping you a secret. I want to show the world you’re mine, I want to be the one they make those comments about. Ridiculous, huh?” Tom let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

You grabbed his hands, shaking your head. “Babe, if it weren’t for Harrison, we wouldn’t be here. The relationships I’ve grown with everyone is over our shared love of you. We are so grateful that we can be altogether in each other’s presence and enjoy it because we all have a shared love. You’re so important to all of us, and that’s just how it works. I’m ready to tell the world if you are. I’d love nothing more than to finally call you mine publicly… and maybe go on a date outside of our backyard when this pandemic ends.” You say with a grin. He pulls you on top of him, laying a slow kiss on your lips. “You’re so important to me. Let’s show the world how much.”

[justpevensies]

Please Come Back to Me

request:  “ hi can i request a edmund angst like a really good heartbreaking one where he says really hurtful things he doesn’t mean but with a happy ending” - anonymous

blurb: Edmund says some things he didn’t mean..

A/N: my first request! this one was difficult to write but I hope you all enjoy it x

warnings: lots of angst but eventual fluff

Curled in a ball against the door, hot tears were free falling down your face spilling all over your hands and clothing. You had no idea how long you had been sat there weeping bitterly as the pain continued to sting every ounce of your being - your heart ached - and at the same time you felt numb with the sadness and shock. Muffled you could hear a voice crying from the other side of the door.

~

Very rarely did you and Edmund get in arguments but in this moment, that was exactly what you were doing. You couldn’t even remember what had triggered it but you both were here now and it was going back and forth. At the peak of this anger, Edmund said: “You know, I don’t even know why-”

“Say it!” You spat at him. 

“I don’t even know why I care. Why I bother. I can’t believe we’ve come to this”. As far as you were concerned, that was what he thought of this relationship, unworthy of attention or care. 

He stared blankly at you, there was almost no traces of remorse in his body. Tears began to glisten on your horizon and when you responded to him pleading your case, Edmund didn’t say anything and in that moment you wanted to slap him across the face for being a coward. 

This wasn’t the Edmund you knew, this wasn’t the Edmund you loved. The Edmund you knew and adored didn’t argue with you, he didn’t raise his voice at you, he wouldn’t dream of speaking to anyone like this. In fact, it scared you.

“So that’s it?” You asked sternly. “That’s us?! After everything we’ve shared, experienced and dreamt, all it will come crumbling down over some stupid argument?” You asked, arms folded. Edmund looked at you and it was a look that could kill. “Well” he scoffed, “I guess it will”.

That was not what you were expecting. Your voice went quiet, almost as if you were restrained and you asked in a whisper: “What?”

Edmund turned around and sighed, about to resume work at his desk and he responded: “I don’t know if I can talk to you like this”. At that you stepped forward and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around. “No!” you yelled. “I want to hear what you have to say”. 

Edmund looked at you and shrugged, “Okay”. After that, he laid it on you. He told you everything he had been feeling in the last few minutes - anger, disappointment, frustration. You knew that recently he had been overworked and tired so you assumed that contributed greatly to everything he was doing right now - probably to this very argument - but the things he was saying at this moment felt different. Every word felt like a stab at your worst insecurities, it felt like an attack and you knew you wouldn’t dream of speaking to him like this, regardless of how he made you feel. In this moment, you looked at Edmund - tears in your eyes - and for the first time you didn’t feel any love for him.

Frozen in that moment, you whispered back to him when he finished: “Is that really how you feel? I’m not enough, I’m not good enough?”

Edmund didn’t say anything, he just clenched his jaw. However, he knew that as soon as he finished that he didn’t mean a word. The pent up frustration, anxiety and exhaustion of duties he had been experiencing lately had almost possessed him and he had found no other way to let out that anger than onto you. Everything he had just said to you was how he felt about himself, yet here he was - an unworthy, stupid fool who had wasted the most joyful and good thing. He knew instantly he had made the biggest mistake.

However, his lack of response convinced you that everything he said was true. You didn’t need him to say anything, so you took that as your cue to leave.

“(Y/N)! Stop! I-”

The door to his study opened and immediately slammed shut.

~ 

You raced to your dressing room in your bedchamber, slamming the door and locking it shut. Sliding down in defeat, you just the agonising pain consume you. His words raided your head, your heart was detonated, you wanted to scream but no words came. 

Suddenly you heard another noise that wasn’t your heavy breathing or sobs: approaching footsteps. Rather quick paced footsteps. 

You had forgotten to lock your bedroom door so whoever had come to check on you (bearing in mind several people saw you in the corridors) was obviously going to waltz right in after your emotional exit. 

However, you recognized the sound of those footsteps, that walking speed. You wanted to believe it was him but everything right now was telling you he wasn’t interested and didn’t care. 

“(Y/N)?!” A pleading voice cried out. It was Edmund. 

He must have heard your cries from the other side of the door as you heard the footsteps approaching and then a loud banging on the door. The handle rattled as he attempted to burst in and - due to getting a fright - you suddenly held your breath. You were certain that your heart was pounding, as if something cruel was trying to break through. For a brief moment, everything was quiet.

~ 

That was what happened... you had no idea how long ago it was but you couldn’t see yourself moving anytime soon.

The voice crying from the other side of the door became more muffled as time ticked on. Cries, pleads and shouts from Edmund of your name gradually became more audible to you as you tried to inhale more and calm your breathing. 

“(Y/N)?!”

“(Y/N)?!”

The cries became more desperate, the thumps on the door became more repetitive but less strong, evidently it was hurting his hand. However that pain - as far as you were concerned - was nowhere near what you were enduring on the other side. 

“Oh (Y/N), open the door!” Edmund yelled through with a cracked voice. 

You didn’t want to imagine how he was looking right now because it would only tear you in two. 

You managed to piece some of your emotions together to wimper out: “Edmund-”. You heard him let out a sigh of relief before his thumping stopped. “Oh goodness (Y/N)! Please open the door!” You had somehow managed to stop crying, as if all of reality had snapped back into place. However, it felt like some alternate universe, a nightmare, and one you wanted out of quickly.

“Edmund-” you repeated, holding back more tears, “No”.

“What?” 

“Please go away”.

There was a silence before Edmund again knocked - this time in a more gentle manner - “(Y/N)” he said before you snapped: “Go away! Leave me alone!”

These words broke Edmund more than he could say, as if he wasn’t feeling guilt already. This came down on him like a tonne of bricks: you didn’t want him. He cracked involuntarily and he fell into the wood. With his face pressed against the door, some stray tears began to glide down his cheeks. You could hear him but you didn’t say a thing - right now there was no sympathy.

“Oh (Y/N)...” Edmund began to whisper. “Please... open the door. I need to talk to you”. 

You scoffed, more tears beginning to glisten: “No you don’t! You’ve made your perspective very clear” you replied sharply before burying your face in your knees. 

There was a silence but it was piercing. You could hear Edmund sniffling through the door and while you did feel compelled to open it - largely out of heartbreak -but out of stubborness you didn’t. He finally broke the tension by saying: “Listen (Y/N) you’ve got to open the door”. Just wanting him to leave you alone you shouted back: “Why should I?”

Immediately, Edmund responded: “Because I love you!”

Before you could even say anything back, he continued: “Yes. I love you! You may not believe that right now and the feeling is probably not mutual right now but I love you”. 

You were silenced and you waited to hear if he said anymore. He did.

“Oh (Y/N) I love you so much. Every aspect of your being - your radiant smile, your character, the fact that you are truly genuine, caring and loving regardless of who or circumstance. I would compare you to the beautiful things of this world but none could do justice for you are so perfectly different from everyone and everything else. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life - you’re a saving grace to me. However, I understand if that loving nature isn’t extended to me currently-”

You slowly began to stand up at the other side of the door, at the same time your head had fallen silent and no words were capable of coming from your mouth.

“I’ve been a fool. I was stupid and immature, and instead of talking about how I was actually feeling because of all this outside pressure, I took all of my own doubts about myself and put them onto you. You will never be like that - you are worthy of every ounce of love and praise, you are a saint. If I have to spend every day proving that to you then I will do that but I know I am unworthy to have you for making you feel how I did.

There was a pause.

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me-” you heard Edmund whisper before breaking into tears. At that you leaned against the door, pressing your hand to the wood. Your heart ached, torn in two. He sniffled, wiping away any emotion before continuing: “If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll never make you feel the way I have ever again. You’ll never doubt my love for you. I didn’t mean what I said, I don’t even know why I said it. But I know it was wrong”. 

Those final words were the ones you needed and they began to patch your brokenness. He finally said: “If you will forgive me, I will dedicate all of my soul to yours. ” It was a bold statement but Edmund knew it was genuine and you could feel the truth from within it. “Please come back to me?” he asked in a whisper but you remained in your position, listening against the wood, unable to move from the response you had just heard. 

The silence marked the answer. Edmund began to cry yet again outside and, defeated, he turned and walked away. His legs almost gave way and more tears began to fall - he had never known a feeling of loss and pain like this one. It was the pain that you could only feel when something special was taken away from you too soon, too unexpected, and he knew it was his fault.

Suddenly, from behind, he heard a noise and as he turned to see, he saw the door was unlocked, the handle moving at an angle and you stepped out from the hiding. You looked at his face, drowned in grief and his body beginning to sink, and the vision in front of you was a broken man. As Edmund looked at you, his heart pounded - unaware of what was coming and whether to be hopeful or not - and you simply responded: “I will forgive you”.

Without anything else being said, the two of you sprinted to one another and embraced closer than you had ever been. The most deepest of kisses was shared and almost instantly all of the pain had been washed away. Through muffled voices you both cried “I love yous” and Edmund restated his promise of faithfulness and love - you believed every word. 

After kissing several more times, Edmund held your face in his hands delicately and he smiled brightly at the look on your face. Your crying had been replaced with tears of joy. You just wanted to hear him tell you how much he loved you again and again and as you gazed into his eyes, you knew those words were true. This was the Edmund you knew, this was the Edmund you loved...and would continue to love for all time.

[justmidnightthougts]

Unexpected// Kenma x reader

Pairing: Kozume Kenma x reader

Word count: 3014

Warning: fluff and angst

Summary: Kenma knew that life could be unexpected, he only wished that he was prepared for the ending...

a/n: It’s been a while since I wrote something, but this has been in my head for a while so here it is!

masterlist: here

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧

Unexpected.

That's the explanation Kenma had for everything that happened last year.

It was unexpected that he met you that one day.

**

It was a Monday morning; spring was coming to an end and summer was approaching. The temperatures started getting warmer and the sky clearer. School had started around two months ago, and students were already wishing for the end of the year to approach.

"Good morning class," Kenma's homeschool teacher said as she walked in, everyone went to their seats and settled down. Kenma was already seated, just as usual playing on his game console before the teacher had entered. He was tired since he decided to stay up late, as usual, a choice that he regrets every morning yet can't help making it every time. "Today," his teacher started, "we will have a new student joining us. Please treat them well." As if on cue, the door opened, showing the new student, you.

Kenma looked up and watched as you went to the front, standing in front of the class and bowing your head, speaking: "Hello, my name is Y/N L/N, nice to meet you. Please treat me well," you ended with a smile on your face. The face that Kenma had been observing since the moment you walked in, concluded you weren't nervous, but excited. "Thank you, Y/N, you can sit down next to Kenma. Kenma, please put your hand in the air, so they know who you are," the teacher said with a smile, yet a tone that wouldn't appreciate disapproval.

He sighed, raising his hand slowly in the air while he looked down at his desk. He hated being in the center of attention, so doing this was out of his comfort zone. Furthermore, he kept looking down, hearing those footsteps nearing his desk. Kenma lowered his hands, praying to God that you won't start talking to him. Glancing towards the side, he watched as you pulled your chair back and sat down, placing your bag next to your desk before taking your supplies out, staying silent the whole time. He let out a sigh of relief, realizing that he doesn't have to talk to you, at least not yet.

This will be a promising year...

**

It was unexpected how easily he became intrigued by you.

**

One month has passed since you arrived at Nekoma, and Kenma watched as you slowly made a small group of friends over the month. Not just a normal group of friends, no. Your friends consisted of those who were considered "weird" or "not worth their time" by other students of their year. What they didn't know was that -during lunch- you would fall on your side from laughing as you talked with your friends, discussing everything and anything with great excitement. He couldn't hear what you were talking about from the gym doors every time he took a break from practice, but he loved to hear you laugh.

He also noticed your subtle ways of trying to become friends. By slipping notes towards him during classes. The notes weren't the like the notes someone would usually slip through. Normally, notes like that start with a "hi" on them or some other greeting, but these notes didn't. The first note you slipped through was with the question: "is it okay with you if I write you notes?". Not what you would expect, but he did appreciate it since you gave him the chance to decline if he felt uncomfortable. He answered: "yes" to the note, and from then onwards the two of you have been slipping notes to one another. The majority of the time, your notes were related to the classes that you had together. Whether he understood it or not, or if he knew the answer to a question.

Days passed, and passing notes became a routine in his life. In the morning, he already looked forward to seeing those notes with your identical handwriting. From time to time, he would be the one starting a conversation (not that it happens a lot). Though, he always found it worth doing, since those times are the times that he got that one smile from you. That smile that set off a weird feeling in his stomach. What that feeling was, was still a question to him, but he didn't hate it one bit. On the contrary, he wished to experience more and find out what it exactly was.

Through those notes he got to know you better. He found out that you moved from a little town in Japan to Tokyo because of a private matter. He also found out that you loved watching anime and playing games. That piece of information made him happy, knowing that he could talk with someone about his favorite games and maybe play together.

**

It was unexpected that you came to him for help.

**

"Kenma!" Kuroo yelled as Kenma was hiding once again from the volleyball practice during lunch. He just wanted to play one game, just one. Kenma let out a long sigh as he got up from his hiding spot. "I'm coming," he said, making his way over to the court, sloughing over the gym floor. He really loved his best friend, he really did, but sometimes he wished for him to just disappear, so he can play his games. "You really need to stop hiding, Kenma," Kuroo looked at him, "or at least find better hiding spots." Kenma rolled his eyes and just ignored him, and looked at the other side of the net, wanting this to be over already.

Just like he wished, practice went by smoothly. The team was cleaning the gym when the doors suddenly opened, startling a few of them. Kenma looked up towards the door and was surprised to see you there, panting as if you just ran all the way here. He flinched when your eyes fell on him, and there was that smile again. His stomach did a flip at that, flipping more when you made your way towards him. "Kenma," you started, "sorry for bothering practice, but um I had a question." He nodded, waiting for your question. "Well, I had some difficulties with the subject we learned in class today, and since you seemed to understand it, I hoped that you could explain it to me. If you don't mind, of course," you asked him while gently fidgeting with your fingers.

He just stood there, looking at you. He knew you had difficulties with that subject, but he was surprised that you asked him for help. He soon realized that he had been staring at you and nodded softly. "Yeah, I can help you with that. We can go to my house after school," he said softly with his small smile. Your eyes lit up at that and you smile happily: "Thank you Kenma, you are my savior! I'll come here after your practice then!" You waved at him and then walked away, leaving him to suffer under the stares of his teammates. Cleaning will take a while longer now.

The day passed by slowly, until finally the whistle, signaling the end of practice, was heard. He helped his team with cleaning the gym, excitement running through his body at the thought of spending time with you. Walking to the changing room, he avoided Kuroo's pained gaze. "Why are you letting me walk alone Kenma!" Kuroo whined while changing his clothes. Kenma groaned softly as he changed out of his shirt. "Because I don't want you to annoy Y/N with your chemistry jokes," he said with a glare at Kuroo. Kuroo made a hurt sound at that, huffing and crossing his arm, acting hurt by his comment. The team changed quickly, exhausted from practice, and wishing to go home. They exited the room and Kenma immediately spotted you, as if you were metal and he was the magnet searching for you.

After bidding his team goodbye, he made his way over to you, who had just spotted him. "Hey, Kenma! Are you still up for helping me or not?" You asked, slightly worried that maybe he was too tired from practice and was forcing himself to do this.

He nodded. "Yes of course," he placed his hand on his neck, "You came to me for help, it'd be rude if I back down now." You nodded, a smile grazing your lips as you looked at him. He was silent for a moment, just looking at your smile before realizing that had been staring. He coughed, "let's go now, otherwise it'll be late." He started making his way to his house, you are walking next to him. There was a comfortable silence present in the walk. One that he enjoyed. If being with you also means having comfortable silences, then he wouldn't mind being with you more.

The evening went by quickly. Kenma helped you with your difficulties. You found that he was rather patient, even if you messed up many times. The evening ended with playing games together until you had to leave. He found it to be a succeeded evening.

That was the start of a new routine. Whenever one of you didn't understand a subject, you would ask the other to explain it.

**

It was unexpected how easy he loved you...

**

Months passed, and he found himself falling in love with you, though he didn't notice it immediately. He realized it one day when he was feeling rather down, but as soon as he got a message from you, he felt better. It was then he knew that he liked you. And not a little. He didn't deny it, though he was afraid. Did you feel the same, or was it one-sided interest? He decided not to dwell on it too much, telling himself to keep it a secret from you, for now at least.

It didn't stay a secret for too long. He should've known that you were as observant as him. On a Wednesday after school, when you were together at his house, studying, you decided to break the ice with an unexpected question. "Kenma, do you like me?" you asked with a serious face. He froze in his place, keeping his eyes on his notebook. He sighed and nodded, moving his eyes towards you, "yes, I like you. Love you even." He did it, he said what he felt, and he didn't know how to feel about it. Will you laugh at him, saying that he shouldn't feel that? He waited anxiously. However, it never came. You just smiled at him, beaming even. "I love you too Kenma, I have loved you for a while now. I just was a little scared to say it, I didn't want to mess up our friendship," you rubbed your neck, your smile still on your face.

He couldn't believe what you just said. You loved him too? After all this time he had been stressed, you loved him too. "You really do?" he asked, just to be sure. You nodded, "yes, I really do. So, would you be my boyfriend?" He nodded, the biggest smile he ever had on his face as you shared a hug. Nothing could make him happier.

Nothing much changed after that, except for the loving gazes you both would send each other during class. The fact that you held hands when you walked home together, or the dates you had at an arcade or your favorite café. Though it didn't matter to him what you did on a date, if he could spend his time together with you, he was happy. The silence when you worked or the excitement when you played a game, were moments he held close to his heart.

You also met the volleyball team. You got along with them very well from the start. He also loved that about you. One moment you could be quiet and just do your own thing, but you could also be very extrovert and easily have a conversation with people that you liked. He knew that he would become old with you and marry each other in the future. It may be early to think that, but he is sure that he doesn't want it any other way.

He felt invincible next to you.

**

And how easy he lost you...

**

"What..." Kenma froze in his place. The teacher looked down, "yesterday...," a deep breath," yesterday, Y/N passed away in the hospital. Apparently, she had a life-threatening illness. Her funeral is this Friday." His world stopped. He raised his hand, asking if he could be excused. The teacher nodded. It was no secret how much Kenma loved you, everyone knew that. The way his stoic expression went away when you were near him. Everyone saw that. The moment he got permission, he left the room, running to the bathroom. Locking himself in a stall, he fell on the ground, looking at his hands, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Did you know that you were going to die? If so, why didn't you tell him? You probably didn't know it, right? Yes, that must've been it. He kept repeating those words, trying to believe them. However, it didn't work. Even when he tried so hard, he couldn't believe his own words. He had seen you getting worse with each passing day. The dark circles under your eyes, how thin you were. He thought that it was because of the stress from school...he was wrong. You were slowly dying in front of his eyes, and he hadn't even known.

Still, why didn't you tell him? Then he would've spent more time with you. Maybe you didn't know how to tell him? No, that wasn't true. He knew that you had a reason. You didn't want everyone to look at you with pity in their eyes, you didn't want them to treat you differently from others. You wanted to forget that haunting truth. That thought caused him to cry even more. He hunched over and covered his mouth, sobs escaping his mouth. He stayed like that for who knows how long. There wasn't a single tear left to spill. His voice was hoarse and his eyes red.

Days, which felt like years, passed and it was your funeral. The whole school was present, together with your family members. Some were crying, others' tears had already been spilled earlier. Kenma was one of them. He promised himself not to cry. Not because he didn't want others to see him like that, but because he knew that you wouldn't want to see him crying.

He stood in front of your casket, looking at your smiling picture on top of it. He kissed the top of the casket gently, closing his eyes. How he wished to see you, not dead, but alive and well. Standing in front of him with that gentle smile and those loving eyes. He wondered...did it hurt? Dying? Were you wishing for it to be over quickly because you were in so much pain? Or was it painless? Did you accept death with open arms? Was there a smile on your face when you said your last goodbyes? He will never know, and maybe that is for the better. He knows he wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

When the funeral ended and the casket was under the ground, your parents approached him. He had met them the first time he came to your house to study. They were two kind and gentle people, who loved their child with their whole hearts. "Hello, Kenma," your mother said with a sad smile. He bowed his head as a way of greeting them, afraid that if he were to talk that he would start crying again. "Thank you for coming to their funeral, I'm sure they would've been happy," she said, and your father nodded, looking down. "Before Y/N passed away, they asked us to hand you this," he gave him a note, "we don't know what it says, but it seemed important to her." Kenma looked at the note and then back at him. "We will leave you alone now, please come by again to pay her respects sometimes," the mother smiled, and then they both left, leaving him alone in the graveyard. He opened the note, immediately recognizing your handwriting, and started reading.

"Hey, Kenma! If you are reading this, then that means my funeral has passed. It must've been shocking to receive the news about my passing. I'm sorry that I never told you about my illness. I'm sure you already know why I never told anyone. It's exactly as you think, I wanted to feel normal and healthy. My apologies again. Are you alright? Probably not, that was a stupid question, wasn't it?

"The reason I'd moved schools so late in the year, was because it was one of my last wishes. I've always wanted to attend Nekoma. Do you know what my other wish was? Finding love. And you granted that wish. I've never been happier with you. The moments we spent together have always been secured in my heart. I had high expectations for love, but you surpassed them. It was amazing. Though, I have one more wish, one that only you can grant. Are you willing to do it? I hope so. I want you to live free, don't let me hold you back. Continue living, don't forget me, but also don't stay in the past. Find love again, pass your goals, be happy. That is my very last wish, I hope you can grant it. That was everything I wanted to say. I will watch you from above. I love you so, so much. Sayonara, Kenma."

He fell to the ground, crying once again, holding the notes close to his heart. "I will try..." he cried, "I will try to grant your wish. Please keep watching over me, watch me grow. I love you! I miss you!" he closed his eyes and kept crying.

It'll be hard, but he will try to move on. If that means granting you your last wish, if that means that you can rest in peace, then he will do it.

[chibiwritesstuff]

heyya yaaaa~! I just finished reading all of your works and lemme tell you, it’s all so nicely written! keep on going and don’t forget to take breaks when you need it, hm? alright, me stating facts about you and your writing talent aside— may I request lilia, floyd, ruggie and silver? Angst with a happy ending please? You can make it angst due to a misunderstanding or sumn. but oh well of course! that’s only if you don’t mind. Take your time dear, it’s not good to force yourself alright? bye~!

I see you saw the note that even I can’t find anymore that Lilia always gets a free pass on my 3 character limit XD. Thank you so much! I have long ways to be a decent writer but I’m glad you found my works nice. The one with Lilia is actually based on my own experience at work and I was told that’s an anxiety attack so uh... Also, I do kinda have to force myself or I’ll just keep focusing on work and not have time for myself which is writing.

(I swear all characters are treated equally and totally no favoritism... oh who am I kidding? Hail Lilia)

Warning(s): Mentions of an anxiety attack on Lilia’s part.

Now, let’s enter this twisted wonderland~

At first, he thought you just need something for Jade which he doesn’t mind. Everybody needs help once in a while.

But lately you two have pretty much stopped seeing each other.

Anytime he asks the trouble trio, they always respond that you’re with Jade.

Excuse me, if you wanted to break up with him just tell it straight to his face?!

He’s honestly hurt though. He thought you two are hitting it off really well.

Once he confronts you about it, you’re in the kitchen of Monstro Lounge.

“Wait, what are you doing?” He looked so confused and enamored of your look with an apron on.

“Ruggie, I love you and everything but I’m in the middle of a shift right now.” You immediately replied as you see Azul tapping his wristwatch.

“You work here?!” He jerked back in surprise. “I thought you are having a tryst with Jade!”

Cue to you and Azul spit taking (away from the food, of course, you ain't unsanitary) while Floyd burst out laughing and Jade chuckling.

Yeah, turns out you’re the current cook in the lounge to save up some money to buy him a gift for your anniversary.

Psh, he knows that. He’s just testing you… yeah.

Feel free to tease him about it since he used to do it to you anyway.

Okay, surely you just need Vil for a question or two, right?

You keep making excuses to get out of his hair lately and he doesn’t like it at all.

Yet whenever Rook calls for you because Vil asked for it, you’re suddenly available.

His mood swings are worse than a pregnant woman’s so you better explain quickly.

“Floyd! I finally found you.” You greeted him three weeks after you two last have an actual conversation.

“Can’t talk right now, I’m busy. Why don’t you go back to Vil?” He snapped at you as he began walking away.

You merely blinked at his reaction and shrugged. “Okay, you gave me the go signal so don’t you go blaming me for it.”

“That wasn’t permission! Get back here and pay attention to me!”  He pouted and shook you violently. “Why do you always pay attention to Vil? I thought I’m your boyfriend?!”

“Well, my sense of fashion is wack so I thought I’d ask an expert.” You struggled to respond as you tried to hand over a box which made him stop shaking you. “Vil hooked me up to get these for you after being ordered around to do things… Happy anniversary… oh god I feel sick…”

“Eh?” He opened the box to reveal the Tenebres brand of shoes that he’s been wanting. “Shrimpy, thank you!!!”

Yeah, have fun trying to hold that nausea in because this eel ain't ready to let go just yet.

As much as Lilia is a great person to hang out with, he can be quite neglectful on certain things because of having too much fun.

You don’t show it that much but you do get anxiety attacks when you get surprised. While not severe it’s still quite a scary moment.

It doesn’t help that you’re carrying something very valuable and very fragile to Vil when he decided to pop out of nowhere upside down.

“What you got there, (y/n)?” He casually asked.

“Ah!”

A loud crash echoed in the hallway and your face pales up as Vil’s delivery is now on the floor, shattered. Just the sight of it is enough to send your thought spiraling as you can vividly picture Vil yelling at you for being careless and useless you can be. You are aware that your brain is exaggerating things but as your anxiety attack gets more prominent, the harder it is for you to breathe and rationalize which only made you panic. Your ears started ringing that you failed to hear Lilia calling out your name multiple times. You must have blacked out for when you regained your sense of focus and hearing, you can see a concerned Lilia hovering above you.

“Oh seven, my apologies little one.” He replaced the wet cloth on your forehead before continuing. “I should have known or at least notice you have anxiety attacks.”

When you’re feeling better, Lilia personally talked to Vil about the situation and offered to replace the said item.

Much to your surprise, Vil got mad at Lilia for causing your anxiety attack and even used his unique magic on the fae’s apron and favorite ladle.

Yep, the old man is currently banned from cooking. (Diasomnia sent Pomefiore their thanks that day.)

Nonetheless, Lilia is now careful about his random appearances and is now more attentive.

The downside is that he permanently has his dad mode on.

This man trusts you a lot.

He knows you won't force him to do things he doesn’t like and respected the fact that his main priority is to service Malleus. The same goes that you trust him that you love him and he won't force you to do things you don’t like.

So, when he saw you spend way more time with Deuce than him especially during his sword practice, he wasn’t pleased.

He’s rather blunt about it too that he just stops you in the hallway around other students.

“Why are you hanging out with Deuce too much?”

“He’s my friend, Silver. Of course, I’ll hang out with him when you’re busy.” You cocked your head sideways out of confusion.

He frowned, still not like the ache he feels in his chest. “Doesn’t mean you have to do it every time.”

“Hey, I don’t stop you from being with Mr. Draconia every time but I get restrictions? What happened to being fair to each other?”

“It's my duty to be around Lord Malleus, you on the other hand waste your time on someone else’s company.” He defended and straightened his posture unconsciously to assert authority. “If you have free time then watch me practice or something.”

“I did that before and I ended up falling asleep on the hard ground so you told me to do something else instead, remember?” You can't help but be hurt by the contradictions he spouting out right now especially since you two have garnered the attention of almost all the students nearby. “Can you take some time to cool down first before we talk about this again? I don’t want any misunderstandings to happen between us.”

“So you can go back to Deuce’s side already?” Anger slowly seeping into his visage but immediately disappeared with your hurt expression.

“Do you trust me so little…” You whispered not intending for him to hear. “You know what, fine. I’ll go to Deuce until you finally get your head straight.”

Let me tell you now, he feels everything just came crashing down. He never intended for it to cause a big rift between the two of you but at the looks of it, you two needed space.

The entire day this man will try to talk to you again but by some unknown force in the universe, there's always something preventing him to do so.

He’s so lost he can't even take a nap even in the comfort of the forest animals.

Deuce smacked him to his sense quite literally. Like, our delinquent boy just punched the living daylights out of this guy.

Deuce has to explain that you two are pretty much siblings when it comes to closeness and you’re always talking about him all the time.

Be prepared to be serenaded tonight, Silver ain't letting you leave him on a bad note.

Well, more like that’s what Lilia taught him to do since he was young.

[mrkcore]

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐧.𝐣𝐦

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: na jaemin x f!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: jaemin as DC’s nightwing/dick greyson, hero!jaemin

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you’re the one picking him up, piece by piece, even when you’re gone.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): profanity, character deaths, blood, gun use

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.3k (woopwoop!)

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: ghost of you - 5sos, lie to me - 5sos, woke up in japan - 5sos, want you back - 5sos, more - 5sos, better man - 5sos, moving along - 5sos, thin white lies - 5sos, red desert - 5sos, lonely heart - 5sos, high - 5sos (just me being 5 seconds of summer trash)

𝐚/𝐧: part of @nct-writers​ collab, the heartbreak hotel (this is probably the longest fic i’m ever going to write, so pls gimmie feedback i will love you forever)

“imagine you're watching a runaway trolley barreling down the tracks straight towards five workers who you do not know and can't escape. you happen to be standing next to a switch that will divert the trolley onto a second track. here's the problem. that track has a worker on it, too, just one, but they’re not a stranger. what do you do? do you sacrifice that one person to save five?”

jaemin regrets being the hero in the story. 

jaemin regrets everything.

he constantly ponders the situation playing out where he wasn’t the protagonist. people have always said, “a hero would sacrifice you to save the planet, but a villain would sacrifice the planet to save you”. jaemin always thought that was bullshit, but now he knows the despairing truth. 

he regrets, he regrets, he regrets. but regret won’t bring you back.

you seemed so sure when you told him to let you go and it’d be okay, it wasn’t his fault. how was it so easy for you to think and say that? not his fault? he was basically the reason you’re dead. he just found you after so many years, now you’re gone again; but this time, it’s for real, forever.

jaemin remembers the cold tiny room he was forced to sleep in with the other children in the circus. 

it was a nightmare every single day. with kids screaming, singing, laughing, and running around the room, nobody could get any sleep. what made it worse was that jaemin had no one to talk to. 

none of the other boys liked him, being handsome, dubbed the “face of haly’s circus”, always talking behind your back how the boss always favoured him because he was bringing so many more views in. girls swarming around jaemin ever since him and his parents ever joined, it was so obvious that he was the most popular. jaemin never liked the attention, he was only trying to survive after all.

then, you arrived. 

y/n, the confounding witch, they called you. 

conjuring up little tricks for audience members, brewing up drinks to transform participants into different species of animals, and controlling birds in cages were only a few acts you could do.

the first day boss introduced you to everyone, you seemed so bright and excited to be joining. your unique eye smile, bubbly personality, and caring nature drew jaemin to you. he’s seldomly trying to calm the younger kids down so everyone can rest, but your patience and compassion towards the kids were something they weren’t used to, and eventually caved in.

soon, it became quieter in that god awful room jaemin always dreaded. but jaemin's heart beat louder in his chest than ever.

jaemin was never one to show off. like we established before, the attention jaemin got was not appreciated by him. except, it became different when you arrived.

he was constantly trying to impress you, sway you, hoping the things he did for the crowds of girls that rushed to buy tickets to see him, would work for you too.

however, that was just his wishful thinking.

you were unlike any of the interactions jaemin had with the opposite gender. you were confident, yet humble, witty, intelligent, and easy-going. he is constantly flustered whenever he is engaging in a conversation with you, but tries to act nonchalant whenever he knows you’re nearby.

after shows, girls screamed and bolted towards the entrance where jaemin stood for exit duty, to say goodbye to patrons. he’d always try to be paired with you for it, trying to make you jealous. 

but of course that never happened. jaemin would always be trampled by his enthusiastic female supporters, as surges of them stopped to interact with him. flirting with them all at the same time, they all swooned over your charms. he’d always see you giggle, laughing at his bursts of confidence he’d never have with you by yourselves. 

this continued for a year, until one day, you let something slip.

“ladies, ladies, i’m so glad you could join us for today.” jaemin smiled at the groups in front of him, glancing at you walking an elderly couple out of the tent. “make sure to take good care of yourselves, wouldn’t want anything happening to any of you sweet gals.” and cue the squeals. 

“hope you had fun pretty boy.” you directed to him calmly, as you walked back into the circus. jaemin’s head snapped to stare at your back. he’s stunned, did you just call him a “pretty boy”? 

remembering that the crowd in front of him was still there, he reacted quickly.

“i guess it’s time for me to go, i’ll catch you lovely girls at my next show, i hope.” he leaves with a wink, following your path straight towards you. 

finding you in your little assigned room, jaemin barged in, gaze fixated right on you, not even thinking what to say.

“oh, jaemin, hey.” you say, not even batting an eye, you’re focused on the book in your hands. “what’s up?”

“you called me pretty boy.” he breathed out. 

“yeah i did,” you’re still not paying attention to him. “what about it?”

“you think i’m pretty?” jaemin is suddenly very close to you, his hand caressing your face, lifting your line of sight up to meet his gaze. 

his eyes are sparkling, cheeks a slight tint of pink, with a look of determination. of course you thought he was pretty, anyone who said otherwise would either be lying, or have never seen his gorgeous face.

jaemin must’ve been acting impulsively, because when he realized how close he was to your face, he immediately pulled back.

“i am so sorry,” he says in disbelief. “i don’t know what came over me.”

“it’s okay,” you smile at him, grabbing his hand to where it was before. “i liked it.”

jaemin is flustered again, standing completely frozen as he admires your face up close. 

you’re breathtakingly beautiful. he’s known that you were attractive, but this just created even more butterflies in his stomach. 

“and yes, i do think you’re pretty.” you wink at him.

and that’s where it started.

you and jaemin started spending time together more.

jaemin was still a bit nervous and frenzied at the beginning, but that melted away, and his flirty, outgoing, and annoyingly confident side was revealed to you.

you were also quite popular amongst the other boys in the circus, so when you two were seen more frequently together, they started spreading rumours about jaemin to get you two away from each other.

“oh jaemin’s just trying to use them.”

“jaemin thinks after getting with them, he’s going to cross all of the names off his list.”

“he’s such a player, y’n’s too good for him.”

of course you’d hear them more often than him, the guys would always say these kinds of things around you.

but you know they’re just trying to stir up trouble. so you ignore them. 

just like how jaemin ignores the talk about you amongst his female supporters.

“she’s trying to take him away from us.”

“he’s not as happy anymore.”

“she thinks she’s all that, he’s probably just a new notch in her belt.”

of course jaemin would never listen to them. they’d never know about the secrets you had together, sneaking out of your rooms and sitting on the roof at night stargazing, your note exchanging, late night talks; they knew none of that. 

“i wish things weren’t like this,” you sighed, leaning on his shoulder as you two look at the early sunrise. “i wish we could be free and do whatever we want. this is so unfair.”

jaemin has never really thought about that. every day, his head was flooded with you. but now he thinks about it, it truly was unfair.

jaemin wishes he could take you on on real dates, take you on meaningful trips to explore the rest of the world. not hidden in this awful place where you could barely talk to each other in public. jaemin wishes he could give you more.

“it’s not your fault nana,” you look up at him like you’ve read his mind and know he’s overthinking. “there’s nothing you can do.”

“yeah,” jaemin exhales. “i know.” he tries to smile when you reach up to caress his face, you look at him with so much fondness, jaemin’s worries are almost all blown away. but you know he’s going to be pondering about this for the next week.

“maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our wicked fate.”

but all the gossip got to the point where the boss heard about it, and asked you guys to talk in his office.

“i think we should end it here.” you say one night on the roof, seemingly out of the blue.

“what?” jaemin is speechless, where did that come from? did he hear you wrong?

“he literally asked us to talk,” you’re facing the ground, not even daring to look at him. “it’s serious this time.”

“so you’re going to just throw all of this away?” jaemin asks, slightly furious. “just because of what a bunch of losers are saying?”

“it’s for the best,” you’re still not looking at him. “for the both of us.”

when you finally do look up to see jaemin’s reaction, you see tears in his eyes and you wish you hadn’t looked up.

“fine, if that’s what you want.” jaemin turns around and walks away, breaking that silence.

but what jaemin didn’t know was that it broke your heart to pieces. it took you so much courage to break it off with him, but in the end, you knew what boss haly was capable of. you needed to protect him, so if this is how it needed to go, it’s for the best.

the meeting the next day went smoothly, it was easy for both of you to deny everything since jaemin was giving you the cold shoulder. you didn’t need to pretend. it was for the sake of the both of you.

after the meeting, you didn’t get the chance to talk to jaemin as he rushed to get ready for his special act today. but it’s not like he would listen to you anyways, you couldn’t blame him.

you felt the aura of the circus today, it felt off. very off. 

maybe it was because you were so shaken by you and jaemin's fight. maybe it was nothing, and you were just overreacting. everything was probably fine.

except it wasn’t.  

as all of the spectators settled into their seats, when you tried to peak through the curtain to see the turnout, and as expected, it was packed.

but something catches your eye. a black raven flies in, the ambience in the tent suddenly changes so fast if gives you whiplash. this isn’t good. this isn’t good at all. something bad is going to happen, really bad. 

you’ve never seen that bird in your entire life, and it suddenly hits you.

someone is going to die tonight.

you pray and pray it’s going to be fine, but the unsettling energy gets to you. you need to tell someone.

“jaemin, jaemin!” you call out to him. he turns around, but when he sees you, his face turns sour. your heart sinks, but what you’re about to tell him is more important, so you brush it away.

“what do you want.” he snarls, you gulp back a sob. 

“something bad’s going to happen, i can feel it.” tears are threatening to spill out of you eyes. “someone’s going to die, and i don’t know what to do.”

“oh, so now you care?” jaemin rolls his eyes. “are you jealous that it’s my show tonight and all of those girls front row are here to see me and think they have a chance with me?” you’re shocked by his words, your eyes are wide. you never thought he was capable of saying something like that. “you’re just a little witch, and it’s all just an act. let it go.” tears stream down your face as jaemin huffs and walks away, strutting into the crowd as the ringmaster announces their act: “the flying greysons!”.

and jaemin was wrong. you were right. something awful happened that day.

jaemin watches helplessly as his parents’ high wires snaps and they pummel to their death. 

you were right. and he couldn’t do anything about it.

jaemin runs away that night as he leaves you in that horrible place by yourself, and you never see him again.

and here jaemin is. 10 years after the incident, a college student by day, leader of a crime fighting superhero team by night.

after the incident of his parents’ death, mr. jung jaehyun finds him on his path. crying, sobbing, and vulnerable. jaehyun takes jaemin in under his wing. providing him shelter, food, and as much support as he could. jaemin slowly realized jaehyun’s second identity: batman. 

jaemin has heard of jaehyun’s street name. but he’d never thought that he’d meet him in real life, and batman would be someone so similar to him. jaehyun saw a reflection of his younger self, the grief of losing your parents, the reality check of the world being a cruel place at a young age, he didn’t want jaemin to spiral in the same way he did. 

so even though jaemin lived a life of normalcy, his past never stopped coming back to haunt him. 

especially you.

jaehyun dug up some information about the circus, and piles and piles of their dark secrets were revealed. so did the truth of jaemin’s parents’ deaths too. how a well-known and feared crime-lord, threatened the circus unless the owner paid extortion money. boss haly refused, and that night someone messed with the equipment for the performance, resulting in the catastrophe. 

you were right all along, and jaemin didn’t listen to you. it was his fault, everything was his fault.

he even left you there by yourself, all alone, and he never got to say goodbye. oh how wishes he could see you one last time, and say all those things he wanted to these years. 

nightmares woke him throughout elementary school, middle school, high school, and even sometimes during his college time.

the same dream over and over, you reaching your hand out for jaemin to grab and save, but he’s too far away. and you fade away. 

inspired by what jaehyun did to help him, jaemin started to do the same. 

with a bunch of lost and uncared for young kids in new york, jaemin took them under his wing like jaehyun did with him.

with help from trusted individuals he met on the street, mark, renjun, jeno, and haechan, they started to take care of chenle and jisung full time. getting them off the street, given proper shelter, food, water, clean clothes, and access to education, this was the start of the dreamies. 

today was the same as any other.

jaemin’s philosophy and law studies class has just finished up and he’s walking to his favourite cafe to finish up some work.

“jaemin?” he hears a familiar voice behind him. 

he turns around and sees you. you haven’t changed a bit, still as homely and comforting as he can remember.

is he in a dream right now? how is this possible? 

“oh gosh, it really is you.” you laughed, the same laugh you had. jaemin feels this unknown warmth and reassurance with you here, like a weight has just been lifted off his shoulders.

“y/n.” he finally speaks. your eyes glimmer, looking at him affectionately.

“yep, right here in the flesh.” jaemin starts tearing up. “oh you big baby, why are you crying?”

jaemin pulls you in as he hugs your waist.

surprised by his emotional state, you were going to speak up again. but you choose not to. standing there, a bit awkwardly, stroking his soft hair, embracing him.

and you’re back. 

jaemin learns that you recently moved to new york city recently for your journalist job position, and you’re looking for a place to move in to.

he’s quick to offer his place, even though he’s still in college, his apartment is big enough for two people.

“are you sure?” you’re hesitant to accept his suggestion. “i don't want to be a big burden. you’re probably really busy as a student.”

“no, i’m fine.” he responds, enthusiastically. “my schedule is pretty much free since i’m third year now.”

and you accept. saying you’re only going to crash for a while until you found another place.

cherishing the time you had together, during the day, jaemin went to his lectures while you went to work, but when you got home, you did everything together. to the point where jaemin barely saw the dreamies, his crime-fighting crew.

staying up to watch the stars and sunrise, talking and laughing until your eyes were threatening to close. conversing about literally anything. 

but as time went by, you noticed that jaemin didn’t really want to talk about what happened back at the circus. you understood since he lost his parents that night, but he never asked you about how you left and ended up in new york. but you don’t push it, you understand that it’s a rough patch in both of you guys’ lives. 

“do you have anything that you regret?” you ask one night, you truly were just curious.

“not listening to you that night.” he says, monotone. “and leaving you by yourself at the circus when i ran away.”

“jaemin…” you start, but no words leave your mouth.

“fuck!” jaemin abruptly exclaims, mood crashing, turning furious. “it’s all that bastard haly’s fault.”

you shouldn’t have asked.

“if he didn’t make that fucking circus, everything would have been fine! it’s his fault, all his fault, i’m going to get revenge and kill that son-of-a-bitch one day!” he’s yelling now. “we could have met in normal circumstances, we could’ve gotten married, created a family, enjoyed life like all of these snarky city folk. why?”

you wipe the tears that are rolling down his face as he turns to cry in your chest. 

“i’m sorry i brought this up.” you pat his head as his sobs turn into soft snores, head in your lap. “maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.” 

it’s been a year now. it doesn’t seem like you’re moving out anytime soon, but jaemin’s not complaining. he loves having you here, you’ve become a standard part of his day. 

with jaemin more adapted to your appearance, he has started to become more involved with the dreamies.

helping 10-15 kids each month, the squad has advanced to milestones jaemin never thought it’d be at. he is so thankful to have the group and you there supporting him.

you’ve even discussed marriage. 

“y/n na has a nice ring to it, y’know.” jaemin beams.

“you’re such a softie.” you giggle out, but jaemin knows you like it. 

jaemin knows you want to wait until you have a stable job and when he graduates, but the thought always makes him elated. 

“what song would you play for our first dance at out wedding?” he asked one morning, waking up to the sun shining heavenly on you.

“hmm,” you grin. “best part, daniel caesar, h.e.r.”

“you’re perfect.” jaemin kisses your face as you cuddle into his warm chest.

imagining you in a white dress, walking up to the alter on your wedding day, saying your vows, slow dancing. you’re the only person jaemin has visioned a future with, and the only person jaemin wants a future with. 

the next day, you agree to slow dance with him in the living room.

jaemin is on cloud nine.

but like the old saying, all good things must come to an end. 

it’s been 5 years now.

jaemin comes home one night to the apartment door open, which is really unusual.

jaemin thinks it might be a robbery, but nothing is stolen, the apartment looked the same as it was when he left this morning.

but you’re nowhere to be found. jaemin isn’t panicked, maybe you went on a walk and forgot to close the door–

there’s a note on the dining room table.

“meet me on the top of the empire state building to see y/n, if you bring someone else, it’ll be for the last time.”

what is that supposed to mean?

was it one of the dreamies’ past enemies trying to get back at them? 

nonetheless, jaemin is bolting out the door.

when he gets there, he sees the dreamies tied up, sitting and struggling at the feet of someone jaemin never thought he’d see ever again. c.c. haly, the owner of haly’s circus jaemin escaped a whole decade ago.

haly smirks as he sees jaemin approaching, but jaemin is scowling. 

“what are you doing here?” jaemin snaps out, carefully advancing.

“i’m here to finish what you started.” haly says.

“how did you even find me?” jaemin snarls, stopping a fair distance between him and haly. “how did you find my friends?”

unexpectedly, haly starts to cackle loudly at his questions. turning around to reveal someone who has been absent, someone jaemin would never have thought of.

you. 

jaemin’s mind is internally crashing. why are you with haly? what is going on?

“y/n, do you want to explain to our dear jaemin here what’s going on?” haly finds so much amusement playing with you both, watching this event unfold.

“jaemin, i’m so sorry.” your lips are trembling, tears are starting to flood your vision.

“so it was all a lie?” jaemin can’t believe it. “everything that happened this year, it was just you building up to just stab me in the back?”

“i did it to protect you.” you’re sobbing hard now.

“save it.” jaemin cuts you off, now focusing on haly. “what do you want.”

“i want you dead.” haly says, blankly. 

“so what’s the deal.” the dreamies’ mouths were duct taped, but their muffled cries can still be heard.

haly is howling again.

“i get to kill you,” haly grins sinisterly. “and i let y/n and your little friends free.”

“if jaemin says yes, let me say one last thing to him.” your crying has stopped. “it’s the least you can do.”

jaemin is confused. are you just offering him up to haly with no fight? what are you thinking?

you look at him with pleading eyes, asking him to trust you. 

the same eyes he saw that day his parents died, and he knows to trust you.

“okay,” jaemin states boldly. “i say yes. now let y/n talk to me.”

haly is stunned. how did you convince jaemin to agree so quick? maybe haly was right to use you this time. the least he could do is to let jaemin and you have time to still pretend to be in love. so haly allows you to walk up to jaemin to talk.

“y/n, what are you doing.” jaemin whispers frantically.

“trust me, trust me this time.” you glance at him with weary eyes. “when i’m walking back to haly, when i signal to you, i want you to grab your friends and run. can you do that for me?” 

“what?” jaemin tries not to react to much that haly catches on, but do you hear what you’re suggesting? “you want me to just leave you here again?”

“jaemin listen to me, i’ll be fine. trust me.”

and you turn around, not letting jaemin respond.

there’s nothing he can do but go along with your plan.

and when you signal to him behind your back, jaemin grabs the dreamies and drags them away. everything is a whirlwind and happens in a flash. jaemin looks back and you’re struggling trying to get the gun out of haly’s hand. 

you notice jaemin stopping.

“jaemin, fucking RUN.” you scream at him.

there’s nothing he can do. and he hates himself that he got himself in this situation again. so he runs again, like the coward he is.

jaemin runs, because literally the dreamies’ lives are depending on him. when he gets them to safety, when he unties jeno, jeno pushes him towards where they came from.

“go.” jeno is huffing trying to catch his breath after removing the duct tape off his mouth. “i’ll untie everyone else, go get her.”

jaemin looks at jeno, and turns back for you.

when jaemin arrives back at the scene, you’re on the ground. he runs panic-stricken to you, finding you bleeding out really hard. 

“y/n? y/n, y/n please, are you okay?” he’s shaking you, distraught seeing you in this state.

“jaemin, i’m okay.” you say, barely any breath left in you. “i have the gun here, haly is behind the big box over there.”

“y/n, what are you talking about, we need to get you to the hospital.” jaemin tries to pick you up but you don’t allow him.

“use the gun and kill him.” you mutter out, quieter than before. “it’s what you wanted, jaemin. and he’ll be gone.” you’re smiling softly just thinking about it.

“y/n, are you insane? you’re going to die i could care less about haly, i’m taking you to the hospital–”

“jaemin let me go.” you mumble, stroking his cheek while you’re examining his pretty face for the last time. “it’ll be okay, it’s not your fault.”

“y/n…” jaemin’s tears are staining his shirt as he holds you tightly, trying to preserve your life.

“i love you, na jaemin.” a tear falls from your dazed gaze and trickles down your cold face. “i’m sorry that this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.”

and you’re gone. 

jaemin screams. tears dripping down his face, he picks up the gun beside you and storms towards haly.

he’s basically sitting in a pool of his own blood and has no strength to get up anymore.

“is little greyson here to get revenge for his parents and little witch y/n?” he cackles even in the last moments of his life.

“yeah i am, they didn’t die for you to see another day too.”

haly is laughing sadistically again as if jaemin just told a joke, but the laughter subsides after the bullets fire through haly’s limp body. 

and he’s dead too. leaving jaemin alone, again. 

it’s been 2 years since you’ve died.

here he is, waking up. still can’t sleep on your side.

he really can’t sleep on your side, because it reminds him of those times where he woke up to your warm embrace, and now it’s desolately cold.

there’s your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time.

he’s saved everything you had, and hasn’t touched anything. he’s also saved everything you shared, your bed, your apartment, everything. he needs those to remind him of those bittersweet memories of you.

when jaemin was going through your stuff, he finds a piece of paper on your work desk.

my dear jaemin,

when you find this, i’m probably going to be gone. but that’s okay, and i’ll tell you why.

first of all, thank you so much for these past 5 years. thank you for showing me what living life is like, what being a part of a family is like, and what being in love is like. you told me you wished you could give me a normal life, and you really fulfilled your wish. 

you must have so many questions right now, so i’m going to answer them.

i never left haly’s after you ran away. i couldn’t. because he was threatened by so many mobs and gangs everywhere, he had to kill off the other people that were a part of the circus. but he kept me. because i was the key to you. the government started an investigation into him, and he needed to keep a low-profile, but he still was angry that you didn’t die that night too. so he plotted this for years, and i just had to go along with it.

at first, i only agreed because i wanted to see you. i was young and still naive at the time, thinking that he wanted to see you too. but as i got older, i saw what he was planning. he would kill me in front of you and then take you out as well if i didn’t do as he said, so i kept quiet. i really did this to protect you.

i enjoyed every second being with you. you showed me the meaning of life i heard our patrons talk about. you showed me what true love was when i saw those elderly couples walking together as they look at each other adoringly while telling me they’ve been in love and married for decades. if i could choose to stay with you for a lifetime, i would, i would choose it a million times.

but i thought very long about this, and it truly is the only way.

remember when i asked you if you regretted anything that night? you mentioned how you regretted not listening to me, how you left me alone at the circus. and that’s when i realized, it was indeed our cruel fate.

you feel bad for me. you feel bad that you didn’t listen, you feel bad for leaving me at the circus, but it’s been over a decade. i know with me constantly here, you’re never going to stop feeling guilty, you’d never let the past go. we’re too young, too dumb, to know things like love. but i know better now. 

so jaemin, i did what i had to do. the best for the both of us. you got your revenge for your parents, and you’ll stop feeling guilty because i don’t want to hold you back and keep you feeling like this forever. 

i’m sorry jaemin i put you through all of this, and reminder that this is not your fault.

my love, nana, truly, truly, truly, thank you for everything. everything, everything, everything. 

there wasn’t a single day where i stopped wanting you. i want you in the most innocent form, i want to say goodnight to you and give you forehead kisses and say i love you when you feel at your worst. i want you in ways where i just want to be next to you and nothing more or less. i wish i could explain your eyes, oh how i adore your angel eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. how your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time i’m with you, i feel so complete. i swear when our lips touched, i could taste the remaining years of my life. i want you to know that when i picture myself happy, it’s with you.

i’ve looked at you in millions of ways, and i have loved you in every way.

but this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.

my pretty boy, i love you forever.

his tears are ruining the page, and jaemin tries to wipe his tears away to save the letter.

when he turns around, he swears he can see you. and he chases it down, with a shot of truth.

maybe if he dreams long enough, you’d tell him he’d be just fine.

walking into the living room, remembering how you guys would slow dance like it was your wedding. your wedding. 

and he drowns it out, like he always does. dancing through your house, with a shot of truth, that his feet don’t dance, like the way they did with you.

jaemin knows your letter was right, he’s going to slowly get better, but he needs some time. meanwhile, he needs something help him cope, to get him by. 

so he’s dancing through your house, with the ghost of you.

©mrkcore, 2021.

[nctsjiho]

Lost Boy

warnings: none

era: fall 2018

❀ JiHo and Winwin go on a little mission to find a lost child’s parents

“I don’t know who’s idea it was to leave an 18 year old and an awkward foreigner boy alone in a foreign country, but the idea doesn’t sound the brightest.” JiHo noted while she scanned her surroundings. Winwin took slight offence to the comment and pushed her arm. “Hey! I’m not awkward.” The girl only sent him a smirk before looking around again.

The pair were outside in a less busy area of LA, while their manager went inside a store to grab some essentials. Normally something like that wouldn’t be allowed by the company so the manager had made JiHo and Winwin promise they wouldn’t tell anyone about it. Of course JiHo took advantage of the situation by requesting the manager would buy them some snacks - which also wasn’t allowed during JiHo’s diet, but the manager had to choose between potentially loosing his job, or just getting told of for letting JiHo break her diet. The decision was easily made.

While Winwin and JiHo immersed themselves in a casual conversation, JiHo suddenly felt a tug at her jacket. A little shocked at the unexpected movement, the girl looked down to see a small boy looking up at her. He must have only been around 5 years old, which made JiHo confused about who would let such a young child alone. But by the looks of the boy’s wide and teary eyes, it was definitely a case of a lost child, probably scared out of his mind.

JiHo’s features immediately softened, not wanting her underlying panic and concern for the boy affect the kid. “Hey little guy, what are you doing here alone?” JiHo asked in English and crouched down so she was at eye level with him. The little boy, however, didn’t respond. His lips were slightly trembling and his tears pooled at the corner of his eyes.

Winwin, who felt as shocked to see the lost child, crouched down as well and when the boy faced him he waved. “Hello.” He greeted in Korean, which had JiHo roll her eyes. “You weirdo, he doesn’t understand Korean. We’re in America.” She scolded, hitting her friend’s arm lightly. “You don’t know that.” Winwin retaliated. 

Before JiHo could fire back, the “arguing” friends heard a little giggle from the young boy. They both looked at the boy with smiles growing on their faces. “We sound funny don’t we?” JiHo asked and the young boy nodded, causing JiHo to laugh. She quickly translated to Winwin who found it endearing as well.

“What’s your name?” “Jonas.” The boy started to feel shy and casted his gaze on the floor. “Hi Jonas.” Winwin’s sweet tone completely stole the young boy’s heart as he now confidently smiled at Winwin. “No matter where we are, no matter who it is, everyone always falls in love with you.” JiHo snickered to which the older boy shrugged and then continued to wave at Jonas.

“What happened Jonas? Where are your parents?” The boy looked up at JiHo before explaining that they were with him at the park nearby and then suddenly he couldn’t see them anymore. “Did you cross the street all by yourself?” Jonas nodded as his eyes began to fill with even more tears. “Hey, don’t cry. We’ll go find your parents, but you should never cross the street by yourself okay?” Again the boy nodded and JiHo stood up.

Not really understanding what JiHo had just said, Winwin followed her lead and stood up as well. “What are we doing?” Winwin asked and JiHo’s eyes fell on the store their manager walked into about 5 minutes ago. “We’re going to find Jonas’ parents.” She looked at the small boy who was holding onto her hand and looking around the street, hoping to find his parents.

Winwin felt a bit uneasy, even though he wanted to help the child, their manager had no idea what was happening and had “ordered” them to wait outside and not move until he was back. JiHo noticed her friend’s inner turmoil and groaned. “If I have to I’ll go alone, but I’m not letting a kid go and find his parents alone in the late afternoon.” “But can’t we wait till hyung is back and go together?” Winwin tried to compromise. “We don’t know how long he’s going to be in there, and I don’t know how long his parents have been looking for their son. They must feel devastated.”

JiHo noticed how cold Jonas’ hand was so she took her jacket of and wrapped it around the little boy’s shoulders. “I’ll carry you.” She crouched down and Jonas wrapped his tiny arms around JiHo’s neck as he let her pick him up. “I’m going to look for his parents. You’re free to come or stay here, but I’m going.” JiHo told Winwin and then left in the direction of the park.

Winwin did a double take of the store before running and catching up to JiHo and Jonas. “I’m not letting you go alone.” He mumbled, to which JiHo felt a smile creeping on her lips.

Once they enter the park, JiHo asks Jonas a few questions like, “Where was the last place you saw your parents?” and “Did you see in which direction they left?”. Jonas wasn’t much of a help since he didn’t remember much. Yet JiHo completely understood, the boy lost his parents, he must have been so scared and panicked.

5 minutes went by, but they felt like at least half an hour and still they hadn’t found Jonas’ parents. Noticing how the small boy started to become a bit more restless Winwin came up with an idea. “I’ll carry him and you can run around and ask people if you have seen his parents.” Winwin suggested to which JiHo agreed. She handed over Jonas to Winwin who tried his best to entertain the boy. His English skills were very minimal, but Jonas seemed to prefer him saying things in Korean anyway. Each time he did, it elicited a giggle or a smile.

All Winwin had to do was keep Jonas calm, so JiHo could run around and hopefully find Jonas’ parents as soon as possible. He hated the fact that JiHo was running around alone at 5 pm on a particularly cold day, in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. Her jacket was still wrapped around Jonas, who seemed to appreciate the warmth it provided.

Winwin’s mind was clouded with so many thoughts, what if they didn’t find Jonas’ parents? What if something happened to JiHo? She was only 18 - technically speaking 17, her birthday was in a few months -  in a foreign country, with no supervision. Speaking of supervision, how was their manger going to react? Had he already left the store? Had he noticed him and JiHo weren’t there yet? How-

“Jonas!” “My baby!” Winwin’s head snapped to the direction of the screams. There he saw JiHo and two adults running towards them. “Mommy! Daddy!” The little boy screamed, happy to see his parents again. Quickly, Jonas was scooped out of Winwin’s grasp by the little boy’s father. “Thank you two so much! Oh my God, I was so scared!” The mother cried and pulled JiHo in a hug.

Once the mother stopped crying and had hugged her child, they turned to the two idols. “Thank you again! Thanks for taking care of my little boy.” The father said, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart. “No worries, your son is such a nice boy.” JiHo explained while she got her jacket handed back. “How could I ever repay you?” JiHo held up her hands explaining that they were okay and didn’t need anything. “Did they take good care of you?” The father asked Jonas who then excitedly started telling about how nice JiHo was and how funny Winwin and JiHo talked to each other. It melted both their hearts and then they waved the family goodbye after getting a last hug from the boy.

“He was cute.” Winwin smiled to which JiHo agreed. She then poked his shoulder twice. “We should head back, oppa isn’t going to be happy-” “YOU TWO!” As if on cue, their manager appears, sweat was dripping of his temples as he approached them. “I told you to wait in front of the store! I could already see my career- no, my whole life flash in front of my eyes!” JiHo and Winwin look at their manager with a sheepish grin. “Why are you here?” Winwin then explained what happened and their manager’s gaze softened.

“Next time, don’t forget your phones in the hotel okay? I was worried sick, but thank God you’re both fine.” The manager patted both idols’ shoulders. “And you did something amazing. I’m happy you found that little boy’s parents. I think I almost can relate to his parents.” JiHo cooed at their manager and looked up at him with big eyes. “Aw~ You care about us like we’re your own children?” JiHo teased which caused Winwin to laugh. “Never mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to find you.” He groaned.

“Me?! Why are you looking at me only? What about Winwin?!” JiHo asked offended. “What do you mean, JiHo? Didn’t you say everyone always falls in love with me?” The boy wiggled his brow as he mocked the girl. She rolled her eyes while looking at the manager. “Yeah, I think I prefer Winwin right now. Here you go buddy.” He hands him the snacks he got for him earlier. “What about mine?” The manager laughed. “I stress binge ate your snack while I was looking for you guys.” JiHo stopped in her tracks, mouth fallen open while the other two continue to walk. “That’s so unfair.” JiHo mumbled but quickly rushed to catch up with the others.

“Be careful what you say oppa. I can tell SM about how you left us alone outside-” “Here!” He shoved a bag of snacks into JiHo’s hands which made her smile sweetly. “Have I ever told you, you are my favourite manager?” JiHo beamed while opening the snack. “Shut up and eat.” He grumbled.

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Side Note: Long overdue Winwin writing, there’s still a few members that I haven’t written for, so I’m slowly getting there. The member’s I haven’t written for, funnily enough, are some of the ones that I want to write for the most, but I’m having a hard time finding the perfect stories for them. Just letting you know, so you know that I love them as much as the other members. I know Haechan and Doyoung appear on this blog the most, (and I might have another Doyoung angst in my drafts) but that isn’t because I like them more, I love all NCT members equally. <3

Also posting 2 days in a row because I felt inspired and I might have given up on an assignment for this