#'i made you to be consumed' 'i've known you for two centuries have i not suffered enough?'

[darkjusticiar]

I know i've made like 3 of the same posts before but it just kills me because I love him as a villain and feel like there's a lot to discuss so I go into the cazador tag and everyone's like "so glad this greasy ugly guy was so easy to kill" stop being mean to him... have you considered that some of us want to appreciate arch villainy wherever we may find it? Have you considered how he has some of the rawest lines in the entire game? How he learned how to abuse and manipulate and terrorize Astarion because he lived it? How an ascended Astarion parallels Cazador so cleanly in words, tone and action?

[critrolesideblog]

I've been noodling around for a while on a little fic of Yussa and Essek's first meeting, and I think it might actually be done by this WIP Wednesday! In light of this exciting development, here is a little preview...

Yussa's tower contained a number of receiving rooms for guests of varying importance. The one Sylmarr was ushered into had walls painted a shade of blue that matched the midday sky outside and high windows that opened onto balconies rarely visible from the exterior but which offered sweeping views of the city, the harbor, and the ocean. Layers of finely woven linen curtains filtered the bright Nicodranian sunlight. The furniture was made of imported, Uthodurnian maple, expensive but not ostentatious. Yussa settled into his favorite high-backed chair, upholstered in a rich turquoise velvet, by the tea table as Sylmarr paused by the window overlooking the city. When he turned back to the room, his politician's smile was gone, replaced by a thoughtful frown.

"So, do you think my Elvish is good enough to continue with this disguise?"

"Briefly, perhaps, but if you plan to spend much time in the Menagerie Coast, your accent is just strong enough to garner unwanted attention. I would recommend limiting its use to places further afield."

"Understood."

He sat gingerly on the edge of the chair opposite Yussa, as if it might grow a mouth and consume him if he got comfortable. Not an unreasonable fear, all things considered, Yussa mused as he poured the tea. One of the adventurers he traveled with centuries ago was almost consumed by such a creature… Talia? No, Talia, when he traveled with the Wandering Wyrd, was almost killed by a Gelatinous Cube. It was Tyros with the --

"You have lived in Nicodranas for some time?"

"For over two centuries. Before that I traveled. A little bird told me--" at three in the morning last night, when she could not sleep and decided to make that Yussa's problem "--you have been travelling yourself recently."

"A bit."

"With Caleb Widogast?"

"He speaks very highly of you."

"He is an impressive talent and a good ally."

"And a good friend."

"I have not known many high-born Drow to speak of friends."

"Well," Sylmarr retrieved his teacup from its saucer. "I have been called exceptional."

[alexanderpearce]

ooh i would absolutely love a media rec list from you (im a different anon but 👀)

omg u flatter me.. here are some pieces of media that i really love that i consider to be somewhat lesser known outside of my circles.. i do have lots of favourites not mentioned here that are far more mainstream (my favourite book ever is, embarrassingly, still The Secret History) but it's nice to shine a light on the more niche. i'll add content warnings but they're not comprehensive because i am just going by memory. im also not tagging gore because To be honest with me that's a given.

books and plays

Hypnerotomachia Poliphili (1499) by Anonymous/Francesco Colonna; very strange book where the author (who is actually revealed in an acrostic poem in Latin made by the first letter of each chapter) clearly has a sexual fetish for buildings and architecture. cw misogyny.

Seneca's Phaedra (1st century AD); i live here. Seneca's tragedy about doomed fatal diseased love. sorry i don't have a translation to recommend but you will be able to read mine one day i promise. cw pseudo-incest, misogyny.

The Pepsi-Cola Addict (1982) by June Alison Gibbons; vanity-published in the 1980s and only existing in five libraries around the world (until i suppose its republishing this or last year), this is a fascinating and very weird little book, and the story behind it too is very sad and interesting. i have a pdf if anyone wants it. cw predatory relationships, incest references, suicide.

The Doloriad (2022) by Missouri Williams; strange and swirling little debut set in a post-apocalyptic future, some really incredible prose. cw incest.

Geek Love (1989) by Katherine Dunne; What if the mother of sideshow freaks was purposefully consuming poisons and alcohols and cetera while pregnant to engineer her kids to be attractions Would that be fucked up for what. cw incest and the ableism inherent in the sideshow "freaks" scene.

Equus (1973) by Peter Shaffer; just read this fucking play man (or watch the 1977 movie!). cw animal death

movies

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) dir. Darren Lynn Bousman; sorry not sorry but this is my favourite movie ever. i've seen it 17 times. complete garbage trashy 2000s comedy-horror-gore-musical. insane cast. literal genius.

Caligula (1979) dir. Tinto Brass; Do you want to watch a two and a half hour long porno filled with torture and gorgeous costumes and conversations on power. well do i have the movie for you. cw rape, incest, i know i said i wouldnt tag gore but this one does have explicit penis mutilation so.

Van Diemen's Land (2009) dir. Jonathan auf der Heide; a pretty good movie adaptation of alexander pearce's first descent into cannibalism!! my main real criticism is that they desaturated the gorgeous green and vibrant west coast to grey doomy fakeness. cw beautiful gay love

Żywot Mateusza (1968) dir. Witold Leszczyński; incredible little Polish movie set in a rural village, on youtube with english subtitles.

May (2002) dir. Lucky Mckee; literally the most relatable movie of all time to me. socially awkward (super autistic) girl has trouble with love, you won't Believe what happens next

The Lair of the White Worm (1988) dir. Ken Russell; peter capaldi and hugh grant's earth shattering gay love story... super campy phallic lesbic homoerotic vampiric wyrmesque weirdo horror. peter capaldi wears a kilt and plays the bagpipes. you MUST watch this movie.

Ravenous (1999) dir. Antonia Bird; can cannibalism represent manifest destiny AND homosexuality? find out now!

And Then There Were None (2015) dir. Craig Viveiros; Agatha Christie could only dream of writing Burn Gorman's gay homophobic character in this. transcends the book hundredfold and if you disagree you genuinely have shit taste.

albums

At Least For Now by Benjamin Clementine; just listen to this right now i mean it this shit is fucking phenomenal. incredible voice and lyrics and piano and strings.

Stygian Bough Volume I by Aerial Ruin and Bell Witch; gorgeous atmospheric doomy metal

Ludevo by Ifi Ude; Polish folk with a modern twist as well as influences from Ude's Nigerian background, songs about death and drunkenness and love and ancient pinewoods

Songs About Teeth and To The Dark Tower by Cake Bake Betty; the vibe you have created is so freaky and awesome

Juniverbrecher by The Indelicates; something something brexit punch and judy isn't englishness awful etc etc. seriously underrated.

Bath Time by Maija Sofia; super atmospheric devastating album with lots of songs focusing on specific female figures throughout history. her recent album is also great.

honourable mention to The Thick of It (2005-2012) which if you follow my sideblog you will know ive been spiralling into depravity over for months now. you may ask, if you compare my posts to what the show is actually like, What on earth is she talking about and to that i have nothing to say

[ofduskanddreams]

Trust In My Hate: an Azris /Captive Prince Crossover

I likely won't start truly writing this fic until after What Lies Inside is completed, but I've been having a lot of fun planning, worldbuilding and outlining so I thought I would share some of it (but please note that the content of this post is subject to change, nothing’s final just yet.)

If you aren't familiar with the series, it's the Captive Prince Trilogy by C.S Pacat. [link to Penguin's page for the series here.]

I'm not calling this an AU because I'm not transplanting Azris to the Captive Prince (CaPri) world, nor am I transplanting the CaPri plot into ACOTAR. The world where the fic is set is inspired by both the CaPri and ACOTAR, as you can clearly see in the map below. The characters are maybe 60% ACOTAR, 25% OC, 15% CaPri. The plot is like 60% CaPri, 20% post-canon ACOTAR, 20% original. I essentially threw everything I liked into a blender and made something new.

Find the map and the fic's prologue below the cut! [new map and updated prologue as of 2/22]

Map:

I recommend clicking on the map to view it at a higher resolution.

Prologue:

This will explain the map, I promise.

Excerpts from the Illyrian Chronicle, compiled by Gaspar Kasos for his majesty King Gabriel in the year 207 AL (after liberation.) Long ago, the great Island of Prythian was divided into eight kingdoms. The Kingdom of Andr in the far north, and a coalition of seven kingdoms known collectively as the Courts. There were four seasonal Courts: Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter; and three solar Courts known as Dawn, Day, and Night. Five centuries ago, Cornelius II, then the ruler of the Autumn Court, began a campaign of expansion. By the time his great-great-grandson Timothy IV took the throne, the Autumn Court’s power had consumed the other three seasonal Courts. Timothy did not think Andr, that rocky formidable land, worth the resources necessary to claim it and thus turned his gaze to the south.

In response to the growing threat from the north, Dawn allied with Day. Both would remain neutral in the initial conflicts to come which distanced them from the Night Court who stood fixedly against Autumn’s actions. 

Not long after this coalition was formed, a rebellion broke out in Night. For centuries the Night Court’s rulers had oppressed the Illyrian people within their borders, forcing them to live in desolate camps and serve in their armies. Under the leadership of the warrior Enalius, the Illyrians were able to break away from the Night’s oppression. During the revolution they conquered half of Night, establishing the great Kingdom of Illyria as it stands today. 

Though Dawn and Day remained neutral for decades, it would not last. On the Winter Solstice in 57 AL, Autumn spies massacred Dawn's royal line in its entirety, prompting Night to join the Southern Coalition with Day to stand against Autumn and aid in governing Dawn's rulerless territory on the border. 

Thirty-seven years ago the newly crowned King Rholand of Night and King Gabriel of Illyria met on the border at Mount Ramiel to discuss a tentative peace, marking the end of over a century and a half of strife between their lands. Rholand offered Illyria a public apology for Night’s persecution of their people, as well as a generous peace treaty and trade agreement that leaned heavily in Illyria’s favor. It was at this summit when Illyria formally joined the alliance against Autumn and the allied Southern Kingdoms as we know them were formed. The final offering on that celebrated day however, was made by no kingdom but by King Rholand's younger sister.

The Lady Elyssa of Night surprised all of those gathered by offering King Gabriel her hand in marriage, arguing that there would be no better demonstration of this new, peaceful relationship between their kingdoms than joining their houses by blood. Impressed by her eloquence and resolve, and after discussing the terms with Rholand, Gabriel accepted the proposal and the two were wed the following sunset at the grand temple in Illyria’s capital, Ios. 

The three southern rulers of Prythian ensured that their sons and heirs—the Princes Azrelios of Illyria, Rhysand of Night, and Lucien of Day—grew up paying frequent visits between their lands to bolster the trio’s camaraderie. The rulers’ forethought was well rewarded when a brutal battle broke out at Marlas in the borderlands at the eve of this current decade. 

The three young, then untested heirs valiantly led their forces against Autumn’s armies, but the battle only ceased when the Illyria’s Prince met Eren Vanserra, Heir to the Autumn Throne, in single combat and slew him on the battlefield. Eren’s death placed his younger brother Eris next in the line of succession. 

The battle of Marlas shattered over two centuries of relative peace between Autumn and the South. Nine years later, skirmishes are still frequent in the borderlands and tensions between Autumn and the Southern Kingdoms are at an all time high.

If you made it this far, thank you <3 I know I'm a nerd. Yes, I made the map myself and likely spent waaayyyy too much time on it but I think it's pretty cool and I hope it stoked some excitement!

[historia-vitae-magistras]

I'm a bit delirious now but regarding the lumber incident, is that the one last 2017? I read that Canada placed tariffs on US gypsum exports in retaliation, and even planned to impose tariffs on coal and other products made in Oregon (the hometown of that senator who advocated for tariffs against Canada but I can't remember the name). but I remember that the book I read about this was by Thomas Oatley

anyway, NA bros pettiness 😭

So preface: This is one of those topics where I am blatantly a Canadian. Like violently angry about the US bullshit on this. Like you want a topic that instantly makes me a blue-flannel, blowing-up-busts-of-queen-victoria Quebecois stereotype, this is it. My family has been seasonal loggers for literally centuries and my ancestral plot of old growth trees was obliterated in a fire this past summer so this is an emotional topic for me. That said, its BC that gets fucked more in the ass every time this happens nowadays but still.

The Canadian side is absolutely as petty about it but the consequences on the Canadian side are profound. The lumber industry beef goes back to.... fuck. The Conquest really. It's older than the US or Canada as independent states but where it really came to a head was back in 1982. But tbh, on a civics level, what it comes down too is a difference in how two nations exercise sovereignty over undisputed, internationally recognized territory. In Canada, the government, represented by the crown has automatic ownership over the vast majority of land where softwood lumber farms exist, rather than being in private hands like the US. It's an inherent aspect of Canadian democracy that often moderates our politics. And the Canadian lumber industry is a fucked up thing, I might call it evil, and GOD knows there's labour exploitation but there are usually more and better unions, labour negotiation and working conditions on the Canadian side of this argument that get shaken everytime this shitshow resurges. And it fucks over indigenous peoples and people of colour especially.

In the US, the lumber industry has a powerful lobby that takes what has often been a series of difficult but more or less even handed agreements between two governments at least pretending to operate on a more or less respectful level by using institutions like NAFTA and the World Trade Organization to negotiate. Instead of moving forward, these people turn it into a nationalist shit show that takes US economic power and says "oh you want to be a fully recognized neighbor? fuck you. take your beating and say thank you or you'll get another."

Like tbh save the Northwest Passage which in practical military terms Canada likely won't have choice but to cooperate with the US and its giant defense budget this is one of the issues where the US really allows capitalism to fuck us up in the face of American law and international trade standards. And honestly in the grand scheme of things, God knows we've got it better than pretty much anyone else who lives next to a large superpower but its really sad to see that a majority of Americans in the last few years would rather take a nationalist stance, blame Canada for being 'communist' than take their own corporations to task. Its yank consumers getting fucked over here too. It should be a fucking solidarity issue on both sides, with workers and unions demanding the adoption of more and better legislation but instead its devolved into a nationalist shit show. On both sides, honestly but its kind of hard not to feel a lot resentment when people I've known for years as kind, cooperative, pro-labour people start parroting fuck Canada over they're dirty foreign communists like its 1924 all over again.

I generally try to shy away from headcanons about specific and more current stuff like this but considering its been a major contributer to Canadian economic woes and global inflation, its a topic where Matt vomits blood and Alfred says "have you tried not being a socialist?" and gets a mug thrown at his head. They're both fucking assholes but Alfred is still driving a tank to a knife fight.

[plutobutartsy]

You Mentioned OCs. (np)

oh di i'm so excited you asked about them i'm actually jumping up and down rn bc like,,, i've had these two for YEARS, i rotate them in my mind every single day and with all the media i consume i always think ok but what if the protagonists were ACTUALLY my ocs like i'm so mentally ill about them

their names are Briar and Evelyn (Evie for short) and they're both so silly and so disgustingly in love, think vincent and lovely but ten times worse

also this got like REALLY long so don't feel obligated to read it all lol

let's start with my boy Briar

his name frequently gets mistaken for Brian and it makes him so irrationally angry lol

he's a born vampire! so no old man activities this boy is like 17 as of now

he's the one who knows how to cook! he makes food for others as a love language

also fun fact there's like an actual vampire cuisine in this universe so vampires can consume food that's not just blood and still get nutritional value out of it

his family are part of the older vampire generation technically? what i mean is his family have been vampires for a few centuries now so they're kinda rich and well known

that said, his parents are for sure around 80-100 but him and his sisters are young!

as i've said he's only around 17 and he's the youngest out of his siblings

he has 3 older sisters (20ish, 24 and 28) and they're all very protective of him because omg!!!! that's their baby brother!!!

sometimes too protective to the point where they underestimate him and make him feel bad,,, woops!

he still really looks up to them and puts them on a bit of a pedestal, making him an overachieving perfectionist while he strives to get to what he assumes is their level

spoiler alert this results in a lot of angst and him not feeling good enough despite his parents and sisters never really pressureing him to do anything

he definitely tries to hide his insecurity by overcompensating and acting more arrogant than he is but his friends can read him like a book lol

"i had this leftover because i made too much on accident, eat it so i don't feel bad about being wasteful. honestly you should feel honored to be allowed to taste my cooking" translation: "you seemed stressed so i made you your favourite meal but please don't bring it up or i'll die. hope you like it ^-^"

terrified of bugs which is unfortunate since his 3rd sister loves them and keeps them as pets

when i said overachiever i meant it. student body president. excels in most sports. top grades.

he has to be perfect or he will literally die (real) (not fake)

oh he's also scared of dogs and he's very pathetic about it. i'm talking he sees a tiny puppy and he crosses to the other side of the street.

works at a convenience store because he doesn't want to end up being a spoilt rich brat stereotype lol the old ladies at check out love him because he always offers to carry their bags to their car for them

tries to act all serious and grown up when he's around his sisters to impress them but it's a lost cause

he's a complete sweetheart please tell him he's doing a good job and watch trashy dramas and reality tv with him

okie Evie time :3

she's a witch!! wohoo magic

she has like a billion siblings

jk just 5 but still

all of them are adopted and a different magical being (for example her older brother is a werewolf) simply because i think it's funny

listen hear me out: her dad is like fucking bruce wayne, adopting kids left and right, but he's just a regular schmegular human so i think it's hilarious that he adopts a new kid and he's all like "oh great they're just human phew no stress for me"

just to find out that no, this child is in fact NOT human, and on top of that they're an entirely different species than the rest of his kids so he has to learn about their specific needs and quirks and whatnot all over again

listen it's hilarious

okay anyways

evie stress bakes!! so she always has new stuff to give to others because WOW girl you're stressed beyond measure

brought 5 loafes of bread to school once to give to her friends. "thanks but you already gave me 2 yesterday my family really can't eat all of that :(" "girl PLEASE you have to help me i have 12 more at home and my dad is fucking PISSED he told me to get rid of them immediately."

if Briar needs to be perfect or else he will die, then Evelyn needs everyone to like her or she will die

she's honestly a bit of a pushover because of that but she's working on it and has made great progress (therapy queen)

fashion lover and lover of cute things

her outfits look like a claire's threw up on her

her magic manifested when she was like 5 when she got into a fight with her brother and she just. launched his ass into the sky lol

that accident broke his leg and made her resent her powers for a bit

like she wanted nothing to do with them and straight up refused to go to a school where she would learn about them. her dad was so worried because suppressing magic longterm makes you actually sick

that is until a friend of her dad explained to her that learning to control her powers would help her prevent any more accidents

that friend is called Makena and we love her! she's a witch as well and ended up giving Evie private lessons and also helped Evie's dad with learning about magic and how to care for non-human kids

at first Evelyn rly sucked at magic like REALLY sucked at magic and she was like, are you serious this is ASS

but she was just a slow learner and is really good now :)

works at Makena's cafe in an effort to help with her social skills

i have drawings of these two somewhere but it's been a while so i can't fund them 😭

[angeryvoidchild]

How I imagine Vierna's and Astarion's meeting could have went if they have met each other about couple of years prior to start of the game, when Vierna is just two or three years shy of being a full-fledged adult (so about 32 or 33)

Hero

Astarion put on the confident mask and went inside the Elf Song tavern. Cazador wanted him to bring in today a new victim and frankly, Astarion was too damn tired and afraid after the last punishement to go against his will. The hatred burning deep and hot was not enough to consume the fresh layer of pain.

He sat at his usual spot and started listening. Observing. Fishing out a new victim but also to hear some rumours, just for entertaiment.

"I'm telling you! SHE was a tiefling!"

"And I've met HIM and he is an elf!"

"Both of you are stupid, THEY are a drow. And they are no hero, bastard has stolen everything in my house!"

"Suits you right, considering that you've stolen all of this yourself!"

"What? I'm a merchant, not a thief!"

"I've seen your prices, and you are centrainly a thief." Bickering of the three men grew louder and louder. Astarion noted that mingling with them would be a stupid move, but he was intruiged nontheless. A new hero... Or rather a troublemaker... Made... Her? His? Their? Name known. Those are mostly easy targets, so full of themselves and thinking they have the whole world under their feet. That arrogance was a perfect for him to exploit.

"Anyway, that Vorpalblade person is centrainly a drow. I saw them dropping their disguise when I was returning home last night. I'm telling you, even vampires don't posses such red eyes." Fourth person joined them.

Astarion could barely contain his distain for the new "hero". He always hated those free souls saving the hurt and abused and somehow always missing him. He gave up hope long ago, but somehow with every new "hero" he always felt the same mix of emotions. Jealousy squeezing his heart, for they have the freedom he was brutally robbed of two centuries ago. Anger, because why nobody is going to save him? Why nobody is trying to slay his master, the man that plays with lives like they were mere puppets. Sorrow freezing his guts, as he reminds himself that nobody would see the truth, they would assume he's a monster equal to Cazador. At least this one wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and had some sticky fingers. It was a nice change of pace. Would make them an even easier target.

"YOU WON'T DRINK VODKA, YOU ARE UNDERAGE!" the paladin took away glass of some... Rouge, if Astarion had to guess.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR 'OBEY JUST LAWS' OATH! NOW GIVE ME MY DRINK, YOU BITCH!" the smaller and androgynous looking drow almost jumped at their companion.

The evening was a lively one indeed. It would make it just that easier if someone just... Vanished.

Astarion was looking between groups of patrons: those four seemed too close to one another, bickering drows as well - he also disliked the sharp-looking eyes of the younger one. There were also other too-close-knitted groups Astarion crossed out of his list. There was no sight of this new hero, but there was a lone woman that seemed perfect.

"Hello there, beautiful. Why such lovely lady is drinking the night away all by herself?" He purred to her. Woman looked at him wide-eyed. She was a human, probably in her late thirties, early forties. She wasn't the most beautiful person in the tavern, but she was pleasant to look at. At least Astarion had quite a bit easier job than last time when he was seducing a gnome. But this time, there was an uneasy feeling, like something otherwordly was looking straight into his soul.

"Oh... I... I guess my date stood me up." She admitted, averting her gaze. Astarion felt like a cat that stole the milk. Perfect. Now, he just had to disregard this feeling of being observed and go with the best script on this occasion.

"Let me then buy you a drink and take his place. For I can't stand a sight of such beauty being all lonely and sad. And, when we get to know each other a little... I can give you a night worth remembering. What do you think about my offer?" He purred, observing his prey. His good looks and smooth voice seemed to enchant this one as well. That is, until some sort of... Presence didn't stir something in his soul. Fear. He was able to withstand it, but the woman quickly made some excuse and ran away. As well as some other patrons that decided to close their tabs and go home prematurely. Astarion knew that someone did this to inconvienience him. So he was combing through the renaining patrons just to barely notice the fading pink glow of the young drow. As their gazes met, the drow smiled like a predator. They have said something to their companion and joined Astarion at the bar.

"Two dark beers please! One piss weak!" they waved at the barman. Then looked deep into Astarion's eyes. Too deeply, especially for someone their age. They were not a teenagers anymore, but they still had some of the lankiness and akwardness of that age. They couldn't be older than thirty. One eye was partially covered by hair, and Astarion couldn't tell much more about it save for that it didn't share the uncovered eye's intensive ruby colour. Whole aura about this person was strange and only after a while Astarion could pin what it was. That drow was too fey. And their teeth were too sharp. Not vampiric, but not... Normal.

"It was a decoy. Take the dwarf. He deserves it anyway." The drow paid for their beers and readied themselves to return to their comrade.

"Why..." Astarion started, but the youngling cut him off.

"Make your own reason."

~~~

"So you saved me from the decoy, because you found me attractive?!"

"And because I was angry at my sister, who has set that decoy."

"You are terrible!"

"That's why you love me!"

[valoisfulcanellideux]

I don't usually self-promote (outside of posting about new chapters on my blog) but I have one fic that consumed a year of my life that's complete and that I'm incredibly proud of, and another that's currently ongoing, and I would love to get some more eyes on them both. I'll also add a couple more recs for other people's stories at the end :)

The first of mine is These Stones Remember (already recced in this chain by @cattobee - thank you so much!) and it's an 185K behemoth that deals with time and love and guilt and forgiveness. It's an Empires S1 & S2 Pixlriffs fic, but a few others (most notably fWhip and GeminiTay) also feature. (Note: The chapter count makes it appear unfinished, but the actual story is finished. Only the second of the Companion Reader sections is still unpublished, and I'm holding back on finishing that for a while, for Reasons.)

Summary:

"The past changes a little every time we retell it." A wandering scholar and his ethereal companion find a long-abandoned treasure. At first glance he thinks he has simply stumbled upon a ruined ancient capital, filled with the promise of incredible archaeological treasures and riven through with the history of a long-dead civilisation. But when he wakes up one day and finds the city has come alive around him, its people bowing to him as though they know and respect him, he has unknowingly begun a journey toward redemption for a terrible mistake he made two thousand years ago.

The second of mine is A Tale of Two Devotions. A darker tale of the Copper King and the Phantom Assassin (so you get two Pixlriffs for the price of one!) this one is ongoing and releasing a chapter every two weeks.

Summary:

There are tales of ghosts that wander the desert with their eyes and mouths sealed shut with wax. Legends tell that this was so they could neither see nor speak of what was done to them in their dying moments. The gilded, adorned, and adored Copper King did not know he had a twin; a freak of nature taken from their mother's childbed and raised to protect the glory of the Vigil, the city, its people, and the king. Denied a name, known only as Phantom, the rooftops and alleys are his haunt as he watches over his brother's devotion to the Vigil; an obedience so deep that none in the city know how chained their king is to keeping their precious monument alive. Nor do they know the price paid by their dead.

Now for the stuff by other peeps!

the corpse of your people, uncovered and coveted by Yylfinn_00

Archaeologist!Pix gets called to work on a new archaeology site, which happens to be in a desert. Dear god, this one left me absolutely aching. One of the best Pix stories I've ever read.

”Now leave me to mourn the corpse of my people in peace, Scott, before I have to watch them rip her bone from bone in the morning.”

City with no name, person with no history by viridis_mundi

A beautiful piece about Archaeologist!Pix and Goblin!fWhip, filled with all my favourite things in fic: memory, time, love, loss, friendship. It's short, but so beautifully sweet.

Pix’s gaze is soothing, like a heavy blanket after a nervous day, like a mug of warm milk before bed, like the quiet dance of stars in the night sky. And just as centuries ago, people looked at the sky and looked for constellations, so Pix is always looking for something in someone else’s soul.

you know what I haven’t seen going around in a while, and could use some of myself? fic recs! so, consider this both a rec and a self-promo post: recommend some fics to me in the reblogs and I’ll reblog your recs! in general, try to include both a summary and why you’re reccing it (whether it’s a self-promo or someone else’s), and let’s get some eyes on fics!

[aschlindartroom]

Bingo template made by @hyba

Two bingos! Huzzah! I never realized there were so many fun things to do with a bingo format. Thanks for educating me, Tumblr, as always.

Character info below the cut! ~~

Magic Wielder: Rowan Faraday: Rowan is a telekinetic powerhouse who is known throughout Lower London as the Liberation's most powerful enforcer. She can easily throw men twice her size across the room. I love her. If she wasn't trauma-bingo, I'd want to be her when I grew up.

Mischief Maker: Antoni Nowak: Antoni was born in the Lower London district of Bermuda and grew up around subversive freedom fighters. Since the manifestation of his abilities, Antoni uses blood magic and seals to set traps, protect the home of his found family, and harm anyone who stands in the way of the New Enlightenment's goals.

Cursed: Ehren Schmidt: Ehren's Direct Insight ability (read: clairvoyance that acts kind of like an empathetic synesthesia) manifested when he was only four years old. He is consistently bombarded with the thoughts and feelings of the people around him, and has spent his entire life finding coping mechanisms and building up psychic walls. Every year his ability gets stronger and stronger though, and it's a well-known fact that he'll likely die young or suffer a psychic break. He is my baby and he deserves better.

Food Lover: Egon Schmidt: Egon is Ehren's older brother, and his particular ability requires him to consume a lot of food and resources after each use of his powers. Exactly WHAT his powers are is a whole other post, but he definitely could have gone under the "Inhuman" category.

Inhuman: C.A.S.S.: The Computer Assisted Security System is a bit of a misnomer. Truthfully, this is a centuries-old name for the AI security that protects Schmidt & Foster's internal documents and such. C.A.S.S. has been around for hundreds of years and is basically the clueless uncle who always peeks over your shoulder and asks you to explain jokes to him.

Morally Ambiguous: Martin Hightower: Martin is the ADC Liasion for Schmidt & Foster, which means that he lobby's for S&F's interest within the Allied Districts Council. This man could have just as easily gone under "liar, liar" but he doesn't lie ALL the time... just when it suits his purposes. Martin grew up in Lower London, and has spent his entire adolescence and adulthood crawling up the corporate ladder, wheeling and dealing, to get a taste of all the luxuries life has to offer. Ten years ago, however, after meeting Eckehart Schmidt, Martin has directed his overwhelming political power toward more... wholesome endeavors. He's my current hyperfixation and I love him a lot.

Annoyingly Perfect: Mahalia Bhrambhatt: Mahalia is the ADC Representative for the Asian Corridor, and she is the cutest, sweetest woman in power I've ever written. She's a character who has gained political traction for all the right reasons, and when the story begins, she is going up against some unsavory characters in pursuit of justice and civil rights. She will likely have to go through hell in my story, but I have yet to find any moral flaw. I hate it. I love her. Help me.

Evil to the Core: Franklin Belks: Franklin is the COO of Schmidt and Foster. He actively makes political moves against well-meaning people like Mahalia in order to keep his wealth and position. He was Martin's mentor and taught him every snakey, schemey thing he knew. Franklin will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to keep his power and status.

Good-Hearted: Eckehart Schmidt: Ehren and Egon's cousin (although Ehren considers him a brother) and the CEO of Schmidt & Foster. Eckehart inherited Schmidt & Foster when his father passed 10 years ago. He was once repulsed by the idea of working for S&F, content to live a small life away from the ugly legacy of his family. Now that he's here, however, he intends to make the most of his position. When the time is right, he'll light Schmidt & Foster on fire, and then he'll watch the people finally take their power back. Luckily, he has the amazing Martin Hightower on his side. He knows that this power shift will likely mean his assassination, or imprisonment, or banishment, but he is still determined to make the world a better place and stop the cycle of political corruption.

Athletic: Seung Kim: Hey! It's the main character! Seung is many things: well-read, discerning, resolute... but she's also strong and fast as fuck. You don't want to go up against Seung in a fight. Think you have the upper hand with a gun? Hell no. She'll still smash your head open. Barely ever winded, this woman's the energizer bunny.

Thanks for reading!

[tuancore]

Purple Hearts || { Part 2} :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader.

Genre- Angst | Non- Idol AU , Disorder AU

Summary- I will continue to love you for as long as I'm breathing but I won't let my love come in between your happiness.

*GIF not mine, credits to the owner*

You ended up beside your brother on the table where he and BamBam were munching chicken as if they have straight away come from stone age after fasting for a whole damn century.

"Woah Woah! You guys are that hungry", You spoke eyes lingering on their plates and mouths.

"Chicken unleashes hunger Noona" BamBam smiled dabbing with two chicken legs between his slender fingers, "Thanks for showing the practical of that self-quote", You said, passing him a non humourous smile.

"Nuh-uh it's not self-quote, it's my stomach's motto", He smiled heavenly looking up to the open sky where stars were glimmering everywhere, "Oh My cute stomach..".

Confused you and Yugyeom followed BamBam's gaze to the sky asking, "Is your stomach up there?".

Ignoring your rhetorical question, he praised "Chicken-ie and tummy, what a couple?".

"Noooo they should be soulmates, feeding our stomachs chicken sounds like match made in heaven", Yugyeom joining BamBam staring at the stars.

You shot both of them a wierd look before walking away from there, because if you stayed with them for one more second, you'll end up in the mental asylum. No doubts they are best friends.

You were about to ask for another glass of orange juice when the sudden call of your name made your steps halt, turning around you found yourself smiling widely walking towards the person, hugging her.

"Aigoo, You're looking so ravishing dear", She muttered hugging you gently, "I thought you won't come and meet me so I decided to look for you myself".

"Aunt Park—".

"I think I've told you to call me Eomma", She cut in with soft smile, "That would be a little informal, don't you think?", You fired back a smile plastered on your face.

"Who cares about that? I am like a second mother to you, Am I not?" She asked with a pout.

"Of course you are!" You pouted back, pulling the lady's cheeks, "But I would prefer aunt better for now".

"You've been saying the same thing for seventeen years now, but I'll not budge you anymore. Because after getting married to my son you are going to call me Eomma anyways till then I'll wait", The lady chimed with hopeful eyes which almost scared you.

"Marrying your son?", It came out of your lips in a whisper but she was quite good at catching it.

"Of course, you will be the only one marrying my son", She laughed.

"What if he get himself a girl who is more suitable for him than me?", You know you shouldn't ask such types of questions to his mother but you couldn't help it, your mouth was blurting your thoughts without processing.

"I think— No actually I believe that there's no girl who's more suitable for Jinyoung other than you", She assured rubbing circles on your palm.

Her words piercing through your heart, your heart started to race making your mouth go dry. Jinyoung's mother has known you since you were just eight after your family shifted to his neighbourhood.

Like any other bestfriends, you and Jinyoung were inseperable. You never had a real friend because of your father's business as he kept on moving from one place to another. However when you met Jinyoung, you both instantly hit it off which was not only surprising for you but Jinyoung as well.

One day playing with him in his backyard in his treehouse, he started crying and you asked whether you did anything to hurt him, but he hugged you tightly pouring his heart out.

"You know you are like my first real friend", he stated pulling your cheeks, displaying all your side teeth, his eyes still watery.

"Why? Didn't you have a real friend before?" You managed to speak. Shaking his head he expressed, "I don't know. All the boys and girls in my class always say that I'm too rich and that they don't want to be my friend they also make fun of me because I can't interact with anyone without....what do we call that?".

"That what?", You croaked out with your cheeks still in his grasp, "That when you don't..like you shy around and your voice comes out in parts".

"Shying around?" You answered in excitement.

"No you silly, it was a big word I don't remember", he said leaving your cheeks but held your ears but never pulling them, "Whenever they see me they laugh and throw things at me I don't like that, it makes me cry".

"Nope! You shouldn't cry anymore....I'm your bestfriend, I won't let anyone hurt you in anyway, you don't have to cry I'll protect you from those small evil kids!" You declared with a serious expression.

"Promise me that you'll always be my bestfriend and will always stay by my side", He asked extending his pinky finger towards you which you gladly accepted intertwining your pinky finger with his, "I'll always be with you, trust me".

Shaking your shoulders lightly, Mrs. Park asked "What were you thinking?".

"Umm... nothing".

"Oh well why are you alone over here? I thought you and Jinyoung were together", She asked furrowing her brows waiting for your reply.

"Actually he was with me but I had to come because— Yu—Yugyeom was looking for me", You somehow managed to get that lie slip.

____________

After the celebration ended, there were only Jinyoung's family members and his close friends who stayed back as Jinyoung requested them to.

"Go away, don't even dare to come near me you both with chickens in your mouth!" You shouted at Yugyeom and BamBam who were unbelievably still consuming different chicken items.

"Looks like they were starving the entire day", Jaebeom laughed from behind shaking his head slightly occupying the empty seat beside you.

"Day? They are clearly among those stone age men which we have studied during our history classes", You sighed rolling your yes back.

You were close with all of Jinyoung's friends. They knew about Jinyoung and Somi being friends but never did they expect Jinyoung to fall in love with Somi.

"Attention everybody!" Jinyoung's loud voice cut through everyone's gossips, he stood right on top of the staircase of his mansion while others were downstairs. Since the party was already over there was no need for family members to stand in night breeze.

"I would like to announce something very important", He beamed with one of the brightest grin you've ever seen, everyone's face was filled with confusion while you can exactly tell what he was going to do, even when your heart was bleeding but your face had one of the beautiful smiles.

"Today is probably one of the best day of my life", His voice laced with sheer excitement although he was trying to come out to be a little calm, "Since you all have always bugged me for not being in love with anyone....So today I want you all to meet the love of my life, the girl I've loved for a long time now, she's always supported me, has always been there for me, helped me, cared for me.....and....and my parents and my friends know her very well".

With that everyone's eyes were on you which made you want to run away and hide yourself in the farthest corner of the world and never come back, but you tried your very best to keep that smiling facade.

"He's definitely talking about you", Jaebeom stated proudly from beside while Yugyeom and BamBam smirked at you same goes for Jackson.

"And there she is....", He pointed in your direction, everyone clapping happily, "The Love of my life.....Somi", slowly the clapping dying down at the mention of Somi's name.

Somi stood up from her seat which was right behind your table, Jinyoung's parents had a frown on their faces while Jaebeom, Jackson, Yugyeom and BamBam looked pale, their souls leaving their bodies as they were handed with the most shocking news of the time.

Jinyoung pulled Somi towards him kissing her knuckles lovingly gifting her the softest look ever. Although your heart hammered against your chest you stared at them with a neutral gaze.

"I know you all might be shocked that I'm introducing her out of the blue, but yeah she is the one for me, she's the one that I need in my life, she's my girl and we've decided to get married in three months".

You were aware that this was going to come sooner or later, you smiled widely as soon as your eyes locked with Jinyoung's. Jaebeom held your hand under the table trying to calm you as your body trembled slightly.

"I love you Somi", He said aloud resting their foreheads together while their hands were intertwined with eachother, the diamond ring shining on Somi's ring finger.

"I love you too Jinyoung", She replied softly.

Jinyoung's mother watched you intently, she noticed the wide smile on your face which your were brilliantly faking for his son's sake when in real you were beyond hurt. That's when it clicked her, the way the glow of your face died down when she talked about you and Jinyoung getting married and your negative replies only proved her assumptions correct.

"You shouldn't have done this to yourself", she mumbled, still her eyes fixed on your form.

Part 1 | Master list | Part 3 |

______________________________________

[wolfloke]

Rp Ideas

(Barista Aus)

[Character A] is a barista at a coffee shop. [Character B] comes in every day and orders the same thing, at the same time, always. One day, [B] doesn't show up.

[Character A] is all ready to pay for their coffee, when they realize they've lost their wallet. [Character B], the customer in back of them, offers to pay for them.

[Character A] and [Character B] are baristas who work the morning shift. Something more than friendship blossoms between them (Can already be pre-established or can happen over time), however, things change when [A] is moved to the night shift, and [B] stays in the morning shift.

[Character A] is tired of customers' shit. When one especially rude consumer decides to mouth them off, [A] does the logical thing, and spits right in their mocha whipped caramel latte. It isn't until they're handing the coffees out that they realize the rude customer hadn't ordered the latte. [Character B] did.

[Character A] is the new barista at a local coffee shop. [Character B] doesn't quite like them. When the two get into a fight and the hot milk machine explodes, the manager threatens to fire the both of them unless they can work it out. How do they go about becoming friends?

[Character A] is a barista working the late shift alone. It's a slow night, and the store is entirely empty, so they decide to close up shop and lock the doors. However, as they're in the back of the shop counting stock, they hear glass shatter in the front, and they know it's not just a coffee crazed customer. [Character B] can be anyone; The burglar, an employee who forgot their things and decided to head back but witnessed the burglary, or a concerned passerby who spotted the break in happening.

(Zombie AUs)

[Character A] is holed up in a locked down, abandoned mall. Somehow, [Character B] gets in. How do the two react once they realize they're not alone?

[Character A] is stuck on a rooftop. [Character B], who's stuck on the rooftop across from them, has been trying to make contact with the other survivor, to no avail.

[Character A to Character B] "Gimme all your shit. The food, the water, the weapons. Everything. Now!"

[Character A] is all out of ammo. There's a horde on their tail, they're injured, and it's not likely they're going to make it out alive. And that's when they see [Character B] beckoning them to a hiding spot just a few steps away.

[Character A] and [Character B] are traveling together. Then, one of them gets bit. How does the other react?

[Character A] is dying. [Character B] is keeping them company. How do they interact with eachother?

(Highschool AU)

[Character A] is new to a prestigious boarding school. They're lost in the hallways. Then they happen to bump into [Character B].

[Character A] manages to piss off [Character B], aka, the scariest kid in school.

(Three People RP) [Character A] is happily dating [Character B]. However, [Character C] is secretly in love with [A/B], and desperately wants them to break up.

[Character A], a high school student, is dating [Character B], a college student.

[Character A] and [Character B] are by no means friends. Then they get grouped together for a project that forces them to spend time at each others' houses. Do they become friends, something more?

[Character A] is hiding a secret. [Character B] just happens to find out.

[Character A] is the new kid in school. If the rumors are any indication, they're a bit of a weirdo. [Character B] refuses to believe them, and decides to get to know [A] for themself.

[Character A to Character B] "Yikes, I saw that fall a mile away. Looks like you dropped a lot of stuff. Want some help?"

[Character A to Character B] "Are you...Are you drawing me?"

[Character A to Character B] "Lunch in the classroom again? Mind if join you?"

(Celebrity AUs)

[Character A to Character B] "Holy shit! I've seen you before! You're...!"

[Character A] is the top model at a fashion agency. That all changes when [Character B] is scouted, and practically rips the spotlight from [A]. How does [A] respond to this? How does [B] feel about it?

It's not everyday you bump into a celebrity...Except it is for [Character A], who suspiciously keeps bumping into the famous [Character B] everyday. Coincidence, or something more?

[Character A] is a movie star visiting their hometown. However, they realize that time in Hollywood has made them forget the town. So, they appoint [Character B] as their tour guide.

[Character A to Character B] "Don't you know who I am?"

[Character A] is a famous movie actor playing the lead in a romance film. [Character B] is the clumsy rookie that somehow got the second lead. How will the two get along, especially when [Character B] can't seem to remember their lines?

[Character A] is a photographer in a park struggling to find their muse. When [Character B] happens to stroll by, they realize they've just found it.

[Character A] scores backstage tickets to a rock concert, which just so happens to be their favorite band, like...Ever. [Character B] is the lead vocalist/guitarist/whatever of the band.

[Character A], a lovestruck rookie actor. [Character B], an experienced, well known actor who's been starred as the main lead in multiple romance movies. Somehow, [A] ends up being the second lead to [B]! How does [B] react to [A]'s inexperience? Will they get along? And how will they go about about the kiss scene that occurs later on in the movie?

[Character A] is walking home one night, when they see [Character B] attempting to jump from a bridge! Dashing into action, they talk them out of it, only to find that [B] is a famous celebrity, who, for some reason or another, feels indebted to [A] forever now.

(Supernatural AUs)

[Character A] is a werewolf struggling to control their transformations. [Character B], a lycan nerd, offers to help them, but only if they can document the process.

The city is plagued by a number of mysterious killings that leave their victims drained of any and all blood. While believed to be animal attacks at first, [Character A], a detective, thinks differently. And when [Character B] is caught on CCTV grabbing a helpless woman and tearing out her jugular, well, that just confirms [A]'s suspicions.

(Multiple people rp) Ever since the dark ages, witches have been forced into hiding, lest they be revealed and punished with a fiery death. For centuries, they've breeded amongst covens, creating generation after generation of children with extraordinary abilities. Each child only has one ability when they begin the harnessing of their internal power. But, of each generation, there is one child, and only one, that shows signs of having multiple abilities. Over time, these special children became known as The Supreme Witch, and had to complete grueling and painful challenges in order to prove their powers. Now in the modern age of technology, there is a special school for the last remaining witch millennials to come to terms with their abilities, learn to control them, and strengthen them. All witches are able to participate in the test to determine who is supreme, at their own risk. However, one question remains; Just who will survive the test and be crowned Supreme Witch?

[Character A]'s family moves into a new house. It doesn't take [A] very long to figure out they're being haunted by [B].

[Character A] thinks that their boyfriend/girlfriend, [Character B] is acting a little odd. They're always cold, pale, and they seem to be uncontrollably thirsty all the time.

[Character A] is a clumsy witch struggling to harness their internal energy. [Character B] is an older witch, who offers to teach them, on one condition.

[Character A], a sailor on the S.S Jolly Fellow, awakens from a nap below deck to find the boat anchored in the middle of the ocean and the crew gone. The only other person they can hear is [Character B], a mermaid/merman sitting on a nearby rock, singing a soft harmony.

[Character A] finds a fairy out in the woods and traps it in a jar. This fairy, [Character B], demands they be let go. And [A] agrees, but on one condition; [B] must grant them any wish they want.

[Character A] is bitten by a wild wolf one night in the woods. They hide it from their friends and family in fear of being scolded for being out when they weren't supposed to. But soon, weird things start happening. For instance, their hearing seems to be super good. Their eyesight is enhanced greatly. And they can smell every hamburger in a five mile radius. But along with the hamburgers, they can also smell certain people with "different" powers (Vampires, witches, other werewolves, etc). And their nose seems to be leading them right to [Character B].

[Character A], a fledgling vampire, attacks [Character B] and turns them. Now apart of their pack, [Character B] must now be mentored by the very person that turned them into a bloodthirsty monster, [A].

[Character A] is a professional hunter hot on the trail of [Character B], a monster.

[Character A], a mermaid held in captivity. [Character B], a worker assigned to their tank. How do the two come to trust each other? What happens then?

(Darker AUs)

[Character A] wakes up in a dark room with a chain around their ankle. They can't remember anything from last night, except maybe.. A blurry image of [Character B]'s face.

[Character A] knows not to talk to strangers, but there's something so endearing about [Character B] that they can't help but to chit chat. Little does [A] know, they'll be regretting it very soon.

[Character A] has had [Character B] chained up in their basement for a while now. At first, they'd just meant to kill [B] and be done with it. But for some reason, [A] can't bring themselves to do it. Why? What will they do in the end?

[Character A] wakes up covered in blood, next to a sleeping [Character B]. What happened? How did [A] end up there?

[Character A] is a twin to a royal family, their sibling being a princess/prince destined to marry into a richer kingdom. For years, [A] had dreaded their parting. It finally came in the form of [B], a sadistic tyrant who insists he marry the beauty that is [A]'s twin. Refusing to let their sibling fall into [B]'s hands, [A] dresses up as them, and takes their place instead, becoming [B]'s hand in marriage.

(War AUs)

[Character A] is a freshly drafted soldier. [Character B] is the bitter, apprehensive sergeant, tasked to whip [A] into shape.

[Character A] and [Character B] are soldiers on opposing fronts, who so happen to be severely injured, and who so happen to be hiding in the same house. Unfortunately,

Disclaimer. I don't own any part of the art nor do I own nor do I own the context of this of this post. I am reposting this so all who love to role play has access to it.

[doorbloggr]

Thursday 6/5/21: Masters of Musical Mashups

I do not consider myself a musically minded person, but I feel I enjoy music as a past time more than the average joe. When I engage with audio entertainment, I do so with my soul, to the point where songs I have nostalgia for can move me to tears.

Sorry for using K-On for mood-setting imagery again, but its a cute and fun aesthetic.

But before I meander too much off-topic, today's on-topic is specifically about music derived from existing media. Parody is the immediate word that comes to mind, but the type of derivative musical masterpieces I wanna highlight in this blog post goes a bit deeper than that.

The internet is an amazing place (maybe I should retitle this blog series to that string of words), and I've been exposed to many smaller or otherwise hidden musical talents that I would not have encountered in everyday life. Today let's discuss two musical talents from YouTube who have made it their mission to incinerate existing music in a grand inferno, and rebirth a new sound, like a radiant phoenix. The masters of mashups.

High Quality Videogame Rips: SiIvaGunner

SiIvaGunner (spelt s-i-i-v-a-g-u-n-n-e-r) is a videogame OST ripping channel. It owes it name to fellow videogame rip channel GilvaSunner, (g-i-l-v-a-s-u-n-n-e-r), who in turn pays homage to original videogame ripping channel Silvagunner (s-i-l-v-a-g-u-n-n-e-r).

Confusing names aside, the purpose of a videogame rip channel is to provide audio acquired directly from a videogame's files in order to fully enjoy the original soundtrack (OST) in its purest form. There are hundreds of such channels on YouTube, but SiIvaGunner has been set apart from the rest by the specific ripping skillset of its community. Take a listen to this:

SiIvaGunner songs are a fun bait-and-switch type entertainment, where the bit usually involves using the thumbnail and title of a video game song, but the artist has used the sound font of that game to construct a completely different tune.

A lot of the time, this is as simple as using a Mario soundfont to play notes of a TV show theme (as above), but sometimes, it can go further. Many of SiIvaGunner's most popular hits involve just straight remixes of mainstream music mashed up with videogame tunes.

And sometimes, the musician will go one more step, and sentence mix lyrics from the videogame song or mainstream song to make a song of entirely new meaning.

SiIvaGunner is not one artist, there is an entire community of musical artists who contribute their pieces to this channel. The channel uploads often double digits of videos daily, so if I've intrigued you at all, please check the channel out!

A World of Mouth: Neil Cicierega

Neil Cicierega is an internet legend. He has been creating online entertainment for almost two decades. Particularly credits include his Potter Puppet Pals series, and his own original music under the name "Lemon Demon", with works such as The Ultimate Showdown and Two Trucks.

Given his aptitude in comedy and musical talent, it is not surprising that Neil jumped into the parody/remixing scene. But whereas other parody artists and remixers simply created their own altered versions of popular music, Neil Cicierega created something on entire other level.

Neil has recently released his fourth album in the Mouth series, a collection of mashup music that transforms popular mainstream music into something new and fantastic. Neil will take the vocals from one song and transplant it into the instrumentals of another song. Often this contrast is used for comedic effect, but in my opinion, many of the songs he's remixed sound catchier and more fun than the originals.

The namesake of his series, Smash Mouth, feature heavily in a number of his songs. Given the meme-able nature of Smash Mouth, thanks to Shrek, the Mouth series is known across the internet for its fun parodic nature.

Smash Mouth is far from the only source Neil Cicierega uses. Source music is taken from all genres of popular 20th and 21st century hits. Neil has a musical ear where he can perfectly match any lyrics with their instrumental soulmate. The pairing needn't be songs of the same genre however, and some of his most fun music comes from combining music from polar opposite genres.

Using the vocals from AC/DC's Back in Black with the instruments from Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles sounds like a pair that shouldn't work. But Neil knows his rhythm and it goes off. And while Neil is a master of putting hard-ass lyrics to a softer song, that doesn't mean he can't go in the other direction. Below is Spongerock, a mashup of the Spongebob theme song and Queen's We Will Rock You.

Some of Neil's remixes aren't mashups at all, but rather a transformation of a song into something silly, bizarre and barely recognisable from the original. The prime example being Bustin.

Neil Cicierega posts his original music on Spotify, and his Mouth series can be found on his Soundcloud. Fans have uploaded most of the Mouth series to Youtube, and if you have a spare few hours (or want to consume it over a few days), a fan has compiled all of his albums into one long video, The Mouth Experience:

I've given my readers plenty of good music to listen to today, so if you do enjoy yourselves or have already experienced these musical geniuses before, be sure to let me know and spread the word.

[ofmsfortune]

"Love is not for me. That's what I've been thinking to myself for most of my life. And back when you left, I was reassured that it was true. But my life could not return to the way it was. Those lingering thoughts, the persistent emotions, as if some kind of all-consuming fire was burning in my head and in my heart. But the ash did not come. And then I realized, that maybe, this time I actually wanted to be wrong all along."

for freya, it had been a flood. all emotions she had ever felt had been water or droughts. love had been a mighty wave that had come and had swept away all she had thought to know. some of the things that had been swallowed by this wave she had been glad to see disappear, other things had terrified her. what once had been a curse — your wretched heart cannot love! — had become something of a blessing in disguise, though she doubted that her mother had ever wanted for her words to stop hurting. still, there had been comfort in the knowledge that she would never trap herself, that she would never love someone.

she had seen love hurt others. she had hurt when her father, when her brothers had died. but — she had thought that with those last connections to the life she had left behind gone, she would never have to hurt again.

she had been wrong. she had been very, very wrong.

‘‘ neither could i return to who i was, before. ’’ she halted, remembering something she had read somewhere, once — if you were still the same person after you loved, you had not loved enough — and almost, she would have shuddered.

change, growth — whatever one might prefer to call it — always came at a price. she had seen the price be paid many, many times. usually, it had been blood, in one shape or another. tears were common, too. rarely smiles. perhaps it made her a coward that she did not relish in chaos, that she preferred structures and other ways to give something overwhelmingly grand form.

for a moment, she did not continue and focused on anything but dylan to sort out her thoughts. there was fliante, strolling into the living-room from the kitchen, throwing her a curious glance before wandering downstairs. then, there were the voices that were carried up from the street below, balancing on the thin line between boisterous joy and mere noise. alas, neither her cat nor an anonymous crowd could draw her mind away from dylan for long. this was a fact she knew well, a fact she had tested many, many times throughout the years.

( not recently, however. )

propping up her chin against her hand, she sighed quietly as she let her gaze linger on him. there were truths that did not require to be said now, not after they had been said before. she did not have to say that years of aloneness  ( it had been neither solitude nor loneliness, had been something she did not have words for )  had made her an ugly thing with too many teeth, with too many jagged edges that demanded payment in blood. some said that hearts were monsters and that this was the reason why ribs formed cages.

and truthfully — she did not think anyone could live as long as she had and not grow sharper teeth with every year. claws could be filed down, could be hidden in silken and velvet gloves, but as soon as the words came spilling forth, the teeth were in plain sight. she had been proud — dangerously proud — of her fangs, of how they could crumble castles as if they were made of cards and dreams. she had deluded herself into believing that she could do something meant that she should do it.

there were thoughts she did not allow herself to think, but it was a fact that she had always known better. after all — had she not looked at frédéric and recognised that he was a lighthouse where she was a will-o’-wisp? she could not claim ignorance; she had acted against better knowledge and this was what she could never wash away.

looking at her fingers, splayed out on her leg, she bent them slowly before tapping gently against her knee. ‘‘ it was as if i had grown something, only to lose it, ’’ she muttered as she lifted her head again, a wry smile tugging on her face. ‘‘ i thought i was all right, without a heart. ’’ 

or at least safe.

although he was likely bar hopping with his friends right now, she could almost hear frédéric groan at her thoughts; unlike her, he was not the type to cling to safety, to prefer a status quo that she controlled over anything she would not have any say in. they had been in disagreement over what was preferable for the last two centuries and she did not think they would come to see eye-to-eye in this one, though she was slightly more inclined to see his point these days.

‘‘ do you regret it? ’’ she asked slowly as she idly tugged on loose thread, the facade of casualness paper thin and a mere formality. she doubted that his regrets — if he had them — outweighed other emotions; otherwise, he would not be sitting in her living-room.still, she could not shake her fascination. matchstick fingers and paper hearts never mixed well, but — here they were. again. ‘‘ do you regret still being on fire? ’’

the audible shudder in her voice was not intended as she drew breath, putting the thoughts that swarmed her mind into words. as so often, she dreaded his answer as much as she anticipated it, balancing on a thin line as she hoped that she would never grow tired of this dance. that she would never grow tired of dylan.

she tucked a strand of hair back, her grin almost shy. ‘‘ i got used to always drowning a little bit in love, ’’ she admitted as she shrugged. what can you do? her body language seemed to ask and it was a question she asked herself, too. she would never have guessed that there might be a time when she would happily welcome something she could never hope to control in her life and yet, here she was. content to keep her head above water instead of trying to change the tide.