#'I've never been anywhere cold as you/'i know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it'

[finnickodaiir]

Cold as You is the teen version of Tolerate It

[waylyngdraws]

my cunty culty monsterhearts oc

i, waylyng, have never played monsterhearts.

if you don't know what that is, i refer to the ttrpg based on all those supernatural teen romance novels; think stephene meyer, cassandra clare, all that jazz. it's a gloomy morning in the village, and you are a sexy vampire.

i made this character, however, because i wanted to be in my friend's campaign, and we each had to make an 'audition' character to see who'd take the last spot. didn't get it, but they're making a oneshot soon, so to celebrate, i'm showing you my character !

this is cassius (he/him). he's the monsterhearts skin 'queen', which, for the monsterhearts virgins among us, is like a regina george-style clique leader, whose power relies on keeping lots of loyal followers.

so, naturally, i decided by blorbo would be a cult leader.

he's been sent out from the "hub" where he grew up to tell people about the true happiness. do the popular kids not understand you? do you not understand when people talk about romance? do you feel like you belong in a skirt rather than trousers? well, you'll fit right in with Us. We will show you a True Community, and you too will feel the Love of the Thunderer.

(i chose the thunderer as the cult name of the god as a cheeky greek myth reference; bromios, the cult name for dionysus, translates as "the thunderer". i tried to find out what the cult name was for aphrodite, which is more appropriate, but like,,, they didn't slap as hard. looking back tho maybe should have chosen hestia though, for all the stuff about the hearth relating to community, and spooky death connotations. oh well. tangent over)

illustration ! religious ecstasy !

(looking back i'm not happy with the rim lighting, a bit flat lmao (like me—) and the shirt looks a bit strange. i will stop now)

here's a vignette i did as a "taster" for the character!

Who is Cassius? Don't you know?

When I say he's magnetic, don't think I just mean hypnotic — he's an obelisk, a monolith of cold, harsh metal standing far above you. You throw iron filings in the air, they fly straight to his side; such an austere exterior, why do they keep coming? It's a question they might even ask themselves.

The bell's rung, students are flocking to the cafeteria. You hear him before you see him, the hush of the surrounding voices, the rise of the mumblings that constantly follow. Cassius strides past, covered in his clique. You see the kid with piercings who transferred last week — they mustn't have fit in anywhere else. How easily they fall in.

They look so together, his swarm; all wildly different in appearance, but moving with a single mind. Like a flock of birds, they flow around him, so in tune with each other you'd call them a polycule if you didn't know better.

Through the people, you catch a glance: a wave of soft brown hair, punctuated by a shock of white. The school has no uniform, but he always wears a blazer. His nails, almost claws, a new look every week — today, they're black, dripping with molten gold. And of course, he's wearing that ever-present half-smile. You feel almost as if you could talk to him…but there's a chasm between you larger than words. You can't think what his life must be like. But still, to talk to him…how can you not try? And, trying, how could you not fall? i hope you enjoy my blorbo !! for my morally gray characters, i like taking a concept i really believe in, like community, and pushing it that extra bit too far. i hope i've accomplished that with cassius. he wants to keep you safe, he thinks he's doing the right thing, he thinks he's saving you. but. you can only be saved his way. enjoy !!

[stuckybarton]

Day xxvi: Sex Pollen

Summary: Your usual hunt alongside Loki and his men did not go as planned. Words: 2,248 Warning: Smut. Dubious Consent (Sex Pollen influenced) Vaginal Intercourse. Sex Pollen Symptoms (?) Characters: Jotun! Loki Laufeyson x Fire Demon!Reader A/N: Not yet back, just posting the rest of the parts so I don't have anything more to deal with when I get back again.

Kinktober Masterlist || MASTERLIST || Taglist || Requests Are Open

"I don't think you are ready for the hunt."

The deadliest glare was given to Loki, but he tried to seem unaffected by his wife's gaze. It's been well over half a year now since you had given birth to your twins, and the half of that since you had made your feelings for each other known. It had also meant that as much as Loki trusted your capabilities of hunting alongside him and his men, there was this underlying worry that will never shake off him.

"I've fought alongside you during the battle with the Kraken, a simple retrieval of medicine for the healers should not be a problem." You snorted, turning you back towards your husband and continued on with preparing everything you would need for the hunt.

Loki wasn't worried about the actual retrieval, it would be easy and somewhat menial that you and he could have done it on your own. But there was always talks about the snow forest. Folklore often depicted the forest to consume any female they would eye. He worries more about you that he needed the number of men to join them for the task--knowing he couldn't change your mind.

"What about the twins?" He tried once more.

"My Love, the twins shall be under their caregivers' care for the time being. Besides, is it not just a day's trip if I remembered correctly." You assured and you were right, it wouldn't take the entire day, but then again, not knowing what lies deep inside the forest especially at the coldest time of the year, Gods know what they would be facing.

"There is really nothing I could say or do to stop you from coming?" He inquired.

"Nothing." You smirked turning to face him once again. Arms gently wrapped around his waist. "And if we finish the task early--we will celebrate any way you would want."

At the offer, the familiar warmth now settled deep in the pits of his stomach.

"Anything?" His own hands falling towards the swells of your ass. Pushing you further into him.

"Anything you want, My Love." You smirked pulling away and turning back to packing the needed weapons and materials for your travel.

Loki could only hope nothing bad happens for their own safety, and more so now with the promise of what was to come after.

~

In the freezing cold, most of Loki and his warriors wore a thick coat to protect themselves from the bitter winds. You remained in your usual clothing, a thin tunic and slacks. The cold could do nothing to your body and standing in the middle of the group, you radiated as much warmth as your body could let off, one of the few perks of being a Fire Demon in Jotunheim.

"There." Loki had spoke, pointing at the sudden forest that came to view. It was odd, for you, to see a vast and almost healthy forest in the heart of the cold environment of Jotunheim. It almost looked the same as the ones in Midgard when you and your husband had visited Jane Foster's realm.

"Watch your steps, My Queen." Loki's gentle words brought your attention away from the forest and towards the warrior protecting you and your husband. Cold hand holding onto your upper arms as you had ventured deeper into the forest.

Behind the white curtains of snow was an evergreen of trees. The somewhat green hue radiated throughout.

"It's beautiful." You found yourself whispering.

Aside from the usual hunts for meat, this was by far the first time you had been in anywhere outside of the castle in a long time since your pregnancy. Loki had never really had you anywhere near this forest, for reasons that still you were not aware of.

"When the children are a year old, I will bring you up north to several tribes, they had forests as beautiful as this." Loki had pointed out as you had continued on your walk inside.

A smile rested on your lips at the suggestion.

"I will certainly enjoy that, My Love." You beamed, holding on to his hand as you continued on your cautious step inside the forest. Eyes somehow constantly falling on the various plants and flowers surrounding the supposedly snowy barren lands.

You had watch the warriors begin to spread apart, collecting the needed plants and herbs the healers would be needing. You and Loki were left to roam further around, he tried his best to be as close as he possibly could without suffocation you with his presence--which was impossible if you were being honest.

"I'm genuinely surprise you would want to join such a dull task." Loki had pointed out eyes roaming the forest. "You do have a preference for battling to the death with the fiercest monsters of the realm."

"When you had known nothing but bloodshed and war in your realm, such simple act of peace and prosperity in a forest could be so much for even someone of my ranking." You spoke honestly.

During the earlier days of your marriage to Loki, one of the many reasons you had refused such a fate was the lack of war that came in the realm. There was order in the tribal realm of Jotunheim, something was a sheer contrast to the constant war and chaos your own kind was capable of instigating.

"I will take note of that when those Dark Elves make another attempt over my realm." He joked making you roll your eyes knowing war with the Dark Elves and Malekith had been long done, it had caused so much death, including Loki's parents and practically a quarter of the entire realm.

"That is not something to joke about, Loki." You scold moving farther away from your husband, your height becoming a momentary advantage as you sneaked your way deeper into the tighter parts of the forest.

Ignoring your husband's words, you continued down a particular path, your had made sure not to touch anything in fear of burning everything with your touch. It was after all, a curse that comes with being a fire demon. You destroy everything you create. A fear you never thought would come haunting you as you created a family for yourself in the form of your husband and your children.

Loki's voice slowly faded to the back of your mind at a flower that just looked out of place in the whole forest.

A single pink flower that looked far too out of place in the desolated area of the forest. There was an almost pulsing glow coming from the flower. A part of you knew that it could be a dangerous plant for all you know, but another part of you, a curious part of you that had never seen something so beautiful. Approaching closer to the said flower, your world slowly disappeared before you and attention now fully on plucking the flower.

"My Queen, no!"

Just like that, as you held the pink flower, bright violet pores escaped and you had the misfortune of breathing in. Letting go of the flower, you vision begins to blur, eyes turned to the owner of the voice, Loki and the rest of his warriors were now coming towards you. But darkness had finally consumed you before any of them could come and save you.

~

He knew he was right, he knew that bringing his wife to the forest would end with this. End with you getting hurt and knowing close to nothing when it comes to tending to you. The healers, fortunately do, having began their studies of a fire demon's anatomy since your arrival and they had known how to treat you at cases like this. He had only wished never for them to have to actually make use of their learnings.

His wife was still sleeping on their shared bed. But he knew something was wrong when he held onto your hand and letting go just as quickly. You were freezing up.

"The Queen has been exposed to a breeder pollen." One of the healers had explained, replacing Loki's hand and held onto your own.

He had known about the flower. It was well known throughout Jotunheim, but never has it been seen in the eons until now. Until his wife had ignored his warning and went on your merry way exploring the forest.

"What can we do to help her?" Loki inquired, readings upon readings about said flower were different and what worried him more was the fact that you were a Fire Demon, feared that this flower could be dangerous for your body.

"All we need to do for now is wait for the pollen to pass from her body. Give or take the rest of the day."

"And if it does not?" He questioned, furious for the lack of concern in the healer's tone.

"Then the Queen would be needing your assistance as her husband."

Before the healers' words finally clicked, she had announced her leave, with Loki now standing dumbfounded for what was to happen for the rest of the day. He could only hope that you were not in pained as he feared you would be.

Hours of waiting for you to wake up had him grow tired and somewhat thankful that the pollen would pass peacefully. He found himself laying besides you, not fully asleep, but just enough to rest his weary body and his mind that was filled with nothing but ensuring you are safe and sound.

In his sleepless state, he heard your first moan and he was kick to sit up from your shared bed. You were awake--barely as you continued to wrangle in your own skin. A cool toned hue has now painted your skin, fire no longer covering your skin.

"Y/N?"

"Cold," you stuttered, wrapping the blanket around your trembling body.

Brows furrowed realizing what was going on with you.

"I'm so cold." Your voice trembled as you spoke those words.

Loki did not hesitate as he pulled you into his embrace, hoping that what little warmth he did have in his own body would be enough for you.

"What do you want me to do?" His voice was practically pleading for you, to be able to save you from whatever was happening. And with just a single touch of your hand around the base of his clothed cock, he knew perfectly well what you needed from him.

~

"Harder!" You moaned, on your stomach, everything was slowly bringing you back the warmth you had lost since inhaling that dangerous pollen. But Loki was doing everything in his power and his capabilities to fuck you back into normal.

The numbing cold in your stomach slowly but surely reaching relief that only your husband and King could give you. The irony of your husband, a frost giant was giving you the warmth you had somehow lacked all throughout as a Fire Demon.

Prone on your stomach, Loki continued on with his ministration. Cock slick with your wetness and his own cum. You had lost count of the times you had had your release or the number of times Loki had came inside of you.

It was one of the rare instances that you were thankful for the Jotun's healthy appetite and impressive stamina. It was appeasing the frigid cold inside of you. The warmth that spilled inside you as your release as well as your husband's spilled deep inside you. Mind finally at peace and the cold slowly fading away. Craning your head towards your arms, relief slowly creeping inside of you as the gentle fire was now slowly painting your skin once again.

"Y/N?"

You could only moan as a response to your husband's call. The emptiness of him finally pulling out earned a groan from the two of you. With what little strength you had, your turned onto your back to see the aftermath of your disastrous hunt with your husband.

"You are forbidden from going on hunts for a while."

You nodded, no longer having the strength to argue with him at this point. Limp were your bones but your husband look like he could still go for another round from his stance and how erect he still was.

"As long as you stay in bed with me all throughout, My King." You purred gaining the little glint in your eyes just to tease your husband.

"If we continue on with this, I'm certain Enya and Aster would have a sibling by the next moon." He warned, but the smirk that rested on his only meant he wasn't so opposed to the idea as he would say he was.

"A little girl, just so we can outnumber you and Aster?" You teased gently spreading your legs, the cold sensation of Loki's cum dribbling in between your legs sent a shiver down your spine.

"Do not threaten me with a good time." He growled diving right back into you.

Ironically, what neither of your had expected was you had continued joining hunts alongside the rest of his warriors or the fact that Loki was right to expect another child because of the incident. You were right in your guess of the gender, but as well as wrong in your guess of just a girl. Another twins was in your horizon and only meant another series of chaos for the King and Queen of Jotunheim and the rest of the realm.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Just Fine, After All

Lee Know x reader; just Minho being a complete idiot

A/N It's Minho this time, since my man did the "Step Out" on Music Bank lmao. As always, I hope you like it!

He wasn't there. It was your graduation ceremony, and your boyfriend Minho had promised you that he'd be there, but of course, he wasn't. You couldn't blame him though, because you knew how hard he had been practicing for the comeback. And while you didn't want to pressure him to make time for you, you couldn't lie to yourself and say that it didn't hurt a little.

After the ceremony, you went back home, only to find that he wasn't back from practice yet. You decided to pay him a visit at the JYP building, knowing that he would most likely have not taken a break, even to eat. You cooked his favourite ramen and fried chicken, and went over to the company. By the time you reached there, you saw Changbin and Jisung leaving. When they noticed you, you guys exchanged hugs, with Jisung, who was also one of your closest friends, ruffling your hair and saying, "How'd the ceremony go? I'm sorry we couldn't be there, and I'm even more sorry that even Minho hyung couldn't make it. He's been practicing non-stop, and he still doesn't plan on leaving." "You're the only one who can get him to take a break, so we'll let you go ahead," smiled Changbin. You bid them bye, and started on your way to Stray Kids' practice room.

Opening the door, you see Minho practicing their title song. He didn't notice you, and you knew that he wouldn't do so until you cut the music off. So that's exactly what you did, by tiptoeing to the music system and switching it off. "Minho, come on. Take a break and eat something. I got your favourite food along," you said with a smile. At this, Minho abruptly turned towards you, but his expression wasn't one of surprise or happiness at seeing you there. Instead, he seemed pissed, and scary. "Minho-," you started, but he cut you off. "Did I ask you to come here? Did I ask you to bring me food? Did I say I need a break? Seriously Y/N stop being so nagging. If you don't have anything productive to do with your life, at least let me be productive with mine. Go write your stupid little thesis, instead of annoying me," He said, turning his back to you. It was only then that you realized that tears were already running down your face. "Well, if graduating from university counts as productive in your dictionary, then I guess I've done my share of productive today. Thanks for ruining my happiness, jerk."

With that, you placed the food near the door, and walked out. Minho rolled his eyes and started the music again. But after a while, he realized that he was not able to focus. He felt guilty for lashing out at you. It wasn't your fault that he was not able to perfect a particular step in the choreography. On the contrary, he had been the one at fault for not turning up at what was supposed to be one of the most important moments of your life. You must've been upset, but you still set it all aside and brought him food.

Deciding that he couldn't go on practicing any longer, and that he needed to be home and apologize to you, he left the company. On his way home, he noticed how bad the weather had become. Worry for you set in his heart, and he tried calling you, but you didn't pick up. "I hope Y/N is safe. Great job Minho, you made them walk back home in such bad weather."

As soon as he reached home, his heart sank, because the door was still locked. Entering inside, he quickly came to the conclusion that you weren't there, seeing as how all the lights were turned off. "Where could they be? Did they perhaps go to the dorm?" With that, he called Hyunjin up to ask him if you were there, to which, the younger boy replied, "Why would they be here? What did you do?" Jisung heard this, and snatched the phone away from his hands. "Where is Y/N, hyung? What did you do? Tell me they aren't in trouble." Minho told him what had happened, causing Jisung to say, "You screwed up big time, hyung. You should have apologized to them, and instead, you made them feel annoying and useless. And now, because of you, god knows where they are. I swear if something happens to them, I'll kill you."

"Nothing will happen to them Jisung, I promise. I know I messed up, but I'm gonna make things right." With that, Minho hung up, and grabbed his car keys again. He went to Han River, because he knew you liked going there when you needed some space. "I hope they're not out in the open. God, what have I done." Once he reached there, he quickly noticed you weren't there either, meaning he had to continue his search. The next stop was your favourite 24/7 coffee shop, but that too, turned out to be a dead end. Minho was close to losing his mind worrying about you, when suddenly, his mind cleared and he understood where he had to go.

Ten minutes later, he was back at the JYP building, and was running towards the rooftop at full speed. That was the place you had confessed to him, and the both of you held that spot very dear. Why hadn't he thought of that before? If you were upset with him, wouldn't you go to just the place where he had told you he loved you, seeking some reassurance? But when he reached there, and didn't see you anywhere, he started pulling at his hair, as tears threatened to spill. He was already crying, when he suddenly heard the voice he'd been searching for, for hours.

"Minho? What are you doing here in this weather? You'll catch a cold," you said softly. He turned around just the way he had earlier that day, and once again, his expression surprised you. Tears streaming down his face, he pulled you into the tightest hug ever, while peppering your face with soft kisses.

"Where were you baby? I was worried sick," he sobbed. "I was such a jerk to you today, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for hurting you like. You did nothing wrong except for caring too much for an idiot like me, and what did I do in return? Make you feel worthless and leave you alone in this weather. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you, but believe me, I really am sorry. Sorry for not being there for you on a special occasion. Sorry for making you feel unwanted. Sorry for being such a shitty boyfriend. I'm sorry for everything, and I swear, I don't know what I would have done had something happened to you."

You break away from the hug, and say, "It's okay Minho. I forgive you. I know you're tense about the comeback, and I completely understand you not being able to show up. But..... just, please don't lash out at me like that again for no reason. That really hurt me, because I felt that you didn't want me around. You made me feel as if I was annoying to you." "I swear, I will never treat you like that again babe. I'm sorry," he says through tears, making you wipe his cheeks before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Let's just go home."

On your way back, Minho doesn't let go of your hand, making you smile to yourself. He suddenly asks, "I thought you'd be on the roof, but you weren't there. Where were you?" "I had gone up to the roof at first, because I just needed some reassurance that you hadn't meant what you said," you give him a weak smile. "But when the weather got bad, I came down to the practice room since I didn't have anywhere else to go, hoping that you would have gone home by now. And you had apparently left, so I decided to wait the storm out here. I was just on my way out of the washroom after I had done cleaning my face of all the tears and ruined makeup, when I saw you running up to the roof. I knew you were searching for me, so I followed you......"

"I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble today baby, I'm so glad you're safe. I love you you," Minho said sadly.

"I love you too, Min," you squeezed his hand. "Now let's forget this ever happened, and go home and celebrate my graduation." "You read my mind Y/N, that's exactly what we're gonna do once we reach home," Minho gives you his signature smirk, making you shove his shoulder in false annoyance.

Seems like you two will be just fine, after all.

[mochiable]

— how you met nct dream.

anon request: hello! i don’t know if you take this type of request but i would love a scenario on how you meet nct dream ot7 if it’s possible, thank you!

warning: one swear word

wc: 1.5k

₊˚✧┆𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞

you had been watching that cute boy on the badminton court playing with his friends ever since you had started working in the gym and you couldn't help but become more and more interested in him with each passing day. the noises he made when he hit the shuttlecock, the whimpers that came from his pink fluffy lips when he missed the expected shot and the way he frowned and puckered his mouth when his partner missed were some of your favourite things about going to work. yet you had never been able to strike up a conversation. never until this day, when his friends decided to take a break and go watch the football match, while he preferred to stay and practice a bit more.

"you're good," you complimented him once you approached him and threw him a bottle of water, which he managed to catch on the fly. "thank you," he replied flashing you a shy smile, causing his cheekbones to bulge. "where did you learn all that?" you asked sitting down on the bench at the side of the court. he turned to look at you nervously, setting the bottle down once he had taken a sip. "my father... well... he taught me, i guess," he replied, averting his gaze to anywhere on the court except your eyes. "and what do you like best about it?" you questioned him, watching the feather he was playing with bounce on the ground. "ahhh, i... i like badminton, i mean... i like it a lot, like... the... the... the rackets are really nice," he replied trying to find the right words, looking even more tender than ever and causing a smile to form on your lips. but just then his friends arrived, so you stood up and approached him. "nice to meet you, mark," you bowed your head and he copied you, failing to hide the blush on his cheeks.

₊˚✧┆𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗨𝗡

you snorted once more when the card of the hotel you were staying at wouldn't open the door. you had just taken a dip in the pool and were starting to get cold from wearing only a t-shirt over your swimsuit. you had already used every curse word the dictionary had and still the door wouldn't open. until suddenly you heard a click and it did, so you hurriedly tried to enter. however, something a little softer than the door blocked your way, making you bump into it or, rather, into someone.

“can i help you with something?” the boy smiled kindly as two others a little taller than him appeared from behind. you frowned, looking at the number painted on the door and then looking at the number written on your card. it was then that you realised your mistake, “shit! sorry, sorry. i've got the wrong room,” you apologised, trying to hide your embarrassment and nervousness. “is your room next door?” he asked leaning the side of his body against the door frame, to which you nodded, “i hope to see you again then,” he spoke, as the other two boys who hadn't moved yet tried to hide their laughter. you smiled still a little self-consciously and turned around with the intention of getting out of there. “nice outfit, by the way.”

₊˚✧┆𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗢

you were taking the dog for a walk in the park as you usually did, but this day was a bit different. you let the dog loose, trusting him completely, although you regretted it after a second when you saw how he ran away from you, starting to chase a boy riding his bike. you ran after him, calling his name and wishing you were born with more stamina, because your lungs weren’t strong enough for that. the boy slowed down when he noticed the animal running after him, who didn't think twice before jumping on top of him and knocking him off his bike, licking his face while getting petted. when you managed to get to where they were, you apologised repeatedly, getting several "don't worry" from the boy, smiling with amusement at your furry friend.

“i hope your dog doesn't attack me again,” he laughed softly, hopping on his bike and riding off, reassuring you that there would definitely be a next time.

₊˚✧┆𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡

in the summer you worked in a flower shop, you didn't get paid much but it was enough to pay for your studies. that day, your boss sent you to the most famous dance company in your city to deliver a bouquet with yellow sunflowers, something strange you had to admit.

leaving the lift you bumped into a handsome guy who apologized for not having noticed and almost destroying those beautiful flowers. as an apology he offered to guide you to your destination and you, a bit shy, accepted shyly. you could notice the look of confusion when you pointed out where you should deliver the sunflowers and, when you entered the room, he didn't hesitate to speak.

“so the flowers are for me, you’re the one sending them?” he approached them to smell their soft, fresh scent and then looked at you with a twinkle in his eye. you shook your head slightly, watching an amused pout form on his handsome face, “how bad, i would’ve wished to receive such a gift from someone so pretty.”

₊˚✧┆𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡

Songpa Naru Park was perhaps your favourite place to spend the afternoon when you didn't have too much to do. coming here, watching the almond blossoms swaying in the wind, listening to the swallows singing and watching families having a good time were your favourite images. you couldn't miss the photographs, you were nobody without your camera and your snapshots.

at that moment, watching the black and white ducks arguing over which part of the lake belonged to each of them, you felt a flash in your right profile, which made you startle and your camera, which was in your lap, rush to the ground. however, a big hand prevented that horrible disaster.

“forgive me,” the stranger apologised, “i didn't mean to,” he showed you his perfect white teeth as he returned the camera to your lap. “did you take a picture of me?” you asked looking in his direction, remembering that bright light. he looked at you with regret and put his hand to the back of his neck, scratching it nervously, “sorry about that too.” you gave him a tight-lipped smile and lifted your shoulders, “don't worry, it's all right,” you replied turning your gaze back to the lake, “it’s beautiful, isn't it?” you asked, watching him out of the corner of your eye. “yes, very pretty,” he replied, looking at your picture on his camera, which brought another smile to your face, a bigger one this time.

₊˚✧┆𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗘

you were definitely lost. maybe if you hadn't listened to your brother, you would now be at the restaurant where your parents were waiting for you. but obviously, he didn't want to use the gps as he had "memorised the way". and this is when he forced you to roll down the car window and ask some stranger for help.

“excuse me, could you tell me where Las Torres restaurant is?” you asked a handsome guy, wearing a loose summer brown shirt. he smiled at you and asked for your phone so he could write it down for you, which you readily agreed to. “here you go. i’ve drawn you the official route, but also a small detour that will get you there faster,” he explained, handing you back the phone through the window. after thanking him and saying goodbye, he gave you a smile with a wink, which caused a slight blush to appear on your cheeks. you soon learned the reason for this gesture. he hadn't asked for your mobile phone just to guide you, but to write down his number as well.

₊˚✧┆𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚

you were having dinner with a friend at one of your favourite restaurants, celebrating the end of the school year and another year of your friendship. however, you weren't paying full attention to your friend, as you were busier watching the boy who hadn't stopped looking at you all night and who, when you looked back at him, looked away, blushing slightly. halfway through dinner you could notice his friend saying something in his ear, looking in your direction, and how the boy's eyes widened while he began to shake his head. but suddenly, the other boy stood up and, ignoring his friend's prayers, approached you with a mischievous smile on his face.

“good evening,” he greeted, interrupting your conversation and resting his hands on the table, “you've caught my friend's eye, but he's too shy and cowardly to come and ask for your number himself, so i’m here to make his dreams come true,” he addressed you with confidence and amusement, pointing to the sweet boy who was now covering his face with the tablecloth. you finally decided to write down your number on the napkin and your heart skipped a beat as the boy smiled shyly at you after receiving the piece of paper with your number written on it.

©️  MOCHIABLE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

requests are open!

main masterlist | nct masterlist

a/n: this is my very first multiple scenario and i have to admit i’m very nervous about it. i’d really appreciate it if you could provide me with some feedback and tell what do you think of it! hope you liked it, love you<3

[majestyeverlasting]

NOTE I’m no longer taking requests from this list.

Swing by and leave a Bucky Barnes request using the list below. Please don’t be shy! This is my first time doing this, and I promise I don’t bite! :')

♡ This is in celebration of my One Month Tumblr Anniversary, which is was officially on August 25, 2021. I'm beyond grateful for all the support I've received over these past few weeks, and hope this will be a way for me to engage with you all even more (and receive my first ever set of requests, of course).

♡ Rules/Notes:

Choose up to 2 prompts

You can specify which version of Bucky you want. Ex: Dad, best friend, fatws, jock, etc. As long as it's not something extreme like OuterSpaceAstronaut!Bucky (which would be interesting, however).

The request should end up looking something like this, loosely: "Can you write prompt(s) ___ with Dad!Bucky x reader pls?" And, you can also include a little summary that includes details of what you want. If you don't, I'll surprise you with my own storyline. *No smut*

Dialogue Prompts:

"Look at your arms... I gave you goosebumps."

"Close your eyes, I promise you're gonna like it."

"I told you the stars were gonna be out tonight."

"Remember we used to come here when we were kids?"

"No, keep dancing. Please?"

"You make me so happy. You have no idea."

"I love you."

"I found this on your nightstand... I didn't know you journaled."

"Hey! Are you taking a picture of me? You said you wouldn't."

"It's hard to concentrate when you're kissing my neck like that."

"Can I have one more hug before you go?"

"Your hands are cold—don't slip them up my shirt!"

"Pinky swear?"

"There's icing on your lip... c'mere, let me kiss it off."

"If you blink, you have to give me some of your food."

"You're not good at pretending to be asleep."

"Oh, so you are ticklish."

"You're such a goofball."

"Can you reach that for me?"

"You make me nervous in the best way."

"When you look at me like that it makes it harder to be upset."

"I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard."

"Can I spend the night?"

"Lay here with me a moment longer."

"Just keep talking. I like the sound of your voice."

"I'm not reading this thing wrong, am I? You're really pregnant?"

"What do you want for breakfast, grumpy?"

"You've got to stop sneaking up on me like that."

"Truth or dare? ...Please don't say dare."

"How many of my hoodies have you snatched up at this point, hmm?"

"Shh, I can hear your heartbeat."

"Of course you followed me out here... You're not so great at following my instructions."

"I've been waiting to kiss you all day."

"Yes, I forgive you. I'll always forgive you."

"Can I have a piggyback ride? You give the best piggyback rides."

"You're the closest thing to magic I've got."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"You always smell good."

"Hey, wait a minute. What's up with these tears? Talk to me."

"There it is. There's that smile."

"After all these years, I don't think I know what your favorite color is."

"I would give you all the beautiful things this life has to offer if I could."

"Let me help you."

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

"Open the door. I know you have my phone."

"Stop making me laugh, I'm supposed to be angry with you."

"Please let me take care of you, you're bleeding."

"Those are my pajama pants. They're literally slipping down your waist."

"I've never noticed these freckles on your back."

"You're my reason."

-

Thanks! I look forward to seeing where this goes!

[unstoppableforcce]

what kind of day has it been

—PROLOGUE: in the shadow of two gunmen

pairing: Poe Dameron x f! CMO! reader

masterlist | how wonderful | next part

a/n: this is just 1.5k, just a little prologue bc an 8k first part seemed like a lot. this is my west wing piece taking place within the how wonderful universe, i know it's been a while since i've written anything how wonderful or really for Poe at all but i'm so excited for this !!

you can read the rest of the how wonderful universe on my masterlist but it's not necessary for this fic beyond understanding the reader is the chief medical officer and that things tend to get a bit brutal for these two

There is no warning.

No red flashing light blinking on the dash. No proximity alert blaring in his ears. No echoing alarm shuddering through his chest. Nothing.

When things go wrong on the ground, they just do. There is no warning.

One minute, the roar of the crowd is all he can hear. The next minute, he can feel the screams surrounding him, vibrating in his chest as the sharp slice of the first blaster shot rings in his ears. One minute, he’s watching you up ahead, your smile stretching your lips as Leia holds you close to her side, basking in the vibrant afterglow of a recruitment speech gone well. The next minute, his eyes are peeled, scanning every face cowering in cover, every set of shoulders running away from the chaos, unable to find your figure anywhere amongst the panic.

Scorching shots of red blaster fire rained down around the plaza and screams quickly became all he could hear as bodies hit the ground. Body after body after body…

The General’s security had the shooters down in seconds, practiced precision making them some of the quickest shots in the whole of the resistance, but it wasn’t fast enough. None of it was fast enough.

“We need help over here.”

One minute, there’s a warmth blossoming in his chest as the welcoming cheers seem never ending. The General had always been a commanding speaker, but this speech was like no other, the crowd was buzzing with a passionate heat and the energy was unlike anything he had felt before as they moved through the thick of it, back to the ships. The next minute, all he could feel was cold. A taunting shiver ran down his spine as he spun around the empty plaza that remained, too many bodies lying dead on the ground where there used to be overflowing life. A frigid breeze swept across the plaza, hitting his vulnerable form as he pulled himself from cover.

One minute. Then the next.

The frantic voice repeated, “We need some help over here.” It took far too long to recognize the voice. With fear lacing every word and shaking the timbre of the tone, even the voice he knew the best was foreign.

One minute.

Leia had grabbed you by the arm as an excuse to help her stand and kept you close as the two of you moved through the crowd together. As appreciation and celebration poured in, she wanted you to be standing in the middle of it, she wanted you to get your fair share. Her careful touch lifted your chin as you tried to hide your bashful smile in her shoulder, you were the reason the Resistance had made it this far and she wanted the galaxy to see what she saw.

The next minute.

Her voice called again, a desperate plea for help that seemed impossible falling from her lips. The General didn’t beg, she didn’t plead. She was a fighter and there wasn’t a single thing in the galaxy she feared.

But again she called, sickening fear dripping from her tongue. “Help! We need help over here!”

One minute. He could see you through the crowd, just a bit ahead of where he walked with his rambunctious bunch of pilots. The next minute. He could see your feet, just the bottoms of your boots, the frantic crowd hovering over where you laid too dense to see through.

He fought for every step, his legs losing any strength the sudden adrenaline burst had provided him. Someone tried to grab his shoulders, maybe to steady him, maybe to hold him back, it didn’t make much of a difference, he blew past them without second thought. He only had one thought.

“Babe, what— what— are you—”

“Dameron—”

“Get your hands off— baby, talk to me—“

“Commander Dameron—”

Through the bend in one arm and over the shoulder of another, he saw blood. Snap tried to grab him this time, but there was no stopping him. Another step forward and he could see it all, the brutal wound left in your shoulder, the violent burn across your thigh, the blood on your face, the useless hands all over you making no difference at all. It was bad. Not just because it was you, it was just bad. Your brutalized body was torn to shreds where the shots hit you and every other inch of you was drenched in blood.

“Medic!” one of them called back over their shoulder with his hands pressed into your shoulder, everyone else knew better than to waste their breath.

You were the only medic they brought. You were the only doctor they ever needed.

“Dameron, you can’t—“

Either the strength was back in his legs or he just couldn’t feel the surging exhaustion anymore, he blew past any attempts to hold him back and fought his way to your side, reaching a careful, trembling hand to your cheek as your eyes fluttered in and out of painful consciousness. The words escaping his mouth didn’t even feel like his, he didn’t know where he found the breath, it was just all he could do. “We have to move her.”

“Poe—”

“Back to the ships, we have to get her back to base.”

No one wanted to answer. No one wanted to watch.

“There’s a— a base, a New Republic base on Bothawui.” He watched your mouth open but no sound came out, a scream too muted to even make it to your throat. “That’s not far, we can make it.”

No one wanted to tell him otherwise, despite what each of them seemed to know, what Poe refused to accept.

“You heard the Commander,” Leia’s voice was even weaker now as an obvious set of tears began dropping down her cheeks. “She’s a fighter. We have to move her.”

No one could argue with her.

One minute. He was watching you smile. The next. He was watching Snap carry your lifeless form in his arms as the group of distraught soldiers and pilots alike rushed back to the parked ships up ahead. The next. He was cradling your head as the soldiers did what they could to patch you up for the trip. The next. He was wiping the blood off your cheek as your sunken eyes watched him, your blood-spattered lips forming weakly around words that you lacked the strength to voice.

“I’m right here, Baby, I’m right here.”

“P-P-P-Poe...”

“It’s okay, don’t try to talk.”

“The Gen… you… she… we have to…”

The first of his tears began to drip from his nose and chin, hitting gentle against your forehead as your chest choked around your words. There was so much blood, so much pain. “Shhh, it’s okay, Baby. It’s okay, I promise.”

“We have to…”

His brow furrowed as his thumb settled on the dip between your chin and bottom lip. “Baby, I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

“No…”

“It’s okay. Don’t try to talk.” His head shook, and seconds later, he felt the ship do the same. For being such a quick flight, it was the longest of his life. “We’re close, it’s gonna be okay, don’t worry.”

Anyone sitting around the two of you would argue otherwise. Anyone who could see you would say there was no med bay in the galaxy, much less a desolate New Republic base, that could put you back together in one piece, not even your own. But no one was capable of voicing that outlook, not as they watched Leia break down in tears in the seat beside them, knowing the blaster shots were meant for her, not as they watched Poe clutch onto your body, barely breathing.

One minute. He had you. The next minute…

Your lips formed around one last word as the ship came in for a landing. “Love…”

It was the last word you got out. The last word he heard from you before your eyes fell shut and Snap rushed back to grab you and get you past the pouring rain inside the somewhat derelict base.

Poe walked two steps to follow before his knees gave out, the downpour drowning him as he collapsed.

“Poe…” the hand in his curls should have been comforting, the voice too, but something else bubbled in his stomach, a sickness he had no chance of escaping. “Poe, come on, let’s get you out of this weather.”

His head dropped out of Leia’s grip as his sobbing grew uncontrollable.

“Poe…”

There was no comfort she could offer, no wisdom, no advice. There was an empty feeling, a space left vacant with you not beside the two of them, a hollow pain that not even the torrential downpour could wash away as Poe wailed, a heartbreaking scream shuddered out from his lips. There was nothing she could do but hold him and hope.

Hope.

He remembered Leia’s words. Hope is like the sun. She was half right.

You were his hope. You were his sun. And now there was rain. Dark, dreary, pouring rain.

The rain reminded him of home. It reminded him of you.

You hated the rain.

He met you in the rain. He met you in the rain...

SEVEN YEARS EARLIER...

[phoebehalliwell]

I've always wondered about paige meeting a witch/darklighter hybrid? Because she is big on nurture vs nature but how would she react to someone who half of their existence is deadly to half of her? But at the same time they are both half witch?

okay but like!!!!! literally Literally we meet a fucking darklighter season 1 whose sole purpose was to knock somebody up like light magic has all these rules to follow but who’s setting the rules for dark magic? the source? the source doesn’t care oh no there are more evil babies in the world aaaa ?? it was the same thing with hecate it was the same thing with the manticore hell it was probably the same thing with cole. evil loves having lil half-mortal babies it stands to reason that the idea of an extra power boost from having a kid with say a witch (or hell even a warlock or any other mix up of the two) would only be a plus. it stands to reason that the girls should have run into So Many splits like. Especially darklighters!! given that we were literally told there’s like darklighters who specifically exist to just knock other people up (which also. girl what. boo.) i mean honestly? honestly? i don’t even think we need a hybrid just straight up someone with a mortal mother and a darklighter father like that alec/daisy situation who was raised by his mom for the majority of his life until his father found him and took him (maybe killing mom who’s 2 say) and tried raising him as a darklighter. but it’s like. you know. he was raised for the most part as a human kid and yes he had some powers teleportation and then like. instant kill. but like. those aren’t well no teleportation is but instant kill is not a fun power especially if you’re just supposed to be a normal dude!

and then i’ve talked about this before (this is where i would link the post If I Could Find It i searched for. 30-40 min. i do not know where it is. aaaaaaaaa.) i don't think darklighters are born with any innate imperative to kill whitelighters or anything, the same with demon warlocks etc. i think it's all a cultural thing like killing the most witches makes you like. idk you know popular celebrity within ur faction. like uhh u drive a whole bunch of whitelighters to suicide ur fuckin steph curry of ur darklighter clan the man can't miss. So. if we have a guy let's name the guy let's pick a name that means darkness. kieran!! okay so lil kieran was raised by mom and knows very little of his powers, and you know mom knows even less she doesn't even know his father's name. But!! mom is a future whitelighter, she's just a bit wayward at the moment, so her whitelighter cloaked her so that she can raise her son in peace n safety. but oh no!! mom's dead. and the cloaking on kieran was only an extension of mom's cloaking so now he's out in the open n here comes dad. and you know we'll say kieran's a bit of a fucked up kid nobody's perfect so like. he's never really quite fit in anywhere and he's always been terrified of his powers but when his dad offers him a people like him who understand him who can better hone his powers (we'll say he's in highschool) he's like this is lit!! and i get a crossbow! and he's always kinda taught that whitelighters are the enemy they're these abominations souls reanimated by the elders as weapons, stacked w powers, they can never move on, and they just have to behave as pawns to the elders whims. bc like. this kid was raised human he really doesn't get hunting whitelighters for like sport so his dad tries to keep him a little bit sheltered from the true nature of it all thinking that once the kid is older, once he gets the taste in his mouth he'll come around. so kieran spends ages 17 to like 23-25 underground in the underworld learning about darklighters learning about the lineage he's from but there's like. like he's a smart kid. and he knows there's something they're not telling him. so when he hears talk of two of his peers going on a hunt, he kinda tails them just to see what's what, only to see them maim a witch to kill their whitelighter, and who should their whitelighter be if not kieran's dead mom. and they leave both the witch and the whitelighter for dead bc like. kieran's mom can't heal with the poison in her veins it’s a slow working poison so they'll both be cold as the grave in 24hrs. and kieran like runs up to his mom like a) you're alive?!? b) you're a whitelighter?!!?!! and c) you know like what the fuck. because that's his Mom. she couldn't have like. told him. left him a sign. and you know like heart to heart blah blah blah and the witch is over here kinda saying like hi?? darklighter? what the fuck? and kieran's like aaaa because he can't help all he can do is like kill and the witch is like doesn't matter bring me a map and a crystal and using kieran's mom's blood scrys for the nearest whitelighter like u should be able to sense them go bring them to us and maybe i won't vanquish you, a threat kieran has literally never received, and quite frankly the terminology makes him a little bit uncomfortable.

and you know where else should the crystal land if not south bay social services, and you know kieran really doesn't know what he's looking for he's never hunted whitelighter so he was never taught to sense them but evidently it's in his power so he gives it a shot but like no. what's he even looking for? he has no idea. so instead he just runs up to this raven haired woman about his age like fuck it do you have a phone. and paige is like ??? who do you need to call who are you here for what are you here for do i need to grab you any forms and kieran's like fuck it if you go to this address you'll find to people in mortal danger. they need help. and then like. bolts. and paige is like what the fuck!!

and you know blah blah blah they manage to save the witch but they can't save the mom bc they don't know what poisoned her and it kinda makes the papers Because It's Fuckin Weird especially because the mom already died?? this woman literally must have faked her own death five years ago only to die from an unknown poison in a san francisco apartment. and then you know blah blah blah within a month or two it's revealed paige is a charmed one! a witchlighter! and then comes the reveal of darklighters and their poisoned arrows and paige is like wait. i've seen this before. and describes you know the scene with the witch and the woman and leo's like. i should name the mom. soleil. leo's like that was soleil she was a whitelighter, and piper's like wait why were you there, and paige is like i don't know there was this guy who told me to go to that address to save them and then like ran away, and piper and phoebe are like that's fuckin weird. and he approached u specifically? and paige is like yeah he pushed his way across the office to get to my cubicle. and piper phoebe are looking at leo like what does this mean what does this mean, and leo's like idk. and meanwhile kieran's trying to break from the darklighter clan but he knows he can't get out unless he's cloaked. so he goes back to try to find the witch he saved to ask her to cloak him but she says she doesn't have that power and he's like okay well who does and she's like only a whitelighter does and he's like okay could u find me one and she's like r u fucking joking. you want me to get a whitelighter here just so u can kill? and kieran's like what no i'm not i want out that's why i'm here i don’t wanna be a darklighter anymore, and the witch is like that's not a choice you have it's in your blood now the only reason i'm letting you live rn is because evidently you’re soleil’s kid she was a good woman i trusted her but i don't know you. and i don't trust you. and if you orb in here again i swear to god i will vanquish you. just so we can get you know a solid dose of light magic not trusting kieran, not based on his actions (hell even in spite of his actions) but purely based on his lineage.

so blah blah blah kieran start spending more and more time above ground and just trying to subtly distance himself from the clan which his father can sense and quite frankly like yes is concerned but is more just like. pissy because he's making him look bad, especially the fact he's gone this long without a kill it's making him look weak. so his dad's like fuck it we're going hunting together and now it's like. obviously non optional. you're gonna kill a whitelighter or you'll you know get the boot lose the only people who could possibly understand you so you know it's kieran and dad above ground and he's teaching him to sense for whitelighters teaching him what the skill is and kieran's actually picking it up quite well and honestly. honestly? he might make this kill. he can't survive alone. he doesn't even know who he is. and his powers are calling him loud and clear to a whitelighter. meanwhile paige is out on a mission with like piper and leo and immediately drops everything breaks from the pack starts running because there's that guy!! and kieran realizes that the call is coming from the raven haired girl. and that his dad is right behind her lining up the shot.

and so you know act now think later he grabs paige and they disappear into a cloud of black orbs and reemerge right behind his father and kieran calls his crossbow and shoots his father. in the shoulder. it's intentional. kieran has great aim. and he won't kill. and his dad's fuckin pissed and honestly about ready to kill the both of them when piper rounds the corner and blasts him to bits. and well. now kieran's definitely left with no family. so he says a quick apology to paige and orbs out. and piper and leo are like that one was a darklighter too!! and paige is like no no u don't get it. he just saved me. and they're like He What? why'd you follow him into this alley in the first place? and paige is like that's the guy! the guy the soleil & witch guy who told me to save them. and leo's like a darklighter working to save a witch and whitelighter? that's not right. paige i trust you i don't think you're lying but i don't think you know the whole story. he's a darklighter. they're evil. and paige is like then why did he save me? why did he save the other witch? why’d he try to save the whitelighter? and piper's like for all we know he's the one who shot her you saw his crossbow. and paige is like no this isn't right there's something we don't know here. blah blah blah they go to the original saved witch who informs them that while kieran is a darklighter he's soleil's son and paige is like !!! i knew it! he's an innocent we're meant to save him. and piper and leo are like respectfully, paige, no, that's way too dangerous. bonus round if piper's pregnant here pre- orb shield knowledge. and leo's like paige he can't help it it's nature it's just who he is. he can't be good. and paige is like why. why not. and leo's like he's half darklighter. and paige is like yeah and i'm half whitelighter. and piper's like fuckin yeah babe that's The Point he's a danger to us. and paige is like no the point is if it's all so predetermined if there's no fighting what we're born as they why was i awful. why was i a brutal cruel evil miserable child? you don't know me and you don't know the things i've done (pushing back the paige dead parent reveal for later) and it doesn't matter that i have literally angel blood i was terrible! there was nothing in my nature that held me back from that vicious side. i chose to grow. i chose to become the woman i am today and every morning i wake up and chose that it's not some predestined halo around my head it's me waking up every day and choosing to fight for the good in this and you know what i think he's part of it.

[shi-daisy]

Silver Lining

Hi everyone! So here's my entry for the mythology theme of Ulquihime week. This time out little otp will be put into the Dionyisus and Ariadne shoes. I know we all love em as Hades and Persephone but give that themes been done many times before, I wanted to try this one instead. Side note: I'm gonna dunk on Ichigo again. I do love him tho but since I needed someone to be Theseus for the myth and I'm still salty about the ending, poor berry boy is getting stuck with that (Sorry Ichi, you're still baby!) Hope you like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 5 Mythology

Silver Lining

Orihime had been staring at the sea for almost an hour now. The hem of her dress would soon be dry, but that wasn't much of a consolation.

She had been left stranded in the shores of Naxos during the night. As her husband Ichigo, had left without her. Upon realizing what had happened she rushed into the water to call out for him, but deep inside she knew it was a waste of effort. By now he must've been a thousand miles away.

Orihime began to cry again, what would become of her? There's was no way for her to escape the island, and with no food or shelter it was likely she would perish in two or three days. 'In the end, I'm certain no one will even remember me...'

Her sobs didn't let hear the sound of footsteps coming toward her. Orihime almost jumped as she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder.

"Careful, little dove. I'm not here to hurt you."

Orihime remained silent. The man who just appeared before her, had the look and speech of a god, but which one? She first assumed he was the Lord of the underworld, given that he had dark clothes and, sparkling green eyes, and pale skin, but that couldn't be right, as said God almost never left his domain. The scent of wine, was what gave her an answer.

"Are you, Ulquiorra?"

"You've guessed correctly, dear. God of festivities and ecstasy, at your service. Now tell me, what is it that a lovely lady like you is doing here?"

He offered her his hand, Orihime took it and stood up, trying to control her tears as she explained.

"I was abandoned here. My husband, he defeated the Minotaur of the labyrinth and we escaped together afterward. But he's left me here."

"Oh my, that's such a cruel fate. My deepest apologies, lady....um..."

"Orihime."

"That's a lovely name. Here," The god materialized a goblet of wine and gave it to her. "Maybe a drink would do you good."

She chuckled. "Thank you." The wine was cold and savoury, it did help her aching throat. All the crying had left her weak.

Ulquiorra looked at the lovely girl with curiosity. Why would a man abandon such a pretty wife? Not to mention smart. Ulquiorra noticed she had a golden thread of yarn tied to her wrist. 'That's probably how she navigated the labirynth.'

"Orihime, would you like for me to take you back to your beloved?"

She almost dropped the cup at his offer. She could go back, go back to her husband. 'But who in their right mind would want to go back to him'

"No. I'm not returning to a man who left me for dead."

"Then I can take you to Crete. Your parents must be worried sick."

She shook her head. "I can assure you they're not. After I destroyed my father's labirynth, he all but banished me. I don't have anywhere to go."

Ulquiorra placed his hands upon her face, wiping away her tears. "Don't weep, little dove, it's not befitting of you. There is another place where I can take you, somewhere you'll be very happy."

"Where?"

"My domain. Should you chose it, I can make you a goddess, I can make you my wife."

Her face went red. "M-me? But I am just a mortal woman, there's nothing I can offer you or your domain."

"That dosen't matter. To be honest with you, I am not as social as my cults seem to think. It's a little lonely being the one who of provides the drink and joy for a celebration yet have no one to share it with.

I've always wanted a wife, but never found a person I could be at ease with. You however seem to have a very calming presence, little dove. I'm inclined to think you're intelligent, since you helped destroy the labirynth, and also kind, in helping someone else at the cost of your familial ties. Not to mention you're quite beautiful as well.

If you become my wife I promise we'll be equals, you'll have a palace of your own. You'll be properly loved by me."

That last sentence made her shiver, Ulquiorra's voice as he said it was so sincere yet commanding. Orihime couldn't resist.

Standing on her tip toes, she gave the god a soft peck on the lips. "I accept. I'll be your wife."

Ulquiorra smiled. "Very well then, let's go home."

He took off his cape and wrapped Orihime in it. Then he picked her up bridal style.

Orihime blushed but still found the gesture very sweet. She clung to him tightly, slightly scared of the height difference, and that if she didn't her clumsiness would cause her to fall.

"Scared?"

"No. I couldn't be scared of you. I just don't want to fall."

"Don't worry. I won't let you."

He leaned in for a kiss. Orihime quickly reciprocated, a little embarrassed that her new husband would get her so flustered with one deep kiss.

"Don't get impatient dear. When we get home, I intend to give you more than just a kiss."

"I think I'd like that very much."

With one last look at the crystalline sea, she was whisked away by the god.

True to his word Ulquiorra gave her everything he had promised, making her a goddess in the process. As they stood before the other olympians during their wedding ceremony, she knew their names would now be interwined forever, and that she'd be remembered in centuries to come.

[babyioniive-blog]

fight for me

summary: Lydia and Calum have a history together. Calum is an illegal fighter and Lydia left to escape When Lydia comes back into town, unspoken feelings rise to the surface and new challenges arise. 

word count: 14.8k

a/n: i’ve worked on this bad boy longer than i’d like to admit. This was inspired by @cakesunflower her stories about fighter or boxing got me thinking and I came up with this. This is in no way trying to copy her work!!! I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. 

- 

“Olivia please don’t drag me with you” I begged as my sister dragged me to the underground arena. “You need to get out more Lydia.” Olivia exclaims to me. 

The last time I was in that arena was when I saw him get knocked out cold. Calum Hood is an illegal boxer and also, my ex-boyfriend. Olivia dragged me to one of his fights one time because her boyfriend, Ashton, trains and manages him. We met at the afterparty and just hit it off from there. We bonded over our taste in music and our shitty taste in beer. I stuck with him through everything. I was there when he got more involved in the ring. I knew the fighting was getting to be a lot for him and when I saw him almost die, I couldn't do it anymore. I knew how much he loved the feeling of it. I knew how he loved the exhilarating feeling of when he won a tough fight. It was the highest of highs for him. And he was pretty damn good too. I loved being there to support him but, after that day I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke it off with him and went to college. I couldn’t make him choose between me or boxing. That was selfish so, I chose for him, thinking I was doing the right thing. It wasn’t the right thing. I made the mistake. 

“Everyone there hates me. You don’t understand.” I say exasperatedly. “No they don’t Lyd.” Olivia says tiredly. “They may not but I know Calum does. I haven’t spoken to him in a year Liv. He doesn’t want me there.” “If there is one thing I know, he wants you there, always.” Olivia says to me. “Not after what I did.” I say and stop dead in my tracks. “I broke it off with him. I made the choice. I haven’t talked to him in so long. He hates me and it’s all my fault. I can’t show my face there. It’s not fair to him.” I finish. “You’re going. You need to see him. He’s good now Lyd. He’s better.” Olivia says trying her best to convince me to go willingly. “Ugh you’re not gonna take no for an answer.” “No I’m not so just make this easy.” Olivia says as I relent. 

We get there and all of the memories come rushing back to me. The smell of burnt hotdogs. The sound of loud people and loud music blasting. I recognize the regulars. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” I mutter. This reminds me of his highest of highs and lowest of lows. I see the ring and it all hits me. I think of the times when he came out with blood dripping everywhere or when I thought he wasn’t gonna come out alive. I think of the bruises on his calloused hands. I think of the times he sat on my counter as I cleaned up his gashes. The feeling was overwhelming. 

Olivia guides me to where Ashton and his other friends Luke and Michael are. “Well well well, look what the cat dragged in. It’s nice to see you again Lydia.” Luke says as he sees me and pulls me in for a hug. “How have you been?” Michael asks as he hugs me too. How have I been? I don’t even know the answer to that. “I’ve been okay. School has swallowed me up.” I say not making eye contact. “How are you?” I ask back. “I’m good. Busy here keeping things on track.” He says. I just nod. Olivia and Ashton are talking. Ashton turns to me and whispers to me, “I know this is hard for you. Thank you for coming.” I just nod and smile nervously. He had no clue. “Does he know I’m here?” I ask him. He shakes his head and my face falls. “Great.” “Hey don’t worry about it. I think he’ll be happy that you’re here.” He says trying to reassure me. “Ashton, you and I both know he won’t be happy.” I said to him. He just makes a sad face and changes the conversation. “Who is he fighting tonight?” I ask and nobody answers my question. “Hello?” I say again. “You wanna tell her?” Luke asks as he looks to my sister. “He’s fighting Damon Banks.” Damon Banks. I knew that name from anywhere. He was one of the toughest fighters. Calum always talked about how his goal was to beat him. Damon was dangerous. He’s left people in that ring close to dead. He can’t be fighting him. “I’m sorry. He’s fighting who?” I asked again. “Listen I know you’re confused but he’s grown so much. Since you left, he’s improved a lot. He can beat him.” Luke says to me. I just stay silent. Since I left he said. That hurt. 

It was almost fighting time so Ashton went over to Calum's corner to hype him up. He’s gonna need it for this one. “I think you should know something before you go on.” Ashton said to him. “What is it?” Calum asked. “Lydia's here.” Ashton said and his eyes widened. 

It looked like that bomb hit harder than any punch could. He looks over sees me. We made direct eye contact. Great. The announcer comes on and announces the fighters. The fight was about to begin. 

The fight was brutal. He was down, battered and bloody. He almost lost but he found the strength to get up. With that he beat Damon with one punch. 

He won.

 Calum won against Damon Banks. Once he stepped out of the ring, Ashton greeted him with a towel. The feeling Calum felt had to have been euphoric. “Congrats man! You deserved that win.” Ashton says to him and he just smiles at him. “My man!” Luke greets him as he pats his back. “That was amazing Cal. Im proud of you” Michael says to him. “How do you feel?” Olivia asks. I try my best to stay behind. “I feel” he pauses “amazing.” That’s the first I heard his voice in a year. His deep raspy voice brought me back. Olivia whispers to me “You gonna speak Lyd?” “No.” I say back. She gives me a knowing look. Calum turns to me and says, “Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.”

 I feel my breath hitch in my throat. “Hi Calum.” Is all I can think of saying. I mentally hit myself. “I’m gonna give you two a second.” Michael says and with that, they all go, leaving just me and Calum. I look at him and say “You dyed your hair blonde.” He chuckles “You cut yours.” He replied. “That tends to happen at 2am post mental breakdown.” I say back hoping the ground swallows me up. “Why are you here?” He asks. “Well, you want the honest truth or what I tell people so they don’t question me?” I ask. “Both.” “So I've told people I’m taking a gap year so I can catch up with family but the truth is, it’s so depressing at college. Everyone are assholes and it’s caused my anxiety to go crazy so I’m taking a break for my mental health.” I say honestly. “M sorry to hear that.” He replies. “I should be apologizing to you.” I say to him. He just shakes his head. “Tonight is too good of a night to be bothered with the past.” He replied. “I agree.” I turn to walk away and he goes to change and get ready. 

“Where are we celebrating?” Michael asks. “Party at my house?” Olivia asks and I glare at her. “Come on Lyd, ease up.” Olivia says. I just nod my head. This is so not how I wanted to spend my night.

At my house, it's me, the boys and a few other people from Calums gym. Olivia is drinking. I’m not really in the mood for all of this so I sit in the corner of the living room. I decided to go outside for some air. I just sit on the patio taking it all in. I watch the stars for a while. I don’t even realize it’s almost 1am. Soon i’m joined by someone. I turn around and see Calum and give him a small smile. He comes and sits down next to me and takes out a cigarette. We sit in silence. I’m the first to break the silence. 

“Those are gonna kill you one day.” I say to him. “Me and you both know that I have a better chance of dying inside that ring than by this.” He says as he looks at me. “That’s why you left isn’t it.” Calum says. Is it? Is that what he wants to hear? “I thought you didn’t want to talk about this tonight.” I reply. “Call me curious.” He mutters. “To answer your question, It was a part of it yes.” I paused “After seeing you almost die multiple times in that ring, I just couldn’t do it Calum.” I say looking at my feet. “You could’ve talked to me.” He said. “I didn’t want to make you chose. That’s selfish of me.” I say as he stays silent. “I regret it.” I finish. “Me too.” He says standing up. “You didn’t do anything.” I mutter to him. “I didn’t fight for you.” he pauses “and I fucking hate myself for it.” he said walking away but stops before he gets to the door. “and for the record, if you did make me choose, I would've chosen you.” He says leaving me speechless and with that he walks inside. 

I decided to go to bed and think about the night's events. The love Calum and I had was a once in a lifetime thing. We were each other's everything. I never stopped loving him, and I don’t think I ever will. 

                                                        ******

The next morning I woke to be greeted by 3 men in my kitchen. “Did anyone leave last night?” I question. “A few did. Calums in the bathroom.” I nod and go to the cereal. “How did that go last night? I saw you guys talking outside.” Luke ask. “It went okay. We kinda talked about it.” I said. “Please don’t hurt him again.” Luke replies. I stopped dead in my tracks. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I mean, that when you left Lydia, he was devastated. He was hurting bad. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces again” Luke responds. “Mate I think now isn’t a good ti-” Ashton starts but I interrupt. I’m not doing this right now. He has no clue what I went through. It wasn't an easy choice. “You think I wasn’t devastated? You think that I wasn’t hurting too?” I pause. “That choice was the hardest fucking choice I’ve ever had to make. It was stupid of me not to talk to him about it yes but I was hurting too. You have no clue what I went through either. Knowing it was my fault too. You have no clue. No fucking clue Luke. You don’t know what it’s like to see someone you love, go into that ring and not know if they’ll make it out alive. I loved him, fuck I still do and I always will but that’s not why I’m here. Don’t you think for a second that I wasn’t hurting too.” I finish and Calum walks out of the bathroom and with that I walk back upstairs. “The fuck did you say to her?” Calums questions. “Just that I didn’t want her to hurt you again.�� Luke replied. Calum clenches his jaw and just says “Stay out of it.” After that, silence fills the kitchen. 

Eventually they all left to go to the gym to train. Calum had another match tomorrow. Ashton was having a mini get together with Olivia and the boys and he invited me. Dinner, some drinks. “Lydia please come.” Olivia begged. “So Luke can humiliate me in front of everyone again? no thanks I'll sit this one out.” I pleaded. “Calum told him to stay out of it. He won’t try anything. I promise.” Calum did what? Why would he defend me? I eventually considered it and decided to go. 

We walked in and I'm greeted by Ashton and Michael. Luke is on the couch and Calum is outside having a smoke. I decided to go into the kitchen and get a drink. After all, I’m gonna need it tonight. 

“You haven’t changed at all have you?” I’m greeted by Calums raspy voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I look at him in question. “You still drink that shit?” He says chuckling. “I rarely drink but if I see this in someone’s fridge I’m bound to take it.” I reply back. He walks over to me. “Sorry bout Luke earlier. He shouldn’t have said that.” he said sincerely. “He’s looking out for you. I deserved it anyway.” I mutter. “Listen I know it was a tough choice for you to make. You were hurting too. You didn’t deserve it.” he said. Why is he looking out for me? I hurt him. I fucked up bad. I broke his heart and it was my fault. “Why are you talking to me? Why don’t you hate me after what I did? I fucked up majorly and yet you still associate with me.” I said to him. “I couldn’t hate you even if I tried. What you did… fucking hurt.” he paused  but “I know I wasn’t the only one hurting. Your sister told me a little bit after you left.” he replied to me. I stayed silent. “Do you regret it?” He questions. Yes. “More than anything in the world.” I reply honestly. “Can I ask you one more thing?” His jaw clenched. I nod. “Would you have stayed if I quit?” he asks. I think about it for a second. “I would’ve never asked you too but yes, I would’ve. I wish I never fucking left.” and with that I get up and move to find Olivia. I wanted to go home. 

“Can we leave please? I’m getting overwhelmed.” I ask her once I find her. “Lyd I drank I can't drive.” she says to me. “I will.” I hear from behind me. I turned around to see calum standing  there with his hands in his front pockets. “I haven’t drank.” he mutters softly. “o-okay” i stutter. We walk to the car and start driving. It was almost completely silent. “Are you fighting anyone good tomorrow?” I asked. “Nah. Just an amateur. probably will just be a 3 minute match.” he replied. I hummed. “Are you coming?” He asks. I see hope in his eyes. “Do you want me too?” I ask back. “I always said you were my good luck charm.” With that he smiles a little and I feel my cheeks go red. “I’ll go. Only if you want me too” I reply. “I do.” Before we knew it, I was at my apartment. “Thanks for the ride.” I say. “Course. See ya around.” He replied. I simply smile and nod. He waits until I’m in before he leaves.

 Tonight was eventful. I go take out my contacts and get ready for bed. Right before I turned out the light my phone buzzed.

Calum

Thanks for your honesty. See you tomorrow.

Wow. Do I even respond? 

Lydia

Thanks for hearing me out. See you then. 

With that I just went to bed. I don’t want to fall for him again. I can’t, fall for him again. I don’t want to experience the pain I felt again. I don’t want to be terrified of him doing something he loves. He said he’d quit for me but how can I ask him to do that? I don’t want to feel then pain but I miss the love. I miss the feeling of being in his arms. I miss the feeling of waking up next to him. I miss hearing the ‘I love you’s” before and after every match. 

I miss the feeling of being loved. 

                                                 ******

“Wake the fuck up Lydia.” Olivia yells in my face. I jolt awake “What? What do you want?” I ask. “Get ready we’re going to breakfast. Well, lunch now because you took forever to wake up.” She exclaims. “Number one, what time is it? Number two, with who?” I ask groggily. Please don’t say Calum. Please don’t say Calum i think to myself. “It’s 11:00am and Ash and Cal.” Of course. “Is this some weird way of saying we’re going on a double date because I don’t think I’m ready for tha-” She cuts me off. “No it’s not. It’s me saying you two are gonna fix whatever your problems are so it’s not weird to hang out together.” “He asked me to go to his match tonight. I think we’re doing just fine.” “Look at that. Progress. Now get ready. Ashton is picking us up in 30 minutes.” “I hate you.” I mutter and throw a pillow at her as she walks out. 

I get up and quickly get ready. Ashton pulls up and we get in the car. Of course Calum is in the back seat with me. “Good Morning” Ashton exclaims. I just say it back quietly and crawl in the back. “What’s her problem?” Ashton asks gesturing toward me. “I woke her up and she wasn’t happy.” Olivia explains and he just nods and kisses her. I sit in the back with Calum. “Good morning!” He says to me. Someones offly cheery today. “Good morning.” I say back. “How’d you sleep?” He asked. Shitty. “Couldn’t get my mind to settle so I didn’t really sleep.” I say back. He looks at me with a look that’s hard to read. “M sorry. Any reason in particular?” You, I wanted to say. “Everything.” I say back shrugging. “How did you sleep?” I ask. “Couldn’t get comfy. Bruises all over from my fight with Damon.” He replied. “I bet. It was a gnarly fight.” I reply. “Yeah but I feel better knowing that he looks much worse.” He chuckles. I laugh and the car is filled with silence other than the radio. It’s a comfortable silence surprisingly.  

We get to the restaurant and sit down. Olivia is next to Ashton and I’m next to Calum. I swear Olivia does this on purpose. Calum and I used to come here together all of the time. “What are you guys getting?” Ashton asks. “I’m getting the-” I start but before I can finish Calum steps in with, “The belgian waffles with strawberries on it and on the side.” “You remember.” I say to him. “How can I forget? We used to come here twice a week.” He said looking into my eyes. Olivia and Ashton just watch the interaction in silence. Soon the waitress comes over and takes our order. The table is filled with small talk. “So Lydia how’s college been?” Ashton asks and Olivia and Calum just look at me. “Um it’s okay.” I reply not wanting to elaborate on the subject. Olivia gives Ash a look and all of the sudden I feel coldness on my thigh. I look down and see Calums ringed fingers on my leg. I feel my breath hitch in my throat. I look at him and he gives me a reassuring look. After that Olivia asks “Calum are you ready for your fight tonight?” “Yeah. Shouldn’t be too hard.” He replied taking his hand off of my thigh. Our food comes and we all eat. Surprisingly this wasn’t that bad. We were eating and things were going fine until ashton gets a call. “Hello? I’m kinda busy right now what’s up?” He said into the phone. “What? Luke slow down. What happened?” We all look at Ashton in concern. “He wants a rematch? For what? Cal won fair and square.” I look at Calum concerningly and he has a blank look on his face. “Okay give me a few we’ll be there. I’m with the girls.” 

Ashton hung up and Olivia asks, “What’s going on?” “Damon wants a rematch. He came to the gym and basically ambushed Luke and Michael.” “Are they okay?” I ask. “Yeah they’re fine. He threatened them and-” It was Calums turn to speak. “Threatened who?” 

“He threatened Lydia.” 

The world stopped spinning. Me. Why me? They all stare at me. “I’m gonna kill him.” Calum muttered as his jaw clenched. “Why me?” I ask quietly looking at my hands. “He saw you there that night and he heard us talking to you. He figured you were close to Cal. Lydia I’m so sorry.” Ashton explains. Calum just looks at me. He doesn’t know what to say but neither do I. We pay and leave and go to the gym. 

We’re in the car and Calum grabs my hand reassuringly, “He won’t touch you. I won’t let him.” I look into his eyes. Why me? I just came home. I didn’t ask for this. I just look into his eyes and softly nod. 

We arrived at the gym to be greeted by Luke and Michael. “Tell me exactly what happened.” Calum demands. “H-he stormed in here and demanded to see you or Ash but when I told him you weren’t here he got pissed. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and demanded a rematch and that if he doesn’t get it he’s gonna-” He stopped and looked at me worriedly, “He’s gonna what Luke?” Calum yelled. “He’s gonna find L-Lydia.” Calums jaw clenched. Olivia just grabs onto me and hugs me. I stare blankly. Calum looks at me softly “From now on, you don’t travel alone okay? You stay with one of us.” I just look at him and nod. “He wants a rematch? I’ll give him a fucking rematch.” Calum mutters and storms into the locker rooms. They all look at me like I’m about to break. “Are you okay Lydia?” Olivia asks. Am I? I mean, I just got told a big scary man is after me just because he wants to fight my ex-boyfriend. “I don’t know.” that's all I can say right now. “I’m gonna go check on Calum.” Luke says and goes to the locker room. “He’s probably gonna come to his fight tonight.” Ashton mutters to us. “Calum asked me to be here tonight.” I tell him. “I don’t know if he’ll want you here now.”  “He won’t want her alone.” Olivia mutters. 

Calum and Luke walk out. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Calum asks me. “Yeah.” We walk over to the other side of the ring. “I’m so sorry this is happening.” He says refusing to look me in the eye. “It’s not your fault.” I say back. “It is though.” “No it’s not Cal. You didn’t ask for that to happen. You didn’t know it would.” Cal. I haven’t called him that yet since I’ve been back and I think he noticed. He looked up at that. “I won’t let him hurt you.” He says to me. “I know. I trust you.” I paused. “Ashton said something that he might be here for your match tonight. I don’t know If you still want me he-” he cuts me off “I’d rather you here than home by yourself.” He said. “I figured. I just wanted to make sure.” I said to him. “I need to get training. I’ll see you around okay? Please don’t go anywhere alone. I- I don’t know what he’s capable of.” He said worriedly. “I won’t.” He said something under his breath but i heard him anyway, “I’m not losing you again.” 

And with that, he stalked off to train and Ashton took Olivia and I home. The car ride back was silent. It was deafening. He walked us in and I locked myself in my room. 

I just left college to give my head a break and now this happens. I’m being stalked because some guy wants to fight Calum. Why me? I left to escape this. Calum has fought some pretty rough guys but they never went to the extent of this. They never threatened anyone outside the ring, let alone me, someone he hasn’t spoken too in a year. 

                                           ********

After a while I hear a knock on the door, “Hey Lyd, we have to get ready to go.” Olivia says as she peeks her head in. I nod and get up. I walk downstairs and I’m greeted by Ash. “Hey we have to go now. Calums already there but I need to be there soon. He doesn’t want you guys going alone.” We just nod in response and go to the car.

Once we get there I see Calum in the ring training. He glances at me and nods. I returned the gesture and continue to watch him. Luke was certainly right. He has improved. I mean, he had quite the motivation.

 Soon it’s time for the fight and he’s about to go on. He comes over to us and asks Luke, “Has anyone seen him?” He shakes his head. “We have people looking everywhere and there’s no sign of him anywhere.” Luke say and Calum just nods. I don’t even know what he wanted the answer to be. He’s about to go on but I stop him, “Good luck.” I say with a soft smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a few okay? You’ll be okay.” He says before he walks into the ring. I wasn’t sure if he was referring to going into the ring or the crazy man that was currently after me. I just nod in response. 

The fight began and he was right. It was only 5 minutes, if that. He came off. “Well that was easy.” He said to Ashton. “Nonetheless you still did good,” Luke says. Calum was about to say something until he was stopped.

“Gotta say Hood, nice fight. Too bad he was an amateur.” Damon Banks says.

Calum grabs my arms pushed me behind him. “What are you doing here Banks?” He says with a clenched jaw. “Relax. You don’t have to play guard dog right now. I’m just stopping in to make sure your friend relayed the message.” He replied. “Yeah we got it. Leave.” Ashton said. “5 days Hood. You have 5 days.” Damon said and walked off. Calums first instinct was to turn to me, “Are you okay?” “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I ask him. “‘M fine. Stay here with Ashton. I’m gonna go get ready and then I’ll take you home.” I just nod. “Where are you guys going?” “I’m staying at his place tonight.” Olivia says. “But I can’t be alone.” I reply. “Shit that’s right. Calum and I can stay at your place then?” Ash asks Olivia who looks at me. I’d feel safer with them there anyway. “Yeah whatever.” I mutter to them. Calum comes back out and Ashton fills him in about what's happening. He just nods and looks to me, “You ready?” I mutter a quick yes and we go to his car.

We get situated in the car. “Thank you for coming tonight. I know it brings back unwanted memories.” “Cal-” “No I mean it. I'm glad you came.” He said sincerely. “I’m glad I came.” I say. Was I? “You sure?” “I mean yeah. Beats sitting at home alone and paranoid.” I say as he chuckles. “I’m so sorry about everything happening Lydia. I know it’s scary but just know I won’t let him hurt you.” He said as he grabbed my hand. His touch sent me back. I missed this feeling. “I trust you Cal.” I say before realizing the name again. “Cal huh?” He questions and my face goes red. “I- Uh” “It’s okay. I missed hearing you say that.” I laugh and try to hide my face. We soon get to my house and I unlock the door. “If you need to use the bathroom its the-” “Third door on the right. I remember.” “Course you do.” He goes up and gets ready for bed. 

Soon Olivia and Ashton walk in with dinner for us all. “I got you chicken. Your sister said you’d eat it.” Ashton said to me. “Thanks Ash but I’m not really hungry.” I have no appetite. Too much worry and paranoia. I hear footsteps behind me and I jump. “Easy there doll. It’s just me. Have you eaten since this morning?” Calum asks. Did I? No. I didn’t. I barely even ate that. “No I don’t think so.” “Please eat Lyd.” Olivia pleads. “‘M not hungry.” I reply. Calum sits down next to me and grabs my hand, “Why doll?” I wanna smile at the pet name. “I just don’t have an appetite.” “She doesn’t eat when she’s nervous.” Olivia steps in. Calums thumb draws circles around my hand. He looks into my eyes pleadingly. “Please don’t be scared. He won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” He said, “Now please eat.” He finishes as he passes my food to me. I eat and feel a lot better. Funny how that works out.

We all sit down and eat and forget our problems. We all just talk and hangout. I missed this a lot. Eventually we all decide to go to bed. Ashton and Olivia go up and sleep in Olivia’s room. Calum went in our guest room and I went to my room. I try my hardest to go to sleep but I kept tossing and turning. I start to relax and let sleep take over me.

“.....What’s happening? Why isn’t he moving?” I yell at Ashton.

Calum was in his third round with Damon Banks. He was down and he wasn’t moving. I kept asking what was wrong but no one would answer. 

“Ashton what’s wrong?” I kept asking. 

The paramedic went in the room and tried to take his pulse. There was nothing there. “He’s unresponsive.” The paramedic said. “Well do something!” “I can’t. It’s too late.” He replied. 

“What do you mean it’s too late?” Ashton yells. “He can’t be gone he has a girlfriend and friends and a family, he can’t be gone!” 

The other paramedic says, Calum Hood death time 9:08pm. 

He was gone. My Calum was gone. The world stopped spinning. I couldn’t breathe. He was gone. Dead.

I woke up sobbing. What time is it? I grabbed my phone. 2:18am. Fuck. I can’t breathe. I can’t be alone right now. I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do. What do I do? Do I go get Olivia? She’s with Ashton.

Calum. 

I find myself walking to our guest room and open the door. “Calum?” He stirs awake. “Lydia? What’s wrong?” “This was stupid. Just go back to bed. Goodnight.” I turn to leave. This was stupid. “No no come sit.” “Are you sure?” “Yes Lydia. Come here.” I comply and sit down. “Is everything okay?” He asks tiredly. “No.” I paused. “I just had really fucking scary dream.” I say trying to hide my tears. I think he picked up on it because he pulled me into his chest. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Do I? Should I? “Um well, you had your rematch a-and Damon knocked you down and-” My breath hitches, “And you didn’t get back up.” He understood what I meant and just held me tighter. He kissed the top of my head. “I-I don’t wanna lose you again Cal. I can’t.” “You won’t, love. I promise you won't”. ''I’m sorry for waking you.” I said sincerely. “I’d rather you wake me then have to be alone.” He replied. “Do you wanna stay in here?” He asks. “No no it’s okay I’ve bothered you enough-” “Lydia.” He says sternly. “Okay yes.” We lay down and I get comfy. “Goodnight Lydia.” “Goodnight Cal.” He snakes his arm around my waist and kisses my shoulder. I fucking did it again. 

I fell for Calum.  

                                           **********

I woke up before him. I needed to pee but Calum's arm was still around me. I try to move but Calum groans and pulls me back. “Cal, I have to pee.” He just groans and sets me free. I chuckle at him and get up. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth.  I go back to see him scrolling through his phone. “Good morning sunshine.” I say sarcastically. “It was until you got up.” He mutters. I crawl back into bed to face him. “Did you sleep any better?” He asked. If we’re being honest, it was the best sleep I’ve gotten in the past few weeks. “Much better. Thank you for last night.” I thank him and he just says “Of course. Come to me whenever.” I just smile and nod. I hear someone else wake  up, “Welp I guess that’s my cue.” I say as I start to get up before his big hands pulls me back. “No. Just stay here.” “Cal we can’t. If I do recall, you have a big match to train for in 4 days.” “Don’t remind me.” He says as he stuck his head in the crook of my neck. “Come on.” I say as he complies “Ugh fine.” I didn’t even realize he was shirtless. The only thing he had on was a pair of grey sweats that hung low at his waist. I missed seeing him like that. 

I try my best to sneak into my room and go down stairs. Once I go down I see Olivia and Ashton making breakfast. “Good Morning! How’d you sleep?” Ash says to me “Amazing” I reply. “Glad to hear it.” Olivia replies for him. “Lyd can I speak to you for a second?” Olivia says. I nod and we go into the living room. “Ash may not have caught you but I certainly did. Care to explain why you slept in the guest room with Calum?” Fuck. “I couldn’t sleep. I had a scary ass dream and I would always go to him before when it happened. So I don’t know I went to him and he calmed me down and then I kinda just fell asleep.” I say honestly. “Are you two like, a thing again?” She asks. Are we? Well no not officially but we’re more than friends. Right? I mean we did sleep together last night. “No.” I start but she gives me a look. “I don’t know” I say getting flustered. “It’s complicated.” “Do you still love him?” Yes. “Yes of course. I always will but now is not the time. I just got him back Liv. I don’t want to drive him away.” I say back. “Lyd, he looks at you like you’re the last person left on earth. I don’t think there’s a better time.” She says as she walks off. God I don’t want to ruin it again. 

Calum comes down stairs and sits down next to me. “Calum, we have to train all day today. You need to be ready.” Ashton said. He just groans and puts his head on the table. “Yeah yeah I figured.” He replied back tiredly. “How’d you sleep?” Ashton asked. “Can’t complain.” He replied and looked at me briefly. I try my best to hide my red cheeks. He’s gonna be the death of me. “What’s the plan for today?” I asked Olivia. “I have to run a few errands so that means you’re coming along.” She said to me. “Lovely.” We finish breakfast and they go on their merry way. 

                                       *************

Olivia ran all of her errands and we decided to stop in to see Ash and Cal at the end of the day. “What’s up fuckers?” Olivia yells as she walks into the gym. Calum and Ashton turn around. “You’re still going at it? It’s been 8 hours.” She continued. “Liv did you see who he’s fighting?” I chuckle and Ash nods his head in agreement. “We were just finishing up anyway.” Calum says. “I’m gonna go clean up.” He said as he left. “Is he okay?” I ask. “He’s stressed. His body is worn down. He’s bruised. He’s terrified of you getting hurt.” Ash said gesturing to me. “He hates this all.” He finished. I don’t want him to have to worry about me. He needs to focus.

After a little while, Calum walks back out with his stuff. “You ready?” he asks Ashton. Ashton simply nods. Cal walks up to me and just kisses the top of my head. “I’ll see you around.” Olivia and Ashton smile at the gesture. Olivia and I walk to the car and start to head home. 

I’m lost in my thoughts. Why is he being so confusing? I keep thinking before I’m brought out of my thoughts by Liv “Shit Lyd, I need to run to the store and get tampons.” “Okay. I’ll stay in the car. ‘M tired.” I reply. We park and she goes in I keep thinking to myself. Will he make it out okay? Will I make it out okay? I’ve never been more terrified of the unknown and I don’t know what to do. 

After 20 minutes I start to get concerned so I get out to go to the store. I’m walking in before I heard,

“You’d think Hood would know better than to leave his girl alone.” 

Damon Banks. 

No fucking way this is happening right now. “How’d you find me?” 

“I saw you and your sister pull out of the gym. Where is she by the way?” He asks. “What do you want from me?” I ask. He just walks closer to me as I walk back. We go so far back that I bump into the car. He grabs onto my wrists tightly. “Just tryin to send your boyfriend a message.” My wrists hurt. He won’t let go. “You’ve sent one loud and clear. Now please let me go.” I plead but he won’t stop. Tears are brimming my eyes. Where is my fucking sister? “Y-you’re hurting me please.” I try but he just looks coldly into my eyes. “Tell him I’m looking forward to our match. And this time I'll make sure he doesn't walk out alive.” He says as he finally releases. My sister finally walks out and sees him standing over me. “Lydia?” She yells. “Your sisters coming.” He said “A little too late don’t ya think?” He said to her. “Damon.” She says as her face falls to my tear filled one. “I’m just leaving.” He looks back at me “Nice talkin to ya.” 

“Go to hell.” I say through gritted teeth. 

Olivia runs over to me and hugs me. I stand still. “Can we go please?” “Y-yeah of course.” We get in the car. “I’m so sorry Lydia. I didn’t mean to take so long. I couldn’t find them because they rearranged the store and then they weren’t on the shelf-” “It’s fine just drive.” I say. “No it’s not fine Lydia.” She sees me holding one to my wrists. “Did he hurt you?” She says as she grabs my wrist inspecting the bruises. “How hard did he grab you?” she asks concerningly. I just look down. “We have to call the boys.” She says. “No.” “No? Damon just assaulted you and you don't want to tell them?” “No I don’t want them to worry more.” “I’m sorry but I’m calling Calum.” “Liv please-” I try but it’s too late. She puts it on speaker 

“Olivia? What’s up? Is everything okay?” I hear over the phone.

“Well no not really. It’s about Lydia.” 

“What happened?” I hear with concern lacing his voice.

“Damon happened.” she said. “Come over to my house please. Like now.” 

                                            *************

Calum was seeing red. “Where is she?” He yelled as he walked in. Liv points to the living room. He walks in, no. Runs in to see me sitting on the couch crying trying to cover my bruises. The sight has to be heartbreaking. The man who wants him dead hurt the one thing that mattered most to him. He comes over and sits down next to me. He grabs my cheeks with his calloused hands. “I need you to tell me what happened.” He starts. 

“L-liv had to go to the store and I stayed in the car but she was taking too long so I got out and” I hiccuped “and he was waiting by the store and he stopped me. H-he backed me up into the car and gripped onto my wrists. He said he was sending a message. That he’s gonna make sure that-” I hiccup again. “That you’re not gonna come out alive.” My biggest nightmare. He takes it all in and grabs my hands but I yanked them away. It hurt. He grabs them again more gently and inspects the bruises. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He says to me as he stands up. He has no expression on his face.  “Calum please don’t. I don’t know what he’ll do to you.” I beg. “Are you kidding me Lydia? You could’ve been severely hurt. You think your wrists are bad? If your sister didn’t come out when she did, he could’ve done so much worse.” He yells. “Please don’t yell at me.” I plead. “I’m sorry but look at you right now. If he would’ve hurt you more I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m supposed to protect you. I promised I’d keep you safe. And here we are.” With that my sister walks in, “Calum.” She says, “And you. You weren’t there. Your sister has big fucking bruises from this man that wants me dead and you weren’t there.” He yells. “Mate please.” Ash says. “Don’t do that mate bullshit right now. How are you not mad?” He yells again. “I’m furious Cal. But I don’t want you to go do something stupid.” Ash says to him. ��I can’t believe you right now.” Calum says as he stalks toward the door. “Where are you going?” Ashton asks. “Out.” “Calum please.” I beg. He just looks at me and walks out. “I don’t want him to get hurt.” I cry. “He’ll be fine. He just needs some air. He’s gonna beat himself up over this.” Ashton said to me trying to make me feel  better. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? 

After a while Ashton and Olivia went up to her room. I can’t sleep knowing that Cal is out there. I wait in the living room praying that he walks in. 

I’m sitting watching TV when suddenly the door swings open. Calum stands there with tears in his eyes and a bruised face and bloody hands. “Calum? What happened?” I say running to him. I go to grab his face to inspect it but he looks away. “Calum.” I say and he complies. He looks at me and I see the pain. I see the hurt flash in his eyes. With that, I hug him. I hugged him so tightly, afraid he was gonna slip away at any minute. I released after a little but and just ask 

“W-what happened?”

 “Well I found Damon. Roughed him up a little bit. He pulled out a knife but I knocked it out of his hands before he could do anything with it.” He said refusing to look at me. I grabbed his hands and see how bloody they are. “That’s what happens when I fight with rings on.” He says as I nod. “Are you okay?” He asks me. “Are you?” I ask back. “I will be when this stupid match is over.” He replies. “Come on. I’m cleaning you up.” I say to him and drag him to my bathroom. “Lyd you don’t have to-” “Yes I do. Now come on.” I say grabbing his bloody hand. 

I pat the countertop and tell him to sit. “Been a minute since I’ve done this.” I say as he chuckled. I get the cotton pads and disinfectant and bring it out. I start by taking off his rings. I can feel his eyes burning into me as I’m cleaning his hands. I then move on to his face and clean off the dried blood. He watches my every move and suddenly I get self-conscious. I feel like we haven’t been this close in a while. Once I’m finished with that I just look at him. “Are there any more hidden marks?” I ask as he lifts his shirt to reveal a huge gash on his side. I gasp, “Calum I thought you said he didn’t get you with the knife.” “He didn’t. Those were from his rings.” He holds his shirt up so I can clean it, “C-can you take this off? It’s easier.” I ask as he just obeys and flings it over his head.  I clean it up and start to put the stuff away. He stands up and as I turn around I find him right there. “I’m so fucking sorry Lydia. I promised you this wouldn't happen.” “Please don’t blame yourself.” I beg. “This was not your fault.” I say as I finish picking up my stuff. “W-will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask him. “Of course.” he says no questions asked. 

I start to walk out of the bathroom before his hand grabs my arm and he pulls me into him. Our noses are touching and he just looks into my eyes. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine. This kiss was filled with love and passion. It was a feeling we were both longing for. It felt like in this moment, time stopped. 

“I should’ve done that a lot sooner.” Calum says out of breath but he’s still holding on to me. 

“I’m never letting you go again. Not now. Not ever.” He said. 

With that I stand on the tip of my toes and kiss him again. “I’ve missed this so much.” I say. “You have no clue darling.” He replied.

After all of tonight's events, this is when I felt most whole. I loved Calum. With everything in me. I always will. We went to bed and he held me as I fell asleep. I rolled over to face him. He kissed my forehead and I placed my head under his chin. As I’m falling asleep I hear a faint whisper. I barely even caught it, 

“I love you so fucking much.” 

                                                  **********

I wake up right where I want to be. 

With Calum. 

Our legs are entangled together and his strong arms hold me tightly against his chest. This is bliss. I thought I'd never find this feeling ever again. My eyes slowly shutter open to see he’s still sleeping. I kiss the tip of his nose and he just smiles. “Good Morning love.” His raspy morning voice whispers. “Good Morning.” I smile back. “How are you feeling?” I ask him. “Sore but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.” He says with worried eyes. “How are you feeling?” He asks, “Honestly terrified to leave my own house. My wrists are sore and those bruises aren’t going anywhere anytime soon but other than that I’m fantastic.” I mutter. He lets out a soft chuckle. “What time is it?” he asks. I roll over and check. “It’s 9:09” “I have to get up soon. Another full day of training.” “Cal, you’re hurt. I don’t want you to wear yourself down before the big day bub.” He smiles at the name, “I know doll but I need to be ready.” He says. “I’m not saying not train at all,  but maybe not the entire day?” I suggest. I know how he used to get when he trained all day and all night. He’d come home stressed and worn down. He has a big fight he needs to be alert for and training on top of all his injuries is going to make it worse. “If you want, I can talk to Ash.” I say. “I got it love. I should probably apologize to him anyway.” He said. “Last night, I was an asshole-” “You were worried. There’s a difference.” He nods and kisses the top of my head. I loved when he did that stuff. A little but sweet gesture. 

Eventually we roll out of bed and motivate. I’m greeted by Olvia and Ashton in the kitchen. Calum is still in the bathroom upstairs. “Did he come here last night?” Ash asks, concern lacing his voice. “Yes he’s upstairs and I’m gonna tell you something and you have to promise me you won’t lash out at him.” “Lydia-” “Promise me Ashton. Please.” I almost beg. He relents and nods. “So he came back around 2am with bruises and blood everywhere. He found Damon and ‘roughed him up a bit’. Apparently Damon pulled out a knife but Cal got rid of it before anything happened. I took care of him and cleaned him up. He had blood all over his hands. Not even 100% sure if it was his. Bruises and cuts on his face and a big gash on his side. I cleaned it. He’s better now but he’s sore. He feels awful. Please don’t freak out on him. It’ll only make it worse.” I finish my speech and he just stands there silently. “Thank you for taking care of him last night.” Is the first thing he says. “Of course. Anytime.” I say sincerely. “Can I ask you something?” He asks me. “Yeah of course.” “Are you two like, back together?” I think about it. “We kissed. That’s it. I don’t know what he’s feeling but whatever he wants to do. I left him so I understand if he doesn’t want to get back together. If he does, that’s great too and I’ll say yes. It’s up to him.” I say. “I asked because he never stops talking about you. I think he wants to get back together but I don’t know if he’ll come out and say it.” I nod and then Calum comes down stairs. He refuses to look anyone in the eye. He slowly walks over next to me at the table and sits. I grab his hand and rub it reassuringly. “I’m so sorry Ash.” Calum weaps as I glare at Ashton. “Hey hey it’s okay. You were worried. I’m not mad.” “Y-you’re not?” Calum says finally looking up. “No bud. It happens. He threatened your girl so you were upset. If that happened to Liv, i’d go apeshit.” Ashton said. 

Your girl. 

His girl. 

Calum looks at me with sympathy in his eyes and grips my hand. “Thank you.” He says to Ashton. Ash just nods. “When are we training today?” Calums frail voice asks. “I have a lot to do today so we’re probably only training a couple hours.” Calums eyes lit up with that one. “Okay” he mutters quickly. I can tell he’s embarrassed over everything that happened in the last 24 hours. “C-can Lydia come?” He asks shyly. “I want to be with her in case Damon tries something again.” He finishes. Ash looks at me for approval and I just nod my head. “Sure Cal.” “Is that okay with you?” Calum asks me. “Yeah bub of course.” I say and nod my head. He smiles back at me. 

After a little while we all get ready to go to the gym. We file into the car and I sit in the back with Calum. He grabs my hand and rubs circles on it with his thumb. The little gestures like that make my heart melt. The car ride is pretty silent. We pull in to the gym and walk in. “Hey I’m gonna go get ready. You can sit over there and watch if you’d like.” He said. “I get to watch you train? Today must be my lucky day.” I say sarcastically. “Oh hush.” He says and starts to walk off. I turn around but suddenly I’m whipped back around and before I know it, his lips are on mine. I feel myself smile into the kiss. “Okay I’m gonna go now.” He says before giving me another quick kiss.

He’s done it again. I’ve fallen in love with him all over again.

He trains and I watch. I love watching him lose himself in the ring. It’s just scary because I don’t want him to get hurt. I know that in a few days, someone is going to walk out of that ring extremely hurt and I just pray it’s not him. 

He finishes up and walks over to me. “Hey love.” He says leaning in for a hug and I stop him, “I will give you the biggest hug after you wipe all of the sweat off of you.” I say chuckling. He laughs and hugs me anyway. “What did I say?” I question, “Oh hush.” I relent and wrap my arms around him. God I missed this. “I’m gonna go clean up and then we can hit the road.” He says as he kisses my cheeks and walks off to the locker room. Olivia walks over to me. “Not together my ass.” “He hasn’t said anything about it. Should I bring it up?” “Well Ashton is taking me out tonight so you two have the house to yourselves.” She says. “I mean that is if he stays with you but I think we both know he will.” She finishes. I think about it for a second. Should I ask him or is it too early?

Soon he comes out and asks if I’m ready. “Hey will you stay over with me for a while? Ash is taking out Liv and I don’t want to be alone.” I ask. “I already planned on it love.” I smile at him endearingly. He drives to my house and the car is just filled with small talk. No awkwardness. No tension. 

We arrive at my house and drop our stuff in the living. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” I say to him. “I could eat.” He chuckles. We go into the kitchen and I open the pantry. “All I have to make is pasta. I hope that’s okay.” I say to him. “That’s perfect doll. I’m gonna go freshen up. I’ll be right back.” He says as he marches upstairs and I start to make the food. 

After a little while, I realize he’s taking a bit. “Cal?” I call for him but no response.That’s odd. I thought he was just freshening up. I walk up stairs and go to the bathroom. “Cal? Are you okay?” I ask as I knock. “Y-yeah I’m fine.” He stutters. “Can I come in?” I ask carefully. I hear the door unlock and I take that as the okay to walk in. I walk in to see his tear stained face. “Cal. Baby what’s wrong?” I ask grabbing his cheeks. “I-I’m terrified Lydia. I so scared he’s gonna hurt you or I’m not gonna come out of that ring.” He says through tears. “Hey hey look at me.” I say. “I’m gonna be okay-” “I couldn’t even protect you from him the other day.” “How were you supposed to know that would happen? You can’t. I didn’t expect it. As far as you, you’re gonna go in that ring and you’re gonna knock his ass down and show him not to mess with Calum Hood. You have so many people in your corner Cal. You have Luke, Mike, Liv, Ash. You have me. I’ll be there every step of the way if you let me.” I finish as I lead him to my room to sit on my bed. I grab a tissue and wipe his face. 

God I regret leaving him. It was truly the worst decision I have ever made. I’ll never stop loving him. I never have and I never will. “What’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?” he asks finally calming down. 

“How the worst choice I ever made, in my entire life, was leaving you.” 

“Lyd-” 

“No let me finish. I will kick myself for leaving you for the rest of my life. You were the best thing I had going for me. I went to college, hoping to escape but I was miserable without you. I didn’t come back to win you back. I didn’t even want to go to the match that night because it wasn’t fair to you. If I had just fucking sucked it up and watched you box and supported you with it, I wouldn’t have lost you.” I pause. “I’m so fucking stupid for letting you go and I will never forgive myself for it.” 

Silence fills the room. 

“Okay now you’re gonna let me speak. You left because you thought you were doing the right thing and I can’t blame you for that. I know it was hard for you to watch me get my ass beat by men twice my size every night. I know that I wasn’t the only one in pain when you sat me down on the counter to fix my wounds twice a week. You leaving, felt worse than any other punch I would receive, but I was never resentful. When you came back, I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing out bad thing. Now I know, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

I look up with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 

“What you did fucked me up. It took a minute to heal but it gave me the motivation to become stronger. I’m able to beat people like Damon. This fight on Friday, is going to be the hardest fight I’ve ever faced. Not just because of who I’m fighting. It’s who I’m fighting for.” he paused. “I’m finally learning to fight for what I love.” 

Love. There's that word again. 

“I love you so much Lydia. I never stopped.”  

He loves me. Calum loves me. 

I had no words. The only thing that came to mind for me was to grab his face and kiss him. This kiss was different than the last. This one was full of love and passion. “I love you so much Calum. I always will.” I say and then reconnect our lips. “I’m never letting you go ever again. Never fucking again.” Calum said through kisses. We break away and just look at each other, I take in his beauty. 

“I love you but I need to make sure the house isn't on fire from the pasta.” I mutter. “Oh shit I forgot about the pasta.” He chuckles. We get off my bed and run down stairs and see the house is still standing and the pasta isn’t burnt. As I was stirring, I felt Calums strong arms wrap around my waist. This is the shit I live for. He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck and I just giggle. He’s the only person that can give me butterflies. He releases and presses a quick kiss to my cheek. I finish the pasta and get it ready for him. We sit down and eat and he fills me in of all I’ve missed while I was gone. I ask about his family. They don’t really speak to him because they don’t agree with the boxing. Their loss. 

Eventually, Olivia and Ashton come home to see us cuddling on the couch. “How was your date?” I ask nonchalantly. “It was good… What did I miss here?” Ashton asks looking at us questioningly. “Well, we made pasta.” I say and then turn to Calum. “That’s all you did?” Liv asks heading for the stairs. “I mean, we also confessed our love for each other.” Calum adds like it’s nothing and then kisses the top of my head. “Huh figured.” Ashton says. “Cal do you want to stay here or go back to the apartment?” Ashton asks. Calum just looks at me and I nod to him. He knows what I’m implying. “I don’t want to leave her.” He says. “Liv looks like we’re staying here.” He yells to live. “Okay babe.” She yells back. 

Tonight a new love was formed out of an old one. Calum and I never stopped loving each other and we probably never will. He was my first real love. Sure, there have been others but they weren’t him. He makes me feel like I’m the only girl alive. He makes me feel things I thought I’d never feel. He makes me feel like I belong. After a little while, we headed back up to my room and get comfy in bed.

“Hey Lydia?” “Yeah babe?” 

“Whatever happens at this fight on friday, just know how much I love you. It’s gonna get ugly but I just need you to know you are my entire world. Okay? I love you Lydia. More than anything. I just got you back and I don’t plan on losing you anytime soon.” He says to me. With that I kiss him passionately. “Calum I love you so much.” We hold each other like we’re too afraid to let go all night.

                                             **********

It was Wednesday. The fight is on Friday. Two days. I was starting to get nervous for him. I roll over to see he wasn’t there. Where is he? I check my phone and it’s 8:00am. After a little bit he comes in. “Good morning love! Did I wake you?” “No bub I just woke up.” He nods and crawls back into bed with me. “Why is that I sleep so much better with you by my side? No tossing and turning. No nightmares.” He chuckles. “I guess you’re just what I needed.” I mumble. He kisses the tip of my nose and cradles my body against him. “I take it you’re training all day.” I said to him. “Yup. Ash already texted me and told me we had catching up to do. I can come back over when it’s done.” “mmmm sounds good.” I mumble to him. “How are you feeling about Friday?” I asked hesitantly. “Honestly terrified. I just want it over with.” He says to me. I’ve never seen him so worked up about a fight.  “Soon enough babe.”I just want it to be over with for him. We spent another half hour just cuddling and talking about various topics. 

Eventually that was all over and he had to go training. I stayed at the apartment and cleaned up. After a while my phone started buzzing like crazy. Liv was calling.

“Hello?” 

“Lydia I have a problem.” 

“What kind of problem?” I ask wearily.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

The wind was knocked out of my lungs. 

“O-okay. Come to the apartment.” I say as she mutters a quick goodbye.

Soon she bursts through the door with a tear stained face. 

“Lydia what do I do? I’ve missed my period. I’m nauseous all the time.” She says through tears. “Hey hey calm down first and foremost. Have you taken a test?” she shakes her head. “Okay let's start there. Let’s go get-” I start to say as she pulls three out of her bag. “I didn’t want to do it alone.” She mutters. “Go take them and come back out.” She goes to take them as I finish up cleaning. 

She marches back out and sits on the couch. “Now we wait.” She says worriedly. “Listen. You were meant to be a mom. If they are positive, you have me and you’ll have Ash.” “I can’t do this to him. We’re young. His job is too dangerous for a kid-” “And he will figure it out. If I know one thing, he loves you more than life. He won’t run from you.” I reassure her. 

Enough time passes and we decide it’s time. “Do you want me to look?” I ask and she nods. I walk into the bathroom and prepare myself. 

Test 1: Positive

Okay thats just one. 

Test 2: Positive.  

Oh no.

Test 3: Positive. 

I was silent. Fuck. She’s gonna be a mom. I’m gonna be an aunt. Holy shit. 

“Well?” She asks. 

“Positive. All positive.” I say.

Her face fell. “What am I gonna do?” She asks. “You’re gonna do this the right way. Call him right now and tell him you need to talk and it’s important and have him and Cal come over after training.” She nods and calls him in the other room.

I’m excited and scared for her. She’s right. His job is dangerous. This weeks events are only a fraction of what can be involved. 

“He said okay. He sounds worried.” Liv says. 

My phone buzzed. 

Calum

Is everything okay?

“He must be because Cal just texted me.” 

Lydia

For me? Yes. For liv? Not so much. You’ll see when you come over. 

Liv and I spent the next hour talking about how she should break the news. The door swung open to reveal Ashtons worried face. Liv stands up. 

“We need to talk.” She starts with. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks. 

“No baby of course not.” She reassured. During this, Calum came over to greet me with a kiss. “What’s happening?” He asks. “Watch.” 

“Then what’s the matter?” Ashton asks as he grabs her hand to sit down. Calum sits on the recliner and motions for me to sit on his lap. I oblige and he holds me tightly. 

“Before I say anything just know I love you okay?” 

“You’re scaring me liv-”

“I’m pregnant.” She rips off the bandaid. Ashton and Calum's jaw dropped open. 

“H-how is that possible?” He asks. “We’re always careful.” He says. I try to find an expression but the only thing I see is fear. 

“Accidents happen Ash.” I step in. “How long have you known?” He asks. “I missed my period two days ago. I took the tests an hour ago.” She said calmly. 

“Thank you for telling me right away.” He starts. “We’ll figure this out love. I’m not leaving you if that’s why you’re worried.” He says. Both me and Liv let out a breath as he said that. 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He finishes with as he hugs and kisses her.

“I see why that was so urgent.” Calum mutters. “You think?” I chuckle. 

As I stand I say, “I don’t know about you but I’m hungry and she’s feeding two so what are y’all in the mood for?” 

“I could go for chinese.” Liv suggests. “Sounds good. Cal do you want to come with me to get it?” I ask. “Sure babe. Let me grab my stuff.” I wait for him and we walk to the car.

“How was training?” I ask him. “Long and rough. I’m sore but I’m getting more prepared.” He says. “I think I can really beat him Lydia.” “I know you can. You did once, you can do it again. I believe in you.”  The drive there was filled with small talk. We got to the restaurant and Cal ran in to pick it up. He came back out and started to drive back,

“Hey I was thinking about something.” He starts and I look at him. “I think that after this fight I’m gonna slow down a bit.” I ponder. “Please don’t do it because of me.” I say to him. “I mean it’s not completely about you. I’m sick of hurting everywhere and dedicating every second of my life to training. I’m tired of putting the people I love in danger.” He pauses, “And now that Liv is expecting, I think I should settle down.” He wasn’t wrong but It feels odd.

 “But Calum think of how you feel when you win a match. Think of how you feel knowing you won again. Knowing that bets people placed were wrong.”

“I thought you hated that I fought. Why are you trying to convince me to keep doing it?” He asks. “Because I know you. I know you’ll be upset if you stop.” “Yeah I will but I’ll get over it.” “That’s not the point Cal.” 

“Then what is?” He yells. 

“Why are you so mad?” I ask. 

“I thought you’d want me to quit. I mean that’s all you wanted right?” He asks testing me. 

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” I ask angrily. 

“Do you even love me?” He asks. 

“What- Of course I do.”

“Are you sure about that Lydia? Or do you plan on running again?” He says and I went silent. 

He really pulled that card. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now Calum?” His jaw clenches. “What? It happened before. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?” He spat at me.

We finally pulled in the driveway. “You know you’re a real fucking dick. Maybe I’m regretting getting back together. Clearly your intentions are all over the place.” I say as I march into the house without even listening to his response. “I’m gonna eat in my room.” I told Liv and Ash. As I take my food and go to my room. 

I thought it would be different. That we could have a clean slate. I guess I was wrong. I ate my food, cried, and went to sleep for the night. 

                                               ************

Of course it was back to the nightmares. I decided to clear my head so I went down to the kitchen to get water. I walk downstairs to see Calum on the couch. He’s awake. I try my best to ignore him. 

“Can we talk?” He asks. “Uhh nah. I’m apparently too busy running.” I spat back without looking him in the eye. “I’m being serious.” He says. “So am I.” 

It was silent for a minute. “Nightmares?” He asks and I just nod. “Thought you would’ve left.” I say to him. “Ashton and Liv went back to his place to talk about options. I’d never leave you alone.” He said. I rolled my eyes and got some water. He just stares at me. “What Cal? Don’t you think you’ve dug at me enough tonight?” I say to him refusing to look him in the eye. What he said hurt. Bad. “I’m not trying to argue with you Lydia.” He started, “I’m just scared.” 

“I’m not gonna leave you again Cal. I thought I made that clear.” I said, my face softening. “I know.” He said quickly. “I’m just insecure and clingy. I need constant reassurance and I-” I stop him. “Calum look at me.” He does and I grab the sides of his face. “The biggest mistake I ever made was leaving you. If you talked to my sister you know what shape I was in. I love you. More than life.” “I’m sorry I was a dick.” He says. I chuckle. “It’s okay.” And with that he kissed me. “I love you.” He says in between kisses. The kisses get deeper each time. He’s making a mess of my hair with his rough hands. He backs me up into the counter and I jump to sit on it. He pulls away for a second and smiles. “I love you.” He whispers before kissing me again. 

He grabs the bottom of my legs and carries me up to my room, refusing to break the kiss. Next thing I know he sets me on the bed and he’s over me. “We don’t have to go farther if you don’t want to.” He broke the kiss with. I kissed him back in response. “I want this.” I kissed him again. “I want you.” I said as he smiled back in response. “God I’ve missed you.” He said as he threw his shirt off. I took that moment to discard of my shirt. “I love you Calum.” I said as he kissed me. “I love you more.” 

And that night we proved just how much we loved each other. We’ve had sex before yes but never like that. This time, it was filled with passion and love. I missed him. I’m never letting someone like him slip through my fingers again.

                                              *************

One day until the dreaded fight. I woke up with a pit in my stomach. Cal was gonna be training all day. I woke up before him and just watched him sleep intently. I know this was hard on him. He would never show it but I know he’s so stressed. This fight could be what ends his career. I’m brought out of my thoughts by his raspy voice. “Are you staring?” He says. “I’m gazing.” I reply. “You’re pretty.” I finish. “Says you.” He replies with a blush. “Good morning love.” He says as he kissed me. “How’d you sleep?” I ask. “Decently actually. How about you?” “Better. No nightmares.” “Are they always the same?” He asks curiously. “Lately yes but usually they vary.” I answer honestly. Ever since I went to college, I had nightmares almost every night. My sleep schedule was fucked because of it. I wouldn’t sleep for more than 3 hours a night. When I came home, it got better but they never went away until I started sleeping next to Calum again.

“How are you feeling?” I ask and I think he knows what I’m implying. He just shrugs, “ I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to fight a man who wants me dead.” he starts, “But I’m as ready as I can be. I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in, I’ve got the best support system and I’m prepared. Ashton has been trying to teach me tricks and I’ve done practice fights with Luke and Mike.” He said. I nod to him.

“Do you want me there tomorrow?” I ask only because it’s appropriate. Yes I’m his girlfriend and I want to support him but the fight is going to be brutal. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” He said honestly. “It’s up to you. I’d love to see you there but if you’re not comfortable being there, ‘M not gonna force you.” He replied. I thought about it for a second. How can I not be there? This is the biggest fight of his career. “I’ll be there.” I said. “Are you sure? I don’t want to-” He starts but I cut him off with my finger. “I’ll be there.” I said into his eyes. “Okay.” He replies. We lay and cuddle for a little while until it was interrupted by his phone ringing. “It’s Ash.” He says confused. “What time is it?” I ponder. “Only 9. I don’t have to be to the gym until 11.” He says back.

“Yo what’s up?” He asks.

“Cal we’ve got an issue.” Ash says and my ear perks up. Cal sits and just said “Why what’s wrong?”

“Damon just stormed into the gym and spoke to Luke. He’s moving the fight.”

“What? To when?”

“Tonight.”

My eyes widen as Calum just stays silent. “I’ll be to the gym in a few.” and with that he hung up the phone. I didn’t know what to do or say. He gets up and I let him. He walks to the door and turns around for a second, “I’m taking this fucker down tonight.” and walks out.

******

This day went by faster than I’d like to admit. Calum went to the gym to get ready. Liv came home and got ready. Before we knew it, Liv was driving us to the underground arena. I felt sick. I was silent. She could tell how nervous I was. “Hey.” She brought me out of my thoughts with. “He’ll be okay. He’s strong.” She said to me and I just nodded.

We arrived to the arena and went in. The air was thick. The tension was thick. Liv brought us to the back was the boys were. “Where’s Cal?” I ask them and he just point to the corner where I see him throwing punches to the punching bag. I excuse myself and walk over there. “Hey” I say to him. He sees me and offers me a smile. I go over to him and hug him. It’s the only thing that felt right. In that moment time stopped. Soon we pull away and he holds my cheeks with his wrapped hands. “Look at me love.” He starts. “Whatever happens in that ring, just know that I love you. It’s not gonna be pretty. I’m probably gonna walk out with something broken but I refuse to let him leave standing. After what he did to you, he’s not coming out on top.” I just nod at him. “I love you Calum.” I whisper to him as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. This is all too familiar. This fear in my stomach, felt known. With that, he gives me the biggest kiss and engulfs me in his arms. “Hey Cal?” Mike interrupts. “It’s time.” He says. He pulls away, “I love you Lydia. More than anything. I’ll come back to you.” He started, “I promise.” I nod and let him walk off. I’m holding him to that.

He will come back to me.

The announcer starts his speech and introduces the fighters. I stand over by Liv and Ashton. I hear the bell and it signified the start of the fight. Right now, they’re walking in circles but Damon is taunting him. I can hear him.

“......Gotta say Hood, your taste in women is impeccable.” Damon says.

Is he bringing me up in this fight?

“I wonder how she’d look with her lips around my-”

And that’s when Calum threw the first punch, knocking Damon down in an instant. Calum crouches down to his level and whispers something I can barely make out, “That’s the last time you speak about my girl ever again if you want to make it out of here alive.” Damon just snickers and tries to stand up. Calum holds his elbow to his throat and holds him down. The ref counts and Calum won the first round. Two more to go.

“You think you can get away with that Hood?” Damon says lunging toward Calum grabbing him and spinning him around in a choke hold. I wince as his face goes red. Liv notices and grabs onto my hand. Calum brought his foot up and kicked him in dick, setting him out of Damons grasp. It isn’t long before Damon lurches as him again punching him down. Calums down, clutching his head in pain. “Try me.” Damon says as they announce Damon won that round.

Calum gets up and I can tell he’s dizzy. He keeps stumbling around the ring. Damon lunges at him and flips Calum to the ground, “God I love seeing you lose.” Damon says in Calums face and then something flipped in Calums head. He quickly got up and switched positions, so now Damon was on the ground. “I don’t lose.” Calum said through bloody teeth. Calum punched him like his life depended on it. With that, Damon stayed down. Blood was everywhere. Damons, Calums. “Certainly not after you go after my fucking family. Remember me in hell.” Calum says after he sent Damon one last punch, knocking him unconscious.

The ref announced Calum as the winner.

Calum won against Damon Banks. He won. He’s alive. They escort him out of the ring and the first thing he does is run over to me and engulfs me in the biggest hug. I don’t care how sweaty he is. In this moment the only thing that mattered was that he was okay. “I knew you could do it.” I said as I grabbed his face. We release as he smiles. Ashton comes over and greets him with a towel and a hug. “That’s what I’m talking about man!” Ashton says, happiness clear on his face. Luke and Mike come over and hug him and say how proud they are. Calum walks over to the bench but stumbles. “Are you okay Cal?” Ashton asks. Calum just shakes his head and holds his head in his hands. “Hey hey what’s wrong?” I ask and sit next to him. “M-my head.” He says quickly. “Get him to the hospital.” I say to Ashton and he hesitates. “Ashton he said it’s his head. Something could be seriously wrong.” I say through gritted teeth. Calum keeps groaning in pain. “Lydia you don’t understand. We could all get in trouble-” “Do you fucking hear yourself right now? Calum is hurt.” I yell frustrated. Calum could be seriously hurt and he doesn’t seem to care. “This has happened before. He’ll be fine-” It wasn’t until Calums head fell into my lap that Ashton realized it’s serious.

“Calum?” I say gripping his head. His eyes are closing. “Calum no stay with me!” I yell as his eyes flutter close. Ashton rushes to him. “Calum bud. Come on.” Nothing. No response. “Get him to the hospital now!” I yell. Ashton picks him up and rushes him to the car. I’m behind him but I stop as I see Damon outside the door. “Bring him to the hospital. I’ll grab his stuff and meet you there with Liv.” I shakily say to Ash. He just nods and obeys. I kiss Calums head and whisper, “You are not done yet.”

“Like I said.” I hear a voice say behind me, “I don’t lose.” Damon says.

“Your broken nose and concussion says otherwise.” I spat back as I go to retrieve Calums belongings. “Really? I’m not the one being rushed to the hospital.” “You know what Damon?” I start, “You come here, throw a temper tantrum because you lost the first time, lose a second time and still claim you’re a winner.” I pause and step closer. “But I don’t see a single soul here cheering you on. You tried to beat Calum by talking about me in the ring. Me, his girlfriend, who is there cheering him on. Along with his best friends. Who do you have, huh?” I pause and he just stares at me. “Yeah what I thought. You lost not once, but twice, to Calum. So who’s the real winner?” I spat and walk away. “You shouldn’t have said that.” He yells. “You’re not gonna do shit.” I say to him, calling his bluff. “How are you so confident that I won’t?” He asks. “Because you know there are people that would care if I lived or died. The difference is I or anyone for that matter, could kill you right now, and no one would care. If you call that winning, then congratulations. You fucking won Damon Banks.” I say as I go inside, get Calums stuff and get my sister. We walk out to see Damon gone and we drive to the hospital.

We arrive as I run in. I see Ashton in the waiting room with his head in his lap. “Anything?” He shakes his head as a nurse comes walking in. “Family of Calum Hood?” She calls out. “Yes that’s us.” “Are you immediate family?” She asks. “We’re all he has.” Ashton says. She just nods and tells us what happened. “Calum has something called Craniocerebral Trauma. It’s a very serious head injury that’s a result from a big blow to the head. Do you know what happened?”

Ashton looks to me for the answer. “He was jumped.” I answer quickly. Ash just nods agreeing with me. I technically wasn’t wrong. The nurse hums in response, “They must’ve really went for his head.” I just nod and look for the ground. “W-will he be okay?” I ask. “He’s stable right now. When he wakes up, there's a list of pills he needs to take. As long as he does, he’ll be just fine. It’s in his hands now.” He’s gonna be okay. “Can we see him?” Ashton asks. “Two at a time.” The nurse says. I gesture to Luke and Michael who just arrived. “You guys wanna go see Cal?” I ask and they nod and follow the nurse. As they walk away, Ashton just hugs me as I cry into his shoulder. “He’s gonna be okay Lyd. It’s okay.” He whispers to me. I stay in his embrace for a minute. I release and sit down. I can’t stop jittering and shaking.

Luke and Michael walked out and Ashton and Liv went in. Luke and Mike came and sat with me. “He looks a lot better than he did at the arena.” Luke expresses. “The doctor said he should wake up at any time now.” Mike said. “Yeah well I’m not leaving until he does.” I mutter. After another hour it’s my turn. I decide to go in alone.

I walk in to see his sleeping body laying on the bed. He’s hooked up to so many wires and chords. I sat down in the chair next to the bed and just stare at him. He looks peaceful. After the week he’s had, he needs this rest. “I never thought I’d be in this situation with you.” I chuckle. “I’ve cleaned up your wounds but I’ve never sat with you in the hospital. I can’t say I didn’t see this coming.” I say as I pause and grab his hand. “You know, you’ll be proud of me. I bascially told Damon to fuck off.” I laugh. “God I wish you were awake. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. When I left, you were just figuring yourself out. I come back and you’re this man. I know I never should have left. Times like these really but things into perspective.” I finish my speech as a single tear rolls down my cheek. “I love you Calum. I never stopped. I never will.” I say. I start to doze off. It’s been a long day. I don’t even feel myself fall asleep.

I feel something against my hand move. I open my eyes and see my hand is still holding Cals. I see his thumb start to move against my hand. “C-cal?” I say rising out of a sound sleep.

“Couldn’t get rid of me that easily love.” He says with his raspy voice. I smile as tears come from my eyes. I stand up and kiss him like I never have before. “I love you Lydia.” He mumbles.

I call the nurse in to check his vitals and alert the boys he’s awake. They all come in and he holds my hand the entire time. It’s almost like he’s afraid to let go. He asks multiple questions. “Did he look worse?” He asked about Damon. Ash just chuckled and said “Much.”

********

Eventually, he was released to go home although he just came to my apartment. I get him all situated in bed and he stops me from leaving, “hey lyd?” “Yeah babe?” “I was thinking, d-do you want to move in together?” He asks scardly. I don’t even hesitate, “Yes of course.” His eyes lit up. “Wait really?” he questions. “Of course Calum.” I respond chuckling.

The rest of that night we spent looking for apartments in the area. After hours of searching we found this two bedroom apartment downtown. We fell in love with it. The next day we decided to visit it and that’s when we signed the papers. We bought our first apartment together.

********

Time Jump: One year

Calum decided to quit fighting and focus on training, which not surprisingly, he was better at. He now spends his days training young fighters like he was and take them under his wing.

We still live in that apartment together. We decided to get a dog. Well Calum decided to get a dog. I got a text from him one day saying there was a surprise at home. I wasn’t expecting to walk into my living room to see a dog on my couch. He’s a little husky, corgi rescue named Duke. Nonetheless, I still love him.

Liv gave birth to a healthy little girl named Luna. She’s the sweetest little child. Ashton no longer works at the gym. He decided to quit his job to ensure his family’s safety. He made the right decision.

As far as Calum and I, we’re great. I love him more than anything. We see a future with each other. That stupid descion I made a few years ago will haunt me for the rest of my life but in the end, it brought us closer.

Calum was my first real love. I’m lucky enough to see him as my last love too.

[nithyanelson-blog]

I have got a story to tell!!!!

I have got a story to tell!!

I went for a trek recently and as usual uploaded the photos stories in WhatsApp and Insta. One of my best friends insisted me that I should write about the experience in detail since I went with zero company. I'm not so good with words or metaphors but here I'm trying to detail what I've experienced.

Usually, I have the habit of exaggerating everything. But when I decided to write about my trip, I wanted it to be damn honest and the way I experienced it and not for the usual Insta update.

For a long time, I was thinking of going on a solo trip and experience what actually it is. So when my colleague Keerthi who is an avid trekker told me about his experience, I got a spark that I should try this one. It took me around 5 months to convince myself that I will be able to make it and it took another 2 months to convince my paranoid mother why I wanted to do it.

After getting the blessings from Mommy Dearest, the date for the auspicious trek was finalised as Feb 3rd 2019. The plan was to reach Delhi by flight and train to Dehradun from Delhi. So I started to Delhi on 2nd Feb morning. Morning dawned as usual and I got ready as usual and boarded local train to airport as usual except the fact I'm carrying 60 litre bag. It was quite heavy and I still wonder why the hell I packed so much for a trek(First timer- you never know what you'll need :P) I left Singara Chennai with much love from two of my best friends Ani and Vaishu. To be honest, I didn't feel a thing till I landed in Delhi. The moment I got into the Delhi metro station alone, the feeling of doing something for the first time started to kick in. Now many of you think what's fuss about this going alone as if I'm going to Moon or other planet(I feel you guys!) but I'll tell you why. This is not something that happens in our household often. Even I go to Bangalore or any other place for office trips or any other trip for that matter, my mother make sure that I call her before, after and during the journey and book the safest mode of transport suggested by the company itself or being accompanied by a friend or colleague. I won't say that I have never travelled alone then it would be a big load of bull shit but this kind of trip and trek with bunch of strangers in no network area is not a usual one for us.

So I met two of my trekmates in the Delhi railway station and we started our journey together to Dehradun. Around 6:30 in the morning, I reached Dehradun and met the other trekmates who were waiting outside railway station. Then the introductions happened and a guy who looked not more than 20 came and introduced himself as my trek leader and he is Himanshu. Haha I was shocked. I had to check twice whether he was the trek leader for real. Then our journey to the village of Sankri began. Sankri is the base camp for our trek. It is around 180 kms from Dehradun. 10 of us got into tempo Traveller and started our journey to the base camp. On the way we had our dinner and lunch.

I still wonder why did I order Dosa in the pahadi restaurant. It was so worse all I wanted to do was to take a flight back to Chennai and have a Saravana Bhavan Dosa. And yeah I don't blame anybody. On the way I saw the glimpses of snow and Yamunotri ranges. Man I was damn excited for this trip!

At around 5, we reached our base camp and got settled in the rooms provided. I explored the village for some time and went to the temple and prayed without knowing who's the God🤦 Back in the camp, all the prerequisites for the trek(medical history, documents) were checked by our trek leader and he started the briefing for trek. We gave a brief introduction about ourselves and it reminded me of my college first day. Then I was so nervous but now it was so fun. I was smiling for no reason. 20 of trekmates came from different cities of India. One big gang from Bangalore, one couple from Mumbai to celebrate anniversary, one couple to celebrate honeymoon, one engaged couple, a father daughter duo from Kolkata, guys from Rajasthan, Mumbai. It was a mix of everything. Once the briefing was done, I went out to have my dinner and felt the first cruel chill of the trek. To be honest, I have never been in a place where the temperature is below 18° C. That too because this year we had actual winter in Chennai. So when you put me in the 4° C, obviously I would shiver and freeze. I was about to cry when I couldn't feel my hands. Himanshu smiled and said 'Hota hai hota hai'. Adeii!! All I wanted to do was to smack his face at the very moment. Then I grabbed the hot tea vessel and had some food for the growling stomach and retired to bed soon. I couldn't help imagining how I'm going to survive for the next 4 days. Truth to be told, I was excited for the trek and panicked for the cold. Somehow I was drawn into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I got up to the commanding voice of Himanshu. This time he wanted to check blood pressure at 6:30 in the morning. Phewww!! There gone my sleep with him. We got ready and had our breakfast and all set to go for the trek. On the first day we had to cross 2.5 kms. But believe me when I tell you it's not just 2.5 kms. When you ascend the mountain, you would feel it requires double or triple the energy to cross than the one guides have mentioned.

After getting the do's and dont's from Himanshu, we started our trek following the trail. We would have walked hardly for 500 m , then it was just snow. I came to know that this year the snowfall was very heavy and usually on this trek we get to see snow only on 3rd day but this time we got it 1st day itself. I was quite happy and excited and got into my usual jumpy mode to see the snow.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was walking on the 3 feet snow and all I could see was just snow. I played and played and played throughout the trail and fatigue started showing it's face before I could reach the 1st campsite. With much struggle and constant Chalo chalo echoes from the guides Sunil Bhai and Upi Bhai, I reached the camp.

It was such a mesmerizing sight! One side its a valley of snow and other side stood the glorious pine trees bathed in snow yet giving the majestic looks. We have got two local dogs to play with and it accompanied us to other camp sites as well. We played mafia, cards, some funny games for introductions and had a blast on the first day. It felt so very good to get rid of my inhibitions and be able to mingle with a group about whom I knew nothing of. Once the dinner done, some of us decided to go for star gazing and the argument, discussion about various topics during star gazing we had, are something that's gonna stay with me forever.

Second day dawned little cloudy and sun was not ready to come out and meet us. Today we had to cross 4-5 kms. There were three steep ascends in the trail and I was dreaded and excited as usual. But it was much better than I expected and was one of the firsts to reach base camp. On the way we had so much fun and as for me, 2nd day was the best. I sang the loudest on the way and threw snow at everyone I saw and we played with the fresh snow on the whole trail.

I stopped at so many places and wondered whether I'm in heaven. The moment I saw the frozen lake Juda ka thalaab, I fell in love almost immediately. How can everything be so pristine white like there is no hint of cruelty or bad vibes in it! Words fail me to describe the magnificence of the nature. No adjectives are enough to express the beauty of it. All I could do was to be in the moment and enjoyed it till lasts.

The same joyous mood stayed for the complete day. Even in the campsite, we played games but this time, on the snow. I was so carefree, and didn't have any worry about anything in the world. I made snowman(with huge help from Rahul), engaged in snow fight, played so many games. It was just merry making time for us.

After the two days of trek, I was confident that I could manage to reach the summit. So it was never a question of whether I could do or not.

Himanshu told that we would be starting at 5 in the morning for the summit. Around 11 pm, I woke up to the butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was the excitement and nervousness of climbing the peak. But later I found it was the butterflies of sickness. I threw up twice and Himanshu was called and he gave medicines and clearly told me that he wouldn't allow me for summit if my condition remains the same. So I prayed all the gods to keep me fit and healthy just for a day.

Around 3:30 am, we got the woke up call and we were welcomed with snowfall and bone breaking cold. I hoped that weather and my health get better before trek get started. An hour passed with the refreshments and nokjhoks. Weather got much better than me. I was feeling breathlessness for walking from my tent to dining area. Himanshu told me that I'm not going anywhere and asked me to take rest. After much pleading and him not wanting a debate in the morning, I started the trek. I took my father's muffler with me and keep on talking with it as if with my father. I keep on telling 'Appa epdiyadhu poidanum'. I pretty much managed half way then suddenly I started feeling nausea and was about to faint. I had to walk to a hut which was 100m away where I could take rest and start again but I couldn't even reach there. At that moment I realised I'm not gonna make it to summit and I failed. I informed my guides and Himanshu that I'm not coming and they can go ahead. I sat in the hut for 20 minutes feeling dejected and listening to a guide and other fellows who decided not to go to summit for various reasons. I listened and listened and suddenly I couldn't any more. I came out controlling my tears and looked at the majestic Kedarkantha peak for one last time and started to run to the base camp. Alone. Defeated. I blamed myself, my father, my health, Himanshu, anything and everything that came on my mind. And then I stopped and took a look around me. It was just snow and mountains looking at me. I sat there on the snow and started thinking why I failed. Then I realized I triumphed the moment I took the TT to Sankri with 10 odd strangers. It was never about the climbing the summit at 13000 ft. It was about me coming out of my comfort zone which I have drawn for myself. I still remember when I was roaming on the streets of Delhi, I gave a thought of going back to Chennai without even showing up in Dehradun. But I came to Sankri and for 3 days I was among the strangers doing things which I have never done in my life and lived my life like never before and survived -20° C. This is the success for me and this is what I wanted. If I climbed the summit, that would definitely been a cherry on the top but I can't sulk over it and not seeing the happiness and fulfillment I got every other minute over the past 3 days. I have never seen snow in my life but here I'm walking on the snow and couldn't see anything other than snow and beautiful ranges. Why would I worry for something which I can't control?? With determined mind, I started walking to the base camp. This time contented and happy. I danced, I sang, I laughed, I played, I talked with the mountains and I slid down the snow. Simply I lived in the moment and enjoyed the time. With the whole hearted happiness, I reached the base camp, gulped the medicines and waited for others to join. I heard the stories of people who climbed the summit and to my surprise I didn't regret the decision of coming down. We stayed in the pahad for two more days and enjoyed the bliss and started our way back to Dehradun bidding good byes to our guides, Himanshu and the black dog who accompanied me throughout the trek! Being emotional type that I'm, I shed two or three tears when Himanshu hugged and asked me to come back to finish the summit.

When coming back, all the memories of the last 5 days rushed in my mind and probably the precious memories of my life. I'm sure I will go back to see the mountains again. May be they wanted me to come again and that could be the reason for my sickness 😝 (When you're are so optimistic, you can say anything)

This 5 day trek was not just another vacation for me. It was the best time and there is a feeling of content and self realisation! I realised it's ok to give yourself a break and live the life a little at times!!

While we were on the trek, everyone had a story to tell. When they looked at me, I told them with much embarrassment that I don't have any story. Rahul cheered me up and said 'Now you have got a story'.

And yeah now I have got a story to tell everyone💛