#'i felt you escape into empty space where my heart cant feel / down in that darkness / you met all the things you feared'

[t4tdanvis]

me, trying to think of a crywolf song that fits danvis: stomach it could be about danvis

me:

me: STOMACH IT COULD BE ABOUT DANVIS.......

[wonwoosthetic]

omg i absolutely loved the new minnie and wonwoo chapter 😔 are you planning on posting a part 2 soon? I CANT WAIT AHHHH

No Words Should Be Left Unsaid || Minnie🌷

minnie masterlist

PART ONE

warnings – a bit of angst, one quick mention of the word ‘sex’

word count – 11k

A/N: Took longer than I would've wanted, but here it finally is and I'm happy to admit, that I've definitely gotten my inspiration back ˙ᵕ˙ I hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter and that you all enjoy it ˙ᵕ˙

italics are spoken in english

The following day already started like hell. Minnie woke up with a pounding head, a scratchy throat, and burning eyes - all aftereffects from crying herself to sleep. It was a wonder she even got to fall asleep, but the exhaustion from the fight must've taken over her body. 

The fight. 

The screaming.

It all flashed back into the girl's mind as she sat up on the bed, cradling her face in her hands, running her fingers through her hair, and trying to loosen some of its knots.

 "I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF RIGHT NOW, MINNIE!"

"You've never given me reasons to not trust you before."

"I hope they send him to jail."

Wonwoo's hurtful words he shouted to her face only mere hours ago sliced through her heart like a hot knife. She couldn't exactly remember everything she had thrown at his head, but she knew they hadn't been any better.

What still echoed through her mind though was the exact scene that had her crumbling down.

"So what? You suddenly don't trust me anymore? You think I just did this... for- f- for I don't know... fun?"

"Looks like I should've questioned that a lot earlier."

The one thing she looked for in a relationship. The one thing she was always to come back to whenever she started losing herself. Trust. Loyalty. Never had she ever had to question either characteristic when it comes to Wonwoo. She thought he felt the same. But last night, he proved to her that she was in the wrong. He didn't trust her anymore. No matter what she would've done the night before, his words were already out in the world, they had already reached her ears and made her entire world fall and break into millions of pieces she so desperately wanted to hold together.

No matter how hard she wanted to cry about it again, how much her body was urging her to scream the pain out loud in hopes of saving her, nothing came out. There was nothing left in her. Not even a single teardrop could escape her eyes. She was empty.

Due to the blackout curtains, S.Coups had gotten for his room, there was no light seeping into the room, only adding to the depressing episode Minnie could feel herself falling into. Not again. Please, God, don't let me go through this again, she prayed. The darkness brought her back to the place she had been only two years ago. She couldn't let herself go back there. No, not like this.

Hastily, the girl shrugged the blanket off her body and rushed out of the room, opening the door to be met with the light walls and bright interior of the dorm her members shared. The familiar soft voices and gentle laughs rang through her ears, almost making her smile, only if there wasn't this heavyweight still pressing on her heart, not letting any emotion escape. Fuck, it was happening...

Just as Minnie was about to turn to enter the living space, Joshua's silhouette rounded the corner, stopping when he saw her form, frozen in the hallway.

"Oh, hey," he softly spoke to her. "You're awake."

Minnie nodded before realising she should probably also open her mouth. "Yeah," her voice was only a whisper, scared she would hurt her body or somebody else if she dared to speak any louder. The older member sent her a loving smile, nodding to where he had just come from,

"Come on. You should eat something." Waiting for the girl to follow him before he made his way back into the kitchen.

Did the female performer have an appetite? Absolutely not. Did she know she would have to put food into her body otherwise the others would start to worry once again? 100% yes. So there she was, walking into the kitchen, hot on Joshua's tracks, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she entered the shared room when all eyes fell on her. She met the comforting gazes of Seungcheol and, to her surprise, also Jeonghan and Seungkwan who must've joined them earlier in the day - if only she knew what the exact time was.

"Hey," she greeted them with a somewhat smile and a wave into the room, sitting down on one of the empty chairs by the table that Jeonghan pushed out for her.

"Hey," he smiled at her, "H-... how are you feeling?" The nervousness and uncertainty were clear in his voice - the members knew not to drown her in too many questions, remembering and respecting her sensitivity from the previous encounters they had with Minnie in a state like that.

The girl shrugged her shoulders, honestly not knowing what an honest answer to the question would be. Was she fine? Definitely not. Did she feel bad? Maybe a little. Was she miserable? ...Yes...

Before Jeonghan could continue a small talk, the leader beat him to it as he stood up and turned around to the cupboards.

"Is cereal fine?" He questioned her, to which she raised her head and nodded softly, followed by a quiet,

"Sure."

Seungcheol was just happy that she agreed to eat something.

As soon as she had joined the others in the kitchen, everyone could feel the tension spreading. The elephant was clear in the room with them, and she hated it. No one wanted to say what they were thinking, each one of them on edge in one way or another for the girl in the group. Joshua had left the four as he got ready in his own room. Jeonghan's hand was resting on the back of her chair, Cheol was preparing her bowl, cereal and milk, and Seungkwan was sitting in front of her, munching on his breakfast in silence - until it got too much for him.

"Wonwoo's an idiot." He suddenly blurted out, gaining the attention of the room.

"Seungkwan-" Cheol warned him in the strict voice all of them had gotten so accustomed to.

"What?" He shrugged, "It's the truth."

The leader brought the bowl to her, setting it down on the table. Minnie looked up at him,

"You told him?" He wasn't sure whether she was genuinely just curious or disappointed in the fact the other members now knew about the couple of the group having had the biggest fight they ever had. Coups sat back down in the chair next to the '98 Liner.

"Jeonghan asked why you were sleeping here, he saw you in my room, and when I explained it to him, Seungkwan came in. He overheard it," he explained.

She nodded as she held onto the spoon, moving it around in the bowl, suddenly at a complete loss of appetite. There was no way the food would make it down her throat. Suddenly, Minnie felt the soft hand of the '95 Liner next to her on her head as it brushed down the length of her hair.

"It's gonna be fine, princess." Using the name she had gained early on in their career. But all she could do was shake her head.

The female member got up to walk over to the fridge, her hand reaching out to grab a bottle of water, in the same moment, knocks from the front door echoed through the apartment.

"Got it!" Shua shouted before he opened the door, letting in whoever was behind it.

Minnie got back to her seat, now much more hydrated. Finally, her body would have enough fluid to create the tears again she so desperately wanted to let out. Jeonghan noticed the shaky deep breaths she took, still stirring her cereal, trying to suppress the sadness daring to seep out of her.

Joshua and another familiar voice got closer and closer. With one look to her left, she found the other member she shared a dorm with - Mingyu.

"Morning," he smiled into the room, only to change his facial expression once he noticed the still very tense aura in the room. "Hey," he nodded towards the girl, who sent him a nod. The concerned look in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by the second oldest who discreetly raised his hand with a nod to assure him that she was very well taken care of, even though he already knew that. Whenever she was with the members, didn't matter with whom specifically, she was in good hands.

"What do you need?" Cheol wondered why he had come to their dorm earlier than usual.

Mingyu raised his hands in synch. His right one held onto the female's phone while his left carried a bag. 

"You left this," looking at the dancer that was avoiding his eyes, he went ahead to place the phone in front of her, but before the device could touch the top of the table, she stopped him with her hand on his.

"I don't need it." She cleared her throat after noticing how scratchy her voice still was.

"You don't have to look at it, just have it by you-" he tried to reason with her, but she just pushed his hand further away.

"Keep it. I don't want it," Minnie looked up, the tears making her eyes glisten in the light coming from the window, "Please." She quietly begged him.

Her fellow '97 Liner nodded understandingly, not wanting to bring any more emotions up if they were able to keep her like this, he wasn't about to provoke her for no reason. He put her phone into his back pocket silently, nudging his head to the bag in his other hand.

"And... I brought you some things. I didn't know when you'd want to be back, so..." Mingyu wasn't sure how he wanted to finish the comment, so he decided to just not. His statement brought another wash of emotions over Minnie's body as she felt her eyes reacting and blinking rapidly, trying to push the tears back down as she kept her head low. Great... so the fight seemed as serious as she had perceived it as. Even Mingyu thought I wouldn't want to go back into their dorm... what have I done... her own voice kept repeating words in her head. Words she didn't want to hear.

The older '97 Liner took another look at her, getting nods from the other members, before retrieving back to the couch, taking the bag with him and sitting down on the side not occupied by Joshua, who was more focused on the little screen in his hand. While the four at the dining table sat in silence, eyes on the girl, Mingyu got a hold of the remote and turned on the TV on the wall. The screen lit up to show the news. Only that it was the wrong news for the current situation.

"-years probation as well as serving community service along with-" the voice of the female reporter filled the room, making all the heads turn to the living room, where they got a quick glimpse of no other than the man that was part of the reason for the fight that Minnie was still recovering from. Her gaze was fixed on the picture of Hanbin the report showed before it quickly switched to an action scene of a drama as Mingyu hastily changed the channel. He turned to the group on the table, fear in his eyes, as he was faced with the concerned look of Jeonghan, the disturbed glance on Seungkwan's face just screaming 'what the fuck is wrong with you, idiot' at him, and the warning frown forming on the leader's face.

"Sorry..." he softly apologised, immediately directing his attention to the girl, who kept a straight watch on the television, her eyes not letting them know what she was feeling because they looked empty. But that's exactly what she felt like. Empty. She was quick to lower her head again, afraid of what was to come next.

Cheol fixed his gaze on the spoon in her hand that wasn't stirring anymore, but was still tight in her grip - tighter than before. Her hair was covering the sides of her face that were getting redder as she tried to hold back the first sob of the day as hard as she possibly could, but everyone could see her shaking shoulders. Everyone's eyes were focused on her, Jeonghan had raised his hand softly, ready to brush over her back once the damn broke.

The unstable breath surprised the guys. "Good to know." Hadn't the room fallen so quiet, her whisper would've gone unnoticed. 

Before anyone could register what had happened, a loud sob escaped Minnie's lips as she pushed the bowl of cereal to the side and stood up, wanting nothing more than to leave the room and cry by herself, embarrassed by her outburst. The members were quick up on their feet, not even a second after she had gotten up, ready to go after her. The girl tried wiping away the tears that were suddenly falling uncontrollably, so she didn't notice the big stature of Mingyu, who was faster than the others and blocked her way into the hallway. She ran into him, stumbling back slightly before just coming to a halt, leaning her forehead against his chest. He didn't hesitate to raise his arms, wrapping them around her upper body, pulling her closer, making her hide her entire face in his shirt.

Mingyu let his cheek rest on her head, his right hand brushing the back of her hair, as he tried to shush her with his low voice.

"It's okay, Minnie-ya. It's okay."

She couldn't even bring herself to hug him back. All she was, was a limp body in his arms. Shaking and crying, needing to scream out into the world.

Her fellow '97 Liner could feel her mumblings something against his torso.

"What was that?" He wondered gently, giving the other guys a hand sign, letting them know he got her.

Minnie switched to lean her cheek against his chest, letting her speak more clearly. "He'll never forgive me." Followed by another crying round as she didn't even try to hold back the rush of emotions this time. Mingyu shut his eyes tightly, hating the feeling of having a weeping girl in his arms, knowing there was rarely anything he could do to make her feel better, other than just be there. He felt useless. His arms tightened around her, hoping it would do something, help her somehow. He just wanted her to stop crying. Make the pain stop. He started feeling tears welling up in his own eyes, knowing that two of his closest friends were hurting.

-

He came back into the hallway, shutting the door to S.Coups' room as quietly as he possibly could. His footsteps were soft against the hardwood floor, despite his muscular figure, as he walked back into the shared living space, where the members were now split up with Joshua and Seungkwan on the couch, while Seungcheol and Jeonghan were still at the dining table, all the dishes now gone. Even though it was an hour after Minnie had broken down in Mingyu's arms, the room was still just as tense as before.

"Did you get her to fall asleep?" The leader of the group wondered, making the tallest member sigh.

"Barely." He threw himself back onto the couch with a groan, his hand brushing over his face in frustration. Seungkwan patted his shoulder, trying to assure him of whatever he needed at the moment. You did well, he wanted to tell him, you're doing what you can.

"This is not good," Cheol stated, shaking his head, "This might be worse than I thought."

"It's not good?" The youngest in the room jumped up, "It's bad! It's really bad!"

"Seungkwan!" Jeonghan tried to shush him, but the '98 Liner didn't listen.

"Do you know how worried I am right now?! We haven't seen her like this for years, and all you're saying is 'this is not good'?!"

The leader copied his stand, "Well what do you want me to do?! I'm thinking, okay?! I'm trying to find something to help her, but I don't know what to do!"

"Guys!" The second oldest got up, holding out his hand to make both of the members shut their mouths, "Be quiet, for God's sake!"

S.Coups went back to sitting down, but Seungkwan stayed in his position, now nervously fumbling with his fingers.

"I-I'm sorry, hyung," he slightly stuttered. "I'm just really frustrated right now."

The '95 Liner nodded, "We all are." Then sighed out loud. "God... I knew this was gonna happen." All eyes turned towards him.

"What?" The youngest questioned him.

"I mean, it was bound to happen. They had to have their first fight, being so close all the time, I just didn't expect it to be... like that." The members nodded in agreement.

Seungkwan sat back down, letting out a chunk of air. "You know, for the fact that Hanbin isn't even in her life anymore, he sure makes her cry a lot."

"Well, but he still is. Kinda," Joshua spoke up, gaining the attention of the room. "Not physically, but she's still attached to him... in a way."

"Can you blame her?" Cheol asked him. "Their breakup was... not really normal. And definitely not natural. Who knows how long they would've stayed together if that scandal never happened."

"God, please don't start with that," Mingyu groaned, making the guys look at him in confusion, "I had to listen to that too much last night."

"What do you mean?" Jeonghan wondered.

The rapper got up to enter the kitchen, explaining himself on the way. "Minnie said that to Wonwoo last night, that she still cared about him because they didn't part in bad ways, but because they were kinda forced to. And then Wonwoo went on, on what if that never would've happened if they had still gotten together at some point, and obviously, she said how would she know that, because she can't, which is true. And... Wonwoo... didn't take that too well. So please," he came back into the living room, faced with stunned gazes, "Let's not wonder about that. What happened happened, and now Minnie and Wonwoo are together. And that's it."

The room fell silent for a good five seconds, the guys letting Mingyu's words sink in. He had to listen to every single word that came out of the couple's mouth, and he was probably remembering them better than the people involved since he hadn't been filled with anger in the heat of the moment. There were so many questions the members had for him, they wanted to know more. More details. More anything. But they also knew that it wouldn't be right to question him about that all too much.

Jeonghan was the first to break the stillness. "How is he?" Everyone knew who he was talking about.

"Hopefully miserable," Seungcheol sitting across from him, leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he scoffed.

"Coups..." his fellow '95 Liner spoke out his name with a slight warning tone.

"What?" The leader locked eyes with him, "You've seen the state she's in and you just heard what he asked her. I don't even want to know what other things he said to her. Do you really want him to just upstairs and not regret anything from last night?! I hope he's fucking sad, I hope he's in even more misery than her. But I know he probably isn't..." mumbling the last part.

With a deep breath, Jeonghan looked back at the other rapper, "Mingyu?" Who exchanged a quick glance with him before shrugging,

"I'm not sure, to be honest. He didn't talk to me last night, and I didn't hear him go to bed. Today I only passed his room and saw him sitting in front of the computer. But that's it."

"Did you even try talking to him?" The leader threw at him, making Mingyu roll his eyes.

"Of course. But nothing came back."

Cheol scoffed, eyeing Jeonghan again, "See! He doesn't even know what he did wrong."

"I don't know about that," the '97 Liner interrupted him.

"What?" The two oldest looked at him in confusion.

"I'm pretty sure he cried during their fight. I don't for sure, but it definitely sounded like it."

Seungkwan looked at him, his mouth slightly open. "But Wonwoo-hyung never cries."

"Exactly," Mingyu nodded, "But yesterday..."

"See." Jeonghan copied S.Coups' expression from before, showing him that both of them were somewhat right about the story. "You're just suddenly furious with him because he's quiet? As if that's surprising all of a sudden."

"I'm furious because he's not even trying to make it better."

Joshua spoke up, "Well... we don't know that. Maybe he's currently thinking about what to do as well."

Cheol scoffed as he stood up, "Is anyone here on my side?"

"There are no sides to be on, Coups!" Jeonghan tried to explain, "Both of them probably said things they regret now. We're not taking any sides, we're in the middle, and we have to figure out what we're gonna do now."

"They have to talk." Mingyu simply stated. "They have to talk like normal people, not scream at each other, because I can understand both sides, and I'm sure they can too, but they have to talk about it. Calmly."

Shua shook his head, "Not today, though. I don't even think we're gonna get her out of this apartment any time soon."

"She's supposed to be with Woozi tomorrow," S.Coups got up from his seat and started to roam the room. "But I don't know if she's still up for that. Then after that, we have practice for the live shows."

"The day after tomorrow?" Seungkwan asked, getting a nod from the leader in response.

"They're gonna talk," Jeonghan assured everyone in the room - or at least tried to. "They can't go longer than two days... right?"

Mingyu shrugged, "I wouldn't be surprised if they did, to be honest," making any bit of guarantee in the room evaporate.

-

Minnie slept for another good three hours on their free day. During that time, Jeonghan, Seungkwan, and Mingyu went back to their designated rooms after their group conversation had come to an end. They decided to not let the other guys know until the day they all had to be in the practice room together, in the hopes of the couple making up before that. It was a small spark of hope, but at least they had some. The other '97 Liner promised to try and talk to Wonwoo again, otherwise their leader would... and he wouldn't go easy on him - Jeonghan literally had to hold him back so he wouldn't sprint out of the door and ran upstairs, not afraid to let a fist or two fly. Yes, Wonwoo was his member and he loved him very dearly, but Minnie was his sister and he had promised her, his parents and her mother, to take care of her, and right now, it felt like he was failing.

After a two-hour-long phone call with his father, which his mother also quickly joined for a bit, he gained back the confidence he needed, not as a leader, but as a friend in the situation. That's who they needed. Not an annoying leader, but a trustworthy friend.

Joshua and Cheol made sure Minnie ate something after waking up, not pressuring her to talk any more than necessary and not watching her as if she was a fragile little newborn, but still keeping a protective eye on her throughout the day. The only movements she really did were from the bedroom to the kitchen, to the living room for a bit before disappearing into the bedroom again. She went to the bathroom to freshen up as well as possible but didn't even dare to think about going back to her place where she was being missed more than she could imagine.

-

The next day came quicker than the female performer would've wanted and after spending another night in Seungcheol's room, filled with some much-needed late-night deep-talk, she got herself together, ready for a day at the studio with her favourite producer. If there was one thing that could get her mood up, it was letting all of her frustration out on paper, writing lyrics and poems and whatever would come to mind before discussing each line with Woozi. She understood the other members' concern about her falling yet into another deep hole, and she, just as much as them, didn't want that. And she somewhat had the energy to fight against it.

Was she ready to face her boyfriend again? Probably not, but she also wasn't sure about how much longer she could endure the tension between the two.

The night before she almost reached for her phone to text him sorry and beg for his forgiveness, but the guys had reminded her that both parties were somewhat in the wrong and that she was in no position to give in.

'Take your time, think about it. You had a fight, that's normal. But you should still talk about everything. Don't hide what you truly think.'

'If he truly loves you, which he does, he loves all of you. Every single bit of you.'

The leader had offered to drive her, but she declined, already having called the manager, who had to visit their label's building anyway. After making sure she had everything she needed in her bag, a smaller one that Mingyu brought her, not expecting her to come upstairs to get it for herself, she exited the apartment and went down into the garage, greeting her manager with a small smile.

They fell into a somewhat comfortable small talk conversation after Minnie found more comfort in lying about how the past days had been for her. She wasn't gonna mention the fight. This was something between her and Wonwoo - she already felt bad enough that she dragged so many other members into it.

They left the car together and entered the building, their ways parting after the elevator opened for the first time, her manager exiting the small room before she went up a few more floors, already knowing the way to the producer's studio by heart.

She walked through the modern hallways, eyeing the floor the entire time, and stopping at the right door. Minnie knew to knock before entering even though there was a big chance Woozi would be wearing his headphones, not hearing a single thing, but much to her surprise, she got a muffled,

'Come in!' in return.

After opening the door, she came to sight with the producer she was expecting, as well as Bumzu standing in the room, hands in his pockets. They seemed to have been in a conversation, which ended as soon as Minnie had come in.

"Hey," she gave both men a soft smile, her hands clutching the strap of her bag on her shoulder tightly.

The older producer copied her facial expression, just much more brightly, greeting her with a wide grin.

"How are you?" Bumzu opened his left arm, inviting her for a hug she definitely needed, even though he didn't know about that. She gladly accepted it, wrapping both of her arms around the side of his torso, giving him not the usual squeeze she normally would.

"Alright," the girl mumbled before sitting down on the couch on the wall behind them, "You?"

Bumzu nodded, "All good. Was just on my out," he turned back to Woozi, discussing a few last things about their next session, then switched to Minnie, giving her a quick wave. "See ya, Min." Before seeing himself out.

A wave of silence washed over the room as the female propped her feet up on the small table in front of the sofa, getting her notebook and pen, laptop and phone out of her bag. Jihoon's eyes didn't leave her form, trying to read and see through her unusually slow movements. He let it slide, blaming his slight fatigue.

"So," he turned back around to the mixing table, "What you got for me?"

Minnie cleared her throat, "Ehm," and started flipping through her notebook, trying to find the loose piece of paper she was thinking of. "I still have this," she leaned forward as he turned to her, taking the napkin out of her hand. He chuckled with a shake of his head. Even after years of writing, this girl sometimes still used whatever was closest to her to write down what was going on in her head. Woozi remembered the time she ran over to him, showing him her arm that was covered in lyrics, around four years ago - she never changed.

"That was supposed to be for Crush, but I didn't like it in the end," she quietly explained, sitting back down comfortably on the couch.

He let her be by herself, alone with her thoughts for a few more minutes. It wasn't unusual that both of the members would work in silence next to each other. But never right from the beginning. Jihoon was used to hearing her talk about what she had seen on her way to the studio or about events from that morning, or even the evening before. Minnie would move around the room, walking back and forth as she dramatised whatever story she was telling him or even when she was just thinking. Having her sitting quietly in his studio didn't seem as natural.

"What's up?" He broke the quietness, making her hum.

"Not much," she mumbled once again. Her head was still down on her notebook, switching over to the laptop she had turned on.

Woozi turned his chair to look directly at you, "I didn't mean in general. I meant what's up with you."

Minnie looked up slowly, her eyes moving up first, followed by her head, her lips tightly pressed together as she shook her head. "Nothing."

With a sigh, he put the piece of paper back on the coffee table, sliding it over to the girl. "Then I don't want this until you tell me what's bothering you."

The '97 Liner scoffed and snatched the napkin back into her grip, throwing it onto the cushion next to her. "Then don't, Jesus Christ, your loss."

The producer raised his eyebrows, yep, something was definitely not okay with her. "Minnie, if you're gonna be like that, you can walk out and go back to the dorms, I don't need you in a bad mood here." He leaned back more comfortably, crossing his arms. "So either you tell me what's going on or you leave."

Minnie sighed in clear annoyance, "Can't I just sit here in silence and write?-"

"Not if you're gonna snap at me like that."

The girl shut her mouth, looking dead in the eyes of the '96 Liner before throwing her head back, realising there was no way out of the situation. Three days ago she was excited about spending some time with him in the studio, with no pressure of creating their next album, but just chilling and killing time, comfortably exchanging lyrics and recording demos for possible future songs. Now, she was sitting there, almost regretting her decision of coming, wanting nothing more than to just hide herself in the comfort of a bed again.

She brushed some hair behind her ear, glancing at him one more time, finding him still looking at her, waiting for an explanation.

"Wonwoo and I had a fight."

Jihoon's mouth opened and nodded 'There it is.'

"And I'm guessing it didn't end well?"

Minnie brought her legs ups, hugging her knees tightly to her body, shaking her head, already feeling her lips quivering again, only annoying her even more. She took a deep breath, hoping to contain some of the sadness.

"I haven't been to the apartment in two days."

Woozi was clearly taken aback by that statement. "Jesus..." he exclaimed, "What happened?"

"Just... stupid shit." He let her take her time, waiting patiently as she explained the events of that evening to him. She started with the moment in the practice room, all to the screaming that began in the kitchen, and the final shouting match they had in the living room, all until she left to stay in the 8th-floor dorm. Minnie surprised herself as she got through the story without crying, her body clearly dried out from all the tears she had shed throughout the past few days.

Woozi wanted to curse out loud, wanted to throw the most vile words into the room, but he knew it wouldn't make anything better and that it would in fact be the last thing the girl in front of him needed, so he did his best to stay calm. He looked around the room, forcing himself not to shake his head. "Wh-... Guys..."

"I know..." The dancer hid her face behind her knees. 

"What are you gonna do?"

He only got a shrug in response.

"You have to talk to him, Minnie."

The girl shook her head.

"Minn-"

"He said, he didn't trust me anymore!" She exclaimed.

"That was in the heat of the moment, I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that..."

Woozi sighed, "Don't say that." But she didn't answer. Another few seconds passed in which they didn't share any words before the producer got out of the question that had been bothering him ever since she finished her story. "Why do you still care so much about him?"

"Hanbin?"

Woozi nodded.

Minnie rolled her eyes. "Why is it a crime to care about people?!"

"Hey," he stopped her, "I didn't say you're not allowed to, I asked you normally and genuinely want to know." His explanation made the girl feel bad about the outburst she almost had. He was just trying to be a good friend and here she was throwing accusations at him... similar to what she and Wonwoo had done to each other.

"I..." she started but stopped. If only the answer was easy as she wanted it to be. "W-... We were forced to break up. Neither one of us truly wanted it... but it happened... because of him... and because of what happened to him. And back then, I was so scared of what was going to happen and I... I still was because... we didn't end things on bad terms, you know?" Minnie looked up, finding the caring eyes immediately gazing at her, a gentle smile decorating Jihoon's face. "Of course, I was devastated, but... he had to do it and I understand why he did it, and I'm very thankful that he did it..." She took a deep, slightly shaky, breath, "He cared so much for me back then that he broke up with me to protect me... so w- why shouldn't I now care for him? We're friends?..." Making it sound more like a question as she wasn't even sure about the statement herself.

"Are you though?" Woozi suddenly threw into the room.

She glared at him, eyebrows scrunched, "What?"

"Are you and Hanbin really friends?" She waited for him to continue, "When was the last time he texted you, or talked to you or... I don't know, had some kind of interaction with you?"

Minnie shrugged, "H-He... hasn't. Not ever since back then."

"Then that's not a friend, Minnie," he stated but before she could interfere, he continued, "I understand why you wanted to be there for him, even if it was just through Bobby, asking how he was and stuff, I truly get that. But... I'm sorry, but... you have to let him go. He broke up with you for a reason. He didn't want you involved in his shit in any way. He cared enough about you to let you go... so you should do the same."

"B-But how?" Minnie whispered, suddenly the tears in her eyes as visible as ever before when Jihoon looked at her, dragging his chair a little closer to her. "How c-can I just... let him go," she sniffled, "If I don't even know if he's okay?"

"You just have to learn how to not care too much anymore," he got up to join her on the couch, placing a comforting hand on her knee as he let his head rest on the back of the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "Do you still love him?- And before you give me the same answer like you gave Wonwoo, think about it." He quickly added, letting the girl know, that he was there to help and understand her. He wasn't blaming her.

Minnie shook her head, sniffling once again. "No." She assured Woozi, and herself, "Not like I did before. I love him... like... a friend would, but that's it. I promise." She moved her head to look at him. Jihoon saw her from the corner of his eye, turning his head to lock eyes with her.

"I know, you don't have to defend yourself in front of me. I'm not the one who needs to hear that. But... like I said... you're not friends with him anymore. I know it hurts. And I'm sorry. But it's the truth."

The female member nodded, finally letting the tears escape from her eyes, letting her head fall onto the man's shoulder.

"You lose people all throughout your life, Minnie. He was there, he made you happy, but you have someone new who loves you more than you could ever imagine," his arm had found its way around her shoulder. "Imagine how you would've reacted if the roles were reversed. You don't think you would've been jealous if Wonwoo was still caring so much about his ex?"

"But he never lost an ex like that."

"That's true," he nodded, "I understand that, but even if he did. Imagine him ignoring you, putting you second, just because he was so focused on making sure his ex was doing alright."

Minnie moved her head in understanding. She didn't even think about that.

"You both are jealous people in one way or another, and that's healthy to an extent. It just shows that you care about each other," he lifted her head from his shoulder, making her have to look into his eyes. "He cares so much about you, that's why he reacted that way. He just wanted to know that you feel the same way. Everyone needs that assurance every now and then."

The girl nodded, "I get that."

He patted her arm one more time before getting up again and sitting back down on his beloved chair. "Just remember who you wrote To You about. Or Crush. It better not have been about Hanbin, or it's coming off the album right now."

She couldn't help but let the giggle tumble from her lips, "No," she sniffled one last time, "Not, it wasn't about Hanbin."

"Good," he grinned, "Then it can stay."

Before he could turn back around the mixing table, her voice stopped him.

"Do you think he ever asked Bobby or any of the other guys how I was doing?" She know she shouldn't wonder about that, but that was the very last thing she needed closure on.

Woozi took a deep breath, "I'm sure he did at the beginning. You don't just suddenly not care about a person, especially if you've been together for as long as you guys were. But I also hope that he has gotten over it and that he's happy. Just like you should." Sending her a strict eye, making her nod.

"I know..."

-

Before leaving the studio later that night, she had to promise the '96 Liner that she would at least go back to her own apartment. She didn't have to go back to their lives and pretend like nothing had happened, but she should try to get back to what was once their normality. The couple still had to talk about what had happened, both of them still carried some kind of baggage with them and she swore to Woozi that she would, at some point in the very near future, confront Wonwoo about it.

What she didn't know about was the confrontation her boyfriend had with the two Chinese members over Facetime, who noticed very quickly that something was going on with the rapper, immediately squeezing out every answer they wanted from him. Just like Minnie, he opened up and shared the entire story with the two, letting them in on his feelings, which he rarely ever did. He needed guidance. He needed advice. And yet, he could not get himself to face one of the members in real life and ask them for that favour - it seemed so much easier over the phone.

The '96 Liner would still need some time to get himself together enough to confront her so openly, but he wanted to, God... he really wanted to.

Wonwoo was in the living room, close to dozing off, clearly bored by what was playing on the TV, while Mingyu was already asleep in his room - it was 2AM after all. The sound of the door unlocking made the rapper perk up, trying to listen to who had entered their apartment, desperately hoping it was who he expected it to be. He concentrated on the light footsteps, listening to the person settling the bag, softly smiling once he knew for sure it was who he hoped for. 

The steps got closer and closer, once they walked through the hallway, they stopped at the entrance to the living room. Wonwoo whipped his head to the side, finding Minnie frozen in place, surprised by the fact that it was him and not her fellow '97 Liner she would've expected to sit on the sofa.

"Hey," the rapper spoke first, breathing heavier than he would've liked to admit.

"Hi," the girl tried to force a smile, but it rarely showed.

Wonwoo gulped, sitting up straighter. "You're back."

"I... am," she looked around the room nervously. God, why was this more awkward than a first date. It shouldn't be like that. Both of them hated it. Minnie didn't notice when he was about to open his mouth, ready to talk to her, unknowingly interrupting him, "I-" he raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. "I'm... I'm gonna to bed. I'm... tired."

Okay... it looked like she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

He nodded, "Yeah, yeah," he whispered. "I... I'll take the couch." Minnie gazed at him, her mouth slightly agape. She didn't expect that.

Okay... he wasn't ready to even be in the same room with her... that hurt.

She nodded, "Yeah... okay." Without wasting another second in the uncomfortable stillness, she turned to walk towards their usually shared bedroom, when his voice made her turn back to him.

"Minnie?"

"Yeah?" Her voice was filled with hope and desperation. Hope that he might change his mind and join her like he normally would. Desperate to feel his touch again.

His eyes found hers. But he couldn't read her. He was so scared to say the wrong thing yet again, so it would just be better to not say anything at all - or at least that's what his head told him.

"Good night."

Minnie sighed. There goes the hope. "Good night." She nodded, leaving him alone in the living room, where the only light was coming from the small lamp on the end table in the corner. Only a few days ago, Wonwoo could've sworn that that girl in front of him was brighter than any light he had ever seen. Her smile could light up an entire city. But right now... she looked duller than the deepness of an ocean.

Once she had reached their room and closed the door, throwing herself to lean back at it, she took a deep breath. She repeated Woozi's words in her head, trying to calm her racing thoughts and pumping heart.

'Give him time. Give yourself some time. You both need it.'

Just some time. She silently prayed for that 'some time' to be over soon.

-

The following started quietly, the three dormmates didn't share many words in the morning, deciding on sharing breakfast in silence after Mingyu exclaimed how happy he was to have the girl back in the apartment.

In the car on the way to the practice room, each one of them entertained themselves with their phones, some with their headphones in. Mingyu hated the clear tension and tried to loosen it up by talking to their manager in the driver's seat, directing questions to Wonwoo and Minnie every now and then, hoping the older man didn't notice it all too much.

Once they arrived in the practice room, each went their own way, Wonwoo sat down on the floor, his back against the wall, Mingyu talked to the choreographer that had become a good friend of the group and Minnie lowered her body to the floor to start stretching, getting ready for the practice-choreography for their upcoming live shows where they'd be performing 'Rock With You' without Jun and Minghao.

She felt a presence next to her, and looking up into the mirror in front of her revealed Seungkwan who rounded her sitting form and crouched down in front of her.

"And?"

"And what?" Minnie switched to stretch her other side.

"Did you two talk?" The '98 Liner wondered, sipping on the coffee he had brought along.

The girl sighed, "Does it look like we've talked?"

"Jeez..." he shook his head and stood back up, "Make-up quicker, you're no fun in this mood." As he brushed past her again, she smacked his calf, getting a surprised exclaim from him before he dared to fake kick her, walking back to Vernon, who had been eyeing them in confusion. 

The other members left her to be by herself, but she could feel their eyes on her, especially the '95 Liners' and Woozi's - Seungkwan seemed to leave her alone.

The woman with the camera entering the room alarmed Mingyu who confirmed his worry. He rushed over to the girl, leaning down behind her, surprising her at the sudden closeness as he mumbled into her ear.

"They're filming for Inside today, don't forget that." She looked back at the door, where the woman was getting the camera ready and let a sigh out.

"Oh, fuck, I forgot..."

The rapper patted her back, "Just act. You're good at acting," smiling at her through the mirror as he leaned back to nudge him, making him chuckle before his facial expression slightly shifted.

"Why didn't you guys talk last night?" Minnie looked at him with raised eyebrows. He continued, "I heard you come in, but you two spoke really quietly and since you almost didn't even look at each other this morning, I'm just guessing."

The girl crossed her legs, deciding that she had finished her stretching session for the day. She shook her head and fixed her hair,

"He didn't even want to be in the same room as me, how was I supposed to talk to him?"

"What? What makes you think that?" Remembering hearing the conversation he overheard as he passed Wonwoo's room, where Jun assured him that he should make the first move and apologise and Minghao letting him know that Minnie was most definitely just as miserable as he was. Why he hadn't followed their advice was a mystery to him.

The girl leaned back against his chest as his arms rested over her shoulders. "I told him I'd go to bed, and he just said he'll take the couch. He didn't even try and follow me. He wanted to be away from me..."

"Minnie..." he sighed, "I think you understood him wrong-"

"No, he could've at least tried, and he didn't even try to stay in the same room. He doesn't want to talk, so I'm not gonna try and make him."

Her fellow '97 Liner nodded softly. "Alright..." and stood back up, patting her shoulders before walking away from her. Minnie raised her head to look at herself in the mirror when she felt another pair of eyes on her. Her gaze drifted to the right where she found her boyfriend staring at her reflection, the phone in his hands long forgotten. She was about to force a smile when she saw Mingyu getting closer to him, taking a seat right next to his best friend. With a deep huff of breath, she pushed herself to stand up and walk further away from the duo.

-

The practice was in full swing, the group taking small breaks after each part they had finished performing in front of the mirror.

"Alright, for the time being," the choreographer explained, "We agreed on Minnie being lifted up, so let's try that." It would be the first time they tried that move.

The group got into their positions, with the girl on her way to the far left where five of the members were waiting for her.

"Be careful," she heard him whisper as she passed Wonwoo, looking back, she gave him a quick nod. 

She stopped once she had reached Dino and Joshua, who each held one arm open, welcoming her and ready to steady her back once she'd get lifted up. Carefully, she took a step forward, just about to step on their feet as the choreographer let her know exactly just how she should do it. On three Dino, Joshua, Mingyu, and Jeonghan all together lifted her up, making her chuckle at the feeling while she steadied herself with a hand on the '97 Liner's strong shoulder

"You're so light!" The youngest commented, making the two oldest exchange knowing glances, but they didn't comment any further. "Even lighter than Myungho," Dino added, making the girl chuckle nervously.

"You okay with doing that move, Minnie?" Youngjoon asked her, getting a quick nod in response as she straightened the front of her pants. "Good, and just don't forget to extend your arm forward."

-

The members fell to the floor, panting, desperately trying to catch more breath than physically possible after practice had officially ended. Minnie was laying on the floor, eyes closed, with her hands on her ribs, trying to execute the breathing exercises her pilates teacher had taught her.

Suddenly, the light was blocked by something and after opening her eyes again, the figure of her boyfriend revealed itself, holding out a bottle of water down at her. She eyed him for a second before he pushed it closer to her, "Take it."

The girl sat herself up and took the bottle out of his grasp, giving him a small, "Thank you," in response, along with a nod before he disappeared again. She opened it to take a quick sip, turning her head to the side to find Woozi and Seungcheol already looking at her. Both of the leaders grinned at her, to which she just rolled her eyes and got up from the floor to get ready to leave.

-

The female performer wasn't even able to get her jacket off once they got back home when her phone started ringing. With one quick look, Minnie saw 'Mum' lighting up the screen, making her sigh softly. Their conversation started normal: the mother asking her daughter about what work was like, with her asking the same in return, but it only took a few minutes before the older woman changed the subject.

"Why didn't you tell me that Wonwoo and you had a fight?" Her mum's voice rang through her ears from the other side of the phone.

"What?" Minnie wondered, "How do you know about that?"

"Seungcheol called me. You know, he was very worried about you. He got really scared," she explained. As much as the girl appreciated the worry leader showed for her, she couldn't help the slight annoyance of him talking to every living being about her misery - yes, it was her mother, but still... but she reminded herself that it was out of love, just like the woman had told her.

"It- I don't know... I hoped to clear it up myself, I guess." Minnie's fingers brushed through her hair as she leaned back against the chair at the dining table, her feet up and knees close to her body. "I messed up, now I have to fix it-"

"I don't know, Seungcheol said something else."

"Cheol is just annoyed. And I know he cares for me, so... yeah. But I really wasn't in the right either. Trust me, I did my part in the fight as well."

"Well, there's always two parties involved."

"Exactly."

She heard her mother sigh, "I just hope you don't take it too hard on yourself. Like I said, you two were part of it, so it takes two to make up for it again. Don't think that you have to fix whatever is going on between you two on your own. Work together, as a team."

"I know, I know... I'll try. Last night, he didn't really want to talk to me... I hope it'll be different soon," Minnie explained, finding a loose thread on her sock to pull on.

"And, you know, there's always make-up sex.“

"Mum!" The girl groaned in embarrassment.

"Oh, please," the woman exclaimed, "You're an adult now, let me talk to you like one!"

"Alright, alright," she chuckled, thankful for the person on the other side of the world, suddenly missing her even more than she usually does.

"Men would never say no to that. You just have to know how to initiate it."

Minnie laughed, "Okay, yeah, thanks. But... we should probably also talk about what happened, it's not something that... will be taken care of quickly, I think."

"You know him better than I do, and I'm sure you know what to do, so I trust you. And just know, it's not only you that did something wrong, so don't blame yourself too much."

The female member was about to respond when Wonwoo came into the room, passing the dining table to walk into the kitchen.

"Alright, maman, je dois y aller," (trans.: mum, I gotta go) she quickly switched to French, knowing her boyfriend could easily understand any English she'd speak now.

"Oh, Il est là?" (trans.: Is he here?") Minnie hummed to let her know she was right, and continued humming, as well as giving her a series of 'okay, okay' as they ended their call.

She placed her phone down, letting a quiet sigh out as she put her feet back onto the floor and leaned forward to rest her elbows on top of the table.

"Your mum?" Wonwoo suddenly broke the silence, making Minnie's ears and head perk up, surprised by the sudden conversation he was trying to start.

She nodded, "Yeah..."

The rapper continued chopping up the vegetables for whatever he had planned to make. "How is she?"

"Good," the girl took a deep breath, "They found a new place to open their next restaurant."

"Oh... cool," they both nodded in silence as they could feel the tension and awkwardness growing again.

With his back to the walkthrough leading to the living room, Wonwoo didn't notice Mingyu who was about to come in, but stopped abruptly when he noticed the couple in the room, and quickly walked back, ignoring the silent pleads from Minnie not to leave them alone.

Another minute went by, neither one of them saying a thing. The sound of the knife hitting the board was the only reason the room wasn't completely quiet.

"Min-"

"Listen-"

They both started at the same time and stopped in synch as they noticed the other one wanted to start.

"Sorry," Wonwoo was quick to apologise, putting the knife down, leaning back against the counter as he motioned towards the girl. "You go first."

"No," she hastily exclaimed, "No, you go. You were first."

He took a deep breath, looking down at the floor before locking eyes with his girlfriend. "I'm sorry. Last night... I-... I didn't..." he sighed in annoyance. Annoyed at himself that he couldn't find the right words. "I wanted to talk to you, but... you said you were tired and wanted to go to bed, so I thought you didn't want to talk."

"I wanted you to join me...," Minnie shyly explained, finding her nails to pick at.

Wonwoo nodded, "I was too blind to see that."

She cleared her throat, "I thought you didn't want to talk because you said you'd sleep on the couch-"

"I did that because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

A light switch turned on in the girl's head. That's why...

"But," he started again, "I... I'm sorry about the other day... I- ugh... I don't know."

Minnie's eyes never left his form while he drifted all around the room, mostly focusing on the floor. She looked at her destroyed nails, quickly brushing off the nervosity and speaking up.

"I-I'm sorry too... but... I mean... I'm sorry for what I said... to you," she looked up and was thankful to find his gaze on her. "I shouldn't have said some of those things... but... I'm- I'm not sorry for caring about him." Her voice was soft and quiet, scared of the reaction she might get, knowing he would probably disagree with her. To her surprise, Wonwoo nodded.

"I can't help it."

"But why?" He wondered gently, "Why do you still care about him so much? Am I not enough for you?"

"Wha- no, no no no," she quickly stopped him, "That has nothing to do with you." Minnie took a quick breath, reminding herself of what Woozi had told her, and to not repeat the exact words she had thrown at her boyfriend a few days ago. "He cared enough about me to end things," she could see Wonwoo's body tensing up, "So... I guess, it just feels right that I should also still care about him."

"But after two years, Minnie? Two years."

"I know," the girl whispered, hiding her face behind her hands, "God, I know... I'm sorry."

"What do I have to do?" He questioned, getting a confused look in return. "What do you need me to do, so you can finally keep him in the past."

"I-I don't know... I'm trying... I promise..." she stuttered, her breaths feeling heavier with each second.

Wonwoo crossed his arms in front of his chest, taking a quick glance into the living room. "You know I'd do anything for you. And I mean... anything."

Great, he just had to say something that would get Minnie's emotions to come back up again. His words reached her ears, sending a gentle chill down her spine, making her heart speed up just a bit. She hadn't lost him.

"I know," he almost overheard her shaky whisper as she brought her hands up to her face once again

"Then just tell me, and I'll do it. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I don't care enough about you, that he was the better boyfriend or whatever. Just tell me, and I'll prove to you-"

"No, God, please, it's not that-"

"Then, what is it?"

"I don't know!" She revealed her now red face and glassy eyes, taking him back to the night he wished never had happened. If he could take back the way he confronted her, he would. And here he finally had the chance to make everything right again.

Wonwoo rushed over to the weeping girl on the chair, "Hey, hey, don't cry," getting down on his knees right in front of her, "Please don't cry, jagi." He raised his hand to brush over the side of her head, pressing it down to make her lean into his body.

"I'm so sorry," she cried into his shoulder, "I love you, I promise-"

"Shh, I know," he comforted her, his hands on her body, pulling her close, "It's okay-"

She raised her head, "No, it's not okay-," she sniffled, "I love you, Wonwoo. I only love you."

"I know, it's okay, I shouldn't have questioned that."

"I don't love him anymore, I swear," Minnie steadied herself on his shoulders, "I-I don't, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that. But I promise."

His fingers grazed over her forehead and left eyebrow, down the side of her face, down to her jaw and chin.

"I know, babe. It's okay. I'm so sorry for not believing you."

"I'm sorry that I still care about him, I-I know I shouldn't, but... I can't help it-"

"No, I...," he sighed, "I understand it, I just... I got jealous... and I took it out on you, I'm sorry."

With a pained facial expression, Minnie let her head rest back on his shoulder, leaving the chair and letting herself fall into his arms, wrapping hers around his shoulders. His hands rubbed up and down her back, as he hid his face in her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of her perfume and shampoo he had so desperately been missing. Wonwoo could still feel her slightly shaking against his body, hoping his hug was comforting her. If he only knew how much it was helping Minnie, but that it was also the reason why she couldn't hold back her tears. The girl had been almost convinced of the fact that she was going to lose him and lose a part of her along with him.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you couldn't trust me," she mumbled against his clothes, making him shake his head immediately.

"Don't say that. I've never not trusted you." His hands cradled her face to make her look at him again. "I promise." Her fingers wrapped around his wrists as she leaned her forehead against his.

"I can't lose you," she quietly admitted, the pain still clear in her voice.

The '96 Liner leaned back slightly to lift his head and place a loving kiss against her forehead, making sure to stay in that position for a few seconds before doing the same to her left cheek.

"You're not gonna lose me," he whispered back, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks. "I couldn't live with myself if I ever let go of the best thing that ever happened to me."

The girl sent him a sad smile, her eyes still glassy and her cheeks stained red.

"If I ever make you cry again, slap me, okay? I don't want to ever be the reason that you feel like this." His first sentence made Minnie chuckle, before she hugged him tightly again, needing to make up for the lost days when she couldn't hold him like this.

"I'm so sorry," she told him one last time as his hand found its way underneath her shirt, placing his palm on the naked skin of her back.

Another kiss was placed on the side of her head, "I'm sorry too." He let a few seconds pass, just enjoying the warmth of their bodies together before he spoke up again. "He's not going to jail, by the way."

She relieved him of the hug, leaning back while his hands stayed on her back, "I know. But I don't care," and shook her head, "I shouldn't care."

His right pointer finger came up to move away some of the hairs that had stuck to her forehead, "No, it's okay to care. Just shows that you have too big of a heart."

Minnie grinned, locking eyes with her boyfriend once again, relieved to feel no suspense and no awkward tension between them anymore.

"I love you," she let the words roll off her tongue easily, just like she normally would.

It didn't matter that it was probably the 400th time Wonwoo had heard the words, he'd never get enough of it, and them coming from her would never not make him smile.

"I love you too." Not hesitating to lean in and finally get the kiss both of them have been craving for for the past few days. To finally feel his lips move against hers again, let Minnie feel the ecstasy rushing through her body, making her only smile even more.

A few seconds later, they separated again, gazing into each other's eyes, still engulfed in their arms.

"You know what's in a week?" Wonwoo grinned up at her.

"Hm?" She tilted her head gently to the side as she let her fingers run along the side of his face, admiring his beauty like she sometimes did whenever they shared a bed.

"One year." Then it hit her.

She gasped softly, "Oh my God... already?" Wonwoo nodded happily, making her copy his expression. "One year together... what would you rate it, Sir Jeon?" Making him chuckle as he pretended to think about it for a second before continuing to smile at her.

"Could use a few more years." To which the girl couldn't hide her smile as well. "What do you say?" He wondered, making her nod.

"I agree. A few a lot more years, I'd say."

"That sounds about right," he grinned, leaning back into her to feel the softness of her lips on his again.

Almost one year. And many more to come, Minnie prayed silently as she let herself give into the kiss, drowning in the love flowing through their bodies.

Mimiwon👀👀

Taglist: @shrynkk @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe ( @alixnsuperstxr ) @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms

How are we after the comeback? Everyone still here? Currently posting this in a trance from the mv🥹

[claireunoia]

OSCAR-WORTHY ➪ TIMOTHEÉ CHALAMET

⊱✿⊰ synopsis : you’re a whore over timotheé’s oscars outfit ♡.

⊱✿⊰ pairings : tim x fem!reader

⊱✿⊰ word count : 780

⊱✿⊰ warnings : SMUT, established relationship, p in v, praising, dirty talking, language, a bit descriptive, um that’s it? nothing too major!

❥ ─ author’s letter to you : hi bby’s!! so literally me and my moots had a whole meltdown on my blog over this man and it came down to me making a fic or i should say drabble about it to feed them so you know i had too. love y’all hope you enjoy!! special tags > @ameliasbitvh @mendesxruel @stylesmygucci @diorsitgirl <333

☁︎ masterlist | navigation ☁︎

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆

➙ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 atmosphere of the large hotel room was unbearably suffocating, but to you the huge space felt oh so small around you as your face was planted so far down onto the mattress of the hotel’s bed you're sure your becoming apart of it.

there you lay completely naked and riddled with your beautiful dress you were once wearing at the oscars event which was held just a few hours ago. but your prepossessing lover still had on that heart stopping, enchanting blazer that was still open and displaying the tense deliciousness of his pecs.

the dress pants that fitted around his waist so well which completed the dazzling outfit was just ever so slightly pulled down just enough to where his center was free enough to currently pound into you lazily but just so tantalizing all at once and you're sure it was killing you.

it was something so perfect about the way timotheé saw how your once flawless makeup was now ruined and practically running down your face as he fucked into you.

the little smiles and chuckles uncontrollably leaving him every time he hears the muffling sounds of your moans find its way into the air. his veiny hands gripping at your hips tightly as he kept snapping his hips deeply and slowly against you. it was like a wicked, fever daze.

“shh baby, you can’t be loud okay?” he softly coos in a whisper as he begins to lean down to place sweet, loving kisses at the exposed skin of your back. traveling up and up until he reaches the comforting column of your neck.

staying just there for a moment, his senses taking in the faint pleasant scent of the expensive perfume you had sprayed on yourself earlier right before the event. all the while keeping up his movements, the feeling of your walls gripping him so tight made him unable to keep his own sounds in. a few curse words and small groans escaped him.

“i c-cant, it feels so good” you whimpered breathlessly to timotheé who just shakes his head ever so slightly, his soft mop of defined curls tickling you as you felt him pepper wet, slothful kisses right at your pulse point.

“you can, you can stay quiet for me, pretty. you're such a good girl i know you can do it” the encouraging words sounded so delightful coming out of his mouth and right over your ears. the sound of his beautiful accent low and gravely but still soft and light. that exact tone you always adored so much.

you nodded leisurely at his words which earned you the addictive sight of your boyfriend's teeth coming on display, his enchanting almost emerald-like eyes passionately boring into your shiny ones.

“you’re so fuckin’ perfect, baby. can never get enough of you” timotheé grunts, hips stopping momentarily so he could pull out of you. the sudden feeling of your walls being empty quickly made you whine which tim hurried to hush.

“shh babe, turn around”

you obliged to his instructions with a quick nod and flipped around just like he had asked. only to mewl loudly at the stunning sight of your man. from his perfectly disheveled hair, to the long silver chain that hangs off his slightly sweaty neck, to the array of silver rings that adored his long slender fingers, all of it. everything about him in this moment was so fucking compelling. something else that made you unconsciously squirm was just how exposed your body was and how your lovers was nothing of the sort. his body consisting expensive clothing still while yours was consisting skin, a view which he loves just so, so much.

timotheé eyes shot up just to see how unfocused you look, a wide smirk playing at his lips as he gripped your twitching thighs before lifting and bringing them up to your chest. his fingers coming up to his mouth to collect some spit, making sure to maintain intense eye contact during the entire time. he then rubbed the new wetness onto your puffy clit and through your spent folds. moving back up to give your sensitive nub to inflict some small pats and rubs.

“what is it, beautiful girl?” he grins, already knowing just how good he looked in your eyes. he always does.

“i— you, mm, you look so-“ you could barely get the words out as your boyfriend started to work the tip of his shaft over your folds repeatedly. rubbing in your slick with the head, making sure to pay extra attention to your button of nerves.

it’s okay though, because tim interrupted your impending sentence with a light tsk. finally pushing himself inside of you once more before his body immediately raised up closer to your face. unable to contained his low chuckles as he saw how his chain kept hitting your agape lips.

“hush doll, i know”

-

*follow my library account @rileybinaalibrary & turn on notifications to know whenever i post a fic <3*

[cynettic]

Stay with Me pt.3

Summary - You manage to escape from Scaramouche, if only for a moment before you realize there’s no escape. It only takes until you’re sitting back in your regular spot that you know what you need to do.

Pairings - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Suggestive content, mentions of death, swearing, slight gore / blood 

A/N - Its really hard to make this depressing while I’m vibing to Rasputin. Like no joke- I have it on one of the 1 hour playlists :D

Here you’ll find -  pt.1 and pt.2

He’d left a key.

Scaramouche didnt make mistakes, not while he had you captive in the vicinity of his bedroom. He didnt have room for mistakes, not when you were watching his every movement while he was in your line of sight. 

Sure, he mightve killed a person or two in front of you, but those were necessary mistakes. There was a sign on the door, it specified not to enter. You’d understand that, right?

Thats what he thought at least, lulling himself into belief after belief that you’d be there waiting for him every time. That you’d welcome him with open arms, even if there were chains ensnaring your wrists. That you’d accept your fate at his hands and submit yourself to him.

The Balladeer was a fool.

He’d kept you there for too long, and while you searched for an easy way to escape, time sent your head spinning. Into a spiral that begged only for the wind against your face, back laying on dirt with the familiar chirping up birds waking you up in the morning.

You wanted to go outside.

And when push comes to shove, you had to risk a little more to make it happen. Lure him into bed with kisses while your hands unbuttoned his vest. But what he believed to be alluring contacts was just your way of finding the keys hidden in the back pocket of his shorts.

It wasnt hard to find the one to your cuffs while he was asleep, cuddled in your chest with both arms around your waist as if to get you to stay put. You took the key, hiding them back in his clothing and hoping he didnt notice.

He didnt say anything the next day.

You werent going to wait any longer.

“Oh for fucks sake, why won't the goddamn door open?”

The room was left in tatters behind you, a little gift for Scaramouche once he got back. Turns out a pair of chains can smash up a lot of things, and rage can be used as a great source of strength when contained for such a long time.

But you’d done more than throw the blankets around, cut up the drawers and smash open the windows. Because your fists had bled red when you punched through the glass, puncturing your skin. Your knuckles were an ugly red, bruising already.

Ah, Scaramouche deserved a much better gift.

Gruesome as it was, you rubbed your knuckles against the pale walls. Till the blood stopped coming, till there was a nice little message for the boy which you held so dearly to your heart.

‘Balladeer.’

The first time you’d found out about him being a harbinger he’d told you not to call him by that name. You weren’t someone he associated with by work, you were a treasure to him. That’s why you continued to call him as he pleased, although the temptation always arose.

You were no longer his.

Shoving the door with your hand again, palm fiddling with the handle and groaning when it hardly budged. “Stupid,” you grumbled when the knob began to loosen. Backing up, you charged with your shoulder to the door, full force as the momentum broke the hinges. The door fell down with you along with it.

It was expected, you’d been stuck in the room for a long time, and thats considering you’d sat on the ground for decades. Your body was slight numb, muscles sore and unused for so long. 

“You a-arent supposed to leave your room!”

A young man stood in the hallway along with a woman who looked relatively the same age. The two were wearing uniforms, flinching when you stood up from the debris and off the door. “Excuse me?” You asked, voice unnecessarily icy and stern. But you couldnt care less, you were going to get out of this house, damn anyone who stood in your way.

They both continued to shake when you walked towards them, staggering from side to side. The woman stepped up in front of the man, presenting a brave face. “If you leave the mansion, the harbinger will kill us all!”

“Well then I expect you should be on your way then. Actually…” you gestured to the maze of hallways. “You can lead the way.”

“What…?”

Your hand went limp to your side, an exasperated looking momentarily crossing your face before you sighed. “Im not staying trapped in that room, I’m sorry if that ruins your life, but frankly you're not the one stuck in there are you?” You took an extra step just to intimidate them, eyes wide to make the appearance of crazy. “It would be a great help if you showed me where he hid my vision too.”

“We can show you to the door…” The man began, “But the whereabouts of your vision are unknown, he wouldnt tell us something like that.”

A gift bestowed from the gods, a piece to help me thrive with my ambitions and pursue my goals.

Gone.

You really wished you’d taken to clawing out Scaramouche’s face instead, but you’d take what you got. Right now your main priority was getting out of this place, even if it meant leaving a piece of you behind.

“Door.” Your voice was raspy and there was a terrible feeling that crawled up to your throat, but you didnt have time to be emotional. “Show me where the door is… please.”

The conflict in their eyes dissipates by the time they lead you along, mumbling words between themselves. You didnt bother to try eavesdropping, you were so, so tired. You wanted to go home.

Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

It took a few minutes until you were standing in front of a grand door, almost twice the size of you and just as wide. You then began to notice the decorational plants and furniture that filled the empty space, there wasn't an inch of dust. Even though you could tell none of it was used.

“Hurry,” the man warned when you paused. “I dont know when our master is coming back, but if its soon, we’ll all be screwed.”

You couldnt feel your head as you numbly nodded, hand clenching the knob and flinging the set of doors open. “Thank you,” you merely mumbled, taking your first step out of the house in what felt like forever.

The days after that were a blur, the area around Scaramouche’s house were nothing but void. Empty and filled with forests and vast plains. You knew he didnt like people or socializing in general, but to this extent?

Your only option was to run.

Let your feet take you somewhere, anywhere. It was a constant pattern of running and taking breaks, leaning on a tree and gasping in a few breaths before you were again scurrying through the forest. 

And yet you felt better than you’d felt in past months that you’d been stuck with Scaramouche.

Food became any boar you came across, the claws you’d spent so long hiding with Scaramouche coming to unleash a wrath beyond your comprehension. Till the animal was cut to shreds and no meat was left even to eat. You’d slaughtered it, without intention to eat or benefit for it, you’d killed it just to kill.

“I’m sorry,” you’d sobbed into the ground where you’d buried the harmless animal. Forehead pressed into the dirt as you pleaded for forgiveness to whatever archons would accept it. You couldn't even remember what archons you were supposed to pray to. “Forgive me- forgive me…”

But eventually you found your way around to somewhere you knew. Territory of Inazuma where you could find your way back, back home.

Where was home?

You’d been on the run from the vision hunt decree, abandoning your post for the Kitsune Saiguu for such a thing. Even now that you could return without a vision and as no threat under the decree…

You’d sacrificed everything for your vision.

Where were you to go now…?

Rain patted down, the trees providing only a slight cover as stray drops fell into your matted dirty hair. You didnt mind, it hid the tears that slid down your lifeless face, feet taking you into the far meadows of your hometown. Till you plopped down underneath a tree, knees curled to your chest and arms hugging them close. You were crying.

You were home.

____________________

“Awh,” a ginger haired murmured, elbow resting on the cool wood of the tabletop. “Is little Mouchie sad? I heard your kitty cat escaped~”

A death wish, even fatui that idly minded themselves around the bar knew it. Sipping cold drinks and swirling their cups, the soft chatter was nothing but a distraction from the main course of events. That being the smaller Harbinger who sat sulking in his seat, hunched over with a drink in hand. He’d drank far more than what was on the counter, but everytime he finished a glass, he’d smash it on the ground, watching the fragile glass shatter into pieces.

“I dont have a cat,'' was his only response, tone daring Childe to pursue further. To give him a reason to start throwing the glass in his face instead.

And Childe was an idiot when it came to challenging someone.

“No cat?” The rest of the drink in the taller harbinger’s glass was gone when he threw his head back. “Hmmm, I cant think of what else could’ve had you so enraptured in returning home then~!”

Scaramouche didnt respond, uneven bangs shadowing the bags under his eyes. “Stronger,” he said instead, elbow on the counter and hand outstretched for something. When there was no movement from the man managing the wine, the harbinger looked up. “I need something stronger to drink,” he repeated, voice seething.

“Of c-course!”

The glass was nestled in Scaramouche’s palm in no time, fingers curling around the circular form to down it in seconds. The drink merely slid down his throat in one movement, alcohol burning his senses. It didn’t matter, he was numbed by the growing rage inside of him.

Finally, he turned to the ginger haired boy, eyes hazily dancing along the counter till it reached his fingertips. Up his hand and along his arm, till Scaramouche was staring right into Childe’s eyes. “They escaped,” he admitted softly. “But it’s alright, because I sent something that’ll bring them back.”

Childe paused, raising his drink up away from his lips to pose a question. Hesitation danced along his features before he brought the glass back, he’d rather not provoke the shorter male any further. Wasn’t like he could interfere anyway.

____________________

“That… that…” 

It was preposterous, having returned to that same spot for a day or two and heading back to the hometown you’d once lived in. The one Scaramouche had lived in. There shouldn’t have been an issue, you were solely gathering supplies for the sake of it, ambition driving you to travel far far away.

Out of Inazuma.

It was your new beginning, convincing yourself that you didn't need a vision. Finding some sort of purpose before Scaramouche shattered the vision and your life along with it. You’d seen how people had reacted when it had been ingrained in the statue, neutralized and broken. They lost hope, purpose and aspirations for anything new.

It’s not like the Raiden Shogun took my vision.

But you’d taken that fact for granted, expecting some sort of new start without Scaramouche. A victory, getting away from him just for a split second and getting out of Inazuma altogether, you’d never see him again.

Until you got his message.

“How the hell…” You crushed the note until it was just crumbled paper in your hand, slowly leaning on the stone wall. “Piece of shit… what kind of person even…” 

Not only did he manage to find you, but without making his presence known, he’d tugged at your one weakness with an ease that had you down on your knees.

You threw the paper to the ground, deliberate as you stared past the alleyway. Pensive as you considered your options. Damn, what options did you even have? You’d been an idiot to underestimate Scaramouche, he wasn’t a child, you knew that… but archons he seemed like one when he was with you. Shown you a vulnerability he wanted only you to see. But maybe that had been part of his plan all along, until all you believed was his soft demeanor.

He may act like a child, but he’s a harbinger.

You stared down at the crumbled piece of paper in disgust.

Not only that, but he has no regard for human life.

Either way, you’d lived decades more than him. You could face him, you would present yourself to him just as he expected you to. Even when everything in you rejected the idea, sobbed at the thought of returning to that house, those chains. Being locked up and confined only for the purpose of coddling a small boy, a selfish boy, a cruel boy. 

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You’d figure out a way, and this time you wouldn’t rule out the option of his death.

———————

Oh darling Y/n, how have you been?

I hope this letter reaches you rather soon, we both have much to discuss, no? About me, about you, and much more. You see, I’ve taken up quite a distaste to your little friends. Stone statues in Inazuma as small as Kitsunes truly hold no purpose, what will they do, come back to life? Haha, I should think not. I’ve already arranged to have them demolished, who knows what kind of material they might possess. Ah, and of course I’d show you the finishing product, unless you’re willing to come and have a chat with me once more? Under the Sakura tree like we used to, you’ve waited years, I believe you can wait for me?

I hope this letter reaches you in best interests. I’m always looking out for you after all.

Sincerely, your Balladeer

——————

It was raining.

Beautiful weather as you lay sitting there, feet crossed and tucked in the same you’d often do. After all, there was no need to fear the vision hunt decree or the Raiden Shogun. Let them come, let them take care of you before Scaramouche did.

You werent cold, not when the cold drops dampened your clothing, slipping down the length of your spine and drenching your face. Despite having lived in a luxury residency for such a long time, this was where you were most comfortable, enduring whatever the weather had for you, taking it with a smile. Because you were waiting…

The Kitsune Saiguu was a distant memory.

You were waiting for Scaramouche, the young boy that often bound into the field in lengthy strides, childlike wonder in his eyes. The one who’d cried when the other kids pushed him away, the one that just wanted to be praised. You’d held him in your arms, and now, even knowing the results, you wouldnt have done differently.

He was just a boy.

Just a boy when he joined the fatui, looking for praise that he was given. He created chaos and bellowed orders with a cruelty that was highly looked upon. Told that he was doing well, so he continued to do so.

He’s just a boy.

You wished you’d held him in your arms, if not only for a tad longer. Shield him away from the wrongness of the world, if only for one last time.

Banishing away your hatred for him was hard.

But you found it under the tree, rain soon dimming down to a clouded cold breeze that swept through the meadow. You’d hated him while stuck in the mansion, but you could now see it from a larger point of view. What he did was wrong of course, but you could remember him so vividly now. His small form giggling, tiny arms around your neck. 

“Play with me!”

Was it your fault?

For not holding him tighter? For trying to rectify his bad doings and teach him what was wrong and right? Maybe if your grip was firmer, if you’d spoken to him about the warmth he’d given you that day when playing cards...

“Lazy ass.”

Burying down that pile of worry and insecurities, you took a deep breath in to relax. The edge of your lip perked up, only slightly. “Still terrible with your social skills arent you?”

Slowly securing a dry space under the three with you, Scaramouche sat down. His features were the same ones you’d grown accustomed to at his mansion. Rich clothes, sharp eyes, and the baby face that refused to go away. His movements were soft as he pulled out a deck of cards. The two of you didnt speak as he distributed them between you both. It was tense… no, it felt too much like the warmth form long ago to be tense. You only wished the situation to be different.

“I love you.”

But you could only offer a bitter smile to his words. “I love my vision,” you replied. “I love the Kitsune Saiguu, and I love my friends.”

His touch was gentle when his fingers came to gently cradle your cheek. Holding your face dearly as he peered into your eyes, his were soft. Different from the cruelty he held within, the hatred that burned and destruction that seeked to explode.

You saw a little boy.

Your hand came to press his hand further against your cheek, till you slid his palm to your lips. He appeared so calm when you pressed the first kiss, lips tracing the lines along his palm with all the care in the world.

But you needed to change your view, see him as the man he now was. As the man he had become.

“I love you,” he repeated, and you let go of his hand. It fell limp by his side, cards all but forgotten. There was a much more pressing matter at hand, because you truly needed to see him as he was.

It was necessary if you planned to kill him.

[itsdanii]

hii i just read all of your masterlist and i loved it kdjzjsj. Could i request a scenario where Asahi has been working long hours and never gets to see his wife. And his wife is secretly pregnant :o so they get into a scrabble and all is revealed but happy ending coz i cant do sad ending ny heart might shatter

Baby Daddy

hey, bub. thank you so much for requesting! here's an asahi angst to fluff with a pregnant wife. i hope you like it ❤️ stay healthy and hydrated!

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: mentions of nausea, mentions of monthly period, suggestive content

ft. asahi azumane

reminder 1: lashing out on your wife is not a good practice, especially if you're unaware that the said wife is carrying your child inside her womb

reminder 2: never slam the door shut on your wife

With shaky hands, you stared at the pregnancy test you were holding. Tears of happiness were streaming down your cheeks as you took in the two lines signifying that you are indeed pregnant.

You've been feeling nauseous these past few weeks and the moment you noticed that you skipped your monthly period, you immediately bought a pregnancy test to confirm your suspicions.

And so, there you are, now holding the positive test as you let the feeling of hope and happiness embrace your being. You smiled and reached down to place your free hand on your nonprominent baby bump. Sure, it was too small to be noticeable yet but the fact that you knew that there's a life forming inside you made you happier than you could've ever expected.

"Hi, baby. I know you can't hear mommy yet, but I want you to know that she already loves you very much," you whispered while rubbing small circles on your skin.

Once you finally calmed yourself down from the exciting news, you took a shower and put on some presentable clothes, the red silk of the dress you're wearing shaping your body perfectly.

You stared at yourself on the mirror and smiled in satisfaction. Despite how the dress accentuated your curves, it wasn't too tight to suffocate your lower belly. You put on some light make up and kissed your wedding ring as you finished.

The next thing you did was proceed to the kitchen to prepare some fancy dinner for both you and your husband, giving the table a finishing touch with a bottle of wine for Asahi.

You glanced at the clock and noticed that it was already 9 in the evening yet your husband was still out. You decided to send him a message but only frowned when you received no reply. Sighing, you instinctively placed your hand on your lower belly as you felt a sudden distress.

What if he didn't want the baby?

What if he leaves you?

What if he realizes that he no longer loves you?

What if-

The sound of door opening interrupted you from your thoughts and you immediately stood up to welcome your husband.

Lately, Asahi had been coming home late, always overworking himself to the point of exhaustion. To be honest, you were seriously starting to get worried but everytime you tried to confront him, he would only grunt at you and head to sleep.

You made your way to Asahi and helped him with the stuff that he was carrying, making sure that you only took the light stuff in your arms. "Welcome home, love," you said affectionately and pressed a lingering kiss on his lips.

Unlike the usual, Asahi didn't wrap his arm around your waist nor buried his face on the crook of your neck. You frowned at the lack of affection but decided to let it pass.

"What's the occasion?" he asked, finally taking notice of the food you prepared. The smell of steak was still lingering in the air and despite how it slightly made you feel lightheaded, you held it in knowing how much Asahi loved it everytime you cook steak.

"Nothing," you said as you placed some of his stuff down. "I just wanted to make you some nice dinner since we haven't been spending that much time lately."

Instead of answering, he only sighed and flashed you an apologetic smile. He made his way to his seat and waited for you before eating.

Silence enveloped the two of you and you can't help but feel your palms starting to get sweaty. The way he seemed to rush his food made you feel as if he was only eating as to not offend you. As you were about to speak, he downed his glass of wine in one go before standing up.

"I'm finished. I'll go ahead to bed, okay?" your husband said as he placed a kiss on top of your head, the sweet gesture doing nothing to soothe the negative feeling bubbling inside you.

You stood up and wrapped your arms around him from the back, hands gripping each other to lock him to your embrace. "Love, I missed you," you murmured against his back.

"Y/n, I don't have time for this. I'm tired, okay?" Asahi tried to uncoil your arms around him and groaned when you won't let him.

"Don't want to let go yet. I know that if I do, you'll go to bed again and when I wake up, you'll be gone. Can't I have even just a little bit of your time?" Your voice almost cracked at the end as the toll of his absences finally made its way to you.

He applied a little force to remove your arms before turning around to face you, a deep scowl now present on his face as he stared down at you. "Time? You want time? I'm sorry if I don't give you enough. Unlike you who just stay at home and do nothing, I have work. I have priorities so I'm sorry if you think that I'm not giving you enough attention. Geez, y/n. I'm your husband, not your damn babysitter."

"You call yourself a husband when you can't even prioritize your own wife?" you spat angrily at him.

You knew that you offended him by the way his jaw clenched yet you stood your ground because you knew that the problem wouldn't be resolved unless you confronted it head on.

"I wasn't aware that it's a wife's job to nag at her husband nonstop," he spat back. "Stop being childish and maybe then you'll do something productive and not just spending your time sitting pretty."

Asahi didn't let you speak and opted on turning his back on you. Within a few seconds, you were left alone as the door of your bedroom slammed shut.

You felt your blood run cold as you stared at the door in front of you. "I'm sorry," you whispered, not to yourself nor to your husband but to your baby.

Quietly, you began to clean up the table and wash the dishes. You groaned as you felt an upcoming headache starting to form, no doubt due to the stress you're currently experiencing.

You dried your hands and turned off the lights before making your way to the guest room. Your husband basically slammed the door on you which means that he didn't want you to disturb him, right? So if it's space that he wants, it's space that he'll get.

You curled yourself against the bed, the empty space beside you making you feel lonely. You were used to sleeping beside Asahi. Despite him always coming home late, you never missed the feel of him pressing apologetic kisses on your skin.

It wasn't long until a sob escaped your lips. Your fingers gripped the pillow beside you tightly as you burried your face against the soft cotton, silently wishing that it was your husband you're embracing instead of the white material.

Unbeknownst to you, Asahi was just as distressed as you were.

He couldn't stop himself from tossing and turning as he anxiously waited for you to open the door and fit yourself in his arms. He didn't mean to slam the door at you. He only applied a bit of force not knowing that the impact would be that much.

God, he didn't even want to fight you.

But the feeling of stress and exhaustion from his work along with the expectations of people made him irritable which then resulted to him snapping at you.

Not being able to resist you anymore, Asahi swallowed his pride and made his way to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water to wake himself up before he talks to you.

But he guessed that the cold water was no longer needed.

Because there sitting on top of the toilet seat are two pregnancy tests with both positive results. He carefully picked up one of the tests and stared at it with shock evident on his face.

You're pregnant.

You're carrying his unborn child and he just shouted at you, called you childish and disregarded your feelings.

Instant regret made its way to him and he felt his heart rate picking up. "Shit," Asahi whispered to himself as he paced left and right inside the bathroom, hands gripping the pregnancy tests tightly.

Asahi quickly made his way to the living room, eyes widening in fear upon seeing you nowhere. He surveryed the whole house while calling out for your name and only stopped when he saw your curled up form inside one of the guest rooms.

He sighed in relief and made his way to you, gently scooping you in his arms to carry you back to your shared bedroom. He removed the few stray hair from your face and placed a small kiss on your forehead and both of your swollen eyes, obviously the result of crying.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered as he showered your skin with kisses.

"Azumane," you called out with a raspy voice as you woke up from the light feeling of lips trailing on your skin.

Your husband stopped what he was doing and looked at you. "You're pregnant." It wasn't a question, no. It was a statement, one that was enough to bring tears into your eyes.

"I am," you said with a nod and took his hand, placing it on the spot where your bump will soon make its appearance.

Despite being cover by the dress you're wearing, he leaned down and kissed your lower belly lovingly. Pulling away, Asahi shifted himself to lay beside you, his hand reaching for yours to bring it to his lips.

"Im so sorry for what happened earlier," he whispered. He took your lack of response as a signal to continue speaking, one hand sliding around your waist to pull you closer to him.

"Im sorry for shouting at you and for neglecting my job as a husband. I was too focused on proving myself to my co-workers that I forgot the person waiting for me at home." He let go of your hand and wiped your tears with his thumb, his hand cupping your face as you leaned to his touch. "Please don't cry, my love. You know I hate seeing you cry."

"It's your fault," you mumbled with a shaky voice. "It's just... It's so unfair that I'm your wife but I still have to ask for your time and attention when in reality, you should be the one to give those to me without me asking."

"I know. I know, love." Guilt and regret were evident in his voice and the more Asahi watch you let everything out, the more he hated himself for being a bad husband. "But I promise you it won't happen again. I'll be a better husband and the best father to our child. So please..."

You nodded and buried your face to his chest, his scent helping you calm down as you cried everything out. Your hand gripped the back of his shirt tightly as you sobbed in his arms, warmth enveloping you as he rubbed your back soothingly.

"You're okay, we're okay," Asahi whispered, pressing a kiss on top of your head as he held you without any intent of letting you go. "We're okay, right?"

You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks. "We're okay," you said reassuringly.

After a few minutes of enjoying each other's embrace, Asahi slowly pulled away. A whine escaped your lips making him chuckle slightly.

"You dressed up for me?" he asked as he raked his eyes down your figure.

"I wanted to look good for you," you said shyly. "I haven't got the chance to change since you basically slammed the door on me."

"I already apologized with words." Asahi gave your lips a peck before settling himself between your legs, eyes looking up at you as he slowly hiked your dress up, a gasp escaping your lips as his fingertips grazed your thighs.

"Now let me apologize with my actions."

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

question: do you prefer the plain divider or this pink one?

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 5

a/n: we ltr going at 5 parts and i have another part written out and im just drowning in love with these seijoh asks

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request:

Can i ask for cute moments between manager and the boys outside of school, like how she and kyoutani probably bump into each to go feed strays etc??

yes anon!!!!!! these moments made me so soft™

IM CACKLING LIKE BLS THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE ENTIRE STAGE PLAY BC HE PLAYS OIKS SO WELL AND IWA IS JUST SO IWA AND I LIVED FOR OIKS’ ‘IWA-CHAN!’ AND IWA’S ‘RAAAAA!’ AND THIS GIF JUST SHOWS SEIJOH BEING SEIJOH AND HOW THEY WOULD REALLY ACT IF THEY WERE REAL LIKE UGH THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB W THE CASTING

these are the cute little moments and get ready to die of the cuteness

be warned, this isnt a straight plot or no main focus but just bits and pieces of fluff 

keeping up with seijoh episode 3467328937

as mentioned before, they dont really get to hang out a lot w you outside of practice 

youre either too busy taking care of your schoolwork, catsitting for the aizawa’s, or having you time since youve been busy w the boys all week

but there are times where you do have available time to go hang out with the boys

and they know about your schedule so they try to make memories either during practice or after practice

fortunately, kyo lives at the same street as the aizawa’s so he walks you to their house when you have a job 

but sometimes when you are just walking home, you both stop by the convenience store first and find some cat food cans and dog food cans and water 

it was a complete accident when you both found each other standing at the same aisle, holding the same things, with the same intentions, for the same animals

the alleyway where you first met is basically your second home bc thats where your babies live

since you cant exactly take in 5 dogs and 6 cats in your house, you and kyo are taking care of them in that alleyway where you feed them and build them a little shelter with blankets and stuff

this will be explained more in the next manager!seijoh part

after practice, particularly after a really productive one, the guys like to go to the ramen shop near the school to treat themselves after their hardwork

by now, the old lady who owns the shop knows their order by heart and has it ready when you all enter

yall get settled in but you go over to yahaba and snap his wooden chopsticks for him bc he never snaps them properly and ends up breaking them

meanwhile,,

you gather as much napkins as you can and place them beside kindaichi bc he makes such a mess while he eats and you have stand-by wipes for him

you make a special request to add tofu into iwa’s ramen bc the mans loves tofu so much and he still doesnt understand how the lady seems to know this despite him never telling her

your seat is usually next to mattsun bc he doesnt eat all the side dishes up like the others and you can eat some of it too

kyo sit across you and demands you eat at least 2 bowls bc you never seem to eat enough and he gets secretly concerned so he aggressively cares for you

‘kyo-san,,,, im full though’

he ‘glares’ at you

‘what you mean youre full. you didnt even finish the bowl. eat the rest and have another or youre not leaving this table’

pls what

fun fact, oikawa actually has two pairs of glasses and he gave you one in case he forgets to wear his main one and leaves it at home

so he gets to school and he just realizes he forgot his glasses and his contacts were still being shipped so he freaks out and texts you about it

but you always have the case safely tucked in your bag so you wander up to the third year floor and knock on his class door

iwa, who is in the same class as him, glares at the students who stare at you and nudges oikawa who was looking out the window

‘oi, your glasses’

his head snapped to the side and sees your smiling face and the familiar brown box being held out to him

his face scrunches and he launches up his seat and takes you in his arms

‘Y/N-CHAN IS SO RESPONSIBLE! SO NICE! OIKAWA-SENPAI REALLY APPRECIATES YOU!’

‘oikawa-san, please let me go’

you mumbled, embarrassed at his behavior in front of the whole class

once iwa has you safely on the ground, you excuse yourself and go back to class

the class still stared at the door you passed through and iwa had to bark at them to go back to their business

youre like the seijoh and younger version of goddess kiyoko

before kyo got back to the team, you usually walked home by yourself but makki actually accompanies you when he doesnt have errands to run

‘makki-san, i heard theres a sale going on for puffs’

you would mention as you walked and you would look to see his eyes light up and walk faster towards the bakery

‘cmon, y/n-chan. makki-senpai is treating you today!’

he turns into a child, a contrast to his chaotic energy in school, and he runs over to the glass where indeed, there was a sale going on for his puffs

while he was staring at what flavor he wanted, youd go to the cashier and give her your card

‘when that guy with the light brown hair with the blue and white jacket comes up to pay for his cream puffs, charge it to my card, please. whatever you do, dont take his and use mine immediately, please. ill come by later and pick it back up’

the old cashier lady felt true hope and happiness for humanity at your actions and it increased when she saw the shocked look on the boy’s face when she immediately swiped the card when he finished ordering

‘what? i havent paid-’

‘the young lady that came with you already did, young lad. shes a keeper’

he turned red

‘ahaha, no, shes our team manager’

once he finished paying and went outside, he took out his phone and dialed your number to call you

you smiled from the aisle in the convenience store down the street bc you were expecting him to call you

‘hewwo, makki-san’

he shut his eyes at how cute you sounded

‘y/n-chan, senpai wanted to treat you today!’

he whined but you bit your lip, leaving the store after purchasing a drink with the remaining cash you had

‘hmm, but i did too. you just werent too fast, senpaiiii~’

you teased and he let out a breathy laugh

‘next time i’ll be faster! mark my words!’

‘then im looking forward to it, senpai~!’

did anyone notice that he is the first one she called senpai?

to our baby yahaba

we know how he literally tried to go after yachi in that one episode so you know how flirty he is

but youve made it clear that you reject his advances and he pouts and finally accepts it so he stops it, instead actually just caring for you

ya know how he cares for the others and cheers them on?

he does the same to you

our babie notices that you are so busy taking care of the others that you forget to take care of yourself

like that time they lost to shiratorizawa, you made bentos for them all week to cheer them up

but he saw you not even eating and realizes that you were busy making the food that they like, each different to accomodate to their taste, that you had no time to make your own

he went down to your class and noticed you missing and he asks kindaichi and kunimi and they said that you said you wanted to get fresh air

since he pays attention to you, he knows you like to go to the roof to breathe

he ventures up the stairs and when he opens the door, he notices you just staring up at the sky, sitting down on the floor

‘being in an empty place like the roof doesnt compare to how lonely Pluto must feel to be outcasted in the solar system’

your comment catches him off-guard but he regains composure and makes his way to you before sitting down next to your form

‘hmm, oikawa-senpai talked to me about space one time. he mentioned the vast possibilities that stays hidden in the shadows’

you and him turn your head at the same time and share a gentle smile

‘but its up to us to find those secrets and abilities’

you finished

he nodded and went back to look at the clouds that looked like they were slowly moving but it was really the earth turning

‘i want to be a sports instructor. i want to be able to help others,,, i want to help them find those abilities and perfect them so they could fully love playing’

a chuckle escaped you and you tightened your arms around your knees, following his gaze to the blob of white that was painted on to the blue canvas

‘let other people be your universe, baba-senpai. dont let them be like Pluto. take time to find out who they are so they dont feel so lonely, okay?’

yall im tearing up right now though

as mentioned at the first part of this series, you go to the gym very early to set up for morning practice

sometimes, the four third years arrive at the same time but sometimes, only iwa comes

you noticed him put his bag down and help you with the nets before pushing the cart to finish the task for the morning

‘thank you, iwa-san!’

you thanked and he ruffled your hair

‘can you actually help me with my workout?’

you nodded and you knew his routine by now

as he got in position for a push up, you gently sat down on his back so he could start pushing up

you sat cross-legged and you counted every push up and held a timer so he could beat his previous record of 100 push ups in under 5 minutes

IWA IS LITERALLY ON ANOTHER LEVEL

once he hit 100, he collapsed on the floor and you stopped the timer at 4 minutes and 48 seconds

‘good job, iwa-san! new record!’

you cheered and he grumbled on the floor

you gently turned him over so he could lay on his back

he closed his eyes from the bright light of the gym and he raised his arms as his hands made a grabbing motion

‘hug. i want hug’

he whined and you fake gasped at this

‘iwa-san, i didnt know you could be so whiny’

‘huuggg~’

in my series, its canon that iwa is actually a whiny little babie despite that tough exterior and hes much more whinier than oikawa

you laughed before surrending, mumbling ‘yes, yes’

this wasnt the first time this happened since he asked you to do this before bc hes a touch starved babie and as a manager, you must give your team love

you climbed on him and laid your head on his chest while he mumbles happily with his arms going around you

‘just five minutes’

you offered and he said ‘mhm’

well, you both fell asleep and were woken up by scandalized and jealous yells from oikawa

to our baby libero watari

watari is actually the only player who has been to your house before

you made an off-handed comment of making bentos for the team again and he offered to come and help you make them

so here he was, standing in your kitchen, as you were cooking with him

you were chopping up vegetables and he was waiting for the eggs to boil so he was just stirring it slightly

‘wata-san, can you give me a bowl from the cabinet above you?’

he nodded and gave it to you so you could place the chopped carrots and onions in it

once the timer was done, he scooped out the eggs and placed them into an ice bowl so he could peel them later

you knew his favorite food was boiled eggs so you wanted to boil some so he could snack on them

‘can you peel one and see if theyre perfectly cooked, wata-san?’

his fingers skillfully rolled the egg on the table before peeling it effortlessly

he hummed as he chewed on the food

‘delicious?’

you asked and he turned to you, cheeks still full but he raised a thumbs up

you grinned and went back to chopping the scallions

‘actually, i didnt need any eggs for the dishes. i wanted you to snack on your favorites as i cook. its like payment for keeping me company’

his eyes shone and he hurriedly went to hug you tightly

‘i really appreciate everything youve done for us, for me. but i just want you to keep smiling okay? i know we’re a handful and we can get out of hand sometimes but you always keep us together. you must be stressed and there must be times you get angry with us and must’ve cried because of us but i hope you’ll still stay with us even through all that’

WATARI YOU MAKING ME C R Y 

lmao kindaichi’s made me laugh

so basically, we all know his famous haircut, right

but what if that was actually just a style hes had since he was young but he has naturally down hair?

the stuff he puts in it like this brand of gel is just so tough and sturdy that two washes of hair is the only thing that can get rid of it

even during practice when hes sweating the atlantic ocean, it somehow stays up

he puts gel on it and stuff after he showers to make it stick up and BOOM turnip head

but one morning, he,,,, wasnt turnip head

the boy woke up late and he didnt have time to perfect the sticking up so he went to school with his hair down and everything

you were already there since morning practice has started and kunimi told you that kindaichi texted him he would be late so you were just patiently waiting by the door for your classmate

but some guy just walked in

your eyes widened and you pulled their arm

‘um, this is for seijoh volley-’

then the words died in your mouth

‘yuu-kun,,,’

you stuttered and he placed his hands on his face to hide away

‘dont look y/n-chan!’

his shout attracted the others and then silence before the laughing and howling started

‘THESE FIRST YEARS I SWEAR!’

makki was on the floor, punching it as he laughed

kindaichi turned red and he was about to run out but you held on to him

‘i can fix it for you, yuu-kun. come with me?’

he nodded immediately and hurried away towards the back where the sun was just starting to rise

you rummaged through your gym bag and found the specific gel brand he uses 

kindaichi was SHOOK bc why the hell did you have it?

you noticed his shocked and confused look

‘i knew this would happen. we’ve facetimed before, remember? just in case this would happen, i brought backup’

his eyes glistened with tears of gratitude but you waved it away and started attempting to fix his hair

tbh you dont know why he did this hairstyle because his hair was really soft and nice and he still looked attractive either way

moving on to kunimi babie

lets face it, he probably doesnt sleep at all at night and he suffers from insomnia

and when he cant sleep, he bothers his friends

but he doesnt bother you though

which makes you sad bc you thought you made it clear that he could come to you if he was in need of something

you only found out after kindaichi accidentally blurted out during morning practice of how tired he is bc kunimi wouldnt stop talking to him at 2 in the morning

‘aki,,, you could’ve called me’

you gently said and kunimi scrunched his nose at how sad you sounded

‘you need your sleep, y/n’

‘but i want you to sleep too’

‘kindaichi’s been my contact since i was like 5 so-’

‘so you dont need me?’

your eyes watered and kunimi jumped, frantically fussing over you

‘okay, okay, y/n, okay. ill call you’

then as if they were never there, you cheered up and bounced happily

‘i’m expecting it, aki-kun!’

but at 1:43 in the morning, his finger hovered over the call button on your contact since he really didnt want to bother you

but he could already hear your whines in the morning

‘aki?’

he cursed when he heard your groggy voice

‘sorry y/n, ill hang up-’

‘no!’

you sat up, forcing to wake up

‘stay’

you mumbled and he made a sound of agreement

‘not tired?’

you asked

‘no. well, like im tired but i cant sleep, yknow?’

you laid on your bed with your cheeks puffed out, trying to think how to put him to sleep

‘we can just talk, aki’

‘about what?’

‘anything. just,,, talk to me. i want to know your favorite color, your favorite food, everything about you’

:( morning calls really hit different

last one is our mattsun babie

so like, mattsun is a TREE

im like 5′3 and hes like 6′2 so we a whole dwarf next to him

you are always dwarfed whenever you stand next to him and this little shite takes advantage of that and puts his elbow on top of your head

he likes to poke fun at you but you just pout bc you know hes all fun and games

‘hows the weather down there’

‘so mean, mattsun-san’

but his height did give him a special memory with you though

you were both left in the gym to clean up bc everyone had something to do like oiks had to go home bc takeru got sick and iwa also got sick and you just volunteered to clean up and mattsun stayed behind

you were sweeping the floor and you unconsciously started humming as you swept and started swaying a little

mattsun heard you as he pushed the carts and watched as you just swayed and twirled around and he found himself smiling at you

you noticed him stop in front of you and he bowed down, holding out a hand

‘may i take this dance, m’lady’

you laughed

‘what? whats going on?’

he softly held your hand and pulled you to him

‘you were dancing and i wanted to join you’

you nodded and looked up at him, eyes half-lidded

‘stand on my feet, chibi-chan. i can lead while you sing’

it was a random song you heard from the radio earlier but you complied while he moved with your feet on his

you giggled when he would lean down to softly kiss your forehead and shriek when he would unexpectedly dip you down

either way, at 8:34 PM, you and mattsun danced under the gym lights with no witness except you and him

ughh i really want seijoh now

you and the team share individual memories that are more special than the ones with the others bc its where you could actually be upfront with each other

its just a shame that there are 4 third years in the team that would eventually graduate and go their own separate ways after high school, leaving behind their underclassmen

they could just hope that those memories and special moments would remind them of who you were and how special you were to them since at the prime of their youth, you were their first true love

a/n: ngl i didnt expect to finish this so quick but im just in a really soft mood right now and this is to makeup for the fact that my update schedule could start becoming erratic due to my school so i hope you enjoyed this blurb!! and depending on my asks, there could only be one last part to this series unless someone requests for another specific scenario with the manager!!

[muffindaddystyles]

𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐺 & 𝐵𝐸𝐴𝑈𝑇𝐼𝐹𝑈L 

A oneshot of how you two met in the beautiful city of Italy, how Harry finds you an Angel descended from heaven above that took his hand and became his light. Dad!harry full of fluff..oh yeah dad!harry nation lets rise. .Part two of tooth rotting dad harry of it is here too. young and beautiful (II)

It's Saturday night. Harry and you intentionally have no plans but to loaf around in your guys cosy homely space. The candles flames with rośe tranquilness, the intro to movie watched many times together rolling in. Both of you are snuggled onto large body sucking sea-green velvet couch infront of telly.

His daddy long legs nestled atop your hip hooking around your ankle protecting you from falling if possible (moreso the fact he's extremely protective of you in your pregnancy.) His one elbow snaked around your collarbones which are now hiding underneath soft swelling, his sweater pawed arm sheltering around your huge eight months baby bump slender tender fingers tucked underneath your side.

You relaxes into him, back pressed to his tanned chest and with his chin resting atop your hair whenever he rasped out something it bobbed your whole head.

"Yeh' kay, baby? comfy?" He asks you for the hundredth time now caressing and stroking your chin, then earlobes, collarbones to your belly and the list goes on. It's one of his habits that he doesn't realizes himself more as ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒. Harry's love language's physical contact, lots and lots of them. He finds calm in touching you here and there, raking his palms without them knowing their destination. He's cuddly and clingiest when drunk. Although, he has stopped drinking since you both are expecting but the clingy part of him jumped out during this period his only excuses are "wanna stay close to me' three babies." Or "i feel empty when you're even a bit away from me." 

"'M lover, stop worrying." You bring his jaw down with the tip of your pointer finger to kiss his lips gently with a tilt of your chin. He mumbles an anxious "cant." in your mouth running his thumb under the curve of your womb with amiable affection.

You hiss into his mouth when one of your bubba kicks you with ever most force and he pushes away with amused eyes, when he felt the kick against his palm. It's not like it's his first but everything related to his unborn babies muse him to utter excitement and tears of joy.

He shifts a tad resting his a little scruffy cheek against your silken naked bump, you're wearing one of his crotched zinc orange crop top and it bunched up your belly in very much likeness of Harry, he thinks you look so endearingly sexy he could make you use him as many times you want. His ear tucked under the crescent of your chest, "feels like jus' a barrier of skin between us." He bubbles his accent and you smile down at him infectiously. Meanouvering your fingers into his chestnut curls and massaging his scalp that made his eyelids futter into bliss.

There was another visible kick and Harry smoothed down the skin eyes shinning up at you, "a footy champ this one." You sucked your bottom lip trying not break into fits of laughter because from the weight your pelvis muscles has become weak and you end up leaving wet tiny splotches most of the time. First time you had it was two months ago you were fucking embarrassing and couldn't stop crying right after an hour of genuine laugh ofcourse caused by Harry when you guys shopped for babies and he wore that one onesie on his head being all goofy and child of two while expecting two himself.

"How're meh' baby girls. meh' bunnies." He smauched loud wet kisses all over your belly making slobbery snuggly voices to annoy you. You tug at his roots whining loudly because you know the undeniable loving scene of Harry talking to his two daughters will bring you to tears all because of stubborn hormones. Yes, two!

While you weren't even expecting a pregnancy, God said wait for my bumper surprise.

Everyone told your bump looks healthier than normal pregnancies but you ignored it until the day of gender check-up. Harry was ecastatic, fist pumping the air, bouncing with your hands intervined tears bloodshot in his eyelines. So were you...but you had a huge breakdown on the wooden floor of your home's threshold. You were blabbering thousand questions to him, body shaking and fighting to breath.

"I...I can't do this, Harry...too much 's too much." You cried to him that day. But he cradled your face into his calloused palms his temple kissed yours, "ye' can, my sweet girl. we can. wish I could bear one of our baby bunny, it's sad that I cant help ye'. But, it's my promise to be there for you forever and always." He leaned down to kiss you with so much love, more love he was keeping to himself ever since and more more love he can't put into words.

He comes back from your belly to leave a feathery kiss on your lips that makes you yearn for him more and settles back to his previous position, his face shoved into the crook of your neck and he presses kisses to the corner of your lips while your eyes remains glued to telly.

As Sally and Harry bickered in the car you chuckled softly fingers tracing his nose and the mole sheltered under it, "remember how we met?" His breath fanned tickling your cheek heartily when he shook his head with a giddy giggle.

"How could I not? Yeh' were a honey pot and a weepy mess after tha'." He scrunches his nose at you adorably reminiscing the night and series of nights after that.

"It was your fault mister." You twitch your lips turning to his side with his help and his hand sprawled at your back instinctively. "Ye' souvenired t' give a lonely guy like me some company, first." He smiles when you huffed. His beam getting joyously wider when your belly pressed tightly against his's and he kisses your forehead multiple times.

"Who thought that guy escapin' from Gucci's biggest event could be a dad of two girls." You quip playing with his neckline and his chest rumbled with a titter that sent you to cloud nine.

"Not me at all. But, if I could meet him back in time I'll tell him how lucky he's gonna be, how happy he'll be, that he doesn't needs to be a grumpy daddy when he could be a real happy one." His eyes are glassy and you cupped his cheeks placing your lips atop his into a feverish kiss of gentleness.

~𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑠ℎ𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 2015~

Gucci's spring festive on full blossom in the most popular old city of Italy, Milan. It's luxurious in all it's glory. A-list celebrities and world claimed most beautiful models. The hall clattered and shushed with talks, rumours, gossips and greets. Then it's fashion and tailored-fitted clothes, formal gowns. Fake smiles. Cold hearts.

On the long dinning table piled with food that sometimes's too difficult to pronounce Harry sat along with Kendall Jenner. His ex-girlfriend and a friend for now. She talks excitedly with the person infront of her snarling rude remarks here and there. Her hand came squeezing his thigh under the table that startled him from his imaginary world. A world where he's at peace, the luxuries doesn't exist and he's nothing but a normal person.

"Huh, love?" He kinks his brows together fiddling with the napkin in his lap and she gave him a furious pout for not giving her full attention, "I was pointing out how fast-fashion brands are shit." She rolls her eyes. Harry can't believe her bratty arse. He shrugged his thigh with a tad more harshness to get rid of her touch.

"Dunno. No' everyone could afford luxury brands." At this the model infront of them cackled more in her mock and sniffed to be polite in the fake hush of the room. Harry's eyes turned glassy and the jade in the murky to the visible irritation at their behaviour. His expressions dark and unreadable under the very less light.

Quiffing his long hickorey curls back he nibbed at his pointer finger's knuckle only to bend it under his chin afterwards, "'m serious." Kendall sighs loudly at this clearly annoyed by the way he's acting and the model infront of him gave him a 'whatever makes you sleep at night.' look and a shrug of her shoulders in arrogance while eating her steak.

Enough. Harry thinks with a grumble struck in his chest. He rakes the chair back that drew some attention but it drifted to some person sharing their experience and all that shit talk again on the loop.

Harry's guard followed him behind pushing the paparazzi away. Flashes in his eyes. Made up assumptions to his ears and shoved up opinions to his chest. He's sick. From all of this. He wants to shout to no-one in particular but himself, he wants an escape. He wants it with his every bleeding cell.

Then he takes a curt turn with a whiplash of his torso to dark alley beside the building from which he just exited and when he reached the end it was blocked by a brick wall so he jumped with ease to other side, his expensive boots scruffing against the gravel. He gave no care to the guard behind him.

He was in a local less populated street. Wider with the bumpy stones and there were people indeed but nobody paid him heed.

He sat on the concrete bench. Flinging his one leg over another hand gripping near his crotch and with a relieved huge exhale of breath he took his phone out going through it. After, so long he feels like he's a free dove who could breath free escaping from it's cage.

He's broken. Empty and in the rough path of his life. He doesn't know how to cope with it. It makes him fuckin' insane.

There's an ice-cream cart few steps away from where he's sitting alone onto bench. His head snaps at the beautiful giggle bouncing through the tangerine sky. He squints his eyes to get a better look of the group of friends crowding near the cart and licking onto their ice-creams.

Your white cotton dress furled with a wave of zephyr and the loose errand of your hair slipping from your low bun cascading around your face while you gave a belly ache laugh to one of your tall friend bopping his nose at his silliness.

Harry stares at the interaction of young people. They're just like him but looks more happy and youthful then why couldn't he?

His eyes are set on a certain figure and that's you still hidden from him as your friend Mona blocked the sight of your perfect view to Harry nudging your ribs.

"Is that Harry Styles." Jo mutters when his eyes fell over him and then he bashfully hisses, "don't look back! Don't look back. You guys are being too specific." Considering yourself stupid you spinned to have an ethereal sight of Harry sitting all by himself on the cold bench, his carved features glowing with the illumination of his phone screen still unlocked while he got distracted by you people.

"Doesn't feels like he's enjoying himself." Mona quipped taking a large swipe of her cold delight. None of them too interested in his wear abouts.

Call it clićhe but you don't have any thought in your mind before you're asking for an ice-cream cone from the ice-cream man heading towards him with your hands occupied with two.

Harry's breath hitching in his palpalating heart at the complete sight of you, for sore eyes for sure. His nerves jittery and knee bouncing in restlessness as you approaches him with a sweet grin. He takes in your complete look. White flowy dress and nude sandals, loop earrings and the bright red lipstick resembling the blood gush of his heart. 'Less is more' making you appear so beautiful.

Harry's so lost in his own brain wrecking that he forgot where you went but you rounds him from behind flinging your left leg on the other side of bench to sit on it with your legs on either side of it, he again startles getting off-guard hastily turning to face you when you tapped his shoulder.

Licking your own vanilla sweetness you forwarded the cone to him a sweet sheepish smile on your glowing hearty features. His body guard instantly changed his position to stop you but Harry gave him a stink eye accepting your offer shyly. Your cheeks heating even in the mild temperature when his supple fingers brushed yours.

"Thank you." His voice timid wiping the corners of his heart shaped lips but you just shrugged your shoulders leaning back with your hand pressed against the bench, "no problem. you're welcome." Harry gazes at your collarbones prodding from the flimsy fabric of your v-line then he shifted his gaze down to his Gucci loafers telling himself not to be a pervert. It's just you're too delicate that he can't stop admiring.

"I like your suit." You compliments him with glinting eyes and his cheeks flushed with shyness mumbling a "thank you." Under his erratic breath.

His eyes flutters and tummy flips when you bring your hand closer to him taking the sleeve of his jacket tugging at it, "it's too graphic you know...in a good way." He finds it endearing that you were this engulfed in just the design of his suit and when you tilt your chin peering up at him, he feels like his brain stopped functioning. He nods eyes still locked to yours and when he sense some coldness dripping down his thumb he quickly ducks down to lick it off causing his sculpted cheek to stroke against your silken ones in utter gentleness.

You gulp timidly sitting back straighter.

"So...? For what stuff you're here for Harry?" He loves the way his name sounds mellow coming from you. He clears his throat unwinding his long legs to stretch them wide and it nudged yours sending jolts to both of you, "uh, 'm 'ere fo' Gucci event." You beam at this shifting closer to him.

"I like the way it sounds comin' from you." He cackles at this running his fingers to tame his matte curls.

His tense demeanor slipping bringing his shy, timid and goofball ones exposed to you. He's himself surprised that all the built up frustration in his nerves drained away from your presence.

Being an art major and a fashion geek you asks him with ferverishness patting his knee, "what was it like? I've heard it's mesmerising." He chuckles at this. He wanna scoff because a sweet girl like you wouldn't last a second there.

"'S okay. I guess." He elevates his shoulder in bored expression and when the ice-cream swipes at the tip of his nose you giggled bunching forward to his side. He smiles down at you squinting his eyes narrow in an accuse.

"And what yer' here fo'? Wait yeh from here?" You bite the waffled cone chewing it. Words muffling with a full mouth, "having a trip with my University's friends. I live in London though. I really really wanted to see Milan. So, here I'm." You make an innocent childish face raising your arms in air to show him and his heart's soothing to peace with every homely action you'd pull to make him relaxe.

Then there was silence that Harry was unaware how to break. He could hear you talking for an eternity. On the other hand you aren't that akward to make conversations with people. No doubt you're shy, and wants your own space to blossom but this one habit of yours is inseparable.

"You know when back home. An ice-cream man would come daily at midnight in summers. Me and my cousins would climb up his bicycle cart like darn monkeys. Pop our heads inside the freezer and annoy the fuck outta him. God I miss home." There's this un-pointable feeling. That's unfigurative to Harry but it's there; of admiration and of endearment. His heart's at cloud nine caressing itself to the pink cotton candy.

His heart reaches out for you from his ribcages as the homesickness glistered in your irises. You weren't obliged to talk to him, to give him company but you still did beacuse beautiful accidents and coincidence happen in the admist of rushed streets.

Harry parted his lips to talk to you more but he has nothing, his life's not unknown by anyone and the normal scenarios of people entertains him so much.

His head snaps when you grin widely at him throwing the last and best of cone inside your mouth. Your small pretty mouth chewing like a rabbit and Harry wants to have a touch, just some to shush the fire in his stomach.

His head snapping when you yelled to children that were skipping on rope waving to them, "hey kiddos! Wanna have some ice-cream!?" They all left their play of galloping running towards you. Harry looks at you wide eyes eating his last bits away.

"Our hotel gave us a coupon for free ice-creams." You laugh standing up and he wants to catch you by wrist to stop you going away from him but when you squeeze his shoulder leaning to whisper in his ear chills ran down by his spine, "will be right back." He swallows thickly nodding eyes trailing to you as you collects all the little fellas to cart.

He watches you. Is she an Angel? A mirage to help him out of his anxiousness? Or a smoke in his mind that'll disappear soon? He thinks picking on his nails. He's not ready to step out of the calm bubble you created so delicately around him. Only if life could be this easier.

He rolls his eyes playfully sucking his lips inside his mouth when he sees you paying extra for more. He looks back to his body-guard. Maybe you didn't noticed him or cares less but Harry's kinda annoyed that he has to be here in such a happy vulnerable moment of his life.

"Thank you nice lady!" Harry chuckles gleefully when all of the kids thanked her licking onto their sweets. "It's okay kids, be careful before I take them back."

Shaking your head you strides back to Harry coming to stand infront of him. You can fit perfectly between his legs if he opened them wider for you, that desireful thought swooshed through his mind but he shakes it away.

"Thank ye' nice lady." He squeaks in high teasing pitch standing up and your eyes widened when he literally towered you fully. Your height differences funny even you're in heels.

"Not you now." You declared with blushed cheeks. His irirses glinted when you fumbled with the sides of your dress.

"So...this's it?" You ask him peering up at him with such gooeness he could whimper. Shivers running down your body as the weather turned rather more chill.

"This's it.." Harry whispers. He feels what? a lump of wetness in his throat? He's at the brink though.

"Thank you for bearing my monkey ass." You guffawed out but he has serenity in his eyes. He thins his lips. "I should be the one to say thanks."

He was taken aback when you hugged him running soothing circles at his back. He inhales your tangerine vanilla scent embracing you fully now. If he could freeze the time he would in a snap. He feels like he's all the way back home after travelling shallow through the whole world.

"It's gonna be alright, whatever it's Harry. It'll be alright. You're gonna be alright. It gets bumpy but you still have so much for you." Harry wants to cry in some strangers arms. He feels so defeated and tired. But, the determination and affirmation in your voice made him think opposite. He'll do it. He can do it.

He didn't let you go first. You untageled yourself from him gently swaying on your feet, taking a step back and he couldn't blink his eyes away from you as you bit your crimson lip.

You take steps away from him eyes still locked to his jade ones and he calls you out through the breeze looking for passing by cars if possible because you're standing in the middle of street.

"Hey, stranger!!!" You tilt your chin in a questioning and shake your head at his lopsided cheshire smile, "forgot t' tell ye'r name!" He yells out in rushed anticipation and anxiousness as if he'd loose you if any minute ticks by.

Goosebumps appears at your bare legs from the chill, "Y/N. Y/L/N." Then you spin around raising your hand high atop your head waving it for Harry.

"Ba-bye. Harry." You says loudly but it doom vacuumed to emptiness once you step inside your hotel's lobby leaving Harry at his own sake again.

Standing still at his spot. Hands shoved into his trouser's pocket and long spiral curls framing his sculpted features he watches you with a furrow of his brows from the glass of hotel. His frown getting deeper when you threw your head back laughing when you bumped into your friend who was coming to find you, you caught his wrist eyes widening at something funny he said and Harry sighs thinking maybe you're just this kind and generous and that he's not a special case in your book.

With an exhausted sigh he makes his way towards his bodyguard who gives him a side mishevious eye, "happy now, Styles?" Harry jabs a shove to his bulky shoulder playfully lips twitching and eyes narrowing, "oh shut up!" His mood more lightened and gleeful than his previous one thanks to you.

***

Next day when Kendall and her friend dragged Harry to fancy the local streets of Milan. Harry had a less scowling face than before. They stopped infront of some shop to buy bagels that someone bumped right square into Harry's back making him stumble a little.

It's you. Rushing out of a pharmacy. Harry's gaze trails from your toe to head and his lips parts in surprise. The whole past night in his lonely hotel bedroom you were his dream of heart and the stubborn thought of his mind while the thump of after party going downstairs kept him occupied and fainted the erratic pace of his heart. Then his brows kink in worry and concern at the grueling sight of you.

You're in a pink sweater and pyjamas. Eyes glassy. Cheeks flushed and blazing. Nose running and hair poking out in every direction. He takes a gentle step towards your astonished figure brewing fingers reaching out to hold you but when you keeps a distance from him his heart falls in his arse, and when you cough in your elbow he realizes that you're maybe cold or having a fever.

"You okay, love?" He asks you. Voice that of honey and panic dripping from his features. You gives him a big smile bobbing your head quickly and he have an urgency not to roll his eyes at you. Because you don't seem okay from any angle!

"'M just having a tiny cold it's not that worrisome." Harry's eyes pops out from his socket at your voice. It's groggy and hoarse not that sweet warm honey that was fusing in his ears last night. "Y/N. You can barely speak, are you sure you're okay?" You try to give him a small smile at his care but it got suppressed by another throat tearing cough. Poor little thing. Harry fawns looking down at you.

At this he abruptly saturates the distance between you two, "note me' number, darlin'. Promise me you'd call me if you feel too sick." You give a glance to his two friends coming by to stand beside him.

"Hi." You greet them in hoarseness and they wince when you forward your hand for a shake making you feel ashamed and embarrassed of your politeness when they didn't accepted it. Harry jaw ticks in furiousness as he glares them it's all adding up to push his nerves now.

He takes your shivering hand with an arch of his brow to his friends in challenging sterness noting down his phone number at your palm. You give him a soft "okie." and a "thank you." waving him and his friends a good-bye. He notices that you're not someone to hold grudges against someone. He knows that Kendall's behaviour throws people off but you didn't seem to mind it too much.

"Who was she Harry?" Kendall asks him chewing onto her bagel. Harry shrugs not keen to spill any precise details, "someone I met last night."

She tries to scrape more from him. "How?" Harry closes his eyes tugging at his roots not ready to snap at her.

Harry thinks many times to say the right words so that she'd shut up but still ends up saying something that infuriated her ego and mock, "she offered me ice-cream—" Her friend scoffs perking his head.

"Mate you're nuts for accepting something from a stranger." Logically yes. But you meant no harm to him. Your eyes were truthful and shined with sincerity.

Harry stays silent walking inside their hotel. The hostess asks them if they'd like to have a brunch.

On the other hand you climbed up the stairs to your room with a lazy gait. Your lungs burning. Once inside your room. You takes your medicine with a shivering body and minus energy to even raise your finger. You want to cry but you give a pep talk to yourself that you're a brave girl squishing yourself in your bed, hiding under three blankets.

There's bright sun outside but still you're feeling like someone placed you atop Antarctica's glacier snatching every clothing item from you. Your friends are all out and you wish you could have them. You hate being sick and alone.

When you woke up again. You felt horrible. Feeling like a truck crushed you underneath itself. When you tried to sit up, you fell back a reckless painful sob erupting from your lungs as with wavering fingers you massaged your sweaty forehead. The sheets under you drenched into sweat and hotness. Panic rising in your chest as your vision blurred with blackness so you dialed Harry's number immediately in the fear someone should be with you in case you faint.

"He—" He was cut off with your loud crying. The fork in his hand clanking against the sleek plate gaining everyone's attention. "'S okay. 'M comin'. I'll be there in no time love." He speaks hastily telling his bodyguard not to follow him with a gesture of his hand while striding to his car in big steps.

"Y/N. Darlin'? Yeh' there?" He asks you with his chest tightening with anxiety when the other end of line was dead as grave, "'m, i'm." Your breath spurts into coughs and Harry sighs sympathetically at your condition. It took him fifteen minutes to reach your hotel.

"Which room?" None of you noticed that the phone was still on line. You were half conscious cheeks soaked and smashed into silk pillow case. "Room number, sweets?" He asks you patiently running through different floors to take care of you as soon as possible.

"2-234.." You stutter. Harry halts in the middle of corridor snapping his head everywhere your room was three rooms away from him.

"Can yeh' stand up for me and unlock the door for meh? Can yeh do that sweet girl?" Harry's standing at your door and your sob muffles into your arm when you shake your head in denial. Luckily the door was unlocked.

"Stupid girl." Harry mutters under his breath pressing the red button when he finally tumbles inside your room. He wants to scold you for not caring for your safety when you're sick, fragile and barely able to stand up.

His heart grips into a knot when you turn to your side. The girl he was with last night long gone. Your lips blue and wobbling. Cheeks red and wet. Sweat sheening. Your body shaking. You could be barely seen from under the layers of blankets.

"Oh sweet girl. 'm so sorry." The mattress dips under his weight and he hovers over you taking you in his arms instantly. Squeezing you tight and warm, it feels good so you cuddles your face into the crook of his neck. He gasps when his hand glides down your back and finds it pooling with so much sweat, and you burning like sun outside.

"You're burnin' love." He says with wide eyes cautiously smoothing his hand at your back to make you feel better.

"It hurts, Harry." Harry pulls you from your shoulders rolling his thumb in the dips to massage them, "where?" Your chest rumbles with another whimper as you bolt your eyes shut.

"Everywhere."

He inquires further and you give a drowsy moan when he expertly massages your shoulders and arms, "did you take your medicine?" You nod at this head falling against his chest and if he wouldn't be so worried about your condition his tummy would've flipped so hard.

"And did yeh' ate somethin' befo' that?" When you shake your head in rejection he again pulls you back looking down at you in offend and shock.

"Y/N..." He warns you with a tough expression. Then he cups your cheeks making you look at him even though your eyes are closed he scolds you strictly, "Y/N you should be kind to yourself too."

"Now. 'M gonna take ye' to hospital." He announces and you squirm away from his grip shaking your head like a child. You hate hospitals.

"Y/N..don't be difficult darlin'." Only if he knew he has to deal with this his whole life. As you try to speak your words swallows back when he snakes his arms under your armpits making you stand up.

"No buts. Look at ye'. Yer condition will worsen if yeh' keep refusin' to go." With your whole weight over his side he makes you sit in the passenger seat, stroking your cheek with his knuckles giving you a reassuring smile and rounding to his driver side.

He keeps on checking you through the whole drive. You're still high on fever when he places his palm at the curve of your neck then at your forehead tsking when you moaned in pain, "'s gonna be alright." He rubs your knee trying to give you a smile through his own anxiousness.

They checks you in the ER. The doctor notes your symptoms on his notepad and Harry gazes you in full concentration sitting right beside you, he has your fingers laced with his's and he's continuously rubbing your back to provide you with any warmth.

"I've a very low immune system since I had a tonsillectomy when I was nine. Had an ice-cream last night and quite often I know I get sick in this season." You toy with his silver rings carelessly. Harry admires you. Dunno why. He just do. Because he thinks he might be falling for the way you talk, you behave and try to remain polite in every circumstances.

"Miss Y/N since you've your tonsils removed your coping mechanism from bacteias's less and you've caught a pneumonia." Your head immediately turns to look at Harry and when he sees that fear in your eyes he unwinds his hand from yours leaning to take your chin, "hey...hey lovie'. It's okay you'll heal in a week."

The doctor hands the prescription to Harry. The next thing he announces makes you sob like a five years old, "no. no. no." You shake your head shrinking back and Harry gives the doctor a sheepish akward smile stroking your hair.

Doctor sighs at your behaviour leaving at last, "the nurse will be here soon to give you injections."

Harry quickly stands up shutting the large curtain that's around the stretcher bed you both are sitting at as soon as he comes back you wrap your hands around his forearm. He hisses when you dig your nails to his flesh your tears dropping at his wrists.

"I don't like needles. I loathe them. They scare me." You sniffle and Harry ducks to your level metting your glossy gaze. He caress your head kissing your hair, "you're so brave. I know it. It would just be a pinch. Ye' can squeeze the fuck outta my hand if yeh want to." He has his fingers tucked under your earlobes as he again and again wipes your tears.

The nurse comes to you shutting the curtains behind her. She's old lady in age and observes the couple infront of her. Well, for her you both are looking like one.

You immediately move back to Harry's side as he's sitting now with his front infront of you, "scared of needles." Harry tells her timidly in a low voice puffing his cheeks a bit in gentility.

Harry saps his opal teeth into his lower lip when you wrapped your elbow around the nape of his neck bringing him down closer to you and your face shoved to his chest near his armpit. His other arm wrapping around your waist to flush you closer to him. He tries to drift your attention to himself whispering sweet nothings into your ear and the nurse awes applying alcohol where she has to inject the needle.

"'S okay. We're gonna get home after this, have some soup, will take a nap, watch some telly...." He smoothes his hand over your spine grasping it softly. You stiff in his genial hold twitching and hissing loudly when the needle was poked and pushed into your delicate skin. His white shirt's completely soaked into your tears now but he doesn't give two fucks.

"Just two more." The nurse mutters and you perk your head away from Harry's chest looking at her horrified, "two more!?" You squeak out hiccuping and Harry has to suppress his giggle at your expense from how adorable you look.

He again shoves your head back in his armpit muffling your huffing and tantrums. "Don't move darlin' don't wanna get yeh' hurt." His hold tight and firm.

"Hurts." You pout and Harry traces it stopping himself to just lean down and kiss it. Nurse left you guys to yourself and Harry breaths loudly grinning at you, patting his thighs standing up helping you too.

"Thank you, Harry." You crane your neck to see him properly rubbing your nose once Harry makes sure you're sitting in his car comfortably.

"No problem, love." He kisses your cheek making your lips quirk up for the first time.

***

You're sitting crossed legs on the twin sized bed of your hotel room. Harry takes a quick glance of you pouring soup into some bowl. Your temperature a little bit coming back to normal, sweat still there as you rests your head back at the board of bed. You're room's nothing sort of luxurious it's dinky and compact.

"Here love." Harry hands you the soup making sure to be careful that you don't get burnt and you takes it from him with a series of appreciation.

"Feelin' better now?" He asks you rubbing your ankles as you places your feet in his lap. Blowing onto your soup and he does the same shoving spoonful in his mouth.

"Way better. Felt like dying honestly." Harry couldn't imagine how bad your condition was he saw it himself and he gives you a weak smile, his man-bun getting loose now.

"Where are your friends? they should have known that you weren't feeling well."

"They asked me but—" Harry's low voice cut you off. In just a day he got to know what your nature's like.

"But you didn't wanted to spoil their fun." You roll your eyes playfully wiggling your toes in his lap to tickle his tummy but he catches them making you squeal through sore throat.

He giggles when you slurp purposedly attaching your lips to the rim of your bowl. Once you're full he places your medicine in your palm and when you makes an icky face he gives you a stern gaze, "uh-huh. Take 'em."

When you swallow the bitter medicines down with a huge gulp of water he pats your head, "good girl." He puts the glass at nightstand. Caressing your jaw, "wanna take a nap?" You nod.

"W-would you lay down with me, ...'s just my body aches and—" You tried to explain without letting heat to creep at your cheeks. He bobs his head furiously more than okay to fulfil your wish.

Without any word he shifts gently to your side getting rid of the hair band that was trapping his long curls into a bun, squeezing into twin sized bed with you, "sorry." he quips when you hiss at his cold bare feet touching your warm ones.

"It's okay." You smile up at him moving closer to him. Sheets rustling underneath as you rests your head over his sprawled forearm. Your bodies reacting automatically like one of soulmates when your knee nudged his legs and he parted them so that you could place your sore one in between them. You molded into him like a piece of puzzle, that was just meant to fill the part of him that was scraped out because of his fate leaving him shallow and empty.

"Sorry for ruining your day." You mumble into his neck fingers brushing the baby curls at the nape of his neck. He shakes his head running his thumb in circles under your hair that were sticking to your neck, "No, thank you fo' makin' my day better. 'M havin' fun babying you." You titters at this and he sighs. There's calm. Heart beats in sync. Yours was racing moments ago. You're tangled into eachother's embrace and he pulls thin blanket ontop of both of you.

You purr wishing he could be always with you at how he's a walking talking heater, "you're warm." Harry senses come to a pause at the kitten voice you just let out snuggling into him deeper and exhaling the breath he was holding in. He melts into you kissing your forehead and petting your cheeks.

"Sleep sweet girl." His breathing lulls you to deep slumber.

***

It's late in night. Harry squints his eyes to street lights coming from the balcony window. He groans and when pushes his face away from you, a huge lovesick smile dances at his lips. He slept so good after so long. Your warmth and sweet flesh pressed into him made him drift to sleep so quick.

He brushes your loose hair back, adorning every feature of you. Fever making you look more glowy and swelly. Then when he leans to kiss your forehead he hears the quite whimper escaping from your lips.

He places his hand at your neck to check and you're again burning. Sighing he wakes you up by smoothing his hands down your arm, stroking your hair gently and tapping your cheek with his two fingers.

You're murmuring weepily in your sleep. "Wake up y/n. It's time for your second dose." He keeps his voice slow not to startle you and your eyelids fluttered taking it's time to absorb his presence.

You shift back against the headrest. He brings the glass closer to your lips after giving you medicine. One hand on your head other making you sip water.

"W-wanna go home. Home Harry." You say in your breaths hiccuping and Harry feels so helpless. He tries to calm you down in every way possible.

He knows you're not talking about going back to London. Your talking about your actual homeplace. Then it hits him, that you're both missing that feeling. Even though you're bubbly, happy and cheerful girl you still miss home as Harry does too. You're perfect for eachother.

He takes you in his arms bringing you back to bed. You hug him close to your heart tearing in his embrace, soft whimpers in his ears that's a knife to his stomach. He pecks the side of your head multiple times.

"Home." You sniff eyes dropping. Harry messages your scalp. Your body moving up and down as he breaths. Your continuous blabbering of 'home' dulls to your sleeping breath and Harry's own eyes craved for more drowsiness with you.

He bolts his eyes shut when his phone vibrates under him. "What!?" He spats whisper yelling, you still over him. He doesn't want to disturb you by any means. Not when you're sick and went back to sleep with so much difficulty.

"'M not coming." He declares dryly as his manager tries his best to coax him back to whatever place they want him asap.

He throws his phone onto sheets cuddling back into you, letting your scent to consume him fully. His heart prancing at the thought of serenity he'll feel while sleeping else it's just jolts of anxiety.

***

Next morning your arms were holding onto nothing, there's no shoulder on which you were crying earlier. The room's dull and sheets cold. Sun refused to outshine for today it didn't got any emarld to beam at.

"Harry...?" You whisper innocently rubbing sleepiness from your eyes and when the silence laughed back at your face you sigh sadly.

You knew from the very start that his presence was just a mere touch of heaven and it's not his fault that you never got to complete dive into him.

It's just you and your homesick soul staring blankly at the flower wallpaper. His soft, giddy vanilla smell hugging you from every side. Consuming your body and you didn't realized you'll miss him until now.

Maybe, you and your love was contagious to him.

.

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 a 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞!!! Don't forget to give your feedbacks.

[lustbile-archive]

Freak

MarkxReader

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary/Warnings: Based off of Freak by Doja Cat

because Mark listens to doja cat and doja cat put freak on spotify and both of these things did a lot for me personally.

Smut, but also some angst and fluff.

Warning! Switch!Mark and Switch!Reader, jealousy, unhealthy relationship and reactions, reader is kind of dramatic ngl, and like a daddy kink for like 2 seconds. I really just wanted to write a smut based off the song but somewhere along the way it developed a plot. The song also uses ‘girl’ but as per usual this fic does not use gendered pronouns (also I would put a read more on this but I don’t have my laptop so I’m so sorry)

“Is it too tight?” you try not to laugh as you whisper in his ear, your lips brushing against his skin making a shiver wrack his body and his hips cant upwards.

You bite back a whimper when the bulge pressing against the fabric of his jeans bumps into the seat of your underwear, a devious and satisfied grin pulling on his lips before he responds, “just tight enough baby.”

He tugs roughly at the cuffs that lock him to the head of your bed to prove his claim, the dull metal denting his skin. You had only asked to be nice, the irritation that swirled in your belly fed the evil little monster in your mind that screamed, ‘I don’t care about you Mark. I hope it hurts.’

Truly, you never would want to hurt Mark, unless it turned him on obviously, but unintentionally? Never. But where you sat straddling his lap and he laid shirtless and restrained below you, you can’t help but itch in anger and jealousy. A need to make him hurt as much as you wouldn’t admit out loud that he hurt you.

You had met Mark through mutual friends, and it wasn’t too far into the night that you realized you were hooked onto the grinning boy, an evil need to see what he could offer clawing at your skin. You ignored the concerned lingering looks your friends passed you when they noticed your interest, and you definitely ignored your best friend when she tried to discreetly mention that Mark may be a little too soft hearted for your shenanigans, too puppy like to keep up with what you liked to do. You were absolutely giddy as you watched the wide eyed pretty boy laugh and grin at the conversation amount at the group, and you were even giddier when his face flushed a deep red when your eyes met in response to your foot brushing his leg under the table.

Every time your eyes met that night, you’d offer a less than sweet smile. One time even adding a gentle wave of your fingers when you caught him staring. Excitement finally flooded your veins when you motioned to the exit of the small bar your friends had gathered at, and he gulped and nodded in response.

So no, you didn’t listen to your friend, and to hit the nail in the coffin, you drug Mark into the backseat of her car. She had very politely agreed to be the designated driver of the night, and you very nicely returned the favor by stuffing your mouth full of the nice boy she warned you to leave alone while you sat snuggly on his face. The evidence of your terrible listening skills left across both of your chins, and even some drops left on her upholstery.

No one seemed to notice your absence when you crawled back into your seats, or the way Mark wouldn’t stop licking his lips throughout the night. Every time his tongue peaked from between his lips making warmth tingle between your thighs.

Your friend figured it out. Of course she did, when she found your panties stuffed under her passenger seat and a few suspicious dried spots on the seats, and of course she gave you an ear full. ‘Mark is too sweet for this,’ and ‘you can’t play with him like this, he’ll start to feel something.’ Her words only passed over your head. You're an adult, and so is Mark, so it’s not like what you were doing was bad. The disappointment shaking of her head was the only response you got when you told her this, and all she got was a roll of your eyes.

So no, you didn’t leave Mark alone. Far from it actually. You found yourself magnified to his side whenever your friends gathered, childish grins shared between you two at the knowing of what would happen later that night, and you even wormed your way into his life outside of your friend gatherings. His boyish charms, and the warmth he offered brought you back to him every time, and not to mention the way he could use his tongue. Sometimes you two even revisited the back seat setting of your first meeting when your friend shot you one too many warning glares and you wanted to prove a point.

And maybe you shouldn’t have told him that you don’t date. ‘I don’t really do relationships,’ you whispered into the thick air of his room as you lay naked next to him, your head laying on his shoulder as his fingers brush your skin. You ignore the way his chest deflated at your words, assuming it was just his breath relaxing, and instead focus on his acknowledging hum and the quiet, ‘yeah, um.. me neither,’ he mutters. Those words being the last of the night before you fell unconscious, warm and naked in his sheets.

No maybe, you definitely should have never said that. Not when you could already feel the boy clawing out a nest in your heart and building a home. Not when you could feel your body light up whenever you found him amongst the crowd of your friends. Not when you found yourself enjoying the time spent tucked into his side just as much as you enjoyed the time that you were stuffed full of him. But you only realize this when you see him standing with her.

“I don’t see the problem,” you friend brushes off your grumbling question of ‘why is he with her’ with her hand swatting at the air, “it’s not like you were going to date him anyways. All you do is play games.”

You feel your face heat up at her words, anger and a tinge of embarrassment stinging your nerves, “but still,” you dumbly respond, no other words forming from your irritation.

“But still what?” she finally turns to lock her eyes on you, “I told you not to mess with him. Mark Lee is a boyfriend guy. He wants to be in a relationship so bad he can’t stand it.”

“That’s not what he told me,” you bite back, a petulant attitude filling every space inside of you.

“Of course it’s not, what like he’s gonna scare off the best lay of his life by admitting he’s a hopeless romantic?” her eyes go wild as she tries to reason with you, a task she’s not very unfamiliar with, “you might be a great fuck, but you’re also incredibly dense.”

You feel your chest cave at her words. The reality check squeezing your heart in sharp claws. The only small comfort you get is the small smile of pity she offers when you begin to resemble a kicked puppy.

“Just talk to him about it some other time, or if you really want to know what I think, just leave him alone and forget about it,” she puts down her now empty glass to free her hand to pet at your arm, her warmed palms making you melt slightly, “just don’t do anything stupid please.”

But of course you have to do something stupid, if you didn’t it just wouldn’t make sense. So you pull yourself away, a quiet, ‘I’m gonna get a drink,’ falling from you pouting lips as you turn away. An uninvited grin momentarily breaking your moodiness when she swats at your butt in encouragement.

And you do head towards the table covered in drinks, but unfortunately Mark and the mystery girl had moved themselves right into the path you had to take to get there. The smile he offers when your eyes meet feels like a punch to a chest, the small wave and a bubbly ‘hi’ chilling your skin.

If you were a real adult you’d smile, nod, and keep walking. Maybe trying to talk to him in the morning, or taking the advice you’d been handed and just end what you had with him before it got any worse, but you weren’t a real adult. A jealous child that had their favorite toy taken by a sweet girl that didn’t know it had your name scratched into it was hiding in the shell that was your body, and that child started to break your shell when instead your face twisted up in a grimace. You make sure not to let your eyes fall on the girl next to him, she hadn’t done anything and you didn’t want to start something with a stranger, but after a dramatic eye roll, you locked a harsh glare on the boy.

He jerks back as if your stare was a sharp knife digging into his stomach, a flash of confusion and hurt landing on his face. His mouth gapes open to question your attitude, but there’s no time for words to escape him before your turning and heading towards the exit.

It’s as if the room is suddenly filled with dozens of more people than there were before you saw him. Elbows and shoulders hitting you as you move through the ocean of bodies, every contact on your skin sparking your irritation up by a few degrees as you start to get overwhelmed by the activity around you. Being touched felt like a demon was dancing around your shoulders to see how much he could get on your nerves, to see how much he could push you until you made a bad decision.

The cold air that hits you when you get outside turns your stomach, your nails clawing into the railing of the house’s porch in an attempt to calm your breathing and cool the fire burning in your belly.

You wanted to be angry when you heard you name coming from his lips, but the concern in his voice and the warmth of his hand running against your back makes you melt in both happiness that he followed you and shame at how that made you feel.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” he asks and you decide then that you don’t want sympathy. You wanted every other part of him all to yourself and if that wasn’t realistic, then you might as well take what you know you could get.

You turn faster than he expected as he jumps slightly as you move in his arms. Your fingers immediately grab the collar of his shirt to pull him closer, your nose pressing into his as he grabs at your hips to steady himself.

“I need you Mark,” your sudden whiny tone throwing him off from what he had witnessed in the house. You tug on his shirt and pout up at him in a way that, no matter what the situation, has made him give you exactly what you wanted, “please?”

“Um.. yea- yeah okay,” he shakes his head to clear his thoughts, a small smile pulling on his lips, “are you sure? You’re good right?”

“Yeah,” you lie, as you move to press your mouth along his jaw to avoid making any more eye contact, “just need to get fucked real bad.”

The laugh that shakes his chest feels like nails being pressed into your heart.

The drive to your house was used to plot your revenge, and maybe your last time having Mark to yourself. You had pulled him away from someone else tonight, but how many more times could you do that before he decided he didn’t want to be pulled anymore? Your friend had said he was a boyfriend type, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he sees you as someone to date.

And that's how you got where he laid now. You barely gave him time to park before you were jumping out of his car and stomping to your front door. Your quick strides made him have to pick up his pace behind you, only just getting his foot in the door before it slammed in his face.

You only glanced behind you as he locked the door behind him. You voice cold as you walk to your bedroom as you command, “take off your shirt.”

You heard him fumbling behind you as you strip to your underwear and climb onto your bed and once he had walked through the doorway everything was a blur.

Your nails dig harshly into the skin of his chest as you sit up, a small smile pulling on your lips when he whimpers out from the pain. You run your hands up and down the skin of his stomach as you take in his form, trying to memorize every inch below you. You feel your breath deepen as you move over the boy that’s ruled the space of your mind for so long.

“C‘mon sweetheart,” he encourages, your eyes falling shut when his voice wraps around your bones, “do something to me.”

The quickness of your response is almost embarrassing, as you sit back on his hips. Your fingers grip tightly onto his belt when his bulge digs into your core, the rough fabric of his jeans sending you reeling. Your shoulders shift forward and your thighs tense as you begin to slowly rock against him.

You whimper as pleasure runs up your spine, your arousal already beginning to seep into the fabric of your underwear and dampening his jeans as you move desperately on him.

It’s always been this way since the first time you had each other. Your mean attitude melts once you're on top of him, even when he’s locked up the way he is now. Even with the upper hand he’s still made his claim on your heart and you’d do anything to please him. But that doesn’t stop you from loving to watch him squirm.

“Fuck Mark,” your words are raspy as they leave you mixed with a groan. Your hips rapidly rutting against him as your body craves the type of orgasm that only the boy below you has been able to pull from you.

“Move down to my thigh,” he demands, his hips tilting upward to try to get you to move away, “wanna watch you come on my thigh before I'm inside you.”

You shake your head defiantly as your hips start moving in circles, your clit meeting the spot where his tip presses into the fabric and making you tremble and moan.

“Mm fuck,” his hips lift off the bed to match your pace, this and the way his teeth digs into his lip and the fact that he refuses to say the safe word you two agreed on is all you need to keep continuing, “fuck stop I don’t want to come in my pants.”

“Then don’t,” you sneer as you slow your hips to press harder into him. You both moan in the stuffy air that fills the room, the promise of an orgasm finally starting to bite at your skin.

“I can’t stop it when you’re acting like this,” he pleads and swears loudly as you continue your motions. His conflicting emotions of wanting to hold off but also wanting to come so badly showing blatantly on his pretty face, “fuck you’re always so mean when you’re in control.”

“Deal with it, you wouldn’t come back if you didn’t like it,” your words are punctuated with a throaty groan as you start to come. The muscles in your stomach flexes as you clench hard around nothing. Your body shakes as you fall forward, you palms lying flat on his stomach to hold you up as it feels like you’re being ripped at the seams. The static in your brain almost fully blocks out the irritated swearing you hear from below you and loud metallic sound that follows.

You can’t stop the scream you let out when you’re suddenly pressed face down into your sheets, your ass pressed back into his crotch as his harsh fingers curl around your hips. Your body still shakes in aftershocks and makes your head feel like it’s filled with water.

“I told you to move to my thigh,” he voice is rough, but not truly angry as he sits up behind you. He shoves his thigh between your legs to make a point, the friction from his jeans digging into the sensitive skin of your core makes you whimper as he uses his hands to pull you back and forth on the length of his thigh, “why don’t you ever fucking listen to me?”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” you bite back. Your nails claw into the sheets below you as you move with his hands. The pleasure and the pace of everything happening around you melts your brain as you speak before you can stop yourself, “if you didn’t you would have stayed with that girl from the party instead of coming back with me.”

He stops moving once your words reach his ears, his fingers massaging your skin the only part of him that moves as he lets the sentence move through his mind. You cringe at the realization of what you said and at the feeling of his nails scraping your skin as he pulls one hand away.

“Are you by any chance jealous sweetheart?” you hurry your face into the mattress in shame, your ears perking up only when you hear the clicking noise of his belt and the sharp sound of his zipper being pulled down.

You hum into the fabric pressed to your face as you sink further down towards the bed at being caught having feelings like this.

You hear the cracking sound of his hand meeting your skin before you feel it, the dull throbbing pain spreading as the seconds tick. You do feel your body jump in response and more arousal begin to drip from your body.

You loudly whine in protest when his fingers gently wrap around your neck and pull you up to press against his chest, and once your face is placed next to his, he places a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Answer me baby,” his thumb runs circles into the skin protecting your jugular making you melt back into him, “were you or were you not jealous tonight.”

“Yes,” you admit, placing your pride in a wood chipper.

“Yes what?” you impatiently grunt at the question, but can’t help but love the way he’s playing with you.

“Yes daddy,” you punctuate with a roll of your eyes.

“You shouldn’t be,” he continues to press soft kisses across your skin as his body warms every inch of you. His tone is full of patience making you calm and dazed in his hold, “I’m all yours.”

You yelp, as once he’s finished speaking, he simultaneously digs his teeth into the skin of your jaw and shoves himself fully inside of you. You scratch at his arm as you flutter around him in an attempt to adjust at the sudden intrusion.

You can feel your tongue moving as you plead into the air, but when he begins thrusting into you all the sounds are formed into one mass in your mind and your toes painfully curl. His hips smacking into your skin and the way he makes you stretch around your eyes roll back.

“That’s right,” the steady tone he holds as he knocks into you is almost unnerving as you begin to ragdoll in his hold, “and this little jealous streak you have going makes me think you belong to me just as much as I belong to you.”

He shifts on his knees in search of a better angle, and once he hears your breath pick up he knows he’s found it deep inside you. The way you crumble against him makes him wear a mean grin.

“All mine aren’t you?” he sounds far too proud of himself for your liking. There’s a beat of silence before his open palm lands harshly once again on the tingly skin of your ass, “aren’t you?”

“Yes Mark,” you spit out before you begin gnawing on your lip. Tears form across your water line as once the words finally leave you, he rewards you by moving to press his calloused fingers against your clit.

Incoherent words spill from you as you jerk against him, but he only laughs in response. He immediately starts moving tight circles against the buzzing skin, enjoying the way your chest moves from the way your body arches away from him, your nipples pressing against the thin fabric of your bralette making his brain go haywire.

“You need to come baby,” his voice is gruff and strained as he bosses you, finally showing the way your so tightly wrapped around him is affecting him, “after the little game you played earlier, I’m not gonna last long. You know that don’t you? That’s why you did it?”

“No Mark, I promise,” you shake your head as you grind against his fingers, a second orgasm looming over your head.

“Now don’t start lying to me now, you evil little thing,” you can feel yourself start to shake and your legs start to tingle as he whispers his taunts in your ear, “come for me.”

His fingers, his words, and the way he splits you apart pushes you flying over the edge. Your orgasm floods your veins as you clench harshly around him, the pleasure rocketing up your spine and making you cry out.

The way you wrap around him as you come, makes his hips stutter as he begins to come. He lets out a long groan into your ear and the sound and the feeling of him releasing warm and thick inside you makes your hands reach back to desperately grab at his hips. His fingers speed up as he comes, his orgasm making his brain too foggy to register that he’s elongating your orgasm until it’s bordering on painful.

His adrenaline subsides as he releases the last bit of come inside you, making his balance falter as he collapses both of you to the bed. He’s conscious enough to move his hand from your throat, and instead moves it to pet your face in an attempt to sooth you.

He’s still deep inside of you as he presses his chest against your back to curl around you. His heated breath hitting your face as he uses your face as a pillow as both of your breaths even out. You feel his knee push between your legs, and it feels like your muscles have been turned to jello.

It feels like decades before he finally whispers, almost like he’s afraid that speaking too loud would scare you away, “I didn’t know you’d be jealous.”

“Stop,” you cringe at how sinscere he sounds.

“No we need to talk about it,” his arm wraps around your ribcage and pulling you closer, wanting to make sure you feel safe before entering the conversation.

“I never thought about how you were feeling, so I really never expected you to get jealous over something like that, so I’m sorry.”

“Mark stop,” you don’t think when your hands falls to lace your fingers with his, “I’m the one who overreacted and got jealous over something that wasn’t my business. You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

“But I want to,” he shifts onto his elbow to peer down at you, the emotion behind his eyes scaring you, “if you got that jealous, that means you were clearly feeling something deeper that I wasn’t noticing, and considering how strongly I feel about you, it’s disappointing that I didn’t notice.”

“What do you mean how strongly you feel?” the insecurity in your tone makes your stomach turn, but you need to know.

“I like you a lot,” he sighs deeply once the words are out in the open, “and I have since we met, but when you said you didn’t do relationships I convinced myself that I couldn’t lose you so I just agreed. It was stupid, but I really change your mind if I just stuck around.”

“You did though,” you hand mindlessly moves to grab onto his ear, your fingers kneading the cartalidge and making him shiver, “I like you too, and I should have told you but I was being a brat about the idea of actually liking someone.”

“Oh so we‘re both dumb hm?” he teased leaning into your touch, the fondness behind his eyes making warmth spread across your chest.

“Yeah but I think we already knew that.”

“True,” he lays back down to wrap himself around you and press his mouth tightly against yours momentarily, “also that girl was only a classmate. You got jealous for nothing.”

“Nothing is an understatement,” you groan in embarrassment, “we never defined what we were, there was no reason for me to get wound up like that.”

“If I had just gotten the nerve to tell you that I wanted a relationship you never would have gotten wound up.”

“We really are both dumb,” your blank tone pulls a boyish laugh from him, making him smile and press kisses across you skin.

“You wear me out you know that?” you grin up at him, batting your eyelashes in a way that would read as innocent if you weren’t tangled together in the way you were.

You lean up slightly, crowding his space with your breath, before running your tongue over the seam of his slightly parted mouth, “like you’re not obsessed with it.”

He darts forward, catching you lips in his and making you squeal both from shock and the feeling of him slipping out of you from his movements. He circles your body with his arms and pulls you to lay on top of him.

“You know I’ve never met anyone like you,” you squirm against him, not actually trying to get anywhere just to annoy him a bit. Your legs fall to the sides to straddle him, reminding you of the way the series of events that happened in your bed tonight started. You squeak and pout when he digs his teeth into the skin of your jaw to still you as you keep shifting, “and I don’t think I ever will.”

“Same to you Mark. You’ve ruined me.”

[sokkas-honour]

for spotify wrapped: #7 and zuko?

checkmate - zuko x reader

pairing: modern!zuko x fem!reader

wc: 4.3k

warning: parties, alcohol, vomiting, kind of cheating, lmk if i’m missing smth

notes: the party in here is a kind of based off the ones i’ve gone to so they might be drastically different than they actually are lmao. if a character is very ooc for you, please lmk, i’m often scared that i differ too much from who they actually are. also i loved writing this and have been working on it for days.

-

you think you're funny right? calling me drunk when it's too late at night

he sat at his desk, book open as he studied for his earth kingdom history test late that saturday night when he received a call. he wasn’t very interested in answering but he reconsidered when he saw your name as the caller id. with a sigh he clicked accept.

“heyyyy zuzuuuu.” your words slurred through the phone when he finally picked up. voice sounding somewhat absent as lyrics from whatever song was on played in the background. you must’ve been yelling into the phone as the music seemed to playing rather loudly.

“hey y/n.” zuko sighed but still greeted you, a small smile forming on his lips at the fact that he was talking to you.

“did you knowww that you’re kinda cute?” you asked, a loud giggle escaping your lips at your drunken confession.

“thanks y/n.” a blushed spread accros his cheeks at your compliment.

“zuzzuuuuuuuuuu, come to the party. pleasseee.” you begged, your words starting to slur even more as you pleaded for your friend to come to the gathering.

“where are you right now?” he asked, realising that he hadn’t heard of any party during the week and hadn’t seen anything in their group chat. he had absolutely no idea where you were and who you were with.

“jet’s place. he invited me to his party with his friends.” you explained, practically shouting into the phone as the music behind you blared.

“did you go alone?” he pushed for more information, concern growing as you explained the situation. he’d heard rumours on things jet had previously done around campus and even in high school, none of it sounded any good and it rose all of his red flags.

“well no, with jet.” you stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“i mean with someone from our friendgroup.” he clarified, remembering that your drunken self probably wasn’t exactly thinking much.

“nope.” you popped the ‘p’ as you cheerily responded which earned a sigh from the firenation boy.

“what’s jet’s address? i’ll be there soon.” he concluded. he’d come to get you and let you spend the night at his place since you seemed a bit too drunk to be trusted to be left alone.

“he texted me roku valley number 35? i think? it’s this huge house.” you seemed to have sobered up as you told him where you were.

“i’ll be there in less than 15 minutes.” he informed the drunken girl and started grabbing his keys.

“see you zuuuzuuuu.” he heard you say but you didn’t hang up so he didn’t either, figuring you probably wanted to say something else.

right as he was about to grab his jacket, he heard a discussion between jet and yourself and grabbed the phone, and put it on speaker to be able to know exactly what was happening.

“hey y/n, you enjoying yourself.” jet asked, seeming to have not been affected by any alcohol yet. unbeknownst to zuko, he had handed you a bottle of beer which didn’t take you long to finish.

“yeah, i even got a friend to come.” you excitedly responded as you continued to drink.

zuko listened intently as he left his apartment to get to his car, he threw his phone in the passengers seat and started his car as another distinctive voice came up into the phone.

“so what about you and that firenation boy.” jet asked, this time no music was blaring but the voices were just muffled as your phone was in a pocket of yours. the no music meant that you had stepped out of the main room and you were probably alone with the boy.

at the realisation, zuko sped up, the roads were practically empty so he didn’t bother anyone as he couldn’t wait to come and get you.

“zuzu?” he hadn’t been paying much attention to your conversation with jet as he focused on the road ahead but the mention of his caused him to pay half attention to the call.

“i dont know. he’s like my best friend y’a know.” you explained to the boy after he had nodded, zuko deducted the last part.

he decided to just hang up as he was getting closer to his destination and before he knew it, he was in front of the house where the party took place. he parked rather hazardly on the sidewalk but he wasn’t going to be there for long, a simple get in, find you, and get out.

when he opened the door, some random generic pop song was blaring and a crowd of people were all in the center of the room, drunkenly dancing around. he had to push a path for himself to try and find you but it was a bit hard considering it was perfectly lit.

“zuko?” he heard the familiar voice of haru, a fellow classmate with whom he had shared classes with in his sophomore year of college.

“hey haru, have you seen y/n?” he didn’t feel like small talk as he was concerned for you. thankfully for him, haru seemed to pick up a small stress in his words and pointed to the kitchen with his head.

“thanks.” zuko smiled and quickly left to the direction that the earth kingdom boy had said. when he finally found it, it was practically empty apart from two people who seemed like they were about to indulge in a make out session and his eyes widened when he was able to recognise you. he’d recognise you anywhere.

“you mind leaving?” apparently he hadn’t been very discreet as the boy, who he saw was jet, moved his head to glare at the newcomer. interested, you turned around, your back now facing jet and you grinned.

“zuko!” your excitedly exclaimed, quickly leaving jet’s grip and skipped to your friend happily. to any sober person, your skipping was a mix of jumping and almost falling, and in any other circumstance, zuko would’ve found it adorable.

“hey y/n/n.” he was a tad bit surprised as you wrapped your arms around his waist but relaxed when you slightly cuddled into his chest.

“nicely played scar boy. nicely played.” jet gritted through his teeth at the fact that zuko had just taken the girl he had been flirting with away from him.

“jet that’s mean, zuko’s scar is very pretty to me.” you mumbled, not loud enough for the person that you actually wanted to hear it but loud enough for zuko to hear and it made his heart race.

telling me truths that you know all are lies, yeah, you think you're funny right?

the car ride home was quiet from both sides, zuko focused on the road while you went in and out of sleep.

when he finally parked near his apartment, he got out of the car and when he went to help you, he saw you were already out but slightly leaning against the car as you were tired.

“see zuzu? i’m not that drunk.” you gave him your signature drunken smile, earning a chuckle from him as he wrapped his hand around your waist to help you stand up.

he kept it around you as he you went up the two flights of stairs and he been kept it around you as he opened the door. you almost sprinted to bathroom as soon as the door was open, feeling the contents of the night come up.

concerned, zuko quickly shut his door and went after you. his heart broke slightly when he saw you leaned over the sink, a weak hand holding your hair back as you body ridded itself of whatever was in its stomach. he leaned down, wrapped a solid hand around your hair and rubbed circles on your back as you kept going.

when you finally felt like your stomach was completely empty, you rose your hand slightly. eyes red and cheeks puffy, you tried to give zuko some sort of joking grin but you were only met with a concerned face.

he let go of your hair and filled up a nearby cup of water and handed it you while you sat on the ground, not feeling like getting up just yet.

“spirits y/n, how much did you drink?” he bent down to your level, hand on your knee and worried eyes staring in yours.

“don’t know.” you shrugged your shoulders before slowly sipping the water.

“i guess you can tell me tomorrow morning, after you’ve rested a bit alright?” he suggested, taking the now empty cup from your hand and placing it on the sink counter. he extended his hand towards you to help you stand up and you gladly took it.

you let him guide you to his bedroom. you took a seat on his bed and absentmindedly stared at the wall in front of you as zuko grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt for you to sleep in. you staring got interrupted as you felt the clothes land on you, turning around, you saw a small smirk on his face.

“how kind zuko.” you seemed to have somewhat sobered up, throwing a playful grin his direction as he turned around to let you change in privacy.

“once you’re done, i’ll just grab a thing or two and go to the living room.” he explained, meaning he was giving you the bed.

“no zuko stay, it’s fine.” you crawled to the other side of the bed in his clothes to grab his hand, trying to get him to stay.

“you sure? don’t want you throwing up on me.” he joked, earning a slap on the arm from you as you moved back to the other side of the bed to give him some space.

you had taken your phone out of your pocket and were scrolling through it as you waited for zuko to get ready.

‘had fun tonight, see you tomorrow evening? 7pm?’ you texted jet, hoping you could finish whatever you started.

‘cant wait’ was his response that came almost immediately. a smirk on your face, you shut off your phone and placed it face down on the night table next to the bed as zuko entered the room.

“who were you texting?” he asked, eyebrow raised in questioning.

“no one, just scrolling through insta.” you lied, a reassuring smile on your face as he took his spot next to you. you mumbled one last thing before placing your head on the pillow and passing out. it wasn’t loud but you made sure that it was loud enough for zuko hear it. “i love you.”

you think you're super sly, flirting with them but telling me you're mine,

zuko woke up before you, smiling at your adorable soft snoring. he knew you were going to have one hell of a hangover so he prepared the ibuprofen and the glass of water, and set it on the night table closest to you before heading to the kitchen. he figured that he might as well make breakfast for the two of you, knowing that you’d be ravenous as you had been the multiple times you’d spent the night.

the boy found himself falling asleep next to you at least a couple of times a month, this being the third in two weeks. you two had never defined your relationship but you were both there for each other. he often found himself taking a drunk you home, wether it be from a random campus party or a little get together with friends. he didn’t mind, he loved spending time with you.

he got out the pan, the eggs and the bacon. that was something he knew how to cook and it was your favourite post-drunk breakfast, you always claimed that his bacon and eggs were the best.

while he was cooking the bacon, he heard some rustling from his room and a small knowing smile spread accross his face. he could hear the floorboard creek as you stepped out of the room and arrived practically directly in the kitchen.

you had woken up to an empty bed but to a heavenly smell. once you saw zuko in the kitchen being the cause for the delicious aroma that had filled the appartment, you rubbed the last of the sleep out of your eyes and walked towards him. you thought he looked adorable as he cooked so you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into his back. you knew exactly what this did to him.

“good morning sleepy head.” he greeted you, heart racing a bit at your proximity. zuko desperately wanted to turn around to kiss you good morning but opted for keeping his attention on your breakfast.

“good morning.” you mumbled into his shirt, too lazy to remove your head from its comfortable position which earned a small chuckle from the raven haired boy. you could feel it in his chest.

“sleep well?” he asked as you moved your head so that only your chin was against his back, letting your just stare at the ceiling.

“like a baby.” your morning voice prevented you from saying it normally so it came out more as a rasp than anything.

“figured as such, you passed out as soon as i turned off the lights. how’s the hangover?” concerned laced in the last part, moving the eggs from the pan to a plate that he had already prepared.

“better than expected, i’ll take the pill after i eat something.” you explained, trying to clear your throat in order to have a bigger range of voice.

“mind unlatching yourself? breakfast is ready.” he explained as he placed the final bacon on the two plates then turned off the stove. you reluctantly removed your arms, a small pout forming on your lips.

when zuko turned around, a plate in each hand, he laughed a bit at your childish expression but still leaned a bit down to place his lips against yours as he wanted to when you first stepped into the room.

you smiled into the kiss and it replaced the pout even after he broke it in order to place the two plates on opposites sides of the two tables. you decided to make yourself useful and went to grab the silverware.

the majority of the meal was spent in silence, a couple of giddy smiles and compliments on the food were exchanged but a conversation didn’t pick up until you were about to finish the last of your eggs.

“did jet do anything last night.” so that’s what zuko was thinking about during the meal.

“no he didn’t zuko, i wouldn’t have let him anyway. i may be drunk but i’m not dumb.” you explained, telling a small white lie in order to reassure your friend. jet and you were about to make out but zuko didn’t have to know that, even if he saw the position you two were in, it was possible to lie about the intentions.

“you sure? didn’t seem like nothing when i found you.” he sipped his water as he doubted your previous statement.

“i was a bit nervous so he was kind enough to talk me out of the funk i was in.” you lied through your teeth but kept a genuine comforting smile, even extending your hand onto the table in order for him to grab it.

“what were you nervous about? since you seem to remember last night pretty well.” he looked at your hand but refrained from bringing his up to yours.

“i only remember bits and pieces zuzu. and don’t know really, i was probably nervous about you.” you bit your lip, waiting to see zuko’s reaction to your wild claim. as you expected, his eyes widened in shock and blushed.

“me? why would you be nervous about me?” he stuttered a bit in the beginning, his heartrate picking up your confession. zuko had been head over heels for you ever since he saw you in his first class of his sophomore year, and he wished more than anything that you two would get together.

“don’t know, maybe it has something to do with that beautiful face of yours.” you brought your mug of tea that he had made up to your lips to hide your small smirk but you still sent a wink in his direction. you loved watching his whole face illuminate and his cheeks grow redder.

“oh.” was all he managed to say, too stunned to say anything. zuko had been in multiple relationships before, boys and girls, but none of them ever drove him as crazy as you did.

the rest of the morning was spent by helping him do the dishes along with a bit of cuddling on the couch as the news served as background noise. sadly, an alarm rang from your phone, reminding you that you had somewhere to go. time to kill and get ready before your little rendezvous.

“do you have to go?” zuko mumbeld, not wanting you to leave his embrace.

“yeah i set a reminder to remember to start studying for the math final.” you explained, slightly unwrapping yourself from his grip.

“that’s in a long time y/n.” zuko rose an eyebrow in confusion, unwrapping his arms from your waist to let you get up.

“yeah but i’ve been falling behind and need to catch up by myself.” you explained, grabbing your phone and put it into the pocket of the sweatpants you were wearing and you realised you were still in zuko’s clothes.

“you don’t mind me keeping your clothes that i’m wearing right? i’ll change once i get home.” you gave him your best puppy dog eyes in order to convince him to let you keep his comfy clothes.

“of course, you look hot in them. also, feel free to leave your old clothes here for the next time you crash for the night.” he eyed you up and down, loving how adorable you looked in his clothes. it wasn’t the first time he saw you in them, the number of times you needed new clothes after a party was so high he lost track. you usually kept them but returned some.

“why thank you zuko.” you teased, grabbing your coat that he had placed delicately on top of an armchair.

“see you soon?” he wishfully asked hoping you two could go out together sometime as you were about to leave the room.

“you can count on it pretty boy.” you sent him a small smirk before shutting the door behind you. behind the door was a lovestruck boy that finally had his chance.

building me up, but buttercup you lied, now in gonna ruin your life,

a couple of weeks after that night, zuko and you had spent a couple of afternoons together and zuko savoured every minute of them. you were supposed to meet him and the rest of the gaang at a coffee shop but everyone had already finished their drinks and you still hadn’t showed up.

“you sure she’s going to show up zuko? it’s y/n.” sokka took zuko out of his constant glancing at his phone to check for any messages from you. you were somewhat notorious for showing up to friend dates later then the decided time.

“she said she would be there, y/n promised me she’d be there today.” the boy insisted, opting to stare out the window when he spotted katara placing her head on aang’s shoulder.

“she’s over an hour late, let’s just head back to our place and ask her to meet us there?” aang suggested after placing a small kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead.

“yeah zuko, i love y/n just as much as you but she might just have gotten caught up with something.” toph shrugged her shoulders, trying to help everyone convince the raven haired boy to just leave the coffee shop.

“i guess you’re right. let’s go.” zuko turned his head from his outdoor gazing and smiled to his friends who all cheered a bit before everyone grabbed their jackets.

everyone walked in pairs to take up less space on the sidewalk on the way to katara’s, toph’s and aang’s apartment. zuko found himself walking side by side with suki who was talking to him about a recent goof that sokka recently made. he felt bad for not fully paying attention but he couldn’t help thinking about why you didn’t show up or even text him. you never came late to any of your dates so why be late now.

all of a sudden, he bumped into toph who had stopped walking, apparently everyone stopped walking for some reason but he was so engrossed in his thoughts he didn’t realise it.

“why did we stop.” he asked, turning his head into the direction that everyone was staring in. he squinted his eyes, trying to see what everyone was seeing.

“jet.” sokka said through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes in the direction of the aftermentiononed boy. zuko finally spotted him, katara’s short lived highschool romance who supposedly ended badly. he had heard some rumours around campus but other than that, it seemed like a bad highschool experience.

“oh no.” he heard those two words slip out of sukis mouth as he saw who jet was with, he would recognise you from anywhere. he saw jet whispering something into your ear which earned a giggle from you before leaning in to peck his lips.

“how about we go this way.” aang nervously suggested as everyone spotted you, not wanting to make this too uncomfortable for anyone but it was too late, zuko’s heart dropped at the sight.

“yeah, sounds good to me.” he managed to say, swallowing hard as he couldn’t take his eyes off of the similar way you acted with jet. the look you gave him was the same, he thought it was reserved for him.

cause ive gotten tired of the games that you play, when you tell me you love me then you throw me away,

when he got him that night, realisation dawned on him. every time you left a bit early, claiming to go study or go see friends, you were probably lying. it solidified when he received a text from you, probably apologising for being late because you didn’t seem to notice your whole friend group down the street from you.

‘hey zuzu, i’m so sorry but not making it today. i got caught up with this highschool friend i ran into.’

the text basically aggravated him, he saw the reason why you were late and receiving a text for you lying about why you weren’t there. he decided not to bother to respond and basically just find a way to release his agression. opting not to make his phone a victim of his anger, he grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the wall.

‘we still on for friday night? at that really good firenation restaurant?’ he heard his phone ding with a message from you right after he picked up the poor pillow that had suffered so much.

zuko was about to call you to confront you but then it hit him, you were just playing with him, you were just playing with jet. you probably only saw him as a friend but noticed his obvious feelings and decided to toy with him, or maybe that’s just what you did with everyone.

you two never actually said that you were both a thing, which is probably your excuse for all of this. but there was one thing you didn’t realise, and it was that two people could play at this game.

‘of course, see you at around six pm at zheng-ho’s delicacies?’ he smirked slightly when he got your enthusiastic text back, agreeing to meet him then and there.

the only thing left was to bring someone else into this game, someone who had previously been apart of his life in the beginning of college. she probably wouldnt mind a small rekindling without any real commitment.

he searched for her name in his contacts and clicked on it, realising it had been a while since he had contacted his sisters friend and his old girlfriend.

‘hey mai, i know it’s been awhile but wanna meet up at around five this friday?’ and sent, your single player game was now a multiplayer one.

so cry me a river 'til you drown in the lake, cause you may think you're winning but checkmate,

the rest of the gaang decided to avoid the topic during the week, letting the tension between the two of you be resolved on your own. you of course were unaware of them seeing you with jet, and even more unaware that zuko saw you kiss him, so you kept flirting with him, feeling a bit down when he didn’t always reciprocate it.

so now you stood, in front of zheng-ho’ delicacies at exactly six pm, waiting for your date with zuko. if anyone asked you, you’d say you felt a bit bad about dragging zuko into your games but it entertained you, it kept you on your toes.

you recognised the firenation boy across the street thanks to his scar. but who you didn’t recognise was the girl with long black hair that was holding his hand. he looked down at her and placed his hand on her cheek to lean down and kiss her. the action making your blood boil, what the hell was he doing.

you took your phone out to pretend you didn’t see anything, only lifting it when your heard his footsteps next to you.

“hey y/n.” he greeted you as you lifted your head with a small smile, lifting yourself up slightly to kiss him, taking him by surprise.

“good evening zuzu.” your hand immediately went to grab his, trying to show him that you had the upper hand in whatever game he was playing. you didn’t know that he saw your kiss with jet, you didn’t know that he had figured out your little game.

“shall we.” he unlachted his hands from yours, holding the door open for you with a smirk onto his face, knowing you were shaken by the change of power dynamic in whatever game you were both now playing.

yeah you may think you're winning but checkmate.

general taglist: @butterfly-skinnylegend

zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik

atla taglist: @missmorosis @draqondance @biqherosix @firelady-jay @welovediaaxx

[tlou-1]

Joel x Reader (Home) - Chapter 14

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 TBA

Chapter 14 - You and Joel make up after being distant with each other (warning for smut) and you speak with Ellie sensing the argument between them is affecting their relationship. 

Joel had been crashing on the sofa the past couple nights, he knew you needed your space to process everything, so he didn’t even ask, he just did it. You were lying in the bed you both usually shared with a large empty space beside you still. You thought about Joel setting up a blanket and pillows for the fourth night, before wishing you a “Goodnight” as you had stopped at the bottom of the stairs to watch him. Your hand now reached across the bed wanting to feel the comfort of his body heat or weight of him around the mattress but the pillow was untouched and cold. 

It was late and dark, you could barely see where you were walking as you made your way downstairs. Standing at the bottom of the stairs you call out to him, hoping he hadn’t fallen asleep yet. 

“Joel?” You call his name softly, the way you said it sounded so much nicer than his name had sat in your mouth during your arguments in the past few days. 

“Hmm? Y/N is everything alright?” He asks sleepily, sitting up.

“Yes, come to bed? It’s too cold without you” you put out your hand which he takes silently and follows you back upstairs. 

As Joel gets into bed you stand to the bedside and slowly pull Joel’s shirt you were wearing over your head. You stand there naked infront of Joel only lit by the small amount of moonlight peering through the curtains. Joel sits up and begins to speak, “shhh” you hush him and climb on top of him. He begins to shower your neck and breasts in kisses and your head falls back in response. Joel slowly pushes you forward so as that you’re beneath him with your back laid upon the cool bed. He goes back to were he was kissing you but begins to trail his kisses from your breasts to the navel of your stomach where he stops. Joel holds his hands gently against there before kissing it slowly, the space where your child was growing. “I am sorry, I love you” he whispers against your skin. 

You sits back up and prop yourself on top of him again “I love you too” you say before adjusting him inside of you. You both let out a soft moan as soon as Joel enters you from the pleasure and relief. You shift your body in a gentle motion, you take your time with each other and being gentle with each touch. Joel gently lies you down and lowers his head in-between your legs where he slowly uses his mouth and tongue “God I missed this” he moans before setting his mouth back to work. You go to laugh at his comment but all the escapes your lips is a whimper and Joel picks up the pace of his tongue. He reaches his free hand for yours and you grip it tight as your hips buckle and legs shake with the intensity of the orgasm passing through you from the tip of your toe to the back of your head. 

“You good?” He whispers smiling as he sits back up positing himself. He always enjoyed pleasuring you, sometimes when he smiled like that you thought he enjoyed it more than when he would cum. Not many men were built like that.

All you could do was nod before he slowly adjusted himself within you and as he did it a pleasurable rush and relief washed right over him again, “Jesus Christ” he almost growled his hand reaching for the back of the bed board to hold himself up as you rocked your bodies in a slow motion. Your hand reached up to trace his jawline before pulling him down to kiss you. You could tell he was getting close when he pushed his forehead against yours and his panting became quicker. “Fuck Y/N” he called as his body tensed and went still inside yours. 

Joel collapsed on top of you, your body completely enwrapped in his in every possible way. You had never experienced it like this, when Joel usually came he would pull away from you to avoid any chance of you getting pregnant which you inevitability now already were. You had never pulled each other closer, you’d never looked into his eyes when it happened or felt how intensely his heart was beating against his chest and now against yours too. 

“I like this” you whisper a few moments later and Joel still hadn’t moved or removed himself.

“Hmm?” He says still a bit out of sorts.

“This, you pulling me closer instead of having to pull away and feeling the weight of you around me… it’s comforting” you smile stroking his slightly damp hair. 

Joel laughs and you cant help but join in “Lets not fight again Y/N, I don’t think I could have watched you walk around this house in those tight jeans one more day” he chuckles rolling over to his side of the bed. 

You whip your head round to look at him, its pretty dark but his hazel eyes are clear enough to see.

“Joel it was five days” you roll your eyes at him.

“It was five days too long” he sighs before quickly kissing you on the cheek and cuddling into you.

“Just no more secrets or lies okay?” you whisper in the dark. 

“Okay” he whispers back.

The following morning you both agree to go to Doctor Henry to tell her your decision.

“Well by my guessing with the time of your last period I am guessing you’re about 10 weeks, you’ll be staring to show a bit more from now and in the coming weeks.” She explains slowly. You cant help but look down at your stomach, it was already slightly curved but nothing people would notice. 

“I have an ultrasound hooked up, if you’d like to try listening for the heartbeat today?” Doctor Henry smiles. You had always hated being examined and hated the worn leather chair in the doctors office but when you heard that sound, the chair didn’t seem so bad. You had never heard a baby’s heartbeat before, it sounded a bit like Shimmer galloping across a field to you.

“Should it be going that fast?” You asked a little worried, to which Joel reached for your hand smiling.

“That’s normal baby don’t worry” he reassured you before kissing your hand. 

Two weeks later you and Joel walked out to Ellie’s shed one night to tell her the news. You thought she should know before breaking it to the rest of the family. 

“That’s amazing” she smiled and hugged you tightly. Which she was doing less and less often in her adolescence. She didn’t hug Joel but just awkwardly smiled at him before saying “congrats old man”. You and Joel were heading out when you asked him to go on ahead, you hadn’t wanted to intervene but maybe it was time you did chat with Ellie. 

“Ellie, you got a minute?” You say closing the door behind Joel. 

“Sure” she shrugs. 

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” You sigh at her but again she just shrugs and answers with a non answer. 

“You know he is as stubborn as they come, about as stubborn as you and he can be emotionally stunted when it comes to expressing himself” you laugh slightly knowing how true it can be.

“but that man loves you Ellie. I have watched your old man fling himself in the way of infected, bloaters and trespassers to keep you safe in the almost two years I have know you, without even thinking about it, he is there. I think he doesn’t realise he is doing the same with patrols and other things that are just a part of life here. I will talk to him about it, you should be out on patrol if that’s what you want?” You ask her

Ellie nods “I do”. 

“Do me a favour though? Don’t forget why he does the things he does, I try not too.” you smile softly at her.

“Okay I’ll try”. 

[nicklightbearer]

Not A Warning, Babe, It’s An Order

yet another whf tickling fic! i just cant get enough of these two. this one is a lot longer and a good bit more.... sweet? cute?

in this; virgil didnt die and also nick and jack are Frens <3

“Ugh!” Nick huffed, balling up yet another failed composition and throwing it towards the trash can- at this point, while most of it at the bottom was empty bottles, it was overflowing with similar papers. Ripped, crushed, and ruined.. None of them were right. He couldn’t get down the mood he wanted, not in the slightest- and though he eyed the pills set in a neat bowl on his desk, he ended up shoving those away too and just pressing his head to his hands.

This wasn’t working. He couldn’t feel it, that groove that would inspire him to write a million words all in one night- that focus, that drive.. It eluded him.

From the open window, a cold chill. He’d left it open on purpose, of course- tonight, of all nights, he’d actually hoped that Jack would show up- but so far, nothing. Perhaps he wasn’t listening. 

Perhaps he was off indulging in his own hobby. A thought that would’ve once made Nick shudder just made him snort now, and he stood up to grab his guitar.

Maybe this time, he could interrupt the magician’s work instead.

Making his way over to the window, he gave the guitar a few plucks- out of tune, dammit- but with his keen ear for such things, he twisted the pegs just so until the guitar sang as beautifully as ever. He pushed open the door to the balcony, giving a few strums, before settling on a chair outside and kicking his feet up on the railing.

Yes, this would do nicely. 

Jack.. Wasn’t actually hunting, not tonight. He hadn’t been, as of late- sneaking off to Nick’s room to get a bit of company now and again, coupled with ‘terrorizing’ the poor man, well.. It’d been doing just fine. 

At the moment, he was actually perched on the windowsill of some random citizen- he hadn’t bothered checking who, it didn’t matter- and peering into the window to a bedroom across the way. This house was his target- a doctor lived there with his wife, and it seemed that this particular fellow had taken a vested interest in the bobby’s investigation of the ‘escape’ of Foggy Jack.

Irritating, to say the least. Those doctors gave him the heebie-jeebies. 

He’d been there for.. Oh, three hours? It was about three hours when he finally noticed something to break the monotony- hell, the doctor hadn’t even come home yet, all he’d seen was the wife folding laundry and watching the late-night run of Uncle Jack’s show- and it was.. Well, at first he thought he was hallucinating. It wasn’t the first time.

But as the song trailed off, he noted that it was different from recordings. It was as if Nick was playing his guitar right out into the open night air, something like a ballad version of When You’re Gone. 

Surely Nick wasn’t playing outside at this hour. Though he tried to ignore it- probably just some other musician practicing- it kept going.. And his curiosity got the better of him.

Sighing, he slid down from the window, dissolving into his usual mist before even touching the ground. 

If it was Nick, he’d be rather cross. At the same time, it was definitely a first for him to be doing something like this, and he wondered to what end it was.

When Nick noticed the fog rolling up the streets, converging into a larger cloud as it got closer to his house, he smiled grimly. It had worked- and he wasn’t actually sure how Jack would react to such a summons, as odd as it was. But he needed help- and of all the times Jack had offered, well, he surely wouldn’t be that put off.

He closed his eyes, now crooning the words to his song softly as he felt the fog push up towards his balcony. 

“When you’re gone… Baby, it’s a long way home.” He could feel a presence behind him now, but he didn’t bother stopping his playing. It was near the end, anyway.

“Baby, it’s a long way home.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder as he finished the tune, and lolled his head back to open his eyes and grin up at Jack. The magician was quiet- looked rather neutral, but curiosity glinted in his eyes.

“A wonderful performance as always.” “Why, thank you.” “But I must ask.. It’s nearly midnight, most of the good folk have gone to bed or out to their activities of the night. Why haven’t you?” “I’m glad you asked!” Nick beamed, swinging his legs down and standing up as he grabbed Jack’s arm and dragged him inside- not that there was much resistance. 

“I have to write a new song. And I’m having a lot of trouble!” “You sound delighted about that.” Nick huffed, setting his guitar down and turning to cross his arms with an irritated frown. Jack merely tilted his head, still not entirely sure where he came into play.

“Well! You’ve helped me before.” “Ah, so it’s like that?”

The way the word was murmured shot a shiver up his spine, and Nick held his hands out placatingly as a cruel smile spread across the magician’s face.

“No! No, it’s not, you big bully. Godsakes.” “Well, do explain.” Nick sighed, stepping over to his bed and flopping to sit on the edge- and, when Jack didn’t move, he patted the spot next to him. There was a brief hesitation before he settled down, hands resting on his lap as he watched Nick almost warily.

“I need a favor.” “A favor.” “Yes. I know you get all excited about- about making me laugh, but I hardly ever get to see you laugh. And I think it would make for a great inspiration if you’d let me have my own fun, for once.” Jack’s face reddened considerably, even if Nick could only peek at the spaces around the edges. He shifted, bringing a knee up onto the bed so that he was facing the magician and leaned forward while clasping his hands together earnestly.

“Please! It’d be a big help, really.” “I..” “And you can- you can have your fun later, once I’m done. Okay?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “No strings attached?” “Well- I mean- oh, don’t be mean. You know what I meant.” “Mmh. I suppose if it’s such a big help..” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment before nodding in agreement. Nick clapped once, already excited. “Perfect! Okay, perfect. Here, you lay down, let me get my pad.” Jack may well have just up and died, with how heavily his blush was- but he complied, laying back on the bed awkwardly before covering his face and exhaling. Nick had scampered over to his desk and ripped the last page off again, completely trashing his original ideas and bringing over the blank paper and pencil to set on his nightstand.

“.. It’s not going to be very comfortable there. Here, up you go.” As he was pulled into a more comfortable position- laying so that he was propped up on pillows instead of flat on the mattress- he was silent. Nick paused for a moment before scrambling to sit on his legs, suddenly rather aware of how awkward the situation could become if he didn’t pull this off perfectly.

“.. And the mask?” “Oh no. Not taking it off.” “Jacky…” The magician peeked through his fingers, watching how Nick’s face fell and his eyes shined. Ooh, he was getting good at those puppy eyes.

He deflated, hooking his fingers around the edges and wiggling it off carefully. The night air felt cold on his exposed skin- especially with how fiery it was from the flustered state he was in.

“There. Happy?” “Absolutely!” Nick’s smile was back, and he laced his fingers together, stretching them a bit before wiggling them a few times- Jack had to bite back a giggle of anticipation- to get warmed up. 

“Alright. Don’t cover your face again, okay? I need to see you smile!” “God.” As his palms pressed to the magician’s sides, he yelped at the immediate slam of arms that nearly locked him in place.

“Woah there, Jackaboy- hey, you’ve only gone and trapped me!” “Well- I can’t- aha!”

His fingers curled slightly, and even with his jacket to protect him, the magician had to lock his jaw to keep the tingles that spread across his torso from affecting him too much.

“Come on, you silly boy.. Lift your arms up.” “I can’t if you- if you keep- doing that!” “Doing whaaaat?” The teasing! The tone! He hated it- but as skilled fingers began kneading at his sides, he couldn’t voice any of that. He pressed his arms down a bit harder, jerking as Nick’s hands slid down to squeeze his hips experimentally.

“Gosh, you’re such a baby about it. With all your big talk about how sensitive I am, I thought you wouldn’t be half so bad..” Nick tsked, pulling back for a moment before pushing his hands underneath the jacket and clawing at his stomach. Jack nearly had a heart attack right there, hands flying up to his mouth to stifle the sudden squeak as he squirmed.

“But that’s not right at all! You’re just as ticklish as me, aren’t you? God, what a hoot.” This was it. This was his funeral. 

“Imagine if the constables caught wind. Foggy Jack, menace to society- and all you have to do to reduce him to a pile of fluff and giggles is a little tickling.” “Fuck ohohoff!” “Ooh, swears. So scary.” Nick was careful as he pulled one hand out to start undoing buttons- the jacket was soon pushed aside, and he grinned as he ducked his head down. One hand locked on each side, squeezing over and over as his face pressed against the magician’s stomach- and though he didn’t yet do much other than that, the hot breath he could feel through his shirt made Jack buck up in an attempt to throw him off.

“Hold still! Squirmy wormy, squirmy Jacky, my gosh!” “Faha- Fuhuck you-” “Oh, quit the swearing. I’m not going to stop.” His hands drifted up, nails easily drilling against ribs and finally coaxing out a howl of laughter as Jack threw his head back against the pillows. Accompanying this was an even more infuriating sound- a soft ‘oooomnomnomnom’ as he nibbled at Jack’s shirt- and the slight biting feeling only earned more laughter that had now reached a much higher pitch than he’d ever admit.

“Jeez, no wonder Virge likes this snack..” Though he heard the words, he had no time to process them- not now that Nick had deftly undone his dress shirt and buried his face against him, blowing a raspberry square in the middle of his stomach. “NooOOHOHO- AHAHA- NIHIHIHIIIIHIHICK!! NOT THE- THEEHEE-” “Oooooh, yes! That’s perfect, Jacky.” Though he had started pushing at Nick’s shoulders, the musician merely chuckled and pushed his hands up- and from how he started kneading his fingers into Jack’s underarms, the shocks it sent up his arms drained his strength almost completely.

“Tickle-tickle-tickle… Oh, this is rich. No wonder you like doing this.” “Nihihick- plehease-” “Pleeease what? You volunteered.” “Noho! I didn’t- ahAHAHA!” Another raspberry. If he’d been able to form a coherent thought, he’d be thinking about how awful that mustache of Nick’s was for such an endeavor- the way it brushed against his stomach sent shivers across his body and left him breathless from the laughter.

Nick hummed a little as he looked up, reveling in the fruits of his labor for a moment and relishing in the squeals of laughter that now poured from Jack’s smiling mouth. It really was inspiring- the way he thrashed about and laughed as though he were witness to the funniest joke on the planet.. One that Nick had…

That was it!

Nick rolled off of him abruptly, seizing the pad and pencil from where he’d landed on the floor. Jack was still giggling softly, gasping for breath as he opened his eyes and blinked- a disappearing act from Lightbearer was.. Definitely unexpected.

But he heard humming beside the bed, and after fixing his shirt, he peered over the edge to see the musician scribbling on his pad of paper, occasionally pausing to tap the eraser to get a beat before resuming.

He was only the slightest bit disappointed. As he made to sit up, though, Nick looked up- then huffed, standing once again and pushing him back down.

“Oh no, I’m not done with you yet, mister. This is a full song, not just one verse!” Shit. “Now, Nick- really, it can’t be that hard to-” “It is! Now hold still. Wait- I’ve an idea.”

He got on his knees, gesturing for a moment before finding his words.

“Roll onto your stomach. Hug a pillow if that helps.” He complied, and though many spots were now protected by the bed, he had a funny feeling he was going to hate whatever was happening- of course, this was only strengthened when Nick turned his back and settled to sit on his knees. He maneuvered in such a way that he could sit criss-cross, pulling Jack’s feet through his legs and yanking his shoes off with ease.

Oh no.

“Nick- come on, this is getting ridiculous..” “Not a peep! I don’t want any protest, I’ve got to focus!”

Nick hummed the part he was thinking of as Jack buried his face in a pillow- before, of course, using the eraser end of his pencil to poke rapidly at the magician’s feet. The steady stream of giggles he earned was muffled into a pillow- but it seemed like enough, and he started writing again for a moment before repeating his actions. Jack balled up a fist and slammed it against the bed a few times, his legs screaming that he kick but wholly unable to due to their position.

“Nihihick- come on, aren’t you done yet?” “Don’t be impatient! Hey, you ought to be flattered-” He paused, now poking between each foot with every word and relishing in the flurry of flustered snickers he earned-

“You’re~my~muse~for~this~song! Isn’t that exciting?” “Ihi- eheheh- I suppose…” “Hey, if this works, maybe we can try more often! God knows with that album I’m supposed to have coming up…”

A thrill shot up through his stomach, and Jack grasped at the pillow he was strangling to the point where he was certain it would rip. “I didn’t agreehee to ahahany such thing!!” “But you would! Or..” Nick swung around, now facing him properly and giving him a brief break-

“I can convince you~.” Jack’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest- only to have a sudden wave of giggles come out instead, as Nick slipped his hands under his jacket and shirt to flutter his nails up and down the magician’s back and sides.

“Nohoho- you’re awful! Ahahawful!” “Oh, you love me.” “I hahahate ihihihihit!” Nick laughed along with him for a moment before landing a final pinch on one side and grabbing his notes again. Jack grumbled into his pillow, taking deep breaths to try and calm down. Of all the things Nick could’ve asked him to do…

But soon, they’d both gone quiet, and the scratching of pencil to paper began to slow- more pauses, more tapping, slight grumbling. Jack risked a peek over his shoulder, noting the irritated expression that Nick had.

“.. Something wrong?” “Well.. This next part. It’s less.. I need that giddy feeling. And it’s not coming.” Jack squirmed his way back onto his back and sat up, pulling his legs out from under Nick- with the lack of protest he must be pretty focused.

“That giddy feeling?” “Yeah. Like- when you take Joy for the first time in… No, that’s not quite it.” He hummed again, tapping the pencil on paper before groaning and shaking his head.

“Smilin’ like a little child, in a candy store.. Like that. Sort of.” Jack was content to watch, the look of focus combined with aggravation endlessly fascinating- and when the expression popped to a surprised look, his eyes widened. Surely not again…

“I’ve got it! I know.” And he tossed the pad onto the nightstand again before turning to Jack- this time, he was determined. Jack winced, a smile already tugging at his lips- but he was taken aback when Nick instead raised his arms above his head. “Tickle me!” “.. What?” “Well, it would work! It has before. That giddy feeling- you’re pretty good at getting it when you want.”

A more menacing smile now found its way onto his face, though a fairly endeared one. Of course, this was much more his speed… 

Though Nick had seemed determined at first, that quickly melted into nervous giggles as Jack’s hands pushed under his shirt, nails already scratching steadily at his sides. His arms swayed, wanting to come down from where he held them but staying up.. For now.

“Well, I must say, I greatly prefer this to your horrible torture. We should’ve started here, instead.” “Ghhheheh- thahat’s not- how it works!” “Well, it should be.” He chuckled quietly, slowly making his way up Nick’s torso and almost admiring his dedication- even when his ribs were the target of light squeezes, he kept up, though he’d folded at his elbows to clasp his hands behind his head as he trembled. 

“You- ha!- fucking, you’re a buhuhuhullyheehee…” “Isn’t that what you asked for? Please, Mr. Lightbearer, do clarify. You wanted me to tickle you, so I am- what’s the problem?” “Ghhhhheheheh…” Jack paused for a moment, hands resting on his ribs, before abruptly pushing up and drilling into his underarms. Nick yelped before squealing out more laughter, arms falling back down and locking as he covered his face. Judging by how he swayed, he’d probably fall if he wasn’t careful- so Jack carefully guided him to lay down, keeping at his torment the entire time.

“Go on, uncover your face- I’ve barely even picked up the pace…”

Nick jolted, then gasped through his laughter and finally pushed at Jack’s hands.

“Thahat’s- stooohohop, I neeheed to write!” “Aww.. Do I have to?” Jack pouted, but finally let go when Nick squeezed his arms down again.

“Yehehehehes!! Jack!” “Oh, fine.” He paused. “You actually have trapped my hands, though. Ease up.” Nick took a few deep breaths, slowly releasing his arms- squeaking at a final squeeze from Jack before he was released properly. Grabbing his notepad, he shook his hands out to try and get rid of the shakiness before bringing his knees up so he could write again.

“Cover your face… Hm- hmhmmmm.. Mmh, mmhmmmmm…” Jack tilted his head, trying to peek at the writing and huffing when he was swatted away. “I’m not done! No looking.” “Are you using my words?” “No- well, sort of. You’ll see.” He kept humming a few times before shifting so that his back was to Jack.

“.. Hey, do it again. But not so fast. I’m trying to nail the chorus.” “Do what?” “What do you think, you bully?” Jack snorted, settling on tracing his nails up and down Nick’s back- enough to earn a few snickers, and keep him content as he wrote. “What an effort, for a single song.” “You have no idea.” “Mmh, I think I have some. I’ve watched you write the whole thing.” “Yeah, well.. Shhh.” More humming- and quite a few giggles later- he finally set the pad down and pushed Jack’s hands away.

“Okay. That’s the first draft.” “Draft, are you serious?” “Well, I have to make sure it’s perfect!” Nick stretched, though he kept an eye on Jack- of course, the bastard’s hands twitched towards him, but he held himself back well enough. “It’s late. The best thing for me is to sleep on it. That’s why I write so late, so that I wake up with a little inspiration left over.” “Mmh, I see.” He faceplanted on the bed, reaching up to work off his wig; it was a mess, anyways, so it didn’t matter if he just threw it on the floor for later. Jack simply sat where he was, unsure if he was now overstaying his welcome.

“.. Lay down. Dork. You’re probably just as exhausted as me. It’s fine.” Though he hesitated for a long moment, he eventually settled next to Nick- the blush was back in full, but Nick didn’t seem to care. He slung an arm over the magician’s waist, already drifting off himself. Jack sighed softly, now not holding back the urge to gently comb his fingers through Nick’s hair.

“.. Good night, Nick.” “Mmnh, nighty night. Don’t run off.” It was the last request he had- and though he had other places to be, things to do.. Jack smiled fondly at the musician that now snored next to him. He was perfectly happy to wait.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

jaskier’s breakup album

alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 

so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?

the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.

i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 

taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 

heres a link to the playlist

1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift

so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 

1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)

this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 

the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 

jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.

2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 

songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 

I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend

they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.

You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah

the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.

3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.

I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"

this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 

So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one

jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 

Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one

this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 

4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff

You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'

essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 

5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)

so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire

Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.

6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)

this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 

'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough

hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 

7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)

this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.

8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face

9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 

this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.

I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did

jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 

When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them

Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible

this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.

10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 

11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 

so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.

12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)

this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life

obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.

13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)

this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away

this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.

Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me

this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.

That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home

the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.

14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.

15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 

Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near

in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.

16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard

17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.

18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 

19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?

I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again

this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 

20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)

this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 

The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name

these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 

21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.

22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.

I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn

I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone

this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one

this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.

in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)

anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!

[arthurflecksgirl]

Thank you ❤️❤️ Can you write that the reader doesn't let Arthur to touch her belly because she’s insecure about her body? Like while cuddling Arthur is going to put his hand on her belly but she stops him, he is confused and asks her why. She at first is ashamed to tell him why but she trusts Arthur and eventually tells him that she's insecure of her body, afraid Arthur could reject her. He comforts her, tells her that she is beautiful and maybe at the end she allows him to caress her belly❤️

Hi my lovely Anon. I finally wrote your request. I feel like this one was pretty personal for you ,so I really really hope I did okay and I hope with all my heart that its comforting and what you imagined it to be. Thank you for trusting me with such a personal request. It means a lot.

It was a chilly night in apartment 8J. You just got home from work to find Arthur smoking on the couch. Already cuddled up under his green blanket. A huge, clown faced pumpkin drowning the dark room in soft candle light.

"Hey darling, seems like you`ve started without me". Arthur blew out the smoke "I`m sorry Y/N. I had to distract myself a bit. I had an nervous episode on my day off and I thought it would help me to be creative."

You gave him a kiss on the forehead before you took your jacket off "I was kidding. Its okay. We have enough pumpkins to carve together anyway. I like the clown face you made."

Arthur put his cig in the astray "Really. Yeah well his nose is a bit off but I hope you`ll like it." He looked at you with love in his eyes as he lifted the blanket "Wanna join me? I`m kinda cold." he smirked.

As soon as you got undressed except for your underwear, you noticed how cold the room was "It is indeed very cold. I need the warmth of your body now".

"I think I can do something about that" he giggled as you crawled under his blanket. This was the best part of the day. Sinking into his arms, feeling his skin on yours. Him pulling you closer.

It was much warmer under the blanket. The space underneath was filled up with his body heath, "I missed you, baby" he wispered. "Being home just doesnt feel right".

You knew that Arthur had a hard time being alone at his apartment. As much as he wished for his own space when Penny was still  living with him, he didnt knew what to do since she was at the hospital. Usually you were at home when he was coming from work. But one day off was enough for him to feel kinda helpless about time.

"I know Arthur, I´m so sorry.  I wish I didnt had to work today. "

"Its okay....I managed to distract myself. I was working on some jokes and on the pumpkin. "

You noticed the empty bowl on the table "Did you ate the pumpkin soup I made for you?"

Arthur nodded "Yeah. Thank you, it was delicious. I cant even remember the last time I enjoyed to eat something".

"So good to hear, Artie." you rested your head upon his chest, feeling it lifting up and down while he let his gentle hand slide up and down your arms.

"Do you think we should....like...stay here? Its not the best place to live, right? I feel like I cant offer you any better and it makes me feel bad". The sadness in his voice was undeniable.

"Arthur...I love being in your apartment."

"Really? I mean....its not a home..."

"You dont feel at home here?"

"I dont know...I never knew anything else...it just.... I dont know..."

"Arthur, if you wanna move its ok. If not its okay,too. Home is where you are. Your arms are my idea of home. "

Arthur pulled you even closer, he sounded like he was about to tear up "You`re serious arent you?"

"Of course" you whispered back

"You`re so good to me. I promise to you, as soon as my stand ups are ready for the big clubs  we will leave this fucked up city."

"Where do you want to go? I mean do you dream of a specific place?"

"California. Maybe. I always wondered about the beach and the palm trees."

"Hmmmm sounds nice. Making love on the beach."

Arthur kissed the corner of your lips. Right where your smile was. "You want to share some love?"

"On the beach?"

A smirk was growing on his lips  "How about here and now?"

You turned your face, starting to cover his chest with kisses. He was so fragile. Every inch of his body needed to be kissed. Arthurs hand wandered to your shoulders, down your back to open your bra. The green blanket still covering both of you like a protective tent. Arthur kissed you while his hands gently caressed your breasts. His touch was medicine to you. Sometimes you could have sworn that Arthur had healing hands which helped healing your wounds. Your inner scars. The ones that werent visible to the eyes.

But then he rested his hand on your belly. And something happened inside of you. Something you never thought could happen while Arthur was touching you. Something that hurt inside. His hand on your belly felt wrong. Not because you didnt wanted him to touch you. But because you felt uncomfortable with that part of your body. You didnt liked it and you didnt wanted him to notice.

Your mind kept asking questions. Screams inside of your head.

What if  you stop him right now? Would he get upset?

The thoughts inside of your head kept spinning while his fingertips caressed that part that made you feel insecure for such a long time. It was like being exposed. You never felt so vulnerable before in your whole life. It was unbearable.

"Arthur. Please. Don`t." you grabbed his wrist and looked into his eyes. He looked confused. His other hand reached out to stroke your tummy "Y/N? I just want to give you some..."

"Arthur, stop!" the moment you told him so, your eyes started watering by looking into his eyes. He looked hurt. Like you just told him something terrible. He took his hand back, swallowing hard, while his fingers started shaking.

"What is it ? I.m.....I`m sorry if I....if I did something wrong?" there was so much pain in his voice and confusion in his eyes.

You covered your face and started to cry. Overwhelmed by the fact that you just told him to stop touching you.

Arthur ran his figers through his hair. In a nervous, uncomfortable way.

"Y/N? Please talk to me? Why are you crying? Please!"

He looked at his hands. Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt you? He thought he was being gentle with you. Was he hallucinating? Did he do something else than he actually rememberd? For a second he was scared of himself.

"Did I do something? Tell me. Did I do something I shouldnt have?"

You uncovered your face so he could see your tears "Noooo Artie. Its not you...."

Arthur wrapped his arms around his waist. Like he tried to hug himself " Do you want me to stop touching you? Am I not allowed to love you anymore? Dont you love me anymore?"Arthur tried  to swallow down a laugh. Thats when you realized he actually felt like crying. He grabbed his throath.

Your hand reached for his wrist again. This time to comfort him "Dont cry, Arthur. Its not what you think. I love you with all my heart, more than anything in this fucked up world. "

A silent, tortured laugh escaped his lips "But why dont you want me to touch you anymore?"

"Its not like I dont want you to touch me. I want it. I need it, Arthur. Its just....that part of my body you just touched. I feel pretty insecure about my belly."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"I...I didnt knew ....you never said anything..."

"I know....I didnt knew how to"

Arthur rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on .

"You trust me, right?"

"Sure I do"

"You can tell me anything, Y/N. I asure you. I will listen. I am a good listener. People never listened to me and I know how it feels like to be unheard. So I always listen"

You layed your hand on his thigh "I know...I guess I was afraid you would reject me when I tell you that I dont like my belly to be touched."

Arthur took you in his arms "How could you ever think I would reject you? "

"I`m sorry, Arthur"

"Me,too. But...can I ask you a question?" he faced you again as you nodded.

"Why are you feeling this way about your belly? Its beautiful."

You looked down. It was hard to look in his intense eyes while talking about this "No,its not. It`s not beautiful".

"To me it is. " Arthur whispered softly "Its a part of you. A part of the woman I love and worship. I adore every aspect of your soul and every inch of your body equaly. "

"Oh Arthur...I dont know what to say..."

"If you dont want me to touch it I wouldnt do it again but please know that your belly deserves love,too. It deserves to be touched. To be kissed."

A silent tear fell from your eyes. Arthur was there to wipe it away with his fingertip.

"Remember when I was ashamed of being so skinny? Of my bones sticking out? You told me I was beautiful this way. "

"I remember. Because you are!"

Arthur kissed your cheek "And so are you!"

His kiss felt like a cure to your sadness.

"You kissed across my ribs and shoulder bone. Telling me that there is nothing to be ashamed about."

You nodded.

"Would you allow me to do the same to you?" Arturs green eyes pierced you with admiration. He was serious. He loved anything about you, even the parts you disliked so much.

"You mean....?"

"Yeah....only if you want me to do it of course. I wouldnt ask you again if you dont want to."

You tried to collect your thoughts. He was right about how you kissed his insecurities away. Maybe it would work the other way around,too. You trusted him with that. More than anything.

"Okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes I am....sure. I mean...lets..try it. "

Arthur gently pushed you into the sheets.

"I´m gonna put my lips to your beautiful belly now, okay? Just tell me to stop if you dont feel comfortable."

"OKay, Artie. I trust you".

A moment later you felt his lips on your tummy. Your body froze for a second. You werent used to let yourself relax in such an intimate way.

At first it was barely a touch. His upper lp felt like a butterfly landing on your skin.

"Is that okay?" he asked.

"Yes"

His lips slowly opened before his warm breath was ghosting across your skin.

A gentls kiss. Softly. And another.

Your muscles finally relaxed under his touch.

"You`re so beautiful, my angel. I`m so lucky to be able to kiss you. To love you like that."

Arthur covered your belly with sweet kisses while you played with his hair.

He was your cure.

Your medicine.

And with every kiss you found salvation.

[novus-ordo-seclorem]

Remember

Fanfic time! Will continue this after I’ve gone to work and had sleep etc.

Fandom: Hitman

Ship: Lucasx47, A/B/O dynamics thrown in.

Rating: Mature

-

The shadows lengthened, climbing the ancient wallpaper across the opposite wall.  Dust motes drifted in the icy stillness, the Romanian wilds beyond the broken windowpanes silent, a void of sound.  Something called, however. Something echoed from the cathedral of his mind.

"You don't remember,"  the stranger said, "but I do."

The pistol wavered a moment, before slowly lowering.

"Who am I?"  the Shadow Client insisted.  "What did they call me?"

It escaped the hitman's mouth in a gush of warm breath, a revelation.

"Subject 6."

-  -  -  -  -

47 peered at the red-brown prescription bottle, lips pulled tightly between his teeth.  The collection of little yellow tablets within rattled as he turned it to read the sideways instructions in bold, black type-face.

"CAUTION: TAKE WITH FOOD AT THE SAME TIME DAILY. LIMIT EXPOSURE TO ALPHA-CONTROLLED SPACES FOR FULL EFFECT."

He uncapped the bottle and tapped out one. The offensive taste was terrible enough, which was why he chased it down with liquor.  But it was a necessary evil - chemically cauterizing the one thing that made him feel anything.  Even the pleasure of listening to beautiful music was robbed from him.  Connecting with other people was useless - he'd never be able to empathize.  To understand.  Burned all away to keep his omega instincts at bay.

To keep him from being reduced to a drooling,  desperate omega in the throes of heat, aching for any cock to fill him, he must cut away all the pieces that made him remotely human.

He thought about Grey. Subject 6.   The strange muted, undeniable pull of want.

Making the slightest face, he tossed the pill under his tongue, and cupped his hands under the faucet for water to drink it down.

He emptied the rest of the bottle down the toilet.

-----

He remembered what Lucas had said during the long drive to the hotel with him.  What Providence had done to all of the Alpha clones. They had tried to run away once.  Lucas had gotten away, only because 47 willed it. He gave himself up so that Lucas could live.  Any other Alphas were euthanized like dogs and burned to ashes.

Then Ort-Meyer had erased Forty-Seven's memories of anyone or anything so he would never attempt such a daring escape again.  His prized specimen to control, admire. Use.

"You were the last, and only," he explained.  "An army of willful Alpha assassins would have been useless to him. You were the key.  Your blood would have been their template.  Obedient, medicated, disciplined Omegas to do their bidding."

"And now?"

"They still can't control you.  And they never will."  He smiled then. "They're going to pay, Forty-Seven. We're going to make them pay."

While Lucas drove them through a quiet Romanian suburb, he closed his eyes and tried to clutch at sleep.  The timber of Grey's voice thrummed within him long after he had gone silent.  Bassy, deep, and filling his head like a warm, dark cup of rich sound.  It was achingly familiar and kept him from truly lulling into slumber.

Everything yearned for Grey and he couldn't begin to understand why.  He was determined, terrified, to discover what this feeling meant.

---

Three nights later, underneath Grey's scrutiny, he couldn't stop his palms from sweating.  He was the unflappable agent and yet he felt like a school boy in the principal's office.  Whenever he met his forest green eyes he did not find judgment or malice, only calm warmth... and sadness.

Grey held a glass of amber liquid on his thigh, the picture of repose as he relaxed.  The security of the location permitted him a sense of personal agency - jacket thrown over the back of a dining room chair, shirt untucked from his trousers,  the sleeves of his sweater rolled up to reveal the structured wiry muscle in his forearms, veins and scars in stark relief.

Forty-Seven was desperate not to stare at them.

The hitman busied himself with preparation;  idle hands were the devil's playground.

He disassembled the two firearms he brought with him when he went to the asylum and with his usual meticulous manner he cleaned and assessed them, polished them again.  All the while feeling the measure of the Alpha's gaze on his shoulder.

Lucas drained the glass at last, sliding the empty tumbler to the coffee table with extra care.  "How much can you remember?  Anything at all, besides my name?"

47 pressed the firing pin back into the slide carefully, using a small narrow tool until it clicked into place near the other side of the stock.  Click.  "I remember... that room. Vaguely.  As if it's all underwater.  Voices... garbled.  Faces are blurry."  He paused, an imperceptible crease at his brow with a frown.  "I'm sorry.  I can't."

"But you remember me.  Our promise."

"Yes.  I remember you with absolute certainty."  

"Good."   Lucas found some sense of relief and satisfaction in this.  But nothing quite touched the distant quality of his gaze.  He exhaled slowly.  "You take suppressants?"  

The intrusive question was so jarring, he dropped the next piece.  He fumbled to pick it up again.  "I choose to.  Even if it wasn't mandated by the ICA, I can't work efficiently unless..."

He let the idea finish itself, and Lucas didn't elaborate for him.  Instead the silence fell comfortably again.

47 finished at last.

He felt Lucas standing then.  The creak of the chair and the soft footstep as he closed the small distance between them.

He put his hand softly onto the nape of his neck,  light as could be.  The warmth of his body built and occupied the small space between skin and skin, radiating.  For a moment Lucas Grey left his hand there, until each of his digits relaxed and he caressed the back of his neck.

Ice water seemed to flood the hitman's belly.  He sat, rigid-backed, paralyzed by the sudden advance.  Rather than recoil, however, he stayed where he was. It wasn't fear that held him fast.

"I remember the first night you had your first heat.  By the time I knew what was even happening, the others... had you.  I fought them off you.  I took you away and we hid anywhere I knew they couldn't reach us."  The hushed quality of his voice almost broke him.  There was the slightest pause before Forty-seven leaned closer to him.  "Do you remember?"

"No,"  47 whispered.

"I knew then, I'd kill anyone who would hurt you.  You trusted me.  I'd rather die than break that trust."  

His warm skin whispered against his, until he cupped his cheek, thumb against his cheekbone.  

"I've spent years searching for you."  Lucas's demeanor crumbled next, and his voice shook with unbridled, tumultuous emotion.  His breathing deepened and then hitched, as his olfactory sense hooked on something.  It hit him solidly, the intrusive hyper-awareness of an omega in the room.  His familiar scent was heavy and aromatic. Like clove cigarettes, spicy and pungent. "Forty-Seven."  

The softest murmur of apology escaped the hitman's lips, even as he canted his head to the hand against his cheek.  Nose to his wrist, gathering every particle of Lucas Grey into him. He looked up then with a dazed, mystified quality to his arctic blue eyes.  

"What have you done?" Lucas hissed.  

"I want to remember."

"You- by not taking your suppressants? How long have you--?  When was the last time you had them?"

"Three days ago."

Lucas stepped back away from him, eyes vividly bright.  "Where are they?"

"Gone."

"What? What do you mean ‘gone’?"

"I threw them away."

"Jesus Christ."    Grey's hands covered his face, rubbing at his closed eyes with the heels of his hands.  Emotion, whatever it had been, now boiled down into earnest desperate concern. "You can't do that. You know what happens. Cold turkey like that, you'll..."

The hitman cringed from him.  He knew. Of course he knew.  It was a calculated action and a very stupid, stupid risk.  His fingers clung into the edge of his seat.  Cold sweat crept along his flesh, growing more feverish by the second.   Then he looked up to level his gaze at the other male, heavy with conviction.  "Help me. Please."

Lucas' hands fell to his sides. His jaw slackened. His mind flooded with those sweetened memories he clung to so dearly, and the boyish face of their teenage years became the man who sat before him now, entreating him with that look.  He hardly had to look to know that by now the hitman was hard for him, drenched in sweat and urgency, waiting for him.

He peeled his eyes away from his lower belly and focused. He held out his hand.  Shaking 47 reached to take it, and he drew in a second lungful of him.  Heard that his childhood friend was doing much the same as he stood up and stepped into the circle of his arms.  He smelled so good.  He drew him in and felt the omega's hands shift to cling to the back of his shirt.  Through his chest and shirt, he felt his heart slamming.

"Help me remember you,"  he heard him say.  

"Like this?"  

"Is there any other way?"  

"There could be."    Lucas fought to keep his hands still, to keep from tearing 47's silk shirt from his skin. As it was, he found himself marveling at his muscular back, pressing against sheets of sinew and muscle.

"But you want this,"  the other noted, his words slurred now, drunk on the power Lucas now held sway over him.  Even so, he was shaking.   He was terrified.

Lucas's heart broke a thousand times over again. He wanted too much, too quickly.  He wanted to ravage and claim him for himself all over again.  He drew back a step, blinking for clarity.  "Come with me.  I won't hurt you."

He pulled at his wrist, and 47 resisted a moment longer before he obeyed, unshrinking from the crashing realization of what was to happen in the next room, in the bed-too-large-for-one.  

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

The Intern | Part Eight

Series Summary: You move to New York to focus on your art but end up working as an intern at Stark Enterprises

Chapter Summary: as you're getting to grips with your new life after the serum, Tony decides you need a break

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader, Steve Rogers x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1707

Warnings: things get a little hot at the end...

A/N: this story does not follow the same timeline as the movies. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :) if you want to be added to the taglist please drop me a message in my ask box

Part Seven | Masterlist

- - - - - 

Its been a few days since you took the rest of the serum and you’ve just about got to grips with your new strength. It’s been difficult. Not only were you getting used to being a lot stronger, you also found your senses were heightened. Smells, sounds, lights were all so much more stronger, louder and brighter now. Occasionally you found it all a bit overwhelming and would have to retreat to the quiet dark space that is your room. 

You found it difficult to sleep at night. You had a lot more energy now but no way of expending it so when you get in to bed at night you just lie there staring at the ceiling until you eventually drift of. Or you would wonder around the compound in the early hours, exploring. One night you found Steve sitting by himself in the living area. 

“what are you doing up so late?” You ask as you walk into the room, pulling Steve from his thoughts.

“I could ask you the same thing”

“yeah but, I asked first” you respond with a smile as you sit on the sofa opposite him. 

“just cant sleep, too much to think about right now” 

You nod your head in agreement. 

“with everything you’ve been through lately your head must be spinning” He changes the subject, trying to shift attention onto you.

“you could say that” you smile weakly.

“want to talk about it?” He asks. 

“I hope you don't mind me asking this but uh, how did you feel? After the whole, ‘super soldier serum’ thing. Did you still think of yourself as the same person you were before? Or was pre-serum Steve a completely separate person?” 

Steve looks at you for a moment, thinking.

“I don't know. I guess, physically I was different but mentally, I was still the same person. But now looking back, I’m completely different to who I was before. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

You look at him confused. 

“what I’m trying to say is; although what happened to you wasn’t good, that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. And you can still be the same person while also being different. Does that make sense?”

“not really” you say, laughing slightly “but not a lot does these days”

The two of you spend a while chatting, Steve telling you about his days in the war until finally you start to yawn and he insists that you should both so to sleep. 

— — — — 

Today was your first day back in training with Natasha. You were slightly nervous after what happened last time but Nat assured you she could handle it, and by the end of the session you felt a lot more comfortable that you were in control of your new strength. After training you went back to your room for a shower and change of clothes. As you were searching the closet for something to wear you hear a knock at the door.

“come in” you shout.

“hey y/n just came to see- oh shit” Tony stop suddenly when he sees you in your bath robe, he turns away shielding his eyes embarrassed “sorry, I didn’t realise…”

“Tony it’s fine” you laugh “it’s not like I’m naked or anything”

“shame” Tony mutters under his breath and you pretend not to hear “well you better get some clothes on quick, we’re going out”

“what? where?” You ask, walking out of the closet to meet Tony

“its a surprise” he smiles “just get dressed and meet me downstairs when you're ready” 

He leaves you alone and you quickly throw on some clothes and dry your hair. You almost run down to the front door where Tony is waiting for you. He holds his arm out and you link yours around it. He walks you out to the car and opens the passenger door for you to get in before walking around to the drivers side and getting himself in. 

“wait, you’re driving? Where’s Happy?” You ask

“I gave him the day off, today its just you and me” he smiles, putting his sunglasses on and starting the car. He presses a button on the radio and an AC/DC song plays through the speakers. 

During the journey you try to find out from him where you are going but he won’t tell you. After about half an hour you feel your eyes getting heavy, staying up late last night and having to get up early this morning for training clearly made you tired. You give in and let yourself drift off to sleep. 

You wake up when you feel the car come to a stop and Tony gently puts his hand on your shoulder. 

“surprise” he says happily as you look through the window and instantly recognise where you are. 

You're at the beach you used to go to as a kid, the one from the painting in your apartment. You cant believe Tony remembered, and actually found the beach. You feel your eyes well up slightly.

“Tony-“ you whisper but you cant find the words. 

Tony reaches behind your seat and pulls out a basket. 

“I made us a picnic. Things have been a bit stressful lately, I thought it would be nice to just have fun and relax.”

“this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you” 

Tony just smiles at you. 

You make your way down to the beach and Tony sets out a blanket for you both to sit on. 

“did you really make this yourself?” You ask, taking a bite of a sandwich. 

“yes!” He replies and you raise your eyebrows at him. “okay Vision helped, but I did make it! He mostly just watched to make sure I didn’t set fire to anything”

“wait, how can you set fire to a sandwich?” You ask laughing. 

“you’d be surprised the things I’ve set fire to…”

After you’ve eaten the surprisingly nice food Tony made for you he takes your hand and walks you down to the edge of the sea. The beach is empty apart from the two of you so you don't have to worry about leaving your stuff on the sand. You stand and watch as the waves of the sea wash over your feet, taking you back to memories from your childhood of doing the same thing. You’ve always loved the feeling of the sea and sand in your toes. 

You feel a splash of water hit you as Tony kicks water playfully at you, pulling your attention back to him. You gasp and kick water back which starts a full on water fight. You run towards Tony with the intention of splashing him but trip over your own feet and fall into him, knocking him down. He grabs you as he falls, pulling you down with him onto the sand. You both burst out laughing and you realise that you haven’t laughed this much in a long time. You look down at Tony lying under you and your heart flutters when his eyes meet yours. Without hesitation you lean in and kiss him and he kisses you back deeply, his arms around you hugging you tightly like he’s afraid to let you go. Suddenly a massive wave crashes over you, soaking you both as you squeal and laugh. You both get up and head back to the your little picnic area where Tony pulls a towel from a bag and wraps it around your shoulders. He sits down next to you and you rest your head on his shoulder. The two of you sit in silence watching the sunset over the sea, just like how you painted it. 

— — — — 

When you arrive back at the compound you're tired from the long journey so Tony walks you up to your room. When you reach the door he stops and you turn around to look at him. 

“well, goodnight then” he says and goes to leave.

“Tony!” You call and he stops “do you maybe wanna come in?” You ask, suddenly feeling shy. 

“are you sure?” He replies, not wanting to seem eager. You smile and nod. He smiles back and walks into your room. You sit together on your bed and talk for a while.

“thank you so much for today” 

“you don't have to thank me” Tony replies

“no, I mean it. I really needed that today. You know after everything thats happened, it was so nice to get away from everything and just be normal for a while. I loved it” you pause, afraid of how he’s going to react to what you say next “and I love you” you finally say, watching his facial expressions but he just stares into your eyes like he searching for something. His hand reaches the side of your face and he pulls you in close to him. Your lips meet. It’s different than any other time, there’s more passion now. He carefully leans you back till you're lying under him, his tongue finding his way into your mouth. He pulls away and looks deeply into your eyes. 

“I love you too y/n” he says before kissing you again, trailing down onto your neck causing a small moan to escape your lips. Your hands start exploring his body and you begin to lift his shirt up. He sits up to allow you to pull it up over his head and throw it to the floor. You run your hand over his chest, trailing a finger over the small blue glowing plate over his heart. He puts his hand over yours. 

“Does this bother you?” He asks, almost looking embarrassed by it.

“This keeps you alive?” You reply and he nods.

“then I think it’s amazing. If it’s a part of you, how could I not love it” you smile and plant a kiss on his chest, trailing kisses up his jawline and back to his lips as you start unbuckling his belt.

As your kisses get even more passionate your clothes end up thrown all over the room as the two of you fall back down into bed together. 

One thing was for sure, you slept great that night. 

part nine

Taglist: @brownbuble​, @shookie-shookie​, @thebuckysoldier​, @chai–chae​, @ilovespideyyy​, @sunflowers-and-snowdrops​

[riotwritesthings]

Kinktober 2019 Day 17

Masturbation | Collaring

SteveTony, E, 2.4k | AO3

once upon a time, @tcnystcnks mentioned something about Tony in Steve’s shirt and dogtags and nothing else. I am easily influenced. So here we are. This one’s for you, BB!

-

Steve’s dog tags feel heavy around his neck. They’re not, Tony even weighed them, just to be sure, and they weight no more no less than any other set of military issued dog tags. They still feel impossibly heavy though. They felt heavy when Steve first dropped in them into Tony’s open palm before leaving on a week long mission. They felt heavy the first four days that Tony carried them around in his pocket, and they felt especially heavy when he finally gave in and looped them around his neck, telling himself 'only three more days.'

The day that Steve is supposed to come back, Tony gets nothing done. He keeps getting distracted, finds himself staring into space and rubbing his thumb over the raised words on the dog tags, his thumbnail catching on the 'R'of Steve’s name. Halfway through the day, when he finds out Steve’s transport home has been delayed, Tony gives up on being productive and stomps off to his room to pout and mope. Which mostly means curling up in bed in one of Steve’s shirts despite the fact that it’s hilariously huge on him and twisting the chain around and around and around his neck, not at all watching whatever movie he ended up putting on for background noise.

Tony doesn’t have an alert set up for when Steve gets back to the tower, because that would be sad and obsessive and clingy, which Tony is not. Except he is, he is all of those things, they haven’t been apart this long since they started dating and Tony is losing his mind a little bit. Even when he has business meetings he actually has to go to in person, Tony just brings Steve with him, doesn’t want to spend a single day without Steve’s bright smile and warm eyes. But apparently SHIELD drew the line at letting Captain America’ s clingy boyfriend just tag along on some kind of super secret dark mission. Crazy.

When Tony’s Clingy Alarm goes off his first instinct is to run across the tower and literally fling himself at Steve the second he walks out of the elevator, but Natasha might actually follow through on that threat to turn a hose on them if she catches them making out in the common areas again. Plus, he would have to put on pants. And he’s kind of already half hard, after spending a good chunk of the day in bed wrapped up in Steve-smell, thinking of all the things they should do as soon as Steve gets home.

So Tony decides on a different tactic and kicks off his boxers, sprawls out in the center of the bed in just Steve’s shirt and Steve’s dog tags, palming at his cock and quickly bringing himself to full hardness. It takes barely any effort, it's been a full week and sue him, Tony is repressed, and just the thought that in a couple minutes he’ll have Steve’s hands on him again has him choking down a soft sound, rocking his hips up to shove his cock harder into his own fist.

Steve must have asked JARVIS where to find him, because not a minute later Steve pushes open the bedroom store with an excited, if confused, look on his face, like he’s trying to figure out why Tony hadn’t jumped him at the elevator. As soon as his eyes land on Tony he freezes, audibly sucking in a harsh breath as his eyes darken and his face flushes red.

“Oh my, I forgot you were coming home,” Tony says, all mock-surprised and trying to fight down his smirk, “how very embarrassing for me.”

“You-“ Steve starts and then stops, trying to look unimpressed but it’s not really working because his eyes keep dragging down Tony's body to watch his hand move slow and lazy over his cock.

Tony’s smirk widens as his hips jerk under the heavy weight of Steve’s gaze, bead of moisture gathering the tip of his cock. Steve makes another strangled sound, eyes flickering from Tony’s cock to he dog tags laying against his chest like he can’t decide which is hotter, and Tony has just enough time to laugh before Steve starts aggressively stripping out of all his clothes and throws himself onto the bed. Tony’s laughter gets cut off by Steve’s mouth crashing against his in a series of short, desperate kisses.

“You-“ Steve tries again, one big hand sliding up Tony's chest beneath the stolen shirt as he kisses and nips along Tony’s jaw, “You’re wearing them,” Steve breathes out, sounding overwhelmed and Tony feels his own face flush slightly.

“I missed you,” Tony says, like he’s confessing to some terrible secret, but oh it’ s so worth it for the way Steve pulls back just enough to smile at him, big and bright and enough to make Tony’s already racing heart lurch hard in his chest. “I missed you,” Tony says again, wraps both hands around the back of Steve’s neck and yanks him down close enough to kiss agin, arches up to grand his aching cook against Steve’s stomach. “C’mon, sweetheart, I need you."

“Then maybe you shouldn't have started without me,“ Steve says sweetly, hint of a smirk to his voice. Tony has just enough time to think ‘oh no, I’m in trouble’ before Steve is kissing him for real, deep and hungry and all Tony can do is focus on giving back as good as he gets. There’s really no way of knowing how long they spend just laying the er kissing, hands roaming, relearning every inch of each other like they’ve been apart for way longer than a week, until Tony’s lips tingle and his head is spinning.

Eventually Steve pulls away just enough to speak against Tony’s lips as he says “hold this for me.” Tony has enough time to open his eyes and wonder what the hell Steve is talking about, and then Steve is pressing the the dog tags between his lips. Tony bites down on them on instinct, a strangled groan escaping as his teeth click against the metal. Steve just smirks at him, small and wicked and Tony groans again, sound going high and pitiful at the end as Steve pulls further away. Turns out he doesn’t need to worry though, as Steve immediately starts shoving the oversized shirt up Tony’s chest and leaning down to bite at his stomach and hips, batting Tony's had out of the way to breathe out hot over Tony’s leaking cock, making it twitch.

Tony can't beg or plead or demand, not with the metal tags clenched between his teeth, can only make muffled desperate noises that have Steve’s smirk growing before he finally, finally takes the head of Tony’s cock between his lips. Tony jerks hard, a loud whine caught in his throat as Steve continues to take his goddamn time, sucking Tony down one inch at a time, strong hands holding Tony in place as he thrashes and clutches at the sheets.

No amount of pitiful noises or flailing limbs can convince Steve to hurry the hell up, and by the time Steve starts fingering him open Tony has been reduced to shaking and making soft, wet noises around the dog tags sit clenched between his teeth. Each new finger added has Tony shuddering, trying desperately to grind himself down against Steve’ s hand or thrust up into Steve’s hot, perfect mouth.

When Steve lets Tony ’s cock slip free of his lisp with a wet pop Tony can’t help the sound that bursts out of him, nearly a sob as he thumps his head back against he bed. Steve rests his forehead against Tony’s hip for a moment, his breathing ragged as well and that always makes Tony feel a little better, knowing Steve is going just as crazy as he is.

“Always open up so gorgeous for me,” Steve breathes out, low and rough, three fingers pressing deep inside Tony, stretching him open with the most amazing ache. “Thought about this the whole time I was gone,” Steve continues, lips brushing over the skin of Tony ’s hip, down over his thigh, “couldn’t wait to get home and get my hands on you again, feel you fall apart for me.”

Tony’s mouth falls open on a loud cry as Steve’s fingers slink into him hard, jabbing ruthlessly at his prostate until Tony’s vision goes a little sideways. “Steve, honey, please,” Tony, finally, finally begs, dog tags falling down against his throat with a soft clink that's mostly drowned out by Tony’ s next loud moan. “Please,” Tony starts, then gets cut off when the room abruptly spins. Tony blinks in confusion for a second as he suddenly finds himself face down in the sheets, then groans again as Steve tugs him up to his hand an knees, the perfect amount of rough.

“Impatient,” Steve chides, like he’s not equally breathless, like Tony hadn’t seen the dark flush on his face. He pushes the shirt up Tony’s back, big hand spread wide over the dip of his spine and Tony whines. He rocks back against Steve’s hips presses up snug to his ass, Steve’s cock already slicked up and sliding against his twitching, empty hole, and every time he moves the dog tags still hanging around Tony’s neck shift and clink together.

Tony whines again when Steve doesn’t do anything else, just settles his hands on Tony ’s hips and lets Tony writhe against him. “C’mon, Steve, it’s been too long for you to be teasing me like this, you- Ah!” Tony cuts off with a loud moan as Steve shifts and the next time Tony rocks back the head of Steve’s thick cock catches on his rim, starts pressing into him. “Fuck, fuck, oh my god-“ Tony gasps out as he starts pressing himself back harder on every roll of his hips, taking Steve in further, working himself down onto Steve’s cock until his hips are pressed tight to Tony’s ass again. “God, Steve- ohhh fuck-“ Tony groans, letting his head hanging down between his shaking arms and taking deep gasping breaths as he tries to adjust to the stretch, hips still twitching restlessly, shifting Steve’s cock inside him.

“So fucking tight, Tony- damn you feel so good,” Steve groans, and Tony whimpers because Steve doesn’t actually swear that often, and when he does it’s usually because he’s so worked up he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Tony is about to get so vigorously fucked, and for a second he cant breathe around the anticipation of it. Sure enough, with one more soft "fuck", Steve tightens his grip on Tony's hips, pulls out slowly, and then slams back into him hard.

Tony wails, spine arching sharply, locking his elbows to properly brace himself and shove himself back to meet Steve's next thrust. Tony loses himself to the rhythm of it, Steve's hips slapping against his ass, punching gasps and moans out of him every time Steve's cock splits him open again, pressing so deep inside him, the quiet clatter of the tags around his neck every time Tony jolts forward.

“Steve, Steve- fuck-“ Tony groans as Steve thrusts into him harder, nearly shoving Tony up the bed with every snap of his hips, until Tony's elbows give out and Tony finds himself face planting into the sheets, crying out again as it shifts the angle and Steve's next couple thrusts nail his prostate dead on. "Steve, Steve," Tony whines, like it's the only word he knows, clawing at the blankets as every perfect slide of Steve's cock inside him drags him closer to the edge, his stomach in burning knots.

One of Steve's hands leaves his hip, but Tony doesn't have the brainpower to wonder about it until Steve's fingers tangle in the chain of the dog tags, pulling it tight against Tony's neck. "Oh," Tony says quietly, the sound nearly punched out of him, and then groans loudly as Steve hauls him upright, still fucking into him with short, deep thrusts.

"How long have you actually been wearing these?" Steve asks, lips pressed to Tony's ear, shaking the chain a little so the tags rattle noisily. Tony just drops his head back against Steve's shoulder with a loud whine, because how is he supposed to form words when Steves cock is pounding relentlessly into his prostate. "Tell me," Steve demands and apparently the fact that he's breathless doesn't stop him from using his Commanding voice, his other hand sliding from Tony's hip to his stomach, fingers creeping towards Tony's cock almost tauntingly.

"Fuck," Tony moans, throwing one hand back blindly, grabbing at Steve's hip just for something to hold onto. "T- three days," Tony admits, voice nearly a wheeze, entire body tensing up and he's close, he's so close, thrashing and writhing in Steve's hold, tying in vain to shove himself back harder onto Steve's cock, trying to wiggle Steve's hand closer to his own throbbing cook.

Finally, finally, Steve's fingers close around Tony's cock and even as every muscle of Tony’s body clenches up hard, Steve tightens his hold on the chain around Tony's neck and quietly demands "are they heavy?"

Tony all out screams as he comes, orgasm wracking through him, entire body shaking so hard that Steve has to release the chain and clamp an arm over his chest to keep him in place. All Tony can do is whimper when Steve shoves forward, bares him down flat against the bed again, thrusting into Tony's trembling body, making him whimper weakly until Steve finally comes with a drawn out groan.

Tony huffs softly in protest when Steve sprawls out heavy half on top of him, but doesn't actually try to wiggle free as they lay there and slowly catch their breath.

"I missed you too," Steve says eventually, his mouth pressed to Tony's shoulder, voice lazy and blissed out.

Tony laughs softly, finally shifts enough that he can turn his head and grin at Steve. "Oh good, I was so worried," Tony says sarcastically and gets treated to Steve's sleepy laugh. Its one of Tony's all-time favorite Steve laughs. Tony is so busy smiling dopily that it takes him a second to notice the dog tags digging into his face, and even as he lifts his head to dig them free Tony feels a grin taking over his face. "So I'm keeping these, just for the record," he says seriously, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the raised words again.

"Good," Steve says, expression somewhere between fond and possessive. He reaches out and drags a thumb over Tony's throat, where Tony can already feel the little divots left by the balls of the chain digging in, then leans in to press a sweet kiss to Tony's lips. Good."