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masonscig · 4 years ago

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pairing | mason x sofía

word count | 4.3k

warnings | angst, blood, body horror, gore. please let me know if i need to add any other tags!

tags | @raleighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @masonsfangs, @queerbrujas, @nerdferatum, @peonylon, @yoru-no-nekousagi

author’s note | sorry in advance – i know this wouldn’t happen in canon like. at all, but i just love making mason do some introspection :-)

read on ao3!

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He was sure that he’d ground a line into the linoleum floor from how fast he was pacing. Nate’s voice was long gone from his subconscious – at this point he couldn’t be comforted.

For fourteen days he’d been outside that room, day in and day out.

He left for the basic necessities like… showering when absolutely necessary, but if anyone dared to try to relieve him, he was a gnashing, snarling mess. After the first couple days, they just left him alone.

They wouldn’t allow him in.

The most he’d heard from her was a mumbled greeting (said to someone else) through a cracked door.

He slumped into the chair he’d parked outside the door, fatigue curling around his muscles, winding its way up his nerves, the brute of it settling on his eyelids.

Fighting sleep wasn’t that hard – it’d never been this hard.

He’d been a tense ball of both rage and distress for so long that the first time he unclenched – there, hunched over in an uncomfortable folding chair – was due to pure exhaustion.

The metronome on the other side of the door was the only thing keeping him awake.

As long as he could hear her pulse through the walls, he wasn’t leaving.

He had to do something to stay awake. She could call him in any minute now –

So he started counting. One, two, three.

This is so fucking stupid, he thought, curling his hands into fists so tight that his skin screamed at him to stop before he broke through.

But he kept counting, kept counting until he was well into the thousands, not caring how much time had passed.

Thankfully, her heartbeat was steady, strong, so he knew she was still on the other side of the wall. That’s all he could ask for since he’d been kept in the dark for days.

Counting at least kept his mind off of the things that (rightfully) tormented him.

Mason could count on one hand the times he’d been truly terrified in his life. Most of them had happened the past few years.

Lots of times if he tried hard enough, he could feel the fragmented remnants of fear from a past life he knew nothing about, but those moments were rare and fleeting.

He usually pushed them down, deep down, until they bobbed to the surface like some deep sea anomaly that was trying to tug at his curiosity. It normally didn’t amount to much, but every once in a while he divulged in it, experiencing that bone deep ache of something he didn’t even think himself capable of feeling in the first place.

Since he met Sofía, though, fear was interwoven into his everyday life, like the ashes of his past were meticulously sprinkled across Wayhaven and he couldn’t do a single thing but feel it over and over and over.

Nonchalance and deflection couldn’t shield him from the shit he’d been through the past two weeks.

He’d taken the worst tongue lashing from Rebecca he’d ever gotten – it was the first time he wanted to curl into himself and hide.

“You knew how she felt about this,” Rebecca whispered furiously, her eyes well past brimming with tears.

She blinked them away, tearing into him as they streaked down her cheeks and onto the linoleum, not even pausing to wipe them.

“Our policy has always been to turn those who are one hundred percent consenting to the process, and you deliberately breached protocol when you knew this wasn’t what she wanted.”

Agent Olmos was sobbing through her anger, striding towards him while he backed farther and farther down the hallway towards the exit.

He let her continue, as did the rest of Unit Bravo, watching wide-eyed from behind her as she tore him to shreds in the same warehouse she aided in making their home.

“I hope you know that you cannot run from this. I plan on pursuing punishment to its full extent,” she said through stuttered breaths. “The worst the Agency can give.” The threat tacked on at the end of her tirade haunted him for days. And he’d never forget the look of absolute dejection tugging at every inch of her body.

Unit Bravo had stopped trying to console him days before.

Well, Nate and Felix stopped.

Adam was… vastly less understanding. He was furious, nearly as furious as Rebecca, but for different reasons.

He’d shut Mason out the second he’d chosen wrong, siding with Rebecca immediately.

Nate was still on the fence, opting to try to maintain the peace.

Felix was the only one who’d stood by Mason through it all.

“We’ve been kept in Wayhaven to protect her, right? Well, he did what he thought was protecting her at the time. And she’s alive, right?”

Mason overheard Felix defending him in hushed tones, trying to plead his case to Adam.

Well, he was right. He did exactly what he thought would save her at the time.

But he really didn’t think, he did.

Seeing her in a crumpled heap of nothing but limbs and blood triggered the worst of that feeling he tried suppressing.

If he had to put a name to the feeling, he’d probably say it was like being struck by a lightning bolt. Fear zapped him, violently so, each nerve ending in his body on edge, leaving behind a painful sting.

He’d sunk his fangs into her neck before they could stop him, releasing venom into the bite as Adam’s hand grabbed at his shoulder.

“Let me fucking go –” he yelled, thrashing in Adam’s ironclad grip.

“Is she breathing?” Nate asked in a raised voice, directing Felix while trying to keep Adam from crushing Mason.

Felix crouched next to Sofía's bloodied form, pressing fingers to the other side of her neck, shoulders visibly relaxing.

“Yeah, she’s breathing.”

“We have to get out of here now, Adam,” Nate shook his head frantically. “We might not make it back in time –”

“We will.” Adam said matter-of-factly, jaw firmly set.

“Let him carry her.”

“Absolutely not, he deliberately compromised the mission –”

“There was nothing deliberate about it. Please, we need to go –”

“Guys?”

Felix’s timid voice tore them both out of their argument and Mason stopped thrashing for a moment to look where he was pointing: her neck.

The scar was shrinking before their eyes, the crescent moon disappearing, replaced with her smooth, warm skin.

A low groan of pain echoed through the room. They collectively winced at the sound.

“She’s healing.”

The first crack was the loudest, reverberating off of the walls like a gunshot, startling everyone.

But with each one an even scarier sound came from her lips, the garbled broken moans filling the space between them and sending chills up Mason’s spine.

“We have to go, now.”

Nate was demanding, not asking, at that point. Adam gave him a curt nod before releasing Mason, one hand still grasping his arm.

“Take her to the warehouse. We have to prepare for the worst case scenario. Be on guard.”

“She’s going to survive,” Mason growled, shaking out of Adam’s grip.

“We don’t have time for arguments, guys, she’s turning right now –” Felix was nearly shouting, frantic and unprepared to witness what was happening in front of him.

Mason’s arms were curling underneath her back and the bend of her knees before another word was uttered.

“Felix go with him –” Nate called after them.

“Got it,” he nodded, already rushing to keep up with Mason’s lightning fast gait.

Felix smashed the large glass door open with pointed feet, trying desperately to clear pathways before Mason could get there.

One of the shards split the skin of Mason’s cheekbone open, but he barely winced, determined to push himself to his absolute limit to make it back to the warehouse in time.

The way every muscle in his body screamed at him like they never had before was nothing if it meant she’d be safe.

He could ignore the pain, sure.

He couldn’t ignore what was happening in his arms, though.

Crack after agonizing crack, she was breaking apart in his arms, her body shattering and putting itself together.

All he could do was grit his teeth and push himself harder.

Felix was clearly more affected, his expression one of horror, trying not to react to her cries of pain.

By the time they made it to the warehouse doors, she was shrieking, her animalistic screams slicing through the dead of night.

“Where do we – what do we do –” Felix was panicking, looking to Mason for an inkling of guidance.

“My room,” Mason grunted, forcing himself to sprint the last hundred feet to his bedroom.

For the last few minutes of her transformation, he and Felix sat by her side, trying to hold her down while she thrashed through the pain.

Her body stretched and broke and grew underneath their palms, her entire frame changing before their eyes.

She was still bloodied, but not battered, all of her lacerations from their last fight zipping up until there wasn’t a trace that she’d taken any damage.

The room was tense, even more so when Adam stepped in, his gaze steely, his glare cutting.

By the time Nate joined the room (thankfully) the worst of it was over, and she stilled, transitioning from loud moans of pain to labored breaths.

“Is it over?” Felix whispered, his tear streaked face glistening in the light when he looked up at Adam.

Adam nodded, lips set in a firm line. “If she comes to, she’s survived. If she turns feral, we’ll have to finish her off before Agent Olmos arrives.”

Mason’s voice was guttural, eyes wild, coming from a place of protectiveness that surprised even him.

“You’re not touching her –” he pushed off of the bed and stood at his full height, chin tilted slightly to eye the other man with a menacing glare. “– not if I have anything to say about it.”

“It is not up for debate. We will not risk keeping her alive for your ignorant, selfish reasons,” Adam nearly spat, voice unwavering.

When he said he’d kill for the Agency without hesitation, Mason didn’t think Adam would take it this far.

She was a part of the team… she was one of them.

“You’re that comfortable killing one of your own?” He shouted, his own volume foreign to him.

He wasn’t that guy.

He was the laid back one. The one who didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone.

She’d done this to him. She’d snuck her way into his life a fucking song Felix played on loop until it was on repeat at the back of his mind for months and months and months.

“I’m comfortable following protocol, despite your apparent imperviousness to rules.”

“Adam, Mason, please,” Felix whispered from below. “She wouldn’t want this.”

Icy green and grey eyes were downcast, almost in shame at their outbursts.

Mason turned away from Adam, rolling his lips. “You’re right.”

“I apologize for arguing, but I will not change my mind.”

Mason nodded once, kneeling down next to Sofía's form as Adam slipped out of the door.

When she finally awoke, she was surrounded by the entire team – Unit Bravo and her mother.

She blinked slowly, adjusting to the dim lighting.

“Mason?” Her half lidded gaze stopped on him and her brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing here – what happened – last thing I remember is getting knocked out –”

Struggling to sit up, she shifted her weight until she was upright. “Did we finish the mission? Did you guys make it out safe?”

“We have a lot to discuss, Sofía,” Nate said cautiously, stepping forward until he was looking over the bed.

“About the mission?”

“Not exactly.”

She stiffened at Nate’s tone, appearing a bit more alert, her eyes darting across each person’s somber expression.

“What’s going on?”

“You almost died, Sofía,” Felix murmured, struggling to keep his voice even.

She still looked puzzled, her eyes flitting between everyone in the room, gauging their reactions to what Felix said.

She landed on Mason, gaze pleading.

Tell me. Be honest with me, they said.

“Dammit, I had to – I couldn’t just let you –” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

Mason knew he didn’t fuck up, but it sure felt like he did.

She crumbled before him, her expression one of a person who’d realized her humanity had been stolen from her.

Fisting the sheets, she looked down at her clenched hands, before ripping the cloth away, staring at her body in sheer disgust.

“This can’t be happening –” she whispered, her breathing becoming more and more frantic.

She rotated her hands in front of her face, scanning her long slender fingers (that weren’t before) with wide eyes.

A choked sob silenced her, her shoulders, hands, lips trembling.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted, but we can work with you. We can accommodate you –”

She cut Nate off with a half-laugh, half-sob.

Whatever retort she was going to spit in his direction wasn’t coming, instead replaced with hysterical cries.

And whatever Mason planned to say to her wasn’t coming either.

He wasn’t one to preplan speeches, especially ones that were… apologetic (to say the least). His mind was completely blank as he watched the woman he thought he’d saved shatter in front of him.

He’d never seen her cry like this – he’s not sure anyone had.

She didn’t cry, not really, unless she was angry. Passionate.

Hadn’t seen her cry in a while, though. Couldn’t remember the last time she did, it’d been so long. He was to blame for most reasons she spilled tears.

And this time it was because of him. Again.

“Please let us try to help you,” Nate said, finally, somehow the bravest in the group, crouching down until he was on a knee, nearly eye level with her hunched form.

“There’s nothing we can do to undo your turning, but we can make you comfortable. It’s a little bit of an adjustment, but we can coach you –”

“A little bit?” She shook her head, wiping the back of her hand across her cheeks.

Her head tilted up to survey the room again, her expression pained. “Why didn’t you just let me die?”

He stepped forward impulsively, jaw clenched. “Don’t say that.”

“You knew I didn’t want this – all of you knew I didn’t want this. Why did you let him change me?”

Change. But she was the same old Sofía.

“He’d already sunk his teeth in your neck by the time we noticed him move. We couldn’t stop him in time,” Adam said from the corner, brows furrowed, clearly uncomfortable.

Rebecca and Felix remained silent, clearly the most affected.

“I need all of you to get out.”

“We cannot do that, detective. There’s much we need to talk over –” Adam started, but she cut him off with a yell.

“If you don’t get the fuck out of this room right now, I’ll make you get out. Rebecca, that includes you. Get out. Now.”

The collective shock followed them out into the hallway as they straggled out of the room.

“Not you, Mason. Stay.”

The tone of her voice was enough to rattle him.

As soon as Felix closed the door behind him (after giving a worried glance back at Mason), she was pushing herself off of the bed. She struggled to stand upright like she was relearning how to walk again on new legs.

When she stood at her full height, she appeared to be tormented by the revelation.

She’d become taller than Felix and only an inch or two shorter than Mason. Her limbs were gangly, her body type completely different.

More tears fell, more sobs came, and with each cry he couldn’t help but feel himself cracking too.

“I did what I thought was right.”

“Did you? Did you really?”

“You were dying right in front of me. I couldn’t let you go, not like that –”

“Have you always intended on changing me? Do you care that little about me and what I want? Are you that selfish?”–

Fear – he was engulfed in it. The repressed storm – the one he’d always stood at the eye of – shifted, and he was engulfed in the monstrous waves, colliding with his worst fears at the same time he realized what they were.

He was going to lose her. And it was his fault.

He gritted his teeth, trying to come up with some kind of justification that didn’t sound selfish.

She spoke before he could collect his thoughts.

“My body is… different. It doesn’t even feel like mine anymore,” she whispered, plopping back onto the edge of the bed, head hung low.

“You’re still a detective. You’re still you. Nothing else around you’s changed,” he said.

He hoped that restating facts would be some kind of replacement for whatever jumbled mess was going on inside of his mind.

“No. I was supposed to decide who I’m going to be and you made the decision for me.”

His whole body stiffened, glued in place at the vitriol dripping from her words.

“You made my choice for me. I didn’t want this,” she repeated, shaking her head, hugging her arms around herself.

“You don’t have to be a detective –”

“Can you not just say you’re sorry? Is that really not in your vocabulary?” She asked, making a sound that sounded almost like a laugh, but not quite. “Have you seriously gone a hundred years without apologizing to anyone?”

She wasn’t exactly wrong.

Admitting fault was a weak point of his. Truth be told it cut his pride deep to say “I was wrong,” because he always had some kind of justification.

He was painfully stubborn. That didn’t bother him too much – not until those rare moments (like that one) where no matter how much he knew the other person was in pain, it was exceedingly difficult to form those three words and push them past his teeth.

The one time his impulse doesn’t kick in, and it’s when he should be desperately apologizing and groveling and begging on his hands and knees for forgiveness.

He’d thought for the longest time that a hundred years of an immortal lifestyle had wiped away all traces of his humanity, but it lingered.

Maybe that’s why she was a breath of fresh air – she was drawing those irrefutable human emotions that he didn’t believe himself to have anymore and tugged them to the surface.

She wasn’t a breath of fresh air – she was air. He’d been drowning for so fucking long, unchallenged, unchanging, and she came along like an otherworldly presence that wholly stilled his water.

God, was she his moon?

Did she hold that much power over his waves?

This revelation couldn’t have come at a worse time, as she continued despite his silence.

“I wasn’t supposed to come back here… now I’m trapped. I can never get out.

“I was supposed to be a doctor. I was supposed to be someone.”

The arguments he thought he’d spit out dissolved, as whatever he said next had to mean something. It couldn’t undo the damage, but it might could quell a sliver of her pain.

“You’re someone to me.”

She sank her teeth into her wobbling lip, no doubtedly harder than she intended, blood dotting the pink skin.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you for this,” Sofía murmured, voice surprisingly steady with her usual resolve, despite not being able to meet his eye as she said it. “Please go.”

And just like that, he was engulfed again.

He’d been nearly disowned by his teammates and prosecuted by his former boss, his entire immortal life in shambles, but he didn’t fucking care.

The only thing that mattered to him was whether or not she was going to speak to him again.

He squeezed his hands into tight fists again, trying not to think about what she’d said to him after she’d turned – she was understanding. She was kind. She was forgiving.

She was Sofía.

He’d robbed her of her humanity, sure, but he could’ve never taken away what made her Sofía. No one could do that.

“Hey, Mason. We’re having a meeting in thirty minutes,” Nate had said, sympathy written on his features like Mason was a tragedy and he’d already read the ending.

He thought if he waited long enough he could catch her and say what they both needed to hear: I’m sorry.

When the door finally opened (a minute before the meeting started), she stepped out, bookbag slung over her shoulder, not sparing him a second glance.

He stumbled after her, exhausted still.

He found himself hesitating to speak first, worried he was going to say the wrong thing, and nervous that she wouldn’t hear him out.

She was vastly more intimidating after her turning than she was before – her body had rearranged itself to be more predator-like. Of course he was scared.

But he didn’t fear her.

Her long legged stride was less determined than usual. Her posture was worse, like she was trying to hide. Her presence didn’t hold the confidence she used to have.

It was getting harder and harder to find what made her her.

But he still didn’t fear her.

As soon as they were settled in for the meeting (him perched against the seat she used to sit, her standing on the opposite side of the room), Rebecca commanded the meeting, demanding silence with nothing but a look.

“This will be our last formal meeting in Wayhaven, as we’ve all received new assignments.”

Mason’s chest twinged, his grip on the arm of the chair tightening until the fabric tore. No one else appeared as surprised as he was.

“Agent Du Mortain, Agent Sewell, and Agent Hauville, we’ll be relocating for the time being on a minor assignment while the Agency finds us something longer term,” she continued, surveying the room, not sparing Mason a glance.

“Sofía will not be joining us.”

The statement hung in the air like a thick fog.

“I’ve received special clearance for the time being. The Agency is giving me time to sort through my feelings before I decide whether or not I want to continue working for them,” she said, nodding towards her mother, both of them smiling ever so slightly.

When had they gotten so close?

“That’s awesome, Sofía,” Felix grinned, seemingly happy for the first time in weeks. “I can’t wait to visit you and have a sleepover for old times’ sake.”

She didn’t answer, her eyebrows furrowed instead like she was trying to break the news to him gently.

“I’m afraid this is the last time we’re going to see Sofía, Felix,” Nate murmured, reaching out to pat his bat cautiously.

“Ever?” His voice broke with the second syllable.

She dropped her bag and strode across the room, wrapping Felix in a tight hug. When she pulled back, her eyes were watering, too.

“I can’t come back here. Even if I choose this existence and I work for the Agency, they’ll never let me set foot back in this town, and… I don’t think I’d want to, either.”

“She’s right. I’m sure she will have to wait until the townsfolk die off until she can come back,” Adam nodded sympathetically despite his bluntness.

They were talking about her future – she was, too – without including Mason in it. Like she’d already made up her mind and everyone in the room knew but him.

No, he didn’t fear her. He feared life without her.

“Sofía,” he said, finally, voice low, ignoring the boring gazes of Adam and Rebecca.

She met his eyes, and for a split second he was relieved – her eyes were soft, forgiving, human, like the old Sofía.

It didn’t console him for long, though. She wasn’t looking at him the way she used to. She’d forgiven him, sure, but it was more than just that.

She looked at him like she’d moved on, her forgiveness magnanimous in nature, like she’d put it behind her – put him behind her.

Rebecca’s voice snapped him out of it, her tone biting. “Mason, you’ve been ordered to stay behind and stand trial. For the time being, you’ve been stripped of your title. If you’re granted amnesty, your Agent title will be restored, but for now, you’re to be taken into custody and prosecuted as a rogue. If you try to run, lethal force will be used without hesitation.”

Adam’s heavy hand on his shoulder made the situation much more realistic.

He really was losing everything. It wasn’t some horrific nightmare that he could shake himself out of.

The cuffs Nate clicked into place weren’t too tight (he made sure of it).

He couldn’t do a thing but watch Sofía say her tearful goodbyes to everyone.

She cried with both her mother and Felix, but pulled it together for Nate, snuggling her face into his chest. She even managed to get a hug out of Adam, despite his awkwardness.

When she made it to Mason, she tugged his shackled hands upward, slipping underneath his arms, tucking her nose under his chin.

He was stunned, the lump in his throat aching with regret.

He gripped her tighter, burying his nose into her hair. He knew exactly how she smelled, how she felt, how she tasted, but he was committing it to memory since it was the last time.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, arms trembling.

“I didn’t want the Agency to press charges. I tried stopping it. I’m sorry,” she whispered back, hands rubbing at his back in soothing circles.

“If I could take it all back, I would. I’m sorry,” he said again and again, trying to pour all of himself into her to show that he knew he was wrong.

“Maybe in another life.”

And then she was gone. And they were gone.

And he was still there. Still afraid.

#the wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc mason #agent mason #mason x sofía #my fic #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore

38 notes · View notes

just-a-caffeine-addict · 4 years ago

Text

Quotes Accrued in a Decade

“…as you well know, the source of the Nile remained invisible to those who lived next to it for a thousand years. Identifying it required a stranger. (A fresh pair of eyes may see what others miss)” –Sherlock Holmes (From The Perils of Sherlock Holmes: Short Stories)

“A couple of years before he died, I kissed my father goodbye. He said, ‘Son, you haven’t kissed me since you were a little boy.’ It went straight to my heart, and I kissed him whenever I saw him after that, and my sons and I always kiss whenever we meet.” –Terry Wogan

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.” –Chinese Proverb

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.” –George Bernard Shaw

“An army of donkeys led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a donkey.” –Genghis Khan

"An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it." –Mahatma Gandhi

“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” –Cesar A. Cruz

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” –Marianna Williamson

“Ask not what your country can do for you –ask what you can do for your country.” –John Kennedy

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply give you courage.” –Lao Tzu

“Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.” –English Proverb

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” –George Bernard Shaw

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” –Confucius

“Can you really have a bad experiment? I don’t know. But can you have a bad result? Yes.” — EvanAndKatelyn (From Can Resin Preserve a Pumpkin Carving?)

“canon is but the sandbox in which i strike lightning to form glass. trouble me no more with your quibblings and quorums, lest i grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. Avast, foul fiend” —taako waititi (From Tumblr)

“Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers?” —Victor Hugo

“Cucullus non facit monachum (A cowl does not make a monk).” – Fool/Feste (From Twelfth Night)

“Demons run when a good man goes to war…” –River Song (From Doctor Who)

“Due to high cost of ammo, there will be NO WARNING SHOTS FIRED.” –Warning sign

“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” –Nicholas Sparks (From Safe Haven)

“Everyone gives the title of barbarism to everything that is not in use in his own country.” –Michel de Montaigne (From Of Cannibals)

“Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” –Brad Henry

“Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife, cut the cord, and set themselves free from the fools.” –Unknown

“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.” –Chinese Proverb

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” –Thomas Edison

“Herr, wirf Hern vom Himmel -oder Steine, Hauptsache er trifft (Lord, throw some brains from the heavens -or stones, as long as he hits the mark)!” –German Proverb

“History is for human self-knowledge...the only clue to what man can do is what man has done. The value of history, then, is that it teaches us what man has done and thus what man is.” —R.G. Collingwood

“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.” –James Thurber

“I can pretend I’m a fish, but I shouldn’t try to breathe underwater.” –Unknown

“I have the patience of a saint. Saint Cunty McFuckOff.” –Words on a cup

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 1,000 ways that won’t work.” –Thomas Edison

“I made some good deals and I made some bad ones. I really went in the hole with this one.” –Quote on a grave

“I occasionally think, how quickly our differences worldwide would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world. And yet, I ask is not an alien force ALREADY among us?” –Ronald Reagan

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” –Isaac Newton

“If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might nearly be free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows, and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us.” –Victor Frankenstein (From Frankenstein)

“If the world tells me I’m mad, whereas I know I’m not, which of us is right? Thus, being mad is what? Inventing a life one hasn’t lived or loving a woman met in another lifetime? Is it clinging to unsatisfied desires?..” Doriel (From A Mad Desire to Dance)

“If you’re afraid - don’t do it, - if you’re doing it - don’t be afraid!” –Genghis Khan

“If you’re going to be a writer, the first essential is just to write. Do not wait for an idea. Start writing something and the ideas will come. You have to turn the faucet on before the water starts to flow.” —Louis L’Amour

"If you're not asking the questions in a thoughtful way, you're not going to get any results that are useful or interesting." –Tony Wagner

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” –John Quincy Adams

“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” –Jimi Hendrix (From Axis: Bold as Love)

"Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet has free access to the sum of all human knowledge." –Jimmy Wales (Founder of Wikipedia)

"In caucus terrae, luscus rex est (In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king)." –Latin Adage

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

“In time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” –George Orwell

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” –André Gide (From Autumn Leaves)

"It's not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer." –Albert Einstein

“It’s true. I forget important things sometimes… Sometimes I do think I should give up-- just let the crown win and the world freeze, with me in it. Some days I can’t remember a single reason to keep fighting. Some… Some days I-- I can’t remember her. But giving up’s EASY. You know what’s hard? To BELIEVE in your own worth, to KNOW you’ve got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when YOU can’t.” –Ice King |Simon Petrikov from Adventure Time

“Learn yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” –Albert Einstein

“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.” –Isaac Watts

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” –Sholom Aleichem

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” –Ann Landers

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” –James Baldwin

“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” —“The Wonder Years”

“My family is my strength and my weakness.” –Aishwarya rai Bachchan

“Names are the sweetest and the most important sounds in any language.” –Dale Carnegie

“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.” –Mary Wollstonecraft

"No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." –Sigmund Freud

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” –Lin Yutang

“NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be shot; Survivors will be shot again.” –Warning Sign

“Nobody knows you as well as our spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.” –Stephen Kendrick from The Love Dare

“Notice: Anyone found here at night will be found here in the morning.” –Warning Sign

“"One thing nature is very good at is creating incredibly complex microscopic structures. That's because nature's machines are the size of molecules, while our crude versions are the size of rooms." –Theodore Gray (from Molecules: The Elements and Architecture of Everything)

“Only the sufferers know how their bellies ache.“ –Burmese

“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.” –Otto von Bismarck

“People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’ - that’s intimacy.” –Taylor Jenkins Reid (From The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo)

“Play taps for my ass, cause it’s dead as hell.” –Unknown Quote

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other. (It doesn't matter which one we choose; Equally involved, equally responsible)”

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” –Markus Zusak (From I Am the Messenger)

“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” –Theodore Roosevelt

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can” –Arthur Ashe

“Take nothing but pictures; Leave nothing but footprints; Kill nothing but time.” –Caver’s Creed

“Take with a pinch of salt (Don’t completely believe what’s told).”

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” –Richard Bach

“The end of one thing is only the beginning of another.” –Unknown

“The family is a haven in a heartless world.” –Attributed to Christopher Lasch

“The helper seeks to help others because he knows what it is to be helpless.” –’ Zen’ Wander (From Wander Over Yonder)

"The million-dollar question: Why aren't we kinder? The second million-dollar question: How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less

delusional?" –George Sanders

“The need for a body of common knowledge and common reference ...grows more necessary so that people of different origins and occupation may quickly find common ground and, as we say, speak a common language...it also ensures a kind of mutual confidence and good will. One is not addressing an alien, blank as a stone wall, but a responsive creature whose mind is filled with the same images, memories, and vocabulary as oneself.” —Jacques Barzun

“The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them.” –Marilyn Monroe

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!” –Roosevelt

“The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure you have enough.” –Louie CK

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” –Albert Camus

“The sacrifice which causes sorrow to the doer of the sacrifice is no sacrifice. Real sacrifice lightens the mind of the doer and gives him a sense of peace and joy. The Buddha gave up the pleasures of life because they had become painful to him.” –Mahatma Gandhi

“The secret of a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject depends upon our interest in it. We rarely forget that which has made a deep impression on our minds.” —Tryon Edwards

“The secret to humor is surprise.” –Aristotle

“The surplus wealth of the few will become, in the best sense, the property of many, because administered for the common good.” –Andrew Carnegie

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” –G.K. Chesterson

"The word 'why' not only taught me to ask, but also to think. And thinking has never hurt anyone. On the contrary, it does us all a world of good." –Anne Frank

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” –Ernest Hemingway From A Farewell To Arms

“There is no satisfaction in vengeance unless the offender has time to realize who it is that strikes him, and why retribution had come upon him.” –Jefferson Hope From Sherlock’s Adventures

“There will be something you hate in every job. The trick is finding a job where you love the good parts enough to make up for the crappy parts.” –post

“There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society… outside of a kennel.” –Crystal (From The Women of 1939)

“Though we tremble before uncertain futures… may we dance in the face of our fears.” –Gloria Anzaldua

“To forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.” –Elie Wiesel (From Night)

“Un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l’admire (A fool always finds a fool to admire him).” – Sherlock Holmes (French translation)

“We’re taught Lord Acton’s axiom: all power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely[...] I believed that when we started these books, but I don’t believe it’s always true anymore. [...] What I believe is always true about power is that power always reveals. When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you see what the guy always wanted to do.” –Robert A. Caro

“We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.” –Joseph Roux

“What we have done to ourselves alone, dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” –Brother Albert Pike

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” –Henry Ford

“When you wish upon a star, you’re a few million light years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.” –Unknown

“When you’re a brat, running fast is enough to make you popular. When you’re a middle-schooler, the guys who can fight will be popular, and after that it’s the guys with brains who can get the girls.” –Master of Protagonist (From The Fruit of Grisaia)

“Where we love is home –home where our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” –Plato

“You are the company you keep.” –Unknown

“You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul" –Chef Gusteau (From Ratatouille)

“You walk around a drunk, you get a tired drunk. Splash ‘em with water, you get a wet drunk. Give ‘em a coffee, you’ve got a wide-awake drunk…” –Unknown

#quotes #sayings #everything associated honestly #some I need to review

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homeforchristmas-au · 5 years ago

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Character bios pt 2!!

Decided to continue the bios for the rest of the fam squad, the full extended family!! Might change things around a bit, we’ll see!!! Here’s part one in case you missed it :3

Emile Sanders (formerly Picani):

Age: 46

Pronouns: he/him/they/them

Height: 6’1”

Curly medium golden mahogany brown hair and sky blue eyes, subtly tanned skin covered in freckles, red framed rounded glasses, likes dressing like a cartoon character or just wearing cartoon merch (his prized possession is his Mabel pines jumper) but wears a brown cardigan over a white button down shirt with a pink necktie when he goes to work

A big goofball that has a lot of love to give, but he still knows when to be more subdued and calm and when to activate “serious picani”. He’s always loved helping people work through their issues which is why he’s a therapist

Like patton, he’s excellent at reading emotions, though he’s a bit better at it since he’s a professional

Has ADHD, but has developed the necessary coping skills to help keep his symptoms under control

Has two siblings; Catarina (Patton’s mother) and Leonard (Patton’s other uncle). Emile is the baby of the family while Leonard is the oldest

Emile met Thomas when they were both in college. They shared an ASL class and quickly began getting along, and frequently practiced sign language together and feelings developed from there

It was quite some time before they got married, but it was well worth the wait

Thomas Sanders:

Age: 43

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 5’10”

The standard character Thomas look; floppy medium brown hair, chestnut eyes, fair skinned, wears the same three shirts periodically for five years until he buys three new shirts, the usual stuff

He’s a sweet, down to earth guy. Loves cartoons almost as much as Emile does, has a passion for pizza, theatre, and the cats of the world he’ll never be able to pet without dying. He can be impulsive at times, but his heightened anxiety oftentimes outweighs that

Has three brothers named Christian, Patrick, and Shea, but I won’t describe them in depth cos I don’t wanna get any facts wrong since this is based on Thomas himself oop-

I’m literally just describing the canon character Thomas except slightly older im-

There’s like nothing else to add to make this fun and unique it’s just character Thomas welp

Thomas and Emile’s kids:

Anton Sanders:

Age: 16

Pronouns: any/all

Height: idk uh ??? 5’7” ???

Medium length wavy black hair, electric blue eyes, fair skinned with a beauty mark on his right cheek beneath his eye, usually wears fashionable clothes and declares himself an eleven, often wears scarves and turtlenecks (almost exclusively black) as well as his round mirrored sunglasses

Can and will kill you with a single look. Especially if you mess with his family. He’ll never admit it but he loves them with everything he’s got, even if he never acts like it for even a moment

Especially adores Remy and respects that they’re discovering themself and exploring new possibilities. He knows from experience how tough that is and how much of a challenge it can be

Was adopted at age three after his parents were busted for child abuse and heavy drug addiction. It took quite some time for him to come out of his shell but Emile and Thomas were nothing but patient and loving and kind. He still has a lot of trust issues but he knows he can trust his family

Will never admit it now but became insanely jealous when remy was adopted into the family. He did not want a brother because he knew that meant he was being replaced and he wasn’t loved anymore

Eventually Thomas and Emile sat him down and they all talked through it and assured Anton that he was still loved and he was not being replaced

It still took a very long time for Anton to trust Remy, even if he was only a baby

His heart was won over when Remy said his first word to him

All he said was “no” but Anton admired his defiant spirit

also yes this is the Critic how did u know

Remy Sanders:

Age: 12 (birthday January 16)

Pronouns: he/him/they/them/it/its

Height: damnit how tall are 12 year olds

Shoulder length hair dyed dark purple at the roots that fades into magenta at the ends (hair colour changes periodically depending on what it feels like having), chocolate brown eyes, fairly dark skinned but not heavily so, gender expression changes at the drop of a hat but it often wears leather, skirts, beanies, and a heck ton of earrings (when it turns eighteen it starts getting a lot of different piercings like angel bites, nostril, and industrial piercings, etc) (that’s worth noting)

Almost always sarcastic but that’s its way of showing love really. It’s a helluva punk that can and will fight anyone to the death if they deserve it (or if they hurt someone Remy likes). It’s actually a huge nerd but doesnt usually show that side of itself. It loves reading, watching shows like doctor who, and doing puzzles with Logan

Was diagnosed with adhd after Emile noticed it experienced similar symptoms for quite a while

Was adopted by Thomas and Emile when it was a baby (and Anton was four), having been found by Emile when it was left in a box in an alleyway, which was a long and complicated process but one hundred percent worth it

It has a trio of male rats named Holmes, Watson, and Splinter. Thomas was a bit reluctant to let it adopt rats but they all went to a rat breeder and when Thomas saw them all and even held one he realised it wasn’t so bad and they were actually kinda cute

When it was nine years old, it nearly died in a nasty hit and run. A truck had swerved into it when it was by the side of the road. It was fine after a lengthy recovery except it had to use a wheelchair after some spinal cord damage left it immobilised from the waist down. The driver was never identified

It probably wasn’t a coincidence that this event occurred not long after remy started talking about how much it loved boys just as much as it loved girls, but that teas a bit too hot for this post

Logan’s sisters:

Ellen Adams-Waterson:

Age: 26

Pronouns: she/her

Height: 5’6”

Light auburn hair going just barely past the shoulders, honey eyes, fair skinned though mildly tanned, covered from head to toe with freckles, red framed rectangular glasses, usually wears clothes for comfort and especially likes turtlenecks

She’s a determined, steadfast kinda gal who fights for whats right and gives everything she has for her loved ones, especially her immediate family. Although she can be pretty blunt with her words she’s also kindhearted and wants whats best for everyone

She’s an avid writer, and has actually published a novel. She also dabbles in fanfiction and is unashamed about it

She’s married to a wonderful wife named Elizabeth and they have a daughter named Kaylee (15)

She’s also been trying to quit smoking but so far that has yielded no results

Ashley Fletcher (formerly Adams):

Age: 24

Pronouns: she/her

Height: 5’10”

Long light ash brown hair that reaches her tailbone that she keeps parted to the right, electric blue eyes, fair skinned and a face full of freckles, black rectangular glasses, tries to be fashion forward but mostly just wears T-shirts and denim jackets

She’s a trans woman and has been transitioning for a few years now with lots of support from her family. She’s a nice person but let’s people walk all over her a bit. She doesn’t like confrontation much because of her anxiety disorder, but she’s trying to get better with that

Loves acting and wants to pursue it as a career, but her anxiety makes it difficult to put herself out there

Married to a trans man named warren and they have a son named jack (11) and a daughter named Emma (6)

She met warren at a pride event with Logan and Patton, and it was actually Patton who met him first (although at the time he went by a different name and didnt know he was trans yet) and then introduced him to the others

They actually talked about adopting a child long before even considering marriage. Although they realised it would look better to adoption agencies if they were married, and that was the main reason they even went through all of that

Renae Adams:

Age: 21

Pronouns: she/her/he/him

Height: 6’8”

Short wavy hair dyed bright pink, amber eyes, fair skinned, a black *dabs* styling pair of Warby Parker’s, often wears high neck shirts and suit jackets, basically always business casual because she can, and loves wearing hoop earrings

There are two sides to Renae; either stone cold businessperson or happy go lucky memelord with a heart of gold. She’s a lot like Logan in that regard, although it’s harder to predict what side of her you’ll see at any given moment. She can either be a super soft bean or the scariest person on the planet

Has been dealing with OCD her whole life, and sometimes it gets particularly bad (especially the intrusive thoughts) but she has a therapist and psychiatrist she sees somewhat regularly

She runs her own coffee shop called Real Bean Café and it does fairly well. She’s always thinking about how she can improve her business

She’s aroace so she isn’t in a romantic relationship but she is in a queerplatonic relationship with a beautiful enby named Pigeon

They actually met in her coffeeshop. Renae saw Pigeon’s Attack on Titan T-shirt and was immediately compelled to talk to them

And that is it for part two of the character bios!!! Might make another post talking about Logan’s sisters’ kids and partners but idk we’ll see 👀

I just really like character designs man lmao

Lemme know if I need to tag anything else my brain box isn’t generating the required tags rn lmao

#ts home for christmas #thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides au #thomile #thomas x picani #thomas x emile #emile picani #adhd picani #adhd emile #character thomas #remy sanders #critic sanders #it/its use #car accident mention #hit and run mention #injury mention #ocd mention #long post

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somniatcr · 5 years ago

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character study series--- d.azai o.samu

where do i even begin--- dazai is possibly... probably... the most complex character within my little roster. and, like izaya ( who i’ve already done a post like this for, which can be found here ) and the rest of my muses i suppose, my dazai is very headcanon based ( though i do take a lot of reference from the series itself, i tend to portray him as i see fit and most enjoy doing so without sacrificing the things that i believe to be pivotal to his character ); to be entirely honest, when it comes to the manga, for bungou stray dogs and for nearly every series to ever exist, i’m not, nor do i imagine that i will ever be, entirely caught up.

all that said, let us delve into dazai; into the way that he thinks, the way that he functions, the way that he acts, and generally who is he as a person ( as well as how i, personally, view and portray his character ).

let me first kick things off with a significant change that i’ve made in regard to his character, in how he’ll be portrayed here on this blog. dazai canonically has a deeply troubled mind. though his frequent, and oftentimes wistful, talk of death and his suicidal behaviors are rarely, if ever, taken seriously within the series itself ( rather being treated as a source of comedic relief, which does somewhat bother me, but it is what it is ), likely due to this penchant that he has for jesting and for over-dramatics, the reality that his mind is very dark and very deeply troubled remains. he feels as though there is this deep, dark hole ( an emptiness, a void ) within him that he’s incapable of filling, regardless of however hard that he tries. a large majority of his life was spent dedicated to this, to trying to fill it, to trying to find some sort of reason to live ( which is why he had initially aligned himself with the port mafia to begin with; he believed that he could, perhaps, find what he’d been searching for, what he’d been longing for, if he lived this life of conflict, of bloodshed and war ), though, obviously, this was to no avail. and while, yes, he will at times use self-depreciating humor, and while, yes, at times his humor may be dark, a bit morbid, his depression and his suicidal thoughts, tendencies, are not rooted in comedy, they are not a source of comedic relief and i, personally, don’t write him, portray him, in that particular light.

that said, does he ultimately want to die? in his youth, yes, absolutely. he hadn’t yet met anyone that he cared for ( he had no attachments, had never felt nor experienced any genuine form of love ). he too no joy from life, spent all this time searching, aching, for purpose, yet couldn’t find it.

and then he met people who meant something. he met chuuya who, though he was adamant that he couldn’t stand him, was interesting. he met odasaku, who managed to break through his barriers unlike anyone before ( or after ) him, who wormed his way into dazai’s heart and gave him this friendship that he never knew that he’d wanted, nor needed, who provided him with a much needed positive role model and with this beacon of hope. this--- this was pivotal in setting about a turning point, in finally setting him on a different path, in giving him the purpose that he’d been searching for all those years. although an irrefutable tragedy, oda’s death ultimately brought about new life in that it ( and in oda’s dying words ) gave dazai a will to live.

all the same, he does still suffer from depression, he’s an insomniac, and he does still struggle with suicidal ideation ( in that he still thinks about death, about dying and all of the ways that he could go about doing it, fairly often ).

moving on,

this is a man with a very dark and violent past, an important thing to keep in mind. while little is known about his past bar from the knowledge that he was affiliated with the port mafia, that he’s been rooted within this world since he was around fourteen years old, back when he met mori ougai ( as well as the fact that he managed to wind up being the youngest executive in port mafia history ), it can be surmised that his time spent working beneath mori likely, at least in part, has resulted in his penchant for apathy, his tendency to emotionally detach himself from others, from death, and from traumatic experiences as a whole ( he’s actually been shown attempting to fill that hole in his heart, in fact, to find joy, to feel something in causing harm to and in killing others, though he never quite does manage to get what he wants ). his experience as a killer and as highly skilled interrogator ( it’s worth noting that he, in fact, specialized in torturing others for information; he’s even once gone so far as to state that there wasn’t a single prisoner who ultimately didn’t wind up spilling everything when he was the one tasked with retrieving it--- and while still being a child ), has been alluded to on more than one occasion and, even to this day, he still manages to command respect and to inspire fear throughout the port mafia, albeit no longer being a member himself.

he is unconcerned with the idea good and evil. while he currently affiliates himself with the armed detective agency, now working to protect ( and to save ) the city and the lives of its inhabitants, his motivation to do so was primarily spurred by the words of a friend prior to his passing; ’ be on the side that saves people. if both sides are the same, be a good man; save the weak and protect the orphans. neither good nor evil means much to you, i know… but that’d make you at least a little bit better. i know better than anyone because… i am your friend. ’

it’s these words, oda sakunosuke, that finally sets him on a different path, that leads him to meeting the members of the armed detective agency, that leads him to meeting nakajima atsushi, an orphan who’s life he, ultimately, does wind up making a difference in, providing him with much needed guidance ( though to say that all of his methods, and all of his motives, in doing so are genuinely good, genuinely selfless, and always would be a little hard-pressed--- also, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is the second orphan to have been taken beneath his wing; the first being akutagawa ryunosuke who’s experiences with dazai were significantly different, the training that he endured beneath him being absolutely hellish, horrific, and cruel ).

ultimately, with him, the ends justify the means and, so, the actions, whether good or evil, mean little to him. he’s willing to use any means, any method, to achieve his goals; this includes playing dirty, causing harm to others, killing / death when deemed necessary, and so on and so forth. such as, for example, purposefully deflating the airbag in someone’s car prior to a car ‘accident’, in turn causing extensive injuries that he’s only willing to have healed by a fellow ability user in exchange for having a young girl pardoned of her past crimes. the end goal was ultimately good, sure, but the means of getting there were anything but.

he’s also an exceptional liar. while his ability to intricately weave together falsehoods, from the most small and insignificant of lies to the most complex of tales, comes naturally, his time spent working for the port mafia only honed his abilities further. and while is doesn’t lie constantly, perhaps not even frequently ( instead opting to simply abstain from providing an answer altogether ), he is, in himself, a walking fabrication, putting on a perennial facade all his own; fake. his true thoughts and emotions are rarely so much as even alluded to, frequently hidden behind a mask of his creation, perfectly crafted and nearly impossible to crack. furthermore, his true intentions, frequently, are left unrevealed until he, himself, chooses to reveal them. in truth, there isn’t a person alive who truly knows or who genuinely understands him. there are a select few ( such as mori ougai, nakahara chuuya ) who come, in their own way, close through all of their time spent working with him ( a former mentor, a former partner ), though none are able to comprehend his actions, his mind, in their entirely, not quite the way that oda was once able to.

it doesn’t help that he is also a man of mystery and deflection. while he may talk and act as though he’s an open book ( and believe me, he does just this and often ), he rarely, if ever, speaks of himself, in regard to his past and present alike. thoughts are locked away, left solely for him to ruminate upon, and emotions are kept hidden, locked deep, deep within, if not attempted to be brushed away in their entirety. furthermore, he has a habit of leaving his comrades, his friends if you can quite call them that, in the dark when it comes to long-game plans and strategies that he has devised and it’s virtually impossible to get a straight or genuine answer from him upon asking a question, so most times it isn’t even worth the effort that it takes to form the words ( not that this has ever stopped anyone from trying, much to their ultimate chagrin ).

and, finally, a basic character and personality breakdown,

name. DAZAI OSAMU, 太宰治 age / d.o.b. 22 / JUNE 19 species. HUMAN / GIFTED ethnicity. JAPANESE gender. CIS-MALE, HE / HIM occupation. DETECTIVE / PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE ( FORMER ) affiliation. ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY / PORT MAFIA ( FORMER ) height. 181 CM / 5'11" weight. 67 KG / 147-148 LBS build. SLIM, LONG-LIMBED hair color. DEEP BROWN, ESPRESSO; MILD, NATURAL WAVES eye color. RED-BROWN, CHESTNUT blood type. AB r / o, s / o. DEMIROMANTIC PANSEXUAL noticeable features. WEARS BANDAGES THAT COVER THE LARGE MAJORITY OF HIS BODY ( * explanation to be provided below ); ONLY HIS FACE, HANDS, AND FEET REMAIN UNCOVERED

ability. NO LONGER HUMAN ** his ability allows him to effectively nullify the abilities of others entirely upon contact, whether with the user themselves or a physical manifestation of their ability. he’s often referred to as an anti-ability user or anti-gifted. zodiac. GEMINI religious belief(s). ATHEIST mbti. INTJ alignment. CHAOTIC NEUTRAL temperament. CHOLERIC mental health. DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL IDEATION pos traits. QUICK THINKER, SHARP, IMAGINATIVE, CLEVER, STRATEGIC, DECISIVE, SELF-CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT, DETERMINED, OBSERVANT, PERCEPTIVE, CALM, COLLECTED, LOGICAL, OPEN-MINDED, QUICK LEARNER, ADAPTABLE, WELL-READ, A JACK OF ALL TRADES neg traits. SECRETIVE, DETACHED, JUDGEMENTAL, ARROGANT, OVERLY DRAMATIC, UNPREDICTABLE, CONFUSING / DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, CAN BE OVERLY ANALYTICAL, HAS DIFFICULTY WITH ( AND LOATHES ) HIGHLY STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENTS, PRONE TO APATHY, PLAYS DIRTY, CAN BE CRUEL, FREQUENTLY INGENUINE neu traits. WITTY, TEASING / JESTING, BLUNT, SOMEWHAT OF A FLIRT, PRONE TO SHIRKING CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITIES, HAS A HABIT OF EMBARRASSING OTHERS ( VERY INTENTIONALLY )

he covers himself in bandages for two very specific reasons. the first being that his body is absolutely riddled with scars; while some were obtained during his port mafia days, equally as many were self-inflicted. the second, they serve as a sort of security blanket, providing him with an unconventional source of comfort.

he’s very well read. he enjoys novels of a wide variety, though he’s usually only seen reading books about suicide or death. he isn’t partial to poetry, however.

he isn’t a big eater whatsoever. he’s generally a one meal per day sort of person and doesn’t snack particularly often furthermore.

he listens to music fairly often during his free time ( when he isn’t reading ). while he doesn’t have much of a preference as far as genres are concerned, he does gravitate primarily toward music that he finds calming, more mellow, or relatable.

he’s highly skilled in the art of lock-picking. he could chalk it up to his time spent with the port mafia, but in truth it’s a talent he’s had since he was a kid.

he doesn’t have a drivers license. he’s never been especially concerned with getting himself one and doesn’t really find that he feels the need for one even now.

he dislikes fizzy and / or bubbly beverages. for the most part, he’s a tea or a coffee drinker, although he’s fine with water, too. also, whiskey. he loves a good whiskey.

he enjoys good company ( although he finds that it’s rare to come by ), good and meaningful conversation, summer storms, late night rain showers, autumn leaves, seafood, and fresh, clean scents.

he dislikes overly sweet foods, the sound of babies crying ( and loud noises in general ), dogs, hot weather, and boring, tedious, and / or repetitive work ( such as paperwork, for example ).

he frequently smells of soap, laundry detergent, and cotton intermingled with a natural scent all his own; fresh, warm, and clean with a hint of musk.

#☆. ( hc )#☆. ( character study )#☆. ( osamu )#and y'all thought izaya's #was long holy christ #depression //#self-harm //#suicide //#violence //#death //

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anchoredtether · 6 years ago

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VOLTRON FORESHADOWING META [MONSTERS & MANA AND THE FEUD]

So I made a post exploring things the D&D episode from s6 could have predicted for s7 - now that we know what happens in s7 and I’m looking back at my meta it’s slightly terrifying how many things were alluded (particularly in regards to Shiro).

I also examine things from the Feud episode, and how it pertains to s8. I think Lance is going to get a character arc in s8, as well as Pidge. Delve under the cut to see the craziness.

PARALLELS FROM MONSTERS & MANA IN S7:

Meklavar was searching for her “family heirloom” - Pidge’s family arguably had the most importance in s7 (SAM HOLT IS MY MAN ahem)

Meklavar was turned huge to defeat Dakin the first time - Pidge unlocked Voltron’s green bayard weapon which was a giant canon.

Meklavar nearly died if it weren’t for Valayun’s healing arrow - Pidge almost got tortured.

Block’s village was turned to stone - Hunk’s family was the only one in danger when they arrived on Earth, being held captive as slaves for the Galra.

Block saved the team from falling into a pit of spikes - Hunk saved the team in the Journey Within (and arguably in A Little Adventure since he was the bait).

Block initiated the “secret” in the game - Hunk fully connected with his Lion and did the eye glow with Yellow.

Pike sets off the trap - Lance was kind of the one at fault for the skunk shrinking the team in A Little Adventure, and nearly made the team lose in the Feud.

Likewise, Pike said “What can I say? I’m good at puzzles and junk” - The Feud proved he clearly isn’t.

Pike had an invisibility cloak - Lance couldn’t connect with his Lion while everyone else could.

Alfor was on the coin Meklavar used to pay for the meal - Alfor was mentioned by Keith (in a harsh way) in The Journey Within.

Shiro wears armor exactly like Alfor’s - although it could be argued Atlas was formed because of the Castle crystal combined with the crystal in Allura’s crown that now powers Shiro’s arm, I think Shiro may have contributed to building Atlas, which parallels Alfor, the one who created Voltron.

Shiro wears a crown - Shiro’s arm is now powered by the stone from Allura’s crown.

Shiro’s master and village all died - Adam died. And although we don’t know anything about Shiro’s family, they weren’t shown at all so if he had one they could have died as well.

Shiro’s master’s dying words were “defeating the Leviathan will teach you all there is to know” - At the end of defeating the Sincline-looking machine, it was revealed to be powered by an Altean.

The last one especially made me start thinking about how The Feud episode could foreshadow things to come in season 8.

PICTATION:

In the Pictation round, Keith draws an Arusian, the Blade of Marmora, the Red Lion, and Haggar.

When the team fails to guess “Haggar,” Bob asks “Zarkon” if he wants to play or pass. Lotor and Haggar say something really interesting.

Lotor: Play! I’ve spent centuries perfecting my exquisite, lifelike renderings. Not that you cared. Haggar: I treasure your art.

Umm... what???

Reminds me of Haggar’s line in s6:

Honerva: You’ve continued the work I started all that time ago and have indeed seen it to heights I could have only imagined.

The Altean colony will be addressed in s8, and I have a feeling there’s going to be a head-to-head with Lotor and Haggar.

Also interesting that after the hint of the Red Lion in the Pictation game, Zarkon chooses LANCE to play the solo round. That kind of foreshadowing is making my Red Lion meta sound more and more possible. Zarkon also says that “the best offense is a good defense” - having the “dumb one” piloting the Lion you’ve tampered with certainly follows that strategy.

FACES FROM THE PAST:

Antok: Bob describes Antok as “Kolivan’s right-hand man who fought valiantly for the good of the universe.” Why would he use that DISTINCT wording of “right-hand man” in the same episode that has foreshadowing about the Red Lion and Lance unless it was supposed to mean something??? I don’t know if I’m reading into things too much or if I stumbled upon something here...

Swirn: OK THIS IS PLANCE SHIPPPER GOGGLES TIME but Lance was excited that it was Plaxa at first but then it landed on Swirn - the “serious” one. When Bob tells him her name Lance says “never would have come up with that one” and all I’m seeing is Allura and Pidge. Pidge is the “serious” one that Lance would never have guessed he’d end up with.

ANYWAY MOVING ON

Rolo: Also “Pidge loved that robot”??? Ok I’m stopping now I’ll contain myself. He remembers that Rolo “faked that distress signal” - interesting that we had that this season with the Blades and Macidus, and I’m thinking if something is up with the Red Lion something similar to The Ruins will happen in s8. Lance remembers the distress signal and Bob reminds him that Rolo “also stole the Blue Lion” and Lance says “that too” dismissively as if that was less important than the distress signal. You’d think Lance would FIRST remember that Rolo stole his precious Blue Lion?? Not that he faked some distress signal?? I seriously forgot about the distress signal, so I think they used this wording/focus for a reason.

This is where things get interesting.

Lance is told if he doesn’t get this last face right he’ll be fed to the Snick, which is part of the title of the show.

You know what else is technically in the title of the show Voltron?

The Red Lion.

And we know it doesn’t go well for Lance as he ends up in the vat of acid. Bob first goes to Allura and she emphasizes that the universe needs Voltron. Voltron wouldn’t happen if the Red Lion was compromised. Similar to when they didn’t have a Black paladin (*cough*parallels*cough*).

Bob then asks who should save Lance, and it’s Pidge.

Pidge ends up tackling Bob (also fun to note that the light with the alarm right afterward is RED). We find out at the end that Bob is arguably some kind of “god.” You know who else is referred to as a “god” in this show?

Am I suggesting that Pidge might take on Lotor? Yes I am.

It would also be a very interesting parallel if Lance was in danger like the foreshadowing suggests, and she is the one to save him, mirroring Lance’s moment of “Don’t you touch her!” (*coughs*PLANCE*runs*)

Lance’s progression of referring to himself as the dumb one is also something of notice since it was such a focus this episode:

“Who’s he talking about?” Oblivious.

“Wait, I’m the dumb one??” Disappointed realization.

“I’m not too happy being referred to as the dumb one, like, 18 times.” Frustration.

“You know I’m the dumb one!!” Self-deprecation.

“I’m not that dumb!” Acceptance.

I’m wondering if he’s going to have some kind of realization in s8, and I think it’s going to involve both Red and his Altean broadsword bayard form.

Coran: “[Bob] judges the worthiness of great warriors.” Lance: “Well I bet he never met anyone worthier than us.” Coran: “The legends say if you meet Bob and live to tell the tale, you’re destined for great things indeed.”

And Allura’s words when Lance got the Altean broadsword?

“You have greatness within.”

And in The Voltron Show what did Coran have the Red Lion say to Lance?

“You’re great, Loverboy Lance!”

It’s interesting to note that in s7 Hunk got his arc and achieved the eye glow with his Lion, and it was addressed that Hunk is considered the coward but it was also resolved when Keith had the heart-to-heart with him and told him how much he admired him for being the most courageous.

Lance was harped time and time again this season as being the dumb one but never got any kind of resolution. Keith did say “[Bob] was kind of a jerk” but that hardly counts, especially when Keith also picked to have Lance leave because he didn’t want to spend an eternity with him.

I’m thinking that all of this is setting the stage for Lance to complete his arc and be fully acknowledged by the team in s8, by the means of doing something great. And I still think it has something to do with my Red Lion meta but we will have to wait and see.

#voltron #voltron meta #voltron theory #voltron s8 prediction #vld #vld theory #vld meta #lance #lance meta #foreshadowing #my meta

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waywardliliana · 6 years ago

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Destiel is real (not sarcastically - it actually is)

I debated a lot about whether to post this because I’m not really a tumblr person, but Twitter is not the right platform for what I want to say. I hope that I can get my thoughts out and make the case for calm rationality.

It’s nearly a week later and I’m still thinking about the J2M panel at JIB10. If you’d told me before last weekend that I’d be sad about being in the room when Jensen said the words “Destiel is real”, I would’ve been concerned about what kind of drugs you were on. I’ve cycled through a lot of emotions since Sunday afternoon, including shock, confusion, anger, disappointment, sadness, and finally, resignation and acceptance. I was in the room, and I’ve watched the panel again from multiple angles, trying to focus on Jensen’s face and body language. By now, I’m sure you’ve all seen it too. I don’t want to dwell too much on my interpretation of exactly what went down, but just so you know where I’m coming from here it is:

Jensen was mocking us.

The reason I’ve been reluctant to share my thoughts is because of two groups of fans. First, people who hate Misha, Destiel, and Destiel shippers. I don’t want to feed into whatever twisted narrative they’ve invented about this incident. Second, the Destiel fans who are adamant that Jensen’s reaction means he’s “Destiel-positive”. I don’t care about reaching out to the first group - their opinions are irrelevant. But I do care deeply about the Destiel fandom, and the people who are looking at all the happy, squeeing accounts of what happened and getting their hopes up that it means something encouraging for our ship going canon on the show. If you’re one of those people, I’m hoping you’ll at least hear me out and not react with anger, because this post is coming from a place of love.

I wish Misha had never called attention to that poor girl’s shirt, because then we wouldn’t be having this conversation and we could just enjoy what was otherwise a wonderful con for pretty much everyone. To be clear, Misha and Jensen are responsible for what went down, and that fan did absolutely nothing wrong. She was wearing a shirt and asking a question about the relationship between two characters, a totally valid thing to ask at a convention for a TV show. I know there are other stories going around of Jensen and Misha reacting to things privately, but I wasn’t there so they’re not going to inform my thinking. All I have to go on is how Jensen reacted when confronted with the concept of Destiel in PUBLIC, as well as how he has reacted in the past (also - there could be consequences for the girl with the shirt because of what happened, and Misha had to physically and verbally restrain Jensen to keep the situation from escalating, so please keep these two things in mind - context is important).

I don’t know how Jensen really feels about Destiel. No one does except him and maybe Danneel, maybe Misha and Jared, maybe the writers. We do know how he feels about bi!Dean because he has stated on multiple occasions during fan interactions that it is NOT his interpretation of his character. But anyone who is claiming that Jensen is totally fine with Destiel because of what he did on stage at JIB is at best, putting a positive spin on what happened because of their desire for their ship to go canon, and at worst, pushing a narrative that is dangerous and irresponsible.

Here’s my counterpoint:

Whatever you think happened, it shouldn’t change how you feel about the ship. It shouldn’t change your opinion on whether the show is ever going to deliver a satisfying explanation for why Dean and Cas can’t be in the same room together without generating massive amounts of angst, or why their interactions are always so tense and fraught with unspoken emotions, or why Cas has given up everything he’s ever known to stay with Dean, or why Dean ran around Purgatory for a WHOLE ASS YEAR because he wouldn’t leave without Cas. That is all REAL and it is whether Jensen likes it or not. Jensen may not be intentionally playing into it (whereas I 100% believe Misha plays Cas as in love with Dean intentionally), but his performance is still one of the reasons people ship Dean with Cas.

Jensen also isn’t a writer. The guys talked a lot at JIB about what they want for the end of the show, but they also made sure to emphasize that they are not responsible for where the story is going to end up. It simply isn’t Jensen’s call whether Destiel happens or not. I’m sure his opinion will be taken into account, but I don’t think it’s the decisive factor. None of J2M have ever had producer credits on Supernatural, and after 15 years, that’s by choice. They’re not interested in that responsibility. Jensen does not get to decide what happens with Destiel. Andrew Dabb and the rest of the writers do.

So whatever you thought before this whole “Destiel is real” thing happened, you should still think that. In the past year, I personally have gone from wholeheartedly believing we were going to get canon endgame confirmation, to believing the most we’ll ever get is an ambiguous acknowledgment that it is, indeed, a thing. There are a whole host of reasons for my change of heart but that’s not what this post is about. I’m worried. I’m worried people are getting their hopes up to astronomical heights and it’s only going to lead to heartbreak and disappointment. But if you believe it’s going to happen, for fuck’s sake, keep believing that! Just please don’t take what Jensen did up on stage at JIB at face value - there was a lot going on in that whole exchange, including things we don’t know about. But it has nothing to do with whether Dean and Cas are ever going to be allowed to get over their bullshit and be happy together.

Please don’t take this as me telling you that you’re wrong to be optimistic. I will ship Dean and Cas until the end of time and nothing will ever change that, no matter what happens with the show. I don’t want to take anyone’s hope away because hope is a beautiful thing. But it doesn’t hurt to temper that hope with a little bit of realism. Nothing would make me happier than to have to come back to this post in a year’s time and talk about how the show finally delivered on over a decade’s worth of promises. But I personally can’t continue to watch the show as it is and believe it’s going to happen. That doesn’t mean anyone else has to do the same - it’s up to each person to manage their own expectations.

Destiel is real. It’s real in the narrative subtext of the show, and in fandom, it’s real in all the meta posts, gif sets, fan art, and fan fiction. Jensen doesn’t understand us as a fandom sometimes. I don’t think there’s any malice behind it - he just doesn’t get it. Destiel is real to us, and ultimately, that’s all that matters.

#destiel mytwocents istilllovejensen mishaisatroll

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itsanemptytomb · 6 years ago

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Messenger RP: Fight Talk; Then and Now

Fight Talk; Then and Now

Adam, Abe, Emily

20-23 October 2016 ______________________

Adam to Abe; protip - the coke you did isn't the coke Emily and Henry did. It's been refined to be a whole new monster. If you and Emily ever binge watch some shit don't let her egg you on. She can take moose coke that you can.

Abe to Emily: did he just fucking say that?

Emily: -puts her hands up- Don't look at me! I can't even believe we're having this conversation.

Adam: -chuckles-

Emily: Do you two talk often?

Abe: not really.

Emily: Are you just talking 'cause I'm here?

Adam: Henry's afraid well start punching each other if we're in the same place for too long.

Emily: -mutters- That's kinda what I was expecting... Or an intervention.

Abe: plus the mun can't come up with something for them to do in the room that won't end in frustration and at least a punch. And it's hard when is the same mun.

Emily: Is it bad that I'm kinda curious to see you fight?

Abe: These days he won't win as badly. I can put up at least some thing resembling a fight.

Adam: the first time we fought I actually never touched you and you still lost.

Abe: you don't have minions any more.

Emily: What about the strays?

Both: they hardly/don't count.

Adam: the are too young.

Abe: canon fodder.

Emily: Plus, weren't you human?

Abe: yeah, I was. Both times.

Emily: -looks between them both- I think he could take you for a round or two. Hey!! Do we have vampire MMA or boxing or anything?

Adam: No, no vampires in sport. Yet. Things go viral to easily these days. Once we have a 'place' then hell yeah.

Emily: We could do a fight in the ballroom. No tech allowed. Besides, I know most of the strays don't want to be found. That's why they're here.

Emily: I mean-- I'm not saying you SHOULD fight. Just that-- Just that it would be interesting.

Abe: I've been a duel...

Adam: you sure you've been keeping in shape?

Emily: -looks more excited than she really should-

Abe: It would be really hard to keep it a friendly match. It's far too easy for these things to get personal.

Emily: I'll fight you?

Abe: I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't know if I could really fight you so much as as move about a bit and let you punch me.

Emily: Are you afraid to fight me?

Abe: I don't want you to take this the wrong way.... I can't always control my strength and I... accidents happen. I'm afraid I might hurt you.

Emily: -clenches her jaw tightly- I'm stronger than I look. And quicker than you can imagine. I might get scared, but-- I'm strong. And we're nearly the same age!

Abe: I know. I know you're capable and I know I'm being absurd.

Emily: -looks to Adam almost pleadingly-

Adam: she's been on her own, and Henry taught her sone things. And so did I, for that matter. She could give you a run, Lincoln. But Emily.... you have to keep in mind /when/ he's from. He's lost fights.... several. All against lady vampires.

Emily: -sighs dramatically- Just like the boys near one of my schools. 'It's not proper to hit a lady.' Is that right? Well then, I'll just go ahead and give you a good bop on the nose! Guess how long I lasted at THAT school?

Abe: *smiles* and it's wonderful that you can do that. I... on the one issue, I cant help it. I know I need to let go of those thoughts. But on the other... as Adam how hard I hit.

Emily: -grumbles- I'm from the same time... And English!

Emily: Did you ever fight ada's sister?

Abe: Yeah I did. And I lost. Spectacularly. Part of it is because she took her skirt off half way through the fight.

Adam: bull shit! You ran at her chin first and she kicked you in the face. One of the funniest damn things I've seen in a long time was when she tossed her skirt all 'toro toro'.

Abe: she took her skirt off and you threw a chair at me.

Emily: -barely holding back giggles- Seriously?

Adam: seriously.

Abe: *slowly nods*

Emily: That's fucking epic! And I thought I was bad when I cut a slit up the side of my skirt and nearly gave some 13 year old snot a coronary when he saw my bloomers. Wait-- Why'd you throw a chair at him?

Adam: I want throwing it at him, but Vadoma. She caught it after kicking him flat in his back and then pour the choir down in top of him to sit on and pin him.

Emily: Ooookay... Why'd you throw a chair at Vadoma? And why were you all fighting in the first place?

Abe: it.... he invited me to attend a ball.

Emily: That's... Nice?

Adam: It was an integrated ball in an age when Lincoln was still an ass. The fact that whites and blacks were mingled and dancing together pissed him off enough that he drew his ax and charged in. Vampire defended and humans fled. The humans who were eaten that night were court appointed executions as he later found out. Black and White and human and vampire all together for a ball.

Abe: I told you would wouldn't like me very much back them, Emily. But, Adam... perhaps I wouldn't have been so quick to violence if you hadn't have kidnapped a friend of mine to get me there.

Emily: You wanted him to see that everyone could get along on equal footing, right? Be he-- -looks to Abraham- But you wouldn't listen. 'Cause if you were an ass about blacks and whites integrating, then I can't even imagine what you were like with the idea of humans and vampires together. -turns back to Adam- That's why you took his friend, right? To force him to come and see for himself. I'm not saying it was the BEST idea, but I kinda understand...

Abe: I was a very different man back then. I've grown since then.

Adam: thank the gods for that.

Emily: How old were you?

Abe: ooooh.... working at Speed's shop so... 20-25. Maybe 28 at the most.

Adam: if I might.... Em... Dad bragged. Lincoln is the only time I've ever heard Henry brag. Long before Jack stole the watch, everyone, well undead at least, knew who Lincoln was. I was astonished to hear that Henry was actually bragging. Not only about Lincon's skill as a hunter, but Henry had alluded to a world changer. To Lincoln's credit.....

Abe: I hate that word

Adam: he was out there campaigning for rational race relations. During his brief first run with politics he stopped slavery in his district. But there was an acceptable split hair in those days. You could hate slavery and still be a racist.

Adam: the ball was because I was desperate to meet the man Henry thought worthy of bragging about. But as a lead to Henry and maybe Lincoln really was the answer. A way out of the war before it happened. But the man in the ball room want yet ready to change the world, he was a righteous hypocrite.

Abe: I was also recovering from a bout with depression at the time of the ball.

Emily: Who started the fight?

Adam: to be honest I think we both did. The moment he set foot in Eden I knew he was a hypocrite. So I disappointment made me sarcastic. Really? That's the man who inspired Henry and Henry was in love with? Also running into the house bearing an ax with start some shit, in any age.

Adam: did you really have to drive a wagon though the ball room and my living room and hall way just because Vadoma sat on you?

Emily: SERIOUSLY?!

Abe: now wait a minute.... you threatened to force me to turn and you said you'd spoon feed me the blood of my friend!

Abe: yeah I drove a wagon through the house. Right through those big windows in the living room and ball rooms.

Emily: -spins back to face Adam- You were gonna what--?!

Adam: disappointment makes me sarcastic.

VW OOC: they had a vampire sidebar about the other thing Adam said that night. Abe isn't brining it up because Henry asked him to stop airing family laundry. Adam because he and Henry have already spoken about it and worked it out.

KC OOC: Which was?

Emily: That doesn't sound sarcastic, that sounds... That sounds super villainy.

VW OOC: Adam asked Abe to kill Henry. - in game Adam was grandstanding for the minions just to get Abe into the office where they could really talk.

Adam: I forget sometimes, that not everyone is as jaded as I am. My sense of humor reflects it.

Emily: That just seems like something you don't joke about. It's like-- It's like a rape joke. Those of us that were turned against our will, in fear and pain and-- And it's just not right to joke about.

Adam: yeah I know that now. It was mostly sarcastic, but very villainy. Stop being an idiot. Stop being a hypocrite. You have a destiny and you have Henry.

Emily: You were jealous.

Adam: yeah.

Emily: I can't believe you actually admitted that.

Adam: I'm not the jealous type. Henry's been with others; men and women, and more power to him for it. But even if Henry was bragging about Lincon, Lincoln wasn't making him happy. In fact.... no I'm not going there.

Abe: she knows that I tried to kill him at least twice.

Emily: I'm starting to get why dad REALLY doesn't want you two in the same room for long.

Abe: though the second time wasn't really trying to cut Henry's head of more than it was me goading him into killing me. Didn't work.

Adam: Mmmm mm. Then it's only fair she know. I didn't only threaten to force Lincon to turn and spoon feed him his friends blood..... we were surrounded by vampires. Eden was at its height during the ballroom fight. I just wanted to get you into a privet room and you had just killed 20 vampires. They weren't going to give us privacy any other way.... so I asked Lincon if he was willing to kill Henry.

Adam: to his credit he was a loyal hypocrite.

Adam: Dad and I have talked about this. He knows I was in a difficult position and desperate to get into contact with him at that time.

Adam: as for how hard he can punch..... it's hard. Even as a human. Standing swing, no pull back.... he punched a hole into my gut using a silver watch.

Emily: -winces and whimpers quietly- Was that at the ballroom or-- Or the train?

Adam: the punch was on the train. It's why I couldn't get off before it collapsed.

Emily: And dad... Dad dropped it on you?

Adam: A stroke of Providence by accident. It's not like he could aim it, after all. I watched from below. The train almost made it to the end of the bridge. Just 1 foot more and Lincoln and Will could have jumped to safety. But it didn't get there. The angle was to steep. The train began to slide backwards, into the gorge. And then 2 things happened right after another.....first the train stopped moving. Even after the rail and wood had gone from under it. The train stayed right where it was, even moved forward a foot.

Adam has an odd smile akin to devilish pride

Adam: Henry was picking it up. He lifted quite a few tons of steel and iron. Henry was in a hell of a spot that night and knew he could only save one of us. He picked Lincoln. I always knew Henry was stronger than anyone knew. Physically and mentally. My bother and sister, Lincoln. Even the Union. They all underestimated him and now there he was picking up a damn train.

Adam: but he couldn't hold it for long. He saved us both that night. Abe jumped to safety. But I was facing a rain of fire and stakes and red hot steel railing. I couldn't run and would have burned but Henry dropped the train and a car fell on me. A steel beam and a rock pile broke open the side just moments before it hit and I was safe. - spent the night in a makeshift oven but I should survive a bit of heat easily enough.

Emily: -eyes dart wildly between her father and Abraham- Oh. My. God. If this is my family history, reincarnation doesn't seem unlikely.

Emily: I can't believe you two can sit here together!

Abe: Time is funny like that. It's great for cooling anger. Might take a while more before we get to neutral ground. But I have to face it; that war was a moment in time. I wish to God that it had give differently, quicker and kinder. But Adam hasn't given a hint of anything like that since. I grew up. Perhaps he's still growing.

Emily: -smiles at her dad- I think we all are.

#Fight Talk; Then and Now #bloodanddye #vampireadam #Messenger #Adam #Emily Sturges #Emily #tags preserved for the comments of the OP

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cozylittleartblog · 7 years ago

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tagged by @littlefreaky13

Nicknames: just Liz, but some people have taken to calling me ‘cozy’ in reference to my URL if they don’t know my name and i love that

Sign: Pisces

Height: 5’8

Time: ...like, current time? 11:47 AM :o

Birthday: March 2nd (EHEHEH SOON imnotreadylolimgonnabe20SendHelp)

Fave Bands: Steam Powered Giraffe, Wintergatan

Fave Solo Artists: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I Got No Idea

Song Stuck in my Head: i’ve been listening to this one fred astaire CD for a while and instead of one song stuck in my head its kinda an amalgamation of the whole CD, bits and pieces of all the songs mashed together into one

Last Movie I watched: Follow The Fleet (is good film for its time)

Last Show I watched: Steven Universe

When did I create my blog: 2013 I think?

What Do I Post: Art, this is my art blog after all xD

Last Thing I Googled: ‘how to view search history’ because it just occurred to me I Have No Idea How To, and then i realized ‘oh shit that IS the last thing i googled. well. guess i answered that question.’ the funny thing is, literally all the results included clearing your search history too. gee. i wonder what you weirdos are up to. also i. didn’t actually learn how to view my search history. i think it wasss.... me trying to find information on that last movie i watched?

Do I Have Any Other Blogs: oh lord don’t ask me that question :’D @girlwiththegreenhat, @ask-joeydrewstudios, and a handful of other inactive blogs on top of those that im not linking because they’re inactive.

Do I Get Asks: Sometimes :P

Instruments: what does this meeaaannnn do you want like, my favorite instruments?? instruments i can play?? what are you asking-- im just gonna answer both of those. music box, and piano/guitar but i suck at both

Why Did I Choose My URL: it came to me suddenly around the same time i realized i needed to make an art-exclusive blog.

Following: 0, because sideblog, but my main blog follows.... like 180 blogs i think? or was it 160...? only like a third or less of them are actually active though, a lot of them i just follow as a “bookmark”

Followed By: 1057 though a lot of them act like they’re dead lolol

Average Hours of Sleep: 8 ~ 10

What Am I Wearing: my black and yellow hyperion shirt and black jeans. also, the nightmare before christmas socks. did i mention i like cool socks yet??

Dream job: i guess its called a showrunner, i wanna make some animated shows for TV :o

Dream Trip: disneyland with friends. i’ve only been to disneyworld :o

Fav Food: french fries. fries before guys always :P

Fav Song: Mr. Blue Sky by ELO

Last Book I Read: killing is my business - adam christopher (which i read in like, july/august, i dont read a lot of tangible books okay)

Top 3 Universes I’d Like to Join: BATIM preferably my AU because its not nearly as sad or life-threatening and its a time-travel trip on top of that nyeheheh but i wanna punch “bendy”/joey in the face and give “alice” a hug so i’ll take canon too, Steven Universe, and Fallout IF ONLY so i can give nick valentine a hug too. if i cant then the whole trip is wasted.

im too lazy to tag people, do this if you want an excuse to talk about yourself on the navy blue void that is tumblr

#tag meme #not art #i really wanna hug a lot of fictional characters #so many sad people that could use the love :c

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golshxd-blog · 6 years ago

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The original glass is in this window

The 2nd May 2019 marked the 500th anniversary of the death of one of the most multi talented people who has ever lived. He died at Château du Clos Lucé, Amboise, in France, and was often referred to as a Universal Genius.

A glimpse into his atelier

Another shot of his atelier

Yes, that’s a very bold statement, but consider this, he dabbled in, drawing, painting, sculpting, architecture, science, music, mathematics, engineering, literature, anatomy, geology, astronomy, botany, writing, history, and cartography.

Of course I’m talking about Leonardo Da Vinci.

Discussing Anne & my recent visit to Château du Clos Lucé with Philippe we both agreed we would love to have been able to swap brains with him.

Just imagine the photos you could create with his intellect, talent and artistic perception and perspective.

Of course, that age old question came up with Philippe, what camera would the great LdV use if he were alive today.

Leonardo’s final sleeping place.

Hang on before you get excited and say XYZ camera.

Firstly we need to exam the different Genre of photography and ask ourselves which he would have favoured LdV.

Portraits – Mona Lisa, The Last Supper, The Virgin and Child with St. Anne, maybe he could be the new celebrity photographer to the rich and famous, but would he be so frivolous.

Macro – I’m sure this would’ve been of substantial interest given his interest in engineering and inventions for one.

Landscape

Street

Architecture

Would he want to be the next Ansel Adams, Robert Capa, Vivian Maier, Edward Weston, HCB, Richard Avedon, Annie Leibovitz, or just an enthusiast photographer. IMHO LdV would excel in all genres he decided to pursue.

Before we get to the topic of which camera, in our modern age of school media would LvD be a YouTuber, Facebooker or Instragramer and chase likes and emojis.

From what I could glean from some quick research very little is known about his actual life. Freud concludes by saying “that we actually know very little about Leonardo’s life, especially his youth, so his analysis of the man’s life and mind is based mostly on speculation”.

I will hypothesis and say that LdV would be oblivious to social media and that creative experimentation and the results is what would drive him, not notoriety on the web. Of course some of you may disagree.

Nikon, Canon, Sony, Fuji, Pentax, Hasselblad, Phase One to name a few or a Leica.

Of course Nikon immediately sprang to mind from me, being a user of the brand since 2012. Whilst a D850 with excellent glass Zeiss Otus (28/55/85/100) what else, would fit the bill for landscape, portraits, architecture. Add a Zeiss Milvus 100/2 for macro, what Nikon AF lens for street. Some of you may say well a Z7 with the new Z35/1.8S. Yes that would be excellent kit that most of us would be very happy to have.

As for Canon the 5DsR is getting a little long in the tooth but is still a good camera. I’d match it with the same lens as above. For street mmm, I’m unsure what Canon would be best fit for use, I’m guessing some of you will have a thought and suggestion.

Sony has been kicking goals and continues to do so for some years so a A7R111 with the appropriate G Master Glass would be the order of the day, a one stop shop.

Fuji like Sony have been doing many things right in the camera world firstly they listen to their customers, from what I can glean from the media. The GFX 100 and the appropriate lens would fit the bill for all genres except macro and they don’t have a specific Marco lens that I know of. For street an XT-3 would fit the bill nicely with say a XX lens.

Ah, now the big names, well old ones that have been around for a long time and are spoken of with reverence but most photographers and are on the wish list only if…..

First up, Hasselblad maybe I should let Pascal comment here, on second thoughts here are my thoughts. H6D or X1D? Both have the glass to meet the requirements of LdV. The H6D would meet the requirement for all but street. But would the X1D make it as a street camera. After watching Pascal shoot during a photowalk (inset link to article) I have my doubts that you could capture people in the street, but cityscapes would be no problem.

Phase One again like the Hassie would be let down for street.

Leica ah you say yes a big tick for street as the great HCB used one. So for street an M10 with Summilux-M 50mm f/1.4 ASPH. As for landscape etc, well the SL and appropriate lens should fit the bill.

The burning question is what Camera System would LdV use is……

To be totally honest I have no idea as the choice and ranch of systems he would have to choose from is very large and wide, price of course doesn’t come into to it.

All the above mentioned have their pro’s and con’s, weight, size, DR.

IMHO whatever system he decided upon would do the job. The other question to ask yourself would one system perform at the highest levels for each genre. I don’t think so…….. over to you.

Pascal adds

Dallas kindly asked me to make a few suggestions of my own and, to me, there can only be one answer: a large format view camera. Let me explain.

Leonardo da Vinci is credited as being one the most brilliant inventors in human history. Some now suggest that he may have been a great curator of inventions, but that wouldn’t lessen his talent in my eyes, on the contrary. I think it takes even more genius to recognise brilliance in the work of others and develop them in your own, than to huff and puff as a hermit, which is what he was reported to do. Wikipedia writes :

He made substantial discoveries in anatomy, civil engineering, geology, optics, and hydrodynamics, but he did not publish his findings and they had no direct influence on subsequent science.

Wikipedia entry (greatly saddened italics, my own)

Whatever the case, the man seemed interested in everything. A man fascinated by a holistic view of the world, to speak the modern tongue.

Needless to say I can only imagine the irony of his satire on what the photographic industry has evolved into. One strange land filled with denizens who at the same time worship only speed and turn their gaze and social drumming nearly exclusively to such fast-moving subjects as the Eiffel Tower, the Matterhorn and Icelandic glaciers.

In fact, I rather fancy the idea of Lisa del Giocondo quietly wetting herself with laughter at the thought, while he described it to her, during their sessions together.

No, Leo wouldn’t have been one to let a piece of baked sand tell him where to focus and how to set aperture. The very idea would have driven him to refine some dire variant of his steam cannon.

A man of his intellectual stature and insatiable curiosity would have revelled in the subtleties of the Scheimpflug principle. He would have considered the chemistry of collodion and paladium a sublime form of photographic haute cuisine. He would have elevated the hands-on experience of print making to the same heights as tempera and oil.

There’s a reason many of the most eagerly collected artistic photographers today use, or have used, large format view cameras. And the grand daddy of them all would have too. Only, he’d have made them even better.

Philippe adds

Ahhh…to write about Master Leonardo…. no easy task, the man was such a giant among men. But, for sure, he wouldn’t have wanted to be “just a photographer”. He would leave that to lesser men, like (his opinion)… Michelangelo. Remember, one of the reasons we have so few works from him is that he wasn’t interested in “just” painting, or sculpting. He wanted each piece to break new ground in some way. So it would have been the same with his photography.

Yesteryear’s selfie…

The power of his inventive mind would have pushed the boundaries, if only on paper. In what direction? I see at least 3 of them, based on his work and interests.

I see his deep study-based understanding of human anatomy. And, at the time, that was no mere fancy. The Church frowned on anything like opening up cadavers, so Leonardo did it at great risk. I posit that he would have invented the camera that would let hm fully uncover all the mysteries of the human body. How? By not only capturing the outside of his subject, but actually by looking inside. Yes. inside matter. Not only inside tubes, the way of an endoscope, no inside matter itself. Leonardo, the genius!

The second camera would serve Leonardo the architect. For that, he would have designed a camera that would so fully capture perspective and depth as to be fully 3D in virtual reality. You will counter that VR is video and not still-photo. That, my friends, is not the sort of limitation that would hold Leonardo back

The third camera is of course the most interesting. It captures objects in time. A time-travel camera. Actually, I could tell you how it works, having deciphered Leonardo’s secret, coded papers, and it is INCREDIBLE. Unfortuntely I haven’t heard from the Patent Office just yet, so you’ll have to wait. But I make you a promise. You will be the first to know. Yes, here on DS. No-one gets it sooner than you. Just, for your own sake, don’t hold your breath…

Posted on DearSusan by Dallas Thomas.

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thegoodlannister · 8 years ago

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Shuck anon here. I worded that badly. The point I wanted to make is that not every fic that mentions a Hux/Kylo size difference does it to drive home heteronormative stereotyping. What drew me (and plenty of others) to this ship is the interpretation that Kylo can be both physically imposing AND vulnerable. The side of the ship that prefer the 34, scary take on Hux is not big. It's painful that we now have to pick teams on whether we consider AD's figure representative of Kylo or not.

let me start out by saying that if my previous answer made you feel that those of us who prefer kylo in a more submissive role now have to choose “teams” or “sides - have to draw dividing lines between us that weren’t there before - I apologize. I realize my answer was flippant - it’s simply that I’m rather frustrated. still, that’s no excuse. I always appreciate a good fic rec, especially when it’s sometimes such a struggle to find fic that resonates with me in this fandom, and while I stand behind my assertion that there’s something fishy about kylo being described as “overly large” - as “hulking” or “brutish” - I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly, as I haven’t read the fic in question.

what I want you to understand is that I’m not denying there’s a size difference between hux and kylo. there is. kylo - if we assume he is the same height as adam driver, which I think it is safe to accept as fact - is nearly two inches taller than hux. (again assuming that hux is the same height as domhnall gleeson.) he also is broader across the shoulders and, even at his thinnest, would likely have a bit of weight on him because, you know, different body types. that’s how things like this work. I get it. so would I be shocked to come upon depictions of kylo that paint him as slightly taller and broader than hux is? no, of course not! that’s what I, at least, saw on screen: a quite tall, broad-shouldered, somewhat gangly boy who at times appeared to wish he could shrink so he could take up less space.

that need/wish to take up less space, as well as a marked discomfort in his own body, is an important aspect of kylo’s character, imo, and I’d love to see it explored more.

but here’s the thing: this is not what we see depicted in fic and art. what we see is a kylo who is cartoonishly large. muscled to the point that it would be nearly obscene, were it not so often treated as a joke. one that reads “see, he’s so outrageously huge and unaware of his body that he just might crush hux’s hand if he tried to hold it! what an oaf, how is he even going to fit anywhere?” one that exists, mostly, I would argue, to serve as a counterpoint to hux’s delicate and desirable physique. (after all, there’s never any question which body type is favorable, even when kylo is taking on a more vulnerable role - as in those cases, we are, without fail, treated at least once to hux referring to him as an “oaf” who “shouldn’t be allowed to paw at him.”)

and while I understand how something like this might in fact make someone vulnerable in ways that aren’t necessarily physical, I struggle to see kylo in this description at all? it’s just… not him. it’s not even adam driver - not even at his most heavily muscled. if we go by canon descriptions of kylo, we get words like “lithe” and phrases like “deprived of nourishment” (as witnessed by his own father). reviewers wax poetic about adam with descriptions such as: “a weak chin, a low-set nose, gentle eyes, and flowing black tresses that would look more appropriate on a poetry grad student, “an easter island statue reborn as a delicate and sensitive boy,” and over and over again, “gawky”or “gangly.”

at no point have I ever seen anyone outside of the fandom on tumblr describe kylo by his great, hulking size, and though it’s certainly not my place to tell other people how best to depict this character, the fandom’s focus on exaggerating the size difference between hux and kylo at the expense of this character’s appearance as portrayed in the film and novels doesn’t work for me - personally. there’s something deeply uncomfortable about it. something that doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not the physically larger person in a relationship can take on a more submissive role and has everything to do with why we need to alter their appearances to make them so extreme in the first place.

I hope this makes sense.

#still not tagging this #also this will likely be the last ask I answer regarding this subject #I am very tired

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vampireadam · 6 years ago

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Messenger RP: Fight Talk; Then and Now

Fight Talk; Then and Now

Adam, Abe, Emily

20-23 October 2016 ______________________

Abe to Emily: did he just fucking say that?

Emily: -puts her hands up- Don't look at me! I can't even believe we're having this conversation.

Adam: -chuckles-

Emily: Do you two talk often?

Abe: not really.

Emily: Are you just talking 'cause I'm here?

Adam: Henry's afraid well start punching each other if we're in the same place for too long.

Emily: -mutters- That's kinda what I was expecting... Or an intervention.

Abe: plus the mun can't come up with something for them to do in the room that won't end in frustration and at least a punch. And it's hard when is the same mun.

Emily: Is it bad that I'm kinda curious to see you fight?

Abe: These days he won't win as badly. I can put up at least some thing resembling a fight.

Adam: the first time we fought I actually never touched you and you still lost.

Abe: you don't have minions any more.

Emily: What about the strays?

Both: they hardly/don't count.

Adam: the are too young.

Abe: canon fodder.

Emily: Plus, weren't you human?

Abe: yeah, I was. Both times.

Emily: -looks between them both- I think he could take you for a round or two. Hey!! Do we have vampire MMA or boxing or anything?

Adam: No, no vampires in sport. Yet. Things go viral to easily these days. Once we have a 'place' then hell yeah.

Emily: We could do a fight in the ballroom. No tech allowed. Besides, I know most of the strays don't want to be found. That's why they're here.

Emily: I mean-- I'm not saying you SHOULD fight. Just that-- Just that it would be interesting.

Abe: I've been a duel...

Adam: you sure you've been keeping in shape?

Emily: -looks more excited than she really should-

Abe: It would be really hard to keep it a friendly match. It's far too easy for these things to get personal.

Emily: I'll fight you?

Abe: I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't know if I could really fight you so much as as move about a bit and let you punch me.

Emily: Are you afraid to fight me?

Abe: I don't want you to take this the wrong way.... I can't always control my strength and I... accidents happen. I'm afraid I might hurt you.

Emily: -clenches her jaw tightly- I'm stronger than I look. And quicker than you can imagine. I might get scared, but-- I'm strong. And we're nearly the same age!

Abe: I know. I know you're capable and I know I'm being absurd.

Emily: -looks to Adam almost pleadingly-

Abe: *smiles* and it's wonderful that you can do that. I... on the one issue, I cant help it. I know I need to let go of those thoughts. But on the other... as Adam how hard I hit.

Emily: -grumbles- I'm from the same time... And English!

Emily: Did you ever fight ada's sister?

Abe: Yeah I did. And I lost. Spectacularly. Part of it is because she took her skirt off half way through the fight.

Adam: bull shit! You ran at her chin first and she kicked you in the face. One of the funniest damn things I've seen in a long time was when she tossed her skirt all 'toro toro'.

Abe: she took her skirt off and you threw a chair at me.

Emily: -barely holding back giggles- Seriously?

Adam: seriously.

Abe: *slowly nods*

Adam: I want throwing it at him, but Vadoma. She caught it after kicking him flat in his back and then pour the choir down in top of him to sit on and pin him.

Emily: Ooookay... Why'd you throw a chair at Vadoma? And why were you all fighting in the first place?

Abe: it.... he invited me to attend a ball.

Emily: That's... Nice?

Abe: I told you would wouldn't like me very much back them, Emily. But, Adam... perhaps I wouldn't have been so quick to violence if you hadn't have kidnapped a friend of mine to get me there.

Abe: I was a very different man back then. I've grown since then.

Adam: thank the gods for that.

Emily: How old were you?

Abe: ooooh.... working at Speed's shop so... 20-25. Maybe 28 at the most.

Abe: I hate that word

Abe: I was also recovering from a bout with depression at the time of the ball.

Emily: Who started the fight?

Adam: did you really have to drive a wagon though the ball room and my living room and hall way just because Vadoma sat on you?

Emily: SERIOUSLY?!

Abe: now wait a minute.... you threatened to force me to turn and you said you'd spoon feed me the blood of my friend!

Abe: yeah I drove a wagon through the house. Right through those big windows in the living room and ball rooms.

Emily: -spins back to face Adam- You were gonna what--?!

Adam: disappointment makes me sarcastic.

KC OOC: Which was?

Emily: That doesn't sound sarcastic, that sounds... That sounds super villainy.

VW OOC: Adam asked Abe to kill Henry. - in game Adam was grandstanding for the minions just to get Abe into the office where they could really talk.

Adam: I forget sometimes, that not everyone is as jaded as I am. My sense of humor reflects it.

Adam: yeah I know that now. It was mostly sarcastic, but very villainy. Stop being an idiot. Stop being a hypocrite. You have a destiny and you have Henry.

Emily: You were jealous.

Adam: yeah.

Emily: I can't believe you actually admitted that.

Abe: she knows that I tried to kill him at least twice.

Emily: I'm starting to get why dad REALLY doesn't want you two in the same room for long.

Abe: though the second time wasn't really trying to cut Henry's head of more than it was me goading him into killing me. Didn't work.

Adam: to his credit he was a loyal hypocrite.

Adam: Dad and I have talked about this. He knows I was in a difficult position and desperate to get into contact with him at that time.

Adam: as for how hard he can punch..... it's hard. Even as a human. Standing swing, no pull back.... he punched a hole into my gut using a silver watch.

Emily: -winces and whimpers quietly- Was that at the ballroom or-- Or the train?

Adam: the punch was on the train. It's why I couldn't get off before it collapsed.

Emily: And dad... Dad dropped it on you?

Adam has an odd smile akin to devilish pride

Emily: -eyes dart wildly between her father and Abraham- Oh. My. God. If this is my family history, reincarnation doesn't seem unlikely.

Emily: I can't believe you two can sit here together!

Emily: -smiles at her dad- I think we all are.

#Long Post #Fight Talk; Then and Now #bloodanddye #itsanemptytomb #Emily #Abraham #tags preserved for the comments of the OP

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nofomoartworld · 8 years ago

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Hyperallergic: Required Reading

Brothers Adam and David Nagy have created the first clear coffee drink. It is made from Aracica beans and promises not to stain your teeth. (via My Modern Met)

“It’s about time for the Indigenous art canon to create a space for gender-variant and sexually diverse voices.”:

But Indigenous feminist art of the late 1990s through the 2010s isn’t the Indigenous womanism of generations past. Indigenous womanism seeks to emancipate entire Indigenous communities, including men, believing deeply that the struggle of our men is our struggle as a people. Next-generation Indigenous feminist artists and thinkers do not seek to reconcile themselves to patriarchal peoples and institutions. Instead they unapologetically take up and take back space. They rage against the gallery and the current affairs of arts administration, asserting that their practices happen in the streets and around kitchen tables; that Indigenous feminist art and cultural writing is self-published, self-distributed and defined within and around community; and, above all, that they aren’t afraid to talk back to the man (or their men, for that matter).

A consciously queer reading of the 2017 Whitney Biennial:

In the 2017 Biennial, the idea of non-normative sexual and gender identities emerges through a more truthful array of lenses, surfacing visual approaches that limn questions of autobiography alongside economics and politics. Where the curators’ choice of artists ensures a space for more singular voices, so too does it invite a secondary reading of contemporary experiences of queerness that collectively complicate and modernize a historically fraught approach.

New York Magazine art critic Jerry Saltz reflects on his former life as an artist and probes his own story in the process:

On the outside things were great. On the inside I was in agony, terrified, afraid of failing, anxious about what to do next and how to do it. I started not working for longer and longer periods. Hiding it. Then not hiding it. Until all I had left was calling myself an artist. At 27, I had what I think of as a one-year walking nervous breakdown. Which was shattering. I began having panic attacks; couldn’t be around people even though I was dying to be around them; got insomnia, took five-hour walks to wear myself down, was filled with bitter envy for everyone and everything. In this state of self-deprecating deprivation, I wanted what others had, hated anyone who had more space, time, money, education, a better career. To this day I tell all young artists to make an enemy of envy or else it will eat you alive. Like it did me.

Kate Imbach takes a look at the photos on Melania Trump’s social feeds to figure her out. This is what she finds:

Everyone has an eye, whether or not we see ourselves as photographers. What we choose to photograph and how we frame subjects always reveals a little about how we perceive the world. For someone like Melania, media-trained, controlled and cloistered, her collection of Twitter photography provides an otherwise unavailable view into the reality of her existence. Nowhere else — certainly not in interviews or public appearances — is her guard so far down.

What is that reality? She is Rapunzel with no prince and no hair, locked in a tower of her own volition, and delighted with the predictability and repetition of her own captivity.

Why not move to the White House? Let’s see.

Frieze magazine asked roughly 50 people around the world, “How Important is Art as a Form of Protest?” Some responded with art (some work better than others), but many responded with words, including Jimmie Durham, who said:

Where there is injustice, it is necessary that we protest. But, seeing that making art is neither a job nor a profession, protesting injustice by using art is really difficult. For me, no more difficult than trying to make art for decorating a room. What do we want in life, individually? It would be good for me if everything I do is on the side of liberation. An interesting and full way to live.

Kyle Chayka explores how drones are changing the way we see the world. He observes:

Amateur drone photography has already developed a distinctive set of subjects. The book is organized into sections such as “Urban,” with photos of city landmarks and street layouts; “Fauna,” with Planet Earth–style shots of animals; and “Probe,” which documents environmental threats like pollution and wildfires. The themes are decidedly unsubtle: The photographers are preoccupied with capturing a novel view of a familiar scene, or playing tricks with the camera’s height rather than using it to push the boundaries of symbolism or the format of the photo. Superficial content dominates form. Given the camera’s distance, the results also tend to be visually static, and even alienating to viewers.

… If drone photography often feels glib, it may be because pictures taken from the air don’t fit easily into clear, human-scale narratives. In fact, the looming presence of the machines threatens the order of life on the ground. In 2013, the novelist and photographer Teju Cole published a series of tweets composing “seven short stories about drones.” Cole inserted the machines into the beginnings of novels by Melville, Kafka, and Chinua Achebe, giving familiar stories abrupt endings, echoing the innocent lives that drones cut off in the real world: “Call me Ishmael. I was a young man of military age. I was immolated at my wedding. My parents are inconsolable.”

The world-renowned architect I.M. Pei at 100:

Given Pei’s penchant for elegant solidity, it’s ironic that the project that nearly sank the firm was the Hancock Tower in Boston, a glass edifice so ethereal that clouds seem to glide right through it. Construction of the tower damaged nearby Trinity Church. Then the curtain wall began to crack, and for a while workers patched the broken windows with plywood panels, making the façade look diseased. Finally, an engineer discovered that a strong wind might knock the structure over, and it had to be reinforced with 1,650 extra tons of steel. Pei’s partner Henry Cobb had designed the building, and the tower opened in 1976 to become a Boston landmark, but notoriety clung to the firm.

A short description of cultural appropriation for non-believers by Rajeev Balasubramanyam:

1. Your new friends Bob and Rita come to lunch and you serve them idlis, like your grandmother used to make.

2. They love your south Indian cooking and ask for the recipe.

3. You never hear from Rita and Bob again.

4. You read in the Style section of the Guardian about Rita and Bob’s new Idli bar in Covent Garden… called ‘Idli.’

…

Ijeoma Oluo interviews Rachel Dolezal — the white woman who identifies as Black — about race, and the encounter is a must-read:

I ask her some easy questions, but she answers them with increasing irritation. When we have been together for three hours, I feel it’s time to ask The Question.

It’s the same question that other black interviewers have asked her. A question she seems to deeply dislike—so much so that she complains about the question in her book. But even in the book, it’s not a question she actually answers: How is her racial fluidity anything more than a function of her privilege as a white person?

If Dolezal’s identity only helps other people born white become black while still shielding them from the majority of the oppression of visible blackness, and does nothing to help those born black become white—how is this not just more white privilege?

One Instagram account (@idontgiveaseat) documents the textiles on metros and subways around the world.

A thread by Rukmini Callimachi on what happens when a neighborhood is liberated from ISIS forces:

1. All over liberated areas of Mosul, 1 of the 1st things people are doing is painting over ISIS graffiti. Some are being artistic about it: http://pic.twitter.com/Rkmj9rZf4Z

— Rukmini Callimachi (@rcallimachi) April 15, 2017

The police in Iowa really took 420 seriously:

You've heard of speed traps? We have weed traps http://pic.twitter.com/TP7ir4qg1h

— IowaStateU Police (@ISUPD) April 20, 2017

Required Reading is published every Sunday morning ET, and is comprised of a short list of art-related links to long-form articles, videos, blog posts, or photo essays worth a second look.

The post Required Reading appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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