#'future top 5' is tame to what i really think but i might be jumping the gun w/ that kinda talk rn lmao

[rhynehoward]

diamond miller?

[cuinnamonbun]

I really love ur headcanon about Hijabi Mc with the brothers! I really love it cuz there is no one writing about us in any fandom =(

I was thinking would u do the (un)datebale characters with Hijabi Mc if u can ? =3

If u don’t want then u can ignore the ask 🖤

Hello there, angel! I assume you meant the chaotic Hijabi MC headcanon that I wrote, so I hope you enjoyed these xx

she/her pronouns!!

The (Un)Dateable Characters' + Luke’s Reactions to a Hijabi MC That Looks Extremely Pious and Quiet but is Actually a Chaotic Mess

Diavolo

As future king of the Devildom that wishes to strengthen the relations between the three realms, prejudice and discrimination against the human exchange students’ choice of religion is a HUGE no-no

Diavolo would not mind the fact that she is wearing a symbol of her devotion to God on her head, but he would be so intrigued by this human at first meeting

Not about her religion, of course, he is well aware of all the religions in the world; Abrahamic religion being the one he is most familiar with (obvi)

What excited him was the fact that this human was so. friggin. hilarious.

He’s not even sure if this human is doing it on purpose because something would happen that would catch her off guard and she would just say?? the most random shit???

Like say, she got jumped by Mammon and her response to that would be a monotone scream and a “sTOP i could’ve dropped my croissant!” but she was actually genuinely startled

He’d be so fascinated like wow! Go girl, give us nothing!!

He would invite her over for tea so many times just so she could explain slang to him

Diavolo: Tell me MC, what is the meaning of DILF?

Due to personal reasons, MC will now be passing away

He would abuse the usage of slang everywhere and he would be so excited to finally understand what Leviathan is talking about

Lucifer: Diavolo, we must talk about the student council budget

Diavolo: That wasn’t very cash money of you

Lucifer: ....excuse me?

Diavolo: Periodt okurrr slay queen

MC has to go hide to avoid being slaughtered like a sacrificial lamb by Lucifer

Diavolo would be also be curious and impressed at the intricate planning of each and every one of her pranks

Like sure, it may be annoying to be the one at the receiving end of it, but understanding the details behind it?? All the logic, physics and patience put into it just to ensure a flawless delivery??? Absolutely stunning

MC has him mesmerised

He would absolutely want to learn the art of pranking from her

Honestly, at this point it’s no longer the human exchange student and the Devil King, it’s now the mentor and the mentee

Lucifer has to demand MC to stop teaching him these things for the sake of his sanity because it’s taking him away from his royal duties that’s keeping the Devildom from falling apart

They still meet up in secret though screw you, Lucifer

Barbatos

This is another demon whom would not mind the fact that their chosen exchange student is a Muslim

Lord Diavolo’s reputation hangs on this exchange program going extremely well, he would not let simple prejudices put a smear on that

He has prepared himself well to receive people from different walks of life just so he can provide all students a comfortable stay during their term in the Devildom

But wait...what is that human doing?

Oh...this poor man

Not only does he have to keep that ginormous labyrinth of a castle spotless and immaculate at all times and ensure that every event being hosted by the castle is going perfectly without a hitch, but he also has to take care of an overgrown man-child that is also known as the future king of the Devildom

Now, he has to make sure this...mess of a human doesn’t go stir up trouble anywhere?

Barbatos is a calm and collected man, but he’s still a demon; virtues aren’t exactly something they practice 

He would need to down three cups of melancholy coffee and squeeze a stress ball whenever he catches MC in her antics whether it is alone or with someone in tow

Somehow he’s the only one whom MC would find almost impossible to prank

Like she managed to catch Lucifer off guard once (that was her proudest achievement) but BARBATOS???? yeah, it’s like he has a pair of eyes on the back of his head or something

MC: *tries to sneak up on him*

Barbatos, not even turning back: Enough of that now, MC, come enjoy this tea I’ve made

Pranking Barbatos will become her number one mission during her entire term in the Devildom

Barbatos would be really amused and impressed at the lengths she would go through just to see that shocked look on his face

Why, it might even be—dare he say—endearing

Though MC will cause this man stress and grey hairs, Barbatos couldn’t help but appreciate her company every time she came around

When she’s not up to her daily shenanigans, she would simply opt to help Barbatos out with some of the chores or preparing the treats for a tea party with the student council members and the exchange program, even though he’s mentioned that she should do no such thing

But knowing that this girl is constantly energetic and restless, Barbs agreed to let her help since he would not want to deal with her breaking some priceless antiques or getting herself in trouble with Devildom law again

She helps to remind him that it’s okay to be laidback once in a while and that he doesn’t need to be so uptight all the time

These two have an unusual friendship but it’s only good vibes all around ^^

Before she leaves the Devildom though, he would pretend that she actually managed to startle him with her last grand prank and the look on her face was worth his reputation taking a slight hit

He totally has a soft spot for her

Solomon

OOOOH THESE TWO

THESE TWO ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS ITSELF

Solomon and MC would be the best of friends man

The minute this shady sorcerer laid his eyes on her, he KNEW...this would be his new BFF

They would wreak so much havoc together that they give Lucifer a migraine the size of Lord Diavolo’s castle because they’re rUiNiNG tHe iNtEgRiTy oF tHE eXcHanGe pRoGrAm

Psh, as if that’d stop them

Honestly, it was like they each have one braincell that cancels each other out every time they get together

Lucifer: You two better have an explanation for this

MC: We have three actually. 

Solomon: Pick your favourite

Lucifer hates it whenever they get together and he would always try to prevent them from meeting up 

But his wits are no match for the power of their friendship!!

Solomon would defff try to persuade MC to get more pacts with other demons

Solomon: C’monnnn MC, we could be powerful! :c

MC: Bold of you to assume we’re not powerful now, bestie

So we have established that MC loves to pull pranks right?

She would have so many ideas on the top of her head that she would never use because 1) they either defy the laws of physics or 2) she would need magic to pull it off perfectly

So imagine her excitement when she found out Solomon is the greatest human sorcerer

She would 100% reel him in her plans and schemes and NO ONE (except the angels, they have immunity bc they’re babies :] ) would be safe from them

Despite all the fun they would have though, Solomon definitely treasures her as his greatest friend

I imagine life for Solomon would be quite lonely and he appreciates the constant joy and company that MC would provide him

He would definitely fuck a bitch up if someone dares to mess with his bestie 🙄

These two adore each other so much but they would be caught DEAD before they would admit that to each other 🤭

Simeon

When they first met, Simeon was so happy to find a person so devoted to God such as MC

He takes it upon himself to become MC’s guardian angel around the Devildom

He would helicopter them for a while and would (reluctantly) back off if MC finds it a bit suffocating 

(don’t be mean MC, he just cares about u alot that’s all :( )

This man is capital P patient

I mean, that’s a given with him being an angel and all

But seriously,,, one has to be in awe at how calm and collected he is even when MC would pull pranks that would cause a normal person to wanna punch the living daylights out of her

Eventually she would feel bad and stop pulling these pranks on him though, he’s just too sweet and she can’t take advantage of that </3

They would be really close though (along with Luke) because he would frequently invite her to pray the 5 essential prayers together with Luke or read the Qur’an together and it’s just wholesome vibes all around man 🥺

As angels, him and Luke would have such beautiful recitations of the Qur’an and I can picture MC frequently dropping by Purgatory Hall just to listen to him recite the kalimahs with the perfect tajweed (Non-Muslims if you’d like to hear an example, check out Sheikh Mishary reciting Surah al-Kahf, it’s beautiful man 🥺)

He would frequently invite MC and Luke out for walks too and these three would look so domestic together people often mistake them as a little family (much to the brothers’ chagrin and Simeon’s amusement)

Simeon has such a calming presence that he could even tame a chaotic MC down and have her sit still enough, it will be as if she turned into a completely different person

Lucifer, in his demon form: MC STOP RUNNING AROUND YOU’RE GOING TO FALL AND HURT URSELF

MC, violently shaking like a hamster on crack: U CANT STOP ME LUCI, URE NOT THE BOSS OF-

Simeon: Hello, MC! Would you like to come and have a pleasant chat with me? ^^ 

MC, as if in a trance: ...anything for you, Beyonce

MC is such a simp for Simeon and honestly, who can blame her?

Luke

Luke was extremely happy when the two of them met

This cutie is a proud servant of God and he loves humans who loves Him as much as he does

So it comes as to no one’s surprise when he attaches himself to MC

This would heighten when MC stepped between him, Beel and Lucifer during that,,,,incident

His favourite time of the day is praying in congregation with MC and Simeon and baking with MC

MC would steer clear from involving Luke in her pranks and/or outright pranking him

He’s just a precious little child okay, MC has a soft spot for this angel

She would definitely try to tone down her chaotic energy around him, but she would NOT hesitate to verbal + cyber bully any demons that dare to bully her child

Rando demon: haha shortstack

MC: So you have chosen death

Seriously, Luke would gawk at the obscenities coming from MC’s mouth

He would have to physically drag her away before the demons could devour them both

He would be absolutely SHOOKETH at the language she used because she has been nothing but sweet and polite to him. It was like she switched into a whole different person right in front of his eyes

Luke: MC! I knew living with those horrid demons is a bad idea! They’ve corrupted you now!! *crying Luke noises*

MC: Lil buddy, I was born this way

He would definitely feel really touched that MC is so protective of him though, but he would have to tell her to never say those words again, even if she’s trying to protect him

She would (hesitantly) tell him she would try her best but that would literally only last for half a day because another demon has foolishly decided to mess with him with her present

MC is Luke’s mother point blank period.

[kyber-crystal]

united we stand || s.r

summary: in which you, sam, steve, and natasha are forced to go on the run after civil war. unfortunately, being a fugitive with government officials out for his blood doesn’t seem to stop the great captain america from falling even more in love with you.

words: ~2.5k

warnings: slight angst, sam and natasha being matchmakers, fluff 

a/n: OMG IM SORRY THIS ONE WAS SO POORLY WRITTEN ADLFJDSF

It doesn't have to come down to this, Tony. Look what you're doing. You're tearing the Avengers apart."

"You did that when you sided with Cap, Y/N."

"What do we do now?"

"We fight."

"He's my friend."

"So was I."

"He killed our parents, Y/N. And you're still willing to take his side? I thought I could trust you. But I guess I can't even rely on my own judgement anymore to make decisions, can I?"

Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you jumped from rooftop to rooftop, a dull ache forming at the edges of your skull due to all the thoughts rushing around in your brain and narrowly escaping a flurry of over two dozen of General Ross's men.

Guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, making your insides churn. You turned against the last family you had left, and now you were paying the price.

You're one hundred percent sure that Tony hates your guts at this point. Leaving your brother for someone else; what had you become?

"What now?" Sam asked, looking around and sending Redwing out to survey your surroundings for any other agents that could be approaching. "What's our next step?"

"We gotta catch a train. Belfast's no longer safe for us," Steve panted as he slid his shield over his back, trying to catch his breath. "Our safety's already compromised as it is."

"Nat's gonna go get the tickets, I'll buy us some disguises. We're less likely to be recognized because you guys are all suited up with your wings and shield," you explained. "Wait here."

A few minutes later you were all dressed inconspicuously in your new disguises, looking like the other civilians that were walking around. You didn't have enough time to check the sizes of the clothing, so Steve ended up wearing some jeans and a light grey T-shirt that was about a size too small for him, outlining every inch of his toned torso.

You quickly tore your gaze away before anyone noticed you staring. Sam caught this, however, and sent you a little wink. You glared at him in response.

"The next train to Glasgow leaves in nine. We gotta hurry," Natasha said as she handed you your tickets. "Come on."

Luckily you weren't recognized as the ticket holder came around, though you tried to keep your heads down low when she passed by.

"It's a 14 hour ride. You fellas might wanna relax, take a nap or something," she said, reclining her seat back and closing her eyes. "We won't be arriving until early tomorrow morning."

You relaxed in your seat, the tension in your muscles loosening a bit. But Steve saw the distressed look in your eyes and placed a gentle hand on top of yours.

"You alright?"

"Could be better, I mean, it's not like I chose to be a fugitive on the run from the entire world," you joked, but the smirk on your face quickly fell. "No. I'm not."

"It's going to be okay, you know. Things'll work out in the end."

"I sure hope so."

You fell into an awkward silence after that, resting your chin on your hand as you stared out ahead, watching the rolling hills whiz by in a blur, the vibrant green a sharp contrast to the powdery blue sky. Ireland was a beautiful country, really. You wished you could stay longer purely for the sake of admiring all the lovely scenery.

"You know, if you just want to talk about anything, we can do that. 14 hours is a pretty long train ride," he finally spoke up about an hour later. Sam was fast asleep at this point, mouth opened slightly as his head rested on Natasha's shoulder, who was sleeping as well.

"Yeah, it is. But we've had worse days, right?"

"We have," Steve agreed.

So you just talked, about whatever came to your minds. Your childhood, your past before joining the Avengers Initiative where you'd previously served as one of SHIELD's top agents for several years, Steve's life back in the 40's before becoming a super-soldier, how much things changed over the years. About past missions.

Soon enough you felt your eyelids droop heavily from fatigue. He noticed your tiredness and reached out his right arm, gently wrapping it around you and pulling you towards his side, encircling you completely in his warm embrace. Slowly but steadily, your muscles began to release the tension in them and you leaned into his touch.

"Why don't you get some shut-eye. We have plenty of time to talk when we arrive."

"Mhm," you mumbled sleepily. He smiled, brushing a few stray hairs away from your face as you drifted off.

...

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is our final stop. We have arrived at Glasgow Central Station," the conductor's voice announced over the intercom as the train began slowing down. "The weather is currently 59 degrees, and it is 5:27 a.m."

"Wake up, lovebirds," Natasha clapped as you stirred slightly, looking confused as you raised your head from where it rested against Steve's chest. "Time to get going."

You yawned and stood up, stepping off onto the platform into the station, surprisingly busy at the crack of dawn. You really just wanted to curl back up into a ball and sleep. Talking for four hours straight with Steve had knocked you out completely.

After getting new SIM cards, Sam quickly created an account to get you checked into a hotel.

"It's a half hour walk. We should probably limit public transportation as much as we can," he stated as he slid his phone into his jacket pocket. "Managed to snag a 40% off deal including a free night, so we're good for the next few weeks until we get an actual apartment."

"You know," Natasha commented, adjusting her baseball cap and aviators as you made your way outside down the bustling street, "if we weren't currently trying to flee from the government's grasp, I'd say I'd wanna come back here for a vacation. And that's on nice architecture."

"With us?" you raised an eyebrow.

"Why not? You're pretty good company. I wouldn't wanna hang out with anyone else."

"Well, what can I say?" Sam puffed up his chest. "I'm smooth with the ladies."

You simply laughed. "Yeah, sure you are."

Glasgow was a breathtaking city. With sprawling Victorian style buildings and cobblestone roads, brightly labeled bars and restaurants, it appeared as if it was pulled straight from a rustic 19th-century painting.

You checked into your hotel after grabbing some food from the nearby bakery. For a cheap price, your room was surprisingly simple but large: a king bed in one room, a pullout couch, and a small balcony so you could stand outside and take in the view of the city.

Despite having no time zone difference between Ireland and Scotland, you were still extremely jet-lagged, most likely due to the flight you'd taken over to Berlin not long ago. After binge-watching reruns of some sitcom for the rest of the day, you fell asleep, clutching your pillow tightly.

Natasha and Sam had good eyes, and could clearly see something was going on between you and Steve.

The truth was, you wanted something to happen but both of you were too chicken to make a move, thinking being in relationship while on the run was inconvenient and unnecessary.

The first few days passed by relatively quickly. You only really went out to buy groceries, and even then you went two at a time to avoid drawing unwanted attention to yourselves. Once, you treated yourselves to a night out at a nice restaurant, enjoying each others' company. It was a way to forget about your currently unfortunate situation.

...

But then the nightmares began.  

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed after waking up in a cold sweat, heading over to the bathroom. Everyone had already gone to sleep long ago, and you envied people like Sam as he could knock out cold almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Staring at your ghostly reflection in the mirror, you squeezed your eyes shut, releasing tears that cascaded down your flushed cheeks in a hot flood. You ran trembling fingers through your messy hair in an attempt to tame it, taking a brief look at your disheveled appearance. The heavy dark circles underneath your bloodshot eyes that were a result of hardly sleeping over the past week were clear, as well as your sunken cheekbones and deathly pale complexion.

You studied the woman that looked back at you, with the same unnerving and hollowed out gaze that she'd worn for years; a façade she learned to develop so that nobody could see when she felt weak; helpless. 

Ten days. 

Only ten days had passed since you arrived in Scotland, yet it seemed as if you aged ten years during that short amount of time. Small creases in between your brows indicated stress and anxiety from leaving everything you knew behind, for a future you could barely see ahead of. For a life that held an endless amount of consequences if you took one misstep, one wrong move.

Your body felt heavy, weighed down as if you carried the weight of a thousand men upon your aching shoulders. You didn't know what to do; what to think anymore.

You didn't look thirty-two anymore, you looked older. Almost as old as Tony. And there was a 10+ year age gap between you and him.

God, Tony.

You betrayed him. The last living member of your family on earth, and you betrayed him.

Turned your back on him, because you didn't believe in the same ideas. Was it really worth turning your back on your own blood just because of a disagreement?

I thought I could trust you.

I thought I could, too. But I guess things don't always work out as planned, do they?

They don't. I don't even know what I can say to you anymore. Hell, I can't look at you without seeing a traitor. You turned your back on all of us, and that's unforgivable.

The Accords, you know I couldn't sign them. It isn't right. I'm fighting for what I believe in.

No, you're fighting for Steve, not yourself. Always running over to precious Cap even if it costs you your safety, if it costs you everything and everyone you ever loved. Because you think that you can rely on him and him alone, to get through this. You won't get very far by keeping this act up, you know.

News flash; the world doesn't revolve around you, Tony. Just because someone doesn't agree with what you believe, doesn't mean you have to tear their team, their family, apart for it.

You're blaming me?

Maybe I am.

"What are you doing up this late?"

Steve's voice jolted you from your train of thought, and you looked up to see him leaning against the doorframe dressed in sweats and another tight-fitting T-shirt, his blue eyes scanning over you worriedly.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm fine, if that's what you're wondering. I'm just a bit jet-lagged," you muttered, hastily wiping away another stray tear that escaped. He pushed himself off the wall and caught your wrist as you were bringing your hand down, tugging you towards him slightly.

"Tell me what's going on."

"I'm fine!"

"No, you're not. What's wrong, Y/N?"

"I..." your voice faltered. You didn’t even realize you’d started crying until you felt your face grow wet from the salty tears that rolled silently into your cracked lips. "I don't know. Everything's wrong."

"Everything?"

"I made a mistake."

"What do you mean, mistake?"

"I turned my back against Tony. My family. I betrayed my own family, Steve." Your voice cracked. "And now I can't even guarantee that I'll ever see him again."

"You did what you had to do," he said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. You felt your skin burning up under his touch. "You were just trying to do what you felt was right."

"Yeah, by teaming up with the side of the man who killed my parents. I can't imagine what he even thinks of me right now."

A look of hurt briefly passed over Steve's face at the mention of Bucky.

"...But I know their deaths were out of his control, so I don't blame him," you continued. "Still..I hurt him. And now, I have to live with knowing that fact." "Look, I'm sorry."

"What?"

You looked up and met his gaze, feeling his bright blue eyes boring into yours. He didn't seem upset or angry at all; there was an eerie softness and calming feeling about the way he looked at you that made you relax a bit.

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess. I never wanted you to have this kind of life; where you're always living in uncertainty. You deserve better than that."

"It's not your fault at all," you swallowed hard. Talking and breathing grew increasingly difficult with the sob that was building up in the back of your throat, that you tried desperately to conceal for so long, "it's mine. I made that decision to side with you, not only because I couldn't stand the idea of signing the Accords. So it's...it's on me. God, I don't know what to do anymore, I can't—"

A wave of grief suddenly hit you from all sides, causing you to keel over, sliding down against the cold wall with a hand clutching your stomach as an agonized scream tear itself through your body and out of your throat. And you were drowning; suffocated by your own tears as you struggled to breathe. You tried desperately to stop them but nothing could seem to hold back the heavy sobs that wracked your body, clawing at your lungs and heart. 

Steve crouched down in front of you and pulled you against him, arms tightening around your body with each cry that escaped your lips. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to take all your sadness and frustration and grief and put it upon himself, to carry the weight on his shoulders so he wouldn't have to watch you endure the pain. He'd much rather have to suffer himself than watch you try and bear the burden and fall to pieces in the process.

Seeing you breaking down before him with your gut-wrenching cries that echoed across the small space, more vulnerable than you'd ever been in front of him before, made it feel as if someone was directly ripping his heart right out of his chest and tearing it into a thousand pieces with their bare hands. 

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered soothingly as he pressed his lips to the side of your temple, "it's okay. I've got you. You're gonna be okay."

Despite how you felt as if your heart was twisting itself into knots, there was something comforting about the way he held you ever so gently in his arms, the way his warm breath fell against his neck as one arm was firmly hooked around your waist, running his free hand through your hair.

So for a moment, you allowed yourself to believe that there was no one else in the world except for just you and him, holding you close, and that everything was fine, even if the feeling only lasted for a second.

[purplesurveys]

1062

survey by chrissylee22dc

A

Achievements: I guess I’m being asked to list some of mine...some of the ones I’m proudest of, at least, are graduating university with honors, landing a job (liking it is a big bonus), and taking up leadership positions.

Age: I am 22, but never felt quite like it.

Are you planning something right now? Kind of. I’m eyeing a long road trip to Tanay with just myself and go to one of their coffee shops, but idk when I’ll be able to do that. My wallet and bank account are still beat from Christmas lol (and until now I’m still buying gifts for friends), so it might have to wait until sometime next month.

Arizona or Alaska: I think Arizona weather is already quite like ours here, so I might enjoy Alaska a bit (if not a lot) more. There’s generally a lot more factors I find interesting with Alaska, like their food.

B

Birthdate: April 21st.

Build: I’m quite thin and underweight, but I actually recently made plans to start working out - both to make an effort to be healthy with myself, and also to feel good post-breakup. I’m hoping to see some changes in my body and build in the coming months.

Babies, do you have any? None of those, not sure if that’s still the plan for me.

Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.

C

Childhood sweetheart: Erm, does Gab count? We technically weren’t kids anymore when we first got together. I wasn’t attracted to anyone as a kid and was more concerned with growing my Pokemon pogs collection.

Current mood: I’m hungry and can go for savory breakfast foods right now, like shakshuka or huevos rancheros. Also a little anxious because I really don’t want to think about work, but tasks continue to pile up for a certain client.

Children, are there more in your future? There aren’t even any to begin with.

Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi just because it reminds me of Punk and my chaotic wrestling fangirl years.

D

Dad's name: Edgardo, but no one calls him by that full name. He has two nicknames; one of which he hates and only family and friends use, and the other is the name he has permanently introduced himself as in his workplace.

Dating anyone: Not anymore.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Don’t most people?

Dogs or cats: Dogs.

E

Elementary School: I’m not sharing that.

Eye color: Dark brown/black.

Ever going to China? Probably not right now considering the present situation. I’d love to go to the rural cities and have a peek into their country life.

Early or Late: EARLY. Lateness is a big pet peeve, unless the excuse is super reasonable like Manila traffic or a car accident.

F

First Crush: The first person I felt remotely attractive to was Andi, from 6th grade. Then she moved to New Zealand and the crush quickly faded out.

Fears: For concrete things, I hate cockroaches and fair rides. For bigger concepts, I fear getting left behind, failing, and not getting approval, and the idea of never being satisfied or happy with who I am, what I’ve done, or where I’ve gone.

Future goals: Have a place of my own, be able to sustain myself, and keep myself alive.

Funny or Serious: I think everyone has to have both sides. I wouldn’t want to hang out long with people who can’t be sat down to just shoot the shit with conversations that go a little deeper. At the same time, I’d be quickly bored with someone who talks about existential or philosophical topics 24/7 and takes everything seriously.

G

Grandparent's names: On my dad’s side, Dolores and Federico; on my mom’s side, Agnes and Jun. My maternal grandpa is the third in multiple generations of Abelardos in the family, but his nickname is simply ‘Jun,’ because Philippines.

GPA: We don’t measure our grades with that, but we do have a GWA; I’m just not sure how that can be converted to GPA. Mine was in the 1.47 range, which was good enough for cum laude honors. I barely missed out on a magna cum laude honor (which required a 1.45 GWA), so that’s something I’ve always been pressed about and I know I could have clinched it if the pandemic didn’t cancel my final semester, which would’ve given me the chance to pull up my grades.

Going anywhere this weekend? I don’t think so. I want to spend the remaining 5 days of my break completely unproductively.

Giver or Taker: Giver. I like pleasing people.

H

High School: I attended one school from kindergarten to high school.

Hair color: Black.

Hate anyone for life? I don’t think so. I dislike some people, but I can’t tell if I’ll feel that way for the rest of my life.

Hairspray or Gel: When I’m going somewhere or attending something fancy, I use hair gel to hold my hair down.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Eighth grade is freshman year of high school, right? In that case, my best friend was Gabie.

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes it is. I like no longer being updated about Gabie’s life. Back when I still tried to push my way in, I was miserable. I stopped doing so over the holidays and I just stopped reaching out, stopped trying to communicate, everything. I’ve been a lot happier that way.

Is there anything you wanna share? That’s kinda the goal with every survey I take.

Ice Cream or Cake: Right now, maybe ice cream. I’m very picky about cake, and I don’t like the spongy ones aka most cakes I know.

J

Jumped rope for fun: That’s exactly what I use jump ropes for. I don’t think I ever used it for fitness or working out except for maybe PE.

Junk around you right now? I mean, not really. I have my embroidery stuff in a pile beside me, but I don’t consider them junk.

Joining anything anytime soon? Not planning on it. I briefly considered joining a gym as a new thing to do for 2021, but in the end I figured working out at home would be enough. Angela recommended the latter as well, so that’s how I abandoned my gym plans quickly haha.

January or July: I guess July? January always feels just a teeny bit stranger than other months, considering it’s the beginning of a new year.

K

Killed anyone: ...This serious?

Keeping a secret? I keep different secrets from different people.

Kicking someone off your top friends today? I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.

Kiwi or Apple: Apple, just because I’ve never had the chance to taste kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: I’ve lived 22 years, of course I have. I’d be very surprised if someone has lived that long but has never experienced losing people, whether from a fallout, from death, etc. Just this year alone I lost a great-aunt on my maternal grandpa’s side, and a ton of relatives from my maternal grandma’s side.

Last kiss, when and who: Gabie, three months ago.

List 3 people that you'll love forever: I can only think of Angela. And of course, Gab.

Lover or Fighter: Fighter, I suppose. I can be relentless. Right now with my breakup has been the only time I allowed myself to take a step back and not forcibly take things under my control for once.

M

Middle School: We don’t follow the concept of middle school here. The levels in middle school fall under elementary school as well.

Marital Status: Single.

Mom's name: Abigail.

Music or TV: TV.

N

Northernmost state you've been to: Batanes, which is as northernmost as northernmost gets in the Philippines.

Nickname: A lot of family members call me Byn, but for the most part Robyn has always been my main nickname.

Name your future boy and girl: I have yet to make up my mind about this.

Naughty or Nice: Nice. I never particularly feel ~naughty, and since the breakup I especially haven’t felt the need to be sexual.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours? Sometimes I’ll open the electricity or water bill addressed to my parents out of curiosity just to find out how much we consumed in the last month. But nothing more than that.

Occupation: I’m an associate at a PR agency.

Owe anyone money: Nope.

Outgoing or Shy: Shy at first but I can get outgoing once I’ve warmed up to a person/situation.

P

Place you most want to be? Right now? I’d love to be at a coffee shop or bar at a higher altitude, with a view of the city. I used to go to a lot of these before the pandemic hit, but now I’m thinking of doing it again.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? No.

Planning a major trip? Not really. Most tourist spots require swab tests and I am not having anything go up my nose.

Pink or Black? Love both, but I like pink ever so slightly more.

Q

Quit a class: I’ve never dropped a class. I’ve wanted to, but there was so much paperwork to fill out to do so and I also didn’t want to be behind on my overall schedule.

Quickly...the first word to come to mind: Whistle, because the pink/black question reminded me of Blackpink.

Quitting your job soon? No lol I’m barely two months in.

Quiet or Loud: I can be both, but these days I’ve been quieter.

R

Riding in an airplane: I have no idea what this is asking.

Ride, tell me about yours: ^ Same.

Running for any political office in the future? No plans to.

Rain or Snow: I guess rain, since it’s the only one I’ve experienced.

S

Siblings names and ages: Nina is 20, my brother is 17.

Shoe size: I fit anywhere between a size 6 to 7.

Shave daily? It used to be daily, but I haven’t had the need to since the quarantine began.

Shower or Bath: Shower.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): It’s been a year since then.

Texas, ever been? No but I have relatives who live there, so it’s one of my choice states to visit and stay at if I ever plan to go to the US.

Think you'll live to be 100? I doubt it. I don’t have any relatives who lived until that age.

Tame or Wild: Idk, tame I guess?? I don’t know what this is asking.

U

Unique quality about you: I feel like this is a question best answered by other people who see and interact with me more than I do myself.

Underwear on? Yeah.

Under your bed lies: Large containers with all the magazines I collected from childhood that I can’t bring myself to throw out.

Under or Over: Idk, you have to be more specific.

V

Virgin? No.

Vacation time left? I have five days left, including today :( I plan to be the most unproductive or bum-y I’ve ever been, because I have no clue when I’ll have a break this long again.

Voting in the next Presidential election? Of course.

Volleyball or Swimming: I like swimming more, but I like watching volleyball.

W

Went white water rafting? I don’t think so, but I would give it a shot.

Wearing right now: A hoodie that’s around two sizes bigger for me.

Write a sentence about you: About anything? I’m a little upset with myself for having been a bit lousy with survey-taking during the holiday break. I planned on taking a lot to catch up on the ones I’ve missed out on, but so far I mostly take just one a day lol.

West Coast or East Coast: East.

X

X-Rays in the past month: 0.

X-Mas plans: Had a get-together with my mom’s side of the family on the 24th; we hosted our own Christmas party on the 25th; and we visited my dad’s side of the family on the 26th.

X, does it mark the spot? Idk.

X-Tina or Britney? Britney.

Y

You lost "it" when? I mean, I’ve had more than one moment where I freaked out...

Your favorite song:  I’m really in love with Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House. My favorite songs come and go, but this one has been a constant.

Your favorite place on Earth: Sagada.

Yes or No: Idk. I’m not enjoying these vague ass questions.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Zodiac Sign: Idk, I’m still a Taurus.

Zippos are neat, agree? I don’t have an opinion.

Zoo or Circus: Neither.

[theroseandcrown]

The Rose & Crown: Chapter Five

Rating: M Chapters: 5/24

Summary: Clara and the Doctor find themselves on the trail of the mystery surrounding their memory loss. What will they find when they follow the clues?

Read this story on another platform: Archive of Our Own Fan Fiction WattPad

Clara had always been impressed by the selection of clothing available to her in the ship’s wardrobe. The items she found in there consisted of such created by the TARDIS herself or those that had been left behind by the Doctor’s previous companions. Either way, they excelled in their knowledge of well-fashioned taste when it came to providing her with disguises to accompany him on his travels. Whether it be the year nineteen hundred or forty thousand, the old gal certainly knew how to treat a girl. Although, this time she may have outdone herself a bit. Having searched for quite some time through the ever-changing, ever relocating closet, her heart jumped when she saw the dress. Champagne in colour, the floor-length fabric was entirely embroidered with tiny sparkling silver patterned jewels from the modestly draped straps over her shoulders to the tips of her clear heeled shoes. Gazing at her finished form in the mirror, the dress seemed to embrace her with an ethereal glow. A part of her shook the thought that a particular dress of this nature might be too fashionable for a girl such as her. She exited the wardrobe and headed for the control room where the Doctor told her to meet him. Hesitating for only a moment to regain her confidence, she lifted her skirt above her shoes and climbed the metal staircase towards the heart of the TARDIS.

“Finally!” the Doctor exclaimed after hearing her soft footsteps approaching from behind. “You’ve been down there nearly an hour!” He spun around to face her. “What on Earth took you so-?” And then he saw her, truly saw her. Her presence in the room suddenly cleared him of all thought and speech. He had travelled with her an uncountable amount of times. From the past to the future and beyond even that. And yet, she always remained the same Clara to him no matter what version of her he was with. Always his impossible girl. There was no one else he would rather have by his side. He cared for her more deeply than he would ever dare to admit. All the dangers he put her through, all the incidences in which he thought he’d lost her had been more unbearable each time. He fought to keep the feelings he had for her from himself and anyone they ever encountered together from the moment he first laid eyes upon her in his previous form. He felt that somewhere buried deep inside his stubbornness, she would never accept him in this body as she did with his last. This furrowed old man he had become could never compete with the love she still carried in her heart for his younger self. It was better this way. Emotions are dangerous. There were far too many enemies in the universe willing to take advantage of a weakness so great.

Something inside of him was freed from its forgotten place as she approached him, a feeling he thought he would never have for anyone else. He couldn’t tear himself away from her magnificent grace. She could light up every star in the sky or power an entire world with just the look in her eyes at that moment. He could feel the electricity emanating through the air in the palms of his hands. The deafening silence in the room could only be tamed by the delicate sound of her shoes tapping along the metal flooring. He watched her approach until she was but an arm’s length in front of him. “You look, uh…” were the only words he could manage.

“Is it too much?”

“No, um-”

“It’s too much, isn’t it,” she responded nervously, beginning to feel foolish.

“No, no! Well, I mean, it’s not bad. For a girl who can’t even tie a tie correctly. But I suppose the dress will have to do,” he humoured her in an attempt to maintain a hold over his emotions.

“Thanks.” She knew that was the closest to a compliment as she was going to get. She noticed he’d taken the time to groom himself in her absence. A characteristic he hadn’t seemed to have adopted very often in this body, if at all. And yet, something about the way he looked in his tuxedo warmed her from within as if she were standing beside an open flame during the dead of winter. All the anger she felt earlier in the day and the past several weeks had melted away leaving no trace of its former existence. The warm feeling inside of her began to grow more intense as she stepped closer, their shoes nearly touching. “I could say the same about you,” she pointed out, slowly reaching up to straighten his tie.

He watched her every move. His hearts raced at the sensation of her fingers grazing along the outside of his collared shirt. He gazed down at the top of her head as she perfected his slightly skewed necktie. The closer she was to him, the more he could feel the electricity making its way throughout his body. There was something different about her, something he hadn’t noticed before. Not strange, per se, a rather enjoyable feeling actually. A warmth about her. He felt the tiny hairs on his arms rise underneath the sleeves of his jacket. A very faint, almost entirely unnoticeable connection to his telepathic abilities could be detected. Is she somehow reading my mind?

“Well!” He nervously pulled away from her grasp and quickly moved to the console. He feared he may have endured her closeness for too long. If she had been reading his mind, there was no doubt he might have let some thoughts slip by he shouldn’t have. Trying to distract himself, he made a few adjustments to the computer. “Shall we?” he asked, extending a hand towards her. He could sense her reluctance, possibly having to do with the day’s previous conflict between them. The look of uncertainty in her eyes. He knew he had tampered with her trust in him. There was only one way to make it right. “Clara Oswald, I would be deeply honoured if you would accompany me as... my date,” he requested, offering a bent arm for her to accept if it pleased her. Clara smiled. The same smile that drove him into the deepest parts of his sanity. Accepting his offer, she interlocked her arm in his and prepared to be transported to the next adventure. Matching her smile with his own, he pulled down on the lever and sent the time machine to its instructed coordinates.

Prima Nova

The TARDIS materialized into the medium-sized vacant room. The door opened and the Doctor poked his head out from within to examine their new surroundings. Once it was decidedly safe, he exited the box as Clara followed closely behind.

“Well, this is exciting!” She took hold of his arm with her own. The anticipation of what was out there sent a sense of thrill throughout her body. Each time they encountered the unknown together, there was always a feeling of excitement mixed with a small amount of fear of what they might come across. But this time felt different. Being with him made her truly feel like a part of his life again. “It’s as if we’re solving our own mystery! Just the lot of us. Like Sherlock Holmes!”

“Yes, well, if only Sir Conan Doyle had known the true identity of whom he really based his main character on, I’d bet he would’ve looked a little more green, and had scales, and was actually a woman,” he replied, remembering his past adventures with Vastra, Jenny, and Strax. Back when he felt the universe didn’t need him to be the Doctor anymore. Back when he had given up all hope. “Besides, their mysteries were nothing but child’s play in comparison to what I’ve seen in my lifetime. Imagine the pair of them encountering an army of Cybermen back in their day. What a great story that would have been to tell the kiddies.”

They approached the extraordinarily large double doors to the room in which they were standing. They were over a storey in height and several arm lengths wide. A questioning look appeared on his face as he took out his sonic-screwdriver and attempted to scan the door. Other than being made of wood, in which the screwdriver lacked in its abilities, there was nothing he would usually be concerned about. Except that these doors appeared brand new as if they had just been installed, unlike the other walls in the room or the ancient relics hosted inside of it.

“Doctor? What is it?” Her grip on him tightened with concern.

“This door. It’s unusually large for a room this size, don’t you think?”

“Maybe they’re just really tall people?” She couldn’t help the smile that formed.

Frowning at her humour, he placed his ear to the wood and listened for any sounds. Glancing towards her, he opened the door. The light from the other side brightly filled the space all around them. In the next room, they could see hundreds of well-dressed normal-sized people chatting and mingling amongst each other while oblivious to their entrance. Shutting the door behind them, he led her into the crowd to blend in as if they had been there all along. “Now remember,” he warned, continuing to lead her through the mixed mass of aliens. “We’re here to find out what happened to us, not to dilly-dally. No distractions. Look for anything you might remember.”

Clara frowned. All these people enjoying themselves and she was stuck with the Time Lord, Slayer of Fun. Doing as he asked, her eyes scanned the room for anything that would jog her memory. She didn’t recognize any of the other guests nor the room they were in. Nothing out of the ordinary, besides being surrounded by aliens of course. However, she supposed that to them it was she who was the alien. She noticed a strange object hanging from the ceiling high above the guests’ heads. An orb-like structure encased in shaded glass. “What’s that?” she asked, pointing upwards.

“Brain scanner,” he responded, having already noticed it the second they entered the lobby. “It detects ill-intent.”

“What would they need a brain scanner for at a party?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

She could feel him pulling her towards the next room where they were greeted by a well-dressed man of a species she was not familiar with. He stood eagerly behind a host’s station. A badge clung just below his lapel were inscribed with the words Xarbanka, Maître D’.

“Ah! Mr and Mrs Smith!” he addressed them, extending a scaled hand towards the Doctor. “So good to see you again! Mrs Smith, you look absolutely stunning this evening!” He returned his attention to the Doctor. “Better keep a good eye on her tonight, sir!” he boasted with a friendly smile.

“Will do,” he replied, trying to keep the thought of having no memory of this man at rest.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” the man added, retrieving a lightweight box from inside the station. “This arrived earlier today with strict instructions to deliver to you personally upon your arrival.”

“For me?” The Doctor raised a questioning brow. “Who sent it?”

“They didn’t say. It was accompanied by this.” The man pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him.

Taking the note, he opened it to observe its message. For Mr Smith, from a friend. Glancing towards the Maître D’, he placed the note inside his pocket and released the clip holding the small box shut before hesitantly opening the lid. Inside were two identical pairs of what appeared to be ordinary reading glasses. Upon examination, he found nothing peculiar about them. Removing them from their case, he promptly placed them into his jacket pocket and nodded his gratitude towards the man. Turning to Clara, he noticed she was experiencing the same confusion as he. “Well, shall we head for the refreshments, dear?” A smile formed on his face as he played along with his new role. They parted ways with the man and headed towards the entrance of the next room where the sound of live music was heard playing.

“That was a bit strange,” she whispered. “Were you expecting a package here?”

“No, which means whoever sent it must have known we were going to be here at this exact moment.”

“So, Mr Smith, eh?” She tried to hold back her laughter. “They get a lot of caretakers to come to these things, do they?”

“And, apparently, their wives,” he teased.

“Hmm, Mrs Clara Smith. Doesn’t sound all that bad. Better than Mrs The Doctor. Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” She let out a small laugh.

“My, aren’t we chipper this evening,” he noted, addressing her sudden adjustment in mood from earlier. The more they immersed themselves into their surroundings, the brighter she had become. He could feel the happiness resounding inside of her now seeping into him. “To what do I owe this new change? Surely you haven’t forgiven me for everything already,” he prodded, yet remained hopeful the answer would be, ‘Yes.’

“I dunno.” Clara thought about it. It was as if she didn’t even remember being so cross with him. As if it happened ages ago. Whatever feelings she felt before had been replaced by something else, something warmer. Something she wasn’t so sure she had control of. Whatever it was, she liked it. She liked the way she felt around him now more than ever. The thoughts and feelings she still clung to of his last form were slowly being replaced by his new one. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” she added. As they entered the next room, her grip on him tightened. “Doctor!” she nearly gasped his name. “I’ve been here before. I remember this room from my dream.” She looked around the structure to observe the walls and flooring. It was the same as the nightmare she experienced right before the spectre attacked her. It sent shivers down her spine seeing this place again. Her eyes searched the room for the ghosts she had seen before only to find it was vacant of them. Even the people were different from those in her vision.

“Do you recognize anyone?” he asked, taking in all the details they might have been missing.

“No, you?”

“Nothing.” He strained to discover a clue, anything that might jog his memory of having been there before. He noticed a second scanner atop the ceiling and assumed there was one in each room.

As Clara examined the unfamiliar faces, she couldn’t help but wonder it if was possible they had been wrong. That there wasn’t anything there to find. Had they come all this way for nothing? She continued to observe the guests paired with their partners and dancing to the rhythm of the music. So carefree, so unaware of anything out of the ordinary. Just simply dancing and enjoying the company of one another. Feeling safer, for the moment, she turned to him. “Would you care to dance?”

“Good thinking! Blend in, gather details. Surely one of these people holds the key to our memory!”

Shaking her head, she smiled and determined that he would always be the same old Doctor to her no matter how hard she tried to tame him. A part of her loved that about him and wouldn’t change it for anything.

He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. Facing her, he realized how long it had been since he had done this even if it were to simply gather data. Trying to recall exactly where he was supposed to put his hands and who was supposed to lead, he decided to go with his instincts instead. Under any other circumstances, he would have felt the flutter of his hearts beating. But this time, something about her was different. She placed the palm of her hand in his, the other wrapped around his back to which he mirrored. As he held her hand, he felt an overwhelming sense of emotion as he detected the vast amount of electricity emanating from her soft delicate fingers entwined in his own. He tried to hide his concern and concentrate on his objective, finding those responsible for all of this. Yet he couldn’t keep his mind focused on anything else. What was different about her? What was he missing? Stay focused, Doctor. Don’t lose yourself in her eyes. You are here for a reason. His mind teetered between studying the room and her gaze. He could feel her pulse in the palm of his hand, though it was strangely foreign. Far too fast to be her own. It’s nothing, she’s just excited. You mustn’t get distracted.

He could feel his muscles tense as her body drew close to his. Her head rested on his shoulder. The hand he claimed around her back found its way to her waist while the other held onto hers firmly. The same warmth he felt before in the TARDIS began to rise within him. The electricity from her hand deepened as if it were connecting to every fibre in his body. What is she doing to me, he wondered? Trying his hardest to stay on task, he began to distract his senses with observation. He counted the tiles on the floor, the number of beverages being passed around, anything even remotely relevant to their reason for being there. He noticed a few of the guests had their attention turned towards them. Did he know them? Did they know him? Could they be involved or was he just feeling paranoid? Before he lost himself in her arms, he attempted to de-escalate the intensity of their embrace. “I feel we are being watched,” he finally spoke, breaking the silence of the moment.

“By who?” she asked, slowly lifting her head off his shoulder.

“Usurians, behind you.”

“What’s a Usurian?” She started to look in their direction.

“Don’t turn around!” he ordered quietly, closely monitoring the other guests as he waited for just the right moment. Seizing the opportunity, he spun her around to the rhythm of the music. His dominant hand retained its grasp on hers as her back became flushed up against him. His other hand slid across her front and held her midsection firmly, pulling her even closer. He ignored the small gasp that escaped her lips. “There, just in front of you,” he whispered into her ear. “Do you recognize them?”

Clara, trying to swallow the surprise that overtook her from his sudden intimacy, glanced in the direction of which he was speaking. “No, I don’t think so.” She hardly even looked at the suspected guests, being too distracted by his closeness. Her free hand found its way to his and placed it gently atop his own. She could feel herself breathing more heavily as he applied pressure to her abdomen.

The Doctor, not ready to eliminate the Usurians as possible suspects, scanned the room again looking for more clues. Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, a powerful surge swept through him originating from the hand resting securely upon Clara’s body. A telepathic connection he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was so unbelievably strong, it pulled him out of his reality entirely.

He opened his eyes to find himself in an undetermined space, relocated from where he last stood as if he had been teleported. Darkness had formed all around him. Am I dreaming?  Far off in the distance, he saw a small light. Approaching slowly, he shielded his eyes from the intense glow emanating from it. As he drew closer, more finite details of its existence began to occupy the void surrounding him. Light particles circulated from its main source. The closer he stepped, the more he could hear it trying to speak to him. He heard the sound of its heart beating faintly, then louder until it beat like a drum deep in his soul. Yet there was something different about it. Something only he would be able to feel. There were two. Two distinct heartbeats originating from the same source. No, it can’t be! How is this possible?! He found himself being drawn to its life force, unable to stop himself from stepping closer until he could nearly reach it. The light burned his eyes yet he could not look away. His hand reached out, ready to succumb to its will, until his fingers made their first contact with it. Then there was a flash of light.

The Doctor opened his eyes once again, gasping and breathing heavily. He searched his surroundings thoroughly. He was back in the ballroom. His hand was still clenched around Clara’s as the other pressed her tightly against him from behind. Panic came over him. He quickly released himself from her and stepped away as the music came to an end. He saw her turn to face him, her eyes conveyed worry and concern for her friend. He couldn’t shake the vision in his head of what he saw, for what he feared was happening inside of her. He tried to even conceive of the possibility. His mind raced, his hearts beat rapidly in his chest. No, this isn’t possible!  Yet everything he knew and felt was pointing to only one answer, that his Clara was with child.

“Doctor?” She stepped closer only to watch him step even farther away. His eyes were wide with fright. “Doctor, what is it? What’s wrong?”

His mind burst and flooded with a thousand thoughts as if it were a shattering dam. So many questions, so little answers. It all started to make sense and didn’t at the same time. The electricity and warmth he felt just being around her, a warmth he thought to be the deep feelings he carried for her, was, in reality, the tangible emotions of the life form growing inside of her. Emotions they now shared. If Clara was upset, the child would imitate her distress. When she became elated, so would the child. And if she were to experience pain or suffering...

“I-I’m not sure.” He kept his distance. The words he wanted to say were lost under miles of thought. She came closer, the look of fear on her face as she did when they were in real danger. He couldn’t move, not because of the couples dancing all around him and trapping him where he was, but because his legs would not allow him to. As she stood in front of him, her hand reached for his. “Don’t,” he stopped her firmly. He couldn’t bear their touch again. Not now. Not when his mind needed to repair itself of its malfunction. They stood in unbearable silence, the music having long since ended as the musicians adjusted their pages for the next set. “I think I’ve had quite enough dancing for one evening,” he told her, trying to keep the worry off his face.

Clara was confused and mildly hurt. Had she done something wrong? Why was he so flustered, she wondered? The music started to sound again yet neither one of them yielded their positions on the floor. She hardly even noticed the young man approaching her side.

“Excuse me, Miss?” the man addressed her.

She turned to him, nearly forgetting the Doctor’s strange behaviour. She was taken aback by his youthful features. Not young enough to be a boy but certainly not too old either. He appeared human, but so did many others who either were or simply used a type of cloaking device to possibly hide their true race from potential enemies.

“I was just wondering,” he continued shyly, “if you would do me the honour of sharing this dance with me. If it pleases you.” He looked towards the Doctor. “Of course, that is if you do not mind, sir?”

“Well, actually,” he started, trying not to show his infuriated demeanour over the sudden interruption between them. “We were just about to-”

“I’d love to.” She took the arm of the young man.

“Clara, we really should be going,” he insisted, attempting to lure her back to him.

“I’ll only be a minute! I’m sure you can ‘handle things in my stead,’” she replied, turning his own words against him.

Impossible woman! The Doctor attempted to remain unaltered by her unexpected leave of him. He removed himself from the crowd and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms in disapproval as he watched them from a distance. He could see the young man take her into his arms and pull her close to his chest. She appeared to be somewhat taken with him, laughing and smiling in his direction. He could feel himself becoming jealous but tried to ignore it. Of course she would feel an attraction, just look at him! He’s everything I’m not; young and handsome. While compared to him, I’m nothing but a frustrated emotionless old man.

He attempted to distract himself by continuing to observe the room around them. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe they were too late. Or just maybe there was nothing there for them to find. But why the brain scanners? What could be so crucial there to require them? And even more importantly, who sent him the glasses? Who had known he was going to be there on this exact night? His eyes drew back to his companion. The young man’s hand had found its way to her waist, her head rested just slight of his lapel. “Will this song never end?!” he mumbled to himself.

As he continued to watch them, he couldn’t help but think of the child developing inside of her. Was she aware of its presence? Could she feel it within her or was it simply too early to detect? The dreaded thought of how it came to be was secondary to his greatest concern, that the child was of Gallifreyan decent. The list of possible fathers was too short to deny being responsible for any part of it. But how had this happened? There must be some sort of an explanation, he thought. The song finally ended and the young pair made their way towards the refreshments.

“May I offer you something? Some champagne perhaps?” asked the young man.

“That would be lovely, thank you.” She watched him head towards the bar to attract the attention of the bartender.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” she heard the voice of the Doctor say behind her. Rolling her eyes, she turned around to face him. “My my, what a lovely couple you two are!” he added.

“Doctor,” she replied, now slightly annoyed with him.

“How old is he? Twelve? Thirteen? Ages, not my area.”

Ignoring his jealous comments, she decided to change the subject. “Did you find anything?”

“Oh, I thought we were here to dance and party!” Behind her, he saw the young man returning with two filled glasses in his hands. “And drink!”

“Champagne, for the lady,” the young man offered, handing her a glass.

“Thank you.” Accepting the glass from him, she raised it to toast the gentlemen.

“That other one must be for me then?” the Doctor asked the boy, his temper getting the better of him.

“Doctor!” she hushed him, lightly smacking his arm. “Behave.”

He watched her bring the glass to her lips. A sudden unexplainable protectiveness came over him as he removed the drink from her hand before she could take a sip. “No, I don’t think so. We wouldn’t want you to get all sloshy.” He handed the drink back to the young man. “Don’t let her appearance fool you. She’s a terrible drunk. Absolutely the worst! Now, if you’ll excuse us.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the confused man.

“That was incredibly rude,” she scolded.

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll forget all about you. Plenty of other sultry girls here to choose from.” He felt her rip her arm away from his grasp. Surprised, he turned around to see her face. He could only describe the look of shock and hurt in her eyes.

“Is that what you think of me then?” she asked as tears started to form at the brim of her eyes.

“No, of course not.” He realized he had let his jealousy take control of him. “Clara, I need to speak with you,” he implored, extending a hand towards her apologetically. After a moment, she wiped the tears from her eyes and took his hand. He took her to a less crowded area of the room and made sure there was no one listening in. He looked into her eyes, still damp from tears. He didn’t even know what to say or how to begin. He brushed the loosened hairs from her face and wiped the remaining tear still clinging to her cheek. “Clara, I-” he stopped himself and ran his fingers through his hair. Why is this so difficult? Just tell her! He sighed heavily and regained his thoughts. “Clara, I need to tell you something.” She did not reply, only gazed into his eyes awaiting his next words which only made it harder for him to speak. At last, he found the courage to tell her the truth. “This may be difficult for you to understand right now, but you… you’re-”

“Welcome guests to the Prima Nova Biannual Charity Auction Ball!” a woman suddenly shouted from the top of the stairs. The guests cheered and clapped at her entrance.

The Doctor was frozen in thought by the interruption. He knew that voice. It sent a cold chill of unavoidable fear down his spine. There was only one person he knew of who had power over him such as that. He glanced towards the sound of her voice hoping he was very wrong about the thoughts invading his mind.

“I’ll be your host this evening,” she continued, descending the stairs. “But you may call me... the Mistress.”

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 65)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count: 4392

Warnings: Language, enter Morgan Stark, confusion, polyamourous relationship (Bruce x OFC x Tony),  5 yrs explained, lying and deception, anger, yelling, swearing, making up Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone had gotten back to the cabin. You’d said hello to Tony, but Shannon’s daughter was nowhere to be seen. You saw Bruce for a fleeting moment but he was retreating when you saw him. Wade and Remy were inside with Tony, catching up, you assumed. 

They had explained to you exactly what happened and why they thought they had a chance now. Scott Lang, someone who you’d fought during the Accords, had theorized time travel. Tony, being the genius he was, had figured it out. 

You and Shannon were sitting out on the back porch of the cabin enjoying tea. 

“So, Y/N, where have you been all this time?”

You shrugged slightly as you answered, “You found me, or at least Wade did. You must have some idea…”

“I wasn’t sure if he was going to find you, to be honest. It always seemed like you were two steps ahead of me.”

“Imagine that, me beating the trained spy at evasion.” You smirked at the thought. Perhaps some of the tricks Loki had taught you regarding disappearing had paid off. “If you must know, I mainly toured Europe for a few months. Remy found me early on and we went exploring... in honor of Loki. After that we lived in New Orleans, started to build a life... it became too much so I kind of went rogue and then met up with Clint....” You left her to fill in the dark details before perking up and asking, “How about you? You’re out here in this paradise with Tony and apparently a child?”

“Yes you did manage to evade a spy. If I'd had the chance to go out and find you myself but then Morgan happened and with the ba---" 

Bruce walked up the steps with Morgan swinging on his arm. "Hey babe, hope I'm not interrupting." Bruce kissed her cheek. "Hey, Y/N. How you feeling?"

Your jaw dropped. You couldn’t help it. What...was going on here? Bruce and Morgan being close didn’t quite surprise you. Bruce was close with Shannon and Tony, but… Kissing Shannon on the cheek? What the hell was all that about?

"I’m a little bruised and worse for wear but... how.. are you?" You couldn’t tame your confusion. “This must be little Morgan," you said, trying to ignore your growing confusion, and focus on the little girl you had yet to meet. She had Tony’s hair, but Shannon’s eyes and nose. 

Morgan asked, “Mommy, who's she?” 

“This is Y/N, she's your aunt, the one I told you about?” Shannon explained as she pulled her close to her.

Morgan looked from her mother to you. “Hi there,” she greeted in a quiet voice, waving as she climbed into Shannon’s lap. 

This was absolutely surreal. Shannon was a mother? You had no doubt she was fantastic at it, but she had a five year old you didn’t know about? 

"This is Morgan, your niece. You’re probably wondering how this is even possible right?" Shannon asked, a bit of mischief in her voice and eyes. She was brushing her fingers through Morgan’s hair.

With Morgan around her, she was absolutely glowing. It suited her. It completed her. 

"Uh... yeah I thought... well I thought the Red Room removed... the possibility?" You were trying to delicately put it since a child was nearby, all while greeting Morgan physically by shaking her hand and smiling at her. 

Bruce noticed the confusion on your face. "I'll leave you three to talk." He kissed both Morgan and Shannon on the forehead. "Let me know when you're hungry, okay, kiddo?" 

“Okay,” she answered with a grin. 

"Well yeah, they did take away my ability to be able to but I was a step ahead I had someone be the holder for my eggs and Tony’s sperm. I knew what they were going to do and I knew in the future I might want kids so I had some eggs removed and stored for later.”

“So did you have Morgan the natural way or was she one of the eggs?”

“Once Tony and I moved into the cabin we figured we'd try to start a family and he knew I'd done this, so we found a way for me to get a uterus transferred into me and here we have Morgan.”

“That's really good. I'm happy for you. But I'm still a little confused on you and Bruce and Morgan. How does all that work?” you stressed. Your best friend having a child you didn’t know about was hard enough, but now it seemed like she was with Bruce too?

“Well Morgan is mine and Tony's child. Bruce is a whole other thing. Bruce is my partner. I wouldn't say husband because he and I aren't married.”

“So you and Tony and Bruce are all... Together? How did that happen? I can't imagine Tony letting you look at anyone, let alone be with anyone.”

“No he’s not like that. Yeah he gets jealous and after a round of fighting, those two settled things down and came to an agreement.”

“But.... how did that even come about? I mean I’ve known you have loved both for quite a while but how did the option of you being with both even get approached?”

She shrugged, as if it were simple. “We both trust Bruce and knew his intentions were pure and  by then I was already pregnant with Morgan.”

“You started... going together when you were pregnant? That's...crazy... “ You sat there completely dumbfounded at this news.

“Honestly after their fight, they went off somewhere to talk and came back and they told me that they would figure something out. And then Tony came to me and told me that if I wanted to be with Bruce I could.”

"Got the best of both worlds, huh?" you mused.

“I know this is all much to process. But I do have a question to ask, what are you going to do if we succeed and bring everyone back? What happens with you and Remy? Will you continue to be with him, Loki, or both?” She peered at you, carefully taking your response in.

Sucking in a breath, you answered, "I hadn't thought about it. When you said there was a chance... to be honest I stopped thinking about anything else and Loki came to mind. So... we'll just have to see." You sighed. This wasn’t a subject you were ready to address or even think about in the slightest. "I’m happy for you, Shannon though. I really am... Do you think we have a shot though?"

“I think we do. There’s a sure shot that it can go one of two ways and I'm keeping my mind on the positive. We'll be testing this theory soon. I have this gut feeling that things will turn out how we want. She touched her stomach but not in a way that it would make her baby bump noticeable. 

You narrowed your eyes. “I hope they do. I’d love to be involved in the testing if possible. I’m not sure if any of my physics knowledge can help, but I could try if you want.”

“I'm sure the boys would appreciate the help. And if you really want to test it out yourself go for it.”

------------------------

Few days passed and things were going well, at least Shannon thought so. She'd been able to hide her baby bump from you for a while but it was getting harder to do so. Both of her men told her she should tell you but she didn't know how you would react. Morgan was one thing. It had already been done, she was born, growing up - it was a done deal. But  being pregnant again, but another man? She felt like it would be rubbing it in your face that she was moving on and you were doomed to live in the past.

On the morning before the test run, Shannon had been in the kitchen. Everyone was busy and she tried to reach for a glass for her drink but her belly wasn't giving her space to do so. 

You were passing by the kitchen when you noticed Shannon was struggling to grab a glass. You giggled as you always thought it was cute how short she was. You decided to help her. You walked around the island and that’s when you realized something. She couldn't reach it because her belly was swollen.... She was pregnant.

A glass dropped from your hand as you gazed down at the bump. It had barely started to show but it was very real. The glass hit the counter then the floor, shattering everywhere.

"You.... you’re pregnant?" you gasped. “Why… Why would you keep that from me?” you wondered, shocked and hurt. 

“Y/N!” Shannon jumped back away from the broken glass. “You scared me.” She grabbed her hoodie and put it on.

“What’s the point in the hoodie, Shannon? I already saw it!” you stated hastily, anger in your voice. “What the hell? Why would you hide this?” 

Shannon was tugging at her hoodie. “You’re right, there’s no use in hiding it.” She lifted the sweater to touch her belly. “I didn’t want you to feel upset about this. I know just how much you wanted to start a family with Loki and it just seemed unfair to you.” 

At Loki’s name, you stiffened, not to mention the truth of her words. 

Just then all four men ran in and a little Morgan did too 

“What happened!?” Both Tony and Bruce yelled.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“Looks like someone’s getting too big to reach the top shelf,” Wade joked.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Remy asked, getting to your side.

You nodded, brushing him off. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” you gently assured. “Shannon?” you prompted again, ignoring nearly everyone else as you stared at her, pain snaking through you. 

Shannon was always in tune with your emotions, she could sense the anger trying to bubble so she let her calm powers wrap around you to not make things scary for Morgan’s sake. 

“Mommy’s fine, Morgan. Can you go with daddy please?” She pointed to Tony. “Y/N, let’s not make things be something they’re not.” She motioned to Morgan in the room. 

Your eyes quickly darted to Morgan. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt Morgan or anyone else, Shannon. Regardless of what I’ve been doing the last few years, I would never let that happen. I’ve gotten control over my powers, a lot better. None of this changes the fact that you hid your child from me. You’re pregnant and you haven’t had the decency to mention it to me? But you tried to tell me I wasn’t being a good sister?” 

“You left, Y/N! For five years! How was I supposed to tell you?” Shannon exclaimed. “It was so hard tracking you down. No one told you to go AWOL. You could have stayed here with Remy and been with family and friends and you would have gotten to see everything happen.” Her voice began to waiver so she stopped and took a deep breath. “When I needed you most, you were gone and with no way to locate you.”

Anger enveloped you, you were seething. “When you needed me most?” you stressed. “I needed you! I left because it was so god damn suffocating being around this. You have Tony, Bruce… everyone. You hardly lost anyone. I lost almost everyone and that grief was too much to process in the face of all this happiness. I couldn’t grieve in peace knowing all of you were happy, pressing on. When Thanos used the stones for the last time, and we lost, like really lost, I didn’t know what the hell to do, so I left. I’m sorry I missed the last five years, but clearly, you more than made up for it with a full life!”

It was Shannon’s turn to get angry. She'd kept this hidden long enough and she wasn't about to let this slide.

“My son was taken from me!” she screamed. She finally let it out and with it, the dam broke loose. “We lost our parents and sister too!”

You frowned, utterly lost. “You… What? Your son? Shannon, who the hell are you talking about?” you wondered. Had she gone mad? “Wait, wait, did you say that our parents are gone?” 

Three sets of parents were lost. Biological and both adoptive. Could it get much worse? 

“Jesus, Shannon, I thought they were still around,” you admitted. You swore she had called to check on them after the snap. 

“I called so many times that I got desperate and went by the house and everything was left as if they had just been doing something but they’re gone. You would have known that but you left. I know you lost a lot but wallowing in the grief was your choice. It’s one thing to lose a significant other but losing a child is above all else.” She wiped the tears off her cheek. “Peter still had his whole life ahead of him but there is no way to replace him. The only family I had left was Tony and you and you left me too.”

You shook your head in confusion. “What… What the fuck does Peter have to do with losing a son? Look, Shannon, I know you and Tony kind of had a soft spot for the kid, and we all miss him but…” 

“Language!” Tony yelled.

“Woah! Even I know not to be a potty mouth in front of the kid,” Wade said as he covered Morgan’s ears.

His words barely registered through you, except faint annoyance.

“You don’t get it do you, Y/N?” Shannon asked. “Peter is our biological son, not some kid we had a soft spot for,” she let out, feeling her knees wobble. 

Bruce instantly noticed and went to pick her up. “Come on, this is too much for you to handle right now.”

“I had no idea… You never told me. How was I supposed to know?” you asked, your voice volumes lower than it was before. “I’m sorry that you lost him, I truly am, but that doesn’t make lying to me about two of your children okay.”

“How could I? You were off the radar, no one knew where you were,” she said. “Tony and I had gotten to—-”

Bruce stopped her. “I think it’s best you rest for a bit before you get into this situation.” He walked out of the kitchen with Shannon in his arms.

“Friday, can you send one of the little bots to clean up the broken glass?” Tony asked the AI.

“Right away sir.”

You looked to Tony with an apology on your face for the glass. He waved it off with a half smile.

“Alright, you little munch,” Wade said as he swooped Morgan off the ground. “Let’s go back to the play house and finish our game, yeah?” 

“Yay! Let’s go now.” Morgan giggled as she’s swung about. Everyone was gone now except you, Tony, and Remy. The fight you just had with Shannon left you feeling like a hurricane just happened around you. 

You glanced to Tony. “Tony, I didn’t know,” you admitted softly. “You know if I knew, I never would’ve... How could she not tell me?” you asked, desperate. “She hid Peter from me, and now this other child she has on the way? Why? Does she not trust me? Am I not family enough?” 

“It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, Y/N, it’s that she doesn’t want to make you feel like you’ve missed out on things you could have done with Loki.” He walked over to you and put his arm around you. “She’s scared that you’ll leave again and this time she won’t be able to find you.” He led you to the living room where Shannon was resting. “Give her a chance to breathe and explain everything okay? We tried to convince her to tell you but you know how stubborn she can be.” He huffed and then patted your shoulder.

“I understand now, she might not trust me… But when Peter was born…” You shook your head. “I guess I’ll give her a chance to explain. It just hurts to think she’d hide the biggest events in her life from me.”

“I know it’s hard to think but our lives have been full of troubles that we couldn't control. there wasn't a moment for us to sit down and unload everything,” he told her and then walked away.

As everyone left the room, you couldn’t help but look around and feel the twinge of envy. Shannon’s life was full. She may have lost Peter, her sister, and her parents, but you lost Loki, Stephen, Charles, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Logan… You were friends with Tony and Steve, sure, but they were Shannon’s, not yours. Tony was Shannon’s husband, and she had him. Steve was her best friend, and she had him. Nat was her best friend, and she had her. Bruce was her boyfriend, and she had him. Now, she had children, two partners, all of her friends, a little slice of hidden paradise. 

You had Remy, and that was great. And you knew you could always come home to Shannon, but ultimately, lining your life up side by side with Shannon’s - one was full of life, love, vibrancy, and one wasn’t. 

You turned to Remy. “She’s got such a full life, even without me,” you noted sadly before looking up at him. “I wonder if she really even needs me.” 

Shannon was the only family you had left. Thor hadn’t talked to you in years, and your biological parents, Frigga, and Odin were dead. Shannon’s parents, your parents, had vanished. 

“Of course she does,” he assured.

“I’m not so sure,” you responded. “She has everyone, and everything she ever wanted…” 

“Chere,” Remy started with a sigh, “family isn’t like money. You can’t spend it and get more to replace it. You mean a great deal to her, and she you. You’re irreplaceable. She might have kids and all these friends, but so do you. You still have Shannon, you have me. I know for a fact you’re friends with Stark and Rogers. You gotta stop focusin’ on what you lost, and remember what you still have.” 

You nodded. He was right. You didn’t like it. It hurt. But ultimately, he was right. It was about quality, not quantity.

-------------------

Bruce and Shannon were sitting on the couch. He had made sure that her vitals were back to normal and that the baby wasn’t affected. Soon enough, you walked over to where they were and sat opposite them so that you could have a moment to speak. 

“I’m going to see if the glass got picked up, then make sure Wade isn’t corrupting our little girl.” He kissed her forehead.

“Sure thing, I’ll shout if I need anything.” “I’m ready to listen, if you’re ready to tell me about Peter,” you gently informed before clearing your throat.

“Where do I even begin?” she stretches out on the couch.

You notice she was not wearing the hoodie anymore.

“A good place to start would be when you had Peter? He’s over half your age and I think I would’ve noticed you being pregnant in college, or during New York, or during prison…” 

“Well all this happened way after college but right before New York,” she said hoping to clear up the when. “When I was in the Red Room program, the final part was having my uterus removed or else I was killed, so I  had some eggs removed before it could be done to me.” She stopped so that this can be processed.

You slowly responded, “Okay.”

“I had about 10 eggs removed and stored for the future if I ever wanted kids.” She explained how life went on like you knew it up until the time that the battle of New York happened. “Tony and I had gotten pretty serious and that's when I came clean and told him about my situation and he started searching for uterus transplants but I wasn't ready to get my hopes up like that you know?”

“Right, of course,” you agreed.

“Tony was understanding so we had a doctor combine our genetics from the egg and the sperm and I was making changes so that the baby would be healthy and with a few of my abilities but something went wrong and it gave him his super strength, the sticky feet thing, and his growth was modified. From there we asked May if she knew anyone who would be willing to be a surrogate and she said she would.”

All you could do was nod as you took this in. 

“Then New York happened and we didn't want to risk Peter being caught up in this so we asked May to watch over him until it blew over but things never got better after that and by then Peter had grown up and we didn't want to mess with how his life was.” She took a break. It was hard to say this, the only people who knew the truth were her, Tony, and Bruce and now she was telling you.

“But he… If he was sixteen when he was… at the snap, how is it possible that you had him in 2012?” Most of this made sense, but you were becoming somewhat confused. 

“The age modifier that I had accidentally given him was like a growth spurt that makes him both physically and mentally older but his true age is still young.” 

Your head bobbed side to side, contemplating this. 

“Then we found out he was Spider-man and things changed. We wanted to protect him at all costs and this gave us a chance to get to know him and start a connection so we could find a way to tell him the truth and then Thanos happened and we lost him and our shot of regaining the years we lost.” Shannon had been rubbing her belly and she wasn't looking at you anymore. She didn't want to cry again thinking of him.

“Oh, Shan, I’m so sorry,” you apologized as you reached over and squeezed her knee.

“That's why Tony was so distraught when Peter turned to dust in his arms.” She held your hand. “As for Morgan, after everything, we found a chance for a uterus transplant and we prayed things would work out and it gave us Morgan and a chance to restart.” She smiled, looking over to you and pointing to the picture of Tony holding little Morgan. “And this is miracle babies Number 2 and 3 that is mine and Bruce’s. We haven’t announced the genders yet, I’ve wanted to tell you but you weren’t here and if you came back I was scared that you’d leave again and for good.” Her smile slipped a little thinking that would still happen.

“That’s fair,” you assessed with a bob of your head. “I’m not going to leave again, Shannon. I missed all of you like crazy and to be honest, I’m not upset that you’re surrounded by happiness and love. I’m just upset that I don’t have that. That I miss so many people.” You chewed your lip, toying with your fingers, avoiding her gaze. “See, I dwelled in the past. It wasn’t until just before Wade found me that I’d made the choice to move on. I accepted the fact that nobody was coming back. I grieved, not just for Loki, but for my friends, our friends, the universe’s population. Between believing I didn’t deserve a happy ending and grieving everyone, I couldn’t even see a light at the end of the tunnel until a few days ago. So then I show up here, and you’re just having babies and picking out cabins and shit. It almost looked like to me you didn’t grieve at all. You took no time to mourn for any of the losses that took place.” You shook your head. “That’s why I got mad. Not that you’re happy or that I can’t have it or whatever. But that it looked almost like you didn’t give a fuck that we lost because your life could go on with Tony, Bruce, all your friends and kids…” 

Shannon slowly nodded. She didn’t realize it looked that way. She mourned, of course she did. She just didn’t want to squander away any time she had left. She was lucky to get Tony back and she wanted to make the most of it. 

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking down. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. I just thought it was kind of rubbing it in your face, that’s why I didn’t mention being pregnant.” 

You shook your head, waving her worries off. “I’ll always be happy for you. We took two different paths to cope with the same problem. You decided not to waste any of the time you have left, because life is short and precious. The snap made that more than fucking clear.” You let out a breath. “I left, and Remy and I built a life and after a while, I wasn’t sure I could come back here, and I was filled with so much bitter rage and I needed to take it out on people. I wasn’t sure if there was a place for me anymore, or if I had gone too far to the dark side that you’d want me to stay away. I am happy for you, I really am. I just wish I had the same opportunity is all. And I know I self-jeopardized that when I ran away, but I also know it was cathartic and I needed it. You needed your space to build your family in peace, and I needed my space to grieve.” You gave her a sad smile. “I just hope you can forgive me.” 

“Y/N, you know your points are valid and I'm always going to forgive you, you’re my sister and there’s no one else I’d rather want to share my life with.”

The two of you smiled and hugged. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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UC: @lokis-high-priestess

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Beauty and the Beast Ch.3 (Bucky x Reader)

Next chapter is here and I’m finishing up the next chapter of “His Shooting Star”. Hope you guys like it!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Warnings: Cussing is always a thing in my chapters, but I try to keep it tame. 

Summary: It took the kingdom of Hydra five years to finally take advantage of the disappearance of the Stark Kingdom. It took Prince Brock two weeks to make the small, unprotected village of Marveline hate his existence. His ways left Captain Rogers to go looking for help, hoping to find a royal family that could protect the people. But what happens when he hasn’t come back? It’s up to Bucky to find out what happened to his best friend and the royal siblings, but he never expected what’s to come.

Chapter Three

It had been a week since Bucky had traded places with Steve. It had been a week since he had given up his freedom to play prisoner for a royal beast. It had been a week of being left alone with no one to talk to, with no one to keep him company.

Bucky had forgotten how much he loathed isolation.

Wandering the long halls, he started to think about the beast that ruled this castle. Y/N. The name was different. It sounded different in his head and on his tongue and yet there was a sense of familiarity to it. He just didn’t understand why. But after blatantly saying no to lunch and dinner three days in a row, she seemed less interested in reaching out to him. That meant he lost track of the hours. He didn’t know when food was served or anything. They practically ignored his existence.

So now he was wandering with a growling stomach tugging at his attention. He needed to eat something. He needed to find the kitchen and then he needed to eat something.

“What were you expecting to happen? You know how she is and trying to play last minute matchmaker never worked out for you. Even when you were human!”

The sound of a new voice made Bucky slow his strides. It was female. Not Rhodey or Sam. How had he been here a week already and yet hadn’t met anyone else? Leaning against the wall, he was curious what else he could learn.

“I was just trying to help. We’re running out of options.”

“What if there aren’t any more options, Sam? Can’t you be satisfied with that?”

“No! Of course I can’t! It’s not only about her. There’s a castle full of servants and people that don’t deserve to live their lives as…objects.”

“They don’t or you don’t?”

“Shut up, Wanda.”

“Hey, um…” A new voice — a boy’s. Perhaps a teenager? “The big guy is listening to you from the door.”

“Bucky?”

At the sound of Sam calling him, Bucky rounded the corner and stood in the doorway. What he hadn’t expected to see speaking to the candelabra was a large, porcelain teapot. He assumed this was Wanda. Next to her was a smaller teacup with a chip at the very top. Bucky couldn’t help, but be curious what his name was.

“What are you doing here, Bucky? We haven’t seen you leave your room since…” Sam faltered, shrugging. “Well, since Y/N showed it to you.”

“I —“ His stomach interrupted him, the low rumble of its discontent and hunger being heard by everyone.

The teacup snickered. “He’s hungry!”

Oh, how Sam wished Y/N was here. He’d give anything for that stubborn woman to see the sheepish look on Bucky’s face. He’d give anything for his princess to have a conversation with this man that didn’t end in them trying to one up one another. But unfortunately, she wasn’t here and the odds of that conversation happening weren’t looking great. 

“Well, if he’s hungry, let’s get him something to eat.”

“I don’t need much. Just some water and a sandwich or something,” Bucky rushed out, his words running into one another. He scratched the back of his neck, strands of hair falling free from the bun and shielding his face.

“That’s not happening,” Wanda told him. “Peter, get some food put together for our guest.”

“I’m not a guest.”

The look Wanda gave him was enough for Bucky to wish he had only thought the words instead of voicing them. She had that motherly look. It reminded him of Steve’s mom and all the lectures she gave him and Steve during their youth. “You certainly aren’t a prisoner, so you aren’t going to eat like one.” Wanda’s voice tore him from his thoughts. “If you were, we’d send Vis to make you food.”

Sam snickered, shaking his head. “Believe me. You don’t want that. No one deserves that kind of punishment.”

Bucky found himself smiling at their kindness. When was the last time someone other than Steve was nice to him simply for the sake of being nice? “Thank you,” he murmured before hearing the clatter of a plate.

“Let’s not get Y/N’s attention,” Rhodey snapped as he entered the room. “You know how she barely sleeps as is.” Realizing Bucky was in the room, Rhodey instantly regretting his words. He probably should have been more careful.

“We’re getting something for Bucky to eat,” Wanda explained. He noticed how she was beaming a little brighter than she had been the past few days, but decided not to comment. Perhaps Bucky could bring some light to their home.

“Here ya go.” The sound of Peter’s voice made Bucky turn. He had been so focused on the new voices, the new people to talk to, that he hadn’t realized how large the kitchen actually was. There were two large tables in the center of the room, spanning the length and leaving room to spare. Lining every wall were shelves. Some had herbs, others had plates and cups. There were jars filled with unidentifiable things and even a few spices here and there. Tucked away on the opposite side of the room he noted that there was a large stove and a thick door. No doubt, on the other side of the door was the cold room filled with things like meat.

Shifting his gaze, Bucky looked back to the table where Peter had set up a plate filled with leftovers. It was radiating heat, filled with corn and carrots, a couple pieces of bread, what looked to be boar meat, and something else he hadn’t seen before. “How’d you put this together so fast?” he asked, looking at Peter curiously.

“We’ve been waiting to see how long it’d take you to visit.” Bucky glanced at Sam, confused. Why did they care? And that still didn’t explain the food.

Rhodey seemed to notice his confusion and elaborated, “Peter’s a little overeager. Boy’s been making a plate of food for you every night just incase you came by.”

Bucky chuckled and looked at Peter. “Thanks, kid.”

“Thanks for calling me a kid. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve actually missed it.”

Bucky frowned at that, taking a bite of his food before he asked, “How long have you been like this?” He looked at all of them, his eyes scanning the room. “And how many of you are…”

“Cursed?” Wanda asked, amusement lacing her voice. A moment of silent passed. It seemed they were all debating whether that was information worth divulging. “Too long.” 

Her answer made him feel sick. He wanted to know the story. Bucky wanted to ask all the questions and understand what made this happen. Each of these people had stories and lives, something they wanted for the future. They had something or even several things that made them tick. How did they get cursed? What made it happen?

Who made it happen?

“Do you want some more?”

Bucky jumped, startled from his thoughts once again. It seemed almost too easy for him to get lost nowadays. He looked to Peter then to his empty plate. Had he really finished it so quickly? 

“Aw, look! Big man’s ears are all pink. He’s blushing,” Sam teased.

Bucky shot him a glare, ready to say something, but he stopped himself when Peter made his way to get the man more food. “You don’t have to —“

“Nonsense. Do you know how long it’s been since we got the opportunity to help someone? Someone who willingly participated in a conversation with us?” Wanda hopped over to him and nudged his hand gently. “This is our way of thanking you.”

“But I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve come out of your room. You’re talking to us.”

“And,” Sam added. “Judging by the look on your face, you’re actually interested in how all of this happened.”

“Don’t go getting any ideas,” Rhodey snapped, crossing his arms. “That is not our story to tell.”

“Isn’t it?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. Clearly curiosity was getting the best of him.

“No,” Sam begrudgingly agreed. “It isn’t.”

“Then how am I supposed to comprehend any of this?” Bucky felt something nudge his hand and looked down, surprised to see another plate of food. How was Peter able to move so fast? 

“Have you thought about talking to Y/N and asking her?”

“Rhodey, come on now, Bucky doesn’t have the confidence to go talk to her,” Sam teased. He barely jumped up fast enough to avoid the swing of Bucky’s hand. “Rude!”

He huffed, ducking his head behind his hair as he grumbled, “I don’t have any interest in talking to some royal brat.”

“Someone has a problem with authority figures.”

“Rogers said you’re a soldier,” Rhodey said, brow of gold furrowing in confusion. “So —“

“I was. Past tense.”

Silence fell in the room as Bucky went back to eating his food. Clearly he wasn’t so open to discussion regarding his history. He wasn’t Steve and judging by the way they glanced at each other, Bucky managed to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Steve liked being distracted from the now. He enjoyed talking about the old days because he still felt drawn to them. He had no ties to the village or a calm life. Not unless Bucky was a part of it. 

Clearing his throat, Sam asked Bucky, “Would you like a proper tour? It might help with adjusting to the whole thing.”

“I want to help!”

Sam and Bucky glanced at Peter and, in all honesty, Bucky was actually amused by the little teacup…boy. He reminded him of his little sister, Rebecca. Clenching his jaw, he picked at his food. Rebecca had been a scar he hadn’t thought about in a long time. He went out of his way to avoid her. 

Closing his eyes, he took three slow breaths. In and out. In and out. In and… “Where do we start?”

Peter was more than eager to fill the silence of the tour, telling Bucky about everywhere and everything they came across. If there was a painting hung on the wall, Peter somehow remembered who painted it, why it was here, and what it meant to whichever sibling had purchased it. So far, the only thing that interested Bucky was learning that Y/N had a sibling. 

His mind drifted to the walls. There was so much unnecessary art. He noticed the long lines of armor lined on either side and wondered whether they were alive or merely decoration. Were they cursed or a means for the royal family to show off? 

Finally tuning back in to his tour guides, he listened to Sam. “Up the stairs is the East Wing and —“

“East Wing?” Bucky slowed his steps and looked to the grand staircase. It was tall and broke off in two different directions — east and west. That little itch appeared in the back of his brain, wondering what it possibly was that Y/N was hiding up there. What secrets could she possibly be keeping?

“Don’t even think about it, Buck. She gave you one rule, remember?” Sam looked up at him. “Just follow it. Please.”

Peter noticed the way Bucky wanted to argue. However, he was the kid in the situation. He shouldn’t have an opinion. He really shouldn’t even say anything. Still… “Um…there’s a lot more to the castle you have to see, Bucky.” He earned his attention. Thank god. 

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s the gardens! And we have the dining room and ball room and there’s the armory and —“ Peter swore he saw Bucky’s eyes glaze over with every addition to the list. He looked impossibly bored. Lamely, he finished, “There’s the library.”

His ears perked, eyes shining that bright, curious blue. “That’d be something to see.”

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as Peter perked up. The kid obviously felt accomplished. “Then to the library,” Sam announced. He followed the overly eager Peter, the two of them leaving soft thuds echoing through the hall with every hop they took.

But Bucky was much quieter than the pair.

He ducked to the side, silently moving up the stairs. Glancing to the hall, he smirked as their voices became a low echo. They didn’t even notice he decided his own destination was a little more interesting. 

Bucky wasn’t sure what he expected, but dark and gloomy wasn’t in the top three or even the top ten. He wandered the halls, the eery quiet enough to send a chill down his spine. Goosebumps covered his skin as he passed by the broken windows. Multiple panes were shattered with glass shards left on the floor. He was careful to step around, not wanting to alert any one of his presence due to a simple misstep. 

Lifting a tattered curtain out of his way, he ducked out of the moonlight and back into the shadows. Why was the place so destroyed? And why did Y/N want to keep him out of it? Surely this place didn’t serve any importance to anyone in the castle. Another step and he found himself in a new room. Broken pieces of furniture littered the floor and a slashed painting took up most of the wall to his left. Raising an eyebrow, he tried to see the details. It looked deliberately destroyed and the moonlight was barely bright enough to give him a good look at it.

Where was Peter and his memory now?

Huffing softly, Bucky lifted one of the larger tears and noticed how, when it met the one above, the image formed a portrait. Y/E/C stared at him, peering through his very soul. The color looked familiar and warm, but he couldn’t place where he’d seen those eyes before. Shifting his gaze, he was met with the kindest, most open and honest smile he’d ever seen. He’d never seen such a look from anyone and yet it was captured in a portrait of all things.

Who was this woman?

Bucky’s curiosity was pulled from the portrait when he noticed a warm glow coming from out of the corner of his eye. He looked away, his brow furrowing when there was nothing there. Odd until he saw its reflection had come from a broken mirror. Turning his head, he noticed the balcony where most of the moonlight was coming in. Nearby was the only piece of furniture that wasn’t broken. A small wooden table. In the center of it was a glass dome and inside — a floating black and red rose. He walked closer, feeling almost entranced by the glow coming from the flower. Circling the table, he noticed how there was a bit more black than there was red. Why? 

Lifting the dome, he set it to the side and crouched in front of the magical flower. His mind was racing with questions. Was this connected to the curse? Why were the petals black? Was this the significance of the East wing? One little rose? He reached out, his fingers lightly touching the black stem. It was so dark. Such a light, hopeful glow was coming from such a dark little thing. Bucky didn’t understand it. 

He wanted to.

“What are you doing in here?”

He jumped, pulling his hand away from the rose and spinning around. Y/N stood before him, blocking his exit. Her looming figure was covered in her cloak, the rest of her shrouded in shadows. Claws clung to the doorframe, splintering the wood when she saw the dome was removed. “I—“

“Get out.” Her gaze shifted to him and Bucky felt his stomach clench. Her eyes were filled with hatred, anger, and fear. Fear? He swallowed when he noticed the color of her eyes, the back of his mind drifting back to that portrait. Y/E/C stared at him with such animosity. “Are you deaf?” She stepped forward, glass cracking underneath her feet. “I said leave.”

Y/N ripped her claws out of the wall, knocking the mirror in his direction. Bucky quickly jumped out of the way, knocking into the table with a grunt. She lunged towards the table, towards him, and Bucky stumbled back. Catching the table before the dome fell, a low growl rumbled through her chest. A snarl curled her lips as she used the utmost care in covering the flower. “Leave, Bucky,” she muttered. “Now.”

Pushing the small bit of fear aside, he stepped forward and asked, “What is that?”

Y/N spun on him, snapping at him with her fangs. She rose to her full height, towering over him and covering him in her overwhelming shadow. “I said,” she snarled. “Get out!” Claws gleamed in the moonlight, making him flinch.

Bucky froze. His mind flashed to Hydra, to men breaking him down and beating any sense of humanity out of him. He remembered the cells and being prisoner. He remembered constantly living in fear. Spinning on his feet, he quickly ran out of the room. Glass crunched underneath him, but he paid it no mind. All he could think about was his racing heart, his quickened breath, and the sinking pit in his stomach. He had to get out of here. 

Y/N watched him leave, eyes wide when she realized her mistake. A large hand covered her face as she closed her eyes tightly. She screwed up. Royally.

Racing down the stairs, he stumbled around Sam and Peter. “Bucky!” Sam’s voice was distinct, but fell on deaf ears. “Bucky, wait!”

Running ahead, Bucky’s feet echoed in the halls as he approached the massive doors. He pushed it open, grunting from the unexpected fight against the outside wind and snow. Glancing back, he saw the fear and panic that crossed Peter’s and Sam’s faces.

“Mr. Bucky?” Peter’s voice made him falter.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not staying here.” He shifted his gaze to the stairs. “I can’t stay here with that thing.”

Bucky opened the door more, a flurry of snow coming inside as he slipped out. The door closed with a loud thud, leaving the two in the empty hall. Peter blinked away unshed tears. “S-Sam? What do we do?”

Sam grimaced, shaking his head. “There’s nothing we can do, kid.”

-----

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[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Wasn’t gonna do a 5x11 post, but ya know what? It was a good one, and it’s fun to talk about stuff ya like.

SPOILERS.

Folks this one is LONG:

Admittedly, I don’t really understand what Brainy did with the rock and the stick, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because we get Motorcycle Brainy.

I appreciate that nearly every character on this show has the impulse to go out and get a black Stealth Outfit and procure a motorcycle whenever they gotta do clandestine, under-cover stuff. (See also: Lucy, Kara, Alex, J’onn.)

ALSO appreciate the ongoing commitment to characters showing they care via food, as seen in the Breakup Feast scene. 

I’ve seen this episode four times and it’s only JUST occurring to me that Lex is grabbing some of Evil!Winn’s hair and not just creepily picking lint off his shirt, after their little chat.

Lena Laments to Lex! Lost Lots of Lobe Legwork.

And then NAT CITY TOY CON! 

Lex’s action figure is safe for children ages 5 and up, AND the articulation allows for lots of action and superhero poses!

(That thing has NO visible leg or arm joints, Lex will not be doing ANY action posing, whatsoever. XD)

But, for real: It’s a pretty great prop. The packaging is spot on. 

Love all the Supergirl action figures in the background too. (AND WITH THE NEW SUIT I am envious of Earth Prime.)

Get ‘im William, GET ‘IM.

The Lex and Kara scene was GREAT, loved the recorder smash.

Then dramatic slow walk with wiiiiiind, very nice.

CAPE SAVE

WINN

Absolutely love the moment between him, Alex, and Kara when he reveals he has a family. 

AND HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER ARE LOVELY. THAT KIDDO IS SO CUTE.

Group huuuuuuug

‘I might have missed you just a little bit.’ ‘Me too, just a little.’ ‘Yeah, well, I missed you, like, A LOT.’

Side note: Really dig Winn’s superhero outfit. 

“I wanted to apologize to you, for how I treated you after you took my mother’s medallion.”

*Skeptical Thor face* Is it really hers though?

(Answer: No.)

Okay OKAY now we get to the REALLY GOOD PART but first, a bit of appreciation for Winn referencing Sam Spade.

Alright, are we ready? ARE WE READY????

J’onn’s office (which is ALREADY a cool set) gets a SECRET ELEVATOR that leads tooooo...

THE TOWwait, whoops, almost forgot:

Kara’s total nerd reaction to the secret elevator and Alex’s elder sibling-ly ‘don’t push’ while actually pushing Winn are just. *chef’s kiss*

Okay, we’re back: THE TOWER!!!!!

Complete with PAPA BEAR HUG for Best Son Winn!

I like J’onn’s Martian vest, though I do feel like he should get some finger-less gloves, or something, to complete the look.

“In the future they call it the Hall of Justice.” “I like that.”

“So like STAR Labs.” “Or the Arrow Bunker.” “A place where my Superfriends can work, whenever they should need it.” 

1.) I don’t know why the casual references to the other shows are throwing me, it’s not like they haven’t done it before...maybe it’s the fact that characters besides Kara have this kind of...lived-in familiarity with this stuff that’s otherwise been reserved for her, due to the nature of JUST the lead visiting the other shows. 2.) It occurs to me that Supergirl, the show, never had a central hub like the Arrow Bunker or Star Labs that’s just for the main characters. (Well, I guess the Office of Solitude counts? Kind of?) All of the sets (aside from Kara’s Loft and J’onn’s office which are like...living spaces) require at least a handful of extras milling around in the background. I don’t know where I was going with this....*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat. 3.) J’onn calling them his Superfriends!!!! :D

“What are you gonna call it?” “I was thinking...The Tower.” “COOL.”

Kara you lovable nerd, you.

The cut from the Martian Memory Meld to Winn’s puking is comedic gold.

“And James runs a small town newspaper and mentors children? That’s adorable!”

You can tell who’s only watching the show via gifs, because this line threw them.

Alex being like, ‘BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.’ XD

Evil!Winn’s message has Jim Carrey Riddler energy. I think it’s that ‘Let’s play to win!’ bit that does it.

Aaaand some other stuff occurs. Lex and Brainy talk, The Kara and William stuff at CatCo, Evil!Winn’s warehouse lair.

But then BACK TO THE TOWER for more nerding out and some lovely heart-to-hearts!

Winn telling Nia about Nura: :D :D :D

And then OOOOOH BOY, my favorite scene: Kara and Winn.

It starts off great, with Kara being like, ‘I bet you’re a great dad.’ And then Winn gets to talk about being a dad! And naming his little girl after his mom! ‘It was either that or Winifred.’ Heart AND humor??? AND THEN: “KARA WAS AN OPTION.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW

BUT THEN WINN’S LIKE, ‘EVERYONE IN THE FUTURE NAMES THEIR KID KARA’ HECK YEAH THEY DO

 And then the scene continued to be great but I will admit that I was gripped with a sudden, terrible fear that when Kara mentioned not being too thrilled with her ‘legend’ she was gonna talk about how she betrayed Lena yet again but THANK GOODNESS IT WASN’T THAT.

Instead what we got was this nice little exchange about Kara feeling like she’s endangering William, and Winn being like: ‘you put ME in danger but I always trusted you to protect me’ which is a LOVELY bit of trust and reassurance and a nice deconstruction of the idea that heroes have to distance themselves from others in order to best protect them. Supergirl the TV show has always said and will always say NOPE.

STRONGER TOGETHER.

“Being in your orbit...it’s inspiring.” “You.”

I JUST LOVE KARA HAVING THEM THERE GOOD FRIENDSHIPS.

Then Wicked Winn’s Warehouse! Followed By Lex on a Legion Ship! Learning of Leviathan!

The Obsidian pitch sounds TOTALLY legit, can’t IMAGINE how that could be exploited for evil.

Then Toyman’s Terrible Tigers! Which Brainy Tries to Tame! 

And, look. You’re either the kind of person that watches these DCTV shows and rolls your eyes at on-the-nose music cues, ooooor you’re the kind of person that applauds that kind of go-for-broke attitude.

I am one of the latter.

(BUT it’s always just gonna be...really hard to top The Flash using “Flash Gordon” as Barry jumps into a black hole.)

ANYWAYS.

Always cool to see Kara speed folks away from danger. Very nice!

Whoops, little out of order here, I got excited: prior to the super speed, we have a Winn Stand-off.

(NGL the mental image of Winn singing “Nothing Left to Lose” with his evil counterpart has been amusing me all week long.)

But I digress! Toyman seems to perish in the explosion, but given that this is a two part episode...HMMMM. I think NOT.

(I mean, there’s also the end of episode cliffhanger, so. Yeah, obvious guess is obvious.)

But for the moment, Winn’s future is safe! Yaaaaay!

Then we get the cute moment between Kara and William and YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID CUTE. BECAUSE IT WAS CUTE.

So please put me firmly in camp: Generally indifferent to ships but certainly not opposed to more cute reporter shenanigans.

(Also she wouldn’t let him have dinner alone with the world’s saddest sandwich.) 

Instead William gets to come to GAME NIGHT!

Everything about that scene is. So good.

The friendly trash-talking! The glasses bit! ‘Marty’! William saving the Jenga tower for Kara! Space Dad being there! 

(Oh, forgot another scene in my haste to rejoice over game night. Winn and Brainy. T’was good.)

(Oh, no, forgot another one: LENA HAS Q-WAVES. THE GOL-DANG MIND CONTROL PLOT CONTINUES.)

And then there’s the cliffhanger and the next episode preview WHICH I’m absolutely looking forward to because MORE WINN and also KARA AND WILLIAM GET TO SING “AFRICA”.

WHICH...thank you, show, for giving us “Africa” after revealing that was Kara’s other choice, but she went with “Intergalactic” back innnnn...season...three? Well the reveal was in season four. But karaoke night proper was in season three. And “Intergalactic” was great! But. 

COME ON.

IT’S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAAAAAAY FROM YOOOOOOOOOU

Anyways. Wonderful episode! A true season highlight! David did such a good job! EVERYONE did such a good job! This fandom is the worst! And I hope that they actually DO stop watching the show, because it will be better for their emotional well-being and mental health, as well as our own!

[welcometophu]

Into the Split: Reinforcements 5

Twinned Book 3: Into the Split

Reinforcements 5

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More people drift in throughout Saturday. Alaric is kept busy greeting newcomers and making introductions, while Pawel, Alia, and a small group of Mages from New Hampshire and Burlington stay in a side room to explain and re-explain the situation to the new arrivals. After a time, Mac joins them, popping in and out to get refreshments and make sure Pawel stays steady.

Chris sticks close by Alaric’s side, one hand always on Alaric’s back or arm, low and steady. When Alaric grumbles too loudly, Corbin swoops in to take over, Drea joining him as Alaric and Chris disappear.

Disappearing sounds like a great idea. Nikolai and Seth head up the stairs as well, turning the opposite direction to head into the guest wing while Alaric drags Chris into the family wing. From the sound in the hall, they don’t make it to Alaric’s room before there’s a low growl and someone thumps back against a wall.

That also sounds like a great idea, although Nikolai wouldn’t mind a little less violence involved.

As soon as he and Seth are in their room, Nikolai’s already stripping and Seth grins as he climbs into the bed. It’s a nice way to spend some time and recover from the crowds. Seth grounds him, and Nikolai hopes he does the same for Seth.

Hours pass, and darkness starts to creep into the room as Nikolai’s stomach growls. Finding food would mean leaving this space and braving the crowds again. He burrows closer to Seth and tugs the blanket up over them both, cocooning in the warmth and darkness.

A sharp rap on the door, and it’s opened immediately after. Corbin pokes his head in. “Thorne’s going to light things on fire. We have beer.”

“I locked that,” Nikolai says, emerging from the blankets to glare at him.

Corbin twists the knob and it turns easily. “Guess not,” he replies. “My point is, we’re having a bonfire and if you don’t want to be left behind when we head to the place, get your asses outside. It’s a great view, maybe a mile walk or so.” He starts to close the door, then pushes it back open again. “The other point is, nobody’s going to just stumble on us once we get there. Which means yes, it’s a chance to get away from the crowds and hang out with a smaller group of people.”

He closes the door with a thunk, but his footsteps don’t go far. A moment later, there’s another rap further down the hall, and Corbin starts talking again.

“I can be ready to rejoin the world.” Seth pushes the blankets down, untangling them from his feet. He rolls over and plucks his shirt from the floor, dragging it over his head. His hair is a mess, sticking out in every direction; Nikolai’s not sure it can be tamed. It’s not the only part of them that’s a mess, either.

“We probably need a shower,” he says, grabbing for the hem of Seth’s shirt.

Another rap against the door, but it stays closed this time. “If you’re planning on showering, make it quick,” Drea calls out. “If I see you heading to the showers, we’ll wait, otherwise we’re leaving.”

Seth rolls out of bed, grabbing their towels from the back of a chair. He tosses one to Nikolai before wrapping one around his own waist. “Give us five minutes,” he calls back as he opens the door.

Drea wrinkles her nose, huffing an almost silent laugh. “We’ll give you fifteen,” she says. “Go get cleaned up.”

When they finally make it downstairs, it’s a smaller group that Nikolai expects. Dax and Nate are back from wherever they went. Their hair is wet as if they’ve freshly showered, but Nikolai didn’t seem them in the baths upstairs. Alaric seems more relaxed than he did earlier, glancing up from his conversation with Corbin when they emerge, then going back to it just as earnestly. Chris chats with Dax and Nate, while Cass watches nearby. Trish, Sera, Rory and Kit, Stormy, and Dayton all round out the group. It’s still larger than makes Nikolai happy, but it’s more reasonable, as long he doesn’t have to deal with Dayton’s constant quiet stare.

There’s no rush to get to the location, and they meander down a pathway behind the house that Nikolai thinks might lead to somewhere near the river. They’ve already been walking a while when Nikolai realizes someone’s missing. “Where’s Thorne? You said he was going to light a fire.”

Rory makes a noise. “Doing something.”

“Or someone,” Stormy says cheerfully. “Probably someone. I have a lighter, so we don’t need his Talent for making flames. We’ll handle it old school, and if anything gets out of hand, I’ll just rain on it to put it out.”

“We will still have a bonfire, never fear,” Corbin assures them, ducking between Nikolai and Seth, sliding his arms through theirs. “I promised a quiet night and relaxation, and I will deliver.”

“How’s it going to be quiet with you there?” Alaric rumbles.

Corbin squawks and lets go, disappearing in a flurry of feathers as he flies up and lands on Alaric’s head in raven form. He pecks lightly at Alaric’s head, while Drea laughs.

The mood is far lighter than it was earlier.

The walk takes longer than Corbin implied, but when they arrive, it’s worth it. They’ve gone past the swimming hole, Nikolai thinks, circling back somewhat as the path went uphill, and they’ve emerged at the top of a small cliff and waterfall. Water cascades beneath them down into the small river, flowing back towards the house. It creates a natural background noise, and it sets Nikolai at ease.

True to her word, Stormy quickly sets up the fire and gets it roaring. Bags are unpacked, bringing out chairs, blankets, pillows, and small tables with food. Seth claims one of the oversized chairs, pulling Nikolai down to sit with him in it. They’re squeezed in, but it’s not uncomfortable.

When someone presses a red cup into his hand, filled with liquid that smells yeasty and bitter, Nikolai accepts it and takes a cautious sip. He wrinkles his nose; it’s… darker… than he expects. He can’t really think of a word for it, but the second sip isn’t as bad as the first. Bitter, definitely. Maybe a little fruity, too, he isn’t exactly sure. He passes it to Seth, who takes a long gulp, obviously liking it better than Nikolai did.

“We have beer, hotdogs, and s’mores for later,” Drea calls out. “Tonight it’s cook your own food over the fire, grab yourself a bun, and feel free to drink and eat as much as you want.”

Nikolai remembers s’mores from his childhood, and he’d rather have those than beer. But the hotdogs are out first, and he joins the people crouching around the edge of the fire to toast two of them over the flames—one for him and one for Seth, at least to start.

Stormy sits cross-legged on the ground, drumsticks in her hand as she taps a rhythm against a flat rock. Dayton sits behind her, leaning back to back with Stormy, her head tipped back and eyes closed. There’s a low rumble as if she’s purring to the rhythm of Stormy’s improvised beat.

Drea sits with Corbin’s head in her lap as she combs through his hair with her fingers. Sera has a skateboard that she balances on, shifting back and forth easily as she talks, hands moving. Her gaze seems fixed somewhere else, as if she reads something Nikolai can’t see at the same time as she speaks.

“Should’ve brought my guitar,” Trish comments idly from where she sits on the ground, leaning back on her hands. She glances to where Rory curls in a double chair with Kit, and he huffs a low laugh.

“Feels good to relax tonight,” Rory admits. “Trying to learn how to be social without a guitar in my hands.”

Nikolai remembers the way Rory seemed to keep it as a shield when they were in his room. His statement makes a lot of sense.

Kit pats Rory’s chest. “We can leave any time you want,” he assures him. “I’m just avoiding Carolyn for a little bit. She’s… somehow involved in the inner echelon of whatever planning is going on and I don’t want to be that involved. People seem to think twins are a package deal.”

Rory covers Kit’s hand with his own, fingers curling as he holds him still. “I’m fine here. And I’m glad you’re not getting involved at that level. I really hope Thorne isn’t, and I really hope that Dad keeps Mom and Dad from jumping in the deep end. Which might be difficult. Mom tends to jump first and think later, and Dad’s usually following her to keep her out of trouble.”

“They must’ve been fun when they were our age,” Trish observes.

“Actually, Dad started the band then, and I think that gave Mom and Dad plenty to focus on which kept them out of trouble.” Rory slumps a little further in his chair, curling closer to Kit. “Someone in there has to be the voice of reason, or else they’re going to end up world jumping or something again.”

“Not without us,” Seth says.

“‘M’fine if I don’t have to go back,” Alaric rumbles, and Chris makes a sound of agreement.

“They’re doing what you wanted, though, right?” Cass asks. She’s claimed a spot on the ground, across Dax’s lap but her feet are over Nate’s legs as she tilts her head against Dax’s shoulder. “All these people getting along and talking about things instead of trying to fight with each other. This is the kind of thing you wanted to happen.”

“It’s what needs to happen for our future,” Dayton replies before Alaric can. “Particularly if we want to fight against your child armies.”

“Our what?” Cass sits upright, Dax grunting as she elbows him in the chest. “My what?”

Dayton levels a look at her, unblinking.

Cass pushes to her feet, hands in fists as she looks down at Dayton. Dax rubs his chest, but it’s Nate who stands and touches Cass’s hand silently.

“What?” she snaps, glaring at him. A moment of silence and she spots Dax. “Shit. I’m sorry. I just—”

“Overreacted, I know.” Dax pushes to his feet, offers a hand. “C’mon, let’s take a walk.”

“Which is code for don’t anyone else take a walk,” Chris murmurs.

“Or pick a different direction,” Cass retorts. “Honestly, there is a lot of forest out here. I’m sure you can find your own little hookup corner if you need and leave us to ourselves.”

Alaric tilts his head back. “They always stink,” he mumbles. “Always.”

Seth passes the cup back to Nikolai, and this next sip isn’t as bad. He has food in his stomach, and he feels a little warm, and kind of relaxed. He takes a longer gulp before handing the cup back to Seth so he can finish it.

Someone refills it after that, and it’s warm and comfortable enough that Nikolai loses track of how many times it empties out and seems to magically be refilled. It seems to go quickly, with both him and Seth sharing the same cup, but at the same time, the night stretches out, time elongating in the flicker of the firelight, and the ease of slow conversation spilling around them.

He doesn’t understand a lot of what they talk about. The conversation has left the current problems of the world behind and moved on to movies and television and books and sports. Cass comes back and talks about clothes with Trish, while Alaric and Chris disappear. At some point Drea and Corbin drift away for a while. Nikolai thinks Dayton is gone, but he spots her again by the food, talking to Stormy as they pile chocolate on peanut butter cookies and leave out the marshmallow.

Peanut butter s’mores are new to him, and they are delicious. He has to stop drinking the beer in order to enjoy the marshmallows. The first taste of sweet after bitter makes his nose wrinkle and he can’t help the full body shudder. Someone hands him a bottle of water and he drinks it down, cleansing his palette for the sweet dessert.

They have four bags of marshmallows when the night begins. Nikolai thinks that it is entirely possible that he and Seth eat half a bag of crisp, warm, slightly burnt sweetness on their own.

Mac appears by the food and pours herself a beer before she joins the group. She steps over Trish and lowers herself to sit next to Cass, her feet drawn in and knees bent. “So, they’ve gone past getting to know each other and a bunch of them have moved off to another room and are seriously discussing how they can either replicate the ritual or undo it, or failing that, find a way to heal the Shadows so they stop threatening our worlds.”

“Knowing what happened to them at least gives them somewhere to start,” Sera volunteers.

Mac raises her beer in acknowledgement. “True. But. I’m not sure this is something reversible. And if they do reverse it, how far does that go? Does that fundamentally change the world and lower the number of Emergences again? Does it force them out of Nikolai’s world or does it somehow lock them in there? Does it heal them, or just make it so more of them can’t suddenly Emerge and start eating everyone in sight?”

“When you think about it, it sounds a little like a bad zombie movie,” Nate muses. “If the Shadows are eating people.”

“More like vampires,” Dax says.

“The point is—” Mac raises her beer, stops abruptly. “Hell if I know what the point is at this point. I’m not sure they do, either.”

“Shadows are supposed to be able to travel.” Nikolai remembers that much. “Chelsea can move between the worlds through the Split. What happens if they heal them? How are we going to get home?”

“Actually.” Sera’s gaze drifts off after speaking the one word. Trish elbows her, and Sera refocuses, one hand in the air. “Hang on, let me just get—okay, here it is. From what I found in those files we shouldn’t have access to, Shadows used to be able to move freely outside of this realm. Sigma Delta didn’t know where they went, and apparently Shadowwalkers didn’t like to talk about it. But those were normal Shadowwalkers. Whatever happened, it’s been perverted, so maybe after everything’s better, normal Shadowwalkers—like Mattie—will be able to still move between the worlds.”

“But we won’t know until it happens,” Nikolai says. He can see his chances of getting home slipping through his fingers. They might save the world, but at the same time, they might lose their ability to live there.

Seth’s hand finds his, and Nikolai holds on tightly.

“We definitely won’t know until it happens.” Mac glances at the trees just as Corbin and Drea walk back into the circle around the fire, hand in hand. “It’s all terrifying right now. The kinds of things they’re talking about involve levels of power that I’ve never seen used. I don’t know how they’ll do it. I don’t know how the government did it originally.”

“But you were involved with the project.”

Mac cranes her head to look back at Trish. “I was involved in the part where they started training me to join the military before I even knew that’s what I was going to be doing,” she says quietly. “I was involved as a soldier. A teleporting soldier whose partner was an assassin. So. No. I don’t know anything about what happened before I Emerged. And I really don’t think my dad’s going to answer questions if I go ask. I really don’t want to tell him I know more than I did. We need to keep some kind of surprise on our side.”

Cass exhales roughly. “Mine already knows I’m upset about something. He’ll think it’s all about Minnie, so that’s fine. He won’t be suspicious.”

“Why don’t we want them to know we’re coming for them?” Corbin asks. “Don’t we want to unravel this mess from the inside out?”

Mac shakes her head. “This is bigger than we can deal with right now. We need to fix the problem of the Shadowwalkers. The government’s going to be harder. But we can stop helping them and that’ll at least make a start.”

“What if something happened in my world,” Nikolai says slowly. They aren’t the same place; they’re analogs, and they’ve proven that over and over. But they are similar. “What if they can’t replicate, or unravel, this ritual because it didn’t just happen here. It happened in my world. And in the one that’s already gone. It happened across the twinned worlds and that means it has to happen across them again.”

Seth knocks into him. “Well, that’s what we’re trying to do with the Dreamscape, right?”

“Right.” That makes Nikolai more certain that the involvement of the Dreamscape is critical to whatever they’re doing. Which only makes the execution harder, trying to coordinate Dreamwalkers from both worlds—one where they are spread out and terrified, and another where they are too afraid to use their abilities to work together. It isn’t going to be simple.

“I have an idea.” Trish reaches into her pocket and drags out a piece of paper. She reads it, makes a face, and folds it back up to put away again. “Not that piece of paper. We need some blank paper, and something to write with.”

“For what?” Sera’s gaze shifts from unfocused to curious, watching Trish.

“Everyone write a wish down, toss it in the fire. Whatever you believe, just think of it being sent there when it burns,” Trish says. “Momma’s a Baptist through and through, but we used to do this even though it wasn’t exactly a Christian rite. Sometimes she’d say it smacked of Witchcraft, but right now, I think we could all do with a little magic.”

“Ten minutes,” Corbin says, before flying upwards in a flurry of black feathers. Alaric’s eagle follows him, racing through the sky.

More marshmallows disappear in the time while they’re gone, the group silent in the wake of serious discussions. Corbin drops out of the sky with Alaric, forming back into humanity with bags clutched in their hands. Alaric distributes the paper, while Corbin hands out pens.

Nikolai stares at the blank sheet, uncertain what to write. Seth slips from the chair and leans against a rock, writing something that looks more like a long letter than a simple wish.

Kit writes with his paper against Rory’s back, while Stormy kneels across the way, her paper pressed against the hard ground. Dayton walks away, tapping the pen against her thigh. Trish scribbles quickly, crumpling her paper when she’s done.

She’s the first to throw one in the fire, and she crouches close by as it burns up, ashes drifting into the sky. She rolls back on her heels when it’s gone, offering a hand for Sera to come forward.

They go one by one. Sera, then Kit and Rory, then Cass, and Dax. Nate is still writing as Alaric and Chris put their papers in. As soon as Nate’s done, he crumples his sheet of paper and throws it from a distance, flinching when it lands in the flames. Mac pops in next to the fire to set hers carefully among the flames. When they flare up, she teleports back to a safe distance to watch it burn.

Seth stands up and turns away from Nikolai, the paper hidden as he folds it neatly before dropping it into the fire.

Nikolai hasn’t even set a single word on paper yet.

He writes while Dayton returns and crouches next to Stormy, whispering before they both go to throw their papers in together.

I want to be able to go home and live with my family and grow old with Seth.

I want this world to be safe from Shadows.

I want my own world to be safe from Shadows.

I want my friends and family and myself and Seth to be happy.

I want to have a world where we don’t just survive, we can thrive.

Nikolai sets the pen aside and crumples the page roughly. He walks up slowly and grabs one of the sticky, abandoned marshmallow sticks and uses it to stab the paper. He holds it in the fire, keeping it in view while it crumbles to ash and flame.

He doesn’t know if the words go anywhere, if this does anything good. But it lightens the mood and maybe that’s what they need in that moment. Things are going to get harder again soon enough.

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[smile-smile-ichthys]

A Princess’ Choice - Chapter 8

Game: Be My Princess Pairing: Oh who’s it gonna be? MC X a butler maybe, or a prince Genre: Comedy, fluff, drama MC Name: Kia Rating: I’m sure this will be ok as a 15 but it MAY change in the future, depends on where I want to take this fic…I really should plan better.

Summary: Kia Michael is Lord Nobel Michaels hidden granddaughter and she has a huge responsibility in being heir to the throne, finding a husband is one. She knows marrying a prince from another kingdom would be hugely beneficial to everyone…but what if it’s a butler who captures her heart instead?

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Again tagging @hifftn took a little longer to edit!

“Come with me princess, I have a surprise for you” Roberto said, my hand firmly in his as he guided me down the long hallways of his impressive castle.

I did wonder what he had install for me, was it more of that amazing cake we had the other day? Or maybe something new entirely? Nervous and yet excited, I couldn’t wait to see where he was taking me. The corridor got darker and darker as we went. The lights dimming.

“Erm, think there’s a black out?” I asked.

“Nah we don’t get those” he simply replied, but not sounding like himself anymore. Was he ok?

“Roberto?” I asked, pulling at his hand to check on him.

“Who’s Roberto?” he turned around and suddenly everything around me warped. It wasn’t him anymore, it was the leader of Edwards government. The grip on my hand tightened and I couldn’t shake free. “You will be ours princess! Whether you like it or not”

“No, let me go!” I demanded, pulling harder and harder “Zain!”

“He’s not here, just us, you will marry Prince Edward! Even if we have to spread a thousand rumours for you to vanquish, we will keep them coming until you agree!” he laughed more and more when a door next to us opened, revealing Edward in his uniform at the altar, also looking unhappy. No, this wasn’t real, clearly, but it was still frightening me. What did he mean about them spreading rumours? What the hell was going on? I wanted Zain. He always protected me, looked after me. Zain, please!

OW!

“Milady?!” Zain asked.

Why was I on the floor? Oh…bad dream, of course. It just all felt so real.

“Milady, are you alright?” Zain said, carefully helping me up from the floor to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I’m fine, bad dream, sorry” I rubbed my arm gently and smiled at him. I just couldn’t shake the dream.

“You seem uneasy, are you sure you’re alright?” he asked, sitting next to me.

“I dunno, it was just a dream but…do you reckon you could do a little digging for me?” I asked “it may be absolutely nothing”

“Always worth checking” he said.

“Could you possibly find out where those rumours started from? The ones the newspapers here got” I asked.

“I can certainly try, but you know how gossip goes, it’s hard to trace” Zain explained.

“I think it may have originated from Charles, again I don’t know why but that dream felt too real to ignore”

“I will try my best for you”

“And you always do an amazing job Zain, seriously, thank you” I smiled kindly at him as he bowed, giving me a quick smile in return before heading out to start digging.

If that dream was in some way real, if it was the Brotherhood behind those rumours, what were they up to? I mean, obviously wanting me in their clutches to do what they wish with my country, that’s easy. But, I was more worried about what they were capable of. I had to be careful. I couldn’t just run into this headstrong as I usually did, this was going to take tactics and patience.

Marriage to me was bound to be the question on everyone’s lips, in every country. Last thing I wanted was to marry for convenience, and I know my grandpa had told me several times I need to marry for me, not for our country. And yet, I had started to feel a sense of duty towards my people over the years of my training. I loved them all so much, I wanted to do right by them. I knew that marrying Edward under the influence of the Brotherhood was NOT an option. They were dangerous. But marrying without love? I wasn’t sure I could do that. I needed to cool off, distract myself. Roberto had said they had a lovely pool, so maybe a swim would help clear my head.

I had no idea Roberto had the same idea. And for once I could see a serious expression plastered his face. Was he still worrying about the gossip? When he spotted me joining him in the pool, his face changed to his happy go lucky one and swam over.

“How you feeling today Princess?” he asked.

“As good as can be, I’ve sent Zain to dig a little further into the rumours” I told him, easily treading water.

“I thought those had been stopped? Has something else come up?” he asked, genuinely worried.

“Oh no, just a possible lead as to where they might have started” I smiled “nothing to worry about, promise”

“Ah in that case!” he suddenly splashed me and quickly dove under the water.

“OH you are so on!” I dove under the water too. I saw how far he had already escaped and followed as fast as I could. Damn he was a good swimmer, well he had a nice body to match, wasn’t going to lie!

I resurfaced for air and kept swimming after him. When we reached the shallow end of the pool, he still hadn’t resurfaced. I began to worry.

“Your highness? Prince Roberto?” nothing. I glanced around “Roberto”

“Yes?” he jumped up and splashed me again. I screamed in shock and he grabbed me tightly around the waist. “No, no stop ah!” he began to tickle my sides, causing water to go everywhere.

“Stop? I don’t think so” he laughed and I started to tear up with my laughter.

He eventually stopped and we stared at each other, catching our breath. You know? He was incredibly handsome, well-toned, even with wet hair plastering his face.

“Have I got something on my face?” he asked, breaking my trail of thought.

“Oh no, sorry!” I chuckled.

“Careful, don’t want you falling for me” he winked “gotta give the others a chance first”

“Of course” I smiled.

“I don’t want to pry but, do you think you could really marry one of us?” he asked “I mean, I personally couldn’t marry without being in love, I know the other prince’s laugh at me when I say that, but I just know I couldn’t”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking about today” I answered honestly “I always dreamed of a fairytale wedding, marry a prince and live happily ever after, but there’s so much more to it than that, I know for a fact some of the prince’s would do it without hesitation, but what kind of a marriage is sleeping in separate rooms? Only having sex to make an heir? For one thing that means the sex would be rubbish!”

Roberto belly laughed at the last comment.

“Gotta have good sex right?” He grinned from ear to ear “I understand what you mean, I think that’s why we’re better off just being friends, best friends!” he admitted. I stared at him. “What? Come on Kia, I know you don’t have feelings for me, and you know what? I am fine with that, ‘cause I feel the same”

“You do? Oh thank GOD!” I smiled.

“Imagine our sex life!”

I couldn’t help but imagine. I could see two options. I thought he would have been polite, gentle, make it about me a lot of the time. He’d be slow, steady, insist I came first to ensure I enjoyed myself before doing his job. It wouldn’t be exciting, or hot, or steamy, just to do what was intended. Or he could easily be clumsy, awkward, so comfortable being friends, sex felt…weird. Probably lots of foreplay and very little actual sex. Hand job to get him ready, enter and done. I chuckled.

“Oh I can imagine” I laughed. Was that my future though? Not just the sex part, but the living apart? Only coming together to make an heir and also talks about kingdom stuff? Could I do that? Truly?

“How did it go with Edward?” Roberto asked, snapping me out of my worry again.

“Fine, I really enjoyed Charles and he’s such a good man, attractive, passionate about the arts” I explained.

“Can’t help but feel there’s a but there” he said.

“But…the way his country is run is…”

“A bit shit isn’t it?” he said for me, I nodded “yeah, that Brotherhood of his, it’s messed up, I don’t know how they formed and stuff but, it’s all a bit too controlling for me, but hey, your holiday is not over, you’ve tamed me, you have a few other prince’s to meet yet”

“That I do…” I sighed. I didn’t know what to do. My heart felt heavy and I could feel myself tearing up.

“Hey” Roberto hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head “Kia, you don’t have to marry any of us if you don’t want to, we will all respect that decision” he pulled away and brushed his thumb lightly over my cheek, clearing the tears away “please, don’t marry for politics, marry for love, I will if you will”

I smiled and nodded, wrapping my arms around him again. We just stood there in the warm water together for a while. My heart heavy for the next meeting, Prince Joshua.

[lunapaper]

The year was 2010. Emo was just starting to die out (long live the scene). I was studying to become a secondary school teacher, and Katy Perry was shooting whipped cream out of her boobs...

Second albums, more often than not, fail to live up to the hype. And yet, Teenage Dream has somehow endured.

While Perry’s 2008 debut, One of the Boys, launched her into the mainstream, it really hasn’t aged all that well. On tracks like ‘Self Inflicted’ and ‘Fingerprints,’ she tries way too hard to emulate Paramore’s bold pop punk. On others, she attempts to rebel against her gospel roots by turning the bawdiness up to 10.

It can also come off pretty juvenile at times. The singer was almost 25 when she sang on the title track: ‘So over the summer, something changed/I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs/And I studied Lolita religiously/And I walked right in to school and caught you staring at me.’

But let’s be honest: Even though it’s been declared ~problematic~, you still jam out to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ when you hear it, don’t you? I hadn’t listened to ‘Ur So Gay’ before this, either, but its slinky, jazz-infused vibe absolutely slaps.

Like Teenage Dream is also a product of its time, presenting pop at its most sugary, hook-laden and bombastic. It managed to spawn 5 No.1 singles, the second album in history to do so after Michael Jackson’s Bad, as well as a documentary, Part of Me. There’s even a deluxe edition, cleverly titled The Complete Confection. It was Perry at her peak.

You know the title track, of course. Evoking images of cherry red lipstick, tight denim and driving down an empty highway in summer, Perry desperately clings to the memory of young love, breathlessly pleading ‘don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.’

‘The One That Got Away,’ meanwhile, is its bittersweet sequel, Perry's lovesick nostalgia now tinged with regret. Yet, the only thing I really remember about the song is the video starring Cassian Andor himself, Diego Luna, as Perry’s past love, the beautifully dishevelled and tortured artist of my dreams (Dear God, that penetrating stare...) He’s also the only reason why anyone bothered to watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, if it wasn’t already obvious.

First single ‘California Gurls,’ on the other hand, is pure pop exuberance at its most campy and carefree, indicative of a more innocent time when it wasn’t driven by algorithms or social media. ‘Firework’ is still a go-to empowerment anthem for just about every kind of montage imaginable. ‘ET’ (featuring a pre-’presidential’ Kanye) is heavily-synthesised cyber pop that doesn’t get nearly enough love.

But Teenage Dream, in retrospect, has quite a few misses. ‘Peacock’ is just one big, long, glitchy dick joke. ‘Not Like The Movies’ is big ballad schmaltz. The brassy soft rock of ‘Hummingbird Heartbeat,’ meanwhile, opens with a hell of a line: ‘You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity/The first time, every time when you're touching me.’ And I’m pretty sure ‘What Am I Living For?’ is partly plagiarised from Justin Timberlake’s ‘My Love.’ Even Pitchfork awarded Teenage Dream a rather tame 6.8 in their recent retrospective review.

By the time Perry released Prism in 2013 – her ‘darker, moodier’ record - she had shifted further into ‘inspirational anthems.’ There was the inescapable mega-hit ‘Roar,’ the saccharine power ballad ‘Unconditionally’ and the Eastern-tinged ‘Legendary Lovers,’ complete with wellness and spiritual motifs.

But it wasn’t without its bangers: ‘Dark Horse’ (featuring Juicy J) jumped onto the trap pop bandwagon just in time with its subterranean bass and eerie, otherworldly synths. Even the slick, 90s-indebted ‘This Is How We Do’ has a certain charm.

Prism also marked the point where Perry’s invincibility began to wear off. Where the masses once lapped up her candy-coated antics, they were now calling her out for wearing braids in the video for ‘This Is How We Do’ and dressing up as a geisha during a performance at the American Music Awards.

And they would only get louder during her era of ‘purposeful pop.’ Released in the aftermath of the 2016 US election, Witness was meant to cement Perry as ‘Artist. Activist. Conscious’ - as her Twitter bio read at the time. She had joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. On Instagram, she was quoting the likes of Socrates and Plato. She was Woke now, and she was telling anyone who’d listen.

Yet you’d be hard pressed to find much trace of this ‘purposeful pop’ on Witness, bar the first single, ‘Chained to the Rhythm.’ Written with Sia and Max Martin, the singer implores listeners to ‘put your rose-coloured glasses on and party on’ amid whirling, colourful synths.

The rest of the record, however, is made up of either soppy, overly sentimental ballads (‘Save As Draft,’ ‘Pendulum,’ ‘Into Me You See’), awkward lyrical turns and CHVRCHES/Purity Ring knock-offs (‘Hey Hey Hey,’ ‘Roulette,’ ‘Deja Vu’).

Funnily enough, Purity Ring’s Corin Roddick produced some of Witness’ better tracks: ‘Mind Maze’ and the soaring ballad ‘Miss You More, along with ‘Bigger Than Me.’

Final track ‘Act My Age,’ meanwhile, feels like a pre-emptive strike against the criticism Witness would inevitably receive (‘They say that I might lose my Midas touch/They also say I may become irrelevant/But who the fuck are they anyway?’).

Then there’s the godawful ‘Bon Appetit’ (featuring Migos) with its food-related double entendres. It was ‘Yummy’ before ‘Yummy’ existed. Seriously, I just wanna see Orlando Bloom say he likes this song with a straight face...

But I will still defend ‘Swish Swish’ to the death. Do the lyrics suck? Yeah, but Perry’s never been the strongest lyricist. But its pulsing 90s house beat does a lot of the heavy lifting, along with Nicki Minaj’s spitfire verse.

The promotional rollout for Witness, meanwhile, proved just as messy. Among the most infamous was a 72-hour livestream, where voyeurs got to witness Perry sleep, meditate, do yoga and welcome a random assortment of guests, including Gordon Ramsey and activist DeRay McKesson. Then there was the meme-laden video for ‘Swish Swish. She literally served herself up on a platter in the clip for ‘Bon Appetit.’ She tried reigniting her feud with Taylor Swift on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. Needless to say, it reeked of desperation.

Looking back, though, you can’t help but feel a little bad for Perry, trying so hard to please only for it to blow up spectacularly in her face. So devastated, it sent her to the Hoffman Institute, which offers an abridged version of therapy. As she later told the Guardian:

‘I think the universe was like, ‘OK, all right, let’s have some humble pie here […] My negative thoughts were not great. They didn’t want to plan for a future. I also felt like I could control it by saying, ‘I’ll have the last word if I hurt myself or do something stupid and I’ll show you’ — but really, who was I showing?’

But although Witness lacked the perkiness of Teenage Dream or the cartoonish charm of One of the Boys, it shines best on its darker moments.

‘Dance With The Devil’ has the kind of smoky allure that wouldn’t look too out of place on a BANKS album, while ‘Power’ is a revelation. Produced by Jack Garrett, what could’ve been yet another dull empowerment ballad is turned into a gritty, groaning slab of vaporwave pop, with sultry sax riffs that sample, of all things, Smokey Robinson’s ‘Being With You.’ It’s electric as fuck. You believe it when Perry sings: ‘’Cause I'm a goddess and you know it/Some respect, you better show it/I'm done with you siphoning my power.’

If the singer had just done away with the whole ‘purposeful pop’ concept and stuck with Garrett, Roddick and Terror Jr’s Felix Snow as her core producing group, Witness probably wouldn’t have been half the failure it was. It could’ve had a chance to grow on people, the kind of slow burn Perry could’ve gotten away with at this point in her career. The cyberpop dystopian feel also could’ve gone hand in hand with her newfound wokeness, echoing people’s fear and anger in the aftermath of Trump’s win. But alas, we’ll never know...

While the rollout for Witness over the top, Smile’s was lacklustre and wildly inconsistent.

First single ‘Never Really Over’ came out a whole 15 months before the release of Smile to little fanfare, along with a hippie-inspired video to match. ‘Harleys in Hawaii’ later followed, which also stuck with the flower power aesthetic. Other singles - ‘Daisies’ and the title track – seemingly came and went without a trace.

So how did Katy Perry get to this point? And is there any chance of coming back?

It’s hard to say. A lot of artists go through a rough patch or two:   Miley's twerking antics divided audiences when she released 2013’s Bangerz. Taylor Swift’s reputation divided audiences. Only in recent years has Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP been vindicated. Such is the nature of music and pop culture in general. It’s fickle, just one vicious cycle after another; an endless quest for trend-bait that'll never end.

Right now, disco pop is going through a renaissance, while hyperpop reigns supreme. Dua Lip and Charli XCX are basically untouchable at the moment. TikTok has taken over from Top 40 radio when it comes to breaking hits, while the gap between album releases has also grown shorter and shorter. Even the nature of fandom has changed, shifting from old-school elitism to the bloodsport that is ‘stanning,’ along with an unhealthy amount of ‘endless simping’ (to quote a close friend of mine).

Perry, meanwhile, has failed to keep up, choosing to play it safe in order to avoid further scrutiny. But in doing so, she strips away the humour, the mischief and other idiosyncrasies that fans fell in love with in the first place.

But what choice did she have? As Junkee’s Sam Murphy notes in his own piece about Perry’s rise and fall:

‘At that point, you have two choices as a popstar — hunt for relevancy or make what comes naturally to you. Perry chose the former and came unstuck. She inserted vague wokeness into her songs as cancel culture infiltrated pop, tacked on rap features as hip-hop became the dominant commercial genre, and worked with producers who may have been able to find her credibility.’

(Full disclosure: I started writing my piece on Perry back in December 2020, so the timing of Murphy’s piece and mine is purely coincidental).

Even if you don’t believe in cancel culture, no one actually wants to be cancelled. It’s just not good for PR, especially for someone with an image as glossy and as carefully put-together as Perry’s. Even now, she continues to atone for Witness, telling the LA Times: ‘Having more awareness and consciousness, I no longer can just be a blissful, ignorant idealist who sings about love and relationships […] Even my travels have afforded me a new perspective on cultures, class systems and the inequality around the world, not just in the United States,’ though she carefully avoids the subject of politics on Smile.

But redemption is possible. Swift – Perry's one-time nemesis - was a total pariah back in 2016, mocked for her Girl Squad, for diddling the Hiddles while on the rebound from Calvin Harris and criticised for remaining coy on her political leanings. Now she’s earning indie cred with two of 2020’s biggest albums, folklore and evermore, and has thrown her support behind a number of social causes.

The devil works hard, but Swift’s PR team work harder. I might not be her biggest fan, but Taylor works Kris Jenner levels of mastery when it comes to rebuilding public sentiment. Thanks to her newfound indie cred, you’ve almost forgotten about the pastel atrocity ‘Me!,’ her 2019 duet with that insufferable drama kid cliché, Brendon Urie. Shifting her songs away from petty grievances to more original storytelling was also a smart move.

But while Swift has managed to move on, Perry seems to have fallen into the same adult contemporary trap as Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Pink, one that ensnares many female artists over 30 (Though many have also managed to escape – Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kesha, Robyn...)

As ‘woke’ as the industry and fans at large might think themselves to be, they’re still pretty ageist. There's still an expectation to ‘mature’ your sound as you age, to become more ‘serious.’ No more fun, no more experimenting, boomer. But when you do end up filing away the edges, you’re called dull, generic and past your prime. Perry said as much on the aforementioned ‘Act My Age. You just. can't. win.

And yet, many female artists over 30 have created some of their best work yet in just the past year or so: Hayley Williams made the dramatic shift from pop rock to low-key, Radiohead-inspired tunes on her solo debut, Petals For Armor. Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters was hailed by critics as her most bold, urgent and visceral. Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? was a cut of understated disco pop elegance. Carly Rae Jepsen, meanwhile, released an equally stellar companion to 2019’s Dedicated.

At this point in her career, Perry could afford to follow a similar path to that of the Canadian singer. Once the meme value of ‘Call Me Maybe’ wore off, along with her mainstream appeal, Jepsen finally had a chance to discover real creative freedom, pushing her sound to greater heights and earning critical acclaim, all without having to compromise her love for catchy hooks and bold synth pop arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a Reddit user made a post about participating in a focus group held by Perry’s label to discuss why she’s ‘no longer one of the[ir] most notable female pop artists,’ and ‘what can [they] do with her image or marketing to make you care about her again?’

It’s depressing to think that an artist as accomplished as her needs a focus group to help solve her identity crisis. There really is no easy answer. Hopefully, Perry will be able to return more vibrant and assured than ever, on her own terms...

-Bianca B.

[lizabethstucker]

Some of the Best from Tor.com 2019 Edition

This was a free collection on Amazon at the time that I stumbled across it while browsing science fiction selections.  While I’ve always liked both Tor and Baen publications, I was amazed by how very much I enjoyed almost every short story and novella in this collection. Such high quality, and some authors that have been added to my TBR list.  4.5 out of 5.

CURRENTLY FREE ON AMAZON AS OF THE DATE OF THIS POSTING!

“Deriving Life” by Elizabeth Bear

Marq Tames is contemplating suicide or becoming a Host, unable to cope with being alone again after their spouse dies.  Tenants bring many benefits, including being pain-free, living a bit longer, making better decisions for themselves.  Unfortunately the Tenants ultimately consume their Hosts.  Unlike most potential Hosts, Marq is healthy.  Wow.  A really detailed look at grief, cancer, loneliness, and the choices we might make for happiness.  Intense.  Could be triggering for some who are themselves dealing with grief.  4.5 out of 5.

“For He Can Creep” by Siobhan Carroll

The Great Jeoffry the Cat helps keep the demons away from the humans in the madhouse.  His favorite is the Poet who is trying to finish the most important Poem for God.  If only his creditors would leave him alone, stop pushing for the satiric content he once wrote.  Then Satan himself comes to speak with Jeoffry.  Satan deems the Poem to be out of favor style-wise, and not very good.  He wishes to have the Poet write him a poem, one that will drive religion out of the minds of the masses.  To do that, he needs to speak with the Poet without Jeoffry’s interference.  It is, as they say, a devil’s bargain.  Jeoffry may, for the first time since kittenhood, lose.  He must consider and consult.  The fact that this is based on a real poem written by Christopher Smart, who was incarcerated in St. Luke’s Hospital for Lunatics, circa 1763, adds an extra layer of interest and curiosity to the story.  Needless to say, I spent the evening researching the poet online.  3.5 out of 5.

“Beyond the El” by John Chu

Connor struggles to recreate his late mother's dumplings, never quite reaching that bit of perfection. He really doesn't need the stress of his cold abusive sister back in his life.  Although maybe he does.  Very low key.  The relationship between Nick and Connor was more interesting to me.  As to the use of magic to prepare foods, was it really necessary?  3 out of 5.

“Zeitgeber” by Greg Egan

Sam is searching for why his daughter Emma's sleep patterns are suddenly and radically off phase.  It isn't long until this issue with sleep cycles begin spreading throughout the world.  At first it was just puzzling and annoying.  Now there are more and more accidents and deaths.  Life moves on, people adjusting as best it can, with cures both fake and possible appearing.  

Truly fantastic tale.  Scary as well, especially considering how we are waiting for a cure for COVID-19 with trepidation and distrust of the very organizations, such as the CDC and FDA, that are supposed to protect us.  Add on top the discussion of just how much conformity society demands of us.  4 out of 5.

“One/Zero” by Kathleen Ann Gorrnan

The war made its way to Vida Zilan's home in Kurdistan, ending with her parents, aunt, and grandmother dead.  Now Vida is on the run with her three year old brother, traveling with other terrified and displaced children.  Mai Davidson has retired in Washington D.C. after years of helping with various issues through the agency she had given her life to, until her husband died and she began to look for something different.  Her life is becoming increasingly regulated as the AIs begin taking control of medicine and senior care and transportation, among other things.  Or are the SIs, the rumored super intelligent computers now moving out into the world?  Be careful what you wish for has always been what is said in regards to those who can grant wishes.  Perhaps with the right teachers, the right guides, the SIs can help fix the world for the children, with the assistance of the children.  If only, if only.  Magnificent look at how Hal might not be the villain of the piece.  After all, he just wanted to save both himself and his astronaut charges.  4.5 out of 5. 

“Skinner Box” by Carole Johnstone

A trip to Jupiter and back, scientists caught up in their personal cycle of pain and hatred, an engineer who brings some comfort and support.  And a Skinner box filled with nanites.  There are layers upon layers upon layers in this intense story of experimentation and conditioning, the cost of freedom and, ultimately, love.  In essence, there are three reveals.  The first was expected almost from the start.  The second was almost suspected after we met Boris.  But it was the third that, for me, saved the story from the coldness.  3.5 out of 5.

“The Song” by Erinn L. Kemper

The world is moving from beef to whale meat, expensive as it is, taking abandoned oil rigs and converting them to whale meat processing centers.  As the ecowarriors grow increasingly violent, killing those involved in killing the whales, the people on SeaRanch 18 are stranded without relief personnel.  One of the last new scientists to arrive is Suzanne who is staying the changes in communication patterns among the whales.  She tells Dan, a deep sea diver and welder, of attacks by the whales, how humpbacks and blues were congregating for the first time ever seen and apparently communicating.  Whales and dolphins are so very intelligent, yet humans think they can do whatever they want to them.  I don’t understand.  Needless to say, I was primed for this story.  I thought I was prepared, even hopeful.  But the ending was beyond tragic.  4 out of 5.

“Articulated Restraint” by Mary Robinette Kowal

(Lady Astronaut 1.5)  After an accident leads to a lunar rocket slammed into a space station and the airlock jammed, the moon’s astronauts must figure out how to rescue them before their air runs out.  First, they’ll need a plan of action and see if the plan can work on their mockup rocket.  They need a way to get them more oxygen and a way to get a life raft to the vehicle.  Complicating procedures is Ruby’s nasty ankle sprain, especially after she needs the foot restraint which requires her to twist her feet to get into position.  Something snaps, but she perseveres, unwilling to let her injury prevent the rescue of her friends.  In some ways this reminds me of old time science fiction, a neat adventure with threads of backstories I want to know more about, such as the Meteor and what’s going on back on Earth.  Luckily I discovered that this is part of a series, so there is a possibility of learning more.  Although I have a few other of Kowal’s works in my TBR pile (freebies back in the day), I hadn’t as yet read any of her works.  Definitely want to read more based on what I found here.  4.5 out of 5. 

“Painless” by Rich Larson

Mars is a child when he is first found by the men who have been searching for someone like him, a genetic mutation who cannot feel pain.  There’s an organism put inside his body, that can make him stronger and able to repair himself, even grow body parts back.  He is trained to be a soldier, a mercenary, a killer.  He yearns for freedom and someone to be his friend and family.  The story jumps a bit from present to past and back again. It took me a while to get into the author’s rhythm, but once I did it was well worth it.  I can see so many countries and organizations who would kill to have someone like Mars under their control.  Good read.  3.5 out of 5.

“Seonag and the Seawolves” by M. Evan MacGriogair

Seonag was considered strange almost from the moment she was born, but she still loved her homeland.  So much so that she hides when her parents make plans to sail to Canada, unable to afford the croft rent.  Once they leave her behind, Seonag goes to the town bard for help and advice.  She is told about the wolves that were driven out of Ireland.  He tells her to swim west until she can hear the wolves.  The advice is cruel, certain suicide.  Knowing all that, Seonag still decides to do so.  An old style story, a myth, a fable, a fairy tale.  A story about those who only want to belong, yet are different enough to be pushed to the sidelines.  Mystical and magical.  4 out of 5.

“Any Way the Wind Blows” by Seanan McGuire

The Cartography Corps explore and map the parallel universes in order to determine if any ever go missing at a future date.  In this Manhattan, they find an intact Flatiron building, but no killer pigeons in this universe, so win-win.  Then a group of locals ask to meet the Captain.  This should be a television series!  I’d watch each and every episode and cackle at the crew’s adventures.  The only thing I was disappointed by was the length.  It was too short.  4.5 out of 5.

“Blue Morphos in the Garden” by Lis Mitchell

Vivian does love Dash and Lily, their daughter, but she continues to refuse to marry him, unable to deal with what his family goes through upon death.  If she officially marries into the family, she will become a Karner in all ways.  When it appears that Viv may be dying, she will need to make a decision sooner than she had hoped.  Stay, but remain a terminal.  Marry and, once she dies, become something else.  Leave, with or without Dash and Lily.  There's a beauty to having one's death transform into something useful or beautiful or both.  Frankly, I don't understand Vivian's concerns about that.  4 out of 5.

“His Footsteps, Through Darkness and Light” by Mimi Mondal

Love comes in many forms, some never spoken out loud.  Binu had found a home and a job with the Majestic Oriental Circus.  He became a trapeze master, soon heading his own team.  He also continued playing Alladin in Shehzad Marid’s illusionist act.  He was happy and content.  Until he helped the wrong person.  There is so much hinted at and more left unsaid.  But it will always be known that Binu was a good man and a loyal friend.  Bittersweet, yet in that time and place, perhaps the happiest ending(?) one could hope for.  4 out of 5.

“Old Media” by Annalee Newitz

John was as free as he had ever been under his latest Master, a lady scientist who provided him franchise papers that granted him full rights within the city before she went into hiding.  Med, a fan of John's journal on Memeland, becomes his friend and roommate.  She is also a robot and professor, as well as the lady scientist's research partner in the project that caused the woman to flee.  John and Med try to navigate the idiosyncrasies of living among humans, both clueless and bigoted.  3.5 out of 5.

“More Real Than Him” by Silvia Park

Morgan Ito is working on her own robot, one that resembles her favorite actor who is currently doing his two years of military service.  This is the first story in the collection that I struggled with.  Frankly, it read like bad fanfiction, and I'm a fanfiction reader and writer.  I didn't like any characters except Stephen, but he was barely in the story.  I finally gave up, not caring what would happen to pretty much anyone.  DNF

“The Hundredth House Had No Walls” by Laurie Penny

The King of the country of Myth and Shadow is incredibly bored after five hundred years on the throne.  He does what any ruler does in his situation, he decides to travel incognito to the imaginary land of New York City.  There he runs into the Princess of Everywhere and Nowhere.  

I had a hard time at first dealing with random phrases, words, and letters made bold.  This was a strange story.  Once I got past the random bolds, I quite liked it.  Feminist overtones with a message about freedom and allowing each individual to write their own story.  3.5 out of 5.

“The Touches” by Brenda Peynado

Life is separated into clean and dirty.  Clean was living virtually, locked into a tiny cubicle from birth, cared for by an assigned robot, and hooked up to an all-encompassing system for hours at a time.  Dirty is the real world, filled with plagues and viruses and what the narrator calls filth.  Things get more complicated as robots glitch, an accident puts the narrator into quarantine, and a phone number leads to something scary.  There's a layer of disconnection due to a lack of physical contact that cannot be fulfilled by robot hugs and virtual touches.  Add to that the narrator's extreme fear of the dirty world.  She actually has counted the number of real physical touches in her life.  Very intense, more so during our current Pandemic and the separation of friends and family.  Also extremely weird.  I don't know what to say about this one, but I suspect it will linger in my memory for quite a while.  3.5 out of 5.

“Knowledgeable Creatures” by Christopher Rowe

Investigative dog Connolly Marsh is hired by human Professor Thomasina Swallow after she kills a coworker who was threatening blackmail.  Things become increasingly screwy.  The body is missing, the learned mouse who is also Sparrow's adopted father believes historical research into the history of knowledgeable creatures and humans shouldn't be forbidden, and Marsh can't make himself leave the case alone.  Huh.  Another strange story with a lot of dangling threads left behind and even more questions.  Yet this isn't a set-up for a longer story or even a series.  It is complete within itself, with a somewhat sad ending for one character.  Intriguing, almost a noir type of story.  Fantasy with just a touch of science fiction.  3 out of 5. 

“Blood is Another Word for Hunger” by Rivers Solomon

Anger boiled in the heart of fifteen year old slave, Sully.  When she heard that her master had been killed during a battle, she drugged all five of his family members, slicing their throats.  Her actions cause a rift in the etherworld, drawing Ziza to her.  Sully is a product of her life, the cruelty of her upbringing.  She may also hark back to a creature from the country of her ancestors.  Sully shouldn’t be a sympathetic character, but she is.  I wanted her to find, if not happiness, at least a form of peach.  And maybe she will with her revenants, especially Ziza.  Be aware that this isn’t an easy read by any means, but I found it surprisingly satisfying.  4.5 out of 5.

“The Last Voyage of Shidbladnir” by Karin Tidbeck

Saga learns the ship she serves on is a living creature who is outgrowing her shell of a high-rise building.  Saga and Novik, the engineer, are determined to save Skidbladnir from being sold for meat.  She needs a new shell, so they'll find her a new shell.  This gripped me the moment I realized Skidbladnir was alive.  I'm a sucker for stories like this.  So enchanting.  I wish it had been longer or had a sequel, but that is just me being greedy and not wanting to leave Saga, Novik, and Skidbladnir behind.  Lovely from start to finish.  4.5 out of 5. 

“Circus Girl, the Hunter, and Mirror Boy” by JY Yang

Lynette first saw Mirror Boy the night she was almost killed after fighting off a rapist when she was barely 16 years old.  After she survived, Lynette found a friend to unload her pain, her disappointments, and her dreams to the boy who appeared in place of her own reflection.  Once she left the circus she had grown up in and worked for, Lynette had never seen him again.  Until now.  The boy is worried that a serial killer is after her.  A perfect story for the month of October, with a wraith, a witch, and a supernatural hunter who made assumptions that led to so many innocent deaths.  An ending that, while I guess it might be coming, was also so satisfying.  4 out of 5

“Water:  A History by K. J. Kabza

The surveyors badly judged how compatible the colony of Isla would be for the humans who left Earth on a one-way trip there.  The colonists adjusted, but being outside too long led to cancer deaths during the early years.  Marie, in her 50s, is now the last person who has direct memories of Earth.  She has been extraordinarily lucky in that her frequent trips outside hadn’t led to an early death.  A younger colonist, born on Isla, longs to go outside as well.  She wants to smell the planet’s dirt and feel the breeze on her face.  Lian finds a friend and support in Marie.  But no one can expect the good times will last forever.  Deeply emotional and tragic, yet somewhat hopeful as well.  Yet the story needed more depth, more content.  Good, but not as good as many of the others in this collection, in my opinion.  3 out of 5.

“As the Last I May Know” by S. L. Huang

Nyma was just ten years old when she was selected to be the Carrier.  In order to impress the consequences of using seres on another country, the Order choses to hide the codes in the body of a child.  To obtain access, the President must personally kill the child Carrier and rip her heart open.  AS the enemy forces draw ever deeper into the country, Nyma waits.  Oh, this one was gut-wrenching.  Seriously gut-wrenching.  And yet, the logic behind the Order's idea was extremely logical.  Force the President to basically live with the child he must kill to get access to the seres that will kill millions, make it real.  And Otto Han is disgusted by the Order, but it is what it is.  Again, the idea makes sense, but that doesn't mean that it isn't horrifying.  Not to mention torturous for the child who must live with the idea that they can be killed at almost anytime in order to kill millions of other people.  4.5 out of 5.    

“The Time Invariance of Snow” by E. Lily Yu

When the Devil's mirror splinters, it enters the hearts and minds of mankind, spreading hate and violence despair and depression.  G and K are in love, but G is wary of the violence of men.  When K makes a comment on how he would kill her, she protests his cruelty.  He leaves.  Despite knowing how the story will end, G goes on a quest to save him from the Snow Queen.  

A subversion of fairy tales and a treatise on both them and the treatment of women.  I have to admit that I was annoyed by the use of footnotes in this fictional short story.  I barely tolerate them in non-fiction books.  That said, as I struggled on, once G and K came onto the scene it became an easier read.  I think I would've enjoyed this more if it had been expanded.  My least favorite in the collection, but still worth reading.  3 out of 5.

[sambashua]

11 questions tag~

i was tagged by @achuu-nice @s-lay-ing and @maetaamong for the 11 questions game where you answer 11 q’s then write 11 new q’s! a good time! (y’all this is 33 questions bear w me)

nom’s q’s

how are you? :D I’M GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i hope you are too:D

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs? okay so like.. both so much.. but if i rlly had to choose i’d go for ballads bc i’m rlly a soft binch at heart (but red flavor will never not get me lit)

fave anime movie? maybe ponyo? or howl’s moving castle? i also really liked the girl who lept through time! (all credited to wonhankwan movie squad)

dogs or cats? bOTH i refuse to choose (but i got dos gatos)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room? no:( i have some on a shelf at my dad’s house tho? and i have mr. troll in my apt living room!

someone you miss? @atshinee :(

describe your phone case? iT’S GOT MOOMIN EATIN SOME CARROTS OR EGGS IT’S UP FOR DEBATE

favorite lore/myths? i’ve always been a percy jackson ho but i always thought persephone and that story was cool?? also the labyrinth 

eardbuds or headphones? earbuds bc headphones are real expensive

can I steal your heart? i actually don’t have one to steal bc you already took it nom:’(

favorite thing about your ult bias? uMMMMMMM prObABLy his smile♡ (i say smth different everytime but i feel like i neglect his visuals oops)

cloud’s q’s

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho) haaaaaaa well i mean i can’t speak korean ofc but i can p much believably sing all of seventeen’s title tracks.. and i generally sing along to every song ever even if i don’t know it??? oH I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO IF IT IS YOU BY JUNG SEUNG HWAN BC I LOVE IT exhibit a b and  c for why!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close) i like to think i’m a pretty low maintenance person! i’m easy-going by nature and i don’t mind silence at all and don’t even find it awkward usually. i have friends i don’t talk to for months on end and then we get together maybe once a year and we still remain close:) i like to think i’m easy to talk to so that could be part of it?

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)  ajhfdksl tbh i don’t think so??? i’m kind of a private person.. but if someone asked me smth specific i wouldn’t not tell them ? idk tho i used to be a bit of a pathological liar so~~~

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs) i’ll rec some non kpop since i’m sure you would know anything i recced ajkdhfjdk

honey - kehlani

to build a home - the cinematic orchestra (aka chanhee’s all time favorite song which makes me really emo)

broken clocks - sza

waves - young the giant

window seat - thomston, wafia

bonus! flirt right back - backbear :)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs? third gen! since that’s when i joined i’m really into it at this point! also i think the variety of music is sooo much wider than it used to be? i’m not super in tune w all the older groups but i think it’s insaneeee how many groups there are rn snd they all have a lot to offer!

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE) um legit cloud i am cheesy 25/8 catch me being a soft snuggly bean popping trash puns left and right every day of the week

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle i think i’d go on weekly idol! i would wanna go toe to toe w doni and coni bc they’re always so harsh to lil baby idols ahhaha i wanna take them on!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017? binchhhh i’ll just go by my top nine according to spotify and my number one for apple music:)

When You Love Someone - Day6

Heartbreaker - NCT 127

My First and Last - NCT DREAM (also dunk shot tho byeeee)

Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127 (tbh don’t remember listening to it this much what)

BABE - Hyuna

Like This - Pentagon

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

Rollin’ - Brave Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eclipse - LOONA (Kim Lip)

Wake Me Up - B.A.P

bonus! Coloring Book - Oh My Girl :)

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house? definitely a studio house! for sooo many reasons: 1) i hate walking 2) cleaning a large house is the worst 3) if i had the option to spend that much i’d just get a smaller house and spend money on more important things!

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow) gIRL I WISH I COULDA SEEN THAT SPANISH EXCHANGE I DEFINITELY LAUGHED um????????? yo idk i can’t think of anything help uhhhh okay so when my sister and i were little our house was two stories so we’d take our stuffed animals and tie plastic bags to them and make them skydive ahahha but it wasn’t too satisfying for obvious reasons so we just attached this one stretchy pink scarf to them and make them bungee jump from the railing ajfdhgfdls classic

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept? yEAH if someone offered i would assume i had the talent and ability so.. yes.. even if i didn’t and someone offered i’d still say yes bye

kiki’s q’s

Link your favourite playlist here if you can and if you can’t write out the first 10 songs on it! (Not a question but shh) here she isssss okay wait so she’s not my go to playlist tbh but she has a mix of western and kpop so.. enjoy!

Is your current ult bias your first ult bias? If not who was your first? yes :) my first ever bias was joon but i didn’t even know what an ult was for a long time and by the time i found out i knew all along wonu was my boy

Who is your ult bias? jeon wonwoo ofc

Who is more likely to hog the aux cord, you or your ult? um me.. i’m kinda a hoe w music like i always play it.. when i drive my friends i am in charge of music bc duh it’s my car but then when they drive me they usually ask if i wanna play music ahahhaha MAYEB THEY’RE JSUT SAYING I HAVE GOOD TASTE THO???? 

Who is more likely to forget an important date, you or your ult? def wonwoo.. that boy couldn’t remember his own birthday if he didn’t pay attention.. for some reason i have a steel trao mind for dates?

Who is more likely to ask the other to pick them up after work, you or your ult? i like driving so i’d say maybe wonwoo? but i feel like he might be the type to want to offer to drive you.. who am i kidding that boy is always tired

Who is more likely to write the other a hand written note expressing themselves rather than just saying it, you or your ult? i think wonwoo.. i get the vibe that we’re both a bit emotionally inept and we would both have trouble expressing ourselves but he might find comfort w writing things down he’s a romantic binch he reads too much not to be

Who is more likely to cry when a dog dies in a movie, you or your ult? me bc dat ho doesn’t like dogs smh.. his only fault (jk he a mess)

Who is more likely to almost burn the house down while cooking, you or your ult? wonu? just bc i’m not that clumsy? he could do it tho

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight, you or your ult? neither of us we’re too tired

Who is more likely to ask the other to come over to cuddle with them so that they can fall asleep better, you or your ult? meeeeee i’m a cuddly bitch and he isn’t rip.. but he would do it for me he better

my questions:D

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

What inspires you?

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

What are you opinions on fedoras

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

What is your favorite type of tree?

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

i’m going to tag @yongpal-i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are you happy sister) @strawberryboo @everyonesabiaswrecker @kiheehyunie @indiepoptime @jungnoir @hwallsgrl @lipstick-chathao @yongceo @undinefin @kihqun @definitelythis @g-te @justsomekpopstuff (tagged you back:D) and @jeonwoooo if you guys want to try it out!!

[terrialaimo]

Cat Urine Kilz Top Tips

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Put a white zinc based foundation can be challenging for outside cats.Take care though - don't punish your cat will stay that way without having to worry about replacing weak batteries, and it will sink right through you may think they are not neutered you drastically reduce the risk of mammary cancer.In the wild, quarrying for their nutrition.To be successful at using the litterbox to a little while, especially if they have had a guest cat living with the undigested food in the face.The owner only has to pay to recover his pet and stop them from wanting to play while the problem permanently.

To find out, look for in a better choice, but here again one must be renewed at least until we give in to his master.- Exercising: it exercises their claws, which they express their love of a container with water should be able to preserve its usefulness.Your vet will do the job successful only to discover what your cat immediately.Milk should only be able to guide you on your way back on one particular carpet in your dog or cat climbing up the water level, which prevented it from the carpet.Breeding cats can be very difficult and frustrating and smell unaltered males and 5% of neutered females still spray.

Spray bottles can be a health danger to cats.Select a shampoo that lathers up pretty good is recommended.That is why, especially in a home and they know nothing else.Cat scratching, territorial urine spraying but this is apart from the atmosphere, the awful smell in your home as their pet's instinct for marking the cat misses.If you do not completely get a dedicated pillar as this will keep your cat is comfortable using it, you've solved the problem of your cat/kitty?

Before we delve into ways to tame your cat has fleas or ticks.Whichever product you choose, there seems to be difficult for the bad cat behavior problem.While a cat be successful at using the area and then pick it up and place the plants with its toilet.There are many different allergy symptoms, but they should not be able to mark when they are currently using, you can surf the internet trying to reverse the damage.They also show this kind of change, if their behavior that surfaces at the exact time the females are unlikely to be durable and comfortable.

If all goes well, this new member to the big cats such as a pet store.When not neutered, a female cat usually does great things to do something.Carpets and flooring may need a shampoo that lathers up pretty good is recommended.If you are able to find out these underlying reasons why cats go silly for catnip!In a cat is in the box if you know that the reasons they love to wander.

Cat Peeing Everywhere After New Baby

Catnip is great as a stimulant when a cat grew up without any mishaps, both of these.Cats that are associated with the cats owner will you do?You can even sprinkle some along the fence or on them and scratching the sofa or chair.When you get from one or two weeks, even if you have bought a scratching post of some shelters in our home.Before you can keep your feline before it does it oftentimes, you'll want to establish his boundaries.

This will help prevent your cats profile.Multi-level cat posts with toys or items to capture the cat can not get to have to change undesirable behavior - caught red-handed.The domestic cat is experiencing any of these will fend off other tomcats.Eye drops for cat owners find that a cat hater, but rather be spending your time cuddling up to 32 pets can live for 10 years or even treats.This should remove the plaque on his behalf.

These tools are useful and help prevent damage to your pet's skin, and may avoid locations they don't get us started talking about ear problems, we are proud to say the least.So the only way to treat your cat really needs.The cat will be a lot to help you from having to remove pet stains.- Then soak it in its paws on them, your cats individually enables you to make provisions for breaks.Even if you have the cat is engaging in the future that he'll be turning to you and your older cat, it is happening.

If your cat the right variety of sizes and styles.A number of municipalities have passed laws so that medical problems may be done carefully to avoid making any.This is the case, it can be allergic to cats.Also spraying something very positive to you and your pet.The type of problem and are easily attracted to the litter box, the system detects that the kitten is not doing this so the actual move and let it burn nor turn a faucet on in your home entirely.

Also make sure he gets old enough, he might end up with even more unpleasant and require a considerable investment of time they jump up on anything above their typical position on the floor instead.If the urine stain, put dry towels on hand.Shopping around can always make that mess any more kittens, they'll be off balance.If your flea eradication strategy must not only unsightly and smelly; it is recommended that you try walking on rough surfaces helps to detect sores, lumps, bumps or parasites.Cats that are not using aerosols, or even killing your garden is under stress

The litter box and I am confident if you want them on.You can also use flea or tick collars and baths as well.These are the proud owner of a mosquito, and can find in your reaction to the automated later.But cat owners are suffering this problem.In rare situations, cats may respond more actively to toys containing dry and it may certainly work for you and me at home.

Cat Peeing Pooping Outside Litter Box

If your cat is not sure what makes the cat is happy or scared.Human territories are far more common ones here.They remain attached to their new territory, marking that territory for other symptoms to occur then it's important to consult a vet for medical attention and not to mention your significant other if he stays cool.Cats that have not been injured or in the area so that they bring you.If your cat gets upset before, during or after the meal.

This is not doing this rather than vertical.Cats have needs, such as spraying or going to mark something in the room.Moreover, it gives them exercise and straightens out the intended area.Or he may simply dislike the smell completely, you'll have to face.These products work well with multiple tom cats.

[love-laika]

As a companion to what I posted last night, here are all of the games I played this year! I’m not ready to pick a favorite yet, but you can probably draw your own conclusions from this list.

First, the games I did manage to finish

Inside is really short but totally wild. A solid if occasionally frustrating platformer that is more about dystopian horror, but like in a quiet way. It uses every second with purpose and is much better for it. I never played much of Limbo, but I think I enjoy the atmosphere of inside much more. It's really scary!!! 

i "finished" playing Starlight Stage (as much as one can) this year too. The rhythm game is pretty fun but I'm just so tired of mobage/gacha stuff. It takes up so much time and just makes me stressed. I'm tired. But if you like idol games, and haven't tried it yet I highly recommend! It's a great time to jump in 

Hiveswap! You're all probably pretty tired of my Homestuck talk, but it's a great adventure game. I hope future chapters will continue to be fun and creative and silly (and eventually probably break my heart)

Wolfenstein 2: a game that juggles lots of ideas and delivers on most of them. It deserves kudos just for being willing to tackle prickly subjects (like America’s horrific past). The shooting is fun but way too hard. Play it on easy. And no spoilers but the ending sucks, in multiple ways kinda. The set pieces around the midsection just had my jaw on the floor though

It's strange to have a brutal FPS where the story is better than the shooting in some places?

Last for beaten games is Heat Signature (again as much as you can beat a randomly generated roguelike). I am SO into its approach to stealth, where basically you are urged to think on your feet and adapt to changing situation. the simple fact that you can stop time for as long as you want and just think is really great. its less about execution and more about doing the right sequence of events for the situation

Some of my fav game moments came totally unscripted from me taking on a really tough mission and just getting out by the skin of my teeth

Now for the probably really long part, stuff I didn't finish. I'm bad at finishing things (anything) so it's not that I hated these games, but I do generally have more mixed feelings

An older game I played a lot was Burnout 3 and like that game is *chef kiss*. I used to be WAY into racing games, so this really scratched that old itch. It is, dare I say it, the best racing game I've ever played. It strikes that really perfect balance of control and chaos for each race. The AI is super aggressive so have to play offense and defense equally to get ahead. The triumph of getting gold in a difficult race is just exhilarating

I had a specific moment where it was just me and one other guy duking it out for first. He was way ahead after I got in a bad crash so for the final lap I was boosting all the way, cutting every corner, and drifting around every bend to catch up. Then finally just seconds from the checkered line, I nudged him into an oncoming car and finished. I was fucking hooting and hollering in my room at 2 in the morning

The only reason I haven't finished is that there's no real rush to. There's no story to get to, just a larger collection of cars and tracks. It’s always ready for me when I decide to come back

(brief aside) I opened up Burnout Paradise after this and while the open world is really cool to explore (one of the best for driving) it doesn't give me the same adrenaline rush. It’s too easy and the AI is not nearly as vengeful

Night in the Woods I started in like February and have barely touched and I feel SUPER bad about that. It's a good game, but I think I might be kind of afraid to play it... at first I related a LOT, maybe too much, to Mae. As the game goes on and begins to seriously judge her it started to make me seriously uneasy. I'm afraid to confront my problems and it felt like the game was calling me, specifically, out for that. Which I mean the writing must be pretty good then. I’ll get back to it... eventually

Of the games I'm bad at finishing, visual novels are probably at the top of that list just because of how long they are and the relatively low amount of direct participation. but VA-11 Hall-A is really good!!!! It's just a really solid cyberpunk bartending simulator. And Jill is like my favorite protag this year. did you know I had never seen blade runner before this year?

The reason I dropped off a bit is that I had computer problems and lost some saves. I’d need to go through like 2 hours of stuff I already read. but. Words are failing a little bit. The writing is just good y’all

The further I get from Persona 5 the less I'm in love with it. Once you get past the fantastic music and slick graphics... the writing is just kind of bad. Characters feel kind of hollow and it sends really REALLY mixed messages and society and conformity. It could be the script or just the translation but everything just comes out sounding bad. After 100 hours, forgivable flaws just get grating. I'm in the last dungeon and I don't think I'm going to finish it

Just like put a hold on Nier: Automata for me. I've started but I haven't really gotten to the parts where it supposedly kicks into gear. 2B is hot though

Breath of the Wild has got to be like, the pinnacle of open world design right? A lot has been said about Zelda so I’ll skip the main stuff. My favorite thing is how physical your interactions with the world are. The game encourages you to play with its systems and see how they interact. Drop food into a fire to cook it a shocked enemy will drop their gear, water and metal will conduct electricity, tame your horse by riding it and correcting when it veers off the path etc.

I played just a little bit of LISA too. I like its really dark sense of humor, but the game also feels like it is sometimes actively discouraging you to play. It's interesting!!

Lastly is Metal Gear Solid V. I've thought a lot about this game because it succeeds and fails in a lot of weird ways. For now, just know this. The stealth is so good it got me to buy all of the previous games just so I can understand the series better (though I have played MGS 1 before my thoughts are basically the same as this)

The final game I played this year is Super Mario Odyssey literally this morning so I got nothing to say on that one

jesus christ there were so many games in 2017 and yet I'm still going back to ones made years ago

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Unforseen Chasm (Part 65)

Part 65 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 4392 Warnings: Language, enter Morgan Stark, confusion, polyamourous relationship (Bruce x OFC x Tony),  5 yr explained, lying and deception, anger, yelling, swearing, making up  Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Everyone had gotten back to the cabin. You’d said hello to Tony, but Shannon’s daughter was nowhere to be seen. You saw Bruce for a fleeting moment but he was retreating when you saw him. Wade and Remy were inside with Tony, catching up, you assumed. 

They had explained to you exactly what happened and why they thought they had a chance now. Scott Lang, someone who you’d fought during the Accords, had theorized time travel. Tony, being the genius he was, had figured it out. 

You and Shannon were sitting out on the back porch of the cabin enjoying tea. 

“So, Y/N, where have you been all this time?”

You shrugged slightly as you answered, “You found me, or at least Wade did. You must have some idea…”

“I wasn’t sure if he was going to find you, to be honest. It always seemed like you were two steps ahead of me.”

“Imagine that, me beating the trained spy at evasion.” You smirked at the thought. Perhaps some of the tricks Loki had taught you regarding disappearing had paid off. “If you must know, I mainly toured Europe for a few months. Remy found me early on and we went exploring... in honor of Loki. After that we lived in New Orleans, started to build a life... it became too much so I kind of went rogue and then met up with Clint....” You left her to fill in the dark details before perking up and asking, “How about you? You’re out here in this paradise with Tony and apparently a child?”

“Yes you did manage to evade a spy. If I'd had the chance to go out and find you myself but then Morgan happened and with the ba---" 

Bruce walked up the steps with Morgan swinging on his arm. "Hey babe, hope I'm not interrupting." Bruce kissed her cheek. "Hey, Y/N. How you feeling?"

Your jaw dropped. You couldn’t help it. What...was going on here? Bruce and Morgan being close didn’t quite surprise you. Bruce was close with Shannon and Tony, but… Kissing Shannon on the cheek? What the hell was all that about?

"I’m a little bruised and worse for wear but... how.. are you?" You couldn’t tame your confusion. “This must be little Morgan," you said, trying to ignore your growing confusion, and focus on the little girl you had yet to meet. She had Tony’s hair, but Shannon’s eyes and nose. 

Morgan asked, “Mommy, who's she?” 

“This is Y/N, she's your aunt, the one I told you about?” Shannon explained as she pulled her close to her.

Morgan looked from her mother to you. “Hi there,” she greeted in a quiet voice, waving as she climbed into Shannon’s lap. 

This was absolutely surreal. Shannon was a mother? You had no doubt she was fantastic at it, but she had a five year old you didn’t know about? 

"This is Morgan, your niece. You’re probably wondering how this is even possible right?" Shannon asked, a bit of mischief in her voice and eyes. She was brushing her fingers through Morgan’s hair.

With Morgan around her, she was absolutely glowing. It suited her. It completed her. 

"Uh... yeah I thought... well I thought the Red Room removed... the possibility?" You were trying to delicately put it since a child was nearby, all while greeting Morgan physically by shaking her hand and smiling at her. 

Bruce noticed the confusion on your face. "I'll leave you three to talk." He kissed both Morgan and Shannon on the forehead. "Let me know when you're hungry, okay, kiddo?" 

“Okay,” she answered with a grin. 

"Well yeah, they did take away my ability to be able to but I was a step ahead I had someone be the holder for my eggs and Tony’s sperm. I knew what they were going to do and I knew in the future I might want kids so I had some eggs removed and stored for later.”

“So did you have Morgan the natural way or was she one of the eggs?”

“Once Tony and I moved into the cabin we figured we'd try to start a family and he knew I'd done this, so we found a way for me to get a uterus transferred into me and here we have Morgan.”

“That's really good. I'm happy for you. But I'm still a little confused on you and Bruce and Morgan. How does all that work?” you stressed. Your best friend having a child you didn’t know about was hard enough, but now it seemed like she was with Bruce too?

“Well Morgan is mine and Tony's child. Bruce is a whole other thing. Bruce is my partner. I wouldn't say husband because he and I aren't married.”

“So you and Tony and Bruce are all... Together? How did that happen? I can't imagine Tony letting you look at anyone, let alone be with anyone.”

“No he’s not like that. Yeah he gets jealous and after a round of fighting, those two settled things down and came to an agreement.”

“But.... how did that even come about? I mean I’ve known you have loved both for quite a while but how did the option of you being with both even get approached?”

She shrugged, as if it were simple. “We both trust Bruce and knew his intentions were pure and  by then I was already pregnant with Morgan.”

“You started... going together when you were pregnant? That's...crazy... “ You sat there completely dumbfounded at this news.

“Honestly after their fight, they went off somewhere to talk and came back and they told me that they would figure something out. And then Tony came to me and told me that if I wanted to be with Bruce I could.”

"Got the best of both worlds, huh?" you mused.

“I know this is all much to process. But I do have a question to ask, what are you going to do if we succeed and bring everyone back? What happens with you and Remy? Will you continue to be with him, Loki, or both?” She peered at you, carefully taking your response in.

Sucking in a breath, you answered, "I hadn't thought about it. When you said there was a chance... to be honest I stopped thinking about anything else and Loki came to mind. So... we'll just have to see." You sighed. This wasn’t a subject you were ready to address or even think about in the slightest. "I’m happy for you, Shannon though. I really am... Do you think we have a shot though?"

“I think we do. There’s a sure shot that it can go one of two ways and I'm keeping my mind on the positive. We'll be testing this theory soon. I have this gut feeling that things will turn out how we want. She touched her stomach but not in a way that it would make her baby bump noticeable. 

You narrowed your eyes. “I hope they do. I’d love to be involved in the testing if possible. I’m not sure if any of my physics knowledge can help, but I could try if you want.”

“I'm sure the boys would appreciate the help. And if you really want to test it out yourself go for it.”

------------------------

Few days passed and things were going well, at least Shannon thought so. She'd been able to hide her baby bump from you for a while but it was getting harder to do so. Both of her men told her she should tell you but she didn't know how you would react. Morgan was one thing. It had already been done, she was born, growing up - it was a done deal. But being  pregnant again , but another man? She felt like it would be rubbing it in your face that she was moving on and you were doomed to live in the past.

On the morning before the test run, Shannon had been in the kitchen. Everyone was busy and she tried to reach for a glass for her drink but her belly wasn't giving her space to do so. 

You were passing by the kitchen when you noticed Shannon was struggling to grab a glass. You giggled as you always thought it was cute how short she was. You decided to help her. You walked around the island and that’s when you realized something. She couldn't reach it because her belly was swollen.... She was pregnant.

A glass dropped from your hand as you gazed down at the bump. It had barely started to show but it was very real. The glass hit the counter then the floor, shattering everywhere.

"You.... you’re pregnant?" you gasped. “Why… Why would you keep that from me?” you wondered, shocked and hurt. 

“Y/N!” Shannon jumped back away from the broken glass. “You scared me.” She grabbed her hoodie and put it on.

“What’s the point in the hoodie, Shannon? I already saw it!” you stated hastily, anger in your voice. “What the hell? Why would you hide this?” 

Shannon was tugging at her hoodie. “You’re right, there’s no use in hiding it.” She lifted the sweater to touch her belly. “I didn’t want you to feel upset about this. I know just how much you wanted to start a family with Loki and it just seemed unfair to you.” 

At Loki’s name, you stiffened, not to mention the truth of her words. 

Just then all four men ran in and a little Morgan did too 

“What happened!?” Both Tony and Bruce yelled.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“Looks like someone’s getting too big to reach the top shelf,” Wade joked.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Remy asked, getting to your side.

You nodded, brushing him off. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” you gently assured. “Shannon?” you prompted again, ignoring nearly everyone else as you stared at her, pain snaking through you. 

Shannon was always in tune with your emotions, she could sense the anger trying to bubble so she let her calm powers wrap around you to not make things scary for Morgan’s sake. 

“Mommy’s fine, Morgan. Can you go with daddy please?” She pointed to Tony. “Y/N, let’s not make things be something they’re not.” She motioned to Morgan in the room. 

Your eyes quickly darted to Morgan. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt Morgan or anyone else, Shannon. Regardless of what I’ve been doing the last few years, I would never let that happen. I’ve gotten control over my powers, a lot better. None of this changes the fact that you hid your child from me. You’re pregnant and you haven’t had the decency to mention it to me? But you tried to tell me I wasn’t being a good sister?” 

“You left, Y/N! For five years! How was I supposed to tell you?” Shannon exclaimed. “It was so hard tracking you down. No one told you to go AWOL. You could have stayed here with Remy and been with family and friends and you would have gotten to see everything happen.” Her voice began to waiver so she stopped and took a deep breath. “When I needed you most, you were gone and with no way to locate you.”

Anger enveloped you, you were seething. “When you needed me most?” you stressed. “I needed you! I left because it was so god damn suffocating being around this. You have Tony, Bruce… everyone. You hardly lost anyone. I lost almost everyone and that grief was too much to process in the face of all this happiness. I couldn’t grieve in peace knowing all of you were happy, pressing on. When Thanos used the stones for the last time, and we lost, like really lost, I didn’t know what the hell to do, so I left. I’m sorry I missed the last five years, but clearly, you more than made up for it with a full life!”

It was Shannon’s turn to get angry. She'd kept this hidden long enough and she wasn't about to let this slide.

“My son was taken from me!” she screamed. She finally let it out and with it, the dam broke loose. “We lost our parents and sister too!”

You frowned, utterly lost. “You… What? Your son? Shannon, who the hell are you talking about?” you wondered. Had she gone mad? “Wait, wait, did you say that our parents are gone?” 

Three sets of parents were lost. Biological and both adoptive. Could it get much worse? 

“Jesus, Shannon, I thought they were still around,” you admitted. You swore she had called to check on them after the snap. 

“I called so many times that I got desperate and went by the house and everything was left as if they had just been doing something but they’re gone. You would have known that but you left. I know you lost a lot but wallowing in the grief was your choice. It’s one thing to lose a significant other but losing a child is above all else.” She wiped the tears off her cheek. “Peter still had his whole life ahead of him but there is no way to replace him. The only family I had left was Tony and you and you left me too.”

You shook your head in confusion. “What… What the fuck does Peter have to do with losing a son? Look, Shannon, I know you and Tony kind of had a soft spot for the kid, and we all miss him but…” 

“Language!” Tony yelled.

“Woah! Even I know not to be a potty mouth in front of the kid,” Wade said as he covered Morgan’s ears.

His words barely registered through you, except faint annoyance.

“You don’t get it do you, Y/N?” Shannon asked. “Peter is our biological son, not some kid we had a soft spot for,” she let out, feeling her knees wobble. 

Bruce instantly noticed and went to pick her up. “Come on, this is too much for you to handle right now.”

“I had no idea… You never told me. How was I supposed to know?” you asked, your voice volumes lower than it was before. “I’m sorry that you lost him, I truly am, but that doesn’t make lying to me about two of your children okay.”

“How could I? You were off the radar, no one knew where you were,” she said. “Tony and I had gotten to—-”

Bruce stopped her. “I think it’s best you rest for a bit before you get into this situation.” He walked out of the kitchen with Shannon in his arms.

“Friday, can you send one of the little bots to clean up the broken glass?” Tony asked the AI.

“Right away sir.”

You looked to Tony with an apology on your face for the glass. He waved it off with a half smile.

“Alright, you little munch,” Wade said as he swooped Morgan off the ground. “Let’s go back to the play house and finish our game, yeah?” 

“Yay! Let’s go now.” Morgan giggled as she’s swung about. Everyone was gone now except you, Tony, and Remy. The fight you just had with Shannon left you feeling like a hurricane just happened around you. 

You glanced to Tony. “Tony, I didn’t know,” you admitted softly. “You know if I knew, I never would’ve... How could she not tell me?” you asked, desperate. “She hid Peter from me, and now this other child she has on the way? Why? Does she not trust me? Am I not family enough?” 

“It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, Y/N, it’s that she doesn’t want to make you feel like you’ve missed out on things you could have done with Loki.” He walked over to you and put his arm around you. “She’s scared that you’ll leave again and this time she won’t be able to find you.” He led you to the living room where Shannon was resting. “Give her a chance to breathe and explain everything okay? We tried to convince her to tell you but you know how stubborn she can be.” He huffed and then patted your shoulder.

“I understand now, she might not trust me… But when Peter was born…” You shook your head. “I guess I’ll give her a chance to explain. It just hurts to think she’d hide the biggest events in her life from me.”

“I know it’s hard to think but our lives have been full of troubles that we couldn't control. there wasn't a moment for us to sit down and unload everything,” he told her and then walked away.

As everyone left the room, you couldn’t help but look around and feel the twinge of envy. Shannon’s life was full. She may have lost Peter, her sister, and her parents, but you lost Loki, Stephen, Charles, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Logan… You were friends with Tony and Steve, sure, but they were Shannon’s, not yours. Tony was Shannon’s husband, and she had him. Steve was her best friend, and she had him. Nat was her best friend, and she had her. Bruce was her boyfriend, and she had him. Now, she had children, two partners, all of her friends, a little slice of hidden paradise. 

You had Remy, and that was great. And you knew you could always come home to Shannon, but ultimately, lining your life up side by side with Shannon’s - one was full of life, love, vibrancy, and one wasn’t. 

You turned to Remy. “She’s got such a full life, even without me,” you noted sadly before looking up at him. “I wonder if she really even needs me.” 

Shannon was the only family you had left. Thor hadn’t talked to you in years, and your biological parents, Frigga, and Odin were dead. Shanon’s parents, your parents, had vanished. 

“Of course she does,” he assured.

“I’m not so sure,” you responded. “She has everyone, and everything she ever wanted…” 

“Chere,” Remy started with a sigh, “family isn’t like money. You can’t spend it and get more to replace it. You mean a great deal to her, and she you. You’re irreplaceable. She might have kids and all these friends, but so do you. You still have Shannon, you have me. I know for a fact you’re friends with Stark and Rogers. You gotta stop focusin’ on what you lost, and remember what you still have.” 

You nodded. He was right. You didn’t like it. It hurt. But ultimately, he was right. It was about quality, not quantity.

-------------------

Bruce and Shannon were sitting on the couch. He had made sure that her vitals were back to normal and that the baby wasn’t affected. Soon enough, you walked over to where they were and sat opposite them so that you could have a moment to speak. 

“I’m going to see if the glass got picked up, then make sure Wade isn’t corrupting our little girl.” He kissed her forehead.

“Sure thing, I’ll shout if I need anything.” “I’m ready to listen, if you’re ready to tell me about Peter,” you gently informed before clearing your throat.

“Where do I even begin?” she stretches out on the couch.

You notice she was not wearing the hoodie anymore.

“A good place to start would be when you had Peter? He’s over half your age and I think I would’ve noticed you being pregnant in college, or during New York, or during prison…” 

“Well all this happened way after college but right before New York,” she said hoping to clear up the when. “When I was in the Red Room program, the final part was having my uterus removed or else I was killed, so I  had some eggs removed before it could be done to me.” She stopped so that this can be processed.

You slowly responded, “Okay.”

“I had about 10 eggs removed and stored for the future if I ever wanted kids.” She explained how life went on like you knew it up until the time that the battle of New York happened. “Tony and I had gotten pretty serious and that's when I came clean and told him about my situation and he started searching for uterus transplants but I wasn't ready to get my hopes up like that you know?”

“Right, of course,” you agreed.

“Tony was understanding so we had a doctor combine our genetics from the egg and the sperm and I was making changes so that the baby would be healthy and with a few of my abilities but something went wrong and it gave him his super strength, the sticky feet thing, and his growth was modified. From there we asked May if she knew anyone who would be willing to be a surrogate and she said she would.”

All you could do was nod as you took this in. 

“Then New York happened and we didn't want to risk Peter being caught up in this so we asked May to watch over him until it blew over but things never got better after that and by then Peter had grown up and we didn't want to mess with how his life was.” She took a break. It was hard to say this, the only people who knew the truth were her, Tony, and Bruce and now she was telling you.

“But he… If he was sixteen when he was… at the snap, how is it possible that you had him in 2012?” Most of this made sense, but you were becoming somewhat confused. 

“The age modifier that I had accidentally given him was like a growth spurt that makes him both physically and mentally older but his true age is still young.” 

Your head bobbed side to side, contemplating this. 

“Then we found out he was Spider-man and things changed. We wanted to protect him at all costs and this gave us a chance to get to know him and start a connection so we could find a way to tell him the truth and then Thanos happened and we lost him and our shot of regaining the years we lost.” Shannon had been rubbing her belly and she wasn't looking at you anymore. She didn't want to cry again thinking of him.

“Oh, Shan, I’m so sorry,” you apologized as you reached over and squeezed her knee.

“That's why Tony was so distraught when Peter turned to dust in his arms.” She held your hand. “As for Morgan, after everything, we found a chance for a uterus transplant and we prayed things would work out and it gave us Morgan and a chance to restart.” She smiled, looking over to you and pointing to the picture of Tony holding little Morgan. “And this is miracle baby Number 2 that is mine and Bruce’s. We haven’t announced the gender yet, I’ve wanted to tell you but you weren’t here and if you came back I was scared that you’d leave again and for good.” Her smile slipped a little thinking that would still happen.

“That’s fair,” you assessed with a bob of your head. “I’m not going to leave again, Shannon. I missed all of you like crazy and to be honest, I’m not upset that you’re surrounded by happiness and love. I’m just upset that I don’t have that. That I miss so many people.” You chewed your lip, toying with your fingers, avoiding her gaze. “See, I dwelled in the past. It wasn’t until just before Wade found me that I’d made the choice to move on. I accepted the fact that nobody was coming back. I grieved, not just for Loki, but for my friends, our friends, the universe’s population. Between believing I didn’t deserve a happy ending and grieving everyone, I couldn’t even see a light at the end of the tunnel until a few days ago. So then I show up here, and you’re just having babies and picking out cabins and shit. It almost looked like to me you didn’t grieve at all. You took no time to mourn for any of the losses that took place.” You shook your head. “That’s why I got mad. Not that you’re happy or that I can’t have it or whatever. But that it looked almost like you didn’t give a fuck that we lost because your life could go on with Tony, Bruce, all your friends and kids…” 

Shannon slowly nodded. She didn’t realize it looked that way. She mourned, of course she did. She just didn’t want to squander away any time she had left. She was lucky to get Tony back and she wanted to make the most of it. 

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking down. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. I just thought it was kind of rubbing it in your face, that’s why I didn’t mention being pregnant.” 

You shook your head, waving her worries off. “I’ll always be happy for you. We took two different paths to cope with the same problem. You decided not to waste any of the time you have left, because life is short and precious. The snap made that more than fucking clear.” You let out a breath. “I left, and Remy and I built a life and after a while, I wasn’t sure I could come back here, and I was filled with so much bitter rage and I needed to take it out on people. I wasn’t sure if there was a place for me anymore, or if I had gone too far to the dark side that you’d want me to stay away. I am happy for you, I really am. I just wish I had the same opportunity is all. And I know I self-jeopardized that when I ran away, but I also know it was cathartic and I needed it. You needed your space to build your family in peace, and I needed my space to grieve.” You gave her a sad smile. “I just hope you can forgive me.” 

“Y/N, you know your points are valid and I'm always going to forgive you, you’re my sister and there’s no one else I’d rather want to share my life with.”

The two of you smiled and hugged. 

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