#'Hypo this has nothing to do with music or the war-'

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 4.08 ‘The General’ Reaction Take 2

“A shrewd and temperamental leader” That’s putting it mildly

There’s so many death screams of clones in these episodes, it’s just heartbreaking.

Jeez Kix, did you have to jab the hypo that hard into the poor dude's neck? Or at least I’m assuming that’s Kix.

Fives and Rex fighting and shooting next to each other again. I love the way the kama’s fan out behind their legs. And that is a very fine shot of Rex’s very fine thighs again.

Krell just fucking rolling over a dead clone with his foot. Fucker. Do something! Don’t just wander around in the background while the clones do all the work.

There’s a lot of military tropes in the music, which makes sense. 

“I dunno. Could be fun.” omg Hardcase now is not the time

Jesse, baby, please, what are you doing? You need that brain cell.

“Yeah, but General Skywalker is usually leading his men up in the front, not bringing up the rear like General Krell.” Fives again saying what everything is thinking.

The clones' accents are all over the shop again. Various different clones have all had moments of sounding Aussie, Kiwi, British and American at some point. I’m really not sure what accent they’re supposed to sound like they have at this point. In the scene where all the clones making very valid points about Krell’s tactics, Tup sounds almost British. Rex also has hints of British (that ‘air base’ sounded like a posh officer from WWII or similar). Jesse starts out sounding American (‘yah know, I’) and then suddenly veers into very broad Aussie (‘crazy before’) before finishing in … vague Antipodean? Fives definitely sounds American (the ‘a’ in ‘capital’ was definitely a broad American ‘ah’). Still not sure what Hardcase is. Chaotic probably. Dogma sounds British, also almost like a posh officer, with hints of Kiwi. Rex also has hints of Kiwi now too and Fives sounded very Aussie there. It’s also really interesting that Rex’s voice changes between talking to the Jedi and talking to fellow clones, which also makes sense. The difference is more noticeable here when it’s between dealing with Krell and talking to his men. 

This hushed convo between Rex and Fives has some beautiful close up detail. You can really tell from Rex’s voice just how upset he is.

Boys, why are you crawling on the floor? What is this spider clone nonsense?

Does anyone know what the detail on the front of Fives’ bucket is? I vaguely recall reading somewhere that it’s Mandalorian inspired but I’m not entirely sure that was legit.

Oh great, a centipede tank. Just what we needed.

Yas, more Star Wars universe swearing

“We need rocket launchers” Hardcase is going to be very happy about that

Mayday? *sobs*

Rex standing there all sassy with his hands on his hips

Cackling at the clones trying to lure the centipede tanks towards them. That is not subtle boys. Though I suppose it wasn’t supposed to be. Still funny though.

Rex being an absolute BAMF. First being all ice cold under pressure waiting for the right moment to blow the detonators as the centipede tanks bear down on them. Then getting thrown through the air by the subsequent explosion that he just created. Cool guys don’t look at explosions etc etc.

“No juice left in him either.” *blam blam* Rex getting all the one liners and action hero moments.

I clocked this the first time but didn’t remember it in my first reaction post. Those flying Umbaran creatures looked like they were going to eat a dead clone, kind of like space vultures, and it’s Kix that runs up and shoots them to make sure they don’t. His “Still hungry? Chew on that!” is full of rage and shows just how pissed off he is. You can see him linger after, looking at the fallen clone, and Rex has to tell him “Hey, Kix, leave it.” It’s a very brief moment but you really get a sense of just how strongly and deeply Kix cares.

Also, Rex just casually blasts the last creature out of the sky like it's nothing. Sir, you’re showing off again.

“We’ve got a problem.” That’s an understatement

Fives little head shake when Rex asks him if he has any ideas :( 

This is a fucking massacre

Omg that wounded clone was shot right in front of Kix as he was treating him. Fuck. I think there were what looked like 2 other medics also with him but I can’t quite tell.

"You sound like General Krell." The way Rex stops, you can tell that line from Kix hurt. That entire exchange between Rex and Kix was heartbreaking. They both sound so upset and angry and they’re both just trying to do the best with what they can and it’s still not enough and it’s all awful. 

Why is Appo being treated like a piece of furniture to hold the holo of Rex?

“Or you will be relieved of duty.” Well at least that line is going to come back and bite Krell in the arse later on. Especially as Rex delivers in a much more badass manner.

The next 4 gifs are by @kamino-coruscant from their great gifset of this entire exchange. I usually try to use the tumblr gif search, despite it being a completely useless dumpster fire, but tumblr is refusing to cooperate and is doing weird stuff today so hopefully I've credited this as best as possible.

Hardcase: So anyway, I started blasting

Lol Fives did you really need to slide down that hill

Hardcase has ADHD confirmed. Or at least as close to confirmed in canon that we’re ever going to get. It’s not as nuanced yet obvious as the quote from Tech but I’m glad there’s more neurodivergent clones. 

Fives: *minecraft villager noise*

That’s a pretty fucken big sensor wall

Oh hello close up shot of Fives’ hands

Naw, Hardcase grumbling to himself

That was a pretty damn impressive shot. Hardcase just took out the weird Umbaran creature with a single shot using a grappling hook. A grappling hook. Not a blaster. A grappling hook.

“Wow. I never actually thought that would work.” That’s not reassuring Fives!

Ok, who gave Rex a rocket launcher

Jesus H Christ that clone just got crushed by the giant tank foot

“Start pushing buttons.” STILL CACKLING

Well at least we now know what it would be like if Fives and Hardcase ever went on a roller coaster

Hardcase is having the time of his life, hanging upside down shooting enemies

Omg I am loving Fives maniacal laughter

Ahahahaha they are both loving this

Gif by @kamino-coruscant from this post

Kix screaming and shooting uncontrollably is another of those small moments that show just how affected he is by all this. You can see how much all of this has worn down on him as the episode progresses and it’s a really interesting and subtle way of showing how awful this whole situation is that even the most gentle of men, and a medic, has been pushed to his limits. Kind of like Kix represents the heart of the 501st and Torrent. Insert your own reference here to that quote about a wise man fearing the anger of a gentle man and all that. 

That moment, where there’s plenty of shaky cam and you hear Rex sigh/pant/gasp for breath and shoot the rocket launcher at the tank again only for it to still be standing. You really get the sense of just how dire everything is there.

Oh that is a definitely a ‘the cavalry have arrived moment’. What a fanfare. 

Was Rex surrounded by 3 tanks?!

I don’t know what it is but that shot where Fives says “Clear out, captain.” just feels really poignant for some reason. Like there’s more than just Fives and Hardcase arriving to save the day. It’s also Fives saving Rex and everything that he means to and has done for Fives (and Echo *sobs*). It’s past midnight and I’m probably reading too much into this but it just felt like a moment.

“The big guns have arrived, sir!” Hardcase sounds so happy that he’s found a bigger gun

Hardcase having the absolute time of his life there

That’s the second time Rex has eaten dirt after an explosion in this episode. Insert 2 nickles reference here.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Alright, let’s bring ‘em home.” I adore Fives. I just adore him so much.

“Impressive.” If that was so impressive, then WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TRY TO EXECUTE THEM FOR DOING THE EXACT SAME THING?! This fuck face needs to meet with an open air lock immediately. I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate a character this much but oh boy do I ever now.

Fire burning in yellow eyes? That’s not subtle at all.

“Despite Hardcase’s flying” Wow, savage much Rex?

“Luck has smiled on you today, Captain.” ah fuck off

Oh, his clenched fist. Oh.

Badass group shot to finish! From left to right: I can’t tell who the four clones on the left are. Fives and Rex in the middle. Then Jesse and Hardcase (with the biggest gun he could possibly find), followed by Kix and Dogma. Kix has the big triangle on his chest plate and the diagonal thick blue stripe around his thicc right thigh. Dogma has the downwards pointing blue V on his chest plate. Oooh, that means they’re visual opposites of each other. Interesting. I’ve also just realised that Fives is very blue and grey. There’s very little white on his armour. Though that may be the lighting because I’ve just googled his armour and there is actually more white on it than it looks. I do like his stripy patterned kama. 

Lmao I just rewatched the start of this scene at the end and when Hardcase takes his helmet off he shakes his head like he’s shaking out his hair. Hardcase, you have no hair. You’re bald. Babe, what are you doing?

Cackling at the side eye Hardcase gives Jesse when he says he looked a little green when he came out of that fighter. 

Still adoring Jesse every time he appears. There’s a gentleness to him under everything and he just seems really sweet.

Oh these boys have my heart. I’ve completely fallen for all of them. Everything for the clones.

[melodic-melovin]

[Rough Translation: 

🙏🏻 Dedicated to all Pate lovers! 🤘🏼❤️‍🔥

2 onions

3 chicken breasts

Fry in butter + sunflower oil

Add water, simmer for 15 minutes

Add 2 baked green apples with peel, sprinkle with dill and parsley!

A teaspoon of sugar, salt, pepper to taste.

Let all the ingredients make friends under the cover from Elon Musk! This is the secret formula! Do not forget! (NOTE: I ran this through two separate translators and it came out like this, I genuinely don’t know what this means. If anyone wants to elaborate for me, I would be very thankful.)

Put everything into the blender until it’s paste! Add melted butter - remember, the pate loves it very much...they are a universal love

And enjoy!

P.S No thin layers of pâté on bread…NO! Do not humiliate the great Pate!

We store a good pate under a thin layer of melted butter in the refrigerator! ❤️‍🔥]

No, for once this isn’t me fucking up what blog I’m posting to. For those not in the know, Mel also uses his Patreon to post recipes/food experiments he’s  doing.

...I’m actually not sure I have a tag for this kind of content. I’m also not sure if this is even content people would be interested in seeing, but who knows? I am but a simple blogger here to bring Mel material in whatever way I happen to find it.

(Someone actually make this though, and get back to me if it’s any good or not. I haven’t had pate since before the COVID.)

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month Patreon: Our Flag Means Death: "Pilot" Review (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Yo ho all you happy people! Pirate Month continues.. somehow. With some. The last few weeks have been rough seas, but pirate month sails on. And ironically, into the waters of HBO Max

Yeah after my shockingly popular rant last week, seriously any of you following or coming in from that or just in general

It's great to have you. But yes we're back to the dumpster fire that was once one of the proudest and best streaming services around but is now a self canablizing nightmare that won't go away. I've went from hoping any adaptation went here to hoping many flee in terror and praying some still actually get made. You used to hear me constantly singling disney out for their idiocy

But this somehow tops most of what they've ever done. These shows MIGHT return or someone else might be able to save the company, but for now we're just stuck praying anything we care about dosen't get cannonballed into oblivion and left where it's avaliablity is tenious at best. So why am I reviewing something from the network at the worst possible moment? Simple.. this was planned before. Emma has a busy schedule, so she tends to pick her patreons late unless I ask early, and being a forgetful sort, I can tend to. She's GOOD at it, with her picks having had me review incest civil war laser tag, badly animated sci fi nonsense and this glory

So it was only pure Parker Luck that HBO Max decided to canablize their animation for profit the same week I was set to cover this. But I realized something important: With access uncertain, with HBO max striking randomly and insanely, and with no safe harbor... I have to get off my ass and watch stuff that may be destroyed as soon as the next season is out, and as we've seen with Summer Camp Island it can happen BEFORE too, instead of waiting. Sure this project having a high profile creator attached, being a very high profile queer work , and having a huge fanbase MIGHT be a enough.. but given Logic and tact haven't really entered into this current dumbfuckery, it's best to see the series and review an episode NOW rather than wait and loose it in a tax writeoff next year after season 2.

So several paragraphs and f-you's later, we arrive at our real destination: Our Flag Means Death. And this really has been one i've been meaning to check out for some time: It's produced by Taika Watiti, whose lately become one of my faviorite creators: He's director of the all time cinematic classics What We Do In The Shadows and JoJo rabbit and the fun as hell Thor films Ragnarok and Love and Thunder, and created the excellent What We Do In The Shadows tv show, which is also on the pile. Feel free to boo I know I am, i'm missing peak Matt Berry by being behind on it, as well as producing another show i've heard nothing but good things about, Reservation Dogs. The guy is a genius so while he isn't writer or director here, and his character Blackbeard isn't in this pilot, he clearly picks projects he puts his name on very carefully and if he's remotely involved with something, it's usually a good sign it's awesome. Add in Rhys Dharby who I first fell in love with on flight of the conchords as Murray...

And while he could've easily stopped with this cult classic I also need to watch (I mostly followe dit via music videos when it was airing and haven't watched it despite having easy access since max launched because i'm stupid and forget it's there), he has since made a sizeable name for him as a voice actor. Seriously while he mostly plays smaller parts he's popped up in TONS of shows since the late 2010's, from Milo Murphy's Law, RIP, to Rise of the TMNT , also RIP, to shows that aren't dead probably. He's played warthogs, snowflakes, gay hypo's, evil pistachios and more but really hasn't as far as I can tell been a leading man in anything. He was important to FOTC, but this seems like the first time the guy has REALLY been let loose and thus that was a huge draw for me.

And i'm happy to say that even before it hits it's peak and becomes a gay love story involving blackbeard, something I didn't know I needed and can't wait to hit as I watch more episodes, Our Flag Means death is an instant classic from the pirate and has finally given Rhys the meaty starring role he's always been capable of. The show is everything I hoped for.

While most of you reading this are likely fans of the show already, a quick refresher for those who aren't as familiar, i.e. Emma most likely: Our Flag Means Death follows Stede Bonnet, based on the real life pirate I know nothing about of the same name, a posh aristocrat who fled his old life to become a pirate, and is trying to clean up piracy a bit: He pays his men wether their succesful or not, and built his ship, the awesomely named The Revenge, with a sauna, rec area, and a personal library he'd be glad to lend out to the crew if any of them besides his assitant, the equally posh Lucius, played by Nathan Foad. Like a large chunk of the cast, i've never heard of him but like said chunk, he's excellent so it really dosen't matter. Steed does compensate by reading the pirates a story every night, as of the pilot Pinnochio. He's essentially trying to run this pirate ship like a modern work place, basically if Micheal Scott and Leslie Knope got combined in some horrible teleporter accident and became a pirate, having the bad need to be loved and have a family and be liked as the other, but like the latter having some compietence, optiism and good intentions, just being too naive to realize how hard ti's going to be to get these through.

Unlike other work coms though, the crew can actually kill their boss if he annoys them too much and the pilot centers around that, with the crew preparing a mutiny, with the only ones not being on board as much being Oluwande, played by Samson Kayo, a kind sort whose fond of the captain even if he's not the best and Jim, a seeming mute great with knives played by Vico Ortiz.. who turns out to be nonbinary. Which is good for me I got spoiled on that as it means I won't get any prounounds long. Though none of the crew is bad, it's just how change is: the rest simply can't accept that stede's way of doing things is PROBABLY better and he just needs to grow into the position, with Oluwande being the only one aware that not only is this much better.. but that it's so rare it' sbest to enjoy it while he lasts. Hey I said he appriacates the captain, I didn't say he was in denial about Stede's odds of survivial. Leading the mutiny is the lisping Black Pete (Matthew Maher) , a wannabe tough guy who claims to have been on blackbeards boat and won't shut up about it and the Jerry from Parks and Rec looking Kristian Nairin as Wee John, a giant who wants to burn things. Naturally I love him.

So to offset the mutiny after several small insignifigant raids, Stede targets the biggest/only ship they can see and with Buttons conformation the crew gets ready to have a bloody good time gettin good and bloody.. but Stede has a full on Panic Attack as we flash back to his past. And this is where the show really got me. See I throughly enjoyed it and was on board to this point, the jokes were that kind of goofy creative type of humor I enjoy from Stede telling everyone to "look scary' to the crew only not killing him at the moment because he's one of the only two people who can read, the only one who can do the voices and they want to know how Pinocchio ends, and Stede deciding the best way to help with disatsifaction at first is a flag design contest. It's truly my kind of show.

But what takes it from really good to great is making stede far more complex than he appears. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a work just being a goofy comedy. That's fine by me and Producer Watiti did wonders with that with What We Do In The Shadows, which had moments of pathos but was mostly just the story of a bunch of goofy vampires in new zeland and their dark bidding on the interent.

So series creator and showrunner David Jenkins could've kept at that and i'd of been fine.. but he took it one step further without undercutting the wacky tone entirely, which can be tricky but he pulls off well. From here we start seeing pieces of Stede's old life.. and it was miserable. The first flashback here has a butcher working for the family slaughter an animal in front of the kid, tell him not to look away then mock him for being soft.

Which is thinly coded as people bullying him for coming off gay. Spoilers, Stede turns out to be VERY gay., but it's always a dickish thing to do to bully someone for being diffrent and to be a homophobic twitsandwitch.

But we see through later flashbacks in teh ep Stede never fit in: He was bullied at school, chased, called slurs and then had his hands tied to oars and forced to row and at home there was literal distance between him and his family... no seriously he sat at one end while his family sat at the other

Stede was an outsider in his own home, his own LIFE, never accepted by anyone it seemed (other episodes may prove this wrong) and even now trying to find a new family, he's not really accepted. While the metaphor there given Stede is also a gay man and a not tradtionally masculine man, is subtle a knife to the eye, it still works because it dosen't overshadow the story but plays into it. Stede is not conventional.. yet he's a good man and while he may not be a good pirate YET his ideas aren't bad and he has his heart in the right place. I mean until someone cuts it out and holds it up as a trophy but for now he's trying to do the right thing he's just out of his depth. BUt he had no real other options: He coudln't get a divorce, given the century, his family , both immedite and other clearly never got him.. leaving to be a pirate, to try ANYTHING else is better than dying on the inside. He also uses the money he came from well: He gives his men a good wage, a tidy ship, and plenty of supplies. Odds are it'll run out.. but he's trying to do something better and more rich people coudl take a note from this fictional gay pirate and try and be better instead of hoarding wealth or cutting people's lifes works from a platform for 2.50 and an expired free pizza cupon.

Turns out though the ship.. is a HEAVILY armed royal naval warship and our heroes only don't die horribly because the Captain, Nigel Badmitton, a gloriously pompus name, is one of Stede's old bullies and thus dosen't buy the rumors that Stede is a pirate and Stede is able to quickly hide the crew as fellow aristocrats and servants.

The meal though is .. uncomfortable. Not only are the pirates naturally not really happy in the roll of high society snobs, but Badmittons crew are a bunch of racist twits who are unplesant to be around, and Badmittion himself a snobby bully who fondly recalls that incident with the oars I mentioned while the rest of the crew slowly get that "Okay this guy is a dumbass but he's OUR dumbass. " Things naturally break down once Stede is forced to humor badmittion and after one joke too many and Badmittion LAUGHIGN at the idea he could be a pirate, Stede tries braining him with a move Oluwande taught him.. and accidently makes the guy fall on his saber and into his eye

While the rest of the crew has a nice bloody massacre of most of Badmittions men after one's a racist to Oluwande starting with jim throwing a knife through a hand. While we don't see it, by the time Stede gets back to them only two are left alive and he's panicking over the corpse, not ready to have really killed someone, and only accepting it because Oluwande helps him, knowing that admitting to killing the guy will help the crew respect Stede.. which it does. Stede cements he can be badass for more than just accidedental murders by giving the one person they send back the same punishment his now dead captain gave Stede, showing that while Stede is out of his element, has clear trauma and may not be happy killin, which is a fair choice.. he's still got what it takes and thus his crew decides he can live for now. Also Jim's not a man OOOOO ALREADY SPOILED IT, and we end on a really nice bit: it being clear no matter how bad it was stede misses his family and treis to convince himself he's got a new one.. and him reading the crew pinoccio. Never has Rhys Darby reading a bunch of grown men to sleep been so touching.

So yeah Our Flag Means Death, at least the pilot is fucking fantastic. I don't know why the creators previous show failed: this one has style, humor and suprising tragedy, and excells at what it's producer does well: taking a mildly goofy but cool genre and poking fun at it while taking it JUST seriously enough to ground it. Our Flag Means Death is everything I hoped for and more and I highlyr ecommend watching it before it possibly burns. These are uncertain times.. but with Rhys Darby as a gay pirate... they might have some good times hidden in them too.

[luckyladylily]

Why is Dune bad? Sure the latter parts of the series kind of sucked.

The content of the books is good enough - the story, the setting, etc. - but in order to get to that you have to subject yourself to Frank Herbert’s writing style. It’s like dragging yourself through a quagmire as you wait for him to get to the fucking point. He does all the don’ts - an over reliance on exposition, excessively flowery descriptions, throwing piles of proper nouns at you without any context, it tells without showing, things like that.

The first paragraph introduces us to six proper nouns, and gives us many pieces of information without any sort of context for that information. We are introduced to three more proper nouns in the next two sentences. What information is important to remember here? Fuck if I know, and Frank sure isn’t telling us. He is too busy vomiting exposition.

“By the half-light of a suspensor lamp” - What the fuck is a suspensor lamp? This is that trope we always make fun of in shitty star wars books where the author throws a sience fictiony name for something common at us to make sure we know we are in space, in the future!

"Is he not small for his age, Jessica?" the old woman asked. Her voice wheezed and twanged like an untuned baliset. - This description doesn’t mean anything. A baliset is not a real instrument, it is a fake instrument that Frank Herbert invented specifically for this description. So the comparison is literally meaningless.

So her voice wheezed and twanged. I get wheezing, but how the fuck does a voice “twang”? Actually, that is a real thing! Vocal twang is quality that can be added to speech or singing to give a full, bright, and melodic tone. You know how country music vocals always have this sort of artificial sounding brightness to them? That is vocal twang. This is obviously isn’t what he meant with this description, because it directly contradicts the wheezing part and is not at all invoked by the comparison to an untuned instrument. What he is doing here is throwing random descriptive words at us and hoping we fill in the blanks because apparently he can’t write a description to save his life. This is “cerulean orbs” level bullshit. Maybe even worse, because “cerulean orbs” actually fucking means something.

We are only 5 paragraphs in, by the way, and it never gets better.

Three more proper nouns later we get this gem:

“Paul lay awake wondering: What's a gom jabbar?” - I’d like to know too! This is frank Herbert’s shitty way of signaling what information is important. “I know I’ve thrown 12 proper nouns, piles of setting information that doesn’t mean anything without context, several made of things, and a couple of descriptions that mean literally nothing, so in order to sift through that pile of shit I am going to devote the next hundred words to having paul tell you three times in a row that he doesn’t know what a gom jabbar is.

“silent people all around him moving in the dim light of glowglobes.” - Say LAMP mother fucker! We are like three pages in and already this asshole has invented two new ~science fiction~ words for lamps.

But the biggest problem with it is that the book immediately jumps into high stakes stuff without making you care at all about the characters. Like we get to the part with the gom jabbar and I just don’t care if this kid dies. I have no reason to care. Instead of establishing emotional context Frank Herbert spent multiple paragraphs throwing proper nouns at us and having paul wonder what the fuck a gom jabbar is over and over.

I’m going to stop there, because I could write many thousands of words on how shitty chapter 1 of Dune is. The writing style is terrible, making virtually every creative writing 101 “do not do this” mistake over and over and over again. The tone is overly self important, drowning in tell don’t show exposition, and fails to effectively establish either emotional and setting context that we desperately need to understand any of what is going on. How the hell do you write exposition heavy without telling us anything GOD

Frank Herbert’s style fights against the reader. It doesn’t flow, it doesn’t paint a vivid picture in the mind. And this isn’t even getting into the “White straight male author from the 60′s” syndrome the book has in droves.

Look, it is not the worst book ever, there are some interesting ideas in there, but it is middling sci fi at best. I read Moby Dick when I was 16 and Dune when I was 17. Dune was by far the bigger slog of pointless rambling nothing. I mean, look at this sentence from the opening paragraph of Moby Dick:

“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.”

Going so stir crazy and depressed that you have to stop yourself wandering the streets and knocking people’s hats off? That’s a fucking mood. I can picture that, I can relate to that. The writing flows beautifully, and we learn a great deal of the character of Ishmael and his current emotional state. We have a motivation, a mood, character establishment, and well written prose. It’s wonderful.

Anyway I don’t mind that other people enjoy Dune, god knows I enjoy my mediocre fiction, but it is often cited as “the greatest sci fi novel ever” and that makes me want to vomit.

[damnthoseyes]

Best Friends with CNCO

Full disclosure: I haven’t written anything in a VERY long time so I’m rusty as hell. Bear with me. Also, I learnt something while brainstorming for this: Erick is fucking difficult! It was really hard for me to come up with ideas for him for some reason.. And another thing: this is pretty long. Parts were pretty inspired and kind of got away from me. Anyway, here goes nothing

Caution: contains swearing. A lot of it.

Disclaimer: GIFs are definitely not mine

Christopher 

 Random giggle fits all the fucking time

Tickle wars

Going to restaurants and ordering way too much food, sharing everything then arguing over what was the best and worst

Food comas all the time

Constantly trying to get you to come out to clubs with him and Richard

Getting distracted by cakes in shop windows and salivating until you give in and buy everything

Pop punk sessions

Headbanging until you both have headaches

Him filming everything all the time until you want to throw his phone into the river

Always beating you at pool

Making faces at each other from across the room when you’re talking to other people

Literally acting like children all the time because you’re both grown ups

Unable to take anything seriously for more than 5 minutes

“STOP BITING ME!!”

Burying his head in your shoulder whenever he wants to laugh at inappropriate times

Having to drag him outside sometimes so he can experience some natural heat and be reintroduced to the sun

Half begging you to get food all the time and constantly complaining about being hungry until you stop whatever you’re doing just to shut him up

Constantly calling you a princess - sometimes affectionately and sometimes insultingly

Randomly singing all the time

Playing with his hair

Def-con one whenever he’s even remotely upset

“DALE”

Going “ay papa” at the same time in the same tone whenever you know he’s going to say it

Having to deal with his hypo ass

“How the fuck are you so perky?”

*coming over*

Chris: GOOD MORNING!!!

You: what’s so good about it? It’s 6am, why are you alive?

Richard

So many dirty jokes

Trading books

Him constantly trying to tell you how to dress and you flat out refusing to take his advice

Hard core car D&Ms

Random dance parties that go on for way too long

Slapping each other with random objects

Constantly trying to find activities for you guys to do 

Having to stop him from buying entire stores

Threatening to leave him behind because he’s taking too long

Always trying to scare you then getting into a mini punch on when he really gets you

Always trying to lift you off the ground and cut off your breathing

“CAN YOU PUT A SHIRT ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?!”

Yelling at each other from across the room because you actually can’t be fucked getting up

Always swearing

Super protective all the time especially around men

Hunting for coffee at all hours

So many play fights

King and Queen of Pessimism

Calling him out for being short

“SO ARE YOU!! Leave me alone.”

Constantly shoving his phone in your face to show you pictures and videos of Aaliyah 

Using her as a decoy whenever he says something to piss you off

Calling you whenever she’s playing with another boy and consulting with you on whether or not he should break it up 

Having to remind him that she’s a baby and that if he’s like this now, imagine what’s going to happen when she’s a teenager

Him wanting to kill you for putting that thought into his head

“You think you’ve got problems, try having a kid.”

Never having a come back for this 

Late night drinks after long days

*Seeing something unsettling*

Richard: *does that scream thing*

You: would you shUT THE FUCK UP?”

“Can you let go of my fucking ears?”

Yelling VAMANOS and clapping aggressively whenever he comes to pick you up and you’re not ready yet

Suffering from his death grip on your shoulder whenever he sees a gorgeous girl on the street

Zoning out whenever he’s talking about a girl

Richard: are you listening to me? I think I just found the love of my life!

He finds the “love of his life” at least twice a week 

Nuzzling into his arm and trying to get his face whenever he has his head on a table because he’s tired or doesn’t want to deal with the world, just to quietly try to make him laugh

Zabdiel

Random cuddles all the time

Zabdiel: Are you okay?

You: Yeah, why?

Zabdiel: It’s ok, just cuddle

You: Get the hell away from me

Constantly having to pull him out of bed when he sleeps through your meeting time

You: ZabdIEL GET UP

Zabdiel: *grumbles*

You: I’m starving, GET THE HELL UP

Zabdiel: *grumbles*

You: Zabdiel, the world is coming to an end! You’re our only hope!

Zabdiel: *waves you away mumbling an mmhmm*

Falling asleep on you all the time

Naps for days

*Daily life*

Zabdiel: you really need to relax

You: you really need to shut the fuck up

Him trying to get you into yoga

In depth discussions on your travel plans

Always underestimating his size

Feeling very small whenever he stands very close to you 

“Fucking tree”

Making him reach for stuff

Actual bear hugs

Stealing his clothes even though he’s supremely broad

Death stares all the time

Watching documentaries on the most random topic because he just wants to learn

“How do you say this?”

Having to pronounce everything at least 3 times

Scaring you out of your daze whenever he makes any kind of noise while you’re trying to concentrate since he’s usually so quiet

Resting his forearm on your shoulder to alert you to his presence because the world is tiny to him 

Joel

Always going to musicals whenever good ones are in the city

Stealing his hats

Constantly trying to maintain conversations in various accents

Steering him away from pet stores and puppies on the street

Joel: PUPPY!!

You: No! Joel, no!! You can’t just take someone’s dog!

Joel: BUT I LOVE HIM

Netflix binge sessions

Stealing his clothes

“Step away from the mirror”

Constantly stealing food off your plate

You: GET YOUR OWN

Joel: ONE MORE

All the chocolate

Having to pull him out of shops because you’ve spent way too long looking at the same things

Making up games to kill time and getting way too competitive

Refusing to play board games with him because he cheats like crazy

Quoting dialogue from movies and making it sound like an unscripted conversation you’re actually having

Constantly trying to find new things to try and seriously criticizing them

*Daily life*

Joel: You look really pretty today

You: *suspicious* what do you want?

Joel: What, I can’t tell you you look pretty?

You: *raises eyebrows*

Joel: *sighs* are you busy tomorrow, I need a favour

*Waiting for him to get ready*

You: Your hair looks fine! Let’s go!

Joel: JUST FINE?!

You: Your hair is the most perfect thing in the universe LET’S GO

Erick

Constantly running jokes by you, never actually taking your opinion but asking for it anyway

Always sticking your tongues out at each other

Binge watching TV shows and getting way too invested

“Come on, mama’s boy!”

Cuddles all the time especially when he’s embarrassed

Having to defend him against the other guys when they start picking on him

Erick Colon Defence Squad

Nudging him back to reality when he goes off in his own little world

Always going to each other for advice

Saving each other from awkward conversations

“First one to laugh loses” competitions

Screaming matches whenever you play games because you both think the other cheats

Basically his personal photographer

Hugging you a little too tightly whenever he makes a joke at your expense

Stealing his beanies and actually trying to get away with wearing them in front of him without him trying to get it back

Him stealing your earrings all the time

Him falling asleep on your legs

Making funny faces at him whenever he gets too serious

*Every time you’re going out*

Erick: How’s the hair?

You: ...get the fuck out of the house

Mocking him when he tries to hit on girls

Letting him rant for a while just to see where he’s going to go with a particular topic

Making up random stories about what people are talking about on the street when you’re bored

Coming up with pranks and arguing over whose ideas are better