#'hmmm are you gonna do it again? do you feel REALLY bad about it? do you feel terrible and like shit and will never do it again?'

[chewwytwee]

Do I go to my bullshit 'disciplinary hearing' stoned as shit

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Nineteen

TW - I cannot stress this enough; Eddie's junk is not of this world

“You want hot chocolate?”

“Hot cho-co-late,” Eddie repeats carefully.

“I’m having one,” and since it’s Christmas, Steve gets out a small pot to make it properly on the stove top.

Steve’s stirring the slowly heating milk when he hears back back door open, and turns to see Eddie looking out, “Stee. Snowing.”

“Is it?” Steve comes out to look, “oh yeah. That’s nice right?”

“Pretty,” Eddie says, sticking his hand out and letting one of the big fat flakes settle on his fingers. Steve has a vivid memory of the last time they were in this doorway, watching the snow together, and just how different things are right now hits him all over again. Eddie sniffs the snowflake before shoving it in his mouth, “cold water.”

“You got it baby, come on, lets have hot chocolates and watch the snow.”

When Steve tells Eddie he can’t wear his hat to bed, Eddie pouts, but he does arrange it carefully on the desk, next to Steve’s flower crown. Steve has to blink back more stupid tears at the sight, and forces himself to take a deep breath and get into bed.

“Eybrows,” Eddie says, tracing them carefully with the point of his claw, “nose,” and then he veers off a little bit, “one mole. Two mole. Three mole.” Steve shivers where Eddie’s claw drags over his throat and then back up, shifting a little in bed, “mouth.”

“What are you doing baby?”

“Gro-seree list. All the things Eddidie likes.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve mutters to himself, “how the hell are you so smooth?” He can feel himself blushing a little, which is just ridiculous.

“Not like,” Eddie rubs a knuckle through Steve’s scraggly stubble. He really does need to shave that off; he’s not drowning in a pit of despair any more, there’s no real excuse for the sad facial hair.

“No?”

Eddie shakes his head, rubbing fingertips across the smooth apple of Steve’s cheek, “good,” and then into the stubble, “bad.”

“This is smooth,” Steve tells Eddie, running his fingertips along Eddie’s arm, “this is rough,” he rubs at the stubble on Eddie’s head to demonstrate.

“Rough bad.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll get rid of it in the morning, okay?”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Breakfast morning lunch afternoon dinner night bed.”

Steve has to cogitate on that for a second, “yeah, yeah that’s right. Morning is after breakfast and before lunch. Afternoon is after lunch but before dinner.”

Eddie hums, settling down next to Steve in bed, his head resting on Steve’s shoulder, “before Hawkins Indiana, Eddidie in The Upside down.”

“That’s right baby, you got it.”

“After Monday Tuesday.”

“Yup, that’s right,” Steve yawns, “you have a good Christmas?”

“Many good. Christmas Tomorrow?”

Steve chuckles, “Christmas isn’t for a whole year. You remember what a year is?”

“January February March April...”

When Steve wakes up, it’s to the sight of Eddie’s feet right in the air. He’s lying on his back next to Steve, legs held straight up. He’s curling his toes. Sometimes all of them, sometimes just the big ones. His sleep pants have fallen down past his knees, and Steve lies there a while, just watching.

Eddie’s speaking, and Steve thinks it may have woken him despite Eddie’s obvious attempts to be very very quiet; he’s currently counting to ten. And then he says the days of the week, the months, the alphabet. He spells his name. He waves his feet around a little, and then bends his knobbly knees in turn, making circles like he’s riding an imaginary bicycle. He’s singing something to himself. ABBA, Steve finally makes out, it’s a bit mangled, ‘soopa troopa,’ the way Eddie sings it. Just the one line, over and over, ‘light’s are gonna’ blind me, shining like the sun,’ Eddie must have picked it up off the TV or the radio.

Steve must shift, or make a sound, and he gives himself away eventually, Eddie realizing he’s awake, “Stee. Morning. Breakfast food?”

“Morning baby.”

“Stee?”

“Yeah?”

“Eddidie baby, then Stee..?”

“Oh. You want a- hmmm.” Steve thinks, “how about sweetheart?”

Eddie looks terribly affronted, “Stee not food.”

Steve lifts his own leg out from under the covers, wriggling three toes at Eddie, “kind of am.”

Eddie actually makes a noise, so shocked a little puff of air escapes him as he splutters, “no!”

Steve can’t help his laughter, “too soon?”

“All tomorrows too soon!”

“Okay, okay. I won’t joke about it.” Steve thinks again, but most things he comes up with are kind of food adjacent. Joyce has kind of cornered the market on ‘honey.’ “How about love?”

“I love you.”

“I know baby, I love you too. But that’s what you could call me. Love.”

“Stee love.”

They brush their teeth together, elbow to elbow, “we really should shower.” They haven’t washed up since Christmas eve, when Steve dragged Eddie out of the pool. Steve inspects the tub; it’s streaked with disgusting gritty filth on the bottom, and the dirty blanket and clothes are still shoved into the corner of the bathroom where Steve left them.

They might be salvageable on a long enough wash, but Steve wants to get a trash bag rather than put them in his basket, they are really gross. He also hasn’t really done any meaningful amount of cleaning or tidying since the night Eddie bit his toes off...which between the injury and the moping, he felt he had a valid excuse to ignore the state of the house.

Not really now though, “I tell you what, lets have breakfast, and then do a little cleaning and some laundry, and then we shower, sound good?”

“Breakfast good.”

“Okay, I’ll just deal with this a minute,” and Eddie sits on the lid of the toilet, watching avidly as Steve shaves.

“Okay, so this goes in here,” Steve loads the washer, leaving the trash sack of really gross stuff for a separate wash later, “and then we measure the detergent like this.”

“Eddidie can?”

“Sure baby,” Steve tips the power back into the box, giving the scoop to Eddie so he can do it. Eddie carefully pours where Steve points. “Now, this is clothes, so we press this,” he points to the dial, and then the button, “so that gets rid of the dirt, and our clothes will be nice and clean.”

Eddie does it, and then grins big when the machine starts up, “done.”

“Good job, okay, so we give it a while, then we come back and set it drying, okay?”

“Okay.” Eddie waves at the machine, “bye bye dirt.”

“Help?”

“That’s real nice baby yeah, like this,” and Steve demonstrates as he moves along the book cases, around the TV, carefully dusting his mothers ornaments and picture frames, “you got it?”

“Got it.”

Steve leaves him to it, and goes and cleans the kitchen. Jon and Hopper did a great job yesterday, and Steve’s really grateful considering the amount of people who ate here, but there’s still an amount of post Christmas carnage to clear up. He takes the trash bag out since it’s filled with wrapping paper, then comes back and starts emptying the drying rack, getting the kitchen clean.

When he goes back into the lounge, Eddie’s done dusting, and he’s carefully arranging all his new things; he puts his new VHS next to the TV, ready for later.

“You want to vacuum?” Steve asks him.

“Vacuum?”

Steve retrieves it from the utility, plugging it in for Eddie and showing him how it works. “Dry?” Eddie shouts over the noise.

“No,” Steve calls back, immediately understanding the link between the hoover and the hairdryer, “clean!”

Eddie takes the hoover, and once Steve shows him how to move the plug from socket to socket, he does the whole downstairs of the house. After, they sit on the couch for a bit, Eddie’s new legs a little shaky with exertion, “you want to try a coffee?”

“Try a coffee. Want. Please.”

“Okay,” Steve makes them both a mug of coffee, making Eddie’s a little sweeter and milkier then his own, and Eddie drinks the whole thing happily. Steve figures if a beer doesn’t hurt, then a little coffee won’t either.

It turns out twenty minutes later that a bit of coffee can have side effects; they find themselves dealing with Eddie’s first poop.

“Cross the bridge,” Eddie had declared hilariously, after producing what was possibly the most heinous fart Steve had ever heard. Steve scrubs the tub while Eddie sits on the toilet, staying present but trying to give Eddie the illusion of privacy.

“Pee more bad then poop,” Eddie tells him.

“Well, at least this one doesn’t hurt, huh baby?”

“Not hurt. No ow.”

“Pee doesn’t hurt now though, does it? Just that first one?” Steve checks.

“No. No ow pee. Called first?”

“Good. That’s good.” Steve gets the shower head down to rinse away the last of the cleaning product, leaving a shiny white tub behind, “uhm...first is. One. That comes first. Monday comes first, January.”

Eddie hums, frowning like he does when he hasn’t quite grasped it yet. To be fair, Steve knows he can’t always give the best explanation for these things. “Not ow,” Eddie tells him, back onto safer ground.

“So if its not ow, we say it doesn’t hurt.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Eddie parrots back, “no ow. It doesn’t hurt. Okay.”

“That’s right baby.”

Eddie awkwardly wipes and then flushes while Steve gets the water hot for his shower, he waves at the toilet, and says, “bye bye poop,” Steve covering his face with his hand to try and muffle his snort of laughter. Eddie strips off, putting all his things in the hamper, “Stee love in tub?”

“You go first.”

Eddie frowns, “no, together.”

“I…” and Steve can’t, actually, think of a real reason why not, so he gets undressed too.

Steve shampoos and then conditions his hair while Eddie stands under the water, doing little swaps back and forth when Steve needs to rinse. Eddie’s doing a half hearted job, he keeps getting distracted by the feel of the splashing water, watching fascinated as it drips from his fingers, so Steve eventually intervenes. Steve carefully scrubbing Eddie down with the wash cloth; he’s so thin, Steve can almost make out his thigh-bones. His knees, ankles and elbows protrude and Steve could fit his fingers between Eddie’s ribs.

“You hungry? I think there’s left over cobbler in the fridge.”

Eddie nods, “cobbler. Sorry canned filling. Idge cold. Make hot?”

“Yeah I can warm it up for you.”

Once Steve’s done, Eddie limpets himself to Steve. The stubble on his head is starting to turn dark, like Eddie has a five o’clock shadow on his head, and it’s rough on Steve’s shoulder, prickling him. Steve doesn’t mind though. Steve rubs his back, following the knobs of his spine.

“We should get out,” Steve says absently.

“Maybe,” Eddie replies, making Steve snort a laugh, kissing the top of Eddie’s prickly head.

Eddie responds by leaning up to kiss Steve properly, slow and soft, “first?” He asks after.

“First what baby?”

“First kiss today?”

Steve thinks about it, “yeah. Yeap you’re right. First kiss of the day, right there.”

Eddie grins, “first kiss of the day tomorrow?”

“We can do that.”

Eddie suddenly lights up, “license first! Eddidie car after!”

“That’s it baby, exactly right,” Steve tells him, Eddie clearly finally grasping the concept.

“Called before sleep kiss?”

“That would be last. Last kiss of the day.”

“December last? Sunday?”

“Yeah, yeah baby, you got it.”

Eddie nods like there was never any doubt, leaning in to kiss Steve again. Still slow and sweet, a soft touch of lips, Eddie’s arms wrapped around Steve’s middle, holding them close. It takes a minute to register the movement, something pressing against the crease of Steve’s thigh. He leans back a little to look down.

The top of Eddie’s slit has parted; the opening wide enough to permit the...Steve doesn’t even know. It’s worming against Steve’s skin, the flesh the same color as Eddie at the base, but darkening to near black at the rounded head.

It moves freely, probably roughly the same thickness as Steve’s own cock when he’s hard. Steve watches as it moves...like it’s looking for something. It moves like a snake. Like an octopus tentacle. Nudging and casting about across the skin of Steve’s hip; when it wriggles back the other way, finding Steve’s pubic hair, it nuzzles in against it.

“Eddie,” Steve swallows thickly, stunned into a frozen state of fascination, he's pretty sure he hasn't blinked in a minute, his heart thudding loud in his ears, “what-I mean. What is that?”

“Eddidie?” Eddie says, gently reaching between them to touch Steve’s own soft cock.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathes.

Eddie’s hand slides across, touching...himself? Steve guesses?...with his fingers. The...thing seems to wake up again, tangling itself with Eddie’s fingers easily. It’s very...twisty. And bendy. The thing looks like it has a, a kind of grip on Eddie’s fingers, almost.

And then the end starts to open, six petals that slowly start to peel apart, and Steve panics, jerking away, pushing Eddie’s hips away with both hands and holding him there at arms length.

Eddie’s...dick? Seems to startle, zipping back inside him like it was never there. “Holy shit. Holy shit,” Steve breathes, drawing in only slightly panicked breaths. He can feel his heart banging away in his chest, “pants.” He croaks out, desperately, “we should both put on pants.”

Part Twenty One

[joedirtymadre]

How bout an angst and fluffy Luffy x reader? Like, he's trying his best to be a good boyfriend but he doesn't know exactly how do it. So he gets insecure and afraid of reader leaving him

The Painting

LUFFY X READER! ANGST + FLUFF! (STILL ACCEPTING REQUESTS! SEND EM RN! 😤😤)

You were peacefully working on a new painting. You had a strong passion for art, but recently you have decided to pick up painting again. Plus, today is a slow day on the ship, so why not? You hummed to yourself, as you continued to add the finishing touches to your work. “Wow, you really outdid yourself this time,” you smiled to yourself as you took a moment to look at your canvas. It was a portrait of the whole crew, you wanted to surprise everyone at dinner with it. You spent the last few weeks on it too, so I’m sure that they’ve been waiting for the reveal.

You then heard your door open and saw Luffy. “Hey Luffy,” you smiled. “Hi (Y/N)! Hey can I hide here? I’m playing hide and seek with Usopp and Chopper,” he explained as he ran over and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. “Sure, but please don’t tip over my supplies. Last time you made a mess I spent 2 weeks cleaning it up,” you sighed. “I promise!” He said as he quickly jumped into your supply closet.

You continued your artwork, until you were disrupted again. You heard a small knock on the door and soon Chopper opened the door. “Hi Chopper, what brings you here?” You asked. “Hi (Y/N)! Have you seen Luffy?” He asked. “Hmmm… I haven’t sorry,” you smiled. “Hmmm… well can I look around your office? Just in case,” he said. “Go ahead,” you said as you continued painting.

Chopper checked under the table, in your art boxes, and was now heading to your closet. You lightly giggled as you knew your boyfriend was about to get caught. Chopper quickly opened the closet door, and out jumped Luffy. He began running around the small office, “Hey Luffy, this isn’t tag!” Chopper shouted as he chased him. “Now it is!” He yelled, as they circled around you. “Luffy be care-“ you were cut off by Luffy running into you. You fell straight into your paint, easel, and most importantly your painting.

The two boys quickly stopped and stared as you slowly picked yourself up and stared at the destroyed painting. Smudged and ripped, even your easel broke. “(Y-Y/N) I-“ you ran out before you could hear another word from your stupid boyfriend.

Luffy’s POV

I watched as (Y/N) ran off, I tried to chase after her but Chopper blocked me. “Wait! I think she should be alone right now Luffy, she might say something she doesn’t mean because of how she’s feeling. So, just give her some space,” he explained. “But I have to tell her I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to play,” I explained. “I know, but we messed up. Really bad, and she needs time to herself right now,” Chopper said. I grabbed my head in frustration.

I looked over to the destroyed painting and realized it was a painting of all of us. “This is what she’s been working on for weeks,” I said softly. “Oh no, and we ruined it!” Chopper cried. “No, I ruined it. I always ruin things for her,” I said as I picked up the painting. “That’s not true, she loves you Luffy,” Chopper said. I shook my head, “She deals with me, I keep doing dumb things and it always ends with me hurting her or breaking her stuff,” I sighed as I placed the canvas on her table.

“It’s ok Luffy, if she didn’t love you she wouldn’t be with you. Right?” Chopper asked. “I guess,” I said. “I’m gonna go check on her,” Chopper said before running out of the room. I sat on her stool and stared at the mess I made. “Why do I keep messing things up? Maybe… I should leave her alone, then she wouldn’t have to deal with me. She could tell me to leave her alone if we weren’t dating, like Nami,” I said to myself.

I dragged myself to the deck and straight to my spot, to try and think. “Hey Luffy,” Nami said as she sat on her beach chair. “Hey…” I said softly as I continued to drag myself. “What’s wrong? Did (Y/N) kick you out of her art room?” She laughed. “No,” I moped. “Woah, then what’s wrong? Here come take a seat,” she said as she pointed to the other beach chair.

I told her the whole story and ended up with 4 bumps on my head. “You idiot! How could you do that to her?” Nami frowned. “I know… Nami… has she ever talked about how much I mess up around her?” I asked. “(Y/N)? No, not really. She just tells me how fun and cute you are,” she explained. “Really? Even that time I broke her clay pot?” I asked. “Oh man, she was so mad that day, but no… Now that I think about it she didn’t talk bad about you,” Nami said. “What about the time I accidentally squeezed her paint tube too hard and it got all over her face?” I asked. “Nope, nothing,” she said. “Or when I dropped-“ I was cut off.

“Ok I get it, you’ve done a lot of bad things. But she’s never talked bad about you, I think she knows that mistakes happen… especially around you,” Nami pointed out. “But I really messed up this time, what if she wants to break up. She should break up with me… I keep making her mad or sad,” I sighed as I fell back into the chair. “Or… you could make it up to her. Come on captain, you’ve fought warlords and admirals. I’m sure you can fix this problem and make your girlfriend a little less mad at you,” she said. “You’re right! I can try and fix it!” I said excitedly. “But I’m gonna need help,” I said, determined.

Your POV

You’ve been in bed for the last 6 hours. Chopper and Nami checked up on you, but you had no strength to get up. You just need some time to calm down. Suddenly a knock on your door, you didn’t respond, hoping the person on the other side would think you’re asleep. However, the door slowly opened. You saw your idiot captain peek inside, “(Y/N)?” He called out.

“Go away Luffy, I don’t feel good right now,” you said as you turned around, showing your back to him. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry, really sorry… I know you’re really mad at me, but I wanted to make it up to you,” he said as he stepped close. “How?” You asked. “Can I show you?” He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You slowly turned around, seeing a distressed look on your usually careless boyfriend. “Sure,” you said calmly before getting up.

“But I need you to wear this,” he said, handing you a blindfold. You stared at it with one eyebrow raised. “Please?” He asked. You nodded and quickly put it over your eyes, you then felt a warm hand grab yours. “Alright hold on,” you heard, before being picked up in bridal style. “L-Luffy?” You asked, feeling your face heat up. “Well, I don’t want you to trip while being blindfolded, so I’ll just carry you,” he explained.

You then laid in his arms as he carried you to wherever it was that he wanted to show you. “Alright, I’m gonna put you down now,” he said softly before helping you down onto your feet. “Alright now on 3, take off your blindfold,” he said as he stepped away from you. “Ok,” you said.

“1,2,3,” he said, and you quickly took off the blindfold. You gasped at the scene in front of you. It was your art room, clean and way more organized than it was before. Also, your easel was fixed with a bunch of more upgrades to it, and finally your eyes fell to the painting on the easel. “My painting!” You said excitedly. You smiled as you saw the rough strokes and the taped backing. It wasn’t perfect, but it was way better than how it looked earlier.

“Did you do all of this?” You turned to ask Luffy. “I had some help, but I wanted to fix what I messed up earlier,” he explained. You ran over and gave him a kiss, “Thank you Luffy! I’m so happy,” you smiled and hugged him. “You’re not still mad?” He asked nervously. “Mad?” You asked, confused. “Well… I always mess up your crafts or art projects, I know how upset it makes you,” he said as he stared at the floor. “Well I do get a bit upset, but I know you don’t mean it. I just give myself some time alone so I don’t say anything that I might regret later,” you explained. “Wow, Chopper was right,” he said.

“But I’m really sorry I messed up your painting, I know how hard you worked on it,” he said, before pulling you into a hug. “It’s ok, I forgive you. Just next time, no more games in my art room, ok?” You asked. “Deal,” he smiled. “Oh, I made you something,” he said, pulling away. “Huh?” You asked. He grabbed a small canvas from the table and turned to show you.

You pouted when you realized it was a portrait of you and him. “I know it’s not that good, but-“ you interrupted him. “It’s perfect! I’ll hang it up right now!” You said as you pulled him into a hug. “Really?” He said excitedly. “Yeah, and we should paint together sometime, you’re a natural,” you smiled, before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You think so? I did have fun doing this,” he grinned. “Mhmm!” You nodded and you both went to hang his masterpiece on your wall.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Hi can I please get “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?” With Luke Hughes like he comes home from a roadtrip and reader gets another dog

oh my gosh I swear this happened to one of my friends in real life except it was me who was like "no more pets." In a year her and boyfriend went from 0 animals to 4 dogs and 4 cats. I just get overstimulated going to their house. I hope this is what you wanted because as someone who loves both cats and dogs and really all animals I had to end it this way.

Drabble Materlist

"No more dogs. How hard is it to understand?"

When you met Luke you already had a dog who was like your first born child. He was the first pet you ever got on your own and you loved him with everything. To say this dog was spoiled would be the same thing as saying the sky is blue, it was fact and everyone knew it. But that didn't stop you nor Luke when he moved in with you.

Thankfully your dog loved Luke but you noticed more and more how sad your dog became when Luke was on roadies. He was probably just feeding off into your energy because you did miss Luke tremendously when he was away.

So you did the only logical thing you could think of you went to your local shelter with your two-year old husky and adopted another dog. It made sense because you actually found got your first dog when you were going through a hard time and he helped bring you happiness. So it only made sense to get another dog now.

Luke and you had both talked about possibly getting another dog so you didn't feel bad about not talking to him first. At the shelter was a beautiful 6 month year old Bernese Mountain Poodle mix, as soon as you saw him you knew he was coming home with you. That night Luke came home and you surprised him with the new addition to your little growing family.

"Luke i have a surprise for you." you exclaimed as he didn't look up at you yet still barely two steps in the door as your dog was already attacking him begging for Luke's undivided attention.

"oh yeah?" he asked the happiness he felt from finally being home, radiating in his voice. He finally looked up and saw you were holding your new puppy. Luke's mouth was left ajar as he starred at you in shock before his brain processed what was happening.

"Is he ours?" he asked as he slowly started to approach you, your dog still barking excited about what was happening.

"hmmm. I got him today, at the shelter." As you watched Luke slowly take the puppy out of your arms and into his own.

"What's his name?"

"I haven't named him, I wanted to do it together." you shyly admitted.

"What if we fuck with Quinn and name him Huggy?" he asks, somehow a wider smile on his face. "you know cause he's so cuddly and Quinn's had been chirping me a lot during off season?"

"whatever you want honey." As you both crawled on the floor to play with your new puppy.

"But no more dogs okay? We only have a two bedroom apartment and I don't even think were allowed to have a second pet with our lease." He says seriously, all you do is nod because you don't need any more animals.

Well, until it was a 3 months later and you had a really hard week at work and Luke was away again. You told yourself you were just gonna go to the shelter to play with some puppies and not get any. But then you found a little kitten that looked adorable and so scared. The little guy reminded you so much of the kitten you were growing up. Of course you had to the little guy, and technically you didn't go against Luke's request it wasn't a dog, he was a cat.

Deciding not to tell Luke and to let him find out in person again. He came home 3 days later and you were in the living room getting your dogs use to the cat slowly, making sure everyone was getting along. Although you have to admit you didn't think you would have to do exposure therapy for Luke as well until you heard him walk in."

"Y/N!" he yelled slightly, you whinced realizing you must of gotten the time mixed up of when he was going to be home because you wouldn't of introduced your cat this way.

"Hi Lukey." you say softly turning around to see a very annoyed and even disappointed Luke.

"No more. How hard is that to understand?" he asked his jaw slightly tensed.

"Well technically you said no more dogs, and this little guy is a cat." you reasoned and let at a sigh in relief as Luke realized the play on words.

"I hate your brain sometimes. You knew what I meant."

"But am I wrong?" you asked a slight smile on your face.

"No." he mumbled arms still crossed as you slowly made your way across the cat still in your arms looking up at Luke curiously. "Do i get to name him?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Jax." he said immediately.

You couldn't help but to laugh as you asked "why?"

"Because it isn't a nickname of Jack's like Huggy is for Quinn, but it's still so close to Jack. It will piss him off and I find that funny."

"So does this mean I get to keep him?" you asked hopefully.

"Yeah but this time I mean it no more animals Y/N"

"Damn it. you know I've always wanted a turtle." you joke as Luke gives you a look that says 'don't even try.' But you can't help the smile that forms on your lips because when you got your first dog at 18 you never thought this is where live would lead you.

[ivestas]

a good shot

Summary: König had a staring problem, so you confront him about it. 

Tags: sniper!fem!reader x konig, platonic!141 x reader, barely edited, awkward, unintentional confession(?)

Word count: 1.1k

Note: my mw2 obsession is real. been trying to deny it but its all that occupies my brain.... send some reqs?? i have such a bad habit of saying that then not following thru but i promise i will LMFAOOO (nah but fr tho im working on ur guys’ requests, just veryyyy slowly since, again, mw2 brainrot) also sorry if this seems rushed, i just wanted to get this idea out of my head hehe

König had a staring problem. 

You really didn’t know why, but whenever he was near, you could practically feel his gaze burn a hole through your skin. 

You weren’t one to care for stares—you were used to it, especially in your early years as a merc. Most would just be curious why a woman was wearing a bullet vest, especially civilians. 

But... König’s eyes were intense. Nothing like the curious—or even hateful—looks you were used to. 

You were sure you hadn’t done anything wrong; you barely spoke, never really caring too. You kept to yourself. You didn’t particularly stand out next to your flamboyant peers. 

So... why? 

You’d first asked Soap about it: he was a people person, always seemed to know someone’s intentions in an instant. 

However, he was confused. “He stares at you?” 

"You hadn’t noticed?” 

“No? I barely see the lad in general, always skulkin’ in some shadow.” 

“Seriously?” You frowned. “Then you think you’d know why?”

“Hmmm... here, maybe if I get my crystal ball and ponder for a bit I can find out!” 

"Shove the ball up your ass instead.” You snorted. Soap laughed, probably at his own joke than yours. 

Getting up, you headed to your next target: Ghost. 

You found him in the mess hall, taking apart his rifle on one of the cafeteria tables by himself. Without a second thought, you slid beside him. He didn’t acknowledge you.

Propping your head up with a hand, you look at him. Despite it being night, he’s still wearing his balaclava and shades. You decided it’s best not to make a comment about it since you’re trying to pry answers regarding the Austrian Colossus. 

“You’ve noticed König staring at me, right?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Do you think you’d know why? I’m sure I hadn’t done anything to piss him off, but he’s always just... you know...” you widen your eyes, leaning in. “Doing this. I don’t know whether to be unsettled or flattered.” 

Ghost carefully puts two pieces of his rifle together, a satisfying click resonating in the air. “Maybe he’s surprised why the 141 got a clown for a sniper.” He intoned. 

“Says the guy wearing a skeleton balaclava and tinted shades—scared the enemies are gonna find out you’re actually just a loser with nothing to his name?” You said the words too quickly, and when Ghost looked at you, he probably knew the thought was bubbling in your head. 

"...” 

“...” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that crawled out your throat, and you noticed that the corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkled. 

“...So you don’t know?” 

He snorted. “I’m no psychic.” 

Sighing, you rose from your seat, leaving Ghost once more in his own bubble. 

You really didn’t want to, but you realized you were gonna have to ask from the source itself—König.  

Now, you didn’t consider yourself a shy or anxious person, but there was something so imposing about König; maybe it was the fact he literally towers over you like some Goliath, or maybe it’s the fact he only speaks in raspy monosyllables, or, maybe, it was the fact that he just always stares at you, but you couldn’t deny the nervousness that writhed in the pit of your stomach. 

But curiosity shined over it, because just why would he just stare? 

So, you decided to head to the shooting field: it was an open secret that König often lurked there at night, shooting away at the targets from the day. No one really complained since he’d replace the targets with new ones at the end of every session.

The walk was short; just a quick turn through some halls and out through a door and you’re in the range. 

König was some meters away, hunched over a stack of crates and a sniper under his arm. His back was to you. 

You stepped on a stray stick just beside your foot. His head shot up. 

He turned around in an instant, sniper tight in his hand. 

They were right. He’s antsy. 

“Hey, König.” 

“...” 

You slowly approached as though he were a frightful deer... but perhaps a cautious bear would be a more accurate descriptor. He could kill you in seconds. 

Like anyone can. It doesn’t scare you. 

Admittedly, it’s a little exciting.

“Can I talk to you about something?” 

“...yes.” 

 “Your eyes—uh, you stare. A lot.” 

His gaze flickered away. 

“Just wondering why you just... stare. I’m pretty sure we’ve never spoken, either—”

“We’ve spoken,” he cut in. Rough and light, as usual. “Mostly on missions though.” 

“Oh... well, I’m just wondering if I pissed you off, somehow? Earned your ire? I’m dumb, I forget and I can be socially unaware—”

“No, no, no!” His eyes rounded, the sniper loosened in his hands. “No, you didn’t! I just, well...”

“...well?” You echoed, prompting him to continue. 

He did. 

“You’re nice to look at.”

Your brain froze. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

“I’m sorry, is that weird?—it is, isn’t it? I apologize, I—”

“No, wait, I’m really flattered, I just—” you laugh breathlessly. In disbelief. “That’s just really fucking flattering.” You can feel your face light up with heat, and all the neat composure you’ve built wash away completely. 

Now, you’re reduced to a blushing schoolgirl at a complete loss for words. 

What were you supposed to say? What does that even mean? Is that an admission of some crush, or were you just eye candy to him?—and did you like that, like his attention or are you just that deprived of contact? 

You force your eyes to his, and you realize he’s hunched over, rubbing at the metal butt of his sniper with a thumb, eyes everywhere except on yours. 

"So...” you rubbed your wrist. “What now?”

He finally looked at you. “Huh?”

You were this far already, you weren’t gonna back down yet. Even if your heart was slamming against your chest. “You just called me pretty? And I have a feeling you’re easy on the eyes too—maybe this is too quick—but wanna hang out then? Like, talk and stuff... because... I’m pretty?”

König stared for a moment before breaking into a laugh. “It would be an honor.” 

“Then let’s hang out right now! Stay here, I’m gonna grab my sniper and we’re gonna shoot shit till bullets’re covering the ground!!” 

König extended his sniper. “Use mine. I want to see how you shoot.” His eyes fluttered, gaze awkwardly averting yet again. You were beginning to find it endearing. “You’re a good shot. And I’d like to get better.” 

“And watching me will help you?”

“Yes,” he said the word with earnest, eyes bright. 

A crooked smile pulled at your lips. Fuck, you weren’t used to this. 

But you liked it. You liked it a lot. You just hoped you could eventually make him feel the same. 

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[omgeto]

could you do reader giving gojo head for the first time please?? LOVE YOUR WORK!!

gojo gets his first blowjob from his pretty little best friend so mdni

“are you sure about this?” you ask with a sly grin — gojo was nervous. you could tell by the way he toyed with the sheets, staring at everything but you. it was odd seeing your best friend, who was usually so confident, being unsure about something.

“yeah i want to do this, definitely.” he nods eagerly in response, “just don’t wanna mess this up,” he finishes with a mumble.

“c’mon toru, no need to be shy with me,” your grin widens as you watch his sudden shift from bravado to bashfulness. it was a side of him you rarely got to see — and you were gonna take full advantage of it. “i’ll take care of you.”

his dick hardens just at the sight of you, your face inching closer to his, your lips part as your hand snakes around his neck in a firm hold as your mouth envelopes him. he quickly eases into the kiss, his tongue pushing into yours greedily. his hands feverishly roam your body touching as you climb into his lap.

you eventually pull away from the kiss, but his mouth still chases yours, hungry for more. you give him a final peck before pushing him down on the bed. you play with the hem of his boxers and he looks up at you expectedly, a faint whisper leaving his mouth “please.” 

you free his dick from his hands, stroking at it slowly, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you watch his lips part at the cold contact of your fingers wrapping around the tip of his dick. swiping off the precum with your thumb, popping it in your mouth to taste him.

“fuck” he mutters, staring up at you. he couldn’t contain himself, you’d barely done anything and he was already feeling like he was going to cum everywhere. 

you lower your head, about to take in his dick in your warm mouth before he stops you, placing his hand on your shoulder. “you really don’t have to.”

“it’s fine toru,” you chuckle, amused by his chivalry, but you could tell by the way his breathing slowed, eagerly anticipating you to give him head.

“okay then, but only if you want to,” he bargains, “i don’t want it to be all about me.”

“it is all about you,” before he could respond, you shove his dick in your mouth contentedly humming at the whimper that comes out of his mouth. he couldn’t keep still, the feeling of your sloppy wet mouth repeatedly sucking on his piece, made him lose his mind. 

“ah s-shit,” he moans out, as your lips slobber over his dick, your hands twisting on the part your mouth couldn’t take. your hands fondle his balls, massaging them as your mouth continues to work on his dick. “fuck, t-this is so good. is it always this good?” you chuckle at his excitement, quickening your pace as you feel from the way his hips were slightly thrusting towards your face that he was about to cum. 

“i think i’m gonna—” he whines out, and just seeing your eyes match his, with you coyly looking up at him. his sentence cuts short as he releases into your mouth. your smile widens as you swallow all of him, pressing a kiss to his tip as your mouth comes off his dick.

“was that okay? i didn’t cum to quickly right?” he immediately starts to ramble as you sit up, “speaking of cum, was it too salty? i’ve read that some gu–” you interrupt him, putting your lips back onto his, making him taste himself off of you. “shit that was hot.”

“see, not that bad,” you jest, admiring the blissed out look on his face — you really rocked his words and you were just warming up.

you could feel his dick start to harden again underneath you, and you laugh as he says, “could we maybe try that again sometime?”

an: slay. lmk your thoughts, surprise surprise im writing for gojo again despite saying that I dont like him hmmm wild.

[rekino2114]

Hmm, how about Utahime, iori cause I love her, and she needs more content. Where Utahime first finds out that Reader actually has a massive crush on her cause she overhears Reader talking with Gojo and Geto, and the reader is gushing about how cute utahime is and how much he likes her

Utahime iori finding out you have a crush on her

"YOU'RE CRUSHING ON A GIRL!?"

"Shhhh, shut up, gojo! Do you want the whole campus to know?"

"I agree, or else the girl might hear you"

"Alright,Alright sorry, I didn't mean to be loud"

You sighed and took a sip from your soda can,only to spit it out after gojo asked you the next question

"Sooooo who is it?"

"Do you really think I'm telling you?"

"Why? We're best friends aren't we? We're supposed to be telling each other this kind of stuff"

"What guarantees me that you won't tell her the moment you know her name?"

"Come on, do you really think I'm like that?"

"............."

"Pffft you're no fun"

"If y/n doesn't want to tell you, it's his choice, and to be honest, I can't blame him"

"You two are so mean"

You took another sip and spit it again because of gojo

"It's shoko isn't it?"

"Now you're trying to guess!?"

"I mean, it's not a bad guess. You do hang out all the time"

"It's because we hang out all the time, together, we're just friends"

"If you're worried about me being mad or something I don't mind, I guess friends of friends are usually off limits, but I really don't care"

"What? What kind of rule is that? Also I don't have a crush on her"

"Hmmm. What other girls do you know?"

"Can you please stop trying to guess"

"No way, this is fun"

"I'll admit I am kind of curious too"

"You too suguru!?"

Geto and gojo continued to argue about what girl you could have a crush on until the cursed spirit manipulation user proposed someone

"What about utahime?"

"Hm? Who?"

"The sorcerer with the kimono who you always call weak"

"Ohhhhh yeah her, nah (I'd win) no way"

"Why?"

"A guy like y/n can do so much better than someone like her"

"H-Hey, don't say that. She's actually really nice if you get to know her"

"..............."

"..............."

"Shi-:

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON UTAHIME?"

"Shhhhh what did I say before?"

"No,no,no this is a yelling worthy matter"

"And if she hears you?"

"What are the chances that she's here right when we're talking about her"

"You're gonna jinx it if you say it"

"Whatever, why her?"

"W-well she's nice,cute, and-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, nice? Cute? Are we talking about the same person?"

"She's not nice to you because you always insult her, and beauty is subjective"

"Whatever you say, man, I don't really see it, but if you're happy, then I guess it's fine"

"I agree with satoru, while I think she's kind of annoying, you can be with whoever you want"

"W-well I'm not with her per se"

"Oh yeah, why don't you confess to her?"

"Cause I'm scared, what if she rejects me, or what if she hates you two so much that she rejects me because of my association with you?"

"Then I'd say she doesn't deserve you, that's a really dumb reason to reject a guy"

"Thanks but I still don't know how"

"Just say what you love about her and why you've been crushing try now"

"Uhm o-ok"

You cleared your throat and started imagining that utahime was in front of you

"I-i really like how she is as a person, and she's really pretty,not to mention she's actually adorable when she gets mad and-"

"W-what?"

You quickly turned to see utahime was actually standing behind you. You just wanted gojo to throw a red on you because the pain would be more bearable than the embarrassment

"Oh hey utahime, what a coincidence, y/n was just talking about you"

"I......i-i"

"Come on man, it's your chance"

"Is-is what you said about me true?"

You sighed and turned to look at her fully

"Y-yeah I've actually had a crush on you for a while"

"O-oh I had no idea"

"It's fine if you don't feel the same. I just-"

"I accept"

"U-uh?"

"I accept your confession, I-I actually like you too, shoko was pressing me to confess too actually"

"Oh really?"

"Y-yeah, it's funny, actually but anyway, would you......like to go somewhere?"

"Yeah definitely"

"Great"

You took her hand you started to walk away, but you turned to your friends and mouthed "thank you" to them as they waved at you

"You could see utahime with six eyes and just wanted y/n to confess right?"

"Yep. Man, who knew I could be such a good wingman, but I guess that's just another win for the strongest"

"*sighs* good job for once"

[brotherwtf]

I'm thinking about Paulina. How the casting director thought to get an actress who has similar features to Gale. I'm 100% Bucky was thinking about Gale the whole time they were having sex. Probably cried out his name when he came and Paulina just silently took it because she was also just looking for some solence and company for the night. She didn't judge him just understood him and tried to make him understand why he needs to fight the war. And then the next morning he finds a reason to, Buck got shot down just like Paulina's husband so now he understands her too

nah that whole like 20 minutes is such fucking crazy work because WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE

the cuts are just insane because they're like "who's gonna tell Egan" and then they cut to him in a bed ALONE, reaching out for someone who isn't there after he just slept with a girl who looked exactly like his best friend, asking for her to stay and she just says "I know you'll understand" when she talks about her husband who was a pilot, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'LL UNDERSTAND MY BROTHER IN CHRIST DOES HE HAVE A PILOT HES DESPERATELY MISSING RN???

but oh man anon I think you're a genius, he saw Paulina and couldn't help but compare her to a man he could never have, drank with her and danced with her and thought it was someone else in his arms instead, someone he wishes he could kiss and touch but he's so out of reach, both physically and metaphysically, and he's so down bad desperate that he has to fuck someone who looks like him just so he can get his kicks

but I definitely love the idea of him closing his eyes, gritting his teeth and imagining it's Gale beneath him, moaning quietly and holding onto his arms and back with strong arms, lips against his ear as he fucks into him, but it's not quite enough, Paulina is soft and beautiful curves while John knows Gale is sharp lines with a perfectly toned body, tries to imagine what it would be like to hold his waist and bite his neck, but even when Paulina urges John to open his eyes and look at her all he can see is Gale, both of their faces flitting in and out of focus like he's not sure who he's sleeping with

he catches glimpses of blond hair and blue eyes and soft pink lips and all he can think of is Gale, Gale, his best friend who he had fallen stupidly in love with, and he wonders if Paulina sees someone else too, because he certainly doesn't see her

and when he comes he cries on Gale's name, "fuck... Gale..." because that's all he can think about, wishes it was him below him instead of Paulina, and then he feels so instantly horrible because he probably ruined what was supposed to be a distraction for Paulina, but she only gives him a knowing smile, kisses his cheek and calls him a sweet man, tells him she misses someone too, we all have our vices in life and Johns left thinking about what he's going to tell Gale when he gets back to base, maybe he'll finally man up and tell him how he feels before one of them inevitably goes down, and he's worked up the courage to march right up to Gale and tell him before it's too late

but what John doesn't realize is that it's already too late, "He went down swinging" and John can feel his stomach violently turn, his throat close and his eyes water because it's too late... it was too late and he'll never see Gale again, he only has the faint fantasy of taking Gale to bed with him when it was really some dame, and now he's gone and John will never be able to tell Gale how he really feels, oh man oh dear

yeah but I wanna sit the fucking casting directors down because what the fuck they said "hmmm, let's make the girl Major Egan sleeps with a carbon copy of his boy best friend that he can't seem to get off of his mind" shaking my fist in the air mota writers one day you will pay of all of my anguish

[yuri-is-online]

There's Mud in Your Eye (Leona and Deuce x Yuu)

"Oh can I help you? You seem to be lost." You attempt to cheerfully ask the vaguely familiar looking person in front of you. As if he is deliberately trying to rub salt in your wounds, Crowley ignored your request to leave campus for NRC parents day and is instead making you and Grim run errands. The person in front of you, blissfully ignorant to your inner turmoil perks up at your attention.

"Forgive me for asking, but are you the magicless prefect?" You and Grim exchange a confused glance. "You've got to be right?" They're practically glowing with how happy they are to see you. " Oh I'm sorry, I've just heard so much about you!" Wait, what?

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, i am out of creative ways to describe these: it's Cheka and Mamma Spade. Slight references to the White Rabbit event. If you liked this please check out the previous parts on my master list here.

Leona

A very confused, very important looking little lion is standing in front of you, attempting to mimic Leona's judgey thinking face. Five year olds lack the smarmy bitterness required to truly pull off the look, but you have to admit, it is pretty cute.

"Um, do you think he ran away from his guards again?" Grim whispers, painfully loud and without nearly enough concern. "Do you think we'll get in trouble if we can't get him back to his retainers?" The scenario feels completely unreal, but then again so does standing in front of royalty. Who are you again anyway? Just some weirdo who is going to have to apologize to their loved ones for taking so long to come home because you couldn't sneeze in another world without bumping into royalty. While you are busy considering whether or not it would be considered child neglect to sprint away from the little guy, Cheka finally finishes his thought process, letting out a contented "hmmm" as he points decisively at you.

"You," he says with all the authority of an extra on a children's tv show "are not Unca."

Well.

That was not what you were expecting. Your mind draws a lengthy blank as Cheka grins up at you in a surprisingly catlike manner seemingly very pleased with himself.

"How did it take ya so long to figure that out?" It has to be a truly stupid question to get Grim's voice to crack.

"Well I decided I was gonna sneak up on Unca." A terrible idea really but who are you to refute royalty. "So instead of running around and askin I decided to just focus on his scent! But I found two places he could be so I just decided to go to the closer one."

"Whatdya mean?" Grim takes a deep breath and interrupts his train of thought with a hard gag you really hope is dramatic. "Oh wow he ain't wrong, you really smell like that lazy bi-" You manage to muzzle him before he can teach Checka too many bad words. You wonder if it would be rude to sniff yourself in front of a literal prince, Cheka's pleased little tail swish doesn't help.

"Can you please take me to Unca?" he asks, so very sweetly looking up at you like you're the shiniest star in the night sky. It hurts to disappoint him.

"Uh I'd love to little guy but I'm not too sure where he is..." you really hope Cheka can't tell just how nervous you are. Crowley did give you a schedule, but it wasn't super detailed, just a vague set of notes about the various events going on.

"Then I'll just stay here with you!" He says, with a surprising degree of authority. "Unca's scent is really strong so I'm sure he'll show up soon!"

''I don't think that's a good idea little guy." You just called the Crown Prince of the Sunset Savannah a little guy. Which he is but you are pretty sure there's a time period where that would have gotten you executed, and you can only pray it's not now. The intense look of what you assume are Cheka's guards running up the main street is not helping with that.

"Your highness! Please don't run off like that." The man seems wary of scolding the prince, but he has no qualms about staring you down. "You! What is your name and who do you think you are to be speaking so casually to-" He cuts himself off, bluster fading as he takes a deep breath and starts staggering away from you. Well not you per se, you realize as you turn around and see an extremely intense looking Leona behind you.

"Stop blamin' your inability to do your job on other people." Leona's voice is slow, authoritative enough that you almost forget he's supposed to be the second prince. The guards do too, until Cheka jumps away from them onto Leona's shoulders and shatters the illusion just a bit.

"Unca! Unca! You're gonna show me the spelldive fields right?" Cheka nuzzles his Uncle's cheek while Leona tries his best to get away.

"I thought you were gonna stay with Prefect." He grumbles.

"We can come with." You say before you fully realize what you're saying surprised at how ok you are with the offer. Cheka lights up, jumping away from his Uncle to nuzzle up to you. Leona's gaze softens ever so slightly, even if he immediately breaks eye contact and starts walking away from you.

"You're welcome to come if you can keep up." You try to convince yourself you follow him just to get away from the guards, but there's a spring in both your steps no one is brave enough to act like they notice.

Deuce

"Yuu! And Grim too! Lucky me I thought I was going to be stuck looking for my kids for at least another hour." Dilla Spade cheerfully says, her decision to refer to you as her child momentarily distracting you from the fact Deuce is nowhere to be seen. She seems to have been granted a day off from work, her usual delivery uniform ditched in favor of a very mom like set of old sweatpants and an old athletic jacket with a logo you assumed belonged to Deuce's middle school.

"Mama Spade!" Strange feelings aside you are extremely happy to see Dilla, and happier still when she perks up just a bit at your calling her mom. "Did Deuce forget to text you again?"

"Not exactly," she says with an affectionate sigh "I caught up with him a bit earlier but he ran off to find his Housewarden. He really wanted to introduce us but said it might be a bit difficult to make that happen."

"Yeah..." Grim says as you exchange a look "Riddle's a really busy guy."

"Well never mind then." She says with a shrug. "What's up with you? Deucey tells me all sorts of things, but it's never the full truth." You shouldn't be surprised Dilla knows something is up. Honestly it's a wonder any of the students with a half way decent relationship with their parents hasn't been yanked out of this school already.

"Nothing too bad I hope?" You say, hopeful that Dilla will give you something to work with so you don't confess to something too wild. She laughs.

"I'm a mom, worrying's part of the territory." You breathe a sigh of relief, though you can't help but wonder just what Dilla's reaction would be to knowing Deuce had fought four overblot phantoms. Would she be proud? You hope so, he deserves it. "I keep telling Deuce to invite you to spend summer with us but he's really hung up on doing things the 'honorable way.'" You try your best not to fluster.

"What's that even mean?" Whines Grim, probably thinking more about the donuts you had while visiting Clock Town more than the implications kicking around in your mind. "offerin' to help me and my hench human out is honorable enough!"

"It really is," you try not to come off as too eager, it would be really nice to spend the Summer somewhere that wasn't Ramshackle, even if it would hurt the ghost's feelin-

"Is Deuce waitin' till he can afford a ring or somethin'?" Grim says, crossing his little paws and sticking your words in your throat. Dilla winking at the little monster with a conspiratorial grin makes you choke. "He is isn't he! Hmph, figures. Well he knows he won't get the Great Grim's permission!"

"Grim!" You squeak.

"Well you are a bit young," Dilla says "but you have my blessing prefect."

"I- I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding-" you don't want to get anyone's hopes up, you aren't even dating Deuce, you want to say that you don't like him that way, but the lie dies on your lips as a familiar duo comes into view just behind Dilla.

"MOM! oh and PREFECT!!!" The overwhelming joy in Deuce's eyes contrasting with the smug amusement of Ace makes you feel just a bit more at home, despite the awkwardness of the situation. You can almost convince yourself that he's running up the road on the double just to see you.

"Think of it this way," whispers Dilla, firmly placing a hand on your shoulder in a comforting and not forceful way "you're family, and you always will be no matter what label gets slapped on things. Though I am pretty sure you can guess Deuce's preference."

You can, or at least you can hope.

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 18

ISAT/Two Hats Spoilers as always! CW: Homoerotic fight scene What? Who said that?

"Hmmmm…" [You ponder deeply, looking over the collection of daggers on display at the town's blacksmith.]

"What's up? None speaking to you?" [Nille chimes in, noticing the look on your face. Does having a mouth again really make us that easy to read?]

"No, they aren't… I'm not sure a dagger feels right anymore."

"Oh? Well what else would you get? I can't exactly see your scrawny butt using a big hammer." [She teased with a smirk. You rolled your eyes some.]

"Riiight, and who destroyed that sadness standing over you when we first met~?"

"I had that under control! I was just making it think it had me!" [You both laugh, even she couldn't pretend that was true.]

"But to answer your question, I'm not quite sure, something agile still but…"

"How about a rapier?"

"NO! No no no! The Housemaiden uses one of those."

"… And?"

"… Just… I'd rather not… Have that constant reminder." [She rolls her eyes but drops it. It seemed the only thing preventing another talk was the fact you were in public.]

"Okay, uhhh... Oh! What about one of those?" [She asked, spotting a rack with several whips hanging off of them.]

"Oh… Oh yes, that actually sounds nice~." [You say as you walk over to it, glancing about at them all hanging, finding a lovely looking one with lightless and darkless diamond patterning across its whole length.]

"I think this will do perfectly~."

---------------------------------------------------

[The sound of 3 booming CRACKs sound out in a row as you try to snap your new whip across the practice targets setup. You manage to split the first in half, but your swings go wide on the follow ups, missing the other two.]

"Hey! Not bad! You're a natural at this!"

"Not bad?! I only hit one blinding target!"

"... Vale, have you ever used a whip before?"

"Not that I can recall, no."

"Uh huh, and you just expected to be great at it first thing?"

"I mean, I used paper craft pretty well first thing~."

"Well yeah, that was instincts. If you're a paper type now, that's gonna come a lot more naturally. Stress of combat and all, you don't think you just act."

"Hmmm... You make a good point... Maybe there's some more sadness nearby we could try and track down?"

"You wanna go hunting sadness' now?!"

"Well how else am I going to get better at this?" [Nille smacks her own face gently in a facepalm before sighing out.]

"Alright, alright, if you're set on this..." [She begins, placing a hand on your shoulder.]

"Now think fast!" [She shouts before using her other arm to scoop under your leg, suddenly lifting you over her head and tossing you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.]

"WH-HEY?!" [You cry out, tumbling across the grass and sliding to a stop. You look up at Nille, her hammer now out, playful grin on her face.]

"If you're so set on a fight, I'll give you one pretty Vay~!"

"N-Nille?! Y-You can't just toss me like that!!"

"Actually I can, pretty easily in fact!" [She beams with a bright laugh, your face burns in a fluster as you grumble, readying your new whip, holding your other hand in a paper sign.]

"F-Fine! But you asked for it!"

"Don't hold back for me now Vale, I won't for you!" [She remarked with a wink, then suddenly rushing towards you.]

[You step back in surprise, not expecting her to actually approach with such intent. She raises her hammer, preparing to swing. You finally snap out of it and bring your hand forward, summoning a shield like before. Nille's hammer swings right through it, dampening the blow but still sending it slamming into your side, knocking you over and tumbling a bit again.]

"Ack! H-Hey!!"

"Oh come on, you're paper type now, you barely felt that!"

"Y-Yes but STILL!!" [You shout, more so protesting about getting tossed around than anything else. She pays no mind to your pleas as she begins to rush at you again. You wonder how she's so blinding fast with that massive hammer.]

"Gonna have to go on the offensive soon~!" [She taunts at you. Alright, we can figure this out, there's got to be some way we can slow her down somehow... Wait, didn't Odile have a craft like that? Yes! We've seen it countless times! You take a breath for a moment, trying to replicate the ritual she performed when using it, sending a lethargic wave towards Nille to help weigh her down some.]

"Oooh, got some other tricks up your sleeve?" [She calls in surprise, though it doesn't seem to affect her as much as Odile's ability did. It would have to do for now, taking a defensive stance and flourishing your new whip. She swings high as you duck below, swapping her momentum to slam down before you barely manage to jump back out of the way.]

"C'mon! Go on the offensive Valey!" [She encourages, you snap your whip forward, coiling it around the neck of her hammer. With a heavy tug and pulling paper gesture, you manage to yank it free from her grip, tossing it upwards and spinning off behind you as you watch it fly overhead.]

"Hah! What are you gonna do no-ACK!!" [You begin to tease, turning back to Nille who was suddenly moments away, tackling into you and sending you both sliding across the ground, skidding to a stop. You stare up at her in stunned silence. She chuckles some, seeing your face.]

"HAHA! Here's a tip, Vay. Never let your guard down." [She teased... then perked up some, noticing your face with her own darkening, quickly getting up off of you... Our face feels hot. Are we blushing?...]

"Heh, uhh... Sorry about that, got a little carried away there." [She mumbled some, holding out a hand to help you up, taking it and easily getting lifted off the ground.]

"But good hustle! Seems like you got a few new moves to work with!" [Her face is still dark, she's trying to change the subject, you recognize this tactic... Why is our face burning?! You try to shake the sensation away.]

"R-Right~! Guess we won't have to worry much next time a sadness comes around~!" [You remark, desperately trying to slip the mask back on. You both stand in awkward silence for a moment.]

"... W-We should probably get back to the Inn."

"O-Oh yes! I'll uhh... meet you there, I wanted to stop by the local tailor first~."

"Oooof course you do."

Get ready for some new official outfit designs next Vale chapter~

[notprometheus]

How Penelope and Odysseus got together in the Penelope!Warrior au.

Aphrodite: Athena.

Athena: Aphrodite.

Aphrodite: off to see Odysseus again?

Athena: yes. Where on the mortal plane are you going today?

Aphrodite: Well according to Ares, Penelope might have a crush on Odysseus, and I wanted to see what I could do to help her out.

Athena: If your plan is anything similar to matchmaking them together, I forbid it!

Aphrodite: You forbid it? You can’t forbid love! Love is what drives mortals to become their best versions! Love is what starts and ends wars! Besides what’s the worst that could happen?

Athena: sigh look I know I’m going to regret telling you this, but Odysseus reciprocates Penelope’s feelings.

Aphrodite: GREAT! Now all I have to do is get them to tell each other!

Athena: WHICH YOU WONT! If they have any form of romantic communication, then Odysseus will be twice- no, thrice as distracted by Penelope than he already is!

Aphrodite: come on, it can’t be that bad!

Athena: he stares at her the same way Ares used to Stare at you before you two gags and coughs had “relations”.

Aphrodite: ohhhh he is down baaaad! Look he’ll be 10 times as motivated if he knows that there’s a chance for something between them! This has to happen!

Athena: you know what? Why don’t we get someone who will think about what’s best for Penelope, and hear their thoughts on this!

Aphrodite: her family?

Athena: …

Aphrodite and Athena at the same time: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Athena: anyways, I was thinking Ares.

Aphrodite: sure, I think Ares would be perfect for this.

Athena: then let’s go now!

Aphrodite: hold on, let me adjust my dress.

Athena: why?

Aphrodite: to show more cleavage.

Athena: GROSS!

Aphrodite: thanks for the compliment.

Athena: not what I meant. But whatever let’s just go!

Aphrodite: ok, I’m done adjusting anyway.

Meanwhile on the Island of Themiscyra.

Ares: COME ON! PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT! MY DAUGHTERS WILL NOT BE PUSHOVERS!

Athena: Ares? Can we borrow you for a moment?

Ares: sure. Hey Hippolyta? Can you take over for me? Just verbally abuse them, that’s all I’ve been doing for the past 6 hours.

Hippolyta: sure thing, father! ARE YOU LITTLE BOYS OR WOMEN? CAUSE ALL I SEE ARE SOME CHILDREN WHO WANT HOT WHEELS!

Ares: what’s wrong?

Athena: nothings wrong.

Ares: then why are you wasting my time?

Aphrodite: Ares we need you to help end this argument! Should Penelope and Odysseus-

Ares: who?

Athena: my warrior of the mind.

Ares: right the loser.

Aphrodite: anyways, should they be allowed to tell each other about their love for each other? Or should they spend the rest of their lives sad and miserable?

Athena: over playing it a bit much! But we need you to decide cause you will choose whatever is best for Penelope.

Ares: I don’t really care. You two have any arguments for your side?

Athena: insert a really good argument for why Penelope and Odysseus shouldn’t tell each other about their love for each other, cause I’m too lazy to think of one.

Aphrodite: Ow! My back hurts. Better stretch it. She stretches suggestively.

Ares: hmmm well you both have made damning arguments, but Athena, unfortunately I’m gonna have to go with Aphrodite on this one.

Aphrodite: YES! And that’s another perk of sleeping with a god of war!

Athena: just go do whatever it is you’re going to do!

Aphrodite: Byeeee!

Athena: I feel like you were biased in that.

Ares: YEAH NO SHIT!

[save-the-villainous-cat]

knife torture in a creepy basement perhabs? maybe a shady mercenary has captured a hero on a supervillain's behalf but wants to have some fun with the hero before they give them up

“I’ve been told that you’re not very easy to capture,” the mercenary said. Their collection of knives was impressive and the hero was, simply put, getting ready for the torture.

They had survived a lot of similiar sessions. Guns, knives, water, fire — by now, the hero could slip into a state of simply enduring it all. No panic, no screaming. Their entire energy was spent on survival and usually, they got away with it just fine.

“Not because of you, but your little guard dog...” The mercenary looked at them intensely and suddenly the hero realised this was about to get more complicated. “Kinda dangerous. Making it that obvious.”

The hero smiled dryly, feeling dread fill their stomach.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, please. Do you think I’m that dumb?” The mercenary pressed a knife against their thigh and slowly, the sharp end dug into the hero’s skin, splitting layers of skin until it reached muscle. Until it reached bone.

The tears came quickly and the hero’s pathetic moans filled the basement. Their hands were bound behind their back, so they tried not to move at all. The wound would only get bigger.

“Christ,” they hissed, almost shouted. “Fuck—”

There was so much blood. The hero had forgotten how much they could bleed.

“Frankly, I don’t care about your little romance, the only feeling I have for it is somewhere between disgust and annoyance. I mean, who the fuck even cares?” They pressed the knife deeper into the hero’s thigh and scraped their femur terribly. The hero swallowed a scream, tried to maintain their composure but their tears wouldn’t stop and neither did the wheezing.

“What do you want?” the hero asked. For the first time, they were terrified. The mercenary knew about the villain. What if they had caught them? What if the villain was enduring this too right now? The hero couldn’t stomach that.

“Oh, you know…just wanna have some fun. I’m actually retired. Don’t get to do a lot of field work.” They pulled out the knife and the hero gasped in pain, praying that the villain was alright. Maybe the mercenary was simply toying with them? Surely, the villain was clever enough to get away from them. “Ah, shit. I guess you need that so you don’t bleed out? Hmmm. My bad.”

They jammed the knife back into the hero’s thigh, slightly above the first wound.

“Ouch, sorry. Not really good at aiming.” The mercenary shrugged. “Happens. Anyway. Your little lover? Do you think they’ll save you from all this drama?”

“God, please stop.” The hero struggled in their restraints, desperate to escape. They didn’t know what was worse: the knife? Or the psychological toying?

“Do you think anyone is gonna find you? I can tell you already, it’s not that easy. I’m no amateur.”

“You’ll kill me,” the hero whispered. “I’m gonna die here, I’m gonna bleed out, oh God…”

“You’re not the brightest, are you?” the mercenary asked. Again, they pulled out the knife and the hero’s thigh felt scorchingly hot. They didn’t want to know what kind of scars would be left on their thigh after this, how they’d explain it to the villain. “I need you alive. Blood loss is just helping me a little. Makes you dizzy, makes you sleepy. Makes you weak, just like the supervillain wants you.”

“You’ve made a pact with the devil,” the hero said. They leaned their head against the wall, tears still streaming down their face. The villain…they would save them, wouldn’t they?

“Very poetic.” They traced lines down the hero’s thigh, the knife digging into their skin every now and then. “But I don’t care that much about the money. I’m just curious if your lover will show up? People tend to think our lives should revolve around love. So, how much does your dear villain actually love you? Will they show up? Will they save you?”

They laughed and it almost sounded gentle.

“Let’s break all that trust you have in them, hm? At the end of the day, man eats himself. You’re terribly and very sadly, on your own. Just like the rest of us.” They whispered the last words. For the third time, they pressed their knife back into the hero.

The hours passed. And the villain never showed up.

[chaotic-mystery]

If you're down to write this, could i request a joel x reader smut with them in the full nelson position? 👀 i dont think ive ever seen it written for him! ♡

Before You Go | J.M.

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel has to leave for patrol duty soon but you need his attention first.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ only mdni! PWMP, Asscrack of dawn sex, pet names, a smidge of daddy kink in there, unprotected p in v, nipple play, cream pie, dirty talk. Let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count:1.2K

Early mornings before Joel had to leave for patrol duty always turned into him grabbing you in his arms and telling you, "Jus' five more minutes baby I swear." You'd giggle still half asleep with your back flush against his chest and hum softly to yourself while he lightly fell back asleep for those few short moments.

It didn't start off any different this morning, your back pressed against him tightly like every morning. Only this time he noticed you were wearing a tank top that was stuck to you like a second skin. Joel's big hand snakes around and grabs your hip, hiking the material up to expose your skin.

"Hmmm, what's this you got on baby doll?" He mumbles against the crook of your neck as he bites the soft flesh gently before pressing a kiss on the bite mark.

“Yeah honey? You want me to give you some extra attention this mornin’? Look ‘atcha, needy little thing.” Nodding your approval, you whimper as you push against his front with your ass, the whimpers mixing deliciously with his barely audible grunts. Your eyes haven’t even opened yet and his hand was dipping into your panties, the sweet sticky folds slipping between his fingers.

“Oohhhhh fuck baby girl, were you just gonna keep all this to yourself?” His other hand that was tucked under your head wraps around your throat, his mouth pressing sloppy kisses against your cheek.

“Mm-mm, of course not Joel.” A giggle of overwhelming pleasure comes from your lips as his fingers bounce back and forth between rubbing your needy clit and your aching hole just begging to be stuffed full of his cock.

Joel’s hand releases your throat and trails down your chest, yanking your tank top down below your breasts. A grunt vibrates against your ear before Joel mutters, “these perfect fuckin’ tits. God damn you’re absolutely killin’ me princess. Half of me wants to take my time with ya, love on ya the way ya deserve it. But the other half of me…” He presses a sloppy kiss to your neck again as he pinches your nipples between this thumb and index finger.

“The other half of me wants to jus’ have my way with ya, really show ya how crazy ya make me.” Joel’s last few words were muffled by his kisses on your neck again, your mouth open and soft moans coming out of it. Every time he wanted to ravage you like a fucking animal just did something to you. It was sexy the way he couldn’t get enough of you no matter how many rounds you go.

“Oh fuck- please J-Joel please fuck me. I need you so bad ple-ease- mmmm”

The overstimulating feeling from his hands pinching your nipples and playing with your soaking wet pussy in your panties had you so turned on you’d agree to anything, you needed him.

Joel’s hand exits from your panties, the cold damp fabric falling against your pussy and sending a chill up your spine. “Take these off sweet girl. Now.” The waistband snaps against your skin as he hooks his finger around it enough for it to raise a tad before he lets go quickly.

He watches you closely as you push down your panties and kick them to the floor, your tank top not far behind. Joel moans and wipes his face as he scans over your gorgeous body.

“God damn baby girl. C’mere, I gotta have you right now.” He growls at you as he takes off his boxers, cock springing up and dripping pre-cum. His fist closes around the tip and tugs gently while he looks at you, imagining everything he’s about to do to you.

You get right back where you were and he grumbles, “No no no, get up here baby.” And tugs you up on him, his knees bent up and your back on his chest. He reaches under your thigh as your legs are on either side of his to hold yourself up and smacks his cock against your clit roughly, eliciting moans from you.

Without warning he shoves the swollen head inside your entrance and grabs your hips to push you down on his cock. “So fuckin’ tight around me, my god darlin’.”

Joel hooks his arms under your thighs right in the crook of your knees and pulls up, your feet dangling in the air as he starts pumping inside you. The wet squelching from your pussy fills the room and bounces off the walls, gaining moans from the pair of you.

“Fuc-k fuck Joel oh my god, fuck me just like that.” You moan out, and breathe deeply as you can feel him hitting you deep inside.

His hands hold the sides of your face with your legs still pressing against your chest. “Yeah baby you like when daddy’s got you so wrapped up you can’t go no where? Such a nasty girl.” He teases and pounds into you harder his balls start smacking against your pussy. Joel slows the speed but keeps ramming into you, grunting with every smack against you.

“Yeah baby, take this fuckin’ cock in that tight little pussy. Stay right there, right fuckin’ there” His teeth grit together and he moans louder when he hears how much you’re whimpering.

Your eyes squeeze shut once more at the pleasure coursing through your body and your arousal dripping down his cock and balls.

“Faster Daddy please, I wanna cum so badly for you.” Your toes curl and stomach starts to cave from your deep breaths. His thrusts pick up speed again and his balls clap against you once more, sticking slightly to your pussy as everything is coated in your slick.

“Yeah cmon darlin’. Be a good girl for daddy and cum all over my cock. Squeeze around me so I can cum inside you baby. Cmon baby..fuckkkk.”

Right about now you’d be squirming against him trying to run away from it feeling so good but he’s got you twisted you can’t go anywhere. All you can do is moan louder and louder at your impending orgasm building in your tummy.

“Joel- fuck- I’m gonna cum I’m- im gonna cum yes daddy yes- I’m cummi-“ your words are cut short by the squeals and cries as your orgasm floods your body. Joel groans at the sight of seeing how good your orgasm feel and he’s not too far behind you while he pumps deeper and deeper into you, panting he’s gonna fill you full.

He unhooks your legs and drops them down beside his as he unloads his cum in your pussy. Grunting with each pump, Joel holds your hips to keep you still.

He stays inside you as he grows soft, cock still twitching every so often. You both are panting, trying to catch your breath as you lay your top half on the bed and your bottom half still on Joel.

The small beads of sweat sit delicately on his forehead and the morning sun starts to pour inside the room from beyond the trees.

“Fuckin’ hell baby. You’re trynna kill me by expecting me to go to work now.” He chuckles and kisses your shoulder softly. You giggle and get off of him, rolling over on your tummy. “Just make sure you’re ready for round two later.”

[feyd-meowtha]

@middlingmay's Fic Rec Questions

I saw this list and thought it would be fun to give it a go!!

1) Fic that's made you laugh the most

He May Be The Reason by @c-goldthorn. It's a Clegan Notting Hill au and it makes me squeal with delight. So cute that I got distracted while reading it and missed my stop on the train.

2) A fic that made you cry

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by pillar of our community @swifty-fox. I'm sure most ppl have probably read this one but it's such an amazing post-show continuation that really doesn't pull it's punches when it comes to both PTSD and the realities of being gay in the 40s

3) Fave comfort, silly fic

It's a little rogue but I'm gonna say Awake, Alive by the wonderful @whirlpool-blogs. It's a pet sematary au so not exactly what you would call traditionally comforting but the ending makes me so happy and the whole thing is just a joy. The fact that this came to mind when I thought 'comfort fic' is probably pretty telling about me as a person....

4) The fic that made you try a genre or trope that you don't usually read

This is also a bit rogue but it was tricky since I'll read anything, so I'll go with Strings of the Strings of Life by the lovely @weimarweekly, not because of any of the content but because I don't, as a general rule, read Dune fic that was written after Dune 2 released. I've bored everyone to tears with my complaints about that version of Feyd but it is what it is so I tend not to like any fics written about that version of the character BUT the prospect of a feydpaul Berlin techno au was too delicious to resist and the whole fic is so fun. It makes me miss Germany sooo bad.

5) An author who has inspired your own fic writing

This one has got to go to the anonymous author of both Close And Yet Closer and The Replacement. Both of these fics are god tier and their character psychology and willingness to allow their versions of the characters and relationships to be ugly and messy are so inspiring to me. They were also the first person in the John/Hausman tag on ao3 which is currently just me and them. I think about the replacement all the time and it was a HUGE influence on 3am Eternal. If I can ever write half as well as them I will die happy.

6) What are your fave underdog authors? Those that you feel are underappreciated and deserve a bit more love

Hmmm, this is kinda hard cus the MOTA fandom is pretty small so I feel like a lot of stuff gets decent buzz. Imma shout out @whirlpool-blogs again and especially their fucked up clegans fics, I have read and reread all of their works and they're always so so good. I will also add @steeseman for Up In Our Bedroom. It's another great post-canon fic and while it has a lot of hits, I don't think I've seen anyone talking about it on here.

7) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did more of when it comes to fanfiction.

The obvious one is comment, it really does make my day when I get a nice comment, even just a couple words or an emoji mean a lot. The other thing I would say is writing curt/Kenny fic, there's not much out there and I want more please. Also more fics where characters relationships are like genuinely kind of fucked up and toxic. I love that shit.

8) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did less of when it comes to fanfiction.

Oh man, I really do not know. The only thing I can think of is that I hate the word 'yap' or 'yapping' so if I see it in a fic I shudder. Hmmmm, I guess I also wish that there was a little more consideration when writing Gale's dad as an alcoholic because it's often treated as the basis for him being a shitty person. Addicts aren't automatically bad people and I sometimes feel like it's portrayed that way. @blixabargelds wrote an excellent post on this

9) I'm adding an extra one and that is current WIPs I am reading

Sympathy For The Devil by @blixabargelds, it's a modern ghost hunting AU and the set up is AMAZING. I will also throw Superstar in here even though it's not releasing main story chapters yet, everything Frankie writes is so tailored to my personal tastes it's crazy and I am so excited to read @mildharm's John POV chapters too. Literally foaming at the mouth thinking about it rn. When it starts being released fully, I fear it may kill me.

Love Song From A Dog and The Heart Is A Muscle by @swifty-fox. I've only just started THIAM but I'm so hyped for their take on the tattoo shop/flower shop au.

Hit Me Where The Heart Is by @london-cowboy makes me legitimately insane. I jump for joy whenever there is a new update, these versions of the characters and their stories are, as Paris Hilton would say, beyond. I do not have the words to say how much I am loving this fic. The characters and setting feel so real and it's just so creative. AMAZING.

I need to get around to starting let us not desert one another; we are an injured body and also the time skip fic whose name escapes me by @irregularcollapse and also catching up with @weimarweekly's rodeo fic, Looking For Eight

Writing this was very fun and I encourage anyone reading to give it a go if they fancy it!!

[salamispots]

watched alien romulus, liked it, spoilers below :0

I...liked it? like there were some really nice things about it, like the opening scenes of the movie/maybe first half? and then idk the parts where they start interacting with the xenomorphs themselves didn't really feel that tense

-I DID really like the demon baby scene/buildup a lot

-like going down the ladder to find this normal sized baby and watching the foot/hand prints get larger and larger and the first reveal they show you is this weird thing crouching in the shadows and when it steps out it's like o H D:

-andy going up to the sister and when he turns around it's like all the sound cuts out and it took my brain a couple seconds to figure out what I was looking at but oufughdhgfjhg creepy very very good

-ALSO A+ for andy's dad jokes :'D and acting

-the characters are all young looking (not necessarily bad?) but they weren't as compelling compared to others in other movies

-sound design at the beginning when you're settling in is really nice, esp. when they're taking off to space; set design too is gorgeous

-the scene where they first enter the ship and somebody throws a flare/the camera tilts is neat haha

-the little slip in of david's theme/music when the other android's talking about the black goo goOD

-hmmm thinking about it or maybe just me imagining the gore/body horror scenes (for the most part) felt kinda held back? (not talking about the uh wall vagina egg or the xenomorph aspects haha)

-like the scene where the wall egg is dripping blood on the guy

-I think what makes me fond of prometheus and covenant is the fact that they run around on these weird/dead planets and the whole thing with the engineers

-noticed similarities/mashups from the other movies in this one which isn't necessarily bad but it did break immersion a little or made me like 'oh! third act pregnancy like prometheus or a cargo hold battle sort of like covenant, or alien resurrection where the alien gets sucked out into space through that tiny hole

-idk how I feel about the offspring design, will need to watch/see it again; it's a little goofy hahah (again not a bad thing) but I do like that they have the engineer/marble statue alien face and how the hips were a bit off/twisted

-the part where it was grinning was creepy; also when it was hovering over the sister with the mouth retracting I thought they were gonna do a very strange/fucked up version of breastfeeding but it doesn't look like they did? or at least couldn't tell

-edit: oH according to reddit it did happen dfghjf plus they mentioned when she draws her hand of her shirt with weird goo on it

-also slappy slimy facehugger proboscis >:'D

-some of the action scenes reminded me a little of the alien movie that had the underwater alien fight scenes haha

-will need to rewatch in general (movie theatre audio/words getting eaten up in the sound + no subtitles) it's good but I think covenant and prometheus still win out for me

edit: this also makes me wanna go back and watch the movies in chronological or timeline order haha

edit: oH I figured out how to word it haha but it felt more on the action side genre than horror (like prometheus and covenant were def. horror; and the whole demon alien baby towards the end for sure)

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(