#'how about a friggin roller coaster!!'

[thepradapariah]

Mars ☄️ and Your Sexxx Language 🐱💋✨

QUICK MESSAGE TO THE BADDIES

HELLO!!!! To all of my sweet, sweet Kosmic Baddies, Oh!! How I’ve missed you!

I cannot believe it’s been over a FRIGGIN year, but GOODNESS….believe me, when I say this past year has been a roller coaster for me, I truly mean it. I can only imagine what’s been going on in your lives as well. Just TOO MUCH!!!1111!!!!!111!!!!!1 But welcome to 2024! A universal 8 year and the year of the Dragon!!! WE IN THIS THANNNNGGG!!!! Hard work, discipline and accountability is the theme, and we can’t lose!!!!!

Believe it or not, I actually STARTED writing this to have to you for Halloween, but ummmm….this is looking like a Valentine’s Day post instead! HA!!!! Blame it on my Saturn in Pisces– my relationship to time is….non existent. But, I think this timing is better anyways. The theme is very fitting so we are going to turn apples into oranges.

***Even funnier update, now it’s past Valentine’s Day….GOODNESS!!! This has been the longest it’s taken me to write anything. Like…INSANE. Almost 6 months I’ve been steadily working on this!

Thank you to those who have continued to support me! Thank you to those who have continued to share and interact with my post through my…let’s say, hiatus! I am planning to put more energy and effort into this blog post. I LOVE writing for y’all, it is really one of my favorite things in the world.

I am going to take a moment to apologize in advance and say, the typos are probably going to be real with this one. Because I’ve been working on it for so long, I’m just ready to get it out, so it won’t be my cleanest work. I will probably be updating and editing, so bare with me!

🕯 INTRODUCTION 🕯

Sooooo….where to start? I wanted to do something fun and interesting this go round because I missed y’all so much, but I also wanted to do something light so I could get back into the rhythm of writing again….aaaaaaaaaand I thought you would enjoy something a little smexiiiii as we move into cuddle buddy season. So, in this post, we are going to talk about Mars and Your Sexxx language.

One day, as I was driving around town, it dawned on me that we always talk about Love Languages (check out my Mercury post if you haven’t already) and we never talk about sex languages. And y’all know me, and if you don’t know, you’ll soon find out, I am a Bharani moon (atmakaraka at that); and the blending between Mars and Venus is my soul’s most valuable asset to share with the world…(Did I mention my moon is the 11th House?) Sex is one of the most taboo topics (in Western puritan culture, at least), yet such a powerful resource in our human tool box and it’s ridiculously important in our relationships. The 7th House is followed by the 8th House for a reason. Intimacy, of course not always sexual, is what leads to self-discovery, the 9th House. So we cannot overlook the important step that is sexual relations. Even the word “orgasm” means “little death” and death baby, is as close as you get to God. (See how those houses flow together so well?) Hence why things such as Tantra are a sexual AND religious experience all in one. Don’t be fooled by western/christian ideals into thinking that sex is unholy or ungodly. If you think Jesus was a virgin, think again. I mean, what’s the point of turning water into wine if you’re just going to roll over and go to sleep? Y’know what I mean?

Don’t worry! If you’re a less experienced reader, and haven’t engaged in aaaaallll thhhaattt… this post is still for you! In fact, this is one of the reasons I love astrology so much, because hopefully this post will give you some context about yourself and what your SOUL craves, not just your body, so when you do start “doing the do” you can be spiritually comfortable with your wants and desires instead of ashamed or even afraid of them.

Not to put all my business on the street…but, hey, I love y’all, so I won’t keep too many secrets from you (mercury in the 8th, HA)…but, I had to do quite a bit of bumping and grinding to discover what my soul needs in an intimate relationship and I wish there was more of “guide” for me on that journey! So HERE…I’m giving it to you!

WHAT IS A SEX LANGUAGE? 😈

To be completely honest, a “sex language” isn’t something as defined as a love language, so please, bear with me as we discover this together. Please feel free to share any experiences or insight with me. Although I may not always respond, I TRULY appreciate you taking the time to share with me. I try to read everything that I can!

I’m defining sex language as how one creates and shares intimacy in their close relationships. This is particularly expressed through physical interactions and outward expressions. Mars is a planet that governs our passions, drives and desires, meaning our sex language is guided by what we deeply want and crave from our partners on a spiritual level. Venus represents more of the external notions that we have for love and relationships, while Mars represents our internal needs from love and relationships. Mars is inherently a more personal and “self-centered” planet, so interestingly enough, your sex language is all about you! I go as far to say, when you find a partner, don’t forget to check your Mars compatibility as well. If you have extremely incompatible Mars signs, you will have to do a lot more work in the relationship to overcome the constant friction. Moreover, if you have more compatible Mars signs, then WOOOO BABY, the sexual tension could be off the charts!

✨ ABOUT MARS ✨

Mars placements won’t make or break a relationship, per say, but it is a very important layer to help maintain a relationship. How many of you have heard of sexless marriages and people being unsatisfied in their relationships in a sexual way? Does that mean the couples always break-up because of the lack of sex or chemistry? No…..But does it help a HECK OF A LOT when you are wildly attracted to your partner? YES! (Of course this isn’t always a good thing…but for the sake of this post, we are only talking about rainbows and sunshine.) Just keep this in mind as you start to use this knowledge in your journey. Mars is a really important planet that is easy to overlook because it’s not in the Big Three! (Yet, it iiissss the natural ruler of the 1st House).

WHY IT ALL MATTERS 🌚

I truly believe there is a shift in the collective and many couples are going to be coming into union over the course of the next year or so. Why? Because Ketu is FINALLY transitioning out of Libra and entering Virgo. If you’ve noticed, we’ve seen quite a bit of celebrity break-ups and covid relationships coming to a screeching halt. Hence why I say, if you’ve been single, or haven’t been in a serious connection in the last few years or even ever, now is the time that your next partner might be going through some significant ending with an ex. Union is on the horizon for a lot of souls who have been doing theeee spiritual work. That’s why I couldn’t think of a better topic to get started to set the mooooooooood. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

So without further ado, let’s get into the nitty gritty. I’m going to do something different and start with Mars in Pisces/12th House and work backwards to Mars in Aries/1st House! I thought “Hey! Why not switch it up a bit? Pisces shouldn’t be forced to scroll ALL the time!”

***Note: If you’re feeling extra spicy, you can read for whatever sign is in your 1st House and 8th House as well because those are traditionally Mars ruled Houses. And you can read for your 12H, because the 12H is also the house of bedroom pleasures! Always keep in mind that we are complex creatures and astrology is like a puzzle, so it’s okay for some things to resonate and other things to not. Learn as many perspectives as possible so you can define yourself!

With Love & Lust,

Enjoy!

A-D 💋

Mars in Pisces/Mars in the 12th House

“Cut me like a rose, turn me like a beast” Only- Ry X

If your natal Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you may actually have a hard time knowing what your desires are. Why? Because Mars can feel as if it’s drowning in the deep spiritual waters of Pisces. Your wants can be quite dreamy. You crave a sexual experience that transcends space and time, forcing you to leave your body and touch God himself in ecstasy. (I’m a western Mars in Pisces, so…I get it). When it comes to your sex language, you want your partner to just get “you”. You don’t want to have to explain or talk or direct, you’d rather just receive and give a special type of unconditional love that knows no bounds. Because of this “boundless love”, you may actually, literally, lack boundaries. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, so we are going to focus on the positive. You are truly accepting of those who are accepting of you. Because Pisces is a mutable sign, you are willing to fit into whatever box your partner wants to put you in…and you receive great pleasure from making a deep seeded fantasy of your partner come true. You could be just as playful and imaginative when it comes to role-playing as a Gemini.

Because Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you’ll find that a lot of partners will project their wishes and dreams onto you. Hence why you want a love that is really deep, because people can get washed away in the shallow end of your energy without ever fully realizing how deep your waters flow. This can be frustrating. And because Mars isn’t the most comfortable here, you can have some unhealthy ways of expressing your sexual frustration. Particularly if your Mars is in the 12H, you can be attracted to self-gratification through self-pleasure and also self-harm. You may even conflate the two, harm & pleasure, and have a dark side to your sexual fantasies. Your passions and desires can end up being repressed because people may not understand them, or be able to meet your high expectations. Amd babes, I love you, but just know, your expectations out of partnership are OTHERWORLDLY. But no worries!! You are SUPER DUPER freaky and almost a guaranteed partner that will go down in history books, particularly after you get comfortable in your own sensuality.

One of the things to watch out for with this Mars, is you can be passive-aggressive in the bedroom. You can take a more passive role, expecting and energetically demanding that your partner take the lead. You may not realize you even give off this energy, but the internal need that you have to dissolve into your partner, like sugar into water, can be very intense. And the gag is, sugar doesn’t really fully dissolve, so what you’re seeking can be impossible to satisfy on the earthly plane. Because of this, it is IMPERATIVE for you to have spiritual outlets within your sexual connections. It may be that you and your partner practice Tantra, or you simply pray together. With this Mars, you can absolutely use sex as a tool for manifestation. Watch your thoughts during sex, because you truly can create MAGIK!

Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th House

“I believe in aliens, I don’t believe in love” Familiarity by Teezo Touchdown

If your natal Mars is in Aquarius or the 11th House, you are something special. Why? Because out of all the signs, you are the most unique lover. I KNOW!!! How friggin’ cliche, Aquarius=Unique, blah blah blah…boring. YES! It’s said all the time, but it’s the truth. In Vedic Astrology, it is important to note that Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and Rahu. This is hugely impactful as to why you are unlike anyone else. Even as you read this, you won’t be exactly like the next person reading this, because the Saturn Rahu combination can be influenced by so many different factors. Aquarians are the hardest sign to write for in general, simply because you are going to be very individualist when it comes to how you express yourself. Now, all that being said, you still crave, very deeply, a sense of belonging. So please, don’t ever take for granted how special you are. If someone is lucky enough to break through your hard exterior, they really are in for an extraterrestrial experience!

Because Mars is in an air sign here, you may or may not be the most sensual and/or sexual person on the planet. You could be. But you could not be. And that is the gift…or curse…of this Mars placement. I have Mars in Aquarius myself, and I remember reading an article that said “this placement can be infuriating to your partner because you are so nonchalant.” And I can definitely say I’ve lost relationships because the other party assumed I was disinterested because I wasn’t the most expressive when it came to my emotions. It’s important to remember that Mars in Aquarius/11H is actually a neutral placement. It isn’t a death sentence or the worst thing on the planet, but it’s not necessarily the best. So don’t be too hard on yourself if your partners don’t understand you very easily. You will just have to do more work to learn how to communicate and accommodate in your relationships. This may be something that follows you throughout life…and forget your partner….it could be infuriating to you! BUT NO WORRIES! Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th house is usually more concerned with developing and nurturing friendships, which seems to contradict the more lustful side of Mars. Longing for friendship and connection versus longing for sensual pleasure and connection can be seen as two different things.

What Mars in Aquarius/11H wants more than anything is L. O. Y. A. L. T. Y. Because this Mars placement can grant so much freedom, it is imperative for the person with this placement to feel safe and secure in the sexual relationship they are building. This is NOT to be confused with possession. Expecting loyalty from a partner isn’t the same as feeling as if you own your partner. You believe that your partner should have freedom to express and live their life the way they want to, and you expect the same in return. However, you do expect your partner to consider you when they make their decisions in life. It is very much “give a dog a bone, leave a dog alone, let a dog roam and he’ll find his way home” (S/o DMX, may he rest in peace). Meaning, in your sexual language, you want your space and privacy, but you want to feel a belonging no matter how far away you are from your partners.

NOW, for the fun stuff. You are one of the most explorative lovers on the planet. You may have a “the more the merrier” type attitude and be interested in group smexii time or oragies. You may have a dream to experience Amsterdam and the Red Light District. The beauty in having your Mars in an air sign/house is that you can remain detached from the sexual experience and partner– therefore, you may not experience jealousy because you aren’t super possessive. Again, you’re all about freedom baby!!! You may also have some pretty “far-out” kinks. You may be interested in different genders, or same gender, or mix gender or no gender or latex or pantyhoes or dress up or furries or hentai or tentacle porn….and if you’re not into it, chances are you will at least click a questionable link or two. You don’t carry the same shame as others do when it comes to what turns you on sexually. You don’t like anything boring or too routine, so your search history could be a bit…odd….BUT HEY!!! As long as it’s not hurting anyone or anything and pleasure is being derived from all parties involved, then let adults do what adults do is kind of your attitude.

Friendship is the key to your heart…and to your…uh…biological box….lol. When it comes to long-term relationships, I can bet my bottom dollar that you’re far more interested in the friendship aspects than the inherent relationship drama. When your friends ask “why are you still dealing with them”, you will follow up with “well, we are friends before anything else.” And you mean that deeply. The really funny thing is…on the other hand, you are also very likely to get down with complete strangers and never think about it again. You can hook-up and detach with the best of them, or your loyalty to a confidant can keep you in a relationship for a very long time…it. Just. depends.

The one thing that is true about your sex language, is that you speak ALL different kinds. When you look back at your life and your experiences, if you are more of an adventurous Aquarian, lets say you have a lot of air and fire in your chart, you will most likely have all kinds of stories from all different people and places. You will be one of the most interesting partners and friends to talk to about all the mixed bags of experiences that you’ve had..which is awesome. If your Mars in Aquarius/11H is paired with a more “earthy” sign or even water, you will most likely have a rom-com type love thing happening…that tugging “will they/won’t they” energy at the beginning of relationships, only to fall head over heals with the “guy/gal next door”. You may also find your sexual partners online, in a group setting or be hooked up by natural friends. “How’d you meet?” “Oh, I heard from a friend of a friend that that d*ck is a ten out of ten!”

Mars in Capricorn or Mars in the 10th House

“My vicious love, My lethal heart, I wanna screw you up into me” - Bad Bad Bad by Ramsey

If your natal Mars is in Capricorn or in the 10th House, then your sexual language is money, money…and….uh….more money. I kid, I kid…but not really. It would be easy and predictable for me to say you just lust after money, but it goes much deeper than that. Believe it or not, Mars is actually exalt in Capricorn, so, you couldn’t have a better Mars placement. Your natural ruler Saturn and Mars truly are the best of friends. And if you’re familiar with Tarot, then you know The Devil represents Capricorn energy and The Devil is all about seduction and temptation. Unlike some of the more dreamy Mars placements like Pisces/12H or Cancer 4H that use their sexual language as an escape from reality, or the detached air placements like Gemini/3H or Aquarius/11H, who are too aloof to harness Mars’ energy, YOU my Capricorn/10H individuals are acutely aware of how powerful the nature of sex can be…and most importantly, how it can be used to your advantage.

To the average person on the street, you may not seem like the super sexual type. You prefer a sophisticated lover to a “cute” one, so people can assume that your standards are too high. And perhaps, your standards are high, because you understand the value of your presence and your time. In fact, you HATE wasting time, so why would you waste time on lovers who don’t bring anything to the table? Sadly, for most of the public, they won’t ever have the experience to be with a Capricorn/10H Mars because quite frankly, they can’t afford it.

Funnily enough, I’m sure as you’ve been reading this, you’re like “dang…am I that shallow?” And the answer is yes and no. You’re shallow because we live in a shallow world– and you know in order to survive it, you have to use what you got to get what you want. The other side of this is, you’re not shallow at all because you are willing to work and discipline yourself and sacrifice for those that you truly care about. There is such a depth to you in the long run, that it makes sense that you make it really difficult for people to get to you. Because you know and I know, once you’ve committed to someone, you’ve committed for as long as you possibly can. Your sexual language is all about stamina and endurance. This is true in and and out of the bedroom. As an earth sign/house, you are a sensual being. You enjoy each and every bit of romance that you can get. A nice meal, some good perfume, dressed to the nines is all considered foreplay to you. You entice your partners with a certain dignified class and only the brave will approach. In your younger years, you could find this extremely frustrating at times because men will really have to get their sh*t together before they can even THINK to approach you on that level. But the more that you use your Mars to get you where you want to be in life, partners will follow behind you and constantly buzz around as if you are the Queen Bee and they are mere workers for your attention.

Funnily enough, you are quite the heart-breaker with this Mars placement. Because you are so focused on your goals outside of love, and yet, you can crave sensual pleasures, you will be very direct with a partner, but they may not be aware of how serious you take yourself. How can this manifest? Let’s say you meet a partner and everything is groovy, but you are working on a big project for work, you’re working on a degree of some kind, or you’ve said you won’t rest until you make partner at the big company…unlike other Mars placements, you won’t let romance sway you or take you off track. You are probably the best example of “right person, wrong time”. You don’t have as much of an issue as other signs walking away from a situation that is distracting you from your more worldly desires. This can leave people utterly confused, because you seem like a perfect partner, but honestly, you’re just not focused on aaaalll the drama that can come with fully committed relationships. People may actually take this energy and say that you’re a player…or worse…a floozy (one of my favorite words lol, definitely needs to make a comeback). You actually aren’t. You will be one of the most committed partners they could find, but if it’s not the right time…it just ain’t happening. So your partners will have to maintain some level of patience or they will miss out. On the other hand, because Mars is a planet of extremes, you may go through periods in life where you are celebate. It may take you awhile to stop channeling that Martian ambitious energy into your career and put it towards your sexuality. That being said, you will enjoy the more sensual side of sex. You could have great stamina and endurance. Because sex may not come around as often as you’d like, you will learn to savor every drop of your partners and please them in a calculated, thoughtful and masterful way! How smeeexxxiiiiiii!!!!!

Mars in Sagittarius or Mars in the 9th House

“I’ve been everywhere, man, looking for someone. Someone who can please me, love me all night long” Where Have You Been by Rihanna

If your natal Mars is in Sagittarius or the 9th House, your sexual language is that of many languages. You fall in love with the exotic, unknown and unexplored. You like your partners like James Bond likes his cars– foreign. You appreciate partners who expand your understanding of reality. Your partners have to expand your mind…and body…into positions that you never thought were possible. If you don’t attract partners who are of a different race, culture or class from you, then you will be attracted to partners who are otherworldly and spiritual or are just as serious about their religious beliefs as you are. Like Mars in Pisces/12H, your planet is ruled by the planet Jupiter, aka Guru. You NEED to learn from your partner. You NEED to explore with your partner. And you NEED to be able to teach your partners something as well. “I wanna know…can you show me…I wanna know about the strangers like me”...It’s giving…Tarzan and Jane. I have Mars in the 9th House, and it has manifested in a very fun way! So with my bias, I believe that this can be one of the more fun placements if you just go with the flow. Unlike other Mars placements, you don’t necessarily feel the need to control your partners. You’d much rather experience them, learn the lesson and move on to the next new shiny thing. Much like your brother, Gemini, you are equally as invested in getting the knowledge and seeking more knowledge. You of all signs are unlikely to overstay your welcome in a relationship. You can come off quite restless and unsatisfied…UNLESS you are just fascinated and enamored with an individual.

You can find yourself attracted to people who have accents, or speak a different language than you. But you will be even more turned on by someone who shares the same religious beliefs as you. You may actually be willing to convert religions for your partner OR, and this is more likely, you have a partner who is a different religion than you are, and instead of being ashamed by it, or making it an obstacle, you embrace it– ultimately respecting their religion, while maintaining the traditions of your own.

You will naturally desire to travel with your partner. Making some of your favorite memories in life when you made-love in some far off land. If the sentence, “I made love to a Frenchman I met while eating a baguette at the local cafe under the Eiffel tower and I’ll never see him again, but he’s the love of my life” turns you on…congratulations, you’re in the right spot.

This Mars placement is fueled by your deepest desire to see the world and its deepest truth, and then just imagine how much you can learn about the world through the lens of an intimate partner. Your sexual language, like I said earlier, involves language in and of itself. You want to hear the stories of distants lands, fascinated by the foreign nature of your divine counterpart. You will want to be intimate with partners who can speak for hours and hours about their adventures and endeavors. You need to be intrigued at the very least.

I also find that with this placement, there may be an age difference in your relationships. You either will be attracted to someone who is much older and wiser, OR, interesting enough, you could find yourself with someone younger. Why is this? You will appreciate a person who still has zest for life. You will be equally attracted to partners who are bright eyed and bushy tailed! Plus, I know I’ve talked a lot about your partner entertaining and teaching you, but the truth of the matter is, you will want to be as much of a sage to your partner as well. You will enjoy teaching them the ways of life and the pursuit of happiness. They will look to you with eyes of wonder as you paint beautifully vivid pictures of your life experiences that have shaped your view of the world.

Another element to this Mars placement, is you are one to challenge authority. This may manifest in your sex language by liking to explore BDSM culture in some way. Because this Mars is all about freedom, you may be turned on by the thought of your partner controlling you…just so you can say no. You can come off as a “well, make me”...kind of lover when it comes to foreplay. You love a challenge and you like partners who challenge you in some way when it comes to living out your sexual fantasies. Another way this may come out is you AND your partner may have a knack for getting into trouble or enjoying sex with some kind of risk involved. You get off being able to sneak away for a quickie. You’ll have sex in the backseat of a car. Joining the mile club is definitely on your bucket list…all the things! Because you are such a rebel, you tell stories that have “normies” clutching their pearls and leave their mouths open. You want to have memorable sex that is worth writing a book about!!!

I can not drive home enough how spiritual your sexual relationships have the potential to be. You are not a shallow lover. You are a lover full of wonder and full of lust…wanderlust…if you will. Sagittarius/9H is a very serious zodiac/house. You're destined to seek truth– so your sexual partners HAVE to enlighten you in some way. You don’t want to get stuck in the mundane, boring stuff of a relationship, (and please, don’t get too carried away, because we do live on planet earth!) you want to experience shrooms, talk about God and make love in the forest! Smexxiiii!!!!

Mars in Scorpio or Mars in the 8th House

“Every breath you take, every move you make, every smile you fake, every single day, I’ll be watching you” Every Breath You Take by Sting

Okay, okay, it would be all too easy to say your love language is stalking, and more stalking and even more stalking, but…that’s only a small fraction of what this Mars placement has to offer. If your natal Mars is placed in Scorpio or in your 8th House, your sexual language is that of raw passion and intensity. That being said, it is also about restraint and self-restriction, and sometimes self destruction. I tend to find Scorpionic energy and 8H energy to be radically internal. You, actually, may not be the most expressive lover. You are more comfortable waiting, studying and planning to pursue a lover, rather than going in full force. Because Mars is your natural ruler, Mars is more than comfortable here, but unlike your brother sign, Aries, you are more of the “planning” part of war, rather than action. This is the strategy of self-defense more than anything. You don’t want to walk into an intimate situation to be intimate yourself, you want to extract vulnerability from your partner like a detective solving a murder crime. Your sex language is more of a riddle than a question. And you would like a partner who intrigues you and leaves a lot of mystery. In my many many years of dating, and many many encounters with Scorpionic energy (I attract them like flies…it’s crazy) I always find that Scorpios are nowhere near as mysterious or hard to figure out as they perceive. Behind all that black and dark stares and gazed is usually a pretty pretty boring, but shy person. There is such a caution with this sign when it comes to acting on those very deep and sometimes all consuming desires, so you are very careful to not put yourself in harm's way. Another hot take that I have on this placement that may seem a bit contradictory to the Scorpionic stereotype is YES YES YES, you are smexxxxiiii and all of the things, but that doesn’t necessarily make you the most sexual person. You take intimacy and sexy very seriously, more seriously than most, because for you intimacy and vulnerability can be used against you and be seen as a weakness, so you are hard pressed to just be going around willy-nilly swinging from partner to partner. You also view sex/intimacy as more of a “power” thing than a “love” thing. And what do I mean by that? You know that deep intimacy and truly being intertwined with another individual gives you an unreal amount of access to that person on a personal and spiritual level. It is always important to remember where Scorpio/8H lines up in the grand scheme of things. It follows the Libra/7H of partnership. The 8H is actually the house that dictates how a relationship will play out. This. Is. Imperative. To understand this placement. You are far more focused on how the partnership plays out, rather than the partnership itself. Again, unlike your predecessor, Libra, who is ruled by Venus and may be more interested in the looks of a relationship and romantic partner. Your sexual language is more interested in the psychology of your partner. You don’t care nearly as much about the outside as you do the inside. What draws you to your partner is a need to access the ultimate truths through your partners. Hence why, you are followed by Sagittarius/9H of Truth and Liberation. Your sex language involves restraint, power and hidden truths.

As I said before, it may be really difficult for you at times to truly connect with your partners because your energy can demand sooooo much from them. You will require partners to go through such depths in their relationship with you, that they may not be able to handle it. And on the other side of that, you may stay away from relationships because you may mistakenly feel like it brings out some of your “worst” qualities. With this Mars, you may go through a very intense relationship when you’re young, one where you give your all, I mean…you would kill or be killed for those you love, and because that relationship fails, you may never want to experience those types of lows again and stay away. You are one of the most loyal of the Mars placements, so you are very careful to study who exactly you are giving your loyalty to. I recommend with this placement, you may find yourself oddly attracted to Aquarian/11H energy. It sounds weird, water and air, but in this case, Aquarian energy is endlessly fascinating because they are so unorthodox, you will never truly figure them out, so you’re constantly intrigued by them. Aquarians also value loyalty the same way you do. They will allow you the freedom that you need to sit in your own emotions, but value the friendship in such a way, you won’t feel abandoned by them. Even if the people you are attracted to don’t have Aquarius in their chart, I think that quality is something you should consider when looking into intimate partners. It is probably the partner who gives you the most space and it is the hardest to figure out, that will give you the most in life. If you have a partner that is easy to conquer, not only will you be bored, but you can easily slip into those darker energies of control and manipulation to get you way…even when it’s unnecessary.

AAALLLL that said, you are still a hell of a lover! I mean…wow. You intricately know how to please and conquer. You use sex as a language itself when you’re ready and willing. And man, do you have a way with words. You can easily hypnotize a lover to fall under your command, so be careful with this gift. You are more than comfortable in this arena once you move past your fears in the subconscious. You can channel this energy, much like the exalt Mars in Capricorn to succeed with some of your greatest ambitions. You will put your sexual energy into your work and projects in a way like no other! Just don’t take everything so seriously! It’s okay to have a good time. Be intimate and open up some! You’ll enjoy getting your head out of the sand!

Mars in Libra or Mars in the 7th House

“What a rush & what a high, cause when your love don’t fight, smoke gets in your eyes” Smoke In Your Eyes by Skepta, Ossie, Harry Stone

If you came to this section thinking that I was going to talk about how sweet and balanced you are when it comes to your sexual language…THINK. AGAIN. BABE. You are nothing of the sort. Seems contradictory, huh? Because Libra/7H is all about balance, right? Well…not when it comes to this Mars placement.

If you have your natal Mars in Libra or the 7th House, you are quite the spicy lover. To be completely honest, Mars is VERY uncomfortable here. Why? Because Libra is naturally ruled by the planet Venus, which is essentially the opposite frequency of Mars. I like to think of Mars and Venus as the brother and sister planets of the Milky way. Traditionally ruled by Ares and Aphrodite in Greek mythology respectively, they are technically half-siblings. So when you think of this Mars placement, this of how a girlie-girl would feel surrounded by all boys at a football camp. Sure, she may attract a lot of attention and she may have plenty of options…but she will CERTAINLY have to set clear boundaries to command the respect she deserves, as well as deal with the fact that no one around her may have the same interest. See how this can be uncomfortable? It’s not the worst thing to happen, but it can cause you to feel like you have to play the field a little bit differently because of Mars being in the House of Libra.

Okay, so now that we covered why this placement might be different than what you were imagining, let’s get into what this post is actually about!

If you have this natal placement, your sex language is all about breaking up to make-up. Because you’re on this constant quest of seeking balance, YOU will subconsciously or consciously seek chaos in order to regain balance. Your indecisive and somewhat aloof nature in relationships can be a source of frustration when it comes to your sexual expression with your lovers. If you have Mars in your 7H, you genuinely LOVE conflicts and attract conflicts to your relationships. You can be quite passive aggressive, honestly, and stir the pot to get attention. AAALLLL this being said, you still enjoy the finer things and love the idea of love, even though you may not have the most direct way of going about it. Your partners may even find you hard to read, and this can frustrate you, because your wishy-washy-ness is so innate to you, you may have a tendency to think that everyone is as back and forth with decision making as you are.

Ironically, more so than any of the previous placements I have discussed before, I will focus more on what sexual language you like from your partner rather than yourself. Of course, you like good food, good wine, good clothes, good banter, good company…you have Libra, like DUH, but I want to offer a different perspective on this placement.

So when it comes to your partners, you truly like a partner who takes charge, regardless of sex. You crave a level of masculinity and directness in your love language because as I stated earlier, it can be difficult for you to make decisions for yourself. You overemphasize how people will perceive you, and this can cause you to stunt your decision making, so you’ll find yourself craving a partner who can be unabashedly unapologetic in their approach to life. You seek partners who are brave and courageous and you will find yourself testing anyone you fall in love with to see if they have that spark of passion in them. You may find yourself seeking different things from different people, so you may have multiple lovers– and just like how it may take you forever to pick out your outfit in the morning, it may take you forever to figure out what you value in a partner. It is important to note that Libra/7H energy is indeed a masculine energy. I’m sure most would assume it’s feminine because of the “sophisticated” and charismatically social nature usually associated with Libras, but when it comes to sexual relationships, Taurus/2H energy is the feminine side of Venus. Libra energy in this way is more detached than people would think. As stated earlier, because you enjoy dates, chatting, getting to know people, you may be a really good casual dater! This could send mixed messages to potential lovers because you may have never really had any intention of dating them long-term– or, you really just haven’t decided yet. Now are we starting to see how this Mars placement can attract certain conflict? You will desire and crave a partner that can make decisions for you. This may lead to some kinkiness in the bedroom because you’re open to compromise and you can be bossed around in this regard.

Overall your sexual language is complex because of the inherent contradiction of this natal placement. You can make this work in your favor as long as you keep open communication with your partner, even if it’s to tell them that you need some more time before you’re comfortable making any lasting decisions. When you date, you will have to allow your partners to understand your up & down nature. Most people will probably take your pragmatic nature personally, so if you can find a way to channel this into being sexually playful with your lovers, it can be a great way to keep romance fun and interesting. As stated in the beginning, you are most likely to end up in an on-again-off-again kind of relationship because you like for the scales to be tipped, so you can rebalance them. You are far more detached in commitments than most people would assume, so it is essential for you to date like-minded people who understand that your coldness is not a reflection on your feelings. You choose to remain objective in your judgements and seek fairness in your relationships—even if you are the one who was unfair to begin with! Kiss it kiss it better baby!!!!

Mars in Virgo or Mars in the 6th House

“I got commitment issues, but I’m tryna fix that for you…I don’t believe in love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take you serious” Commitment Issues by Central Cee

With Mars in Virgo or the 6th House, you may be surprised to find how non-committal you are when it comes to relationships. Why? Because you find relationships to be impractical. So when it comes to your sexual language, you are quite all over the place. Lovers can find you hard to catch, almost like trying to keep a fairy in a jar. You prefer to flutter around and keep things light in the sexual department. To you, sex can scream responsibility. After all, sex can be a pretty risky and dirty affair. All the fluid exchange and, ultimately, the required vulnerability, can make you quite uneasy. With this Mars placement, you can go between the two extremes of putting too much emphasis on sex or not enough emphasis at all. This is due to the natural ruler of Virgo/6H being Mercury, which, I find to be, an asexual planet. You are more interested in the intellectual connection than the physical connection.

BUT PLEASE, don’t get me wrong! You know you’re way around the bedroom. Your sexual language is constantly evolving. You do well with long-term partners that you can trust, study and get to know. You prefer a lover that is loyal, so you don’t have to worry about where they’ve been, or better yet, who they’ve been with. You find joy in repetition with one partner. OR, you are really open to “protected” one-night stands. You are either all in or all out. You don’t like to waste time on sexual relationships that you don’t see a return for a long-term investment. That being said, if you are unable to invest in the long-term, you can find yourself in a position of sexual frustration. You may really desire a person, but because of your deep need for perfection first, you may stall connections & find a lot of pleasure in masturbation for the time being. You, like your opposite sign, Pisces, can really get into your fantasies. You may find that erotica and romance novels can be great resources to pass the time while you likely toil between celibacy and being a whore (this is particularly funny to me because Virgos are known for being the Virgins of the zodiac– hence the contradiction in Mars in Virgo. The planet of sex and desire ruled by a “Virgin” is, uh….a difficult juxtaposition to say the least.) – again, it’s all about mental stimulation with you.

When you do meet a partner that you can FINALLY settle down and feel comfortable with, you will be a very giving lover. Because Virgo energy is usually associated with servitude, you better believe that you will make it your duty to service the object of your affection. You care very deeply about the satisfaction of your partner— far more than you care about your own. As stated earlier, you don’t mind finishing up solo as long as your partner is satisfied. You will find every nook and cranny, every deep desire, every love spot that your partner has, because you will analyze their body with astute detail. You will break your partner’s sexual language down and adapt it to be your own, because after all, you are a mutable sign. As well as being an earth sign, you do have a very deep sensual nature to you. Although you can come across as quite guarded with new partners, once you blossom, you really enjoy heavy petting and physical touch. You can spend so much time in your head and alone with your thoughts in other aspects of your life, you may find it very powerful to have a partner that literally grounds you and brings you back to planet Earth by holding you in their arms. Again, after you’ve bent over backwards (pun intended) to please your partner, you, more than any other sign, except maybe Leo, really needs to be acknowledged and celebrated for your hard work. You don’t take kindly to being undervalued or under appreciated when it comes to your romantic relationships in this context.

Believe it or not, this placement can actually be quite kinky! Why? Because of the influence of Mercury again. As stated before, you want to learn your partner’s as well as you possibly can to make sure you are seen as perfect in their eyes– sooooo, that means you’ll have some exploring to do. Mercury is such a curious planet, that it may not be kinky for the sensual pleasures of it all, but it will be interested in testing out sex & kinks for “research purposes”. This can give you a sort of detached feeling when it comes to sex, which may or may not work in your favor– you’re able to disassociate in a way that makes sex almost an out of body experience…it may take you some time to actually feel pleasure from sex. You are so focused on the other and pleasing your partner, you can forget that sex is supposed to be a two way street! I just want to reiterate, that this placement is so mutable, that you may find yourself pretty ambivalent towards sex at different times in your life. You’re kind of like “eh”. But there is hope, when you find a partner that lights your fire– you will find yourself wanting sex like a child wants candy! There is plenty of potential here for a beautifully active and engaging sex life– it just may take more time to develop than others.

Learn your own kinks! Have fun! Explore the more sensual side of life for yourself!

Anyone who is able to win you over (which is NOT an easy feat by any means) will be able to revel in the fact that you are such a wonderful lover! But don’t forget, sex is not a test that you can get an A + in, it’s supposed to be the culmination and celebration of it all!

Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House

“She may be the queen of hearts, but I’m the queen of your body parts” - Cockiness, Rihanna

If you have Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House, you are Britney Spears, all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus, bay-bee. You LOVE to put on a show. Your sexual language can make love-making a spectacle! You’re over the top, you’re loud, you roar. You LOVE LOVE LOVE the attention. So much so, you may not even need sex to fulfill that internal desire for you. Huh? What do I mean? I mean, you may be satisfied using your creative gifts for sexual gratification. Chances are with this placement, you are highly creative and charismatic. You find sensual pleasure in being able to share your creative gifts with other people. Haven’t you heard of entertainers saying they had so much fun on stage, it was orgasmic? That’s where you come in.

Ironically, I don’t naturally find this placement to be the most sexual. Don’t get me wrong, you are DOWN DIGGITY for a good time, but you really use sex as an ego booster. You may even be quite lazy in the bedroom. You could easily live by the code “my present is my presence” and be a dazzling pillow princess. This isn’t a bad thing, and it definitely doesn’t have to be the case all the time! When you’re turned on, you’re turned on, but when you’re just casually engaging in sex, or are in a long-term commitment, you may feel like sex is something that is owed to you. Not in a weird entitled way, but more like a Queen sitting on a chaise lounge being fed grapes– like, “duh, you should have sex with me, I’m beautiful”, type energy. This, if you haven’t been able to guess already, can lead to a selfish attitude in the love-making department. You must remember that sometimes, your partner wants to be catered to as well. That being said, you won’t shy away from Valentine’s Day. You are the type to go all out! You’ll put on the lingerie. You’ll lay out the rose petals on the bed. You’ll pay extra for that honeymoon suite. OR, you will expect your partner to do all of this without you asking. You treat holidays and sex as if it’s a royal affair.

Due to your standards being so high, I cannot express to you enough that you may really put all your sexual energy into your creative pursuits until you find a lover of high-value and high sex drive. You love and somewhat need to feel desired in order to break down your walls. You don’t play hard to get– you ARE hard to get, so this may leave you with extended periods of non-sexual activities. You are more than willing to give up sexual pleasure for your own personal pursuits– in fact, you are more likely to do that if you have specific career goals.

You may be a tad bit surprised at my interpretation of Mars in Leo, perhaps you were assuming it would be a bit spicier, but I challenge you to look at your ruler, the Sun (yes, the actual burning ball of fire in the sky) . Not literally…well, you can, but make sure you wear sun-glasses. But in all seriousness, the Sun shines alone. The Sun is too hot to let anything near it, and it carries such a gravitational pull, that things simply orbit around it, but can never get too close. With Mars in Leo/5th House, you may find yourself in this position when it comes to your sexual nature. You attract a lot of people towards you, but they are unable to get too close, for fear they will burn up in your presence. Or, you shine so bright, you are forced to do it alone. Being the Sun and the center of the Universe is a hard job, but ultimately an isolating job. Your being, your creative gifts, your star power and the way you shine can cast such a shadow on those who dare come near you. It really can be one of the most challenging placements because you probably won’t understand why people can’t/don’t come near you. Again, you’re just soooo great, people can have an overwhelming and unrealistic ideal of what it will take to make you happy. It’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s flattering, but on the other hand, you can suffer from being put so high up on a pedal stool that you never asked for!

One tip for you, is to keep your hair beautiful and lushes! People will be attracted to your wild side and want to bring that out of you. You can either really love having your hair pulled or be turned off by it because you spend so much time making it look perfect. Either way, your hair may be an essential part of foreplay for you and something that suitors may find undeniably sexy.

As long as you are mindful to share the spotlight from time to time and not always prioritizing your needs & your desires, you can be a remarkably loyal partner. Fierce is the word that comes to mind and you can be very fierce in the bedroom. (When you want to be.) You can outshine any of the competition. Most people truly can’t hold a candle to you when it comes to how committed you are in an intimate relationship. You are proud and you protect those that are around you and that you deem worthy. You have a royal air that surrounds you and it loudly and proudly screams `bow down bitches' when it's time to get down and dirty!

Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th House

“Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane” Born to Die- Lana Del Rey

If you have Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th house, ironically, your sex language involves a knack of overwhelming emotional destruction. Dramatic, yes, yes, I know, but very true. Mars is VERY uncomfortable in the deep waters of Cancer/4H. Mars in the 4th House, in particular, is a naturally difficult placement because it sits in the House of happiness, as well as aspects the 7th House of partnership and the 11th House of friendship– making that native, uh, a little difficult to deal with. Why? Because your emotions can be so erratic and illogical, it can be difficult for people to understand what you want. Heck, you probably don’t understand what you want most of the time. I promise I’ll get to the good stuff, but keep in mind that this Mars placement is in detriment! (It’s exalted in Capricorn, the opposite sign.) So when it comes to your sexual language, you value such a deeply emotional commitment from your partner, you could constantly try to test them by pushing their emotional boundaries.

There is a mixture of pleasure and pain. You love an emotional outburst– this can be good and sexy, or bad and scary. Emotionally bonding make-up sex, is your cup of tea…ESPECIALLY if you are the one who caused the “break-up” in the first place. You truly enjoy engaging with your partner in a loving way, when you can, but because Mars is so unstable here, it can be hard for you to maintain emotional consistency within long-term relationships. You can find that your passions wax and wane for your partner. Sometimes, you just want to run into their arms and kiss them in the pouring rain, other times, you want them to LEAVE YOU DAFUQ ALONE. This can be quite jarring to your intimate partners, but also to yourself. I recommend embracing this quality and being as honest as possible! Instead of literally creating a sh*t storm in order to be left alone, just communicate to your partner that you need a little space from time to time. But also be willing to give your partner that same courtesy and grace if they ask for the same.

You can feel a need to wrap yourself up in your partner's desires. It may come from a genuine place, but because Mars is an aggressive planet, you may be quite aggressive in how you demonstrate your love to your partner because your deepest desire is to be able to emotionally control them. This can manifest in an extremely emotionally manipulative way through passive aggressiveness and just causing overall uneasiness within your dynamics and partnerships. One of the lovely sides about this particular placement, is when you mature, you can have an extremely high emotional I.Q. Because you are naturally very sensitive to your surroundings, you can literally sense the emotional and physical needs of your partner without them having to say a word. You can be so emotionally intune with your lovers, it can feel like telepathy if they need anything from you. You just know, y’know?

In the bedroom, you can go from one extreme to another. Sometimes you want to be dominant, and sometimes you want to be dominated. It is important for your lovers to be able to ride your waves and learn what is needed from them at any given moment. Again, Mars is all about conquest. So when Mars is in the 4H in particular, you want to be able to be the leader in your home, but you also want someone who can take the reins when necessary. Again, this can be a difficult balance to strike within your sexual relationships because people may not understand the method behind the madness, typically because there really isn’t a method…it’s just kind of madness AND THAT’S OKAY!

Because Mars is so uncomfortable here, it is imperative for you to be able to channel your energy in creative ways or you can fall victim to your own emotional tirades. You want a clear line of communication with anyone you are interested with and they absolutely need to have some emotional intelligence or else they will drown in your water. You don’t want to suffocate your lovers with so much emotional intensity, that you both are unable to remain somewhat grounded in the chaos. You of all people understand just how powerful emotions and sex can be together, so be careful to use it wisely!!! When done right, you can have anyone wrapped around your finger.

Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House

“Talk is cheap my darling, when you’re feeling right at home. I wanna make you move with confidence. I want to be with you alone” Talk is Cheap by Chet Faker

If you have Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House, then you are all about an intellectual connection when it comes to your sexual language. You want to catch viiibbbeezzz. You want to be razzle-dazzled with the lingo. You want someone hip, cool, in the know…because, well, you’re hip, cool & in the know, y’know? It’s only fitting that your partner be the same. You, of all placements, may truly crave “your other half”. And I know, I know, we live in a world now, where people are saying “you are a whole person and you’re looking for another whole person yadayadayada…”, but you’re a TWIN. You want to be able to connect with someone as if you share the same brain, the same thoughts, the same…everything. This isn’t to say that you’re not sexual…you just enjoy mental jousting for foreplay. Think of how beautiful the dance between two evenly matched fencing partners is– the ebb and flow of tension – playing both parts of the aggressor and the defender– gliding almost effortlessly with a weapon in hand. It’s like the tango…but with swords. That’s how you envision your love. Beautiful art, yet dangerous. You may not be the most sensual lover at first, but in time you will certainly warm up. Why? Because at the very least, you are a curious partner! You. Want. To. Explore. You may be the type of lover to want to try almost anything once. You want to be surprised. You don’t want your bedroom to be boring. You resent repetitiveness and you welcome new experiences. You may even fall into the “switch my wig, make ‘em feel like he cheating” category. You like to switch up your look, your style…sexual positions (lol). This can even translate into role play! (Especially teacher/student).

I cannot express to you enough how much learning from your partner turns you on. You love asking questions & consider getting to know someone a conquest. The more difficult the puzzle, the more you yearn to solve it and this type of stimulation oozes over into your sexual pleasure. You’re curious to know what your lover’s love. You can have an objective perception of sex, because you aren’t the most naturally emotional person, so you can look at the love making process as getting to know every nook and cranny of a partner’s body– learning what makes them tick & “ick”. You become more emotionally open with a partner, the more confident that you are that you know them. You like learning, but you don’t like unpleasant surprises. This may be counter intuitive, but I find that after you go through your “lemme try any & everything era”, you will genuinely enjoy one partner. It will make you feel secure and like you have that missing piece in life. You don’t come across as the most committal type, but when you do commit, you commit fr fr, you just need a certain level of freedom in life to continue to expand your horizons far past the mundane in life.

Another element you may add to your sexual reservoir is……drugs. “DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDS & STAY IN SCHOOL”...alright, there is my disclaimer. Now back to what I was saying, you may be curious to try mind-expanding drugs & smex. Because you can be so cerebral, drugs like ecstacy can help you actually feel your body. The tingle will start from your subconscious mind, and venture into your conscious body, possibly making love-making a more pleasurable experience. If this doesn’t interest you, don’t worry, no pressure! Just making a note that this placement is more likely to think outside of the box when it comes to making their sex lives thrilling and exciting! Not saying that vanilla sex is boring…just saying in general. You do you!

Overall, this is a curious placement. It’s a fun placement, but it can be an extremely flighty placement in the beginning. Don’t let your fear of getting stuck, stop you from finding a true partner that you can really see the world with. You can find that “other half”, that “twin soul” that really knows how to light a fire in you and warm your cold cold cold gemini heart. In your moments of passion, you will prefer to keep things fun and light. Only when someone truly captures your mind, can they capture your body and soul! SEXYYYYYY!!!!

Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House

“People stop to ask me, how do you please your man? Take it from the black sheep baby, any way I can. Sometimes it’s with fire and sometimes, with ice…Just don’t get it twisted, his body’s gunna pay the price.”

- Rock My Boy’s Body by Joseph Stephens

If you have Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House your sexual language is about sensuality, sexuality, & seduction. You believe in making love an all encompassing experience and you will stop at nothing to make sure your partners have an all exclusive pass to your BO-DAY. IF it is earned. Because Taurus is naturally slow moving energy, you may be slow to open up. As I’ve studied astrology for years now…I’ve come to realize that Taurus energy is just as private and cautious and it’s opposite sign, Scorpio. If you have this placement, you feel the need to study your lovers and you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait before you make your move. But if you are able to wrap them in your warm embrace…you won’t want to let go and they won’t want you to either.

Like Leo, when it comes to your sexual language, you believe in putting on a show. But your show is subtle, quaint and slow burning. You will have the candles burning, the scented lotion and fresh out the shower smell, you will have the most luxurious sheets on the most comfortable mattress. You don’t believe in cutting corners when it comes to your comfort and whoever is lucky enough to wind up in your bed, simply gets to enjoy how you live your life. I could bet you have an impeccable taste in music and truly know how to set the tone when it comes to seduction. As stated before, you are able to create a world of pure pleasure for those you love and make them spell-bound to you, because chances are, they haven’t been able to match with a sexual partner who cares so much about the details of ALL 6 senses. (I’m including intuition because, y’know, I’m a tarot and an astrology girlie.) For example, I dated this guy with heavy taurus placements a few years ago. I very much remember and very much miss this awesome TV room that he made for himself. Instead of having a regular degular couch, he had a couch that was also a bed. It wasn’t a couch that converted into a bed….it was just a couch that had a bed in it…and massive 70 inch television mounted on the wall. When I TELL you, I wanted to marry that man because….UGH!!! I was so comfortable! I could melt into the floor when I was with him. And I have YET to be with anyone who has a room set up quite like that. The feeling has stayed with me long after we have been together. THAT is what I mean by the power of Mars in Taurus. It lingers when you’re done!

On the other side, you of all signs, can be extremely jealous and possessive over your sexual partners. You DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE. AT. ALL. The 2nd House is all about owning and possessions and you may take this mindset with you into your romantic relationships. To the right person and in a healthy way, this can be enduring and make your partner feel safe and secure in your presence. In turn, you also want to know that your partner is crazy about you and cares deeply about your well-being. Again, in a healthy dynamic, a little jealousy and possessivness isn’t bad. It can show that someone does have an interest in you and takes pride in the fact that they are able to claim you as their own. This is just something to be mindful of in this placement, because if underdeveloped, it can lead to issues of selfishness & strong resistance to allow your partner’s freedom. Of course this can bleed over into the bedroom as well. You don’t want to get so focused on your own comfort that you end up putting your partner into a routine that they no longer enjoy. Your favorite position may not be their favorite positive. It can feel like eating lobster every single day. Like, yeah, Lobster is great day 1, maybe even day 2, but by day 5….yuck. Depending on other placements in your chart, you may attract partners who are very much like you, in the sense they prefer routine, OR you may attract partners who are so wild and out of the box, it forces you out of your comfort zone. All I can do is say embrace whatever floats your boat.

There is no doubt that you are one of the most sexual, sensual and passionate lovers of the zodiac. Your innate knowledge of pleasure makes you an expert in the bedroom and you can be hard to beat. Although it may take you a while to warm up, either physically or emotionally, you eventually show your partners that it is absolutely worth the wait! Because you tend to be safe and secure in yourself (the 2nd house rules self esteem) you share that safety and extend your protection to those you love the most. Your sexual language is unforgettable. You know how to love someone head to toe! WOOOOO!!!

Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House

“Dollhouse, dressed up, perfect messed up, Torture me to sleep, paint the air I breathe. Fishbowl, chokehold, dirty water, I’m cold. Dirty as can be, have your way with me.” Dollhouse (with Lily Rose Depp) by The Weeknd

If you have Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House, your sexual language is intense & powerful. You have a way of pulling people into your orbit just by being your unapologetic self! The force is with you! Best believe! And people feel it. You get what you want and you want what you get and you have a way of luring in your prospective sexual partner by projecting your lust onto them– so much so they feel it when they walk by you. Much like your sister, the Mars ruled Scorpio, there is a carnal desire that surrounds you. It’s magnetic. It’s magnificent. And it’s very fleeting.

When it comes to your bedroom pleasures, you can be a pioneer of the “Wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am or…sir” (not as cute of a rhyme) mindset. You may have a habit of treating your lovers like conquest– wanting to overpower them and wrap them up in your passionate fantasies. You deeply enjoy power play in your sex life. Yes, you could easily be the dominant one in your relationships, BUT you could also seek refuge in being submissive to your partner. How? I know it seems contradictory. But chances are, with this placement (unless it’s in a water sign in your first house) you are more than likely the boss and the leader in your everyday life…so when it comes to sex, you may want to just “relax” and let your partner do all the hard work for once. If that’s the case, you may be a bit of a brat in the bedroom because you still like to challenge your partner for shizz & giggles, but you are certainly fun and definitely unforgettable.

Your sex language is raw and real. You don’t like to hold back your passion and you appreciate a partner who can match your enthusiasm in the bedroom. You love the runner chaser dynamic, and again, you can easily play both parts. You are strong and competitive and don’t like to lose the interest of your lovers, even though you can get bored pretty easily. You may prefer quickies over long drawn up love sessions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to indulge your sinuses from time to time– you’re just not one of the most lovey dovey of the zodiac and prefer loud, wild, hot, steamy sex opposed to soft caresses and whispers of sweet nothings. You may also be a person who uses sexy time to advance a certain agenda. You could use sex as a tool of manipulation to get what you want. That may seem extreme, but think about a stripper using her sensuality as a means to make money so she can pay her way through law school. THAT’S what I mean. Because you may not be so shy about your sex appeal, if used correctly, it can be your weapon of choice when it comes to getting what you want from someone.

Passion matters to you more than most. You would prefer a risky lover than a predictable one. You also may be a fan of the ole’ break up to make-up trope. Make-up sex is always better. And you don’t mind starting a fight in the streets, simply to uh…you know…end it….in the sheets…..if you catch my drift. You aren’t one for subtleties. You are probably one of the most straightforward and upfront people in the world and you may play shy, but once you allow a person to get to know you, you don’t hold anything back. Because you are a cardinal energy, you always have a childlike flair to you! You keep things interesting and youthful. You’re not afraid to cross boundaries and push the limits of yourself & your partner in the midst of a sexual act. You really may think that sex is something that can be “won”. You want to be the best. You want to be the one that lovers can’t get enough of. You don’t appreciate being compared to others and honestly hear partners talking about their past as if it was some sort of challenge. You definitely have a jealous and possessive streak, but like I always say, when this is a healed energy it can be enduring to the right partner. As long as it’s not obsessive and unhealthy, you can provide comfort to your lovers that you are there for them and only them. You expect loyalty in return, of course, but you don’t mind protecting and defending what you see as your own. Your love is real. Your love is honest. Your love is young and wild and free!

[disneyparksattractionstournament]

Favorite Disney Parks Attraction Showdown: Round 6/Semifinals 

Videos and propaganda under the cut!

Tower of Terror: WDW Hollywood Studios, Paris Walt Disney Studios Park, California Adventure (2004-2017), Tokyo DisneySea

Propaganda:

"you forget how scary it is until you watch the preshow. and then you forget how fun it is until you ride the ride. 10/10 would recommend went on it with my friends twice last time we went."

"WE LOVE HORROR MEDIA REPRESENTATION!!! ONLY PUSSIES TAKE THE STAIRS"

"This ride made me absolutely terrified of elevators for a bit. xD Anyway, the bellhop cast members are hilarious. The hotel that is covered in cobwebs and was clearly abandoned in a rush after a terrible event is so cool. The Rod Sterling Twilight Zone intro is iconic. The basement is an interesting setting for the final part of the queue. The generators, lights, and floor indicator malfunctioning helps build your anticipation. The friggin elevator moving into the hallway and into a new shaft when the electrical ghosts make their appearance and you enter the Twilight Zone is so impressive. The dropping and rising of the elevator is such fun and I love the randomized events they added. I have to say, though, that ventriloquist dummy in the unloading room still makes me uncomfortable."

"Who doesn't love a creepy dark drop narrated by the man, the myth, the legend Rod Serling himself?"

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad: Disneyland, WDW Magic Kingdom, Tokyo Disneyland, Disneyland Paris

Propaganda:

Disneyland version: "It has such an effective use of underground sections, especially when they're completely dark and give you the illusion of going even faster. The first one can catch you off guard, which makes it all the more effective! The canyon theming is gorgeous as always, and while there's a shorter town section, it's still fun to look at. The cave for the lift hill after the first dark section is also great and I love the use of water features in the ride"

Disney World version: Ok so this is a bit of a story. There was a doctor who noticed that lots of his patients had passed kidney stones after riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. So he and a collaborator rode on the ride a bunch of times while holding a backpack with a 3D printed kidney filled with urine and kidney stones. Amazingly, around 60% of the time when sitting in the back of the coaster, the stone would pass! The study also notes that other roller coasters in the park like the rock n roller coaster or space mountain did not have the same effect. You can read more about it here: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/09/for-kidney-health-roller-coaster-therapy/501278/

[strawberry-twinkies]

hello everyone, my name is hazel, welcome to my TedTalk- this is actually going to be a super long post, sorry!! but this is, in my honest opinion, why fall fair suite is actually a really, really good opening song (and is better in every way than uranium suite).

First, to get my bias out of the way, yes, one of the reasons is Jane Doe. Firstly, Jane is probably one of my favorite characters, and i love her- but also!! I might be incredibly stupid, but if im hearing correctly, the scale Jane sings in Fall Fair is the same as the scale she sings after her high notes in TBOJD (the ones after "Oh, my soul" and "Who I am") which is just,,, really cool!! And I love how it ties back into Jane's whole song :) I also personally think her two high notes at the end are meant to represent screaming, just like most people assume for TBOJD!! Im also just glad she's included because SHE DIED IN THE ACCIDENT TOO!! SHES JUST AS IMPORTANT AS EVERYONE ELSE!!

Aside from my,,, obvious bias, lets talk about the song itself!! It starts off very happy! The choir is talking about the fall fair!! Its so fun!! Yippeeeee!! But then Karnak starts talking, and it's like..kind of a punch in the gut even if you know the musical? Like… you hear him call it a eulogy and it's kind of a "haha what,,," and it slowly kind of hits you as it goes on and when he says "the now deceased st. cassian choir" its just. sobbing shaking. i am physically ill. AND TH. THE "i wish to give them a chance to express not what they were perceived to be, but what they dreamt they were." SCREAMING. THAT IS SO SAD.

AND THEN THE MOOD COMPLETELY DROPS (like the rollar coaster haha)??? And it starts with the slow piano music anD THEIR LITTLE SOLOS ACTUALLY KILL ME. I love how everyone gets a part (except jane :( ) and theyre so good and so jjust,,,, they tell their reactions so well in my opinion?? The "I wonder how can this be fair?" part. i am deceased. LIKE ITS LITERALLY A PUN? OR AT LEAST A PLAY ON WORDS?? But also the whole vibe of it is so,,,, hrrgh. And then Jane shows up but shes not there so its this spooky soprano lady singing a spooky scale-

"What a load of friggin' junk! That crusty carnie, clearly drunk! Sue that fair for everything they've got!" "But what's the point of even suing? Dead, we're done, there's no undoing. Nothing left to do except to rot!" JUNDJNFJnjFG THIS PART KILLS ME. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. OCEAN IS SO ANGRY AND LIKE,,, GGRRRR. Ocean is so upset that she died. She didn't want to even get on the ride (more on that later) and now she's dead becausse of it. She died on a roller coaster, of all things, and now she'll never mean anything to anyone and she'll never matter for anything besides her DEATH,,,, she's just going to be remmebered as some hippie's daughter that was in choir and died in a roller coaster accident like DJNjnFJNFFGFNJG im crying.

And then there's the slightly silly part and I KNOW the line "Now i know what YOLO really means" is supposed to be silly but it breaks my HEART. Like, Mischa. Bby. I WISH YOU STAYED ALIVE AND MARRIED THALIA,,, SHE IS REAL IN MY HEART AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER,,,, but like,, that line hurts so much idk why

ALSO!! The "Life is just a dream" line echoes the progression in "It's just a ride" which is cool!! :D I really like that personally, I think it's a nice little reference tthere :>

Then the next part is in Uranium suite so. :)

BUT THE ROUND AND ROUND PART I PERSONALLY LOVE. AND THEN OCEAN SJNJDJNFJNNJD- THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FEEL SAFE ON THE RIDE AND DIDNT WANT TO GO??? IT HURTS ME SO BADLY. LIKE, OCEAN BBY NOOO- I WISH YOUD HAVE LISTENED TO YOUR INTUITION-

And then the way you think it ends, but it doesn't is so cool in my opinion?? And also the "we're never going back" is just. i love it. Then the progression of "but what really happens" is so good?? And Jane coming back in is honestly just,,, i love it. It reallly finishes the sound in my opinion :) i love jane so much and her soprano is so silly!!

Two more things I forgot to include!! First of all, Fall Fair being right before Jane Doe's Entrance is cool because along with Karnak's Dream of Life, it introduces her before she's officially introduced!! Like, "Oh, by the way, here's the mysterious soprano you guys heard earlier!" and I love it :)

ALSO!! Fall Fair Suite is the first song the whole choir sings together, and It's Just a Ride is the last song they all sing together and like,, the fact that they follow a similar motif at one point is like.. a nice little nod and i love it!! This musical you guys,,, they actually thought of EVERYTHING and its so good <3 <3 <3

Thank you all for reading this!! <3 + dont kill me if you like Uranium Suite no hate to it i just think Fall Fair Suite is really really good :)

[thenewfuture]

Hopefully most of them can handle the rollercoaster without getting sick-

*Jabberwock Island, 4th Island....3:05 pm...*

R-Roller coaster...?

Ah yes! As you can see, the 4th Island is one big amusement park. Filled with games, various rides, and of course, a rollercoaster!

Awwwwhhh yeeeaaaahh baaabyyyy! That is what I'm talking about!

I wanna do the roller coaster first! C'mon, c'mon, c'moooon!

Oh yeah, that friggin' thing...

Honestly, I haven't been on any roller coasters before, so this will be a new experience for me.

..........

You okay, Mahiru?

Oh, me? Nah nah nah, I-I'm fine. I-I'm good. Tooootally looking forward to this. Totally. Mhmm. Aaaabsoultely fine with this...

--------------------

*On the platform to the coaster*

Oh. Wait a moment. I just realized...

No one is here to operate it for us....

Oh wow, total bummer. How very upsetting. Oh well, nothing we can do about that, so let's get a move on-

*bzzzzrrrttt!*

--------------------------

I've heard your call for help! Here comes Chiaki!~

-------------------------

Ah!

Oh Chiaki! Splendid timing!

-------------------------

We've come to assist all little good boys and girls in their time of need!

There's no better duo the Pixel Rabbits Sisters!

Except maybe Mario and Luigi....and Sonic and Tails.

--------------------

!

Are you okay?

Yeah I just got....really angry when I heard that name for some reason....

[dedfandom-xwx]

Hey this is me rambling at 4am so if you don’t wanna hear my random stuff then just skip over this post, but if you do then read under the cut. Idk what this is gonna contain and it might turn into a vent or get very opinionated so please so hate on me I just wanna ramble 😭👍

Okay but like can we just talk about Noel Gruber and Mischa for a second? Or like, Eddie Dear and Frank Frankly? I just realized Eddie and drink don’t have the same last name even though they’re married. I know some people like don’t change their name and that’s like totally cool and everything like no shame but I had no clue at first that they were married. Do they even have rings…? Idc if they do or not their designs are so friggin cute. I wanna hurdle a specific VR skin of Eddie into a wall though.

ANYWAYS, Noel and Mischa, am I right? That is true best friend energy right there. So silly goofy. A angry SoundCloud rapper and a romantic gay being. I never thought better energy would come from two characters.

i started to try animating. I made a little Home animation and I’m hoping to post it soon. Took me about 2 hours. It’s my first ever animation I’m actually a little proud of so please no throwin shame 🥲

ALSO I also wanna talk about how funny some of the word in the English language are. I know we kinda steal a lot of words from other places and like a lot of Latin words and stuff like that. But tell me, how in the fresh heck did we come up with words like the ones in science on the table thingy that I can’t spell correctly the one with all the boxes and colors and stuff?? (I know what it’s called but i just can’t spell it.)

Oaiajekeowowiwiwiwhwhwhwjskaopworurhrnxnxnxncgdbsjslalwiw

the current worm in my brain: Tick, Frank Frankly, and Sam Winchester for some reason??

man do I love supernatural. I also really like Friends and Big Bang Theory and Good Omens and Unsolved Mysteries and stuff like that. THATS what you call quality content.

i wish people would ask me more questions. Random Ik. I hate talking about myself but I like to answer peoples questions. Is there something wrong with me for that??

i really should log off and get some sleep but I don’t feel like it. This is a loooooooong ramble. I should probably shut up or som.

OKAY but physical pain. Like why. I just want to ride roller coasters and not feel like I’m gonna cry every two seconds when I’m trying to sleep.

when you meet a buisness man you must stake him by the hand

I wanna lick a book. Like one of the really old ones with canvas covers. Feel like it’s taste good.

I feel like Sundrops pants would be such a bad texture. Probably grimy and yucky and like a potato sack.

YUPPEE

In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City, Saskatchewan. But in my dreams I played a different role. I was Monique Gibeau in post-war France!

not gonna say the next line cause it’s a bit SuGeStIvE I guess

why are suggestive songs such a bop. Like you take away the lyrics or listen to piano versions and I’m head banging like I’m at a rock concert like it’s that good. For example, Say No To This from Hamilton. Or ofc, Noel’s Lament from RTC. BANGERS BRO. As an ace person, yeah a little uncomfy BUT THEYRE SO GOOD WKSGSISNWBSOSK

I wanna eat fries

I need sleep

WE ALLLLL HAVE A WOOOOORM IN OUT BRAAAAAAAAAAIN

I’m legit crying over SIOB rn why am I like this if didn’t even watch the episode kasoajwosgsiswdns

imma try to end this ramble here. If you make it this far, you’re amazing. Hope you’re having a nice day/night/evening/afternoon! 🫀🫀

and an apple for Wally 🍎

🚪🏃

[shallowseeker]

obsessed w cas driving today. apparently.

when cas drives, he tries so hard to encourage dean to sleep on the way.

///

cas: “it’s dark, Dean. you don’t need to be awake. i assure you that i am perfectly capable of driving.”

dean: “mm.”

(pause)

cas: “oh. the impala doesn’t have this, but my seat leans back. there’s a lever. over there. on the side. dean.”

dean: (snorts) “i know how to—“

cas: “not the buttons, dean. that’s up and down. the lever.”

dean: “i’m trying, dammit! it’s stuck.”

cas: “oh. jack did spill last time. maybe…?”

dean: “what was he drinking, a cement smoothie?”

at the next red light, cas puts the dodge in park, unclicks his seatbelt, and leans all the way over. he presses against him as he reaches with his left hand. dean is so surprised, he forgets to breathe.

cas’s hand warmly encircles dean’s, where’s he’s fruitlessly straining against the stubborn lever, and then, cas gives them a good, solid yank.

click.

dean’s bracing too hard against everything, so the consequence is that his seat friggin’ flies backwards. whooooa, his stomach rolls, roller coaster-like, and he tastes a gross, two-hour old sonic shake in his spit.

then, dean finds himself gaping up at cas’s perplexed face. dean’s other hand had flung up and instinctually grabbed hold of his shirt collar for support, so the result is cas is kinda awkwardly hunched over him and his newly reclined seat.

and they’re close. chest to chest. cas’s hand and his are still clamped around the lever.

“uh,” dean wets his lips, embarrassed. “heh-heh. that helped, huh.”

cas blinks. “huh?”

Hoooooooooooooooonk.

holy shit, dean’s whole body seizes up and he hangs onto cas even tighter—Jesus Christ, someone must be fuckin’ layin’ down on their car horn.

A black SUV whooshes past them, speeding through the (now-green) light and wagging all kinds of rude finger gestures as they go.

dean scowls. asshole drivers.

cas clears his throat, murmurs something dean doesn’t quite get, and then the weight of his chest lets up. it’s less of a relief than it should be. as he lifts, dean’s body goes up with him a little ways, until he remembers to let go.

dean unleashes the breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding. his heart’s hammering, and if he’s honest, it’s not all down to the adrenaline of road rage.

how the hell is he gonna sleep now?

/

the light’s already red again, so they have wait some more. dean turns over on his side and stares, trying to get a read on him.

cas looks stoic. almost too stoic. cas clicks the radio on low, and something blues-ey fills the truck cabin.

“will the radio interfere with your efforts to sleep?”

the question feels startlingly loud for some reason.

“uh…nah. i’m good.”

the reclined passenger seat really ain’t too bad, except that it’s a little hard on the neck. dean’s hopped in the dodge for several long trips now, and he’s gotta admit it’s a solid ride.

after missing the first green, it’s apparently the longest red light ever now, and cas leans forward to shrug off his coat.

what the-?

heart in his throat, dean zeroes in on how the fabric pulls across his shoulders. meanwhile, cas balls up his coat, and before dean can argue, he’s shoving it under dean’s head, like a makeshift pillow.

immediately, it eases the tension in his neck.

he feels weirdly bashful about it. can’t quite meet cas’s eyes. “th-thanks.”

the fabric is warm against his face as cas takes it outta park and powers through the light. they hit a longer stretch of road and the ride falls into the lull of a good rhythm. between the comforting sight of cas’s profile, the croon of B.B. king, and the earthy scent of the coat, he starts to go.

dean loses out to a gaping yawn, and the corner of cas’s mouth twitches—his version of a megawatt smile.

“comfortable?”

he is.

dean hmms in reply: “comfy enough.”

cas cuts his eyes sideways and smiles more openly. dean just feels lazy and warm now, like it’s a lazy sunday morning and he’s swathed in bedsheets, rather than packed into a moving vehicle on a twilit 4 a.m. all-nighter for a case.

dean’s maybe a little delirious when he says, “we should get heated seats.”

“heated seats?”

“yeah.” for the longer trips.

then dean’s out.

[lynxgriffin]

Who’s driving this crazy contraption, anyway?

Yeeuh another new part for Paper Trail is here! In which the gang has to roller coaster their way to victory. It seems the only thing that could make roller coasters not fun is backseat drivers.

This will be the last part for this year, as it’s now holiday and relaxation time for me! New parts will be coming along soon in January, though! Have a great rest of the year!!

- Paper Trail -

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[kbuggg3]

~S u p e r n a t u r a l~ CasxReader: “Crazy In Love”

IMAGINE: After risking their lives for a mysterious piece of clay, Sam, Dean, and (y/n) get a call that something happened to Cas at the hospital (s7 e21).

“Well, c’mon Meg! Give us more details! Can you at least tell me if he’s ok?... What do you mean you don’t know?” Sam angrily spoke into the phone and (y/n) and Dean exchanged scared looks as they anxiously waited to hear about the news of their best friend. Approximately an hour before all of this stress and anxiety appeared the Winchester brothers and their closest companion (y/n) Singer were hiding out in an old, abandoned jail staring at the block of clay that lay on the dust covered table.

“So what I’m getting from this is… we risked our lives for a lump of clay?” Sam looked at the girl and shrugged with a reply, “There’s gotta be more to it than just that. I mean, the Leviathans were treating it like Dean treats his car!”

“Hey!” Dean snapped. “Don’t judge me.” Sam just rolled his eyes while (y/n) continued to think aloud. “Maybe there's something inside?” This earned an odd look from Dean and she huffed in frustration. “Wha- Well I don’t know! I’m running out of ideas. That’s all I’ve got goin’ on up here unless one of you can think of something better.” Sam and Dean shared a look then shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

Dean grabbed a hammer and Sam grabbed 3 pairs of goggles, handing them out to each person. After making sure everyone had their protective eyewear on, Dean brought the hammer up into the air and struck hard on the block of clay. The moment the hammer hit the clay, causing pieces to fly everywhere, a crack of lightning, a quick rumbling of thunder was heard, and the rusty building shook for a second. The three looked at one another without speaking a word and Dean soon continued on again. Once again, he struck the clay with the hammer and thunder rumbled and the building shook. “Um is it just me or is-”

“Ya,” Sam cut in, interrupting (y/n). “That’s not normal.” Dean debated whether or not he should continue. Whatever is in this block of clay was important enough that Leviathans were willing to sacrifice their lives for it. This could be something to end the apocalypse and put a stop to the death of mankind forever. With that, Dean repeated the actions of striking the clay with the hammer despite the loud thunder, bright lightning, and violent shaking of the building.

Eventually everything went quiet and all the clay was completely gone. (y/n) opened her eyes and released her tight grip on Sam’s arm while Dean let out a long breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding. The three stare down at what used to be a big pile of nothing and what now appeared to be a tablet. The tablet had golden writings or etching in it but neither one of them could make out what it was saying. It looked as if it were written in another language.

Before any of them could say one word, Dean received an urgent call from Meg that something had happened to Castiel back at the hospital and told them to meet her there ASAP. So that's what they did. Dean stuffed the tablet in a duffle bag and they got into the impala and drove off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After they arrive at the hospital and sneak past a few security guards, Sam, Dean, and (y/n) finally make it to the door of Castiel’s hospital room, where Meg stands chewing her finger nails and pacing back and forth. She heard multiple footsteps and looked at the group with a sigh of relief. “It took you long enough. He’s in here.” Meg opened the door and nodded her head, giving them the ‘ok’ to step inside. They walk in and see Cas staring out the window. “Hey, Cas?” The angel slowly turns around, faces them, and replies with a short “Hello, Dean.”

Castiel looks at Sam and smiles softly. “Sam,” he says with a short nod. “Hey, Castiel.” Cas’s eyes move from the tall man to the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. That’s (y/n) Singer. Of course he has met her before. She is the daughter of Bobby Singer and an old friend of the Winchester family. She was there when Cas first connected with Dean and the taller brother and ever since then he has had feelings for her that he, as an angelic and Godly being, couldn’t quite comprehend.

To a regular human being this was a natural thing, but Cas has never experienced anything like what he experiences when he’s around her. When she flashes her perfect pearly white smile at him, he can’t help but stop mid sentence and stare at her and her beautiful eyes. When she accidentally brushes his shoulder as they pass each other or touches his shoulder as she speaks softly to him or takes his hand for comfort, his face turns color and his stomach feels like he just swallowed a bunch of butterflies. And her laugh… oh her laugh… how it makes him wish he could listen to it forever. The way she scrunches up her nose as she projects this beautiful human noise from her perfect lips makes the corners of his mouth turn up slightly in a way he isn’t all too familiar with. Cas has no idea what was happening to him. If anything, he thought he was sick. But a regular human being would classify that as love. Cas was in love with (y/n).

Cas struggled to find the right words to say as he approached her and stuttered an awkward, “Hello, (y/n).” The girl fought the urge to throw herself onto him and wrap her arms around his neck, breathing in his comforting scent as she embraced him in a big hug. Instead she put a smile on her worried face and spoke to him in the soft, calming tone that he was very fond of. “Cas.” They stared at each other for a while until Dean awkwardly cleared his throat to break some of the tension. “Look at you, walking and talking. That’s great right?”

Cas forcefully peeled his eyes away from the goddess before him and looked at Dean with a goofy smile on his face. The angel approached the oldest Winchester with his pointer finger towards him. “Pull my finger.” Dean looked from the outstretched finger to Cas with a very confused look on his face. “I’m sorry. What?”

“My finger,” Cas explained. “Pull it.” Dean stood there awkwardly for a moment before gripping Castiel’s finger. Cas raised his eyebrows at him as he waited for Dean to pull his finger and sure enough he did. The moment Dean did as he was told, all the lights in the room bursted and everyone jumped at the sudden noise. All of the shattered glass fell to the ground and the group stared at Cas in disbelief as he giggled to himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“So let me get this straight. You said you remember who you are? What are you?”

“Yes of course,” Cas replied. He then gasped and turned around as if he were reminded of something he meant to say a while ago. “Outside today in the garden I followed a honeybee. I saw the welt of flowers. It was all right there! The whole plan! There’s nothing to add.” (y/n) quirked an eyebrow as she watched his gorgeous blue eyes twinkle with excitement like he just got finished riding a roller coaster or running a marathon.

“And he’s been like this for how long?”

“He’s been like that naked guy at the raver ever since he woke up. Totally useless.” Meg replied and the girl just nodded her head in response. “Well, Cas, how are you feeling? Do you feel any different from before?” Cas looked to (y/n) with a look of adoration as he spoke, “Would you just look at her. My caretaker.” The brothers looked to (y/n) with questioning looks as she gave the same look to the clueless angel in front of her. “All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.”

“You’re crazy.” 

“Crazy in love,” Cas said, sighing contently as he continued to stare at her sweetly. Of course (y/n) was flattered by this sudden affection from the angel she’s been crushing on since she first laid eyes on him, but he is obviously not in his normal Cas-like state. For all she knows this could all just be a misunderstanding and when (or if) they get him back to normal he wouldn’t even remember saying those things. After giving out long, awkward hugs and sharing random fun facts about cat penises, Cas revealed how exactly he became like this and that the tablet was The Word of God. “Ok well what does it say?” Cas crossed his arms and stuck out his lip. “No.”

“What the- Cas how old are you? Just read the friggin’ tablet!” Dean yelled frustrated.

“No.”

“Cas I swear on everything sacred if you don’t read this tablet right now so help me i will-”

“ Cas,” (y/n) spoke, cutting Dean off. Cas uncrossed his arms and straightened his posture as his facial features softened.

“Yes, my love?”

“Will you please try your hardest to read this tablet? It is very important that we find out what this says. You may even help save the world if you dooo,” (y/n) bribed, singing the last part. When Cas didn’t respond she pushed a little more. “Please, Cas? It would mean the world. Can you do it for me?” She ran a hand down his arm gently as she batted her eyelashes. Cas was sure his knees were going to give out on him any second now. He grabbed her hand off of his arm and clasped it tight with both of his hands, tucking the tablet under his arm. “I would do anything for you (y/n).

Cas held up the tablet and stared blankly at it for a while. Dean began to grow impatient. “Well?” Cas cleared his throat as he began an attempt in interpreting. “Uhhhh tree…” he looked around at everyone for a second. When no one responded and continued to stare at him, obviously expecting more information, he looked back to the tablet and continued. “Horse. Fiddler crab. I can’t read it. It wasn’t meant for angels.”

“Alright,” Meg cuts in. “This all sounds bad. What are you two idiots doing with the word of God? Let me see that thing.” She takes a step towards Castiel but is stopped when Dean tells her to back off. “C’mon Dean. It’s my life on the line too.” Cas froze and stared at the ground uncomfortably with wide eyes. “I said. Back. Off. Meg.”

“Dang it enough of this ‘demons are second class citizens’ crap!” Cas suddenly cut in saying “Don’t like conflict” and teleported out of the room, letting the tablet drop to the ground and break into 3 pieces. “What the h*ll was that?” Meg just scoffed and crossed her arms. “You heard him. He doesn’t like conflict.” She flashed a cocky smile causing Dean’s jaw to clench and his hands to ball into fists.

“You know what? We don’t have time for this crap. (y/n), you deal with the tablet, Sam, you do research on how to read this friggin’ thing, and I’ll go talk to Cas.”

“Actually, Dean.” (y/n) cut in making Dean stop at the doorway and look at her. “Maybe I should go with you to talk to Cas. You and him do have a special bond but I have a strong feeling that the little amount of patience you have isn’t going to be enough at the moment.” Sam and Meg chuckled slightly but Dean ignored them. “Ya I guess you’re right. Alright. You come with me. Sam, will you please pick up the… “Word of God”? And do not let that demon get the tablet.” Sam looked at Meg awkwardly and shrugged and she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After finding Cas in the main room sitting quietly at a table, Dean sat in front of him and tried to talk to him while they played a game of “SORRY!”, requested by the lost angel himself. “Alright, Cas, where can we find this ‘Metatron’ guy? Is he even still alive?”

“I-I’m sorry. I believe you have to go back to start.” (y/n) giggled, earning a glare from the oldest Winchester, making her cover it up with a cough. Dean looked at the board game in front of them on the table where Cas was pointing and begrudgingly moved one of his pieces back to start like instructed. He then proceeded in his attempt to reason with the angel. “Cas, this is important.” Cas once again pointed to the board, signalling that it was now Dean’s turn to pick up a card from the stack that was located in the middle of the board.

Dean angrily picked up a card, read it in his head, threw it down, and moved his piece to where the card told him to. “I think Metatron could stop a lot of bad. Do you understand?” (y/n) could tell he was growing angry and very impatient with Cas. She quietly stood against the wall, watching anxiously. “We live in a sorry universe.” Cas held up a card that said ‘SORRY’ on it and continued to explain.

“It is engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from your misfortune?” When he spoke he moved pieces around where they belonged and carried on as if he were simply talking about the weather versus the end of the world as we know it. There was no concern or emotion or feeling in his voice as he talked- whereas Dean and (y/n) held on to every word he said as they listened intently. “But these are the rules. I didn’t make them.”

“You made some of them. When you tried to become God. When you cut that hole in the wall.”

“Dean…” The two sat there looking at each other for a while before Cas continued. “It’s your move.” At this Dean slammed his hand on the board game and swiped it off the table forcefully. “Forget the damn game!” Cas looked down at his lap meekly and (y/n) took this as her que to intervene. “Dean! Woah, woah it’s ok. Calm down.” She put a hand on his arm, soothingly rubbing up and down making Cas stare. His mood quickly changed from shy to jealous as he watched (y/n) comfort Dean instead of him. Dean shook his head and stormed off leaving (y/n) and Cas alone. (y/n) took the seat Dean had previously been sitting in and looked to Cas with desperate eyes. Cas took notice of this and sat up straight with his hands folded on the table, giving her his undivided attention.

“Let's forget the game for one second. Is that ok with you?” Cas cutely looked to the side for a moment as he thought about the answer then nodded his head. (y/n) couldn’t help but smile at him. Although he wasn’t his true self right now she couldn’t help but notice how helpless and adorable he was being. He looked like a lost puppy. “Is there any way at all that you can help us?” Cas sadly shook his head and replied, “I’m sorry (y/n). I really am.” She could hear the sincerity in his voice. “It’s not your fault, Castiel.” He noticed her slumped shoulders and sad expression and thought of ways to try and cheer her up.

“M-Maybe when this whole thing is over with I can take you to a park.” (y/n) laughed making Cas’s cheeks heat up. “The park?”

“Ummm yes? Wait, no. I meant to say the strip club. Or was it the bar?”

“Cas, what are you talking about?” she giggled. “Well, quite some time ago Dean told me that if I liked a girl I should take her out somewhere. That and to wear protection, which is why I bring my angel blade everywhere I go,” Cas stated as a matter of factly and (y/n)’s eyes went wide as she attempted to hold back a laugh. “But it appears to me that I’ve forgotten where exactly I’m supposed to take you.”

“Wait a second. You like me?”

“Duh,” Cas chuckled and snorted as if she had told him a funny joke. “(y/n), I have been very fond of you since the day we met. Over the years you’ve made me feel things that I'm sure no angelic being has ever had the opportunity to experience. At first I was scared I was becoming ill with all the odd sensations in my stomach when you’d laugh or the muscle pains in my cheeks from smiling so much when you’d speak to me or even my face getting hot when you’d accidentally touch my shoulder. But after getting some professional advice from Dean I realized that I am truly in love with you.”

(y/n) had no idea what to say. She couldn’t believe that the angel she had fallen for after all these years had confessed to being in love with her. “Well in that case, maybe you’d like to take me to the ‘Bow Tie Bar�� right down the street here sometime.” Cas looked up, surprised that she accepted his invitation and nodded quickly. He was like a kid in a candy store. “Alright then. It’s a date.” A big smile made its way to Cas’s face along with a red tint to his cheeks. “D-Date. Right. Yes.” (y/n) laughed at his nervous stuttering and they sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. She then watched as his smile slowly faded and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Um, (y/n)?”

“Yes, Castiel?”

“Why exactly does the bar have a bow tie?”

[noa-nightingale]

sorry this is so long but in the spirit of fuelling the random watcher love, i just want to say i miss Making Watcher! i can imagine a new episode (or more) of them retelling the story of how they managed to keep the company thrive and move into a new office(!!!) during the pandemic.

i'm just so proud of how much they've focussed on making good content that makes people happy and of how much it seems to have paid off for them. not to mention the new people they've recruited and how inclusive the workplace is (i only recently found out that Charlotte/Charlie came out as trans and, just, how Wonderful for her!!!). plus two of the boys are getting married soon so this past year must have been quite the roller coaster in terms of personal and professional developments. omg can you imagine how good this episode will be, i miss her (Making Watcher) so much

and of course, congrats for your art! specifically for getting your art delivered safely to the bois, but also for your art in general.

Oooh a long message, hell yeah! :D

Oh my God, Making Watcher. I have to admit, I have no rewatched it very often like I sometimes do with other Watcher shows. It is just so emotional and I don't always know how to handle that. Like, in the beginning when they didn't know if it would all work out - and they put their all into it, and it has been such a journey.

I miss the wall mural in the old office, and I miss seeing the office space too. It just felt like something special, having such a comparatively small office with fewer people and starting your company in that space. And now they have that beautiful new office, they are bringing in new people and they know that their company survived the first year (during a friggin' pandemic!) and the second year is almost finished too. It's just bonkers to me sometimes.

I love to see what they accomplished. And even during quarantine, the quality of their content has not suffered, they always made such marvelous, highly entertaining and high quality content. Idk it just feels like there is a lot of work, effort, thought and passion behind it.

(I adore Charlie. I hope she is very happy, I hope she has a lot of joy and support in her life, and, yes, I love her editing. Such talent!!!)

It feels so surreal sometimes, all of this, when you stop and think about it. And I would love to see it all in a Making Watcher episode. I can't even imagine how emotional that would be, and how proud we would be of them.

(Also, we know that Shane is not the biggest fan of Making Watcher but I really enjoy him having to be open about his feelings. I like watching that. There's just something so beautiful about it that I can't entirely put into words but I need more of that.)

I am so proud of these guys, the things they created, both creatively and from a business side (and kudos especially to Steven for that), and also especially as a workplace that - as far as I can see - is inclusive and supportive.

And don't even get me started on the community that has developed around their channel and their content. There are so many kind and talented and supportive people here, and I am humbled to be part of that.

Thank you a million times for sending this, I always love a good opportunity to swoon over these people and the things they create. <3

And thank you so much for the things you said about my art! :) I know I said it before but seeing it with the Watcher guys is so surreal. Like, that is something I created, held in my hands, brought into this world, and now Shane has it. What the hell.

Please be kind to yourself, you lovely lovely person. I appreciate the hell out of your message and I hope you are doing well and that you are taking care of yourself and that you, too, have a lot of love and support in your life.

Thank you so much. 💖

[bestchar-imagines]

Hey! I love your writing! I want to request Kokichi with a girlfriend who’s an adrenaline junkie and gets herself into “dangerous” or fun situations on purpose. Like she’s super dare devily and never hesitates to have some fun. Thank you so much :)

Kokichi with a Fem!S/O who puts herself into dangerous/fun situations on purpose

Sorry for the wait! And tysm and np! :)

Idk MAYBE a warning for heights? As someone with a huge fear of heights and roller coasters i kinda felt dizzy writing this lol (it’s nothing to worry about though! im fine). It mentions a roller coaster going straight down and a mention of him friggin flying off.

♡ If someone asked him if he ever got concerned for you, he’d say no.

♡ Okay, maybe a little.

♡ The way you never hesitate to do things kinda puts him off.

♡ Aren’t you… scared?

♡ There’s pros and cons about your behavior.

♡ Pros? PRANK DATES.

♡ Extreme pranks!!

♡ Top notch!! Piss people off pranks!!

♡ It’s also really cute how you accept so quickly with such enthusiasm.

♡ Cons?

♡ … You’ll literally do everything without thinking.

♡ Look at that huge roller coaster that nearly goes straight down! Wow! Let’s go on it!

♡ Que a screaming Kokichi.

♡ Please give him love after, he’s gonna be terrified, even if he acts fearless before he goes on it.

♡ But when it started moving? Instant regret. Fear.

♡ They didn’t strap his chest down, only the hips with a metal bar, he’s small too.

♡ Convinced he was going to fly out.

♡ Crying the way up.

♡ He’s highly convinced that you’re more intense then him when it comes to daring or childish situations.

♡ Want a medal?

♡ Likes to brag about you sometimes.

♡ “My girlfriend is so much more fun than yours~”

♡ “Isn’t she the cutest?”

♡ He loves you anyway, and your adrenaline filled self.

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

Take Care of Your Husband

Cas picked his phone up and answered Sam’s call. “Hello Sam. What can I do for you?”

“I know you and Jack have been planning this trip for the two of you for weeks but for the love of all that is holy, I need you to come back to the bunker and take care of your husband,” Sam shouted.

Cas held the phone away from his ear as Sam was shouting extremely loud. “What is wrong with Dean? He was fine when we left a few days ago.”

“He’s come down with a cold and he is being a whiny asshole about it! He argues with me every time I try to help him, and he’s only getting worse. I’m about ready to strangle him or knock him into unconsciousness, I haven’t decided,” Sam said frustratedly.

Cas sighed but couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Let me talk to Jack and see if I can convince him to leave. He’s enjoying his trip to Disneyland immensely.”

“You don’t sound like you are,” Sam said.

“It’s so loud and crowded. I hate to tear him away, but I’ll be glad to be back home in the quiet of the bunker,” Cas explained as he started pushing through the crowd, looking for his pseudo son.

Sam was silent for a minute before saying, “Why don’t we trade places. I need a break from Dean, and you want away from the theme park.”

“Do you care if I fly you? Even after being together all these years, Dean still complains when I fly him anywhere.” Cas rolled his eyes at the thought of his husband’s bitching.

“I don’t care how you get me there, just please get me out of here. If I have to hear Dean whine like a little girl one more time, I’m gonna claw my ears out. The guy can nearly get his leg chopped off by a vampire and not complain but god forbid he gets a cold,” Sam complained.

Castiel chuckled. “I see Jack. Let me tell him what’s going on and then I will be at the bunker.”

“Alright, see you in a minute. Bye.”

“Bye Sam.” Cas hung up the call and slipped the phone in his trench coat pocket.

Jack turned to look at Cas, his lips stained blue from the cotton candy he was stuffing into his mouth. He waved at Cas as the older angel walked up to him. He held a handful off the sweet confection out in front of him. “Hey Cas, do you want some? It’s delicious.”

Cas shook his head. “Thank you but no. Jack, would you be upset if Sam joined you for the rest of the trip? Dean has come down with a cold and needs somebody to take care of him that isn’t his younger brother.”

Jack shoved the cotton candy in his mouth as he said, “I don’t mind. Sam will probably go on the rides with me. You go take care of Dean.”

“Thank you. I’ll be right back with Sam.” In the blink of an eye, Cas was gone. He returned barely five seconds later with a bewildered Sam.

“Give me a warning next time, Cas,” Sam grumbled as he tried to steady his tall frame.

Cas grabbed Sam’s arm to keep him from falling. “I’m sorry. You said you didn’t mind this form of travel. If you’re ok, I must return to Dean.”

Sam waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, go tend to your sick husband. Jack and I have some rides to go on.”

Jack’s face erupted into a large smile at the mention of riding rides. He grabbed Sam’s arm and pointed to the first one he wanted to go on. Cas watched as the two of them walked off, talking excitedly. With a flap of his wings, Cas was flying away from the park and towards his home. He landed in the bunker’s kitchen.

He was startled when he heard a loud sneeze echo through the hallways. Cas headed towards their room; as he got closer, he could hear Dean’s sneezes, coughs, and curse words. The door to their room was wide open and Cas leaned against the doorway and stared at the man he loved. Dean was laying in their bed with his back turned to Cas and was buried underneath no less than five blankets. His body was wracked with insistent coughing and Cas flinched at how painful it sounded.

“Stupid, fucking cold!! This fucking sucks! How do people handle this shit?? I feel like I’m dying,” Dean shouted into the room. He started to say something else but was for forced to stop as he was overcome by sneezes. “A-choo! A-chooo! A-A-CHOO!!”

Cas walked over and took a seat on the edge of the mattress. Dean immediately turned his head over his shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw Castiel sitting there. “I thought you and Jack were at Disneyland.” Dean’s voice was scratchy and thick with mucus.

Cas reached out and ran his fingers through the sweaty locks. “Sam said you were sick.”

“No shit sherlock,” Dean snapped before breaking into a coughing fit. “It was just a cough a few days ago and now I’m coughing and sneezing, and my nose can’t decide if it wants to let me breathe or suffocate me. I can’t taste a damn thing and I can hardly move a muscle without hurting.” Dean grabbed a tissue and blew his nose into it before looking at the snot. “Ugh, that’s disgusting.”

Cas scrunched his nose. “Why did you look at it?”

Dean shrugged. “Why do I do half the shit I do? I’m just glad you’re here. If I had to shove down another bowl of chicken noodle soup or cup of ginger ale, I was going to throw it at Sam’s face. I haven’t had a burger or a beer in days. Hell, he threatened to hide the keys to Baby if I didn’t lay my ass down.”

“He was just trying to take care of you,” Cas replied as he grinned at his husband’s antics. “Maybe I should let you suffer for a while longer for being such a grouchy patient.”

“No, please, don’t! I’ll apologize to him and thank him for putting up with me, but please don’t make me have to deal with this any longer. I’ve been miserable,” Dean whined.

“You are to be on your best behavior for the next two weeks and you have to apologize to and thank your brother. Otherwise, I’m going to make you sick again and you will have to let it run its course, am I understood?” Cas used his Dom voice to let Dean know he was being completely serious.

Dean shivered as Cas’ voice lowered and he stared at Dean with a cocked eyebrow. “Yes sir, I promise! Please, just make me better.”

Cas chuckled as he placed two fingers on Dean’s forehead and sent a surge of grace into the hunter’s body, eradicating all traces of the illness that plagued Dean’s body. Dean took a huge breath and relaxed against the bed. “Thanks angel. Gah, I don’t know how people without magical angel husbands deal with that. It was awful!” Dean kicked all the blankets off now that he wasn’t freezing cold anymore.

“You’re just lucky your magical angel husband hates your whining as much as your brother. You also need to thank Jack for letting me come to you,” Cas said as he shed his trench coat, suit jacket, tie, and shoes. He then slid into bed and Dean curled up against him.

“I will, I promise. I’m sorry to pull you away from your trip with Jack. I know he has been looking forward to it for weeks,” Dean replied as he let his head rest against Cas’ chest.

Cas started trailing his fingers through Dean’s hair again. “Honestly, I wasn’t enjoying it very much and I was taking the fun out of it for Jack. I think he will have a lot more fun with Sam. When I left, they were rushing off to ride rides, something Jack had been begging me to do.”

Dean reached across Cas’ chest and grabbed his free hand. “Yeah, Sam is like a big kid when it comes to theme parks. I’m not a huge fan of them myself. The food is good but that’s about it. The games are rigged and if I won’t fly on a plane, you think there’s any chance of getting me on a friggin roller coaster?”

“Well, I’m sure Sam will be far better entertainment than I was.” Cas pressed a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. “Whatever shall we do to occupy ourselves while they’re gone?”

Dean grinned at Cas, delight dancing in his eyes. “I’m sure we will think of something!” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to his husband’s.

“Are you going to my good boy until your brother gets back?” Cas asked as he smiled at Dean.

“I really don’t wanna be sick anytime soon, so yes sir, I promise to be good,” Dean replied quickly.

Cas pulled Dean’s head back and nipped at his exposed neck. “For some reason, I don’t believe you but that’s ok. I always enjoy turning your ass a bright red.”

Dean shivered in anticipation. “Who said I had to be in trouble?”

“Oh pet, we are going to have so much fun,” Cas whispered seductively. Dean couldn’t wait.

Tagging: @lonewolf34500 @notwithd @multifandom-fanatic @flowersforcas @cockleslovesdestiel

[aleisha-potter]

Everything that TPTB have shown us about the Finale has been ho-hum boring and MOTW and just... blah. But then the writers and actors talk about like it is BIG, and super emitional, and like it’s something we don’t see coming. So, I am so confused on how I feel. Misha’s episode counts don’t line up, so he SHOULD have one more, meaning we would see him, but then they talk and sound so real and so adamant that he has aired his last episode. And the sneak peeks sound so.... “Oh, yeah, I miss Cas, but let’s go live and eat pie!!” I feel like I’m on a friggin’ roller coaster.

[readyforsomeslapstick]

what do you think about the baby's ( gaetano ) death ?

*TAKES A VERY DEEP BREATH, FOR A VERY LONG REPLY*

Okay, so I’ve had a week to think about this, and I have thought about this in phases. With that in mind, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

REACTION #1: I was grief stricken--and I also felt like an idiot. 

The episode had some extremely Gaetano-centric moments, which I of course ADORED. This episode really humanized Gaetano for us. Sure he’s a sociopath, sure he’s violent and cruel, but he’s also still human. This episode gave us that. 

And I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN that this meant he would die; it’s a typical Fargo trick. And yet, when Gaetano shot Odis I let out this huge sigh of relief. I even remember saying out loud to the TV, “Oh, thank God.” 

And I was already formulating the future in my head. “So, Gaetano makes it to the final episode, I’m sure he’ll die then though, so I wonder how--”

THEN BAM. He trips, and falls, and he shoots himself. And the sound I made--a mix of a groan, and a gasp, and a squeal all at the same time. I scared my dogs. I will admit, I had tears in my eyes. My reaction was Josto’s reaction. 

And I remember sitting back in my seat and thinking to myself, “Well. Guess I don’t care what happens to anyone in this show now.” But, of course, I didn’t change the channel because...it’s Fargo. Gotta see how it ends!!

(Also, during the 4x11 promo I remembered I’m emotionally invested in Violante, too, and seems like he gets some major screen time so...yay!)

REACTION #2: Monday or Tuesday, I started to find it a little funny. 

I mean, there is undoubtedly humor in how he goes. Haven’t we all been joking on this very blog about his adorable, pool noodle brain? 

The man is not a genius by any stretch of the imagination. He’s clumsy, and goofy, and at times clownish. 

How fitting is it that Gaetano trips over his own feet, or the curb, and tries to break his fall with his gun and then shoots himself. 

I can’t think of the last time there was a more Fargo-ish death. And if I didn’t like Gaetano so friggin’ much, I might have even laughed.

(All of that said, I would argue that in 4x10 we actually see some of the shadows of what a thoughtful Gaetano might be. As Josto’s confidante, he advises the boss--maybe even more than Violante at this point. Josto may be the one coming up with the plans, but Gaetano is steering him on which plans to follow and which plans are dumb. 

(And that scene with Gaetano, Josto, Violante and the New York goon? Gaetano is constantly watching our New York man. He knows the criticality of what’s going on. He’s trying to make Josto look good in front of the man reporting back to the real bosses. 

(And I STILL wonder how much of this Gaetano and Violante already discussed, because they were pretty chummy in 4x08 just before Gaetano wiped the floor with Josto...)

REACTION #3: Wednesday, I started to get a little sad again.

I know one person IRL who watches Fargo, and that person detests Gaetano. And of course their reaction was, “I’m glad he’s dead. That death was great.”

Additionally, what little commentary I saw online (outside of this blog and you lovely people) was different flavors of this same reaction. People were glad Gaetano was dead, and they thought his death was hilarious. 

I wasn’t hearing any chatter about the revelations we saw in his character, about what Gaetano’s death means for the rest of the plot and characters, or anything. People just seemed glad my son had accidentally killed himself. 

If you all can’t tell by now, I am a sucker for analysis and discussion in media. And for a person like me, when you don’t get that analysis and discussion and instead you just feel inundated by a single opinion (specifically negative)? 

Well, that gets tiring after a while, and it brings my/your mood down. 

(For the record, people are entitled to their own opinion and I’m glad they say, think, feel whatever they want. It’s not hurting anyone. I was just sad.) 

REACTION #4: Friday (yesterday), I found Salvatore Esposito’s interview, and it healed me. If you haven’t read this yet, read it now.

From the headline (“‘Fargo’ star Salvatore Esposito dishes on Gaetano’s ‘poetic’ reckoning”), I expected it to be another version of what I was hearing in REACTION #3 above. Essentially, “Haha, he’s a clown and it’s funny.”

But Salvatore’s commentary about what we learn about Gaetano in 4x10, about why Gaetano’s death is fitting, about the poetry of it...this is what I needed. 

There are so many gems in this article, but this was my favorite: “I think there’s something poetic in the fact that only Gaetano can kill Gaetano.”

He is spot on. In the land of Taking & Killing, isn’t Gaetano king? So who could possibly kill Gaetano? Only himself. This alone puts me at peace. 

And it got me reflecting on past moments in the season with Gaetano, and how we see Gaetano attempting to project this graceful and cultured facade...and I remembered the moment when he slips on the ice? I call that foreshadowing.

And while I’m still so sad Gaetano died, I knew it was inevitable. And I’m just glad that we got some really hilarious and insightful and borderline beautiful moments with Gaetano before he went. I’m glad Gaetano was a character at all!

IN SUMMARY: His death put me on a roller coaster of emotions, but I am now prepared to go into 4x11 a free-spirited person. 

Not only that, but I’m just grateful for Salvatore Esposito. For his depiction of Gaetano and what he brought to the role, but also for his insight into the portrayal of Gaetano and what he sees in the character that is terrible and horrible and all of those other ugly things--but is also human, and has human qualities, and deserves that serious and human representation. 

P.S. 10 points to your house for calling him baby. RIP our son. 😭

[simptasia]

character number ask game thingy!!!!!! let's do jack and or ana lucia and the numbers areeee 2, 4, 7, 11 (doesn't have to be a specific song just like. music genre or smth idk) , 15, 16, 24, 25. as always you dont have to do all or both charas just what you want :) OH bonus since we're both reblogging supernatural maybe a cheeky cas + 10, 15, 16

ooh wasn’t expecting jack and ana lucia (me making lost headcanons not involving the sci trio requires using at least 4 extra braincells, as you know)

thanks lisa!

[cracks knuckles]

jack

fave colour: blue

fave movie: the breakfast club (it was the first thing that popped into my head and i was like “...yeah, that feels right”)

fave pizza toppings: pepperoni and cheese

song they dance their ass off to: jack does not dance, he shuffles happily or awkwardly. you said i can do genre, so, like technically you can dance to anything but jack doesn’t dance to rock. he bops his head. jack “dances” to billy joel, some beatles songs, and whatever pop/punk/country music kate has put on

my first impression of this character: i can’t remember specific feelings about jack right away, i was sort of just cautiously judging the show (i didnt know it’d be good). i remember in his first proper scene, being taken back by his voice because it’s higher than i expected. i do remember early in the watch i didn’t like him though. i think that applies to most lost fans. i bounced back and forth between “okay i do feel bad for you” and finding him insufferable. i found his first centric episode REALLY engaging. this sounds all over the place but thats jack for ya

my thoughts on this character now: well it was a slow burn but over time i grew to like jack and then love him. i acknowledge he isn’t easy to love, but he got me. fucker got me. so love/hate? like i love him but when he’s bad it’s painful (and it’s worse because i know he’s a good boy!). even when i didn’t like him i always found him endearing and sympathetic. and my headcanon that he’s autistic really helped him make sense to me

are they a good cook or bad cook: technically he’s an alright cook, he just won’t ever flavour the chicken. nice omelettes and pancakes tho (in case you shouldn’t tell, i see jack as having the most generic taste in food and drink ever. it amuses me and hey its in character)

signature dinner dish: beef, macaroni and cheese. beefaroni!

ana lucia

fave colour: black

fave movie: i’ve decided ana loves action movies but the problem is i don’t, so i have no idea how to discern what would be a good pick for her. think stuff with shoot outs and car chases and explosions from the 80s and 90s... (MY fave action movie is con air, but i can’t just pick that, i dunno the genre well enough to know if she’d like that one)

fave pizza toppings: ham and cheese most of the time, sometimes a full on meat lovers with chili if she’s in the mood for it

song they dance their ass off to: i think its fair to assume this girl loves rock, yeah? guns & roses and bon jovi come to mind. i can see her screaming along to “living on a prayer”. beyond that, i’m afraid i find myself lacking in broader rock genre knowledge (like, how the kinda music an american puerto rican lady grew up with is probably different to the music i, a white australian, am familiar with or associate with Rock). i stand by living with a prayer tho because thats a good song to lose your fucking mind to in my opinion

my first impression of this character: its hard to recall. i’m not remembering any strong feelings one way or another, besides recognising michelle rodriguez from other things. i think i was neutral at first. i am happy to say i never went thru a “i hate ana lucia” phrase. oh its coming back to me, i was neutral but then i very quickly grew to like her. her tempestuous but secretly soft demeanour + her butch energy = <3

my thoughts on this character now: i fucking love ana lucia so much. it’s a shame she wasn’t around much, and i’ve started to notice that even in the one season she was in, she’d disappear for long stretches of time, which is a poor use of a new character [grumbles] i love her. i love her. she’s a bitch but she’s my bitch! (...more likely, i’d be hers...). last time i watched season 5, i knew ana’s ghost was gonna show up and i bit my knuckle to stop myself squealing ahead of time. i think i’d put her in my top five lost ladies. like the writing wasn’t perfect, i feel like they wasted her, but i still think she’s a great character anyways

are they a good cook or bad cook: she is, her mom made sure of that, but she doesn’t cook often, sticking to take out most of the time

signature dinner dish: i had trouble thinking of what she’d cook. so heres a little scenario instead: let’s say ana’s got a girl over for a date and she’s thinking “i like this chick, so im gonna actually make something for her” and at first she plans to make some sort of well prepared chicken-based meal and then she looks in her fridge and is like “ah...” so long story short she ends up making spaghetti bolognese (but she wants to try harder so she actually makes the sauce instead of using store bought)

castiel

do they like roller coasters: i thought about it and i’ve decided i like the idea of him not being as affected by roller coasters as humans so he’s like “huh. i don’t see how that’s supposed to be fun”. to which dean calls him a “friggin’ robot”

my first impression of his character: two things, “holy shit his voice??” (nobody prepared me) and “i ship him with dean”. literally the second he spoke to dean i shipped it. such a wham. yeah, as far as i recall, i’ve loved cas since the start. it’s an inherently interesting concept, and misha’s performance and oh my gosh the autistic energy off this bitch

my thoughts on this character now: cas is my favourite supernatural character and i love him so much. it’s hard to put into words, he’s just a really good character. eps focusing on him (or at least a b-plot are always are delight). now, i stopped watching half way thru season 8 and i’ve only seen chunks of season 9. but from what i gather cas has remained my lovely autistic-coded boy. tho i have noticed from the brief bits i’ve seen of later eps, he does emote a looot more. it’s a tad jarring but i’d adapt if i was like, actually watching the show. anyways cas good. love him. oh and the fact that he’s canonically queer brings me joy

[keeroo92]

Be My Nightmare Chapter 17

Coming Home

~~~~Previous Chapter~~~~

Word count - 3,124

Warnings for surgical procedure, somewhat graphic. Blood and gore, minor.

_________

~~~~Nico~~~~

Nico took a deep breath and stepped forward, ducking under the yellow tape criss-crossing over the open doors of the subway. The acrid stench of death hung in the air, mixing with the signature piss and sweat of the underground. Not a pretty smell.

But the view horrified her, too. Cracked glass and smeared blood, a few bullet casings and two blue-clad bodies lying on the floor like dolls discarded by a child with a new toy. Her comrades deserved so much better.

Her heart clenched as she saw their frozen faces. It was Franklin and Taylor; she’d chatted with them by the water cooler the other day. Taylor told her that stupid joke about the zero and the eight, and Franklin… he was only just learning the ropes. His whole life ahead of him.

It made her want to scream.

She wasn’t unfamiliar with the unfairness of life. It twisted her up and spat her out more than once over the years. She’d fought tooth and claw to get where she was, struggle didn’t surprise her anymore. Misfortune had a cruel tendency to affect kind folks more than those who deserved it, but she always hoped to change that, even just a little. To leave the world better than when she entered it was all she wanted from life, despite how difficult the battle was. She could deal with the bad shit.

Still sucked to see the bad shit, though.

We gotta catch this fucker.

Balled fists held tight at her sides, she forced her eyes away from the corpses of her brothers in arms to scan the scene for any evidence that might lead to tracking down the psychopath who ended their lives. Anything would do, any thread she could tug to unravel the mystery and get to slap cuffs on the bastard. She’d never wanted to catch a criminal so badly, so deeply it kept her awake at night.

I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re going down, V.

The background check hadn’t given them much - he’d come from a middle class family, nothing remarkable about his childhood other than his fascination with art. By all accounts, while his young friends were off causing mischief, he’d be found visiting a museum or practicing his brushwork.

That is, until the shooting.

Regardless of his crimes, her heart went out to the poor bastard. Surviving a mass shooting by the sacrifice of a friend was enough to traumatize anyone. It was a damned shame (and an embarrassment to the healthcare system) that he didn’t get the help he needed afterward.

Still didn’t excuse killing folks, though.

At least they had one lead to follow - the doctor. After the dark-haired lunatic fled her apartment, it didn’t take long to get a search warrant. Techs were combing through the place, but they already had enough to put her away for at least a decade. Lobotomizing her own father, un-friggin-believable.

Tony was in shock, caught completely off guard by the doctor’s actions. His own hand-picked medical consultant, in league with the killer they hunted. A twist for the history books, he’d said. She’d never seen him so dumbfounded.

Despite being proven right about her suspicions, it turned Nico’s stomach to see the emptiness in Waras’s father’s eyes, the lack of humanity left behind. He was lucky to be alive, supposedly, but Nico had her doubts. Maybe death was a kinder fate than what the poor man endured.

He’ll never be the same. None of us will.

“I got a blood trail!”

Nico’s lips curved into a predatory smile. Franklin must’ve wounded the fucker, his last act one that could lead to the arrest of his killer. Cold comfort to his loved ones, but still. It was something.

~~~~Kotomi~~~~

The familiar click of her heels on cement vanished amidst the cries of the crowd. Enraged faces lined the entrance to Mundus Psychiatric Hospital, signs and shouts overwhelmingly oppressive. At least they weren't throwing fruit today. She’d count her blessings.

The protests first started a few days after the local news announced that V was the lead suspect in the recent killings, and that he’d escaped the historically secure facility. Citizens fearing for their safety flocked to the streets, calling for the hospital to close and the patients to go elsewhere, though nobody seemed to know where.  As long as it wasn’t here.

Nobody cares about an actual solution, just that the problem gets dumped on someone else’s lap.

Then one of the orderlies told the tale of the fire, heightening the rage and terror. Malphas still hadn’t figured out who talked, but when he did, heads were going to roll. The director’s professional reputation was irrevocably tainted, along with the entire staff (though his was the only name being slandered in the streets).

It shocked her to see normal people so furious. People who barely registered the hospital’s existence before, now vilifying it at every opportunity. It didn’t matter that the place housed mostly harmless individuals, or that the staff genuinely tried to help them heal. All the goodwill vanished in the wake of V’s rampage.

“Bitch! Don’t you care that folks are dying?!”

Kotomi flinched as a protester caught her gaze and stepped forward from the picket line, foam-flecked lips spewing vitriol. She moved faster; maybe she could get inside before it got any worse.

“How many innocent people have to get slaughtered before you fuckers close this shithole?! Give ’em all the chair, I say!”

She crossed her arms and curled her shoulders inward, her heart hammering as she tried to pass the man by. She only wanted to go to work. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? She hadn’t done any harm.

That’s not quite true…

In a way, it was all her fault. If she hadn’t frozen up during the fire, maybe things would have turned out differently. Why did she always freeze when it mattered most?

Her thoughts stopped as the man grabbed her shoulder, his grip tight enough to bruise. His rancid breath fanned over her face as he shouted at her, the words lost in the wake of her terror. Quaking legs barely kept her upright as her body flooded with adrenaline, her pupils dilating and sweat blooming on her palms and forehead. Maybe if she stayed quiet, he’d let her go? Could she just wait it out?

What choice did she have?

And then a familiar voice called her name, a pair of worried brown eyes replacing those of the protester as Rob led her inside. Someone else coming to her rescue yet again, because she lacked the strength to save herself.

“Are you alright, Dr. Ishida?” he asked.

She forced her fingers to relax their iron grip on her purse strap. “I- I think so.”

Rob sighed and glanced back at the crowd, their shouting audible through the glass door. “They’re getting bolder. I’ll talk to Aaron again, there’s got to be something we can do.”

But they both knew there was little point. Until V was caught, nothing would quench the fury of the citizens or lessen their drive to close the facility. Maybe her mother was right, she should’ve gone into a different field. It might be time to walk away.

~~~~V~~~~

The artist grimaced as he limped along, his palm pressed against his thigh to staunch the bleeding and ease the pain. Each step he took brought another pang of agony, and he couldn’t find an exit wound- the bullet remained. He’d have to get it out and treat the wound. First, however, he needed to find a safe place to recuperate.

He leaned against a shipping container, cautiously lifting his palm to check the blood flow. It was slowing, at least. Progress. His belt proved an effective tourniquet. 

A gust of icy wind reminded him of his precarious position. The warehouse district wasn’t prone to pedestrians, which meant fewer eyes to spot him, but it also meant he stood out like a sore thumb to anyone who wandered by. He couldn’t afford to stay here long.

Keep moving. Can’t stop now.

He hobbled on, gritting his teeth against the pain. Sweat beaded on his forehead, itchy as it dripped through his hair. Aches ricocheted through his body, his muscles tired and close to quitting on him. He needed rest, a reprieve and a chance to plot his next move. Where could he go?

His friends stayed oddly silent. Did they abandon him? Unlikely, but he couldn’t discount the possibility. Either way, he had only himself to rely on.

Relying on others teaches one not to stand on their own. This is better.

Before long, his mind wandered to the worst three minutes of his life. It was inevitable after the reminders at the subway, the familiar crack of thunder as guns fired. How much pain had Nero endured that day? They said he’d been hit six times.

“Six… Six twelve Oak street…” he muttered. His vision swam and the artist faltered, shaking his head at his own foolishness.

He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. Today was the day; he’d been looking forward to it. He’d had his doubts at first, but with each session Nero’s skill improved. The edges of his latest tattoos featured crisp definition, the whorls perfectly curved to follow the natural shape of his biceps.

The artist didn't notice the flush in his face and the dazed film in his eyes as he turned and set off in a new direction, his steps unsteady but determined. A slight smile graced his lips. What design would Nero add to the canvas of his flesh this time?  

~~~~Reader~~~~

You sprinted to your ancient car, barely noticing the absence of the undercover cop car as you forced the engine to roar to life. No doubt they’d seen V leave and given chase, which meant you didn’t have the choice of going back to your apartment. The police would search it from top to bottom.

They’re going to find the sketches…

It seemed so long ago that the artist first grasped that tiny nub of charcoal in your office, portraying your face in shades of grey. The roller coaster hadn’t stopped since that day, and it showed no signs of slowing.

But fuck it. No sense dwelling on what could’ve been, the life you could’ve had if you hadn’t requested his case. What was done was done. Time to get on with it.

You flicked on the radio as you pulled onto the main road. An aggressive guitar solo blared out and you winced as you turned the volume down, switching the channel a beat later. Social media probably had better info than the radio, but reading and driving didn’t mix.

“-unarmed but extremely dangerous. Police are advising locals to leave the area immediately. Last sighted exiting the subway station on 119th street, but current whereabouts unknown-”

The subway. Smart.

As if you’d expect anything less.

Within ten minutes, you reached 119th. Flashing lights and sirens greeted you, blue-clad officers milling around as one of them plastered crime scene tape over the railing. Mid-morning sunlight streamed down like a sick spotlight.

If V was here, he was beyond your reach.

Shit.

You turned at the next cross street. The police undoubtedly had your license plate by now, you’d need to do something about that. No sense lingering in a place chock full of them. But where to go? Where would V go?

A soft ding stole your attention; a new message. You crossed your fingers as you pulled over to check your phone.

It wasn’t far, maybe a five-minute drive. Thank the heavens, at least now you knew he hadn’t gotten arrested. Yet.

Still… the message had you worried. It lacked his usual eloquence and wit, and didn’t say whether he was physically okay. Shots fired, the TV said. You pursed your lips and pulled back into traffic, mind whirling with uncountable ways V might be injured. By the time you parked a block away from the quaint, two-story house, you could barely breathe through the anxiety.

Grabbing your backpack, you didn’t even bother locking the car as you speed walked to the yellow front door. What would you find within? If they hurt the artist, would you be able to help? What if only his corpse awaited you?

You swallowed thickly and tried the doorknob. Unlocked; you took a deep breath and entered. Nothing immediately jumped out at you. Photos of a white-haired teenager lined a nearby wall, a hall table holding mail and a dish to leave one’s keys in beneath them. No blood stained the walls, no sounds of pain echoed from another room. It was quiet.

“V? Are you here?”

No answer. Not good. You set aside your backpack and tried again, making your way through the home. Each second he didn't respond only heightened your fear, stinging your tongue with metal. He had to be seriously hurt or incapacitated somehow, and neither option helped the situation.

“V? Come on, where are you?” Your voice shuddered.

“...curse my stars…”

You spun and raced toward the voice, tearing open a door you’d missed before to find the artist, curled up on a massive bed. Blood stained the sheets, concentrated near his thigh. Sweat coated his brow and his eyes stared at nothing, unseeing in the grip of his pain and madness.

“...love so high…”

“Don’t worry, V. I’ve got you,” you murmured as you cupped his clammy cheek. Dilated eyes, sweat and warm to the touch. Most likely an infection. You shoved aside your feelings; time to get to work. Right now, he needed your medical care more than anything else you offered.

Fabric rustled as you took a seat beside him and searched for the source of the blood. Through the fabric of his jeans it was impossible to tell, so you quickly tugged them off, taking care to reapply his improvised tourniquet once the cloth was out of the way. Heart pounding, you finally found a darker spot in the tensor fasciae, close to his hip. There was no exit wound.

Oh, V… you walked here with a bullet in your leg?

At least it wasn’t too deep. Odd, but you’d take what you could get. A thin trickle of crimson oozed from the wound, but he wasn’t in danger of bleeding out yet. Assuming he hadn’t bled too much during his escape…

“I need to find supplies to treat you. I’ll be right back,” you said, stroking damp hair from his brow. His skin was on fire. He didn’t respond.

You pursed your lips and left him, searching the bathrooms and kitchen until you had what you needed. A moment more spent thoroughly washing your hands, and you returned. The artist hadn’t moved an inch.

Is he having an episode, too? Maybe that’s for the best, it’s possible he won’t notice when I take out the bullet.

The best you had was a longer than average pair of metal tweezers. If they didn’t do the job, you’d have to widen the wound. Thankfully it wasn’t close to any major arteries, so you were confident you had the skills to remove it safely. A few inches to the left, and he would’ve already been dead for an hour.

“Okay, this might hurt,” you told him, pausing for a moment before dousing his thigh with a mixture of bottled water and table salt. After a moment you turned him so the excess fluid spilled out, leaving the wound clean and ready. You gave him one last look as your fingers wrapped around your tool. The head lamp you found in the kitchen flared to life with a touch and you straddled his injured leg, keeping it as still as possible.

“Now for the really fun part…”

The artist twitched feebly as you probed the hole. For once it seemed his episodes were a blessing; if he were even remotely coherent, he surely would have screamed.

Centimeter by centimeter, you searched for the signature resistance of metal surrounded by human tissue. More blood leaked from the wound, drenching your hands and slowing your progress. Muttered verses occasionally interrupted the squelch of your work, but you paid his words no mind. A distraction surgeon never helped.

At last you found it, an unrelenting hardness amongst the fibrous muscle. You tapped around the bullet, getting a feel for its dimensions before making your move. The tweezers barely opened wide enough to take hold, but they did the job and you felt the bullet disturb the surrounding tissue as you slowly drew it out with a satisfying plop.

You sighed and set aside your prize. Another round of improvised saline later, you carefully sutured the wound closed and bandaged the area. The artist still made no indication of awareness, just lying there as you put him back together.

The moment you set down the roll of bandages, you started trembling. V’s blood covered your hands, the sour stench of sweat and chemicals hanging in the air. As pointless as it was, you couldn’t help but wonder why life had to be this difficult. The last twenty-four hours alone had your nerves begging for a break. What a sick world, where you had to remove a bullet from the man you lo-

Holy shit.

Air slipped from your gaping mouth as you fell back against the wall. A manic chuckle followed, then another. Was this what love was like? You’d never come close to it before, to this burning like fire in your soul. The thought of losing V mere hours ago had you in tears, falling apart like an infant without its mother for the first time. When you were with him, despite his murderous and unpredictable nature, you felt safe.

And the things you’d done for him - withholding medical information, lying to your boss and risking your medical license, everything you’d spent years working towards; not to mention what you did to your father.

He’d forced you to face yourself, someone you didn’t even know anymore. Changed your understanding of the world and of art, torn asunder your preconceptions and lit the way to new views. The eloquence of his speech, the grace in his movement, the curve of that smirk and the way his presence changed the atmosphere of any room…

I don’t know if this is love, but I don’t have another word that fits. Not even close. 

It was twisted; it was soaked in blood and violence, but you felt more authentic than you ever had. You smiled. Decades ago, you accepted that you might not be capable of love. 

How wonderful to be wrong.

~~~~Next Chapter~~~~

[falloutdialogue]

Porter Gage Dialogue (Long Post)

Waking Up

Ain't this about the best way to wake up...

Tempting as it is to stay put, we best get movin'.

Rise and shine, boss.

I don't know how you survived this long, sleeping that soundly...

Well hey there. Good to see you're finally up.

Player Isn’t Responding

Uhh, boss? You listenin'?

I thought we were havin' a conversation...

Hey, boss! We're talking here!

Any time now, boss...

I know you got a lot on your mind, but work with me here...

Dying

[Trying to say ‘not like this’] Not... like... 

Injured

I ain't doin' so hot, boss...

Might be down for the count here, boss...

Shit, that's a lot of blood...

Fighting

(It’s a nice touch that his fighting dialogue is the same/similar to common raider’s.)

Well, we walked right into this. Suppose we deserve it.

What, you don't wanna play no more?

Hide while you can!

Don't worry - I'll find ya...

Ain't gonna fool me. I know you're still out there.

Only a fuckin' coward hides...

That sure was fun, huh boss?

Guess they thought they had a chance.

These things just never give up, do they?

You are so dead!

Gonna tear you in half!

I'm gonna piss on your corpse!

Won't be nothin' left of you when I'm done!

Really bad move!

I've done this hundreds of times. Think you'll be any different?

Sounds like it's time to put bullets in faces.

Time to dish out a little Commonwealth Justice. Well, maybe not justice... more like... ah, screw it. It'll be fun, is the point.

[Synth] Ain't no way you're replacing me!

[Assaultron] Assaultron! Aim for the head!

[Assaultron] Watch out for the laser!

[Bloodbug] Get your blood somewhere else, vermin!

[Bloodbug] Oh no... you ain't suckin me dry!

[Deathclaw] Oh shit... Deathclaw...

[Deathclaw] Deathclaw! Time for the big guns!

[Eyebot] Friggin eyebots... shut up, already!

[Eyebot] C'mere, spare parts...

[Mirelurk] Try and hit the face!

[Mirelurk] God I hate these stupid shells...

[Mirelurk King] You ain't king of shit!

[Mirelurk King] Nice fins, show-off!

[Molerat] How many of you little shits I gotta kill?

[Molerat] You're not tunneling away this time!

Looks like someone forgot to spray for bugs...

Damn, I hate insects.

I'm doing you a favor here, slimeball.

Keep your irradiated ass away from me!

Sorry. pal - I know you're just doing your job, but you're in my way.

Friggin' bugs.

[Throwing a grenade] Here, have fun!

[Throwing a grenade] Blammo!

[Throwing a grenade] Got somethin' for ya!

Enslaving Someone

Free and in charge today, tomorrow somebody's slave. Ain't life somethin'?

Can't lie, it's always just a little bit funny to see the look on their faces when they realize what's happened...

Player Steals Something

You get caught, there's liable to be a fight. I ain't complainin', just sayin'.

Yours now, huh?

Nice lift, boss.

If they were concerned about it, they'd have taken better care of it, am I right?

Finders, keepers.

Sure hope they didn't need that.

Somebody's gonna be surprised later on...

Not everyone can pull that off. Nice lift, boss.

Exploring/Misc

Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?

Oh yeah, because what this place needed was another friggin' roller coaster.

I ain't got the brains for mazes. Hope you know where you're going.

They just slapped bottles on everything, didn't they?

Ain't no way people paid to see this shit. I refuse to believe it.

Was this actually supposed to scare folks, or make 'em laugh? I honestly can't tell.

Don't mind me, just throwin' up in my mouth a bit here.

You ask me, whole idea of these "Vaults" was messed up. Sure, stick me underground with no control over anything... What could go wrong?

[Looking at a mainframe] Well ain't this somethin'. Probably don't all work, but... I'm gonna keep my hands to myself just the same.

[laughing at roller coaster that derailed with riders on it] You imagine the looks on their faces? What a way to go.

Well, somebody had quite a party here. Not too sorry we missed it.

People actually stood in line and waited for this crap? Bunch of suckers...

[standing in western town, messing up a joke] How's it go - "This town ain't big enough for you and me..." Ah, never mind.

[laughing at tiny skyscraper models] Think this is what bein' a Behemoth is like? Rawrrr, Gage smash!

Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up.

Don't see places this orderly very often...

Been around dirt and grime so long, I ain't comfortable in a place like this.

Wow, I mean... I ain't got words.

We ain't dead, right? I'm actually seeing this?

[Entering the Institute] Good luck, General. I hope you find your son.

[Near a Loud Noise] You see any way to stop that friggin' sound?

[Near a Loud Noise] So much for never going deaf!

[Bright lights] Shit, that's bright. Some people have no manners.

[Bright lights] Really hoping that's not super bright as a distraction...

[Bright lights] Aw god, I think I just went blind in one eye...

[Smells something] That smell ain't you, right? It sure as hell ain't me...

[Bad smell] Shit - that's a smell you don't forget... Better not stick to us.

[Bad smell] The hell?... My nose ain't ever gonna work right after this...

[Bad smell] Oh damn, that is foul.

[Swimming] This is probably mostly water, right?

[Swimming] Shit, I hate getting' wet.

[Swimming] Swimmin' in irradiated water ain't exactly my idea of a good time.

[Swimming] Well, shit. Guess I needed a bath anyway.

[Sarcastic] You think the maid service here is taking on new clients? They do a bang-up job.

[Sarcastic] Yeah, this is fine. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.

This much dust means no one's been around in a while...

Well, this is filthy. And not the fun kind.

Ever seen a dust angel? Bet you I could make one.

I've seen gangs trash places before, but this is... impressive.

If I'm gonna get shot, I'd prefer it's up close. We stick around here, we ain't gonna see it coming.

You, uhh, you getting the creeps? Yeah, me neither.

Don't know about you, but I can't see in the dark.

I don't mind sticking to the shadows, but this is a little much.

Somethin' about this place don't feel right.

You know how they say some places are too quiet? Yeah...