#'but whyd you try it if you didnt want to like it'
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asexualbookbird · 7 months ago
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yall. i keep coming across this thing on instagram, people making "edible cookie dough" out of yogurt and protein powder. well.
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i tried it. and im MAD about it. WHY IS IT ACTUALLY TASTY!!!!! HOW DOES IT ACTUALLY TASTE LIKE MY FAVORITE COOKIE RECIPE!!!!!!!!!! UNCALLED FOR!!!!!!!
i didnt measure anything but i used fage greek yogurt (ive seen people use cottage cheese as well but uh. no thanks <3), vanilla protein powder (others also use peanut butter protein power and add a scoop of pb), oat flour, brown sugar, and mini chocolate chips.
it tastes like my moms oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to the point where my mom said "wheres the coconut?" because her recipe adds shredded coconut
yeah the yogurt adds a Tang to it, but the oat flour does SUCH a good job i dont care. what the fuck. i hate this. fitfluencers you win this round.
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ratatatastic · 29 days ago
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scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god
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apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.
i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au
ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks
anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.
Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.
Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.
It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.
It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.
Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.
Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."
It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—
You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.
And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.
Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"
Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—
Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.
Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.
"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.
"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."
"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.
"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."
"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.
"Be gentle, I bruise easily."
"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."
"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.
"Line like fishing?"
"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"
"Yes, yes, that."
Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."
"Doing the thing."
Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.
"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.
And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.
"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.
"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.
"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.
"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.
"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."
Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.
"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."
"Is that bad?"
"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.
So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.
"Oh, hilarious."
"If I was funny I would say jock."
"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."
"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"
"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.
#ask#instead of actually writing the things i wanted to get done i did this instead thanks guys#not to “controversially new hot younger girlfriend” maffhew but im gonna#timeline here doesnt make sense like quote wise so like you know#chat... matthew was not joking when he said well be seeing more of each other#he was fully intending to sit on that knot the first time he saw sasha#sasha is just dumb#god can you just imagine the ways in which maffhew would drive this nice polite alpha absolutely insane#can you imagine the way sasha accidently brushes his hand across the back of his neck because hes trying to wrap an arm around his shoulder#in camaraderie and sasha is so apologetic about it because dynamic classes in finland are intense and hes so remorseful about it#and then in the midst of all that maffhew just turns into this little purr machine and sasha is like oh i think i touched a button i should#not have touched at all oh god oh fuck#and maffhews like mmm? whyd you stop#pan to sasha silently freaking out#not to say sasha doesnt enjoy scruffing his omegas because they love it but he hasnt met one who enjoys it as much as maffhew does#and it kinda fucks him up#also speaking to ekky getting used to maffhews scent like oh boy i can see sooooo many ways that can go down like maffhew is respectful#of ekkys boundaries but also at some point ekky has had enough time to mope and for lack of a better word he does need to grow up#which is why maffhew starts off subtly you know standing on the dman side of the lockers for a few minutes. chatting up the guys over there#before ekky walks in you know leave a ghost of his scent around. its not strong and its not offensive but it certainly is there#eventually he just full on starts chucking his dirty socks at ekky after games#going oops sorry missed the bin didnt mean to snipe you (he absolutely did. he gets extra points if he hits ekkys face!)#sometimes a stray jersey too. if he really wants to make ekky mad he will just slingshot his biohazard-in-training-jock over.#i also think when ekky gets the yips when he starts pacing a little harder than usual when his chuckles turn a little too nervous#maffhew has enough and just like a worried hen of a men just manhandles ekky around in his arms and shoves at him till he puts his nose#in his neck and ekkys arguing the whole time like this isnt necessary im fine-#and matthews like right im sure thats why your teeth are chattering worse than a fucking woodchipper eh?#ekky cant really reply to that and maffhew tells him to just shut up and start sniffing#and it does help and he hates that he admits maffhew was right that he just needed to be clucked over by another omega#opening yapdoras box the lot of you. utterly awful. I HAVE THINGS TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO
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dandy-lad · 7 months ago
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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lateatnewyork · 4 months ago
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CAN'T A GIRL APPRECIATE HER BOYFRIEND? 001
pairing: oscar piastri x hamilton!reader (briefly mentioned)
summary: yn is not afraid of being horny on main for her boyfriend.
extra information: - (this is js a funny one)
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mclaren
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liked by ynhamilton, scuderiaferrari and 380,487 others oscar piastri and lando norris in the ice bath ! view comments
ynhamilton THAT JAWLINE OH MA GAWD ➥ ynhamilton cut me with your jawline pls ➥ zakbrown yn pls refrain from injuring our driver or yourself user08 i made it before yn ?! ➥ ynhamilton no you didnt try harder averagef1lover waiting to see yn's unhinged comments landonorris i look so good 🤭 ➥ ynhamilton oscar looks better🤤 ➥ landonorris 🫠 danielriccardo how did u get oscar in there ➥ mclaren rubber ducks 😓 ynhamilton i literally love you oscar jack piastri ➥ oscarpiastri i love you too yn hamilton
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ynhamilton
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liked by susiewolff, alexanderasaintmleux and 508,983 others hey baby run him off the track pls?? ill give u head view comments
user09 YN THIS IS CRAZY??!! totowolff zakbrown please tell your driver not to listen to his crazy girlfriend ➥ zakbrown no ➥ ynhamilton susiewolff HE CALLED ME CRAZY ➥ susiewolff toto you're sleeping on the couch ➥ totowolff WHAT ➥ georgerussell LMAO alexalbon yn this is another stage of wildness logansargeant THIS IS SO OUT OF POCKET fernandoalonso what is 'head'? ➥ ynhamilton FERNANDO LOOK AWAY maxverstappen finally we agree on something oscarpiastri babe i cant do that (promise?) ➥ ynhamilton promise 🫶 averagef1lover poor lewis doesnt even know he bouta get run off the track ➥ oscarpiastri i wont actually do it ➥ ynhamilton 🤨
ynhamilton
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liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe and 537,482 others oh he definitely got head for that 🤭 view comments
lewishamilton YN WTF ➥ ynhamilton WHYD U UNBLOCK ME ➥ lewishamilton COS I FELT BAD ➥ ynhamilton mum told you to didnt she ➥ lewishamilton yeah .. oscarpiastri ur so pretty ➥ ynhamilton I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OSCAR PIASTRI liked by oscarpiastri and 5089 others landonorris ok but the middle photo lowk ate ➥ ynhamilton thank u for appreciating my photography skills ➥ landonorris your welcome alexalbon oh! ➥ ynhamilton your gf wants me ➥ alexalbon WHAT ➥ lilymhe its true 😞 alexanderasaintmleux marry me?? ➥ ynhamilton gladly bbg ➥ alexanderasaintmleux 🤭 ➥ charlesleclerc 🤨 ➥ oscarpiastri 😭
a/n this one was a bit silly | guys i forgot to put the verified mark after the first thread pls ignore that
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midnightblues444 · 1 year ago
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Meanie weanie |
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Executive Ran x executive! Reader
Summary: after years of banter you've learnt not to take anything that Ran Haitiani says seriously, but cant help but wonder when the jokes end
Tags: smut with plot, workplace romance,
Sorry for being so inactive guys!! But here's a little thing
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The cool evening breeze softly decorates your skin with goosebumps. The balcony you found refuge on is mostly empty, guests spaced out in huddles of conversation while you gingerly sip on a sweet cocktail.
"Mind if I join you there darlin?" the voice is male, annoying, you can tell as he saunters closer. You raise your brows without a word, raising your glass to your lips.
"So, you here with anyone?" He tries to be smooth
"No actually" you mumble, rubbing your slightly cold arms
"Ah so what brings you here then if not a date?"
"Business, its my company's event, so not really here for fun" your sips turn to gulps, you want this conversation to end
"Ah cmon theres room for a little fun right?" He shoots again, with a loopy grin
"Well I was having some fun before you showed up" you give him a look, turning to face him with as much annoyance you can muster. The offence paints his face as he prepares to say something else.
"Ohh ouch, she got you there man" the familiar sound of Ran Haitianis deep voice,of course, as if he just appeared. The man huffs, embarrassed to say anything else, you motion with your hands for him to shoo and glare before he leaves.
Ran turns to you with a pleased look on his face.
"You're so mean miss (name), it's hot"
You take a sip and glare at him over the rim of your glass, Ran Haitiani, your fellow executive who knows no bounds, hes beautiful unfortunately...tall, not too slender, with sleepy lilac eyes, tonight his dress shirt clings by his shoulders and his sleeves are rolled halfway up his forearm, revealing his tattoo.
Hes a flirt, a reputable man whore, you've tried to stay away from romantically. Being cautious not to fuck your colleague even though hes as fuckable as this. Although youve been testing your luck with some flirting, harmless banter, you call it.
"your dance card full?" He grins,
"Yes actually, theres a line of gentlemen waiting for my hand" you sigh giving your voice an exaggerated trill, putting your glass down
He grins wider, taking your hand in his, like a victorian gentleman, "then they'll have to wait longer hmm?"
Dancing with Ran felt like one of those moments where you catch yourself thinking he might genuinely like you. That the flirty banter is laced with hidden feelings hes scared to admit,
Its in the way his eyes never leave your own, his hand on the small of your back guiding you to the music, he doesn't make awkward small talk instead he makes fun of some poor passersbys and you laugh quietly trying to not make it obvious your laughing at a target.
It's nice, until the the songs over and Yuki,a woman from the company's catering service asks to steal him from you, just for a moment of course, forcing you to leave the dancefloor.
Hes not yours, you know that much, but cant ignore the feeling you get in your stomach when you notice his hand placement , finding yourself stomping back to your hotel room. Its moments like these where you hate company trips, wishing you could be in your own bed sulking for as long as you pleased.
You exit the elevator, deciding to take your heels off before continuing on. Sudedenly hearing your name get called from behind you. Ran, once again just appearing. You roll your eyes as he gets closer.
"Why'd you go?" He tries to hide that hes panting
"Did you take the stairs?" You avoid his question
"Elevator was occupied." hes quick "whyd you go?"
"Just felt like it"
He gives you a look, he doesn't buy it
"I mean...I'm pretty tired and Yuki came so I just didnt feel like standing there and if I went back to our table, the rest of the guys would probably tease me about us dancing together- and I really am not in the mood for that and... why are you looking at me like that"
Hes staring at you, no, hes gazing between your eyes and lips. Hes amused, grinning. "Jealousy makes you look super kissable" he smiles
"Stop just saying nonsense" you correct him rolling your eyes
"I never just say anything miss (name)" he steps closer
You huff in disbelief, looking away, when his hand suddenly on your chin turns you to face him "stay still, and ask me to kiss you"
Your breath hitches, you stare at him and then his lips, your heart races. You know hes being serious and this is now a moment of truth.
"Kiss me then Haitaini"
He grins so hard you feel it deep into the kiss, he kisses you tenderly, his fingers tracing your jaw and cheeks. Your hands gently hold his wrists, yet find themselves around his neck as it deepens.
You feel dizzy when you pull away, breathless, eyes opening slowly, "shall we move then" you sigh, with a gentle chuckle he laughs too.
In your room, he can barely stop kissing you, groaning onto your mouth, through the door to the edge of the bed.
You begin unbuttoning his dress shirt, discarding it. You kiss his chest and neck while undoing his belt. He gets out of the pants, and is left in just his black boxers.
You push him so that hes laying back on the matress, watch me, you wordlessly command. turning so he can unzip the dress. You slip the straps off each shoulder and let the thing fall down to your ankles, watching how his bulge grows.
You unclip your bra, and slip out of your panties. Hes jerking himself breathless, as you climb over him. Sitting cutely on his dick, you grind your hips teasingly as he groans, you kiss him boldly now, continuing grinding, you can tell he can barely focus by the way he sighs deeply.
You suck hickies onto his skin, and begin guiding him inside you, finally sinking down completely, you both let out a drawled "fuck". As you begin to bounce, desperate to keep the friction.
He chuckles at your whines, bringing one hand to thumb at your clit roughly and the other to take charge of the pace, thrusting upwards to your spot almost desperately.
He moans your name so sweetly each time you clamp down on him. And you feel your brain go to mush at how deep inside you he reaches, filling you up so good, your moans being paired with the sound of skin slapping.
"You drive me crazy" he says, and he means it, his thrusts get messier as he gives give you more,
"so close" you gasp, before you realise it your coil snaps, you arch at the way he doesn't stop and keeps fucking you through it. He finishes soon after you, groaning out curses, you feel his dick spluttering release and it dripping down your thighs.
Your panting as you come down, slowly, laying on him before feeling him turn you over. Climbing over you with his signature grin
"I'm not done with you sweetheart"
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sanjisboyfie · 1 year ago
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one piece smau: married to franky edition
ー franky def a chronic emoji user
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liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, and 9k others
SUPERLOVER: i love treating my husband out for dinner hes my entire world 😍🥰❤️💘
tagged: frankys.favorite
dni_nami: this is what i mean when i say get urself a man w money bc wdym u managed a res at this fancy ass restaurant ????
uso_pp: so this is what u skipped boys night for 🙄🙄🙄
-> roro.zoro: at ur grown age...
-> freeluffy: WHAT DO U MEAN BT THAT ZORO
-> SUPERLOVER: NO ILOVE U GUYS STILL BUT I LOVE MY HISBAND MORE
[liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, ans 90 others]
frankys.favorite: i love u sm handsome
-> SUPERLOVER: hehehe (//∇//)
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liked by SUPERLOVER, freeluffy, and 10k others
frankys.favorite: best details about my husband
tagged: SUPERLOVER
SUPERLOVER: YOU CAN PUT AS MANY STICKERS ON MY TITTIES AS U WANT BBYBOY I LOVE YOU 😫😫😫🫶🏼🤭🤭😻🤖🤖🤖
-> frankys.favorite: 😭😭
-> robinkills: i need u to restrict the usage of emojis on your phone. its getting insane.
dni_nami: whyd i get frankys whole ass tit on my tl bruh
uso_pp: imma bite that 🤭🤭🤭
-> SUPERLOVER: [name]'s done this several times and ive yet to feel anything 😎
-> uso_pp: ayo????
princesanji: a hello kitty tattoo is crazy
-> frankys.favorite: ur def the type to have cinnamoroll tattooed on ur hipbone dont even try it
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liked by robinkills, iceburg, and 10k others
dni_nami: literally told these two to not set off the fireworks and look at them kissing it up. absolutely shameless.
tagged: SUPERLOVER and frankys.favorite
frankys.favorite: what do u mean it was a great light show namiii
-> SUPERLOVER: I MUST AGREE IUR FIREWORKS SHOW WAS SUPPPPERRRR BEAUTIFUL
-> dni_nami: no. it was SUPERRRR disruptive for the whole street
SUPERLOVER: look at my handsome baby. his pretty face👻👻
-> roro.zoro: ur emoji selections r always so unsettling
princesanji: their marraige was a match made in heaven w the way they both are constantly ruining everyone elses night
[liked by SUPERLOVER, frankys.favorite, and 90 others]
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liked by SUPERLOVER, dni_nami, and 13k others
frankys.favorite: get urself a buff man like mine holyyyy shiitttt
tagged: SUPERLOVER
SUPERLOVER: GET YOURSELF A SEXY MAN LIKE MINE HEHEHE 🫸🏼🫷🏼i love u so much
-> frankys.favorite: ❤️
uso_pp: NOOO WHEN U TWO START THIRSTING FOR EACH OTHER U DONT EVER FUCKING STOPPPP
-> dni_nami: time to mute the both of them
freeluffy: i wonder how someone so old like franky is able to keep his body so muscley
-> SUPERLOVER: im not even that old luffy what the fuck
-> freeluffy: ur like 50
-> frankys.favorite: hes 36????
-> freeluffy: same thing!!! :DDD
roro.zoro: how the fuck r u shaped like a dorrito
-> SUPERLOVER: i was crafted by the hands of my lover and molded into be the perfect man for him.
-> roro.zoro: FOR FUCKS SAKE.
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liked by frankys.favorite, dni_nami, uso_pp, and 11k others
SUPERCOLA: finally was able to take my baby out to get him a new car 🏁🚙
tagged: frankys.favorite
frankys.favorite: thank u sm EVEN THO I TOLD U MULTIPLE TIMES U DIDNT HAVE TO but thank u so much i love u
-> SUPERLOVER: of course YOURE MY NUMBER ONE RIDE OR DIE i need to show u how much i love u 💍 i wish i could buy more than this because you deserve so much more my love
[liked by uso_pp, robinkills, and 200 others]
robinkills: this is crazy. but i love it for u two, absolute sweethearts
uso_pp: what about me franky 🥺🥺🥺
freeluffy: i wanr a car too franky 🥺🥺🥺
ttchopper: i want my own car too franky 🥺🥺🥺
frankys.favorite's story
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me n my husband vs the world <3
SUPERLOVER replied to your story: u rlly had the time to snap a pic after all we did last night??? ur crazy and ily
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sereves · 11 months ago
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Tsubaki and Lawless Sibling Headcanons
After reading that meme about what woulda happened if Lawless and Tsubaki were on good terms I had to make these headcanons
This. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about this-  Allow me to do a small rant/analysis-
Lawless is canonically referred to as having a family root according to Gear in this panel
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Yall no one can change my mind Lawless got fat daddy issues that run deeper than a black hole
As shown in these panels he has a deep respect and gratitude to Saint germaine for reviving him, and even goes as far as to lecture Kuro for being "rude"
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I also find it interesting how of all the siblings Lawless is pretty much the only one that was happy to be revived, aside from Ildio who was more or so neutral on his new life. Lawless pretty much took his new life and appreciated his second chance-
Personally in my opinion, I believed because he was a lower-ranking prince who was killed in a conspiracy he may have never gotten a chance to live life? He looks like he died pretty young and since he was a lower ranking prince, he may have lived with a silver spoon in his mouth, but likely was never able to go out to much and was probably very lonely. He probably only had Guil by his side which is why I love and adore their father/brother dynamic 😭
SPEAKING OF BROTHER DYNAMICS- KURO I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU-
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dAWG- WHYD KURO DO HIM SO DIRTY 😭Bro straight up just lost Ophelia, is about to lose his "second father", then gets dumped by his own god damn brother- Like Kuro pretty much told him "we shouldn't have been born". Like bruh lawless got done so dirty in a span of like a week, like even after this he goes back home  Ophelia's kingdom was destroyed 💀
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Also he had to walk to the meeting stop for about 10 days+ and then walked back on his hedgehog stubby legs like is this man okay, IMAGINE WALKING ALL THE WAY ON FOOT AND JUST BEING DUMPED LIKE THAT- no wonder bro held such a fatass grudge against Kuro. Centuries later they meet again and  Kuro really had the audacity to be like, "why u mad at me" as if he didnt kill Saint and told Lawless they shouldn't really exist 😭
Anyways, moving onto the actual Tsubaki and Lawless siblings headcanons-
Lawless desperately wanted a family and tried seeking that through his new found Servamp siblings, but sadly none of them really wanted it aside from Ildio and Freya. Love the headcanon that Freya canonically thinks of Lawless as her "dear brother"🥺
Tsubaki later down the road looks like he craved that too? In fact it looks like he went to every sibling and tried asking them who he was and none of them knew. But what Im curious is about is this
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Lawless already knew about Tsubaki? When we got Lily's POV, he stated that he was visited by Tsubaki, and Tsubaki started laughing because none of his siblings knew about him. Now Im curious, because if Lawless had met Tsubaki in the past, what was it like? Did he just know of Tsubaki from C3? Given the fact that Lawless has spied on them sometimes when he was bored, is that how he found it? But I have a weak heart, so lets make some headcanons on had they met earlier and actually became close.
In a perfect world, Id had pictured Lawless helped Tsubaki escape from C3 and they both became close since both craved familial love. Its been revealed that Tsubaki is trying to protect his little sister so for sure, bros in the same boat as Lawless trying to make found family
There was also an old book called, "The Hedgehog and the Fox" where a quote is stated, "The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing." Reference: https://www.jimcarrollsblog.com/blog/2018/5/23/are-you-a-hedgehog-or-a-fox#:~:text='The%20fox%20knows%20many%20things,various%20wiles%20of%20the%20fox.
I like to think this very similar to Lawless and Tsubaki. Tsubaki, is likely one of the strongest siblings and can clap cheeks instantly. He has many skills and is canonically the only one that can "kill" his siblings, but Lawless is older, so I believe the "the hedgehog knows one big thing" is really cute, but it feeds into the dynamic that, yes although Tsubaki is superior to Lawless in terms of power, he has a lot more to learn.
Considering Tsubaki was locked up in C3 for a while I would like to think Lawless took him out and immediately tried getting him situated in the modern era. Thats my perspective on "hedgehog knows one big thing" like imagine being locked up and experimented for ages, and finally being introduced the modern day, like when was the last time Tsubaki saw the sun 💀
I also headcanon Lawless is probably pretty well off considering hes greed and judging from the fact hes constantly wearing rings and bracelets like I doubt those are fake, and he literally shops at Shibuya. Lawless is canonically a bougie bitch 💀
Please give me cute shopping montage of Lawless dripping out Tsubaki in modern Japanese styled clothing LIKE I WANNA SEE HIM WEARING THIS
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Anyways thats all I have for now, but TLDR: I love servamp sibling interactions, strike please stop depriving us
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fcknstar · 2 years ago
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,, shit affair "
-harryosborn x bc!reader x spiderman/p.p
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a.n : this is a black cat reader shot, and it took like 3 days for me to finish this cause i was like so unmotivated in between writing this. i really really didnt know how to title this so yea.
warnings : manipulation ig? , using someone?
**lowercase intended**
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being harrys assistant and having a secret affair with him is one thing, but being black cat is another. harry knew your identity, well because he was the one that 'made' you. it was when a test induced by kingpin that gave you psionic, feline-based powers and such. harry trusted you, trusted that youd never have the heart to turn you back on him. because if you ever do, he would gladly remind you who you belong to, remind you where you are in life. harry had mainly given you such capabilities because he wanted you to do tasks for him. cliche isnt it? 
in broad daylight, you were you, an innocent assistant. but when the night comes alive, thats when the black cat comes out to play. you often help criminals steal valuable items, steal items for yourself and harry or steal to just dispose them later on. you were doing this to attract the attention of spiderman. harry wanted you to hold spiderman captive after he disagreed to give harry his blood. despite understanding why spiderman chose to do that, you had to please harry. 
for the past few days, spiderman have been on the lookout for black cat. the only reason he patrolled every night is to see you. harry was sure that youd never fall out of love with him, and stay loyal. thankfully you didnt. but to his luck spiderman started growing fond of black cat and her sarcastic remarks. you went out at night as black cat, trying to find spiderman not knowing he is hot on your tail. before you could get any further, he grabbed your wrist pulled you towards his chest. 
" you look lost, kitty " spiderman chukled as he let you go. 
" whyd you disappear all of the sudden, huh? " spiderman advanced towards you, wanting an explanation out of you. 
" why, miss me already bug boy? " you teased. everything was going to plan. you luring him in with the right amount of tease will just get him wrapped around your finger. 
spiderman seemed pleased with your nickname. " woah, i didn't know we were that close " despite the mask covering his face, you could feel the smile that was on his face. 
you werent too far from oscorp, so itd be easy. you just needed to 'steal' something from oscorp, knowing damn well spiderman will be there to follow you like a lost puppy. 
" but yes, i did miss you. " spiderman took your wrist and pulled you towards him when you tried to walk away from him. 
" hm, charming. its a shame i wouldn't be able to see the man under that god damn mask. " you pouted. spiderman sighed. " yea well, i would love to show you every part of me, but i cant. how about we go somewhere private, hm? " that only confirmed your question, spiderman did have something for you. 
" i would love to accept such a generous offer, but i have to go get something, bug boy " spiderman has already let go of you, allowing you to go and run towards oscorp. jumping from building to building gave you some type of adrenaline rush which you loved dearly. harry was currently hiding in the room full of his experiments and equipments, patiently waiting for you and spiderman to show up. 
when your boots clacked through the floors of the empty lobby of oscorp, spiderman asked. 
" why are we here? " he felt uneasy knowing that you were about to steal something from his best friends company. 
" like i told you, im here for something. i mean you can be a good boy and save yourself. " you replied. you knew spiderman too well. even if you were about to steal the most valuable painting, he'll still be with you no matter what. 
and you were right once again, spiderman was still with you. smiling to yourself, you prepared to bring him to the room where harry is in. the only reason why harry is there is to lock the door when you couldn't. basically, harry is there as a back up.
when you stepped foot into the room, you could sense the familiar gaze of your partner. 
" you are going to steal a, i dont know, a venom? " spidermans voice alerted harry. 
" yea well, dont question my desire okay? i heard the ceo here is really hot, maybe if i took something of his, he would probably go find me and you know.. " you laughed, knowing harry heard it. grabbing the jar of venom, spiderman grabbed your wrist. 
" you done? " 
" why, whats wrong? are you scared? " you teased. 
" uh maybe? i mean we are in oscorp, you stealing stuff with me by your side. doesnt that sound weird? " spiderman chuckles nervously. it was out of his behavior to act this way. 
placing the jar back onto the desk next to the containment, you pushed spiderman down onto the desk. 
" tsk tsk, youll be safe okay? " as your hand slowly grabbed the rope underneath the desk, you slowly leaned in. knowing spiderman too, leaned in, you quickly pulled away and wrapped spiderman with the rope.
" w-what are you doing? kitty? " spiderman tried to wiggle out of the rope. 
" im sorry bug boy. " thats when harry showed himself. peters eyes widened beneath the mask. he should have known.
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poisonouspastels · 1 year ago
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HI IM PLAYUING CHICAS PARTY WOLRD ADN I SJU8ST WANTED TO SCREAM IN YOUR INBOX ABOUT HWO I LOVE LOVE LÇOVE HOW YOU CAPTURED TJHE 1990'S 3D ARTSTYLE!! LKE EVER SINCE I PLAYED HALF LIFE 1 AND TFCLASSIC I WONDERED WHYD FNARF FANGAMES DIDNT TRY THIS OUT MNORE (THERE ARE TWO I REMEMEBR THAT DID BUT ONLY THOSE AND THEREY WERE OLD) BUT YOU!!! CAPTURED ALL THAT AND SO MUCH AND MORE AND
i wanna give russel big hug i love hi m:]
for some reason this ask sent twice LOL but hi thank you!!! We didn't lean super hard on any restrictions of a low poly art style in relativeness to consoles at the time (also why the game has its own stylizations like the posterized effect) so it was a neat thing to put together! Glad ur enjoying the game so far!! There's so many Russel fans he is so loved and appreciated
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smolweeblets · 2 years ago
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Look at me in the eyes and tell me youre straight
"Killjoy, be honest, are you gay?"
Her eyes widened and she tried her best to look nonchalant. She slowly turned her head to face you and you could see the almost cartoonish bead of sweat drip down her temple at the question.
“What? Pffft what makes you say that?” Her head tilted and her eye twitched as she asked.
“Ive seen the way you look at the other women in the protocol, not like you like them or anything but i always notice you appreciating their… physical attributes more.” You tried to appear nonchalant as you asked. A difficult feat, considering you felt just about ready to explode from laughter.
“I dont do that… do I?” She paused for a moment as if to think before quickly saying something else.
“Well it's–it's whatever, I am not gay, I just happen to look at them more, nothing different or weird about it,” She waved her hand to convey her answer more. “and why are you even asking me this out of the blue anyway? Why do you want to know, are you gay?”
“I am, and I think you are and i just wanted to know, and you still havent answered my question properly.” You grinned.
“What? I literally just said i wasnt gay” She points out as her brows furrow.
“Hmm well, look me straight in the eyes and tell me you are straight.” You softly smirked.
“What.”
“You heard me, look me in the eyes, and tell me you are straight.”
Sweat trickled down her face despite the cool temperature in the headquarters.
“Why do I need to do that? Y/n this is dumb just let me-” She waved her hands around to dismiss you.
“Why are you avoiding the question? It wouldnt take you even ten seconds if you just decide to do it.” You were grinning at this point, enjoying yourself immensely.
She reluctantly looked you in the eyes, albeit constantly glancing around.
“Not like i need to actually say this but im… not gay.”
“Hm? What was that? I didnt hear you properly.”
“God- fuck you, fine, im gay or whatever. Is that what you wanted to hear?” She scoffed. Her face was red and her eyes were sneering at you.
“Great! Meet me by the barracks on friday night, dress in something nice!” You quickly said as you made your way out the door.
“Wh- HUH?” Her head quickly snapped back to you, and it was almost a miracle how it was still on her shoulders.
“Im taking you on a date! Dont be late please!” You shouted behind the door frame.
“I did not agree to this!”
“We both know you want it, im on a hurry so i had to skip the asking part when i know you would agree.”
“Whyd you ask me the other question if you knew id agree then!?”
“I said i was in a hurry~” You drawled as you quickly left the area while giggling to yourself.
She was sitting in her workshop, tech laying limply in her hand while she processed what she just heard.
She annoyedly grumbled before trying to distract herself with her tech. Cursing something about how she isnt like that.
~~~
She showed up, blushing and in a cute dress.
She looked absolutely stunning.
You made sure to tease her a little about it but you were met with a swift smack to the shoulder. You just laughed harder as she pouted. Gods she was adorable when angry.
“Lets get going shall we? Wouldnt want to be out too late.”
“Yeah, whatever, lets go.” She adorably tried to hide her smile as she unconciously held her hand out for you.
You giggled softly before noticing her hand and holding it in yours. You gave it a small kiss and pat her head with your other hand.
Her face grew incredibly red as she gaped at you.
“Sorry, couldnt resist.” You smiled before dragging her to leave. She covered her face with her other hand and mumbled something too muffled to understand.
Tonight would definitely be fun.
A/n: so this started as sort of crack inspired by a tweet but i kinda took it too seriously so it just turned out kind of weird,, not my best work but yk its okay i think.
Also ik that title is horrible it was better than nothing 🧍‍♀️
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fictionfixations · 10 months ago
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Trials of Change / Naruto Fic (Fic Rec)
summray:
Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life.
Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War.
Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.
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off topic but i am tired and sometimes i hate the panic button on opera gx cause i just accidentally hit f12 and then everything closes and i get a moment of absolute panic of 'oh shit MY TABS'
and then i remember i just need to hit it again to bring it back (man. the first time i discovered this i remember panicking like 'WTF DID I PRESS WHYD IT CLOSE NOOO' and my hand alignment to keyboard was off so thats why i ended up int he f's anyway. and it came back thankfully but oh my god)
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so talking about the fic now
time travel. its not where character is op and fixes everything (although those are enjoyable in their own right)
this is more like. character has all this knowledge (but also doesnt know some stuff or like how things happened)
but also they're. a child. so they dont have the power they had when they were older, so its tough
also i can confidently say this is one of the fics that for one, didnt just make me sob. but i sobbed so much i had to take a break. and then i got distracted and came back feeling better and less like i want to cry every second (and then i wanted to cry again but oh my god im running low on tissues)
this is just book one though so theres more. im gonna hceck it out in a second but. go give it a shot if you like naruto fics and time travel.
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thatonegaybastard · 2 years ago
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you cant see this well but thats because I started to do lines and didnt like then so I gavw up
this isnt final bc idk if this os originalpr oreso concept art to try and get ahold of elis design in this ahich I am failing to do
expliation under the cut also pla spoilers
thiss isblike an au where after the sky turned red and eli got banished and rejected volo didnt manage to find him in time and eli decided "actually I dont need the pearl clan I dont need the diamond clan I need arceus and I definitely dont need the galaxy team. im gonna go make myself a house deep in the woods where nobody will be able to bother me and live out my life peacefully with my friends the pokemon" and proceeds to go get lost in the woods somewhere and nobody finds him for a really long time
he does make a hut shack thing to live in and ge kinda just lives in the woods and off the woods like a wild pokemon and he also finds some zorua whose ziroark died or something so eli basically adopts them
eli may or may not kinda die. idk if I want to do that yet but I guess he does. their body changes overtime like their hair gets waaaaay longer and theirfingers get kinda clawed but they dont really notice and elivslowly starts becoming likr a zoroark without realizing it, his pokemon his pack. he'd protect them with his life. theyre his only companians afterall, the only ones be needs.
also he probably throws thecarc phone away
somehow
uhh design things
he gets paler and his hair goes white except at the ends
his hair grows like comically large. he wants to cut it but he doesnt have scissors. its kinsa cool.
ditched the galaxy team uniform fpr his casual clothes but he kept the hat and scarf because it looks cool
scarf is kinda torn to resemble the wispy part of a zorua or zoroarks hair strand things
starts slouching more
hands become nlre like claws
he getsbmore aggresive and territorial and protrctige
he can still speak like. person and stuff but he kinda forgets he can do that because he never talks to people
uhz thats the thing so far whyd this take so long to type
if someone did something like this please lmk
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slytherinshua · 4 months ago
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GET ZB1 AN ACTING CONTRACT RN. RN.
I don't keep up with their activities that much like I'm there for cbs, but like y'know I don't watch all their content and stuff, BUT I JUST WATCHED THE CINEMA PARADISE TEASER FILM AND?????????????????? IT'S SO???? GOOD?? OMFG wow I think this cb is going to be really cool I can't believe they're having one so early like they just wrapped up in may and like 4 months later they have a other mini it must be so hectic. But the vibes are immaculate this time actually it's giving cix debut (movie star) lowkey
ANYWAY I'M SO EXCITEDDD MATTHEW'S NARRATION WAS SO GREAT ACTUALLY
-🪿
NO FR CAUSE I JUST WATCHED IT AND I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO BE THAT GOOD SOMEONE GIVE MATTHEW HIS FLOWERS BECAUSE UR TELLING ME HE WROTE THAT NARRATION AND HE DELIVERED THE LINES WITH SUCH EMOTION ??????? IM STUNNED HES LITERALLY PERFECT HES AMAZING
yeah same :(( i want to watch more content from them but i rarely do i'm mainly just here for the comebacks BUT I SRSLY AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB!!! also agree their cb schedule is insane.... i feel like wakeone is just trying to get as much money out of them as possible while they're still around 😭😭😭 IT IS GIVING MOVIE STAR SKDJFH#U&@Y$#R*GV$UEIHUWEQF GOODBYE WHYD YOU PUT THAT THOUGHT IN MY HEAD??????????
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livecharliereaction · 4 months ago
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this was ok and nice i like u I do have beef with out of game stuff like this since oneshot (I sorta just associate it with that and well i didnt like oneshot.) (Ok oneshot tangent lets go)
(Let it be known i only played like one ending i did not like it enough... Id almost say i hated it but that seems harsh and its been a while since i played it and i dont really remember the reasons i didnt like it. Lot of it was about the map design it wasnt intuitive to me i was younger though i wasnt very smart then... So maybe it was just unfortunate timing. Its not the kinda hate thats justified or anything im sure its a nice game in reality. But the taste left in my mouth was bad. ANYWAY they did a lot of messing around with the windows and shit which is like cool i guess but since it was the only thing i was impressed by it sort of somehow makes me roll my eyes now. Like yeah i get it you can mess with things its a computer now can we have a better story. I remember thinking the god thing was obnoxious also i guess i am a bit of a escapist like i do not want to play games that are about ME i want to be an OBSERVER if its a STORY like i dont really like it when games let you name the protagonist etc etc i have yet to come across a game like that that i LIKED. Something about the way oneshot adressed it was just super annoying to me and i dont remember why. But the cats cute i guess)
This is off related after all because to be honest? Theyre doing the exact same thing here arent they they DO address the me, the charlie But for some reason it DOESNT annoy me? Im guessing its just cos they dont shove it in my face a lot. Its mostly used to distinguish like gui and meta stuff from things that are said to The Batter it doesnt bother me... Like theyre not trying to make me responsible for him or to make it as if i AM him its separate enough. I dont know man. OH NOW I REMEMBERED
SOMETHING I HATED IN ONESHOT: NO SAVE FILES. WHYD YOU DO THAT! I get it in terms of the script bullshit they do it probably wouldnt have done too well in that. But at least do like save points or something. It was similarly structured in which i did NOT have fun with the first part (same as zone 1 but like worse) and then at the end it makes u do the choice and then it just goes Teehee do new game+ now and like. I dont know, i never did it, so i cant KNOW that they make you do all the boring parts again But just the thought of it made me mad enough to never pick that game back up.
I dont know. Bye oneshot back to off
0 notes
weed666 · 11 months ago
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man :/ trauma stuff uwu
thinking about how when i was 15 i dated a fictive who was 16 but was bodily 18 but like the host also had a crush on me and wanted to date me but i told her i didnt feel that way about her and she LITERALLY said like "i dont understand, youre supposed to like me back!" and like had a breakdown over me not liking her back. but i continued to date her headmate and be tentative friends with her. what a fucked up era of my life god damn. was gonna say "whyd i do that" but its because i was 15. more like whyd SHE do that. she was 18 and out of high school and had a job and i was a sophomore in highschool. hello???
like looking back on it, its now COMEDIC how she literally did the "but you were nice to me. youre supposed to like me back. thats how this works. i dont understand." and i, a 15 year old, had to tell her, an 18 year old, that she was not entitled to me liking her back just because i was nice to her. a 15 year old should not have to do that. a 15 year old should especially not have to remain kind while doing that, but i did.
and she just did so much fucked up stuff too while i was dating her headmate like she made me uncomfortable constantly bc she would talk about sex and i, a 15 year old sex-repulsed asexual, told her to not fucking do that, and she would get upset and offended that i set that boundary. and would frequently break it after the fact.
another thing that i can now see as comedic is that. ok so the fictive in question that i was dating was vriska. and like a few months before we met, i had also formed a vriska fictive, and knew it was a plural thing, but was syscoursed out of knowing this, and instead was just like "im kin with vriska and have 'kinshifts'" but i was kind of secretive about it for a while because, yknow, everyone hates vriska. i didnt want my friends to know. so i started dating this vriska fictive and i remember she was like. uncomfortable with the fact that i cosplayed vriska. and in my head i was like LMAO IF U THINK THATS BAD WAIT TIL YOU HEAR THAT SHES LIVING IN MY HEAD. but i never told her. lol.
idk why im posting all of this i guess i just want to be like. seen. bc yeah that was definitely abuse and like. idk attempted grooming??? like she was definitely trying to make me comfortable with talking about sex with her but i wasnt having that shit.
anyways. lalalalala im gonna go back to reading now
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cardboardslugs · 1 year ago
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I did some searching because I didn't want to ask on ao3 and potentially spoil anyone, hope that's ok! I wanted to know if you would be ok with sharing the the plot map for Schrödinger's Murder, and/or what you mean about the chapter with Chihiro's parents containing extreme foreshadowing? Hope this isn't too invasive, and I can completely respect if you want everything to be a surprise for everyone!
HEY ANON I WANT TO KISS YOU HOTLY AND WETLY ON THE MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna give you BOTH of your requests, and then some, BUT!!! under the cut bc I also respect the fact some people wanna stay surprised!!! SERIOUS TWs for body horror; sexual assualt; mental illness; physical assualt; euthanasia; and all other tags found on my ao3 fic!!!
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!
OCTOBER 2ND, 2024 EDIT: this plot map is entirely outdated. Some of what is in here is still mostly accurate to what is going to happen. most of it is not. Plots change. the Ending hasnt.
let me establish something before I continue: DR3 the anime did not fucking happen, In this fic. i am going complete and total pre-spike chunsoft sole-aquisition. Nanami was never a real person, Chihiro did not get nerfed by becoming two different characters, and Ryota Mitari does not Fucking Exist. Everyone was manipulated the hard way, Junko is not a tactical mastermind, shes a dumb model with an axe to grind and her dead boyfriend's stolen research notes. lets move on.
okay so, from the point we're at, plot map goes as follows:
Kirigiri has a theory. she's listening to Byakuya and Chihiro recount stories. Hands makoto a bat "Im going to need you to hit me across the head as hard as you physically can. no holding back. dont worry about it."
everyone arguing in the nurses office, chihiro loudly asserting everyone needs to go for a bath. Naked. Completely fucking naked gloves and all miss kirigiri-san!!!!
Byakuya flat out refuses. Toko refuses. Kirigiri refuses. "oh three possible murderers refusing, that's not suspect at all" "none of us murdered anyone. Chihiro's right there" "i am in fact alive. but that's not the point, dumbfucks." AUDIBLE GASPING AT CHIHIRO SWEARING
chihiro manages to convince them all to take a bath. some its more like "gentle persuasion" (sakura throws them in the tub).
Mondo, Chihiro has to drag him there by the ear. also have three other people go with him, because he's been alone in his room for 5 days after now finding chihiro alive, and hes trying to commit die.
"whyd you say you wanna be strong? I would have helped you if thats the case!" "i didnt say stong?? who told you that? I said *masculine*. not strong. that's exactly why i didnt ask you, sakura. it wound be an insult upon insults! im not that foolish!! why would I ever come to a woman for help being a man?!" "... well, great, now I *really* wanna kill myself!!" "sit down oowada, not as bad as I do." "what does that mean?!" "...dont worry about it-"
"great. now that you're all caught up, I need every last one of you to take medium head trauma" "The only thing i have become convinced of is that chihiro is fucking insane. I think mercy killing is in order, lets draw straws" "LISTEN TO ME YOU BRAINDEAD COWS!"
cut to junko enoshima having a very horrible no good day. after a very shitty phone call with kamukura, she's planning to off chihiro her damn self.
class 77 is ballin- by which to say they have been in the building the whole time and theyre feelin the hope baybee!! theyre making plans to ensure Junkos next trial goes south, if 78 cant fuck her up on their own. Peko comes back with news from the bath house, and lies about it to enoshima.
No one with any functional functional braincells agrees to get wacked over the head. Gundam neatly arranges for ceiling tiles and other objects on high shelves to fall for seemingly no reason. :) must be ghosties :) totally not tiny gods what are you talking about :)
junko had given a phone call to kamukura earlier. kamukura is rounding up the hit list victims before getting them out of there before any real harm can come to them. shoves them in a place he'll be able to keep them safe until something good comes- and as a master tactian, he's keeping an eye on the TV. theyre all in bad shape though, bears are not cool fun things. Funny how hope works!! Komaeda Nagito is practically creaming himself. Also is getting his shins beaten in with wiffle bats while making pbj sandwiches for some very bratty chidren of hope.
meanwhile, the gig is up for junko. and NOBODY is happy. junko's plan falls apart at the seams and she got rid of her insurance policy WAY too early. funny how quickly the monokuma bots will turn when she's not in control of them. The ending does not bring her the "despair" she desires-- because she has never experienced actual despair a day in her god forsaken life.
everyone brings their ass to safety, and Byakuya founds the Future Foundation with what's left of reasonable humanity-- but with all the people who got out alive before some REALLY bad shit happened; celebrations are in order. ahh yes. class 77 being the party cat comic once again.
happy 77/78 reunion time!! until they realize that at least half of 77 is HORRIBLY disfigured from things they did to themselves in the name of faux-despair terrorism. Nidai has become terribly weak from his heart condition that he had stopped taking his meds for. Fuyhikos eye is completely gouged out. Ibuki's head is shaved n burned and she has a hard time speaking because she took a chunk out of her tongue and drank a lil bleach, "just a tiny bit!!". Imposter is rail thin, could actually pass for Byakuya if someone bothered to check weight. Mahiru has several chemical burn scars from using photo development equipment as bombs. Mikan going on a full-blown panic attack self-harm-spree, and Kazuichi ate radium.
Chihiro, having remembered how close he was to Kazuichi, is particularly distraught over what's become of him. Chihiro, in all the strength he doesn't have, weakly pounds at kaz's arm-- and instantly breaks it. Chihiro has a breakdown. Kazuichi is not seen for several days, despite people looking for him. He's out eating more radium to speed up the process of it killing him.
Byakuya finally finds Souda and they talk for a little. Kazuichi's skin is sloughing off from him trying to wipe his tears. byakuya promises to take care of chihiro for him. kaz says his jaw hurts. byakuya makes a snide comment, and as kazuichi goes to rub his temples- his jaw quite literally falls off his face. Byakuya has no choice but to call for help- when he finally gets someone on the line, Kazuichi has brought Byakuya to a pipe wrench begging (as much as he can with virtually no tongue) to kill him. Fortunately, it's kirigiri and she's just meeting a hope-filled hinata- andHinata says, with kamukura knowledge, at the point he's describing, if that's how Souda wants to go, so be it.
Chihiro has no idea what happened when they basically come back with Souda's mangled body parts in an amazon box, but distraught is a VERY weak word for it. Byakuya had recorded their conversation, prior to having to call help. hearing Kaz talk doesnt make chihiro feel *good*, but it does put some of his fears at ease.
and the recovery ward is feeling okay enough for guests, at that point!! Kanon is fucking pissed but she and maizonos bitch can go suck my dick this aint about them!!!
good fun family time baybeeeee!!! everyone is excited to see their Most Important Person. there is full blown sob fests. Celestia Ludenberg looks like a KISS oc from ugly crying about her cat. the yamada siblings assert their position as pop team epic. Taka is buttmad only at staff that they saved his father from a stroke. Kenshiro is impressed with sakura. Aoi is about to introduce her brother and is immeadiately shocked sakura has a boyfriend. Pennysworth and Taichi are in a weird argument, that both of them drop upon seeing their respective kids again. Chihiro is just happy to see his dad after such a rough time.
"you're in pants, for once!" "y-yeah. yeah I am." "... I'm not one for praise to others; but you raised a strong son, Mr. Fujisaki" ".. thank you, togami. He's quite the handsome young man, too." Chihiro is openly sobbing. i need to be normal.
the world is starting to be rebuilt. everyone is getting therapy. *EVERYONE*. Byakuya realizes the ENTIRE togami empire fell- and beats the name to plowshears. The chick in that egg is finally out; her name is Polaris P. Polanski and she starts E. conincidentally the same day Chihiro starts T. three years have passed since Kazuichi's funeral, Gundam and sonia are in a stable relationship- literally, they spend most of their time trying to repopulate animals. (BA DUM TSSS) lots of people are getting the medical help they need, Nidai's gotten a heart transplant, Nagito has his AIDS under control, other people are starting to get rehomed; komaru and toko are the very first to get that luxury simply to keep Syoko (a moniker picked up by fukawa to reclaim her own humanity) away from Polaris at all costs. makoto is going ham with pet projects- by which to say he is finally introducing the warriors of hope back into the adults. theyre about 8 or 9 at this point.
theyre still their very own family unit, and they desperately want monaka to move forward with them. Monaka does not want this, for herself or for others. she actively harms people any way they can when she's allowed to see them. has shanked people with colored pencils.
i have to put this in another block, tumblr hates me and I am VERY wordy.
all of the adults try to talk reason into her. there is no reason to be talked into. she even got to live with komaeda and hajime for a month, and not even that proved to get anywhere, and Komaeda had to get a blood transfusion halfway through because of monaca. All the department heads agree, though with a lot of hemming and hawing, espicially from chihiro-- some people are too far gone, and cannot be saved.
Chihiro asks (and gets) to sit with Monaca while she is executed. she's supposed to not know. She Knows. She's a smart little shithead. She tries to stab Chihiro to death while poison very slowly works its way through her bloodstream. Thank god she's 10 and he's been working out a whole lot. She takes off half his tit though, and it gives him an excuse to get top. Chihiro is never sitting with anyone while they forcfully die again.
the kids go through another 6 months of therapy to process what just happened- though to be frank, they had gotten over her nonsense a while ago, and don't feel much after about only two months. they come to the conculsion it'll probably effect them more as young adults.
the kids are assigned to families via makoto. Taka and Mondo arent dating, but with how/how much they bicker, they might as well be married. they get joint custody daimon, who needs good male figures in his life who wont hurt him. Syoko and Komaru, lesbians extraordinaire, get Kotoko. SA victims help SA victims. syoko teaches her all the best places to stab men if they ever try to put their hands on her. several people go to the hopital for it. shes 10!! its deserved!! chihiro gets jataro. Taichi and Chihiro and Jataro are basically 3 peas in a pod, and they really love fostering Jataros interests and helping him learn healthy coping mechanisms for his autism. Polaris gets Nagisa. "both of you need to learn how to be kids for once!" "what the hell is that supposed to mean." "watch your tongue." "dont tell me what to do" "see? this is what i mean. go sneak into the food stores! get the sticks out of your asses and live a little!! take some inspiration from Mondo or something."
they do. polaris finds out she has a horrible addiction to goldfish crackers. Chihiro now uses them as a bribe, scooby snack style. Nagisa discovers what a food coma is. polaris and nagisa continue to be silly and have fun and play.
the kids function as additional therapy for all of the people who care for them, as well as therapy for the kids.
antics ensue!! the kids all play pranks get in trouble, grow up a bit more. polaris and chihiro are fucking, thinking about getting married, maybe owning up to a promise of their own to Polanski's dead father. Taka has learned fully what aromantic asexuality is and is comfortable in that indentity. Mondo feels lost without a partner, but his right hand man from the gang is always there for him, and he loves his son. Syoko is not allowed back at the foundation, but Komaru and Makoto meet up frequently, and kotoko always slips little pieces of Polaris to her mom. trouble is brewing under the surface-- its not despair, but Junko would be thrilled.
this is where the forshadowing in chapter 6 starts to become fully realized.
while taka's dad has always been a shithead about not only his own son, but also chihiro, taichi has had enough of it while theyre out getting some air and a few people are smoking. there is a large and serious old man fight. Taichi, by making Takaki KO, objectively wins, but not without doing some serious damage to himself.
taka is absolutely THRILLed that his father got his ass handed to him. he aslo does not visit his dad. fuck that. "Taichi Fujisaki got in a fight with my father because he said me, chihiro and jataro should all die by our own hands? the only reason i would be mad at mr fujisaki at this point is if my father isnt dead from this fight. Taichi is more my father than that man is."
taichi is visited by his son, his sons girlfriend (who is weathering an engagement ring in her pocket), and his sons girlfriend's butler in the hospital ward. Taichi Fujisaki as a very clear brand mark on his back between his shoulderblades- one that is extremely old and must have been seared into him in his youth-- and it says "Togami" in Kanji. Chihrio is confused, Polaris is frozen in fear, and Pennysworth is yelling a name neither of them recognize, but Taichi visibily shrinks to.
FUN BACKSTORY TIME OF HOW TAICHI FUJISAKI ESCAPED BEING A TOGAMI, CHANGED HIS IDENTITY, TOOK THE CASH AND RAN!! ("and that, chihiro, is why your mom always joked about extra broccoli." "you convinced mom that those kanji meant ADD BROCCOLI?!" "she couldnt read kanji and you never saw my back!! It worked out fine! unitl now, I guess--")
suddenly polaris doesnt feel so good about the engagement ring in her pocket-- even if in any other culture it is absolutely not weird to marry your estranged step-grand-cousin. Pennysworth is just thrilled to see his first Togami child again. Polaris thinks shes going to be sick over it, has a panic attack-- actually, much worse- a psychotic break. brought on by trauma. she's cold and snappy, and demands to not be called Polaris, "that girl is dead and has been dead for years. My name is Byakuya Togami, damnit!" Chihiro's in actual shock.
MEANWHILE!!! Jataro has finally been confident enough to be taking his mask off, and has gone for his first physical. He makes mention of what he knows about his mother-- and says right out that he killed her. He only knows her as one "Jean Mullen. but Mullen's a stupid name, So i said i dint have one and Junko helped me pick Kemuri." He mentions that if his real father is out there after having left his birthgiver for dead, he's angry, and if he were to meet him in his current state, Jataro feels confident he could kill him, too. Hajime is the doctor running this; and the name seems familiar to him, but he's not quite sure. he runs blood tests against every person he has in the system. and hajime is about to have to give the worst news of his life. but not before jataro shows them exactly where the dead, frozen body of his mom is.
Taichi Fujisaki had a tall, red-headed wife named "Gwendolyn Jeanette Mullen-Fujisaki". Chihiro and Jataro get along more like an older brother to a much younger sibling. Gwen had a horrible habit of verbally, and very occasionally physically, lashing out if she was denied her coping mechanisms. During the end of the world- the last thing she did was make love to her husband one last time! She did not know she would get pregant. or survive to see the baby born. or even get to know if her husband and son were alive!! so face to face in the end of the world with this terrible little infant who looked exactly the way chihiro should have? she became a terrible, terrible mother.
a now dead terrible single mother. who taichi and chihiro have to confirm the indentity of. Jataro does not understand why chihiro is having such a meltdown. "Polaris" is FURIOUS that not only was she never actually the sole heir(ess?) - this now discovered branch of her family is the Fujisakis and they've got a whole BUNCH of weird shit going on!!!!
Chihiro and Taichi privately talk with Jataro's therapist. he works through it because he's old enough (15) to realize and recognize that "hey, i didnt know I would have been concieved at the same time this horrible, world changing event happened, and my dad didn't walk out because my mom sucked- my dad didnt walk out at all! my dad got kidnapped!! and now he's right here with my older brother!!! and my ... step mom step cousin sister in law??? Where's Miss Polaris, anyways?" "........ sister in law?!" "did she pussy out" "excuse me!?!"
"Byakuya" runs from the situation. ends up staying for a little bit in the same building (now very well renovated) where Kazuichi passed. Chihiro stays with Gundam and Sonia to try to ease the hurt of the past two weeks, where Polaris has been distant and cold with him, even forgetting and seeming much more like the man she was at hopes peak to her classmates than the woman he knows and loves
taka pulls the plug on his dad, who has sustained enough injuries that Taka can finally justify it. Takaki goads and eggs Taka into doing it the whole time-- heavy on the sarcasm; and Taka doesn't understand, just knows it hurts and is in a tone that other hurtful words have been delivered by. "go ahead!! you want daddy to save you all this damn time?! do it! you fuckin wont let me!" --Some people are not worth saving. He cries to mondo about it, how he didnt know he could do such a thing, that if his father was worth saving, why would he be? Mondo comes tothe conclusion that sometimes, saving someone is the bravest thing you really can do. sometimes, you're really lucky if someone else you love will look out for you. sometimes- the bravest and strongest way to save yourself, is to sacrifice a life that hurts you like no other. "he left you a legacy- that doesnt mean you gotta do soemthing stupid to get yourself to not take it. sometimes, you just have to say no, n leave it behind."
Syoko, well healed and still on the mend, getting information about what's going on with her old flame from her kid and her three weird "brothers"-- go out and find Byakuya. exactly where she thought they'd be.
"youre not supposed to be here. God why are you so ancient?!" "you looked in a mirror lately? plus this isnt foundation property and You need some serious help" ".. when did i get breasts?!" "five years ago." "how long have we been out of that school?!!" "about 7 or 8 years." "Why are you the rational one here, you're a serial killer!!" "formerly, yes. turns out that seven or eight years of therapy 5 days a week does wonders for hurt little kids who have to dissociate to be able to cope with the terrible things that were forced upon them" "..." "like being an adult too early, being sexually assulated multiple times, physical and emotional abuse, no friends, scars that serve as physical reminders-" "stop talking like you know me." "I was only talking about myself. if you saw you in those statements, thats not something I can control." "... I dont recognize the people I'm with." "yeah, that was another common one." "..what about suddenly showing up places you dont remember going?" "... yeah. that one too." "... I wanna go home, Touko." "End of the world, White Knight! Home is where ever you want it to be now. Where the heart is, as some novels would have you believe." "... can we hug?" "Not a single fucking chance in the world dipshit, I still know where arteries are and i WILL stab you if you try. I also have no desire to go anywhere near foundation grounds." ".. you can come back. you're... clearly doing much better." "are you going to remember you said that?" "likely not. I also dont remember how to get back." "how about I bring you back and i talk to your shrink?" "perhaps the best idea."
Polaris gets therapy for bigger and more pervasive issues, part 2 electric boogaloo. Her family becomes real, and central, and loves and cares about her. it's not a contest, anymore.
She goes to finally propose to chihiro. chihiro beats her to it out on the same date. they laugh about the rings.
everyone lives happily ever after.
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